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bookishgalaxies · 26 days

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𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐬? 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐲 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰!

☾☼✧☽ summary: some Mondstadt girlies helping you through finals

☾☼✧☽ pairing: lisa, jean, amber, and lumine (separate) x gn!reader

☾☼✧☽ type: headcannons, modern-ish au?

☾☼✧☽ warnings: FINALS STRESS

☾☼✧☽ a/n: tried my hand at writing these characters! I’m not taking requests for Genshin characters yet but I probably will soon. In the middle of the forever long Sumeru archon quest rn.

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Lisa ✧

Is she flirtatious? Sure. Is she still an academic weapon from her years at the Akademiya? Certainly!

Lisa would assist you with your studies and review of topics.

She’s definitely one to run flash cards with you over tea and a few pastries.

“Ah, not quite cutie, but you’re close.”

You walk in the library with your shoulders slumped with a list of topics you need reference material for.

But she’s there with a stack of books for the topics you need

“I took a peek at your list and pulled these for you. No sense in you spending all that time searching when I know where they are.”

She would loan you her lucky pen ( quill??) to actually take your exam

Insisting that it got her through many exams successfully at the Akademiya

Definitely slips a relaxing alchemical concoction into your drink before the exam to calm your nerves

“Whether you pass or not, you’re still extra special to me.”

Jean ✧

Jean is adamant about following a healthy work and rest schedule.

She’s setting her watch to ring when you need to take a break and rest your eyes from reader

Insisting you drink a certain amount of water everyday to ensure you are hydrated.

She’s even planning/cooking your meals so your brain can have the proper fuel it needs to function at full capacity.

“I just want you to have everything you need to study well.”

She’s a busy lady, so…..don’t know how much she would actually help you study

Would probably find time to possibly quiz you on material once or twice before your exam

“You did well that time. I marked the areas need to study. I know you’ll do fine with them though.”

Jean will not budge on the fact you aren’t allowed to study or do anything mentally taxing the night before the exam.

She makes you a healthy meal, practically shoves water down your throat, and insists you get to bed early. She even puts her work away and goes to bed early with you.

Amber ✧

Oh Amber, the super encouraging one who is constantly reminding you amazing you are doing

She’ll see you struggling and come behind you to put a hand on your shoulder and say with a smile

“You’ve got it! If anyone can do it, you can.”

She lets you hold Barron Bunny while you study, petting him and scratching behind his ears.

You read quietly to yourself as he curls up in your lap, Amber can’t resist but take a picture so she can remember it forever.

Amber makes you flash cards and helps you go over them too!

She’s definitely one for speed rounds, wanting you be able to recall the knowledge quickly.

“You’ve almost got it! You’ll get it next time though.”

Lumine ✧

Lumine is a calming spirit through the whirlwind of studying and prepping

Imagining she would offer to read some of your material out loud to you if you wish, her voice calming your nerves as every second passes.

Lumine would ask you questions every so often as she read, to make sure you were still with her.

“I think that answer is good…make sure you’re remembering why that happened though.”

Lumine is an excellent cook and wants to ensure you stay fed. Unlike Jean though, she’ll make you whatever you are craving.

Sweet Madame? Done and perfectly cooked. Mushroom Skewer that she doesn’t have ingredients for? She’s out the door going to find the ingredients.

“Paimon thinks the traveler like reading to you so she can be around you.”

Yeah……Paimon may ruin the calming mood sometimes, but she means well!

The night before your exam, Lumine makes you your favorite desert and sets up a nice picnic for you <3

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thank you so much for reading !!

stay hydrated and safe !!

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #lumine x reader #lumine genshin impact #amber x reader #amber genshin impact #jean x reader #jean genshin impact #lisa x reader #lisa genshin impact

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im-gonna-squeet · 8 months

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Donnie burnout fic

Donnie is exhausted and finds themself unable to do the tings they normally can, and knows one person that can always help.

ao3

Donnie was having a bad day. A bad week– a bad month, even.

None of their projects were going right, their joints were acting up, they couldn't sleep properly, they'd gotten injured on what should've been a fairly easy mission, and now, they hardly had the energy to eat or talk.

It wasn't fair. They could usually work for days or weeks uninterrupted — with the exception of sleep and snack breaks, of course, their siblings wouldn't let them neglect themself like that, and they could never turn down Angelo's cooking — and be fine. They could make anything he wanted. So what was different this time?

What had changed?

Why couldn't they do this?

What was wrong with them? And how could they fix it?

Donnie didn't like change, which made such a drastic pivot in their ability all the more distressing (which, in turn, made them feel worse, feeding the cycle like an ouroboros).

Logically, they knew that rest would be the best thing, and they honestly wanted nothing more than a nap, but they couldn't when they were this stressed because they had so much to do. And none of it was going to get done. Because their stupid brain couldn't just function correctly!

There wasn't even that much to do. They ENJOYED doing these things! What was the point if they couldn't even do the one thing they were good for!?

They slammed their newest failure on the desk, breathing hard.

"shit." They winced and rubbed at their watery eyes under their glasses. Closing their eyes, they tried to even out their breathing, snapping them out of that all too familiar spiral.

This wouldn't help. It would only make it worse. They needed to not be alone right now. So they grabbed their phone and texted the first person they thought of.

ctrl + c

Don-Bon: Cn i cme sit w u?

Don-Bon: yes pls, ly

Nardo: yea im in my room

need a portal?

Nardo: ly2

Moments after that last text was sent, a small, vibrant blue portal opened up right in front of them.

They reflexively lowered their third eyelid to shield themself from the brightness.

Once they stepped through, they saw Leo sitting at the corner of his bed, leaning against the wall with one knee to his chest, controller in hand.

Donnie said nothing as they flopped next to their twin, leaning against him with their legs folded over Leon's, softly butting his head with their own.

Returning the headbutt, Leo reached down and pulled a weighted blanket out from beside his bed, wrapping it around his twin. "You okay, hermana?" he asked, not removing his arm and resting his head on top of Donnie's.

Donnie relaxed, glad to have their twin as company. They hesitated slightly before shaking their head, manifesting a small teleprompter screen in front of them. ‘bad. cant talk rn’, it read.

“ok, that's alright, I'm just gonna finish this game and then we can watch something, yea?” Leo rubbed their arm before removing it to continue gaming.

Donnie nodded, slumping further into Leo's side as they watched him play.

~~~~

After Leo finished his game, the twins wordlessly agreed on watching The Great British Baking Show, calm but still fun. Leo grabbed his laptop with one arm, wrapping the other around Donnie before shimmying them both into a lying position.

From there they shuffled around a little, finding the optimal snuggling position, then positioned the laptop at a comfortable angle for both of them.

"This ok?" Leo asked.

Donnie nodded.

After a few minutes, Leo spoke up again, "wanna talk about it?", he ventured.

Donnie took a breath, fiddling with their hands as they deliberated on how to word it.

The teleprompter re-appeared. 'it feels like nothings going right recently. And logically I KNOW that it's not my fault, but I can't help but blame myself, y’know? Im supposed to be the genius, the one that fixes everything. If I can't do that then what CAN I do?'

Leo took a moment to process the message, absentmindedly running his hands over Donnie’s neck and shell in soothing motions. "Tello I know you find this difficult to believe, but you are absurdly intelligent and so good at so many things, i mean you created ACTUAL, SENTIENT AI and are raising him better than our dad raised us, you're incredible in so many ways but you're working yourself too hard, you're burning the candle at both ends and it's unsustainable. Burnouts like these are going to happen when you do this to yourself.”

And Donnie knew these things, of course they did, but it was really really nice to hear it from someone else, especially someone they cared about so much. 'I know and I want to stop but I don't really know how? like i've been doing this for so long i don't know what else to do'

Reading this, Leo leaned over and kissed Donnie on the head, staying in that position whilst he talked, "im proud of you, Dee, we're all so, so proud of you, and we'll help you figure it out. All of us."

At this Donnie felt the prickling of tears in their eyes as their vision blurred. They didn't try to stop a quiet sob from escaping them, 'I love you'

"Aww, Dee, I love you too" Leo wrapped both of his arms around them, holding them close. They stayed like that for a while, Donnie quietly crying his frustrations into Leo's chest as he softly told them how loved and cherished and valued Donnie is to everyone they know.

And after a while, Donnie calmed, and Leo asked a question he already knew the answer to, "Do you wanna invite Apes over for a movie night tomorrow?"

Donnie nodded, already thinking about what movies to watch and meticulously going over every detail.

"Good, but for now, how about we watch some idiots bake and you can tell me exactly what they're doing wrong?". Donnie grinned, wiping the stray tears from their face as they prepared to make Leo regret ever suggesting that.

reblogs > likes

#disaster twins #rottmnt #leonardo hamato #donatello hamato #hurt/comfort #nonbinary donatello #nonbinary donnie #disabled donatello

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halinski · 11 months

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Another thought for when you're awake but: in 1x04 when Derek has wolfsbane poisoning and it's portrayed EXACTLY the same as sensory overload is always portrayed and I think that's when the possibility of Stiles becoming his anchor was first seeded, like his brain latched onto him like "this one = safe" "this one will do anything for you, even cut your arm off if you only ask him". JUST. THESE TWO.

!!!

i just keep thinking in general werewolves = a lot like neurodivergents or autistics, bc spd is a lot like the heightened senses. I related to that soooooo much back when i watched in my teens without even realizing how much the spd impactdd me and what it was exactly. Just like, whenever they were distracted by sounds, bc they hear everything at once, pencils scratching and everyone's conversations at once, even someone talking outside, and then theschool bell is so shrill it fucking HURTS

or when you're having a meltdown and the only way to make it through is to resort to pain to somehow manage it, bc you're already in mental agony

the werewolfness is such a natural part of you, just like autism, and it allows Derek and the wolves to connect to the world in such an innate way like you said. It's without words, without a concrete human way to explain it, and that's what it feels like autistically when you non-verbally experience the world and you don't catergorize or see the world in human structures or classifcations but rather auras (a word i believe they later used in the show) where everything has a sense attached to it and you exeprience it in some other way and i believe i'm the one not making sense rn bc i just can't find the words for these things - it's just soemthing to FEEL

and i think thats what it was with stiles and derek

that's why they didnt need words

that's why we sterek shippers never needed words to understand them

why we watched them look at each other and went

THAT! THAT RIGHT THERE

because it's an understanding between words. An understanding as if between two creatures with hackled raised, wounded, who realize they're fighting a common enemy, and sharea vommon language

and that language can just be by gaze alone, and somehow snark, biting tongues and rough edges

and if Derek can be his stoic soirwolf self with his biting sarcasm and heal himself and Stiles goes from "this will cause me nightmares" (about to cutt off his arm) to "that was awesome!!" (after watching the bullet wound heal)-- well Derek knows he doesn't have to hide his rough edges from him. He doesn't have to his the black bile and blood and pain, or the way he can't force smiles or be a functioning member of society for Stiles to consider him worth saving and fighting for. Stiles cares anyway. Stiles will fight for him anyway. Stiles understands

and god does that fucking matter

bc who else stands up for derek after laura dies?

Over and over again

*insert elevator gif where stiles is saving derek with derek looking vulnerable*

and cue the soft lighting

and how we get super soft lighting every time stiles is there to save derek

ESPECIALLY in the scene where Stiles saves Derek in his "daydream" when Kate comes back and shoots derek in the chest

#this wennt all over the place as promised #poebin #autistic!derek #more like just sterek rambling lmao #eternalsterek

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studentbyday · 9 months

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me @the stuff i have to do this week

day 50-56 // 100dop && day 29-35 // 100doc

saturday/sunday: finished lab report and data structures lab, spent what felt like a really long time trying to understand the instructions and distro code for speller.c and wrote lots of notes and some pseudocode for the load function.

monday: finished 2 and a little bit of a 3rd section of chem chapter. wrote drafts for the load, check, and unload functions in speller.c but it's returning the opposite of what i should be getting. ☹️🧐

tuesday: it seems i have to accept that as the semester wears on, my study space will inevitably become very very messy with scrap paper (note to self to sift through them tmr and keep only what i need rn)... finished 2.5 sections of chem chapter but didn't take notes on everything yet (halfway through the chapter whooo 🙌). answered tutorial worksheet. also, for some reason i didn't have to change anything except for some minor things in unload and load and check50 works for everything now???? now all that's left to do is figure out why my size function is not returning the same number as the staff's solution and improve on that dreaded hash function...everything i've tried so far takes longer than the one already in there... 🤔 in my impatience to move on, i started the python lecture (YAY PYTHON 😁💗 i'm so ready to be done with C for now)

wednesday: OMG i wasn't expecting to be able to finish speller today but i DID!!!! i thought it would take me much longer to figure out that hash function - i owe it all to cs50's reddit (and stepping away from it and doing smth else when stuck) 💗💗💗 now i can REALLY enjoy myself w python (my beloved XP) and not have that unfinished problem hanging over my head ☺️ also almost done making notes for the sections covered yesterday and finished 3/4 practice assignments.

thursday: i woke up at 12pm 😑☹️ finished all except 1 section of the assignment bc i haven't covered all of the chapter yet. i haven't even finished taking notes on...several things, it's kind of all over the place and i'm just trying to learn enough to do the assignment and then go back in more detail once i'm done bc that's how bored and overwhelmed i feel rn (did not know it was possible to feel both at the same time until uni XD) 😅 watched a little more of the python lecture even tho i should be prioritizing chem rn... still got the lab report to write and a quiz to do after the assignment 😵‍💫😑 (it'll be fine, ik, but if i'm being completely honest, it would be soooooo nice if those things could just do themselves and i could download all the info i need into my brain and instantly understand it and be calculator-fast at the math and not make any mistakes 😤)

friday: finished practice assignment, actual assignment, writing all of the lab report except the intro and references, and the python lecture. got through the remainder of the chem chapter but still gotta write notes on it... it was late at night when i got to the python problems and gaaahhhh coding is sm harder on a sleepy brain, i only finished hello.py XD also dunno how much time i'll have to spend on 100doc this weekend but at least i was able to keep up the streak through the weekdays this time!!

saturday/sunday: finished lab report, notes on chem chapter, quiz, and mario.py. am now working on credit.py and uuuggghhh i did not read the instructions carefully for the checksum!!! 😡 i just followed their example but not all credit card numbers are like the one in the example, so...i have to redo and rethink what seems like a lot of stuff so i basically just wasted all of that time getting confused as to why it wasn't working XD aaaannnddd idk if i should be doing this but i keep converting strings to ints back to strings and then back to ints as needed cuz i lovelovelove iterating through strings but also it seems kinda messy? it also feels super weird writing in python after writing in C for a while...

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frecklystars · 15 days

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Hi, I sent you an ask a while ago about Ken taking care of your wound. I hope I didn't overshare in the first part of the message. I just wanted you to know you're not alone in your feelings.

Hi sweetheart!!! No please don't worry!! I meant to respond to you (not as a posted ask ofc, but rather making a separate text post without any details/info attached for your privacy) but my depression hit me super hard the last few days and I wasn't able to get back to anyone in a timely manner the way that I planned. I got over 30 asks this week that I was hoping to answer but,,, my brain has turned into a burnt out baked potato since I've picked up so many extra shifts fjhgjfdgh

You didn't overshare, don't worry about that. I thought about you a few times this week and hoped you were doing okay, or well, as okay as you can be given the circumstances. Thank you for empathizing with my situation, and I'm very sorry for what you have to put up with. Literally as I was reading your message I was thinking "dude are we literally the same person or something??" I have gone through almost all of those scenarios, of course not EXACTLY but my god it seems pretty close. and uh. it sucks. It hurts and it sucks..... ughh. We deserve better. It will get better. It's completely normal to have periods in your life where you feel so unbearably lonely and sad -- granted, our lonely period has been. like. forever lmao but like -- we WILL be surrounded by love and acceptance and one day we will forget how it felt to be in our current situation we're in rn. It's gonna get better. It feels super impossible and really hard everyday but dude it WILL get better bc that's how the universe functions, everything is temporary, eventually something will shift and new opportunities will come, or new people who bring you joy.

In the meantime, I am mentally holding your hand through any bad day you have. Thank you again for empathizing with me, bc honestly I hear sooo many stories about how people have... great experiences with the subject you wrote about, and it just makes me feel so bitter and resentful bc like... I'll never have that. And of course I am SO sorry that you go through the same feelings as me and the same, uh what's the word [squints] situations? events?? I don't know how to phrase it. but your message brought me a little bit of comfort to know I wasn't the only person who has to deal with that. I am surrounded by so many ppl who are so, so close with their families and watching that kind of thing makes me feel so bitter sometimes, and it just makes me wanna walk directly into the ocean dfshlfhslfksdsfd

I also want to say thank you SO MUCH for telling me Ken would patch up my wounds 😭😭 that was nice of you to take the time to do that for me ;-; I always beat myself up so much after I hurt myself, bc as you are aware of uh. [gestures to our unnamed topic] I've had bad experiences where i've hurt myself and have just gotten yelled at or ignored altogether, so. I just assume my F/Os would hate me for it. I get extra sad with Ken especially bc he's a doll and he's never seen human blood before, so my thoughts are always "oh he'd be scared of me and grossed out and hate me sooo much" but you were the first and only person who said "hey actually he'd be concerned!!!" and I just. wept. in a good way ofc!! but dude I just bawled after reading that, it was something I needed to hear so badly. Especially the lines "Ken loves you, Keri" "You know he doesn't half-ass things when it comes to you" and my favorite "He would draw you a little horse on the bandage, if you asked him to (he hopes you ask him.)" Ofc I will ask him I will PLEAD with this man to draw a very sparkle horsey in a pink glittery pen :] anyway I hope you don't mind I saved that particular paragraph so I could go back and reread it to cheer myself. I read it again today while I was at work actually!

Virtually I am giving you a big hug and flowers 💐💕✨ be safe, be well. I am sending you love and stars across the internet 🌟

#anonymous #asks #self harm mention #self harm cw

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painonthebrain · 1 month

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I’m gonna be honest watching everything with @/emmettworld go down is just kinda sad and also makes me. Conflicted?

Idk proship vs anti shit below cut im just . I probably shouldnt be writing anything rn bc my brain isn’t functioning for. Some fucking reason but whatever i do what i want

Like I don’t define myself as proship bc I think the whole pro vs anti thing is like. Ugh I can’t find the words. Idk it’s like.

Like I don’t want to call myself proship because. I have so many friends who will tear me apart for that and itll ruin our relationships and I love them and also I hate like. Having to attribute myself to a “side” but like. I’m completely fine with everything fictional. Yes. I don’t care, as long as it’s properly tagged, warned, etc.

Also I ship stuff like selfcest and clonecest so. Idk I don’t think antis do that.

And anti culture reeks of ew ew ew this (fiction) is gross! It shouldn’t exist AT ALL! And proship culture reeks of oh my god these stupid baby minors this is FICTION. DUH. Youre all beneath me

Anyway I know theres at least one moot i i can think of who has proship dni in their intro and like... if ur reading this. hi. I dont call myself proship but i certainly have some of the beliefs which is why i interact but if you’re uncomfortable u can totally block me like. Im not doing this to be some shady imposter who lurks in the dark i just dont label myself as any of this shit!!

im like. Lowkey terrified of how people are going to react to this post bc im HORRIBLE at using my words rn but like.

Like i just want people to make whatever tf they want to make! It shouldn’t be a person’s problem to “sanitize” themselves! And also fictional characters are quite literally made up people we create to do whatever the fuck we want to them! But also it’s important (in my opinion) to be at least a little critical of what you make. But also you shouldn’t have to file down your expression. But alsO-

Like there are so many factors to well. Factor in when it comes to fiction! And i try so hard to develop my media literacy (even with my underdeveloped baby frontal lobe) every day but even so these topics can be hard to navigate

Anyway yeah no conclusion paragraph because as you can probably tell from my writing. I have no idea what im saying i just feel the need to say something

Idk i just feel like a neurotic prey animal right now like im like.

Ok ok time to get personal guys

I have like MAJOR irrational fears that i am a horrible person like. Almost constantly and pro vs anti discourse makes that shit go fucking WILD. anyway. Yeah i have like this almost fanatic paranoid fear that no matter how hard i try i am a Bad Person and that im like. Metaphorically rotting from the inside and eventually i will expose it to everyone that i am Bad and Awful and Nasty and that even then when everything goes bad ill be completely unaware of my own inherent corruptness and that i will eventually hurt people or whoever i have the capacity to hurt and that things are doomed to fail for me because im such an abhorrent person

Anyway yeah those thoughts are obviously NONSENSICAL because… what??? The fuck????

But then my brain is like ooh yeah lets introduce some fucked up thoughts in here. Intrusive thoughts, if you will. Which all span many nasty awful things that are usually highly morally corrupt and wow I wonder if that ties into all that i said before? Yep it probably does!

Which makes me anxious as hell because then im also convincing myself that those thoughts are real and are my own thoughts and wants. Which FUCKS ME UPPP

So anyway that’s why I don’t label myself as pro or anti because proship makes me feel like im a horrible person who will hurt people and is disgusting and awful (also the intrusive thoughts) and the anti label goes against my very strong beliefs of freedom of creation and expression etc.

Yay rant vent brain barf over!!!!

#elec rambles #rant #vent #i really dont know if it qualifies as either of these but whatever #its like a weird amalgamation of the two #yeah im sorry i kind of dropped into a tangent #anyway if i never acknowledge this again so be it #i was gonna tag this as psa but. i really think i shouldnt

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sereniv · 3 months

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its so hard to find the balance of being informed and knowing whats happening, and focusing on my mental stability.

bc on one hand no matter what i do it feels like i cant just block it all out. it feels wrong. and i mean block everything. as in ignoring every post, not reading anything thats going on in palestine. or any other place

to just pretend like its not happening is not something I feel comfortable doing even if it might help mentally. but i dont even think id be able to

i dont need to see the videos or the pictures or read graphic summaries. and that is enough, is to even do the bare minimum

but even the bare minimum feels like too much.

and lately no matter how much i distance myself from it all its already in my head

and sometimes it feels like im off my pills. when i used to have strong delusions of reality being a simulation or of being watched etc

paranoid delusions and shit like that

like when i say i feel like im going insane i literally feel it. it feels familiar. but worse in a lot of ways

like i know what is happening is real but i can barely comprehend it.

i know what i see is real but through a lense its easy for my brain to just be confused at what im seeing. or hearing.

its a simialr feeling to when we read about the holocaust in school and when i saw pictures and read personal accounts.

i knew that it was real, it felt real to a point, but its like it didnt feel real in a way like so shocking that it causes dissociation

and like im doing the most i can do for myself. because theres no ignoring everything bc i already know its happening.

and now i have to manage my psychosis that im keeping at bay. and then ofc on top of that taking care of my grandma and both pets

amongst other things

i havnt felt this bad in a long time.

luckily i have stuff to distract myself but its like

always on in the background of my mind. it feels so claustrophobic like i want to break things

its hard to keep the right mindset and not just blow up at people, or to be 'reactionary'. which, i mean emotions first thoughts second.

its hard to push that down and act appropriately and normally. and to actually be able to think about what im saying

like its so hard to not cry or dream about this stuff. and like weed doesnt even help, and theres no way im going back to drinking

so its like i just have to raw dog the emotions.

idk maybe ill try edibles again, bc the smoking just isnt good for me

i just hope at least my grandma is able to get out of pain bc im getting so stressed im starting to think about adopting my pets out again just to be able to function

having to take misha out every 20 minutes fucking sucks. having to feed them sucks. having to take her out and scoop and to scoop cowboys cat box sucks

and im not getting enough sleep but at the same time somehow getting too much sleep

and then my tablet needing a replacement

and my room is a mess and trying to keep the dishes clean but they pile up every few days

and then just wanting to enjoy something like food and all im eating is gluten and its making me physically ill and in pain and tired

im dehydrated bc i drink at most an 8 oz glass of water a day, but on average a cup

which makes my muscles weak, im having trouble breathing

somehow im keeping it together

luckily im back on my meds

my grandma could die soon when she gets surgery and i really hope that doesnt happen bc i can not handle that rn at all

its just too much

also going to turn 31 this month when it feels like i turned 30 just a handful of months ago

so idk how i feel about that

i just feel physically sick rn. i should be sleeping but my sleep schedule is fucked up so i dont end up sleeping until like noon or 7am

#Just venting #just me stuff i need to get out #i dont need comfort this is just pure venting to destress a little

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qxrhg · 1 year

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Happy traumaversary

It’s been almost a year since I left work after developing PTSD. My friends from school are all more experienced than me now, I listen to their stories and watch them learn and grow. One is vent trained, the other is doing high-acuity training. These are the things that I wanted for myself. I got my RN because I wanted to know and understand more. I was so thrilled to finally get the depth and background to better understand my job, and I was really excited to get a job on a ward where I would be dealing with some of the most interesting cases. In the 5 months I was there I learned about management of complex lung diseases, some that 20 years ago people just died from. I saw the impacts of COVID first hand in all the lung transplants we were doing for people whose lungs got destroyed by COVID. God, some of them were so young and previously healthy. So many people who went into hospital for shortness of breath, only to spend months in a medically induced coma with a machine taking over their lung function until we could transplant them. I was developing real specialty knowledge in a complex field; I felt fulfilled and challenged.

Now I’ve been spending the last year at home doing what feels like nothing. The first 2 months I was practically catatonic- I used to just lie in bed staring into space for 8-9 hours at a time. I wouldn’t eat or drink because I just didn’t have the ability to do it. It was like a bizarre paralysis: I could feel how hungry and thirsty I was but I just couldn’t move. It took me hours to finally get myself to actually get up and do what needed to be done. I didn’t shower for days at a time, and I’m usually fastidious about hygiene. I was just an empty, broken shell of a person who couldn’t even take care of myself.

I finally got a good therapist after 7 months and started the healing process. I decided that instead of repressing and running away, I was going to face the trauma head-on. I didn’t want it living in my head with triggers waiting to go off like little landmines. This is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and man I have been through some shit. I approached it clinically and came to really understand what PTSD is and how it works. I went over old courses on the roots of trauma, epigenetics, and neurobiology (I greatly suggest the Alberta Family Wellness Brain Story certification).

Still, I feel lost and left behind. I don’t feel like I’m part of the world anymore. II don’t really feel like I’m myself anymore. So many of the things I was were taken from me: my sense of competence, my ability to power through anything. My vulnerability has been laid out starkly for me to see and I still feel broken. Yesterday I woke up from a bad nightmare and couldn’t stop crying. I reached out to people, but they have their own lives and I don’t want to make them drop anything. Besides, it’s my job to learn how to cope with these feelings.

But god I still feel empty sometimes. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my career going forward. My relationship has also changed, and something I thought was stable for almost 11 years has been turned on it’s head. Sometimes it just feels like everything is falling apart and it’s never going to be OK again. I feel like a burden on those around me, like I’m broken beyond compare. I know there’s a way out somewhere, but I just don’t know if I have the strength to do it.

0 notes

moth-based-cryptology · 3 years

Note

*grabby hands* car guy Albert

this,,, this has been a long time in the making. a very long time in the making. long enough in the making that the inspo for this au, the lovely @we-are-inevitable , has since moved on from this thought to many a new thing (all of which i demand you go check out if you haven’t yet, jac is an angel and one of the most talented people i know, go love on them rn they deserve it. jac, ilysfm) and. jorja. my love. thank you for listening to my rants about this au, you helped make this into coherent thoughts. also @enter-plot-holes-here tq for making me get off my ass and create something you’re wonderful and ily. finally, @santagae jack, you actually force me to do something creative for my own or your sake, which means i actually know what the fuck i’m doing when we get to,,, here. mwah ilysm

i’m gonna stop stalling and get to what y’all have been waiting for—

hcs under the cut cause this is a Long One :))

*cracks knuckles*

ok, so god i missed typing that

he grew up in a small town, pretty much everybody knows everybody, and if they don’t it won’t be very long after you drive into town that they will. popular for lower to middle class families, retired people, and people requiring something new. sometimes it’s a combo of those things.

albert’s dad worked a few odd jobs when he was a kid

construction, lumber, mostly physical labor

but when he was 6 or so, his dad started an apprenticeship with a local mechanic, and the rest is sorta history

albert had always been one of those boys that loved cars, from the second he got his grubby hands on his first hot wheel

he used to sit in front of the tv watching auctions, absolutely mesmerized by the ongoing train of shiny cars and all the moving parts that worked to make it function

by the time he was 12, he had this extensive catalog of knowledge sitting in his brain waiting to be used, cause curse him he’s good at everything, so the second he figured out cars it was only a matter of getting his hands on one

he sorta lucked out, getting older brothers, cause his oldest brother started driving when he was 13 and the other when he was 15

he spent nearly all his free time in the shop, to the point the guy his dad apprenticed under actually offered to start albert’s apprenticeship when he was,,, 17? probably? earlier than most guys would even consider offering

he leaps at the offer. it’s the most excited he’s been since his brother let him amp up the sound system in his truck and he got to fuck around with all the wires for hours it really should only take. like 20 minutes. but he was 14 and figuring it out so,,,, i’ll give him a pass

by the time he graduates, he’s trusted to actually work on customers’ cars without someone breathing down his neck the whole time

and it’s around this time our dear jack francisco kelly joins the story. ma decided he and his brothers needed a new place to exist, so here he is.

now, jack’s all city boy. fresh outta college with some sorta of artsy degree that makes the very gruff “I grew up with bugs tougher than you” man who owns the auto shop peer at him suspiciously over his glasses

but jack’s also charismatic, and funny, and he knows a thing or two about cars

he’s also got the type of dinosaur he calls a truck that fits right in around there. duct tape on the front bumper, precariously balanced tailgate and all

so albert’s damn near solitary existence becomes half of a ridiculous duo that makes everyone in town roll their eyes and shake their heads fondly

obviously albert grew up with two brothers, he’s absolutely used to the kind of camaraderie he’s got with jack, at least to some capacity

but this isn’t one of his brothers, not by blood, and he’s not required to hang with albert. he actively chooses to, even with the long winded rants about various carburetors and sleek sports cars neither of them will ever reasonably be able to afford but dream about having one day

they’re the dumbasses that get caught smoking weed on the roof of the high school at 4am and run like there’s literally any chance anybody else in town could’ve been the ones doing it. they even run to the diner with the sleep deprived teenager behind the counter and make silent eye contact before bursting out laughing at how stupid they are. everyone knows them as a pair, even if they’d known albert his whole entire life before jack got there

and, of course, when they’re not out wreaking havoc on innocent bystanders, they’re bantering in the auto shop while they work. this is the easiest place to find them, actually, considering the absolutely ridiculous amount of time they spend there. can’t find al and jack? have you checked the auto shop?

which is exactly the question jack’s little brother gets asked when he’s searching for jack

enter, antonio “racetrack” higgins. ta da

he doesn’t walk into the auto shop shouting for jack and then come up completely short when he’s faced with a very tall, very pretty redhead who definitely isn’t his brother

he doesn’t. why would you ever say such a thing?

listen, in all fairness, albert isn’t doing much better. he just,,, hadn’t been talking when race walked in

“i— i’m so sorry, just... um... is jack here?”

“oh! uh— yeah, he’s... in the back. gimme a minute?”

it comes out like a question, but albert’s already running away before race can get any more words out. honestly it’s probably a good thing

the heat is just starting to rise in his cheeks when he nearly runs headlong into jack in the hall

“your— there’s someone here for you.”

“yeah, i thought i heard racer’s voice. why so red, red?”

jack knows. he knows exactly why albert’s so red, and why he’s making that face and shoving him down the hall. albert even knows jack knows cause of the stupid grin on his face and the way his teasing laugh echoes through the hallway

cause in all of the times they’ve talked about girls, or boys, or relationships, or any of that, jack had conveniently forgotten to mention albert could’ve been describing his little brother from a picture. the little brother than was two months older than albert

jack kelly was evil

it’s honestly kind of a mystery how they haven’t met before now, but it just,,,,, never seemed to work out. all the times albert had been over at jack’s, race was out or had online classes or a million other things that made them just miss each other

and despite their incredibly awkward start, they click immediately, just like albert had with jack. actually they click over their annoyance with jack, considering they both think that goddamn grin is aimed at them, and it’s perfectly smooth sailing from there

and so the duo becomes a trio, whenever it can at least

and this absolutely won’t end with some sort of development of feelings. it won’t. right?

i know, i know. i’m cruel and awful and the absolute worst. /j

luckily for you, my dears, i’m already halfway through the second part of this. if it’s not already up when your find this, it will be shortly. i got hit with the inspiration bus, sue me. love yall xxx

#newsies #livesies #never not read the tags #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #ralbert #sorta #not yet #jack kelly #newsies headcanons #albert dasilva headcanons #racetrack higgins headcanons #yes i did write this one purely to talk about al and jack’s friendship #no you can’t stop me #car guy albert #i’ve been talking about this au for months but it took me until now to get my shit together and finish it #jac my beloved <3 #i’m your local jac stan #mwah. love of my life #thank you for the thoughts and also the au this was from #i changed lots of things but as per usual you are the reason this exists so. thank you i love you so fucking much #mother goose <3 #ilysm jorja #oh also cam once again got my brain workin and so. this was born. cam ilysm thank u for making me create.#i feel like it’s mandatory to point out that. this is as per usual a self projection thought #my dad’s a mechanic and i grew up in an auto shop #at this point just expect me to have weirdly intimate knowledge of everything i write about #it seems to be my brand #anyway #car guy al

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dearest-kibble · 4 years

Note

yan kenma who has you locked up in his apartment- it’s been some time and you’ve given up escaping but you know he live-streams so you kind of start living small clues that you’re there in hope someone will figure it out? but instead of a viewer kenma finds out; and instead of stopping you he just decides to taunt you and play along to the point his viewers make it an inside joke- the emotional rollercoaster that would be? he wouldn’t have to punish you- the crushing despair is enough alone

This is so deliciously fucked up I love it,,, thank you anon, Kenma hits so different. I love him thank you so so so much. i am working on so much,,, thank you for being patient with all my uhhh lateness? this kinda became something a little different than the prompt but hopefully thats good?

Kenma Kozume x Fem reader

tw: Typical yandere-ness, humiliation? Sexism? Mentioned stalking, (If im missing anything please let me know my brain isn’t functioning rn)

You’re sitting on his lap, camera angled so that no one’s view is obstructed by your body, but so that all his views can clearly see you. You’ve been here so long, any hope of leaving, ironically, has left you. But, the thought crept slowly, surely, deeply into your brain and hasn’t left. You turn around on Kenma’s lap, straddling him and you’re sure the live chat is going a little crazy at the thought of Kodzuken having someone in his lap while he streams and he’s probably going to tell you to get off soon, but you’ve got the chat’s attention, and you are going to work with it. You tap Kenma’s cheeks, slight squish on them and you know he hates that it’s on camera all the same, you drum three fingers on his cheek, smiling at him for the camera as your fingertips meet his clammy skin. He doesn’t tell you to stop so across his cheek you swipe your thumb three times as tenderly as possible. As you stand from his lap, you pat his cheeks, three times delicately. You look into his eyes, still as calculating as when you met him, a deceptively warm amber with the tiniest hint of frustration (and somewhere inside, you know it’s probably with you but you can’t care.)

“I’m gonna sit on the couch, ‘kay?” You call softly, hoping you were subtle enough with your plea.

“Oh, okay,” And you think you’re free before he calls a “Wait! Come back for a little.” You’re even halfway to the couch before the words rope you back in. He beckons you to lean down, and whispers into your ear. “I noticed you trying to sign to get out. Morse code isn’t as subtle as you think, you might as well just ask them to get you out,” You chance a quick look towards chat.

“Was that morse code?”

“Holy shit! Yeah, I think that was SOS.”

“You think they actually need to get out or it’s one of those ‘my bfs terrible’ jokes?”

“You see the way they were straddling? Def not a hate my bf sorta thing.”

“See?” He’s still whispering into your ear, game forgotten in lieu of what might be called humiliation. “They won’t believe you because you want to be here. Regardless of what you say, you would’ve left already if you didn’t.” He smiles at you and affectionately pats your head. Like he’d pet a cat. The idea is still in your mind, though perhaps a little shallower. You glance at the chat once more, someone is still talking about it, but Kenma pushes you away with a “I’ll get you when I’m done, okay?” You end your night on the couch with Kenma. He smiles at you and puts your legs on his lap.

The next livestream is two days after the last one. You have something planned once more, hopefully more effective.

“I’m playing minecraft today, I could set up your computer, and we could play together?” His small smile is back. And though a kind gesture, all you can think about is how easily you could make a point.

“Okay!” The earlier plan is immediately forgotten, and thoughts of what you could do in a game, fills your mind. “Will I have a mic?”

“No, I can’t have you telling them can I?” And it clicks, because of course he’d taunt you. But it’s like your brain grew claws that cannot lose their hold.

“Will I have a camera?” And you know the answer, but Kenma might still surprise you. You’ve already had one shock tonight, maybe you’ll get another.

“No. Sorry. You have chat though.” He pats your head again, ruffling your hair. “I’ve already got you set up, c’mon.” He tugs at your hand, pulling gently.

“Thanks Kenma.” He’s put another computer across from his desk on a much smaller table made for playing cards.

“You’re all set up.”

“Yeah.” He clicks the mouse a few times, waves at the camera to his right. “Can everybody hear me?” He waits a few seconds for chat’s response. “Chat is saying yes, so let’s get right in?” He smiles sheepishly to his camera.

“Hi everyone, I’ m Kodzuken and today we are,” He pauses to look at you with honeyed amber eyes. “Playing Minecraft with my partner.” He nods in your direction. You just open the minecraft tab, the only shortcut that seems to be on the computer.

“It’s a LAN server, click that, okay?” So you click it and say nothing. You start to go through the motions of chopping a tree, making sticks, making a crafting table. Kennma is narrating what he does, and you’re not even sure where he is in game until you're knocked back and turn your mouse to look at him.

“Yeah, I know - she should be relying on me.” He’s responding to something in chat, he’s gotta be. You type a quick,

“What’re they saying?”

“Oh, that my girlfriend shouldn’t be so independent, you rely on me - I'm your boyfriend.” Kenma says it so casually, so acerbically that you immediately take off sprinting from the forest in game.

“She has these bouts - you saw them last stream - where she likes to try and ‘get away’.” Kenma laughs softly; little glockenspiel notes falling from his mouth. “It’s a really cute joke honestly! Anyway, I’ll put my minecraft bed next to hers later, right now...” You stop paying attention and start planning how you’d try to get your point across more clearly. You could make signs, say “Get me out!” Like Kenma suggested.

“Hey! He looks over the screen at you, piercing eyes staring right through you. “Don’t go off on your own, we’re staying together alright?”

“No.” He’ll have to deal with chatting, possibly hearing you by himself. And you continue through the coded forest. It goes pretty smoothly, though you’re sure Kenma is trying to find you, you’ve already created a mine for yourself, and made a little sign with instructions that reads: “Get me out!”

“Her voice is quite cute, isn’t it? I’ll get to hear it for the rest of my life.” He continues humming out yes’s and no’s to his audience that sit captivated in a land of blocks and pixels.

“Hey, I’m going to use the restroom, is it alright if my girlfriend takes over for me?” He stands, and waves you over into his chair that’s been made for gaming and padded with red accents. He watches you with his cat-like eyes as you sit down and pats your head. “I’ll be right back Kitty, behave.” And you hear his soft footsteps get farther away and the creak of the door twice before you finally look at chat.

Woa, Kudzu got lucky huh?

“Please,” You don’t sound nearly as someone might think you would. You’ve been here too long. “Get me out of here?”

Sure sweetheart, just come over to my place first.

“Just - get me away from him please!”

Girls are so whiny huh?

Hey man, its funny at least amiright?

“It’s not a joke -”

She’s really committed to this bit huh

Damn iim staartin to feel bad for ken

Me to :(

“I’ve been here for year and I don’t want to-”

Wow. what an ungrateful bitch.

Ikr? She’s got a bf and everything and she wants to get out?

“No- it’s not like that - he stalked me for months I-” And the familiar desperation you thought hoped beyond all hope that you had lost bleeds back into your voice all repression surfaces like the tide in your eyes.

Oh fuxxx we made her cry.

relax bet she’s just on her period or smth

“I am not!” A bubble of snot pops from your nose and mucus drips uncomfortably to your lips. “I just-”

What could you want that you don’t have.

“My house! My job! My friends!” And your voice breaks

She wants to go back to a job?

Crazy lady huh.

She wants friends when all she really needs is a man? smh.

“Kitten, what-”

“Leave me the fuck alone!” It’s an outburst that you’ll regret later, for one reason or another. But for now it’s a small comfort to speak your mind. With your voice wavering and congested, you choke out a “Let me go home.” Kenma’s eyebrows furrow but his eyes are still the calculating, cold amber they always are.

“Shh shh, it’s okay.” Instead of the quick pats he’s so fond of, he strokes your hair and massages the nape of your neck like he’s picking up a kitten who's gotten into a fight. “I’m going to cut the stream, okay?”

Who’d want to leave Ken, he’s cutting the stream short to help his gf.

…….yeah

I feel bad.

“You should. Please don’t make her cry.” A few clicks later and the stream cuts. “Do you want me to upload that one?” To get your message out? You’d do anything.

“Yes please…” Someone will have to see it. How miserable you are.

“Then it’ll go up, okay?” He pats your back twice, and he stands again to sit at the computer. Out of the blue he speaks again. “They’re right.” No no no no no. “I’m lucky, i’m so glad you're here with me and that you won’t leave.”

“I will get out!” The proof of your white hot anger is breaking the dam built in your throat.

“Where will you go? Your friends don’t know where you’ve gone, they won’t be happy with you coming back unannounced.”

“My parents-”

“You can rely on me, you don’t need anyone else.”

“But I-”

“Shhh kitty, you’re overreacting let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a stressful day.” And so he walks you back to the room you share that's covered in pictures, and he tucks you under the covers and dries your tears with a blanket. He whispers words to you, faint little nothings about games he’s going to play that you’ll enjoy watching and little bits of trivia about what “Kuroo” is up to. Eventually you fall asleep, with his hand in your hair and a chair pulled up close so he can stare. You both know it but no one will admit, some part of him will always enjoy how you lose hope so quickly.

once again! This should not’ve taken so long,,,, and it kinda deviates from request but! there we are! also,,,, you can’t tell me that like,,,,,,, kenma hasn’t been at least exposed to incels and or like,,,, really sexist guys he streams on twitch or youtube or something so- also thank you anon,,, i really like this one

#yandere x reader #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere haikyuu #yandere haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu kenma #kenma kozume #yandere kenma #yandere kenma x reader #hq kenma #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #tw sexism

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studentbyday · 11 months

Text

day 10 // 100doc && day 25 // 100dop

wiped down study space 🤧

watched the recursion & merge sort shorts (today i learned that recursion is actually very very dumb. recursive functions don't even know what they're doing, they just know to keep doing it. they're "dumber" than the iterative versions of the function. they're so efficient because they're so dumb. they only know what they need to know...and they don't care to know more. 🤯)

worked on 1/4 practice problems (my initial solution is wrong. debugger told me exactly what's wrong with my logic but i'm tired so i'll fix it tomorrow. at this point, the debugger does 50% of the work for me XD lately, every time smth goes wrong with anything, i just set a breakpoint XD)

read

piano (sometimes i get stuck in a zombie loop of "i must do this", this being coding rn, and then i disregard everything else and then i wonder why am i suddenly so unproductive? OH YEAH! it's cuz my brain needs a variety of stimuli. and i've been feeling sad that i don't know how to play the music playing in my head...)

tried and failed to find the theme used in cs50's vscode on the cloud... i like how it colors the variable name and the variable type differently for my bad eyes... anyone know what it is? XD

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aerialflight · 3 years

Text

Fic Rec (where i'm into too many fandoms rn and ships which is weird of me)

[Bleach] (been a while amiright?)

Oxytocin by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)

Ship: Grimmjow/Ichigo/Orihime

Complete trust and physical affection are great!

They're a bit less great when they were caused by weird hollow drugs.

They're even less great when the guy who was drugged up into loving the hell out of you is the same guy who tried to murder you a couple times a couple years ago.

(listen i just stumbled upon this and I have no regrets. i don't usually go for ships, let alone poly, but like, GOD, i love how everyone is characterized here, especially orihime and i just want to SCREAM OK? OK. the vibe i get from this fic reminds me of @murderlight (big fan) and if that doesn't say anything, i don't know what will.)

[Gintama] (i don't know how i spiralled into this fandom either, been literal years since i've even thought about this fandom, i have no regrets)

Grab Your Dreams With Your Fists While You Can Still Remember It by yatagarasu (leelhiette)

Ship: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki

Toshirou should learn to look both ways before crossing the road.

(Or he learns more about the people around him and about himself.)

(amnesia fic, and i know it's a common trope but they did it BEAUTIFULLY here. love this so much. and it's post-canon.)

I feel you by arashian155 for machinecuisine

Ship: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki

“I’m so done with this,” Gintoki muttered angrily. Zura sighed while Tatsuma laughed loudly. “Your soulmate’s getting roughed up again?” Gintoki groaned. “Worst timing ever! There was this one Amanto swinging his gigantic sword at me and I was just about to dodge it when, out of fucking nowhere, I feel something stabbing my shoulder! It threw me off and if it weren’t for that, I would have been perfectly healthy right now instead of getting nursed for this stupid wound!” he pointed at the ugly slash across his torso. “Fuck soulmates!”

A story about Sakata Gintoki's journey into embracing his soulbond, falling in love, and learning the cons of selflessness.

(THE SLOW BUILD-UP OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THE PLOT FOLLOWS CANON AND I CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS STUPID FIC I'M SO STUPID FOR THIS STUPID SHIP FEIWNFOPA)

[One Piece] (of course)

Undone by pkmntrainer_alex

After the entire family almost dies at WCI, Judge Vinsmoke orders the removal of his sons' emotional modifications in a bid to save his own skin in future endeavors. He doesn't stop to consider the ramifications of his 21-year-old sons finally, suddenly, being able to feel their human emotions in full - and their newfound ability to judge both themselves and him by their past actions.

(the vinsmoke family dynamics and the brothers trying to deal with 21 years of pent up emotions? they're trying?? so freaking hard to be functional people and they realize just how freaking amazing sanji is and that HE wasn't the failure in this family??? god, i've reread this fic so many times like an addict please read and suffer the feels with me. this is the one fic where i'm trying to patiently wait for an update. i'm just happy that this exists.)

Song of the Swords by authenticaussie

Wado is tiny when she first appears before him; her tears are as silver as her hair and the moonlight, and they gleam from within with golden fire as they pour down her cheeks.

Zoro’s heart fairly stops in his chest for a very, very long moment.

(personified swords au! introspective and fascinating and a character study of zoro and his relationship with his swords! really liked this!)

where the rims have ridges by Civillain

Everything everyone does is in their own self-interest.

"I like your hat," she calls out quietly.

And the change is instantaneous. He stops where he stands, a hand on his head and his knees still bent to take another step, and turns to look over his shoulder.

There's a moment of silence where he says nothing, just peering at her with squinted eyes, before: "Thanks!" he beams.

His smile is wide and unchecked, so wide that it might make his cheeks ache. He doesn't have laugh lines, but the way he smiles makes her imagine that he's spent his whole life grinning like that, warmly and brightly, so sincere and upfront that the breath gets punched right out her lungs.

Sometimes, there are people close to exceptions. But not quite.

20 years apart, and two people that don't make any sense.

(god, such a good outside pov look on luffy! luffy is such an unreadable character lots of times and it's so hard to pin down his characterization but this fic got it so right! made me fall for luffy all over again and realize just how incredible he is, as both a not-hero figure and main character! definitely recommend!)

those things beyond us by Civillain

There's something different about Luffy on nights like this, nights where there's soft rain and half-moons, and when the streets are quiet; no cars or trucks, only midnight joggers or early risers taking walks to the beach.

(Where Luffy and his friends have a relationship Sabo doesn't think he'll ever be able to understand.)

(honestly, i just love all of this author's one piece works. its a modern au where the straw hats are reincarnated and find each other all in sabo's pov. it's beautiful and this is how i would picture how the straw hats would fit in a modern au. nakamaship is the best ship, no questions needed. so so good!)

Magic Paint by 8ball

Luffy sticks his hands out.

“Paint mine!”

Usopp watches the expressions on Sanji’s face. He likes watching the obvious emotions go through him like a slideshow, and it's somehow comforting that he can see the exact moment Sanji decides that going along with Luffy will be the easiest choice. So Usopp waits for Sanji to test his own nails, deem them dry enough, unscrew the tiny brush top again, and then he asks if Sanji will do his, too. And because Sanji already has the brush ready, and they’re both right there anyways, Usopp knows he’s going to get what he wants.

or the au that came from nowhere where Sanji paints his nails and everyone elses and thats really it

(*screams* the pureness, the fluff, the nakamaship!! fneiwoapfe!! the best, sweetest headcanon ever! had the biggest grin on my face the whole time i was reading this! please please read!!!)

[Percy Jackson & the Olympians]

Stealing Shells by the Seashore by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

Ship: Sally Jackson/Posiedon

Sally's eyes flicked between Poseidon and then the sea below. He could feel the understanding click.

"Oh, absolutely not-"

"It isn't that high!"

"Poseidon, I am not jumping off of this cliff! I'm not doing it. I won't, you can't make me, it's very high, I am not going to-"

"If my brother sees you here, he's going to assume that you're carrying my child."

"Ridiculous. I have much higher standards."

"I also have higher standards, but he isn't going to listen to us," Poseidon reasoned. The wind blew a bit harder, and Poseidon felt the sea rise with his anxiety. "I would use my powers to hide you, but he'll sense I've used them. You'll be fine," he tried, and Sally gave something of a skeptical laugh.

"Not happening."

The lightning grew closer. For the love of-

"In that case… I'm sorry," he said. Sally tilted her head suspiciously.

"Why are you-" she began but was cut off by Poseidon shoving her off the cliff's edge. He could hear a scream. It started loud and high before getting smaller and smaller. Finally, a splash followed.

Sally and Poseidon spent one summer together… and most of it was them being on the run for a godly crime they didn't commit.

(THIS is the ONLY backstory i will ever accept regarding this ship for the REST OF MY LIFE. i binged this so freaking fast and i am in love with sally as much as posiedon is. percy jackson got his Everything from his mom you can't change my fucking mind. THIS FIC NEEDS MORE ATTENTION AND KUDOS! READ!!!)

Son of Sea Foam by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

“She’ll never claim me,” he whispered. Silena shook her head, eyes wild as she looked around for anyone who could be watching.

“My mother doesn’t remember half of her children as it is,” she said with a note of bitterness. “If you do something to impress her, it won’t matter. Return the bolt in her name. She’ll claim you if you act the part. If you stay unclaimed then they'll figure out what you really are," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. Percy's heart sped up.

"I - I don't know the first thing about Aphrodite-"

"My mother was born of sea foam," Silena cut him off. "And if you're really who I think you are... you are the sea. You can pull this off," she said and touched his cheek. "Get the bolt. Survive," she said. Percy swallowed.

"What if I can't act the part?" He asked. Silena's expression went blank for a moment. Slowly, she slipped off her bracelet and placed it in his hands.

"If you're going to be one of us... you better learn."

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form Aphrodite.

(one of my current obsessions rn. my eyes are constantly glued on the screen because i want to devour more of this galaxy brained fic. this author just keeps on giving and i love them for it. also, SILENA IS AMAZING AND SHE'S GETTING THE ATTENTION SHE DESERVES HELL YEAH!)

[Haikyuu!!]

He Waits For a Miracle by ich_bin_ein_stern

Ship: Hinata/Kageyama

A minute ago, he was on the ground after he and the others were tackled by their happily weeping senpai.

They had just beat Shiratorizawa.

And now - "Kageyama-kun? Are you paying attention?" - he's trying not to freak out because he's surrounded by distantly familiar faces while wearing a school uniform he hasn't worn in almost a year.

(TIME TRAVEL TIME TRAVEL TIME TRAVEL *screams*)

[The Witcher] (seriously, all my rare fandoms somehow popped up this month)

the way fire holds by theundiagnosable

Ship: Geralt/Yennefer/Jaskier

“There’s a song there, somewhere, don’t you think?” Jaskier says. “‘A witcher, a sorcerer, and a human walk into a bar’…”

(ROLE REVERSAL FIC HECK YES!! Witcher!Yennefer, Mage!Jaskier, Human!Geralt is amazing omg. It all works out so damn well and the relationship between yennefer and jaskier makes me want to cry so much. Geralt is at peak himbo greatness and it's fantastic haha! Their dynamics are just *chefs kiss* so damn good.)

The Shape of You by lirulin

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

Some people say it's old elven magic, a remnant from before the conjunction of the spheres. Other's will say it's the last fading vestiges of chaos as the modern era slowly drives all magic and wonder out of the world. Those people are, naturally, real killjoys whom Jaskier cannot envision loving anything, but that's fine. To each their own.

Soulmate Spiritual Animal AU

(you have no idea how much i laughed when reading this fic. no idea. jaskier makes me want to scream with how much of a himbo he is and geralt, for once, is not the complete idiot between these two though it's a close call, not gonna lie.)

to grow in adversity by Soulykins

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier, Renfri & Jaskier

“For you!” Julian cried, shoving a fistful of weeds in Renfri’s direction, his smile wide and carefree. Renfri carefully took them in her hands that were only shaking a little bit now, smearing red onto green stems and yellow petals.

Julian clambered into the bed beside her and crawled halfway onto her lap. “I got you flowers, ‘cause you’re so pretty like them!”

“These aren’t flowers, they’re weeds.” Renfri told him, rolling her eyes but allowing the contact with ease. Somedays it seemed like Julian was the only person in the entire castle who wasn’t afraid of her.

“They look like flowers.” He said, crinkling his nose.

“They’re dandelions,” Renfri informed her brother with a tiny smile, “They grow everywhere, even places they perhaps shouldn’t. That’s why they’re a weed.”

“Perhaps they’re a little like you,” She teased, “Growing in even the scariest of places with no fear.” Like a monster’s heart, she doesn’t say.

“Like a superpower!” Julian gasped.

Renfri separated one dandelion from the little clutch and reached out to tuck it behind a little ear. “For the stubborn hero, Jaskier.”

(this is THE fic that got me into the witcher fandom and i can't believe i never reced this before. renfri & jaskier's siblingship is so damn good and just, the amount of effort put into their backstory and relationship makes me want to cry sometimes. and yennefer, ohoho, yennefer is at her Best here, i love her in this fic and her relationship with these siblings! geralt both makes me want to punch him and hug him, which is the norm and totally understandable hahaha! seriously, one of the best witcher fics i've ever read, please please read!)

[Boku no Hero Academia]

Where your love has always been enough (for me) by classicequinox

Ship: Todorki Enji/Todorki Rei

It's a dark coil of anger deep in the pit of his stomach, reminding him that he was the root, the catalyst, the trigger for their family's downward spiral. It did happen - he reminds himself harshly. He can't forget that, even if time has actually reset itself.

Todoroki Enji gets a second chance. It's up to him to see what he can do with it.

(genuinely the most believable enji i've seen regarding how he deals with his past actions and trying to be better and rei being a complicated, good person who i can see matches well with enji. really well done characterization and slow building relationship that is believable to me. enji trying to change things in a meaningful, careful manner makes me want to root for him!)

Katsuki Bakugou Makes A Friend (And Also Almost Dies, But Whatever) by Sif (Rosae)

Katsuki Bakugou is eight years old, he has no idea how he got here, where he is, or who this other kid is with him, but that's not gonna stop him from being brave and tough, just like the hero he's gonna be when he's older!

The universe has other ideas, but Katsuki Bakugou is a child made of spite, hubris, determination, and way too much nitroglycerin, so the universe can take it's ideas and shove 'em. After all, nobody out-stubborns Katsuki. Nobody.

(KID BAKUGOU & KID SHIGARAKI FRIENDSHIP! BAKUGOU STOLE MY HEART! SO SMART, SUCH A HERO! I LAUGHED AND CRIED THROUGHOUT THIS FIC, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS! LITTLE SHIGARAKI MAKES A FRIEND AND IT'S TOO CUTE!!! so freaking adorable, oh lord. fneiwofpweafe)

Play The Field by lalazee for Banna_Banana

Ship: Bakugou/Midoriya

Baseball and feelings, feelings and baseball. Turns out, Bakugou and Deku are both good and bad at the same things. They try to work on it.

(look, i don't even know man. i stumbled upon this baseball au fic and the characterization is so top notch!! the backstories and feelings you get from this matches bakugou and deku's canon relationship perfectly and i flew past this so fast, god. please give this a chance, it's fantastic!)

[Marvel]

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst for Bean_reads_fanfic

Flash, let it be known, doesn’t like Peter. He’s too good at everything—infuriatingly so—and nobody ever calls him on his bullshit, like with AcaDec nationals. Flash has to put his all into everything he does for a fraction of the attention Peter gets for his bare minimum, and it pisses him off, to say the least, so sue him for looking for chances here and there to knock him down a peg.

However, when he notices, he shuts his entire operation down.

Maybe Peter has a decade on his age when he was in the thick of it, but Flash remembers what it was like. He gets having school be a safe place, and nobody, not even himself, is going to jeopardize that for Peter.

Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all.

(flash is fleshed out! flash is getting some Good Rep! flash doing his best and being grumpy but ultimately trying to help peter in what ways he could! flash being a complex character and making me love him all over again! flash! getting some actual freaking attention fewnifoapew! THANK YOU! seriously, if you're looking for an actual good flash fic that doesn't feel disingenuous, read this!)

people were mean to you, but I always thought you were cool by suzukiblu for beckyh2112

Fandoms: Avengers & X-men

“What are your feelings on the mutant threat?!” one of the reporters shouts, and Steve just looks at him.

“I think anyone threatening mutants should be stopped,” he says calmly, and the swarm of reporters explodes, a dozen camera flashes going off at once.

(not exaggerating when i say i've reread this fic so many times that it's honestly concerning. steve & cyclop's friendship here makes me so soft?? they're both leaders of their teams and steve not being what everyone expects of him is always a soft spot for me. will forever be addicted to this fic, please enjoy!)

#notmycap by missgoalie75

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

In which Bucky fully embraces the 21st century and is a salty bitch on Twitter.

(nonono, you don't understand. you don't understand how much i howled and screamed in public while reading this, oh my GOD. honestly the funniest shit i've read in a VERY long time, bucky is Perfect here. fucking drag that guy you beautiful cranky soul. X'D)

#Fanfiction #AO3 #Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Bleach #Gintama #One Piece #Percy Jackson & the Olympians #Haikyuu!!#The Witcher #Boku no Hero Academia #Marvel #The Falcon and the Winter Soldier #X-men

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carryonmylovelies · 3 years

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😎 fic writer interview 😎

thank u for tagging me @carryonsimoncarryonbaz and @bazypitchandsimonsnow and @fight-surrender 🥺🥺 ily guys thank u so so much 💘💘💘

Name: raegan!! some cute bitches on here call me rae which i also like. im thinking about going by casey at some point too so any are sexy and work for me 🐸

Fandoms: omg carry on is my main one have u guys heard of it???? its literally amazing 🤩 i also am majorly slutty for captive prince and the raven cycle 💕💕 but um currently i am tiddies deep in the haikyu!! fandom its kind of crazy 🤡 i watched it at the beginning of quarantine and it took over my entire life. i probably wrote over 30-40k words of random haikyu fics over the summer but i didn't post anything so they just live in a 90 page google document on my laptop 🤪 i also wrote a bit for hunter x hunter and demon slayer. carry on anime stans PLEASE interact 😩😩 i also read a shit ton of webcomics and manhwas so 👀 @milo-fanarts this bitch knows

Where you post: ao3, that sexy drop dead gorgeous love of my life fanfic site 🥵🥵 i also throw my shit on ffn for absolutely no reason except clout. i haven't read anything on there in a Century

Most popular one-shot: uhhhhh Baz's Willpower Vs. Black Leggings has that spot in the bag. it was very fun to write and takes place while they're still at watford for extra flavor. im glad its my most popular one-shot hehe

Most popular multi-chapter: literally the fic i wrote most recently 🤪 you're coming down, i'm warming up. its definitely the fic im most proud of AND it has TWO super sexy pieces of fanart for it i literally scream and pass out every time i look at them. (@lotus-of-light @wunder-kin) two chapters are t and function as a whole fic and then the third chapter is e and is bonus material pretty much 💋

Fic you were nervous to post: uhhhhh probably the last chapter of that one ^^^ bc it was my first time posting smut lmaooooo. but my darling smut beta @milo-fanarts helped me knock that shit out 😎 plus the comments ive gotten on that chapter have all been sooo nice and positive so i think it worked out 😎

How do you choose your titles: my clown brain. occasionally some songs. or i go bother @bazypitchandsimonsnow and @lifeasafail

Do you outline: sorta!! sometimes ill scribble shit in a notebook or my notes app

Do you take prompts: i used to!!!! but um college drains me of my energy and life force like a BITCH so i haven't written anything since before school started :/ not very cash money at all. i am however taking a slutty gap year and getting a full time job since im finishing my associates degree this year so i want to write LOTS on my year off 😈 will probably open prompts up again

Complete: everything on my ao3!!!

In progress: well ive probably got like 3 or 4 LONG fics that i started and never finished rotting in my google docs rn so im hoping to get to those....at some point. im more excited abt the au ive screamed to @milo-fanarts too much abt 👀👀 there are also some longer anime fics i wanna write too so i guess we'll just have to see 😩😩

a big sexy shoutout to @lifeasafail bc she's not only read and helped me edit like all of my snowbaz writing but is also like the one person who has read almost of ALL of the anime shit i churned out over the summer. girl we need some help that shit was crazy.

idk who's been tagged yet im a mentally ill ghost these days akebjwshd ummm @lifeasafail @makedonsgriva @lotus-of-light @theflyingpeach @adamarks @maddy-does @satsukii and of COURSE anyone whose eyeballs read this. tag me tag me tag me i want 2 see 👁👁

#tag games #fanfiction #snowbaz #ME

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kodzumie-archived · 3 years

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I want to submit this anonymously but I can’t rn so oh well,

I had an idea last night for Shuichi with an Ultimate Lawyer S/O so this is sort of a oneshot (yes I used the argument from Ace Attorney Im not creative with law shit)

I wanted to write this genderneutral but I’m insecure about my writing style and I’m used to writing female Mc’s so apologise for that

Also also forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes I’m super dyslexic

Anyway anyway I’m rambling enjoy my brain rot- 👑! Anon

If you ever asked Shuichi Saihara what his thoughts were on trials he'd tell you he hated them. He hated everything about them. Fully believing in the person he was defending only for them to turn around and reveal some truth they hid making him look an idiot.

Trials truely brought out the worst in people in Shuichi's opinion.

Speaking of the detective right at the moment he was enjoying one of his rare quiet moments, sitting outside the courtroom he sighed deeply, this was his least favourite part of solving a case; for some reason part of being the ultimate detective meant he had to appear in court with his client. He wasn't exactly their lawyer but he did play a big part in defending them, But that wasn't the big reason he hated trails, His wallowing in self pity was interrupted when the very reason he was thinking about walked past him and made her way towards the vending machine nearby.

(Y/N) (L/N) The Ultimate Lawyer, anyone that manages to get her to defend them is 100% guaranteed to get cleared of all their charges or at least a very light sentence. And for some reason almost everyone she agreed to defend involved his clients in some way and therefore him.

And he could never win.

No matter how many arguments he and his client had she could take them all down easily, He hated having all the attention on him, everyone at school knew it too, But whenever the two of them were in the courtroom everyone there knew they were in for a show.

He stayed hunched on the seat for a few seconds, waiting wondering if she didn't notice him he could stay outside a little longer. Keeping his stare on her she realised Instead of her usual suit he couldn't help but notice she was wearing a pencil skirt today ending below her knees, everything about her screamed professionalism. He didn't even realise he was staring until she was suddenly standing right in front of him. nothing was said and instead they both just maintained eye contact. Before she turned around and made her way back inside.

He would never understand her.

He wondered if this process could speed up a bit. He hated the courtroom, the smells, the people, the noises, that's why he always watched her he told himself. He kept his eyes on her because she was the only interesting thing there. They way she moved, the passion in her voice when she talked, how she always kept her cool no matter what was thrown at her.

"And that's why your honour my client is innocent"

"Objection!" Shuichi found himself standing up, he'd been listening to every word that had left her mouth, and thanks to that he'd heard something that didn't add up

"(L/N), your client said he found the body 9:30, correct?"

She looked at him, instead of anger or annoyance her eyes held an excitement he'd never seen her have in the courtroom before.

"That is correct Mr Saihara,"

Standing up straight, in a complete reversal of their position before she sat in a seat while he stood tall.

"But there was a blackout, and since we know your client didn't have their phone on them since they ran downtown to call the police correct? So how did they know the time?"

The client decided to speak up

"I- I heard the time on the tv"

"But there was a blackout, so how would the tv be on?"

They opened their mouth

"A-Actually it wasnt the tv, it was the clock!"

Shuichi objected again;

"the murder weapon that had been accepted into evidence earlier was a statue, not a clock"

You were the one who revealed that The Thinker statue did indeed double as a clock; by tilting it, it spoke the time after.

However, Shuichi refused to back down now, and with the look in your eyes as your stared at him made him want to continue.

"there was no way your client could have known about the clock function without having held it in his own hand. The reason that you knew the time was because he was the real killer. As he killed Stone, the clock announced the time, leaving a strong impression on him."

Shuichi spoke, every word held a confidence to it he'd never felt in the courtroom before, and as he stared at (Y/N), her expression for a split second looked shocked, and he thought for once he'd finally put her down a peg, before her face twisted into a smug grin.

"Mr Saihara you seem different today" leaning on her hand her gaze was focused on him, like she didn't even care that she was losing the case at all. Shuichi didn't understand this side of (Y/N). From every argument he'd ever seen in this courtroom she knew every detail and every loophole, she always had a fire inside her and a determination to help her clients, so why was she staring at him like that? The in her gaze that usually appeared when she argued was now fully directed at him.

Her client, infuriated at Shuichi's ruining of his testimony, began to breakdown on the stand, discarding his sycophantic demeanor and angrily throwing his toupee at Wright's face.

This was once of the rare times her client was guilty, but she didn't seem to be affected at all. Outside the courtroom and crouching in front of the vending machine grabbing your snack she didn't seem phased at all when the Ultimate Detective appeared behind her.

"Hey there Saihara"

"What the hell was that?" He spoke, standing up and leaning against the machine she tried to look innocently at him but the wide smirk on her face betrayed her.

"That was not like you at all (L/N), I know damn well you saw the same discrepancy in your clients testimony I did"

Placing your finger up to your lip you feigned innocence

"Did I? Maybe I didn't notice"

"There's no way, your the Ultimate Lawyer, that case should've been child's play" Shuichi frowned, his tone getting louder as he got more annoyed

She laughed, "truth be told Saihara I knew he was guilty since the start"

Shuichi recoiled the tiniest bit at that news, his eyes widening slightly before he regained his composure,

"Then why did you take the case?"

Walking toward she stopped till she was a few steps from pressing her body against the detective who was at that point hide How activity flustered he was. Her hand slipped into his pocket and she left something light in there before leaning to his ear

"Why do you think I take all the cases I know you'll be at shu-i-chi" she whispered, dragging out his first name before walking away, a flounce to her step. Only when she was out of his view he remembered she had slipped something into his pocket, grabbing it and pulling it out to inspect it his face bursted into fifty different shades of red.

'This must've been why you'd worn a skirt today' he thought as he hurried to find a seat on the train so he could get home, trying to inconspicuously place his hat in a specific way on his lap.

He really wanted to get home now. He had something he needed to do.

⤷ Kodzumie; INCREDIBLE!! THIS IS AMAZING, WAAHH..!! I CAN’T EXPRESS HOW HYPED AND EXCITED I GOT DURING THE TRIAL AND THE CONTRADICTION, IT WAS AMAZING!!

AAAH, THE PACING OF EVENTS WAS LITERALLY PERFECT, MY ADRENALINE WAS PUMPING THROUGH IT ALL AAHH!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HOW EVERYTHING PLAYED OUT AND THE NARRARATION!!

THIS IS WRITTEN WONDERFULLY, I ADORE THE STYLE OF NARRATIVE YOU USED!! IT FELT SO RAW; SO PURE OF EMOTION AND PERCEPTION!!

I LITERALLY ADORE THE PERSONALITY YOU’D GIVEN THE READER, THEY WERE SO FUN TO TUNE IN TO!! AND, AAHH, THE ULTIMATE LAWYER IS TRULY SO INTRUIGING, ESPECIALLY PAIRED WITH SHUICHI!!

I CAN’T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS!! SERIOUSLY, IT’S ACTUALLY SO, SO, SOOOO GOOD!! WAAH..!!

DO..! DO YOU HAVE A WRITING BLOG? YOUR WRITING IS SO WONDERFUL, I GENUINELY ADORE THIS ONE-SHOT SO MUCH!! I’D LOVE TO SUPPORT YOUR WORKS, IF YOU’RE COMFORTABLE ENOUGH!!

THIS IS AMAZING!! WAAAH, I LOVE YOUR WRITING WITH MY WHOLE HEART!!

#kodzu.recs!#kodzu.submissions!#kodzu’s.loves!#👑.anon!#submission

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