#like ya. it’s a pretty movie ! but also god damn everything besides that just fails to come together | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peach-pops · 4 years

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Roommate HC

Request: hi i love ur account! do u think u could write a HC with kuroo, oikawa, and bokuto on how they would be as roommates! thank you!

Author’s Note: This request had me dying thank u so much! I made this to be platonic but if u guys want a part 2 to make them like each other/you want to see other roommate hc with other characters, let me know!

Warning: mentions of sex, adult language, reader thirsting over iwaizumi cause same

Pairing: Kuroo || Oikawa || Bokuto

Part two

-Kuroo-

You can only be roommates if you’re hella close with Kuroo because if you’re living in a closed space together, shit is bound to happen. He’s basically you’re best friend so nothing is off-limits.

Exhibit A: Shower rants

“ And I told her to mind her own damn business before I kicked her ass!” You said loudly as you sat on the counter of the sink while Kuroo was showering

“ You liar I know you didn’t say all that. Also, can you hand me my toothbrush?”

“ Mm, okay, I didn’t say it but I was thinking it!” You grabbed Kuroo’s toothbrush and opened the curtain to hand it to him,” it’s the thought that counts but then she told me that I was being a bitch! In front of the whole class!”

Kuroo opened the shower curtain to poke his head out,” She called you a bitch in front of the class? What a fucking bitch.”

I feel like Kuroo sleeps in a bit and waits until the last second to wake up so you’re basically his alarm clock

Your favorite way to wake him up is to just bash his head with a pillow until he grabs it from you and hits you back with it ten times harder

“ I think you gave me a concussion.”

“ I- It’s a pillow, you big baby.”

Getting ready in the morning is always pretty chill since Kuroo practically rolls out of the bed, looks at his hair, and decides yep, this is stylish

If he has extra time in the morning, he’ll sit on your bed and watch you do your makeup/hair as you tell him your schedule for the day just cause he can

Can we please remember that Kuroo is a big nerd so that means a lot of all-nighters at the dinner table. If you know he has a big test coming up, you order takeout from his favorite restaurant and you have to physically sit across from him so he actually takes a break to eat dinner

Sometimes he falls asleep at the table while studying so you always grab his phone to set a 15-minute alarm because while he needs to sleep, he also needs the time to study too

On chill days, Kenma usually comes over and the two play video games until the middle of the night. While they’re always super loud, that’s a lie it’s just Kuroo, but whenever they get too loud you come out of your room and you just glare Kuroo down

“ What’s wrong with your face?”

“ My face? This face will be the last thing you ever see if you don’t shut the fuck up. Kenma sweetie, ✨you’re doing great✨!”

OH okay this is just a bonus

so your upstairs neighbors are like bunnies if ya know what I mean. Like they go at it 25/8 and you and Kuroo can’t stand it because how are yall supposed to concentrate

One night while you and Kuroo are watching a movie, you can literally hear your neighbors having crazy-ass sex and Kuroo gets so petty. He grabs a broom from the kitchen and starts hitting it against the ceiling like

‘ Shut! The! Hell! Up!”

“ STOP! What if they get mad?”

“ Who cares? I haven’t had sex in months. If I can’t get laid than no one can get laid!”

“ I don’t even want to think about you and *gags* sex in the same sentence.”

So all in all, Kuroo is probably the easiest roommate to have and you two just work so well together

-Oikawa-

Oikawa isn’t as bad as a roommate as people might think. He’s surprisingly clean and not only does he clean up after himself but he always cleans up after you. He will sass you on how messy you are though

“ Y/N-Chan, I can’t even see the floor to your bedroom, you’re disgusting! I can’t even look at you the same way!”

“ If it’s bothering you then get the hell out of my room!”

“ Your room is a biohazard, how can you live like this?”

“ I SAID GET OUT SHITTYKAWA!”

There’s only one bathroom in your apartment so it’s always a battle to get ready in the morning. His side of the sink has way more stuff than you and you even try out some of his products if they happen to find their way to your side

You can’t even hide it from Oikawa because once you leave the restroom, he notices right away

“ Are you wearing that SPF moisturizer I bought from that new skincare store the other day?”

“ Wha- how did you know?”

“ I can smell it you rat, stop using my skincare products!”

He says that but the next day when you wake up to use the restroom, you see that he bought you your own moisturizer and there’s a sticky note on it ‘ because you desperately need some’

Oikawa also always manages to lose his glasses in the morning so when he’s late, he always wakes you up to help him find his glasses which are somewhere around the apartment

“ Bitch, how hard is it to keep it next to your nightstand before you go to bed?”

“ I forget” 🥺👉🏼👈🏼Oikawa pouts as he squints back at you cause he’s a blind bitch

If Oikawa is your roommate, that definitely means Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki are always over. One time in the middle of the night, you went to go get a glass of water and you screamed so loud when you saw a dark figure sleeping on your couch

Your heart literally dropped to the floor but when you squinted your eyes, you could make out that it was Hanamaki just crashing on your couch

Thank god, you actually thought there was a stranger-

What you didn’t know was that Matsukawa was sleeping on the floor of the living room and you tripped over his huge, built ass body

“ Y/N? Is that you? Are you okay?”

“ I’m fine-”

“ Ow! Y/N, that’s my hand!”

“ Shit! Sorry- wait, Hajime? Is that you? What the hell-Who else is sleeping here?”

“ Meeeee!”

“Toru?!?! What are you doing out here?” You asked as you turned on the lights to find all four boys camped out in the living room. TF is this? Summercamp???

“ Duh, it’s a sleepover! Wanna join? You can lay next to me Y/N-Chan!”

“ Fuck no you weirdo. Except for you Hajime😚 my room is always open for you!” 🤩🥰🤪🤰🏻

Oh speaking of frick fracking, you and Oikawa have a solid rule that if you’re planning on having sex, please let the other roommate know so there’s not a repeat of that one incident you’re not allowed to speak of

Toru: Can you be out of the house from 8:30-9:30? I’m bringing someone over👉🏼👌🏼

Y/N: You bastard I was going to bring someone over!

Toru: Oh yeah? Who u trying to fuck?👀👀👀

Y/N: Hajime 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Toru: STOP THIRSTING AFTER MY FRIENDS

Y/N: BUT IT’S TRUE LOVE!

Besides all of that mess, Oikawa is such a fun roommate. If yall could live together forever, you definitely would because the banter never stops between the two of you, yall are like an old married couple uwu

-Bokuto-

JESUS you two take a while to mesh

You two are best friends so when he suggested to move in together, you were all for it

But it just took some getting used to

Bokuto wakes up sooooo early to go run and this means blasting music in the shower at 5am & him blending the shit out a smoothie in the kitchen

One time, this dude barged into your room around 5:20 in the morning and had THE AUDACITY to ask if you wanted to go run with him

“ I feel bad leaving you here in the apartment alone, what if you miss me?”

“ If you ever wake me up this early to go run out of all things, I will shave your head do not test me owl.”

He never asks you again don’t worry but he does walk in your room to whisper, rather loudly, that he’s leaving to go run just to give you a heads up

On some mornings when he knows you’re going to have a long day at school, he’ll make you breakfast and it’s actually super sweet cause you two will eat together in the kitchen and talk about what the plan for the day is

If he’s ever too lazy to make breakfast, he’ll grab your favorite pastries during his run and bring it home cause he’s just that type of person

Bokuto is a bit messy and you find yourself cleaning up after him a lot but he makes up for it by being an absolute sweetheart

He assembled all the furniture in the apartment because he likes building stuff and he claims it’s manly. Don’t Mind my language but ✨U couldn’t give a shit ✨about building furniture so you were 100% okay with it

Akaashi came over to help put the couch together and that was arguably the most entertaining thing you had ever seen

“ Bokuto-San, I’m pretty sure these pieces don’t fit.”

“ Akaashi! Are you doubting my ability to read and follow instructions?!?!”

“ I think he’s right, those don’t fit at all.”

*cue emo bokuto ughhhhhhh this bitch*

Whenever Bokuto gets emo at home, you drop everything to help him get out of his funk. Not because what you’re doing isn’t important but if you don’t help, this dude will show up next to your bed full on close to crying

“ Ko, it’s two in the morning, why are you awake?”

“ Are you angry at me that I broke that plate earlier?”

“ Wha- no I’m not mad over a cheap plate. Just go to bed PLEASE!”

No matter how busy yalls schedule gets, you two always make time to have a movie night at least once a week because he claims it’s good for roommate moral

It’s just an excuse for him to snack through the pantry but whatever

He’s also the worst at grocery shopping. Like he notices all the snacks and desserts you like so he’ll buy so much of those things but will fail to get actual protein and vegetables

I know it seems like I’m shitting on Bokuto and I’m not, I feel like Bokuto would also be such a fun roommate. There are some nights where you two will dance around together in your pajamas and camp out on the couch together and those are the moments where you’re thankful he’s your roommate

But he snores so loud I’M SORRY I HAD TO SAY IT

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Okay, I knew Alistair the Dream-Keeper wasn’t the first time I’d written the idea of magically weaponized dreams, so I went hunting through old email accounts and found a whole fucking manuscript I wrote like, twelve years ago and totally forgot about. WHOOPS. (This happens with me more often than you’d think actually possible). I’m only a third of the way through my re-read of it, but it holds up surprisingly well IMO, I’m pretty pleased. I can actually do something with this, I think.

Course, it was apparently written back during my whole “every thing must be hetero otherwise there will be no publishing” period, before the beginning of my personal Age of LOL Nah, Fuck That, Everything Must Be Gay. So, first things first, Jez definitely needs a girlfriend, and also a different name. I can’t believe I named her Jez, like, wow, I was really trying to get YA Bingo, wasn’t I? In my defense, this was when I was twenty-three. Also, this first chapter here has a character named Scott and this was before Teen Wolf even premiered, so apparently I just like the name Scott? Huh. Did not know.

BURNING DAYLIGHT

Jez O’Neill knows she has three years, two months, and sixteen days to live.

She’s had visions for as long as she can remember. She knows they’re never wrong. And when the boy her visions say will someday kill her comes into her life, she knows to stay far away.

But somehow he gets close anyways. Because Nathan is perfect. He’s handsome, he’s charming, he’s utterly, unbearably sweet. And when he learns of Jez’s visions, he promises to cheat Death for her. An interest in New Age turns into an obsession with the occult, and that leads to tiny cracks in the walls of the world, where strange and untrustworthy spirits wait to barter with anyone desperate enough to try.

Magic, however, always comes with a price. The higher the reward you seek, the more you can expect to pay, and the spell Nathan thinks will change their destiny instead puts them on a collision course with Fate. It changes him, twists him in mind and soul, transforming the boy Jez loves into the madman who will someday take her life.

With only three years left until the day she now knows she can’t avoid, Jez discovers she and Nathan share the same zipcode again as he sows death and destruction in the streets of LA. But rather than flee for another city, Jez pits herself against the monster she once loved, the monster she helped create, determined to make sure no one else gets caught in the crossfire of their attempt to cheat their fates.

Call it redemption if you want. Jez calls it Tuesday.

Chapter 1

Dreams are doorways if you have the right key.

That’s why I’ve wasted a perfectly good Sunday night perched on the edge of Scott Kinley’s desk. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and I’m sure I look like a gargoyle in the pitch dark of the two o’clock hour, but every chair in his bedroom is covered in dirty teenage boy laundry. I’ll stick with my perch, thanks.

I kick my legs out and arch my spine, stretching my arms over my head with fingers laced together. Cramped and aching muscles voice their protest. Something cracks in my neck when I roll my head back. Meanwhile, Scott Kinley snores contentedly in his sleep in the bed across the room. I shoot him a glare that’s best described as withering.

Spears of pale moonlight slip through the slatted blinds covering the window above his bed. They stab the length of his body, highlighting a strong jawline and tousled blond hair, not to mention a chest and set of abs that frankly, I just find obnoxious on a fellow teenager. It’s L.A. in early September – code for unbearably hot – and he’s sleeping with the bare minimum of sheets, a loose span of cotton that’s only covering him up to his waist. I’d enjoy the cheap thrill more if it didn’t make me feel like such a perv.

After all, I’m a total stranger who broke into his house and has spent the last four hours going through his things and watching him sleep. It’s kinda hard to feel good about that. In my defense, I’m only here to save his life from a creepy magical serial killer. Course, I have strong doubts that would hold up in a court of law should he wake up and have me arrested for breaking and entering. But I still feel it’s worth mentioning.

A yawn and a glance at his alarm clock confirm that it’s 2:07 am and I have no life. I lean back on the desk and rifle through his homework some more as I go back to invading his privacy. My only defense here is I’m really bored.

His handwriting’s slightly more legible than your average garden-variety chicken scratch, but I’m still not one hundred percent his name’s Scott Kinley. The Scott part is clear, but the ‘I’ in what I think is Kinley could be a really jacked up ‘o’ I guess. Whatever. It’s a pre-calculus assignment, and the last yearbook on his bookshelf is from his sophomore year, so I’m guessing he’s a junior like me. Or like I would be, if I still bothered going to school. Hmm. Eleventh grade and already in precalc? Someone’s a smarty-pants. Interesting.

A row of trophies and a couple of team photos declare him a water polo jock, and not too shabby of one according to this MVP title. Explains the abs. I roll my eyes around the rest of the room. Small TV so old it has a VCR player built into it. An even older Sega Genesis console is hooked up to it, so either Scott’s big on nostalgia or his family’s not big on luxuries. There’s a couple of movie posters tacked to the wall, but the puddle of light leaking across the floor doesn’t reach far enough for me to make out any details. Then a freestanding bookcase, a good five shelves high, filled with actual books. Above it is a college pennant with a bear on it – I think that’s Cal Berkeley, right? Possible destination, I’m guessing….

God. And he was in bed by ten. Smart, good-looking, athletic and ambitious. Did his parents just win the baby lottery, or if I go down the hall will I find the altar they used to bargain with the Devil?

Not that it matters. I stretch my legs out again and dip my toes into the pool of moonbeams, watching them spill across my feet when I wiggle. It’s only been six months since my last boyfriend went all dark side on me and turned into a spell-wielding slaughterhouse. I’m kind of not dating right now.

So it’s only natural my visions would lead me to the most eligible teen bachelor in Los Angeles – I cast another quick look around the desk for the requisite ‘me and my girlfriend’ photo – nope, most eligible teen bachelor in Los Angeles. Ugh. It’s like announcing your diet and inheriting a pastry shop the next day. I feel a sudden urge to grab one of his dirty shirts off the floor just to make sure his one human flaw is real and not an illusion.

Wow. I can’t believe I just thought that. Apparently sleep deprivation makes me weird. Besides, there’s no way that smell could be imaginary.

I throw another withering glare in Scott’s direction. It’s his fault I’m a weird, sleep-deprived pervert in his stinky bedroom. My baleful stare bakes the air above his bed. It bends and twists like a summer heat wave on asphalt. Wait. That’s not right.

I shake my head, peering through the fog that shrouds my tired mind. Somewhere in my snooping I failed to notice Scott’s happy snores had turned into frantic whimpers. He’s writhing on his bed; sweat beads all over his restless body, glistening like fragile pearls in the faint light. The room is abruptly a sauna. Heat climbs the walls and steam mists the glass of the picture frames.

“Shit,” I whisper, and I’m in motion, leaping off the desk into a crouch. I dip my hand into my hoodie and whip out my knife, steel slicing moonbeams to ribbons as the blade springs free. A low keening shreds the silence, hoarse spectral shouts as faces flicker through the knife, reflected in the steel. I cross the room in three steps. Scott cries out. His fingers scratch at the air like crooked claws.

Somewhere a door opens, and something steps through. Between the space of one second and the next, a heavy silhouette takes shape on this side of the dream.

I slam into the figure with all my weight, blade aimed for the midsection where I’m hoping vital organs will be. The knife sinks in too easily. The sandman-born beastie is still in that transitive state where its dream wrought form has yet to shift all the way down the spectrum to vulnerable flesh. Then my knife catches and scrapes against bone. The nightmare screams as it sinks its roots into our reality and feels pain for the first time.

It’s tougher to pull the blade free, but I’m stronger than any normal seventeen year old girl has a right to be. More specifically, as long as I’m wielding that knife I’m as strong as all the monsters it’s killed combined. And I’ve racked up a decent body count. Blood and bile sprays in slow motion, a cresting wave of black tar. A few drops land on my arm. There’s a hissing sound and I feel like I’m on fire. I grit my teeth and swing again. It dodges and I miss. We both regroup, and I get my first good look at it.

Damn. Mr. Perfect Teen USA has one hell of a fucked up subconscious. I’m just saying.

The nightmare swallows what dim light comes near it, refusing to be illuminated. It’s thick, ridged with protrusions of bone and slick scales that shimmer with their own dark radiance. A trunk-like torso gives way to stocky legs. At certain angles they seem to merge into a single column similar to a snake. It has four arms, except for when it has six – and then two and then twelve and then they’re not arms at all, but tentacles. The head is a gaping chasm of teeth and forked tongue surrounded by a lion’s mane of mottled skin. It’s dizzying and hard to look at. Confusing and chaotic. The only constant is its ugliness.

I charge at it, because I’m just that dumb. Hey, only the good die young.

It dips to the side, cobra-quick, and its tail snaps out like the crack of a whip. I take the hit square in my ribs and I’m lifted off my feet, flying back across the room. My breath flees from my lungs, my head slams back into a wall. I bite my tongue and taste copper.

“Rude,” I gasp.

Scrambling up to snatch my knife from where I dropped it mid-flight, I steal strength from its macabre magic. Even still, regaining my feet takes effort and time I don’t have to spare. The nightmare’s turned its attention back to Scott. He’s finally awake and sitting up his bed. Pale, frightened, and totally out of his league. Considering we were dealing with his worst nightmare in every literal sense of the word, I cut him some slack. I’m a good person.

I roll forward and rake my cursed blade along the creature’s side on my way. It rears and screams again. Dimly I hear footsteps and distant shouting.

“What the hell is that thing?” Scott asks, eyes locked on the beastie like a man entranced. Oh good, he can talk. I was starting to wonder. I duck around the nightmare and stick myself in between it and him.

“Don’t ask me. It’s your childhood trauma,” I say, hefting my knife and gauging distance. “Now shut up, don’t die, and for god’s sake put on some pants.”

I lunge and bury my knife in the thing’s throat. I’m liking my odds less and less when it still finds the strength to knock my grip loose and drop me on my ass. More blood drips down on me, igniting nerve endings everywhere it touches my skin. Let’s recap. I have spunk, pizzazz, seven spells and a cursed knife on my side. It has burning blood, a build like a freight train, and claws and fangs that seem to multiply every time I look at it. It leans forward and roars its hostility right in my face.

Also, it has halitosis.

A swipe of its many tentacle-arms knocks me back and to the side again. I land on the floor, staring up at the bookshelf. It’s tricky reading the titles from my upside-down vantage point, but I hazily make out the collected works of one H.P. Lovecraft. That explains a lot.

“You know, there are worse things in the world than being a cliché,” I complain, glowering over my shoulder at Scott. He has the decency to look ashamed, over where he’s huddled on the other side of the desk. Course, I’m sure he has no idea what he’s ashamed of, but my tone conveys the point rather well, I think. “Seriously. The dumb jock thing. Just give it a try.”

Mano a mano isn’t working out too well for me so I switch tactics. I toss a quick ‘Hail Mary’ skyward, kick off my shoes and chant the most powerful – and dangerous – of my seven spells. It’s a nasty little sucker I bartered for in the second sphere, the Circle of Fire. I rattle off short, harsh syllables that climb reluctantly from the base of my throat, guttural utterances that were never meant to be made by a human voice. I dip my fingers in moonlight and etch glowing hieroglyphics in the air – they hang there for a moment, sharply luminescent in the seconds before they fade to black.

Staccato snaps and pops ring out. The alarm clock short circuits. Streetlights flicker and die. Every electronic in a fifty meter radius develops a sudden terminal illness and the air feels flooded. Thick and heavy with static as thousands of wayward electrical impulses conduct themselves through the atmosphere to me. I dig my toes into the heavy carpet and feel the hair on my head stand on end. Then I’m running, my nervous system supercharged with too much speed and power to contain long. I duck past the nightmare’s swinging arms – it might as well be lumbering at tortoise speed – and plant a single palm flat on its back.

My touch hits it like a thunderbolt, lightning barreling down the synapses in my arm and ripping into it with hurricane fury. It squeals and goes airborne, crashing into the desk and reducing it to kindling. Scott falls back, mouth open, and smoke wisps up from the creature’s motionless body.

For a second, I dare to hope it’s dead. It would be really awesome for me if it were. That was my most powerful offensive spell and using it comes with a one in ten chance of killing the spellcaster. So, you know. I’d really like to not have to use it again, please.

The nightmare heaves itself to its feet-tail, sending spears of desk turned firewood flying about the room. Some of the shrapnel heads my way and I cover my eyes. Splinters gouge at my palms. I peek past my fingers, and in a blur of motion the creature crosses the room and throws itself through the window. It rips through the blinds and shards of glass fountain into the hot summer night. The darkness outside swallows it whole.

“I hate you,” I casually inform the universe.

I pick past debris and make for the window. Or what’s left of it anyways. The house is on a hill, high enough elevation that glass from the window is still showering to the ground below. Chiming, delicate drops of crystal rain. City lights gleam from one horizon to the next. A pitch-black shadow makes its way across distant rooftops, dark even against the darkness, like a spreading oil stain spilling towards the downtown metropolis. Lovely.

“What the hell is going on?” Scott finally finds his voice again, but I have no time to soothe his shattered nerves or offer an introductory course on Things That Go Bump in the Night 101. I run my hands through my frizzy, static-damaged hair.

“That was disgusting, you need therapy, and the pants thing was not a suggestion,” I inform him, bending to retrieve my knife. Scott flushes and grabs the sheet off the bed. He doesn’t even try and peek at my ass. A piece of the Scott Kinley puzzle clicks into place, and I feel a tiny bit better.

“Hey, quick question. Are you gay?”

His jaw drops, but he recovers fairly quickly. “What – how did you – I mean, why?”

I shrug. “No reason. Just won a bet with myself is all.”

Hey, it’s the little things in life. I turn back to the window and track the nightmare’s course. Picking a rooftop a few buildings ahead of it, I prick my thumb and whisper a spell from the seventh sphere, the Celestial Circle. I sketch bloody sigils in the moonbeams cascading through the open window. They turn pale and faint and I grab their remnants like door handles. The silver light parts, a gauzy curtain opening on a window to a distant rooftop far below.

I cast a sigh at the bewildered boy behind me and step through. It’s probably for the best. Like I said, I’m kinda not dating right now anyways.

The curtain falls shut behind me and I resume my hunt.

#Burning Daylight #kalen writes things sometimes

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dalamjisung · 5 years

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think alike ✿ yang jeongin

genre: fluffiest fluff

word count: 2955

pairing: reader x yang jeongin

description: you had to watch over your little bother for a while, and you were scared you guys wouldn’t bond. Can his handsome teacher help?

“Mom,” You sighed one again gathering all the thrown colorful pens around the living room. “I know how to care of him. It’s okay, just enjoy your vacation and I’ll make sure Felix is still alive by the time you come back.”

“Y/N!” You mother gasps. “He is just four!”

“I know,” You chuckle. “I was there when he popped out, and I’m still here as he grows. Mom, I can take care of my little brother, it’s fine!”

“I want daily pictures as proof that he’s still breathing!” She shouts from the other side of the line. “Daily!”

“Deal,” You say, looking around the, now clean, living room. “Now go have fun. Bye! Love ya!”

“Love you too, honey. Thank you for this!” She exclaims and then the line is dead.

You laughed at how adorably worried your mother was. Felix was the newest addition to the family, coming as a surprise to everyone, but he was one of the loveliest kids you’ve ever seen. And you really did not vibe with kids, hence why your mother was so hesitant to call you over to take care of him. She knows about your uncomfortableness around kids, and tried every single other family member before she called you. You were thankful for that, but you were also kind of happy to spend more time with your bother.

Felix was born during your freshman year of college, and now, four months away from graduation, you finally had a chance to bond with your brother. You had a bunch of pictures of him on apartment on campus, but you guys never really had the time to hang out and do siblings stuff, such as go to the park, or get ice cream, or even watch a Disney movie together. You had that with your eldest brother, and those memories were the ones you cherished the most– you wanted to give Felix that same feeling… of being loved.

“Noona,” You hear a voice calling from the kitchen. He was still shy around you, and it honestly made your heart tighten on your chest. “I’m hungry.”

“Okay,” You smile and slowly walk closer to him. “What do you want for dinner?”

His little brown eyes shine with happiness. “Rice cakes! Lots of rice cakes!”

And who were you to say no to him? The only problem was that you were as bad in the kitchen as you were with kids, so you sheepishly look at him and tell him to go grab his jacket.

“Why?” He asks.

“We’re going to get the best rice cakes ever,” You say crouching down. “But we have to go out to get them.”

You remember when your parents would take you to the night market, and you thought Felix might enjoy it too. He nods his head rapidly and bolts up the stairs, making you worry he might fall. Aish, I’m almost like my mom, you think laughing to yourself. Be the cool noona, Y/N, not the helicopter mom.

“I am ready!” He exclaims and you coo at how cute he looked with a beanie and his puffy orange jacket. “Let’s go, noona! Rice cakes!”

“Let’s go!” You say grabbing the car keys, and the his tiny hand.

This would be fun. You’d make it fun.

————————

Turns out fun for you and fun for Felix are two different things. For you, it was a nice hang out time with your little brother where you had great childhood memories, eating tteokbokki, and drinking warm tea. Felix, on the other hand, was a kid, and he definitely didn’t want to sit down and drink warm tea. He ran around the place, saying hi to every single vendor, learning that cute eyes and polite ‘hellos’ got him free samples from each and every single one stand.

His energy, seemingly never ending, was exhausting to you. Your good humor was dissipating slowly as you ran after him. You promised your mom he’d be alive in a week, and you’d be damned if you failed your mission.

He was now out of sight, and you were freaking out. You couldn’t find him in the sea of people, and you hoped for a miracle to fall from the skies. Safe to say it didn’t quite fall from the skies, but more like it came out from behind the japchae stand. A boy, probably around your age, holding Felix close and mumbling things as they walked. Felix had a serious look, eyes wondering up to every single passerby, and you could’ve cried in relief as he pointed at you and shouted “Noona!”

You run to them, and look at your brother seriously. “Felix! You can’t run around like that, I was worried!”

“Sorry, Y/N noona…” He mumbled looking at his feet.

“Don’t do it again, Lix,” You say and he comes to hug your legs, hiding behind them, and curiously looking up to the man watching you both with a smile.

“I’m glad we found you,” The man says, offering you his hand. “I’m Yang Jeongin. I found this little cutie wondering alone, and got pretty worried.”

“Thank you so much, Jeongin,” You smile shyly. “I’m Lee Y/N, his older sister. It’s the first time I’m taking care of him and I’m not really good with kids so…”

“Oh, everyone is good with kids,” He laughs. “You just have to think alike.”

And you laugh because that sounds absurd. How could you think like a child? You were almost graduating for christ’s sake!

“I know it sounds weird,” He says lowering himself to look at Felix. From the pockets of his jacket, he pulls a lollipop, and your brother’s eyes shine, hands instantly grabbing the man’s sleeves. “But they are easy to deal with if you make sense to them. Adults usually don’t make sense to kids, so if you think like them, they’ll think like you.”

“Wow,” You mumbled. “You have a lot of little brothers?”

“About a classroom of them,” He laughs. “I’m a pre-school teacher.”

“Oh that sounds… fun.” You say hoping you managed to hide your shock behind a smile.

“Liar,” Jeongin teases with squinting eyes. “You don’t like kids?”

“What?!” Felix exclaims from behind you, looking at you accusingly.

Grabbing him and holding him up on your lap, you poke his nose. “I’m not really good with them, but I like this one very much.”

“Cute,” You hear Jeongin mumble, and then someone screams his name. “Oh, I have to go. It was nice talking to you, keep an eye on this one, he is very hyper.”

“I will,” You shout after him. “Thank you again!”

As he leaves, you couldn’t help but smile. There really were good people out there.

————————

“Wake up, Y/N noona, wake up!”

The voice is cute and soft, but the feet that padded on your back and the tiny body jumping on you was anything but adorable. You wanted to lay in bed forever, but unfortunately, today was Felix’s first day of pre-school, and you had to get him dressed and fed in time to make it there before 8AM.

“Hi bubs,” You mumble, sitting up. “I’m up. I’m awake.”

“Can you make pancakes?” He asks and you nod. You realize you’re bribing the kid’s love with food, but there is nothing much you can do besides that; you were afraid you wouldn’t bond with him, so giving him the world seemed fair enough.

“Yeah yeah,” You say getting up. “Let’s go.”

Somehow you manage it. The pancakes don’t burn thanks to the detailed tutorial on YouTube, he manages to dress himself properly only messing up the t-shirt once, and you guys are out the door with enough time to walk to the school. You notice so many things about Felix on the way and you cannot help but feel all warm inside. He liked cats and dogs, although he tended to carefully approach the latter; Felix would be easily enticed by butterflies and other insects, stopping on the way to watch them. His never ending energy seemed to be at its peak during the walk, and he’d run off before you, stop at a crosswalk, and wait for you to catch up patiently. He liked holding hands, even though he could barely reach yours. He liked dancing, a lot, and would always be doing a weird dance when food arrived. You took a special liking to that last fact. Once you reached the gates of the pre-school, you walked him in, confused as to where you were supposed to take him. You looked at the lists on the announcement wall and tried to find Felix’s name, but there were way too many Lee’s in that place.

“Excuse me,” Someone calls from behind you. “I think I can help.”

“Oh! Thank you, that’d be gre-“ You turn around with a large smile and stop mid-sentence when you see him– Yang Jeongin. “You again!”

“Me again,” He chuckles and looks at Felix, who in his turn, was looking curiously around him. Everything was colorful and pretty. “Hi buddy. Do you remember me?”

Felix looks at you and you nod softly, giving him the confidence to step forward and nod harshly.

“Great,” Jeongin smiles and a pretty smile that has your legs weak. “Can you tell me how old are you?”

“I’m four.” Felix says, raising four chubby fingers.

“That’s so cool, Felix,” and oh my god, he remembered Felix’s name. “That means I’m your teacher!”

“What?” You ask surprised. You had completely forgotten about his job.

“I told you, I’m a pre-school teacher,” He shrugs and smiles again. “Did you forget already? Wow…”

“No!” You exclaim a little too loudly. Embarrassed, you laugh awkwardly. “I just think this is such a–“

“Coincidence?” He nods his head, still freaking smiling. “Tell me about it! When I saw you two I thought I was being followed.”

You laugh and sake your head. “At least Felix will be more comfortable in the classroom, now that he knows his teacher…”

“I’m glad,” Jeongin says putting his hands in his pockets. “This is only the second classroom I’m in charge of… ever.”

“Really?” You widen your eyes. He really did look young; young like you.

“Yeah, I graduated last year!” He blushes a little. “Are you still in college?”

“Senior year,” You say making a face. “A few months away from graduation.”

“What are you study-“ and a shrill bell cuts him off. Time to go, you thought, and you feel a little sad. “Class time…”

“I figured,” You say and starts slowly walking away. “I’ll be back to get him later.”

“Wait!” Jeongin shouts and he walks to you in two long strides. “He’s not your kid, right?”

“What?” You laugh, surprised with the question. “No, Felix is my little brother. He calls me ‘noona,’ Jeongin!”

“I just needed to make sure!” He defends himself, hands going into his back pocket.

“Why?” You mumble, a little skeptical.

“So I can ask for your number, obviously,” He smirks and gives you his phone.

You chuckle and takes it from him. “Obviously.”

————————

It happens quickly, and in two days you guys have your first date. You are not quite sure why Jeongin felt like he was in a hurry, but you had a feeling that it had to do with Felix. Once you were ready, you called for your brother and made sure to properly protect him from the cold outside. You read on the weather report that there was a high chance for snow tonight, and the last thing you wanted was for Felix to get sick.

“… and then teacher Jeongin let us color for the rest of the class because we were doing a good job!” He rambled on and on about his classes so far. “I did one for you, noona!”

“You did?” You were honestly surprised at this point. It was clear that Felix had gotten comfortable with you, but having him making a drawing for you was something that really filled you with pride. “Thank you, Lix!”

He beams his cute smile at you and you can’t help but crouch down and hug him. “Come on, big boy, I’ll give you a piggy back ride.”

You guys laugh and talk about his new friends during the walk and you feel happy like you haven’t in a while. It’s hard to admit when you’re struggling, but college was taking a toll on you. The stress was consuming you whole and just thinking about graduation made you anxious. You didn’t really know what to do, but for the past couple of days you haven’t thought about that at all. You haven’t felt the constricting feeling of anxiety or the tired restlessness of insomnia, and you had a feeling that your brother was the reason why. Just last night, he crawled into your bed in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream, and you only noticed it in the morning, when you tried to move, but he was hugging your arm so tightly that you couldn’t.

“Y/N! Felix!” You turn your head to look at Jeongin. He looked incredible, and he was only wearing a hoodie and some jeans. Thinking about it, this was the first time you saw him look his age; young and carefree. He was standing at the entrance of the night market, where you guys first met, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Put me down, noona!” Felix asked and you did, watching him run to his teacher. “Hi teacher Jeongin!”

“Hey buddy,” and they high five. “Hey Y/N.”

You blush. “Hello.”

He chuckles and whispers a ‘cute’ under his breath, making you blush even more, and takes your hand. “Let’s go!”

With his other hand, he is holding Felix’s, and sometimes he lets go, allowing the kid to run around, but then calling him back, and surprisingly, he’d come. You guys had a fun time on the date; you ate delicious food and laughed at Felix’s antics with the food stands yet again. The talk was overall shallow, such as school, aspirations, funny stories. It wasn’t until he gave the idea to go to a playground, that you guys had time to yourselves. As Felix played, hopefully tiring him out enough so that once bedtime came he’d be worn out, you two watched him from the bench a few meters away.

“How are you feeling?” He asks and you think that that is the first time someone asked you that. “With kids, I mean. How are you feeling taking care of Felix?”

“Honestly?” You ask and he nods. “I was terrified at first. Felix and I haven’t had the chance to bond before this, so I was scared he’d hate me. But now… I don’t think I’ve ever been this calm and exhausted before.” You guys laugh.

“It’s rewarding,” He shrugs. “I obviously love kids, but I feel that there’s more to it. Watching them draw and play and learn, it’s very rewarding.”

You hum in accordance. “It really must feel great knowing you’re making a change on their lives…”

“It is,” He says and reaches for something on the pocket of his coat. “And you can feel that too.”

He gives you a folded paper, with that one smile in his face– the one he had when he looked at the kids in his class. A caring smile.

You unfold it, and you smile wide. It was a drawing of what you assumed it was you and Felix. They were stick figures with block-like clothing, but it was so beautiful. On top, it was written with careful, badly drawn letters: ‘Noona and I.’

“He talks about you a lot,” Jeongin says, scooting closer to you, shamelessly grabbing you hand again, and putting it inside of his own jacket pocket. “His older noona. He said you’re really smart and fun and pretty.”

“Did he?” You whisper, happiness overflowing.

“He did,” Jeongin turns his head at you. “And I agree. His older noona really is pretty and fun. I don’t know about smart though…”

“Ya!” You laugh, hitting him with you free hand. You carefully put the drawing on your purse, making sure to take a mental not to frame it later.

“He said he is sad that his mom is coming back, because it means you’ll be gone,” Jeongin mumbles. “And I guess I’m sad too…”

“Jeongin…” You giggle. “My college is just thirty minutes away from here.”

“Really?!” He exclaims so loud that you jump a little.

“Yeah,” You say laying your head on his shoulder. “We can see each other a lot, still.”

“I’m glad.” And his face starts getting closer and closer, until a small hand comes in between you two.

“No kissing my noona, teacher Jeongin.” Felix demands with a serious face.

You burst out laughing, placing Felix on your lap.

“But I really like her,” Jeongin fake whispers to him.

“Really really?” Felix whispers back, and you can’t help yourself. You grab your phone and take a picture of this moment; Felix and Jeongin discussing the future of your possible relationship. “But does noona likes you back?”

And they look at you. “I really like him, too,” You whisper to your brother.

“Then you guys can date!” He shouts, clapping his little hands.

“That’s a great idea, Felix!” Jeongin laughs and then looks at you, waiting for a response.

“It really is,” You say and you are just so soft for these two.

“But still,” Felix says. “No kissing my noona.”

“Why?” Jeongin asks.

“My dad says so.”

And you are pretty sure you choked on air.

#skz #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids imagines #kim woojin #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #imagines #one shot #stay

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queenborhapreaderships · 5 years

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rekindling the flame - chapter 1

Hey everybody! So this is that rami x reader (with a dash of freddie feels) I was talking about earlier! It’s not done, so I guess this is chapter 1? I’ve never cut a fic into chapters before because I’m a stubborn perfectionist but like. Eh. Ya know? Thanks to everyone who told me to go ahead and post this! Also, if anybody would be interested in a tag list, hit me up. I’ve never done one before but I think I can grasp the concept, haha! Anyways, here we go! (pls let me know if you like it, fr)

-description-

You're the daughter of Jim Hutton, so growing up was a roller coaster. With Freddie as practically a second father, things were never boring. But time passed and things changed. Everything changed. Not knowing how to process any of your past, you flee to the states in an attempt to write music and find yourself. It pretty much turns into instant isolation! That all changes when you get a call from your Uncle Bri about a movie being made on Freddie. Secrets come to light and you just might find yourself falling in love with the boy with the beautiful eyes along the way.

-word count- 2,987

ao3 link

You’re alone when you get the call. You’re alone a lot these days, but you work best without the distraction of friends pulling you out to party and get drunk every other night. Besides, you really want to focus on this latest song you’ve been writing. You just can’t seem to get the bridge right, the chord progression is off in the tiniest way and for the life of you, you can’t figure out why. Suffice to say it’s been driving you absolutely mad.

Your eyes light up when you strum the new experimental chord you’ve thrown in, but you’re interrupted by the harsh ringtone of your cell.

“Goddammit” you mumble to yourself and sigh as you put your guitar down on top of its case. You look over and feel yourself involuntarily smiling at the contact name. It’s Uncle Bri, you wonder what he’s up to these days. It’s been a while since you’ve heard from him. Too long, actually. That’s hardly his fault, you’re aware of the fact that you’re isolating yourself but you really can’t really garner up the energy to care, as bad as it sounds. You pull yourself out of your thoughts and reach over to answer the phone.

“Hey, Uncle Bri!”

“(y/n)! I’m glad I got a hold of you! How are you doing, my dear? We miss you!”

“Aww, I miss you guys too! I can’t complain! I’ve been working on my music a lot, so that’s been taking up the majority of my life at the moment” you sigh, suddenly wishing you’d have managed your time better. You really do miss your goofy Uncles.

“Ahhh, just like good ol’ Freddie, I see” you can hear the smile toying with his voice.

“I wouldn’t go as far as to say that”

“Well, I would,” he says triumphantly. “Anyways, do you have any serious, unmovable plans for the next, oh, say 8 or so months?” you can hear the grin in his voice.

“Um, not that I know of...” you say, although it comes out more as of a question

“Perfect! Then I’ll be flying you over here to the UK pronto. You’ve got work to do” he says and hangs up in a haste.

You pull the phone down and stare at it. That was. Odd.

It’s not until later you realize that this is all for that movie that you’ve been hearing rumors about for months. You weren’t sure if it was actually happening or not, you feel like you definitely should have considering who you are, but Uncle Bri certainly wouldn’t be uprooting your life for anything unimportant. You’ve settled into a nice routine over in the states. For a movie this important though, this central to who you are, you’d be upset if you weren’t involved.

~~~~

If you were being completely honest with yourself, you don’t remember as much about your father’s partner as you wish you did. Let’s be real though, he was practically your second dad, he raised you until you were almost seven. You have faint memories of calling him papa. Your dad didn’t love it at first, he was probably worried about what Freddie thought. He, of course, absolutely adored it and as well as he adored you. So, papa, he was.

The memories you do have, you wouldn’t trade for the world. For the entire world. Some of your favorites were Freddie making you breakfast and cuddling on the couch. He would always read to you before bed and find your favorite stuffed bear before tucking you in and pecking your forehead. Sometimes, your favorite nights, he would sing you to sleep. You were probably too old for lullabies, but Freddie never failed to deliver, not even towards the end. His favorite song to sing you was I Was Born to Love You. He sang it slow and soft, making sure you took every word to heart. Sometimes you dream about it, wishing for just one more day together with the two of them.

You don’t have much to do on the hellish flight ahead of you, so you pull up the folder you keep on your phone of pictures of your dad and Freddie. They looked just as happy as they were. You smile as you scroll through them, pictures the world hasn’t seen. Pictures of the two with their cats, pictures of all three of you together.

You feel your eyes mist up when you get to one of your favorites. At first glance, it appears to be the most mundane thing in the world, but to you it’s everything. Freddie’s balancing you on his hip and he’s got his other arm wrapped around your father, kissing his cheek.

“Oh, fuck” you mutter under your breath, tearing yourself away from the grainy image. You’re finally realizing just how difficult consulting on this movie is actually going to be. You miss your dad and you miss Freddie more than words can say.

You never really dealt with your fathers' death nearly a decade ago. Freddie’s death probably messed you up in more ways that you’re even able to conceptualize because you were so young at the time. He was just a part of you. A part of your history. A part of who you were and who you are.

You’ve got a lot of shit to work through, and god, you hope you’ll be able to hold it together for just a while longer. This movie is important to the two most important people to you. You’re certainly not going to ruin your chance at making it the best it can be because you can’t look at the main character of the film without losing it.

You swallow the lump in your throat and reach down to rummage through your bag for your headphones. You close the photos app and pull up Spotify instead. Zoning out and distracting yourself with music is always how you’ve dealt with the brunt of your emotional issues since practically the beginning of time. The second the first note rings out, you feel a weight lift off of your shoulders and you sigh in relief as you settle in for a long ride.

~~~

You’re pretty damn sure that finally getting off the stuffy plane and stretching your legs is the best feeling in the world. You’re instantly proven wrong though when you spot your uncles waiting for you. They’ve got a dorky sign with “(y/n) Hutton” scrawled across it with a few shaky hearts at the bottom. You can’t help but chuckle, your heart swelling at the gesture.

You quicken your pace and when they notice you barreling towards them, your clunky bags in tow, their faces light up. Their sign and your suitcases are instantly ditched in place of Uncle Rog opening his arms up for you to crash into. Of course, you do, without a second thought and you hold on tight. It feels like if you don’t, he’ll disappear right out from under you.

“Oh, love, how are you? How are you, really?” Uncle Rog says, pulling you away from him to study your face. You sheepishly avoid eye contact, aware that these two know you better than most.

“You know, we do worry about you. More than you think.” Uncle Bri chimes in, responding to your silence. He then reaches over and takes his turn to pull you into a hug. You close your eyes and bury your head in his shoulder. You barely muster the strength needed to keep your voice from shaking.

“I know. I just missed you guys, is all” you break away and get your bearings together. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice the two sharing a skeptical glance, but luckily they drop it for now.

~~~

To say the studio was huge would be an understatement. You’d never dealt with anything this major in your entire life, sure you’d been going to your Uncle’s concerts since you were little. That was different though, that was second nature. Music has always been second nature. This? This is a different world, man. There are more… rules. You’ve never been one for rules.

So far, you’ve been introduced to a lot of the key players in the movie, big execs and such. They’ve all been very graceful and polite if not slightly intimidated by you, which you find hilarious. You still haven’t met any of the actors yet, but you’d been given their names and have already done extensive googling. They all seem like the perfect people for the parts.

You’d actually seen a bit of Rami, Freddie’s actor’s, work in the past. The Night at the Museum trilogy is a goddamn classic and your friends have forced you to watch a couple of episodes of Mr. Robot. So you’re definitely excited, if not a little nervous, to meet the boys.

It’s almost like the universe can read your mind because when you and your uncles turn the corner, there they are. You can tell they’ve met before because Rami, and if you remember correctly, Joe are waving and they all walk over.

“(y/n), you haven’t met the boys yet, have you?” Uncle Bri asks, and before you have the time to answer, he’s introducing you to them respectively. You do your best to remember who is who, it shouldn’t be too hard but this would not be a great situation to slip up. There’s Ben, Joe, Gwilym, and finally, you reach Rami.

His eyes are even more striking in person. You think he’s saying something but you can’t hear a word of it. A poke on your shoulder pulls you out of your trance and you realize you’ve been staring at him for a longer amount of time than would be considered socially acceptable. You glance over at Uncle Bri, a thanks for snapping you out of whatever that was.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry! Zoned out there for a second, it was a long flight” you grin and do your best to sound casual but you’re definitely rattled from your mistake. You almost let out a sigh of relief when you see Rami’s warm smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I totally understand. You flew in from the states, right? That ten-hour flight can be brutal” you nod and he continues. “Anyways, I was just saying how much of an honor it is to be playing Freddie and if there’s anything you ever need or want to talk in regards of the script or characterization, I’m always here. You probably have more influence than me when it comes to that actually, but the offer is always on the table! The same goes for all of us.” He gestures at his castmates and they all nod accordingly. He sounds incredibly sincere and it’s impossible not to grin.

“I really appreciate that, guys. I’m here if any of you need anything too! If you need help going over your lines or if you have any questions about my uncles, dad or my experience with Freddie as a father figure, I’d be more than happy to let you in on everything I know” You’re not, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but why else are you here?

You hear a chorus of thank you’s and wave at them as they rush off to hair and makeup, already late. You look down and try to swallow a smile, you’d be lying to yourself if you tried to pretend it wasn’t endearing. The three of you continue down your path and you feel Uncle Rog bump into you.

“You okay, (y/n)?” he says, trying poorly to hide his shit-eating grin. Oh god, what does he think he knows now?

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired…” you taper off when you notice the look the two give each other.

“Okaaay, whatever you say,” he says in a sing-songy voice. You groan and roll your eyes.

“Well I don’t know about you two, but I’m gonna go explore the set,” you say, trying to get a minute to yourself. It’s just all been a little overwhelming and the last thing you need is your uncles scheming over whatever it is they’re scheming over because if there’s anything you know, it’s that look.

“Have fun, love. We’ll be here if you need us” Uncle Bri reminds you for the thousandth time. You thank him and wander off on your own.

~~~

As the days go by, you fall into a routine. They don’t need you there at a specific time so you definitely consider yourself lucky in that regard. All of the actors have to be at hair and makeup typically at around 6. You shuffle in at a comfortable 10, say hi to anyone who isn’t currently working on a scene, and hide away in one of the back rooms with the writers.

The script has already been put out of course, but they still meet every day to talk about potential revisions or go over their work with the rest of the cast and crew. While definitely on different sides of the globe from each other, what they do isn’t very far from what you do. At least it’s on the same planet. Which would be a first in this new world of Hollywood. So you’d say things are going pretty smoothly. You haven’t yet had to dig deep and reveal anything about yourself or your history that you didn’t want to.

Of course, though, the universe can’t let you stay comfortable for very long. It needs to have its fun in throwing you for a loop just once you think you’ve got things figured out. This loop comes in the form of none other than Rami Malek. At first, that is.

It starts like any other day. You come into the studio in your baggy hoodie, with your messy hair strewn everywhere, and your headphones in with the volume up as loud as it will go. You yawn and scrub at your eyes. You were up pretty late working on that same damn song, it’s just been eating away at you. The day you figure out how that bridge works will be a goddamn national holiday in your book. You groan and continue down the winding hallways.

When Rami comes up behind you and taps your shoulder, you jump out of your skin and your soul just about leaves your body. You rip your headphones out and turn around to see him giggling like a toddler and you gasp, grasping your chest dramatically.

Your heart flutters at the carefree expression on his face and you swallow down and try to ignore the emotions so obviously bubbling up to the surface. You can’t help but stare though, it’s not your fault that he’s absolutely breathtaking. You’re confident that his jawline could cut steel. This time, your admiration slides and he doesn’t notice because he’s still pulling himself together after the little incident.

He’s wearing Freddie’s angry lizard jacket and he’s got the fake teeth in. He’s the spitting image of Freddie and it honestly would have been a little jarring if it weren’t for him being so warm and open, squashing any possible nerves you may have before they even have the time to fully form.

“Sorry!” he chokes out, swallowing the last of his giggles. “I really didn’t mean to scare you, I thought you heard me walking up, but I guess not,” he says and gestures at your headphones dangling down and twirling together.

“Jesus Christ, Rami. You do know that you almost killed me, right? I literally almost died right here!” you say, still playing it up a little bit. You can’t keep a straight face for long though and break eye contact to laugh under your breath. “Anyways, what’s up? I haven’t seen you in a while! You look great, I must say” you point out, referencing the outfit.

“I always look great, darling,” he says, putting on Freddie’s accent. You raise your arms in surrender and he shoots you a grin. Suddenly he’s Rami again, just like that. “So I’ve got that one big scene tomorrow and I feel like something is off with my performance and I just can’t put my finger on it. I was wondering if you were free later tonight after we’re done shooting to go over the script with me?” you’re not sure if he’s doing it on purpose, but he’s giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Oh, I know that feeling,” you say, thinking back to your stupid song. Maybe you can play it for him and get his input? You quickly brush off the thought, this is about him, not you. “And of course! I’d love to!” You can’t even pretend you aren’t honored and a little excited to see him later. Even though you’ve fallen in love with your little routine, you have a real soft spot for this boy.

“Perfect! I can’t wait to see you then” he waves as he walks off. You wave back and once he’s turned the corner, you can’t contain your giddiness. Before you know it, you’re hopping and -hopefully- internally squealing like a schoolgirl. He’s just so cute, okay? It’s not fair. It shouldn’t be legal.

~~~

You spend the rest of your day curled up in the bean bag chair in the corner of the writers' room going over a thousand different scenarios in your head, both eagerly and anxiously awaiting the end of filming. You’ve really been thrown for a loop here, going from total isolation to the midst of practically a high school crush. You’re not even entirely sure why, there’s just something about him. You’re not quite sure whether you like it or not, but there’s one thing you do know. Denying it won’t get you anywhere, you’ve been down that road before.

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therearwindow · 4 years

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> Hey Reader. Saddle up. This is long winded as fuck. There are little notes at the bottom for the numbers in the text. Anyway. The voices used to write this change. A lot of it will sound childish. I wrote parts in that voice because it was necessary for that part of my life. Also I suck at organizing my thoughts. Please keep my past English teachers in your hearts. They did the best they could with me.<

So I am living in a state where if there is not contest, you might as well wait it out for 18 months living separately. I moved here from my home state thinking things could be better with a new start, and I didn't want a life without my step kids. Of course things went awry, and now we're separated, and I don't see my step kids everyday.

With him I didn't have to pay for anything. I wanted to. He makes significantly more money than I ever did, and that fucked with me. I couldn't be financially helpful. I had a job, and it meant nothing in comparison. He made me feel that. Tried to get me to be a stay-at-home-mom because it was financially more useful than me working. I grew up working for everything I wanted. Work and hard work was what I knew. A household with two working parents was what I knew and what I wanted. He won eventually.

I was 23 and he was 31. He was going through a divorce with two kids from his previous marriage. I was young, carefree, loved kids, stupid and hopeful. I still high on trying to make less mistakes and better myself by going to school by finding that mythical job that I love and not struggle. Though I kept forgetting that I have depression, bipolar, and anxiety. That I will more than likely have to take pills everyday of my life to function "normally," in addition to therapy. At the point I met him I was doing neither medication nor therapy. I was stuck in well-meaning loop of "I'm trying." It of course want good enough. So I never progressed.

We dated for two years before I decided I wanted him to ask me to marry him. Stupid. Those two years were filled with him putting me down about my mental health, my silver of aspirations, my social life. My social life already lacked from being pretty introverted. Any friends I had at the time I'd known for years and had grown apart from with sprinkles of hangouts here and there. Then I made new friends. Friends from work who wanted to do things with me and understood me a little better. My growing friendships with stunted with being guilt tripped. His kids the bait.I took it. I had fallen for them. I had decided I wanted to be in their lives. I loved them. I was also told that I wouldn't be having children of my own with him. Though because of loving them, and because I loved him, thought he was the best thing to happen to me, I tried to make myself forget about having something I wanted the most out of life. I loved my stepkids even more. I also tried to compromise with my social life until nothing was enough, and I hardly ever saw my friends outside of work. I was so fucking vulnerable. I am so god damn thankful for those friends I met at work still being around for nearly 6 years.

Two years of red flags. Two years of trying to compromise, then fight, then my silence, and submission. Not ultimate submission, no, I still had some pride left. I put up the occasional fight and occasional acts of disobedience. I had to. Then there was happiness. Because I submitted. Duh. He got what he wanted. So I was happy¹. Twenty-five had come around, and my poorly wired brain told me it was time to get married. He loved me. So why not? Summer 2015 he popped the question during Movie In The Park. I knew it was coming because we talked about it and he let me pick out my ring. I was overjoyed. He paid the money for the ring, but I still was surprised he actually did it. After years of feeling unworthy of love, like I didn’t deserve happiness, like I was only good for pushing people away, someone wanted to marry me. Sounds rad, but it wasn’t. Against the better collective judgment of myself and other who knew my relationship, I said yes.

Now activated was stressful wedding planning. He ended up footing the bill for the entire thing because my dad couldn’t (or wouldn’t, still unclear) help pay for anything. Part of that was because for some reason my almost spouse wanted to get married the same year. November to be exact. He, to this day says he was joking about the timing, but I will never believe him. The reason? Taxes. We wouldn’t be able to file jointly married if we waited. He had it in my head that my low income was needed that tax year to lessen the amount of taxes he would owe. I didn’t get the venue I wanted because of moving the wedding up. So I decided that I wanted to do a courthouse wedding. He had already gotten married once before, and if I wasn’t getting the wedding I really wanted, then I would settle for much less. He said at some point during an argument that if I didn’t agree to a big wedding like he wanted, then we shouldn’t get married. I could no longer have family I wanted to attend be there, but I really wanted to get married. I was blind. So we got married November 2015. I wasted a good wedding theme and the time of everyone who attended. We never even got our wedding photos back. There was an ice storm. My dad paid for my dress giving me a check on my wedding day, but he (at my request not thinking he would actually do it) deducted money owed him from the balance. Looking back I feel that it was just a shitty wedding day for a multitude of reasons.

It’s November 2019, and this month would be our 4th anniversary. It’s weird that we’re not celebrating it. We kind of forced it last year. Even got a puppy. Poor Tonks. Though I’m also in another relationship for over a year now. So there’s that. He’ll argue that it’s that relationship that ended us because he put up with so much for me. We were shitty before boyfriend came into play. I also had a miscarriage during year two of our marriage, and that nearly broke us. I should have left because there were some shitty things said directed at me during that time. Like really shitty. Though back to polyamory, not wanting to let go of something good that was happening to me won over, and eventually helped me leave. Not the person. It should be known that part of our “redefining ourselves” idea coming with moving to a new state included polyamory.

So. While getting ready to make the move, my spouse had to move ahead of me and the kids. We talked about being in an open relationship. He only wanted a shared girlfriend. I said fuck that and scrubbed that idea opting for polyamory. Why? Because I am polyamorous. After years of being told that I was a dirty cheater, failing at being monogamous, beating myself up for failing, and deep suppression, I had come to terms with being poly. So, okay, he went with it. I explicitly pointed out that once we went this way, I would not go back to monogamy. I couldn’t. It was kind of like coming out for the third time in my life. First with coming out as bisexual during my teen years, the second coming out as pansexual in my 20s.² I sold him on the idea that for me, it would just be sex. I have always been able to separate sex from emotions. I never needed to feel anything about someone before fucking them. After a short while I stopped feeling guilty about not feeling guilty. So whatever. I like sex. I did however make it a point to tell people I was not in it for the feels. I’m not a complete monster. Though that turned into never sleeping with the same partner more than once so as no to catch “feels.” When I did catch feelings I tried to hide it because the sex was good, and a few times admitted my feelings ending up in short-lived relationships. I fucked up, I know. The long and the short was spouse declared that he needed to find someone first before I could do anything physical with anyone. His reasoning was uneven playing field between our genders.³ Blah, blah, blah. That was March 2018. The next month I met my boyfriend online.

You would have thought I went against the rules my spouse and I had previously developed. He was on my case. I was happy talking to my boyfriend. Found out he lived really close to where I was moving (big fucking plus and homeboy was cute af sorry not sorry). Spouse at this point had not found anyone to sleep with. So after being difficult and me telling him that it was pretty unfair that I had to wait, he allowed me to go on a date and let me have sex. Two separate people, and not my boyfriend. May rolled around and me and would be boyfriend have been talking for a month. Spouse had found someone. I was sick to my god damn stomach. Like who else wanted to date this idiot besides me. He was my idiot. As a gesture towards learning to be open and honest with our feelings I expressed my discomfort. Which eventually got dismissed with “you’ll be okay.” Because he was now doing something, everything was okay. My feelings definitely didn’t matter. Though he acted like they did.⁴

May also meant that it was time for the kids and I to move. The school year was over, and it was time for them to spend time with their mom. So spouse and I were kid free for three weeks. it also meant I would finally get to meet the guy I’ve been talking to for a month. I won’t lie. I was fucking elated. I had planned to go at least a day ahead of spouse to get some alone time. Time to meet the guy, see if I still liked him in person, and ya know, do the do. That did not fucking happen. I’ll admit I let my excite get the better of me, a lot. To the point where I lied about where I was going and how. This was in response to spouse being himself and not allowing me to take time out to see my future boyfriend (spouse and I both ended up at the new house not too far apart from each other). I got upset and was dishonest. Not proud of that. It was not good. To me I felt like spouse got his alone time with the new woman, twice I might add. Why couldn’t I be granted the same? Spouse almost didn’t let me use the air bnb he was staying at which had two rooms. I declared that he could not use the same bed him and I slept in to have sex with her.⁵ So he used the other room. Which I also used. Now. We had also a rule stating no overnights. Yeah, post-coital naps do not fall under that. It was already late at night. I was tired. The plan was nap and go home. Duh not stay the night. We also had a few other rules: 1. communicate 2. do not contact the other partner while they are with another Person unless it can’t wait. My spouse showed up at the air bnb because I didn’t communicate, and he thought I was taking too long. Tried to pin breaking the overnight rule on me too. Nah. Eventually I got to go on a proper date with future boyfriend, and it was amazing.

Over a year and a half later I am separated from my spouse and have been with my boyfriend. I moved out in April 2019. I was doing okay for living on my own for the first time in six (6) years. I had a job after a year of basically being guilted into being a stay-at-home-mom⁶. Which I enjoyed the growing closer to my kids part of it, but the constant being at home with only precious baby of a dog, and being expected to spend large portions of my day keeping up a house, not leaving the house to work, put in a deep depression. No matter how hard I tried to try hard, I couldn’t make myself do shit. Small accomplishments were huge to me, and meant little to spouse. So having a job and my own space was fucking magical. I mean spouse totally had to cosign on my apartment, and was (is) giving me $500 a month (ending this coming December) as hush money because I’m probably not going to qualify for alimony. For the record, should I qualify, I wouldn’t be asking for more than what would help me be independent of him. Dude makes six figures a year. He has enough to spare. I wouldn’t be out to get all his money. I don’t want to interrupt the lively hood of my step kids. Anyway. Like I said, it’s November 2019. I lost my job last month. I have a car I need to make payments on, utility bills, it was necessary for me to adopt my dog out, and I feel low again.

Needless to say that the last month has been kind of shitty. Oh. My dad also has a stage four brain cancer. Trust me that plays into the not currently employed thing. I’m still look and applying, but what if my dad dies and I’ve had the new job for less than a month? I’ll obviously be taking the amount of bereavement time allowed. It’s my fucking dad. So I take bereavement and then come back and lose my job? I’ve applied for unemployment as a temporary means of income⁷. Though it’s taking about a month to see if I can receive it. The idea had been to stay on unemployment throughout the holiday season while still looking for a job, and not passing up a good opportunity. Cross the jobless bridge again if I need to in the event my father dies. I have no fucking clue what to do except move forward. What else though? I don’t know what I should be doing while I’m moving. I’m still seeing my therapist, and now new psychiatrist. Both of them working out well. So that’s good. Part of why spouse and I haven’t really pushed for other reasons for immediate divorce is because I really need the health insurance. I got to the doctors a lot for various health issues. If I didn’t have health insurance, all the progress I’ve made towards my mental health will be undone in a much shorter time than it took to get it to a better place. I can’t let that happen. I turn 30 this coming March. I’m fighting to begin the next decade of my life on a good note.

*BONUS ROUND* My still being legally married is causing other problems. My boyfriend’s parents have no idea that I’m still legally married. I do not have good feelings about beginning how to start that conversation. It’s been over a year. Boyfriend’s sister knows. We (he) told her (while I was in the same room) to see what she thought. She thinks it will be fine. It probably wouldn’t be if I had biological children. Which I don’t. Blessing in disguise I’ve been told.

If you’ve made it this far I really wish I had something to give you for reading through my short review of my life. Trust me. This is the short version. All in all it was an abusive relationship, and despite my current predicaments, I am in a better place since leaving. I really left a fuck ton out. You’re welcome. I’m not new to the internet. I know some of you will want to comment things that I don’t agree with. If they aren’t insightful, to point out a typo, and only cruel, then I don’t give two fucks. I understand that I may be the ”villain” in his story, and after writing what I did I can only imagine what he would say. I am a happy little camper with my boyfriend. He deserves a god damn medal or some shit for sticking with me after things got hairy. He is awesome.

¹ Years later Paramore's "Fake Happy" would cause me to break down into tears. That was when I realized I was situationally happy. It was fake.

² I am 100% not claiming polyamory as a sexual identity. Honestly I could be better educated. I am comparing the feelings. Those being free, shoulders a little lighter, and most of all happier. I will also not entertain discussions of bisexuality versus pansexuality.

³ Q.Q some more you sexist prick

⁴ A little over a year later I came to the realization that I always HAD to ask for permission. He did, but he never HAD to. He had the power in the relationship. I had to mind my Ps and Qs so to speak. If I said no, we had to discuss. If he said no, that was it. So I never wanted to discuss anything with him.

⁵ The “no same bed” thing I lobbied for carried over into our new house. I’m just not cool with that. There was OUR space and THE space. Eventually spouse barred me from ever using the house, and boyfriend was not allowed inside of it period.

⁶ He won.

⁷ Needing assistance seriously hurts my pride. I'm stuck between getting off of it as soon as possible, and falling further into debt.

#have mercy on my soul #relationships #divorce #emotional abuse #mental abuse #financial abuse #marriage #polyam problems #lost #long reads #growing up #my year in review #moving forward #moving forward without direction #villains #typos

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whenimgoodandready · 5 years

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Remember back when Marinette couldn’t talk to Adrien? Remember back when Adrien was a forced homebody? Remember back when Chloe was mea-No wait, she still is. Still, look how far we’ve come into the show! Season 3! A lot has changed since the beginning, but how much did it really “change”? We let’s recap!:

*Stormy Weather 2-Stormy Weather comes back! The first villain we see in the first episode (in some countries), comes back stronger than ever! She made a volcano appear that made the Earth shift out of its orbit and head towards the sun! However, this episode wasn’t all about Stormy Weather becoming more challenging for Ladybug and Cat Noir, but for us to get a look back on what’s happened in the show (now I know Feri said they’rd be flashbacks this season, but I didn’t think she meant all in the same episode!). Guess they needed a plot excuse to do so (shrugs). Starting from this episode, we’ll see more returning supervillains (let’s hope they’re not all flashback episodes though).

It would’ve been nice to see Stormy Weather do a revenge episode again and for us to get a little more backstory on Aurore too, but she was just a plot device. Even if that’s so, here’s what we learned: She’s a weather girl for a kids channel, but not to the high levels like Mireille (“Stormy Weather”), she does commercials (“Prime Queen”) and she went through dé jà vu! She got akumatized again as her villainess self cuz Chloe insulted her for her grades falling from her job (Hey! juggling a career and school work is hard! Just ask the heroes!) and being a lame supervillain too (redemption my a**). Here’s where she changed. She can conjure up natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions! And if we were more focused on that, we could’ve seen her do more like creating tornados and earthquakes!

Speaking of all these changes, let’s just go through the list of all that’s “changed” in the show since I got nothing to review over here:

•Nathalie Sancoeur/Catalyst/Mayura-shes always been a cold, stoic and serious woman doing everything Gabe tells her to do as his secretary. It’s scary that’s she’s the only one in the Agreste mansion that knows about his villainy and even willing went along with his plans to help him (almost) succeed! (“Heroes Day-Catalyst”). (quivers).

•Gabriel Agreste/Hawk Moth-hes still trying (and failing) to get the miraculouses from Ladybug and Cat Noir (the latter of which is his own son! That he doesn’t know about!) and isn’t giving up no matter how much it’s negatively putting Adrien in despair and danger from his neglect and villainy (Hey! you think this’ll be a running gag now with Adrien almost discovering his dad is Hawk Moth? Cuz it happened in “Backwarder” and if I see it a third time, I’ll be convinced). He almost let him die falling off a building! (“Gorizilla”). Mad and desperate, he thinks this is the better way to bring back Emilie............through evil!

•Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe-Alya, Alya, Alya, you call herself a reporter!? It’s Season 3 and yet you still haven’t unmasked who Ladybug is! You go to school with her and fight crime with her and THAT doesn’t get you to think she might look vaguely familiar to you!? And Nino! Yeah, I’m talking to you Nino! How did you not recognize your own girlfriend was a superhero when she already saw through yours!? (”Anansi”). No wonder you guys are a couple, you can’t figure anything out!

•Chloe Bourgeois-You writers call this a “redemption” for Chloe! She’s still a b****! Even if this episode was supposed to be for later, she still didn’t learn a God damn thing! Getting away with trouble (“Despair Bear”), mistreating Sabrina (“Antibug”), continuing to cause akumatizations! (“CURRENT EPISODE!”) etc. If those “baby steps” she’s taking are that slow, someone needs to give her a Red Bull to pick up the pace!

•Ladybug and Cat Noir-the relationship between them is still one-sided (“Glaciator” and “Frozer”), and that goes for the unchange in whole love square too, Adrienette:one-sided, Marichat:strictly platonic and Ladrien:mutual. Unless something goes on with Marinette/Ladybug and Adrien/Cat Noir with Luka and Kagami, respectively, we’re gonna keep seeing the same old thing!

and finally,

•Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste-Marinette still can’t talk to Adrien and continues to talk like she’s reading alphabet soup mixed up! (“Bubbler” and “Origins-Stoneheart Part 2”). It’s Season 3 sweetie, and in this case, Chloe was right! And Adrien is still oblivious to Marinettes interest in him. What’s worse? After she gives him his homework from school with a note saying “Love, Marinette”, he compares it to his Valentine card he assumed was from Ladybug (“Dark Cupid”) and you’d think he’d put two-and-two together, like how that one fan suggested, buuuuuut HE STILL DOESN’T FIGURE IT OUT! W.T.F!?! ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!? You know what? I was wrong, Adrien had changed.........he got stupider!

(heavy breathing)................okay, okay, now that I got that out of my system. Let me get to the positives of this episode. So what we got is not so much how things “changed”, but how they “progressed”. Everything’s still just “the same” except with a different approach. Some for the better and some for the worse. I took some time to let off some steam and to put this all together and not rush into it and it all sounds pretty okay: First up, Nathalie, she’s melancholic and dark. However, as we saw from “Queen’s Battle”, she has a soft side. She’s grown to care deeply for Adrien almost like a son, concerned for his neglect and loneliness (“Mime” and “Glaciator”), and even had tried to get Gabe to spend more time with him (“Christmas Special”). She’s compassionate to Gabe about his grieving towards his wife, Emilie, even if it means aiding him in his villainy to bring her back out of her comatose state (“Heroes Day-Queen Wasp”). What’s also nice is that shes not doing anything underhanded to steal Gabe away from Emilie as she’s concerned for her too (“Heroes Day-Catalyst”). As we thought, she’s in love with him, but is keeping it to herself since he’s not moving on. She’s still sick too from using the (damaged) peacock miraculous and it might get worse! (“Heroes Day-Mayura”). Next up, Gabriel. Sure he’s neglecting his only son/child to run his fashion line/villainy, but he’s changed, or as he calls it, “grown” to allow him to be a little more out-and-about such as allowing him to attend public school (”Origins-Stoneheart”) and is actually now listening to what Nathalie AND Nooroo had been telling him and that’s to spend more time with Adrien! He did watch Emilies movie with him (”Gorizilla”) and played a piano duet with him (”Captain Hardrock”) and after that, let him go out to hang out with his friends. If only he didn’t have to resort to the dark side to make Adrien happy by bringing back Emilie. Funny thing, despite Adriens clinical depression, it’s not strong enough for him to get akumatized.....................or is it? *cough*upcomingepisode”CatBlanc”*cough*. Then we go to Alya and Nino! Okay, so Alya still hasn’t unmasked Ladybug yet, but at least she quickly figured out who Carapace was (”Anansi”) and is getting closer on Cat Noir, (”Lady Wifi” and “Frightningale”) right? That’s a change. Also both her and Nino were shown worthy of being superheroes by stepping into action to help Ladybug (”Befana” and “Anansi”) and thanks to her, realized they were compatible for each other (”Animan”). Speaking of worthy superheroes, we come to Chloe. Yes, she’s still a spoiled brat and her “redemption” is awfully slow, but she was shown to be heroic, but only when she’s motivated by her idol, Ladybug (”Despair Bear” and “Queens Battle-Malediktator”) she just needs to learn to do it by herself more to improve faster. Although Chloe can be impatient with her, she respects Ladybug too much to badmouth her as she scolded Sabrina for doing so. She also needs to understand that she’s not needed all the time for crime-fighting (lose the bat bee signal, will ya!?). Besides, I heard the next special (”Battle for the Miraculous”), just might be what it takes to get Chloe to be woke! Deep down, she’s still human. On to the dynamic duo! Minus the unchange in the one-sided relationship they have, it went from professional to platonic! (”Glaciator”). Not only have their enemies gotten stronger, but so have they by gaining new powers (”Syren” and “Frozer”) and learning to trust each other (”Dark Owl”). More importantly, Ladybug is starting to make puns! Guess she doesn’t hate them that much, maybe we’ll see more of that. Last but not least, Marinette and Adrien, Marinette did change! She can talk to Adrien, but platonically! like she realized herself, (”Frozer”) Romance wise, not so much (”Bubbler”). Hey! At least she went to the movies (”Gorizilla”) and trained with him before (”Gamer” and “Riposte”), that’s progress! Stepping up her game! So she’s taking it slow with Adrien by being friends first (she’s still got a lot to learn about him as he’s not so “perfect”). Adrien, on the other hand, well, it’s not so much that he’s “stupid”, per se, but from the circumstances that are happening that’s making this so complicated. I mean, he almost figured out Marinette was the one who wrote him the unsigned Valentine (”Dark Cupid”), but dismissed it cuz, like you read, Marinette is taking the friendship route first. Not to mention he was fully convinced that she’s “only a friend/fan who’s into fashion” (”Troublemaker”) and that she’d rather be with Luka (”Frozer”). Well, that’s it, that was the recap episode of “What-We-Learned-So-Far” in the show, some were heartfelt, some were sad and others were just obvious. Nathalie is slowly getting sicker and truly cares about the Agrestes, Gabriel is starting to show regret over his villainy, Alya and Nino are still going strong, Ladybug and Cat Noir are getting stronger, Chloe is “trying” and Marinette and Adrien are still sailing the friendship! Lol! And it’s understandable why. Some more foreshadowing we got and you know how much I love those (whats Gabe got planned with Kagami’s mother?), so here’s hoping. Change happens all the time, if my reviews can change, so can this.

#miraculous ladybug #stormy weather 2 #miraculous ladybug stormy weather 2

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richiardtozier · 6 years

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147 for reddie!

“Look! Fireflies!”

They’re around 17/18 in this okay so everyone chillax okay

This is super long and I’m sorry but I hope you like it!! ______________________________________________

Richie can’t say he was surprised when Eddie asked him to hang out that night without the rest the losers. They had been doing so for a few weeks now. They did things that any normal friends would do, like go to the movies, get breakfast before school or have sleepovers. It felt different, though, than when he would hang out with the others alone or when the whole group got together. When he was alone with Eddie, there was this warm feeling in his stomach and his heart always seemed to beat a little faster. When Eddie would lean into him, the smell of laundry detergent and cucumber melon shampoo would overwhelm him in the best way. When Eddie would giggle and scrunch his little nose up, Richie’s heart would melt. He tried not to think much about it. Eddie was his best friend. There was no reason why being alone with him should make his chest hurt and his palms sweat. Except for the fact that there was a reason and Richie knew exactly what it was. He knows he has to keep these feelings a secret though. If anyone knew, especially Eddie, they would probably laugh him off of the planet. To be fair, the thought of Eddie reciprocating his feelings almost made him laugh too. As if someone as perfect as Eddie Kaspbrak could ever feel that way about someone like him. Tonight, when he’s with Eddie, he knows he’ll have to pretend everything is normal like always. He also knows that tonight, acting normal will be about ten times harder than usual, because when Eddie asked him to hang out, all he told Richie was to meet him at the quarry because he had a surprise.

Eddie told Richie to meet him at the quarry around 6:00 pm, but Eddie showed up half an hour early because that’s just how he is. He realized this was a mistake because now he had nothing to do but pace back and forth while trying not to think about how nervous he was and how he really shouldn’t be. Unbeknownst to Richie, Eddie was always nervous when he was around him. Richie didn’t know that his head would swim every time he would lean in too close causing him to catch Richie’s signature scent of cheap cologne, mint and sometimes cigarette smoke, depending on what kind of day he had. He didn’t know that Eddie’s small hands would almost twitch with the desire to run them through Richie’s curls when he threw his head back with that stupid, infectious laughter of his. He didn’t know how hard it was for Eddie to keep his lips to himself pretty much anytime Richie moved his own. Richie was clueless and Eddie wanted to keep it that way. He knew he’d be the laughing stock of the century if people found out he’d been pining over his best friend for the past 5 or so years. He wasn’t really sure why he invited Richie out here tonight. He had found something that he had wanted to share with all of his friends, but a small voice in his head told him that he should share it with Richie first. He doesn’t know who that voice belongs to but it always seemed to be screaming “Richie! Richie! Richie!” and Eddie wished it would shut up. So here he was, pacing back and forth and checking his watch. He can feel himself start to sweat. It was late May and the sun hadn’t quite set yet, plus he was wearing jeans so he decided to blame it on that instead of his nerves.

It was 6 pm on the dot when Richie showed up. Like always, the moment they both saw each other, their hearts skipped a beat. He was sporting black jeans, a t-shirt and a jean jacket. His Hawaiian shirts still sometimes made an appearance, but he had mostly switched them out for various jean and leather jackets when he turned 16.

“Oh, you’re already here. I’m not late am I?” Richie almost sounded worried.

“No. Right on time actually.” Eddie smiled and showed him his watch.

“Huh. Look at me, being all punctual.” He grinned. “So… what’s this big surprise, Eddie Spaghetti?” Eddie didn’t even flinch at the silly nickname as he had grown quite fond of it over the years.

“Don’t call me that.” He replied anyway. He couldn’t let Richie know he actually liked it. But of course that was one thing Richie did know. “Just come on. I’ll show you. We’ll have to do a little bit of walking. Hope that’s alright.” Eddie reached out and grabbed Richie’s wrist and pulled him along. Both of them were hoping the pink tint in their cheeks from the contact wasn’t obvious. They walked in a comfortable silence for the first few minutes until Richie decided that it was too quiet.

“You have me come out here and meet you, right before it gets dark and drag me way further into the woods than any of us have ever cared to go. Are you bringing me out here to kill me, Eds? Did all the jokes about your mother finally break the camel’s back? Come on, Eddie. Please give me another chance. I can change.” He dramatically clasped his hands together like he was begging. He tried to keep a straight face, but failed when Eddie began to laugh and shake his head at him.

“Shut up, you idiot.” Eddie rolled his eyes but the smile remained on his face.

“Alright, alright, but honestly we’ve been walking for like… ever. Are we even in Derry anymore?”

“Rich, it’s only been 10 minutes, chill out. But yes, actually. We’re here.” Eddie stopped walking and dramatically held his arms out as if to say ‘Ta-da!’ Richie began to look around, confused. It didn’t seem like anything special to him. They were still surrounded by trees and they could still see the quarry. It didn’t look much different than where they had just been.

“Uh… this is nice and all, Eds, but… what exactly am I looking at?” Richie asked carefully, in case he was missing something, not wanting to hurt Eddie’s feelings.

“Just wait. Wait for it.” Eddie was looking up towards the sky. Richie began to do the same. Another minute passed before Richie saw something small light up above him. And then he saw another one. And another one.

“Woah! Look, Eds! Look! Fireflies! A whole bunch of ‘em!” Richie pointed up towards where they were flying with his eyes wide. And there were tons of them. Lighting up all around them.

“I know. That’s what I wanted to show you.” Eddie smiled softly and looked over at him. Richie hadn’t taken his eyes off of the fireflies and for that Eddie was thankful. Because as soon as he saw the complete joy and awe on Richie’s face at something so simple, the only thing he could think was ‘Holy shit I want to kiss him and I have never loved anyone more than I love him’ and that thought was enough to cause his face to flush.

“Eddie, this is so cool! How did you know they would be here?” He finally tore his eyes away from the pretty sight above him to look at an even prettier sight beside him.

“One night after my mom was being extra insane, I came out to the quarry to be alone. Just to think, ya know? And I just kept walking until I got here and saw all of them flying around. I came back the next night to see if they would still come out and they did. I’ve been coming out here on nights that I want to be alone and think. They only stay in this little area though. I’m not sure why. I just thought it was kind of beautiful. So I wanted to show you. I thought maybe… I don’t know… you could come out here if you ever needed to. Or maybe we could start coming out here together. I- I mean if you wanted.” Eddie could feel his cheeks heating up as he spoke. Richie was looking down at the smaller boy, trying to ignore his heart that was probably about to come out of his chest because ‘Holy shit I want to kiss him and I have never loved anyone more than I love him’.

“Thank you. It really is beautiful. And you know I would go anywhere with you.” Richie says, still looking at him. When he sees Eddie’s eyes widen, he clears his throat awkwardly, regretting his words. “What do you think about? When you’re out here, I mean.” He asked, changing the subject. Eddie almost lies. He isn’t sure if it’s the humidity getting to him or maybe it’s Richie’s previous words giving him the confidence to say what he feels.

“You.” He finally says, his eyes never leaving Richie’s. Richie’s breath hitches and it’s his turn to widen his eyes. “I think a lot about you. And me. Us. What we are and what we aren’t. What we could be. I think about all the chances I’ve had to tell you how I feel and how stupid I was to ignore them because I was scared. Scared that you would laugh in my face. Scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way. And I don’t know what it is but I don’t think I’m scared anymore. I want to tell you. I want to tell you that I love it when you call me Eds and I love it when you do that terrible British accent. I want to tell you I love it when you knock on my window at 3 am and say it’s just because you missed me. I want to tell you that I’m in love with you and that I’ve been in love with you ever since we were 13 and I’ve tried to get over it I really have but God Richie sometimes you make it so damn hard with your stupid laugh and your stupid jokes and I just-”. He’s interrupted when Richie leans down, gently grabbing his face and pressed their lips together. Richie’s scent washes over Eddie and Eddie’s scent washes over Richie. Eddie is finally able to run his fingers through Richie’s hair and Richie feels that familiar warm feeling in his stomach. They’re both sure this is what pure bliss feels like and they never want it to end. It does though, when they finally pull away.

“I love you too.” Is the first thing Richie says. “I always have. I always will.”

#reddie #reddie fic #request #my writing #reddiesetrichie

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queen-of-hearts92 · 7 years

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Have you ever seen Utena fans make outright false claims about characters? Like, objectively wrong? Because I've seen people say all sorts of weird and untrue shit, like that Anthy raped Akio when they hid from the angry mob and later they were "raping and abusing each other", or that Shiori wanted to out Juri in front of the school and later got Ruka hurt Juri when her plan failed. Where do these ideas come from?

Ohhhhh yeah I’ve seen many of those (including the ones you mentioned)! I recall one time I had to patrol the t.v tro.pes utena character page cause someone kept dropping fake info like that. It stopped after a month but man that was annoying (I still check the page sometimes, luckily there hasn’t been an issue for awhile so thats good). -.-;

I think the simple answer to where these ideas come from is two fold. One, confirmation bias. If someone wants to see a character/thing a certain way they’ll justify it however they can. Even if it’s nonsensical and untrue.

Two, people take advantage of the show’s ambiguous nature to create untrue narratives that suit their own bizarre theories. Defenses like “well THERE ISN’T A WRONG ANSWER CAUSE ITS UP TO INTERPERATATION!” end up being used. Which is a lame and awful excuse, there is wrong answers. There always is, Utena has a fucking narrative you guys. An odd and surreal narrative but it has one. Utena has objectively true and not true things about it. It’s like saying “Utena doesn’t play sports”, thats 100% untrue because we see her play sports several times on screen and its not like. Hidden or anything (besides it being made to look fancy cause this is a shoujo anime EVERYTHING MUST BE FANCY) it’s something Utena does. On screen. It’s mentioned by other characters, it’s talked about a few times and Utena herself has talked about it. Saying that she doesn’t play sports is straight up untrue and no amount of bullshitting can change that. I know this is a mild example but I’m thinkin you get the point. It’s just people being narrow minded in the end.

Whoops I rambled about the particular “theories” you mentioned a lot. My bad. 8`D

Side note: Gdi anyone saying that Anthy raped Akio at ANY point in time is one dense motherfucker. And just another attempt at demonizing Anthy. Like. Y’all did u miss it when the show is like “HEY YOU SHOULDN’T DEMONIZE ANTHY.” and then these people proceed to demonize Anthy.

Also yeah I’ve heard the ones about Shiori too (I’ve heard legit everything dumb people say about her at this point, fuck). Shiori outing Juri can’t be true or correct in the slightest cause a. everyone lost all their memories of the Black Rose Circle stuff and this includes Shiori so therefore it can’t be something she plans to do cause she doesn’t fucking really know whats in the locket anymore. b. her elevator scene clearly indicates that she’s pleased she discovered that Juri is keeping a secret and thinks to let Juri know that she knows that she has a secret (it doesn’t matter what the secret is, “perfect” Juri has one and thats all that matters to her. It could’ve been that Juri was secretly a furry and she would have been just as pleased) and gives no indication that she’ll tell anyone besides keeping it between the two of them just to continue their petty gay teen drama bullshit. And c. even if that thought DID cross her mind Shiori straight up doesn’t have the guts/drive to do such a thing (unless u thinking movie! Shiori but thats a DIFFERENT thing all together) cause judging from her dialoge and how Juri talks about her and how others talk about her gives every indication that she’s pretty shy/timid around social situations and isn’t one for large groups of people or a lot of people having attention on her. And recall that proof that Juri is gay is literally her in a locket so any outting of any sort would drop a fuck ton of attention to her as well and I can imagine thats not something she’d really want at all. She wants like validation in the form of some1 close to her, not a bunch of people she doesn’t know that ain’t what she seeks like ya can at least understand that much.

Lastly Shiori is actually really terrible at coming up with “schemes” at all like, unlike say Touga or even Nanami all her attempts at doing everything and anything like that have been done entirely on impulse and terrible guesswork and with very little actual thought and planning involved. Like look how the shit with Ruka turned out and all that shit with the boy when they were in middle school was done on a wrong assumption and only worked on even hurting Juri because she’s too gay to function and is a bit on the salty side. Like imagine that if Juri wasn’t bothered by Shiori dating some1 else? She’s like “ok congrats im happy for ya” like good job Shiori you entered a random ass relationship for absolutely nothing (granted she’s like fuck I fucked up later down the line either way but yeah)! Like even in the elevator scene she can’t even commit to her terrible idea cause she’s like “fuck everything leads to disaster. Why can’t shit go back to normal ffff?!” Lol why does everyone assume she’s an evil mastermind, she’s a salty 15 year old with zero actual power she’s not charismatic like Touga or a 3,000(?) year old god who’ve been at this damn school too long like Anthy and Akio like, you guys.

“later got Ruka hurt Juri when her plan failed.“ Fuck people who blame RUKA’S actions on her! Like what the fuck, fuck you. All of Ruka’s actions are his choice and his choice alone, it’s painfully obvious like where did any indication come that Shiori could even manipulate him like bruh other way around. Fuck, I hate people who say such vile shit like that. God. Fuck. It makes me tired lol.

#ok damn I got worked up a bit #what else is new lol #protect my problem children. leave Anthy and Shiori alone :V

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