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thatsdemko · 5 months

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who’s the worst of them all? someone tell Santa Claus! - f1 grid

part two | masterlist

warning: not intended for minors + some jokes + fluff/filler part

a/n: hi hi it’s me… I’ve had this written since early November and I’m excited to share!! enjoy!!

DEAR Y/N,

have you been a good girl this year? I heard you’re looking for your stocking stuffed, I think I have just the gift. meet me at midnight for your gift!

secret Santa

you can’t read this out loud, and most definitely not to the public who will view this video later. whoever was your secret Santa, must’ve heard the rumors of your dry spell. and how pitiful was if that it wasn’t even a rumor, it was the truth.

“oh it’s just a sweet handwritten note.” you chuckle quickly flashing the note to the camera before shoving it back inside the off white envelope.

the presenter presses for more information. she asks what the letter contains and who you think it’s from, and in all honesty, it could be coming from anyone.

all the boys handwriting was not legible. it was like getting a doctors script, it could mean anything, but it was clear this individual took their time to make it perfect.

“I’ll have to find out at the Christmas dinner tonight.” you flash a wink in hopes to cover the beet red look against your cheeks.

“well have fun!”

fun… this was about to be nowhere near fun when it came down to narrowing twenty something guys to be your secret Santa.

—

starting off with Pierre. in his bachelor days, he would’ve sent you something like this, but it was always harmless jokes and he would never take it this far. with kika around his arm, you could cross him off the list of embarrassing yourself in front of.

then there’s his best friend, Charles. he always had a wobbly relationship with women, and seeing he’s alone tonight you cross the room heading his way, “you don’t happen to be my secret Santa?” your hands delicately press against his shoulders, he turns around rather quickly at your touch instantly shaking his head, “no, no, I got Pierre this year. you still don’t know yours?”

shaking your head in response, you eye the room from where you stand. the bar had begun to fill with drivers and team members rather quickly. the air was colder now, but the heat from inside was welcoming to those dressed in bare minimum, like yourself. Charles hand against your lower back was like a radiator, the heat spread through your system faster than the log fire going on, “I’m sure you’ll find him.” Charles promises, “but for now, can I get you a drink?”

“please.”

—

the nights gone smoothly and so far you can cross off valterri, Logan, Kevin, and Nico. you’re questioning yuki, Daniel, Lewis, and lando due to their abilities to dodge the questions.

George outright told you it wasn’t him after hearing you’d spun yourself in circles to find anyone new to question. Logan had confessed to having brought up the idea, but refused to give any further information.

and then there was Carlos.

the man who’d been under your nose this whole evening. with his bow tie crooked, and the clock ticking closer to midnight, you meander your way over to where he stands.

“I’m not who you’re looking for, hermosa.”

“and who am I looking for exactly?”

his eyes flicker from the clock, the television highlighting the Real Madrid game, and back over to you, “I’d never send such a cryptic message.” he maneuvers his body to face yours, “I know how to ask for what I want.”

“and what is it that you want?” you press your body closer in to the smooth wood bar top. your mind is spinning, your heart is hammering it’s way out of your chest, and Carlos is inching closer.

“for you to leave me alone.”

“you’re no fun, sainz.” you pout your bottom lip out and spin on your heels to find your body pressed into lando’s.

“you find him yet?” landos cheeky grin makes him look like a Cheshire Cat. ever since he read the note he’d been eager to place the pin on the man and root for your dry spell to end.

for now, it’s ten minutes to midnight and the place was emptying. the alcohol buzzed around the room and the chatter begun to die, it’s ironic how it was a little bit like your heart: buzzing to find the guy, but ready to die at the sight of him.

“I’m sure it’s all just a prank and I’ll have Logan to blame for it.”

“miss,” the bartenders tap against your shoulder makes you spin away from landos chest, “this is for you.”

DEAR Y/N,

giving up? never thought of you as a quitter.

yours

grinding your teeth together you press the napkin into your palm until the ink smudges. you’re no quitter, but if the man with no balls doesn’t show up soon, you’ll leave here ready to slam your car into someone else’s.

“I’m going to head out, you’ll be okay to walk out alone?”

lando’s worries snap your thoughts from the napkin that’s disintegrating into your hands. his touch is soft against your bare shoulder, making your body two degrees warmer than the room, “I’ll be fine, you go home and have a good Christmas.”

“you too, and if you don’t find him—“

“yes, I know, you’ll key his car.”

rolling your eyes, you playfully shove the Brit off into the cold, leaving you and the cleaning crew in silence.

you never noticed how trashed the bar was. in its glory days, you can tell the red thick carpet and white trim around the bar gave the place a holiday feel. and by the old pictures scattered around the walls, the formula one boys had a riot in this place. people from Michael Schumacher all the way down to young Fernando Alonso, the place seemed to always be the home of f1.

looking down at the disintegrated napkin in your hand, and quickly looking up at the clock, midnight had just struck. if he wasn’t here by 12:01 you were a goner. you hated people who wasted your time, you’d much rather be at home or maybe in lando’s warm McLaren buzzing from the alcohol and the warm leather seats.

turning on your heel, he’d just arrived. he’s shaking the snow off his bulky black jacket, shimmering out of the sleeves. a man comes and retrieves it from his grasp, and in typical fashion, he thanks him.

“you thought I wouldn’t come?”

“I hate when people are late.”

“good thing I’m not late then,” he says with a soft smile approaching where you stand at the bar, with your arms crossed tightly over your chest. he leans forward, inching his mouth over your ear, “I’m right on time.”

a/n: take your guesses on who you think it is!! the big reveal happens Christmas Day!

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee @lpab @frreyaa @motorsp0rt @lovelytsunoda @smoothopz z @jaehyunluvcult @iloveyou3000morgan @lunnnix @leclerc13 @goldenalbon

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55sturn · 2 months

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ COVERED IN YOU

↳ masterlist!

↳ summary: in which history has a tendency to repeat itself for matt and y/n, and this time y/n’s had enough of the back and forth because despite fighting it for years, she’s in love with matt, but does he love her back?

↳ pairings: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

↳ warnings: swearing, matt is the epitome of avoidant attachment, no established relationship, ex situationship to enemies to something complicated, making out, suggestive, alcohol consumption, angry!matt, mentions of sex.

↳ author’s note: based off a chris dream i had LMFAO

THIRD PERSON POV

to anyone that dared to ask, most people would imply, rather than flat out explain, that matt and y/n hated one another for good reason. no one would ever divulge into full detail what the good reason was.

most believed it was feelings that were never dealt with, or lingering resentment from a fight that was never acknowledged. a lot of people had their theories, a plethora of them even. but no one but matt, y/n, and matt’s brothers knew the real cause.

when matt and y/n were in their senior year of high school, the year it happened, the two were close. like undeniably and i breakable bond close. they were attached at the hip. but one night things changed when the two of them shared a kiss at some party that eventually led to a much more intimate moment, it being their first of that kind.

from then on, they grew closer romantically. they went on dates, they kissed, held hands, spent hours talking to each other. all for matt to call it off in the middle of them laying in the yard watching the stars.

y/n was confused, to say the least, because she was so sure matt was going to ask her to be his girlfriend after nearly a year of them being whatever they had been. they had already said their “i love you’s”, matt just didn’t think a label was necessary so she waited.

“i just don’t see this going any further than what it is right now.” matt sighs, his gaze flickering from the stars above to the girl beside him, he felt guilty lying to her because in all honesty, she was the center of his universe. but he and his brothers had finally agreed to move to los angeles the second graduation finished, and he wasn’t going to put her though the pain of a long distance relationship.

“that doesn’t make any sense matt, you told me you loved me.” the girl whimpers, tears welling along her waterline.

“i figured that’s what you wanted me to say.” he hums, his voice void of all emotion as he stares ahead, trying not to give into the voice in the back of his mind telling, screaming at him, to take it all back, to tell her the truth.

“so you don’t actually love me?”

“not in the way you want me to.”

“fuck you matt, i gave myself to you, and this is what you do?”

“i’m sorry.”

“at least look at me while you rip my heart out.”

and from that night onward, the two haven’t shared much more than two words. after the triplets moved to los angeles, they lost contact with the girl for a while but nick refused to let up and soon brought her back into their lives after he found out that she had moved to a deeper part of los angeles for the social marketing courses she was studying.

matt, at first, despised nick for bringing her back into his life. he felt like he had finally gotten rid of every touch she left in his life, like he had finally taken a breath that wasn’t full of her for the first time in his life. just for her to resurface.

they had been so consumed by their feelings, which y/n felt was the worst part of it all. she believed love was never meant to be all consuming. and her love for matt, consumed every part of her and when he accepted that love without giving it back, it spit out someone she didn't want to know.

but she learned to love the version of herself that didn't know matt, that didn't want to know matt. but here she was, unfortunately thrusted back into his life and being forced to be someone that knows him again.

the two found endlessly for the first little while, constantly bickering over things that held no genuinely purpose to them, they fought for the sake of fighting. of hearing each other's voices. but when matt found y/n standing on their front step, drenched from the rain and biting back tears, his heart clenched and he softened up around the edges, letting the very clearly distraught girl into his house without hesitation.

he soon learned that the guy she was seeing had only used her as a rung on his ladder in his social climb due to her relationship with the triplets, and on top of that, the internship that she worked hard for that she had landed at one of the top social media networks, had fired her without so many as a good reason.

that night, they rekindled their friendship. they began to lean on each other again, finding solace in each other’s arms. but y/n was apprehensive of getting close again, she couldn’t go through being heartbroken by him again. but he reassured her that he was there and he wasn’t leaving again.

PRESENT TIME

y/n laughed as her and the triplets made their way down the busted sidewalk that led toward nate’s house, the four them of had flown back to boston for a couple weeks due to being overworked and homesick, and what better way to celebrate being home? a party in their childhood friend’s garage. the cold february air nipped at y/n’s hands and cheeks as she struggled to keep warm, and matt took notice of this, falling behind the group to hold her and keep her warm. once she felt like she was warm enough to keep walking without shivering, the two made their way up nate’s driveway, and were welcomed with the smell of beer, weed, and stale cigars.

as the party went on, more people arrived, some y/n knew well, and some she was only acquainted with. there were a few girls from shared high school classes present, and y/n spent most of her time catching up with them, sitting matt or playing beer pong with nate, but there was one blonde girl in particular that kept eyeing y/n. the nasty look on her face made it evident that she didn’t like how close y/n and matt were.

y/n knew the girl from high school, she was friends with matt’s ex fling nicole, and had always seemed to have a strong disliking for the girl so close to matt. but y/n brushed it off, figuring it was just jealousy because y/n stayed close with the triplets and she didn’t. but y/n was proven wrong when matt went to the bathroom and the blonde girl approached her.

“why are you so close to matt? it’s like you’re practically sitting in his lap.” the girl, that y/n remembered was named alara spat.

“what does it matter to you?”

“seeing as he’s my boyfriend, i’d rather not have a random girl hanging off him.”

“since when have you and matt been dating?”

“about a month, we hooked up the last time he was home and now we’re keeping it lowkey.”

“matt’s never even mentioned you.”

“well now you know to stay away from him, m’kay?” the girl laughs, before walking away, leaving y/n angry and upset as she stares at the beer she just opened. y/n scoffs and goes to throw her beer away as matt reentered the garage, immediately noticing her furrows brows.

“you okay?” matt hums, reaching out to brush the hair from her face as she steps back.

“don’t fucking touch me. i cant believe you.” she spits, leaving matt dumbfounded as he watches her walk over to nate, the two of them sharing a quick hug before she exits the garage.

matt’s eyes dart around the room, meeting alara’s pleased smirk as matt storms his way over to the blonde girl, gripping her bicep as he drags her to the corner of the garage.

“what the fuck did you say to y/n?”

“i told her the truth.” alara laughs, watching as matt’s expression grows angrier.

“please enlighten on what you believe is the truth? because the last i remember, you’re just some girl i fucked six months ago and then blocked when you went psychotic.”

“i told her we’re dating.”

“jesus christ alara, i just got her back into my life and you come in and fuck everything up.”

“well now you can be with me, matty.”

“no. you’re always going to be the random hookup that i regret and wish never happened. stay the fuck away from me.” matt seethes, dropping the girl’s arm and quickly leaving the garage, hoping to catch up to y/n. as he runs down the sidewalk, he spots her a couple feet ahead and he picks up his pace until he’s right behind her.

“y/n wait.”

“save it matt. i don’t want to hear whatever excuse for breaking my heart, again, that you’ve got ready.”

“it’s not an excuse. i’m not with her. she’s some chick i fooled around with six months ago, before you and i fixed things.”

“i don’t care matt, you and i aren’t together!” the girl yells, turning around to face as tears slide down her rosy, cold cheeks, prompting matt to delicately take her face in his hands as he wipes the tears. y/n’s eyes squeeze shut as she tries to find the willpower to pull away from his touch, but his hands are warm and she misses his hands on her and it’s harder to pull away with every passing second.

“i know we’re not together, but i want us to be. i fucked up the first time we had something because i listened to the fear in my head. since the night you showed up crying in the rain, five months ago, there hasn’t been another girl in my life. you are the only person i love, and want to love. i am completely covered in you. i am consumed by you. so please listen to me when i say there is nobody else, and there never will be.”

“matt, i’m scared. you made me let you in again, you made me love you again, and there is this fear in my heart that you’re going to push me away again. that you are going to tell me you love and not mean it again, that you are going to keep breaking me over and over again.”

“i know baby, but i don’t want to let you go again, i fucked up, and i don’t ever want to fuck uo with you again. so if you’ll let me, i will prove to you that i’m here for good. if you let me be your boyfriend, i will promise to never break your heart again. please just give me one more chance to love you right.”

“okay.” y/n whispers, her guard growing thin as matt whispers promises against her lips, and that fear is still there and alive, but how can she say no when he looks so pretty staring at her with frozen cheeks and tears threatening to fall? so, she gives in, pressing her lips to his to seal the proclamations and promises he makes, hoping that there will be some truth to them.

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thefallennightmare · 6 months

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Let Me Be Yours-Noah Sebastian.

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: abusive/cheating ex, swearing, angst, fluff, smut.

Summary: Reader was in an abusive relationship, and she ended up pushing away the one guy who never did her wrong. Noah refused to let her feel as if she wasn't worthy of love; especially when he had so much to give her.

Authors Note: This was requested by @themodern-daywednesday! I really hope you like it. Since there are talks of abusive exes, please read with caution. I used my own experience with my own abusive ex-boyfriend as a way to express myself. Oh, the reader's nickname is Angel in this as well but no correlation to Miracle!

Also, this is during long hair Noah era because he will always be my favorite.

The music vibrated through the house as I leaned against the living room wall, staring down into the red solo cup in my hand. At one point there was cold beer in it but now, it was more like room temp and untouched. When Jolly poured me the beer over an hour ago, it sounded good, though now I'd much rather toss it into the sink and crawl upstairs to my room; well, the guest room.

I pushed my way through the crowd of people that filled the house for this little party and threw the cup into the garbage. Hugging my hoodie closer to my chest, I went to maneuver my way past a couple that was making out against the fridge but halted when I noticed the long brown hair pulled back into a low bun. It could have been anyone, but I knew that hair, I also knew the snake tattoo that coiled around the guy's neck.

"No," I muttered while backing up into the kitchen island, accidentally knocking over the array of alcohol.

The sound of glasses falling gained the attention of those close by and when he finally pulled away from attacking the girl's lips, my tired eyes met with his cold blue ones and I shuddered.

"Y/N?"

"Jared, wh-wha-what are you doing here?" The words stumbled over my tongue.

Who the hell invited my ex to the party?

Jared shrugged. "I heard through the grapevine that this was happening so I figured I'd stop by."

Even with the ice-cold fear filling my veins and harsh memories of us creeping back into my mind, I stood tall against him. I refused to let him know how seeing him again was affecting me.

With my arms over my chest, I raised a brow. "You know this is Jolly's and Noah's house, right?"

At the mention of the latter, Jared's jaw ticked as he stalked away from the girl he was making out with moments ago and over towards me.

"That would explain why you're here," his voice was filled with hate.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm staying with them since I let you have the apartment, even though you were the unfaithful one."

My ex-boyfriend, scratch that; asshole, dickhead, piece of shit ex-boyfriend stood there in front of me with that stupid, smug smile. I hated that smile. And him.

I wasted a year of my life with this guy and the entire relationship; he made me feel unworthy and was only good for one thing; sex. I never gave it to him but that never stopped him from trying. And when I continued to deny him, Jared found other girls to beg for a quick fuck.

He wasn't only a cheating prick, but he also was an abusive piece of shit; more mentally and emotionally than physically. The way he manipulated me into thinking that I needed him in order to survive or sometimes even pulled the typical 'if you leave, I'll kill myself' bullshit. Jared made me believe I wasn't pretty enough and forced me to wear baggy shirts or sweaters and pants. I could never dress up because he would claim I was dressing up for someone else. I never did my hair or makeup for these reasons as well. I began pushing all of my friends away because it made me believe that all I needed was Jared.

The mental and emotional abuse was the worst, but that didn't mean he never raised a hand to me. One time, in front of my group of friends, Jared thought it would be hilarious to choke me out to see how long I could last. Another time, I was talking to him about how I was depressed and afraid of doing something to myself.

His response?

Jared said I was too much of a pussy to do anything and to prove that, he took a mechanical pencil and dug it into my wrist leaving half an inch of a scar.

Maybe that's why Noah hates him so much.

At the thought of my best friend, I quickly scanned the packed house wondering if he noticed Jared was here.

"Looking for lover boy? Think he'll save you again?"

I snapped my eyes over to Jared and almost spat in his face. "Fuck you, Jared! You need to leave."

"What are you going to do, Y/N?" he stepped closer to me with a raised brow. "Noah isn't here to protect you from me. Did you scare him off yet? It's only a matter of time until he realizes what a pain in the ass you are. I mean, if you never put out for me, why would you for him? You're a virgin, Y/N. Girls are always throwing themselves at him and why would he waste his time with someone as inexperienced as you?"

"Screw you!" I stepped up in his face. "Noah is nothing like you; he would never do the things to me you did. He actually cares."

Jared raised a hand to brush over his jaw but out of instinct, I reeled back and prepared for the hit to come, though it never did. All I heard over the music was his dark laughter.

"You're pathetic. You couldn't even dress up for a party?" Jared motioned to my sweater and leggings. "What the fuck did I ever see in you?"

With his hand linked with the girl from earlier, who was too drunk to realize what was going on, Jared threw his shoulder into me as he walked past. I stumbled over my feet but could save myself from falling. Tears burned in the corners of my eyes and I decided I was over this party. The bed upstairs sounded way better than being anywhere Jared might be.

"No," I told myself, worrying Jared might have been right. "Noah would never do that to you. He's the one that offered you a place to stay."

When I found Jared cheating on me yet again, I couldn't take the pain anymore so I packed a few bags and showed up on Noah's doorstep: seeing him for the first time in three months.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," I cried, tears slipping from my eyes.

Noah sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder to pull me inside, letting the door close behind us.

That was two days ago and after telling me I could stay in the guest room for as long as I needed, I took that literally and held up in the guest room for the last two days. Noah tried texting me when I was with Jared but I never responded. Another thing Jared didn't like, me talking to my best friends. The fact that Noah and Jolly were still willing to let me stay with them showed how big their hearts were.

Speaking of hearts, mine throbbed in the cage in my chest as I thought about how Noah looked when I showed up the other day. His long hair was pulled back messily with a claw clip and his gold round glasses perched on his nose looking absolutely breathtaking. I always was attracted to Noah but never acted on it because he never felt the same way. We'd been good friends for so long, we didn't want to risk loosing that because of feelings.

Noah never said that, but I always assumed that because he gave no indication that he felt something more than just friends with me.

"Hey, you alright?"

A soft voice pulled me from my thoughts and I noticed Nick Ruflio leaning against the wall beside me. His eyes were filled with concern as he looked me over.

Noah wasn't the only one that knew about Jared and our toxic relationship; the rest of the guys did as well. We all were incredibly close for years while they knew certain things Jared had done to me, Noah was the only one that knows how bad my mind was fucked up.

The first night here, I stayed up with Noah and told him everything. To say he was furious was an understatement. I had to talk him down multiple times for finding Jared and kicking his ass.

Hearing my name called, I shook out the thoughts and gave my best fake smile to Nick.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured him.

"Really? Because Folio said he saw Jared out back," Nick said.

I cursed while running my sweaty palms against my thighs. "Did Noah see him?"

"No," Nick shook his head. "But it's only a matter of time. Folio is trying to get Jared to leave."

"Fuck you! Piece of shit!"

Oh no, I know that voice. I dream of that ethereal voice.

Nick and I both pushed past the now-growing group of people that gathered outside in the backyard. The party was long forgotten, and guilt ate away at me knowing it was my fault. This party was a going away party for Bad Omens because they leave for tour tomorrow. At first, I was nervous that I would have to leave and find somewhere else to stay but both Jolly and Noah reassured me I could stay here while they were gone.

There was a loud sound of skin hitting skin and what I saw made me halt in my footsteps. Folio had a hand on Noah's chest to keep him back from Jared, who was sporting a bloody lip.

Well, it was safe to say Noah knew Jared was here.

"That's all you got, lover boy? I've hit Y/N harder than that," Jared spit.

Noah pushed passed Folio to grab Jared by the collar of his shirt and lay a fist into his jaw, this time knocking him to the ground. I was still in my frozen state watching this all play out while both Nicks were holding Noah back and Jolly stepped in front of me when Jared glared up at me.

He spit into the grass before pointing at me. "You're wasting your time with her, Noah. She doesn't put out; bitch is still a virgin. Why do you think I cheated on her?"

Noah stiffened before his gaze finally landed on me, realizing for the first time I was watching.

Okay, maybe I didn't tell Noah everything about my relationship with Jared. I hid the fact that I was a virgin from him, something that seemed to shock him because Noah's lips were parted slightly. Now I knew any chance with him was nonexistent because of his one rule: He doesn't do virgins.

"It has nothing to do with them not knowing what to do. It's from personal experience. They might get too attached and I'm not looking for a relationship like that." His words echoed in my brain.

I cast my gaze down at my feet with the attention of everyone on me and tears burned at the corners of my eyes before they fell. Seeing me cry made Noah clench his fists and was fast on Jared, pinning him down to lay fist after fist into his face. The sound made me cringe as I tried to look away but couldn't. The muscles in Noah's back tensed as he laid a bone breaking punch to Jareds nose.

Finding this to be so attractive and hot is wrong but the way my pussy clenched, I knew I enjoyed being wrong.

People were whispering under their breath wondering if Noah was going to stop and fearing the worst, I stepped out from behind Jolly and over to Noah. There was blood from Jared splattered over the front of his sweater and the sight of Jared's mangled nose and mouth made me almost puke but I kept my eyes straight on Noah.

His name fell from my lips as I laid my hand on his shoulder. When he felt my gentle touch, Noah's body shook as he let out a breath.

"Come on," I urged him off of Jared. "He's not worth it."

Noah's eyes bounced from me to Jared before he rose off of him, giving him one last kick to his gut for the final blow.

"If you come near her again; if you even think of her again, I'll break every single one of your fingers," Noah threatened.

"Alright, I think the party is over," Jolly's voice carried as he dismissed the party goers.

As they slowly dissipated from the yard and house, I laid a hand on Noah's chest and felt the erratic pace of his heart. I then grabbed his hand and hissed when I saw the cuts and blood across his knuckles.

"I'm fine," Noah said while trying to pull his hand away.

But I gripped it tighter. "Let's get you cleaned up."

With a sigh, Noah agreed and as we walked back into the house, Jared's voice called after me.

"You'll come crawling back to me, bitch. You're nothing without me!"

Noah turned to lunge back at him but I was faster as I stalked back to Jared's crumpled body on the grass. Without a second thought, I pulled my foot back before sending it right into his face. I was only wearing socks so the hit of bone on bone made me gasp out in pain as I hobbled on my good foot.

"I'd say go to hell, but it looks like you're already there," I spat, motioning to the constant wounds that covered his face.

I tried to turn on my heels but the action made me fall to my knees and clutch my foot. But before I could hit the ground, Noah scooped me up into his arms and carried me inside.

"Noah," I protested.

He ignored me and walked through the now empty house and up the stairs. He passed the guest room and headed straight to his, kicking the door shut behind us.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he set me on the bed.

Instantly, I felt out of place. I've been to his house many times but never in his bedroom. I've seen what it looked like while he streamed but now actually seeing it with my own eyes, made me feel as if I was intruding in his personal space.

With be on the edge of the bed, Noah pulled over his computer chair and sat down while grabbing my injured foot. He carefully removed the sock and looked at the bruising skin.

"It's not that bad," I said.

He peered up at me through his lashes. "You could have broken your foot, angel."

My heart hammered in my chest at the nickname. Noah's called me that a few times throughout the years and every single time, it made my skin tingle. There was a soft knock at his door and we both saw Jolly peer his head in while holding an ice pack.

"Thought you might need this," he tossed it to Noah.

I smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you."

As the door closed again, I winced in pain when Noah pressed the ice pack to the top of my foot. Neither of us said anything for the next while, letting the silence fill the air, until the guilt for ruining the party ate away at me.

"I'm sorry about the party," I apologized quietly.

Noah let the ice pack fall to the floor as he leaned back in his chair with raised brows.

"Why the fuck are you apologizing?"

I shrugged while playing with my fingers in my lap. "I should have made him leave the first time I saw him tonight."

Now he tensed as his elbows rested on his knees. "When did you see him? What did he say to you?"

"Nothing, it's not important, Noah. Can we forget this even happened?" I begged.

The last thing I wanted was to repeat those hurtful things Jared spewed to me, especially to Noah. He was already angry, who's to say he won't find Jared and beat his ass. Again.

"Angel," Noah warned.

"Fine," I groaned. "I ran into him in the kitchen earlier tonight and he said the same shit he usually did. How I was pathetic and wondered what he ever saw in me. He also said that I'll push you away eventually because I'm-."

My voice broke off, not wanting to repeat those words. Although Noah already knew, I knew he would want me to say it.

"Because you what?" He pressed with a slight edge to his voice.

I knew it wasn't because of me but that did nothing to ease the slight fear in my gut. I had to keep reminding myself that Noah wasn't Jared. He wouldn't hurt me. But with everything Jared put me through, it fucked up my brain so that I couldn't tell the difference between someone that actually cared to one that only wanted to cause me pain.

I was so fucked up that I felt the need to lie to Noah about things because I was afraid of how he would react.

Jared was so controlling that I pushed all of my friends away, both the Nicks, Jolly, and Noah. And when I came crawling back after not listening to their warnings of Jared, they still took me in without a second thought.

I always knew, deep down, that I had strong feelings for Noah. I never said it out loud but as much as I tried to deny it, I knew that what I was feeling was that scary four letter word. But knowing that he didn't feel the same pushed me into the first man's arms that showed me a hint of attention.

"Angel," Noah's soft grip on my chin brought me out of my thoughts. "What else did he say to you?"

My bottom lip trembled as I let out a broken breath. Just this small gesture of kindness made my heart sore into my throat.

"He said that you won't waste your time with me because I'm a virgin. You have girls throwing themselves at you all the time, why would you waste your time with someone like me?"

My eyes squeezed shut for a moment to keep the tears away but when I opened them, Noah's gaze was burning deep into me, almost down to the core of my existence. I became nervous and tried to move his grasp from my face but it only made him grip my chin tighter.

"I'm going to kick his ass; again," He pushed himself away from me before rising to his feet.

"Noah," I reached for him but he moved too fast. "Just leave him alone, he's been through enough."

"Stop defending him!" he spun on his heels to point a finger at me.

I flinched at the sudden raise of his voice and Noah's face fell, guilt filling his eyes.

"Shit, I'm sorry angel," He ran a hand over his face. "I just hate hearing you defend him."

"I'm not," I stated with a shaky voice. "He's not worth it anymore, alright? I want to try to forget everything he put me through."

Noah eventually nodded and came back over to me except now he sat on the bed next to me. There was something radiating off of him and his fingers twitched in his lap. There'd been many times we were in closed proximity but something about right this moment made my palms sweat and belly burn with a rousing desire. I could smell his cologne as it engulfed my senses while his body heat wrapped around me like a safety net, letting me know Noah will do anything and everything to keep me safe.

"I should go-."

"Are you really a virgin?"

We both spoke at the same time but hearing his question made my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"I'm humiliated enough with it being brought up in front of everyone tonight, please don't get me shit for it," I grumbled while crossing my arms over my chest.

Noah shook his head, his knee brushing against mine. A shot of electricity shot through me and I yearned to feel more of his touch.

"I'm not," there was something in his tone of voice that made me read the soft features of his face.

"It doesn't matter. It's not like a guy would find me attractive enough to want to sleep with me. I'm nothing special," I shrugged.

A muscle in Noah's jaw ticked. "Stop talking like that."

"It's true, Noah. No one wants a girl as damaged as me, especially a virgin," I stood slowly to my feet, not wanting too much pressure my bad foot. "I'm going to go."

As I tentatively walked past Noah, his hand gripped my wrist and pulled me into his lap, both of my knees landing on either side of him. His large hands gripped my hips to keep me in place as I fought against him, all while my heart was thundering in my chest. We were so close now, that I could feel his warm breath fan over my lips.

"That's bullshit," he spoke.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You said it yourself, Noah. You don't do virgins. What makes any other guy different?"

One hand left my hip to cup my cheek. "You're different."

"Right," I scoffed. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

Noah's eyes searched mine deeply, a slight frown pulling at his lips.

"He really fucked you up, huh?"

With both of my hands on his chest, I pushed him away. "I'm not worth it."

A squeal erupted from my throat when I felt myself being tossed onto the bed, Noah towering over me. Strands of his long hair cascaded around my face and without thinking, I brushed it back while running my nails along his scalp. Noah made a noise in the back of his throat when his eyes fluttered shut.

"You're worth everything, angel," he buried his face into the crook of my neck. "I'd get on my knees for you."

My breath caught in my throat at his words. Surely he didn't mean that. We never talked like this with each other.

"I have a lot of regrets," Noah now brushed his nose over mine. "One of them being not telling you how I felt earlier."

I gulped as my heart pounded loudly in my ears. No, he didn't mean what I thought he did. There was no way he felt the same.

"Noah," I breathed. "What are you saying?"

My fingers were still tangled in his hair as our eyes locked with each other.

"Let me prove to you that you're worth it, angel." His eyes sparkled as he almost begged me.

"Won't this-what about-," my words stammered over my tongue.

I was beyond nervous for what he was asking and I was afraid of what the outcome would be afterwards.

Noah's lips brushed along my jawline. "Let me be yours. I'll worship you and make you feel wanted and loved. Would you let me do that for you?"

Oh. Shit.

Every single part of me buzzed with so many emotions; shock, excitement, anticipation for what this meant, and the one that outweighed all of them was want.

I drank in the entire sight of Noah as he leaned over me. His hips hovered over mine while his lips continued to lightly brush across the skin of my jaw all the way down my neck. The small amount of facial hair that covered his face tickled with every brush and his long hair that fell out from the clip he used to keep it away from his face felt like silk against my fingers. Noah took off his sweater when we first came up to his room and now the colors of his various tattoos on his arms stood out in stark contrast to his white shirt.

"Yes," I finally said.

Quickly, his lips were on mine in a fiery, starving kiss and I moaned into it, never in my life experienced this amount of desire from someone. Noah wanted me, fucked up brain and all. His tongue molded with mine and our teeth smacked together, trying to devour every inch of my mouth.

When his hips pressed hard against mine, I broke apart the kiss to lean my head deeper into the mattress below. It felt so good when the outline of his cock brushed against my heated core, and I wanted needed more.

"Noah, please," I begged while raising my hips up into him.

"What do you want, angel?"

His mouth bit and sucked at the spot of skin beneath my ear, and I shuddered underneath him.

"Anything. I just need to feel something good," I admitted.

Noah leaned back onto his knees and motioned to my sweater. "Take it off."

I hesitated because I was only wearing a bra underneath and the thought of him seeing it made me suddenly nervous. He noticed because he leaned down to leave a tender kiss on my lips.

"Trust me. I've been wanting to see you like this for a long time. Take it off, angel."

With a nod, I sat up off of the bed and shed my sweater and to the ground. Noah's eyes darkened as he drank in the sight of my black lace bra and he licked his lips as he reached behind me to unclip it. It fell away from me onto the bed and immediately, his hands cupped my left breast, fingers pinching my nipples.

"Shit," I gasped, the feeling shooting straight down to my core.

"So perfect," Noah murmured while his free hand slid down my stomach to brush across the waistband of my leggings.

Without even asking, I raised my hips off the bed to help his slide them off of me. Now I lay in front of him in only a black thong and could faintly make out the outline of his cock in his jeans. Noah's eyes darted from my body up to my face, eyes holding mine steady.

"How far do you want to go?"

My mouth ran dry realizing what he meant. If we went through with this, Noah would be my first. And knowing how he felt about virgins gave me pause. He reassured me I was different but what would that mean for our friendship?

"Would this make things weird between us?" I asked biting my lip.

Noah groaned at the sight and left a kiss right where my lip was caught between my teeth.

"I thought I told you I'm yours, angel. I've wanted you for so long and now that I have you, I'm not letting you go."

For the hundredth time that night, my heart warmed at his words so I gave him his answer in a heated kiss and took off my panties myself.

"I'm yours, Noah." I repeated his words back to him.

Seeing me naked in front of him lit a fire under his ass because he scrambled off the bed and took off his shirt then pants and briefs in one go. I stared hungrily at the way his thick cock sprung free and slapped against the inside of his thigh.

Fuck, he looked absolutely gorgeous with his tattoos.

"I'm going to work you up before, alright? Spread your legs for me."

I did what he said, and when he saw the wetness between my legs, Noah groaned. "Just a taste."

Although, I never had sex I did fool around with Jared; oral and hand stuff. But nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to Noah and the way his tongue licked up my dripping arousal before rubbing small circles over my clit.

"Shit," I panted. "So good."

A finger slid over my entrance, up and down, before slipping inside of me. Noah worked his fingers in a slow rhythm while his tongue worked fast. Then another finger slipped inside and now, his fingers and tongue matched in pace as he brought me closer to the brink. My orgasm was cresting higher to its crescendo and my moans of pleasure echoed through the small room as my nails dug deep into the blanket. I arched off the bed while my knees shook, the wave of pleasure about to yank me in to drown me.

"Cum for me, angel. I want to taste every part of you," Noah breathed against my clit as his fingers speared inside of me.

His name rolled off of my lips in an earth shattering whine, the power behind this orgasm like nothing I've ever experienced.

"Good girl," he mused as he crawled up closer to my face.

I felt heat rush from my heart straight to my pussy at hearing his praise and nearly lost it when his lips met mine, forcing his tongue in my mouth so I could taste myself on him. My nails dug into the skin of his back to pull him closer to me. He had his cock held steady at my slick entrance and my mouth salivated seeing the pre-cum at the slit.

"Are you on anything or should I grab a condom?"

I nodded. "I'm on the pill. Even though I've never had sex, I still wanted to be safe."

"Okay, let me know if you want me to stop," Noah said.

When I nodded again, Noah slowly sunk the head past my lips and I tensed immediately which made him pull back when he was less than halfway in.

"Don't tense, just breathe with me."

Noah let out a deep breath along with me as he pressed deeper inside of me and I screwed my eyes shut when he met some resistance.

"Eyes on me, angel," he demanded with his hand wrapped around my throat.

Oh shit.

Noah's eyes were black now, filled with lust as he finally pushed past that resistance and sunk completely into me.

"Fuck, you're so tight." Noah leaned his forehead against mine.

His pace was slow, almost as if he was holding back, and while it hurt at first, now the pain subsided and all I felt was pure euphoric bliss when he slid his cock all the way out before pressing deep back inside.

"Oh, god," I raised my hips up to meet every one of his thrusts. "Faster, please."

Noah made a low noise in his chest as he lifted my leg over his hip so he could get a better angle and it made my eyes flutter shut when the head of his cock hit that perfect spot. His face bent low to my left nipple and ran his tongue over it in small circles before he did the same thing to the other one. My neck arched back, exposing the skin to him to beg for his tongue there. Noah obliged by biting down hard over the skin of my pulse point and I cried out his name.

"Say it again," he panted, his thrusts now going faster and deeper.

His name fell from my lips like a prayer with his of his thrusts and when the pad of his thumb stroked my clit, I spasmed against him. The familiar heat bubbled low in my belly and every cell inside ignited with that burning sensation that I desperately craved.

"I'm going to cum," I moaned.

"You look so beautiful taking my cock like this," Noah praised. "Such a good fucking girl. All mine; so fucking beautiful."

His sweet, affectionate words were exactly what I needed to grasp my orgasm. I came hard on his cock, my arousal coating every inch of him, and to keep my screams quiet I pressed kisses over the tattoos on his chest. Noah's fingers gripped me in a bruising grasp around my hips as his pace stilled for half a moment before he attacked my lips in a hungry kiss.

"Angel," Noah pressed deep inside me one last time, his cum filling my insides.

As we both came down from our shared highs, he pulled out of me and rolled onto his back while pulling me into his chest. I laid my head against it as he covered us with the blanket and left a tender kiss on my forehead.

"Are you alright?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, a bit sore but I'm okay," I laid my chin on his chest so I can look into his eyes. "Thank you, Noah."

He pursed his lips. "For what?"

"Everything. From earlier at the party to what we did. You made me feel wanted for the first time in a long time. I know you had that rule of 'no virgins'-."

"Hey," he cut me off. "I told you, you were different. I have every intention of making this a serious thing, angel."

We shared another kiss and when I pulled away, Noah cupped my cheek so I had no choice but to look in his eyes.

"If you let me, I'd spend the next handful of years making you realize your worth."

For once, the smile that spread across my face was genuine and bright, feeling the love course through me. "There's no way I'm letting you go, Noah."

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian bad omens #bad omens #noah sebastian fanfiction

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lostgirl677 · 6 months

Text

Home alone

One-shot

Winchester Brothers x Little sister! Reader

Masterlist

Request : Heyy, how are you doing? I was wondering if I could request for supernatural:3Maybe something where reader is Sam and Dean's little sister (13/14) and it's set on the first episode maybe.So, basically Sam leaves her home alone because he's going hunting with Dean, she finds out just in the morning because he hasn't left a note or anything and she starts to panic, but then she calls them and they calm her down?It's ok if you can't or don't take requests, I Hope you have a wonderful day! Remember to take care of yourself:3

A/N: Sorry it took a long time. I really do hope you'll like it. Maybe it won't be exactly how you expected it.

My eyes slowly opened as the birds sang softly near my window. I began to wipe the fatigue from my eyes as I sat up in bed. I had the weirdest dream last night. One where Dean entered the flat by a window and took Sam with him to find dad. It surely meant that I missed my dad and my brother after four years without seeing them. And Sam barely mentioning them nowadays didn’t help. As the drowsiness of sleep faded, I became aware of my surroundings and noticed that the apartment was eerily quiet this morning. This silence could only indicate two things: either it was very early, or I slept in. By the window, I could see that the sun was already up. I then decided to check my alarm to finally know what time it was. It was 8 AM. At least, I didn’t oversleep. Stretching my legs, I got up and made my way to the kitchen. Passing by the living room, I noticed that everything has been left untouched since yesterday. The coffee table was still covered in books and notebooks as well as various uncorked markers left haphazardly here and there. It was curious, since Sam was pretty much the tidy type, unlike Dean and I. I definitely won’t miss the opportunity to remind him that for once I was not the one leaving a mess behind.

But weirder, when I arrived in the kitchen I saw various cups and plates left on the table and the sink. Sam and Jess would never leave such a mess behind them. But they were probably still drunk from last night. “Sam? Jess?” I finally called. The silence was deafening. I thought for a second that maybe one of them was in the bathroom. So I came to the bathroom door and knocked softly. “Sam? Jess? Are you in there?” But again, complete silence was the only answer I got. There wasn’t even a water noise or the sound of someone brushing their teeth. There was only one room left, Sam and Jess’s. Maybe they were the ones oversleeping? I finally came to their room’s door. As I approached, I immediately noticed the absence of snoring noise. I then knocked on the door. I was once again met with utter silence. Frustration was slowly building in me. So I slowly opened the door and said “I’m coming inside! If I catch you doing something unsuitable for my innocent eyes, I won't be the most embarrassed!”. But, once the door was opened, I only saw a neatly made bed and an empty room.

I let out a rather loud sigh as I closed the door behind me. Maybe they went to the grocery store, or the library? I refuse to think about anything worse. But they would never leave me without at least a little note somewhere. So, I made my way back to the kitchen to check the fridge to see if they left me a note. But there wasn’t anything in the fridge door or anywhere else. My heartbeat increased with each passing second. Panic was overtaking me and the worst case scenarios ran in my mind. What if something happened to them? What if our old ‘lifestyle’ finally caught up to us? Anxiety was slowly overwhelming me. But I tried to reassure myself and immediately thought about the table next to the door. I practically ran like a maniac toward it, in hope of finding something. But my hopes were crushed when I didn’t find a single note on the little notepad.

My last option was the phone. Thankfully, the little red light was flickering, indicating that someone had left a message. I pushed the button and silently prayed. But when I played the voicemail, I noticed that there wasn’t any message coming from Sam or Jess. I tried to call Jess and Sam right away. But I managed to get voicemail for both of them. “Sam, please! At least tell me you’re okay. I’m anxious. Please call me back soon!” I was really having trouble breathing. I let myself slide down the wall behind me and ended up sitting on the cold wooden floor. The flood of scary thoughts came back to torment me.

I always knew what lurked in the dark. Dad had made sure of it since I was little. Hell, he practically handed me a dagger when I told him I was afraid of monsters under my bed. Thankfully, Dean and Sam always made me feel safe. Even if I was only their half-sister, Dean and Sam were always there with me and never ostracized me for not having the same mother. If anything happened to them, I didn’t know what I would do. When Sam left for Stanford, he took me with him, leaving Dean and dad behind. They were always on my mind and I missed them everyday, especially Dean. He raised me more than dad ever did. I often had nightmares where something bad happened to them. What if it already happened and Sam was the next to die? What if…? My fear overwhelmed me and clouded my mind with the most horrific visions of my family’s corpses.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the phone ringing. Without even thinking, I jumped and threw myself on the phone. “Y/N?” His voice made my heart jump. “Sam?! Where are you? Are you okay? Where’s Jess?” I blurted out in haste, almost out of breath. “Easy, Y/N. Everything’s okay. Jess is at the library. She probably forgot to tell you, sorry. She’ll come back soon. I’m…” There was another male voice interrupting him. I recognized it right away. “Dean?! Oh my god, Dean! I’m so glad to hear your voice. I missed you so much.” I practically screamed on the phone. I heard a bit of bickering when Dean took the phone.”Happy to hear your voice too, sis. I miss you too.” I could hear the smile in his voice. I never felt more relieved in my life. But suddenly, I realized that if these two were together, it meant that something bad happened. “What happened?”, I asked anxiously. There was a bit of silence before Dean replied “Well, dad didn’t come back from one of his hunts. So I came to your apartment last night to get Sam’s ass in the car and try to find dad.” So, I heard them last night. I thought that it was a dream.

“But, why didn’t you take me with you?” I asked and I knew that hurt was evident in my voice when I heard him sigh. “Listen Y/N, we didn’t want you involved in this. You finally have a normal life and we couldn't take it away from you just like that. It’s just another hunt involving what we think is a kind of ghost. It’s basically milk run for us. Soon, I’ll drive Sam back and you’ll keep living your life as if nothing happened.” “A normal life?! Are you kidding? I still sleep with a dagger under my pillow, just in case.” I heard Dean taking a deep breath. He was probably looking for a witty comeback , as always. But before he could answer, I heard Sam. “Y/N, we’re really sorry. But we didn’t know whether it was dangerous or not. We can’t risk losing our baby sis. Dean and I are going to be careful and I promise we’ll be back soon.” “We? Dean will join us?” I asked, hopeful. There was a bit of silence before I heard Dean reply “Well, we’ll see kiddo. It’s up to Sammy.” I heard Sam protesting at the nickname. “I just want to have my brothers with me.” I said, my voice cracking a bit. “I know, sweetheart.”, said Dean in a breath. “It’s a matter of days, I promise. We’ll find that bitch’s corpse, salt and burn it. We’ll be with you in no time.” He said in a reassuring tone. I smiled a little, but it didn’t reach my eyes. “What about dad?” I finally asked. “He can’t be that far. Don’t worry.”, said Sam. “Also, I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note. I didn't have the time.”, he added. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Just promise me you’ll both be careful and come back safe.” “We promise.”, they said in unison. “And please, update me whenever you can. I love you, goofs.” I heard them laugh. “Okay. We love you too, sis. See you soon.”, said Dean. And they hung up the phone.

I fell back on the floor, half relieved and half anxious. Trouble was definitely on the way, but at least, they were okay. I just had to wait for their next call. A sudden noise made me jump. To my relief, it was Jess. “Hey, Y/N! Sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to the library. But I figured that you would forgive me if I came back with your favorite pie.”, she said while shaking a bag. I got up and hugged her. She hugged me back while laughing a little “Wow. I know you love pie but not at this point.” She didn't know how happy I was to see her.

Timeskip

Fire, fire everywhere. Jess was on the ceiling, burning and bleeding. I couldn’t do anything to help her. Dean had to grab both Sam and I before fire could attain us. Her face, her cries for help, it was replaying in my mind endlessly. I would never be able to forget it.

Dean sat me on the curb, in the midst of the chaos around us. “Y/N, are you okay?”, he asked with a concerned voice. I vaguely nodded my head, still in shock. I couldn't even cry. I threw a glance at Sam. He was devastated. He was crying hard while clinging to me as if he was afraid I would disappear. They finally both took me in their arms. I missed that. But it was sad to have to wait for such a tragedy to finally have my brothers with me. After a moment, Dean sighed and said “ I guess you’ll have to come with us, now.” And in no time, I was on the backseat of the Impala while Dean was driving to our next destination.

@hobby27 @deans-spinster-witch

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mistywaves98 · 1 year

Text

✧･ﾟ:* ->Bully! Xiao x Fem! Reader

✧･ﾟ:* ->¡Warnings!: Modern AU, Non con, dark themes, slight yandere, Dacryphilia, Edging turned to Overstimulation, Repitition of words, Dumbification, Forced stuff, Non consensual groping, Fingering, Degradation, I think that's it!

✧･ﾟ:* -> Week 3 of my 400 special! I tried to write some detailed descriptions but I don't think they came out well...hope you enjoy anyway!

✧･ﾟ:* Minor writing smut! DNI if uncomfy!

✧･ﾟ:* Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

He didn't really know why he disliked you so much. Was it because you were at the top of the class? Hmph, teacher's pet. Maybe it was because you had friends, but he was probably the only person in the school that didn't have any. Or perhaps it was the way you were so fucking perfect. Too perfect, everytime he looked at you he wanted to ruin you, to wipe that blinding smile of your face, to rip those expensive outfits you wore, to destroy your reputation among your classmates. But at the same time, he wanted to get close to you, to get to know you and eventually have you under him, squirming in pleasure as his cock plunges in an out of you. Such thought makes his heart flutter but then the actual sight of you makes him want to throw up.

So what does he do? Why make your live a living hell of course! Roughly shoving you against lockers whenever he passed next to you, refusing to help or lend you anything to you in class or in general, always making snide comments whenever you did something clumsy or stupid. His favourite was tripping you up in the cafeteria in front of everyone, seeing the tears flow down your face in humiliation as you look up at him briefly before running out filled him with a sick sense of joy.

Soon you'd find none of your friends wanted to speak to you, in fact, none of your classmates, especially the guys, wanted anything to do with you. Because guess what, a certain someone was spreading rumors about you being nothing but a slut who only gets close to guys to have sex with them and nothing you said could change their minds. And that certain someone just happens to be the only one that 'cares' about your existence. 'Caring' meaning the bullying the life out of you even more, and what was worse was that now everyone laughed with him whenever he decided to humiliate you, which seemed to be happening a lot ever since you've become a loner.

And just when you thought life couldn't get any worser, your teacher told you you'd be staying in the same dorm as him. Upon hearing those words your face dropped and your head snapped in his direction only to be met with a smile that sent feelings of dread down your spine. It was as bad as you expected it to be. He made you do all the chores, saying that unless you wanted him to ruin your life even more than he already has you can go ahead and try to defy him.

But the weird thing was that Xiao seemed to get rather, touchy ever since you became roommates with him. Sure you had your own room and bed to sleep in, but he would always force you to sleep with him instead. You didn't like the idea at all but there was nothing you could do to free yourself from the two arms secured firmly around your stomach and the more you struggled the more bone- crushing it became. But that wasn't even the worst part. Often he would randomly latch on to you and literally feel you up like if you were lovers. He was so smug when he did it too, knowing that you knew that if you told anyone, you'd really be in for it. It happened a lot when you were cleaning the dorm as well. You'd be on all fours, scrubbing the floor before you feel two hands cage you in and something hard press against your ass. You've told him many times to stop but he'd never listen, saying that if you didn't want it, why the fuck were you so wet?

It was a lovely Saturday morning...key word, was. It probably still be one if you weren't pinned to the floor on your back with your bully on top of you, fingers plunging in and out of your pussy like there was no tomorrow. Sweat covered your body and dropped down your face, everything felt too hot. You felt the knot in your stomach tighten and you were just about to release when you felt the movement in your pussy stop. You whined pathetically, tears staining your face once more as you were denied yet another orgasm for what felt like the 5th time tonight.

A chuckle came from the male above you,"Aww, do you wanna cum? I thought you didn't want that? Now you do? Maybe if you beg hard enough or maybe if I feel like it I can give you what I want, but personally, I simply can't get enough of you when you're like this." "P-please...please let me cum, I-I promise I'll be good." "Hmm....since I feel like it I'll let you cum, but next time I won't be so nice."

And then the fingers were once again shoved into your pussy, sloppily moving in and out until you felt the build up of another orgasm. Your back arched as you finally achieved that sweet, sweet release that you were kept from. Your legs spasmed and your tongue lolled out of your mouth as your juices coated the carpet beneath you. You tried to move, only to be pulled back down by Xiao who had a frown on his face,"Don't think you can just take your pleasure and then leave selfish slut."

You felt dread pooling in the pit of your stomach as you felt him press the head of his cock that was already soaked with pre cum against your entrance. With no warning, he snapped his hips forward, bottoming out instantly. Two fingers were immediately forced into your mouth to somewhat muffle your scream of pain. "Hmph. I thought I prepared you enough, but you're still as tight as ever. If I didn't know better, I'd still think you were a virgin." A smirk graced his features and you knew why.

As soon as you admitted you hadn't had sex yet, Xiao pounced on you like a predator would do to its prey. Him being the first one to touch you like this was an opportunity he wasn't going to let slip by. He took so much delight in corrupting your inexperienced self and he didn't bother to hide it.

You were brought out of your reminiscing when he began to move. His thrusts were so fast and filled with so much force your body rocked back and forth. It wasn't long before you knew he was getting close to orgasming, you could tell from the way he slowed down a bit, but managed to hit somewhere deep inside of you. You whimpered as he bit into your neck hard, your hands flew to weakly grasp his sweaty hair as he sucked on the blood the trickled out of the wound.

When he was satisfied with the mark he made, he licked a long stripe from the hickey to right under your jaw. He pressed a few light kisses to the area, removing his fingers before connecting both of your lips in a hungry kiss. Teeth clacked against each other and his tongue dove into your mouth, exploring every inch of it.

Suddenly there was an explosion of warmth in your lower region and you realized he had finally came, but the determined look on his face told you that he wouldn't be stopping anytime soon.

And for what felt like hours, orgasm after orgasm was pulled from your abused cunt, you clawed at the floor mindlessly feeling your brain turn to mush everytime you came. Your face was downright laughable, to Xiao anyway. You looked so fucked out and he loved it. He loved the way your legs twitched and spasmed even when you weren't cumming, he loved how you couldn't even form a coherent sentence, he loved how broken and worn down you looked in front of him.

And in the end, no one would ever guess Xiao was doing such things, to you especially, not with the way he seemed to completely despise you when in public, if only they saw what went on behind closed doors...

#✧･ﾟ:* meena's memorable moments! ✧･ﾟ:*#smut #x reader smut #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader smut #xiao smut #xiao x reader smut #tw noncon

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celebrityxcrushes · 1 year

Text

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY

Pairing: Lo’ak x (metkayina) f!reader

Request: hellooo!! hear me out! how about you're really interested in lo'ak and neteyam is like kind of a wingman to you, but lo'ak thinks you're super into his older brother and gets all jealous

Word count: 1408

Part 2

"Then you take this piece and twist it around the-"

Tsireya's explanation was abruptly interrupted by the sound of your laugh. From where he and Tsireya were sitting, Lo'ak had a clear view of you and his brother as you played in the water.

Whilst Tsireya had been tasked by your father to teach him how to weave straw baskets, you were supposed to help Neteyam improve his swimming. But clearly the two of you found it more important to splash each other with water like two children.

It bothered him that his brother acted so different around you. To his knowledge Neteyam never cared much for any of the girls back in their clan. Instead he would much rather prefer to spend his time training or being with his family. But ever since his family was granted uturu by your father, Lo'ak had to watch Neteyam spend almost all his spare time with you.

Noticing that his mind was elsewhere, Tsireya urged him to focus on the task in front of him, but his fingers refused to cooperate as a pit grew in his stomach.

It wasn't fair. For the entirety of his life, Lo'ak had been second to his brother on everything. Everyone would always fawn over his brother - and why wouldn't they? He was the future Olo'eyktan. Responsible. Strong. Meanwhile Lo'ak was nothing but a disappointment and a troublemaker. When even his own parents preferred his brother over him - why would you be any different?

As he kept picturing you with his brother, Lo'ak failed to notice how his fists clenched tightly around his basket.

The worst part of it all was that, for a moment, he actually thought you liked him the same way he liked you. When his family first joined your clan, the two of you immediately clicked and started spending a lot of time together. You were kind and patient as you helped him and his siblings adapt to your lifestyle. And most importantly, you seemed to enjoy spending time with him, until his brother just had to steal you away-

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his half-finished basket giving into the pressure of his fists by breaking.

Seeing the shocked look on Tsireya's face, he muttered a small "Sorry" and dropped the pieces to the ground. As he once again heard your laugh, he decided that anywhere else in the village would be better to be than here, and so he stormed off - taking one last look at you as he left.

As if you could notice his intense stare, you turned your head upwards and locked eyes with him just as he stood up. You rarely saw Lo'ak without a smile or a small smirk, and so you were almost baffled to see him look almost angry as he watched you. Was he upset with you? Had something happened?

Ignoring the feeling that something was off, you lifted your arm and gave him a hesitant wave. However, disappointment filled your chest as he simply turned his back on you and walked off.

As he noticed that your attention had shifted, Neteyam followed your gaze that led him to where his little brother was walking. "Sooo," he dragged the word out teasingly, "when are you going to tell my skxawng brother that you like him?"

"What? I- I don't, I mean - How did you?"

Your first instinct was to try and deny his accusations, but the more rational part of you knew that your blushing face and stuttering voice allowed him to see right trough you.

With a short sigh in defeat, you jabbed your finger into his chest. "If you tell anyone about this, I will beat you up." As you sensed that he didn't seem to take you seriously, you continued. "I mean it, Neteyam, I will make you regret it. I swear this with our great mother as witness."

Neteyam remained completely unfazed by your threats, but allowed you a moment to rant before speaking again.

"I mean it, Y/N. You should tell him."

Seeing your hesitation made him grow slightly frustrated. He considered you his best friend and Lo'ak was his little brother. Nothing would make him happier than seeing the two of you happy, and he knew that you would make each other happy.

"He likes you too, you know?"

Although his words made your heartbeat speed up, you still weren't entirely convinced.

"How do you know? Has he said that?"

"Well," Neteyam lifted his arm and awkwardly scratched his own neck, "not exactly no, but I am his brother, I know him. He likes you, trust me."

To his defense, Lo'ak had never denied having feelings for you either. Neteyam found it kind of odd - he had tried to ask his brother about you several times, but it was as if Lo'ak refused to speak to him about you. Every time Neteyam brought you up, Lo'ak would huff or mutter something under his breath before walking away.

Before you could open your mouth to continue the conversation, you saw Tuk appear on the beach and heard her call out for her brother.

Neteyam lifted two fingers to give you a mock salute and gave you a pointed look - before leaving you alone to ponder on his words.

It took only a couple of hours from your talk with Neteyam until another of the Sully children decided to meddle in your love life.

You were sat cross-legged on the ground in the marui pod belonging to the Sully family. Kiri was standing behind you, her fingers making braids in your hair.

"Thanks for offering to do this, Kiri. You were right - this is nice".

On your way back from your swim lesson with Neteyam, you had ran into Kiri. She had then asked if you wanted her to braid your hair; claiming that she wanted to spend some time with you so that 'you could bond and get to know each other even better'. You had accepted, not knowing that what she really wanted - was to get you alone so that she could try and convince you to confess to Lo'ak.

"Oh, no worries! We have to make sure you look good for my brother, right?"

At that your eyes widened. You tried to turn your head to look at her, but her firm grip on your scalp made it difficult. While you felt the blood rush to your cheeks in embarrassment, Kiri continued working on the braids as if she hadn't said anything at all.

"He told you? Neteyam told you, didn't he?" You asked even though you knew the answer. "That little skxawng!"

Kiri ignored your little outburst, and asked again. "But it's true? You really like my brother?"

All you gave her was a defeated nod, but that settled it for her. She didn't need to talk to Lo'ak to know that he felt the same way - it was obvious. If you asked her, anyone with a pair of functioning eyes could tell that her brother was head over heels in love with you.

"Good," she eventually said and, despite not seeing her face, you could tell that she was smiling.

The two of you stayed silent for a few seconds after that as she finished the braid; humming a soft tune as she worked.

Just as you opened your mouth and got ready to swear her to secrecy, you were interrupted by the sound of her father's voice. It came from right outside the pod. And it was directed towards the worst person imaginable.

"Lo'ak, what are you doing standing around out here?"

No no no no. This could not be happening. Your eyes widened and your palms grew sweaty. You didn't know how long he had been standing outside the pod; but you could only pray to Eywa that he hadn't heard too much of your conversation.

Kiri's face was equally shocked, and it was obvious that she hadn't heard her brother either. She could tell that you were freaking out internally, and she felt sorry for you. Even though she, unlike you, was sure that the feelings were reciprocated - she understood that this was far from an ideal confession.

What neither of you knew however, was that Lo'ak completely misunderstood what he had just heard. In his ears you were confessing to having feelings for another. For his brother nonetheless.

And it broke him.

#lo’ak x reader #lo’ak fanfiction #lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan #lo’ak imagines #lo’ak sully #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #atwow #atwow imagines #avatar imagines #lo’ak sully imagines #atwow x reader

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idontplaytrack · 27 days

Text

good problem to have

Janis ‘Imi’ike x physically disabled fem!reader

Warnings: kind of a vent writing, descriptions of chronic health & physical conditions + symptoms. Light smut, fluff, Janis being soft for reader. This oneshot took a few turns at the end- I didn’t intend on ending it the way I did😂

The following depicts the worst side of reader’s experience with a physical disability and its chain of effects. Reader discretion is advised.

Janis looks at the clock on the wall as though she was having a staring contest with it. You’d been in the shower for nearly thirty minutes and the girl had half a mind to just walk in there to keep an eye on you instead. But she held back, she stays on the other side of the door as she hears the water running.

Half an hour ago, you angrily decided to sit in the shower - a warm, no- hot shower in hopes that the heat would alleviate the squeezing pain in your ribcage caused by your rather newly diagnosed condition of Costochondritis.

Janis was with you the night you ended up in the ER because of it. She watched everything went down and it shattered her heart seeing you so helpless. You didn’t exactly remember what happened because of the amount of pain that you were in- she tells you it was better that way since the doctor practically tried to gaslight you into giving you over-the-counter pain meds and sending you right back home. That was a month ago- and this, was technically flareup number one since that night. She fought for you, because you couldn’t. You actually couldn’t even take in a full breath, let alone open your mouth and form a coherent sentence. Janis’ Mom has been a big help throughout all of this as well, seeing that she even noticed something was wrong unlike your own who barely believed you. “Is she still in there?” Damian arrives at Janis’ with their favourite pizza. And both your homework for the day that you two’d missed

“Ya think?” Janis huffs.

“Is she…”

“She didn’t pass out. I knocked and she responded but she doesn’t want to let me in there.” Janis was just ever so slightly horrified by his assumption.

“Okay, good. Well, eat first.” He shrugs, unfazed by her glare.

As Janis refused to eat first, saying you weren’t back out yet, you opened the bathroom door and walked out. “Fuck this.” You remarked as you shut the door to the bathroom. “My back already hurts because my legs are not the same length, I have fucking scoliosis and now this added on to it? Does the universe want to torture me till I die or something?” Janis seemed unfazed on the outside, but inside she was actually so worried (she wouldn’t admit it to anyone). This never was a good sign, and the damage control needed to be fast. To top it all off, Damian’s never been around to witness such ‘episodes’.

Janis knew you didn’t really mean what you said, it was more so in the moment of anger, frustration and more importantly, the constant nagging pain then random weeks in the year where you would get heightened levels of the pain due to a ‘flareup’. How does it happen? You would have usually have done something to push yourself too much- whether or not either of you have realised it. And full disclosure, a big risk to take would be bedroom activities. You usually did not care until it was too late and end up pushing through the next few days with what feels like your whole body aching.

“Shit, I did not see you here, Damian.” You let out a soft gasp, a hand clutching at your chest.

“I wanted pizza. I sent him a text, and here he is.” Janis grins, “Sit down, lovey.” You did, eyeing the box Damian’s placed on the coffee table.

“I bought our favourite- trust me, me need this.” He joked, “They even gave us free garlic knots.”

“Oh, hell yes.” Janis rummages through the paper bag for some of that bread first while you reached for a slice of the pepperoni and sausage pizza.

“Hey, guys.” Janis’ mom was home. They greet her almost in unison, while you gave her a wave without saying a thing. “How are you feeling, y/n? Any better?”

“Barely.” You revealed.

“You came home to grab your lunch, didn’t ya?” Janis chuckled.

“Yeah.” Her Mom laughs, “Forgot it this morning. You guys need anything before I go?”

“I think we’re good.” Janis answers after pondering for a second, observing you and Damian as well.

“Alright. If your Ma calls the home phone, please pick up and let me know. Some guy at the coffee shop spilled his coffee on her and the phone’s a goner.” Janis’ Mom informed.

“Alright, well- did she back up her stuff?” Janis’ eyes widened for a beat.

“Yeah, but it’s just that she doesn’t have time right now to get a new phone.”

“Oh, okay. Get back to work, I wouldn’t want you to be late.” Janis shrugs, one of her hands on your back as you ate.

Her Mom flashes a smile, nodding, “I’ll pick up Ma on my way back from work, we’ll be buying dinner too. You guys are welcome to join us.” After Damian says he couldn’t— since he’d already promised his family that he’d be home by dinner, Janis’ Mom leaves with her lunch to go back to work.

————

Janis and Damian were engaged in a conversation over lunch, you on the other hand were more focused on whether or not you could make it through more of the day without relying on pain meds. They tasted foul and made you feel even worse- yes, even with the pain gone, the Tramadol gave you pretty bad nausea even after taking an anti-emetic. And you, having emetophobia would rather not go through that.

You were fine- you weren’t gonna collapse or anything, you were just in a lot of pain and physically uncomfortable. It was pretty much all you could feel, especially every time you took in a breath even slightly deeper. “Stay with me till this flareup is over.” Janis announced to you, “Your parents aren’t in town, and your sisters…I don’t trust them to be accountable for you. Don’t fight me on this.”

“Alright.” You agreed curtly, putting your plate containing a half-eaten slice on the coffee table, then you just curled up in a corner. “I’ll finish it later.”

“Yeah, sure, baby.” Janis smiled briefly, mouth full of food. Damian chuckled at her talking with her mouth full, earning a playful shove from the ravenette. You managed to fall asleep with their company, thank god. But when you woke up, it was just Janis alone.

“I made you some tea, y/n. Should help your chest pain some.” She hands you a mug, which you gladly took a few sips out of before putting down. “Thanks.” A warm beverage always alleviates your chest pain- the heat from it helps once you’d consumed it. Since it goes down your throat, it basically kinda just, spreads to your chest. “No problem, lovey.” She sits down beside you, putting the TV remote nearer to you in case you felt like watching something.

Here’s how it was: You couldn’t close a door behind yourself, you couldn’t wear a seatbelt on your own, you couldn’t stretch in any way because it would trigger a sharp pain in your chest. The condition was by definition, an inflammation of the cartilage of the ribcage. Thus, causing the pain. Even a cough or a sneeze would have you cursing and swearing, if not on the verge of tears. Little every day tasks are a huge challenge for you now, and it would be like this at every flare up. You hated that had to rely on her or someone else for such minuscule things. It made you feel useless.

While you finished up the tea, she was eating a bag of chips. It was evident to her that you were still in pain. When you first started experiencing it, you had it for a full week before it got unbearable and you had ended up in the ER. The worst part? Probably the physical exam where the doctor pressed down on your ribs and quite literally made you cry. But it did however, confirm your diagnosis. So you were glad you weren’t just seemed as ‘dramatic’(like the ER initially thought you were) and it made your Mom shut up about those remarks after Janis’ mother handed her the memo from the doctor. “I’m…really sorry. I just feel like shit and very unlike myself.”

“It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, I’ve been such a bitch.”

“Look who you’re talking to.” She exhales, “I don’t care if you’re ‘ruder than usual’, you’re in a lot of pain right now, and you’re someone who’s already dealing with chronic pain from your legs and your scoliosis, whatever else…I get it. I see you going through every day and I don’t care if you’re sometimes gonna be a little snappy. A little grouchy. Or if you’re gonna wanna cry. It’s fair- seeing that I myself, and other people who don’t have to deal with chronic illnesses or pain.”

You quietly listen, closing your eyes while taking some shallow breaths. “I actually feel like dying. If this is what the rest of my life will be like, I’d just be a burden. Well, more of it.”

“Baby, you- oh my God, every day. You’re dealing with symptoms that would send regular people straight to the ER. So whatever you need, let me know. Take your anger out on me, I don’t care. I already told you I would do anything for you.” Janis continues.

“You’re so sweet.” You sniffled, a little too hard.

“Only for you, baby.” She winked, her hand on your knee, “You know, I got my period while I was in the shower.”

“Which would explain the extra pain.” Janis scoffs, her hand stops at your lower back, giving you the needed warmth. “More hormones…more pain, which sucks, but in the meantime…you wanna watch some TV?”

You declined, “I just…wanna sit here with you.”

“Anything you want.” She kisses you softly on the cheek.

“My whole life, I’ve been the sick child. And now things just got worse.” You said to her while you feel her arm gently wrap around your waist, “I guess some days I just let the worst thoughts get the best of me. When I say I want…to die, it’s just that I want to stop suffering. I can’t focus or do anything when I’m in pain in makes me feel like nothing.”

“I hear you and I got you, okay?” Janis cups your cheeks with both hands, “I don’t understand fully, what you’re going through but I see how hard things get for you and I will always be here to help you- with anything. Okay? And Damian. He cares, I care. We love you. Hm? Don’t ever feel like you’re bothering people - we all need help sometimes and I just fucking love you and would do anything if I could make it better.”

You were already emotional, being on your period, hearing her say all that just made you feel like crying even more. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Here’s one thing you need to remember in times like these- I will be here for you, no matter the time of day. Call me, or text me. Whatever. But I will always, always have time for you.” Janis had her hands in your own, kissing them.

————

Now it was after dinner, so her Moms were in their room. And you, were in Janis’ room with her. You were laying down, your head in her lap as she massaged your aching head. “Janis.” You looked up at her. She glances at you, “Yeah?”

“You know they say sex would help with cramps?”

“I heard.” She responded nonchalantly.

“Can you help me?” You asked straightforwardly.

“I can, if that’s what you want. But you’d definitely be in quite a bit of pain afterwards, everywhere else.” She raised a brow, a hand on your torso.

“I’m already in pain. Might as well make myself…feel good.” You sigh.

“You’ve got a point.” She hums, “I can definitely help you out. Just gotta go grab some towels.”

“You really don’t mind?” You asked her cautiously.

“Yeah.” Janis confirmed, “I have hands, I have vibrators…some blood’s not gonna scare me.”

You chuckled, “Okay. Ah, shit. That hurt.”

“Just…lay down and look pretty for me.” She winks, slowly shifting you onto the mattress fully so she could get off the bed and retrieve the towels.

After locking the doors and washing her hands, Janis lays the towel beneath you, carefully leaning down to kiss you while holding herself up on her palms. “You can stop me at anytime, alright?”

You nod, kissing her back. She began stripping each article of clothing off of you, carefully, watching your face to make sure she doesn’t hurt you. You kiss her this time, starting to feel your need for her grow rapidly. It really does not take you long when you were on your period. She stuck her tongue in your mouth, it exploring every little bit of it eagerly. You moaned into the kiss soon enough, and she takes it as her cue to do more. The back of her hand brushes over your nipples, the whimper you let out and expression on your face tells her they were way too sensitive. She leaves them alone, choosing to attack the known sensitive spots on your neck instead. She elicits the sounds of approval out of you extremely easily, as you feel the familiar rush between your legs. Reaching for a small bullet-shaped vibrator, she turns it on and presses it to your clit gently. You gasp, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head as you got giddy with pleasure.

“You’re okay?”

“Still good.” You let out a strained reply. She breaks away from you completely, getting off of her bed. Then, she pulls you down to near the edge of the mattress, along with the towel. Grabbing your ankles, she was knelt on a rug, pushing them up as gently as she could, mindful about your hurting right hip. She’s never done this before, but you trusted her with your life. So you went with it. You feel her fingers tracing the stretch marks on your thighs, making you squirm because you were ticklish. She kisses you on your inner thighs several times before you felt her fingers teasing your folds. You whimpered, feeling her so close to where you needed her the most. She held your ankles together for a bit as she slid two fingers into you without trouble, pumping them in and out as her thumb rubbed circles on your clit. You were like a melted puddle under her touch, you wanted to moan, but you remembered her parents were only a couple doors down so you had a fist on your mouth to keep yourself quiet,

“It’s okay. You don’t have to do that.” She tells you, looking at you right in the eye. Her voice, it was so gentle and sweet…like honey, or a lullaby.

“Your Moms are home.” You reminded.

“They don’t care.” She stated, all this while her hands don’t stop. Your legs, now sloppily laid on her shoulders as she held the vibrator with that hand and returned it to its spot on your clit, adding on to the stimulation. And with her also curling her fingers upward to hit your g-spot, your release was even closer. “I want to hear you, my love.” She requested as she turned the small vibrator off and put it aside on the towel. Her fingers still hard at work as her free hand reached over to a draw in her nightstand to locate a thicker vibrator. She doesn’t turn it on, but instead she asks if she could use that in place of her fingers. You agreed, desperately wanting to get your release. The stretch you felt caused you to give her a throaty moan, but it didn’t hurt a bit, thanks to the extra lubrication. With every thrust, the more high-pitched your whimpers became. Until, they became actual moans that just couldn’t stop. You could feel her twisting it in between thrusts, it made you feel insanely good. It was never that easy until this time every month, especially not with this minimal foreplay. Her thrusts became harsher at the end as you felt the coil in your core, it felt so intense- it actually kind of ached. As you unraveled, she removes the vibrator and her fingers took over again, helping you down from your high.

When she helped you get up and into the shower, you caught a look of the aftermath, which wasn’t as horrific as you thought it would be. “I’ll be in with you in a minute, okay. Just be careful.”

“I’ll be fine.” You assured, sitting down on a ledge in the bathroom where her bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash usually sat. She dumps the towels in a pail filled with hot water. You couldn’t actually see anything on them because they were black coloured towels so that saved you from overthinking how the mess looked.

————

She returns to the bathroom with two sets of clothes for the both of you, leaving them on the countertop of the sink. Janis closes the door. “Hi, pretty girl.” She cooed, hopping into the shower with you.

“Hi.” You smiled in return.

You reached for the body wash, but she stops you, saying she’d do it for you. Well, and every other step of the shower. Suddenly, you got an idea. She’s helped you out, so you thought it was time for her turn. As she stood before you, her chest barely above your eye-line, your hand finds its way to her hip. “What ya doin’?” She asks you with a chuckle as she squeezes some of the body wash onto a loofah. The smell of lavender and camomile feels the air of the steamy shower. You took a careful breath- you loved this fragrance. “Do you want me to…y’know You ask, “You helped me out, I think it’s fair if I help you out now.”

She smirked. “I’m gonna say yes to that.”

Your pointer and middle fingers slide down her folds, you let out a quiet gasp feeling that she was wet. You had it down to a science, how to make her come. It did not take you more than fifteen minutes to have her be asking to come. You let her, without resistance, since she’d make it so easy for you earlier.

She lets out a giddy little laugh, helping you stand up from your seat on the ledge, “I love you.” Janis captures your lips into her own, giving you a lingering kiss as she presses her forehead against your own.

You fell asleep much, much easier that night. She wore you out- that, coupled with your typical tiredness you felt on your period. Before you could feel your pain in a plethora of locations amp up its intensity, you’d succumbed to slumber, feeling Janis doodle circles and other silly shapes on your back with her fingers. “I love you, Janis.” You mumbled sleepily as your eyelids drooped shut.

“I love you so much, baby.” She said wholeheartedly, that being the last thing you heard before falling asleep. Janis doesn’t stop tracing random shapes on your clothed back as for a few minutes, but she mentally ran through a checklist of the stuff she’d left on her desk- stuff that you’d need just in case: water, your medications, some snacks in case you needed to take the meds, plastic bags, heat packs and even the medicated pain relief plasters her Mom got you. You grumbled that it was a lot of work for her but she said it was no trouble. You felt bad, but she tells you not to. She always won. Whenever you were ill or brought down by cramps before this new condition took over and gave sick days a whole new meaning, she’d always make the time to take care of you. Even in school, she’d make the day go by easier for you by subtly doing whatever she could think of…sneaking you little individually wrapped pieces of your favourite chocolate or candy, bringing Advil or Tylenol in her bag with her for the week, even just by asking if you were okay so you knew that she cared and that she was aware that you were sick or having your monthly cycle so you could ask her for help if needed. You never did openly ask her for help, per se. But instead she’d ask if you needed anything because she just knew. Janis could read you like a book after having started off as best friends. She knew just how you behaved whenever you had something on your mind or whenever you weren’t at 100%.

Your Mother’s warned her that you were a big problem to deal with, as though you weren’t a human being with feelings. She bluntly told your Mother that even if you had problems, she didn’t give a shit the way your Mom did. She’d actually make sure you were treated with care. The night Janis got into it with your Mom, she made you a promise to always be looking after you and you told her you’d do the same for her. Neither of you have once broke that promise, which surprised your Mother to no end but slowly caused her to back off. Very unwillingly. Especially since you’ve learnt that, the lesser time you spent at home, the better it was for you. If being with Janis taught you one thing, it was to be unapologetically yourself and always standing up to the people who would treat you badly — that’s two, technically. But you get it. You were not a plaything for others to manipulate for their own enjoyment or benefit.

Everyone you passed in your life since knowing Janis, called her a danger, a problem, or just… ‘bad’, but you disagreed. To you, she was the opposite of those terms. Even when she had her little moments where she’d threatened to rip the head off of a school bully or break their jaw for each mean passing remark. That was her way of caring for people that mattered to her, because she knew that if she just let it go, those bullies kept going day after day. She had to show them that she meant what she said. And you loved her for that. And many other reasons, like how happy she made you, but yeah. You were her problem, and she was yours. As she said, playing along with your Mother’s words. Her wit - your Mother was no match to her. Janis will always have a comeback and Damian always enjoys witnessing such a situation. While you were soundly asleep, Janis stayed up thinking about the night your Mom called you a problem. She could not let that shit go as hard as she tried. Those words were as good as tattooed on her mind and she detested that.

‘You made her a problem. You caused her to have anxiety and depression. None of this is her fault. How could you treat your daughter like that? You didn’t even call or text to check on her once.’ Janis thought.

She watches you sleep as her thoughts ran through her mind. Feeling the anger bubbling up, she takes a few deep breaths to calm herself down, scooting closer to you quietly to hold you in her arms.

‘You want to call her a problem? Fine. So be it. She’s a good problem to have. Screw you.’ Janis thought again.

“Nothing will ever make me mad at you.” She mumbles to herself, brushing the hair out of your face, “Good night, sweet girl.”

#lgbtqia #queer #wlw #x reader #reader insert #auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #mean girls 2024 #disabled reader #vent #idk but janis has two moms in my head #SoundCloud

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leconcombrerit · 2 months

Text

Last one and I'll stop bothering you, but here's the big outline of my interpretation :

An endless loop

The boys are stuck in a loop ; as Phee said at the end, even he, Jin and Tee had never left the house. I don't think they're dead. I just think them being dead or alive doesn't matter, because they will all circle back to the house in the woods anyway, and the loop will start again from the beginning of ep 1. Much the same as Phee didn't remember how they got out, they won't remember how they got back in. They won't remember much, actually. Events will replay the same way they had last time -and the time before, and all those beforehand for all we know. A neverending recreation of Non's first and only movie. But I think there's more.

If they die like Por, Top, Fluke, White and New, they're brought back to the loop anyway. Death isn't a get out of jail card. If they get away like Phee, Jin and Tee, they get brought back as well -but I think they keep a vague memory of the slaughter on a subconscious level. Not the flashbacks kind ; rather that feeling etched in your bones, something you don't even notice that still guides your moves and thoughts.

The masked figures

Time travel usually tends to get tricky since the very principle of a loop is that things already happened while they're happening, the masked figures would be the boys' own 'ghosts', or previous selves if you'd like. I made a post about it here, and another here about which masked figure would represent each character.

Tee's memories

Tee freaks out and refuses to consider any option other than the ghost of Non being out to get them. He feels guilty, sure, but he still seems to overreact compared with his usual behavior. Not that I had noticed much since we barely knew him at the time. Tee knows. He does't know that he knows, but he knows anyway. And he'll get rid of the ghost haunting him and protect White this time.

Just kidding. He failed again.

Phee's memories

Unlike the others, Phee breaks out of the nightmare by his own means. He doesn't cave in like Fluke, Top or even Tee ; he doesn't need saving like Jin. Phee escapes by convincing himself what he sees is entirely an hallucination, a certainty that allows him to figuratively let Non die and keep the ghost at bay (more about it here).

A ghost that can't appear if you're not scared ; if you don't believe in it at all ; if your mind isn't plagued by fear and clouded by drugs. Phee abandons Non again to save Jin and Tee, but forcing your way out isn't going to be enough to beat Non's curse. His mind being the clearest, he'd retain bits and pieces that would help him navigate the scene, as I mentioned in one of the linked posts. One of those memories would be that Non doesn't haunt them, it's all manmade. Second would be little things that allow him to make impeccable guesswork.

Phee being Phee, he probably tries his best to save as many people as he can every time. But hey, he failed again. And he loses even when he wins.

The drugs and the ghost

When I said paranormal and factual dimensions were intertwined, I mean you can't cut a clear distinction bewteen the two. It overlaps. Some events are both paranormal and material at the same time ; I think that's what happens with the hallucinations the boys get. It is due to the drugs, yet at the same time it is Non. I felt like the more you see him with a mask on, the less it's him and the more of a drug induced hallucination it is.

Those who truly see him are the ones Non feels the most strongly about. Tee, who tried his best but also sentenced him to death. Phee, who abandoned him when he needed him most. Jin is still a mystery but I'm working on it. And New, of course.

New was never cursed ; he is part of the curse

New who doesn't see his worst fear come true, but gets comforting words instead, even after breathing the gas. New who is yet stuck in this nightmarish loop like the rest of them in spite of being forgiven by the end of it.

As I stated here, he serves as an ally for Non. He's the one who makes everything possible. Non holds his hand with the red string of fate on. New will forever carry out his brother's revenge, over and over and again. I don't think it's such a bad fate for him. He has the time of his life anytime he takes one of them down after all.

Could they break free ?

Ultimately ? I wanna say no. I like it better that way. Non won't forgive them. But if you told me 'hey, let's make a season 2, those fuckers need to find a way out', well...

A classic would be that they need to all survive. Or that's at least something they could try (and by 'they' I mean Phee, he's the obvious hero). Keep Por from impaling himself on a branch, or keep Top from killing him. Find ways around New's plan. Get everyone to calm their tits when actual ghosts haunt their hallucinations. Good luck with that.

Another classic would be to get them to accept and face what they did to Non. No more 'I'm sorry's, no more 'it wasn't me'. Man up. Face your fear. Look the ghost dead in the eyes and take it all in. Tee especially would need to get a lot of work done before he inhales the fumes, and more again when he faces Non. He did kill him. Trying to repair his mistake doesn't change shit to that. He has to stab him or he'll stab White.

Phee would need to accept that it is indeed Non he's facing. He needs to accept that he let him die and that Non hated him for it. Phee desperately wants to be a good man, true to his word, strong and reliable. He wasn't any of this to Non. His final reaction is the right one ; he had to let Non die in that bathtub. He had to let him jump off the roof. But he has to do so acknowledging that it's Non.

And if they all do this, Non doesn't have power on them anymore. His vengeance becomes empty. Only New remains as a threat, robbed from his main weapon. The whole thing becomes meaningless and falls apart. I hate it because Non and New deserve their killing spree, but somehow I don't think a second season would go that route...

#I'll stop I swear #but I need to get my mind off things #and it's interesting #I sort of want to write a little ficlet about it ?#I mean I would need to finish Family Portrait first sure #but maybe a little teeny tiny fic ? I don't know #hit me up if you'd read that I could always try #dead friend forever #dff the series

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moons-cozy-corner · 2 years

Text

Rescued? (pt.1)

TW: past torture, panic attack, hospital setting, overstimulation, past captivity, previous brainwashing, pet whump (please tell me if I missed any!! This ones kinda a lot

Pet didn't remember the world being so bright.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

The past couple of years had been filled with a soft dullness. Everything was dark and quiet for Pet in their little room. He needn't hear anything that wasn't Master, and a pet needn't see to know how to behave. Master had told him this time and time again, especially in the beginning. And now, Pet preferred it this way.

He had just wished Master would have prepared him for this. The noises, the lights. It was so much, and Pet could do nothing more than clench his eyes and ignore the beeping and whirring of the technology around him.

It was rather difficult to stay calm when a bunch of loud men burst into his home, clad in black vests and guns in their hands, pointed right at him, flashlights shining in his face. The officers had kicked his door down, ripping off his chains and dragging him out of his room into the cold night. Pet fought so hard to stay in his room like a good pet should, but they were stronger than Pet, who was so thin one could see his ribs clearly, and there certainly was no more muscle left in those arms. So now he sat on a hospital bed in a scratchy gown, dozens of wires taped to his skin and lights assaulting his eyes.

There was no sign of his Master anywhere, and that was the worst part. Master always came to visit him, every single day. Pet had of course been told what to do in the case that he had been stolen. Stay quiet. Be patient. I will find you. Behave until I do. But it was hard to be confident when so far away from Master.

Regardless, the mantra reverberated through his skull over and over again. It was all he allowed himself to hear. It was all he deserved to hear, and all that he would hear until Master returned to rescue him.

"Hello?" Somebody knocked on the door, three times precisely. He paid no mind, even as the nurse drew closer to the bedside. Something smelled nice, desperately nice and warm, but he kept his eyes clamped shut regardless. This person would not trick him into betraying his Master.

"I've brought you some food," she cooed, as if talking to a scared animal. To her, he probably was, being as thin and frail as he was. But that was another of the rules; the only food you ever eat will come from my hand, and my hand only.

So Pet just sat there. He sat there, eyes shut but not blocking out any harsh light, smelling the delicious smell of a meal within his fingertips. It was a useless effort of the nurse, really. Pet would refuse to eat anything until its Master returned. No matter how delightful it smelled.

"I'll just... I'll leave it right here, then." It was a clear statement, but the confusion and horror slipped through that practiced honey-sweet voice of hers. She walked away, becoming another set of steps in the never ending stampede of the hallway, and the glorious smell remained.

Pet couldn't remember the last time he'd smelled a smell that good. He'd always been fed the same thing, and he couldn't even state confidently what that was. Its not like what it was mattered anyways. Master had been generous enough to feed him, even when they deserved punishment. And for that, Pet was grateful.

More nurses came and left throughout the day, checking his vitals, changing I.V.s. At some point, a nurse had started force-feeding Pet, to which they didn't know how to react other than to allow it to happen. He knew better than to scream and fight back-Master had taught him that much-but did it count around these new people? Well, probably not. Pet was too confused to know. It normally wasn't his job to think this hard about obedience. When it came to Master... well, it had been easy.

When he was alone, he cried. Maybe when Master found him again he'd be punished for this weakness, but he couldn't care. It would be a comfort to feel Masters embrace again, even if it was an aggressive one. And maybe, just maybe, he'd be rewarded for behaving so well, for resisting the food and the kindness and the warmth, for uttering not a word until they reunited.

"I've got to see him! Please, let me through-" A voice hissed on the other side of the cracked open door. Of course the nurses hadn't trusted Pet with the door closed, having to keep watch on him 24/7. Even Master gave him more trust than them. "I need to know if it's him!"

"Sir, you can't enter here." One of the dozens of nurses Pet had heard that day, trying to keep someone out? Why did they care who came in and out? What if it was Master? They can't keep Master out! "It's the middle of the night, come back in the morning for the identification process. Let him sleep, Hero. He's been through... a lot."

"Villain!" Nope, not Master. The voice was too squeaky, too emotional to be Master. Pet curled in on himself further, trying to block out the noise. If it wasn't Master-which it wasn't-then they needn't hear it. "Let me in!"

He could hear the fighting going on right outside the room. It made him sick, all of the noise. The smell of the food still lingered in the air, stale and wrong after sitting out for too long. The way that same food sat like stone at the base of their gut. They'd taken Pet's clothes and put him in this gown-this damned gown!-and everything was wrong and itchy and gross and so loud and so bright and-

Nurses held Pet down from both sides, another fumbling to check the vitals and the I.V. again, muttering incoherently to each other as Pet struggled under their grasp. He yelled out for Master to rescue him, to take him home, all the while tears ran down his face collecting old dirt from days passed. His eyes were still clenched shut, now tighter than ever. He wanted to go home, anywhere but this hellish place.

A prick in his arm sent him further into his rampage of kicks and yells, but slowly his muscles turned lax, his cries growing weaker and weaker, and the last thing he could feel was the hands on him loosen and the chattering go silent.

One final voice piped up from somewhere in the background. "That's him," it whispered, recognition echoing through the deepest parts of Pets skull. "That's my Villain."

part 2

tag-list: @bleeding-letters

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milflewis · 9 months

Note

who is sinead o’connor?

wasn’t going to answer this lol bc i’ve actually found myself feeling more about her passing than i thought i would? so apologies if this comes off a bit weird i am in a v strange place rn. btw. she converted to islam a few years ago and changed her name to shuhada sadaqat. tho she still performed under sinéad o’connor! she was an irish singer from the late eighties and was v talented. would ten out of ten recommend her music! but to me and a lot of ppl she was so much more than that.

the first time i saw a woman angry on tv it was shuhada sadaqat. it was a replaying of this video and the news station was taking the piss out of her. i was eight and i remember my grandad waking up from his nap and rolling his eyes at the screen and saying she should’ve kept her mouth shut. that he used to think she was smth worth looking at. and changing the channel to the sunday match.

she was So Angry and so so unapologetic about it. the ripping up of the pope’s picture in this video and declaring that we should fight the real enemy. was her way of talking about the systemic sex abuse that children have faced at the hands of the church for decades and how no one is properly talking about it. keep in mind this was BEFORE there was any serious investigations being done or it was being discussed openly in the media. it was not smth that was being acknowledged and any priests that were being caught were being treated as a ‘bad apple’ rather than part of a system of institutionalised abuse. she was nearly completely ostracised and blackballed. she was labelled batshit crazy and difficult and a shrew etc. you know the story. it’s always the same.

she never took it back. i remember one time where she was asked did she regret ruining her career bc the career that she could’ve had v much did get fucked by what she did and she said that it fucked up the career that ppl (her agents and etc) wanted for her. not the one that SHE wanted. that has always stuck with me.

sadaqat was also a survivor of the magdalene laundries. having been sent there for shoplifting i believe? at 18. which are a whole other story but were basically these places set up in ireland by the church and sanctioned by the government where unwed and pregnant/misbehaving and or had mental health issues girls and young women were sent to work (launder clothes and sheets etc) until they gave birth and then the child was taken from them and given up for adoption or were declared fit to return to society. there were v few records kept of who went where. a lot of children and women didn’t make it due to the conditions they were living in (corporal punishment was also not an uncommon practise used). a mass grave of nearly 800 bodies was found here in Tuam in 2017 (i think?) which caused a national scandal that has been handled and is still being handled so v fucking poorly it’s depressing. the church has yet to apologise or take proper ownership for this. neither has our government. who had at best allowed it to happen and at worst encouraged it. for context. shuhada tore up this picture in 1992. the last laundry was closed in 1996.

she spoke out about how abortion was dealt and not dealt with in this country. how we were sending people away to england to have them instead of legalising it here. an irish solution to an irish problem. she told her story about how she had them to try to normalise and create a discussion decades before it was allowed and brought into practise here.

she talked about things. this. to me. was one of the biggest things she ever did. she spoke! she refused to ignore and let it go! which in this country is pretty fucking rare rn. let alone back then. this is who she is and so much more. if you’re interested to learn more about her i would highly recommend looking her up! (she did a podcast episode with blindboy that i haven’t listened to yet but i’ve heard v good things about!) she was a pretty fucking cool person

#i didn’t have any heroes growing up and she wasn’t one of them even if i was going to have them but i think she came close?#idk . like i said. she was the first woman who i ever say being angry. that meant smth i think #shuhada sadaqat #sinéad o’connor #tw child abuse #anon tag #niamh.asks

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bi-bard · 2 years

Text

Lovesick - Sonny Carisi Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: Lovesick

Pairing: Sonny Carisi X Reader

Word Count: 1,088 words

Warning(s):

Summary: Carisi offers (Y/n) some dating advice, which leads to Rollins offering (Y/n) an unrequested second opinion.

Author's Note: I'm a sucker for stupid shit like this.

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I had been disconnected all day.

I was doing the work, getting the job done, but my mind felt like it was on a different planet.

I only started coming back to Earth when a cup of coffee was placed on my desk. I looked up to see Sonny standing next to my desk.

"Looked like you needed it," he shrugged.

"Thanks," I muttered, grabbing the cup. "You're right. Like always."

"Are you alright?"

"Got stood up," I replied. "Again."

"Same guy?"

I nodded.

Sonny and I had been close for a while. He was supportive, verging on protective. I assumed it was a thing he did with everyone. He was the one that I trusted with everything. I never trusted anyone with everything.

"Can I offer some unsolicited advice," he asked.

I nodded. Why the hell not? What's the worst that could happen? I don't take the advice? I get upset at what he says? It's Sonny. I knew that he meant well.

"I think you should drop this guy," he said. "He's not worth the effort. I mean, doubt the dinner would even be worth it."

I chuckled. He was probably right.

"Tell you what, I have an idea," he explained.

"Oh, that's dangerous."

"That was uncalled for."

"Sorry," I held my hands up for a moment. "Alright, what's your idea?"

"Tonight, after work, come over and I'll make you the best dinner you've ever had," he suggested.

"Are you sure?"

"I'd rather make sure you're getting decent food than think about you waiting for that idiot to call again."

I grinned. "Alright, fine. Impress me, Carisi."

"Always do," he called as he stepped away from my desk.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I replied.

I looked back to the file in front of me, placing the coffee cup back next to me.

"And (Y/n) lights up again."

I jumped when I heard Amanda's voice in my ear.

She smirked at me.

"What's that look for," I asked.

"You and Carisi," she replied. "It's cute. You two talk and now, look at you. Like nothing upset you at all."

I rolled my eyes.

"And watching Carisi try to hide how jealous he is, is very fun," she shrugged.

"Jealous," I raised an eyebrow. "Sonny's a friend. He's worried about me. Doesn't want me stuck with an ass."

"And he offers to one-up your potential date because he's a good friend?"

I just shrugged, looking at the file again.

"(Y/n), my dear, I'm telling you this as a friend," Amanda squatted next to my chair. I looked at her as she looked around the room quickly. "He looks at you like a lovesick teenager."

"Oh, shut up."

"He is in love with you, (Y/n)."

"You're wrong, Amanda."

"Mmhmm, sure I am."

I rolled my eyes again, waiting for her to finally stand and start walking away.

I didn't want to believe her. At all.

I wanted to believe that Sonny and I were just friends.

It was easier that way. No annoying details to complicate things. No matter how I felt about him or how he felt about me. It would all be okay if we ignored it.

I met Sonny at the door that night and we walked out together.

When we got to his place, he was rambling about whatever he planned on making. I was just grinning and nodding along. I leaned on the counter as he went about his business, offering to help. He refused.

It all just felt so natural. Like we had done this a thousand times before and would do it a thousand times after this. Like the pieces were falling into place whether I was ready for them to or not.

"Can I just say, it's nice to have you around again," he said after a little while. He was at the stove.

"It's nice to be around again," I replied. "You make very good company."

"I would hope so," he chuckled. "Be disappointed if you only came over for my cooking."

"Well..."

I dragged out the word for a few seconds before Sonny nudged me with his elbow.

I watched him for a moment. Outside of work mode. Relaxed and in control. It was nice. I took a deep breath.

"Y'know, Rollins and I had an interesting chat today," I brought up. I wanted it to be casual. I wanted him to be comfortable denying what she had told me. "After you invited me over."

"What about? If you don't mind me asking."

"Well... mostly you... us really," I shrugged, standing up straight.

"What's she so worried about us for?"

He seemed to try to play it casually too, but I saw him tense a bit.

"She thought you were jealous of me trying to date," I forced a chuckle. Like I wasn't trying to pry at his thoughts.

When he didn't respond, I took a deep breath and pushed a little more.

"She seems to think you have feelings for me."

He glanced at me for a moment before going back to the pan. I was hoping that he would immediately deny it. Then, we could pretend this was a joke and I hadn't just outed the fact that I clearly had feelings for him too. But the silence felt like another can of worms.

Silent confirmation.

The worst kind of confirmation, in my opinion. Because it pushed me to do things that I would typically be terrified of doing.

"Sonny."

He didn't speak. He didn't look up from the stove. He just clenched his jaw and focused on whatever he was doing.

"Look at me," I begged, reaching out to touch his forearm. "Please."

He finally relented, turning his head to face me. His jaw was still clenched. He looked embarrassed.

I leaned over and kissed him gently. Only a matter of seconds before I leaned back again. I grinned as I did, looking down at the floor for a moment.

"I... have feelings for you too," I said. "Just so you know."

"Good," he nodded. "Really good."

"I'd hope so."

There was a pause before Sonny spoke up again, "We are not telling Rollins that she is the reason this happened."

"Oh God, no, she'd never let us hear the end of it."

He chuckled as shook his head. I leaned forward and rested my head on his shoulder. I let my eyes close for a while.

Sonny was right.

This was much better than any other date I could've been dragged on that night.

---------------------------

Author's Note: I personally ship Carisi and Rollins, but Rollins was the only person I saw being even kinda likely to do this, so I had to work with it.

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#sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi fanfiction #sonny carisi x reader #fanfiction #imagine #x reader #law and order svu x reader #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order svu imagine #dominick carisi imagine #dominick carisi fanfiction #dominick carisi x reader

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canned-goose-feathers · 2 years

Text

IX.

It's odd how quickly the presence in his head becomes normal. It still scares him occasionally with a whisper in his ear or warmth spread down his spine. He steers clear of the other hermits, though some are easier to avoid than others, Scar being the absolute worst. While the man still gives him space, it's like he's waiting for something to happen. He talks to Grian like he's waiting for some big surprise, like a child who knows his parents have planned a surprise party, but he knows that he's not supposed to know. The difference is that Grian knows that he knows, except Grian doesn't really know what Scar thinks he knows (or should know).

It's very confusing. Grian tries not to think about it.

Grian is sitting in front of a dormant Grumbot. He wonders if Grumbot is sleeping. Can he dream? He didn't program h to, but then again he'd had been showing some . . . Interesting attributes Grian definitely didn't program in. The sound of a rocket breaks his thoughts and he looks up to see someone gliding into his little hole.

Xisuma lands easily, his elytra folding behind him. Grian can't really see the bottom half of his face through the visor, but the crinkle of his eyes tells him the admin is smiling.

"Hello Grian!"

Grian grins, "Fancy seeing you here, X-eye-zuma. What brings you to my rift?"

Xisuma visibly rolls his eyes, then says "Just wanted to check in with you, mate. Mumbo's not here to do it, someone has to."

"That is true." Grian tries not to let the longing seep into his voice. He misses Mumbo more than he'd dare to say. Grian purses his lips for a second, then looks back up to Xisuma. He opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly there's static in his head. He blinks away the stars that have gathered in his vision. His tongue refuses to work, as if the words have just left him.

"Grian?" Xisuma says. He doesn't sound confused. He doesn't know why that sticks out; in any other situation like this, the other should sound confused, maybe even worried. He doesn't sound like he's either of those. He sounds almost . . . Wary? No, that's not quite right. His voice is almost like a warning, like the kind one would a cat about to get into something it shouldn't.

Xisuma's hand touches Grian's shoulder and glass shatters.

Grian is stumbling backwards, uncoordinated and frantic. He doesn't even notice the movement over the screaming in his head.

He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows-

Grian claps his hands over his ears as the Entity shrieks in his head. He feels his wings raise and it takes every ounce of strength in him to shove them tight against his back.

"Shut up!" he yells over the cacophony, "stop it, stop it!"

The screaming stops. He's shaking hard, rattled in the sudden silence. He's never felt so out of control, never had it use his body like that. He wants it out, wants to tear out red feathers and extract this thing from him in any way that he can, he wants it gone.

Xisuma stares. His visor is darker and Grian can't even begin to guess at his expression. His hand is still outstretched towards him.

Grian stares back, his mind racing to recover from the onslaught and somehow say something, anything, to cover for the fact that he just lost it at a single touch and, oh void, he'd yelled out loud, hadn't he? He needs to say something, but his brain is scrambled and all that comes out is "Please don't touch me."

Xisuma drops his hand.

"Okay," he says softly. "I'm sorry. Are you . . ."

"I think you should leave," Grian says. Or, rather, tries to say. What comes out instead is "Voidwalker. Leave."

Xisuma stills.

Grian tries to stop the words as they tumble out of his mouth. "He is mine, don't touch. You corrupt. Get out, get out, get out—" Grian snaps his jaw closed so hard that he bites his tongue. Blood fills his mouth and he seems to gain back some control, but Xisuma is already moving away, turning and rocketing out of the cave.

Grian sinks down until he's sitting again. He's not sure he trusts himself to stand at this point. That . . . Could have gone better. Warmth spreads down his spine across his wings, safe, comfort, security. He feels the push, a want to return to the Entity. It's easier now that he can see the distinction between what he wants and what it wants. It's also easier to disregard it.

He ends up flying over the forests and mountains surrounding his base. Really, what else can he do? The Entity stops clamoring in his head, though he can still feel its hunger. It's been hungry for a while now; he'd managed to catch a few rabbits and eat one of his sheep, but he still hated it. It was enough to keep the Entity fed. At least that's what he'd thought.

He makes it as far as the villager ship by the time his wings start to ache. The rising air from the water feels good on his wings. The miniature handmade ocean around the villager "farm" is so much nicer than the actual ocean, mainly because he doesn't get salt everywhere. He lands gently, the noise of villagers below perking his interest.

The thing is, Grian knows better than this. There's a reason he hadn't been to the villager farm, and it's the same reason he'd been avoiding the hermits. He was a starved dog, willingly throwing himself into a pen of sheep and hoping that he wouldn't kill them.

The scent of sweat and leather and metal hits him as soon as he descends the ladder. He stares as the villagers bustle around their respective work stations. They look at him every once in a while with the same wary expression he remembers seeing on the horse; like they trust him, but something deeper tells them not to. He hates how excited that makes him.

It couldn't be bad, right? No one would have to know. The villagers are easily replaced anyway, and it's not like there aren't a lot of them. No one would even notice. His stomach churns and his mouth waters. He's not thinking straight. Maybe the Entity didn't really leave him alone. He wants, so badly, more than ever before.

Just once, then he's done.

He steps forward and grabs the arm of a villager, a calligrapher he thinks. They pull against him, but he's far stronger. He pulls them into a quiet area of the ship, ignoring it's rushed words of a language he can't understand.

He should have brought potions. Then again, he hadn't gone and planned this. His vision is swimming in red and his hands move of their own accord, or the accord of another.

He thinks, maybe, that he's starting to understand

It's dark here, enough that he can barely see what's happening, what he's doing. He thinks he might be shaking with excitement as his hunger roars in his ears like a torrent.

Grian can't let go of the villager. He's trying— oh god, he's trying— but his hand is a vice and no matter how much he wrestles with his fingers, they remain wrapped around, unmoving, like a statue, like some sort of immovable force. He didn't ask for this. How is he going to sleep tonight if he does this? Is it going to stay in his head, is it going to haunt his nightmares, will he dream of the taste of blood on his tongue forever now, is this what it's going to be like forever—

His ears are ringing. He thinks he'd be screaming if he could. He can't. His mouth is full. Pleasure floods through his brain. He's alive again, like the break of a fever. It's too much and not enough all at once.

Horror dawns slowly, the coppery smell of blood becoming acrid in his mouth. The mangled corpse in front of him is burned into the forefront of his brain. He wants to vomit and rid himself of the new contents of his stomach, but the pressure in the back of his head tells him that it'll end poorly. He's trembling, breath coming too fast, black spots dancing in his vision. There's an echo, like the whispers he hears deep in the caves or the crackle of sculk under his feet. It sounds just distant enough that he thinks it might be his name, but it might not.

"Stop stop stop stop! " He yells, hands clamped tight over his ears to block out the sounds, until the words lose meaning. His fingers twitch and he imagines digging into his ears until something pops so he can finally have silence. His talons dig in and the pinpricks of pain aren't helping. Something touches him and he feels like he's been shocked, he wants it off.

His eyes snap open to meet worried green eyes and bloody hands cradling his face.

"Grian, are you hurt?" Scar says. He's scared, and that fact scares Grian more than anything. Why is he here? Where did he come from? Doesn't he see—

Grian gasps in a breath as his lungs scream. "Hey, it's okay, just breathe with me—"

"Don't touch me," Grian wants to scream, but it comes out more like a plea. He can't, it's too much, there's so much noise and his skin doesn't feel right and he wants to claw at it until he can't feel it anymore. Scar's hands are off of him and the shrieking noise in his head quiets to only a cacophony. He's moving before he can really think about it, Void he just wants the noise to stop.

He's up the stairs when Scar reaches out to him again, calling his name. Anger flares hot and fast, a roaring fire burning from barely even a spark.

"Don't touch me!" he whirls, roaring, "just shut up!"

Scar looks far too neutral. Grian should feel guilty. He doesn't mean it, but the electric-charged feeling isn't going away and he needs out.

He trades the constant noise of the ship for the rush of wind. It's not better, not by a long shot, but he manages to fly until he nearly crashes into the side of a mountain. He lands at the mouth of a cave.

It's quiet. He tucks himself against the cave wall, his hands tight in his hair and his eyes firmly closed. Even the touch of stone against him feels like too much, and yet the gentle hum of approaching night wraps around him like a soft blanket.

Scar's approach comes sometime later, although Grian isn't sure when. It's long enough that he's stopped shaking, which is a plus. Scar lands as quietly as he can and then just . . . Stands there, waiting.

"I'm not— There's something—" he stutters and starts, unsure what he even wants to say, what he should say. He takes a quick breath. "That. Wasn't me."

"I know," Scar says softly. Grian stares at him, raw emotion flickering across his face. Scar knew? He knew something was wrong this whole time and he never said anything? He just let it happen.

He must have said some of that out loud because Scar stares resolutely at the floor as he says "I was pretty sure, at least, but I didn't know what to do. It's not . . . It's not simple, G."

Grian wants to shatter into a million pieces. He feels so small suddenly. "What's happening?" he asks, voice nearing a whine, "I don't want this, I don't understand. I don't know what's happening to me and . . . And I don't know who you are, Scar."

Hurt flashes across Scar's face. He kneels in front of him and raises his hand — still coated in blood — to Grian’s cheek. He hates that he leans into the touch. "I wish I could explain—"

"Why can't you?"

"—But this isn't something that can be explained. It's . . . Complicated."

Frustrated tears well up in his eyes and he grabs Scar's shirt in his hands, scrunching it up until his fingers protest. "What did you do to me, what's happening? I don't— this is wrong, I just want it to stop."

Scar's thumb rubs over Grian's cheek. Before he can protest, Scar has pulled him into a crushing hug. He should hate it, he should shove Scar away, but a little bit more of his resolve is chipped away and he finds himself leaning into the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Grian," Scar murmurs in his ear. "It's gonna be okay, I promise. I know. I know how hard this is. And I'm so, so sorry."

Grian holds on to scar like a lifeline, and at this point he very well may be. He feels so tired. His eyes close as exhaustion waves over him. There's something he wants to say, some question to make everything make sense or some accusation — the accusation, the thoughts he's not had the strength to put to words, the blood in Scar's teeth he resolutely ignores — but there's a ping that sounds from both of their comms. Grian wants a reason to pull away anyway, he doesn't, and to hold on to at least some of his dignity, so he does and fishes his comm out of his pocket.

His stomach drops.

Mumbo has joined the game.

#prion au #hermitcraft #grian #hermitcraft fanfic #mcyt #hermitblr #gtws #mcyt fanfiction #scarian #hermitshipping

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pretchatta · 2 years

Text

Reflections In A Broken Mirror

Hera had never loved anyone like Kanan. Losing him had been the worst experience of her life. The only way she has been able to continue is by pushing her grief down and trying not to think about the new life growing inside of her. That becomes a lot harder when something impossible happens. The man she's been missing so desperately since that night at the fuel depot is suddenly standing right in front of her, dressed in the robes of a Jedi, staring at her with the blue-green eyes that she missed so much, very much alive. So why has the pain only intensified?

It's finally here: my fic for the @star-wars-rebel-minibang!

kanan jarrus/hera syndulla; rating: teen; 5.3k words

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The Sumar Refugee Relief Centre on Lothal was the first of its kind. It had been Sabine’s idea; her way of honouring Ezra’s memory while she watched over his home planet. The Alliance to Restore the Republic had even agreed to sponsor it, viewing a safe haven for anyone fleeing the Empire as both good publicity for the movement and fertile ground for new recruits.

Sabine's enthusiasm – and Mon Mothma's not-so-subtle hints that she'd rather Hera be grounded – had drawn Hera away from the front lines temporarily to help with the final stages of construction and getting the Centre established. Ezra's absence weighed heavily on all their minds as they worked, but they pushed on knowing the project was exactly the kind of thing he'd want to return to on his home planet – if he ever came back.

Attempts to track the Chimaera or trace its trajectory had all failed, much to the disappointment of what remained of the Ghost crew. Sabine kept threatening to set out on her own and wander through Wild Space until she miraculously found him, but she would always talk herself out of going with the reminder that he'd asked her to watch over Lothal for him. The Empire still loomed as a threat to the small Outer Rim world, and she refused to let his sacrifice be for nothing.

For Hera, Ezra wasn't the only person she was thinking of. At seven months pregnant, it was hard not to think about the other man who was missing from her life. She usually tried to avoid letting her mind stray to the new life growing inside her because those thoughts only led to pain, but had become harder and harder as she'd been forced into larger and larger flight suits and out of more and more of her duties.

Even now, when she'd been barred from testing the new electrical generators and had instead been assigned to ferrying medical supplies from the delivery point to the soon-to-open medical centre, she could hardly ignore the way her belly pressed against the handlebar of the hovercart. No amount of denial could change it, just like no amount of wishing could bring Kanan back to her.

Hera continued pushing the hovercart over the large courtyard forming the centre of the new construction. The courtyard covered the area that used to be the Lothal Jedi Temple but was now flat grassland like any other part of the planet. It felt right to centre this new development on it without covering it or its history. This way, it would be preserved.

She knew it was useless to cling to the past like this. The Temple, like Kanan, was gone forever and would never return to her. Yet she couldn't let go of the memories – of Kanan taking Ezra here, of the time he brought her here to talk about his decision to take on an apprentice and how he struggled with it, of all the times they'd been drawn to this planet before either of them had ever known about how significant it would become to them.

There were times when she ached with longing for the moments from those memories. She'd give anything for even a minute of the feeling of Kanan's arms around her, of his breath on her cheek, of his voice in her ear and his blue-green gaze locked onto hers. She wanted it so much she felt like she might break apart from the force of it.

Those were the times she had to take a deep breath and remind herself of the things she still had; what remained of her family and, above all, her fight against the Empire. There was no use in dreaming that things were different, but she could work to make sure no-one else suffered the same losses she had.

She gripped the handlebars of the hovercart a little tighter as she continued on her path across the courtyard.

A slight rumble of the ground caused her to pause in her journey. Groundquakes weren't common on Lothal, but this wasn't the first that day. It was, however, the strongest. She checked on her cargo to make sure it hadn't become unstable and as she did, another, even stronger tremble came from below. It calmed as soon as it had come with no impact on the supplies she was transporting, but once she had righted herself the sight in front of her was not the same as it had been seconds before.

A figure had appeared in the exact centre of the courtyard. It took her brain a few moments to process it; a man, dressed in plain, nondescript robes, short hair neatly trimmed, clean shaven face casting about his surroundings as he took in his new location with bright, blue-green eyes.

Hera could only stare in shock. It was ridiculous to think that the desperate longing she had felt had caused this, but she was struggling to come to terms with how the man she had just been thinking about was suddenly standing in front of her. It couldn’t be anyone other than Kanan – that was his jaw, his hair close-cropped just like the last time she’d seen him, face clean-shaven and eyes… the blue-green eyes she’d seen only once in the last two years.

The last time.

Those eyes landed on her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. How was he here? Was this even real?

"General?"

Her heart clenched. Why was his tone so formal?

He took an uncertain step towards her, his eyes darting down to her belly and back up to her face. "Are you alright?"

This is wrong, a voice in her head whispered . Those eyes she loved so much were missing the angry burn scar that should be running over them from temple to temple. Other scars replaced it: a thick white line that ran from his forehead through an eyebrow to his cheekbone and a thin red one on the other side just above his jawline. His physique was subtly different too; her Kanan was lean and toned but the man before her was heavyset and muscular. It also looked as though he’d never known a food shortage, though maybe it was merely an effect of the several layers of fabric that concealed his body.

"You're not Kanan…" she said slightly unsteadily.

"No…" he said slowly, like it was obvious. "I'm Caleb."

Her breath hitched in her throat. "Caleb Dume."

Continue on AO3 ->

#star wars #star wars rebels #kanera #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #caleb dume #rebels #star wars rebels minibang #kanan x hera #hera x kanan #star wars: rebels #fic #pretchwritta

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sublimepenguinpeach-blog · 11 months

Text

Title It must be nice to be a Grisha. Chapter 1

Nikolai is not introduced in this chapter just to warn you.

She was tired of this… the fold, the darkling (no matter how attractive he is, men who believe that it’s okay to force themselves onto someone even if they say no … all of it. The only thing good that came out of all of this was meeting and becoming friends with Alina Starkov who she met in the Keramzin orphanage. Both my parents were killed by the darkling since they were one of the few people who had the guts to attempt to go through it. There’s no physical proof that they’re are dead but it’s quite obvious they are because I know that they would have came back for me and the likelihood of them not being killed by volcra (the darkling’s beasts that he put there to ensure that no one could ever go back to their old homes). The woman who ran the orphanage didn’t hold a high opinion of me at least that’s what I gathered when she repeatedly called me weird/eccentric with disdain clear in her voice and told one of the other adults saying “you need to watch out for that girl, she’s not like the others.”

flashback to the year, 2005

I remember the day so clearly as if it was only yesterday. I arrived at the orphanage at the age of 5. All of the other orphans gathered together outside to see who was the new unfortunate soul that would have to stay there but they soon lost interest when they noticed that I was shy and had a hard time meeting their eyes as they continued to ask me various questions like “how did your parents die, why are you refusing to look at us in the eye, and are you usually like this?” The only one who never treated me like I was nothing was Alina. Instead one day, she had just came up to me and just talked to me about her old home, including her parents, and the things she knows are happening outside of Keramzin after overhearing one of the adults quietly talk about it or rather thinking that they were talking quietly.

“We must be friends!” You’re about the only person I can talk to about this stuff with besides Mal.”

I nervously laughed at that and agreed with the shake of the hand but she moved my hand away and instead hugged me which was an odd gesture I thought because the only people who ever hugged me at the time were my parents. Alina let go after a minute realizing my uncomfortableness and then rambled on to talk about the next thing that was on her mind. I have a feeling that before coming here, she didn’t get to talk to very many people who were her age unlike me where I always had to attempt to interact with people who were my age because my mom wanted me to improve my social skills and she thought that the best way to do that was drop me off at this daycare every day while she saved lives. My dad and I weren’t close like my mom and I. We frequently fought over everything. Sometimes these fights weren’t so bad just some yelling coming from the both of us mainly him at first. The worst fights were when he would bring up my insecurities which worsened them and he would also say that I was an ungrateful child etc. There were some good moments but I remember more of the bad moments than the good. My mom had told me repeatedly that my dad did love me but I just couldn’t see that since all he would do is criticize me and make fun of my insecurities which makes it seem like he really dislikes me. The last day I saw my dad was a few before leaving with my mother to try to get our old home back. He told me to be good and that they would be back as soon as they can. He kissed my forehead and went out of the door with my mom. My mom briefly turned back her head to look at me and for a brief second I thought I saw tears forming.

A few months after arriving, these men came to evaluate each of us to see if we were Grisha which I suppose I will never know if I am or not because before they called my name, Alina grabbed my hand and ran. “Why are we running?” Are the men really that bad?” I mean they sure at doing very good in the look department, I will tell you that.”

“Y/N, that’s not why we are running. The reason we are running is because I don’t want to be tested.” Alina sighed and stopped running to catch her breath. “Is it because you’re Grisha?” “You know I am sure it’s not a bad thing to be Grisha in fact I bet it’s really cool being a Grisha since you got to have a specific power that you can use whenever you want and the greatest thing about it is that there are others like you who have the same power as you.”

“I am sorry for rambling but you know me, talk first and ask questions later actually scratch that it’s the complete opposite.” “Ask questions first then talk incessantly.”

Y/N, I am afraid that I could be Grisha even the possibility of being one scares me. “Do you know how hated Grisha are by most of the world especially here?!” She runs her fingers through her hair and gently grabs ahold of both of my shoulders. “We must escape because I fear that it won’t just be me who will be taken away but also you because it’s just as likely for you to have powers too.”

A hearty laugh escaped from her mouth. “Oh god, why are you laughing, what did I say now.”

Don’t worry Alina, you didn’t say anything wrong but I do find it funny that you think that there is a huge chance of both of us being Grisha because at the end of the day, I believe that they had it all wrong. You are special, you’re the one people need to keep a watch on and you will be the only person who comes out of here who will you know be something. I just have this feeling that you will, don’t ask me why because frankly I can’t think of a solid answer for that at the moment.”

Alina laughed at that. “Okay then, let’s go back and get this over with. She once again grabs my hand and we are heading back to the direction of the orphanage. Little did Y/N know that she was right, Alina was special.

She’s the sun summoner..

To be continued

#nikolai lantsov x reader #alina x reader friendship #autistic reader

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