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#incorrect iron man
1luna1lovegood1 · 2 years
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Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*
May, sitting on peter's desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?
Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!
Tony, turning on the light: Try again.
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azerishi · 2 years
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Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.
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bitrashteddy · 1 year
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October first, New York
Peter: it's gay Christmas season
Clint: do you mean spooky Christmas?
Harley: it's what now?
Tony, without looking up: Halloween
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wingitbold · 1 month
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Undying Love
Nat: *smirking* You have become a lightweight, Tony
Rhodes: What?
Tony: That can never happen
Nat: So, you, in your full sobriety, confessed of your undying love for me?
Tony: *fumbling* I said those to Pepper.
Nat: That’s what you think.
Tony: *proceeds to delete all footages of that incident while denying all accusations*
Tony: I WOULD NEVER
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marvelnatasha · 1 year
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Peter: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Tony: I'm sorry, wHat?
Peter: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Tony: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
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marvellyous-archive · 2 years
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Peter: *in time out after doing some pranking*
Tony: Peter, what did I say about pranking people?
Peter: Don't get caught.
Stephen: *raises an eyebrow at Tony*
Tony: *laughs nervously* I never said that.
Stephen: Time out for you as well, Tony.
Tony: I'm not a kid! And I'm your boyfriend!
Stephen: And?
Tony: 
Tony: Move a bit, kid.
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topknott · 2 years
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Peter: Hey Mr Stark-
Tony: No.
Peter:
Peter: I haven't said anything yet.
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silelda · 11 months
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Iron Man: Another day, another staff meeting. Who would have thought saving the world would be so boring?
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Peter P.: we're gonna go play Among Us on the Connect 4 board
Tony: ...what?
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romanoffshouse · 5 months
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[Natasha speaking Russian]
Y/N, sighing: Yeah, I know.
Tony: You speak Russian?
Y/N: No. I just know the phrase, "This is all your fault"
Y/N: She says it a lot.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Tony: I'm a Stark, flirting is part of my heritage.
Clint: What does that mean?
Natasha: His father was a slut too.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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Peter: Change is inedible.
Tony: Don't you mean inevitable ?
Peter, spitting out a mouthful of pennies: no I did not
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azerishi · 2 years
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Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.
Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.
Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.
Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?
Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?
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bitrashteddy · 1 year
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Tony: Why does Harley look furious?
Peter: Remember how Harley had his tonsils removed?
Peter: yea well he has tonsillitis, again, and can't sleep
Tony: how-
Harley: *angry whispering because he lost his voice*
Peter: I don't know but he's been angrily sick for a week now
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incorrectmarvelquote · 3 months
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Peter: Sometimes Tony asks me “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Peter: I’ve learned that that actually means ‘stop’
Peter: He is never very interested in my thought process
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marvelnatasha · 1 year
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steve: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
nat: >:O language
bucky: Yeah watch your fucking language
sam: OKAY WHO TAUGHT BUCKY THE FUCK WORD?
peter: 'The FUCK word'
thor: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
nat: Oh my god he censored it
peter: Say fuck, thor.
tony: Do it, thor. Say fuck.
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