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lunarw0rks · 11 months

Note

hi! im not sure if you do any requests like this but if you wouldn't mind, with ghost or konig, where the reader is depressed and has suicidal ideations and ghost/konig save them before it's too late? ive gone through somewhat similar things and it would be comforting reading someone be there for them!

A/N: I don't mind requests like this, just read with caution, please! To anon, or anyone reading that has gone through this, you deserve happiness and are loved!! "988" is the nationwide hotline ♡

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° I hope you don't mind, but I chose Ghost since I haven't written for Kӧnig (YET) Italics are Simon's perspective when it's happening at the same time as reader.

Summary: You feel swallowed by depression, but Simon saves you just in time.

Warning(s): depression, talk of suicide, PTSD themes - DO NOT READ IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU!!, established relationship, GN!Reader, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff at the end

Word Count: 1.5k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST // have a request? ♡¸.•*' | ao3 ver.

In Your Arms // Drabble

The world's weight had been on your shoulders; the constriction on your chest gave you a constant state of crisis, the strain on your heart soon to break it to pieces, and most of all the strain on your mind.

Each waking moment was a gamble of numbness or overdrive. In the instances of numbness, you were withdrawn, coasting your way through meals, laying awake at night with a blank stare. When you were in overdrive, it was like each bad thought physically pilled itself atop you, increasing your irritability and defensiveness.

It was as if the real you were trapped inside somewhere, but you were being overruled by an enclosure of gloom.

Chores, conversations, and the people you loved dearly became a melancholy hassle. You hated every second of it, and most of all hated yourself for behaving like this. At first, you were begging for an out—some savior to snap you out of it.

But now, you felt hopeless—and were making plans to give yourself that out.

You finally had an opportunity, a few hours where you’d have the house to yourself, with Simon out for a few hours. The problem was, gathering the courage. Even though you had the thoughts raining down on you, it was a decision you would never be able to take back.

You were sat in the shared bedroom, on top of the bed you’d just remade. It had been God knows how long by now, and all you could do was stare blankly at the wall ahead, choking back sobs. You looked at his side of the room, seeing the stark contrast between his and yours.

When you thought of him, how he’d be better off this way, it nudged you toward your answer.

Simon noticed your off-balance behavior the day he arrived home. Despite telling you how lovely you looked, he could tell the isolation of his deployment had taken its toll. The bags under your eyes, the dark circles worsening, your sudden change in eating habits—something he greeted like an old friend.

He, of all people, understood the feeling. He just didn’t know how to confront it.

He was never good with his words, or his ability to provide comfort physically; he relied on his crisis training, and most of all, how much he loved you.

When he said he was going out with friends, he was. At first. He found himself sitting in the driveway with a pit in his stomach, his anxieties swallowing him. He was protective, to begin with, but paired with the behavior changes, he was practically trembling at the thought of something horrible happening.

He was white-knuckling the steering wheel, debating on spending his night inside with you. Guilt consumed him for even considering going out anywhere when you’d waited months for him.

His stomach was in knots, twisting and turning, begging him to give in to nausea overtaking him any second. Something was wrong, something was going to happen.

You were fighting yourself again. The thoughts were racing so hard you could swear you heard them buzzing around your head like an angry swarm of wasps, each of them a stinger in your skin.

You reached for the nearest object—the remote—then stood to your feet, sending it plummeting towards the wall in front of you. It shattered the hanging picture frame on impact, sending shards of glass around the bedroom.

It did nothing to silence the thoughts. The sudden rush of fury only fueled them, begging for you to do something more to stop them—the only option you felt you had left.

He had his car door open, gathering his things before he was on his way inside. He’d made his decision, he would rather spend the night with you.

Simon’s trained ear heard the faint shatter of glass, seeing that the upstairs bedroom was the only one lit. There was no hesitation; no second thought to make sure it wasn’t a critter in the garbage can or another household.

He unlocked the door swiftly, a hand hovering over the holster underneath his jacket. The downstairs was clear, nothing askew. He next went up the stairs, leaning in the direction of the bedroom to pick up any sound coming from it.

In his mind, he was fearing the worst, paired with the anxiety he was already having in the car. He’d been here before, with too many people. It couldn’t, no, wouldn’t happen again, not with you.

When the door creaked open, it revealed you, shriveled against the wall with your head in your hands. Beside you, was a broken picture frame, sent flying into pieces around the room. His mind put the pieces together—the irritability, the insomnia, the withdrawn behavior, his gut feeling—all coming together now.

But his worst fears hadn’t come true. You were alive. Alive, and in need of his help. His gut feeling, that painful ache in his stomach when he left, it was right.

His knees dropped to the ground beside you, ignoring the slices forming through his clothes. His entire focus was on you, nothing else.

“Love…” He whispered, grabbing ahold of your knee to make you look his way. When your pooled eyes met him again, he felt like his heart had been ripped in two.

The sight of you, the pain written in your expression. Not physical pain, not heartache, but hopelessness. A specific, known too well by him, expression.

Simon could barely stand it, the person he practically breathed for, fought for, succumbing to their sorry—and he could’ve been too late. The warmth of your flesh under his fingertips, how it shivered, he knew you were still here, still breathing.

He was at a loss for words, even for a man who spoke very little. Angry at himself, not you, for not saying something earlier on. His withdrawal was both a blessing and a curse—a lesson well learned, now that his life with you had flashed before him.

Without a second thought, he scooped you up, setting you gently on the neat bed. He remained standing in front of you, staring down at you with a foggy expression.

“I’m sorry,” You muttered, blinded by the tears.

Simon visibly shook his head, forcing yours into his chest. It wasn’t your fault, and if he could force you to believe that, he would. He didn’t have words to give you, only the comfort of his presence. He just held you; held onto your frame as you wept into his abdomen, soaking through the fabric of his tee.

Tears only teased at his own eyes, but never made it past them. Though internally, he was weeping for you, nearly inconsolable.

It was his job to follow orders, to do his duty. His duty now, was you. He had to be strong for you, always, otherwise he had no purpose left on this Earth.

When the sobs had turned into defeated sniffles, he dropped to his knees to meet your eye level. Him, never one for eye contact, but he couldn’t take his eye off you now.

“I’m here now, I promise.” His deep voice echoed through the room, bouncing off your repines for his comfort.

You were still in shock, how one minute ago you were so close to the edge, but the next he was by your side. The sorrow only subsided for the moment, but with him as a distraction, you knew you had at least one person there for you. One person who understood what you were going through, no doubt about it.

His large hands, the ones stained with the blood of his hands, gently cradling your face until you were lucid enough to give him your full attention. He was there for you, no matter how hard the stubborn thoughts tried to convince you he wasn’t.

They moved from your face, to your neck and arms, then your fingers, searching for any sign of physical injury.

“Let me help you, please…” Simon placed a small kiss on one of the tear droplets streaming down, wiping away the rest with his thumb. His hand went down again, clasping around yours tenderly as he routed you to the shared bathroom.

He grabbed a spare cloth off the rack, wetting it slightly in the sink as he traced it along each tear stain, his other hand on your waist the entire time. He was focused and stiff, but his eyes were gentle.

When he finished, he cupped your face again, touching his lips to yours, then your temple. “You are everything to me, got it?” He whispers against your forehead, eyes still wide, reeling with the shock of nearly losing you.

Your head was in his chest again as one hand remained on your waist, the other holding your head in place. He was savoring this, not taking you for granted for a second.

Deep inside, he was picturing all those months he’d left you alone to feel like this.

How each tear he wiped was a lash of regret. He was going to make up for it from now on. Whether he could help you one on one, or you talk to a professional, he would back you every step of the way.

That was his duty.

#simon riley x reader #mw2 fanfic #mw2 #simon riley #call of duty #task force 141 #ghost mw2 #task force 141 x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley angst #tw depression

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freyito · 7 days

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ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴀʀᴅᴇɴ

✭ pairing(s): gallagher x ftm reader

★ summary: Gallagher has been the only one in your life to make you feel like a man. Even if you can mold and shape yourself in the Dreamscape, make yourself look and feel as Cis as you want, and yet, nothing has been able to fill the hole you feel within your very existence... aside from Gallagher. And now you can't find him. You can't find Gallagher. You can't find him.

✧ a/n: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!! im gonna be writing a lot more x male readers and especially a lot more x ftm readers... i started this blog cause wherever i looked in whatever fandom i was in i never found many male readers... and especially barely any ftm ones... and it feels like i havent written any proper x m! reader fics in a while, soooo... we'll start here. i'll still write gn reader of course!!!! but i like lowkey haven't written much that matches my identity in a bit.

🗒 cw: ftm reader, 2.2 story spoilers, dysphoria like mad dysphoria, anxiety, depression, sensory overloard, grief (?), hurt/no comfort, proofread

✎ wc: 2.2k

The Dreamscape has been quiet lately. Even Golden Hour was quiet, silent, and whenever you looked to the sky, its brilliance had begun to dim. The Dreamflux Reef had always been quiet, too, and yet now, it was uncanny. Micah had been so aloof, answering your questions curtly, and Gallagher hadn’t even sent you a text. Every time you texted him, it never went through, as if he wasn’t in an area with service. Which was normally okay, you knew he had to be out on a job or something, but it had been a whole week and he hadn’t even come back to his bar. When you had asked anyone about Gallagher, they had given you this look like they didn’t know where your lost dog was… which isn’t exactly far from the truth, you suppose. But you could see some sort of guilt behind their eyes. And that made you uneasy.

Sure, he had gone weeks at a time without being with you, but he always sent texts, and most people knew where he was, especially the locals. His last text to you was an ‘I love you babyboy.’, which isn’t abnormal, he had a habit of texting you that specifically around five times a day. He had to drill it into your head. He always made sure you knew you were loved, especially by him. You were ‘something special’, as he said, ‘the best thing that ever happened to him’, ‘his pretty boy’, and the list goes on. But your phone remains eerily silent.

You can’t help but check it every other minute, wading through the crowds of Golden Hour, the last place you wanted to be right now. No one in Dreamflux Reef would give you a definitive answer, no one had seen him, or if they had, they gave you indecisive answers. He was out on a case, he was at the lounge, anything to get you off their backs. You had to admit, you were becoming increasingly nagging, annoying, even. But who wouldn’t? Your boyfriend had been gone a whole week with no trace of him, no communication, and you were starting to think the worst.

Golden Hour makes your head spin, looking under every literal rock you can find, getting any info you can from the most lucid strangers and even mumbling drunkards. You are desperate, any little bit of information you use. Even if they had just seen a man with brown hair or a man with hazel eyes. Of course, none lead you to Gallagher. And the Bloodhounds aren’t of any help either, they all stare at you with confused looks and some even tell you to stop playing around.

You’ve already given up, the hustle and bustle of Golden Hour making you feel even more hopeless, the feel of everyone's eyes on you, not fitting in, it all sinks in once more. You were better off putting up lost dog posters at that point. Was it possible for people to go missing in the dreamscape? You had no idea, but you were holding onto the hope that perhaps this was all some twisted nightmare that had crept into your head, but each step you took disproved that thought.

Perhaps reality will have answers, and while you feel so reluctant to wake up, to be seen once more. You had never met Gallagher out of the dreamscape, and only now did you realize what you could be getting yourself into. Perhaps he had just… left? After so many years? Surely not, right?

You return to reality, unsteady. Your body feels frail, even if you had been maintaining it properly. It feels odd to be back in reality, where suddenly how you look, how you talk, and your mannerisms all mattered. You had to act masculine, you had to shut up and walk tall, hyper aware of the eyes on you. Even if it only takes only a minute to get to the front desk, even if you know the guests will never recognize you in the dreamscape. You still can’t help but feel self-conscious, being able to hide behind the veil of the dreamscape for so long, now out in reality, feeling as if you were stripped bare for all to see. Which you weren’t, but perhaps your nerves were getting to you.

When you reach the front counter, your nerves don't abate. They only grow in size, the fear quickly creeping through your system. There was no guest named Gallagher, and you didn’t even know what room he had been staying in. They can’t tell you anything considering that you yourself aren’t the customer they are looking for. But the way they look at you just as the people in Golden Hour and Dreamflux Reef do tells you all.

Reluctantly, you make it back to your room. You don’t know if you want to go back to the Dreamscape, you’re already shook up as is. If something so dire could make you resurface from the vast, blissful ocean that was the Dreamscape, why would you go back? No sign of him for a week, reality or otherwise, and not a word from those closest to him. Do you really wish to go back? Where you know your current efforts have failed. Where that sinking feeling that you know he’s gone takes hold of you?

You stare at the dreampool for a second longer, trying your best to shove down your doubts and your fears, and sink back into the sweet allure of dreams, waking up once more in the Dreamflux Reef. You stay where you are for another minute, a place you’ve called home for several years, a place that would be filled with hearty laughter, maybe even the clinking of glasses, and smell like Gallagher’s mild cologne. That scent has dimmed recently, either because he hadn’t come home, or perhaps you were… used to it. His clothes were still strewn about on the bed, what he was going to wear the day after he had disappeared. You didn’t dare move them, not once, afraid of losing all the little things about him.

When you finally exit the house, the streets feel colder. It’s even quieter than before, and most residents look… somber. Perhaps they always looked that way, and you just didn’t know. You figure you’d try your luck with Micah again, either to get closure or just wallow with someone who was close to Gallagher, you are unsure.

You had done your best to ignore the… tower that seemed to breach out of nowhere in the Reef, despite how tall it had been and just how oddly enchanting it was. You, like many of the Penacony locals, didn’t enjoy change. To have something like that just simply grow out of the ground you knew when those Trailblazers came around was jarring. That had also been the day that Gallagher had stopped coming home, and the events that followed had made you so desperate to find him once more. This beautiful dream, torn asunder by some madman’s delusion of a grander, peaceful life. You never did like the family, you never liked Sunday.

On that note, Micah was nowhere to be seen, at least where you looked. Not all the way down in the alleys or by the train station, not in the dive bar playing pool, nowhere. You had no where but to ascend those damned stairs that faced towards a false moon. You didn’t want to, not at all. It wasn’t intimidating, but every time you lingered near it for too long, you felt uneasy. It had an air to it that spoke of danger, something that told you it ‘was not for you’. And here you were, stood in front of it and the three graves that paid homage to it.

The first step you take bathes you in a stillness unlike one you’ve ever felt. Tranquility follows as you continue to walk, the world is suddenly so quiet, the hustle and bustle of the Reef fades out, and you are left with blissful nothingness. The only sound that follows you is your steps. It isn’t so bad when you think about it, it’s comforting, in a way.

Micah is tending to the plants that surround a small little courtyard. He’s relaxed, untensed, and seems genuinely at peace. It’s been rare to see someone like that in recent days. When he hears you, he lifts his head and gives you a soft smile, one that reeks of pity, as if he knows what you are going to ask him.

“Micah–”

“I have no idea where Gallagher is,” Micah sighed, his smile faltering slightly. “Not a text, not a word.”

At this point, you knew people were lying to you. Micah’s reminder only makes you realize just how much people were. “I know that. Tell me what happened to him.”

Micah is taken aback by your blunt reaction, but easily gives in. The jig is up it seems, and he doesn’t fight back any longer. With a soft huff and slump of his shoulders, he sets aside his current task, turning his full attention towards you.

“Then we’re gonna have to sit down and talk. It’s a bit of a doozy.”

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Your head spins with all the details. It’s all so confusing, Gallagher, being… fictional? The man you had fallen in love with was simply just a creation, not tangible, not real. What were you supposed to do with that information? All you had been doing for the past hour or so is staring at the wall. Your room is silent, as is all things now, dark and lonely. It’s suffocating. You feel empty, devoid of whatever was there, whatever had filled the hole in your heart, as cliche as it was.

A hollow home, a hollow heart, and not a soul to mend it. Those welcoming arms are no more, or perhaps, never were. And yet, his clothes still remain, his toothbrush and cologne and shampoo and everything else stay in the bathroom as if he were. If you spaced out long enough, you could still hear his hearty laughter, if you sink a little deeper into the pillows you can smell faint traces of his shampoo. Anything to hold onto what you love. Who you love.

You need to drown yourself in something before you lose your mind. You want to cry, and yet… you can’t. It is still all catching up to you. You wander around the house mindlessly, desperate for something to happen. Anything. But there is nothing. When you stop, there is null, a terrifying distance between you and the empty kitchen. You have to get out of here, you have to leave, this home is not yours anymore. It is simply a house.

Your feet bring you away from the Reef, finally, settling you in the Reverie. You follow a familiar path, one that you had walked on a particularly bad night, that had led you to the Dreamjolt Holstery. It was unwise of you to fall in love with the mixologist, but here you were, several years in, finding out he was quite literally made up.

Slowly, you take a seat at the bar, the lounge around you empty, dead. You have no idea where the bartender is, but you don’t care. This is the same seat you had taken that night. It was something you should’ve forgotten, really, such a minor detail that now felt all too big and meaningful to your heart. You can still remember what had torn you up, it was a particularly bad day, feeling too dysphoric, and no matter what you did, even in the Dreamscape, it had done nothing to affirm your identity more. So you sought out a drink, or a few, to wash down that bitter taste that plagued your taste buds all day. And there he was, a little disheveled as always, eyebags, gravelly voice, something about him just… washed over you as if he were a dream. Which, looking back, apparently he was. You remember fighting between two thoughts; wanting to be him, or wanting him. To be a man so… masculine, gruff, big and intimidating, something like that…

Your nostalgic daydream is broken by steps, and a figure above you. You look up, hoping that you’ll see the same scene once more, that Gallagher will shoot you a smile and a chuckle, ask you what’s got you down, but instead, it’s Siobhan. She looks down at you with a sympathetic smile, as if she knows exactly what you were thinking about. You can’t tell if you feel angry or sad, or neither. You simply push those feelings down.

“What can I get you tonight?” She asks, her voice even and calm as always.

You take a minute to think, unsure if you want something strong to keep you occupied or something that could serve as a tribute. Ultimately, you settle with…

“A glass of uh… The Big Sleep,” You can’t help but chuckle lightly at the name, even if the chuckle was devoid of joy. Siobhan doesn’t mention it, simply smiles and nods.

“... To the ghosts of the past?”

“Yeah… to the ghosts of the past.”

#⁺◟freyito #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #gallagher x reader #gallagher hsr x reader #hsr x male reader #honkai star rail x male reader #gallagher x male reader #gallagher hsr x male reader #hsr x ftm reader #honkai star rail x ftm reader #gallagher x ftm reader #gallagher hsr x ftm reader

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deathbxnny · 11 months

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well since we are requesting angst.. i will request one too >:]

aihoshino!teenreader dying in the same way as ai hoshino

so for more context; a fan/admirer comes to them one day, they bring them white lilies and then stab them in the stomach, as [insert character] goes to check up on them, they see the reader bleeding from the stomach and the fan holding a bloody knife throwing insults at them, despite being brutally stabbed, the reader still goes on a monologeu to explain themself to their admirer, the fan gets into panic after this and runs away, the reader had abdominal aortic tear so it would be impossible to save them without proper treatment, as their stomach bleeds, they tell [insert character] that they love and appreciate them (platonically) as they die in their arms, dying with a smile on their face

the characters are stelleron hunters, yeah im sorry (for blade especially)T-T

-----♡

A/N: What better way to come back from a small break, than with heart-wrenching angst? But in all seriousness, thank you for the great request Anon!

Content: Reader dies, teen reader, hurt/no comfort, angst, mentions of severe injury, mentions of blood, platonic relationships, just pain really

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Kafka

Kafka wasn't home when it happened. She left you alone for a couple hours to run some errands and told you to never open the door to anyone. But you were still so young and naive, that you didn't think twice when opening the door anyways to the man, who told you he was an assistant of the Stellaron hunters.

Kafka should've known better, than to leave you alone and now that she held you bleeding out in her arms, she realised that it was useless to think about anymore anyways. You were about to die. Your breaths were shallow and no amount of pressure to your injury seemed to make it better. The medic team would take an eternity to arrive and by then it would be too late. It was hopeless and you both knew it.

And so you decided to comfort her, gently apologising for being so foolish and not listening to her. She tried to shush you, but it was a weak attempt, as tears of agony brimmed in her eyes. You continued to speak, words becoming softer and softer by the second, as your life ran out of your eyes. You smiled, thanking her for everything and telling her that you'll see her again in another life, before finally letting go. Your smile was etched eternally onto your face, as the silence was filled with Kafka's soft cries for you to come back.

-----♡

》Blade

Blade left the home out of anger. He was sick of you being a brat and not listening to his warnings, which made him overwhelmed and just leave for a moment to cool off. He never wants to get angry to the point of yelling or insulting you, as he did understand that you were just a kid, who hasn't experienced as much as he did. But with leaving you so enraged, he left you feeling guilty and lonely. So guilty and lonely, that you opened the door expecting it to be Blade, only to be stabbed brutally by a man you didn't know.

And Blade came home to you at the brink of death, an excited, weak smile gracing your lips like it always did when you saw him. You tried reaching out to him, wanting to at least apologise, but he was frozen at the door, his eyes wide in terror. He didn't know what to do, his mind for once empty at the sight of the kid he took care of for so long, just dying. But then he just fell to his knees and slowly engulfed you in his embrace. He couldn't say anything.

And it was alright, because you were glad to at least die in his arms now. You apologised to him, told him he was right, told him that you loved and appreciated him. You felt something warm drop onto your cheek and you noticed he was crying. He's never done that before. Him crying over you made you smile wider, happy to know that he did care for you even now. He finally eventually opened his mouth to speak, apologising for leaving you. But by then it was too late. Your eyes were empty.

-----♡

》Silver Wolf

Silver Wolf was in her room finishing up some work, when you told her that the doorbell rang. She indifferently told you to open it, not looking away from her screen, to which you obliged and left again. After a while, she noticed that it was too quiet. Pulling off her headphones, she sat there for a moment, before hearing you call her name weakly. Her body moved faster than her brain could process, as she practically ran downstairs to see you lying in a pool of your blood, clutching onto a lethal injury.

She immideatly scrambled to your side, couple screens opening up before her, as she tried typing and applying pressure onto your injury at the same time. If she could get a medic team to arrive, maybe there is still a chance to save you. But your bloodied hand stopped her, knowing it was too late. Tears welled up in her eyes as she just hugged you in defeat, the screens disappearing.

She pathetically listened to you gently comfort her, telling her that it was alright and that you were thankful for having her in your life. She didn't understand what you were thanking her for, especially when she couldn't even save you from dying like this. Hearing you take your last breath must've been the worst part to her. She hugged you for a moment longer, before slowly raising her head, seeing your cold smile and empty eyes. The silence was deafening, as she just dropped her head again and cried in shame.

-----♡

A/N: Alright, I hope this was okay and angsty enough! Thank you again for the request!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr blade #hsr blade x reader #hsr kafka #hsr kafka x reader #hsr silver wolf #hsr silver wolf x reader #hsr

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jaybirdss · 1 year

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Hey there✨ I was wondering if ud be willing to write headcanons for the ninja with an s/o that often gets overwhelmed with crowds n generally is socially anxious? I understand tho if that's something u are not be comfortable with

Either way I wish you all a wonderful day✨

(and thank you sm for creating this blog, it's a pleasure to read ur guys' writing📖)

content warning, anxiety and panic attacks

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. I just speed ran it and i'm pretty happy with how this came out. I know these aren't headcanons, I started doing this and...didn't want to change it tbh. I hope you enjoy this anyway, thank you so much for requesting. gender neutral :) !!-Ro🛼

Having known you for so long, the ninja were aware of your social anxiety, and have always tried to the best of their ability to avoid situations that were overwhelming with large crowds and loud noises. They switch up their routines to make you more comfortable such as going to the supermarket at a later hour so there would be less people, or calling in an order and going in to get it for you. They always do so without complaint, insisting it's not a big deal and that you're worth it. Of course, however, they can't always deviate from the plan, and sometimes there's no other way around than through a large, loud crowd of people.

COLE

Cole was no stranger to your rough mornings, the ones where you feared to leave the house, to get up and start your day paralyzed by the possibility of not being as productive as possible. On most days like these he could get you up with the promise of your favorite breakfast and helping you in whatever endeavor that was stressing you out. Today however, was one of the days where no matter what was said it felt hopeless. Cole sat by you, looking over you while you stared into space. "If you get up, you'll feel better" he reminded you, though it went in one ear and out the other. The only recognition you gave him that you heard him was a brief glance in his direction. Cole stared at you for a moment, trying to figure out how to help you get out of bed. A big dramatic sigh caught your attention, "I guess I have no choice then..." was all the warning you got before Cole flopped on top of you. You yelped, trying to pull yourself out from under him. "Time to bring out the tickle monster!" he yelled, sitting on top of you and digging into your sides. Without wanting to, you laugh and jerk around, fighting with him trying to push him off. You can't help rolling around and squealing and smiling so big your cheeks start to hurt. "Cole- st- stop!" you yell, grabbing at him. "Will you get out of bed?" he asks over your yelps and giggles. "Yes ! Yes I'll get up!" and immediately his fingers stop digging into your soft sides, opting instead to brush hair out of your face, leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose. You catch your breath slowly, your eyes creasing with your smile. "Come on, what do you want for breakfast?"

----

NYA

Nya smiled, taking your hand in hers gently. "I'll be there the whole time, promise". As comforting as her voice was, looking from her eyes to the looming general store sign made your gut swell with anxiety all over again. You weren’t too prepared to go out today, it wasn’t set in your plans and Nya presented this so suddenly. It wasn’t her fault, of course. But the fault of the lack of eggs in the fridge needed for tonight’s dinner. You chewed your lip and looked at your feet. We’re you even presentable? You shifted your feet, covered by slippers, your fingers pinching at the large hoodie that framed you baggily, my god, was that a stain?-. "This is all we have to do today, in and out, then we can go home and watch movies all day." Nya reminded you, bringing you out of your little daze, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. The stress of making a decision on if you would go in the store or not only made you more anxious. You didn't want to disappoint her by not going in, but you didn't want to go in with her and be a burden. It was nothing new for Nya, a chance of being recognized, recognized would mean excess people. Between the pressure of making a choice and then having to live with that choice felt like life or death. Though of course it wasn't, and Nya tried to remind you of that, it just felt so intense. And now people were starting to stare, as you'd been stood in front of the store for a few minutes. After taking a deep breath, you took a long stride forward. Nya smiled encouragingly, though you couldn't see it with your head down…

Back in the car, Nya asked if she could hug you, aware you might be overstimulated. "I'm so proud of you! You did really well"

----

KAI

Kai pushed through the thick crowd of people, one hand paving way for the two of you and the other holding yours tightly. It wasn't long before the two of you broke free, finding refuge on an empty side street. Whether or not it was empty wasn't something you noticed until Kai appeared in your direct line of vision. Panicked breaths drew in and out rapidly while you looked around. You weren't sure where you were, but it was apparent you were away from the crowd. You could still hear them but they sounded distant. Further inspection revealed it was just you and Kai some ways into a side street. Realizing you were alone, your thoughts started to clear up, the fog fading with the panic. You felt tears forming, a familiar stinging in your eyes. You welcomed them, thinking faintly that it's good to feel your emotions. Kai stood watching, waiting for you to ask if you needing something, or maybe needed a hug. He wasn't sure if he should touch you without asking, so he waited patiently in front of you. Your eyes closed and you reached forward, both of your hands gripping onto the front of his zip up jacket. The fabric offering a different feeling to focus on. Your hands ran up and down the fabric, feeling the cool metal of the zipper. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. You repeated these actions until you felt your heart settle and your mind empty. When you opened your eyes, Kai was right in front of you. He offered a small smile. "Can we go home?" you ask, a small smile cracking. Even though Kai had seen you through some of your worst, it was still a little embarrassing to let him see you so upset. He then smiled with you, with a soft loving glance he returned your soft tone. "Yeah, do you wanna order take out or something?"

----

JAY

Jay knocked on your bedroom door with his knuckles, hearing a grunt from the otherside. His brows furrowed, and he called your name. "I'm coming in okay?" he received another grunt. jay wasn't sure what he was expecting when he opened your door, but it definitely wasn't all your belongings to be all over the floor and bed. Nestled between clothes and books and trash was you, curled up in your bed staring at the wall. Jay closed the door, and made his way over to you stepping carefully between the mess. When he crouched to eye level he found your eyes glossed over with tears, and when you looked from the wall to him they leaked over and fell down your cheeks. Immediately Jay leaned forward, wiping your tears. This only made things worse. You started to sob violently, sitting up and clinging to Jay. He held you close, trying to thinking of what he could do for you. He settled on just holding you, rubbing your back and helping you regulate your breathing when you started to hiccup. Eventually, you calmed down enough to tell him what happened. "I just..I wanted to clean my room and I started and, and now I'm so overwhelmed I don't nuh-know what to do" you wailed, clinging to his shirt. Jay frowned. He'd gone though this very same thing many times, getting ahead of himself and then realizing he bit off more than he could chew. It was a stressful thing, looking around at all this mess and thinking you had to clean it up. "It's okay, I'll help you" he said finally. You pulled back sniffling "You don't have to do that Jay" he smiled, wiping a stray tear. "I know I don't have to, but I want to" Jay pulled the sleeve of his shirt over his hand, drying the rest of your face. "We'll do it in sections, tomorrow. You can sleep with me until your bed is sorted out"

----

ZANE

You frowned, rifling through your closet looking for the shoes you planned your outfit with. You went through your whole closet twice but still couldn't find them. At this rate you would be late before you found them. You stomped out of the closet feeling that familiar warmth in your cheeks and the stinging of fresh tears. You sat down on your bed with a huff, one of your legs bouncing up and down. Zane walked in to ask if you were ready to go, stopping when he could see you were visibly upset. "Is something wrong?" he asked, walking closer. "Yes!" you exclaimed, letting your emotions leak into your voice. You winced. "Sorry, I just.." You paused, steadying your breathing before continuing. Zane sat next to you, a hand resting on your knee. "I planned my outfit with the shoes I can't find and I don't want to wear other shoes because they won't look as good and i don't have time to plan another outfit! But we'll be late at this point, and we can't be late" you rambled, finishing looking hopelessly at the floor. Zane hummed, "Well, what do the shoes look like?" After explaining the shoes to him, he stood up, pulling you with him. "Two people searching is faster than one" he smiled. After splitting up and looking in the living room and bathroom, and then under your bed the shoes were found. By the time the two of you found the shoes, your mood had improved. Zane made searching for the shoes less stressful with his positive remarks and playful attitude. He carried you to the car, saying if you wanted to be on time that you would have to put your shoes on in the car, though he later admitted to wanting to carry you. In the end you made it with just a few minutes to spare.

#lego ninjago x reader #zane julien x reader #kai smith x reader #nya smith x reader #jay walker x reader #cole brookstone x reader #gender neutral reader #ro🛼#gn reader #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago x reader #writing #cole brookstone #nya smith #kai smith #zane julien

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shanieveh · 11 months

Text

hanie's masterlist !

— i write mostly various because i can never be loyal to one man for too long

— they all/almost include my faves except for part twos: kaveh, scaramouche, kaeya, alhaitham

— uhm me subcategory them or saying the men involved in these fics... is for another day im tired

— all of them are sfw please i repeat DONT request nsfw works i see you on asks even if anonymous. yes there's profanity or suggestive innuendos in my first smau but PLEASE i do not write those stuff and im VERY MUCH uncomfortable with people requesting them thankssss <3

works (genshin impact)—

rosemary dreams and sweet lullabies

— the comfort of sleep when he is beside you, the moment when you cared more about the reality of the moment rather than the dreams that come along with it

how you love the genshin men

— how you love them depending on their personality and if they liked you back (some didnt angst ensues but there is fluff i promise)

the day... the music died

— you died, their reaction (some gore? idk)

i like you so much, you'll know it pt. 1

—the things they do for love

im in love with you, and know you know pt. 2

— the things they do for love also just different characters i dont really care about.... but they are kinda cool so its OKAY

call me, "lover boy"

— courting you and what made you like them back

being the genshin men's first priority

— they forget everything and anything when you're in the picture. you are all that matters (did i write this during a mental breakdown when i realize how unimportant i am to everyone? yes)

dangerously yours

— wdym this is based on anakin skywalker?! it is. enemies to lovers, you're the hero and he is the villain

salut d'amour

— based on the love of elgar (the creator of salut d'amour) to his wife though not the same plot just that love and affection you feel during the piece

genshin men crushing on you

— self-explanatory. grown adult men pining over you, should be just kaveh but i got carried away and added them all because why not?

10 things i hate about you

— red flags of genshin men based on the poem from the same name (pls watch it) and how ur blind from all the signs (or u just pretend)

i was enchanted to meet you

— first meetings with them cute and wholesome i guess

haunted by the ghost of you

— all alone they still can't help but feel another presence, as memories barely buried resurfaced his mind, of a quieter time, of a simpler life.

karma is my boyfriend

— more crack than fluff fic about how the genshin men will obliterate those that dare hurt you like who would???

when im no longer young and beautiful

— growing old with them (personal fave)

crying in the genshin men' arms

— you cry, they comfort, fluff ensues

"who did this to you?"

— you're hurt and for some reason enemy!genshin men are concerned and doing everything to make you feel better

"forget me not" (neuvillette)

—fontaine is experiencing heavy typhoons and severe floods, and you might just be the reason why

please don't take my sunshine away...

—can't sleep? maybe a lullaby can help :)

to all the boys i've loved before

— you made a letter to your crush, he likes you back, chaos ensues in how he responsed

when you know, you know

— soulmates are a fantasy made by hopeless romantics, but as soon as he saw you he started to doubt that. he was in love.

"what letters?"

— he ghosted your letters is a sign he never loved you, and as you move on your life he comes back, only to tell you a shocking revelation.

"hey are you still there?" "good."

— only needed when everything goes wrong, when he's no longer in her arms. you felt used. but do you stop? never, he was worth it. (inspo by NIKI's song: backburner)

works (honkai star rail) —

the best thing that's ever been mine

— capturing the mind, the heart, the body and the soul of honkai star rail men

when you know, you know

— soulmates are a fantasy made by hopeless romantics, but as soon as he saw you he started to doubt that. he was in love.

#genshin x reader #honkai star rail x you #nievenavigation> <#nievepost:d #nievemasterlist0_0 #genshin x you #genshin imagines

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mommyghostface28 · 1 month

Note

hii Ghosty. im sorry for bothering you with this, i know there's a huge wave of followers and you're drowning in asks but i really don't know who else would understand,none of my friends are queer. i just got off the phone with my mom and i wish we didn't talk today. i guess, she was emotional or sth, anyways, at some point she just started playing a victim - and the bad thing that happened to her is me coming out to her and quoting "cutting off her wings". and then ofc not the first time she said she regrets having me, i mean, it doesn't hurt me anymore that much, she told me this many many times for different reasons also. but i just, i live in Russia and in a small city also, it's very homophobic and lonely for queer people. i literally don't have any queer friends irl and every time i think that a new person in my life is also queer - they aren't. my straight friends are aware that im a lesbian but won't ever understand me or some of them won't even let me speak about girls when all they do is talk about boys ofc. i just. ugh idk what i want to hear or whatever. i just feel so hopeless about my romantic/sexual life. everyone is straight or homophobic or both. interactions with queers here is honestly all i have. idk, the lufe i could've had if i was straight... i wouldn't be lonely and would most likely have a partner. but i never had anyone. sorry im very emotional rn and idk what i want from you. you can just ignore this

-☄️

hi my lovely comet! You don’t need to apologize for coming to talk to me, it’s what I’m here for ❤️

It always breaks my heart when I hear stories of parents treating their queer child like this. Losing sense of humanity for your child is just insane to me. I’m sorry love..truly I am. You’re not a mistake for being you. You were made exactly how you should be. You deserve to be here. Not much in this world will soothe the sting of a mother’s words, I just want to remind you that apart from that, you’re perfect as yourself. It’s the world that’s the biggest problem. And of course you being from where you are doesn’t make the situation any better. It’s hard to feel safe and even harder to share things when you don’t have friends or family to turn to for support.

I’m happy that you can turn to your community for support. For kindness and acceptance. And I KNOW the community here will have your back. They’ll offer words, sympathy, a hug, a story to share. I hope that brings you some sort of comfort, I hope you know you can come here anytime you need to get something heavy off your chest. It gets really hard to carry it all alone.

I don’t want you to feel alone though, so if you ever need me I’m definitely here ❤️ sending you so, so many hugs. I wish I could make you feel safer, but you’ll definitely always have my support.

-☄️

#wlw nsft #wlw ns/fw #nsft wlw #lesbian nsft #sapphic nsft #nsft lesbian #bd/sm mommy #wlw domme #lesbian #sapphic ns/ft #nsft sapphic #sapphic ns/fw #☄️

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supergigabigboybabechad · 9 months

Note

idk if i interpret your posts right but it seems like you do matchups for twisted wonderland? May I get one?

Im female and go by she/her. Im an ENTP, my zodiac is gemini and I’m about 165cm tall. I’m pretty energetic and always smile since hard feelings like grief, anger or sadness are really overwhelming for me since I am pretty „sensitive“ meaning I take most things to heart easily. I always give advice and help to others and I try to be the best version of myself to make them feel comfortable. I make lots of bad jokes while knowing they are bad. I get lots of compliments for my Singing voice and writing. I also love love love to Infodump like i can talk for hours about something or someone I like. I love wearing pink things with ruffles or lace and I’d say I’m pretty girly over all. I try to act tough and always give everything to make others happy. Im a Great cook and a hopeless romantic. I also have a 8 step skincare routine… I see beauty and worth in everything and love to help people build confidence and self-love. My favorite artist is currently Mitski, since I really relate to her music. I have some father problems going on which make me want to be cared for, but at the same time I have mother problems since my mother was emotionally absent after my dad left, which makes me want to care for people. 🫂

Hope our have a good day or night and Drink enough!<3

Hi! Thank you for being so conscious of me and im so flattered you liked my last matchup enough to ask for one yourself but i love people telling me about themselves so your ask was a happy suprise and really made my day! I didnt expect to get that much attention but hey! If anyone else wants a matchup from me youre more than welcome to send info in! The more the better! Extra little jazz: if you want to send up info the way you would for a matchup and get hcs for a specific char youve got it! Also, if you want your info priv you can lemme know in your ask and ill tag you or you can go by an anon title(ex: leaf anon/ 🍃 anon)and ill mention ur title in the post, if you do this I wont post ur anonymous ask Like last time we have options in order from less to most compatible imo🔥

4. Jack Howl

Upon first meeting you, jack would claim to not care for you

But the thing is, deep down he doesn’t want your feelings getting hurt at nrc, the boys there can be real mean for no reason

He’s also worried about people taking advantage of your kindness

His words and actions conflict as he insists on walking with you everywhere “to be a man” or so he claims

He’d probably scold you about how you’re never putting yourself first leading to you telling him about your want to help others be their best selves

This would get him thinking, he thought you were weak for “letting people walk all over you” but really it’s just selflessness

He’s into the idea of self betterment so he gives you an enthusiastic speech about how you’re doing good work

After that day he sees you in a new light, the definitions of resilience and strength to him have taken on new meaning

He’s always looking to improve, he’d take your advice to heart and trusts you most with his emotional problems

Hes gotta open up to somebody, the tough guy act can’t be a forever thing, you’re clearly the best person for the job

Hes pretty mature so he won’t say anything mean to you even as a joke

He wont let others do that to you either, you wont have to tell him if something bothers you, hes protective so more times than not he’ll defend you

Hes still too macho to let you know just how much he cares but it slips out in his actions

When he can see your upset(Ace was probably mean to you) he’ll insist on walking you back to your dorm after in other words, telling ace to shut up

Hell softly squeeze your hand on the way back and make a comment about what happened earlier off handedly

Say ace was bein birtchy ab the way you dress, before leaving you to enter ramshackle he’d say “I think pink is nice for you” while awkwardly looking away

Jack wouldn’t know how to respond in the moment of receiving affections while you’re taking care of him but his tail will wag so you’ll know he’s enjoying it and he definitely wont protest.

Jack would care for you too in the more traditional masculine way of walking you to class and escorting you here and there

He’d show you the affection you desire but be verbally round aboit with it.

Holding out his jacket to you, he’d insist you take it, not in a very romantic way.. but still, he’s so easy to read you can tell how shy he was

3.Trey Clover

Trey would love your look!!

You would remind him of a cake

In fact, hed make a cake to match you as a suprise

Most likely as a gift for helping out ace and deuce despots what a pain they can be

He really appreciates how kind you can be and your willingness to help others

It really takes a load off his shoulders with the first years coming to you every now and then, he knows how much work they can be so a cake is the least he can do

Knowing your living situation in ramshackle and with Crowley’s LIMITED allowance hed take care of you subtly

Inviting you to join heartslabyul for tea and having you over to help with schoolwork

Hes be more forthright from time to time making you lunch and bringing you food

During tea times and unbirthday parties hed always invite you to sit next to him

He’d use that time to talk to you about how you’re doing, he notices how you’re always caring for others he needs to make sure you’re being looked after as well

During this time you might get into infodumping

He finds the way you get cute and would ask questions just to see you passionate

If you cook for him he’d love it! In fact, upon telling him that you cook he’d start inviting you over to help him out or offer to come help you out(he knows you’ve got enough in your plate) as an excuse to have some alone time together

Hes Great at comforting people so if something someone says hurts you you’ll have him to lean on

That being said he’s also an upperclassman and well respected

If he catches you hurt by what someone says he’ll wrap his arm around your waist to reassure you and ask the person what’s wrong and how he can resolve the issue

Trey gives dad jokes vibes he’d find your jokes endearing

From time to time hed I’m sure he’d even genuinely find them funny

Trey isnt used to being cared for the way you take care of him

Hes usually on the giving end but hardly ever the receiving, its special to him and he remembers each moment and is truly great full for it

Hed return the favor and care for you more, hes a good boyfriend so he’s always making sure to give what he gets

He loves when you help him take a break, the way you encourage him to take care of himself as well as remind him of how he matters reminds him of how lucky he was to have landed someone so caring

2. Rook Hunt

BEAUTÉ 100 POINTS

He finds you so cute! Your beauty is so different from Vil’s or Neige’s

You’re like a lone tulip adorned with dew in the morning shining brighter than the rest of the dull leaves

Hes Tell you that in more words and write you poems, be ready to receive many odes to your beauty

He’d love to hear you sing you have his full attention

In fact hed write poems and sonnets for you to read too

Your singing is so lovely, you must have a beautiful voice! He’d listen to you talk for HOURS just listening to your voice and taking in how beautiful you are while you speak

He loves the your stop and smell the roses attitude, he finds that it adds to your beauty

Your beautiful way of thinking adds to the depth of your beauty

Hell have fun looking within your kind spirit and discovering new beautiful things about you

He loves your ability to cook, he’d love to have you pack him something while he goes out hunting

Rook is a very passionate man and very knowledgable, you’d both end up info dumping on each other too, you’d say a lot of random stuff to each other that and neither of you would even be phased

The hopeless romantic part of you will definitely love being with rook

He’s writing you love letters, giving you flowers. His confession was likely intimate and private but also grand, a beauty for your eyes only

Rook also has a keen eye for beauty. He’d take you to see his favorite sights and sing to you of the beauty before him

He’d also take you hunting!

He understands if you’re not too keen on the actual hunting part. You can both hunt beauty with your eyes

Rook is good natured at heart though it’s hard to see with what he says

When he speaks it may come off as an insult but truly he just sees the beauty in your flaws and can’t help but comment on it

I Hope his positive tone comes through but hell definitely notice if it hurts you

“Mon amour! I meant it in the highest complements! You’re beauty but transgresses perfection and seeps into the cracks filling your beautiful form! Mais je suis désolé ma chérie.. I will refrain if it is what will make you smile most.”

Room would love to help you with your skin care routine! I know that sounds weird.. kinda because it is?

If you’d let him.. he’d wash your face for you, apply serum essence, your entire routine

He’s beaming the whole time like a giddy child but he’s also treating you delicately like he’s washing a porcelain doll.

He’s very Open to receiving affection and having you care for him. You wouldn’t have to question whether or not he appreciates it, it’s written all over him! .. and he’ll tell you how thankful he is

Room would follow you around like he worships the ground you walk on. You just keep on surprising him with the depth of your beauty, he can’t get enough!

1. Jade Leech

Princess and her capable butler vibes❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Jade would keep an eye on you out of pure curiosity at first.

You’d seldom find someone so willing to help others out of the goodness of their hearts like you would, especially at NRC

He follows you around finding your “obliviousness” entertaining. The way you cant See the danger you’re clearly putting yourself in

With all the aggressive students things can get ugly but before any of that would have happened, Jade would be stepping in to make sure things didn’t escalate (after he’s had his fill on entertainment)

You would thank him for his help and he’d inquire about your helping and positive attitude

“You do know that they’d just trying to take advantage of you right? Dont you? Why do you insist on helping them?”

After telling him about trying to bring out the best in others and only wanting to help them love themselves, Jade is even more dumbfounded

He finds it cute, from your character to your cute clothes, you truly are unique…

With Jade around people would know better than to hurt your feelings and if they were dumb enough to try to intentionally… well, you wouldn’t see it but Jade would handle it

Jade would love your singing and would love for you to sing for him on your dates

Are you an outdoorsy person? Because for dates he’d bring you out on hikes to show you all the beauty, from the scenery and landscape to the smallest dainty flowers

You wouldn’t have to worry about packing or holding your own bag Jade would hold it for you. Worried you might fall? Hell catch you don’t even worry there’s no way you’d even get a scratch when you’re with him.

While on your hike you might point out some things you like, flowers, trees anything really.

Hed make mental note of it and make a terrarium for you with what you found beautiful together

Hed decorate the outside too to make sure it was up to your standards. Pearls, lace, pink bows, it so cute!

Jade would dote on you too, not too much in gifts, you get them here and there but Jade is definitely a quality time/acts of service guy.

He’d sit down and just listen to you talk, talk about whatever! Info dumping, your day, especially your day, he wants to know where you are

You do so much for people, helping them build their self love but who’s doing that for you? Jade will.

He’d constantly tell you about how nice you look and what a nice thing you did, making sure to never overlook your achievements and congratulate you on each one.

He’d make you tea or some water to make sure you’re hydrated and something to eat while you talk to make sure you have enough energy

Then it’ll just be the two of you, talking and showing how much you love each other as well as making sure you both love yourselves

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland matchup #twst matchup #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #Jade x reader #jack howl #jack howl x reader #jack x reader #Trey x reader #trey clover x reader #Trey clover #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #rook x reader

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ahundredtimesover · 4 months

Note

I’M DONEEEEEE!!!!!! god how i love your stories mimi 🫂

i don’t really know how to organize my thoughts since i have to talk about 5 chapters, but i’ll try!!!! first i’ll show you some quotes that left me thinking while i was reading and i annotated them ¿? kinda and i expressed how i felt about them and then i’ll send another ask to give you my messy thoughts at the end because i’ll be way too long if not (hope you don’t hate this my mind is hard place to put order in lmaooooo just ignore one ask if you’d like hehe 🤭 )

“It’s comfortable being alone; there’s no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt”

“You give either just your heart or your body and you’re always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you don’t want to share, that you don’t want to expose to them; there’s a kind of hurt that you don’t want to experience”

this hurts me in such a deep level because i know that is going to be so hard for them to accept the love they (will eventually) have for each other

She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; she’ll give it if you can’t give it to yourself. please i’m crying i’m not even kidding i’m a sucker for healthy friendships especially between girls it's so beautiful

JIMIN IS IN LOVE WITH OC OMG AND I WAS BEING TEAM YOONGI OVER HERE (still am actually jungkook wake up!) -this is not a quote but simply what i felt in the moment

“He’s noticed that just this past week - when you’re around, he listens; when you’re close to him, he breathes. Ironic, really, considering that every time you close the distance - when you fix his tie or look at his screen over his shoulder or help him retrieve portfolios - he remains still, his heart stopping and his throat drying up, afraid to take in your scent or to know just how fast his pulse would race or what words he’d say that he won’t be able to contain” he’s so gone for her omfg mimi you and you talent to make your mmc insanely in love with the oc you make it better and better each time please!!!!!! this is insane i swear what do you mean when you’re close to her you can breathe but at the same time you can’t because you’re too crazy about her!!!!!!! SHUT UP

“It doesn’t take away from the moments you’ve shared where it seems like the world stops for a bit as you hold each other’s gazes for the shortest of seconds. (...) It leaves you still for the briefest of moments, unguarded and a little bare, as he seems to tell you something with just a look and you just don’t know what it is.” >>>>>> i don’t know why this specific part made me lose my mind a little like maybe I'm overreacting but the mere possibility that their eyes are speaking with each other while they’re still clueless about their connection just makes me giddy!!!! soulmates shit if you ask me…. (its the hopeless romantic in me)

“You don’t need to do this for me, Mr. Cho,” he states. “I appreciate it, but I’d prefer if you don’t do it again.” i hate that he closes off everytime oc is soft because oc is soft pretty much all the time so he’s an asshole way to often!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! make it stop mimi please

“But maybe you also just haven’t felt the kind of all-consuming desire for someone who would be worth it, one you’d want so much that you’d willingly face the fear of paralyzing heartbreak just to be with them” im so curious how are u going to make them fall in love LOVE how are you going to make jungkook became THAT person for oc !!!!?????

“There’s a softness on his face as he lingers before he enters. A small smile forms, and it’s what you see until you fall asleep that night. It’s the same one that’s oddly been giving you comfort lately”

“It lets you know that he knows. And it’s the reason why you sleep soundly that night and why for the first time since you’ve met him, you can’t wait to see him again.”

MY god she’s falling too!!!!!!! this is it!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me Ro, I can’t possibly ignore either one of these asks bc hello 😭😭😭 you’re an absolute sweetheart and an angel and this makes me so happy. 😭😭😭

One thing I’ll point out is this - I know that it’s going to be so hard for them to accept the love they (will eventually) have for each other - YES. Everything’s building up to how they’re going to come into terms with their own feelings considering their past experiences, their own fears, and their own desires. This ties to your question of how will JK be that person for OC. She’s extremely guarded and has a lot of baggage as well. Ch8 will touch on how her past relationships have made her be the way she is and what she things of herself and what she could give. And so we ask again - how does that play into their relationship moving forward?

Yes to female friendships! I have amazing ones so this is something I’ll always write about! And is this another Jimin callout?? 🤭🤭

Also, I wanted so much to describe how they have this way of communicating with their gazes like, they have so much they can’t express but there’s always this hope that their eyes can say what they want but can’t. And that adds to the tension. Bc yes, I love writing MMCs being so whipped for the FMC bc we need those! Yes they could be jerks sometimes when they detach themselves and can’t be mature enough to face their feelings but the falling in love bit is so fun to write!!

ILYSM THANK U FOR THIS 🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts

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mccnstruck · 9 months

Text

kazuha x gn!reader

hurt/comfort, implied mention of dy!ng, implied depression??, vent post

a/n: its been a long week (its only wednesday) i literally could not be bothered to format or proofread this im so tired. sorry to anyone whos reading this bullshit i wrote.

when kazuha walked into your room, he would've expected you to be bopping your head to music or quickly writing down notes. he would've expected you to be scrambling over your notes for the quiz or test next day. he knew your schedule more than you sometimes.

so when he walked in, he didn't expect the room to feel so... cold. the room was surprisingly warm and cosy, with your lamp on and your notes scattered. but...

he watched you with observant eyes, as you stared at the screen with dull ones. your hands were besides you, not writing anything, not drumming to the beat, just... by your side.

your appearance was unkempt. you turned to him and kazuha knew theres was something wrong when you couldn't even fake a smile. you just stared at him, like how you stared at your computer. dull. questioning.

tired.

"dear, what's wrong?"

"just a bit tired. need anything, kazuha?"

you didn't even call him by a nickname, not even the silly ones. your words felt cold, distant from him.

"i need you to tell me what took the smile off my lovely's face." he pouted.

you pat the bed next to you, and he took it as an invitation to sit next to you as you sat on your desk chair.

silence. kazuha wanted to ask again, but he knew it would be better if you were to start talking rather than him prompting you.

silence for a few minutes.

"do you know what to do when there isn't anything to live for?"

kazuha's eyes widen. he's never been asked this question, although he has certainly felt like it before.

"why do you ask?"

"i don't know."

silence.

kazuha lifted himself from the bed and slowly let his fingers intertwine with yours, asking for permission to hug you, you stand up and wrap your arms around him, and he does the same.

and soon enough, he feels tears damp his shirt. he tries to lift your head to see you, but you shake your head in refusal. you feel his lips slowly kiss the top of your head, and he pulls you onto the bed, wrapping the blanket around both of you.

a hoarse voice whispered into his skin, and your words almost left tears in kazuha's eyes.

"i'm tired. i have so much work yet i can't even focus on anything. the people in my class are so much smarter than me and it's my fault for not catching up. i can't even be known for being nice. i cant control my emotions and my words and my actions look completely different to people and then people think im mean and they stop being friends with me. i dont even know how you stay with me. you deserve someone better. actually, every one i know deserves so much better, but i pull everyone down. i can't, kazuha, i literally am hopeless kazuha. i don't know why you or anyone put up with me."

kazuha's frown deepened, and he felt a sting in his eyes.

you lifted your head to see kazuha, who was usually composed of his emotions, fully crying in front of you.

somehow, it made you want to cry more.

kazuha, with continous tears running down his face, cupped your cheek with a softness not even the blankets around you could hold.

"do you....actually feel that way, dove?"

you started to feel guilt, yet you still nodded.

he pulled your head back into his shoulder and his arms wrapped around your back, fearful that if he didn't hold you tight enough that he would lose you. his body shook with his tears, and you realize that you have underestimated kazuha's love for you.

"dove, im so sorry."

"kazuha, it's not your-"

"i know. yet... [name]... please get the thought that you don't deserve anyone out of your head..."

"i'm sorry."

he kissed the top of your head, his body shaking with every tear.

within a few minutes, you fell asleep in his arms, your tears drying up on your face. noticing this, kazuha slowly untangled his arms around yours.

kazuha went around your room and got it to its best state. after all, you deserved at least this much for him.

he saved your files and browser, frowning at the tab that searched up "how to get rid of migraines". he put every paper into its respective folder and closed up your bag.

usually you would get up at his presence being gone, but when he looked at you, you were dead asleep.

kazuha looked at you, his heart felt like it hurt. you were going through so much. why didn’t you tell him?

he placed one last kiss to your cheek and whispered into your skin.

"i'll make sure you'll never have to feel like this ever again."

mccnstruck

#kazuha x reader #kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #genshin kazuha #kaedehara kazuha x reader #[ the lost library ]

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rattlingheart · 5 months

Text

i finally decided to sit down and write out how i've been feeling.

Am I selfish? Am I jealous? Am I a bad person to the people I care about? Are they bad to me? I don’t understand why it’s so wrong of me to have wants. All i want is someone for myself. I want someone who would do anything for me at any time. I want to be cared for, i want to be loved and i want to be wanted and needed. Why is that so bad? I want my own person. Everyone else has their own so why cant i have one too? Every time i try to explain it i end up looking like the bad guy. Maybe my actions arent great and maybe i feel things too strong but none of that would matter if i had someone who understood. Nobody ive ever talked to knows what im going through because everyone at one point or another has had their person. They dont know what its like to think you have someone and then lose them to someone else, over and over and over again. At this point it just feels hopeless and im starting to feel like an idiot for ever thinking it could happen. I know it sounds conceited to think im the only person to ever feel this way but thats just how it feels. I want to be wanted so bad it hurts. Every day i spend alone makes me feel worse and worse. I dont know how much i can take. I want someone i can call and theyll answer right away, happy to hear me and ill be happy to hear them. I want to be able to have hours of conversation while also being comfortable with hours of silence. I want someone to think of me in a romantic way. To want to take me on dates and bring me flowers and show me how much they love me. I want to be so yearned for that it makes their stomach hurt. I want someone to be sad when they cant see me and angry when i talk to someone else. I want someone to put my picture in their wallet, or put a photo of us on their lockscreen. To be the first thing on someones mind when they wake up and the last thing before they fall asleep. In my eighteen years of life ive never come close. People say everyone has their time and everyone has their person, and i want to believe that so bad. I wish i could trick myself into being okay by myself and to just accept that my time wil come and that someone will love me but i just cant. Do you know how pathetic that feels? To know you have the potential to love and be loved but to never feel it? To just be fooled over and over to the point of not knowing what it feels like to have a crush anymore, not knowing if they actually want to get to know me or if they just need enough of my interests to get into my bed. I would love for someone to want to know me.

I want someone to know everything about me oh my god. I want to tell them everything about me and they tell me everything about them. I want to know someones deepest secrets and for them to know mine. I want to not be judged for the way i act, think, and feel. I promise i wont judge you if you dont judge me. I just cant understand why this is too much to ask. I want someone to meet my parents and my friends. I want to be a part of someone else's family and theyre a part of mine. I want to be thought of when holidays come around, and for them to know my birthday. I want them to ask if im coming over for dinner or if youre coming to mine. I want to be seen as a pair, if one of us is there then so is the other. It doesnt have to last forever, im not asking for a marriage partner, just a taste. I just want to dip my toes into the pool of love, i dont have to swim in it. Eventually i want to meet someone that just pulls me in with them and drowns me. I want to be smothered with love until it makes me sick. It would feel so much better than being alone. I cant even imagine how it would feel to be introduced as a girlfriend. For someone to show their family and friends my picture and to be excited about it. I hate begging for things but please. Its all ive ever wanted and yet its making me into a monster. I dont feel like myself anymore, i feel like a shell. It feels like my heart is just rattling around in my body making noise for someone to hear her. The butterfly in my stomach is dying, she hasn't fluttered in so long. I want her to be happy again, for me to just think of someone and she does somersaults around my stomach. I want to be nervous to go on a first date, maybe even a second or a third. I want to have a kiss at the end of the date like how it happens in the movies. I want someone to bring me home and want to see me again. I want to be a girlfriend, i cant wait until the day someone asks me. I think ill die right there in that moment. I want to say i love you. I want someone to say they love me every time they see me, every time they leave my presence and every time they enter it. I want people to know that im loved, and to know that i love the person loving me. I want to love someone so hard that just the thought of not having them in my life makes me sick. I want it to make me cry and i want them to comfort me and say it will never happen. I want them to lie to me. So that when the day eventually comes and they tell me they no longer love me I can have faith that ill find someone else to love me. I want to have a breakup that hurts me so bad i cant leave my bed and i stop talking to people for weeks. I want to lay in my bed and rot away just reminiscing over the way they loved me for so long. I want to know the feeling of having my heart ripped out of my chest and taken from me. I want to know the feeling of growing a new heart for someone else. And for that person to nurse me back to health, back to my original self. I know its strange to want heart break but as someone whos never experienced it, i want to know what its like. I want to experience every aspect of a relationship. I want to fight and argue. I want to apologize and make amends because we both know it isnt worth it to be mad at each other. I want someone to tell me that theyre sorry, and that theyll never yell at me again. I want someone to run their fingers through my hair as i lay my head in their lap. I want someone to hold me, hold my hand, hold my body, hold my heart. I want to put my legs on someones lap and for them to rub my legs just to know theyre there. I want to have someone to grab in a crowded room, to hold my hand so i dont get lost.

I want someone on the same level as me and i pray they never leave me behind. I just want to be loved and cared for the same as everyone else in my life. I want to feel like an equal to the people around me and not like an alien. Ive spent years building myself up for other people to notice me. Ive been noticed, but no one has cared enough to stay. It makes me feel so awful. Ive learned to keep things to myself, to not overshare. I try to go after what i want but it always ends badly, i always end up looking desperate. People use desperate in a bad way but i cant help but think, is that not what i am? I am desperate. I am so unbelievably desperate for someone to want me. I cant sit with my own thoughts or it starts to make me physically and mentally ill. I need someone to share them with. I need someone to talk to. I need somebody to be there for me. I need my own person. Someone i dont have to share and someone who will always be there when i need them. Someone who will know i need them before i even realize it. I think if i had someone to pour my thoughts onto and pour all of the love inside of me, id be doing a lot better. Im just scared that what if i find my person but they dont want me in my current state? What if im too much to handle and too much to take care of. I guess theyre not my person then. When i finally do find my person, someone just for me, they will love me for who i am, what i am, and they will see the good in me. Is that too much to ask?

#love #long reads #relationship #vent

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ribbonpinky-art · 11 months

Text

feeling melancholic and hopeless again. so im gonna just write out my emotions and none of it correlating. self pity post galore

im thinking about things. life is rough. so stressful. my mental illness is worsening by the day. lots of stuff happens behind the scenes that i choose to not talk about

and what im thinking about now, is that who was once one of my absolute comforts (junko).. im thinking abt that adorable little fumo plush of her i ordered several months ago is just sitting on top of my other plushies.. that i wasn't even excited to have her when she first arrived.

i didn't care.

and that hurt, knowing i didn’t, remembering how much she once meant to me.

same with my Chang’e. i want nothing to do with either of them now. they no longer bring me an ounce of comfort, only dread and remnants of a self indulgent story of kindness that once lifted me up. it all died. feels too idealistic. i feel like im too much of an outcast to let this story exist outside my private circles. i dont even want it anymore, or if i want to ever again

i think as of lately, focusing on oc’s (including ones i havent spoken of yet) has been better for my state of mind

doesnt help that im kiiinda only appreciated for my Junko works!!!! awesome!! i dont want to draw her anymore !!! fml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! other people are better at drawing her than me anyway, ya wont miss me. lemme focus on my evil lady oc instead...

maybe im being melodramatic, and i do not care. perhaps in a few months i will be enamored with them again? idk. idc either

i feel more disconnected than ever to fandom, when i was seldom a part of any of it in the first place. im that person that exists on the outskirts, not really part of their community. im disconnected to people. i cant make connections with anyone, but i never could .. ok . i could, with a couple folks here and there. im grateful they want me around (not counting my partner of course, theyre the best thing thats ever happened to me. im not just lucky, im fortunate af we met at all)

im aware of my own issues- im autistic, im unmedicated when i probably need meds to regulate my emotions, i live in a toxic family. im triggered terribly easily, and when im hurt, it *hurts*.

i fear that, because of my strange way of speaking and how a lot of my conversations are stilted, and what i perceive as unusual behavior-- i fear i make other people creeped out/uncomfortable. irl or otherwise. like, maybe ppl will be friendly to me at first, but after a year and i dont say much anything and im just this creepy, quiet weirdo to them now. and thats so silly. whats creepy about me?? im a pint size thing who cant even look anyone in the eye very well. is that creepy?? ok, i struggle to talk sometimes, i might be uninterested in conversation but i dont want to be disliked for it-- idk ((ok i have “Creep” by Radiohead set in my mind because of my mental state, and its kinda funny to me for some reason)

i genuinely feel like i lack intelligence. i suck at thinking. i suck at thinking of words, remembering things, and the tiny mistakes i do make are SO small that it should be impossible to make the mistake in the first place. was i always like this? i feel like i used to be smarter , lol

i am quite literally, a complete failure in my family. i cant stress the truth in that enough. even my grandmother is disappointed in me and only wants to see a text message from me saying i got a worthy job in my field. that only thing that matters to anyone, my one and only point of interest in everyone i speak to in my life even outside my family, is that i dont have a real job. thats it. everyone is waiting for me to be.. someone.

because im no one.

but none of them have been a particularly positive influence in my life, seeing as im stuck here.

i genuinely feel disgusting for existing. my body feels wrong to be in when i am visible to any human being. perhaps even to any animal and bug, too. i dont want to be looked at, to be remembered by anyone who wont understand me

nothing is changing!!!!! and when it is, its worse than before!! why cant i just be brave and GO

not all of this reflects reality. i beat myself up a lot. mirrin knows it. i know it.

it hurts

#ribbonvent #tw i talk somewhat ableist towards myself. sorry #all in all... im just venting. take my particuarly heavy words with a grain of salt #i have a lot on my mind. this is only a portion of what stresses me #mirrin is helping me ground.. i love u mirrin

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milkychaiinstantnoodles · 1 year

Text

back after a long time.

24/4/2023 Im writing here because I feel silly writing in a diary where im explaining things when its only for me, no one will look at this most likely but its okay. I want to not be here so badly, Im simply suffering and enduring each day, I cry for hours each night sometimes all night and I even cry during the day if Im alone, its gotten so bad Im forcing myself to leave my flat everyday because my theory is that if Im in public Ill stop crying. That doesn't even work and I'll still cry in public and its so embarrassing. The love of my life broke up with me and had a girlfriend right after who I think he broke up with me to be with. he was my comfort person and my best friend. I love him so much but after what happened I SHOULDNT. I thought we were going to get married and be together forever. It sounds so silly but my feelings were and still are insanely deep. He got with someone else and was lying to me about it so I was trying to get back with him thinking that it was just a blip in the relationship rather than him having a whole other girlfriend. He lied and said that he just didnt want to be with anyone else and that he just wasn't ready even tho we were together for two years before this. He had pictures in his phone from their dates and their messages were very clear, he was also messaging many other girls and had girls nudes in his phone. It's so painful to say what I saw, I can't do it. My whole world feels so crushed because I came to this city to be closer to him and now Im stuck here all alone. I only have one friend here and even tho she is great I dont find the comfort that I need from her even tho she tries to help. She's dealing with her own mental issues and I feel like I only add fuel to them. He said that he is still here for me but what he did, the lying, betrayal and manipulation, is too much and I know that I need to cut off contact with him, at the same time he is the only person who has given me comfort and I feel like I emotionally depend on him. This push and pull in my mind is an absolute battle its killing me inside and I dont want this to continue. I feel extremely hopeless and suicidal. I dont look forward to my future and I dont have anything set up for it either. Im doing terribly in uni and I am in extreme debt for life because of it. I may fail and will still have to pay my debts. I want to die . It's so lonely here I dont feel a genuine connection with anyone here. My family are far away and we can have good moments but generally they look down on the decisions ive made and make it clear to me that im not making good choices which s horrible whether they're right or not. I already peeled failed by the people around me otherwise I wouldn't be fucking writing on my old tumblr blog. Im feeling so much despair right now that I feel like getting into contact with my extremely toxic old friends who do not care about me but I feel so unsupported that it's crazy. Im not indepemdent and all and I can't get anything I need to do done. I have so much uni and house work to do asap but I can't bring myself to do anything. Im dealing with the consequences of this depression im in right now and just like a spiral its making everything worse. Ive never felt so terrible in my life. I dont even think Im mentally ill, Ive dealt with a bad trauma and this is the grief. Im feeling so much grief right now because the person I loved the most doesn't exist. It was all a lie.He didnt exist because he wasn't who I thought he was. I have to grieve and get over someone who actively and consciously decided to lie and hurt me, its honestly worse than if he died, If he died I would be sad but it wouldn't be because of my own ugliness and inadequacey. Him leaving me was a result of him deeming me not to be good enough so he went and got with someone better. He called her his dream girl and he had never said that to me once. It stung so badly to read. My self esteem is non existent and ive never felt so shit about myself before. Im desperate and looking for something to make me feel better but nothing is working. Im so fucking ugly and I dont look like a single girl he was looking at and lusting over and messaging. I dont look like a single one of them. It hurts so much when I also realise he was most likely cheating too. All the while he was telling me he loved me and I fucking believed it. Ive lost my appetite. I cannot sleep properly or at a normal time , my social life is struggling and it sounds dramatic but this has fucked up my whole life, because I created my life around someone who wouldn't do the same for me and only wanted me around when they were lonely or it set suited them. im naturally a caring and empathetic person and I never put myself first. I will always be like that though and I dont even want that to change, im the same as my mother this is how she taught me to be. Ive been warned before that Im too nice but I dont care, I dont want to become cold and selfish, It wouldn't be me. I just have to accept that I was treated so badly and simply move on like noting happened?

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daedalusdavinci · 2 years

Note

24. with jasico

this was fucking targeted. anon how could you. god let me. dig into my repressed memories of toa and see what i can pull out of my ass like i dont spend my every waking moment obsessed with ghosts. im about to take so many fucking liberties with canon its ridiculous

edit: apparently this is one of those prompts i get carried away with. im sorry for my undying love for leo but im also not. ill stop pushing my agendas when i die. thanks for the ask!

24. Returned from the dead kiss

There were few people who could claim to know the dead better than Nico. He'd spent disturbingly large portions of his life around people that should have been dead decades ago, but continued anyway, out of time and lost, around vengeful ghosts who refused to rest, around those who had passed on, around those who were unable to die and spent ages in and out of hell, and occasionally- just occasionally- those who managed to come back. He knew every flavor of life and unlife because he'd survived on it, never quite able to make himself comfortable at the warmest end of that spectrum.

He'd gotten close, once. When he had a handful of friends to rely on, each with their own ghosts, and willing to understand his own, he'd thought maybe he could manage his own place in the sun. There was Will, who'd offered a stubbornly bright connection to a home he'd never known how to claim. There was Reyna, who seemed to understand how lost and unwanted he felt, and offered a friendship without complication, and without judgement. There was his sister- not the sister he'd lost, but one he'd found, who loved him as easily as breathing. And then there was Jason, who was just... there, every single time he needed him, trying even when he had no reason to.

But Camp Half-Blood inevitably began to grate again, and despite Will's reassurances, he could only stay for so long. His position in between the camps was complicated, and often disliked, now that everyone understood it, and when Reyna started talking about joining the Hunters of Artemis, he just... couldn't go back to New Rome. Hazel had a life to figure out, now that she understood it all, and while he loved her dearly, he couldn't cling to her for everything. So there was Jason. Until, suddenly, there wasn't.

Nico was not a stranger to people he loved dying. In the past, he had fought it and gotten nowhere. But somewhere in between Piper's crying and Leo's soft, broken laughter late at night, between Reyna leaving with Artemis as his sister had so long ago, and Percy trying to reach out for the first time in ages, like all of the sudden he cared- maybe he just needed something to do.

It was Leo's fault, really. "I'll just keep moving," he'd said, with that heartbreaking, helpless kind of shrug. He'd smiled, but his eyes had been like shattered glass. "What else can you do, right? He's not coming back. I wasn't there, and that's that. And it never hurts as much when I've got a project to focus on, y'know?"

It was a hopeless endeavor. But Nico had brought one person back before, even if it wasn't the person he meant to. Who else could say that? Maybe... just maybe, he could do it again.

What Nico saw, on that journey, he'd never tell anyone. He broke his bones against the unyielding forces of the Underworld and used them like hammers and chisels, always digging deeper, always pushing further. It was no easy task to learn things about the Underworld that mortal minds had never been meant to comprehend, but it wasn't the first time he had, and so he felt like he could do it again. His father was used to him lurking around in the dark, going places no one else would have been allowed to, and his friends were equally used to him coming and going without explanation.

Hazel had her suspicions, he thought. She didn't know the Underworld as well as him, but she knew it enough to know where he'd been when he showed up on her doorstep smelling like earth, his skin pale and sallow like his skeleton was beginning to show through. He didn't tell her much, and she didn't ask much, but she was always there when he came back with something warm and spicy to chase the chill out.

If he was honest with himself, he'd been avoiding Piper since Jason died. But Leo... Something about him was easier to approach. Maybe it was because like Nico, he shouldered it on his own, and like Nico, he always seemed to exist just on the outskirts of their friendgroup, either by nature or by self-fulfilling prophecy. He understood what it was like to live without Jason, to miss him like an ache, and without meaning to, Nico had grown to find comfort in that. There was a kind of camaraderie in misery he could share with Leo that he couldn't with Hazel, where Leo would laugh at things that would surely make Hazel cry. It was easier to let Leo see the things that made him broken, because Leo didn't worry. He just understood.

He'd thought Leo didn't know. He'd never told him. Then, after one of those late nights where Nico had stumbled in with wounds he didn't know how to bandage on his own, they'd stayed up for hours while Leo baked a kind of cookie that was chocolate and spicy and burned the whole way down, because Leo always needed something to do with his hands, and somehow the burn of spice had turned into Nico's best approximation of home, grounding him when nothing else could. They'd eaten them in the quiet of the kitchen, pulling them off the pan when they were still so warm that they fell apart in Nico's fingers, gooey and melt-in-your-mouth perfect. Leo had had a furrow in his brow that Nico didn't know how to comment on, and Nico had waited it out silently, knowing that when Leo was ready to, he would speak.

In the soft light of the kitchen, at four in the morning, Leo had said, so softly that Nico almost didn't hear it, "You know I miss him too. But don't give me someone else to miss, Neeks."

It was easy to forget, sometimes, how smart Leo really was.

Nico knew the dead better than anyone. He knew the things they left behind too.

It took him one year to find Jason. The things he did in that year were things no one else would ever know, because the only person he might have told had died one year ago.

His hair had gotten so long he needed to tie it back, strands slipping from his ponytail to hang in his eyes so that he left streaks of dirt on his forehead trying to push it out again. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he was almost there. At long, long last, he was almost there.

Jason's eyes weren't as bright as they'd once been. The color had dulled, just edging on grey instead of the sky blue he remembered. There was something wrong about the way his face moved, like he couldn't quite remember what he was supposed to do with it. His teeth seemed sharper, inhuman, dangerous. Something about his body seemed more hulking, but at the same time insubstantial, like if Nico pressed his fingers into it it would dissipate.

But Jason's hands were so warm.

"Nico?" he asked, soft with wonder. There was something off about his voice, like it didn't quite register right to the ears, but it was him. The way he reached for Nico's face, his thumbs so fucking gentle as they brushed over his cheeks- the way he frowned, that adorable little furrow between his brows. "Your hair is so long."

Relief washed through Nico and ached. The sound that clawed its way from his throat was raw emotion and nothing else, half laugh, half sob. He clung to one of Jason's wrists, reaching with the other hand to touch Jason's face, to trace the curve of his brow, the scar on his lip. "You're back."

"I'm sorry I left." The corner of Jason's mouth twitched upward, sheepish and shy and warm, just the way Nico remembered it. He brushed tears from Nico's cheek, wrapping one arm around him to pull him closer.

Jason was so warm, solid and alive, and Nico couldn't help but grin through his tears, cupping the back of his head and pulling him in and down.

It was a bad kiss. They were both in desperate need of a shower, and it was hard to kiss Jason through a smile, but Jason squeezed him closer and Nico didn't even care. He kissed Jason the way he'd wanted to all year, channeling every bit of desperation and heartbreak and relief he had into it.

When he pulled back, Jason followed him, pressing their foreheads together and holding him tight, reassuring and sturdy in that way that chased out all Nico's fears every time. "You have so much to catch me up on."

Nico laughed, his hands squeezing Jason's biceps, following his arms to his shoulders, his back, his collar, taking reassurance in the fact that he was here. He was alive. He couldn't touch him enough. He couldn't kiss him enough. "I will. I promise, I will," he said, kissing the corner of Jason's mouth. "We have all the time in the world."

#jasico #jason grace #nico di angelo #leo valdez #fics that make it obvious valdangelo was my favorite ship for years #i have a lot of thoughts about those three and their friendships and also nico and his relationship to death and th ehunters and the under #world #asks #tumblr drabbles #my fics

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chans-room · 5 months

Note

Assign an idol to the song and explain why

A. DK

B. Key

C. Jeonghan

D. Changbin

E. Mingi

Killing in the Name

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison

Brain Stew

Come Out & Play

Hump de Bump

And yes, I am still waiting to hear about YOUR Saltburn au

I’m sorry this took SO long Luce 🫡 I meant to just pair songs and people and explain why but then bc I am ✨mentally ill✨ I started brain fic-ing (can you tell I came from the era of song fics?)

also the saltburn au is coming I’ve just been possessed by demons and I’m writing too much now

Killing in the Name - Jeonghan

Okay so I will admit im not the most adept at svt but im getting there!! And Jeonghan has always given me Lowkey anarchist vibes + social non-conformity in a way. But as for the fic concept: sorta apocalypse au? where you happen to meet the young revolutionary Jeonghan and fall in love with him while overthrowing the corrupt government. You both struggle to stay alive and stay together while on the run and doing your most to help create real change in the world. Unfortunately, you both die for the cause but you are venerated like saints by the revolution and your friends rebuild the world in your honor. 🫡 Love that for you.

Brain stew - Mingi

Brain Stew is actually one of my fave Green Day songs, and it unfortunately gives me Mingi vibes. I know he’s no stranger to depression central. So my initial thought was college au where Mingi gets overwhelmed by everything halfway through the semester and kinda ✌🏼 dips ✌🏼 on all his obligations, and his friends, and pretty much everything. He feels really alone and isolated and ends up in some community servers where he’s anonymous, not necessarily talking or trying to reach out but interacting here and there. But he ends up really connecting with someone who he lets in, and they end up encouraging him to take better care of himself, to seek help, and to really start living again. He recovers from his depressive episode and starts to thrive. Really just Mingi centric hurt/comfort vibes ☹️❤️

Come Out and Play - Changbin

Okay this one was kinda hard, but the vibe of the song was very Changbin to me. So it’s giving like opposite sides of basically a mafia war, and Changbin is caught in that cycle of violence. You try to convince him that it doesn’t need to be like this, that there are no real differences between him and this supposed enemies, and to help him see the pointlessness of the violence but he can’t see it until it’s too late. Ambiguous ending that flashes forward to a funeral — is it his or is it yours? No one will ever know. Wow this is suddenly giving R+J lmao

Hump De Bump - DK

I love songs about fucking lol the vibe reminds me of like a 1950s au where high school kids go to the popular makeout spots to fuck and keep getting caught by cops or parents or priests lol and you and him have to carefully evade all those adults in order to fool around in peace. Super light hearted and kinda rebellious and fun, exactly what I think of when I think of DK 🖤

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Me In Prison - Key

Songs about crime and questioning your sexuality while ruminating on the inevitability of death? ✨Key vibes. ✨ The fic would focus on him in prison, navigating the fear and hopelessness while struggling with his attraction to a new friend/fellow inmate and wondering if that means all the crimes he’s committed getting to prison were in vain bc he did them to get his lover back from the dead. But he ends up lighting the prison on fire and sacrificing himself to fill his quota. No one knows if he succeeded in bringing them back or if he was reunited with them in death.

#answered asks #fic concepts #jeonghan svt #key shinee #dk svt #changbin skz #mingi ateez #minttangerines

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ungaroyals · 2 years

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Hi I just wanted talk to you about your fic " Summer of love" and how much it affected me in really strange way. I mean Im usually in love with angst slow burn happy ending type of fiction readers but yours, I can't describe it well enough: it hurt me so bad that left me with tangled pool of emotions : the more I read each chapter the more I felt angry at Wille and the way he wanted to keep having stable simple life but still going after his teenager crush too. I felt frustrated too at how he wanted everything but did nothing to make change or simply move on and forget about it(if possible but I know that's hard with first love!) I felt sad and hopeless at how love can drag one souls and mind to cling to the tiniest (unreal) hope with no control over his life or body! I felt lost and confused, heartbroken and mad at every details that went through your story and I couldn't decipher at first why!yours fic is the first one where I wished for it to be with NO happy ending, for Simon to find love some where far away from Wilhelm's foggy world where he can't find himself or find way out of it.i wished for Simon to move on and find happiness for the rest of his life with no fear of losing it at any second or waking up like it was sweet dream that quickly ended before he even get the to best part of it.

I didn't know why I was( and still) super mad at Wilhelm's character, at how he didn't take risk for his lover, he didn't left his comfort zone and just stayed with empty soul, hoping vainly to build life with someone else he doesn't feel that burning flames with, wanting and choosing to settle down in fake loveless marriage. He didn't make efforts to change, he didn't push through or faced his worst fears and nightmare to reach to the other side where everything true, beautiful and real is there.. But he didn't!

I hated that so much, because I understood that pain so well that futil despair, holding into the less troubling, less desirable. Because I felt that too in way somehow I am there too choosing to live life void of risk and trouble and real love and independence and just existing peacefully or cowardly (if you want see it that way).

You're really really an amazing writer ❤️❤️

Oh my goodness, you've actually made me cry real tears. I'm legit sitting at my computer on a Sunday night with tears in my eyes because of this message. At first, I thought this was going to be a less than pleasant comment based on they way you opened, but I'm so so happy it didn't turn out that way hahah.

This makes me so happy to hear. You have no idea what this means to me. When I started the story there was an active thought in my mind that I didn't want the reader to be on Wilhelm's side. I wanted them to question him and what he was doing. To sympathize with him but also feel for the people he hurt and is currently hurting.

Life is hard and complicated and sometimes 'easier' just feels so so so much better as a short term solution. But doing the hard stuff, making the hard choices, is exactly that, difficult and messy and often end with someone getting hurt. Sadly Wilhelm is learning this too late. And I think seeing where Maddie is in her life and how happy she is, really helps Wilhelm see that. Because she chose the opposite of him. She took the risk, and it paid off, and now he's kicking himself for making the choices he did as a kid.

As for the wishing there was no happy ending, I'm honestly with you there. I've grown to love Marion and much as I have Wilhelm and Simon and I don't want any of them to suffer for Wilhelm's mistakes. But alas, the outline was completed months ago, and the story must go on as it's meant to.

Thank you so much for sending me this. As a person who actually wants to make a career out of being a writer, stuff like this makes my heart sing and my mind happy and motivated. So thank you anon, I adore you. 💜.

#nicest fandom ever #what the heck #you're so nice #sol ask

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