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baldursgate3tempobsessed · 7 months

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Please let Astarion meet Tav's family and have a younger sibling like 6 be like im gonna marry the prince points at Astarion.

Tav : Sorry, im married to the prince

NO IM GONNA MARRY THE PRINCE

That's so fucking cute kill me. But I just realized AFTER I finished it I read this wrong 😭😭 I read it as "marry" instead of "married" so whoops now it's an asking for your hand in marriage fic.

Also, I'm going to make this a weird little, unofficial, alternate reality, off shoot of this fic to explain away why Astarion can be in the sun without ascending because I am ~lazy~

Quick summary if you didn't read it, Tav serves Selune, gets a blessing for all the good work, and uses it to cure the anti-light issue of the vampirism (but not all of it). It's not a literal extension of that fic but I'm stealing my own plot explanations. That's it! Now here we go:

Astarion wasn't nervous per se. He was just... on edge. And the two-week journey it took to get here wasn't helping things, not when it gave him so much time to ruminate in his thoughts. He never expected to be in the position of "meeting the family," let alone in anticipation for asking for someone's hand in marriage.

Astarion wasn't even quite sure how his life got here. He had always fantasized that a life without Cazador would be one of selfish hedonism, not one where he would be legitimately concerned about a damn six year old sibling's first impression of him.

But then you came along, effortlessly shattering all of his grandiose plans with a batt of your eyelashes. Perhaps the entire journey of falling in love was more complicated, but it felt like it was that simple. In hindsight, he never stood a chance against you, but it was hilarious that there was a time he ever thought he did.

All of his prior dreams and fantasies felt like nothing in comparison to just being with you. It had been a year since you both saved the Sword Coast, a beautiful, fantastic year. That had ended with him somehow more in love with you now than when he first confessed. Selune's blessing had certainly helped with that he was sure. He still couldn't quite believe that you would use a god's blessing on him of all people, but gods, was he appreciative. Because being able to walk in the sun again meant that he could live the life he wanted, with no restrictions. He could be the partner you deserved, the kind that a father would happily say yes to when asking for your hand.

Which brought him back to his current dilemma. Perhaps he hadn't seen any of your family members in the time you'd been together, but he had heard plenty. You loved them all to death, especially your little sister. You wrote to them constantly, the mere sight of a letter from your parents enough to put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. He was aware that your mother was supposedly a saint, a fact that your own father had instilled in you often. He knew that they had a wonderful, loving marriage and were both higher ups in the Church of Selune. A fact that Astarion didn't particularly enjoy.

As grateful to the moon goddess as he was, he was aware that you were an expectation to the very normal belief that vampires were bad. And that marrying one was one of the stupidest things you could ever do from an average person's perspective, let alone a Selunite.

Why you hadn't done the smart thing and lied about what he was, Astarion would never know. But he did know that the thought of their rejection over his admittedly sordid history was putting him in a tailspin.

"They're going to love you," You said for the hundredth time, giving his hand a squeeze as you led him up the steps to your childhood home, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart. I promise."

Astarion highly doubted that, but you were already knocking on the front door before he had a chance to argue. The door instantly slammed open, a beaming child already launching themselves at you before Astarion could process what was happening.

But you were more prepared them he was. You effortlessly caught them in your arms, laughing at their excited shouting, "Titi! You're late!"

So this was the famous Arabeth.

"No, I'm not!" You laughed as you settled her on your hip, "And what happened to my little girl's manners huh? You haven't even introduced yourself yet."

The child glanced over at him, like she was just realizing for the first time that someone else was standing over there. She looked a little shocked at the sight of him, staring at him with wide eyes. Wide enough for Astarion to start to wonder if something was on his face.

He gave her a little wave only for her to bury her face into your shoulder, peeking out at him with her lips pursed. Which was not the best start to the whole making his darling's family actually like him plan.

"Well, as you've probably guessed this is Arabeth. She's just a little shy," You reassured as you stepped inside, muttering a quick invitation inside under your breath. He appreciated that, he didn't need the whole house to be reminded of his... limitations.

"But she'll get over it soon enough," You continued as you called into the house, "Mom? Dad? We're here!"

And just like that they were rushing into the room, acting just as excited as your sister had been. Your mother wasted no time in smothering your face with kisses while your father swept you up into a hug. It was a rather impressive display of coordination, considering how they hadn't managed to knock you and your sister to the floor in the process. Astarion was pretty sure they were both saying something along the lines of We missed you! But it was hard to tell with all of you so tangled up in each other.

It was heartwarming to see, in all honestly. Of course such a loving person would come from an equally loving family, what else would he expect?

Though he certainly hadn't been expecting for your mother to throw her arms around him next. She brought him into a tight hug before looking him up and down, "So you're Astarion huh?"

She turned back to you, grinning ear to ear with her hands set on Astarion's shoulders, "He's so handsome! Selune help us, do you remember the last boy you brought home? He had a nose the length of my arm-"

"And that's enough of that," You said with a strained laugh, pulling your eccentric mother back a few inches, "And we've talked about the impromptu hugs. What happened to asking for permission?"

"Sorry, sorry!" She said with a wave of her hand, "Let me try again. I'm Seliras, and this is my husband-"

"Marcoul," Your father interrupted, putting his hand out for Astarion to shake, "It's been awhile since we've met a boyfriend."

"He's a little more than that," You said with a sigh as everyone exchanged pleasantries.

"We'll be the judge of that," Marcoul said with a sharp but friendly grin, the grip he had on Astarion's hand briefly tightening before he let go, "From what we've heard, you're quite the character aren't you?"

Ah, so the interrogating was starting early then. It was nothing that Astarion hadn't expected. Besides, turning up the charm was his strong suit, even when he was uncharacteristically nervous.

Astarion smiled back at him, "You've heard right. And I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have."

"Oh gods please don't say that," You groaned, but it was too late. Your parents were already leading him to sit, rapid-fire questions coming out of their mouth.

Where are you from? How did you meet? Are you serious about our Tav? What's your religion? Where's your family? What are your plans?

But Astarion answered them all, with only mild censorship for the child's sake. The child who suddenly couldn't stop staring at him. It wasn't exactly easy to sell himself as a future husband when he was a vampiric ex-slave, but he made do.

It was an overwhelming experience to say the least, but not necessarily an unpleasant one. That was one good thing about trying to marry into a family of zealots, it was a lot easier to convince them of your virtue when you received a personal blessing from their goddess.

By the end of the night, they were all throughly appeased, enough so to get off the topic of him for a moment.

"You look a little young to have a thirty-year old child," Astarion said to your mother. He was actively trying to compliment her for obvious reasons, but he was also genuinely curious. She barely looked a day over 40.

"Oh we breed young," She said with a laugh, "We had Tav in our teenage years. Arabeth came much, much later. Our favorite little surprise. Gods, I can't think of a single person in our family who didn't have kids young. Our little Tav is the only exception to the rule."

"But maybe not for much longer, huh?" Marcoul added with a grin, yelping when you lightly smacked him over the head for the comment.

"Do not start the kid talk again!" You hissed out, cheeks red, "We've talked about this!"

Astarion couldn't help but grin at your reaction, charmed by your embarrassment. Though... the idea of the two of you having children together sure was an interesting thought.

Astarion felt a tug on his sleeve while you were distracted arguing with your parents. He turned, smiling when he saw your little sister standing there, still staring at him with wide-eyes.

She took a deep breath before blurting out, "You look like a prince. Are you?"

"Not exactly," Astarion said with a small laugh. That couldn't be further from the truth, "There's no blue blood in my veins."

She frowned, cocking her head at him like he wasn't making any sense. But then an idea obviously struck her as she excitedly asked, "But if you married a princess, then you'd become a prince too. Right?"

"I suppose?" Astarion answered with a shrug.

"So if I become a princess, and I marry you, then you'll be a prince?"

This conversation was quickly becoming out of his depth. But luckily enough for him you were swooping in to save him.

You laughed at her question, turning your attention back to the two of them, "No offense Bethy, but I'm going to be the one marrying this particular prince."

But Arabeth wasn't having it. She crossed her arms, looking at you like she was the one talking to a child, "You can't. Because if I don't marry him, he won't be a prince. So there. I have to do it."

She looked so serious, her facial expressions incredibly similar to your own. Astarion was holding back a loud laugh as you tried and failed to reason with her, "I can marry him without the royal status-"

"No! I'm marrying the prince!"

Your parents were doing a much worse job at hiding their reactions, both of them opening giggling behind their hands as you came up with a compromise.

"Okay, okay," You said with a sigh, kneeling down to look the small girl in the eye, "How about this? I marry him first. But only until you become a princess. Then he's all yours. Sound fair?"

She thought about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "Sounds fair."

Well Astarion wasn't going to get a better set-up then that. He turned to your father, his nerves coming back for a brief appearance, "I'm assuming now might be a good time to ask what I came here to ask. Though I do promise I only intending on asking for one of your children's hand in marriage."

Marcoul nodded slowly, his face unreadable as he spoke, "I mean no offense when I say this Astarion, but you aren't exactly who I imagined for my daughter."

"Dad don't-"

"Darling, let him finish," Astarion gently interrupted, his eyes still locked with your father's.

He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That said, I've never seen her so... herself with someone else before. So yes. The two of you can marry. On one condition."

"Anything," Astarion said instantly, nearly giddy at the fact that he was so close to the official yes, "Just name it."

"You have to have the wedding here," Seliras answered for him, a massive smile on her face, "No ifs, ands, or buts."

"And I get to be flower girl!" Arabeth chimed in, her past indignation completely forgotten as she climbed all over you, "And there has to be chocolate cake!"

"Oh gods, help us," You groaned, but Astarion was already nodding along. He couldn't give less than two shits where it happened or who was involved. He could scarcely believe that it was happening at all. But that was the last thing he had needed.

He already had the ring, the most amazing person he could ever fathom being with. Who actually wanted him back.

Now all he had to do was ask.

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jolynesmom · 30 days

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Hey, I’m really sorry to dump this onto you. I really apologize. I don’t know who to talk about this anymore.

I’m 26. Struggling with the void state. I basically messed up my entire life and career and I only found out of the void state like 8 months ago. But I find myself getting so frustrated.

I know it’s easy and it’s basically us. But I can’t seem to grasp this and achieve it. Do you have any tips about this please?

hiya, you really don’t need to apologize! I totally get you and it can take some pressure off when you talk out your worries;

I understand where your frustration comes from, it took me 4 years to finally get any results in my journey, I was just so desperate to get out of here I kept persevering even when I felt like giving up

I don’t know if you want to use the void state to shift or manifest something here but let me tell you something!!

even if it takes you 10 years to get your desires, after you get them, those years will feel so insignificant and short lived compared to the life you live after

why does it matter you messed up your life and career when you can fix everything overnight? the 3D be damned, it’s so irrelevant I literally just laugh when I think how powerless it is compared to me or you

I suggest you take a step back and relax. find the source of your frustrations and address it. treat everything with indifference and keep persisting. even with not entering the void yet, you can manifest a better life here and now. when something negative comes my way i manifest it away immediately, I don’t stay sad or stressed for more than 10 minutes. even if I fail entering the void or shifting, I remind myself I have all the time in the world to achieve it

entertaining the void is very easy: you just need an alternate state of consciousness (hypnogogia, lucid dreaming, sats etc) and intention. you don’t even need to have a positive mindset or fully believe it. if you’ve read my post on how to I entered the void, I mentioned how I didn’t think I can enter the void without doing yoga nidra then entered it a few minutes later because I simply wanted to get into the void

your thoughts create your reality. just state what you want, keep persisting and watch how your desires come to you

repetition and persistence are the keys; you don't have to fully believe the things you want to manifest, you just have to persist with the new thought

if you desire something, just immerse yourself in the idea that it's already yours in your imagination. affirm it, feel it, and don't let the current reality bother you. focus on your imagined reality (4D), persist in it, and over time, your outer reality (3D) will align with what you've imagined. that's when your desires come to life

here is some advice I can give regarding the void and manifesting, but I’ll also link some posts I hope you’ll find useful:

—the void state is nothing special, it’s just a deep meditative state just like when you zoom out in class and can’t hear, see or feel anything

—meditate; find a meditation you find comfortable doing and do it any time you can (I suggest doing it at least one time per day, especially in the morning). I like doing wim hof breathing method and listening to white, pink and brown noise. you can also use guided meditations on youtube. meditation can help you also release stress

—affirm daily for your desires. even if you get negative thoughts, ignore them and continue affirming

—be delusion regarding your desires. even if it feels icky at the beginning, keep on persisting

—if you can lucid dream use it to get into the void. it’s so easy and quick

links:

—cici’s meditation guide for beginners

—the void state is easy

—jani’s law of assumption guide

—the best and fastest way to manifest

—enter the void on command by turning off your left brain side

—lucid dreaming guide

—void method: wake back to bed

—void method: pink hof breathing method

—void method: distraction method

—void method: lullaby method

—meditations to enter the void state

I wish you the best!! I hope only positive things come your way from now on 🤍

#reality shifting #law of assumption #void state #void #loa #loa tumblr #void concept #void advice

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ishouldgetadiary · 8 months

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there are definitely cleverer people to discuss this at length than me and there are probably people who already have and come to the same or better conclusions, but i do just want to say that an aspect of kim kitsuragi i can't get over is his disconnect from being seolite (outside of the racism). i don't know, it's very important to have asian characters with strong cultural ties who have that culture accurately expressed through their character/stories and i do love those characters, but it's somewhat rarer to see the alternative (at least, when race and culture is acknowledged at all), let alone it being a point of pride for them, the same way it is for kim. all of this to say, i feel haunted by what he says when you ask him about his heritage.

i didnt ask him about it on my first run (because i found the way the question is initially asked to be kinda rude and i was afraid of if it'd make him like me less, lol) but i did in my current replay and the way he dances around the topic, 'i'm half seolite, well technically, my parents were both quarter, i guess you could also say im quarter, i don't know the language or culture and i've only lived in revachol', it fucks me up so bad! first is how you can tell it's mostly a defensive tactic for him, at least when he starts the rant— somebody asks about the race thing? deflect. i'm only half. i don't even know the language. i'm not one of those seolites. second is how he loosens into pride when he realises/remembers that harry isn't asking to be racist, he is genuinely having trouble remembering that the concept of race exists, but also because it lets kim kinda show that it is something to be prideful about in revachol.

dont get me wrong— i think kim kitsuragi is genuinely proud of being as revacholian as anyone else. he loves revachol. i dont think he’d go along with harry so easily on random side quests or have opinions on if harry helps or hinders the people of martinaise if he actually didnt care. i dont even know he’d still be a cop or (more accurately) be one for as long as he has been, especially when he’s spent most of it as a juvie officer, if he didnt believe in revachol. it’s people, what it is, and what the country could be. people like to take his position as a police officer as just his way of feeling a sense of power in a post revolutionary (khm. and racist) world that has never had the space for him or his dreams, but kim is more three dimensional than that. ESPECIALLY when there are ways that being a cop gives him less power than regular citizens in revachol. he likes, wants, and believes in both, and that’s not necessarily hypocritical. in the same way, i dont think it’s at all hypocritical that his pride is rooted in both his love for revachol AND the way white supremacy has impacted him. because yk, when he’s proud about his lack of connection to his heritage, it’s not just his love for revachol speaking, it’s also the disdain that we, the player, hear for seolite people (at least what we hear from or related to kim).

that all being said, i dont consider that to be a terribly complex thought at all— real life people are complicated and multifaceted, so kim kitsuragi is written to also be complicated and multifaceted. in disco elysium, the writers are never worried about presenting the world in a better or worse way than it already is. yes, it is definitely a heightened version of our reality, but it also presents everything as direct as possible. case example would be the racist lorry driver in what he says versus how he’s presented. in that very first interaction when kim confronts him and harry catches up on what just happened, he denies and hides in the same way a lot of people deny and hide that they are being racist, but you, the player, cannot avoid or pretend he isnt being racist, because it is literally in his name. you are not given the grace of real life where there is the option of either the benefit of the doubt or genuinely questioning your own assessment. despite all of that, ultimately, it is still haunting for that early kim question to be so reminiscent of what i see in real life.

in the example of a shorter ramble, kim's own ramble weirdly reminds me of myself, but in the opposite direction. i very easily and quickly tumble into word vomit and over-detail my heritage just to make it make sense that my name isnt white. and i'm not gonna boohoo over my own personal situation at all when i know i benefit from white supremacy, but i hate that ultimately, white supremacy ‘won’ when it comes to 'me'. because just like kim kitsuragi, i don't know a language that isn't english, i dont know a different culture, and i've only lived in my predominantly white country.

but a more apt comparison is my own father. a man who’s internalised shame cant even allow him to comprehend why somebody white would want a tan, because he’s always been at least a little tan, and that’s part of what ‘clocks’ him as not fully white, who does try to connect with his mother’s culture, but just kind of ended up with only odd bits and pieces of it and the language, because it was something that would’ve just made life harder than it should be, and despite everything, he’ll still do things like dunk on chinese people. there may be more to say, but you get the gist. and yet somehow none of it has quite reaches the point where he can recognise it in himself. because he knows racism and white supremacy is bad and he’s obviously against it, but it is hard to acknowledge that it is greater than just the lorry drivers and measureheads of the world. because we live with the consequences and the rot of white supremacy within us. assimilation has done it's job to it's logical conclusion.

… and yet it is a limbo, and a hollow one at that. regardless of how white i am, i still dont fully relate to my fully white peers, because there are ways in which i dont share in their accepted shared experiences. my father has never felt accepted in either club, ‘too japanese for white australians and too australian for japanese people’ (can you believe that disco elysium was almost banned from my country)! our fully white peers will never know what it’s like to be able to look at the face of a complete stranger of a different race and see family. to see their aunts, or grandparents, or parents.

but kim kitsuragi talks of that limbo with pride. he may never feel a true sense of community with either white people or other seolites, and this is something his brain seems to choose not to fully acknowledge, even though he definitely feels it. and really, it’s haunting in the same way i find both my father’s and my involvement in society disconcerting. the truth that, in spite of where white supremacy and assimilation can get you, you will never truly achieve the community or peace of mind there is in ignorance.

despite all that, on a brighter note, i do think that in terms of what kim truly likes harry for and what gains his trust in him is the choice for harry to be that sense of community he needs. (if i am remembering right) kim will only really trust you if you chose to defend him from the several racists you’ll encounter and make jokes at their expense with him, because it’s highly HIGHLY unlikely that barely anybody goes through that effort for him. even when it’s pretty clear that the writers were going for humorous ‘haha, white guy trying his best to be an ally’ dialogue choices, kim himself doesnt really show that he finds it obnoxious or unwanted, it’s genuinely something he would rarely get other rcm members even though that is the community he’s definitely and wholly part of.

anyways i have no idea if this post made any sense or if im really wrong (i could be!) because it came from a more personal place than maybe typical character analysis but whatever

#rambles #long post #whoops #disco elysium #harrykim if you squint i guess #too personal #kim kitsuragi

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coquetteprincesss · 1 year

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shifting realities : basic intro

what is shifting? shifting is basically moving your consciousness into an alternative desired reality- or dr for short, where you can go literally anywhere- real or imagined. whether it is hogwarts, stranger things, a life you made up in your mind, etc. ANYWHERE! here, you can become anything you want. anything. you can look however you want. literally however. there is a theory about quantum jumping manifestation which states that you are able to transition into a new reality which you couldn't access before. this is also known as the quantum shift.

key terms

dr : desired reality, cr/or : current reality/old or original reality, wr : waiting room. safe word/phrase/action : when you say your safe word/phrase or do your safe action (ex. : snapping, clapping 3 times, etc., whatever you like), you are back in your cr.

can i shift?

yes, anyone can shift. there are various methods by which you can shift.

explanation of the basic elements

dr : this is the reality where you are shifting. a dr is a universe of its own.

cr/or : it is the reality which you are living in. the one you call "home". but in reality, there is no home.

wr : it is a reality where you can shift more easily as compared to your drs. here, you can wait and complete your script for your drs, or just relax or do ANYTHING!! it can be anything, like a small, cozy room in the middle of a forest, a huge mansion or a whole world, where there's only you and no one else. you can have as many wrs you want and it can be for anything. you can also group shift, with your friends or anyone but just make sure that they have the same script as you except for some private or tiny unnecessary details.

safe word/phrase/action : as i said, you can come back whenever you say or do this but in-case you forgot it, don't worry. you can come back simply with the intention. for example, if you forgot it and want to come back, simply set the intention. your subconscious knows exactly what you want, so it will take you back.

is shifting real? what is it like?

yes, ofc shifting is real. many think that it is just like a dream or it IS a dream. but, no. it is NOT a dream. it is REAL. you can touch, smell, hear, taste, feel here, just like your cr. as i said, it is a universe of its own. there are infinite realities out there. let alone others, you yourself have created countless realities till date and you are still doing it, right now too. every second, everytime you blink, everytime you get introduced to something new, everytime you make a decision, etc., etc., you shift and leave behind the last moment as a whole universe.

what if i get stuck?

no, you CANNOT get stuck in there! why the fuck would you get stuck?! it's your subconscious, not your physical body that is there! your subconscious is way too powerful. it's impossible to get stuck there! so, no, you won't fucking get stuck. you can come back any time you want by saying/doing your safe word/phrase/action or as i already said, with intention too.

what is scripting? is it necessary?

scripting is keeping your thoughts or intentions gathered so you can update or change it anytime. it is not necessary, but i will recommend it. even if you don't want to, it's ok. don't worry about shifting. your subconscious mind knows exactly what you want.

how to script?

you can write your thoughts or intentions of your dr(s) somewhere. it can be even in a book or in your mobile. for example, "my name is ____. i am __ years old. '' etc., etc. as i said, you can be anything here so that automatically leads to the understanding that you can choose to be of any nationality, any gender, you can have any name, etc.

permashifting

this is an abbreviation for permanent shifting. there are many shifters who permashift to their dr.

this is it till now, remember that this post will keep updating as i remember more & more, till i leave a notice.

love,

#reality shifting #manifestation #loa #master manifestor

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asianpopfan · 7 months

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Asian (specifically South Korean) transracialism is a far bigger problem than thought of.

Why? Because many do not actually consider themselves transracial(It’s the minimum) but show “symptoms” of it in their DRs:

The practice of modeling their own personal appearance is not understandable. Even changing names and sometimes even profiles (where they have lived on etc) basically creating an alter ego and dream self/dream past.

But they often make themselves east Asians , at least half or fully.

On one side I heavily criticise this but on the other side I think that this is unfortunately a hidden self belief of “adjusting” themselves to Kpop. You see how people complain that non Korean artists shouldn’t be in kpop? It is all because they do not fit the average image of an East Asian person. People think that a fully and clearly non EA person is like a “fish out of water”. That they might lower the visuals of the group or the industry overall. It’s like a fetish without the segsual connotation to it.

There was a video made by a YouTuber, I can’t find it but I found out another similar one that said the similar things. And the argument is always that they risk wasting time(especially if they start training older, many SKorean trainees themselves “waste” many years into it) and facing discrimination. But it’s like that for almost everything all over the world with any person who becomes a minority in preferred country. If everyone acted on that, there would absolutely be no revolutionary people to look up to. People who “pass” as South Koreans to the international eye, are far more allowed. Think of light skin Vietnamese and Thailandese people. Because it’s still passable as “fetishizable”.

Anyway, these people who do DR, just feel like they would be uncomfortable in their own skin and body in such a fantasised environment, and that’s why they make themselves Skoreans, Chinese American, half Chinese half Thailandese etc. Me too, when I think of my ideal life, it all comes in a package or improved appearance.

Personally? I don’t do DRs, I don’t even know how they are done, but I fantasize a lot and sometimes get “help” from DR promos/scenarios, many times I fantasize being a whole other person with different skin colour, born and grown up on the other side of the world, but if I think “Ok, let’s seriously fantasise a bit actually putting myself in it!” I can barely purposely force myself to change such things.

DR means “Desired (alternate) reality” right? , so you DO desire to actually be East Asian, at least in the reality in which you are a kpop idol. Maybe not in your others DRs as you have “confidence” in yourself.

You are literally inserting your real world deepest concerns and insecurities in your fantasy that you do hardly claim doesn’t have those problems regardless if you are a minority or not. (You can clearly be a minority without facing “problems” for it).

For this reason I truly hope that you all find peace upon yourself. It’s your DR, right? You can literally scripts that things such as discrimination etc do not exist at all.

#transracial #kpop #DR #desired reality #desired life #shifting script #reality shifting

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meowmeowuchiha · 2 years

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I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CUT ON THIS THING I'M ON MOBILE

He...frankly was unsure of where he was. He knew he was in Konoha, but that was about it. It was....different, though. Far more lively, from what he could sense. He couldn't see the village proper, so he could only assume it was now larger....than it had been about five minutes ago. Somehow.

He continued trudging through the trees, footsteps utterly silent, and one thing that worried him immensely was....he couldn't sense Hashirama ANYWHERE. Nor his loathsome brother. (he wasn't too upset about the second one, but the first perturbed him greatly). As he cleared the edge of the treeline, he looked up, and blinked. That....couldn't be right. He activated his base sharingan first, then when there was no change, his mangekyou. Still no change. As a last ditch effort, he attempted to dispel a genjutsu....but when there was no change, he had to accept what he was seeing as reality.

The mountain had FOUR faces on it.....first Hashirama (he expected that one), then Tobirama (that mongrel became Hokage? Ugh), followed by two faces he couldn't recognize. There were poles with wires strung up between them and connecting to various buildings as well. The village was indeed much bigger than he remembered.....Hashirama had just been in the process of officially becoming Hokage last he knew (he shoved down the bitterness and resentment that bubbled up in him. No. This was their dream. It wasn't right to blame Hashirama for something like this, not when it had been *Tobirama* who strong armed him into letting the villagers vote for the first Hokage).

He tried his best to remember how he'd gotten here, whether it be an alternate universe set in the future, or just the plain old future. For the life of him....he couldn't. He had laid down against a tree, content to relax in the peaceful forests, to get a break from...from the wariness and distrustful gazes. He had closed his eyes, for less than five minutes, before he opened them again and suddenly everything was *different*. He couldn't help but give a frustrated sigh. If he had no leads whatsoever on how he got here.....he was stuck for now. There was nothing on his end, and he knew (hoped) that Hashirama would notice his absence and come looking soon enough. Perhaps some trace, some clue was left on the other side of whatever this was. He sure as hell hadn't been able to find anything on his end. It grated him, but he wasn't so pig-headed as to be unable to admit that he literally could not do anything to rectify his....displacement. He just....had to wait for Hashirama to (maybe, hopefully) find him. The fool would be unbearable, his emotions jumping all over the place, but at least he'd be back where he belonged.

His thoughts paused as he heard loud, but small footsteps and sniffling. The footsteps ceased, and he heard a slight slumping noise, indicating that whoever this was had sat down. He made his way towards the quiet noises, and when he saw her....he couldn't help but rush forwards. It was a little girl, only about 7 or 8, with petal pink hair. She was slumped over and crying, and as he got a closer look, she seemed to be wearing clothes that were just a little better than rags. They were worn, and thin, and looked a bit small on her. He made sure his footsteps were loud, easily heard by the crying child. He crouched down and she startled a bit, looking up at him with tear stained, spring green eyes. He did his best to smile gently, wanting to show her he meant no harm, but didn't have high hopes....for some reason he tended to scare small children.

Not this one though, it seemed. She just tilted her head to look at him curiously.

"who....who are you, sir?" she asked.

Internally relieved, he responsed in a soft tone. "Ah....my name is Madara....may I ask yours?"

The girl nodded "I'm...I'm Sakura, Madara-san...it's....it's nice to meet you...."

So polite...it was cute. "It is also nice to meet you, Sakura-chan. May I ask why you're crying?"

Sakura flinched a bit, and looked down at her feet, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Ami-san is being mean again....she...she told me I can never be a ninja, that...that a walking jinx couldn't ever be a ninja, because they won't let me. Told me that....that I'm weak, and that she...she would grow wings and fly before I got strong. She told me again that....that I should be...be kicked out of Konoha...!" Sakura broke down into quiet tears once more.

Madara....had to work on reigning in his anger. Who the hell would say such things? It sounded like a peer, but even amongst the harsh words he knows children can say.....this was some of the worst. Kick her out of Konoha? Walking jinx? Sure, Sakura may be weak currently....but she was only a child, and still growing and training in what was SUPPOSED to be a SAFE environment. Clearly that wasn't the case, at least not emotionally. Even though shinobi children did need to learn to not let the words of an opponent get to them....it should never have been allowed to escalate to this point.

All he could do....was attempt to help her now, since CLEARLY no one else had.

"Well....I think this Ami-san is wrong." startled green eyes shot to him "I think you will be more than capable of becoming a fine kunoichi....it simply takes time. Even for very strong people, they started out weak. When I first started training, I almost cut off my fingers with my shuriken trying to throw them."

This drew a small giggle from the girl. He wasn't going to tell her that he had only been around three at the time, though. Her slight mirth died away quickly, however, and she looked down again, her chakra seeming to curl in on itself.

"....what's wrong? Did something else happen?"

She tensed, but didn't begin crying again. He would take that as a good sign.

"....I miss Ino Pig....but...we aren't friends anymore...."

He....did not know how to deal with this. There was clearly far more to the story, but he didn't want to push her. He heard her stomach growl, interrupting his thoughts, and smiled a bit as she looked embarrassed. He patted at his pockets, but....he didn't have any money. Well....he always had been good at roasting game, and he had his kunai.

"Sakura-chan....do you want to get something to eat?"

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry....my stomach is lying." it growled again.

"....you are hungry, I can tell. Why don't you want something to eat?"

She curled in on herself further, seemingly ashamed, and he had to strain his hearing to pick up on it.

".....no money....."

That was it? He chuckled a bit. "I have no money either. But, there are plenty of things to eat that you don't have to buy....it just takes a little bit more work. Now...let me see what I can find, alright? Do you know how to get good wood for a fire?" she nodded hesitantly. "Good....now...can you gather wood for a fire while I find something to cook?"

She seemed to deliberate for a few moments before nodding. "Can....can you teach me how to find food, too, Madara-san? E-even if it's hunting, I can learn!"

He was a bit taken aback that such a small child wanted to learn how to hunt. Why...? Then it clicked. She somehow didn't have a reliable source of food. Which was incredibly strange to him...shouldn't food be in abundance? But, he wouldn't interrogate the poor girl over her life.

"Alright....I can teach you another time...for now, we're both hungry, and could use food in our bellies as quickly as possible. I can show you what plants I use to make it taste better, though."

She looked a bit discouraged initially, but when he offered to show her the plants at least, she brightened up a bit.

"Okay, Madara-san!! I'll get the wood and bring it here!!!" with that said, she trotted off into the woods, the rustling leaves leaving a trail of noise behind her.

Well....there should be some rabbits or quail around here, at least...

Notes on this AU:

- I'm essentially making this an AU of Tiny.Dncer's fic "Her Experience". Sakura in that story eventually turned dance into a taijutsu style, and I couldn't help but think of Madara, who constantly refers to battle as a dance. Imagine his reaction to discovering that she was converting literal dancing into an actual combat style.

- He will be stuck in future Konoha, and it's an alternate time line for him. The timeline he's found himself in, that version of him still went through the whole ordeal from reading the tablet to faking his death and fucking up Obito. The history of this timeline still marks him as a nuke-nin.

- After he finds this out, he will realize that Sakura should probably keep his identity a secret. He's relatively certain no one will recognize him, as those who he knows would are long dead, but his name is still extremely recognizable to the older generations. Sakura will pick up on it quick enough, knowing her.

- In his original timeline, Hashirama feels like something isn't quite right, but Tobirama just keeps insisting that Madara must have abandoned the village, and he should be on guard in case he decides to actively turn against it. So....Hashirama, despite a niggling feeling, will not do anything due to a combination of being busy af as Hokage and his brother's persuasion.

This is....literally all I got for this. This will likely never go further than this, and anyone can feel free to adopt I guess. Here's the link for "Her Experience" though!!!

#naruto #Concept #fanfic concept #Go ahead and adopt #Madara #Madara Uchiha #Sakura #Sakura Haruno #Fanfic

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skewbforty · 1 year

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Is reality shifting just lucid dreaming? The definitive answer!

Ok let's start from the beginning. What is reality shifting? Reality shifting claims any and every universe is real somewhere in the plane of existence, and that using a certain technique you can "tune into" that reality, and experience whatever you desire... For however long you desire. This is your "desired reality".

Many people stand by shifting being a real thing, others thing the whole thing is bullshit, and some meet halfway, saying the experience is genuine, but the act itself is nothing more than a vivid lucid dream.

So who's right?

Let's take a look at what we know and try and get to the bottom of this.

First off, shifters often leave behind a "clone" or "mirror" in their current reality, but the description is vague and not well known. Do they act like they know their consciousness shifted, or do they have a consciousness of their own? Well one thing that is known about the brain is the pineal gland, which is thought to have the power to have you experience literally anything. One theory I have is while your "awareness" is experiencing whatever the pineal gland has to offer, the rest of your brain is working as it normally does in the real world. So that's one potential point for the lucid dream theory.

Another observation that can be made is if we can tune into a reality, learn something, then come back there with that information, then how is it we don't have shifters who know everything? Well you may say, they go back to a version of this reality where they know everything. But how did the other shifters get back here then? Where does experience end and knowledge begin? That's another potential point for the lucid dream theory.

Lastly, and admittedly, this wasn't a point I looked into, but apparently many "methods" of shifting are eerily similar to lucid dream methods. If they're so similar, what is the distinguishing point between trying to shift vs trying to lucid dream? How are they different, and why has nobody experienced both?

I think you get my point. But here's the deal. The definitive, objective, factual answer to "is shifting real or is it lucid dreaming" is (drumroll)...

IT DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER.

Think about it, when was the last time you "left" your senses and experienced the universe in its rawest form? You haven't because you can't. Your experiences is all you have and it is all you will ever have. If something feels real, who really cares if it's really happening or not? You can still choose to believe that everything is happening somewhere. Nobody can stop you. As for the points I made earlier. I might be completely off the mark. You may be going to another universe after all, but what does it matter? Really? Just be glad such a profound, incredible experience even exists! So what are you waiting for? Tap into your head (or your alternate universe lives) and life your dream life~ It's waiting for you regardless of what you believe ♡

#reality shifting #lucid dreaming #spirituality

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dianight · 1 month

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Venting. Long.

Today I checked the piece of paper I was given for my second appointment and as it turns out I have to go in person to the hospital again(!?) just to actually get the appointment.

Last time I asked(!) if that was it after all the talking and it was like, "yeah next time we get your levels and if all is good you can start". I got the thingy for the bloodwork, informed consent pages and this little piece of paper with the date and hour for my next consultation.

What do you know, it literally says "IMPORTANT: After your consultation, request an appointment with this sheet on this center" (<- paraphrased). I literally started sweating cold. But I asked! I asked if that was it! How can you not tell me that I need to go and ask IN PERSON for another appointment when I'm there?

And I just checked out of curiosity because I was going to ask if I can get a ride. Bus drops me too far and it takes too long to come back. Worst case scenario I just carry some lunch and spend the day out. No big deal. But then. I see this shit.

What if it's actually done and I don't really have to go in person? What if they set it up? Then why does it not show online? The platform is dogshit, takes ages to load and it says "no appointments". But is it true? I don't know. I can't know. It's saturday night and I decide to be smart and prepare shit, ask people with some notice just to see if I can get something done.

It took me more than 30 minutes panicking while laying in bed to realize. Wait. I can literally call the hospital. Ahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhh(!!!). I can call them. Right. But I need to wait until monday morning because they for sure will not answer on the weekend. Doesn't matter if it says it's open. I WILL call them tomorrow. But I have zero hope that it'll do anything.

And I'm lucky(!) that I decided to reread it. Can you imagine if I went there. And they don't call me. Not even the shame or whatever, I care not about that. But I've been waiting for so! long! Almost 9 years. More if you count those before that, when I didn't know one can just be(!) trans. That happens to other people. Surely not me.

You know the one good thing about taking so long? You get to see what others think of you before they know what they think of you. You don't learn who's safe, but you do learn who's unsafe(!).

And you know the thing about cutting people out of your life? It does spare you from the transphobia, but can you even explain to someone you've shared a good chunk of your life with "you are a danger to me"? You can't. They don't understand. No words to make them see.

And I've tried. Given more chances than I thought possible. But there comes a point where you realize that you simply live a different reality. No examples, analogies or comparisons will work. They think they have it figured out, they think they are completely unbiased and see how things truly(!) are. And in the same sentence they deny your whole existence. I say no. You cannot be a part of my life.

And yet I have to tolerate shit for now. The day will come when I'll have my own place again and these people are gone for good. It will happen because the alternative is death and I refuse.

There's a reason why airports have shown up in my dreams so many times despite only being in them like, 10 times total(?). Some of the worst days of my life were spend waiting in an airport. That's why I hate waiting and despise airports. Childish I know. Traumatic perhaps. A decade later I was "welcomed back" and offered a place to stay because we are "family"(<- intense hatred). Were we not family when I got kicked out and had to fly to another country?

I learned kindness from others, but not forgiveness. When all of this is sorted, when I have done my best and seen things through, they will be forgotten. I have no family, just coldhearted individuals who think they can abandon me and not face any consequences. They have not seen me smile or laugh in all this time, and they never will.

Joy has almost disappeared from my life. Many of my friends have turned out to be extremely shitty people. When you are kids you can ignore this stuff because you are also a kid and don't know better. But when are you in your 20s, in your 30s there are things that are unacceptable.

My leg is fine. I can run. It hurts if I overdo it. I used to run for fun. Can't do it anymore.

I used to get up, get breakfast, do whatever, get lunch, keep doing whatever and get dinner. Can't do that when you live with others. You can, but you know what I mean. There's a "normal person schedule" that one has to roughly follow. I also have to be extremely careful with anything I eat. I had to change like 60/70% of my diet and now I cannot eat anything I don't prepare. Too dangerous. It won't kill me (right away) but it will fuck me up for days. Can't eat out either. That certainly does not help you keep friends.

What do I even have left at this point? Videogames? Manga? I don't know. I simply keep going because there is no alternative. Goddess of perseverance. Of those who try. Not the ones who win, not the ones who lose. The ones who do their best when there is nothing left.

Tomorrow I will call the hospital. It might be closed. It might be useless. Best case scenario everything is ready and I've panicked for no reason. Got a good walk out of it (<- walking on the beach at 2am). Realistically and knowing my luck I'll have to call again on monday, they'll tell me I have to go in person and then waste an entire day just to set it up, if somehow I didn't miss a deadline that no one told me about (<- getting overly pessimistic). Then next week I go in there, get my prescription and start moving plots along. Get the paperwork ready. Look for a cheap place. Get someone to help. Just ignore any questions. I don't lie. Then I'll be alive, I'll have finished waiting.

#dia talks #toxic

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badoccultadvice · 3 years

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Once upon a time my former roommate was seduced by a hypnotist who claimed to be from an alternate reality nuclear dystopia.

Back around 2014 I lived with a single white cis woman who was striving to slowly edit herself into the platonic ideal of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and we'll call her Pixie because of that. As for her seducer... (I'm not TRYING to make it sound skeezy, but I can't call him a boyfriend because they constantly swore up and down that they weren't dating each other.)

He was a real can of worms, let's call him Tom since he literally thought that sometimes he became a secret agent that was doing Impossible Missions for the government. He would show us Tom Cruise movies as a form of... biography. Also, yes, he claimed to have hopped over from an alternate dimension where Washington DC was nuked. Sadly, he never told us what geopolitical situation caused this to happen, so I guess he didn't jump sideways in reality to actually prevent anything.

Look, I know it sounds bizarre but Tom was a real guy and he had a quirk of telling me out of nowhere that he was in my sink, and every time he'd say 'sink,' he'd look at me expectantly like something was supposed to happen to me. He also told me that I would notice it every time I took a drink of water and that I would end up drinking it according to his prompts once enough time had gone by. He once tried to use eye mesmerism on me in a hotel room to get me to channel a demon he wanted to talk to that night.

These are things a hypnotist can do. And Tom was a hypnotist. Tom was also crazy. And Pixie was crazy for his goddamn dick.

I didn't ever really get the penis factor. I guess Tom had one that was worth putting up with his bullshit and ignoring his beer gut. Pixie had become more and more inscrutable to me over the years of rooming together and I could not understand her taste in men at all--it was almost just one Tom after another, except Tom was the only man she'd gone out with that was from an alternate nuclear dimension.

You may wonder why Pixie believed Tom, and why I was hanging out with either of them, and IF I believed Tom. I was Tom agnostic back then, actually. I was always waiting for proof of Tom's divinity, but inevitably, none would appear. Living with Pixie (a situation that would grow untenable by 2015) had already inured me to the crazy--Tom was at least human. Our previous roommate had been an elf. (I don't really know from which reality. Probably none.) Living with Pixie was a life experiment, it felt like, and adding the Tom variable in was creating a lot of data.

Okay yeah, so I was there munching popcorn and watching Pixie's train slowly wreck until she finally moved out of my house. Sue me. But how did she get seduced by a hypnotist?

Well, Pixie was absolutely convinced that she had a twin flame. A soulmate created alongside her soul before her physical incarnation, a match for her in every way. I knew this because she'd introduced me to him twice before she ever met Tom. The first time was a boyfriend that ended up lasting three months, and the second time was a husband that ended up lasting three-ish years.

After she met Tom, she introduced her 'soulmate' to me a third time. One thing that Pixie's 'soulmate' always had was entrancing eyes that she felt she could just fall into. So the hypnotism seduction thing with Tom sorta wrote itself. He was fine with her thinking that he was his soulmate, because he was convinced that she was capable of reaching "level one" -- a place in which there would be no separation between Tom and Pixie. And I know this sounds absolutely, completely unpredictable, but the ritual to get to level one was sex.

The ritual was sex without blinking, actually, which I assumed was because Tom wasn't much for stamina. But you have to understand--via this ritual Tom was going to create a new dimension where he controlled the reality and Pixie could rule as his goddess alongside him, so it was important that they get it right.

So where did this all end up? Well, I kicked Pixie out of my house before she and Tom managed to fuck a new Narnia into existence, but I heard she eventually wised up and split up with him. The last time I saw Tom, he was trying to hypnotize a supermarket attendant to pay attention to him.

It was not super effective.

#i wish I had made this story up but it is true #by the way i'm pretty sure tom ripped his whole backstory from fallout #i wasn't into the series at the time #or I'd be more sure of it

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free-pool-trash · 3 years

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happiness - peter maximoff

yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻

!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!

word count: 5k <3 😳

warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is

feedback is appreciated <3

tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)

masterlist

haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime

leave it all behind

& there is happiness

Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.

There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.

He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.

Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?

It was only when he��d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.

And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.

Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.

Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.

His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.

He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.

When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.

But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.

It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.

That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.

You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.

That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.

As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.

Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.

Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.

But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.

“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.

He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.

With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.

It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.

“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.

The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.

What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.

There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.

Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.

You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.

In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.

As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”

The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.

Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.

While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.

“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.

For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.

He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.

If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.

If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.

You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.

“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.

“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.

In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.

“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.

Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.

His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.

As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.

Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.

Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.

You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.

However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.

Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.

You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.

With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.

“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.

Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.

It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.

You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.

“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.

“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.

“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.

“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.

“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.

“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.

“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.

Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.

Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”

Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.

“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.

“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.

You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”

Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”

“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.

Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”

A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.

“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.

“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”

“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.

Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.

“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.

“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.

Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”

Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.

You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.

“About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.

Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.

“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.

A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.

“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.

“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.

You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”

“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.

“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.

His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”

Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.

It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.

Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.

His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.

With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.

#peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wandavision x reader #wandavision spoilers #x men x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #mcu #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader

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naancypants · 3 years

Text

1x13 “The Whisper Box” analysis

“I am stuck in a dream of my perfect life”

This is one of the first things Nancy says after realizing she is in an alternate reality, confirming for the audience that what we’re seeing is essentially, in Nancy’s mind, what would be a perfect world. If she could take the life she currently has and turn it into what she considers her perfect reality - this is how everything would look.

That established, let’s dive in.

The first and most obvious difference is that Kate Drew is still alive and cancer-free. What I find fascinating is that in Nancy’s ideal reality, her mom does still have a cancer scare - but what makes this so great for our heroine is how it draws upon the most earth-shattering event of her life and alters the ending. It’s much more poignant for her this way, because instead of eliminating a negative situation altogether, this scenario rectifies it, vicariously allowing Nancy to relish in the flood of relief she always wanted.

This universe sheds some light not only on Nancy's emotional attachment to Kate, but also her attachment to Kate’s death. Ever since she lost her mom there was a dark cloud over her life. Nancy’s key to escaping this head trip of hers (and moving forward from her grief) was to say a final goodbye to her mother - something she never got to do in real life - and this, in an ironic and bittersweet fashion, grants Nancy closure and peace. She had to let go of her heart to find her way home.

Carson is only painted in a positive light here, because at this point in the show she has finally arrived at a good place with her dad. She feels grateful for that and would not change anything about him or their relationship.

We learn that in this universe she doesn’t even know Nick yet, let alone have a romantic history with him; they do, however, still exhibit their prior pattern of experiencing and acting on their chemistry. This is not a surprise given Nancy’s emotional state in real life. Nick was the one to initiate their break-up, so while he still cares deeply for Nancy, Nancy is the one who was blindsided/rocked the hardest by their split. The show makes it clear she isn’t over Nick at this point in the timeline, so it’s not surprising that being with him is part of her ideal reality. Their never having met in the beginning is symbolic of Nancy’s desire to start over with him. She has a lot of regret regarding how she handled things with Nick and would love a clean slate to conduct a do-over.

Another notable point - in the real world, Nancy has recently caught Nick and George together in some 👀 moments. Given that she still has feelings for Nick, it makes sense that his fast-tracked bonding with George might bother her on some level. Hence, in her perfect life, Nick and George have already dated and ended things on a sour note. One less thing for Nancy to worry about.

In Nancy’s perfect life, George is more open and affectionate. I find this super sweet. By now Nancy has really come to value George’s friendship and she simply wishes that George wasn’t so weighed down with stress and emotional walls. Therefore this version of George is happy, carefree, and fully comfortable in her own skin - they also appear to be much closer in terms of friendship.

I’d like to reiterate now that Nancy’s perfect world is first and foremost founded on her reality. With that in mind, rather than changing all the details of Bess’s life to grant her something more favorable than living out of a van, she simply wishes for her friend to make the most of the situation. In this universe we see Bess living it up, embracing her unusual lifestyle for everything that it is, and also having become a social media star. Here she is positively glowing. Nancy’s greatest wish for Bess is to be happy, thriving, and free from anxiety.

On multiple occasions in this episode it’s mentioned that Ace is pretty much the same. This show in its earlier stages often treated Ace as the ‘comic relief’, so a very shallow reading of this episode could dismiss these as throwaway lines; but given Nancy’s psychological revelations regarding literally everyone else, I truly don’t believe his role would be so trivial. Therefore, without getting TOO dramatic or shippy about it 😜, I think what we can take from this is that there’s genuinely nothing about Ace that Nancy wishes were any different. From where she’s standing, he seems content with who he is and has become an important part of her inner circle (per 1x08, she considers him her friend). I think that Ace is still maybe a bit of a background player for her at this point (remember this is pre-library scene), but he’s such a steady and dependable one that there’s nothing about him she would want to change.

Ryan Hudson is a charitable man who is doing The Most for Horseshoe Bay, using his power and influence only for good. This is the man Nancy wishes Ryan was, instead of the one who’s made countless destructive decisions and caused far more harm than good. Plus, a smaller detail, but Ryan’s hair is much more natural and un-moussed in this reality because he is unconcerned with upholding a certain image per his family name (and, if we expand our thinking here, this version of Ryan may have cut ties with his family completely). Ryan is more comfortable with himself here, as there is no overhanging sense of guilt re: Lucy Sable or even Tiffany.

Lucy is still present via the ghost under the sheet, taking the form of Hannah Gruen and dropping Nancy the clues she needs to further her investigation. Nancy’s connection with Lucy is far too strong to be broken by any universe - but since both Kate Drew AND Tiffany Hudson are alive in this timeline, it’s unlikely that Nancy would know much at all about Lucy Sable. Therefore she doesn’t make any physical appearances.

It says a lot about Nancy at her core that so much of her ‘perfect life’ is about everyone around her being happier, healthier. And based on Nancy’s surprise at the idea that “you all like me” in this universe, it appears that she does still struggle with some of the anxiety her mother said she had. Of COURSE her friends like her, but it tells us a little something about Nancy’s inner world and psychology. I think that detail is a GREAT take on the Nancy Drew character. It makes her a little more vulnerable without removing any of her courage, her boldness, or her strength.

#nancy drew #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew #cwnd #analysis post #i wrote this before season 2 hehehe but i just went through and updated/edited it

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tokoyamisstuff · 3 years

Text

Dark Side Of The Moon Ch. 1 - Dark! Loki x Reader

Chapter 1: Speak to Me/Breathe

Chapter Summary: The last thing you remember was being mortally wounded, now having woken up in a completely different reality. And you’d soon need to face the horrors of who would seek you out...

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Suicide Attempt, Graphic Descriptions of Death, Dark! Loki, Spoiler you kinda die but kinda don't

Words: approx. 3800

[Story Masterlist]

Masterlist to my other works right ->Here<-

Lyrics used from the Song: Kina ft. Snow - Get You The Moon

“Y/N, look out!”

The piercing sounds of gunfire nearby made your eardrums ring, yet Steve’s words got through to you nonetheless.

But you were determined to end this, here and now.

Tony was the first one at your side, catching you in his arms before you hit the floor. However, you could only do so much as whimper a silent apology to your friends, who now had to live with the consequences of your actions.

“Why did you do this?!” you heared Dr. Strange yell as he unsucessfully tried to close the deep cut in your gut. Too afraid of what you might see if you’d look at the wound, your glare was locked on the beautiful sky - yes, the sun was almost setting, and it was somehow calming to you that this would most likely the last thing you’d set eyes upon.

“There was no reason to be this reckless!” Steve followed close by, his scolding soon turning into desperate screams. “Fuck. FUCK!” If Captain America himself is cussing, then it’s as severe as you thought it to be.

Your wounds were lethal, that much was sure.

And of course they were right, as always: You didn’t need to play the martyr here, throwing yourself into danger to shield your comrades - well, you did anyway, and there was no going back now.

On the other hand, they were the ones taking a gravely depressed widow onto a dangerous mission. But you did not want your precious friends to blame themselves for that, for it was your own wish.

Dying in an honorable battle was what would send you to Valhalla, after all - where you could finally meet him again, hopefully.

The only one not having spoken a single word up until now was Thor, very well knowing what all this was about. It was no secret that you were sick and tired of how your life had turned out to be, ever since the Infinity War.

You felt empty. Incomplete. Desperate. Hallow.

The God of Thunder had turned his back to you, yet there was still agony radiating from that already broken man. Your almost-brother-in-law was the only one who could possibly understand your pain. Thor Odinson had lost everything: His homeland, most of his tribe, his family and best friend - and soon, you as well.

All this time, you wanted to be strong. For them, who had also lost so much!

But at some point things just got out of control.

“You can’t leave me alone, Lady Y/N! Not you too!” Thor finally whimpered as he fell onto his knees, softly squeezing your hand. “You’re the only thing I have left from him!

So this is what dying feels like.

The bloodloss caused your limps to go limp, and when the pain began to stop and got replaced by numbness, you knew it would soon be time. Your brain lost the remaining control over your body, and you found yourself encoated by pure nothingless.

Only able to listen by their screams, cries and kind words - at least you’d die surrounded by those marvellous people. It sure was a privilege knowing them.

You weren’t afraid - all in all, it had been a good life, after all.

There were no regrets.

“Shh” you hushed them, using your last bit of strenght so your lips formed somewhat of a most broken smile, forming words between gurling on your own blood.

“It’s alright, I-” you cut yourself off, trying to scream as a last, torturing pain shot through your whole system. “I-I-I’ll-- meet him again...you know?”

“I’m no-not strong enough, please...” Thor cried out like you had never seen him before, feeling a tide of guilt wash over you. “Loki wouldn’t have wanted you to go like this! He told me to protect you, so you could lead a long and happy life!”

Without him? Impossible!

“You gave me a shoulder when I needed it

You showed me love when I wasn’t feeling it

You helped me fight when I was giving in

And you made me laugh when I was losing it”

Yes, indeed: You had been to selfish to keep on living just for the sake of your friends, burdening them with yet another loss.

“I-I don’t wanna go...this was a mistake, I- please...”

How badly did you want to soothe them right now, telling them that everything would be alright and you’d meet them again, eventually?

It was too late now.

Your body gave up earlier than your soul, which had endured and kept on all this time, even in it’s shattered state.

And when Tony’s palm gently closed your eyes, making it easier for you to embrace the cold darkness, the last thing you heared before your senses gave up were startling you enough to almost bring you back to life:

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

That voice was familiar, yet it didn’t belong to Loki. Dr. Strange, no- Stephen Strange, your friend and mentor of the mystic arts.

“I don’t have the heart to allow this to happen” he stated frantic, making you wonder if that was a dream of your hypoxic brain or if you were still able to hear them? People tend to say the sense of hearing dies last, after all. “She still has a pulse, even though weak. Hurry!”

Their voices were far in the back, words way too far out of your reach to understand. As if you were an outsider, only observing from a distance.

Your friends were fighting, or maybe discussing something. That much you could make up from their tone, but your mind was too exhausted to make sense of anything.

It felt as if you were already without a body, floating through the unknown like a feather in the wind - not knowing where fate would lead you to next.

Everything was numb - even your pain. It was soothing, somehow.

Because you had been a ghost way before, when you were alive even. An empty shell of a human, acting like they weren’t dead on the inside.

Coherent thoughts, memories, emotions...even the fractions of your own past you had both collected and surpressed. Right now, they were all restrained and pushed far in the back of your very core, where you were finally able to evaluate them without earthly bondings.

Was this heaven, hell - or maybe both or none or them?

____

"Be aware of the limits this tactic has. It’s a very drastic measurement that can most likely be used only once in your lifetime, and it is not guaranteed to work either.”

Stephen’s voice again. You recall that scene, it’s been long in the past...but why are you remembering it now?

Yes, this was familiar. All of you had been invited to the Sanctum Sanctorum, a fitting place to teach about this ancient knowledge.

You clearly remembered that Loki was absent in any of the Doctor’s lessons, feeling that a “puny human” was “unworthy” to teach him, and “it would be nothing new anyway, Y/N, I am a god and the way better wizard, I know it all already.”

What he was about to tell you back then was some kind of crazy emergency-plan: Dangerous, unpredictable and escpecially untested.

“I’ve only read about this tactic up until now” the mage pondered loudly as he picked at his goatee, earning some childish giggles by you and Tony. “So I cannot promise that it will function as planned. The Multiverse is dangerous and acts in unforseen ways.”

“Very reassuring” you had mocked at the time, not really biding the topic any importance or thought ever again.

But now...

The trick sounded way simpler than it actually was, being as complex as it is only natural for something like that, costing a huge prize at that:

Dr. Strange would send any of you who were on the brink of death through a portal, thus leading you into a random dimension of this endless Multiverse.

That dimension, in which your alternate self has most likely died, will gladly accept you as a “replacement”. Some kind of what Peter Parker called a “glitch” will occur, instantly healing all of your wounds - even fatal ones, so you could remain in the timeline that was missing you.

Yet the consequences of this maneuvre would be unspeakable.

_____

“That bastard...” you gnarled internally, finally realizing why you would remember this of all things after apparently having just taken your dying breath. “He didn’t just-”

Eventually, you realized having escaped death’s grip, slowly beginning to regain your senses - yet still refusing to open your eyes.

“I don’t want to leave this place. My friends -- will I never see them again? No. NO! Life is meaningless. Just let me be with him. Please! Loki...”

“’Cause you are, you are

The reason why I’m still hanging on

‘Cause you are, you are

The reason why my head is still above water

And if I could I’d get you the moon

And give it to you

And if death was coming for you

I’d give my life for you”

Another part of Strange’s lesson echoed in your head, revealing that you were now in fact up on your own.

“Not even I can tell just how much this timeline will differ from what you know. Of course I will search for you right away, but considering the countless possibilities, it might very well be that we’ll never meet again. But you’re alive, and hopefully safe. That’s all that counts.”

Grass tickled your palm as you twitched your fingers, testing the limits of your body, which had literally just tricked death. Suddenly, you felt a stinging pain, almost like lightning boring into your temportal. The origin of this pain remained unknown.

When you finally found the courage to sit up, your flesh still feeling as heavy as lead, you realized that Stephen was most likely wrong: He assumed that you’d find yourself in a place you had a deep connection with, yet that place was unrecognizable to you.

Then why were you here of all places?

Actually, this location was incredibly beautiful, managing to stop the aching in your heart, if only for the fraction of a second.

Your former lover would’ve loved this place.

“'Cause you are, you are

The reason why I’m still hanging on

'Cause you are, you are

The reason why my head is still above water

And if I could I’d get you the moon

And give it to you

And if death was coming for you

I’d give my life for you”

Even though not all of Dr. Strange’s speculations were correct, you decided to stick to his emergency plan: Find as much information about this “new” earth as possible, point out the differences to your initial one, and then contact the Dr. Strange of this dimension.

Two mages working on crossing each other’s path would at least higher the stakes to find your original timeline.

Well, no one could guarantee you that the Avenger’s existed on this timeline, and they could as well be evil in this one...what a weird and horrifying imagination.

Knowledge really was power - that was another thing Loki had taught you a long time ago, and it would prove valuable, especially in this situation.

As you wandered this surprisingly extensive garden and getting lost in admiring the beauty of it’s nature, you found yourself devoid of any weapons. That fact made you slightly uncomfortable, even though your current location seemed absent of any ememies, making a peaceful impression.

Seemingly there weren’t any evil schemes going on in this dimension.

It basically were only minor differences, at least that was your first impression. At least there were no changes in natural laws or something as big.

“I miss the days where magic and science didn’t mix up like this” you whispered, mainly to yourself as you examined the new, large scar on your abdomen - the only memory left of your “almost-suicide-mission”.

To be more precize: The only thing left from your former life, now leaving you able to start completely anew, wether you wanted it or not.

Sun had almost drowned behind the horizon, diving the sky in a deep orange. Your eyes were still adjusting, yet you could’ve sworn to see the silhouette of a person. It was far away, at the entrance on what appeared to be a palace belonging to this garden.

Apparently, you had invaded someone’s propery, and you could only pray that it was noone important - or worse, a owner who would defend their ground with violence.

You don’t think your earth had a place this...flashy. The castle was way bigger than any you knew on the other timeline. The first difference you had figured out, yet it was only a minor one.

Maybe the headache you were experiencing was from someone making you out as an intruder?

One thing was sure: You had been noticed, and you immediately were on high alert.

Where to run to or at least hide?

There was a maze made out of bushed parting you and the palace, and since there was no better option, you’d enter it. Talking to that person and convincing them of your goodwill would make it way easier to gain information.

“You may come out” you declared as you made your way, unable to evaluate the situation properly. “I mean no harm. I’m just lost.”

Was it dangerous to be here? Obviously, you were not allowed to be here anyway.

However, when you had finally found the escape to that maze, only several hundret meters away from the building, the person was already gone.

Had your mind just played a dirty trick on you again? Wouldn’t be the firt time it’d betray you like this...

No. You clearly felt someone watching you.

And as soon as your senses had sharpened to your usual self again, you instantly jumped back, gaining some distance to the Citauri that had just appeared behing you.

Shit! You weren’t ready to fight again just yet. Not like this.

And where one of those vile beasts were, many others would appear. You knew that much.

Had Thanos invaded this earth? Oh god, not again...not him. You were so damn tired of those fights, escapes and especially the pain that always inevitable followed after.

Just when it was about to swing it’s weapon at your head, you felt dizziness crawl up your nerves, making you collapse on the floor. Lucky for you, because only like that, the stike didn’t hit you.

Even though having been taught basic magic skills, that certain kind of spell you were unable to fight against - only true masters of the art were able to perform a sorcery that well.

The Chitauri had left your line of sight, yet the other figure from before reappeared in a pace so fast that your eyes couldn’t follow. They sweeped you off the floor just before your head would meet the hard pavement.

“And now you will answer to me, shapeshifter.”

Once again someone robbed you of the control of your life and body, leaving you without a free will.

How long had you been passed out now? You didn’t know and honestly didn’t care either - since you had nothing to lose anymore.

In the meantime, the owner of those lands had dismissed his guards, not wanting to be disturbed as he was left alone with you in the giant throne room.

The apparent ruler of that unclassified location was sitting on his throne, warily observing you from above. You were lying to his feet at the bare floor, every piece of clothing robbed from you and restrained by a pile of chains. He watched every twitch, all breaths you’d take or groans escaping your mouth until you would finally awake.

Oh, how you really were just like he remembered you, with every little detail he had adored.

At long last, you would finally open your lids again, blinking heavily as you took in your surroundings - but when your eyes met certain emerald ones, they immediately sprung wide open, the emptiness in your heart being filled with all kinds of emotions once again.

The man - it was him!

“'Cause you are, you are

Oh, you are

You are'Cause you are, you are

The reason why I’m still hanging on

'Cause you are, you are

The reason why my head is still above water

And if I could I’d get you the moon

And give it to you”

“Loki!” you screamed from the bottom of your heart. Without a single coherent thought, your legs would carry on their own as your weakened body stumbled in their attempt to climb those stairs.

For both of you, that momend of reuinion had waited far too long.

The god was temptated to approach you, his trembling hands already reaching out to catch your fragile body should you fall - but suddenly, you felt his knuckles digging into your cheekbone.

“Stay away from me, you fake!” Loki yelled furiously as you hit the ground, rubbing your cheek as you tried to understand what just happened.

Yeah, that sure brought you back to reality again, after such a short high.

Right.

That isn’t your Earth - and not your Loki either.

You couldn’t even be sure this world’s Y/N and Loki had the same kind of relationship the two of you had back in your timeline! The only thing you knew was that he knew you from his past, but as it seemed not pleasantly.

Now that you looked closely, he even had less scars, almost looking untouched and pure - like a true, invincible god. Maybe life here had treat him well, unlike his counterpart from your timeline.

He was still wearing that excessive outfit with the golden horns, and much to both your amazement and fear, it seemed that he still possessed theTesseract.

Could it be...

Before you could connect the dots, the king would soon interrupt your string of thoughts. “Drop that disguise, scum!”

Loki kept on degrading you as he paced in front of his throne, brow sinking deeper and deeper. “Don’t think you can somehow appeal to those pathetic sentiments” he explained, “I’ve freed myself from them long ago. Just stop making a fool out of yourself, and maybe I’ll reward it with a quicker death.”

Yet when he saw your most innocent smile, even this Loki would stand frozen in place, deeply in shock.

How he yearned to see it, all those years - to tell you just how sorry he was for everthing he’s done.

No.

He had left all of this behind - to claim his birthright and rule.

“I-I’m deeply so-sorry...that is a mistake” you whimmered with a broken voice, wiping a tear of joy out of your face. “My feelings overwhelmed me, I guess. I’ve never thought to see you again, even if you’re not the same Loki I know.”

Still cowering on the floor, you looked up to him with compassionate eyes, as if he had not just beat you before. You did not dare to make any more, wanting for Loki to try and understand himself.

“A variant?” he gnarled, just like you did when he realized.

No force in the world had allowed him to access other parts of the Multiverse, no matter how desperately he tried - and now fate had literally dropped you in front of his door.

Loki balled his fists in anger, making you flinch as you anticipated yet another blow.

“Dear, I-”

“Shut up!” the God of Mischief shoutet, causing his magic to break free. The walls of the palace were shaking, most windows and furniture having been destroyed. “It’s no use, woman!”

That man was way more powerful than the “puny god” people called names back on Asgard - and his sheer might made you quiver.

Just what kind of monster had he become, and why?

“L-Loki, please...” you tried to appeal to the last bit of humanity he might possess, and your begging made his guts twist in agony. “You’re scaring me.”

“You better be scared!” he exclaimed, grabbing you by the chin and forcing you to look at him. “No matter what disgracefully weak “alter ego” of me you knew, I am built different. Stronger. Better. Everyone in the Nine Realms fears me, and I desire nothing else! Everything distracting me from fulfilling my destiny and reign over you dull creatures I got rid of. You’re nothing more than an insect I might as well crush right here and now!”

Choking on a sob, he tried to relish that last chance he got to admire you, smell you, touch what he cannot possess...no matter how many universes there may be.

A flood of tears cracked down your face at his words, yet you couldn’t be helped.

No matter what he would say - he looked just like him.

And that was enough for you to feel alive after such a long time of being a walking dead. There had to be a reason you landed right at his home, of all places in this universe. You had a connection, both of you felt it ever since you had been transported here.

"May I ask-” you disrupted yourself, awaiting some reaction. But the conqueror had seemed to have spoken what he thought important to say, not declining your question at all.

Whenever he seemed fit, he could disintegrate you - yet right now, this situation was way too intriguing.

“What happened to myself in this reality?”

Loki swallowed harshly, letting go off of you as he threw you down the stairs. He wouldn’t even bide you one look as he tried to surpress the turmoil of emotion still running through his veins, desperately keeping it from breaking free.

The outcome would always be the same: Suffering, for both of you.

“And if death was coming for you

I’d give my life for you.”

He only ever wanted it to stop hurting. To become unfeeling, since love had always been poisoning his mind, sometimes being gifted with it even though he knew he would never be worthy of anything else than disgust and hate.

And that contradiction caused him to throw away anything good that happened to him, through you. Let it be taken away from him just shortly after finally learning to remotely enjoy.

You deserved the truth, a reason to hate him even more than you probably already did.

Had you only come to his salvation earlier, then he might have been helped - yet now, he was beyond redemption. Broken. Sick. Dangerous.

And when the Chitauri dragged you away, his last words let your blood run cold:

“She died through my hands.”

_____

If you want to get on the taglist (or deleted from lmao) feel free to ask! ♡

Feedback is always appreciated!

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Loki x You #Loki Laufeyson #Loki x Y/N #Loki / Reader #Loki / You #TW #Writing #Self Insert #Fanfiction..God of Mischief #Multiverse #Asgard #Midgard #Disney #Marvel #Avengers

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dekalko-mania · 3 years

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Why does Birch Tree draw and describe his 20 yo Danny as if he were already on the brink of maturity ?

Like his 25 yo Danny sketches make him look like he's got accelerated aging, 12 houses under his belt, and a penchant for Facebook mom or fitness "on the grind" posts

Sir Birdman, I don't where you've been but 20 year olds definitely do not know wtf they're doing. He describes older Danny as if he's already got his shit together, and is this absolutely perfect ghost fighter just because he's in his 20's

Literally who put it into older creator's minds that "coming of age" experiences stop once you hit your 20s? So many 20 yos are literally just trying to find themselves and getting by. My younger sister went on campus with me and literally asked "why does everyone look tired and done?" Cause they are bro, everyone's stuck in limbo between their teen years and adult ones. People are trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

What I'm getting at is, the og 14 yo Danny was made pretty relatable to kids his age when the show came out, all things considered. He dealt with bullies, plummeting grades, having crushes, etc.

20 yo Danny should be the same. He should still be relatable, even if he is a super-powered half ghost. He shouldn't look and act like he's got his shit together because that's just not realistic to most people his age

Heck give me college Danny or something. How does he deal with fighting ghosts on top of not flunking his classes, switching majors, not getting enough sleep, being head of astronomy club, having a part time job, figuring out wtf he wants to do, etc. Does he want to fight ghosts the rest of his life? Will he find an alternative means of dealing with them more diplomatically? Is he okay with dropping all dreams of becoming an astronaut to continue being Phantom? Is dropping it going to leave an unfulfilled void in him for the rest of his life or is he going to come to accept it?

And what about his parents? No matter what happy ending he's trying to paint, you don't just drop 20+ years of prejudice just like that. Is there still some animosity between them and Danny over the topic of ghosts? Are they learning and adapting? Will they just go along with what he says or will they want to force Danny to fit into the ghost fighting mold they've always lumped their children into now that they know he's actually very capable?

What about Sam and Tucker? Birch makes it seem like it'd be so easy and expected of them to always be on Team Phantom. Didn't they have other dreams or aspirations too? What are they giving up to continue fighting ghosts?

Tucker has been shown before to feel insecure because he's always treated as the sidekick. How have these feelings developed? Have they addressed it among friends? He has to figure himself out too. And Sam-she's an activist at heart. Is she going to give up on that to be part of Team Phantom 24/7? Is she going to try juggling both? Are her overbearing parents REALLY okay with her pursuing this path? When they see she's continuing even as an adult, will they begin to financially manipulate her as many rich parents do, or will they let her go her own way?

How has growing older caused the trio to react? Are they splitting apart since each have aspirations that don't exactly coincide? Are they trying to make it work? At what point did they realize that hunting ghosts at 14 is not the same as doing it when they become adults? And at what point did they also realize that taking on this battle so young has made their path to growing up so profoundly different from the rest of their peers? And what about Jazz wanting to be a psychiatrist? Will she continue that path or meld it with ghost hunting? She mentioned in Reality Trip that she feels overshadowed by her parents obsession with ghosts. Do their parents now pay more attention to Danny (even if it's not in a positive way) than her and make her feel more isolated in her own family?

All these things are extremely important. They STILL have to be finding themselves and dealing with shit in their 20s. Danny will most definitely 100% not be the perfect superhero stereotype just because he's a bit older. And while we're on the topic, Birch has a habit of making every other character's lives revolve completely on Danny. Yes he's the protagonist, but that's just not realistic either. They're their own characters so please take the time to flesh them out well and not just assign them a role and say "so this is Danny's sidekick."

I'm saying all this as someone in their early 20s who's tired at how the media portrays us lmao. Social media as well sometimes portrays 20s as already having to have accomplished something huge. And if you haven't, you're falling behind or you're a loser. As if we don't have enough pressure on us already.

Also whoever told these writers 20s are mature briefcase users is the biggest liar on the planet. Literally my 3rd year of college half the fucking campus gathered around a fountain waving their phones around because rumor spread that a rare Pokémon was there. Shenanigans never stop bruh

If the show idea were ever to be picked up, they gotta add these things to 20s DP characterization or its just not realistic. Js.

Anyway, rant over lmao

#danny phantom #danny fenton #shenanigans and life crisis still continue in your 20s yall #did i go off this hard about a non existent continuation of danny phantom #yes i did and what about it 🤧#literally saw tv as a kid and rememberes thinking damn im gonna have all my shit together once i hit 18 #ima have a house and be doing so good and be rich #current me @ past me: no tf u aint bitch #and neither are these fictional characters 😤😤😤😤

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caffeinatedseri · 3 years

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Murakami and Ranpo

Some minor spoilers ahead for the third BSD LN, The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency." If you aren't concerned with spoilers, I did my best with summarizing the plot for anyone who hasn't read the novel.

In the third BSD LN, Fukuzawa and Ranpo are tasked with finding the culprit of an ominous death threat at a theatrical play. The threat is written as follows:

“An angel shall bring death, in the truest sense of the word, to the performer. —V.”

This threat fits perfectly with the play, which is a mystery play where each character gets killed by an "angel" who murders. However, the characters don't know if they're being killed by an angel or a regular person, because there's nothing supernatural about their causes of death (getting stabbed by a knife, poison, strangulation, etc.).

Each character was a former angel who had been banished from the celestial world, because they admired humans so much that God turned them into humans. Therefore, the characters in the play believed that an angel was sent after them to punish them for their sins.

This sets up two mysteries for us to follow:

1. The mystery of the real death threat, sent by "V" — who is the culprit behind it, who will they kill, and why?

2. The mystery within the play — is it an angel or real person killing each character, and why?

Paradoxes (and Things That Don't Make Sense)

The play is called, "The Living World is a Dream, the Nocturnal Dream is Reality," which is a quote from the real Edogawa Ranpo's work, but I couldn't find the exact source. The title proposes a paradox: reality is a dream, and dreams are reality.

Several other paradoxes present themselves in the story, but they appear most prominently in Ranpo's big speech where he solves the mystery of the play, and the murder simultaneously:

“The murder and the play’s story are connected on a deep level. This play reversed the tide of the narrative. A group of fallen angels tried to return to the heavens, but the angel of judgment tried to stop them. Meanwhile, the angel’s judgment was but a show, and the supposed victim, a human, faked it. The angel’s and humans’ roles were reversed, switching the judge and the judged. That’s the kind of play this was. "

"...the narrative is in reverse. Our structures have been swapped along with the victim and killer as well. In other words—he isn’t the killer, but a victim."

This reveal subverts the original expectation that the plot would follow two separate mysteries. Instead, the lines are blurred between reality and fiction, killer and killed, and dreams and reality because now the two mysteries are intertwined.

I think this part of the story is deliberately written to be confusing (or at least not very clearly explained) as to fit in with the themes found in Murakami's writing.

Who is Murakami?

Haruki Murakami is a famous Japanese author, and you may have read some of his famous works, "Norwegian Wood" and "Kafka on the Shore."

Since this is Bungou (Literary) Stray Dogs, Murakami makes an appearance in this light novel as the main actor of the play.

Before I go on to explain Murakami's role in the novel, I'll give a brief background on his real counterpart and explain how the theatrical play in the novel reflects the real Murakami's work.

Murakami writes in the genre of "magical realism", where the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred as magical elements are seamlessly incorporated into the story. I'll be using "Kafka on the Shore" as the main example for this point, since it's a great example of Murakami's expertise in magical realism.

In "Kafka on the Shore," there are 2 interrelated plot lines, alternating with each chapter, similar to the 2 supposed mysteries outlined at the beginning of the novel.

Like its moniker, "Kafka on the Shore" resembles a "Kafkaesque" style of writing due to its surreal elements that are bizarre and illogical in the rules of reality.

In an interview about this novel, Murakami said:

"Kafka on the Shore contains several riddles, but there aren't any solutions provided. Instead, several of these riddles combine, and through their interaction the possibility of a solution takes shape. And the form this solution takes will be different for each reader. To put it another way, the riddles function as part of the solution. It's hard to explain, but that's the kind of novel I set out to write."

The Outcome of the Play

In theme with Murakami's bizarre, magical-realism writings, several illogical events take place within the span of the LN:

1. Before the play even starts, Murakami (the character) and the rest of the cast completely disregard the death threat. Even though the logical and safe solution would be to reschedule the play, it is a very literal representation of "the play must go on" mindset.

2. Murakami gets stabbed mid-sentence, on stage by a white blade that magically disappears.

3. Murakami bleeds real blood and has no pulse, which would signify his death, but he doesn't actually die.

Despite all this, Ranpo is extremely good at observing various elements of a situation and putting them together to form a solution, much like how the interactions of "Kafka on the Shore"'s riddles form their own solution.

Ranpo appears on stage and makes an Oscar-worthy performance out of his announcement that reveals Murakami to be the culprit behind his own death. It doesn't make much logical sense that Murakami would fake his own death for a performance, but rather it's an action motivated by pure passion.

“I…,” muttered Murakami in almost a whisper. He raised his voice and continued, “I am an actor! I become someone I am not and live a life that doesn’t exist! My job is to expose what it means to be human! It doesn’t matter if I play the lead part or a minor part. It doesn’t matter if I am a villain or hero. I become them with every part of my body! There is no other job for me! This is the only way I can live!”

And here, Murakami reveals the final paradox of the play:

"But there is one thing that cannot be avoided while acting on the stage of life, and that is death! Death is not the opposite of life; it is life’s symbol and banner. However, it also provides a great paradox! Nobody alive has ever experienced it! That’s why to me, the greatest job of all would be performing the death of a person. Not death as a device or a mere convention, but real death that I could convey to the audience. That was the pinnacle of theatrical performance to me. And this is the outcome of my toil."

Murakami eventually gets arrested for the fake death threat and deceiving the police, among other things. The most notable moment after this comes in Ranpo's dialogue to Murakami:

“I thought you were amazing,” Ranpo suddenly said from behind as Murakami was being taken away. “I didn’t quite understand all of it myself, but I don’t think it’s something that just anyone could do. By the way, take a look at the audience. Look at their faces.”

1. Ranpo sees Murakami's act as something admirable, most likely because Ranpo appreciates a good mystery and had fun solving it.

2. Ranpo tells Murakami to look at the audience, to which he turns around and sees the faces of a broken audience who came to watch a play and instead witnessed a real not-so-real murder.

“You said your job was entertainment, right? But could you really call it that…when you look at their expressions?” For the first time, Murakami’s eyes showed a sign of weakness. “…I see.” A small voice, unlike what one would expect from a stage actor with a powerful voice, fell from the stage. “I was…only performing for myself.”

Murakami realizes that he traumatized his entire audience on his quest to reach the "pinnacle of theatrical performance." In his small world that consisted of just the stage, he failed to see the outside world and forgot to consider how his actions would impact others. It's also important to mention that it was Ranpo specifically who pointed it out to him.

The focus on the audience mirrors Fukuzawa's thoughts when Ranpo was giving his big speech before Murakami appeared on the stage:

Fukuzawa was at his wits’ end. From the playgoers’ point of view, the fact that people knew there was going to be a murder beforehand completely changed their view of the situation. Was it really okay to tell them that? But Ranpo showed no concern for the audience’s worries.

Ranpo, throughout the entire novel, is portrayed as this extraordinarily ordinary kid who means well but simply doesn't understand what others are thinking. He was taught that he wasn't special, but this only isolated him into his own tiny world, because the outside world was filled with things he didn't understand.

This leads to him upsetting a bunch of people by blatantly calling out things about them that shouldn't be called out, like the theater's owner Ms. Egawa, and even Fukuzawa at one point.

However, this moment when he calls out Murakami is pivotal because it shows how he's grown from this event. He's learned to be considerate of others. He's seen how he can upset other people with the things he says, and he's learned from that enough to show another person who's trapped in their own individual world.

Although Ranpo is depicted to be somewhat self-centered throughout this novel and even after it, Fukuzawa taught him that he isn't alone in this world. Because Fukuzawa showed compassion to Ranpo, a special fifteen-year-old kid who didn't know better in a world of monsters, Ranpo learned how to exist in a world where he was different from everyone else, and that was okay.

Thank you for reading! If you haven't read this LN yet, I would still highly recommend it because I didn't cover the entirety of the mystery, and it's a wonderful read to understand more about Ranpo and Fukuzawa's backstory.

#bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #bsd ranpo #murakami #bsd light novel #i actually read the LN a while ago #but didn't realize murakami was in it until i finished kafka on the shore

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