splash (although close)> killa > marvelous > ourturn

i know almost nothing abt demon slayer but have some thoughts abt douma

you wake up in his little cult w no memory of who you are right

the woman taking care of you grins and tosses the wet rag she used on your forehead to the side

nd with this widened almost terrifying smile, she says "our lord has come to visit you himself! what a blessing~"

the first time you see douma you just feel like somthing is. off

hes pretty - stunning, honestly - in this mystical, dangerous way that should lead you away from him instead of bringing you closer. but, its the opposite for his followers - they hang onto every word he says and believe him so earnestly its kind of sad

douma immediately thinks theres something wrong w you. you dont have that foggy, starry-eyed gaze everyone else does when hes near. you look cautious - aware. it makes him hungry

he leans down to face you, "hello, stranger! stay as long as you need to, hm?"

your skin crawls but you nod anyways

staying in paradise is odd. again, everyone hangs on douma's every word and trusts his every action. they devote themselves to him. but youve noticed -

people are going missing, women specifically.

his followers are v obviously in lust w him, bragging abt the nights spent alone w him and begging to be the next chosen one

"it'll be me," one girl says as she dries the freshly cleaned dishes. she perks her chest up smugly, "i've got his favored assets."

"he's been spending more time with me," another argues, "asking for me personally."

"don't act so mighty-"

and then the man himself appears in the doorway with a soft, barely there smile. "[random name], we have some things to discuss. see you tonight?"

everyones attention shifts to the smallest one in the kitchen, eyes large and timid. her hands shake so hard the plate shes holding falls to the floor and shatters. douma tilts his head, "everything alright, sweet? should we have our session a little earlier?"

"shes going to die."

it comes from your mouth before you can stop it. multi-colored eyes snap to you, his nose crinkling slightly. you simply stare, "when they disappear with you, they vanish. die."

douma hides the way his eye twitches. the bustier girl stammers, shoving your shoulder roughly. "you shouldnt say such things! apologize to lord-"

"its okay," doumas eyes twinkle, "curious cicumstances, hm, [name]?"

she doesnt die. its as if douma is proving a point to you - proving you wrong. she lives that night - only to vanish the next. "a personal trip," douma speaks. he dismisses everyones concerns except for yours.

and when you start speaking up more - predicting everyones death - he begins to punish you

the water you wash dishes with is either scalding hot or below freezing. theres a new night shift to the sanctuary that you take care of, staying awake for days on end. cleaning the entirety of paradise by yourself. watching as every other member feasts heartily while your portion is forgotten or unavailable.

douma even tries to throw you off his trail. he speaks to numerous people - has those secret conversations with men and others out of his normal type. but you always seem to know the exact one hes going to consume - the one who will die.

as if you predict it

and that makes him so curious! youre such an annoyance ; a hazard to keep around. but what if you could predict the future? what if maybe you were just that observant?

it doesnt help that you arent afraid of him. most of the time, you simply stare and blink at him, like youre bored

and that starts his obsession with you

the women he takes to his room are reminescent of you. your eye color ; hair color ; height ; the way they speak ; the letter of their name - any similarity to you and theyre done

starts calling you "precious" , "chosen" , or "blessing" to make sure you know hes keeping an eye on you but to also make the other followers hate you

i think youd catch on but but this is where my thought stopped lmao

Rambling abt the half dream half nightmare that woke me up today below the cut. feel free to ignore, just need to vent it out somewhere. Probably going to include me talking abt Current Family Issues and Feelings so. yeah. TW for mentions of someone in hospital, death, religion, and overall family dysfunction lmao

I know that ultimately, right now, if something big and/or terrible happened medically to anyone in my family back in ND, I wouldn't be able to go see them. The money just isn't there (part of why I'm not going out there this summer nor are they coming out here at all.) I've accepted it, and I try not to think abt it.

That said, LOVE (read: HATE) my brain deciding a hyper realistic yet weird dream abt my mum winding up in hospital is the way to go this morning. Complete with:

-her bf refusing to speak to me abt it, and telling me not to bother going to visit her in the weird, somehow existing in both CT and ND simultaneously, hospital with a 'haven't you already been enough of a burden to her?'

-me staying in my grandparent's old house in ND, and for some reason that meant being wildly unable to get ready to go to the hospital. Finding my clothes was nearly impossible, but. all their old decorations were back up on the wall so even as I was searching for them I like. Didn't want to leave? As if the house would revert back to being sold like it has been irl, if i left it. Finally I wound up just stealing clothes from my grandfather's side of their closet (specifically his old 80s styled 'eagle on a tree branch' print sweater that he got forced to toss a few years ago bc it was becoming more holes than sweater, and one of his old, big leather jackets. somehow i found jeans that fit me, idk how considering i can't seem to do that irl rn but i digress)

-me showing up to the hospital FINALLY only for Noel Fielding?? to be sitting outside it with a friend dressed in what i can only describe as absolutely gorgeous future techno witch clothing. Unfortunately they were fucking dicks in this dream and scared the shit out of me by joking that 'it was so nice I'd shown up still despite the worst' and implying my mum had already passed. Noel did shout apologies as i stomped off inside and that as far as he knew she was still okay, but his friend is the one who handed me a wrapped in plastic, small, metal stool with a weird cartoon face on the seat so i could 'sit with her body, like sitting shiva, right?' (not like that at all to my knowledge, but then again my family has rarely to never fully followed any of the various religious rituals around death, we just. take the bits the dead person liked from them and ignore the rest, for better or for worse. Maybe that's just what happens when a family is a mishmash of various christian sorts from Catholic to Protestant with the hidden knowledge that actually, prior to ppl moving to the States, ppl in the family were Jewish but inter-marrying into Catholic families for safety-sake, and so any Jewish traditions used now are done wrongly and weirdly and in odd bits and pieces. At least that's as much as I've been told/have found out abt it, anyway)

-I proceed into this stupidly fancy and open concept hospital, to immediately find a hugr crowd mucking up the elevators (crowding the elevator bank and refusing to let others on.) That's where Con showed up, and helped me make it up the ridiculously wide, roundish staircases (think like. wide rounded stage steps, but for each level of this hospital), while also trying soothe me by telling me Housemate was already here and waiting for me, so were my grandparents and even Mum's bf (he promised to keep him away from me lol, it was v sweet in an otherwise filled with anxiety dream.)

-however, as we were struggling up the steps (also full of crowds, pushing each other around, so we literally had to hold hands and hold onto the railings and walls to avoid being shoved down the stairs), he kept hesitating on saying more abt mum. He tried to distract me by mentioning that, since I was here, the docs might want me to address some of my own health issues but that he wouldn't let them force me into any treatment i didn't want. Then he finally alluded to mum being in worse straits than I'd been told abt and said something to the effect of 'doing only what you can, not what she or others would expect of you' and 'not to set yourself on fire to keep someone else alive' plus admitting he was deeply worried my family was abt to force me into a big decision that absolutely wasn't the ONLY treatment option that would help mum, but it was implied to be the one mum's bf and my grandparents were pushing for.

-still dunno exactly what that option was, but just before i woke up i started hearing the latter part of the song Gethsemane from JCS (Housemate and I have been watching various versions irl this weekend lol), specifically the bit where Jesus dares/begs/etc God to see how he dies. This was accompanied by me finally reaching my mum's hospital room, and a stupid bright light emanating from it and like. Not to critique my own brain and the dream it created, but that was far too on the nose for me personally lmao.

-and I woke up thinking abt the call with my grandparents that I had on Thursday (didn't go super poorly but went. kind of weird and uncomfortable and confirmed again that like. they're happy for me being out here in CT, yet at the same time hold it and my happiness against me to some unconscious degree as originally outright confirmed by Mum in an earlier call her and I had like. Tail end of last year lmao. the main crux seeming to be 'why couldn't i find happiness in ND/what's wrong with all of them/why wasn't i willing to keep trying to make my life work in ND regardless of my happiness/don't i know how hard it is without my being there to help everyone whenever they ask/etc family bullshit')

And now I'm laying here thinking. If the Worst would happen for any of them, they would fully expect me to empty my bank accounts and do whatever else i had to, to get to ND not just to see them, but to help. to take care of as much as possible for them (mum and grandma get decision paralysed by sad/scary life events, my aunt is so uncomfortable with sickness and death she won't do hospital visits or funerals at all anymore for anyone, my cousins...are young enough they won't know how to handle it/won't want to, my grandpa tends to just shut down and isolate when things go to shit, and that's not to say that they all don't still get done things that need doing in these situations, but that they DO all usually need prodding and help and have leaned on me for that since i was a kid.)

And i would of course want to see them/help however i could, but. not to that extent. not to the point that I'd have nothing for myself, no money or help (bc they're not in a position to return that help or money to me, and they'd be so emotional as to likely be extremely offended and upset if i mentioned needing help myself.)

That said, I'm sick of silently daring them to watch me die just for their sakes, even tho i do still love them all dearly. and of course, that's entirely too dramatic but at the same time, Mum and I have had convos abt 'what if there's a shooting somewhere that we're at, how do we handle it, how are we attempting to protect each other' and Mum always says she would take a bullet for me, but she didn't protest when i say that I'd take one for her or anyone else in the family first. Last time she just nodded like. yeah. of course you would. so. Feelings, abt all of this.

If u actually read this full thing that was A. very sweet of u and i appreciate that u care abt my silly lil fucked up brain enough to do that (genuinely, I'm v grateful) and b. here is a pic of Nisha as what little compensation i can give for u reading this long ass ramble lol

I know I don't know the most about TSR (or star wars in general) but I think a sequel about their children would be interesting. After all they have one mother who has shown herself to be a dictator throughout the story and seems to mostly have adopted them for the sake of passing down the sith ways and another who doesn’t actually want them. Star is the one who became a Sith so I assume she was Aliana’s favorite. 1/9 (sorry abt the bunch of asks ahead)

I feel like her backstory of being rescued from life as a child soldier by the First Order and the annoyance at her constant nightmares mean that she might feel as though she has to prove her worth. Show her mothers that they chose the right girl to pass the legacy onto. (I imagine that Alina adopted her bc she knew that Star had great force potential) She probably emulates her mother a lot as a result and has been willing to engage in her rather screwed up activities. (2/9)

Then there is Kyra and Tahli. IIRC in the past the Beniko bloodline had a rule of one going on so let’s assume that Kyra was adopted as a back-up if Star failed at sithness and Tahni, the only one without a future using the force, was taken in due to being the kid of a dead friend of theirs who they felt obligated to raise for some reason. There may be a story behind how they met them in canon but this is what I am going with until further notice. (3/9)

Kyra views Star as her rival and envies her place as the future Sith while she is simply going to be a jedi. She spends more time with Rey, and wants to be as close to him as Aliana and Star are but failing. I like to think that she spent her childhood trying to surpass Star, only to later end up learning more about what actual jedis are like and achieving inner peace from applying those teachings onto her own all-consuming envy and anger. (4/9)

Tahli as the only one without the force was completely sidelined. Unlike Kyra she felt more trapped in her position as the unfavorite and accepted it blaming herself for the fact that neither parent wanted her. Maybe she is ND and mechanics is her hyperfixation. In general I think she enjoys it and makes her feel better about the whole situation. So basically a theme with all three is self-worth issues. (5/9)

Throughout the story they slowly learn more and more about Aliana’s more horrific actions. & they start to realize that the way she treats them and Rey may be abusive actually. And then we get to see how they deal with it. As a shout-out to an earlier anon perhaps one of them ends up romancing a Mandolarion who somehow managed to survive Aliana’s reign of horror. Also maybe one of them can be a closest Trans Boy in order to explore the screwed up “daughters only” Beniko Family tree. (7/9)

This got a bit out of hand and a lot of it is based off of my imagination but seriously it would be cool. Unfortunately I at least would not feel comfortable writing what amounts to a hate-fic for her oc and plus I doubt most people will wish to 1. Put this much thought into thinking about something we hate and 2. Risk the whole thing coming across as a smug “Look-at-how-much-better-I-am” fic even if that is basically what The Sith Resurgence is itself. (8/8 actually guess I miscalculated sorry)

🥇 Pick one aspect of your story that you are particularly fond of. Anything at all. and

🧿 Whether you actually get there or not, what are your hopes for your OC's future? !! -wildfaewhump

Oh my these answers got long. Putting them under the cut!

🥇 Pick one aspect of your story that you are particularly fond of. Anything at all.

I am fond of the lore around supernatural abilities that I have! Even if its more... implicit and implied rather than ever explored outright lol. Maybe one day.

The first ideas spawned from two places: a) the concept of empathy being like... a positive evolutionary trait. And then following the thread of okay, so if empathy is a step forward in evolution, then what happens when that steps forward, or when other "gut feeling" things step forward, or mutate, or spin out of control. And, b) a slightly reactionary thing to when people go "neurodivergence is a superpower!" "survivor instincts are a superpower!". Because like... no, lol, but also if those things were like a superpower, would it actually help anyone? Could you actually do anything with a superpower if you're already disenfranchised, locked out from support, isolated from community?

Cass can feel what people want (see: fawn response on steroids) and even change what they want and control, but does that actually help him to find care and connection? Does that actually get him what he wants? Lou is hyper aware of the emotions of people around her (see: hyper empathy in ND people), and even trace and manipulate memories through those emotions, but does that help her understand people or does it just make her frustrated and cold because connecting with anyone is overwhelming? Harley can (kind of) predict the future, (and don't autism and trauma backgrounds both make us so so good at predicting patterns), but does that actually help them to lift themself out of the situation they're stuck in, or does it just leave them bracing for impact and frozen?

I think it's interesting conceptually, crunchy in pratice, and I fuckin' love chewing on it. Would hate to ever actually explore it in the text itself lmao, but I'm really proud of it as a take on supernatural abilities and how they might manifest and intersect with the way we know brains do things in our world.

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🧿 Whether you actually get there or not, what are your hopes for your OC's future?

I've said a few things about this before but I have a relatively clear vision of (at least) Cass and Josiah's future! Cass ends up working in early childhood education (pre-school age). I kinda like the idea of him maybe getting into some volunteer advocacy work at some point, because he figures out its a constructive place for his anger and sense of injustice to go, but also maybe he just runs one of those like rage yoga classes for kids.

This happens before present timeline, but is also one of those headcanon-y things that just never comes up: Josiah used the pay-off he got from the Facility to buy a small block of apartments* and gets an income from being a landlord, he lives on that during times it's hard for him to keep a day job down. Cass and him eventually live in the top floor apartment of that little block.

For a while, Josiah continues to do trade work, mostly as something to do during the day because he's never not worked, and he kind of likes laboring.

I like the idea of Cass coaxing Jos into making baking a full time thing. He wouldn't want to run the front of the shop but I can see him opening up a little cafe where he gets to bake his goods, maybe cook a few meals, and has someone chirpy in the front to deal with customers. I reckon he'd like that.

*(he got upset when he found out that Lou and Mal were being kicked from the place they loved because the landlord was selling and realised he had enough in the bank to make an offer, so he did and didn't tell them until like six months later.)

Less of a question and more of a small story. Me and my queer platonic partner have known each other for about six years. A few months back, my platonic affection for them shifted into alterous. I love them, I honestly do, and I daydream often about what it'd be like to live with them the way we sometimes talk about. It'd want to do all of the sappy domestic shit like snuggling and sleeping next to each other and splitting up the cooking and chores. I guess when I thought deeper on this I figured it just started to sound like marriage, and I started to panic, and wondered if that meant I was actually in love with them romantically. I started worrying I'd have to marry them to ever get that sort of thing. But thinking about it further, I'm still repulsed by the idea of participating in all the romantic or sex stuff. I'd never want to kiss them on the lips or anything. And sleeping in the same bed has always been a platonic action to me (me and my grandmother used to share one when I was young because it helped my insomnia to have a person or a pet nearby). Hell, I actively want to meet and befriend their future wife and be able to get along with her. There's no prospective jealously. We managed to figure this out in a conversation so everything's good now but I guess I still have a lot of work to do with my internalized aphobia. Anyway I guess I just wanted to know how common it is to want to like,, platonically marry someone I guess? Like do a lot of aro/ace people hate the idea of being alone the way I do and want to live closely with a roommate/partner, but without the expectation of romance or sex? Are my desires clingy, co-dependent, or too-much? (My partner seems okay with them, but they aren't a-spec in any way so I worry they might start to grate when they actually get to a place they feel comfortable openly dating women). Should I be trying to reign them in or back off? Honest question I'm ND and not always the best with social ques or expectations.

I don't think I've ever seen it asked in a survey or anything like that, but there are definitely a lot of aros around who do still want some kind of life partner, and the idea of marrying someone in a platonic way, or living together and things like that are things that definitely appeal to a lot of aros too. Alterous feelings also definitely are not uncommon among aros in QPRs.

Wanting thee things you're talking about here isn't clingy or co-dependent. Being clingy or codependent in a relationship has more to do with the relationship dynamic itself, so the partner who has trouble letting their partner do things without them, or being overly needy, or being too dependent on a partner to the point where you're not taking proper care of yourself or can't.

Wanting a life partner, liking the idea of getting married, sleeping in the same bed, splitting the cooking etc. are actually all very healthy things to want in a relationship. And would be a healthy dynamic.

And if your partner wants the same things you do, then that's just a compatible relationship. And if they're acting like they're OK or happy with how things are between you, then it's likely they are.

Definitely I always encourage good communication, so that would be things like making it clear to your partner what you want and making sure you're on the same page. And if not, figuring out what would work for both of you if possible. But this is all just part of any kind of relationship including platonic ones and QPRs. But if you've done that already, then I think you're in a good spot.

As for if things may change when your partner starts dating women, I wouldn't assume anything. Of course you can never predict the future, but that's not the common story I hear. Usually when people have a very close relationship they value it and allo people are no different.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

I will knock you ep 10 - revelation

I find the revelation interesting that Noey’s dad is not dead. He is not with the family, presumably left mom and she doesn’t know where he is.

I honestly thought he was dead. So, this was quite a surprise. They may not do anything with this, or they may play with this concept in S2

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Mom fell in love with Thug, so honestly the one who would understand Thi the best, and Thi’s parents the best is Noey’s Mom. But, given what she has been through, she just might support Thi’s parents’ choices.

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Now, the big pandaro’s box that has opened for me is what do the kids think of their dad - hate him/love him?

Noey’s thug persona - i don’t think is because of his dad - i think it is him trying to put out a message to society around him that this house has 2 women, but 1 man too - that’s why he maintains his scary persona because as a child also he sees it as his prime duty to protect his two ladies

... and you can see that in ND also, she ain’t some quiet nerdy girl you can bully

and to me, this is more a reflection of Mom - single mother, trying to make a living for her kids and provide them with a safe and secured future

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Is this a novel adaptation or original series? If novel, do we have any spoilers?

Started playing Cupid Parasite yesterday, and as per my nature I'm playing by following both a guide and the most common recommended route order, so it's gonna be like. A LONG while until I fully get the answers to absolutely all the mysteries of the game, but!

I thought it might be fun, if not for others to read then at the very least for sake of posterity as something I can to come back to in the future, to log my thoughts, feelings, and predictions!

So: let's get started!

I called Allan being an incubus from essentially the very beginning. I don't even know what about him gave it away so quickly for me, but. Yah I suspected it long before he even mentioned Jupiter or specifically seeking out Lynette

So like, I imagine we're all in agreement about Minerva ABSOLUTELY being what's-her-face Love-Sensei ™ who's just out here being the ultimate wingwoman for Kyu-chan, right??

The translation sucks SO bad it physically hurts me sometimes lmao. Also the inconsistencies in how they translate things have me constantly doing a double take, istg wtf the least they could have done was settle on one way to portray the Shotafication™ of Glamor Parasite (whose name I'm totally blanking on rn for whatever reason??? Give me a break alright, I'm not even past the common route 😭)

The secret route is just Chii, right? Like. It's absolutely just Chii becoming a person called Peter and talking in the funniest "How do you do, fellow humans" pattern. Like initially I thought it might be Owen because voiced bishi but then I realized that literally everyone in this game is gorgeous so. Yeah now I'm like 99% certain secret route is just Kyu-chan getting together with her fucking pet of 8 years or something lmao that should be. Interesting, can't wait for him to absolutely lose it on her for using him as a neck massager lmaoo

Incidentally, no clue who Chii is a spy for, but he ABSOLUTELY is one, or at least, started out as such. No clue what made him take human form either, but like. Ya'll, I'm certain he's Peter. You can't fool me with that generic white text layout, game!!

Wtf is up with that weird lady in disguise and when is Kyu-chan going to realize it's either her absentee mom or her work partner or whatever the fuck Hera is to her, because like. Yeah that lady is absolutely not just some random human, she's either Hera or Venus

Oh god this game has me all mixed up with it using both roman and greek names, ffs it's a nightmare keeping it straight in my head even though I've always been into mythology

Raul, my bro, I get you. We can be special interest pals!!! I'll geek out about it with you and won't slap you for your bad takes!! His "parasite issue" really does feel like it's just him being ND, huh?

Minerva gave SUCH strong Biblical Snake vibes when we first meet her and I HATE it because I think she's either managed to convince me she's just an ostracized goddess who seeks change and is only playfully spiteful in a non harmful way but. Honestly she may very well turn out to have just been playing 4d chess using Kyu-chan the entire time, it'd suck tho because I LOVE MY GEEKY AUNT/MOTHER FIGURE/BGF (BEST GODDESS FRIEND)

Consequently, Mars is either just an asshole of an old fart for no reason or Minerva is just. Genuinely bad news and he was actually the good one all along. UNLIKELY, but always possible. Also did he fucking kidnap Kyu-chan??? What's her relationship with her mom even like??

The game gets 10/10 for style, like 4/10 for being practical and easy to see. Fr good god I have to zoom enhance AND squint from like one cm away from the screen to see some of the stuff. Same goes for the sound design, tbh- mixing is a mess and I'm constantly fiddling with the settings, but by god(s) does everything sound GREAT! Also the car honk absolutely sends me every time I hear it, and that's. A lot fjxjksbwjz

It's so much fun!!! Truly living up to its name as a romcom so far but I'm not an idiot and I can sense the angst coming from a mile away lmao

That's all I can recall for now, might repost with more stuff or updates later on, might not, tbh I just wanna get back to the game, so!!!

Edit because literally as soon as I opened up the game I remembered something else:

Oh god Gill is REALLY toeing the line between absolutely stealing my heart and earning a restraining order lmao

[Terminal Hades Brainrot again]

The more scenes I watch, the more I’m disturbed at how much Hades ‘others’ Zagreus. He barely uses his name before a certain event, he constantly belittles him and tells him that everything he does is a failure, he isn’t impressed with Zagreus buying upgrades or anyone helping him, and he even tells him to ‘cease bothering the dog’, as though Cerberus isn’t ALSO Zagreus’ family pet. The line about the hydra having a family and Zagreus’ rather dark line of ‘So do I’, plus a line about ‘We’re Gods, boy, killing each other is what we do’ makes me really wonder something.

A discussion on Reddit talked about the cycle of abuse, and Hades has some serious hangups about his family. I do wonder if he is deliberately keeping Zagreus out of being close to him to avoid future pain and betrayal, but by doing so, he causes Zagreus to bear a grudge against him anyway, so he fufills part of that anyway. He only comes clean or part-way clean after a certain event, and he is mature enough to say he doesn’t expect Zagreus to forgive him.

A line about the Fates being cruel really brought up a previous point to me; how did Hades feel about Zagreus’ stillbirth? I thought this was perhaps a nod to that, as it took Nyx convincing the Fates to change Zagreus’ story to bring him back to life, and Hades didn’t sound like he thought Zagreus would successfully be born from what other characters say. Like he had accepted he wasn’t going to have a family of his own, and the surprise survival of Zagreus has made him even more tentative nd cautious just in case he lets this little bean into his life only for him to murder him or die completely all over again.

A telling point for me is the fact that, if you die by Hades, his name does not appear on Zagreus’ records. Hades is normally a stickler for rules, and yet there’s just some part of him that will not allow it in black and white that he murdered Zagreus. Chrono’s attack on him has clearly left a deep scar, and I do wonder if this was a small signal that he doesn’t utterly hate and loathe Zagreus. I just really, REALLY hope he makes an effort in Hades II to connect with his boy, Zagreus is such a good bean and any parent would be proud of him, and Hades should make allowances for his little family.

I’ll probably turn this into a proper essay with citations at some point but I wanted to get some feedback and discussion from people who know the game better than me.

Hey not hating or anything at all, what is this otherkin stuff? Like how do you call yourself a dog or an angel/what does that mean to you guys?

Hi Anon! Thanks for sending an ask. I know it can be hard asking about things you don't know when everyone else seems so clued in. This is especially anxiety-inducing when you need to ask a community with a belief that has been ridiculed so much that many are weary to answer questions in case we're being trolled. I chose to believe you are honestly just new and perhaps discovered me via my reblogging from a non-otherkind source, thus discovering that this is even a thing. Sidenote: Otherkin/therianthropy have been around for decades now. A basic definition for otherkin/d is that the individual identifies fully or partially as; a ) something not human including from fictional sources and/or b ) a fictional human

I could not possibly list all the various reasons in depths, nor do I want to slap you in the eyeballs with a miles long post with a million new terms in it. Although this will still be long, I apologise. I also recommend looking through otherkin tags with an open mind for more information. As a community, many of us enjoy writing about our beliefs. There are also wiki's and forums out there on the subject. Ok so 'how' we identify like this! How can we possibly be an angel or a dog or something? There's four main paths of origin of identity belief: spiritual, metaphysical, psychological, pathological. Spiritual - based on particular spiritual beliefs such as past lives, souls, reincarnation through a specific religions route, shards of divine beings, divine connections, etc. The 'soul' explanation is most common. e.g. I have the soul of a dog in the body of a human, so I'm actually a dog, my body is just wrong. I used to be a cat but then I was reincarnated as a human, but part of my spirit is still a cat, so I'm a human and a cat. Metaphysical - this is any explanation that may have a scientific basis, but at unproved/unprovable one. Metaphysics literally meaning 'beyond physics'. This could be belief in the multiverse and links between it, parallel universes, having connections to your past and future selves in the present through wormholes or something else time bending, some forms of reincarnation etc e.g. I'm Sans Undertale because there was a universe where my world was real, not a game, now I'm in this universe in a human body. I have a connection to a future life where I am a mermaid thus I live these lives in tandem. Psychological - any origin which believes the mind is solely or hugely responsible for the identity (can also be in a pathological way but labelled psychological, I've just separated them for my and your ease). This could be because of being ND, connections forged in childhood, imprinting onto something etc e.g. I'm Autistic and this has manifested my alien identity. I forged an involuntary strong connection with cats at an early age so now I am one. Pathological - identities that come from a diagnosed/diagnosable disorder. This includes but is not limited to clinical lycanthropy and delusional disorder. You may see the individual use the term 'endel' to describe having a delusional disorder and being nonhuman because of it. Sidenote: Some may seek to voluntarily create a nonhuman or fictional identity - this is called 'otherlink'. Sometimes it may be for coping reasons 'copinglink'. I don't know if that explains enough to you, but there are better explainers out there I promise. Just keep in mind that you don't have to believe we're really what we say we are, but we do ask for a certain courtesy to be extended. In other words, for you to at least treat our identities as the serious and not at all harmful facet of us that they are. Put it this way! Do I think all of my family actually see me as a man? No. But they don't misgender me (at least to my face) and they use male language for me and buy me things made for men now so it doesn't matter if they don't actually believe in me (though of course belief would be nice).

MINDNOTES #1

HELLO I AM HAVING A GREAT TIME RIGHT NOW AND I AM ON ONE F MY OTHER ANOTHER EPISODES WHERE I AM VERY EXCITED AND ELEVATED AND HAPPY SO I TELL ALL GREAT NOTES OF MY MIND@!!!!!!!

okok so i was just rewatching borat because that movie always makes me laughHAAHH very funny and it makes me smile but then again i wish borat wouldve never went after pamela like WHAT is the point why is it always a love interest as the goddamn goal???? although i found it very funny when he tried to kidnap her very nice! HBHJABHJB!! s os  soi ... hm... well i have noticed that my mind has been ac wait acting up LATELY AND BASICALLLLLLYYY i have found out nNO NO i HAVE realized and recognized that my mind has been having trouble making differenence between fictiona nd reals OH MY GOD> fiction and reality. im having trouble deciphering them. like i cant tell the difference sometimes. and what i mean by that, i mean im having trouble with my dreams and reality. i dream of something or a have one of my elaborate day dreams and i think its actually happened. and i know this happens when im tired but i mean i now think of these in the middle of the day and i just take it as the real thing BUT WAIT there is more. basically, sometimes i just receive information from literally no where... i just have the memory like when i think of a dream i had I KNOW it was a dream BUT NOWADAYS i cant tell.. like usually i can tell if that memory is from a dream but now I CANT.. so now i cant really trust myself.. hm.. but anyways.... I WAS THIKING::; GODDAMMIT I HATE HAVING TRICHOTILLOMANIA AND BASICALLY that means i have issues with tearing or RIPPING out my own hair although my issue is a bit more risky due to me ripping out my damn EYE LASHES and so now i fear getting a retinal detachment? i think thats whats its called i cant remember i saw it somewhere OHB AHABHABHJA THERES GREAT THING I MUST SAy and basically me and friend in 4th grade made up are own little slang in wich friction=sex and we thought that was FUNNNNNYYYY AHAHAHAHAHA it still makes me smile mwhheheheheheheh..... hm. ok i think my hyperness is wearing off... aw man.. hm........ well the weather has been nice, huh? NOT! very crappy but i do not care. i was thinking about the future and i thought HEY! what will i bewhen im older? a prostitue? and so that also reminded me that of antinatalism which i very much enjoy!!! it intrigues me very much and basically i think and i probably wait i mean HOLD ON.............................. ok so yeah i may be an antinatalist.... yes ... sounds right... BUT I CANT BE SURE>>> i almost read the entire wikipedia page for it and its all fun but i was reading it in class when we were suppose to be reading something else but what we were assigned was very boring so i just read it instead but i kept falling asleep cuz its 1st hour, duh!!! but i read it previosuly and i was just trying to work my memory again i dunno.. and so like yeah. where do we go when we die?? well i am a realist so obviosuly we go back to the void BUT what if we do go to heaven? hmm.. well i bet its boring.. and hell? must be boring too... but i would also like the idea of reincarnation which i have been thinking of for a very long time since i was a wee lad and i believe it and i always thought of being reborn as a bunny but i really dont want to be reborn again... cuz i dont like living but! im not suicidal, only on sundays.. OH EYAH! that reminds me i was sent to teh counselors office for searching up a gg allin song HAAHAHHA it was so sfunny!!!! s i acted really cocky with the counselor and then i was reminded of my inner misogyny.. and yes.... i did have issues with misogyny.. uh huh... internalized, really. but i am trying not to be such an ass about it. i dont feel like that anyway.. only on sundays. OH YEAH>>>> wait nevermind. hm. what was i talking about.. OH YEAH so i truly believe i was never suppose to be born, so what does jesus or god or whatever do about the children who were accidents? thats right. he does nothing about them... so im kinda alone i guess... WELL IM USED TO THAT!!!! maybe thats why i am not blessed and have been a very unlucky person?? well.. i dunno. i guess yeah. im not very lucky. but im fine with that. AND I DUNNO ABOUT U GUYS but when someone confesses they like you it just disgusts me.. it feels violating.. gives me a horrible sick feeling in me. im saying this because last time i was confessed to which was last year i thought about killing myself for a week straight i think and became really self conscious of myself and i was all like: EWW YUCK HOW>??? i was pissed off for about.. hmm 5 months after the event?? took me a while for myself to become less hostile to that person. now we are good friend but every now and then the feelings come back and i think of killing them.. hey confessor if u see this SORRY!!!! but anyways speaking of killing i have realized.. hmm.. im not as violent as i used to be. you see when i was a very little wee lad i was very much fixated on the idea to kill small animals, and that immediatley gies the m=imp IMPRESSION that i ama  sociopath but you are wrong. i think i was just way more disturbed back then. i was like 6-7 years old dont blame me. but when i did get my hands on that bird.. heehhe well i kidnapped it and i dont remember but i did partake in throwng it.. i dont know why. i tried to care for it but it died. i really wanted to squeeze its body and stuff.. glad i didnt. rest in peace little bird. hmm.. but I GUESS i was partake and partook in too and parred with punching my friends sometimes BUT ONLYclose close friends. wich i i do not see anymore. .. .  sad.... my friend.. WIAT WIAY i just remebered hat got me to watch borat in the first place!!! it was when i was at the thrift store and i saw him!! my beloved borat and it hought he was sooo cute like a little puppy but father said not to watch it so i was like... oh..okay.... its good though because my virgin eyes could not handle borat in blu-ray quality. NOT! it wasnt a blu-ray. wait i had another idea. its fading..... hm.. well okay.. i think im done. i love the smell of weed... but only the aged smell... its wonderful. ever since kindergarten i was hooked. and thats not an exaggeration. 

The series finale of Voyager has Janeway go back in time and deliberately put herself at risk of dying at the hands of her most feared enemy because even after getting her ship home, she refused to accept a timeline where her one of her best friends is suffering from an incurable form of dementia and the other is dead. "Badass who gets things done" rips out the emotions of the character entirely. Is she a badass? Sure. Does she get things done? Absolutely. But she's also so consumed with guilt that she risks a fate worse than death. Even if you're not paying attention to the entire show, the ending episode alone should've explained to LO that Janeway isn't a #girlboss, she's a complicated character. She's willing to rewrite a quarter of a century of history to make a timeline in which Chakotay and Tuvok are okay even knowing it means breaking the Temporal Prime Directive, punishable by death if she's caught. She's guilty, upset, stubborn, future Janeway calls her past self stubborn and self-righteous, and present day Janeway doesn't have an argument against that assessment of herself. The fact that the conflict between the two is "which of our plans to fix everything at the risk of killing ourselves do we go with" should, in and of itself, be enough to get LO or any other viewer to realize she's not a remorseless Aliana style badass. She cares so deeply it's the cause of 90% of her character flaws.

The kicker here is that I don't even like Voyager! I hated large chunks of it, I have so many complaints about the main cast I could write a book and I wrote an actual college paper on the problems in the finale. It's the second worst Star Trek series! I have whole seasons I don't think are worth rewatching but even I know better than to reduce Janeway to some murderous badass as if her whole personality is to be unfeeling and cool. She puts up the facade of being cool and collected but that's an act and we see it dropped constantly AND the finale calls it out at great length!

LO reduces complex characters down to one or two traits. If she likes them, they're cold badasses (Kuvira, Janeway) whose crimes are excused (Magneto, Kuvira) who she views as having done nothing wrong. When she hates them, they become irredeemable regardless of whatever they did wrong (the entire SU rant episode and most characters discussed). If they undergo character growth, that's bad and they're poorly written and the authors are authoritarian/Nazi sympathizers (Starlight Glimmer, Pink Diamond). This often goes hand-in-hand with demonization of characters who are not friendly to her faves (Korra and LO's mockery of her PTSD being the most egregious example) and being willing to overlook problematic elements in a show with a character she likes (antisemitism is fine because Harley is hot so who cares).

None of this is unique to her. A lot of neckbeards and whatever the lady equivalent is do this. This media illiteracy and moral myopia is common among the chronically online and self-centered. But she has influence over a large audience primarily composed of children, and what she's teaching them is that nuance is nonexistent, everything is black and white, racism/antisemitism/bigotry is fine if you're cool enough, murder/violence equals power and power equals morality, and to be in the right means all of your decisions are good automatically/to be accepted without question.

The problem isn't any one of her bad takes on characters. The problem is her presenting herself as a media analyst with intelligence who should be trusted by young people as an authority figure. Her work is aimed at teens but she herself is unable to understand characters who she's seen since her age was in the single digits.

(And I'm sure someone will try to use her being neurodivergent to excuse this, but she's old enough to know better. I'm ND and I don't pull this shit, and I'm younger than her.)

that has always been the worst aspect of LO, isn't it? it's the dychotomy between she acting as if she has a better idea of what is happening than anyone else while constantly showing her various limitations to media analysis.

I can not FUCKING believe that Elon Musk is just...gonna get away with tanking Twitter.

He said he'd buy it as a joke, then goaded himself into saying he was really gonna do it, and then was FORCED to buy it because his mouth LITERALLY wrote a check that he had to cash.

And every single change he's made has been a disaster! Even the Elon Defence Squad has struggled to justify the post limits, or the forced verifications, or paid checkmarks.

Everybody still thinks the new name is stupid (and, by the way, if he doesn't have the common god-damn courtesy to properly recognize his daughter's name and gender, I'm under no obligation to acknowledge his fetish for the letter x). And now he's floating this stupid fucking $1 a year charge. Just like every change, he says this is about curbing spam, ND just like every other change he's made, he's lying. He's sunk BILLIONS, the GFP of several nations, into plugging the holes THAT HE'S PUNCHING IN HIS OWN SHIP, and he's trying to produce revenue quickly to attempt to bail himself out. But he's also saying he's going to pull access to the platform from the entirely of Europe! So he's going to yet again shoot himself in the mangled, viscous mass that was once his foot out of more spite and inflated pride.

And he's just going to sink Twitter entirely. It will go cemetery tits-up, and then he's going to grouse to all the tech mags that "twitter was always a losing prospect. It never had the infrastructure to pull itself into the future, and no amount of tweaking on my part was going to undo the nosedive it was in" even though every single problem has been a product of the

Elon Musk Mistake Generator 8000

And all his fucking tesla drone are going to come out and say "Yes! Even the prophet's mind-dick couldn't straighten out the problem, it could never have been fixed in the first place!"

Like, I HATE Twitter. I think it's real stupid, and have never signed up. But it would be even more stupid to pretend like it hasn't been important for the process of quickly sharing breaking information as quickly as possible. This debacle in Gaza with the baptist hospital would have NEVER taken the shape it has if we were still on pre-twitter social media. The triggerhappy dipshits in the Isreali military might have taken at least a second to consider their messaging, to say nothing of determining IF THEY FUCKING BLEW UP THE RIGHT BUILDING, if every group and individual weren't expected to be their own journalist and update the world on their activities as they happen. But as it is, they sent the stupid fucking "yeah, it was us" tweet before deleting it and acting like screenshots don't exist, and in less that 12 hours the whole complexion of western response to this latest war changed.

And withing a few years, it's not going to be like that anymore. Twitter will dissappear like a fart in a wind tunnel, and nobody with any self-respect is going to use Blue Jeans or whatever, so we'll be stuck with more languid blogging options like, god keep and preserve us, facebook. And it will be all Musk' fault, and he'll face absolutely nk consequences at all.

homecoming!

first post!! ive never really blogged before so this is exciting but I really just want a place to scream into the ether and tal about whatever I want.... I used to keep a journal but id only write in it every three months or so and I haven't written in it in at least a year and I'm afraid to read it now.... anyway

as sophomore year has began for me I have been experiencing a lot of emotions (which isn't entirely out of the norm but at the same time it is) and I never really open up to people so I want somewhere to talk about things rather than bottling it up since im no longer in therapy

omfg grammarly is smothering my entire text page

anyway! homecoming was tonight and it was a disaster!!! well not entirely but I thoroughly did not enjoy it.... I got to the before at O's house* and I didn't want to talk to anyone when I got this like sharp pain in my abdomen and my first thought was like..... oh fuck I have appendicitis! which is so scary and annoying bc I'm going to ALL THINGS GO tomorrow and I wouldn't be able to attend if I had fucking appendicitis.. so I sat around for a little and then I sat in the car for a but, then my mom took me home where I had so much fucking diahreahha... like there was actual liquid coming out of my ass.. idk why but I think it was the combination of all the coffee nd shit I had and then the food plus my nerves. I made it back in time before we left and then we went to the dance where it was just so fucking bad like I hate dances so much I cant even rlly get into that but I had so many awkward interactions.

then we went to paiges and it was chill at first until people started getting drinks out, and HP wouldn't give me a drink... which is like whatever but she had said before that she would. I don't want to act like she was obligated too bc that. bitchy but in the moment it was annoying, I don't blame her it was js confusing... then I venmod O again, who I had decided before that I wasn't even speaking to for reasons that I said I would write about later... and she kept avoiding me which isn't out of character for her lately and then later when I told her again that I nemod her she acted like she hadnt ever told me she was gonna give me a drink and sent the money back at least. HR also told me she would give me a drink but she was SO FUCKING WEIRD ab it too like she always is. Anyway everybody at that party was being annoying as fuck and it was also just bad... and I know I'm not above these parties, I'm literally so irrelevant but I'm still aware of how ass that was.. I went home afterward I don't think anybody gaf. Im trying not to sound like super selfish or unaware of how dumb I sound rn but like I'm tired af and I'm just writing to express how I feel I'm not trying to say anyone in this case is morally in the wrong I'm just upset so shut the fuck up if future me is like omggg I was so annoying why was I complaining about that

I wish I had different friends but I know mine are the best I can do and that I'm lucky to have them and I like them all as people but most of them treat me like shit or a joke and I just don't want to deal with that

I just wish I was drunk idk I think ill be an alchoholic at some point idgafffff anything to not deal

*nts make a name list for reference

On the topic of picking at the lore of Ultima Thule, I want your thoughts on something that I keep saying to my friends but none of them seem to grasp.

Zenos.

I understand that most people hate him, but to me, he represents an important concept in the narrative message of Endwalker, and Ultima Thule specifically.

All throughout UT, the Scions talk about very typical ways to combat despair. Believe things will get better. Plan for the future even if you think you don't have one. To me, it's all very... "just think happy thoughts". It's trite and fictional and unattainable.

But Zenos, to me, represents a much more attainable type of resistance, particularly for ND people like myself:

Goals. Zenos wants thing. Zenos is aware of despair but it's not relevant because he wants thing.

I'm probably phrasing this badly, but I'd like your thoughts on this take on Zenos during the final events, if you're willing.

All right, let's go below the cut for it then.

To start, I don't think "just think happy thoughts" is what's going on for the Scions; it's more of a fight and hold out hope for a future for others without expectation of seeing it themselves, which is their goal, even if not stated as blatantly as Zenos. It's all for each other, and/or for the WoL, and mostly for the people of Eitherys--not themselves. Also, don't forget the boys' beach conversation very early in Thavnair, where Estinien and Thancred talk about their own worst moments of depression, pain, and even suicidal thoughts.

The Scions have their various hangups and traumas and issues, focusing on what they can do for others even if they can't for themselves. Their response to their various pains are to do something about them and ensure things get better because they tried to make it better, even if there comes a day they don't see those results--which they respond to Meteion/her recreations with a few times when they say "yeah, we're going to die one day, and all our dreams and good and bad works with us--so what? What we do now matters."

(Also there are actual recovery/treatment methods consisting of training oneself to think neutrally, then positively, over time, as a way to combat the various ways our brains can lie to us depending on one's situation, but that's best worked out with a decent therapist, when finally finding one)

That said, Zenos is another angle of the spectrum of ways of dealing with despair. He's had a lot of experiences that would be traumatic as well, but he doesn't bother dealing with any of it. None of it really matters to him. His response to Jullus in Garlemald really puts forth his philosophy best; life has no meaning but what one gives it. It's a very True Nihilist approach, which is not that life sucks so nothing matters, it's that life has no meaning unless we decide it does. It's also An answer to Hermes' questions, and a good point, if made by one of the worst people we know.

The Scions are selfless in their trauma responses to despair and the goals they set to combat it. Zenos is selfish; he has his goal and he doesn't really care about anything or anyone else in the process of attaining it. He incidentally causes pain in others because they really don't matter to him--only his goal does, and it's no excuse for what he does to his own people, let alone the Domans and Mhigans.

He only agrees to help because in the frustration of realizing the WoL isn't going to care about him until they've set aside their distractions, he had to concede Alisaie had a point; no one cared about Zenos because he made himself shunned and irrelevant with those selfish goals. People are inherently social creatures, even us introverts, and Zenos stands outside social contracts by choice.

(though he does work best as a wandering blood knight, not a political or military leader who's boredom and doing nothing is the only reason we free Doma and Ala Mhigo; so much of my annoyance regarding Zenos is just his poor intro and nonsense actions in Stormblood. It was a Zenos fan who pointed out you can remove him from that story and nothing actually changes, which is bad writing for a primary antagonist meant to mirror the Assumed Default PC Hero).

So Zenos helps out in Endwalker, but only because it gets him what he wants. He has no angst because he really doesn't see meaning to life outside of his own chosen, too-narrow focus. He's a lonely, broken little boy who never grew out of his "me me me" bully stage. He doesn't grasp reasons to care enough to have angst. Which works, but not in a good way. He is still meant to be a villain, but I don't think that they succeeded in making him a tragic one, though tragedy is there in the background.

Besides, he got everything he truly wanted. He won, cue the victory fanfare.

I didn't mind the fight in the end. I knew it had to come, I rolled my eyes a bit, laughed a little, and thought the cutscene work was excellent. It works for a Generic Default WoL, mileage will vary on how one likes the fight for one's own WoL, let alone how one cares about Zenos. It's a very Final Fantasy ending harking back to some other games and fitting for the character.

As for the grouses that he should be able to come back yet again; it took a miracle, a desire for home/life/etc for the WoL to get out--but Zenos doesn't have that. He had everything he wanted right there. The Ragnarok is nowhere near the Final Day subdimension (also the "two places at once" thing feels like gameplay with a story lampshade thrown on, rather than story using gameplay elements; there's a difference). As for "being an Ascian in all but name," he's black mask level. He needed a body nearby the last time he accidentally committed metempsychosis, like they did; there isn't any out there. Maybe with time he'd have grown to red mask levels, but most of his power was his own, with the Resonance giving him some handy new tools in his already impressive arsenal.

Also frankly, the writers played with too much of a good thing in Stormblood with all the returns of thought-dead characters. Zenos got what he wanted, and it's good fight with a cool finale. It'd be hard to take him, or the writing team, seriously if they brought him back again, IMO.

I am really interested in what his avatar's gonna do now that they're back in the Thirteenth and freed of the pact, though. Who are they, what do they want, were they influenced by Zenos? Time will tell.

hi hi !!! i just wanna congratulate you with 2k ! you deserve it sm <33

as for the event ,, is it ok if i could request scara nd albedo (you can add another chara of your choice if you'd like !) with e, j, o, u, v ?? and if possible make it real angsty 😈😈 like arrow to the heart, puffy red eyes angsty 😈

alphabet prompt 2k special

prompts can be found here

E, J, O, U, V

includes: albedo and scaramouche

a/n: IM SORRY I DON’T THINK I WAS ABLE TO MAKE THIS AS ANGSTY AS YOU WANTED but we all know i love angst so these could definitely be used as templates for the future <3 also thank u so much !!

albedo

e — ending (if they had to, how would they end the relationship?)

albedo doesn’t like confrontation — he’s scared to hurt you and he honestly just doesn’t want to deal with certain problems, especially relationship problems. so it he had to end a relationship, i think he’d wait as long as possible, slowly pushing you away so it wouldn’t hurt so bad.

j — jealousy (do they get jealous? if so, how easily?)

he rarely experiences jealousy, and he hates it when he does. because he doesn’t understand it. so it’s pretty rare for him to be jealous.

o — open (how open are they to you about their feelings?)

he’s not very open. he finds emotions hard to understand so even if he wanted to, he couldn’t get into it. he prefers to have you open up to him.

u — understanding (do they understand your thoughts and such?)

he tries to understand, he really does. and thanks to you, he has started to understand more. but it’s exhausting trying to do so. he hopes he’s getting the hang of it.

v — validation (how do they make you feel valid in your relationship with them?)

validation is where he definitely falters a bit. he doesn’t understand why you would need it; is what he does already not enough? it may even play a part in why he feels a need to end the relationship.

scaramouche

e — ending (if they had to, how would they end the relationship?)

scara is very blunt and upfront. if he wants to end the relationship, he will. he won’t take your feelings into account (which may end up being something he regrets.)

j — jealousy (do they get jealous? if so, how easily?)

he gets jealous, and he isn’t scared to know if you know that. he hates it when anyone makes you laugh. he hates seeing how other people look at you. he feels stupid for feeling that way, but he can’t help it.

o — open (how open are they to you about their feelings?)

he’s as open as he can be — obviously it was too hard to hide the fact he was a harbinger so he didn’t really have any other choice. he only feels comfortable opening up about certain things, though. there’s so much you don’t know about him and probably never will. even if you try to get him to open up about it, he won’t.

u — understanding (do they understand your thoughts and such?)

he can be understanding but also very… not understanding. sometimes he’ll just straight up tell he doesn’t get why you’re upset about something or acting a certain way even though he’d hate if someone did the same thing to him.

v — validation (how do they make you feel valid in your relationship with them?)

he actually does provide you with validation, albeit it’s only to make you feel better if he gets tired of you being upset. usually something along the lines of “we’re dating, dummy. of course i love you.” and things like that.