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dangermousie · 5 months

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2023 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

Yes, we have a lot of December left, but I don't think anything else I want to check out will air before 2024 hits (it's cdrama so caveat is - you never know.)

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it's not on the list. This was a pretty good cdrama year, all in all.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

30 legend of twin flower - Not dignifying that drama with capital letters, as the only capital that should be associated with this is capital punishment - which is what watching this feels like.

29 Dominator of Martial Gods - sounds like a bdsm gay porn title. Would probably be better acted and written if it was.

28 Beauty of Resilience - you'd need a lot of said resilience to sit through this incoherent, barely acted mess. The thing that I remember the most other than my annoyance is all the jingly-jangly head gear on JJY. Perhaps they could have sold some of them and spent the money on a better script.

27 Divine Destiny - if you think you have too many brain cells and want to get rid of some, boy do I have a drama for you!

26 Wanru’s Journey - honestly it's probably tied with SEL - I mean it's worse but it has actors who are nowhere as well known and a fraction of SEL's budget. Still, this is a big fat nope. I will not say what I think of Aoi Rupeng's "acting" or I'd have to put money in the curse jar.

25 Snow Eagle Lord - Gulinazha's stone face, nonsense plot, terrible CGI. Take your pick as to why this is terrible.

24 Scent of Time - it was uneven but fun but then that ending was dumb enough to destroy the whole thing. Show me on the doll where common sense hurt you, makers!

23 Royal Rumors - Jeremy Tsui and Meng Ziyi are utterly wasted in this nothing trifle of a drama.

22 Legend of Anle - I had high expectations but alas. This is the drama version of color beige. There is nothing offensive about it but nothing good either. Mediocre actors are mediocre, good actors become mediocre, this is just a waste of our finite time on planet earth.

21 Romance on the Farm - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like this wholesome slice of farming family life, but it's tailored to trigger every one of my "nope" opinions.

20 Back from the Brink - if I were 12, it would be my favorite thing. I am not 12.

19 Journey of Chong Zi - objectively a terrible drama with plot holes the size of Mars and a leading lady whose face has apparently frozen when the wind changed. But I am a total sucker for the trope of upright shizun falling for his demonic disciple and going mental so here we are. Objectively, garbage, subjectively my precious!

18 Love you Seven Times - just call poor Ding Yuxi "Atlas," he carried this mess so hard.

17 Blooming Days - trashy dogblood harem fight fun throwback. It's not that great (and the fact that it was shredded doesn't help) but it's probably the last gasp of that genre for the foreseeable future, so I am grading on a curve.

16 The Starry Love - a fun fantasy where the secondary OTP stole the thunder but overall a really solid fantasy xianxia romance.

15 The Longest Promise - it could have been better - the secondaries were unbearable and there was too much of them and what they did with Alen Fang's character still gives me rage fits, but the main couple was impeccable and lovely and I rooted so hard for them.

14 Chang Feng Du/Destined - visually gorgeous, solidly acted, impeccable first half. Bland as hell second half. Win some, lose some.

13 Circle of Love - this drama is a nonsense trash heap on fire. After a typhoon hit it. It was also the most entertaining, addicting drama on this whole list.

12 Hidden Love - the sole modern on this list, this story has barely any plot but it made me care about the young, decent lovers so hard.

11 Choice Husband - starts out wacky, continues with angst and blood and happy ending. I loved it, but I've always had a soft spot for melo and schemers turning devoted.

10 Pledge of Allegiance - bromance, super solid acting, visuals, a really dark take on officials and the world. Insanely underrated.

9 Provoke - a truly fun Republican revenge and love tale, showing that short format can be wonderful.

8 Gone with the Rain - some of the secondary characters are rage-inducing (hi there, cardboard boy!) but the scheming, ruthless, vulgar FL is amazing and her slowburn with her age gap general who is delighted by her out-there-ness is great!

7 Wonderland of Love - Fei Wo Si Cun goes wholesome and the result is surprisingly entertaining. Battle couple, glorious visuals, a fast paced plot. It's the first Xu Kai drama I enjoyed in years (and he plays a rare cdrama ML it would be pretty neat to pair up with in rl.)

6 My Journey to You - that ending is infuriating (and I am OK with open endings if done properly) but what a visual feast, probably the most gloriously shot drama on this list, and that's a tough competition. Also it packs a hell of a lot of couples and familial and adversarial relationships into its slim running time; assassin lady won over by a gentle man is my favorite trope and so this is extra great.

5. Till the End of the Moon - the ending is a rage-inducing disaster for me, but this drama was the most incredibly emotionally intense, visually eye popping experience. It was deeply flawed but when it was amazing, it was like nothing else in its visuals, its characters and its narratives. It took insane risks; some paid off and some did not, but it was glorious.

4. Story of Kunning Palace - I don't often care for reverse harem stories but this one was such fun - the main OTP was glorious (strong FL, unhinged ML) but honestly everything about this was just so excellently done.

3. The Ingenious One - the most adult drama on this list. Smart protagonists, intelligent plot, emotions that felt true, this is a revenge and a mystery and found family and goes into so many directions you do not expect (Su Mengyu's PTSD after his first kill - that is something you never see in dramas, definitely not prolonged and profound - not like this.) If I was to say which drama was objectively the best on this list, as opposed to favorite, it would be this.

1 (tie) Lost You Forever 1 - this is an exquisite emotional jewel of a story about damaged people moving forward, with damage always present - their past informs their present and always will. The narrative about Xiao Yao and three very different men in her life makes me think that it's an equivalent of a neutron bomb going off right before the main narrative starts and now we are watching the survivors wander in the wreckage. This is very high fantasy setting but it's one of the most emotionally human narratives out there.

1 A Journey to Love - everything I ever wanted - assassins, ride or die adult OTP with genuine believable conflicts, great and complex secondaries, beautiful fights. Oh, and yeah Liu Shi Shi domming the hell out of every man in a ten mile radius, as she should.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It's a tie between Lost You Forever Part 1 and A Journey to Love. LYF1 is a bona fide art piece but it's only part 1 and who knows if part 2 will be any good (seeing the huge ep number cut, I have my doubts) and so it's incomplete. AJTL is an old school wuxia romance with incredibly competent, adult people in love and great cast of secondaries. I can't pick.

WORST DRAMA

romance of twin flower - this is a drama that should not exist. If I could hex everyone involved with it, I would. It's a terrible, stupid, shrill, badly acted drama to start with, but where it really is catapulted into stratosphere of horror is that is took my very favorite non-danmei web novel of all time, a smart and complicated tale with incredible protagonists and turned it into that barftastic abomination. Peng Xiao Ran kept making horrible drama after horrible drama but I kept giving her a chance because of Goodbye My Princess but after this disaster, I've had to accept GMP was a fluke and she is on my "if she's in it, I am out” list. Ding Yuxi is not that far yet (his performance in Seven Lifetimes was the one thing carrying that mess afloat) but he's on freaking thin ice. Anyway, I like to pretend this drama does not exist.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

It was hard because there were so many I loved this year - Deng Wei's traumatized, gentle Seventeen from LYF1 (if someone told me I'd swoon and weep for a character played by Deng Wei, I'd have told them to examine their brains asap), Liu Yuning's incredibly capable, deadly, contained Ning Yuanzhou from AJTL, Zhang Linghe's unhinged Xie Wei from SoKP, Chen Xiao's schemer with a heart Yun Xiang from TIO.

But ultimately, it couldn't be anyone else but Luo Yunxi as Tantai Jin/Demon God/Ming Ye/Cang Jiumin in Till the End of the Moon. He was everything - a demon, a saint, a martyr, a monster, a tormented abuse victim, a savior, joyful, unhinged, smart, pitiable. It was the cdrama performance of the year for me. Luo Yunxi even in a mediocre role is impressive but in a complex (series of) role(s) designed for his strengths, he is a force of nature.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever Part 1). Once again, there were runner ups - Bai Lu's smart a little evil FL in Kunning, the gloriously unhinged assassin domme Liu Shi Shi in AJTL, Esther Yu's assassin longing for a different life in MJTY etc etc etc. But Xiao Yao's damaged, difficult, very self-aware woman stole my heart. I was skeptical going in because I haven't enjoyed a Yang Zi performance in a long time, but she was the wounded beating soul of this incredible drama.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Where do we start? How about all of Seventeen's (LYF1) monster family? His brother, who tortured him for years physically and emotionally to such a degree his body is a horror map and his personality is permanently altered because "mommy liked you better." Psycho mother who created a situation where the kids were going to turn on each other and "let's get my grandson raped" grandma. Where is a well-placed meteorite when you need one.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xiao Yao/Seventeen, LYF1. Yes, a ship of characters played by Yang Zi and Deng Wei is my favorite. Leave me alone, I am on my tenth helping of crow already. They are both incredibly damaged, barely functioning survivors who find what they need in the other - he finds a savior and someone who sees him as a man and rebuilds himself around her and she finds someone who will always put her first and only, and subsume himself in her. Is it healthy? No. Does it make sense for them and is it making them slowly functional? Yes.

Runner up: Ren Ruyi/Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL - two adults, so competent, so chemistry full. She has so much damage and so little normalcy but is so strong and he is oddly gentle (in between murders) and incredibly self-reflective. They are each other's mirrors and I love them.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Su Mingyu/Ke Menglan, The Ingenious One - the idealistic merchant who wants to join jianghu until he sees its horrors firsthand and a slave entertainer who wants security but decides she wants him more. They are gorgeous and glorious and wholesome and I adore them.

Runner up: Liu Gong Quan/Ming Zhu, The Ingenious One - that drama was a shippy gift, especially impressive considering it wasn't even romance-centric. He's the officer who has to bring down her treasonous father but loves her. Delicious.

Another runner up is Chao Feng/Qian Kui, the angelic good girl and the scheming bad boy in The Starry Love. They stole the drama from the main OTP for me.

NOTP

Scent of Time endgame. What the hell was even that. It made NO sense.

FAVORITE SCENE

So many good scenes this year - Tantai Jin taking apart Li Susu in prison in TTEOTM, the OTP fighting in perfect sync and insane rhythm in the gorge battle in AJTL, Chen Ruoxuan's character stopping the execution in Pledge, Yan Lin's coming of age in Kunning, the poison/antidote "gamble" in MJTY, Cang Xuan detoxing in LYF1. But I think ultimately, me being who I am, my favorite scene is Xiao Yao kissing Seventeen's damaged, scarred knee to show he is in no way inferior for her. AAAAA!

In terms of pure jaw dropping visuals tho nothing will ever beat Ming Ye’s battle against the Devil God in TTEOTM.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL. He's sexy as hell (that height, that way he moves in battle) but he's also so incredibly competent, so adult, so self-reflective and so attracted to a woman for her strength. He also gets whumped on the reg. Anyway, my hormones are ready.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You) - I loved the unhinged, brocon poison boy. He was everything. Also Yan Lin (Kunning) - talk about sunshine; I totally got why all these people felt they needed to save him.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

My Journey to You - what the HELL was that ending?

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

legend of twin flower - that is, stab it with scissors like it stabbed the novel until it's dead.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Till the End of the Moon - they clearly cut stuff to fit into the new regs about runtime and it made the last 1/5 rather abrupt. Gimme!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

The emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country!

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

This is the year of a ML who yearns to be dommed by his FL. Long may it continue.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

The Legend of Anle - the novel had a great plot, the cast were all actors I either enjoy a lot or somewhat and we got - whatever that soggy piece of wonderbread toast was.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

LYF1 - I only checked out to mock because nobody could explain the story to me and nobody in the cast did anything I like either ever or in years. And then I fell utterly and completely in love and had to eat so much delicious crow.

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

Ancient Love Song is the only one on that list. It looks really good, I just need to brace myself.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

The Imperial Doctoress - best slowburn and pining and glorious character development and adult leads.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Anticipating any nonaired cdrama is a mug's game but if they air, I will definitely check out all the Fox Matchmaker dramas, LYF2, JoL2 and The Last Immortal. If Prisoner of Beauty ever is allowed out of the vault (dubious), it goes on the list too.

#cdrama #lost you forever #a journey to love #till the end of the moon #my journey to you #choice husband #provoke #the starry love #the ingenious one #wonderland of love #story of kunning palace #gone with the rain

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adamworu · 1 year

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‘When’s the White Haired Anime Boy Going to Appear?’

For awhile, I often wondered about the phenomena of ‘When is the white-haired anime boy going to appear?’ posts during the heyday of Eva content on tumblr (2013-14). If you were around the Eva fandom on tumblr, or new to the show around that time like I was, you were probably bewildered too. It’s part of what got me into the show other than the character struggles and interesting worldbuilding.

Sure, you could chalk it up to people wanting to see more of Kaworu’s cute, but awkward mannerisms coupled with cryptic, though nonthreatening words. The bath scene of episode 24 is heavily quotable. There was also the influx of ‘headless’ memes (see: Pop Goes My Heart!).

But Eva was watched during many people’s adolescent years. High and low years. Critical years.

Evangelion itself is no stranger to struggles in formative years.

(talks about abuse under the cut)

I’ve always read Shinji as an audience surrogate because of how he’s at the center of these issues. Many of us have a Gendo: We hate them, yet we seek their validation, because unfortunately, they’re all we have. And yet they’re so emotionally cold and self-serving.

Much of the series sees Shinji in less than optimal environments. His father is cold and distant. While Misato takes him in, she also makes him (and Asuka) fight angels due to her issues with her own father. Shinji and Asuka’s relationship within the household isn’t the greatest, either. They’re both emotionally damaged kids who can’t really properly sort through the baggage due to their environment. They’re mainly shouldering the burden of adult issues during their early teen years.

They’re face to face with the open horrors of war.

Kaworu comes in toward the tail end of the series. He asks nothing of Shinji but the narrative hardly portrays him as the sudden, immaculate savior. They get to know each other, and due to his deep traumas, Shinji is of course wary because being open means getting hurt again. So he puts his guard up. The more they interact, the more they both get to know each other.

‘Why am I telling all this to Kaworu?’

This is less of a wariness of who Kaworu is and more of Shinji realizing he spilled part of his heart about his strained relationship with his father. Shinji realizes that he feels open, but not vulnerable. Kaworu feels the same way, replying to Shinji’s answers with ‘I think I may have been born to meet you, Shinji-kun.’

I sound like a broken record saying this but, Kaworu isn’t just his own person. He represents an ideal. This is a point I’m totally partisan to. That tinges of kindness can and do exist, even when one’s world is hell.

On that end, I believe that, at least in the original series, that Hikari is Asuka’s Kaworu. Asuka’s guarded persona manifests as being proud and somewhat brash, but it’s a product of neglect. This worsens when she comes to understand in her environment that her accomplishments mean next to nothing. That she’s replaceable.

The adults in Eva, even the adults of the adults get away with murder and seeing that as a victim of abuse drives a visceral rage I haven’t felt in years. And I’m sure this ire, this rising embitterment stirs in you too, if you ever lived in such an environment.

A lot of us were forced to wade through toxic environments for years while growing up. Had our share of bad relationships that still leave marks to this day. A lot of us are victims chasing the closure that will sadly, never come because many of the people who hurt you walk away when they have much to answer for. Even if they do answer, is there any guarantee that they’ll be genuine?

When Shinji is with Kaworu and when Asuka is around Hikari they’re far less guarded. For the latter, we see a side of Asuka not seen before: one that’s tender. One that doesn’t feel burdened and otherwise ignored.

And that too, could describe that someone in our lives. The world doesn’t feel as daunting. You realize your worth and that you can be yourself when you’re around them. The barriers come down slowly and you stop saying sorry. You don’t feel as if they’re demanding that that happens. It simply just. Does. The people you hate or ignore your grievances seem insignificant in your life, even if for a moment.

When we ask ‘When’s the white haired anime boy going to appear?’ what we actually mean is ‘When is our support system going to appear?’

I know that one day you will find your Kaworu. You deserve better than an apology. You deserve peace.

#neon genesis evangelion #kawoshin #kaworu #shinji #shinkawo #abuse mention #correct me if i'm wrong #happy shinkawo day

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autismvampyre · 5 days

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this episode made me love kipperlilly

i think it is very important to remember that kipperlilly copperkettle is a child. she's 16 years old and being manipulated by an authority figure who she should've been able to trust

yes, she was angry and jealous and immature before allying with ankarna. but she was also a 14 year old girl with anger issues

as a person who has had anger issues my whole life and was very violent as a child, i fully feel for kipperlilly. i was literally the worst version of myself when i was 14. i was rude and mean and had shitty opinions and i hurt people. i was truly awful, like genuinely bigoted and just hateful. i'm still trying to forgive myself for some of the things i did because it wasn't fucking okay.

i got out of that headspace thanks to my friends, and i ended up losing a lot of them along the way, deservedly so. im 18 now, im better and still bettering myself, and i cannot in good conscience hate kipperlilly any more than i can hate my young self

she's a kid. she's an angry little girl who instead of getting the support and help she needed to be able to better herself(bc jawbone is not able to treat her like she deserves), she was tricked and presumably killed by jace stardiamond so that he could use her to resurrect a dead rage god. she has done truly terrible things but she is a child and isn't irredeemable.

i honestly didn't see myself in her before, because our expressions of rage are completely different(hers is more passive aggressive, im more loud and outright aggressive), but this episode made her on of my favorite npcs ever.

she's a kid, and she's wrong and immature and a total asshole who thinks she's so fucking righteous standing on her stupid fucking high horse claiming "fairness" and all that bullshit. she's so realistic and awful and i know that makes her worse to most people but to me it just makes me think of another shitty teenager who was just as bad(minus a few murders) and 100% convinced she was righteous and justified in all her horrible actions.

i love kipperlilly, and i have faith in her. if there was a chance for me there's a chance for her, and when that chance presents itself i hope she takes it

#kipperlilly copperkettle #dimension 20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #d20 fhjy #d20 spoilers #d20 fantasy high #nydias post #fantasy high #jace stardiamond #ankarna #the rat grinders #postig again bc it didn't show up in the tags

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vargamornight · 1 month

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angel and spike's relationship and their eligibility for the shanshu prophecy have got my brain on puree and i'm tossing episodes in one at a time

when spike was first turned, immortality was a gift. he could live forever! the first goddamn thing he did was go to his mother and turn her. he told dru the three of them can travel the world together! it didn’t go well, but that was okay, because he still had dru, and she was his everything. she was his whole world, his sire, the woman who gave him life. she was his destiny. spike-as-william was perfectly content to just live with drusilla, and angel and darla, because he loved dru, and she loved them. they were family, they were his home, and that was all he ever wanted. just somewhere to belong.

and that pissed angelus right the fuck off. angelus, whose first act as a vampire was to kill his father, whose love for darla was more like rage, who took every opportunity to slaughter and bathe in the blood of innocents, could not fucking stand that this guy was just like "hahaha that was so funny when you killed that guy. anyway, i think i'm just gonna go hang out with dru." angelus didn’t want love, or peace, or contentment. he wanted to rip heads off of shoulders, eat babies, and rape teenaged girls. seeing spike so well adjusted made him genuinely angry, so he did something that he knew would ruffle spike's calm: he slept with dru.

ever since then, they've hated each other. angel literally started it, but neither of them was ever particularly kind about their retaliation. angel tortured spike emotionally and psychologically for like a hundred years, and spike had angel physically tortured for like, three whole hours for information, plus spike definitely went after buffy (in more ways than one) just to piss off angel. but even without a soul, spike was never anywhere near as bad as angel. not even close.

so angel gets a soul. it's an enormous burden, because of how much of a shitstain he's been for the past 150 years or whatever, and he suddenly is capable of guilt again. it's a curse.

(but then he sees a 14 year old girl, the one girl in the world who might put him out of his misery, and he, a 27-slash-200 year old man, literally immediately decides he's in love with that 14 year old girl. okay dude. sure.)

angel becomes a good guy and joins the fight against evil, instead of just eating rats and not dying, because he wants the girl to like him. she does, they bang, he loses his soul again, tortures her psychologically, kills some people, gets sent to a hell dimension, gets out, and leaves. honestly, can't blame him for that one.

angel leaves buffy voluntarily so that he won't/can't hurt her by being a shitstain without a soul again.

and then there's spike. spike basically just noodles around, delivering threatening monologues from rooftops while watching one protagonist or another, and it's very cool and scary until it's time for the dastardly plan to kick in, at which point everything immediately falls apart like a cartoon car with no bolts, leaving spike blinking comically, holding a steering wheel and sitting on air. spike refers to angel as a drama queen several times, and he's not wrong, but he is very hypocritical.

spike gets to sunnydale and goes after buffy for fun, fails terribly, then succeeds at kidnapping angel, who he needs because dru, the light of his life, his moon and stars, his effulgent beauty, his destiny, is not feeling well and he needs the blood of her sire to heal her. that's it. no real ulterior motive, no "i'm gonna getcha" threats, just. business. his wife is sick and he's getting her magical chicken noodle soup. it just so happens that the chicken in said soup is angel, and spike has no problem with that.

then he continues noodling around, tortures angel about a ring, fails terribly, goes back to sunnydale, and immediately gets caught and collared by the literally underground military group operating out of a california college campus. and then he can't hurt humans anymore without getting a migraine, and he's the world's biggest baby, so he is effectively neutered from here on out.

gradually, he learns to be less of a shithead, and falls for buffy the real way, the long way, the hard way—he sees her, and he knows her, and he learns to respect and love her. he is dogged in his pursuit of her. relentless. because even when she tells him to back off, she kisses him right after. she's putting on a show for the benefit of her own pride, and he knows that, and he understands, because he believes it when she says he's beneath her. he knows it. he's not good enough for her, and he never could be.

but he could be better.

so he leaves. he goes and gets his soul back. he fights tooth and nail to get it, almost dying several times in the process. because he's not being cursed with a soul—he's earning his. he's proving, once and for all, to himself, to angel, to buffy, to everyone, that he is better than what everyone thought he could ever be.

and, just in case anyone had any doubt, he goes back to sunnydale and he does the one thing angel could never do: he gives his life to save the goddamn world. burns up, knowing he's leaving buffy behind, knowing there's no coming back from this. knowing, ultimately, this is the only thing worth doing. he dies, not for buffy, but because it's the right thing to do.

and that pisses angel off, too.

he's like, why the fuck should it be so easy for him? all he has to do is die and now suddenly he's a hero? a champion? angel's spent a thousand years suffering! that has to be worth more! that has to mean he's the better man! because if he's not, if spike can be weighed against angel and find a balanced scale, then he suffered for nothing! and spike barely suffered at all! (factually untrue, but angel doesn't exactly see clearly when it comes to his protege) so, no. he does not keep his cool when it turns out spike is eligible for the shanshu prophecy just as much as angel

and the reason for all of angel's dumbfuck behavior is made all too clear when he tries to convince spike not to claim the shanshu prophecy for himself: "it's a burden. a cross. you have to live."

diagnosis: terminal catholicism

angel is catholic and spike is not and that's why all of this happened the way it did.

p.s. also: SPIKE WITH A SOUL WAS NOT A DIFFERENT MAN THAN THE SPIKE WITHOUT A SOUL WHO LEARNED TO BE GOOD. he put the fucking work in, he just needed it to be official. like a high school diploma. "went through hell and here's the proof."

p.p.s. also: the initial angelus getting mad was because angelus totally wanted to fuck spike, took him on a date, and spike bailed to hang out with dru, so angelus had revenge sex with dru. canon.

#btvs #angel the series #spike btvs #angel btvs #spuffy #spangel

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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 7 months

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I like to think about the Goldenheart boys got together because as we know they've known each other since they were little

I imagine for the movie boys it followed the classic "This is my best friend. I have a massive crush on him but we are just gonna ~ignore that~ because I kinda have to be perfect because Legacy of Gloreth/I have been on thin fucking ice when I showed up" story

And they grew up and those feelings didn't go away, they just ignored them. They both dated other people as teens (Ambrosius dated a squire girl, Bal dated some ruffian from his hometown) but neither relationship lasted more than a few months. Then at like, 18/19 they were so damn whipped and infatuated with each other that it just kinda happened all at once. Ambrosius approached Bal absolutely terrified because if this doesn't work out he is going to lose his Best Friend his World his Everything, but of course, it immediately does. I hc that the Institute and their family/friends knew about them but the media did not. I also hc that they are closer in age than the comic boys, with Bal being just like a year or less older.

The comic boys I picture something funnier. I can imagine Bal getting dumped at the Institute by his dad and this pathetic little blond kid is getting picked on so Bal, full of rage and abandonment, just beats the shit out of the bullies to establish dominance in the social order of these children and also to stop the bullying.

Ambrosius (who is like. 8??) Immediately had the biggest baby crush imaginable and decides that he is going to tether himself to this person until the day he dies. I imagine their age difference is much more than in the movie, like 2.5ish years, so obviously this 10 year old is not interested in the baby following him around but he'll be friends with him because everyone else is scared of him. He protects him and looks out for him and he thinks he's cute in the way that all children see a child like 6 months younger than them as practically an infant.

They're little pals for the rest of their adolescence with Ambrosius not being subtle about his crush and Ballister assuming it will pass because he's just a little kid. It isn't until they're 14/16 that Ballister starts actually respecting Ambrosius and realizing that oh shit. I'm not a little kid anymore and neither is he. They don't actually start dating at any specific point, but around this time they start kissing and lying to themselves that this is a Normal Friend Activity. Around this time also, the fact that they cuddle at night and share a bed is starting to feel a bit more awkward.

They kiss, hold hands, cuddle and share a bed, but are in complete denial that they've got anything more than friendship going on for like 2 years when they sleep together and are like. Well shit. Homies don't do that, do they?

Ambrosius who has been influenced by regressive ideals is sad that they weren't technically "together" when they first slept together and it makes him feel bad about himself. Ballister then makes up a fake anniversary of a couple months prior and gaslights (j) Ambrosius into believing that's when they got together like "nah remember we went out for coffee that one time that was our first date you didn't know that lol"

Ambrosius kinda knows this is a crock of shit but it makes him happy so he goes along with it.

#goldenheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #nimona #nimona graphic novel #nimona 2023 #every important date in Amb's life was just made up by Ballister istg #they are all four of them disasters

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chuuyaandreaderkilldazai · 12 days

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Ranking JJK Characters I Don't Like

Ranging from mild dislike (14) to LOATHE WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BEING (1).

14. Mai: I don't hate her. I sympathize with her. I just wish she wasn't the way she is.

13. Junpei: I do have compassion for him, but ... school shooter vibes. Not a fan.

12. Noritoshi: Bad vibes.

11. Toji: Bad dad. And he's so nosy, too. Why does he always insert himself into situations with his fists swinging? Actually, now that I think about it, that's kind of iconic behavior. But all it ever really did was create more problems. If he had never inserted himself into the plot, Geto would have probably never turned mass-murderer-cult-leader--WE COULD HAVE HAD EVERYTHING. So it's a pass for me. Also, his haircut is off-putting for reasons I cannot articulate. It's like one day in middle school he got a haircut and just never changed up the style ever again.

10. Jogo: Ugly.

9. Uraume: Character design: slay. Helping Sukuna: not slay.

8. Like every adult from the Zenin clan: BECAUSE THEY SUCK.

7. Tengen: Old and entitled.

6. Kenjaku: Old and entitled part two. What gives him the right?

5. Sukuna: Horrid, nasty man. I feel like I shouldn't have to elaborate.

4. Ui Ui: Annoying. Literally, why are you even here?

3. Mei Mei: First of all, how am I supposed to take you seriously with that stupid braid hanging in front of your face? From the very instant her character was introduced, I did not like her, but I thought maybe I was being a woman hater for no reason, so I really did try to tolerate her. But when we finally saw that scene in season two. PRISON!!! I was right. She's the worst. We are not gonna ignore that. Check her files.

2. That thing with the blond side ponytail: I hate him so much I don't even know his name. I don't care to know it. I would say why do you as a man look like that, but honestly why do you as a HUMAN BEING look like that? Why do you act like that? Why are you skipping around wearing a poorly made DIY toga? Whole nip is hanging out, and no one asked to see that. Why are you HOLDING HANDS with your blade? Freak. There is something so intrinsically, inherently, ONTOLOGICALLY wrong with him, you can't even blame it on childhood trauma or a personality disorder. The only time I ever supported Sukuna was when he bullied this emaciated Jo Jo Siwa lookin' thing in Shibuya.

Mahito: I hate him so much. I hate him more than I've ever hated any character. I actually lose the ability to speak coherently when I think about him because I hate him so much. I think it's so cringe when try-hard dudes say, "When I'm angry all I see is red." But when I think about Mahito it really is like blood and pure rage cloud my vision. He is literally the embodiment of if you gave an edge lord psychopathic eleven year old the power to kill people. "Wee, I'm so powerful and killing people is just SoooOoOoOoOOOo much fun!!" SHUT UP!!!!!!!! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE NOT CUTE. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL IN ANY WAY. He is genuinely the most irritating character I have ever come across. And as the story progresses, he just gets worse. What do you mean he can duplicate himself? Now we have to deal with TWO of this wretched creature? What do you mean he can be decapitated AND HIS HEAD WILL SPROUT LIMBS AND SPRINT AWAY? STOOOOOOOOOP. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED TO NANAMI--I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. Mahito is such a nasty, slithy, bothersome, despicable, nauseating little cockroach. "Yuji, you and I are the same." Huh? You thought you did something there, didn't you? You thought you ate and came up with some kind of deep, revolutionary concept? It's giving pretentious philosophy dude who thinks he's superior for being a little contrarian, nihilistic Nietzsche butt licker. When Yuji finally humbled him, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the fear in his eyes. For one brief, fleeting moment, I could finally understand what sadists must feel like. Honestly, we deserved to watch him suffer, and I wish he would have suffered far more for far longer. Rot in anguish, Mahito. You will not be missed nor forgiven.

#long time no see #life been lifing #i need surgery :(#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #mai zenin #junpei yoshino #noritoshi kamo #toji fushiguro #jogo #uruame #tengen jjk #kenjaku #ryomen sukuna #ui ui #mei mei #mahito #hater

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scary-grace · 5 months

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Love Like Ghosts (Chapter 19) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside-down world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21

Chapter 19

You pitch forward, but Tomura’s there to catch you, and for a moment, everything’s right where it should be. You’re home. You didn’t leave him. He won’t let you fall. For a single split second, you let yourself believe things will be okay. Then one of Tomura’s hands brushes over an open wound and you cry out. When he pulls his hand back, his palm is shiny with blood. Tomura looks at his hand, then looks at you, and you see his eyes widen – first in horror, then in rage.

“You thought I’d blame them?” he asks his conjurer. “You think I’m weak. You thought I was stupid, too? You’re the one who tried to take my human away.”

He’s trying to put his arm around you, but you’re bloody from shoulder to knee. There’s next to nowhere he can touch that won’t hurt you, and with every second that passes, his anger grows, until he’s practically vibrating with fury. “I wouldn’t dream of taking your human from you,” Shigaraki says to Tomura. “On the contrary, I want to ensure that you keep her forever – without having to make any unnecessary changes to yourself!”

“What?”

Tomura sounds baffled. “Nomu,” you mumble. You seize the hand that’s been searching for a place to hold you and press it to your cheek. “He wants to make me a Nomu.”

“Think about it,” Tomura’s conjurer says. “As a Nomu, she’d be much less breakable. Much less mortal, too. All that effort you’ve put in to understand her – this way, she’d understand you. The process was nearly complete when she left to return to you.”

“Escaped.”

“It wouldn’t take much,” the conjurer says, like you didn’t speak at all. He’s coming closer. “It could be done in a matter of hours. If you wish it.”

“If I wish it,” Tomura repeats. Your blood turns to ice.

“Of course,” the conjurer says. “As I said, I’ve neglected you all these years. I’ll do what I must to make it right.”

Tomura’s thinking about it. Is he thinking about it? You don’t know. “You idiot,” Dabi shouts. “She wouldn’t be your human anymore. She’d be something else, and he’d own her just like he owns you!”

“Look what’s been done to her,” Shirakumo says, his voice low and quiet. “I know what it’s like. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

“Do you truly believe they have your best interests at heart, Tomura?” Shigaraki asks. “They’ll do anything to keep you trapped here, using your power for their own protection. You’ll be a slave to their fear forever. I’m offering you freedom.”

“At a cost.”

It’s Aizawa’s voice. He’s the only human who’s spoken up since you crossed the property line, and he speaks again, his voice perfectly calm. Not to the conjurer. To Tomura. “It comes at a cost,” he says again. “Neither you nor he will be the one to pay it.”

You still have Tomura’s hand pressed against your cheek. He looks at you, then at his other hand, smeared with your blood. You see fury flash in his eyes. Then he turns away, putting his back to the street, pulling you with him. “Spinner,” he says, and Spinner hurries forward. Tomura shifts you from leaning against him to leaning against Spinner. “I need both hands to clear this level.”

He’s not going to give you to his conjurer. He was never going to. Spinner ushers you away, pulling you over to where the noncombatants seem to be huddled – Himiko, Eri, Jin’s youngers siblings. Tomura, meanwhile, materializes fully, cutting off his conjurer’s access to the world between as he starts down the steps. “You were gone too long, Master,” he says. “There’s nothing you have that I want.”

“Yes, come here. Let me see you. I – ugh.” The conjurer makes a disgusted noise. “Now I see where my brother’s spirit went after it ceased to trouble me. You look like him. I’m aware you can’t control how you look when you embody yourself, but – forgive me. It’s quite frustrating.”

“I don’t care who you think I look like.” Tomura stops at the edge of the yard, just prior to the gate. “I’m pretty. My human said so.”

He sounds so proud of himself, and your heart leaps. Even the fact that half your neighborhood is laughing semi-hysterically doesn’t check your joy. You twist in Spinner’s arms, catching a glimpse of the conjurer standing on the opposite side of the gate. He looks horrible. Whatever energy the bracelet released when it broke, it looked like it scalded him, or boiled him, peeling back his skin until his face is nearly devoid of features. He’s looking at Tomura blankly, completely nonplussed. He looks like he doesn’t know what to do.

Finally he clears his throat and speaks again. “You’re quite possibly the most powerful being in this world. Is this – protecting this single neighborhood, and that particular human – truly all you intend to do with it? Is that the extent of your will?”

“No. This is.” Tomura crouches, sets his hands on the ground, and your fence blows apart for the third time this year.

That’s not all that happens. The ground shakes. You feel everything around you ripple and shift, and you hear Dabi swear loudly. Eri and Himiko are both cheering. You look around for answers and find Spinner staring, slack-jawed. “He said he could. I didn’t think he’d actually do it –”

“Do what?”

“Expand the boundaries of his power by force.” Aizawa’s got his gun. “His spirit is still tied to the property, but the entire neighborhood is now within reach of his abilities.”

“That means he can do more to all of them,” Shinsou says. He’s hunkered down with the other kids, but he doesn’t look like he likes it. “Except it means it’s easier for them to get to us, too.”

Jin’s mom steps out of your house. She’s holding a baseball bat and her expression is grim. “Go inside,” she tells her children, and most of them get up and hurry through the door. She looks at you. “Look after them. We’ll do the rest.”

You want to say that you’ll fight, too, but you can barely stand. There’s no way you’ll be anything but a liability. “I can fight,” Himiko protests.

“Me, too!” Shinsou gets to his feet. “We’re way outnumbered. You need us! We can help.”

Aizawa and Jin’s mom trade a glance. “Fine,” Aizawa says. “Himiko, back up Dabi. Shinsou, back up Shirakumo. Don’t engage anyone on your own. Understood?”

Himiko nods and takes off, pulling a knife out of absolutely nowhere. Shinsou casts about for a weapon, picks up a shovel that’s leaning against the house, and takes off, too. With nothing else to do, and Aizawa and Jin’s mom already taking up defensive positions in the yard, you herd Jin’s remaining siblings into the house. Eri’s already inside. She’s in Phantom’s crate, with Phantom. Phantom is whining, a low, continuous sound of distress, but when she spots you, she rockets to her feet, trampling Eri in an effort to get to you. You sink down to the floor, trying to greet her without getting any of your wounds stepped on.

From outside the window, you hear the conjurer’s voice. “Remarkable work, Tomura! But you don’t need to be so gentle with the use of your power.”

“Don’t worry.” Tomura’s voice is flat and icy. “I won’t be gentle on you at all.”

The air temperature plummets, inside the house and outside of it, and you hear the first set of screams rise. You’re seized with a desperation to see the fight, to see Tomura and make sure he’s okay, but you’ve got the kids and Phantom you’re responsible for. You rack your brains, trying to think of where the safest place to hide them will be. Finally you settle on the corner of the room, along the same wall as the front window. No one who peers in will be able to see them easily, and it’s a straight shot from here through the kitchen to the back door in case you need to get out in a hurry. Jin’s siblings, usually raucous, are quiet and scared. Eri’s the most agitated of the group, so you put her in charge of Phantom to give her something to do. And then you drag yourself across the floor again so you can peer out the window.

It looks like someone’s unleashed hell. The scene is eerily lit with flashes of blue fire, and you can see wisps of essence drifting through the air. Too many of them. At least two ghosts are already dead.

You search the battlefield, picking out every live ghost or ghost-adjacent on your side – Shirakumo, Natsu, Nemuri, Dabi, Tomura. They’re all here, although in Tomura’s case, here is a relative term. He’s almost fully materialized, but not quite. That’s not good. He needs to materialize fully if he wants to cut off his conjurer’s access to his power. Does he need to be dematerialized to access his own power? You should have asked, or somebody should have. If he can’t fight –

But he can fight. A ghost comes within reach and Tomura seizes them, blows them apart, adding more shreds of essence to the icy breeze. The next opponent is an embodied ghost. Tomura hits them hard enough to cave in their chest, then tosses them away. He didn’t drain them, even though draining them would have been faster. Why?

“He can’t,” Eri says quietly. “He wants to be like us. If he drains somebody he will be.”

And if he does, his conjurer will kill you all. The others are holding their own in the fight, but when you watch Tomura carefully, you realize that he’s stepping in to save them when they get in over their heads. That’s why he’s not fully materialized. When he’s incorporeal, his reach is longer. He can get to the others before they even know they’re in danger. “Knock it off,” Dabi snaps. “Quit stealing my kills.”

“Be faster, then.” Invisible hands grab Dabi’s current opponent, yank them backwards off their feet, and smash them face-first into the ground. It must be a live ghost, because they explode into a cloud of essence, and they don’t come back. “I’ll do this by myself if I have to.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to,” Hizashi hollers from somewhere out of sight. You can’t see him, but you see dark liquid spray up, and you decide not to think too hard about what it is. “Focus on your own fight! He’s – fuck! Nem, watch out!”

You don’t see what happens, but you see Nemuri sprint through your field of vision, clearly in full retreat. “Quit screwing around! Do it now!”

Tomura materializes fully. You always know when he’s done it, because you always see him stagger slightly when his feet hit the ground. Shigaraki tsks from somewhere nearby. “You think that will save you? Why do you think I brought so many of my friends?” he asks. You feel the ground shake, once and then again. “You can access the world between even while wearing that weak form. Show me what you’re capable of!”

The thing that appears from the shadows is enormous. You’re not sure if it’s a Nomu or just another ghost, but it towers over the rest of them, dwarfing Tomura so badly that he looks like a child’s plaything compared to it. You watch Tomura brace himself, hands outstretched to make contact, but the thing swats his hands aside. Then it seizes him around the waist and clenches its hand into a fist.

You scream in horror. You can’t help it when you see the spray of blood that exits Tomura’s mouth, the way his head falls back, eyes blank and bloody, features gone slack. The monster squeezes harder, then gives a vicious shake, and you swear you can hear his neck snap. Tomura might be the one crushed to death in the monster’s grip, but you’re struggling to breathe. “Tomura –”

Improbably, agonizingly, his head turns in the direction of your voice. Then he dematerializes, leaving the monster with an empty, bloodstained hand.

“He’s okay,” Eri whispers to you, but you don’t believe her. Tomura materializes fully again, just out of reach of the monster, but he looks shaken. You’ve never seen him look like that before. “See, he’s okay! He’s –”

This time, Tomura dodges one of the giant’s hands only to get grabbed by the other. It seizes him with the other hand, too. Then it tears him in half.

He can feel things when he’s materialized. You know that. Some things feel good and some things feel bad, and as you watch the monster destroy his physical form again and again, you’re sick with horror at how much it must hurt. You watch him die three times, five times, twelve times, his limbs torn off, his skull crushed, his body mangled beyond repair. Every time he materializes again whole, he looks worse. Not marked by what’s happened before. Tortured by it, haunted by it, until the monster seizes him and it begins again.

You can’t look away. Some part of you feels like you owe it to him not to. If you can’t help, if all you can do is sit and watch, at least you can let him know you’re here.

The monster throws him to the ground and stomps on him until his body disintegrates into a puddle of tissue and shattered bones, and he doesn’t reappear quickly. Second after second ticks past without him materializing again. Then a familiar rush of cold comes over you, and when you look away from the window, you find Tomura crouched beneath it.

He looks awful, sick and sweaty and pale, and when you reach for him, you can feel how badly he’s shaking. You pull him into your arms and hold on tight, ignoring the bright flare of pain from your wounds when he slumps against you, when he hugs you back even harder. There’s no time for a kiss. There’s not even time to speak. Just a split second of contact that leaves your skin damp with his cold sweat and his shirt stained with your blood, before he dematerializes and reappears outside the house.

The giant swings for him again, but this time it misses – and it misses its second swing, too. Tomura’s gotten his feet under him, and he’s moving faster than he was before, so fast that your eyes can’t track him. It makes your head hurt to try. You squeeze your eyes shut for a split second, only for them to fly open when you hear the sound of glass shattering right next to your head. You open your eyes and find an embodied ghost leering down at you.

You struggle to your feet, trying to stay between the ghost and the kids, trying to figure out how permanent the embodiment is. You strike out towards his face and see him flinch – but he doesn’t blink. Fully embodied, which means you don’t have to worry about being drained, which means you need to fight. You’re not a good fighter by any means, and you’re worse now, courtesy of every other horrible thing that’s happened today. When the ghost strikes at you, you’re too slow to dodge, and he knocks you sprawling across the floor.

You have to get up. The kids. You have to get up so you can protect the kids, but when you try to rise, the ghost kicks you in the ribs and knocks you back again. “Go on,” he says, leering down at you. “Call for help. Call him.”

You seal your mouth shut. If you didn’t scream for Tomura to save you while his conjurer was torturing you, there’s no way you’re going to do it here. The ghost draws his foot back to kick again, only to yelp and stagger as Phantom bites down hard on his other ankle, shaking and snarling until he loses his footing. She’s not the only one trying to help. Eri’s hitting the ghost in every spot she can reach, her tiny fists balled up and her face twisted with rage.

“No!” she shouts. One of her blows catches the ghost in the groin and he nearly falls. That’s your opening. You crawl across the floor, heading for the fireplace and the fire poker hanging from a hook on the wall. “No! You’re not supposed to be here! Go away!”

Her voice rises to a shriek, and you hear an odd, strangled sound. You twist around and freeze, struggling to grasp what you’re seeing. The ghost is – shrinking. From an adult to a teenager to a child to an infant, and finally to nothing, vanishing out of Eri’s grip completely. Eri looks surprised, then pleased with herself. “I didn’t know I could still do that!”

She scrambles across the floor to you and starts patting your head. “It’s okay! I got him! You don’t need that.”

You grab the fire poker anyway, your mind still reeling. “Is that how you – got people before?”

Eri nods importantly. Then her eyes brighten. “I have to go!” she announces, and before you can stop her, she bolts out the front door. “Tomura! I have something for you!”

You want to tell her not to distract him, but then he crashes through the porch roof, sprawled out with wooden spars protruding from his torso, his shoulder, his mouth. He dematerializes, then reappears, and Eri seizes one of his hands. “Here!” she says, and you see something pass from her hand to his. “I helped! Go!”

Tomura nods in thanks and disappears off the porch at lightning speed, while you pour all your energy into getting ahold of Eri and pulling her back inside. Eri goes willingly. “I have to tell Himiko,” she says, squeezing her eyes shut. “Maybe she can do it too.”

You vaguely remember Hizashi saying something about how Eri had massive untapped powers as a ghost. Somehow she figured out a way to pass off a human-sized dose of life-force to Tomura without requiring him to drain anybody, and when you peer out the broken window, you see Hizashi dart past the giant as it pursues Tomura, slapping Tomura in the back of the head on the way. Tomura turns to snarl at him, but when he steps back out of the giant’s range, he’s notably faster. Hizashi can still drain people, maybe. But there’s another live ghost in the equation who can do the same, and Nemuri dips in next, tapping Tomura’s shoulder before dematerializing.

You don’t see where she goes, but the giant staggers, howling in pain. You look to Eri, wondering if she knows. “He’s a Nomu,” she says by way of explanation. “She’s in his heart.”

You remember what Rumi did to the conjurer’s henchman she caught and feel like you’re going to be sick. The giant reaches into its own chest, trying to remove Nemuri, and blood oozes out, spattering the grass, the fence, everyone fighting in the yard and on the street. It stumbles, then stumbles again, and its shadow falls over your house.

If it falls on you, you’re all dead. “Get out of there!” Aizawa shouts. You yell for the kids, grab Phantom, and bolt into the yard once the others are out.

Nemuri and Tomura have gone from trying to kill the giant to trying to stop it from crushing the house, and the two Nomu jump in to help. For a second you’re confused about why they’d want to protect the house at all, but then you remember that even with extending his power over the neighborhood, Tomura’s still strongest inside the property line. If the house is destroyed, there’s nothing at all to stop the conjurer from coming through.

Where is the conjurer, anyway? A chill that’s got nothing to do with the high concentration of ghosts in the area runs down your spine. You turn just in time to see the conjurer step through your front gate.

Aizawa spots him, shoots him, his aim solid even with one eye. But Tomura’s incorporeal, pushing the boundaries of his power to try to contain the falling giant, which means the conjurer shrugs off the shot like it’s nothing. Then he slips into the crowd, weaving in between the combatants, making it impossible for Aizawa to shoot him without the risk of hitting someone on your side. Aizawa snarls, turns to deal with another opponent, and you set off.

You take the kids to hide. There aren’t very many good places to hide, but anywhere the giant isn’t is a good place to be. You find Keigo and tap his shoulder just after he’s finished knocking out an embodied ghost, leaving them easy prey for Natsu. In retrospect this wasn’t your brightest idea. He swings a crowbar at your head and almost knocks you out, checking his swing at the last minute. “Don’t do that! Why are you walking around? You should be –”

“I need you to take them and help them hide.” You gesture at the children. “In your house. I don’t know. Just get them out of here.”

Keigo stares at you. “And what are you going to do?”

“I have to get to him. The conjurer.” Your legs go weak when you think about what you’re planning to do, but you lean on the fire poker and stay on your feet. “I’m the only one he has a reason not to kill. I can get close. If I time it right –”

Keigo doesn’t need you to finish the sentence. He nods and turns to the kids. “We’re gonna cross the street and go hang out at my place, okay? Let’s go.”

Eri hesitates, but she eventually follows Keigo and Jin’s siblings. You force yourself upright, tighten your grip on the fire poker, and start off through the crowd in search of Tomura’s conjurer.

You’ll only get one strike to bring him down. It’ll have to do the job, and courtesy of Garaki, whatever inhibition you had against hitting another person with the intent to kill them is long gone. All you have to do is picture what’s happened to Tomura since Shigaraki got here, and you see red. One hit to stun him, and then as many more as it takes, until he’s dead and Tomura’s safe and this is over for good.

Shigaraki must be trying to stay hidden. With Tomura materialized for most of the fight, his conjurer’s access to the world between is cut off, which means he won’t be able to defend himself if one of the Nomus on your side comes for him. You can’t defend yourself, either. Where would you hide?

The house. The house is the best shelter there is if one isn’t worried about the giant, and the conjurer probably thinks you’re still in there. You look towards the house and spot him climbing the front steps. His back is to you. Tomura’s materialized, darting around the back of the house to evade the giant. Now’s your chance. You renew your grip on the fire poker one last time and set off at an unsteady run, ducking around fights where you’re beneath the combatants’ notice. Originally your plan was to hit him in the head, just like you did to Garaki, but as you close the distance between the two of you, you realize that you don’t have the strength or the balance for a swing. There’s a sharp point on the fire poker. That’s what you’ll use.

You remember thinking, when you were deciding how to attack Garaki, that you couldn’t stab someone. That’s changed. You make it two steps up the short staircase to the porch, lose your footing, and fall forward against the conjurer’s back, getting your makeshift spear into position just in time. Your momentum does most of the work. The fire poker stabs into the conjurer’s back, sinking in to the base of the spike. You apply the last of your strength and shove it the rest of the way, fighting the resistance of muscle and bone until you’ve run him through.

Blood gushes from the wound, soaking you all over again, and Shigaraki Akira lets out a pained grunt. It’s a much quieter sound than you’d make if you’d just been stabbed, and it’s the first sign that something’s gone wrong. The next is when the handle of the fire poker is yanked out of your grasp, pulled into the conjurer’s body. He’s pulling it through, hand over hand, until it exits his body on the other side.

You stumble, losing your footing, and fall backwards down the steps as Shigaraki Akira turns to face you, fire poker in hand. Blood is running from his mouth, but he’s smiling at you, and as you watch in terror, the wound in his chest closes completely. “Excellent try, but your timing was poor,” he says. He tosses the fire poker down the steps to clatter at your feet. “Why not try again?”

You should. Just because Tomura was incorporeal when you stabbed Shigaraki this time around doesn’t mean he will be the next time, but when you reach for the fire poker, you can’t close your fingers around it. The hard landing feels like it’s jarred some circuit loose in your brain, and you can barely move. The pain’s flooding back in, too, and suddenly you’re struck by the futility of it all. Even if you pick it up, even if you fight again, you’ve lost the element of surprise. He’s bigger and stronger than you. You don’t see how you can do anything but lose.

Shigaraki leers. “You spent all your will on one strike,” he says. He’s coming down the steps towards you. You shuffle backwards, but not fast enough. “Shimura’s farewell gift helped you escape my purpose for you before, but it won’t do so again. This won’t take but a moment.”

He reaches down and seizes you around your throat, hauling you to your knees one-handed. His other hand reaches out and snags a passing ghost, yanking them out of their embodiment in a single smooth movement. You can see the spirit twisting in his grip as his hold on you shifts, forcing your head back and your mouth open. “It’s a shame Rumi escaped. She would have suited you and Tomura better,” he says. You bite down on his fingers to no effect, and he grips your jaw tighter in response. “But this will do. Don’t struggle, now. There’s no need when you’ve given up already. Just – swallow.”

Something cold brushes your lips, then the back of your tongue, something that squirms and wriggles horrendously as it tries to escape. You raise your arms and try to pry the conjurer’s hand off your jaw, but his grip is iron, and it’s getting hard to breathe. He’s going to force the ghost down your throat, turn you into a Nomu, and you won’t be you anymore – and there’s nothing you can do. You can’t pull his hand free. You’re reduced to scratching at his knuckles as you choke on the ghost he’s trying to bind to you.

His grip on your jaw tightens past the point of pain. “Don’t struggle,” he instructs you again. “Just –”

Something plows into him from one side, moving too fast for you to track it. You sprawl out on the ground, coughing up what little essence you were forced to swallow, and the ghost he was trying to force-feed to you vanishes in a split second. You’d run if you could, too. Instead you struggle to pick your face up out of the dirt to see what’s happened to the conjurer.

The giant’s gone and Nemuri is nowhere to be found, but Tomura’s on his feet. He’s standing over the conjurer, eyes blazing but curiously blank. His shirt hangs in tatters. His blue-grey hair’s gone white. The very air around you is crackling with the evidence of his power.

The conjurer looks at him, what’s left of his mouth curving into a broad smile. “Well done, Tomura,” he says. “You’ve claimed your power at last. Dispense with the others.”

Tomura doesn’t move, but all around you, enemy ghosts and Nomus burst apart into clouds of essence, until the entire neighborhood hangs under a heavy fog. The only ghosts left are the permanently embodied ones, who promptly bolt. Tomura lets them go. The conjurer gets to his feet, grimacing slightly, but once he’s standing, he smiles for Tomura. “Now put an end to all of this,” he says. “Destroy the house.”

Tomura looks towards the house. He extends one hanz, and for a moment, you’re convinced he’ll destroy it. The conjurer’s right – it was a prison. Maybe it’s always been a prison to him, even if it was home to you. Then a vicious smile comes to Tomura’s face. He turns away from the house and seizes his conjurer by the throat. “I think I’ll destroy you.”

His conjurer doesn’t answer. That smile is still on his face, and you see Tomura’s eyes widen in surprise a moment later. He’s materialized. His conjurer has no access to the world between through him. So why is he hesitating? You see something crawling across the conjurer’s skin and blink hard as you try to get a handle on it. When you realize what it is, your stomach turns.

It’s essence. Tomura’s conjurer is covered in clouds of ghostly essence. Was he always like that? No, you would have noticed during the time he spent torturing you. You were out of it, but not enough to miss something like that. You see Tomura frown, shake his head. A wave of cold sweeps through the neighborhood, instantly coating everything in a sheen of frost and ice, but the conjurer only laughs. “You’ve already broken them. They can’t be blown apart smaller than this, and the neighborhood is full of the remains of your enemies. Even if you could destroy them, I’ll always have more.”

The scraps of essence are beginning to move, crawling over Tomura’s hand, and he draws back, revulsion on his face. The conjurer gestures, and the fog you saw hovering over the neighborhood descends. Where it touches a ghost, embodied or not, they recoil. When it touches a human, like you, the cold begins to burrow through your skin. You’ve got a lot of open wounds. It doesn’t have far to go before it hits bone.

You don’t want to scream, but as the cold begins to writhe beneath your skin, you can’t help it – and you’re not the only one. Human or Nomu or ghost, it doesn’t matter. Whether the scraps of essence trigger a response of disgust or agony, all you and the others can do is scream for it to stop, and the conjurer’s voice rises above it all. “This stops when you decide it does, Tomura. You can’t destroy me the way you wish to. Destroy the house, and I’ll let them go.”

“No, you won’t.” Tomura looks miserable. “I can see inside your head. You won’t let them go as long as you think you can control me with them. I know what you think I won’t do.”

“If you do what I ask of you, you’ll find I’m very reasonable,” Shigaraki Akira says. “I’ll have no reason to hurt them if you comply.”

But he will. Every time he thinks Tomura won’t do what he wants, he’ll hurt you all until Tomura bows to his will. The question of whether Tomura cares about the neighborhood has been settled for good – he does care. Enough that he’d give in to his conjurer to protect you all. “I don’t believe you,” Tomura says. His hand closes around his conjurer’s throat again. “And I’ll destroy you however I have to.”

Garaki had the chance to speak, but Shigaraki Akira doesn’t. You see a split second of shock on his misshapen features before he begins to disintegrate at the throat.

It’s fast and mercilessly simple. Tomura drains his conjurer to death at lightning speed, scattering essence into the air, and as the empty set of clothes falls to the ground, you see Tomura’s feet touch the mostly-dead grass in your front yard. There’s the little stagger he always does when he lands, like he’s not quite used to being on solid ground. And then the world begins to bend and warp around him, midair tearing open just behind him. A rush of cold sweeps over you again, a thousand times worse than anything you’ve felt from Tomura or any other ghost. It’s the world between. It’s pulling him back in.

Tomura’s body begins to fray, strips of skin peeling off and being sucked into the rift behind him, a moment before it yanks him off his feet entirely. In a split second he’s nearly swallowed whole. All that’s left of him is one hand reaching out, grasping uselessly at the air, seeking something, anything, to hold onto.

You move without conscious thought. You throw yourself forward and seize Tomura’s hand in both of yours, one hand closing around his palm and the other around his wrist. You don’t know if you can stop this. If there’s any way to stop this at all. But you know for a fact that you’re not going to let go of him. Wherever he goes, you’re going there, too. Tomura’s hand grips yours just as tightly. His knuckles have gone white. And his hand is warm.

Another set of hands covers yours and you nearly jump out of your skin. When you look to your right, you find Spinner crouched next to you. He gives you a strained smile and tightens his grip on you, and on Tomura. “You gotta hang on,” he shouts at Tomura. “I heard there’s a shiny Giratina in the new Pokémon game.”

You almost laugh. You would laugh if you couldn’t feel the cold leaking out of the world between. Another set of warm hands closes onto you, one around your wrist, one reaching further up Tomura’s arm. Himiko’s teeth are bared, either smiling or snarling – you’re not sure which. “Don’t you dare let go,” she says – to Tomura, not to you. “Your human will never forgive you, and neither will I!”

The pull of the world between is getting stronger. It’s dragging on Tomura, and now it’s dragging you, Spinner, and Himiko, pulling you closer to the breach. “Oh no you don’t,” a voice says sweetly, and someone grabs you and Spinner around the waist at once. Magne’s grip is strong as she hauls you both backwards. “Jin, honey, you too!”

Jin is holding onto you and Himiko. He’s pulling hard. With their help, you’re no longer losing ground to the world between – but you’re not making progress, either, and your hands are starting to go numb. An agonized howl issues from somewhere within the rift and your blood turns to ice. He’s hurt. This is hurting him. You have to get him out of there.

You open your mouth to call for help, but before you can, the air is unceremoniously forced out of your lungs as someone bearhugs you from behind. “Hold on,” Kurogiri instructs – not Tomura, but you. Tomura’s nails are scrabbling at the inside of your wrist, but you’re so cold you can barely feel them. “We will do the rest.”

Only Tomura’s forearm was visible before. Now his elbow and his upper arm are free of the rift. There’s another scream from inside it. Someone scurries past you, much closer to the rift than you thought anyone would dare to go, and grabs Tomura by his upper arm. “Pull together,” Atsuhiro shouts at the rest of you, as ice begins to spiral up from the spot where his hands are wrapped around Tomura’s bicep. “Now!”

Tomura’s shoulder emerges from the rift, but even as you pull him free, his grip on your hand is weakening. You tighten yours in response. “Hang on,” you beg him. “Come on, don’t do this. Hang on!”

Another yank and his head is free, but something’s wrong. He’s not conscious. His head is hanging forward, his hair in his eyes, and even when you say his name, he doesn’t stir. You keep pulling, and so does everybody else, but once you’ve freed his torso, the world between fights back. Even with all seven of you struggling to free him, you can’t win. Tomura’s hand is almost entirely limp in yours.

Himiko notices, too. She raises her voice. “Help!”

Who’s going to help you? Everybody who’s ever shown they care about Tomura is already here, fighting to steal him back from the world between. You know Aizawa won’t intervene. You wouldn’t be surprised if Hizashi tried to push Tomura back in. Who’s left? Keigo’s watching the kids. You don’t know where Nemuri is. Jin’s mom – Natsu – nobody. This is who you have. You’re not enough.

“Fuck,” Dabi explodes from somewhere behind you. You barely have time to tighten your grip on Tomura before a pair of burning-hot hands lock onto your forearm and haul you backwards.

You can smell your own flesh burning, but it doesn’t matter. None of it matters, because eight of you are enough. One final yank, all of you pulling together, and Tomura tears free of the rift, falling forward into the pile of rescuers and landing mostly on top of you.

“Ew, he’s naked!” Himiko scrambles backwards, and everybody else follows, as you shift Tomura off of you and onto his back. He’s definitely naked, whatever remained of his clothes torn away in the effort to free him from the world between, and his body’s a mess. There are patches of burns and frostbite, bleeding fractures in his dry skin, his lips split and bloody. His eyes are closed. He’s not moving.

“Tomura.” You shake his shoulder, gently at first, then with increasing desperation. “Please. Please wake up.”

His skin is warm. He’s permanently embodied. He’s alive, or he was. You feel for a pulse at his neck, but you don’t know enough about taking pulses to know if you’re even touching the right spot, and your fingers are still numb. Is his chest rising and falling? Your eyes are so blurry with tears that you can barely see, and you blink hard, trying to clear them away. A few droplets roll down your face to splatter on Tomura’s shoulder, his cheek. You keep shaking him, fighting to hold in a sob. You’re injured. You’re in pain. The cold of the world between is in your bones, and none of it hurts as badly as the thought that you’ve lost Tomura for good.

You’re so busy shaking him that you barely notice when he stirs, but you can’t fail to notice the hand that rises, first to brush at his face, then to awkwardly wipe under your eyes. Even then, it barely registers. You think you’re imagining it, that you wished so hard your mind told you it was true. “Don’t leave,” you say, the same words you’ve heard him say so many times. “I need you. Don’t leave me. I –”

“Stop crying on my face.” His voice is so quiet you can barely hear it, but it’s his. You’d know it anywhere. “Don’t be stupid. I’m right here.”

It’s not a dream, or a wish come true. If everything was exactly as you wanted it, the second sentence out of Tomura’s mouth after he embodied himself wouldn’t be “don’t be stupid”, so that’s how you know it’s real. Tomura’s alive. He defeated his own conjurer. He saved everyone. And you, with a whole lot of help from the neighborhood he’s always pretended he hates – you saved him.

It’s okay now. It’ll be okay. You get a split second of pure happiness and relief before the pain floods in, and for the first time since you were dragged out of the conjurer’s torture chamber, your mind gives up the ghost. Tomura’s crimson eyes, staring up into yours, are the last thing you see before everything goes black.

#lovhalloweenhorror #shigaraki tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x you #x reader #reader insert #shigaraki tomura #ghost story #loser nerd ghost boyfriend

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ekza-art · 11 months

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Why is Mike so dumb? (Not really)

The layered internal conflicts of the characters in Stranger Things are truly admirable. And the fact that people refuse to see that behind the words of the characters may be hiding something completely different from what they mean, only confirms this: people love to deceive, and first of all themselves.

"Friends don't lie" has become more than just the Party's naïve motto as they've grown older, it's become the keynote that, after coming full circle, like so much else on the show, it's back to full circle by Season 5. The Duffer brothers have made the lines of the show's key characters incredibly deep and complex, and what's happening right now between El, Will and Mike is one of the most complex and truly horrifying tragedies of our entire existence.

It always seemed very strange to me how a large number of people cling to Mileven and do not see anything else around. At the same time, I do not feel hatred or rejection towards lovers of the Mike / Eleven couple. But let's be objective: how many couples do you know who have stayed with each other for life, becoming each other's first? I'm not talking about the couples from the series that ended up getting this far, let's talk about reality. Children's first love is something truly pure, tender, almost holy. I was also in love with my 11-12 years old, and when now, at 31, I remember this, I remember only warmth and bright feelings. I remember this boy's name, but I don't even remember his face.

At the same time, the Duffer brothers in an interview frankly told us several key things: they do not believe in love at first sight, they do not consider the relationship between Mike and Eleven to be something serious, they describe this relationship as “Mike found a puppy in the forest and wanted to take care of him". Plus, and I think it's a big deal, when Eleven was first seen, Party had her hair cut so short that other people thought she was a boy -- at 11 years old, boys and girls aren't that different yet. At the same time, I always liked the ease and acceptance with which Mike spoke about El in any of its forms: he really didn't care if she looked like a girl or a boy, he finds her "pretty" in any form. And I think this is also important.

I was a fan of Mileven myself until the end of Season 2. I cried and was touched by the way Mike and El kissed at the Snow Ball. But during Season 3, I began to understand that something was clearly wrong going on between them. And Mike is really starting to act weird. At this time, they are 14 years old, more conscious sexuality begins to wake up. Hormones are raging and all that stuff. And at these moments, I begin to notice in Mike that he is not really want to take next base in relationships with El. Don't you remember yourself at 14? I remember myself very clear. We hung out in groups, and when the boys paid attention to us, we wanted to be as tactile with them as possible. But Mike is limited to very modest hand touches. This is his maximum, while El hugs him, reaches for him, while kissing wants to touch his face and hair. This is weird. I do not take into account Mike's lies in all of this, but for some reason one very important thing comes to my mind: at 11 years old, Mike did not listen to Hopper and went to look for Will with the Party on his own, at 12 years old, Mike, angry, attacked Hopper with his fists. And then suddenly he was horrified by Hopper when he scared Mike a little? Last year a boy literally saw a possessed friend and dead people, for God sake! At the same time, the boy probably understood that Jim would not do anything to him, would not harm him at all. So why did he start to avoid El and come up with all sorts of nonsense? Was he just looking for a reason? And the words of Jim to Joyce are also important: "they kiss all the time." That is, apart from kisses, a couple of Mike and El are not interested in anything else and do not have a connect without any "End of the World" danger? That's really sad.

"Mike tries to be normal as hard as he can" is practically a Finn's quote from Season 4. And in general, the way Finn refers to his character as an "idiot" in other interviews shows us that he understands what's going on with Mike, and it pisses him off. If this isn't a sexual identity crisis, then what could be tormenting Mike so much? I remember my identity crisis, which I lived at the age of 15-18. It almost took me to a psychiatrist and a surgeon because I couldn't figure out why I liked both boys and girls and why I sometimes felt like a guy. It was scary. I lived in Russia in the 2000s and it was very similar to the 1980s in America, trust me. The clash of conservatism and liberalism regarding sexual minorities and their representation on TV was simply crazy. I had no where to get information about what was happening to me. And as I look at Mike's tossing, I remember that I also tried my best to be "normal." I had my first sex at 20, with my close many-years friend, because it was too scary for me. And at the same time I suffered very deeply inside and thought that I was going crazy. Of course, Mike begins to lie to himself and believe his lies in order to stay sane. He really believes what he says at the end of Season 4. But his monologue is the bizarre mixture of lies and half-truths that he is now capable of.

I sincerely believe that Mike loves El. However, he is completely honest when he says that he "cares about her", calls her a "superhero" and cannot say "I love you" when El expects these words from him as her boyfriend. He loves her, but not in the way that El loves him -- not in a romantic way. Mike's monologue at the end of Season 4 is kind of a compromise. He reconciled his two opposing sides inside and brought them to what we have in the final. But while it's true that he might like guys too, he's not ready to dive just yet.

And at the same time, I really like the way El reacts to all of this. I want to ask the Mileven fans why, after the long-awaited “I love you”, El barely talks to Mike and feels lonely? She had been waiting for these words for so long, heard them -- but is she unhappy? Doesn't this seem strange? I would love to hear an explanation of this situation, because if it's not that El sensed the lie in Mike's words (and that he was lying to himself first of all), then I don't understand what is happening. I think El is amazing and she deserves the truth. And a relationship with a guy who is confused in himself is not what she deserves.

I'm truly sorry for Mike. I understand his conflict, I understand his suffering. He really is terribly confused. And I love how the Duffer brothers showed us that from the very beginning of the series. While everyone was wondering if Will was gay (although in the very first developments for the series, the phrase "has difficulties with sexual identity" was literally on the second line of Will's description, that is, it is a key to his personality), they dragged through the growing up Mike's internal conflict, giving us such microscopic clues that it was very easy to miss.

The theme of growing up, changes in oneself and in the world, self-determination, presented by the Duffer brothers in Stranger Things is really brilliant. We are used to the fact that there are shows for children and there are shows for teenagers, and these are completely different age categories and they raise completely different topics. And because of this, the very transition between these categories seems to turn into a perennial abyss. Although in fact the border is very thin, and it is this border that is the most conflicting of the moments of life. We are used to the fact that 15-16 year old teenagers are played by 20+ year old actors, this does not seem strange. And I don’t know how about you, but I still have very strange feelings from the fact that in Season 1 we see 11-13 year old actors who play 12-year-old characters with their childish games, and in 4 season they are already 18-20 years old, their characters have become full-fledged teenagers of 15-16 years old, and they really grew up. But, unlike other shows where we get to know teenage characters already at their 15-16, here we grew up with them. We live together with these complex conflicts of adolescence. And yes, that's why we often feel uncomfortable about it. We want certainty, we want to see that the characters have clear answers to everything, but come on guys! Let's be honest with each other.

#mike wheeler #will byers #eleven #jane hopper #stranger things #byler #mileven #platonic mileven

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shootingstarpilot · 6 months

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Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @merlyn-bane!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

Eight!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

217,911

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

*sobbing* Star Wars, my beloved. The brainrot is real; I am consumed. When I was still on FF.net, though, I had stuff up in Harry Potter and How to Train Your Dragon.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

back then, i was dauntless

how to bring him home

if i don't make it back (from where i've gone)

though some would harm you

like lightning changing hands

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely do! I feel bad because I know I've gotten some lovely comments on chapters that aren't the most recent one, and those tend to get lost in the inbox, but I promise I'm working on it- if you get a response from a comment you left a year and a half ago, don't hold it against me 😅

I do it because I want so badly to build community here! I love getting comments from people, responding to something with a wee hint of a tease because I'm AWFUL and then getting a keysmash of a response and then exchanging snippets in the comments, truly, it fills me with delight- and I've met some absolutely wonderful people who I got introduced to by responding to comments-

Anyway. Community. That.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh. Hm. Hm.

I... guess it would have to be though some would harm you? Although I'm not sure if I feel confident in that designation, because it's very much part of a multi-work series. And I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings to write a stand-alone fic that doesn't have one, I think.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, neural plasticity, for sure! Short and sweet <3

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

A bit. I can brush off the "actually the Jedi were the real monsters" assholes easily enough, but honestly, the comments that hit the hardest are the ones that clearly come from people who think they're offering ✨constructive criticism.✨ Not only because I didn't ask for it, but also because saying my work is "fatiguing" or "I'm sure there's a decent story here, but it's being buried under what you're trying to do with it-" there's nothing constructive there.

Side note: the person who left that last comment deleted it about half an hour later, because when I went to reply, it had vanished from my inbox. I don't know if they did that because they didn't want me to be able to reply, or if they realized that what they said was unhelpful and mean, but if they ever happen to see this-

I still got the email, prick.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Write? No, I haven't quite worked up the panache to try. Reading, on the other hand...

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do have snippets of one crossover that I actually posted in an anonymous collection, ha- an old BBC Merlin/ Good Omens/ Supernatural fic that I dug out of my old documents. Other than that, no- unless you count the Prequels and the Clone Wars as different enough to qualify as a crossover.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of- very much open to it, though!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Since I don't think taking drabbles in tumblr chats to ridiculous lengths counts, I'd have to say no- I'd like to, though!

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Codywan. Fiercely, unwaveringly Codywan.

Just to reinforce this- 292 of my bookmarks consist of Cody/Obi-Wan. The next most common romantic pairing (Aziraphale/Crowley) has less than half that, at 121.

I'm a goner, and I can't even bring myself to regret it.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

OKAY SO I've written snippets of a modern AU focusing on Helix, Needle and Stitch, and I'm totally gonna take this opportunity to rage about it. I'm probably never gonna finish it, but it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, so, hey- what else is fic for, really, if not for indulging yourself?

At first, it's just Needle and Stitch. It's just been the two of them, for as long as Stitch can remember. Needle's only a few years older than him, but he's raised him, kept him in school, kept a roof over their heads and food on the table-

Food on Stitch's plate, at least.

Then, one night, Needle does not come home.

A hit-and-run, the nurse tells him, although the words will not trickle through until much later. A coma.

He will not, they say patiently, come home for some time.

(There is so much that needs doing.)

Helix, meanwhile, is studying physical therapy at the local community college and working part-time at his brother Ace's bakery.

It's during one of these shifts that a skinny little twerp comes in and hands him a job application.

(Rent and bills and Needle Needle Needle-)

It doesn't take Helix long to realize something is... off.

Ace tells him not to push it, but-

The kid's a good worker. Great, as a matter of fact. He's never late. Stays past closing, too, if they've had a rush. He tells Helix about his brother and nothing else.

(His brother hasn't come to visit.)

Everything that's not sold at the end of the day gets packaged up and given out. They only toss in the dumpster what's really, truly inedible- stuff that got dropped in the kitchen, scraps left over from customers-

He thinks it's raccoons, at first, until he peers in and sees Stitch flatten himself against a heap of bags in the corner.

They package up leftovers for him, after that. A bit more than leftovers, maybe. Ace sets aside sandwiches. Helix buys him a thermos and tells him it's been in the lost and found for over a year. They make sure he eats.

(Needle's getting transferred out of the ICU.)

Stitch is trying. He's doing everything he can, and more besides. But Needle's life is too expensive and he's buckling under the weight.

(He hasn't even grieved. Not really. No room. No time.)

Eventually, something has to give.

He does.

(He hadn't expected someone to be there to catch him.)

Featuring:

Helix stumbling into adopting first one, then two idiot kids

Ace being a supportive brother

Needle finding his way home

Mace Windu as Needle's (unfairly attractive, Helix thinks) neurologist

Obi-Wan as a hospital social worker who gets assigned Needle's file

Cody as Obi-Wan's husband, Helix's cousin, and children's book author (Stitch's favorite)

(listen I am WEAK for author!Cody, truly)

(Helix was totally the one who got them together and he regrets it every day of his life.)

Sheev Palpatine as the epitome of the evil of the American healthcare system

The Melidaan crew running a long-term, non-profit care facility that offers both in-patient and out-patient rehab services

16.) What are your writing strengths?

(I'VE PUT TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS. SHIT.)

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am, apparently, really good at writing breakdowns. >:3

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dialogue does not come easily to me. I have to work a bit to hit my stride. But I think it turns out well enough!

Hm. Coming from a purely technical perspective here, I think the reader should be able to understand everything that's spoken in a fic. If a character says something in another language, then I think the best way to convey that is, "X muttered something Y didn't catch," or, if the listener recognizes that it's at least in another language, "X muttered something in French."

If the reader should understand it, then something along the lines of: "'I knew we shouldn't have trusted him,' X muttered in French."

If the POV character doesn't understand the language, it doesn't make sense to provide the reader with a perfect transliteration of what the other character is saying. The character wouldn't have that knowledge. It can really take me out of the fic when two characters suddenly start conversing in written-out sentences in another language, and I have to scroll all the way down to the footnotes for translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

But then again, that's just my opinion- I'm sure others have their own thoughts on this!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Harry Potter.

Hell, I have to say like lightning changing hands, if only because whatever fic I'm writing at the moment is my favorite. It's the act of creation that does it for me!

(Also because it's such a good opportunity to explore so many relationship dynamics.)

No-pressure tags for @jedi-enthusiast, @themonopolyhat, @shadow-pixelle, and @foreverchangingfandomsao3!

#shoulder the sky #me: let's summarize this lil nebulous au for sharing! :D #also me ten minutes later: shit. it's grown legs.#personal #my writing

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liyuee-qixing · 2 years

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I will serve you until I die ✧

Summary ¡ Your Mother passed Away with an unknown reason,The heir soon passed to you as you're the only child of her. For the first time ever the harbinger saw face to face with you

Character ¡ Pierro, Arlecchino

Tw ¡ Mention of death and violence

A/N: it's about a month since I last updated h e h e.. also wtf I got like 90 on all of my exam but I got rank 14🤬🤬😡😡🤬😡🤬

Most quote(even title) is inspired by the song servant of evil! You should listen to it, I've been listening to it for almost five hours straight

Pierro ¡

Pierro was beyond shock when he's informed that his Archons Mysteriously Passed away, without any trail and trace.. at first he refused to come out of his office,he only commanded his subordinate to inform the other harbinger about it and that all schedule is cancelled

Due him being the first of fatui harbinger,He has the ability to send you a letters,To Move the control to you as fast as possible so the fatui could cooperate as soon as possible,sure he haven't met you In person but you're the only person that could handle the situation as well as snezhnaya.

When it come to the day you arrived safely at the castle,he know it's a love at the first sight,The whole snezhnaya attended The Heir ceremony,They need to see what their new ruler looks like. You're young, very young for an archon. You barely 800 years old,this caused doubt to happened between the lower class citizens,the question 'Will she manages as well as the tsaritsa?" "Is she even stronger than the harbinger?" To appear,of course it caused discomfort and negativity to get into you

In that moment Pierro assure you, it's alright to feel worry,it all right to feel fear,that you're good enough to rule snezhnaya,that you're deserving of control,power and strength you hold

"your majesty?"Pierro called,he was usually around you to assure that you are fine for the first week,you didn't answer him,you were just zoning out in your deep thoughts. Deep thoughts of what people might think of you,how are you going to rule a whole nation and organization alone,the discomfort and uneasy on your face are easily spotted by Pierro,even in the first week,he know you like he know his own backhand

"your majesty,were you thinking about the lower class citizens? Do you wish for them to disappear?"he asked again,snapping you out of your thoughts,you cleared your throat with a cough before you answered his questions,was is that obvious?

"Pierro you startled me,there no need to do such things, however your guess is correct."you answered his questions,worry still laced your voice and it seem like Pierro know it,he took a sigh before he speak once again

"your majesty, there's no need to be fear, there's no need to hear those ignorant people,they haven't been in your shoes before,you must notice yourself that it's hard to be an archon in very young age like you"he assured,his words were charming,soft and oddly calming,you took a sips of your coffee,letting him speak once again

"my queen,even if they dare to damn your name as they gather in rage,I will never stray and will stay by your side, after all,it just us against the world"his word is odd. Very odd way to describe your situation, however you shrug his last sentence off.. he don't mean it, right??

Arlecchino ¡

Is also one of the most affected one,also is in intense panic when it's announced that her archon passed away with mysterious reason,but assure herself it's okay, snezhnaya going on good hands. At the first glance she took of you,she know snezhnaya will be in good hands, just.. just look at you, you're highly intelligent, strong.. she afraid the same mistake will happen,so when Pierro is too busy,she guard you around,even if it just to pick up a document,she would have her guard up everytime someone is approaching,even if it's a fatui agent,and the fatui will be trembling as fuck by arlecchino,even if she just stand behind you

She also will not spare those who say shit about you,she doesn't understand why do you stop her from killing them,like..?? They talked shit about you and turned their back against you why do you want to spare them?? Just like Pierro, She would instantly notice if you need anything or if you are discomforted by something,she would be the type of woman that is a "I could bring the world to you knees if that what you wished" and "I will protect you from any single harm" at the same time

She also really like your smile, it's the most precious things she ever witnesses, slowly but surely blood rushed to her cheeks,she treat you with respect,low-key more respect than she give to the tsaritsa,she once accidentally kiss the back of your hand when she kneeled and she now remember it all of her life

"beware your majesty,this area is a public area"arlecchino uttered under her breaths,you just giggled as an answer before answering her worries

"we're just going to get the statics, there's nothing to be worry about,my dear arle"you answered before you reach the main entrance of the bustling city,you of course get all of the attention. Their previous ruler was never seen outside the castle for other reasons besides work,whisper then start to fly through the air

"was that..? The queen?, The queen look so young"one whispered,it was hearted by arlecchino, resulting to her glaring toward the one that whispered

"I bet all she know before is to pleasure men.."arlecchino Patience snapped,she tugs your sleeves before she said something

"your majesty,I have an urgent matter to take care of,do you able to get there yourself"she excused herself,a fake excuse to be exact,you smiled at her and nods

"very well arlecchino,good bye"you smiled as you continue to walk,she make sure you're quite away from the main city before she yelled something

" now that the queen is gone,why don't you guys continue talk shit about her?"she yelled,loud enough for the crowds to hear but not enough for you to hear,the crowds immediately went silent, trembling in afraid

"that's right, silent. this is your all last warning"she uttered under her heavy breathe,the crowds are still trembling in fear.

"arlecchino,I'm back,did something happen?"breaking the silence,you creep behind her,taking her hands on your,your Smile was so bright,it lightened her gloomy and dark life up,the things she would do to keep that smile remain on you face is unbelievable. For you she would dirty her hand,for you she make the whole world kneel

"no,not at all, now,shall we go,your majesty?"she oddly returned back your smile,she returned your genuinely smile,taking your hand on her, walking side by side through the whole city

#genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin fluff #pierro #pierro x reader #arlechinno #arlechinno x reader

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wedreamedlove · 2 years

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Evan In Love - Character Study

I wasn't expecting to write this, because I don't believe I can do justice to his writers who have been hitting home runs since his [SSR Still in the Mirror] in 2021. I'm willing to die on the hill of claiming that Evan is one of the most fascinating characters I've ever had the pleasure of reading anywhere. The pull-push tension between him and the heroine is godly! So, instead of my usual analysis, I'm going to summarize the key points his writers have laid out instead.

In my opinion, Evan's views on love have gone through three stages.

First, there was terror. [Childhood]

To put it simply, Evan has had zero role models for a loving and healthy romantic relationship. He was 5 years old when his parents started fighting viciously with each other, culminating in his mother giving up on the family. If you remember, his father was cheating around this time and would go missing soon and be labeled as a traitor to the Blood Clan.

In addition, while we don't know when Evan first began attending Blood Clan events, we know he's been seeing Blood Clan customs since 14 years old, such as the orgy and bloodletting even at their weddings. The culture of the Blood Clan treats brides like objects; her family is not allowed at the wedding and, once married out, the bride becomes a possession of the groom.

[SSR Against One's Heart - 12 Years Ago Early Spring TRAJECTORY]

What exactly was "love"? It could make people lose their reason and sense of self in one moment, yet it could also make people become another person the moment they let it go.

The power it had was enough to produce a complete change in a person. Its existence was more powerful and more terrifying than any force.

Thinking of this, the young Evan suddenly felt an unprecedented terror.

[...]

What was love?

Was it an intimacy, passion, and desire that burned like a flame, or was it a commitment to another person that required one's whole life?

However, commitments would become distorted, desires would be devoured, raging flames would burn out, and the intimacy bound by life would one day spiral out of control.

Just like the cello strings in the hands of him and his mother. No matter how wonderful the music was that they played, the strings would suddenly break at a critical moment.

Evan: Heh.

Evan gave a low, self-derisive laugh. He was suddenly thankful that his gray past let him understand the essence of love and marriage.

Before he blindly chased "love" like everyone else.

The only warmth he ever received at this age was from his maternal grandmother and her servant but, in Evan's eyes, he had to lie to them to preserve this relationship. This created more psychological shadows for him, because his lies were exchanged for their love and peace of mind.

Second, there was incomprehension. [Teenage to Adulthood]

After the death of his maternal grandmother and her servant, Evan essentially became numb to the world. It's important to note here that, during his puberty, he's seen the carnality and hedonism of the Blood Clan and is mostly unmoved by it. There is a beastly instinct in him that craves blood, like them, but he also desires more.

[SSR Against One's Heart - 11 Years Ago Spring TRAJECTORY]

[...] I never dared to look directly at the sun, it always made me feel sinful, but that day was different. That day was different.

Its compassionate eyes made me feel that no matter what I did, even if it was depraved and sinful, everything would be forgiven. I remembered the warm embrace that I didn't want to leave when I was a child. My heart beat fast, my whole body was tightly tensed, and then a stream of heat ran up my spine and dripped down my body. For an instant, my brain was empty, and this sort of feeling was awkward and unfamiliar; however, my body was filled with a primitive and straightforward pleasure—a pleasure that had long since disappeared at some point in time.

I opened my eyes, panting. It was dawn.

If you think this sounds like something, you're not mistaken. Yes, Light and Night wrote a very tasteful masturbation scene for Evan. He found kindred spirits in fictional books and re-connected with the world this way. Specifically, the aforementioned scene is when he reads The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera and reaches a passage about Tomas and Tereza making love. What Evan is drawn to is not the pleasures of flesh, but a love that connects two souls.

A major point to understanding Evan is that he's a black sheep. He doesn't belong anywhere. To the Blood Clan, Evan is an abnormality because he has these "human" sentiments and disagrees with their values, even going so far as to be disgusted at their instincts. To us, this seems normal—and even praiseworthy—but imagine how lost a child would be growing up in a society where everything they did, thought, or felt was out of the norm.

Meanwhile, Evan also cannot join the human world because, fundamentally, he is not human and he has these monstrous instincts. Blood excites him. This isn't even bringing up the fact that he's been trained to be a ruthless weapon, with innocent blood on his hands, and so he really can't fit into normal society anymore.

All in all, this is Evan's state at the beginning of the game when we meet him. Deep down, he longs for a relationship that unites two people together but he has no model or experience for love. It's not a surprise that this incomprehension leads to his first birthday in 2021 being all about his struggle with love.

[In the Misty Night Birthday PV]

"Beyond my mind, there has always been something I cannot touch or see clearly. Is it love?"

In my opinion, [MAIN STORY CHAPTER 16] and [SSR Enticing Feast] are roughly around the same timeline, where Evan is drawn to the heroine but experience has repeatedly taught him that he loses everything in his life, so it's better not to have something than to have it and lose it. He will take disappointment and regret over bitterness and rage.

However, despite whatever he thinks in his mind, his body and actions show his true emotions all the time.

Third, the belief now that love is forgiveness, and the acceptance that comes with this. [Present]

[SSR Prairie Fire]

He slowly bent down, the restraint in his eyes suppressing the surge of desire. His actions were very gentle though and, like a devout believer, he gave the longest kiss to my fingertip.

Evan: Are you willing to forgive my desire?

Even at this moment, he still asked again to confirm my intention. I looked him straight in the eyes and nodded.

MC: I'm willing.

[...]

Evan: It seems this is truly an overly powerful phantasmagoria, and it'd be difficult to break relying on the power of just one person.

MC: Does it need the two of us together...?

I thought for a moment and then suddenly looked at Evan.

MC: When we broke the handcuff just now... I seemed to feel some sort of power pour in, was that yours?

Evan nodded.

MC: If that's the case, can we be bound together with the contract of a master and feast?

Evan: The Feast Contract?

Evan frowned reflexively. It was obvious he instinctively rejected the habits of the Blood Clan.

Evan: I don't want to do this to you.

MC: But in this situation right now, I'm afraid this is the quickest and most effective way.

A rare trace of hesitation flashed through Evan's eyes, but it was fleeting. He made a quick decision and seemed to agree with my judgment.

Evan: I will control myself and it's only a temporary contract.

MC: I trust you.

Evan embraced me, took my hand, and led me to lie down on the couch. Then he grabbed my wrist and, once again, kissed the fingertip he had just bitten.

Evan: In this contract, [MC] shall become my feast.

He pinched the pad of my finger carefully and the tip of his tongue swirled around the injury. A strand of blood oozed from the wound that had yet to heal and he gently licked it.

Evan: I shall open to you an abyss of desire, and you shall bring to me a tide of depravity.

Evan: This I vow, and seal with blood.

[...]

Evan looked at the side of the girl's defenceless and sound asleep face, letting out a long breath.

The old woman's astonished eyes still remained before his eyes and even he himself was surprised that the moment he sucked the girl's blood he unconsciously sent his own power to the dazed girl.

Evan looked at his hand, which had once been covered in blood. Later, in day after day of overt contentions and covert struggles, he became accustomed to calculating all his benefits and losses like a machine.

But in that instant he saw her trapped, whether it was the instinct of a beast that had been offended or out of an irrationality deep in his heart, he couldn't resist the emotion of wanting to rescue her.

He used to be so afraid of obtaining her, and so afraid of losing her. But in that moment, he threw all of that to the back of his mind and only wanted to take back something, possess something, and was willing to pay for it.

Evan: Is this... love?

A low voice overflowed from his lips subconsciously. A gust of cool wind blew and the sleeping girl unconsciously hugged his arm tightly. He didn't know what she dreamed about, but she seemed to reveal a satisfied smile.

Evan reached out and held her shoulders, letting the last light syllable dissipate in the evening breeze.

Perhaps this answer was no longer that important.

[2022 QIXI LOGIN MESSAGE]

"Under the majestic and boundless night sky, you are the one and only source of light in the depths of my heart."

It's hard to describe the relationship between Evan and his heroine. It's... complicated. Remember, Evan has no framework for love and so he's acting blind here. He can't even trust his instincts when it comes to her, because they're torn between wanting to drink her blood and possess her as well as protect and cherish her. I think this leads to the unconventional ways Evan's love is described in the game, like the aforementioned scene where he doesn't even attempt to define love.

I used to talk a lot about Mo Yi from Tears of Themis and his theme about what it looks like for a human to be in love, so I'm absolutely delighted that Evan's writers have decided to touch on this as well. Both of these men wish to be wholly bared and genuine to their heroines, but at the same time it's a terrifying ordeal to be known because they aren't archetypical "good" people. They show the messy spectrum of human emotions, including unkind thoughts and dark urges.

The concept of genuineness is tackled in [SSR Sinful Love]:

Evan: How come you're lost in thought, are you still thinking about that question before getting in the car?

MC: Yeah... I'm thinking about my "character".

Evan: A little rabbit?

MC: Yes. But, sometimes, I might not be the bunny you think I am.

Evan: But I think it's also out of tenderness that people will hide themselves and choose to show others their most suitable side.

Evan: No matter what kind of person you choose to be in front of me, I will cherish that feeling. This is enough.

I stared blankly at his smile and then suddenly came to a realization.

The reason people had characters and couldn't just act according to their own feelings was because they cared about the person in front of them.

It was because I cared about someone that I couldn't stop considering things for him, taking his feelings into account, and also caring about his opinion of me.

There is no one correct path to loving someone. Love can be inexplicable, complicated, and messy; however, when you act out of that intent and take the other person into consideration, I'm certain the other person will be able to feel it.

On a hilarious note, Evan's gap moe is not the standard cold to outsiders and warm to the heroine, but rather the opposite! He's unfailingly polite and a gentleman to others, but a troll and tease to the heroine. When he's being just a little bit rude, that's when you know he's being his true self.

Lastly, I'll close with Evan's beautiful marriage vows now that we know he must have come up with them himself, since the Blood Clan is... well, like that. Check out how his vows are direct references to the thoughts he had when he was 14 years old and questioning love.

[SSR Meaningful Contract]

Evan: I, Evan, take [MC] as my wife, my lifelong partner, and my only lover.

Evan: You are my desire that never withers. You are my deepest depravity and obsession.

Evan: I promise to love you forever, regardless if it's a blessing or curse or whether we be in heaven or hell.

Evan: I will take you out of despair and pain with both hands. With my heart, I will brew the mellow wine of your life.

Evan: If the relentless night comes, I will burn every inch of me to light up a path of life for you.

When the footsteps stopped, I turned my head and looked behind me.

Sunlight shone through the enormous stained glass and poured on that carpet of loyalty.

Evan stood in front of me and took my hand to touch his heart lightly, as if completing some kind of special ceremony.

Evan: Now, please allow me to ask for your forgiveness.

His solemn oath fell into my heart and produced a tiny resonance. I slowly closed my fingers and held his hand in return.

MC: I forgive you.

Right after I spoke, the corner of my lips were suddenly covered by a warm softness.

In a humid Salar in June, Evan leaned down and kissed me.

He carefully tore my lips and swallowed the rust-scented blood, little by little. The hand that was around my waist trembled slightly, as if trying to control some dangerous instinct.

Through wet breaths, I finally understood what exactly was the Kiss of Thorns of the Blood Clan—

Just like thorns piercing each other, only after making each other your only desire can it be regarded as offering up your soul.

#光与夜之恋 #light and night #LN Evan #LN Lu Chen #meta of light and night

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fabuloustrash05 · 1 year

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So out of pure curiosity, do you have any headcannons for salamandrian culture and salamander characters (Newtralizer, Sal Commander, Mona Lisa). There isn't much info about these people and I'm curios

I’ve talk about a few ideas from time to time in other posts of mine but never got to fully explain them, so here’s some HCs I have of the Salamandrians from TMNT 2012.

Mona is 2 years older than Raph (so Casey’s age of 17), Sal Commander and Splinter are the same age (50s), and Newtralizer and Tiger Claw are the same age (30s)

The Salamandrians are an honorable warrior race. They live to fight in battle, so much so that they recruit young children into their armies. They live by a simple rule: “If you can walk you can train and if you can train you can fight”.

Mona, Sal and Newt all joined their militaries at young ages. Joining the military and earning high ratings of lieutenant or commander is considered very normal and common on their planet. Ex: Mona was promoted to lieutenant when she was only 14 years old

Salamandrians have massive appetites, they get hungry and can eat a lot (think of it like Saiyan appetites from Dragon Ball)

They are very literal, metaphors and puns will go over their head.

Their “Rokka Rokka” is more of a verbal tic than being truly apart of their language. The tic usually comes out when a Salamandrian experiences great/intense emotion (excitement, rage, etc)

They don’t celebrate birthdays. They see no point. To Salamandrians their logic is: "Why celebrate your birth? Congratulations, you survived another year! What a waste of time!" Because of this, characters like Mona Lisa don’t know when her birthday is.

Millions of years ago, Salamandrians used to hunt and eat Kraang, back then known as Utrom. Though over the course of history they evolved and peace grew between the two species, that doesn’t stop a Salamandrian from still have a desire to consume one (we’ve seen Newtralizer do it and Mona has even threatened to eat one)

The Salamandrains only ever got involved in a war against the Triceratons because the Triceratons were at war with the Kraang. The Salamandrians found it insulting that an equally powerful race like the Triceratons were at war with a weaker alien race instead of them, a more powerful and stronger opponent. They saw it as an insult on their honor and declared war with the Triceratons to prove that they are a more worthy opponent than the Kraang. So basically Salamandrians started a war with the Triceratons because they’re petty.

Marriage does not exist on Salamandria. Instead when you come of age you are set up in a matchmaking process, using statistics and skill sets (strength, intelligence, etc), you are match with your “mate” with the goal to create a strong offspring to one day assist in the planet’s military. It is seen more as a business deal than actual compatibility and love. Only rarely do matches actually end up falling in love and stay together and continue to make more offspring.

For Mona Lisa, she was matched with three different suitors, but they were all disgraceful in their own way, seeing her as a trophy for them to brag about (because she has such a high ranking honorable status in the military). Mona knew this very well so she rejected them, and with three rejected suitors Monas reputation in matchmaking was badly damaged and she was known as the unwanted prize. It wasn’t until she met Raph, who was a man who saw her own person and respected/loved her for who she was.

For Sal Commander, when he was a young man, he too was matched, and in truth he fell in love with his mate, but sadly she never reciprocated those feelings. Despite that, she agree to go through with being his mate and they had a child together. Shortly after the child was born, Sal’s mate left him and a few short years later Sal’s child died in combat at a young age.

Over his years in the military Newtralizer grew to love fighting in battles just like any Salamandrian, but he began to enjoy it more than others to an extreme level. He yearned to kill and spill blood during times of peace, something that disturbed many of his comrades, including Sal. Desperate for more battles, Newtrailzer made a deal with Lord Dregg to become his personal assassin just so he could continue his sick trill of killing. For years Newt did this secret job on the side but one day Sal discovered the dark true of his friend and pupil.

Fighting in battle is traditional for Salamandrians, but willing killing and harming innocent with out a cause was disgraceful. That’s what Newtralizer did, and when his dark secret was discovered he attacked and nearly kill Sal Commander and fled Salamandria to avoid his trial for his crimes.

Also, if anyone’s curious, here’s a list I put together of canon facts about Salamandrians according to the show >> LINK

#bunnyfoxu #asks #answered #fabtrash headcanons #tmnt headcanons #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt mona lisa #sal commander #Newtralizer #salamandrian #tmnt raphael

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aphrostarot · 1 year

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Astrology and the Sexes: Gemini Woman

Gemini Woman:

Title: “The Gift”

For simplicity's sake, I will use the pronouns “he/him” for the male versions of the signs and “she/her” for the female versions of the signs. This is not to say that the people who identify with the male or female versions of each sign identify with those pronouns. This post is focusing on the different sexes (male vs female) not gender. Gender is fluid and I am in no way labeling people with these posts. Also, these posts are focusing solely on the Sun signs of each zodiac, other birth chart placements may cause someone to not fit into everything I have described.

Masterlist

Mind (how they think):

In both her professional and personal lives, the Gemini woman straddles a fine line between innate vulnerability and a strong need to assert herself.

She will often play coy or precocious to disarm the people around her to gain the necessary ground she feels she needs to get what she wants.

She likes to make people excited when she is around. So, she will often be found at the center stage when she is in groups of people.

When you first meet her she will make a great impression. It will seem as though you know exactly who she is but then you see her interact with others and she is somebody completely different.

She knows exactly how to portray herself to others to get what she wants from them.

Her coming off as someone completely different from everyone she meets is also a defense mechanism of hers.

She is rarely as innocent as she pretends to be.

She approaches life with an unapologetic “deal with me” demeanor.

She is very unpredictable. One of her main talents is her ability to make people think she is one way and then completely transform into somebody else the next second.

As the third sign in the zodiac, she combines the aggressive nature and masculine force of an Aries and the more feminine energy of the Taurus that comes before her in the zodiac.

She is in an endless state of adolescent rage well into her old age. This is because Gemini rules the ages of 14-21, she always will have youth about her.

She is acutely aware of her human experience and yet she pretends to be innocent and inexperienced when she is quite experienced in life and especially in sex.

She knows exactly what to do to get a man falling to his knees at her feet. She is quite good at splitting a man in two and emasculating him.

She grew up in a household where her father was the leader and her mother was too caught up in her own world to focus on the family.

She often felt overlooked as a child because of her parents' struggle with their more emotional sides.

She naturally aligns herself with her father because she is very similar to him but at the same time, she also clashes with him.

Her father was often MIA, either fighting addictions or more focused on his sexual issues.

She develops a more sisterly relationship with her mother and may even pity her mom. She will bicker with her mom quite often as well.

She may have had to be the parent to her parents quite early on in her life. However, she will never blame them for their lack of love. Rather she points her finger at her siblings or the situations she found herself in as a kid.

She wants all of her parent's attention and when she doesn’t get it, she will lash out. Which reads as her being stuck in the difficult teenage years that her sign rules over.

Her rashness and “bitchiness” is only a mask to hide the deep hurt she feels for not being loved the way she wanted to be when she was a kid.

Her relationship with boys may make her father upset.

She develops her sexuality quite early in life and purposefully goes after boys that go against everything her dad wants for her.

Her dad is typically blatantly biased id not outright bigoted toward the boys in her life. This is usually a projection of the own repression he has faced in his life.

As she gets older she will start to take on a caretaker role to her mother. Specifically doing her mom's thinking, affectionately bossing her around in the way she witnessed her father doing from a young age.

Emotionally and sexually she tends to act out which can be considered a cry for attention.

Her constantly being described as “trouble” is her way of getting back at the world for robbing her of the tenderness she wanted from her parents.

Body + Soul (what they look like inside and out):

May have been a tomboy when she was a kid.

When she becomes a teenager she is more likely to explore her sexuality.

Other women her age see her as edgy and challenging. She is likely to kick any girl's ass while also being her bestie the next day.

She is often a ringleader when she is a teenager because her mind develops much faster than others her age.

Her beauty and sexuality are very candid. She is not one to fake anything when it comes to being herself. In her mind people can take her or leave her, she does not care.

She is very fidgety. She can’t sit still. She will jump in and out of her chair while simultaneously doing a handful of tasks.

She never wants to miss out on any bit of conversation.

She is almost always exhausted. She needs to learn to conserve and pace herself.

Many people have a hard time keeping up with her because her mind moves so quickly. She jumps from one subject to the next.

She has a breathy voice and tends to run out of breath quite quickly when she is talking because she doesn’t breathe deeply while talking.

She struggles with anxieties and nervous ticks that she is unaware of the origins of.

She is not very self-analytical.

She is very captivating. A perfect mix of childlike beauty and expressive cheerfulness.

She often has a round face with short hair that frames her face. If she does have long hair she may like to have bangs.

She has apple cheeks, deep-set slanted eyes, and a delicate chin.

Her nose is straight and pronounced.

Her ears are a bit oversized and pointy like an elf's.

She has luscious lips that always seem to be glossed even if she's not wearing any.

She has seemly perfectly straight and white teeth.

Even if she is petite she still carries herself like she is someone who is tall. She likes to act tough and sturdy regardless of her size.

She usually has a small waist with voluptuous hips, butt, and thighs.

Her bottom half is much more structured than her dainty top half.

She may complain about having chubby thighs and too much of a bubbly butt.

Her feet and hands tend to be small and childlike.

She has very sensitive nipples and she likes them to be played with in sex.

Her vagina tends to be tighter than others and more shallow which makes men who have smaller penis’ feel great.

She has soft skin that tends to bruise rather easily.

She tends to be klutzy and will often walk into corners or doors.

Sex + Sexuality (what they are like in bed and what they look for in a mate):

Gemini Woman Interested in Men:

When she is young she is often interested in an older, slick, shady type of male figure. She will not even bat an eye at a more innocent man because they are too easy to seduce.

She is very eager to play in sex. She has the mentality of “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine”

More than any other sign she tends to fall in love at first sight.

She tends to lose her head when she is in love.

She loves to revolt against the rules so, she tends to go for a partner that will make the people in her life worried.

Older men tend to target her more often than any other sign.

She wants to please people so much that she will do almost anything to seek validation.

She may be susceptible to drugs because she wants something that will ease the pain of her feeling like she is never enough.

Once she gets older her type tends to change. She starts to go for more non-threatening guys who seem more like a friend than anything else.

She will like to start her relationships out as friends and then move into lovers as time progresses.

She wants to be stimulated mentally and to find a mate who shares the same interests as her so she can bounce her never-ending surplus of ideas off of them.

When she is older and more mature she wants to wave goodbye to anything that was dysfunctional in her past and she then will become a part of her partner's family rather than her own.

She is very picky about the type of family she will marry because she wants to become one of them.

She wants someone who comes from a family with strong parental influence, in contrast to what she might consider the stifling force of her own family.

She would like to work with her partner but if they do not work together she will still take on the role of the information center in their relationship. If you ever want to get to her partner, you must go through her first.

When she has kids she will want to be the control center for them. She will plan everything and anything in their lives which will end up with them labeling her as the “overbearing” mother.

She often times will choose a mate that has questionable social skills so they can rely on her to be the front man in their relationship.

She will never be in a relationship where the man thinks he has some say over everything she does.

She will keep her partner on a short leash.

When it comes to sex, she tends to pretend to be naive.

She doesn’t like to go too deep into sexual proclivities. She would much rather keep it light and superficial. She will not be pressured into something she doesn’t want to do.

She tends to not like to participate in the act much rather preferring to let her partner do all the work. However, she will make up for this with her enthusiasm.

She is the perfect ingenue that embodies the “teach-me-teach-me” attitude that some men adore in sex.

She wants to be taken under her man's wing in sex, allowing him to think of himself as her mentor.

It is in her nature to portray herself as the good girl going bad.

She can be rather adventurous in sex. Liking to try many different positions or acts.

She likes to be physically teased, the element of surprise is very arousing to her.

She may like to be tied down but only when she is with someone who she trusts.

Her lover must always remain alert and flexible to her ever-changing moods.

She likes to be on top, where she can control the pace and positioning.

She wants a guy who wants to pleasure her in the bedroom. She has no patience for a selfish man in bed.

She tends to be bossy in the bedroom. She forgets that her lover's role isn’t to only do her bidding.

She likes a man who has a strong feminine side. She likes the idea of overpowering him.

If she is ever open to being in a threesome it will only be with two men rather than a man and a woman. This is because she wants to be the only focus of the group.

Gemini Woman Interested in Women:

The gay Gemini woman is loud and proud.

She is likely to bring her girlfriend with her to family gatherings while wearing matching outfits and making a show of their bond.

She tends to seek out people who are older than her. She is drawn to a more mature crowd, emulating if not outright imprinting on glamorous girls.

She is drawn to sunny golden girls whom she hopes will dote on her with that same sense of sisterly affection.

She will typically only associate with a highly presentable crowd this is true for her love life as well.

She is enticingly androgynous in look and demeanor.

She is a tenderhearted toughie who wants to be romanced by a lover but also likes to call the shots.

She and her invariably gorgeous girlfriend will generally be attached to the hip, attending what they deem to be significant social events.

She likes dressing for a date, sharing a mirror, and swapping jewelry and accessories with her mate.

In a sense her lover is like a sister she never had- even when she has them, the association is characterized by rivalry more than camaraderie.

She can be twinsy with her lover to the extreme. Opting for matching outfits and matching hairstyles.

She likes to buy her lover little gifts that she sees throughout the day just because.

She is the queen of little getaways.

When it comes to sex, the atmosphere is everything to her. She will meticulously clean her space and then strew it with candles, which, along with her myriad of mementos, framed pictures, beauty products, and other personal effects.

It’s all about the mood and buildup rather than the act itself.

She wants to spend hours arousing one another with fingertips, inhaling the pleasure and thus allowing the sensation to spread over the entirety of her gooseflesh.

When it comes to toys, she will do the strapping on, however, if it is important to her partner she will be the sub. However, she typically prefers to take a pass at being passive.

Clitoral orgasms are what she prefers.

She is rather impatient and doesn’t like to beat around the bush. In sex, once she finds her lover's trigger she will lock onto it and not let go until they have had a few orgasms. This is how she likes it in return too.

She loves to flirt and will often do it with just about anyone to talk to.

She plays harmless mind games with her lover. Liking to make them jealous just because it will make things more exciting in the bedroom later.

#astrology and sex #astrology observations #astrology #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces #aphrostarot

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herrscherrofyatta · 2 years

Text

Splintered Heart

Chapter 14

Pairing: Kazuha x reader, Ayato x reader (could be both in a way?)

Genre: Arranged marriage, fluff, angst, multiple endings

✧this a Fu Hua theme blog✧

Standing in front of the door, you let out a shaky breath, not from how tight the kimono felt but rather from nervousness, it felt like getting married once again except your best friend wasn't by your side this time.

Glancing at the picture on the wall from that day, you take a deep breath before pushing the doors open and everyone turns to look at you.

"Gahhhh, lady Y/n looks so beautiful!" The staff from earlier who helped you put on some of the accessories squeals on the side as you reach the table.

"You look beautiful," Albedo comments as Lumine agrees with him as Ayato helps you sit down, making sure not to damage your clothes.

Your wedding kimono, although it was packed away safely, had the colors worn out a bit and the size didn't really fit you now. It was hard to breathe since it felt tight on your chest and waist.

It seems like Ayato caught your discomfort, "is something wrong?"

You let out a hum, pulling on the clothes to feel a bit more loose, "it's a bit tight in some areas," you comment, "and a little hard to breathe."

"We'll have it fixed to your measurements," Ayato says but you shake your head. "No it's fine, I was thinking of getting another kimono with the same design since I would like this one to stay in its condition."

"Are you sure?" You nod your head, looking away from him back to facing the rest.

You never thought you would wear this again but here you are, "is there anything particular you want to have in this redo?" Albedo asks you two.

"Firstly, I want to remove my family from this, I no longer have any ties to them." You say, pondering a bit before your face lights up, "I think it would be best to just have us, Ayaka, Thoma and Tomo in it. Anyone else that was in that picture was anyone I didn't know, some people from other clans and things like that."

"I agree, I had no heart to deny anyone from attending the wedding since we were so young and it would look rather inappropriate for us to not invite anyone from the other clans at the time". Ayato agrees, shaking his head at your words. "I think it would be fitting for us just to be in it, people who we have known for a long time now."

"Oh! We can add the staff as well, the are family after all!" You added.

Albedo writes everything down, just below a sketch of you in the wedding kimono. "I see, it will be done, just tell me when you want me to come over so you all can pose for me."

"Of course," you look at Ayato, smiling a bit, "it looks like we have to put aside our duties for a few days once we agree on the date." He chuckles but nods his head nevertheless. "I suppose you're right about that."

You two are pleased with the outcome, it was better to make that memory into something you could look back at with a smile.

No one's pov

A figure watched from afar, biting on their nails as they glared at the scene in front of them as the air around them reeks with jealousy and rage.

They needed to start a plan again to wipe the smiles off their faces, they wanted to see the h/c haired woman drown in her own misery again once like years ago.

They wanted revenge against the Kamisato clan for ruining their clan, their family name….the honor they once had. It was all stripped away once the head married Y/n 5 years ago.

Maybe they could poison the water with a deadlier substance since from this angle, it looked like the woman was expecting again so they cause her to get a miscarriage.

They watched as the couple stood up, excusing themselves from their guests and if it was even possible for them to be enraged. Y/n was wearing the kimono she wore to her wedding while Ayato escorted her inside, holding her by the waist before they walked inside the building.

"Hey, what are you doing standing here?" A guard finally asked, approaching them and they jumped, trying to find an excuse.

"Um, I'm here to see my older sister! She's Lord Ayato's wife!" The figure finally exposes themselves, smiling at the guards innocently but they didn't fall for it.

"Lady Y/n has no family besides the Kamisatos, leave before we arrest you for putting the clan in danger, who knows what the scums of the L/n clan are planning." They stand sternly, placing their polearms in front of them as a sign for the woman to step back and leave immediately.

There would be no way history would repeat themselves now that it was clear that the fallen L/n clan was beginning to stir trouble again. "We have to inform everyone."

"There's no need."

They look back to see Ayato standing there, "we are already aware, just be more alert and cautious."

"Yes!"

Ayato walks back inside, deciding to leave the three who were having a conversation between themselves and goes to check up on Y/n who was putting everything back.

He finds her staring a journey that once belonged to Tomo,she had yet to read the context inside of it as she was just not quite ready for it.

He sits beside her, saying nothing as she puts the book inside the box, folding the haori before setting it next to her. "I'll send the festival plans for approval, I just hope it doesn't get rejected simply because of why it was created for." She says, sighing.

It goes quiet but he knows that Y/n was trying to find the right words.

"I'm tired…of everything." He looks down at her, frowning upon seeing the distant look in her eyes. ".....why did he come back now? All this time and he chose yesterday."

She looks at Ayato, placing a hand on her chest.

She grabs her clothes tightly, tugging on them as her eyes begin to glimmer with growing tears and she hangs her head low, letting out a quiet sob. "why? Why now? Why not years ago when I needed him?"

Her voice trembles, her vision is blurry with tears as the tears continue to fall like raindrops and Ayato lifts his hand up to touch her face. Lifting it up gently, making her look up at him.

Wiping away the tears rolling down her face and in a quiet tone he asks, "do you still love him?"

Y/n slowly shakes her head, "....I don't…at least I don't feel anything for him." She sighs, feeling his hands caress her face softly. "I'm still married to you. It would look bad if I ran up to him at the festival no less, it would ruin the clan's and your reputation-"

"Y/n."

".....they would say you're married with a whor-"

He leans down, placing his forehead on hers and she goes quiet. "Don't finish that sentence, it pains me to hear you talk bad about yourself. Do you remember what I told you when we decided to enter the next step of our marriage?"

She blinks her lashes, trying to remember but her head begins to ache slightly, "... everything's a blur.." she grimaces, holding her head. "I'm sorry."

He smiles understandably, "if you want to return to him….I will not stop you if deep down inside your heart yearns for him."

He pulls back but she stops him yet she can't say a word out, it aches for her to heart that Ayato thought that she would run back to Kazuha when all he caused was her pain.

".....I love you so much to the point where I will let you go if it makes you happy."

Her eyes widened at this and her mind flashes back to their first night together. He had confessed as he hovered over her yet...

In the end, he couldn't, stating that neither of them were ready.

Her face flushes red at his words and she glances up to see that the love and fondness in his eyes were real. "I said these same words months ago when you were in shock and barely functioning, I said them every night….in hopes you would return to us….to me."

She stares at him in disbelief but she makes up her mind, she wants to find Kazuha and finally get answers.

Taking a deep breath, she smiles at him, "you helped me so much for so long, it would be so wrong for me to leave so I want to figure out what went wrong all those years ago and make my decision from there."

Before Ayato could react, he feels a pair of soft lips on his for a moment before they pull away and he's baffled as she pulls away.

Y/n's face is bright red as well as she stands up, "I-I will get ready to draft out the festival! Please, excuse me!" She runs out of the room, leaving Ayato to his thoughts as he touches his lips.

A dazed look on his face as he sits there and his face turns red almost immediately.

Somewhere in Inazuma city

A white haired woman woman who sat outside the porch of her small home, knitting a shawl is interrupted by an all familiar voice.

"Mother, I'm home."

She looks up to see her son. "Kazuha?"

A/n: was a kiss too early....

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