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#the boy really does get down that bad
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Please let Astarion meet Tav's family and have a younger sibling like 6 be like im gonna marry the prince points at Astarion.
Tav : Sorry, im married to the prince
NO IM GONNA MARRY THE PRINCE
That's so fucking cute kill me. But I just realized AFTER I finished it I read this wrong 😭😭 I read it as "marry" instead of "married" so whoops now it's an asking for your hand in marriage fic.
Also, I'm going to make this a weird little, unofficial, alternate reality, off shoot of this fic to explain away why Astarion can be in the sun without ascending because I am ~lazy~
Quick summary if you didn't read it, Tav serves Selune, gets a blessing for all the good work, and uses it to cure the anti-light issue of the vampirism (but not all of it). It's not a literal extension of that fic but I'm stealing my own plot explanations. That's it! Now here we go:
~
Astarion wasn't nervous per se. He was just... on edge. And the two-week journey it took to get here wasn't helping things, not when it gave him so much time to ruminate in his thoughts. He never expected to be in the position of "meeting the family," let alone in anticipation for asking for someone's hand in marriage.
Astarion wasn't even quite sure how his life got here. He had always fantasized that a life without Cazador would be one of selfish hedonism, not one where he would be legitimately concerned about a damn six year old sibling's first impression of him.
But then you came along, effortlessly shattering all of his grandiose plans with a batt of your eyelashes. Perhaps the entire journey of falling in love was more complicated, but it felt like it was that simple. In hindsight, he never stood a chance against you, but it was hilarious that there was a time he ever thought he did.
All of his prior dreams and fantasies felt like nothing in comparison to just being with you. It had been a year since you both saved the Sword Coast, a beautiful, fantastic year. That had ended with him somehow more in love with you now than when he first confessed. Selune's blessing had certainly helped with that he was sure. He still couldn't quite believe that you would use a god's blessing on him of all people, but gods, was he appreciative. Because being able to walk in the sun again meant that he could live the life he wanted, with no restrictions. He could be the partner you deserved, the kind that a father would happily say yes to when asking for your hand.
Which brought him back to his current dilemma. Perhaps he hadn't seen any of your family members in the time you'd been together, but he had heard plenty. You loved them all to death, especially your little sister. You wrote to them constantly, the mere sight of a letter from your parents enough to put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. He was aware that your mother was supposedly a saint, a fact that your own father had instilled in you often. He knew that they had a wonderful, loving marriage and were both higher ups in the Church of Selune. A fact that Astarion didn't particularly enjoy.
As grateful to the moon goddess as he was, he was aware that you were an expectation to the very normal belief that vampires were bad. And that marrying one was one of the stupidest things you could ever do from an average person's perspective, let alone a Selunite.
Why you hadn't done the smart thing and lied about what he was, Astarion would never know. But he did know that the thought of their rejection over his admittedly sordid history was putting him in a tailspin.
"They're going to love you," You said for the hundredth time, giving his hand a squeeze as you led him up the steps to your childhood home, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart. I promise."
Astarion highly doubted that, but you were already knocking on the front door before he had a chance to argue. The door instantly slammed open, a beaming child already launching themselves at you before Astarion could process what was happening.
But you were more prepared them he was. You effortlessly caught them in your arms, laughing at their excited shouting, "Titi! You're late!"
So this was the famous Arabeth.
"No, I'm not!" You laughed as you settled her on your hip, "And what happened to my little girl's manners huh? You haven't even introduced yourself yet."
The child glanced over at him, like she was just realizing for the first time that someone else was standing over there. She looked a little shocked at the sight of him, staring at him with wide eyes. Wide enough for Astarion to start to wonder if something was on his face.
He gave her a little wave only for her to bury her face into your shoulder, peeking out at him with her lips pursed. Which was not the best start to the whole making his darling's family actually like him plan.
"Well, as you've probably guessed this is Arabeth. She's just a little shy," You reassured as you stepped inside, muttering a quick invitation inside under your breath. He appreciated that, he didn't need the whole house to be reminded of his... limitations.
"But she'll get over it soon enough," You continued as you called into the house, "Mom? Dad? We're here!"
And just like that they were rushing into the room, acting just as excited as your sister had been. Your mother wasted no time in smothering your face with kisses while your father swept you up into a hug. It was a rather impressive display of coordination, considering how they hadn't managed to knock you and your sister to the floor in the process. Astarion was pretty sure they were both saying something along the lines of We missed you! But it was hard to tell with all of you so tangled up in each other.
It was heartwarming to see, in all honestly. Of course such a loving person would come from an equally loving family, what else would he expect?
Though he certainly hadn't been expecting for your mother to throw her arms around him next. She brought him into a tight hug before looking him up and down, "So you're Astarion huh?"
She turned back to you, grinning ear to ear with her hands set on Astarion's shoulders, "He's so handsome! Selune help us, do you remember the last boy you brought home? He had a nose the length of my arm-"
"And that's enough of that," You said with a strained laugh, pulling your eccentric mother back a few inches, "And we've talked about the impromptu hugs. What happened to asking for permission?"
"Sorry, sorry!" She said with a wave of her hand, "Let me try again. I'm Seliras, and this is my husband-"
"Marcoul," Your father interrupted, putting his hand out for Astarion to shake, "It's been awhile since we've met a boyfriend."
"He's a little more than that," You said with a sigh as everyone exchanged pleasantries.
"We'll be the judge of that," Marcoul said with a sharp but friendly grin, the grip he had on Astarion's hand briefly tightening before he let go, "From what we've heard, you're quite the character aren't you?"
Ah, so the interrogating was starting early then. It was nothing that Astarion hadn't expected. Besides, turning up the charm was his strong suit, even when he was uncharacteristically nervous.
Astarion smiled back at him, "You've heard right. And I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have."
"Oh gods please don't say that," You groaned, but it was too late. Your parents were already leading him to sit, rapid-fire questions coming out of their mouth.
Where are you from? How did you meet? Are you serious about our Tav? What's your religion? Where's your family? What are your plans?
But Astarion answered them all, with only mild censorship for the child's sake. The child who suddenly couldn't stop staring at him. It wasn't exactly easy to sell himself as a future husband when he was a vampiric ex-slave, but he made do.
It was an overwhelming experience to say the least, but not necessarily an unpleasant one. That was one good thing about trying to marry into a family of zealots, it was a lot easier to convince them of your virtue when you received a personal blessing from their goddess.
By the end of the night, they were all throughly appeased, enough so to get off the topic of him for a moment.
"You look a little young to have a thirty-year old child," Astarion said to your mother. He was actively trying to compliment her for obvious reasons, but he was also genuinely curious. She barely looked a day over 40.
"Oh we breed young," She said with a laugh, "We had Tav in our teenage years. Arabeth came much, much later. Our favorite little surprise. Gods, I can't think of a single person in our family who didn't have kids young. Our little Tav is the only exception to the rule."
"But maybe not for much longer, huh?" Marcoul added with a grin, yelping when you lightly smacked him over the head for the comment.
"Do not start the kid talk again!" You hissed out, cheeks red, "We've talked about this!"
Astarion couldn't help but grin at your reaction, charmed by your embarrassment. Though... the idea of the two of you having children together sure was an interesting thought.
Astarion felt a tug on his sleeve while you were distracted arguing with your parents. He turned, smiling when he saw your little sister standing there, still staring at him with wide-eyes.
She took a deep breath before blurting out, "You look like a prince. Are you?"
"Not exactly," Astarion said with a small laugh. That couldn't be further from the truth, "There's no blue blood in my veins."
She frowned, cocking her head at him like he wasn't making any sense. But then an idea obviously struck her as she excitedly asked, "But if you married a princess, then you'd become a prince too. Right?"
"I suppose?" Astarion answered with a shrug.
"So if I become a princess, and I marry you, then you'll be a prince?"
This conversation was quickly becoming out of his depth. But luckily enough for him you were swooping in to save him.
You laughed at her question, turning your attention back to the two of them, "No offense Bethy, but I'm going to be the one marrying this particular prince."
But Arabeth wasn't having it. She crossed her arms, looking at you like she was the one talking to a child, "You can't. Because if I don't marry him, he won't be a prince. So there. I have to do it."
She looked so serious, her facial expressions incredibly similar to your own. Astarion was holding back a loud laugh as you tried and failed to reason with her, "I can marry him without the royal status-"
"No! I'm marrying the prince!"
Your parents were doing a much worse job at hiding their reactions, both of them opening giggling behind their hands as you came up with a compromise.
"Okay, okay," You said with a sigh, kneeling down to look the small girl in the eye, "How about this? I marry him first. But only until you become a princess. Then he's all yours. Sound fair?"
She thought about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "Sounds fair."
Well Astarion wasn't going to get a better set-up then that. He turned to your father, his nerves coming back for a brief appearance, "I'm assuming now might be a good time to ask what I came here to ask. Though I do promise I only intending on asking for one of your children's hand in marriage."
Marcoul nodded slowly, his face unreadable as he spoke, "I mean no offense when I say this Astarion, but you aren't exactly who I imagined for my daughter."
"Dad don't-"
"Darling, let him finish," Astarion gently interrupted, his eyes still locked with your father's.
He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That said, I've never seen her so... herself with someone else before. So yes. The two of you can marry. On one condition."
"Anything," Astarion said instantly, nearly giddy at the fact that he was so close to the official yes, "Just name it."
"You have to have the wedding here," Seliras answered for him, a massive smile on her face, "No ifs, ands, or buts."
"And I get to be flower girl!" Arabeth chimed in, her past indignation completely forgotten as she climbed all over you, "And there has to be chocolate cake!"
"Oh gods, help us," You groaned, but Astarion was already nodding along. He couldn't give less than two shits where it happened or who was involved. He could scarcely believe that it was happening at all. But that was the last thing he had needed.
He already had the ring, the most amazing person he could ever fathom being with. Who actually wanted him back.
Now all he had to do was ask.
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feline-evil · 2 months
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Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.
But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.
WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE
I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I LOVE TOKI'S LEMON EATING CHALLENGE HES ON IN THIS EP. BABY YR STRANGE AND PECULIAR#pickles being insecure abt balding is funny too. my man has chosen a hairstyle that is actively making that worse for himself#buddy if u didnt have whiteguy dreads impromise yr hair wld be healthier. but we love u for yr octopus swag anyway <3#also hi nathan dont listen to the tv listen to me you look great. hi hello. im unsheathing my sword to cut down anyone who makes u feel bad#EVERYBODY IN UNIVERSE IS A COWARD. ITS BIG BOY SEASON. COME GET U ONE#dethvanity isnt in my list of favs i think most its humour is rlly easy lowballs but i find it funny for reasons outside of that#which is namely the show trying to make charavters insecure abt things when they absolutely are not any other time lmao#trying to find things to make skwis and toki insecure abt but theres NOTHING. ITS RLLY FUNNY#listen. putting my hand on everyones shoulder. lets not ignore the elephant in the room this show is uh#OFTEN VERY FATPHOBIC. so its no bastion of rep just cuz it doesnt take all the pot shots it cld at nathans body#it still does take some and theres plently of fatphobia outside of nathans character#but i do like that nathan is a bigger guy and outside of a few eps thats just treated as smth fine! its not remarked on outside of those!#and i think his body is drawn really well and i like that hes permitted to be sexy and to be like. seen with his body out just as much#as like anyone else in the band. like yeah duh nathan explosion is sexy in universe ppl are rocking with this. AS THEY SHOULD BE#idk like i say. not denying the show its fatphobia just saying i like how nathan is treated and portrayed a lot of the time :]
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tigergendermoved · 7 months
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Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about
#do NOT quote me on those numbers i pulled them straight out of my ass#like the ending was rushed and the diamonds didnt get to be fully developed but liek#the whole reason that was the case is there was an entire 6th season planned#and then the show got axed early because rebecca sugar and crew refused the back down on the rupphire wedding.#and even rushedness aside like the point of the show was never that you should hug fascists and forgive people no matter what#the diamond were rose's (and his) dysfunctional family whose personal suffering became the basis for the cruelty of gem society#bismuth in The Real World would have been right to want to kill the diamonds as a force of revolution#but the point of the show is that even the most complicated people are still people who can change. even if you dont forgive them#even steven quartz universe the most loving boy in the world very obviously does not like being around the diamonds. but that is how it is#it was a children's show that emphasized compassion and communication and family as themes. of course steven didnt kill the diamonds lol#i really fully believe the stevenbomb format (which was not the crew's choice or fault) cooked peoples' brains#you had months between major arcs so every wrongdoing by a character had months to be warped and misinterpreted and so no resolution could#ever satisfy fans who were festering with their own opinions for way too long#like these arcs looking back are not that long and they resolve in fairly reasonable manners but they took fuckin forever in real time to#wrap up#and ppl on the internet with no other hobbies than arguing made the fandom suck to be in and gave su a bad name#even if you dont like steven universe i think the amount of vitriol thrown at the show is/was fucking INSANE for what it is lmaooo#people were so so jolly to accuse rebecca sugar (a jewish lady) of being a fascist/fash sympathizer and paint every writing shortcoming or#morally dubious character action as a sign of pure fuckin evil#ok that was a long ass fuckin rant in the tags i am so sorry i'm just kind of opinionated on this matter as i am all matters#i've been rewatching su with my dad lately and this very normal and well paced and fun watchthrough experience has been illuminating#just how insane and uncalled for the hellish discourse sphere around su was/is#i say was/is i have no idea what su discourse is like nowadays. i'm too scareds to look in the su crit tag
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pettyprocrastination · 10 months
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thinking about a super hero who was once praised by all and treated like an absolute rock star: constant groupies, interviews, sponserships, endless fans every where that is now a washed-up “has been” despite the fact he can still punch through reinforced steel and rip aliens apart with his bare hands. He has a regular human assistant who puts him in his place and is absolutely detrimental to his mental health (he is so fucked up in the head <3)
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myplasticadversary · 4 months
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Was thinking about the girl Paul/boy John concept again with her being mostly gay and withholding sex to have control and him getting insecure and impatient, and I realize I've basically wound up recreating the plot to Norwegian Wood
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Megumi’s life in ur “tsumiki and megumi are seperated” AU is super fucked. Does Gojo secretly put him on supervillain watch. Does he try to give him the worst counselling anyone has ever seen.
Worse he keeps trying to become Megumi’s New Dad and Megumi cannot emphasize enough how much he does not want him to do this. Why does Gojo keep asking him to throw a baseball with him. Why does he keep trying to ruffle his hair.
#Gojo tried to give him The Talk and megumi immediately turned around and tried to walk into traffic#because he’s the funniest motherfucker that ever was in any universe#it’s important to note that Megumi’s life in that AU is super fucked but almost no one knows the scope of it#megumis taking that shit to his grave#hes finally in a better place and he really really does not want anyone else to know about what he considers a really humiliating experience#he hates feeling weak is the thing and no one has ever made him feel weak the way his family did#he didn’t have any power over his own life and it was /humiliating/#everyone else had normal childhoods and there he was being micromanaged so excessively that he wasn’t allowed to bathe and dress himself jn#until fucking high school. and even then it was only because the Zenin couldn’t hassle him at school#like it’s super obvious to everyone that the Zenin abused him but#no one knows just how bad it was#tsumiki knows he made some kind of deal so the Zenin would take care of her but he refuses to tell her what it was because he doesn’t want#to admit he tried to hurt himself. he doesn’t want her to know how bad it got.#maki knows better than anyone but 1) she doesn’t know most of it and 2) she’s not telling anyone about it either. Megumi’s her boy. she’s#not betraying his already fragile trust by airing out his business to other people#it’s sort of painfully obvious the Zenin used to beat him but no one talks about it. Megumi would shut down if anyone tries#like his life was sort of terrible and he didn’t see it getting better but somehow it did and he just wants the past to die#he wants what happened to be dead and buried and over and he knows it’s far from it but he just. he doesn’t want anyone to know.
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dirtytransmasc · 8 months
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Hi!!!!
Do you have any hcs for how Alicole would try and solve and argument with the kids? Like, their dynamic (especially Aegon with Alicole cause he’s the oldest) is just so interesting and I’ve always wondered how an argument/disagreement would play out with them
ooh, tasty concept.
with arguments amongst the children, they try and get them to take a step back. they'll each take a kid (or two if it involves all of them) and give them a hug or something of the like, easing the tensions, before helping them come to some sort of compromise or agreement.
when it comes to non petty arguments that every child has, the source of issues amongst the kids is the following;
with Aegon they have to settle his need to compensate for feeling as though he is lacking. he tends to pick on his siblings when he's feeling down on himself. so it's a lot of affirming words and hugs while also chiding his cruel behavior. he's definitely hard on himself about being cruel as well, he doesn't like being mean it just sorta comes out of him when he's not in good spirits about himself. he shoves his siblings away over little things when he's upset which only makes him feel worse in the long run. the whole situation makes it hard to parent, as it's not right how he treats his siblings at times, but it's also awful how he feels and how it presents itself. there's typically long talks after the fact. Aegon's usually in his dad's arms, more often than not, while he mom comforts him.
with Aemond it's cooling his temper and frustration, deep breaths and grounding. they remind him that he can't let every jab get a rise out of him, that he always had them to turn to when he needs help, that he's not alone to handle his anger. they try and learn more and more each time, what triggers his anger, what helps him calm down, what to avoid, etc. sometimes he needs to just be held other times he needs a moment alone to breathe. they also try and help him learn how to self regulate and also make his siblings aware that he's getting upset prior to him lashing out (they also talk to them about it).
with Helaena, arguments tend to be because she thinks so differently from her brothers. not only is she a girl in a house of boys, but also because she's autistic (I was the autistic 'sister' in a house of boys for most of my life, it definitely brewed some unique arguments, and I'm gonna project god damn it), their ways of thinking and doing are so different sometimes that she just loses it. so with her, they let her talk, they let her ramble and decompress until she can ground herself, then they have to try and explain the boys point of views, how they see may not be the right way, nor is hers, neither are, but they have to learn to agree. then it's hugs and kisses and talking it out, before they go back to hashing it out with the boys.
Daeron's the most agreeable with the siblings, very adhd coded in my mind (so I'm going to project my brother onto him cause they're very copy pasted in my mind) so when he gets into an argument it's because he's going too fast, too passionate, and/or too much. so again, like most of their children, it's grounding first talking later. like Helaena, they have to explain that the way he is isn't bad or wrong, but that's sometimes we need to slow down, take a breath, cool off, and than continue.
with arguments they take their kids separately, normally separated into different rooms and they visit them together. depending on the exact situation they may just offer hugs and softness, or they'll play a slight game of good cop/bad cop, though they're careful with it. the goal is to solve the problem, not slap a bandaid on it. they tend to each kids needs before handling the actual issue at hand and then being them together to find a solution.
they can both be soft and stern in their own ways. Cole is typically softer on them, as he gets to their levels, takes them close while talking, but he has a stern voice and makes it clear he's willing to put a foot down if need be. while Alicent tends to be a bit more formal and stereotypically authoritative, sitting at the table with them, even if she holds their hands in hers and pulls their chairs close so she can stroke their cheeks.
normally the kids can make right up, or at least come to peaceful terms, but if it doesn't, cause kids can hold grudges like no one's business, Alicent and Cole are forced to remain wholly neutral which is much harder than one would think. most of their fights that lead to grudges are very childish so it's really just waiting for them to crack and realize it was a stupid argument. this is made easier when they don't get involved, so they just laugh amongst themselves where the kids can't see them, and try and keep face in front of them (they can smell weakness and betrayal. send help. a 4 kids household isn't easy). they definitely have moments where they wave the white flag cause one of the kids accused them of siding. the "get along" shirt is also an active and well worn member of the family (Aegon and Aemond share it often)
this video is very much Aegon and Daeron. they feud often. they're either acting like Aegon is a second dad to him, or they are actually going to war and have been sworn enemies for generations, fighting a battle to honor their forefathers (Alicent and Criston are so tired). speaking of Aegon being a second dad, he definitely oversees a lot of arguments between Daeron and his friends... does he understand little kid drama? no. is it entertaining as all hell? you fucking bet, he wants to hear all about what little James did at daycare.
when the kids are arguing with them, which with the way they run the house is pretty rare, but not impossible, they first take a step back for themselves. they will never show anger or cruelty towards their kids, so they make sure they're ok before they even think about talking to their kids.
talking will always be their goal, they never want to use threats or punishments to get what they want from their kids, and they have different ways about it. because their kids know how their household works, that things work on their time, and that just being open and honest, they really just need a day or two to themselves, if the reason for arguing isn't time sensitive, and then they can just take it out.
Aegon is sulky, he just closes himself in his room or flees to a friend's house (which they let happen so long as he leaves a note, leaves his location on his phone, and checks in every few hours) if its really bad. he'll drag himself back to the kitchen table in 48 hours tops, wanting nothing more than for his mom and dad to love him again (they never stopped).
Aemond is just frustrated past reason, so he'll go out and fence with his dummy or just something physical, then he's more willing to listen to reason.
Helaena normally had a boundary or nerve pushed, which was normally accidental, either cause she was already frustrated with something or something changed and it just put both parties in bad positions. space is all she needs.
Daeron is a bit of all the above. he's sensitive, though hard to cross, its often more about other things, something his parent did just broke the camels back, so a long run brings everything back to reason.
Alicent and Criston care so much about their kids, every argument they have with their kids, typically one-sided as they refuse to truly yell, breaks their heart whether or not they did anything or not. they never plan to punish their kids for arguing, they were kids once and they know that its good that they feel safe enough to stand up and fight for what they believe to be true, that they feel safe to shout and disagree with them. they would rather that over anything else, cause they know their kids trust them.
while they aren't permissive with their kids, their are rules and hard limits, they don't count arguing as something to be punished, and their kids don't tend to strand into punishable territories. so resolving a fight is a long talk at the kitchen table, no man's land so to speak, where all parties air their grievances. the problem is discussed, apologies are said on all sides, and sometimes it doesn't always end in a hug, but it does end in feelings being soothed and bridges mended. no one walks away with hard feelings.
they're not perfect, but they make it work, and because they've put so much time and effort into making their home safe and sane, the whole family in therapy, making active efforts to be nothing like their first "home" true arguments are far and few between, and when they happen they're equipped to handle it. Alicent and Cole are such good parents, their kids love and trust them, theirs so much space to talk and negotiate and handle issues early on that there typically isn't any reason to fight. I think that's what makes them such a good family, cause its so hard for me to picture them actually fighting outside of petty things.
#I genuinely cannot picture this family fighting#like petty things between the kids or teenage angst hurled at Alicent and Criston that they laugh about a few hours later most definitely#they wouldn't be a family otherwise#but I think that real arguments are rare and I love that for them#definitely strived to find the balance between gentle and authoritative parenting so their kids are well structured#handle all of their problems when they were little and now most issues are easy#cyclebreakers fr fr#they're also all mommy/daddy's girls and boys#all their fights are just big feelings that need to be rode out#Aegon yelling at Criston cause he's young and dumb and hurting cause he got his heart broken at school or cause he had to think about#dead dumb dad and his teenage heart is angry and he needs to put it somewhere? I think yes. I also think he cried in his arms a few hours#later and begged for his dad to love him again. cause they're hopeless#Helaena losing her mind at her parents cause she's just so stressed and everything'd out by the world and they just happened to breathe the#wrong way at dinner? again. I think yes. and she felt so bad afterward and goes on a whole vent about school and people and does some DPT#after letting them both hug her really tight so she could calm down#Aemond getting frustrated cause they're “babying” him over the loss of his eye and just ending up a sobbing screaming mess cause he's just#so mad at the world and he doesn't know what to do with himself#Daeron's head getting too loud so he gets super upset and disregulated and starts yelling in his room. not even at them directly until they#come in. he just loses his shit for a minute until he's tuckered out and then he's a mess in his parents arms#teenage angst is a bitch and the source of everyone's problems#alicole#alicent hightower#criston cole#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#daeron targaryen#pro team green#hotd
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callixton · 2 months
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i do not think i have ever pined for something so unequivocally impossible to ask for is the thing. like i think i often am interested in unobtainable people bc it is easier that way & it stays safe inside & i don’t have to navigate the reality/(a)romance. and ig this is. sort of like that. but it is worse.
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mighty-poop · 7 months
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Define a woman!
I’m gonna rant this here cus this argument keeps returning on the clock app and one day, I’m gonna be stupid and leave a comment in the wrong thread or smthn so I’m just gonna get it out of my system:
“How do you define a ‘woman’?”
Answer for idiots: you can’t.
You cannot possibly make a definition for the term ‘woman’ without excluding someone from the group when they clearly ARE part of the group (even if you’re a piece of shit transphobe and don’t want to include trans women). A woman is someone who has the potential to give birth? You just excluded every child before puberty, every infertile woman and every woman on menopause, next. A woman is someone who has a uterus? You just excluded a bunch of intersex women and all women who had a hysterectomy, next. A woman has a period? Excluded the millions of women who never get their period for various reasons AND all the women who take continuous birth control AND women who are pregnant AND again, little girls and women on menopause. A woman has to have XY chromosomes? Are you gonna check that for every feminine-looking person you’re gonna meet? How? Do you not think women with down syndrome are women?
Decades of feminism working so hard to make sure women are more than their genitals and potential to give birth, all flushed down the drain because you refuse to believe trans women are more than men in wigs? You’re weak as shit.
So answer for people who actually want to use their brain:
Woman is defined through experiences. Which experiences? Entirely up to whoever defines themselves as a woman.
The ‘female experience’ is so broad. You cannot possibly define it in one sentence and stick it on everyone who calls the word ‘woman’ their own.
You feel feminine and empowered by doing your nails? Congrats, that’s the female experience and makes you, therefore, a woman.
You feel feminine and empowered by wearing plaid and splitting wood in two with a giant axe? Congrats! Female Experience. Woman.
You feel feminine in a dress? Woman. You feel feminine in a tux and suit? Woman.
You feel empowered as a mother and love being pregnant? Woman! You despise the idea of being pregnant but find empowerment in your career? Woman! You feel like your period makes you more in tune with your femininity? Woman. You feel like your period makes you less than human and getting a hysterectomy makes you feel more comfortable in your body? Woman.
you love long hair? Woman. You love short hair? Woman.
You love loving men? Woman. You love loving women? Woman. You love both? Woman. You love everyone? Woman. You don’t feel like love is your thing? Woman!
Sitting at home with a good movie and a bottle of wine? That’s a woman. Getting bloody in a game of soccer? That’s very woman! Taking a walk with your dog? How very woman! Going to the gym? Such woman! Eating out with friends? Friend woman. Shooting a gun in the yard from the patio you built yourself? All woman!
Whatever the fuck makes you feel in sync with your femininity is your female experience, and if you have female experience and you like it, you are a W O M A N ✨
Same goes for men and the male experience btw! Since the question “what defines a man” is never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER asked for SOME 👀 reason. (We all know the reason….) Also same goes for my fellow enbies and the non-binary experience. If painting your nails bring you closer to your enbie side, you’re non-binary.
Gender is such a deeply personal experience, it’s just dumb to define it for someone else, let alone the entire human species. It’s like asking to define a chair, like, you KNOW what it is but you can’t possibly define it without excluding some chairs (“has at least 4 legs”, that’s a horse also swivel chairs exist).
Sidenote: If some idiot tiktokker shoves a microphone and a camera in your face and goes “WHAT IS A WOMAN” or “HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE” just go along with whatever dumbass scenarios they come up with. “How many genders are there?” “My dude, as many as you want!” “Oh so like 40??” “Yep!” “Can I identify as a helicopter lol?” “Sure, who cares, do it!” “Should I demand everyone at my job calls me a helicopter” “You can go to your local townhouse, request to change your name to ‘helicopter’ and they’ll most likely let you. You’re an adult, you can do whatever you want as long as it’s not hurting others.” “You don’t think it would be dumb of me to do that?” “Why would I care, I don’t know you?”
#Imma get off the clock app for a while again#My fyp is on the wrong side of the argument again#Saw a lot of comments basically boiling down to “you’re delusional and you need to grow up”#Y’all the ones breaking down an entire socio-biological science to just “can u make baby or nah”#And it’s always under videos of enbies with really Out There fashion senses who have Such Trouble talking on the spot#Or who clearly have trouble explaining themselves#And the transphobe eat that shit up like sugar#Cus that’s all we are right#Blue-haired snowflakes who are so confused about our gender experiences that we fumble whenever asked#Like i love y’all fellow enbies with daring fashion but pls be more mean and confident about your identity#“What does that mean being a they/them”#I’m not a woman and I’m also not a man it’s that simple#“Is it that simple?” Yes what are you not understanding do you need me to tell you like a 5 yo?#I’m a brownhaired twink-looking gremlin who dresses like a skater boi who likes musicals and hates make-up and loves books#TRY to define me#Put me in one of your silly little boxes and see what happens#I’m gonna rip the box to shreds until there’s nothing left unless you leave me the fuck alone and let me pee in whichever bathroom i need#I have more pressing matters than worry about you thinking I’m confused but not empathetic enough to wonder why#There’s too much other really bad shit happening in the world for you to wonder if the blue haired young adult deserves to be taken serious
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mothocean · 5 months
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Every time i have a class with this teacher i remember how much i fucking hate her
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amarantoestrella · 4 months
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Feeling like a gross creep for this but work crush got a new haircut and his jawline looks so good I had to very vividly imagining sitting on/riding him and how his jaw looks so nice with his head thrown back and how he would let out a breathy “oh fuck” while he’s looking down at where we connect 🥺
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Love the thought of kiryu losing nishikiyamas lighter fucking instantly after he gave it to him. Like he leaves it in the car and nishiki is nice enough to re-gift it to him when they meet up again and then two weeks after that whole fiasco kiryu loses it again and nishiki just buys him those cheap packs of like fifty plastic lighters because this is why they cant have nice things and he hates (loves) him so much
#Yakuza loveblog#like as sweet as it is to have kiryu hold on to that thing forecer (his lighter now) i think he really has a problem with commitment. its#not like he doesnt treasure it. he just does a lot of backflips and jumping around and things inevitably fall out of his pockets#i believe in my heart that kiryu is always losing shit and taking nishikis without permission and breaking it sometimes. like yknow#younger brother behaviour. thats why nishikis always hounding him because hes suffered greatly from kiryus whims#his whimsicality. his ability to wander literally everywhere. i think kiryu played truant in school a lot#like very early on he knew it wasnt for him so hed stalk the streets in his school uniform and climb up or under fences and rip up his skirt#and knees and then when he meets up with nishiki and yumi again hes like hey wanna come lepak in this abandoned building i found ? and theyd#be like YEAH !!!! and bring yuko along too because i love her and she should get to cut her arm open on a rusty metal screw and have to be#sent to the hospital as little girls are prone to doing. i love talking about kiryu in his school uniform god .. i really ... like i just#know he would use it to its fullest like i have a very clear image in my minds eye of kiryu as a kid all covered in dirt from climbing into#gardens and dusty old buildings morning to afternoon and carrying cool rocks around in his skirt and when he gathers them all in a pile he#just dusts off his skirt and its literally still covered in dirt and mud and dust but he does not give a shit. like it would literally be#ripped up the back because hes always sliding down concrete slopes and banisters and im sure hes cut his leg open before and just bled.#all over his nice boue uniform and then limped home and soaked it in a bucket to wear tomorrow. like i see kiryu with a lot of free time and#he never does homework and is failing all his classes by choice because he alrrady knows what he wants to do. like hes only failing because#he doesnt show up for exams and hes literally the bad boy that the girls always ask nishiki to introduce them to like omg is kazuko your#sister ?? can you give her this letter ... and nishiki opens it and reads it first and its a love letter and he just gives it to kiryu like#there are hot girls in your area who want you desperately and kiryus like oh. neat. im skipping school again tomorrow btw do not tell oyasan
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
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the-casbah-way · 9 months
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when i wake up after a meltdown im like ok im going to be nice to myself today and then i end up being just as mean to myself in my head as i always am except i’ll also maybe let myself go to bed like an hour earlier as a treat
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caterpillarinacave · 10 months
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I just got first aid called for me out of nowhere, whilst feeling totally fine. Like sorry, but I can’t look that bad right???
#Apparently I do actuallt#I’m at a baseball game to preform and boy do I dislike baseball#And one memeber of my party is talking to a staff member so I go stand by the wall and out of the blue the stafff member starts beckoning m#-with vigor. I’m super confused but I come over assuming she must need to see me for tickets or sometjing#And she takes me by the arm sits me in one of the shady boxed of spot and tells me to sit while she goes and gets first aid#I was like???? And my poor mother is trying to explain I just need to sit but the lady runs off and comes back with two paramedics#Who come back and are all over me#“Here take this ice pack drink that water are you sure you’re okay??? Do you still feel like you’re gonna pass out?”#So now I sit there for twenty minutes with an ice pack and apperenntly my moth does somewhat agree because she’s holding the ice pack on-#My neck when I put it down#But like#i was totally fine#No more dizzy than I am on any given day#I know I’m a little frail very shaky and often have the complexion of a Victorian fever patient but come on#Do I really look so bad that several people took one look at me and thought “medical emergency”#To make it very clear they were so so nice but I was so confused#And stressed which probably didn’t help my composure#Where are these lovley people when I actually am gonna faint???#But like i have no idea how to refuse medical care#Do I instantly start explaining that in autistic and have some disabilities so it’s alright? Do I go with it? Do I just say no?#Help#chronically ill
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firebirdsdaughter · 2 years
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Just…
… Keller claiming that they’d only arrest Neal. Peter would absolutely arrest Keller for trespassing, and Neal wouldn’t even need to make the puppy eyes. Peter is the protective type of dad—even if it’s minor you threaten/endanger his kid he’ll arrest you for something minor or call you out in front of the whole office.
Edit: I am required to update this to say that I completely forgot Peter is literally ready to do just that—on Neal’s word, too.
#White Collar#Peter wats to arrest a guy on distribution so Neal won't be stupid Burke would SO arrest Keller for trespassing#could they hold him?#probably not#but he would#Neal does have puppy eyes specifically reserved for Peter though#they are the 'dad pls don't be mad' puppy eyes#if it weren't for s5 his arc would've been so good#no Neal's not the type to settle down not yet but#you take out the weird characterisations in s5 and you've got a kid whose going into this w/ a new set of morals#you've got a dad who may be less of a by the book sticker#you've got the possibility of a reunion and reconciliation#bc you KNOW Peter's gonna be 4-0 and get his boy back#you've got a world where they can go buddy cop leverage on the world#they can take down the really bad types and maybe there's a few victimless crimes here and there#they can legally adopt him and he has a hime again but also plausible deniability if necessary#it gives it more hope#it's not Neal throwing a hissy fit bc people won't let him do what he wants and impulsively take things#it's him trying to do the right thing by the people he loves in his own way#it's him being not just a thief not just there for the thrill#even if he's been beaten down a bit he knows he's made a difference somewhere and he can again#and as long as he's got Peter and El in his corner in their own way he'll be okay#it coulda been hopeful and beautiful and I def think that's what Tim and Matt interpreted#and I love it that#but s5's oocness ruins it so much#one day I'll be able to just ignore it and imagine it my way but for now I wanna complain#Adopt a Felon 101
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