#might be nice to have an activity we all do
Note
I was wondering if you've talked about why Gabriel was on a jog in season 1 episode 4. It always felt off to me since it's such a human activity
Hi @anxious-al! 💕 Hope you're having a nice week so far. *gets the mugs* as there's always hot chocolate available for Gabriel-themed questions. 😊
What a time to be going for a "human" jog, eh? This takes place on the morning of The Last Day of The World:
Gabriel is supposed to destroy this planet later that day and he's down on it, alone, jogging in the park... why?... and what of the human woman dressed as an angel at the edge of the park?
The scene wherein Aziraphale interrupts Gabriel on a morning run in the park begins with one of the strangest moments in the series-- Aziraphale being distracted by a human woman dressed in head-to-toe gold with harp-like angel wings. She is a performance artist and her art is that she is dressed as an angel. She stands there, silent, sending her artistic message for both the characters in the story who notice her and for us as the audience to interpret. This makes her a bit meta for the story of Good Omens as a whole.
What message is The Angel Woman saying to her fellow humans with this? is a question that leads us to another one as a result:
What is Good Omens saying by using angels and demons in their story written for us humans?
Perhaps that there is divinity in humanity? Perhaps that we spend all this time glorifying holy beings that we can't prove even exist when, really, we humans embody the angelic and the demonic and everything in between? That we're really the magical ones?
The Angel Woman is a character in a story written by humans who are using angels and demons to make points about human living... and who are the other characters in this scene? Gabriel and Aziraphale... a pair of angels on Earth and who are both engaged in aspects of what they might see as "human" living.
This scene is one in the story pointing out that "human living" is really just living, period.
Aziraphale stops and contemplates the angel-dressed performance artist and that is the start of the scene. The "human cosplaying" Gabriel then jogs by them-- paralleling both the angel who lives like a human and the human who is dressed as an angel. Here's The Supreme Archangel of Heaven on the last morning on Earth and what is he doing?
He's jogging in the park. Like a human.
The episode is called "Saturday Morning Funtime" and has more Gabriel in its front half than any episode prior to it, as we begin to see that he's actually who it's named for. Everyone is miserable ahead of Armageddon but the one who has a Saturday Morning Funtime routine is Gabriel. This guy who is the commander of the armed forces of Heaven and entrapped by a supernatural fascist regime hellbent on destroying this place?
Yeah, he secretly kinda loves Earth.
Gabriel is keeping himself from going mad by carving out some escape time on Earth where he does some moderate exercise in the fresh air and clears his head. No one knows who he is down there. He's just another hot dude running in the park. It gets him away from the other angels always circling him like vultures and gives him some precious alone time.
There are other scenes that indicate that, as Earth has gone on, Gabriel has been using the power of his position to escape to it from time to time. Gabriel's only possessions until S2 are his custom-tailored clothes and they were made on Earth. He shows a curiosity about how Aziraphale chooses to live in the sushi scene in 1.01. Yes, he's judgy about it but he's judgy to hide the fact that he's asking out of interest-- rather than using the power he has to order Aziraphale not to make his own choices over it.
Gabriel is shown to be a lot more "live and let live" than he might initially seem to be. He is one of the only angels who doesn't view the demons as beneath them and he covers for Michael's relationships with them. Several scenes suggest pretty heavily that he's known about Crowley and Aziraphale for ages and has been keeping that knowledge from The Metatron. He doesn't care that Aziraphale does human things on Earth like eating or that he wants to live a more human-like existence. He doesn't totally understand all aspects of it but that doesn't stop him from being more fundamentally curious about it than anything else.
Gabriel actually doesn't care that Aziraphale's in love with Crowley. Gabriel can get the appeal, actually. Gabriel knows how it goes anyway... he's got a bit of a thing for the "informant" he references to Aziraphale in 1.01-- Lord Beezlebub, the only being he feels like he really be anything close to his true self around, who also happens to be a demon. The demons are supposed to be the angels' mortal enemies but Gabriel thinks that's kind of bullshit. They're just people and he remembers what a lot of them were like before Hell became a thing. They were smart, creative people, most of whom did little wrong but for asking the same questions that Gabriel privately asks himself daily.
So, he's been coming down to Earth to check it out for awhile, when he can come up with an excuse to escape his prison. Sometime pre-S1, he started to do more than observe and basically got himself a hobby in jogging, like a human might do. Something for him and him alone. This is a big deal because Gabriel has virtually nothing else that is own.
Gabriel doesn't own a single, non-clothing material object in S1 and never has at this point. The first present he'll ever be given is the fly in the matchbox from Beez. His clothes are his only possessions, which is partially why he's so vain about them. They are the only way he's allowed to express a sense of individuality in Heaven-- and he made that happen.
This is related to the jogging and is a much, much bigger deal than it might initially seem...
In S2, when we go back to the Job minisode era, we see that all of the angels used to dress in, more-or-less, the same thing. They all look like what they are-- members of a cult. Even The Supreme Archangel is wearing basically a white sheet roped off in gold. The homogeneity of the look is the point.
There's a psychological reason why cults of all sorts-- and armies of all sorts-- have an uniform. It's to reinforce a sense of negative groupthink over a sense of individuality. When you are allowed to dress as you wish, you have freedom of expression, and this obviously causes you to consider how you wish to express yourself to others. It gives you the free reign we all should have to be who we are-- and to be able to consider who that is and evolve our sense of self over time. This is absolutely against the mindset of dictatorships and cults and anything in that vein.
The last thing they want is for people to see themselves as individual people because that stuff gets dangerous. They might get ideas. They might form their own opinions and start to act on them. It makes people harder to control. This is why Gabriel and his clothes are so important.
The only way the whole 'everyone is basically wearing a table cloth' situation changed for the angels sometime post-Job is if The Supreme Archangel okayed it. He's the only one with just enough power to have made this happen, if not enough power to overthrow The Metatron on his own. Gabriel saw Aziraphale begin to wear different things on Earth with the built-in excuse of Aziraphale having to blend in with the humans and white robes were no longer a style that would work.
Aziraphale, as a result, became the first angel to have an excuse to express himself as an individual because he got to choose what he'd like to wear while he was on Earth. Gabriel noted this and basically said to himself that looks fun. Our dude was very tired of this white robe situation and seeing Aziraphale get to play made Gabriel want to as well so he went to Aziraphale at some point and basically said teach me about what the humans are doing about clothes.
Gabriel had an excuse to change his look, too-- he'd have to go to Earth sometimes to do Supreme Archangel Checking Up On Stuff Things. He'd have to look like a human, too. He loved it. Playing human dress up was super fun and brought all new kinds of thoughts. What fabrics he liked, what looks he liked, what he thought about how the different clothes looked on him, what made him feel different ways about himself. Clothes are self-expression, after all-- they reflect how we feel about ourselves and support the image we are trying to project. Gabriel got into this, big-time, and then turned around and asked the dangerous question to himself:
What if we did this in Heaven, too?
What if he used what power he had to change the rules about what the angels wore? What if he told everyone they could wear whatever they wanted? The army would still have an uniform for when they were running drills or whatever and maybe there'd be a color-scheme because Gabriel knew The Metatron was going to lose it about this so he came up with some parameters but he basically overthrew the tablecloth tyranny and told every other angel that they were free to express themselves the way they wanted and, if you ask me? That's why he and The Metatron are snarking about Gabriel's suit during his trial.
The Metatron never got over the fact that Gabriel pushed the clothes thing and knew how to get just enough of what he could without making it more trouble than it was worth to kill him over it. The Metatron takes some evil delight in telling Gabriel that "appropriate raiment" will be provided for him-- he'll have to wear what The Metatron dictates, in other words-- now that he'll be a bottom-of-the-barrel junior recording analyst. Gabriel, though?
He got the last laugh. He used taking off his suit as a reason to leave, along with clearing out his non-existent desk, and fled Heaven buck ass naked rather than put up with The Metatron's bullshit for another minute.
The moment Crowley fell in love with Gabriel was when he saw just how much Gabriel loathes The Metatron in these just take me out back and shoot me ffs faces he was making during his trial:
Anyway, the point is that all the angels are following Gabriel's lead and that's probably half the reason why almost everyone in Heaven dresses in a variation of Aziraphale or Gabriel's styles. (Ever notice how Michael and Uriel look like they're in some kind of suit battle and both of them are trying to emulate Gabriel a bit?) While many of the angels aren't really reinventing the rules of fashion up there, the idea worked: they all look different from one another. They all can express themselves as they desire when it comes to how they look. They've all had to think about themselves for at least long enough as it takes to come up with outfits and view themselves as an individual person to do so.
It's perhaps worth noting in here then, too, how funny it is that The Metatron is a floating head... that's how he presents himself. He's the one character who doesn't have a body. It's symbolic of how he feels he's above even the idea of having anything like the pesky needs of human corporation. The ideal of Heaven is him, in his eyes, and he is above the vessel through which all living beings actually live...
...and the one challenging him every step of the way as much as he can is The Supreme Archangel...
...who, amusingly, happens to have a rather pleasing physical corporation appreciated by many, many different sorts of beings.
Looked at that way? Gabriel's peacocking about his clothes is not pure vanity but just the best example of what little rebellious fires he's been able to start Up there. A focus on clothes is also a focus on your body-- for better or worse-- and so it's not really surprising that Gabriel's Earthly hobby is looking goooood in some grey sweatpants while he escapes a little from the pressures of his world.
There's something kind of delicious about Gabriel deciding that he has some Saturday Morning Funtime now-- he has an exercise routine. He's like peace out, MetaT-- I'm going to take my fantastic corporation *jogging*. Rot in Hell, you fascist Mr. Potato Head...
Aziraphale is interruping Gabriel's alone time in 1.04 and if you look closely, you'll notice that Gabriel actually looks upset as he's running before Aziraphale sees him. He doesn't actually want to destroy Earth. He feels he has no choice and he's terrified of The Metatron but he likes Earth. He doesn't fully understand of it-- to be fair to him, no one really does lol-- but he likes it enough to have been escaping to it for awhile now.
By S2, in a parallel scene to the jogging one, Aziraphale will be beginning to get the idea of him and Gabriel both having versions of the Heaven-induced perfectionism and anxiety a bit more, though... and about how that's not any different from humans who go through the same thing.
The angel human doing performance art (complete with foreshadowing the discus halo) in S1:
The art of the Gabriel statue in Edinburgh in S2:
In S2, the art is a human-made sculpture deitifying Gabriel. It causes Aziraphale to further consider what life might have been like for a being who is, really, just some dude, but who has been held up as a holy symbol in this way by angels and humans alike.
Adding to this is that the statue of Gabriel is in the middle of a human graveyard. While this has a really eerie layer in S2 considering that we see it after Gabriel has fallen, which is a kind of death, and now lives among the humans, there's a way of looking at it that is also in keeping with what S1's human performance artist angel was talking about-- there's not this big line between these kind of beings.
Emphasizing this? The Angel Woman isn't just dressed as an angel-- she is also wearing a dress and a human sun hat. She reflects how having a halo hanging over your head symbolizing your need to be perfect in a way that causes you to see yourself as someone who should be above humans is not just an angelic thing-- it's a very human thing, too. That's the point of these angels and demons in Good Omens. They're just like us in every way that really matters and their stories are no different at the core from what we experience.
Crowley and Aziraphale actually have it a lot better than most of the angels and demons. They have been able to live on Earth since the beginning. They aren't completely free of the regime that threatens them but they've found a way of escaping it as much as they can. They've been free to learn and explore and experiment and enjoy much more than the others have. They've been free to have a relationship with one another-- to have a friend they can trust and talk to-- which not all of the angels and demons do. (Not all humans do, either.) Of all of the less fortunate characters? Gabriel, despite having some power in Heaven, might have actually been one of the worst off.
Why is Gabriel jogging in the park on the morning of the last day of Earth? Because Gabriel likes to go for solo jogs in the park...
... just like many humans who have stressful jobs and like to wake up on Saturday morning and throw on a sweatsuit and sneakers and get outside to get some fresh air, move, and try to quiet their thoughts.
That Gabriel is already in this place in S1 is a surprising twist thrown into 1.04 that actually makes us kind of want to scream at Aziraphale 'ask him why he's fucking jogging, Az!' Aziraphale is trying to make the point that they don't need to destroy Earth but the one thing he fails to point out is that Earth is the planet that they're currently both standing on and which Gabriel seems to really be enjoying.
Gabriel couldn't agree with Aziraphale in the jogging scene, though, even if he wanted to, for the most ironic reason possible. This one:
Crowley and Aziraphale don't realize it because they're afraid of Gabriel until S2 but he's as trapped as they are. He's as watched as they are. Ducks have ears-- there's always someone listening in the fascist regime of this Heaven/Hell system. Gabriel couldn't say in a public park anything that sounds outside of what he's supposed to say, even if he wanted to, or he'd be in danger for it.
Gabriel is wearing human clothes that are appropriate to the time period he's in while he's jogging. He has a preferred park and route. He's gone through a whole thing to get to this point-- seeing this activity, learning about its benefits, deeming it appealing and something he'd like to try, getting what he needs to do it, finding a time to do so, trying it out and getting good at it... he's done all this already by this scene, showing that he's already subtly rebelling.
There is also that a lot of humans jog, at least in part, to manage mental health issues. It's prescriptive for depression and when we see Gabriel in the post-S1/pre-S2-set flashbacks, he's exhibiting signs that would have gotten him instantly diagnosed with depression had he been a human. It was not new-- more like his default state-- before talking more intimately with Beez started to help him manage it.
This might indicate that Gabriel was already in a place pre-S1 where he viewed humans as having knowledge that could benefit him and other angels-- a point of view that Crowley and Aziraphale also share. To get there, he'd have to have stopped seeing himself as superior to humans-- if he ever did in the first place, which isn't really known. Gabriel does show a surprising aptitude for subversive thinking so it's possible he never really bought the idea that they were superior beings but, even if he did, he doesn't by sometime prior to S1 because the human activity he's gotten for a hobby is one known for helping humans manage the anxiety and stress he knows he also feels.
It's also an activity that Gabriel can get away with doing because it's physical and he's The Commander of The Heavenly Host, Heaven's armed forces. No one can question why he wants to go to Earth to work out because it seems like he's just a devoted soldier when, really, he's doing it to get away from everything for a bit. Jogging gives him time and space to think and to be alone, away from Heaven. It's peaceful when he knows precious little peace. He's also quite literally running from Heaven lol and this was already happening for awhile before S1 happened, let alone S2.
You might say: ok, but Gabriel doesn't *need* to jog... he's magical!
Yes, he's magical... which seems to be like having an extra-long, somewhat-eternal backup battery. It doesn't actually mean that Gabriel doesn't need to exercise. Living beings can go a surprisingly long time repressed from what it is that they need to survive and being magical is suggested to have caused some of these angels and demons to remain alive so long without what it is that they truly need to thrive as people that they've convinced themselves that they don't actually need these things.
Sure, the angels and demons have superhuman powers but they are also very human at the same time...
In S2, Gabriel will describe having what we might call human physical sensations on his way to the bookshop. His arms got sore from holding a box at a weird angle for awhile on his walk-- just like ours would. He was cold from being naked until Aziraphale gave him a blanket. Aziraphale was winded trying to jog with him in this scene in S1. Crowley has basically developed a human sleep schedule over the years to a point that while he can survive missing a night of sleep, he feels the effects of it, as he was mentioning in S2.
To say that these characters being magical means that they're "flawless" would be to get a little "master race" gross, right? And the show does not. The angels and demons have human corporations in all shapes and sizes. Human corporations are just one option for them, even if also the most common, and those options are not built to be without any challenges-- they're built to be human.
Crowley, for instance, is basically a god in terms of power and he's also canonically far-sighted. He built the known universe but he also can't read the paper you just put in front of his eyes without his reading glasses. He can make it rain with his fingertips... and he also has an anxiety disorder. All of this is a story that is using angels and demons as metaphors for human living. We humans have more power than we think, as shown through how the magical angels and demons in the story are more "human" than many of them have been led to believe.
All of the angels and demons might not be at risk from most major human disease, for example... but that's if you're talking about things like Covid and bubonic plague... not if you're talking about the most common ailments plaguing humanity. The major supernatural characters in this story have things like anxiety disorders, depression, and PTSD. Many of them have complicated relationships with food and insecurities about their corporations. They deal with issues of loneliness and the effects of different kinds of trauma and abuse. Every one of them has trust issues for days. Aside from the main four, most of the angels and demons have no idea how hungry, tired, lonely and unfulfilled they are because they think they aren't actually supposed to want things like food, rest, creative outlets, and friendship. If they do feel a desire for these things, they think there's something wrong with them because they've been told they not to want or need in this way.
The few of the angels and demons that can get beyond the b.s. they've been taught and consider that they might not be superior to humans and might have some things in common with them? They break through and start to learn from humans.
Even though they both see each themselves as not fully human and as basically living amongst-- rather than with-- the humans, both Crowley and Aziraphale have experienced enough of the world to know that they're not terribly different from humans. They don't see a lot of their own challenges and experiences as different from that of humans and they actively seek out human knowledge and thoughts on how to manage their way through life. They recognize that their full range of emotions is not any different from that of the humans-- whether the emotions in question are the love they feel for one another or something they have to deal with, like anxiety.
As we see in S2, the choice of corporation for a supernatural being can have consequences that can affect them as a whole. Yes, these beings are more protected than humans, as they can morph into whatever they want and they have miracles that they can use to protect themselves in most situations... but they can actually die if they get into a situation dangerous to them enough, like what The Bullet Catch could have been.
Furfur said that if Crowley had missed and Aziraphale had been shot in the head, that "they might not have been able to put him together again"-- meaning, that Aziraphale could have actually died from a bullet to the head... just like how humans can. While in human form, the angels and demons' minds really are contained within their brains, like is the case with humans. Supernatural beings have a mind-body connection to their corporations of choice-- just as we do with our bodies-- and they're basically all out here choosing human bodies as a default option, right? So, how different are they from us, really? Not that much.
This would mean that their corporations do need the same things that human bodies do. The difference is that, being magical, they can go for eons without addressing these needs, whereas most of us who are only human over here get hangry after four hours without a snack and need to sleep for several hours every day in order to function.
They do need to breathe to be healthy, if not to completely stay alive, because their corporations prefer oxygen and breathing causes the human body to function properly. They can go for millennia without eating... but that doesn't at all mean that they should. When they finally do, they can eat an entire ox without a second thought and why? Because they're starving. They can magically last an absurd amount of time in their repression but they're unnecessarily suffering in doing so.
Crowley and Aziraphale know this. They've learned it themselves. That's why they're giving out warm beverages and sarcastic masturbation tutorials to whatever interested supernatural beings shows up at the door for much of S2.
This is Gabriel's office, shown to us moments after his jog in the park:
That is where he's spent thousands of years. This is his office and what counts as his home. This dude doesn't even have a chair. Look at how huge that space is and how small he seems in it. He can't go out on that balcony. This isn't an office or a house so much as it's a prison cell. This scene shows us why he jogs in the park-- it's his time in the yard during his prison sentence, basically.
Look at how we and Michael come into the scene and see that Gabriel is just staring out the window at the world, tapping his finger against his mouth, lost in thought. This is not a being who is super jazzed to destroy this place later in the day. He's up there like a damn fairy tale princess, trapped in a glass tower in the sky, looking down at the human world and wondering why it is that it's only humans can have it when they really don't seem that different from the angels and demons.
All of us humans with terrible jobs and other stressful situations can usually find a way out of it, except for maybe those of us trapped in an active war zone. What do we humans do? We sleep, we shower, we do some yoga or meditate, we enjoy stories, we make art, we have some good food, we find things that make us laugh and share them with friends and loved ones. Some of us also seek other kinds of connection as well-- a sexual and/or romantic partner. S2 shows us that Gabriel is not aromantic, as he's fallen in love with Beez-- which just emphasizes that, for thousands of years, this sort of thing was never an option for him and another need that was not being met.
Michael is correct in S2 that Gabriel doesn't have a desk to clean out. He has a single, white pedestal without any drawers onto which the occasional file folder can be placed if someone has a meeting with him. (One wonders if Heaven only even has physical file folders as an excuse to have the occasional barely-there table just to break up the expanse of empty space to keep them all from going mad.) Aside from his clothes, he does not possess a single material object, as he's not allowed to.
Imagine not owning a single book. Not having a favorite blanket. Not having a favorite mug. Not having lost these things but having never had them before at all. No presents because you have no friends. The first person to ever give Gabriel something is Beez and that hasn't happened by this point in the story.
We know Aziraphale understands this. Aziraphale wanted a home with a door he could lock and privacy enough to try to live a life of sorts with his partner and a place to store the material objects that he owns. His own, cluttered desk with a million little nooks and shelves. A chair, books, a bed he can be in with Crowley without Head Office finding out and killing them for it. That's the genius bookshop embassy that Gabriel will run to when he finally cracks but Gabriel himself?
He's had almost none of that kind of freedom for himself.
Aziraphale knows what it is to have nothing of your own and that's why he gives Gabriel his angel mug. He's literally writing Jim's name on everything that Jim owns because he knows that while it's not about material objects, Gabriel doesn't have anything of his own. It's about choice-- down here on Earth, Gabriel can choose to call himself something different. He can have a more peaceful and satisfying job and books to read and a favorite drink and a mug of his own and friends to talk to. He can try the hot chocolate and the tiny dinners if he wants without anyone judging him or trying to kill him for it. He can be free to be his own person on Earth.
Consider the contrasting shots of Gabriel in 1.04, shown staring out the window of his prison walls at the Earth he was supposed to destroy... and Jim waking up on Earth, in cozy pajamas, to look out the window of the bookshop while making himself a warm, morning drink in his own mug.
Kind of makes you want to hug him, doesn't it?
Back in 1.04, though? The scene in Gabriel's office showed us what he's up against Up there and just how isolated he is at that time. Michael is the one angel you'd think he'd be able to trust, as they've been through it together for thousands of years, but we see very clearly why Gabriel does not trust them.
Michael is a hypocrite. They talk to the demons unofficially and Gabriel has been protecting them for it from The Metatron. Yet, at the first opportunity, Michael throws Aziraphale under the bus by reporting him for doing the very same thing they are. After S2, we see that this is also a swipe at Gabriel himself-- Michael knows that Gabriel knows about Crowley and Aziraphale and has never done anything about it, even though he "should" by the rules of Heaven. This isn't just Michael selling out Aziraphale-- it's Michael taking a shot at Gabriel himself. It's a reminder that there's always someone who seeks favor with The Metatron watching and Gabriel is completely trapped-- more so, even, than Crowley & Aziraphale.
He doesn't have any choice but to tell Michael that they can pursue it but he's gloriously bitchy about all of it. He doesn't so much as blink in telling Michael that he's sure there's "a perfectly innocent explanation"-- meaning: sure, go ahead, take a shot, but I am in charge and I will continue to be doing fuck all about Aziraphale boffing Bildad the Shuite, Michael.
He also is sly as all hell when he reminds them that "there are no back channels"-- by 'back channels', you mean you're calling your demon boyfriend, have I got that right, Michael? The one I happily pretend you don't have? God, you're awful...
Michael wants Gabriel's job and the brownie points with The Metatron so they're pursuing Aziraphale to show that they're willing to go after subversive angels and they're threatening Gabriel with exposing that he's known for ages about Aziraphale and did nothing-- which makes him an accessory to it. Gabriel has no other choice but to tell Michael to keep pursuing it but it's an example of how the wolves are always circling for Gabriel and how trapped he really is. His only defense is his you're going to regret fucking with me attitude.
As Michael leaves, the scene ends on Gabriel picking up one of the pictures of Crowley and Aziraphale. He's drawn to the one of them sitting together where?
Where Gabriel himself just was.
In the park.
What would it be like to live like they do? he seems to be wondering, for probably the millionth time. How much longer am I going to be able to keep them alive? Am I going to go down with them?
Nah. It's their turn now, Gabriel...
#ineffable husbands#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#good omens meta#good omens 2#the archangel fucking gabriel#gabriel good omens
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Yacht Girl Summer - Chapter Three / Saturday - George Russell x Reader, Toto Wolff x Reader
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: Nothing spicy yet. This is going to be a slow burn and if you're uncomfortable with the idea of two-timing don't read this.
Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction. No use of Y/N and minimal descriptions because I want everyone/anyone to be able to enjoy this.
SATURDAY MORNING
Having woken up early again you slipped out of bed and left George snoozing, throwing on your favourite sundress and some light make-up just in case a certain Team Principal happened to already be at breakfast. You chastised yourself for even allowing yourself to think this way, knowing that your loving boyfriend was innocently sleeping a few metres away.
Stealing yourself, you promised that it was just a crush and besides, Toto was a few decades your senior and likely was not interested in you in that way. He was just being friendly, right?
Making your way to breakfast you were a little disappointed to find the table empty. Perhaps it was a sign. As you started to get lost in your thoughts, your solitude was interrupted by the arrival of James and Cara. They were perfectly nice people but again, several decades your senior and the small talk had already started to grate. God knows how you were going to survive seven days of this.
Raising a smile, you bid them a good morning.
“Morning,” said James, sitting down across from you, Cara to the other side. “How did you sleep? George not up yet?”
“So well actually, our cabin is lovely.” you said, adding, “George was fast asleep so I figured since it’s his holiday, I should leave him for a bit.”
“Good good, ours too.” chimed in Cara, “That poor young man, he must be off of his feet.”
Just as you were about to reply, a deep voice boomed from behind you, “Good morning everyone.”
You gulped. It was Toto. As you all murmured in response, he settled down beside you, not taking his usual spot at the head of the table, “Do you mind if I sit here? It feels more sociable.” he said.
“Of course not, it’s your boat,” you said laughing. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a baby.” said Toto, “I take it George is still in bed?”
“Yep,” you said, “I was just saying to these two that I let him have a lie-in. He’s been exhausted from work lately.” Realising you were talking to his boss, you backtracked somewhat, “Although I know you and James must feel it too.”
Nodding, James chimed in, “Yes and no, we’re older, we’re used to it. Toto will agree with me on this.”
“Thank you for calling me an old man.” said Toto curtly, chiding James as he poured his morning coffee, “Would you like some?” he added, gesturing at the empty cup in front of you.
“Yes please,” you replied, “Thank you, Toto.”
“It’s no bother,” he said, flashing you a grin before offering the same to James and Cara.
– – –
You’d almost finished your breakfast by the time George joined you, John and Marion having joined your group shortly after Toto. Your boyfriend still looked half asleep and faced some gentle teasing from his colleagues on the state of his hair as he settled down in the empty chair at the head of the table.
“Forget your hairbrush?” asked James, laughing at his own comment.
“I’m not sure if that’s from sleep,” added John, with a sly look to you, insinuating that you might have been involved.
Uncomfortably blushing you felt Toto’s eyes on you once again as you mumbled a denial, “He wishes.”
“Indeed,” said Toto under his breath, giving you a strange look.
Now it was George’s turn to blush as he laughed off his bedhead, denying the accusations.
Quickly conversation turned to the day’s plans. As promised, Toto had planned another snorkelling excursion, this time to a spot nearby with an underwater trail that promised some interesting sights.
Tired from yesterday’s activities, George and John were less than keen to join, George turning to you and asking quietly, “Can we just chill today?”
A little disappointed to miss out on snorkelling you felt torn. You didn’t particularly want to spend the day trapped on the yacht with George, John and your feelings but equally you would feel very guilty if you went without him.
“Sure.” you said, “Or maybe I could go in the morning and come back in the afternoon?”
Overhearing your conversation, Toto offered the solution, “Why don’t we all just go in the afternoon? The water will be warmer and we can all chill.”
The group were agreeable to his suggestion and resolved to have a lazy morning in preparation for an activity-filled afternoon.
SATURDAY AFTERNOON
Having spent the morning tanning on the sunloungers on the sun deck beside George, you were well and truly relaxed. Reluctant to admit it, George had made the right call to skip another early morning adventure and you were content as you basked in the warm rays, slathered in your favourite shimmering body oil.
“I told you you’d love it,” said George from beside you.
“Well, I could get used to this yacht life,” you said, not entirely lying.
George flipped onto his side to face you, “Maybe one day we can get our own yacht.”
Raising your eyebrow, you countered, “I’m not sure if we’re quite in this league.” before humouring him slightly, “Maybe a small one.”
“Great, I’ll pull up on my pedalo next Summer,” said George with a laugh. “But you’re going to have to pedal.”
“Fuck off.” you said teasingly, “I’ll push you off the slide.”
He leaned forward to squeeze you around the waist as he laughed at your protests. Guilt flooded through you as you considered the fact that this might be your last Summer together. You had no doubt you’d have a nice life with George and he clearly wanted a future but something was off.
Ever the mindreader, at the very moment the thought passed through your mind, a broad shadow loomed over you. Looking up, it was none other than Toto, smirking down at the two of you fooling around.
“Lunch is served, lovebirds,” he said, interrupting George’s shower of affection.
“Thanks, boss.” said George, sitting up and righting himself, ever obedient to his Team Principal, “We’ll be right down.”
“No rush,” said Toto, still smirking as he turned to return down the stairs.
“How long was he standing there?” asked George, a worried look on his face.
“No idea.” you said, “Why does it matter?”
“I don’t know.” George’s face dropped, “I’m trying to be professional. He is my boss after all.”
“George, you guys are considerably closer than most working relationships, I don’t think he minds you relaxing.” you offered, knowing that this was no lie.
“I guess.” said George, pulling on his shirt before slapping his knees as he stood up “Right, shall we head down?”
“Sure,” you said, your mind still elsewhere.
– – –
That afternoon had flown by, with lunch being a late and lazy affair, the perfect preamble to your snorkelling adventure.
Going back on his word, George had decided to stay on the yacht with John and James, leaving you, Cara and Marion to go snorkelling with Toto, the stoic Austrian getting more and more flustered as the three of you teased him about it being a girls trip.
“You’re one of the girls Toto!” said Cara, a little tipsy from your boozy rosé-fuelled lunch. Possibly not the wisest idea before going snorkelling but the currents were gentle in the Med and you had two crew members with you on the motor launch to make sure nothing went awry.
“You secretly love it, Toto,” teased Marion. “Besides, I want to know, do you have any new lady friends on the go? I met Sandrine at Imola but John said she’s no longer on the scene. I’m surprised you haven’t been snapped up.”
Your ears picked up at his tidbit, you hadn’t considered the fact that Toto was probably entertaining women. You wondered what his type was. Probably tall and elegant. Someone to match his stature.
Blushing furiously, Toto retorted, “Not at the moment. I’m too old for dating. And too busy.”
Marion scoffed, “I don’t believe that for a single second. John’s told me some stories, Mr Wolff.”
Going even redder, Toto looked down at the floor, “Well that was only after my divorce was finalised…”
“So I heard,” said Cara looking at him furtively, “We’ll have a think, maybe we can set you up with someone.”
Not knowing Toto as well as the other two women, you’d remained silent throughout the conversation, until now, “I’m sure Toto can find his own girlfriend.” you said with a laugh, trying to end their plight.
Toto raised his eyebrows at you, “Well, to be fair my track record is not so great.”
“I’m sure you’ll survive,” you teased, the other two women nodding in agreement.
“You’re a handsome guy, Toto,” said Cara, her face soft, “Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
“Steady on Cara, your husband is back on the yacht.” teased Marion, lightly tapping her arm jokingly.
Laughing along with the two older women you locked eyes with Toto once more, his dark eyes indecipherable.
– – –
The water was lovely until it wasn’t. You were a strong swimmer but you quickly found yourself battling a strong current as you fought your way back to the motor launch, swimming and making no ground. Fuck.
You could just make out Cara and Marion on the boat ahead, the two of them having quickly given up due to the rougher-than-usual conditions and continued their boozy afternoon. You had stupidly followed the snorkelling trail all the way around and now found yourself caught out. Toto was nowhere to be seen and you were too far away from the boat to signal. Double fuck.
You could feel yourself tiring but knew that if you gave up you’d be swept further out so you soldiered on, making little ground when suddenly out of nowhere, an arm grabbed you around the waist, pulling you forward.
“Hey!” you said, getting a mouthful of sea water as you were taken totally by surprise.
“Need a hand?” a familiarly heavily accented voice asked. It was Toto.
“Maybe,” you said feebly, coughing up the last of the salty water you’d inhaled and letting him wrap his arms around you, pulling you effortlessly through the water and towards the boat. “Thank you, I was struggling there.”
“I could see,” he said kindly, his muscular arm holding you secure against his surprisingly solid body. Once again you chastised yourself, you had almost drowned yourself and were now busy thinking about Toto’s body.
The strong Austrian made quick work of getting you back to the motor launch, the crew clocking the fact you were in trouble and waiting attentively over the side of the boat to pull you on board. Toto somewhat unceremoniously scooped you up and pushed you back on, you trying your best not to think about the fact he’d just grabbed a handful of your ass to do so.
“Darling, are you okay?” Cara and Marion fussed over you, immediately draping a large stripy beach towel over your shoulders. You glanced up to see an equally sopping wet Toto clambering onto the boat, water clinging to his rash vest showcasing an impressive physique.
“Yes all good, thank you so much Toto.” you stood up, embracing him warmly and wrapping your towel around him. “Sorry I took the last dry towel, please have some!”
Looking bemused, he allowed you to extend the towel over his shoulder and sat down side by side with you. Cara and Marion looking equally amused at your exuberant display of thanks.
“It’s no problem.” he said bluntly, “What were you doing all the way out there?”
“I just followed the snorkel trail but the current picked up and I couldn’t get back so I drifted,” you said, now embarrassed that you’d managed to struggle with a simple trail. “Please don’t tell George, he will freak out.”
Looking even more amused, Toto put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, “These things happen, we won’t tell him. Right ladies?” he said, looking across at Cara and Marion.
“Of course we won’t darling,” said Marion kindly. “Here have some rosé, flush out that seawater.”
Smiling weakly you took the glass she offered and sipped contently, Toto’s arm still resting on your shoulders. You were grateful for the extra warmth as there was a sudden chill in the air.
Content cuddling up to Toto, you found the journey back to the yacht all too quick. As the motor launch pulled up alongside the yacht and Marion and Cara hot-footed it back onboard, you shivered as Toto took back his arm, gently placing the towel back around your shoulders, “Here you go,” he said kindly, his eyes crinkling.
“Thank you again, Toto,” you said, standing up to walk back along the passerelle to the yacht.
“Don’t mention it,” he said, following closely behind.
As you made it back onto the deck, you were suddenly very aware that you were alone with Toto once more, the ladies having disappeared inside and the crew busy slotting the motor launch back in place.
“Did you have fun at least?” he asked, coming to a stop close by your side.
“I did.” you said, smiling, “Even if I swallowed a bit too much seawater.”
“Sorry about that,” he said, clutching the back of his neck with his large hand, looking slightly embarrassed by his actions.
“Oh gosh, not your fault at all,” you said, reaching out to pat him on the arm, completely misjudging it and ending up pawing his firm chest.
Toto looked down at your hand curiously, the tension palpable. Surely this was not one-sided? You tried to shake your thoughts but couldn’t break the connection.
It wasn’t until you heard George’s laugh travelling from the other side of the boat that you snapped out of the trance, a flicker of disappointment on Toto’s face as you dropped your hand back down.
“Right, well like I said, we will keep it between us,” he promised, turning his head to greet George.
“Hey guys,” said George, sidling up to you, merry from drinking all afternoon, “How was it?”
As you began to tell George what you’d seen, you kept sneaking the odd glance at Toto, wondering if there was something there. Only time would tell.
Taglist: @prettiest-at-the-party @noooway555 @annewithaneofgreengable @xoscar03 @totowolfffcheco
#toto wolff fanfic#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff x you#toto wolff#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#toto wolff x y/n#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#george russell x reader#George Russell x you
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Fond of You
Summary: Cursed by Shadow Magic and a bomb inside of himself, Gale of Waterdeep takes on one more challenge. Prequal to my longer series 'Of Waterdeep' that I'll be writing little bits of here and their that reflect events that take place in-game.
Gale x Tav (Tavriel, human sorcerer female, described)
M/F
Warnings- Spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3
Read here on Ao3
Gale wasn’t used to being nervous. He excelled at almost every single thing he had ever attempted, and when he was denied a request, he had always figured out a way to get what he wanted. He was privileged and talented, he was ambitious, so nervous was not a normal feeling for him to have. But tonight he was nervous. He was very nervous. He felt stupid about being nervous, but he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He had just been tasked with an impossible task. Self-sacrifice, by divine request. He had been given control back to his body, but only for this. To let the synthetic, cryptic magic that had a hold over his whole life for the past year finally be under his control, until he was able to unleash it. He was given something back, his autonomy, yes, but he was also given back his nerve. There was something, through all of their groups adventures and misadventures he had been pining to do. He wanted more than anything to remove the tadpole from his head and the evil of this cult from Faerun, but not every second of his time was thinking and hatching new ways to do this. He was a human, a human who hadn’t had a lot of social activity in a long time, and now a very loud part of him was dying for more.
‘You look like a wet baby cow.’ Gale’s face turned bright red and he turned to his left. Astarion had snuck up on him at the campfire. That was a very annoying habit the elf had. He had a smarmy little look on his face.
‘I don’t think I want to know what that is supposed to mean,’ Gale remarked, with a decent amount of snark in his voice. Astarion’s smirk grew.
‘It's supposed to mean exactly what I said. You, Gale of Waterdeep, look like a baby cow who has been drenched, pining over at the wilderness. Mummy is coming right back, not to worry,’ he said and tutted playfully and Gale sighed out. His nerves were certainly gone, now that he was talking to Astarion. The vampire was charming, of course he was. The vampire was handsome, of course he was. But the vampire was a snobby asshole who had no idea when to shut up. It was very annoying how Astarion was truly loved by all, but certainly the first one fed to a pack of gnolls if a sacrifice was needed. Gale looked back at the thicket of trees, trying to ignore Astarion. ‘Fine, I was trying to be nice, so now I’ll be honest. Could you please go to her, confess your love to her and rut in a bush somewhere so we no longer have to deal with the sad baby cow face?’ Gale turned bright red again, his ears hot. He shot a look at Astarion, who was no longer smirking. He looked annoyed. ‘Although, now that I think about it, newly matched Gale might be more annoying than love-lost pining Gale.’ Gale stood up from his spot in front of the fire, trying to ignore Astarion, but the elf had one more damned thing to say. ‘I don’t know why you’re so worked up about it, Gale. She’s very….giving,’ he said and Gale stopped dead. He had been wanting to just go away, walk before he did or said anything too stupid, but Astarion had gotten under his skin.
‘After that little scrap we just had with those shadow demons, do you really think I’m the one you want to anger, Astarion?’ He asked and Astarion sat up straighter. A fight just won, luckily, and although no one was really keeping track of kills, Gale’s recent performance in the battlefield made him a fire wielding menace. Astarion laughed a little and put his hands up.
‘Oh, now, Gale, you know I was just-’
‘And she is giving. She’s very giving. Both you and I are very lucky she’s so giving, or I’d be in some remote cave in The Underdark and you’d already been captured by Gur,’ he added, pointing a very stern finger at the elf. Astarion didn’t get another word in before Gale walked away in search of the very person they were talking about, Tav. Tavriel. She was the very point, the epicenter of his nerves that evening, and he would face her, head on. He found her where she said she would be, at the river, washing her clothing.
She knelt over the water, scrubbing fabric. Gale watched her for a moment. He had the instinct to turn around and leave her alone, because how could he do this? How could he confess to her? Confess to her that he adored her, he was falling for her. It wasn’t much of a secret, and Tavriel had, on two occasions, suggested that the two of them become closer, but both times he let the moment slip from his fingers. How could he be so foolish? Both times he had been overcome with worry that the Orb in his chest would detonate if he became too excitable. Spending a night with Tavriel, or even just having her kiss him would be exciting enough. Although, it would have been a very fine way to go, he would never want to put her in any danger. But there wasn’t any danger anymore. No more sating the dark magic within to keep him alive. He only had to command it, he controlled it now. And now he wanted a little more control over his life.
Tavriel was in a nightgown, sort of. A linen dress, but nothing on her feet. That was always the strangest thing about Tav, when all was calm, she never wore anything on her damned feet. He always meant to ask her if she needed shoes, but he didn’t know if that was a delicate question or not. Her hair was still up in a slick braid, it was always that way. He imagined for a moment what it might look like down and he shook his head. He took a few more steps towards her and cleared his throat. She jumped a little and turned to look at him. She grinned. He couldn’t help but copy her.
‘Hello Gale,’ she said and tilted her head. ‘Did you need anything?’ She asked. Oh he did indeed, but he shook his head.
‘No, sorry, I don’t want to disturb you, I only wanted to…chat,’ he said and her grin widened. She nodded her head to space next to her and Gale walked over. She loved chatting with Gale. They were very different people, at first she thought Gale thought very little of her. He was a renowned wizard, a sage, she was a sorcerer. She was very powerful, but she was not as learned as he. Her magic just came to her, but he understood it. He would have had to or he wouldn’t be able to control the Weave at all. Wizards and sorcerers were always known to butt heads. But Tavriel liked Gale. She liked him a lot. He was also just joyful to listen to. When he was proficient at something, he was a showman, and it really amused her.
‘Am I getting another lesson?’ She asked as he sat next to her.
‘That was not the plan, but if my lady is requesting one,’ he said and she giggled. His lady. She knew that was just how Gale spoke, but it still made her blush.
‘What was the plan then?’ She asked him, wringing out a pair of socks.
‘Make an ass of myself,’ he said and Tavriel snorted and shook her head, placing her socks in a little basket.
‘Now what is that supposed to mean?’ She asked him, turning her attention to him fully. She had such bright blue eyes, round features, freckles across her face, she struck him so. Gale looked down for a moment.
‘I’ve been…waiting to tell you something for a while now. For a long while now-’
‘Yes?’ She interrupted, leaning in closer to him. He looked back up at her and he thought he felt his heart stop. When he was younger, before he shared a bed with the goddess of magic, Gale was very easily swayed by pretty girls. And he was charming, handsome and quite well off. Girls used to swarm him, and he got himself in trouble with that a lot. But now, a man in his early forties, a man who had experienced more than many men in history had ever experienced, he was repeatedly struck by this little sorcerer. He had planned a little speech for her, his confession, but it was gone now. He could barely blink. She looked so earnest. It would be obvious to the blind that Tavriel was very keen on him, the most logical part of Gale’s brain knew she was. But he couldn’t seem to admit it to her that he liked her as well, more than likely, he liked her more than she could realize. He might have loved her. ‘Gale?’ She asked as he was taking so much time to think. He blinked and cleared his throat.
‘We’ve been together for a while now-no, I mean adventuring together not-’ he shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment. ‘And in that time I’ve grown…very fond of you,’ he said and opened his eyes. He searched Tavriel’s eyes, why were they so kind to him? The truth was, she was desperate. She had flirted with him twice, both times being rather forward, as she had never been a shy person. She felt very comfortable around Gale, but as two of her advances were met with nerves and shyness, she refused to push further. Their group had to get along and work together more than anything, so she would not create a strain or awkward drift between them by being too forward.
‘Really?’ She asked him softly and he nodded. ‘How fond?’ She asked, her voice a whisper. That question gave him a little relief. He felt stupid being so nervous, she didn’t need to spell it out for him to know how much she cared for him. His face grew a kind smile.
‘Very fond,’ he told her, his voice soft and low, speaking just for her. She felt her heart flip and she looked down at the grass and mud beneath them. She was grinning so wide her face would become sore.
‘I am very happy to hear that,’ she said after a moment of composing herself and she looked back at him. Her freckled cheeks were red. ‘Finally,’ she added and he gave her a little laugh. It was bold, but it was very true, finally indeed. The two shared a nervous giggle and Tavriel glanced out on the water. ‘What now, then?’ She asked and bit her bottom lip. His brown eyes followed her movement and made eye contact with her again.
‘I’d walk through a pit of lava if it meant I could kiss you,’ he admitted and Tavriel needed no more permission. The sorcerer flung herself up to meet Gale’s lips with hers. He was taken aback, but did not waste a second of time. The last time his lips were met with another mortals, well, that was a long time ago. His physical relationship with his patron was different. Everything was illusionary, made of Weave, nothing true. Nothing mortal. He had forgotten the little tingle he felt when kissing another. The way he could hear her breathing, how she smelled. He kissed her back, promising himself that a first kiss should be just that, a first kiss. He didn’t need to make more of it, it was special on its own. He placed a hand on her cheek and lifted his lips from hers, but touched his forehead down to keep in contact with her. Her eyes were so beautiful and bright. She looked so happy.
‘Was that worth a lava pit?’ She whispered and he smiled and hummed a little. She giggled at his reaction and reached her hand out slowly. She was reaching just above his wrapshirt, at his mark, his brand. She’d called it a tattoo before, that certainly wasn’t what it was. ‘Is this going to be alright?’ She asked and he nodded. Although his stomach and heart were both flipping wildly, the Netherese Orb was silent among the rest of his organs. She reached further and touched it gently and Gale let out a faint whimper. Her eyes grew and he shook his head.
‘Sorry, it’s been a long time,’ he said and she nodded and let her hand drop.
‘I’ll go slow,’ she said and he shook his head.
‘Please don’t,’ he asked and she smiled. ‘Since our kidnapping, it’s become very clear to me that every single day could be our last. Even before the kidnapping, to be fair, but we have had ourselves mortal perils galore as of late. I don’t want to waste any more time than I already have. I don’t want to rush or pressure, but Tavriel…I cannot stop thinking about you. Since you weakened my portal on that first day you have strengthened my heart,’ he told her and her face melted. He was a sweet man. Tavriel did have a little secret, one she would probably have to admit to him, with all of the other confessions. Tavriel had never had a male partner before. She liked men, but was much more comfortable with women. There was something so different about her wizard, she just felt so comfortable around him. She never wanted him out of her sight, he made her laugh. He was so kind and positive, she adored him. She leaned up for another kiss and sighed happily when she felt him kiss her back. It was a new feeling, kissing someone with a beard. Where Tavriel was from, facial hair wasn’t common at all. She loved Gale’s beard. He groomed it well, it matched his beautiful hair and his masculine facial features. She wanted him, she wanted to take him to her tent and hold him, touch him, anything, but she would need a bit more time to prepare herself for that.
‘You are a very good kisser,’ she whispered lightly and he chuckled and sat up properly.
‘You’re a bad liar,’ he responded and she giggled and bit her lip.
‘Could we take a walk? Get out of the mud?’ She asked and he nodded, getting himself up with a grunt, but helped her up quickly. She took his hand and stood up with him. ‘How are you feeling?’ She asked him, not letting his hand go, not just yet.
He looked up at her question, up at the terrifying night sky. They were in tents under the protection of dim torches and the power of a light cleric. The lands around them were cursed in shadow weave and nothing but despair lingered. An hour ago, he would have given her a very clear answer to her question. He was feeling dread, anxiety, fear. Perils aside, Gale was usually very positive. Tavriel could attest her bravery to Gale’s positivity. Always making light of each situation helped her face many things in these past days she wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.
‘I don’t think there is a very good answer to that question,’ he said, looking back at her. ‘But after talking with Eliminster and now you…it’s hard for me to think about what lies just beyond our camp,’ he said and she gave his hand a little squeeze.
‘Elimister’s message left you…happy?’ She asked and he laughed hard and shook his head.
‘Gods no! I mean yes, there was a sliver of hope and relief knowing I would no longer be a danger to myself and all of you, but the rest, the bigger part of that message, happiness is not the emotion I would use to describe how I am feeling,’ he said and she nodded. That made complete sense to her. She had been present during Elminster’s visit. She knew how she could describe her emotions on that visit. Anger. She was still angry about it. ‘However, if we could just leave this conversation to what we are talking about now, I’d be very happy,’ he said and Tavriel nodded. She and Gale hadn’t spoken much about Gale’s new divine mission. Tavriel was convinced Gale was going to go ahead with it. Tavriel would absolutely not allow him to. ‘Because you, you make me happy Tavriel, happier than I’ve been in…well over a year.’ Tavriel squeezed his hand.
‘I’ve never envied all of that about you Gale. You were Msytra’s chosen, her lover, a renowned, powerful and talented wizard, yes, but…to be and feel such loneliness, it breaks my heart to think of you like that. You’re a wonderful man, and tadpole or otherwise, I’m very lucky to know you. To have you in my life,’ Tavriel spoke as they began to walk. ‘We all are,’ she finished and Gale chuckled.
‘Well, you know how to get to a man’s heartstrings, don’t you?’ He asked her and she grinned. She looked down at their interlocked hands and was instantly reminded of one of the first times Gale and her spent any time together. His little Weave lesson. It was the first time Gale had ever gotten a hint that Tavriel was keen on him. They had opened communication between them, their thoughts in a moment of comforting Weave. She might have been thinking about what it would be like to take a romantic walk with Gale, hand in hand.
‘Hmm…just like that moment we shared. Perhaps I have a little talent in Divination,’ she said haughtily, and Gale chuckled and looked down at their hands as well.
‘I used to think very little of Divination when I was younger, but I have dabbled in it. I find most wizards who claim they are sufficient in it are liars, making most people skeptical of the art,’ he told her and she hummed in response.
‘I assume your practice in Divination did not give you fair warning about our misadventures,’ she said, almost being hopeful, as if Gale had some knowledge hidden away. He shook his head.
‘No, believe it or not, locked away in my little tower, I never exactly wanted to see my future,’ he said, his voice a little low. Tavriel sighed and stopped walking. She faced Gale and he frowned.
‘I’m sorry, I know you said you didn’t want to, but Gale, we are going to find another way, I promise. We’ve gotten through a lot together and we can certainly-’ Gale lifted his hand and she stopped talking. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered and Gale just shook his head.
‘We haven’t found whatever it is that is The Absolute. There is quite a high chance that when we face it, The Orb will seem like a gift,’ he told her and she frowned. ‘Let us have this discussion then, please,’ he said and she chewed on her bottom lip. She would do anything to keep Gale safe. Allowing him to detonate was absolutely not in her list of possible outcomes. He had said that if Mystra and Elminster said this was the only way, then it was, and Tavriel just stared at the jarring hole in that solution. What if Gale had already died? What if they failed him in their journey so far and he never satiated The Orb with a magical item? What if the nautiloid crash killed him? What if his body gave into ceremorphosis? Then all of life was doomed? She refused to believe it, there was always another way. The Orb might be an easy way out, but it wouldn’t be for Tavriel. She would not allow him to be a sacrifice.
‘I’m sorry that I’m being selfish Gale, you’re going through enough, you don’t need me nagging at you,’ she said softly and sighed.
‘Yes, damn you for giving me something worth living for,’ he told her with a little smile. She looked up at him and half smiled back.
‘You have plenty to live for,’ she told him and he grunted. ‘No no, you speak very highly of your mother. I don’t know if I can say I have the same relationship with mine, but I have a feeling yours would be devastated if she were to lose you,’ she said and he laughed hard at that and he nodded. ‘And Tara? Your tressym? Surely you’d like to keep your best friend happy,’ she said with a confident smile. He shook his head, but he was smiling.
‘I could imagine the three of you getting along quite well,’ he said and smirked. ‘Stubborn, steely, all of you, and brilliant. And much too kind to me,’ he added and she nudged him. She looked at him, trying to find a way to lighten the mood and change the subject. She would not let it go, but she would for tonight.
‘So, how about that lecture?’ She asked him and he lit up a little.
‘Really?’ He asked her and she nodded.
‘Yes, and I will practice and perfect it, give us something to do tonight and…future nights,’ she said and he grinned.
‘How could I possibly refuse that, now…what shall she be taught then?’ He asked and their hands released as he brought one up to his chin. ‘Your current talents all line up in the elements, so let us use that to our advantage. What element do you feel most natural in?’ He said and she tilted her head.
‘Fire I have the most fun with, but my body seems to almost default to lightning, so I’m not exactly sure how to answer that,’ she said and he nodded.
‘Always knew you to be a firecracker,’ he told her and she grinned. ‘But lightening could be a great way to demonstrate the study of Evocation, it is my specialty. The study of controlling offensive elemental magic,’ he told her and lifted his hand. From the ground to his hand, bright blue bolts of lightning crackled. ‘You or any of our companions have never been hurt by anything I’ve casted, correct?’ He asked and she nodded. ‘That is by design. Now, go on,’ he said and nodded to his hand. ‘Reach out to it,’ he said and she obeyed. Lightning would not hurt Tavriel, so she had no fear. As she did, the flow of electricity seemed to bend away from her, like oil meeting water. She glanced up at him and he was grinning, very proud of himself indeed. The lightning disappeared. ‘Now you,’ he said and waved his hand. Tavriel chewed on her lip and raised her hand, copying Gale. Without much of a thought, angry lightning erupted from her palm and connected easily to the ground. Her magic was a bit more wild, but the same spell either way. Gale put his hand close and she hummed.
‘Wait,’ she said and placed her other hand under the first, causing the lightning to go between her hands. She figured she would have more control of it this way. He nodded.
‘Oh, good thinking, very clever,’ he said and her sparks brightened at his compliment. ‘Now, concentrate on your target. You only want to hit your hand, yes? Anger, you want to use anger, whatever might give you that feeling, use that to concentrate,’ he told her and she blinked a few times. She closed her eyes, not having a very easy time channeling her anger. But then she found it. Mystra. How ironic. ‘Do you have it?’ He asked her and she nodded and opened her eyes, looking at him. She felt electricity in her hair. Oh, she was rather angry. But she would need to channel that to her hand. Her left hand was now the lady of mysteries, goddess of magic. Another god to demand a mortal sacrifice their life for ‘the greater good’ because a god is too lazy to care enough. To care about those who gave everything to them, so they could have their damned power. A rogue spark flew, but Gale lifted his hand, trusting her. Gently, he lifted and very subtly, her sparks shot away from his hand. It did not bend gracefully like Gale’s demonstration, but it broke, as if his hand was cutting her magic. ‘Oh, very good. I’ve not yet seen it like that…’ he said and she looked back up at him, smiling at his compliment, but as her concentration shifted, so did her anger, and poor Gale bore the brunt of it. He moved back quickly, holding his hand and shouted out.
‘Oh!’ Tavriel squeaked and took his hand quickly, hissing. ‘Oh my gods, Gale, I’m so sorry,’ she said hurriedly, checking his hand. A little scorched for sure. She blew icy breath on the wound, just enough to cool him down.
‘It’s alright, I’m alright, I should have known better, but by Oghma’s lute, what were you casting?’ He asked. ‘I demonstrated a mere witch bolt,’ he told her and she frowned up at him and shrugged.
‘Lightning,’ she said in a soft voice, feeling horribly guilty. Gale looked at her from a moment and chuckled.
‘Well, that showed me,’ he said and laughed. He examined his hand quickly and shook his head. ‘It is no matter, I am fine, and I was preparing for this experiment not to work, please stop giving me that look,’ he said, still laughing a little. Tavriel felt embarrassment rise in her cheeks. Gale recognized that very quickly and lifted his mildly scorched hand to her chin, two fingers gently lifting it. That made Tavriel feel a whole different set of nervous emotions. ‘I’m fine,’ he told her, smiling happily. ‘Come now, let us try once more, concentrate this time, don’t let me distract you,’ he told her and she nodded. ‘I know I’m devastatingly charming, but you must focus,’ he said playfully, but there was a shallow overconfidence in his voice. Tavriel smiled and shook her head. She gave way to a giggle and refocused, lifting her hands once more.
The lesson only resulted in two more little zaps to Gale’s hands, and the two decided to walk back to camp. Gale happily carried Tavriel’s laundry. Back at camp, Shadowheart and Astarion sat at the fire, both with goblets in their hands. It was easily assumed they were not drinking the same liquid. They were chatting, but once they caught sight of Tavriel and Gale they stopped. Shadowheart smiled politely, but Astarion was less subtle.
‘There you are! We were getting so worried!’ He said with a smirk and Gale scowled.
‘You look it,’ Tavriel said sarcastically and walked to her little tent. Gale followed her and she took her little hamper from him. ‘Thank you, you really didn’t need to,’ she told him and placed it down so that she could hang her clothing out to dry. Gale smiled down at her.
‘I have to begin to pay you back, for giving me such a magical night,’ he told her softly. ‘I do hope it is not the last of such nights,’ he said and Tavriel smiled up at him.
‘It’ll take more than a century old curse to stop me,’ she told him, just above a whisper and Gale’s smile grew. It was nice to be wanted like that. That Tavriel wanted to be around him. It had been a long time since he had felt that sort of comfort.
‘Rest well, Tavriel,’ he told her and she leaned up for one last kiss of the night. He kissed her forehead, being polite about the few companions that, although were decently far away, were staring at them. Gale, although very excited to share his affection with Tavriel, was raised very differently than most of his companions. He was raised to be a gentleman, gentlemen did not commit acts of public affection. Though their camp in Shadow Cursed Reithwin wasn’t exactly polite society like Waterdeep and Tavriel certainly was not raised to be a gentle lady. She furrowed her brows and leaned up more, leaving him with a sweet little kiss. Nothing to excite anyone over. Gale was not expecting that at all and was a little taken aback by it. It was welcomed, very welcomed, of course. He blinked down at her.
‘Good night Gale,’ she whispered and smiled, planting her feet back on the ground. He was bright red and he turned to his tent, hearing a faint little giggle behind him. Tavriel happily went back to her laundry and was immediately biraged by Shadowheart. The half-elf was a little tipsy, which usually made her snarky, but she looked as joyful as Tavriel felt.
‘Well well well, finally time that spark was finally ignited,’ she said and Tavriel giggled and hushed Shadowheart.
‘I think he’s a little embarrassed,’ she said softly and Shadowheart just kept smiling.
‘I can imagine anyone would be a little nervous after all that time in self-isolation, you can’t exactly blame him,’ she said, very cheerful. Tavriel frowned and shook her head.
‘I don’t, I blame myself. I’m not exactly shy myself,’ she said and Shadowheart’s grin grew.
‘Then you will complete him. And him you, most importantly, of course,’ she said and Tavriel nodded. She hoped her companion was correct on that front. She glanced in the direction of Gale’s tent, the usual purple glow peering through the door flap. Tavriel had seen a lot in the last month, she’d changed a bit as well. She wasn’t confident all of her companions and herself would make it to the end of this adventure, this battle against the Absolute. But she knew one thing, she loved that gods damned wizard.
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Song of the Day: May 12
"Howlin' for You” by The Black Keys
#song of the day#made just the weirdest dish for dinner. got the tofu texture wrong and it fully dissolved into the sauce. not bad but /very/ unexpected#Nick cut the grass and did not cut my sunflowers. my impatiens have lost all their flowers but the leaves look very healthy still#gonna have to text the guy to come back and fix the shower drain. not looking forward to that exchange. 'again?' 'yes again' 'but again??'#maybe gonna see if my housemates will sit through Delicious in Dungeon with me?#I've been watching it with kaylithographica and it's so good! we're cat time now and I'm excited! full party acquired!#I was talking about how good it is and Duncan mentioned he hasn't started it yet (he has read the manga)#Nick and Ronan haven't done either and maybe I could get everyone interested in seeing it together?#might be nice to have an activity we all do#and then absolutely unrelated to anything whatsoever is the song of the day#because you see. DA-DA DA-DAT-DA DA-DA DA-DAT-DA DA-DA DA-DAT-DA DA-DA DA-DAT-DA
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haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
#'ohh i saw white people still go out to rally for ukraine' yeah have you considered they are ukrainian or have ukrainian loved ones or uh#simply have humanity in their heart to care about several humanitarian tragedies in the world?#this is both aimed at a post i saw on here and at SEVERAL. MANY. twitterians with a thousand palestine flags all over their accounts spewing#misinformation hate and sometimes straight up russian propaganda tactics because they're this fucking insane#i don't care about sounding nice anymore by the way. i know my heart lies in the right place and i have the capacity to care about more than#one ongoing genocide of indigenous peoples#removed incidents of bad actors having a ukrainian flag on their backpack doing hateful shit does not somehow okay dismissing a genocide you#so vehemently claim to oppose. they are not ukrainians who are getting bombed on the daily for years#i saw a very lovely 🍉🕊️ lady denying holodomor and using literal russian talking points while patting herself on the back for being such#a good person. i saw one of the most popular leftie accs on twitter be actively anti-ukraine and using slurs. luckily we mass reported them#and they're gone#i'm no longer being careful with my words because i don't want to be misconstrued. i know my values go beyond twitter and tumblr#if i catch you in any way undermining the genocide of ukrainians or only bringing it up to point fingers and bitch i am blocking you forever#don't care how far this post might go cuz of ppls questionable use of the search function. and i didn't care to censor anything#like. masks off. just block me if this is your rhetoric
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Alex to Nigel or vice versa, whatever floats your boat. Despite their bad reputation, they'll always find ways to entice the other. Just like a game of cat and mouse. Thrilling and exciting.
#murderous intent#like minds 2006#like minds#alex forbes#nigel colbie#nigel colbie x alex forbes#alex forbes x nigel colbie#and what I mean when I say Game#I mean the things they do in bed#For all we know and observed. Nigel is a masochist. He likes pain. He likes the sting and the hit of someone's love.#He loves when he sees the bruises forming on his chest. shoulders. neck. He thrives for it. he live for it.#He's made to be bullied. he's meant to be thrown around mercilessly. He's meant to be broken.#But JUST FOR ALEX. Just for his Jack. and no one else. Because if it were for someone else he might have to treat them the same way he trea-#ted Susan. so#Don't fuck With Nigel unless you're Alex.#Alex has noticed the pattern whenever they have nightly activities and he hates to admit. He loves seeing him wrecked. Used. abused.#But on the other hand Alex wants to break Nigel's psyche by treating him with gentleness. Languidly. Softly.#He wants to see Nigel BEG Alex to break him. Use him till he's delirious. Ditch his feelings aside and see him nothing else than just a toy#to be used when be felt like it.#Alex wants to see Nigel beg. Wants to see him break down to tears as Alex rolls his hips gently. He wants to treat him nicely. Wants him to#experience tender love making. Just for once.#He'll reason with Nigel and his murderous intent on Alex for ever treating him nicely in bed later.#gudbye 😇
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I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal
I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).
All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security
And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.
#struggled with not sounding *too* pretentious here#I don’t feel pretentious but I have a hard time talking about like. specific choices and things in any detail#like to my friends I just said what happened with a picture of my outfit and was like ‘and she gets it!’ and they were like ‘yeah!’#but to strangers I have to go into much more detail to get the point across#even though really it’s not like I’m putting all of that into it every day I just get up and go ‘i want to look nice today’#in accordance with my personal fashion preferences#and then having to explain those preferences like ‘my name is alagaisia midge maisel darkness way and I’m wearing vintage whatever’#i do look so cute though#i got these shoes last summer and then lost the heel cap off of one of them the very first time i wore them#finally took them in to have them fixed last week so I could wear them to the wedding#needed a deadline so that I would actually get around to it#i hate flying it’s really a testament of how much I love my friend that I’m flying#instead of driving ten hours to Nebraska#but it made more sense and to make sure i won’t be late or run into car trouble or anything#and I’ll stay looking nice right away instead of getting gross and sweaty in the car or having to change for bachelorette activities#i only know the bride so I’m definitely going to make a very specific impression on all of these strangers lol#i joked with my dad about adopting a trans Atlantic accent for the whole weekend just for shits and giggles#turns out you cannot do it over the top. have you ever listened to JFK’s ‘we choose to go to the moon’ speech#it’s very silly sounding#we had a good time saying things one might say at a bachelorette party in a goofy voice#‘we cho~ose to ohdah thihs maiule strippah… ahnd the othah things.. nawt becahse it is easyh..#but becawhse he is hahd’#highly recommend#mine#personal
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FROOTAYE FAVES SHOWCASE #001
@erindromeda's Video Game Music compilations!
My go-to whenever I'm looking for music to use in videos, ErinDromeda makes themed playlists using videogame music with a unique twist - each mix contains a story!
I really, REALLY appreciate how each playlist is labeled with a specific feeling, vibe, scenario. It's super helpful for my video making purposes! Most of the music in my videos has been found through an ErinDromeda mix, and I looove the variety of choice for anything you could need. You'll find both popular classics you could hear in any YouTube video, and obscure titles that you may have never of heard before!
I have to admit, I haven't been paying much attention to the story, but from what I've seen, It's genuinely interesting and fun. ErinDromeda uses videogame characters and adapts them to be parts of a large, continuous story that expands everytime a new mix is uploaded!
I discovered these playlists when one was recommended to me on the YouTube homepage - one of her more popular mixes, Video Game Music for Dancing in a Shopping Mall at 3AM! I enjoyed the variety and style, and ever since then I visit her channel whenever I'm in search of music for my videos.
For shorter versions of this and other FFS entries, check these out on twitter: https://twitter.com/frootaye/status/1647676584969531392
For videogame music lovers, storytelling enjoyers, video makers and curious viewers, check out ErinDromeda! :D
https://www.youtube.com/@ErinDromeda/featured
#i already posted a shorter version on twitter but i thought itd be fun#to write more expanded and thorough posts on tumblr!! showcasing videos and creations ive really enjoyed and maybe#somebody else will like them too :)#videogames#videogame music#youtube#playlist#gaming#gaming music#ErinDromeda#FROOTAYE FAVES SHOWCASE#music#from what ive seen erin is also active on tumblr so erin if youre reading this hi ty for your work#its so nice to be able to find what i need so easily and conveniently#i might post another faves showcase today?? ive been wanting to do one for eyezayar rdr2 arthur becomes series ill have to get on to writin#g that soon#there may be future changes and polishes bc ive never written one of these in such lenght (or many at all this is still the only one)#but i am working on the second one!!!!!! today or another day we will see#ok im rambling byeee#hopefully this shows up in tafgs
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standup class update: apparently the final for this class (and the thing we'll be working towards all semester) is crafting a fucking twenty-minute standup set??? as someone who has literally never done standup in front of people before this is terrifying but also exhilarating let's fucking gooooo!!!!!
#i'm like the only person in that class who's never done standup lmao but the professor isn't worried about me at all#especially bc he like actively encourages character standup (basically like kith style monologues) and other experimental stuff#like multimedia things and music#and i've done some pretty good powerpoint-comedy before and i've been working a lot on writing comedy songs recently#so i'm like ok cool for someone who's used to doing standup this experimental stuff might sound daunting#but for someone like me i'm like ok if i don't have to be myself 100% of the time. like if i can rely on a powerpoint and throw in a song#and do parts of it as aubrey or some of my other sketch characters#then this will be a very fun one-jess show#also this professor is a kith fan so i'm very much able to play that card with him lmao#i was actively trying to avoid namedropping kith during my introduction but when i mentioned i was in toronto this summer#he just jumped in like ''ZE'S WORKING FOR THE KIDS IN THE HALL!!!'' and i was like ok cat's out of the bag lmao#i also had my first class for advanced improv today which was very fun. i had this professor last semester and it's mostly the same student#so it's nice hanging out with them all again#however there is one casually transphobic lesbian in the class who's kind of my nemesis at this school and wasn't there last semester#but like. she's more standup and i'm more improv so i'm like honey you're in MY territory now and in improv we LOVE AND SUPPORT each other
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also tomorrow i need to tell some really nice dude i went on a couple of date with that it's just not gonna work out and not trying to be dramatic or anything but the stress of it kinda makes me feel like a piece of charcoal in a burning bbq
#and it's the only free day in the entire year at the museum so it's gonna be crazy busy all day right before i meet him so that's nice#i knew dating was a mistake lmao#btw i'm not afraid he's going to hurt me or go crazy or anything but i really hate hurting people feelings#also oversharing supreme mode activated but like...#i just realized that i actually never had to reject someone after actually going out with them#my teen/super young adult self just kinda ghosted people until they got mad and then i was like well fuck you i guess (yeah that's bad)#and now i usually just straight up reject every attempt at dating me and immediately put people in the friendzone#and my whole problem is that i actually really only feel friendship for this guy after all#so i'll be quite sad if he don't want to interact with me at all anymore and it might makes things slightly awkward#since we have common acquaintances#but it is what it is#i'm probably overreacting tbh#like we went on 3 dates and i honestly feel like i'm gonna ask this man for a divorce#like i'm sure he'll be kinda sad and maybe a bit mad but i'm out there with the level of guilt i'd have if i left him after 20 years#your girl is NOT ready to date i need more time more healing and another break from weed#do I even want to go back into dating like ever is another question but let's not go there tonight i'm already fatigued enough
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.
#vent ahead#suicide mention#everythings been really really hard lately#ive not been going to college much to im behind on all my subjects and might genuinely fail my a levels in the summer#which yk are only like 2 months away#i cant wake up in the morning im exhausted all the time#feel like crying in the day and im bored out of my mind but cant bring myself to do any work because it scares me how much i have to do#today i woke up at 3pm and missed all of school and idek what i need to catch up on because atp its like 2 weeks worth of lessons#i went to a litter pick w the kids activity group i volunteer w and that was nice#saw my first bat of the year in the park and that did cheer me up#and had a nice meal my sister made#things are in a weird place where i feel like i want to die but i KNOW theres worth in living#not even just trying to stay alive for the sake of my family and friends#im probably not going to university next year. my councillor at school doesnt think im in a good place for it#which sucks but we will see#gonna try to book an appointment w my GP tomorrow because im at a breaking point#p
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The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao
*light novel spoilers*
I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)
And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?
POISON
She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.
And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.
I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.
And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.
One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.
So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.
Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:
She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was
that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant
expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of
her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes
as she struggled to breathe.
It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said
that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she
told him.
“I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers
tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were
one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t
done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a
dancer.”
So he had been watching them!
“I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost
much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she
really couldn’t.
Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.
It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.
And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.
They both are hypocrites.
And they both refuse to accept their feelings.
In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....
Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"
"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master
Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say
to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from
ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all
out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a
man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love
with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it.
He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so
sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent
her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when
someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming
to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies.
Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if
he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she
knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”
Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in
one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words
come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less
startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something
else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.
Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and
he was about to give her one back.
“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what
I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what
you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute.
I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her
hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he
seemed almost embarrassed.
Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao!
Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”
It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.
Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.
The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.
More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.
Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.
Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.
Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.
It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....
She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.
Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!
So, she got interested in poison.
Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.
And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.
Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.
But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).
Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)
Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.
~Sunshine
#maomao#kusuriya no hitorigoto#kusuriya no hitorigoto manga#jinshi#jinshi x maomao#maomao x jinshi#the apothecary diaries#the Apothecary Diaries manga#tad manga#kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers#manga#anime#spoilers#kusuriya no hitorigoto light novel#kusuriya no hitorigoto LN#the apothecary diaries anime#shoujo#shoujo couples#seinen#aashi animetalks#aashi heartfilia#mao mao#mao mao x jinshi#mao mao x reader#mao mao tad#maomao kusuriya no hitorigoto#light novel#kusuriya anime#shoujo anime#shoujo anime couples
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Before my beloved and I moved in together they were living with roommates in a place that didn't have a bathtub. Now, a reasonable person might conclude from this that baths would be out of the equation in a home with only one standing shower and no tub.
But these people weren't quitters. Naturopathic doctors and acupuncturists they were dedicated to treating their bodies well and one of the ways they liked to do that was hydrotherapy. Most people are familiar with this through things like polar bear plunges. You sit in a hot tub then jump in freezing water.
It's supposedly good for you and they were way into it. But again, no tub. They'd do hydro showers but it just wasn't the same. These people were not quitters, though. (One of them is the boob soap person, so it really isn't a surprise that she goes hard on everything). So they got what looked like two big metal old timey tubs but which were actually animal food troughs and set them up in the garage. They set up a water heater and god knows how they emptied the tub after, I think there was hoses involved? A pump maybe? I honestly can't remember. Anyway! Voila, hydrotherapy on demand.
I was not aware of this. So when I came over after a long day and my beloved said we should take a bath I was extremely puzzled. I only knew about the one shower. They showed me the garage tubs. I did want a bath and I wasn't really sure about the setup, but honestly I'll try anything once if only for the story, so I agreed.
Fun fact about me though. I haaaate being cold. I've been 0% body fat most of my life with skin barely keeping my bones enclosed. I'm always cold. My favorite activity at the time was sitting directly in front of space heaters. My shower temperatures turn me lobster red and make my beloved cringe. Willingly dunking myself into cold water is the antipathy of my entire deal.
On the night in question I happily submerged into the warm tank, pleasantly surprised by the big silly improvised tub. Which again was meant for livestock. My knees bumped companionably against my beloved as we soaked in the hot water. After a while they rose to go into the cold water. "You don't have to," they told me.
But I was haunted. I wouldn't be doing hydro if I just stayed in the warm tub. Maybe hydro was amazing. It has all these health benefits. I desperately didn't want to but I stood up with them. We were having this nice intimate evening in the garage, just us, I felt safe. I was gonna do it.
They stepped easily into the cold tub, dunking matter of factly into the frigid water. I went to step. I did. I really really tried. My foot went in and I started shrieking, my progress arrested by the total state of shock I entered when my warm toasty foot hit that smug arctic water tension. My beloved started laughing as my pitch ascended the deeper my foot went into the cold water.
I started loudly narrating my discomfort as my foot touched the bottom and I willed my other foot up to join it. "THIS IS VERY COLD," I yelled, "IT'S SO COLD I THINK I MIGHT DIE HOW ARE YOU JUST CASUALLY SITTING IN THIS FREEZING COLD WATER?! I'M DYING- I THINK I'M DYING! I'M DYING BUT WE'RE HERE, TOGETHER! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THESE EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO COLD ALL MY MOLECULES HAVE COMPRESSED INTO A SOLID STATE!"
I ended up with both feet planted in the cold tub, water up to my shins, bellowing and panting while my beloved laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. I hunkered over the cold water, squatting like a frozen gargoyle.
My beloved was trying to psyche me up while I willed my body to obey me. In a sudden jerky drop like a puppet whose strings have been cut I plummeted my body into the cold and let out a shriek that I’m sure could have shattered glass and then leapt up out of the water at a speed relative to a rocket achieving space flight. I didn’t like it.
When we got back inside my beloved's roommates were collapsed on the ground with tears in the their eyes from how hard they'd been laughing. They and probably every neighbor down the block had heard my pterodactyl screeching and narration because the garage was not remotely soundproof.
#ramblies#ffs foibles#funny#story#writing#my beloved#fun fact I'm the same way on roller coasters#I just scream a terrified narration and my beloved thinks its the funnies thing
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Let the games begin.
Well. Well, well, well, well, well. It’s here. The day has finally come. We’ve enjoyed witnessing you set dashboards ablaze the world over with your fandom hot takes, your cats, your dragon art, your recipe polls, your incorrect quotes, your Barbie memes. (But, really, mostly your cats.)
Starting April 20, you will be able to Blaze each other's posts: You’ll be able to scroll through your dash and see a post that tickles you, and then make thousands of complete strangers see that post also.
We made this for fun, but you remain in charge of your stuff. So here are some important details:
Blog-level settings: All blogs will be set to Blazable by default in your blog settings. We’re giving you this heads-up so you can toggle Blaze off on any blog you don’t want people to Blaze posts from (quick link for web). Remember to do so for any secondaries you might want to keep Blaze-free.
Post-level settings: These override your blog-level Blaze settings. You can enable Blaze in the post editor—before or after posting—via the cog (web) or the meatball menu (mobile), regardless of your blog's Blaze settings. Any posts you previously disabled reblogs on will remain unsharable via Blaze. Unless, of course, you edit the post to enable Blaze.
Real humans moderate all posts being Blazed before they go out. If something’s fishy or seems like it might be harmful, it won’t go through.
When someone Blazes your post, you will receive an email, push notification, and/or activity item (depending on your settings).
You can cancel the Blazing of your post before it happens—or extinguish a post that is already being Blazed—either by responding to the aforementioned notification, or via the “Active” tab in your Blaze interface.
We will only accept posts that comply with our global advertising guidelines. Interested in advertising directly? Find out more here.
Here are some FAQs.
So that’s it, really. Be nice! Have fun!
And, as always, if you want to get in touch, drop us a line on @wip or Support, and keep an eye out for more updates on @changes.
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skz + types of p*rn they watch (w/links) pt 1. hyung line
MDNI (+18) content warning: p*rn, nsfw links, mentions of rough sex, use of female anatomy, breeding, spanking, choking, fingering, oral (f receiving) most afab reader terms.
a/n: if the links are not working for you, you may need the app as most are not compatible with a web browser
pt 2. maknae line
chan: he's definitely watching twitter/x porn. as for what side of x he's on all depends on the mood. he definitely seems to stay on a more "vanilla" side. probably has a keen interest on size kink and breeding videos. but what they all have common is riding. it gets him so riled up seeing ones shot in cars because the next time he sees you it's all he thinks about. he'd love nothing more then to have you riding his dick, his hands holding your hips in place, eventually snacking a hand to lightly you choke and bunching your skirt in the other hand while you sloppily bounce on his cock. maybe he's taking you out to a nice dinner & movie but once your back in that car he's practically begging you to sit on his cock.
"baby, i need you so bad. come here, ride me, need to feel this pretty pussy on me."
breeding
riding
minho: there's so many things i could say about him. i don't think he necessarily needs porn to get off or actively looks for it, but i do think he loves being able to send you links that either remind him of the both of yours sexcapades or things he wants to do to you. i feel like he watches a lot of overstimulation, spanking, BREEDING, and just a sprinkle of voyeurism. i think he gets really turned on by the ones of girls in pretty lingerie wearing collars with bells, so every movement makes the bell ring. he almost collapses to his knees when he gets home one day to see you wearing the collar he bought, the one he'd been hiding and waiting for the right moment.
the only thing on your mind is the feeling of your sopping wet cunt being suffocated by minho's cock. he's got a fistful of your hair in hand, pulling you up from your pillow before landing a hard smack on your ass, never letting up on his thrusts.
overstimulation
spanking
changbin: another one in my books that loves size kink porn. not because i think he likes someone smaller, but more so the fact that he likes the feeling of being able to make someone feel so small. in seo changbins biceps, we trust. i think this one in particular will have him pleading with you to let him try it. you might feel reluctant because of any underlying insecurities at the though of feeling like you're "too heavy" (there's so no such thing to him) . it isn't till he's got you lifted up against the wall with no holding you either than his arms & shoulders, his mouth lapping away at your pretty cunt, any worries you ever had dissipated along with your ability to use your words.
"bin-binnie please i-i can't hold on much longer" a string of whines follow suit. he's been at it for a while and you've already had two orgasm but he's relentless. all you can hear are his groans and the squelching sound of his tongue abusing your cunt. he lifts his head up from between your thighs with you hand webbed in his hair, mirroring your worn out lustful look.
size kink
making you feel small
hyunjin: to me, i think hyun goes either of these two ways. he's the most depraved man known to walk this earth that loves it sloppy, messy, wet and downright lustfully filthy. the latter also leads me to believe he's not big on porn, prefers either his imagination or his OWN videos. one he's recorded (with your consent + encouragement) while you've done it together. he needs the passion of either love or the passion of wanting to make the either cum so hard they've gone to heaven (preferably both). if he's watching videos, his favorite ones always have the girl shaking and crying in pleasure by the end. he needs to see the passion, lust to be able to get off. when it's you, it's different, if anything it brings him back to those moments to fully remember the need between the two of you. that being said he's heavy into breeding/cumplay and semi restraining. he loves seeing the hands held behind the back and holding someone in place while they fall apart in his lap + cock.
it was supposed to be a quick kiss, which turned into heavy petting, and now he's brought your leg over his hips. the panties you were wearing discarded somewhere in the room, one arm is wrapped around you holding you tightly to his chest while his other hand is at work. his middle & ring finger are knuckle deep thrusting into you and he's groaning into your neck sucking hickies in all your favorite spots.
semi restraints
playing w you in his lap
#skz smut#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#skz fanfic#skz imagines#skz x you#skz x reader#skz x reader smut#chan smut#bang chan smut#bang chan imagines#bang chan x you#bang chan x reader#bang chan hard thoughts#lee know x reader#lee know smut#lee know x you#lee know oneshot#lee know hard thoughts#lee know imagines#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin x you#hyunjin smut#hyunjin hard thoughts#hyunjin oneshot#changbin x reader#changbin x you#changbin smut#skz headcanons
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ring hard launch - blurb
the content we got today just SCREAMS fiancé!harry for me so i came up with this, enjoy !
gif by @sunkissedlouis <3
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
If there was something that was definitely at the top of your list of favorite activities, was spending time with Harry.
It didn't matter if it was getting groceries, joining him for a bike ride or simply laying on the couch together, every moment that you spent together brought you contentment and joy that you couldn't find anywhere else.
And now that he was your fiancé, it was safe to say that both of you wanted to be glued to each other every single minute.
Harry proposed the morning of New Year's Eve, in the comfort of your home with both of you in your pajamas as you enjoyed homemade breakfast bagels, and it was absolutely perfect.
Ever since, you had been happier than ever, sharing the news with your family and closest friends and enjoying your engagement in private without prying eyes from paparazzi, fans and media.
"We better win tonight," Your train of thought was interrupted by Harry's voice, you were currently heading to the Luton vs Man United game, and even though you couldn't care less about football, your need to be close to him all the time made you say yes when he asked you to join him, "Thank you for tagging along, baby. I know this is not your scene so it's nice you came."
"I'm just here for the drinks and snacks," you teased, watching him roll his eyes at you, "And to enjoy the evening with my handsome fiancé, of course."
"There we go," he smiled now, grabbing your hand and placing a small kiss to the ring on your finger.
Ever since you got engaged, that had became his favorite habit, and it made your heart flutter every single time.
"It sucks that I have to take it off," you said, making him look at you with a raised eyebrow, "The ring, I mean. I have to take it off before we get out of the car, otherwise headlines will go crazy and Jeff is going to freak out."
"Mm-hmm," he paused to think, eyes darting for the road to you, "What if... you don't have to take it off?"
"What do you mean?" you said, noticing that you were about to enter the back of the stadium.
"I mean..." he grabbed your hand again, tugging the ring affectionately, "What if we let the world know about it? I talked to Jeff and the rest of the team last week, they said we could make it public whenever we felt like it, at our own terms. So why don't we do it today?"
Harry parked the car at the spot that was reserved for him and turned to look at you with a wide smile, waiting for your answer.
"Are you sure?" you smiled back at him, noticing the glow in his eyes that almost made you melt.
"Couldn't be more sure, love. Besides, the album is coming soon and everyone is going to connect the dots as soon as they listen to the first song, might as well give them an early heads up."
"Let's do it," you said, leaning over to kiss him, "I feel like everyone is going to focus on the fact that you're finally outside and with brand new hair, they won't even notice the rock on my finger."
Harry rolled his eyes again and gave you another kiss, "I swear to god, woman. You're something else."
You headed inside of the stadium to the VIP suit you were going to watch the game in, walking hand in hand with your engagement ring glistening on your finger, cameras around filming and taking pictures of both of you.
"Do you think twitter is freaking out yet?" you asked Harry as you settled on your seats.
"No idea, baby, I don't use that app," he shrugged, "Do you want anything to drink?"
"Would you get me something fruity that has alcohol that doesn't quite taste like alcohol? That's the only way I won't be bored to death."
"Sure thing." Harry laughed and kissed the side of your head before standing up to get your drink, coming back a few minutes later with exactly what you asked and a bottle of sparkling water for himself.
"So we're rooting for Man U, right?" you asked as you took a sip from your drink.
"Seven years together, months away from getting married, yet you still don't know I'm a Man U ride or die," he put a hand on his chest, "I don't think this is going to work."
"I was just teasing, drama queen," you pecked his cheek, "I know your true loves are Man U, the Green Bay Packers, peas and Fleetwood Mac."
"And you," he winked, making you roll your eyes with affection and take another sip from your drink.
A few minutes into the game, you found yourself quite invested on it, constantly asking Harry about the stuff you didn't understand and getting nervous when the other team was about to score or your team missed a goal.
"Lord, I don't want to watch," you said as a player from the opposite team was getting ready to hit a penalty, hiding your face against Harry's shoulder, "Harry! You're supposed to be watching the game, you've been staring at me for half of it now."
"Sorry, you're just too cute," he kissed the crown of your head, "You can watch now, he failed it."
"Thank god."
By the end of the game, you were both on your feet, cheering as Man United secured a win. Harry was ecstatic, and you found yourself caught up in the excitement, cheering alongside him.
While you were engulfed in your own bubble during the game, cameras has caught up on the ring of your finger, and Harry and you immediately became a world trending topic, with fans speculating whether you were actually engaged or not.
As you laid in bed scrolling through the millions of tweets about the game Harry finally emerged from the bathroom, ready to get in the covers.
"Are you reading about us?" he asked, sliding into bed beside you.
"Yeah," you replied, showing him some of the tweets, "But I don't think it was quite clear for some of your fans, some of them don't think we're really engaged."
"Well, I guess it'll be clear when the album comes out."
#harry styles#harry styles fake instagram#harry styles imagine#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb#harry styles one shot#harry styles writing#harry styles x you#harry styles fic#harry styles au#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles headcanon#harry styles fake social media#harry styles fic rec#harrysfolklore#harry styles instagram concept#harry styles headcannon#harry styles fanfic#1k
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