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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years

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Tony: I have no idea where my stuff keeps going! I just put some tools and wires and shit right here and now it's gone!

*2 hours later*

Harley: Me and Peter have invented a new game!

Peter: It's called "Web Tonys Shit On The Ceiling Until He Notices"

Harley: I pass Peter the shit and he webs it to the ceiling

Peter: It's been a month and he still hasn't noticed yet!

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1luna1lovegood1 · 2 years

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Harley: I dare you-

Tony: Peter is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Harley: Why not?

Peter, air quoting the first part: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

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firegal19 · 1 year

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Y/n: *walks downstairs*

Steve: Hey Y/n! How was prom?

Y/n: It was awesome, dad! Stacey and I stayed after to clean up and I got to meet next years trig teacher!

Tony: That’s not the prom I remember.

Harley: I have such a bad headache

Tony: That’s the prom I remember

Bonus:

Bucky: Steve, we raised a good kid

Y/n: You two didn’t raise me, HYDRA did. Everyone knows that

#stucky #steve rogers x teen!reader #marvel incorrect quotes #winter soldier x teen reader #incorrect marvel quotes #captain america incorrect quotes #bucky barnes #stucky x daughter #stucky x daughter!reader #incorrect marvel cinematic universe #avengers incorrect quotes #bucky barnes incorrect quotes #incorrect harley keener quotes #harley keener #tony stark incorrect quotes #iron man

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ironrad · 1 year

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Tony: Peter, have you ever heard of the trolley problem?

Peter: I mean it’s not much of a problem anymore.

Tony: What do you mean?

Peter: I can just stop the trolley with my bare hands.

Tony: Ok, well, for the sake of the question, pretend that you can’t.

Peter: But I can. Why wouldn’t I factor in what I’m physically capable of?

Tony: Sure but we’re talking hypothetically-

Harley: Hypothetically I’d step in front of it because I can’t handle the pressure of decision making.

Tony: Harely no-

Peter: Don’t worry, Mr. Stark. I’d stop the trolley with my strength before he could do that.

Tony: Why did I even ask…

#Peter proceeds to write a physics equation because he doesn’t think Tony is understanding him #Harley pretends like he understands it because he thinks its funny to mess with Tony #Tony just relents and thanks Peter for the example problem because he worked hard on it #incorrect irondad quotes #irondad #spider man #iron man #incorrect peter parker #incorrect tony stark #peter parker #tony stark #incorrect avengers #incorrect mcu quotes #harley keener #incorrect harley keener quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel mcu

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bitrashteddy · 2 years

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October first, New York

Peter: it's gay Christmas season

Clint: do you mean spooky Christmas?

Harley: it's what now?

Tony, without looking up: Halloween

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bitchy-marvel-dude · 2 years

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Tony: Are you crying?

Harley, sniffling: No, it’s just an allergic reaction.

Tony: An allergic reaction to what?

Harley, sobbing, making grabby hands at Tony: LIFE!

#incorrect quotes #marvel #mcu #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #marvel cinematic universe #tony stark #iron man #harley keener #not a ship #do not tag as ship #irondad #incorrect irondad quotes #incorrect Harley keener quotes #incorrect tony stark quotes #incorrect iron man quotes #iron lad #incorrect supreme family quotes #supreme family

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drunk-cryptic-witch · 2 years

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Harley: y/n y/n guess what!

Y/n: What

Harley: I replaced Parker’s pills with those fake ones that turn into little animals

Y/n: Oh that’s evil *half scared half interested*

Peter, from the other room: I THREW UP A ZEBRA

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incorrectpeterparker · 2 years

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Harley: Look. I may not be a saint, but it’s not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Peter: Okay, that’s really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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azerishi · 2 years

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Peter: *drinks all of the coffee meant for Tony, surprise hugs him and at the same time gives him a heart attack, and blows 2 of Tony's labs all in the span of one (1) afternoon*

Harley: How do you cry when your sandwich falls apart, but then be able to do this with no fear?

Tony, fighting off a forming headache: I've already fallen apart so it’s too late for him to cry about it.

#incorrect peter parker #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect tony stark #incorrect marvel cinematic universe #incorrect mcu quotes #irondad and spiderson #iron dad #spider son #incorrect harley keener quotes #i shit you not i posted this without tags and checked later like wtf where's my one hearter i feel betrayal #and then i noticed my clownery

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marvellyous-archive · 2 years

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[ Harley and Peter sitting in jail together ]

Harley: So who should we call?

Peter: I’d call Tony, but I feel safer in jail.

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headcanonthings · 1 year

Conversation

Tony, texting Harley while in a meeting: Call me in five minutes and say I gotta come get you.

Harley: On a scale of 1 to 10, what kind of emergency is this.

Tony: 10, get me out of here.

Harley: Put me on speaker, I'll even start crying.

#incorrect quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect avengers quotes #incorrect ironman quotes #mcu #marvel #avengers #tony stark #Iron Man #harley keener

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marvel-lous-guy · 1 year

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Peter: If I had a dollar for every time I got confused I'd be like "where'd this dollar come from?" Then I'd get another dollar and I'd be like "where are all these dollars coming from?" Leading to more dollars and more confusion and eventually I'd be crushed by dollars and have no clue why.

Tony: ...What...?

Harley: Or you could just get a bank account

Tony: For the love of God PLEASE just go to sleep!

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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year

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Peter: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Tony: Plane tickets?

Stephen: Concert tickets?

Harley: Prostitution?

Peter, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

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firegal19 · 1 year

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Tony at a party taking a headcount of his children:

Morgan and America: *dancing*

M.J.: *reading up in the rafters*

Y/n: *with M.J. but drawing*

Tony: *sighs and puts his hand on his face*

Peter: *on the chandelier, Spidey style*

Harley: *about to start a fight with a corrupt city councilman*

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ironrad · 1 year

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Peter: Am I in trouble?

Tony: What why would you be in trouble?

Peter: Oh, sorry you just looked at me.

Tony: ????

Harley: Mr. Stark, stop looking at him.

Harley: AVERT YOUR EYES

#incorrect irondad quotes #irondad #spider man #iron man #incorrect peter parker #incorrect tony stark #peter parker #tony stark #incorrect avengers #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect harley keener quotes

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bitrashteddy · 1 year

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Tony: Why does Harley look furious?

Peter: Remember how Harley had his tonsils removed?

Peter: yea well he has tonsillitis, again, and can't sleep

Tony: how-

Harley: *angry whispering because he lost his voice*

Peter: I don't know but he's been angrily sick for a week now

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