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#love how he’s holding his hand in the first one
seumyo · 3 days
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BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 3:58
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No amount of hectic schedules, exhausting patrols, rowdy villains, and never-ending legal paperwork could ever keep Bakugou from attending his daughters’ extracurricular activities—because he’d literally go through literal hell and back than to ever see a disheartened pout along with the silent treatment after he gets home from work.
You think he’ll ever miss any of his daughters’ milestones? Fuck no!
Bakugou insists on being at every event, his phone—and even an actual camera during a good day—in hand, his heart swelling with pride and unconditional love that makes his chest figuratively hurt; it might as well be a medical problem at some point. 
Because, if anything, Bakugou Katsuki is a father first and a hero second.
“Shit, ‘m late. Have they started yet?”
He’s sweating as if he just used his explosions to propel himself in the air to get to you quicker, but, in truth, he sort of had to just run since the traffic on the highway today would’ve only angered and slowed him down. He left patrol to Halfie, who offered to take his shift, knowing how many times Bakugou covered for him when he was in his son’s piano recital.
“They just started doing warmups,” you answer. “Did you run? You’re drenched to the bone; you’re going to catch a cold if you don’t get changed into some dry clothes.”
“Hah, doubt it.” He snorts, though he does appreciate the thought of you bringing him a spare shirt for just-in-case purposes.
You're always the one who thinks ahead, aren't you? Bakugou knows he’s a very lucky man to have such a doting, caring wife that humbles him whenever he gets too focused on his pride. The balance that he didn’t know he needed!
Ignoring the gawking stares of the other parents—because it’s not everyday you see the Pro Hero Dynamight in mundane activities such as watching his kid take gymnastics’ lessons—he looks through the glass in search of his little princess.
Just as he saw her, his lips curled to that oh-so genuine smile, one that just said, “That’s my daughter, right there! Look at how awesome she is!” 
Bakugou remembers how his parents were the same and how they were very supportive of his interests and hobbies, no matter how odd they may be for a five-year-old. How often do you see someone learning to take on both hiking and archery at the age of five? Bakugou was sure he learned most skills during his childhood that made him a firm hero in the field today.
“She has a bit of trouble with tumbling because of her tummy.”
“Yeah? And does that have somethin’ to do with my awesome cooking?” Bakugou replied smugly. “Besides, ‘ts just baby fat, and I’d prefer to see her like this than to see her thin but often sick.”
“Mhm, and she makes up for the cutest ending pose.”
“And her effortless splits. Have the coaches seen her do that?”
You shook your head. “Not yet,” you say, “but I think they’re about to do it—oh! Look, look!”
And he does; his phone’s camera is already recording his youngest daughter doing a perfect vertical split, while the other girls somewhat struggle to maintain a consistent posture. 
“She’s a natural, hun.”
“She is,” you chuckle, “just like her Daddy to a certain extent.”
“Damn right, she is.”
Bakugou tries to hold back his laughter when your daughter once again attempts a forward roll with the guidance of the staff. Her tummy somewhat makes it a bit difficult for her to do so. The way she hesitates but then does the forward roll, albeit a little lopsided with a smile that shows her adorable tooth gap—it was safe to say that your daughter was over the moon with her gymnastics lessons.
It’s all too much for him to take.
And when all is over, he greets his daughter by picking her up and blowing raspberries on her neck that have her squealing in laughter before he insists that he’ll be the one to talk to the coaches about the upcoming schedules and the progress your daughter has made. 
“Mr. Bakugou, she’s a good listener, and I believe that she’ll be moving onto the next class with the older children in no time,” they told him. “Has she received prior training before this one?”
“She’s also taking ballet lessons,” he answers, “but gymnastics is what she really likes. Ballet was just a compromise since your services weren’t available in our area at that time.”
“That’s wonderful to hear. It’s a joy to have her in class. I’ve already sent Dr. [Last Name] the schedules we offered, and we are looking forward to having your daughter in the upcoming lessons.”
The walk back to your car was light and quiet for a change. Your youngest daughter, Kusami, was out like a light in Bakugou’s arms, having worn herself out with socializing, rolling, doing splits, and whatnot the gymnastics’ instructors told her to do. And Bakugou was just letting the simple moment sink in because this is what he considers the most rewarding part of his day. 
Time spent with his family.
Bakugou also warmed up to the thought of having to interact with other parents. He chatted with a single father earlier, whose daughter was the oldest in Kusami’s class. It was nice to converse with equally enthusiastic and supportive parents that you meet through your children's extracurricular activities.
“Let’s go through a drive-through; get Katsumi her usual order,” Bakugou murmurs, remembering how his oldest daughter, Katsumi, would’ve probably woken up from her nap by now and was probably anticipating her family’s return. 
“Alright,” you nod. “Katsumi and Kusami have swimming lessons tomorrow at five in the afternoon, too. Do you think you’d get home that early?”
“Of course,” he answers. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
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jesuistrestriste · 2 days
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art is the MESSIEST kisser ever like if u make out his spit is literally everywhere. like he'll kiss u on the mouth then keep on kissing ur neck but w the wettest kisses ever. and i JUST KNOW he def drools. like when u give him head and his head is resting against a pillow, he's so lost in it that he can't even think. like the only thing he can do anymore is whimper and moan like a little bitch. and when u look at him u see him drooling all over the pillow😭
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art donaldson has a messy mouth. he drools when it feels too good, he kisses with almost too much tongue when he's desperate, and his warm, eager lips are always on your skin whenever he gets a chance to touch you properly.
he practically salivates like a thirsty puppy on a hot day. it pools under his tongue whenever he catches a glimpse of the more intimate areas of your soft skin; the nape of your neck, your stomach, your inner thighs. and he has to try desperately to swallow it down when you two are in public and he can't get his lips on you.
the first time you and art made out, it was very sloppy. you thought this mightve been a result of minor inexperience on his part, or nervousness, or excitement, so you let it happen. you let him moan into your open mouth and grab at your shirt while he slid his pink tongue over yours. you let his sticky saliva mix with yours as your mouths mashed together. you let him kiss you and kiss you and kiss you until he came in his pants.
the whole ordeal lasted about 7 minutes.
after that, you had assumed that—in time—he'd get more reserved with his mouth as you two continued to be intimate.
but this didn't happen.
if anything, he only got more comfortable with you, and thus only became more orally-fixated and messy with his mouth.
he liked to suck on your fingers during sex.
he liked to slather your arousal with his spit when he went down on you.
he liked to kiss you wetly all over your body before bed.
he liked yearned for it all.
when you'd give him head, your slick lips bobbing over his tip and swallowing salty dribbles of precome, he'd drool all over whatever was near his mouth. it was just too hard to focus on not drooling when the warmth of your tongue got him close so fast. his eyes would get lidded and his knees would grow weak and his mind would turn to mush the second you started to blow him. sometimes you'd have to hold his hips to keep him steady. he was very predictable.
one thing you two like to do together is have art get on all fours on the bed, knees spread apart with his cock hard and hanging between his thighs. his hands will go up and squeeze onto the pillows as he lowers his head and lets you jerk him off.
it’s kinda demeaning, in a way; being milked like a cow.
but you like doing it to him, and he likes whatever you like, so he loves this.
when your hand starts to stroke his cock, strings of pre leaking from his slit, his arms will usually start to shake. it'll start at his shoulders, and then go down to his elbows, and then end when his wrists can't hold him up anymore. he'll let himself collapse down onto the cushions without more than a whine of protest and a renewed tint of pink across the bridge of his nose. his head will lay on one side of his face, his lips parted to let out whimpers and whines as his hips jolt, and then it’ll start.
he’ll drool.
all over.
down the side of his face, over his bottom lip, down his chin. it all happens depending on how his head is positioned. but he always, always, always slobbers on the pillow a little.
just as his eyes start to roll back, and his pelvis starts to shallowly move to thrust his cock into your moving grasp, his sweet and sticky saliva will dribble down his face someway and soak into the pillowcase.
he can't help it.
because, again, you make it hard to pay attention to anything other than how good you make his dick feel. it throbs in your hand.
when you catch a glimpse of his drooling, you usually smile and speed up your touch.
"Art, baby-" you'll coo to him, "drooling."
and he'll know right away what you mean.
"Anghh— feel s'good, s'good— 'm sorry, 'm sorry," he'll inevitably slur.
he'll try to wipe it with the back of his hand, but he's usually shaking too much for that to do much of anything. it more just smears the transparent fluid across his flushed face.
slurp. wipe. whimper.
a few more strokes of your hand, and a thumb pressed right under his cockhead, is all he needs to let go after that point.
his eyes will roll back as he cries out and bucks into your fist, shooting and coating the bedding underneath with his load. he'll tremble and whine until his hands grasping at the sheets below have the instinct to fly between his legs and stop the overstimulation. you generally let up soon after he makes that known.
after you clean him up and ease him into bed, he'll make sure to kiss you goodnight. and it's messy and needy and a little bit too much, but you let him do it anyways. he's eager to please, and he's eager to show you how much he appreciates the way you take care of him. he’s just eager.
maybe one day you'll get sick of how much tongue he uses when he kisses, but you doubt it. it’s just so perfectly him.
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hannieehaee · 3 days
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can u do how svt members act during their girlfriend's first time, please? sorry for my bad english
18+ / mdi
their first time with their virgin s/o
content: established relationship implied, smut, mentions of penetrative sex, reader is a virgin, mentions of losing virginity, etc.
wc: 724
a/n: such a cute concept omg i hope u like it!!!
masterlist
seungcheol -
goes crazy at the thought of being your first but holds back to prevent scaring you off. plans your first time to the t, wanting to make it as loving as humanly possible. sensual in the way he undresses you, kisses you, gets you ready and eventually makes love to you. would have to constantly muffle groans at the pleasure you so effortlessly gave him.
jeonghan -
coo's and praises you constantly. treats you like royalty, teasing you but also overwhelming you with his touches. drives you to the edge of losing your mind many times before taking it all away with a wicked laugh. super soft during it all, but still tortures you with pleasure you'd never felt before.
joshua -
the epitome of a gentleman. seduces you for days until you finally fall into his arms and beg for him to take your virginity. touches you in places you didn't know could bring pleasure until driving you into desperation. slow and attentive when it comes to actually making love to you.
jun -
so nervous aaahhh!!!! but he's an absolute gentleman and prioritizes you over everything so he pushes any nerves aside to make your first time as perfect as possible. has to hold back from cumming the moment he sees you naked for the first time, but manages to make the experience perfect for you.
soonyoung -
will try not to show it but he'd be soooo anxious to be your first time. sometimes his emotions get the best of him, so he'd be afraid that his lust would be too obvious. would still be super soft with you, becoming instantly infatuated with your naked form.
wonwoo -
would be so soft and attentive to you, never letting his hands stray away from you. kisses every inch of your body with murmured praise into your skin. your pleasure absolutely comes first, so he'd prolong his own to prioritize yours. goes at your pace and holds himself back to make you feel as comfortable and loved as possible.
jihoon -
visibly nervous and fidgety, but super sweet to you. stops every five seconds to ask for permission before making any move, then proceeding to ask you if you were okay or if it felt good. loses his mind the moment he feels you, but still holds back and remains a gentleman throughout.
seokmin -
so so so so thankful to be the one you decided to give your virginity to. literally worships you every second in which he holds you in his arms. anxious about it all but pushes it aside to prioritize your pleasure and comfort. literally the best person to take your virginity bc he takes it to heart and gives you his soul.
mingyu -
prepares the perfect night for you, cooking a romantic candlelit meal and grooming himself perfectly for seduction. guides you through it all and teaches you everything there is to know without judgment. provides you with the greatest pleasures possible, creating the most loving atmosphere for you.
minghao -
he's the perfect person to lose your virginity to lol he'd be so loving and such a gentleman throughout it all. whispers praise and compliments into your ears and marks your body with love bites. draws out the experience for hours by making you cum with every other mean possible before actually taking your virginity.
seungkwan -
super nervous about it!!! does not want to risk disappointing you or somehow hurting you so he's just a nervous wreck. in the end, he lets himself relax by communicating with you during it all, wanting nothing more than to provide you with a loving and memorable experience. would maybe make some jokes during it whilst also worshiping you.
vernon -
is mostly casual about it, but is still slightly nervous to be the one to take your virginity. would be super nice and go at your pace, dropping a few jokes to make you feel comfortable and at ease. immediately entranced by how pretty you are and driven by the lust you cause him.
chan -
super cheesy about it all. plans a day with you in which you'd do it and creates the perfect ambience with rose petals, wine and candles. makes love to the entirety of your body with his lips before finally fucking you. the type to cuddle and hold you the entirety of the night.
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fastandcarlos · 2 days
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Cuddles Are Home : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen
summary: as max arrives home after a busy day, he's keen to try something new, however it doesn't quite work out as well as he imagined
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No words needed to be spoken as Max walked into your hotel room. His muscles were aching, his eyes drooping as a result of yet another long day of practice. Race day was only a day away and he was pushing himself to the limit. You barely glanced at him as he walked in, knowing he had his own routine that he loved. Whilst Max sorted himself, you laid out across the sofa and scrolled through your phone, catching up with the events of the day that you had missed whilst down at the paddock supporting Max.
As soon as you heard his footsteps come back through the room you stood up from the sofa and went into the small kitchen that was attached. Meanwhile, Max walked into the living room and threw himself down on the sofa. He stretched his limbs out as much as he could, with his tall frame it didn’t take much for him to take up most of the room. After a few minutes you returned, placing the hot cup of tea that you had made for Max on the coffee table, you looked in confusion to try and find some space. Max could feel you staring, smiling softly at the expression on your face. He didn’t say a word, he simply tapped against his muscular chest, only to make you scoff, shaking your head as you quickly refused to accept Max’s offer.
“Just lay here, I’ll be alright.”
“You’re sore from a day of racing, the last thing you need is me on top of you,” you tried to argue, but Max was having none of it.
“I wouldn’t offer if it was a problem,” Max assured you, lazily reaching out and taking a hold of your hand. You took a step forward before he used his extra weight to pull you down on top of him. Your head rested at the top of his chest, just underneath his neck, bodies pressed together as you managed to rest your legs between Max’s. His arm wrapped around you, making sure that you were safe in position, squeezing you nice and tight to make the most of the close proximity between you both.
“I can’t believe you’ve got me laying here,” you chuckled as you felt several kisses being pressed against the top of your head, “we’ve become one of those couples.”
“It’s your fault,” he innocently teased, “you’ve turned me into one of those boyfriends I never thought I’d be.”
“Hey,” you giggled, slapping your hand gently against Max’s bare chest. You knew deep down it was true what Max was saying, he had been quite standoffish when you first started dating, but over time you had found a new, softer, side to Max that left him being known more for how affectionate he was towards you rather than the world champion he was.
And you would never have had him any other way.
“I hate that I love what you’ve done to me.”
There he went again, jokingly blaming you as if he wasn’t hopelessly in love with you and thankful for you every single day.
“You’re comfortable, right? We can shuffle around if you’re not babe.”
“I’m alright,” you assured Max, shuffling closer into his side as his grip around you tightened. “I wonder if the Max I knew when we first started dating ever imagined himself cuddling on the sofa like this.”
It was the kind of wholesome moment that Max always refused to be a part of, but now he craved. He laid for some time and told you about his day, filled you in on all the details that you missed from the practice from where you were stood in the paddock, making sure to share every last detail with you.
And as he did so, you listened intently too. You were so close to his heart you could feel it quicken as he spoke about those adrenaline inducing moments, or calming again when he told you how relieved he was to return the car to the garage in one piece.
Once he’d finished speaking, you tilted your head back and looked up at Max. “I could imagine us laying here forever you know.”
He hummed in agreement, “I love being able to hold you this close to me.”
You chose not to respond as you heard how sleepy Max was, silently encouraging him to try and get a bit of rest.
It didn’t take long before you heard Max’s light snores about you letting you know that he was resting, despite your apprehension, laying on his chest had ended up being surprisingly comfortable. You weren’t sure how long you ended up laying there as you soon found yourself beginning to get sleepy on top of Max. You weren’t sure whether it was his touch, or the comfort of knowing that he was right there beside you, but something caused your body to switch. Max was out like a light, and soon enough you joined him, still squeezed on the sofa with your holds as tight as ever, making sure that nothing bad happened to the other person.
“Ouch! Oh my goodness!”
“Babe? What’s wrong?”
A loud groan came from you as you felt the edge of the coffee table hit against your back before landing on the floor with a thud. Your hands rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you tried to figure how in a matter of moments you had gone from comfortably laying on top of Max to find yourself laid out on the living room floor, pain shooting through you.
Max jolted upright as soon as he heard your voice, cringing as he looked down at you on the floor. Your expression told him everything, pressing your hand into the small of your back where the pain was at its worst.
“Love, I’m so sorry. Are you alright? Tell me where it hurts…please,” Max whispered, pushing himself off of the sofa and joining you on the floor, pulling you into his side.
“Damn,” you sighed, biting down on the inside of your lip, struggling to come to terms with what had happened. It didn’t take long for Max to place his hand where your pain was coming from in an attempt to ease it for you.
“Do you need to get checked out? Does it hurt anywhere else?” Max questioned, the panic strong in his voice as his eyes darted to check you properly.
Your head shook, letting Max take a moment to check for himself that you really were alright, covering every last bit of your body.
“Just my pride, it’s taken a bit of a dent,” you tried to joke, bringing the faintest of smiles to Max’s face. “I think my head brushed against the side of the table, but somehow I just about managed to miss it.”
Max doesn’t look as certain as you though.
“Come on, I think a proper bed might help me to feel better.”
Max is still doubtful as you rise to your feet, refusing to let you do anything alone. He could tell from the feeling in his arms that he must’ve gotten tired, ultimately letting go which led to you rolling off of him and ending up in a bundle on the floor.
“Do you think you might be concussed or something?”
“Max, love, I promise that my head didn’t hit anything, I’ll be alright.”
He wants to nod and assure that you he understands, but he knows exactly what you’re like. He’s lost count of how many times you’ve pretended in front of him to stop him from worrying, not wanting thoughts of you to cloud him when he has so many other things to think about, especially when it came to his career.
Max is with you every step of the way as you walk into the bedroom of your hotel, encouraging you to move as slowly as possible. Only when you’re laid out does he finally begin to relax a little.
As soon as he’s there beside you, you’re rolling across and tucking yourself back into him again. First your leg drapes over him, then your arm, and soon enough you’re pushing your entire frame on top of him.
“Do you really want to do this?” Max questioned, reluctantly placing his arms around you, his voice shaky and filled with concern.
“I think I might be a little bit safer laying in a big double bed rather than the sofa,” you assured Max, keeping your grip on him nice and tight so that he had no choice but to let you stay there.
Max wanted to protest, but there was no way he could argue with his injured girl. “Why do you like this so much.”
The answer was easy for you, it was the one thing that you loved more than anything.
You loved the warmth that it brought you, the comfort, and the way it made your heart race. Above all else, you loved how it always made you fall a little bit more in love with Max every single time.
“Your cuddles always feel like home.”
“Really?” Max asked in surprise, never quite imaging you to feel that way. “If that’s the case, I guess I better let you lay here on my chest for the night, right?”
“I won’t be arguing if you do,” you chuckled, finally feeling Max relax underneath you after your little incident.
Max is still a little wary, he can’t help but fret about you. But having you right there where he can keep an eye on you is the best he can ask for. “I love you,” he murmured, pressing a light kiss against the very top of your head.
“I love you too,” you responded, stretching to be able to capture Max’s jawline with your lips, knowing how much of a sweet spot that sharp line was for him. His strong arms held onto you a little tighter in response, making your heart swell as you both close your eyes again, hoping that next time around you’re still laying there engulfed in each other’s arms again.
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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wandasfifthwife · 3 days
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🌷 her little brat
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mommy!wanda x fem/afab!reader
you attend an event you were told not to go to. when Wanda’s contact appears on your phone you’re sure of what’ll transpire once you’re back home
tw: smut, established relationship (dating), top/dom!wanda, bottom/bratty sub!reader, slight age gap (w = 30, r = 22), reader is called baby, alcohol/drug mention (not r or w), rough sex (consensual), hair pulling (length and type not described), mommy title used, strap referred to as Wanda’s dick, strap in v (r receiving), oral (w receiving), impact play (spanking, cheek slapping), brat tamer / brat dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, r is described to be wearing a dress, not really proofread
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୧ 2.2k‧₊˚ 🎐 masterlist ⋅
There’s a list of rules the both of you agreed on—and then there’s a grey line between them. You often danced on the line, always teetering on the line of disobeying Wanda—on the cusp of being a bad girl, but far enough where you usually don’t get punished for it.
She knows this, she knows you.
An event—the one brought up by your friend a week ago—was happening tonight.
Usually you’re okay with whatever answer Wanda provides, about whether or not you can go to an event.
The night you went to ask about this party she had sat in bed, a book in her lap. When she saw you come in, the book was discarded and you filled in where it was. You tried to get on her good side first—kissing her, whispering how much you love her, smiling at her. She dealt with it for so long, hand hitting the back of your thigh playfully—asking you to just tell her already.
“My friend invited me to this event, can I go?”
“Can my baby communicate better? What event?”
“A party,” you whisper against her neck, wincing when she hums—signaling you to repeat what you’ve said, “a party.”
“Mm what kind? A birthday party?”
“A house party.”
“So drinking, smoking—?”
“Yes?”
“Then no.”
You push back off her shoulder to look her in the eyes, “but—”
Her expression brings you to a halt, pulling you back down to lay on her shoulder again. You sigh, relaxing into her when her fingers draw stars onto your back, “good girl.”
If only she could read your mind in that moment, she would’ve taken that good girl comment back. You fixed your expression to seem as if you “moved on,” but you were going to this party. You’ve not gone to a single college party, always obeying Wanda and staying back with her. And it’s tempting, but you want to try it once. Just once, and she’ll never have to know about it.
Your plan was stupid, but who can you blame—you’ve never snuck around her like this before. She works daily from 9-5, and on Friday nights she’s usually later because she goes out with her coworkers. So she’s not usually home until 10PM.
Once she left for her dinner your friend came and picked you up, driving you towards the house. There were three hours to spend before your friend had to drive you back home so you could take everything off and act as if you’ve been there the whole time.
“Hey, you made it,” your friend starts, pulling you into a hug.
You laugh, “I’m here!”
“You doing alcohol tonight or—?”
“No, unfortunately.”
“Very unfortunate—why,” he asks, putting the extra cup he had set out for you back down onto a table.
“Just wanna be sober tonight is all. How’s your girlfriend doing? Is she here tonight?”
“Awh no, she’s studying,” he says, taking a sip of his drink, “You know STEM majors, cutting back the fun often so they can study.”
A tap on your shoulder and someone from one of your classes pops into your vision, smiling and hugging you. You return the energy, but hold back on saying a name because you’ve unfortunately forgotten it.
“My word, it’s so good to see you. How’s everything been? We soooo need to catch up soon.”
“Oh I’d love to, let me check my schedule,” you reach for your phone in your purse, pulling it out to check your calendar, “I could this weekend if you’d like?”
She agrees, squeezing your shoulder affectionately, “anyways, I’m heading out back. You can totally join. I can give you a house tour before though too?”
You thank her, following her through the crowd of bodies and clouds of smoke. The sweet aroma in the air from multiple people’s vapes is colliding with the smell of multiple people’s sweat. It’s a relief when you’re able to walk outside, the fresher air filling your lungs.
“Do you live on campus,” she asks, stepping down the stairs to walk out onto the yard.
“No I live with my girlfriend, we’re only like 15 minutes away. It’s not a bad commute.”
“Do you both go?”
“Oh no, she’s graduated.”
She looks shocked, sitting on a pool bench and patting the space next to her, “how old is she then?”
“Thirty.”
She nods, smiling suddenly and you take its because someone’s walking up from behind. A guy appears, introducing himself to you.
He sits himself across from you two, motioning a drink in your direction but you signal your distaste, “ahh alright, how’s your night been? Also it seems like Kacey and Lance are fucking in your bedroom again.”
“Again,” she sighs, exhausted, “I’m going to shut this party down.”
“No need for that, just stop inviting them.”
“That’s unless, they always show up.”
He laughs, “they must have some party kink seeing how they’re always fucking.”
You laugh, reaching behind you to grab your phone when you feel it buzzing underneath your thigh. Your heart beats louder when you notice the contact.
“Hey, you alright girl?”
No.
“Im fine, just realized I have an exam on Monday,” you breathe out, turning your phone’s vibration off. It’s only been an hour, clock reading 7:03PM. Maybe she’s just checking in on you? A text rings in just then, telling you to answer her call. You smile sheepishly to your friends when your phone screen lights up again.
“Do you need to answer that?”
“Uh,” you hesitate but end up hanging up, “no, it’s fine.”
It’s really not. You had every intention to not let her find out tonight, and she might not know—but you highly doubt that when you read her next text.
Come home.
She knows—she knows you’ve left for the party, and now she knows you’re not responding to her. You’re digging yourself into a rabbit hole. It’s exhilarating and nerve wracking.
Twenty minutes later and you can’t stop yourself from worrying. It’s one thing when she messaging you, it’s another when she goes silent. Radio silent. nothing comes through anymore, no calls or texts.
You feel you’ve done enough. Priorities have since changed. Before there was value in a college party (it’s not any different from the clubs Wanda’s taken you to, there’s just more vodka). But now? You’re nervously tapping the back of your phone, looking through the crowd for the one who drove you to the party.
You thank your friend once she’s driven you home, feeling your throat close after you’ve shut the door and watch her drive away. You now feel alone, cold walking back into the house. The lights are off except for a lamp shining in the living room, and apparently a candle was set in the kitchen— a floral scent filling the house.
It did nothing to calm you down.
“Hi baby,” Wanda starts, calling out to you from her place on the couch, “enjoy your party?”
“It was fun.”
“Mm, still fun even though I told you not to go?”You step closer, mouth opening to snap at her but she’s quicker, “don’t fucking start.”
You scoff, staying where you are and crossing your arms, “really? You’re being dramatic.”
“Tell me, why am I dramatic?”
“Because I went to a party.”
“You think I’m dramatic that you went to a party?” Your nod makes her laugh, airy and soft, “I don’t care, we’ve gone to clubs together. That’s not what I’m mad at, could you tell me what I’m actually mad at?”
“Leaving.”
“Close—disobeying. I’m upset you snuck behind my back and broke a rule,” she sighs, leaning onto her palm, “and you had a long streak going, you’ve been my good girl for so long you had to go and break that.”
“Well forgive me for wanting a fun night.”
“Did you communicate that with me?”
Your silence is loud, answering her question. She looks at you for a minute, eyeing you up and down, enjoying the sight.
“That dress looks pretty on you.”
“Thank you.”
“Why don’t you crawl over here, give me a show.“
“No thank you.”
“That wasn’t a question.”
Your cheeks heat in embarrassment as you bend down to the floor, eyes focusing on the wooden floor below you in shame. She ticks her jaw, “look at me.”
You lift your head, heart stuttering in your chest when you find her dark eyes. They’re looking all over you—your eyes, lips, breasts… you feel exposed with clothes on.
“I kind of want to see you turn around and push your hips up for me,” she mumbles, “would you do that for me baby?”
You grit your teeth, “and if I don’t?”
“You won’t come for a week—turn over for me?”
You do as told, turning away from her and bending your front half down onto the rug. It’s embarrassing how this is making you wet, panties growing darker the longer you lay on the floor poised as such. She doesn’t say anything and she doesn’t have to, the burn of her stare is enough.
“Come here,” You’re quick to move, resting your head along the inside of her thigh. Racing heart settling once you’ve settled into something familiar.
She brushes your cheek, “want to hear the punishment I’ve laid out for you?”
“Yes.” You’re met with the feeling of her hand colliding with your cheek, a gasp tearing from you. Water gathers in your eyes as you fix your posture, “yes, mommy.”
“Done this for what, two years and you’re still messing up my title?”
“Sorry, mommy.”
She hums, “I’m going to have you eat me out. If you do well I’ll fuck you with my strap. Understand?”
You nod, moving away from her so she can remove her silk pj shorts. Her scent hits your nose when you move closer, everything about it is intoxicating. You press a kiss to her clit, smiling at her shivering.
A hand comes to grip your hair, pulling a gasp from you, “tease me anymore and you’re going to bed with nothing, got it?”
“Yes—sorry, mommy.”
You don’t try anything after. She keeps your head stuffed between her thighs, moaning softly each time your tongue brushes against her clit.
“Being good for me, so good. Keep going, ah—!”
You swivel your tongue, and feeling her clench around nothing you know she’s close. She pulls your hair, jerking it harder when you do something that draws her closer to her orgasm.
“Ah yes, right there. Keep going, fuck.”
You whine, pressing closer and licking a stripe up her cunt. Her eyes are trained on you, watching every move and responding accordingly. She grinds herself on you, gasping as she comes off her high.
“Did so good,” she gasps in air, “so good for mommy. Want a reward now?”
You nod, climbing onto her lap and smiling. You feel her hands slide under your thighs to carry you into the bedroom, where she can set the harness onto her hips.
“Gonna be my good girl and take all of this,” she asks, parting your folds with her fingers, a slick sound coming from the action.
You whine, “fuck, please, I’ll be so good for you.”
“That’s nice baby, but what else?”
“I’m sorry for being such a brat. I shouldn’t have snuck off like that, should’ve talked with you. I’m sorry mommy.”
“I know baby,” she starts, hips pushing forward, “I know you’re sorry.”
“Mommy,” you gasp, mind shutting off at the feeling of every inch of her dick push itself in.
She grinds the length in, getting wet again at the sight of your cunt swallowing her entire length, even trying to suck it deeper. Her hands grab your hips, pulling you further off to bed so she can use the distance to her advantage.
“Feel this,” she says, pressing as deep as she can, “this is a reward only for good girls, are you done being a brat? Wanna be my good girl again?”
“Yes,” you mumble, shouting when her hand slaps your ass.
“Fucking speak up.”
“Yes! Yes, I’m done, just please!”
The pace she sets is brutal, tantalizing—hands pulling you down harder onto her length to hear you babble. She has you right where she wants you, moaning her name with glossy eyes. Your back slides against the sheet with each thrust, sounds half muffled by your arm and the sheets that got pulled up beside your body.
The bedroom’s half dark, the lamp from the living room cascading through the open door. You can see half her face, see it come closer until her lips are on yours. You met her halfway, arms wrapping around her shoulders to pull her closer. The taste of her lips is tantalizing, something sweet overwhelming your senses when her tongue runs across your bottom lip. You jerk when she presses against the spot, the one that makes you see stars.
Once she gets a pace going against the spot, she feels you melt in her grasp—eyes shutting, and head pushing back against the bed. Your loud moans become fixed breathy whines as your high builds.
The feeling of her body yours, length pushing and grinding just perfectly, her thumb swiping your clit pushes you closer to your high. You’re muttering nonsense into the air, gripping her shoulders tighter—nails pushing into her skin.
“Gonna come?”
“Yes! ‘M gonna come. Please let me, mommy. I’ve been good,” she pushed back in then, drawing a strangled sound from your throat, “oh fuck me, please!”
“Go ahead.”
She feels herself fall in love even more when she watches how your body writhes under her, hands drawing her face in for a kiss like you usually do. Who’s she to deny you, lips finding yours.
“You drive me crazy,” she whispers, looking down at you with a smile.
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Welcome to the Party
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Summary: what’s worse than your older brother?…..his extremely attractive best friend
an: this Ellie has been living rent fucking free in my head and I absolutely cannot carry on any longer without writing about her…..also my last Ellie fic was sickly sweet I need some mean!Ellie to soothe the burn 😌 (also credit to @absdoll for writing Ellie as someone who listens to PartyNextDoor?? That is a HUGE reason that inspired me to write this bc that is absolutely so very accurate)
Warnings: SMUT!!! MDNI!!! 18+ ONLY!!, angst!, toxic!Ellie, mean!Ellie, brothersbestfriend!Ellie, Ellie is just all around a piece of shit in this one idk, oral (r!receiving), mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed, Usage of the word slut, slight degradation, there’s a brief scene with reader and Jesse but they aren’t flirting I promise Ellie is just delusional, pls lmk if I missed anything!
“Please honeybee? It’ll only be for a little while. Your father and I will be back before you know it, just in time for you to go back with your friends” your mothers voice rang through the phone, her tone gentle and reassuring as she spoke to you.
You exhaled loudly in annoyance, toying with the hem of your sleep shorts as you laid in your bed, a soft pout on your face as you stayed silent for a moment, contemplating your mother’s wish.
“Baby? Are you there?” She tried. You can practically hear the way she bites her lip, chewing on the skin as she awaited your response.
“I….you do realize that Derek is the oldest sibling, right? Isn’t he supposed to be the one making sure I’m not getting in trouble?” You huff out, still holding out on giving her an answer to her request of you.
You hear her sigh over the line at the mention of your older brother. “I know sweetheart…but your father and I just need you to make sure he doesn’t burn the house down while we’re away. I’m sure it’ll only be him and Ellie there anyways” she tries assuring you.
But the mention of the girls name has your skin running cold.
It makes you pinch the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply as you truly try to outweigh your options at hand.
Your brother was a fucking moron, and you knew that the minute he heard your parents were going away for the summer, he jumped at the opportunity to ‘house sit’. It was almost comedic how clueless he was, your parents knowing your older sibling far too well to know that he’d tear the house down brick by brick unsupervised, especially with his partner in crime there with him.
So it left your poor mother to ask her baby (you), to stay the summer at their house, just to make sure things didn’t get too out of hand.
The minute she called and asked you to go down there, your entire summer had changed. All of the plans you made with your friends at university, the trips you were to make with them, all suddenly fizzled out as you were faced with the task to spend the summer with your idiotic brother and his bully of a best friend.
As much as you wanted to say no, tell your parents to figure it out or simply tell your brother he couldn’t stay there for his break, you simply couldn’t find it in yourself to do that. Your parents were amazing to say the least, and the one time they actually chose to go away for the summer in one of the first times since you were born, you’d feel like an absolute villain to take that away from them.
You let out a low sigh before you finally spoke. “I’ll be there mom….you won’t have to worry about anything” you assured her, the sound of her sighing in relief putting a gentle smile on your face.
“Oh baby you are an angel. Your father and will come home as soon as we can, okay?” She assures you, to which you give a gentle chuckle before you nod.
“Have fun, okay? Tell daddy I said hi…I love you” you mumble out gently through the phone, bidding your goodbye to the woman before you hang up, letting out a loud sigh you’d seemingly been holding from the moment your mother asked you to go back home for the summer.
And as you stared up at your ceiling, you began to really think about it all. How bad could it possibly be?? It wasn’t like you were all kids still, there was no way Ellie and your brother would torment you the same way they used to when you were all younger, not when you were all adults in college, right?
Right?
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You let out a soft sigh as you drove down the familiar road to your parents house, the street quiet as everyone there had similar situations to your mother and father, empty nesters who had time to get away for the summer.
Pulling into the driveway gives you a bit of relief, as you notice your brother hadn’t gotten there yet, which you could only chalk up to him and Ellie waking up entirely too late after a night of partying to get to the house at a decent time.
Some things just never changed do they?
Your brother and Ellie had been friends since elementary school, the two of them glued at the hip for almost as long as you could remember. While you really couldn’t stand the two of them, you had to say the perseverance of their friendship was kind of remarkable. You couldn’t take their bond away from them, no one could.
One day the house was only filled with your parents and your older sibling, the next there’s an extra person.
Ellie.
Things were fine in the beginning, the three of you would actually play all together for the most part. Sure, they would tease you and leave you out of certain things, but that’s what older siblings did. You were no stranger to the little sister treatment.
Things changed when they got to high school though.
The two of them started a year before you obviously, leaving you behind in middle school. You’d been through it with the transition from elementary to middle school, so you weren’t too worried. In fact, having the two of them enrolled before you was comforting in a way. It at least gave you a sense of belonging since you knew at least two people there.
But oh were you wrong.
Because in true teenage boy fashion, who the hell would want their little sister trailing behind them? No your brother and Ellie were far too cool for that, the two of them already the talk of the entire school, everyone wanting to be their friend. It was always like that, the dynamic duo absolutely stealing the hearts of everyone around them. They simply couldn’t have you asking for help on where your classes were, or even worse, having you eat lunch with them.
You weren’t even given the cold shoulder, they were just outright mean. Your brother wasn’t so bad, brushing you off and telling you to go somewhere else.
But Ellie? Oh she was vile.
She’d say the meanest things to get you to leave, laughing under her breath whenever you’d pass by, she’d even go out of her way to make her entire friend group ignore you for a week, pretending you didn’t exist at all.
Yeah, high school is when things got really bad.
You have up on keeping the familiar sibling bond you had with your brother rather quickly during your time in high school with him, ignoring the both of them when they were around, only really interacting with him whenever Ellie wasn’t with him, which was extremely rare.
Soon, you were going off to university, and you were able to live a life that wasn’t in your cool older brother’s shadow. You were able to be you, and thrive in a way that you really weren’t able to before.
You loved college for that.
But now you were back home where it all started, without the protection of mommy and daddy on top of that too.
You groaned softly as you finally brought the last of your things up to your room, sighing softly as you looked around at the familiar space, thinking about just how much time you’d be spending there for the next month and however many weeks.
You were almost done filling your empty drawers with your clothes when you heard the familiar roar of your brother’s black Jeep pull up the driveway outside, a familiar brunette sat in the passenger seat.
The plan was to steer clear of them entirely while you were all there. You were only there for your moms peace of mind, and you truthfully did not care what Ellie and your brother got up to for the summer, as long as it meant your parents house stayed in tact.
However once you’re finished packing and you decide to make your way downstairs to get a feel for things before they both arrive (or so you thought), you were only met with the sound of your brother and Ellie complaining very loudly as they walk in through the front door.
“I told you I don’t know! My dad said it was cool if we crashed here, they didn’t mention anything about her being here too.” Derek groans loudly, lugging his suitcase in behind him, unknowing of your presence stood in the very kitchen that he was walking in to.
You turn your head to catch the two of them walking in, your brother sighing in defeat as Ellie groans loudly behind him, throwing her head back in annoyance. “Do you know how much of a fuckin’ cock block she’s gonna be? I swear to god if she tries to so much as complain about the shit we’re having I’m gonna-“ you watch as your brother jabs his elbow into Ellie’s side, trying to get her to shut up once he spots you in the kitchen.
You roll your eyes as you close the fridge door shut. “It’s nice to see you too Ellie” you sigh out softly as you turn around, resting your forearms against the island counter top, leaning your hips against the edge as you watch the both of them eye you expectantly, your best guess being they wanted an explanation.
“What are you doing here?” Your brother mumbles out awkwardly, arms crossing over his chest as he gives neglects to even greet you properly.
You sigh softly before you shrug. “Mom called me and asked me to make sure you guys didn’t do anything stupid. Trust me, I’m just as upset as you are that I’m here” you mumble out, eyes casting downwards as your fingers trace along the pattern of the smooth counter top.
Ellie scoffs softly, mimicking your brother’s stance as her tattooed arms go to cross over her chest as well. “Is this some kind of sick joke? What are you even supposed to do anyways? Keep us in line or something?” Ellie barks out, obviously annoyed and wounded over the fact that your parents didn’t trust her.
You have to hold back a laugh, biting down on your bottom lip as you give her a shrug. “That’s something you gotta take up with the owner of the house, which unfortunately for you is not my brother” you hum out, your tone a tad playful as you give your brother a knowing look before rounding the table.
“Your summer is gonna be fine. In all honesty I couldn’t give a single fuck what you two do, just do it without breaking anything.” you explain, your tone softer as you eye Ellie for a moment.
You had to bite back a smirk when you caught a glimpse of their faces. Your brother was shocked with the way you were acting, his eyebrows raised and jaw slightly agape as you made your way upstairs.
Ellie on the other hand? She looked like she wanted to kill someone. Here you were, her best friends little sister, practically granting her entire summer a death sentence by your presence, at least that’s what it felt like. Her eyebrows were furrowed, nostrils flared, and you swore you could even catch her freckled cheeks growing pink with the anger that bubbled up inside of her.
And to be quite honest? It felt good.
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Ellie was being ruthless
While you couldn’t say you didn’t expect it, you didn’t think it would be this bad. You of course knew that they’d be upset about you being there, but your brother’s reaction to the entire thing was much closer to what you prepared for than what Ellie was exhibiting. He was confused to say the least, but that didn’t mean he was rude to you. It was the same as any other time you and your brother were with each other, you weren’t close by any means, but you were his little sister.
Ellie on the other hand? She was like a bat out of hell.
You thought when they first got there, that would be the only time you’d get a taste of Ellie’s annoyance with your presence. You were adults after all, and there was no way she’d make your entire stay there a living hell, even when you weren’t the one that had the bright idea of staying there anyways.
Oh were you wrong.
That same night, you decided to make somewhat of a peace offering. You were honest in your words to them earlier, you didn’t have any interest in raining on their parade. Ruining their summer did little to nothing for you, even if they went out of their way to taunt and tease you when you were a kid, you didn’t dwell on any of that.
You prided yourself as somewhat of a good cook. You took over meals once you were old enough to stand at the stove without your parents doting over you, begging you to not burn yourself. Once you passed that hurdle, you all came to the realization that you were pretty good in the kitchen. You could even recall certain times where Ellie and your brother would ask you to make something for them, further proving your skills.
So while they were both in the front yard playing basketball, you knew they’d work up an appetite once they came inside. You took it upon yourself to start working on something with what your parents had in the fridge.
You were far too lost in thought once you got into it, humming softly to yourself as you stirred up what you were working on in a pan. You barely heard your brother and Ellie walk in together, chucking to each other at something Ellie was saying. The two were engulfed in the aroma of your yummy cooking the second they walked in, watching as you worked your way around the kitchen to cook something up for the two of them.
“You cooked?” Your brother asks curiously, moving to rest his forearms on the island as he watched you.
You hummed softly as you nodded, keeping your eyes on the various pots on the stove. “There wasn’t much in the fridge, so I’ll have to go food shopping tomorrow maybe…but I figured you’d both be hungry” you finally turn around, giving them both a half smile.
Your brother nodded, seemingly opening his mouth to thank you for the kind gesture, his stomach already grumbling for a taste of whatever it was that you were cooking, all of it smelling ten times better than anything he’d been eating for the past two years at college.
But Ellie was quick to cut him off, eyebrows furrowed as she gave you a death stare so intense, it was a miracle you hadn’t keeled over from it alone.
“We’re going out to eat” she deadpanned, her tone firm and harsh.
It makes you turn around fully after lowering all the spots on the stove, grabbing the kitchen towel you kept nearby and drying your hands off, your hips resting against the kitchen counter as you watched them.
Your brother frowned as he looked up at Ellie in confusion, the man clearly not have gotten the memo.
“We…are?….but you were just saying how tired-“ He mumbled out softly before Ellie landed a hard jab to his side with her elbow, making your brother quickly shut his mouth, getting her message loud and clear.
Ellie didn’t want anything from you.
You inhaled deeply, fighting back the urge to stoop down to her level, no matter how much it stung that she was doing this out of spite, simply over something that was asked of you.
“That’s…that’s fine. I hope you guys have fun” you gave them a nod and a soft smile before you turned around to continue working on the food that you’d be eating alone.
Ellie’s angry expression softened into a frown when you didn’t fight back, fully expecting you blow up and make her seem like the victim who’s getting her summer ruined by some fucking she-demon or something. But you didn’t, you simply bid them a good time and turned around to busy yourself with whatever you were doing.
Your brother frowned as he watched you turn around, already feeling bad for not only leaving you alone for the night, but making you eat alone felt even worse.
But Ellie was already scoffing, mumbling softly to your brother to come upstairs with her so they could get changed and leave so they could get something to eat, her eyes lingering on you angrily as she stomped upstairs like a child.
You spent that night alone, eating your dinner with a glass of wine, showering and watching a movie downstairs, silently hoping the pair would have a change of heart and walk through to spend the night with you, acting as a way to kick off the summer on a better note than it was already starting off on.
But they never did. You ended up doing all of that and more and they still didn’t get home. You decided to simply send your brother a quick text letting them know you’d leave the porch light on and to get home safe before you went to bed.
That wasn’t the end of Ellie’s little scheme of being terrible to you. No, that was honestly only the beginning.
The second time of her being mean was about a week later. You managed to stay clear of the both of them for a few days, busying yourself with getting the house situated for yours, Ellie and your brothers stay. You got a good amount of things done, groceries, laundry, getting your car through the car wash. You even picked up a dozen bagels from yours and your brother’s favorite bakery in the city nearby, knowing how much him and Ellie would appreciate them for breakfast, even if you knew she’d bitch once she knew you bought them.
But once all of those chores were done, you found that you’d started to run out of things to keep you occupied. There was no more laundry to do, no more groceries to buy, nothing more for you to tend to that would keep you away from the house.
You were bored out of your mind.
You sighed softly as you laid in your bed, staring up at your ceiling as you toyed with the hem of your denim shorts. You were contemplating what to do, how to entertain yourself in the confides of your bedroom. It was hard because Ellie and Derek spent almost all of their time in the living room, leaving you to either do things outside of the house, or stay in your room.
It made you sad, because you wouldn’t have this problem had you stayed at Uni. You would’ve been outside with your friends, at parties, restaurants, bars. Anything that there was to offer in the city, you’d be there.
Another huff passed through your lips, your arms moving down to rest against your pillow. You were beginning to get desperate, your mind void of any ideas to keep yourself occupied.
You sat up, looking towards your door for a moment before you looked back down at your hands in your lap, your mind falling deep in thought before you finally let out a sigh. You felt ridiculous, forcing yourself to be a prisoner in your own home for your own comfort. Ellie didn’t even fucking live here, this was your parents house and you deserved to walk around as you pleased!
So you finally tossed your legs over the edge of your bed, and opened your door to go downstairs.
The second your room door was open, you could hear Derek and Ellie downstairs, the two of them laughing and shouting at each other. As you walked down the stairs, you could hear the sounds of their video game playing through the speakers, paired with the sound of their fingers harshly clicking down on the buttons of their game controllers.
Video games sounded fun.
You hummed softly as you watched them from the bottom of the stairs for a moment before you walked into the living room, simply watching the two hunched over, completely locked in on their current match.
“Don’t fuckin’ push by yourself you’re gonna die. Lemme just heal really quick” you hear Ellie groan out to your brother.
“I’m good! I’m good I got this” your brothers words follow, a blanket of silence falls between the two of them, only to hear your brother and Ellie groan loudly in unison, followed by Ellie sucking her teeth in annoyance.
“I told you not to fucking-“ her words are cut short when she notices you in the corner of her eye, the girl deflating as she slouches back into the couch, her eyes back on the screen.
“Great…” she mumbles out, which you try your best to ignore before taking a spot on the opposite end of the couch, tucking your legs underneath yourself as you nod towards the tv.
“How many have you guys won so far?” You hum out softly.
Your brother’s eyes don’t leave the tv screen as he responds, fingers already clicking away at his controller the second Ellie managed to resurrect him in the game. “A good amount…especially when Ellie’s here to save my ass” he grins out, which earns an annoyed sigh from Ellie.
You hum softly as you nod, watching as their characters run around on the split screen, the two of them looting and taking out other players as the number of people in the game grows lower and lower, waiting until the game was almost over.
“Could you guys use a third?” You ask softly after clearing your throat, eyes still glued to the screen as you watch them play.
Derek licks his lips as he continues playing, his eyes quickly shifting over to Ellie for a moment to gauge her reaction to your question before he responds.
You and him would play video games all the time together, and there were even times where all three of you would play together. Sure, they’d do petty shit like leave your character in the storm to die when you needed help or made sure your controller was close to dying, but they’d at least let you play from time to time.
However, Ellie was quick to speak up and give you a response.
“No. You’re shit at this game” Ellie quickly responds, pink tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrates on the game.
While you can tell she’s not joking, her words make your brother chuckle softly as he gives her a gentle nudge. “I’m sure one game is fine? Watching her play will be kind of funny to be honest” he tried, yet Ellie wouldn’t budge.
She shook her head firmly. “Nah. She’s gonna fuck up our winning streak. Weren’t you upstairs anyway? Why did you even come down here….go back up” her eyes finally break away from the screen once the game was finished, looking over at you and nodding her head up towards the stairs.
And while Ellie would sometimes chase you away when she was over, it was always in good fun. Sure she was a dick to you but this?
This was so different.
It makes you choke up a bit, eyes widening at her words before you look at your brother, silently begging for him to defend you from the girls mean words.
But he doesn’t, he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes and grabbing his own phone to scroll through it so he wouldn’t have to be put into the awkward situation of getting between his sister and his best friend.
It makes you inhale deeply before you silently get up from the couch, slip past the two of them, and make your way back upstairs like Ellie told you to, your throat burning with hot tears as you tried your best to hide them from the pair on the couch.
Your brother finally looked up when you slipped passed the two of them, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he eyed Ellie. “I know she’s annoying but…that was kind of fucked up man” he mumbles out softly, his eyes lingering on Ellie for a moment only to watch her shrug, her eyes never leaving the screen.
“Shut up. She wouldn’t leave unless I was mean…” she mumbled out nonchalantly, which makes your brother sigh softly, turning his head back to the screen and starting another game.
You realized that this wasn’t a game. This was Ellie being awful to you for the sole fact that you were staying there and being a ‘cock block’, and in her book? That was more than enough of a reason to take her anger out on you.
It made you take one look at your bedroom when you finally got upstairs, tears in your eyes, when you realized that you had to get quite comfortable there, seeing as you’d be spending far more time locked up than you thought you would have.
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You managed to avoid Ellie and your brother for the remainder of the week, for real this time. You had no interest in being around them or spending any time with them, not since Ellie made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with you, and you were the bane of her very existence.
You decided that they could spend their summer like they wanted to, without you there.
Any time you needed something from downstairs, you’d either go and get it extremely early in the morning or late enough at night so that they wouldn’t be there, which was hard sometimes since they’d spend almost the entire night downstairs, drinking beers and eating snacks until they were too tired to go in anymore.
Tonight was different though.
Because tonight was the first Saturday of the summer, which meant anyone and everyone was looking towards your brother and Ellie for a party to kick things off. You knew they’d do it of course, but you knew it was actually happening once you could hear the faint noise of the two of them setting up downstairs, paired with the roaring sound of your brothers Jeep pulling in and out of the driveway, making multiple runs to the store for last minutes things for the party.
And your plan for the night? You were going to shower early to avoid any awkward drunk run-ins, take a melatonin, lock your room door, and fall asleep with your noise canceling headphones underneath a mountain of blankets. While it would be nice to let loose and party for a night, you wouldn’t dare even ask them if you could attend, already knowing Ellie would have quite the mean words in store if you tried that.
On the bright side, this all meant you were responsible for the clean up in the morning.
You let out a soft sigh as you tugged on a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized t shirt, moving to grab your bottle of melatonin gummies before you moved to sit on the bed, wanting to wind down a bit before bed.
Right as you were about to take your vitamin and lock your door though, you heard a gentle knock, making you frown as you looked over at it. Surly the party hadn’t started yet? Did you seriously have to put a note on your door to alert drunk idiots that your room was off limits for hook ups?
You frowned before calling out. “Go away! There are other rooms!” You called out loud enough, hoping that whoever was on the other side would get the memo.
Instead, you hear the knob turn, the door creaking open as your brother peaks his head in, making you sigh in relief.
“Oh…I thought you were some idiot party-goer” you explain as you scrunch your nose at the mere thought of it before you unscrew the top to your bottle. “What are you doing here? You have a party to host” you explain before you look up at him, only to find his eyes wandering your bedroom before he shrugs.
“Wanted to check on you…make sure you’re okay” he explains before he finally looks down at you, nodding towards the bottle of melatonin in your hand. “Going to bed already?” He asks, which you nod to.
“Yup…trying to get a heard start before the noise sets in” you hum out softly before you bring one of the gummies to your lips.
Your brother quickly speaks up before you can take it. “You should come down…for a little bit. It’ll be fun” he quickly gets out before you eat it. He knew the moment you took it, you’d be lulled away to sleep, and there was no chance in him reconciling with you tonight.
Because in all honesty, he felt horrible for the way Ellie had been treating you. Not only did he fear you’d tell your parents (he knew you wouldn’t), but he also felt like he was being a shit big brother for not standing up for you, even if he knew that you knew it was a tricky situation since Ellie was his best friend.
Your shoulders slump at his words, giving your brother an unamused look.
“Your friend wouldn’t even let me play video games with you. Do you seriously think she’d allow me to come down tonight l?” You groan out softly before you shake your head, bringing the gummy to your lips once again. “I’m gonna go to bed. I don’t have time for either of you” you sigh softly.
Your eyes widen when your brother steps forward and slaps the gummy from your hand. “What the hell Derek??” You shriek out, which only makes him groan in annoyance.
“It’ll be fun! And Ellie will be too drunk or high or both to even notice you’re there…” he whines out like a child, which makes you roll your eyes.
A blanket of silence falls between the both of you as you think about it, weighing out the pros and the cons of going downstairs and joining everyone, risking the chance of Ellie blowing up on you the second she sees you there, assuming you’re attending for the sole purpose of shutting down her fun.
Derek sighs softly as he moves to sit down next to you on your bed. “I’ve been a shitty older brother…and you deserve to have fun this summer too” he hums out softly before he leans over, nudging your shoulder gently with his.
“Come on…it’ll be fun” he urges once more, and it reminds you of when you were both kids, your brother slowly turning into the person that you recognized rather than the person he was whenever he was around Ellie or his other friends.
You finally sigh out softly before looking over at him, giving him a slight nod. “I’ll change and come down once I hear the music start playing…I’m sure that gives her enough time to get her drunk goggles on” you hum out playfully as you refer to Ellie.
Your brother smiles brightly, his mimicking your own before he nods. “You’re gonna have fun” he affirms once more before he gets up to leave your bedroom, closing the door behind him so he could get downstairs and finish setting up.
A soft sigh leaves your lips as you look down at your clothes, frowning at the faded band t shirt paired with the frayed ends of your old sleep shorts.
You needed to change.
It wasn’t long until you could hear the faint sound of the loud music booming through the house, paired with the various cars that slowly started piling up in your driveway and along the side of the ride in front of your house, the party guests making their way to your place like clockwork.
You had changed into a pair of baggy blue jeans that hung low on your waist, and a simple white tank top hugged your curves in a way that looked like you put in way more effort that you actually did, wanting to keep things comfortable enough that you could slip out of it the second you wanted to dessert the place for the safe haven that was your bedroom.
The party was in fully swing by the time you made your way downstairs, a person filling up everyone single space as music blasted loudly throughout the entire place. You inhaled deeply, slipping past the growing sea of people to get to the kitchen, and get a drink.
Your eyes scanned the space as you stayed leaned up against the counter, red solo cup pressed against your lips as you babysat the mixture of liquid and soda, people watching as everyone around you became acquainted with one another, your drink making you grow warmer and warmer with each passing second.
Like a stroke of luck, you catch an empty spot on the once full couch. It makes you sigh in relief, once again slipping past the bodies in your house to catch it before someone else does, which you thankfully do. You plop down onto it, bringing your cup to your lips as you rest your head against the back of the couch.
You didn’t even realize how drunk you were until Jesse, one of your brother’s old friends plops down next to you with a loud sigh. The second he was next to you, the strong smell of weed was filling up your lungs, you swore you felt the tiniest bit high from the smell alone.
“If I so much as smell a blunt, your tv is gonna grow legs and start walking away” he groaned out, making you stifle a laugh.
The sound catches his attention, the man turning his head to look at you, his hazy expression slowly tugging into a smile.
“Nooo way. I remember you! You’re Derek’s little sister” he gasps out, which makes you hold back a laugh before you nod.
“I am in fact his sister” you confirm.
To be frankly honest, you’d known Jesse since high school. He was pretty close with Ellie and Derek, he was actually the only one out of the group of gremlins that was actually kind to you whenever they were all around. However he was currently so far gone, he could barely remember that you two already knew each other.
“Maaan I haven’t seen you in so long! He didn’t tell me you’d be here” he chuckles softly, bringing his hands to his face as he groans softly.
“I’m…I’m sorry I’m so high right now. I can barely think” he apologizes, the man visibly melting into the couch as he lets his hands fall down beside him, staring off into space.
You giggle softly as you shake your head, bringing your cup to your lips as you take another sip of your drink. “You’re fine Jesse…the companies nice” you nod before you rest your head back against the back of the couch, allowing Jesse to carry on with his belligerent complaints.
You were so consumed with Jesse’s rather entertaining word vomit, that you barely noticed a certain someone eyeing you from the other side of the couch.
Ellie had been there the entire time, too high and too drunk (like your brother said she’d be) to even notice you had taken a spot at the end of the couch. It also didn’t help that she had her current summer fling splayed across her lap, her lips pressed to the girls mouth as they practically swallowed each other’s faces whole.
And she wouldn’t have noticed you either, had it not been for the familiar sound of your giggle ringing through her ear, barely audible over the sound of the loud music booming through the house.
At first she thought she was hearing things, ignoring the noise and carrying on with working her tongue against the girl’s against her. However the second time she heard it, it was paired with a low groan that she could only recognize as Jesse’s, and once she heard that? She had no choice but to break her lips away from the girls, instead allowing her to work her lips against her neck.
The image of your head resting against the back of the couch, looking up at Jesse as his face seemingly lays inches away from yours, your eyes twinkling in the dim light of the room, the edge of your solo cup resting against your pouty bottom lip as you listen intently at whatever Jesse is saying…
Makes Ellie want to punch a fucking hole in the wall.
Because what the fuck is Jesse doing talking to Derek’s little sister? Why the fuck does he think it’s okay to make you laugh that way when everyone knows you’re off limits? The unspoken rule being something everyone had to follow…
No matter how pretty you got as you grew up.
Ellie suddenly can’t pay any attention to the pretty girl on her lap, her grip on the girls hips tightening with anger as she watches you smile lazily at Jesse, the drink in your cup clearly making you far too soft and pliable to be talking to someone like Jesse.
There’s suddenly a fire burning in her, one that begs for you to look up and see what she’s doing, see that she has a girl on her lap that isn’t you. She wants you to see her kissing the girl, gripping her hips and positioning her however she pleases.
Ellie feels the need to make you jealous
But you never do. Ellie watches the both of you for what feels like an eternity, and you don’t once look up and lock eyes for her, not even for a second. She’s sure you’re obvious to the fact that she’s even there, far too consumed with whatever the fuck it was that Jesse was telling you, which couldn’t be anything good of course, it was Jesse of all people.
The girl on her lap is getting antsy, tugging at the bottom of Ellie’s shirt, slipping her hand underneath it to run along the skin of her hips, lips itching up her skin to get back to Ellie’s mouth, anything to have the attention that has suddenly been locked into something else.
Ellie doesn’t budge of course, her stone cold gaze stuck on you across the chair, a few feet away from her as Jesse chats you up,
She doesn’t even know why she’s staring. She can’t pin point why seeing you do something as simple as talk to someone else makes her blood boil to the point where she feels fucking light headed. All she knows is that she can’t take her eyes off of you, not when your attention is so dead set on someone else.
The girl on Ellie’s neck whines softly, her hand coming up to grip Ellie’s chin, pulling her down to finally lock lips with her. It makes Ellie groan, and to the girl it probably sounded like a groan of approval, a sign that Ellie liked that she was taking what she wanted from her. In reality, it was Ellie being fucking annoyed.
Ellie kisses her hard, trying her best to shut her up and keep her satisfied so she can break away and keep an eye on you.
You sigh softly, lifting your head a bit to turn and look down into your cup, noticing it had become empty in the span of talking to Jesse. While doing that, you realized how drunk you had gotten from the drink you made, a lazy giggle leaving your lips as you shook your head towards Jesse.
“I’m…way too drunk…I need to go to bed” you sigh out, resting your hand Jesse’s thigh as you give him a gentle pat. “Try to sober up before you go home if you do end up leaving….was nice seeing you Jesse” you smile at him, only receiving a soft groan of agony before he lazily waved you off, making you giggle softly before you got up off the couch, stumbling a bit before making your way around it to go upstairs.
As you round the corner, oblivious to Ellie’s presence, you don’t at all notice the way her eyes trail your path even as her lips work angrily against the girl in her lap.
Or the way she breaks the kiss once you’re out of view, pushing the girl off her lap as her legs begin carrying her up to follow you. “I’ll be right back…” she mumbles out to the girl, completely ignoring the way she scoffs once she realizes Ellie was following another girl.
She slips past the crowd of people as she trails close behind you, watching as you fail to even realize the way certain eyes follow your path, eyes that don’t belong to her, eyes that have filthy thoughts behind them, only fueling her anger further.
It’s like a shark stalking their prey. You’re a dumb, innocent little fish with not a care in the world, happily swimming around other little seat creatures as an apex predator slowly sticks onto your tail, following you to your demise. You’re bouncing around, giggling softly as you stumble over your own feet, so stupid from the liquor you had, you’d barely even noticed Ellie was following you.
Soon, you’re up the stairs and in front of your bedroom door. You reached up, standing on your toes to get to the little key you left on the top of your door after you locked it before going downstairs, ensuring no one would so much as think to use your bed as a hook up station.
You opened it up, sighing softly as you closed it behind you, moving over to your drawer to grab the pajamas you had folded earlier, wanting nothing more to change into them and get some much needed sleep now that the alcohol had settled in and warmed up your entire system.
Ellie hears you humming softly to yourself as she opens up your door. She isn’t even entirely sure what her motive is with this, why she felt the need to follow you all the way up to your room, and to on top of that walk in. It wasn’t like you were in any sort of danger, you weren’t out on the street late at night all alone, or even at a party at a strangers house. You were a smart girl, even going as far as to lock your door before and after leaving to go downstairs.
Not smart enough to lock it before Ellie could come in though.
You frown softly when you hear your door open, fully prepared to start screaming for your brother the second some creep tried to come in to your room.
You don’t have to though, because the second you realize that it’s Ellie standing at your door and not some fucking weirdo, you let out a small sigh of relief.
Which quickly turns into panic once you realize that it’s Ellie standing in your doorway.
“Ellie? What are you doing here?” You question the girl, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you let out a soft sigh.
You can hear it already, the way Ellie is gearing up to degrade and berate you for even thinking it was okay to come out of your room and down to the party. You mentally prepare yourself for the nasty things she’ll say, for the way she’ll go above and beyond to ensure you never even think to come down and attend another one of hers and your brothers parties ever again.
But she doesn’t speak, not immediately at least.
You watch as she crosses her arms over her chest, tattooed forearms making her look all the more intimidating. Her eyes roam your bedroom as she slowly steps in to take in more of the space after she closes your door behind her.
“It’s nice in here…you should’ve stayed put…would have worked out better for you” she hums out, her tone a bit too casual for the bite that her words manage to get out of you.
It makes you sigh softly, bringing your hand up to rub against your forehead before you speak up. “It was Derek’s idea, okay? And I was barely even down there. I didn’t even talk to anyone” you explain to the girl.
She raises her eyebrows, green eyes settling on you as she watches you in surprise.
“Didn’t talk to anyone hm? Then what the fuck were you doing with Jesse? Huh?” She barks out, the level of her voice making you flinch.
If you were confused before, this has you in shambles. Your frown deepens as your eyebrows furrow, watching the girl before you quickly speak up to defend yourself.
“With Jesse? Ellie I…we talked for maybe thirty minutes? And all he was telling me was how much he was greening out I…are you serious right now??” You shriek out, watching as the girl slowly made her way towards you.
She ignores your explanation. “Do you know how fucking desperate you look? Clinging on to mine and Derek’s friends?” She spits out, her tone growing angrier and more vile with each word she utters.
And she’s getting closer to you the more she speaks too.
“It’s fuckin’ pathetic. You’re fucking pathetic. Don’t you get tired of this? Isn’t this boring to you?” She questions, tone dripping with annoyance and anger as she keeps going, keeps pushing you.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen her like this. She’s fuming with something you don’t recognize and it makes your eyes widen, lips parting slightly as you try to find the words to say before they quickly close once she continues on with her nasty words.
That’s wide eyed look on your face lights a fire under Ellie that tells her to keep going.
She’s right in front of you now, her nose inches away from yours as she lets out an unamused chuckle, a soft smirk on her face.
“You’re such a fucking slut…you know that? Begging for attention from your brother’s friends….” She hums out softly, her pink tongue slipping out of her mouth to wet her lips slowly. You can barely stop yourself from your eyes shifting down to watch the way she does it, only earning a soft chuckle from the girl.
“Did you go to him because you saw I was busy baby? Is that it?” Her tone is still taunting you, but it’s softer, her voice barely above a whisper.
Suddenly you feel her strong hands snake their way around your waist, pulling you slowly but harshly against her body, making you gasp softly at the sudden and foreign feeling of her body pressed against yours, all of it consuming you too much to even register what it was she was accusing you of.
Her eyes are taking in your features. Your eyes, your nose, your lips, as if she were silently begging you for something you couldn’t completely give her, something more.
“If you wanted me, all you had to do was ask” she sighs out softly.
And it’s like you aren’t even there anymore, because once she says that, her lips are pressed against yours in a hot, needy kiss.
Your eyes widened at the feeling of her lips on yours. For a minute you even questioned if you were dreaming, because surly there was no world where this would be happening, one in which Ellie would be kissing you.
You gasped out softly, trying to break away from the girl to ask what exactly it was that she was doing, but she only takes this as an advantage to slip her tongue into your mouth.
The feeling of her wet tongue against yours has you melting, your eyes fluttering shut as suddenly any and all questions and concerns you previously had disappear from your head, the only thought present being how good it felt to have Ellie kissing you.
You finally get a moment to speak when you feel Ellie break the kiss so that her lips could trail down your throat, licking and sucking your skin as her hands grip your hips tightly, fingers rubbing against the exposed skin between the hem of your shirt and the top of your jeans.
“Ellie…what are you…” you manage to get out between moans, enjoying the feeling of the means girls lips against your throat far too much.
“Shut up…just shut the fuck up…” her words are muffled against your skin.
You can feel her walking you back towards your bed, allowing her to push you back onto it and crawl over your body once you’re both there. That’s when her lips attach themselves back onto yours, her hand coming down to skillfully unbutton your jeans, which gives her a chance to cup your pussy, feeling your arousal soaked panties.
She smirks against your lips, the pads of her fingers pressing against your clothed clit as she gives you a hum of approval.
“Wet already? Over one little kiss? God that’s pathetic…” she chuckles out softly as she degrades you for it, which somehow only sends more warmth shooting down your core.
“It’s alright baby…I’ll take care of you..” she hums softly against your lips before she starts kissing down your body.
Her lips swirl your nipples over the fabric of your tank top, the material growing wet with her saliva. It’s strange because the feeling is almost more erotic than if she were to do it with your top off. Maybe it’s how eager she is for it? For whatever it was she was planning on doing to you?
You had no idea. But you knew it felt good.
She does this until she’s settled between your legs, your denim jeans already long gone, her eyes zeroed in on the growing damp spot on your panties. You’re propped up on your elbows, watching closely as the girl who you were convinced hated you, stares down at your pussy like it’s her last fucking meal.
“You’re soaked baby…fuck…” she sighs out, her tattooed hand coming up to slowly run her index and middle fingers along your slit, the feeling alone making you gasp out before moaning for her.
That makes Ellie smirk, her stormy green eyes flickering up to catch your expressions as her fingers circle your clit slowly. “Yeah? You like that don’t you pretty girl…you want more?” She questions, her voice so soft and sweet, yet dripping with the urge to tease and humiliate you.
It was so confusing, because you didn’t know what it was that you wanted. You’d grown to view Ellie as someone who disliked you, deeply in fact. You always saw her as a figure of hate and annoyance towards you rather than someone who could ever in their wildest dreams be in this current situation with you.
But it felt so good, it felt so fucking right to have her settled between your legs, her fingers circling your clit slowly, making your head spin, making you feel so dizzy you felt like you’d cry if your aching pussy didn’t have some form of attention from her.
“Answer me…” she practically growls out when you take too long to respond, her dark eyes growing even darker as she awaits your confirmation.
Her tone along breaks you out of your thoughts, and before you can even think all of this through, consider the consequences that will follow a drunk hook up with Ellie?…
You’re nodding like a fucking bobble head.
“Want it so bad Ellie…please….please touch me” you practically beg, hips bucking for the attention you craved.
You didn’t even for a second stop to think what her motives were. Ellie was mean, and she could be really fucking mean when she wanted to. Who’s to say this wasn’t all a sick joke? One that she’d laugh at hysterically just to get you to say you wanted her, weaponizing the way you begged for her in any instance she could use to keep you in line.
“Good girl…relax baby…I’ll make you feel real good..” she hums out, her gentle words tugging you away from your intrusive thoughts.
Her fingers tug your panties to the side, an audible groan rumbling from her chest as she finally gets a glimpse as your soaked core.
“Fuckin’ look at that…pussy’s practically drooling for me baby…Jesus” she sighs out softly.
For a moment, you think she’s going to leave. Because in the dim light of your bedroom, you watch as she pushes her fingers into her mouth. You watch her with a confused frown as you hear a small click, paired with a gentle buzzing sound.
But once Ellie finally latches her mouth to your pussy, you can feel the foreign feeling of a tiny ball in the middle of her tongue vibrating against your clit.
You don’t even have time to fully register what the actual fuck is going on, a loud gasp leaving your mouth as your eyes go wide for a moment before they flutter shut.
Ellie had a vibrating fucking tongue ring
The feeling has you moaning loudly, your head falling back as your back arches, feeding more of your throbbing cunt into Ellie’s mouth, which only makes her moan loudly against your sensitive core.
“Fuck! Ellie oh my god! Feels…h-huh….feels s’good” you gasp out, words broken up with huffs and moans as you struggle to speak.
You want to kick yourself for not noticing it moment ago when she had her tongue playing against yours, the feeling of the smooth ball lapping against the inside of your mouth, only to begging vibrating once she settled her mouth on your pussy.
She’s just as fucked out as you are when you finally look down at her, her eyes fluttered shut in what could only be viewed as pure bliss as she licks and sucks your pussy like a woman starved. The image alone makes you reach out and tug a fistful of her hair into your hand, keeping her close as your hips began grinding against her face.
“Yeah..right…f-fuck…right there Ellie!” You moan out as her hands come up to hold onto your hips, guiding you, urging you to move harder and faster against her mouth.
Begging you to use her.
Your eyes flutter shut as the familiar feeling begins to settle into your lower half, your legs growing numb, hips getting sore as you chase the high that was growing deliciously close every second Ellie worked her skilled tongue on your pussy.
You aren’t sure you’ve ever felt anything like it. Between Ellie’s fantastic performance with her tongue, and the vibrating tongue ring, your head begins spinning as your orgasm grows closer in an embarrassingly quick amount of time.
“Ellie I…I can’t…you’re gonna…make me…” you warn her, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare down at the girl, only to see her giving you an encouraging nod as she suckles your pussy, making sure the little ball on her tongue is working your clit in the most perfect way so that the vibrations can drive you where you need to go.
That alone has you crying out, back arching almost painfully as you cum hard on the girls tongue.
Sensitivity chases soon after, a soft whine leaving your lips as the girl laps up your arousal, tongue ring still buzzing against your tired cunt, making you shy away from the warmth of her mouth.
She chuckles at that, giving your clit one final kiss before she pulls away and reaches into her mouth to click the tiny machine off.
“Did so good for me baby…took everything that I gave you” she praises you as she crawls up your body, humming softly as her hand comes up to gently hold your face before she kisses you, letting you taste your arousal that lingers on her tongue.
You moan softly into your mouth, head still swirling with a million questions you had for her, all of which she silences with the slow and sensual lapping of her tongue against yours.
She does this as she pushes you back onto your bed, letting you rest against your pillows before she tugs your blanket over both your bodies, her tongue lazily playing with yours as she practically lulls you to sleep with her kisses.
Or so you thought.
Because soon enough, she’s breaking the kiss, crawling off of your body as she tugs the blankets off of hers. You frown as you sit up a bit, watching as she adjusts her hair and her clothes in your mirror, crouching down a bit before she turns to leave your room without another word.
“I…you’re leaving?” You question softly, confusion and exhaustion laced within your words.
Ellie snorts once she turns around, the back of her hand coming up to wipe away anymore of your juices that might have still lingered on her lips.
“You thought I was gonna stay with you? Seriously?” She chuckles out softly before she slowly makes her way back to you, leaning down as she gives you a teasing pout.
“Maybe next time princess…I have someone waiting for me downstairs” she winks at you before she swiftly leaves your bedroom, leaving you there with a shocked look settled on your face.
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andvys · 2 days
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter nineteen ⭐︎ For you, I would ruin myself, a million little times
Warnings: angst, mentions of unrequited love, mentions of loss, insecurities, allusions to depression, mentions of cheating (jancy), sad memories, fluff at the end (with Steve, yes)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: You take a painful road down memory lane and it makes you question everything.
Word count: 10.4k+
⭐︎ as always a special shoutout to @hellfire--cult thanks for plotting and writing with me hehe
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter
“Are you ready to tell me or not?” 
You look up from your plate, still chewing on the pasta that Eddie had cooked, you put down the fork and reach for your pepsi as you look at Max who stares at you with a tilted head, a knowing smile resting on her face. 
You shake your head and furrow your brows at the girl, glancing at Eddie who looks just as confused as you do. 
“Tell you what?” 
Max picks up her garlic bread and shrugs, “about you and Steve and how you’ve been sneaking around behind everyone’s backs,” she says nonchalantly before she takes a bite. 
You nearly choke on your drink, eyes growing wide, matching the ones of Eddie who seems to be just as surprised as you are, he even stopped eating. 
You blink, trying to process her words. 
“W-What?” Is all that you can say as you stare at the redhead, like a deer caught in headlights and with a pounding heart. 
“You know, at first I thought Lucas was crazy for teasing Steve about you and making all those comments about how perfect you two are for each other, especially because Steve always seemed just as annoyed with you as you with him but then he suddenly had different reactions whenever Lucas said something about you and I noticed how red his cheeks got every time he looked at you all lovey dovey,” she holds her finger up, eyes growing wide as she pointing at you to stay quiet, “and then… and then! You both started disappearing at the same time and started whispering to each other, sitting next to each other when it’s something you wouldn’t have done before, not to mention the secret hand holding,” Max laughs, shaking her head at you. 
Your eyes widen at her ‘lovey dovey’ comment, hope that has been rising in you more and more, burning warmly in your chest but Steve doesn’t look at you that way, does he? 
Eddie stares at her, feeling impressed by her observations. 
Just like him, you feel impressed too, shocked and a little nervous but not scared the way you would feel if it were anyone else but her. She can keep a secret and she is like a sister to you – and unfortunately, sisters always know everything and uncover secrets without a struggle.
“I don’t know how the others haven’t figured it out yet, you two are so obvious,” she snorts, picking up her fork again, she stabs her pasta onto it, “just as obvious as my mom and your uncle,” she says to Eddie who shrugs and nods in agreement, “I mean… does anyone actually believe that he’s fixing our fence? The fence is fine! … They go to Enzo’s like every Friday night, by the way.” 
Eddie chuckles and takes a bite of his food, “it’s only a matter of time until you and your mom move in with us.” 
You expect Max to roll her eyes at him but instead she smirks, “yeah, hope you’re ready to become my personal driver.” 
“Am I not your personal driver already?” Eddie snorts. “I mean, you even got two personal drivers, didn’t you both go shopping this morning?” He asks, pointing between you. 
“Yes we did, and we were very successful,” Max nods. 
You aren’t surprised about Susan and Wayne, they’re truly very obvious and now you can’t help but wonder if you and Steve are the same, with the exception that you two aren’t dating… sadly. 
Max looks away from Eddie, returning her gaze back to you, “so when were you gonna tell me that you and Steve are a couple?” 
Eddie coughs, glancing at you sideways as he grimaces when he sees your falling expression. 
“They’re not a couple,” Eddie says for you, noticing the way your eyes sadden and your lips curl downwards at his words. 
Max furrows her brows, tilting her head at you and giving Eddie a look of confusion. 
“What–”
“Yeah, Steve and I are not… dating.” 
The past few weeks have felt like it though, it felt like there was something more between you and him, and after finding out that you have been the only girl for him these past few months, it started feeling even more like it. 
Max stares at you now, eyebrows pulling up and eyes flashing with even more confusion, “but… huh?” 
“They’re just having… uh… fun, Red,” Eddie chuckles awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as he leans back in his seat, “you know… adult fun.” 
You roll your eyes at his choice of words, just the way she does before she gives him a deadpan look. 
“I’m not five, Eddie! I know what they’re doing but that makes no sense!”
“What doesn’t make sense?” You ask and reach for your drink again. 
She looks down bewildered, dropping her fork and waving with her hands as she points at you, “Billy had fun and you know how much fun he had!” 
You chuckle and nod.
“But he never held hands with those girls or looked at them like… like he was in love or something! He had fun and then he moved on to… the next… fun. It’s different with you and Steve though!” 
A sigh falls from your lips and your shoulders slump as you lean back. 
Yeah, of course it’s different with you and Steve, the difference between Billy’s fun and your fun is that he never loved any of the girls he had been with, you on the other hand, are sickly and madly in love with the guy you are having ‘fun’ with and you are pretty certain that Steve doesn’t feel the same, no matter what anyone says. 
Eddie glances at you, waiting for you to say something, to tell her the truth because he knows you will, you don’t seem to feel the need to hide from Max, knowing she won’t run off to her friends and tell them all about it and risking it reaching Steve, Max isn’t like that, especially not when it comes to you.
“It’s not, Max…” You sigh, looking down at your hands. 
She raises her eyebrows again, squinting her eyes at you. 
“So… you’re saying it’s actually just fun?” She asks like she almost wants to chuckle in amusement. 
You sigh again and raise your head again, rolling your eyes, “well… yeah… no, I– fuck… no, no it’s not just fun… not for me.” 
Eddie looks at you sadly, sighing too. 
“And Steve?” 
You shrug, despite the hope in you, you don’t know what he feels, if he even feels anything for you. 
“It’s just… fun… for him?” You mumble, flinching at your own words. 
“Uh… is it?” Max mumbles, not looking or sounding convinced.
“It’s what he said,” Eddie shrugs, rolling his eyes when he thinks back to the night he confronted you both, “and he seemed pretty set on it, he said it just that and nothing more when I found out about it.”
“Mhm.” You nod, hiding your face as you tilt your head down again, not wanting to show more feelings than necessary. “Can we talk about something else now, please?” 
Eddie nods, “sure–”
“No,” Max shakes her head, “I wanna talk about this!” 
“My relationship with Steve isn’t appropriate to discuss with a teenager–”
“Oh, so there is a relationship,” Max interrupts you, giving you a smug smirk. 
“No, there isn’t, you know what I mean!” 
She chuckles and crosses her arms over her chest, continuing to stare at you. 
“So… Do you love him then?”
Your eyeroll is enough of an answer to that question. 
“I knew it,” she murmurs under her breath, “and what about him, you think he doesn’t feel the same?” She asks, thinking that her own question sounds absurd, she saw the way Steve looked at you, multiple times already. 
“I know he doesn’t,” you shrug. 
“Why not?” 
“Because he hated me, Max–”
“Yeah, he obviously hated you so so much, that’s why you’re holding hands now and kissing every time you think no one’s watching! I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t hold hands and kiss my enemy… oh! Or look at them with lovesick smiles and everything!” 
You sigh again, tilting your head back as you look up at the ceiling. 
This isn’t good for you, it really isn’t, you don’t need to be fed with more delusions. 
“I think he feels the same, it’s pretty clear!”
“If it’s so clear then why isn’t it being talked about?” Eddie retorts, not feeling convinced of Max’s words, “why didn’t he say anything to change their relationship yet? I mean, he had no issue talking to his ex-girlfriend about his feelings for her when he knew she was with someone else! Oh and by the way, Nancy cheated on him and left him for someone else and he still confessed his feelings for her again… years later, he knew he would look like an absolute fool – which he did but that didn’t stop him! So what should stop him now, hm? He’s got nothing to lose with her!” Eddie points at you, “she never hurt him, she has no one else that he has to compete against, she fucking loves him! So him confessing his feelings for her wouldn’t ruin anything like it would have with Nancy or Jonathan if they reacted badly to his stupid confession!” 
You close your eyes and take a deep breath, ignoring the stinging in your heart. 
You knew all about his love confession to Nancy – their conversation in the RV was only the first step towards it. You remember the jealousy you felt when he told her about his dream, about the kids and the future he always wished for, you knew who he saw by his side when he talked about it all. To find out that he confessed his love to her in the Upside Down made you feel even worse,  especially when you were still recovering from all your injuries. Robin rambled away about it and told you every detail, you didn’t even ask for. 
Eddie’s words make your heart ache yet again, you know he is right, but they kill your hope a little and you are holding onto it so tightly. 
Max, on the other hand, refuses to agree with him, she squints her eyes at him, leaning closer to the table, “maybe he is scared, Eddie? Have you thought of that? I mean, the whole thing with Nancy was… a heat of the moment kind of thing, there was literally nothing between them but there is something between them!” She argues, pointing at you. 
“I have thought about it,” Eddie nods, “but if I feel like I might lose someone I love for not saying anything to them, I damn right would do something!” 
“I love him, Eddie,” you mumble, your cheeks heating up at your vulnerable confession in front of Max, “but I never plan on telling him how I feel, so…”
Max groans at your words and rolls her eyes, “two idiots, I swear to god, I bet Steve is feeling and saying the same shit to whoever else knows.” 
“Robin,” Eddie nods at her. 
Robin, yeah. 
Robin who is suddenly not as fond of you as she was before, rolling her eyes and scoffing at you every chance she gets, irritating you a little more every time you’re around her now. You considered her a close friend before she suddenly turned on you and started acting weirdly towards you. You don’t know what her deal is but you suspect that she minds your presence around her best friend, fearing that you might ‘steal’ him from her because he is spending less time with her and more with you – as though she wasn’t the first to ditch him to be with Vickie. 
“Great!” Max shrugs, “then why don’t you talk to her, try to get information out of her… since you two are accomplices?”
Your eyes widen and you shake your head quickly, turning to Eddie in panic, “please don’t! Don’t talk to Robin, Eddie! She’s gonna tell Steve and if he doesn’t feel the same then…” 
Eddie shakes his head at you, not needing you to finish the sentence. He reaches his hand out to you and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, “I won’t, don’t worry,” he sighs, looking at you with sympathy in his eyes. He knows how deep your feelings are for Steve, how much you love him and how long you have loved him for already and now that you somewhat have him, you try to do everything to keep him, even when you are breaking your own heart in the process. 
He isn’t fond of this affair because he has an idea of how it will end and he fears that day, knowing what it will do to you but he can’t do anything to change it, he can’t save you from heartbreak, knowing it will happen sooner or later. 
You slump back in your seat, feeling pathetic for feeling this way, for holding on so desperately when there is only a small chance that there might be something and even that chance isn’t enough for you to go and find out the truth, not even when hope lingers in you after all the sweet moments you had with him. 
Max looks at you in a way her brother once did, when he found out the truth and realized just how deep your feelings were, back then already. 
You remember how the look in his eyes went from shock to confusion to sadness and sympathy. 
And you remember how awkward and embarrassed you had felt that night. 
It was raining outside, the windows were fogged and the smell of sex lingered in the room, you never knew what people meant by it when they mentioned that smell until that night. Your forehead was coated with sweat, your cheeks were glowing and feeling hot, your skin smelled like him, like his cologne and his aftershave, and your body felt different, not in a bad way, just in a foreign one.
You held the sheets tightly against your chest and looked out the window, watching as the rain paddled down the glass, a smile tugged at your lips and your chest wasn’t filled with sadness for once. 
“Hey,” Billy said and pulled your attention back to him, “give me a smile.” 
You turned your head to look at him, a giggle fell from your lips when you noticed the polaroid camera in his hands, his eyes were squinted and a smirk lingered on his face. 
“Seriously?” 
He took a picture of you before you reached forward and swatted the camera out of your face. 
Billy leaned back from you and held the camera away so you couldn’t reach it, he laughed at the bashful expression on your face.
“Need a picture of your special first time,” he joked and laughed again when you rolled your eyes at him and blushed. 
He took the picture out and started shaking it for reveal. He leaned back against your pillows and reached for his beer, drinking it while staring at you. 
“Well, we are not doing that again,” he said and you knew that it would’ve offended many other girls, but not you, because you felt the same. 
“Yeah, it didn’t feel right, did it?” You scrunched your nose. 
“Not at all,” Billy laughed before his face grew serious as his eyes roamed your face, “do you feel alright?” He asked in concern because he noticed how distant you looked, like your mind was somewhere else or with someone else.
He straightened up and furrowed his brows at you, “who are you thinking about?” 
You felt caught and you felt ashamed. 
You never admitted your feelings for Steve to anyone, they didn’t even make sense so how could you even begin to describe them? 
You looked down and closed your eyes, you pulled your brows together as though in pain and it only made him more curious.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why not?” Billy asked and dropped the polaroid camera and the picture on the mattress beside him. He placed the beer back on the nightstand and grabbed his pack of cigarettes instead, “is he ugly?” 
His question made you snort, you opened your eyes again and looked at his serious face. 
“No, he is not ugly, not in the slightest.” 
His lips curled downwards for a moment as he nodded, “do I know him?” He asked before he placed a cigarette between his lips. 
You only gave him a look and that was enough to confirm his question. 
He hummed and kept staring at you with a curious look on his face, he lit up his cigarette and threw the lighter on the nightstand, taking a long drag before he blew the smoke out. 
“I do, huh?” He chuckled and squinted his eyes at you, “are you gonna tell me or are you gonna let me guess?”
You smirked and shrugged at him, you held the blanket tighter against your chest and reached for the camera beside him, “guess, Billy,” you teased him as though your heart didn’t start pounding from all the nervousness inside of you. 
“Jesus,” he sighed in annoyance, “is he popular or a loser?” 
You shrugged and squinted your eye as you brought the camera up to your face and wasted no second to take a picture of him too, he didn’t seem to mind, not like you did. 
He started saying names, random names of guys you weren’t even sure went to Hawkins High. You kept shaking your head and saying no, you felt surprised that Steve’s name hadn't left his lips yet. 
“Huh, it’s not the drug dealer is it? What’s his name again?”
“Uh… You mean Eddie?” 
He nodded and pointed his finger at you, “yeah, him.”
You shook your head, “no, he’s cute but no, he’s not really my type,” you mumbled and sighed, “probably would’ve been better if it was someone like him, he’s nice, at least.” 
He hummed and stared at you, he fell quiet for a while and his face grew serious after a few minutes, then his eyes widened and he cursed under his breath. 
“Fuck… girl, please don’t tell me that it’s King Steve.” 
Your breath hitched in your throat and your face started burning beneath his gaze, you couldn’t stand to look into his eyes any longer so you broke eye contact and looked down at your hands in your covered lap. 
“Shit…” He sighed and slumped back, looking at you in disbelief, like you had fallen in love with his arch nemesis. 
“I know,” you mumbled in annoyance because you knew what he was about to say, “you don’t have to tell me how stupid I am, I already know that.” 
Billy stayed quiet for a moment and stared at the pained expression on your face. Yeah, he was about to say something stupid about Steve, about his stupid hair and your feelings for him but when he looked closer – and he knew you pretty well at that point, he could see just how much pain lingered behind your eyes, how glassy they got and how your bottom lip wobbled just the slightest bit. 
He was never the best with words and he certainly was never someone to give comfort, he didn’t even know how to, no one ever comforted him, only you did. 
He bit his tongue and swallowed the bitter words that were about to leave his lips. 
He opened his mouth but shut it again when he saw you wiping away a tear. 
Billy sighed and ran a hand through his mullet, he pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled his eyes at the thought of the jock. 
“It’s pretty serious isn’t it?” 
You only nodded and said nothing. 
“So… you’re like in love with him or some shit?”
“I guess so,” you whispered even though you knew for certain. “Feels like it’s tearing my heart apart or something every time I see him, every time he says something dumb to me.” 
“How…?” He asked and sighed again, “shit, I knew you liked him, you wouldn’t have defended him every chance you got but I thought you were just being nice to that fucker… Jesus…”
You shook your head again and slowly looked up at your best friend, “I can’t give you an answer, Billy. I don’t know how it happened, it just… happened. That’s gonna sound so cheesy but… when I first saw him I just… I felt safe and comfortable… happy. He smiled at me when he passed me in the hallway and I just – I don’t know, I can’t explain this feeling and it doesn’t matter anyways, he turned out to be a dick who hates my guts so… I’ll get over these feelings someday.” 
Billy didn’t believe your words and you didn’t either. 
You have loved him at first sight and that never changed or lessened, your feelings kept getting worse and worse and it made no sense because he kept treating you badly. 
You were infatuated with him, bewitched. 
You expected Billy to judge you but he didn’t, you thought he would say bad things about Steve but he never did, at least not when it came to you and your feelings for him. 
If anything, Billy encouraged you to act on your feelings, to get closer to him, to make a move and try. 
And you did, but it only made everything worse. 
And now, you stare at his sister and watch as she tries to do the same.
It went sideways the first time and you fear that it won’t go any different this time – yes, things have changed, you and Steve are something now, something you would have never seen coming a year before, especially after what happened when you did try to make a move on him. You just can not find it in yourself to even try, to gather all your confidence and use the sliver of hope to confess to him in hopes that he could feel the same, that you could be something more than what you are now. 
You can feel that things have shifted into a different direction, the softness in his eyes, his gentle touches and acts of affection are proof of that and still, you fear rejection and losing this because this thing between you is just too fragile, too easy to break and ruin. 
It’s not long ago that Steve couldn’t even bare to look at you without rolling his eyes or scoffing some cold words at you and you try not to think of them, to leave things in the past, to not go over his hurtful words again and again but something inside of you seems to manifest all the saddening and painful words your poor heart was attacked with in the past and you can’t fight off those memories, you try to but you can’t and it saddens you even more because the past few weeks with Steve, have been nothing but heavenly to you. 
You woke up in his arms every morning, he held you through the night, woke you with kisses and cooked you breakfast, he held your hand and treated you as if you were his, like you were his girlfriend and he your boyfriend – you got a taste of something you always craved and longed for and that should bring you peace, it really should but he is showing you, giving you something that you know he will take away again when the time comes. 
When you step into your house after dropping Max off at El’s, you make your way up to your bedroom and open your closet, looking for something comfortable to change into, when the navy blue color flashes in your peripheral vision. You grab a pair of your sleeping shorts and a random shirt of Steve’s, trying to ignore the dress that practically stares at you, forcing you to recall one of your worst memories. 
You clutch your clean clothes to your chest and take a look at the pretty sundress you bought at the GAP store when Starcourt mall was still intact. You reach out to touch it, pinching the thin material between your thumb and your pointer finger, a sad smile tugs at your lip when you think back to the day you bought it – just to look pretty for him. 
Your best friend kept encouraging you, filling you with hope that you could have a chance with Steve, that he wouldn’t say no to you if you tried to make a move, if you tried to ask him out, if you went after your feelings. Week after week had passed and Billy forced confidence onto you and pushed you towards a guy he didn’t even like. 
You kept denying his words, you knew you had no chance with him, not even after you graduated from high school, not even after Steve had changed and his mean words became less harsh. 
And yet, a part of you listened to Billy, that naive and hopeful part of you that really wanted her crush to like her back and give her the chance she always wanted. 
You bought a pretty dress, you got your hair done and did your makeup, lighter and girlier than usual, you put on your favorite perfume and jewelry and you decided to give it a try – you shouldn’t have, you should’ve listened to your brain and not your heart. 
The mall was bustling with people, kids were running around the water fountain, a group of young girls rushed past you, giggling in excitement as they carried their many shopping bags, you were standing in front of Scoops Ahoy, with your cheeks burning and your heart racing. 
In all honesty, you had no idea what you were doing, you came up with no plan before you came here, you just woke up that morning and decided that Billy was right, that you could take a chance and go after what you wanted – you had nothing to lose, except for your dignity. Besides, you were no longer in school, if things went wrong, you could easily avoid him.
You had taken a look inside, only a few teenagers sat by the window, it wasn’t crowded, not in the slightest. You saw him, he was standing behind the counter with his back turned to you as he was talking to his co-worker who spoke to him through the small window between them. 
Your heart skipped a beat when he turned to the side, a smile lingered on his face as he nodded along to the music that played on the radio. 
You could have still turned back, you could have still left without being seen, without having made a fool of yourself. But you didn’t, you didn’t turn around, you didn’t change your mind, you walked into your own demise. 
You took a deep breath and walked up to the counter, you twisted the ring on your finger and focused on him. He looked so good, even in his silly uniform, he looked so pretty. His sailor hat was laying on the counter and he was twisting the ice cream scooper in his hand, he only turned around when his co-worker, Robin, nudged her chin at you before she turned her back to him and disappeared further into the room. 
You blinked and breathed heavily as you realized that you didn’t even know what to say, you didn’t prepare for this, you were never good with words or conversing with boys, you didn’t know how to flirt – well, you did, Billy taught you, but you had never used your newly learned skill before. 
And when Steve turned around to face, it was too late to think of what to say, anyways. 
“Ahoy–” his cheerful words cut short and the smile on his face fell when he saw you, “oh, it’s you.” 
That should have been enough to change your mind, to make you turn back and run the other way. 
“Hi Steve.”
Steve’s shoulders slumped and he slid his scooper back into place, he put his hands on the counter and sighed. 
“Blondie,” he nodded. 
You were too nervous to see the way he looked at you, the way his eyes roamed your face and your styled hair, your glowing skin and your pretty dress, the way his cheeks changed color as he kept staring at you. 
“What can I get for you?” He asked and cleared his throat as he gestured to the many ice cream flavors. 
You shifted and tilted your head to the side, your hair fell from your shoulder and down your back. He looked again, at your exposed skin, at the dainty chain around your neck. 
“I uh… I’m… I don’t know yet,” you stuttered and felt yourself growing more nervous than before. 
Steve sighed and looked away from you, “of course,” he murmured under his breath. 
Your cheeks burned hotly, your eyes felt heavy and you looked down as you already felt the regret rushing through your body. You wanted to say something, anything, but all your words were caught in your throat, everything you would’ve said if he liked you a little more were stuck and frozen. 
You cleared your throat and took a deep breath, you looked at his face and wondered why you even let Billy encourage you and talk you into doing this. The few ‘nice’ interactions you had with Steve meant nothing. The smile he wore on his lips before could never be directed at you, the soft look in his hazel eyes disappeared the moment he saw you, the tone in his voice changed in an instant. 
“How are you…?” You asked, cringing at yourself, at the question, at the shakiness in your voice. 
He looked back at you and raised his eyebrows, an unamused chuckle fell from his lips. 
“What do you want?” He asked and shrugged at you, “we’re out of high school, we don’t have to see each other anymore and I know you’re not here for ice cream, you usually don’t have an issue making a decision, so why are you here, Blondie?”
You could not help but draw back as a cold shudder ran down your spine, you blinked and looked down. 
You missed the look of guilt that flashed in his eyes when he watched you step back and you closed your eyes for a moment, your brows scrunched together as though in pain. 
He was always this way, you knew what you were stepping into, you knew how he would react and you couldn’t blame him, you weren’t exactly nice to him in school and snapped back at him every time he threw a rude comment at you. 
You swallowed and took a deep breath, you looked back up at him, at the hazel eyes you always loved so much. 
Steve huffed and he took a deep breath, he stared at you intensely and you didn’t know what it meant, a part of you thought that it was his hatred, the other was foolishly hopeful. 
“Yeah… I know but I just… I thought that maybe we could,” you paused as your heart felt as though it was about to tear from your chest any moment. He looked at you so intensely, he made you feel so small beneath his gaze. 
“We could what?” He asked a little too harshly and made you cower back. 
“This was a bad idea,” you whispered to yourself and took another step back, “I’m sorry I just…”
“What’s up with you?” Steve mumbled and furrowed his brows at you, confused at the side of you he never met before. “Did you miss being annoying so much that you had to come bother me at work, Blondie?” 
You heard the teasing in his voice, you saw the sliver of amusement in his eyes but you really only focused on the way your heart clenched in pain and how regret took on full control. 
You rolled your eyes, not at him but at yourself, at your foolishness.
Of course he doesn’t want to see you, why would he? 
He never liked you and he certainly wouldn’t start now, he would probably laugh into your face if you asked for what you came for – a date. 
Your cheeks were nearly hurting from all the blushing, your heart was skipping and pounding, your hands felt clammy. You never felt the need to cry in front of him, you never felt vulnerable around him because your walls were always high up and guarded by a second layer, now you came without protection and decided to let yourself be vulnerable for once, only to feel like breaking down from the embarrassment that was gnawing at you. 
“Cat got your tongue? That’s new…” He chuckled and stared you down still, eyebrows still furrowed and lips pursed. His hardened expression fell a little and something else took over, something you couldn’t read. “Did someone stand you up?” 
Steve wasn’t used to your silence so you weren’t surprised about the confusion on his face. You looked at him again and caught him eyeing you up and down, his eyes lingered on your dress for longer than necessary. 
His question went unanswered and he grew frustrated with you. 
“Can’t blame them if they did,” he mumbled, throwing daggers at your heart. 
That stung. 
Normally his words would’ve angered you and you would’ve shot back straight away, despite your feelings for him, you wouldn’t have kept quiet or struggled to say something back but not today, today you let him hurt you – deep down you knew this would happen, this was always how you interacted, he said something mean and then you would too. His words were nothing new and yet they cut deep. 
You swallowed hard and dug your nails into your palms, your breathing quickened and you knew you had to get out of here but something kept you standing, you felt as though you were frozen. 
Steve coughed awkwardly and looked away for a moment, he grabbed his scooper again, “so… wanna eat your feelings or what?” He asked and pointed at the many flavors, eyes back on you. 
“No–”
“Hi, Steve!”
You nearly flinched at the high pitched voice and had to hold back the eyeroll when you saw the girl next to you, who didn’t bother to hide the dirty looks she gave you before she returned her attention back to him, flashing him a sickly sweet smile that made his eyes light up.
The girl used to be on the cheer team, very popular and gossipy, unkind and one of the most unpleasant people you have met – and she usually spends her Saturday nights in Billy’s sheets.
Steve’s eyes were no longer on you, instead they were stuck on the pretty girl beside you, he eyed her up and down, not with distaste or annoyance but with interest and a smirk on his lips. 
“Hey, how are you?” He asked and leaned against the counter, a flirty look crossed his face, “you look amazing, Olivia.” 
She giggled and twirled her hair around her finger, she licked her lips as she eyed him like she was hungry. 
“So do you.”
Steve smirked at her and chuckled softly. 
At that point, you didn’t know what you felt because your sadness ran so deep, you didn’t have it in yourself to feel jealous anymore. 
You just felt like a fool. 
And you felt angry, at yourself and at him for being so horrible to you. Olivia’s giggles did nothing to make you feel less horrible, like nails on chalkboard her voice was irritating you in the worst way possible, so before leaving, you turned towards her and when she met your gaze with a fake smile, you matched the look on her face. 
“Wouldn’t waste your time here, Olivia,” you said her name, mockingly and looked her up and down, not feeling jealous over the ugly sandals or the green skirt she was wearing. “He only flirts to pass time. Besides, isn’t that your boyfriend waiting for you?” You asked and tilted your head at the guy in front of the store, he was already glaring at Steve. 
Olivia clenched her jaw and glared at you, huffing in annoyance which gave you a little satisfaction. 
“Better not leave him waiting or someone might tell him what or who you do every Saturday night.” 
Her pale face grew even… paler and you couldn’t even bite back the smirk, despite the blow that was just delivered to your heart. 
Steve raised his eyebrows as he looked between you, he saw the way you blinked, fastly, he saw how glassy your eyes were despite the look on your face. 
You turned back to him and looked at him with a straight face, “you usually don’t mind sharing your girls though, do you? So… go nuts,” you shrugged before you turned around and walked away from him, not planning to look back. 
You should have, you should have looked back because then you would’ve seen the guilt in his eyes, the regret that crossed his features, the tension that slipped off his shoulders and the disinterest that took over for the girl in front of him. The sadness that flashed in his eyes for missing an opportunity, for letting you go like this. 
But you didn’t, you kept going and you rushed back out into the bustling mall, you blinked away the tears and made your way back home. You tore the dress off your skin the moment you stepped into your room. 
And you never wore it again. 
You roll your eyes at yourself for feeling pain for the girl you were a year before, for still hurting because of the things he said to you, for the way he looked at you, for the way he flirted with a different girl in front of you. 
The past doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter, especially not now, not anymore – not after what you have gone through together, not after he changed, not after he started treating you differently, not after all the nights and mornings you have spent with each other, not after all the gentle touches, not after the way he kissed you and held you close that one night, not after he called you late at night just to hear your voice. 
He is different now, you are different now, you aren’t the teenagers you were a year back. 
The past shouldn’t hurt. 
You slam the closet door shut and walk out of your room and into the bathroom, you start the shower, letting the water warm up while you take off your clothes. You feel frustration bubbling inside of you, the conversation with Max and her encouraging words triggered all the memories that you refused to think about in these past few months. 
The day at Scoops Ahoy made you sad and angry, it made you want to never see him again, you avoided the mall after that day and you didn’t see much of him after. You hated yourself for hoping, for going after your feelings, for believing that you could have a chance after Billy’s encouragement – Billy who pushed you away only a week later, with harsh words and a mean look on his face, he pushed you away when you needed him the most and you felt alone again, so alone. At that time, you didn’t understand why he did it, why he didn’t want you in his life anymore, you didn’t know that he was just trying to protect you from the upside down, from himself. 
And then he died and you lost yourself completely. 
You drowned your sorrows in alcohol and kissed the lips of strangers, you let them touch you in hopes that you would feel something, you woke up in their beds and hated yourself after because no matter how good they were to you, how nice the conversations went, how much they made you laugh, how nice they made you feel, they couldn’t make you forget about the friend you lost, they couldn’t make you forget about him, they couldn’t give you what you wanted, what you needed, what you longed for. 
You searched for glimpses of Steve in every man you kissed and you hated yourself for it because you wondered why you even felt that way for someone who couldn’t even stand you, who hated you with all his being. 
What made you fall in love with him? 
What tied you to him the way it did? 
Because he never gave you a reason to fall in love with him back then, he treated you unkindly from the moment you met and yet you couldn’t help your feelings, you couldn’t help but adore him, you couldn’t help but admire him. 
You even felt your own heart break when you found out about what Nancy did to him, how she broke his heart so carelessly, how she cheated on him with her friend. 
And you felt it break even more when he still wanted her, even after everything she did to him, he loved hard, just like you did, like you do. No matter what she did to him, he still loved her. 
And now, you can’t help but ask yourself the question that you have always avoided. 
Does he still have feelings for her? 
You wonder if he still wants her, if he still wishes for a future with her, if she is still the one he craves by his side. 
He doesn’t look at her the way he used to, not anymore, he doesn’t seem sad around her the way he did after she rejected him and yet, you still wonder, if you are just someone he passes time with while he hopes that she might change her mind in the future. If you are the person he finds comfort in because he can feel that you love him the way she never did.  
Are you the replacement? The filler? 
You feel yourself crashing, the water feels hot on your skin but you feel the shudder running down your spine, the goosebumps that rise on your skin make you shiver, your throat tightens and your eyes blur with tears as your heart clenches in your chest. 
You wipe your tears in anger even though your whole face is wet from the water pouring down on you, you turn off the water and open the curtain in anger, you reach for your towel and wrap it around your body. 
You wipe the fog off the mirror and look at your reflection, at the marks on your neck, at the tears running down your cheeks. 
Are you stupid for crying when you knew exactly what you were signing up for? 
You always knew what this was to him and you were satisfied with it because you just wanted him, no matter how, you wanted him and you got him. 
But you can’t stop your heart from aching because somehow, you fell even harder for him and you can’t stop from hurting when you think about what you are to him and what you might never be. 
Just sex. 
A friend… nothing more than a friend, that’s what he said, you are just a friend. 
The confidence that only started growing inside of you not too long ago begins to crumble and you don’t know how to stop it from falling apart. 
You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart and the thoughts that drive you mad. You take a look around, at the things he left in your bathroom, his toothbrush next to yours, his body wash and shampoo in your shower, his Farrah Fawcett hairspray that no one can know about. 
Would all this be here if you didn’t mean something to him? 
Would he have made space in one of his drawers just for your stuff if this meant nothing? 
Would he have let you in if he still wanted someone else? 
Does he even still want someone else? 
You huff in annoyance for letting yourself fall into this spiral of overthinking. You feel as though all these questions come to haunt you for pushing them away all these weeks and now you feel a headache coming and you grow irritated with yourself and with your insecurities. 
You shut them down as best as you can and busy yourself with other things, you moisturize your skin and blow dry your hair. You put on your fresh clothes and comb through your hair before you leave the bathroom, it’s much darker in the hallway than expected, the grayish clouds hide the sun and the sound of thunder rumbles in the far distance, drops of rain already paint your windows. 
Goosebumps rise on your skin and an unsettling feeling sinks into the pit of your stomach. You feel the cold wind on your exposed skin from the open window in your bedroom, you make your way inside, pushing the blowing curtains away as you reach forward to shut the window. 
Lightning surges through the sky, deep purple colors flash in the darkening clouds far away. You would’ve felt your heart dropping by now if you didn’t notice the burgundy car parked in your driveway, the door opens and he steps out, a second later, a brown paper bag in his hand and something tucked beneath his arm, he shuts the door and locks it, wasting no time to find shelter under the roof on your porch as it starts raining harder. 
Instead of dropping, your heart skips a beat, forgetting all about the pain it just felt from the saddening thoughts in your mind. 
Through all your overthinking and pondering, you forgot that he was coming over. 
You shut the window and rush downstairs, opening the door as he rings the doorbell for a second time. A frown lingers on his face but it disappears when his eyes lock with yours as soon as you open the door and a smile tugs at his lips instead. 
“Hey Blondie,” he breathes and rushes inside when you step aside to let him in, “looks like the end of the world out there.” 
“Hi…” 
You close the door and lock it before you turn around to face him. 
Steve kicks off his shoes and throws the movie tapes that were tucked beneath his arm on the counter where you keep your keys and sunglasses, he puts his keys into the little bowl and then he steps towards you and reaches for your hand, he pulls you towards him and takes you by surprise when he leans down and smacks his lips against yours, kissing you shortly. Greeting you with a kiss, something he had never done before. 
Your eyes widen a little and your throat tightens for a different reason now, you stare at him, unable to hide the surprised look on your face. 
And Steve, he furrows his brows and his smile falls a little, not because of your widened eyes but because of the glassiness in them, he frowns as worry swirls in his chest. 
“Hey,” he murmurs and lets go of your hand to cup the side of your face, letting his thumb linger on your cheek, “is everything okay?” 
You blink. 
Your heart jumps at his action, at the question, at the concern in his soft brown eyes. You breathe in deeply, you open and close your mouth a few times, unable to find the right words. 
You didn’t cry all that much, it’s not so visible on your face, is it? 
“Did something happen?” He asks, a little softer this time. 
You shake your head, “n-no, I’m fine, just tired, I’m probably coming down with something…” You lie. 
“In the summer?” 
You force a smile and look down, shrugging, “guess I’m not that strong…” 
“Well, then let me take care of you,” he whispers and caresses your cheek. 
You wonder if he knows what he does to you with such words and actions, you sometimes wish he knew that your heart leaps every time he does such things, maybe then he would take pity on you and not fill you with so much hope, even in your worst moments. 
You nod at him and let him take your hand back in his, he gives you a sweet smile that nearly makes you crumble. 
“So how was your day?” Steve asks as he tugs you along with him and leads you into your kitchen.
You swallow the lump in your throat and shrug, “good, I went shopping with Max and then we ate lunch with Eddie.” 
Steve smiles at that, he places the brown paper bag on the kitchen table and turns to face you. 
The soft look in his eyes and the smile on his lips makes you feel guilty for the thoughts that rushed through your mind just moments before. This side of him is the only one you have known in the past few weeks, the gentle and sweet side you never thought you’d ever get to see. 
“I got us dinner, burgers and fries but I got the fancy ones from Enzo’s,” he chuckles and lets go of your hand, stepping away from you and towards the sink. “Did you find anything?” He asks as he runs the water and uses the hand soap you always leave in your kitchen to wash his hands. 
You furrow your brows at his question, feeling a little lost and confused. 
“Hm?” 
“When you went shopping.” 
“Oh.” You nod your head, you went back to the jewelry store to look for new rings and the necklace you fell in love with but it was already gone, it would’ve looked pretty with the dress you picked out for Joyce’s and Hopper’s wedding. “Yeah, I finally got a dress for the wedding… oh and shoes… and makeup.” 
Steve smiles fondly when he turns back to you, “what color is your dress?” 
“Uh, it’s black,” you say and walk over to the fridge to grab a drink for you both, “sounds boring, right? But it’s really pretty and I got some pink heels to go with it.”
“It doesn’t sound boring,” he shakes his head at you and carries two plates to the kitchen table, “besides, you look gorgeous in anything.”
You freeze. 
Your eyes grow wide and your cheeks start burning. 
Gorgeous? 
He surely never called you that before, especially not after greeting you with a kiss on your lips. 
“T-Thanks, Steve.”
He hums in response and you look back at him to see him placing the food on the plates, putting more fries on yours than on his. His brows are pulled together in concentration, his lips pressed together, his hair looks a little messed up from the wind but he looks so cute like this. 
And you can’t help but think of how intimate this all is, him kissing you after walking in, him asking you about your day and the color of your dress, him plating your dinner.  
You can’t help but hate yourself for all the overthinking and reminiscing of the things that happened in the past. 
You close the fridge with a sigh and make your way back to the table, placing the coke in front of his plate. 
“Thanks, Honey.”
You give him a smile and sit down across from him, looking down at the delicious food in front of you, “I’m horrible, you always cook for us or order something and I never do anything.” 
Steve shakes his head, glaring at you, “you’re not horrible and that’s not true, you cooked breakfast and dinner before.” 
You pop open your soda can, “yeah, I made french toast and sandwiches.” 
“Yeah and it was amazing, now shut up and eat your dinner, kid,” he says playfully, his eyes glinting with amusement when you laugh. 
You push your hair out of your face and pick up the burger, unaware of the fond smile that tugs at his lips as he watches you take a bite. His eyes roam your face, your eyes are a little red and he can’t help but think that you lied to him about feeling sick, you look fine, you just look a little… sad and it makes him feel upset because he knows that you won’t talk about it, especially not with him but he wants to be there for you, he wants to give you a shoulder to cry on, to lean on, he wants to give you comfort. 
He looks down at the shirt on your body and when he recognizes it, his eyes lighten up and warmth blooms in his chest, it’s his shirt. 
He bites back the smile as he looks down and starts eating too, welcoming the comfortable silence between you as the rain paddles down the windows, the thunder still crashing somewhere, far away. 
You flinch every time a loud crash booms through the sky, it’s nothing new to him, he noticed it the very first time it happened. Every time the sky turns a little darker and the wind picks up, you fidget and get anxious. He wonders if it’s a fear you have taken with you from the upside down or if it is something that accompanied you before, he never dared to ask before. 
Every time he showed up during a storm, your eyes were filled with fear and your hands were shaking. You would relax and calm down a few minutes after his arrival, his presence seems comforting to you and it’s why he rushes to get to you every time he sees the dark clouds and hears the thunder. 
“Hey Blondie?” 
You look up at him through your lashes and raise your eyebrows, “yes?” 
“Can I ask you something?” 
You put down your burger and reach for your drink, nodding at him. 
“Have you always been afraid of storms?” 
You seem to be taken aback as you stare at him and blink, not moving or saying anything just yet and he fears that he crossed a line. 
“I just, I noticed that you flinch at every crash.”
You always tried to hide your reactions, not wanting to seem scared or weak, and usually no one ever noticed things about you that you didn’t want them to see but Steve seems to see right through you. 
His hazel eyes aren’t filled with judgment or amusement, just with curiosity and… a hint of concern? 
You take a sip of your drink and sit back, relaxing your shoulders as you look into his eyes. 
“Yeah, I just, I guess it got stuck with me from when I was a kid,” you chuckle and roll your eyes, “I know, embarrassing right?” 
He shakes his head and frowns, “no, not at all.” 
“Honestly, it wasn’t even that bad when I was a kid, it got worse when I was a teen. My parents would go on these business trips sometimes and trusted my sister to look after me but she used those opportunities to go hang out with friends or go to parties or whatever else she was doing,” you explain, not looking away from him, “and I hated being alone, it probably didn’t help that I watched horror movies every time I was alone.” 
Steve chuckles at that, though he can’t help but feel sad for you. 
His parents left too, hell, they still do. To know that you were in a similar situation as him when you were younger fills him with regret, knowing that he could have been there for you and you for him, if he just wasn’t such a dick to you. 
“I just always got so anxious whenever I heard the howling wind and the loud thunder, it felt like the fear paralyzed me in a way… I don’t know, does that even make sense?” 
Steve nods, “yeah, yeah it makes sense.” 
But now he wonders how the hell you jumped into the water to save him, after everything that you had been told about the upside down, about the storms, about the monsters, you still jumped into the water when he was pulled under. You knew what was waiting for you on the other side and you still did it. 
“B-But how… I… the upside down was filled with storms?”
You would’ve jumped into a hurricane if it meant saving his life. 
“I wasn’t going to prioritize my fears over your life, Steve.”
Steve feels a little stunned, he knows how paralyzing fears can get, how they can hold you back from everything, but you, you didn’t care about your fears, about yourself, knowing that it could’ve ended badly for you down there, you cared more for him than you did for yourself, even when he was nothing but an asshole to you who treated you like shit. 
If he knew you, the real you, he wouldn’t have been so harsh to you, he wouldn’t have been so… cold. He would have never said a single bad word to you but he thought you were cruel and he thought you hated him so he gave you a side of him that didn’t even exist, it was an act, nothing more, nothing less and he regrets it more than anything. 
He regrets every word he said to you before this. And he feels as though he doesn’t deserve this, you, not even in this way, not after everything he said to you and about you. 
He wants nothing more than to take it all back, to make it up to you. 
And as you sit there in front of him, with red rimmed eyes that prove that you have cried before he came here, he wants nothing more than to pull you into his arms and apologize, over and over again.
But instead of doing that and risking making you uncomfortable, he slides his plate closer to you and changes seats so he is right next to you, he ignores the confused look you give him and the question you were gonna ask before he grabs your face and kisses you, making you gasp in surprise. 
You melt into the kiss quickly, despite the confusion that lingers in you. You place your palm on the side of his neck and kiss him back softly. 
And just like that, your worries and your anxious thoughts fade away into nothing, his touch, his kisses, he makes you forget about all the sadness that gnawed at you before, for a moment, they don’t matter and they won’t be back till later. 
For a moment, you’re allowed to feel hopeful and confident again. 
When his hand finds your waist and his lips move slowly and softly with yours, when he hums into the kiss and pulls you closer, when he makes you feel special. 
Steve’s eyelashes flutter when he pulls away and opens his eyes again, smiling softly as he pecks your lips once more before he moves back, like he didn’t just steal your breath and made your heart pound wildly. 
“What was that for?” You breathe. 
“To calm you down from the storm,” he shrugs, chuckling at his own words. 
“Why do you think a kiss would calm me down?” 
“I don’t know, I read it in a magazine,” he lies and looks down at his food with rosy cheeks and a sheepish smile. 
A giggle falls from your lips.
“Right,” he nods and points a finger at you, still smiling, “it’s scientifically proven that kisses help with the distraction.” 
“Mhmm,” you hum and nod, “right, totally yeah.” 
Instead of tears, you’re biting back a smile now, falling right back into the state you are always in when you’re around him – into bliss. 
You continue eating and you ask him about his day, you push your plate towards him, sharing your fries with him once he practically inhales the ones on his plate. He keeps on talking, the whole time you sit at the kitchen table you ate your meals alone at, he tells you all the gossip he’s heard from Robin, keeping you entertained and making you giggle, making you forget about the raging storm behind you or the pain you felt before, he makes you forget about everything. 
And you thought this would be like any other night you spent with him.
But it wasn’t.
Steve didn’t sleep with you that night, and you didn’t initiate it either. The storm was at full blast over your house, and Steve made sure to have the TV at full volume when watching the movies he stole. He mentioned Keith was busy trying to talk to a female customer and he didn’t even look at Steve when he shoved them down his shirt.
You laughed with him, giggled, and – are you the replacement? Are you really? Or are you actually in his heart?
The past tells you that you are the filler for the holes in his heart, but the present– the present tells you otherwise. It tells you that there might be a chance. His smile tells you that he likes spending time with you. The frown over his eyes when something happens to you tells you he is worried for you. The way he is possessive over you tells you that he considers you his. 
Is it foolish to believe in the present? Is it foolish to simply forget about the past? Is it foolish you cannot and won’t let go of him? Is it foolish to simply love him, with no reason at all? 
And you just know… that Billy never once said it was. 
Billy who wouldn’t want you to give up. Billy who wouldn’t want you to go back into the past. Billy who would want you to keep living in the present. Billy who would still encourage you if he were here. Billy who helped you pick that dress at the GAP to shoot your shot that day at Scoops.
Billy never gave up on your love for Steve. 
You shouldn’t either.
And you won’t.
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars @moon-flowerrs
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boyfhee · 3 days
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ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼
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﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.
꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy
꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light
꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^
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001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL
sunghoon is spiralling again. 
a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it. 
but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.
for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister. 
back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait. 
if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.
sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you. 
‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.
however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks. 
“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away. 
“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.
“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”
he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”
“my phone died,”
“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”
“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”
and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”
“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”
sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.
he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?
and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?
sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.
he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”
“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,” 
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sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night. 
it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two. 
“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts. 
“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”
“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”
and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips. 
he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.
it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension. 
“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer. 
“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”
sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms. 
002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY
sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.
“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee. 
he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”
he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.
“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips. 
“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”
your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”
“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”
“we’re not dating,”
“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait— didn’t you say he asked you out?”
“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”
he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you. 
“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”
“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”
you two just bask in silence after that.
he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing. 
“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”
those words ring in his mind for a good while. 
you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out. 
it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it. 
noh chaeun  4:15pm hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled are you up for some coffee?
sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.
you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke. 
that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys. 
it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh. 
sunghoon  4:21pm sure, i’ll pick you up in ten
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“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful  for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”
“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.
sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out. 
“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”
“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”
“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”
“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.
“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”
and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.
he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.
what the heck?!
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surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything. 
for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.
he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock. 
“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?” 
“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”
and his heart drops down to his stomach.
this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. ) 
you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”
“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice. 
he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay. 
jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones. 
but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you. 
in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep. 
it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.
003. A CHANGE OF STANCE
sunghoon thinks you’re hot.
what the fuck?
“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”
“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain. 
even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked. 
absolutely. completely. fucked.
nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,” 
you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”
“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,” 
“are you high?” 
well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course. 
“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.
“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.
“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.
a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed. 
a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck. 
“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck. 
now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.
“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down. 
but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot. 
he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.
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it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.
a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.
“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”
“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”
and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”
“do you think he’s pretty?”
“of course,”
“do you think she’s hot?”
“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”
“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.
“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up. 
“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”
and…silence.
absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief. 
“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”
“she’s my roommate,”
“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.
“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.
“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”
he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”
“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”
and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.
perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.
sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.
you look miserable.
and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.
“let’s go inside,”
004. CANDLELIT 
“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”
“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,” 
it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries. 
on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”
“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.
“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”
“stop it!”
he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.
you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.
he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat. 
“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.
“are you cooking?”
he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?” 
you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.
you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room. 
sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.
“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”
he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered. 
“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.
“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”
“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.
sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light. 
you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow. 
“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.
it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”
you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his. 
it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips. 
he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”
and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently. 
it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.
he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin. 
he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire. 
your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again. 
“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.
“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,” 
005. WHERE THE LINE FADES
when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness. 
he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.
the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.
“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”
actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.
“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”
you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room. 
you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—” 
“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”
and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.
it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.
“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”
you don’t even like the sound of that.
“yeah,”
you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”
and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.
or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.
there’s no sign of you.
it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.
but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.
which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.
he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response. 
he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”
“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch. 
it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out. 
it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question. 
“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply. 
“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”
“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.
you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands. 
sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it. 
and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips. 
“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”
“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”
“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”
there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of. 
you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you. 
he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed. 
“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”
and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it. 
“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.
you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him. 
“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.
of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”
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˃ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things
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cheapshrimpysheep · 3 days
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Meaningful Kiss 2
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SUMMARY: Would they make Public Displays of Affection? If not, are they protective instead? And how do they show you how much they truly love you through their kisses? 💋
CHARACTERS: Freshmen (Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Romantic Relationship; Kissing; Flirting
WARNING: Spoilers from Ace Suitor Suit Card Vignettes
WORD COUNT: An average of 330 words per character.
COMMENTS: The first Meaningful Kiss with the Overblot Students went so well and so many people liked it that I thought about doing another one with the next most popular group, the Freshmen. And according to a poll more than 80% of the votes were for "OMG! YES PLEASE!" So here it is.
I hope you all enjoy 😘
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CONTEXT: For some of them I needed to think first about what the beginning of the relationship would be like. But this would already be how they would act in an established relationship.
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Ace is kinda into PDA, but more to tease you and mess with you. He is very comfortable with you. He has no problem putting his arm around your shoulders or waist with a playful smile. Often to try to convince you not to be the voice of reason and join him in trouble.
In public he may hug you a lot, but the only kisses he gives you are on the forehead or cheek. Because on the lips, those are the special ones! And those are reserved for your private moments.
You two are usually alone in Ramshackle Dorm, mainly in the Lounge. You would have many movie sessions where you would make popcorn and snacks together. And it is in these moments, where there is a high chance of you messing with each other, like throwing flour at each other or smearing each other's noses with chocolate, that his most meaningful kisses can happen. In a fun atmosphere.
His most meaningful kisses are playful and grateful. He hugs you like he never wants to lose you. His kisses are passionate, not in a sense of desire, but in a sense of gratitude. You know those moments when something happens that makes a person remember why they love someone else? These are those moments and those kisses. These kisses mean "thank you for being in my life".
However, there are also certain other times when kisses like this can happen. Imagine him getting into trouble and you ending up in trouble too. But of course, instead of handing Ace over, you protect him, help him hide or even hide with him. It is in these moments that you can also receive a passionate kiss from him. “Thank you for being my partner in crime” kisses.
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Deuce is very new to these things, so he's not a fan of PDA. But even when he's gotten used to your relationship, he doesn't see PDA as something necessary. You love each other and you only need to prove that to each other.
BUT if you really like it when he hugs you or gives you a kiss on the cheek, he might do it for you. On the lips, those are the special ones and he is very embarrassed to give them to you in public because he needs to be comfortable to kiss you properly.
At first, he will still get flustered easily and probably blush a lot. It's all very new to him. So, even holding your hand will take a little while for him to get used to it. But once enough time has passed, he won't have any problems even linking his arm with you. And also given enough time, he will start to be that boyfriend who gives you a kiss on the cheek every time he greets you and every time he says goodbye.
For his most meaningful kisses there will be special places. Places where he will take you on his Blastcycle (Magical Wheel). If he takes you on a date. These kisses can also happen in sporadic moments where he feels so happy to have you that he forgets everything else.
His kisses are passionate, urgent, like it's something he needs to give you. You know when he gets so angry that his ex-delinquent self shows up? Now think about that intensity and lack of control, but with love and affection. He is more sentimental than rational, so I believe he is the type of person who is not ashamed to tell the people closest to him how important they are. And he won't think twice to decide whether to show you how much he loves you or not in a romantic moment.
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Jack tries not to do PDA, or at least he tried more in the beginning. It's all still very new to him and he knows that you are his partner for life, so there is plenty of time to get used to the relationship.
Wolf beastmen only have one special someone, ever. They choose a single partner to care for. He chose you, the same way you chose him and now he is committed to you for life. And both he and you expect this to be a long time, so there's no need to rush anything.
He's not much into PDA, but eventually he'll feel more comfortable holding hands with you or letting you link your arm through his. At first, any kiss was still awkward in public, but after a while he ended up having no problem giving you a quick kiss on the cheek if you asked, or if he was very happy. And only some time after this phase, he will feel more comfortable giving you a quick kiss on the lips, usually to say goodbye.
Why are all his kisses in public quick? Because the slow ones are the private ones. Despite his tough wolf exterior, with you, especially in private, he can be a puppy. Rare are the times when he isn’t wagging his tail when he's with you. Or smiling, even if it's just a little. He likes to cuddle! The best moments alone with you are when you can rest in each other's arms. You can pet him. Please do.
He gives you sweet, light and lingering kisses on your cheeks and lips, but the most meaningful ones are a mix of gentleness and excitement. Do you know when dogs are so happy that they get excited? Think of that excitement, but gentler, more caring, more careful. He wants to show you how much he loves you, but he is also aware of his strength and that you are a human, less strong than a beastman/woman.
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Being faithful to the character and his complexes, I don't believe Epel would have a relationship with someone more masculine than himself. So I believe his significant other would be more feminine than him or a girl.
If you're not a girl, it might take longer for him to get to this stage. But if you are, at first he may see you as a bit of a trophy, just a little. You will find him more cocky than usual and he won't have any problems with PDA, quite the opposite, he wants to show everyone your relationship. He'll put his arm around you a lot, whether it's around your shoulders or your waist. He'll try to get over the fact that you're taller than him if you are, but if you're shorter, he might feel like the protective boyfriend he so wants to be.
It will be a rocky start. And you will have to have a talk with him about the sudden change in attitude towards you. He will apologize a lot and reveal that yes, he is proud of himself for being in a relationship with you, because he is proud to be someone you can trust and fall in love with. The last thing he wants is to be disrespectful to you. This is still new for him, so can you help him be better?
After this beginning of learning, you will discover that yes, he genuinely likes PDA. He is a prideful person. Proud of himself for the person he is becoming with you and proud of you for... everything. And he wants to show everyone how much you deserve his affection.
He can hold your hand, hug you, and give you kisses on the cheek, but kisses on the lips are special, and less confident, at least at first. He has no experience and he doesn't want to ruin the moment. But once he gets used to it, you'll find that his kisses are just as sweet, cute and delicate as the appearance he's learning to embrace.
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Good Luck! Sebek is... intense, but slow. Especially because he follows Lilia's “advices” too much. According to Lilia, once he falls in love with someone, he must pen them a letter. With a fountain pen since that and stationery are the true weapons in matters of love. He shall pen his feelings, slip a photo of his smiling visage into every third missive, and repeat this until the twenty-fifth full moon.
Of course you won't be able to bear this for long and you'll have to have a talk with him and Lilia. He’ll ask Lilia what to do from now on, and seeing that things are real now, he'll probably just reply: "Whatever you feel you should do. Trust your heart, but never overlapping yours with (Y/N)’s. That's it! Good luck."
Just like he does with Malleus, Sebek's way of showing that he likes someone is by admiring and protecting them. So, at first it will be just that, he will be close to you and you will receive many words of affirmation.
However, even after he becomes more comfortable with you, you will find that he is indifferent to PDA. At least PDA initiated by him. But if you say you want to hold hands, a hug, a kiss, whatever it is, your wishes are orders! Literally!
In that case, he will never have any problem doing any of the things you ask. Do you want to walk hand in hand? He will extend his hand like a gentleman asking his date to dance. Do you want a hug? He'll open his arms and let you in, maybe even give you a kiss on the forehead if you're feeling down.
Do you want a kiss? What kind of kiss? On the forehead? Granted! On the cheek? For sure! On the lips? Then you have to be careful. Remember that he never hides how much he likes and admires someone. He doesn't exactly have one kiss more special than the other. he will give you any kind of kiss you wish. Like I said, your wishes are orders and you will feel it in his kisses. His most meaningful kisses are all, because they are all to make you happy.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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jiarkives · 2 days
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touchy-feely
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ summary — nanami’s love language is not physical touch, or so he thought until you came along.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ character — nanami kento (jujutsu kaisen)
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content — fluff
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ notes — based on a headcanon on a tiktok i came across earlier 😋 reader is described to be smaller/shorter than nanami ,,, also, i am not sure if i am using the title right, please do lmk if i’m not so i could change it 🤍 english is a very tricky language, especially for non-native speakers like moi 😔
~
Nanami never thought of physical touch when he thought of his love language. His top 1 would be quality time. Acts of service would come a close second. But physical touch? He didn’t even think he had it in him to be affectionate with his partners through touch.
But then you came along, worming your way into his life very slowly but very surely, breaking down and through his walls, and before he knew it, he was yours. Completely and wholeheartedly yours.
And that was when he realized just how much he loved touching you and he much he loved you touching him, and how starved he actually was of affection and, well, touch.
You have been together for years now and it was safe to say that you are in the point of your relationship where you would be acting your craziest and silliest around one another without feeling embarrassed. However, you two are not very vocal with your relationship in public. Hell, your coworkers did not even know you were together until they caught you on a date one time outside of work.
It isn’t that either of you were embarrassed of each other, no. It is more like you wanting to reserve your affections for more private affairs. That did not mean he was not affectionate with you though, and you with him.
In fact, Nanami has to be touching you almost all the time. It isn’t the grander gestures like hugs and kisses. They usually are smaller actions, like your knees touching under the table as you eat together. He would often interlock your pinkies as you walk down the streets. If not that, then your hands would be intertwined. When you eat out, his hand is on the small of your back as he guides you through the restaurant door, then he always pulls out a chair for you first, guiding you to sit with, again, his hand on your upper back or your shoulder. In crowded areas, his arm would find its way around your waist, pulling you closer to him.
And when you are in the comfort of your shared home, he would often stare at you adoringly as you do your own thing, his hand moving as if it has its own mind to brush stray hair away from your face. On movie nights, your head would be resting on his shoulder with his arm is around you, absentmindedly stroking your arm with his thumb.
On his bad days, he would come home to you and would immediately pull you with him to sit on the couch, his arms wound around your waist and his head on your shoulder. Oftentimes, he would pull you into his lap just so he can hold you closer and tighter.
Even in his sleep, he has to be touching you. You would fall asleep wrapped in his arms with your head resting on his chest and you would wake up facing away from him with his arms still around you and his chest pressed to your back.
In conclusion, Nanami could not be described by other people as a touchy person, unless it’s you. If they ask you, then boy are they in for a shock.
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vivwritesfics · 20 hours
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High On Believing
Chapter One - The Anniversary
Meet Daniel Ricciardo and his wife. Two single parents meeting because of their kids. This is their story after marriage, of raising their kids, of their loving family.
(Note: yes, this is the second series of HOAF. But I'm trying to write this in a way that you don't have to read the first series to read this one)
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"Happy anniversary, Mrs Ricciardo."
"Happy anniversary, Mr Ricciardo." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her across the bed, pulling her closer. He pressed a tender kiss to her lips that soon turned not so tender.
After almost five years together, three of those years being married, she was used to it. But she wasn't tired of it. She'd never be tired of it. She leaned into it, body slotting beneath his.
Daniel pressed his chest against her own, hands cradling her head. The way he kissed her was so damn loving. She moved her fingers through his curls, pulling a damn sweet moan from his lips.
Morning sex, it had become a tradition on their anniversary. Of course, it wasn't only on their anniversary that they enjoyed a slow, sensual morning fuck as the sun crested over the trees surrounding their home.
But, they had children. Three of them, in fact.
Olivia, Daniel's daughter and her stepdaughter, came barging into the room. "Happy anniversary!" She shouted at the top of her lungs as her parents rolled away from each other, holding the blanket protectively to their bodies.
"Badger," Daniel began, tone suggesting that he was scolding her. "What're you... can we have five minutes of peace before we get up?"
But Olivia wasn't alone. Soon Milo, her son and Daniel's stepson, was running into the room behind her, with two and a half year old Beau Ricciardo on his hip.
Beau was the son they biologically shared. He was her spitting image, with Daniel's eyes and nose. When Daniel saw Beau's nose, he almost cried. But he realised just how gorgeous their little boy was, with his nose and his eyes. Their little family of five (well six, including the cat) was complete.
She tapped her phone in quick succession, checking the time. "Kids, why are you up so early?" She asked as Milo placed Beau on the floor.
Beau toddled towards his dad and made grabby hands towards him. Keeping himself covered up, Daniel picked Beau up and kissed his chubby little cheeks.
"I need to get to the track," Olivia answered.
"Crap," Daniel hissed. In his excitement for their three year anniversary, he'd completely forgotten that Olivia had a race that day. "Right, kids, take Beau and get yourselves some breakfast while your mum and I get dressed, okay?"
Even after all these years, Daniel referring to her as Olivia's mum as well as Milo's warmed her heart. Immediately, Olivia had taken to it. She didn't call her mum, just as Milo didn't call Daniel dad, but she didn't protest when Daniel referred to her as 'Olivia's mum'.
Olivia nodded. She grabbed her baby brother from the bed and carried him out of the room, leading Milo. As soon as they were outside and the door was shut, Daniel was back on top of her, giving her one final kiss.
"As soon as we're done at the track, I'm gonna put another baby in you," he whispered against her lips.
She gently pushed at his chest, pushing him up and out of the bed. "You concentrate on our girl, okay? You can concentrate on putting a baby in me later."
"That a promise, Mrs Ricciardo?" Daniel asked as he pulled a shirt over his head.
She grinned as she began getting herself dressed. "Of course, Mr Ricciardo."
Mrs Ricciardo. It had been three years and she still wasn't over it. It still had that bubbly feeling beginning in her chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, unable to stop herself from kissing him one last time.
Daniel dipped her. He had his arms around her midsection and dipped her. It was what he wanted to do at their wedding, but she was pregnant with their Beau and he couldn't. So Daniel was making up for it, dipping her, hooking her leg around his hips.
"DAD!"
They broke away from each other. Daniel hurried downstairs as she continued getting ready for the day.
Their days were set to be wildly different. It may have been their anniversary, the day they wanted to spend together, but their kids came first. Olivia had to be at the track, and Milo needed some new art supplies.
Daniel drank his coffee and held up Beau's orange juice, trying to get him to take it on his down. Beau took it, but immediately pushed it onto the floor. The lid of his cup opened easily (a testament of how many times it had been dropped before) and Daniel set about clearing it up as Olivia finished her breakfast.
"Dad, we gotta go," she said as she collected her stuff.
"Give me a minute, Badger," he replied as he used the paper towel to wipe up the juice from the floor. He placed the cup on the counter, threw away the soiled paper towels, and grabbed his keys. He threw them to Olivia. "Get in, I'll be there soon," he said and headed towards the stairs.
Daniel had just meant to shout up, to say goodbye to his wife and let her know that Beau hadn't had his juice (he threw it around, sure, but god help you if you cross Beau who hasn't had his morning juice). But there she stood, at the stop of the stairs, looking gorgeous. "Holy fuck," he hissed as she descended the stairs.
"Danny." She rolled her eyes, but he offered her his hand. Ever the romantic, he held her as he walked down the bottom two steps and pulled her into his chest.
Damn, he loved this woman. His hands squeezed her hips as he kissed her again. She ran her hands through his hair, trying to tame his curls. But there was no use, and that was just how she loved him.
Reluctantly, he pulled away from her. "Beau hasn't had his juice yet," he said as he gently rocked her from side to side.
"I can't believe you're leaving me with the monster."
The gasp Daniel let out was so dramatic, and he couldn't hide his smile. "I can't believe you just called our son a monster," he said and kissed her forehead. "He's just spirited, and that's gonna make him a future world champion, after Olivia, of course."
He leaned in, capturing his wife's lips one last time. Well, he would have kept going. Except...
"DAD! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!"
He pulled away for real this time. "Bye, boys," he said to his sons as he walked past, placing a kiss on both of their foreheads. As they all wished Olivia good luck, she and Daniel were running out of the door.
Y/N Ricciardo let out a content sigh as she walked into the kitchen. Her life really was perfect.
"What're we doing today, Milo?" She asked as she got another cup of juice for Beau. This time holding it so he couldn't throw it everywhere.
Milo finished his breakfast. "I just need art stuff, momma," he said as he began to clear away his cereal bowl. He placed it in the dishwasher and walked out of the kitchen.
His mother turned to Beau, a frown on her face. "Should we take Milo to get some ice cream?" She asked as she brushed his curls back from his forehead.
"Ice cream! Beau cheered as she took his empty bottle away.
Picking Beau up from his chair, she carried him upstairs. "Heading out soon, Miley!" She called as she gently knocked on the door. He called something back and she took Beau into his bedroom.
Beau seemed to take joy in her parent's suffering. As his mother tried to get his little legs into a cute little pair of shorts, he was kicking his feet. Some days it was a two parent job, one of them holding him still while the other slipped his shorts over his legs.
(There had been times, where Daniel was out of Australia, racing on the other side of the world, that she cried. It was stupid, but Beau wasn't letting her get him dressed and it had all gotten to be too much.)
"Not today, little man," she said and rushed to get him dressed, moving so fast that he couldn't kick off his clothes.
One she was dressed, she grabbed his bag, swung it over her shoulder, and placed Beau on her hip. She held him as she marched out of the room and walked down the hall to knock on Milo's door.
After a moment she pushed it open. There Milo was, looking through his desk, making a list of what he needed. The list was so long, things he and his mother never would have been able to afford before Daniel came into their lives.
Grabbing a backpack, Milo followed his mother out of the house. She shut the door behind them and took the boys over to the car. Her car, the car she'd had since before she'd met Daniel. He would have bought her a new car, she knew that, but she'd grown attached to the shitty little car that had gotten her and Milo around for so long.
Milo climbed into the front as she buckled Beau into the back of the car. "Momma," Milo began as she started the ignition and pulled out of the driveway. "Can we go and watch Olivia at the track next time?"
Before she pulled out of the driveway, she grinned at her son. "Of course we can, Miley. You wanna have a go?"
At that, he shook his head. He didn't want to start karting, didn't want to move on to single seaters and become a Formula One driver. That was Olivia's dream, not his. But he liked watching. Liked sitting there with his sketchbook open.
They went to the art store, getting Milo everything he needed and more. Beau made grabby hands at everything they passed, but his mother held him still.
As soon as they were done in the art store and Milo's new supplies were in the back of the car, the three of them got ice cream. Milo sat there with a Cherry Berry cone while his mother shared a cup of dairy free, vanilla ice cream with Beau. Between licks of his ice cream, Milo spoke. He spoke about anything and everything that came to mind.
And, as the three of them climbed into the car, art supplies in the boot and bellies full of ice cream, Daniel drove Olivia home from the track.
He held one hand towards Olivia, hand in a fist as he drove. "Pound it," he said and she let go of her little trophy just long enough to fist bump her dad. "I'm gonna have to put up a trophy shelf for you, aren't I?"
Olivia thought about it for a second. "I think a shelf might be a bit small, Dad," he said with a toothy grin.
"That's my girl!" He cheered and turned up the radio. The two of them sung along to whatever was playing from his phone as he drove her back to the house.
As they turned into the driveway, Olivia turned down the radio. "Dad, can we go with you to the next Grand Prix?" She asked as they pulled up in front of the garage.
"What about school, Badger?"
She pouted as she climbed out of the car. "C'mon, dad! I wanna see uncle Max and everyone," she said as she grabbed her bag from the back of the car.
Daniel gave her a look, one Olivia gave right back. The puppy dog eyes. Why had he taught her that? "I'll talk to Y/N," he said and locked the car.
Grinning, Oliva skipped back towards the house. "We're back!" She shouted the moment she walked inside. All sweaty and disgusting, she strode towards the kitchen and placed her trophy on the table, placing it on top of Milo's new sketchbook.
"So," asked Y/N as she turned away from the sink. "How did it go, Liv?"
Before Olivia could open her mouth, her father placed his hand on her shoulder. "Shower first, Badger. And then you can tell them all about how brilliant you were."
Olivia let out a groan, but she headed upstairs, headed towards the bathroom.
Daniel strode towards his wife, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. "She was great," he said with a smile before he kissed her. "We've got a future world champion on our hands.
Her arms were around his neck as she kissed him again. "We'll go with you next time," she said, fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck.
Daniel grinned. He kissed her cheeks and her neck, keeping his arms around her as he turned towards his boys. "What're you drawing?" He asked as he looked over Milo's shoulder.
Milo pushed his sketchbook to the middle of the notebook, letting Daniel see what he was working on. It was incredibly cool, a comic strip that took inspiration from Jurassic park. His son was talented, but Daniel knew that already. "Say, Mi, d'you think you'd wanna design my next helmet?"
***
Mr and Mrs Ricciardo didn't need some big, fancy anniversary dinner. Not when they had their kids with them.
Milo sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, putting his new pencils to good use. Every few minutes he was turning back towards Daniel, before turning to the piece of paper in front of him.
The television was playing as the rest of the family sat on the couch behind him. Beau sat on his father's lap and Olivia was against the arm of the chair, tucking into her dinner.
It was a special one, the five of them tucking into the Chinese. The food was crap and they all knew it, but they were happy.
Daniel picked Beau up as he stood. He sat Beau down in his mother's lap and leaned down to kiss her. "Happy anniversary, Mrs Ricciardo," he whispered.
"Happy anniversary, Mr Ricciardo."
But then Daniel was covering Beau's ears as he leaned closer to his wife. "Think we can make another?" He whispered in her ear.
She reached out and smacked his shoulder. Daniel just laughed and kissed her head. "I'm not saying yes, but that's not a definite no," she said as he picked up their plates and took them back to the kitchen.
Suddenly, Milo and Olivia were staring at her. "What's not a definite no, mum?" Milo asked. He looked at Olivia and back at his mother.
The embarrassment was written on her face as she shook her head. "Nothing, kids. Let's just watch the movie, yeah?" She said and ran her fingers through Beau's curls.
Mrs Ricciardo loved her little family.
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ghouljams · 11 hours
Note
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRKGJeM5/
This is so Ghost and Goose coded
It's his own fault for making the biggest damn babies on the planet. 99th percentile, you were buying toddler clothes at six months for your first girl. He makes it look so easy picking up your daughter that you always forget how heavy she is when you go to get her. Now you've got a second one, just as heavy as her sister growing inside you. You don't remember pregnancy being this heavy, and you can't say you missed having to pee every twenty minutes.
You're standing in your bathroom, running through your usual morning routine, when Simon finally makes his way in from morning chores. He's got dirt on his cheek and his sweat is sticking his short hair to his forehead. He looks tired, and his cheeks are getting red from the sun. He stops behind you, pressing his lips to your bare shoulder as his hands come around you to cup your pregnant stomach. And blissfully lift the weight of it. You nearly moan at the feeling, leaning back against him. His thumbs stroke your stomach, his head still dropped against your shoulder. God you feel like you can actually stretch your back, take a full breath, and feel your muscles stop screaming at the (loving) burden of your second child.
"Oh my god that feels good," you groan. You can feel the line of Simon's smile against your skin.
"Girl's 'eavy," He mumbles. You nod, enjoying the reprieve from carrying your giant husband's giant baby.
"You wanna just hold 'er up the rest of the pregnancy?" You ask, too hopeful for it to be entirely joking.
"Mah arm's starting to get tired," He jokes back.
"Imagine how my back feels." You tip your head for him to kiss your jaw, your cheek, the corner of your mouth. Simon hums, his hands stroking over your stomach. "You feel her moving?" You find yourself hopeful, eager to bring him into the "magic".
"Footie star, this one." He agrees. You grin, and brace yourself as his hands leave you to turn the shower on.
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aestrayla · 3 days
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cherries or peaches? pt. 2 ft. obey me! datables
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summary: do they prefer ass or boobs? ft. obey me! datables x f!reader
cw: HIGHLY suggestive, mdni, fluff??, pet names (sweetheart), fondling, groping, grinding/humping, semi-public but no sex, licking, stripping, MY HUMOUR..
word count: 1.4k
a/n: thank u so much for the love on the first part, im so happy to be able to write these hcs, they’re such a fun idea. i got a bit carried away and some of these turned into half-ish fics but i hope u enjoy this version just as much as the first ♡
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diavolo loves ass. the end.
just kidding.
ever since arriving in the devildom, student council meetings had always been a bore to you. you were never able to understand the complex topics of the “worldly problems” discussed, which often led to you staring out into space.
but ever since you got close to diavolo, things had changed.
“keep it down, y/n,” diavolo whispered through clenched teeth, as he kept a beaming smile glued to his face.
you let out a peeved groan. how the hell were you supposed to keep quiet when he kept rocking you back and forth on his lap like this?
despite your squirming, his hands never left you as he pushed and kneaded at your ass under the table. his hard-on evident as it ground against your clit, eliciting hushed whimpers from your lips.
in many ways, doing this was beyond worse than just zoning out, one wrong move and the whole student council would probably never look you in the eye again.
to make matters worse, diavolo insisted that meetings can’t start unless you were up here, in his lap, at all times.
“dia, i can’t do this anymore,” you whimpered under your breath.
“it’s almost over soon, sweetheart. just a little longer ‘n then i’ll make you feel good, hm?”
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it might not be obvious at first, but barbatos loves boobs.
hearing that he was the “greatest pastry chef in all three worlds” has always been something that intrigued you. it wasn’t until you tried them for yourself that you realised that this statement was far from being a lie.
it was only a few weeks ago that you asked him to teach you a few of his recipes, you had never seen so much delight in his eyes. “oh that would be great, y/n! i’ve always been looking forward to the day you’d ask me so.”
as you slam the door to the oven, a gust of the hot air blows against your face, “how long should these be in the oven for, barbs?”
“thirty minutes should be fine. do you mind adding some of that sugar over there into this bowl?” you set the oven timer to thirty minutes before scurrying over with a measured bowl of sugar, pouring it into the bowl of fresh cream.
“perfect, could you whisk up this cream for me while i go find the vanilla?”
“sure.” he hands you the whisk before poking his nose through the cupboards in search of vanilla.
as you were whisking, you let your mind wander. gosh, i can’t wait to try this when it’s done… but dang i lowkey wonder when he’s gonna let me in his pants already… a few wet splatters across your chest had snapped you back to focus, “oh shit— i spilt it on me!”
the clank of the whisk dropping to the countertop had barbatos rushing towards you.
“oh goodness me, you’ve made a mess!”
“i know… fuck i’m sorry. i’ll just get a tea towel and wipe—”
before you could finish your sentence, barbatos had stopped you. his body crowding up against yours as he leaned in. holding you by your waist, you could feel his kitten licks swipe against your chest, even reaching as far down to the cleavage of your boobs.
you started to feel hot and dazed as the sweet aroma drifted through the kitchen, while he started to suck harshly against your skin, fingers creeping up to caress you’re boobs. soft pants began to leave your mouth as his tongue worked across your chest, but before it could escalate any further, he had pulled away.
as he stepped back, wiping the corner of his lips, you were left completely flustered, “oh wow, the cream without the vanilla tastes really good, you might just have a talent for baking y/n!”
“uh-huh…” you muttered, staring at him dumb-found and wide-eyed.
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simeon is secretly a big fan of boobs, so today was a big treat for him.
it was the weekend, he had scored a pair of free tickets to the amusement park, and of course decided to bring you along. it was a leisurely day however, the rides and attractions he decided to do were almost too tame for your excitement.
dragging him along, you spot an attraction that seemed to catch your eye. handing two tokens to the employee, you quickly rushed into the tank, simeon freezing, clearly stunned and confused about what was about to happen. “hey y/n, what’s going on?!”
taking a seat on the tiny platform you point to the target beside you, “can you hit a bullseye?” you winked.
the employee hands simeon a ball, “you’ve got three tries, buddy.” after a moment of hesitation, he throws the ball, hitting the center of the target with a loud smack.
you let out a small shriek before getting submerged into the tank of water. “oh my— Y/N!” simeon rushes towards the tank, quickly pulling you out from the water. you let out sharp breaths before giggling, “your aim is amazing!”
“is this your idea of fun?!” his hands reach up to hold both sides of your face, turning it from one side to the other. “you’re not hurt are you?”
you smile sweetly, flattered by his concern, “i’m fine simeon, it was fun, really.”
he sighs, “good, alright.” his eyes travel over your body checking for any scrapes before widening at the sight of your chest. the water had soaked your white shirt completely, revealing that you were wearing nothing underneath. your round nipples were perked up from the cold water while your shirt was clinging onto your wet skin.
gasping even louder than before, in a flimsy last-minute attempt to cover you up, he slaps his hands over each of your boobs and although it works in his favour, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“don’t laugh y/n! we need to get you a new shirt, or at least a sweater!”
you pull him towards you by his collar, your lips mere inches away from touching, “so are you gonna help me take this one off first?” your purr.
his hands race to cover his reddened face, “w-wait that’s not what i—!” upon realising your boobs are on display again, he slams his hands back over them, “y/n!” he whines.
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two hours in, and it was blatantly obvious to solomon that this tutoring session was going nowhere.
you weren’t understanding any terms or concepts of the topic at hand and with a week to go before your final, it seemed like solomon was more worried about this than you were. surely it isn’t because you’re too distracted sitting in his lap, right?
he clears his throat, “how about this…” you slowly lift your head up from the palm of your hands, clearly distressed about your upcoming failure. “for every question you get incorrect, you remove a piece of clothing.”
you raise your brows, intrigued, “and for every question i get right, you remove a piece of clothing?” you stare back at him.
“exactly, and for that answer…” he slowly shrugs off his blazer and places it behind his chair, “i’ll remove this.”
in hopes of this becoming a motivation for you, he began to quiz you with a mini questionnaire. “what are the three ingredients used to make the elixir of cerebral stimulation?”
you internally face palm because you knew jack shit about brewing potions, “uhhh… newt legs, unicorn hair, and frog mucus?”
solomon clears his throat ubruptly. “um, no. the correct answer is powdered unicorn hoof, bittergrass root, and caladrius blood.”
you look down in embarrassment before removing three pieces of clothing. only four minutes in and you’re left in nothing but your underwear and bra.
“last and final question, what covered the devildom when it was first created?”
“…darkness?”
“…unfortunately, that is incorrect. the correct answer is a forest.”
you groan. you haven’t gotten a single question correct and embarrassment was evident as your face was flushed. you turn to face solomon, “at this point, why don’t you choose what i take off?”
your pretty face staring up at him, teary and doe-eyed had him swooning. slowly standing up and pushing your back down onto the table, he stared deliriously at you. papers were scattered everywhere and textbooks were crumpled open. your legs were wrapped around his waist as his hands gently pulled the straps of your bra down your shoulders.
staring at your bare chest he murmurs, “i’m obsessed with these,” before diving straight in.
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a/n: haven’t written in about 5 months so excuse how rusty my writing has gotten.. but nonetheless, thank for reading this far, luv you all ♡
©2024 aestrayla. do not modify, copy, translate or share.
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mangowafflesss · 3 days
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Suite 141
Wrote this in the middle of a zoom meeting, unedited nonsense :)
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When people speak, you always listen - even if you’re not meant to. You just can’t help it when you overhear someone talk about what happens in the walls of the hotel, especially at night or in the secluded suites on the top floors. 
The VIP floors are somewhere you’ve never stepped before but you’ve had your fair share of meeting some of the guests at the front desk. Handing them their keys with a polite smile which either is reciprocated or ignored with a grumble. 
One night you finished talking to a guest on the phone and saw a group of men coming in your direction. Putting on that false smile, you welcome them in - using the sickly sweet voice your boss loves to hear. 
The first man settles his elbow on the edge of the desk and looks at you side on. “Our usual suite” he holds out his hand for you to place the keycard into his hand but you stand there with a confused look etched onto your face. 
“I’m sorry sir, do you have a reservation?” you say and look at the other men behind him for help but are only met with silence. 
He turns his head towards you and no matter how many times you deal with guests, your fingers instinctively fiddle together in search of comfort. 
His eyes drift from your face down to your chest and you stand as still as a statue as he reads your name from your name badge. He says it a few times before tapping his fingers on the desk and pointing to the computer in front of you. 
“Price. Suite 141” 
It takes you a few moments to understand what he is talking about before quickly typing into the keyboard. His information pops up onto the screen and give him a brief glance before turning around to where you keep the cards.  
You hear a hushed conversation behind you and a faint “You’ll leave her alone” hits your ears. The deep gruff voice unrecognisable. 
Turning back around, you smile brightly and hand the man a couple of the same keycard. “If you need any further assistance, I’m happy to help. Have a pleasant stay gentlemen” 
They take off towards the elevators, deep in conversation with one another. When they disappear behind the golden doors, you let out a deep breath and tidy your already clean desk to keep your mind occupied with the night ahead. 
Thirty minutes later, the front desk rings and your manager picks it up - as it is a VIP room calling. You listen to the conversation and hear your manager stubble over her words which usually never happens. “Sir she- yes, I’ll send her up” 
She puts the phone back on its receiver and turns around before passing you a shiny card “Mr Price wishes you to see you. Suite 141. Don’t embarrass me” she threatens before going into the office leaving you alone to deal with the situation.  
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heartcereql · 2 days
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heaven is a place on earth with you
art donaldson x fem!reader || soft moments in your fresh new home
cw: smoking, minor cursing, no use of y/n (1240 words) a/n: writing about my sweet baby art during finals bc why not
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you swore you could have stayed like this forever. tangled in silky bedsheets, soft rays of light that tingled on your face, body pressed against art's. one of those moments you wished you could pause and settle in for an eternity.
the mattress was on the floor, and cardboard boxed were scattered all around your apartment. your apartment. it felt blissful to say it. a life awaited you there, between the beige and baby blue walls that screamed for another hand of paint. it was far from the ideal, but it was perfect because it was yours. art's and your world. didn't it sound so pretty?
you looked over at him. eyes closed, lips slightly parted, his head a blond mess of curls and his skin warm despite the moring breeze that slipped inside the room through the opened balcony. art looked otherworldly. he always did, in your eyes. and you felt like the luckiest woman on earth with him, because he looked at you, because he touched you, because he loved you. because he felt for you what you felt with him.
and you two were fucking living together. the thought was enough to bloom a grin on your lips. a pure, joyful smile that made you want to jump and dance all around. pressing a feather-like kiss to his temple, you sat up, careful to untangle yourself from his arms and slinging over one of his standford t-shirts.
you reached over to your bedside table- well, the brown leather suitcase on which you had left some stuff. a provisional nightstand, let's leave it at that. you took a cigarette out of the box, holding it between your lips as you grabbed the lighter and your sketchbook and pencil.
the cool air of the early morning greeted you as you stepped out onto the balcony, goosebumps appearing all over your skin. you lit the cigarette with the pink lighter art had gifted you on your fourth date, all that time ago, when you mentioned you kept losing all your lighters. it was safe to say you'd kept this one. it had fake rhinestones forming your initial on one side. you recalled thanking art with a very excited hug and an even more excited peck.
"you made it?" you had ask him, the glint in your big eyes almost matching the glimmer of the rhinestones under the streetlamp. when art nodded, you gushed, hugging him again. "it's beautiful, art, i love it."
"i'm so glad," he smiled. you looked ethereal, all the eagerness painted on your face, cheeks rosy from the cold, babbling about how sweet you found it.
"hey, do you have any more rhinestones left?" you asked.
"yeah, yeah, here," he handed you the stickers, watching you start putting some more on the other side of the lighter. "what are you-"
but he was shut as he guessed the shape of his own initial, a very shimmering 'A'. once finished, you showed it to him proudly.
you both broke into laughter, cheeks flushed and hurting from the smiles, but it didn't matter. not when you felt so safe around him. and certainly not when he pulled you in for a kiss.
taking another drag of the cigarette, you traced your fingertips against the initials on the lighter. call it luck or fate or whatever, but none of the rhinestones had ever unstuck from where you both had originally placed them.
you sat on the beach chair that you'd placed on the balcony last night, before getting trapped between art's arms and lips, and getting lost in him. tipping the ashes off of the end of the cigarette, you opened the sketchbook. it was actually another of art's little thoughtful gifts that he loved to give you, and you loved to receive.
on the first page of it was a sweet little dedication art had written.
'for my angel girl, so you can be an artist and carry me always with you (get it? because i'm ART and you're an ARTist? so funny, i know.) love you forever baby <3'
it always made you smile when you read it, and reach over to kiss him for no apparent reason, leaving him a curious, flushed mess.
on the page you were currently at, there were some seashell doodles from your last trip to the beach. art had picked them out for you, and peered through the whole process with his head resting on your shoulder. beneath the collection of seashells was a watercolor drawing of art's beautiful, dual colored eyes, and a little sketch of a couple of figs.
looking over, your eyes settled on the pastel colored laundry your neighbors in front had hanging and swaying lightly with the dawning breeze.
your traces were fast but precise. soon, the laundry was replicated under your pencil. shirts and pants and socks and even a bra. the cigarette dangled from your lip, forgotten amidst your concentration.
you were so absorbed in drawing little daisies on the socks you didn't hear the sheets rustling as art stirred awake, or his soft footsteps as he approached you. thus, when you heard his voice, you were startled for a second.
"hey, artist."
you turned to him, eyes big. the movement was so sudden the cigarette fell to the floor.
"hey, art," you smiled, setting down the sketchbook and pencil and standing up to greet him.
his hands were on your waist in no time, pulling you in for a kiss. you nuzzled your head onto the warmth of his chest, running your hands on his back.
"morning," you looked up to him. art smiled. god, that smile. it drove you crazy, made you weak at the knees. your soft fingertips drove up to trace his smile lines, trailing down to his jaw in no time.
he tucked some strand of hair behind your ears, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "were you drawing?" art asked, spinning you around so you both faced the view, his arms around your waist.
the sky was not fully blue yet; pink and purple hues shining over the horizon.
"mhm," you hummed. "i want to colour it later, will you help me?"
"of course, baby," he mumbled, pressing kisses to your cheek.
it was something silly you two did sometimes. after pouring you both some coffee (you made it for art the way he liked, as he prepared yours as he'd learnt from several coffee dates), you'd pull out some colour pencils or sharpies and paint the little doodles you had drawn.
"hey," art whispered. "we live together."
you smiled. "yeah, we do. it's perfect."
art huffed at that. "the walls are on the verge of falling apart. and the people from the bar downstairs were noisy as fuck. and the shower-"
"shut up," you playfully hit his arm, rolling around again to face him once more. "it's you and i. sounds perfect to me."
he gifted you another smile. "you're right. it's ours. that's more than enough."
was this your own personal heaven? you found yourself thinking that often, as you got lost in his always tender eyes, or the sound of your laughters together, or the tingles he left on your skin, or the way you loved each other. as he lifted you up and carried you inside for your first breakfast at your place, you were sure of the answer. yeah, of fucking course it was.
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© heartcereql, 2024 || thank you for reading ! 𓆩 ♱ 𓆪
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Text
Plain & Simple
Nico Hischier X F!Reader (first love au)
a.n: I enjoyed writing this a little too much. the beginning may seem like its dragging on but let's be real, who wouldn't be stuck talking to Nico forever. also, Nico will be getting his own masterlist SOON.
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, flirting, not proofread, screaming, fuckboy Nico, eventual angst, eventual smut.
Word Count - 3,434
masterlist link
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The air was filled with expectation, guests found their seats around the grand ballroom, their jewels glimmering under the dim, pale blue lighting that cast a serene ambiance over the opulent affair.
On the stage, a distinguished older gentleman with salt and pepper hair and a crisp tuxedo stood tall, commanding the attention of the well-heeled audience as he cleared his throat into the mic.
"Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, his voice smooth and rich. “Welcome to the Gilded Gala, a celebration of our shared commitment to making the world a better place," he began, his voice rich and resonant.
"Tonight, The Jersey Devils and crew gather here to support a cause that is near and dear to all of our hearts – the well-being of our community's children of newark."
The guests nodded in agreement, the diamonds and sapphires adorning their necks and fingers catching the soft light as they shifted in their seats.
"Through your generosity, we have the power to transform lives, to provide the resources and opportunities that will allow our young ones to thrive and reach their full potential," the speaker continued, his gaze sweeping across the captivated crowd. "Together, we can be the pillars of hope that these children so desperately need."
As he spoke, the attendees leaned forward, their eyes shining with a newfound sense of purpose. The air was thick with a palpable energy, a shared desire to make a tangible difference in the world.
Y/N sat towards the back of the grand ballroom, at a smaller, vacant table near the bar. As the distinguished representative continued his impassioned speech on stage, Y/N yawned, lifting a delicate hand to politely cover her mouth.
Reaching back down to the crisp, white tablecloth in front of her, Y/N whisked her glass of water back into her hand, swishing the ice cubes around the cup absentmindedly. Her brow furrowed slightly as she took a sip, seemingly unimpressed by the grandiose nature of the Gilded Gala thus far.
Nico sat across the room, his eyes drifting around the grand ballroom, bored out of his mind by the proceedings on stage. As his gaze landed on the disinterested figure of Y/N towards the back of the hall, he couldn't help but steal a glance in her direction.
Casting a quick look at his teammates, Nico wondered if they had caught him eyeing up the oblivious girl. For a moment, he contemplated simply looking away, but Nico was not one to be so passive.
Clearing his throat, he turned to the group and mumbled some lame excuse to his friends, "Hey guys, I'm gonna go get a refill. You know how it is - gotta stay hydrated at these stuffy events." He quietly pushed his chair out and stood up.
With a casual wave, Nico sauntered away from his friends, his gaze fixed squarely on the disinterested young woman seated alone.
Adjusting his tie and smoothing a hand over his meticulously styled hair, Nico took a deep breath and began to walk over to Y/N's table, muttering some words of encouragement to himself as he went.
"Hi, I'm Nico," he purred, his voice thick with a heavy accent that Y/N couldn't quite place. Extending his hand, he offered her a confident smile. "And you are?"
"Y/N," she replied, looking Nico up and down appreciatively as she placed her smaller palm in his, returning his firm handshake. "Why do I recognize you?" he asked, still holding her hand.
The lights from the stage illuminated Nico's strong, chiseled features, and the intoxicating scent of his cologne wafted into her personal space.
"We work together," Y/N said confidently, meeting his intense gaze. "I work around the social media side of the Devils. Interviews and stuff. I don't think I've been told to interview you yet, but it's nice to finally meet you."
Nico's lips curled into a playful smirk as he held her hand, his thumb gently caressing the back of it. "Well, Y/N, I'm surprised we haven't crossed paths before," he purred, his voice low and sultry.
"I make it a point to get to know all the lovely ladies in my orbit." He leaned in slightly, his dark eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief.
"How long have you worked for the team?" Nico questioned, leaning in closer with what Y/N thought was feigned interest.
"It's only been a few months, maybe two," she replied, gesturing for him to sit down. "What brings you over here? Do you come here often?" she asked jokingly. Leaning back in her chair, Y/N studied Nico's features, taking in the sharp lines of his jaw and the warm brown of his eyes.
Nico chuckled and sat down next to her. "This is my first time actually at a Gala event. One of my teammates dragged me along to this," he admitted, pointing over to a few of his teammates standing by the bar, drinks in hand. "I'm pretty bored, honestly."
Y/N couldn't help but notice the way Nico's gaze lingered on her as she took a sip from her glass. There was something about him that intrigued her, though she couldn't quite put her finger on it just yet.
Leaning in slightly, Y/N crossed her legs and turned more towards Nico, her body language open and inviting. "So you said you do social media and interviews for the Devils?" he asked, his deep voice sending a subtle shiver down her spine.
"Yeah, stupid skits and whatnot," she replied, emphasizing the word 'actually'. "I like the idea of interviewing and making videos that you guys would actually enjoy. Some of you can be really funny underneath all that sweat and ice."
Nico chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "What, you think my on-ice interviews are bad?" he asked jokingly, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
Y/N nudged his shoulder playfully. "Not bad, they just lack," she admitted. "Like, Jack's interviews - couldn't pay me a million bucks to sit there and watch him be miserable. The fans should get to know the real you."
Nico chuckled at Y/N's playful nudge, caught off guard for a moment by the easy rapport that was developing between them. "So, you want me to be completely honest in one of your interviews? Is that what I'm hearing?" he asked, raising a playful eyebrow as he leaned back in his chair.
"Preferably, yes," Y/N admitted sheepishly, glancing back and forth between Nico and the speaker on stage. As she spoke, Nico's gaze dropped momentarily to her lips, and Y/N noticed the faint hint of a shy smile playing on his features.
Absently, he reached up to rub at the spot on his jaw where his facial hair used to be, the gesture somehow endearing. Around them, the speaker bid his farewell and stepped down, signaling the end of his monotone drawl.
Nico also turned his attention to the stage, waiting patiently as the audience erupted into applause. Once the speaker had stepped off the stage, he turned his focus back to Y/N, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Finally, now it's time for free drinks for the rest of the night," he joked, shifting his chair to face her more directly.
"I will happily indulge in that. Mind if I join you?"
Nico chuckled and looked away for a moment, pretending to ponder his response. "I suppose so," he said playfully. "But you'll owe me in return..."
Y/N couldn't help but smile at his teasing tone. "Deal," she replied, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Nico pushed out his chair and stood, offering Y/N his hand with a warm smile.
She accepted it without hesitation, and he held on to her fingers as he began to lead her over to the bar, stealing occasional glances at her as they walked.
Once they reached the bar, Y/N turned to the bartender. "Vodka sour, please," she requested politely. Glancing up at Nico, she added, "And he'll have...?"
"Uhh, a shot of whiskey, please," Nico chimed in, looking down at Y/N with an amused smile. He maintained his gentle grip on her hand as they waited for their drinks, savoring the close proximity and the charged energy that lingered between them.
"Whiskey, plain and simple," she mumbled under her breath with a smile, "I like that."
Y/N felt drawn to the confident way he carried himself, almost leaning against his broad shoulders as she looked up at him. "What can I say? I know what I like and I stick with it," Nico said with a playful shrug.
"Plain and simple is what you like?" Y/N asked, her tone subtly flirtatious.
Nico grinned and nodded. "Yeah. I like most things plain and simple," he explained. "I'm not a fan of all those fancy, fruity cocktails. Whiskey is my go-to, and I doubt I'll change my mind anytime soon."
"Mhmm," Y/N hummed, watching Nico curiously for a moment before glancing away. His sly smile widened as he noticed the way she was studying him, clearly intrigued.
"You look like you want to ask me something," Nico said, his voice low and inviting as he tried to read her expression.
Y/N felt a flush creep up her cheeks at being so transparently captivated by this charming stranger. Tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, she met his gaze boldly. "Maybe I do," she replied, her lips curving into a coy smile. "But I'm not sure you're ready for the questions I have in mind."
Nico's eyes sparkled with a hint of challenge. "Try me," he murmured, leaning in ever so slightly. The air between them crackled with palpable tension as they waited for their drinks, both eager to see where this flirtatious exchange might lead.
Y/N smiled coyly, pulling her hair away from her face as she spoke. "It'll have to be a question for another time," she admitted.
Nico raised an eyebrow, feigning frustration. "You're really gonna leave me guessing until later, are you?" he said, though the mischievous glint in his eye betrayed his true feelings.
"Guess you'll just have to ask me on a date if you wanna see me again so bad," Y/N retorted boldly, catching Nico momentarily off-guard. For a split second, his eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly composed himself, trying to hide just how flustered this entire interaction had made him.
"Is that what you want, then? A date?" Nico asked, a smirk playing on his lips.
Y/N met his gaze, unintimidated. "Yeah, that's what I want," she replied, a playful laugh escaping her as she saw his calm demeanor.
Nico took a step closer, his imposing presence sending a subtle thrill through Y/N. "And if I say I want the same thing? A date with you?" he asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.
Y/N felt a flutter of anticipation in her chest as he loomed over her. "Then I'd stop with all this teasing and say yes," she replied, her voice soft but confident.
Later that evening…
Y/N practically burst through the front door of her apartment, keys and purse flying everywhere as she stumbled inside. Placing a hand over her racing heart, she fought to contain the smile that threatened to spread across her face. Her body fell back against the door, and she had to stifle a giddy giggle.
"Oh my god," she breathed, her cheeks flushing with heat as a dull warmth blossomed in her chest. Heather, who was calmly standing in the hallway, jumped at the sudden commotion, watching her roommate with a perplexed expression.
Heather began to slowly back away, attempting to spare Y/N the embarrassment, but it was too late. Y/N's eyes flew open, and she spotted her friend.
"Heather!" Y/N cried, kicking off her heels and barreling towards her, grabbing her arms with a vice-like grip. Heather's pale skin reddened at the intensity of Y/N's grip.
A massive grin threatened to split her face as her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "I can't even... I don't even know what to say!" Her eyes went wide with alarm as Y/N came barreling towards her, grabbing her arms with a vice-like grip.
"I met a guy, well, I know of him, but he came up to me!" Y/N practically yelled, her eyes wild and sparkling. "That guy, the one I've been telling you about forever - he actually came and talked to me! I told you I could pull him, and you didn't believe me, Heath!”
Heather's eyes widened in surprise, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Wait, wait, slow down!" she exclaimed, trying to pry Y/N's hands off of her. "What happened? Give me all the details!"
Y/N took a deep, shaky breath, her grin refusing to fade. "Okay, okay, so I was sitting there, right? Just minding my own business, and suddenly he just appears in front of me!" she recounted, her words tumbling out in a breathless rush.
"And he introduces himself, and he's even more gorgeous up close, Heath! And we talked, and he was so charming and funny and-"
She paused, letting out a high-pitched squeal that made Heather wince. "And he asked me on a date!" Y/N squealed, her grip on Heather's arms tightening once more. "Can you believe it? I told you I could do it, and I did!"
Heather's eyes widened even further, a mixture of shock and excitement washing over her features. "No way! You're serious?" she gasped, a wide smile finally breaking across her own face. "That's incredible, Y/N! I can't believe it!"
Y/N nodded emphatically, her grin practically ear-to-ear. "I know! I'm still shaking from it all," she admitted, finally releasing Heather's arms and bringing her hands up to cover her reddened cheeks. "It was just... oh my god, Heather. It was perfect."
 …
The incessant, piercing blare of the alarm clock shattered the tranquility of Y/N's slumber, ruthlessly ripping her from the fictional scenarios she had been indulging in.
Memories of her enchanting encounter with Nico the previous night had been dancing through her subconscious, a fictional narrative that she had been reluctant to let go of, even as the harsh realities of the waking world came crashing back.
Despite the mere 12 hours that had passed, she found herself giddily anticipating the potential of a future date with the charming athlete.
Jolting upright in bed, Y/N's eyes flew open, darting around the familiar confines of her bedroom. The soft, plush comforter pooled at her hips, momentarily disorienting her as she struggled to regain her bearings.
With a surge of energy, she flung the covers off, her feet hitting the cool hardwood floor as she rose from the comfort of her mattress.
Crossing the room, Y/N approached the imposing expanse of her closet, a contemplative hum escaping her lips as she began to mentally sift through her wardrobe options.
Tapping a finger against her chin, she examined the array of colors and textures, determined to craft the perfect ensemble for the day ahead.
Suddenly, the melodic chime of an incoming text message drew her attention to the nightstand, where her phone lay. Y/N felt her stomach flutter with excitement as she caught sight of Nico unsaved number displayed on the screen, her heart quickening its pace in response.
"Morning, what's your favorite coffee? I can grab you coffee after my morning run and meet you in the media room," the messages read, the words eliciting a surge of giddiness within her. Hastily, Y/N began to compose a reply, her fingers dancing across the touchscreen with a sense of urgency.
Yet, just as quickly as the initial excitement had bubbled up, she hesitated, a wave of uncertainty washing over her. Glancing at the time, she realized only a minute had passed since Nico's message had arrived.
Unwilling to risk appearing too eager or desperate, Y/N decided to wait a measured five minutes before responding, taking a deep, steadying breath as she forced herself to redirect her focus back to the task of selecting the perfect outfit.
A coy smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she immersed herself in the process, the prospect of spending more time with Nico fueling her determination to look her absolute best.
The dull, ebony hue of her heart had been ignited, a vibrant spark of anticipation and possibility now burning brightly within her chest.
The sleek, metal gate guarding the VIP parking lot slowly raised, the motorized mechanism whirring to life as Y/N's car approached. Gripping the steering wheel, she glided her vehicle through the open entrance, the tires crunching lightly against the asphalt.
She navigated the winding ramps, Y/N expertly maneuvered her car into an available spot towards the far end of the second floor.
Turning off the engine, she sat for a moment, taking a deep, steadying breath before reaching for the door handle. As she stepped out, the brush of her polished boots against the concrete echoed through the largely empty parking structure.
Y/N's brisk pace carried her with purpose towards the main entrance, a vibrant glow practically radiating from her being. The corners of her lips were turned up in a bright, beaming smile, as if she were practically bursting with joy and anticipation. "Morning," she greeted the security guard stationed at the x-ray checkpoint, her voice warm and cheery.
Passing through the security screening, Y/N entered the bustling facility, her eyes scanning the activity around her. A handful of players had already arrived, taking advantage of the early hour.
Some lingered by the expensive, gleaming coffee machine, chatting quietly amongst themselves, while others worked out in the nearby gym, the rhythmic thud of weights and the squeak of sneakers filling the air.
Weaving through the activity, Y/N made a beeline for the media room, the familiar place she called her workplace. Nico was nowhere to be seen, so she plopped down at her desk, her fingers flying across the sleek computer's keyboard as she hastily logged into the system.
Glancing down at her watch, Y/N noted that nearly five minutes had passed since her arrival. Huffing out a soft breath of frustration, she pulled back the delicate fabric of her long sleeve, her eyes fixed intently on the timepiece, silently willing a text from Nico to appear.
Suddenly, a pair of strong arms appeared in her peripheral vision, placing a pristine white coffee cup directly in front of her. Y/N's head snapped up, her heart racing with anticipation as she turned to face the source of this unexpected gesture.
"Come here often?" Nico joked, stepping back from the polished wood desk and allowing Y/N a better view of him. His typically styled hair seemed a touch messier today, the longer strands at the top falling in a rather endearing way across his forehead.
Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight of him. "Only when the captain's around," she flirted back, pushing her chair away from the table and turning to face him more fully. She was utterly transfixed by the way his tight-fitting compression shirt did little to conceal the toned musculature of his arms.
Feeling suddenly self-conscious under his gaze, Y/N looked away, biting coyly at her lower lip.
Nico chuckled, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a playful smirk. "Der Kapitän kann es kaum erwarten, dich auszuführen," he said in rapid German, his deep voice rumbling with amusement.
Y/N blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the foreign words. "What did you say?" she asked, her brow furrowed in curiosity.
Nico's smile widened as he repeated the phrase in English. "I said, 'The captain can't wait to take you out,'" he translated, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief.
Y/N felt a flush creep up her cheeks at his bold statement. She ducked her head shyly, her lips curling into a coy smile. "Is that so?" she murmured, peeking up at him from beneath her lashes.
Nico chuckled, taking a step closer to her desk. "Well, I certainly hope so," he replied, his voice low and inviting. "After all, I've been looking forward to getting to know you better."
Y/N's heart quickened its pace as he leaned in, the fresh scent of his cologne enveloping her. She clutched the coffee cup in her hands, taking a steadying sip as she met his intense gaze.
"I have to say, the feeling is mutual," she admitted, her tone equally flirtatious. The air between them crackled with palpable tension, and Y/N found herself utterly captivated by this charming stranger.
Oh yeah, she could get used to this.
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