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crimeronan · 1 year

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been thinking about the rabies condition in writing lately, which is a GREAT post about stakes and characterization. basically exploring how if there's a 100% chance a character is doomed, then they can and will do extremely dangerous/damaging/contraindicated things for the slimmest hope of survival. which is one of my Favorite narrative devices

but while we're using health metaphors, i've been thinking about another somewhat complicated means of introducing character stakes, which i'm tentatively calling 'the autoimmune condition' for reasons that are. obvious

the premise itself is simple: the character has Something that they need to survive. they either can't live without this thing or they will lose something vital about themselves if they lose this thing. there is no replacement or alternative for the thing. what's most important are that the consequences for losing it are Extreme, rabies-condition-style

in the real life allegory, this is the immune system. which is great for being alive!

then the problem is introduced when this thing starts killing the character.

the character still needs it to live.

so: there is a 100% chance that you will die if you destroy the thing killing you. if you impair it through other means, there is a 100% chance of consequences, though the severity of those consequences is up to the author. (these are medication side effects in the real life allegory.)

if you do everything you're supposed to then you'll PROBABLY survive, but you're gonna have to play lifelong tug-of-war to balance everything, and you are often going to have to choose between two shitty options. bc there is no alternative.

this is a counterpart to the rabies condition in terms of stakes; with this condition, your character has to make complicated and difficult decisions about what they're sacrificing for their future. it's not the immediate life-and-death stakes of rabies, it's a slow decay instead.

what side effect consequences are they willing to take on?? and what are they NOT willing to take on?? where do their priorities lie in terms of symptom management?? what other solutions are they looking for?? what are they willing to sacrifice??

and perhaps most importantly: what exactly do they need to lose before they'll Accept the side effects / sacrifices that used to terrify them?? how high do the stakes need to be??

at what point is this character going to look back at the choices they've made up to this point, and realize that they no longer recognize themselves??

#have had this on the brain bc every medication i take or have taken related to my illness has a LAUNDRY LIST of terrible side effects #like most of them are only prescribed for very short periods of time #and the only reason they're ever prescribed for long term maintenance is if like. you will actually literally die otherwise.#you would not BELIEVE the side effects i'll weather to get my brain back. give it to a character #torment them. theres so much room for complication and messiness here. it's great #autoimmune tag #writing #writing advice #i guess?????#hopefully this is coherent. i tried to keep it concise #long post

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puppyeared · 4 months

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man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

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gamchawizzy · 1 year

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[ OFF Game ] Grind culture

#off game #off mortis ghost #elsen #off elsen #rpg maker #i was a kid when i first played this game and now i'm viewing it thru the eyes of an adult and WOW #been thinking about the themes of conformity + anxiety + mental illness and how it thrives in workplace culture and consumerism #bread and circuses (or sugar and carnivals) distracting the elsens from the dangers of their work and the long-term stress it causes

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spectrumgarden · 2 months

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Every time I see someone say "& that's why I'm not getting diagnosed" in regards to some sort of discrimination against an autistic person by police / government / the judicial system / health care system / school system ... it's like. It just hurts. I get so jealous. I needed a diagnosis so I could continue to attend school with a 1-1 support worker. I needed a diagnosis so I could get my disability ID, which is the only way I can take public transport on 2 routes by myself, & the only way its possible for someone else to accompany me everywhere else without it costing a fortune. I needed a diagnosis so my AAC device would be covered. I needed a diagnosis so specific autism therapy would be covered. I need(ed) a diagnosis so my at home care would be covered.

I wish it could've been my choice whether I'm at risk of legal discrimination...

#actually autistic #autistic adult #autistic community #medium support needs #actually disabled #aac user #semiverbal autistic #negative #in theory some of these should be accessible via mental illness diagnoses. didnt stop me from being denied for years though when those were-#- my only diagnoses... & without this help i likely would've ended up long term institutionalized...

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hools · 1 year

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cats club comic cover concept 🐈

#my art #my ocs #CATGIRL-ADJACENT #original #cats club #<- about time i start tagging them as cats club #started out as just something to draw on stream but turned into something cool i think (-:#DOES NOT mean ill be doing something Big/Long Term with cats club anytime soon i just thought it was fun to conceptualize

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arthursfuckinghat · 2 months

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Do you ever think about if the Saint Denis bank robbery didn't go wrong, Hosea would have outlived Arthur?

#hosea was ill but whatever he had was clearly a much longer term illness compared to how rapid arthurs illness was #hosea likely had a few years in him but tb would have taken arthur long before then #and with how the story goes #well...#yknow #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #hosea matthews #red dead redemption 2 spoilers

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allthecanadianpolitics · 3 months

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Ontario’s Court of Appeal is allowing a class-action lawsuit to proceed against the minister of long-term care for alleged negligence regarding the government’s response to COVID-19. The four lead plaintiffs lost their parents to COVID-19 or related complications in 2020 and allege that while the province knew by the end of January of that year that residents of long-term care homes were particularly vulnerable to the virus, the government didn’t enact protections until it was too late. They allege, in claims that have not been proven in court, that thousands of deaths and illnesses could have been prevented if the government had acted sooner.

Tagging @politicsofcanada

#cdnpoli #canada #canadian politics #canadian news #ontario #long term care #covid 19 #health #illness #class action lawsuit

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myalgicencephalomyelitiscfstom · 1 month

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#chronic illness #Disabled #long term illnesses #chronic life #chronically ill

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mumpsetc · 3 months

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youtube

Daisy Bell 13: I'll Write You a Song

#Electric Remains #Daisy Bell Electric Remains #ER Daisy Bell #Electric Remains Daisy Bell #Dreamy Art #I Am Physically Shaking as I Type This This is the Biggest Project Ive Ever Done Ever #Thank You Everyone Even Tangentially Involved Thanks ER Contestants and My Friends and Family and Followers Thank You Everyone #This Has Been an Insane Journey Ive Learned So Much and I'm Proud of What Ive Done Daisy Has Been a Great Experience #Ill Probably Dub the Comics and Add Thumbnails to the Videos and Upload Everything on Youtube But Thatll Be a Bit of a Long Term Goal #But TY For Everything and I Hope You Enjoy What I Have Planned Next #Youtube

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schizopositivity · 1 year

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what to expect when being admitted to a psych ward (this is from my own personal experiences of being admitted to a mixed involuntary/voluntary facility and a valuntary facility, both for adults, both holding people of all genders):

•when being admitted they are going to ask you a lot of personal questions (mental health history, drug use, triggers, etc), sadly you will have to get used to talking to strangers during your stay

• when they tell you the name of the facility try to remember it, you might be asked where you are later to check your awareness

•they will take your picture for the records

•they will confiscate your phone (this is to ensure that you cant take pictures of other patients)

•they will confiscate all other belongings you have on you and keep them until you are discharged

•they will confiscate your clothes and shoes and have you change into scrubs and the famous grippy socks

•you might be strip searched to ensure you arent hiding anything and to take note of any distingushing birthmarks, scars, tattoos, etc (in my experience this was done by someone who alligned with my sex assigned at birth)

• you will probably have a physical medical exam or just talk to a dr about you medical history and what accomidations or meds you may need during your stay, you may be subjected to blood and/or urine tests

•the doors will be locked and you wont be able to walk out anytime (even in voluntary you have to go through the discharge process before leaving)

•if you use nicotine, depending on the place they will either provide you with nicotine patches/gum or allow you to have cigarette smoke breaks (you have to provide your own cigarettes or have visotors bring them to you and they dont allow vapes because they cant monitor what is in them)

•obviously no recreational drugs or alcohol is allowed

•the place itself will feel bland and clinical (think hospital but devoid of anything you could hurt yourself with)

•you will probably have your vitals checked everyday like compression arm cuff, heartbeat finger monitor and temperature taken

•you might have to wear a face mask at all times in the facility

•if you have a wristband from a hospital you can ask staff to cut it off for you

•you may or may not be roomed with other people (i was roomed with a female since i am afab nonbinary, idk how they room binary trans people)

•the bathrooms will either have a curtain or a door you cant lock (this is for your safety)

•depending on the place and your risk, you will be monitered by staff (in the mixed facility they had to physically see me every 15 minutes, just come into the room and check off a clipboard)

•there will be a front desk that is staffed at all times, feel free to approach and ask for things, ask questions or even ask if they want to play board games with you

•there will be a schedule for meal times and activities, it will be the same every day

•the food will be cafeteria food, think hospital or school cafeteria or possibly worse, they will already be aware of any medical dietary needs of yours but from what ive witnessed they do not do the same for religous or personal dietary needs (like a friend i made in the ward asked if the food was hallal, the staff didnt know but encouraged her to eat it anyway) they will also let you opt out of the prepared meal for something like a sandwich or snacks

•they will also have snack times in addision to the meals, but if at any point you are hungry, ask staff and you might get an extra snack or sandwich

•there might be coffee, it will probably be decaf, and the hours they serve it might be limited

•there might be patients who scream, cry, swear or have psychotic breaks

•there might be patients who are detoxing that might gag, puke or cough repeatedly

•there might be patients with visible self harm/suicide attempt wounds or scars

•there might be patients who are violent and/or sex offenders (the staff should keep you safe, but a patient hurting you is a possibility)

•if you have an outburst or hurt yourself or others, you might be physically handled by staff, given sedatives agaisnt your will, placed in solitary confinement or all three (this should only be done when nessasary to keep you or others safe, if the staff do this without reason or otherwise abuse you, you should report it to police when you have the chance)

•if you cry you will probably be left alone, staff might ask if you want to talk to them

•there will be cameras inside the facility but not in bathrooms, and depending on the place not in bedrooms either (this is for safety, so in the event of abuse there will be proof, i witnessed a patient to patient assault in the ward and the police used the footage to convict the perpatrator)

•there will be landline phones you can use, there may be limited phone hours, and they may limit your time on the phone, the phones are placed by the front desk so staff will be able to listen in on your conversations, they will let you write down phone numbers while you still have your phone during intake so that you can have the numbers later when making phonecalls (in my experience the time limit depends on the staff thats around so some will let you talk as long as you like)

•the phones you use will not allow you to call 911, if you are having a medical emergency you should inform the staff if possible (they will treat you or take you to a hospital if nessasary), if you need to report a crime you should ask the staff to call the police or otherwise file the police report after discharge

•there will be communial TVs with limited hours, you will need to ask the staff to operate the remote (one ward only had cable and the other one only had DVDs and us patients took turns choosing the movie)

•there will be daily group therapy, depending on the place it could be manditory (in the voluntary ward i asked why i hadnt seen any group therapy like the schedule said, and they said no one was asking to go, so i asked and i was the only person in the group therapy lol)

•they might have activities like yoga, art therapy, craft time, music time or other things (if you see it in the schedule you can ask them to tell you when its happening)

•there might be outside time in a fenced off area or there might be no outside time at all (this is for safety)

•the windows might be frosted, tinted or have a dotted film over them (this is for privacy)

•there will probably be activities that you can always access like coloring pages with crayons and/or colored pencils, puzzles, board games and paperback books

•you will get your clothes you came in back probably the next day, they might wash it

•visitors can bring you clothes but it has to have no strings (like drawstrings or shoelaces) no metal bits, and no graphic or offensive prints on clothes

•jewlery is not allowed unless its a piercing

•visitors can bring you books as long as its paperback, and journals as long as it doesnt have a metal spine, and other safe activities like paint by sticker books

•visitors cant bring blankets or towells, that will be provided by the facility

•anything visitors bring has to be checked by staff before they can give it to you

•you might not be able to recieve calls unless the person has an access code that they will provide for you, so you have to call first

•there can be meetings with visitors, it could be limited to certain days of the week or certain hours, your visitors may be subjected to a search, and your visiting time might be monitored by staff

•you will be given your psych meds as normally perscribed, they may have you open your mouth and lift your tounge after you take them to show that you actually swallowed them, you might be able to meet with a perscriber to get a med change

•you will probably have short daily private appointments with a counselor, this wont be as in depth as therapy but rather a way to check your progress, it could even just be like "on a scale form 1-10 how depressed are you?"

•you can still have any phone/telehealth appointments you already had planned, just inform staff and you might be put in a private room with a computer

•ask staff for things! like deoderant, toothbrush, toothpaste, blank paper, to print out an image of something that can cheer you up, honestly anything just ask

•ask staff if you want to shave, clip your nails, or apply makeup, you will probably have to do it in front of staff at the front desk

•for showers ask staff for towells, shampoo, conditioner and maybe body wash (the shower usually has a soap despensor in it) the shampoo and stuff will come in little cups, also if you can, ask for extra towells to place on the floor for when you get out

•your shower time might be limited, the shower probably wont get very hot (to avoid people burning themselves) and it will probably be a timed button that sprays water for 30 seconds at a time so youll have to keep pressing it to shower long enough

•the bed will probably not be very comfy, like thin foam matresses and scratchy sheets

•you can ask the staff for over-the-counter meds like ibuprofen, laxatives, sleeping pills, etc

•the days will feel long, try to keep yourself occupied with activities and phonecalls

•i encourage you to talk to the other patients! you can connect and relate to people in simular situations, older mentally ill people with experience, and just to make friends while youre there (ive even witnessed two men agree to have a romantic relationship only during their time in the ward, they called eachother "hospital boyfriends")

•i encourage you to journal about your experience and feelings while youre there

•how long youll be there really depends on your situation, although both times ive gone they said the usual stay was one week or less and thats how long i stayed both times

•they may require you to do certain things before you are allowed to discharge like get a med change, improve your mood, set up appointments with drs or counselors in the future, get stabalized on meds or show recovery in other ways

•even if you are voluntary, you will need to go through the discharge process before leaving like signing paperwork, collecting your belongings, setting up a ride to leave, and confirming that you have somewhere to go (ive witnessed staff hire taxis, and help people apply and get into shelters)

i dont say all this to scare you or keep you from volunteering yourself into a psych ward, just to warn you about things so that you dont have to be shocked by a totally new environment all at once like i was

everyones experience in psych wards is different, every place is different, i didnt cover psych wards for people under age 18, or gendered wards, or addiction recovery wards or otherwise specialized wards because i have no experience there

but despite the bad parts, my time in psych wards has seriously helped me, it kept me safe from myself when nothing else could, literally saving my life twice, it gave me very important med changes, and it gave me experience with other mentally ill people, like the older woman who told me "as mentally ill people we cant always trust our insticts" and other advice that has helped me

it may feel bleak, it may make you feel trapped, you may feel like you dont belong there, but the bottom line is this is place meant to help you, even if just in the most basic form of keeping you safe, housed, fed and properly medicated

and remember youre still a human, you still have rights, if anything unjust happens to you there you have every right to report it to the police

#psych ward #psychiatric hospital #asylum #insane asylum #ik those are outdated terms im just tagging so people can find this #mental illness #nd #mental health awareness #mental health #mental health advice #tw psych ward #tw hospital #long post

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shoezuki · 3 months

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Okay random ramblings bout the aeons in the divinity au, the feelings/aura/sensations around them, their general vibes and their relation to sampo/aha:

Aha:

The Elation is. Obviously. About joy and happiness and revelry. But the Elation is more than that: its the extremes of emotion, absolute tragedy and bone chilling rage. Its being overwhelmed by feelings and sensations and stimulation. Its the chaos of thrills and suffering and all emotions spawned by consciousness.

As aha, they technically can experience emotions much more than most other aeons. But unlike mortals, they experience everything at once. Joy/elation is obviously the overwhelming majority, but everything else is muddled together that it becomes vague. They seek thrills and constantly fight boredom to keep joy as the reigning emotion.

(Thats why as sampo he gets. Confused by feelings and doesnt get it. Anything other than excitment or elation is something else entirely. grief or nostalgia or anger or love or jealousy, its strange. As a human, he experiences emotions individually and simply, which makes it more... precise. Its sharp and direct.)

Aha is laughter, drunken singing, tragic comedies and bells and drums and every instrument and orchestras and people preaching into crowds. They're frilly clothing and theatre masks and splatters of paint and childrens toys and buttons and whistles and confetti. (They also like birds a lot lately)

Would create puppets to see through so theyd go watch plays and movies and concerts. If they liked them a lot they'd keep the show to themself, stealing it from everyone's minds and making it so it no longer exists for anyone but them.

Aha is the most sociable with all other aeons. They send out 'messages' to other aeons constantly. Only Qlipoth responds.

Aha's 'messages' are usually limericks, poems, songs, highly emotional words that echo out in frequencies only Aeons can feel/hear

Aha particularly likes qlipoth because they can put up with a lot of aha's shit before getting pissed. They have a weird morbid interest in Nous and tries to make Nous talk in something other than questions. Aha also likes poking at Lan and then running from The Hunt

(No wonder Sampo delights in the chase, almost getting caught by gepard time and time again)

Qlipoth:

Ancient and so massive they makes Aha look like an ant. Theyrepowerful and so, so overwhelming. Their presence even affects other Aeons; theyre a constant feeling of pressure, like youre buried under mountains or at the bottom of the ocean. Aha is largely immune because they visits qlipoth a lot and they just powered through the pressure

Qlipoth likes? Aha. At least as much as qlipoth is capable of liking anyone. Aha doesn't know why, but its because exactly 3489 amber eras ago Aha started stacking cool rocks and meteors they found on the celestial wall and altho they meant it as a game to see how many rocks they could stack before qlipoth got annoyed qlipoth took it as Aha helping build the wall. And qlipoth Never Forgets

Qlipoth existed before emotions, before consciousness. They existed when the universe was dark matter and atoms pushing against one another and stars barely shining. When there was nothing but rock. Theyre not alive, not conscious. They just Are.

They harbours a strange sense of protectiveness for Aha. It might be because Aha is the only glimpse of emotion they get. They dont feel much beyond a need to build the wall when aha isnt around, and the messages aha sends are like little tastes of feeling they indulge in.

Qlipoths 'messages' are never in words or anything straight forward. Its entirely a sensation, a nudge, a pressure, a rumble across the cosmos. (Normally Aha can take qlipoth's messages no problem. But now that he's sampo, qlipoth's messages sometimes bring him to his knees.)

Qlipoth is substance, they are insurmoumtable, theyre physical form and matter itself. They are bigger than anything humans can imagine, made up of the first material from the creation of the universe, metals that no longer exist, planets and astroids and celestial bodies

Lan:

Lan was human once and rose up from the Xianzhou due to his absolute unwavering desire to destroy the Abundance; unlike aha, he very much remembers being human before his ascension

He is narrowed down to a specific, narrow focus on destroying the Abundance. He's the rage and anger and bloodlust of humanity condensed into that one goal. Unlike Aha his form is not nearly as vague, he's a large endlessly moving centaur and everything he does is deliberate and with precision.

Doesnt give a shit or even consider anything else or any of the other aeons. As long as they don't get in lan's way

Second to Aha and akivili, probably closest to humanity. Rage and revenge are all he is now, but its still very human of him.

The aeon of the hunt is focus, its bloodlust and rage and suffering sharpened onto a deadly point. The Hunt is wind and speed, the path of a predator.

Lan hates Aha but also long as they dont get in his way they dont bother with aha. Unfortunately aha loves pushing Lan's buttons, poking and prodding until Lan snaps and rains arrows at Aha.

Aha doesn't realize it, but they are capable of instilling emotions in other Aeons and especially aha just by being around the elation. Lan hates it, hates being shaken from his narrow desire to destroy Yaoshi by feelings of annoyance and frustration and even sometimes amusement that Aha causes him.

Lan doesnt send messages across the cosmos and he ignores any that Aha sends to him. But if he did it would be a direct shot, instantaneous, a sentence or even single world like a punch.

Frankly, Lan could probably strike Aha down in one shot or at least wound and scatter them. The few times Lan gives in to Aha's badgering and hunts them down he doesnt try nearly as hard as he could. If Lan actually gave in to Aha's presence and the emotions they reawaken, Lan would realize he actually enjoys their cat and mouse games.

(When Aha causes some weird shit, like infinitely duplicating bodies or worms that stretch infinitely, they always Always call to Lan and pin the blame on Yaoshi. Lam isnt stupid, he knows its not the abundance and Aha just getting Lan to clean up his messes, but Lan does it anyways)

#honkai star rail #sampo #only tags ill do #divinity au #was gonna talk bout nous too but its long already #this is kinda like a guide for myself agskdbdgdk #god. i love the aeons #in the bones #ive always held the hc that aha isnt Just elation but rather the extremes of emotions #in psychological terms he's heightened arousal #because physiologically theres not much difference between excitement and fear and rage

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painsandconfusion · 2 months

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Something's Not Right

Whumping the Whumper - Part Thirty-six

(tw: internal bleeding, death threat, illness, long term captivity, concussion, bruises, gun, murder mention, nonsexual nudity)

[Previous | Masterpost | Next] [Chronologically following this scene]

Four years ago...

“E-Ethan? Ethan wake up..-”

Ethan stirred at the light poke to his thigh. He groaned, stretching against the cold concrete before squinting open his eyes. His arms instinctively snaked around Johnny, pulling his warmth closer. His head was throbbing- he pressed the ache closer into Johnny’s shoulder to bury it away again.

“N-no, Ethan. Please.”

His eyes fluttered open, squinting down at Johnny in the moonlight. He looked…scared. Must have had a nightmare again.

Ethan swallowed the grogginess from his throat and reached up to brush a few stray locks of hair from Johnny’s forehead. “What’s wrong?”

Johnny stared up at him, eyes shimmering. “Som..something’s not right. It’s wrong and-” Johnny’s voice cracked as a tear leaked from the corner of his eye. “It’s just…wrong.”

Ethan’s brows pinched together. “Why don’t you try to get back to sleep? It always hurts worst right away - maybe when you wake up-”

“-no, it’s wrong.” Tears were dripping steadily now. Johnny’s quick, shallow breaths pressed against Ethan’s chest.

Was Johnny always this warm?

Ethan sat up, looking over Johnny. He was bruised, sure, but..he’d woken earlier and Johnny was alright. Not…completely alright, of course. But…healable. Crawford had used his fists, the damage was mostly to his thighs and torso. No broken bones, no sprains, just deep, aching bruises.

..Ethan tried to pull him a little closer. “Some more sleep sh-”

Johnny pressed his palm against the ground, tugging himself free from Ethan’s arms. “I-I don’t know what it…what it is. Something…something’s not right…”

Something akin to fear started to curl in Ethan’s stomach. No. Weighed it down. Sour and heavy and hot, pressing against his mind. He sat the rest of the way up, too, folding his arms around Johnny. He kissed the back of his neck.

…Johnny was sweating.

In this cold??

He gripped Johnny a little tighter. “Does it hurt?”

Johnny reached up, clutching Ethan’s fore-arms. One hand clamping down, the other resting lightly. “Yeah, it’s…yeah.” Johnny swallowed. “It’s wrong. Something’s wrong.”

“Okay, okay I…I hear you.” Ethan didn’t know what to do. He rubbed his thumb up and down against Johnny’s shoulder. “What does it feel like?”

“..just...wrong.”

“Does…it hurt more than usual?”

“...Um…I think so? No. Wait. Not…not more, jus- … different. I can’t…everything feels wrong.”

Ethan’s hand presses against his forehead. “..is it any particular place?”

Johnny’s breath pulled out in a whine, hugging Ethan’s arm closer. “...e…kinda everywhere but…b-ut ‘specially here-” he made a vague gesture over his abdomen.

Ethan frowned, extracting himself from Johnny’s grip. He carefully picked at the hem of Johnny’s shirt, carefully pulling it up and off of him. There were no goosebumps despite the chill that must have just washed over him. Sweat clung to the shirt, making a sticky sound as he forced it off Johnny’s skin.

Ethan’s eyes slid back and forth over the bruises that just barely showed up as an outline in the sprinkling of moonlight that worked its way into the basement. His brows pinched, worry starting to churn through him.

..Crawford hit too hard. He knew these symptoms, Johnny was bleeding where he couldn’t see.

Ethan pulled the shirt back down, praying to the first handful of gods he could think of that it would clear up within a couple days. At least one god had to listen to him, right?

“..is…is i-t okay..?”

Ethan looked helplessly over Johnny, hand lifting to cradle his face. “..I don’t…I think so - I do. But..I really think we should get you a doctor.”

Johnny laughed- but the small, spiteful sound immediately sputtered out into a small whine, breaths immediately falling faster and shallow. “Hh-hhhe w-on’t- n-no way-”

“...Just let me ask.”

Johnny’s head tilted into Ethan’s palm, cradling it there with his own. “...o-kay..”

So much for his headache. Is it still considered a headache when it’s a concussion?

In any case, so much for his concussion.

Ethan leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Johnny’s forehead before dragging himself up and toward the stairs. He took them three at a time until his fists bruised against the door with the force of his banging. “HEY ASSHOLE-! GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE-!”

Johnny rolled his eyes through labored breath, propped against the wall. “...h-e’s not gonna come- it’s like fffour in the morning.”

“He will if I don’t shut up-” Ethan turned back to the door, hammering on the wood again. “CRAWFORD, YOU SLIMEY BITCH WE NEED A DOCTOR-!”

Ethan paced, shouting up and out into the house he couldn’t reach for almost twenty minutes, his own head reeling and spinning damn near off his shoulders each time he screamed up to the well known abuser and an unknown god in tandem.

Finally, finally, the bastard showed his face.

The door slammed open the moment it was unlocked, gun pointed at Ethan.

Ethan took a hesitant step backward down the stairs, eyes on the gun. He never got that out.

“What. The fuck. Is wrong with you,” Crawford bit out, all but drooling venom.

Ethan lifted his hands. “We need a doctor- you fucked up Johnny too much.”

Crawford scoffed, starting to close the door. “I didn’t do anything different, go the fuck to sleep.”

Ethan stepped forward, bracing one hand against the door so it couldn’t close. “No, wait- I’m seriously h-”

The sound of the gun cocking cut off his sentence. “He’s. Fine. You were a little bitch when you first got here, too. Deal with it.”

“He’s bleeding internally!”

“And who’s fault is that?”

Ethan froze, memories of running skittering across his mind. Johnny’s screams. Crawford’s cursing. Guilt curled fresh into his blood.

Swallowing down emotions and pride, he tried again. “...please. He needs a doctor.”

“I will kill him if you don’t shut the fuck up. He’s fine. Keep pushing it and he won’t be.”

Rage flickered across Ethan’s eyes, but he let his hand fall from the door.

In a moment, it slammed in his face, deadbolt snapping back into the frame.

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(tags: @prisonerwhump @whumpawink @paleassprincess @wormwriting @distinctlywhumpthing @whump-cafe @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @azayta @batfacedliar-yetagain @there-will-always-be-blood @siren-of-agony @whumpworld @bandages-andobsessions @deltaxxk @whumpasaurus101 @pickywhumpreader @whumpberry-cookie @morning-star-whump @nailevislev @throwawaywhumper @the-mourning-star @d-cs @pigeonwhumps @hold-back-on-the-comfort @suspicious-whumping-egg @snakebites-and-ink @whumpedydump @orphans-parent @whumplr-reader @rainbowsandwhumperflies @starfields08000 @sunnyesunny)

As always, lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!

#internal bleeding #death threat #long term captivity #concussion #bruises #gun #murder mention #nonsexual nudity #whumping the whumpers #ethan #johnny #crawford #ethan and johnny #illness

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