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freedomfireflies · 3 months

Note

Soooo, do you wanna give me a Harry that gives Joe Goldberg vibes 🤪 please and thank you!

ALSJFS you know what, I'm on a Joe kick right now since reading the books...why don't we do a little crossover 😗 (but maybe if we want we can do one where Harry is Joe Goldberg hehe)

The edges of the cage are dark. Untouched by the cool, dim light of Mooney’s basement. Empty and cold.

But this does little to offend the man trapped inside, who sits back against the glass with his knees propped up. Staring at the floor, just as he has for the last three days.

He doesn’t mind the quiet. The endless nothing. He thrives in it. He spends each waking moment with the voice inside his head and you find yourself increasingly fascinated.

You’ve been watching him for hours as you sit in the shadows of the bookstore basement. Taking notes, counting seconds. You’re not sure if he can see you but you imagine he can feel your presence. Sense it. After all, he always can.

You don’t attempt to reach him. Speak to him. Call him back into his right mind. You want to but you can’t. Not when he’s like this. So, you merely observe. Learn.

He seems indifferent to the conditions he’s trapped in. He doesn’t flinch when you or Joe attempt to speak to him. He doesn’t bite when he’s baited. He doesn’t charge the edges of the cage or beg for his freedom. He’s a good guest. Obedient. Well behaved.

Everything you know him not to be.

Hours go by before Joe returns down the steps to join you below. Sandwich in hand, which he gives to you.

You thank him quietly and warily make your way into the light, allowing the familiar stranger a better look at your face.

“Here,” you call softly. You place the sandwich in the box and shut the door. “Eat. And then maybe we can talk.”

Your guest smirks. He’s not tempted by the meal trying to lure him out. He doesn’t move from his spot on the floor. He is calm. Steady.

Joe steps closer. “Harry,” he says firmly. “We can’t let you out until you talk to us.”

Harry lifts his head. He meets Joe’s eye, and then yours, and he’s more lucid than he has been in days. “And what if I don’t want to be let out?”

A question without a real answer. You study him and you wonder, not for the first time, who you’re really speaking to.

“Then we won’t,” you say. “Not until we're sure you aren’t gonna hurt anyone.”

Harry hums and rests his head back against the wall.

Joe looks down at you. “Ethan is bringing Blythe by tomorrow. She wants a tour of the basement, and he can’t be here.”

You nod and your heart jumps to your throat. “Harry said it shouldn’t be longer than three days.”

“Does he know that for sure?”

“I…I don’t know,” you admit. “Last time it wasn’t longer than a day and a half. But it’s different every time.”

Joe sighs and you feel your stomach sink.

You hate to see him like this. You hate to see them both like this. Harry insisted it was the only way—back when he was still your Harry—but now you’re not so sure.

You don’t like to leave him here for days at a time. You don’t like that you have to keep him from harming himself or others by locking him in a glass cage until the episode passes. You love him. He shouldn’t be in a goddamn cage. He should be with you.

You straighten your shoulders and dare to dance with the devil. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

Harry lifts a brow.

You nod toward the letters smeared in blood across the glass, just above Harry’s head. Miss me. He painted it hours ago. A cruel taunt. “Are you asking me…” you repeat. “…or telling me?”

Harry looks up as well. His smile returns, wicked and pleased, and he leans forward, resting his arms over his propped knees. “You tell me,” he says and Joe scoffs quietly.

You move closer to the wall and press your palm flat to the edge. Attempting to play on an emotional, weathering string. “You need to let him go,” you whisper, and you notice his expression fall. “This isn’t a game anymore. He can’t help you. Not in here.”

Harry—or rather, the dark presence inside his head—tsks. “Are you sure?”

You feel your pulse stutter while Joe murmurs, “Come on, let’s go. We can come back tomorrow. He’ll be better then.”

But you don’t move from your spot. Instead, you stare at the obvious wound on Harry’s leg. His source of ink for the ominous message. “I’ll need to clean that,” you say.

The darker Harry laughs. It’s a humorless laugh. Cold. Cunning. “What for? I can’t imagine it’ll help much.”

You frown. “I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for him.”

“And it would be a wasted effort. As is this.”

“I don’t think so.”

“No?”

You shake your head. “You try to win his favor every time,” you remind the creature. “You try to break him, try to bribe him. But when it’s all over, Harry will remain, and you will be nothing but a parasite inside his mind. Snuffed out like a flame.”

He leans back. Regarding you with what you could confuse with respect, but you know he’s not that generous. “And does he know the truth, little fox?”

You blink. “What truth?”

The dark, alter ego smiles. “Does your darling Harry know that when you look at him…you’re really thinking of me?”

The blood drains from your face and you step back.

“That when you fuck yourself…you imagine me?” He steadies his gaze and your insides twist. “That when you fuck him…it’s my name on your pretty tongue? Not his?”

You shake your head. “That’s ridiculous—”

“Is it?” He laughs again and it sends sharp chills down your spine. “Why else do you stay, little fox? Why else do you choose to be with a man you know has taken someone’s life with his own hands? Who’s dangerous enough to keep locked in a cage?”

You take another step back. “That wasn’t him. It was you—"

“Us,” he whispers, and the basement falls eerily silent. “We are one, him and I. My thoughts are his, and his are mine. Do you really believe I don’t know what he thinks of you?”

“Stop—”

“He tries. I know he tries but he’ll never know how to treat you the way I do,” the darker voice purrs. “The night on the roof. When he fucked you and you saw two kinds of stars that night. It wasn’t his cock you were riding, little fox—”

“Stop—”

“It was mine.” He smirks. “And you knew it. Didn’t you? Knew who you were really coming for and instead of trying to save your sweet, little boyfriend…you begged me to fuck you again. Isn’t that right—”

Joe grabs your arm and begins to lead you toward the stairs. “Fuck this. Let’s go—”

“Bet you wanna fuck me now, don’t you?” continues the cruel taunt. “Why don’t you, hm? Why don’t you unlock the door and I’ll let him watch. I’ll let them both watch—"

You aren’t afforded the chance to answer as you’re dragged out of the soundproof basement, but his laugh follows you all the way up.

Your ears are ringing and your hands are trembling and the worst part is…you know he’s right. Maybe there is a part of you that’s attracted to the darker parts of the same man you already know. And maybe…you don’t mind. Because is it really cheating if he’s not real?

The question follows you all the way home and into bed that night. You know better than to tempt fate. To entertain the idea and allow yourself to wonder what it would be like. The whole point of keeping Harry in the cage during an episode is to keep him from harming himself or others. So that one day, there won’t be another voice inside his head. It’ll just be…him.

It would defeat the purpose to make friends with the enemy. And you imagine it would be rather hard to explain to the real Harry if he ever found out how you felt about his darker and far more sadistic alter ego.

Which is why you find it quite odd that you’ve returned to Mooney’s bookstore and crept your way down to the cage, key in hand.

He, however…is not surprised in the slightest.

“Welcome back, little fox,” he calls, hands pressed to the glass.

You swallow.

He grins.

“Miss me?”

Yes this was inspired by Void Stiles...Void Styles *slaps knee* and I need all three of these men biblically thank you goodnight!!!

Also I actually would totally do a part 2 where Harry is cray cray for real HAHAH

~ Main Masterlist

Taglist (I'm so sorry if this isn't something you wanted to be tagged in, it is a lot weirder HAHAH): @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282 @lukesaprince @closureesny @lc-fics @0nlythrowharrybeaux @hannahdressedasabanana @iguessyourejustwhatineeded @dylanobandposts21 @butdaddyilovehim-hs @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

#harry #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan #harry styles smut #harry edward styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles request #harry styles one shot #joe #joe goldberg #joe goldberg x reader #joe goldberg x you #joe goldberg blurb #harry styles x joe goldberg #harry and little fox

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serotonins-stuff · 5 months

Text

Nsfw | mdni

Out of all the people he could've fallen for, Nanami never expected to fall for the cute barista at his favorite coffee shop.

He was in line, tapping impatiently on his watch as he looked up at the board for any specials. To his surprise, there were none, which meant he'd have to order just a basic coffee for himself and strawberry milk for Gojo.

When the person if from of him was done ordering he moved forward and looked to his side to pull out his wallet.

"Hey, welcome to Mooneys, what can I get for you?" An unfamiliar voice greeted him. He was alarmed but didn't let it show off his face, though he couldn't keep it up for longer when he looked up, his eyes widening at the gorgeous woman in front of him.

The smile on your face was bright, bright enough to light up a whole room to be precise. Your uniform was neat and he could just from the way you carried yourself that you spend a good amount of effort on your appearance. He was forever grateful for the glasses he wore because that meant you weren't able to notice him ogling at you the entire time. He cleared his throat before muttering his order, watching as you typed away on the computer before swiping his card to pay. You handed him a slip before picking up two cups from under the counter.

"What's your name?" You asked innocently, holding a cup in your hand and a marker in the other. Nanami easily towered over you, so it was only natural that you had to look up at him. Your gaze only further worsened his delusions, making it slightly harder for him to think rationally.

"Kento," he said, straightening his glasses with his index finger.

"That's a pretty name" you smiled, before writing onto the cup and twirling towards the coffee machine, leaving Nanami with a swarm of butterflies in his stomach from the compliment. His fists were clenched at his sides as he Gingerly walked over to the area where he would collect his drink.

You were focused, your hands swiftly moving around with nothing but purpose. It was clear that you had done this many times before from the way you didn't hesitate and Nanami wasn't going to lie to himself and say that wasn't attractive.

A hand was placed on his shoulder and he rolled his eyes in annoyance before his white-haired idiot of a coworker spoke.

"Y'now Nanami, you could always just ask for her number" Gojo teased.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" he lied, throwing the annoying hand off of his shoulder.

"Her name is y/n by the way" Gojo chimed, eyeing Nanami for any sort of reaction.

That's a lovely name, he thought, but how would Gojo know that?

He was going to ask but then stopped himself, realizing that if he seemed curious about you that

would only raise more suspicion.

"That's irrelevant"

"Kento?" Your sweet voice called to him and instantly his head shot in that direction.

That gave him away, and Gojo snickered behind him, a devilish grin making its way onto his face.

He walked forward stiffly and you handed him the drinks, to which he gladly accepted. His hands brushed yours and he held his breath to keep his emotions under control. However, that did nothing but make his face red enough to put a firetruck to shame.

"Are you alright?" You asked with genuine concern.

"Yes, my suit is just tight" he said in almost a strained voice.

Your hands reached out towards him and brushed his neck. At this point, the butterflies in his stomach went directly to his lower region, and he couldn't help but look away in embarrassment when you loosened his tie and undid the first button of his dress shirt. He could only hope that you wouldn't be able to notice the sudden boner that had decided to join him.

The last thing you wanted was for a customer to faint while you were on the job, so it was only necessary you relieve him of his confinement as he was already carrying two drinks.

"There you go," you said radiantly "Have a nice day Kento“

Kento just stood there without saying a word, his lips pressed into a fine line. All he could do was stare at you through his glasses as you looked up at him with a worried expression.

"He's just had a long day at work!" Gojo said with a smile, putting his hands on Nanami's shoulders and leading him out of the cafe. You waved at the goodbye and Gojo enthusiastically waved back, focused on hurridly getting his friend out of there before he said some stupid shit.

Nanami was starting to sweat now and he had no idea why. Until he heard Gojo laughing hysterically while pointing toward his lower region.

"You might wanna cover that up Nanami" He laughed, wiping the happy tears that were coming out of his eyes. "Wouldn't wanna give the curses a show now would you?"

Low and behold the very noticeable bulge poking through Nanamis pants.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance before handing Gojo his drink roughly and taking off his blazer. He was just going to hold the material against his stomach so it would at least cover him up enough for him to deal with when he got home.

This was going to be a long day.

• • • • •

He was tired from having to fight curse all day. He just wanted the day to end so he could go home and relieve his stress, and now that he had finished his duties for the day, he had never felt better.

He stood in the shower, water flowing down his sculpted body as he scrubbed off any dirt left. He tried his best to ignore the throbbing of his lower region, first focusing on getting himself clean.

It was amusing really, how he just couldn't stop thinking about you when you probably had a boyfriend at home. He hoped that wasn't the case because he found himself a bit too interested with no clue why. Pictures of your face flooded his mind and he imagined your lips. How soft they'd feel wrapped around his thick cock as you sucked him off.

He imagined all the sounds you'd make. Begging and asking him to fuck you.

Shit.

He'd completely lost control, pumping his cock steadily with his dominant hand while the other one rested on the shower wall, gripping the tile intensely as more dirty images clouded his thoughts.

This was wrong, he couldn't-no shouldn't be thinking about you like this but he couldn't help it. He groaned as his hips moved forward, slapping noises echoing through the bathroom as he rutted his hips into his hand. It felt too good, the twitching of his veiny cock around his palm. He was able to feel every vein and the curve of his tip while he worked himself steadily.

"Just look at what you do to me-" he let out in a hushed whisper "-Y/n"

His phone had started ringing but he just ignored it, focusing on the good feeling of rubbing himself. Till it started to disturb his thoughts and his arousal started to slip away. With annoyance he stomped over to the bedroom and answered it, trying as hard as he could to control his breathing.

"Kento?" The voice said from the other side of the line. In an instant his dick swelled even more, throbbing from arousal at the sweet sound of your voice. "You uh- left your wallet earlier.."

"Oh-uh I'm sorry about that" he breathed, his hand resting right above his stomach as he refrained from touching himself any further. "How did you find my number?"

"Well your number was on our system because you ordered from your phone, so I decided to write it down so I could call you just to let you know. I also didn't call earlier because you looked busy, but-"

If he was being honest he stopped listening halfway through, somehow his hand was on his dick again. Rubbing it back and forth as you continued rambling about something. Every stroke felt euphoric, and the sound of your voice did nothing but make it much more pleasurable for him to indulge in.

"Shit" he moaned softly, low enough so you would be able to hear him.

"Are you alright?" You inquired "You sound out of breath"

"I just finished some really uh-" he stopped for a moment, thinking of a good excuse "Intense exercise?"

He needed you to continue talking, at least until he came, and maybe you could talk to him before he went to sleep too.

"Oh in that case there's this really good drink that helps when exercising-" There you were again, rambling adorably about something.

He went faster, a foreign feeling bubbling from within his stomach.

He badly wanted to scream your name when he came but that was too risky. Soon his orgasm shot throughout his body and he had to bury his face in the covers of his bed so you wouldn't be able to hear. Thick ropes of his cum stained his hand, and his toes curled from every overstimulating thrust.

He felt ashamed, utterly disgusted in himself for committing such an act.

"Will you be coming by tomorrow?" You asked, snapping him out of his trance.

"Yes I"ll be there to fetch my wallet tomorrow" he panted, a small smile crossing his features when he thought about seeing you again.

"Look forward to seeing you Kento" you laughed

"Likewise"

𝗲𝗻𝗱

• • • • • •

So we'll be reaching 400 followers soon my lil stuffies :)

Exams are almost over so here's a lil something

#jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu gojo #jjk nanami #kento nanami #nanami x reader #nanami smut

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perpetuallydaydreaming · 1 year

Text

ghost of a smile.

sirius said, “you fall in love with anything with a pulse.” so naturally james proves him wrong.

tags: james potter x reader,, they/them pronouns,, you’re a ghost,, sirius is vv protective of james,, wolfstar (it wasn’t supposed to be but then when i kept writing it just felt right),, crack,, age gap(???),, magical inter-racial relationships(???)

“prongs, it’s a fuckin’ ghost.”

“i love them.”

“it’s a ghost!” sirius punctuated the sentence by grabbing james by the shoulders and literally shaking him to sanity. but proved to be futile as the messy haired man clicks his tongue and shrugs off sirius’ hand as if it offended him.

“i know that, and my feelings won’t change. they make me feel alive.”

sirius groans, oh the irony, eyes wild in disbelief and turning to the rest, hopefully as exasperated and bewildered as he is. the look on his face as if saying, can you believe this guy?!

peter still looks disturbed and mooney looks like he’s trying to understand what james’ thought process was.

but that’s the thing. there is no thought. that’s why they’re in this situation in the first place. sirius likes to think there is no sane person to fancy an incorporeal being. much less, ugh, love them.

but leave it to james to prove him wrong. sirius almost laughs at the absurdity of it all.

“i know you like to go above and beyond expectations. but when i said you can fall in love with anything with a pulse, i didn’t mean for it to be a challenge.”

you cleared your throat, “i’m guessing this isn’t the best time.” you interjected sheepishly. hovering just a little above the floor. sirius thinks you almost look like a normal student. if normal students were translucent and dead.

when nobody said anything, but gave sheepish (remus and peter), worried (james) and judging (sirius) looks.

“i should just go and let you gentlemen talk things through. i’ll see you later james.”

“no don’t go,” he pouted. actually pouted! the love sick fool. “i’ll come with you.”

you shook your head, translucent hair swaying with the movement. “no it’s alright, you can stay and talk with your friends.” you smiled.

you gave him an encouraging nudge, or so to speak, since he can’t really feel you. because, again—dead.

james just nodded, and like a puppy, stayed.

once you were gone, remus was the first to speak,

“james, i think what sirius is trying to say here is how did this even happen?” remus asks softly, scratching his cheek, like he does when the puzzle he’s solving isn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

james sighs, he actually sighs like a besotted maiden, “i was— just a lost soul,” sirius blanched. “—wandering on this earth and then i met them, my beautiful love.”

“that isn’t the only lost soul that day, i bet.” sirius scoffs.

completely ignoring sirius now, james continues, “and then it just feels like everything clicked into place. they were always there when i needed someone to talk to. they were always so warm and kind. they always listened to me, they don’t make fun of my feelings. they don’t disregard them. they’re so beautiful and so smart. they’re crazy smart, knows a lot of things about history and all. you two would get along well, mooney.”

“they should know about history considering they died in it.” sirius hiss out but ultimately ignored.

“but james…” remus starts, and sirius almost sighs in relief at least somebody was also using their brain.

but then james interrupts, “i know they’re a ghost, and there’s not much else i can do about that. but remus, i can feel them. when we talk, i know they understand me and i don’t think i’ve ever felt this way about someone before.”

sirius rolls his eyes, having heard a similar speech when james said he fell in love with the store clerk in a muggle record shop in london.

sirius wanted so badly to scream out louder, in hopes to wake his friend from his delusion.

james clearly isn’t sound of mind right now. and it’s his duty as his best mate to help him. with the help of remus, they can do it. so he took the first step.

“james—“

“i think that’s beautiful james.” remus cut in.

sirius have never felt so betrayed in his life. and by remus of all people. and his face made sure to show this betrayal. lips curling into a horrified gape, eyes in a frenzy of rage.

remus clicks his tongue at him and covers his face with his large warm hand.

“thank you remus.” his crazy friend gave his crazier friend a lopsided smile.

hells, he was even blushing.

“are you fucking serious right now remus? they’re dead!” he shouted, muffled by remus’ hand.

remus ignored him turning to a now frowning james, “why don’t you go ahead and catch up with them while i talk to sirius quickly.”

james gave sirius a brief look and nodded. walking back, searching for the poltergeist in the castle.

“what’s wrong with you?!” remus hissed once james was out of sight.

sirius removing the hand on his mouth, growling as he says, “me?! i’m not the one getting it on with a soul, remus. what you’re okay with this?”

“yes,” remus gave a noncommittal shrug, “i’d be okay with it even if you were the one totally enamoured by a ghost.”

sirius gave him a dead look, “you’d be okay with your boyfriend in love with a ghost.”

remus rolls his eyes, a light dust of pink glowing on his cheeks and ears, “not like that, i just mean if the situation was different, you’d want somebody to support you. besides, it’s james, i’m sure this is all harmless.”

“harmless?! am i really the only thinking this is down right strange? i mean it’s a spirit for merlin’s sake! i know my family isn’t exactly picky with their romantic counterparts, fucking cousins and all, so i might not be the best person to defend my case. but this is a dead thing! a ghost. haunting hogwarts. that has to cross some boundary, right?”

remus softly groaning in frustration, “do you think i don’t know that? of course i think this is crazy! but what else could we do? when has james ever listened to us? especially with his penchant for following skirts.”

“and the occasional pants.” peter added with a shrug.

“it’s even crazier that you agree with me but is still willing to let this go on?!”

“if it’s anything like his previous escapades then i’m sure this won’t last as long.” remus sighs, rubbing his neck and stretching his neck.

“ultimately, let him make a fool of himself then. great idea.”

“i think we should trust james more,” peter shrugged, “i mean i’ve seen more weird pairings than a wizard and a ghost. my neighbour’s first boyfriend was a goblin, you know.”

remus lifts his hand to peter, as if to say, see? peter gets it!

“et tu peter?” sirius deadpanned. “traitors. both of you.” turning away as he swiftly walks away from the group.

“what did i do?” peter calls out to him.

“you, especially were no help!” sirius shouted back. his huffs and angry steps echoing in the stone castle.

if they weren’t going to stop james from being barmy then it’s up to him to stop this from going further.

it was a week later and james was still dating the damn ghost. he was even off celebrating some obscure couple holiday. maybe it was your death anniversary, who knows. sweet circe, james is down bad.

sirius slammed a thick dusty old book in the quiet corner of the library.

madam pince already looking over to them aggressively hushing the group.

remus immediately called out a flustered apology before turning to sirius to whisper.

“what is that?”

with smug grin and a hand on his narrow hips, “this, my sweet mooney, is the answer to our haunting problem.”

an ancient, dusty, dirty book that was practically falling apart titled, polly’s practical practices to the paranormal and poltergeists.

“i told you to leave it.” remus clicking his tongue and glaring at the overly smug man.

peter gingerly grabbed the book and started to comb through the pages. “how is this going to help?”

“go to page 189, it talks about exorcisms.” leaning over peter’s shoulders.

“you’re going to exorcist james’ lover?” the tone remus used was full of judgment and condensation. and sirius does not welcome that energy into his space. so, he rolls his eyes and crosses his arms— ready to shut down the negative energy.

“it also says on page 7 that ghosts are simply souls that are unable to cross through the spiritual realm. so if anything, i’m doing them a favour.”

peter chewing his lip in contemplation. “shouldn’t we tell james about this first?”

“james is biased, therefore his opinion is invalid.”

remus leaning back into his seat in a slump, “james is a grown man. he can decide for himself what he wants to do in his free time, even if that includes hanging around with a ghost all day.”

sirius feels a twitch in his eye coming. remus for every ounce of his prettiness, equates that to his stubbornness. so you can just imagine how stubborn this man is when he wants to be.

“babe,” sirius groans out, “i don’t understand how you can just let james make a fool of himself like this!—“ there’s a distinct shushing sound, and sirius looks over to sheepishly nod in apology, continuing in a much lower but just as aggressive tone, “he’s dating a fucking ghost, and i’m going to stop it, okay?”

remus levelled him with a glare. “have you even tried getting to know them?”

“the ghost?”

remus levels him with a stare, “they have a name.”

“whatever.” sirius scoffs before straightening up and looking at two of his friends betrayal dawning on his face, “don’t tell m—“

“i’ve gotten to know them very well actually, peter has too. hung out multiple times now.”

“you have? since when? how? why didn’t you tell me?”

peter, closing the book softly, “since james told us, they’re actually pretty cool. not as mental as the other ghosts for one.”

sirius gawks, the familiar sting of disappointment and betrayal brewing in his navel. “and you didn’t think to inform me of this development?!”

“mr. black, please leave the premises if you can’t keep the decorum expected in the library!”

“—sorry!” sirius calls back, before turning back to them, whispering harshly, “some friends you are.” swiftly grabbing the book back.

“someone has to be since you’ve refused to talk to james.”

“because he’s gone crazy, i don’t talk to crazy people— already had enough of that from my mother.”

remus now reaching for the book and reading the table of contents, “how do you even know if this book is accurate?”

sirius rolls his eyes, “it’s the only book left about ghosts,”

remus raised an eyebrow at that, “the only book left? or you just don’t know where to look?”

peter snickered. “considering this is the longest time he’s been in the library for the last six years, i’m guessing he doesn’t even have a library card.”

sirius let out a quiet gasp, petulant as he defends, “this is not the longest time, i know where the sections are.”

“right. well good luck on whatever it is you’re planning. if i wasn’t clear enough— i want no part of this whatsoever, assuming it all blows up in your face.” remus raising a scarred hand in the air and sauntering away.

sirius clicks his tongue, annoyed, “peter, hand me some parchment. i need to make notes about cleansing haunted areas.”

sirius already has a solid plan. he had thought of everything! he’s already practiced the ceremony in the dorms, with peter acting like the ghost. he even practiced drawing the runes and the enunciation of the incantations. he just needs to know where you usually reside in the castle, so he can draw the runes.

the only problem is, he doesn’t know where you are and what better way to know than from romeo, himself.

“james,” sirius calls out.

“here we go.” he hears peter wince, but resolutely ignoring him.

taking a deep breath, “i want to apologize for the way i acted, you deserve to be happy. and if they make you as happy as you say they do, then okay. as your best mate, i’m going to be more supportive of you.”

james, like a big softie that he is, immediately beamed a smile, grabbing sirius by the shoulders and crushing him into a hug.

“i knew you’d come around!” he gushed in his ear. sounding so utterly elated that he almost feels guilty for lying. but he has to do this. for james. “sirius you’re my brother! of course, i forgive you! i don’t think i can even go on for longer not speaking to you. bugged me like mad.”

remus all but looked at sirius in complete suspicion, which he ignores in favour of looking as earnest as he possibly could. peter looking down right nervous as his gaze filters through all three of them.

“to prove my support. i want to meet y/n and be their friend. get to know them a little bit better.”

and if it was even possible, james shone even brighter, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling in excitement. he hadn’t seen that look on his face for quite some time now. looking equivocally happy.

“let’s go right now!”

“now?!”

“yeah, they should be on the third floor.” james grinned. walking a brisk pace and everyone jogging to keep up.

“what are you doing?” remus whispered as he power walked beside him.

sirius feigned innocence, “i’m supporting my best mate.”

remus frowned, not buying it, “and this is after you exorcise them or? or do you plan on damning their soul now?”

sirius clicked his tongue, “you told me to support james and when i do, you doubt me. it’s like you don’t love me.”

“you better be supporting james or i swear to god—“

“so james!” looking ahead, resolutely ignoring the stare burning to the side of his face. “anything i should know before meeting this special apparition of yours?”sirius says, lips stretching into an easy smile.

james slowed his pace, perfectly chirpy to divulge any information about his lover. glowing pink on his cheeks as he starts, “well, they’ve been a ghost in hogwarts since 1902, they were sorted in—“

“do you know how they died?” sirius cut off. resulting in a rude elbow jab from remus and a small frown from peter.

“what?” he said indignantly. isn’t that a vital question to ask? asking how a ghost died?

“they said there was an incident, an ogre got into the castle and, um, killed them,”

yikes.

the book said ghosts may not know how they died. associating their willingness to pass because they haven’t had the closure to move on. though if you knew how you died, it seems counter-productive to tell you about your death in order for you to pass on. so that’s crossed out.

“so are they secretly disembowelled or something? like almost-headless nick?”

james looked back and pursed his lips, gaze turning a little bit sharper, “no, they look perfectly okay. beautiful even.”

oh sure, he thought.

“they do,” remus piped up giving him a stern look. as if he heard him, “very pretty.”

sirius rolls his eyes, “oh of course, puts veela’s to shame, i’m sure.” waving his hand, opting for nonchalance as he continues, “so, what do you usually talk about with them then? surely common interests with an old ghost is hard to find.”

“they’re actually quite young compared to the other ghosts. that’s why they mostly keep to themselves on this floor.”

sirius grimace, fighting a shiver down his spine. “yes being over sixty. very young.”

james glared at him, and he raised his arms in surrender, “just joking.”

“—we talk about a lot of things, quidditch is one.”

“quidditch.” he repeated. do ghosts even follow the leagues?

remus placing an arm around james, “they used to play quidditch, a chaser.”

“quite good too, found their name on past rosters in the library.” peter grinned.

james beamed, encouraged by the others to prattle on. louder and faster like he can’t help but talk about you. like he was just waiting for a reason to. “and they liked potions, helps me study sometimes—“

“study.” he repeated. “with your ghost lover.”

“—oh, we’re here! my love?” james calling out into the alcoves and the barren hall. “i bought my friends, are you here?”

and then like a chill going up his spine, you showed up. floating a hair just above the ground, making it look like as if you’re walking.

you were a pale translucent thing. he had hardly looked at you the first time he’s seen you. confidently thinking he didn’t have to until james inevitably moves on from you. frankly, he didn’t know what to expect once he saw you, again. maybe look a bit alive, since his very much alive friend is very much in love with you.

you looked pretty, sure. but it was nothing to write home about. certainly not the kind that he would be willing to overlook the state of your mortality. but yeah, sure, pretty.

he almost wants to rolls his eyes.

“james, i was going to look for you.” you breathed. looking equally enamoured.

“what for my love?” he asks.

then you noticed the other approaching individuals, “oh hello, remus, peter, and—?“

“this is sirius, remember? i told you about him, didn’t i?” james but all grinned, going up to you and raising his hand as if to touch you. if he even can.

you looked like thin sheets blowing in the wind. if thin sheets can talk and haunt.

“that you did.” you laughed, and then your hand started to look fuckin’ solid. like a solid, human hand grabbing james’ and even squeezing back.

“nice to see you again, y/n, how have you been?” peter smiled.

you shrugged, smiling a little strained. “still very much dead, and here. thanks.”

sirius looked at your joined hands. tight and secure.

remus nudges him out of stupor and he flashes a strained smile.

so you can materialize. at least that answers some questions. though it opens a new array of questions for him now. questions he has no problem vocalizing.

“you can materialize?”

you turn to him, looking beyond nonchalant and relaxed with the whole situation. you obviously also hold no objections to the peculiar relationship. looking all too willing to be james’ dead lover.

“if i try hard enough, yes.”

“how long can you materialize?”

“if it’s just my hands, i can probably hold for a good hour or so.”

the book didn’t mention this.

sirius looks at you, up and down, apprehensive and suspicious. “can every ghost do this then?”

“i think so, though i haven’t seen them attempt it. i’m guessing they never really had any reason to.” you turn to james and grin at him. like some secret was just shared.

james looked at you twice as bright and giddy. hopelessly, happy and pink.

sirius thinks he’s going to hurl.

“so, do you just go materializing your hand, touching school boys every decade or so?”

“pardon?”

“sirius!” remus hissed.

sirius smiles the fakest smile he has, “just a joke.”

you raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t comment. he can feel the heat of james glare and hear the insistent shuffling of peter to his side.

“why did you decide to date james? are you planning on possessing him for his living body?”

“sirius black!” remus grits out, pinching his side.

james stepped forward to shield you, a frown deep in his face, but you just tug at his arm, and he softens.

you laugh, “no, i don’t plan on possessing my boyfriend. as for why i’m dating him,” you turn to look at james again, sharing a secret smile again, “well, i quite like him.”

sirius clicks his tongue.

the night continued on. he asked questions, and you answered them.

he would be, admittedly, very difficult. maybe even down-right rude but you seem to assimilate to his attitude soon enough.

every jab and attack he would aim at you. you would receive with grace and an amused ghost smile.

eventually james wanted some alone time and sirius was just glad for a reason to finally leave.

“you know you could have been a bit nicer or at least decent to y/n.” remus hissed once james and casper went away.

“oh trust me, that was me being nice.” he scoffs.

“asking insensitive questions is not nice, last i checked.” peter said.

shaking his head, “i could have said it was fucking creepy that james is fucking dating a ghost. or maybe tell james he needs to make an appointment with a mind healer soon —that his impulsivity with the concept of “falling in love” is all twisted and, let’s face it, short-lived— pun-intended. i could write to fleamont that his son is fracking with a soul trapped in hogwarts! but i didn’t. trust me that was being nice.” he all but shouted, panting as his face blotched red.

“finally dropping your supporting your best mate agenda then, are you?”

sirius turns to remus, huffing and beyond betrayed, “have you not been listening?!”

remus clicks his tongue, “i understand, but it’s just as you said. all of this is short-lived that will eventually die out. so why bother stressing about it? y/n is a pretty cool spirit if you get to know them.”

“it’s a spirit from the 1900, what else is there to know?”

“you are a real piece of work.” remus giving him a hard glare, pulling at his fringe hard.

peter all quiet and mousy said, “i don’t even know why you’re so worked up about all this.”

sirius groans, “the reason why i’m so worked up about all this is, because it is james, we all know how he is. this is going to be another repeat of him falling for somebody, getting his hopes up and fall face down on the ground. and i’ve seen him fall way too many times to let it happen again. it’s a fucking ghost. there is no future with them. james doesn’t see reason, so it’s up to us to help him.”

remus blinked, and then sagged.

“i get it, okay? i get where you’re coming from. but i think out of everyone here, james is the one that understands this the most. just trust him on this. he’s not daft, he knows what he’s doing.”

“but what if he gets hurt again?”

“then we’ll be there for him.”

you can still somewhat hear them argue in the empty halls. you were sure james can too, if his frown was anything to go by.

“sirius is… lovely.” you hummed.

james groans, pulling you to to sit with him on one of the benches. “i’m so sorry about that, he’s just—“

you raise hand to stop his blabber, “i completely understand, he’s protective of you. i feel the same way.” you whispered.

james looks at you abashed and pink, before he looks away. still, rubbing his thumb to your knuckles even as it slowly becomes faint and pale, once again.

“he’ll warm up to you soon,” he nodded.

you smiled, “should i be worried if he doesn’t?”

he turns to you again, looking at you completely besotted, “you shouldn’t, he’ll like you.”

“you sound sure.”

“because i know him, and i know you. you are, after all, the most charming ghost in the castle.” he grins.

“what a title,” you softly sighed.

“just give him time,”

suddenly you’ve been reminded why you wanted to meet with him. you felt the phantom rhythm of your dead heart thrum through your veins. nervous after so many decades, funny.

“i’ve been reading, lately.”

“oh? about what?” he grins at you, cheeks a healthy glow of life and eyes bright like the light in the morning.

you almost falter, but thank merlin you don’t.

you were sure you wouldn’t be able to tell him if you postponed any more.

“about… leaving.”

“leaving?” he straightened. “what do you mean?”

you flowed to the other side of the room, higher than you would usually go, whenever you were with him. wanting to keep the illusion of normalcy of walking with him. like you were still alive. like a normal student with their boyfriend.

“i’ve been researching about this for a while, even before you came here—hogwarts, i mean, and i think i’ve found some sort of break through. this is what i wanted to talk to you about before— before meeting sirius and all that.”

“what like leaving the castle grounds? or—“ he gulps, looking absolutely terrified. “or leaving?”

you know he was smart enough to answer his own questions. but you also considered he would be in denial, unabashedly hopeful, so you clarified. “about passing on. leaving, for good. i’ve already talked to some other spirits in the castle, who wants to go too and some have already agreed.”

“but don’t you—“ james licked his lips, shifting one foot to the other, “don’t you want to stay with me?”

your chest is hollow, nay, non-existent. but the way he looks at you, his voice, and his warm hand reaching out to you, made you think your chest might be aching with pain.

for all your years in purgatory, haunting and never moving on. all these years of weaving through the halls, seeing different faces every year, it all seemed so short.

and the stretch of your time comprising of moments of when james potter was seeking you out. talking to you. making a companion out of you. and being with you. making you feel alive again.

he was young, bright, and callous, and rough. but he is also sweet, soft, and kind.

you knew from the start, this would never last.

you knew, like everyone else, that he’ll eventually leave too.

there was no life with you. that ended decades ago.

but he still has time.

“james,” you softly called out, floating over to him. thinking long and hard to be corporeal. even if it’s just your hands, so you could touch him.

“don’t.“ he looks down, biting down on his lips, refusing to look at you now. but he did nothing to move away from your hold, he never did, instead lifting his own to touch yours, soft yet firm. “don’t tell me some bull about living my life.”

you sigh, lifting his head to see his ever beautiful eyes, “but you have to.”

he softly shook his head in your hands, his grip tightening afraid to let go. “and i want to spend every moment i can with you,”

“and then what?” you ask.

he stops, his gaze moving all around your face, as if memorizing it to the fullest extent.

“i’m to stay now, and then you leave, and then i stay here? forever?”

he shook his head, pouting like kid, and you always endeared.

“i could get a job here and live here all year long, you can stay in my quarters where we can talk and be toge—“

you laugh letting him go, your hands turning translucent like before, like always. “there is no life with me, james. we’ve talked about this.” you look at him. you see his lip harshly bit down, gnawing, as he pulled to release the blood.

“you know this.“

james turns away from you. scratching his neck, his eyebrows furrowed. like the first time you saw him in the halls. after another failed attempt at wooing birds.

“i know.” he conceded. “i’ve been reading too. i’ve checked out books on how you can pass on. i think i’ve checked out every damn book about ghosts in the library.” he laughs bitterly.

you didn’t know this. he didn’t tell you. somehow that made the pain in your chest clench more. you always thought he would be against you leaving. something on your face must’ve shown this because he clarifies, before looking down again.

“i thought that if— i was the one to find the solution, find the way for you to move on, it wouldn’t feel— it wouldn’t hurt. i thought if it was on my own terms, i would be able to accept it easily. but i’m wrong, of course. it wouldn’t be that simple. especially not with you. with us.”

“you were looking for a way for me to pass on?” you ask gently, stopping low to catch his gaze.

he looked as earnest like the day you met him, nodding as he said, “because i know how miserable you felt. i know you—you don’t have enough reason to stay here any longer than you have. i know us, being together, isn’t reason enough for you to be stuck here for all eternity. i know this, but i was still hoping—”

“oh james,” you sighed.

“some irrational part of my brain wants you stay. i even thought of being with you here too. be with you after—“

“james potter.” you sharply cut in, gaze hardening in anger. but his gaze of despair made you soft and sigh again.

“i will not let you.”

you think of all the ghost trapped in the castle. you see them through the years, losing all sense of themselves more and more. becoming irate and miserable. seeing the same grounds, the same routines, the same days, mashing together in an endless cycle. never moving forward.

and then you see his eyes so full of love, and life, and bravery, and sweetness and roughness. even just thinking he might succumb to the cycle—

“i will not let you.” you repeated.

james reached out again, “i love you,”

you smiled at him, the faux fuzziness spreading down to your phantom toes. “you’ll find someone else to love james. someone who can spend more years of life with you, with so much love to give, i have no doubt about it.”

you think back to the boy crying with a broken rose in the halls, another heartache. the bright eyed look you see him give the person he’s chosen to love that day. another love. always so earnest, always with so much love that he has to give it to someone else.

you brush over his soft cheeks, committed to feeling him for the last time.

“do you—“ he breathed, leaning into your touch and bashfully looking down, “do you think i could see you on the other side?”

you gave a loop-sided smile, seriously how utterly charming, you thought. “i would like to think so. i can even greet you myself once you arrive if you’d like.”

he looks up at you, giving you a pretty smile, “yeah, okay.”

you didn’t leave immediately. you waited for another week.

james drew the runes for you, with sirius eagerly helping. you spent your last days, exploring the hidden parts of the castle with james, showing him all the secret passages you’ve come across. you spent your last day with james talking. taking in a full-body corporeal form and hugging him for the first time. and kissing him.

you left quietly, in the night when he was asleep.

he looked for you in the halls, the next morning, hoping you’d change your mind.

when you didn’t show after an hour, he left—blinking the embarrassing tears collecting in his eyes.

eventually though, james will move on. he doesn’t quite understand true love all that well yet. he’ll still mistake other feelings for love. maybe fall quickly. maybe love more than one person at the same time. eventually, he’ll fall in love, for real this time, find someone else to give his seemingly endless amount of love to and it’ll be returned ten-fold.

or at least it’s what sirius says to remus and peter. after remus reprimanded him for being too happy that you were gone.

extra:

later, when james opens the door on that halloween night. the living room glowing bright with green and the echoes of his son’s cries and his wife’s fast stomps upstairs. he would close his eyes in a swift end. thinking how peaceful it is, how quick— his face graced with a ghost of a smile, he would think of you, and hope you’re waiting on the other side.

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darylthekidd · 11 months

Text

i don't care much for dogs

pairing: aizawa shouta x puppy girl!reader

summary: shou never thought that he'd be up for adopting a dog. they were clingy, hyper, dumb, and gross. or so he thought.

warnings:

this had to be a joke, right? the one time eraserhead steps away from his patrol for the night, he's gotta be the hero again. well, according to himself anyway.

you were just chilling, huddled into your dingy, makeshift bed that you had long outgrown. here in the Tourism Sector of the city. you must've been dodged by a previous caretaker.

not that shouta was looking, but he noticed how you looked. your adorable ears, hidden poorly in your sparkly, dewy fro. you had on simple tops and bottoms but he wondered if that shake was real. your small, chubby self just perched so cutely, he didn't like dogs but he would tolerate them for you.

as he took a step to try and wake you, he heard a meek growl sound from you. had you been awake this whole time? you must be a light sleeper.

"m'not drunk 'n' m'not going back to the hold. not with you." the girl mumbled, shouta just bent down a little to see her a bit more. he was treated to the smell of dog mixed with a fading perfume. it was a strange smell.

"hey. i'm eraserhead. can you tell me if you're alright?"

you peaked up at him, your nose all ashy and twitchy. dehydration. "if you come any closer, i'll rip your heart out through your chest. stay back. what do you want?"

the whiplash?!?

shouta just fought the urge to be irritated by some random pup being rude. this dog probably had ran away rather than be dumped if the way she watched him was any sign.

"are you alright?"

"yea, m'fine. do i need'ta move?"

the way your cheeks seemed to fluff out as you glared at him sent flutters into his throat. you were kinda cute. if he had any say in it, he would've offered to become a very temporary caretaker for you. he still wasn't too much of a fan of dogs.

shouta shook his head, "nah, as long as you're okay. i'm a hero and i want to help."

she lowered her body back down, still keeping her eyes trained on shouta's silhouette through the dark.

"i'm trying to stay on the low. i'm running from a big hero corporation. thanks but no thanks."

he was right. "okay. i'm gonna go then. make sure you stay safe out here."

he wasn't sure why he said that, but as he left the cute, little, floppy-eared hybrid as per her request, he felt differently than he had maybe a few minutes ago.

if he's being honest, he would've forgotten all about that random late night interaction. in fact he did. that was until he saw her again during his mission. she was out, but he suspected that the bloody tears in her skin were from tranquilizers. if she was any bit as fierce as she was when he first saw her, she probably gave the kidnappers hell right back, if not worse.

"okay, you watch her while i go get the boss. careful, she bites. fat bitch."

"she is chubby and she is a female dog. that's literally what you're saying. or do you mean it as an insult?"

the goon just smacked his lips, aggressively sighing while throwing his arms up. "dude. stop bringing your weird ass simp feminism bullshit up. literally nobody cares, it was just a joke, bro."

shouta wanted to punch his lights out, but he was undercover as a neutral party investor. he couldn't let them see him fight. so he just nodded and let the subject fall for the moment.

"sure.. i don't care."

"if she wakes up or even looks like she's getting ready to move-" the goon pointed to the tranquilizer darts and gun sat on a window sill behind shouta's head, "-shoot her with that. it's the only way we can safely show her to folks. she usually just tries to scratch off people's faces. we wouldn't want your face ruined since you're such a good investor, mr. mooney."

as soon as the greasy asshole left, shouta stretched and got relaxed on the only clean couch. if it took as long to find and get the ringleader to see him as it usually did, shou was going to just catch some sleep.

"eraserhead? you're here, too?"

shouta's eyes shot to see the short, dog hybrid sitting up. he hadn’t notice before but while her eyes were wrapped, her cute, little, floppy ears still poked through her now unkempt hair.

"yea. i'm undercover. i need you to not expose me, please."

"ow! what the fuck?"

before he could ask her anything, in the way she cradled in to herself, shouta could just barely see a blackened burn. a branding, probably. not a great sign, but not as bad as it could be.

"they fucking burned me." tears streamed down her face, "and i fucking hurt everywhere. oww..."

ok, so the situation is worsening. "i promise my colleagues and i will help you out, but i need you to be quiet."

"...do you need to put me out again? if they find out i'm up, they won't be so easy with you. i can take it, but i don't know what you do as a hero so i'm not so sure how much you can take."

"no need to worry. just trust me. okay?"

#x chubby reader #aizawa x reader #x reader #x black reader #x poc reader #bnha x plus size reader #bnha x poc!reader #mha x you #bnha x you #mha x y/n #mha x reader #mha x black reader #bnha x y/n #aizawa imagine #shoto aizawa #mha aizawa

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williammarksommer · 1 year

Photo

Above the Falls

Arizona

All The Time In The World

Hasselblad 500c/m

Kodak Ektar 100iso

27 notes · View notes

moodywyrm · 1 year

Note

hi mooney!

i just wanted to share my thoughts on abby n chubby reader (this was definitely NOT based on personal experience or anything) uhm, maybe slight trigger warning for implying an eating disorder?

maybe abby took reader out for lunch or something n absentmindedly said something about reader eating a big meal, (ex. "baby, you sure you're gonna eat all that?") not even meaning it in a bad way but reader thinking abby's suggesting she eat a little less, so reader just loses her appetite and goes kinda silent n doesn't say anything for the rest of lunch cs it reminds her of things her exes have said abt her; abby jus thinking she's sleepy, it goes on for like a couple days n abby getting worried cs her girl is eating less than usual n it's starting to affect her, like reader being more silent, slightly shaking a bit cs of how little she's eating n sleeping more cs her not eating is leading to less energy n it's jus reader falling back into how she used to treat herself before she met abby

abby finally decides to confront reader n reader jus letting the flood gates open n SOBBING to abby about how she thinks abby doesn't love her anymore n how she's sorry for eating so much n just saying how she's trying to get rid of the weight by not eating as much to get her body used to it.

abby is absolutely SHOCKED n confused on why her sweet angel is doing this n when reader explains what abby said, abby jus feels so bad n gives reader the best comfort n reassuring her that she meant nothing by it ["baby i swear! i didnt know :( jus didn't want you getting a tummy ache cs you ate a big breakfast too but i didnt mean you should stop taking care of yourself! :(( ] n abby jus making all of reader's favorite foods n making sure her girl is gettin all her nutrients n stuff in n jus being super comforting by letting reader cry some more n stuff

sorry if this is so long, jus had this thought bobbing around my head n needed to share it with someone :( feel free to get to this anytime ♡︎ hope you're having an amazing day/night

(also, could i be 💌 or 🐇 anon?)

TW: disordered eating, internalized fatphobia + hatred

hi baby! 1) imma choose 💌 bc it's so cute! 2) I'll say it, I have had this experience before (though admittedly without the sweet masc to help me out), so let's go! of course, trigger warning for disordered eating and general discomfort around food and body image. if you can't or don't want to read that, avoid this. avoid it like the plague.

it all started with a comment. you and abby were having brunch after class, as a treat for you having just submitted a huge assignment. and you're starving! you had no time before class to eat, and then your class was an eighty minute chunk. so you're so hungry, and you order a full meal, a smoothie plus a California club and sides! grapefruit, onion rings, fries. (obviously if you have any allergies or preferences, just imagine it's something else for this. the actual food isn't critical to the plot). and when you tell the server your order and they leaves, Abby turns to you and says "You gonna eat all of that, baby?"

and of course she doesn't mean it in a shamey, how-could-you-eat-all-of-that way. she meant it in a can-you-eat-all-of-that-without-getting-a-tummy-ache way. but that's not how it registered. and it makes you feel sick, even when you answer "maybe I'll just take the leftovers"

you definitely end up taking the leftovers, because you get maybe two bites into the sandwich, nibbling on the sides, and decide to just finish the smoothie. you have basically your entire meal untouched, and abby gets full off her own meal, so you have two containers of leftovers to take home, which makes you feel so shitty. and you can hear every negative voice in your head rise up, from family members to peers to exes, everyone who ever fatshamed you and made you feel wrong for trying to nourish your body.

you're quiet all the way home, quiet for days after. abby just assumes you're tired, knowing that you have a lot of school work. and partly, she's right. you are tired. you're fuckign exhausting because you're eating maybe one meal a day, (not) sustaining yourself on coffee and water, doing all of your assignments with no energy whatsoever. and you're fighting yourself, not knowing how to bring it up to abby. that it's not because of what she said, she didn't mean it, but it kind of is because of what she said. and it hurts so fucking bad. so yeah, you're exhausted.

it all comes to a head when you're sitting, kneeling, in front of your mirror, doing your makeup or just getting ready, and when you stand up, you nearly pass out. you're so lightheaded, slamming your hand out to the wall, trying not to fall over. your vision swims, and you try to stabilize yourself. abby, who was sitting at her desk, immediately gets up, practically flying to you and holding you up.

"shit, baby, are you okay?" and she sounds so concerned, you fucking break. the tears are so fast, you don't stand a chance at stopping them. you're standing there, sobbing, and abby is terrified. because she doesn't know why. so she gently guides you over the bed, still crying, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and trying to get you to a state where you can talk.

it takes about fifteen minutes, but you get there, still crying, still hiccuping out sobs, but at least somewhat intelligible.

"I just. I know you didn't mean it to be mean. But last week, at the restaurant, when you asked if I was gonna eat all of the food and-" You can't keep talking because it all floods back to you and you're crying again, clinging to abby like a lifeline, chest hurting from the sobs. But now Abby gets it. She remembers what she said and she figures out how it might've sounded and now she feels like shit. Because she never wanted to hurt you, but intent doesn't matter right now because she did hurt you.

"I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean to say it like that, and I'm so sorry my words hurt you. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I only asked because I didn't want your stomach to hurt, but I should have worded it so much better. I never, ever, want you to feel guilty about eating, or anything, with me."

You're still crying, still clinging to her, but trying to get the words out. "It's okay baby, I should've" hiccup "should've talked to you, told you how I felt but I just froze" hiccup "and I was so scared you would think I was gross, so I stopped eating so much but that didn't help anything-" and again, you're crying so hard your head hurts, and now Abby is crying, sniffling, trying to hide it because this is about you and she knows if you hear her crying you'll worry about her. So she presses a kiss to your head, rubbing her hands up and down your back.

"I wish you would have talked to me, but I know it's scary and hard and it's so easy in theory. But I'm so sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I will always be here for you, baby, always." and when she here's you whisper out a small "I love you", she hauls you into her lap. You're still crying, because you need to let it out, but Abby doesn't move a fucking inch, holding you for as long as you need.

Once you've calmed down enough to move to the couch, Abby gets to work cooking you your favorite meal, trying not to overload you with so much ood that'll make your tummy hurt, but trying to give you a good, balanced dinner after a week of hurt. Sitting at the kitchen island, watching you eat pasta with some lingering trepidation but an overwhelming amount of trust on your face, she would never trade that moment for anything, Abby knows that, for the rest of her life, she wants to take care of you. Wants you to live a life where food isn't pain or punishment, and you're allowed to nourish yourself and enjoy food when you want to.

#💌 anon #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x reader fluff #abby anderson fluff #tw ed implied

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marvuders · 2 days

Text

"No swearing, Mooney!" — Wolfstar

warnings: heavy food mentions word count: 3,187 characters/era: sirius black, remus lupin, baby!harry potter, mention of other marauders. au where james & lily lived. summary: Remus is tasked with cooking breakfast for himself, his boyfriend, Sirius and their friend's baby Harry. It doesn't go quite well at first, but everything works out in the end.

Remus quickly glanced over his shoulder, but he couldn’t help but stop and take in the moment. His boyfriend, Sirius, was jumping around their lounge room with the largest smile on his face, his hair bouncing around with him, his baby hairs starting to stick to his forehead that was quickly becoming sweaty. Their friend’s toddler, Harry, was just as excited as Sirius was. He couldn’t call it jumping, but Harry was bouncing with Sirius’ movements, laughing as they went.

It was such a sweet moment, he wished that he had his camera nearby. Muggle cameras couldn’t do justice to this moment. It was small moments like these that made Remus fall in love with Sirius all over again.

The coldness in his hand quickly reminded him what he was actually meant to be doing, Remus caught the short end of the stick this morning and was meant to be cooking breakfast for all three. He placed the milk down on the counter, rubbing his hands together as he looked at the messy counter in front of him and the recipe he didn’t quite understand. Remus never really understood the appeal of cooking, he couldn’t do it, he didn’t enjoy it and he certainly didn’t enjoy the clean up afterwards either. His mother always said that he’d have to find a partner who could cook, or to learn how to quickly. Well, jokes on her, because he did find someone who is actually good at cooking. Which made him wonder why Sirius wasn’t cooking and playing with the baby instead.

But hearing the endless laughter of Sirius and Harry made his forthcoming battle with food a bit easier to handle. He brought the recipe to the front of the counter, skimming over the words that presented themselves as jargon.

“Okay… so that much milk,” Remus whispered to himself, “I need containers right? Right.” He flung open the cupboard door, picking one of the measuring jugs and a small bowl from the thousand of plastic containers. He measured the milk, it wasn’t exact but that’s for only him to know, then added it to his ‘mixing bowl.’ Sirius said he needed that.

“Crack two eggs into a separate bowl,” He continued reading, his eyebrows furrowing with each line. Remus got another bowl out and the eggs. Well, turns out he is worse at cracking eggs than he is cooking in general. First attempt, he hit the egg against the bowl too hard and it shattered everywhere. Second attempt saw half the shell go into the bowl. Third attempt was quite alike the first. This when he started to get frustrated.

“Bloody shit!” Remus said, upon the forth egg falling out of his hands and breaking before he could even get it near the bowl. He took a breath and stood there, with the shattered egg in front of him on the floor.

“Okay, what the actual fu-”

“HEY!”

Remus turned to find Sirius standing in the lounge room, with his hands dramatically sitting on his hips. His long black hair sitting in front of his face, certain parts sticking up from where no doubt Harry had messed it up. The toddler was sitting on the couch, thumb in mouth, excitedly looking between himself and Sirius.

“Don’t you dare swear in front of the baby!” Sirius dramatically exclaimed, tilting his head slightly as he huffed and puffed, the corner of his mouth fighting off a smile. “Lily will kill me if we give Harry back swearing and cursing, Lupin!”

Remus lifted his hands up to his chest, displaying his open palm to Sirius, proclaiming his ‘innocence.’ Sirius slowly started to smile and let out a chuckle, lowering his hands from his hips as he lowered himself next to Harry. Remus found himself smiling, feeling a bit calmer than he was a minute ago.

“No swearing, Moony,” Sirius pointed his finger in Remus’ direction. “Sorry mum,” He replied, quickly flashing a wink at his boyfriend, who had already gone back to play with Harry. The short bust of silence did not last long.

Remus grabbed a few paper towels from the roll, bending down to wipe the shattered egg off the floor, then the ones on the counter. He didn’t figure there was a point in trying to save any, they could always buy more. So all failed attempts went into the bin. After some quick cleaning, he grabbed a few more eggs out of the fridge. Remus was just about to pick up the first one, to crack against the bowl when two arms wrapped around his waist from behind and he felt Sirius pressed up against him, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder. He could sense that he was smiling, no doubt already thinking of an insult about his egg-cracking skills. Sirius and James had made immense fun of Remus in the past about how he couldn’t cook.

“You’re putting too much pressure on them,” Sirius softly said. He proceeded to wrap his hands around Remus’, guiding them as they softly cracked the egg against the bowl, and further cracked it open to let the insides fall into the bowl. Sirius had to lean around Remus to peer into the bowl, he wasn’t quite tall enough to see over his shoulder. Of course, this time there wasn’t any shell within the bowl. Remus smiled, as Sirius quickly grabbed the other egg and cracked it into the bowl, another perfect crack.

“You can’t live without me, babe,” Sirius cockily said, as he withdrew his arms, smacking Remus on the arse as he laughed and walked back to Harry. Remus shook his head and smiled, he knew the cocky remark was coming, sooner or later.

With two eggs perfectly cracked, he looked back to the recipe, moving through the steps and attempting to clean as he went. Sirius taught him it was best to clean whilst you cook, although he never understood exactly why. He had the stovetop on, the grease in pan and bread in the egg-milk mixture. So far so good. Remus moved two pieces of bread into the pan, and luckily they didn’t stick.

A few minutes later, and it was time to flip the bread. Remus caught himself holding his breath, everything had gone good so far— other than the eggs of course, but flipping was the crucial part. Remus chucked the utensil down on the counter with a heavy thud, taking a heavy breath. Both pieces of bread were burnt. He chucked the temperature down a notch, running his hands through his hair. Remus felt rather frustrated and annoyed. Any other baby-less day, he would’ve been thinking out loud and swears would take up most of his dialogue. And he probably would’ve tried to bribe James or Sirius to step in and do it for him. Everyone knew Remus and cooking didn’t exactly mix. But himself and Sirius had been trusted to babysit, and a part of that was supplying a meal, and not cursing. He took another deep breath and continued to wait and cook the bread. Wait and flip, wait and flip, try not to curse, wait and flip.

“Okay, I’m fucking done! Why is it so fucking hard?” Remus yelled, chucking the burnt bread into the bin and turning off the stovetop. “It’s just fucking bread? Fucking bastards of things.”

He continued to chuck things all over the kitchen, the utensil just made it into the sink, the bowls got shoved to the side, making loud noises as they went. It wasn’t long before everything was even more of a mess than it was before, and Remus just stood there in the kitchen, his chest heaving up and down as he took heavy breaths. He lifted his hands up, burying his face in them.

“Hey,” Sirius whispered, slowly walking over to the kitchen with Harry lifted and sitting on his hip. “Moony, hey, babe?”

Remus lowered his hands, turning to face Sirius. He went to go speak, opening his mouth slightly, but soon closed it when no words came to fruition.

“It’s okay, we all know you can’t cook,” Sirius’ tone was light and caring but with a hint of humour. “But,” he paused, hiking Harry further up his body, “you gotta stop cursing in front of the baby.”

There was a moment of silence before Remus started to laugh which Harry quickly copied and joined in. All three boys were laughing in their disaster of a kitchen, bits of eggs, milk and burnt bread all over the place. Remus made eye-contact with Sirius, smiling softly as he mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ Sirius quickly responded, shaking his head and walking forward a few steps to gently kiss him on the cheek.

Remus took Harry out of Sirius’ arms, wrapping one arm around his legs and bottom, whilst his other hand supported his upper back and shoulders. Harry’s hair resembled James’ hair- dark, wavy and full of volume. His bright green eye’s paralleling Lily’s, having the same level of innocence and mischievous intent behind them. Harry reached for Remus’ face, playing and prodding with his cheeks, pushing around the skin and making Remus look like an utter idiot— but it made Harry laugh.

“Pete’s gonna get us drive through and bring it over,” Sirius said, walking back into the kitchen, “to save you trying to cook again, Moony.”

“Thank you Pads,” Remus replied, removing his upper hand from Harry’s back and chucked a few utensils in the kitchen sink. Sirius started to do the same, not exactly cleaning but just general tidying. It’ll make it easier for when they did eventually get around to cleaning.

Remus didn’t quite know how Sirius could make such a trivial task comforting and relaxing. He slowly rocked Harry, whilst wiping the benches with his spare hand. Sirius cleaned up the leftover food and rinsed out the bowls whilst making small, banter comments under his breath about Remus’ lack of cooking skills, and cleaning skills. It had calmed all the previous tension he was holding from his outburst with the toast.

“I’m just saying, Moony, my mother’s hair would turn instantly grey if she even looked at the mess you left our kitchen in!” Sirius exclaimed, dramatically putting his arms out for further flair.

“Lower your voice, Black,” Remus softly said, tilting his head towards Harry, who was now almost asleep, his head resting in the crook of Remus’ neck, his little hand grasped onto a section of his top. Neither of them couldn’t help but smile. “The baby’s trying to sleep.”

“Least it isn’t swearing,”

“I hate you, sometimes,”

“If only I knew how bad a cook you were before I said yes.”

Remus squinted at his boyfriend, if there wasn’t a baby in his arms, he probably would’ve tackled him. Sirius stood there, a grin plastered on his face, his hair messy and in need of a haircut, his graphic tee had no sleeves, showing off his arms quite well. Remus had briefly forgotten about their banter, taking a minute to admire Sirius’ stature, his toned arms and how he always managed to pull off ripped skinny jeans.

“Hey!” Sirius whispered with force, “I just insulted you, idiot, don’t have anything to say?”

“You’ll make up for that later, Pads.”

“Pete’s out the front,” Sirius said, with his phone in hand. “Be back in a minute.”

Remus carefully peered down at Harry, moving incredibly slowly in an attempt to not awaken him. He was fast asleep, with a small pool of drool forming onto his top. Grabbing his blanket off the top of the couch, he slowly wrapped it around Harry before placing him in his make-do bed just beside the couch. Harry settled in nicely, his face moving ever so slightly reacting to whatever that little head was dreaming about. Sirius was back rather quickly, with food in hand.

They both sat down on the couch, their bodies leaning up against each other. Sirius reached into the takeout bags, pulling out the pancakes and fries that Pete got from them. Remus quickly went for the bag chips, or the best chips, in his opinion.

“I do love you, you know,” Sirius said, with his mouth half-full, “I love you and your crappy cooking skills.”

Remus lifted his arm, wrapping it around Sirius’ shoulder, pulling him in closer towards his own body. “I love you too, I couldn’t eat without you.” He laughed, reaching for some more fries.

It was a comfortable silence within their apartment. The two of them sitting on the couch, enjoying each other’s company and physical affection, whilst Harry slept in his make-do bed beside them. The smell of fresh takeout filling their senses. It was moments like these that Remus knew he made the right decision a few years ago. When he had the choice to keep his feelings to himself or take the gamble and potentially ruin his friendship. He was incredibly grateful that he took the risk; otherwise, he wouldn’t have one of his best friends beside him, stuffing his face with chips, with his body pressed against his own. And he certainly couldn’t call that best friend his boyfriend either.

Remus squeezed Sirius into a side-on hug, resting his head against Sirius’ hair. He couldn’t help but smile whilst they both continued to eat their not-so home-cooked breakfast. It was this that he had longed and yearned for, a sweet life that he never thought he could have, let alone deserve it.

“I really fucking love you, Sirius,” he whispered, taking another bite of food. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Sirius turned to eye-ball Remus, smiling slightly. “I really trucking love you too, Moony,” he paused, “but how many times do I have to tell you, no swearing in front of the baby!”

“He’s asleep, idiot,”

“Still! We’d never be allowed to babysit again.”

They both started to laugh, Remus moved forward, brushing their noses together. He closed his eyes as he started to close the distance between the two of them, Remus could feel Sirius smiling as he pressed his lips against his loves. Sirius kissed back as he tilted his head up, falling perfectly together. It was soft and light, Remus' chest felt light but full of emotion at the same time. His face seemed to form a smile without putting any thought into it. He couldn’t imagine any other place that he felt more happier or safer, with his lips against Sirius’, their limbs against one another.

Sirius pulled back first, giving Remus that warm smile, the type that included his eyes, where these little lines in the outer corner of each eye would appear, and his eyebrows would lift slightly. It was when Sirius was the most beautiful.

There was a specific thought that rushed through Remus’ head. He had to actively try to stop it from coming up and out of his mouth. He couldn’t ask it yet, no, not yet. Could he?

Sirius had turned back to the remainder of the food, it gave Remus a minute to think. He’d been wanting to for months, he had pondered different moments, different ways to ask it. He had even second questioned whether they were at that point in their relationship, whether he would actually say yes. Remus knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sirius, he was convinced that Sirius was the love of his life.

Remus found himself lifting his body off the couch, his legs threatening to drop out from underneath him as he walked towards their shared bedroom. He’d brought a set of rings a few months ago now, it was an impulsive buy. Remus dug them out of the hiding spot, opening the boxes and looking over them.

His chest pounded, he felt like he was dreaming- nothing seemed real, but he couldn’t help but feel that he was making the right decision. He quickly shoved the boxes in his pyjama pockets and walked back out to the lounge room.

“Sirius?” His voice shook as he spoke, he stopped a few feet in front of his unsuspecting lover. He could feel his hands getting clammy, his mouth felt dry, his heart pounded more than he had ever felt it do so before.

“Yeah, babe?” Sirius licked his fingers of sauce, looking up at him. Here goes nothing.

Remus slowly lowered down on one knee, pulling the ring box out of his pocket as he did. “Sirius Black,” he paused, opening up the box, revealing the ring and pointing it in Sirius’ direction, “I love you more than I can even begin to describe.”

“Rem-”

“Wait,” He interrupted, “I want to finish first; I wouldn’t be where I am without you. I can’t live without you. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Remus took a breath, he continued, “Padfoot, will you marry me?”

It felt as if the next ten seconds lasted forever, just staring at Sirius, awaiting an answer. He watched as Sirius moved the food off his lap to where he sat a minute ago, and his hand started to shake out of his control as Sirius lowered himself to the floor, level with himself.

“Yes,” He whispered, his hands clasped Remus’ shaking ones. There were a few tears forming in both of their eyes, Sirius didn’t seem to mind and just let them fall down his slightly blushed cheeks. “I’ll marry you.”

A relieved chuckle escaped Remus’ mouth, he took a heavy breath. His mind kept replaying ‘yes’ over and over again. It didn’t quite seem real. They were both crying on their lounge room floor, grasping one another. Sirius leaned forward, moving one of his hands to the side of Remus’ face, running his thumb back and forth along his cheek.

“I love you too, Moony,” Sirius cried, “so, so much.”

“Sirius Lupin has a nice ring to it,” His voice was barely audible, but he could see Sirius smile.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Sirius sniffled as he pulled the ring out of the box, offering it to Remus and held his hand out. Remus chucked the box aside, slipping the gold ring onto Sirius’ finger, it matched his skin tone immensely. “It’s beautiful, Moony.”

The silence was full and warm, there weren't any words that came to either of their minds. It was truly the perfect moment.

Remus gripped onto Sirius, not wanting to let him out his arms, and he moved them both against the side of the couch. Sirius quickly settled in his lap, resting his head against his upper chest, there wasn’t a doubt that he could hear how fast and loud his heart was beating. Remus shut his eyes and lifted his hand to play with his now-fiance’s hair. Smooth as silk, like normal with a slight scent of pine. It was another one of Remus’ favourite things about his partner.

“You’re stuck with me forever now, you realise that right, Lupin?”

“Well, you’re stuck with my cooking, babe.”

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