#like we have had a lot of crazy shit happen the past couple of years but this might just take the cake forreal christ alive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

juyeonszn · 3 months

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PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (PT. 2)

PAIRING kevin moon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 5.60k

GENRES angst ﹒little bit of fluff ﹒little bit of smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader is better than me cause i would not let kevin do all the shit he’s done 😭, ANYWAY i digress, this part is very reader-centric — whereas part one is very kevin-centric, inner turmoil goes absolutely crazy, most of this fic is reader putting kevin in his place and him realizing how big of an asshole he truly is, mentions of injury (past tense), mentions of insecurity, lots of arguing, reader cries at one point or another, the smut places a very minimal role in this, but unprotected sex, public sex (the auditorium dressing room), no foreplay but wtv we fall like soldiers in battle, pussy job lowkey (high key…), creampie, lmk if i missed anything!

SUMMARY it wasn’t like you and kevin hated each other. in fact, you quite admired him despite his somewhat indifferent attitude toward you. well, now that you’re paired up for the last dance of the year, you guess it’s the perfect time to find out why.

MORE oh my god. it’s finally fucking here. A MONTH, 2 SICKNESSES AND MANY MANY STRESSFUL NIGHTS LATER— part two of princess and the pauper is here!!! i’m so sorry to those of u who have been itching and waiting on me to get ‘er done,,, it’s been an ordeal to say the least, and while it’s nearing the two month mark since the black out or back out collab was announced, SHE FINALLY FINISHED!!! for once i saw something through omg i can sleep peacefully and work on my other wips without guilt now… 😭 ALSO THANK U SO MUCH MAYA @/kimsohn FOR PUSHING ME THROUGH THIS and for making me thug it out bc without u it definitely would’ve taken much longer to finish 💔 please dont forget to read part one and the other fics in the series if u haven’t!! both are linked below! and as always, pls reblog if u enjoyed <3

PART ONE | SERIES MASTERLIST

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr @sunwooverse @kimsohn

TAGLIST @millksea @deobibbang @deobi0412

Never in your life have you felt so… Confused.

It wasn’t just confusion that settled deep in the pit of your stomach. There was a sharp pain there too, like someone stabbed you and twisted the knife. That was probably the best way to describe what you were feeling. You were bleeding out, and no one was coming to save you.

Kevin wasn’t answering your calls. He wasn’t answering your texts. He ran out of the lecture hall as soon as class was over, never giving you a moment to speak to him. It was making you nervous.

You still had half of a dance to choreograph and a fuck ton of pressure riding on your back. After the last performance you and him did together, you’d have a lot of eyes on you. It most definitely wasn’t your fault that he dropped you. How many people willingly want to acquire a broken ankle? The crutches were a bitch to maneuver around with. But like every single thing that’s happened in the three years you’ve known Kevin Moon, he’s managed to place the blame on you like it was.

It was crucial that you make amends with him even if it was momentarily. Your final grades were dependent on your performance. If he couldn’t get his shit together for at least that, he was a lost cause in your mind. Not even your professor would be able to refute that fact. Actually, nobody would be able to refute that fact.

Your lips form an O as you blow the steam away from your coffee, pulling out your phone to try Kevin’s phone once again. The line rings a few times before going straight to voicemail like it has the past couple weeks. You kiss your teeth, tying your sweater around your waist as you slump in your chair. The baristas at the campus cafe were probably sick of seeing you sitting in the same high-top counter spot since the incident with Kevin in the studio.

“Y/N?”

Ji Changmin appears beside you and you click your phone off, so he wouldn’t see his friend’s contact on the screen. You give the Early Childhood Dev major a weak smile.

“Changmin! What’s up? How are you and your girlfriend?” You hope he can’t recognize the distress written all over your features. You highly doubt it, though. You can feel the wrinkles pulling at your skin.

“We’re good! How’s the showcase performance going with Kev?” He asks like he knows something you don’t. When your lips fall to a thin line, an all too familiar grimace, he sighs a knowing sigh. “Do I have to smack some sense into him?”

“Not gonna lie, yeah, you do. He’s being really fucking difficult and like half of our dance is unfinished. I can’t even get a hold of him, so I’m starting to lose my patience.” You express your annoyance. The border between complacency and free-will was a lot slimmer than one might think. For example; your feelings when it comes to Kevin Moon.

You don’t expect to get a returning call later that night when you’re washing dishes after dinner.

In fact, you don’t even hear it at first, too absorbed in scrubbing the staining out of your bowl. It’s when your roommate yells out to you, that you snap out of your reverie, albeit dazedly. You dry your hands on a nearby tea towel, hitting the green answer button without a second glance at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Your heart catches in your throat. You recognize the owner of the voice practically by the first breath into the receiver alone. It’s actually kind of unhealthy how quickly it took to realize who was on the other end. You swallow heavily, praying he doesn’t hear the gulp.

“In the latter part of the afternoon, I believe. Why?” You try not to sound hopeful. That’s one thing you’ve learned being in the same vicinity as Kevin Moon. You could never be too expecting, because it would only lead to disappointment. And you’d dealt with enough of that the past few years.

“We need to finish this fuck ass choreography,” he grunts, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue. “I’ll meet you in the same studio at 4.”

He doesn’t let you get anything else in, hanging up swiftly. You deflate as you set your phone back on the counter. All you had to do was push through these next couple weeks, like you always have when it came to him.

That should be a piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

“No, that looks stupid.”

You grit your teeth, swiping the back of your hand on your forehead. You’d been inside of this studio maybe 30 minutes tops, and you were on the verge of strangling Kevin. With as long as you’d been putting up with his shit, you thought getting through this wouldn’t be as rough as it’s been. But if there was one thing Kevin Moon had, it was pride.

“We don’t have time for you to nitpick right now. Let’s just finish the choreography and clean it after.” Your hands rest on your hips, nostrils flaring.

“If we clean as we go, we’ll have more time to drill it into our systems and get down muscle memory. It’ll be a stronger performance.” He argues. You roll your eyes as you turn away from him, taking a water break to calm yourself. “Why do you have so much fucking attitude today? You were the one preaching to the choir about me making things difficult. It seems the tables have turned.”

Usually, you were pretty good at keeping your frustration at bay when it came to Kevin’s remarks. You liked to think it was because you were down bad for the guy, despite him always wanting nothing to do with you. But as of late, (Read: Since your performance of Princess and the Pauper) every little comment he’s made has managed to crawl under your skin like a damn parasite. You were beginning to get real sick of it.

“God, you’re so—“ You interrupt yourself to groan, fingers curling into fists. “You’re fucking insufferable. Do you know that? I’ve been bending over backwards to ensure we aren’t kicked out of the goddamn program and you don’t even fucking care. Over what? A kiss that you initiated?”

Kevin is stunned into silence, not at all prepared for you to blow up on him like that. After all, that razor thin line between complacency and free-will had yet to be crossed. And well, it appears that you just crossed it. You whip around toward him, pulling down the collar of your t-shirt to reveal the faintest of bruises that still remains from your impromptu act of intimacy.

“I’ve had to look at this every day for a week and all it’s done is make me feel shitty, ashamed of something I didn’t even start. Now I need you to stop acting like an ass and get it together so we can finish this and perform the best dance this university has ever seen.” Your chest is heaving up and down, similarly to when you made out against the mirrors last week. Except this time isn’t out of breathlessness, but rather anger and exhaustion.

Kevin’s eyes don’t leave the hickey on the base of your throat, something undetectable swimming in them as he stares. You can’t read the emotions swirling rampantly in his irises, a mixture of too many blurring into one another. Honestly, it’s funny. It’s funny that it’s taken you this long to get him to shut his mouth for once.

So you laugh.

It’s a snort at first, an off handed projection of how comical the situation has become to you. But then it metamorphoses into a small giggle, which leads to full scale laughter that has you hunching over your knees and wiping away tears. This whole thing is stupid. Absolutely fucking stupid.

“What are you laughing at?” His eyebrow raises in question, broken from his weird trance.

“I just can’t believe it took three years for me to shut you up,” you shake your head slowly, rubbing your eye with the heel of your palm. “You’re always the one who can’t stop talking.”

Kevin deadpans, mouth pulled pin-straight as his expression drops. “You’re so unserious.”

As the height of your laughter reaches a valley, you collapse onto the ground, resting your back against the mirror. You take another long sip of water before sighing. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal. Trust me, I know. But, we’ve gotta set aside our differences just this once. Please, for the sake of the department.”

“Fine,” he murmurs, plopping down beside you to stretch his back. “Let’s finish choreographing so we can start cleaning it up.”

It’s a victory in your book, and probably the most obedient the Pisces has ever been. Maybe this wouldn’t end in complete disaster like you assumed it would. It turns out Kevin Moon wasn’t entirely brainless and knew when he was wrong. Sometimes. Maybe. We’ll see.

You shut your eyes and visualize what you’ve choreographed so far, going over the moves in your head to see if the rest will come to you like a prophecy. It’s wishful thinking, but with how much you’ve accomplished since setting foot in the studio, you’re willing to try anything. The track would be nice for elements of hip hop style choreography, but you knew the audience wouldn’t eat it up as much as they would the route you’re currently taking.

Driver roll up the partition, please…

The song plays through the speakers and you watch as Kevin stands to run through everything you have. You’re entranced by his movements, the flow of his body on certain points. It’ll look ten times better once you’re doing it with him, costumed and performing it perfectly in front of a crowd. You can picture it now, the gentle but controlled glide of his hands along your arms when Beyoncé sings “We ain’t even gonna make it to this club”. He was right. You very well might be seduced by your enemy.

“Should we use props?” You suddenly voice, eyes narrowed in thought. He hums.

“That’s… not a half-bad idea, actually,” his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

“A chair, maybe,” you look away from him, placing your focus on the way your toes alternate between a tendu and relaxed position. “That could take up a good chunk of the choreo.”

Kevin stalks over to the supply closet in the corner of the studio, pulling out a folding chair. He puts it in the center of the room gently, careful to not scratch up the wooden, lacquered flooring. You spend the next couple of hours brainstorming through numerous versions of the dance. While it was a lot easier than your past practices, there were still the occasional argument over which movements looked good and whatnot.

At a certain point, everything becomes cohesive and the end is near. You gulp down some water as Kevin does some random choreography. It’s then that it comes to you, like a vision from That’s So Raven. You practically drop your water bottle, scrambling to your feet and stopping him. Your breath is heavy from fatigue and you’re slightly afraid of even suggesting this, but it’s exactly what this dance needs. It’s exactly what everyone wants to see from the two of you.

He pauses the music and gestures for you to get on with it. You push down the lump in your throat, scared of rejection. But maybe he was smart and he would agree that this is what you have to do. “What if we did a lift?”

You see the hesitation swirling in his eyes and you raise a finger before he can shut you down entirely. “Nothing crazy like… um— you know— Princess and the Pauper, but something smaller. Something… sexy? Like, Dancing with the Stars type beat.”

When he shrugs instead of outright dismissing your idea, you know you’ve won. He nods slowly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Okay, sure. But we better clean up everything else fast so we can perfect the lift.”

The two of you take another three hours running the entirety of the choreography, ingraining the moves into your brains and muscles. You still had a bit until the actual showcase, but your priority now lies with the lift. If you nailed it, the entire department would very well grovel after you in reparation for all of the slack you got after Kevin dropped you. Hell, the entire university would kiss your feet. This was your redemption. In more ways than one.

You both decide to call it a day at around 9:30 PM. Your hands reach for your belongings and then you halt yourself, a thought coming to mind. While you had him in this weird state of obedience, you figured it was as good a time as any to ask the question that’s been weighing on you for the past few years. Your fingers swipe away the sweat beading around your hairline.

”Kevin,” you start, voice a lot softer than before. “Why do you— what did I do to make you dislike me so much?”

He’s caught completely off guard, eyes widening in surprise. If he was anticipating you to say anything else prior to parting ways tonight, he didn’t think this would be it. He’s actually a little off put that you hadn’t asked him this already in the span of your definitely-one-sided rivalry. He takes a large gulp of water.

”I’d call it indifference, not dislike,” he corrects after a pregnant silence. “It’s really fucking stupid thinking about it in hindsight. I don’t know if you remember this time, way back in our first year, we ran into each other at the campus cafe— literally, might I add— and you spilled your coffee all over this white shirt of mine that Changmin had gotten for me as a birthday gift. I only recently found out that it wasn’t as expensive as he made it out to be.”

You blink at his admission, processing his words as thoroughly as possible. You don’t know what you wanted him to say. You weren’t even sure if there was a concrete reason for him to be so fucking mean to you all this time. And now that you know, you come to the conclusion that Kevin Moon isn’t as smart as you’ve painted him out to be in your head. He’s actually a gigantic idiot. Because who in their right mind goes through these lengths to form a distance between the only other person on par with their talent?

Before you can stop yourself, you’re bursting into another fit of laughter. Kevin falters at your reaction. He was waiting for you to blow up on him, to scream in his face for causing you so much pain and unnecessary drama over something so silly. So when you do none of that, when you start fucking laughing like a damn hyena, he feels dumb. Like his entire college career has been built off of nothing.

”This is so—“ you pause to gather your bearings, wiping away the tears that managed to escape. “We’ve spent so much time going back and forth over some spilled coffee? Surely you’ve realized how insane that is at some point.”

”It took a lengthy argument with Changmin, but yeah, I did,” he nods, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

You worry your lower lip between your teeth, finally getting your things together. The two of you bid each other an awkward goodbye. Neither of you knew what to make of your relationship now that things had been partially sorted through. There was a fuck ton of baggage that still had to be sifted, but at least you had an answer.

That was enough to push through this showcase performance. You think.

You’re nervous.

Never in your entire life have you ever been this nervous for a performance.

You grew up doing musical theatre and dancing, it’s always been the one constant presence you could rely on. But standing here, backstage at the showcase, you think you’re going to throw up. Your palms are clamming up uncontrollably and your chest feels unbearably heavy as you watch the quartet doing a contemporary piece to some ballad you couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. There were still a couple groups before you.

Not even when you had to perform fuckass Princess and the Pauper were you this anxious. You wince, trying to stop the incessant bouncing of your leg. Your weight keeps shifting from one hip to the other. As a seasoned veteran, you don’t know why you feel this way. Maybe it had to do with all the pressure riding on this very dance. Every single eye in that crowd was going to scrutinize your every move on that stage.

“Calm down,” a voice whispers harshly from beside you. “You’re making me nervous.”

Kevin wraps his fingers around your wrist, stopping the annoying tap-tap-tap your own were doing against your thigh. He gives you a look, and you sigh. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

That’s a lie. Not only was the high expectations from the entire school getting to you, but so was the fear of history repeating itself. He knows this, it was inevitable. After what happened the last time he was tasked with lifting you, it was only natural.

”We’ve drilled this dance hundreds, if not thousands, of times, Y/N. We’ll do just fine.” Kevin assures you.

His hand feels foreign holding yours, like it was illegal for his skin to be touching your own. You feel your lower lip quiver, a sense of trepidation that you’ve never once felt creeping down your spine. Your mind was spiraling, and quite honestly, Kevin being so close was making it worse. All you could think about was him dropping you again, leaving you in the middle of the stage with a broken leg and a broken heart. You release a shaky breath and he turns to face you.

Your eyes widen and he searches your face for any disingenuity. When he finds his answer, he brings the hand that was holding yours up to cup your cheek. He’s cautious, afraid he might break you like he always does. He waits for you to shove him away and to yell at him for being a fucking coward.

You don’t. You stay still, hoping he follows through with what you think he’s about to do. And then he does.

It’s such a featherlight peck of his lips on your own, you almost don’t even register. But sparks shoot from the source all the way to the tips of your fingers. You feel as if you were dealt a static shock of electricity, your whole body buzzing from the small kiss alone.

He pulls away just in time for the stage manager to inform you that you’re next. Kevin rolls his neck jogging over to the wings to patiently await your performance like he hadn’t just kissed you a moment ago. You blink dumbly, two fingers coming up to touch where his lips had been. Sure the nerves were gone now, but the sensation of butterflies swarming about in your stomach easily replaced that. What the fuck was his problem?

“Our last performance is one I’m sure all of you have been waiting for. Kevin Moon and Y/N L/N with Partition!”

Before you know it, you and Kevin are in position, your body squared upstage and his to the crowd. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his arm wrapped around your waist and his steady breathing on your nose. The spotlight switches on, the heat of the lighting warm against the side of your face. It’s silent in the auditorium, but it rings in your ears. You could do this.

Let me hear you say ‘Hey Miss Carter’…

You move on reflex, muscle memory kicking in instantaneously. Each circle of your hips, every turn you make— a fouetté here, a pirouette there, a couple coupes, each roll of your body. But what really gets you is the long brushes of Kevin’s skin on your own. You’d practiced with distance between the two of you. There was a tension that had been there for years. Now it’s all coming to a rolling boil, a new uncharted tension that every single member in that audience could see.

And then comes the lift.

You, along with everybody in the auditorium, practically hold your breath when Kevin’s hands grip your hips. He raises you above him with all of his strength, completely focused on you and only you. You shut your eyes and feel the moment, like, really feel it. Your body is relaxed, the Dirty Dancing-esque lift bringing the whole performance together just like you knew it would. The only difference from the movie and real life is the fact that you’re flipped, your backside to Kevin and your chest to the ceiling.

Your eyes flutter open, the spotlight all but blinding you, and you finally feel content. Like everything has fallen into the right place for once in your life. Especially so when Kevin sets you down gently and you finish your dance with the utmost confidence.

The crowd erupts into a roaring chorus of applause, going as far as giving you a standing ovation. Holy shit. You pulled it off. You actually managed to pull it off.

Your face feels like it might split from how big your smile is. You and Kevin bow, walking off stage. You’re entirely too happy right now, a newfound energy overtaking you as you trail behind him.

“We did it!” You cheer as you follow him towards the dressing room where your things are. You’re the only ones left backstage, everyone else filtering out between performances. Kevin doesn’t give you much of a response, just a small nod of acknowledgment. Your smile falters. “What the hell is your problem?”

”Nothing, Y/N, fuck. Can you just mind your own fucking business?” He snaps, turning around to glare at you just as the door slams behind you. You instinctively flinch at both loud noises. His features soften but you take a step back from him.

You aren’t sure why you’re surprised. This isn’t anything new. Kevin has always made it crystal clear that he wasn’t your number one fan. Being neutral for your performance wasn’t enough to repair all the holes in whatever your relationship was, and you should’ve known better. You shouldn’t have let your guard down so easily. You should’ve expected this. Old dogs can never learn new tricks.

But Kevin’s scared. He’s afraid of letting you in after all the mess he’s put you through. The only thing he’s good at doing is hurting you, over and over like there was a prize that came out of it.

”Look…”

”No, you listen to me,” you swallow heavily, tears already tight lining your eyes. “Kevin, I have taken so much shit from you. Over these past few years I have just sat there and let you unload all your fucked up insecurities onto me. Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever thought to stop and think about why I let you be so mean to me without even questioning it?”

He says nothing, just stares with his lips parted. They open and close like a fish out of water, words there at the tip of his tongue but refusing to make their escape. And then one of your tears rolls down your cheeks and he’s directly in front you, his heart on his sleeve for the first time since you’ve met him.

”Why?” The simple question is so quiet, you almost don’t hear him. But his eyes hold so much hurt, so much anguish that you’ve never seen in a person before.

“I’ve had feelings for you for so long, it’s actually starting to ache. You’ve only ever seen me as this thing, this obstacle. And I’m afraid that that’s all I’ll ever be to you, because you won’t let me be anything else. You won’t—“

”That’s not true, Y/N,” Kevin sighs, looking off to the side, away from you. “I just— it’s complicated. It’s more than just being rivals.”

”So help me understand,” you frown. “Let me in, please.”

”My entire life I’ve had to work to get to where I am. I’ve fought tooth and nail to be as good of a performer as I am today. There were so many hoops I had to go through to even get into this program and— and I thought I’d finally become the best I could be. I thought that there was no way anyone could ever be better than me. And then you showed up. You and your pretty smile and your natural ability to be the best at everything you do. It was like you were the real life manifestation of all of my critics, of every challenge I faced to get here. Where I had to practice day and night to perfect something, it just came to you like second nature. During Princess and the Pauper, when I dropped you, it truly was an accident. But we’d spent so much time nailing it, that it— I just made myself feel better by saying it was your fault. ‘How could it have been my fault if I perfected it?’ I was jealous and petty and it was just easier to blame hating— to blame my indifference on you spilling coffee on my stupid shirt. For that, I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what you were waiting to hear, but it wasn’t that. Your tears turn into full on blubbering, because what the fuck? That’s so much burden for someone to carry on their shoulders for three years.

“Why are you— why are you crying?” He flounders, reaching up to swipe away your tears.

“I wish I knew… I wish I could’ve helped you somehow,” you sniffle. “Kev, I’ve always admired you and your work ethic. I hoped one day I’d be half as disciplined as you, half as determined.”

He blinks. You’re both dumb, aren’t you? Too focused on the wrong things. You both could’ve been a lot less hateful, a lot less miserable, had you just spoken your differences out. This entire rivalry has been completely one sided, but also built off of plain stupidity and ignorance. He supposes it’s not too late to make amends if you aren’t running in the opposite direction despite everything he’s put you through.

Kevin leans forward, hand still pressed to your cheek, and connects your lips softly. He’s testing the waters, making sure you’re comfortable before he continues anything. When you don’t back away just yet, he adds more force, deepening the kiss like a man starved. You whine against his lips.

This is what you’ve been wanting from him. More than what he gave you before your performance, but not what happened in the studio a few weeks ago. This desperation isn’t abashed lust, it’s unbridled affection— it’s everything he’s holed inside of himself for years, unwilling to let it see the light of day until now. If you were to label anything as perfection, it wouldn’t be a dance or a moment on stage, it would be this. Just you and Kevin finally bringing yourselves together in the most intimately emotional union.

He pulls you closer to him, hands sliding down to grasp at your waist, bunching up the thin fabric of your leotard. You can’t help but bury your fingers in his hair, tugging when he nips at your lower lip. A gasp permeates the air when his mouth travels south, along your jaw and down the side of your neck. He bites and sucks the tender skin at the base of your throat, ensuring he leaves his mark on you. This time isn’t careless, this time he has purpose. He wants everybody to know that you’re his, that you’re the only person insane enough to put up with him.

Your breathing is shaky when you reach behind you to lock the dressing room, dragging him over to the long vanity adjacent to you. He slots between your legs when you hoist yourself onto the surface. He pecks your lips and pauses his movements, rubbing up and down your thighs. In the dim, yellow lighting of the room, you look so gorgeous. He’s always thought you were beautiful, the most stunning thing he’s ever laid his eyes on, but he’s repressed it for so long. He wants to take his time staring at what he’s avoided.

”You’re so pretty,” he says quietly, kissing you again and again and again. “I don’t think I can last long with you.”

“Can we skip the foreplay?” You ask, bottom lip jutted into a pout. “Need you to just fuck me like you mean it.”

Kevin’s forehead falls to your shoulder with a groan. “I don’t deserve you,” God, he’s such an idiot for holding out from this. You should’ve been given the world and so much more. He has a lot of lost time to make up for. He kisses your shoulder with a sigh. “Yeah, baby, I can do that.”

You don’t waste another second, slipping your arms through the sleeves of your leotard. He has to bite down on his tongue when he sees that you’re braless, fingers going slack as they unbutton the rest of his silk shirt. You shimmy out of the one piece, left in nothing but the fishnet stockings you wore underneath and your lacy panties. Kevin thinks he must’ve done at least something right in a past life to experience this.

Your eyes sparkle as you look up at him, undoing his slacks and kicking them down his legs with your feet. Something takes over him when he rips a bigger hole in your stockings, pushing your underwear to the side. His thumb glides through your folds with ease, your slick providing enough lubricant. He pushes your lower lips apart while you busy yourself shoving his underwear to his ankles.

His cock slips inside of you with less friction than he would’ve thought, but he doesn’t complain, screwing his eyes shut as he acclimates to the feeling of your walls surrounding him. You moan, such a soft sound that he nearly loses his balance.

“You feel so good, baby,” he coos, digging his fingers into your hips as he rocks his own. “You’re so so perfect.”

The praise is too much for you, given the circumstances. Your brain is already cloudy, stuffed with what could only be described as cotton. You watch with half lidded eyes as he begins to piston into you at a faster speed. This all feels like a fever dream, something that was only possible in your craziest fantasies. Even then, it seemed unlikely.

“‘M close, Kev,” you whine, unable to stay still and attempting to match his thrusts.

“Already? We’ve only just started, gorgeous.” He laughs, but it’s breathy, strained from the exertion of his body. You hardly have the strength in you to be embarrassed about it, especially since he’s seen you in much worse situations.

You nod frantically, snaking a hand between you to circle your clit with nimble fingers. Kevin halts you and pulls out momentarily, sliding his cock between your folds like it was your hand. The tip catches your sensitive bundle of nerves repeatedly, making you dizzier than you already were.

He presses back into you with ease, resuming his sloppy but animalistic pace. He uses his thumb to continue your handywork, your cunt fluttering around him needily. You’re both losing your sanity quickly, both going batshit insane over the bare minimum. You’ve just needed this for so long, yearned for this moment for a humiliating amount of time.

Your moans start to rise in pitch and he groans. “Fuck, baby, you can cum for me.”

He could cry, he thinks, when your back arches and your legs shake with your orgasm. It hits you like a freight train, triggering his own release just as fast.

You stay like that for a bit, regaining yourselves and comprehending everything that’s just happened. So much for the whole hating each other narrative.

“What does this mean for us?” You suddenly ask, arms hooked around Kevin’s neck. You’re still connected by your lower halves, but he makes no effort to pull away. Part of you likes it that way, it gives you hope that this isn’t a one time affair.

“It’ll be hard for things to change overnight,” he says, massaging your sides. “We have a lot of unresolved issues and insecurities that we still have to push past. But I’m willing to do that with you. I want to take a chance on us.”

Your lips pull into a smile, an expression you don’t think you’ve worn around him genuinely in the years you’ve known him. “I do, too.”

“It’s kind of ironic that it was a performance that tore us apart and brought us back together, don’t you think?” He laughs.

“And we fucked in the dressing room…” You add, glancing to the top corner where a security camera is stationed.

“Maybe we should get out of here before someone checks the footage,” he suggests. “Tau Beta Zeta is conveniently hosting our end of semester party tonight, do you wanna be my plus one?”

“I would be honored.” You grin, pecking his lips tenderly.

Perhaps happy endings existed after all.

#deoboyznet #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz kevin #tbz kevin #kevin moon x reader #kevin moon smut #kevin x reader #kevin smut #moon hyungseo #blackoutorbackout🍻#juyeonszn

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theitgirlnetwork · 5 months

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Ch. 11: Three Months But It Feels Like Forever

Note: Hello! Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it and just a warm hope you had a good day to those who don't. Another chapter written in the middle of the night, so...you know. Still I hope you enjoy it. Unfortunately our fave couple still has troubles ahead, but there's a fun, a little (a lot) crazy surprise at the end. As always, thank you for all of the love on this story, I'm really grateful for it. It really inspires me and makes this stuff even easier to share. You're all great. I love interacting so feel free to continue. Also this is short but the next one will be longer bc it's something big. Also again, this taglist situation is probably my bad so I'm gonna sort it out, try again next chapter, and then y'all can tell me if it worked, bc atp I'm embarrassing myself. Thanks and I hope you enjoy. <3

Charlotte's Work Party Look

Lip's Work Party Look

“So this is bullshit. He dumps her for one basketball game?”

“That’s not what happened, he was having an inner conflict, and he was only sixteen.”

“Sixteen year old piece of shit.”

Charlotte huffs, continuing to run her fingers through his blond curls. Lip is laid across the couch, his head in Charlotte’s lap, hand underneath her thigh. Debbie is sitting on the floor in front of the television and Troy Bolton had just told his friends he didn’t give a shit about Gabriella.

“He’s just choosing basketball and his friends.” Debbie protests, breaking free from her basketball boy trance to argue with her brother.

“Basketball and his friends can’t get his dick wet-ow! Charlotte.” he winces, rubbing the spot on his scalp where his girlfriend had decided to bury her hand and tug. “Damn it, I was just sayin’ he’s got like one game left in the season, why does he need to break up with her to play? And that shit she just wrote on the board is wrong-why the hell are we watchin’ this shit?”

“You just don’t get it.” Debbie huffs, pausing the movie. She pushes off of the floor and grabs the popcorn from the coffee table. “Let’s watch try again when he’s not here.”

“Oh excuse me.” Lip rolls his eyes as his sister storms off, running up the steps. When he looks back up at his girlfriend, her cheek is dimpling with her deep frown. “What?”

“You ruined movie night” she fake pouts, rubbing her hand along his chest.

Lip smirks, before indulging her, sitting up and tilting her chin with his finger. “Aw, did I?” he kisses her cheek, “I don’t think I did.” her jaw, “We could go in my room and make our own movie.”

“Yeah?” Charlotte hums, meeting his lips briefly with her own before pulling back. “Can’t. I have work.”

“Stay here,” he murmurs, pulling her back to him. “You can dance for me.”

Giggling, Charlotte lets herself be pulled back in, exchanging kisses with the blond until his phone buzzes on the couch next to him, a dreaded name lighting up on the screen. She pulls back fully this time, standing to go get dressed. “Your professor is texting you. At 8:36 at night.”

Blue eyes watch Charlotte disappear up the staircase before closing tiredly. Lip had been dodging almost all of Helene’s communications. He would read her texts to make sure they had nothing to do with his job, and only responded when they did. He’d hoped that was enough, but everytime Charlotte saw that name pop up on his phone she would retract from him. Leave the room, pick up Liam, interact with anyone but him. One morning she asked again, if she had a thing for him, or if they’d hooked up in the past. No matter how much he wanted to, Lip just couldn’t bring himself to answer her with a yes.

“Fuck,” he breathes to himself, before running up the stairs after her. He pushes the door to his bedroom open. “Charlotte-” he pauses, staring at her, taking in her form. She stands in her work outfit, if you could call it that, the only thing offering an ounce of covering is the one leg of a juicy tracksuit she was putting on over it. “Um, what the fuck?”

She turns, meeting him with confusion, giving him a glimpse of the front which only has him letting out a laugh of disbelief. “What?”

“What? You’re gonna wear that to work?”

“Oh,” she shrugs, putting her leg through the other hole and pulling the pants up. “Yeah.” she chirps, reaching past him to grab the matching jacket, zipping it over the small bikini top she has on.

“The only thing that shit covers is your nipples.” Lip says, scratching his head.

“S’a stripclub, Phillip. They’re supposed to see stuff.” she giggles. Her laughter stops when she sees his stoic face. Charlotte makes her way over to him, cupping his cheek, “Hey, you said you were good with this. You’re not?”

Lip looks away from her for a second, shifting on his feet. He’s too embarrassed to admit to her that he thinks he agreed to this whole stripper situation too soon. He’d never been a jealous guy, so he didn’t think it was a problem, but he supposes that jealousy is a new feeling that Charlotte had brought into his life. “No, baby I am, just…shit.”

“What shit. Like shit? Or shit.”

Lip closes the distance between them, waiting for her to meet him in a peck, patting her ass when she does. “Watch your mouth.” he mumbles against her lips.

Big brown eyes just stare up into his blue ones. “M’workin’ for us, remember?” She whispers, wrapping her arms around his neck and rubbing his hair at the nape. “Besides, why would I look at the losers that hang out at the club, lookin’ at me all night when I could come work and be with my sexy boyfriend?”

“Good point.”

“Yeah?” she laughs, letting him pull her into a bunch of small pecks, between matching smiles. The couple starts to get lost in each other again, only breaking away at the sound of Lip’s phone going off again. Charlotte pulls back with a blank look on her face. “Your other girlfriend is trying to reach you.”

Lip rolls his eyes and sighs as she slips past him again, running down the stairs. “Bunny-”

“Just take me to work, Gallagher.”

“You do privates, honey?” A drunken man slurs, leering at Charlotte, waving a hundred dollar bill in front of her face. He’s with a group of older men who’d been tipping shittily and buying the cheapest drinks since they’d gotten there.

“No, sir I don’t, but the ladies that do are on the other side of the club…and they charge more than that.”

The man’s lip curls as he stands, scowling at the woman. Charlotte subtly takes a step back, glancing over at security, ready to call them if he got aggressive.

“Hold on, wait a minute, Trent. That’s my daughter in law you’re talkin’ to.” a voice rasps.

“Frank?”

The scraggly man emerges from the crowd of older men on the couch, positioning himself between Charlotte and the other man. “The one and only.” His gaze drops briefly. “Nice outfit.”

Charlotte wraps her arms over her chest and frowns at the man. “What’re you doing here, Frank?” She looks at the group behind him. “Are you in trouble?”

“Trouble? I’m enjoying the ambience! You and your lovely naked friends are a sight to behold-”

“Oh, God, Frank!” Charlotte gasps, covering her mouth to hide her disgust.

“What? You have a beautiful form!”

“I’m calling Phillip.” she huffs, turning to go to the locker room, she pauses as a thought passes through her mind. Twirling back around she makes her way back over. “Frank, what are you paying with?”

“Oh,” the older man produces a sock full of cash from his pocket. It’s familiar to Charlotte. Ever since Frank and Monica located the first squirrel fund, Fiona had started keeping the money in a new place. In the dry rotted hole on the floor between the wall and the dryer. Inside of the sock that Frank was currently dangling in Charlotte’s face. “I came into some money.”

“Hey, that’s-” Charlotte tries to grab it, only for Frank to yank it away at each attempt. “For the house! For bills, for Carl’s field trip this month-”

“That’s my house that you’re shacking up in fyi. This is Gallagher money, and therefore it’s mine to spend. Now point me in the direction of the ladies giving private dances. I’m a private man.”

“Frank, I can’t let you spend that-” Charlotte argues, grabbing one end of the sock and pulling. Frank is tugging at the other until he stumbles into a table, causing a couple glasses to fall and shatter, leaving Charlotte with the sock. Charlotte stands over the man angry, disgusted, and feeling a wave of hate she’s never really felt for anyone. Up until this point, she really didn’t consider Frank beyond the far and few in between memories Lip shared. But now she was seeing the man be shitty live and in person. And she was fed up. “It’s for your fucking kids you deadbeat!”

Two seconds later security is grabbing Frank and the manager on staff that night, Sarah, is pulling Charlotte a couple steps away. She can distantly hear Lip’s father yelling and cursing as he’s dragged from the club. “Lottie, what happened?”

“I…Frank is my boyfriend’s father, and he’s trying to spend their house money, and he was being a dick about it-”

“Okay, okay. Well, Frank knows he’s not really supposed to be in here anyway, so it won’t happen again. The new guy at the door must have let him slip through. But, because a personal altercation occurred out on the floor, I have to send you home, babe.”

“Damn, really?” Charlotte whines, looking at the crowd starting to pour into the club, no doubt big spenders. She could practically see the dollar signs fading away. Sara offers her a sympathetic look, shrugging. “Fine, okay, let me call my boyfriend to pick me up.”

Lip had been dead asleep when Charlotte let him know she needed to be picked up from work. He has work tomorrow and so in an attempt to get some real sleep, he was in their room at V and Kev’s house, taking advantage of the quiet. He’d rushed over to get her, grabbing Kev’s car keys without asking and noting to himself that a car should probably be the first thing on their list to purchase with the Bunny Bank. When he pulled up out front she was already waiting there for him, the big burly security man, John waiting beside her to walk her to the car.

He and Lip exchange nods as Charlotte climbs into the car pouting. “What happened?” Lip immediately questions, barely letting the door closed. “Someone was fuckin’ with you?”

Charlotte huffs, buckling her seatbelt, allowing him to turn the light on and try to check her for any bruises or injuries. “No…kinda, just- your dad showed up.”

“Fuckin’ Frank.”

“Yeah, right, and he had all of your house money, and I tried to get it back, and he wouldn’t give it back, and we fought and I told him he was a piece of shit deadbeat.”

Lip frowns at that. He hates this part of having a girlfriend. It’s fucking humiliating. He doesn’t know how Fiona lets a bunch of different guys get involved with their family shit. Finding Frank drunk in the yard, Monica coming and spewing her bullshit, now Frank was showing up at Charlotte’s job. And she was fighting with him over money he’d stolen from his children. It’s fucking embarrassing. “Yeah, well, that’s Frank, don’t worry about that shit okay?”

“Well he was stealing from-”

“Fiona and I handle it, it’s not your problem, alright?” Lip says, muscle in his jaw jumping in irritation.

From the corner of his eye he can see Charlotte stare at him with a hurt expression for a moment, before sitting back in the passenger seat, facing forward. “Okay.” she drops the sock full of money on his lap.

The rest of the ride is quiet, Lip drives her through dingy streets, in a borrowed car and wallows in shame. Charlotte is leaning as far into the door as possible, far from him. When they pull up to their neighborhood she hops out of the car before Lip can open the door, going over to Kev and V’s house. Lip follows a couple paces behind quietly, assuming the fact that she’d left the door unlocked was a sign she still wanted him to come with her.

As he enters the room he finds Charlotte already in her pajamas, curled up on the bed facing the wall. Small movements let him know she’s crying. The blond quietly slips behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and resting his face against hers, pressing soft quiet kisses against her cheek. “M’sorry, baby.”

She just offers a sniffle in response.

Lip sighs loudly, dropping his head to the desk. His eyes fucking burn. He got little to no sleep after he’d basically told Charlotte off and made her cry, and she was quiet as hell this morning. He was such a screw up. “Fuck” he curses, grabbing a cigarette and his lighter from his bag, leaning back in his desk chair as he sparks it.

“Gallagher! You have a visitor!” Eric calls from the hallway. Immediately, Lip’s mind goes to Charlotte. Maybe she was feeling better and didn’t fucking hate him for telling her off for caring about him.

“Let her in!”

The door creaks open revealing Helene with a condescending smile plastered on her face. “You’re a hard man to hunt down, Phillip Gallagher.”

He just sighs, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air. “M’busy.”

“With what? Work or your girlfriend?” Helene sits in the chair across from Lip, crossing her legs, rolling her eyes when he doesn’t bother answering, taking another drag. “I’m kidding. But you have been ignoring my calls.”

“Well, you’re here now. What’d you wanna talk about?”

A muffled voice that could only be Eric’s is heard through the door. “His office is this way. You look great by the way.” The door to Lip’s office pushes open again, and who enters this time has him shooting out of his seat. “Gallagher, your girlfriend’s here.” Eric grins, tucking his hands into his pockets as Charlotte slowly makes her way in, eyes flicking between Lip and Helene.

“Fucking shit, okay-” Lip mumbles under his breath, holding his arm out for Charlotte to come to him. He watches as she rolls her shoulders back, standing straight and walking behind Lip’s desk, leaning into him. “Hel-Helene, this is my girlfriend Charlotte, Charlotte, this is my old Professor Helene.”

“Nice to meet you, young lady.” Helene says, holding her hand out.

Charlotte takes a deep breath before setting down the bag she was carrying in her hand, reaching over and taking Helene’s hand. “Nice to meet you too, Mrs.-”

“Miss.”

“Ms. Helene.” Charlotte finishes, a tight smile on her face.

The blonde woman laughs, tossing her head back. “Just Helene is fine.”

“Mm well, I dunno. Doesn’t seem right.” Charlotte shrugs, leaning further into Lip. “Thank you, by the way, for helping him get this job, it’s been wonderful.”

“You’re welcome. It was no problem at all, Phillip is a special boy.”

“I know,” Charlotte grins even harder, roughly patting Lip’s cheek. “A very special man. So proud of him.”

Lip watches the exchange trying to figure out if he should be nervous, laugh, or think it’s hot that Charlotte is staking her claim right now, running her hand along his hair, face and chest as she pretends to smile at Helene.

Eric clears his throat stepping further into the room himself. “Charlotte, something smells great, and it came when you did so either you smell amazing or you cooked something.”

“Oh, I,” She takes a piece of blue tupperware out of the bag, placing it in front of Lip. “I made you lunch, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning and you didn’t take lunch so…I thought we could eat and talk, but, I see you’re busy.”

Lip turns to her, voice softening as he grabs her hand. “Bunny, I’m sure I can-”

“Oh, that reminds me.” Eric sighs, tapping his own forehead. “I meant to give you some assignments from my dad, I know it’s your lunch break, but you’d have to stay late otherwise.”

“Fuck.” Lips breathes, running his hand through his hair.

“It’s alright bro, I could take Charlotte to lunch.” Eric offers, not withering under the looks he received from the couple. “My girlfriend and I are meeting up anyway, let the girls hang out and spend my money, Becca’s always looking for a partner in crime.”

Charlotte looks at an apprehensive Lip. And she knows it’s wrong, but the way he and the cradle robber across the desk interact makes her feel petty. “Sure, if Lip’s busy.”

Lip fixes Charlotte with a look of betrayal that has her questioning her decision, but Eric is already guiding her away from him out of the door. Yeah, fuck that. Lip thinks, grinding his teeth as he goes to follow them out of the door. Helene’s hand shoots out to stop him before he can get far. “Oh, and Lip, before you get back to work, there’s a work dinner for all of the different departments that I’m hoping you’ll attend. I mean, I know your boss, Mr. Avery is excited to meet you there.”

“Look, uh, Helene, I mean, thank you for all of this. For the job, recommending me and shit, but,” He scratches his nose, “the texts, the calls, they have to stop. Like, now you’re visiting, and that’s weird, you see I have a girlfriend so…”

“Of course, I wouldn’t ever want to disrespect that, I just thought, after everything, we could be friends.” Helene stands, grabbing her purse. “Well, I can see now that’s inappropriate. But you really should come to this party. It’s good for your career to make friends and shake hands. Bring Charlotte with you.”

Lip tucks his head, “I dunno, I don’t…don’t really think Charlotte is gonna be in the mood, we uh, need to talk.”

“No matter what was going on, my husband and I always made it to each other’s work functions. We always supported each other’s careers. If someone can’t do that for you, are they really the one?”

The young man recoils, frowning at the implication. Yes. She is. Period. Full stop. They were out of tune today, but Lip knows what he knows. And he knows he and Charlotte are there for each other. He knows they love each other. He knows that these past few months were the best of his life. Even when he and Charlotte weren’t on good terms, he knew he wouldn’t want to be struggling to communicate with anyone else. “You uh, mean ex-husband. And she’ll be there.”

Helene barely hides the hurt look on her face before she lets out a short, “Great.”

“Do you think this is okay?” Charlotte twirls, the skirt of her brown dress flaring around her gives Lip ideas that he knows he shouldn’t be having. Especially while they were fighting. Kinda. Something else he’s learned over these last few months is that Charlotte holds stuff in. When she’s upset she doesn’t explode like his family does, shit like he does. Breaking property, getting arrested, fighting. She doesn’t withhold affection like Helene and Karen used to. No, she still let him touch her. Quietly letting him press his lips to her cheeks, not moving when he rubs his hips, bringing him lunch. It was the stillness. The angry tears. The lack of warmth that let Lip know things were strained. And it hurts.

“You look great, bunny. Fuckin’ beautiful.” Lip says from his bed, tapping his cigarette ashes into Ian’s ashtray.

“Okay, good. You ready?” Charlotte asks, smoothing her hands over her dress as she looks in the mirror. Her voice is so devoid of emotion, but her eyes are extremely expressive. Big brown pools full of sadness as they meet his in their reflection.

But Lip is new to this. New to trying to maintain. New to trying to keep someone of value. “Babe, uh, should we talk or somethin’?”

Charlotte takes a deep breath before turning to Lip with a tired smile. “Later. Let’s get you to your work thing and after you wow them with your big genius brain, we’ll leave early and try to get on the same page.”

“Yeah?” he stands, looking down at her.

Charlotte just shrugs, reaching over and adjusting his tie with a small smile playing at her lips. “Yeah.”

And that’s the game plan. When they arrive at the party, which they find is being hosted at a friend of the company’s house. If one could call it that. It looks like a fucking mansion, down to the marble columns. Lip felt out of place, everyone here looked so…expensive, and not in the ‘I worked my ass off way’. He felt different than he did when he’d met Helene’s friends back when they were hooking up. The only thing preventing the bounce in his leg as he basically paraded his intelligence to the highest bidder with the future of his family on the line, was Charlotte’s soft, steady hand on him at all times. Fingers intertwined with his. Rubbing circles on his back. Rested on his thigh as she leaned into him. All Lip could think about was the fact that he was here for her, for them. He could secure their futures together if he turned this internship into a permanent job. He could…could…shit. Is that what he wants? Hell, is that what she wants?

Lip’s thoughts are interrupted by Eric and Rebecca’s entrance. The latter immediately beams as she sees Charlotte, squeezing her way between crowds of people, turning her nose up at a tray of hors d'oeuvres being passed in front of her face. “Lottie!” she cheers, tugging Charlotte up by her hands, pulling her into a hug. “You look gorgeous my love, who are you wearing?”

“Um, I’m sorry, my mother got me this dress, but if you wanna pull the tag out-”

“Oh, no, honey it’s fine. You can call me with outfit details later, I need to go find Eric’s bitch of a mother.” she murmurs under her breath. “Sorry I couldn’t make lunch earlier, but thanks so much for reminding that asshole to bring me something. It’d be just like him to go to my favorite restaurant and bring me nothing.” Rebecca scoffs, tossing her hair before fixing a fake smile on her face, leaving to find her boyfriend’s mother.

“You,” Lip pauses, laughing in disbelief as he stands, looking between Eric and Charlotte. “You went to lunch together. Alone.” He nods to himself, still chuckling, slowly walking closer to Eric.

“Phillip.” Charlotte tries, putting her hand on his arm. “Phillip, we were already there when Rebecca said she wasn’t coming, stop.”

“Yeah, man, it’s nothing serious, I just took your girl to lunch, she’s probably never been to the nicer restaurants in Chicago before-”

“Man, I’m about to knock your fuckin’ head off.” the blond continues, calmly putting his drink down, the force making a sound that gathers the attention of passersby. Charlotte tugs at Lip again, pleading to him his ear, telling him to go get their jackets and she’d use the bathroom.

“Please, Phillip. Please. Just go get the jackets. Please. We don’t have to talk to him. Please.” she begs, cupping his face. Eric huffs as he watches the woman coddle her boyfriend and takes a deep swig of his drink wandering off to go find Rebecca.

Lip runs an angry hand through his hair stalking off to the room where the jackets are being kept without saying a word, trying to maintain his temper. But of fucking course. Of course he’d meet a girl like Charlotte. Of course she’d make him fall in love with her, and like a fucking idiot, he would. And of course they’d meet a jackass like fuckin’ Eric who wanted her, who could give her the things she deserved like nice dinners, cars, houses, the pretty fucking outfits she likes to wear. He could give her that without planning for months, saving, taking money in and out of their joint savings to take care of his batshit family. Lip slams the door behind him, going to sift through the coats before pausing, hearing sniffling from the other side of the room. “Uh, hello?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” a watery voice says, stepping out from the closet area Helene is clutching a tissue in her hand, going over to Lip. “I’m sorry, it’s just-” her words are cut off by sobs.

“Uh, shit, sit down.” Lip says, guiding her to sit on the bed in the room.

“I…my son just called, let me know he made it back to school okay. And…it slipped in conversation, his father went on a date. He’s started seeing someone. I’d thought…he’d maybe surprise me by coming here. Oh, and I was so rude about Charlotte earlier, but my partner is the one not here.”

Lip watches awkwardly as the older woman sobs, placing his hand on her shoulder after a moment, glancing around. Sure he felt bad for her, but after all this time, he’d realized she really had been a bitch to him. And her ex-husband. He’d thought so highly of her before, thought she was the best thing that would ever happen to him. Now she was crumpling in front of him and he could barely bring himself to comfort her. “Sorry. But, I thought that was like…you guys’ thing. Fucking other people.”

“No, that was more me, he…tolerated it.”

“Oh. That’s…shitty.” Lip whistles.

“It is.” Helene sighs, sniffing one last time. She wipes her face before fully looking at Lip. “I think I was filling some kind of void you know? Low self-esteem, issues with aging, I have them all. The only relationship I had outside of my marriage that meant anything is you.”

They hadn’t even heard it. At least, Lip hadn’t. The door opening. The sound of Charlotte coming to check on him since he hadn’t returned with their jackets. But he did hear her curse before slamming the door. He couldn’t move fast enough, leaving Helene behind he slips between the bodies of movers and shakers in scattered throughout the house, swinging open the door and running down the steps, finding Charlotte stumbling in the grass as she kicks off her heels, grumbling. “Charlotte!”

He catches up to her quickly, grabbing the car keys from the valet stopping at Kev’s truck. The woman keeps walking, head held high as she limps out of the gate. “Charlotte, are you serious? Get in the car.”

“No!”

“Fucksake.” he growls, getting into the car and backing out of the driveway, following alongside her slowly as she makes her way on foot. “It’s fucking dark, get in the car.”

“Leave me alone.” she huffs, crossing her arms, whining to herself about the dirt touching her feet.

The muscle in Lip’s jaw jumps, his scowl going deeper. He reaches over and lights a cigarette, smoking out of the window. “You know, you’re the one who went on a fuckin’ date with someone else today.”

Charlotte laughs, speeding up. “It wasn’t a fuckin’ date. His girlfriend was supposed to go, and she canceled. We were already there, and you were too busy eye-fucking that old professor that you conveniently left out you used to literally fuck.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about eye-fucking when you get naked for half of Chicago, alright?” Lip grits. Too far. He knows it immediately. He watches her stop, and look at him with hurt he never wants to see, her tear tracks shining in the lights from the streets. His own eyes glisten with unshed tears. He puts the car in park, cigarette still balanced between his lips as he hops out walking around the side and grabbing a kicking, protesting Charlotte by her waist, tossing her over his shoulder. Lip places her in the car and slams the passenger door before getting back into the driver’s seat, staring forward at the road.

Charlotte pettily snatches the cigarette from his mouth, opening her window and flicking it to the road. “Why didn’t you tell me you dated her?”

The blond takes a deep breath, letting his eyes slip closed. “I was embarrassed, and I thought it’d freak you out. That you’d ask me to quit cause she helped me get the job. And I would if you asked me to.”

“I would too. Quit. If you asked me to.” Charlotte sighs.

“I don’t wanna ask you to do that. You like it, it's good money, shit you just started. But I do hate it. Thought I wouldn’t, but I do.”

“So, we’ll talk about it more. Until we both know where we stand on it.” she says, facing forward too, she's quiet for another beat before speaking again. “I’m telling the truth about Eric.”

“I know.” Lip scrubs his hands down his face. “I know. And I am sorry that I yelled about that stupid shit with Frank. That bullshit just shouldn’t be your problem.”

“I want it to be my problem. I love your family and I love you. I want to be part of it. I want…I want to be your family. So I care about the money you guys saved being stolen, I care if Liam’s diapers get bought, and I care if Carl gets to go on his field trip.”

“Fuck, bunny, I know you care. I just don’t want you to deal with that shit, it’s fuckin embarrasin’ you having to see my family like that. Having to kick in money for the house.”

“It’s stuff I wanna do. Ian doesn’t walk on eggshells with Mickey. None of you do. You treat him like an honorary Gallagher. Why can’t you do that with me?”

The couple turns to each other now, Lip reaching over the console, grabbing Charlotte’s hand. “You’re fuckin’ better than us, bunny.” He says, one tear finally falling.

Charlotte reaches up, wiping away the drop before smoothing his hair. “You’re gonna stop talkin’ about my boyfriend and our family like that. Nothing is better than you.” She smiles as Lip brings her hand to his mouth kissing her hand. “Well, except Chad in high school musical, I mean, I let the Troy slander go, but he’s different-” she laughs into the kiss that he pulls her into, the two of them smiling into the embrace as they share soft, tender kisses.

The pair stays like that for a while. Wrapped up in each other. Sitting in the dimly lit car, running Kev’s gas on the side of the road without a care in the world. After a few moments of peace Lip decides to take a risk. It’s a big one, a very Fiona style decision. But those were random loser fuckers who got her off when she was vulnerable. This, this is Charlotte. His Charlotte. Who'd singlehandedly made his life better in the short time she'd been here. Who he loves an unexplainable amount that almost pisses him off. And he’s scared. Fuckin’ terrified. But he has to try.

“Sweetheart, how long have we known each other?”

Charlotte scoffs, playing with his fingers with an absent smile. “Well, three months, but it feels like forever. You know, I never know if people mean that in a good or bad way. I mean it the good way, obviously.” she beams at him, looking into his eyes and finding him with a serious face, her smile fades. “What?”

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Hm, nope, not supposed to. You?”

His chest tightens as he answers her. He doesn’t believe in stars aligning, or cosmic whatever, but he thinks that this might just be the fate shit that Debbie is spewing all the time that makes no scientific sense. “Nah, I uh…threatened my boss, so I gotta see if I still have a job. I think he has a thing for my hot girlfriend that I’m..I’m uh really in love with.”

“If he does, he doesn't stand a chance. Because I really love my boyfriend.” she hums. If anything was gonna be his confirmation, Lip thinks this is it. Those words were enough. “So what’s with the questions? You wanna do something?” she asks cutely, leaning her cheek into his hand.

This is it.

He looks down into her brown eyes and decides this is what he wants to see forever. Looking at anything else sucks anyway.

“Yeah, um…”

Just fuckin’ do it pussy.

“You wanna go get married?”

#oc #fiona gallagher #ian gallagher #kevin ball #lip gallagher #lip gallagher x oc #lip gallagher x reader #shameless #veronica fisher #gallagher #charlotte fisher #love #mickey milkovich #ian x mickey #better

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igotanidea · 1 year

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Toxic : Dick grayson x reader pt 2

Just FYI: As I mentioned I changed the readers proffesion (forensic scientist and tech expert) and her alias - to Flux (you'll figure it out), but everything else is the same.

I made a life for myself outsider of Gotham. Leaving the past behind hoping it would never come running after me. Since I was always interested in science and criminology (no surprise given my adoptive father’s side job) I became a forensic scientist and technician for the LAPD. I worked hard to become to best in my profession and the one people relied on. What was funny, despite my rather reserved outside and dislike of any office gossip I was also known as the one who gave the best advice. Maybe it was because of my abilities. Oh, and speaking of that other part of me, I tried to give up on them. Being Ghost just did not work out anymore so I made a choice of being ordinary, no-super-enhanced YN. Funny thing was that despite my quitting they developed. After year one I discovered that apart from being an empath I could also draw people’s energy and use it to form some sort of shields and protections. Shit. Is that what you get when you try to bury the past?

But this, this was fine. I was still able to make it work in line with my normal life. I got back in touch with an old friend, Donna Troy aka Wonder Girl, who used to be my best friend back in the titans day. We worked quite well together, her extravert nature filling well enough for my introversion and vice versa. We met from time to time, keeping our friendship afloat. Once she made a mistake of asking me about what happened in Gotham that made me run away and whether this concerned Dick (after all he was her friend too), but I shoved her off, probably a bit harsher than intended. But I knew she understood my motives.

Life was good for a couple of freaking years. And then all Hell broke loose. By some crazy accident I came to the information that our department will be energized by the new detective. Normally I would let this news pass me by without giving any more thought into it, but when I got the notification of the upcoming employee I could not believe my own eyes. We would like to inform you that starting today we will have another detective on board. Please give warm welcome to detective Dick Grayson. Fuck! What the hell was he doing here? Was it some undercover mission for Batman? Surely he did not know I was working here as well. It’s been such a long time and I thought I was over feelings for him. Ha, ha, ha….. Good joke apparently. Thank god I had my lab on the other side of the floor so, luck help me, we would not be seeing each other too often. Knowing myself and knowing Dick, this could got awkward.

Thoughts and memories started bombarding my head up the point where I forgot about “starting today” part of the message and if it wasn’t for some other detectives who saw me sitting and staring at the wall I would just miss this warm welcome. Not that I would complain if it were to happen. But they were reluctant to all my excuses starting from the pettiest one like “I got a lot of work to do” ending on the most unbelievable one’s like “I got an old injury in my leg back and I can’t move.” Damn detectives. They just dragged me out of the office into the conference room.

“What is this? A kindergarten party?” I muttered crossing my arms and trying to stand in the back

“Oh, come on YN, don’t be grumpy. You are going absolutely wild in this solitary lab of yours. Aren’t you at least a bit curious about the new meat?” detective Todd Carson asked me

“Nope. Not even a little.”

“I’ve heard he is hot, you know. You could use some distraction” Amanda, the secretary winked at me.

“Leave the girl be, guys.” Captain Sarah Anders cut them off, as always when situations get a bit more serious. “we are still at work and you know the HR policy on the matter of relationship between coworkers.”

“Thank you captain” I sighed “can I just go back to the …..?”

“Absolutely not. Despite everything you need to act nice towards our new colleague. Or at least, appropriately. And that requires meeting him”

“Believe me, I already had the pleasure” I mumbled almost inaudibly

“What were you saying?”

“Nothing. Sorry boss.”

“Good. Here he comes apparently.”

Fuck! He did not change a thing. Maybe brazened a little bit but apart from that he still got those messy, soft hair, smart, glistening eyes and straight posture. His energy was buzzing and it did not take my powers to see and fell that. I could not help the slightest blush that came onto my face.

“Changing your mind already, my dear?”” Amanda smirked at me “he is hot, isn’t he?”

I simply stayed silent since I couldn’t really deny and agreeing was not an option. At this moment I wished I could just turn invisible. Oh, wait….. Everyone was so busy with the introduction, captain Anders included that this might as well work out. I took a step back, towards the door to test the waters. No one noticed, so I took another one and then another and another. And just as I was about to cross the threshold Dick’s super-sensing made him turn head in my direction. It was …. Well, I don’t even know how to describe it. The way light froze in his eyes, but his facial expression did not change. The way his pupils dilated as he saw me, showing so many different emotions ranging from disbelief, though surprise, guilt and pain. It was physically hurting me, feeling all the same as he did. It was mere seconds before we both regained our cool attitude. Years of training made our reflexes and adapting abilities better than most people. He got back to greeting his teammates and I fled back to my safe space, my glass cage, controlling my breath and heartbeat in desperate need of something to focus on. However, I couldn’t stop wondering what will his next move be.

***

He didn’t come to see me. Obviously, I did not come to see him either. Like I mentioned my lab was on the other side of the floor so most likely he got too invested in whatever case was assigned to him to take any sightseeing tour. Was this a relief? Yes. Really. But for how long?

***

He broke three days later. I was sitting in front of the files and samples with headphones off but I still heard the knocking and instantly knew. Everyone else just busted through the door.

“Come in, detective” I sighed turning around.

“Are you hiding from me?” he cut straight to the chase

“Is that even possible? Given all you can do? All your trained skills?”

“YN….” He sighed and plumped down onto the chair next to me

“Sorry.“ I mumbled looking down “been a while. How you’ve been?” I tried acting cool, keeping all my questions at bay. Are you just passing by? Are you on a mission? Are still with…

“Small talk, YN?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just trying to be warm and welcoming, but might as well go big right ahead. Why are you here?”

“I quit.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I quit being Robin.”

“What happened?”

“I was becoming too much like Bruce. And I never wanted that. So I….”

“run away?” I asked eyeing him carefully

“yes.”

“Seems like we have something in common.”

“You had different motives for that.”

“I guess. But the results turned out to be the same.” I hesitated before speaking again “are you going to stay?”

“I left almost right after you. ” He spoke at the same time and it made us both go silent

“Um…. Do you need any help with your cases?” I swiftly changed the subject but it was already awkward.

“I might, if you are willing to give me a hand. Everyone speaks so highly of you.”

“It’s just the job, Dick. I try to do my best.”

“You always did.”

“Apparently not good enough in some matters.” I just couldn’t stop my bitterness and reminiscence of the past from getting out.

“I’m sorry.” He said after a while

“I know. The past is in the past.” I was terrible liar and he knew that “how can I help you? With work of course?”

***

It’s been a couple of weeks during which we worked together a couple of times. It was strange at first but soon this tension between us just went off and we were able to work without any inhibitions. It was clear to see he has changed. Definitely trying his best to not be like Bruce and move past all the aggression and pain he was raised with. So yeah, we were back to being friends or at least working it out this way. That was until a very special and very scared girl showed up at the precinct.

“YLN, there’s a call for you.” My solitary work was interrupted by fellow detective named Anderson

“Is it urgent?” I frowned, not used to being summoned this way.

“Apparently. Otherwise no one would dare interrupting you.”

“Who’s in need?”

“Grayson.”

“I’m not even surprised.” I sighed “I’ll pick it here if you don’t mind” I motioned him towards the door and he was quick to get out “What’s up Grayson?”

“YN, I might need a bit of your help in the interrogation room.”

“Interrogation room? I think you are mistaking my roles in this office, Dick. Unless….” I cleared one’s throat “who’s help are you seeking exactly?”

“I think you already know.”

“No.”

“YN….”

“No, Dick. We’ve talked about this. I gave up that part of me.”

“Did you?” he mocked

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Look YN, I’ve got a kid…..”

“Well then congratulations daddy” I could almost feel his blood boil at this word.

“Stop it! She’s scared. There’s something …. Different about her. I’ve never seen her before and she knew about the circus and the accident and all the history….. YN, I really need your help here.”

“What’s her name” I sighed standing up and getting ready to get to the second floor where the girl was.

“Rachel.”

“I’m on my way. But I don’t like it, Dick. At all.”

***

“Rachel?” I walked through the door where black-dressed teenager was sitting

“Are you Dick’s friend?” she looked at me with eyes filled with terror

“That’s the word he used?” I smirked “I guess you can say something like that. He mentioned some…. things about you…..”

“There’s something inside me….” She shook in fear

“Ok. We can work that out” I felt so much pain and struggle coming from inside “I’ll help you. We will help you.”

“How?” she looked me straight in the eyes “I don’t think you can do this.”

I sighed. Rachel was clearly something more than human. More like…. Me. But how do I explain to her the range of my abilities without compromising my work here. Been there, done that. Once you start again it’s like an addiction creeping inside your mind and craving more. Damn you, Grayson! You couldn’t just leave me be.

“Give me your hand, will you?” I put my palm forward but she was hesitant to grab it “don’t worry, you won’t hurt me. I know how to protect myself, ok? You have to trust me on this.”

The girl just nodded and gently touched my hand. None of us expected what happened later. Sudden splurge of invisible energy made us both gasp in pain. It was only a couple of seconds but I felt everything that was inside her coming at me and drowning me in. I immediately put an internal force field to save myself from being consumed but damn it was harder than everything I ever dealt with before. I could also sense she saw something about me.

“What just happened?” her eyes was wide with fear

“What did you see?” I panted breaking the contact “how much?”

“A couple years in the past. You and Dick and how you used your powers…..”

“Please keep it to yourself, will you?”

“Sure. What did you see?”

“I felt. What’s inside you is bigger than we can deal with ourselves. I will help you, Rachel, I promise. Just…. Stay here for a while, ok? I’ll get Dick and we will figure the rest out.”

“Please don’t leave me here” she sobbed

“Rachel, hey, don’t crack. What we are dealing with is not normal, but in case you didn’t notice neither am I. We will work it out.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise” I smirked “that’s still a thing, right?”

“Yes” finally the faintest of smiles showed on her face.

“Good. I thought I was getting out of touch with teenage slang. Wait here, I will put a force field on, all right. No one will hurt you.” I turned towards the door

“YN?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

I just nodded without a word. Now, I had a problem. And by saying I, I meant Dick had a problem as well.

to be continued

@somest1 @pinksirensong @deadpoolgirl23 @bearly-koalafied @vanessa-boo @shadowmarvelartist

#dc #dick grayson #dick grayson fanfiction #dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing x y/n #nightwing x you #nightwing x oc #nightwing fanfiction #dick grayson imagine #nightwing imagine #dc titans #titans hbo #titans x reader #dc x you #dc x reader #dc fanfic

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razorblade180 · 11 months

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A razor ramble

So I know I usually never talk much about my life but today has been so chaotic I just have to share it or I’ll go crazy! Ever have a day where you go, “well it can’t get crazier” but then it did!? That was me today!

I bought a simple ticket to go see The Flash. Got there early, wore my Flash shirt, and sat down calmly. Five seconds into the lights dimming, they come back on; the movie is paused. All the way at the bottom of the theater an Usher rushes in apologizing before kneeling next to a person. Everyone there is confused until we all collectively learn the person she’s in front of just finished having a seizure. When I tell you this was the calmest episode I’ve ever seen, I mean it!

Thirty minutes pass, the ambulance show up and wheel the dude away. Everyone was respectful and confused. The Usher asks if they should skip the trailers; the entire middle section of the theater said “Don’t you dare!” I laughed because I had nothing going on today. Before she starts it though, she brings in a coworker to help hand everyone free tickets for another movie as compensation. Coworker fucked up and gave me two.

I was hyped. I was literally complaining earlier how so many movies were coming out faster than I wanted to pay seeing. I shut my mouth and watch The Flash.

So the movie ends and I’m feeling pretty good. The bathroom outside is packed so I choose to wait. As I do, I learn we got out just in time for a screening of Elemental to start. Today was about to be a double feature because driving to theatre is always crazy. I decided to be a good person and go to customer service to use a free ticket instead of just walking into the theatre. That happens flawlessly, but the bathroom is still full. I don’t even really have to go, but I had a soda earlier and was about to commit to another movie. Decided to grab my seat and wait a little bit because not a lot of people went to see Elemental.

I walk in, there’s a pair all the way to the right at the top and on the far left are four people. I am right in the middle. The group of four are teenagers, talking loud and swearing in a movie marketed for kids.

I am a very patient and kind person but if you’re a person who goes to a movie theater to be loud, on your phone, and basically not watch the movie, I am 100% certain your mother doesn’t love you and your dad meant to pull out. I was preparing myself to either tell the group, who were clearly 4ish years younger than me to shut the fuck up, or to go get an employee. Thankfully, 2 minutes into the actual movie they got up and left and I was at peace. I look to my right for no particular reason. The pair is actually a couple and they’re kissing/cuddling. I don’t care. I respect the hustle. I’ve literally been them a handful of times.

20 minutes pass.

I am enjoying this movie. Then my entire row moves a little… I glance right. The girl is stranding the the dude. My eyes shift to the screen, my lips tucked in to hold a laugh. Game recognizes game; I’m not about to call them out. Younger me was a deviant with no car who went out of his way to spend time with with a date. That’s when I remembered something… the small theaters here can raise the arm rests. Something in my soul told me to focus on the screen. The row moves again. They are full on laying down about 8 chairs away. No I am frozen because they had gone beyond kissing, and my biggest concern wasn’t even me, but the parent and child one row directly below me.

Like I said, I’ve been the deviant. I know from experience where you have to be in relations to others to do risky shit. The couple is fine unless someone below leaves to pee. Which I had to do!!! But no part of me wants to potentially engage that situation. So I politely mind my business because not only do not want to interact with that situation, but I refuse to be the person to ruin the mood. I had to respect the hustle because past me would’ve been pissed. That didn’t stop the sheer embarrassment of being in that situation though. Eventually I thought they’d stop and then I could- they went the full runtime.

Movie ends, I stand up and go to leave while they are now pretending as if they watched the movie the moment credits roll. Now I could’ve remained silent, but no. If I had to live with this memory, so did they. I politely waited for everyone to leave, then I walk by them to go down the stairs before quickly turning around. I look theses community college deviants directly and just go “Guys, ya shook half the row.” When I tell you disbelief hit them with embarrassed smiles and panic, I mean it. They apologize in unison basically. I told them “you gotta either pick a louder movie, or actually wait longer than 10 minutes for the movie to start.” Then I left. I never want to be in that situation again, but it was always kinda hilarious. What a crazy day. Really hope not sneaking into a movie or ruining a good time comes back as good karma eventually. I’d like a raise at my job or something.

#life #razor rambles #couples #movies #the flash #elemental

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blaithnne · 2 years

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Anyways here’s some stuff i would do if disney came up to me and said hey write ducktales season 4 -

- Webby has a major identity crisis because of the clone thing, that’s her main plot this season. She’s trying to figure out who she is whilst the entire world is continuously comparing her to Scrooge.

- BIG emphasis on family vs biology.

- If in writing this s4 i can’t make any changes to the previous seasons then i don’t think i can get rid of the dad thing bc like, it’d be weird if they made a big deal abt her calling scrooge dad and then nerfed it next season, like as a viewer i’d find that weird, so we’re keeping that. With the extension of her, at some point, starting to call Beakley mum

- Maybe our big “twist” this season is that webby isn’t related to scrooge, but she still calls him dad in the end

- Huey is ALSO having an identity crisis! We’re playing with the fact that his arch didnt get revolved last season. He’s always been the smart one out of his brothers, but now Louie is shaping up to be a successful business person and Dewey is gonna be a pilot, and Huey has no idea what he’s doing with his life.

- May and june are with donald and daisy on their like cruise thing the whole season, and appear once per episode via a zoom call on an ipad. Donald and daisy appear sometimes too. Their whole running bit is that they’re convinced they’re now leading a normal life but it becomes increasingly obvious they’re just as weird as donald (affectionate). The four of them appear in person in the season finale

- We will not be introducing any new characters for no reason I swear to god. The only new character i’m even CONSIDERING introducing is Morgana and that’s it. This season will have a much heavier focus on our actual main characters. Aside from maybe morgana the only “new” characters would be mentioned, like an adult talking about their parents or showing a picture

- Beakley officially retires this season (not immediately, a couple episodes in, we get an ep about it)

- She also feels very guilty about all the lying so in an effort to stop doing that she has now flipped to the opposite end of the spectrum - brutal honesty. She speaks her mind 100% of the time and she rarley has nice things to say. You are never more than 5 minutes away from beakley roasting the shit out of you because that was just on her mind

- For simplicity’s sake she never had any kids before webby, that was a complete lie and the “Mrs” thing was an alias. I don’t want to spend time introducing three new characters, i wanna focus on our existing ones.

- For the first episode or two she is intentionalyl side lined, and then we get an ep more focused on her which shows she not only feels incredibly guilty abt the events of last season, but she also feels liek she doesn’t have a place in the family and is just there bc she’s the housekeeper. This episode would end with her finally officially retiring and staying in the manor, showing that she’s there because she’s family, not because she’s staff.

- Once retired we also get an episode that just shows beakley going stir crazy bc she’s bad at being retired lol

- An episode about sccrooge and beakley bonding! Scrooge sees webby and her friends together, or maybe they ask him who his best friend is and he’s like ah me and beakley! But then realises they haven't been as close in the past few years and whisks her off on a good ol mcduck and 22 adventure

- Hdlw sibling content. We are getting a reference to them seeing eachother as siblings like it or not. Maybe it happens bc webby goes “Hey, technically i’m your cousin” and the boys go “uh, no. you’re our sister, end of”

- W e b l e n a. Not clickbait. We resolve lena’s outburst at may and june from last adventure, we see her and violet talking and violets like “you dont see webby as your sister. You’’re very gay for her”

- LP being smart. We get some of that. We see his emotional maturity.

- Louie and dewey kinda take a backseat this season. They get some episodes and they’re, yk, there for a lot of them as supporting characters but their main archs are mainly resolved, so they mainly get some mini stuff this season

- Our big bad this season is probably negaduck bc like i said im not introducing a new villain

- I do think it’d be kinda cool to have a fucked up heron who clawed her way out of non existance and is in this fucked up glitched half alive state, who’s only purpose and thoughts are to destroy mcduck and 22

- Also at least one flashback episode, maybe a mothers day special that has the kids bonding with della and beakley in the present, and keeps having flashbacks to della and bealey having an adenture in the past

- Webbys starts calling della Aunt Della, the boys start calling Beakley Aunt B (usually i like the idea of them calling her granny like webby but if she’s calling beakley mom then that doesn’t make sense. Also it’d play into the “you have a very strange family dynamic thing” since they’re siblings but also theyve got two seperate moms)

- The boys get a bonding ep with scrooge to show he still values them even though webby is his “”real kid””

- Ep abt the boys missing donald on his trip :( maybe this is the first time we see donald on the facetime call

- I like the idea of sometimes there just being. Other people in the facetime calls. Like the kids are trying to talk to may and june and the three caballeros are int he background. Storkules is serenading donald and daisy. “Oh yeah those are our other parents. Donald and daisy have quite the polycule going on. You should see aunt min- *connection failed*”

- I wanna do smthn with the darkwing trio that can resolve with gos calling drake dad (maybe in the finale he gets injured and shes like NO DAD)

- Maybe an ep where webby finds out gos and dewey are close and she’s like wait. But WE are best freinds and hes like bruh youve got lena why cant i vibe with gosalyn. And webby tries really hard to have beef with gos but she just can’t do it she’s too nice and they end up being a trio

- An episode where fergus and downy visit the manor. And it turns out they’ve met beakley before bc scrooge used to bring her over sometimes and they’ve long since gone “yup thats our daughter. Wdym you just has the sibling talk recently bro we’ve known this for years we have 3 daughters moving on”

- Maybe matilda comes too and she and beakley have a sister bonding ep (bc beakley and scrooge will prolly have already had a few this season)

- I’d wanna have the kids bonding with fergus and downy for the main plot bc honestly we’ve not seen much of that lmao. Also donald talks to them on his zoom call bc yeah idk

- DELLA TALKS ABT HER TRUAMA. FROM BEING ON THE FUCKING MOON.

- Dellumbra :)

- bonding ep for the boys and beakley

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quietmoonwitch · 3 months

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Complex Witch Stuff & Dealing with a Legitimate Curse

I won't write a very long post. (Edit: I guess the post was long after all—could have been even longer.) This is more of a status update. Someone with whom I talk fairly regularly on this platform wrote to me yesterday with, "Where've you been?" My short answer was, "I'll write a post about it."

My longer answer here is, "I live in a community where there are a number of experienced magical practitioners." Make that, "a number of unhinged experienced magical practitioners." And there are at least two or three I'd describe as "crazier than a loon." One of these crazies has laid down a serious curse on me. I have socially and magically verified it. And most of my energy for the past two weeks has gone towards mitigating its effects.

Most witches and sorcerers have 90% online magical personas (unless they're in IRL covens). So someone cursing them has to work through the lines of connection provided by the internet at best. But effective cursing is complex and a curse can work just fine at a distance (especially if it has a strong spiritual intelligence behind it and isn't just a burst of hateful energy). Apart from online, there are even fewer barriers to laying down work on someone.

I often regret exiting the broom closet and becoming known IRL, especially by these local suburban witches, many of whom have enough time, disposable income, and life-frustration to want to mess with others. It also doesn't help that I'm a guy who pretty much keeps to himself but who radiates a lot of "big energy," for lack of a less new age term. It makes me a target for bitter former coven witches.

I could write a long essay about the situation, but I said I'd keep it short. So this is what's up:

I've been in a local coven for a couple years (and have been practicing the craft for about two decades). My background is in traditional craft and folk work, but I've also studied ceremonial magic and been part of several serious IRL magical groups.

Recently, the coven broke up. One guy moved to France and fell out of communication with us. Another woman, who was obsessed with the (married) High Priest, had a breakdown. She decided to go back to her evangelical Christian denomination and reacquire Jesus as her personal savior. She also won't speak to any of us. "Whatever," I recently said to a mutual acquaintance, "I always thought she was a little nutty." Because she was and really didn't have much magic beyond all the seduction work she was putting in on the HP.

There were 13 of us. Most either drifted away or just stopped coming to meetings. The High Priestess and High Priest (married for 10 years and not trying to run a sex cult, despite the schemes of the various unhappy middle-aged ladies in our group) have an open-door policy and a few of us still show up fairly regularly to meditate and have something like a potluck plus discussion, which is largely what we did as a coven. In a sense, we're still a coven. We just stopped calling ourselves that.

Another suburban housewife, who was sort of going through a second adolescence, competing with the now-relapsed evangelical (mentioned in #2 above) for the HP's attention, got extremely pissed off at everyone (for reasons I had to discover through divination, no less). Let's call her "Angry Witch." AW cursed (a) the entire coven; (b) a close friend; and (c) me because she thought we'd banded together with Ye Relapsed Evangelical to help her get the High Priest away from his wife. That was some crazy, squirrly, irrational shit. But such is the foundation of many curses. Think: aged Mean Girl with enough power and knowledge to be a problem.

So AW put some fairly heavy curse work in and my friend got sick. I realized what was happening and got it off me. So did the High Priest and Priestess (I should say "former," but I like them and still think of them that way). Then we met and compared notes. All of the remaining members of the coven in contact with us were either ill, suffering from extreme runs of bad luck, or (in one case) in the hospital from a freak job site accident.

The HPs and I did a reversal. AW subsequently had a cancer scare, which then was found to be benign. How do we know? She flat-out accused us of sending the Big C in her direction. We hadn't. But we had worked a potent reversal. So if she sent something that nasty at us (she did), it made sense. She tried a few more nasty curse things. All was returned to her.

Finally, she went out and hired a conjure worker to do killing work on four of us. She didn't try to hide it and was feeling very smug. Right now, I am still dealing with the implications and repercussions of that.

Baby Witches of Ye #Witchblr, here are a few takeaways:

Covens can be wonderful, but they can also be like dysfunctional high school cliques full of adults going through a second puberty. Keep that in mind.

Give an emotionally unstable person a tiny bit of power and they will most likely use it for the worst reasons.

This is just a general observation (not a witch-specific one): when middle-aged people fall for someone to the point at which they're ready to burn their own marriage / domestic situation to the ground, they're already a bit out of their minds. When the person they're falling for happens to be happily married and content, you can add bitterness and jealousy to that. When they get rejected and humiliated and know how to work curses, well, guess what happens . . .

Curse work, when done right, can last for a really long time, can be lethal (not just a depressing pain in the ass), and can be hard to remove, especially if it's layered in multiple ways.

So I've been busy, I guess. Stay healthy, my friends, and remember: you don't know what other people know, how experienced in sorcery and the craft they may be. Even an idiot in other ways can lay down powerful work if they're experienced and angry enough. And there are more magical practitioners (and magical thinkers) in the world than society likes to acknowledge. Be respectful to everyone. And only come out of the broom closet to people you trust.

#witch #witchblr #cursed #witchcraft #witch community

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keys2thefalcon · 9 months

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It Happened One Mission

For @hanleiacelebration

Prompt: Anniversary

His legs were longer and could usually outrun her. But it had been crazy getting out then through the terminal and it was easier for her to dart around things. He lost sight of her a couple times but then she’d pop up a few feet away. It pissed him off a bit that she never seemed too concerned about keeping an eye on him but that was the Princess. She only had eyes for the Rebellion.

Han watched Leia dash inside the small transport then almost tripped over an old woman struggling with her bag. He somehow managed to not fall down, or knock the woman over, or swear too loudly at her. She was flustered, rattling on about getting to her daughter’s, the wheels on her bag were broken, she was going to miss her transport.

“Where?” He was shouting, which he knew probably wouldn’t help but the station was busy and he didn’t have much time.

“Where is my daughter?” The old lady looked around her and Han wondered if this was a dementia thing. “She’s on Capra. That’s where I’m going.”

“Your transport! Where’s your damn transport?”

She pointed to the ship maybe fifty feet away. Han grabbed the woman’s bag and ran inside. He shoved the bag on the luggage rack above an empty seat then raced back out. He heard a faint thank you but didn’t look back. He slid inside his own transport just as the doors closed and locked behind him.

Han took a few seconds to collect himself. Catch his breath. The car was crowded and loud and all seemed to know each other. They were talking, yelling across the seats, already sharing snacks and drinks, and taking up too damn much space in Han’s opinion.

He looked around but didn’t spot her right away. She was too short to be seen over the high seats anyway and likely tucked low to stay hidden. He moved down the aisle, keeping an eye out for her short wig and hat that she insisted on calling a bonnet just to bug him.

She’d been getting on his nerves non-stop this mission. It was supposed to be a quick job, in and out, but she kept coming up with detours. She told him he could mind his own business, find a card game or cheap cantina to entertain himself, but she had things to do. She wanted to see the training facility for herself, get some holos, and that led them to the vehicle pool. It was his idea to talk to the mechanics and that got them to the distribution centre where everything went to hell. They got out without too much blaster fire and only a few guards on their tail but it was one more time his life ended up on the line for some holos and a datachip. The pay, if there was any, was shit and there was definitely no glory. The Princess barely said thank you most of the time. Acted like he was the one who owed her something.

Two women, looked like a mother and daughter, were turned around in their seats with arms crossed on top. They were both talking and laughing and reminded Han of an advert. Probably selling insurance or housewares. Some over-the-top display of what a happy family was supposed to look like.

“This isn’t even all of us!” The mother’s voice carried over the rest of the noise which was kind of remarkable. “I have two brothers and their families coming in from Westlin.”

“And plenty we aren’t actually related to.” The daughter wasn’t as loud but just as enthusiastic. “They’ve collected a lot of people over the years.”

Han would’ve walked right past if she hadn’t answered them.

“I almost wish I could come with you. It sounds like a wonderful reunion.”

Leia wasn’t wearing the hat anymore, probably shoved in her bag, and had on a different jacket. She was sitting forward, practically on the edge of her seat. Her cheeks were still lightly flushed from their run. The adrenaline rush of making it out with all their info intact.

He plopped down in the seat beside her and expected to see a scowl. She’d been pissed at him for taking the nearest—and best option in that moment—exit out of the control room and setting off an alarm. Called him every insult she could muster while racing down the stairs. Said she was done with his idiotic schemes. But when she turned to look at him as he sat down, her eyes were bright. He might have said she looked happy if he didn’t know better.

“You made it. Thought I’d finally lost you for good.”

It was a jab but she was smiling.

“Gabbi, do you have the tickets?” A man called from across the aisle. He was rummaging through a bag and looking stressed.

“Duty calls.” The mother laughed and turned away. “Yes, husband dear. Everything is in order.”

More people got involved in the discussion. It was bizarre. Jokes and comments came all over. Everyone seemed to know the husband would have a moment of panic and Gabbi would have it all under control. Even the husband was laughing. Didn’t mind the ribbing. Agreed that he shouldn’t have doubted his wife’s organizational skills. Han tried to take it all in. Who the hell were these people?

“It’s their sixtieth wedding anniversary.”

He turned to Leia and she snickered at his obvious look of confusion. She leaned forward, over his lap, and pointed a few rows ahead.

“Up there.” The only thing visible was an elbow on an arm rest. “Gabbi’s parents. They are all going to Bercolt because that’s where they got married. All the kids, grandkids, friends.”

Leia sat back in her seat, resting her hands in her lap.

“Sounds exhausting.” He leaned back, resting his head against the seat. This flight already felt too long.

“Does everything have to be a problem with you?” She sounded frustrated. “Is it so hard to believe that a group of people like each other and want to spend time together?”

“Yeah.” He looked at her with full sneer disguised as a smile. “Fifty says there’s a fight before we land. Hundred it’s a fist fight.”

“You’re on.” She held out a hand to shake on it. She didn’t normally accept his bets so he was a little thrown off. “I will expect payment in full when we arrive.”

“Sure, sister.” He shook her hand. “Don’t worry. I pay my debts faster than your accountants.”

“Hmmm.” She raised an eyebrow. “I know of at least one Hutt who might disagree with that statement.”

The announcement to buckle in as the transport made the jump to lightspeed prevented him from responding but that was just as well. He couldn’t really argue with her point about Jabba.

They had a few hours flight and Han realized he didn’t have much to keep him occupied. Just sitting wasn’t going to cut it.

He felt the exhaustion catching up with him. They should’ve been on the Falcon but the stabilizers started acting up so they landed on Bercolt for repairs. Leia was furious. She ranted about his hunk of junk bucket of bolts ship and why did she ever think the Falcon would get the job done. Han was just as mad—at his damn ship for falling apart again—cos it felt like she was actually saying he was the one letting her down when he was doing every damn thing in his power to help—and spent as much time yelling as he did on repairs. When he and Chewie finally admitted they needed a new part, Leia announced she would take the transport on her own. That brought on more arguing but they ended up on the transport together. He was too wired, too aware that anything could go wrong, to get any sleep on that leg. Leia, however, conked out almost as soon as they hit hyperspace. Her head resting against his shoulder almost the entire way.

It was the opposite now. She was talking to Gabbi and her daughter but Han didn’t catch much of the conversation. Something about Gabbi’s parents running a dry goods shop that didn’t hold Han’s interest. He was lazily staring at her jacket. Finally noticed she hadn’t change jackets but turned hers inside out. Smart. Probably had that worked out earlier. Knew it was an option. Leia liked to know the options. Knew how to think on her feet. And looked good doing it. The jacket looked good on her. The exposed lining. It was a light blue and looked soft. So soft. Probably as soft as something. There was something he couldn’t quite name. Tip on his tongue.

“Honey cake?”

Han’s eyes shot open and he was set to knock the guy down if Leia didn’t grab his arm. The man leaning over Han was a lot older than Gabbi’s husband, probably in his eighties. He held out the container with honey cake, urging Leia to take a piece.

“My wife makes it. The best you’ll ever try.”

“Thank you.” Leia was cheery as she took some. Gave Han a quick nod to take his own. “It smells delicious.”

Han shook his head. First at Leia then the old man. He knew his eyes were probably a bit too wide but he’d been in a deep sleep only seconds earlier. This was a lot to take in all at once if he was expected to sit still and not rush at this man to get him the fuck away. Han didn’t like anyone standing so close.

The man walked off and Han turned back to Leia when he felt her move beside him. She rearranged herself in the seat, pulling her legs up and folding them beneath her. She cradled the cake in one hand.

“You were snoring.” She let out a soft laugh. “You look like you slept next to a magnet.”

He ran a hand over his head, thinking for some reason she meant his hair. He blinked a few times hoping to clear things up.

“How long was I out?” His voice was sounding rough.

“Maybe two hours.”

She broke off a piece of cake and put it in her mouth, careful not to lose a crumb. She always ate like that. Didn’t want anything to go to waste. Even when they were in the field and surviving on ration bars and meal replacement boxes. Slow and methodical. He watched her mouth for a few too many seconds.

“You missed a lot of juicy stuff. Gabbi and Harlon, that’s her daughter.” Leia nodded toward the seats in front of them. “They told me all about redecorating Harlon’s daughter’s room. Ruthy. That’s the daughter. Granddaughter. She’s sitting a few rows back with her father. All the cousins wanted to sit together so the fathers are back there pretending to keep watch. That’s how Gabbi described it. Pretending. Ruthy came up here a few times. She’s maybe seven and very cute.”

How or why was Leia still so energized? Didn’t she have a report to write? Plan some mission that would eventually get him killed?

“Why are you in such a good mood?”

Leia’s face fell very briefly but she put another piece of cake in her mouth and shrugged.

“Why do you insist on being such an ass?”

What the hell did that mean? She’d been tense before. Upset. Worried about the

mission than pissed when they ran into trouble. He was checking in on her and she snapped at him.

“Guess some people just bring it out in me.”

That got the reaction he was after though it wasn’t as satisfying as he hoped. She spun in her seat to face forward dropping her feet to the floor. She took a few obvious and deep breaths. Han waited for the comeback. The back and forth that fueled most of their interactions.

“I’m not falling for this time.” Leia put her hands in her lap again. “What about being surrounded by a happy, multi-generational family celebrating love and sharing honey-cake could put you in such a foul mood?”

“Never trust a happy crowd. All this talking and moving around is distraction. You should be checking your pockets instead of giving me a hard time.”

“I am not giving you a hard time.” She narrowed her eyes at him when she realized she almost took the bait. “No one in this car is a thief. Other than you, of course.”

“What the hell you done with the Princess? Two years straight, all I hear from you is the Rebellion. It’s the only thing that matters, all you want to think about, the only thing worth your time. Now suddenly it’s all baked goods and true love?”

“First of all, you know better than anyone that I do on occasion think about other things.”

A corner of her mouth went up in a half-smile and he felt caught. Yeah, he knew she had plenty else to say when she wanted but admitting that wasn’t going to help him make his point. He was losing sight of that point but felt certain he had one.

“It was a good day.” She turned in her seat. Rested her head against the seat while looking at him. “Things veered a bit off course but we got more than we anticipated. Information we can use. Information we desperately need. Take the day as a win, Han. It might be awhile before the next one.”

He felt wide awake. Ready for something. Another thing he couldn’t name.

“Do you know what you need?” She sat up again and Han knew he should probably be nervous. Alarm bells should be going off. “You need to learn more about Ruthy’s sticker collection.”

She leaned over him and called for Ruthy.

“More? Do I know anything about Ruthy’s sticker collection?”

“Trust me.” Leia was still leaning over him, waving down the aisle. “Once you know anything about the collection, you’ll never forget it.”

Han felt almost paralyzed at first and it didn’t help that Leia couldn’t stop laughing beside him. Ruthy stood in the aisle and rested the book on his lap. She went through every page and described every sticker in detail. It was a blur of names and storylines and superpowers he didn’t understand until he started asking questions. It still didn’t quite make sense after that but it was a hell of a lot more fun.

Ruthy’s stickers led to her older brother coming by to talk sports and his favourite team. Their little brother was, well, Han had no idea how old he was other than young. Not great at walking and didn’t say much. Gabbi spent a lot of time watching him. Called him her little bantha bear, which made no sense but Han could see the appeal.

Leia asked everyone questions. She might’ve been working recruitment but he was pretty sure she was just curious. She wanted to learn everything about these people in the time they had. She laughed at their stories. Listened and absorbed and stored them all.

Han looked up when he heard a loud clearing of a throat. The old man stood at the front and raised both his arms. Han watched as the man waited until everyone, including the non-family members in the car, quieted down and looked at him. There were a couple of giggles and someone clapped. Han exchanged a quick glance with Leia. She looked more curious than his perplexed.

“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.” The man’s singing voice was full and strong. Rich. “I'm half-crazy all for the love of you.”

Someone clapped and someone else let out a whoop.

“It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage.” He stretched his arms out wide and looked down at his wife. “But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a speeder bike built for two.”

The entire car burst into applause. Han looked over at Leia, sitting on the edge of her seat again and clapping. She was tearing up but looked happy.

“We will go tandem as man and wife.” The man helped his wife stand then draped an arm over her shoulder. “Peddling away down the road of life.”

Han didn’t exactly know what to do. He’d been in plenty of cantinas when beings started singing, usually very drunk and likely right before a brawl broke out. He wasn’t sure how he should react and if he should find cover for him and Leia in case things got messy. The old man continued to sing while he and his wife swayed. She rested a hand on his chest and laughed.

When the verse was done, Han turned back to Leia with a what the fuck just happened look but then a dozen people or more started singing the chorus. Back to Daisy and the speeder bike built for two. This time, everyone was swaying in their seats, including Leia.

A different guy, maybe a few years younger than Han, stood up. He was sitting far back in the car and Han thought he was with a different group but it was hard to tell. He jumped right into the next verse. Something about dark roads and bright lights in the dazzling eyes. That was the only part of the song that Han really understood. The young guy finished up, there was more cheering, then the chorus. More people were singing, filling the space with dozens of voices.

“How does everyone know this song?” Han stretched around his seat to look behind him. It was verging on rowdy but there was no brawl in sight. This was obviously something the family did often enough, including roping in strangers. He turned back to Leia. “You know this song?”

She could’ve rolled her eyes and said, Of course. Made a crack about everyone knowing this song. But instead she smiled and tilted her head. She nodded a few times and laughed, and when the chorus started up again she sang along.

Everyone was in on it now. He knew if he scanned the car, the old man would be at the front with his wife, her hand still on his chest, both of them swaying. Gabbi would be holding her grandson. Her husband would be standing at his seat, waving his arms like a conductor. But Han didn’t look around, didn’t scan the car. He kept his eyes locked on Leia.

There were still tears, welling up but refusing to drop. Her cheeks were getting that rosy tinge again. Not from running or adrenaline but taking in everything thing in the room. The happiness these people felt being together. And then he felt it. It was coming from her not the room. He wasn’t going to call it happiness cos that seemed like a leap and joy wasn’t a thing he acknowledged but he did wonder for a second what a bursting heart might feel like.

“You'll take the lead in each trip we take.”

Her voice was unexpected. Rich and full and haunting. Leia speaking could drive him mental, in good and bad ways, and he’d imagined sounds she might make in bed more than a few times. Singing, though. Her singing voice could crack a guy wide open. It felt like an invitation. A promise. The unimaginable.

“Then if I don't do well, I will permit you to use the brake.”

Her hand brushed against his. He moved his fingers to wrap around hers but she pulled away too quickly.

“My beautiful little Daisy Bell.”

Leia’s face went bright red as everyone cheered. Han clapped along with them. Whistled a few times and called out, “Nice, Sweetheart!” She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment and collapsed against the back of her seat as the crowd sang the final round of the chorus.

She didn’t sing along. The almost-tears were gone and her blush was starting to fade. Han twisted in his seat so he was facing her, shielding her from view. He reached out and pushed the bangs back, repositioning her wig that was slightly askew. She didn’t dart away when his fingers gently caressed her temple.

The song was done and Han could hear laughter, one of the kids let out a happy shriek, chatter as everyone settled back down. Leia sat up straighter and cleared her throat. She was trying to restore order. Probably planned on getting back to preparing her report and making plans for when they landed on Bercolt. Han chuckled and she raised an eyebrow, wondering what he thought was so funny.

He knew better than to admit what was on his mind. He shrugged instead. Repositioned himself in his seat. Gave her a bit of space so they could continue to enjoy this moment. Each other.

She could go back to her work and plans. Slip back into their arguments and insults. Do whatever she thought was needed to return to the normal they’d been living for two years. It was all fine with Han cos he knew the truth. There was no going back after this one.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49340953

#hanleiaweek2023 #hanleiacelebration #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #day 1: anniversary #it happened one night #more info on ao3 #terrible at titles #was going to write a song for a sing-a-long #i am NOT a songwriter #everythingisanexperiment #hanleia #han x leia

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rookie-critic · 1 year

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (dir. John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein) - review by Rookie-Critic

Making a Dungeons & Dragons film is not something you think would be difficult, but it has proven to be quite a challenge. Since the original tabletop RPG's release in 1974, only four official films have even been released, and the first one of those didn't come out until 2000, 26 years later. That original trilogy of D&D films had a rough go of it, all three being both commercially and critically panned, and none of them even coming close to truly capturing the wondrous and, frankly, kooky spirit anybody who has actually played the game before knows it to have. With literally endless narrative possibilities, how can filmmakers keep failing to capture the essence that makes this fantasy role-playing game so much fun? Honor Among Thieves bursts through the theater wall like some kind of medieval Kool-Aid Man with answer to that question, and the answer is: comedy.

I have only played Dungeons & Dragons a few times, but just from what little experience I have with the game, I can tell you that the one constant the D&D experience offers is humor. The main game mechanic of having to come up with your own solutions to problems, with everything revolving around some arbitrary numbers on a page and a roll of the 20-sided die, is a veritable stomping ground for quirky hijinks and mayhem. Having the utmost confidence in yourself and your plan to get past an obstacle only to roll a one and fail miserably, having to act out the ensuing embarrassment in real time, that's what makes D&D so much fun. The fantasy world is almost just a vehicle to introduce wild NPCs and gadgets and magic to even further induce mischief. The thing that makes Honor Among Thieves work so well is that it takes all of these aspects of the game and just slaps them onto the big screen. I can just as easily have seen this as a HarmonQuest-style internet show where Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and the rest sit around a table with some cameras pointed at them as we watch them actually play this campaign out in actual Dungeons & Dragons. Characters shit talk each other, deliver quippy one-liners when appropriate, get caught off guard by something they didn't expect to happen, come up with crazy solutions that logically shouldn't work, but then it somehow miraculously does. Literally everything about the spirit of this film is perfect, and the most wonderful part is you don't have to be into D&D in order to enjoy this, it's mostly just a fun adventure comedy.

The whole cast shines perfectly in their respective roles (I'm always a huge fan of Hugh Grant in anything comedic), but a truly special shout out needs to go to Chris Pine on this one. If Chris Pine isn't the perfect choice for a too-sure-of-himself, slightly annoying, but lovable bard-type character, then I don't know who is. I would say my one reservation with the film is that there are a couple of moments where the writing leans a little too heavily on over-exposition when explaining some of the deeper lore the audience needs for context on characters. There was probably a way that could have been weaved a little more naturally into the dialogue, but I can probably just chalk it up to yet another D&D trope. Maybe when the writers were playing through this campaign (which I'm almost certain they did), they had a slightly over-zealous DM who got a little too into it sometimes. These moments never last too long and, ultimately, do provide a lot of necessary information regarding certain important characters in the story, so they didn't end up detracting from the viewing experience hardly at all. This was a fun, heartfelt, and hilarious journey into one of the most famous mythical lands there is that the film makers clearly put a whole lot of love and personal experience into. It makes for a D&D film that anyone, regardless of age or interest in the source material, can have a fantastic time with.

Score: 9/10

Currently only in theaters.

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unknwnxquantity · 2 months

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There is no one from my past that I want back romantically. I’ve healed past all that and made peace with things thankfully. But there are ppl I miss being friends withhhh 😭 like this one girl. It’s a little messy with her bc she was one of my ex best friend’s hs gf. He introduces her to that friend group and I don’t think she liked me much at the time bc I was super close to that friend (and I was his first kiss Idek if she knows that lmao) anyways yeah we were just mutuals for years. Then ended up unfollowing each other on stuff. Which is fine, no hard feelings we weren’t close lol

Fast fwd to peak covid she hits me up out the blue. Refollows me when my ig was still public and id write my silly deep descriptions, DMs me on ig on some “I know this is random but I’ve been feeling lost lately and I just read some of your IG posts. I aligned with all that you said, my soul is calling to you and I really feel like I need you in my life” and some “it feels like every cell in my body is aligned, my ears are ringing, I really feel like I needed to hit you up. Your energy is pulling me in” And I’m like uhm…. Ms girl? What? lol. Me being who I am, a part of me is like omg she feels called to meeee and sees meeee but another part is like …😀? You are this man’s ex hitting me on some “crazy” shit. It was like a couple paragraphs of saying verbatim what I said and how she was feeling lost in life and clicked on my post and then it all started clicking. I responded back kinda vaguely and then days later she’s like hey I didn’t mean to scare you but I never felt that aligned and something so right in my life and was just so excited. And I’m like okay you got me lol let’s be friends and talk about spirituality. Bc I was also going through like a second awakening during 2020, like another huge spiritual journey. This was a phase of me just talking to new ppl on tiktok, tinder, etc, old friends, etc.

People told me not to trust her. They said don’t do it. But I’m glad I trusted her when I did. We’d talk about the most small but intricate stuff bro. From h0lly w3ird, to the stuff that starts with an A that’s depicted in monsters inc (I was going DOWN all types of dark rabbit hole conspiracies with others too during that time, it’s sad but it’s what’s happening behind the curtains)… all the stuff you can’t talk about on social media basically lol to spirituality. Deep rooted, ancient practices, rituals, astrology, medicine, holistic approaches, etc. or even random shit like how a leaf resembles human veins, and that the whole of one human represents a whole of one tree, and how it plays into a whole ecosystem of things. And how trees and humans are similar to one cell. Theres millions and billions, and yet it can be narrowed down to just one for our brains to try and comprehend the endlessness of the universe. Or like this one time I sent her a pic of the trees while I was in nature at this park I’d go to a lot during covid, that helped me heal a lot and I’d go on walks with my family and that started our little walks and talks, and for the first time ever I was close to my mom, bc of those walks. But anyways I sent her a pic and was like hey I thought of you and I sent a voice memo I think idk. But I remember her being like “I wonder what the birds are saying when they chirp.” And I was like YOOOOOO that really rocked my world. Like what are they talking about amongst each other? What other conversations have they had today? What are their day to day lives like? What is their level of consciousness? Do they realize they do the same shit everyday but that everyday is always a little bit different? A different route to fly, a different bug to eat, a different person they see at that same moment just going about their own consciousness? Do they realize the earth is dying around them? We all cross paths and yet never bat an eye to each other and not realize how fucking cool but random life is. We had a lot of talks like that. It felt like someone really got it. How mysterious and infinite life is. Infinite infinities, infinite everything it hurts my brain to think about. It’s all happening at the same time. Every timeline, every life, every fucking thing. Our death our past lives our future lives are all happening at the same time!! Are you even real? Am I the only consciousness and everyone else is a projection that was randomly set by the simulation? Why am I in this particular simulation? WHO am I really? That’s a scary theory I try not to align with that one. I need to stop my hearts beating fast.

Wait one more. Another random thing that came to mind is why do I feel pain if I bang my hand on the counter? Or a hard surface? What makes a surface hard? Why instead of pain, why don’t I feel happiness or yodel (yodel is never apart of my vocabulary idk why out of all words that was what I thought of)? Who decided that the feeling of pain is the appropriate reaction for when you bang your body part on something? What is pain? Why does emotional pain hurt more than physical? I know why, but who in the simulation made the rules like this???? Why does it rain from up above, but not from the ground up? Why does it rain period? WHO looked at the rain and said “yup let’s call this rain”? My mind always thinks like this sober bro that’s y I can’t smoke bc then I really start to see the world happening all in one moment it’s too much.

Going into my memories thinking about this is making me feel a little weird. Like I should leave her in the past. Which I am! But I’m always like no it’s okay let’s go through these weird feelings i didn’t need to bring up and explore it even if it makes you feel weird for the next couple hours or days. Just to revisit them.. I’m allowed to reflect.

Back to the original plot of the story, I had to cut her out my life tho bc she betrayed my trust. We started to like each other a little but she was in DR with her grandma for the summer. We’d talk almost everyday til she got back and we were suppose to meet up then she stopped responding for a bit. Something was off and she didn’t admit to it at first. Til she randomly tells me like hey.. I didn’t know how to tell you this but I moved in with my ex bf bc my family didn’t wanna take me back in (which is why she went to her grandmas in the first place). I felt so fucking betrayed. I stopped talking to her and she would text me hoping to forgive her and that she really missed me. I already knew she wasn’t the most trustworthy person to begin with, when I learned the tea as to why ex best friend and her broke up. I can’t really go into too many details, it was something she did, but she never told me herself so idk. lol but yeah. Even months after that, I accepted her apology bc it wasn’t really that deep in retrospect. But then I had to cut her off bc she said something while I was in my relationship about having a dream about me and we made out…. And once my gf found out about that bc ofc that’s gonna have to come up. There was other little things too that happened with her where my gf was like no she cannot be in your life if we’re in this relationship bc that’s disrespectful and she’s crossed boundaries. Which I agree. I cut her off out the blue tho, even after we had a convo about us being on good terms. It sucks but sometimes you gotta do what’s right to protect your relationships energy. She even re requested to follow me on IG over a year ago tho and that’s just a bit messy. Messy girl. That right there proves she does not take loyalty in relationships seriously. But is that unfair to say? She’s in one tho with a man traveling living her best life. Hope she’s doing good. Okay edit……. I found out she’s pregnant?? What is life. Congrats tho fr

Idk what the point of this was. I was feeling nostalgic this morning. I’m slowly learning that just bc you miss someone doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Past me would be like BUT BUT WHY, WHY CANT PPL JUST GIVE INTO THEIR EMOTIONS :( But now I’m like I get it. Logically sometimes things are left better untouched. It’s a balance of knowing when and when not to do something even if you really want to. And even if the good intention is there, life’s about reading the room and trusting the universe. Not trying to bring things back to life when it’s better left untouched or at least untouched in this moment. Maybe it’s done for the rest of your life, or maybe just for this period of time in your human experience. It’s like when the media makes more and more sequels of a movie that was better off with just the one movie. Like Toy Story 3 and 4 wasn’t necessary. It was cute. But it tarnishes a little the image of how beautiful Toy Story 1 and 2 were. Or like jersey shore family vacation, like y’all need to dead that already. Again, it’s all about reading the room. You can’t just give into your impulses. That’s a main struggle I have too. So I’m trying to become more disciplined. That’s part of what life’s about (s/o to my Virgo north node🤪🥲).

#unknwnxquantity

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