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hollowhearts-and-espresso · 2 months

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lets talk hannibal (but mostly will graham)

so some viewers and enjoyers of the hannibal tv show still think that Will only lost it because of hannibals influence. because hannibal alienated him from others, pushed him to break the wall around his mind, whatever reason, some people think it was only or at least mostly because of hannibal.

that said, heres where those loveable fuckos are wrong. will graham was very early on established to be unstable- he's autistic and an empath so that alone is hard on him, not to mention all the shit hes seen for crime scenes and his own nightmares (also established to have happened long before hannibal or Garret Hobbs ever came into play). so yes, unstable, but still very clearly feeling- he's not a psychopath, not a sociopath, not even criminally crazy or insane, he's just unstable. but unstable is dangerous in his line of work

so lets focus on the empath part for a second. he's able to observe, consider, and get into the minds of the killers- 'he hires Will Graham to catch psychopaths because he can think like them'. and he can, and he said as much- he can think like them, get in their head, figure out their design and every last flaw in it to catch them. will graham may not be a legal psychopath, but he can put his mind into the headspace of one, think and feel and look like one (consider the conversation about the minnesota shrike between jack and will- 'a feeling psychopath'. we establish early that it is unusual, but they can never and will never rule out the possibility of a psychopath or sociopath being driven by love, still feeling things)

so far, just in early episode 1, we've established a few things- the first is that will graham is emotionally and mentally unstable, so deeply that a licensed psychiatrist suggests highly that they just let him be and teach. second thing we've established is that will graham is not a psychopath or sociopath, but he THINKS like one, gets in their heads, understands them. being able to think through someone so deeply that you can basically see through their eyes is hard enough, but even harder if you cant align with their instabilities and etc. and the third thing we've established is that in this show (and irl, but we focus on the show), is that they can and never will rule out the possibility of a psychopath showing and experiencing true feeling.

now lets talk about some MORE that went down in episode one. the 'copycat' kill, with the girl mounted in the field on the antlers. will took one close look at her and realized that no, this isnt garret hobbs, who tucked elice nichols into bed and never wastes any part of the women because he wants to keep them inside, near him, safe- no, this was someone else, and he though this girl was pig and wanted to humiliate her. One fucking look. he had probably already been thinking about the shrike kills and realized, or almost realized, the connection between the shrike having a daughter and the girls he killed, whatever. but he takes one look at this girl, a kill that is very objectively so close to the others it could, in fact, be garret jacob hobbs, and he realizes no, thats not the shrike, this girl was a pig and her killer wanted it known.

and then, later, when he's giving the lecture and jack and hannibal walk in, he says that this kill was the shrikes kills but elevated to art. ART, which he is shown now and later to have such a delicate care for. he finds this kill beautiful and artistic, and this is before he has much of hannibals influence or hannibal even makes hints about alienating will from jack or alana. this is still pre-hannibal will graham, looking at a vicious murder and calling it art.

and hannibal himself never broke will. he broke his trust, at some points, and did everything to get it back and show will he could trust him, he wouldnt hurt him. he loved will so clearly and deeply the entire time, he would never break him. he loved him so deeply that the only thing he ever wanted was for will to be his full, true, no-walls self with hannibal. he would never break will, he just wanted will to be his full self- he pushed will, yes, but never to hurt him or his mind, just pushed him to take the walls down, to stop pushing down the urges that were eating at him because thats what was destroying will, not hannibal.

so in conclusion, will was an unstable phsycotic empath well before hannibal, and hannibal only ever wanted him to stop fighting the urges and take down his walls, he was NOT the reason will snapped and not responsible for dark!Will

#hannibal tv show #hannibal tv series #will graham #nbc hannibal #hannibal lector #hannigram

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lalaluvvs · 2 months

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The beach

cw: angst (sorry i can't help myself !!)

The waves crashed beautifully in front of him. Satoru sat by the rocks along the edge of the beach, taking in the salty air nad exhaling the anxiety he felt all over. Suguru asked him to meet up. He still had trouble catching his breath minutes after running from his home. It was such a beautiful night. He hoped the waves wouldnt judge him the way he was judging himself right now.

So much time passes that it worries him. What if he doesn't show up? What if this is just some sick prank to yank his heart out all over again? What if-

The sand crunches beside him, and his scent is the first thing Satoru can take in. He looks up at the man before him, beautiful as ever. So why did it pain him to look him in the eye? Suguru smiles beautifully, as he always does, because he can't contain his own beauty. Even that smile had a glimpse of pain behind it.

"You came."

"I had no choice." Satoru grumbles, crossing his arms over his knees and resting his head there, like a child on timeout.

"You always have a choice with me." He looks directly at Gojo, hoping to get his attention once more, to look him in the eye and catch that glimmer of admiration. It doesnt come, but he would always try for it.

"No." Gojo paints figures in the sand with his finger. "No, not with you. You know I would do anything for you."

Suguru grunts, looking down at his hands as he goes over the events of the previous week.

Outside, in the street, he embarassed Satoru. The only person he had ever loved with conviction. He knew, to a point, that his ideas were drastic. But he couldn't change the way he felt. Not even for Satoru. Still, he never meant to hurt him.

He chuckles lightly, making Satoru glare at him from the corner of his eye. "Shouldn't we have gone someplace more private?"

Satoru just stares at him, suddenly wishing he had the power to read his mind.

"Ha. So we can kiss and make up?" Satoru pokes.

"Well, no. I'm a wanted man now, aren't I? It wouldn't do good for you to be seen with the likes of me."

Satoru is shocked. He's so... different. Only a week has passed and yet he seems like he's aged decades. The lines under his eyes do little to change that.

"You aren't sleeping."

Suguru laughs, drawing mindless figures in the sand right beside Gojo's, which makes the other man stop to watch.

"I'm a busy man now."

"Oh. Are you?"

Suguru turns on his side to face him. "Don't be bitter. If you came with me we could be the strongest together. Like always."

"There's nothing strong in killing innocent people. You should know that!"

Suguru puts a finger to Satoru's lips, and somehow that seems to work for him. The sea screams back at them, waves thundering loudly in the uncomfortable silence.

"I'm sorry. Let's not... talk about this." He slowly moves his finger back. "This isn't why I called you here."

Satoru considers him for a moment, then locks eyes with him. The fire he holds in them is undeniable now.

"Why else would you call me here?"

"I just..." Suguru looks away, suddenly embarassed. "Needed to see you."

His blatant honesty is nothing new, but the confession stirs something within Satoru's mostly dead heart.

"See me?"

Suguru nods, never losing his eyes. He wants to stay like this forever, admiring the soft glow of his features in the moonlight.

"Why would you want to see me?" Nothing made sense to Satoru now. He was sure Suguru hated him. Now he had to come to the realization that Suguru missed him, and had wanted to see him. How long did he go thinking about him before he called?

Suguru shifts in the sand, staring out at the expanse of open sea and wave-flattened sand. It had a beautiful blue hue to it that reminded him too much of what he lost. Well, what he was losing.

"I missed your voice. And the way you made me laugh when nothing was funny at all." Suguru sighs, looking down to hide the tears forming around his eyes. "This success I have... its nothing without you there with me."

Satoru reaches out hesitantly, eventually deciding to go for it. He rests a comforting hand on his shoulder. The touch is familiar, but it feels so foreign to them now. It doesn't carry the same meaning as it did before.

"I love you, Satoru."

"I know."

Satoru tries to get in his face to meet his avoidant eyes, but he can't seem to find them. Suddenly, he catches his face in his pale hands and forces their eyes to meet. Even sad, Suguru's brown eyes sparkled majestically.

"If I say it back, it would only hurt more."

Suguru nods. Theyre both old enough to know what this means. It hurt the most, truly, to belong to two different mindsets when just wishing to become one. They had different goals now. Totally different morals.

"I... I just wish I could change."

Satoru, still holding his face, wipes a falling tear from his cheek with is thumb. He smiles dumbly at Suguru. "I wish I would've been there for you. So you didn't have to start thinking this way."

Suguru cups his cheek in his right hand, tilting his head to the side. "Oh, Satoru. You were always so full of hope." He clenches his eyes shut, hoping to will away the pain building up inside of him. "I would've left no matter what." It just hurt to leave you.

Suguru was the only one who could truly silence him. That was true even now, as they broke eachothers' hearts for the nth time.

Satoru lets his hands fall, and Suguru pulls his own hand away. He can't help but notice the distant look in Satorus eyes, and the anger he feels with himself washes over his body. He shouldn't have come, for Satoru's sake. But, selfishly, he was glad to see him one last time.

They sit beside each other, close but not nearly close enough. They watch the slight glimpse of sunlight stretch across the horizon, poking through and casting an orange glow on their surroundings. It was beatiful. He remembered sleepless nights like these, staying up with Satoru to watch the sunset in silence. He always wished he could go back to simpler times.

As the sun begins to rize over the sea, Satoru rests his head upon his shoulder and closes the distance between them. Awkwardly, Suguru wraps his arm around him. To pull him closer, or to keep him from running, he wasn't yet sure.

They stay like this, comfrotable and hidden from the world for a moment. Here, in this moment, neither of them cared if they were caught. They could simply exist for a while, without explanation.

He feels the hum of Satoru's words against his neck before he registers them in his brain. "The next time I see you, I'll have to kill you."

Strangely, there's no malice in his words. He doesn't think Satoru could ever have that for him.

He chuckles, brushing his fingers carefully through his white hair. "I know."

They know their time is up when the sun reaches up to the sky and the loud chirping of seagulls fills the salty air.

Not knowing what else to do, Satoru shifts to meet his eyes, and he kisses him. Suguru kisses back. A longing kiss full of pain and deep devotion. They give it their all, knowing things would never be the same again.

Satoru stands up way before it should be over. Suguru stares at his feet, replaying the events in his head over and over so he'd hopefully commit the scene to memory.

"Don't call me again." His footsteps leave prints in the sand as he wanders off, the only evidence left of him. That and this aching pain in his heart.

Suguru never calls him back. He never goes to the beach. He never falls in love again.

#satosugu #stsg #gojo satoru #gojo x geto #jjk #goge #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #jjk geto #geto suguru

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tiredstressedemotionalmess · 9 months

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Can I say number 3 about party and kobra for the ask game (because I'm gerard and I love them) and also 13 about jet?

3 - What would they do if something happened to Kobra?

when kobra's in danger, they turn violent instantly, and this has been true since they were still really young. one of the first big red flags they raised with bli was when they were 4 and kobra had just been born. he was still only a few days old, and party overheard the doctors trying to convince their parents to agree to turning kobra over for a "corrective" procedure on his eyes (he has heterochromia) and party LOST THEIR FUCKING MIND- started screaming at their parents and ran in front of kobra's crib and even fucking bit their dd when they thought he was approaching to take kobra. it's a trend that follows them their whole life, the second they see someone trying to hurt their brother they're barring their teeth and fucking attacking. even as kobra gets older and it becomes clear he can more than handle himself in a fight, party's still there backing him up no matter what and they stop holding back the second it looks like kobra's losing. and if kobra ever died... you wouldnt wanna cross paths with them if he ever died because they would. get. revenge. even if he somehow wasn't murdered, if his death was accidental or due to an illness or something, party would still find a way to blame someone- they'd blame the whole city and burn it to the ground if they had to- just to feel like they've gotten justice for their little brother. they'd probably wind up getting killed in the process and, more likely than not, that's exactly what they'd want to happen. "im going down and youre coming with me" yk?

13 - If they could do anything without any consequences, but only once, what would they do?

hmmmmm this one's kinda hard. i think, maybe, she'd go for like a ten minute drive through the city or something. i think she's the only one of the four to never have been in or come close to being in the city, and they'd be curious enough to go in and see what it's really like. not that they'd do it bc she secretly wants to live there or something- no he hates the city as much as the rest of them- but thats exactly why she wants to see what its like yk? he's experienced the horrors of what bli does firsthand, has seen how the effects of living under them still weigh on party and kobra, and yet they still hold power, they still fucking exist! and as bad as party and kobra make it seem, he also thinks there's gotta be something other than mind control that keeps people content there, right? otherwise more people surely would've woken up to reality. so she wants to go in and take a look around, and try and figure out what the city's got that appeals to some many people. (and maybe if she fucks up a government building or two, well, there's no consequences so it'd mostly be just a therapeutic exercise right?)

#asks #ask game #my headcanons #thank youuuuu

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indigo474 · 6 months

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December 2nd 2023

I was a bit emotional today. I went on face book and saw Michaels wife posted a photo and i am reminded of everything ive lost. it hurts. what can i do but let it hurt. it brings up so many emotions in me.. my kids will never know how much i had to fight for them. and thats ok. i think of Madison and the pain she carries. she lost a lot too... why?? i do think X is evil- to do what he has done not only to me but to Madison- she had nothing to offer him- no trust fund and how dare she cost him money.. so so sick.. but then.. they are adults so shame on them for not speaking to their sister. shame of meghan-- someday someday-- the truth- i don't know when, or how.. and i don't know how 1 man ..... i ran almost 5 miles today. I'm going to need a bigger park. I'm doing the 10 k program so it wasn't all at one but it was challenging.. running is mental. i noticed when i start to feel uncomfortable while running i'm able to tell myself that its ok because ive felt uncomfortable before and it will pass. i ruined my run on thursday because my music app wouldnt work.. i kept trying and trying to get it to work- stopping and starting and i got so mad myself -- it's not working why do you keep trying? i had it in my head i couldnt run without music. Friday i ran without music. today i had music until the last 10 minutes.. i'm excited to see how far i can run. i'm still not sure i am a runner.. i'm not built like one. BUT i like it. I lifted today. 170 dead lift- it felt heavy.. ohh an this week my back has been hurting me.. i'm pretty sure i am getting my period or due to get it and thats why 1 emotions and 2 my back hurts??? it was stiff all week.. sitting at a desk all day make my body sore.. i still lifted heavy although i told james on tues my back hurt so i didnt life as heavy.. today i went in tired from my run which i probably shouldnt be doing.. i guess i could have waited to run afterwards? i have no idea what i should or shouldnt be doing.. i think james said ideally i shouldnt be doing both on the same day.. benched 100-- i get it- i lose it.. split squats almost killed me today- he upped the weight. i played with Kika.. james did a chrome delete on his tesla and his dad was not happy about it- i think its his dads car.. i think it looks good but he needs to get new wheels.. i'm getting use to my commute- i knew i would. i was merging when i should have been yielding- i'm glad i figured that out.. work is kind of horrible. i know one of my reps is going to be in for a rude awakening soon.. its heating season so things are a bit crazy- i was a little bitchy on friday with 2 of my reps.. the one coming to my desk for me to help her after i told her i was busy.. the other is ghetto and i had enough..everyone is so use to me being me- happy helpful positive- they could tell i wasnt in the mood on friday.. it is what it is.. i'm human too.. i had a meeting with both reps separately.. I wore myself out today. Ive been thinking about turning 50- i hate to say this but i'm slightly scared.. a little bit. my mom told me menopause hit her at 50. she went on to tell me how horrible it was.. so i guess i have that in the back of my mind. i feel like i was starting to have symptoms but they have mostly gone away. i want to be and feel excited about aging- it's a privilege and i cant stop it- it's when i hear people say negative things about it- the good news it I am not my Mom.. My house is decorated. it looks good. I wish i had another Christmas tree to decorate.. Madison says 3 is too many.. i'm not convinced. ive had a pretty incredible year.. i don't know how 2024 can top it.....

Madison is going to be working 3rd shift- she is happy.. i'm not that thrilled for her to be out in the middle of the night.

James says i should join the dating apps again.. its the only way to meet someone.. I do want to meet someone- i just do not want to join any dating app..... not now anyway. I am enjoying being single- i thought to myself today that i should enjoy it because i wont always be single. I won't always be single. he's out there..

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goatpaste · 3 years

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evil mane six you say... im listening👀

e! yeah this is like from a nearly 6+ year old AU of mine from when i originally into mlp and stuff

lil cringe but i really wantd to update it because i liked some design/story concept from it

some of the basic world building for this AU was that the Crystal Empire never disappeared and went on to basically be the cantorlot of this universe, and ponies relied on a crystal based technology system and magic became less of a focus as crystal magic was something everyone could use.

Sombra is a good king of the empire, with a large happy family. Dear friends to the wizards of cantorlot, Celestia and Luna. Sombra also made of the elements of harmony in my AU but this is about these bad bitches

twilight in my AU was a unicorn who looked up to the wizards of Cantorlot and wished to train under their wings. she learned many powerful spells from them and the books of great unicorns.

however Twilight became obsessed after learning of the elements of harmony, an ancient relic that had gone into slumber years ago claiming it wouldnt return until it was needed. however twilight thought herself to be smarter and able to force it out of hiding so that Equestria could have a boost in magic believing it would further society to have another source of power.

Twilight had no idea what she was working with and began to work behind the backs of celestia and luna. Tuning into Lord Tireks ability to absorb magic she used it for herself to drawn out the magic of the elements. However she was rejected and the spell turned on her, turning her to a monstery figure would mind could only think of taking the elements powers.

Shining armor was there with her when it happened trying to stop her, but instead became apart of the magical rejection. Only his body was effected and he was forced to stand by and watch his sisters mind become corrupted. Now she is locked in tarturus with Shinning armor as the doors gaurds, hoping they can find a way to heal her.

Rarity is much like her normal self, the only difference is she much more work focused and lives in the crystal empire. She was so goal oriented that she had no friends and simply went day to day working herself to the bone trying to make each dress better than the last.

it drove her made when she began to believe her style was becoming repetitive and she simple would do anything to get out of her runt. so she left the empire and went out into the snow around the kingdom seeking out an old mine full of unique and beautiful stones.

Little would she know she would come across a locked away evil that would take over her mind, feeding on her greed and want to be the best. she would act much as normal Sombra, taking over the crystal empire and demanding the most beautiful stones and jewelry and gowns of the people. it would be this event that would set the new elements into motion, king sombra and friends stopping rarity. (id like to thing her villian name could be oddity...)

when i originally designed these villian designs pinkie was defiantly meant to take over nightmare moons place.

Pinkie pie’s family lives in the crystal empire, as crystal farmers. Pinkie pie herself would work at the castle as a party planner from planning the birthdays of sombras children, to grand galas to diplomatic brunches. She is close friends with Princess Ivory.

However when rarity took over Pinkie pie was held captive as a jester for rarity. some believe the close contact with a creature radiating darkness infected pinkie pie. because there was hardly any build up, just one day Pinkie pie seemed to snap. right in the middle of a party she went berserk and began to destroy everything. The royal court chose to let her off assuming she was sick or had a sugar crash, the list of what it could be was endless. Pinkie pie word return again to throw Princess Ivory’s party and nearly kill her. Pinkie pie would have no memory of what she did only to come concious and learn she was banished from the court and to ever see Ivory again. it broke Pinkie’s heart and it was a moment of weakness. her mind was clouded and she turned into a monster of a mare named ‘The Timeless Party’ and planned to party the whole planet to its core until it could party no more.

with the new found elements of harmony powers pinkie pie was saved, she hasnt returned to the castle but still gets note from Ivory despite refusing to see her out of fear of hurting her.

Rainbow dash was a clouddale pony, she never left the city and happily worked at the weather factory and thinking of the day she would be a wonderbolt. Until the day she lost her wings, she could no longer fly like other pegasus and began to adjust to her new life. she moved to the ground and became a park ranger. she lived a happy simple life coming to enjoy the new experiences that came her way that she never thought she would thought she would enjoy.

Until a stroke of misfortune hit her, literally hit her. A bolt of lightning hit her and she swore she died, Until she awoke and found she wasn't. instead she was covered in dark rolling clouds that she could manipulate and shape to her will.

Rainbow dash found she could fly again and faster than ever before and with no fear of lightning or hail. the weather knelled to her. little did she know with the use of her power she brought on violent storms, floods and lightning made forest fires. Rainbow dash chose to stop her new powers until she could get them under control, but found this itch like a voice in the dark parts of her mind. telling her to let go and enjoy her powers, they were a gift after all.

it wasnt long until rainbow dash changed and seemed to no longer care about her damages. with this came the ancient unicorn, Starswirl the bearded. An old unicorn of old equestria would had frozen his aging to ensure his students could full take over for him one day. however star swirl was full of himself and could never see the bigger picture. He would freeze rainbow dash in ice and leave her in the cold mountains.

with the story reaching tarturus shining could over hear twilight talking about starswirl and asking shining armor if he really thought rainbow dash was the villian and if starswirl choices were truly for the best.

Fluttershy lives in ponyville outskirts but ponyville in this world is mostly underwater and a tourist town for the large spa/hotspring resort run by and supported by a colony of seaponies and sirens.

Fluttershy barely patreons there except to quietly get a spa once a month. and leaves without a world.

she still works with animals but mostly runs a pet cemetery for animals that drowned in the local waters or potentially eaten by rouge sea creatures. Fluttershy sadly would die in her own cemetery having fallen and hit her head on a tombstone.

however after not being found she would be reclaimed and returned to the living by the earth. believing she was given a second chance and was not one with the earth Fluttershy didn’t notice that it was darkness that brought her back. Fluttershy didn’t question her need to send the world back to a state when animals thrived and ponies were scares.

(a villian name i had for her was Queen Pangea)

With the mostly underwater Ponyville in this AU applejack comes from a family of both seaponies and sirens. herself mostly taking after the siren side of the family. She comes from a farming family of seaweed farmers that contributes to the spa and Ponyville’s many economy source.

Applejack’s colony would suffer a infection of darkness that effected a good chunk of the siren population including a bunch of applejacks family and herself. It started with it switching on and off were they would go into schooling frenzies and attack wildlife or other seaponies and sirens. Ponies began to speak bad of sirens believing them to be showing their true nature, which only pushed applejack over the edge. she would begin hunting the waters and destroying other seaponies livelihoods and the things the spa required, even running off guest.

Starswirl has plans to take care of the siren colony that has begun to terrorize ponyville, and shining armor questions if he really has the best choices in mind and wonders if the sirens are at all like his sister and need help.

#rmullet #lol sorry for the long ramblings #i just liked this au i think its a lil fun #long post #villian mane six au #mlp #twilight sparkle #shining armor #rarity #pinkie pie #rainbow dash #fluttershy #applejack

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sourdough-morbread · 3 years

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i havent screamed about mordred in a while so. here are some headcanons

- he doesnt remember before the age of nine, after the village he was living in got raided by camelots knights. its only vague pieces of hlaf formed memories. he isnt sure if they are his or if its cerdans retellings forming an image in his mind. all he knows is its a miracle he survived. usually they kill the children first.

- he does have one memory he knows is his. a well and a faceless image of an older boy showing him light tricks in the water. he doesnt know who the boy is, and its too overwhelming to ask cerdan for a long time. and when mordred is ready, cerdan is long dead.

- he is used to being alone. he has barely known anything else. he was alone for a long time before he joined the round table. probably ever since camelot broke apart alvarrs forces. he was alone among the druids too- he was a warlock. his existence made whoever he was with a bigger target and the druids knew that. and the people he was living with made that known. mostly unintentionally. but mordred has always been perceptive. he knew how people saw him.

- thats why he gets attached to morgana immediately. she is the second warlock he has ever met. she is like her, and she saves his life at the risk of facing Uther Pendragaon. then she shows up in the forest of ascetir, its his biggest wish coming true, so much that he thinks he is dreaming before he hears her scream in his mind and drags aglain after him with barely five words that are definitely not enough to explain whats going on.

- he teaches morgana the basics of easing off magic flares. thats the name for whats happening to her magic. its basically your magic into a spasm and surging at whatever high affinity thing it can find. like fire of a candle or water in a vase. he knows the druids are not going to let her stay for long, even in his wishful thinking. they will try to help her, sure, but he is the only person who knows what it is like for your magic to do that. and he knows if she doesn't learn this it is basically sending her to her death.

- when he hears about morganas betrayal, he doesnt believe it. 'corrupted by magic' he hears people whisper, 'fired crossbows into the crowds, what a monster.' and he knows its bullshit. because magic isnt not fucking corruptive, and she would never do that. she knows what it is like to be afraid. she wouldnt do that. this is some lie uther has come up with and told all the bards to sing. she must have been found out. that's the only explanation that makes sense.

- he joins the saxon bandits in 5x01 to get to morgana. he hears of morgana raising an army against camelot in the name of magic and it confirms everything he thought all along. and druids of the north are more warlike. fortress of ismere has belonged to them for centuries. this is hope. all that stuff about her kidnapping people for some nefarious project? obvious lies.

- except they are not. which is. concerning. but he still pushes on. this is the first time he felt like there was actual hope for magical people.

- his concerns disappear when he meets morgana again. its... surreal to see her. oddly enough the think that sticks out to him the most is that he is now taller than her. its just very weird to be taller than her. but other than that she is morgana. the only person to care about him so readily. he can feel her happiness just at his existence.

- except the whole tearing apart ismere thing. that he cant forget about because its scarred into the magic around him. he doesnt think she knows the damage she is doing. sensing magic is even rarer than warlocks.

- when she proves to him that all she really wants is revenge against arthur, he feels sick. its his worst fears he didnt know he had come to life right before his eyes. he can barely breathe, trying no to get lost in his thoughts. he cant go back to being hopeless and doing nothing but hiding among camelotians.

-thats why he joins arthur. reason says he should leave. joining camelot is dangerous. it is like going to the belly of the beast. except he cant go back to doing nothing and arthur, unlike morgana, actually cares about people. which is a very low bar. but if morgana wins everyones doomed she will burn the kingdom to the ground and sell it piece meal to the saxons.

#mordred #bbc mordred #sir mordred #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #headcanon #merlin headcanons #a cup of jasmine tea

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sery-chan-13 · 3 years

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Games

Chapter 7 to '100 Promises'

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Warnings: Swearing, violence, bullying, blood, I think that's it, but as always feel free to tell me if I missed any.

"I finally got contact lenses. I think they'll be better than my glasses. I mean, yeah, I'll probably still use them, but it's... nevermind, what do you think?" He rambled, a dorky smile on his face. "If it'll make you happy, then you look great," you said, smiling, honestly meaning your words. "I'm asking for your opinion woman, stop giving me the 'if it makes you happy' bullshit. Give me your opinion," he stated, shaking your shoulders."It looks good! I'm not used to seeing you without your glasses, but you look good!" You laughed, your words coming out in a vibrato of sorts from him shaking you. "I'm glad you think so."

"Dear gods my hair is getting long..." he muttered, running his hands through his hair, staring at himself in the bathroom mirror. "I think it looks good," you commented, passing by the bathroom with a laundry basket. "Really? I think I kind of like it too..."

"And how much does it hurt?" He questioned. "Not that much, or so I've heard. Plus, we're getting it at the same time, so... no backing out, or I'll cut your hair," you threatened, your hold on his hand tightening a bit. "No, don't you dare. And I won't back out," he said as you dragged him into the shop. (The fact I've been threatened with that-)

"I somehow can't believe we looked like that!" You laughed, pointing at the photo on your phone. It was from high school, and you were both laughing at how dorky you both looked. "Oh gods... actually, I was kind of hot," you said, giggling a bit. "Have we really changed that much?" Niragi questioned. "Well, let's see," you said, opening the camera and telling Niragi to get into frame. He did so, and you both stuck out your tongues, the matching piercings glinting in the light. You snapped the photo, and put it side by side the one from high school. "Wow... that's a big difference, holy shit," he laughed. You snickered, and posted side by side comparison of the the photos. "Yeah. Huge difference."

"Hatter would like to see you... Alone."

You looked back at Ann, and nodded, getting up. "If she's going, I'm going with," Niragi said, getting up himself. "He said he wants to speak to (Y/N) alone. Respect to rules for once please," Ann chided, as you walked to her side. Niragi laughed, finishing with a smirk, "And since when do I listen to the rules?"

You looked back at him with a proud, yet embarrassed face. Definitely not the same Niragi from back in the real world. He was more confident than you last remembered, that was for sure. "Dude, I'll be totally fine. The least they could do is kill me," you said, a bit to nonchalantly for his tastes. "That seems like a worse case scenario, but ok." he responded, "I'm still going with you." "No, you're not. Look, I'll be fine ok? Just wait outside the door," you suggested. He scoffed, but nodded nontheless. Ann stayed quiet, watching this exchange. 'So... is that all it takes to convince him? Really? All we needed was this girl?' Were her thoughts.

"Oh good, you're here!" Hatter exclaimed as soon as you walked in. Ann stayed outside, and shut the doors behind you. You nodded. Was he happy or just extremely charismatic? You didn't know, but whatever it was, it was nice. It made you feel like you were talking to someone you knew. Like the pleasant ladies from your apartment complex. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"Where are we?" You asked as you got off the train. "I don't know. Just took a random train. You said you wanted another adventure," he replied. You gasped. "Niragi Suguru, you did not," you said, grabbing onto his hand to make sure you didn't lose him in the large crowd. "I did. And what of it?" He asked, dragging you out. "Oh my gods... Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but which city are we in?" You asked one of the people who worked there. They smiled and answered with, "Shinjuku. Are you lost?" You shook your head. "No, we'll be fine. Thank you very much!" You said. Niragi dragged you to the exit. "I don't look presentable to be in Shinjuku right now, Niragi," you said, hiding your face. "You always look nice though. And it's called opportunity. I took it, and now we're here. So, let's take advantage of this, yeah?"

Hatter sat you down. "From what Ann and Aguni reported back to me, you're a quick thinker. Great shot apparently. They were both very impressed," he started. You smiled. "I'm honored they felt that way," you said. Hatter chuckled. "Well, Ann said you'd do well in either position of a militant or an executive. And it's just your luck the precious person who held number 7 recently... died. The games, obviously. Before you came here, actually. Maybe it was a sign it was meant to be yours. And, since you've proven yourself useful, I think it's a good idea," Hatter said, rambling a bit. "That's a bit too high for me, isn't it?" You questioned. You had just gotten here, you couldn't possibly be up that high already. "Uh... no. It's not. So, as of today, you shall be a militant," he said dramatically. You laughed, thanking him as he gave you a wristband with the number seven written on the blue tag. You slipped it on your wrist. "Oh, and just so you know, Aguni will most likely take you under his wing. The militants are mostly guys, so be careful. And... uh... your friend can help you find everything. He'll also show you to your new room. That is all. Goodbye now," he said cheerfully. You smiled brightly, thanking him.

You opened the door to leave, seeing Niragi leaning on the wall across the door. You smiled, closing the door softly behind you. "I'm back," you said. He nodded, "I can see that." "Can you really? You have your contact lenses?" You asked, skeptical. He nodded his head. "Surprisingly," he added. "Hmm... and for how many more days do you have them?" You questioned as he led you through the hotel. "Well, I've been in the borderland about 2 and a half weeks-"

"Woah, hold up... you'd been gone for six months up in the real world-"

"Well, I'm starting to think time runs differently in both places. Because no way in hell have I been here 6 months."

"Ok... continue on."

You two talked about whatever came to mind just like you used to. It was like you never skipped a beat. He lead you down into where they kept the weapons. "Only milatants and Hatter are allowed down here. This is the basement, and also where we keep the weapons. So, take your pick," he said, a smirk on his face. "You're a bit to proud of this aren't you?" You asked, looking over the different weapons. "Maybe," he responded. You didn't have to look at him to know he was smirking, you could just hear it in his voice. You picked out a knife that had a strap around. You also picked up a riffle similar to Niragi's, and turned to face him. "Ok, I'm good," you said. "Tomorrow, the militants are heading out on a supply run. Which means you now too. You can wear actual clothes now, isn't that fun?" He joked. You rolled your eyes shoving him playfully. He ran his tongue over his teeth. "That's really how you want to play, huh (L/N)?" He asked. You could hear the tone behind his words. The tone that meant run or your fucked, because whatever game he's scheming will end with you caught. It was quite normal for you two. Playing games with each other was a hobby back in the real world. Didn't matter how childish or immature they were. "Ouch, my last name? That hurts... Suguru." (Is that his last name or his first name? I don't know, I've been treating it as his last name, but I'm probably wrong) You giggled, running off. There was probably tons of places to hide inside the basement, and probably even more places throughout the beach.

"How was last night? Did you have fun?" He teased as soon as you woke up. You rolled your eyes. "Don't even talk to me about last night. Another disappointment," you groaned, rubbing your eyes. "Damn. That bad, huh?" He said, handing you a mug with coffee in it. You took a sip, and smiled. Perfect... He always made really good coffee, and it impressed you. "Yeah... definitely that bad. I heard him leave this morning, let's hope he never comes back," you said. Niragi laughed, taking a sip of his own coffee. The sunlight came in through the sliding glass door of your apartment. The sky was painted with pinks and purples. Gold dusted the clouds as the sun touched them. It was perfectly picturesque. "One day, we won't have to live in a sucky apartment building, you know? I promise you that one day we'll have... I don't know where do you want to live?" He asked you. You both walked over to the couch, sitting next to eachother. "I don't know... I'd go anywhere as long as I can still have my best friend with me.''

"Come on out, (Y/N). I'll find you sooner or later. We need sleep," he shouted. You stifled a laugh, and crouched down, sneaking around. You could see him looking around for you. You moved backwards, bumping into someone. You slowly turned around. It was the guys Niragi had introduced as 'Last Boss'.

Throughout the day, you had actually had the opportunity to talk to him a bit. More like you talked, while he observed you, occasionally making a sound of sorts to show you he was listening. He'd also answered your questions, so you thought he wouldnt be that bad. You made the quiet signal, putting a finger to your lips. He looked down quizzically. "Playing a game. Can't let him find me. Wanna join?" You whispered to the mysterious man. He nodded slightly, still a bit confused. "Ok, the objective is to not get caught by Niragi. He doesn't know you're playing yet, so I'll figure something out... oh, I got it! You go hide," you whisper shouted, shooing him off. He went to go hide, and you climbed to the top of one of the darker places. "A new player has joined in. One seeker, two hiders!" You shouted. You heard Niragi laugh. "Dumbass! You're letting me know where you are!" You smirked. That's what you wanted him to think.

"Oh nice! You got his glasses that's 20 points!" The boys shouted. You struggled to get out of the ropes tied your hands together. You heard Niragi groan, and looked up, seeing him on the floor, blood dripping from his nose. "Niragi!" You shouted in worry. He looked over at you, before one of the guys kicked his face into the ground. You struggled against the ropes the boys had tied around your wrist. It dug into your skin, you could feel the skin being rubbed raw from how much you had struggled against them ."So useless without eachother, huh?" One of them taunted. "Stop hurting him!" You yelled, squirming. "Oh? Would you rather we harm you then? You were always such a pretty girl... to bad you decided to defend him," the leader of their little group said, kneeling in front of you. "I don't give a damn if you hurt me. Stop hurting him!' You shouted. "(Y-y/N), don't," Niragi said, before one of the bullies kicked him in the stomach. He winced in pain, screwing his eyes shut. "Stop it! He didn't do anything to you!" You screamed, struggling even more, the ropes creating rope burn on your skin. "It's not a vengeance thing. It's fun," the leader said, grabbing your chin, making you look up at him. You glared at him in disgust, wanting so badly to just hit him, or spit on him in the moment. But you didn't. You didn't because you knew if you did either you or Niragi would get hurt. More likely Niragi, since they knew he was your weakness. "Just like it's fun making girls like you submit," he added with a smirk. "Don't you dare hurt her! Hurt me all you want, but don't touch her!" Niragi yelled. There was confidence in his words, but you also knew how scared he was. You could see it on his face. "That sounds boring though. What if we just make both of you our little puppets for the night, have you both put on a show?'' One of the guys snickered. This was followed by a chorus of 'not a bad idea' and 'sounds interesting.' You looked at Niragi, fear written all over your face.

You ran quietly, and quickly, knowing he could catch up to you. You looked around the dimly lit basement, and saw the exist to go up. Your eyes caught a flash of movement, and someone grabbed you, putting a hand over your mouth. You were shocked at first, going to scream bloody murder, before seeing it was Last Boss. He let you go, and you took a breath. "Oh my gods... dude that was scary," you whispered. He shrugged. "I have a place we can hide. I don't think he's smart enough to find it," He suggested, nodding his head over to Niragi. You stifled a laugh, and nodded, letting him lead you.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N), are you alright?" He worriedly asked, checked on you. You hissed in pain when his hands went over the bruises. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault, if I hadn't-" he started, blaming himself. You grabbed shoulders, and shook your head. "It's not your fault... it's ok," you said, sitting up. The gravel under you poked at the skin exposed from your school skirt. "I-its not ok!" He shouted. "It's... it's not ok. You shouldn't have- I could've-" he started, pulling at his hair. "Niragi. It's not your fault. You didn't... you didn't hurt me," you said, your voice calming. You grabbed his hands, pulling them towards you. You were just kids. Fucking 16 years old(not exactly a kid, but whatever), you shouldn't have to go through this stuff. No kid should. "I should be comforting you, yet here you are, making me feel better. Stop it, you're the one who-"

"Niragi, it happened to both of us. Stop acting like you're ok too."

"But- I'm supposed to... I-"

"Shut up, and come here."

He sighed, sitting besides you. You pulled his head into your lap, and he sighed. "Stop taking care of me. Stop hanging out with me, because you're the one who ends up getting hurt because of me. Please," he pleaded as you ran your fingers through his hair. "No," you responded. "(Y/N), stop being so stubborn! Please, just... just listen to me!" He shouted. You flinched at the sudden loudness. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you," he apologized, noticing when you flinched. You sighed, leaning back on the concrete wall. You muttered back something along the lines of him not having to apologize. You heard thunder, and saw a flash of lightning. "It's going to rain, we should go home," Niragi said. "Don't wanna... let's stay here?" You muttered, watching the sun get covered by the clouds. You were under a bridge, so you at least had coverage. He looked up at you, and nodded. "Ok. We can," he whispered. The raindrops began to splatter on the ground outside the coverage of the bridge, and you sighed in happiness. Niragi sat up, bringing you close to him. The smell of rain filled your senses, and you couldn't help but enjoy the moment, even if you had been in emotional and physical pain before. Being there helped numb it for a while. Being with him helped numb the feeling.

"Alright... if I were (Y/N)... where would I go?" Niragi muttered to himself, walking around. It was too quiet. You weren't a quiet person unless need be, and if he remembers correctly, which he does, you had a losing streak in hide and seek since high school. You were too giggly to hide in silence, or maybe you got scared by being alone in the dark to long. Whatever it had been, you had a losing streak for almost 8 years. That was not about to change, not if he had a say in it. A part of him said he was not acting like himself, and that playing this with you was childish. Especially in the borderlands. He knew he would have to find you either way, so he stopped caring. He remembered what she had said. A new player has joined in. One seeker, two hiders! 'Ok, process of elimination....'

"So, given the fact Chishiya isn't allowed down here, I think I know who she's with, and where she is. Let's see if I'm right.''

This was more memories than actual current events... oh well- hope you enjoyed, have a wonderful day/night, baii!! Oh yeah, just because this is the only place people have a problem with me posting Niragi stuff, if you don't like it, the block button is right there, don't send me death threats or tell me to go kms. Thank you

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #this turned out kind of cute?#it'll probably get dark soon... might be bad

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atla-hcs-and-bakoda · 3 years

Text

Bato’s Backstory

ok so this is gonna be long, buckle up. This is my personal interpretation of bato’s backstory, it likely makes no canonical or reasonable sense, but canon does not exist and i make the rules. this is purely self-indulgent crack-treated-seriously. This is what all the other hcs, unless stated otherwise, will be set in.

Note about Bato: in my interpretation of him, he has teal/cyan eyes and darker brown hair than in the show, his skin tone has not changed.

(unfortunately this is not a zukka au, just a bakoda one. bato’s backstory is kind of an au in my mind, so when i do ship zukka, its not in this au)

(the bold letters at the beginning of the paragraphs are for accessibility)

‘Present’ (only a few months after zuko’s coronation) ages: Hakoda & Bato - 41 Kya - 42 Iroh - 65 Ozai - 47

under the cut because oh boy this is long, sorry asdfghfd

So, our story begins in the fire nation, about 59 AG, Iroh is the 25 year old crown prince, and recently had a child with his wife, Minami, on the coldest day of winter. They named him Shui, and they, quite frankly, spoilt him with their love. Minami stayed in the castle while Iroh was at war, and always sang to Shui while putting his hair up or putting him to bed.

One day, when Shui was 9, Azulon decided to take his family to Ember Islands on vacation, like the royal family has been doing for generations. However, there was a bad storm, and the ship got thrown near the south. Little Shui followed Iroh onto the deck, and fell overboard when a big wave hit the other side of the boat, rocking it and making him fall.

The royal family and crew tried to save him, but the waves dragged him under, and once the storm cleared, he was presumed dead. Iroh and Minami mourned the loss of their first son, who died so young that he hardly got to live life at all. Ozai mourned to a minor extent, as he was 15 at the time and wasn’t as bad as he is in the present, but not for as long as Shui’s parents, or grandfather, did.

Meanwhile, in the southern water tribe, little 9 year old Hakoda was wandering down at the seaside with his father when he came across a young boy unconscious in the snow, the cold water nearly freezing him to death. His father hurried him back to the tribe with the young boy’s body. For days, Hakoda sat beside the bed, rarely moving from the spot, keeping watch on the mystery boy. And eventually, he woke up.

Hakoda introduced himself once the boy was fully awake, but when asked his name, the boy said “i...i don’t remember...” So, instead, Hakoda decided to pick a name for him; Bato. The boy agreed to the name, and after a week, got adopted by one of the tribesmen, a close friend of Hakoda’s father. After that, the two children were an unstoppable duo, they did many successful pranks on everyone, including Hakoda’s mother, Kanna.

However, every once in a while, Bato would blurt out something without thinking, and when questioned, wouldn’t be able to remember it at all. For instance, Bato and Hakoda were once watching the stars late at night, when Bato pointed at a constellation and called it Druk. Hakoda laughed, but Bato insisted that was its name. Hakoda asked where Bato learned that, since thats not what their tribe calls it, and Bato had no recollection of learning it.

(This continued well into teenagehood, when Bato realised at the ripe old age of 14 that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend. He didn’t come out for a long time, in fear of his tribe’s reaction. Deep down he knew they’d accept him with open arms, but his anxiety said otherwise.)

At 12, there was a fire nation raid while Bato was at the seaside, and he recognised both the ship and flag instantly despite not being told prior about the Southern Raiders. He ran to tell the chief, and thanks to his quick reaction, saved the tribe to a degree. Many waterbenders still died, however.

At 15, Bato and Hakoda went ice-dodging with their respective fathers- and eachother. Hakoda recieved the mark of the wise, and Bato recieved the mark of the brave.

One night at 15, they were cuddling in Hakoda’s bed (because thats what best friends do, of course. its cold, no other reason, totally not) when Hakoda noticed Bato’s eye color; Teal. not the regular water tribe blue, not a dark blue, or even a light blue, but pure Teal. Although hakoda would still argue to this day that bato’s eyes are cyan. When questioned about his eye color, Bato shrugged and brushed it off as an uncommon trait. But Hakoda realised nobody else in the tribe had cyan eyes, just blue.

Then, at 16, the boys got into a bad avalanche that resulted in Hakoda getting knocked out. Bato woke up hours later, and pulled his best friend out of the snow. He realised Hakoda wasnt breathing, and started to cry, taking his gloves off to cling to Hakoda and try feel the warmth of his pulse, to no avail. He closed his eyes and cried, when his hands lit on fire. When he realised what he just did, he put the flame out and made a plan, carrying Hakoda to the dog sled quite a bit from the avalanche, and set them on course for the tribe while he carefully lit his hands back on fire after a few attempts, and kept Hakoda warm.

Just before they got to the tribe, Hakoda started breathing again, shallowly, and his father quickly took both of them to the healer when they arrived back. This time, it was Bato who sat beside the bed and waited for Hakoda to wake up, refusing to eat much until his friend woke up.

He never told anyone about his bending.

A few months later, Hakoda met and started dating Kya, and Bato’s heart broke. he was happy for hakoda, he really was, but deep down it still hurt him to see him with someone else.

At 20, Hakoda’s father went off to war. At 22, Hakoda became Chief, and Bato became the second-in-command.

At 23, Hakoda proposed to Kya after like 20 failed attempts at carving a betrothal necklace. Bato’s heart broke a tiny bit more, but he ignored it to be happy for his friend. Bato had to sleep alone for the first time since he joined the southern water tribe, he didn’t sleep much when alone.

2 years later, at 25, Sokka was born, and Bato babysat him a lot when Hakoda and Kya were busy. Bato admittedly vented to baby sokka quite a bit, and showed him very minor firebending tricks he practiced during sleepless nights, which was most nights.

At 26, Katara was born, and Bato now babysat two little children, both of which he adored with all his heart. He himself is infertile, so Katara and Sokka were the closest thing he had to his own children.

Things went mostly peacefully for years, until 34, when Kya got killed. After the raid, Hakoda wouldnt eat for days at a time, completely depressed and exhausted. Bato would offer him small plates of food and sit with him, letting him vent or cry or whatever Hakoda needed to do to get the stress and pain out. He also looked after Sokka and Katara while Hakoda couldn’t, and usually slept next to Hakoda’s bed, watching over the chief, along with his kids, as both children were terrified to sleep by themselves, Hakoda was scared of losing them, and Bato couldn’t bare the thought of not keeping them safe.

After years of recovering, Hakoda eventually had to head out to war with the men of the tribe, Bato included. Bato’s heart broke watching Sokka beg to come with them, but he knew it was for the best.

3 months after leaving, Bato came out to Hakoda in the Chieftan’s private room in the boat, and Hakoda accepted him with open arms, and promised to not tell anyone until Bato was ready. Bato fell a lot more in love.

At 5 months, he started very carefully dropping hints to Hakoda that he likes him, slightly-too-friendly-to-be-platonic compliments, cuddling him in hakoda’s room “because its cold” (they were nowhere near cold climates), and other vaugely homoerotic stuff like that. All of it went over Hakoda’s head.

(At 6 months he straight up told Hakoda at night on the deck “Your my stars, Hakoda. Whenever i’m lost, you always bring me home.”, and Hakoda responded “Thanks Bato, I’m happy your my friend too.”, Bato stayed awake all night in utter disbelief. He still teases Hakoda about it.)

1 year after leaving, Bato realised he might not be as much of a guy as he thought he was. He silently decided to put that train of thoughts on hold until the war was over. (In his heart he knew the war would never be over until the fire nation won. especially with sozin’s comet only a year away and- he doesnt remember what sozin’s comet is.)

When his arm got burned, he burned the soldier right back with his good arm out of sight of everyone else, and managed to shove them overboard before the pain hit him. He’s always had a high pain tolerance. After the fight ended, Hakoda carried Bato to the abbey, and they had a tearful goodbye, where Bato quietly confessed his love as Hakoda walked out the room. Hakoda thought about it until he saw Bato again.

When they reunited, Hakoda confessed his love back to Bato, and they kissed right in the open, it took a lot of self control for the other tribesmen to not cheer, they had known for literally forever, the only person in the tribe who didnt know bato was in love with hakoda was hakoda.

Somehow, it took until the war was over for Sokka and Katara to find out they had a step-dad. They already considered Bato to be their second dad, so not much exactly changed.

The day of Zuko’s coronation, Bato got talking with Iroh, and when the topic came to children, Iroh explained how both his sons were dead, one dying at 9 from a storm, and the other dying at 20 from war. When Iroh says his youngest (eldest?) son’s name, Shui, Bato remembers the storm, and Iroh notices Bato’s rare cyan eyes.

They have a nice reunion, although Bato has to sit down for a while to process all this and figure out his family tree. He decides not to tell Hakoda yet, but he does spend a while walking through the palace with Iroh and remembering parts of his early childhood. He cant bring himself to go into the room of firelord portraits.

A month after zuko’s coronation, he sits Hakoda down and explains that he’s a bender, and he’s apparently fire nation royalty. Hakoda gets temporarily mad, but eventually calms down and hugs Bato when his friend told him that his firebending saved both himself and hakoda, and that he would never be like his forefathers or uncle. Hakoda takes a while to fully accept it, but eventually warms up (heh) to the concept, and continues to use Bato as a personal space heater.

Two months after zuko’s coronation, he finally decides to tackle the “i’m not as much as a guy as i thought” issue, and he decides to go to Iroh and Toph for advice over tea, where Iroh suggests some wise stuff, but Toph simply explains what non-binary is, and suggests Bato may be Demiboy. (Although Bato prefers to call himself Demiguy, he doesnt like being called a boy) The Gender Crisis continues for about another week, and takes another half a month for him to come out to Hakoda. Bato was somewhat internally afraid he wouldnt be counted as one of the men, but Hakoda was overwhelmingly supportive, and admitted that he knew Bato wasn’t exactly cis, he just never knew the words to use.

Bato spends a while at the palace after the coronation to get his bearings on being half fire nation and a prince, he learns purple is a very good color on him.(Hakoda later jokes that it was foreshadowing for Bato realising he was enby, as he wasnt blue or red)

He bonds quite a bit with Zuko, Iroh, and Toph during his stay, but eventually goes back to the southern water tribe, the place he truly considers home. Although, he does go and visit the fire nation every once in a while. He even goes to Ember Islands and has a vacation day with both of his families.

After about two years, He finally makes a betrothal necklace for Hakoda, with the symbol of the water tribe on it and flames coming up from the waves, both of them totally cry happy tears when he proposes privately under the light of the aurora.

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coolgirl · 4 years

Note

Hey what's Jason's relationship with nocturna? It's the first time I've heard of her😣 and nothing on her wikia mentioned anything about Jason. She seems interesting character and I would like to know more about her.

okay I went. A little insane. Here's a retelling of her pre crisis arc, long as hell

(this part covers Batman #529 / Detective Comics #363 / Batman #530) ok for some context: it’s pre crisis, meaning this Jason was also a circus boy. He has recently lost his parents, and was taken by Bruce, but isn’t dealing with the loss well, finding himself missing his past life. PLUS Bruce isn’t allowing him to be his partner, and that has him sad as well.

SO he wants to go back to the circus, since hes lonely and directionless etc.

NOW. ENTER NATALIA KNIGHT! Shes a villain, think.. Catwoman meets Poison Ivy? She’s a thief, but seduces men to do the stealing mostly.

Her backstory is basically that she was an orphan living in the streets, and met who will then become his adoptive parent Charles Knight when she was 12. When she’s already an adult, Charles gets killed, and she finds out he had big money bags bc he was a criminal. and she said. awn man i like being rich. well. time to do crimes.

she’s rlly into the night and the stars (she was the head of the observatory, which Bruce was funding through his company or w/e)

anyways. she gets away, Jason helps bruce find her (but! bruce wouldnt le him help which rlly hurt jason), and as her and her partner anton are getting away (again) batman catches up to them, but only manages to bring anton to justice, while Nocturna escapes in like. one of those giant balloons idk whats the name

the issue ends with Nocturna/Natalia sending Bruce money for the maintenance of the observatory and with Jason deciding to leave

NOW onto the next part. So in this issue we have Jason escaping home, Bruce going to court against Natalia’s partner Anton, and Natalia just vibing around, and she happens to find Jason running away from home, and they have a conversation in which she tries to convince him to go back home.

but Jason. well.

So Bruce gets back home and Alfred tells him about Jason running away, and bruce, in real bruce fashion, is all like ughg i shouldve listened to him.. well lets go get him. and alfred is like. sir. do i have to remind u u arent his legal guardian yet. u have no right to decide where he stays.

so bruce is like ugh fine. i’ll go patrol then. which he does, and turns out Nocturna was trying to help Anton escape, and well it fails, and she gets captured too.

and that’s that for Natalia… for now ;)

NOW. this isn’t relevant for Natalia & Jason but again some context. Covers um covers fuck a bunch of issues. SO. what happens in this time

jason goes back to the circus but is deeply unhappy

he’s still doing detective work. hasnt seen bruce or alfred in a while

alfred visits

case stuff case stuff case stuff it was the clown all along

Jason ends up helping Bruce, since they were both working the same case separately, and they make up

NOW. a lot of shit happens not relevant to nocturna. Jason isnt robin for a while, then he uses Dicks costume, then bruce gets mad at him for that bc its not his costume, so jason uses his own costume, then dick gives him the robin costume, so jason becomes robin. um stuff stuff happens and all it matters is the panel below.

NOW! BACK TO NOCTURNA!

her comeback arc kinda starts in batman #374, where this lady is like hold on.. bruce wayne isnt jasons legal guardian wtf, is he even fit to have a kid?

so she starts digging around, asking questions

and shes like yea this is real fishy, give me that kid

so bruce and jason try to behave like uh yes no robin and batman business. let that kid be a kid.

but welp.

and so.. Jason is taken away :( and both of them are heartbroken :(

but u know what! bruce wayne is one stubborn fucker! and he will fight to have the legal guardianship!

and even if they’re not living together anyomre they’re still the dynamic duo in a way, which like. lol. this lady took this kid away bc she was worried about him but he still ran away.. tch tch tch.

they’re both rlly depressed about the situation

AND THATS WHAT U MISSED ON GLEE!!

NOW. SHES BACK. look at this epic cover

shes now parterning w a dude named nightshade or smth, and he like. rlly wants to hit that, but shes like um pause ⏸️✋my love is the night. the dude, like every other man, is like so im not getting anything from this? fuck u, and leaves. shes like whatevers, ugh how annoying i dont have a partner again & anton is still in prison… & while shes again chilling she finds out about Bruce trying to legally adopt jason & recognizes jason from the time they talked

& goes to visit him

and theres also this dude, whos not rlly relevant for now, will try to stop bruce from adopting jason which will be relevant later hehe (there's a whole subplot with him and bullock but like it's not rlly relevant to Jason n Natalia) (shrug emoji)

and so. Bruce finds out..

and so the cover becomes a reality, Bruce and Natalia WILL fight in a chuck n cheese parking lot to become Jason’s parent.. and Natalia may try to pull a reverse card on Bruce

and well. Bruce rlly has no chance now does he? and turns out Jason wants this to happen since hes convinced he can unreveal Natalia’s secrets from the inside

and a lil sweet moment between father & son

and then a moment with Amanda, who, in my opinion, did nothing wrong ever

meanwhile Anton comes back, tells Nocturna he killed the dude that was bothering her, and she gets PISSSSEDD OFF shes like u TARNISHED the night by SPILLING BLOOD, u absolute BEAST, Bruce gets there, some weird stuff happens that aged rlly poorly, then Nocturna stabs Anton to save Bruce, turns out she knows hes batman, again shes like marry me to have our son (Jason) and hes like no! and leaves. While Bruce tries to find Anton, Jason is like ive HAD IT i wanna go out, but Natalia stops him

then the next morning Amanda gets her head straight and talks to Jason

but well Jason is hellbent on exposing Natalia from the inside or w/e, and eventually she gets the custody, even if Amanda tries to convince him and the judge Bruce is a better choice (since she noticed Jason clearly favors him and was in pain when he wasnt at the wayne manor)

and everyone is coddling Bruce which im adding bc its cute and i miss this relationship Bruce had with Vicki and Julia

MEANWHILE, at the knight house. mad hatter is a a weird creepy rat bastard n tries to get control of Natalia & get the information of her brain or smth. Batman gets there & we get a Batman vs Controlled nocturna fight and then Robin also arrives and its Batman & Robin vs Nocturna, but B tells Jason to focus on getting Mad Hatter, which he does and then gets Nocturna back to normal whatever, and she again asks Bruce to marry her, which hes again like no thank u! the issue ends with this page which is rlly sweet imo

next up Anton is back but it doesnt matter rlly. a woman is tending to him, n because shes blind hes like. im batman. yeah. and she believes it.

AND then Jason is formally adopted by Natalia

Jason is still trying to find proof that shes evil, and they share a moment.

but jason is like. gotta fight crime! and so Natalia is like well i tried. wanna go be robin a bit?

Batman & Robin go after mad hatter, and then Nocturna joins them bc shes epic

and takes jay home bc its a school night smh

Natalia & Jason spend some time together but Jason still doesn’t warm up to Natalia which like. makes sense since shes a villain and all that, but she tries nevertheless

and then everyones most hated bitch comes back (Yes, anton) n he attacks Natalia, and then Jason when he hears the ruckus and goes to help

but gets a chop

but! Bruce was just on his way to visit them so

fight fight bruce gets shot in the head n gets amnesia and thinks the dude anton shot & killed was him

Anton swaps their costumes n makes Bruce believe that Anton is batman not him? or smth

afterwards Jason blames himself

and him & Natalia team up to find Bruce which includes.. carrying a corpse around

for three days (well. nights) anton just runs around stealing n shit dressed as batman, n bruce is. literally chilling on a rooftop. alfred is losing his mind bc !? jason hasnt contacted him!? about what happened!? but Julia comes home and comforts him

gotham is a lil in chaos with gordon vicki vale n bullock being suspicious, and the girl who was helping anton finds the stuff he stole and realizes hes not batman.

on the fourth night Jason n Natalia find Anton

n they fight him

but Anton gets the upper hand w Nocturna so Jason jumps in to defend her

and then Nocturna defends Jason bc thats his baby

but Anton doesnt get like. killed w that ofc, and hes like fuck u i’ll kill u one day but when the kid isnt here and after batman has fallen, bye (throws jason from building)

and Natalia reagroup n well.. some things are said

bc like even if Nocturna is helping shes a villain.. right? (thinking emoji)

meanwhile Bruce finally got his mind back. not important. who cares. the lady who was helping Anton goes to the police to tell them about Anton/fake batman dun dun dun. but Anton finds out and knocks out the policeman who went w the girl (Tina!) to check for proof n shit.

and guess whos back! amanda!

back to new dynamic duo

so Jason the little rascal (can i say hes a rascal when hes doing the hero thing n trying to expose a criminal?) goes looking for proof that Natalia is Nocturna n stuff, and finds some stolen things

1. singsonging.. hes such a little shit lmaoo, 2. she was worried… pause…

anyways. they have a confrontation

in which Natalia swears shes reformed, but Jason doesnt buy it, and is like. im gonna get gordon! and Natalia is like.. do what u think is best

but. he can’t do it..

n hes like. well shes not bad anymore.. i wish i could go back to bruce without sending her to prison which… please development.. n natalia DOES want his love..

AND THEN! BRUCE IS BACK! and he teams up with Nocturna to find Anton, but its just their luck Amanda sees them

they do sm stuff not relevant and then Bruce is like go back to ur son now, and Natalia is like.. OUR son :)

well whatever whatever they get Anton, Bruce goes back to being Batman, they clear his reputation, Jason goes back to the manor since Amanda saw Natalia, etc

(he munches he crunches) also im gonna add this that isnt relevant bc its just so funny, buenos dias alfred

anyways stuff hapens, like idk 14 issues without nocturna, the most important bit that happened is that selina is back. which she was gone. yeah. but shes back and around.

ANYWAYS! 15 issues later! shes back! some dudes entered her old observatory n were vandalizing and she was like hold up

meanwhile we have Jason calling amanda bc he well.. misses his mom and as much as he loves bruce and hes his dad its not the same for some reason

jason in every universe: i miss my mom i want my mom :(

at school Jason overheards some kids talking about Natalia in the observatory

Jason goes looking for Natalia n turns out Bullock was also trying to see what was happening in the observatory, so they kinda team up for two whole panels to find her

but Jason is like im not telling u shit.. n goes w Natalia on his own

google always taking pics

n they share a moment ;_____;

n theyre reunited.. now ur gonna have to excuse me bc i didnt download the high quality of the next tec issues n all the download links are sadly broken

but… what about natalia?

then bullock finds them

well bullock lets her go n while retelling the stuff to gordon he has.. a theory

meanwhile Nocturna.. well Nocturna is back at it again, taking charge of a band of thieves.. sigh.

anyways, they talk, theres something weird happening w the sky that may mean the world is ending or smth, and they make up AND make out

n they have a talk thats basically like. what now? should we be together? well depends if ur still gonna steal. i need funds to get the observatory back in track (HELLO BRUCE IS RICH HE COULD PAY IT..) and hes like oh so ur gonna be a thief again.. and shes like well havent u noticed im only stealing from corrupt rich politicians!? (QUEEN) n theres this gorgeous shot

n then they go their separate ways bc its fucking batman

anyways. Selina was also investigating the group of thieves (that were like black masks old gang but he was sent to prison so Nocturna took over etc) and she sees Nocturna leaving and follows her to the Observatory but.. Jason is there too

Selina wants her GOOOONE she needs to clear her name but Jason is like. over my dead body

n well ……. the girls are fightinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

but Bruce intercepts

n now Batman n Catwoman fight and its like the girls are fightingggggg… 2! but doesnt matter look at them

and then Selina gets struck by lightning

n then theres a earthquake bc god what a damn comic, and the observatory collapses, and Natalia is trapped inside

anyways Selina is in the hospital, Anton is still killing people and knows where she is and is trying to get to her, and this little scene happens with Jason n B

n while Bruce stays with Selina Jason goes to find Natalia which is so funny like. she went to Natalia, his mom, when Bruce told him to go home and well– we al know that story.

n now its a race to get to Natalia before Anton gets to her

n its rlly sad bc like Natalia is ready to die

but both Bruce n Jason are trying to reach her

and here comes Jason!

AND LIKE. the fact she wants to live after all bc of Jason rlly makes me emotional not gonna lie! not gonna lie!

and no offense but a mother’s love………………………………….. no thoughts head empty

first of all i hate anton so fucking much. secondly here comes batdad..

n Jason tries to help Natalia escape and then get back to Bruce who is getting his ass kinda kicked

guess whos coming in that helicopter.. selina freaking kyle.. the legend.. and she helps Bruce with Anton.

I REALLY DONT GET THIS TBH LIKE. he puts her into the giant balloon so she can get away but like shes hurt buddy shes gonna die up there..

and. shes gone.

n Jason is absolutely devastated

n like. Bruce. as always. is like ok champ i see u got it in control, lmk when u wanna go home

LIKE HES SO SAD.. OF COURSE HES SAD THAT WAS HIS MOM....

And thats. pretty much it. Natalia is gone.

However Jason still grieves her, and when Bruce and Selina are trying to get back together and... hes not a big fan of their relationship.. at all. But bruce tries to pair them up so they can become at least friends, since he loves them both and doesnt want to like. pick between his son and his lover

and they make a fine team, even if Jason grieving Natalia and how Selina doesnt want to take her place is brought up a couple times :(

and it gives it a bittersweet ending to the arc

and well. thats it. thats the Jason and Natalia dynamic.

Natalia reappers later post crisis but well w/o her connection to Jason.. and i really dont wanna talk about the version of her that appears in batwoman comics LOL.

conclusion: natalia was a bad lady, who at first wanted to use jason to get money from bruce, but then she had a change of heart, and development and became a kind of anti hero? well not antihero just.. she was trying her best man. i wish she hadnt disappeared like she couldve stayed relevant to jasons story without having to be romantically with bruce? bc if u read her comics u can see that she was killed off/voided for batcat to comeback which... typical batcat! anyways. i think she genuinely loved and cared for jason and that jason loved her and cared for her right back :(

#Anon #long post #jason todd #natalia knight #I think a lot of stuff about super early nocturna didnt age well BUT. IT GOT RETCONNED!! and she got a deserved redeption arc i think

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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years

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Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

#rwde #rwby critism #anti mkek #yu gi oh #ygo duel monsters #yu gi oh analasis

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fipindustries · 3 years

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list of comics i made so far

i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.

now without further ado, lets begin!

spike Vanderville (age 7)

you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.

curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time

andrew and the monkey (age 10)

this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame

FIP industries (age 17)

mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)

Disregarding Reality I (age 20)

the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.

i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...

Strangers in the forest (age 21)

here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.

Song of a nightmare (age 21)

another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.

Aika (age 21)

as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?

this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”

oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious

Hello Agatha (age 21)

a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!

there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!

The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)

an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.

the vest kind of madness (age 22)

probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.

to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.

Disregarding Reality II (age 23)

another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.

this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.

Mama Bird (age 24)

my masterpiece.

by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one

Soft boys (age 25)

a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.

Hexen Snatch (age 25)

a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.

on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.

Maxplosive (age 26)

another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.

the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.

sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.

i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....

Lapsarian (age 27)

an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.

took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?

its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”

Conclussion:

looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).

something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future

#art #writing #fip living life

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coldcoffeemagic · 3 years

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Bad decision number 1

A lonely night and desperation...

Believe me it sounds worse than it is, or maybe it is as bad as it sounds

I am human, that is the basis of all our flaws and mistakes, our choices, i was always raised to believe that as we aged we would become wiser, after all growing up our elders are always in the right, they are the ones who we look to, the ones who guide us, who for a good portion of our life we rely on to make the right decisons, i dont know when we grow our wings and i dont know when im supposed to understand adulthood, but one thing has become painfully clear, i cant outrun the human emotions in me, as hard as i try.

To get to this decision i have to go back, back to when things felt atleast some degree of normal, when life seemed to have a direction to go that wasnt in circles, i was 18, Life was normal, its hard to believe that that is almost 10 years ago now, it feels like it was just yesterday, i lived in a big city, worked full time and went to university part time to study pre med, i had a few close friends, a social life, i was a happy girl, the world felt like it was in my grasp and i was going to own it, but life has a funny way of turning upside down when we least expect it, and boy...did it.

My life wasnt sheltered, i felt hardships like most, but i was loved, had a warm bed and a full stomach, i was raised by my grandparents, my grandmother passed away when i was 14 and my grandfather took over caring for me, since my mom was mostly absent due to alcohol issues,

2012 December 26th it all changed, belly up, my grandfather had a major stroke, i saw the early signs but he was 81 and despite medical intervention damage was done, at first it was labelled as delirium, temporary, but as time went on it became more signifiant and was to be dementia. My family were stubborn they didnt want nurses aid, they wanted him home, they wanted to hang on to the hope that a miricle would come about and he would wake up one morning cured, i was more realistic but to submissive to speak up, looking after him fell to me, and souly me because despite wanting him home, no one else wanted the responsibility or to sacrifice time, work was the first thing cut back to one day a week, 5 hours away where my aunt would look after my grandfather, usually entertaining him in the yard or with greasy food, leaving a mess for me to clean up on my return, i didnt mind at first, it was my job, he had raised me, cleaned up after me, i was returning the favor, i would not complain. But as his mind began to slip into the icy depths of unknown, the world in his view changed, i became a threat, home became a jail, and exhaustion became very very real.

He lost concept of time, he could not tell the difference between day and night, breakfast at 6pm dinner at 3am, lunch a 7am, bed and anger at noon, because i could not turn the sun off for him, i became the enemy, a stranger holding him captive, many nights i was locked in my room with a man angry and armed on the other side trying to get in, it always passed but i feared for my saftey enough to put a lock on the inside of my door, i pushed on, studying in my free tme, never really having a routine i slowly lost contact with friends or they stopped contacting me, im not sure which, ether way i was alone, and family ignored my pleas for help.

Days turned into months and pure exhaustion took me in its grips on night, i didnt hear a door open, a window break, i didnt relaize when i rose at 6am that he had made his way out into the night alone, i called my family, they were angry, they needed someone to blame, how could i loose him, i was his caregiver... we searched and came up with nothing, i made rounds of his favorite places on my way to the police station, about to pull into their carpark i got the call, a kind lady found him, he was brusied and cold but alive, he was taken to hospital for a once over and when we arrived, the nurse saw my distress, she pulled me aside and i broke... she understood, she made the decision for me and she told my family he needed to go into a care home, he could not return to us, it simply wasnt safe, he needed a specialist unit, a locked ward, i was grateful, but then came the punch to the gut, the care was not free, and the govt wouldnt subsidise any of it, not unless his assets were sold...his assets....my home, my family didnt hesitate they called realtors and i felt invisible...forgotten, i had no where to go, no one had offered me a room, or a hand, i paid for his care in the coming weeks, and slowly packed what i could, i did not know where i would go, i thought for sure i would be homeless, i was scared, i had tried everything, a mortgage broker, loans, donation pages only to find myself growing bitter at the strangers receiving the help i genuinely needed, seeing bullshit causes rake in the money while no one sent even a cent my way, i lost my faith in the world, i was in this alone, and i realized it wasnt anything new, i found a home, middle of nowhere, 800km away from everything i had ever known, i could take 2 car loads with me, i moved, no carpets, no bed, no fridge, no oven, broken windows, rural. It was 2 years until i would have a bed, 3 until i finally got windows fixed and carpet laid, and in that time not a soul would reach out to me, sure i didnt reach out ether but i was in a deep dark hole looking for the light and it wasnt there, i grit my teeth and keep pushing, time ticks on and we reach 2020, yup the ominous 2020, shit hit the fan, i got sick, very sick, twisted bowel and early onset osteoarthritis in both my hips, i was unable to work until these issues were resolved or stabilized, that meant alot of thinking time...and realizing how truly lonely i was, how much i was craving a connection, i dont know how i came across the site i did or why i clicked, maybe i felt like if anyone would understand being isolated and alone it would be someone in jail...

Yup jail, i found a guy called Derek, something drew me to him, somehow i have been able to over look the fact hes booked on 2nd degree murder, hes been a highlight of dark days, having someone to talk to, exchanging dreams and one day goals, to feel normal and cared for, but am i insane? I dont know, the back of my mind screams this is the stupidest thing i could do, im talking...perhaps falling for a guy whos killed his own father...

I dont know what to do...i am lost, i am unsure, i am becoming dependant on the interaction with someone i dont know if i should...surely someone reading this can tell me, what do i do...i just dont know anymore, on the darkest days, im not sure i will survive with no one to reach to.

#help #advice #mentalwellness #story

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gil-notskajla · 4 years

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"Xerath's past from childhood to imprisonment" headcannon (including some of the cool ideas form @fattyaly ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) let's go:

• Xerath had many scars from corporal punishments and brutal indelicacy of previous owners.

• Xerath's human height was below avarge - undernourishment durring his service as a lesser slave disrupted his childhood development. When Azir took him in, his diet became more proper but the damage was already done.

• Xerath was quite lonely, durring his service to royal family. When he was a normal slave, he had his mother, father (when he was still alive) and other slaves. Everyone worked together and supported each other in the darkest hours. When Azir made him his personal slave, his living conditions improved greatly but his unusualy close bond with a royal elevated him in the eyes of fellow slaves who didnt know how to treat him anymore - as one of their own, or as someone above them, not to mention the jealousy, while for free citizens and nobility he was still a mere slave and nothing more.

• He had other slaves working under him as for example his bodyguards, who he cared for and did everything he could to improve their living conditions, since he experienced the same life when he was younger. They were also an additional motivation for his plans of slavery abolishment.

• Xerath and other slaves serving the royal court members created an information net and that's how he knew the gossips better than Azir.

• That's how he learned that Azirs father truthy despises his last alive son - Emperor didnt keep his tongue behind the teeth around slaves who served him. Mistake.

• Xerath knew that Azir was really close with his mother. That's why he tried his best to make her infertile, soo that killing her wouldnt be nessesary. He failed and knew that Azir's assasination from that point on was just a matter of time. He chose his and Azir's lives over rest of royal family.

• Xerath risked his relationship with Azir constantly to make him realise that slaves are people with feelings and needs too. Azir took quite long to finally acknowledge that but even smallest progress in that matter made Xerath proud of him.

• Xerath probably didn't appreciate Azir sleeping with slave girls. After all they couldn't say know, but he couldn't stop Azir from doing this...

• Azir provided him with a great autonomy, mostly for executing his will, which sometimes gave Xerath seemingly greater power than some noble houses what annoyed literally everyone.

• Xerath's parents were his teachers and only people who he would ever call his family besides Azir. They planted the concept of freedom in his mind which stayed with him forever. Mental image of his parents, their unconditional love has been inseparably tied to concept of freedom. That turned family and freedom into highest values for him.

• That's also why Xerath turned 180° soo rapidly when Azir "officially abadoned" the freedom project. Azir was the only family ever since Xerath lost contact with his mother. By remminding Xerath that he is indeed, just a slave and not in fact his brother, he violated not only one but two of Xeraths highest values - freedom and familial bond.

• At first Xerath was a bit jealous of Azir's wife but knowing he could never compete with her for Azir's attention and conflict would mean Azir getting annoyed with him, they ended up on good terms. By this i mean of course ideal benelovent, kind master/docile, friendly slave relationship. After Azir "betrayed" Xerath, Xerath acted the same way towards her to not arouse suspicion but since he no longer believed Azir to be his brother, he no longer thought of her as his potential future family. (Azir's oldest official son was around 18 (close to adulthood) when the cataclysm happened soo he had to be married for at least 18 years, probably he got married before his final refusal to Xerath. Also, that would make them at least 36 years old at the time of Ascension.)

• Same for Azir's first son. At first he was happy for Azir, that his step-brother has a child, but after the fight, he didnt care anymore. Every next child just remminded him how priviledged they are, how horrible his childhood was and how many children are still being born to slavery while they lead idyllic and ignorant lives.

• Xerath wanted to steal the empire and impersonate Azir after Ascension in which he would make it look like he himself died.

• Xerath had access to Azir's Ascension ritual preperations. He gained as much information as he could about the mechanism of ascending and adjusted it to himself in order to gain as much power as possible in case his role-swap-by-assasination didnt work, he couldnt impersonate azir and had to actually force everyone to obey him despite his true identity (that would explain why his plan was "in motion" and why he "couldnt back down no matter how much part of him wanted to").

• After Azir fullfiled his promise Xerath knew that Baccai are a thing (it was probably common knowledge soo, duh) and was afraid that his personal adjustments would cripple Azir what would bring dishonor on him in the best case scenario and get him detronised/banished hopefully together with his family, court and Xerath, or kill him in the worst. If Azir died, his life would be over as well, since he made many enemies and Azir was the only person keeping him on the top - in position from which he could do anything. Without Azir, Xerath was nobody. And he couldn't tell Azir that he spiked his Ascension ritual and risk his rage. In this situation he could only utter "I'm sorry." and proceed with his plan wondering why Azir didnt tell him and carrying the confusion, guilt and anger for the rest of his life.

• By impulsively blasting Azir of daasis, Xerath made it very clear that he is sabotaging the ritual. That probably caused him to panic that Sun Priests will stop the ritual what would cause him to become either weak and crippled Baccai, die or just allow the soldiers to capture and execute him. With his magic he forced Priests to continue, desperately, for as long as he could. In fear of consequences and unaware of his surroundings he prolonged the ritual what drained the Disc, caused the shockwave, initiated the cataclysm, disintegrated his ascending body and turned him into unique, unstable, energetic being.

• Ascension ended with stasis in which he got lowered back to the ground, barely concious. Nasus and Renekton were already waiting for him with sarcophagus, ready to catch him. That explains why he didn't manage to react and got captured soo easily.

• In the tomb, Xerath and Renekton fought for days but when Renekton realised he is unable to kill Xerath and Xerath not really caring if Renekton dies or not, they found themselves their own corners where they sat alone with their demons, sometimes talking to each other when in desperate need of social interaction.

• Xerath is indeed the most powerfull Ascended in terms of raw power but his body is very unstable. He can literally kill himself by destabilisation from using too much of his magic.

• Soo many horrible things happened on the day of Ascension, that if he addmited that he was the one responsible for death of thousands, not only randoms and Azir but probably also many aquaintances of even friendsp, he would go complitely mad. He told himself the entire story over and over and over again, twisting it bit by bit every time to justify his actions and why all this bloodshed was nessesary in order to fool himself and subconciously protect his mind from insanity by blaming everything on Azir and his bloodline.

• He repressed the fact that he is a Baccai. He stays in denial soo that he wont have to acknowledge that despite all that hard work, he failed everyone, even himself and became fragile like glass. He stays in denial deluding himself that there is nothing wrong with him and hiding it from himself by prising his "flawless" ascended form, hoping that the problem will cease existing if he forgets about it.

• Xerath and Renekton probably learned how to fall into some form of stasis in order to loose conciousness and skip time because, as fucked up as they are, they are in really good shape as for people who have spent 36,000 times longer period of time than avarge recommended dose of isolation causing irreversible mental damage irl. (i think that riot kind of forgotten about them when making the timeline and now stasis is the only logical explanation for how well preserved their minds are.)

#league of legends #lol #lore #headcanon #headcannon #xerath #nasus #renekton #azir #xerath's past #owo #shurima

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itstheapocalypsebaby · 5 years

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TUA Power HCs Part 1!

Luther

Discovered them at age 3 (He was the first)

He accidentally broke one of their nannies fingers

Had trouble controlling his strength (still does)

For personal training Reginald first made him build up his body

Because just cause he had incredible strength, didnt mean his body could take said strength

He used to accidentally break his arms when he used too much strength

They always healed fast though

As if they never broke to begin with

Baby Luther used to hide the fact that he broke/sprained/bruised his arms, legs, basically any part of his body because he felt like a failure whenever he got hurt

Later in life (maybe at 10?) Reginald discovers that Luther not only is super strong but also had super endurance

(Special Training was not fun that year, Reginald wanted to see how long he could last without food, water, air, shelter, etc.)

After that year, special training was a mix between building up his strength (weight lifting heavier and heavier objects every week) and building up his endurance (running around the room carrying a crap ton of weights, carrying a really really heavy weight and Reginald seeing how long he could carry it before his body gave out)

Diego

They first discovered his ability to breathe underwater first

Diego unlike his sibling absolutely adored bath time as a child

He would stay in the tub for hours if he could

One time his nanny had to leave him in the tub because one of his siblings was having a tantrum

She comes back to a sleeping Diego

Who's asleep in the tub

submerged in water

Was lowkey jealous of his siblings' powers while growing up

Reginald was so disappointed in him for having such a "useless ability"

Poor baby took it into heart :(

Special Training was awful before he found out his secondary power

Reginald wanted to see how long Diego could last underwater (he discovers Diego could last an indefinite amount of time down there)

He stopped liking water after that

He finds out about his secondary power at age 6

He likes to help Grace in cooking and usually cuts up the vegetables for her

He gets really good with the knife

So when Reginald demands he learns to wield a weapon he immediately chooses the knife

At first its was all stabby stabby but then one of his siblings goads him enough to rashly throw the knife at them

His aim is perfect. The knife is sailing through the air, going exactly where he wants it to be, except he wanted it to be in their head and oh god Diego panics, he didnt mean to throw that knife he never meant to hurt his siblings and he loves them and -

The knife is sailing towards his sibling's head and then it suddenly curves

Diego runs up to his sibling and hugs them and apologizes

Diego never wanted to pick up a knife after that

But then through some persuasion (Allison), he forgets the incident and picks it up again

Special training is all about accuracy and precision. All about moving targets, really tiny targets, living targets

Reginald wanted to know how much he could curve, what could he curve and all that jazz

Diego learns Physics because its an absolute must

(He learns how hard he has to throw for it to curve that much, how fast it needs to be to keep in the air even after it curves, how heavy should the knife be if he wants this specific result)

At first its hard and because he can curve anything he likes through pure instinct why does he need to learn Math?

But Reginald wants him to be as accurate as possible

(He motivates Diego by putting Mom and his siblings in situations where one false error could lead to their deaths)

He learns physics quickly

(Five and him bond over physics, Five helps him, He helps Five until Five gets too advanced and well...)

He actually gets super good and can do equations on the fly

People are constantly surprised at the amount of math needed for his powers

Allison

as a kid had absolutely no control on when her powers would activate

it would activate all the time leading to a lot of accidents

one time she snapped at Klaus to stop talking and he couldnt speak until she was able to reverse it

Reginald decided the best way for her to control it was through trigger phrases

she went through a lot of them because it wasnt cool enough for her

there was "listen up", "somebody once told me" (someone always interrupted her, usually Klaus, with the world was gonna roll me so she dropped it after like 3 uses) and a bunch more before settling on the iconic™ "I heard a rumor'

early on she learned that she had to be very precise with the wording or else the rumor wouldnt turn out the way she wanted it to

so special training was mainly focused on her wording, her pronunciation, and her learning other languages

allison is fluent in italian, french, spanish, mandarin, filipino, somali, she also can speak in a bunch of other languages but isnt super fluent

allison was actually pretty ok with special training until she was 10

thats when reggie brought in actual real life people

until that point she had only rumored her siblings (reginald actively encouraged it as long as he wasnt the one who got rumored) and occasionally the businessmen who came over to talk deals and shit

reggie was smart and only brought in people he was sure no one would miss, homeless hobos, drug addicts, people who lived by themselves and didnt have much family or any family at all

at first few meetings, she could stomach the feeling of wrongness

it was still easy for her to reason that what she was doing wasnt really wrong after all the commands she was issuing were really mild (like i heard a rumor you stubbed your toe, i heard a rumor you could play the piano perfectly)

they were just testing the reach of her powers

(could it rewrite your brain? create illusions, hallucinations? make you gain talents you never had? make you feel things?)

(reginald already knew her rumors could affect the memory, no need to test that, same thing with if her rumors could affect herself)

but then the more they pushed the boundaries the darker the rumors, the harder it was to stomach this sense of wrongness that threatened to swallow her whole

(could it override survival instincts? could it fake relationships? could it wreck relationships? can the human mind take multiple rumors at once? how about multiple conflicting rumors? how many rumors does it take to break the mind?)

its a lot easier to deal with special training when you cant remember

(but in her dreams she cant forget, she wakes up screaming, absolutely terrified and cant remember why)

Klaus

at first thought everyone could see the ghosts

actually he thought they werent ghosts cos they didnt appear to him with their death injuries

realized they were dead people when he accidentally walked through them

at first the ghosts were ok (they were mostly the nannies vanya killed so they were nice) they were loud and sobbed really really loud all the time but they didnt actively seek him and so he didnt actively seek them either

he still didn't like his powers even back then when they werent as bad as they are now

since he didnt really have any interest in his powers, reginald forced him to use them more, to explore them

klaus really didn't want to talk to any ghost so Reginald locks klaus into the mausoleum for the first time

this is where everything goes to shit btw

Klaus is absolutely terrified because these ghosts arent like the ghosts in the mansion (the nannies)

these ghost were malicious and horrible and they were dead for so long that they lost any sense of self or humanity in them

this is where klaus develops his fear of the ghost and his powers

this is where klaus loses a grip on his powers and it causes horrible repercussions

he sees the way they died now

and it terrifies him even more

from ages 8 to 11 hes facing the full force of his powers whenever hes trapped in the mausoleum

every session his fear gets worse and worse

the ghosts appearance actually reflects on how he feels about them actually

thats why ben and dave dont look awful

and why the rest of the ghost do

klaus loves ben and dave

he's absolutely terrified of the rest of them

he discovers that drugs numb their abilities when one of them gets hurt badly during training and is on really heavy pain medication

maybe it Five who broke 5 ribs when sparring because luther forgot to control his strength

Five couldn't jump at all when he was on those meds and he hated it

but Klaus? the moment he put two and two together he jumped at the opportunity to temporarily get rid of his powers

he would purposely get super banged up during training just to get rid of his powers and it scared the living shit out of his siblings

they ask him to stop and he does, he doesnt like it when he scares his siblings

but the ghosts get too much and klaus is severely tempted to fuck himself up to get that sweet relief that the pain meds provide

he stumbles upon Reggies alcohol cabinet and discovers that while getting drunk doesnt exactly cut off his powers it gives him this buzz that makes it a lot more bearable

he discovers drugs when he sneaks out one night to get more booze

he starts off with weed and gets hooked

the ghosts are always worse after coming down so he scrambles to get high as soon as possible

he doesnt try anything harder until ben dies

after ben dies he spirals

TUA Power HCs Part 2 is coming up in a bit, ask me if you wanna get tagged for it :)

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indigopurple · 4 years

Text

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

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