#n e ways have a nice day y'all <3
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I need Americans that were never Christian™️ to realize that the average conservative cult christian's thoughts are basically that one episode of Spongebob where he gets elected Hall Monitor and gives a speech with "Crime and Punishment. Punishment and Crime"
#christians see themselves as the hall monitors of the earth essentially#and everyone needs to be punished and have their good noodle stars taken else they'll commit arson#they genuinely believe that as soon as you stop policing people they'll delve into their deepest darkest fantasies and start committing sins#that even Jesus Christ himself didn't think of#they come from the idea that they are the only group capable of keeping things steady until Sky Papa can make his way down and fuck shit up#So when you do something bad it's because you fell into the pull of destruction#But when they do it's the equivalent of stepping on your dog's foot because they almost tripped you#I still think it's funny a bunch of christians are creationist tho lmao skill issue#My grandparents are but my dad isn't#he believes evolution essentially occurred over the same time the earth was being created#and the story of adam being made from dust was a metaphor and literal#he was made from dust made from decomposing animals and plants which he used to create us as a more perfect being#so now we continue to evolve because we're connected to the dust and can continue to try to improve#so my dad believes in evolution and went to college for biology and chemistry at the biggest HBCU in the US#That evolution/creationist tangent was completely unrelated but all twitter is for me rn is ppl freaking out about our rights being taken#I avoid twitter most of the time but like to look at my friends' and fav artists' tweets#and recently I think little joel made a video about the evolution video that was trending so yea#n e ways have a nice day y'all <3#I've been wanting to make more hehe hahas but everything in my brain rn is Undergraduate Thesis level shit#so I haven't really been reading or writing things I can talk about on Tumblr.Com ya know?#most of it is sociological textbooks memoirs and similar stuff that Id feel talking about on my casual blog#maybe Ill make a blog. like Blog blog for my essays one day#ex christian#religious trauma
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Steven Adler NSFW Alphabet <3
Tw: NSFW, smut smut smutty smut!! (Too lazy to name everything sorrrryyyy, I'll try), fluff!!, somewhat descriptive smut, breeding kink, mentions of threesome, mentions of drunk sex, masterbation,
A = aftercare
This boy wants to make sure you're okay, gives you amazing cuddles and kisses, cleans you up. If he and you aren't too tired he'll run you a nice warm bath!! <33
B = Body part
His favorite part of you in your chest, loves jizzing on there. And your thighs, likes cumming on there too!! :3 his favorite part of himself are his arms, he can just wrap them around you and rail you relentlessly :3
C = Cum
He loves cumming in you (BREEDING KINK :0), on your chest, and oh boy does he love watching it drip from you just to push it back into you!! :3 he also makes sure you cum first, such a gentleman huh?
D = Dirty secret
Wants to get you pregnant, so badly. Poor baby has a breeding kink. Also wants to have a threesome with you, definitely not with axl... he's too cocky, maybe Duff, Slash, or Izzy?
E = Experience
Good boy knows what he's doing, makes sure you're having a good time, and hes havin' a good time :3
F = Favorite position
Definitely like the spilling bamboo, or mating press because then he can just pin you down and breed you :3
G = goofy
He's prob a little giggly if he's drunk, but if it's baby making he's not giggling but definitely making alot of noise. (Such a noisy boy)
H = Hair
He's pretty hair, mean just look:
Hairy boy means hairy private. Drapes match the carpet, maybe a little bit darker. But he understands if you want him to shave, he's just a lil lazy :P
I = Intimacy
He can be rough and fast, soft and fast, rough and slow. Anyway you want it (THATS THE WAY YOU NEED IT‼️), *cough.* Anyway. Whatever you want, he'll give you <3
J = Jack off
Since poor Steven is on tour quite a bit, he does tend to jerk off a lot, especially on call with you (if you dont go with him). He likes watching you jerk him off sometimes— but why jerk off when you're there?
K = kink
He has a major, a big breeding kink. He has has a little bit of a degrading kink, just a little. But loves watching you cry from pleasure, and squirm around <3 also lives being praised??
L = Location
He's scared of doing anything in public, poor boy doesn't want to get caught. He loves bending you over anywhere at home though! The sofa, bed, counter tops, ECT.
M = Motivation
Tight or small clothes (definitely gets a boner in public/in general if he sees you in a dress or skirt), you teasing him, small things can get him bricked up.
N = No
Will not hurt you, if it's like a playful slap to the butt then yeah obviously. But if you want him to flow blown hurt you super bad. No, absolutely not. Also other icky bodily fluids, nope.
O = Oral
He loves receiving head, and giving. Prefers receiving, but will give you head :3 he's also pretty good at it.
P = Pace
Poor boy doesn't last that long, he gets really tired easily. Maybe two rounds on a super good day, three is too many.
Q = Quickie
Hates quickies, prefers taking his time with you :3
R = Risk
It depends on what new thing y'all trying.
S = Stamina
Poor boy gets tired easily and can't last that long, but he tries for you, usually fails.
T = Toys
Has a few toys for you like vibrators, teases the fuck out of you with it.
U = Unfair
He's pretty fair with you, if you're getting punished he's all about being unfair. But if he's in a submissive state, all whiny n stuff. He hates being teased.
V = Volume
When he's dominating you he grunts and groans, rather loudly too. Almost like an animalistic growling. When he's submissive he's such a whiny boy, and he whimpers.
W = Wild card
Likes his hair being tugged at, weather he's dominating you or he's a submissive good boy :3
X = X-ray
Alrighty. He's probably got a good 5-6 inches? Nice thick-ish tip, is thicker at the base and gets slightly thinner. His tip is a little lighter than the rest of him, and it's like a jungle down there. Large happy trail, drapes match the carpet, maybe a little darker.
Y = Yearning
He can't go that long, 1 or 2 rounds.
Z = Zzzz
Depends on how many rounds y'all did. He falls asleep super quick if it's been 2 or 3 rounds, but if it was only 1 he takes care of you then sleeps.
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SORRY FOR NOT POSTING RECENTLYYYYY
#guns n roses#axl rose#duff mckagan#izzy stradlin#slash guns n roses#steven adler#steven adler x reader#x reader#80s rock#izzy stradlin x reader#axl gnr
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your existence
like your shining smile, you brighten up my world with your existence
word count : 1.9k words
genre : fluff; when hanni comes over to blue rain for her cup of coffee but after you clocked in to work; florist!hanni x fem!reader (a year older than hanni); BREAKING: actual sighting of two lovesick puppies
t/w : none :)
a/n : here's part 2 as requested by y'all <3 there will be a part 3 with the way I ended this but it will take some time as I have loads of assignments to finish :') meanwhile, here's this to enjoy !!
usually, the florist comes over real early for her regular vanilla latte, making her the first customer of the day. however, she decides to sleep in a little before starting her routine, and you decided to show up a little earlier after running late twice. (chaewon was going to cut your pay and you were here to make some extra to buy that switch)
that meant, chaewon would usually be the one opening the shop to make the first drink of the day for hanni. you, being a nice friend and employee decided to open the shop for her this time round because fingers crossed, minju might actually let you off early on some days when she comes to know of your good deed. (or maybe you just know your crush comes over early for her coffee and you want to see the most beautiful person in the world to start your day)
you pedaled harder than usual with spring love songs playing in your earphones, scaring chaewon a little when you blasted your spring playlist in the cafe because you were one grumpy kid during the season of spring. (she had experienced it thrice and was extremely ready to get you to try a dating app)
it was undeniable that even you yourself, felt that you were more giddy and giggly recently, because of a certain someone who works at the florist shop that is two lots before blue rain. it took you some time to realize that you were crushing on her and when you told chaewon and minju, the two looked at each other before hugging you at the same time. they were so proud that you finally like someone, perhaps even love, as they were so worried you might actually die alone in the future. (jokes aside, they genuinely thought you were asexual at one point)
although it was slightly tough trying to open the cafe on your own for the first time, you did a pretty good job at managing things. coffee machines, tables and chairs, windows, floors, even the storage room. you made sure everything was in place before you flipped the 'closed' sign to 'open'. the clock struck 8 and your favourite person should step in anytime soon to get her usual vanilla latte. (the coffees weren't your expertise, but you learnt the vanilla latte specifically from chaewon so that you'd be able to make her favourite drink anytime she drops by)
30 minutes passed by and still no sign of her. it was weird since she was always on time with opening the shop, and you were growing worried that she might be sick and decided to close for the day. if that was the case, you'd clock out this instant to check up on her. how did you come to know where she lived? you decided to offer to walk her back one day when you were about to ride back to your place, seizing the chance to spend more time with your crush.
she gladly accepted your offer, the smile on your face widening so obviously that the girl had to look away to stop herself from smiling too, and from falling even harder for you than she already did. riding your bike would take less than 5 minutes but walking would take about 15 and no way were you choosing the bike. she was the one who asked, and seeing how you refused to ride and walk instead, made her feel hopeful that you felt the same way that she did. (at first, it was one lovesick puppy, now it's two)
just as you were ready to grab your coat, the bell on the door rang as it opened, revealing the one and only person you had been waiting in nervousness the entire morning.
"morning, unnie! I didn't think I'd see you here this early."
hanni flashes you her signature smile that literally has your heart skip a beat, each and every time without failure. somehow, you wish it stays that way because the butterflies makes you feel all giddy on the inside, and the only person who succeeds in doing it is her.
"good morning, hanni. you know, just happened to wake up early. the usual right?"
when you tried your best and you don't succeed. yeah, the nonchalant reply did nothing to mask the intention of yours to see her and even have her drink order embedded in your head.
"hmm, I come here so often that you remember my orders."
as you keyed in her order into the cashier, she leans closer to the machine, looking at you from an angle that has you swooning over her adorable antics, but you did a fairly good job at hiding it from your face.
"of course, you're our favourite customer."
"are you sure? or am I your favourite customer?"
but her flirting always gets you down bad for her, it's like she has done this many times before. the thought of it kills you on the inside a little but you didn't jump to conclusion on the spot, knowing it's not right to do so. (and to be honest, hanni's been in a relationship only once and that was back in elementary school. so that's invalid, meaning she just really loved teasing you and see you turn into a red tomato)
"o-of course! chaewon-unnie and minju-unnie likes you a lot too..."
a red tomato you turned into indeed. to ease down that burning blush, you attempted to cool down by running your hand down your nape. but every time you feel like you calmed down, she pulls another move on you to make you turn into a darker shade of red.
"aww, that's a shame, cause you are my favourite barista."
"I'll get your drink done in a few minutes!"
all you could do was look away and shut your eyes close, distracting yourself with work so you don't hyperventilate and walk over the counter to hug hanni. the urge was so strong, but so was your self control. (at times like this, why is your self control so good? it should be like this when you shop)
"cute..."
while you were trying your best to avoid eye contact due to your very evident crimson ears, hanni just stared harder from the side. she found the way that you were just so shy but tried hard to not be, extremely endearing.
and one of the reasons is because she likes you so much that everything about you was adorable to her. you being slightly shorter, the dimples that appear when you laugh, your habit of scrunching your nose occasionally. this girl was head over heels for you but you were so dense, you could never tell. (and her too, that you literally just blush so hard because you like her, a lot. she thought you were just a really shy person)
"here's your vanilla latte, have a great day!"
you were trying very hard to brush away those compliments from your mind and tell yourself that she was just being friendly. although hanni was really just blatantly flirting with you, quoted from chaewon. for real, it made her so frustrated that you two really were just two dumb puppies who couldn't realize each other's feelings for one another.
"thanks unnie! and no worries, it's already extremely great when I get to see my favourite barista."
as you handed her the cup, the slight brush of her hand over yours drove your brain into overdrive and you just stopped functioning. it didn't help that she even winked at you as she said that before stepping out of the cafe to head back to the florist shop.
all you could do was stand there like an idiot you are, again quoted from chaewon. you could always trust her to roast you like no tomorrow but she only does that because she cares for you like you're her little baby sister. (she actually shed a tear when you told her that you have feelings for hanni)
speaking of the devil, the front door opens revealing her as she steps in with knitted brows due to you having your mouth open with widened eyes.
"what are you doing?"
just as you heard her speak, that was only when you snapped out of your daze.
"hanni just called me her favourite barista..."
"well, congratulations on finally realizing."
the unsurprised and dry tone made you glare at her, a huge contrast of whatever happened earlier. if hanni made you feel butterflies and brightened up the store like the sun, chaewon's reply brought the rain with her. very inclined with the cafe's name.
"you knew?"
"oh my god, you're one clueless idiot."
you clearly saw how she rolled her eyes, as if being very done with whatever she's going through. (of course she is, she literally has to witness every time hanni drops by and see you two all giggly like high school girls)
"and what's that supposed to mean?"
"exactly what it's suppose to mean."
all she really wishes is for you and hanni to get together as soon as possible cause this whole situation is just so suffocating for her. her and minju didn't even last a week of flirting cause chaewon quite literally asked her to be her girlfriend when they were on their third date. by giving her a kiss by the way. (if you were on a bicycle, she was on a bulldozer)
"I hate you."
although you muttered under your breath, if it comes to things said about her (and her girlfriend), she develops an amazing sense of hearing. and you really just wish that you kept your mouth shut during these kind of times.
"I heard that, and I'll be cutting out three days of salary from your total."
"I love you so much, ms. chaewon. you're the best boss. I'll head to the storeroom to check on the stocks."
flashing your capitalist smile, you headed to the back knowing she'll let you off the hook. chaewon might make it seem like she's annoyed and very done with you, but it makes you feel very warm. being the only child in the family, you've always wished to have a brother or sister who you could rely on. you've always had a hard time expressing your feelings and thoughts, and without even needing to say anything, she's always there for you to lean onto. just like a sister.
you smile to yourself, thinking about how you've come to enjoy your days recently. chaewon, minju, and hanni. you couldn't ask for more from god cause he blessed you with the existence of these three people in your life. a sister, a good friend, and? a crush?
leaning back against the wall, you wondered. crush doesn't really sound that nice. perhaps you should make it girlfriend. yeah, that rolls off your tongue so much better. maybe you should finally confess, after 3 months of meeting hanni. you do have to admit that after she appeared in your life, days have been nothing but cherry blossoms and spring breezes for you. you constantly remind yourself that you were the person who hated spring with their guts.
you changed the moment you met her that day where those baby breaths and lemon candies brought you two together, and that's when you knew.
her existence made you love spring, as she was your spring.
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#hanni#pham hanni#newjeans#newjeans fluff#newjeans imagines#newjeans scenarios#newjeans x reader#new jeans x reader#hanni x reader#Spotify
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I should be into this guy
a/n: maya has been on my mind ALL DAY and idk if it's cause i love her or if it's cause i want a gf😭 but yeah slay i hope y'all enjoy this and credit to the gif owner! <3
“Have you ever had a crush on a boy?”
Robin choked on the soda she was drinking and coughed violently.
“Jesus Christ Robin!” You exclaimed while rushing to her and patting her back.
It was spring break and your parents went on vacation, but you had work so you decided to stay home. The key word here is had. After arguing with your manager about not getting enough hours you quit days before your parents left, but they didn't need to know that. You decided to stay back in Hawkins while you just hung out with friends, well, Robin.
Robin was panting, trying to catch her breath. She looked over at you with rosy cheeks and wide eyes.
“What? Where- where did that even come from?”
You sat on your bed and shrugged your shoulders.
“I just never heard you talk about liking any guys.”
Robin focuses on the picture you have pinned up of you and her. Robin had to be the person who fell for her best friend, it was already hard being in the closet, but it was even worse because of her crush on you. Steve insists that she can tell you about it but she shuts him down claiming that you'd leave the second you found out she likes girls. All the sleepovers, the times you've changed in front of her, you'd lose your mind if you found out!
“I talk about guys…” she mumbled.
You shake your head. “You talk about Steve, but not any other guys. Unless…”
Robin gagged and you let out a laugh at her reaction.
“No way! Plus he's still hung up on Nancy.”
You smirk at her. “So if he wasn't you'd date him?”
“No! Steve is just a friend. F-r-i-e-n-d. You know what that is right?”
You rolled your eyes and threw a pillow at her.
“I know what a friend is! I have plenty.”
“No, you don't, I'm your only friend.”
You make your way over to her and wrap her in a tight hug.
“That's true, but I wouldn't trade you for the world. You wanna order pizza?”
Why? Why did you have to say things like that to Robin? Her cheeks are flushed and they hurt from how big her smile is. She nods her head, clearing her throat before she pulls away from you.
“Pizza sounds good.”
You smile and make your way toward the phone ordering pizza for you both. Robin watches you with starry eyes as you sit on your nightstand and bring your knee up to your chest while the other is dangling off the nightstand. You're wearing a baggy t-shirt with a pair of house shorts. Robin knows you wouldn't agree with her but you look so beautiful like this. Your hair is in its natural state and your face is bare. Her eyes fall to your legs and she'd kill to have them wrapped around her. Not even in a sexual way, she just wants to have you in her arms and drown in you.
“Robin!”
She snaps out of her daze and looks at you.
“Is pepperoni okay with you?”
She slowly nods her head and smiles at you. “Yeah, sounds good,” she says breathlessly.
You turn your attention back to the phone and hang up with a smile.
“Okay, it'll be here in like thirty minutes or something. You wanna watch a movie?”
Robin nods her head, not trusting her voice. You grab her hand and drag her into the living room, Robin feels a bit embarrassed because she knows her hands are clammy and you either don't mind or you're nice enough to not say anything about it.
“Any preferences?”
Robin shakes her head and sits on the couch leaning against the armrest.
“Ghostbusters it is!”
“No! We saw that two weeks ago!” she said with a pout.
You look over your shoulder and stick your tongue out at her. “And now we're watching it today!”
You pop the tape into the VHS player and sit next to her. You both sit in comfortable silence, Robin stealing a few glances at you before you break the silence.
“Do you ever feel…different?”
“What do you mean?”
You take a shaky breath and play with the hem of your shirt.
“I mean, like…your whole life you're taught things, and you've always been taught how some things are right and some things are wrong.”
Robin nods her head. She places her hands on the cushion of the couch, adjusting herself so she can sit up straight.
“I still don't get what you're saying. Are you talking about math? Cause if you are I promise you I'm a lost cause.”
You laugh and shake your head. You look away from your hands and stare straight at the TV, not paying attention to what scene was playing.
“No, I'm not talking about math.” you stop for a while trying to find the right words to say what you want to say without directly saying it.
“I went on a date a couple of days ago.”
“Oh.”
You nod your head.
Robin clears her throat not daring to take her eyes off the TV.
“Was it nice?”
“It was, but…I didn't know. He was a nice guy. My parents would've liked him.”
“But?”
“I didn't like him.”
Your pinky lays on top of Robin’s and she stops breathing for a second. Her brain short circuits and she doesn't know what to do. You've held her hand before, but this is different.
“I'm supposed to like him,” you whisper. “but I didn't want to be on a date with him, I wanted someone else.”
Robin nods her head. Her hand is shaky but she slowly wraps her pinky around yours, similar to the many pinky promises you've made with each other.
“I know what you mean.”
Your hands are moving like magnets that finally found each other, and before you know it her hand is in yours. Your fingers interlock and you let out a breath that you didn't even realize you were holding in, you look out of your peripheral vision and see Robin biting her bottom lip trying to fight back the smile that's making way to her face.
“Robin?”
For the first time tonight, she meets your eyes.
“Yeah?”
You’re both leaning in, you know what's being said. Both of you saying everything without saying anything at all. You're inches away from each other, robin’s hand is now resting on your cheek and if you leaned in just a little more your lips would be on hers.
You both jump away from each other when you hear three knocks on the door and a muffled I have your pizza. You grab a crumpled 20 from your pocket and make your way to the door with Robin close behind. You hand the delivery guy the money telling him to keep the change. You take the pizza, close the door, and place the pizza on the small table near the door. You turn around and let out a squeal when Robin’s lips are on yours.
Your arms are thrown around her neck while her hands are resting on your waist. You've been kissed before but not like this. Robin is kissing you like there's no tomorrow, every single emotion she's feeling is being put into this kiss. You both pull away with wide eyes and shallow breaths. Robin lets out a giggle that turns into full-on laughter and tears are forming in her eyes. Your laugh soon joins her and you wipe away the tears that are streaming down her face.
“Why are you crying, Buckley?” you ask her while pulling her in for a bone-crushing hug.
Her hold on you never loosens and she's never felt so much joy before. She shakes her head and pulls away, wiping away the stray tears that are on her cheeks.
“You didn't like your date?”
“Not one bit.”
Robin swears her cheeks are going to be sore in the morning from how much she's smiling. Her hands are now on your face and her thumbs are gently rubbing your cheeks.
“Who'd you want to be on a date with?”
This is wrong. Society has told everyone from the beginning that it's not supposed to be like this, but why does it feel so right? If this is wrong, why does Robin’s hand fit in yours so perfectly? Why have you always gotten so nervous when she gives you cute nicknames? If something is wrong why does it feel so right? So natural. Being with Robin was by far the best and easiest thing for you, no one has ever made you feel the way Robin makes you feel.
“You. I wanted it to be you.”
Robin knew that's what you meant earlier, but to hear you say it? It was enough to bring tears to her eyes again, she never thought she could get the girl. It's something she just always accepted with how close-minded everyone is, especially in a small town like Hawkins.
“You mean it?” she whispers.
You nod your head and start to pull her in for another kiss when a knock on the door interrupts you two again. Robin let out a groan and swung the door open.
“You forgot your cheese sticks!” the delivery guy said with a smile.
You push Robin out of the way, thanking the delivery guy and kicking the door shut. Robin looks at you confused as if you just weren't about to kiss her.
“I don't play when it comes to my cheese sticks, Buckley.”
Robin steals one from the box smiling at the whine you let out as she eats it. Robin doesn't care that you pushed her, hell you could kick her out of the way and she wouldn't care. She's sure that she'll come around to love all of your little habits.
#robin buckley#robin buckley x female reader#robin buckley fluff#robin buckley blurb#robin buckley imagine#stranger things blurb#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#stranger things fluff
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"As someone who has an interest in Ukraine--"
you could say that.
YOU COULD SAY THAT.
That's an interesting way of saying that.
that's a weird, bizarre way of saying that as I sit and watch as my birthday gets closer. As I have to always and forever associate my birthday as the day russia invaded my birth mother's motherland (because it was still my birthday in my time zone). As I have to always and forever remember the following weeks as people-- people I thought were friends began to go and say things like 'go russia!' 'russia is right!' 'ukrainians deserve it'. As people who can't even find Ukraine on a fucking map say the dumbest fucking shit about Ukraine and Ukrainians. Begin to side with a country that 3 years ago they hated. Side with a country that I grew up always hearing was the bad guy but is suddenly the good guy and for why? because there are nazis in Ukraine. A country that murders Jews, Muslims, and LGBTQ people tells you there are nazis in Ukraine and you play along. And I feel like I'm in the fucking Twilight Zone. Hello, is this thing on? Am I being Punk'd?
And people can laugh and joke as much as they want. I'm certainly not saying don't do it. And they reblog the jokes about the Ukr tractors dragging off russki tanks. But when we ask you to reblog about ukrs sitting amongst broken glass from yet another drone attack where are you then? When we ask you to reblog about the death tolls from the russcist attacks on ukr infrastructure in winter where are you then? We say nothing justifies genocide and you nod and then you walk off and say nothing about P*tin's continuation of the russki genocide against the Ukrainian people. We ask you to scream it from the fucking rooftops and we get crickets. G E N O C I D E. It's not hard. (Hey hey hey did ya know the word genocide was brought into existence by a Polish Jew named Rafał aka Raphael Lemkin may his memory be a most beloved blessing? And that he saw the devastation of the russki genocide known as the Holodomor and worked tirelessly for years until his death for it to be recognized so his neighbors the Ukrainians saw justice? Be more like Rafał.)
We show you information on 100s of years of genocide and we get to just watch each other reblog it. Singing to the fucking ukrainian choir. But ha ha, those whacky Ukr farmers grabbing a russki tank! Gutsy folks disarming mines while they smoke a cigarette. Babusias defending themselves the way they have for years with crochet and homemade varenyky. Hey, russian warship go fuck yourself! What drones? What power plants? What do you mean Chornobyl has been under attack? It still exists? It's not just something in history books with a decrepit Ferris wheel in the neighboring city and radioactive doggos? The russkis bombed Babyn Yar and Drobitsky Yar, but it's cool because y'all got to reblog memes about nazi toilets and sinks. Laugh at our jokes but don't reblog about our dead and the war crimes.
We've survived for hundreds of years just fine. It would just be kinda nice not being the only ones remembering our martyrs. It would be kinda nice to not fight the fight alone. To see the Ukr military get the money it needs without fucking begging for it.
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Wally anon: No, it MUST be said that Hooper needed to stay dead. I know he was an important character & all, but the e n t i r e Russian plotline dragged S4 down when we damn well know Joyce could've been doing more important shit elsewhere. So, I'm right there with you on only wanting her to make it from the adults. Winona is the primary reason I started watching the show & they need to stop. sidelining her with the Russians & Hopper & w/e other nonsense they can think up when she was in the thick of shit in 1/2. As for S3, I controversially think the whole goopy, blobby ~consumes everything it touches~ concept is the show's best/scariest monster design & they REALLY dropped the ball not having it cause infinite more damage instead of just using it as an excuse to fully make Billy a villain & kill him off (& still be inconsistent about it cause we get his backstory and. him sacrificing himself, so it's like what do y'all want us to take from him djdgdb). The picking & choosing with characters is just too much to deal with sometimes. 💀
Ya'know, I had not even thought to consider what his full name is so that's a good thing to wonder lollll.
Yupyupyup. It's nice to have that security, but he knows it's very conditional on how well he performs & that's not what he actually wants to do, so it leads to this lonely limbo of kinda sorta contentment. I hope he's able to get a happier outcome as the series goes on (after he finds out more of who he is first) & if not, well, that's what fix-it fics are for. ❤️
In more ways than one, huh? @ inches. 🤫 It's not quite as pronounced for me (I'm 5'10), but 6'+ guys are still huge that it's impossible to not be into the difference on principle.
You're absolutely right about the detention. I feel his thoughts would be even more out of control than the norm cause there'd be nothing else to distract him. So he really lucked out being so charming fr. 👍
Oh, I can completely. visualize the finishing/moving to shake with the same hand djfbdb (spot on Wally headcanon). And you know he'd get even more excited by realizing you aren't a ghost & what that even means & trying to understand how it even happened. And, if you can actually touch him, how that would change things completely for his regular routine. Meanwhile, the entire time, you're still trying to wrap your head around the entire thing (double entendre for the situation itself & ~another thing~ cause the size).
I think what they give her to do in 3 and 4 lines up with her character but it really struggles to be tonally consistent. Season 3 in general is much more comedic and bright (which is why I think the Billy and big gloppy glop falls flat cause it’s in a season with more lighthearted themes). It’s just crazy that she was ready to throw hands with the demogorgon and go into the upside down to retrieve her son (which season 1 has the worst upside down, worst in the best sense because i mean it in violent, unknown, and scary.) But in Season 3 and 4 it’s russians, and terminator homages, and just stuff that’s so unserious. I hate it sm. At least the teens got a better story in s4 than the adults (minus Eddie.)
I wonder if it’s sewn into his underwear ugh that’s such a good way to find out what Wally is short for. (lmao it’s just kinda hot to see the name embroidered in there, because you know they’re his)
I hope he gets to be with Maddy but I can see that season 2 is leading into his downfall because if she gets her body back… she’s gonna get with Simon (no hate to him but Wally clears the floor.)
Dayum five ten is still taller than me by a mile😭 my best friend is 5’9” and he towers over me. But yeah, anyone taller than six feet deserved to be classified as a stratospherical disturbance
The ticking clock and the fact that he’s mere feet away from a teacher who would only have to give his attention to him. Wally would be having a field day in his head about it.
Oh totally, you’re trying to understand that ghosts are real and that you can talk to one of them and this ghost is packing some heat. There would definitely be long silences as you tried to pay attention in class, but he’s filling the empty seat next to you (but it still looks empty to everyone else.) If you can touch him, you can guarantee that he’s got you taking a “bathroom break” every class to sneak off and… well, I’ll let you decide the rest on that. Lunch periods are dine and dash type of events where you eat and hurry off with him elsewhere.
If you guys haven’t gotten to a physical relationship yet, it’s probably best to keep an eye out for him after phys. ed in the changing rooms, because he just might be there… (not in a creepy way, just hormonal teen way yk)
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it's finally time...
for episode 3!!!
please pardon my lateness- I had family over last week, and then I got the second booster shot and it knocked me out for a couple days!
But we're BACKKKK
And here's a Sonic for your troubles :)
Oh! And if you'd like to support my poor time management skills, I would greatly appreciate if you'd consider donating to my Kofi! haha. i'm. broke
!Warning!! Book/show spoilers ahead!
1:27
"Welp, guess they jumped overboard. Alright, back to dinner, everyone!"
2:38
How'd you get that figure? Did Kate tell you?
"Alright gang, stay calm, we don't want them to hear us. By the way, we're 120 feet over the ocean, so uh... don't look down."
2:47
Down? Shouldn't you have gone up??
3:12
...do you think constance has a evil plan pre-formed in case she ever decides to go rogue?
3:17
she hopped on the ruse train :)
y'all ever hear a good word and decide hm! nice word! i will use it Always from now on
3:47
what do you mean
4:55
Number Two's plan B is biological warfare!! love that for her
5:00
HDSGDJWAKYGASYDGAKDAGK
5:43
I think you can be as judgmental as you want when it comes to his second mind control scheme in as many years
6:12
fambly,,,
6:25
ahahahaaaaaaaa
ha
7:07
UNBOTHERED Q UE E N
8:08
????????????????????
noland HUH
8:20
babies-
9:05
JKUCAKYCAIUCKUICQHWXKKHGAJCSH DACAJHSHASGSAASU
constance wants a taste
9:59
gambling montage hell yeah!!
10:27
смерть или слава.
i absolutely love that they made her russian vsjdaskdf
11:45
GIRLBOSS
i know nothing about gambling so that was. interesting to watch with no context jasfkjs
11:58
please let the pie truck be connected to moocho in some way please pl
12:41
"I'm highly concerned about the lion in this cave. Oh, what's that? I've stumbled upon a pile of meat and am being invited to sit on it? Well, why not?"
12:54
no it ain't, nathaniel
13:57
roll credits kinda!
14:20
YES TRUEEEE
impromptu parenting seminar with ms perumal. we love to see it
15:23
hehehe! same. haaaaaaaah
16:13
gfhjhgfhgh
okay but how is that considered cheating?? it's a strategy!
16:24
and NO SHAME
17:22
i mean... true enough
then again i somehow doubt this is a legal operation so if you're stealing from criminals, two wrongs make a right! /j
17:43
GIRL PLEASE
17:56
kinda thought this guy was risker when i saw the trailer. guess not!
18:25
Ahhh, you can totally take him. You just have to make it outside and them sic Madge on 'im! Just... don't look.
19:25
oh right, international waters. no laws! don't look that up, i promise it's true
19:47
the earnestness of that line awwww
Good job, Reynie. Applejack would approve!
20:04
Those "water polo" players are lucky Martina's not here. You do not besmirch the name of sports in her presence- unlike Kate she won't hesitate, bitch.
20:24
........?
20:35
SURRENDERRRRRRRRRRR
i love cannonball oh my god
21:28
...that line, and referring to his followers as "family" is.... really reminding me of my own experience in a similar organization. Man.
22:14
...excuse me a second
22:19
NO WE DON'T ENLIGHTEN US PLEASE
22:52
.... given what we know about constance that somehow seems competely plausible
23:32
Not so "equal in weight", huh, Atalanta?
rip milligan's luggage :(
23:57
DFKUFUAKJHJKASDGSJSKDAHJASDGKJGFYJSAYGGFSEY
THAT LINE DELIVERY
BLESS YOU FRED MELAMED
24:16
these are children you two
24:28
OOOOOOOOOH
she just called your ship sad. with class!
love that kate really is expanding her vocab- she didn't lie to milligan in ep 1!
25:30
do they not have passports?? did they leave them behind with the adults?
25:37
yoink
25:53
What happened to "Nicholas, I've moved on?"
26:02
if you're going through the grieving process simply say "no"
26:33
Unlike last season, the bright yellow is actually very effective camouflage in a lemon grove!
(also, little bit of trivia- coastal Italy does have the ideal climate for growing lemons!)
26:48
free snacks for the road ayyy
27:02
they sound like they're looking for their lost dog shakjdsl
27:21
sebastian's brokennnnnn
27:54
UH OHHHHHHH
28:03
UH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
28:48
the engineering on that luggage cube must be insane because the ones on top are essentially floating
29:08
which was not very from your perspective! was that a diss?
29:23
and now i'm laughing bc i'm thinking of the chekhov's gun bit from the goes wrong show s2 ajaskhjh
29:46
And there's an example of one right there!
30:05
"But today I learned that morality is relative!"
so has reynie's "oh no humanity might be evil" arc been replaced with a "humanity's evil so i'm gonna lean into it lmao" arc?
30:31
constance over there like "oh? really? yes a completely figurative saying imagine that"
30:50
highly, highly accurate
and also
31:13
31:40
jeffers was in curtain's drama club in college and curtain couldn't stand him but he was on board for the evil scheme stuff so what can you do.
32:13
aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA???
32:46
more evidence for the drama club theory. gotta pose dramatically before even attempting to hail one of the numerous nearby cabs to follow them! you go king.
Alright! That was episode 3: A Gold Bar in Fort Knox. I feel like this was sort of a transitional episode, and I'm... not sure how I feel about that. The Shortcut and the people on it were a huge part of the book's journey, and here... it's just used to get from point A to point B, rather than being an interesting stop of its own. With that, I'm gonna have to give this one a 7/10. I really hope they do more with Noland and Cannonball down the line... But I am fascinated to see where the brainwashed Mr. Benedict plot goes...
See you all shortly for episode 4!
#mysterious benedict society#the mysterious benedict society#mbs#mbs disney#tmbs#tmbs disney#mbs season 2#mbs disney spoilers#mbs spoilers#mbs liveblog#sylv liveblogs#mbs s2e3
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So the spending event is coming to an end and I wanted to share a bit of my lucky and unlucky moments, as well as how much were my savings worth.
Herrscher of Origin
I was incredibly lucky with her gears and got everything within 46 pulls with no doubles. Am incredibly happy with her and love her lots <3
EXPA Select
After I suffered the last time going all the way to the pity for her weapon AND DIDN'T EVEN GET IT, I just needed her fists and M, and Sushang turned around to me and gave me both back to back, and even gave one HoHE stig as a bonus. It wasn't the stig I'm missing, but now I just need any one of her stigs whenever she reruns.
Herrscher of Finality
Oh boy did I want her. I mean JUST LOOK AT HER. No actually don't look, y'all don't deserve her, I'm taking her all for myself.
And boy was she nice to me. Coming home in 30 pulls with 0 pity built prior. The best luck I've ever had with a character. Well, at least on main.
I was planning to spend the rest of my pulls on her gears, and I didn't expect to get 4/4 but... I did not expect to get bullied so hard!
I mean 3/4 is all I've ever wanted, and I never got anything off rate... That being said, I got 5 COPIES OF HER WEAPON. F I V E. 5. Back to back, with nothing else in-between. I had to go to 8 pity for her T, just like back in the day with Sushang's gear. Except I didn't get any weapon on Sushang's. Arguably worse. So I guess.. That's still rather lucky?
Spending event
Finally got my HoF and the skin for her!! And I don't want to hear anything, I love this skin granted I just got it for free as a bonus to her. She deserves the world. (But only on Fridays.)
I spent the rest of my orbs on getting frags for Bella.
I love her dearly, but she hasn't been in supply since forever so spending events are likely my only chance.
I needed a few more pulls to get the last 45 orbs, but I had no chance to guarantee me anything, and I didn't want to waste pulls, so I thought, "hey why not pull for an elf?"
For a context, this was the first time ever I pulled for an elf. I didn't even know how the box looked like. I needed about 8 pulls. I did 5. And...
HUH??
To say I was speechless would be an understatement. I didn't even scream, I was so shocked. I was in a daze for a few minutes trying to process what just happened to me.
This heavily outweigh all the unlucky moments I had, making this spending event extremely lucky for my main.
As for my alt...
*sigh*
My alt outweigh all the luck I had on main, making it the most unlucky account in the entire global space.
I saved quite a bit of crystals for an f2p account, my hopes were so high! Pull Bronya N-EX TB, then pull for Sushang MB, then also pull any one Zhenyi, if I had anything left by then pull HoTr! And then at least one Senti's stig from Firepower. Of course I recognized that I had to be super lucky to get all of that, and was quite realistic with what I can actually get. But then...
...This happened.
I drained all my savings for one stig.
I tried to get T the next rotation of EXPA with nothing, and Zhenyi also didn't drop in 10 pulls.
I decided to sacrifice one of Zhenyi I had to make T just so it wouldn't drop from Firepower.
I limited possible drops from it to SSwords TM and Bronya N-EX TM, and out of them there was only one stig I didn't need! Everything else was going to be great for me! But you guessed it right.
I mean, yeah, not the end of the world. Next time it reruns I'll just need to pull whatever. And I will be able to get both Senti's stigs from BP. But that still was the worst that could've happened with a chance of 25%.
And to add to the pain, I wasn't even able to get an elf.
I will have to wait for the next spending event featuring Dudu elf. Sadly.
So, to summarize... This spending event was such a rollercoaster. Truly. I had the luckiest moments I've ever had along with the unluckiest anyone ever had. So I guess... it balanced itself out?
Now I'll be going back to the dreadful saving on both accs, but thankfully Ayaka's banner is around the corner to satisfy my gambling addiction <3
#special thanks to the love of my life for blessing my pulls#and also making me not cry over my disastrous pulls on alt by just being on a call with me#I would've 100% if not for you#all this aside#special appreciation to garuda hua#if she's not getting a battlesuit i will riot#I will hiss and bite#honkai impact 3rd#didi's pulls#raiden mei#herrscher of origin#kiana kaslana#herrscher of finality#herrscher of flamescion#hofi should've been called herrscher of the end instead#so it'd be shortened to hoe
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Cow Endeavor
Don't ask no questions you don't want answered. Either way, i have no answers for you. I cried while writing this
Praise kink, male lactation (🙃 say something i dare you) farm au, y'all know i love my breeding kink.
You were a simple farm hand. Every morning you'd wake up, feed the animals, and water the crops. It was your job to make sure everything was in order and working properly. In the essence of things working properly, that meant you had to take care of the farm's prized cow, Enji.
You weren't sure how or when he got here, he had just always been there. What you do know was that his performance in producing milk was so great that he had become the pinnacle for your farm, a mascot even. A cow that could make milk without even needing to be bred.
So it's understandable the panic everyone went into when their prized cow stopped producing his prized milk. "I just don't understand, he just had a calf but there's not even milk for hj., we had to result to bottle feeding!"
You pat Keigo's back reassuringly, "It's going to be okay, have you ever considered that maybe he's just too old now?" Takami's face paled, "You're right, what if our poor Endeavor has run his course?!" He then grips the front of your overalls and gazes you with a look that pierces your soul.
"You have to fix this, if they find out he's no longer making milk, you know what they'll do to him!" You nodded, retirement for farm animals was never fun, they'd either try to force his glands to make milk with dangerous chemically induced hormones, or it would be off to the chopping block.
So now, standing in front of Enji's stall, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. Though his primary caretaker, you had never seen Enji in person so this would be either overwhelming or underwhelming.
Opening the swinging doors, you stand amazed. It may be called a stall but it was nothing less than a renovated room. There was, of course, a wooden trough where his hay and water was, but there was also a nice bed for him and even a damn vanity with a 6ft tall mirror.
"Are you the butcher?" You jump and swivel your head around. There standing at a whopping 6,11, was the prized Enji.
His blue eyes were cold as they glared down at you, and if you hadn't seen his massive pecs, you would have confused him for a bull.
"Uh, no I'm not. I guess you could say I'm going to be your doctor today." Enji rolled his eyes and walked past you. He sits on his bed and for a moment, you saw a look of sadness etched in his scared face. A reminder of a past problem.
"Look I'd recommend you replace me with Touya, he can't do it as often but the quality in milk is just as good. I only ask that you allow little Shouto to sleep with him here, he gets terrible nightmares when he's alone."
You cursed your bleeding heart as you were two sentences from crying. Shouto was his most recent calf,, not even old enough to graze, yet he was far away from his mother where he should be, sucking and carefree.
"Well I hope it doesn't come to that, can you get comfortable?"
Enji lays on his back, sinking into the soft bed below him. You step out the stall and grab your bag of tools. You walk up to Enji and feel your face warm as he looks back at you. His face remained stoic as he watched your hands maneuver the bag clamps.
You let out a loud shriek as a warm hand envelopes your left breast. "If you were a cow, I'm sure you'd make excellent milk." You laugh awkwardly before breaking into a coughing fit as Enji releases you.
"Thanks, could you remove your top for me?" Enji sits up and does as you ask and you balk at how much bigger his chests were when released. "Mommy milkers." You whisper to yourself, catching Enji's attention. "What did you say?"
"Nothing!" You put your stethoscope in your ears, and hold the circle piece to his chest, uttering small apologies when he hisses at the cool temperature. You do the normal required check up before moving to the current task at hand.
You start to put on your latex gloves but it's stopped by Enji shading his head. "I don't like the way they feel." So with your bare hands, you examine his chest.
First you massage the skin around his nipple to try to coax some milk out. With no luck, you decide to pay attention to the actual nipples balancing from prodding to pinching them. "Normally when things like this happen it means that something could be blocking the exit." Enji huffed, "Why won't you people accept that I'm just old?!"
You ignore him and continue. You feel around the swell of his breasts and push inwards with two fingers. At that, you faintly catch the sight of his pink buds being coated with clear shiny liquid. Enji's face warmed at the feeling of it dripping down the valley of his chest.
"See, what did I tell you!? It just needed a little coaxing!" You press and prod more trying to coax a consistently white spurt of milk but soon run dry. Enji's face was completely red and sweat had accumulated on his brow. He was internally thankful for the pants he requested as an embarrassingly large bulge was present just below the fabric.
"S-See all that was just a shadow of what I once was." You flick his nip and shake your head, promptly missing how his eyes gently rolled back at the feeling. "Calm down edge lord. I think you need a constant force, I'm going to go get Shouta and see if he can suck more out and hopefully shift whatever is blocking."
You stand up and give Enji a reassuring smile. Rising into a panic, Enji grabbed your forearm, "Don't bring him!" You pout your lips, "Well who do you want me to bring?"
Enji grits his teeth, he didn't want any of his calves to see him in such a state, but he knew this was an opportunity for him to stay at the farm a little while longer. Gently, you feel yourself being tugged.
You trip over yourself, slightly leaning over Enji which gave him the perfect opportunity to cradle the back of your head. He says nothing as he holds you closer, and it wasn't until you saw his flushed face, that you realised what he wanted.
"E-Enji, I don't think this is appropriate I-" Enji wastes no time before pressing his hardened nipple into your partially open mouth. Your protest is muffled as he pressed your face closer. His eyes closed tightly as your warm breath fans over his cool skin.
Soon you realise that you were not going to be let go anytime soon. You reposition yourself the best he would allow you before closing your eyes as well, and sucking gently. Enji lets out a sigh that reverberated down his body.
You let out a muffled exclamation as you feel a warm liquid
flow into your mouth. It was thicker than the clear liquid you saw before, bittersweet and addicting without any additives. It was easy to see how Enji had become the prized cow.
Enji's grip slackened when he felt you relax against him, but you barely noticed as you became enraptured in the taste of his milk. In a strange way, suckling from him felt almost intimate in a maternal way.
Despite your innocent feelings, Enji found himself becoming aroused at the sight of you enjoying him. In all his years of work, he had never seen someone, besides his calves, drink his product.
"D-Do you like it?" You hum around him and he had to clench his teeth so he wouldn't release any sounds. You find yourself getting pliant in his arms, becoming more focused on getting more of the psweet liquid.
You soothingly lave your tongue around his nipple and Enji can't help but let out a small moan. His dick was painfully hard in his cotton pants and there was only so much he could take.
You remove yourself from him with a wet pop, before applying a kiss to his swollen bud. Rather high off happy chemicals, you stand shakily to your feet. Enji had drool and small dribbles of milk spurting from the unattended side of his chest. "You were so good for me Enji. I'm sure this will get you up and running in no time!"
With that, you utter a quick "thank you" and walk away, missing the large splotch of cum leaking from the fabric crotch of Enji's pants.
🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄
It was 3 weeks before you saw Enji again. And you don't deny that you were avoiding him. What you did was beyond inappropriate and uncalled for. You should have pulled away and called for one of his calves.
But avoiding your job is just as easy as it sounds.
"Hey y/n, Enji thinks he's running dry again. Even though there seems to be nothing wrong when the machine mills him, I think you should go check and make sure." You stiffen and shovel a mouthful of lettuce into your mouth.
"If there's nothing wrong, I have no reason to go. Besides why can't you do it." Keigo looks at you with a raised eyebrow, "He requested you specifically." You feel your chest flutter with an unknown emotion and you quickly finish your lunch to avoid any conversation.
You enter Enji's stall the next day and watch silently as he immediately removes his shirt. Ever since your first meeting, his chests had doubled in size since the milk had finally been allowed to move freely. The sight of them excited you, and you couldn't help but feel conflicted.
You sit in a small chair next to Enji's bed and examine his swollen breasts. Even the slightest touch caused milk to spill forth and it became hard to ignore. "You're not really starting to dry up are you?"
Enji sighs before sitting up. "Ever since that day I couldn't get you out of my head." You tilted your head confused as Enji cups his breasts before trailing his large hands down his stomach to his crotch before gripping his obvious manhood.
"Enji this is going beyond inappropriate." The large man made a sound that was a cross between a desperate whine and a grunt similar to that of a bull. "Don't deny that you like it too, I saw the look on your face." You lowered your head unable to look at his eyes.
Thoughts mulled over in your head about what type of punishment you could receive from possibly contaminating merchandise. Would the milk be different? People have been sending letters about how much sweeter Enji's milk has gotten.
Ah, but the thought of Enji's sweet sustenance on your tongue made your mouth water. Enji hid a small smirk as he saw you finally make up your mind. He had missed you since your last encounter, he spent nights thinking of you as his tits swelled with milk.
You untie your work apron and toss it on the stool before straddling Enji's thick legs. In the back of your mind, the logistics of his height and weight made your shiver at the thought of his cock.
Enji brings you in for a kiss and the rather off putting taste of oats and spring grass floods your senses as your tongues intertwine. You use your hands to massage his breasts and feel your front become warm as you subsequently squeeze out some of his milk.
You place hurried kisses along his jaw as you make your way to the true treasure. The sweet taste of his milk overrides your morning meal and you are baffled by how different it was from last time.
Enji, no longer feeling shy, let out a groan as he holds your head close to him. His free hand pulls his leaking cock out and strokes it in time with your rough tongue as you press it against his sensitive bud.
"Harder my little flower." You sigh with contentment at the nickname and do as ordered. You feel Enji flex below you and you take pride in it.
You scoot your lower body closer to his groin and rock your hips against him. The feeling of your denim pants against his throbbing cock was almost too much yet too little.
"Please, let me be inside you." You raise your head to look at him and Enji almost coos at the milky dribble rolling out the corner of your mouth. You were such a small thing, needed to be fed, needed to be protected and most importantly, needed to be bred.
Dazed, you shimmy off your pants and underwear and grind your hips. "B-Be gentle okay?" You were trembling on top of him and it was absolutely adorable. "Of course my flower."
In the corridor Keigo was making his way towards Enji's stall. It had been beyond the recommended time for an examination so he was coming to see what was taking you so long.
As he comes upon the door, the sound of whining fills his ears. "Just a little bit longer, flower." His eyes widen and he takes four steps away from the stall door. "You sly fox y/n fraternizing with the produce." Keigo shakes his head in disapproval before shrugging with a small grin.
"None of my business."
The feeling of fullness was strange and uncomfortable. Enji was not long whatsoever, that was another characteristic that set him apart from the bulls. But he was thick to the point where you knew you'd have to work extra hard to accommodate him.
"You're doing so well for me flower." You rub your face against his bosom and resume drinking from him. The taste of his milk was therapeutic and before you knew it, he was thrusting fluidly inside of you.
The thickness of his shaft rubbed just right against your g-spot. The feeling of your soft lips alternating between each nipple, made Enji speed up his menstruations for he could no longer contain his pleasure.
He was sad that he couldn't bring you to completion as well but that can always be saved for next time. The feeling of his semen filling you felt just as amazing as the milk flooding your mouth and you clenched tightly around him.
🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄
"It's not funny Keigo!" "Really? I think it's hilarious." You groan as you cradle your slightly protruding belly. You should have seen it coming, and subconsciously, you weren't surprised to see two pink lines on the pregnancy test that you took 4 months ago.
Now at 7 months and obviously showing, Keigo took the opportunity to bring up the fact that he was there when your new child was consummated therefore reserved the right to be it's godfather.
Telling Enji the news went scarily smooth as the cow bastard only replied with, "Of course you are pregnant, I'm the sire." Followed by him asking to try your milk as well, so he could critique. All his calves, now yearlings, seemed to take the news just fine and only seemed excited to pick baby names.
"Look, all I'm saying is, don't come crying when little junior starts asking about the family business." You groan as the dirty blond man continues his jokes. A small content smile is present on your face.
#black y/n#blackreader#am igonna lost my black card for this?#mha endeavor#endeavor smut#kinktober#male lactation#cow aesthetic#cow anthro#enji thirst#enji todoroki#enji smut#mha enji#bnha endeavor
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2/3 Eren Yeager (Smut Warning!)
(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
That's why I fucked yo' bitch, you fat motherfucka!
The screenshot sound was pretty loud as your back went up and down like a roach sprayed with raid. The male on the other side of the phone laughing his ass off. Well, he wasn't the only one.. but he's the one who took the screenshot.
"Delete that shit, don't put it on Instagram Connie!" Your pretty face was immediately in the camera's view. Your eyes a little wide at the fact that you were caught off guard. But at the same time, you let yourself go in front of the group. That's your wrong doing. But it made them smile nonetheless.
The people who were on the call at the moment were Connie, Jean, and Sasha. The rest were either too bothered to be in such a crackhead group, or they were busy.. probably the first one. Anyways, everyone in first period happened to be your friend, they were all different but they adored you nonetheless... even Annie... she just hides hers pretty well. Anyways, It's almost the end of senior year already and the bond is hard to break..
"That's my favorite song, you can't be catchin a hoe off guard.." you scolded the bald male who still happened to be laughing. His controller in his hand since he was playing nba2k. Jean was also playing but at the moment he was trying to figure out what you were doing.. and he's mad he didn't see..
"What did she do now?!"
"She was throwing her back out of place!" Sasha muffled out as she was stuffing her cheeks with a Hershey chocolate bar. She was also watching Hell's Kitchen on her tv, you could hear it.
"Daddy Jean aint need to hear all that.." you playfully spoke as you bit your lip at him. It was obvious he liked you, not to the point where he wanted a relationship though.. he's just a bit of a man whore.
Though everytime you mumble a 'Daddy Jean' , he's all for it. That's yo bitch.
After a bit of a pause of talking, Connie had picked up his phone and you were now cleaning the table that was in your room. The last time you were in this room, you didn't even have time to clean... Your father was screaming for you to hurry.
Let's explain, this weekend, you are visiting Hange, your mother . She missed you so she invited you to stay for a few days. Today is Friday so you have the whole weekend with her. She had planned Saturday and Sunday. Not to mention, Monday is a holiday so no school.
"Hey guys... uh Armin and Eren having a party.. y'all comin?"
All while Sasha said yes, along with Jean.. you were still jamming to 2-pac spitting his shit. Your hand movements not going unseen by the three on your phone. So in result of not having a response from you, Connie screamed oh so suddenly which caused you to jump pretty high.
"What the Fuck is yo problem!? You bein held by gunpoint nigga?" Your voice showing 1% concern as you moved closer to the phone on your dresser and you stared into it.. quite surprised still.
"(Y/n)... you makin my hair fall out..." Connie spoke as he gave a sarcastic smile and... wow it was hard for everyone to suppress their laughter... your face would turn purple instead of red though..
"Ight~... watchu want?..."
"Eren-"
"Oooh, Eren.." you spoke in interest, your long eyelashes fluttering. This however made Jean and Connie 'throw up' at the same time. All while you rolled your (e/c) eyes.
"Yall do too much-.. and Jean, stay in yo game ight?.. befo I come through the screen and punch-"
"Eren havin a party.. are you going..?"
Tilting your head in slight disbelief that Connie interrupted you. Your eyes rolled as you looked to the side. Obviously leading them on, but at the same time they knew that Hange will let you go...
"Fine. But somebody pickin me up.. and Sasha cuz boo-boo can't drive worth a dime.."
(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
As much as you hated it, you sat uncomfortably in the dodge... Ugh... It's just something about you and dodge's. The cars radiate fuck boy energy, and guess who happened to be driving this car? Jean..
Though he let you sit in the passenger seat just because. Your eyes staring out the window as you messed with the stockings you had on. They were in a bit of a web, that was the design. You also had on a plaid skirt and this crop top with some white platforms. Oh you looked scrumptious.
The person who put this outfit together in the first place was Hange.
"Baby Jean, you need a new car... cuz-"
"It radiates Fuck boy energy.. you said it the first time you ever saw it... I know.." Jean pouted as he continued to drive to Eren's house. Who was shared with Armin. The two always lived together, some speculated that they were... sparkle sparkle.. gay.. but they aren't.. not that you would've minded.. it just would've been a bummer.
"(Y/n)... Didn't Your father take your car away...?"
Glaring back at Connie, who was wearing a white shirt with black pants and some timbs. You rolled your eyes and looked through your window again.
"Yeah but my car is a Mitsubishi.."
The neighborhood around these parts were quite pretty. Just like where you lived with your dad. But at the same time you were confused as to how Eren and Armin could afford such a place. The first thing popping in your mind being. Drug dealer and then you thought about what Sukihana said about dating them...
That's probably why Levi didn't want you around him... Yeah.. This whole senior year has been Levi making sure Eren doesn't sit beside you... nor have a project with you... It's like he barely existed at first. Though you always had these ways to talk to him. He's not even that bad.. he's quite the hottie and he knows what to say... he's just a flirt, and you edge him on every time...
"(Y/n)! Can you come with me to find the food?"
Snapping out of those thoughts of Eren, you didn't even realize Jean had already parked. A small 'mhm' coming from your throat as you opened the car door. Everyone else doing the same. Lord it was a bunch of people out here. People were outside and inside which was baffling honestly.
A soft hand touched your wrist and started to drag you towards the house door. It was Sasha, her mouth almost watering for something to eat. She told Eren to make sure there was extra cheese in the fridge for her. Hidden... and lo and behold when you both shimmied through the crowd, the cheese was in the fridge. Her eyes beaming as she grabbed some chips as started eating like it was her last meal, nothing out of the ordinary.
"This music actually hits..." you spoke out to nobody in particular as your hips started to move ever so gently. Though as nice as your body was, it looked more seductive than anything. Popping one of those chips into your mouth as your hips continued to wine ever so gently.
The looks you were getting, not only lustful but want... The way your long dreads just complimented your look had only made it worse. The second you decide to stop, it seemed like everyone stopped looking at you. In slight despair that you'd stopped. Though one individual in particular was continuing to stare...
His hand, wrapped around the cup as he'd sipped at the liquid inside. The black ring on his middle finger caused his hand to look hotter than it already was. He had these prominent veins that would just look so pretty on your brown skin...
"She likes you too..." the blonde that was a tad bit shorter spoke to his childhood friend, Eren.
"What makes you say that..." lord, somehow over all this music, and his low tone... you could still feel the vibration of Eren's voice. Just glancing from the kitchen as Eren was sitting on the couch in the living room. Leaning back like he owned the place... well he did.
Fine ass..
Giving him a bit of a stare, your glossy lips curved into a smirk as you glanced at him up and down. All before turning your attention back to your friend who was having the time of her life eating...
"So Sash.. what's up with you and Connie...? Yall gon date.. or-"
"(Y/n)!"
"My bad.. my bad.. I just wanted to know"
The party was a bit lively, more than anything since this is a longer weekend. So everyone was happy.. including you because they were playing your favs. So of course your body started to move again. That skirt of yours being a paid actress in helping you look more hot. Though, what you did not expect was someone coming up behind you...
Now that's nasty..
You whipped your head around about to give them an earful... though... you saw that smexy... face and you looked kinda shocked...
"Oh..." you choked out before turning your head again.. Eren's evil little smirk had caught you off guard. It boosted his confidence even more that you didn't feel the need to even move away from him. His hands slithering onto your full hips.
Man, he was really risking everything this time... considering your father is.. Levi...
This however was thrown out of the window because of the fact that you could feel Eren's... crotch against that thick form of yours. That little smirk on your face only widening as you started to gently rub against him, your back bending over somewhat.
His long brown hair then started to ever so gently fall in front of his face as his greenish eyes stared hard into your body. That harsh little grip on your waist made you feel all different types of high. Gawd.
"You like that huh...? I know.." your cute, but seductive voice made Eren chuckle just a tad. It causing you to almost choke on those words.. This man didn't need to TRY to be hot... he was already smexy.
His hands then started to travel up your body to your arms and he gently pulled you up towards him, your back against his scrumptious chest. All you could do was open your mouth a bit, quite surprised that he wanted to be this close with you.
"Eren... You a lil close... you needa tell me sum?"
The way you spoke, the way you carried yourself... it was new to Eren when he first met you.. but he got used to it real quick and he noticed he wanted something he never knew existed.. and that was you.
"Can't tell you here... but I can tell you in the bedroom..." Eren purred out, his voice smooth as a babies skin, smooth as butter. It caused you to tingle, the female between your legs wanting that more than anything.
Biting your glossy lips, the room started to become hotter than it already was. The people who were in the house started to pile out of the main and started to go outside. It was quite cold outside as well, but the party continues.
"Where the hell is (Y/n)..." Jean spoke to himself as he watched Connie and Sasha become drunks in two seconds. It was obvious he himself could not drink since he is the driving parent tonight.. but he now had nothing to do... he's just wondering where... you are..
(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
"S-..Shit Eren~..."
The (f/c) nails you had were now digging into Eren's muscular arms as his lips caressed your neck. The seductive kisses making dark marks on your brown, beautiful skin.
Your head being thrown back onto the soft black pillow as your pretty toes curled. Feeling Eren's slender fingers inside of your pussy. His intimidating green eyes watching your every expression, every move. Seeing that your crop top was already rolled up over your pretty chocolate mound breasts that were covered with your bra.
"E-Eren, s-stahp..." choking that out, you could hear the loud rip of your stockings when Eren moved his hand out of them. The wetness of your brown pussy lips being known pretty well when Eren's fingers slid your panties to the side.
"You don't want me to stop... huh...?"
"N-No.."
The electricity shocked through you when you watched Eren stare down into your eyes. Lust and want, all in them as his key necklace dangled in front of your face ever so gently.
His shirt immediately being discarded as he watched your pussy pulse from his fingers being pulled away from it. It was amazing to him how much you wanted him.. it was amazing... it ran something through him...
All you could see was his muscular frame, his hands to match as he easily tore through your bra. Watching the way your breasts fumbled out of the cups. He never seen a black woman's breasts before.. but it couldn't get any better than this though.. is what he thought.
"Daddy~... don't stare at em..." you pouted playfully before licking your glossy lips. Just running your fingers up Eren's arms as you eventually made your way up to his luscious hair. Running your fingers through the locks. Pulling him down ever so gently to finally get that kiss you wanted.
Eren's eyes glowed when he felt your soft lips, the lip gloss giving him this taste of lovely. His lips tasted of some sugar, kinda made you wonder what was in his cup before this.
The wetness of Eren's tongue touching yours as the both of you withered in this naughty, sloppy kiss. Something you both weren't supposed to do.... It was fun, crazy... scary..
"You act all bad outside of the bedroom huh... but you ain't ever have someone touch you..." Eren teased gently, in a whisper against your lips. His hand gripping your chin as he stared at your innocent looking face. Gently spitting all nastily into your mouth and you moaned out seductively. Swallowing it so easily..
"Show daddy you'll be able to take it..."
Eren's cock was so hard in his pants, it being unzipped by him and his underwear was now restricting his release. His eyes staring at your pretty pussy, the wet, pink insides were bright and untouched. Though his pale cock was eager to invade it.
"I-.. I can take it daddy..." your whimpers echoed In Eren's ears as he pushed his underwear down. Your knees being pushed to your chest as you felt Eren's stare. The plaid skirt you had was still on, so you tried to cover your pretty pussy with it.
"Stop... don't hide now.." Eren scoffed out as he gripped under your thighs, the underside of his cock rubbing up and down your wet and gooey pussy.
"Hold your legs... don't move.."
It was so demanding, your pussy clenching already as the wetness dripped down to your other hole. Your pretty, long nails visible to Eren as you held your legs as tightly as you could. Knowing Eren's cock was a monster. You could see it... right between your legs.. right between your brown pussy lips.. the contrast was unbelievable..
"F-Fuck!! Eren~~ ow~" the way your painted toes curled gave Eren a shiver of excitement. Your back arching ever so slightly as your virgin hole was taken away from you. Squeezing tightly around Eren's experienced cock.
"Shh.. it's Ight.. take it babydoll.." Eren's whisper was gentle and sincere as his thumb started to gently rub at your clit. Causing you to swallow your spit, though it spilled out. What also spilled out is your loud whimper. Your legs staying wide open for him as your hand slowly slid up his muscular structure.
"It's .. i-it's so big..."
Hearing these whimpers and words spill from your throat, Eren couldn't help but take his hand and wrap it around your throat. Causing your breath to be taken away oh so suddenly when Eren snapped his hips forward even more.
"Fuck!" Your moan could probably be heard outside as your breasts bounced from the impact. Eren's smirk wide as he felt the tightness of your insides. His necklace going back and forth ever so gently as his pelvis started to clap against you. The feeling was so foreign to you, having someone ram into you like this. But it was Eren... it wasn't just 'someone'..
Your (f/s) scent was powering against Eren's own scent. The feeling of Eren's cock was starting to really take a toll on you..
"A-Ahgh..."
Eren's cock was being enclosed so tightly, you just wet up his Dick so well.. he was starting to become obsessed.. more than he already was.
"Daddy's. little. pussy..." his deep voice echoed in your ears as he started to get a bit faster. Your breasts bouncing even more as Eren made sure that skirt was moved out the way. He wanted to make sure to see everything. His hand squeezing harder at your throat. It was keeping you firm against the bed, like a little fuck doll...
"I-it's your pussy Eren~"
Curling those pretty toes again, you could feel the bubbles in your lower region. The craziest orgasm you've ever experienced... just tip toeing to the tippy top. All you could muster was a pathetic whine. Your eyes watering up behind your long eyelashes.
"I'm-.. I'm cumming..." Your voice was so weak, it sounded like you were passing out almost. Just rolling your eyes back as the bed frame started to hit the wall. Your pussy gushing more than usual as the white cum started to coat Eren's cock a little.
"Shit... yeah~..." Eren growled under his breath, watching you come undone on his pale cock. Your thicker form was just so adorable, looking all bent up. Your locs scattered around ever so softly.
It was like he was fucking a goddess...
Eren was between harsh and soft, his manhandling ways were shown easily by the way he pulled out quickly and turned you over. Your plump ass shaking like jello as his cock easily slipped inside once again.. filling you up for the second time. God you just couldn't wait till you could feel his cum...
"Imma Fuck you till you turn dumb..." Eren spoke harshly as his long fingers gripped at some of your locs. Pulling them and wrapping them around his wrist somewhat. Gaining all control over you and your own body...
He wasn't playing either...
(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2
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A-Z Smut (Ali Abdul)
Hey ya'll! I know it has been a while since my last fic and I apologize. Hope you guys like it! Don't forget to like and reblog!💜
P.S Why is writing smut in any form so difficult!😭
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Ali will clean you up, ask if you need anything, and just make sure that you are okay. After that, he's going the cuddle with you.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
On him: Definitely his arms. He likes holding your body close to him while making love.
On you: Your neck, he loves littering your neck with hickeys and burying his face there when he gets close.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Ali prefers to cum inside of you.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He loves when you swallow his cum when you give him a blowjob.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
You're the first man Ali has been with so it will take some time for him to be confident to take care of your needs in bed.
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
Ali loves any position that allows him to see your face.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
He's going coax a laugh out of you to help you relax but will become more serious
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Ali is a little hairy down there but he makes sure to trim it so it is not too hairy.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
Ali is kissing you, whispering endearments, and maintaining eye contact.
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
Ali only jacks off if you are gone for a while like visiting family for a few days.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
This man has a praise kink so you better tell him how good he's making you feel. Also, he loves having his hair pulled.
L = Location (Favorite places to do they do)
At home where he doesn't have to rush things and can take his time having his way with you.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
When your hands start roaming his chest while you are kissing him or when you start to slowly undress him.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Ali won't do anything that involves degrading or inflicting harm on you. It makes him feel bad.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Ali's 50/50; he loves giving you a blowjob as well as receiving one from you and he's really good.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Ali is 100% slow and sensual he loves seeing you slowly unravel under him.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Ali is not a big fan of them.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
Ali is open to experimenting as long you are comfortable.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He can go 1-3 rounds for about 25 minutes
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Ali doesn't own any but won't mind buying some to try on you.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
Ali will tease you until you moaning mess only then will give you what you want.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
At first, Ali used to hold himself back from moaning but with your encouragement, he started to let them out and he's actually a loud moaner. Fortunately not in a porno way.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
One night you told Ali that you wanted him to fuck you like it was y'all last day on earth and to not hold back. Let's just say that you weren't able to walk or sit straight the next couple of days and the marks he left on you took a while to heal. But it was worth it.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
This man is 6 1/2 inches, nice and thick too.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
His sex drive is medium and it kind of depends on how he feels.
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
If you fall asleep Ali is going to watch you for a while before pulling you close and drifting off to sleep.
#ali abdul x male!reader#squid game masterlist#squid game headcanons#squid game imagines#ali abdul x male reader#squid game x male reader
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Seas the Day
an: Hey y'all! I'm back from hiatus and have a new Matt fic for you. After this one, I'll be all caught up. This is the sixth installment of the Happily Ever After series for Matt. As always, hope y'all enjoy!
words: 1.3 k
warnings: n/a
summary: “ ‘A’ohe pu’u ki’eki’e ke ho’a’o ‘ia e pi’i” —Hawaiian Proverb [No cliff is so tall it cannot be climbed]
masterpost|taglist|have an idea
Since the beginning of your relationship with Matt, you knew his kids would be his first priority, and you understood that.
When you came into the picture, the kids also became your first priority. A year of not talking with Kristy was enough for you. So you reached out to her, and after talking and working through the problems, you were slowly getting back to how you were. So she was the one who reached out to you about her impending trip. After many late-night discussions, you had eased Matt into the idea of the kids going away for a week with Kristy and her boyfriend. They wanted to go on a week-long road trip. And while Matt had no problem trusting Kristy, he was still a little unsure about Alex. They hadn’t spent enough time together for Matt to get to know him.
You and Matt hadn’t spent much time together, just you, over the past couple of months. What with work and kids, there just wasn’t enough time. So when Matt had warmed up to the idea of the road trip, you suggested that the two of you go on vacation somewhere. Immediately he was on board, and he was the one who proposed Hawai’i, specifically Kaua’i. So here you were, packing the suitcases for your first vacation together. Matt was spending the day with the kids before they left on the trip.
Come Monday, you and Matt were in the back of a cab on the way to the Norfolk airport for your flight. Since it was a little later in the evening, the airport wasn’t too busy. Once you had checked your bags and only had carry-on left, you were headed to TSA screening. The line was long, but it was moving quickly, faster than you anticipated. As soon as you made it through, you were leading Matt to the airport bar and grill for dinner. After dinner and a few drinks, you were on the hunt for your departure gate. You spotted a couple of seats together with no one around them and hurriedly led Matt over. Since the two of you were seasoned travellers, you were prepared for the flight. Just before boarding was going to start, Matt went to get coffee for the two of you. You always liked to buy a drink before getting on the plane; the airplane coffee was always gross.
When the announcement called for Zones 1 and 2, you quickly stood up and gathered your things. Matt looked at you confused but still followed your lead.
“Why are you getting ready? They called for Zones 1 and 2?”
“Surprise! I wanted to surprise you with something nice so I upgraded us to first class,” you said, looking at him with a wide grin. “Did you even look at the tickets?”
With a sheepish grin, he said, “I’m used to boarding near the end so, I didn’t even think to look.”
You guys boarded into the first-class section, which was new to you as well. You had never travelled first class, but you thought this trip with Matt was a good time to experience it. After settling into your seats, you got comfy and waited for the flight to take off. After the first round of food and beverage service went by, you promptly fell asleep on Matts’s shoulder. Just before you slipped into a deeper sleep, you felt him shift so you would be more comfortable and drape something over you. You slept for six hours. When you woke up, you moved in your seat a little, consequently waking up Matt because you were leaning against each other. He gave you a sleepy smile and then turned to the small screens on the seatbacks in front of you. For the rest of the flight, you guys watched movies together, drifting in and out of sleep.
The plane touched down in O’ahu, and you guys hustled across the airport to make your connecting flight into Kaua’i. The short flight was around 50 minutes and went by much faster than you thought it would. Once you had landed on the island, the first stop was your hotel. After checking in, a quick shower and, changing your clothes, the two of you were ready to start exploring the island. The first place on your list was the Queen’s bath. Next, it was only a short walk down to the tide pools but, because it was early spring, the waves were relatively high and the seas rough. Making it too dangerous to swim but, you had fun walking around and exploring the area. After that, in your rental, you and Matt drove down the only road heading northeast as far as possible by car. At the end of the road was a wet & dry cave. You went all the way inside. It was an incredible experience. After the sightseeing, you guys went to Princeville to have dinner at Nanea; the food was definitely worth the price.
Day two had a bit of a later start. You guys went to a food truck ‘square’ for breakfast, and, after eating, you walked towards the sea on the bike path behind the food trucks. The time passed fast, especially as you stopped to take pictures with Matt along the way. You arrived at your next stop, tubing. 3 hours of tubing on an old sugar plantation in the Kaua’i backcountry. You had a blast and made a note to come back with the kids next time. After that, you decided to take a trip to Wailua Falls. You admired the breathtaking view and took pictures from the top, in the areas open for people—unlike the ignorant tourists who hiked down the waterfall, against the law. To end off the night, you had dinner at the hotel restaurant.
Days three and four were spent similarly. Day three, you started with a quick breakfast at a local cafe and then were off for your first excursion, Waimea canyon. You hiked the Kukui trail, 5 miles round trip. You walked through the beautiful Koa forest, taking pictures of flora and fauna—such as hibiscus, kukui nut trees, and wild chickens. You eventually reached the Waimea river, taking a break to soak in the scenic view and eat the picnic lunch you packed. The hike was an excellent workout, especially the two-mile trip back up to the top of the canyon. After the hike, you went to Polihale beach to enjoy the sunset. Day four was started off the same. You went back to the cafe, which became a favourite for you, and then you headed out for your next hike, the Na Pali Coast hike. You did only part of the Na Pali Coast hike; the entire hike would take 3-5 days—which you would definitely go back to do it again. For the rest of the afternoon, you guys were at Poipu beach.
Day five was one of your more busy days. The local cafe became a regular spot for breakfast. Afterwards, you headed for the Kipu Zip-line tour you booked, packed full of activities. You started off the day with a short safety briefing, collected the gear and then you were off in the kayaks. After about two hours of kayaking, the tour took you hiking, which lasted about an hour and a half. To end off, the guided tour was zip-lining. All of those activities within six hours; you were pooped. Instead of going out to eat, you and Matt just ordered up room service.
Day six came faster than you were anticipating. It was bittersweet. You were excited to get home and see the kids, who were such a massive part of your life and definitely owned your heart but, you cherished the time you got to spend with Matt—just the two of you. You packed your bags back up and double-checked the rooms before heading to the lobby and checking out. Since the weather was nice, you were able to embark on the Na Pali Coast boat tour. The afternoon was spent on the boat, witnessing some of the most amazing views Kaua’i had to offer.
It was a tight squeeze to get to the airport in time for your flight to O’ahu but well worth it. After that, it was smooth sailing. Definitely a memorable trip.
taglist: @multixfandomwriter
@gspenc @myescapefromthislife @ssa-morgan
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Sleep Talking / Harry Wells x Reader
hi hey, this is my first fanfic about Harry and on this site period. I hope it's okay and some people Enjoy it!
F/F= favorite flower 🌺🌹🌷🌼🌸💐🌻
Rating= E, fluff and a bit of angst
Short summary: You have an exciting dream that you wish was a reality. Because of your sleep talking, Harry picks up on some the of the sentences you say, and when you wake up he asks you about it.
side note: some of y'all have been bullying me abt using "pink face" and IDEK WHY ITS BAD,, SOMEONE INFORM ME,, but i changed it for you so you're welcome
Your twisting and turning wakes up your, now awaken, boyfriend, Harry. You aren't having a bad dream or anything, nor are you uncomfortable so this movement is odd.
"Mmm," you growl in your sleep, "where are you,, taking me?"
Harry looks at you, concerned. "Dear?" "Are you awake?"
You smile in your sleep, still knocked out. He sighs and continues to watch you, waiting for what you are going to say next.
"Can i take these blindfolds off yet?" you ask whoever you are talking to in your dream.
"Blindfolds huh.." Harry declared. He turns on the lamp that's on the nightstand and looks at you with a grin. He loves watching you sleep, the way your chest rises up and down, and hearing your heartbeat. It's all reassuring for the grumpy man.
"Wow, this is nice!" you smile, eyes still closed. Harry puts his hand in yours and you squeeze it. He rubs your hand with his thumb making you cuddle closer to him, still deep into your dream.
Harry adjusts the both of you, carefully so he doesnt wake you from your slumber. He puts your head in his strong and muscular arm, wrapping it around you and lightly squeezing your arm.
"Yes! Yes! A thousand times... YES" you suddenly wake up from your dream and say that last yes loud enough to wake harry up again, after he was starting to drift off to sleep. "Y/N, you're awake now."
You are still a bit shocked from the dream you had. Harry had taken you to a fancy restaurant, one you had never been before. After that he blindfolded you and he said he had a surprise for you. He lead you for about 3 minutes before you reached your destination and he allowed you to take the blindfold off. When you did, you were on a bridge, ontop of a F/F field.
"Wow Hare. You really outdid yourself with this one." You give him a quick kiss on his cheek, "I love it."
"And I love you."
You blush, admiring the sunset sky and the dancing flowers.
"Y/N."
"Hmm?" You turn to face him again.
"I really love you, and so does Jesse. Ever since I've met you, I havent gone a day without thinking about you and the love I have for you. I never thought I'd find another lover after my ex-wife, but I'm so glad I gave love another chance. You're never going to lose me, and I hope I'll never lose you either. Would you do me the honor and take my hand in marriage?"
"Yes! Yes! A thousand times...YES"
And now you're awake.
"Yeah... im awake." You cuddle closer to him.
He kisses you on the top of your head. "Sounds like you had an interesting dream."
"Huh, what do you know about my dream?"
"You sleep talk."
"Do not!!" You whine
"Oh but you do Y/N, wanna tell me what it was about?"
To be honest, you're kind of embarrassed. You were so excited in your dream and it felt so real. You've been wanting to go the next step with harry. No not sex, you passed that step. The marriage step. Maybe even the family step. You doubt that though, knowing his age he probably doesn't want any more children.
"I dont know..." you hesitate. He puts his other arm around you and you shift so that your head is on his chest and both of his arms fit comfortably around your shoulders.
"Come on Y/L/N, I'm interested." He begs. You sigh and decide to get it over with and just tell the man.
"I was having a dream about... you proposing" you say the last 2 words in a whisper.
"What was that? You know I have old ears."
"About you proposing!" you quietly shout, covering your face with your bed sheets.
Harry's eyes widen, not expecting that answer. "Well... uhm...uhh-"
"You don't have to say anything Harry, I know its random and stupid"
He lifts you up by your hips and the covers stop covering you, revealing your FLUSTERED face, he turns you around so that you are facing him and he looks you directly in the eye, "its not stupid. I find it quite endearing actually. Do you have any idea why you are dreaming about this?"
Of course he knows the answer to that question, he is a scientist. A genius, even. He just wants to hear the words come from your mouth.
You squirm in his lap and look down at your fingers. "Maybe..."
"Dear, please talk to me."
You take a deep sigh and admit your feelings, "I want to get married, Harry. Start a family of our own. I know you might not be capable anymore, but I still want to be a... a Wells."
He held your hand in one and rubbed your back with the other. He gives you a kiss and says, "I want to marry you too, y/n, soon... I feel like I cant be all that you need in a husband right now. I need to get my priorities straight. Soon though dear,, you will be a Wells soon."
You softly start to cry. Not tears of sadness. Not tears of happiness either. More like tears of multiple emotions, this whole situation has just been... emotional.
Harry hugs you tightly and apologizes to you, "No no, you did nothing wrong Hare. I love you so much and I cant wait for the future."
You smile at him as he wipes your tears off your face. For the rest of the night you sleep soundly in Harry's embrace, thankful that you have such an amazing boyfriend.
#harry wells x reader#harry wells#the flash cw#tom cavanagh#x reader#fanfic#harry wells imagine#harry wells fanfic
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RWBY Booty Tier List
Hi I said it would happen so now it's gonna happen, time to rate asses and explain why I gave them that rating...
(also they are in order from flattest to phattest)
[This took way too long (T-T) ]
Starting with D TIER Aka Flat as fuck
Raven: Ya go to the lowest tier in D tier ya all-tits-no-ass having ass, you deadbeat fucko (I really don't like parents who leave their children, how'd you guess?).
Weiss : Sorry girl but even with all your dance training, your Sperm donor's DNA is in you, if it was just your mom's DNA you'd rocket up to A TIER, still more ass than Raven tho, which says a lot about Raven since Weiss is as flat as a wooden plank (sorry @naughtyweiss your girl has no ass).
All of team NDGO: these bitches show up once or twice, and, in the novels they do something bad? I didn't read it, but they like sacrifice some people to the Grimm or something? Anyways they have almost no ass too little to actually matter.
C TIER Aka Too much muscle
Pyrrha : Sorry unbeatable girl your life style is just too healthy, with all her exercises and no fat foods she has no cushioning, I'm sorry Pyrrha you just have too much muscle.
Reese : With all her skating she must have some muscle in the back, like literally, her muscles are trained to keep her on the board during combat so her ass is super firm, but that's a bit of a downside since it's too firm, kinda hard actually like really hard.
Also she gives me party animal girl vibes, that doesn't affect anything just thought I'd mention it.
Elm: Have you seen how tall and beefy that girl is? Now does this affect her backside...mmm...kind of? Her ass is just and, I mean just muscle which is bad because no cushioning.
But her thighs tho mm~mm delicious.
Yang : Yang is all about her upper body, she's proud of her tits and her arms, she is Miss "punch first ask later" after all, so i can actually see her skipping some leg days, like Reese her booty is alot of muscle but not so much cushion, sorry Yang.
Arslan : Like Yang, Arslan is all about working out and honing her body to peak physical fighting ability, however, this girl has genetics on her side, her tits aren't as big as Yang’s however, she make up for having a tentsy little bit of cushion for the pushin' not really enough to be B TIER though.
B TIER Aka Now were gettin' good
Penny Ver.2 : Penny Version 1 was pure metal (at least in my headcanon) so she was all legs no butt, however, Penny Version 2 (again in my headcanon) had synthetic skin, now I'm not saying Pietro is some weird pervert giving his child a fat ass, but he was "generous" which was inaccurate as...
Penny (human) : Penny as a human never had the chance to exercise [fuck you RT (T-T)], so her booty was a little lacking but it was still bigger and rounder than her robot body.
Ruby: Now you and I both know that with all the sweets Ruby eats she isn't exactly thin, good thing though is all the fat goes to her ass, Ruby has that fatty y'all!
Neo : I'm sure people will question this one but, Neo's height is a detrement on her ass, since she's so short her ass has to be proportional to her actual height, so for women her height she has so much ass but compared to the others in this list it isn't as much.
Coco: Coco takes care of her fashion and her body. She does squats often and keeps a balance between fat and firmness. Unfortunately genetics gave her a cute face but not a phat ass, sorry queen.
Summer: Same as Ruby except she has that MILFY boost to her hips and booty (she also has bigger tits but, oh well this isn't the Titty Tier list so...).
Winter : Training for the military helped null the taint of Jacques DNA in her, so she took a bit more of her mother’s blessed genes, her ass isn't exactly impressive like the girls in A TIER but it's nothing to scoff at either, unlike her sister (sorry Weissey).
Miltiades "Miltia" : both sisters wear heels, however, Miltia has bigger boobs than her twin while Mel has a bigger booty, still wearing heels and being as acrobatic as they both are requires a lot of lower body training, and also since they work at a club as security they do know how to seduce people, and that did affected their rating.
A TIER Aka Nearly perfectly fuckable
Harriet : Now to be one hundred percent honest Harriet has more thighs than ass, however, with her focus on speed and the training she does, she must have a nice fuckable ass, not the biggest or roundest but really, really nice.
Melanie: Both sisters are guards for Junior's club, but, I like to think that Mel also works as a Stripper or Lap dancer (Hooker if you got enough to buy her services and have a dick big enough, she's a bit of a size queen), so she worked on making her already fat ass even better and also took the time to hone her sex appeal, those being her twerking and lapdancing.
Velvet : Bunny gal has some phat Bunny Buns if ya catch my meaning, like go back to volume 3 and get a good look at her costume, girl's got hips and ass like she was bred for it!
Willow: Have you seen her in the newest volumes?? She has a chance (admittedly small) against the legendary bellabooties Gahtdayum!
Too bad she wasted it with a nearly sterile fucking shit pile of a human like Jacques, ugh... (How he managed to have 3 children baffles me, must've taken half the world’s supply of Viagra)
[Side note our favorite Schnee femboy took after his mom, if he was on the list he'd be just below Harriet hehe].
A+ TIER Candidates for the Bubble Booty Brigade (BBB)
Glynda : Glynda is a professional huntress, she is a teacher and she's decked out in dominatrix gear, can I make it any clearer?
Salem : Salem is the original MILF, the thiccest witch of remnant , and also, she has magic and is technically a monster girl sooo... that gives her extra points (who would've guessed I like monster girls hehe).
The next entry might be blasphemous for some and for that I apologize but...
Blake and Kali : I'm sorry kitties, even though the belabooties are know world wide they are not yet in the BBB. Blake has the firmer booty because of her time in the Fang but Kali has the MILF bonus.
Because of their similarities and their diferences they tie for top of A+ tier.
S TIER The BUBBLE BOOTY BRIGADE
The three heavenly asses of remnant, only three girl stand a top the mountain of the perfect Bubble Booty and they are in order...
May Zedong : May has been depicted by the fandom as being really curvy, especially the cow udders she calls breasts, however she hides her curves under her clothes. The same applies to the fucking badonk she hides in her baggy pants, so much so in fact, that May should be number two of the BBB but because she's so shy about her body she's demoted to number three, still, being a member of the Brigade is a blesing of itself.
Emerald Sustrai : As stated in the previous entry Em should be number three, but because May is so shy and Emerald isn't they swaped places. Em is number two because of one singular thing, she knows her ass is her best atribute, and she fucking flaunts it, she knows she can make men and futas pitch tents, and make women stare like horndogs just by walking past them. Not only that, but she wear clothes that accentuate her ass from short shorts to miniskirts, she knows how to make anyone undeserving cream themselves just by swaying her hips a little and winking. Her seduction skills boosted her above everyone else except one.
NORA VALKYRIE THE ONE TRUE BUBBLE BOOTY OF REMNANT
Every single step a jiggle, every single jump or tiny hop and the world stops to stare, every time she passes by jaws hit the floor, every man woman and futa either wants Nora or wants to be Nora.
Nora's voluptuous cheeks are legendary and the worst part of it all is: She does know the effect she has on people, and she gives zero shits about it.
Because no one is worthy of her divine ass cheeks, except for two men: Jaune Arc and Lie Ren.
She's found her studs the ones who care for her, love her, give her the world AND the ones who have huge bitch breaking cocks to fuck her into the sheets like rutting animals.Every.Single.Night.
Every day of her life is one big teasing session for her studs, she purposefully wear skirts just short enough to see the glorious bounce, she always finds excuses to bend over, she sits on their laps as often as possible.
Just so she can have the mind blowing three ways she has every night.
All hail Booty Queen Nora Valkyrie.
Now everyone thank you for being patient this was something i spent a few days writing (like 3-4 days) and I only wrote this for that time so I hope y'all like it.
Some chacters are missing I know, but I really am comfortable with how it is now.
As always this SHOULD NOT AFFECT YOUR WRITING.
This was a thought experiment of mine, and like I always say in this sort of thing WRITE HOW YOU WANT TO WRITE I hope this was clear.
Thanks for reading and please if you so desire share it with friends.
But for now see ya!
#Rwby#NSFW-ish#raven branwen#weiss schnee#team ndgo#pyrrha nikos#reese chloris#elm ederne#yang xiao long#arslan altan#penny polendina#ruby rose#neopolitian (rwby)#coco adel#summer rose#winter schnee#Miltiades Malachite#Harriet bree#melanie malachite#Velvet scarlatina#willow schnee#glynda goodwitch#rwby salem#blake belladonna#kali belladonna#may zedong#emerald sustrai#nora valkyrie
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NSFW Alphabet: Luke Alvez
A = Aftercare: Luke wasn’t even really into aftercare, seeing that the two of you just rip off each other’s clothes and call it a day. The two of you would just lay in bed and cuddle
B = Body part: Luke is a boob guy (bonus points if you have nipple piercings) He loves resting his head on them, squeezing them, sucking on them. That’s his favourite place to leave hickeys.
C = Cum: Either in you or on your face, preferably your face. It’s kind of Luke’s way of marking his territory, even if he’s the only one seeing it.
D = Dirty secret: Phone sex. Luke will find any reason to call you and do it. He LOVES it for some reason, you never really knew why. All you knew was that it made him happy and you didn’t mind.
E = Experience: Luke has had girlfriends in the past, so he has his fair share of experience.
F = Favourite position: Backshots, Luke loves pounding you from behind. One hand at the back of your neck, pushing you into the mattress, the other one your hip, fingers leaving bruises behind.
G = Goofy: Luke loves to whisper random things into your ear. They’d start out innocent but then turn into something completely different. “You look so pretty with my- wait what if hippos could fly?”
H = Hair: Luke is very well taken care of, he doesn't let it get out of hand, ever.
I = Intimacy: He’s very touchy in the sense that he would whisper sweet nothings in your ear or praises.
J = Jack off: loves doing it on FaceTime with you, something about it always turns the both of you on. It wasn’t really needed at home because two of you had each other but it happened every once in a while if you two were doing it together.
K = Kink: Daddy kink, big time. It had nothing to do with taking care of you, he just loved to hear you say it. Spanking was also one of his favourites, again had nothing to do with punishing you, he just liked to see you squirm on his lap and get wet for him.
L = Location: Shower sex is number one on his list. Even though the two of you have had some slips and bumps, it’s still his favourite. Something about pushing you up against the wall or picking you up and holding you there was just it for him. He always thought you looked so pretty.
M = Motivation: You’re just chilling home in panties and Luke’s t-shirt, the next thing you know, Luke is tossing you on the bed. He loves when you wear his clothes.
N = No: Choking. As much as you wanted it, Luke literally would never do it. After a while, you just stopped trying.
O = Oral: Luke is the most skilled person you have ever met. He’s always told you how he didn’t have many girlfriends and it made you wonder how he got so good at it but you never asked him. You love returning the favour, even if Luke says you don't have too, you want to. He always looks so hot, his hands in your hair, his hips thrusting up into your mouth.
P = Pace: It really depends on why y'all are doing it. If it’s just for fun, it could be anything, depending on how you're feeling. If he comes home angry from a case, he’ll pound you until you can’t move anymore.
Q = Quickie: He didn’t mind a quickie, especially if he knew he’d be out on a case for the next few days. He’d make you stop whatever you’re doing and the two of you would end up a sweaty mess on the floor.
R = Risk: He’s the type of guy that would make you sit on his lap in public and his hands would slide further up your thigh each time you moved. Eventually he’ll pull you away and ruin you but he’d take you somewhere away from people but somewhere you could still get caught.
S = Stamina: Luke’s got amazing stamina, he could go all night. Once he edged you until 3 am, when he finally gave in. Afterwards you were so tired and he just turned to you and asked “round 2?”
T = Toys: He’s not opposed to toys, he’s got a few of his own and you have your own too. The two of you experiment with toys all the time, whether it’s sending him to work with a cock ring or him controlling the vibrator at dinner with his friends.
U = Unfair: He wasn’t one for teasing, he gave you what you wanted. Every once in a while, he would tease you and it would go on for hours. This would only happen if you gave him attitude.
V= Volume: Luke was a very vocal person, sometimes it’s praise, sometimes it’s any nasty idea that pops into his head or just him moaning. He’s just a loud person.
W = Wild card: He loves to praise you. Anything you'd do, he’d tell you something sweet but especially in bed.
X = X-ray: It’s not secret that Luke has a nice ass body. Chiseled abs, his arms, literally his whole body looks like it was sculpted by the greek gods and he didn’t try and hide that. You didn’t stop your staring either.
Y = Yearning: You just have to watch out half naked and Luke is ready to go. You always joke that he’s like a horny teenager
Z = Zzz: The two of you never went to be right after, you’d move to the couch to watch something or to the kitchen to eat or go on a walk.
#luke alvez#ssa luke alvez#luke alvez x you#luke alvez x reader#luke alvez x y/n#luke alvez smut#Luke Alvez headcanons#luke alvez one shot#cm#cm imagine#cm imagines#cm headcanons#cm smut#cm oneshot#criminal minds imagines#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds smut#criminal minds headcanons#criminal minds oneshot
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj
ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS
IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting 📷"
"he's a himbo basically"
"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan"
"I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names"
"bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"°0° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"ł â m p"
"łæmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders"
""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great
i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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