How is the Musk vs. Zuckerberg cage fight not all over tumblr immediately this is insane this is God's gift to mankind this is the funniest thing that's ever happened in the history of planet earth. Eat the rich???? Eat the rich??!!?!?! We aren't going to even get the CHANCE to eat the rich bc they are literally, LITERALLY going to kill each other with their teeth!!!!!

Camp Headcanons (Evan Hansen x Reader)

Anon. requested: "This could be hc or a fic but reader and Evan go to a wilderness camp (trees!!) (they don't know that the other is going) they end up thinking Evans name is a girls name (like evana or something like that idk) and you get put in a cabin together (like each cabin has two people or something ) and it's too late to change so you spend the summer basically living together and find out you actually really like each other maybe smut idk" THIS IS REALLY LONG SORRY I liked this a lot!!! So here's my first headcanon feel free to request more!!! *fem!reader btw Warnings: smut smut smUT SMUT •••• -Heidi probably saw the camp on Facebook and signed Evan up bc "you need to get out of the house" and "you'll like it look at all the nature!! Trees!!!" -hes low key hype bc there's so many new trees!! he's only seen pictures of them!!! now he'll get to go and see them irl!! -but also high key anxious™ because he knows he'll have to interact with all new people -and he's not all excited about having to share cabins with people but hey at least it's boys with boys and girls with girls, right? (wrONG) -you're going bc you wanted a change of scenery -you're v outdoorsy and have unfortunately already seen everything to see in your town nature wise, and even been on hikes and walks outside your town. -you saw the camp and were like "why not, new people, new scenery" -you and Evan go to the same school btw you know each other but don't talk. You've seen him around and smile at him in hallways and class and such but it's just bc you're nice. -usually he tries to smile back but just averts his eyes and walks -you're just so nice to him?? and he doesn't understand but he definitely has a low key crush on you -like you know what I mean he isn't pining after you very much but he low key would date you and wants to ask you out but he's so anxious and you're so pretty? -you get to the camp first and go to information station and get ur cabin # and roomie name -it says Evana Hansen (eh-vawn-uh) -"wow what a cool name hehe that sounds a lot like that Evan kid at school wonder if they're related" -"wow that would suck if they are why would you name your kids so closely" ((side note fun fact my friends Mom almost named her and her twin Alexander and Alexandria yikes)) -so you go to the cabin and choose a bed and start putting some clothes in the dresser and closet on that side of the cabin -door opens, you turn around to greet evana -ur met with a very red, shocked, Evan -"oh, hey? I think you have the wrong cabin, sorry?" -"n-no so-orry they, uh, they had my n-name as E-evana? A-and though I-I-I was a girl I g-guess, sorry" -"oh, haha, that sucks. Well, hey roomie, I'm y/n" -hes just so shook bc you're not like freaking out?? He thought you'd say he was a creep and that he probably hoped they'd think he was a girl and put him in a cabin with a girl or something -but you're so nice to him and you introduce himself and then the whole "I know" scene happens" -"you know?" "Yeah well I've just seen you in science class and you know a lot about nature and trees and stuff and I just really like trees" or something along those lines -you ask him his favorite tree and he's so shocked bc!! That's like such a weird thing for someone to have and you actually thought he might have a fav tree!! And he does!! -you guys talk for a while about trees and nature in general until it's time for dinner and then he's all nervous about it -so he's definitely fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and you notice and recognize his tick and carefully take his hand in yours -he jumps a bit and at first you're like "ah shit sorry I should've asked you just looked nervous i was trying to help calm you" -and he just kinda stutters that is okay but he's blushing so much -so for the next couple weeks of camp you guys have this best friends relationship and talk and hang out even when you don't have to and stay up late talking together -and then there's a few movie events at camp where you can lay out a blanket on the lawn and watch horror movies (mostly cabin in the woods type bc teenagers are fucking masochists) on a big screen -you love horror movies and were hype to go and Evan is like meh not so much but he's still gonna go he's just gonna probably cry a lil bit -but he ends up getting the courage to ask you out to go -"do y-you maybe wanna, go to th-th-that, uh, that horror m-movie, uh, to-together? I mean I guess we're already going together but like together together like as a d-date" he speaks hella fast and ur just -"Evan, honey, calm down, yes I'd love to go on a date with you" and he's just a happy blushing mess -you kiss his cheek and go out to the dining hall and he blushes again -he doesn't know you heard him go "yES!" when you left but you did and giggle until he catches up to you. -low key holding hands under the table from now on -so Evans a nervous wreck during the movie bc it's scary and creepy -and it's Friday the 13th so he's all kinda of freaking out bc there's a big lake near the camp you're at -(you notice he tries to stay far from the lake there ever since y'all watched the movie) -you see this and stroke your thumb on his hand -jump scares definitely scare and make him jump and he squeezes your hand a bit each time so you just lay your head on his shoulder and kiss his cheek every once in a while -he's hella blushy at the nude scenes -but y'all survive the movie and hold hands walking back to the cabin -and you get there and he's still hella freaked out so when you come out of the bathroom after putting in pajamas you see him sitting on his bed fidgeting and sit next to him and just hug him -after a few minutes you get up to go to your own bed and he just holds on -"p-please don't l-leave" -so you cuddle all night and it's kinda awkward and clumsy but it's still so warming and comforting -you guys keep going to some of the movies but none of the really creepy cabin in the woods ones (no matter how much you want to) -you take the time that almost all of camp is at movies to go on cute little dates and walks together and you just talk and maybe make out a little (you guys had your first kiss the morning after that first movie and like two weeks later he got comfortable enough to do some light making out) -and then sometime a month and a half after y'all do the nastayyyy -okay but they're playing Nightmare On Elm Street and you both decided the last thing Evan needs is to be afraid to sleep so you guys definitely skip this one. -You chill out at the cabin instead and just talk and cuddle -you guys kiss and start to make out -you were both sitting on his bed (which is both of yours now lets be real yall fall asleep cuddling there like every night) at first but after like five minutes you're straddling him and sitting in his lap with your arms around his neck loosely. -you can definitely feel the tent in his pants get bigger after you've been sitting in his lap for a while and moved a bit to adjust your position and pull back -"o-oh go-od i-I'm sorry I-I get it I-if y-you wanna dump m-me and g-get a n-new cabin n-now" -"Evan it's fine... do you want me to, maybe, help you out?" ;)) -"oh, uh, y-yeah, I-if you want though" -so you go back to making out and slowly make your way to his jawline and neck and start with kissing lightly but after a moment you're giving him hickeys around the neckline of his t-shirt. -he just mOANS but he's so embarrassed by it and blushes -he's rolling and unrolling the hem of your shirt now and you pull back and put your hands on It like you're gonna take it off -you look at him like 'is this okay?' And he just nods (a little excitedly and it's just so cute' -so you slowly take your shirt off and fling it onto your bed and he just doesn't know what to do so you slowly take his hands, again checking to make sure it's okay, and direct them to your chest. -at first they just sit there but eventually he starts to slowly massage them -you bite your lip and ur slightly holding back a moan but also wishing he would pick up the pace a bit -you reach for his shirt and he tenses but give you the okay and you take it off and fling it to yours -your hands instantly rest on his chest and you're just shook because he seems like he'd be a baby and have like no hair but he's got a hella hairy chest -and it def turns you on a bit more -after some more making out he eventually lets his hands travel to your back and he fumbles with the clip but gets your bra off pretty fast -Youre hella impressed like that was good for his first time -he kisses your lips and slowly and hesitantly travels down to kiss your jaw and then collarbone and then the top of your breast -he leaves a hickey there and you just let out a moan and man that turns him on -this boy definitely could get off to your pleasure and moans -after a while you stand to take off your shorts and he slips his off too real quick -you push him to lay back on the bed and climb on top and straddle him again -you grind down a bit and he lets out a groan and it's so deep and turns you tf on -you lean down and kiss his Adam's apple and then down his neck and leave more hickeys on his his collarbone and he moans and rests his hands on your waist -he's rubbing the fabric of your panties between his thumb and finger and you can tell he's low key itching to get it off so you stand up to do so and he has this look of realization -"uh, do you have a condom?" -at first you're like shit and upset but remember you have a few still in your backpack - thank god ou never empty the small pockets and you brought this bag -hes so relieved and watches as you take your panties off and walk over and slowly pull his boxers down -hes leaning against his elbows (and looks hella hot with the amount of hickeys and his swollen lips and bare chest) and blushes when his member springs free -youre kinda rushing and rip the condom open and quickly put it on his cock and he's just biting his lip -"have you ever done this before?" "N-no, sorry, I-is that a problem?" "No, it's fine, babe, I'm just gonna take the lead" -climbing on top again you give him a gentle kiss and sit up, slowly lowering yourself onto him -he suppressed a moan and you bite your lip, making sure he's okay before you start riding him -hes a groaning mess and he slowly stars to thrust up every time you slam down onto him -your hands travel to his hair and you lace your fingers through it -he definitely finds this hot and has a kink like this, not necessarily hair pulling but just running fingers through his hair -your eyes are closed so you don't notice his hands move to rest on your waist until they're there and then his thumb is at your core -you shudder a bit at the contact and he slowly starts to rubs your clit a bit and you moan so loud -you both come within a minute after that and when your done you tie up and throw the condom away and cuddle -after putting on underwear at least because you both agree sheets and blankets on your dick/vagina is hella weird feeling -needless to say you both are very glad you came to camp :) ;) -youre both glad you came to camp because you both came at camp ((BRB DELETING MY BLOG IM SORRY FOR THAT))