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sattlersquarry · 2 months

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the great divide (steve harrington x fem!reader)

Summary: (Post Season 4 AU, the sequel to orange juice) After your miraculous return to the land of the living, you aren't doing well.

Word Count: ~12k

Warnings: 18+ PLEASE!!!! for language, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. The reader has panic attacks and intrusive thoughts about Not Wanting To Be Alive. If that will be triggering for you please don't read this (read my happier bloom series instead). there's also an allusion to a relapse, slut-shaming, and allusions to sex (although there's no smut, it just gets slightly steamy). this fic is angst + hurt/comfort with an optimistic ending. inspired by noah kahan's music (including this amazing demo on instagram).

a/n: please let me know if i missed any warnings. please don't read this if you think it will be too triggering. the last thing i want is to make someone upset! but writing this was cathartic and helped me work through some things, i think. writing is magical!

🫀🫀🫀

THE GREAT DIVIDE

SOMETIME IN 1987

You aren’t sure how long it’s been since you last saw your friends. It feels like a fucking long time.

You woke up on the ground of the Upside Down, covered in dried blood and terrified at the sight of Vecna towering above you.

He brought you back to life. He wanted to send you back home and use you as a soldier and spy, the same thing he did to Will, Billy, Heather, and countless others.

“If you do this,” Vecna had growled, “You can once again see your family. Your friends. Your beloved Steven. Otherwise…you will die here.”

You refused, not interested in being his lackey. He tried to flay you anyway, but he was weak from the hell Nancy, Steve, and Robin rained down on him, allowing you to escape his clutches.

He stalked you for days, finally catching up to you—but you got the upper hand, using Eddie’s spear to stab him. Repeatedly.

Killing Vecna caused the gates he opened to sew themselves back shut before you could get through. You were glad that your friends no longer had to worry about Vecna and his army of monsters pouring through the four gates, but it meant you were trapped on the wrong side of the universe.

Vecna gone meant the Upside Down could revert back to what it was before he arrived. Now, the sky of the Upside Down was a buttery yellow, and it was much warmer. You saw patches of green grass and flowers starting to grow in various spots around town. But it still felt like a nightmare.

You wander the Upside Down each day with a routine: avoid monsters, forage for food and clean water, and visit the gates to see if any of them reopened. Food and water aren’t as hard to find as you feared, since the world isn’t so much of a poison, desolate nightmare anymore. But the gates stay staunchly shut, much to your chagrin.

You miss your life. You miss Steve. You miss his laugh, his smile, his kisses, his touch. You would do ungodly things to see him again.

You hope he’s okay. Any time you want to give up, you remind yourself that if roles were reversed, Steve would keep fighting to come back to you no matter what.

And, to your pleasant surprise, he does just that.

🫀🫀🫀

AUGUST 1987

It’s been three months since you returned to the land of the living. You’re not taking it well.

Surviving the Upside Down meant constantly being in fight-or-flight, scrambling to find food and clean water while avoiding demo-creature attacks. Without Vecna’s evil influence, the animals weren’t so bloodthirsty—but they still needed to eat.

You were able to avoid them, surviving yourself off disgusting canned food from the Upside Down’s version of the Big Buy and whatever houses you ransacked. It wasn’t very appetizing. It made the meal you were serving up today seem like a 5-star, 5-course delight.

It was neither of those things. It was for a church potluck that your mother had a hand in throwing. Lots of casseroles and carbs. She dragged you along to volunteer in hopes to get you out of the house.

Ever since you left the hospital in May, you’d only ever left the house to go to doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments, and Steve’s place. Your parents wanted to encourage more of a well-rounded life and schedule, and although they’d never admit it, you figured they hoped you’d turn back to your normal self. To the person you were before it all happened.

You think she might have died.

As you plate some macaroni and cornbread for your next patron, you sense eyes on you. You glance over and see two women at a table a few feet away. To your chagrin, they’re gossiping about you.

“I mean, it’s appalling,” an old bat named Shirley hisses. “She claims to have lost her memory after the earthquake and gotten lost, but it’s obvious that she just ran away.”

“Probably thought she was grown up, that she knew better than her parents,” Mildred says with a sniff, adjusting her too-big glasses.

“I can’t believe she left poor Steve Harrington high and dry,” Shirley adds.

Your heart clenches at the fact that these women see you as a villain, as an irresponsible idiot who up and left everyone who loved her out of spite. If they knew the truth…if they knew the nightmare you’d survived…

It only gets worse from there.

“You know what Cynthia told me?” Mildred says. “That her cousin’s roommate’s friend’s brother saw Y/N working a street corner in Manassas. It's just shameful.”

Anger burns through you, hot like hellfire. So, what? You’re not just a flake—you’re a slut to this people now, too? What happened to ‘loving thy neighbor’ and ‘forgiveness’ and all that shit?

“Can I get some more of that?” an elderly man says.

It snaps you back to your task at hand: dishing out food to hungry churchgoers.

“Ah, yeah,” you say. You dump macaroni on his Styrofoam plate. “Sorry. Here you go.”

The man smiles and ambles off. You take a deep breath and try your best to tune out the whispers of the chattering hens.

Your mother must notice the scowl on your face. She makes her way to you, practically floating, as graceful as ever. She’s totally in her element. She deserves a daughter who doesn’t clomp and stumble her way through life. Who doesn’t jump at every loud noise and sleep with a hunting knife under her pillow.

“Doing all right?” your mother asks you, giving you that sympathetic look that you think you might despise by now.

You muster up a smile of your own and nod.

Your mother can’t tell its fake and beams.

“See?” she says. “I knew getting you out of the house would turn that frown upside-down!”

She doesn’t know about the Upside Down. She thinks you got injured in the earthquake, stumbled through the Indiana woodlands, and got found by cops two states over. That you couldn’t remember where you came from due to amnesia, that since they pronounced you dead no one assumed you were the missing girl from Hawkins until your memories came back.

You let her comment slide and fake a smile, figuring it’s better to pretend you’re fine than feel it all.

🫀🫀🫀

That night, you chat with Steve on the phone. He’s gone back to college for the fall semester and you miss him terribly.

He promised he’d come back to Hawkins every other weekend. He knows how hard it’s been for you coming back. Or, he says he knows. Sometimes, you get the idea that he doesn’t really understand.

How could he? Every time he tries to get you to open up about what happened and what you went through, you shut down.

However, when he asks how your day was, you decide to be honest.

“It sucked,” you say. You blow out a huff of air. “These old crones were being total bitches at the church potluck. Apparently, the new conspiracy theory is that I was turning tricks in Virginia.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry Y/N,” Steve says. For some reason, the sympathy in his voice makes you wince.

“But it’s fine,” you say quickly. “I don’t care what they say about me.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line.

“It’s okay if you do, you know,” Steve says, speaking slowly and carefully as if he’s worried about setting you off. (For good reason; you’ve been prone to outbursts of anger lately.)

“I know!” you say, defensiveness seeping into your tone. “But I don’t give a shit. Really.”

“Good,” Steve says. But he sounds unconvinced. “You shouldn’t.”

Another pause. It lasts a little too long for your liking. You clear your throat.

“I should probably shower and head to bed,” you say. “It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, totally,” Steve says. You don’t understand why he sounds almost intrigued by the prospect of your boring nighttime routine until he says, “A shower with you sounds like heaven right now…”

Shit. You’re really not in the mood for phone sex. Even if that’s not what Steve is angling for, just slightly flirty banter doesn’t sound fun to you either.

Steve has been a total gentleman ever since you got back. You’ve kissed a little, but anytime he tries to take it further, you stop him. As much as you longed for him in every sense while in the Upside Down, you don’t feel ready to re-engage in those kinds of activities—like you’ve been shot back to the insecure, unconfident person you were before you started dating Steve.

He respects those boundaries and never, ever presses for more. But you worry he’s getting bored and wants to get back into old habits, possibly evidenced by his shower comment.

You’re a coward. You don’t tell him outright that you’re not in the mood, afraid he’ll have an out-of-character reaction and chew you out for being a prude or a tease.

“Huh?” you say. Steve starts to repeat his salacious comment, but you interrupt with: “Bad…connection…can’t…better…”

You hang up the phone and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

🫀🫀🫀

OCTOBER 1987

It’s a Thursday in October, and you’re taking a trip for the first time in a long time.

“You have everything you need?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Toothbrush? Extra socks? Lambchop?”

You huff and roll your eyes, crossing your arms like a petulant teenager.

“Mom! I’m an adult. I do not need a stuffed animal.”

“But you packed her, right?”

You mumble out a “Yes” as she pulls up to the parking lot near Steve’s apartment building.

You applied for spring admission at the University of Indiana. Your lovely boyfriend invited you to stay with him for a few days so he could show you around campus for homecoming weekend.

Tonight is the unofficial campus tour with “Tour Guide Steve.” Tomorrow, you’ll help him and his friends put the finishing touches on a homecoming parade float, and Saturday is the big football game.

Before your disappearance and assumed death, your parents were insanely strict about you staying the night with Steve and wouldn’t have allowed it. Now, they’ve mellowed out—but you hate thinking it’s because of some kind of twisted pity.

Steve must have seen your mom’s minivan pull up from his apartment window, because he jogs over to you before you’ve even grabbed your bag from the trunk.

“Hey, babe!” he says with a beaming grin; the picture of exuberance. You can feel his excitement roll off him in waves. You feel like an asshole for matching his energy. Even though you’re excited for time with Steve, you have a pit in your stomach at the thought of being away from home for so many days.

Of course, if you get accepted to U of I, you’ll be away from home for weeks at a time. You try not to think about that.

Steve hugs you tightly, and you hope he can’t sense your apprehension.

He seems not too, still smiling as he gives your mom a quick hug and then offers to carry your duffel bag for you.

You give your mom a hug goodbye, promising to call if you want to get picked up early.

You and Steve wave as your mom drives away. After dropping your bag off at his apartment, Steve takes you on an abridged campus tour that ends at the dining hall. He wants to introduce you to his friends.

He has friends here. Of course he does, you’re glad he does. No one should feel like they don’t have friends, or like their girlfriend is their only friend. But what does it mean that your boyfriend is your only friend lately?

Nancy’s off at Emerson. As for the Hawkins crew, Jonathan’s busy with family stuff, helping Joyce and Hopper renovate their new house. Eddie’s preoccupied with his band, trying to get Corroded Coffin off the ground after a he-was-accused-of-murder hiatus. And Robin’s a student at Roane County Community College, spending her days with marching band and classes and clubs and work.

They’ve started inviting you to things, and sometimes you go. You usually don’t have much fun, distracted with your own anxieties and unable to think of anything interesting to say.

So, the fact that Steve seems to have moved on from everything so easily and has a pack of friends at college makes you feel pathetic, even though it shouldn’t.

At the dining hall, Steve introduces you to his buddies. When Steve lived on-campus last semester, Gus was his roommate. Now Steve’s moved into his own apartment off-campus, but the boys still hang out often and play together on a club basketball team.

Jessica is Gus’ girlfriend. She has a kind smile and compliments your sweater.

The last friend in their clique is Rochelle. She’s tall and slender, like a supermodel. Apparently, she and Jessica grew up together and are good friends.

Everyone greets you happily when Steve introduces you—except Rochelle, who looks you up and down like she’s inspecting you. It makes you uneasy.

You immediately start to dislike her more when she laughs loudly at Steve’s jokes and squeezes his shoulder flirtatiously.

“You are tew much, Harrington,” Rochelle says, flipping her shiny hair over her shoulder.

It makes you feel tense and jealous and angry and sick all at once.

You’re completely content to listen in silence while the others chat, but then Jessica asks where you go to school.

“Oh, um, here, in the spring,” you say. “Uh, hopefully.”

“That’s awesome!” Gus says. “You get the full Hoosiers homecoming experience a whole semester before having to pay tuition.”

You chuckle and smile. Any good feelings you have about this interaction come crashing down when Rochelle asks, “So, like, if you aren’t a student right now, what do you do?”

“She’s working at Sonic,” Steve says. “Saving up money. Right babe?”

You turn to him, face falling. You’re not working. You tried to apply for a job at Sonic and had a panic attack when you saw the gap in your resume from your 15 months in the Upside Down, so you roller-skated your way home to unemployment.

Did you not tell Steve that? You suppose you “forgot” to tell him about that panic episode.

“Uh, actually no,” you say, furrowing your brow. “Not anymore. I’m just taking a semester off.”

Surprise flashes behind Steve’s eyes, but he recovers quickly. He throws an arm around your shoulders and says, “Right, of course.”

The rest of the conversation is mostly you smiling and nodding along to the funny stories and inside jokes the group shares. When you and Steve get back to his place later that evening, you apologize for not updating him on the Sonic situation sooner.

Steve waves away your apology.

“Don’t even worry about it,” he says.

“But I feel bad,” you say, fidgeting with your fingers while you sit next to him on the couch. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you.”

(You didn’t truly forget. You were embarrassed and didn’t want him to know.)

“These things happen,” Steve says. “I totally get it. For a few months after Vecna and…you, my brain was like scrambled eggs. I’d drink myself to a coma every other night. I definitely didn’t have the sharpest mind.”

You appreciate him for understanding. Except you feel shitty because you’re lying to him about forgetting. It’s a vicious cycle.

The two of you put on a movie, and while you’re lying on the couch with him, you start thinking of something you haven’t done in a long, long time.

You lightly trace your hand up and down the arm that’s wrapped around your middle.

“Hey,” you say quietly. “Would you want to…”

You clear your throat.

“What?” Steve asks.

You aren’t sure how to ask for what you want without sounding wholly desperate and/or pathetic and/or like the horniest bastard alive.

“Go to your room?” you say.

“Sure, if you want, we can go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”

You laugh lightly.

“No, I mean. You know.”

You wiggle your eyebrows and Steve’s jaw drops. Mouth agape, like a goldfish, his brains seems to short circuit.

The air is charged with something you haven’t felt in a long time.

“Are you sure?” Steve says, a barely audibly whisper. His hand cups your cheek so delicately, and you feel cherished. Love. Seen.

“I am,” you whisper back, before pulling him closer to you for a kiss.

It’s the kind of kiss you dreamed about while you were trapped in another universe.

It makes you feel electric, the same way your first kiss had. That iconic kiss happened because Steve found out you’d never played spin the bottle. In his kitchen late, late at night, he took an empty soda bottle and spun it on the countertop.

He had maneuvered it just right and stopped it with his hand when the bottle neck pointed right at you, like a compass needle finding truth north.

“Well, what do you know,” Steve had said at the time, with a dopey grin on his face. “It’s you.”

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad,” you had quipped, “you could’ve just asked.”

And then you two kissed like crazy, amongst other things.

Back in the present, all your hesitancies and qualms about re-engaging in intimacy and sex with Steve are thrown out the window when you feel his lips on yours.

Giddy as if it’s the first time (because, in a way, it kind of is), the two of you break apart and practically race down the hall to his bedroom. Thank goodness for no roommates, because when you’re in there, Steve slams the door and presses you against it to kiss some more, closing the gap between the metaphorical great divide that you’ve placed between you both.

You tug at his shirt, and he pulls it off before the two of you stumble into his bed.

Things heat up, and they’re going great. Steve is kissing and biting your neck, probably leaving a hickey or two, but you don’t mind. His hands are gripping your waist, practically leaving scorch marks in their wake.

You’re loving this. You’re having a great time.

Until you’re not. The trains of thought in your brain all rush from the station at the same time, colliding at a junction on the tracks.

What if you give Steve an infection? Not an STD, but like, an Upside Down sickness. You could be a carrier and not even realize it. Is that a possibility? What did Dr. Owens say last time you saw him?

He advised you not to get pregnant. He said there’s a possibility your future children could have birth defects after your time in the Upside Down. Birth defects! You’re only 21 years old and your body is poisoned. Not enough to harm you in the short term, but the long term effects on you (and your progeny) could be terrible to deal with.

But Steve really wants kids. What if he finds out you can’t give him children and he leaves you? You really, really don’t want him to leave you.

You don’t realize it, but you start breathing a little harder. To Steve, it seems like you’re insanely turned on. Mentally, your brain is on a different plane of existence.

He’s going to leave you because he’s better off without you. He doesn’t realize it yet but one day, one day. He will.

Vecna was right. Vecna said Steve would get tired and bored of you. That’s why the monster tried to recruit you, to flay you. That’s why he pursued you across the Upside Down for days, hunting you like a dog until he cornered you at the quarry.

Steve finally takes notice of your erratic breathing pattern. You’re not reacting how you usually do to his kissing. He ceases the lovefest and leans up on his elbows.

“Y/N? You okay?”

You don’t hear him. You continue to hyperventilate, your eyes screwed tightly shut.

And when you stabbed the beast through the chest with the spear Eddie left behind, you didn’t even feel sorry.

Is that the kind of person you are? A sick, violent freak?

But it was self-defense!

But if you hadn’t tried to draw the demobats away, you wouldn’t have been in that situation. You went against the plan. You caused all the bad things that happened to you.

You’re a bad person. A bad omen. A bad girlfriend. A bad daughter. A—

“Hey, can you hear me? Y/N?”

Steve’s soft, slightly panicked, voice brings you back down to reality.

You nod, eyes still shut.

“Sorry,” you say. “I don’t—I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay,” Steve says, still speaking quietly as if he’s afraid to scare you. You don’t feel his hands on you anymore, but you sense he’s still close. “It’s okay. Can you sit up? I think you should drink something.”

You sit up slowly and open your eyes. Steve looks frazzled, but he musters up a smile when he hands you a glass of cold water.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

You don’t respond, just take a sip.

“Can we just go to bed?” you say after a moment, voice cracking.

Steve nods and gives your knee a gentle squeeze.

“Of course. And, hey, listen, we don’t have to have sex anytime soon, okay?”

“But—”

“No, seriously,” Steve says, shaking his head vehemently. “I mean, of course I like having sex with you. Probably too much.”

You snort and shake your head, a small smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

“But you know I don’t mind waiting. Right?”

You nod.

“Yeah, I know.”

But as you lie awake, tossing and turning, your brain continues feeding you lie after lie, and you find yourself believing the opposite. Prude, tease. Bad girlfriend. Bad person.

🫀🫀🫀

The next morning, you, Steve, Gus, Jessica, and Rochelle work on a homecoming float for the club basketball team the boys are on.

It’s fun at first. The parking lot is filled with floats for all different student organizations. Someone is playing music a bit too loud, but the energy is electric.

It takes a turn when Steve rushes off with Gus to get more supplies.

While you’re kneeling by the float trying to staple tinsel trim around the edge, you hear Rochelle and Jessica whispering conspiratorially on the other side. They can’t see you due to a large papier mâché basketball blocking you from view.

You're awash with embarrassment, feeling warm head to toe, when you realize they’re talking about you.

“You know what Mollie told me?” Rochelle said. “When she and Steve were hooking up last year, he called her Y/N, like, three times.”

Your heart shrinks. You didn’t know Steve had been involved with anyone while you were gone. In fact, he said the opposite.

“That’s kind of sweet though, when you think about it,” Jessica muses. “But I wonder what caused Steve and Y/N to break up and then get back together. I’ve never dreamed of breaking up with Gus.”

“I heard some other super freaky stuff about her,” Rochelle says. “My sorority sister, Tina, is from Hawkins too. Apparently, Y/N had, like, amnesia or some shit after that earthquake thing. And she was like missing.”

“Damn,” Jessica says. “That’s crazy. How’d she remember stuff and get back home?”

“Who gives a shit?” Rochelle scoffs. “That’s obviously a cover story. Tina said the real story is probably something much simpler. Like she ran away to become a stripper but couldn’t hack it because she doesn’t have a good body. And, well, we’ve seen that firsthand.”

Anger and shame courses through your veins, and you tug on the hem of your sweatshirt. You’re comforted only a miniscule amount when you hear Jessica come to your defense.

“Don’t be such a jerk. And we have no idea what really happened so stop making shit up, mkay?”

“I’m just repeating what I heard. But Tina’s right, her whole deal is so weird. I can’t believe she’s Steve’s girlfriend. He deserves better.”

Those words echo in your head. He deserves better. He deserves better. You’ve been thinking that a lot yourself lately.

You don’t care if Jessica and Rochelle see you when you toss your stapler onto the ground and stomp off.

“Oh, shit,” you hear Jessica say. “Nice going, Roche.”

“It’s not my fault! I didn’t know she was creeping around!”

As you beeline through the throngs of float-makers, you bump into Steve, holding a box of glittery something. He grins at you.

“Hey, where’s the fire?”

When he notices the grim look on your face, he sobers up.

“Whoa, what happened?”

“Who’s Mollie?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

Steve pales. He swallows hard, grip on the box loosening. He gingerly sets it on the ground next to him and shrugs.

“No one.”

“Liar.”

Steve glances around before leading you away from the crowd to a secluded spot on the outskirts of the parking lot.

“She really was no one,” Steve repeats. “Just some girl I had a class with. I was lonely and she liked me, so we went out twice.”

“I heard Rochelle say you hooked up with her,” you say. You cross your arms and try to keep angry tears at bay. “You told me you didn’t find anybody else.”

“I didn’t!” Steve says, a little louder. He clears his throat. “I meant that. We almost hooked up, but I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

You sigh and shake your head. You want to believe him so badly. But the voice in your head that’s been so cruel to you lately isn’t convinced.

“Do you still think about her?”

Steve scrunches up his face, wholly confused at your line of questioning.

“What? No, of course not. Like I said, we hung out twice, had one near-miss, and then never spoke again. Babe, is everything okay?”

He reaches a hand to your arm and you flinch away. Your action makes him frown deeper.

You rub your forehead.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say. “Just tired.”

A beat. You think Steve’s going to accept your answer, until: “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not lying!” you say, irritation creeping into your tone. “I’m just tired. Okay, Steve?”

Steve fidgets from foot to foot. He’s starting to look as agitated as you feel. With an annoyingly calm, even voice, he says, “I think you’re not being honest.”

“And I think you should shut up,” you fire back, before you can stop yourself.

Steve’s face contorts into a frown, the line between his brows deepening.

“Whoa, what the hell?” he says. “Why are you being like this?”

“Because I just found out you lied about not being involved with someone while I was gone!”

Steve rubs his face with his hands, as if he’s trying to scrub away whatever he’s feeling. He takes a deep breath, another one, and then finally speaks.

“Y/N, I thought you were dead,” he says, voice strained. “You can’t seriously be jealous of me spending time with someone else because to my knowledge, I was never going to see you again.”

You know you should apologize for your outburst. Tell him about your insecurities, now dialed up to 1000 thanks to Rochelle’s comments. Rejoin his friends at the float like the normal girlfriend he probably wishes you were.

But instead, you find yourself voicing one of the fears that’s been swirling in your brain since June.

“It would be so much easier for you if that was still the case, right?” you ask, softly.

“Excuse me?” Steve asks.

“Do you ever regret it?” you ask. “Bringing me back?” He doesn’t react, doesn’t move, doesn’t blink. You clear your throat and, louder, add, “Because it would be so much simpler for you to date a girl like Mollie or Rochelle.”

“Jesus, Y/N,” Steve groans. “Don’t bring Rochelle into this.”

“Why not? She’s obviously obsessed with you!”

“Yeah?” Steve scoffs. “Well, I don’t like her. I like you.” He shakes his head, as if he’s short-circuiting, and corrects, “I love you!”

Too late. You already heard the Freudian slip of your worst nightmare. He doesn’t regard you in the same way he did before your so-called death. You’ve changed too much.

You shake your head vehemently.

“No,” you say. “No. You loved the girl I was before it all happened.”

“You’re still the same girl!”

“I’m not!” you shout. You’re so angry, so upset, so emotional, you can’t stop. You’re floating above your body and watching yourself speak when you say, “I’m not. She’s gone, and sometimes I wish you’d never brought me back so I wouldn’t feel like this.”

Steve goes still once more. When he finally replies, his voice is dangerously quiet: “How dare you say that.”

You hadn’t expected that. You’d expected him to swoop in with comforting platitudes. To hug you and promise it would all be okay. To truly hear the words you’re saying—the thoughts you’ve been too afraid to voice in therapy, thoughts you’ve sugarcoated in your mind to lessen that bitter feeling on your tongue when you finally speak them aloud.

“What?” you whisper. Your eyes sting, unshed tears collecting on your lash line.

“How dare you say that,” Steve says, shaking his head. He’s angrier than you’ve ever seen him. He runs a hand through his hair and barks out a laugh so hollow, you can practically hear the echo in his ribcage. “That’s so fucking selfish that you wish you were still down there. I was miserable without you. I didn’t want to go on. I didn’t think I could!”

He's not getting what you’re trying to say. You open your mouth to reply, to apologize, to try and fix things, but Steve continues.

“So for you to be so callous, to think so little of me, to think I’d rather date some vapid airhead just because it would be ‘simpler’? To think I somehow can’t love you anymore because of what you went through? That’s just…bullshit!”

You heave out a sob as tears roll down your cheeks. Steve’s expression morphs into one of guilt. He swallows hard.

“Y/N, I—”

“You don’t get to tell me my feelings are bullshit!” you snap. You sniffle and roughly wipe your tears away, before jabbing a finger into his chest and pressing in. “Ever since I’ve been back, it’s all about how everyone else feels about it. You and my parents are so much happier, and you seem to think I can snap back to how I was before and forget it all happened and be grateful that I survived. Well, I can’t!”

Despite your distance from the parade planning festivities, you see a few curious students glance in your direction. You can’t be bothered to care.

“I don’t know how to go on with life like normal after 15 months in that hell, and no one understands what I’m going through!” you yell. “No one has been through that! And I’m miserable and scared and anxious and I’m lying to my therapist week after week because I can’t even verbalize what I’m thinking without feeling like I’m losing my goddamn mind. So sorry if sometimes I wish all this would go away.”

Steve’s facial expression cracks your heart in seventeen pieces. He looks devastated and confused.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, somewhat cautiously. “You’re right. I’m not handling this well, not seeing it from your point of view. But this is the most you’ve expressed how you’re feeling about it all. For the past few months, I—I don’t know. I thought you were feeling okay.”

You sniffle again and shrug.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Steve says. He clears his throat. “This is good, I think. Well, no, it’s not good that we’re screaming at each other in the quad. But getting our feelings out is—”

“I want to go home,” you say, cutting him off.

Steve closes his eyes, sighs softly, and nods.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll drive you back to Hawkins tonight.”

“No, I want to go now,” you say, voice cracking as you try not to cry harder. “I want my mom to come get me.”

Hurt flashes on Steve’s features. “Babe, are you sure? I really don’t mind. I want to, actually. The drive will give us more of a chance to talk.”

But you’re too tired and overwhelmed to talk anymore. Steve understands, though his shoulders are slumped as the two of you walk back to his apartment.

He offers to pack your bag while you call your house. Your mom picks up on the second ring.

“Hello, Y/L/N residence.”

“Mom?” you sniff. “Can you come get me?”

“Oh, of course sweetie!” You hear the jingle of car keys. “Wait, are you crying? What’s wrong? Was it another nightmare?”

“I just don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Did you and Steve have a fight?”

“His friends were really mean,” you say quietly, deciding not to disclose that you indeed got in an argument with Steve. “This girl, Rochelle, said one of her friends from Hawkins is telling everyone I was a stripper.”

“Oh, don’t you listen to that.”

You can’t hold back tears as you begin to cry harder.

“How come everyone makes up those dumb rumors?” you say through sobs. “And if people on campus already know them, how much worse will it be if I’m a student here?!”

Your mom soothes you over the phone before promising to get there as quickly as possible. As you hang up the phone, Steve comes in from down the hall, frowning and carrying your now-packed duffel. He doesn’t even try to be subtle about his eavesdropping when he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me Rochelle said that to you?”

You shrug and look down at your feet.

Steve closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I keep replaying our conversation in my head,” he says, “and I feel like an ass.”

“You’re not, Steve.”

“No! I am. I absolutely am. You were honest and vulnerable, and I immediately got mad. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say flatly. Admittedly, you’re not sure if you forgive him yet. But you know you didn’t treat him well either, so you say, “I’m sorry too. I was insensitive. I know you had a hard time while I was gone—”

“But it’s nothing compared to what you were dealing with,” Steve says. He steps closer to you and intertwines your hands together. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?”

“My mom’s already on her way,” you say. “And you should rest up. Tomorrow’s the parade, and the homecoming game.”

“I don’t need to go to the game.”

“Steve—”

“I’d rather come back to Hawkins this weekend,” he continues. “Spend more time with you. Talk things through, you know? Maybe I can just ride with you and your mom, and Munson can bring me back Sunday.”

He’s sweet. But you aren’t sure how to tell him that you really, really don’t want to be around him right now. You don’t want to be around anyone, really.

You take a deep breath, gently drop his hands, and say, “I think I need some space.”

You can’t look Steve in the eye, but you hear the pain in his voice when he says, “Oh. Um, okay. Yeah. Of course. Space.”

You two sit in awkward silence while you wait for your mom to arrive. When she gets there, Steve continues to be a gentleman, carrying your bag for you and politely making small talk with your mom. He gives you a hug goodbye, but it doesn’t linger the way his hugs usually do.

As your mom drives away, you watch your boyfriend get smaller and smaller in the side mirror.

Before leaving, you promised him you’d call him that night.

You conveniently “forget” to do that.

He leaves a message at 9:37 p.m., asking you to call him back.

You don’t.

🫀🫀🫀

NOVEMBER 1987

“Hey, babe. It’s Steve. Again. I know we agreed on ‘space’ but I haven’t heard from you in three weeks…I don’t want to rush or smother you, but I’d really like to talk, even if it’s for, like, five minutes. So please call me back. I love you, Y/N.”

“Hey Y/N. Are you doing okay? Robin says she saw you and your mom at the store the other day and you just seemed kind of…out of it. To be honest, I’m worried about you. Listen, even if you don’t…even if we…even if you’ve decided you don’t want to be with me anymore, or something, I still care about you. And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. Please call me. Bye. Love you.”

“Hi Y/N, I’m coming back to Hawkins for Thanksgiving. Can I come by after you and your parents have dinner? I want to check in. On how you’re doing, and on how you’re feeling about ‘us.’ Let me know, okay? Bye, Y/N.”

“Hey. I’m going to swing by your place after I’ve finished Thanksgiving dinner with the Buckleys. Robin told me you’ve been avoiding her too. And Eddie, and Jonathan. I know you’re going through a tough time, but don’t try to do it alone. That’s a lesson I learned the hard way last year. I’ll see you tonight, all right?”

🫀🫀🫀

You’ve spent the past month and a half wallowing. All you really do is sleep, eat, shower, and take short walks around your neighborhood for exercise. Any time Steve calls the house phone, you tell your parents to let it ring and let it go to voicemail.

It’s shitty of you, but you aren’t sure how to dig yourself out of this hole that you’ve found yourself in. You’re still feeling rather undeserving of Steve.

So when he shows up on your doorstep on Thanksgiving, wearing that maroon sweater that you’ve always just adored, the first thing you do is apologize for your radio silence. Then, you offer him pumpkin pie.

“I won’t say no,” he says. “As long as you split it with me.”

While your parents cuddle on the couch and watch It’s A Wonderful Life, you and Steve sit on the kitchen counter and eat slices of pie with whipped cream.

For a few minutes, you exchange small talk and pleasantries. Then, Steve gets down to business.

“How have you been doing, really?” Steve asks.

“Fine. Just tired.”

“Y/N,” Steve says with a sigh. “Please just be honest with me.”

You suck in a breath.

“Okay. You want honesty? I’m having a really hard time.”

“I know,” Steve says gently. “And I want to help. Can you talk to me about what’s going on?”

You consider it. You consider wrenching your heart open for him and admitting all your fears and insecurities. But last time you broached this subject with Steve and tried to be wholly honest about what you were feeling, you didn’t explain it right and he took it the wrong way.

And you also hear what sounds like Rochelle’s voice in your mind: He deserves better. He deserves better.

You save yourself the trouble and say, “I need to get my shit together. And I’m not being a very good girlfriend while I do, so I think we need to break up.”

Despite your best efforts to stay strong, you feel tears coming on. Everything only worsens when you hear Steve whisper, “What?”

He deserves better. He deserves better. He deserves better than you.

“I have to focus on myself right now,” you continue as the tears roll down your cheeks. You stab your pie with your fork and say, “I’m sorry. I love you so much—”

“I love you too, Y/N, so I—”

“—but I need to deal with this on my own. It’s not fair of me to treat you like this.” You clear your throat and add, “You deserve someone who can give you everything you want.”

“You’re what I want,” Steve says. You can’t look at him, but you get the impression that he’s tearing up too. “I mean, if this is really what you want, I’ll respect your decision completely, but I just have to know—is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

You don’t want to do this—

—but he deserves better.

“I’m sorry, but no.”

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Steve says after a beat. “Even if we aren’t together anymore, I’m still here for you. You know that, right?”

You nod, still decimating your pie slice with your fork.

“Okay, good.” He sniffles.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

“Sorry. Ah, I mean—”

Steve chuckles, despite everything. You two share an awkward hug goodbye before he leaves.

You stay in the kitchen and hear him wish your parents “Happy holidays.” As you hear the front door open and shut, as you hear his car turn on and drive away, you try to convince yourself this was the correct choice. That shutting him out means he’ll live a happier life without you.

The pit of emptiness like a chasm in your soul will go away eventually, right?

🫀🫀🫀

FEBRUARY 1988

It’s been 3 months since you broke up with Steve.

You decided to defer your U of I enrollment. Steve, being a good friend, calls a few days before the semester starts asking if you’d like help moving into your dorm, and you break the news to him. He understands but sounds disappointed. It makes you feel terrible.

But this is the right choice. You aren’t ready to be away from home, away from your parents, even if it’s just a couple hours away.

You start taking community college classes to fill your time and get some credits, along with working at Bradley’s Big Buy as a stocker. It’s mindless, monotonous work. It’s kind of perfect.

What isn’t so perfect is your therapist, Elaine. She’s nice enough. But she doesn’t seem to get it. You aren’t able to fully tell her what you went through, considering she knows nothing about the Upside Down, so she can’t really help you.

When you start opening up about the dark thoughts worming their way through your mind, Elaine advocates strongly and staunchly for putting yourself out there and making new friends to fill the void. You’re starting to wonder if you’re wasting your time shelling out $50 a week.

You do think a better social life would be good for you, so you invite Robin, Eddie, and Jonathan to come over to your place for a horror movie marathon. (Nancy would be invited too, if she wasn’t away at school.) You’ve rented a D-level slasher trilogy about a man in a hockey mask attacking pageant queens. It’s small potatoes compared to what you’ve actually been through.

Jonathan agrees, but both Robin and Eddie tell you they can’t make it. Robin because she’s got the flu. Eddie because he has band practice all afternoon and into the night.

It stings like a barb ripping you open when you swing by Melvald’s for cheap movie candy and spot the two of them across the street, laughing as they head into the Hawk with…Steve, who must be home from school for the weekend.

So they do want to have a movie night. Just with Steve and not you. Message received.

You wonder if Steve said something to sour you in their eyes. You thought the breakup was amicable. You know he was upset by it, but he respected your decision. And he doesn’t seem like the type to badmouth an ex, especially after all you’ve been through together.

But anxiety rolls through your nervous system the rest of the day. As you and Jonathan watch the crappy movies, you just feel numb.

“Jee-sus!” Jonathan yelps as the killer’s chainsaw hacks through someone’s limb.

He glances your way, eyebrows raising. “What? That didn’t scare you?”

You shrug. “I’ve seen worse.”

Jonathan’s brow furrows. He leans over and pauses the movie.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? We can watch something else. Or, if you’d rather be alone, I can head out.”

You pick at a loose thread on the pillow in your lap.

“Are Robin and Eddie mad at me?” you whisper.

“What?” Jonathan says with a laugh. “You’re, like, the nicest person in a fifty-mile radius. Why would they be mad at you?”

The old you was nice. The current you is moody. But Jonathan is also pretty moody, so maybe your moodiness is baseline in his eyes.

“They both said they couldn’t come tonight,” you continue, “but then I saw them just an hour ago in downtown Hawkins heading into the Hawk with Steve. Why else would they make up excuses not to come unless they were mad?”

Jonathan takes a long, slow sip of his grape soda and shrugs.

“It’s probably because they don’t want you to think they chose Steve over you in the breakup.”

“But that’s exactly what they did!”

“Maybe not,” Jonathan says. “Maybe they just made the plans with Steve before you invited us over and it’s easier to turn down your invitation than cancel on him.”

That’s a very logical way of looking at it, but it still stings feeling like you’ve lost two friends since you and Steve aren’t together anymore.

You and Jonathan continue watching, but his mom calls halfway through the second movie, forcing him to leave early—something about El using telekinesis to turn her bed into a bunk bed and it backfiring horribly.

You try to push your worries out of your mind, but paranoia takes a hold. As you toss and turn in your bed that night, clutching Lambchop for a semblance of comfort, your brain bullies you.

Robin and Eddie are pissed at you. Probably because you haven’t gone to any Corroded Coffin shows since you’ve been back. You’ve been a little preoccupied.

A little selfish, more like. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through. You should still support your friends.

But why? You don’t like drinking alcohol anymore because you don’t like feeling out of control. And the Hideout is the only place Corroded Coffin plays, and that place reeks of booze and cigarettes and bad decisions.

Maybe that’s why Eddie’s mad. Is Robin mad by proxy? Did Steve shit-talk you to her? How did he describe the events of the breakup?

Were you a bad girlfriend? Are you a bad friend? Bad person?

Yes. You’re a bad person.

🫀🫀🫀

You happen to run into Robin on the community college’s campus the following Monday. You can’t help but ask if she’s feeling better.

Her eyes widen and she plasters on a smile.

“O-oh, yeah!” she says. “I’m feeling loads better. Tons! Tons better.”

“Your sinus infection is gone?” you prompt, knowing full well she told you it was the flu.

“Yep! All gone. My sinuses are as healthy as can be. I feel like I could live to be 100!”

You exchange a few more pleasantries and shuffle off.

🫀🫀🫀

MARCH 1988

There’s a dark cloud hovering over your mind. Most days, you’re lethargic. You go to classes and go to work, and you do start going to the Hideout on Tuesday nights with Jonathan and Robin to watch Eddie play with his band.

But that’s the extent of your social life. You’re feeling lonely and drained.

Things take a turn for the worse in March. It was a cold, cold winter in Hawkins, and spring is shaping up to be warmer but just as gloomy. Really bad thunderstorms shake the windowpanes of your house most days, and the streaks of lightning remind you so much of the grayish-yellow Upside Down sky, it makes you sick.

You can’t help but find yourself thinking you want to disappear to escape it all. Not die, exactly. But fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Maybe when you woke up, things would be better.

You try to explain what you’re feeling to Elaine the Therapist, and she doesn’t understand what you meant in the slightest.

“Have you gotten checked for narcolepsy?” she asks.

You give her a tight smile and say you’ll ask your doctor about it at your next checkup.

A bright spot is when Robin invites you to a party at her apartment. You forgot her and Eddie’s little white lie from a few weeks ago and RSVP yes.

The party is going well. You’re having a nice conversation with Jonathan and Eddie when Steve walks in, and he’s not alone.

Your heart sinks to your feet, through the floor, and all the way to the core of the earth when you see Steve is joined by Rochelle.

You don’t even hear any of the conversations happening around you. You quickly excuse yourself to the kitchen for a glass of water—and because you need to be alone.

You get about 15 seconds of a reprieve before Steve enters.

“Listen, it’s not what you think,” he says quickly.

“Hello to you too, Steve,” you say. You can’t even look him in the eye, choosing instead to study the ice cubes in your glass.

“I’m not here with Rochelle,” Steve continues. He runs a hand through his hair. “I mean, yes, she’s here. And I’m here. And we’re here together. But not together together! God, I’m not making any sense, am I?”

“None at all.”

“She needed a ride to her parents’ house for the weekend,” Steve explains. “She lives just forty-five minutes from here. But I guess they were out of town, and she didn’t have a key, so she’s staying with me. And she didn’t want to spend all day in my house alone, so—”

“She’s here,” you finish for him. You finally look him in the eye and force a smile. “That’s fine, Steve. You can hang out with whoever you want.”

“Trust me,” Steve snorts. “I’d rather not be hanging out with her. I’m just doing her a favor because she’s friends with Jessica and Gus.”

Before you can respond, Rochelle saunters into the kitchen. She smiles like a shark—all gums and teeth.

“Oh, it’s you!” she says. “Y/N! How have you been?”

“Fine,” you say politely. “How about you?”

“Oh, just great. Really great. Sad to not see you around campus, though. I thought you enrolled?”

She has the impressive capability of making everything single sentence sound like an insult.

“I’m going to community college instead,” you explain. “But I really should get back out there.”

You give Steve and Rochelle a wide berth before stepping back into the living room.

The rest of the party goes by fine. Except you can’t quite contain your rage watching Rochelle throw herself at Steve all afternoon.

She sits too close to him. She constantly whispers in his ear and giggles, like they’re sharing inside jokes and secrets. While Robin’s putting on a movie for everyone to watch, you swear you even see Rochelle put her hand on Steve’s thigh.

The only thing that makes you feel better is that Steve blocks every one of these advances. While Eddie regales you all with a Corroded Coffin storytime, you even notice Steve's slotted himself in between Robin and the wall, forcing Rochelle to stand off to the side near a potted plant.

When the party’s over, you wish Robin well and try to slip out unnoticed. Unfortunately, Steve has a terrible habit of noticing everything about you, and he follows you out.

“Hey, wait up!” he calls, jogging behind you as you speed walk to your car to avoid the sprinkling rain.

“Sorry, I have to go,” you say, struggling to unlock your car door.

Before you can get it unlocked and make your escape, Steve places a hand over the driver’s side door handle.

“Hold on,” he says. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Well, I have to get home—”

“This’ll take five minutes,” Steve promises. He traces an X over his heart. “Cross my heart, hope to cry.”

You scrunch your nose in confusion. “It’s ‘die.’”

“Huh?”

“It’s ‘Cross my heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye.’”

Steve’s eyes widen and jaw drops, affronted. “Jesus Christ,” he grumbles. “Why would anyone ever want to do that?”

“That’s the point!” you say, and you can’t help but laugh at the appalled look on his face. “You don’t want to do that, so you keep the promise.”

“Ah. Okay, well, I’ll be fast. I just want to see how you’ve been doing these past few months. I—I miss you, you know?”

You swallow hard. The rain’s starting to pick up now. You don’t want to wait too much longer to drive home, or else it’ll be too hard to see. And if you see lightning, you’ll probably have a panic attack behind the wheel, making you a danger to yourself and others.

“I miss you too,” you say. “But I really, really need to get home now.”

You think of leaving it at that, but your heart feels as sad as the look on his face, so you add, “But you can come by my house later tonight and we can talk? Uh, how’s 8 sound?”

Steve’s face brightens. He gives you that smile that always makes your stomach do a backflip.

“I’d like that,” he says.

You smile back and open your car door. Before stepping in, you turn to him and say, “Do not bring Rochelle.”

“Cross my whatever and hope to who-gives-a-shit!” Steve says as he walks backward away from your car. You give him a small wave, which he returns, before getting in the car and driving off.

As you suspected, the drive home is much, much too anxiety-inducing. Thunder seems to shake the whole frame of the car as you drive across town. Rain falls in pails, as if angels are taking buckets and throwing them on your car specifically. Your windshield wipers can barely keep up, and cars are honking and passing you since your fear is causing you to drive about ten under the speed limit.

You try not to let that bother you as your hands grip the wheel for dear life, the muscles from your fingers up to your shoulders impossibly tense. There’s a reason your mom drove you everywhere last summer and fall. Getting back into the habit of operating a motor vehicle isn’t easy, and everything seems to scare you now.

Despite everything, the drive is going fine—until one of the cars passing you cuts a little too close as they swerve back into the right lane. They almost clip your front bumper, which causes you to panic and swerve off the road near the now defunct trailer park.

Your tires squeak on the wet grass and you slam on your breaks, heart pounding. Shuddery breaths draw in, out. In, out. You try and collect yourself and turn your left turn signal on to merge back onto the main road. However, something gray out of the corner of your eye causes you to whip your head in the direction of the trailer park.

This is where you died and were resurrected—well, the version of this in the Upside Down. In Hawkins, the area is cordoned off. No one can live there anymore, thanks to the big cracks in the earth. Once gates, they were now sealed, but they upended some trailers and tore others in two.

You see a flash of movement between two broken trailers. The gates are supposed to be closed, and there aren’t supposed to be Upside Down creatures in Hawkins anymore, but you can’t help but wonder alternatives. You feel compelled to check it out.

You turn off your car’s ignition, grab the flashlight from your glove box, and clamor out, ducking under the “CAUTION” tape and jogging into the park. You squint in the rain, the beam of your flashlight scanning the surrounding area. You step over uneven earth, wondering if you’re wasting your time and should just—

“GRRRRRROWWWLLLL!!!!!”

You whip around and gasp. The gray creature you saw wasn’t a demo-creature, but a mangy, stray dog with muddy fur. It snaps its jaws and you see three little puppies cowering under a bush behind it.

An overprotective mama dog wouldn’t have scared you two years ago. You would’ve known exactly how to handle the situation without freaking out. But now, your fear spikes and you remember the few run-ins with hungry demodogs you had in the Upside Down. The dog is blocking your way back to your car, so you turn on your heel and run in the opposite direction, toward the imposing forest.

You can’t think clearly. Your mind is on fire. All you can think is Danger! Danger! Danger! And it’s keeping you from making any rational decisions.

You swear you hear the dog chasing behind you, snarling and ready to attack. You zig-zag between trees and glance behind to see if you really are being chased.

You lose your footing on slick mud, left ankle twisting painfully as you fall to the ground. Your flashlight skitters out of your grasp and rolls away, blinking out.

Now, you’re stuck in the rain, in the dark, with an injured ankle and no flashlight. Thankfully, the dog wasn’t following. But you feel powerless, hoping you can muster any survival instincts from your time in the Upside Down to make your way back to safety.

🫀🫀🫀

At 7:58 p.m., Steve parks outside your house.

He’s more nervous than he needs to be. He tries to remember that this isn’t a visit to win you back, as much as he wishes it was. No, he’s respecting your decision. But he’s glad he has the chance to just talk to you.

After you dumped him, he spent way too much time overanalyzing that fight you two had in October. It solidified the fact that he was an ass, completely misunderstanding you and getting mad for no good fucking reason.

Admittedly, he was tempted to throw away all his progress and drink away his misery. But he didn’t, channeling that energy toward more productive things. His mind is clearer than it was, and he’s going to make it right this time. Steve wants to check on you, the way his friends checked on him while he was having a tough time. Their support was invaluable.

Steve rings your doorbell, shaking out his umbrella.

The front door swings open. Your father looks expectant, before he frowns.

“Steve, hello,” your father says. “Is Y/N with you?”

Steve’s brow furrows. “Uh, no,” he says. “I’m supposed to meet her here.”

Your father curses and puts his head in his hands.

“Is it her?” your mother says, rushing around the corner with the cordless phone tucked under her shoulder. When she sees Steve, her shoulders slump. She speaks into the phone, “Hopper, she’s still not back.”

“What’s going on?” Steve asks, heart sinking. “Y/N’s missing?”

“She never came back from Robin’s party,” your father says, stepping aside to let Steve in. “You saw her leave, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve says with a nod. His mouth feels very, very dry.

Your mother continues murmuring on the phone with Hopper, and your father continues grilling Steve: “How was she? Did she seem upset?”

“A little nervous, maybe,” Steve says. He swallows hard. “I, uh, I think she was freaked out by the storm.”

You should’ve driven her home, Steve thinks. You idiot. If something happens to her, it’ll be your fault.

“She’s been so quiet lately,” your father says, voice strained. He clears his throat. “And so jumpy. But she said she wanted to start driving again. We thought she was getting better…”

Your father looks like he’s beside himself. Steve is unsure what to say to make things right.

Your mother hangs up the phone and sighs. “Hopper’s going to go look for her,” she says. She chokes out a sob. “Oh, Roger…she’s been so down lately. What if she…”

“Let’s not speculate,” your father says firmly, though he looks anxious about the possibilities.

Your parents decide to drive around looking for you, and Steve joins the search in his own car as well. He can’t sit idly by knowing you’re out there, possibly in distress, possibly in danger.

🫀��🫀

While you’re sitting against a tree trunk trying to shield yourself from the rain, there’s a morbid part of you that’s okay with this.

You wanted something bad to happen. You wanted to be in some kind of distress, because you being hurt means people have to care about you. Right? They have to really, truly see that you’ve been struggling but haven’t been able to ask for proper help.

You snap yourself out of that thought process, trying to remind yourself that people do care about you. But it’s hard to feel that way when you’ve put so much distance between yourself and the people you love.

You aren’t sure how long you sit in the rain having a pity party, watching your swollen ankle get bigger and bigger. You need to ice it and elevate it. And anytime longer in this rain, you’ll catch a cold.

So, you crawl on your hands and knees and find as sturdy a branch as you can on the forest floor. You use it as a pseudo walking stick to help you hobble back toward the trailer park. You know the way, thanks to your time traversing the forest daily in the Upside Down.

As you get closer to the break in the trees, you hear people calling for you. You shuffle there faster.

“I’m here!” you yell, stumbling through the tree line. “I’m here!”

It’s Chief Powell and Hopper, and they look relieved to see you. Officer Callahan and an animal control worker are trying to coax the mama dog and her three pups into crates.

“What happened, kid?” Hopper asks, sitting with you in the backseat of Powell’s truck while the other man radios for an ambulance and a tow truck for your car. The usual gruff timbre to Hopper's voice has a softened edge to it today, like he can sense your emotional fragility.

“Some jerk pushed me off the road. And I thought I saw…I—listen, the mud made the dog’s fur look gray, and I thought it was—”

“One of these hellhounds?”

You nod.

“I’m not sure if you realize this,” Hopper says. “But it’s been two years to the day since you…you know.”

You swallow hard.

“I didn’t remember,” you admit. “I mean, I knew the anniversary was coming up soon, I just…”

“We were all worried you…did something,” Hopper continues cautiously.

“I wouldn’t,” you say, much too quickly. “I mean, I feel like shit a lot of the time, but…no. I wouldn’t.”

Hopper nods, eyeing you. He doesn’t quite look convinced.

When the ambulance arrives, he rides with you to the hospital. Then, your parents meet you at the ER, while a doctor looks over your ankle.

It’s sprained, but not broken, thankfully. They send you home with a brace, some crutches, painkillers, and instructions to elevate and ice.

The whole drive home, your parents give you a speech about how much they love you and how they want to know how you’re doing, and that if you ever feel low, to talk to them because they can help. Normally, that kind of thing would annoy you, but after today—the fear of seeing what you thought was a demodog, of being back in the wilderness by yourself, even just for a few hours—you appreciate the gesture.

It's after midnight when you get home, and the rain has finally let up. Your dad helps you up the porch stairs, leaning the side with your bad leg against him the whole way. You almost don’t notice the note tacked to the front door until your mom points it out.

It has your name on it. You open it. Parts of it have been scratched out, but you can still read it all.

Hey, Y/N. I was driving around looking for you when Hopper found me. I’m so glad to hear that you’re going to be okay.

I’ll swing by tomorrow to chat, if you’re still up for it. If not, no worries. I know it’s a tough time. I just want you to know that I miss you I care about you more than you know I’m here.

-Steve

🫀🫀🫀

When Steve comes by the next day, he’s not alone.

You’re surprised to see him and Max Mayfield standing on your porch.

“Uh, hello!” you say. “How are you, Max?”

“Pretty good,” she says, “now that Steve is taking us for ice cream.”

You raise your eyebrows and adjust your stance on your crutches.

“Oh!” you say. You look to Steve. He’s smiling, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Everything about his posture is tense, nervous. You wonder if this is an intervention or something—if you’ll arrive at the ice cream shop and be bombarded by the rest of your friends and a licensed professional promising a “safe space.”

You tell your parents where you’re going, promising a million times that you’ll be careful, and hobble down the porch steps to Steve’s waiting car. He’s a gentleman, one hand hovering behind your back and ready to catch you if you fall.

Max lets you have the passenger seat, likely due to your injury. On the ride over, you consider (politely) asking what she’s doing there, as you expected this conversation would be about the nature of your and Steve’s relationship.

A part of you deep, deep down had hoped he would beg you to take him back. A part of you deeper down felt selfish for that, but it was what you wanted.

You made a huge mistake letting him go.

Steve ends up taking you both to Sonic, pulling into one of the parking spots and pressing the “Order” button. Max leans up from the backseat, sticking her head between the two front seats, and rattles off a complicated order of hot dogs, fries, slushies, and ice cream into the speaker.

“I thought this was just ice cream,” you say with an eyebrow raised.

Max smirks.

“Moneybags Harrington is paying,” she says, patting him on the shoulder.

“I resent that,” Steve grouses. But there’s a sparkle in his eye.

When the food comes, Steve divvies it up amongst the three of you. However, he quickly comes up with a shoddy excuse to step out of the car—something about the fries being a medium instead of a large.

Max climbs over the center console to settle in the driver’s seat.

You aren’t sure what to expect when you’re alone with Max, but it’s definitely not, “Dying and coming back really sucks, doesn’t it?”

Your burger immediately tastes like sandpaper. “Oh, let’s not talk about that,” you say. “Let’s talk about fun things. Have you learned any new skate tricks recently?”

“Don’t deflect,” Max says, waving a french fry at you for emphasis. “Steve said you were having a hard time because no one could relate to you, and I’m probably the only person in the world who can.”

She’s not wrong. After your return to the right side of the universe, you learned that Max woke up from her coma, completely healed, after you killed Vecna and the gates closed. You hadn’t thought about how the two of you had similar, paralleled experiences.

“It does suck,” you say quietly, swirling your spoon around in your ice cream cup. “And I kind of feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“For me, it was a lot of anger,” Max says. She fidgets with her own food as she continues. “I couldn’t understand people’s priorities anymore. Like, what do you mean you’re worried about a chem test, Dustin? A few months ago, the world almost ended!”

“I totally get that,” you say, and your heart already feels lighter. “And my parents don’t understand what really happened, so they just don’t get me at all. Why I get so scared, so angry. So jumpy. It makes me feel like I’m a freak in their eyes.”

“I feel like my mom doesn’t even see me anymore,” Max says. She clears her throat and you catch a glimpse of tears gathering on her lash line before she roughly wipes them away. “Like to her, I’m a ghost.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” you say. She scoffs.

“And there’s another annoying thing,” Max says. “The empty platitudes to make us feel better. That shit doesn’t fix anything!”

You’re not offended by her outburst, because you honestly agree. The two of you lament a bit longer, and by the end of the conversation, you’re feeling on top of the world. Sure, nothing is really fixed. But you finally realize that you have a kindred spirit in all this.

You and Max make a plan to do things together more often. You’re seeing her as a de facto little sister already, and you’re hopeful that your planned meetings will be just as beneficial for her as they are for you.

Steve comes back after what seems like a millennium, shooing Max back to the backseat.

“Took you long enough!” she says.

He just smiles.

🫀🫀🫀

JUNE 1988

It’s the first day of summer.

And it’s been a year to the day since you returned.

You expect to feel more anxious than you do. Instead, you feel peaceful.

You’re doing a lot better, genuinely. You found a new therapist (sorry, Elaine) and since it’s someone who worked with Dr. Owens, you’re able to spill all the gory details of your past and your trauma. Healing isn’t easy, but you feel yourself slowly sewing yourself back together again.

You and Max stick to your word and take weekly trips to Sonic. You talk about the heavy stuff, but also the normal life stuff. You sometimes have guests. This past week, Lucas and Mike tagged along, arguing the whole time about what should happen in the Ghostbusters sequel that’s supposed to release next year.

You and Steve…ah, what’s there to say. You want him back, but you imploded the relationship and it feels selfish to waltz up to him and say, “Hey, hot stuff. Wanna get back together?”

However, you’ve officially enrolled for the fall semester at U of I. While he’s home from Hawkins for summer break, under the guise of asking for tips about campus life, you spend a lot of time with him.

You also spend time in the library, doing some studying to catch up before you start your classes in the fall. Your high school graduation was a lifetime ago. Literally.

Steve, Robin, and Jonathan join you for those summertime study sessions, although Jonathan and Robin usually bicker over the music theory books and Steve doesn’t get much done except for doodling in his notebook. But sometimes you catch him staring at you, and then his cheeks flush pink in that adorable way that makes you want to do something stupid, like beg him to take you back.

If only you knew if he really felt the same…

…which you find out he does, during the summer solstice.

You’re at the county fair with your friends, but they’ve all run off to watch the fireworks, so it’s just you and Steve at a picnic table downing sodas and cotton candy.

Your fingers wrap around the cool glass of a now-empty Coke bottle, and you place it on the tabletop. You attempt to look nonchalant as you spin it slowly.

Once it’s picked up momentum, you let it go, watching it spin a few more times before stopping it with your hand when the bottle neck points at Steve.

“It’s you,” you whisper, attempting to recreate that magical first kiss moment from years and years ago. You clear your throat at Steve’s dumbfounded expression. “Ah, sorry. You don’t have to kiss me. I was just…”

To your pleasant surprise, Steve’s face splits into a grin. “Well, gee, Y/N,” he says. “If you wanted to kiss me that bad, you could’ve just said so.”

A million canaries titter a love song in your heart as he leans forward.

The two of you kiss, for the first time in a long time.

The great divide in your soul is starting to seal. And everything feels right.

THE END

🫀🫀🫀

a/n please lmk what you thought 🩵

tags; @aloneinthehellfire @starry-eyed-steve @hollandweather @wisdomssdaughterr @huffledor-able541 @springautumn

@sunshinesteviee @curiositydooropened @crappymixtape

#st fic: oj #st fic: tgd #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #stranger things fanfic

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svtoose · 1 month

Text

Palace Rendezvous ft. Joshua Hong

pairing: joshua x fm!reader

word count: 1.2k

F : pretty fluffy

warnings: palace au, reader is a worker, kissing

summary: you and josh are two staff members at the palace. how will you keep your relationship a secret?

a/n : i made a banner hehe. ps. I'm sorry if u read this before I proofread bc gosh what was wrong w me!!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"We're going to get caught, Shua." You whisper into his ear. He continues to kiss your neck, moving his lips freely among your skin.

"Please, baby. I can't risk it." You plead. He finally releases you from his arms and frowns at you. You and Joshua both work at the king and queen's palace, but are forced to date in secret cause of a 'no dating' policy for the palace staff.

"I have a dress to sew, and you have a prince to tend to. Don't let the prince find out his right hand man is violating a rule." You whisper against his lips in a teasing fashion. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. Before he lifts his lashes, you sneakily slip out of his grip and start speed-walking down the dimly lit hallway.

"This isn't over, Y/N," you hear him threaten as you giggle, continuing on your path to your quarters, where there is a garment waiting for you to complete.

With quick steps, trudge to the basement, fearing your boss's dismay at your tardiness.

"That's two in a row, Miss Y/N," your boss says after you enter the premises. Her eyebrows are raised, and a subtle smirk sits on her lips. It's almost as if she knew what you were doing just a few minutes ago.

"I apologize. I'll be extra early tomorrow." You speak guiltily, avoiding eye contact.

As you scurry toward your workplace, her next words make you stop at your place. "It's a boy, I presume. He must be the reason you're always late."

'Oh, no. This could be the end' you think to yourself. Is it that obvious? Well, you can't really admit it to your boss. Both you and Josh could get fired and sent home. Worse yet, you guys could be injured in front of all the staff to "set an example."

"No Miss. I just lost track of time while getting ready," you reply to your boss, hoping she believes your lies.

"Sure, you did. Just get to work."

You nod your head and quickly walk to your station, continuing to pin the hem of a dress you're working on. The gown is sheer pink, with an intricately embroidered bodice and a tulle skirt. It's absolutely perfect for the 16-year-old princess. It's definitely one of your more extravagant pieces.

Your hands steadily prick needles into the ragged hem of the dress as your boss walks around, critiquing and admiring your and the rest of the girls' work.

She finishes her rounds and takes a seat beside your isolated workspace as you mentally prepare yourself to be berated some more. Your boss was a kind woman in her fifties, but she did not appreciate any misconduct. Nobody ever wanted to be on her bad side.

"Exquisite Miss Y/N. Very elegant. I'm sure the princess will be delighted. Do you plan on adding straps?"

"Thank you. Yes, I do. I could also leave it strapless, but I know the princess prefers the support."

"Perfect then." She's about to leave before she pauses and looks at you.

"Miss Y/N. I know you know there are rules about personal affairs in the palace.

"I'm not having any personal affairs." You cut her off, lying through your teeth. You are usually not this abrupt, but the anxiety of her finding out about your relationship is surely terrifying.

"A chance to finish, Miss?"

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry."

"You're a terrible liar, you know. As I was saying, I know there's a boy. I know you're scared right now that I might get you in trouble. But I'm not looking to ruin your life. As long as it doesn't interfere with the quality of your work, which it obviously hasn't, then there's nothing to report. Even if the queen were to find out, she's a complete sucker for a good love story. She would be more than glad to turn a blind eye. And as for the king, he barely notices the staff. I'd be surprised if he knew my name. All I ask is that you come on time so you don't raise any suspicions among the rest of the staff. Does that sound reasonable?"

Do you hear her right? You and Shua won't have to worry about it anymore.

"It sounds far better than reasonable. Thank you so much. I promise I won't let you down, and I'll be on time from now on."

"Alright then. I'm glad this could be resolved. Get back to work. The dress is due in a few hours." She winked at you and walked away to her own station.

'I've got to tell Josh the news!' you think to yourself.

Though you are quite distracted for the duration of the work day, you successfully complete the dress, straps, and all. You quickly hang the completed garment on a rack and speed your way to your room, where you hope to freshen up for your date with Joshua.

You remove your hair tie, allowing your locks to lay freely, before you swipe a sheer shade of rouge over your lips. 'He's going to be so happy.'

You take steady steps toward the rooftop, where you know Josh will be awaiting you, imagining the smile that will adorn his face after you share your news with him.

After a few seconds, a beautiful scene reveals itself. Your dear boyfriend stands against the railing, admiring the acres of green that are accompanied by the sunset.

"Shua?" You call out with a peaceful smile on your lips.

He perks up, turning around to walk toward you with open arms. No matter how many times you see him in his uniform, it never fails to take your breath away; the suit is just tailored so perfectly to his frame.

"C'mere, sweetheart." He calls you in for a warm embrace, while you just cannot wipe the smile off your face.

"What's got you so happy?" He asks, releasing you from the hug. You grab his hand and walk back to the railing, pulling him behind you. While his arms enclose you as you both stare out into the sunset, you begin to reveal the news.

"I was late to work today... and..." He lays his chin on your shoulder, leaving sweet pecks on your neck.

"Well, my boss had an inkling that I was with a boy and told me that... it was okay. She wouldn't tell anyone we were together as long as I came on time." You feel his kisses pause as he lifts his head.

"Does that mean..."

"Yes, Josh. We don't have to fear for our lives anymore. We can be together."

"Oh, baby, that's so great." His arms tighten around you as you turn around to hold his face in your hands. The happiness in the atmosphere is blooming as your lips inch up toward each other in a deep kiss.

"I'm so happy, Josh."

"Me too, Y/N." You turn back around and continue to admire the nature that surrounds the palace. You can just feel it in your bones that life is about to get better.

#seventeen #svt x reader #joshua #joshua hong #joshua x reader #joshua x you #joshua x y/n #palace of versailles #svtoose #svt oneshot #svt imagines #joshua imagines #seventeen fluff #svt fanfic #seventeen fanfic

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bones-of-a-rabbit · 5 months

Text

the babbit masterpost

HELLO welcome to the Babbit's Blog masterpost!!! On this post you'll find some fun facts about yours allegedly (me <33), some ref's for my different 'sona's, and a couple links to my fics and whatnot! Are you ready? No?? Excellent neither am i let's do this

Meet the Babbits!: the self-inserts/personas

the first ref is for my general/most commonly used persona, Babbit! They aren't really an anthro/furry as much as they are a humanoid with the head of a rabbit. I like to think of this one as the 'me' that's in my head- the purest form of my thoughts and feelings, but not the solid real-life me. The second ref is my self-insert persona, Rabbit, the one i picture using most often when i'm reading a fic or imagining a self-insert scenario lol. This one is like the me that people see and meet and speak to in real actual life, if that makes sense. It's the way I come across to people and all of the things I wish I could iron out of my crumpled up real-self <3 The third is a much more specific 'sona, Hazel, who started off as a FNaF:SB animatronic self-insert. She does have a backstory and lore now, which i think makes her more of an OC than a self-insert, but a lot of her is still me and a lot of what she experiences in her backstory is from my life/instills the same feelings that were taken away from things that happened to me, so I think she kinda counts enough to put a ref for her here sdkjfsdhfj (Why the different names?: makes things a little easier, and they hold meaning to me symbolically, I guess!)

Content!: Here's a short list of my various fics that will get updated as I create more! (it was, in reality, not fine.): FNaF Sun/Moon x Reader fanfic, gender neutral, for general audiences, fluff-fest, idiots to lovers "You're the new tech/repairman at the Fazbear Mega Pizzaplex, unfortunately. Your first task? To make the Daycare Attendant into two separate animatronics. It's an amazing opportunity, really, and there is nothing you love more than getting a chance to really work with such tech! The only bad part is that you don't know how to tell anyone that you just might be in over your head. (You are extremely in over your head.)" After Everything Was Fixed (but you were still broken): AU FNaF Sun/Moon x (Animatronic) Reader, gender neutral, read with caution, angst, harm to sentient robots, traumatized main character, hurt/comfort slow burn, romance slow burn "The virus was gone. Everyone was fixed. You had been put back together. It's a time for a new beginning, to do things right this time, to wash away the past and paint a better future. Their memories of the infection had- mercifully- been taken away from them. Yours had not. He doesn't understand why you try to avoid him. Even if you could tell him, you're not sure you would. You want to be his friend, but it's difficult; every time you see him, you remember the hundreds of times he killed you." A fic where you are a repairman-themed STAFFbot, taking place post-virus. In the past, Moon, infected by the virus, took delight in attacking and dismantling the reader during the night. Now, in the present, you find yourself burdened by the memories of the past while everyone around you has no recollection of the events. It gets more complicated as Sun and Moon, both now cleared of the virus, grow curious of you. This fic will follow a series of arcs, presently on arc one. For anyone curious, feel free to send an ask about the arcs in 'After Everything Was Fixed'! The Sun, the Moon, and the Blazing Comet (title subject to change): AU FNaF Sun/Moon/Eclipse x Reader, gender neutral, teen and up audiences, travel/journey, betrayal, hurt/comfort slowburn, reconciling, themes of breaking the mold, found family (TBA) Hold My Broken Hands (title subject to change): AU FNaF Sun/Moon x Reader, gender neutral, mature audiences, dark romance, dark comedy, severe bodily harm, mutilation, murder, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, lovesick (TBA)

My AU's!: i'm going to make a Babbit-AUs-Masterpost and then put the link here i swear, i just have so many im sorry jdfhsjdfhs (like more than twenty)

Fandoms!: I enjoy, have been in, made or make content for: Pokemon Undertale FNaF Creepypasta (YEAH I KNOW LET ME LIVE OKAY) My Little Pony (I KNOW OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE) Steven Universe Star Trek Warrior Cats i'm sure theres more but i just forgot everything i have ever liked wheeeeeze

Whomst the hell?: HI I'm Rabbit! Or Bones! Or Babbit! Or Avarice/Ava, if you want to go for a more legitimate-sounding name. I'm 24 years old, prefer to use they/them pronouns, and so, so incredibly ace. I've been drawing as long as I've had the ability to hold a pen, writing since I was in grade school, and being a plague to the ones around me since the beginning of time! If you've seen my art, its probably from the absolute mountain of fluffy-wuffy love-dovey (y/n) x Sundrop/Moondrop/Eclipse doodles I've been sharing for several years now sdfjhsdj. If you've heard of my fics, it was probably the one I made just for fun that's now turned into an actual fanfiction that I enjoy writing, the silly-lovey-fluff incarnate (it was, in reality, not fine.) !

Likes n Dislikes!: I'm a sucker for sap, fluff, and lots and lots of love-dovey bullshit! I also like stories about finding oneself and monsters being befriended or loved. I like space, aliens, robots, the odd and strange, injecting humanity into things not human, monsters, creatures, animals, the fae, concepts of spirits and karma and the afterlife, and more! I dislike 'fanservice', most anime tbh LOL it's not personal I just don't enjoy it im srry, FLY BABIES i know they have an actual name but i hate that word too pls just dont i will scream, sexually aggressive/forceful content/characters, being made to feel small, dumb, or trapped,

Other!: I have a pretty high gross-out tolerance! I also have a pretty high 'wow that's messed up huh' tolerance, in that sometimes I will just say stuff that's super grim or dark or messed up and not realize it lmao. I am full of random facts and anecdotes, especially weird or gross ones! sometimes i get on tangents that can go for actual hours so pls forgive that lol

WARNINGS: THIS BLOG MAY FEATURE CONTENT BASED ON/RELATED TO THEMES OF GUILT, CHILDHOOD LOSS, GRIEF, SELF HATRED, DISCONNECTION FROM REALITY/SELF, TRAUMA, AND SEVERE DEPRESSION/ANXIETY. YES I AM GETTING HELP. YES I AM OKAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING.

bonus persona: crybaby

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personasintro · 8 months

Text

Mutual Help | #52

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 15.1k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

"Ah, I don't know!"

Frustratedly sighing and rubbing your forehead, you give your friend a pleading look as if you weren't whining and sighing for the past ten minutes which eventually brought him to this door. Leaning against the door frame with arms crossed over his big chest, he shoots you an amused grin your way.

"Just pack whatever. I don't see how this is a big deal."

"It's not a big deal," you correct him. "Stop making it look as if I'm overdramatic." you scold him and it's this time that you hear a sigh coming from Jungkook, though his one is more subtle.

Still, you hear it and you narrow your eyes at him.

"Do you even know where we are going? I can't just pack comfortable clothes and then your mom is like 'Boom, we're going to the restaurant' or something. I can't come to Busan, to your parents house in a bag full of sweats and leggings."

"Why not?" Jungkook shoots amusingly, cackling when he sees your annoyed expression.

You hate when you're serious and he's just there making fun of you.

It's Thursday and you're supposed to go to Busan, visit Jungkook's parents as planned. To not sleep there for one night only, Jungkook wants to go on Friday (not that he has much choice considering his mother told him to come Friday before she hung up, not giving him any chance to protest). You don't think he would protest though. After the scolding he got for hanging up on her, she got back right at him and you're not going to lie – you had the time of your life when Jungkook told you about it after you came back from work.

Jungkook himself confessed that if he is going to his hometown, he wants to stay there the whole weekend, including the Friday – or as much as it's left of it since he's working on that day too. Either way, it wouldn't pay off to stay there for one night only.

"Stop it," you whine, "I don't want to overpack."

"Just bring something comfortable and then something nice, in case we go out. I don't know what my mom's got planned, it's hard to tell with her. Maybe we will be staying home or going to one restaurant but I don't think it's gonna be anything fancy." Jungkook finally offers you a good response, walking closer to you as he rubs your tensed shoulders.

It's not like you're frustrated by the simple packing. You're tired, luckily fresh out of shower and today hasn't been a good day. On top of it all you have to pack it now since right after you clock out of work, Jungkook is going to pick you up so you both can go to Busan. It sounds complicated, and though it isn't, you proposed not going to Busan with him.

You'd love to. You love Jungkook's family and well, his mom sort of invited you and it would be rude not to turn up after the call you had with her. Though you know she'd be understanding, you still don't want to risk it. You're sort of people's pleaser – just when it comes to some people and it's mostly people close to you or someone you care about at some point. Plus, it's not like you have anything important to do over the weekend and it sounds fun to get out of Seoul.

In the end, Jungkook refused your proposition and wouldn't want to hear about it.

"You're tense," Jungkook comments behind you, rubbing the place between your neck and shoulders as you sigh in delight. "What's wrong?"

"Just a long day," you explain easily. "Don't worry."

"Good," he chuckles softly, "Then finally pack something for god's sake."

You elbow him into his stomach, his laugh resounding behind you as you quickly fold the clothes that have been spread on your bed, putting it into the travel bag which Jungkook will take with him once he's about to come get you from work. He's going to be home earlier, so he'll get your stuff and make sure the apartment is all good.

"You're so fucking annoying," you mutter, trying to sound as annoyed as possible. "I don't know why I am voluntarily about to spend a whole weekend with you. I could've just stayed here and enjoyed the peace."

"Oh, come on," Jungkook snorts, "You'd miss me the moment I'd step out of this place."

This time it's your turn to snort as you toss the travel back into the corner. Turning around to face him, you cross your arms over your chest and lift your brow at him. "Get over yourself."

"Come on now, don't be like this." he says with a grin, slowly getting closer to you while you try to keep your posture and not let him see you falling apart.

But the moment the tip of his toes almost brush against your own and you're met with the clearest sight of his brown dark eyes, your posture breaks a little and your arms slide along your sides. Jungkook's lip twitches as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, the intimate touch causing your breath to hitch as he watches your entire face.

He is the epitome of how dangerous some men can be. You've been around men for a few years now. With having good-looking friends, let's say it's been a challenge. With knowing them and not crossing any boundaries, you can look back and see things differently now. However, that cannot be exactly said about Jungkook. He is special, between three of your friends, you've grown the closest to him. And sometimes you wonder how the hell you got into this mess. A mess you so shamelessly want to be in, if it makes you enjoy your time together. Whether as best friends only or as fuck-buddies who love to fuck each other's brains out.

Will you be able to go back to how things were?

He is still your best friend and whenever you don't have sex, it's like nothing has changed. He is still the same Jungkook and you're still the same Y/N. Maybe that's the only thing that calms down your nerves whenever you spend your time overthinking or looking back at your friendship.

And now that he is standing right in front of you, all of it is brushed off easily.

"Horny again?" You press your lips together when you see his eyes snapping to yours.

"What do you mean again? We haven't had sex for a long time." he frowns, causing your lips to twitch and you do an awful job to hide the amused grin.

"Over a week isn't a long time." you point out, trying to sound unphased as if you haven't been thinking about his dick during the day.

"According to who? You?" he chuckles, cupping your face as he brushes his nose against yours.

You hate how weak you're already feeling, your heart in your throat, beating loudly.

"According to studies of Harvard–"

Jungkook snorts, lips curling into a satisfied smirk. "You're full of shits,"

He's so close and you wish you could hate yourself for how fast you hypnotize his lips with your lingering gaze. Once he notices his smirk deepens even more, innocently cocking his head to the side in a false act.

"But very well then. I will let you pack." he shrugs, stepping away from you as you stare at him with an indescribable look.

Jungkook presses his lips together to stop himself from laughing at your face, bringing two fingers to his temple as he salutes you. He walks away freely while you stand there with an open mouth and disappointment burning in your chest.

Fucker.

The only chances you had to visit Busan have been with Jungkook. Not that there's anything to mind about that because the road is familiar and your brain automatically connects the scenery with him. Even the familiar buildings you've seen from the window of his car, or the stores you never visited in person – all of it reminds you of the times he brought you here.

Now, there haven't been many times you've visited this beautiful city with its own spark and uniqueness. This is your second time to spend the night here – all those times before were where you visited and came back home the same day.

Straight out of the work, you're embarrassed that you preferred to rest your eyes and listen to the muffled music of Jungkook's playlist, rather than admiring the scenery the entire ride. The Jeon family house looks just the same, bringing you back the memories you created here the last time you visited. It hasn't been that long ago but a wave of nostalgia hits you.

And the warmth of Mrs. Jeon's big smile as she opens the front door and spots her son makes you oddly emotional. The petite woman rushes towards her youngest son and crushes him in a big hug. The sight is both touching and funny, considering their size difference as Jungkook looks totally scrunched up in the hug, despite his mother being nowhere as tall.

When she pulls away and gives the loving and warm look to her son, she suddenly pokes him in the chest as she starts her set of scolding which makes you snicker while you take out your bag from the truck.

"Y/N, dear!" Mrs. Jeon turns her attention to you, giving you a warm and definitely less crushing hug, but it feels nothing but nice and welcoming. "Look at you! Beautiful as always."

"Mrs. Jeon," you greet her, feeling your cheeks getting hot at her straight-forward (and very kind) compliment. "You're the one who's beautiful here."

"Oh come on, I might be getting old but I'm not stupid." she comments with an attitude, waving you off as she sends you a grin you've seen somewhere before.

The 'somewhere' is the person who wraps his arm around Mrs. Jeon's shoulders, pulling her closer to his side as he gives a soft kiss into her black hair. "You're beautiful, mom."

"My son," she almost cries out as she hugs him again and you feel your heart clench, fighting back the tears. You don't even know why you're suddenly so emotional. "Don't think I'm gonna get easy on you though. Do you hang up on your mother? The woman who carried you for nine months? Yah!"

She's back to scolding him, Jungkook scrunching his nose in shame as he gives her an exhausted sigh. "Mom, we went over this. I love you and I'm here. Can you please let us come inside so the whole neighborhood doesn't witness you scolding an adult man?"

Snickering, you and Jungkook share an amused look as he takes your travel back from you, holding yours and his as well while you close the truck.

"Who cares about the neighbors," she mutters but still looks around to see if there are any prying eyes and ears which are common in a neighborhood full of houses. "You might be an adult but you're still my son."

"Yeah, yeah," he mutters, "Can we go? We're tired from the drive."

She shoots Jungkook a look before she looks at you and suddenly her face completely relaxes. She gives you the same warm smile, leading you inside the house where Mr. Jeon waits in the living room. The hug between a dad and a son is a great thing to witness once again and as soon as Jungkook's dad makes sure he greets you just as warmly, a sense of happiness and security washes over you. You would say it's the house you're in that makes you feel this way, but it's the people in it who do.

After the nice welcome and catching up while eating the delicious dinner Mrs. Jeon has prepared, the exhaustion from the whole day and the drive here catches up to you. You do your best not to start yawning and you slip a few times, sheepishly trying to hide the natural reaction of your body with your palm. But there's not a single thing Jungkook misses and he easily tells openly you're tired, ignoring the stare you give him. You feel bad.

Jungkook's parents have been so excited to see him, and they've been so kind that they always tried to include you in their conversation. Not even for a second you felt like an outcast while they caught up with their son. They asked Jungkook something and then averted their attention toward you, which is very kind of them.

"Oh, of course! You both were working today," Mrs. Jeon says as she cleans up the plates, Mr. Jeon helps her right away and you mentally coo at how compatible they seem to look. "The room is all ready for you dear."

You stand up to help her, thanking her as she sweetly shoos you away and tells you her husband will help her.

"Jungkook, you should take some fresh sheets for yourself. I prepared them for you in our bedroom."

You look at Jungkook, noticing how sour his face turns and you clasp your hand over your mouth to hide the snort, immediately reminded of the last time you were here and you were discussing the bed situation.

"You said my room is all ready." Jungkook comments, even though he knows what's going to follow right after but he's shameless, not hiding his displeasure of having to sleep on the couch for the whole weekend.

"Yah!" Mrs. Jeon tosses the kitchen towel, glaring at her son from across the room.

Jungkook's little teasing grin is not hard to miss at all, not even for his own mother who's ready to scold him all over again. A major deja vú.

"I was talking to Y/N. The room is ready for her, not for you. I hope you don't expect her to sleep on the couch."

"Mom, we had this conversation the last time," Jungkook whines like a little kid while Mr. Jeon presses a soft kiss to his wife's temple before he scurries away as soon as possible.

You watch the sight amusingly, silently admiring Jungkook's courage and non-existent shame – not even when it comes to his mother.

"Me and Y/N can share the bed."

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook!" She grabs the kitchen towel and is ready to smack the hell out of Jungkook while he starts laughing. "That is completely inappropriate and you know it!"

"Mom, it's just a bed. Have you never shared a bed with your friend?" Jungkook tries again, hiding the amused smirk as she huffs and tries to adjust her black hair a little.

"What do you think of your mother, huh?!" she exclaims, this time ready to pinch his cheeks but thanks to their height difference, Jungkook dodges her hands easily and hugs her instead. "You guys are a different generation, but under my roof–"

"Alright, alright," Jungkook laughs, pecking the top of her head. "I can respect that."

"How can you even suggest that? What about poor Y/N? Do you think she wants to share a bed with a mountain man taking up most of the space?" she asks, still with a scolding tone into his chest as her voice comes out muffled.

Jungkook looks at you, cocking his brow at you just as his mother pulls away slightly and waits for your reaction.

"You're right, Mrs. Jeon. I'm gonna enjoy his bed all to myself." you tell proudly, teasingly grinning at Jungkook who narrows his eyes.

"Our couch is comfortable, Jungkook. I don't know why you are so difficult about this."

"I just want my old bed," Jungkook pouts as she scolds him with one look but he doesn't budge. "Sue me for wanting to sleep in there and relive my old life."

"Then you should come more often." Mrs. Jeon's response is quicker than any of you can blink, leaving Jungkook with an open mouth as he frowns unpleasantly.

"That's not fair..." he murmurs with an attitude.

"You're not five, Jungkook-ah." His mother reminds him as you snort, Jungkook sulking as he rolls his eyes.

"I don't know how you women can be cold sometimes."

"You men wouldn't be able to live without us in your lives."

Her response is sassy, showing you a new side of her as you gape with open mouth before you start laughing. Jungkook's lips twitch as his gaze stays on his mother as he shakes his head in amusement.

Well, she wasn't exactly wrong.

As soon as Jungkook glances at you, you cock your brow at him in a silent "She's right". He eyes you up and down with a cocky glint in his eyes, tonguing his cheek as he remains silent. It's better to excuse yourself to go take a shower, quickly avoiding his gaze. But you still hear the silent but deep chuckle rumbling out of his chest.

He leans against the counter, arms crossed over his chest as he stares at you as you retrieve yourself upstairs – his mother no longer engaging herself in the conversation as she starts casual conversation instead.

Jungkook waits a good moment or a few after the house quiets down, killing his time by browsing through his social media and watching random youtube videos. He checks the time, it's almost midnight. Though everyone went to bed a little later than usual, he knows it's caused by his and yours late arrival. His parents obviously wanted to catch up in person, enjoy him while he stays in his hometown.

His mother misses the fuck out of him but still makes him sleep on the couch.

Unbelievable. He scoffs silently.

He understands why. He wouldn't let you sleep on the couch anyway. He just loves to tease his mom and she knows it. She still gives him a reaction every time which makes the whole thing even funnier.

Jungkook is completely fine with you staying in his room. He might joke around a lot on the outside, but he believes he is a gentleman in these kinds of things. There's no need to blame her for not approving for you and him to sleep in the same bed. He knows she says one thing but he's not sure if she would totally mind. She's aware of your close friendship and that you're comfortable with each other. Nobody sees inside her head but he guesses she thinks of your friendship as a sibling kind of relationship. What she isn't aware of is that Jungkook gets to fuck the shit out of you and you're way past the sibling relationship.

Well, it's not something for her to know anyway.

You've been in Jungkook's life long enough for them to know you. Whether it's personally or from Jungkook's mentioning you whenever he talked to them about the most casual stuff. Obviously, they were aware of you becoming his best friend from the beginning.

Jungkook isn't too subtle by opening the door from his old bedroom, walking into the darkness and space so casually that it could be comical if there were any lights turned on. You could be asleep for all he knows but that proves to be not true when your deadpanned voice resounds in the silence.

"You can't be serious."

Jungkook grins, a breathy and evil chuckle leaving his lips as he practically forces his way inside his bed as you start protesting. "You thought you'd have my bed to yourself?"

"I can't believe we have to deal with this again."

"We don't," he says simply, annoyingly cuddling to one of the pillows. "Just shut up."

"I'm gonna tell your mom and she's gonna whip your ass."

"Do it and I'm gonna whip yours." he says casually and your mouth hangs open, a loud gasp leaving it shortly after.

Disappointed how excited those words made you, you shift on your spot as you try to find the right position. It's not like Jungkook's old bed is too small but you feel like with two people, not mentioning Jungkook's actual body size, it's not big enough.

You're not going to lie. You were kind of expecting him to come. His look back in the kitchen told you everything you had to know. His presence is comforting as always, even in this small ass – not big enough – bed. And you hate how much you enjoy just sleeping next to him. You're the person to move a lot, or more like stretch around in your sleep, so naturally you like your space. But with Jungkook, you don't mind even though he often used to scold you for elbowing him in your sleep or almost pushing him off the bed.

Though, your stubborn self won't let him have the satisfaction of you being speechless. Even though you've been for a moment now.

"You sound confident. You think I'd let you do that?"

"You've let me do it every time." he says right away, sounding pleasant by his answer as you roll your eyes, ready to pinch him in the stomach as he chuckles and cages your wrist with his fingers wrapped around it.

"Stop being so cocky. There is a first time for everything."

"Indeed."

He lowers his tone and you're about to question him, until he suddenly reaches and pinches gently your nipple. But the shock leaves you yelping though, slapping your hand against your mouth.

"What the fuck." you gasp.

"That's what you were about to do, huh?" he asks cockily, "Pinch me, right?"

"So?" you gulp, cupping your breasts with a frown which you're not sure Jungkook can see clearly, but the chuckle makes you think he probably knows about it.

And then he's hovering over you before you can blink, your mind going blank for a good moment when you realize the son of a bitch (no offense to Mrs. Jeon of course, it's just a phrase) is shirtless. You shamelessly want to rank your hands down his chest to his freaking abs because you know they are there. His weird interest in working out at any given chance is paying off for sure.

He doesn't look like a bodybuilder and his muscles aren't massive, he's perfect in all the right places as cliché as it might sound. He's fit and buff, just the thought of what he's usually hiding beneath the layers of his clothing makes you salivate. If you weren't nearly as attracted toward him, you're not sure if you would be able to go all this trouble for a couple of amazing rounds of sex. Amazing is not enough of a strong word.

Jungkook decides not to respond verbally and you have to clasp your mouth shut because he doesn't give you any choice. He latches his moisturized and soft lips on your neck and starts kissing you there, bringing new waves of pleasure and want. Only he can do that with a single touch. Just minutes ago, you were ready to fall asleep. Not anymore.

At the beginning of his never ending kissing and sucking, you think he's just teasing you because he has done a lot. You know he enjoys seeing you struggle and squirm. But you're also stubborn enough and you won't let him show how desperate you can get for him. Not always at least. You can be pretty needy and desperate – shameless. The man is satisfied to see you show your neediness toward him. Even though you're not a stan of women not showing her wants or making the first move, you secretly love when Jungkook takes the first move. You love to see him want you. You love to see him taking control.

But Jungkook doesn't stop.

His hand gets under your shirt, palming your skin there as you gasp into the darkness and silence. He plays with the hem of your panties, smiling in satisfaction at the realization that you're not wearing anything else besides them and the shirt.

"Look at you," Jungkook hums, nose brushing against your jaw as he gently bites you there.

You can't help it, you're already gripping his sides as you dig your nails into them.

"Wearing this at my parents house." he chuckles and hooks a finger behind your panties, just teasingly moving it right to left.

You don't bother to explain that you simply forgot, because you did bring pajama shorts and pants, in case it would be chilly at the house during the night. Who would believe you? Who forgets to put on proper pajama pants instead of panties? Either way, it would just cause more teasing from Jungkook and to be quite honest, you're already on the edge because Jungkook's parents are right down the hall.

Surely, he doesn't want his mom to find out he sneaked out into the room you're staying in. Or maybe not even that but the fact you're actually sleeping with her son and you're not just a casual and usual best friend. God, just thinking about his parents knowing makes you embarrassed. It's different when parents are involved. The Jeons think of you as this polite girl Jungkook is friends with. You are polite, but that's not even enough information about you.

"I might be wearing my panties but you're the one hovering over me." you remind him calmly, keeping your tone confident.

He brings his face closer to yours after your words. It would just take you slightly leaning in his direction to kiss him. And that thought is tempting.

"Don't act like you don't like it." he says confidently, not even thinking that there might be a small percentage of you not liking this. And he is right.

"That's not important," you gulp, "Just what you are about to do, Jungkook?" you ask straight away.

"Whatever you want me to do." he answers cheekily, putting some distance between you as he leans on his hands some more, not touching you this way but that changes.

He lowers down, the sudden chilly air hitting your exposed skin while he hikes up your shirt. He kisses your stomach. It's so soft that it suddenly makes you flinch and giggle, the tickling feeling causing you to scold him by muttering his name. He only chuckles silently, diving back in as he makes sure he puts more pressure with his lips.

You hate how your entire body accommodates to Jungkook's body, making sure both of you are comfortable in this position while he's between your stretched legs. You're so fucking weak when it comes to him, that much has been established a long time ago but still. You should be able to push him away and remind him there should be no funny business when you're at his parents house. But is it really that much of a big deal? The little devil on your shoulder asks.

"You really want to do this here? Out of all places?" you clarify silently, too close to whimpering when he pecks your skin just above your panties hem.

"Let me just make you feel good." he mumbles from between your thighs, your whole body heating up. It's becoming hard to keep your shirt on.

He clasps his hands around your knees and pushes them upward. Understanding what he wants, you bend your knees and in a second, he presses another kiss to your clothed core. This makes you audibly gasp, not expecting him to be so fast. You're aware of having to stay silent and there's still a part of you who wonders if this is the right time to have this kind of fun.

"Hm, what are you saying?" Jungkook mumbles, poking his tongue at your center as you whimper again, leaning yourself on your elbows as you glare at Jungkook. Not that he can see much but the sudden movement from you causes him to look up.

"You're gonna get us caught."

"Me?" he asks cluelessly, "You're the one making sounds." he adds cheekily and you almost fume, ready to argue.

"You're the one making me make them!" you exclaim in a hushed whisper-scream, causing him to laugh a little.

Chuckling, you feel him lifting his head while the warmth of his body makes your skin rise with goosebumps. You can't see his face clearly but you two would burst into laughter if you could see each other's faces. The want to laugh disappears in seconds when Jungkook sneakily finds his way between your thighs. The moment the pads of his fingers make contact with your clothed heat, you clear your throat shakily to mask the moans that want to rip out of your throat.

The single touch is enough to make you a mess. He traces your underwear with his fingers, the touch soft and teasing, before he starts rubbing you.

"Tell me to stop." he offers simply.

A silent scoff makes it out of your mouth as soon as he says it.

"Isn't it too late?" you ask, hinting at the wet mess between your thighs.

Jungkook chuckles though, pressing his fingers harder which makes you gasp. "It's never too late to stop."

This teasing shit...

You swear, if he wasn't doing such a great job at delivering pleasure, you would smack the life out of him. You hate when people tease you in the most annoying way but Jungkook is on another level. The man knows you like no one else and he uses it to his advantage. Still, you find yourself salivating at your current position and his hand on your clothed heat.

"Did you bring condoms?"

You ignore the satisfied and deep chuckle that vibrates in his chest, pursing your lips in the darkness.

"Fuck, I didn't." Jungkook whines a little.

As disappointed as you are, you try to mask it by giving his naked back a few slow taps. "No sex then tonight, mister."

Jungkook rolls his eyes and cockily like always, pushes your panties to the side as he teases your entrance with his digit. You gasp, clasping your hands around his biceps.

"There are other ways, y'know."

"I know." you whisper, hating how weak you always get when something like this happens.

The pleasure shoots straight through you and you can no longer think, wanting to chase the pleasure instead. This always happens with him and it's a huge problem. Only because of how dangerous it is.

"Mhm, you do?" he hums, "Besides, we've got some new things to try as far as I can remember."

His tone is suggestive, a layer of implication which makes you almost choke on your unexpected spit because... is he talking about what you think he is?

As if Jungkook could tell the look of shock on your face, he chuckles deeply.

"Soon." Is all he says, enough to make you shiver.

"You–wait, you mean like–"

"Shhh, you're gonna get us caught." he hums teasingly, hinting at your previous words and you want to groan in frustration.

He's playing with you. He's lucky you have to be quiet or else you wouldn't get him off the hook so easily.

And then he goes back between your thighs, giving you a few teasing rubs with just two of his fingers. He manages to get out of you a silenced whimper that you couldn't swallow down.

"Behave." he says playfully, a little groan escaping your mouth before he retrieves his fingers.

You prop on your elbows as soon as he plops next to you, lying on his back while you stare confusingly. You're about to question his intentions, very much hoping this is not some sort of teasing or punishment, but you're stopped by the rustling sounds of him getting out of his boxers. He's lucky.

"Take off your shirt, wanna feel you."

Oh, no problem for you.

You pull the shirt over your head, your panties following right after as you sit back on your knees, staring at Jungkook with big curious eyes. You see the faintest glimpse of his naked form, kind of bummed out that you don't see him clearly. But your imagination does wonders, finding the scene in front of you hot. Both of you. Naked. In the darkness. It has its own spark, doesn't it?

"Come on, get on my lap." he spurs you, making himself comfortably between the sheets.

You stay frozen and confused, not really understanding what he is trying to do. But you trust him. He has to have some kind of plan.

You get on his lap, still balancing yourself on your knees as you allow yourself to feel up his abs and chest. He is warm and soft, something you've known but always feels nice to have his skin under your curious hands.

Jungkook pulls you in, catching you by your hips while his mouth clashes with yours. You hold yourself back from moaning, his tongue already touching your bottom lip before he shoves his tongue into your mouth in a heated kiss. It's consuming and hungry, yet sweet and you return every bit of it.

Jungkook's hard length pokes you in your belly button, wanting some attention and you would happily give it to it. You feel Jungkook taking his cock into his fist, giving himself a few pumps while his knuckles brush against your stomach. He's driving you crazy.

Bodies heating up, Jungkook orders you to sit on his thighs and you do. Is he making you ride his thighs?

And then he pulls you down onto him, your body moving forward while your bare cunt makes contact with his balls. You whimper into his mouth, your entire body shuddering at the contact.

"Sit down on it. Don't put it inside though." he encourages you, your eyes widening while you're trying to process his request.

You let out a shuddered breath, sitting upward as you carefully sit down onto his length. It keeps lying on his stomach, reaching his belly button while you carefully place your bare cunt at the base.

"Fuck."

You both curse at the same time, your hands crashing Jungkook's shoulders while you literally tremble.

Your wetness starts spreading over Jungkook's length, the bareness causing both of you to breathe heavily as if you were in the midst of this act. However you're only at the beginning.

Jungkook's hands made contact with your ass cheeks, hands gripping your ass a little before he's pushing you up his length. You rub against him, whimpering as Jungkook quickly chases your mouth to swallow down any sounds coming from you. Following his hands while they guide for the right movement, you're trying too hard not to come already. Fuck. Who would've said this could feel so good?

You actually feel him bare, the difference is that you don't feel him inside of you but that thought doesn't even cross your mind. You can't grasp the fact that you feel him, really feel him. The hard and warm skin. Even the prominent vein. His thick length separates your folds, clit brushing over every part of his cock.

As the pace grows and gets more stable, you're sliding along his cock, your wetness making slick sounds that are hard to ignore. Although, you can't miss the sounds the bed starts to make under your moving bodies. It creaks a little, your hips halting.

"It's okay." Jungkook breathes out.

"Won't they wake up?"

"No, just keep this pace. We should be fine."

Who are you to disobey?

You continue, putting a little bit more pressure and fuck... this reminds you of that time when you and Jungkook were having sex and you accidentally brushing against his bare cock. But this time, you actually get to feel it and there is no apology behind it.

Biting your lips harshly, it seems like you're going to break the skin's thin barrier soon if you keep this up. But you can't help it. Chasing the pleasure and Jungkook's hard cock that spreads your folds seems like the only priority right now. You're a mess, whimpering and breathing heavily while you keep digging your nails into poor Jungkook's shoulders. He doesn't hiss, nor makes other sounds that could indicate he's in pain. He must be enjoying this just as much as you do.

"You like that?" Jungkook asks silently and raspily. "Hm? You like feeling my cock?"

You both know there's not much freedom and time when it comes to words, but he just couldn't help himself.

He feels you getting tired, skin burning up while the mess between your thighs leaks down his length and balls. He knows you're close and fuck, you really are because a few seconds later and your whole body shudders, finally letting go off the knot in your lower stomach as it snaps and allows you to feel the real and much intense pleasure. You both cum at the same time, the familiar knot doing the same to Jungkook as the ribbons of white paints his stomach and chest. He bites his lips to hold back a groan, throwing his head back while his hands loosen on your hips.

You both breathe heavily, your thighs and legs aching while you take a moment to calm down.

"Have you ever done this before?" you ask, voice breathy as you slowly lift yourself up. God, you both made such a mess.

Jungkook sits down, scrunching his nose at his cum all over his stomach and chest. "No."

"You haven't?" you ask surprisingly, whispering as you stand up and reach for the napkins on the nightstand.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" he chuckles, "I never had to find a way around raw sex before."

That makes sense...

"Did you like it?" you ask, handing him the napkins before he thanks you and starts cleaning himself while you do the same.

Jungkook snorts in response and you frown in confusion. "Would I cum if I didn't like it?"

"Touché." you mutter and he laughs silently.

He stands up, grabbing the wet and messy napkins from your hands. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your temple which you find oddly comforting and surprising at the same time.

You look at him in the darkness, but you can't really see his features. "I will take care of this." he says and holds the napkin in the air for a second.

You realize he must've put his boxers on while you were cleaning yourself as you watch him retrieve his way out of the room. You take the time to dress up, nervously making your way to the bathroom right after to properly clean the mess between your thighs and empty your suddenly full bladder. You could really use a shower but there's no way you could do that without waking everyone up. You can't risk it.

So you go back to the bed once you're done, smelling Jungkook on the sheets while the scent is more intense than it was yesterday.

Last night feels like a dream, at least for a moment after you open your eyes to be met with sunshine peeking through the curtains. Bed all for you, you find yourself touching the space between you to be met with cold sheets. Jungkook must've stayed in the living room which is for the better anyway.

The memories of last night make your lips stretch automatically. You can't believe you did that! It feels like a major thing that has happened. In reality, it might not be a big deal and there's no reason to go crazy over it, but you can't help but feel excited because you tried something new and you freaking loved it. Everything about it.

The whole thing was so hot. From having to stay silent to having one of the best orgasms and feeling Jungkook like that. You've also never done that before with anyone else, so it's ten times more exciting and new. But now that it's morning and you should go downstairs to join the rest of the family, you suddenly feel... nervous you would say. There's a lot of what if's but you don't beat yourself over it. You just hope they slept well during the night.

As usual, you're the last one to come downstairs and join the others, finding them all perfectly synchronized with each other. The sight of them as a family preparing breakfast looks pretty casual, just like you usually see in the movies, but it's endearing nonetheless. They're all working together to prepare the breakfast. Mrs. Jeon cutting some more fruit while Mr. Jeon sets the table and Jungkook... still wearing his – what should be considered as – pajamas (even though you know that's not really what he wears to bed), is helping his father as he brings more bowls and plates to the table.

"Ah, good morning! Hope you slept well!" Mrs. Jeon notices you when she hands Jungkook the bowl of – oh my god, are those fresh strawberries?

You greet all of them, smiling sheepishly as you offer to help but Mrs. Jeon tells you to sit down.

"I did, thank you," you smile, rubbing the back of your neck. "I'm sorry for sleeping till now. Hope I didn't wake up too late."

Mr. Jeon smiles at you which puts you a little more at ease while his wife just laughs humorously. "Oh, please, dear. Nonsense! We're happy that you slept so well. Sleep however long you want." she tells you politely and sweetly which makes you mentally coo at her sweetness.

You do not tell her that her son is the cause of your late awakening – he did a number on you.

You don't sit though and while Mr. Jeon disappears somewhere in the living room, Mrs. Jeon calls out to him to ask him something and soon, she joins him as well. You start helping Jungkook with dirty knives and cut boards, placing them into the sink. Aware of his eyes on you, you can't hide the little grin which finally makes him crack as a deep chuckle resounds beside you.

"Slept well?" he asks, standing behind you as he puts clean and dry forks back into the drawer cabinet.

"Cocky since morning?" you offer teasingly, suddenly feeling soft lips touching your neck while his hands squeeze your hips.

"Jungkook!" you scold him silently, trying to glance behind him in panic.

He cackles, pulling away. Once you truly look at him, you notice his eyes and face being still a little swollen as he looks sleepy. Besides looking cute, you find him hot with his shit eating grin he offers you and the slight cockiness hidden behind it doesn't go unnoticed too.

He leans against the kitchen counter, facing you with his arms crossed over his chest. You see the glint in his eyes that tells you to prepare yourself for whatever he's about to say. And your intuition proves to be right.

"Should I buy condoms today?" he asks, leaning even closer to you as his voice remains subtle and low.

You almost choke, "I can't believe you!" you laugh, punching him in his bicep teasingly as he laughs before straightening himself.

And then he wiggles his eyebrows at you, still grinning from ear to ear. "That wasn't no." he points out and you start laughing even more.

The approaching voices of his parents break the moment, both of you silently grinning to yourselves as Mrs. Jeon informs you of today's plan, beaming with happiness of finally having her younger son home again.

You can't remember when was the last time you attended a similar family gathering with your own family. Sure, living far away from them has complicated it and made it practically impossible for you to experience these things. You can't say you miss it too much. Family gatherings often equals family drama, which you're happy you're away from.

Of course, you do miss your family but you wouldn't change anything about deciding to leave your home country.

Your friends have definitely helped in the aspect of missing home, or like the familiarity of one. Everything would feel lonelier if you didn't have them and you often think about it.

You can tell how happy Jungkook's parents are to be hosting a little barbeque party. With Jungwon and his family coming soon, you're assigned to help Mrs. Jeon in the kitchen. She has a radio playing in the background, humming a soft tune to herself as she engages you in a casual conversation. She's marinating meat, a few packs of pork belly to Jungkook's loud wishes already sitting on the kitchen counter while Jungkook is with his father, trying to set the grill.

In the background, through the terrace door, you can see how serious they're being about their job and it makes you smile in amusement.

Mrs. Jeon takes this time to interrogate you about her son, which you find highly amusing as well. Is he sleeping well? Does he eat well?

"I know he's working out like crazy. He tends to get very serious about it, so I'm worried."

You giggle a little, not meaning to come out as rude but Mrs. Jeon simply glances at you with worried eyes.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Jeon. He does have a diet from time to time, but he can't live without this." you assure her, picking one of the packs of sliced pork belly as she looks at the item in your hand before her shoulders relax and she lets out a laugh.

"I know he's an adult, has been for quite some time," she says with a slight laugh, "But I can't help but be worried. He's not living in Busan and I know he's doing great–"

"Mrs. Jeon," you tell her softly with the same soft smile, "You're his mom. Of course you're worried. And it doesn't matter how old he is. Jungkook is happy to have you as his mom."

Mrs. Jeon smiles at you with so much fondness that it makes your heart warm. "You have to miss your parents too. I can't imagine if Jungkook lived in another country, it must've been tough for you and them."

She turns back to cutting the vegetable while you prepare a lemonade, squeezing lemons. "The beginning was," you admit.

You're a definition of a homesick person. You don't like changes and you don't deal well with being away from people close to you.

But you knew moving to Seoul is something you dreamed about for a long time. It was the biggest step you had to take in your life so far and you don't regret it. It's cheesy to say this, but everything comes with price. And your price is not seeing them as often as you would if you still lived back at home.

"But I'm happy here. And I've got amazing friends and people around me, that makes it a ton easier." you tell her while you share another smile.

"That's funny," she says after a moment, realizing something. "Jungkook told me something very similar when he first moved out."

"Really?" you laugh.

"Yes," she giggles, finishing preparing the meat. "He's very independent. Has been since he was little. Jungwon not so much, of course he's successful and independent now too. But we're always butting in whenever he needs help, whether it's babysitting our sweet Haru or something else. We just always remind him we are here, you know? Me and my husband enjoy our kids needing us. But with Jungkook.... He seems to do a lot of stuff on his own which isn't a bad thing. I'm proud of him. But sometimes that makes me worried, right?"

Your features soften as you throw the squeezed lemons into the bin. You wash your hands and almost pout when you see Mrs. Jeon warm gaze. She's full of love for her sons, it makes you emotional all over again.

Jungkook really is lucky to have her as his mother.

"That he must be going through some stuff alone. He would never burden us with his own burdens and that is the worst for a parent. When you don't know what he's going through,"

You gulp, trying to look casual. Especially when you know far more than his own mother, it does make you feel a little guilty.

"Anyways," she shakes her head as if not wanting to think about such thoughts. "He seems to be content... happy. I'm just overly worried about him."

You feel so bad for her. She has her doubts, it's like she knows he must've been through something. But you know Jungkook hasn't told her. Jungkook often told you his mother tends to get worried a lot, that's how she shows her love and god, she's a mother. Of course she is worried about her kids – no matter the age. It might seem like she's overreacting but that's not it. She loves them deeply.

"I can't talk for Jungkook," you start slowly, "But he's doing great. Don't worry. Me, Jimin and Taehyung look after him. We all do that with each other." you assure her, trying to make your voice come out light and happy.

That seems to make her relax and she lets out a humorous giggle as she shakes her head at herself. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I get so emotional sometimes."

"We women do that a lot." you joke and she joins with a laugh.

"Seems like they figured it out," she says, looking across your shoulder as you follow her gaze.

Jungkook and his dad look proud as they high-five, both laughing right after.

"We have a little time before Jungwon arrives with Haru and Sona. It's too soon to grill. Do you want to see some baby photos of Jungkook?"

One thing you love to do is look at old pictures. And baby Jungkook pictures? That sounds great.

"Sure." you smile, knowing Jungkook doesn't like to look at his old pictures.

"Oh my god!" you exclaim with a hand covering your mouth as soon as Mrs. Jeon pulls out a brown box, a worn-out album with the name 'Jungkookie' written on it, and opens it to show you the first pictures of newborn Jungkook.

She smiles widely at the pictures, probably has seen them million times before as she hands you the album for you to browse through it. In the meantime, she picks up another, smaller album while she flips through the pages.

"He was so cute," you comment, smiling at baby Jungkook who seems to be older in this picture, sitting in his toddler chair with a banana in his hand. "I can't believe he never wants us to see these pictures."

One time, you don't even remember who started it, but someone posted a baby picture in your friends group and that's how the train of sharing baby pictures happened. Jungkook was the only one who wouldn't want to post any pictures, whining how stupid that is. Really, you don't understand why because he was the cutest baby.

"He can be annoying at times." His mother waves you off and a snort leaves your mouth.

Your browsing is soon interrupted by the sound of the door opening, almost every picture causing you to let out a soft 'Aw', but you don't really give it much attention.

"What are you guys doing?"

Jungkook asks as soon as he finds you in the living room, taking a look at the both of you until realization hits him and he immediately starts whining with a pout.

"Mom!"

And there is the frown.

"What?" His mother shrugs, pushing another and a single picture of what seems like eight year old Jungkook your way.

Gasping, you completely ignore Jungkook while he plops on the spot next to you and groans loudly when he sees the photo.

"Oh my god, look at you!"

You know your reaction, a fit of giggles, isn't up to his liking because he clicks his tongue and looks uninterested at the photo in your hands. Jungkook looks like an emo kid, surely the haircut's fault and you coo at the most evident feature on his face.

"Look at your nose!" you coo, Jungkook throwing his arm behind you onto the backrest as he rolls his eyes. You start giggling all over again, hand pressing against his cheek as you bring him closer to your face.

Jungkook tongues his cheek while you give him a teasing smile. "This is embarrassing, put it away."

You and his mother share a look, while Mr. Jeon comes in and out as he starts preparing the food outside.

"You were cute, don't be like this." you nudge him in the shoulder as he rolls his eyes again at you.

"Yeah, my big nose and acne were really cute."

"Hey now." you scold him.

"You were the cutest baby and the most beautiful boy." His mother scolds him too, actually sounding offended by Jungkook's perception of his younger self.

"You're my mom, of course you would say that."

"And I agree," you butt in, "And I'm not your mom."

"You certainly aren't." he mutters while you narrow your eyes at him.

"Come on. You've seen my childhood photos. I was a chubby baby."

"And so was I." he scoffs before pursing his lips. Most babies are chubby to be honest.

"I had the most awful haircut, not even this," You hold the picture in the air to show it off again, "is that bad."

"Get that photo out of my face." Jungkook says with a frown and you snort again.

"We all have embarrassing pictures, Kook. Come on, you saw the photo where my head was extra large."

"Toddlers have bigger heads, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you.

Rolling your eyes, you purse your lips. "Well, mine was even bigger."

"You were cute. What are you saying?" Jungkook shakes his head. "Mom, do you always have to show my baby photos to everyone?" he whines now like a little baby as Mrs. Jeon waves him off.

You bite back a laugh as Jungkook huffs, annoyed.

The doorbell rings, interrupting Jungkook's annoyance and Mrs. Jeon ignores it, as she informs excitedly it has to be Jungwon with the rest of his family. She stands up, placing the other albums back into the box as she leaves to get to the front door.

You glance at Jungkook, finding him sulking which makes you giggle. Poking him in the cheek, you place the photo back into the box.

"You really were the cutest baby." you tell him and he hums, staring at his nails instead as you roll your eyes and kick him in the shin.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying," you laugh as you already hear Haru's excited little voice while she greets her grandmother. "Why would I lie? You were so cute, even with your big nose. I love it."

"You're annoying." Jungkook comments, narrowing his eyes at you once again as you try not to burst into laughter.

"And you were the cutest."

"Yeah?" he asks, his lips curling as he starts playing with the ends of your hair.

"Yeah," you shrug, almost shivering when the pads of his fingers touch the back of your neck. "I should probably look at this later."

"Like the hell you will," Jungkook clicks his tongue, "I will burn them before you can take another glance."

"Don't be so rude." you tease him, inching closer to him as he searches your face before his eyes drop to your lips.

"And if I want to be?" He arches his brow.

"You little–"

"Kookie!" Haru's cheerful and rushed tiny footsteps resound around the house, the sound approaching the two of you.

Jungkook gives you a little smirk one last time before he hoists up to his feet, already crouching down to welcome Haru's big hug and fit of excited giggles.

The sun is warming up your skin as a nice breeze winds through your hair. Mr. Jeon is grilling the meat, the delicious smell of barbeque filling the air along with Mrs. Jeon's blooming flowers. It reminds you of all those times where you used to have barbeque parties when you were a little kid. It brings you a nostalgic feeling but it doesn't make you sad at all. You're enjoying your time here to the fullest.

After Mrs. Jeon has proudly shown you her garden, her and Sona have started helping to Mr. Jeon and chat with him for a while. Jungkook is too busy fooling around with Haru, laying on the grass as he plays on an airplane with her laying on shins with outstretched arms and legs. Her giggles fill up the garden and it's easy to smile at the cute sound.

"Having fun?"

Jungwon joins you on the garden swing that you've been sitting on for a few minutes, enjoying the sun and lemonade in your hand. You tried to help but Mrs. Jeon shooed you away, telling you that you're their guest and you already helped enough. Knowing there's no point in arguing with her, you decided to just let everything sink in as you enjoy Busan's air.

"Doesn't it look like it?" you smile, his lips stretching to a smile as he laughs.

"Just asking," he shrugs, a can of beer in his hand as he takes a sip. "My family can be too much sometimes."

You look at him with raised brow, showing you your disbelief. "You haven't met mine."

He gives you both an amused and questionable look which makes you shrug.

"There's always drama." you explain with a laugh.

He snorts, "Isn't there always a drama in every family?"

"I guess," you nod, "But mine's on another level." you joke, making him laugh again.

You're trying not to stare too much, obviously knowing about his good looks. He looks good just like you remember. Although you're not some crazy woman who has a crush on him, you have to admit, Jungkook was right when he called you out on your previous crush. Well, it was never that serious as he made it look like. Jungwon holds a certain energy and is charismatic. And he smells nice which is always a big plus in your book.

You could say he got dressed up nicely, even though he's wearing a casual white shirt and shorts. Good looks definitely run in the family.

You two know each other, you could say you're friendly but you never really had any serious conversations with him. Actually, you're surprised he came up to talk to you, even though it shouldn't be such a surprise. He's probably acting nice because he saw you sitting here alone. Which you both appreciate and find a little uncomfortable. You hate when people pity you for any reason.

"How's Jungkook doing?" he asks after a beat of silence, meeting your surprised look as you can't help but blink a few times at him.

"Um, good?" you ask unsurely, "Why don't you ask him? He's right there."

Jungwon snorts, glancing away while his eyes scrunch because of the wide smile. "I do ask him but Jungkook tends to get private. I know you two are close, so you have to know more than we do."

You try to remain calm, not trying to overthink his words because there's no way he knows anything about you and Jungkook. Other than you're his best friend. Jungkook wouldn't tell him that, right? But as you force yourself to look into Jungwon's calm and warm eyes, you don't find anything shady or worth being cautious about.

"He's doing good," you answer, "I talked to your mom about it today. She's worried about him." you chuckle at the memory of their mom and her distressed face. She is cute.

"Ah, yeah. She is worried about everyone," he laughs and then leans closer to you as he whispers; "She's going a little overboard sometimes."

You giggle, glancing at your hand sitting on your lap as you play with the button of your long purple dress.

"I," he starts slowly, glancing at Jungkook as he plays with his daughter, a soft smile spreading on his lips while they still fool around. "I know he must've been through something. I mean, he broke up with his girlfriend. That shit hurts no matter what. He's not gonna fool me with 'I'm fine hyung', you know." he says while trying to imitate Jungkook's voice which makes you crack a grin.

"Jungwon, I'm not sure if I'm the right person to talk to you about this." you tell him unsurely, his eyes searching yours for a while before he gives you another smile.

"I don't mean to pry. If Jungkook wants to tell us, he knows he can. Whenever he wants to. I just know there must be something more to it since they were back together. They seemed happy, he seemed to be happy."

"Does he not look happy now?" you question, tilting your head in Jungkook's direction while his laugh reaches your ears. He's chasing after Haru who keeps giggling so hard that she almost stumbles. Jungkook scolds her and so does her mom, but Haru is having too much fun to even listen to them.

"No, I know he is. But you know... when it happened, he kind of distanced from us. I know it happened a while ago but he never said anything about it. I understand it must be a touchy topic to him. We all thought she's the one, I mean... he was so whipped for her. We could've genuinely seen them, you know..." he trails off, motioning with his hands.

"Yeah, yeah..." you murmur, trying not to roll your eyes at the topic of her.

It's not Jungwon's fault. He doesn't know the rest of it. He genuinely shares his perception as Jungkook's brother and what he knows.

"So it's weird they suddenly broke up the second time. Sometimes people are not meant to be together, I get it... but Jungkook acted weird, so we all were a little worried about him. Like I said, I don't want you to tell him or share something he wouldn't want to... I don't know, I guess I just needed someone to assure me my little brother is doing fine. Other than Jungkook himself."

Your features soften and you offer him an understanding nod. You squeeze his shoulder, wondering if you're not crossing any boundaries but he looks like he has needed it because he offers you another smile.

"He is much better now. Like you said, every heartbreak hurts. He distanced from us too for a while but we wouldn't let him get too far," you laugh heartily at the memories of you and your friends trying to get him to get his shit together. "I would say he's pretty much happy now."

"Good," he nods, "I'm glad he has friends like you. He doesn't share his struggles, never really has so that's why I was wondering. But I'm glad to know he's doing fine."

"He is, don't worry." you assure him and he smiles in gratitude.

"Yah, don't you have a wife to entertain?" Jungkook asks in a distance, the front of his hair almost falling into his eyes as he breathes heavily thanks to the chasing session he had with his niece. He's walking towards you and Jungwon, tossing him Haru's soft ball.

Jungwon snorts and catches it at the last minute, "Just catching up, Kook. I'm a married man, I wouldn't be flirting."

"Yah, who said anything about flirting?" Jungkook says, using his Busan accent as you hide your grin behind the rim of your glass. Slowly sipping on your lemonade, Jungwon gives him a look of disbelief.

The older brother stands up and pats Jungkook on the shoulder. "She is all yours, brother."

He walks away, Jungkook frowning at Jungwon's back before he sighs and joins you on the swing.

"What did he want?"

You snicker, "Just asked about you."

"About me?" he points at himself in confusion.

"Yeah, they're worried about you. Apparently you distanced yourself from them." you tell him carefully while his brows pinch together.

"I mean... I tried to fix that."

"I know, Kook," you assure him, "I think they know there's something you're not telling them. But they didn't want me to tell them or anything. They just wanted to know if you're okay and happy."

"That's annoying." he mutters as you laugh.

"Stop it!" you scold him with a laugh, nudging him in his shoulder as he offers you a grin. "They love you and care about you."

"I know, I know," he assures you, "I'm glad they gave me space and didn't question me about it. Maybe I should talk to mom."

"Only if you want to." you remind him and he glances at you. He smiles and nods in appreciation.

You sit there in silence for a moment, Haru wanting her dad's attention now as he tugs on his shorts while he's in the middle of conversation with her grandfather. Soon your own attention is directed to Jungkook, admiring the tattooed skin he's showing off today. You wonder if he's planning to get more.

His mother almost jumped out of her skin in surprise when she first spotted Jungkook wearing a short-sleeved shirt.

"Jungkook! How many of those have you got?!" She exclaimed once he shrugged off his sweatshirt.

"Don't look at me like that." Jungkook warns you, eyes already locked on you as you bring the glass closer to your lips.

"Why not?" you ask before you take a proud sip of the lemonade.

"Or I will drag you upstairs and fuck you properly this time."

The moment he says that, you're sure the lemonade goes through your nose as well as you start coughing. The rest of the family members turn in your direction and send you both worried and confused looks, as Jungkook shows them a thumbs-up with a bunny grin.

You pat your lips a little as you glare at Jungkook. He's lucky you're too far for them to hear. But most importantly, why the hell would he tell you something like that in the middle of a family barbecue party? It's not like you can act up on your actions right now. He's purely and purposely torturing you, living for catching you off guard once again. And judging by his proud and cocky face, he's happy about your reaction.

You straighten yourself, drinking the rest of the lemonade as you place the glass down onto the soft grass.

"You don't have condoms." you inform him, silently of course.

Jungkook snorts, "Who says we need them?"

Once again, he catches you off guard for the second time in a span of two minutes, and you clear your throat.

"You want it raw anyway."

You gasp, slapping his arm repeatedly as he cackles.

"Oh my god, look at your face!" he laughs, trying to catch your furious hands. "You really want it that bad, huh?"

"Shut up, you idiot." you sneer at him, pouting a little as he coos at you. Idiot. "I don't want it anymore. Not with you."

You sulk, crossing your arms over your chest as Jungkook reaches for your chin with his stupidly trying-to-act-cute act. You slap his hand away with a frown.

"You look beautiful today. Did I tell you?"

Fuck off.

"No, you didn't." you snap.

"I'm sorry," he whines, rubbing his head against your shoulder like a little cat. "I want it too, okay?"

"What?"

He leans closer, too close for him to be acting like this in front of his family but luckily, they seem to be too busy chatting with each other. Plus, they're turned to you with their backs.

"I'm gonna fuck you raw soon, baby. But it's not gonna be at my parents house. I wanna hear you when I do it."

He wants what–

You gulp, trying to act nonchalant as you scoff and shrug. He is serious, you know it judging by the look in his eyes but you can't stare for too long because you're going to crack.

"This is very inappropriate, Jungkook." you remind him.

"So were you rubbing your pussy against my cock not that long ago." he says with a low and silent tone.

You gasp, "That was your idea!"

"And you loved it," he points out, "Don't worry, I did too. Made me want to really feel you even more."

"Alright, I'm leaving." you tell him, standing up abruptly to hide your burning cheeks.

Jungkook cockily rests his arm over the edge of the swing, man spreads himself there like the finest piece of meal. Well, he is. But you would never give him the satisfaction to admit it at this moment. You take the empty glass off the grass, shooting a look at Jungkook.

"Don't look at me like that baby."

You roll your eyes, "Fuck off." you tell him silently so again, only he can hear.

He smiles tightly, suddenly leaning with his elbows against his knees. "You're lucky they're watching." he tells you, causing your breath to hitch as you quickly turn around.

He's right. You turn around and see everyone watching your interaction. Though, they remain unbothered as Mrs. Jeon gives you the honor to take the first portion of the meal.

The sun is settling down when Jungkook approaches you. You're inside, in the kitchen precisely, after Jungkook's mother said something about needing more ice. You offered before she could complain.

You've been chatting with Sona for an hour which ultimately got you to know her better a little bit. She's older than you, not by much and it's not like it's a problem, but you have a little respect and you're not usually the first one who approaches someone first. She's been nothing but friendly to you, even when you first met her and you know she's a nice woman and a wonderful mother judging from how she interacts with her daughter. Jungkook's and Jungwon's parents seem to adore her, and they all have a very close relationship.

What you mean to say – is that it felt nice to be able to properly talk to her and get to know her more, and not from Jungkook's words.

Which reminds you...

"Are you mad at me?"

You flinch as soon as Jungkook places his big hands on your hips, nose nudging you in your hair as he's practically glued on your back with his chest. Your body wants to give in right away, lean back onto his masculine body and make yourself sink into it comfortably.

Jungkook's got it wrong though.

You're not mad at him. Annoyed? You were but you're not really.

"Jungkook, somebody's gonna see." you murmur, scolding him with a hushed tone as you keep removing the ice cubes from the silicone mold into a glass bowl.

"Let them see." he says carelessly, causing you to leave the ice for now as you turn around with a scowl.

"Are you being serious right now?"

You're met with his eyes already on you, no sign of teasing or the usual cockiness. "I'm trying to talk to you. I don't care who's going to see at the moment."

"You're being careless." you inform him of his stupidity, though he remains unbothered while he offers you a single shrug.

"Are you mad at me?"

You roll your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling at the seriousness he's holding. He does seem worried and it's not like that's laughable, but you tend to laugh or smile at the most inconvenient times. Even if sometimes you are mad and yet, you still crack for some reason – even if you don't feel like laughing or smiling.

"I was just teasing you. Fuck," he sighs, "I didn't want to make you embarrassed or make fun of you–"

"Kook," you interrupt him, suddenly feeling awkward and embarrassed. "I'm not mad. You annoy the shit out of me sometimes but–you know I kinda feel awkward about that specific topic."

He frowns, "But there's nothing to feel awkward about. I told you–"

"Yes, I know," You lift your palm up to stop him. "It's a me problem. But I'm fine, really." you chuckle at the end, his posture relaxing slightly.

He lets his eyes wander on your face for a moment, searching for any hint of a lie but all he finds are your genuine eyes shining under the kitchen's lights. "But you haven't talked to me ever since we talked about it. So I thought..." he trails off, suddenly looking embarrassed as you laugh.

"Sona was talking to me and I didn't have the time to spend some time with you. Besides, you were having fun with your brother and parents."

"You're right," He scratches the back of his neck, "I'm an idiot, I don't know why I thought you're mad, I just wanted to make sure."

You giggle, "You're attentive, Kook. Thanks for that. But stop teasing me you little shit." you tell him sternly, poking him in his abs as he chuckles amusingly at your effort.

"Now that's over... wanna join me?"

You give him a look how quickly he brushes it off, both of you snorting at it before you ask;

"Join you where?"

"Mom doesn't have enough beer, so she asked if I could go grab some for dad and Jungwon. She thought a six pack is going to be enough, apparently not."

"Oh, do I have to come?" you ask, trying to keep your face stoic as Jungkook glares at you and tickles your side.

You laugh, flinching at the ticklish feeling.

"Of course, you have to. You are attached to my hip."

"Hm, I don't remember that being a thing."

"Well, it is now," Jungkook says jokingly, features turning more serious now. "But you don't have to. I'm gonna just stop at the nearest shop, it's like a ten minute drive."

Jungkook gives you a smile and pulls something out of his pocket. It's his car keys, you realize he was most likely on his way but decided to ask you if you want to join. He salutes you and makes his way to the front door, but he barely makes a step as you call out his name.

"Okay, I'm going." you grumble, informing him you're just going to bring the ice outside.

Jungkook's father asks you if you could also buy the mini kids sausages for Haru. The poor little girl looked way more calm and a little bit sleepy. Though, it's not her bedtime or that late, her family members seem to take most of her energy. But not enough clearly, considering she's been asking for the sausages ever since you stepped outside to bring the ice and inform Jungkook's mom you're going with him.

"Got it." you assure Mr. Jeon, the older man crouching down to his granddaughter's level as he assures her he's going to grill her the best sausages. Her exciting voice fills the garden that starts to slip into darkness while Mrs. Jeon and Jungwon work on the lights.

When you see Jungkook waiting for you in the entrance room fully dressed, you don't fail to notice the satisfied smirk he has on his lips as you simply grumble;

"Don't say anything."

He doesn't.

But still delivers a loud slap to your ass as he opens the front door for you. His bubbly laugh resounds behind you causing your lips to twitch before they fully stretch into an amused grin.

By the time you reach the grocery store, you're too lazy to get out and in the end, Jungkook is forced to grab the items alone. He doesn't look like he minds at all, leaving you his phone as you go through his music library, listening to various songs.

You're barely on the third song when you see him leaving the store, items in his hands and you guess he didn't bother to take any bag. He looks very amused when you blast Candy Shop once he reaches the car, opening the door on the driver's seat.

You turn down the volume just as he tosses something on your lap, the rest of the items end up on the backseats. Looking down, you almost choke when you see a brand new box of condoms. Glancing at him, he barely gives you any attention as he drives out of the parking lot like he didn't just toss condoms into your lap.

"Seriously?" you deadpan, taking the box into your hands as you scan the new package.

One word catches your attention and you tilt the box in Jungkook's direction.

"Intense? What does it do?"

"Suppose to make sex better or something, I don't know." he shrugs effortlessly as you press your lips together.

"Are you planning to have sex in your parents house? I thought we went over this, last night–"

"Who said it has to be at their house?" he questions you, lifting one brow challenge at you as you open your mouth and close it shortly after. What is he initiating?

"What?" you deadpan.

"One word and I'm gonna pull over." he simply offers, the serious and casual tone he sets could make you confuse and actually make you consider if he's talking about sex at all.

But you're paying enough attention – too closely actually – that the rush of excitement this idea brings you is hard to ignore. How can you ignore it? You've never experienced as far as you can remember. No, you would surely remember if you experienced it. You can't lie – you've always wanted to try it and the thought of doing it with Jungkook is disturbingly tempting and exciting.

And as you watch him closely, driving with one hand while the other sits on his lap, his legs spreaded making his lap look even more inviting. The last night was perfect, something you've never tried before and never thought it could feel so good. It could easily even out with a proper sex. However, nothing's better than feeling him inside you and the small box in your hand is like the biggest treasure, reminding you of what could happen.

Jungkook glances at you, brow raised as he catches you biting on your lower lip in thought, his lips slightly twitching. You ignore it, sharing a look with him.

"The ride is ten minutes. You better think fast."

The proposition is already enough tempting and the way he says it, you know you're once again utterly fucked. The tingling between your thighs and how embarrassingly fast you got wet is no joke. It makes your decision faster and simpler.

"Fuck, okay, pull over."

Jungkook chuckles, satisfied with your answer as he takes a random turn. You've no idea where he's taking you, though he seems to be familiar with Busan streets even after all those years of not living here. The spot he finds is between two buildings, leading you to the dead end while you see a tall brick wall. Jungkook turns off the lights and engine, hiding the car in a dark and abandoned spot. You don't know why but everything increases the lust you're already feeling.

"Get in the back."

You don't hesitate to listen to him, though you slide your underwear down your legs before you do that, your slides abandoned on the car's floor. You toss underwear on the seat as soon as you lift your butt, shooting a cheeky smirk to Jungkook who grins. You're not surprised when he delivers a subtle slap to your ass while you're trying to get to the backseat through the console.

Jungkook joins you but he actually gets out of the car and walks to the back. He places the six pack of beer on the floor while tossing the stupid sausages onto the front door. You snicker, both of you laughing as he shuts the door with a soft thud. He doesn't waste any time cupping your face, connecting your lips together in a needy heated kiss.

Though it feels heated, it's not totally rushed and the pace is smooth and comfortable. With your hands on the hem of his sweatpants, he places one last kiss to your lips before he fully sits down and leans his back. Pulling them down to his ankles along with his boxers, you're already on your knees, ready for his sign so you can sit down on his lap.

You lift your long dress to your waist, gripping them in one hand in a messy knot before you toss a leg over his body. You grip his shoulders as he grabs you gently by your waist. His eyes admire your bare pussy for a moment, flickering to your face shortly after.

"You sure you're good to go?" he asks.

If you weren't so wet and eager, your heart would actually quiver at his thoughtfulness. It's a bare minimum and men shouldn't be praised for it, but with Jungkook you can't help but melt.

"I hope so." you joke, looking down to see him stroking his cock.

"No, no, no. No hoping, sit back down. I'm gonna eat you out."

"There's no time," you whine, gripping his shoulder tighter when he tries to gently pull you away.

He sighs, leaning his head back as he looks handsome as ever.

"Come on. Just fuck me so we can go back."

To enforce your want, you grind against his bare cock and fuck, you almost lose it all. The contact is very minimal but it leaves you moaning shamelessly, causing you to deliver a rough kiss to Jungkook's opened mouth. He closes it just in time, welcoming your kiss in a surprised manner.

"Fuck, baby," Jungkook groans, leaning his head back again. "You're making it hard for me not to fuck you senseless."

"Do it," you offer lightly, giggling at the look on his face. "Come on. You fucked me senseless many times before."

"You woman, you amaze me." Jungkook says, smirking at you when you raise your brows at him.

"Me? How?"

He reaches for your cheek and you think he's about to stroke it, at least the gentle look in his eyes indicates that much. However, he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, lifting the right corner of his lips.

"You can get so dirty sometimes."

"And that's what amazes you?" you laugh gently.

"Yes, because one second you're this innocent and shy Y/N and the next you're so blunt, ready to drool all over my cock."

You snort, "Don't get cocky, Jeon. I'm not drooling over your cock." You both know that's not true.

And Jungkook's smile tells you he knows it too.

"Yeah? You sure about that?"

"Mhm."

He reaches for his cock, grabbing it by its base before he slaps his bare tip against your clit. You almost fall like a house of cards, legs completely quivering. Oh god, he loves torturing you.

He chuckles, deeply and raspily, and you swear if he won't stop, all your rational thoughts will be gone and you'll sit down on his bare cock.

"Wait–what is this?" He suddenly asks, sounding concerned as you open your eyes, not realizing you even closed them as soon as he touched you. And then he swipes his thumb at the corner of your lips. "I think you just drooled."

Your surprise drops as you glare at him, punching him in the shoulder as he laughs devilishly. "Fuck you, I didn't."

"You know, sometimes I want to ruin you. Like really ruin you." he confesses, though he says it with a smile and it's hard to differ whether he's being absolutely serious or he's just joking around.

"What's stopping you?"

"You're not ready." he answers simply and you snort.

"Please," you scoff, "Stop with this dominant shit."

"Huh?" he chuckles, "You're lucky we don't have time for this. Hand me the condom."

"Please." you clarify, crossing your arms over your chest with your bare core still hovering over his hard length.

He rolls his eyes, "Please." he mutters.

With a satisfied grin, you reach for the box of condoms and pull out one. After the silver package is in Jungkook's long fingers, he tears the foil and you watch him putting the latex down his thick and hard cock. You've watched him do that many times before, in fact you almost never miss it but it never gets boring. It adds just the right amount of lust and pleasure to the moment every time. Plus, Jungkook is incredibly hot putting it on so skilfully, with brows pinched in concentration with his jaw set tight.

He motions for you to get closer, sneaking his hand between your thighs as he rubs your bare sex. The slick wetness there is no surprise to him, neither you feel embarrassed at how quickly he can get you wet. He doesn't comment on it, rather pulls you by your waist closer to him. He gets a hold of his cock, slowly easing you down on it while you lower yourself.

As soon as the head stretches your hole, you gasp in delight while Jungkook keeps a concentrated look between your bodies, watching how he slowly disappears inside of you. The turquoise lights in his car just add to the moment, your head soon thrown in the back in full ecstasy as he stretches your wet and tight walls.

Jungkook grunts, leaving you two just sitting there getting accustomed to the feeling.

"Fuck, that feels so good." you moan, your clit pressed against his pubes.

"You alright? Doesn't it hurt?" He still finds himself asking.

You're not entirely stretched, at least you weren't before Jungkook entered you. But the slight burn and tightness just brought more waves of pleasure to your body.

"No, it feels perfect." you answer, chuckling as Jungkook joins you.

It feels awfully good to just sit on his cock, no need to move yet as you would love for the feeling to last longer. But you're reminded of your citation and you don't have exactly the time to prolong this any more than it's necessary. Though Jungkook doesn't seem bothered and gives you all the time in the world to get used to his thickness, you both know what the two of you are doing is irresponsible in more ways than one. But it's about time now and nothing else.

At first, you begin with rolling your hips to get accustomed to the feeling more. With hands still gripping Jungkook's shoulders, the dress seemingly pressed between your bodies, you love how his palms feel on your ass cheeks. He grips the soft flesh, urging you to roll your hips with more pressure as you both take a sharp breath.

When you gradually need to feel more, and you know Jungkook does too based on the way he's trying to control himself, you lean more against Jungkook's form and use his body as a leverage. You start setting a pace as you start bouncing on his cock, Jungkook's head still tilted back against the seat as he watches your expression twist into a pure pleasure. Mouth agape, brows pinched and the sweetest littlest moans escaping your lips – it's his favorite view when it comes to this.

In a way, it could be considered as luck to see you like this. To experience what you look like when he's deep balls inside you and your whole face is twisted in pleasure. He would never have guessed he would see you like this one day. Both of you would never have guessed you would be in this position at any stage of your lives.

Your ass and the back of your thighs meet top of Jungkook's thighs, the sinful sounds of skin slapping skin surround the car's walls.

"Oh, fuck!" you moan, pressing your forehead against Jungkook's.

He's let you have your fun but he needs more. Moving his hands off your ass cheeks, he moves them to your hips as he holds them tightly before he starts pounding into you. The whole moment is so freaking erotic. Even with you being on top, Jungkook is in full control and you can't help yourself, but stop your movements as you fully welcome his thrusts and control. You wish to help him badly but it feels so fucking good. You can't move.

"Jungkook, fuck!"

Jungkook enjoys your whimpers, focusing on his thrusts as his bottom lip is tucked between his teeth.

He feels you tightening around him and almost like with a snap of fingers, your body tenses as the orgasm comes crashing down on you before it fully relaxes. You keep clenching around him, knees digging into the leather seats as Jungkook's thrusts never halt until he snaps his cock forward into you. He cums with a low grunt, filling condom with his seed as he rides himself off the orgasm until he fully relaxes.

You get off his lap with a little help from him, collecting the dress at your stomach so you don't get it messy. Maybe it already is, fuck.

Jungkook breathes heavily, the tip of his hair clinging to his forehead as he rubs it with the back of his hand. He glances at you, chuckling as his throat bobs at the sound and movement.

"Fuck, that was awesome," he breathes out, glowing from the orgasm. "Let me grab you some tissues, they should be in the glove box. At least I hope so."

He's about to sit upward but you press against his chest, gripping his cheek as you confidently kiss him on his soft lips. He's speechless, looking confused and amazed like hell when you pull away.

"What was that for?"

You let go off his cheeks, smiling at the look he's giving you. He looks hot, amazed and cute at the same time. It makes you let out a soft giggle that you almost don't recognize. And then you swipe the corner of his lips.

"You're drooling, Jeon."

He frowns before his face relaxes, realizing what you've done as amused and deep chuckle rumbles out of his mouth.

"Who wouldn't." he responds cheekily, your face completely heating up as your stomach clenches excitedly at his words.

He laughs, satisfied at your reaction. Whatever you do, somehow Jungkook always wins. Even if he's the one complimenting and ruining you at the same time.

#networkbangtan #ksmutclub #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #personasintro

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matchadobo · 7 months

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KIDD; biker kidd au

summary: fluffy stuff abt this hot headcanon of mine that he'll look so biteable as a biker WHAHDUAHDHS LMAO warning/s: borderline nsfw since some nsfw stuff are mentioned but not there is no occurrence of the actual thing, all fluff!!, super hot kidd ahead nGgghhhhHHh

just imagine, this fucking fridge of a man in a bike with a helmet

you'd always be delighted when he picks you up after work with the bike

he'd look so hot leaning on the bike while waiting for you

you'd have your own helmet and he loves putting it on for you, giving you a kiss before locking the helmet

he'd let you sit behind or in front of him, but he likes it when you're infront. he feels your ass more 😫. pros for behind is that he gets cuddles, would always have a hand on your leg

for the first time when you were shy enough to join him in his bike but is painfully required to hold onto him. you'd insist in holding the other edge of the bike even when he insists on you holding onto him, he'd fucking convince you so much to do so mf engineered for you to be in that position!! so when you would be too shy to comply, he'd start up the engine and move instantaneously a little so you can fucking fall behind him and subconsicously hold onto him. he'd be smirking and tightening your grip saying "hang tight, princess. don't want you falling further than you already have."

the feeling of the breeze on your skin while his arms are caging you and you have the free view of the road

he'd always do the thing where the bike goes vertically (IDK WHAT IT'S CALLED), you'll be scared at first but as he does it more often it's an adrenaline rush for both of you

his favorite position on the bike is when it's parked and you're sitting infront of him and facing him. he'll stare you down, lift your helmet, and give you a kiss that'd last a little too long

he'll love pretend-fucking you in the bike, where whenever it stops he'll just playfully thrust into you with a hand on your hip. always relishes on your flustered reaction, not knowing what to do with yourself. gives you a pat on your helmet after

you'd love to play on his bike, pretend like you'll drive it and leave him. mans will be pouting with that usual scowl

he likes taking you on mountains and parking it there on his previously mentioned favorite position, watching the view or doing something more than kissing 🤪

i just think this fits him so well than having a car, he metal like that

just imagine HIS ARMS while maneuvering that shit 😩

whenever you're in front of him, his titties are such a good cushion on the ride, it's so soft!! even when you're behind, you'll be clutching on them and squeezing

if you're down, he'll teach you how to ride the bike. just expect a very non-patient teacher 😞 so expect to get yelled at (affectionately). he'll even take you out to canvas on finding your own bike, secretly thrilled he'll have you as a biking partner

he loves customizing his bike, he fixes and replaces parts on his own. he'd love saying, "hey baby, look at my new fucking tires.", "look at my cool rims and headlights, love" with a proud, nerdy grin. always cooped up on his garage, tattered with grime and motor oil or some shit, always shirtless in the process. it'd be a hot spectacle tbfh!! you'd have to physically drag him out and ask him to take a bath.

he'd participate in races from time to time, bringing you as his little cheerleader. would use the cash prices for dates afterwards and use the remaining for bike work

would get your name somewhere in the design of his bike

during long trips, whenever there's a chance to stop due to traffic or stop lights, he'd let out a heavy breath and remove his hands from the clutches, you'd massage his shoulders and arms. he'd moan silently ij reliefwhile rubbing your thighs as a thank you, leaning his head down a bit on yours

he also loves (begrudgingly) when you ask him to bring you to places you need to go to. especially when you go out to your friends, he loves to show your friends that you bagged a fucking stud like him but more so show off his bike

omg i have been so absent AKASJDHAHD there was just a lot happening with my life plus this was the only hc i can properly execute, i don't want to post anything half-baked!! i hope this one somehow makes up for my absence ><

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inkdemonapologist · 4 months

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[BatIM Cthulhu AU] A couple of doodles from session two, which UNSETTLED SAMMY A LOT ACTUALLY...

There have been small changes, throughout New York -- doors opening on the wrong side of the street, houses ending up just a block away from where you remembered them -- but the only people who can even tell seem to be those who remember Carcosa. Joey, Sammy, Henry, Jack, Peter, and Norman all experienced the strange shifting realm when a Mardi Gras party attempted to bring dread Carcosa to New Orleans, but Susie wasn't there. She can't see the changes we see, and the entire rest of the city agrees with her. That door was always there? The car was always that colour. That's where I remember the address being before, and there's no record it was ever different.

She trusts what the boys are reporting must be true, that maybe there are changes she can't see or remember, and both she and Sammy are terrified. These are only little things, but as more and more of the city slips into the world of the King in Yellow, what else might be rewritten...?

Anyway EVERYONE'S HAVING A GREAT TIME. If you're here for Out Of Context Quotes from our session, I have some of those too, here, under the cut!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] I love how detective Pete is for a guy who is NOT a detective. [Sammy] He just got assigned that by Joey Drew and now it's true. [Joey] Exactly! That's how it works.

[Sammy] The idea of JDS having its own employed detective is really funny to me. "Why do you need that? You're an animation studio." "Well, you know, things come up,"

[GM] Everybody went home I believe, except Joey went to the Studio, which is like home,

[Sammy] Do we have any plan, other than just go in to work, [Jack] I though you were gonna say "other than go insane"...

[Joey] If Prophet's not the one going for the ink, then why is Sammy going for it?! Do they have a SECOND prophet situation??? [Jack] PROPHET...... TWO!!! [Henry] Prophet 2: Electric Boogaloo [Sammy] *tiredly* We don't need any more Prophets..... We don't need any more Sammys..... we have enough.....

[Jack] You just need to sip some ink and tell them it's the wrong number. Like, you've got the wrong guy. [Henry] New stone, who dis?

[Sammy] It was the false king who called through the ink, not our Lord! [Joey] Interesting... [Joey] Joey's going to ask Bendy if he can... feel this? Is he getting calls? *dad voice* Is someone calling you? Don't put your number on the internet!

[GM] Bendy says he wasn't made to be a receiver the same way Sammy was. [Jack] So technically, it's "New Sam, who dis"!

[Joey] Okay, Joey's going to note this all down in his... Notebook Of Nonsense That Plagues Them,

[GM] I'm choosing to believe that whenever Norman called in, he gave some sort of outlandish excuse, and whoever answered the phone didn't... write it down... [Sammy] Like the heckin', grian excuses-- [Joey] "I'm cutting my grass, with scissors" [Jack] Yeah!! He's cutting his grass! With scissors! In winter!!! [Sammy] And then Sammy's like "Do we know why he called out?" and the receptionist is just like "No We Have NO Idea" [Jack] With the most tired sigh. Second only to Grant.

[GM] Fun fact, Norman would answer the phone. [Sammy] Norman actually was just like, "ohhhhhhh i know THIS is some supernatural bullshit happening, I'm gonna stay home"

[Joey] Joey's going to ask Estelle if he looked like-- and give a vague description of Avedon. [GM] .............................. [GM] She is SO impressed that you knew this. [Joey] *delighted cackling*

[Jack] I love how cute Joey is about this kid. Just like... the cool Bendy Uncle! He's not related at all, but, [Joey] I feel like this is kind of how Joey just gets around kids? Maybe Joey does really want kids, just, y'know, doesn't know how to do it when gay? [Sammy] Obviously that won't happen, so-- [Joey] Yeah, [Sammy] --so then you START AN ANIMATION STUDIO, that's the only other option! [GM] Yeah, then all kids are your kids!

[GM] Alright, you've made many phone calls. [Joey] Yeah, [GM] And you only rudely hung up on one of them!

[Sammy] Sammy can surely track that down; he's used to digging up musicians. [Jack] Jack's there to assist with the Talking to People in a way that makes them want to cooperate with you, and not run in fear!

[GM, speaking for Peter] *lists all of the information Peter's dug up* And that's about what he managed to get, today! [Joey] And nothing weird has been happening... to him? [GM] WELL, OKAY. ABOUT THAT,

[Peter] Could you describe again, the strange person who was at the party? What was that guy like? [Joey] *thinking very hard* Which... strange person...? I mean... Denis was there?

[Norman] Try not to fall in a swamp this time. [Joey] I'll let you know if I find one! [Sammy] There's fewer of those in New York, so, I think we're good. [Jack] I mean, you never know,, [Sammy] ...yeah, that's true..... [Joey] HEY, Joey will let him know if he finds one!!! [Sammy] If LAKE PONCHARTRAIN opens up in the MIDDLE OF NEW YORK CITY, that will certainly be something to let all of our friends know!

[GM] Make a social-type checks to have a word with them beforehand! [Sammy] I don't know, if I should do that,,, [GM] SAMMY can make an Appearance check! [Sammy] *laughing* LETS SEE IF IM HANDSOME ENOUGH to get let in!

[GM] Everybody's like "You guys!" You're greeted with nostalgia, and eagerness! and people are trying to small talk you, I'm guessing Sammy's not going for that. [Sammy] I mean, you can try to small talk.... AT him... [Sammy] He doesn't... y'know... it's like playing a game of catch where you throw the ball to somebody, and they just hold the ball. [Sammy] Like.... okay! [GM] I did the thing! [Sammy] Cool, catch successful. [Jack] No give, only throw!

[Sammy] Look, I was trying to drink ink this morning, so I feel like this is a step up.

[Sammy] Sammy will enjoy it! We should do this more often! [Sammy] "We should do this more often" says man who will always be too busy to do this more often,

[GM] They're impressed that, at a job where there was a gunshot right in front of the stage, the thing you want to ask about is where they sourced their music. [Sammy] I LOVE that Sammy's reputation is such that this makes perfect sense to them.

[GM] His name is Alan Leroy. [Sammy] Okay, Leroy works, because then I'll remember it, because of Leroy Jenkins. [GM] This is what's been going through my head the entire time, too...

[GM] They say he's a crazy-talented musician who blew into town a year or two ago? He's really nice and easy to get along with, and when he really gets going he can make sounds come out of his instrument like you've never heard! [Sammy] These... are all.. compliments that would be really impressive except that they can all be interpreted in really concerning ways.......

[GM] If Jack wants to look harder, he can.......... [Jack] I'm doing it, Jack can make little a bad decision! He hasn't made any yet this season!! [Jack] *rolls* That's an extreme success. How much sanity do I lose!!

[Henry] We're ghost hunters. The, the pale guy is a ghost, we're goin' after him. Ghost hunters. [Henry] ...This is why you don't let Henry lead the conversation!!

[Jack] It's occurring to me that we don't know if this guy is alive??? [Joey] YUP! This is a good time to find out! [Henry] Fun! [GM] When have you EVER gone up to somebody's house and found them dead inside? [Jack] Jack hasn't yet... [Henry] The very first scenario! [Sammy] Yeah it was a pretty bad situation as I recall, we were briefly accused of being involved! [Jack] Maybe you guys. Jack's different, though.

[Joey] We wanted to make sure he was doing alright. .....does that need a Fast Talk roll? [GM] Yeah, I was about to say-- [Joey] *rolls* *STARTS CACKLING* [GM] What did you do, do you roll a three again? [Joey] I DID ROLL A THREE! :D THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I ROLLED! [GM] I thought it was the Three Laugh!

[Henry] Henry is tired. Henry rolled a 93. [GM] Well he's out late, you know, he's a family man! He has normal hours, he hasn't been staying up late, living at the studio for the last few years! [Henry] He's regretting not accepting Joey's offer to just go home. [Joey] *muttering* See, Joey knows best!

[GM] Okay, so you guys notice, right off, that the car isn't there. [Sammy] UM. HM. [Jack] Which car did we take again? [Joey] The Mercedes... [Jack] *relieved* Okay good. [Jack] .... I MEAN, NOT GOOD, BUT...

[Joey] No, no I think it's OUR car... it's just... more yellow now... [Jack] I don't like that that means it's getting yellower... [Joey] ...........................So when do we take the sanity hit? [GM] Yeah, that would be now!

[GM] The woman says she's looking forward to when he has his own ship, and they can sail away together! [Henry] [Henry] ...I'm married,...

[Joey] Joey has his face pressed to the window-- no, he probably has the window down, it doesn't matter how cold it is -- and... CAN the window go down? Hold on. [Joey] *sounds of typing* "Car... door... window... down... history... when."

[Henry] Okay, these dice are BANNED. I rolled a 90! [Jack] What if you subtly replace the dice...? [Sammy] With slighty yellower dice!

[Joey] OKAY! There ARE rolling windows, so Joey does have the window rolled down, and he's intensely watching the colour of the car. [Joey] AND ALSO, he's STILL sitting in the middle seat, he's just going to lean over someone to do this. [Sammy] Ah. It's probably me.

[Jack] No, no, Pete and Jack can get kidnapped later and take some massive sanity damage together. ✨Cute date ideas!✨

[Joey] Joey's going to inform Norman that they're going to come over, they need additional eyes on something, [GM] Well, he's good at keeping eyes on things! [Joey] So they'll be over soon. [Sammy] I like how Norman gets a heads up, but with Peter we just show up at his apartment. [Joey] Exactly! [Jack] That's because Joey's kissed Pete. When Joey and Norman kiss then that's -- not good for Sammy, probably. [GM] At least Pete and Sammy are neutral. Non-reactive. [Sammy] Norman and Sammy are "it's complicated" on Facebook.

[Sammy] Okay, we gotta go get Linda, so Susie's not alone, [Jack] We're just playing "how many NPCs can we force Thren to play at once!" How many can we shove in the back of this car.

[Jack] Jack's gonna get home and find out his cats are different colours, [Sammy] Oh NO, [Jack] Comes back and Beans is a tortie now. [Sammy] Or Beans is just an orange cat, [Jack] Oh no! Her braincells! [GM] She needs those! She has all of them!!

[Joey] Depending on who's the affected party, Susie or them, it is actually useful to have a second, like, [Sammy] Someone to compare with? Yeah. [Henry] We don't know WHO the control group is, but ONE of us is the control group!

[Joey] As trusted as Norman is, he isn't one of Joey's... white-knuckle-clutched-keepsakes of a person,

[Sammy] *sarcastic* Okay, everyone ready to go to sleep? That's not a scary prospect right now, right? That's something that we're all really confident about doing? Cool, that's great. [Henry] Yeah, yeah, that's definitely not gonna, it's gonna go great...! [GM] Nobody's even cut their hand on a slick stone! It's fine! [Henry] NO ONE BETTER CUT THEIR HAND ON A SLICK STONE! We got enough problems!! [Joey] (Looking at you, Prophet!)

[Henry] Is Joey,,, sharing this plan with anyone? [Joey] ouo Has anyone asked him?

[Joey] Let's send Henry then! [Henry] Alright. Send Henry to Carcosa! [Sammy] *exasperated* yeah that's fine.... [Joey] It's not FULLY sending him there! It's just making a connection. [Joey] A little bridge! [Sammy] Uggghhhh... Sammy doesn't think we need any bridges to Carcosa. [Sammy] We've got enough Carcosa. [Sammy] Put some back.

[Sammy] This is what happens When You Give a Joey a Dream Spell.

[Sammy] We can't actually guarantee that New York isn't going to sink. That's not out of the question. [Jack] Is the Joey Drew specialty NOT "promising things that aren't necessarily things you can promise??"

[Henry] Actually, before Henry leaves he's going to give Joey a hug. [Joey] He doesn't get to leave. [Henry] Oh. [Joey] But Joey will take the hug!

[Henry] You know this man gives good hugs. You're getting a good Henry hug. [Jack] Gonna crunch all of Joey's terrible, very bad bones. [Henry] He's gonnna try not to crunch all of Joey's terrible bones! [Henry] But, I dunno. [Henry] Roll for damage.

[GM] The lurker knows this is serious, but he's also excited, because he has heard what a slumber party is from Henry's kids.

[GM] Now it is Friday, the 28th of December. [Sammy] Okay. Cool. Let's all make an effort to not ring in the New Year in Carcosa. That's MY New Year's Resolution: Don't Be In Carcosa.

#call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #sammy lawrence #susie campbell #sammy x susie #norman polk #joey drew #when in doubt just keep drawing #quote post #theres no reason for dramatic lighting the cthulhu doodles have just become my Attempt To Figure Out Clip Studio practices lmao #i stuck a cap on sammy forever ago while pondering winter outfits #and it was so cute on him that now it might just have to be canon

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idyllic-affections · 11 months

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i’m in love with the kaveh disaster dad au you have and i would love to see alhaitham becoming closer with kavehs kid. like mr stoic over there having no idea where those books and supplies about that very niche thing they were talking about yesterday came from

newfound fondness.

summary. alhaitham grows a little more fond of the orphan kaveh insisted on adopting.

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. alhaitham & child!reader. 0.9k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. hello dear <3333 i really needed a shorter request to write bc all of my other requests are a bit more lengthy and i'm in just a little bit of a burnout state so i am delighted by this request. i love my adoptive dad kaveh series...... i also realize now that i don't really talk too much about alhaitham and his relationship with [name] compared to how often i talk about tighnari and kaveh's relationship with them. also cyno???? i have neglected him too??????

at first, alhaitham wasn't keen on bonding with kaveh's adopted child; a child would only disrupt the comfortable life he has both built for himself and worked so hard to maintain. of course... he ended up being wrong. terribly wrong.

all throughout [name]'s first few months of being integrated into their new family in sumeru, they don't spend much time—if any at all—in kaveh and alhaitham's shared house. most of their time is spend in gandharva ville or in sumeru city, the latter being either on the weekends with kaveh or throughout the week with tighnari (if he happens to need something from the city and decides to let them tag along). given this fact, it's not at all a surprise that they didn't really know much of alhaitham, aside from the casual mentions of him from their other sumeru family members.

later on, as kaveh slowly grows into the vacant father role in their life, filling the empty space, they start spending weekends at his house... which is really the scribe's house, but at the time, that detail meant nothing to them. alhaitham never bothers to correct them, either. it doesn't really matter.

sometimes kaveh has to run errands and doesn't want to take them out in the glaring midday sun; they didn't grow up in sumeru, and they're already having a hard time adjusting to the heat (not that he's any better at handling it), so he doesn't want to risk exposing them to the sun at the peak of the day. sometimes he has to go meet one of his clients for a consultation and can't take them with him. who knows? either way, kaveh always makes these trips as quick as possible. his weekends belong to no-one but his kid. his clients find his doting behavior very cute, thankfully, so he hardly ever takes long.

alhaitham is always home during these occurrences (kaveh forbids him from leaving, since he wouldn't so much as dream of leaving his child home alone at such a young and vulnerable age—not that the scribe would leave them home alone, but still). naturally, this led to unavoidable meetings.

alhaitham quickly picked up on the many odd behavioral patterns kaveh's child displayed.

they were quiet—with him, at least. they were happy and expressive like most other children their age with kaveh or tighnari or collei, but with him? they never said a word, only speaking when spoken to, quietly shuffling around the house without so much as a peep... but more importantly, he sure as hell noticed the way they'd peek around the wall and shyly watch him as he read. they never got closer than that, though, and they'd run off if they realized he had seen them. based on this, he simply came to the conclusion that they were shy.

...or anxious, he supposes, but there is a vast difference between anxiety and shyness, and what he sees in them is not necessarily anxiety.

eventually, he does get sick of it. it's not like he worried about coming off as intimidating, no. it's just that if [name] maintains a poor image of him, it would eventually be an inconvenience for him. yes, yes, that was all. he just needed to kill a potentially dangerous rumor at its source before it got vastly out of hand. that's all.

"come here."

the way he sounds when he beckons them over is admittedly a little harsher than what he meant to be, so he's very much glad that they still do come over to him, timidly fidgeting with their sleeves.

"since you seem so interested... sit down, i'll read to you."

"h— huh? really?"

"hurry up before i change my mind."

as alhaitham reads to them, he points out words they may not understand and explains what they mean, also going as far as to help them pronounce some words that they mentioned having trouble with back at gandharva ville.

"oh... tighnari showed me that word, but i can't get it right."

they also can't pronounce tighnari's name correctly, which makes alhaitham's lips quirk upwards ever so slightly.

"here... i'll show you. which word is it that you're having trouble with?"

though it is something of a tutoring session, alhaitham finds that there's something... calming about it. he doesn't bother moving them away as they gradually get closer, only adjusting to accommodate them.

he also doesn't say anything when their weight falls a little heavier on his chest.

...did they really feel safe enough to fall asleep, just like that? the thought makes a fond warmth spread in his chest. he has no intention of telling kaveh or anyone else, though.

kaveh comes home later to see his child curled up asleep in the scribe's arms.

(the second he points it out, which of course he does, alhaitham's cheeks flush a slight pink and he coughs, telling kaveh to come get his kid and claiming that they wouldn't leave him alone.

the architect has never rolled his eyes harder than he did at that.

alhaitham's newfound fondness is obvious, but kaveh decides to leave it alone for now.)

from then on, they are just as excited and bubbly when they see alhaitham as they are when they see any of their other family. he's even gotten accustomed to hoisting them up, balancing them on his hip, and just... carrying them around.

oh, and alhaitham has no idea where those hobby supplies came from. he's got no clue where those books on a hyper-specific topic that they mentioned offhandedly the other day came from. he has no clue. none in the slightest.

...

maybe alhaitham is a little soft for them. just a little.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion brainrots 🌸#: [ adoptive dad kaveh! 🌸 ]#favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #genshin x reader #genshin child reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin platonic #platonic genshin #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact x reader #alhaitham x reader

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bangtanfanfiction · 5 months

Text

hopelessly falling → k. sunwoo (tbz)

Based on this ask.

♢ Pairing: Sunwoo x Idol!female Reader → Idol AU

♢ Word count: 6.8k

♢ Trope: 8th f!member of BTS, strangers-to-lovers, Older!woman x Younger!man

♢ Genre: Fluff, suggestive, angst if you squint ig

⌲ Description: Being the 8th female member of BTS has brought you more trials than you could count. Now being the only one left behind after their enlistments was another obstacle you struggled adjusting to, until you found yourself hopelessly falling for someone completely unexpected. ↳ Warnings: Makeout session, swearing. Sunwoo being a flirty menace but we're loving it.

HOBI: Good luck, Y/N! You’ll crush it like always! JIMIN: You’ll do great! JIN: We’ll be monitoring you :)) YOONGS: Don’t be nervous, you’ll be amazing, kiddo. JOONIE: Y/N fighting! JK: Fighting! TAE: Go, go, go Y/N!

Despite the relentless thumping of your heart, or the cold sweat building up on the surface of your skin - there was no hiding the loving smile pulling at your lips as you scrolled through the messages in the group chat bombarding the notifications without you having to even ask.

Your members knew you well enough at this point after more than ten years together that when you went radio silent on all platforms, it meant you were drowning in your nerves.

Frankly, how couldn‘t you? You were the last of BTS to release your solo album, and only after all of them had enlisted into the military with you sending them off accompanied by a snotty nose each time. If you could, you probably would have enlisted as well despite being a woman just to not be alone until Seokjin or Hobi were to return.

Ah…This was hard. You thought, dropping the phone back on the table and looking yourself in the mirror.

Taking in your elaborate makeup and clothes, hair styled to perfection not a single speck of mascara or blush out of place. You were surrounded by people; your management team and stylists. People who had been with you for more than five years, but the loneliness had never felt more heavy than today.

You thought you had prepared yourself for it. Mentally that is. Your boys had also been exceptionally worried for your mental well-being for when it was time and made sure to give you all sorts of ways to communicate with them.

The irony was that you actually enjoyed your own space. Being alone at home for days and doing nothing besides your usual workout routine was ideal, truly.

Until you understood the saying ´You don't know what you have until it's gone.´

Clearly not as overly dramatic or depressing as the original meaning. But still, you felt their absence all the same.

The only comfort you could find from this was Yoongi with his alternative enlistment and still being around for you to find comfort in after his working hours.

But you hadn’t sought out his presence for a couple of weeks now, being too busy with your prep and wanting to let him get used to his new routine before barging in with your cries of loneliness.

“Maybe I should get a boyfriend…” You muttered to yourself, catching the delighted attention of your main stylist unnie, Aera, whose eyes widened at those words.

“You want a boyfriend?” She straightened up as if finding a 50 percent off sale on designer goods, making you regret having spoken at all. “Ooo, do you want me to introduce you to someone? I can set up a blind date! You like them like ten years older, don’t you? All alpha male and stuff? I know a couple of men like that.”

Her ranting and frankly too-knowledgeable about your preferences made you heat up in slight exasperation.

Okay, so what - you tended to gravitate towards buff, white men in their late thirties bordering on forties. Just because you might faint at the sight of Henry Cavill or Chris Evans hardly meant much for your real-life preferences.

Ask Jimin. You dated him – a brief one year - and he was hardly a carbon copy of Captain America or The Witcher.

“Unnie, I’ve already told you…”

Aera sighed before mimicking what you hardly believed sounded like yourself. “I know, I know. I’m not looking for anyone, it happens when it happens.”

It wasn’t the first time you’ve had this conversation with her.

“Besides, why is everyone being so pushy about me finding someone?” You directed this question to the rest of the room, who laughed amongst themselves at the truth of it.

“Because your last boyfriend was Jimin, and that is honestly sad, darling.” Your manager, Yoo-Mi, piped up from the corner while scrolling through her phone. Probably double checking your upcoming schedules and forward emails to the rest of the staff. She was always working despite you begging her to take it easy sometimes.

Turning around in your chair, you frowned. “It’s only been three years.” Going into the fourth since your mutual breakup.

“Exactly, sad.” She didn’t relent, making your shoulders slump, another titter of fond laughter spread through the room. “Listen, Jiminie is great, of course he is. So we don’t blame you for already reaching the top when it comes to standards in men. But when was the last time you had a crush?”

“A crush?” Even the word sounded foreign to you.

“Henry Cavill does not count.”

“But that’s a crush!” You exclaimed. “I could pull him.”

“That’s not a crush, that’s a fantasy. You haven’t even met the man.”

“Rude…” You mumbled with a pout, though admitting defeat.

Damn, so everyone thought your dating life was dry and depressing. Great.

You knew they all meant well, acting like an overbearing family. And in the end, they just wanted you to be happy.

“Y/N it’s time to head out.”

Standing up you took one last overview in the mirror before typing out a reply to the group chat.

Y/N: I'm off now! Love you!

You had completely forgotten how music shows worked. It had been three years since the group promoted for ‘ON’ in the midst of covid with countless of measurements. You hadn’t stepped foot on a show since, besides supporting your members for their recent promotions.

It had also been more than a year since you’ve done any performances within Korea, having only just returned from your American solo promotions - so for you, everything felt more awkward than familiar despite your years of experience in the industry.

You heard the cheers of the crowd just as you walked into the studio where the live recording was going on for another boygroup, the hard-hitting smooth beats making your head nod as you stopped in front of a screen to overlook the stage.

Staff moved around you, securing a mic-pack before your sparkling microphone with a gradient purple to black found itself in your hand. The fans were screaming and chanting, and you found your attention caught without realizing it.

You counted ten guys on the screen as they danced fiercely in commendable synchronization looking like one single unit as they moved.

The Boyz was a familiar group to you, an old memory from an award show where they had asked BTS for a picture with shy grins and you had nearly cooed at their cuteness. Then again when Kingdom: Legendary War had aired you found yourself tuning in to watch every week.

However, this was the first you’ve seen of the group since then - having been far too busy to keep up with all the groups on the regular, never mind every single song.

You were enjoying the song currently playing, head nodding to the beat as you watched on.

Not even you noticed how you had simply frozen at the next chorus, your attention wholly stolen for a mere couple of seconds.

But it had been enough to change your entire world when the moment was recounted by your team in the future.

“Hi, hello,

My name is what you want it to

숨겨 왔던

욕망들을 whisper.”

Huh.

A sneeze suddenly forced itself out of you as you glared at the culprit, Aera smiling pointedly while holding a makeup brush that she had just tickled under your nostrils.

“What was that for?” You grumbled, the room coming back into your attention.

“My, my Y/N - is that a blush I see?” She teased as you scoffed, eyes flickering to the stage as the song came to an end.

“You’re being ridiculous.” You dismissed her swiftly, ignoring the hum she gave and letting her touch up your already flawless makeup.

You were waiting patiently near the stairs, letting your management team take the last checks for your setup as people rushed around on stage to clean up and get it ready for your performance.

The Boyz were making their way down and were impressively quick to notice you, though you blamed it on your bright white clothes in the darkness. You watched in patient amusement as some of their eyes widened, and even saw a member slapping the one in front of him with a muted gasp.

You offered them a friendly grin as their flustered bodies caught up and everyone started bowing, their waists nearly snapping in half as you took half a step forward.

“Please, take it easy.” You laughed lightly. “I loved your performance. The song is amazing.”

The obvious leader stepped forward, again bending at the waist but spoke with a sure and calm voice. “Thank you, Sunbaenim. It’s an honor.”

The members were quick to follow with various choruses of thank yous, however, some had accepted your words and took it a bit easier with the bowing.

“We love your album, sunbaenim. It’s been on repeat in the dorm since its release.” He continued to lead the conversation, the group of young men creating a half circle around you.

“Oh thank you so much!” There was no hint of any pretense in your tone, you were always immensely grateful when people told you they loved your music.

“You’re the leader, right? What’s your name?”

“Yes, I am. I’m Sangyeon.”

“Ah right!” Your fingers snapped in excitement. “I remember you, of course. From the MMA’s…was it 2018?”

Some of their eyes widened in surprise to know that you remembered them. You relished in it honestly, always loving to prove people wrong about the public’s assumption of how worldwide fame and recognition had made BTS arrogant and seemingly unapproachable.

“Y-yes, that’s correct, thank you for remembering us.”

“I enjoyed watching you on Kingdom.” You admitted, noticing how they were starting to relax around you, smiling more easily and paying attention as if you were the president holding a speech. “You were one of my favorite groups throughout the whole second season.”

Again they started bowing and thanking you, luckily less aggressive than earlier.

“Y/N-sshi, we are ready for you in five minutes. Please make your way to the stage, thank you.” A voice announced through the speakers as The Boyz started to bow again and ushered away as you offered brief goodbyes.

But then you made the mistake of looking up, finding yourself locked in a trance of soft, plump lips, thick eyebrows, puppy dog eyes, and a slim angular face - your throat felt parched as your mouth parted, but no sound came out and you snapped it back shut embarrassed.

Kim Sunwoo noticed the sudden strange behavior, as a single brow rose but he remained polite with a simple tug of his lips and a slight bow.

His dark straight hair was parted in the middle, reminding you of the styles from 90’s boybands. You admired the way his slim t-shirt molded against his lean body with the leather pants and a thick silver chain around his neck. A chain he had pulled seductively while gliding across the floor and stared into the camera.

An image still swimming in your mind.

An appraisal that you were quick to scold yourself over as you felt yourself blushing even hotter, eyes snapping away only hoping he didn’t notice your weird actions.

Only to find yourself stumbling over your own feet in a moment of rare clumsiness.

You managed to save yourself the embarrassment of falling to the ground, but only with Sunwoo’s quick thinking. Who had smoothly stepped close and held out a hovering arm just in case you were to fall, his other gently around your bicep to keep your balance.

Fuck, you were making a whole fool out of yourself.

No one had noticed it, thank goodness. All too busy with their tasks to pay attention to the interaction.

“Are you okay?” Jesus, his voice was deep. “Sunbaenim?” He hastily added, seemingly remembering your status.

“I-I’m okay.” You even stuttered now. Since when did you ever stutter. “Sorry, and thank you.”

“You should watch where you’re going.” He offered a half smile, those lips looking even more ridiculously plump and soft close as you stared up at him. “Careful not to get hurt.”

At this point, you were sure he noticed your flustered state as you cleared your throat and took a small step back out of his grip.

“I should get going.” Was all you managed to say in your embarrassed state, swiftly stepping past him to walk up the stage but not before glancing back and noticing the amused pull of his features as he quietly chuckled to himself and followed his members out.

Aera made her sudden presence known as you flinched at her proximity, only to feel your stomach drop at the near-manic grin on her face.

“Now that, is a crush, my dear.”

You wanted to curl up into a ball and scream your frustrations out from that whole interaction, but could only brace yourself with a smile as you were faced with the crowd who cheered as you came into view.

Dozens of ARMY bombs waving helped settle the worry in your gut just for now.

Nicely done, Y/N. Worldwide icon, indeed huh.

You were still thinking about it as you exited the stage studio.

So caught up in your lingering embarrassment and out-of-character behavior that even surprised yourself.

Over what?! A pretty face? A voice that made your skin tingle just by the rasp of it?

“Fucking get a grip, Y/N…” You muttered, fingers massaging your temples as you returned to your dressing room.

Only to walk straight into your next phase of what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you. Quite literally too.

Sunwoo let out a low ‘Whoa’ as you gasped and stumbled back to fully avoid running him down in your haste to hide yourself away until the nominations live broadcast.

The toilet sign hung above his head as he maneuvered both of you to the side and away from the doors.

“Oh my-” You were practically bumbling fool as your hands moved in silent explanation without many words to follow up, but he understood you well enough with a small, charming grin making his eyes crinkle and nose scrunch up just the slightest.

“Hello, sunbaenim.” He gave a polite nod of his head. “It’s one of those days, huh?”

“Yeah…” You sighed in defeat, hardly trying to keep up that big and mighty senior artist image any longer. “I’m sorry it’s been taken out on you today.”

Sunwoo never lost his smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’s hardly the worst thing that happened to me at music shows.”

You nodded thankfully, very much aware that you were avoiding looking at him directly. Just for your own sanity, if you were being transparent.

“You can stop that, by the way…” My god, were you shy, right now?

“Stop what?”

You cleared your throat. “Calling me sunbaenim all the time. I’m not very fond of the stiff formalities, so you can just relax around me.”

“Ah…” Even though you weren’t looking at him, you could feel his thinking. “Then… would noona be alright?”

Your neck might as well have cracked with how quickly you snapped up to stare at him with widened eyes. Only to meet a knowing smirk gracing his dangerously, pretty face.

“N-noona?” You repeated almost stupidly.

“And here I thought my breath smelled or something. You wouldn’t even look at me.” The smirk widened.

Calming yourself in record time, you were composed enough to retort with a halfhearted glare. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“You are making it very easy.” Kim Sunwoo was a straightforward man, you realized. “I suppose I would be too if caught checking someone out.” Well fuck.

Your first step was denial. “I wasn’t-”

“Don’t feel embarrassed about it. I know I’m good-looking, noona. Just didn’t realize it was to the point of losing gravity.”

If you weren’t quick on catching onto dry humor, you might have thought him deadly serious with how flat he spoke those words. But you were well versed with this sort. Yoongi being a perfect example of it.

The exaggerated push you delivered against his shoulder came from a place of familiarity with your own members, and Sunwoo didn’t seem to mind the casualness of it as his facade broke and he laughed.

Giggling along, you shook your head. “You’re good.”

“I know.”

However, your smile fell at his sudden wince and how swiftly he managed to play it off within a second. But you were a quick study and noticed how subtly he rolled his neck.

“Are you hurting somewhere?” You were blunt in your concern, this time surprising him.

“Ah…” He was considering lying, you knew that. Having done it many times before yourself. But Sunwoo brushed the moment off. “It’s just a bit of muscle stiffness in my neck and shoulders, nothing too serious. Don’t worry about it.”

You scrutinized him for a couple of seconds before accepting it. “If you say so. But I wouldn’t be dancing as hard as you did today with that kind of pain. Be a little mindful at least and ease back.”

Sunwoo was appreciative of your advice, accepting it with a gracious nod and another, quite frankly, heart-palpating smile directed at you. You could probably just stand here and admire him for several minutes in silence if it was offered to you, but you had an image to maintain after all.

An image that fell through the moment Kim Sunwoo was involved.

“Getting lost in my beauty again, are you?” His teasing was never-ending, but instead of annoying you it only managed to pull your smile even wider.

“You are ridiculous.” Was all you managed to say with a chuckle.

He bit into his lower lip thoughtfully before deciding against whatever mental war he was having. “Ridiculous enough to ask for your number?”

There it was again. Your dry throat, and the way your heart probably skipped a beat.

“You…want my number?”

“I mean, who doesn’t want a BTS member’s number.” Sunwoo shrugged, that stupid fitted t-shirt and chain catching your attention again.

So you quirked a brow at him, knowing something else was coming. “And that’s your goal? A BTS member’s number?”

“That would be cool.” He was being awfully truthful until his eyes locked onto your own. “But I would love having the number of a beautiful woman more. Perhaps with a date on the side?”

Your surprise at his bold confession was hardly hidden, mouth parting as you blinked up at him expecting a joke to follow.

This wasn’t exactly the first time you’ve been asked out by someone, but it has always been a bigger or older senior until BTS blew up to the point other idols found it too intimidating to approach anymore. It was a love-hate relationship for you in those circumstances.

Yet Kim Sunwoo managed to cross those unwritten boundaries without fear of outside consequences, his gaze firmly locked on your own without notice of anything going on around you standing by the toilets in a public hallway.

“Are you sure you would want to risk that?” Those words tasted bitter on your tongue when all you wanted to do was say yes.

But you weren’t a fool. Anyone getting involved with BTS would always get a spotlight of any kind shone on them, wanted or not. And you made sure to warn them of it.

Sunwoo was not shaken by it. Only quirking up a brow as if saying so what.

Your heart thumped even harder. So you held out a hand and he wordlessly put his phone in it as the clicking of your manicured nails swiftly typed in your number.

You watched as he typed in whatever name he chose to give you in his contacts and pocketed the device again.

“I’ll be waiting for that date.” You smiled with satisfaction to see the top of his ears turning red, brushing past him.

So you weren’t the only one affected at least.

UNKNOWN: What’s your favorite drink? Y/N: Who is this? UNKNOWN: I’m hurt, noona. Y/N: Ah Hello to you too, Sunwoo You changed Unknown’s name to Sunwoo. SUNWOO: Backtracking to the question. Y/N: I’m a coffee addict SUNWOO: Ofc, the drink of life. Let me guess, iced americano? Y/N: I’m more of a sweet latte girl SUNWOO: A woman after my own heart. Y/N: Alright you little flirt Care to explain? SUNWOO: I’m planning for our date ofc Y/N: Oh? Did I miss the location? SUNWOO: It’s a surprise Y/N: Should I be worried? SUNWOO: Why do you keep doubting me :( Y/N: Acting cute won’t help you SUNWOO: heart emoji Y/N: But fine, better not disappoint me, Kim Sunwoo I got high standards after all ;) SUNWOO: I guess the pressure is on

“Hi.”

“...hey.”

Your soft giggle on the other side of the phone made Sunwoo smile without realizing it.

“Why are you breathless?”

“Ah…” He kicked away a stray pair of pants on the floor before sitting down on his bed, making sure the door was closed. “I ran to my room when you called. We just got back from the schedules.”

“You could have just called me back.” There was rustling on your end, and looking at the time he assumed you were just getting into bed.

“I didn’t wanna leave you hanging.”

“Hm, what a gentleman.”

“For you? Always.”

You giggled again. A sound Sunwoo was certain he was becoming obsessed with hearing.

“I tried seeing you today.”

“Yeah.” He lowered his voice just in case any of his members were to hear him. “Me too. It was quite hectic today, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I know how it gets.”

“What did you do today?”

“Besides the music show? Just some interviews and a radio recording. I’m keeping my promotions at the bare minimum this time around.”

Stretching out on the bed, he couldn’t help but tease you. “Of course, the power of BTS.”

“Oh shush you.”

A silence settled between you. But it was a comfortable one, strangely enough. No awkward shuffling of clothes to have something to do, or the tense waiting for the other to speak.

“I like this.” His voice was grating with how low he was trying to keep it.

“...Like what?”

“This. Just talking to you, noona.”

Sunwoo could hear the smile in your voice. “I like this too. Very much so.”

It was hard to say how many hours the two of you spoke every night since that fateful day, but there were certainly no complaints on either end.

“This is fucking ridiculous.” Roughly peeling off the cropped denim jacket, you would feel guilty about how you threw it in the corner later. Aera would understand, hopefully.

The stupid conflict between HYBE and MBC was no industry secret. But you managed to convince your company to give them another chance by letting you promote there this time after several years of avoiding the place.

And did you regret it.

“Do they think they can take me for a fucking idiot because I’m solo?” You seethed, whirling to stare at Yoo-Mi. She had a displeased expression as well, already tapping on her phone furiously as mutters of annoyance spread through the rest of your management team.

You had been on a tense tirade the entire morning with the MBC production team and director about how you wanted your performance to be captured. They were obviously not used to how much creative freedom you were usually privy to and fought you the entire way, with passive-aggressive suggestions going against what you wanted.

They only kept messing up, from your mic glitching on stage to the sound being off in your in-ear despite your several attempts to fix it during rehearsals. So the final product ended up being a complete mess in your own opinion, finding faults in every single frame in the live broadcast, your voice not being clear enough, and backtracking far too loud to convince viewers you were singing live despite having more than enough proof throughout the ten years.

The haters would have a field day with that.

“-a complete mess today, I’m telling you!” Your manager’s voice was going on in the background.

“I can’t do this right now.” With a pointed look a Yoo-Mi, she nodded in understanding as you walked out of the dressing room towards wherever there were fewer people.

You found a random hallway, fairly empty with an empty cushioned bench away from the main area of dressing rooms. Slumping down with your back resting against the cold wall, you closed your eyes with a tired groan.

It was moments like these where you craved the support of your members. If this were Namjoon, he would not have relented in getting this perfect, Yoongi and Hobi right by his sides with their penetrating gazes to make sure. Jimin and Tae would be by you in their comfort, whereas Jin and JK would make extra sure that things weren’t spiraling out of control by being the compromisers in the middle.

You weren’t a pushover, far from it. But you weren’t one for confrontations unless absolutely necessary. Today could have gone several ways with much better results if not for the underlying conflict between business companies.

You don’t know if you dozed off or were simply in your own world. But the sudden cold, damp surface of something on your forehead made you flinch up as your eyes connected with the concerned ones of Sunwoo.

He held an iced coffee in hand, the same one he was pressing against your skin as you allowed yourself to relax.

“Are you okay?”

Standing up, you instead ignored the question and wrapped your smaller hand around his own still holding on to the cup. “Is this for me?”

He nodded, lips peeling back into a small smile as you accepted it. “A caramel macchiato latte, extra espresso shot.”

You had only mentioned your preferred drink once, but he had it memorized already.

“Thank you.”

Leaning with a shoulder against the wall, hand in a pocket - the concerned glint in his eyes never went away. Wearing a similar fit to the one when you first met him, Sunwoo was still as handsome as ever. Instead of a t-shirt, he wore a fitting turtleneck, a cropped blazer that made him seem even broader, and those damn leather pants with silver accessories adorned his hands, ears, and neck.

His slightly bronzer skin compared to others seemed to glow. A feature of him you would never be sick of admiring.

“Are you going to keep staring at me in silence?” Your lips quirked up before taking a sip from the drink, the taste of it getting your mood up.

“Not if you say what’s bothering you.”

“What makes you think there is?”

Sunwoo snorts. “I walked passed you earlier and you didn’t even notice.”

Glancing at the coffee in your hand. “And you went to get me coffee?”

“I thought you needed something to cheer you up.”

So you gave in. “Just creative differences with the director here. My manager is taking care of it.”

Sunwoo hummed in understanding. “But are you okay?”

His brows were furrowed, those lips you could never ignore pulled into the slightest pout. Swallowing your nerves you stepped even closer. Sunwoo straightened up at the proximity but not moving away. He waited for you.

“Can I hug you?” Your whisper practically melted him as everything about him softened.

“Of course.”

Without hesitation, you put the cup down on the bench before snaking your arms around his slim waist, face tucked into the hollow of his neck and shoulder, and breathed him in.

The aroma of ground coffee beans and subtle vanilla, all wrapped up in notes of sweet fruits and blended spices of sandalwood and sage; a scent you would forever associate with him from this moment.

Sunwoo’s arms wrapped around you, hand gently stroking your back as you relished in the comfort he was providing. A feeling you had missed immensely.

You were falling, and there was nothing to stop you from being completely consumed by the orbit that was Kim Sunwoo.

Sunwoo was mesmerized.

Quite frankly frozen to his spot in the dressing room, standing in the middle of the room, drink forgotten in hand as he stared at the screen where you were currently one of the last performers.

Fair enough, he wasn’t exactly old, still young at the age of twenty-three, and being one of the youngest in his group he was often reminded of it. But he wasn’t ignorant. Especially not enough to ignore the fact he had fallen easily and quickly down the rabbit hole that was Y/N of BTS.

Where everyone else saw the star quality encasing your every being, he managed to see past it. Your shyness that you often hid behind the pretense of a bold personality when faced with strangers. Sunwoo could see how you were struggling to be by yourself on stages where you used to be with seven others and had quite quickly used his presence as a comfort to chase your struggles away.

And he had happily complied. It started with texting until he crossed that line by calling you one evening after a scheduled music show where neither had managed to talk, but craved to.

After several of nights of calling each other, you surprised him one evening by turning on Facetime, sending his heart stuttering at the beautiful sight of you all barefaced in cozy pajamas under dim lighting as you settled yourself on a couch.

Yet you still hadn’t found time to meet properly. The end-of-year season was always hectic with the amount of promotions and award shows that went on, especially for his group. Making that long-awaited date having to be put on pause.

Sunwoo didn’t even expect you to attend after that fiasco of a recording earlier in the month until he woke up to a text this morning from you letting him know, with an unwritten hope to find some time to meet.

“Sunwoo’s in love.” A jest from one of his members snapped him out of the stupor as he simply rolled his eyes with a smirk, playing off the words even though they made him sweat.

If only his members knew the truth.

“She’s amazing.” Another compliment followed by several others as his members fell into a light discussion about you and your well-known ability to control a stage and make people pay attention by a single note of your voice. All that without the help of your members.

Sunwoo felt like the clock was dragging by - his energy and hope diminishing with each minute while pretending he was okay around everyone. The award show was nearing its end, with you closing it before all performers would meet for the closing stage.

He must have been one of the first members out the door when the call to gather was announced. His casual eagerness was enough to catch the curious attention of a few members, but he did the best he could to act his normal self.

The stage was packed with the dozens of groups and performances that had joined for the event. Sunwoo made sure to stay close to his group, but he also couldn’t help the way his eyes kept searching for someone in particular. He had caught glimpses of you walking around the stage waving at fans, but also greeting artists who were eager to say hi.

You were keeping close to your labelmates, TXT, laughing and smiling with them openly with an arm looped around Yeonjun’s like an older sister. Sunwoo would be lying if he didn’t feel jealous seeing you act so openly affectionate with them, but he reined in the green monster quickly.

He barely managed to reign in his shock when squished amid the crowd as everyone tried to leave the stage and a familiar hand wrapped itself around his own with a quick squeeze before letting go again. Sunwoo saw your back as you walked away in front of him, still beside TXT.

You never gave any indication it had happened besides the barest of glances over your shoulder.

The next time Sunwoo managed to see you was by being dragged quite forcefully into a cleaning supply closet as the door closed behind him with a thump and lock turning.

He huffed out a laugh as you stood before him, a guilty grin painted on your lips.

“Was that a bit too rough?”

“It was perfect.” Sunwoo continued to chuckle and finally took you in.

The two of you were matching in black, his an assemble of leather and silver accents, whereas you were all sparkling sheer fabric with thigh-high stilettos and matching mini skirt. Jesus fuck.

His throat bobbed as his male mind caught up to what was happening: standing in a small-sized closet in dim lighting, with you only inches away from him dressed like actual sin.

“Do you think they’ll notice?” You asked worried, gnawing on your lower lip. His gaze zeroed on the action.

“My members definitely have, but they’ll think I probably ran off to the bathroom.”

“We won’t have long then.” The downturned vision of glossy lips made him lick his own, in anticipation or nerves, Sunwoo wasn’t sure.

He could hear and feel everything now. The sound of your breaths, the rising of your chest, and the heat of your skin only a fingertip away from his touch. You must have caught on to the same desire because you finally looked at him - as in thoroughly looking, doing an appraisal of him from head to toe with a sly tilt to your head, eyes lingering on the cropped fabric of his shirt - lips pulling up into a smile.

Someone was clearly not feeling shy anymore. He didn’t know if it was a good thing for him.

“-can I kiss you, noona?” Sunwoo cut off any words you wanted to say. And you didn’t seem all that surprised. “I need to kiss you. actually.”

“Need to, huh?” You were clearly very amused by his words. “Then who am I to stop you?”

Oh yeah. Definitely a dangerous turn for his sanity.

“You’re such a tease.” Sunwoo couldn’t help but mutter as he hauled you against him firmly, cutting off your giggle with his lips which turned into a pleased sigh.

Your arms reached up to wrap around his neck, pressed up against each other down to your hips as you raked your nails through his scalp causing a shudder and a groan to leave him.

Sunwoo kissed you enthusiastically but slowly, seemingly on a mission to memorize every single crevice in your mouth, those plumb lips feeling even softer on your own. He turned your bodies around, never separating from your mouth when he suddenly bent only to pick you up.

You squeaked in surprise, pulling back momentarily only to be pushed even firmer against the door, your legs spreading to accommodate him between your thighs, your skirt scrunching up.

That all melted away as you let out a soft moan as Sunwoo finally sucked on your tongue, humming against you with a smirk tugging in the corner of his mouth. He moved away, to the corner of your lips, behind your ear, and down to your neck - wet kisses and his tongue making you pant as your thighs squeezed around his hips.

Your fingers that were already in his hair tightened their grip even further, holding him against you where he was kissing your neck with a breathless whine and Sunwoo only chuckled at your reaction.

Honestly, you hadn’t expected him to pick you up just like that. But no part of you was certainly complaining by the turn of events.

He was more than ready to go further, you noticed. And to be fair, so were you. So strung up with your nerves desperate to find release in any kind that you could have fucked him right in this closet. If it weren’t for the time and place.

Manvouring Sunwoo’s face back up, you only got a glimpse of his flushed appearance, lidded eyes, and swollen lips before you kissed him again. This time much slower, trying your damn best to calm both of you down.

Your feet found the ground again, Sunwoo leaning in over you with both hands cupping the back of your neck almost too gently, but a hold that you couldn’t help but rest into.

It was a struggle to separate, he found out. Pulling back but always needing to dip back in for another kiss or peck. He did it so many times that you ended up laughing.

“Fuck, I can’t seem to let you go,” Sunwoo murmured, thumb caressing your cheek softly as your eyes sparkled up at him.

“It’s not the last time.” You assured him, leaning in to press your lips against his neck for a little teasing touch as you smirked in satisfaction feeling him shudder before nuzzling close.

“I know…” He sighed heavily, obviously not wanting to leave, but the clock was ticking. And the more time they spent lost in each other’s arms would make everyone else around them more suspicious.

So with a heavy heart and frankly, half a boner - Sunwoo pushed himself away so you could open the door. He took the lead, peeling it open slowly and looking both ways to see it was surprisingly sparse with only a couple of staff on the other end.

You held onto his hand from behind him, sneaking out slowly as the door clicked shut. From there both of you rushed to where your dressing rooms were - you only being a few doors down from him.

Just as the sign of The Boyz were in view, Yoo-Mi, your manager came out of your door and freezing both to the spot.

Sunwoo cursed, body tensing beside you, but he was assured quickly to see the almost entertained smirk on the older woman’s face as she waltzed in their direction.

“Unnie.” You greeted her sheepishly, never letting go of his hand. You actually moved closer as Sunwoo bowed in greeting.

“Not a crush, huh?” That was all Yoo-Mi said before shaking her head and moving on. “I’m going toilet, be quick, we’re leaving soon.”

Then they were alone again. Slowly glancing at each other, Sunwoo bit down on his lip before snorting out a laugh with you following with a low laugh.

“That went well.” He grinned.

“We really have to go now,” You gave a pointed look at their intertwined hands.

“Yeah…” His grin didn’t fall as his large hands gently gripped your hips and pulled you closer. You hardly had the power to resist him. “Goodbye kiss?”

“You will be the death of me, Kim Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo leaned down with a mischievous tilt to his mouth, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “But you would love that, noona.”

Leaning up you sealed the kiss softly, hands resting on his chest only to flinch apart the very next second.

“Yah Kim Sunw-!”

Q or Changmin stood in the open doorway with his mouth dropped open, only for the two of them to realize they had placed themselves directly in front of The Boyz’ dressing room.

Giving a complete view of both of them to everyone inside as heavy silence fell.

Well. There went the secrecy.

“What…the hell?”

Simultaneously taking in the jaw-dropped expressions of his members. You and Sunwoo couldn’t hold back your nearly manic cackles as you fell into him for support.

“Am I dreaming?” Someone wondered out loud in English.

If this was a dream, then you would never want to wake up.

Thank you for reading!

masterlist

#bangtanfanfiction #kpop imagines #bts au #bts 8th member #the boyz #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz imagines #kim sunwoo x reader #tbz sunwoo imagine #tbz idol au #kim sunwoo #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo imagines

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