#joshua x y/n
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not according to plan | hjs
summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his. what could possibly go wrong?
pairing: joshua x f.reader
genre: fake dating, strangers to friends to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut
rating: explicit, minors DNI
word count: ~22.1k
notes/warnings: johnny suh as the ex-fiancee (sorry, he's not great in this), other idols born in '95 used as background characters, mentions of past cheating, food & alcohol, lots of "dates", reader is referenced as coming from a rich family, mention of being an escort (minus the sex?)
smut warnings: making out, multiple smut scenes (kind of, it could be a continuation), multiple orgasms, teasing, they're both v obsessed with each other's bodies, protected sex, fingering, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), scratching/marking, squirting, overstimulation, use of lube, i think that's it (but let me know if it's not)
author's note: this fic is dedicated to the lovely @shuadotcom, i'm so sorry it took me literal months to finish fake dating!joshua but here we are anyway. i'm not sure how this one got so away from me either lmao. banner credit to the beautiful @wongyuseokie who (again) did this very last minute. thank you to @wonwussy & @kwanisms for the mid-fic beta. thank you to @wooahaeproductions, @horanghater, @cheolism, & @hannieween for listening to me talk about this and helping with things like petnames & dates.
taglist at the end (& join my permanent taglist here)
“It’s fine, it’s been years and I’m over it. Plus, I’ve been seeing someone anyway and he’s great. So I wasn’t ignoring your invite,” you say without a second thought.
It’s just a stream of consciousness. The lie comes flying out of your mouth faster than your brain can process it. That’s exactly what it is, too. A lie. You’re not seeing anyone and haven’t been in a serious relationship since the person on the other end of the call broke your heart.
“Oh, wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to…well, I didn’t know. My mom didn’t say anything when she said she had spoken to your mom about whether or not you were coming to the wedding,” Johnny says with a little bit of ramble.
“You know how my mom can be, I haven’t had the chance to tell her yet,” you deflect.
“I’m happy for you, then,” Johnny says.
“Thanks, I’m happy for you, too,” you force out. Somehow, it doesn’t sound like the lie you know that it is.
“So, it’s not weird, then? I mean our moms are best friends, so the rest of your family is all going to be there. A lot of your friends will be there. I know you haven’t RSVP’d yet, but…” Johnny starts.
“Nope! Not weird at all,” you utter, hoping that your voice sounds even. “It’d be weirder if I wasn’t there, right?”
“Probably, yeah,” Johnny says. “That’s great, though. Do you want me to mark you down as a yes? I can even add a plus-one, if you want to bring your partner.”
“That’s so thoughtful, but I wouldn’t want to put you out. I know how expensive weddings can be,” you say and try to sound sincere.
“No, it’s no issue, actually. We have a few extra seats that we left just in case we forgot someone or didn’t know about someone’s partner,” Johnny presses. “So we’ll see you both there?”
“Yeah, you will,” you hurry out. This conversation needs to be over.
It’s only an hour after hanging up with your ex-fiancee that your mom calls to tell you she can’t believe she had to hear it from Mrs. Suh that you’re dating someone. Which includes a whole lot of deflecting and promises about when she can meet this mystery man. Another twenty minutes after you hang up with your mom, you get a pointed text from your younger sister. The two of you haven’t ever been all that close, so she shouldn’t be surprised that you haven’t mentioned him. She made her side pretty clear when she maintained her friendship with Johnny’s new fiancée. That new fiancee, a close friend of your sisters, also just so happened to be the girl he cheated on you with. So, she can hardly expect to have a close sister bond. Yet, she seems oddly suspicious that she didn’t know you were seeing someone seriously.
Your quiet Saturday afternoon turns into a full blown headache all thanks to one call from the asshole that you really thought you left in the past. Of course, now is the perfect time for him to pop back up. Now, when you’re even between any sort of casual sex. Now, when you don’t even have someone that you can call up to pretend to date you. This is going to be one of the worst calls that you have to make when you have to admit you made it all up, that you will absolutely not be showing your face at the wedding, and you will also be changing your name before moving away.
For now, you do the only thing that you can think of doing. You call the only person that can give you any perspective on this whole fucking disaster.
“Well hello,” your best friend answers.
“Jeonghan, I fucked up,” you say without preamble.
“This is gonna be good,” he responds.
“I just got off the phone with my mom,” you begin.
“What did she want?” he asks, knowing that it won’t be anything good.
“Well, you know, to talk about this new boyfriend of mine,” you continue.
“You haven’t dated anyone in forever,” Jeonghan chuckles.
“Thank you for that,” you snark. “And then, of course, I get a text from my perfect sister wondering why she’s also just hearing about this boyfriend of mine.”
“Why do your sister and your mom think you’re dating someone?” Jeonghan asks.
“Oh, well, you know. Johnny called today,” you offer.
“Fuck that guy,” Jeonghan interjects.
“He wanted to know why I hadn’t responded to his wedding invite and assumed it was awkward because I was single, so I told him I was seeing someone,” you finally finish.
“For fuck’s sake,” Jeonghan says into the silence and you can imagine his face.
“Right? My life is a fucking mess and now Johnny thinks that I’m bringing my boyfriend,” you groan.
“I’ll start planning the story for why you suddenly left town,” Jeonghan says.
“For real, my life is over,” you whine.
“What are you gonna do?” Jeonghan asks softly.
This is really why you called him. Jeonghan is a shithead, sometimes, and he can be a bit of a chaos demon. He also can be a bit of a schemer, especially when it comes to winning a game. But, he’s unfailingly kind and caring to the people he holds dear. He absolutely hates getting into any kind of real conflict with his friends. There’s that whole side to him that honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly and always has a way to comfort. That’s the side that you get now.
“I don’t know,” you answer, voice just as quiet. “I’m just…I don’t want to let him win, you know?”
And Jeonghan does know. You’ve been friends since before you started dating Johnny. Even though he never liked him, Jeonghan supported you in your relationship. When Johnny proposed, he called your other friends and set up the best engagement party anyone could ask for. From the outside, nobody would ever know that he hated your partner. Honestly, he’s the best friend anyone in the world could ask for.
Before he got around to setting up the bridal shower, which he’d been quietly planning for months, your whole world turned upside down. Johnny cheated, had been cheating awhile, actually, and Jeonghan was there to pick up the pieces. Somehow, he was the only one that seemed to make it better, probably because he didn’t want to act like things were okay when they weren’t. It was easy to cry in front of him, easy to be vulnerable, easy to just let the process play out so you could heal. Even though he never liked Johnny, he also didn’t say he told you so. This had never been something that crossed his mind.
“Okay, you’re gonna hate it, but I have an idea,” Jeonghan says.
“Those are never comforting words coming from you,” slips out of your mouth.
“Usually I’d yell at you, but…” he trails off.
“I swear, if you’re about to say that we pretend to be dating like some romcom, I will hang up the phone,” you warn.
“First of all, that’s rude, I’m a great boyfriend,” Jeonghan says.
“I never said you weren’t, Hannie, you know I think you’re gorgeous,” you sigh.
“That’s true, I am,” Jeonghan says through a laugh.
“But, I also know you remember what an unmitigated disaster it was when we fucked,” you point out, earning an even louder laugh.
“Wow, and here I thought that it was actually great sex,” he says.
“I’m not gonna keep stroking your ego, I already admitted you were gorgeous. I don’t need to praise the sex, too,” you declare.
“Stroking my…come on, you’re making it too easy,” Jeonghan points out.
“Funny, because I remember you being the easy one that night,” you say, finally managing to get a shot in.
“I hate you,” Jeonghan snorts.
“I know,” you answer. “Didn’t you say that you had an idea?”
Jeonghan clears his throat. “Right, yeah. Well, I know this guy and maybe he can help you out.”
“What is he, an escort?” you snort out.
“Do you want my help or not?” Jeonghan asks.
“Yoon Jeonghan, are you about to set me up with an escort?” you challenge.
“No, of course not, just trust me,” he says.
Just trust me might be the three most terrifying words that could come out of Jeonghan’s mouth, especially when you’re not usually on the receiving end of his schemes. It’s not like you have much choice, though. The wedding is in six weeks and you have to find a solution, fast. So, what choice do you have other than trusting your best friend? How could this go wrong?
You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghan’s friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, he’s somewhat new to the area, doesn’t know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. There’s no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but he’s not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what he’s walking into.
Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when they’ll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because “meeting him for the first time at a wedding is gauche” and we wouldn’t want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesn’t actually exist since you haven’t posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesn’t seem to allay her suspicions, though.
Then, there’s the fact that you’re actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldn’t exactly press the point. Not when you’re planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your ex’s wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you don’t know what Joshua looks like. Don’t know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that he’ll already be at the table when you get there.
It works.
When you give the reservation name at the host stand, you’re immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. It’s not even that you struggle around new people, this is just…well, it’s a lot. It’s out of anyone’s comfort zone. Whatever you’re expecting, it’s not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks.
His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. That’s all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While you’re appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you.
In one fluid motion, he’s standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, there’s nothing you can do. You’re completely captivated.
“You must be Joshua,” you say. Brilliant, you think. That’s obvious.
“It’s nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,” he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you.
“I feel like he hardly told me about you,” you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.
“Then why did you agree to go out with me?” Joshua asks.
“Go out with…is this a date?” The question comes tumbling out.
Joshua’s eyes widen in genuine confusion. “Is it not?”
“What, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?”
A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how he’s somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information.
In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact that’s hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks he’s crafty and isn’t going to come out and tell this man what you’re really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that “offhand comment” was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what he’s getting into. Rookie move.)
Now you’re in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans you’ve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. It’s just…well, you’re absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. It’s just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.
To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didn’t actually realize it was a date. It’s hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that he’s absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that you’re not actually looking for something right now. Interesting.
“So that’s the whole thing and now that I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you, I’m sure you’ll understand if we never see each other after tonight,” you finish.
“How am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we don’t see each other after tonight?” Joshua wonders.
“I…what?” you sputter out.
“Well, sure, we need to work out a few details, but I’m game,” Joshua says with a shrug.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m just really confused?” You don’t even have food yet and this is already the most interesting date you’ve been on, possibly ever.
“I, uh, may have left a part of my past out when I was sharing what Jeonghan knew about me,” Joshua says. “And honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t catch it or that he did this. I’d be mad if I wasn’t so impressed by how crafty it was.”
“I’m going to need you to connect some dots for me,” you admit. “Oh and also never tell Jeonghan you appreciate him being crafty. His ego is too big as it is.”
“The first time Jeonghan and I hung out, we went out for drinks, got a little wasted, and I told him about how I got through my university studies without any debts,” Joshua says, pausing long enough for someone to set the appetizer down. “He’s observant, Jeonghan, I’ll give him that. He noticed I had designer clothes, shoes, that kind of thing. And he noticed I didn’t pay attention to the prices of the drinks. So I made a vague comment about being lucky to have found a way through my studies without taking out loans.”
“I’m sure he asked you about that, he loves it when he thinks there’s a scheme,” you note with a smile.
“You’re right about that,” Joshua agrees. “So I, well I told him. When I was in school, I met this woman out one night and she paid me to go to events with her. She wanted, and these were her words, ‘someone young and hot’ with her. And the next four years, that’s what I did. I let people pay for me to go to events with them. Never more than that. I was clear that I wasn’t selling sex or anything, just company.”
You lean back in your seat with an appraising look. “An entrepreneur from the beginning.”
“Hey, no judgment,” Joshua says. All you can do is smile.
“I’m not judging, that was really smart and you’re obviously attractive enough for it,” you acknowledge.
“Thank you,” Joshua says. It doesn’t have the air of cockiness Jeonghan’s answer would. He actually seems sincere in accepting the compliment.
“But, I’m still not going to pay you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” you say, even if it’s a bit reluctant.
“I wasn’t asking you to,” Joshua shrugs. “You don’t have to pay me.”
“Why would you offer to pretend to do something like this? You don’t even know me,” you point out.
“No, I don���t. But, you seem like a good person. And I like Jeonghan, he’s nice…” Joshua says, stopping when you try to cover a scoff.
“Nice?” you question when you’re caught.
“Wrong word choice,” Joshua dismisses. “He seems like the kind of person that’s a loyal friend, like he would go into battle to protect you. Like someone you can actually trust.”
“He is all of those things, yeah,” you admit.
“And if those things are true, then him holding you out as his best friend means you’re probably all of those things too,” Joshua reasons.
“I try to be,” you agree.
“Plus, Jeonghan did mention you had seriously dated someone that was pretty rich, so I figure it’s probably the guy getting married and it’ll be a nice wedding,” Joshua says with a smile. The joke is obvious by the look in his eyes.
“It’s interesting that he mentioned Johnny, that’s my ex, being rich,” you idly comment.
“Is he not?” Joshua wonders.
“Jeonghan is a lot of things, but he’d never lie to his friends,” you answer first. “So, yeah, he is. Well, his family is at least. His mom and mine run a lot of events together, like galas and shit. That’s how we all know each other.”
“Are you rich, too?” Joshua wonders. There’s that little twinkle of something in his eyes again, but there’s also sincerity.
“I’m still not paying you,” you retort.
“Fine,” Joshua agrees.
You roll your eyes. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
There’s a weird world’s colliding feeling to having both Jeonghan and Joshua in your apartment. But, Jeonghan doesn’t like to be left out of things. Once you told him that you and Joshua both knew about his scheming, he offered to help in any way he could. Which is likely just so he’s included. You’ll take what you can get. Now, it means that he and Joshua are sitting on your couch, scrolling through pictures on Joshua’s phone to decide what to include in an instagram post. That’s the first step you and Joshua agreed on. If you’re going to sell this whole fake relationship, then your sister actually is right. There has to be some sort of proof of it online. Which also means that your post has to talk about how you’ve been keeping it quiet and just enjoying getting to know each other without any pressure. Jeonghan takes credit for that, even if you got there on your own.
“I think I like this one,” Jeonghan says and turns the phone around to show you.
“Why that one?” you ask.
“Why not? Don’t you like it?” Joshua worries.
“I don’t know, I feel like my hand is doing something weird,” you point out.
“You look great,” Joshua assures you.
“Oh, ew, you’re not really dating,” Jeonghan complains.
“You do know you’re going to have to stop saying that, right?” you ask.
“Maybe I didn’t know either,” Jeonghan shrugs.
“No, I’m with her, you’re her best friend and you definitely would’ve known,” Joshua agrees.
“Why are you on her side already?” Jeonghan whines.
“Because she’s cool and she’s not the one who knew what I did in college and set me up,” Joshua says with a laugh.
This is how it’s been going for the last hour. You’re not really much for putting a lot of effort into your posts, so this all feels like too much. But, you know that it’s important for it to feel real and it’s important to get it right. You’re honestly pretty happy to just let the guys take the lead and go with the flow of it all. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to take the lead. You’re going to take your breaks where you can.
(That had also meant not putting up too much of a fight when Jeonghan told you to bring multiple outfits with you. Or when you had to change your hairstyle and makeup between the photos so it looked like they hadn’t all been taken the same day. Honestly, this was so much easier for Joshua. Then again, he’s the one doing you a favor. So maybe you can let him have it.)
After you finally get your couple pictures posted, and get a flurry of messages ranging from surprise to congratulations, you move onto preparing Joshua to meet your parents, your sister, and her husband. Jeonghan is actually a lot of help with that because he’s been around them a lot. Well, he’s helpful after he tries to scare Joshua about how intimidating it’s going to be only to give up when Joshua is unbothered. He’s so calm about everything that it’s actually kind of nice to be around. And he has no problem firing back at Jeonghan, which is really fun to watch.
You go through what your parents are like, what they do both for work and as hobbies. Joshua perks up at the mention of your dad loving music and sometimes spending his weekends just exploring new venues. It seems like there might be more to that, though you don’t press when he waves it off. It’s different when you talk about your sister, two years younger and already married. Not that you’re dying to be married or even care that she got married before you. That’s always seemed like a weird societal expectation, anyway. What does it matter when anyone gets married? If it’s their right person, then it makes sense. You being upset over your failed engagement really doesn’t have anything to do with your sister’s marriage, despite her instance it does.
It becomes obvious that you’re losing Jeonghan’s attention when you turn down his request to start playing games or watch a movie. It’s not that you don’t want to do those things, it’s just that you have a lot to cover in far less time than you realized. Sure, the wedding is still weeks away. What’s not weeks away is your first dinner with your family. That’s going to be around the corner. The least you could do, you figured, was plan a time before posting pictures on instagram. So, Jeonghan asks if it’s okay to leave and you almost sigh in relief. This will be easier without an extra person.
“Not to pry, but what’s the deal with you and Jeonghan?” Joshua asks when you settle back on the couch with a glass of wine.
“What do you mean?” you ask.
“I don’t know, I feel like I was picking up on something,” Joshua shrugs.
“We’re really just friends,” you assure him.
“Sometimes those are the best…” Joshua starts.
“Don’t,” you cut off. He worries for a second before he realizes you’re smiling. “We did try. Not so much a try, I guess, but we slept together maybe 6 months after Johnny and I broke it off and it just wasn’t it.”
“You and him slept together?” Joshua questions.
“Is that weird for you?” you ask.
“No, it’s just interesting that you’re still so close,” Joshua observes.
“I guess,” you say with a shrug. “He’s great, obviously attractive, but we just, I don’t know. I didn’t feel anything. Neither did he. So, staying friends seemed like the right choice.”
“Interesting,” is all Joshua says. “Have you dated anyone seriously since Johnny?”
“Not that seriously, no,” you admit. “I’ve gone on dates with different people and some of them stuck around for a bit, but nothing serious.”
“Not finding the right people?” Joshua presses.
“I just haven’t found anyone that made me feel like Johnny did at the beginning or even like I did when he proposed,” you say.
“I can understand that, even if I don’t really get it. You’re gorgeous, anyone would be lucky,” he says smoothly. You cover a blush with a slight eye roll.
“I guess that’s why most of my close friends will also believe that I kept a new relationship on the low. They saw me post-Johnny and have seen me try to date,” you share.
“Yeah that’s good for us, at least,” Joshua agrees.
“What about you, though? When was your last relationship?” you ask.
“Ah, well it’s been a little over a year,” Joshua says.
“Bad ending?” you wonder. You’re not sure why you press him on it.
“It wasn’t great,” Joshua says with a chuckle. “She, uh, well she decided that she just really would rather be with one of my friends than with me.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that,” you say, suddenly sorry.
“No, no, it’s fine,” he says. “She didn’t actually cheat on me, but she had started getting close to him and sharing everything with him.”
“Arguably worse, in my opinion. Emotional cheating is still a thing,” you say, trying to offer comfort.
“Thank you,” Joshua says. His eyes are soft and full of care. “And, like you, I have dated since then, just nothing worth talking about.”
It’s an easy transition from that into talking about your backgrounds. Like speed dating, except somehow more intense. You learn Joshua’s birthday, his parents names, that he’s an only child, and where he grew up. Nothing is too small and you joke about taking notes before you actually go to get a notebook. Joshua tells you his favorite color and his favorite food, tells you about his favorite memories, favorite places where he grew up, and favorite places he’s found since moving here. There’s a way that his face lights up when he talks about his friends that’s drawing you in. You tell him the same. That all feels a little surface level, which you point out. If this is going to work, it has to be deeper, more serious.
That’s when something seems to almost break down. Joshua suggests that you tell each other the deep stuff, the things that you don’t always admit to someone you’re dating. Or, maybe you admit it and don’t get into the reasons why. When Joshua goes first and admits that he’s happiest when he’s playing his guitar, even if nobody else is listening, his whole face changes. It’s like a completely different version of him. He’s got an open face as it is, that hasn’t changed, but you realize maybe he’s a little guarded behind the smile as well. Maybe there really is more depth than he wants anyone to realize. Maybe this is going to be more interesting than you thought.
“Can I hear you play?” you ask. His face is adorable with his eyes full of surprise.
“You want to hear me play?” There’s an emotion you can’t place when he looks at you.
“I love music, too, Joshua,” you say softly. “I’d love to see what you’re passionate about.”
“Oh, well, I usually play at this acoustic night on Thursdays at a coffee shop downtown,” Joshua tells you.
“You do? That’s so cute!” you say before second guessing it. He looks away like he’s a little embarrassed and you worry for a split second.
“I’d love it if you came by,” he says.
“It’s a shame that we can’t say that’s where we met,” you admit.
“Wait, that would be a good idea, actually,” Joshua says and you smile.
“It would be, but I also know events like that. It’s always a similar crowd so I’m sure someone will know that I’ve never been,” you reason.
“Fair point,” Joshua concedes.
“Why don’t we just say we met on a dating app?” you suggest and Joshua pulls up his face. “Okay, I know apps are lame and honestly, I don’t use them much. But, think about it. That’s the perfect reason why we didn’t bring it up until now, we didn’t want to answer the ‘where did you meet’ question by saying an app.”
“Okay, yeah, I do actually like that because it’s easy and it doesn’t feel like a wild story,” Joshua says.
“What about your parents?” you ask. “Do we need to make plans to meet them if you’re also posting about me?”
“We can figure that out, but they live pretty far away so it would probably just be over FaceTime or something,” he says.
“I also understand if you don’t want to do that because we’re just pretending,” you suggest.
“No, it’d be cool to have you meet them. Even if the relationship isn’t real, I’d like to be friends for real, so that’s not a total lie,” Joshua reasons.
“I’d like to be friends too,” you agree. “How long have you been living here, now?”
“Oh, um, like 8 months?” Joshua says like a question.
“I was figuring like a month or two with the way Jeonghan talks about you,” you laugh.
“You’ve been friends with him for years, you’re not actually surprised,” Joshua points out.
“Okay so now I guess we have to figure out when we started dating,” you comment.
“And everything else, but we can do it,” Joshua says.
You’re a little nervous sitting on your couch waiting for Joshua to show up. Even though you offered to pick him up for dinner with your family tonight, he insisted on being the one to drive. Of course he’s right on time, which you’re already realizing is a trait of his. He’s even a gentleman when he opens the door for you, just like he pulled the chair out the first time you met for the date-not-date. As you put your seatbelt on, you notice that there are a few things in the backseat.
“What’s all that?” you ask as he slides into the driver’s seat.
“Flowers for your mom, a bottle of scotch for your dad, and a cheese board for your sister because you said they just moved and she likes to host,” Joshua lists off as if it’s nothing.
“You did not have to get things for all of them,” you point out.
“Of course I did, but I also wanted to. I’m trying to make a good impression,” he says, making your heart a little light.
“That’s so kind,” you whisper out.
“Oh, I thought of something else,” Joshua shifts. You’re worried you made him uncomfortable until he speaks again. “Are you a pet name person in relationships?”
That makes you snort, something that would embarrass you in any other situation. It’s not the first time he’s heard it, though. “That depends on what you want to call me.”
“That’s a dangerous way to say that,” Joshua answers. His eyes are still on the road, yet you don’t miss the way he reacts.
“I don’t like overly cutesy names,” you say to diffuse a little bit of the moment. “Like, I don’t know, if you want to call me sugarplum or honeybunch or something like that, please don’t.”
“You’re just giving me ideas to take away my fun,” he pouts.
“Well, what were you thinking of calling me? Or are you even a pet name person?” you ask.
“I do like them,” Joshua says. “I’m not sure that I have a go-to or anything. For you, I might say angel or possibly darling.”
“I think I prefer angel, if I’m allowed to pick,” you say after a moment.
“Of course,” Joshua replies. Studying his face, you’re looking for a hint of mocking or insincerity, but there’s nothing to find. This is just him.
“Do you want me to use a pet name for you?” you wonder.
“I’d happily take one, no pressure, though,” he says.
“I’ll have to think about it,” you tell him. “Something generic like babe doesn’t feel right.”
“Are you saying I’m special?” Now you can hear the light teasing in his voice.
“I take it back, any more compliments are going to go to your head,” you huff out.
As you get closer to your parents’ house, you start to bounce your knee with an excess of nervous energy. It’s not until Joshua reaches a hand out to take one of yours that you’re even sure you’re doing it. There’s something calming about it, though. Nothing about him reaching out feels like he’s trying to stop you, just show that you’re not alone in this. Which is more than welcome. The last person you brought to meet your parents was Johnny. Given how that ended and why Joshua is around in the first place, it’s not exactly the most comforting thought.
Once you pull up to their house, you take a deep breath. It’s only to settle your rising nerves, but it also serves to give Joshua enough time to come and open your door. Even though you’ve told him that he doesn’t need to be this sweet, he insists. Without saying a word, he holds out a hand to help you out of the car. Instead of dropping your hand once you’re out, he uses it to pull you into him and wraps his arms around you. There’s this immediate sense of comfort, like you have actually been dating for months. You inhale his cologne without meaning to, something warm and woodsy.
“It’s going to be fine, parents love me,” he assures you when you pull away.
“I don’t doubt that,” you say, releasing the breath you were holding and your tension with it.
“So come on, my little granola wrapper, let’s go,” Joshua says as he lets you go to get the gifts out of his backseat.
It takes you a full few seconds to register what came out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, what did you just call me?”
“Is that not the one?” he asks, eyes alight with some kind of mischief.
“I’m not going to encourage this,” you huff.
“Whatever you say, jellybean,” he throws out casually.
The second you step into the house, you see exactly what Joshua means. Your mother is fawning over him in a matter of seconds, your father is making plans to show him his records, your sister’s husband is asking when they can go out for drinks, and your sister even holds back the snark. All during the course of the pre-dinner drinks and largely, you think, due to the gifts that Joshua brought. He had a reason for the meaning behind the type of flowers for your mother, a favorite musician who swore by the scotch for your dad, and even bought the cheese board from a small business that customized things.
Dinner comes along and you still feel like you’ve barely said anything with Joshua masterfully steering the conversation. He even makes it sound good that you met on an app, with his improvised story of wanting to meet people in a new city. According to him, he wasn’t expecting to meet someone like you and was done for the second he saw you sitting at dinner. It’s something real, that you met him for dinner the first time at a fancy downtown restaurant. And you realize you never actually asked what his impression was that first night. More than once, you catch yourself watching his profile as he talks to one of your family members. Everything about him is at ease and you wonder if it really is all fake. Not that you think anything about him is disingenuous, he’s just really good at making people like him.
The only hiccup doesn’t come until your mother is pulling out dessert. According to your sister, she’s got an excellent pie in the refrigerator that you simply have to try. You’re about to say something when Joshua beats you to it.
“I don’t think my little sugarplum likes fruit pies, but it sounds amazing and I’d love a piece,” Joshua interjects smoothly.
Your sister nearly spits out her drink, whether it’s at the nickname or him speaking up for you, you’re not sure. In any other situation, you would scold him for the name, but you’re a little stunned he remembers you don’t like pie. It came up once in a rapid fire of likes and dislikes.
“You’re right, she doesn’t,” your sister agrees. “I’d almost forgotten.”
(That’s when you’re sure it was another of your sister’s tests. Trying to catch you in some kind of lie about your relationship. But, it doesn’t work and you feel a little victorious for that.)
The doorbell rings through the house and you look to your mother, silently asking if she’s expecting someone. It’s unusual for them to have company calling this late on a Friday night. It’s usually reserved for dinners with friends or family or galas. Unsurprisingly, your mother doesn’t seem to know who it could be, but disappears to answer the door all the same. When a voice drifts through from the hallway, you freeze on the spot.
“I really just came by to drop that off for my mom, I didn’t realize it was so late. I’d hate to intrude on dessert,” the guest says.
“Nonsense, you’re not interrupting,” your mother insists.
“I saw an unfamiliar car, so I figured you might have guests,” he says as they come through the doorway into the living area.
Your heart stutters a little in your chest, feels heavier for seeing him. Somehow he looks taller and broader than the last time you saw him. He’s wearing his hair shorter and he looks more mature, somehow, like he’s seen so much more of the world than when you were together. Which is probably true, if you think about it. It’s been a couple years and that means he’s had more time working with his father.
“That would be my car,” Joshua says, getting to his feet immediately and extending his hand. “I’m Joshua.”
“Johnny,” he answers and shakes Joshua’s hand. Yet, his face looks a little tense and his eyes mostly stay on you.
“It’s just family,” your mother shares, though Johnny can obviously see that himself, “since our darling daughter finally brought Joshua around to meet us.”
“I’m glad she did, dinner was wonderful and the company was even better,” Joshua says with a smile at your mother. She nearly blushes at his compliment.
“Oh, hush,” your mother says with a wave of her hand. “I was just getting some pie if you’d like to stay for a piece, Johnny. Although, I’d hate to keep you from home.”
Joshua sits back down next to you, a little closer than is strictly necessary, and puts his arm along the back of the couch behind you. You feel safe pressed up against his side like that. Johnny clears his throat when he looks away from the pair of you. “Gabby has been out of town all week, actually, so I’m going back to an empty home anyway. I’d love to stay for a piece of your famous cherry pie.”
“Great!” your mother says and disappears off into the kitchen.
“What’s got Gabby away?” your sister asks.
“Just a conference,” Johnny answers. “There was a final banquet tonight and she’ll be home tomorrow.”
“She’s busy, away this week, bachelorette next weekend,” she says offhand.
“Keeping tabs on when everything is?” you ask of your sister. She looks at you like you’re crazy and Johnny looks awkward.
“No, I was invited to it,” your sister answers evenly.
Before you can even answer, Joshua is speaking up. Probably sensing your discomfort. After all, you hadn’t gotten to tell him that Johnny’s fiance is friends with your younger sister. They had gone to school together and been close. Stealing her sister’s fiancée doesn’t seem to have impacted the friendship.
“You must be excited with the big day getting so close,” Joshua says. He moves his arm from behind you so that he can take your hand on your thigh. It makes you look down at your hands before glancing at him, only to find his gaze on you already. It also means you miss the way Johnny follows the movement.
“Uh, yeah, I mean, I’m definitely excited. It’s just been a lot of planning,” Johnny says.
“I bet,” Joshua says. “Thank you so much for inviting me, I know how stressful changes can be.”
“It’s no problem, I’m happy you’ll both be there,” Johnny says.
With almost a practiced subtlety, Joshua squeezes your hand. There’s so much in that one movement. A reassurance, a reminder to breathe, a reminder that he’s there, a promise that everything is going to be okay. Your heart hurts seeing Johnny sitting in the living room so casually as if nothing happened, but it doesn’t hurt as much as you expected. Maybe that has something to do with this impossibly kind, completely idiotic person next to you. You also can’t help the way your gaze lands on him. Just in profile, at first, before he senses your look and turns to you with a dazzling smile. It’s like there’s nobody else in the world but the two of you.
The conversation shifts slightly when your mother comes back in with a tray full of pie slices and your father comes back with whatever record he was looking for to show Joshua. Just like that, you survive your first in-person interaction with Johnny. Actually come out of it feeling like you might be able to handle this. The smile you send Joshua while he’s eating his pie is so fond that you’re not even sure who you are.
“I can’t believe you didn’t call me last night,” Jeonghan says in lieu of a hello.
“Hello to you too, I’m good, thanks for asking,” you retort.
“Greetings are for people who remember their best friends, not for people who send a single sentence recap after bringing their fake boyfriend home to meet the family,” Jeonghan states immediately.
“That’s a very long rule,” you note.
“Deserved, though,” Jeonghan says.
“I was tired, Han, it was a long night,” you explain.
“A long night where your ex showed up,” he reminds you.
“That actually wasn’t so bad,” you admit. “Joshua made it feel pretty easy.”
“Oh did he now?”
You don’t have to be in the same room as Jeonghan to hear the expression on his face when he says that. “It was just easy, Jeonghan, nothing more than that.”
“What did your parents think?” he asks, switching gears.
“They loved him, like actually loved him. My mom was enamored and kept calling him handsome. My dad was talking about music with him and making plans to go check out some acoustic music venue. Even the ice queen couldn’t find anything to fault him for,” you share.
“She’s less of an ice queen and more of a mean girl and a bitch,” Jeonghan adds.
“You said it,” you mumble.
“I mean, come on, who thinks it’s okay for their friend to sleep with their sister’s fiancé? And then stays friends with the girl?” Jeonghan gets really defensive with this. He would ride for you to the ends of the world, which you do love. Just not today.
“I don’t wanna relive that whole thing, it’s done and over. Nothing to do now,” you say, weariness seeping into your voice.
“Would you want to do anything about it?” Jeonghan asks.
“What do you mean?” You answer the question with a question.
“Like would you want to go back to when you were with Johnny?” Jeonghan asks.
You think about it for half a second. “No.”
“That was fast,” Jeonghan comments.
“What’s there to go back to? He made his choice and I’m fine, honestly. It was weird seeing him and hearing him talk about his wedding, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” you say.
“Is that because of your Prince Charming?” Your best friend, always doing the most, puts this question into a sing-song voice.
“He’s not a Prince Charming. You’re so annoying,” you scoff.
“I don’t know, he sure seems to be saving you,” Jeonghan presses.
“I can’t with…” you start, trailing off at the knock on your door.
“Who’s there?” Jeonghan asks.
“No clue,” you answer, getting off your couch to go see.
“I bet it’s Prince Charming,” Jeonghan laughs out.
“Would you fuck…” you begin as you open the door to find the very subject of your conversation on the other side, “off.”
“I’m right aren’t I?” Jeonghan is nearly shrieking with glee.
“Sorry, gotta go,” you say.
“Oh no, no, no,” Jeonghan tries.
You’re stepping aside to let Joshua into your apartment. “I’ll see you tomorrow for brunch.”
“Let me know if I need to add one more to the reservation,” Jeonghan says.
“Goodbye,” you say with an eye roll Jeonghan can’t see, but will surely hear. You hang up as soon as he also says goodbye.
“Jeonghan?” Joshua guesses.
“Unfortunately,” you confirm.
“I hope I wasn’t interrupting,” Joshua says. It’s nothing like when someone says it out of forced courtesy. He actually seems like he’s making sure he’s not intruding.
“No, not at all, I just wasn’t expecting you,” you admit.
“Sometimes that’s the best time to come over,” Joshua says with a shrug.
“Does that mean you have a plan?” you wonder.
“Yup,” Joshua says.
“Gonna tell me what it is?” you ask.
“Nope,” he says with a concerning smile, popping the end of nope. “Go put on something comfortable but with layers. And we’re not going hiking or anything like that.”
An hour later, you’re pulling off the road in an area you’ve never been to, even with as long as you’ve lived here. The views are instantly enough to take your breath away. You can see the whole city below you, all the bustle of traffic and skyscrapers. Somewhere, you know there are people rushing to and fro, too busy to stop and appreciate what’s around them. Straight ahead, you can see the way the low clouds glide around, splitting around the very tops of the buildings. It’s beautiful and it also makes you realize just how small you are.
While you’ve been appreciating the views in front of you, Joshua has been gathering his supplies from the trunk. By the time you turn around, he’s laying a blanket and basket down on the ground in front of the car.
“Is this…did you set up a picnic?” you ask.
“I wanted to show you this place and figured some food might be nice,” he says with an easy smile.
“That’s so sweet,” you say earnestly.
You settle on the blanket next to him and look through the food he’s pulling out. There are some of your favorite things and some things you’re not even sure you’ve seen before. Somehow, though, you feel like they might become some of your new favorites. He even brought plates and he sets about putting one together for you to pick at.
Joshua tells you about how this is his favorite place and he found it completely by accident. He loves being down in the city and around all the people, but there’s something nice about seeing things from this perspective too. It’s like he can just disconnect for a while. Turn off his phone. Read or listen to music. Just be totally alone. It’s how he works through a problem or gets the perspective he needs.
“I can’t believe you’re sharing it with me,” you admit and his eyes light up with his smile.
“I just thought, after last night, you might appreciate having a place to get away from it all,” Joshua says.
You want to say something, anything, really, to acknowledge what Joshua just said. Try to say something. Your throat doesn’t want to cooperate, it seems. Your brain, either. In fact, all you can manage to do is turn away to hide the tears. Joshua is observant, though. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you into his chest and runs his hand along your back. He quietly soothes you as you cry out a lot of emotions you didn’t even realize you were experiencing.
And something about him comforting you, this near stranger who doesn’t actually owe you anything, sets you off more. In the early days of your relationship with Johnny, you know it was good. It must have been. Surely, it was more than a relationship between two people who had known each other for years with families that were intertwined. You don’t remember it anymore. Don’t remember him ever holding you like this without even knowing what was wrong. Don’t remember him taking you on a date like this just because he thought you would enjoy it. Since you haven’t seriously dated anyone since the break-up, he also feels like your only frame of reference. That makes you sad for an entirely different reason. Who loses it over someone just being a little kind?
“I’m so sorry,” you finally say when you manage to pull yourself together.
“For what?” he asks.
“For just crying like that and being such a mess,” you say.
Joshua shakes his head. Moves his hand up to your face and waits for confirmation that it’s okay. When you nod, he gently wipes the tears from under your eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for. What you’re going through with your ex, most of us could never even imagine that kind of pain.”
“But still, you barely know me and here you are trying to be kind and all I can do is cry,” you say.
“First of all, I think last night and the food I put together show I’ve actually learned a lot about you in a short time,” he says and you have to laugh at that. He’s right. “Second, I’m just happy you feel safe enough with me to cry. It’s not healthy to hold all that in. You’re not in this alone.”
That brings you up short more than anything. He’s right, again (an annoying habit, if you’re being honest). You don’t feel any hesitation around him. Nothing to stop you from crying if you feel like crying. That’s unusual, to say the least. Normally, you’ll do anything to avoid anyone seeing you emotional. But, this man you just met is different. He’s safe. You’re not sure how or why, but you know you can trust him.
“Are you free tomorrow for brunch?” you ask. Joshua gives you a quizzical look for a moment at the sudden topic change.
“Yeah, why?” he asks.
“I just need to send one quick text and then I want to do what you said you normally do here. Disconnect from the world and just appreciate the afternoon,” you say and find yourself smiling along with his smile. He really is so beautiful.
You: add one to the reservation for brunch tomorrow and i’ll call you tonight when i’m home
You switch your phone into Do Not Disturb before the response comes and turn all your attention back to Joshua.
Over the next couple weeks, Joshua slips seamlessly into your life and your existing friendships. Some of them, like those closest to you that come along to the Sunday brunches, know the whole story. It’s not like they would believe you had kept a relationship secret for that long, anyway. And it’s good to have a few extra sets of eyes and ears helping to sell the story. Other friends get the same story that your family and Johnny got. It’s not that you don’t trust them, you do. It’s more important to keep the circle of people who know the real story as small as possible, though, so that it actually succeeds. All your friends adore him from the second they meet him. The only surprise is how well Jeonghan seems to be adjusting to sharing your time. He wants to give you a hard time, yet he doesn’t.
You meet all Joshua’s friends and coworkers, too. It feels way easier than it should the first time you join him and his coworkers after work for drinks. They spend most of the time giving Joshua a hard time that he’s kept you to himself for so long. It’s easy to fall into step and you find that you do know him a lot better than you think. So, it’s just as easy for you to jump in when they’re giving him a hard time. He pretends to be annoyed, but you can tell by the way he smiles that he likes it. It’s one of those genuine smiles that makes his eyes bigger and brighter. Everything just feels…easy. Like this whole thing wasn’t actually a bad idea after all.
Your favorite part might be the first time you got with him to an Open Mic Night and get to see him play. He’s got that easy kind of confidence on the guitar. Like he knows he’s talented, but not in a cocky way. It’s his singing that catches you off guard. His voice moves over the notes with an ease that makes you wonder why this isn’t something he’s doing for a living. He’s got this way of pulling you into songs that you don’t even know. And he’s so kind with the people that show up just to see him play. They all seem just as happy to meet you and know that he’s happy.
There’s only been one part that’s been difficult. Not difficult, exactly, but not as comfortable as some of the other things. While you and Joshua talked through anything and everything to prepare to start a fake relationship, you covered comfort levels with physical affection. You both say you’re comfortable with physical touch, though he seems to seek it out more than you do. That includes at least some level of PDA as a couple. You’ve never really been one to just randomly make out with a partner in public, but you’ve never been shy about expressing affection either. It was fine, when it was all theoretical.
In actual practice, it’s been a little more difficult. The first time Joshua had pressed a kiss to the side of your head while you were out with people that didn’t know it was fake caught you off guard. It shouldn’t have, he asked before doing it and you confirmed it was fine. What you hadn’t been entirely prepared for was how it would feel when he did it. Or how it would feel that he was so casual about it, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it wasn’t making you rethink everything in your life.
Tonight, you’re hanging out with friends at Hyejin’s house. You and her have been friends since before you even started school. So, she knows what’s really going on with Joshua. Your other friends there, though, are mostly not in on it. Which is fine. You’re shockingly comfortable with the song and dance.
It’s not actually fine.
It starts the same as any other time you’ve been out somewhere with him. You’re sitting close together on the couch, thighs pressed together, with his arm behind you along the back of the couch. Periodically, his fingers play with the sleeve of your shirt. It’s an absentminded habit and you’re used to it. He’s usually keeping some sort of contact with you in a very subtle way. You learned right away that he did like physical touch, but it was rarely something obvious. One drink in and his affection got a little more obvious. Arm wrapped firmly around you. More kisses pressed to the side of your head.
Two drinks in and it changes again. He removes his arm from around you in favor of holding your hand. Playing with your fingers while he’s having other conversations, like he doesn’t even realize. Hand squeezing your thigh. Or tracing patterns into the material of your pants. Head dropping down on your shoulder when he’s not talking to someone else. And it’s definitely not fine. You’re nursing your drink, but even if you weren’t, his constant presence would sober you. Since you’ve just finally finished your first, you think maybe a second is a good idea.
It’s not. Joshua gets another drink, his third, and you decline. Instead, you stick with the water you’ve been drinking since you couldn’t even finish your second. You want to be able to respond, whatever happens. Respond to whatever new form of affection unlocks with this next drink.
“I hope you stick around, you’re my favorite of the partners that we’ve met,” Mimi announces to Joshua when he plops back down next to you.
You’re glad that you hadn’t taken a sip because it would’ve come out immediately. Mimi has been a friend for a long time as well, and you love her, but she doesn’t know the truth.
“Don’t I know it,” Joshua agrees, earning a lot of laughter.
“Have you met Johnny yet? I know you’re going to the wedding,” Taehyung wonders.
“Yeah Johnny showed up magically the night I brought him by to meet my parents, sister, and brother-in-law,” you say, regaining some composure.
“I think you traded up,” Joshua says, eyes laser focused on you.
You’re not so lucky this time and you just took a sip. You nearly choke. “Do you?”
“Definitely,” Joshua insists.
“I agree,” Jimin says and Mimi elbows him in the side. “What?”
“You’re going to the wedding,” she says.
“So? He’s a fucking tool,” Jimin shrugs off.
“Are you all going, then?” Joshua asks.
“A good portion of us, yeah,” Hyejin says. “Family connections, you know?”
“I wasn’t invited,” Mimi pouts.
“Want to come?” Taehyung asks and Mimi laughs.
“Tae, my love, you can’t just invite people,” Mimi says and shakes her head.
“I have a plus-one,” Taehyung says with a shrug. “I think we all knew I wouldn’t make it to the wedding in my relationship. But, Johnny still thinks I’m bringing someone.”
“Damn, okay. I’m in,” Mimi says.
“I’m not going either, my family ties weren’t enough to get an invite,” Jeonghan says without any sorrow in his eyes.
“That’s because of what you said to him after the break up,” Hyejin interrupts with a laugh.
“I don’t remember saying anything that bad,” Jeonghan shrugs, and examines his finger nails to show how little he cares.
“Remind me to show you what he said some time, it was fucking gold,” Hyejin says to Joshua.
“Do you have it saved?” you ask.
“I should have it framed, honestly,” Hyejin says. “Get you a best friend like Jeonghan, for real, for real.”
“Hey, that’s my best friend, get your own,” you joke.
“That’s a shame you won’t be there though, Han, I could’ve used the familiar face,” Joshua says.
“Like you’re going to be paying attention to anyone but your date,” Hyejin teases.
“Can you blame me? I still can’t believe how lucky I got,” Joshua says without any hint that he’s pretending. It makes your heart skip a couple beats as you try to catch your breath.
“Ugh, I’m so single,” Mimi whines.
“Maybe not after the wedding,” Hyejin teases.
The conversations devolve from there into separate, smaller chats. Joshua is back to tracing patterns into your leg. Without warning, he pops his head up and places a quick peck on your lips before dropping his head onto your shoulder again. He’s so nonchalant about it that you’re not really sure it even happened. You’ve kissed a couple times like that, quick pecks in public. But, it’s always been when you’ve talked about it. It isn’t until you look up to meet Jeonghan’s eyes that you know it all really happened.
Joshua, unaware that he’s just turned your world a little upside down, moves his head to look at you again. “You’re beautiful, you know.”
It’s barely a whisper and you know he’s not drunk. He’s not sober either, though. And you’ve had drinks around each other before. He’s just never been quite so glued to your side or free with the compliments. You’re also not usually so singularly focused on him. A fact that doesn’t go entirely unnoticed.
“Thank you,” you whisper back.
“I’m kinda hungry,” he continues in a bit of a whine.
“Well you were the one who thought skipping dinner was smart,” you tease him.
“But my little honeybunch,” he teases back. You snort and miss the way several of your friends watch the interaction because they know how you are about weird pet names.
“Try again, sweetheart,” you answer.
“Sweetheart, I like the way that sounds,” he says, distracted.
“Just a little longer and we can leave and get something to eat,” you say and he sighs.
“Fine,” he concedes and kisses your cheek, just barely a whisper away from the corner of your mouth.
About half an hour later, you say your goodbyes. Despite your suggestions, Joshua continued drinking instead of switching to water. It’s as fine as it can be, though. He’s just an affectionate drinker. He wraps an arm around you, slipping a hand into your back pocket so that he can whisper thanks again. You do your best to shrug it off and let him drape his arms around your shoulder instead.
The car ride is quiet, initially. You pick a playlist that he made for you after you first met. Something he seems to enjoy. You’re nearly back at his place when he says that he doesn’t have anything to eat. But, luckily, there’s a place around the corner that he loves that’s still open. He manages to place an order on the app, gets something for you as well, and pays before getting there. All you have to do is walk in.
“I hope you’ll come in and eat with me,” he says when you get back into the car.
You’re not really sure how to tell him that you don’t want to. Not because you don’t want to spend time with him. Or that you don’t appreciate him ordering something he knows you’ll like. No, it’s so much deeper than that. It’s that you don’t know if your heart can handle it. You’ve got a couple more weeks of this and your heart is taking a beating. All of this is fake. It’ll be over after the wedding. But, the compliments don’t feel fake. The kisses don’t feel fake. The affection doesn’t feel fake. Your heart racing is real, oh so real. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re in way too deep.
None of that comes out, though.
“Sure, sweetheart,” you say and hold your breath for a second. You hadn’t meant to say that when it was just you.
Joshua smiles over at you. “Really do like that.”
Does he know what he’s doing to you? Can he hear your heart hammering in your chest? Can he hear your breath catch? Does he know how insanely beautiful he is? Or that he’s all the more beautiful because he’s so unfailingly kind?
Probably not, because he gets distracted and starts singing along as the song changes. It’s welcome, but also a little devastating. His voice cuts through you in a way you’re still very unprepared to handle.
After another few minutes, you’re at Joshua’s place. He springs back into action and tries to open your door for you, even though you’re the driver. He settles for taking hold of your hand as he walks to his door, only reluctantly dropping it when he gets to the door.
His apartment is familiar to you, it has to be for this to be believable. So, he sets the food out and you grab plates. You grab a couple waters from the fridge while he takes the food over to the couch, bypassing the table. You sit next to him, leaving enough space between you that you’re not touching. Hoping he doesn’t think anything of it.
It’s useless, apparently, because he slides over to press into your side.
What’s worse (not that you thought that was possible) is that he picks things off of your plate and gives you food off his plate. Tries to feed it to you, actually, and pouts when you don’t let him. It takes everything in you not to beg him to be gentle on your heart. He doesn’t even seem to realize what he’s doing to you as he smiles and jokes. Doesn’t seem to think twice about playing with your hands or his hand on your leg or any of the things he usually does when you have an audience. There’s nobody here to see and he’s not usually this touchy when you’re alone. Maybe it’s the drinks.
“I like your friends a lot, you know,” he says out of nowhere.
“They like you, too,” you assure him.
“What about you?” he asks.
“I’d assume they like me as well,” you laugh out.
“No, I meant me. Do you like me?” he asks, eyes big and vulnerable.
Please, Joshua, I’m begging you. Be gentle with me, you think so loud you’re worried he might hear.
“I’m actually a little sick of you,” you joke.
“But, but,” he begins and dramatically throws himself in your lap.
“You’re the worst,” you say without any bite. Your hands find their way into his hair, softly running through the strands.
“That feels nice,” he says softly. “Can I just stay like this? I’m tired.”
“Of course,” you whisper.
“You’ll stay with me?” he asks, sounding like he’s about to drift off.
You’re sure he won’t remember any of this. Not because he’s drunk, but he’s on the edges of sleep. So, you answer in a whisper. “Always.”
Maybe he’s not the one that needs to be careful with your heart. Maybe it’s you that needs to be careful. You know that you could walk away. That you could just remind him that this is all fake and there’s nobody around to see now. That’s not what you do. So, maybe you’re just as much to blame.
Sunday
Joshua: thanks for taking care of me last night
Joshua: idk why the drinks hit me so hard
Joshua: when did you leave?
Monday
Joshua: is everything okay? Did i say something stupid?
Tuesday
Joshua: i don’t wanna sound clingy but are we still getting together at your place after work?
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know that you need to respond. You know that what you’re doing isn’t fair to anyone. It’s not like Joshua can somehow read your mind to realize you’re spiraling. It just feels a little paralyzing. This is a weird limbo of knowing you might be in over your head, but still believing this is all fake.
Jeonghan: hey dummy i know you’re ignoring joshua so i’m coming over tonight
Jeonghan: i told him you’ve been busy at work and i haven’t heard from you either but we have some talking to do
Leave it to Jeonghan. You had almost forgotten, with how well you’ve gotten to know Joshua, that it was Jeonghan who introduced you in the first place. Of course he would text your best friend when he couldn’t get a hold of you. Does that make you feel better? Not really, you think, because it feels like a real relationship in a way. Oh well, you can talk about it with Jeonghan. If he shows up, that is.
And he does, less than an hour later.
“I’m here,” he announces when he comes in the door.
“Thanks for knocking and giving me the chance to pretend I’m not here,” you call back.
“Your car is outside and you have your location turned on,” Jeonghan says.
“Right,” you answer as he comes through the hall holding a bag from your favorite take out place.
“At least I come bearing gifts,” he says.
“You’re an angel, do you know that?” you ask and reach for the bag.
Jeonghan snorts. “I’m gonna remind you of that the next time you call me a demon.”
“Well, Lucifer was a fallen angel,” you reason with a shrug.
“I hate you,” he says.
“I know,” you answer.
Jeonghan busies himself with taking out the food and making sure you have napkins. Tells you what he wants to drink when you get up to go into the kitchen. Calls for you to grab some utensils as well. By the time you sit back down with him, he’s flipping through a streaming service trying to find something to watch. It’s not at all what you’re expecting and you just let it happen. The two of you have been friends long enough to know you should just let things play out.
With some mindless show on in the background, Jeonghan talks about work and your friends and everything else that’s been going on the past few days. Like it’s been weeks since you last saw him. Mostly, he talks about how Taehyung has been blowing up his phone asking for advice about Mimi, which is actually news to you. Sure, you saw him ask her if she wanted to go with him to the wedding. What you had not expected was for him to actually be interested. Which he is, if his messages to Jeonghan are anything to go by. It’s been everything from advice about talking to her to what kinds of things she might like as a surprise. They would probably be cute, you think.
“Yeah, well, sometimes feelings catch us off guard,” Jeonghan says when you admit your surprise.
Damn. Did you really walk right into that?
“True,” you admit, knowing that’s the best answer you can give.
“Talk to me,” Jeonghan urges.
“About what?” you ask to buy more time.
“Joshua,” he says.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you state. That makes him fix you with a look.
“Clearly there is or you wouldn’t be ignoring him,” he says.
“We’re not really dating so I don’t owe him constant updates. I’m not ignoring him. I just have other shit to do,” you say without looking at him.
“Would you like to be?” he asks. That does make you turn to him.
“Like to be what?” you ask, though you think you know.
“Really dating him,” Jeonghan says.
It’s a crossroads kind of moment. You could say that you don’t want that. That would be a lie, though, and Jeonghan doesn’t like it when you lie. Can always tell the second you say something that’s not true. The truth is that you’ve spent nearly every moment since that stupid night at Hyejin’s place thinking about what you actually feel for your fake boyfriend.
“I don’t…know,” you say slowly and earn a smile because it’s not a lie.
“I was there the other night too, I saw the way it all played out,” he says.
“I mean, does it matter? This is all fake and soon, it’ll be over,” you say.
“Of course it matters and it’ll be over soon? Please,” Jeonghan scoffs. “I know he’s told you that he wants to keep you in his life after Johnny’s wedding. So, what? You’re just gonna be like okay, that was fun, let’s never talk again?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” you say quietly.
He rolls his eyes. “Try again, buttercup.”
“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t like me like that, he’s just nice,” you say, avoidant as ever.
“He looks at you like he’d give you the moon if you asked for it,” Jeonghan snorts out.
“He’s just nice, Han,” you disagree.
“Maybe,” your closest friend concedes, a rare move for him. It feels weird all the same. “Whatever it is, text him back. He misses you and I don’t want to hear anymore about how he’s worrying he upset you.”
“He’s been worrying that he upset me?” you ask. Your heart constricts at that.
“Yeah, for some reason he actually likes your company,” he says. “Can’t relate.”
You smack Jeonghan on the arm. “Says the man who shows up at my place unannounced when I ignore him for a day.”
“No, I was just bored,” he argued. “And you’re way too stubborn to sort out your shit on your own.”
“I’m not stubborn, but fine, I’ll text him,” you relent.
“Now,” he says.
“What?”
“Text him now so that I know you actually did it.”
You roll your eyes at him, but pull your phone out anyway. Angling it away from Jeonghan so that he can’t see your screen. He’s such a nosy brat sometimes.
You: hey, i’m sorry. It’s been really busy and i had a lot on my mind
You: wanna do something tomorrow?
The response comes right away and you ignore the smug look on Jeonghan’s face as you quickly make plans. If Jeonghan was anyone else, he would probably just let you be since he ultimately got what he wanted. But, he’s not anyone else. And he’s as caring to his friends as he is calculating when he wants something. So, he’s not doing it to be cruel, not at all. He just wants you to consider what you’re actually feeling.
You’ll never tell Jeonghan how much you appreciate him talking everything through with you. Never tell him how good it feels to get all the thoughts out of your head. To his credit, he’s not smug and he doesn’t tell you that he’s been right about your feelings all along. He just listens, supports you when you need it, and encourages you to keep thinking through everything that’s going on.
As a make-up for slightly ignoring Joshua (over your own internal freak out), you take him to dinner at your favorite restaurant. It’s this tiny little hole-in-the-wall that people seem to walk past. The kind of place where you couldn’t overspend even if you tried because the couple that owned it just wanted to share good food. The kind of place where they know everyone by name. It makes you feel instantly at ease.
Joshua doesn’t say it, but he also kind of can’t believe you wanted to show him some place that meant so much to you. All he could do was watch, with so much fondness, as you spoke to the couple about everything under the sun. Watch as you turned slightly red when they scolded you for taking so long to bring Joshua by. Smile as you promised the both of you would be back. Despite trying to pay, you beat him to it. Even leaving a massive tip because you insisted the couple had undercharged you. They made a big show of not wanting to take the tip and you only reminded them the cash would stay sitting on the counter. You weren’t taking it back either.
You don’t really think about it when you take a picture of you and Joshua to upload on Instagram. At least, you try not to. Later, when you’re home and winding down for the night, you pull the picture back up. It’s amazing just how happy both of you look. You don’t need to read the comments to know that you’ve never looked so happy in your life. Every part of you wants to pull back again. It’s overwhelming. But, Jeonghan’s voice plays in your head and instead you push past. Make more plans that could break your heart. You have to just trust that he won’t.
It isn’t until the weekend that you’re able to see him again because your schedules didn’t quite match up. That doesn’t stop him from calling you at night, though. Insisting that he wants to know how your day was, even if you can only spare a few minutes for a call. (Which never ends up being the case. You fall asleep on the phone with him twice. His voice is just so soothing when it’s all deep and soft.)
Again, Joshua tells you the date is a surprise. He can be a little bit of a demon, when it suits him. Sure, he likes to pretend he’s not. That he’s above the chaos. Then, he does something like this and he can’t really escape it. But, he’s so sure he knows what you like that he’s positive you’ll enjoy the date. You remember how that chat had gone, too. You were ready to go to sleep, but unable to say goodnight.
(“I have our next date planned,” Joshua says, voice soft to match the calm of the night.
“What is it?” you wonder.
“A surprise,” he answers.
“What if I don’t like it?” you ask back.
“You will,” he assures you.
“You sure seem to think you know me,” you joke.
“Yeah, I do. Don’t worry, you’ll like this too,” he says.
There was no point in denying it. That confidence sent a bit of a shiver through you.)
It turns out that the date is at a winery where you’re painting with wine. You have to ask him to say it again because you’ve only ever heard of wine and paint classes. Painting with wine is entirely new to you. It sounds fun, though, and you know how crafty Joshua can be, have seen all the projects around his apartment. So, even though you’re definitely not that artistic, you’re excited to see this as well.
Admittedly, by the end of the session, your painting isn’t bad. It was a bit weird to use wine in that way, but they let you drink as well. Which makes it a lot easier to just go along with the idea of painting. Joshua’s painting, on the other hand, is beautiful. Not for the first time, you think his talents might be wasted at an office job. You’ve seen the bracelets he makes and now you’ve seen him paint. You’ve heard him sing and play the guitar. He’s impossibly artistic in a way that should make you jealous. Instead, it just makes you more endeared to him.
You snap a picture of him and his art when he’s not looking and upload it before he can even realize it. It’s only when a notification goes off on his phone that he realizes. He doesn’t even say anything, just gets a sparkle in his eyes that makes you weary immediately. He’s busy tapping away on his own phone before a notification sounds on yours. Maybe you weren’t the only one to steal a candid shot if the picture of you laughing with a glass of wine in one hand and a paintbrush in the other is anything to go by. It’s the caption that really ruins you, though. Just a simple “think I’m addicted to her light”. It’s so simple and also so much sweeter than yours. You fight through the urge to run away.
Which lasts until you get home from dinner. It was the perfect date, truly. Joshua always seems to know exactly how to plan out a day so everything works. After sipping wine and painting, he took you to one of his favorite restaurants. Nothing too pretentious, just kind of unassuming. The kind of place where you get good food and even better conversation. It’s (mostly) easy to keep your mind off the way your heart keeps racing.
When you’re back home, you’re not so lucky.
Back home, alone in your apartment, there aren’t any distractions. Nothing to stop your mind from all the ways that it can sabotage your own happiness. Nothing to stop you from thinking about how nobody, not even Johnny, has ever planned out such thoughtful dates for you. Nobody has ever taken the time to really know you like Joshua. Even if you won’t admit it, he knows you better than anyone you’ve ever dated. Which is terrifying, since this is all fake. And he hasn’t even known you that long.
So, you do the rational thing and you pull back again. Answer his texts so that he doesn’t send Jeonghan over to figure out what’s wrong, but don’t make solid plans. Talk a lot about a work project that you really need to get done ahead of schedule so that you’re not stressing leading up to the wedding. And you throw in some easy suggestions in the meantime so that it still seems like you’re making an effort.
Lunch on a work day so that it has a set ending time. Which still tugs at your heartstrings a bit because he takes a longer lunch just to meet you closer to where you work.
An event where your parents purchased a table for charity because he’s in high demand with your family around. And he can’t be as affectionate.
His Open Mic Nights, but with the excuse that you can’t stay too late because of your project and he should stick around with his friends. You’ll get home safely.
Small little things that keep you around him and keep up your conversations while still giving you time to breathe. You’re sure that you’re pulling it all off. And then, the wedding is around the corner. The finish line is in sight.
You: I’m not going to the wedding
You: you don’t have to come pick me up
Joshua: what are you talking about?
You: i’m not going
Joshua: but it’s literally in a few hours?
You: yeah and i don’t wanna go, so you’re off the hook
You: thanks for everything, but you don’t have to pretend anymore
Even if you know you’re being a little petulant, you don’t really care. This whole thing was supposed to be about protecting your heart. Protecting your pride. Not showing up to your cheating ex-fiance's wedding alone and looking like some kind of loser. It was not supposed to be about your heart getting clobbered anyway. So, you’re doing the only logical thing you can think of. Ignoring your problems. Avoiding both the wedding and Joshua. What you’re not prepared for, though you should be, is the knock that comes at your door half an hour later.
Joshua is on the other side of the door and your heart actually stops. He’s got his tux on and his hair styled back off his face. His eyes are soft as they take you in, noting that you have your hair and make up done. Though, you’re still in your sweats. You got at least that far before you decided this was a stupid fucking decision.
“Can I come in?” he asks when you don’t say anything.
“Sure,” you say and step aside.
“You look like you’re getting ready,” he comments once he’s inside.
“I was, until I texted you,” you answer. “Speaking of, why are you here?”
“Because we had plans,” he says.
“Yeah to go see my ex-fiance marry the girl he cheated on me with. Oh, and for you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I didn’t look pathetic,” you say with a huff.
“You’re not pathetic. He’s an asshole,” Joshua says. He doesn’t swear often, so it catches you a little off guard.
“Well, whatever, you don’t have to go. So, I’m not really sure why you’re here,” you say.
“You’re being so cold. What’s going on?” Joshua asks and reaches out to you. Instead, you duck away from his touch.
“Nothing is going on. It was stupid to care what Johnny thought or to try and save face somehow,” you say.
“It’s not stupid. He hurt you and you didn’t deserve that,” Joshua urges.
“You really don’t know me that well. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was awful to him and he had no choice,” you say.
“We both know that’s not true,” he says.
“Do we?” you challenge.
“Yes, we do,” he presses. “There is nothing you could do that justifies cheating instead of just breaking it off. But, I also know you didn’t do anything wrong. Jeonghan and I talked about it.”
“You spoke to Jeonghan about my relationship behind my back?” you question.
“What is going on? We’ve been hanging out for weeks and getting to know each other. I just wanted to know more about someone I was going to be helping. And I like knowing you,” Joshua says and you have to look away. You don’t need the reminder of how much time you’ve spent with him.
“Yeah, sorry about all that time we wasted. I’ll pay you back for the tux or anything else you had to buy to pretend to date me,” you say and he looks genuinely confused.
“I don’t…want you to pay me back for anything. It wasn’t a waste of time. I did this because I wanted to,” he says.
“Yeah, well, you don’t have to pretend anymore because I’m not going to the stupid fucking wedding. It was a really bad idea in the first place,” you say.
Joshua clenches his jaw and looks away. Like maybe he’s frustrated. “What is going on? Do you still have feelings for him?”
“For who? Johnny?” you ask, so insanely caught off guard that you forget you’re mad.
“Yes,” Joshua says tightly.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you bark out.
“Well? You’re being really weird and now you don’t want to go to a wedding that we’ve been planning on,” he starts.
“Yeah, which should make you happy, since you don’t have to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore,” you say.
“Because you’re still in love with Johnny,” Joshua finishes like he hadn’t even heard you.
“Oh my god,” you nearly scream. “I’m not fucking in love with Johnny. This isn’t about him.”
“So, you don’t want to go to the wedding and it has nothing to do with him? That doesn’t make any sense,” he says.
“No, I don’t want to keep doing this,” you say, gesturing between the two of you. “I don’t want to keep pretending to date you when I -”
You clamp your mouth shut. Unable to believe that you almost blurted out how you feel.
“When you what?” he challenges. “What? Is it that bad being around me? Is that it? Are you just sick of me? Ready to toss me aside?”
You laugh bitterly, not even able to appreciate the irony in the situation. “No, Joshua, I don’t want to toss you aside.”
“Then, what? What am I supposed to think when you’ve been pushing me away for the last couple weeks? And I have to act like I haven’t noticed all the ways you’ve kept me at arm’s length since we went to the winery. Why did you just decide, literally today, that you don’t want to go to the wedding after all?” he asks, rambling. He’s pacing in front of you. “Why are you trying so hard to get rid of me?”
“Because I don’t want to get hurt!” you blurt out. “Because I don’t want to go to my fucking scumbag of an ex’s wedding where everyone is going to be giving me these looks of pity or focusing on my relationship with him when all I want is this.”
“This? What?” he asks, coming to a stop.
“This, Joshua, you and me. Having this just all be pretend is breaking my heart. I can’t keep doing it. It was supposed to keep me from getting my heart broken. It sucks and I hate it and I just wish it wasn’t pretend. I don’t want to go to the wedding and have you be so sweet and kind and caring when I’m going to know it has an expiration date. That it’s all just been for show,” you admit. You turn away, clutching your arms around your center because you’re so tired. And so exposed. So vulnerable. It’s awful.
The tears won’t stop, so you don’t notice how Joshua has closed the space between you until he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulls you back against his chest and presses a kiss into your hair.
“So, let’s stop saying it’s pretend,” he whispers.
“What?” you whisper back.
He turns you in his arms so that you’re facing him and gently brushes away the tears. “Let’s stop saying it’s fake. It doesn’t feel fake, does it?”
“No,” is all you can manage.
“So, it’s not fake and we’re not pretending,” he says.
“But,” you start to protest.
“I knew I was in trouble, really deep trouble, as soon as we left your parents’ house. I was just waiting for you to catch up,” he says as he gently runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe away a tear . Your eyes go wide.
“That was barely a week in,” you say and he just shrugs. “And I’d dumped all my bullshit on you.”
“I think that’s actually what made me like you so much,” he says. “It was supposed to be fake and we were trying to get to know each other well enough to pull it off. But, instead, I just realized you were actually perfect.”
“Perfect? I was broken,” you joke and he shakes his head.
“No, you’ve been hurt. Who hasn’t? You’re also strong, kind, funny, a fiercely loyal friend, and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, inside and out,” he says.
“That’s so, you’re so sweet,” you say and try to hide your face. He doesn’t let you. “You like me?”
“I’ve liked you the whole time. I did think it was a date, after all,” he says. “And do you think I’m that affectionate with everyone?”
“We were pretending,” you argue.
“I wasn’t,” he argues back.
“Our closest friends thought you were,” you disagree.
“And was anyone else there in my apartment when I was still being affectionate?” he asks.
“Well, no, but…” you start.
“I heard you say always,” he tells you.
“You did?” you ask, sure that it’s been your secret this whole time.
“We don’t have to go to the wedding. But, if it’s just because you don’t want this to be over with me, then it’s not going to be over. I’m yours for as long as you want me,” he says so earnestly it nearly makes you blush.
“Careful, you might get sick of me,” you joke.
He puts a finger under your chin so he can look you in the eyes. “I’ll say it again. I’m yours as long as you want me. I won’t get sick of you.”
“I…” you start and don’t know where to go. So you do the only thing you can think of and kiss him. It’s clear he’s a little caught off guard, but he recovers quickly. His arms wrap around you to hold you tight against him. It’s the first time you’ve really kissed him and you’re so screwed because he really is perfect at this too.
“So, do I get you for the rest of today?” he asks.
You take in his tuxedo again, for real this time. Appreciating how well it’s tailored and how amazing he looks. With a sigh, you say, “you know, it’s a shame to waste such a nice tux.”
“Are you…I thought we weren’t going,” he stutters.
“I’m probably gonna have to fix my makeup in the car, but why not? I want to show off my super hot and very real boyfriend,” you say and watch him choke on air.
“You can’t just say…” he starts.
“Damn, sick of me already?” you tease.
“You know I’m not,” he answers and moves to follow you.
“No, no. You don’t get to see me changing. I’ll be back out in a second,” you say.
You’re in the middle of shimmying into your dress when you realize that you do still have a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out. This whole situation has been unusual, though, so it probably makes sense that there isn’t a template. Once you have your shoes on, you walk back into the living room, prepared to say something, only to find Joshua speechless.
“You look…” he starts.
“You’ve seen the dress already,” you say and smile.
“Not on you. Not in person. You look amazing,” he says and crosses to pull you into his arms. “Are you sure we have to go?”
“Yes,” you say and swat him. “But, I do know we have a lot to talk about.”
“I’m not in a rush,” he says and allows you to step away.
“We might need to be in a bit of a rush,” you say, checking the time and gathering all your things.
“Let’s go, then,” Joshua says and offers his arm.
The wedding passes in kind of a blur. In truth, you barely even register Johnny or what he’s doing beyond the actual ceremony. The reception is so massive that it’s easiest just to focus on the people around you. Especially when you’re at a table with your friends. Thankfully, you’re not at a table with your parents or your sister. It does mean, though, that you’re sitting next to Hyejin, who has definitely realized that something shifted between you and Joshua. So, she’s trying to sneak in a question any time she can. Which is hard, given that Joshua is more attached to you than ever. And Hyejin doesn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to you. All you manage to let her know is that it’s real now and that you’ll fill her in after the wedding. (You’re also thankful that people seem to be cooing over Taehyung and Mimi since they’re the shiny new topic.)
It’s also nice to have Joshua there because he’s a built in way to excuse yourself from any conversation that you don’t want to be part of. It’s easy to just say you’re going to go back to the table. Or, in the case of a good song coming on, he’ll be quick to drag you to the dance floor and away from whatever conversation you’re stuck in. He’s a good dancer, too. You don’t miss the way Hyejin catches your eye when the first slow song comes on and he pulls you close to him. But, that’s a conversation for another day. All you wanted was to appreciate the way his hand felt on your lower back or your hand felt in his.
When it was finally time to leave, Joshua led you out of the event, arm around you to guide you. Neither of you were drunk, but you had still hired someone to take you to and from the wedding anyway. A gift from your parents to appreciate you “doing the right thing” and coming to the wedding. For the sake of the families. It made you roll your eyes at the time, yet you’re thankful now. It would be far better than having to take an Uber or trying to get a room at the hotel (and risking seeing everyone else staying there the next morning). The ride home also gave you the chance to talk. Really talk. Neither of you cared much that someone else was driving (and he had the partition up, anyway), as you talked about your feelings honestly for the first time.
As it turned out, you had a lot to say. Both of you. You hadn’t been nearly as good at hiding your feelings from Joshua as you had been at hiding them from yourself. He had hoped you were going to admit them to him after that night at his apartment. Instead, you avoided him. Yes, he knew that you had been avoiding him. You also weren’t very good at picking up on the signs he dropped about his feelings for you. He admitted that he could have just said something, but he was trying to be subtle so he didn’t scare you off. Trying to let his actions speak through more affection. You admit you were scared to think it was anything more than it actually was. Scared of your feelings. Scared of getting hurt again. Joshua completely understands that and admits that he’s a little scared, too, because you’re definitely more important to him than he was anticipating. He’s also confident that you can work through it together. It gives you a feeling of hope. Makes everything about you feel lighter. You see that relief reflected in Joshua’s eyes when they scan yours.
The car pulls to a stop and he gets out first. He holds his hand out to help you out of the car. You’re not really sure what comes over you.
“Come up with me,” you ask, but it’s more of a statement.
He hesitates, conflicted. “I don’t know if I should.”
“Why?” you ask, clearly confused.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave,” he answers and you smile.
“Then stay,” you shrug, “at least for breakfast.”
Without waiting for him to respond, you turn and head for the front door of the building. It means you miss the way he freezes in place, but you can guess at that by how long it takes before he catches up to you. He’s unusually quiet and still beside you as you go up the elevator and then behind you as you unlock the door.
“I’m gonna go change,” you announce after you drop your keys by the door. You look back at Joshua, appreciating him in the tuxedo one last time. “I’ve got some clothes in the spare room that should fit. They’re Jeonghan’s ”
You take the opportunity to breathe for a second, to let it settle in that you asked Joshua to come in with you and stay the night. Then, you set about changing out of your dress. Carefully clean your face free of the make-up. Brush through your hair and twist it back off of your face. Once you’re in comfy clothes and bare faced, you head back out into the living room. It’s odd that you don’t even feel self-conscious about Joshua seeing you like this, you’re instantly comfortable.
Joshua’s back is to you in the kitchen. When he turns around, you see that he’s put together a little platter of snacks. You also were right, the t-shirt and shorts he picked out seem to fit him well. Jeonghan is a little slighter than Joshua, but he wears most of his clothes on the baggier side.
“Thanks for the clothes,” he says when you both meet on the couch. “I was worried when you said you had spare clothes they were gonna be from an ex or Johnny or something.”
Your laugh is sudden and clearly catches Joshua off guard. “I wouldn’t have kept any of Johnny’s clothes. I gave them all to charity.”
“I’m sure he was thrilled with that,” Joshua laughs.
“They made a killing reselling them,” you laugh in response. “Wanna watch something?”
“Sure, you pick,” he says.
You start clicking through your saved list to find something that the two of you can watch. Once you settle on something, Joshua motions you over. Even if you want to pretend you’re considering it, you can’t. Every part of you wants to be close to him. When you slide over, he pulls you in tighter to his body and you fit like you always belonged there with him.
If you thought he was physically affectionate when he was pretending, it’s nothing compared to now that he knows you’re both in this. He has one hand running along your arm or the other along your thigh. Sometimes he reaches out to take one of your hands. Other times he presses kisses into your hair. It’s pretty clear right away that he’s not paying much attention to the show.
If you’re being honest, you’re not really either.
Everything is distracting. The way his fingers on the bare skin of your arm raises goosebumps. The way his kiss in your hair makes your eyes close in appreciation. The way he squeezes your thigh and short circuits your brain.
You can’t help it. You turn your head so that you can look at him. He caresses your cheek, so gentle. Runs his thumb across your lip. You’re holding your breath, just waiting to see what he’s going to do. When you feel like you’re going to go a little bit insane, his hand moves to the back of your neck and pulls you in. It’s exactly like the first kiss before the wedding. At least, at first. It’s gentle, but full of so much desire. It’s also slow, like there’s no rush to any of it.
The position is really uncomfortable, though. You shift your legs so they’re draped over one of Joshua’s. He doesn’t miss a beat. It just allows him to pull you closer. There’s something incredibly intimate in kissing him like this. There’s this weird contrast of desire and comfort. It’s heated, but also a little lazy. Like you have all the time in the world. Which you do, you think, now that you’re being honest about your feelings.
When Joshua pulls back from the kiss, you chase his lips for a second before realizing that he’s pulled away. The way he looks at you nearly melts you into the couch.
“I don’t want to assume where this is headed, but maybe we should take it to the bedroom?” he asks. It’s cute, the way he’s a little shy. Like you didn’t invite him in to spend the night. Yeah, you’re in way over your head. At least it seems like he might be too.
You pull your legs back so that you can stand up. His eyes track your movements as you reach your hand back to him. He accepts it without a word and lets you lead him to the bedroom. Even if he’s seen your bedroom before, this feels different. You’re waiting for him to look around, but his eyes are glued on you. Joshua even waits for you to lead him all the way to the bed, so you direct him to sit on the edge.
Once Joshua is seated, you step between his legs and tilt your head down to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you so that he can pull you against him. There’s barely any space between you. It sends a little bit of a shiver as his hands run up your back and back down. The touch is gentle and caring. Like he’s trying to put everything he feels into it. Something about it just makes you feel so insanely safe.
He’s the one to break the kiss again, but this time it’s to move back onto the bed and grab your hand to pull you along with him. It’s easy to just follow suit and get comfortable laying next to him, bodies facing each other. The kissing picks up when your lips meet again. Joshua kisses you breathless with a passion you’re eager to explore. One of his hands rests on your hip, casually sliding beneath your shirt and caressing up your side. You press your body further into his and capture his moan with a kiss. It feels like you’re a bit drunk off each other.
When Joshua’s hand moves back down, you take the chance to throw your leg over his hip, allowing you to press further into him and feel how this is turning him on. Part of you knows that he’s still waiting for you to set the pace. Or that he wants things to be a little slower. So, you help him out and roll the two of you over so that you’re straddled on top of him. Putting his hands on your hips, you lean over to kiss him again. In this position, you can also grind into his lap. You delight in how he’s already getting hard beneath you, enjoy the way his hands grip the soft flesh of your hips.
He pulls back and looks at you with blown pupils. “Baby, please don’t tease me.”
“No silly pet name?” you tease him.
“Not when you’re getting me this turned on like a horny teenager,” he whines.
“You mean like this?” you ask, injecting as much innocence as you can when you slowly drag your clothed pussy across his dick again.
Joshua throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and grips you tighter. “Yes.”
“So you don’t like it?” you ask, grinding a little more.
“Fuck,” he hisses out. And somehow that’s the thing that almost breaks you. Why is that one swear so hot on his lips?
Without saying anything, you sit up a little bit, still making sure you’re straddling Joshua, so that you can pull his shirt off him. Your eyes go wide because you’ve never seen him shirtless. You’ve seen him in well fitted suits or shirts, but this is entirely different. His chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist. All your attention is on your fingers running along his chest and you don’t see the way it makes him a little shy.
His hands reach for your own shirt, playing with the hem like he’s asking permission. So, you move his hands aside and pull it over your head, leaving your skin bare as well. You watch him drink you in, feeling almost empowered by the desire you see in his eyes. He pulls you back towards him so that he can get one of your breasts into his mouth. The way he teases your nipple with his tongue has you clenching around nothing. You can feel how wet it’s making you and try your best not to squirm when he moves from one breast to the other.
“I need you,” you utter.
“I need you, too,” he says against your skin. His hips buck up into you almost involuntarily.
You slide off of him and pull your shorts down and he gasps that you don’t have any underwear on. It isn’t like you were expecting anything, you just wanted to be prepared. While he’s still a little drunk on the sight of you fully naked, you help him discard the rest of his clothing. The sight of his cock springing free, precum leaking out, has you wanting to get your mouth on him.
But, you’re realizing, what you really want is to feel him inside you. After so much tension and wondering, you just want to have this moment together. You want to be as close as two people can possibly get. You want all the intimacy and to be able to see his face. It’s this thought that pushes you back to the bed to lay with him.
Joshua repositions and runs a hand down your body. Lets his fingers run along your thighs and tease their way up to gather some of your wetness. Your eyes close as he runs a finger up your slit. It’s such a little amount of contact and it makes you moan anyway.
“Damn, are you this wet just for me?” he asks and presses a kiss into the first bit of your skin he can reach.
“I want to feel you,” you admit. Joshua makes you press a finger into your pussy, but you stop him. Confusion takes over his features.
“I thought…do you not want this?” he asks.
“I do, but I want…I want all of you,” you admit. “I want to feel you deep inside of me. I want to be completely ruined by you. I want to come together.”
“Shit,” he hisses, hand stilling against your body. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?” you ask.
“I want to taste you soon,” he says, pressing a kiss into your shoulder.
The thought of him between your legs makes you shiver. It’s almost enough to forget that you want this first time to be together. “Deal.”
“Do you have condoms? I wasn’t exactly expecting…” he says, trailing off.
“That drawer,” you say and point.
He rolls himself off of the bed to open the drawer. You’re not sure why you expect his hands to be a little unsteady when he rips open the wrapper and rolls it onto himself, but he’s so calm. Maybe it’s just you that’s a little nervous. At least, that’s what you think until you catch the look on his face. It has to be the same as yours, naked want mixed with a little bit of uncertainty. Everything else has been so easy with you, what if this is where it goes wrong?
“Just lay back,” he urges you, voice calming any lingering nerves. His voice drops to a whisper, like the next statement is just for him. “You’re so beautiful, every single inch of you.”
It makes your heart constrict in a way that you’re not really prepared for. It would be nice if your feelings could stop flooding in all at once like a dam breaking. It’s overwhelming. You do as he says, though, and lean back against the pillow. Joshua gently spreads your legs apart and takes another moment to appreciate you. He can’t seem to help himself from running a finger along your entrance.
Even though he would fully be within his rights to tease you, he doesn’t. He lines himself up at your entrance and looks to you for final confirmation. All you can manage is a nod. You know he wants to hear you, but you can’t bring yourself to form the words. So, he accepts the nods and slowly presses into you.
“Fuck,” you hiss as you adjust to him.
“Are you okay?” he worries.
“Feels good,” you say with a slight whine. “It’s just been a bit.”
He presses the rest of the way into you and then stills so you can get used to him. It’s really overwhelming. Not just because you’re finally feeling him inside of you. More so because he’s looking at you with more adoration than you’ve ever felt in your life. Like this is it for him. Like you’re it for him. It’s too early to be thinking of love, but you really don’t know if anyone has ever loved you so completely. You think he’s probably it for you too.
Once he finally starts to move, you know it’s going to be over entirely too fast. He starts with slow thrusts, testing what you want. You dig your fingers into his arms as a way to ground yourself. To anchor yourself to him and in the moment. When he picks up the pace, your mind goes entirely blank. It’s just the right speed. While you love the hard and fast fucking, there’s something so much more intimate about this kind of in between speed.
“God you feel so good,” he whines as he snaps into you again. “So tight and perfect.”
“You’re so - oh my god,” you moan out, unable to finish the sentence as he hits you just right.
Joshua moves one of your legs so that it’s over his shoulder and presses further into you, hitting deeper than you were prepared for.
“Fuck, Joshua, holy shit,” you scream out.
“Love the sound of my name on your lips,” he manages as his thrusts pick up pace.
You want to respond that you love saying it, want to say anything, but the thrusts are entirely too much. As if it wasn’t already too much, Joshua adjusts again so that he can press his thumb against your clit. He rubs circles in time with his thrusts and you think that you might see stars. You throw your head back, eyes pressed shut.
“Look at me, baby. I wanna see you when you come,” he urges, his own voice sounding ragged.
Despite wanting to focus on the pressure building between you, you do as he asks. Your eyes meet his and it’s that look that makes that coil snap. You’re coming hard and digging your fingers into whatever you can find to release some of the tension in your body. This might be the best orgasm you’ve had.
When you come back to this plane, Joshua has stilled inside of you. One of his hands gently caresses your face as he mumbles quiet praises. It’s so impossibly tender.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, you can move,” you assure him.
“Thank fuck,” he mumbles.
His pace now picks up to something fast and hard with one of his large hands anchoring your thigh to his body. Your hands grip any part of his body that they can reach and you relish the way he hisses when your nails drag patterns down his skin. Marking him so that he belongs to you. Just as you belong so completely to him.
It seems impossible but you can feel the tension building low in your stomach again. His thrusts are so hard that you feel like his cock might split you open and something about it just works for you. You hadn’t thought anything about him would translate to this kind of hard and fast sex, but it’s somehow better than you could have imagined. With him so focused on chasing his own high, you rub circles on your clit to bring yourself over the edge again. You tumble over the edge for a second time just as Joshua’s thrusts get erratic. You do your best to take over the rhythm before slowing down.
Joshua collapses on top of you, cock still buried in your pussy, and sighs. His weight on top of you feels like the best security you’ve ever had. Your hands find their way into his hair, gently stroking and scratching his scalp. As he comes back around, he presses his head further into your hand.
“Hey,” you say when he looks up at you.
“You’re perfect,” he responds and you can’t keep the smile off your face.
“You were pretty perfect yourself,” you say.
“Am I too heavy, I could…” he starts and you pull him tighter against you.
“Don’t you dare,” you warn.
He doesn’t say anything, just nuzzles his face into your neck. But, you know that you can’t stay like this forever. So you don’t protest when he gently pulls himself up and gets out of the bed. You’re right behind him, leading him into the bathroom so that you can get both of you cleaned up.
After getting cleaned up, dressed, and doing your respective night time routines, you and Joshua are settled back into your bed (on top of a fresh set of sheets). Although you’ve never been much for falling asleep cuddling, you can’t imagine leaving any space between you and him. When he wraps himself around you, all you can do is smile and settle deeper into his perfect chest. Honestly, every inch of this man is perfect and you’d be annoyed if you weren’t so helplessly attached to him.
And it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in a long time. You wake up with his chest pressed into your back and his arm still wrapped around you. It sounds like he’s still asleep based on his breathing and so you’re just considering slipping out of the bed. He moves in his sleep and pulls you tighter against him, making you feel that he’s semi-hard again. You press back against him, almost testing if he’s really asleep.
He’s not.
Joshua’s hand, already against the skin of your stomach and underneath your shirt, moves further up to your breast. His hand squeezes your breast and then he brushes his thumb over your nipple. Your body responds to his touch embarrassingly fast, which only seems to spur him on. He’s got your nipple between his fingers before you press back into him again, wiggling your ass against his dick without pretending you’re doing otherwise.
“Good morning beautiful,” Joshua says in a raspy voice into your ear.
The warmth of his breath along with the pressure of him rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger has you suppressing a moan. In the quiet of the morning, he hears it anyway. He removes his hand from your breast and you want to pout at the loss of contact. That is, until his hand works down between your legs, roughly grabbing hold of your pussy through your shorts. He runs his middle finger through your folds, likely feeling the way your shorts are getting soaked through already.
“Feels like someone might have woken up ready,” he says into your ear, voice sinfully low. His finger is still slowly teasing you through the damn material of your shorts. Somehow that makes it feel hotter.
“I wonder why,” you retort, undermined by the way you squirm under his touch.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks and stops his movements.
Your hand immediately moves to his. To guide him back to your cunt. “Please don’t. Want to see what those hands can do.”
His mouth is still by your ear, so you hear the dark chuckle and feel the air tickle you. He moves your hand aside along with your shorts as he slips his hand inside the fabric. His middle finger resumes the previous pattern almost lazily. You’re about to ask him to stop teasing you when he presses a finger inside you suddenly.
“Fuck,” you nearly scream.
“Is someone a little sensitive?” he teases. He’s a fucking demon and you would gladly sell your soul so he didn’t stop.
The way he pumps his finger inside of you is entirely too slow. But, when you try to meet his rhythm, he stops. Just when you think you might actually die, he inserts a second finger. It makes your back arch, pressing your ass further against his now very hard cock. He hisses and pulls his fingers out from you. As you’re turning over to adjust your position, you see him insert his fingers into his mouth. Holy shit. He really is the hottest man you’ve ever met.
Instead of letting you carry on in any way, he pushes himself up and repositions. You’re not really sure what he’s doing until he reaches for your shorts to pull them off. His focus is on you, silently asking for permission again. All you can do is nod.
“Told you that I wanted to taste you,” he reminds you once your shorts are off.
“Are you sure…” you start to ask before he cuts you off.
His head snaps up so he can meet your eyes. “I’ve been waiting to taste you for weeks.”
That shuts you up pretty effectively. What can you really say in response to that? Anything you might have said dies in your throat as he licks a messy stripe up your folds. He quickly settles, using one hand to keep you spread open for him, and licks into you. It’s all you can do to keep your eyes on him as his head bobs between your legs. You thread your fingers through his hair to keep him in place even though you know he’s not going anywhere. (And okay, maybe it’s more to ground yourself to him than anything else.)
It shouldn’t be surprising that his attentiveness translates this well, but it is a little surprising how well he seems to know your body. The way he knows just when to switch from licking into your cunt to flicking his tongue over your clit. The way he knows when he needs to add a finger and then a second. The way he can tell everything your body needs before you even realize it.
By the time he pulls himself up your body, he’s got you nearly panting from the build up. The kiss he presses to your lips is sloppy and a little desperate. Like you’re both totally fucked out. His fingers inside you keep a relentless pace as he hooks them, hitting that perfect spot.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you yell out, breaking the kiss. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire in an entirely different way from the night before.
There’s nothing in the world but Joshua and the way he coaxes everything out of you. The way he has you squirting on his fingers. You’re not even sure if the praise coming out of your mouth makes any sense and you’re definitely not sure what he says in return. It’s all you can do just to appreciate the moment.
You think that you’re going to get the chance to get your mouth around his cock now that he’s given you another mind blowing orgasm. But, by the time you get your breathing under control, you see that he’s rolling a condom from your drawer onto himself. He pulls you to the edge of the bed so that your legs are hanging off. It’s instantly stronger than you’re expecting from him and pulls a gasp from you.
Without even thinking, your legs fall open. Joshua seems to have found a bottle of lube, too, and spreads it over his cock. When he lines himself up at your entrance, you expect him to ease in like the night before. He doesn’t. He snaps his full length inside of you in one motion and you’re so overstimulated, but it feels so good.
“Fuck me, Joshua, oh my fucking god,” you say and clench down around his dick.
“Shit, that feels so good,” he hisses.
“You feel so good,” you moan.
“You have no idea,” he answers and starts thrusting.
It’s a complete haze from the moment you hear his skin slap against your own. Every coherent thought leaves your head. There is nothing in the world but you and him and the way you make each other feel. He leans over your body, crowds your space. Steals sloppy, desperate kisses. Praises you constantly and in broken sentences. It’s all you can do just to hold on, so sore and so unable to stop.
Your hands grip into the sheets around you that are completely rumpled. You try everything to keep your eyes on Joshua’s face. Memorize the way he looks when he’s concentrating. Appreciate how totally gone he is because you’re sure it’s the same look you have. Delight in the way his eyes get even wider when you clench your pussy around him.
It feels a little like he’s using your body to chase his own high, except there’s total comfort in that. All you want is for him to feel as good as you do. All you want is for him to get that release, especially since you haven’t been able to get your mouth on his cock yet.
“Harder Joshua, please. I know you’re close,” you beg and he obliges immediately.
Even though you’re trying to meet the rhythm, you can’t. It’s too erratic and too unpredictable. So you pull him down to you again and kiss him. Slip your tongue inside his mouth and let the kisses get as sloppy as they need to. You feel how close he is and only kiss him harder. He breaks the kiss for the last few thrusts, groaning as he comes. You’re right there with him.
(Later, he tells you that he’s never seen anyone hotter than you when you come. It would make you embarrassed in any other situation. But, you realize that you’ve never been with anyone that’s come close to him, so maybe it’s okay to accept his praise. Maybe you deserve it. Maybe this is the person that you’ve been waiting for.)
Now, you really do have to get up and clean up. As tempting as Joshua’s offer to shower together is, you don’t want it to turn into shower sex because that’s just not sexy (or practical). Neither one of you can seem to guarantee keeping their hands off the other. Instead, you tell him that he can use the shower in your guest room. It’s fully stocked and there are still more spare clothes in there. He insists that he should get some laundry going because you must be running out of clean sheets and you definitely made a mess.
With Joshua cleaning up some around the house, you’re the first out of the shower and dressed. Pleasantly sore in the kind of way you really enjoy. You’re sitting on the couch and scrolling through your phone, trying to decide if you want to order food or just cook what you already have. Before you can make a decision, there’s a knock at the door. It’s impossible to guess who it could be. Even Jeonghan wouldn’t bother you like this. Although he’s been texting asking for an update after you told him you finally got your shit together, he wouldn’t show up like this.
When you open the door, you’d give anything for it to just be Jeonghan. Instead, you see a face that you’ve been seeing entirely too much lately.
“What are you doing here, Johnny?” you ask with a heavy sigh.
“I need to talk to you,” he says.
“Why?” you ask.
“Come on, don’t be like that,” he pleads.
“Johnny, it’s the day after your wedding. What the fuck are you doing on my doorstep?” you ask, arms crossed.
“Are you really going to make me do this in the hallway?” he asks.
“I don’t see any reason to invite you inside,” you retort.
“It’s about your, uh, boyfriend,” Johnny says a little awkwardly.
“Joshua?” you ask because that actually piques your interest a bit.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“No. What about Joshua?” you ask.
“This is really awkward. It would be better if we were sitting down…” Johnny starts.
“My little honeybun, is everything okay?” Joshua asks from inside the apartment. He must be out of the shower.
“Babe, we talked about the pet names,” you remind him as he joins you at the door.
“Oh, uh, I wasn’t expecting him to be here,” Johnny says.
“I’m her boyfriend, so I know why I’m here. What are you doing here?” Joshua says without hiding any disdain.
"Are you really her boyfriend, though?" Johnny challenges.
You stiffen almost imperceptibly, but Joshua must notice it because he wraps an arm around you protectively. "Of course I am. Why are you here?"
“I needed to talk to her,” Johnny says stiffly.
“About you, apparently,” you say with your eyes on Joshua.
“Right, so can you give us a minute?” Johnny asks with his eyes on Joshua.
“No, he can’t. If you have something to say, just say it. Then you can leave us alone,” you say.
“Fine, if you really want it to be like this, fine,” Johnny says. “I knew he looked familiar when I saw him at your parents’ house with you. It just took me a while. I ran into him at a couple of functions back when I was in college and traveling all around for my dad.”
“Okay? And? I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why I care,” you say even though you know where he’s going.
“He was always with older women,” Johnny presses.
“Can you just make your point so we can get back to our day?” Joshua asks.
“Fine,” Johnny says, irritated. “The whispers were that women paid him to come to the events with them. That he was selling himself to them.”
You actually snort at the phrasing. It takes you several seconds to compose yourself. You wonder what the point of Johnny doing this and if it’s his way of trying to keep you on the hook. Then you realize that you don’t really care what he does. For the first time in forever, you’re genuinely happy.
“I’m glad you think this is funny,” Johnny says.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I know how Joshua helped pay for his education. And like why am I going to give him a hard time over seizing an opportunity? There’s nothing wrong with profiting off of someone wanting his company platonically,” you say.
“You’re assuming he wasn’t also sleeping with them,” Johnny says, a little stubborn.
“No, I’m not assuming. I know he wasn’t because we’ve talked about this. He told me all about it without even being prompted. And unlike certain people in my life, I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. I know I can actually trust him,” you say. “It was also years before we met. We’ve all got history.”
“Nice dig,” he says.
“It’s not a dig, Johnny. Not everything is a slight,” you say with a sigh. “Where does Gabby think you are?”
“What?” Johnny asks.
“Your wife,” you clarify. “Where does she think you are?”
“Oh, well, that’s not important. I just said I had some errands to take care of,” Johnny says and you roll your eyes.
“We’re done, Johnny,” you say.
“Wait,” he says as you’re moving to shut the door. “I know I fucked up, but…”
“There’s no buts. Not anymore,” you say. “Maybe there was a point where I’d want to hear the buts and the apologies and all that. I’m happy now, though, and you can’t even tell your wife that you came to see your ex-fiancee the day after your wedding.”
“It’s not like…” he starts and you start to close the door at the same time.
“It’s exactly like that. Goodbye, Johnny,” you say.
The second you close the door, you feel a giant weight lifted off you. You just feel tired. It’s obvious that there aren’t any feelings there anymore, so him pretending he cares as a pretense to see you just feels irritating.
“Are you okay?” Joshua asks, eyes raking over you.
“Yeah, I’m good,” you say.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Yeah, really. I think I knew when I saw him at my parents’ house that time you came over for dinner that I was completely over it,” you say. “I’m sorry he tried to bring something like that up or make it a big deal.”
“I don’t care. It’s like you said, I did it and I’m not ashamed of that,” he says. “But, uh, I really wanted to thank you.”
“For what?” you ask.
“For defending me and for saying you trust me,” he says. It makes you a little shy for a second, so you look down.
“Oh, well, it’s not a big deal,” you say.
Joshua closes the space and tilts your chin up to look at him. “It’s a huge deal to me. I know we started pretending, but trusting me means the absolute world.”
“You make it easy,” you admit.
That seems to render him a little speechless as well because all he does is pull you into him in the tightest hug he’s ever given you. Your body fits into his like a puzzle piece. Which sounds sappy, even if in your head, and you don’t actually care. It’s the safest and the happiest you’ve ever felt.
“What?” he asks when you pull away.
“Nothing, I just think this is going to work,” you say.
Joshua smiles at you, that genuine smile he saves for when he’s at his happiest. “Yeah, I think so too.”
i hope you enjoyed this fic! let me know your thoughts 💕
tag list: @aaniag, @gyuminusone, @crepecakeu, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @amoryeonjun, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizoon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @straykidswhoo789, @holistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @matchahyuck, @sonybear40, @kimseokgen, @hyneyedfiz, @miujunhui, @graybaeismytae, @hyucksrealm, @livixxn, @sharonxdevi, @coupsystar8, @sana-is-ms-rmty, @pyeonghongrie-main, @naajaeminsgf, @beomesbabe, @magicshop913, @deletingthekisses, @lissiesykes (strikethrough means i couldn't tag, check your settings!)
#joshua smut#joshua fluff#joshua angst#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua fic#joshua fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#svt x reader#svt x you#svt smut#svt fluff#svt angst#svthub#kvanity#joshua imagines#joshua scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#svt imagines#svt scenarios#ksmutsociety
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Golden Hour | husband!joshua x reader
After a long day of surf and sun, Joshua somehow still has the energy to fuck you into the hotel mattress. Being in love (and obsessed) with his wife always pays off.
Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~4.4k | Pairing: hjs x reader | Genre: smut
Part of the Husband Joshua series! Can be read as a standalone
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V
Warnings: idk how to surf so if this is wrong blame wikihow, possessive!josh, drink mention but it doesn’t have to be alcoholic, oral r. rec., spitting, some spanking, fingering, piv sex, breeding kink but they don't want kids, creampie(s), cockwarming
Reader Notes: has breasts and a vagina, on some form of birth control, referred to as a wife, wears a bikini (every body is a bikini body), wears a dress
Joshua raises a hand to his face, holding it above his eyes to block the glaring sun as he scans the crowded shore for you. He’s been out in the water for a while, trying to improve his surfing skills and also perhaps trying to impress you, just a little. Neither you nor him have been to the beach since your honeymoon, and he doesn’t want you to think those lessons he splurged on while you were having a spa day were for nothing.
He’s caught a few waves so far but hasn’t made it close enough to the shore to see your face, so he has no idea if you’ve been watching him or if you’ve just been reading and listening to music. He won’t be hurt if you haven’t had your eyes on him, but he does want you to see him ride at least one wave.
He hears some murmurs from the few other surfers in front of him and turns around, instantly seeing what has them talking. There’s a big one coming in, building and building and building, and if he starts paddling now, he just might make it.
So he leans forward onto his stomach, his arms powering through the water even as his muscles begin to ache from so much use. The ocean beneath him starts getting sucked in, contributing to the rolling wave, and he prepares himself to pop up and find his balance.
His heart races as he takes off, getting his feet beneath him and standing on steady legs, his arms loose and his eyes trained on the shore. He rides the wave as far as he can, bailing when it starts to peter out and immediately swimming up to catch his breath. Climbing back onto his board, he looks around for your rented rainbow sun umbrella, grinning when he realizes he’s much closer to it than he thought he’d be.
You’re not under it though, his smile dropping as he starts to survey the beach, searching for you. He can’t seem to find you, and for some reason that has his heart racing again, this time in anxiety rather than exhilaration.
“Joshie! That was amazing!” You exclaim from somewhere to the left of him, your voice just a bit faint but still easily recognizable. He whips his head over, his shoulders relaxing as soon as he sets eyes on you, wading waist deep in the clear blue water and making your way toward him.
He beams and hops off the board, closing the remaining distance and catching you with one arm as you launch yourself at him. The other keeps hold of his board, though he wishes he had both hands free to hug you back.
He also wishes he could feel your skin against his, but his swim shirt is still in the way and he won’t be able to take it off until you let go of him, which he’s not going to ask you to do any time soon.
It’s silly but he’s missed you while he was out surfing, even though it’s only been a couple of hours. You’ve been on vacation for three days already and he’s grown used to sharing every minute with you, being in your presence for each breath in and each breath out, bar bathroom breaks and the one nap you took without him when he wanted to explore and you wanted to stay in.
He wishes it could be like this all the time, but he’ll settle for the rest of the week if only because he knows he’ll have you for the rest of his life.
Too soon, you pull away, sliding your hands from his shoulders to rest on his chest, your touch appreciative and the slightest bit possessive. His hand on your waist tightens, his fingers digging into the soft flesh exposed by your bikini. You let him pick out your swimsuit today, and while some men might want to cover their wife up, he’s the opposite.
He thinks it’s hot that people are looking at you, wanting you, not knowing he’s the only one you’ll ever go home with. They realize when he presses his lips to yours in a claiming kiss, when he lets his hands wander a little, when they notice the matching rings on your left fourth fingers.
He doesn’t even know if anyone is looking at you now, too busy staring into your eyes to notice anything else, but he feels the urge all the same. You can already tell what he wants, leaning in to meet him in the middle as he kisses you deeply, slowly, sucking at your bottom lip and sliding his tongue into your mouth when it opens on a gasp.
His hand slips down to your ass, squeezing it over your swimsuit hard, pulling your cheek up and over, surely tugging at your pussy too. You squirm against his chest, pressing closer to him as your fingernails dig into his pecs.
He remembers you’re at a public beach when a wave crashes into you, and thank goodness it did because he was millimeters away from slipping his hand into your bikini bottoms so he could find out if you’re wet from the water or wet for him.
He pulls away and laughs, shifting his hand to your lower back and pecking you one last time before breathing, “Should we head back to the room?”
“Yeah, I think we should. Wanna lay out enough to dry off first?” You offer hopefully, and while he kind of just wants to throw you over his shoulder and haul you to the hotel now, he knows you hate tracking water through the clean lobby.
“Sure, baby, we can do that,” he smiles fondly, giving you one last squeeze and releasing you. His board goes under one arm and you go under the other, your hand coming up to hold his as you walk back to the shore together.
He splits off from you to return the board to the surf shack, promising he’ll bring back one of those coconut drinks for you to share though he knows you’ll likely have most of it.
The line isn’t too long for the return of the board or the purchase of the coconut drink, thankfully, and he walks back to you with care, not wanting to spill even a drop.
You’re on your stomach to the side of the umbrella when he arrives, not under its shade but close enough that it’s obviously yours, a thick terry cloth blanket spread out under you with just enough room for his body too. He sighs contentedly as he sits next to you, handing over the drink and smiling as your eyes widen with glee, your lips pursing around the straw to take an excited sip.
He reaches for the hem of his surf shirt and yanks it off, wringing it out away from the blanket and laying it flat on the edge of the lounge you no longer occupy. You roll over to lay on your back and he feels your eyes on him like a physical touch, your gaze hot and familiar on his chest and stomach.
He loves how you look at him, loves that you’d rather stare at him than at the beautiful beach around you, loves even more that you’re obsessed with his body just like he’s obsessed with yours.
He also loves that this way, he can look at you too. You shift up onto your elbows, your breasts jiggling with the movement, and he feels a bolt of desire shoot straight down his spine as he lets his eyes lovingly travel over every available inch of you. Over your soft tummy and your squeezable hips and your perfect, perfect thighs. Thighs he wants to suffocate between. Thighs he wants to sink his teeth into. Thighs he wants to hold down to the bed as he-
“I think I’m dry enough. Are you?”
He clears his throat and attempts to clear his head, but images of you still swim through his thoughts, even as he nods and tugs at his board shorts to subtly adjust himself. They don’t feel as wet between his fingers, just damp, and when he reaches for his shirt, it’s close enough to dry that he only cringes a little as he pulls it back on.
You pack up together quickly, and Joshua is almost relieved when you reach for your dress and tug it over your head, needing a reprieve from your near naked body. He’s less relieved when he remembers that it’s a fucking sundress.
Of course it is, that’s all you’ve been wearing on this trip, and he doesn’t know how he forgot. This is worse, because it’s his favorite article of clothing on you, and because he knows all you’ve got on under it is an easily untied, flimsy little bikini.
It takes everything in him not to pull you into one of the changing cabanas, bend you over, and make you scream for him; he manages somehow, the knowledge that he can do the latter two when you get into the room tiding him over, but only just.
He’s silent while you return the umbrella, his hand tight around yours as you walk through the lobby, and he’s glad you know him well enough to understand that he’s not upset or annoyed, just nearly out of his mind with desire for you.
The wait for the elevator feels like eons, especially when he looks at you in the reflection of the metal doors, your form slightly fuzzy but clear enough for him to see the rise of your tits under your dress and the way the hem flutters gently over your thighs. Those thighs…
The doors part with a ding and you pull him inside, pressing the button for your floor before the elevator fills with other guests, leaving you and Joshua at the back. You’ll have to maneuver in between them to get out but it means he can slide his hand up your dress and squeeze your ass again, his fingers slipping under your bikini to touch your bare skin.
They creep closer to the heat between your legs with every stop, and he’s just about to reach your pussy when the elevator lands on your floor. He reluctantly takes his hand back and rights your dress, murmuring, “Excuse us,” as he weaves around the few people left. When the doors close behind you, he twines his fingers with yours and breaks into a jog, tugging you to the room and grinning as a few bitten back giggles escape you.
He bounces on his toes as you dig the card out of your bag, your trembling fingers inserting it into the lock and his hand turning the handle as soon as the light glows green. He pushes the door open for you, following closely with his other hand tight on your hip, his dick already hard and throbbing in anticipation.
You’ve barely set your bag down before he’s steering you to the bed, crowding you up against the edge, and pressing your shoulder to bend you over. He flips up the hem of your dress and tears down your bikini, knocking your legs apart with his own and pushing his left knee up until yours rests on the bed. He’s sure you expect him to drop his shorts and sink right into you, which is probably why you gasp when he falls to his knees and slaps your ass with both hands before spreading your cheeks apart and shoving his tongue inside of you.
You taste fucking divine, the beloved flavor of your pussy tinged with salty seawater, and he groans deeply into you, fucking his tongue in and out of your entrance and swallowing as his mouth fills with saliva and your arousal.
He fucks you with his tongue until you’re whining and shaking above him, tilting your hips to improve the angle and rocking into his movements. The leg keeping you up starts to quiver, and he pulls away just long enough to gasp out, “On the bed, baby, get on the bed.”
You listen, clumsily climbing up and stretching out for him, face down, ass up, just like he likes you. He smacks your ass again just because he can before spreading your pussy open with his thumbs and spitting on your clenching entrance. Some of it seeps inside of you and some of it trails down to your clit, leaving the bud glistening and just begging for his attention.
He leans down and wraps his lips around it, sucking in hard, quick pulses until you cry out, “Joshie, please!”
“Please what, baby? Tell me what you want,” he mumbles into you, just loud enough for you to hear.
“Your fingers, I want your fingers,” you whimper into the pillow, arching your back and pressing further into him in wanton need.
He licks his lips to get one last taste of you and slides two digits deep inside, giving you no time to adjust to the intrusion before pulling them out to the tip and sinking them back in. His pace rockets up, his tired muscles hard at work as he fucks you with his fingers, the wet sound of your pussy accepting them filling the air.
He wants to hear your voice too, slowing down and leaning over you to slide his fingers beneath your cheek and turn your head to the side so you’re no longer muffled by the pillow. Your gaze catches his and he smiles tenderly at you, pressing a kiss to your temple before returning to his previous position and hooking his fingertips into your g-spot, grinding harshly into it.
Predictably, you yelp, your eyes squeezing shut as he focuses on massaging that sensitive patch, his breath catching as he feels you get wetter around his fingers. You’re moaning now, your brows scrunched with pleasure and your mouth stuck open, and he reaches his free hand up to tap at your bottom lip with two fingers, sliding them into your mouth when you open wider for him.
You suction around them immediately, your tongue laving over his knuckles and bathing his fingers in saliva, and he feels his cock throb in his shorts in response, the memory of your perfect lips around it visceral and precious. He yanks his fingers back before he can get too distracted, reaching around you to sandwich your clit between them.
He starts fucking you with his other hand again, your hips jerking with it, stimulating your clit as he curls his fingertips towards your stomach, tapping your sweet spot with every thrust. It’s not long before you’re gasping out his name and clenching down, your thighs juddering as you fight to hold yourself up through the pleasure.
He doesn’t stop, pinching your clit harder and digging his fingers into you, scissoring them to stretch you out for another. A third squeezes in beside the first two, making you whine and claw at the duvet, your cunt contracting and trying to suck his fingers in deeper when he pulls them out.
“Fuck,” he groans, releasing your clit to press down on your back and deepen the arch, making it even easier for him to hit your g-spot. He wants to be inside of you, desperately, but he wants to make you cum again first, wants you to be so wet, he can just glide right in.
You’re getting close, he can tell by the way you’re pushing back into his thrusts and sobbing, and he doesn’t know what possesses him to say it, but it just feels so fucking right that he can’t stop the words from coming out.
“Cum for me and I’ll breed you full.”
You suck in a sharp gasp and bear down, your pussy rippling and leaking and fever hot as you break apart beneath him, your arousal soaking his hand and dripping down his wrist. It seems like it lasts forever, though he’s sure it helps that he’s still fucking his fingers into your g-spot as much as your tightness will allow.
He knows you’re done when you whimper brokenly and pull away from his touch, your hand reaching back to hold his wrist in place so he doesn’t follow you. He decides to let you catch your breath, sliding off the bed to shed his shorts and wipe his hand off on a towel, bringing it with him so he can spread it out under you like he should have done before.
You’re on your side when he returns, and he climbs back onto the mattress before carefully tugging at your shoulder and hip, pulling you to rest on your back and waiting for you to look at him.
When your eyes blink open, they’re teary and dazed, and you watch as he gathers a couple pillows, weakly lifting your hips just enough for him to slide them under you and lay the towel out on top of them. He’s gentle as he sets his hands on the backs of your knees and pushes your legs up, the angle making it easier for you to keep them tucked to your chest when your hands replace his.
He can tell your head is full of clouds by the way you gaze at him, and he attempts to bring you some clarity by asking, “Remember what I said before?”
You think for a second, your lips pouting as you try to recall, and he can’t resist leaning down over you and pressing his mouth to yours, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip before he soothes the sting with his tongue.
When he pulls away, it seems to come to you, and your eyes clear up just a bit as you respond, “You said you’d breed me full if I came for you.”
“Good, baby, that’s right. So what do you think I’m going to do now?” He asks, sitting back up on his knees and shuffling closer to lay his aching cock on your wet pussy, just barely grinding against you.
“You’re gonna-,” you take in a halting breath. “You’re gonna breed me?”
“Yeah, honey,” he nods with a hungry smirk, shifting his hips back enough to line himself up before pressing forward a few inches and popping the head of his cock inside of you. “I’m gonna fuck you full of my cum, until it’s dripping out of you. And then I’m gonna fuck it back in, and fill you up even more. Until it takes.”
You whimper from deep in your throat, pressing your lips together and readjusting your grip on your legs, your eyes darting down to stare yearningly at his cock.
“Do you want that?” He whispers, working himself in as slowly as he can manage, teasing both you and himself.
You just nod, but he wants to hear you say it, needs to hear it from your own lips.
“Tell me then.”
“I- I want you to fill me up with your cum, fuck a baby into me, please.”
He sinks the rest of his cock inside of you, covering your hands with his and spreading your legs wider, pushing them into your chest and resting his weight on them as he draws back and snaps forward.
He’s not gentle now, and he’s definitely not slow, his hips smacking into your ass as he thrusts forcefully into you, his grunts of exertion soon joining the cries escaping you. You’re staring up at him with stars in your eyes, your fingers tight on your thighs beneath his and your pussy fucking flawless around him, and he’s never been so in love.
That’s a thought he has constantly but he means it every single time, his devotion to you endless and all consuming.
His appetite for you is voracious enough to rival it; the need, the sheer greed that he feels when it comes to you stripping him down to his basest desires. He’s only human in the end, and nothing could be more human than the urge to love you, to fuck you, to breed you, to keep you. He knows you’re his already but beyond that ring on your finger, there’s one other thing that could show the world you belong to each other, and that includes pumping you so full of his cum, it sticks.
He’s getting close already just thinking about it, and the way you’re clenching and fluttering around him doesn’t help in the slightest. He wouldn’t mind breaking this early though, not when it means he can just get hard again and fuck his cum even deeper into you.
“Joshie,” you whine in the voice that means you’re inches away from the edge, and he feels his body respond, his heavy balls drawing up tight and his cock hardening further within you.
“Cum whenever you want, baby. I’m not stopping anytime soon,” he vows darkly, fully intent on keeping you in this bed and on his dick for the rest of the day. Maybe for the rest of his life.
You shudder at his words, gasping when he shifts his hips and changes the angle, the head of his cock now bullying right into your g-spot. He can’t hit as deep like this but he knows it’ll be enough to unravel you, and that’s exactly what he wants.
He grins wickedly when you start to ripple around him, knowing the waves of your orgasm are beginning to overtake you, and when it’s at its peak, he sinks in deep and lets you carry him with you. He groans roughly at the feeling of your undulating walls milking his cock, relief and bone deep satisfaction filling him as he fills you.
He doesn’t stop, doesn’t even slow down, fucking you through the sensitivity and burying his cum deeper inside of you. You buck against him in overstimulation, crying out his name with tears in your voice, and he feels his cock twitch and get harder, your pussy like a molten velvet vise around him.
An hour and two more loads pass by in a blur, every minute melting into the next as he ruts into you, barely pulling back enough to get any friction but grinding into your sweet spot to keep you pliant. He thinks he might’ve fucked you dumb, no words escaping your parted lips and no thoughts behind your glassy eyes. You’re still holding your legs up though, and that’s how he knows you’re present enough to hear him.
“Said I would fuck you full, didn’t I, baby?” He laughs breathily, his eyes trained on the sight of his cock thrusting into you, the combination of your arousal and his cum seeping out around him in bursts. “I think you’re pretty fucking full.”
You mumble something but he doesn’t catch it, and he shifts your legs onto his arms and leans down, bracing his hands on the bed to hold himself up. “What was that, honey?”
“Not enough,” you gasp out, releasing your thighs to wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s not enough, Joshie, I want more.”
Your words blend together but he hears them all the same, and a jolt of desire surges through him, traveling down his spine and ending in his cock. He gets his legs under him, trapping you in a mating press so he can put more power behind his hips as his strokes get deeper, longer, your fingernails digging into his neck with every thrust of his aching dick.
“I can give you one more, baby, I’ll give you whatever- whatever you want,” he groans raggedly, his vision blurring and his hips stuttering as he nears the edge for what he fears may be the last time. You clench and squeeze and flutter around him, whimpering, “Please, Joshie, breed me,” and that’s it for him.
This time when he cums, it’s enough to steal his voice, his breath, his thoughts. It’s blinding, the pleasure, but that just means he feels everything. He feels you falling to pieces on his cock, he feels the warmth of the sunset on his back, he feels his heart racing in his chest. He feels his cum filling you again, replacing what he’s fucked out, and more than anything, he feels satiated, like there’s nothing left to give and nothing left to take.
He all but collapses into you, shifting to rest his knees on the bed and dropping your legs from his arms, his face buried in your neck as he trembles and gasps for air. Your cunt is still hugging him tightly, and he winces at the sensitivity of his spent cock but doesn’t pull out, can’t pull out, not when he knows that all of his hard work will go to waste as soon as he does.
You run gentle fingers through his salty hair, your chest slowly rising and falling against his, and his body starts to grow heavy, exhaustion weighing him down and the comfort of your pussy keeping him warm.
He’s asleep before the golden light of the sun fades from the sky.
“Joshua, with everything we said, I have to ask… Have you changed your mind about kids?” You ask softly, your back to his chest and your body between his legs as you laze in the massive hotel bath together.
He presses his lips to your neck and thinks, only for a second, before responding, “No, I’m happy with our life. I don’t need anything but you.”
You let out a sigh of relief and turn in his arms, resting your cheek on his shoulder and tucking your legs up, your knees just barely out of the water. He scoops some up and pours it over you, not wanting you to get cold.
“Good, I feel the same way.”
“Love you,” he murmurs into your hair, kissing your crown and rubbing his hand up and down your back.
“I love you,” you whisper in return. “The breeding kink was hot though, let’s keep that?”
“Oh yeah, baby, for sure.”
AN: for @thatgirlfromwindsor and these anons 💖
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#svthub#k vanity#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua fanfic#joshua smut#hong joshua x reader#husband!joshua#hong jisoo smut#hong jisoo x reader#seventeen series#seventeen fic#seventeen smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#svt smut#svt imagines#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#svt x you#svt x y/n#kpop oneshots#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#✨emily writes✨
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maybe getting mad at your boyfriends over something petty wasn't the best idea.
pairing; 95line x fem!reader
genre; smut (minors dni)
w/c; 2.1k
a/n - based on this request. this is not proofread at all so ignore if any grammatical errors 😔 it's my first full fic so I'll appreciate any and every feedback!
smut warnings under the cut!
warnings; mentions of a creep at a club, poly, established relationship, dom!95line x sub! reader, degradation, petnames (babe, love, princess, cockslut), unprotected sex (don't do this), oral (m. receiving), double penetration, anal, creampie, slight chocking, fluff at the end. lmk if I missed anything!
It's 8pm. You haven't checked your phone all day. you were supposed to be off work 2 hours ago but your boss decided today would be the perfect day to ask you to do their monthly statistics compilation.
As you make your way upstairs the tiredness of the long workday finally kicks in. you sigh when you reach the door, wanting nothing more than to be in the comfort of your own home and your three boyfriends.
Hard days like this were guaranteed with a high profile job but you knew no matter what happens you’d always come home to the loves of your life.
As you open the door, the smell of your apartment fills your heart with a fuzzy warmth. You walk in and close the door behind you and it slowly hits you.
It's quiet.
Now living with 3 other people, there was always some form of noise in the house. Whether it be Jeonghan's tv show marathons, Joshua's guitar or Seungcheol listening to music, there was always some sound to fill the empty feeling in your ear.
A look around you can see that no one was at home. At first you assume Seungcheol was finally able to convince Jeonghan and Joshua to join the gym with him. You open your phone to see if any of them texted you their whereabouts.
[5:27]
Seungcheol : babe when are you off work?
Seungcheol : we were thinking of going to a movie
Seungcheol : i know you said you weren't interested in this genre but we really want to watch it
Seungcheol : text us when ur done?
[6:07]
Jeonghan : babeee the movie is at 6:30 you’re supposed to be off work by now where are youuuu
[6:24]
Joshua : hey we’re at the movie okay?
Joshua : we came without you because you said you last week that you weren’t that interested in this
Joshua : we’ll see you in 3 hours <3
Oh. They went to see a movie. Without you.
They’re not wrong, you did say war centric and movies more than 2 hours weren’t your thing but, they could’ve waited right? It's not like it's only going to play at the theatre once. They could’ve easily waited for you and asked?
You're not the type of person to get mad about things like this. Usually you'd brush it off and move on but maybe it's the mixed frustration of work and your boss that you decide to make a phone call
“Hey are you free clubbing tonight?”
So, this was a really bad idea. It's 9pm, you're at a shady club and your friend ditched you to go hook up with someone. When you initially called chan he was constantly reassuring you that he’ll be with you all night because you need it.
His bad jokes and humour for a second did make you feel better but the minute you guys entered the club and he laid his eyes on this girl, it was game over.
You can't blame him, she was pretty as hell. If he wasn't rushing to get alone with her you would’ve asked her where her eyeshadow was from. Now you're alone at the bar, staring at the drink in your hand. Your phone keeps lighting up with notifications but you don't respond.
[8:50]
Seungcheol : babe where are you?
Seungcheol : we left early because the movie was boring you were right
Seungcheol : please respond to us
Seungcheol : i know you're mad at us im sorry
[2 missed calls from Seungcheol]
[1 missed call from Jeonghan]
[3 missed calls from Joshua]
[1 missed call from Seungcheol]
You feel bad. You should respond, you should let them know you’re safe but for this once you feel like proving something to them. What exactly are you proving? Well, you haven't really figured that out yet.
You're staring at your phone when a voice interrupts your thoughts
“Hey, what's someone like you doing here alone?”
You look at your side to see a tall man in all black. He has short bleached hair and a pretty face. You laugh off his comment, not wanting to interact with anyone right now.
“Im mark, i couldn't help but notice how pretty you are” he smiles and extends his hand which you accept with a smile.
A few minutes of talking later, you start getting uncomfortable. Mark keeps trying to get you to leave with him even though you stated you had a boyfriend. He shrugs it off, his hand sliding to your waist and talking to you about how that doesn't matter.
You laugh nervously and excuse yourself to the bathroom, clutching your phone in your hands. You call the first person who shows up and he picks up in half a ring
“y/n? love where are you we’re worried sick”
“Seungcheol…im at levels bar please come pick me up there's someone making me uncomfortable”
You hear some shuffling in the background and Seungcheol reassures you that they're on their way.
About 20 minutes later you get a text from Joshua saying they're outside. You have to convince them not to come into the club, not wanting the situation to escalate or get worse. You successfully sneak out of the club, thanking your luck that Mark was now occupied with some other girl.
As you spot your boyfriends, you see relief wash over them. They bombard you with questions and when you confirm you’re okay, they help you in the car and drive back.
The air in the car is a little tense, no one clearly wants to bring up the topic of why you were at a club alone. Seungcheol had a rule you all followed - if there was something to talk about, you’d do it at home.
Once the car is parked, the four of you silently walk to your door. Jeonghan opens the door and lets all of you in. you take off your shoes and go sit on the couch, preparing yourself for whatever they’d ask you.
“Well? You want us to start?”
“I'm sorry” you say immediately, looking at the floor beneath you. You hear someone walking towards you.
A soft hand trails your face and lifts your chin to look up. Seungcheol has a small smile playing on his lips when he asks “what are you sorry for?”
“For getting mad at you guys and going to the club. I should've just told you i was mad at you” Seungcheol gives you a satisfied grin, his hand still forcing you to look at them standing over you
“We were worried sick, you know? You really almost gave us a heart attack” Joshua sighs looking at you. You give him a sad smile
“I'll make it up to you” you say and Jeonghan laughs loud, his voice echoing through the room
“Trust me you will” he says and walks over to you, his hands cupping your cheeks as he smashes his lips onto yours. He makes you lean back on the couch as he hovers over you, his lips moving in sync with yours as his tongue explores your mouth.
you feel the couch sink beside you and before you can see who it is, Joshua pulls you onto his lap, His firm body pressed on your back. You whimper as you feel his cock straining against his pants on your lower back.
It doesn't take long before they’ve helped you out of your clothes and all four of you are naked. Jeonghan goes to the bedroom to grab a bottle of lube.
You turn your face to kiss Joshua, slowly grinding your ass on his cock as Seungcheol sucks on your neck. His hands fondle your breasts, squeezing the pinching your nipple to hear those oh so sweet sounds you make. your moans muffled by Joshua's mouth.
You moan into Joshua's mouth as you feel Seungcheol trail his kisses down to your breasts and suck on them.
Jeonghan walks back in and tosses the bottle to Joshua. Joshua pours some on his fingers and circles your rim
“Gonna take me properly love?” Joshua whispers in your ear and you nod, unable to form coherent sentences. Joshua slowly aligns his cock with your rim and pushes in. The stretch hurts at first but the pain fuzes into a cloud of pleasure for you.
As Joshua slowly lowers you on him, Seungcheol aligns himself with your cunt. Unlike Joshua, Seungcheol isn't soft in the bedroom.
He knows exactly how to push you far enough for it to feel best, so he waits until you're fully lowered on Joshua's lap and he slams his entire length inside you.
His tip his your cervix perfectly, knocking the wind out of your lungs.
“F-fuck.. So..fu-full” you moan out.
You take a moment to regain your breath, back arched on Joshua as groans in your ear.
Jeonghan, clearly feeling a bit left out, tangles his hands in your hair and pulls your face off of Joshua's neck. He slaps his cock against your cheek and lips as he smiles down at you
“Open up” he commands.
As you open your mouth and suck Jeonghan's tip, Seungcheol takes the initiative to move. He slowly drags his cock out and thrusts his full length into you again making you moan on Jeonghan. The movement makes Joshua hit deeper in you.
Both of them start moving inside you. Seungcheol and him have a mismatched pace making you see stars as you suck Jeonghan harder.
Jeonghan holds the back of your neck and thrusts into your mouth, making you take him deeper as tears well in your eyes. He throws his head back and fucks your mouth.
The room is filled with groaning and skin slapping as Jeonghan hits the back of your throat with each move.
“Such a pretty fucking cockslut. You like us filling you up like this huh?” Seungcheol grunts and moves his hips faster. You try to respond but the cloud of lust fills your mind as you feel yourself reaching your edge.
Joshua, the ever observant slides his hand down to your clit and slowly rubs his thumb against it. The sensation makes you moan against Jeonghans cock, the vibrations making him moan your name.
After a few more thrusts you feel his movements stutter as he fucks your face.
“Want me to cum in your mouth princess?” he groans as you slip him out of your mouth to answer
“P-please Jeonghan..ne-need it”
Your pretty face begging for him is all he needs before he cums in your throat with a final thrust, painting it white. He pulls out and watches you swallow with a satisfied grin before collapsing on the couch next to Joshua.
The other 2 are not too far behind to follow, their movements becoming more erratic as they reach their highs. Joshua cums with a loud groan and throws his head back on the couch.
His hands keep moving on your clit as he comes down his high, his breathing heavy and inconsistent.
“Gonna fill you up so well you wont even fucking think about pullling this shit again” Seungcheol curses and his hand wraps around your neck. The slight cut in air with the stimulation on your clit makes you fall off the edge as you cum on Seungcheol’s cock, his orgasm following yours.
Your releases mix together inside you as he rides out his high. You lay back on Joshua as he and Seungcheol slowly pull out. The emptiness and the feeling of their cum spilling out of you makes you whimper. Your thighs sticky with your mixed releases.
You slowly feel yourself coming down from that cloud as Joshua pats your shoulder
“You okay? Did we go too hard on you love?” he asks with slight concern in his voice but you shake your head no. They could never hurt you.
The three of them help you get up and take a shower, laying out clean warm clothes for you and helping you lay on the bed. Jeonghan lays down next to you and pulls you into a warm hug.
“Don't do that again okay? You really had us worried” he whispers in your hair.
“Im sorry, i shouldn't have disappeared over something so small”
you say quietly but the 3 of them hear it, they always do.
Seungcheol presses a kiss to your forehead as Joshua rubs your back.
“We love you, don't forget that okay?”
#kara.thotz#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#svt x you#svt x y/n#seungcheol x y/n#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol smut#seungcheol#svt jeonghan#jeonghan smut#jeonghan x reader#joshua x y/n#joshua smut#seventeen joshua#seungcheol seventeen#seungcheol joshua jeonghan smut#svt scoups#seventeen scoups#scoups smut
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BOYFRIEND JOSHUA WHO...
pairing: idol!joshua x reader
genre: fluff, established relationship, comfort
warnings: skinship, lmk if i missed something
wc: 230
a/n: my love for him never stops growing
bf! joshua who makes sure you are drinking enough water daily
bf! joshua who likes to play with your hair-braiding your hair and styling it differently than usual
bf! joshua who loves to celebrate anniversaries, and always picks out the perfect gifts
bf! joshua who fights about who can do the cringest aegyo which always ends up in a tickle fight
bf! joshua who drops everything to sit and listen to you talk, running his fingertips along your sides.
bf! joshua who plans all the dates, and finds all the hidden spots
bf! joshua who is super proud and appreciative of whatever you do
bf! joshua who is your emotional support. who holds you close and whispers sweet nothings in your ears whenever you have a bad day
bf! joshua who texts you random messages throughout the day because he misses you
bf! joshua who always talks so highly of you in social settings to the point it feels like he's straight-up bragging about you
bf! joshua who buys you flowers on a random Tuesday, because it was Tuesday the day you first met
bf! joshua who insists that you must rest your head on his shoulders whenever you watch a movie together
bf! joshua who learns you favorite songs just so he can sing them for you
@kflixnet @k-films@k-labels
taglist⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅: @bangchansbae @haecien @aaniag if you want to be added just send me an ask ♡⸝⸝
#seventeen#mango.writes#kflixnet#k-films#k-labels#bf! seventeen#joshua#svt#seventeen headcanons#svtcreations#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#seventeen fic#seventeen x reader#seventeen joshua#joshua imagines#joshua hong#joshua x reader#joshua x y/n#joshua x you#hong jisoo
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◈ adorable and insufferable // joshua hong
joshua x gn!reader, 1.5k+ words
tags: sick fic, fluff, crack, established relationship, joshua makes small snuffly bunny noises when he's sick
warnings: food mention at the end
notes: for his birthday present, i give him a cold. as you can see, i love him very much.
Your boyfriend is sick.
He is, also, an absolutely terrible liar.
That leads you to the situation right now, where you’ve cornered Joshua in the kitchen, hands on your hips, a bunny spa headband pushing your hair back, and it’s not the most intimidating sight but Joshua gulps all the same, eyes darting around the kitchen nervously.
He’s looking for an escape route. You can see it in his eyes, clear as day, so you step even closer, voice dangerously calm as you speak.
“No, keep your eyes on me,” you say, face set into an angry frown. “Shua.”
Joshua looks at you, and tries not to breathe too weirdly. “Um. Y/N?”
You look him up and down, and then slowly fold your arms. “Shua,” you say again. “Are you sick?”
He blinks rapidly, and then has to stop, because it makes his head feel all woozy. “No?” he tries, and then coughs a little. He’ll claim it was out of nervousness, because you look kind of terrifying right now, but your eyes immediately widen at the sound, and he knows he’s busted.
“You are!” Instantly, you lunge for him as he tries to dive past you and escape this interrogation. “Joshua, come back! You’re sick!”
“I’m not! I’m not, I swear I’m not,” he insists, trying to pull away from the iron grip you’ve clasped around his wrist. Resistance is futile, though. You’re not letting him go, now that him and his wellbeing are involved. “Y/N, baby, please, I’m totally fine.”
“No you’re not,” you say firmly, and then begin dragging your whining boyfriend out the kitchen and towards the stairs.
“I—” He sneezes, then, a loud and wet sneeze that scrapes at his throat and makes his eyes water, and he pauses, shocked. He sniffles, rubbing his nose. “Okay. Maybe I am.”
You shake your head, partly exasperated, partly fond, and continue pulling Joshua up the stairs.
He’s been shuffling around the house looking mildly ill all day, and you’ve been waiting for the right moment to pounce on him and get him up to bed. Because Joshua, when he gets sick, utterly refuses to give in and accept that he’s coming down with something, always waiting until the last moment to finally admit defeat to whatever illness has plagued him this time.
By the time you’re opening the bedroom door and ushering Joshua inside, he’s looking considerably worse than before, face all flushed and eyes watering from the sudden coughing fit he had while coming up the stairs.
“Come on, baby,” you coax, tucking him into bed. You press a hand to his forehead, a little alarmed and a little amused by how quickly he managed to look severely ill during the short walk upstairs. “Sleep.”
“I can still function, you know,” he insists as you pull the covers over him. “I can—I can do things.”
“I’d rather you not,” you say, smoothing down his hair and tucking away a few stray strands. You shake your head in faux disappointment. “I knew you’d get sick from all those days where you went out wearing all those thin layers in winter. What were you thinking?”
Joshua huffs petulantly. “It’s called fashion.”
“It’s called making yourself sick,” you return, and then chuckle at his pout. Leaning down, you press a quick kiss to his forehead, brushing a finger over his cheek fondly. “Now sleep. You’re going to feel way worse tomorrow if you don’t.”
He grumbles, but there’s a small smile on his face as he bids you goodbye and asks you to shut the door properly on the way out.
───────────── 💗
Your boyfriend is very, very self-sufficient. He tries not to bother other people with his struggles and his concerns, but he’s also very terrible at hiding it away when someone asks him directly if everything’s okay.
He’s also really weak in the face of attention.
Which means that while he’s very self-sufficient, the moment you notice he’s unwell and call him out on it, he melts instantly and gets taken over by his sickness so quickly that it surprises you every time.
Slowly, you creak open the bedroom door, peering inside to see Joshua staring blankly up at the ceiling. His head snaps towards you as you walk across the room, but his eyes are all glassy.
“Y/N?” he murmurs, and all he’s said is your name but it’s like he’s speaking through a ball of cotton.
“Yes, it’s me,” you say, smiling a little, because his eyes positively shine when you confirm it. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you place a damp towel over his forehead, feeling his cheek with the back of your hand, and wince a little at how warm he is. “Goodness me, Shua, you’re burning up.”
“No, I’m not,” he murmurs. “You’re burning up.”
You smile a little, pinching his cheek lightly. “If you were this sick, then why didn’t you say anything, hm? You should’ve told me earlier.”
“I’m not that sick. I can still do stuff,” he says, eyes falling shut just slightly as you begin stroking his hair, a relaxing movement. “Hey, hey, Y/N, watch this.”
“Hm?” You stop stroking his hair, sitting back and waiting patiently.
There’s a long silence, and then Joshua cracks an eye open to look at you. He looks expectant—well, as expectant as a person with an extremely high fever can look—but when you don’t say anything, a small frown creases his brow.
“Didn’t you see it?”
“See what, baby?”
“The cartwheels. I did cartwheels.”
The statement is so absurd that you think he’s joking, but his face is set into such a serious pout that you can’t help but laugh a little, because there's something about fever-drowsed Joshua that is so adorable.
“You didn’t do any cartwheels, baby,” you say gently, and go back to stroking his hair. “You didn’t even get up.”
Joshua frowns, the pout deepening. “Oh.” His eyes close, and then open again. “I did them in my head, though. I’m sure I did.”
Cute, you think helplessly, unable to stop the smile spreading across the face. “Okay.” You kiss his nose. “I believe you. But I’m gonna go get you something to drink and eat, and then you’re gonna take some meds, okay?”
He makes a small noise of discontent when you get up, and then coughs, giving a pathetic sniffle like a sad little bunny, and you almost want to just stay next to him and never leave his side.
“You’re gonna need to take the meds to get better faster,” you say at the door. “I’ll be back soon, promise. Wait here.”
Joshua makes that sad noise again, but he watches you go. “Okay,” he says, all mumbly. “I promise not to cartwheel away.”
You laugh a little, because good lord, he’s so adorable. “Okay. I’m trusting you, alright?”
“Mhm.”
You close the door and walk down the stairs, shaking your head fondly.
───────────── 💗
It’s only several days later that his fever finally lets up, and he’s well enough to walk around the house once more. You wake up to Joshua in the kitchen, a blanket around his frame, making pancakes.
“Baby?” you ask, rubbing your eyes and yawning. “What are you doing?”
Joshua turns to you, and then grins, eyes crinkling fondly. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, and deposits the last pancake onto a plate. “I’m making you breakfast, of course. Here. Eat up. Want some french toast too?”
“Wh—huh?” you say, incredibly intelligently, slowly sliding into the seat that, like the gentleman he is, Joshua had pulled out for you. “Why?”
“It’s a thank-you present, obviously,” Joshua says, as he busies himself making french toast. As if the pancakes and spread of fresh fruit and waffles (he cooked waffles too?) aren’t enough. “I’ve been insufferable over the past few days.”
You chuckle a little, thinking of Joshua insisting he can do cartwheels while you try to spoon feed him soup. “Yeah, you have. But I didn’t mind. You’re my boyfriend. Of course I’m gonna put up with you.”
Joshua laughs. “Thank you, Y/N. What would I do without you?”
“You’d be dead without me,” you say, incredibly seriously, and it makes Joshua laugh again. His eyes are still a little puffed up, but he beams at you, all full of life, and it makes you grin too.
“You’re totally right,” he says, and leans over to peck you on the cheek. “I love you.”
You smile, taking hold of his chin and bringing him down to press a longer kiss to his lips. “I love you more.”
Joshua quirks a grin at that, kissing your forehead for good measure before going back to the bread. “Let’s not start that argument again. Eat your pancakes, sweetheart, before they get cold.”
You look over at him as he busies himself making yet more food, and it makes you a little dizzy, really, just how much Joshua loves you. And how much you love him in return. Even when he’s doing cartwheels in his head and insisting he’s doing them in real life.
“Hey, now you’re all better, you can do those cartwheels you kept wanting to do.”
“Really? Should I?”
“Yeah! I bet I can do them better though.”
“Oh, you’re on.”
fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @raevyng @isabellah29
#fairyhaos.works#k-labels#svt#seventeen#joshua#seventeen fic#joshua fic#svt fic#svt joshua#svt x reader#joshua x reader#joshua hong#hong jisoo#joshua x you#seventeen x you#joshua x y/n#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x reader#seventeen joshua#seventeen jisoo#svt jisoo#seventeen joshua hong#seventeen hong jisoo#svt joshua hong#svt hong jisoo#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#joshua fluff#joshua imagines#seventeen imagines
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[ 💿 ] . . . TAPE 3
말을 걸까 말까 한참 고민들이 막 / 머릿속에 자꾸 엉켜 / 같이 마시려고 했던 커피는 벌써 / 이미 두 잔째 비워
☁️ "falling for u" by seventeen
being loved by joshua hong means to be loved as if you were royalty. you are number one for him in everything, there is no person more important to him than you and there is nothing he wouldn't do for you. and the best part of it all? joshua doesn't even realize how down bad he is for you because treating you like a princess/prince comes naturally to him, as if he was born for this very purpose. his warm glances and gentle caresses of his hands are reserved for you only, they are like a secret that binds you together.
being loved by joshua hong means having your comfort person, because that's exactly what shua is. being with him is like being in your comfort bubble - you don't have to do anything specific, you could just be sitting in silence on the couch, each doing something different, but his mere presence makes you feel so safe and loved. one little smile or kiss on your cheek makes you forget all your troubles, even if only for a moment.
being loved by joshua hong means having a partner in crime. he is the person you can always count on to prank your friends or do other things that others would consider stupid or childish. you don't even have to finish your thought and joshua immediately says that he wants to be part of whatever you want to do. sometimes you feel like little mischievous children, doing the weirdest shit, but you never feel alone in it - joshua is always by your side.
being loved by joshua hong feels like blooming flowers in spring, like a warm breeze while walking under a cherry blossom, like a warm touch of a loved one that expresses more than a thousand words, like children's laughter full of innocence and sincere joy.
"i would not wish any companion in the world but you, nor can imagination from a shape, besides yourself, to like of."
- william shakespeare, the tempest
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw
#[💿] - tapes#seventeen#seventeen x reader#svt reactions#seventeen carat#seventeen fluff#seventeen kpop#seventeen reactions#seventeen x you#seventeen imagines#svt fluff#seventeen reaction#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x oc#svt joshua#boyfriend joshua#joshua#joshua hong#joshua x reader#hong jisoo#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua imagines#joshua reaction#joshua fic#joshua scenarios#seventeen angst#joshua fluff#joshua angst#svt imagines
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seventeen reacts to you wanting cuddles: vocal unit ver. *₊°。 ❀°。
a/n: i was looking back at some of my posts and i wanted to finish up some series too! also also thank you for 1.5k of you guys !! still so happy that this account continues to grow <3 hope y’all like this
hhu vers. | pu vers.
jeonghan:
◘ i feel like he has a sixth sense specifically for when you start to feel a little needy
◘ will annoyingly and purposefully avoid you to a certain extent to try make you say what you want out loud
◘ it’s a lazy sunday but suddenly he’s on his feet and doing one thing before another just to keep himself busy
◘ meanwhile, you’re on the couch that’s feeling a little too lonely without him
◘ “hannie?” you call out as he’s rearranging your bookshelf (???)
◘ will give you the most innocent questioning look, “do you need something, love?”
◘ but you’d feel guilty if you made him stop being so productive
◘ “not really, but um, you think you’ll be done cleaning soon?”
◘ “hm, i don’t know, i think out plates need rearranging too” (he has literally never cared about your plates before. he uses the same bowl for almost everything)
◘ he notices your disappointed pout as he walks over to your kitchen as you grab a pillow to hug instead
◘ he’s in the kitchen for about 2 minutes after that before he gives in and joins you on the couch
◘ takes the pillow out of your arms and pulls you into his chest, “sorry for teasing, but you look cute when you’re pouty”
◘ you can try to push him away but he won’t let you lol
joshua:
◘ would NEVER make you wait on something if he could help it
◘ he’s so welcoming that you could really just ask him directly
◘ “josh, could we cuddle?”
◘ “of course, darling” he’s smiling and already pulling you close to him in his strong arms
◘ he’s just so warm and you love the way his hand has this habit of soothingly rubbing up and down your back
◘ it’s really relaxing when his hand finds its way into your hair to give your scalp a light massage too
woozi:
◘ he finally finds the hoodie that he’s been missing
◘ he comes home to see you napping on the couch with it on. but what he’s surprised to notice is that you’re sort of hugging yourself and clutching the hoodie
◘ “this can’t be good for your hands” he murmurs, crouching down to gently release your grip on his hoodie
◘ even though he was trying to be as gentle as possible, the movement causes you slightly wake up
◘ “you’re home?” you mumble
◘ he chuckles at your state, “i am, but why are you holding onto this so tightly? your hands might get a cramp”
◘ “mm cuddles... you weren’t home.. this smells like you” you yawned, eyes still not even open
◘ “i can’t believe i left my baby alone like this” he sighs, “cmon, i’ll make up some cuddles right now”
◘ after some shuffling on the couch, he lays down so that you can bury yourself into his chest. jihoon smiles when you wrap a leg around him too, fully clinging to him
◘ he knows you’ve fallen asleep again at some point and he kisses the top of your head, mentally promising to come home a little earlier more often
dokyeom:
◘ 90% of the time it’s him asking or initiating cuddles with you
◘ so his heart gets so happy when you do initiate it (not that it’s rare that you do. he’s really not keeping track)
◘ when you tug at his sleeve to pull him towards you, or when you start to lean into him more, he already knows what you want and he’s more than willing to give in
◘ there’s a giddy “hi baby” and you can hear his smile in his voice as he pulls you flush against him
◘ literally the warmest person ever
seungkwan:
◘ gets so blushy when you get needy, but he kind of loves it
◘ “come here” you tell him, but your voice is too gentle for it to be considered a command. your hand may be tugging his hoodie but your words are tugging his heart, how dare you!
◘ “what’s this?” he’ll ask even though he already knows and his body is already getting in position to embrace you back
◘ “just want you here” you tell him and he’s a weak man
◘ “of course, my love” he replies, letting you pull him as close as you want
#svt#Seventeen#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#woozi x reader#dokyeom x reader#seungkwan x reader#jeonghan x you#woozi x you#joshua x you#dokyeom x you#seungkwan x you#jeonghan x y/n#joshua x y/n#woozi x y/n#dokyeom x y/n#seungkwan x y/n#seventeen fluff#seventeen hcs#seventeen headcanons#svt vocal unit
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Seventeen Fic Rec's
(CONTAINS SMUT AND MATURE SUBJECT MATTER)
(Bold title means favorite)
(UPDATED: December 4th, 2023)
OT13
In Pursuit of Wedded Bliss (Updated Masterlist) (A Seventeen Regency!AU Series) @fantasyescapes17
seventeen fic recommendations
Kim Mingyu
In Soft Hands | Part 2 (Mingyu) @beahae (SingleDad!Mingyu x DaycareTeacher!Reader(f))
what’s your number?; kmg @nevernonline (synposis: after finding an online article about the number of sexual partners a woman should have, your day with your neighbor turns into him being lucky number eighteen. paring/s: model! mingyu x afab! reader, ft. little brother! chan.)
again and again ⟢(exes, fake dating, mutual pining, idol!gyu, vet!reader, mild angst, fluff, smut) @lovelyhan
creep (Halloween, ghost!mingyu, serial killer!mingyu, etc…) @smileysuh
Aphrodite (smut, friends to lovers, established relationship, fluff at the beginning) @highvern
Covert Desires (spy!mingyu x assasin!reader (fem!reader themes: spy au, mafia, enemies to lovers, fake marriage, mutual pining, spies, angst, fluff, killing) @etherealyoungk
Slowly; All At Once (fluff, best friends to lovers with Mingyu, boyfriend material!Mingyu, slight angst.) @gyuwoncheol
Hits Different (...'cause it's you) (1) (brother's best friend!au, brother!seokmin, fluff, angst, smut) @gyuswhore
His Smile(smut, fluff, slowburn, fake dating!au) @angelwonie
Parties, Yachts and Wishful Thinking (enemies to lovers, reader and Mingyu are rich, Mingyu is kind of an asshole but so is reader, parties, mentions of reader crushing on Wonwoo, drinking, cursing, tennis, yachts and pure filth) @ithinkilikeit-reactions
Other Mingyu recs @novalpha
we don’t usually hold hands (m) || kmg & reader (angst, fluff, smut, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, sort-of-mean!oc, nice guy!mingyu, emotionally constipated!oc honestly) @gyukult
kim mingyu’s (unhelpful) guide to losing your virginity (smut, fluff, humor, college au, best friends to lovers au, friends with benefits au) @shuaflix
the very first night. (exes to lovers, roommates!au | romance, angst, smut) Link works on pc and through my reblog i think
OVER MY HEAD (brother'sbestfriend!mingyu, fratboy!mingyu, pining, friends to lovers, angst (only a little), reader's a chronic overthinker, slow burn, smut, f reader, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, wonwoo's kinda absent </3, crying (blame mingyu), etc.) @hannieehaee
it’s all fun and games (mingyu x female reader ) @dontflailmenow
Hong Joshua (Jisoo)
Loverboy (regency era romance, historical, drama, slow burn, angst.) @starlightxsvt
cranberry concoctions (bartender!joshua x f!reader) @onlyhuis
Mr (not) so perfectly fine (Joshua Hong x Fem! Reader, not super relevant to the plot but, this is a Non-Idol AU, exes to exes with benefits, elements of angst) @hwanghyunjinenthusiast
the devil wears baby blue (mut (minors PLS dni!), strangers to fucking lol) @onlyseokmins
Virgin Killer (cheerleader!reader, nerd!shua, virgin!shua, he’s kinda cold in this but is lowkey still a soft boi, drinking, teasing, jealousy, reader has a little bit of a corruption kink, loss of virginity, oral sex (f and m receiving), unprotected sex, riding, multiple creampies, overstimulation) @wonusite
isohel (all time joshua fav) (slowburn, modern royalty au, angst, fluff) @toruro
mr. nice guy (, neighbor!joshua, joshua's muscles deserve their own tag tbh, oral (f receiving), alcohol consumption (NOT drunk sex), petnames (sweetheart mostly :pp), biting, spit kink, unedited as alway) @toruro
eyes meeting, hearts apart ⟢ (; bartender!reader, requited unrequited love, immense pining, angst, flowers, slow burn, smut (MINORS DNI)) @lovelyhan
Jeon Wonwoo
Jeon’s Anatomy - Cast (surgeon au) @hansols-yoda-boxers
Blown up love (gaming is all fun and... well, games, until you start crushing on the only person that takes pity on you and saves you from mobs.) @starsstuddedsky
I found love in your smile (doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc) @wonlouvre
wonwoo reading list / fic recs part 3 ! @jeonride
meet cute of the century (meet cute, strangers to lovers, pining, discourse abt being an idol as a career, mild angst, smut) @lovelyhan
Licentious (babysitter au, cheating au, smut) @wonusite
to build a home (idol!husband! jeon wonwoo x actress!afab!reader) @tomodachiii
X + Y = YOU AND I ||( jeon wonwoo academic rival!wonwoo x fem!reader) @angelwonie
yoon jeonghan
just one day (fluff // angst // nonidol!au // brother's best friend // fake dating!au // they're idiots lmao // not edited nor proofread so pls bear w me lol // cursing and. two? kissing scenes.) @wonwoonlightligh
to live again (ime travel!au, childhood friends to lovers!au, slow burn, angst, some fluff, some humor) @viastro I WAS CRYING PLS READ
Pathetic Series @leejihoonownsmyhearthoonownsmyheart
Jeonghan’s Guide to Insurance Fraud (And Falling in Love) (fluff, angst, non-idol au, elementary school teacher!jeonghan, f2L, fake relationship) @starsstuddedsky
xu minghao
✧ the letter (slowburn, fluff, angst, childhood f2l) @toruro
✧ flight of the stars (mut (18+ / mdni), f1 au, brief high school au, angst, fluff) @toruro
✧ oh my! @toruro
fixer upper (s2f2l. “beg” minghao. LOTS OF PLOT with eventual smut. slow and i mean SLOW burn. some member slander(affectionate),) @seungkwansphd
Glacial Pace (fake dating au, friends to lovers, fluff, smut) @wonusite
To Keep You Warm @idyllic-ghost
Kwon Soon-young
My Best Friend's Mother (is the One For Me) — ksy (milf chaser!soonyoung, milf!reader) @rubyreduji
driving lessons for dummies (fluff, humor, smut, strangers to lovers au, college au) @shuaflix FAV ATM XD
be sweet (prince!hoshi x princess!reader) @heartkyeom
charity f*ck (virgin guy who lives with his parents!soonyoung, he’s not shy but he is very clumsy, a lot of texting so be prepared for that format for a lil bit (THIS IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA AU), facetime-sex, real life sex) @ncteez
#seventeen x reader#seventeen#svt#mingyu#kim mingyu#seventeen fic#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen series#joshua hong smut#joshua x y/n#hong jisoo smut#hong jisoo#wonwoo smut#wonwoo#jeonghan x y/n#yoon jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan#minghao#xu minghao#the8#minghao x reader#minghao fluff#minghao smut#mingyu x reader#hoshi#kwon soonyoung#soonyoung x reader
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彡 my days won’t end without you. — hong joshua
notes ๑ yn & svt idol!au. ever since you and joshua have started dating, he found it weird leaving work without you.
genre ๑ fluff
warnings ๑ non
word count ๑ 0.9k
from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3
“what do you want to eat tonight?” joshua whispered.
he came to visit you as per usual just outside your practice room. since you two have became an item, as days go by he becomes clingier and clingier. you two have started to be seen as hybe’s married couple and you two couldn’t disagree either. you two had a shared apartment and bickered like a married couple, the only thing missing was a ring on your finger.
and joshua would do anything to see you in between you and his breaks even if it’s just for a few seconds. jeonghan jokes that they should just make seventeen and your group’s practice rooms right beside each other.
earlier, he had messaged you saying he was gonna pass by your practice room which was really more of a “come outside i miss you.” demand, but to his surprise you were already outside. he nonchalantly skipped over to you but still maintained a distance. however the smile plastered on his face instantly turned into worry when he saw your exhausted expression. he didn’t even need to ask if you’re okay, he already knew the answer.
he’s been an idol long enough to understand why you looked so down. but most of all, he knew you and how strict you were with yourself when it came to your performances so as he saw you, he easily assumed you were having trouble with the choreography to your new song or your recording in the studio wasn’t satisfactory to you.
if he could hug you right now, he would.
but he can’t, thus he relied on cheering you up verbally and asked you what do you want for dinner, just to lighten up your mood and so that you’d have something to look forward to!
“what do you want to eat tonight?” joshua whispered.
“am i even going to make it out of this building before today ends?”
the day already ended actually, it was currently 12:41am, you were just too tired to have a sense of time. joshua took a peek to the clock at the end of the hallway and bit his lip not wanting to make your mood more foul.
“even if you go home at 5am or 10am, you’ll be going home with me,” he squinted his eyes showing his seriousness.
“no shua, go home, i know you’re already done with practice,” you leaned on the wall beside you to relieve yourself from carrying your tired self up.
“i can wait yn, how much longer could it possibly take?”
“i can’t get this part of the choreo down i might be here all night,” you crossed your arms, closing your eyes out of exhaustion. you were worried about how you were being perceived in joshua’s eyes but at the same time, you were too drained to give mind to it.
joshua stayed quiet. he understood the situation and why you felt this way so he really wasn’t bothered, what bothered him was how it was affecting you.
“i’m sorry,” you blurted after the silence lasted too long.
joshua took a step forward and gave a reassuring smile, “yn, don’t be sorry, it’s your job and come on, i’m your senior, you think i don’t know how tiring practice can be?” he tried to convince you he understood and that you weren’t being a burden. joshua was never one to care about treatment of juniors to seniors but he was pulling that card today.
“just do what you have to now, when you’re done, we’ll go home together and i’ll cook your favourite food. if you still feel like being a workaholic, we can go through your choreography together, how does that sound?” he tilted his head with a sweet smile
“wow, ‘go through the choreography together?’ when did you join the performance unit?”
joshua was apalled despite knowing it was a joke, “i’m seventeen i am basically the performance unit!”
your corners of your lips slowly turned into a smile as you laughed. internally, joshua felt accomplished.
“so, we’re getting out this building together, at the same time?” joshua wanted a clear answer.
“i’ll finish up as fast as i can,” you gave an indirect yes.
“that’s my yn, but also just take your time, i’ll wait.”
you bit your lip and nodded before turning to get back to practice. but just before that, joshua tugged your shirt stopping you in your tracks. as he leaned forward, his mouth levelled to your ear and there he whispered, three sweet words.
“i love you.”
you two have already said it so many times yet hearing it now, it caught you off guard but you quickly brushed it off, “see you later hong jisoo.”
“you government named me?!” he quietly screeched.
you opened the door to your practice room and stuck your tongue out, teasing him.
his eyes were wide, not out of anger but out of shock. when did you learn to get so cheeky? in reality you’ve just been hanging out with him too much.
he placed his hands in his pockets and walked away chuckling to himself. he may have told you to take your time but he really couldn’t wait for your practice to end.
you’ve heard joshua say i love you so many times, yet today, it stuck in your head making practice ten times harder than it already was.
but needless to say, you can’t wait to get over with practice and leave this building with the one you love.
#🐚☆#📢aya wrote!#caratsland#joshua#hong joshua#hong jisoo#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua fluff#hong joshua x reader#hong jisoo x reader#hong jisoo fluff#seventeen#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen drabble#seventeen imagines#svt#svt x reader#svt fluff#svt drabble#svt imagines
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strawberry cake
h.js
based on this request (+ a few changes)
synopsis — maybe your obsession with strawberries is getting out of hand but joshua dropping the last piece of your favorite strawberry cake makes your anger justified
pairing — joshua x gn!reader
genre/s — smau, non idol au, reader is kind of a menace but it's okay, hoshi likes chaos
warnings — joshua calls reader babe? idk lmk if I miss anything!
a/n — changed it a bit from joshua paying for the cake to him making it bc I really wanted to use that picture of seungcheol 😭 anyways I would love to know your opinions on this!
#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen smau#caratsland#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#svt joshua#joshua hong#joshua seventeen#seventeen joshua#hong jisoo#joshua#joshua x reader#joshua x y/n#joshua x you#—nr.requests
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not according to plan | hjs (teaser)
summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his.
pairing: joshua x f.reader
genre: fake dating, strangers to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut
rating: explicit (in the full fic), minors DNI
word count: ~1.1k in this teaser (full fic ~22k)
notes: johnny suh as the ex (sorry!), also includes other idols not in seventeen solely as face claims, there's a heavy focus on the fake dating, mentions of food & drink, warnings to be added to the final fic
fic post date: friday, april 26th (full fic here)
a/n: i started this legit months ago as kind of a joke, talking about it with @shuadotcom but it's finally done (and a lot longer than i anticipated).
thank you to: @wonwussy & @kwanisms who read over this for me (too long ago), and to @cheolism @wooahaeproductions @hannieween, & sj for all the brainstorming help along the way.
tagging: @aaniag @gyuminusone @crepecakeu
if you'd like to be tagged in this fic (or any of my fics), comment, click here for my tag list, or send an ask 💕
You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghan’s friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, he’s somewhat new to the area, doesn’t know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. There’s no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but he’s not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what he’s walking into.
Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when they’ll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because “meeting him for the first time at a wedding is gauche” and we wouldn’t want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesn’t actually exist since you haven’t posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesn’t seem to allay her suspicions, though.
Then, there’s the fact that you’re actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldn’t exactly press the point. Not when you’re planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your ex’s wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you don’t know what Joshua looks like. Don’t know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that he’ll already be at the table when you get there.
It works.
When you give the reservation name at the host stand, you’re immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. It’s not even that you struggle around new people, this is just…well, it’s a lot. It’s out of anyone’s comfort zone. Whatever you’re expecting, it’s not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks.
His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. That’s all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While you’re appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you.
In one fluid motion, he’s standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, there’s nothing you can do. You’re completely captivated.
“You must be Joshua,” you say. Brilliant, you think. That’s obvious.
“It’s nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,” he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you.
“I feel like he hardly told me about you,” you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.
“Then why did you agree to go out with me?” Joshua asks.
“Go out with…is this a date?” The question comes tumbling out.
Joshua’s eyes widen in genuine confusion. “Is it not?”
“What, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?”
A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how he’s somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information.
In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact that’s hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks he’s crafty and isn’t going to come out and tell this man what you’re really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that “offhand comment” was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what he’s getting into. Rookie move.)
Now you’re in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans you’ve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. It’s just…well, you’re absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. It’s just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.
To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didn’t actually realize it was a date. It’s hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that he’s absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that you’re not actually looking for something right now. Interesting.
“So that’s the whole thing and now that I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you, I’m sure you’ll understand if we never see each other after tonight,” you finish.
“How am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we don’t see each other after tonight?” Joshua wonders.
let me know if you want to be tagged when i post the full fic next week 💕 (and what you think so far)
#joshua smut#joshua fluff#joshua angst#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua fic#joshua fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#svt x reader#svt x you#svt smut#svt fluff#svt angst#svthub#kvanity#joshua imagines#joshua scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#svt imagines#svt scenarios
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congrats on 4k!!! it is very well deserved & i hope u reach another huge milestone 🫶🏾 for sleepover week i would just like to bring up husband joshua from sundress szn and ask what was their honeymoon like 👀
thank you so so much! omg husband joshua i'm beyond excited to visit him again
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~1.1k
Warnings: cockwarming, unprotected sex, marriage kink, petnames (honey, baby, wife, good girl), creampie
Reader Notes: has breasts and a vagina
Joshua wakes before you, his face buried in your neck and his body wrapped around yours. The sound of crashing waves travels through the open windows, as does the full force of the sun. He blinks slowly, raising a hand against the bright light flooding the room and scrunching his face when he sees the time. It’s early still, and he has no idea why he’s not sleeping. He kept you up late last night, christening nearly every surface in the hotel suite before finally letting you pass out after round who knows what.
He’s exhausted, his body worn out from the sex and his mind worn out from the wedding, and he can definitely feel it. He feels something else though: heat. Settled deep in his stomach, burning him up from the inside out, getting worse and worse the longer you-
Oh. That’s why he’s awake. You’re grinding into him, your wet cunt searing hot around his hard dick. He forgot he fell asleep inside you last night and his cock feels so sensitive, but your pussy is so fucking good, he never wants to leave.
He wakes you with a pinch to your hip and a slight thrust, murmuring a hoarse, “Morning, wife,” into your neck as you stir. You stretch, pushing back into him before you even fully wake before sleepily mumbling, “Hi, husband.”
“Mmmm, what are our plans for the day?” Joshua asks in between kisses and nibbles along your throat. He gently cups your jaw, his hand big enough to reach from ear to ear, and turns your face to the side so he has more room to work. You pretend to think, tapping your chin with a finger, sunlight reflecting off your ring, before pushing into him again and whispering, “This?”
He laughs into your neck, thrusting back and feeling his cock twitch when you giggle, making your sinfully tight walls contract around him. His head drops to your shoulder as he shudders, swearing quietly into your skin before wrapping his arms around your waist and bucking his hips hard against yours. You’re so fucking hot and wet around him, still fit him so perfectly even after he’s been stretching you out all night, and he has the sudden urge to thank you. To kiss you and hold you and fuck you and love you forever. And now that you’re his wife(!), those are all things he can do.
Joshua doesn’t think he’s ever felt so giddy while having sex before, but there’s a first time for everything and he loves having his firsts with you. He wishes all of them were, but he knows that all the rest will be, and that’s enough. He’s getting strangely emotional, somehow just now fully processing what yesterday meant. What it means.
That you’re his and he’s yours forever, and everyone knows thanks to the rings on your fingers and your hyphenated last names.
“Love you so much, honey,” Joshua groans, releasing your face and pleading roughly, “Kiss me, need you to-“
You turn as best you can, kissing him and swallowing his words with a whine of your own as he slides in and out of you. He’s getting so deep inside, his dick bottoming out and his hips touching yours with every thrust, but he wishes he could get deeper. He wishes he could make a home inside you and live there, though he supposes making a home with you is just as good, if not even better.
He’s getting close and he can sense that you are too, pulls you that much tighter into his chest before sliding one hand down between your legs to get you there before he does. All it takes to push you over the edge are your clit under his thumb and some words of encouragement (“Is my wife gonna cum for me? C’mon, I know you can do it, baby.”). The clenching of your cunt and your sweet, sweet sounds are enough to push him over too, and as his hot cum paints your walls, the only thing he can do is hold on tight and moan, “Love you, love you, love you, love you,” into your open mouth.
His eyes are closed but he can feel you clinging to his arms as you come down, breathily echoing his love you’s and intentionally clenching your inner muscles just to be a little evil. He fucks into you in retaliation and opens his eyes, realizing that… he’s still hard.
Fuck, but he came so much, he thinks, then wonders if you’d be up for another round. You met his thrust just now, even braced your hands on the bed to do so, but he figures he should ask, just to be safe.
“Wanna go again?” Joshua whispers, pulling back just far enough for his eyes to catch yours. They’re gleaming, and you’re smiling that happy little bitten back smile, and he is so in love.
And so, so hard.
You nod, whispering back, “Absolutely, I do,” before he can even tell you to use your words. You really are his good girl.
“On your back? I wanna look at you,” he breathes, struggling to keep his hips from bucking into you without his permission. His impatient body can wait until his wife is situated.
He loosens his hold on you to let you wiggle onto your back, gathering you back up in his arms as soon as you get comfortable on the duvet. Missionary may be seen as a boring position, but Joshua thinks it’s one of the most intimate ways you can be with someone. He’s face to face with you, chest to chest, and he can look right into your eyes like he always loves to do. This is how he first made love to you, and it only makes sense to make love to you like this on your first day as husband and wife.
He waits for you to spread your legs for him, waits for you to grow impatient and wrap them around his waist so you can pull him into you, and only when you throw your head back and whine, “Joshua!” does he line up and slide home. The warm wetness that engulfs him is blinding, intoxicating, new and exciting even as he fucks you for the nth time, and he knows he’ll never get enough.
Good thing you married him, he thinks, thrusting just a bit harder, just a bit deeper, knowing that he never needs to get enough.
Find my masterlist here
Part 4
#joshua smut#joshua scenarios#joshua imagines#joshua x reader#joshua x fem!reader#joshua x y/n#joshua x you#seventeen imagines#seventeen fic#seventeen series#seventeen smut#seventeen scenarios#seventeen drabbles#✨emily answers✨#✨emily writes✨#husband!joshua
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Thot hour for the day, Shua being a slight mean dom!, someone who isn’t jealous easily but boy oh boy when he does get jealous? 😮💨😮💨😮💨 he also gives mes a “look at me”vibe because he loves your eyes and your expressions but like emphasis on loving your eyes
oh op you're crazy
18+ (minors dni), mirror sex (I had to sorry), hoshi is mentioned lol
“You enjoy the attention?” joshua whispers in your ear.
It started innocent. A casual meet up with the boys. 2hours into the meetup and joshua was slowly loosing his mind.
He knew you were unaware of how hoshi was looking at you. He doesnt blame hoshi, you were beautiful as fuck but something in him felt uneasy. He couldnt tell if you were genuinely unaware of hoshi’s advances to you or were you just not doing anything to stop him.
Joshua usually didn't get jealous, your relationship was stable enough for him to know you'd not cheat on him but god, he had to prove you're his.
So now he has you pressed up against his chest while he splits your open with his cock. He's glad he listened to you when you suggested to get a mirror near the bed because god you look so pretty.
He could see all of you in the mirror. How your thighs shake everytime he thrusts deeper, your jaw hanging open and your eye, God, your eyes. Joshua loved your eyes. He loved how sparkly they get when youre excited and happy. He also loved how he could see your pupils blown out as he fucks you hard, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
“Look at me" he forces your face to look in the mirror. The whole sight so erotic it makes you whimper. he holds your chin in place, making eye contact through the mirror.
“Only i can fuck you like this”
#seventeen smut#from : sharonxdevi#seventeen#svt smut#svt#svt x reader#svt x you#kara.asks#svt x y/n#seventeen joshua#joshua#joshua smut#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#hong jisoo#jisoo smut#hong jisoo smut#kara.thotz
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Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong
Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au.
Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life.
Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts....
Word Count: 18.6k
Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours.
Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any)
Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it!
Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism
Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3
[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]
Unknown Number:
[3:05 AM] Hey!
It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)
What do you think?
You:
[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???
You got the wrong number!
Unknown Number:
[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.
You gave me your number at the party :(
[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.
Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!
The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.
"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.
8 AM. The time glares back at you.
You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.
Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.
Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.
Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.
Hyerin Calling....
You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.
"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.
"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.
You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.
As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.
And you're left alone.
And you're used to it.
The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.
You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.
Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.
"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.
"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.
"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."
He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.
"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.
Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.
Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.
He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.
Joshua:
[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.
Stranger:
[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.
Joshua:
A heavy sleeper it seems lol.
Stranger:
[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.
Joshua:
[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.
Stranger:
[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(
"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.
"I am.", he responds right away.
"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.
"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.
"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.
"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.
Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."
"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.
"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.
"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."
Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"
"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.
And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."
A series of groans are heard.
You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.
It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.
Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.
Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.
With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.
Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.
Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.
You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.
Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.
"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.
You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.
"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."
"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.
Sundays are no more Fundays.
Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.
And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.
Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.
"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.
"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.
"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."
"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."
"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.
"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"
You shake your head and take out your phone.
You:
[9 PM] You there?
Unknown Number :
[9:01 PM] Hey!
Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.
[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.
Do you like parties?
Unknown Number:
[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.
What about you?
You:
[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.
I'm that miserable wallflower :(
Unknown Number:
[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.
You :
[9:09 PM] Maybe....
Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.
There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.
"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.
"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.
Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"
"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"
Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.
"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.
A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."
"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.
"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."
"Tried talking to your mom about this?"
"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.
"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.
"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."
Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.
Pouring out is always better than bottling in.
Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."
Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.
If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.
It's Joshua.
It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.
It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.
Mingyu is perceptive.
Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.
"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."
"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."
Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.
Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.
"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."
"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.
"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."
As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.
The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.
"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.
Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.
"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.
You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"
"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.
Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.
"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.
You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."
He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.
Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.
Unknown Number:
[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day ಠ_ಠ
You:
[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.
There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.
Unknown Number:
[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.
You:
[3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.
Unknown Number:
[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.
You:
[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
Unknown Number:
[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...
Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.
"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.
He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."
You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."
"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.
You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.
"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.
Joshua sees red.
He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.
You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.
Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.
"Don't you think he's handsome?"
Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.
"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.
"Duh, who else your partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.
You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."
Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."
You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."
"As if I'd listen to you."
"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."
Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.
You sigh in relief and take out your phone.
You:
[4 PM] Whatcha doing'
Unknown Number:
[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...
You:
[4:02 PM] Lol why?
Unknown Number:
[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.
You:
[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.
Unknown Number:
What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.
You:
[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.
I feel like no one understands me as well.
Unknown Number:
We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.
So may I know your name?
You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.
You:
[4:08 PM] I have an idea.
We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.
We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.
What say?
Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.
Joshua:
[4:10 PM] Let's that do.
Anonymous, saved.
Anonymous :
[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)
Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.
He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.
"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"
He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.
He remembers the day he lost his father.
He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.
He remembers --
"Hey, are you okay?"
Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.
He simply nods and faces the wall.
"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."
"Do you have spare clothes?"
Joshua turns to face you and nods.
"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.
"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"
"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."
Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.
You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.
Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.
Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.
"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"
He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.
You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.
He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.
"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."
You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.
"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.
Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.
Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"
"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.
"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."
The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.
"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"
You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.
Must be his friends from previous school, you think.
"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.
You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.
With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.
A smile creeps upon your face.
Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.
And you freeze.
Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.
You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.
"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.
"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her."
That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.
You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."
Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"
"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."
Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.
"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."
You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."
"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.
"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.
"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."
Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."
Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."
Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.
Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."
Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."
"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."
Mingyu and Seji loose the match.
While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.
"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"
Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.
"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."
Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.
He finds you.
"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.
"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."
"Go ahead."
Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"
"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.
"Is she single?"
The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.
"Why do you wanna know that?"
Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."
"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.
"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."
"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.
Joshua quietly cowers away.
"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."
"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."
Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.
Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.
Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.
"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"
Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."
"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."
"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."
"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.
"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.
"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."
"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."
"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."
You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.
But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.
"Fine. I'll go with you."
Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.
"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"
Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."
"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.
"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"
That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."
"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."
"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.
"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."
Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."
Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.
"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."
"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."
Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--
"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.
He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."
"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."
Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.
"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."
Mingyu grins from ear to ear.
"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says.
You don't like where this conversation is going.
"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?"
"It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone.
"Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy."
You are tired of the same old conversation.
"I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!"
"We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair.
"Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye."
Your parents look at each other solemnly.
You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now.
Because everything was going wrong.
First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for.
Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.
You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.
You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.
The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.
"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"
You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.
"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"
"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.
Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.
"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."
"Y/N--"
"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."
"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"
You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.
Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.
And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.
Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.
"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.
"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.
"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.
You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"
Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.
"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"
He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.
And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.
He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.
But your rummaging through your bag.
"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.
"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."
"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"
"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.
"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."
Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.
"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."
You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.
"How did you manage to get all these?"
"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."
Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."
"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.
"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."
Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.
You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.
Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.
Hyerin calling ...
Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.
"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."
"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"
What does she mean by that, you thought.
It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.
"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."
Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.
You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.
When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.
It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.
Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.
Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.
Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.
"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.
He's enchanted.
Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.
"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.
With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.
He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.
"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.
"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"
Joshua doesn't step back.
So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.
But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.
You think he has kissable lips.
Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.
You think his cologne smells nice.
He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.
You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.
He thinks you have kissable lips.
So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.
He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.
He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.
You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.
He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.
"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."
You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.
It's awkward and suffocating.
You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.
"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.
You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.
"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."
You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.
But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"
Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.
You and Joshua are left behind.
Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.
"Do you want to go there?"
Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.
"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."
"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."
Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.
"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.
"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.
You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."
You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.
When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot for some reason.
You gulp nervously and look away.
When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.
Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.
You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.
No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.
You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.
Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.
But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.
You:
[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?
The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.
Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.
"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."
You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.
"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.
"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.
"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.
Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.
You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.
You think he's startled because he's clueless.
He is startled because of the proximity between you both.
"W-What are you doing?"
"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."
"Wait what?"
"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."
Joshua blinks.
You wait.
Joshua is still confused.
"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.
"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."
"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."
Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.
"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.
Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.
Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.
"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.
"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.
Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."
Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.
That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.
Anonymous:
[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?
Joshua:
[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.
Do you like someone?
Anonymous:
[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???
I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.
Joshua:
[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?
Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.
Anonymous:
[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?
We're really in same boat lol.
Hope we can sort it out.
Joshua:
[10:50 PM] Touché.
Detention classes are going to end today.
You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.
"You're amazing you know."
A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.
"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.
"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."
Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.
Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.
Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.
You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.
"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.
"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.
Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.
You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.
"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."
Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."
You sigh in relief.
Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"
You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.
"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"
Joshua agrees in a beat.
Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.
"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."
You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.
You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.
And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.
"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.
"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"
"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."
Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"
Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.
"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."
"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"
You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.
"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."
Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"
You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.
"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."
Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.
Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.
"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."
Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.
"Tell me about you, Josh."
Joshua finds you staring at back him.
He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."
You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.
"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."
Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.
But you only caress his back.
"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."
He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.
"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."
"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."
Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.
"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."
What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.
Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."
"I'll try.", you smile at him.
"I'll try as well." he echoes you.
When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.
Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,
"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"
Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.
When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.
Joshua.exe has stopped working.
It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.
Next time definitely, he promises to himself.
You:
[6:30 PM] shared a playlist
Anonymous:
[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.
You:
[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.
Anonymous:
[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.
"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.
When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"
"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.
You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.
"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"
"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"
You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."
"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."
"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."
"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."
You blink at her owlishly.
"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.
"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."
"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."
"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"
"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."
"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."
"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."
"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.
You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.
You:
[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?
Anonymous:
[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?
You:
[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....
Anonymous:
[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.
You:
[7:33 PM]
Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?
Anonymous:
[7:33 PM] Fine by me.
How are we going to recognise each other lol?
You:
[7:34 PM]
I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.
Anonymous:
[7:35 PM]
I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.
You:
[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!
Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.
He hijacks you.
"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."
Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."
"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."
Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.
Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.
You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.
As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.
"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"
Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.
"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."
Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."
"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."
Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.
You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.
"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.
"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.
You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.
"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.
Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.
"Looking for Y/N?"
He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.
Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.
"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.
Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.
Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.
"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.
She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."
"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.
She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"
Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.
"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."
Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.
"I assume you already know about her safe place."
Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.
"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."
"What do you mean by always?"
"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.
Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.
"Let me take you where she is now."
That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.
His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.
You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.
When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.
He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.
He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.
He realises that he likes you.
He likes you a lot.
"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"
Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.
He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.
Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.
Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.
You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.
You:
[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.
Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)
You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.
Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.
Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.
To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.
He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.
Joshua pushes the door, walking in.
All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.
Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.
You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.
You:
[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??
Are you stuck somewhere?
It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.
You:
[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?
Did something happen? Are you okay?
Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...
The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.
You are worried. You are exhausted.
Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.
Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.
No messages.
You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.
To get Joshua's number.
Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.
Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.
But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.
A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.
He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.
"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."
Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.
Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.
"Josh--"
"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.
You are confused and you are worried.
If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.
If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.
If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.
"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."
Next day you bump into him in the hallway.
"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.
Joshua is stoic and you notice it.
"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.
"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.
"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."
You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"
"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"
Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.
But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.
"I just want to get your number."
There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.
A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."
You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.
"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."
"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.
"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.
You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.
Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.
Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.
Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.
"Mrs. Hong?"
"Y/N?"
You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"
"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"
"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."
"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.
"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.
"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."
You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.
"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."
You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."
Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.
"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."
You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.
"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.
"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."
You and Hyerin grimace at his words.
"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.
Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.
"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."
You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.
"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.
Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."
"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."
"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.
"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."
"Keep us posted Y/N."
You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.
Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.
Nothing seems to work out for you.
You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.
You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.
Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.
Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.
Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?
Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.
You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.
Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!
"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."
Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.
You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.
Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."
Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.
"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."
As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.
Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.
Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.
You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.
You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.
"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."
You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.
You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.
"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.
Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.
"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."
Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"
"I'm not lying --"
"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.
"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.
"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"
"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."
"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.
"Do what?"
"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"
You freeze on hearing that name.
"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"
"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."
You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.
"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."
Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.
You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."
You only say that much before walking past him.
The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.
"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.
"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"
"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."
"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"
"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"
"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.
"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"
Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.
"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."
"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."
Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.
A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.
Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.
Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.
Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.
Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.
He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.
But words once said cannot be taken back.
Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.
His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.
"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"
He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.
A Jack of Fools.
You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.
You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.
"What happened?"
He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.
"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."
Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.
On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.
That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.
You don't notice Joshua.
"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.
Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."
You nod and wait for him to continue.
"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."
"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."
"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."
"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.
Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.
Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."
You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.
"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"
Joshua freezes.
Then he hears a sob.
"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."
You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."
Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.
Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."
"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."
Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.
"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.
But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."
Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."
"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."
Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.
But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.
Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.
"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"
Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.
"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."
Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.
"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"
Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.
It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.
"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.
Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.
Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."
Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"
"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."
Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.
"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."
"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.
"Who?", Joshua quips up.
"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."
"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.
Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.
He just wants to see you.
You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.
In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.
Joshua hopes he get paired with you.
You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.
"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."
You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.
Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.
When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.
You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.
"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.
You don't even spare him a glance.
Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"
"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."
"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"
"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."
You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."
Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.
You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."
Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.
"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."
Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.
Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.
"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."
Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.
"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."
Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."
Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.
The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."
Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.
"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"
"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."
Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.
"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"
Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.
"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.
"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.
Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.
Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.
"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"
"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."
"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."
Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.
Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.
She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.
Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."
"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."
She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."
The door slams and Joshua breathes out.
"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.
"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."
"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."
"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."
Joshua could only grimace at his words.
You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday.
First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-
Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.
From,
Your Anonymous
You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers.
Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying-
In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.
From,
Your Anonymous
This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.
Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong.
That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can.
Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.
You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.
From,
Your Anonymous.
"Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.
Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips.
The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.
One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.
Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."
You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.
"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."
Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction.
He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm, "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon."
Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?"
You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?"
Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy.
An adorable kicked puppy.
Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore--
"Y/N?"
"Yes?"
"So..."
"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time."
You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases.
Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?"
"Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!"
Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other.
"Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself."
Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again.
The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves.
He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed.
"Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?"
You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes."
His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back.
Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare."
You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second.
"I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?"
"Daisies", he answers.
"Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do."
Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him.
"Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9."
"Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look.
"What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?"
"I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you."
His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love)
"I don't have any other choice, do I?"
"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!"
Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence.
You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks.
"I can eat it myself--"
"But both of your hands are occupied."
This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you.
And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check.
You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected.
"You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N."
"No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love."
Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place.
"Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks.
You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?"
Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now.
"Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him.
"What?"
"Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again.
"What are you insinuating?"
"I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say--
"I love you, Y/N."
He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you.
"Josh..."
He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you.
"I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours."
You are rendered speechless.
But Joshua has so much to say.
"The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting."
He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey.
"You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day."
You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua.
Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house.
You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be.
You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."
It's matchday.
Joshua is nervous.
Partially because of the game, partially because of you.
When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly.
A farewell game, he thought.
The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts.
Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions.
"Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too."
"Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows.
The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.
Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey.
The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms.
As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact.
"Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game."
"Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--"
"What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!"
The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice.
Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked.
Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek.
Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs.
"It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua.
Suddenly the locker room fills with whistles, hoots and hollers.
"Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you.
"Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you.
"We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside.
"Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain."
Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!"
Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out.
Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy.
You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance.
"Hi", you giggle.
"You came...", Joshua whispers.
You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it.
Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly.
"Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer.
"Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes.
"Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows.
You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up."
Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!"
And Joshua takes it personally.
You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously.
Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him.
The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead.
Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing.
It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension.
You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line.
The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win.
The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.
Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you.
"This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward.
You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket.
The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name.
You see him. He sees you.
Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court.
Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up.
"Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily.
Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his.
You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter.
"Get a room!"
You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu.
You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down.
The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.
"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm.
"You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be.
"Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him.
"You can't do this your boyfriend!"
Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes.
"I can. I already did.", you deadpan.
"Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything.
"You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous."
Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance.
"Anonymously Mine.", you say.
"Anonymously Yours", he echoes.
Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
#svt flick - fic#svt fanfic#svt au#svt x reader#svt x you#svt x y/n#joshua#joshua hong#joshua x reader#hong jisoo#joshua x y/n#joshua x you#joshua fluff#joshua angst#seventeen au#seventeen joshua#seventeen#seventeen x y/n#seventeen fic#seventeen masterlist#svt#Joshua x oc#seventeen jisoo#Joshua ff#joshua imagines#joshua scenarios#joshua oneshot#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen oneshot
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cranberry concoctions
member | bartender!joshua x f!reader
genre | smut, a little angst & a little fluff, 1920s prohibition au, speakeasy au
word count | 4.6k
synopsis | you came to the infamous diamond glass looking for a good cocktail. instead, you found love in a hot bartender who also makes the best cosmos you’ve ever had.
warnings | reader has a vagina and breasts, alcohol consumption (drink responsibly kids), reader smokes cigarettes (only 2), big dick joshua, the sex is not historically accurate sorry, actually most of this isn't historically accurate oops, praise, some degredation, multiple orgasms, name calling/petnames (slut, whore, darling, sweetheart, baby, my lady), kinda size kink maybe (he has big hands i'm sorry i can't not mention it), creampie
notes | lowercase intended. this is part of rose's sax, settlements, & speakeasies collab! masterlist will be linked here. this fic has taken so long but it's finally finished!! thank you all for your patience!!
you slip into one of the many empty seats at the bar, placing your beaded evening bag on the counter and pulling out a cigarette with a sigh.
“what can i get you, darling?”
you glance up to see a man in a crisp white button-down, casually swiping a rag along a glass mug.
“what kinda cocktails you got?” you reply, pushing the cigarette between your teeth.
“anything you can dream up, honey.”
you pause, taking the cigarette out of your mouth to think. “how about… cranberry juice, with vodka, and triple sec? and a little lime?”
he grins. “coming right up.”
he grabs bottles from the long shelves behind him, setting them back on the counter in front of you before pulling a cocktail glass from below the bar.
you slip the cigarette back into your mouth, your eyes following his movements as you pull your lighter out of your bag. you flip the arm up and flick the wheel, creating a tall flame that ignites with a pop, and you bring it carefully up to the end of the stick.
he pushes his sleeves up, revealing a small tattoo of what looks like a diamond on the inside of his wrist. your gaze catches it for a moment before your eyes flick up to find his looking back at you.
with his sleeves rolled up, you don’t miss the way his muscles bulge against the tight cotton of his dress shirt. he tosses the container effortlessly from one hand to the other. the tendons in his wrist flex as he flips the shaker back and forth, a gleam in his eye and a confident grin on his face as the bottle twirls between his fingers. you take a long drag and give him a smile.
“cool tricks you got there,” you say, sitting back in your seat.
“i spent a year abroad at school in london,” he beams, holding the mixer high in the air and tilting it slightly to let the pink liquid fall into your glass. “picked up a thing or two.”
he tops off the drink with a lime swirl, sliding it gently across the counter. you hold your cigarette between two fingers as you lift the glass to your lips, taking a small sip.
“mm,” you nod, smiling. “ ‘s good.”
the dark room is quiet save for the light chatter from other patrons and the sultry piano music coming from the opposite side of the room. it’s late in the evening—well, by now, more like morning—and the speakeasy is mostly empty. you’re the only one at the bar, and you’re also the only one here alone, noticing the few couples scattered around the room in booths, drinking and laughing together.
you sigh and take another drag off your cigarette.
“you waitin’ on someone, sweetheart?” the bartender asks with a sly smile, tossing the rag behind the bar. “boyfriend, perhaps? or a coworker? can get their drink ready for them, if you’d like.”
you scoff, resting your hand on the counter above an ashtray. “do you often get women comin’ in here by themselves, mister?”
he leans back against the bar and crosses his arms, but the playful gleam in his eyes tells you he isn’t offended. “not as often as i get pretty ladies like yourself in here,” he flirts. “and the name’s joshua. joshua hong.”
you stick out your hand to shake his, telling him your name. “so, joshua, what do you do? other than serve fancy drinks to pretty ladies, of course,” you say, taking another sip of your cocktail. damn, that is good. your friend wasn’t lying when she said that the diamond glass had the best drinks around.
“nothin’ much,” he shrugs. “i like to sing, sometimes. but not anything special. just a hobby.” he hands you a napkin, to wipe up the drops of your drink that splashed out onto the counter when you bumped it. “what do you do when you’re not ordering fancy drinks from sexy gentlemen?”
“thanks,” you say, squinting at him as you take the napkin, the name of the speakeasy embossed on it in pretty gold lettering. “and who ever said you were a gentleman?”
he smiles. “let me take you out to dinner and i’ll show you.”
your eyes widen, though you try to hide your reaction. “is that so, mister joshua?”
“mhm. and you never answered the question.”
you huff and raise an eyebrow at him. “how ‘bout i tell you over dinner instead?”
you take another big sip of your drink and look down at your watch to check the time. “shit,” you curse under your breath.
you look up and meet joshua’s eyes, standing patiently behind the bar. “i’ve got work in the morning– er, in a coupl’a hours,” you offer in way of explanation. “gotta run.”
“i see,” he nods, his features falling into a faux-serious expression. “the mysterious work.”
“better hold me to that dinner if you wanna find out,” you reply with a laugh as you pull on your coat.
he grins. “oh, i will, darling.”
you pull your bag off the counter and go to take out some bills, but a large hand falls on your wrist and you freeze.
“on the house,” he says with a grin, letting go of your hand and sliding your empty glass across the counter. “come find me if you ever want some company, and we can set up that dinner, hm?”
you nod at him, unable to hide the hint of a smile growing on your face. “i’ll do that.”
the next time you visit the diamond glass, the place is packed.
it’s earlier in the evening this time, so you aren’t too surprised, but you didn’t think there were this many people who’d break the law to come here in search of a little fun. but, then again, isn’t that why you’re here too? a little fun, a little drinking, and hopefully a little more flirting with joshua, if you can manage to find him again.
the bar’s crowded, and you can barely manage to find a place to slip in between all the occupied stools. you crane your neck to look around, searching to see who the bartender working tonight is. this time there’s not one but two men in stiff white uniforms, handing out bottles of beer and pouring wine for the patrons at the other end of the bar. you can’t see either of their faces, so you lean against the counter and pull out a cigarette while you wait.
you’re leaning down putting your lighter away when you hear a familiar voice call your name.
“didn’t think i’d see you back here so soon,” joshua says when you look up, meeting his eyes.
“came to collect on my free dinner, of course,” you reply with what you hope is a teasing smile.
he chuckles. “well, i hate to break your heart, darling, but i’m a little busy at the moment. how ‘bout i get you a drink instead?”
“fine by me.”
“same as before?” he asks, already reaching for a glass.
you pause to put your cigarette to your lips. “sure, why not. show me more of those gentleman bartender skills you like to show off.”
he starts pouring liquor into the shaker as he continues to talk. “i’m sure i’ve got other skills you’d like a lot better than my drink mixing, sweetheart. maybe i’ll show you after that dinner we keep talkin’ about.”
you suck in a sharp gasp of air, accidentally inhaling a mouthful of smoke and sending you into a coughing fit. you grab a napkin to cover your mouth with as you struggle to regain your composure, feeling your cheeks grow hotter by the second.
joshua just smiles, clearly amused by your reaction as he slides you your finished drink. “well, don’t lose your cool now, miss, i haven’t even done anything fancy yet. gotta give me a chance to wow you like a gentleman.”
you clear your throat, hoping your voice sounds at least a little levelheaded. “how very courteous of you, mister joshua. i–”
you’re definitely about to come up with the wittiest of comebacks, is what you tell yourself before you’re interrupted by a group of flapper girls, talking loudly as they walk up to the bar.
“and that’s when i told him, ‘if you don’t stop necking on with that sob sister from the newspaper’s, we’re through!’ he really thought i wouldn’t see through that baloney, screwing that reporter and then coming home to me as if he could have us both!”
the group bursts out laughing, and joshua looks over at them, then looks back at you. “mind if i go get these ladies seated, darling? then we can finish our conversation.”
you stutter out a “sure” and he gives you a wink as he walks away. even over the ruckus of the speakeasy, you can still hear him greet the girls, and it makes you irritated for reasons you can’t explain.
“well hi there, girls! how’s the partying goin’ for you all on this fine evening, and how can i make it better?”
the chorus of flirty, drawn out “hello”’s from the group makes your stomach churn, though you have no reason to care. it’s this man’s job to flirt with customers to make an extra buck and keep this joint running. to him, you’re probably just another broad with money to throw away on booze.
you turn around to see one of the drunker girls hanging on joshua’s arm, laughing at something he’s said like he’s the funniest man on the planet. the sight is enough to push you over the edge, and you down your drink in a huff, slipping a bill under the empty glass as you walk out of the speakeasy, pretending your feelings aren’t hurt.
you wake up the next morning feeling guilty about the night before. sure, you probably did overreact, but it had been a long day at work, getting badgered by your boss for no reason other than the fact that he didn’t like having women employees in his office.
and joshua seemed like a nice man, and even if he was just trying to earn some tips, at least he was friendly.
so that night, you put on your finest dress and head back to the diamond glass, hoping for the chance to talk to him again.
but as you walk across the bar, you see that there’s only one bartender at the counter, and it’s not joshua. he looks vaguely familiar, so you figure he must’ve been the other bartender working with him the other night.
“hey,” you call out to him as you sit down, and he turns to face you, black hair falling into his eyes.
“how can i help you, miss?”
“what’s your name?” you ask him straight away, and he furrows his brows.
“it’s vernon, miss, but i don’t see—”
“you work with a fella named joshua?”
vernon rests his hands on the counter, leaning towards you. “i do indeed, but he ain’t here right now. it’s his day off.”
you frown. well. that messes with your plans.
“you gotta pen?” you ask, grabbing a napkin from the stack.
he pulls a pen from his breast pocket and twists it open, handing it to you. you scribble something quickly on the napkin, then cap the pen and hand it back to him.
you fold up the napkin and give it to vernon. “when you see him again, can you give this to him for me? it’s real important, make sure he gets it.”
he looks confused, but he shoves the pen and napkin into his pocket. “i’ll make sure it does.”
you nod soberly and stand up from the stool.
“wait– d’you want anything to drink, miss?”
you shake your head, shouldering your purse. “no. that’s all i came for.”
and with that you walk back out the door, frustrated but at least a little more hopeful.
joshua,
sorry for taking off last night.
phone me and we can do that dinner if you’d still like.
#: SE-0317
the wait for joshua’s phone call is unbearable, so instead of pacing by the telephone you try to busy yourself with something more productive: getting work done for your hard-boiled boss.
but even the pressure of his deadlines is enough to take your mind off what you’ve done. in fact, you don’t even know for sure if he’s single. for all you know you could be trying to screw a married man (though you didn’t notice a ring on his finger, but who can ever know for sure these days?)
the worst part is, you don’t even know for sure if he’s going to phone you, or if he even got your message. vernon seemed like a trustworthy guy, but maybe he and his coworkers get people like this all the time. maybe they’re having to fight off hordes of drunk, horny women with a stick. you scoff, thinking back to the last time you were at the speakeasy. that was certainly the case the other night with the flappers.
in all honesty, joshua was probably just being friendly, trying to make a repeat customer out of you. which he was successful in, of course; he had you hook, line, and sinker, and you didn’t even care. of course his offer to wine and dine you wasn’t genuine: it was a line, one he’d probably used on dozens of people, and you had fallen for it.
you’re so far deep in your own thoughts, you almost miss the sound of the telephone ringing in the other room; until you realize there’s no one else that would be calling you at this hour in the evening.
in a panic you scramble out of your chair, sprinting to the kitchen to grab the call.
“hello?” you answer, a little breathless but still holding onto hope.
“hi, sweetheart. thought you weren’t gonna pick up.”
you breathe out a sigh of relief at the man on the other end. maybe he really was sincere about everything after all, though you still don’t truly believe it.
“are you finally gonna take me out like you keep saying, or are you just tryin’ to get me to buy more drinks?” you ask, hoping he doesn’t hear the shake of nerves in your voice.
“‘course i am, baby. i don’t just go around offering dinner to every woman i meet at work, y’know.”
your cheeks warm, and you hold the receiver closer to your ear with a smile. “flattery will get you nowhere, joshua hong, but i won’t deny it, i like to hear it.”
he laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound, one that you find yourself wishing you could hear in person.
“there’s a new restaurant on the main drag that i’ve heard’s real fancy,” he starts. “been meaning to try it, so i might as well take my pretty lady along with me, too, hm?”
you chuckle, leaning against the doorframe and twirling the phone cord between your fingers. "your pretty lady, huh?"
"wouldn't say it 'f it wasn't true. you've got me wrapped around your little finger, miss," he says, and you have to bite the back of your hand to stop yourself from letting out an embarrassing noise in response.
he clears his throat, interrupting the silence on the line. “anyway, if you'd like, the speakeasy’s closed tonight for the holiday… could bring you back behind the bar after our dinner, show you a thing or two. although i got plenty of other nice things i could show you besides the drinks.”
"sounds like you got a grand evenin' planned, joshua," you say finally, swallowing your excitement.
"only for you, doll," he says, and even over the shaky static of the call you can hear the grin in his voice. "can i pick you up at 6 o'clock? just had my car waxed too; only the best for my lady."
"six is nice," you reply, still smiling.
"i'll see you then, sweetheart," he says, and the line goes silent as he ends the call.
exhaling a shaky breath, you put the receiver back on the hook and check the time on the clock across the room. better go fix your makeup before he gets here.
at 6 o'clock sharp joshua’s car rolls up in front of your apartment, freshly waxed and polished just like he'd said.
the drive to the new restaurant isn't far, but it feels like it stretches on for hours as you and joshua talk about anything and everything.
as for dinner, it by far isn't the best meal you've ever had, but your date's company more than makes up for the mediocre food.
as promised, after the dinner joshua drives you over to the speakeasy, using his key to open the back entrance where customers aren't allowed and lets you inside. it's an odd feeling, being alone in the space that's normally bustling with activity.
you slide into a seat at the counter as joshua grins, walking to the opposite side to stand behind the bar.
"sorry, miss, we're closed today," he says with a playful grin. "you'll have to come back tomorrow."
you giggle, playing along. "oh, but please, sir, can't you spare just a little glass of wine for me?"
the restaurants aren't allowed to serve alcohol, but even without it you feel tipsy in joshua’s presence, high on the excitement of being with him with nobody else around.
he places his hands on the counter and leans forward, his gaze meeting yours. "hmm, i could… but i think i have something better i could give you instead."
"better than wine?" you ask, pretending to be shocked. although if you've been reading this right like you think you've been, you have a feeling you know what he might be offering.
"mhm," he says, and he lifts a finger to beckon you closer.
you grin and lean forward to meet him across the counter, his lips locking with yours, and the feeling is heavenly. almost instantly you feel his hands behind your head, pulling you closer as he deepens the kiss. you tell yourself to fight the urge to moan, but when his lips part just enough to let his tongue slide into your mouth, all your inhibitions go out the stained-glass speakeasy windows and you decide, screw it, whatever happens, happens; not when you're having the most fun you've had in a long time and not when his touch feels this good.
he breaks away for just a second and to your surprise, jumps onto the bar and slides across, and then his hands are back on your body and he's kissing you more fervently than before.
"say the word and i'll stop, sweetheart," he moans, he really moans, but the thought of stopping doesn't even cross your mind as you pull him closer and lift your leg to wrap it behind his thigh.
before you know it, your back is against the counter and joshua is hovering over you. his large hands gently knead your breasts over the fabric of your dress and his mouth is still tangled with yours as you begin to feel heat pooling in your stomach.
"god, you drive me crazy," he breathes when your hands find his body and start to slide lower. you look up at him, one hand hovering carefully over the uncomfortably large bulge in his pants.
"please, joshua?" you ask softly, squeezing lightly around him and drawing another whine out of his gorgeous lips.
the second you hear his throaty "yes", your fingers are scrambling to undo his belt buckle and shoving his slacks down to his knees. his fingers are equally rushed, sliding over your back and quickly undoing the buttons holding up the fabric that hides your beautiful skin from his sight.
your breath hitches as he carefully slips the dress off your shoulders, watching as his eyes wander over you. he meets your eyes, fingers toying with the hem of your panties, and you nod, giving him permission.
“you’re even prettier than i imagined,” he whispers. his hands trail down your chest, mapping out every inch of your naked body.
his words barely even register, because you’re too busy staring at his hard cock. you figured he would be beautiful, but nothing you could’ve dreamed up in your wildest dreams would have even come close to what’s in front of you now.
you reach out and take his cock in your hand, holding him delicately and observing the way his eyes flutter shut. he lets out a soft sigh at your touch, and his hands settle at your waist for a moment before he reaches to grab your hand.
it doesn’t escape you how tiny your hand looks in comparison to his; while your fingers could barely reach all the way around his cock, his hand easily covers the space. the sight is almost hypnotizing. you carefully let go, bringing your hand up to the counter to brace yourself.
he leans down to capture your lips in another kiss, and you moan as you feel the head of his cock begin to brush through your soaking folds. he breaks away, and you look up into his dark eyes, waiting.
“been stuck on you since the first time i saw you, sweetheart,” he groans, and you feel the heat in your core grow hotter at his admission, knowing he’s been wanting this just as much as you have.
he curses under his breath, and finally he starts to fill you up. the stretch is perfect as he rocks his hips slowly back and forth, pushing into you a little more with each movement. his brows knit together in concentration, and his lips firmly press into a thin line as his gaze zeroes in on your pussy.
you look down where he’s watching, and you also can’t help but fixate on the sight of his girthy cock inside you. he’s not even nearly halfway inside you yet, but the feeling is already making you dizzy with pleasure. seeing him stretching you open, you feel the knot in your stomach begin to tighten almost instantly.
with his sleeves rolled up, you can clearly see the definition in his muscles, flexing as his hands slide across your half-clothed figure. his thick fingers hook around the straps of your bra, tugging them further down your chest to expose your breasts. he pushes his thumb into your mouth, and immediately you begin to suck on it.
he laughs, pulling his thumb out of your mouth and smearing your own spit across your nipple. “such a whore. should’ve known you would like that, my pretty slut.”
you let out a moan at his words, unintentionally clenching around him as he continues to push into you. you feel his grip on your thighs tighten, enough that you know it’ll leave bruises.
your first orgasm hits you out of nowhere when joshua bottoms out in you. the feeling of his cock sitting snugly inside of you, filling you up to the brim and then some, is enough to send you over the edge without warning. joshua curses, your cunt squeezing around his cock as you ride through your high.
“fuck, just like that, baby,” he grunts through gritted teeth, his other hand snaking down to rub at your clit. “cum all over my cock like my good girl.”
when you recover enough to breathe again, you look up to find joshua staring down at you, eyes blown wide with lust. his fingers are still on your clit, your only source of stimulation since he had stopped moving his hips once he was fully inside you.
he meets your eyes and begins to drag his cock out of you, just barely pressing an inch or two into you with slow, meticulous thrusts.
he gradually begins to build up speed, his cock perfectly hitting every sensitive part inside of you until you can’t think straight. you let your eyes close, mouth falling open in pleasure at his pace.
“god, you look so pretty when you cum,” joshua growls, and it feels like you stop breathing altogether as another orgasm slams into you, his words drawing your high out of you like a command.
this time he doesn’t give you a moment to recover, instead pulling nearly all the way out before pushing into you with so much force, you can feel him moving you back and forth across the counter with each thrust, the smooth oak grain growing sticky with sweat with each sharp snap of his hips.
already sensitive from two powerful orgasms, you cry out his name, dragging your nails along his biceps placed on either side of your face as he holds onto the counter. his thrusts get rougher, plunging into you over and over again and already beginning to build you up for another.
“sh-shua, please,” you gasp, reaching out to grab onto his shoulders for support.
the drag of his cock against your walls feels heavenly, quickly sending you hurtling into yet another orgasm that has your legs trembling around his waist. the waves of pleasure seem almost never-ending as his hips jerk into you sporadically, until finally he throws his head back and buries himself as deep as he can go inside of you, his pelvis flush against your cunt. his cock pulses inside you as his orgasm hits, feeling each spurt of cum fill you up, a satisfying feeling like you can’t even fathom.
breathing hard, you manage to drag your eyes away from where the two of you connect to glance up at his face, and the sight is one you’ll never forget: his thick eyebrows knitted tightly together and his nose scrunched up, his beautiful lips parted in a breathy, high-pitched whine.
the bar is quiet, but your ears are ringing and your head is spinning from everything that just happened. joshua stands over you, his cock still nestled in you as he breathes in and out shallowly, trying to catch his breath. you stay still, too exhausted to move until you feel his cum start to drip down your leg and you force yourself to sit up.
but his arms wrap around you, holding you tightly and you stop. you feel so secure, so grounded, despite your shaky legs dangling off the edge of the counter.
he sighs and begins pressing kisses along your neck, though this time they’re softer and gentler, instead of frantic and heated.
he kisses you once more on the cheek, then walks around to the other side of the bar to grab a towel.
“sorry about the mess,” you say shyly, reaching down to pick up your dress off of one of the barstools it had landed on.
he comes back around, towel in hand, and kisses you again. “don’t be,” he grins, and he squats down so that he’s eye-level with your cunt, his cum still leaking out of you. you resist the urge to snap your legs closed as he gently wipes the damp towel over your skin, a little embarrassed despite him being inside you no more than a couple of minutes ago.
once he’s satisfied he lifts you up off the counter, setting you gently on the floor and helping you into your dress before putting his own clothes back on.
you slide onto a stool, watching him fondly as he walks back around to the other side of the bar and picks up another towel to wipe off the counter with.
“so,” he says finally, rolling up his sleeves with a cocky smile that makes your stomach do backflips. “what can i make you, darling?”
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#1k#[📌] — june.writes#[💟] — joshua#[❤️] — smut#[💛] — fluff#[💙] — angst#joshua smut#svt smut#seventeen smut#hong jisoo smut#joshua hong smut#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#joshua imagines#svt fanfic#joshua x reader#hong jisoo#joshua hong#joshua x y/n#joshua x you#svt x reader
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Haloo, I just finished reading your kwannie x reader clingy angst fic. Would u please do a shua version. I also read cheol and hannie ver. Hehe. Just to complete 95 liner. Thank you veery much. 🥰
i hope you enjoyed the last two, and will like this one as well! now we have the 95z complete
+ this is the last clingy fic i’ll write
bad joke | joshua hong
genre | angst & fluff
word count | 1.5k
pairing | joshua x reader
“I don’t deserve you,” you murmured, your cheek squished against Joshua’s chest.
Your day has been dragging itself for what felt like forever, the never-ending accidents having chosen this day to take vengeance on you for some reason, making your mood gloomier than the weather was. Nothing seemed to work out for you, and you prayed for the day to end, so you could lay down in your bed and bawl your eyes out.
You were prepared to come back to a quiet apartment, and cold too, as your heater magically decided to break down. With no dinner, and no proper food in the fridge, you knew that the afternoon would be as miserable as the rest of the day.
The last thing you expected was to open the door, and be greeted by the smell of ramyeon and your favourite tea you always drank before bed, music quietly playing from the speaker in your living room.
“Of course you deserve me, darling,” Joshua gently put his hand on the back of your head, dragging his fingertips gently through your hair. “It was just a bad day.”
He cupped your face, pulling it away from his chest looking down at you with a warm smile, as small creases by his eyes appeared, something that always happened when he looked at you. And in that moment everything felt alright again - his soft gaze, and equally gentle touch made you melt further into his body, tension leaving your sore muscles for the first time since you woke up. He was your definition of comfort, your safe blanket, that you could wrap around yourself on your worst days, knowing that he’d always be there for you.
“Okay, let’s eat before the food gets cold,” he said, intertwining your fingers. You wrapped your hand around his bicep, and leaned your head onto his shoulder, as he guided you to the kitchen. Joshua busied himself with finishing off the food, as you took out the utensils and prepared the table, even lighting the candle he got for you on his last tour.
“Here you go, darling,” Joshua placed a steaming bowl of your favourite ramyeon on the table, as well as the tea he had made earlier. “I hope it’s still warm,” he said, wrapping his hand around your cup, checking the temperature. “I can make you another one,” he was about to take it away, when you grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“It’s okay Josh, just sit down, and eat with me,” you said, picking up the spoon and chopsticks. You could swear, you had never been that excited about eating.
But as you started to munch on the food, with a compliment for your boyfriend’s amazing cooking skills at the tip of your tongue, you raised your head, and noticed he was still standing next to you, a weird expression adorning his face.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, stopping in your tracks. “I’m not staying,” Joshua explained, his troubled expression only intensifying. “Remember that boys night I had planned with Coups and Jeonghan? It’s today.”
And just like that, the comfort bubble popped.
“Can’t you reschedule it?” You asked, eyes big, and pleading. You knew you were acting silly, childish even, but it seemed that your body and mind longed to be with him. You just needed someone to look out for you - to take care of you.
He let out a sad sigh, which couldn’t mean anything good, and you knew you wouldn’t like what he was about to say. “You know how long we’ve been planning this night for, darling. And we were really looking forward to it, you know we had to wait months to book that place, and we’d have to wait an eternity for another free spot if we cancelled now.”
“I really don’t want to be alone, Joshua,” you said with a quiet voice and a quivering lip. On any other day, you’d never make him change his plans for you, even now, your words were barely coming through your throat. This was a shitty thing to do, and you knew that if Joshua stayed he’d be unhappy, and you’d end up sitting in an uncomfortable silence rather than finding comfort in each other.
“Don’t you think you’re a bit clingy?” He giggled, the smile reaching his ears. “You’ll be fine for one night, it’s not the end of the world,” his words pierced your heart, making your stomach sink in disappointment, as his words hit you.
“W-what did you just call me?” Joshua’s smile quickly dropped, his teasing demeanour gone in a second. “You said I was clingy?” Your eyes immediately filled with tears, your hands shaking under the table - not so much from anger, but from his dismay. Joshua clearly didn’t realise how much his words hurt you.
“Darling, I-” “Don’t bother.”
You dropped the spoon, and grabbed your cup, heading for the terrace. You ignored Joshua's pleadings for you to come back, his voice clearly laced with guilt, but no matter how hurt he was didn’t change the fact that he hurt you first.
You knew very well it was unfair for you to ask him to cancel his plans, but he called you “clingy” in your most vulnerable state, when you really needed comfort and support, and not his jokes.
You underestimated how cold it was, the breeze sweeping under your shirt, as you stepped out, sending shivers down your back, as the only remaining source of heat was your cup you were tightly clutching between your hands. The clouds seemed even darker than before, casting a sad shadow over the city.
You sat at one of the chairs, looking out to the distance, trying to suppress the tears that were threatening to spill. Not only did you have one of the shittiest days ever - your boyfriend, your precious Joshua decided it was the perfect time to make fun of you, but at the same time you knew it was so wrong to pressure him into changing his plans just because you had a bad day.
“But he did call you clingy,” the thought lingered at the back of your head, somehow trying to excuse your behaviour. You took a shaky inhale, trying to slow down your racing mind, as it was starting to make you really anxious.
A sudden knock pulled you out of your thoughts, making you spill some of the tea that you were sure was cold by now. Another thing to tick off on your “what went wrong today” list.
“Can I talk to you?” Joshua kneeled before you, sinking to his knees, as he took the cup from your cold hands, and gently intertwined your fingers, so he could warm them up a bit, something that the tea failed to do.
“I didn’t mean to call you clingy, and I’m sorry. I want you to know that I only said that as a joke, and I shouldn’t have done that either. It was stupid, and I shouldn’t have reacted like that,” his eyes were sincere, and warm - as they always were. The only thing they missed were the small creases.
“It’s okay Josh. I was wrong too,” you sniffled, wiping off the single tear that escaped your eye. “I’m in no place to ask you to cancel your plans, that was so fucking immature of me,” you shook your head, almost as if you couldn’t quite believe that you had acted like that.
“You had every right, darling,” he cupped your face, bringing you closer to him, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “You had a bad day, of course you wouldn't want to be left alone.”
“Still-.” “Stop blaming yourself. If anything, I acted immature for making fun of you, and calling you something hurtful when you needed help.”
You pulled at the sleeve of his hoodie, making him sit next to you. Joshua was quick to wrap his arms tightly around your body, so he could shield you from the wind, cradling your face close to his chest.
“Why don’t you call Seungcheol’s and Jeonghan’s girlfriends, and you could have a girls' night while I was out with the boys?” he asked in a quiet voice, his mouth right next to your ear. “I really wouldn’t want to leave you alone, precious. I would have a shitty night if I knew you were here alone.”
Letting his word sink, you actually smiled at the idea. That would be even better than staying with Joshua only, and you’d both get to have a great time - you’d end up in a win-win situation.
“You’re a genius Joshua Hong,” you muttered into his chest, closing your eyes. “I don’t think so, I just made my girlfriend cry,” you giggled, actually laughing for the first time today.
“Yeah, but I still love you.”
“I don’t deserve you,” Joshua murmured, his cheek squished against the top of your head.
“Of course you deserve me, darling,” you gently put your hand on the back of his head, dragging your fingertips gently through his hair. “It was just a bad joke.”
also, i could not write proper angst for this one, as i have for the previous fics - but no matter how much i wanted i just couldn't picture joshua calling anyone intentionally clingy
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