#might as well post it the editing took effort
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Ironmouse: Part of the reason why I love this server so much is because everybody's so nice. Everyone! Like, every single person is super nice! And it's like- it's like, genuine nice, it's not like fake niceness. [...] I've literally talked to almost everybody at least once like outside of the QSMP. We've talked on Discord, people regularly check in on me, we get in group chats and we play games like outside of the server... You don't really find that sort of connection all the time with people.
Ironmouse recently talked about her experience on QSMP, and how kind all the members are. I'm posting the entire conversation instead of cutting it up like I usually would because I really enjoyed hearing her thoughts on the server.
[ Subtitle Transcript ]
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Ironmouse: Honestly, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I did. He's so nice, he's so- he's always been super nice to me. He's been so nice, I– part of the reason why I- I love this server so much is because everybody's so nice. Everyone! Like, every single person is super nice! And it's like- it's like, genuine nice, it's not like fake niceness. You know how sometimes like– you always hear like, "Oh yeah, you know–" when–
Ironmouse: Whenever you like, join like a new thing, right? Whenever you like join like a new thing, you always worry, 'cuz you always think: "Oh, are the people gonna like me? Are they gonna be nice to me? What if- What if- you know, what if this, what if that?" But everybody like genuinely was nice when I first came by, and everybody has been so nice to me– not just in the game, but outside of the game, and–
Ironmouse: Something special about the QSMP is like... People wanna be your friend like outside of the game? Like, I've literally talked to ev– almost– almost everybody at least once like outside of the QSMP, like... We've talked on Discord, people like regularly check in on me, and like we get in group chats and like we- we play games like outside of the server, and it's just like... You don't really find that sort of connection all the time with people? You know what I mean? It's very– it's very not common when you go on like, a content creator-like server or stuff like that, you know? You'll get like one or two people that you get close to and stuff, but like... Everybody is SO nice, and everybody's been so nice to me, and I can't tell you how many people like, wished me– not just like wished me happy birthday, or like wished- said, "Oh, you know, hap- Merry Christmas!" dadadada, it's like genuinely like... Asked how I'm doing, and like talk to me, and like... Just like– I dunno, it's just like so- so- it's so wonderful.
Ironmouse: Like, I get that with VShojo a lot, like– we're all like besties, and we all like talk all the time, but I feel like it's different, 'cuz like VShojo– we're VShojo, we're like– we're our own group, but this is like... You know... You don't expect this sorta thing when you get invited to like be on some- be a part of something, you know? And it's- and it's been so– it's been so wonderful and everybody's been so GENUINELY nice to me, and I- I appreciate everybody on the server so much, and they're just some of the nicest people that I've ever met ever, and it's just–
Ironmouse: It just warms my heart, and I'm just really– really like, thankful to be a part of something so great, and something so positive! Because like, everybody's so supportive! Like– the time when like, I didn't like– I- I- I had a moment where it's like I– do you guys remember in December when I- I was not around a lot? And like, I had to take breaks and all this stuff and it turns out it was like the concert stuff? They all like would message me regularly, like, we would all keep up with each other, and we would all talk. And I remember telling them about like, how much stress I was under, and like all the- all the pressures of the concert and stuff, and– and they were cheering, and- and- and they were just so... so kind to me, it was just so– so sweet, and- and you know, I was in a group chat with a- with a few people, and they were all just so excited and- and- just super nice, and- and very- very sweet, and it's just– and it's just very– I'm sorry if I'm rambling! It's just...
Ironmouse: I dunno! I- I- I just enjoy being here, and I enjoy hanging out with everybody, and... it's just nice to meet really good people. You don't really find that. You don't find that sort of thing all the time. Don't get me wrong– it's not like I haven't met a lot of good people, like– I just feel like this whole like, my whole like– Ever, like– My streaming journey, I've just been nothing but surprised at the goodness of people? Don't get me wrong– I've met assholes and sht like that, and I've met- I've encountered some people that are NOT so nice. I'll never like, talk about it or whatever because that's their thing, and I'm just gonna do my thing and I don't wanna like, you know, spread any type of stupid drama or whatever the fck, but like... I'm just always surprised about how– how incredibly nice people are, and how genuine a lot of people are, and it's... It- it's just nice, especially since like– You're used to coming from like, a certain background and a certain like, environment where it's like, you've met a lot of like fcked up mean people in your life, and you've just been around a lot of like fckery, you know? So when- when you're around stuff that's NOT fcked, it's just like, "Woah, this is crazy! Is this- is this how life is supposed to be?!" And it's just- it's just really... it's really- it's really nice. It's very nice.
Ironmouse: Yeah, it's very refreshing, that's why I- I enjoy hanging out on here, everybody's just so nice to me. And it's not just like being nice just to be on-stream, it's nice off-stream, on-stream, friendship on-stream, off-stream, it's- it's just- it's just so- it's- it's- it's wonderful. It's wonderful. And I just have to say like... man, I'm just really thankful that like... it's crazy that like I got invited to be on here and I'm just really thankful that, you know... Quackity like, reached out to me and he's- he's just been nothing but nice, everybody- everybody's just so kind. Everybody's so nice. This is something truly special.
#QSMP#Ironmouse#February 11 2024#Subtitles#*clenches fist* You don't want to know how long it took me to transcribe and subtitle this thing#anyways I saw people sharing a Twitter thread where Mouse talked about this#and I was like ''hey that thread cut some bits out''#so. here I am. posting the entire thing. and subtitling + transcribing it for some reason#anyways I'm shocked Tumblr let me upload this#I did lower the video quality a little bit (reluctantly) because the length + quality made the file size a smidge too big for Tumblr#but it's still pretty good quality imo. yeah?#I'm 100% applying to be a video editor the next time Quackity Studios is looking to hire folks again.#give me money so I can justify the time and effort I put into these things#Edit: Yeah I might make a shorter version of this too#just so I can direct people to this longer version as well#EDIT: LMAO I FORGOT TO POST THIS#Edited
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Genshin men Instagram HCs
Ft. Xiao; Scaramouche; Zhongli; Childe; Alhaitham; Kaveh; Tighnari
(gender neutral reader but wears a dress in Scara & Zhongli's parts)
Xiao // @ a1atus
★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★
Very rarely posts
Never pictures of himself, you’ll only see his face in tagged photos
If he does post, it’s probably a new album cover of a band he likes, a particularly good plate of almond tofu from his favorite café, or—if he’s in a particularly good mood—a cute stray cat that befriended him on the street
Never edits anything but still takes pretty decent photos because he understands basic composition rules
Never tags anything but will sometimes write simple captions like “new guitar”
His pfp has not changed since he made his account and its literally just the blandest selfie you’ve ever seen—but he’s effortlessly photogenic so even when he’s just staring at the camera with a blank expression he looks hot
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
Xiao will unintentionally do his loyal boyfriend duties and like all of your posts but he never actually leaves a comment unless you specifically ask him to but you have to tell him what to say or else you’ll just get something like “your hair is nice” LOL
Maybe makes one post related to you but it doesn’t have your face—just picture of your hands holding each other or a photo he secretly took of you from behind as you admire some paintings from when he took you on an art gallery date
Still doesn’t write much in captions but if the post includes you, he always adds a little black heart emoji 🖤
Scaramouche // @ balladeer
★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★
Vehemently claims he’s not chronically online but he definitely is
Def has a dark / emo aesthetic profile and puts more effort into it than he’d ever admit
Uses stories pretty frequently
Usually to show off his game stats and victories or to vent about some annoying inconvenience that's just happened to him
balladeer Jfc the train is late again I may as well just walk home everyday ffs
All his late night gaming photos are so highly saturated in his pitch black bedroom, the only source of light being his screen on max brightness and his violet RGB keyboard. If you raise the screen brightness on your phone you might be able to make out some empty Monster cans and ramen cups on his desk—he absolutely gives Discord / Reddit mod vibes 🤢
Definitely has a story archive just for Valorant 🤮
I wanna fuck him so bad it makes me look stupid—
Posts a few selfies to show a new piercing or the very rare occasion where he’s feeling really confident in his looks
unintentionally thirst traps the emo boy lovers; yes, I am talking about you and I—
Lightly edits photos or uses filters to make them look good but nothing extreme or super aesthetic, mostly just for decent contrast
Usually the first one to see any of his friends posts but never ‘likes’ them
Will leave snarky or sarcastic comments when the mood strikes tho
His pfp is a candid picture someone else took that he thinks he looks decent in—sticking his tongue out and giving double middle fingers to the camera
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
Makes a post or story for every date you guys have, even if it’s just a vague picture of your shoes together
He likes to show off that he has such an attractive s/o but also lowkey just wants to have a memory to look back on for the nights he feels lonely
Doesn’t post just you though, he’s always in frame holding you or touching you in some way—he feels the need to put some sort of claim cause he thinks people are gonna shoot their shot with you—he’s kinda paranoid and insecure, pls have patience w him
Likes and comments on all of your posts. Sometimes it's a snarky quip like if you post about you and your friends doing something funny he might comment “lmao ur so dumb” but if its a selfie or something you’re proud of, he leaves a little compliment and heart emoji.
YN0103 [bedroom mirror selfie of you shyly posing in a dress]
YN0103 Bought a new dress today…it’s not my usual style but I rlly like it 🥺
balladeer cute 💜
If anyone ever confronts him in person about his nice comments on your posts tho he’ll get flustered and claim his account was temporarily hacked LOL
His heart def flutters when you post a picture of him on your own account
He kinda can’t believe you’re proud enough of him to publicly post about him
Changes his pfp to the two of you together and, if you zoom in and squint, you can tell he’s kind of smiling <3
Zhongli // @ rex_lapis
★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★
I’m sorry but I have to do it…
He has Facebook grandpa vibes
Like he has no idea how to use half of the features; stories are an absolute mystery to him. What is a reel?
But he tries to be supportive of his friends and will leave way-too eloquent comments with a Wikipedia levels of supplemental information
a1atus [ photo of a shiny Fender acoustic guitar laying on what seems to be a bed]
a1atus new guitar
rex_lapis Lovely new instrument, Xiao. You seem to have quite good tastes – that particular model is popular among many professional musicians. It is well renowned for its clear sound and beautiful mahogany exterior. If you wouldn’t mind, I would love to hear you play it someday over tea.
a1atus @ rex_lapis thanks
the way I cackled writing that exchange ygweyufgwyu Xiaos just like ‘thanks for commenting dad’
His pfp is not him—it’s probably a famous painting he likes or a beautiful white flower from a garden he visited
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
If you want him to improve his Insta game, you’re going to have to teach him, I’m sorry
On the up side, Zhongli is a great student and is eager to learn anything you teach him
Will try to post pretty regularly; usually somewhat mediocre photos of beautiful scenery like sunsets and flowers
Like Scaramouche, he enjoys the idea of documentary your time together so he posts something at the end of each of your dates
Your heart lowkey melts when Zhongli, very earnestly, asks after dinner if you’ll allow him to take a selfie with you to post on his Instagram
Regularly asks for feedback on his posts to ensure he’s properly taking your advice and improving :,)
He even starts organizing and naming story archives on his profile—simple titles like “tea,” “nature,” “friends,” and “my dearest”
Likes and comments on every single one of your posts and replies to all of your stories, even if he was there with you
Usually just lathers you in compliments on your beauty or tastes but they’re so thoughtfully written that it’s obvious he’s not “just saying it” and genuinely believes all the kind things about you he writes
YN1231 [photo of you twirling in a summer dress amidst a colorful of bed of flowers in a botanical garden, take by your friend]
YN1231 It’s finally starting to feel like spring! 🌸🌼🌺
rex_lapis While the camelias are lovely, they pale in comparison to your radiance. Your yellow sundress is also quite lovely and compliments your complexion in the morning sunlight. Truly a divine sight.
balladeer @ YN1231 @ rex_lapis ugh can you guys keep it in the DMs
- Changes his pfp to a selfie of himself smiling after you told him he should. The angle is a little odd but he’s so naturally attractive that he still manages to look good.
Ajax // @ tartaglia_on_top
★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★
Doesn’t post too often but when he does, it kinda gives stereotypical frat boy
Like, lots of parties and shirtless beach photos with his friends
The surprise is the occasional posts of his little siblings and kids he volunteers with in between
He sometimes posts championship and practice photos from his martial arts competitions with captions thanking his team and mentors
Is pretty popular—has a few thousand followers, many are people he met just once or twice at parties or genuine friends and classmates, but the vast majority are online fans who just follow cause he’s hot LOL
Is the type of person you followed once after meeting a long time ago and never talk to again but you can’t bring yourself to unfollow cause he’s nice and his updates are kinda interesting and he’s hot
Isn’t online that much so he doesn’t like/comment on his friends’ every post but usually tries to leave congratulatory messages when someone accomplishes something or graduates
His pfp is a closeup of himself with a boyish grin he cropped from a group photo
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
It is super obvious when you guys start dating cause almost every post from that point is about you in some way LOL
tartaglia_on_top [photo of Ajax, sweaty and exhausted but clearly excited as he holds a trophy in one hand with the other wrapped around your waist while he presses a kiss to your cheek]
tartaglia_on_top Officially a 3 year championship winner! Thanks to my biggest supporter @ YN0720 😘
He’s not even consciously trying to post you all the time, it just happens because you are either always together or any memorable moment he thinks are worth an Insta post involve you in some way
You’re the only person, aside from his family - that he actually likes/comments on all posts for
Is the type of boyfriend to leave those super dramatic, embarrassing comments on your selfies like “DAAAMN BABE 🥵 finna make me act UP” and, in one particularly shameless case, “god youre so hot pls step on me queen 😍”
Please block him
He shamelessly liked all your past posts from before you too met as well—you were kinda mortified to wake up one morning to a notification that just said “what a lil cutie ❤️” on a post of yourself from seventh grade.
Changes his pfp to a couple selfie he took of the two of you kissing on a winter vacation in the mountains
Kaveh // @ kaveh.designs
★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★
Obsessed with having an aesthetic profile
Like, the color palette of the background and clothing in his pfp selfie are carefully matched with the cover of each of his story archives, down to the hex code
He carefully edits every post and uses filters to make them all fit with his theme no matter how inaccurate to real life they may become
“Huh…I thought your bedroom wall was a bit more orange than this…”
“Oh, that’s cause I use 30% Juno in all my bedroom photos for a warmer finish.”
“???”
Despite his aesthetic profile, he doesn’t come off as particularly vain or narcissistic—only posts selfies when he’s has a particularly good hair day or changed his accessories
Most of his posts are of places he travels to (museums and big cities with interesting architecture) or his own sketches and rendered design projects
Online pretty frequently, always checks insta when he wakes up, before bed, and during lunch breaks
His stories are often project updates, interesting things he encounters throughout the day, or food photos
Only likes posts he actually likes and sometimes comments with photography critiques
tighnar1 [photo of a cluster of three bright blue mushrooms clustered against vibrant green grass and patches of dark, wet soil]
tighnar1 Proof the forest is an amazing place: found this beautiful little cluster of juvenile Rakkhashava mushrooms on my hike today. Great spotting by @ colleeei. Check my story for some cool mushroom facts. 🍄
kaveh.designs great photo composition, Tigh, perfect golden ratio on the caps.
tighnar1 @ kaveh.designs Thanks I guess…
Has a decent number of followers, many of whom are also artists familiar with Kaveh’s reputation from the Kshahrewar. Others just like his OOTD stories and charming smile
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
Kaveh revamps his entire profile once you two become official
His pfp becomes a candid taken by a stranger of the two of you together at an aquarium, holding hands as you point something out to him through the glass
It was taken by a photographer working at the aquarium as part of a promotion—the photographer showed you two the photo and asked for permission to post it on their official website and Kaveh was absolutely obsessed with the photo—it’s still one of his favorite and it doesn’t even show your faces
He still matches his archived story covers to his new pfp but his actual feed had become a lot more relaxed and natural now
He still slightly edits photos so they look as good as possible, but he doesn’t like using filters on photos of you or the two of you together because he thinks it would be a disservice to your natural beauty
Like Ajax, his posts and stories naturally become mostly about you whether scenes from your dates—candid photos he takes of you where he insists you look like art even though you’re just in pajamas with an unmade face—or even photos of things he sees throughout the day that remind him of you
Sometimes he posts stories of funny reels or art pieces he knows you’d like and tags you in them with messages like “@YN0709 omg remember when we were talking abt this?” and “me & @ YN0709💕”
Similar to Childe, leaves the most downbad, dramatic comments on your posts
YN0709 [swimsuit selfie]
YN0709 happy summer! ☀️🌊
kaveh.designs Oh my god my heart– 💘 I cannot believe I get to come home to this every night 👅💦
YN0709 @ kaveh.designs omg kaveh pls 💀
al_haitham @ kaveh.designs Every time I see one of your comments I regret ever learning how to read.
Alhaitham // @ al_haitham
★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★
Only made an account so his friends would stop bothering him about not keeping up with things tbh
Checks his feed a few times a day but skips through stories if they’re too long/too many
Absolutely hates concert stories the most cause they’d loud, long, and filled with off-key drunken singing
Never likes or comments on anything unless it’s really interesting to him
Occasionally shares reels in his story that are like interesting history facts or official Akademiya announcements
Has a few posts (and only cause Kaveh would not shut up about it) but they’re mostly just pictures of book covers he’d just finished reading with a detailed review or literary analysis as the caption—but he’s mindful of avoiding spoilers for those who haven’t read it
However, he does have one post that stands out quite a bit
He posted an unintentional gym third trap because he just happened to be working out, as is routine, and thought it might be nice to share some tips on proper rope pushdown form
If you’re not a gym babe and don’t know what this is, I beg of you, please look up a gif or video and imagine Alhaitham doing this, shirtless. You’re welcome.
It has become his most popular post by far
His pfp is probably taken straight from his faculty ID card: plain background, bright lighting, neutral facial expression
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
After you two have become official and are pretty comfortably established in your relationship, he’ll post a photo of the two of you—probably one you took - with a simple caption like “Late night at Puspa Café with my favorite person 💚”
Everyone who knows him freaks out in the comments with variations of “omg hathie got an s/o???” and “wow he finally posted a normal pic of himself, y/n is a good influence” but he doesn’t reply to any of them lmao
If you use Instagram a lot, he’ll naturally become more active too because he enjoys learning more about what you like through your posts and stories
He likes all of your posts but never comments—if one of your posts interests him, he’d prefer to wait until he sees you later to ask you about it in person
He just wants an excuse to talk to you more
As he becomes more active, little bits and pieces of your relationship naturally infiltrate his feed
His latest book review post has your favorite mug in the background because the two of you had breakfast together
His informational story post of an antique Sumerian emerald he found at a street vendor is being modeled by your pretty hands because you were with him when he saw it and later given to you after the vendor insisted on Alhaitham gifting it to his “beautiful spouse”
He changes his profile picture to the two of you from one of your many reading dates, comfortably lounging on a loveseat in a quiet corner of the library—and this time, he’s softly smiling
Tighnari // @ t1ghnar1
Surprisingly active on social media
He thinks social media is a great way to share information about the importance of forest conservation and get people to appreciate the beauty of Avidya forest
Makes one post almost every day and multiple stories
Needless to say, 90% of his posts are of plants or small animals he finds on his hikes or while working
His most popular posts are those of cute squirrels and birds that are being nursed back to health after being found wounded—animals just seem to naturally love him so the pictures are usually taken by his coworkers because his arms are full with cuddly animals that refuse to move
The other 10% of his posts are from the occasional hang outs with friends or coworkers after work—snaps of iced fruit teas from Puspa café or colorful clay plates overflowing with Collei’s homemade pita pockets.
He makes sure to reply to or at least like every comment, particularly those from people asking questions about the plants he posts or how to become a forest ranger. Even simple “wow that's so cool” comments often get at least a “thanks, glad you liked it” from Tighnari
He tends to use some cute forest or food emoji when they fit with his posts. For example, 🍄,🥙,🦊,🐦, etc.
Also tends to use “:)” when replying to his followers because he knows it can be difficult to read tone in text-based communications
Tigh is basically a social media manager at this point oops
Because he is online so much, he naturally keeps up with almost everything his friends post and will like or comment on things he finds interesting
His pfp is a selfie of himself with a small yellow bird perched on his shoulder from one of his patrols
★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★
All Tighnaris written by me WILL follow the “fennec foxes mate for life” trope regardless of AU, it is an indisputable law of the universe
If you’re in a relationship with Tighnari, you should be prepared for stability and commitment in general
While he doesn’t go out of his way to make an official announcement post or anything like that, you become a regular feature on his page
Will tag you in anything you’re related to, unless you specifically ask him not to
t1ghnar1 [photo of a small, cream-colored fox brushing itself against Tighnari’s leg and looking up at the camera with large eyes]
t1ghnar1 On a walk with @ YN1229 this morning we spotted this cute little kit without her mom. 🦊 While adorable, foxes - even kits - are wild animals and should never be approached unless by professionals. We have informed the local animal control where she will be taken care of until we can locate her family. Photo by @ YN1229
He never outright announces you as his lover but he seems to spend so much time with you and refer to you so casually that his followers who don’t know him just assume you’re his spouse LOL
He doesn’t bother to correct them either :,)
bennie_boy Wow, that mountain is so high up - wasn’t ur spouse scared to go up there?
t1ghnar1 @ bennie_boy Y/n has been on so many trips like this with me that they’re pretty used to it. :)
Likes your posts as he see them on his feed and occasionally leaves a short comment like, “beautiful <3”
#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagine#genshin scenario#genshin hcs#tighnari x reader#scaramouch x reader#wanderer x reader#kunikuzushi x reader#xiao x reader#childe x reader#ajax x reader#tartaglia x reader#kaveh x reader#alhaitham x reader#zhongli x reader#sm au#genshin sm au
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In My Soul
<NSFW>
PLEASE READ FIRST BEFORE CONTINUING
Prompt: Astarion’s heavy gaze is something that throws you into a tail-spin when you catch his feverish glances. On this particular day, he was practically undressing you with his eyes.
Pairing: Fem!Tav x Astarion
Tags: Light angst, smut, intense eye contact, fingering, cunnilingus, basically Astarion is a munch, fluff if you squint really hard
Word Count: 4,833
A/N: i’m sooo sorry this took so long, i was trying so hard to push through and make sure it was perfect but it might be a bit clunky. i write on my phone/ipad and have to edit it in post on tumblr 🫣 but i hope you guys like it i worked really hard. it’s been a few years since i’ve written anything proper but i’m pretty proud of this. it got me all hot and bothered so i must’ve done something right hopefully 😫
Nothing irked you more than when you were in the suffocating heat of battle, and in a fleeting moment catching familiar crimson eyes boring into you through the settling dust.
This was important. Focus was imperative. Yet you couldn’t ignore the rosy heat that crept on your cheeks— the feeling deep in your stomach as if it was doing somersaults. It was silly, really, and that’s why it irritated you so much.
You wanted to confront Astarion— wanted to tell him how distracting he was; how insufferable that simple act made you feel. You knew, however, it would forever be an excuse for him to torment you more. You could practically see him chuckle, pat your head, and then fixate his eyes tauntingly on you. You wanted to tear those beautiful eyes right out of his skull.
You figured you would have a moment of peace when you’d made camp that evening, but that was wishful thinking on your part.
Mending the bright and blazing fire that illuminated your dim surroundings, you couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes being on you. Curiously, your gaze wandered the camp. Shadowheart was snug in her tent just a ways from you. Karlach and Wyll seemed to be in deep conversation, paying you absolutely no mind. Lae’zel had been sound asleep for quite some time, and Gale was just across from you, but he was too busy reading to take notice of your analytical gaze. That only left one person unaccounted for, and your stomach dropped at the realization.
“Something the matter, darling?”
Your perception seemed to fail you as he took you by surprise from behind—your backside bumping into his towering figure as you jumped in shock. Peering over your shoulder with the most annoyed glance you could muster, you’re met with his mischievous glare. The rolling of your eyes indicated to him that what he was doing was working— and he loved to see every muscle in your face twitch at his efforts. You simply returned your focus to the fire.
“Would you believe me if I said no?” you remarked sarcastically as you poked and prodded the dying embers. Your ears perked at the chuckle that rumbled in his chest, but you tried your best to brush off the melodic sound.
“Hardly.”
As expected, you weren’t hiding it as well as you thought. The annoyance—the absolute aggravation that coursed through you. You tried your best to brush it off.
His movement was swift as he sat in the space next to you; pressing his shoulder into your own. The sudden contact made you stop momentarily, but not long enough for him to take notice. At least, you hoped not. You fought every urge to look into those eyes.
“You seem quite tense, darling. Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?” His voice dragged as he ever so slightly leaned into your ear, knowing full well at this point he was flat out taunting you. Your breath hitched slightly when you felt his hand rest on your thigh and gripped just enough that you almost forgot what was wrong, but reality struck when his fingers traced dangerously close to a certain spot, and you could feel the rage boil all over again.
You huffed as you threw the poker down, and Gale seemed to snap out of the fixation with his book at this. He peered over the top edge of the pages, but you were too hot with fury to notice. Maybe I shouldn’t be so nosey, he thought, but I don’t think they notice me anyway. Gale pressed the book desperately into his nose.
You stood and turned to Astarion with a look of defiance etched into your features; pointing a finger so close to his face he almost went cross-eyed.
“You’ve done quite enough for one day.”
He laid a hand on his chest as if taking offense.
“Sweetheart, whatever do you mean? I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.” He purred, his eyes peering into the very depths of your soul. Seeing him beneath you sent shockwaves through your fingers, and the mention of just that singular word was enough to send you completely over the edge. Sweetheart? Sweetheart?! Who in the Hells does he think he is?!
In that moment, you could feel that consuming feeling take over every connector in your brain, and your stomach churned. You cursed the way your body deceived you before groaning, turning, and stomping off defiantly.
“I need a moment. Alone.” You huffed.
Astarion’s gaze followed your figure all the way to the tent in amusement before you shut the cloth behind you, and after a moment, it was clear you would not be returning. His gaze returned to the fire in front of him. It was only just a bit of fun; he told himself. I could’ve done much, much worse. The poor dear.
“So… do you think she’s gone to occupy herself, Astarion?” Gale’s amused chords rang from behind the pages of his book—himself now sat back comfortably after what he’d just witnessed.
He admitted it was all quite silly, mostly because you’d fought with him a few days previously about your real feelings for the vampire and completely denying them. Gale knew you were just saving face, but it ran much deeper than he’d anticipated. Even if you wouldn’t admit it he knew you liked Astarion. As much as that fact made his brain chemistry practically disintegrate, it was only because Gale had taken interest in you too. You’d made it clear that you just wanted to be friends, and he was respectful of that. Now he was faced with a dilemma; how to get the vampire to treat you the way you deserved. Gale was not convinced thus far that he could trust Astarion, and especially not with their precious leader.
Astarion flashed him a taunting grin.
“Well, if she was, she would have invited me, of course. Tell me, Gale, do you even know where the clitoris is?”
The wizard sat there baffled before collecting his things and beginning to stand. He huffed, much like you had, and scowled in the vampire’s direction.
“I’ll have you know I am well endowed in the pleasure department, thank you very much. Not that it’s any of your business, anyway.” Gale spoke, rolling his eyes. He lingered momentarily as he thought about his next words methodically. He would not risk waking to fangs in his neck, so he let out a tired sigh before parting his lips to speak.
“She’s rather fond of you, Astarion. I just,” his breath caught in his throat, “I just think you should be careful with her. She’s more than just a pretty face. Much more.” The wizard’s hand waved about in the air for emphasis. Astarion examined him carefully in the dim light of the fire and saw the genuine concern that adorned his features, and at this Astarion’s eyes softened slightly.
“If we can agree on anything, Gale, let it be that fact. She’s… definitely something.” His head nodded in earnest. Gale felt his thoughts relax at his words. Though he wasn’t fully confident in Astarion’s motives, at least there could be a start. After all, they shared a damn camp together along with most of their days. He might as well get used to him. With a final passing glance, Gale retreated to his own tent to engage in much needed sleep; leaving Astarion with his own rampant thoughts.
He had to admit that he absolutely adored the way you would get so worked up over his advances. No one had ever tried so hard to reject them— if they even tried at all —and the thought of it made his mind go crazy. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking of stretching your sweet cunt open; tasting every inch of skin you had to offer, absolutely ravishing you like he’d never had a drop to drink. It kept him up most nights, but it was only because you were playing hard to get. He knew whether or not you wanted to admit it; you needed him, and that thought was enough to solidify you as his prey.
But then there were those innocent glances, or sometimes even the smallest, feather-light touches you’d grant him every so often. Even the sound of your voice he found was a sweet symphony that cradled him in the warmest embrace; a feeling he hadn’t felt in all his 200 years of living-death. To say the feeling alarmed him was an understatement, but he figured it had to be a side-effect of these damn worms. Maybe his brain wasn’t functioning properly. Of course he couldn’t entertain anything real between them—the idea was plain insanity. She only serves one purpose, you fool. Stop playing games. You need her on your side.
As he pondered this, something strange happened. He felt the hairs on his body stand on end, almost as if electricity had coursed through the very make-up of his cold blood. An unfamiliar heat crept over his skin and warmed his cheeks. His ears perked at the sudden noise that erupted from your tent, and it made every cell in his body twitch. It took every ounce of him to stop the movement of his feet from approaching your abode, but the sweetness of that sound could not be ignored. All thoughts had been wiped from his mind as he closed in on the opening while his hand reached out to the cloth. He hesitated for a moment as his ears perked up again becoming aware of a new noise, and he couldn’t help but listen intently.
Tucked inside your tent you felt the heat building in the small space; your ragged breaths muffled by your own hand as your other worked tight circles on your clit. This is ridiculous; you thought. He was practically eye-fucking me. The damned bastard.
The image of his eyes flashed behind yours along with the feeling of his fingers trailing up your thigh; his breath fanning the nape of your neck. It drove you wild. You imagined him positioned between your legs; his tongue lapping at your juices as he fought to keep your legs steady so he could worship your cunt properly. I wonder how his curls would feel between my fingers.
You moaned at the thought, but pressed your hand tighter to your lips to avoid anyone hearing your lewd noises. You could feel your release coming, and with every circle your breaths became quicker and more difficult to conceal. Squeezing your legs tighter to create more friction, you felt the small earthquakes begin to erupt throughout your body, and a white veil shielded the world from your eyes. As you convulsed, you failed to hear the footsteps that approached your tent as your psyche was completely sabotaged with pleasure.
As quickly as you peaked, the electric feeling began to wane as your chest rose and fell in tandem with your animalistic breaths—grounding you back to the dull reality of your tent—while your fingers lingered over the sensitive bundle of nerves that twitched with painful aftershocks. You sucked in a deep breath and held for a few seconds before releasing the weight of your orgasm with it. Something in you felt so guilty and rotten for the act. We’ve never even had a decent conversation and your imagining him waltzing into your tent and absolutely destroying your cervix. Unbelievable.
Your hand slowly moved from your mouth to rest on the apex of your throat as if feeling a lingering hand there; like you were trying to fill an empty space that you hoped eventually would be awarded to someone. Your eyes peered above into the boring and equally uninteresting cloth that made your tent as your brain drifted to the Pale Elf’s captivating stare anew, making you lose your breath all over again. You knew there could be no future there with a happy ending, but would it hurt so bad to just entertain it if even for a moment? What if it could be everything you’d dreamed about, or conversely your worst nightmare? Was it worth the risk? Questions riddled your brain that you were too frightened to answer.
Then your body tensed with a sudden jolt when you’d finally heard it—the dirt just outside your tent crushing under someone’s feet. Before you could even look up from your very obviously lewd position you heard the swish of your tent flap, and your body did something similar to a cat arching it’s back in defense. You thrusted forward to cover what you could of your half-exposed body, and in the anxiety of it all your eyes met with deep carmine irises that were glazed with insatiable hunger. He was already halfway through the opening, but didn’t dare to dip even a shoulder in as his eyes raked over your figure. The scent of your orgasm lingered hot and fresh in the air and it maddened him to no end. Stupid Wizard. Why did he always have to be right? He recalled Gale’s intuition about you “occupying” yourself. Damn bastard.
There was a moment of tense silence as you both stared at one another—both in want and in need—but neither pair of lips could make out words. You clutched your blanket close to your chest to at least have a semblance of modesty, but you were fooling no one, and especially not Astarion.
“I’m sorry, my sweet, but I seem to have caught you at an excellent time.” His lips curled into a smug smirk as he drank in your reddened cheeks and your slightly parted lips. You were still hot from your orgasm, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to retort back with something equally infuriating and snarky. All you could feel staring into his eyes was a deep and ravenous sea of lust awash your entire being. Your lip caught between your teeth as you examined his face wondering what the hell you were supposed to say in a situation like this.
“I said I wanted to be alone. Apparently you’re hearing impaired.” You didn’t sound as sharp as you’d wanted to, but you frankly didn’t care.
“And yet your sweet noises were loud enough to catch my ear. If I didn’t know any better, maybe you wanted to be heard.” His voice dipped below his chords into a very slight growl and it ignited a flame in your stomach that couldn’t be satiated with mere banter. This required action, and a newfound confidence consumed your being as you leaned back in your bedroll.
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But I hardly see why that gave cause for you to waltz in here preening as if I have anything to offer you.” Your teeth bared in a prematurely victorious smile as you examined his full figure that was now nestled into the confines of your tent. He towered over your sitting figure; the shadow of it reaching to every corner of the room. It seemed to grow as he advanced on you quite suddenly when you felt his foot briefly brush against your own to stand at the foot of your bedroll. He shook his head as he beheld the sight of you; completely suffocating in awe and wonder at your figure beneath him.
“Oh no, my dear. You see, I am the one who comes offering. I cross my heart you won’t have to lift a pretty little finger.” His words drip like honey as his figure begins to shrink, taking you only seconds to realize that he was now on his knees with his hands placed firmly upon your own bent ones. His eyes pleaded you for entrance between your soft and supple thighs as he squeezed your skin to urge you on. Your lips fell slightly parted as you contemplated what was happening, and that it was in fact real. You had only moments to come to terms with whether the decision was morally right or wrong, but at this point fuck morality. In that moment you saw the absolute desperation and need he had to make you sing for him, and you couldn’t deny that it made you blush from within as easily as your cheeks had. You rationalized that you had no choice but to part your legs underneath the weight of his palms—breath hitching in your throat has he crawled in the empty space between them before hovering over the entirety of your figure.
“What a sweet little love you are. Are my words so captivating that you’d part your legs at the mere sound of them?” His hand grabbed your chin with the most gentle touch as he angled your gaze to better see him. He wanted to look at all of you, even to the deepest part of your beautiful eyes. He rubbed a feather-light finger across your cheek as his fingers trailed down the same area on your throat you had imagined earlier. Just moments ago so empty, and now you felt completely beguiled at the touch. He awaited your response while his fingers trailed your abdomen.
“If it were your words, we would have been in this position a long time ago.” You breathily sighed as you felt his fingers playing at the threads of the blanket that covered your exposed lower half. His eyes didn’t waver from your own even as your own parted his to look at his hands that inched closer and closer to where you so desperately wanted him.
“Ah, yes. I do believe it’s my gaze that get’s you so bothered.” He grabbed your chin once more, but this time more firmly, to direct your eyes back onto his own. Your mouth suddenly went dry when you felt his fingers dip lower, just barely grazing the hood of your clit, and you fought to keep in a whimpered moan at the sensitive feeling.
“Don’t keep those eyes off of me, darling. I want to watch every moment of your pleasure.”
You let out a soft moan as his fingers began to work gentle, insatiable circles on your sensitive nub. The intensity of his gaze was the only thing keeping you grounded in the blur of pleasure that began to build so quickly due to how recent your last orgasm was. Astarion felt a carnal lust building in himself, nearly drooling at how slick your folds were given your recent release. He wanted to hear those sweet moans for himself, and this time by his own hand. Your cunt was so needy for him that it took no effort to slip a dexterous finger into your core, and then another because he felt so generous. Your hips bucked slightly to create more friction as you already felt your second orgasm of the evening nearing; cheeks reddening in embarrassment as you began clenching around his fingers. He knew you would come undone momentarily, but he was lost in the way your brows furrowed together. The crinkle of your eyes when he would hit a certain spot within you. Your lips so plush and agape, which allowed your soft moans to travel into his ears and strike the deepest part of his dead heart so effortlessly. You were an absolute vision in his eyes.
He closed the space between you with a soft and gentle kiss if only to fill the gap in time he knew which your orgasm would arise. His tongue barely passing your lips; you couldn’t fight the way your hands lifted up to rake your fingers through his soft curls, tugging at them for stability in the kiss that you deepened. His fingers moved at a delicious pace as he brought you to your climax, and you already felt an emptiness in knowing that this moment was over. Even if you hadn’t ridden it out completely—your lips still connected—you felt hollow. Like there was something missing. You felt the gentle tug of his teeth on your bottom lip when he dragged it out, and your throat couldn’t help but release a deep moan as he awarded you with a few more small rubs to your sensitive spot before parting you too soon. He read the desperation in you like an open book, spying the emptiness behind your iris’. Still staring at your gorgeous face, he brought his soiled fingers to his lips before parting them; his digits disappearing into his mouth and cleaning your cum clean off. There seemed to be a new vitality that erupted in him at the mere taste of it, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his pretty lips.
“I’m not finished with you yet.”
Your eyes widened when Astarion broke the eye contact so suddenly, but quickly replaced your shock with content as he connected his lips to the skin of your heartbeat. You couldn’t speak words as you were still hazed from your second peak, but allowed him to work at your body like putty in his hands. He never lingered in a spot too long as he kissed his way down your sweaty body, catching a nipple between his teeth teasingly as he did so which made you whimper. He never once broke eye contact as he shackled you down with just a simple look. You were utterly smitten with him and what he was going to do, and his plead to keep your eyes on him seemed like a silly request to you now. You couldn’t imagine doing anything else but stare at him.
Astarion began to salivate as he neared your sex, knowing full well how slick you were from his touch. The smell of your arousal had filled his senses entirely when he’d reached that aching spot. It was almost instinct to dart his tongue out to catch the dripping juices that flowed from your beautiful cunt, and it was exactly as he had imagined. Though he was a Vampire, and accustomed to a very obviously blood based diet, he wouldn’t deny now that he could live off of the sweetness of your cum alone. As much as he desired to burry his cock in you, he knew the look of your face when his tongue connected with you so intimately would be ingrained in his brain for eternity.
You brought yourself to the upright position; your hands bracing your body behind you to better get a view of this moment. He effortlessly hooked both arms under each of your legs and held firmly at your hips to better spread yourself for him. He didn’t hesitate for a moment longer when you’d situated yourself, and promptly connected his hungry mouth to the mess between your legs.
The feeling couldn’t be overstated; nearly bringing you to tears. It was beyond the amount of pleasure that a being could endure in a single evening, and yet with Astarion there you felt like you could do this for hours. The way his tongue traced devious lines in between your folds, and the way it would dip to tease your entrance. He fought at the idea of pushing a finger inside, but when your hand made home in his white curls he knew he had to make you cum by his tongue alone. He decided then to take your sweet clit between his teeth to suckle on it just right, and deliberately released a hum of satisfaction that he knew would drive you mad. The pained whimper he received proved that his efforts were a success.
You refused to tear away from his eyes. They peered up at you through delicate lashes, and they exhibited such strong hunger that it nearly overwhelmed you. Slipping an innocent finger between your lips to bite back something—anything— from escaping them, you felt his tongue moving faster and with more desperation. His fingers gripped at the skin of your hips so furiously that you knew there would be lingering marks, but you didn’t care. If it was your choice, you’d wish for every mark he gave you to be permanent; a constant reminder of this insurmountable pleasure. Gods, you couldn’t imagine anything in the entire universe feeling this amazing.
Your body shook with another arising orgasm and Astarion’s lips parted you briefly, if at all, to speak.
“So beautiful,” his lips connected with you once again, but only in a gentle kiss, “So delicious.”
He brought his lips back to your spot again to resume his pace, and you threw your head back as far as you could without breaking your gaze. Your orgasm fizzed inside of you more intensely than you’d ever felt before, feeling yourself clawing at the confines of your mind for release. It was too much, far too painful and you were suffering, but you absolutely relished it. You nestled your fingers back into his soft locks as you helped to guide his movements against your aching nub, and his perfect movements mixed with your direction was enough to bring you to the edge of your peak. Your chest heaved heavy breaths in anticipation for your release, and Astarion’s eyes only grew hungrier as his mouth turned animalistic; ravaging your cunt with so much force that you actually felt a stray tear dance across your cheek.
When the moment came, Astarion was completely enraptured. The taste of your cum was so much different at the apex of your orgasm that it nearly brought tears to his eyes; that something so sweet could only be sweeter. He loved how your body shook with passion as the feeling flooded your senses, but nothing was as beautiful as the view his eyes had been graced with. When it came to you, there were no doubts; you were definitely different in every aspect. Even when you rode your orgasm out against his lips, he expected you to push him away, but you never did. You only peered down at him with blood-bitten cheeks and a smile from ear to ear.
“If you’re going to make a habit of calling me silly pet names like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darling’, you’ll be finding yourself in this position quite a lot.” A chuckle fought at the back of your throat when the words parted you, and you were relieved to see Astarion equally as amused. He rested his head on the ridge of your stomach while his hands traced light circles on the flesh of your legs, awarding you a toothy smile.
“Well, now I can’t imagine anything more enchanting than your ‘little death’, so maybe I should make it a habit. Of course, I’d only do that for my own benefit. Maybe a healing potion, or a new dagger. Definitely not for your pleasure or mine.” He raised a brow mischievously, and the tone in his voice let you know that he was only joking, because there was no hiding it on his face. He’d enjoyed the moment just as much as you, if not more. You were willing to bet now that he would stow away with you every evening to steal moments like this. Even he couldn’t deny that it had brought a warmth into him that he hadn’t felt in hundreds of years. He wanted to lock those images into the confines of his mind so that he might never forget them, replaying them only when he found himself engulfed in darkness with no hope of seeing the light.
“Definitely not. I couldn’t imagine anything more horrible.” You couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face, staring down at him in content. For the first time you could see him as he was; just a man. Your heart sang at the idea that maybe this was okay, and you’d both needed it. Maybe there was to be more in store for the two of you, but in this moment you were just happy with his presence.
He hadn’t even noticed he was lingering until you had fully flattened against the bedroll; your arms getting tired from holding your body up. He sat holding you like that for so long, laying against your stomach and gripping at your hips that he almost felt embarrassed. He’d never been one to linger after any sexual acts, but he couldn’t help but feel so safe with you. The comfort in knowing no words needed to be spoken. And as he got lost in his thoughts, you had already began to drift into blissful sleep with him attached to your abdomen, and he saw no reason why he had to leave.
So he stayed there all night, observing your peaceful face.
#18+ account#astarion#astarion bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate astarion#bg3#reading#smut#bg3 astarion#fanfic#fem reader#18+ mdni#mdni#spawn astarion#astarion brainrot#astarion x reader#reader imagine#18+ content
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Comic-Con 2008 - Enhanced Edition of Supernatural Panel
youtube
Direct link. Warning: Some of the special content I added has big spoilers for season 4 beyond the original videos.
This video features Jared, Jensen, Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, and Ben Edlund. If you've already seen the original videos and you're wondering why you'd want to watch this, see the details about the enhancements below. For other enhanced videos, check my YouTube channel or my Tumblr index post.
Video Improvements - Upscaled, fixed bad aspect ratios, improved colors
I received a great deal of help from @sensitivehandsomeactionman on the color correcting. They gave me tips on how to achieve better colors and they even took a screen shot from my video and corrected the colors on it with their own software to provide me with an example of what was possible. Having that example to reference was invaluable for me, because I'm not good with colors.
Without that help, Jared and Jensen would have looked like they were in training to become the world's tallest Oompa Loompas. Any remaining color wonkiness (Wonka-iness?) is due to my own failure to apply what I was taught and my failure to see the colors properly. But look at that difference! I was pretty excited about this.
Combined Videos to Cover Entire Event
As with my other enhanced videos, I combined multiple videos to create as seamless a video of the event as possible, from beginning to end. For my earlier videos, that meant combining maybe 5 videos. For this one, I used a total of 19 videos from 3 different sources. A lot of those were used for the talking head bubbles, explained further below.
None of the videos are my own. My video description on YouTube has links to the original videos I used.
Good, Color-Coded Subtitles
As with my other enhanced videos, I attempted to provide accurate and as-complete-as-possible subtitles. They're color-coded to make it easier to tell who's speaking. This is especially helpful when people are speaking at the same time, or when the speaker is off camera.
Since there were so very many people talking in this video, I doubled up on a couple colors if I thought I could do so without it being too confusing. Here's the complete color key:
Red = Jared
Blue = Jensen
Brown = Eric Kripke
Pink = Sera Gamble
Purple = Ben Edlund
Green = General audience
Yellow = The person asking the questions. In the first half this is the moderator, Alynda Wheat. In the second half, this is the fan at the mic.
White = Mostly the publicist (Holly Ollis), but a couple times it's used for people off camera who I believe were Comic-Con staff.
Two shades of orange = surprise guests
Additional Clarifying Content
As with my other enhanced videos, I've added some images to help add clarity to the references used by the speakers. I added images of characters and scenes referenced from the show, images to explain various pop culture references, as well as some explanatory text to help add details or clarity when I thought it might be useful.
I mostly kept this extra content to the sides so that, if it doesn't interest you, you can hopefully ignore it and focus on the main part of the video. Unlike my previous videos, sometimes this is on the left side and sometimes it's on the right side. The margins shift depending on where the talking head bubbles are.
Talking Head Bubbles - Jared and Jensen front and center, but other speakers visible too
This "enhancement" isn't anywhere close to perfect, but it sure as heck isn't from a lack of effort. This represented at least half if not two-thirds of the time I spent working on this video.
I always find the Comic-Con videos frustrating to watch. When the camera moves to other people who are talking, I want to see Jared and Jensen instead. I like to see their reactions and sometimes they do funny things that get missed. But when the camera is steadfastly focused on Jared and Jensen, I also get frustrated because I can’t see the people who are talking. Nope, you can’t win with me! I want to see everything.
I attempted to mitigate this frustration by adding talking head bubbles. The main source videos I used were the ones with the most constant and stable focus on Jared and Jensen. However, if one of the other source videos had a decent focus on another guest, I inserted a small window into that other video as seen below. Eric shows up on the left, because that's where he was seated relative to Jared. Sera and Ben show up on the right, because they were on the other side of Jensen.
Like I said, it's not anywhere close to perfect. Trying to make the bubbles look stable was an enormous challenge for me. Behind the scenes the person in the bubble was bobbing and weaving all over the original video frame, so I had to constantly adjust the position of the secondary video to keep the subject centered in the bubble. They also aren't always bubbles. The people taking the videos often had the writers on the edge of the frame because they wanted to capture Jared or Jensen too, so the bubbles start to collapse when they get too close to the edge because there isn't enough video surrounding them to form a circle.
I haven't decided if the end result was worth how much effort I put into these darn "bubbles", so I'd welcome any feedback -- good or bad.
#enhanced edition con video#j2#jared padalecki#jensen ackles#eric kripke#sera gamble#ben edlund#comic con#comic con 2008#Youtube
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You mentioned in the past that you thought yandere medic would be okay with sharing y/n with another person. How do you think that would go? maybe with heavy, since they’re so close? (If you aren’t doing request rn feel free to ignore this <3 have a good day )
anon,, my sweet beloved and treasured above all loving sentiment, if only you knew how long I've awaited this very ask....
I teased this idea way back (here, the first part obvi.). I've gone back and forth about going for it and writing out the prompt in full, as I think it would be very, very... enticing, and another one of those things I would love to read which must unfortunately start with a blank word doc. I wound up writing this to be rather light-hearted, but if anyone wants to see this scenario played out a bit darker, I'm open to the request!
But additionally, I know myself well enough as a person, and didn't really want to go through all that effort unless if was for a request, or unless I knew it would be for me and at least one other reader, because it feels only natural a multiple character x reader one shot should be long enough to give each character a decent enough feature, thus will (safe to say) always be much longer, and take much longer to write, than a regular x character oneshot. (If that makes any sense?) Anyhow, that's all to say, thank you, thank you, thank you ever so kindly for the ask, I really hope you enjoy how this came out, it was a pleasure to write. <3
Characters: The Heavy 🐻 and The Medic 🕊️ (Team Fortress 2)
Summary: Drunkenness and tenderness between comrades lowers inhibitions, let's hope your ambitions will rise to compensate.
Rating: X (MINORS DNI, YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T FOR YOU)
Content Warnings: AFAB reader, smut, three way, oral (female receiving), first time, size difference, slight intoxication, dubcon (nothing too intense, but for the sake of intoxication/slight coercion), heavymedic sandwich.
Word Count: 4.5k
MASTER POST
TIP JAR
(Song Inspo: Delicate Weapon- Grimes)
"when I say eat me, I mean suck the bones clean, leave nothing for the waiting, leave nothing for the vultures, or the travelers to come." “vivisection (you’re going to break my heart)” by Marty McConnell from The Best American Poetry 2014, edited by Terrance Hayes and David Lehman.
While the mission wasn't technically over yet, the work for the day was, and thank God for that. The job was simple enough, nothing more than a little errand run, fetching some supplies to bring back to home base, not necessarily requiring the combined efforts of you, Heavy and Medic. Still, when you were requested to accompany the two, you immediately agreed. So while the work bored you, the company would make it all worth it.
While the mission wasn't technically over yet, the work for the day was, and thank God for that. The job was simple enough, nothing more than a little errand run, fetching some supplies to bring back to home base, not necessarily requiring the combined efforts of you, Heavy and Medic. Still, when you were requested to accompany the two, you immediately agreed. The work bored you, but the company made it all worth it.
The road down was straightforward enough, and collecting the supplies was just as effortless, but the trip back was less so. A sudden and severe thunderstorm forced the lot of you to find a room for the night to accommodate all three of you and your cargo. Along with a few beers picked up along the way, a little treat to celebrate a hard day's work. While typically, you knew drinking on the job wasn't professional, this was a special occasion, and you knew it would be back to work once you returned home, so you might as well enjoy it while it lasted. Finding a suitable room big enough for all of you on such short notice was a miracle, but this place suited you well.
Two double-wide beds, a radio, an armchair, a couch, and a little kitchenette with an ice box to keep the beer nice and cold while you took turns changing in the bathroom out of work clothes and washing up a little. You took the initiative to contact Homebase regarding the delay.
A part of you was so tired you wanted to crawl into bed right away, but you weren't about to deny yourself a nice cold beer with friends. To your surprise, Medic sat in the armchair beside the couch while Heavy sat on the sofa, leaving the only open space to unwind next to Heavy, which you reclined comfortably into. Considering how they were practically glued to the hip most of the time, you didn't understand why they didn't sit together now. Also, you didn't like how Medic's eyes seemed to follow you across the room as you sat down next to Heavy, doing your best to keep a respectable distance between you and Heavy.
For some time, you relaxed, talking, listening to the radio, one beer turning into two, and two into two and a half as you settled more comfortably into the couch, no longer holding yourself so austerely, relaxing a little. Your head eventually resting on Heavy's shoulder, he looked at you, "Comfortable?"
You nodded, his body mass was so burly, and you could feel the warmth of his body through his shirt, making you feel a little giddy. "You're too cozy- I wanna sleep right here."
"Still cold from storm? I warm you."
It wasn't a question. And without waiting for a yes, Heavy effortlessly pulled you onto his lap, sitting you sideways on top of his legs. With one arm slung over your shoulder and one under your knees, he pulled you into his lap, the overwhelming closeness feeling sudden, but he was still so temptingly warm and comfortable you didn't want to pull away.
"Feel better?"
You giggled, nodding your head as he ruffled your hair playfully, keeping one arm around your shoulders as you settled against the arm of the couch. Your eyes were closed, your head feeling all floaty as you felt his hand move from the top of your head to the side of your cheek. His hands, no longer concealed under his gloves, felt calloused but so gentle against your cheek. He moved subtly, decisively. You didn't even realize he moved your face to meet his until you felt his lips connecting against your own.
Without warning, you pulled away sharply with the awkward rigidity of a stranger. Your actions caught Heavy by surprise, allowing you to detach yourself without restriction, though you could see his confusion through wide, frightened eyes. In a moment, you were made shockingly aware of everything the alcohol so effectively blinded you to before now. It was that awkward, sinking feeling of becoming all too aware of your own body all at once, aware of the space you were taking up, of how much of your body was pressed up against the massive Russian you shared the couch with, the clammy sweat coating your palms, the tension in your joints, yet most of all the butterflies in your belly which intensified into something less than pleasant. All of this awkwardness made you feel suddenly insecure about yourself, your form, and your relation to the men around you; how could you have been so blind to this before? For goodness sake, these were your coworkers; it was your responsibility to keep things professional between the lot of you, a task you could not more thoroughly have failed at. It was humiliating to realize you folded after just a couple of drinks, even if Heavy was playing along; it all felt so wrong and too pushy. Not to mention the fact Heavy was a taken man. The truth made all the more grievous, considering his partner was sitting right there facing the two of you. While the guilt for what you'd just done made you want to hide your face in shame, it was impossible to keep from looking at Medic. However, to your surprise, he merely sat there watching the two of you, cocking his head to the side slightly, with a confusion matching Heavy's as though you were the one acting strangely here.
"Something is wrong?" Heavy inquired, his hand on your waist tightening slightly, likely in reassurance, unfortunately having the opposite effect. It felt too awkward to look Heavy in the eye or face him at this point. So instead, you kept your gaze locked on the floor before the two of you as you nervously tried to squirm your way off the larger man's lap. All to no avail, however, as Heavy's grip on you was cast iron, and you resorted to clasping your hands together on your lap, speaking as levelly as you could, using all your willpower to keep the emotions and alcohol from causing your weak voice to crack, "I'm sorry, Heavy. I think I've, um-overstepped here; I shouldn't have, y-you know… Well, I mean, I think I'll turn in now- it's so late, already…."
Your voice trailed off, and you hated how wishy-washy you sounded, betraying your will to stay strong, to appear rational and firm as any reliable comrade should.
Heavy was not convinced. "You were fine when I pulled you on my lap. Why so tired so fast?"
Forcing a nervous laugh and uncomfortable forced smile, you tried to turn to Medic for reassurance, but he stared back, eyes squinting slightly, matching Heavy's suspicion. "Must be the alcohol's catching up with me then-'' It wasn't a total lie, as you could've sworn you could feel the alcohol churning in your gut, almost taunting you, forcing you to remember just how much you'd drunk in such a short amount of time.
"Explain." Heavy looked at you and deadpanned, waiting for you to tell the truth. You tried to swallow, but your mouth felt dry.
"I mean, aren't you two-" The awkwardness melded uncomfortably with the guilt; how were you supposed to explain yourself in a situation like this? "I mean- but you two are together, aren't you?"
"And?" Heavy spoke bluntly, putting you right back on the spot. You sighed nervously, nibbling at your lower lip and turning your head to face Medic.
"I just, I-I know it's not my business, but I mean- I can't imagine you're alright with any of this-'' You thought you knew your friends well, but you never would've imagined winding up in a situation like this with the two of them. To your surprise, a smile spread across Medic's face.
"Of course I am! This was my idea, after all!" You merely blinked at him, not at all following what he meant by that.
"Huh? What do you mean, it was your idea?"
"Well…" You could see his eyes flick from you to Heavy, silently asking for some backup. Heavy's fingers began to rub comforting little circles over your waist, his other hand covering your own hands on your lap in a reassuring gesture.
"You're pretty and kind but sp shy. We thought a little experience would help." His blunt words took you completely by surprise.
"Experience?" You managed. Heavy nodded, not at all registering the shock on your face.
"What he means is-" Medic chuckled slightly, interjecting, amused watching how flustered Heavy's words made you. "We thought if we helped you with a little, let's say, physical bonding-"
You opened your mouth, ready to ask what exactly he meant by this, but he pressed on.
"Nothing too intense now- just a little intimacy to get you more accustomed."
You hated how vague he was being, but also, you'd be lying if you said you'd never thought of being in a situation like this before. Only in your wildest, most unrealistic dreams, or so you thought. The two men were handsome in their own ways, you'd known before you got to know them, but you never liked to dwell on such lewd thoughts. You always felt so guilty afterward; they were your friends after all, even if just in your thoughts, you knew it was wrong to think so lustfully of friends.
Sure, there was always a little lighthearted play-flirting occasionally, but you would never have tried anything serious with either of them. Your friendship meant too much to risk losing like that.
You felt Heavy kiss the side of your head, murmuring in a low, uncharacteristically quiet voice into your ear, "You're shy but not sneaky. I see how you look at Doctor behind his back. He says you stare at me also. Is this true?"
Your breath hitched when he began to trail his beautiful, massive hand from over your hands, snaking it up your belly until it cupped the side of your face, forcing you to focus on him and meet his eye. Heavy drank in every detail of your face before settling his eyes on your lips, waiting for you to answer, and with a trembling exhale, you spoke, "It is." Before he could wait no longer, closing the space between your mouths once again, his lips curling into a smirk just seconds before his parted lips connected with yours.
While you were still awestruck at the surrealness of the situation, you felt your reservations evaporating by the second. Finally kissing back, you allowed Heavy to deepen the kiss as he used his hand to push your head closer against his. His thumb brushed over your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin as you felt almost uncomfortably overheated. He moved slowly but so lovingly, using his tongue to dip into your mouth and taste you, sucking against your lips as you broke the kiss with hesitation, asking,
"Are you sure you want to go through with all this?" He nodded with a mellow smile as you continued, still feeling traces of nervousness clinging to you stubbornly. "I'd never forgive myself if I ruined our friendship, and I, uh-" Despite your awkwardness and hesitation, Heavy smiled at you so resolutely, so affectionately. Watching you as though you were the most beautiful person he'd ever beheld.
"I don't want to let you down here. You guys were right; I've got no real experience here… I don't know if I'll be any good at this." It was almost shameful to say out loud, but Heavy didn't even blink, playfully kissing your cheek.
"Don't think of that. It's your time to learn, not lead."
He nuzzled his nose against your cheek, the feeling almost ticklish, making you stifle a giggle. "Just lay back and look pretty. You'll do perfect." He pulled away a little, his hand on your waist, tugging at your shirt a little; only then did you see how blown out his pupils were, "Will you come to bed now?"
It was time to be decisive. The abruptness of the question caught you off-guard, but you had no idea if you would ever get a chance like this again. This was your moment; it was time to act or wish you had. You swallowed your uncertainty and nodded, finally removing your hands from your lap to help Heavy pull off your shirt before reaching out to touch his own top and about to do the same. But he gave you a look that made you pause.
"This one off too? It's not too much? We only go as far as you want." As praising as he was moments ago, his firmness and evident respect for your boundaries made you feel all the more loved. You took this as your chance to try and charm him, as he did so effortlessly to you.
"The shirt off is better; I mean, I've always wanted to get a look under these clothes." The sound of Medic chuckling beside you made you realize you'd almost forgotten he was there in the first place. It felt odd knowing he was so close, though if this was all his idea all along, you wondered where he factored into all this. Pushing that thought aside, you helped Heavy remove his shirt as you curled a little closer, your head resting against his chest, your hand on his shoulder as you softly kissed his skin, nuzzling to feel the delightful feeling of skin-to-skin contact as much as you could. "Heavy, your body is so warm. You feel amazing." Your words were mumbled, quiet, and practically smothered as you spoke without moving your head much from his chest. You could feel his chest rumbling with a low laugh, and when you felt his hips gently press a little closer against your body, but you didn't shy away. You could feel he was aroused and didn't doubt he knew you were too. You felt the warmth between your legs intensifying the longer you felt Heavy's bare skin against yours, your thighs squeezing tighter and tighter, and you swore you could feel a bit of wetness from the kiss alone.
"Will you take me to bed now? Please?" The neediness gave you a bit of confidence as you looked up at Heavy, who needed no further incentive. You leaned against him for support as you both rose, your hand finding his as you two walked to the bed, laying down. At the same time, Heavy lingered for a moment overhead, distracted by the curves of your body now spread out like a banquet before him, eyes looking everywhere but your face. Then, for a second, you felt a twinge of insecurity, "I won't lie; I'm still a little scared this is gonna hurt."
Instantly, this snapped Heavy's attention back to your face as he sat beside you on the side of the bed, his hand finding yours again as he spoke, "We only go as far as you want… We can stop now if-" You didn't talk, just shook your head no, moving Heavy's hand with your own to the waist of your pants. He looked at you one last time for assurance. However, you could practically feel his hand trembling in yours with anticipation before you guided him to unbutton your pants, helping pull them off you. At the same time, you slinked out of them and your underwear, kicking them to the floor.
Even against your thigh, his hand loomed intimidatingly, the size difference so beautiful, making you shudder, wanting this man more than ever. You were so distracted by his hands you didn't even hear Medic sneaking up behind Heavy until you heard him speak. "How precious you two look~" You jolted a little in surprise, seeing Medic peering down at you from behind Heavy with narrowed eyes glazed over with lust, shamelessly checking out your nude figure, now stripped perfectly naked in front of him.
"You didn't forget about me so soon, did you?" He asked in a faux-hurt voice, "You're doing so well. Are you ready to go a little further now?"
"I am." You spoke without hesitation, the burning between your legs intensifying almost painfully as you shyly parted your thighs, feeling cool air ticking your sweaty skin as Medic walked to the foot of the bed to get a better view before you sat up a little, pushing away from the headboard as Heavy got into bed behind you.
"Heavy is here, right behind. You will be safe."
Before now, you remembered how painfully tense you felt, but at this moment, you were put at ease, comforted at last by the presence behind you, no longer so overwhelmed. How foolish you were to think your relationship with the two men had to be strictly business, how blind you were to the pleasure the two men had to offer.
"We will stop at any time-"
You cut him off with a kiss as he settled at the head of the bed, "I know I'm no good at showing it, but. I want this. I've wanted this for so long. You two mean so much to me, and I trust you."
You were about to say, 'I love you,' but you held back. You didn't have the guts to say something so bold. But you hoped Heavy, as well as Medic, understood, despite your shy quietness. There was a minute or two of moving around, Heavy moving from his spot at your bedside to get behind you; he spread his thick legs to give you space to settle between. Finally, you were lying down, your upper back and head resting on his belly, noticing the bulge in his pants as it pressed not-so-subtly into your back. Despite the lewdness of it all, you let your head fall back a little; Heavy's body felt so solid and warm behind you, it almost made you want to skip everything and just cuddle up and fall asleep already, but you knew Medic wouldn't allow such a thing.
"I'll start nice and slow, just for you." Medic's words were deceptively sweet, almost enough to hide his lustful intent. Your throat felt too dry to speak, so you merely nodded, feeling the heat in the pit of your stomach intensify at this new position. He was condescending to you, and yet you didn't even have the inner strength left to respond. Medic moved over you, his hands resting on Heavy's thighs around your head to keep you nice and caged, right where he wanted you. He could see it written all across your face; you were getting turned on being obedient like this, submitting and letting them take the lead. He leaned his body down further, enough for you to feel the rub of his pants over your naked flesh, the odd sensation making you wince as he slotted his knee between your legs, the gentle contact alone enough to make you jolt a little, startled.
"Aww, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? You must be pretty needy down there, aren't you? Did Heavy do a good job getting you warmed up?" Medic could feel your chest rising and falling rapidly as you breathe deeper. He continued, "You've masturbated before, haven't you?" The question caught you off guard. You looked at Medic with wide eyes, feeling another throb of arousal, seeing his predatory grin, one you'd seen countless times in battle but appearing like never before, given the current position. He pressed his knee a little harder against you.
"Y-yeah, I've- a lot, I guess…."
"Did you ever think of it like this? Your pussy leaking all over me while you grind against me as hard as you can?" You keened, your hips rolling against his clothed thigh, the muscle bulging distractingly beneath the thin covering. It was humiliating to have him mocking you while you were powerless to defend yourself, yet still, you wanted even more. He laughed, amused by your lack of a response, as though your brain was already succumbing so quickly to your own lust you forgot how to form whole sentences.
"Does it turn you on when I dirty-talk you like this? I bet behind that pretty face, you're even more perverted than either of us." You grit your teeth, biting back a moan.
"Medic, w-why are you keeping your pants on?" He paused momentarily at the abrupt question, looking at you with an eyebrow raised as you rushed to explain yourself. "I mean, doesn't it feel- like, weird?"
"You want to see me undressed that bad, huh?" Medic responded. Of course, he wasn't wrong, but the self-satisfied look on his face stopped you from admitting he was right.
You shook your head, "W-well, I mean, aren't you uncomfortable under all that?" He grinned, seeing right through your bluff. But, even though he knew you were lying, Medic wasn't about to press you too hard on the matter.
"You'll understand once you get more experience. But, you know, it can be just as rewarding to stay dressed, to keep control-" He paused to trail a finger from between your breasts down, just below your navel, the light sensation causing you to throb with want against his thigh. Continuing in a low, almost antagonistic tone, "While your partner is a wet, needy, naked little mess beneath you." He could not more clearly be mocking you, but something about it had quite the effect on you. Medic knew just how to push your buttons, and it was driving you crazy.
He was about to say something when Heavy's voice from behind interrupted.
"Medic, be nice. This is first time. You're embarrassing her. Don't overdo it." Thank God there was a literal angel over your shoulder to watch over you and reign in his partner.
"Perhaps, but it looks like someone's enjoying it." He was about to move his hand lower when you interrupted,
"Medic?"
He stopped his hand immediately, eyes meeting yours as you continued, "Can I get a kiss first?" You felt awkward, making such a bashful request compared to how confidently he spoke. His face softened at this, nodding before leaning closer, your hands cupping his cheeks. It felt good to be the first to deepen the kiss, your tongue flicking over his lip as his mouth parted, allowing you to get a better taste. Then, without breaking the kiss, his hand began to move down again, his thumb finding your clit quickly, causing you to moan into the kiss.
Your mind went blank with pleasure at the stimulation, his thumb rolling softly over your clit as his other fingers deftly traced the exterior of your sex, collecting the abundant moisture and spreading it over the entrance while you throbbed beneath his fingertips. You felt an almost painful burning feeling as his fingers moved faster, lips working in rhythm against your mouth; far better than any fantasy you'd felt before.
Medic broke the kiss, "Do you want me to use my mouth? Are you ready for that?"
Without waiting, you nodded, "Please! It feels so good- please, please don't stop!"
"Just wait another moment- need to make sure you're ready," Medic spoke in a sweet, gentle voice, so sickeningly sweet you could practically feel your heartthrob. He pushed two fingers inside, and you couldn't help but buck forwards at the contact. Making Medic hum in satisfaction at your reaction. You could vaguely hear him chiding you for your impatience, but you were beyond caring at this point, and when you felt him tracing painfully slow little circles around your entrance, you whined out loud in annoyance.
"Will you stop teasing already and get on with it- Fuck!"
Medic looked genuinely shocked momentarily at how bold you were, but it didn't deter him. Instead, without waiting for another moment, he dove his face between your legs as you unconsciously spread your legs further for him, leaning back against Heavy for support, arching your back, feeling his hands on your shoulders to keep you steady; it wasn't long until you felt Medic's hands just above your knees, his breath fanning against your pussy.
But far be it from Medic to let you off so quickly, and you groaned out loud as you felt his tongue moving, intentionally moving up and around your clit, but refusing to make contact. You were dangerously close to digging your fingernails directly into Heavy's thighs. But you forced yourself to move one hand to the top of Medic's head, your fingers clutching his hair, trying to guide him into place while you ground against his face. When you finally felt his lips connecting with your clit you were practically sobbing with bliss, the feeling intensifying as he began to suckle against the swollen bundle of nerves.
"More, more- Oh God, please- More!" You were getting louder than you intended, but fortunately, the radio likely kept anyone from overhearing any of this, but you only got louder as he began to suck harder. His tongue lapped upwards, swirling against your clit, as he moaned into you, swallowing as much as he could. You felt feral. Like you were burning hot on the inside, but Medic kept tempo without issue. Finally, you could feel your climax coming on, rolling your hips even harder, unintentionally pulling his hair just as fiercely. Still, if he was bothered by this, he didn't say anything, slurping contently as you finally felt the end coming on. And you trembled, feeling your body awash in ecstasy as you succumbed to the blinding pleasure between your legs.
It was an embarrassingly long time until you managed to catch your breath, the gap in experience between you and them becoming painfully obvious once again. Your throat felt so dry and scratchy from your heavy breathing and moaning, much like a scorched throat from pushing yourself in physical training. Though other than that, you were in a situation unlike any you'd known before. Naked, slick with your own sweat, your mind still tipsy and unstable from your orgasm.
You could feel Heavy's hand petting at your hair from behind, and you couldn't help but swoon, feeling so supported and intimate with him after such a perverse moment. "You look so pretty when you come." There was an edge in his voice, and you thought he was indirectly asking if you wanted to go again, but you were too tired, too used up to think about doing this all over again. You didn't know how to respond; thankfully, Medic spoke first.
"It would be a shame if we kept this a 'one-time-thing,' wouldn't you agree?" And you felt your headrush, this evening felt too good to be true, nothing less than a dream come to life, but the promise of more was all the better. Nodding, you focused your gaze on Medic as he moved from between your legs; you responded, "So long as it's ok with you, I'd never want to come between things-"
You felt like a rag doll, limp and being pulled lifelessly by the other two, Medic facing you, arms around your back, pulling you into his chest. "Don't worry about it; you're the one with much more to learn here." You felt Heavy's enormous arm pull the both of you tighter into his chest. And at this moment, sandwiched between the warm bodies of two men you cared more about than anyone else in the world, you prayed the night would never end.
#anonymous#request#x reader#yandere#self ship#tf2 x reader#yandere team fortress 2#tf2 smut#yandere tf2 x reader#yandere x reader#yandere smut#yandere imagine#poly yandere#poly x reader#tf2 medic#tf2 medic x reader#yandere tf2 medic#tf2 medic smut#tf2 heavy#tf2 heavy x reader#yandere tf2 heavy#tf2 heavy smut#yandere oneshot
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Soo I saw that you were looking for some writing inspiration/requests and I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a Thorin x Reader fic where Reader is part of the company and both of them really admire each other but are too afraid to admit it at first and before they confess their feelings there's some sort of miscommunication?
This just came to my mind and I hope it could inspire you a little :)
hey !! thanks so much for requesting something !! I tired my best but I have not written for Thorin before so sorry if he's a little ooc haha. Also sorry this took so damn long I kept starting and stopping and also screwed up my sleep schedule and then 3 days in a row kept getting stomach aches and just couldn’t write more than three lines T_T. If it feels inconsistent or confusing I’m sorry I got lost in the sauce and COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS DOING but I hope you enjoy anyway :)
warnings : none
details : reader is human, marriage plot that isn’t super important besides like ^^ the request
pre-post edit: I just went back and read the request again and this might not actually be what you asked for so uh, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna post this anyway bc well it’s written but if you don’t like it lmk and I will try again :)
𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
It was safe to stay that Thorin was not the happiest camper when you joined the company, but he couldn't deny that you intrigued him a bit. Only a little though, you must understand.
You had joined the company a fair bit later, when they were stopped by the tolls. You had arrived just before Gandalf and saw the group tied up. You were going to ignore them and just carry on your way, after all it wasn't any of your business. But watching the little hobbit try and stall for time while none of the dwarves caught on was amusing enough for you to lend your aid. You had a talent for sneaking around, you made no noise when you walked, had no scent you left behind, and with little effort could blend into any environment.
You crept up onto the rock behind where the group of dwarves was tied and dug around in your bag until you pulled out a mirror. The sun was coming up and just peaking over the rock that the trolls had been staying behind. Laying down flat you brought the mirror in front of yourself and moved it until it caught the sunlight and began to reflect it. You bounce it around for a moment, attempting to get a good angle. Finally, you hit the troll standing farthest away right in the face, there was a small noise it made but it was cut off by it's mouth turning to stone. Quickly its head and shoulders and chest also turned to stone.
"Huh, you say something?" The one troll that had been talking to the hobbit said as he turned around along with the other one that was standing over by the fire. They both gasped and the one that had been talking to the hobbit rounded on the little guy again, "what did you little ferret do?!"
"Ferret?" The hobbit stuttered for a moment, doing his best to hop away but fell on his butt. "N-Nothing, I- we didn't do anything."
"Why you little-" The troll made to grab the hobbit but you quickly adjusted your mirror and light been to hit the troll on the side of the head. It started to turn to stone and in an attempt to stop it the troll reached up to block the light but only managed to turn his hand to stone. The other troll shrieked in terror.
"The dawn will take you all!" Cried someone from atop the bolder with a booming voice. A second later he slammed his staff down and the bolder cracked in two, letting the sunlight pour through. All the trolls turned quickly to stone and the dwarves set quickly to setting themselves free. You slid back down the bolder and pocketed your mirror. For some reason, you didn't immediately leave.
"I think we owe someone our thanks." Said a older white haired dwarf as he walked up to you. Gandalf followed him.
"Y/n, fancy running into you here, though I can't say I'm upset." The old wizard smiled at you. You smiled back at him.
"Good to see you too, Gandalf." You turned and offered a bow to the old dwarf and "the name's Y/n, at your service."
The old dwarf smiled, he seemed very pleased with your politeness, and bowed back, "Balin, at yours."
"Is this the company you mentioned Gandalf?" You asked turning back to your old friend.
"What do you know of this company?" Came a rumbling deep voice from your left. You hadn't realized that someone else had joined you. His arms were crossed and judging by the slight crease in his brows he was not very happy.
"Ah- well," you cleared your throat and looked to Gandalf for help but he offered none. "You must be Thorin," you bowed the same as you did for Balin. "I know of your journey, Gandalf told me." Yes, blame the old wizard, that's fine.
Thorin turned to Gandalf with a glare, silently demanding an explanation from him. Gandalf cleared his throat and shifted his weight on his feet slightly, "I first asked Y/n to be our burglar, however she refused me."
"I had family business to attend to at the time." You said and Thorin turned his glare onto you, you stiffened slightly and suddenly wished you didn't say anything at all.
"What are you doing here now?" Thorin asked.
"Well... I was looking for you guys. I figured if I followed your road I'd come across you eventually."
"Why?" Thorin was not looking very pleased. You felt small under his stare and began to fiddle with your hands.
"I was hoping that, well, you may have room for another walker in your company?" Your expression changed into something unsure as you shrugged your shoulders. All Thorin did was stare and you glanced at Gandalf for help.
"She can be of use Thorin, she's very quiet this one, great for sneaking around." Gandalf nodded his staff towards you.
"She also did just save our skins." Added Balin and you were very grateful he had not walked off.
Thorin thought for a moment, but it felt like en eternity. He eyed you up and down before turning away and beginning to walk off. "Fine. But don't slow us down. If you do you'll get left behind."
You've been traveling with the company since then. So far you've made very good friends with everyone but particularly Fili, Kili, Balin and Bilbo. Over time you've also begun to greatly admire the leader of this company, Thorin.
You couldn't deny that you thought he was attractive, you had thought that from the moment you met him. But it was more than just looks you liked about him, you admired how much he cared for his people, his sense of duty to bring them back to their home in Erebor. He carries such a huge burden all on his own and is able to do it with grace and dignity, you understood a little of what that meant, though on a much smaller scale. He was brave and even though he was a king he was always first to throw himself into a fight to protect those around him. And even though he seemed cold on the surface it's very obvious that he cares for all his companions and would do whatever it took to make sure they were safe.
"Watcha lookin' at?" You jumped, Kili had his face right next to yours leaning over your shoulder. He laughed and sat on the rock next to you with his back facing the fire, you smack his arm.
"How long were you there?" You grumbled.
"Oh I don't know, long enough to notice you staring dreamily off at my uncle." He clasped his hands together out in front of him and bat his eyelashes at you in a teasing manner before bursting out laughing like someone told the most hysterical joke known to man.
"I was not! I was just thinking and I zoned out..."
"Sure, sure, whatever you say." Kili said once he stopped laughing. "You know you're so obvious right? Everyone sees it."
"Sees what?" You asked with a raised eyebrow and Kili rolled his eyes.
"That you're in love with him!" Kili hit you on the shoulder. "I think it's a good thing personally, Thorin needs someone like you. Someone fun who can lighten his mood, he's always so stoic these days, believe it or not he used to be fun."
"I'm not in love with him." You said and put your chin in your hands, your mood had soured and Kili didn't understand why. "I'm due to be married."
Oh. Oh. Thorin stopped listening.
He had realized you're staring a while ago. He thought, or maybe hoped, that you where staring at him, but it seems you really where just zoned out and didn't realize you where looking in his direction. He started paying attention more when Kili wandered over and tuned in when the two of you started talking. But now he didn't want to listen, you were probably going to go on talking about whoever it is that you're going to be married to and he didn't want to hear it.
"You ok there laddie?" Balin asked appear at his side.
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" And it came out a little more snappy than he would've liked.
"No particular reason, just looked like you were staring off into space. But by your tone it sounds like something is on your mind?" Thorin thought for a moment before deciding he shook his head.
"I'm going for a walk." Was what he settled on and he got up and left.
"You what?!" Kili said in shock. "What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly what I said. Once I go back home I am to be wed."
"You don't sound very happy about it..."
"I'm not." You said. "I don't want to marry him."
"Then why are you?" Kili sounded almost mad. You furrowed your eyebrows at him.
"Because I have to Kili. I'm the oldest in my family and with our dad dead I have to be the one to bring in money somehow. There aren't many jobs for women where I am and this guy has enough money to keep my family off the streets and well fed. The reason I decided to seek out this company and join the adventure is because this is the last one I'll be able to go on..." Kili was silent.
Suddenly he shot up on his feet and rounded the rock to stand in front of you. "Thorin is a king. We are going to reclaim our home that is filled with mountains of gold. Tell Thorin you love him and then you can be happy and save your family! It's as simple as that!"
"Thorin is a king. It's not as simple as that."
Kili was making that face he does when he's confused and upset. Eyebrows creased together, pouting, and over all looking like a sad puppy dog. "Get up," he said and tugged roughly on your arm to pull you to your feet.
"What are you doing?!" You half shouted at him as you tried to pry yourself free. "Let me go you lunatic!"
"I'm looking for my uncle." He said and you froze for a second before beginning to fight him again. "He deserves to be happy and so do you, all it takes is for you to admit your feelings to him."
"How do you know that's all it takes?" You snapped and stopped struggling for a moment. "How do you know he thinks of me in the same way I think of him?"
You were every serious, Kili however was not and was looking at you like you had just said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. He sighed exasperatedly, your face crumpled in confusion. "Where is he? Do you see, Thorin?"
You took a look around the fire, "um, no, I don't."
Thorin was walking through the woods, he could still see the campfire and hear the voices of everyone so he wasn't far if anything went wrong, but he was far enough that he couldn't properly see any of the individual figures. You had a fiancé? You were going to be married. Thorin didn't know how to describe how he was feeling in this moment. Upset? Mad? Disappointed? Perhaps blindsided was the word, but how could just being blindsided by this information be enough to make him feel this bad. Why did he even care so much?
Well actually he knew why he cared so much. It probably had something to do with that intense warmth that spread throughout him whenever he looked at you. That tightening in his chest whenever you smiled, even if it wasn't at him.
He had noticed a while back the way he was beginning to think of you, but he shoved it down. Hid it away in fear that it would start to interfere with this quest. He needed to make a conscious effort to treat you the same as everyone else. But he still always caught himself wondering if you were tired and needed to rest, if you were warm at night, if you had enough to eat or drink. After a battle or after running away from orcs he always made it a point to check on you personally and he couldn't relax until he did so.
When you first met he thought you were attractive. Just a passing acknowledgement that, for a human, you were nice to look at. But over time, after seeing the way you would blend with the others in conversation, how even though you were the best fighter you still valued the others safety and were willing to put yourself at risk, how much Fili and Kili liked you. You were so kind and unassuming and you always offered to help.
One thing that stood out to Thorin, and that he especially admired about you, was that you stood up to him. It might sound weird, but he liked that you questioned him, and when you thought he was wrong you pointed it out. It didn't happen often, but when you did say he was wrong about something you were usually right. You argued with him when no one else did and somehow he thought that was very attractive of you.
He let out a long sigh and rubbed his temples, all of this thinking was useless. And also making him feel worse, like the hole in his chest was growing. The laughing from around the fire tuned him fully back into his surroundings and with one last look around (so he could at least say he was checking the parameter) he started to head back to camp. As he exited the trees and came back into the little clearing he heard the sound of his nephew.
"Aha! There he is!" Looking to his left Thorin saw Kili and he was pulling you with him. Well, not so much pulling as he was dragging, you were tripping over your own feet with every step and looked about ready to fall.
Kili then yanked you forward, practically throwing you into Thorin with a grin on his face that Thorin just knew meant that Kili knew something he didn't. Thorin reached out and caught you before you could face plant. "Kili, what's going on?" You scoffed as you stood up straighter and brushed yourself off, you had a very sour look on your face that just made Thorin more confused and slightly concerned.
"Y/n has something to talk to you about." He said and winked before running off to go whisper about something with his brother. There was a long stretch of silence and it was very quickly becoming awkward.
Thorin cleared his throat, "there's something you wanted to talk to me about?"
You jumped slightly, Thorin was standing there, hands clasped behind his back and face as un-telling as ever. You chuckled, "oh, uh, it's nothing really. Not that important or anything, you know Kili this is just one of his- uh- things..."
Thorin just grunted in response and turned away. You probably could've used this opportunity to run away but for some reason you didn't. There was another long silence, the two of you just standing next to each other and looking at the rest of the company sitting around the fire. At some point you saw Gandalf look over at you two and when he looked away you could've sworn there was a knowing smile on his face.
"I hear you're getting married once you return home after the journey." Thorin said suddenly.
"What?" You said whirling to face him, "how do you know about that?"
"I over heard you and Kili talking about it." He answered simply and without looking at you. You creased your brows before turning back to look at the company and the fire. Thorin glanced at you, "whoever he is, he's a lucky man."
"And I an unlucky woman." You said with a huff. "I don't want to marry him."
"Oh? Why not?" Thorin asked and turned to you.
"Why? Well for one he is the most arrogant self righteous man I have ever met. He thinks he's the gods gift to man and that everyone he interacts with owes him something. The only reason I even agreed to this arrangement with him is because if I don't my family will lose everything. I much rather marry-- someone else."
After your rant Thorin was feeling significantly lighter. He caught your stutter at the end and the side of his mouth corked up. "Y/n, what was it Kili wanted you to tell me?"
You turned to look at him, eyes wide, but were comforted by the smile on his face. "Well," you said looking up and away to avoid eye contact and clasping your hands in front of you. "Kili wants me to tell you that I'm in love with you. And I am, in love with you I mean."
Thorin chuckled and you peaked back at him, he had a soft smile on his face. "Maybe you're not as unlucky as you thought armâlimê.”
You opened your mouth like you were going to say something, but then what he said seemed to register. You paused and then looked over at him, “what did you just call me?”
He smiled at you softly and took your hand and looked down at it as he spoke, “we can figure out what to do about your family’s situation after the quest, I trust it won’t be to hard to find a solution then.”
Silently your hand tightened around his, touched by what he had said. “And just for the record,” he added looking up into your eyes, “I love you too.”
From a little ways away, over by the fire, you could hear whispered cheers and groans, and the clink of coins being exchanged. You looked over and Kili grinned back, shooting you a thumbs up and you couldn’t help but laugh feelings as light as air and happier than you ever have before.
#OH MY *FUCKINGG* GOD ITS DONE#I died a little bit while writing this#also watched NINE AND A HALF HOURS of Winx club while I wrote this#if this is ASS I didn’t reread it before posting so sorry for any mistakes and stuff but I fear if I reread it I will hate it#lotr#lord of the rings#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#thorin x you#thorin x reader#thorin oakenshield x reader#thorin’s company#fili and kili#the company of thorin oakenshield#kili durin#fili durin#thorin son of thrain#the hobbit x you#the hobbit x reader#the hobbit x y/n#lotr x you#lotr x y/n#lotr x reader#lotr fic#the hobbit fic#lotr fanfic#the hobbit fanfic#thorin fic#thorin oakenshield fic#gandalf the grey
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I think I'm gonna post Blue Beetle stuff here first and not worry about things like editing and coming up with a summary and thinking up a title. I'm running off vibes right now and don't wanna wait.
This is totally inspired by @wazzappp's anatomy post. I already wanted to do something about why it took (relatively) longer for Jaime's back to heal and that post just gave me more to write about. I wanna write more too! So throw body horror ideas at me plz!!!!
---
After the wake and the funeral and the burial and the mourning, after everything calmed down and everyone had a chance to breathe, Jaime looked at the scarab on his back again.
It wasn’t the first time he’d showered since everything, of course, but it was the first time he’d been able to focus on his thoughts instead of quietly disassociating until he was clean. Now he was appreciating the amenities in the hotel suite Jenny’d set the Reyes family up in while their home was repaired. There was a rainfall shower head. The toilet had an actual bidet that had sprayed Rudy’s ass the first time he’d taken a shit.
As always Khaji was ticking away in the back of his head, reassuringly present in a way Jaime didn’t want to look too closely at yet. It didn’t say anything though.
“Soap won’t bother you, right?” He hadn’t scrubbed himself down in a week or so. Partly because he’d been busy and then distracted, but also because just the shampoo running down his back during the first shower after it all had burned at the raw edges between his skin and Khaji Da.
Correct. We are fully healed now.
“Bien.” He squeezed the last of the sample sized hotel soap onto a washcloth and reached over his shoulder to start scrubbing. The scarab between his shoulder blades is anchored firmly, he can feel its legs under his muscles.
That wasn’t a surprise. Jaime had felt every moment of Khaji burrowing up his spine and digging a home in his back. What was new was the strange… straps? the straps crossed above his shoulders and under his arms beneath his skin. They came from the scarab, where its front and back legs would be like, like it was some kind of awful fucking backpack.
“Khaji?” Jaime dropped the washcloth and shifted so he was able to trace up his spine. The three knots of alien tissue that Khaji had left like breadcrumbs also had straps running below his skin. Bending forward, Jaime realized he was able to feel where the straps anchored and the dips in his back where nothing had changed. “What am I feeling Khaji?”
The anchors for my carapace and sensory nodes. It hesitated, something it had only started doing after, as it started to learn when and when not to elaborate. They secure me and reduce the risk of damage or dislodgement. The growth of new tissue is why your back took so long to heal. Our efforts were split: your body prioritized your epidermis and my systems prioritized my security.
Sure. That made sense. Self preservation was a thing for alien symbiotes. The odd tug Jaime’d felt moving around was the growth of Khaji’s anchors and not muscle soreness like he’d assumed. Or maybe Khaji’s anchors counted as muscles. Wonderful. It also answered a question he’d never thought to ask: why his back had looked so bad for so long while cuts and scrapes healed in minutes. Great.
The hotel probably didn’t let guests on the roof.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t get there.
Jaime waited until after his shower, after Millagro took over the bathroom, after he hugged Mama and Nana, and after he swore up and down to Rudy that he wasn’t gonna fly off, to go to the roof. He made his way up the stairs, shorted out the electronic lock with a subtle lick of blue energy, and laid down on the flat gravel and tar paper roof. Like this he could feel Khaji and its nodes digging into his back alongside larger chunks of stone, foreign objects embedded in his body.
The sky was clear, but this close to Palmera, the stars might as well be invisible except for the most bright. Still enough to ground Jaime, to make him feel a part of life when everything was too much. A jet flew overhead, beacon flashing against the night. Jaime wondered if it was coming or going.
Flight DL1332 is on approach to Palmera International, Khaji intoned.
“Huh. How d’you figure?” Jaime folded his hands behind his head to cushion it.
After a moment the itching growth of the blue beetle’s carapace spread across the backs of his hands and arms. It stopped short of the full thickness armor Khaji was capable of, only forming the tough black underlayer.
They are communicating using radio frequencies. It is not difficult to interpret.
“Cool.”
Would you like to listen?
Jaime sighed. “Sure.”
Static faded into Jaime’s ears, interrupted regularly by steady trailing voices. It was calming. Like listening to another language, even though the pilots and controllers were still speaking English.
#my writing#the doc title is Operation pimp my ride#Operation pimp my ride#Jaime: if I ignore it everything will be fine#Khaji: I am helping and also doing a good job#but srs plz reply or reblog or ask me ideas for this kinda thing#blue beetle#blue beetle movie#blue beetle 2023#jaime reyes#khaji da
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Jeongin - Taste
In Your Past - Chapter 3
Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU
Living in a world where soulmates are real, and everyone deals with it differently. Prequel to 'Pieces of My Heart'; how each member dealt with their soul marks, and first meetings.
Masterlist | Pieces Of My Heart
Jeongin always had a deep appreciation for food. Even before he turned 18, he liked to savor the food he ate, enjoyed the taste of his favorite foods and the comfort they brought him. He was always so conscious of the food that he was eating that he realized immediately the day after his 18th birthday when he started tasting things he didn’t eat. His mouth would suddenly explode in flavors, and he knew immediately that it was his soulmate.
The others were very excited to hear about his revelation.
“Our little maknae is all grown up!” Changbin had exclaimed.
“What are they eating right now? Wait, no. Are they eating something right now?” Han questioned.
Jeongin laughed. “They’re not eating anything right now, but I think they had something sweet earlier. It tasted like chocolate.”
They thought it was the coolest thing ever. They would randomly ask him about it, wondering what his soulmate was up to, and he found himself offhandedly mentioning the random tastes that he would experience when it happened.
“Oh, they’re eating peanut butter.”
“Hmmm, meat? Might be a hamburger.”
He remembers the particularly bad timing of one of his soulmate’s meals. They had just eaten a nasty combo of food, right in the middle of filming, and he had to resist the urge to gag for the next 20 minutes until the taste finally wore off. Channie-hyung and Lee Know-hyung then teased him after the shoot.
He was embarrassed, worried that he had ruined the entire thing (and also worried about the sanity of his soulmate to eat something so disgusting), and the company ended up editing out most of his faces for fear of someone finding out what soulmark he had. His manager told him it wasn’t his fault, but he still felt guilty for the extra time the editors had to put in to work around it. Still, he understood the necessity.
While soulmarks were so common that it was almost expected for celebrities to have them, but for idols it was expected to maintain the illusion of accessibility. To reveal a soulmark would essentially isolate a group of people from delusional believing they were made for their bias, and to ruin that illusion would ruin the popularity of a group.
It was disgusting that neither he nor the rest of the boys could talk about something so integral to their entire personality - his soulmark was the reason he always carried gum on him, and Felix’s soulmark made it impossible for him to utilize color schemes without the help of another.
Sometimes he found himself wishing he could talk about it. His soulmark was so odd, one of the most uncommon sensed based soulmarks, and he knew it would be next to impossible for him to find his soulmate based on it alone. He worried about it sometimes, whether he would ever meet them. He knew it was stupid, but he often found himself scrolling through forums, reading through posts made by other people with rare or ‘useless’ soulmarks.
‘I have a smell based soulmark … but my soulmate has the worst sense of smell! It took us nearly 30 years to finally meet, and that only because he had my first words. Can you imagine if he had initials, or taste, or something else equally vague? We never would have found each other!’
‘I’m 58 and have yet to find my soulmate. I have initials, and despite my best efforts to get to know the names of everyone I’ve ever met, I simply have yet to find them. I’m convinced that my soulmate has to have a bad soulmark as well, otherwise they would have come looking for me by now, right?’
‘Don’t worry too badly, I was 75 when I met my soulmate. Already happily married and with children, but they became one of my closest friends in such a short amount of time. When my wife died a year later, it was their support and friendship that kept me going. They showed up in my life right when I needed them, and I can’t imagine what I would do without them.’
He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t imagine having to wait 30 years, let only 70 to meet his soulmate. There was this longing that felt like it had dug a permanent hole in his chest and left him with a gaping hole, pulsing with need strong enough that it consumed his every waking thought.
Would his soulmate like this?
What would his soulmate think about that performance?
What’s his soulmate doing now?
He wanted them. He wanted them so badly that when someone came running up to him on the street claiming to be his soulmate, he only hesitated long enough to make sure they were telling the truth before he finally let that deeply held longing consume him.
Pulling them into his arms felt like healing, and suddenly he was whole again.
He couldn’t hold his excitement when Channie-hyung called him, so eager to share the news. He wanted the members to meet you, wanted to show you off to them, to his parents, to the world. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops. He was unable to stop smiling, fingers laced firmly around his own the whole walk back to the hotel, practically vibrating.
He felt a lump grow in his throat when you told him that you had other soulmates. It made his stomach feel fluttery when he had the same realization as you, watching as you walked towards Hyunjin and Seungmin’s shared room without a thought, eyes firmly on something he couldn’t see.
He wasn’t sure why he hated the thought of sharing you so much.
You were his, sure, but you didn’t belong to him. He wasn’t even sure your soulmate bond would ever be anything more than platonic, and it would be selfish of him to keep you all to himself. But even as he plastered on a fake smile, he was secretly hoping you would agree to wait to meet the others.
He just wanted you to be his, only his, just a little longer.
But then you looked up at him with a dazed look, eyes darting across his face with childlike wonder, and he felt something melt inside him.
“I’ll always be yours, Jeongin.” You whispered.
And suddenly he wasn’t so afraid of losing you anymore. The lump disappeared, the butterflies settling down in his stomach, and he gave you a genuine smile. It was only later as he watched the rest of the members surround you, watched as everyone’s faces became dazed with happiness, and saw the way your eyes held the stars as you looked at each and every one of them, that he realized maybe it would be so bad to have someone to share this feeling with.
And who better than his members to make sure that his soulmate would never have to be alone, never have to deal with the longing he himself had felt? For the first time in a long time, Jeongin wasn’t worried about what the future held. He was happy.
#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids x you#skz x you#chan x reader#chan x you#bangchan x reader#bangchan x you#changbin x reader#changbin x you#lee minho x reader#lee minho x you#minho x reader#minho x you#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x you#han x you#han x reader#jisung x reader#jisung x you#felix x you#felix x reader#seungmin x you#seungmin x reader#in x you#in x reader#jeongin x reader#jeongin x you#stray kids fanfic#In Your Past
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X-Files Collector's Edition: S8 Mulder Resurrects to a Miracle
Thanks for @goodshipsmulder for the suggestion~.
Mulder finds out about Scully's pregnancy off-screen between Deadalive and Three Words. What was said? How might that have gone down? These ideas are explored in these fics (and a few extras thrown in because.)
Loose chronological order below~
@agentwhalesong/sadandangstyagent’s (Ao3) Could It Be Any Harder? - Chapter 4
""He doesn’t seem to understand anything, so he just stays there, accepting the love that is pouring out of her.""
Post Deadalive Mulder's groggy questions aren't able to be fully answered before he drifts back to sleep.
Agent L's (mulderscreek)
Duet
""Scully...?"
"Yes, Mulder?"
"Will I be able to play the piano again?"
"Well, Mulder, I...You don't play piano.""
Post Deadalive Mulder hasn't felt the effects of PTSD yet, cracking jokes and willingly reaching to feel his child move.
Wish List
""I want my life back. Sounds selfish for a guy just raised from the dead, I know, but I've never been one to be satisfied with the status quo.""
Post Deadalive Mulder's impatience-- itching to leave and itching for answers-- is soothed by the balm of Scully's presence.
@lyndsaybones’s (Ao3) Oh
""Like a breath. Like a secret wound opening up. He pulls his hand away.""
Post Deadalive Mulder responds to Scully's announcement with an "Oh."
@leiascully's (Ao3) Part of Us (Tumblr)
""He raises her hand to his lips. It’s an effort, but he manages. “I’m here and I’m staying,” he tells her. “What happened while I was gone?""
Post Deadalive Mulder responds to Scully's announcement with an "Oh", take two.
@msrafterdark (Ao3)
Five Sentence Fics (Tumblr Prompt) - Chapter 2
""She was mute for a moment, and while he easily recognized the softness in her eyes, he also noted a slight glimmer of impatience, as though she was insulted by his not believing this miracle belonged to him.""
Post Deadalive Mulder is shocked with the baby's paternity confirmation.
XScribe/Red's (Gossamer, spookyawards_archivist) Alive
""He looked up, confusion and yet a sense of incredible wonderment lighting up his beautiful hazel eyes. He looked at her and she didn't say a word. He shook his head, looked away, looked back at her again. She smiled, and a hot tear fell down her cheek before she could stop it. He reached out and caught it with a finger.
"Scully?" His voice was small, almost boylike, fearful yet hopeful.""
Post Deadalive Mulder wakes, surprised and grateful Scully didn't leave. Both of them tear up at her paternity confirmation.
ScullyLikesScience's He is the Master of His Fate, She is the Captain of Her Soul - Chapter 85
""They stared at each other. Mulder counted backwards in his head. Scully hoped for some kind of positive reaction. They were still silently gazing at one another when the door opened, and Mulder’s physician, Dr. Nelson Lim, entered the room to go over some test results.""
The events of Deadalive unfold, which eventually leads to Mulder waking a second time to a whirlwind of confusion... and it all becomes too much.
@scullys-right-eyebrow-txf/ScullysRightEyebrow's The Only Choice - Chapter 40
""Just as a soft smile appeared on his face, Mulder recognized apprehension in her eyes. His brow furrowed in concern and then he took in her appearance. In that moment every thought in his mind melded into a mass of bewilderment and confusion. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand anything and the fear brought about by his nightmare seemed to crash down on him.""
Post Deadalive Skinner lets the news slip to Mulder; and his death and resurrection and Scully's sudden pregnancy catapult Mulder's PTSD, beginning the cycle of distancing himself.
@alldolleduppink-blog/AllDolledUpPink's Reditum
""I ran every test," she assures him. "I know it's hard to believe, but you are-"
"No," he interrupts her with a shake of his head. "No, I didn't- I wasn't implying that it's not mine. I- why did I leave?""
Post Deadalive Mulder has an immediate and severe PTSD-induced panic attack at the news of his baby; and begins to distance himself from Scully and their child-- terrified he will hurt them both.
Shoshana's
Skin Deep
""Is this real?' Mulder had asked, not certain what to say. Her affirmative response brought a grin to his ashen face, a sparkle to his tired eyes.""
Post Deadalive Mulder is happy about his baby, more worried about what Scully thinks about his scars than her miraculous pregnancy.
After Dinner
""Her unworried countenance told him all he needed to know, all he cared to know at the time.
He'd had worries later, when left alone with his thoughts....
When he was feeling particularly morose one night he imagined she wouldn't need his help at all with the child. That she was humoring him now while he was ill and would be ready to move on once he'd recovered.""
Three Words Mulder and Scully are okay after TLG leave her apartment; and he muses over his worries as they banter their way back to a reestablished relationship.
emmbright/Emma Brightman's (LiveJournal) Low Tide
"""You're really here." She walks toward him, carefully lowering her bulk into the chair and grasping his gray-skinned hand in hers. Her voice holds a note of wonder he's rarely heard before. Invisible men, visions in Buddhist temples, resurrected lovers -- Scully's a tough one to impress.""
Post Deadalive Mulder wakes from a fruitless nightmare of his sister, wanting no visitors but Scully as he plunges back into more.
dee_ayy's Burdened
""It had to be a lie, I decided once they'd left in search of help. A cruel joke.... Maybe Scully hadn't been lying, I had been in a coma, and this woman saying "dead and buried" was some sort of euphemism I wasn't familiar with. It couldn't be literally true, I decided. It just couldn't. It was the only rational explanation that would allow this threat to pass.
And I'd almost managed to convince myself by the time Scully came back.""
Post Deadalive Mulder overhears nurses talking about his resurrection; and the stress of that lie and Scully's pregnancy paralyzes him into numbness... until he sees his apartment.
Erin Blair/Erin M. Blair's Mine
""You know?"
I nodded, looking at her round belly. "I'm very observant, Scully.""
Post Deadalive Mulder tells Scully about the boy in his Amor Fati dream.
greycoupon’s (Ao3, WBM) Baring Fruit
""He was focused on Scully’s face and her hand in his, but not the rest of her. She was just another body in the room. Then one of the nurses asked her to move so they could check his blood pressure and she stood up. He saw all of her.
He saw her very pregnant stomach. For just a minute he couldn’t see or hear and worried he was back on the ship, that this was all a dream.""
Post Deadalive Mulder's eyes adjust enough to notice the obvious; and Scully lays his immediate fears to rest.
ML/ML_is_me’s (Ao3, Gossamer, DW, Invidiosa)
Do You Know?
""Come on, Scully, give me a break. Don't keep me in suspense," I rasp. You're smiling a little more broadly now.
"Well, you asked for it," you tell me, and push away from the bed to stand up awkwardly.""
Post Deadalive Mulder hates that he kept his brain disease a secret; but is so happy when Scully tells him about their baby.
Found Faith and Lost Time
""She's carrying a cardboard box in front of her, perhaps hoping to obscure her burgeoning belly for a few moments longer.
I give her a big smile as she catches my eye. "Hi, Mom," I greet her.
She looks a little crestfallen. "You KNOW? Did you know last night?" she asks me.""
Post Deadalive Skinner keeps vigil by goofily happy Mulder's bedside-- who peeked at Scully before anyone knew he was awake and is endlessly pleased with himself about it.
David Hearne's Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here
""So, Mulder," Langly interrupted. "this is...what?...your third resurrection?"
"Actually, it's my second. Technically."
"Whatever," Frohike said.""
A post Deadalive crackish experience-- TLG and Maggie and Skinner descend upon Mulder and Scully before they can thoroughly talk about their baby, having a grand time and letting him tell off Krycek on the phone.
Donna’s (Gossamer, mulderscreek) Meeting the Other Man
""His lips moved, but no sound emerged. His eyes returned to her stomach. Her hand came up and smoothed the fabric of her maternity top.
"It's not very subtle is it?""
AU-- Post Deadalive Doggett gets Scully to rest and meets Mulder in the hospital. Jealousy is soothed; and Mulder is overjoyed at the baby news.
Far Away, So Close
""The morning after his revival, Mulder woke up not long after Scully. He looked up at her as she stood and stretched by his bedside. He focused first on her face and then drifted lower. Scully could practically see his pupils dilate as they rested on her belly. He said nothing, however, and then the doctors came in, and the poking and prodding and questions began again.""
Three Words Mulder doesn't feel like a hero-- only a very distantly confused left behind. Scully finally tells him about the paternity later.
@admiralty-xfd’s (Ao3) Culmination - Chapter 12
""They stay together like that for a long time, holding each other. Eventually she gets up to check his vitals and the sight of her enormous pregnant belly hits him like a ton of bricks.
How…?
...The machines are going wild and Scully looks panicked. “Mulder?! What’s wrong?” The last thing he sees is her screaming for assistance and a team rushing in to help as the darkness takes him.""
Post Deadalive Mulder is afraid it's all a dream, that his brain disease will kill him, and that the baby isn't his.
theficisoutthere/pen-paper-aliens/PPA 's
post-"deadalive" I NEED to…
""His thoughts were interrupted by a soft twitch near his thigh. It was an odd twitch, more forceful than a shiver, but softer than a hit. Something was kicking against him.""
Mulder's reestablishing relationship is put on pause when he misconstrues Scully's pregnancy as replacement.
44. Puh-lease! ❤️ (Tumblr)
""He didn’t even question her fidelity. As soon as he noticed her bump in the hospital room he softly smiled and said, “So, we’re going to have a baby.” and squeezed her hand when she nodded. He turned his gaze back to the TV above them and the subject was never brought up again.""
Three Words Mulder hasn't mentioned the baby since the hospital until, finally, he and Scully open up about their fears and pain, crying it out together.
Marguerite’s (Ao3) Always Through the Changing
""Mulder's eyes were huge, with an odd shimmer, but he said nothing as he took the offered sip of water. He kept the cool liquid in his mouth for a moment as if savoring a fine wine. When he swallowed, it was the only sound in the room....
"Whoa, Scully. You been eating all my jello?""
Post Deadalive Mulder struggles with jealousy and anger-guilt-depression about Scully's baby as well as Skinner and Doggett's capable and active presence in his absence.
Lapsed_Scholar’s That Day Is Done
""Most people have nine months to come to terms with their impending parenthood, but he already has something of an unusual situation, and he really wishes he had not started the clock missing and dead. How is he supposed to prepare for this? How is he supposed to support her, or care for an entirely new, helpless person when he’s lost the ability to function as himself?""
Mulder, Scully, and Skinner navigate the rough waters of This Is Not Happening, Deadalive, and Three Words.
Diana Alexander’s Distant and Strange
""If he had been told eight years ago that he would be as protective and possessive as he was of her now, he would have thought the idea insane and preposterous besides. Somehow over the years, it had slowly started happening, so that now he couldn't imagine being any other way in regards to her.
At about that time, he was startled out of his own thoughts by a gentle knock on the door before it was pushed open by an extremely pregnant Dana Scully.""
Post Three Words Mulder has false memories of Scully and their baby, struggling to know what was and wasn't real.
@greekowl87’s (Ao3) Fic: Right Where You Belong (Ao3)
""Ever since he woke up in the hospital from his abduction, Mulder stared at the world through a looking glass. He recognized people, places, things, but inevitably, it wasn’t the same thing that he had left months before. So Scully was patient. She visited him every day, brought him new clothes, sneaked in his favorite food so he didn’t have to eat the bland hospital food, and anything to get him to respond to her. Mulder would just smile politely, maybe glance briefly her pregnant abdomen and turn away before she could get a word in.""
Three Words Scully grounds Mulder in reality.
@ghostbustermelanieking/skuls's
ashes and dust
""It takes effort, but he does move, sliding to the other side. The corners of Scully's mouth lifts, just a little, and she stands to climb in behind him. And that's when he sees it: the curve of her belly under her sweater.
Anything he wanted to say catches in his throat, freezes there. She is pregnant.""
Post Deadalive Mulder wakes, shocked at Scully's baby. Life moves too quickly for him to process, let alone sink back into. Fortunately, he and Scully are able to iron out the kinks later.
Unnamed (Alt. Tumblr)
""She tries to tell him early the morning after their reunion, but she can tell he’s already noticed. He’s quieter, won’t meet her eyes. “Mulder, I got my miracle,” she tries, immediately regretting the singular pronoun. She slips her fingers through his, and lifts his heavy hand to press against her abdomen.
“I’m happy for you,” he says, almost devoid of any emotion, and that’s when she feels like she’s lost him again.""
AU-- Scully moved into Mulder's apartment after his death; and can't figure out a way to tell him after he's resurrected.
And Extra Fics I Thought Belonged Here
@settle-down-frohike's (Ao3) Sensory Integration (Tumblr)
""He’s grateful for her restraint, because he can’t handle sudden movements right now. If she were to approach too fast in his direction, he’d end up curled in the fetal position somewhere in a corner, protecting his vital organs. He doesn’t know how he knows this, he just does. He’s like one giant Pavlovian experiment.
Stimulus.
Response.
Repeat.""
Mulder's PTSD starts to ramp up throughout Three Words; but Scully is, as always, there to be his constant in an upside down world.
soverysesual's Kleptomania - Chapter 1
""Uh, Scully, where are all my clothes?”
She could feel her cheeks burn as she realized that she had never brought them back from her apartment.""
Three Words Mulder and Scully have to retrieve some of his things from her apartment; and he is touched she found and utilized his former IVF baby stash.
Michelle Kiefer's Second Wind
""I wonder if Lazarus found reanimation a chilling experience. Did he shiver and pull his burial shroud closer around him? Was he chilled to the core despite Judah's hot sun? Unfortunately, I have no one with whom to compare notes, as old Lazarus is no longer among the living.
Besides, Lazarus was in the tomb, for what-four days? I could do four days standing on my head. Try three months, buddy, and we'll talk.""
Mulder feels the coldness of death always lingering; but finally finds a personalized heater (and pillar of strength) in Scully.
@amplifyme/wonderland/Lydia Bower's Light Don't Sleep
""Ah, Scully," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "We got our
miracle, didn't we?"
Her breath caught and she faltered as the tears fell. "Yes... yes, we
did."
Mulder and Scully slot themselves back together as he sorts through what are and aren't his true memories, one loving interaction at a time. And, of course, every good day must end with a bedtime story.
Thank you for reading~
Enjoy!
#Collector's Edition#S8 Mulder Resurrects to a Miracle#txf#Mulder#S8#xfiles#x-files#the x files#xf fanfic#amplifyme#wonderland#Michelle Kiefer#settle-down-frohike#ScullyLikesScience#Agent L#agentwhalesong#sadandangstyagent#scullys-right-eyebrow-txf#ScullysRightEyebrow#msrafterdark#XScribe#Red#David Hearne#emmbright#Emma Brightman#AllDolledUpPink#dee_ayy#theficisoutthere#pen-paper-aliens#soverysesual
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Hi-Fi RUSH theory rambling time
I was writing this for a wiki but why the hell not post it here too -
Chai's music player deliberately chooses songs that fit his emotions at the time. The game already implies that the music player's grafting to Chai affects more than his physical abilities and reacts to stress (like when The Rush starts playing when he's hit by the SBR-001), so it's entirely possible that this includes picking the song that would be the most personal.
With the streamer mode songs, that might even include the lyrics; even before the surgery, Chai is listening to "The Beacon" which is about being rescued from a dark, lonely place (possibly his own life prospects and hope about Project Armstrong), so it could be emulating the same habits. Notably, that song in specific could be suggesting he had depression or some sort of breakdown before the events of the game, but since Chai never shares about his life before this, no way of knowing.
(spoilers under the cut, to go into the songs individually:)
"I Got This", which only starts playing after he's started his escape, is about Chai's euphoria in getting freedom and attention, and having no intention of letting his new arm be taken away from him.
"Too Big To Fail" is similar, focusing on Chai's determination to fight anything that wants to take away his newfound freedom.
"Captive Normals" adds an extra layer to the ableist angle that being called a "defect" seems to have on him, as it insists on not submitting to anyone just to be "normal", even if that means acting well out of line. The lyrics have a LOT of ableist imagery mentioned (asylums, being shoved out of conversations, being “bed bound” and forgotten) further supporting that Chai has a lot of restrained anger about it.
"Buzzsaw" is Chai's first genuine act of teamwork instead of being mostly self serving, and the lyrics reflect a need to make it count despite the odds.
“This’ll Be Rough” speaks for itself; climbing Wing 2 is a pain and a break would be nice, but Chai is gonna do it anyway; fits his character well.
"My Heart Feels No Pain" seems to specifically relate to Mimosa's contribution to Chai joining the project. The female vocals insist it can't be a lie if he took the risks knowingly, while the male vocals have a realization that it was a mistake but it's not too late; culminating in the duet talking about Chai being truly free from her propaganda as the last bit of truth about Vandelay was fully revealed in the previous Track - not even Project Armstrong was Kale's idea in the first place, and his "coolness" was all manufactured through altering the truth about his family.
"Surfacing" is a reply to "The Beacon", having realized that a miracle wouldn't turn his life around, and instead Chai had to make the best out of his situation through effort.
"In a Blink" starts out mild as the music player is malfunctioning, describing a moment of hesitation leading to being manipulated (much like SPECTRA, but with the song playing at all, it’s clear Chai still had a little resistance left in him); but once 808 breaks him out of it, the song kicks in at full force, repeatedly telling himself to "snap out" as there is too much at stake, and face Kale head on.
EDIT: I saw a different interpretation of In a Blink’s lyrics that doesn’t match up at with the previous, so putting this alt here: assuming the themes use the vampirism allegory, it actually changes the context to something far more gay I mean vengeful. Kale put Chai in a world of lies set up to be a tool; but now that Chai is part of it, “it's my turn to feed”, as in, he’ll make full use of it to turn the tables instead of becoming the puppet. No seriously the vampirism angle only makes this more gay
In constrast, "Negotiation" and "Reflection" have no lyrics whatsoever or a licenced counterpart, as Chai is focusing on the task at hand fully.
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BL and it’s Shoujo grandma
In the last few years a lot of people have entered the fandom from different pathways and don’t know its history and origins. This post is an effort to clarify some of the whys and the hows of how the genre and industry came to be in the way they have. In this post I want to talk about BL and its connection to Shoujo manga through their tropes.
We all know to some degree (and if you don’t you will now) that BL came from the more traditional romance manga genre: Shoujo.
Today, BL is its own independent genre, so many people might not know that a lot of what is characteristic of BL, is an evolution or a trace from its Shoujo grandmother. After all, romance is romance, and our hearts flutter very easily with the same tropes over and over again.
We must also take into consideration that everything in this life influences each other so the limits between genres will never be cristal clear. There is no clear line between Shoujo and BL... but the ambiguity is part of the charm.
Please be remiended that this is my own thoughts on the matter. It’s a hypothesis I have come up with based on my readings but do not take it as gospel. Anyone and everyone is welcome to add to this post and correct any errors, or comment their own takes on the topic.
Edit: this got so long I’m gonna put it under the cut
Shoujo, as the Romance Manga Genre by definiton, comes from Japan. Even though it is not the only source of romance content, I believe that it has had one of the biggest influences over the mainstream asian romance media. Which, I believe, has a lot to do with the recent history of the region.
First, a little bit of history and context (and some speculation)
The after effects of WW2
Well, Japan’s imperialism and war against the west makes it occupy a big part of the countries of southeast asia and “during this period, GDP in most Southeast Asian countries fell by half; 4.4 million civilians died prematurely; severe shortages of food and goods affected almost all Southeast Asians; and many lived in fear of draconian military rule” ( World War II and Southeast Asia Economy and Society under Japanese Occupation, by Gregg Huff) yes this post has citations people
Overall, Southeast Asia faces economic difficulties, social and ethnic unrest, and political struggles through much of the mid-twentieth century. By the 1980s, conditions have improved, but the “Asian financial crisis” in the late 1990s is a serious setback for the region (source)
All of this to say, that it makes sense that, in such a landscape, it was Japan who, after the American Occupation was the one country with the means to produce and eventually export entertainment. The US wanted to successfuly avoid any resurgance of imperialism and a base in the east on their side for the cold war, and other subsequent wars. This special attention helped the stability and economy of Japan in the long term (compared to all the other countries that had been under its rule).
Manga and Shoujo
More or less at the same time manga as we know it today started (with Osamu Tezuka, aka the god of manga) around the 50′s.
First made by men then by women around the 60′s, Shoujo was the genre “for girls” in opposition to Shounen, that was “for boys” (these labels just inform of the content and tropes of the stories you read, there are many other genres but I’m trying to make this short). Women authors took control of the stories that were being told to women audiencies, taking into account what interested them at the time: gender roles, sexuality and romance, among others.
To me, the most interesting time period for Shoujo after the initial 60′s/70′s (ie, The Rose of Versailles) is the 90′s/early 2000′s (ie, Sailor Moon, Magic Knight Rayearth, Ouran High School Host Club, etc... My favorite shoujo manga come from this time, really really recommend reading some). Which coincidentally happens around the same time as manga’s worldwide boom and expansion.
How has Shoujo influenced asian media?
The 80′s/90′s was when manga arrived to the US, and subsequently to the rest of the world. Depending on the country manga became popular at different times, however by the end of the 90′s it was a success worlwide.
references
Why I think shoujo manga has had one ot the biggest influences over romance media in Asia
Shoujo manga has been adapted into live action so, so much. Many memorable doramas were mangas first. Boys Over Flowers being the most prominent example of this (we will come back to it later).
Imo, Shoujo was able to explore a certain amount of themes that interested women at the time, and through manga’s popularity and expansion, those themes came with tropes and ended up becoming the backbone of the genre, influencing other romance media in general. But it has also been influenced by the mainstream trends of tv and interests of the public as it evolves according to the demand. The name does comes from its target demographic.
Some of the most typical themes we find in shoujo are:
Interpersonal relationships between characters concentrating on the interaction of their emotions and a lot of inner monologue, aka romance
Gender
Sexuality,
Fashion,
etc...
One of the interesting things here -- going back to the historical context I gave before -- is that Japan’s Constitution (1947), that was made which the US’s supervison, enabled a bigger equality between men and women. Which might be one of the reasons why “characters that defy traditional roles and stereotypes surrounding gender and sexuality have been a central motif of shōjo manga since its origins.”
General Romantic tropes we find in Shoujo
Romance being one of the main themes of Shoujo, it is inevitable that a lot of what we consider romantic will also be a Shoujo trope. Many of these are just inherent to any romantic theme. What influenced Shoujo or was influenced by Shoujo? It is hard to tell. Nevertheless, I will do my best to do some sort of categorization.
General romantic behaviour tropes: kabedon, accidental kiss, feed me, sucking on wound, temperature check, indirect kiss, lap pillow, shirt tug, hair kiss/touch, monster-in-law ...
Other tropes include, not limited to romance but pretty common: we got together kiss/sex, drunken acts, I can’t control myself/I’m a man too, overnight trip, miscomunication, physically hurt/sick moment where they get taken care of, ...
Here are some of the most typical shoujo tropes:
How many times have we seen a scene under the rain, where the use of an umbrella was made very romantic? Or an icy, emotionally closed off man being melted down by a warm woman’s love?
Others shoujo specific tropes: sponge bath, drying hair with a towel, snuff cheek kiss, indirect kiss, unconscious kiss, kiss them to make them take their medicine, bitchy girl rival (because mysoginy), violent defense of loved one, he belongs to everyone (mysoginy and girl rivalry again), accidental meet cute (library/street corner), gender bender, woman dressed up/mistaken as a man, ...
How many shows came to your head (queer or not) while you were reading that list of tropes? A lot of them you know or have seen many times in kdramas, jdramas, cdramas, thai dramas, etc... Probably some of them you didn’t know were a common trope.
Shoujo tropes refs 1
To exemplify the influence of Shoujo Manga on the Romance Media...
Let’s talk Boys Over Flower/ Hana Yori Dango/ Meteor Garden/ F4
Boys Over Flowers (or Hana Dan) is the best example to see the influence of Shoujo tropes in Asian romance, since it has been adapted many times, and is still being milked to this day.
Contrary to popular belief the taiwanese Meteor Garden did not come first, the manga did. Followed by: the japanese live action movie (1995) >> the anime (1996) >> taiwanese series (s1&2, 2001-2002) >> japanese series (s1&2 + movie, 2005) >> korean drama (2009) >> chinese Meteor Garden (2018) >> japanese spin off Hana Nochi Hare (2018) >> F4 (2021).
We find all the tropes in BOF:
love triangle, popular x unpopular, umbrella under the rain, cold ml x warm wl, rich x poor, trapped in an elevator, sick boy, accidental kiss, unfortunate accident that brings you closer, monster-in-law, I leave you because I love you, he belongs to everyone... and many others.
The overwhelming success of BOF, and it’s many reboots and adaptations made the shoujo tropes a staple of the romance genre (at least in Asia).
How does BL appear in all this?
Shoujo and gender and sexuality
BL (or Yaoi or Shounen-ai) started as one of the subgenres of Shoujo (others being Josei (more mature), Horror, Teen’s Love(erotica), Moe, etc). It was a variation on the hetero notion of romantic love, hence the clear paralelism with the gender binary. It slowly started integrating actual queer dynamics later on. The genre in itself has evolved a lot as it has broken free from the Shoujo mantle. It was very very different in the 70's (when it started) to the 2000's (when the hetero style of relationships and dynamics was at its most popular in QLs) to now.
The particular thing about Shoujo is that, besides creating a subgenre about exploring homsexuality, they explored gender and gender roles a lot. Women disguising themselves as men, or characters that did not identify with their assigned gender were and are still very common. Starting with Princess Knight to The Rose of Versailles to Ouran High School Host Club. We see this trope a lot in live action dramas like: Hana Kimi, Coffe Prince, Bromance, Secret Garden, You’re Beautiful, etc..., And all the historical k-dramas with women disguised as men (Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Scholar Who Walks the Night, Love in the Moonlight, The King’s Affection). Besides it being a theme that clearly interests female audiences, other possible influences on the growing of media exploring this theme might be: the Takarazuka Revue, the newfound equality of sexes thanks to the japanese constitution, and trying to break free of gender roles and societal expectations through media.
I kinda see it as an accident that shoujo manga authors ended up making queer content. They were questioning social expectations but I don't think they even knew that there were queer people out there to be appealed by it.
As a quick recap of BL themes through its history, we went from:
the tragic and traumatized european pretty boys (Kaze to Ki no Uta) of the 70′s to
the gay for you, hetero like uke/seme, with problematic content for the sake of drama but with happier endings (Junjou Romantica) of the 2000′s to
the more realistic, featuring characters from the LGBT community variety of content we have now (Given)
BL also eventually gave birth to Bara/Gei Comi (gay comics, by gay men for gay men. Check Gengoroh Tagame’s works to know what I mean), and in some way GL (or Yuri).
BL tropes
Do we find the general romantic tropes in BL? Yes, we do. However there are some that are inherent to BL. Also, as Thailand finds itself at the head of the current BL boom, we also find these tropes to be influenced by thai culture.
Bishonen boys (beautiful androginous men), uke/seme, rape, gay for you, age gap, psycho boys, ...
I leave here ABL’s posts on the BL characteristics by country, other bl tropes, and Thai BL and tropes. Honestly, they’re the expert on all tropes BL.
As I have consumed all types of romance media, I can hardly tell what tropes are inhenrent to what genre. However, tropes that are inherent to BL would be:
Many of these are related to sex, which is one of the main themes of BL. There is a lot to be said about sex in BL, particularly in its relationship to violence. There is also a lot of BL that features intentionally toxic relationships and unhealty dynamics. Which is the darked side of the genre, to be explored in another occasion.
Coming back to our main theme, here is an example of the connection and evolution of a shoujo trope into a BL tropes.
BL tropes evolved from Shoujo: Rooftop confession
Rooftops belong to the gays now and it should be known. It is a very well known trope used all over genres, but it is has become an very significative one in BLs.
image sources 1 2
Final Toughts
While preparing for this post I decided to research a little about SE Asia’s recent history, as I have been made aware recently that not only thailand is rising in it’s entertaiment production, but Cambodia is rising in the music sphere. All these industries that are sprouting from Southeast Asia, made me wonder why. And my elation when I realized there was a reason why! It all started to get into place in my head.
I have wanted to make this post for a while. In a lot of the conversations we’ve been having in the fandom around shows recently made me realize that a lot of the new fans get into BL without having encountered Asian dramas before or just partially. Lots of the analysis made and the questions posed around BL shows have a partial answer in the context of how the genre came to be and how its intertwined with every other piece of Asian media.
The purpose of this post is to give more detail into how BL is influenced by a lot of the general romance genre, which a lot of the fandom might not know in depth. I hope this clearifies some things for those who search to understand why this or that trope or action happen in a show where it might not make sense, or it might be out of place, or just strange.
As Thailand media is growing, we see how they use what is popular in their favor, while adding a bit of their own personal culture to it. It’s interesting how we can see the kdrama or manga influences. And talking about it and questioning them makes me excited for more.
This will be a series of posts. I have decided to make a post about the general history of BL. Which will be accompanied by another, smaller post where I want to talk about the Yaoi Debates (Yaoi Ronso) and the use of trauma and rape in BLs, as it has been a topic of conversation recently.
A big thank you to @waitmyturtles for her Old GMMTV Challenge, which has promted a lot of conversation about BL and has also made me want to participate in them. I hope this can be complementary to your watches and helps you understand the genre and how it came to be.
#bl tropes#shoujo tropes#bl and it's shoujo grandma#for the fam#and the besties#it got super long but if you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed it#look forward to the other posts I'm gonna make#bl history
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Lav's All-smiles Problem-solving Roooooundtable ch108 edition!
Welcome, welcome! To Lav's BSD ch108 discussion! Delivered to you via my funky dove Eliott, acting as my mystic messenger. These are random thoughts I had after reading this brilliant chapter, which, writing-wise, made the best possible use of Fedya's character, expanding it even more without even betraying his backstory. Maybe a backstory isn't needed after all, just look at how much FUN he is right now. I am in BLISS
Putting aside the fact that he is literally carrying the plot at this point, come sit with me, I make you a delicious Chinese black tea with rose petals and casually share my thoughts. Hello there, dearest Kat, yes, "where is Lav when you need her?", I am here, I offer you a hug, and to all my friends here who share the sentiment, I hug you too.
A. Before you say ANYTHING about "oh but? maybe Fedya is telling the half-truth? or a half-lie? what if his ability really is the evil one?", my brothers and sisters in Christ, listen to yourself. This man functions almost on a meta-level of character consciousness: he changed his facial expression and aura so convincingly, his tone, his speech, his posture, even the shade of his eyes, fooling not only Sigma, but the readers as well. We are used to characters changing the shade of their eyes when they change mental states or have certain (new) decisions in mind, we as a community are so used to this, all it took was one panel from the Conjurer doing this trick for so many of us to actually believe him and start, yet again, to spiral down the "what if he is good but his ability is evil? what if he is two entities? what if?" rollercoaster. This is so amusing to me, and in a meta-sense must be amusing to Fedya too. While speculation can bloom again based on this, I wouldn't be putting too much effort into reading into his lines here. I take it as a trick. It worked splendidly, almost like it attacked the fandom's major concerns and theories about his character and weaponized them against everyone. That's a meta-kind of tomfoolery. Trolling, if you will. I LOVE that Asagiri made him bamboozle every reader like this. His character so far goes into the best direction, it cultivates and expands his traits and skills in the best way. But let's pretend Fedya really is telling a half-truth there, which is there being an opposition between him and his ability. I talked about this in my essay (see pinned post), there really seems to be a divergence at the core of his character, but it manifests subtly, not like what we saw in ch108. Then again, not even on that can we arrive at any conclusive statements, because if we remember that, of course, "crime and punishment are close friends", it could well be that he and his ability are partners, and you bet I imagine they would BOTH indulge in peak tomfoolery like this together, if that meant one of them switching in and the other out for a sec. Remember, dear souls: aside from his "higher mission", abstract as it still is lore-wise, Fedya's keyword is "fun" or "entertainment", repeatedly. And oh he himself is even more fun now~
B. if Fedya would have wanted to mortally wound Sigma, he'd have chosen a more suitable place to stab him; it looks like a abdominal, lower quadrant, lateral stab, a deliberate choice, I would say, that technically avoids critical, most vascular organs (kidney and spleen for example) and main veins/arteries. I am no doctor, but from what I gathered, Sigma won't bleed out fast at all, and if untreated might get a deadly infection in a longer time (not counting the possibility of septic shock if we assume the knife penetrated and heavily opened an intestine). Sigma needs a medic asap (our queen Yosano when?), but will likely be conscious and quite able to move around and whatnot. Like I argued in my essay, Fedya most likely does not want to kill Sigma, or anybody for that matter, because keeping everyone alive to fulfill various roles and see how their will tosses them in all kinds of directions is more fun for him, more entertaining, but also more useful. He is a long-term strategist, like Dazai. "Our beloved monsters" ❤
C. Fedya evidently exerts some serious mental torment on Sigma, by making him stand by his choices, his will, just like he always desired. The flip side is that Fedya takes his time, or should I say gifts Sigma his time, in which he teaches him the full lesson of what Sigma wants. The responsibility that comes with acting on your own, the terror of facing the consequences when choosing on your own: right now, to Sigma, this freedom is terror. But Fedya is never a one-dimensional character. It's most probable he calculated and devised strategies for both possibilities (a. Sigma with rekindled determination touches him; b. Sigma backpedals on what he decided and does not touch him). The irony is that both scenarios are an affirmation of Sigma's will, because, while the first decision can be seen like foolish bravery, the second one can also be seen as wise self-preservation, if the circumstances so demand it. BSD is not a black-and-white series, diving head-first into danger is not its definition of bravery or heroism. BSD was always about measured decisions, ones the characters take upon themselves willingly. It may be time Sigma does that too, in his own way, and Fedya wants to see that. Why? Well, my guess is because it's fascinating to watch humans grow, and Fedya lives for the entertainment that comes with it. It is actually more interesting if we remember his line from ch42 (“People can be so simple… They truly believe they are thinking for themselves. (…) They don’t want to think they’re being led by the nose”): the pattern is, Fedya puts others under harsh circumstances, and then, under pressure, lets go of them, waiting for their free decision, the true test and expression of their hearts, so to say (which could make a superb discussion if we make a parallel between Kunikida and Sigma, since essentially what happened to Kunikida is happening now to Sigma, except Kunikida did indeed break down, but thanks to healthy support from his comrades he slowly regained his sense of self, and stronger than ever at that time, however… Sigma is alone, isn't he? but what if he needs to be in order to finally get a hold of his own self?). Anyway, how much of that expression is free, or how much is guided or manipulated, is a debate in itself, since it implies relating the freedom to the individual vs relating the freedom to the external factors and possibilites.
D. I do need to underline, just like Fedya also underlined it: Sigma already made his decision, right there when he still tried to get the gun before getting kicked in the face. Fedya moved on to the next step: testing how strong Sigma's will is when an actual chance to act appears. Sigma already accepted the physical pain, but how will he face the mental anguish? That is more Fedya's territory, a "specialist" of breaking people by simply knowing them thoroughly and choosing the right words. But now we gained new info: even in close combat, apparently, Fedya is not to be underestimated. That was a rather strong kick, anyway. But more importantly, he completely turned the tables in a situation where he would be in a total disadvantage. * chef's kiss * that was very bungou stray dogs of him.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd manga spoilers#bsd fyodor#bsd sigma#stopped working on my PhD to indulge in ritualic chants and expressions of love and devotion towards BSD's greatest character#the man himself#it's always Fedya#my love knows no death#yes I even typed these tags out for Eliott#I hope she has been a good circus ghost#but even is she was a bad or absent circus ghost I forgive her#she is the best and you agree#unless you think I am the best and in that case you're right lol#this was your daily dose of sensible ENTPs faking a massive ego#if you have questions please reply here or send an ask but dont stress the funky dove mystic messenger#we are both vanishing ENTPs like the Queens song Now Im Here Now Im There#i will still not be on my blog till a long time I have a PhD to write#no an ACTUAL PhD not my marriage proposal PhD that is already posted#but that one I will update too after more chapters pile up - maybe in November
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Auld Lang Syne: A Forbidden Passion One-Shot
Series: Forbidden Passion
Fandom: The Royal Romance
Pairings: Drake x Riley
Rating: G
Warning: Angsty AF.
Word count: 814
A/N: This one-shot takes place prior to the events in the series. This would be Riley's first New Year's in Cordonia. Special shout out to @nestledonthaveone for sending me the image that prompted this. (The image is in my NYE Drake x Riley Edition post).
Everything else: Master List.
It was almost midnight. In his arms, he held the only thing that had ever mattered to him. He had waited all night for his turn to dance with her. It seemed everyone wanted her attention. She had smiled, twirled, and been polite with foreign dignitaries and Cordonian noblemen alike, but her eyes lit with genuine warmth whenever they landed on him.
He understood all too well the obligations that had kept her busy all night, so he had waited patiently for his turn.
“Are you completely bored yet?” She laughed as he led her onto the dance floor and wrapped her in his arms.
“No,” he breathed out, captivated by the way she glowed from within, happiness evident on her face. Her beauty wasn’t just skin deep. Not to him, anyway.
“I know this isn’t really your scene.” She glanced around the ballroom, draped in New Year’s opulence. Gold glittered everywhere. The rich and privileged sipped champagne and laughed about their plans for extravagant winter getaways after the new year.
“Anywhere you’re at is my scene.” He let slip out before he thought better of it.
“Drake…”
Something in her tone sent butterflies exploding through his chest and heat plunging to his very core. He had heard that tone before. In a pool hall in Paris right before he’d given in to everything he shouldn’t have.
She was looking at him the same way now. Head tipped back, pink coloring her cheeks, eyes probing his as if she could see into his very soul.
“Riley…” his arms tightened around her waist, tugging her closer and holding her flush against him. He leaned toward her, their faces inches apart. With herculean effort, he stopped himself from closing those few inches and claiming her lips.
It would be treason.
Liam’s voice cut through the whiskey and lust induced fog that clouded his brain. “Riley, love, there you are!”
In the blink of an eye, her face cleared of any restrained passion she might have been feeling and lit up with unadulterated happiness as she shifted her attention to her new husband.
Had he just imagined it?
She hadn’t meant it. It was the champagne talking. Right?
“Thank you for keeping her company.” Liam slapped Drake on the shoulder, a little harder than necessary. A little firmer than his usual friendly touches. “But it’s almost midnight and I want to kiss my wife when the ball drops.”
There was a subtle emphasis on the words my wife, a slightly hostile edge in his voice that most people would have missed.
Drake dropped his hands away from her body and stepped back quickly as guilt flashed across his features. “Of course.”
Riley and Liam had been married a bare three weeks earlier. They were preparing to leave on their honeymoon in less than a week.
Whatever slim chance he’d had with her had evaporated when he had chosen to ignore her, and their night together, after Paris.
It was for the best. He watched Liam pull her tenderly to him. He watched Riley stare up at her husband with absolute love and adoration in her gaze.
Drake turned and trudged off the dance floor and toward the bar as the room started to count down to the new year.
“Whiskey, neat and keep them coming.”
He fought the urge to turn back to the room and find them. Fought and lost. He watched as confetti and streamers burst from the ceiling and the crowd roared. He watched as Liam kissed her the way he had wanted to.
Fuck this.
He spun back to the bar and downed the drink in front of him. “You know what? Just give me the whole bottle.”
He took the bottle and headed for the exit, pausing at the doorway to torture himself with one last look.
She was on the dance floor with her husband. Liam had her cocooned in his embrace as they swayed with the music. Her head rested on Liam’s shoulder, but her eyes were locked on him.
The bottom fell out of his stomach. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized it was possible for his heart to soar and plummet at the same time.
For one moment, time froze as they stared across the room at each other. Neither one smiled. Neither one looked away. For the millionth time, he asked himself why she had this power over him; why his heart beat for her and her alone? What cruel twist of fate put his heart at the feet of the woman married to his best friend? The one man he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, betray.
Then Liam spun her around, so her eyes were no longer on him.
Drake turned on his heel and forced himself to walk away. He whispered under his breath as he made his way back to his room, “Happy New Year, Campbell.”
#forbidden passion#trr#trr au#the royal romance#drake walker#the royal romance fanfic#angelasscribbles#choices#choices fic writers creations#cfwc fics of the week#choices stories you play#drake x mc
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Twiyor Month Prompt #XI:
Royal AU
My fic contribution @twiyorbase
👑 More Than Meets the Eye 👑
"Your Highness. I was ordered by Prince Yuri to give this fresh harvest... of apples."
Upon seeing the sleeping princess, Lionel placed the basket of apples on the table.
"Your Highness? Princess Yor?"
She really is asleep. The embroidery that she had been working on was almost half-way done, resting on her lap and about to fall from her hands. Threads of different colors were on her feet.
Lionel approached her.
"This is dangerous, Your Highness. You should not be holding on to these while you're sleeping. You might get hurt by the needle." He said, despite not expecting any response.
He took the embroidery and threads. Ever so lightly, his finger grazed the princess' hand. Lionel flinched away in surprise. It was enough to cause him a slight fluttering. He gazed at the princess.
Her divine features will never be justified by any portrait.
"Hnn..."
The princess stirred a little, causing her head to slide sidewards. With a quick move of his hand, Lionel caught the princess' head, preventing it from hitting the chair's carvings. He then carefully placed the princess' head on the backrest.
Suddenly a gust blew.
"Ah! The embroidery!"
Lionel picked up the fallen item and placed it once again on the table. When he turned once again, he let out a soft laugh. The princess' hair was disheveled by the wind. He bent over and moved away the strands of hair from her face.
As he has always thought, her rosy cheeks and lips are incomparable to apples. Not even the freshly picked ones that he just brought could come close.
Before he knew it, the back of his fingertips are on the princess' cheek, lightly touching.
It was warm.
How much Lionel wanted to remain this way. But it was wrong. He doesn't have the right to yearn for her. Not yet. Especially when he hasn't even uttered a single word regarding his feelings.
He loves her beyond her divine features. He loves her for she is strong-willed and kind, bearing herself with dignity and grace. Princess Yor Briar deserves a man of equal character, who will never taint her honor. Lionel might not be that person.
And if Lionel were to confess now, it will mean trampling over not only the princess' commitment but also his own perseverance.
For now, the princess only sees him as a mere guardsman. A person of low standing. Still, he wanted to know if he can win her over in spite of it.
Lionel knows that by confessing his ardent affection, he will also have to confess the bigger truth behind it.
How much longer can he suppress his feelings?
▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•
It's short but that's it. Actually, this is meant to be a series and I'm still in the process of writing it though I'm sad to say that I am yet to finish ch1 🙃😅. But I already have a concrete plot in mind. I'm just really struggling with writing the chapters. STILL, I CAN'T GUARANTEE ANYTHING.
My plan is to finish the full series first before posting it as a whole. All at once. Because I'm not fond of re-editing fics when I'm done with it (typos are fine but plot and dialogue fixing bums me). I want to finish it first even if it means it will take another year because I want to be satisfied with what I wrote before sharing it with you.
Since I'm going to do it to be enjoyed by others, I might as well ensure that the effort is worth the attention it gets. That's my pride as a fan content creator lol
#spy x family#sxf fanfic#loiyor#twiyor#twiyor month#twiyoctober#royal au#yor#twilight#lionel#thorn princess#more than meets the eye#twiyor drabble#sxf drabble
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A post for publicly sharing the products of my Drawfee Lalafell idol project!
(if u don't know what the fuck I'm saying just scroll on)
NOTE: I am not affliated with Drawfee I just stole their logo for that edit. I'm not making money Julia pls don't sue me
FAQ
Q: Why do this?
A: Fatal case of brainworms
Q: How long did you spend on making these?
A: Too long. Enough questions
Jokes aside, here's a proper intro to what this is for people who aren't in that one very specific discord:
As a creative project of sorts, I decided to make 4 Lalafells in FFXIV based on the Drawfee crew (youtubers). SPECIFICALLY these are based on their Newsday Comic Designs, because there's only so much staring at real people's faces really zoomed in I can do before I start feeling like a creep.
So, No, these are not "lifelike" or even "as close to life like as i can make potato people in a 10 year old video game". They're based on stylized ideas of people, warped by my creative liberty. That left me more space to make them cute instead of uncanny valley, which I'm sure any drawfee members that see this post might appreciate too.
They're also all heavily modded. It's more fun for dressup.
With that said! Onwards to the pictures (and design notes)!
Nathan:
I actually "made" the beard for this myself - or, rather, I refitted it from a modded beard for Roegadyn. I even made an effort to mold it into a rough flower shape, but I'm afraid it doesn't show up that well. Still, remembering that there is no full beard for Lalafell in the vanilla game, I think it actually looks quite cute!
For this "casual" fit I made an effort not to make Nathan look too fashion-y. Of course, they're idol photoshoot style pics, so I still had to dress him up a bit! With this sporty fit with the fun big red boots reminiscent of early video game character designs, I think I landed in a pretty nice middle ground.
Julia:
This is the only design I paid real life money to make. I spent forever futzing with free hair mods trying to find one I liked, but in the end I forked over a few bucks to an experienced hair modder's online shop and got this hair that comes with all the features I wanted. Can't say I regret the purchase, it's very pretty.
For the outfit, I knew what I wanted pretty much immediately. I have had this outfit mod for a long time, but I've never really known what to use it for. It feels very Julia, even if I can't remember necessarily seeing her wear this kind of thing before. Maybe it just feels French, and I associate Julia with France?
Karina:
Karina's face sculpt mod was very easy to decide. Looking at the list of the free female Lala faces, I saw one that looked like a little shit - and named "Give Me the Phone" - and immediately knew it was perfect. I had to edit this hair to become hat compatible for later outfits, but overall this one was full of easy picks.
Maybe I'm projecting too hard, though? I even dressed her in a top I modded for myself, after all.
Jacob:
Jacob's design is one I agonized over, because finding a hair for him was quite hard. Short hair mods are rarer than long ones, and Newsday Jacob's hair is very distinctive. In the end I had to settle for a more realistic style, but I'm told it still reads as him.
I wound up putting Jacob in maybe the cutesy-est outfit of the four. I don't think he'd mind, but either way the funny little overalls were too big a temptation for me to resist. Accessorising with bandages is where my weeb roots really shine through, though.
Portraits done, here's the additional materials I've made!
Drawfee Kindergarten Field trip! Fun fact, I took this screenshot mere seconds before the dungeon I used as a set kicked me out, which means I spent the entire instance timer just deciding on accessories and posing! Where are they going? To see the big squid at the Aetherfont's center, of course!
youtube
The first music video! Motions not by me, I'm not that talented, these are retargeted Project Sekai dances (retargeting also not by me lmao animation modding scares me)
youtube
Childish war is such a fun song and dance, never mind the fact that none of the "personalities" really work for drawfee. It's dancing lalas! Who cares!
That's it! I might do more music videos or photo shoots in the future, but that's highly dependent on my brain chemistry, so truly nothing is certain. If you made it this far, I hope my silly little project brought you some joy! (and olive) And hey!
Check this out!
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Home
This is very dumb but I went through the effort of minimally editing this thing so might as well post it.
Presenting a silly oneshot where TBTK Bruno gets to reunite with his sisters. Only there's one small problem. They're not his sisters, and their version of him has been missing for nine years. He might as well do something about that while he's there.
This didn't make any sense. First everyone in this town seemed to automatically be wary of him. Then he heard them muttering his real name under his breath and now—
Now he was in the middle of a hug with Julieta and Pepa and it didn't make any sense. They were sobbing demanding where he'd been, demanding to know why he left
Was he hallucinating? He wasn't dead, he knew that. He had to be hallucinating. Right?
“Bruno!”
At last he finally choked out the first thing that came to mind, ignoring their own questions. “How are you here? You were both — I don't understand — how is this possible?”
“What Bruno? Of course we're here, where else would we be besides the Encanto? Where have you been, it's been nine years! We thought you—”
He pulled back abruptly. “What? No, this isn't the Encanto. Have you lost your mind? This is nothing like home! Or at least… I don't think it is. I can't really remember that much about what it looked like, it's been too long but it was definitely bigger than this valley. And what do you mean 9 years it's been centuries. What happened? How did you escape?”
Julieta’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern. "You're not making any sense, let's get you out of the sun and back to Casita then I'm sure we can talk everything out."
"For the record I am still furious at you for leaving," Pepa huffed, "But I'm just happy you're back. You have good timing. Mirabel's quince is in a week."
"Her what?"
"Her quinceñera? You know? That really important moment in a teenage girl's life that you missed for our other daughters?"
"I know what a quinceñera is! What I don't know is how you know what it is. …or how you're speaking Spanish."
He took another step back, that little bit of hope that this was real was shattering into a million pieces. "This isn't real. Of course it's not real Bruno, it's been 400 years. Why would you suddenly find your sisters in some random mountain village…"
"Oye! Madrigal!" Suddenly a woman with braids was in his face brandishing a sandal. You've got some nerve showing up here again after you killed my goldfish!" As an afterthought "and after you abandoned your family."
Bruno snatched the sandal and tossed it to the side. "I did not abandon my family. Failed them? Yes. Abandoned them? No. Also I've killed a lot of things but never a goldfish."
"What?! You dare—"
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look I have no idea who you are and I'm trying to figure out if I've finally cracked or if there's something else going on so please leave."
Julieta and Pepa stared slack-jawed at the interaction between Pezmuerto and the man who looked like their timid brother but acted nothing like him. Pezmuerto stormed off and he began pacing, mumbling to himself about being too old for this, going insane a century ago, and family members trapped as statues.
Hesitantly Julieta reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. "I think, maybe it'd be best to try and figure this out at Casita."
:::
“Tell me if I’ve got this straight. Your name is Bruno Madrigal but you’re not our Bruno Madrigal because your version of our family was turned to stone before the Spanish even got to South America and the man who did that cursed you to be immortal.”
“Almost, you’re forgetting I sent the kids to the future. They’ll show up eventually and then we’re going to try to break the curse on the others.”
“Right, how could I forget that part?” Julieta sounded as tired as Bruno felt
“And for your family, Pedro was murdered trying to protect Alma and you three and that created the miracle?”
Pepa bit the inside of her cheek. “Don’t let Mama hear you say that but yes that is one way to put it.”
“So what happened to your Bruno?”
Pepa and Julieta both looked towards the family tree painted on the wall. “We don’t…usually talk about him anymore. But given the circumstances…”
Julieta sighed, “We don’t know. We couldn’t find him the day after Mirabel didn’t get a gift. That day turned into a week then a month and now it’s been ten years since we last saw him. Mama says he must have left the valley but—”
“You have to be a skilled mountain climber to get out of the valley and our Bruno definitely wasn’t one of them.” Pepa’s voice dropped to a whisper. “His door went dark, his room fell apart— Mama may insist he’s alive but…”
“You think he’s dead.”
They both nodded silently as Pepa’s cloud started to drizzle.
Bruno stood. These may not be his sisters but they clearly were versions of them and he wasn’t going to sit around while a version of him was off somewhere causing them pain. “If I find out he is dead, do you want to know?”
They looked at him sharply. “What?”
“How are you supposed to find him when we haven’t been able to for a decade?”
Oh right he hadn’t told them that part. “I guess now would be a good time to mention I can do a lot more than just see the future.”
:::
After getting something of Bruno’s from his room (he felt a smidge more sympathy for the other Bruno after seeing the huge amount of stairs to the vision cave. If they shared a fear of heights that must have been horrible) he had gone deeper into the jungle to perform the seeking spell away from prying eyes. Only for it to take him right back to Casita.
Invisibly skirting around the family members proved physically easy— even if it was emotionally devastating. The spell led him to a painting on the second floor. A painting that had opened.
Which was how he was now in the walls of Casita staring open mouthed at the other Bruno, curled up in a ball, asleep, in the corner of this dingy little room.
#encantober#I wrote most of this a while ago but never officially posted it so it's kinda nebulous if it truly counts or not imo#tbtk
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