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#my friend and i actually recently cosplayed these two
bo-rock-oli · 1 year
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jellyfishdoodler · 1 month
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My Experience in the Cult-Like Cosplay Server Known as BeTraist, ran by CuttyRen and ChubbyArcherz
I've spent about 3 weeks writing this entire statement of my experiences in Ren's server. It's 11k words with well over 65+ screenshots of evidence of abuse and manipulative behavior from the users @/cuttyren and @/archyboi-innes towards myself and SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE including some of their now-ex partners.
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If you know Ren from all of his bullshit on Tiktok and Instagram, then you already have some context of how horrifically he treated his ex, but the TLDR is Ren ran a smear campaign against their ex for about 2 YEARS once he broke up with them.
And beside Ren, there is Archer. Two ex-partners of theirs have recently physically gotten away from their abusive situation under Archer and recently made their own statements, giving me courage to write this one (you can find links to their statements within my own).
I'm begging you all to please take the time to read what I have written if you are a part of the JSE, Markiplier, and SandersSides cosplay communities (Tiktok or otherwise) or communities in general.
This is my story and my perspective of how they treated me and my friends. There is so much awfulness that has happened and I wasn't even one of Ren or Archer's actual targets. I was essentially just in the same room and was still affected by them deeply over the course of over 2 years.
Trigger warnings included in the doc, but please take care and read with caution. There will be discussions of cults, manipulation, gaslighting, adults flirting with minors, su*c*de, and more.
I am laying my story on the table because I want to give the people of these communities a WARNING about these rancid individuals. Please keep each other safe.
Thank you for reading.
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prezine · 23 days
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Announcing: PreZine, a fanzine for the Precure series!
Hello, tumblr!
I don't wanna waste anyone's time, so I'll cut to the chase: I'm trying to put together a Precure fanzine with community contribution. You can find a submission form here, with plenty of detail about what I'm looking for. If you want more detail, keep reading.
My name's Nick, and I'm a huge fan of the Precure series. Each season varies in quality—there are some I love almost completely, some that disappointed me immensely, and a lot somewhere in between. I've watched on my own, introduced friends and family to the show, have the soundtracks on my phone to listen to, I've bought figures and other merch while visiting Japan... I like it a lot.
I've never actually interacted much with the fandom, though. I'm awkward when it comes to joining new communities, and tend to lurk more than I actively contribute. Recently, though, I had an idea. See, I love analyzing things I like. And things I don't like. And Precure is full of both of those things. I've also been mildly interested in webzine culture and the idea of creating some of my own. The writing is fun, and I've wanted to get better at layout work, so doing a little Precure fanzine could be quite a lot of fun!
But... it's not really "interacting" with the community if I'm just writing my own thoughts and throwing them at you, telling you to read them. I'd rather get folks involved! Details can be found further down, but the gist of what I'm doing here is that I want to gather volunteers for a free fanzine I'll be publishing. It might wind up being a single issue, or keep going for some time—we'll just have to see how things go. The zine will be freely available and not behind a paywall, but I will have a ko-fi set up to take donations. Proceeds will go towards paying contributors first, before I touch any part of them. I don't expect a high volume of donations or anything, but whatever I do get I want to go towards the continued success of the project, and that means making an attempt to fairly compensate those who contribute.
To that end, any contribution—whether it be an article, piece of visual media (art, cosplay, etc.), or something else I decide would be a good fit—will provisionally be worth $50. If we get enough donations on Ko-fi to fully pay those tabs, then they will be fully paid. If we get less, then each month I'll divvy up the money based on percentages of contribution, up until (hopefully) all contributors are fully paid.
To be clear, once again: the zine will be completely free, and I have no budget for this at the moment, so any and all payment will be dependent on folks donating us money. I strongly desire to pay every contributor, but at the time being it's best to view this as a volunteer passion project with payment as a distant possibility.
Now, what are we looking for? Well, all of the information below will also be found on the linked form for submission pitches, but...
Articles
I've already written first drafts of two articles, which I've linked as samples down below. What you write doesn't have to be in the same style or vein as mine, but at least that can give you a bit of an idea of what's guaranteed to be included already. Currently, what I'm looking for specifically are:
Characters that have influenced you
Musical analysis
Original Precure fiction
If you have ideas for things not on this list, you can also pitch those within the form.
Visual Media
I have no art at the moment. As this is a zine about a property I do not own, I am absolutely going to avoid using official art. I can decorate with other images I have the rights to, but to give it that actual Precure aesthetic, having visual media submissions would help a lot.
For the time being, I'm looking for:
Drawings
Cosplay photos
As with the articles, you can also pitch stuff not on this list.
Graphic Design
This isn't on the form, but if you've got any graphic design experience... well, you can see by looking at our Twitter or the avatar for this blog that graphic design isn't my passion. I think I do okay when it comes to layouts, but covers/avatars/timeline pics... not so much. PM me, here or on Twitter, if you wanna take a crack at addressing any of our graphic design needs. You will be compensated for your time in the same way as all other contributors.
So, if you're interested in contributing, here is the submission form once again. You can also check out my two samples, found here. They will be edited, so this isn't their final form, but they are roughly what I'm contributing in terms of writing.
And lastly, our Ko-fi can be found here.
If you have any questions I haven't addressed here or in the form, ask away!
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daggersandarrows · 2 years
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i’m having a lot of feelings about seeing more people of color on critical role. i have spent so long both consciously and subconsciously working to appear white. i was raised “white”, i was taught to conform in the exact same breath that i was taught to speak. (quite literally--spanish was not spoken around the house except as a secret; trini slang only comes out when my mother gets very emotionally heightened. i speak like a white person, because for me to learn spanish was for me to “reject the gifts of america”, and people can’t understand my mom unless she adopts her deliberate american accent).
i’ve spent so long learning that this was the only way to acceptance; you pretend to be the same, you take every single microagrression, every single “of course it was two black girls ‘working’ when i got there, standing around and talking no doubt”, every stranger putting a hand in your hair, every “jesus, speak english”, and you pretend you don’t see it, you don’t hear it, you don’t feel it.
you pretend you approve. and that’s the only way to stay safe. that’s the only way to move up in the world. “sticks and stones” was repeated so often in my household that we only needed to hear the first three words to know what mom meant. “sticks and stones”. you’re getting too worked up about racism again, remember, just pretend you’re fine and you will be.
you are invisible, you are fine.
i consume content made only by white people because why would i consume anything else? if my goal is to blend in perfectly why would i look for stories that speak to me about the part of me that i’m doing my damndest to hide?
i made the mistake of stumbling into creators who love themselves enough not to hide. i felt almost betrayed, watching aabria dm for exu. no one ever told me it was possible to sink your teeth into that kind of gentrification-critical worldbuilding, to say it with your whole chest, and not...immediately get ostracized by all your white friends?
(to be clear: i know matt’s doing something very similar in c3, and that’s great. but it is inherently different to say that kind of thing without fear when you’re a poc.)
it’s nothing huge or obvious, but the unapologetic claim that the cast holds on their identity is simply indescribably touching to me. when i was a kid i badly wanted to be “a punk”, and in my mind this was obviously just a white person thing--how could it have been anything else? it was all i saw. super pale skin and stick straight hair was a requirement. so i tried to make myself whiter. staying inside in the summer and spending hours straightening and damaging my hair. i squashed myself into this ill fitting box because it never occurred to me that i could be both black and punk.
and that sort of continued as i got older. cosplays were all model-esque white people. how could i be both hispanic and a cosplayer? how could i be (someone who rode horses, liked video games, was a nerd, a theater kid, hell, someone who fucking enjoyed themself in any way outside of the very specific stereotypes i was given to act out)?
to see aabria dming, playing a high powered and highly emotional woman, mica’s cosplays and her riding adventures--mica playing a literal angel (black angels, guys! how many black angels have you seen outside of the past five years?), aimee playing a character with questionable morals and cool hair, khary playing a disabled character who also somehow just gives off raw sex appeal?, robbie playing a socially awkward, soft, affectionate guy with an appreciation for fancier stuff, erika’s gender fluidity and sheer enthusiasm for everything (getting too excited wasn’t cool, it was too “white”, an actual thing my mother said to me--i know, double standard), anjali’s mixed affection and exasperation as a sibling figure, and more recently lou and luis...i didn’t have this stuff as a kid. i wasn’t allowed to see myself as anything but one dimensional, so i had to alter myself to either fit that one dimension, or pretend to be who i wasn’t so people would accept that i had more than 2-3 emotions and character traits.
i wasn’t aware that it was possible, to be any of this without flattening myself. i wasn’t aware that there were white people out there who wouldn’t immediately hate you for unapologetically existing in their space without squashing yourself into their box.
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otomegamesandme · 2 years
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Otome/Amare Games where you can get the girl
I'm finally making an official rec list of otome/amare games where there is one or more f/f route! This list is also only finished games. Had this on the back-burner for a while due to....life, but let's go!
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Heart Fragment (Book 2) (Book 3;unreleased)
System: PC (steam + itch.io)
Price: Base game; free, Book 2; 2.99
Can you collect all of the fragments, solve the mysteries, and find your way to a happy ending? 
In this mysterious otome game, play as a protagonist (name customizable but "Xani" by default) struggling to cope with the hand life has dealt you. Your mother's death was a tragedy that left you cynical and numb to the world. Now, though, greater challenges are piling up fast - and it all begins when you find out you are not entirely human.
The disappearance of a friend. A sudden attack that leaves you wounded. Mysterious characters entering and leaving your life. Growing bonds. Coming to terms with what exactly "humanity" is...
Please. Find a happy ending. Don't let tragedy be the only option.
[Em note: This is...actually my favorite otome I've played this year and may have become my fav otome of all time. Book 2 just came out and idk, it's burrowed into my soul. I need more people to play this so we can all yell about it and theorize about what's going on.]
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ValiDate: Struggling Singles in your Area
System: PC (steam + itch.io), XBox, Switch
Price: 14.99
Set in the Jercy City area, our cast of lovers trudge through the dregs of capitalism - a journey, a transition - a rite-of-passage that leads into uncertain mid-adulthood. On one side but not yet out on the other, 13 playable characters find romance amongst cosplay, trash mixtapes, and even poetry straight from the soul.
With over 30 routes to choose from and hours of content, the lives of these singles are in your good (or bad!) decision-making hands.
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Pitstop in Purgatory
System: PC (steam + itch.io)
Price: 4.99
Dang, you're dead!
Astrid wakes up in Purgatory and has to make peace with her death. Only problem is… she doesn't remember anything! Point and click your way through adventure-based gameplay mixed with visual novel storytelling, and solve the mystery of our heroine's untimely demise.
[Em Note: Has some point-and-click puzzles, if that's your kind of thing!]
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Lake of Voices
System: PC (itch.io)
Price: Free
Anyone can be saved, but not everyone can be.
Kikka the Steadfast is a sensitive and empathetic woman who uses a mask of stoicism to protect herself from the harsh world she lives in. Much of everything she’s done has been an attempt to find some semblance of security, including the career path she chose to pursue. Kikka works as an official guard for one of the many tiny villages in the region. Her most recent assignment is to travel with fellow guard Bemelle to an allied town that’s been under siege by raiders.
With an ever-present sense of urgency, the two find themselves on the shore of Sinnlos, a cursed lake of black water that is home to the Nixi; twisted creatures who take joy in drowning humans. The two need the assistance of a nameless guide to even attempt to cross the maze of bridges spanning the dark waters. But they are not the only ones seeking passage that night. The guide agrees to lead them all, whilst also giving a warning that a group this large has no chance of making it across whole. Someone will be lost along the way. None of them volunteer to stay behind, regardless. And so the ill-fated journey over the lake of voices begins.
[Em Note: By everyone's beloved GB Patch (maker of Our Life). I really like their previous games, not just this one, and I always recommend people play them, even if they are all a bit different then OL.]
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Witches x Warlocks
System: PC (itch.io + Steam)
Price: Base Game: Free; DLC; 5.99
Seven days until Halloween!
Seven days until the final exams!
Seven days until Fay Nightshade gets booted out of school for being the only witch unable to cast a single spell.
Take control of Fay and help them cram a semester's worth of studying in the last week before the exams!
How many spells can you learn? And will you manage to find Fay a date for the Halloween festivities afterwards?
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The Women of Xal
System: PC (itch.io + steam)
Price: 19.99
The Power of Foresight is On Your Side
You wake up in the universe of Xal alongside Xjena. She came to climb up the dangerous political ladder against other women eying the same, powerful position of Matriarch. But unbeknownst to the world, you two have the power of foresight, and can predict the happenings of the world around you. Help those who need it immediately, or focus on the future and potentially help a wider range of people. The path is yours to walk. Or chuck her into a tragic death run. Players gonna play.
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sapphyreopal5 · 9 months
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Hey! How was the con? I like your photo ops!
I was reading your posts and wanted to ask something. Your guides told you that he is seeing someone else or two else can you tell more about this? I loooove reading your posts a lot and what do you think about Jensen? Everyone says that he's becoming arrogant and asshole.
Hello Anon, thank you for the ask and thank you for the compliments on my photo ops! I will be posting later on hopefully today in more detail about my experience there. I will say this here, I was in the J2 main panel and my lie detector kept going on with the things Jensen was speaking a lot. He mentioned Danneel a lot more than I liked. My question was of course not picked, the Creation Entertainment peeps do and then they prepare answers ahead of time I believe. Random draw my behind ha ha. They certainly picked some lame questions honestly. Heck, I found his response to a question about a book he'd like to revisit to be quite... disappointing. I don't mind if people aren't readers but he went about it quite poorly and made a fool of himself in my book (come on I had to!). I walked out of the con this weekend surprisingly a Drake fan actually. My guides said curiously enough a photo op with Jensen was a tamper (bad) but getting one with Drake was original (good)? I will say this, I felt my mind go very quiet and felt surprisingly... calm in the photo op room with Drake and not nervous like I thought. It somehow felt like this is a big reason why I came here, which sounds weird coming from me ha ha. I didn't win the cosplay costume contest damnit but I got MANY compliments on my Hela costume. I had fun going this weekend :)
I do wish the best for Jensen but really, he made his own bed and gets to lay in it. He said in the main J2 panel himself making the bed every morning has helped make his life better but "has to kick his wife out of bed first" before doing so. I don't hate Jensen and I still like him overall and will still post about him, but I was disappointed in how much effort he puts in to put up a front. He's clearly not happily married but is persistent af with keeping this image up and it's frustrating to say the least. I could barely look his way because I felt so many lies coming out of his mouth. A friend of mine and I both had a similar but strange feeling despite the online speculation was going to sing at the concert at this panel, he wasn't going to. The moment I saw Mark Shepard onstage to play the drums (which he apparently had not done since maybe 2010 and didn't know this until a couple friends told me), I just knew somehow Jensen wasn't coming.
My friend and I both felt like this was somehow related to the criticisms he was getting online about his mustache. She had a "vivid dream" last night where she was listening to J2 talking in a room and she said it's like she could feel them physically. Apparently Jensen was saying to Jared things about if people actually want to meet him or if they just like his looks and how people were being mean about his mustache and other things. Jared ended up saying (paraphrasing here) at one point how "no matter what people say about you, you are an incredible person. I want you to know that." I asked Hermes around 10:30am yesterday if there was any truth to my friend's dream. Hermes did say "YES, lots of it". Then lo and behold they talk about... BULLYING at the gold panel the next morning. Yes he talked about his daughter but why discuss bullying if it wasn't somehow brought up recently like... the night before? Turns out my friend physically dreamwalked for her first time ever (how awesome!!!) to them and that is why she woke up in her bed in the wee hours of the night her time and felt different than she had before...
I stand by what I said, he will eventually divorce Danneel. I've mentioned hints about his soulmate in past posts before. But Anon, here is the thing. The things I know about Earth are very disturbing. There are many frightening, depressing and downright angering truths about Earth. I had this strange feeling based on some reasons I've gotten from my guides I've never written about here that Jensen would technically "meet" his soulmate... but not necessarily end up with her. It was always up in the air as to whether he'd end up being with his real soulmate, or if he would end up settling for someone else or frankly ending up having to kick no one out of bed before making it every morning. From what I know, Jensen did something very bad while dreamwalking over 33 years ago that literally put all of creation at stake while dreamwalking. Who his soulmate is... well she's kind of a big deal but she was never supposed to incarnate here physically and he made it so she was sent to earth, not the Faye realm. By the time this was discovered by deities and other divine blueprinters, it was too late to fix it. Like I said, the things I know and haven't written about before would horrify so many people. This is a redemption lifetime for Jensen, which those do tend to get rough I can definitely say that...
As for the question about if there's 2 someones or just 1 he's seeing, this is what I've been told and based on also what I'm seeing and know. I believe there is someone he met about 5 years ago. However, my feeling about this one is they're being tossed aside and they will part ways at some point. This one I believe is disenchanted with the lies Jensen has told her, and how he seems to just run to her for comfort, company, and is tolerant of his BS with Danneel bc of being enchanted. The other one, well there's more public evidence of this one if you know where to look. I won't directly name her here but I will certainly say this about her: this woman is not step mother material and doesn't want to be. She knows deep down he is not the one and he likes the escape. Frankly, he has too much baggage for a woman who likes a lighthearted, easy going lifestyle where she can pack her bags and go on road trips whenever she wants and not worry about children or whatever to tend to first.
I know this is a long answer, I apologize for the rant but I hope you enjoy my thoughts. Stay tuned, as I'll discuss more about my experience there in another post. Thanks again for the ask!
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My day at StrangerCon.
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Let's just first start with the fact I had an amazing day at German StrangerCon!
I was anxious at first because I was going all alone to a different country, driving an unknown road and to be in a country that I don't even speak the language of.
Luckily I approached someone on TikTok and asked her if we could hang out at the convention. She was going alone as well so she said yes about hanging out with me. To wich I was extremely happy about. The both of us had such a lovely day and she was such a lovely person!
I got there past 8 AM, the event would start at 9 AM, I still had 30 minutes to spare.
Once inside we checked in and exchanged our tickets. We had some trouble with debit as German people really like to pay with cash. But luckily we got a great idea. You could buy some cool stuff at the con and we stumbled across a really cool stand with beautiful artwork of all of our favorite characters. We asked if we could buy some of their artwork and if we could also maybe pay more in exchange for some cash. Turned out the people from the stand had the same nationality as ours so it clicked immediatly. (throughout the day we had these little moments that we would talk)
I bought an artwork of Eddie playing guitar in the upside down and an artwork of Chrissy. I really liked the artwork so I decided for Joseph's autograph to be on the artwork.
My friend and I did the two prop shoots as well. And funnily enough we were cosplaying Eddie and Chrissy. I was Eddie and she was Chrissy. And it wasn't even our intention to match so I though this was really funny. So we had to do the Chrissy wake up pose.
On to the autograph signing, I was really nervous. I was finally going to meet him even if it were just for a few seconds. I have never met anyone "big" as they say in the showbusiness so this was new to me.
I met some lovely people while waiting in line. But once it was my time with him and the autograph the nerves came back all at once. He asked me how I was doing to wich I responded that I was fine but a little nervous. He told me "don't be" in the most loving way.
I gave him my present as well. It was something from my nationality and I explained to him what it was. I also told him I drove for three hours (wich is a lot for a Dutch person) He looked me in the eyes and gave me a nice handshake and said a thank you. I mean I would do anything for this man seriously.
His hands were so soft though.
After that interaction I was going to stand in line for the photo opp with him. My nerves calmed down a little after the autograph signing so I was more at ease now. Once it was my turn I asked for a hug and he gladly accepted the request. And let me tell you. This man gives the best hugs ever.
After that happened I went back to the artwork stand and showed them the autograph. They were so excited to see that Joseph had signed their artwork so they made a picture of it. I also got some discount on a picture frame and they framed the artwork on the spot. That was really nice of them.
(Brett as well but i'll get there in a minute, did I mention this was going to be a long blog story?)
We were all to happy that we had our short but nice moment with Joseph. He was really busy though.
Later we saw him on stage and I got to ask him a question. I am always insecure about what people I adore think of me, so in the end I was quite insecure about my question and interaction with him. But people reassured me that it was a lovely interaction between the two of us.
My question was "I recently graduated as headchef, so I would like to know what you favorite concept of dining is. He said he really likes Italian food and then all of the suddrn he asks me where I work. I was a bit stunned and nervous because he actually showed interest. So I might have become a blubbering mess there and then. but hey can you blame me?
I also had the chance to have a Meet and Greet with Eduardo. My friend and I had little interactions with him throughout the day. Like accidentally bumping in to him or a casual smile and wave.
We got a few minutes late because the thing we went to before was overlapping our current schedule a bit. But Eduardo was totally cool. We apologized numerous times but he said it was fine. This was one the most casual interactions we've had that day. It was like talking to a friend. He was really cool and nice and seriously so humble and laid back.
After the Meet and Greet with Eduardo I moved straight towards my Meet and Greet with Mason. The same morning I had an interaction with him at the entrance. He pointed out our cosplays and I said I made it myself. He was totally baffled about it. The whole interaction was refreshing and to be honest really cute.
Talking with him was really nice, he was a very outgoing person and took time for everyone. Sadly not many people turned up for his Meet and Greet. Wich I thought was a shame because he was so nice.
I first asked him a question that he thought was a really good question and he never had that question asked before. I asked "In the show we see Jason as a bully a "bad guy" but the only thing I see is a person who just doesn't know what's going on in Hawkins and plus his girlfriend just died so ofcourse he would lose his mind over that, so if you could change a scene to humanize Jason a bit, what would you change?"
He responded by saying "The Duffer brothers made Jason to be a character that was meant to be "hated". He said that he wouldn't change some scenes but he he did say he would add a scene. Specifically a scene with him and Chrissy to show the audience how much Jason truly loved Chrissy and maybe that Jason would notice that there was something going on with Chrissy, it would change the perspective on Jason a little more" He really liked my question because it was a question he didn't think of ever getting.
I also asked him what his favorite food was and just like Joseph he likes Italian cuisine. And then he asked me what my favorite food was. I really like it when they ask you something it shows that they truly care.
I said it was Hutspot, for the Dutchies on this platform, you know what I'm talking about. He didn't know what it was so I explained him. He thought it sounded delicious and so I said you should really try it.
Sadly our time together came to and end. And I thanked him for his time.
I ran across the convention for my last "mission" getting an autograph from none other than Hopper (David Harbour).
As soon it was my turn with him and he signed my picture I told him how excited I was for his Christmas movie "Violent Night" and that it was finally not some sappy Hallmark Christmas movie. He lauged at that. I MADE HIM LAUGH!
He wanted to shake my hand but my hand was really cold but he said it was fine.
Then I stood in line for a selfie with Mason and he reconized me from the Meet and Greet. I got a selfie with him and I had a little chat with him again. I asked him how he was doing and that he took breaks and if he had eaten, he said yess. And ofcourse I made a reference to my Hutspot, because why not. He liked it though.
Brett was there as well. At the moment he had no one at his table. My friend and I yelled out his name. And asked if we could get a quick hug. He walked over to us and we said that we love his TikToks. They make no sense and that's why they are so amazing. He thanked us with the biggest bear hug ever. He said thank you and I said "Thank you for excisting" and he said "no, thank you for excisting" And I guess I was feeling cheesy at the moment, but if you know the Debby ryan meme of her putting her hair behind her ear than let me tell that I just did that! He was amused by the sudden action and walked off with the biggest laugh ever.
It was almost the end of StrangerCon and the ending ceremony was happening. After the ending my friend and I decided to walk down to the foyer and maybe we could still see a glimpse of our beloved actors. And yess, Joseph walked down the stairs. We called out for him and this man had the most beautiful smile on his face. He waved at us in the end.
Then after Joseph Eduardo came walking towards us. He reconiged us. Especially because we were the one being late to his Meet and Greet. With had a quick chat and he gave us a fist bump.
That was everything what happend that day And I can honestly day that it was the best day of this year. But what I do know is tjat when I get another chance of meeting the actors I am going again to see them. Especially now that I want an autograph of Joseph on my picture with Joseph.
I met some amazing people that I now have contact with on social media. I am so gratefull to everyone I met that day. The actors, the new friends but also the staff of German StrangerCon. They were all so humble and amazing and took good care our actors.
This was truly a day I would never forget. On to the next Con!! (specifically with my Stranger Things actors).
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transboykirito · 5 days
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stepping back/semi-hiatus
hey guys, i’m gonna be stepping back from the sao fandom (not forever, i’ll answer asks and probably pop back in here and there to share my thoughts when new things come out) — i love you all, i love the connections and friends i’ve met and made here!! but this is what i think is best for me and my mental health right now
this fandom has been one of the biggest defining aspects of my life since i was 15 until now and i’m beyond grateful for the memories, experiences, and people i’ve come to know and love and cherish. i really joined the fandom when a friend of mine asked if i wanted to co-moderate a roleplay blog here on tumblr. i said yes, and that blog became my baby. getting to pretend to be asuna for a brief moment was exciting and challenging, and funnily enough, that’s part of my job now!
that friend then took her own life. i try not to talk about it a lot, i don’t like thinking about it, but she asked me to keep running the blog because it was her pride and joy too. having to leave that blog to escape vile hatred from my ex fiancé killed me, i still hold so many regrets for abandoning something she’d worked so hard on, but that hard decision was necessary or i would have joined her.
i made this blog later on and it became my new favourite blog. i loved meeting people, sharing our ideas, creating a community. i loved spicy micheal, i still cherish him as such a defining representation of this blog and community. i’ll never ever forget how perfect that brief stretch of time here felt.
i was also hurt significantly here, by someone i considered (and, somehow, still consider) family, a brother to me exactly the same way as my brother and step-brothers. then, when i was still recovering from that hurt, his followers harassed me. that harassment has lasted three years and shows absolutely no signs of stopping, even if it’s lessened in quantity in recent days.
but, i don’t want to focus on that. truthfully, that’s not even the main reason why i’m stepping back. i’m simply more interested in other things now — attack on titan, mostly — and i’ve found my motivation to write and edit sao is… like wading through concrete. i’ve promised to finish my fics, but it’s a long and arduous process to actually do when i hate everything i write because the process of making it is so draining for me. and it’s good, ultimately, that i finally have inspiration for something else!! i’m excited to see where my writing goes now, how it evolves, and how i can discover new facets of myself as a writer.
i joined this fandom as a shy 15 year old who was struggling with my gender and sexuality, isolated in homeschool, feeling completely hopeless about my future, and unsure of who i wanted to be. i’m now 20, i’m on t (tentatively because of health issues), i have an incredible girlfriend, i dropped out of highschool but i’m about to start university (business and law!! two degrees!!), i have a job that i absolutely love that i wake up feeling so so incredibly lucky and grateful for the ability to do, and i’ve never been more certain of my plan for my life.
i love this fandom. i love everyone i’ve ever met here, whether we’re still in contact or if we both found new interests and fell out of touch. you’ve all made the last six years a beautifully chaotic, defining period of my life. i’m going to hold these memories dear to my heart forever.
i’ll still be around!! still answering asks and sharing my thoughts when there’s content, or when i can update fics, or when i cosplay — again, sao is part of my job, i’ll always be around to some capacity lol — but for now, i’ll just be a little (or a lot) more quiet. i’ve already stepped back a lot, so this is kind of the same as that.
if you wanna see me more (for some reason) my main blog is @drivemysoul and my attack on titan blog is @meeksjaeger <3 if not, i’ll still be here from time to time when you wanna chat and share thoughts!! i’ll miss you guys <3 we’ll chat when we can.
love love love,
— taylor
ps here’s a missy
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sasslett · 1 year
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Get to know me!
tagged by @elveny, let's see if I can get this done before I have to get out of bed (someone play me the world's smallest violin)
Share your wallpaper: So my PC is set to cycle through my XIV screenshot folder as its wallpaper, so here's my Chromebook (where I do all my writing) and my phone (where I do all my blogging) wallpapers instead!
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A lovely comm from thetictactician on Twitter on my Chromebook!
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and this amazing comm on my phone from Hollycircling on Twitter, I can't believe she indulged me and went this fucking hard but she did this. In a week.
The last song you listened to: Warrior by Beth Crowley (this is such a Jess song tbh)
Currently Reading:  Ok... so... I actually haven't read any sort of published novel since... 2011, with A Storm of Crows I think? So I used to read a shit ton, but it was 11th grade and my friends were like 'You're still reading kids books? Read something for grown ups instead' (I was rereading Percy Jackson at the time, my beloved). So I gave it a try with a 'grown up' fantasy series and... fuck GoT it was awful and I decided if that's what adult literature was like, I didn't want any part of it. So I quit reading entirely.
Last Movie: Bullet Train, months ago. I don't like watching movies - I'm huge into the behind the scenes stuff, cinematography, lighting, direction, costume design etc etc so it makes it hard to watch movies when my brain won't stop analyzing and criticizing everything (honestly modern cinema is so full of people just 'sending it' for the next big paycheck, the heart is just gone). But my husband insisted I watch this one and you know what? It was actually really well made, I was impressed.
Craving: More time. More time to finish these cosplays (Twelve have mercy the con is in a week and a half), more time to write, more time to decompress. Also craving a Chromebook/laptop/portable writing device that doesn't freeze when I type more than 5 letters in a row...
What are you wearing right now: My nightgown! (still in bed) It's got penguins on it and it's fucking adorable.
How tall are you: 5'5, idk what that is in the rest of the world. Americans, y'know.
Piercings: None, but I bought some super cute Ascian earrings last year and I've been really tempted to get my earlobes pierced.
Tattoos: None, not my thing but totally cool for everyone else!
Glasses? Contacts?: Lasik! Totally worth if you can do it.
Last drink: Choccy milk (I am an adult)
Last show: Last narrative-focused show? Uhhhhhh.... I watched the first season of The Walking Dead in 2012 and I legit can't think of anything more recent. I just don't enjoy watching things much, I'd rather be doing something, and I'm such a snob when it comes to screenwriting/characters that most things just don't appeal to me. Other than that the last non-scripted show I watched was Restaurant: Impossible.
Last thing you ate: An oatmeal chocolate chip cookie my sister made last night.
Favourite colour: Wine/burgundy! That deep, dark, blood red with just a hint of purple (in case you couldn't tell since it's the color my WoL wears in every outfit)
Current obsession: FFXIV lol
Unrelated Obsession: Unrelated? I'd say writing but that's kind of related... So, horses? I mean that's just always my obsession.
Any pets: Uh... yeah. I myself have two horses. And then... we have a shit ton of cats. So in 2020 strays kept showing up at our house and then they'd have babies, eventually we managed to catch them all and get them fixed and now some of them have chosen to move in. Shelters are full all across the state, rescues and fosters are full. So now we have... 10 cats that live inside (it's a large house) and then another six/seven that are still feral outside but fixed at least. Nothing much we can do about it, but keeping them inside keeps them safe and saves the wildlife outside, too.
Do you have a crush on anyone: An eternal crush on my husband. He's just amazing. Soft. Adorable. Handsome. Perfect. Goofy. Gorgeous. Smart. Creative. Loving. So many more words. 12 years together in May!
Favourite fictional character: Assuming player characters/WoLs don't count, Elena Fisher from Uncharted. She was the first female character I encountered who was just... normal. Not a token female, not sexualized eye candy, not walking boobs without a personality, she was... a real person, a real character in her own right, whose gender didn't change who she was. And I fell in love with that back in 2007 (I was in middle school then, so it was kind of a big deal for me). She only got better as the years went by, I still love her.
The last place you traveled: Depends on your definition of 'travel'. On a literal sense probably Portland, but since both that and Seattle are practically in my backyard I don't really count those. Other than that, Philadelphia I think, for a wedding.
TAGGING! Oh so many people should do this. Off the top of my head, if you'd like to... @ainyan, @mimble-sparklepudding, @boggleoflight, @tallbluelady, @humblemooncat, @dragoon-mid-jump, @otherworldseekers, @aethericfist and now I'm out of time and have to get ready for work so anyone else who sees this! Sorry I was tagging in a hurry, I know a lot of you are character/RP blogs so feel free to ignore.
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asteria7fics · 2 months
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24 and 25! 💖
-shhh-secret-time
AAAH hi friend!!!
24.) How do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?
I love this question because I’m just now coming out of what has basically been a two-week hibernation, at least writing wise. When I finished my initial run of edits for the project I’m posting next I was feeling absolutely creatively tapped out. Funny how working on the same project for six months will do that to you!
But to actually answer the question, I take lots of breaks. If the words really aren’t coming no matter what I do, and I just feel exhausted I don’t force myself to work on anything. I stop writing for a while, and do something that doesn’t require a lot of thought from that side of my brain. If I still have that creative drive but am struggling with a specific idea/scene, I’ll usually do something else creative to try and get the juices flowing.
If I’m being honest, it takes a lot for me to be totally creatively drained. I’ve always loved making shit, but I don’t have a lot that creatively drains me in my everyday life outside of my hobbies. I joke at work that I’m “50% there 100% of the time” because I’m basically always thinking about my current/next projects, even when I should be doing something else.
25.) Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?
Oh man I have too many!
You goobers obviously know I enjoy drawing, though I stopped for quite a while there. College really killed a part of me that I’m working really hard to bring back! I also sew, both for myself (I cosplay!) and for the dolls that I’ve been collecting for over a decade. Though I’ve fallen out of it recently I do enjoy photography as well! OH! And I crochet, though I’ve only ever made tiny doll-sized items.
Otherwise, I’m a serious gamer girlie (sarcastic, though I do partake occasionally), and I enjoy reading and watching lots and lots of cartoons.
Thank you for the ask!!! ❤(ˆ‿ˆԅ)
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diva-min · 9 months
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Recently, these 2 photos of Jimin and Jungkook re surfaced on the internet a few days ago alongside a friend of theirs. Even though they're pretty old I've decided to leave my thoughts on this.
At first, I was really surprised seeing these 2 photos of Jikook side by side. I mean obviously in the first photo the 2 of them staring at each other while holding hands in front of a heart shaped flower structure gives a romantic atmosphere. However, as I took a closer look at them my delulu side quickly vanished into a black void. THE COLOR OF JUNGKOOK'S BUCKET HAT. It was so obvious that the one in the first photo was a lighter brown then the one in the second.
Now, me being a Jikook shipper came up with 2 possible reasonings on why the color changed. Either one, the lighting being different in both pictures and that's why it appeared to be another color, (jungkook who was farther away from the camera made it look darker) or two Jungkook maybeeeee changed his bucket hat.....;-;
Anyways, I tried my best to look for more things to show that it's Jk and Mimi but I was only able to find one more thing that caught my eye. What I did was to zoom in on their faces to see if their facial features looked familiar. The only one I could actually see was Jimin's. Anddddddd I honestly don't know whether to believe if it's him or not. I'VE BEEN IN THIS FANDOM FOR 3 YEARS ALMOST 4 RECOGNIZING BTS FOR THE SMALLEST LITTLE GLIMPSES OF THEM AND NOW I CAN'T TELL SHIT EVEN WITH JIMIN BEING MY BIAS ALL THIS TIME😭
It's cause in the photo the person is smiling without their teeth. The only visible thing on their face is a line that indicates the mouth and a nose that I tried identifying but COULDN'T. The shadow on his partially almost not even visible face makes it so hard okay??? And also the smile. When I took a look at it I thought it kind of looked off like not Jimin-yk? Yet I'm in between cause I can BARELY even see his face💀 I wish I could find more information on these photos and the dates when they were released but with people reposting and talking about them right now I couldn't get as far as I hoped I would. 🤧
They might be people cosplaying as Jimin and Jungkook since they have the same clothing.
Or: Actually jikook
What do y'all think?
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inkabelledesigns · 1 year
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Hey, been having a pretty rough start to the week, and really, a rough several weeks. Lots going on, lots of dread about the world, honestly just wanna go back to bed. But we're trying to look on the bright side and appreciate the little things. So I'm gonna list some good things that have happened recently and that are coming up so we can psych ourselves up. I find that putting something down on paper or in a place where I can see it makes it easier to embrace and appreciate, makes it more visual.
-Someone left a really sweet comment in the tags of my Gooliope custom. I've noticed a lot of people liking that post, and I love all the kind words in the tags so much. Thank you! She's one of my favorite dolls, and it makes me happy that she sparks joy for more than just me.
-I got to see my middle sister for her spring break. She just left to head back to school, but the time she was here was great. We celebrated my mom's birthday with a lot of great food and laughter, and there were many late night conversations that were fun. It was nice to reconnect.
-I got to play Animal Crossing for the first time and found that I love the fishing in it! It's a really fun game and I want to get back to it soon. I also found the Sanrio Amiibo cards for cheap, and I'm eager to see how they function once I'm a bit farther in.
-I'm slated to go to a convention soon! I can't wait to put my cosplays back on and go to panels. Two really awesome voice actors are going to be there, and I'm gonna try and work up the courage to take photos with other cosplayers. I'm especially excited to see the cosplay performers, I missed that last year but won't be this time!
-Another Splatfest is coming up! I can't wait to play more of Tricolor battles, they're such a good time. Thinking of playing on Team Nessie, but we'll see, depends on what my teammates think. I'm not a competitive player, I just have a group of four that enjoys playing together.
-It's my birthday next week (and also international mermaid day)! I'm not sure how I'm gonna celebrate just yet, but I do want to celebrate. I may ask my mom if we can go out to Goodwill or something during the day, I've wanted to check it out for a long time. I have friends who are streaming that night that I'd like to watch, but I'd also like to make some time for my annual birthday stream that week. Birthdays tend to be a time where you talk to a lot of people who haven't checked in in a while, and while I can get a little overstimulated, I do love having a portion of the night where I get to see a bunch of my friends for some drawing or other art. It's the one time of year where I like being the center of attention, it means getting to decide what I want to do and getting to do it together with the people I love. <3
-My persona doll is closer to done! She has a face, she has hair, she has shoe options that I can paint, she just needs clothes and wings (she's a fairy, and I'm debating how I wanna do them). I have some new clothing patterns that I'm excited to try out for her too. It's so cool to finally have a doll that feels closer to me. I loved drawing a face on G3 Draculaura.
-Dollightful released a new video showing off some of the face sculpts for G3 Monster High dolls, and I'm really excited about that! It got me wanting to customize more of G3, namely Lagoona, I have a great idea for a Shiny Vaporeon doll for her, but we'll have to see if it sticks. It also got me going on collecting resources for customizing G3 dolls, I have a post in my drafts that I wanna share soon that may help other doll customizers out.
-I got to design a character that I absolutely love, and brainstorming about it with my friends has been really fun. It's really pushing me to try more with hair. Been feeling really grateful for my friends in general, both those I talk to daily and the ones I haven't seen in a while. You're all wonderful and I'm so fortunate to have you in my life. <3
-Actually, I'm having a lot of fun all around! I got a great new idea for an AU where Henry is a guardian angel type character to Joey and gets stripped of his powers, so now Susie is watching over him and the studio with a cartoon Alice to show her the ropes, and it's SO FUN! I may have to bring that to my Bendy blog at some point. I'm brimming with ideas and gosh I wish I had more time to do art and audio for it, I'd love to voice some skits with Susie and Alice talking to each other.
-Mario Day passed and I finally got my hands on Bowser's Amiibo (thank you little sister for helping me out). I haven't collected Amiibo in a long time, but the siblings and I used to, and this is one we missed. I look forward to training him in Smash Bros. It'd be fun to pit him against Leg Day (Wii Fit Trainer) and Knave (Sonic).
-Been having a lot of fun at the Streamily Livestreams with the Bendy voice cast, lots of really funny fandom memes have come out of those and it's great. They never fail to make me smile. Been having a lot of fun at the ShazzandBoo Pokemon Livestreams too, what an absolute treat those have been!
Yeah, maybe life isn't so bad. There are a lot of things stressing me out, but there's so much to look forward to and enjoy, and those are the moments I'm gonna live for. Life is too short to let it keep you down, so we're gonna do our best and make it through!
Here's sending all of you the good vibes for a great Tuesday, a great week, and a great rest of March! Love you so much!
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0-scorch-the-earth-0 · 3 months
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Ooo you’re rewriting Recalibrate?
Kinda!
Essentially, yes, but it’s not the same recalibrate from before. I’m currently working on making a slightly new title, like “Recalibrated” or “Recalibrate Me”. I want to make the fanfic I originally intended to set out to make. A story of love, grief, and the power of growing with someone by your side.
I have a good description of what exactly I’m doing with recalibrate in a recent update of the fanfic. I’ll just copy paste what’s there and put it here for y’all to see 💕💕
Also, I was rewriting Recalibrate chapter by chapter there for a little while before I got too overwhelmed. It’s rewritten up to chapter 6, with better writing and some added scenes, so I highly suggest checking that out!!!
Also also, I wrote a preface to my notes release (which will make sense after reading what is below). It felt like a very important message, so I’ll copy that too.
The update I posted in Recalibrate:
Hey there, all!
It’s been… QUITE awhile since an update. I hope this email finds you all well <3
I’m unsure how many times I’m going to make this apology. It certainly has been too many times to count. But I’ll give it anyway; I’m sorry for disappearing on this story yet again. It’s both unfair to my unwavering readers and to my characters themselves.
I could make the excuse that life has been crazy. Which in all fairness, it has. I got engaged to the person I wrote about in an update so long ago (we’ve been together for over 5 years now!), we bought our first house, I got a stable job at a library, I’ve become way more invested in my cosplaying, I’ve made tons of friends, and I’m just generally more happy now than I ever was before! Which I guess brings me to my next talking point?
I wrote Recalibrate during a time in my life where there was a lot going wrong. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about what I was going through, but it’s safe to say a lot of it came out in my writing. I was mentally unhappy, my parents controlled every aspect of my life (I was writing and posting Recalibrate in secret, as there was a strict “no technology” rule for me in my household growing up), and the only relationship I was allowed to have (straight!) at the time quickly became toxic and made me feel unworthy to be living. I’m sure some of that bled through into the plot of Recalibrate. That coupled with my immaturity meant there were a lot of things both added and missed in the story that didn’t aid it.
For example, the seamless set-up of Zane coming to terms with his artificialness as being something to respect and accept about himself would have led to some powerful character development, but instead I chose to have an ending where he gets magic-ed into being human. Doesn’t make sense to what Zane’s character needed to learn about himself as I know it to be now. And it was also a clear attempt to give myself an example of someone who successfully does not deal with their internal issues and just waits for enough self-sacrifice to happen before they are free of what ailed them without doing any introspection on their self-loathing :D And then for some reason, I also felt the necessity to add a big bad (Morro) into the story, and I distinctly remember thinking “well all good stories have a big bad, so I have to”, not comprehending that sometimes, a story can just be about two characters having issues and growing together. These are just tiny details of what I’m talking about. That’s not even bringing about that my romance writing was, looking back on it, stunted and skittish. Unrealistic. But I can’t blame my younger self. I never knew what an actual relationship, with real attraction and love and trust, looked like until I started living on my own and met my now-fiancé. Back then, I was just trying to do what everyone else was, not realizing until later that I’m not broken and that I literally was just a gay kid trying to pretend at being straight.
This is all to say that, this morning I woke up with a sore throat and sniffles, 5 days before my 25th birthday, saw some anonymous person had left kudos on Recalibrate, and decided to figure out what had really gone wrong in my motivation and love for this story (after chugging DayQuil of course).
You might not like what I have in mind for this story.
A lot of you loved Morro, and I’ll admit I loved my characterization of him and Archer and Bansha. I liked the lore I created for them and the dynamic the trio quickly settled itself into. But everytime I went to continue the rewrite for Recalibrate, this huge plot that I had devised as a 14 year old child would stare me down and make the task feel virtually impossible. I mean, I didn’t even get half way through my planned story, and that was before I started rewriting and adding even more things.
My plans were ambitious. And they were made without knowing myself, my limits, my desires; they were made without relying on my strengths as a writer. I was trying to do what everyone else did, and I wasn’t aware yet that my best writing has always come from character focused introspection and slowly budding romance, not from action or complicated puzzle-like plots.
So, I’m thinking about getting rid of the Morro stuff. I wrote such an idea in a rewrite note back in 2021. In fact, that was the last thing I wrote, before I likely became too heartbroken or too worried about disappointing you all that I didn’t reopen my notes document until today. But in order to deliver a story that I have promised for over a decade, I think I know what needs to be done.
I have notes, so many notes, on what the story would’ve been. Sometimes, when I’d lost hope that I could ever finish the story, I’d think about posting all those notes here for all of you as a declaration of me ending my long hiatus with one last “sorry”.
But I owe younger me more than that. I owe you all more than that. I owe the fandom that raised me more than that. And I’ll be honest when I say I don’t think younger me would’ve been all too upset about me scrapping the large plot I gave myself. After all, this fic was only originally supposed to be an explanation as to what happened to Dr. Julien, written before I even shipped Glacier.
If you mourn the old Recalibrate and the plot an on-the-whole different person made, I’m deeply sorry. If seeing the notes of all that would’ve occurred in the old plot would ease your grief, please let me know. As it is currently, I’m contemplating making another A03 fic as an archive with the chapters I will be deleting, as well as with the notes that would’ve carried me to the end, had I been built for writing extensive plots. Let me know if that interests you.
From here on out, I want to write the story I intended. I want to write the story that my heart wants to write, instead of the story my brain thinks people want. These characters have been banging on my ribcage for ages, begging to be let out and finally be written to an end. I will try my best to listen to them. I hope you all will still want to journey with me.
Thank you all <3
-Matty
The Preface I posted in Ao3 along with my first revealed notes:
In creating a closure to my original Recalibrate story, I’ve decided my first entry to be on the most vital page of my notes, of which I referenced more than any other page. The “End Goals” page, I called it. This page was written on 1/20/16, which was 17 days after I posted the first chapter on FanFiction.net (A fun factoid, which I am unsure how many of you know: I was posting Recalibrate almost a whole year before moving it over to Archive of Our Own. I didn’t know about Ao3 at the time, mainly because I wasn’t even allowed to be on the internet, and barely had enough time to sneak a post on ffn, let alone research other sites I could share my story to).
The end goals served as a road map for me, the writer. And for you, the reader, I assume they serve as somewhat of a table of contents for the updates ahead. A taste of where the story was going, and where it was to end up. For some of you, this very broad summary that follows below may be all you need to sate your curiosity. It gives no exact details. No play by play. Some of you may appreciate that more. If so, I’m glad to satiate you. But for those of you who wanted to know the specific details, the “who dies”, the “how”, I will be making further updates that include chapter specific notes, overarching plot notes, and even a map I drew (if I can figure out how to attach images to Ao3 chapters, that is).
For those of you who wish to keep the story forever a mystery, I appreciate that just as equally. But I suggest you should stop reading soon, then, because for all intents and purposes, we are now entering spoiler territory. If you can even call it that.
However you wish to consume the following content, I want to thank all of you. The comments, the kudos, the support, the dms on Insta and Tumblr; it has been everything to me. I never forget each person who has reached out to me saying I got them through hard times, sometimes that I saved their life. That my writing is their nostalgia, their safe space. I can never express how deeply impacted I am that my writing had such a profound meaning to many of my readers. And, of course, beyond. I remember, way back in the day, the author of then-not-written Chips and Salsa reaching out to me and saying they were inspired by Recalibrate in some way, shape, or form to begin writing a Glacier Fanfic. Which then became the most prolific fanfic of glaciershipping in probably the history of glaciershipping.
My impact has been greater than any scope I could have possibly imagined. I will never, ever take that for granted. I’m so grateful for the role I have been able to play in your lives. I hope, of course, that you may join me on my next journey. But if not, if this is where we part, I just wanted to remind you how special you are. How much you matter. And how grateful I am for your presence in this world, and the small slice of your life that you offered to me in spending your time to read my story, and to read this.
Remember: Ninja. Never. Quit. <3
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eggsbenedictinurmom · 5 months
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Recently I had a thought.
I love the Minecraft Warden, my overhated baby. And I love Wally, my most likely traumatized baby. And so, by all known laws of my brain, they are now required to fuse like gems from Steven Universe.
Ok so hear me out rq. Welcome Home used to be a normal kid's show, right? Everything's probably the same as the start of the OG timeline, really. The puppets also interact with the Playfellow Workshop employees MFN-style, as in: nobody fucking cares about the fact their sentient there and it's treated like it's completely normal.
But then, an accident happened in 1974. Pretty vague about what actually happened, because nobody ever documented it (or rather, the documentation never left the workshop, so nobody knew about it), but the only apparent thing is that there was death involved. A LOT of death. Like, almost the entire team of the Playfellow Workshop died, probably.
The immense soul power of the murdered managed to crack into the puppet world thanks to Home, who in this case is sorta headcannoned(?) to be a gateway between the two worlds. They fused with the void (the thing many people call "So Below") under it, creating a hivemind of sorts, y'know, like sculk from Minecraft, and immediately grew all over Home. it also ripped the fabric of the universe causing the world of minecraft to merge with the neighborhood but pretend not to know that so that you can act surprised later-
The sculk only has one goal: protect Home so that nothing can pass through into the muppets x minecraft crossover world, because we all know that if the millionaires find out about a dimension that stretches into infinity and where you can literally duplicate resources, they're gonna colonize the everloving disc 5 fuck-ment out of it, and that's obviously bad.
But Home wasn't a good enough host. It needed a more mobile catalyst to ensure the world's safety. And since Wally was sticking to Home like slime to my mother's beloved silver blanket thanks to his empathy for it, the sculk "decided" to infect him, unintentionally breaking the structure of his eyes and permanently blinding him in the process.
Wally, however, was not worried about this. With his naive nature, he simply saw the sculk as a new neighbor, albeit a bit peculiar one. This made him very cooperative, which, I gotta agree, was a great "choice" for the sculk in the end, as he, too, wanted to protect Home after what happened.
Through time, the sculk managed to crack through Home into the human world workshop, setting up something in the sort of shriekers to alert it of oncoming danger to Home. But it had no interest in leaving the vicinity of the building, of course, so it still stays inside, the people outside being completely unaware of what's going on in the workshop and simply taking it as abandoned and occasionally making creepypastas about it on the internet. Some stupid teenagers sometimes go inside thanks to a dare and obviously end up dying, which kinds sucks, but hey, they sorta deserve it.
You see what I'm getting at? Insanely OP creature, protecting a maybe-portal with the help of the tortured souls of the dead??
Reference picture that I'll probably remake + some fun facties:
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(If a single person "exploits" the fact most of his clothes are torn off him on despite the fact he's a literal semi-corpse puppet that is only strung together by the power of the undead and gets constantly sunk in and out of a state of disassemblence I will gulp down a comically large canister of gasoline in one go on a tiktok stream while my friend makes dangitgrandpa cosplay poses in the background every time someone gives me a rose)
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I will 100% make the rest of the neighbors other Minecraft mobs btw if you couldn't tell
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ectonurites · 1 year
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sad rambling don't mind me
The passage of time just doesn’t feel real, man. Alaska would have turned 24 today. The last time I can distinctly remember seeing her alive she was newly 15.
It’s just this weird thing of like, yeah, I don’t think about it all the time anymore, not the way I did when it was really recent, but little things do still remind me of her. I can’t believe how close it’s getting to a decade since she's been gone. 
It came up when Emme and I were talking about her a few weeks ago, but at the time she felt so grown up to us. I was a year older than her, but back then she managed to feel so mature regardless. She would nerd out with us (The last time we actually hung out was at the con the college in our town used to hold), but she also did all these grown-up things with people we didn't know—she'd tell us stories about it all though, she just seemed so cool. But god, she was a kid. A kid! Just a kid. She was 15. She was a kid. We all were kids.
So much of high school is honestly just a blur when I think back to it now, but things related to this are so distinct it's kinda scary.
Like, it’s been nearly 9 years! But I can still remember the exact seat in Jenny’s 1st period mechanical physics class I was sitting in when that first announcement about her attempt and coma went out over the loud speaker, it didn’t use her name or anything but just alerted everyone at the school that this had happened to a student. I already knew, I'd known for a few days, and I knew the announcement was probably going to happen that day, so it wasn’t a surprise. Our other friend got to stay home, but I had too many absences so my mom wouldn’t let me. I was in a class of mostly upperclassmen (only three of us were in my grade, nobody in Alaska's), and no one else in the room knew her or at least seemed to know this was about her, it was just whispers and speculation and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I broke down in tears in front of my math teacher the following period when he asked me about the homework I hadn't done and in hindsight it was almost kinda funny, because he just did not know what to do. 
I remember sitting at Lily's house on the couch with her and Emme—having a sleepover to work on cosplay because that's what we did back then—when Lily's mom came home in the middle of the night and we knew something was wrong. And we got told the news that she'd passed a few hours earlier.
I remember on the first birthday after she passed, Emme and I went to the park across the street from the high school to let go of balloons. It had snowed recently, but we wanted to be in the center of the park, because otherwise they'd get stuck in the trees, so we trekked our way out there and laid on our jackets in the freezing cold and laughed and talked and cried.
I don’t know. I don’t know where I'm going with any of this, or what I’m trying to say. It's just like, time is supposed to make these things feel easier, and in a way I guess it does, but my brain just gets so focused on dates and anniversaries so every year when this day and the day she died roll around I still get hit with so much all at once.
(the anniversary of the day she died was particularly rough this past year because it was the same day Stranger Things Vol. 2 dropped and I went to a watch party thinking 'oh cool it'll be fun to watch this thing I like with my friends as a distraction' and promptly got punched in the fucking gut by what happened with Max, the hospital scene towards the end sent me spiraling for hours)
Anyways.
Happy Birthday, Alaska. I met you on a Tuesday afternoon in late August at the park I roller skate at now, two days after me and my mom finally called the cops on my dad and everything in my life changed. You were the first new friend I made after all that. I didn't get to know you for a long time, but you’re still on my mind even after all these years. I miss you. Happy Birthday. 
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transboykirito · 1 year
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(regarding my inbox)
okay, i hate making posts like this, it makes me feel gross and i hate upsetting people with this stuff, but today i'm truly eight thousand miles beyond my breaking point.
the mess in my inbox, constantly accusing me of copying and stealing from aj @thegayfromrulid, needs to stop. it's borderline harassment at this point. and neither of us are okay with it. every single time i post a fic - or even an edit, or a cosplay!! - i receive anons telling me that i stole the idea from aj. regardless of the idea, regardless of the form, regardless of my own inspirations.
this has been happening for nearly two years now. it started during pride week of 2021, which is why i didn't upload for every prompt that year. it happened to coincide with a time when aj and i weren't talking, though i'm not sure if the anon(s) knew that, and i didn't want to reply and start drama, nor did i want to outstay my welcome in the event.
since then, there have been pauses, but it always starts again. my band au is apparently copying his, more than just a fling and don't want to miss a thing are apparently copies of rosebud (despite having very little in common aside from being gay family fics), perfectly imperfect is apparently copying one of his sugulis oneshots - me writing sugulis in general is apparently copying aj, despite the fact aj literally said his first sugulis fic was inspired by one i'd previously written!!
i actually deleted a oneshot i write about kazuto and suguha, where i poured a lot of my own personal feelings into it - a lot of my bpd sugu content is incredibly personal in this way. i love sugu and kazuto's relationship (not romantic) because it makes me feel so understood and less alone. someone made the connection that this oneshot had been inspired by conversations between myself and aj and our relationship, and the asks i received were so nauseating i won't even bother vaguely describing what they contained. and still, i didn't want to humiliate myself posting it, and i didn't want to start drama, so i deleted the ask and tried to move on - i didn't sleep until three that morning, and was violently ill with ptsd terrors triggered by the ask i'd received. i deleted the oneshot the next day.
today i reached my breaking point, when an anon accused me of stealing an update to both don't want to miss a thing and other shades of blue. both of those updates were incredibly personal to me. i recently suffered a miscarriage that has been harrowing and nearly impossible to cope with, and so i included those fears in don't want to miss a thing. other shades of blue is entirely inspired by a relationship i lived through and (barely) survived, with my ex-fiance. things in that fic are altered and dramatised for the sake of fiction, but the core of the story is my own experience.
aj and i are both writers. we both want to see people write their stories and share their stories. no two people will have the exact same interpretation of a scene, character or series, nor will two people have the exact same words to express those thoughts. it's part of what makes fandom enjoyable and beautiful - seeing the same characters a million different ways under a thousand different lights.
aj is someone i've always held an immense amount of respect for, as a person, as a writer and as a friend. i continue to love and support his fics as i can, but ironically enough, i don't read that much fanfic these days - half of the things i'm being accused of plagiarising are being first introduced to me by those accusations.
this has also extended to saying i'm vague posting about aj, or implying that i'm spiteful towards him in my posts. aj and i disagree on things (these days, it's usually the anime adaption, progressive and mito) but i would never go as low as to make hateful posts about someone i consider a friend, especially over a fucking ANIME. i've received rape and death threats from people saying they hope i'm sexually assaulted by a mito cosplayer or a eugeo cosplayer, or even an ENTIRE FUCKING FANFICTION in my inbox graphically describing the idea of multiple people i consider friends in this fandom assaulting and murdering me. i need you to understand how fucking detached from reality you have to be to write that kind of thing, because you can "justify" it by accusing me of copying fanfiction, or because i dislike a character and you perceive that to be an insult to a blogger you, in all likelihood, do not know nearly as well as you like to think you do.
i am begging, begging you, whoever you are, please stop. you can support him, you can dislike me, i honestly don't care - i do actually, i care entirely too much, but one person or one group disliking me quietly is far preferable to the abuse i receive in my inbox on a weekly basis. please. stop.
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