The One You Need | one
đ¶ I spent most my life thinkin' love was out of reach,
so maybe just this once,
you could be the one I need,
if you let me be the one you need đ¶
Pairing: neighbor!joel miller x f!readerÂ
Rating: explicit, 18+ minors dniÂ
Summary: when you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at an armâs length, your neighbor Joel finds his way into your life.
Warnings/Tags: au, neighbor joel, age gap [reader is late 20s/early 30s, Joel is late 40s], slow burn [ish], hyper-independent reader, a bit of a misandrist mindset [boys are problems], mentions of family drama/turmoil, passing mention of death [elderly neighbor], brief non-violent use of a pocket knife, mention of stabbing [as self-defense], furniture building, reader described as female, hair long enough to tie up, no other physical descriptions, eventual smut, protective!joel, soft!joel, no use of y/n.
Word Count: 4.6k
Series Masterlist | part two
a/n: this is my first time writing with this sort of format so pls be gentle. iâve done my best to tag as thoroughly as possible, but if you think iâve missed something, let me know. i have no outline for this. but iâve got a whim and a direction and iâm going with it.
**please read the warnings/tags for every part as they will be updated**
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Youâd done it. Finally. No one ever thought you would, including you. And yet, here you were, lugging your sparse personal belongings out of the back of a U-Haul truck and in through the front door of your new home. And for once in your adult life, it wasnât in some impersonal apartment building or complex. It was a house. In a town that was actually affordable, though it was further from home than you mightâve preferred. A town that was away from family, which had been the impetus, but also away from friends, which hadnât been.Â
There was a perk to this being the first house youâd ever moved into. Being confined to seven hundred square feet had meant there was only so much room to fill. And it had all been cozy. But now there was a bit more space to work with. Not to say this house was large by any stretch of the imagination â it was on the smaller side of all the houses in the neighborhood â but you had rooms now. And as you loaded in different boxes and suitcases full of clothes and books, you realized how much of the space was going to be left empty. With the exception of a mattress, bed frame, dresser, a couple chairs, and bookcases, you left every other large piece of furniture behind. Couches, dining table, kitchen chairs, media console, TV⊠you planned on buying all of that in town. You only wanted to bring what you felt you could move yourself.Â
It was the season of life you were in. Young enough for people to say you had time before focusing on creating a family for yourself, but not young enough to avoid their awkward and worried glances when you told them you were only focused on your career. It was odd; never something that settled right. With each birthday, every time a candle was added, the world around you seemed less secure with your aloneness. As if you, a single female, were something of a threat to the rest of the world. Your solitude, an act of rebellion. God forbid you didnât have a man to look after you. In your experience, boys didnât do too good a job at much. Were they useful? Absolutely. Youâd much rather delegate tasks to a boy than have to do them yourself. Mow the lawn, fix a creaky door, seal a drafty window, get you off⊠sure, there were any number of things a boy could do, but not only were they not necessary, you generally found you were better at any job than they were. That had been instilled in you long before you began dating.Â
How many times had it been proven that dad could not be held accountable for his entire emotional spectrum? And instead you, a mere child, were to be responsible for it. Though it wasnât always bad â somewhere deep down you knew your parents had done the absolute best they knew how to do with the tools they had â but the emotion dad was never short on was anger. Thus, it was the emotion he was most comfortable expressing. And yes, you apparently were the catalyst for all of his loud expressions of anger and rage. Everything was always conditional. Iâm sorry but you did thisâŠÂ
I love you butâŠ
By the time dating had entered your life (which only happened post-college), letâs just say no therapist was surprised by the pattern of boys you chose to have in your life. All of them modeled the thing you were familiar with, which only served to imbed the quality you hated most about yourself. There was a tendency to accept any treatment a boy was willing to give you, without expressing needs or desires or even if there was a problem. Boundaries? Never heard of her. As far as boys were concerned, they seemed to have carte blanche over you. Your own resentment and anger would grow by the lack of your needs (which had never been verbally expressed) being met, until youâd had enough and cut them off. Every new relationship felt like a complete betrayal of yourself.
The highly independent and âdonât need a manâ personality quirk had strung a ribbon of apathy around your life. You liked to think of it that way. Like a Christmas bow around a present. Realizing you didnât care about forming intimate relationships with men seemed a little less painful when given the image of a box neatly wrapped beneath a tree donning tinsel and colorful lights. It was at that point, while pondering your ribbon of apathy and clumsily shoving your mattress up the front porch steps, that a voice interrupted your progress.
âLemme help yaâ with that, maâam,â
The voice had arms. And those arms were simultaneously reaching for the same end of the mattress you already had hands on. Instinctively, you tugged your bed out of reach, âI got it.â But hands kept coming. They were insistent. Of course they were a manâs hands. A woman wouldâve listened the first time. So with an extra strong tug and a tone that spat fire, you turned toward the owner of the hands and stood your ground, âI said, I got it!â
Dark brown eyes that almost looked black had the sun not been playing in their favor. They were soft. Gentle. Despite the fact that heâd just gotten yelled at. And those soft dark brown eyes⊠well they looked dumbfounded. Whether it was because of the volume of the statement or the fact that people generally didnât turn down friendly help here in the South, he lifted his hands off the mattress and held them up innocently.Â
The force with which your action had been committed meant that the moment he released the bed, you went stumbling over, the entire thing thudding down on the porch. You shot him another icy glare as he slowly backed off the steps, though he remained in place and watched you crouch down to lift your mattress once again; the pad now harboring dirty stains.
âCan I help you with something in the truck?â He offered again. Unwanted persistence was a uniquely male quality.
âI donât need your help, thanks. I got it,â
He watched for just a second longer at the image of you fumbling with the heavy mattress, barely able to keep it upright. Then he turned on his heels and went back from whence he came. Which you came to realize, when you looked over your shoulder to ensure heâd actually gone, was across the street and a few houses down. Fuck. Back in California, not too many people were neighborly but it wasnât a point you were hoping to make. Especially not on the first day. There was a quaintness to the idea of a neighborhood full of people who liked and looked out for one another. Youâd just hoped that wouldâve come in the form of some old, opinionated woman sipping tea in a rocking chair on her front porch. The kind that maybe the kids were afraid of, but she was awesome. Thatâs when it came to mind that maybe that was the void in the neighborhood you were filling. You were to be the crotchety old woman, yelling at âthose darn kidsâ. Fabulous.
Unfortunately (for no other reason than your own ego) you only got the mattress in through the threshold of the front door before it fell to the side and flopped back down to the floor. With a sigh and a thought that maybe it wasnât so bad if it just lived there, you stepped over it and padded into the kitchen. Managed to place the boxes designated to the room in it, but had yet to unpack anything. You turned on the tap and tilted your head to the side, leaning in to take a sip of water directly from it. Only to find that upon turning off the tap and looking out the bay window by the sink, the man that had offered to help was visible from his yard. He wheeled out his trash and recycling bins to the curb. Resting his hands on his hips, he glanced around and took stock of the neighborhood. All seemed quiet and to his liking.
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Joel liked routine. Habit-forming had become a sort of habit. It meant he knew what his days looked like. It meant he was prepared. And after having been handed a life where being ill-prepared meant something was going wrong, there was great comfort in knowing how things were going to go day by day. Though he wasnât rigid. He could include new things in his routine. For instanceâŠ
One morning he woke up, made his usual pot of coffee before work, and stood out on his porch. Itâd be one of his only moments to slow down and actually notice the day. Thatâs when he noticed something new in his routine. A âFor Saleâ sign went up on Mrs. Wilsonâs front lawn. Everyone in the neighborhood had been expecting it because, well, Mrs. Wilson had passed away. In her sleep one night. Joel thought that mustâve been the nicest way to go. And every morning, heâd go out on his porch and ponder Mrs. Wilson before carrying on with the rest of his routine. As such, he saw when it sold and went into escrow. He saw Mrs. Wilsonâs son move out all of his motherâs old furniture until the place was left empty. Everything was routine.Â
That is, until the U-Haul showed up this morning. It was a small one and he remembered thinking there was no way that little truck contained enough furniture to fill up that house. But he brushed it off, continued with his routine, and went off to work. Though he had to admit, he was wholly curious about the new neighbor he was about to inherit.
He left his jobsite early afternoon, his truck ambling back to his house when another neighbor waved him down to stop him.
âHey, Mr. Cole,â Joel smiled at the elderly man. Mr. Cole had been the first one to greet Joel when heâd first moved into town. Mr. Cole knew everything going on in the neighborhood, courtesy of Mrs. Cole.
âYou see that gal move into Mrs. Wilsonâs house?â
Joel nodded, âsaw that woman move in, yeah.â
âMighty pretty,â
Joel chuckled, âsurely not as pretty as Mrs. Cole,â
âI donât know,â
Joel laughed a little harder. âIâll see yaâ around. Stop snoopinâ.â
Heâd only just arrived back home and parked his truck in the driveway when he saw you struggling with the mattress. And his mama raised him better than that so he went to offer his help. There hadnât been a fiber in his being that thought youâd snap back like you had. Thatâs why he tried a second time. And when the second snap was stronger than the first, he raised his hands and backed off.
Shit. Out-of-towners were getting meaner and meaner.
He meandered to his house and only looked back once, just in time to see the mattress fall to the floor just inside the front door. He smiled to himself and continued on with his routine as much as possible. Tomorrow was trash day which meant the bins needed to be brought out. Simple enough task, just the way he liked it. He liked it even more when he spotted a glimpse of you looking at him through your kitchen window.Â
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You forwent unpacking anything that day. It wasnât worth it. Nothing you pulled out would truly have a place to live until you got the furniture situation handled. And seeing as though your bed was still in the entryway, you figured there were bigger problems to handle. But just by looking at the hallway, and the thin doorways, you knew you were going to have a hell of a time bending and twisting the mattress to your will⊠and the architecture. Grocery shopping proved to be more time-sensitive, and once the fridge was as fully stocked as your bank account would allow, it already started to feel more like home. Which also meant, the way youâd snapped at your neighbor started to bother you more. You had to live in this personâs realm â whatever that looked like. He was your neighbor, and short of literally becoming the crotchety old woman that never left her home, there wasnât a way for you to avoid him altogether. He seemed to have a lot of friends on the block. Thatâs also when you decided to suck up to your pride. To apologize to this man who really didnât deserve an apology at all. Whatever it took to just live in peace.
The more you thought about it, the more it angered you. That was pretty par for the course. It wouldâve been more odd if a man wasnât pissing you off. It was still running through your mind as you plucked a six-pack from your fridge and crossed the street in the direction of his house. You thought about how you were going to have to plaster a phony smile on your face and make niceties to this person who you didnât want to get to know. You just wanted to live. And you thought youâd have more time. As you ascended his porch steps, you made for the front door, zeroed in on it.
âHey,âÂ
The voice startled you, tripping over your own feet and stumbling, very nearly losing the six-pack of bottles to the wooden porch. You glanced over at him, and in the dim light his porch light gave off, watched him take an acoustic guitar out of his lap and set it beside his chair.
âHi,â you mumbled and walked in his direction. âIâm your new neighbor,â
âI know. You yelled at me,â
You rolled your eyes, âI didnât yell at you. I was just letting you knowââ
âSâfor me?â
You looked back down at him and noticed how he pointed at the six-pack of beer. âWe got off on the wrong foot and I just want to live in peace and quiet so,â gesturing to the beer, âpeace offering.â You handed the pack to him.
Joel cradled the cardboard sleeve in his lap and pulled out a bottle. âWant one?â
âNo, thanks. I just came to drop them off,â
He flicked his eyes up and pulled out a second bottle. Then, setting the remaining bottles on the floor beside him, he twisted the first cap off. âSânot nice to yell at someone and then refuse their offer to share a drink,â
âI didnât yell at you,â
âSit down.â
And for whatever reason, you listened. In the past, had any man spoken to you like that, especially one you didnât know from Adam, youâdâve smacked him. But not this time. This time you sat in the chair perched next to his and awkwardly took the open beer from his hand when he passed it over to you.
The silence that ensued was tense and palpable. Neither willing to bend first. Joel kept his eyes focused on his beer bottle and you kept your focus on⊠him. Naturally suspicious and wary, you thought if you kept your gaze on him, youâd catch him before he did anything out of hand. But really all you noticed was the way his nose had a slight downward curve to it. And the way the graying hair at the back of his head curled along his neck. And the way his beard, also graying, came in in patches, but in the most endearing way. Wrinkles and worry lines had etched their way deep in his forehead. Crowâs feet found a home in the corners of his eyes. Both told you this was a man who had felt and lived a lot of life: the good and the bad. You thought you saw a small scar on his cheek just below his eye, but you couldnât be sure. The man was middle-aged. His skin and hands gave the appearance he was a blue-collar, working man whoâd spent his life in the beating sun.
âGet everything moved in?â He took a sip and eyed you, aware that you were nodding, but still the glance he gave you made you think he knew you were lying. Obviously you were.
âMy bed is still by the front door,â you relented.
âNot where Iâd recommend a bedroom be, but to each their own,â
âI canât get it down the hallway by myself.â You tried to ignore that he seemed to light up at the admission. You? Needing his help? âItâs too narrow,â
âWant help?â
You looked at him almost incredulously. Had you treated California neighbors the way you treated them, you'd have been lucky if you didnât find your car keyed the next day. But he was offering his help? Again?
âYouâd help me after the way I yelled at you?â
He pursed his lips and shrugged. âYou didnât yell at me,â another smile flashed over his face and he looked over at you again.
You hated that it made you smile, too. Yet you waved him off. âThatâs alright. Iâll figure out a way,â
Joel chuckled and shook his head, taking a pause before he downed another long sip of his beer.
âWhat?â You urged.Â
âSânothinâ,'' he shook his head again with another grin. âKnow you probably could figure out a way, but⊠sâjust that you donât need to. Why wonât you let me help you?â
You sucked in a deep breath, âlook, Iâm sure youâre a nice guyâŠâ you trailed off realizing you didnât know his name more than referring to him to yourself as that nosy neighbor guy.
He seemed to pick up on it and pointed to himself, âJoel. Miller,â
âBut I donât need a guy to get on with life, yâknow? Iâm a self-sufficient woman. I donât need to rely on anyone but myself.â
Joel finished off his beer and stood up from his chair, âacceptinâ help when itâs offered isnât relying on anyone else. It just makes life easier.â He started down the steps and crossed over his lawn.
âWhereâre you going?!â
âTo move your bed!â
Leaping up from your chair, you ran after him, in quick pursuit as he neared your home. You knew it was a wreck inside. Trash and boxes everywhere. Not ready for any visitors, even ones you didnât want there in the first place.Â
âReally! Itâs alright.â When that didnât stop him from advancing toward your house, you tried another path, âthe bed frameâs not even put together!â
âThen Iâll put it together,â he said over his shoulder, nearly in your front yard now.Â
You managed to lunge forward and grab onto his jacket sleeve, effectively stopping his advance. At least for the time being. âI donât usually let men I donât know into my home,â
âWhat?â
âYou know⊠in case theyâre crazy and kill me.â
Joel furrowed his eyebrows, utterly perplexed. He tried to make heads or tails of you as a whole and was having a hell of a time trying to do so. But he shoved his hand into the back pocket of his jeans and produced from it, a pocket knife. He unfolded it, which gave you some pause, but then he quickly held it out for you to take. You did, and as soon as the small weapon left his hand, he turned and continued toward your porch.
âHey! What am I supposed to do with this?!â
âStab me,â
âWhat?!â
He ascended the porch steps and waited at your front door, where you soon joined him. âIf I do something weird, and you think Iâm gonna kill you in your own house, you can stab me. Full permission,â
You looked down at the knife, and then back up at Joel.Â
âCan you open your door?â
Gulping down nerves, âitâs unlocked.â
âStill,â Joel pressed a smile, âIâm not in the habit of letting myself into womenâs homes. Iâd prefer if you opened it and let me in.â
For the second time today, you found yourself doing something all because a man told you to do so and you wondered if the move was making you soft. Regardless, you reached past Joel, pressed down on the lever, and nudged the door open. It stopped short from opening all the way as it hit the edge of your mattress. Joel flicked his eyes at you, as if silently saying see, you need me.
He shimmied his way in, with you close behind, half-heartedly pointing the pocket knife in his direction. He bent over and picked the mattress up off the floor, seemingly with ease. Though you did hear his knees click when he crouched down, but due to his age, you thought better than to bring it to attention. Hell, even your knees creaked every now and again.
âIâll go backwards and steer it. Think you can be the muscle?â He waited until you nodded and set the knife down, and gathered your hair in a messy bun on top of your head to keep it out of the way. Poised at the other end of the mattress, he lined it up for its plight down the hallway. âAlright, nice and easy,â he began to pull, feeling more frictionless movement as you began helping on the other end. It wasnât too hard; more awkward than anything. But he guessed the mattress weighed as much as, if not more than, you, so by yourself it mustâve been like dragging dead weight around. âEasy, easy,â he murmured, tilting the mattress to the side to accommodate for the doorjamb, âthatâs it. Take it slow,â he elongated the end of the word, completely focused on the side of the mattress as it brushed along the door. âWeâre in,â
You helped him lean the mattress out of the way and against the wall. âThanks for your help, Joel,â you backed up toward the door, hoping heâd follow you.
But he ignored you completely, and instead found the parts to your metal bed frame laying on the floor. He lowered himself to his knees and inspected it. âYou got a Phillips head?â
âJoelâŠâ
âSâgonna take me ten minutes. The longer you stall, the longer Iâm gonna be here.â
He had a point. And a very good one at that. So you turned and all but ran down the hall, searching for the box youâd so astutely labeled as âtoolsâ. A fear set in that the longer you were away, the more time Joel had to go through your belongings (albeit sparse). You didnât want him getting too comfortable in your home, least of all in your bedroom. So you rushed, tore open the âtoolsâ box, dug through it until you found the screwdriver, and then raced back down the hall as if youâd have time to catch him snooping. But as soon as you arrived back in your bedroom doorway, you didnât find him snooping. You found him still on his knees, crawling around, laying the different parts out to make the square your bed would soon sit on.Â
Joel smiled when he noticed you returned, and held his hand up to take the screwdriver from you. Only when he grabbed it, his face turned to horror and he grimaced at the pink floral design on the handle. âWhatâs this?â
âA screwdriver,â
âItâs got flowers on it,â he protested.
âItâs cute!â
He chuckled and started putting the bed frame together. âYâknow they charged you thirty percent more because they slapped flowers on it and marketed it toward women,â
You sat on the floor beside him and watched him work. âWell if I have to be the man in my life, my tools are gonna be a little more feminine,â
Joel glanced at you momentarily. Just long enough to question your statement, but not long enough for you to really notice heâd stopped working at all. âWhat about the actual man in your life?â
âDonât have one. Donât need one. Iâve got my floral tool set to prove it,â
A hum was the only acknowledgement Joel gave to that. As if that answered all his questions.
âWhat?â
âYou talk a lot about how you donât need anyone. Iâm gatherinâ you actually only mean you donât need a man. Which is fine and all, but sâjust that that seems kinda lonely.â He set the screwdriver down and held the next two pieces together. âYou remind me of me ten years ago. Stubborn. Determined to be alone.â He moved on to the next piece, âthing is⊠if you donât need anyone, it also kind of implies that youâre not needed by anyone. And what good is life if you canât give yourself to someone in that way?â
Jaw-dropped, you gathered yourself, eyes widening. âWow, your wife must love having you as a husband,â
He smiled and chuckled, âI donât have a wife.â
âSo what do you know about giving yourself to someone and being needed?â
Joel flashed his eyes to you. Gentle and filled with love, âI have a daughter. Sarah. Sheâs in college now. Sheâs quite literally the best thing thatâs ever happened in my life,â
âI wouldnât have pegged you for a father,â
ââCause I look so young?â He grinned and tightened one final screw. With the frame now positioned where it needed to be, he stood up and went back to your mattress. You scooted out of the way as he single-handedly maneuvered it onto the frame and adjusted it until it was just perfect. âCheck it off the to-do list. Now you can get a good nightâs sleep,â
You admired his work and it wasnât lost on you that it only took him a third of the time it wouldâve taken you. Before youâd even gotten through that realization, Joel had already passed you and had made his way back out to the hall, where he walked down it back toward your front door. You followed after him, remaining quiet as he picked up his pocket knife from where youâd left it and tucked it back into his pant pocket. His hand got to the doorknob and you still hadnât spoken, so he was the one to bite the bullet.
âYou know, I never got your name.â
Heat crept up your neck, trying to make a home in your cheeks, as you mentioned your name to him. He smiled and nodded but offered nothing more, so you figured it was still your turn. âThanks for your help, Joel,â
âNo problem,â he waved you off.
âMaybe if more guys were like you, I wouldnât hate them so much,â
âGive it time. Youâll be back to yellinâ at me soon.â He opened the front door and took a step through it. âGive me a holler if you need something, you know where I live,â
âWill do,â
He started to close the door but then opened it again and poked his head through. âMake sure you lock the door this time,â
You pressed a smile and approached the door where he waited until your hand was on the knob. With one last quiet goodbye, he pulled the door shut and you followed it up by locking it. Then with little time to spare, you ran to the window in the living room to watch him walk away. He pressed his hands into his pockets and looked around. Then a smile stretched over his face and he kicked at the grass before he crossed the street and moseyed back to his house.
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purity and its presence in growth
đ¶ now playing: my heart it beats for you - grentperez
P: Soul (Haku Shota) x Fem!Reader
S: Moving to Korea in the peak of your adolesence isn't easy. You just happened to be there to help. How can he miss you so much even though you only knew each other for an hour? Maybe exchanging numbers was a better idea than he thought.
C: fluff, cute moments, inaccuracy, brainrot, baby p1ece don't slander me, needed to get this into my drafts immediately, kinda sloppy, drabble, puppy love, longer than it should be
N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. i saw somewhere online that said soul moved to korea when he was 13 for fnc and somehow this idea began to brew in the deep depths of my strange brain. im a little new to piwon so if i get something wrong im sorry :P any ages mentioned are korean age, not international. his name means like 'child with a pure soul' so thats why the title sounds so poetic but okay enjoy the potato child content
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please interact if you enjoy!
After the almost 3 hour flight to Incheon, Shota stands in the airport mindlessly, staring at his phone and trying to resist the urge to call his mom. Though he knew that she'd pick up in a heartbeat if he did, he suddenly had a rush of independence surge through his veins when he stepped off the plane, telling himself every day was gonna be lonesome and that he'd have to learn how to get around. It wasn't until he got near the exit that he realized he had no idea what to do.
He should ask someone. There was a high chance quite a few people on that flight could also speak Japanese, but even so, he couldn't muster up the courage to talk to anybody. So he stood awkwardly, out of the way, watching all the people walk by and glance at him periodically.
He'd been studying Korean during his break time at school while at home in Japan, but he was afraid he'd say something wrong and embarass himself.
His eyes wandered amongst the people, and past the crowd of tall adults, there was you. A girl, who looked around his age, spacing out by some suitcases while some other adults, probably your parents, were talking to the clerks at the service deck. He took a deep breath, dragging his suitcases along with him as he shuffled past the bustling crowd and up to you.
"Excuse me." He mutters, catching your attention. "I need... to go... to this place. I.... don't know how." Your head tilts a little, confused while the cogs begin to turn in your head while he shows you the address. "You need a ride?" He nods. "Well, there's the railroad, but maybe a taxi can get you there faster..."
Now he's the confused one. "Could you... speak... slower?"
"Do you understand Korean?" You ask. He gestures with his fingers almost pinched together, meaning a little. "What other languages do you speak?"
"Japanese."
You smile. "If I'd known that, I would've answered in it then." You say, switching tongues so smoothly Shota's brain nearly fails to comprehend what just happened. "Where are your parents? Mine are taking too long at the desk."
"I came alone. My mom might come in the next few days to help me with moving. And send me off.â
"You and your mom are moving here? What about your dad?"
"No, I'm moving here. Alone. Just me. For work." You eye him and the two suitcases at both of his sides. "You look my age. How do you already have a job?"
"Um... I'm a trainee." Your eyes widen as you begin to nod, shocked. "Really? Already?" He nods as your eyes observe him again. "Cool. That's- wow, okay..." You struggle to finish your sentence, cutting yourself off. "Right, you need to get around- okay. Um, you could follow me. I know how to get the one way passes. Do you have money?" He nods. You begin to walk away as he trails behind you, following you to some sort of kiosk.
Guiding him through purchasing a pass, your parents meet with you by the railway, scolding you for walking off without informing them first before stepping on and finding seats on the train. The boy sits down next to you in the window seat, staring out at the scenery for the first time. "You could have taken a taxi, but I felt like I should've stayed with you. Y'know, so I can tell you more about how to get around and stuff."
"Thank you, by the way. I appreciate this. I think I would've gotten run over without you." He jokes lightheartedly. "No problem. I suddenly felt nice for once, so you're lucky you caught me at a good time." You send him the same energy, both of you laughing as the train begins to move. "When you get off with us, you can ask for a taxi, they'll drive you to the exact address. Iâm sure you already know that, though." You add, him nodding before leaning fully back against the chair.
"What's your name?"
The question catches him off guard, staring at your awaiting face, almost forgetting to answer.
"Shota."
The way he introduces himself to you makes you smile. "L/N. Nice to meet you. It's nice having someone to talk to at my age that speaks my mother tongue. Even if all we do is just sit here and pass out while waiting to arrive." Your matching humour is something that sticks out to Shota, one that he likes laughing along to. "It must be scary, flying here alone and having to figure things out on your own. Especially with how young you are. I hope you'll do okay when we part ways."
"I'm still here for now. What are you and your family doing here?" He changes the topic, not wanting to think about you having to leave him so soon. "My dad's side of the family is Korean, so we come here often to visit them. We're considering moving here, since their side is trying to convince me to sign up for a career in modelling. They always say I 'have the visuals', which I don't see, but it wouldn't hurt to try."
"Don't forget me when you're famous." Shota says.
"I could say the same for you, Mr. Trainee. You'll make it far, I bet. I'm looking forward to your debut already."
"And I'm looking forward to seeing you on the billboards." You both smile at each other, a brief moment of silence settling between you two. Shota feels a tap on the side of his arm, head turning to look at you. You hold your phone towards him, the keypad open and empty. "Is it okay if we exchange numbers? This may be the only time we ever see each other, and I like talking to you. And you can text me if you ever need anything. I respond very quickly." Your attempt at convincing him was not needed, as he took your phone out of your hands swiftly and punched his number in. You did the same for his phone when he handed it to you, creating your contact for him.
L/N (ăÏă)
You write your name in Kanji for him, hearing him huff after you hand back his phone. You couldn't see the soft smile that adorned his face after seeing the contact name you set for yourself, as your eyes were already beginning to shut and send you into a deep sleep. For the rest of the ride, Shota looks out the window and all the buildings they pass by. Feeling a light weight against his arm, his gaze moves to check.
Your head rests against his arm, Shota listening carefully and hearing soft, deep breaths come from you. At first, he nearly freezes, but forgets about it and relaxes, letting you doze against his arm, checking on you periodically until the train reaches your stop.
Your parents are the first to see you two in that position, and while Shota's first instict is to panic and apologize, the idea quickly goes away, a smile on your mom's face as she shakes you gently to wake you up. When you first open your eyes, you see your mom, then turn to see Shota staring at you, nearly leaning against the window. You slowly begin to put the pieces together, embarrassed when coming to the correct conclusion.
When you wave as his taxi departs from the train station, reality dawns upon him. Heâs alone, and heâll have to figure out more than just how to get around since youâre gone now. He didnât want to have to depend on you and annoy you all the time, so he vowed to himself that heâd learn and teach himself, along with the help of his fellow group members.
âââââââââââââââ
After Shota settled into the dorm and was toured around headquarters, the feeling of lying in bed suddenly felt more desirable than he thought itâd ever be. Itâs been a few days since he parted ways with you, and he was hesitant to text you for some unknown reason.
He stared at your open empty message box for a while, spacing out until his phone starts buzzing in his hand. He reads your name on the screen, realizing you were calling him. He sits up, still in shock at the timing that he almost forgets to answer.
âHello?â He greets, almost unsure. âShota! How are you? Sorry I havenât texted or anything, Iâve been having a lot of meetings with my family and stuff.â Heâs frozen in place at the sound of your voice, so gleeful than how you first met. âNo, itâs okay. I spent the last few days settling in so itâs fine.â
âAre you busy right now? Am I calling at a bad time?â
âNo.â
âAre you okay? You sound nervous.â
He sits there for a moment, taking a deep breath before responding.
âI kinda miss you.â Itâs embarrassing for him to admit, but he really does. âOh.â He hears you mutter over the phone, probably unaware that he heard. âI miss you too, Shota. It sounds strange, but I do get worried about you sometimes. But the fact you picked up the phone is assurance that youâre okay, soâŠâ
âItâs a bit hard when you arenât around, yâknow? Like, I donât know, maybe itâs because you can speak Japanese and Iâm not afraid of messing up in front of you because I can speak my home language, but itâs hard to talk to other people. Even my groupmates. I can understand what theyâre saying, but Iâm too nervous to mess up to even say anything to them.â
âWell, you canât get better at speaking if you donât speak at all. Itâs okay to make mistakes, Shota. I made a lot when I was learning too. At least you try.â
âKeeâ I mean, one of my group members is teaching me. He had to learn it too.â
âSo youâre both learning together! Thatâs good, you both share learning experiences. Iâd love to teach you, but itâs kinda hard over call.â
âBut itâs possible?â
âYeah.â
He ponders for a moment before coming up with an idea. âI have a laptop. We can video call when Iâm not busy.â
âReally? Are you okay with it?â
âIâm the one that asked.â
âDo you think we can call⊠for non-lesson purposes? Yâknow, just to talk?â
He huffs, and thought you donât see it, you hear a smile in his tone. âOf course. Iâd really like that.â
The door to their room opens, Jongseob entering. âHi Soul.â Apparently his voice picks up on the microphone, because you ask, âWhoâs that?â
âMy roommate. One of them.â
âWho are you talking to?â Jongseob asks, looking over at Soul. âMy friend.â
âWhoâs your friend?â
âWe met at the...â Soul knows the word, but is worried heâll say it wrong.
âAirport.â You find the word for him, saying it into his ear.
ââŠAirport. She helped me.â He finishes his sentence with your help.
âShe? Arenât we not allowed to talk to girls as trainees?â
âWe arenât?â
âI think so? Maybe Iâm thinking of something else; I keep in touch with my friends so I think itâs fine.â
âAre they all boys?â
âMostly. Some girls.â
âI canât talk to you anymore?â You ask, Shota almost forgetting he was on call with you. âWe can. I think. Weâll do it in secret.â He hears you laugh on the other end. âSoul?â You say, overhearing the name his friend called him.
âMy Korean name. I came up with it. With my roommates.â
âItâs cute! It suits you.â For some reason, he feels too flattered at your compliment. He overhears someone yelling in the background. âI need to go and help with dinner. Iâll talk to you soon! Bye!â
âByeââ He gets cut off by the sound of the call ending, letting himself fall back onto the bed, arms sprawled out. Jongseob looks over again at his roommate, whoâs staring at the ceiling. âAre you okay?â He asks. Soul lazily responds with a thumbs up. âWhat happened?â
âCute.â He mutters loud enough for his roommate to hear. âCute?â Jongseob questions, puzzled. Soul points at himself, the cogs turning in his roommateâs head briefly before his eyes widen in realization. âShe called you cute?!â
âMy name.â
âYour name? She called your name cute? Soul?â He nods, Jongseob more shocked than he shouldâve been. âDonât fall in love yet, Soul, we havenât debuted yet.â He jokes lightheartedly before he goes back to scrolling on his phone.
For a while, youâre the one to initiate calls. You always hesitate, knowing how busy he is, but you eventually learn that heâs off on Sundays and is usually off training well past 10 in the evening. If otherwise, he calls you first.
He enjoys talking to you a lot. Heâs more comfortable speaking his home language in general, and the fact he has someone to talk to in it makes coming home from practice even more exciting.
His roommates would wonder why he rushes to his room so quickly the minute they step foot back in their dorm, but donât question it. As long as he was able to talk to you, through call or text, he was able to stay sane.
While on FaceTime with him, the door to his room opens, as it usually does when you two call, this time a different man you havenât seen before by the door. You eventually met Jongseob, the first guy who walked in on the two of you calling, and saw what he looked like, but this guy was definitely not him. He looked a little intimidating.
âSoul, do you want anything? Weâre ordering delivery.â The man asks, Soul looking back at him. âFries.â
âJust fries? Like usual?â
âI want⊠the same thing as you. Except large fries.â
âOkay, sure. Whoâs that?â He seems to have noticed your face on Soulâs phone screen. âMy friend. This is Keeho.â He introduces the man at the door to you, the name familiar. âHeâs teaching you Korean?â The man gives a thumbs up, switching to a wave. âHello, Soulâs friend!â He greets, his smile ridding all your previous opinions of him being intimidating.
âHello! Iâm just talking to Soul for a bit. How are you?â You reply, Keeho equally befuddled as Soul when he first met you, and how you switched tongues so effortlessly. âIâm doing well, thank you. How did you two meet?â
âAirport. I helped him get around for a bit.â
âOh, really? Thatâs cool. Iâll be heading out now, sorry to interrupt.â Keeho waves at the camera again before shutting the door. Soul turns back to face you. âHe looked scary.â You admit. Soul seems to agree with you, given the expression on his face. âThatâs what I thought too! But heâs really nice and funny.â
âHow many of your roommates know about me?â
âHeâs the second one.â
âAnd how many roommates do you have?â
âFive. Plus me, so six.â
âSix?! And you share a room with how many people?â
â3 per bedroom. The whole place is actually quite roomy.â
âI donât think Iâd surviveâŠâ
âIf youâre rooming with just girls, youâll be fine. Boys, howeverâŠâ
âYeah, I get what you mean.â
âââââââââââââââ
âYou got a haircut!â
âYou noticed.â
âOf course I noticed. It looks really good!â
âI got something else too.â
âWhat is it?â
Soul grabs something out of frame, eyes focusing on his fingers. âKeeho and I went out today. I found these rings and bought them.â He curls his hand into a fist, showing them off to the camera. Itâs a variety of different skull rings, a few on his right hand and a few on his left. âCool! Whereâd you get them? I want some for myself.â
âI can just give you one.â
âReally? But you just bought them.â
âWhen we meet up sometime, you can pick one.â
âAre you sure?â
âIf it helps remind you of me.â
Your face goes warm. âYouâre so sweet, Shota.â
âDid you cut your hair?â He asks. Youâre surprised he noticed, given how subtle the difference was. âIt was just a trim. And they made it flowier or something.â His head moves closer to the camera. âAre you keeping it this short?â You shake your head. âGetting rid of split ends and stuff. Itâll grow back eventually.â
âItâs very pretty. It looks good on you.â
âThank youâŠâ You mutter, flustered for a reason you canât make out. How noticeable could a subtle change be that it could evoke such words not meant to be anything more than meaningful?âI really want to see you.â
âYouâre seeing me right now.â He jokes. âI know, but⊠in person. I feel kinda limited only being able to see you on my laptop or phone screen.â
âMe too. I havenât debuted, so itâs kind of risky for me to be hanging out with a girl. Outside.â
âThey donât know weâve been calling?â
âThey know. But itâs more discreet this way because no one can see us.â
âWhen are you debuting?â
âI donât know yet. And if I did, I donât know if Iâd be allowed to tell you.â
âIâm good at keeping secrets! I still remember some from 5th grade.â
âIf you say so.â
âOh, I just remembered I needed to tell you something.â
âWhat is it?â
A smile slowly grows on your face. âIâm moving here.â Shotaâs face is equally as shocked. âReally?â
âI got signed with an agent and got a few bookings! Theyâre small, but theyâre something.â
âL/N, thatâs amazing! Youâreâ youâre gonna be famous! Iâm gonna see your face in all the stores!â You laugh at his enthusiasm. âHey, maybe when weâre both famous, we can hang out in public! Maybe we can collaborate.â
It was always moments like this, purity radiated off your interactions. Youâd get excited over the thought of seeing each other in person, what youâd do when you finally meet up, and how long youâd hang out together (you two always insisted on a night at your place). What youâd talk about, the kinds of pictures youâd take, what kind of food you could eat.
After all, you two were still kids.
You celebrated his 16th birthday late into the night, on voice call after his in person celebration with his roommates. He wished you were there as he blew out the candles on his cake.
âHappy birthday, Shota.â You softly greet, knowing heâs on the verge of falling asleep as he laid in bed. âThank you.â He mutters, voice muffled, his face buried in his blankets. âI wish I could be with you in person. I got you a gift.â
âReally? You didnât have toâŠâ
âI wanted to. Iâll give it to you when we finally meet up.â
âWe always say weâre gonna meet up, but when? I donât know if I can wait much longer.â
âItâs only a matter of your schedule. Iâm free most of the time.â
âMaybe after I finally debut this yearâŠâ Shotaâs eyes widen, realizing what he just said. âWhat? Youâre debuting?â
âI didnât mean to say thatââ You squeal softly over the phone in an attempt to not wreck his ears. âWhen were you going to tell me?!â
âHonestly, I forgot. I forget a lot of things.â
You stifle a laugh. âIâm so proud of you! All your hard work is finally paying offâ maybe we really can see each other! When are you debuting?â
âSometime later this year. Itâs why I havenât been picking up your calls, Iâve been really busy recording and stuff. Sorry.â
âDonât be. You do what you gotta do, okay? Just call me whenever you arenât busy. Or text. Or whatever, Iâm okay with anything.â
Shota softly chuckles. âSo what did you get me?â
âItâs a surprise. Youâll find out eventually.â
âIâll be 17 by the time I get that giftâŠâ
âKeep your head up, Shota, weâll see each other soon enough. You sound tired. Get some rest. Goodnight.â He breathes slow and deep before replying. âGoodnight, L/N.â He ends the call, taking out his earbuds and putting them and his phone on the small, crowded bedside table.
âWas that L/N?â Jongseob asked groggily. Soul replied with a monotone âmmmâ, meaning he was right. âWhoâs L/N?â Theo asks from the far side of the room. âSoulâs friend. They call all the time.â
âYou talk to her like sheâs your girlfriend. How you want to see her all the time and stuff. Itâs cute.â Theo mutters, Soul barely making out what he said. His face goes warm at the assumption. âWe havenât seen each other⊠in 2 years. Weâve only met once in person.â
âAnd training is holding you back from seeing her? Thatâs why you video call?â Jongseob puts two and two together, receiving the same monotone response from Soul. âWeâre off tomorrow. You can see her then.â
âBut we havenât debuted yet.â
âSo? Intak meets with his friends all the time.â
âTheyâre all guys.â
âSoul, you canât exactly be deprived of meeting up with your friends. And what if sheâs a girl? If you want to hang out with her, hang out with her.â Theo speaks up, voice clearer now that his head isnât buried in his blankets. âThis goes for you too, Jongseob. You guys are still kids. If youâre being forced to be an adult in the industry, at least try to have fun while youâre still young outside of work.â
Soul lays there for a moment. âWhat if sheâs sleeping?â He asks aloud. âThe fact she called you this late means sheâs probably still awake at this time.â Jongseob says, convincing Soul to pick up his phone one last time for the night. He opens your contact in his messages, typing swiftly.
Iâm off tomorrow. Can we meet up?
By the time he falls asleep, he receives a message from you.
Yes please (ââœâ)
âââââââââââââââ
âL/N? Youâre seeing her today?â Keeho asks, making himself a bowl of cereal as Soul eats his own. Soul responds monotone with his mouth full, his leader sitting down with him. âDo you want me to go with you? I wonât stay the whole time, Iâll just drop you off with her then walk around myself, might just get some new clothes.â
âYou bought new clothes a week agoâŠâ Soul thinks.
âAre you gonna get her something? How long are you gonna be out for?â Soul shrugs his shoulders at Keehoâs question. The other bedroom door opens, Jiung emerging from the dark room with a loud yawn before closing the door. âMorning.â He greets, going for the same breakfast choice as the two boys sitting at the table.
âDoes he know?â Keeho points at Jiung with his thumb. âJiung and Intak donât know.â The boy at the kitchen counter looks at them weirdly. âMe and Intak donât know what?â He questions, suspicious of his two group-mates. âL/N.â Keeho answers.
âWhoâs L/N?â
âHe doesnât knowâŠ!â Keeho whispers.
âOhâŠâ Jiung says after a brief moment of staring into space. âIsnât that Soulâs girlfriend?â
Keeho nearly chokes on his cereal. âGirlfriend?!â
âNo, sheâs my friend!â
âOh, my bad. Youâre always smiling at your phone and you talk so lovey dovey in your room. The walls are quite thin.â Soul couldnât figure out what was more embarrassing; the fact that the people in the other room could hear him talking to you or the fact two people thought he had a girlfriend. âWeâre still trainees, Jiung, we canât date. Besides, heâs only 16.â
âJust saying. Maybe after we debut, you can dateââ
âJiung, if you donât stop talking, Iâm going to cut your hair off in your sleep.â Keeho threatens. It seems to work, given that Jiung begins to eat his breakfast in silence. âI guess he does know.â Soul mutters, mostly to himself.
âSo are you getting her anything?â Keeho asks, going back to his answered question. âRing.â Soul shows off the accessories that decorated his fingers. âReally? I thought you said youâd never give those away. And that youâd end the world if you ever lost themâŠâ
âI promised. And we can match.â
âAww.â Jiung coos, the two boys at the table glaring at him. âWhat?â
Keeho turns back to Soul, taking their empty cereal bowls and stacking them on top of each other. âGo get changed, weâll leave soon.â He says, going to put the dishes in the sick.
By the time Soul gets back to his room, Jongseob and Theo are awake, their lamps on. âMorning, Soul. How are you up so early?â Theo greets, Soul shrugging in response. They watch as their early bird roommate picks an outfit, throwing his clothes onto the bed. âAre you going somewhere?â Jongseob asks.
âIâm seeing L/N today.â
They both look at him, wide eyed and now fully awake. âReally?!â
âIt was your idea.â He says, referring to both of them. âWhen are you leaving?â Theo asks, eyes still on Soul. âSoon. Keeho is walking with me. Then weâll be on our own.â
âSo itâs like a date?â Jongseob nudges Theo hard in the side. âDoes everyone think that?â Soul groans, his roommates heading for the door.âEveryone that knows.â Jongseob smirks before he shuts the door, leaving Soul alone with his thoughts in the bedroom.
On the walk there, Soul plays with his fingers, fiddles with his rings, almost too nervous to even function. Keeho seems to notice, giving him a pat on the back. âThereâs nothing to worry about, Soul. Youâve seen each other, you know each other. Youâve been looking forward to this for so long, whatâs wrong?â
âItâs⊠different in person. Iâm excited, but Iâm scared IâllâŠâ Soul looks for the word, Keeho noticing him struggling to finish his sentence. âEmbarrass yourself?â Soul nods. âYouâve seen all sides of each other, Soul. I hear you laugh at like⊠11 in the evening. I think I heard you fall off your bed once.â
âSheâs seen that side of you. Iâm sure youâve seen that side of her, too. Youâll be okay.â Keehoâs words make up the rest of the walk, as Soul stops in his path as his eyes land on you, sitting on a park bench perfectly shaded by a tree. He stands there, simply admiring you, and how heâs so happy heâs seeing you not on his phone screen.
He pulls out his phone, opening your contact and sending you a text.
Look to your right đ
You do exactly that, and though youâre far away, he sees such a bright glow in your eyes as you get up and run over to him, jumping onto him for a hug. Soul is surprised at your sudden gesture, but happily accepts, holding you tight and even spinning you around.
âShota! Iâm so glad youââ You notice Keeho out of the corner of your eye, simply smiling at the two of you. âOh, hi Keeho...â You greet awkwardly, embarrassed that he saw the whole thing. âNice to meet you, L/N. How long are you gonna be out for?â
âUntil Soul wants to go home. A few hours, maybe.â
âMake sure you two stick together, okay? Otherwise all of us are gonna get in trouble in one way or another.â Keeho says lightheartedly before walking off. You look back at Soul, whoâs staring at you with the brightest sparkle in his eyes. âYou look even better in person.â You say, brushing his hair out of the way.
âAre you saying I donât look good when we call?â
âIâm saying you look good no matter what.â
âCan I say the same for you?â He asks, as if youâre going to say no. âI actually want to show you something. And I have lots to tell you.â You take his hand without a second thought, pulling him with you. Heâs caught off guard with your sudden gesture, but doesnât protest in any way. Really, he enjoys it.
âIs this okay with you? Sorry, I forgot to ask.â Shota nods with a smile, and thatâs all the assurance you need to keep your hold on his hand to guide him. âI hope we can meet like this again sometime. All the time.â
âHey, Iâm here now. Worry about that later.â
âYouâre right. Come on!â You tug on his hand as you begin to lightly jog across the street, slowing down when you get nearby. âOkay, close your eyes.â Heâs confused at first, but obliges. You guide him to an outside display of a clothing store. âYou can open them now.â
Shota uncovers his eyes, seeing your face on display as a model for said store. âItâs you!â He exclaims as you nod off to the side. His gaze switches from you to the photo and back, and he finds himself staring at it for almost too long.
âI want a picture with it.â You laugh, taking his phone from him and snapping a few photos, switching to silly faces for the camera. âDo you like it?â
âI love it. You look so pretty. Beautiful.â Your face goes warm as you stare at him, and he stares at the photo. âYou look really good.â He smiles, and your heart starts racing like never before. âShotaâŠâ You mutter into his sleeve, holding onto his hand again. âWhat?â
âLetâs go. You can see my face some place else.â
âCan I get a photo with them too?â
You roll your eyes, unable to hold in your laugh. âSure. You can take as many photos as you want.â
The day is full of you running around, taking photos, sharing food and drinks. And for almost all of it, Shotaïżœïżœïżœs hand is in yours, and his grip never loosens. He never wants to let go.
Sitting at an outdoor table of a small cafĂ©, you hand Shota a gift bag. âWhatâs this?â He asks. âHappy belated birthday, Shota.â At the sound of that, he looks through the bag, taking out a small potato plush. âCuteâŠ!â He mutters, squeezing it in his hands. âI have one of my own. It came in a set, so I gave this one to you.â
âI love it.â He smiles, going through the bag again. Thereâs something at the bottom, which he grabs and pulls out. Itâs a bracelet, similar to the one you were wearing at the moment. âI wanted to give you something that reminded you of me. If you ever get lonely. Sounds cheesy, butââ
âIâm never taking this off.â His dramatic reply cuts off your sentence as you help him tighten it on his wrist. âI want to give you something too.â You tilt your head. âBut it was just your birthday. Shouldnât you be the one receiving gifts right now?â
âWell, as someone once said, I want to give you something that reminds you of me.â Shota holds out his hands, showing off his rings. âPick one.â
At first, youâre shocked. âReally?â He nods, watching as your eyes scan over his fingers. âThis one.â You point. He takes it off and puts it on for you, and it somehow fits just fine. âI feel so cool now! Thank you.â
On the way back to your place, Shota holds onto your hand again, to the point where if he were to let go, youâd feel like you forgot a piece of yourself. âAre you walking back alone?â You ask, looking up at the sky, which painted a pinkish sunset above. âKeeho is gonna meet me here after you go inside.â
âI just donât want you walking by yourself. Itâs a bit scary.â
âI know. But everything is under control, so Iâll be okay.â
When you reach your home, you turn to look at your friend. âToday was fun. I wanna hang out with you like this again.â
âSo do I. But Iâm⊠yâknow, Iâm busy. With a lot.â
âI know you are. Iâll be waiting for you, Shota. Iâm always ready.â
âHaku.â
âHuh?â
âMy name. My name is Haku.â
âHaku Shota?â You clarify. He nods. âYou have such a pretty name.â
âYouâre pretty.â
Oops.
He didnât mean to say that out loud. While he was embarrassed, your heart was racing. Your face was warm, and it matched the sky.
âYouâre pretty, Haku. You are⊠very handsome.â
You understand how he feels now, attempting to return the compliment. âAm I weird for saying that? Because⊠I really do mean it. Iâm just awkward.â You explain. âNot at all. Have I been weird? Calling you prettyâŠ?â
âNo! Noâ youâre, youâre okay. I liked itâ I mean, umâŠâ You stutter over your words, cursing at yourself for revealing too much. Haku laughs. âIâll call you that more if you like it so much.â
âIf you want to kill me, go ahead.â
âI thought you said you liked it.â
âIâll die of a heart attack. Iâll die happy.â
âSoul!â Someone calls. Itâs Keeho, waving at him from afar. âThanks for today. Iâm⊠I really liked spending time with you.â Soul responds with a long, tight hug, the feeling of being in his arms comforting. âI donât wanna let go.â Soul mutters into your shoulder. âYouâre gonna have to at some point.â
âWhat if I donât?â
âShotaââ
âIâll just stay with you so then we can hang out all the time.â
âYou know you canât do that.â You hear him sigh and reluctantly pull away. âBye, L/N.â
âY/N.â
âHm?â
âItâs Y/N.â
He huffs with a smile. âBye, Y/N.â He waves as you walk off, walking towards and with Keeho once he sees you let inside your house. âHow was it?â
âReally fun. Iâm already excited for another one.â Keeho looks at Soulâs hands, noticing one of his fingers bare, a bag in his hand, and his wrist adorned with a new bracelet. He really gave you one of his rings. And you gave him something too.
Though this was your first hang out in a few years, Keeho sensed something unbeknownst to Soul that was bound to bloom at some point. He just didnât know when.
When they got back to the dorm, Soul went straight to his room and changed, lying down on the bed with your contact open. He changed your name.
L/N Y/N (ăÏă)
And sent you one last text for the night.
You have a very pretty name (*ÂŽêł`*)
Make that two.
Goodnight (_ _).ïœĄoâ
âââââââââââââââ
You find it odd that it took you two years to find out each otherâs first names, but life goes on the way it always does.
You also found it odd that you enjoyed talking to Shota so much. Youâve always enjoyed talking to him, you just enjoy it a lot more now. Maybe too much.
You were the first person he texted when he debuted. You were also the first person to see any of his performance videos. One thing stayed consistent throughout:
He was wearing your bracelet.
Sometimes it would be hidden under his sleeve, the strings to tighten it peeking out just a little bit. He really meant it when he said he would never take it off, even if that meant getting into trouble with the stylists.
You were peaking in your career as well. Youâd gotten a lot more busy with bookings and shows despite being so young. But despite your schedules, you always found time to talk to each other, like always.
And you even found time to hang out in person a lot more than before.
You started wearing masks in public. Sometimes you got recognized, and so did Shota. Nothing too drastic to the point where paparazzi started following you and taking pictures from the bushes. Shota was still careful, though. A scandal too soon into their debut could wreck him and his groupâs career.
As careful as he was, Shota still held onto your hand in public. He was much more nervous now that more people knew who he was, and he always found himself latching onto you. The language barrier slowly began to shrink for him, his Korean improving, but he had a hard time talking to strangers. To his group, he was fine.
He couldnât stop the uneasy feeling in his stomach the closer they got to the counter. Why was he so nervous? He felt like he couldnât talk to anyone at all. âCould I get a 2 with onion rings?â You ask, the cashier at the till looking at Shota next. He was frozen in place, staring at her, suddenly squeezing your hand with a tight grip. âAnd a 5. Large fries.â You order for him, paying and taking the receipt and cups.
Shota sits down at a table by the window, ashamed and embarrassed, guilt overwhelming him. It wasnât such a big deal, yet he felt like a failure for not being able to do something so simple. âDo you want to share?â He doesnât respond, staring and spacing out at the table mindlessly.
You sit in the chair across from him, looking around to see if anyone is watching. You place your hand on top of his, rings colliding with each other, which brings him back to reality. âWhatâs wrong? Are you okay?â You ask with such genuineness that he feels guilty for even worrying over such a trivial thing.
âNothing, itâs⊠itâs stupid. So stupid.â
âI canât know how stupid it is if you donât tell me whatâs bothering you.â
Shota looks up at you with puppy eyes, breaking eye contact once he begins to speak. âI⊠um, I froze when we were ordering. You do it for me all the time and I wanted to do it for myself this time but I just couldnât⊠talk. I couldnât speak, Iâve been getting better at talking but Iâm still scared to even order my own foodâ this is so dumb.â He rests his head on the table, messy black hair hiding his face.
Your hand moves from his hand to his head, fingers running through his hair as you caress him. âDonât beat yourself up about it, Shota. Iâm glad youâre trying, youâre having confidence in yourself. Itâs good to take it slow sometimes. Iâm always here for you, Keeho is always there for you, your group is there for you! Thereâs always next time, okay? It may seem like a small step to others, but all that matters is how much it means to you. Weâre always here for you. No matter if itâs me or anyone from your group.â
When he lifts his head up, your hand naturally moves from his hair down to his face, your thumb resting on his cheek. âThank you.â The sparkle in his eyes comes back, as he stares at you for a long time, yet you donât seem to mind and reciprocate it. Noticing how you two probably look to bystanders, you pull your hand away, face warmer than it should be.
âUm, do you just wanna share? I forgot to ask for medium instead of large.â You refer to the cups in your hand, and he nods, watching as you stumble while getting up from the chair and over to the drink fountain. The cup presses against the trigger, watching as the soda fills the cup to the brim.
As you walk back and grab your order, you canât help but overthink. Why did you do that? It looked so intimate, and if people knew who you were, if people knew who he was⊠youâd both get in trouble. Shota would get in trouble because of you. You knew him too well to know that heâd take the blame and risk getting kicked out not even a year into their debut.
When you bring the tray to the table, you feel his eyes on you, and your heart had no reason to be beating so fast in the moment. âAre you okay? You look worried.â This time, Shota asks you. Your head perks up at his voice, snapping you out of it. âIâm okay. Letâs just eat.â
Everything goes back to normal in your silly, lighthearted fashion. Youâd steal fries off his side, heâd drink from your straw, and you two would just mess around as you always would. No one came up to either of you with your masks off, so you two continued to be yourselves in the moment, with no one staring.
You find beauty in his personality. How you get to see him like this since you two are so comfortable with each other. Is he like this at his dorm? Probably. But is he ever this excited? Maybe not. You get to see him at full energy, unhinged and expressive, a side that the public might not see in him. And you felt so incredibly lucky.
Shota liked the way you stared at him, and the way a smile would creep up on your face. The way youâd hit a table over and over again or clap your hands when you found something funny. The way youâd pick up on his subtle hints and gestures and how youâd always found a way to make him feel better, the way youâd instantly recognize whatâs wrong. You were patient with him, and thatâs all heâs ever wanted.
He saw Keeho like an older brother; he acted the same way you did, but there was something different about the way you approached things. The way you werenât afraid to be so physical with him, and how he wouldnât recoil from your touch. He loved your hugs, and the way youâd bury yourself in him whenever you did.
Soul finds himself thinking of you at the dorms. He always thinks of you, but this was thinking of you at an extreme. You were on his mind 24/7. Heâd think of how much fun certain practices would be if you were there. How youâd criticize him for putting the seasoning packets after putting the ramen in the bowl. Sometimes heâd imagine getting surprised by you. What would happen if you walked through the door right now?
You two saw each otherâs quirks and you loved them. You saw sides of each other that the public couldnât, and it made you both feel special. When you felt your heart racing when you thought of him, you couldnât help but feel full of dread.
When he saw your photos or clips of your shows, he hated that his face went warm when you came on screen. That he was so hyper focused on you and nothing else.
You were smart. Emotionally and academically. You knew what was happening, but didnât want to accept it. Really, it was process of elimination.
You started to have feelings for your best friend.
And you hated it. You hated it because him being in the industry pretty much means that he canât date at all. Youâd have to live with feelings that would never be reciprocated, and sometimes it hurt whenever you saw his face, especially when he was looking so damn good.
So you always stayed in denial of your feelings. You gaslighted, convinced, manipulated yourself to get over it, but nothing worked. You couldnât help that your best friend was just that talented and attractive that when he texts you, you feel butterflies in your stomach and a smile grows onto your face.
Soul, however, was much more unaware of it. He never liked anyone. He was left alone with his thoughts for majority of his childhood, and had female friends but no romantic attraction to anyone.
When he finds himself pondering at the kitchen table, spacing out as he tries to figure out his feelings, his older brother figure, Keeho, sits down with him, after noticing Soul leaving the last bit of food in his bowl and just staring blankly. âYou okay?â His voice snaps Soul out of it as he nods.
Intak sits down in the other seat with his own bowl, unintentionally now being a part of the conversation. âSomethingâs on your mind. You can tell me, I wonât judge.â Soul knows Keeho wonât judge. Intak, howeverâŠ
Soulâs gaze moves from Keeho to Intak. âIntak wonât care. Whatâs bothering you?â
âWhat are we talking about?â Intak asks, clueless.
âL/N.â
âWhatâs up with L/N? Didnât you just see her last weekend?â
âIs L/N that girl Soulâs friends with? I saw her advertising a brand at a department store the other day.â Intak overhears, pitching into the conversation. âYeah, thatâs her.â
âWhatâs wrong? Did she insult you or something?â
The more Soul tries to think about it with the words in his head, his heart beats faster and faster that he brings his hand to his chest, feeling the rapid, strong pulse against his palm. How did you manage to make him feel like this? Like he was speechless?
Keeho seemed to notice something, because he moved Soulâs hand and put his own on his chest, feeling how fast it was beating and how powerful it was. âYour face is all red. Are you having a fever?â Intak asks, totally opposite to what Keeho is thinking.
âOh my god.â He starts, acting overdramatic. âYou like her.â When Keeho says it, it makes Soul cringe, and he hates that he came to the same conclusion. âSoul likes who?â Intak is still clueless about the whole situation, probably tired out from practice that day.
âL/N, you idiot, get your head out of the clouds.â
âI like her. A lot.â
âYou like her as more than a friend?â Keeho clarifies, Soul nodding. He can see the conflict in his leaderâs eyes, a sense of understanding yet a tinge of guilt. âI know we canât⊠date. I really want to. Sheâs the first person whoâs ever understood me⊠ever since I got here.â
His leader sighs. âI think you should tell her. But⊠be careful. Youâre putting a lot of things at risk here.â
âI know I am.â
âSoulâs a pretty quiet person. He should be okay. I mean, as long as none of us ramble about it, we should be fine.â Keeho nods along, his face content. On the inside however, he knows damn well all of them ramble way too much.
And they could ramble about you and Soul.
âShould I text her?â
âTell her in person. If you really like her, and you really do mean it, you need to tell her the next time you two meet up.â
âBut what if I canât say it?â Keeho is well aware of Soulâs problem with freezing up when talking to others, yet this was something bound to happen, even with you. âSheâs patient. Sheâll wait as long as she needs to for you to say it. Youâll be okay, Soul. Iâm pretty sure she likes you back.â
âShe does?â
Keeho scoffs. âHave you seen the way she is around you? Sometimes she stutters over her words when youâre around, sheâs always waiting for you, she lets you take her food⊠thereâs a whole list that goes on for a while.â
Soulâs gut feeling was right. He did have a crush on you. A really big one that would only grow if he didnât do something about it quick.
âââââââââââââââ
He arranged to hang out with you the following week. His heart would not stop beating as if it was about to soar right out of his chest. He swore that if you put your thumb on the right spot on his wrist, youâd feel how nervous he was getting as time passed, and he did not want that happening soon enough.
You noticed something else. He seemed a lot more tense, spaced out, and hesitant. To be honest, you were almost the same. You hesitated to hold his hand like you usually did when you walked with him, worried someone would recognize either of you and see what was happening.
Anything simple youâd over-romanticize. Heâd block you from the wind. Heâd freak out and any display of you and take a picture of it, smiling as he checked them one last time for any retakes. How heâd play with your hand when you two sat together. When youâd share your food.
Everything you did normally was now something you saw as something beyond your friendship. You wanted it to be that way, you really did, but knowing Soul, as clueless as he is, he probably didnât mean anything at all behind his actions. Everything has just been so normalized between the two of you.
Your heart raced as fast as his. One could say that if you compared both of your pulses, they would sync up, or be extremely close in heart rate. His face had the slightest tinge of pink that you noticed under certain lightingâ you didnât get to look at it long since he didnât want to call you out for staring.
âI really like your hair colors. Theyâve all looked really good on you.â You say, Soul surprised at the sudden compliment. âIâve only dyed it once or twiceâŠâ
âAnd it looks good. Even your hairstyles! The braids are so cute! If it gets long enough, I should give you pigtails.â
âLong enough that hopefully I donât get scheduled for a haircut.â
âIâd cry, honestly.â
Shota stops in his tracks in front of your place, the sudden tug on your hand holding you back. âI need to tell you something. Itâs been⊠stuck in my head for a while.â He admits, kicking away a stone at his feet. âWhat is it?â The look you give him almost makes him back out, but he knew keeping it in for longer would only eat at him. And it wouldnât be a while until heâd see you again.
âUm, Iââ
âSoul!â
Shota turns around at the sound of the voice, Keeho standing at a distance and waving at him. He turns back to face you, taking a deep breath.
âL/NâŠâ
âI like you.â
He notices the shock in your expression, your eyes widening slightly and jaw slightly hanging open.
âI like you a lot.â He continues.
Shota doesnât know what to make of your blank stare at him, since you do so for longer than you shouldâve. âI-I know itâs hard for us to do any relationship related stuff because of our careers. Um, I get if youâre worried about all of this and dating in general butâŠâ
âShota.â You cut him off, his eyes landing on you. You take both of his hands, thumbs brushing over the metal of his rings. âI want to go out with you.â You say so forwardly that he almost becomes the shocked one. âI really like you. I really do. I⊠I donât want your career to be ruined because of me. You worked your ass off for this and God knows how much weâve been separated because of it.â
You squeeze his hands, looking at how they intertwine. Shota speaks up. âIs it crazy that I like you so much?â
âHow much?â
âThat I feel like youâre the only one whoâll ever understand me? That youâre the only one Iâve ever had actual genuine feelings for? Am I too young to be thinking about these kinds of things?â
âI ask myself the same questions. Every. Single. Day.â
He giggles, feeling your head lean against him. You look up, chin resting against him with a light in your eyes he hadnât seen before. âI donât think youâre crazy. I think weâre two teenagers stupidly in love.â
âSoul, hurry up!â Keeho calls.
You can practically hear him roll his eyes the way he scoffs, making you giggle. âGo out with me.â He asks, more of a statement than a request. His chin rested atop your head, his hand rubbing your back with reassurance. âMâkay.â You agree with a smile, voice muffled.
âWeâll keep it a secret.â
âEven from the guys?â
âIâll do my best.â
âYour dad is calling you.â He laughs at your joke, noticing you lost in thought. You pull away a bit, looking at the ground for a moment. In one swift movement, you tiptoe and peck his cheek. âBye!â You briefly bid, briskly walking away. Shota raises his hand to where you kissed him, almost forgetting in his moment of bliss that Keeho had already called him twice.
The walk back is mostly in silence, Soul doing his best to stop his giddy little smile on his face from growing any more. Keeho didnât look back at him once.
The sun is fully set by the time they arrive back at the dorms, Keeho entering with an extravagant greeting. âWeâre baaack!â He gleefully exclaims. Shuffling can be heard from a distance as the boys begin to take off their shoes. âSoul, how was theââ Theo starts, being cut off after seeing something on Soulâs face.
When he gets up from kneeling down, Theo notices a light pink mark on Soulâs face, and it for sure was not his blush. âYouâ Sheââ
âWhatâs happeningââ Jiung is equally as shocked as Soul walks into the main space. âOh my god.â He mutters, hand going to cover his dropped jaw. âShe kissed you!â Theo exclaims. Keeho immediately comes running over, grasping Soulâs face and turning it to find the mark. He gasped louder than he shouldâve when he found it.
âJust on the cheek.â Soul felt like he had to specify, but the three boys continued to jump around and freak out over the mark. âCute! Ughâ we need to meet her sometime!â Jiung gushes.
âShe just kissed me today and you guys already want to meet her in person?â
They all nod.
âI think you guys would scare her. Itâs a bit cramped in here⊠and we arenât even allowed to have girls here.â
âMaybe weâll run into her during a photoshoot! Sheâs getting pretty famous nowadays.â Jiung adds. âIâve already met her so many times, just saying. Sheâs cool.â Keeho bragged before walking into his room.
Intak enters the living space, wondering why Theo and Jiung are crowded around Soul. Keeho goes back out to join them with his empty bottle of water, originally with the task of refilling it. Soul feels a buzz in his pocket, taking it out to see your name on his phone screen.
âSheâs calling you!â Jiung gasps, Theo shushing him right after. Soul swipes right to accept the call. âPut her on speaker!â Intak whisper yells, Soul holding out his phone for his group members to huddle around it.
Jongseob comes out of his room, joining the boys even though he had no idea what exactly was going on. âHello?â Soul greets. âHi Shota!â
âI thought we just saw each other 20 minutes ago. Do you miss me already?â He jokes, attempting not to stutter over his words. âOh, weâre speaking in Korean now! I see how it is.â He can hear your sarcasm over the phone, a smile growing on his lips. âWhatâs up? Did you forget something?â
âMy parents kinda caught us outside. When IâŠâ
âOh. Right.â
âThey want you to come over.â
âSo soon?â Intak says a little too loud.
âWho was that?â
âNo oneâ just a show in the background.â
âOh. Well, youâve met them before. On calls and stuff, they know who you are. You know them, right?â
âYeah.â
âBecause they saw⊠us⊠they want to meet you. I told them about how busy you were and your schedule and that it wouldnât be for a while until you were free againââ
âY/N.â He cuts you off for a second. âIâll let you know when Iâm free.â
âReally?â
âI want them to know Iâm a good person. That I am doing my best for you.â His groupmates gush audibly, and it definitely picks up on the microphone. âYouâre going to make me miss you a whole lot more if you keep talking like that.â Soul chuckles. âTheyâre listening, arenât they?â
âWhat?â
âYour group. That did not sound like a TV show in the background.â
They all look at each other, surprised. âUm⊠maybe?â
âAghâ they heard all of that?! So embarrassingâŠâ
âThey wanna meet you too. My group.â
âI thought girls werenât allowed in your dorms.â
âOutside of the dorms. Possibly in a work environment?â
âThat could work! Iâm already looking forward to it.â
âTheyâre all weird.â Soul feels everyoneâs eyes on him. âA bit. Just saying.â He hears you giggle on the other end.
âShota?â
âMhm?â
âI love you.â
It goes dead silent for a moment, before all the boys erupt into loud cheering and hollering, Soul having to cover his ear to hear you. âIs it too soon for me to say that?â You ask.
âDid you mean it?â He answers with another question, silence on your end for a second.
âI did.â
âThen no. If anything, I think youâre 3 years too late.â
âHave you been waiting that long for me to say it?â
âMmm, maybe just half a year.â
âFigured.â
âY/N?â He switches back to Japanese.
âYes?â
âI love you too.â
Though in another language, the boys can understand the small phrase, their montage of cheers going on for longer than it should have.
âââââââââââââââ
As both of you had begun to become more globally renowned, so did your relationship with each other. At first, it was viewed as the two of you being very close friends. After certain interactions and nitpickings, people began to question the nature and status of your relationship.
People noticed the ring on your finger and how it looked exactly like the ones on Soulâs. When the string to tighten his bracelet was visible from under his sleeves, some made connections to learn that it looked like yours. Neither of you took it off, even during work events.
If it couldnât be on your wrist, you managed to use your bracelet as an anklet. It was more subtle, but you ended up having to send pictures to Shota to show proof you kept it on.
Strings were pulled. Your company met with his, and despite their strict dating laws and restrictions, they managed to work around them. You just hoped they werenât bribed in any way.
You did end up visiting their dorm a few times after the workarounds, and Shota was always there at the door to be the first person to greet you. His physical touch became more than just holding your hand. He clung onto you; he loved hugs, he loved hugging you.
You loved his hair, playing with it and tying it up into different hairstyles. Pigtails, braids, the occasional half up ponytail. You were always fascinated at the fact every single colour looked so good on him.
The rest of the boys had to get used to your presence. Given you didnât visit often since Soul would rather visit you, sometimes the sight of you seated with Soul on their couch was a shocker to them. Keeho got used to it the quickest.
From your perspective, you were overall cautious but at the same time didnât care if any news of the two of you happened to get out. It would be shocking from one end, but it would follow with claims saying that it was bound to happen sometime. Considering how young you were, sometimes you had your doubts. Most of the time you forgot about those doubts.
As for someone like Shota, with his growing popularity and presence in the K-pop industry, he was worried one little leak would cause him to get kicked out of his company. Until paparazzi footage of the two of you, his hands wrapped around your waist to meet in the front as you waited at a bus stop, was posted on a website.
You both panicked. You apologized, he apologized; it was a lot of back and forth. All that came from netizens was the mutual discussion of the chance that you two might be in a relationship. The girl on billboards across Korea going out with a rising star in K-pop? Both of them soon to be international? It was unexpected.
The public was pleasantly surprised. It was a match they hadnât expected, so much so they decided to try and guess how you two met and how your relationship started. Though you never went deeper than cute photos and interactions that just had to happen in the public eye.
Soul was asked the question a few times.
âIs Y/N a close friend of yours?â
âWhatâs your relationship with the model?â
The members would either glare at the interviewer or look at Soul worried. Heâd always respond with:
âSheâs my girlfriend.â
Which pretty much revealed the terms you two were on to every person on the internet.
The boys always took pictures and videos of the two of you as well, if you were ever to end up working together somehow. If you came to the dorm, or if they ran into you two in public. Youâre certain Intak and Theo have way too many photos of him falling asleep on you or vice versa.
Soul scrolls on his phone, noticing a few posts of the two of you as he goes deeper down the rabbit hole. As he goes to rewatch his dance practice of the day, he gets a text from you.
Shota
Haku
Haku Shota
Hi ïŒâčâĄâčïŒ
Um
I know this is gonna sound like really stupid and crazy and weird
What is it?
Is it okay if I stay at your dorm tonight
Soul looks up from his phone and the condition his shared room is in. Itâs decently clean, at least his area is. Theo and Jongseobâs area is debatable.
Itâs okay if not! I was just wondering
You can
Just let me ask the guys first
Itâs really messy in here
He puts in his phone in his pocket before heâs able to check your next text, reluctantly getting out of bed to go and ask. He opens the door, at first sticking his head out, but then fully shuffling through the door.
âHey Soul. I thought you were sleeping?â Keeho says, going to sit on the couch. âI need to ask you guys something.â
âWhat is it?â Intak adds.
âY/N wants to come over.â
âThis late?â Sometimes it surprises him how dense Intak could be sometimes. âShe wants to stay over. Sleep.â
The boys all look up and around at the area, noticing the slight mess. Despite you seeing the area in such conditions most of the time when you came over, they suddenly felt obligated to do something rather than have you sleep in an environment with said mess.
âWeâll clean up. Tell her we said yes. Is everything okay?â Keeho said, getting up from the couch.
âWe?â
âGet up, Jiung, and let the girl feel welcome.â
âShould I help?â
âMaybe clean our room.â Theo pats Soul on the shoulder, letting him walk back into said room.
Shota???
Are you there?
Pls respond
Sorry
I asked they said yes
Iâm already on my way
Weâll talk more when I get there
Iâll text you
He can hear shuffling and commanding outside his room as he tosses the dirty laundry into their basket in the corner of the room, fixing his nightstand and somewhat making his bed since he was gonna lie down in it immediately afterwards.
By the time he gets a text, the room is mostly clean and tidy, prompting him to go and open the door for you. Your eyes meet with his, though they look dull and tired, more than they would be after a day of shoots.
âHey.â You hide your gaze with the top of your hood. âHi. Are you okay?â
âLetâs talk about it in your room. Is this a bad time?â
âNot at all. Come in.â
You nearly stumble over your own feet going to take your shoes off, Soul noticing thereâs something more going on and itâs not just that youâre exhausted.
Not wanting to be rude, you briefly greet the rest of the boys before swiftly going into Soulâs shared room, Jongseob lying on his bed on his phone and simply acknowledging you when you enter the room, dropping your bag on the floor and plopping yourself on Soulâs bed. He sits next to you, your face covered by your hood.
He gently takes it off in case youâd stop him at the motion, seeing those dull eyes of yours, a bit pink and swollen. âWhatâs wrong? Is everything alright?â He softly asks, holding your hands in the same manner as his voice. âIâm having a few problems at home. Nothing with my parents. Extended family.â
âWhat happened?â
âMy parents are having some maintenance and small renovations done on our house, so weâre staying in an extra room at my grandmaâs for a little bit. My aunt lives in the other room.â
You inhale, trying to grasp onto your words.
âUm, my aunt is being,â you start, âbeing a real bitch. I know I canât say that and itâs rude to even think so but God knows everyone in that room was pissed at her. She insulted my mom and her decision to move here and put me through modelling at such a young age.â
âShe called me a wannabe, and that I wasnât gonna get anywhere in life just posing for the camera. Called me a slut for allowing to be in shoots where I show a lot of skin when really itâs usually just a tank top and a skirt.â
âShe said she felt bad for whoever I was dating that they had to be with a girl who loves showing herself off to the general public. Said I was practically naked if I showed too much skin.â
âSo I donât feel safe or comfortable in that house right now, and my parents were nice enough to let me stay someplace else. They agreed when I told them about you.â
Soul sat there, a silent rage burning through his veins. You had a completely valid reason to address her with such vulgarity. He couldnât offer any advice in the moment, all that he could do was hug you.
âNo wonder she still lives with your grandma.â He mutters into your shoulder, your hand hitting his back hard as you chuckle. âYou canât say that, Shota!â
âWhoâs stopping me? I know you want to say it too.â
âShotaâŠâ
âFine. Only because you donât want me to. Still, Iâm sorry you had to go through all that. Stay as long as you need to.â Soulâs eyes meet with Jongseobâs, their stares translating into sentences.
âAs long as she needs to?â
âJust let her. Please.â
âDonât ask me, ask Keeho.â
Shota rolls his eyes at his roommate, attention back on you. âIâm gonna go change now.â You say, pulling away. âWhere are you gonna sleep?â
âUm, I was thinking we could share your bed. But I can always take the couch if you donât want toââ
âShare. Yeahâ yeah, we can share.â
You smile, kissing his forehead before you leave the room. Jongseobâs eyes are on Soul the minute the door shuts. âWhat did she say?â He meant to ask: âWhat did she say to make her kiss you in front of me?â
âShe wants to share my bed.â
âYou look really nervous.â
âIâm not nervous, just surprised. And Iâve⊠obviously never shared it before.â
âJust sleep normally, Soul. Whatâs so hard about that?â
âDo I snore?â
âYou donât. Theo does. Maybe get her some earplugs.â
âI donât have any.â His roommate shrugs his shoulders.
âJongseobâŠâ
âFine.â He tosses Soul a clean, unopened pair of foam earplugs. âAre you actually that nervous?â
Soulâs ashamed to admit it. âWeâre close, but we havenât been this close before. Not at all. I have no idea if I kick in my sleepâ what if I kick her?â
âYou kick like once or twice but not every other second. Besides, if L/N says sheâs in love with you, sheâs gotta be in love with everything about you. Including your sleeping habits. Sheâd love you regardless of what you do in your sleep.â
You come back in sweats and a loose shirt, going to lay on the bed while Shota sat on the edge. You place your hand on top of his, prompting him to turn around and look at you. âAre you that tired?â
âKorean all of a sudden?â
âIâm getting better, arenât I?â
âBy the day, Shota.â
âTo answer your question, since I was crying for 10 minutes at home, yes, Iâm tired. Are you gonna just gonna sit there or are you gonna get some rest?â Soul simply responds moving you over on the bed so he can sleep on the side closest to the wall. You turn to face him, all flushed and doe eyed. âAm I too close?â Your head rests against his chest and atop his arm, probably the definition of close.
âNo.â
âI can always move ifââ
âJust stay here. Youâve had a rough day.â
His other arm wraps around you, his hand on your back and pushing you closer to him. âDo you think weâre too young to be this in love?â You feel his head move. âWhat do you mean?â
âThat we arenât old enough to make bigger decisions for ourselves? This⊠this is a big thing. People say that weâre really young to already be dating, and I always shrug it off, but itâs bothering me. What if theyâre right?â
âAre you doubting us?â
âIâm not, Iâm really not! People are just overlooking whatâs going on between us and theyâre making assumptions andââ
âThis relationship is only between us and no one else. We donât need to worry about what others think. We only need to worry about each other.â
âYouâre getting good at switching languages smoothly.â You say, trying to sneak a bit of humor in there. âI learn from the best.â His hand once on your back now moved to your head, stroking it smoothly. âIâm really grateful for you, actually. I hope you know that.â His words melt your heart as they always do, but somehow you find them more meaningful.
âWhen you first helped me here. When you offered to keep in touch and look where that brought us. When you donât get bothered every time I ask you how to say something in Korean. And you still like being with me even though sometimes I can be a bitâŠâ
âBothersome?â
âI was thinking annoying, but what you said sounds nicer.â
âShota, I never thought of you as annoying. Youâre teaching yourself with the help of your group getting around and the culture and its differences.â
âHow did you get used to it so quickly?â
âI didnât. Iâve been here so many times to visit but living here? Oh, it was a culture shock to me.â
âSo Iâm really not alone in this?â
âYou were never alone, Haku.â
You called him by his first name.
Your eyes meet at your mention of it, Shota looking at you with such a pure, joy filled gaze that was silent behind his irises. It was moments like this where you got to admire his beauty, how pretty he was, his features and how they worked so well together.
Youâre drawn to him. So much so that you end up giving him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips.
As much as it was a moment of euphoria, the moment you pulled away, you immediately got flustered and embarrassed, turning around since you werenât able to face him. âIâm so sorry, I shouldnât haveââ And seeing Jongseob on the other bed? He heard a lot and probably saw a lot which made the whole thing more embarrassing for you.
You kick your feet slightly, hiding your face in your hands and just then feeling how hot your it was in the moment. Suddenly, you feel his arms wrap around your waist like they did in the photos of you two at that bus stop, bringing you closer into him. âI liked it. It was my first.â He mutters, voice slightly muffled.
âIt was my first too.â You reply, hands off your face and turning around to bury it in his shoulder, still embarrassed to face him. You wrap an arm around him as to hug him loosely. âI love you, Haku.â You raise your head to bump your nose against his. He giggles, hugging you tighter.
âI love you more, Y/N.â
âEven more than your games?â
âMore than my games and my rings. Get some rest now.â
You want to kiss him again in that moment, but he does it for you. Short and chaste, your lips meet long enough to feel each otherâs connection, but short enough that it doesnât escalate.
âAt this point, can you two just sleep already? Iâd rather you hug and spoon than hear you kiss all evening.â Jongseob sneers, almost forgetting he was even in the room. Soul feels you giggle into his shoulder, having you so close being the least of his worries. In fact, it was something he cherished.
Soul never let you out of his hold, and you never let him out of his.
âââââââââââââââ
âïž: guys look at this
âïž: [Two images attached]
đżïž: OMG
đżïž: THEYâRE SO CUTE
đżïž: THEYâRE LIKE CUDDLING AIDHSIDNW
đżïž: IM SAVING THESE THANK YOU VERY MUCH
đș: theo why are you taking pictures of them while theyâre sleeping đ€š
đș: thatâs a little bit weird
âïž: ok but theyâre cute
âïž: youâd do it too
đș: tbh i would
đŻ: they kissed
đș: HUHH???
đżïž: SJAODJEBDIEBDK
đ¶: wait actually
đżïž: where did you come from
đ¶: i was disinterested until i saw jongseobâs text
đș: are we talking like a kiss on the cheek or forehead cuz they do that a lot
đŻ: lips
đżïž: OH MY GOD WHAT
đș: WAIT ACTUALLY
đș: SOUL GOT HIS FIRST KISS
đ¶: keeho u probably havent kissed anyone why r u talking
đș: shut up
âïž: yeah i walked in on them
đŻ: they didnt make out or anything tho i think theyâre both disgusted by the idea of it
đș: thank god
đ¶: you actually thought they were gonna make out or something just from the word âkissâ??
đș: hey you can never be too careful
đżïž: i understood half of what they were saying until they switched back to japanese ugh i could hear them through the wall
đŻ: are the walls actually that thin
đżïž: i hear you scream at your phone every time u watch something scary
đŻ: okay anyways they were probably flirting with each other
đŻ: i was literally there the whole time
đ: (*^âŻ^*)
đ¶: oh shit
đș: morning soul!!
đżïž: why arenât you just talking to each other instead of texting in the group chat you literally share a room
đ: y/n is sleeping (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ
âïž: she actually is do u guys want proof
đș: stop taking pictures of people in their sleep theo ur weird for that
đ: [One image attached]
âïž: and when soul does it ur not gonna say anything
đș: soul dont do that but yall r cute okay
âïž: this is so unfair
đŻ: i have a picture of him taking that picture
đș: what
đ¶: this is so confusing
đŻ: [One image attached]
đżïž: trippy @â@
đș: soul how is she not waking up while youâre texting us
đ: ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
đ: she is so pretty (//â//)
đżïž: UGH EILFIWRNOAN
đ¶: you are so down bad its crazy
đș: jiung is literally squealing into his pillow rn
đŻ: yeah we can hear
âïž: fr tho u guys r cute
đ¶: soul pulls
đ: (ă»ă»?)
đș: itâs okay soul youâll figure out what that means eventually
âïž: just tell him whatâs stopping you
đș: he spends a lot of time on the internet heâll see it one way or another
đ: jongseob i never gave her the earplugs u can have them back
đ¶: is it cuz theo snores cuz honestly thats understandable
âïž: i do not snore that loud okay
đŻ: my bed is right next to yours so that makes it 10 times louder
đŻ: also just leave them on the nightstand soul ill take them back thanks
đș: is someone gonna get up or are we just gonna keep texting here
âïž: soul would but heâs too busy holding his gf rn
đŻ: do u guys want more photos
đżïž: yes
đș: jongseob and theo you two need to stop taking pictures of y/n while sheâs sleeping sheâs gonna think you guys are creepy
âïž: you never said no
đș: and i never said yes
đŻ: soul is shielding her face in some of them tho at least its covered
đżïž: just send them
đ: you can send them jongseob (^^)
đŻ: see even soul says we can
đ: wanna show how pretty y/n is
đżïž: oh my god you guys are so dsibwsidhsi
đș: jiung is freaking out
đ¶: soul i think u killed him
âïž: breaking up at this point would just end the world
âïž: treat her well soul
đ¶: yeah youâve got a good one
đ: im too in love to let go (*ÂŽâïœ*)
âââââââââââââââââââ
and i am but a man, orbiting âround your sun. and itâs you that makes my day, after day. đ§
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