#marvel cinematic tinderverse
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October first, New York
Peter: it's gay Christmas season
Clint: do you mean spooky Christmas?
Harley: it's what now?
Tony, without looking up: Halloween
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Tony: Why does Harley look furious?
Peter: Remember how Harley had his tonsils removed?
Peter: yea well he has tonsillitis, again, and can't sleep
Tony: how-
Harley: *angry whispering because he lost his voice*
Peter: I don't know but he's been angrily sick for a week now
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At the doctor's office:
Tony: Look Peter there's dinosaurs
Peter: Tony I'm 19 I don't want to play with the dinosaurs
Tony: If you're so grown up then what am I doing here?
Peter, now examining the dinosaurs: shut up
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Peter: I am in a... situation
Wade: What situation?
Peter: I spent the entire weekend writing fanfiction instead of studying for my exams or doing any of the things on my to do list and now I'm officially losing my fucking mind- I'm so done for
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Harley: my top artist on Spotify wrapped is Bring Me The Horizon and I'm in the top 0.05%
Peter: have you considered therapy
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Peter: I hate it here
Harley: Sepcify?
Peter: I just wanted to be a hoe to prove a point and BOOM I caught feelings
Peter: Gah I hate this
Harley, joking: Who is it loverboy, Wade or Johnny?
Harley: Oh God it's one of them where the fuck can I reboot both your heart and your brain?
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Peter: The
Peter: The fuck
Peter: Stabby Fence
Tony:
Harley: He means barbed wire
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Peter: You know Storm? He's so fucking hot, literally
Harley: Yea haha
Later
Harley: Hey MJ guess who finally figured out what jealousy feels like
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Harley: Shuri, wouldn't it be really fucking stupid if, hypothetically, I started catching feelings after going on a rant about not wanting anything to do with romantic relationships ever again
Shuri, intrigued: hypothetically?
Harley: I- What am I supposed to do?
Shuri: So you met Peter and you're what?
Harley, defeated: Friends with benefits
Shuri: That's rough buddy
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Stephen: You know, the things you say about yourself are fucking vile
Tony:
Tony:
Tony with tears in his eyes: why'd you say that
Tony: why'd you state the obvious like that?
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Peter, the stressed out TA: You're Kate
"Kate":
Peter: No you're not Kate kill me now
Harley, poorly hiding his laughter, sliding Kate ten dollars because they bet on Peter remembering her name
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Wade: Don't you look-
Peter, dressed in a skirt, overknees and oversized shirt with perfect eyeliner: Hot?
Peter: Yea, I'd like to feel good about myself before going to therapy so I have at least a slither of serotonin before being mentally fucked for the next 10 business days
Wade: Would you like a hug?
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Harley: What's your favourite flavour icie
Peter: Blue
Harley: Blue is not a flavour
Peter: Yes it is
Harley: Why is red not a flavour though
Peter: Because its not blue
Harley: Blue is not a flavour I will die on this hill
Peter: Then perish
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Peter: Do you know the kind of silence and the kind of hug where you know everything is going to be okay
Johnny, waiting for Peter to continue, eyebrow raised: ...
Peter: and when you kiss them nothing else matters
Johnny: Peter, baby, where are you going with this?
Peter, quietly: Tell me I'm not catching feelings
Johnny, heartbroken: Peter I-
Peter: Please- just. I can't fuck this up, how would I begin to explain this to Tony-
Johnny: So, you and Harley are what? Fuckbuddies?
Peter: yea... I'm so done for
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Peter: Why do you keep calling me Bambi
Harely: Because of the whole sad Puppy eyes you've got going on
Peter: Oh, I asked because both my parents are dead, not just my mom
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*car doesn't stop at a red, Harley and Peter are crossing the street*
Harley, stops dead: Go on hit me
Peter: Shut it, let's go
Harley: FUCKING HIT ME YOU COWARD
Peter, dragging Harley by his sleeve: honest to god I thought Tony was joking when he said he couldn't take you anywhere
Harley: As if, you love my antics
Peter: Jesus take the fucking wheel
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