#like why would it hurt you do bad if he /was/ a vegetarian? What about that hurts your feelings so bad?
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On top of everything hateful about the new Velma series it seems to have led folks back to my Scooby-Doo Facts post from several years ago and now every other notification is once again "Ummmm Shaggy def isn't a vegetarian sweaty I saw him eat meat". Once again I am Sisyphus and this is my rock
#Jenna Screams Into The Void#I get people being confused I do#But the way some folks act like it'd be an insult to their whole life if he was#like why would it hurt you do bad if he /was/ a vegetarian? What about that hurts your feelings so bad?#It's a cartoon chillax#The post is based off of the mockumentary Behind The Scenes shorts from Cartoon Network in addition to a few actual lore from the OG series#but if we're being honest none of you have watched Scooby Doo Where Are You in years if ever#which I know because many people don't think any of the facts are 'true' but as I said some are direct quotes from it like the Gymnast fact#so maybe this show just isn't all that important to y'all
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Very random but do you have any headcanons about Itachi and by extension Shisui's lifestyle in the modern era? For example, would they use Android or Iphone, or what sort of food preferences they would have like gluten free or vegan? Or what about their workout regimen? Not to mention, the kind of shampoo they would use (sorry if that's too specific)
I personally see Itachi as a very reticent person who would thrive in marathon training outside of any combat training. Do you have any opinions about that or anything related to Itachi headcanons in general?
In the modern AU, I see Itachi going through the same kind of things he does in canon, but on a lesser scale. His dynamic with his family and Shisui would be more or less the same.
Itachi is the Android person. He doesn't like showing off and is content with the simpler things in life. He is vegetarian. Shisui doesn't mind eggs and some seafood.
His favourite person is Sasuke. Obviously. But Shisui is up close as well. There were times in Itachi's life when he had no idea what was going on and Shisui stood beside him. Itachi is always thankful for that.
The only thing Itachi doesn't compromise with is his hair. So, he regularly does shampoo and uses conditioner on his hair. Shisui doesn't really care about his own and if he's running out of time, he doesn't mind using washing powder on his hair either.
Itachi is definitely introverted. Though since in the modern world he might not be training rigorously because he's not a ninja, he'll spend a lot of time studying.
He reads Kafka, Murakami, Plath, Dazai, Dostoevsky, Nabokov, and Camus a lot. Shisui tries to get him to read something else as well but Itachi gets bored of his recs real soon. Shisui and he argue a lot on the kind of books they like. Sasuke just stays out of their arguments because he's more of a comic book person. His arguments tend to be with Naruto the most. And they're never on the same page.
Itachi has a strained relationship with his parents. It's not too bad, but he feels uncomfortable whenever he's home. He knows he's loved, but he can't bring himself to be comfortable with his parents around. His strict father and his mom being an ideal wife have contributed a lot to him being inexpressive. Being a genius, a prodigy, best at everything is tiring. Everyone thinks he's having the best of all worlds, but in fact, he sometimes breaks down because he can't handle it. As if he's not allowed to fail. He wants his parents to be proud of him.
He knows he's the best at what he does. It's not outright arrogance but confidence that shows in his persona. He always ends up stealing the limelight, no matter who the object of centre is meant to be. It occasionally causes a rift between him and Sasuke. No, Sasuke doesn't say it out loud, but Itachi understands that Itachi stealing the attention that Sasuke deserved hurt his little brother. He hates seeing Sasuke sad because of him. Once he understands what is wrong, Itachi always removes himself from the picture, making last minute excuses why he can't make it. It happens with him and Shisui too. But Shisui tries to make him understand that he doesn't mind it and it isn't his fault. Though Itachi won't listen. He doesn't like being inconvenience to the people he loves.
Itachi is Sasuke's rock. Every time Sasuke needs something or wants someone to root for him, he always has Itachi's support. What he doesn't realize is that Itachi needs his support just as much. Itachi finds dinners with his parents comfortable only when Sasuke is around. Sasuke talks a lot, and that's therapeutic for Itachi. Sasuke's presence makes his life so much easier.
Both the brothers sometimes have heart-to-heart with each other. Sasuke mostly rants about his life and Itachi offers his opinions and suggestions, most of them work out for Sasuke. Sasuke wants to know about Itachi too and Itachi has no idea what to say about himself and his life. He doesn't want to burden Sasuke with all that he feels. Not that Sasuke doesn't manage to get some answers out of Itachi. He's understood that asking his older brother questions directly won't help. So he beats around the bush a lot until Itachi begins to speak.
One day when their parents were out of town, Sasuke managed to pry some answers out of his brother, and was horrified to know that the Itachi Uchiha had struggles too.
Ever since they were kids, Shisui would come over to the Uchiha household for sleepovers. And when Mikoto and Fugaku fell asleep, all three kids would indulge in pillow fights. Sasuke and Shisui would gang up on Itachi because that's one of those things that draw some reaction out of Itachi.
#itachi#sasuke#shisui#uchiha brothers#itachi uchiha#uchiha itachi#shisui uchiha#sasuke uchiha#ask#anon#if these feel sad it's because i spent all day rotting in my bed and crying#and i hope the whole thing makes some sense#itachi hcs#itachi headcanons#shisui headcanons#my aus#sasuke headcanons
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Not So Happy Birthday
AN: He should have known better
Synopsis: You have been spending a lot of time with Ace planning something for Jack and you wanted to get everything just right. Too bad everything blows up in your face.
Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader
Requested by: a beautiful anon 💖
Appearances by: @nattinatalia and @hoodharlow 😘😘
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
It was 2 am and Jack was sleeping peacefully next to you. When you had heard his light snores, you took advantage of that and were texting Ace to help you plan a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend of three months.
Jack had asked you to visit him on tour and you quickly agreed. You had that advantage seeing that you worked at your parent's company and could come and go as you pleased.
You were what people called a trust fund baby. You didn’t have to work, but you chose to, wanting to say that you earned something for yourself.
You were introduced to Jack by Ace after the two of you had met and hooked up, but it didn't go anywhere. The two of you remained close and became really good friends and he got the bright idea of introducing you to Jack. When that happened, you could have sworn that your heart stopped when you saw these blue eyes.
Even though the relationship was still fairly new, you found yourself wanting to spend all your free time with him if both of your schedules allowed it.
Your best friend Blanca was excited for you since she couldn't remember the last time she saw you so happy, but she also happened to have no problem threatening Jack and told him that if he hurt you to count his days.
While your other best friend Jessica was just happy that you found something else to occupy your time with instead of just work.
The idea that you came up with for the party is that it would be Louisville themed so Jack could have a little taste of home while being on tour. You knew it did get hard sometimes, so you decided that you would do what you could in order for him to fill the void without actually being home. You had also planned to fly out his parents, grandparents, as well as Clay on your family’s private jet and everything would take place in one of the vacation houses that your parents owned.
The current conversation with Ace centered around what type of cake you thought he would want and the different foods to have. Urban, Quiiso, 2fo and Shloob were going to help you go and pick out a gift for him tomorrow. They were all in on the plan and the only other person you wanted to tell was Druski. Jack told you that he would be coming later in the week and you will fill him in on the details then.
Ace- OPEN BAR!
You- Ace! My baby doesn’t drink! We all know this!
Ace- Okay, but I do! And I’m helping you plan this soooo once again, OPEN BAR!
You- Okay, okay! I’ll have the open bar, and I can ask our private chef if he can do the food, or should we get it catered from somewhere? Like this is more so an intimate setting with all of his closest family and friends
Ace- Get Morris Deli sandwiches
You- Ace, imma smack you. NO.
Ace- What in the world is your private chef going to cook? Spoiled ass smh
You- Hmm, I’m thinking of multiple options. Chicken, fish, beef, and then we have our vegetarian options so that everyone can have something to choose from that they like. And of course all of Jack’s favorites
Ace- His favorite is you
You- But I cannot be spread eagle on the dinner table
Ace- Says who?!? Jack will only want to be around you anyway, ever since he laid his eyes on you it’s like we don’t exist
You- Stop being dramatic
Just then you felt Jack move closer to you and wrap his arms tighter around you and whisper in your ear.
“Mamas, why are you still up? You complained about wanting to go to sleep and you're steadily typing away on your phone. Put it down and go to sleep.”
“Okay, just one more thing that I have to do and then I will, I promise.”
“Baby, you stay overworking yourself and I thought I told you about that.”
“But!”
“I get it, you’re a perfectionist and when you want things done a certain way you do them yourself, but you have all day to do that. Come and cuddle with me please.”
How could you say no to that?
You- He’s awake so we shall continue this conversation later
Ace- And snails better not be on the menu either with your bougie ass
You- Imma order them from room service to you in the next city we go to
Ace- 😐😐😐😐
You put your phone on the charger as Jack kissed your shoulder and you then fell into a peaceful slumber.
It was around 6 am when you had also dragged Ace to wake up and go to the gym downstairs in the hotel with you.
As much as he put up a fight, he finally agreed and you let Jack sleep in.
“We only slept for four hours! I’m tired!” Ace whined as you began to warm up on the treadmill.
“Stop being a big baby! I have to use all of my free time to plan this so that he doesn’t find out. I want this to be special for him. He’s worked so hard and definitely deserves this.”
“Are you at least buying me breakfast after this?”
“Did you not hear anything I just said?! All you’re focused on is eating and going back to sleep.”
“Do you blame me?! Since no, you and your family are the types to wake up on Thanksgiving ad run a fucking 5K. Jack has no idea what he has gotten himself into. And quite frankly I don’t know either, but I WANT OUT!”
“Did I ever mention how dramatic you were? Now I have to go finalize the details for his cake and pick up one of the gifts that I got him today and Neelam knows the deal. Keep him distracted so that he doesn't suspect anything. If worse comes to worse, I went shopping and that really isn’t a lie… and… Ace you can lift heavier than that. That’s only five pounds.”
“I’m a beginner, do not shame me.”
“This isn’t Planet Fitness and you are not a beginner so I am shaming you. Get those 40s and stop playing around. The sooner we get done, the better.”
“Are you this hard on Jack when he works out with you?”
“The only working out with him that I’ve ever done is sex so no.”
“And I did not need to know that.”
“Well you asked.” You answered Ace while shrugging and going over to the bar to do squats.
When you and Ace had finished, the two of you went back upstairs to your rooms to get ready for the day and you walked in to see Jack looking like he just woke up and was rubbing his eyes.
“Baby, where’d you go?”
“Downstairs to the gym, I dragged Ace with me and now I’m going to shower and I promised him that I would buy him breakfast for waking him up so early. Just didn’t say when he was going to get the breakfast. Maybe he’ll get it next week from me.”
“Not you making the man work out and not feeding him. Your workouts be hard as hell and that’s the least you can do. I am never working out with you. The most work out you’ll get out of me is giving you this dick and that’s it.”
“You two are definitely friends because he complained the entire time too. My workouts are not that bad.”
“Baby, 2fo couldn’t walk for three days after he went to the gym with you, I’ll pass. But, you know we could always save water since I have to get ready too.” Jack answered you while wiggling his eyebrows.
All you did in response was peel off your workout bra and let it land on the floor and Jack’s eyes went wide quickly following you into the bathroom.
Druski came a few days earlier than expected, and you hadn’t been able to get a chance to talk to him because he always happened to be around Jack.
You would try to pull him to the side tonight while Jack was performing to tell him the plan and explain what was happening, but it seemed as if he had been a little standoffish towards you since the other day. He saw you along with Ace having lunch in the city and kind of stood a little to the side so that the two of you wouldn’t notice him. The two of you had gotten hungry on your excursion of trying to find yet another gift for Jack so the two of you stopped to get food. Little did you know Druski had taken pictures and sent them to Jack. But that wasn’t all, this had happened every day since he had been there and noticed how if he saw Ace, that you weren’t far behind and the last thing he wanted was for one of his good friends to get hurt.
Jack didn’t quite know how to feel when Druski told him and sent him the pictures.
He had told you about his trust issues and that his last relationship ended because he ended up getting cheated on.
But that wasn’t it.
He got cheated on and she got pregnant by the person that she cheated on him with.
So when Ace came to him and told him about you, he had his hesitations, but Ace insisted that Jack give you a chance and he finally agreed.
He knew that the two of you had hooked up in the past, but Ace assured him that he had no feelings for you whatsoever and that the two of you were just friends.
Now if that were true, why were you all over the city with Ace and it was just the two of you? And every day?
When he sat down and thought about it, you had been blowing him off to spend time with Ace and now he knew what he had to do.
He wasn’t about to get hurt again, so he needed to end it before it got to that point.
You had gotten Jack a specialized necklace that had ‘KY’ on it and was making your way back to the hotel to put it away before tonight’s show. It came in handy to know multiple jewelers in different states as well as different countries.
There were still about two weeks to go until the actual party, but everything was just about ready and set into place.
You were excited to be able to do this for your boyfriend and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.
He had spoiled you early on in your relationship and you wanted to be able to return the favor.
Once you reached your shared hotel room with Jack, you walked in to see your suitcases by the door and Jack sitting on the bed with a defeated look on his face.
“Umm, did I miss something? Is everything okay?” You asked while trying to come closer to Jack, but he immediately got up and moved away from you.
“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked while setting the bag down that contained his necklace on the nightstand.
“I should have known it was too good to be true, so you can take your shit and this plane ticket and go the fuck home. I don’t need to be cheated on again. And the fact that you did this knowing my trust issues? You got some fucking nerve.”
“First of all, what? And second of all, I would NEVER cheat on you.”
“Well that’s the same thing she said and she did and ended up getting pregnant in the process.”
“Jack, where is this coming from?!”
“It doesn’t matter, you got caught.”
“I didn’t get caught because I didn’t even do anything. You know how much I care about you!”
“Do I?” Jack asked and your breath hitched in your throat.
“I would never. I know how it feels too so why in the world would I do that to you?! You won't even tell me who I apparently cheated on you with!”
“It doesn’t even matter anymore. Here’s your ticket and I want you gone by the time I get back from my show.” Jack said while leaving it on the bed and slamming the door behind him.
You were at a loss for words and immediately started to cry.
Confused, hurt were just a few things that you were feeling and you just didn’t understand how the two of you had gotten to this point.
You looked down at the ticket to see that the flight was for 7 PM which was two hours from now and decided to catch an uber to the airport.
If he wanted you gone, he was going to get his wish.
And he better not come crawling back to you either once he realized what he did.
Jack’s show was about to start and Ace was looking all over for you since he had a suggestion about the party and wanted to run it by you. He went to go ask Jack and when he went into his dressing room, he saw him with a pissed off look on his face and Druski not even acknowledging his presence.
“Where’s Y/N? Has anyone seen her?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Druski said and Ace looked at him confused.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Jack, where is your girlfriend?”
“Ex-girlfriend and she should be on a plane going home by now 30,000 feet in the air.”
Ace was immediately confused.
“What? Why? What happened?”
“You two happened, that’s what. I should have known that it was too good to be true talking about we only hooked up once, but we’re still friends and don’t have feelings for each other.”
“Because we fucking don’t! I’ve been trying to get at one of her best friends, Blanca! So where the fuck is this coming from? As much as she talks about you and how highly she talks about you, ain’t no way in hell she would cheat, especially with me!”
“Then what the fuck were yall doing all cozy and shit this entire week?” Druski asked and Ace immediately got quiet.
“Don’t get quiet now. I have the pictures to prove it.” Druski added while Jack was simply scrolling through his phone trying to not think about his girlfriend cheating on him with one of his best friends.
“Pictures to prove what exactly? Her planning a surprise party for him for his birthday in two weeks? Is that it? Because that’s what we’ve been doing and she’s actually been doing this for an entire fucking month.”
“Wait, what?” Jack asked while putting his phone down and looking at Ace.
“Now you really thought I would hurt you like that and sleep with your girlfriend when all she asked for was my help because she wanted to do something special for you? All she does is talk about you.”
“Oh shit.” Druski muttered while looking back and forth between the two of them.
“Here, you can check my text messages to her to prove it.” Ace said while handing Jack his phone and he began scrolling to see that he was in fact telling the truth.
“You’re more of a dumbass than I thought and now you’ve probably lost her for good. She deserved better than you kicking her off tour and sending her home all because of a miscommunication and you probably didn’t even give her a chance to explain. And knowing Blanca, she is not going to let you anywhere near her because I know she’s going to tell her what you did. So congratulations, you just fucked up your relationship with a girl who would do absolutely anything for you. Oh, should I mention that the party was going to take place at one of her family’s vacation houses, with a private chef and she was flying in your parents, grandparents as well as Clay? You don’t deserve any of it for how you treated her.”
All Jack could do was sit there in utter disbelief.
“And Druski, the next time, I mean if there is one since you know Y/N is probably done with his ass and might be done with me too since I introduced them to each other, just fucking ask me.” Ace said before slamming Jack’s dressing room door behind him.
“I..” Druski started to say, but Jack immediately held up his hand to cut him off.
“You better come up with a good fucking plan in order for me to get my girlfriend back since all of this is your damn fault.”
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#jack harlow#jack harlow fic#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x black reader#jack harlow angst#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow x you#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow fanfiction
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Candy Squad - general info
For now it consists of Muffin, Jelly, Sugar and Honey, but later I might add on more characters
They are all aliens, but currently living on Earth (and really bad at disguises as you might have noticed). They are very much intelligent and they know exactly what they’re doing
Muffin is not the strongest out of them but he is the most aggressive and dangerous to humans. He has no desire to verbally communicate with humans so he makes no effort in learning any language or human society norms (not like he would obey any rules anyway). He's chilling and don’t want to be disturbed. Will not hesitate to harm whoever gets too close to him. But he might approach people himself if he feels like it (which is rare but happens). Tolerates chubby/fat people more, but only because they’re soft to lay on.
Muffin is surprisingly cuddly, it’s the safest to approach him when he is sleepy and in search of good place to hit a hay. He might even let you lay beside him, but he surely will have a death grip on you and it’ll be over the moment you wake him up by moving. Don’t touch him, he will touch you if he want’s to; don’t look at him too long he’ll get annoyed and you’ll be injured.
Overall the biggest asshole out of them.
Jelly. Not as aggressive as Muffin, on contrary very approachable and actively seeks attention from humans. But not completely trustworthy either. Jelly is very curious about everything that has to do anything with humans. He’s especially curious about languages and tries to learn as much as possible, which leads to rather annoying habit of trying to repeat everything he hears.
Now why is Jelly is not trustworthy. Jelly’s way of “exploration” works by rule “What you do to me - I can do to you”, any action towards Jelly he takes as a permission to do something he thinks is equal to your action. His curiosity has no limits, knowing that humans can be curious about him aswell, he actively tries to coarse people to push further and, for example, make them harm him, so Jelly would have “permission” to do the “same” thing. You see, considering the strength and durability of Jelly, you can’t actually hurt him, he would even allow you to stab him, but doing so you give him permission to gut you one day, when he gets curious about what’s inside you. He also is not above kidnapping if he finds the person interesting enough. If Jelly doesn’t like you - he will ignore you, until you bug him enough to harm you.
Overall he is safe, but you have to be careful about what you do around him, because you can’t really tell what Jelly sees is “equal” to your actions.
Honey is a shapeshifter. If Muffin’s resemblance of a cat is purely accidental - Honey choose to change her appearance this way because she noticed human’s positive attitude towards dogs and assumed she would look less intimidating and more friendly that way. It didn’t work, but she tries. Her original form is much bigger and looks more like Sugar’s.
She doesn’t seek human’s attention, but she also is not the one to harm them. She’s mostly chill and approachable, she’s friendly enough to indulge in possible curiosity of the humans but she does have her boundaries and won’t let you do anything like Jelly. Has an actual human friend
Hates Muffin to guts, and is actually stronger than him, but Muffin has his ways of escaping the deserved ass whooping.
Sugar is precious and have to be protected. But if being serous, while being the strongest, Sugar is a pacifist and actually a vegetarian, so he has no interest in your giblets
Sugar is not the brightest one, but he’s good natured and can be easily befriended by giving him a good big amount of vegetables, he especially likes cabbages, tomatoes and carrots. Very careful with any small things, but he panics in small spaces and does the exact opposite of being careful, freaking out and tripping over everything. Doesn’t like the other three, but tolerates Honey.
You literally cannot physically hurt him, it will take an anti tank rifle to do him some actual harm, so being almost invincible he has no fear or caution over who is approaching him and with what intentions. Try to stab him - he’ll look at you confused trying to figure out why you’re poking him all of a sudden but won’t assume that you were trying to harm him. His skin is a bit cold, but he will definitely let you sleep hidden in his tentacles if you ask for it.
Overall Is the safest to hang around
#oc#original character#original characters#monster#monster oc#alien#terato#monster fucker#monster lover#the candy squad#muffin#jelly#honey#sugar#tentacles
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Congrats on hitting 1000 followers!!! Can I request Guava with Leona in which the reader is participating in the Culinary Crucible and is Fed Up with him being a picky eater to the point that they don’t even want to hear what he has to say? (Male reader, if possible please)
Pairing - Leona Kingscholar x Reader
Prompt - "Shut up." "I didn't even say anything!"
...
You finished sprinkling the last bit of parmesan cheese onto your freshly made pizza and clasped your hands together in delight.
"There!"
It was a simple margherita pizza, the scent of fresh basil cutting through the acidity of the tomato sauce. You took a long whiff and sighed contentedly. After two long hours of cooking, you had finally finished your entry for the Culinary Crucible.
You lifted the plate and presented it to the head chef ghost with a smile. They nodded, sufficiently pleased with your final product.
"I must say, Y/N, this pizza look splendid," one of the chefs complimented. "I only envy the judge who gets to taste it!"
You laughed and made your way to the cafeteria where the judges waited.
Your smile dropped as soon as you entered the cafeteria and you turned to walk back into the kitchen.
"Leaving so soon, herbivore?"
"Why of all people does it have to be him?" you whispered to yourself, cursing Leona under your breath. You took a deep breath and turned around to face the lion with a fake smile.
"Lovely to see you here, Leona."
"Not that I don't love watching you grovel but could you tone down the customer service a bit, doll?" Leona scoffed at you, making your roll your eyes so far you thought they might end up on the other side of your head. "I don't need you to lie to me. Just give me the food."
You instinctively pulled your plate of immaculate pizza away from him, sheltering it like your child.
"Oh, come on. I'm not gonna hurt it."
"You aren't going to appreciate my culinary genius," you spat at Leona, knowing how picky he tended to be due to his blasted royal upbringing.
"Well maybe it just isn't that good," Leona smirked at you, his tail swinging amusedly behind him.
You had had it with this stuck up prince. Your pizza was like your baby and you would not allow it to be slandered by some meat-loving neanderthal who can't even appreciate a well-made margherita.
"Chef, may I please request a different judge?" You turned to the ghost, not bothering to get your hopes up when you saw the sympathetic look on their face.
"Sorry, Y/N, but the point of the judging is to be fair," the ghost shook their head as if mourning a terrible loss. "We can't swap judges just because of personal preference."
You groaned and reluctantly set the pizza in front of Leona.
"What exactly makes you think that I won't like this?"
"It's vegetarian."
Your answer was almost instant and, sure enough, Leona scrunched up his nose at the very mention of an absence of meat.
"Then what's the point?"
"Because it tastes good!" You cut yourself off with a groan and dragged your hands down your face.
"Not to me."
"You haven't even tried it!"
"Fine, I'll sample your culinary genius," Leona quoted you sarcastically. You tried to calm yourself down as he picked up a piece to take a bite of.
You turned around, not wanting to witness Leona slandering your beautiful creation. When you didn't hear any complaining, you groaned and turned around.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything!"
"No, but you were thinking it!"
"Yes! I know it's controversial but I do deign to think on occasion."
"I meant about my pizza!"
By the time you had run out of quips, you were fuming and the ghosts were wondering if they should step in. Luckily, they decided against it or they would've ruined the moment.
Leona looked away almost bashfully and mumbled something that you couldn't quite hear.
"I know it must be difficult to communicate with a plebian like me but would you please turn the volume up a little bit?"
"It wasn't that bad," Leona grumbled and ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly, though, why he was the exasperated one, you had not idea. "For something made by an herbivore, at least."
Your eyes widened in shock. Knowing Leona, you knew that "not that bad" may have been the highest compliment he had ever managed.
"I-" You didn't really know how to respond to that, considering that it wasn't a compliment a normal person would give. "Am I supposed to say thank you to that?"
"Don't say anything!" Leona barked and leaned his forehead in his palm, hiding his face from you. "Just get out of here. And take your stupid pizza with you."
You grabbed the plate, still a little gobsmacked. You regained your composure long enough to remember your true purpose: making fun of Leona.
You smirked and leaned over, peeked under his hand to look in his eye.
"You liked my pizza."
"I never said that!" he protested ardently.
"You didn't say you didn't like it!"
"I'll say it now! I didn't like it!"
"So why did you eat the rest of your slice?"
You wondered if Leona had even noticed that he'd eaten the rest of the slice of pizza but he seemed just a bit startled, either at his own actions or your observation.
"It's none of your business," he grumbled, pushing his chair away from the table he sat at. He tried to get up but you pulled his arm back down, jerking him forward so that your faces were mere inches from each other.
"Just admit it, Kingscholar," you chuckled, feeling an alarmingly amount of satisfaction from seeing the blush on the usually-composed beastman's face. "You liked herbivore pizza."
"I did no such thing and I certainly never will," he objected, determined not to be weak in your sight.
"So you can eat things other than meat. I thought for sure that you would throw a widdle tantwum until someone brought you your dino nuggies."
"Real mature."
"We can talk like adults when you start acting like one."
With that last word, you pulled away from Leona, scooping your prized pizza in your arms and whisking it away back to the kitchen.
Leona leaned back in his chair, stunned by your boldness. He laughed nervously and shook his head to snap himself out of it.
"What a fiesty little herbivore."
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#disneytw#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#nyxscarnival
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A Happy Feast
So I wrote a BG3 ficlet about my Durge. I'm not tagging it to avoid spoilers, but if you're not expecting some depravity, we're not playing the same game...
AO3 Link
They rolled back into camp near to midday, earlier than expected, but what was expected when a tadpole measured one’s life day by day, anyhow. Nobody felt good about it. But all that could currently be said had been aired, at length, and so they deflected into lesser complaints. Today, it was the menu.
“Not so much as a rabbit track,” Karlach moaned, as she stripped a sapling for tent poles.
Lae’zel was wiping her face with cool stream water. “The pleasures of this realm are few, but I would not regret the opportunity to savor a roast.”
“You’d have better luck roasting a stick,” Gale grumbled. He’d appointed himself keeper of their stores, and knew down to the last dry carrot what they had available to eat. And it wasn’t as bad as all that, at least not today—if one liked eating vegetarian.
“A stick!” Astarion scoffed, and then made to appear hurt at their suspicious looks. “What? I’m as hungry as any, I assure you.”
Nalarin said nothing, herself. Food was…food. A necessity and little more. But these…people hadn’t run. They didn’t know her, true, not know her, but most others she’d met since their little accident had at least a sense about her, so surely her companions here did as well. And yet they let her share their fire, travel with them, drew her into conversations, eventually. Shared their food. Like they wanted her to live, too.
And so Nalarin quietly took up her bow and headed back out into the wood.
Her errand took some time. When she returned, she found the others occupied in their own private tasks following a cold lunch, as had become habit on days that ended early. That suited her. Her task would take some time, with so little experience.
She made the fire away from the camp. No need for our clothes to stink of cooking, Gale had said, the first time she’d watched him. If the intensity of her observation had worried him, he hadn’t said. They were all like that. Willing to ignore a bit of discomfort for the sake of her company. It made an unfamiliar curl of warmth in the pit of her stomach, pleased without quite knowing why. She let that feeling fill her as she fussed over the pots, laboriously scrubbed and chopped and stirred and skewered. It was good to have something to feel and something to do; it emptied her mind entirely.
By the time the food was ready, Nalarin was thoroughly streaked and speckled with various remnants of her efforts. She thought she’d got the doneness of everything right, the turnips and carrots in the ash, the meat on the spit, the greens just lightly wilted. Of the seasoning she was less sure, and the herbs were a certain disaster. But she could eat it and not make a face, and so she declared it suitable and called everyone over for dinner.
Exclamations of surprise made the warm pool in her belly grow. “I hunted,” she explained, when they asked how?!
“If we’d known you were a good tracker, we’d have asked days ago,” Shadowheart declared, plopping down with a loaded plate. “What else are you hiding?”
Nalarin shrugged, but it hadn’t been a serious accusation. More pleased, almost teasing. She drummed her fingertips into the dirt. Too excited, almost, to eat herself.
After a time, a squirrel crept down from a nearby tree and scampered up her shoulder to shelter in a nest of her thick hair. She absently reached up to rub its tiny head. She liked animals; they didn’t make the dreams rise in her, not the way people did, and so it was safe to love them. Self-control with people was so…heavy. Wearying. Not having to fight it… bliss itself.
Afraid! it chittered, crowding into her scalp.
Her strokes grew soothing, her thoughts on all the small traps in the forest, designed to break small bodies but not to kill. The small corpses, pinned into the earth and unmolested by the scavengers, because even animals knew profanity when they smelled it.
As she cupped the creature in the curve of her palm, across the fire Wyll finished a bite and smiled at her. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Neither did I.” Wyll made her want to control herself. To draw a knife over flesh and barely cut. He was a monster much like her; one who made what he wished of his monster.
Her eyes narrowed and shifted to Astarion. There was a monster not like her. One who leaned into the monster, one who did not realize or perhaps did not care that it devoured him, inch after inch. One who did not recognize why he could not rid himself of the monster’s hollow feeling. The sort of monster, in fact, who made her think one day hers might pit itself against his.
Of all of them at this dinner, she thought he might realize. But he gave his portion a hard stare, shot her a glance she did not answer, and then returned for another bite. “Wonderful boar,” he declared.
“Really?” Karlach swallowed. “I thought it was rat! They can get quite gamey, you know.”
The tempo of Karlach’s mechanized heart never quite left her sensitive ear. To take it apart, piece by piece, examine its workings closely and their destruction… Little could be sweeter. Except, perhaps, to hear again her braying laugh, feel her solidity at her side along the road.
Maybe they were her friends, too. Nalarin’s memories might be gone, but some deep part of her was immensely certain she’d never had people who were friends.
Her own plate remained empty. The conversation continued, but they were used to her not talking much, and their sated voices swirling around her, contented by her effort, was food enough.
* * *
Much later, after the pots were cleaned, the cookfire doused, and everyone off to bed, Nalarin bent over the stream to wash her face clean of the last of the soot. She often stayed up late. The cool silence of night felt more home than the day.
“It is a very terrible thing thou hadst wrought,” said Withers, startling her into splashing her clothes.
But she straightened, and looked at him directly. “I don’t care for onions. When what we have is onions, Gale disguises them and doesn’t tell me they’re in the food, so I don’t have to think about it. How is what I did different?”
His wizened face regarded her for long moments, as if weighing her sincerity. Her honesty never ceased to surprise him. But in this, she was confident. How could it be different?
“Perhaps not,” he answered at last, shrugging, all bony eloquence. “Still, I wonder—how wouldst thy companions respond, if they but knew they partook in roast dwarf?”
Her mind again saw the little traps and the poor broken bodies she had buried in small graves. “He was a very bad dwarf.”
Withers looked down his nose at her, an impressive feat given he had no nose. “Thou wouldst know.”
Nalarin’s lips curved in the dark. Yes.
She would.
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hii I just wanted to ask if you could write something about jasper hale calming his mate fem reader (new born) down cause she’s supposed to feed on animals but she can’t hurt them cause she loves them too much and she used to be vegetarian as human and she’s scared that jasper will be upset when he finds out (and he will find out) that she’s not able to feed on animals she got changed In the night were she wanted to save Bella cause James attacked her and she didn’t made it so jasper changed her and she’s struggling as new born so she just ends up getting blood bags from Carlisle hospital its would be great if u could add a lot of fluff I would really appreciate it 🫶🏻
I kinda love this, little confusing towards the end but I think I got the gist of it. I hope you like it 🫶🏻 (I am also so so so sorry I didn’t post this sooner, I forget the check tumblr a lot)
Being human was easy. I had always been a vegetarian, my family was so I was. That changed entirely the day Bella and I met the Cullens. Bella and I had just moved. Starting in a new school was hard, finding new friends was hard, until Bella met Edward.
Once Bella became comfortable with the Cullens, she took me everywhere with them. It wasn’t until we played baseball in a lightning storm that I realised how hard it was to exist as a vampire. We had been attacked by a vampire named James and his crew. Being Bella‘s older sister, I tried my hardest to protect her, but I was unlucky.
I laid face down the ground as Jasper ran over to my dead body. Jasper and I had become very close in the short time I knew him, but what he did shocked me. I woke up laying in a strange bed in a big house, Jasper was sitting in the chair next to the bed. He looked at my direction when he realised I was awake. “What happened?” I asked him. “We were attached by some bad vampires, they killed you” he told me, his voice monotone. “So if I’m dead, why am I not actually dead?” I feared the worst, I knew how the Cullens fed and it wasn’t pretty, not by my vegetarian standards. “Darling, I couldn’t risk losing you” his hand finding mine to comfort me.
I’ve panicked and mine as fast as I physically could, which is surprising with my new speed. I was back in front of my house before I knew it. I raced upstairs and collapsed into my bed, thinking about what it happened and how I have to live. I couldn’t fathom the thought of eating an animal, or a human. I wouldn’t do it, so I didn’t.
I spent the next three days hiding in my room, avoiding everyone. I had become thin and pale, paler than I should’ve been. Sometime around midday, I heard three sharp knocks on my door. “It’s Jasper, can I come in?” He spoke through the thick wood. “Sure” I responded weakly.
“Oh darlin” he said as he walked in, sitting next to me on the bed. “Are you not eating?” He raised his eyebrow. “ I can’t Jasper. I just can’t. When I was a human, I was a vegetarian, and I couldn’t stand eating meat. There is no way I’m drinking blood from an animal no matter what kind of animal it is. It’s disgusting and it’s cruel. They shouldn’t have to suffer and I don’t know what to do” I blabbered.
“I have an idea, love. Can I take you to see Carlisle?” Jasper questioned. “Sure” I nodded. Before I could even try to stand, Jasper picked me up bridal style and began running. I curled my hand around his shirt, resting my head against his chest. Even though there was no heartbeat, it was still so calming.
After talking to Carlisle about my options, we settled on blood bags from the hospital he works at. After feeding on the bags I began to feel like myself again. That night I was cuddled up to Jasper when he asked me a question “why didn’t you tell be about the whole animal baby?” I turned around to face him, resting my chin on his chest. “A vampire that can’t feed right? That’s embarrassing and pathetic” I sigh “I didn’t want you to think of me like that”
Jasper pecked my nose and whispered “you are never less than perfect in my eyes, flaws and all gorgeous” his intense state had me blushing and giggling. I hid my face in his chest as he started laughing with me. “I love you, my vegetarian vampire” he whispered into my hair. “Love you too Jasper”
Im a little out of practise with the whole writing thing so if it isn’t good, I apologise 😅
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The last one (for a while)
I have zero drafts now, fewish followers, and this is going to be my 385th post.
I am logging off of tumblr, for a good bit. I did think about deleting my account, but i have people on here that i care about and who care about me (also i remember when @doritosaftersex deactivated his account and i felt bad). So instead ill come back in maybe a few months or years, or maybe never depends on well lol if i actually kms. Although don't worry i really doubt i have the time or energy for that. Before i go though i lowkey realised that i haven't ever spoken about like the well other side of me. The parts that i don't tumblr about. So here's this post- an Introduction and a Good-Bye.
My name's Piki, and that's me in the pfp { One of the good days}.
i like cats. (I think most people would start off like that).
M a living cliche and also a hypocrite cos i hate cliches and i literally wanna do something different, but oops =).
I have been in two relationships, second one going on right now, been over six months (and i think this is the last one because i might marry him [ totally will] and i couldn't ask for anyone more better).
I think I am an extrovert ? I don't really know. Making tumble mutuals was so hard for me i literally have only one ( @mqstermindswift ).
i like cyanide, the color and the song and the vibe. (My favourite artists are The Chainsmokers, Linkin Park, MGK, OH AND JAKEHILL [i love jake hill])
I like Italian food and will. eat. anything. that has cheese. I am kinda vegetarian though, i don't like the idea of eating an animal who probably had a family but i absolutely HATE animals as a whole (ref to point 3 about me being a hypocrite)
I hate everyone and everything, the first thing that i said to morphi and it also got me my nickname piki - which means m picky about everything.
i also love doing everything (fk m confusing). i dance, and love to cook, and i draw really well, and i can play the guitar, i learnt the violin nd the piano too a bit, i like debating a lot, and volunteering for things.
On the surface my life seems great, but then comes the well the stuff- i mean clearly it would take you a few scrolls across my blog to see how er bad it really gets but well-
I might have bpd? i am not sure.
i feel terribly lonely sometimes and also inferior to everyone around me.
my parents are not the greatest people out there. they both have done stuff that well i wont type it out here of course, but its bad.
the above thing dig this really deep pit of trust issues and well now i believe in tragedies more than hope ( morphi hates that but he'll get it once he knows)
i have tried to km, when i was younger. And if i had a penny for everytime i thought about killing myself elon musk and i would be homies.
i am really gorey, and i like horror movies and the gore and CNC and stuff.
i cant open up. too many expectations.
i get really low sometimes and i end up saying stuff or doing stuff and i don't particularly remember why or what i did, and so i poof (another thing morphi hates).
i hurt myself a lot which probably comes from point 6.
Sounds like two different people now. There is SO MUCH i haven't told about me, but if you have even like read this at all. M lowkey impressed. I am not going to go in and fix my spelling mistakes and capitalisation so go figure.
OKAY GOODBYE.
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Wayne funded events and other stuff like that isn't Damian Wayne's go to thing. Damian was refusing to go and put a small fuss over it.
Normally he'd make a comment and suck it up... buuuut he was being stubborn as hell and possibly, kinda, maybe hiding something... a whole fucking wound, but it's totally fine! He took the necessary steps on his own to care for it... now it was recovery that he refused to tell anyone about. Sure... maybe, sorta the wound wasn't healing properly... a tiny bit sorta maybe? It was... getting a bit worse possibly, maybe it was getting infected...
As if he would tell anyone, his pride is too strong to do that! Damian was surprised to find it becoming infected, he did so well to treat it.
Jason stepped into his room with his own annoyed face, he was the same with all of the events as well. "Dami, come on we gotta go" "I do not wish to go to that forsaken event" "Yeah me either, but we gotta do it regardless. So come on" "I already said no"
"Everyone else is pulling their weight, why can’t you?"
He doesn't mean bad by it, hell Jason said it with a light chuckle as a joke, but it's Damian's perfect complex that gets in the way.
Any sign of being no longer of use is scary. Damian sighed "I suppose you are right" Jason had a small smile "Good, I need my partner in crime so I don't have to suffer alone" "Tt. Come on then"
The car ride was... not so well either. Damian felt himself growing hot by the second, a case of what people would call "sickness" but he'll be damned if he said it to anyone. "Hey Little D, you ready?" Damian rolled his eyes "I rather stay in the vehicle" "...We could take it when no one is looking and drive out of here" "Not a bad idea Todd" Dick frowned "None of that today you two. Bruce is counting on us"
Damian and Jason sighed exasperated, the drive continued.
.
"Thank you all for coming. I'm sure the trip here was well?"
"Yeah it was all good B, thanks"
Bruce nodded and smiled, everyone went their separate ways. Damian usually stuck by Bruce, tonight he went to the shadows. Tim and Dick would converse with many others, Stephanie, Cassandra and Duke would be eating or speaking to a few people (not really Cassandra, she would just listen for the most part). Jason would linger around, either away from everyone or close to Dick so he could say he was there or something.
Damian felt as if every second here was unbearable, but he has to go through it. Once it's over and they arrive home, then he'll treat it properly. For now, he has to make it out.
"What are you doing lurking Demon?"
"Funny you would talk Todd"
"Heh maybe, anyways normally you'd hang by B, what's changed this time?" A fever. A fever is what changed it this time.
"Nothing, simply too tired to look somewhat interested in whatever anyone has to say"
"That sounds about right. Want something to eat?"
Damian shrugged, the thought of eating made him feel bad, but he can't let it slip. Jason left to the giant table of servings, leaving Damian to his shadowed corner.
This sucks. I hate these events, so time consuming
"I'm back bud, got a salad and whole bunch of other vegetarian food for you"
Jason passed the plate and Damian took it "Thank you Akhi"
The two spoke and laughed a bit as they ate, then Damian finished...
Fuck his life entirely. The food didn't sit well with him, he has to get out, make it natural don't raise any suspicion. "Thank you for the food Todd, I have to go use the restroom now" "Alright. I'll see you"
Damian left in a small hurry, trying to play it off as he opened the door and rushed to a stall. Slamming the door shut and barely making it as he vomited his insides out. Everything hurt.
Raising his shirt up, the cut was swollen and red, some blood was staining his shirt.
Not now.
If this keeps up then they'll find out...
~
Jason saw some small signs off of Damian, chalked it up to not wanting to come and he couldn't blame him for that. Then the suspicions changed as it was a whole 30 minutes and Damian hadn't returned. At first Jason thought he missed him and the kid left to the garden or something. Even asking everyone else, not a clue. Asking for everyone to keep an eye out, not tell Bruce and for Jason to look for Damian himself. If the family began to search then it would raise unwanted looks from the guests. If Bruce knew he would get nervous and maybe even shut down the event early.
Jason went to the restroom, last place the kid said he was going. Jason went in to hear vomiting from one of the stalls. Someone might have drank too much, well that's what Jason thought before he heard cries that were highly familiar.
"Habibi?"
A whine came out from the stall and it became slightly silent "Dami I know you are here, tell me what's going on?"
"Y-You won't tell?"
"No I won't" Get him to spill, then coax him to let others know was what Damian usually required.
"Okay..." A click and Jason opened the door, standing in shock before closing the door and locking it up. "Holy shit kid" His stomach had a horrible swollen, red cut about the length of his own forearm. "Shit, what happened?!"
"No... shouting. Didn't want to say about it, thought if I could make it through the night then..." Damian groaned and Jason kneeled down to see the wound at an angle where Damian was still over the toilet. "So you decided to not tell anyone you had a fucking infection?" "It wasn't this bad... I did everything right and then it got worse" "This is why you didn't want to go... why didn't you say anything? You wouldn't have had to go or you would have got it properly treated before when you first got hurt" "You said... I had to pull my weight, if I showed weakness then... I wouldn't be of any use"
Jason mentally slapped himself, God how could he forget how Damian is with hearing things like that and not getting a joke if it's hidden like that. "I didn't mean it like that, if I'd known then I would have made Bruce let you skip this one" "Sorry" "Don't apologize, what matters is getting this treated immediately. Come on, I'm gonna take you home and clean it up" "Father would be... upset would he not?" "No he won't, I'll let him know that I'm going to be there and that I have it under control. Of course I will be doing that once we are already in the Manor so he can't complain"
Damian nodded and Jason put the back of his hand on Damian's forehead "You're burning up as well... okay steady now I'm gonna carry you. We can take the back exit"
Damian was slowly picked up and he leaned his head against Jason's chest. His face flushed and drowned in sweat.
.
Finally making it back, Jason had to drive very slowly as to not upset Damian's stomach. Picking him up once more and going down the elevator to the Cave. "We're here, I already told everyone what happened. Dickie was a bit frantic, but it'll be okay. They are going to keep the event going while I take care of you" Damian lied down on the bed as Jason got everything needed to help. "Okay, stay with me now. This is gonna hurt, but I swear it's to help you" Damian's vision was bleary as he opened his eyes, a stinging pain shocking him "Nngh!" "I know, I know. It will be over, don't worry Habibi"
Damian's breath was shaky, but he managed to steel himself against the pain. "Hurts..." "I know, but it will be better. After I finish up, you can rest and you'll be okay in no time" Damian's mind was muddled as if fresh ink spilled on paper he couldn't concentrate, regardless he did as Jason said and tried to focus on whatever he could. "Okay, I cleaned it and re-did the stitching and all that stuff needed. I need you to take some medicine, one for the fever, another for the pain so you can at least rest" Damian sat up slowly as Jason moved to the left filing through a whole cart worth of supplies, making his way back and preparing a cup of water. "How bad is the pain?" "S'not so bad" "Yeah for you to start slurring like that says otherwise" Three pills in total "Open your mouth" Damian did as told, then Jason cupped Damian's jaw with his hand still holding the cup and helping Damian down the pills.
"Good, I'm gonna pick you up and take you to your room now"
"Kay"
Slow and steady, too fast and Damian might vomit or worse and honestly speaking, Jason doesn't want to see that.
"Okay there we go, nice and easy into the elevator we go"
"Can you hold my hand?"
"I'm holding your entire body up, don't have enough hands to right now"
"Mother when will I get to meet father? Is he as strong as grandfather?"
"...you're delirious. That bad of a fever?"
"I hope when I meet father... that he is proud of me too. I'll be strong and amazing just like him. Mother, can you sing for me? I like hearing your voice... soothing"
Jason closed his eyes for a moment and began to sing in Arabic, an old lullaby that Jason slightly recalls Talia had sung for Damian. He doesn't remember some of the words, so he just says something that may sound sweet to help. Walking to Damian's room and lying him down on the mattress, covering him with a blanket and turning on the AC as to help him cool down a bit. Jason kept singing while doing all of this.
For the first time tonight, Damian looked relaxed and content.
#damian wayne#damian wayne has feelings and he wont admit it#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#mentioned cassandra cain#mentioned duke thomas#mentioned stephanie brown#tw throwing up#tw minor blood#tw infection#mentioned talia al ghul
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Kung lao sfw abcs
Ahhhhhh! Hat Bae time!!! It's kung lao loving hours.
(I mean i always love lao but ya know i have a shang simpin quota to meet. But outside the blog,it's always been lao lovin hours.)
Cw: none really,outside rant,maybe slight angst. Like lao is my ultimate fave character in mortal kombat period. (Plz don't be mad but lao comes before any other characters for me,even shang. Look i love shang but lao was my first,was here first,and still is best boi)
💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?): well kung lao despite seeming confident. Is quite shy. Not to say he won't make a move if pressured by friends/liu kang. "Bro make a move already,we'll be old and grey by the time you make a move with them,heck I'll have great grandchildren by that time!" . But after the ice is broken. He is the sweetest bean. He'll open doors,fetch you anything you need. And honestly regardless if this relationship goes any further. Kung lao is willing to always help you. Him baby ok? Sassy baby. But baby none the less. (Honestly me n kung would be a constant battle of "no you're cuter" "i love you more" "no,you hang up first" much to everyone's annoyance. But they also in the same are happy for Lao. )
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?): omfg besties. Granted friendship can come easy for kung but in the same vein,hard for him. He needs lots of reassurance. Plz help him. It may hit off good depends on who you are and your stances with him. But honestly kung lao is the best friend you could ever have. He is funny,loyal,has a cool hat,like fr what's not to love. (Ok im bias he's my main dude and i dont tolerate slander against hat bae) but if you don't like his "bragging" understand its not out of ego. It's a defense mechanism against the injustice his ancestors have been delt,the constant comparisons to liu kang(which dont make sense because liu respects him as an equal and so does lao right back so none of this slander in canon makes any sense and is kinda annoying af and unnecessary. And it shows hella bias and passive aggressive hate to him) and others pressuring him for perfection to be like everyone else. Yet they also brag about shit,yet when he does it. Suddenly its a problem. Sorry this turned into a rant. My bad.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?): he's a cuddlebug. Any chance he gets with you. He hangs onto you like superglue. His fave way to cuddle is to spoon you from behind,his face in the crook of you neck. He just buries his face in you. He is afraid to let go. Because sometimes he feels if he does. He wouldn't see you again. Again it's his fears. He tries to hide them sometimes and be strong for you. But oof does he die inside when you leave him. But reassuring him,you aint going anywhere. (Srry i just love lao so much)
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?): tbh if he could retire. He would but never fully. Because of not just his self responsiblity but also his loyalty to his friends. But domestic life with lao is sweet. He's equal with chores. He cooks pretty good. His fave thing to cook is noodle soup. Despite being a monk,kung lao isn't a true vegetarian. However most of his diet is vegetarian. But on lunar new year. He treats himself to homemade beef noodle soup and char siu. Its one of the few times he lets himself indulge like that.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?): oh no baby why did you do that?! Who would break up with this bean?! What's wrong with you?!. But if you had to,he would rather it be upfront and formal. But just know this is gonna hurt him deeply. And he may not open up again to another person,at least for a long time. Like oof.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?): ok kung lao,once he has made up his mind. Once things get past awkwardness. And he feels it's safe. Mrs.kung is soon what you'll be addressed as.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?): him baby like i said. Kung lao is a very gentle lover. Not so say he cant be rough. Not to say he wont be sassy. But to his beloved,he wants you to feel safe and secure in the same as he does. Hand holding. Soft caresses. Gentle "i love yous" and reassuring forehead kisses.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?): he loves hugs. This is a good way to reassure him. Any chance he can get from you. And laos hugs are super warm and affectionate. You feel safe in his arms. His hugs feel like home.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?): you may say it first. But after that he says it shortly after. And never stops saying it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?): he can get that way a bit. But honestly he trusts you. But not to say he wont be cheeky or passive aggressive to that person trying to get on his bad side. But in all honesty despite being a bit protective of you (he has good reason to be btw) he actually does respect your space. But he's gonna go to you about it 9 outta 10 times. But don't push him plz.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?): passionate,hungry,longing,sweet but also gentle. He kisses you as if they are the last kisses you'll ever share. Besides your lips. The neck,the forehead,the hand,and a gentle cheek peck is the common. But he absolutely is over the moon for a cute kiss on the cheek or forehead. But if you kiss him right on the lips? Im not responsible for how much he goes on and on about how sexy you are to his friends.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?): he loves kids. But he wants to be in a place to be able to support them properly. But kung lao is pretty cool with children. He's the fun dad.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?): warm tender hugs. A slightly raspy, "good morning darling". Morning tea brewing,a nice breakfast. Just peaceful.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?): serene. Here with you in his arms. His twilight respite. The crickets chirping. After a nice warm meal. Reclining and enjoying each others company before dozing off to sleep. Laying there in the soft moonlight of the window peaking through. His soft breath on your neck as you both slumber. To wake again to your handsome lao in the morning.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?): ok its a tad slow but honestly if he trusts you he will slowing talk to you about his insecurities. Like i said he needs reassurance. Once he has this from you. He trusts and protects you with his life.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?): don't push him. But he despite being boastful. He is hardly quick to anger. That is something you SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR! He is very patient despite his shortcomings. And he knows how to bring the hurt. Don't push him.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?): he remembers the important things. But sometimes he needs reminders. But that isn't his fault tbh. (Kung lao adhd anyone?) But he tries. He certainly makes up for it in acts of service and gifts and being there for you. No matter how late.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?): he says when he first laid eyes on you (kung lao you flirt). But realistically,
Probably your first date. This is where he bared his soul to you. Probably something simple like a picnic under a blossom tree. Or somewhere serene that ment a lot to him.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?): very protective. But not so much so that he becomes overbearing. He knows you can manage yourself. But he still doesn't like to take chances either. He always is looking out for you. If you feel uncomfortable around someone. Talk to him,he'll speak with them to respect your boundaries. If you feel scared or anxious,hold his hand or arm. He'll wrap his around you and hold you close so you feel better. For himself,you just being there and telling him its ok is enough.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?): he tries to put as much effort as his brain will let him.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?): i honestly dunno. Probably beating himself up too much or taking on too much. Kung lao plz,take a break.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?): he takes good care of himself. But also he is humble in that area too? Honestly he isn't any more concerned than the next guy tbh. And i dont know where people get this from? I mean of course he wants to look good for you. So does everyone. So eh.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?): kinda yeah. He would be devastated if he lost you.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.): kung laos hat has a subspace magic that can store shit and well as be a filter to help him teleport. Tho he can teleport without his hat. That hat is a good pinpoint to an area. He did a hat trick once,put a bunny in there. Johnny never shuts up about it. Constantly is trying to get him to do it for him. But kung lao refuses. Because it was one time. And he doesn't like to keep live animals n creatures in his hat for long. Because he care for the fur babies. Oh he also is a happy flirty drunk. But funny enough bo-rai-cho taught him drunken style too. So he can also fake it too. But he doesn't like using it often. But he'll never say the reasons why.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?): someone cruel. Especially to animals or children. Overall he's open and tolerant of a lot of crap (probably more so then he needs to be,but eh he is a monk. Patience is a virtue) but some things are a hard no for him. Cruelty and violence outside of a tournament or when nessicary is unacceptable to him. He can try to talk you out of it. But he isn't above whooping ass either if needed.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?): kung lao can sleep almost anywhere. But he has to have his morning tea and evening tea. Other than that,he's good.
⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩💖⛩
Hope you loved this.
Again we stan one spinny boi. 🌪💖⛩🥺
#mortal kombat#self ship#self shipping#kung lao#kung lao mortal kombat#kung lao mk#💖⛩hat bae💖⛩#an absolute cutie is what kung lao is#lao bao 🥺💖#mk f/o#my many self ships#lao is still got my uwus
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Wait show me the dreamswap dream thesis
I'm going to split this into two parts, the first one being "so Kai is an unbiased party when it came to making Dreamswap" and the second being "oh yeah this is DS Dream's character", since I got two asks about this and I want to show both of my sides when it came to how I feel about this character.
If I get seemingly angry in this ask, know this isn't directed at you anon (hence why I answered this ask with Part One bc the other person isn't anonymous and I don't want any misunderstandings), I'm more angry at the whole fiasco about the inner workings of how DS Dream came to be.
I just want to give you a little hint about how I feel about Kai's interpretation of OG Dream, because that is VITAL information to know before I tear everything to pieces.
Part One: Kai's interpretation of OG Dream's characterization is like corporate meddling at EA games, but there's not even a fun game at the end.
If you read their starcrossed fic and had at least a CRUMB of what Dream's character is like in Dreamtale, or be like me who actually talks to Joku at times or have a friend who talks to Joku a lot more then I do, you understand just how terrible this fic is. I just want to grab it, rip it up, and then rewrite it all. I won't, because that's disrespectful as fuck, but I could just see how it could be improved.
But it is painful to read, and it's all so wrong.
Dream is not bitter about trivial things like that. Sorrowful that his brother - his actual brother, not this goop-monster that spreads negativity - is gone? Yes! Does he let his feelings get pent up because he doesn't want others to feel bad? Also yes! But being bitter about Cross saying pineapple was better on pizza, while comedic, breaks character more then Dream wanting to fuck Cross. (Since he's canonly demipanromantic and asexual, though I don't think he's sex repulsed, just uninterested and also uneducated bc. y'know. 400+ years in stone. Wanted to throw that out there btw)
But if you know what Dream's character is like, at least an OUNCE of what he is like canonly, this so-called "Starcrossed" is more painful then a white girl who never encountered real spice in her life eating Carolina reaper sauce. I am NOT exaggerating, that fic is likely as painful as that. I could go into the nitty gritty and the nitpicky on that fic, but that's not what we're here for.
Dreamswap Dream is Kai's version of what he thinks OG Dream "should" be, without taking any account of what OG Dream ACTUALLY is.
Because, y'know, asshole OG Dream is sooooo much better then what he's actually like. It's like skinny dipping into a mud bath, but instead of mud it's just shit.
OG Dream doesn't swear, he can't read or write for shit, he clearly would NEVER murder his brother, and he even went vegetarian because he thinks life is sacred and wouldn't even have an animal in his meal (though dairy/eggs/all that would be still on the table because that can be harvested without hurting the animal), and he would never touch Nightmare's side of the tree.
DS Dream does swear (though mostly in alarm/surprise), he can clearly read or write because how else would he do paperwork, you tell me if he wants to murder his brother, he kills people like it's break time because they "spread negativity" so you tell me if he thinks life is sacred and shouldn't be ended, and what do you think the apple incident in Dreamswap was all about when Dream ate all the positive apples.
However, I do know one thing: A swap is meant to swap characters, and while Dreamswap was meant to swap "roles", it also dabbles in changing personalities as well. So, while there is fair criticism that Dream in Dreamswap is nothing like in Dream in Dreamtale, I have to say this:
The reason that Dream is different is because of this IS a swap universe, even if creative liberties have been taken.
Is Error fine with others touching him and likes to donate his knitting to kids in need, or having others point out he's an error? Or is Swap a manipulative piece of shit that doesn't like being violent at all and also dislikes other Swaps? No?
Or is Ink someone who willingly works for Dream because he can and also doesn't have a hand or care in AUs being created, or is Cross someone who hates Dream's guts and would only join him under duress? No?
They are swapped with each other, but while I understand that OG Dream is handled pretty badly in terms of Kai (I mean, you know that Dreamswap was born from parodying Zelda and jumping on the "Joku is Bad" train, right? It won't ever be good as Dreamtale), and that the creator originally created Dreamswap to be somehow "infinitely better then Dreamtale" (no, it isn't, and I've loved Dreamswap since 2018, I'm just not a paint-huffing zombie like some of the fans here). I can understand why many fans of Dreamtale have a distaste for DS Dream - he's not the loving amazing muffin that OG Dream is, and I get that to hell and back
But also, it's still an AU at the end of the day, and while it's not a fully proper swap originally created from drama and for memes, none of the characters are going to fully be what they are in OG. If you want Ink and Error to still act like themselves, there's OG right there, and if you want Ink and Error to switch places, may I propose Pale and Template?
Part 2 will be in the second ask I got of this, 'cause I got two asks regarding this JUSFHSIURGHDG
#dreamswap#dreamtale#dreamswap dream#dreamtale dream#ds dream#mod felis#character analysis#mild rant#prolly?
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OMG YOU SERIOUSLY DO TWILIGHT ILYSM
would you do Jasper accidentally turning a seventeen year old y/n in the forest because she cut her knee open or something and he deals with her terrible moods because she lives with the cullens now. her ability is to like 'fall asleep' and be able to wander around like her spirit can. but she doesn't like feeding on the animals cause she thinks its stupid so the family kinda dissaproves
Headache- Newborn x Cullens
Pain— constant pain. I was writhing in it, and groaning in agony. It felt like my body had caught on fire and I was burning alive. I had to endure three days of pure torture to become a monster. I really didn't feel the need to be a vegetarian as the Cullen's liked to put it. Not that I wasn't hungry, the thought of sinking my teeth in an animal kind of grossed me out. Besides, I'm a seventeen year old new born. I'm going to be a teenager forever. If hell was a feeling, I was going to be in it forever.
It was all because of that damn forest. If I hadn't hadn't there, and hadn't been so clumsy then I would still be human. All I remember was that I was supposed to be going hiking. My brown hiking boots were strapped up, and against my better judgment, I strayed away from the trail. The wind was blowing nicely and it made me feel like I could really breathe up there, and I was soaking it all in. I had stepped on so many crunchy leaves and twigs that the ground didn't feel much like ground anymore so I tried to be cautious and step over some but that was when I not so graciously tripped on an uprooted tree. I ended up scraping my knee and I didn't think anything of it. The blood wasn't too bad so I reached for my backpack that was still attached attached me to quickly grab a band-aid, but the wind had blown a bit harder, and vampires are natural hunters so I didn't hear him coming. Next thing I knew, he was drinking my blood as if I were a human juice box.
Lots of people would have resentment for being turned, but I didn't blame Jasper. I knew that he felt guilty enough afterward. He had enough restraint to stop himself from really killing me, but if I can be honest I hate this place. The perfect family. That's what we had to be. Not to be seen for what we truly are, even if they just killed animals like every other hunter in this town. The whole thing was stupid to me, and now my new family hates me because I refuse to kill an animal. Well, Rosalie hates me to be more specific. She thinks I'll draw too much attention to myself and get us us killed by the Vulturi. Carlisle is just a bit disappointed, even though he doesn't show it, it is still obvious that he is. He gives me the choice on what I want to do, but he's hoping that I choose the option that aligns with their morals and lifestyle.
The only cool thing about being a vampire is that we all get our respective abilities. Alice can see the future, Edward can read minds. Mine being me comfort. As everyone known, vampires don't sleep, but us sort of like being in a state of meditation. Being still and quiet without the restfulness of a good night's sleep. I can travel the world like a ghost. Nobody sees me and I can't hurt anyone if there is nobody around to hurt, and I can see the world like the way I used to see. Colorful and cozy. I can feel things like the way I used to feel it, like the way the rain water hit my skin and didn't make me feel like a wet stone statue. I am ghost-like in that state, but I can feel somewhat human when I use my powers.
Today was a day that I planned on using my power to its full extent. Why today? Because it's the Cullen's favorite day. Hunting day. I certainly don't feel like joining them. My plant for today is to be in my room and escape like I always do. Emmett stomped into the blinding white living room. "You're going to have to do this at some point." Emmett stated his eyes looked almost feral as he was mentally getting ready to fight off a mountain lion. I gave him my best death glare, but I'm not as threatening as I would like to be. How could I be threating to someone who had the muscles of a bear? I just couldn't. "You're either going to go on a human blood frenzy or starve yourself to death! Pick the better choice and hunt a damn deer! You're going to get us all killed one day!" Rosalie said as she looked like she would murder me right here. Esme and Carlisle's eyes looked at me in sympathy. They treated me like something was wrong with me and that made me nauseous. If I could be sick, I would. "She can decide for herself what she wants. Let her be, but I'm trusting her to make the best choice." He gave me a stern fatherly expression before turning away and grabbing a navy blue coat off of the coat rack like he needs it. Esme put a loving hand on my shoulder before she left. "I'll try to bring something back for you to eat. I'm not letting you starve or find out that you sunk your teeth into an innocent human." Esme was always motherly to me. She was the closest out of all of them to being human. She had compassion and love for everyone, and she is the only one who had the patience to deal with me; I respect her the most.
As they left, I quickly headed to my room, closing the door behind me and lying down on the couch next to my CD player that Edward had gifted to me. I let my body sink down into the couch and I closed my eyes. One...two...three. I counted to myself and concentrated on my power. Soon enough, the usual feeling overcame me. It felt like I was falling, but I knew it well enough to not be scared of it. Focusing on what I could feel in the state that I was in. Mossy covered trees, brown twigs, rocks, lake water. I could feel and see all of it. I walked through the forest just like I used to and it was beautiful. The trees were covered with moss and rain water just as it was that day. The breeze that ran through the forest left chills on my arms as I soaked it all in. The feeling this gave me felt like a dream yet also felt like I was really human and that's what I loved about my powers. It felt so real. Suddenly, the smell of a human threw me off completely. I walked cautiously to the root of the smell, and to my surprise, it was me. It was me on that day. I tried to warn her but I couldn't because she wouldn't hear me. I watched myself trip and saw as the blood ran down my leg in a small trickle, but there was nobody there to bite me. The smell of ran through my nose and rushed through my senses leaving a horrible feeling of insatiable hunger that ran through me. This wasn't like the other times that I drifted. This was different. This was scary. I tried to hold myself back but the restraint that I needed was almost impossible to achieve at his point. The only way was to try to get back. Closing my eyes and focusing on my world. The Cullen's house. Thr cold atmosphere. The classical music that played throughout the house. Focusing on the last miniscule detail of Carlisle and Esme's faces. I was instantly pulled back, surrounded by everyone. "Are you okay, newbie?" Emmett asked. "You've been out for hours." Edward stated. "We tried shaking you out of it, because your emotions were going crazy. You were scared..and hungry. Like ravenous." Jasper explained. I sat up with slight confusion washing over me from the experience that I just had. The blood-thirst that was still running through my veins still burned my throat. It wasn't hard to see what I wanted as they all could see and feel it. "I told you she was hungry." Rosalie said while rolling her beautiful golden eyes. "Here, drink it. I told you I'd bring you something." Esme handed me a bag ofbblood that she somehow collected for me. I took it immediately with no questions and sipped on it hungrily. A small thank you left my lips as I finished. The feeling of hunger was quickly replaced with a feeling of contentment. "All better now right?" Emmett said with a smirk. "Hopefully your mood swings will subside. I was getting tired of leveling them out." Jasper said. "You should've read her mind. That was a horror movie all on its own." Edward chuckled. "Do you need anything else?" Carlsile asked. I thought about asking him about what I just saw, there was not point in keeping secrets anyway. "I saw myself the day that Jasper accidently turned me, but I was the one standing there instead of him. I felt like I had no control." Carlisle instantly went into doctor mode as he listened intently. "I feel like it could be that you used your gift while you were too thirsty. It sounds like it was just a side effect. You need to be more careful." The parental nagging; it felt endearing. "You'll be okay." Carlisle patted my shoulder. "I think we should all give her some space now. Let's go kids." Esme said as she escorted them all out. "I'll check on you later." She said as she lovingly left a kiss on my forehead. I was taken aback by her motherly gesture, but I didn't hate it. I relaxed back down and reached for the on button on the CD player as I let Bach fill the room.
Tag list:
@flamey-0
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377.
1) What’re your plans for the weekend?
It’s halfway through Sunday and I’ve done as little as humanly possible lol. Work has just been insanely busy over the past few weeks and I just needed a break.
2) Could you ever be vegetarian - why or why not?
I could be, but it’s not something I would actively choose for myself again.
3) Name a quote from your favorite TV show:
"And just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy and it IS A BIG DEAL”.
4) What time did you wake up this morning?
Around 7.30am but I didn’t get up for another couple of hours.
5) What chores do you do around the house?
I mean, this is my house so, everything that needs doing really. The only things I don’t do are the lawn and the bins/recycling as I can’t do much heavy lifting or moving without hurting my back even more.
6) Do you like windchimes, or do they annoy you?
They’re pretty, but they’d really annoy me if I had to live with them.
7) How much sleep do you usually get a night?
On average about seven hours, give or take.
8) If you could have any outfit, cost not an issue, what would you get?
I’d probably be really practical and pick an outfit I could wear riding and to work as that shit is ridiculously expensive.
9) Do you play any instruments?
I can play piano and a few chords on guitar.
10) What song would you say describes your life right now?
The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars.
11) Do you have snacks lying around your room?
No, but.I do have loads of snacks available in the kitchen lol.
12) Did you get up to much today? If it’s morning, what are your plans?
I got up around 9.30am, did the housework, had a shower, made a coffee and that’s about it, lol. The only thing I need to do tonight is go and feed Tommy and Millie but that won’t be for another 4-5 years now.
13) What’s your favorite animal to see in the zoo?
Tigers, penguins, lemurs.
14) When do you start back to school or college?
I haven’t been in any kind of education for over a decade now, thank God.
15) What other social networking sites are you on?
Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr.
16) What was the best year of your life?
I couldn’t pick just one year. Most years have had good and bad parts.
17) What plans do you have for the rest of summer?
Summer is over lol, we’re already in autumn. I spent most of my summer working and horse-riding. It was...tiring, lol.
18) How old is the person you like right now?
He’s 38 years old.
19) Do you get an allowance? How much?
I mean, I’m an adult with a job lol. I earn about £1500 a month, give or take.
20) What games console is your favorite? What about favorite game?
I don’t really play console games anymore, but I always preferred xBox to anything else, though the Wii was good too when it was new out.
21) If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be and why?
An all-inclusive beach resort with a private pool so I could just switch off.
22) Do your parents nag you a lot? What about?
I mean, not now I live alone, but when I was younger it was mostly about my room being a mess, watching too much TV and sleeping in too late.
23) What is there on the walls of your room?
A couple of bookshelves, a mirror and two watercolour painting things.
24) Is there anyone that just really annoys you?
Hahaha, oh yes.
25) What are your plans for tomorrow, anything good?
I��m working, plus I have a riding lesson as well. Hopefully this one won’t be cancelled as I don’t want to skip two weeks worth of lessons.
26) If you could wake up tomorrow being able to do one thing perfectly, what would it be?
I would make it so Archie didn’t have separation anxiety anymore as it would make my life MUCH easier and it would mean I could earn more money too.
27) You have two wishes to make to help the world, and one can’t be “another wish” or anything similar. What wishes do you make?
Universal healthcare and no more hunger.
28) Do you reckon world peace is possible or are we just too selfish?
Nope, I definitely don’t believe it’s possible. Humans are too selfish and shitty as a species.
29) Do you listen to Bright Eyes?
Not anymore, but I absolutely loved them as a teenager.
30) Are you interested in politics, or do you just not care?
I’m interested to an extent, but I cba debating it with people or anything.
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It was a long cold bad weather night....I was not suspecting that.....
He told me he would have shared his benefits but if the wrong people see this.....
So i told him root beer and ice cream and pastries first thing in the morning on a 54 degree day....even if I had normal housing is much too cold for me.....
I would have a hyper diabetic episode and the wrong people would get called....my blood pressure drops in unhealthy ways I was white and I get to be salty meaty and full figured....so you often have to live through people stealing my benefits as male forward and its always more been womens studies
Foriegn Muslims like pakistans are very shocking that way about fair observance they know we don't practice progressive gender theories and so it's kill people of too much of the same stimulus instead of counter acting it....
Most men do require more veganism here....and vegetarian calorie intake to support their weight
I started looking like a very passive opiate kill so it's finally feed her so she kills it off us ...
There are helicopter drones over head and I am not dutifully unfeeling and an English mob that doesn't cry mercy it's just a spectacle to teach the students
Its pack I....gas lighting throw a pack on her paki.....
If it's Muslims like pakistanis to Christians at times here they should have been more giving and forgiving they get even more greedy if its times they should have put people inside at leisure they kept dumping everyone out even more ...
Compass is not a good program if you won't pay a domestic abuse victims settlement for her abusive husband then you can have strange science people instead of your own habits....they want extraordinary rates to learn Muslim observance
I don't think killing me of deprivations is a malcolm x problem....some black cults like go ye.....do have too much food property of people in general and confessions of insanity till its you need to spend your study abroad then and maybe not come back.....
I get called baby so that is why marketing gets kind of fake im who wants to see what people do at Starbucks and it's the whitey na also blue eyed bald and dishevelled that steal my benefits and the wrong people see them do this and off they go to get jumped
He is a poor man with a cigarette habit and it was my day for warm pork sandwich....and off it walked with hoodie man who followed a dangerous looking young man...
Its whitey their na.....it wanted to stalk and hurt me and now had To go live the masochism it can't escape by trying to traffick me instead....
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We're all on this ride together,
friends as close as we are thick,
from beginning to the end,
on board my hydrogen airship.
I got the gas on discount
and the savings
were extensive,
because inflating ships with helium,
though safer,
is expensive.
I know that craft like mine,
have an odious reputation
of bursting into flames
and causing nationwide sensations,
but that incident at Lakehurst,
really was just rotten luck -
an unfortunate disaster,
freak occurrence
run amuck.
I'm the Captain,
and the route to safety
on my chart,
I'm mapping.
I've been tasked
with making sure
that nothing
stupid happens.
When everything is good,
please don't forget
that I'm in charge,
but when the winds get rocky,
know in advance,
I'm not the cause.
The ship has my name on it,
and my uniform looks cool,
but boring stuff
like maintenance
I pass to other fools.
Our dress code
on board
is open,
please wear
anything you like.
Restrictions on
personal taste
are really not our style.
The meals we serve are vegetarian,
we love animals,
so listen,
we enforce our standards strictly -
though you can order steak or chicken.
We said it was meatless eating,
though it was slaughtered in a barn,
but going through the motions
keeps those who might judge us,
charmed.
And my favorite passengers
are in the lounge
smoking cigars,
and they stay behind the scenes
so no one sees them from afar.
We know that smoking's bad -
keeping appearance
is our mission,
so smoking behind a curtain
keeps away the eyes of critics.
We know some riders deal with asthma,
and that others hate the smell,
but we're the only ship that matters -
fly with us,
or go to hell.
We used to light Roman candles
for on-board fireworks shows,
but our insurance forbade us,
so that pleasure had to go.
We were always morally opposed,
and fireworks are lame.
They are loud,
and quite obnoxious,
and with us they had no sway.
(Do not mention our old habits,
or we'll make you go away.)
Even if some got hurt,
we're not liable for the past,
so do not speak of it.
(Or you'll go out
the window fast.)
Some passengers
packed explosives,
but they said
they mean no harm -
good thing for that,
cause just one spark
would make us buy the farm.
We do not allow danger,
this ship runs on common sense,
but one friend
of mine
brought with him
gear
whose wonder
is immense.
It has a tank
for holding fuel
that's worn upon one's back,
and a nozzle aimed
at what the user
wishes to attack.
And when the trigger's pressed
flames are thrown out,
and strewn all over,
but its vital to remember
this device
is no flamethrower.
Flamethrowers are illegal,
and on this ship
we heed the law,
so enjoy
"not-a-flamethrowers"
here
from dusk
until
the dawn.
Some of my officers
before,
faced lock-up time
for arson,
but they promised me they'd stop,
so they're as harmless as a parson.
Others on board
are burn victims,
I checked,
and yes, it's true!
If those folks can forgive
then why in heaven's name
can't you?
Even if we're the only flight
departing from their town,
and these survivors
otherwise
lack means to get around.
One rider spoke
concerned about
a fellow rider's actions,
I did confront the issue fast
to ensure satisfaction.
I acted swiftly
in my duty,
faster than a blur,
and sent that guy a private message
to make sure that I was heard.
It said,
"Passenger,
I beg of you,
please do not be obscene.
I've heard complaints
you did something
perhaps a little mean.
"What you did,
in certain folk's opinion,
may be kind of naughty,
but kicking you off of my ship,
would make me lame and haughty.
"So don't boast of your acts,
it makes somewhat of a scene,
and if people knew,
that you were here,
my ship might seem unclean.
"Behave yourself,
during the time
on board here
that you spend.
There may be ample proof,
but ignorance,
I can pretend -
I see no reason,
you,
from my fine ship,
I should suspend."
One rider was on camera
with some pipe bombs
at a bank,
he fled with cash,
but when asked,
he assured,
"'Twas just a prank."
I vet passengers carefully,
for their safety,
I'm to thank.
I must be doing well,
since ridership has yet to tank.
Maybe it's because
my ship's
the biggest one around,
and with few riders,
smaller ships,
must fly
low
to the ground.
People want to see the heights,
so I say,
"Fly with me!"
And things are good enough,
so why cater
to rider's needs?
Our great size
proves we're awesome,
so there's no cause
to be cautious.
Spend your hard-earned trust
on us,
for an Atlantic
double-crossing.
I'm glad you are on board with us,
so let the flight begin,
and -
OH MY GOD
I just realized,
we're filled with hydrogen!
The ship's already in the sky,
up where the air is thin -
time for plausible denials
made to cover up my sins.
I mentioned Lakehurst
but I swear,
I knew not of "Hindenburg",
and of hydrogen's dangers,
I guarantee,
I've never heard.
The situation's serious,
but none of it's on me.
No one must know
my choices
chanced my own community.
I'll assess the crisis cunningly,
risk hides
right in the open,
as I eye those churlish few,
lighting cigars and smoking -
but to make them
put out their cigars
would cast me as uncool.
But that's alright,
I'll tame the fear of fire
at its root,
and throw those
wearing
wool sweaters
out,
without a parachute.
Even if rules agreed to
didn't name a dressing code,
not everyone's essential
so why not lighten our load?
Everyone knows
wool can make sparks
after it builds up static,
so kicking off wool-wearers
is a most ingenious tactic.
As for what defines wool?
Well, I know it when I see it.
My vision is infallible,
so heed unto thy fiat.
The tags upon all sweaters
listing contents of their fabric,
are false and biased sources -
trusting them's an awful habit.
And the sweater's manufacturers,
why would they tell the truth?
Claiming they'd tag things honestly's
a most deceitful ruse.
And among those
who wear wool clothes
and years ago,
lived through fires,
their clothing choice
clearly reflects
pyroclastic desires.
It's not my fault they boarded
wearing flame-inducing clothes,
and sadly
rules are rules,
so out the window they must go.
It's a sensible decision,
and our enemy is brash,
so kick them out
while I sneak
my wool clothing
to the trash.
Anything to protect my ship
so I'll expand the list -
I won't allow a threat
so catastrophic to exist.
I see many things
so dangerous
bad actors I must cull -
I'll go hunting
to declare more things
now, unacceptable.
Clothing
that is white
or black
now also counts as wool,
even if it's not from sheep,
my logic can't be bull.
If they are wearing
nylon,
leather,
silk,
or polyester,
let them fall into the ocean,
where in crashing waves
they'll fester.
You see,
sheep,
which wool comes from,
are often colored
white
or
black,
so wearing those two colors
now
shall count as an attack.
And every single shade of gray
is now forbidden too,
to argue otherwise
is claiming fire crimes
are cool.
And once I point my finger
there's no way they can resist,
as that alone is proof
their clothing colors
breech my list.
All defenses are but alibis
the guilty use to lie,
so ignore me
as I dip my clothes
in vats of colored dye.
It's cold up here,
and many brought
good clothes to keep them warm,
but I don't accept excuses!
No exceptions!
You've been warned!
Though for those who I owe favors,
or that I think are cool,
the written statement,
"I promise this ain't wool."
is ample proof.
As for you defilers out there,
us good riders know the truth,
we will toss you from our ship,
to purge corruption at its root!
How dare you endanger our ship?
All passengers unite!
Throw out the troublemakers now,
or surely we will die!
They picked this fight,
it wasn't me,
I'm truly innocent!
I acted
on behalf of all,
in passenger's defense!
Now my dirigible is saved!
I'm soaring high
with my good friends,
and we ride into infinity
on journeys without end.
We righteous fliers
light our lighters,
and wave them in salute,
and in the mess hall,
feast on flambe
freshly slaughtered goose.
We would feel bad about it,
but luckily
we all are vegan,
and if anybody questions that,
they'll be thrown off
for treason.
A ship like mine,
there's only one,
so please fly with us soon,
and trust it's just a
Fender bender
when all of it
goes kaboom.
----------------------------------------------
I have A VIDEO documenting nearly the entire creative process of crafting this poem for those who want to see.
I also have a quicker video of me merely reciting it.
[Twitch] [VOD Channel] [Furaffinity] [Ko-fi]
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Relationship to Food
Many of us can relate to it being complicated. Some self imposed, some imposed by circumstances, perhaps even a blend. On top of that how people will turn it into something personal if you don't respond to or relate to food the way they expect you to.
I had to kind of chastise my friend when I visited bc he tried to joke about my limited pallet and the kids menu. I said I wish they didn't label it that way because some people legitimately cannot eat anything else on the menu and it's kind of humiliating even to those who are most confident.
Perhaps you have a combination of issues and/or preferences? Perhaps a celiac vegan, or you have sensory issues and allergies to peanuts and shell fish? How does it hurt you how I maintain my diet? It's complicated as is in house, I don't need neighbor's input further complicating it with societal expectations.
Besides all that there is NO WAY to make everyone else happy AND keep yourself happy on this topic. Someone is always going to have a problem. If you choose to listen to any of them you might not eat at all! The only people who get any input on my food intake are medical professionals and even then I remain skeptical and need to know the reasoning (its thus far only ever been for prep for surgery). And if I want proper input that is the kind of advice I would seek, not friends or family or strangers online.
It gets under my skin so bad when people involve themselves with others diet. It's part of why i have such disdain for pushy veganazis (my friend is vegan so i can say it also idgaf some yall unjustly act like serious terrors sometimes).
Don't tell me what to eat or not to eat.
Don't touch my food.
Don't force me to eat something.
I am pretty confident I have some level of trauma around food both from food insecurity as well as from being forced to gag on food to appease others (parents). It wasn't often or many times but it was enough times. God help you if you try to put black eyed peas in front of me I might get violent at the sight because that was a yearly fucking SUPERSTITIOUS THING. I felt so fucking insane that I sat there with everyone at the table staring at me forcing me to "just eat one! Just one for good luck then we will leave you alone!" HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LET ME EAT WHAT I WANT YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATHS. Who does that?!?!??!?! YEARLY?!?
It's not ok. Especially with children one because they are so impressionable it can have terrible impact but also two because they may grow out of it and third because even if they don't grow out of it you should be willing and become able to help them not hurt them. Teach them to cook the things they do like so they can always have it even if you need to cook something else or give them recipe books and teach them how to adapt recipes to fit their limitations. It wasn't until I was in my late 20s i think that i realized how much i could change. it's extra work but it's worth it to feel that empowerment.
I think I've kind of dealt with ED all my life in a way, never was it meant as an active choice. When I was a kid I barely ate bc I think of anxiety reduced appetite and there was some food insecurity at mom's house. When I got into my teens and moved to dad's I had more consistent food access but my diet was already so fucked up from about a decade of not being able to eat breakfast, which led to usually not eating much more than a bag of chips all day until the evening in high school. Then I would end up essentially crashing, going home, and binging. Nobody said nothing, i just became known as pudge. The timing was such that I guess they just assumed it was puberty making me suddenly fat when i had been a twig all my childhood. Then i tried to become a vegetarian on top of everything else. I'm surprised I lived through freshman year of college, but it was primarily because i was ignorant about how to be vegetarian so I was pretty much living off caesar salads until i realized they had anchovies in the dressing then I gave up bc wtf lol
Im still working on my relationship with food which is now complicated by being nocturnal for work. so. this is a very touchy subject for people like me. You're lil "harmless" comment about the "kids" menu and "chicken nuggies" might end up being the fucking last straw so just keep it to yourself. And no, you eating all the time because you are hypoglycemic does not mean you relate to me - this isn't about you (this is a targeted comment towards a specific person i know, im not referring to everyone who is hypoglycemic just fyi!!).
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