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kittyhui · 4 months

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ur sk drabble wow 😵‍💫😵‍💫 if it’s okay could i please req a hard dom!kwan drabble or fic where ur at a restaurant with him and get needy when he innocently puts his hand on ur thigh under the table?

when he realises ur wet and needy from being teased in public he takes u home and fills u up in front of a big open window. making sure everyone can see and hear u moaning and being stuffed with his cum. he’s so possessive he loves keeping u stuffed with his cum and watching it leak out slowly, pushing it back in when it does….

god 😵‍💫😵‍💫 just thinking about that makes me dizzy. seungkwan would be such a mean dom idc what people say.

meandom!seungkwan x fem!reader

(a/n seungkwan has an big ass oppa kink LOL)

“as i was saying before Kwon Soonyoung rudely interrupted, he just didnt have the……..” you couldn’t even hear the rest what your boyfriend had to say; you were too distracted. his big hand had found his way onto your thigh as he got wrapped up in the conversation he was currently having with his members. the touch was 100% innocent on his side: just supposed to be a confirmation that he remembered you were there, but it wasn’t to you.

you’d been needing him since you saw him getting ready for the dinner. seungkwan in a suit was definitely a sight that made you hot and bothered, you just couldn’t look away. you wanted to ask him to just stay home and fuck you but you knew its been a while since his members hung out and you didnt want to ruin that. but his hand on you right now… it was making this hard. it was moving up and down your thigh, not even getting close to your clothed heat but you felt yourself getting wetter by the minute. you rest your head on his shoulder trying to get a hold of your emotions. he looks down at you with a look asking ‘are you okay?’, patting your thigh again causing you to press them together.

“can we go home?” you whisper into his ear with desperation. he raises an eyebrow at you.

“just one more hour. okay, baby?” he rubs your thigh in comfort, a whine bubbling in your throat. “rest on my shoulder if you’re tired.”

you can’t hold it in anymore, letting out a quiet whine that only the two of you could hear, “oppa, please. wanna go home.” you can feel his hand tightening around your thigh and his eyes darkening at the name you had called him. months into your relationship you found out about seungkwan’s not so subtle oppa kink and of course, you used that against him at any chance. but tonight, it was unintentional; you just needed him so badly….

you gasp at his sudden action, standing up abruptly announcing that the two of you had to go home, putting cash on the table for your part of the bill and dragging you out of the restaurant and into his car.

it’s quiet the rest of the way back to your shared apartment; your lover’s jaw clenched and his knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. the moment you close the door to your apartment, he’s on you.

“can’t even last a three hour dinner? you’re that much of needy baby?” you moan at his words, wrapping a leg around his hip and letting him bring you to the bedroom.

“do you even deserve to be fucked like a good girl? you haven’t been very good today?” he scoffs as you whine for him, bringing you over to the huge window at the edge of your bedroom, “gonna fuck you right here” he mutter into your ear, “gonna let everyone know how fucking slutty you are, baby.” he kisses you hard, making you back up into the glass, his hand stabilizing you movements.

“oppa, please.. need you- need your cock.” you moan into his mouth, his hand digging into your hip. not wanting to waste anymore time, he flips the skirt you’re wearing up and practically tears your panties off, inducing a choked moan from you. his own pants and boxers are soon off aswell as he slowly plays with your sopping cunt, cries coming from your whiny mouth.

“wan’ you to turn around for me, baby. want you to see the people walk by and see you. see your slutty body. that’s what you need right? need a audience? i bet you do.” he groans into your neck, turning you to face the window. you can see the street and sidewalk underneath you; wondering if anyone could see your tear streaked face from all the way down there. you could barely even think before your oppa’s cock was inside you.

“fuck- kwannie-“ you try to find purchase on the glass to no avail, seungkwan pushing you up harder against it as he pulls out and pushes in deeper

“not my name, baby” he groans, kissing your nape, sucking on the skin before thrusting in again. “so. fucking. good. your desperate little hole was made for me, huh?”

“fuck- yes, yes, oppa! it was made for you! only for you!” you clench around him, sobs falling from your mouth at the intensity. you thought about being seen by somebody; what they would think; what they would do. the thoughts of being watched turn you on even more, clenching around kwan even more, feeling your release coming just moments away. “gonna… cum”

“not yet baby.” he moans at your tightness, feeling himself about the burst aswell, “gonna cum in you, okay? gonna fill you up, nice and good. does that sound good, baby?” you moan incoherently at him telling him you were out of it. kwan thrust into you hard and deep with a high moan, releasing his load into you. “cum for me, baby” he sighs, feeling your on command release on his cock moments later.

“kwannie..” you mutter, legs buckling at the intensity. he pulls out of you and lifts you onto your shared bed, kissing you softly.

“so good for me, my love.” he looks at your ruined cunt again, humming in pride, before stuffing you full of him again. you whine at the overstimulation, hand pawing at his chest and shoulders. “sorry, baby. didnt want it to go to waste. wan’ you to be nice and full.” he smiles at you, and you know in that moment, that you’re his. only his.

—————

that was lowkey bad imo, but i hope you like it! tysm for the love hehe <3

#seventeen #seungkwan smut #seungkwan x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen drabbles #seventeen smut #seungkwan is so mean i cant

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atlasmarzz · 11 months

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..heey.... so funny story this is all shit and giggles its not supposed to be good. my friends and i have a server on discord dedicated to talking and gushing about leon. we were talking and naturally came up with the scenario? idk i wantes to write something so happy first post on this app! its also REALLY long i got so distracted and wanted a whole ass story.

"he is so lana del rey" (ABSOLUTELY RANCID GRAMMAR WARNING)

NSFW warning! read at your own risk? uuhh, leon eats you out, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), riding, praise kink?

you stood at the stove in the kitchen Leon and yourself shared. faint music playing in the background as you stirred the pasta that was currently boiling. at the moment, leon should be driving home from a tiring mission in the city today, what better thing to do than treat him with dinner?

as if your thoughts were the cue to the world, the familiar sound of a black jeeps' tires rolled into the drive way. the excitement of seeing your fiancé after a long day bubbled into your chest. you untied the apron that protected your clothes and hung it up, waiting patiently for the door to open.

the door handle wiggled slightly at the sound of keys attempting to unlock it. as soon as the click was heard, so was the creek of it swinging open. an extremely tired leon came slowly walking in, shutting the door behind him.

he was silent as he removed his work shoes and bomber jacket, sighing with content from finally being home. he stretched his muscles softly, trying not to cause pain. the smell of the pasta roamed the air.

"im home, love" he called out as his feet crept towards the smell.

"in the kitchen!" you yelled back, adding the sauce into the drained noodles.

your eyes were focused on the food infront of you, so you hadnt noticed leon coming up behind you until his hands snaked around your waist. his head rested on your shoulder as he spoke quietly.

"it smells nice," your spine tingled from his touch and voice, but you had smiled none the less, "i missed you today." he spoke again, leaving a light kiss on your shoulder.

"i missed you even more," you reply, spinning around in his grasp and wrapping your hands around his neck.

you leaned up and connected your guys lips quickly. when you pulled back, he had a small smile dancing on his features and his eyes were dull in the light. he pulled you closer into a hug, holding your body like it was glass.

"i dont think thats possible" he retorted, resting his head on yours as he rubbed small circles into your lower back.

you laughed lightly, trying to pry from his grip, "whatever helps you sleep at night, kennedy" you teased, turning around to continue cooking.

he rubbed his face and backed away to let me cook, "im gonna go shower, that mission was rough" he muttered the last part and you frowned lightly, "feel free to join" he finished as he walked up the stairs, leaving your face red.

he was such a god awful tease to you and he knew how riled up you got about it. you shook your head free of lewd thoughts and finished the pasta. you grabbed two plates from the cupboard above and plated it neatly, setting it on the counter, hoping it would cool in the time he showered.

over time, the steam from the pasta stopped and leon came down the stairs in a black tshirt and grey sweatpants. he knew exactly what he was doing to you when he wore them.

"you didnt have to, love" he said, kissing your head softly before grabbing a fork and digging in.

"well, you always work so hard, its the bare minimum to just cook you food" you shrug, taking a bite as well.

he chewed quickly and spoke again, "its delicious too, im surprised you didnt light the house on fire" he laughed before taking another bite.

"hey!" you shouted, shoving his shoulder playfully, "guess i wont cook for you anymore" you scoffed, rolling your eyes and twirling pasta around your fork.

"im teasing you, you know" he spoke with pasta in his mouth, smiling slightly.

"if you keep talking with food in your mouth, you can return the engagement rings" you retort, waving you fork at him and finishing your plate.

you ran the plate under warm water and set it delicately in the dishwasher. drying your hands with a towel, you looked up at leon with a cock eyebrow and pursed lips

"you love me too much" he said smoothly as he rinsed his plate and set it next to yours.

he stood infront of you and mirrored the position, clearly mocking you. you rolled yours eyes again and huffed out

"i hate you" you finally blurted, but he knew you meant nothing of those words

without responding, he lifted you and threw your body over his shoulder playfully, "mhm, like youll be saying that in about.. 30 minutes" he tilted his head in estimation.

"leon scott kennedy! put me down you-" you thrashed, but his grip on your back only tighten as laughter filled the air. you decided to give up, knowing where this was going anyways.

he used his free hand to open the door to your shared bedroom and closed it with his foot. he gently dropped you onto the freshly made comforter and leaned down to kiss me.

the kiss was light on your lips, but heavy in emotion. he broke it slightly, supporting his body on his forearms that trapped your head. he kissed the corner of your mouth and trailed them from your cheek, to jaw, and to your neck.

you tilted your head up and back into the blanket, giving him better access to leave red and purple marks. a ligjt gasp left your mouth as you tangled your fingers within his sandy blonde hair when he reached your sensetive spot, just like he always does. you had felt his lips curl into a smile as he continued to kiss and lightly bite the same area.

"leon- stop that-" you breathed out, hands going to grip at his biceps and push him back.

he leaned up to get a better look at your face, reaching up to remove hair from your view, "hm? you know.. your body talks more than your mouth." he whispered, his hands riding up your waist underneath your shirt, his cold hands makimg contact with warm skin, making you jolt.

you turned your head away in to sheets, trying to hide the embarrassment just because you know hes right. your thighs were pressed together to attempt at any type of friction due to lack of attention.

he noticed this action right away, his hands resting on your waist again, "see? arent i always right?" he asked lowly, his hands coming down to lift the shirt over your head.

he leaned down again and left light kisses and bites on your collarbone, trailing down to your chest, and down to your stomach. you opened your mouth the protest but no words came out. he was now knealing on the floor infront of your laying figure on the bed.

your hands came up to unclip the bra you had been wearing since leon skipped right past it. you had sucked a breath in as your chest had been hit with the cold atmosphere of the room. you looked down at leon as his eyes were glossed over with hunger.

his index fingers hooked the band of your shorts and panties. he looked up at you for the go ahead and you nodded, slammimg your head back into the bed as he slid them down to the floor, disregaurding them somewhere in the room.

"i thought you said you hated me?" he asked as he used his hands to spread your thighs apart, his breath hitting your soaking cunt.

"leon please dont-" you reached down and tugged on his hair, eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment.

"dont what, bunny? use your words now" he said, looking back up at your pathetic face.

"dont fucking tease-" you manage to stutter out, trying to lift your hips away from him.

he used his arms to pry your legs open and his hands to keep your hips down, completely restricting from resistance. he began leaving light kissed on your lower left thigh, working his way up but skipping over where it needed him most and going to your right thigh, repeating the same actions.

you whined out, "leon just- please" you begged, tugging at his damp hair again.

"well, considering you asked so nicely" he gave in, leaning in to kiss the top of your pelvis.

he dove his tongue out, flattening it against your clit and then harshly flicking his tongue around. he latched his lips around it, sucking like he would never get the chance again. he removed one hand off your hips and used it to prod at your soaked hole.

"l..leon! oh.. mph!" you gasp out, hips bucking at the feeling of his mouth working you to oblivion.

"hmm?" he asked, still having his lips connected to the bundle of nerves he was toying with, the vibration of his words sending a shockwave through your body.

without warning, he plunged his middle finger into your sopping arousal, making you let out an audible moan. his finger worked back and forth, hitting that spongey spot over and over again as his tongue sucked and lapped at your clit. he added his ring finger now, stretching your hole out and doubling the pleasuring spot he hit.

the coil in your abdomen only grew tighter the more and more he worked at you, "fuck leon- im gonna-" you squeeked out, arching your back as your thighs shook slightly.

he pulled his head back to speak, "go ahead, bunny" he encouraged, letting you release onto his fingers.

your hole clenched around his digets as your orgasm hit like a rock, leaving you breathless and leons chin covered in saliva and the wetness of your core.

he removed his fingers slowly, getting back up to kiss you. you tasted yourself on his tongue as he dominated your mouth again. he wiped his fingers onto the blanket before leaning up and removing his own shirt.

"are you alright, love?" he asked sweetly, towering over you and kissing your forehead.

you nodded slowly, trying to regulate your breathing from your high. you opened your eyes to meet his loving gaze, his slightly dried hair dipping infront of his face as he looked down at you. "im alright" i whisper, finally getting your voice back.

he only smiled before latching his lips back to yours, pulling his sweats and boxers down in one swift motion. he kicked them somewhere with your discarded clothes and stood between your legs. he broke the kiss, a string of saliva connecting it still as he went to wipe it away with his thumb. he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing your hips and pulling you up with him.

"youre being so good for me tonight, yeah? wanna be even prettier and show me how much you want this?" he muttered into your ear, helping you situate each leg around his own.

your sensetive cunt hovered over his hard on. your eyes were hazy as you looked almost down at him. you nodded and used your hand to guide his cock under your entrance. once you deemed it possible, you slowly sunk down onto him, taking in his length bit by bit. you dropped your head into the crook of his neck as you whimpered incoherent sentences.

his hands drew small circles into your back, his breath hitching as your pussy wrapped tightly around his shaft, sinking painfully slow, but he had to let you adjust. "its okay, love, take your time" he whispered, kissing the side of your head. his hands made their way down to your hips to help you.

after a moment you decided to slam your entire body down on him, "fuck! mm leon!" you moaned out, biting his shoulder as your nails clawed at his back.

he lifted his head, opening his mouth in a silent groan. "fuck, bunny, you take me s'fucking good" he muttered, gripping the flesh of your hips harshly.

you got the confidence to start rolling your hips back and forth, picking up the pace and building a momentum that felt right. you shoved your face into his neck again to prevent yourself from screaming out. "mph- so fucking full le- mmph!" you cried, working even faster.

he mumbled jabbled words of praise, his hands guiding your movements for support. he felt your nails dig into the muscles of his shoulders, creating vial red scratches along the surface. he didnt mind, he wore them so proudly whenever he did anything shirtless. he felt his release approaching as your pussy clenched down on him with every movement. "just like that my love- fuck" he breathed out

your words became nothing but begs and pleads for the band to snap in your core. your movements became faster but sloppier, you would do anything to finish at this moment, but you needed more. you lifted your head to look at leon in this moment, his hair tousled and sweat lining his forehead.

you pressed your forehead to his, "m fuck leon im gonna- so close" you muttered as leon reached every sensetive spot inside of you.

"me too- gonna come soon bunny-" he whispered, trapping your lips in a wet opened mouth kiss.

with a few more finally rolls of your hips, your band snapped again and you yelped out, "fuck! leon- i-" you said, your gushing cunt squeezing tight around him.

"i know, love, i know" he muttered, releasing himself into you, letting your head fall onto his shoulder and pant out, too tired to get off of him, "lets get you to bed, hm?" he offered, lifting you off of his cock, watching his release leak out of you. he layed you down softly and got up, grabbing a towel and cleaning you up.

he pulled his own sweat back on before pulling your panties back up and throwing his black tshirt over your head. you felt half asleep when he picked you up and slid under the covers with you his arms. he wrapped his arm around your waist and used the other one to prop his head up, watching over your sleepy figure.

"i love you leon" you mutter, your eyes falling closed and putting you to sleep.

"told you so" he said triumphantly and closing his own eyes, letting his own sleep find him, "love you too, bunny" he whispered with a kiss on the back of your head.

you both fell asleep, his arms holding you like you were glass

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #what a hunk #what am i doin with my life #leon kennedy smut #this is a cry for help #send help

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inconmess · 11 months

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29. "I broke my hand" for Laudna

OK. Ok... the prompt... I hope you don't mind if it is a 5 times 1 kinda situation! Kinda coincides with my HC of Laudna even in her younger days didn't register pain all that well so...

Five times Laudna didn't realise she had broken her hand and the one time she does it on purpose.

1. Matilda

She raced up to the front of her little home, out of breath with a big smile one her face as she held out a basket of multiple fruits.

"Mama! Can we make pie today?"

"I am not so sure, dear." she said absentmindedly as she folded the clothes that had been hung out to dry.

"But we have got lovely fruits and you said we can make pie when we got fruits!"

"Yeah, they do look lovely... Matilda, why is your hand swelling?" she asked, immediately crouching down to get a better look at the hand.

"Yeah, I fell off a tree when I was trying to pick up fruits? It didn't really hurt though. Is it broken?"

Her mother looked at the bent hand once more before looking back at her in a shielded panic. "You don't feel the pain?"

"I mean, it tickles but it is not aching. Andy complained the last time his hand went like this though. He was just being silly I suppose."

"Yeah, maybe." her mother gave her a weak smile. "You know what? Why don't we take care of this and I make you some fruit jam for your toast. And the next time your father gets home some flour, we can make the pie."

"ALRIGHT!"

2. The Briarwoods

Maybe she should've refused to go to the dinner party. If this is how rich people parties went, she didn't want to go to one anymore. If she could ever go to one in the first place that is...

"Doesn't it pain?" A fellow prisoner asked her out of the blue as he nudged her.

"What pain?"

"Your hand. It's broken."

"Oh... It's broken is it?"

In all honesty, it is not her fault she didnt know that her hand was broken in this instance. It was tied behind her back after all! It wasn't like she could see that it was broken? At least not until one of her fellow prisoner nudged at her and pointed it out.

"You don't feel it?"

"Not really, no. Maybe it hasn't kicked in yet."

"DUDE! It has been that way since you were thrown in here hours ago!"

She tried to glance back at it and... oh. It indeed was broken where the guards had tied the rope.

"Maybe the guards tied the rope up too tight?"

"No shit."

3. Roaming

"You saved me from the wolves!" the little girl beamed in joy.

"I... suppose I did do that, didn't I?"

"But your hand is broken" she immediately pouted.

"I suppose it is, isn't it?" Laudna pretended to consider her dislocated wrist for a moment before looking back down at the girl. "Want to see something interesting?"

"Oh yes!"

"I am going to fix this in no time, right in front of your eyes."

"Oh! I've seen my mama do it a lot! Can I do it on you?"

"You know how to set dislocated wrists?"

"Oh yeah! Mama used to treat other people when they are sick and some of them came with funny bones so she would help them set it right. Though you aren't shouting like they do..."

"Do they shout like this?" she asked in a high pitched voice, changing the pitch of her tone every few seconds, causing the girl to giggle.

"Want me to set it for you?"

"Yes, sure!"

4. Imogen

"Laudna! Laudna! Laudna!?"

"What is it, Imogen? It is too early to wake up..." she asked groggily, trying to pull Imogen back to bed

"I'm so sorry!" the panic and whimper cut through her sleepiness as she got up.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I don't know! One minute I am tossing and the next I hear a crack and your hand is at a weird angle! I think I broke it!" she panicked. "And we don't know any healers nearby!"

"My hand is broken?" Laudna asked as she inspected the hand in question closer. "More like dislocated. I'll be fine." she dismissed.

"What do you mean you'll be fine?"

"I'll be fine just like that. See?" she asked and quickly set the hand back into place. "That's all. I will just need to wrap a cloth around it and I'll be fine."

Imogen screamed and backed away two steps before coming back to her. "How are you not..."

"Panicking? In pain? Treating this like it is... normal?"

"Yeah, people's thoughts are usually loud when something like this happens but yours was just... quiet. Eerily quiet.

"When you go through the things I went though, you start feeling less of it.

5. Bells Hells

"Guys? I think I broke my hand?" Laudna shouted, waving it as the hand flopped around.

"Then don't move it around all that much!" Ashton shouted as he hit another wolf.

"How the hell did you break it from afar?" Chetney asked. "You were up a tree!"

"I fell." Laudna deadpanned as she tried to set it back.

"You do realise it is broken and not dislocated, right?"

"Eh, both are the same. Can't feel either much anyway. Probably until the adrenaline wears off, I suppose. I don't know why it always keeps paining after you guys brought me back to life..."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, I never used to feel pain when I broke my hand before. And I used to break it a lot at that time. Or people broke it. Either way."

"And now you feel pain?" FCG asked as his hand lit up, a healing spell ready on his lips.

"Umm... Not really? Like a little bit, I suppose but everything kind of aches after being dead and brought back alive twice, to be honest so I am unsure what is the cause of this... pain."

"Well, at least you can identify that you have a broken and dislocated body part easier now I suppose. It is a good thing, right?"

"I hope so..."

"Ashton, break my hand."

"Why do I have to break your hand? Laudna, what are you up to?"

"You want someone to go see the cleric, right?"

"Yeah..."

"And I don't feel much pain when things are broken in my body so I should be the one to do it."

"Doesn't mean I have to break your hand!"

"Look, the reason I am asking you and not the others is because you know when something needs to be done, you will do it no matter the cost. And the rest aren't hurt and I don't want anyone bleeding just because we want to see a 'difficult to see' cleric."

"I can simply walk in, in that case. Any cleric is going to be interested in this shit." he said, knocking on the glass on his head.

"Nope. I am going in and you aren't going to stop me. Break my hand, Ash."

#critical role #laudna #ask answered #5 times 1 #ashton greymoore #imogen

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eddiiiieeee · 6 months

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currently me and my ex (lets call him Eddie cuz i dunno what else to name him) that i mentioned are friends. but ive recently started dating this great guy (lets call him Saul (he's a big rock fan and adores Slash like me so) yk) anyway, Eddie disappeared for a good week claiming he was busy studying for his IELTs and sleeping during our half term break from school, on a thursday i told him about this guy ive been talking to (Saul). and he asks how old he is and i tell him oh 17-18 and he freaks out saying thats a large age gap (literally not cuz im the same age) so he ends up dipping again once i change the convo and when we get back to school on monday he replies and hes being sort of weird and his texts seem aggressive and i told my friends and my music teacher (my music teachers like my school dad) and they all thought he was jealous because of it and i just felt so angry because i know for a fact i didnt give Eddie my everything, my feelings, myself, my soul, just for the second i even decide to move on and like someone else, he gets jealous, so i decided to wait for him to talk to me, he never did, not even in school he completely avoided me and pretended to not hear me and his excuse was hes been diagnosed with diabeties on top of his already diagnosed but not medicate for, BPD. and then my mom caught me sending my boyfriend, Saul, like semi nudes (like yk swimsuit type pics). and she found out about me and Eddie because she didnt know and so i had my friends log into my instagram account to monitor it for me cuz my mom had access to my phone and all my accounts and my laptop. she ended up ripping all my posters off my door, taking my guitars, pictures that were hung in my room and my record player. shes also before found out about my scars and smashed all my vinyls. so me and her are good now, we're mending our relationship but the only way ive been talking to Eddie is through email and ive been talking to Saul through a secret snap account because she blocked him everywhere and will open my phone sometimes to go through it. basically ive been stripped of everything, saul understood full heartedly when i told him i wont be sending anymore pictures. and it just made me breakdown, because he told me that it didnt matter to him because as long as he gets to talk to me, and hear my voice and see those small snaps i send him everyday then it doesnt matter to him. like he told me he loves me a few days ago. and yet when Eddie said it, he told me he meant it in a 'ur cool' way. like who the fuck does that! anyway todays my grandpas one year, today marks the day my grandpa died and i emotionally shut down. everytime i saw that ive broken down, it just means i freeze up and stop talking, last time i felt something that deep to cry again since my grandpa was when Eddie broke up with me. and its like what the fuck. there is a shit ton i havent mentioned here yet, but theyre very main key points to the eddie story im writing and so i wont mention them rn, but also a little reminder, the titles of the chapters are actually songs you should listen to while reading the chapter

#eddie munson × reader #80s aesthetic #animated gif #classic rock #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson #wayne munson #corroded coffin #robin buckley #stranger things s4 #guitar #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson × female reader #80s rock

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aj-theteenagecondition · 1 year

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ttc- chapter 2

today i got dressed after washing my face and shit, and i put on a yellow and black ditzy floral dress and a pair of tights. then i looked at myself in the mirror and thought: who the fuck even am i anymore. i decided that i didnt think that was a good way to feel when i got dressed so i changed. i dont understand what i want to wear vs. what the people around me want to where. during the pandemic i wore whatever i wanted, and my sense of fashion was completley my own, only altered by content i knowingly consumed. in 8th grade over zoom i wore a small collection of short, leg-alicious, forever 21 dresses. i stopped wearing the really tight one after i got cat called on the street, WITH MY MOM.

my friends and i hung out down town in my city. we hung out last night also, and i forgot how much talking i was capable of. i was reminded what good and excellent people they are and how much i love spending time with them. we had great conversation last night, i didnt want to leave. i feel like anytime i hang out with people i talk an impossible amount, it makes me feel terrible, accidently talking over people, always interupting, what a bitch i am. five hours of hanging out today really wore me down a bit. i was going to go home with one of them and just hang at their house, but the other two were leaving so i left too. we called another friend of ours, my personal favorite of the group. not that i want to choose favorites, but she's def my best friend. she didnt want to hang out today which sucks. i love her to death and honestly have a bit of a crush on her.

im hungry and lonely in my post hangout emotional crash. tomorrow hopefully im going thrifting with my older sister, unless she cancels on me (possible). i've got to go back to school on monday and i dont know what im going to do. logically its literally going to be fine, nothing to worry about, just keep up with assignments and grades, but also HOLY FUCKING SHIT how am i supposed to go back to that. im a girl scout and i probably should be starting my gold award (which terrifies me) and one art class left, and i agreed to join my friends club, and ap classes are so hard. last year jan and feb were the worst months of the year, and they might be again this year, but ill stick with it. i just feel like a bit of a burden to my friends to be going through things that i feel like theyre not really interested in hearing about, like theyre listening but only to let me finish talking, if that makes sense. and when i talk to much i dont even really feel like myself, i just get going.

#theteenagecondition #spilled thoughts #friendship #thrifting #mentalhealth #gender stuff

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yellowbentley · 1 year

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dont read this im not 15 anymore i shouldnt be doing this

my fucking god the guy i like makes me want to tear my hair out. we hung out on saturday n the feelings are reciprocated so we cuddled and kissed alot. aloooooooot and i was over the moon with that but i swear every 10 fucking minutes he was asking to touch my boobs. im not exagerating. he kept saying he wouldnt do anything i dont want to do and im sure he wouldnt hurt me anyway but dude still. what part of im not interested in that dont you understand

not even just that but a few times he was on top of me and he pinned my wrists above my head which i didnt really want already and ALSO he put a hand on my throat not squeezing but still there and i REALLY didnt want that this is the least of my concerns here. i didnt think he had it in him honestly hes the dorkiest looking motherfucker. i could snap him in half. anyway.

hes so painfully my type i want to scream. he has it all. why did i give him my number why did i let us be friends im ace why does my type have to include having a dirty mind. i hate it here

we couldnt find the tv remote at one point n he reached between my legs and told me to take it out n ive told him to stop making gross jokes where im the focus ive told him im uncomfortable and hes not funny and he doesnt care I KNOW ITS A RED FLAG I KNOW I KNOWWWWWWWWWWW OKAY but every single other fucking thing about him is so fckng endearing. hes gorgeous. hes a genius. he likes anime and spiderman. his laugh lights up a room. when he talks in hindi i cant stop myself from smiling. he bought me pocky. he sleeps on an air mattress. ive never seen him in anything other then a turtle neck. he likes fruity smelling soaps and candles, its the only luxury he allows himself. he has the coolest fucking glasses.

yesterday he asked if we could put a name to this, i couldnt get the right words out and ask him to be my boyfriend properly, half because im easily flustered because I Dont Do This amd half because i dont want him to be. im a coward and i run from my problems so last night after chewing on it for 2 hours i texted him saying basically that i really wanted to date and be official because i like his dumb ass but i also know we arent compatible and its better we stay as friends. which sucks. im a coward and deleted snap immediately after so i havent seen if he said anything. i missed talking to him today. i got used to texting him all day so fast. i miss good morning and good night texts. last time we didnt talk for a day he tried other methods and asked if i was ok n if it was his fault and like it is but it isnt dude its complicated i hate myself i hate myself soooooooooo bad. did i mention this was the day after he saw me kinda cry out of frustration and sadness and he said it was one of the worst things hes ever seen/felt 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

he already said that if we dated it wouldnt be forever. he wants to fuck eventually and he wants it to mean something and not be with a hooker (i dont know if ive said this but if i dated someone i'd be fine w them getting a lady for the night LMFAO) which is fine! hes a cishet guy thats his right to want. im just so mad because now we've kissed and we've made out and i remember what cuddles are like and im SO MAD. this is the most ive felt towards anyone in the 3+ years and i cant have it because of my stupid sexuality. i wish i had said no to hanging out. i wish i had self restraint. i wish i hadnt hugged him. if he asks to hang out again im gonna say no. i want to show off my books and coins and wrap ourselves in blankets hes so fucking warm-

god damnit. God Fucking Damnit im not a teenager anymore.

im not ashamed of being ace or whatever im proud of it I Am Just Me im just a person but god it makes me mad sometimes because ive missed out on people ive wanted before and i will again and to be entirely fucking honest i dont know if i ever will. i dont think its even worth it. the older i get the harder it will be to say im not interested because people will assume im either waiting til marriage or im a prude and it will be more common place because everything is only ever sex sex sex and im tired of it man.

im like 99% sure he told me to stop texting him because he wasjacking it yesterday. ye gods.

tldr im so mad i like him so much and i cant have him.

im going to fucking bed

#🍓🧜🏾‍♂️#adventures

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blonde-in-charge · 3 years

Text

Wildcard, Chapter Three

Words: 2.6k

Summary: Steve Rogers found you on the side of the road after a mission involving Hydra and convinced the Avengers to take you in. You have no name, no memories, and no idea of what you are capable of. All you know is that you are a super soldier with more hidden abilities than you care to admit. The first step to finding answers was to train you. Nobody, including you, knows what is up your sleeve.

Characters: Bucky x reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Random Hydra guy, Sam Wilson

Warnings: Mentions of blood/violence, brief unwanted touching, Cursing, Fluffy!Bucky, Flirting

Words: 2.6k

The table underneath you was frozen from the amount of stress you had been under. They just kept injecting things into you, hoping to get some kind of reaction from your body. You had stopped feeling the pain of the needle and experiments weeks ago, which just made everything worse for you in the long run. They were getting annoyed with the fact you had stopped reacting to whatever painful serum they had injected you with that day and it resulted in beating to get a reaction from you. You stared up at the cracked ceiling of your concrete room and counted each crack for the millionth time. You kept yourself company in your mind, getting lost in your thoughts to pass the time until your next beating. You shivered at the cold beneath you, the last serum made ice bleed from every one of your pores. You heard the shrill sound of the old iron door open from the side of the room, you didnt turn your head to see whoever came in anymore, they were all the same type of evil.

“Your wounds have healed very quickly, you are replicating the progress of our last soldier.” said the thick voice. You hated to think someone else had gone through this hell before you had. You wondered if they escaped or died before they moved onto you.

You felt a burn in the back of your throat, “What's on the menu today doc? Electro-therapy? Waterboarding? New superhuman power that causes injury to one of your minions?” The one fond memory in your head of this place, being your body set itself on fire as well as one of the more hostile minions of Hydra. You smirked fondly at the memory as the hydra doctor worked his way around you observing the healing process. Every wound that opened on your body disappeared within a couple of hours, which is apparently what they wanted.

“Nothing on the menu today, we are going to start to prepare you for the memory wipe.” Was all the man said and you felt your heart jump into your throat as the man chuckled, “You will do great things for us, American Girl.” You started pulling at your restraints for the first time in weeks, trying to fight your way off of the table once again. The man gave you a sickening chuckle while watching you struggle and you glared at him. He reached up to run a dirty hand slowly up your leg, “Such a pretty girl, such a shame you must-” He ended his sentence abruptly as you lit your body on fire, burning the man's flesh. You grinned at him as your body started to fizzle out. He held his burnt hand to his body and looked at you with rage, “You stupid slut.”

You continued to grin as he left the room, feeling somewhat accomplished. Your smile slowly faded as you thought back on the memories they would take from you. Y/N Y/L/N, you were a successful accountant in one of the most successful banks in Manhattan. You lived alone, you haven't spoken to your family since you lost your father. Your mom became an alcoholic after his death, the only thing you really regretted was leaving your little sister, Macy, behind. Your job would have already replaced you by now, and people would have stopped looking for you. You stopped fighting for an escape because you knew you had nothing to go back to.

You woke up slowly to the sound of soft snoring, your body tensed up, wondering who was in your bed. Then you realized this wasn't your bed when you looked up into the face of the sleeping soldier. Your body instantly relaxed as you lay your head back on his chest. His right arm was slung over your waist and his metal arm was holding your forearm against his stomach gently. You closed your eyes, replaying the events of the night before in your head. Hydra had come back for you, but for what reason? Then your eyes snapped open and you looked up at Bucky gently shaking him. He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at you, obviously confused about why he was holding you. Realization dawned on him and his eyes filled with concern, “You okay?”

“Y/L/N.” Was all you said to him as you continued to stare into his steel eyes.

“Who is that?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“I remembered my last name.” You said softly to him, “I remember my life before I was taken.”

He sat up quickly and looked into your eyes, “You remember now?” You nodded your head at him, unsure whether you should smile or cry. “Y/N, that's amazing.”

You looked away from him and sat back, “Is it?” you replied solemnly.

“Why wouldn't it be?” He tilted his head slightly, trying to read your thoughts. The sound of the door sliding open cut off your response as Steve came in. Steve stopped in the doorway and examined the scene in front of him. You were sitting to the side of Bucky, wearing his shirt with no pants on, with your legs strung across his thighs. Bucky had his metal hand resting against your calf and was leaning back against the headboard behind him. Bucky’s face turned a dark pink as he realized the situation before taking his hand off of your leg. You remained unphased as you looked over at Steve.

Steve watched you both and cleared his throat, “The safe house is all set up, can you both be ready by 0300?” You nodded at Steve, who glanced back at Bucky before leaving the room.

You both sat in silence for a moment before you crawled over bucky to the other side of the bed, his eyes perked up as he watched you unmoving, “Where are you going?”

“I have to pack my bag, don’t I?” You stood up and raised your arms above your head to stretch out your back.

Bucky started to climb out of the bed himself before he stood next to you, “I’ll go with you.” You laughed softly and chose to not object to his company. He followed you down the hallway to your room and you stopped in the doorway to survey the damage. Your bed hung off the side of the bed frame as if the mattress had been thrown. The drawers in your dresser were all thrown open and all of the clothes were spread around the room on the floor. You sighed quietly and started picking up articles of clothing. You searched around for the SHIELD duffle bag you had before shoving clothes into it. Bucky’s eyes raked across the room, he walked towards the bed and adjusted it to its correct position before picking up shirts and folding them neatly into the bed. You smiled slightly to yourself as you found a pair of leggings on the ground and started pulling them on and up over your thighs. You struggled slightly and then looked up to see Bucky staring at you.

He stilled, realizing he had been caught and looked down at the tee shirt in his hands, “Sorry, guess I got distracted.”

You laughed softly and patted him on the arm, “It's okay Buck, it's not like I don't stare at you sometimes.” You were unashamed of the confession. Sometimes while training you'll watch Bucky in the gym and sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll be able to see him lift his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face. You would never apologize for that.

Bucky looked utterly confused as you packed the last of your things and zipped up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder. He stood up with you and looked down at you. You weren't a short person, you were taller than most girls but still shorter than all of the male avengers so you barely had to crane your neck up at him. His steel blue eyes looked so much lighter in the moment. You turned away from him and started walking towards the door, looking back at him. “Ready?” You asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, go meet with Steve, let me grab my bag.” You nodded at Bucky as you walked into the living area, ignoring the shattered glass on the floor you followed the voices to the kitchen.

“So she just hopped up on this man's shoulders and took him down like that?” Sam snapped his fingers together to get the point across, “Did Natatsha teach her that?”

Tony shook his head and bit the fingernail of his thumb, replaying the 30 second hallway footage from the night before, “Natasha hasn't moved past the basics of fighting with her, we have been focusing on figuring out what she can do power wise.” Steve stood silently with the three, his arms crossed watching the looped video.

Sam shook his head at the screen, “This chick is a total wildcard.”

You dropped your bag on the ground behind them making them all turn around quickly. You stared at the projection in front of you, you barely recognized yourself. You have never been able to put Sam on his ass in the ring and now you're swinging your body weight around on some random guy? The temperature dropped a couple of degrees in the room as a result of your anxiety. The three men stared at you as you took a step back, you made eye contact with Steve, “Y/L/N.”

Steve looked confused, “What? Who’s name is that?”

“Mine.” You said quietly, “My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I had a dream about it. I know my name.”

You sat at the table along with Steve and Sam. You were staring off at a wall while shoveling cereal into your mouth. You had only been at the tower for about two weeks now and had a good routine with the two men in front of you. You still didn't have a name. You have been going by kid, kiddo, chick, and rescue. You have been searching your brain for a hint of what your name would be. You tried making up names but none of them suited you the way you wanted it to. You listened to the two men bicker over different work out strategies. You stared off at the wall and thought about how you planned on changing your hair color to maybe platinum blonde. You reached out to grab your glass off the table and grunted when it wouldn't budge. You looked up at the two men staring at you with wide eyes before following their gaze to your hand. The liquid in the glass was frozen solid and the glass stuck to the table in a block. You removed your hand and looked at your palm, which was tinted blue, “Well that's new.”

Sam tapped on your frozen glass, “Holy shit, Elsa.” You rolled your eyes and rubbed your hands together trying to maintain heat.

Steve watched you, “Has this ever happened before?”

You shook your head and reached out to grab your glass again. Your strength became too much and the frozen glass shattered in your hand. You remained still as Sam hopped up from the table.

“Jesus fucking christ, kid.” Sam started picking up the larger pieces of glass

“Language.” Steve went into the other room to retrieve a handheld vacuum

You looked down at your hand and saw little cuts leaking blood in the palm, today just wasn't your day. You stood up from the table and walked over to the sink, running your hand under the water. You were getting really sick of this superpower thing. You have broken so many things so far due to the super strength you can’t control. You sighed as you watched the small cuts on your hand knit themselves back together, you would never get used to that. On the brightside, it didn't hurt. You have not felt the pain of anything you have broken or ran into, the only pain you ever felt was the headache that never went away. You dried your hand off and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Sorry guys… Still getting used to,” You held up your hands, “this.”

Steve smiled knowingly, “It's okay, kid. I remember when I received my serum, it took a minute to adjust.”

You gave him a small smile, “Why do you guys keep calling me kid?”

Sam and Steve looked at each other. Sam was the one who spoke first, “You don't really have a name right now.”

“Oh it's Y/N.” You shrugged at the guys and returned to your seat at the table as they stared at you.

“Did that just come to you?” Steve asked while looking at your seated figure, “It kind of suits you.”

“I think it's my name? It just came to me at the sink and its the only name that doesnt make me want to kill myself.” You smiled as the two men started chuckling at you.

“I think I will stick to ridiculous nicknames if you don't mind.” Sam said, smiling at you and ruffling your hair.

Tony wasted no time typing your name into the database to pull up a missing persons profile. A photo was pulled up onto the hologram screen and you silently stared at it. It was you, well at least a version of you. You looked so young, your face was effortlessly smooth with a light layer of makeup, and your mouth was pulled in an easy grin. Your hair was pulled back in a sleek low ponytail and you were wearing a white collared shirt with a blazer layered over it. You started into your eyes on the projection, it felt like looking at someone else.

“You were an accountant? That's boring.” Sam started while eye the photo of you

Tony scanned the photo and then started typing something into the projection. An article pulled up next to the photo, “Y/N Y/L/N, missing for two years, stopped coming into work and her apartment was empty… blah blah blah.”

“Tony.” Steve warned, coming to put a hand on your shoulder. You looked back at him before shaking off his hand and picking up your bag.

“We should go, right?” You ignored the look Steve gave you before you walked to Bucky’s room, knocking on the mangled door

Bucky met you at the threshold of the door, sensing your discomfort, “You okay, doll?” He raised an eyebrow at you

You raised your own eyebrow, “Doll?” Heat rushed to Bucky's cheeks and you smirked at him, “Grab your bag Buck, it's time to go.” You winked at him and turned away to walk to the elevator door. You rested your nag on the ground as you waited for Steve and Bucky to join you. You leaned back against the wall and sighed loudly, your headache returning.

The two men walked together side by side to meet up with you. Steve pressed the elevator button and debriefed you both about the agents who would escort you to the safe house. You and Bucky both nodded in understanding before stepping onto the elevator. Steve made eye contact with you before the doors completely shut.

“Be safe, kiddo.” You smiled at his words as the doors shut completely.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x avenger!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #marvel imagine

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luxwritings · 3 years

Note

Okay so I sent in the request about their s/o getting hurt, sorry for being unspecific 😅. Could it be monster trio accidentally saying something that hurts their fem s/o then they realise that she’s ignoring them or they like catch her crying. Angsty to fluffy by the end if possible. Ty and sorry again x

No need to apologize! If I didn’t get clarification I would’ve wrote it as physically hurt. I’m really glad you sent another request because now I know I could write it the way you actually wanted me to:D

Monster trio saying something that hurts their s/o

Reader: fem

Zoro

Zoro would probably say something to you as a joke but comes off as serious, since sometimes its really hard to read his tone. An instance comes where he makes fun of you the exact way he does for Sanji and you are absolutely not having it. Your day was already not going well since you were already insecure about some stuff, and because of that you took Zoro’s messing with you as malicious intent. But, can you be blamed? It’s hard to tell, and was rude in the first place.

Pissed from his comments, you started to distance yourself a bit since it kind of bothered you that he didn’t really notice the weight of his words. Tired from the stressful day, you go into the birds nest for some time to yourself, not even noticing the tears that carelessly streamed down your face.

Zoros return to the nest startles you, and you quickly wipe your tears before he can say anything that could hurt your feelings anymore. He has a slightly tired look on his face, as always, but a bit more sincerity in his eyes.

“Were you crying?” he asks in a bit of a soft voice

You let out a bit of a soft sob “No.” You cover a bit of your face with your sleeve, lowkey accepting the fact that it’s hard to cover up crying so abruptly.

He took a seat next to your on the floor, staying silent for a little bit before trying to figure out what to say to you to make the tension relieve a bit. Zoro wasn’t visibly nervous, but he definitely was internally freaking out.

“Did you have a bad day?” he asks, in an even softer tone than before. You glance at him and nod in response.

“I didn’t like what you said.”

He responds almost instantly, “I know, I’m sorry.”

A pause of silence fills the room again until he continues, “I should’ve known better. Do you forgive me?”

It’s hard to bite back a smile when he talks to you like that. Sometimes you’re convinced that your boyfriend is seriously an airhead.

“Why would I forgive you so fast?” you ask, the last part of the sentence almost breaking into a laugh the moment you saw his neck hung down, seeming to be asleep. ‘That’s a good way to get out of confrontation, I guess’ you think to yourself.

You’re still a bit hurt, and you decided you’ll talk about it more the day after when things have relieved a bit. For now though, you cuddle up to Zoro on the birds nest floor and fall asleep with him. What an adorable idiot

Sanji

It would be so unintentional, oh my god. If it had to be something hurtful, in this case it would be more.. jealously based. After you began dating, Sanji doesn’t really pay as much attention as he used to to other women, yet particularly today, he was on your nerves. He compared you to another girl, putting you down in the process.

Sanji gets distracted quite easily, so he didn’t really see your reaction when he said it. You were thankful for that, and decided to storm off to your shared room where you can let out your feelings and cry

The tears felt like they were flowing endlessly, your head was so buried in your knees that Sanji’s sudden gentle touch on the top of your head startled you. You must’ve been so caught up in your sobbing that you didnt hear him come inside. You slowly bring your head up to meet his face above you, face flushed from crying.

His face is filled with so much concern and sadness when he looks at you, that he cant help but to kneel down next to you and bring you into a tight hug. You didn’t protest, deciding that he was probably really sorry and didn’t fully understand what he said meant to you. Unlike Zoro or Luffy, Sanji realizes what he did wrong the second he sees your reaction.

“I can never forgive myself for making you cry, [Name]-chwan. I’m so sorry”

You sob more into his shoulder, “Sanjiiiii” you drag out, and mumble “I hate you”

“I love you, darling”

A short moment of silent passes, “Did you mean it?”, you mutter, face still buried in his shoulder that still faintly smelled like cigarettes and cologne

“What I said? No! Of course not! I would never even think for a second that there’s a girl as amazing as you, [Name]-chwan”

You hum in response, deciding to hug him tighter. You’d let it slide this time.

Luffy

We all know Luffy has a tendency to be blunt, and you let it pass of course since it’s apart of him. Though, a time comes around where Luffy is so caught up in other things like helping nakamas, fighting, trying to become the pirate king that it feels like you’re totally being neglected for days. You understand hes busy, hes a captain with a high bounty after all. So, to spend easy time with him you offer to help him in some way, whether its fighting or just being by his side with whatever hes doing

For whatever reason, Luffy does not respond nicely to this, but doesn’t even realize the bluntness of it. Before you could even say anything back, hes already launching himself to go ask Sanji for food. You sigh in response and try to take it lightly. You knew Luffy’s nature to act this way but it was hard to not be hurt by his words nonetheless.

Your tears seem to flow without your permission, and you didn’t even notice you were crying until you heard Nami shuffle behind you, asking whats wrong. When you explained to her, she insisted that you confront Luffy nonetheless, even though you were almost sure there was no point to doing so.

You didn’t even have time to collect yourself before Luffy found you, your cheeks and eyes still puffy from your previous crying session. As he was about to speak, Nami slowly walked away to give you two alone time to talk.

“What’s wrong, [Name]? Why are you crying? Want me to make a funny face?”

Before you can even answer he’s stretching and pulling his face like crazy, putting it into knots, twisting it, and such. Oh, you’re mad at him but you definitely can’t resist smiling when he does those stupid things. Curse that rubber human

You collect yourself and finally speak, “Luffy. You said something today that was rude. That’s why I’m crying.”

“What? What did I say? When?!”, and you of course try to explain where and when in simple terms so he would remember

He laughs a bit as a reaction before continuing, “I didn’t mean it like that, [Name]! You’re super strong and cool, you can always help me out during adventures. That’s why you’re on the crew, right?”

You happily nod in response. “So we can hang out more now, right?” you ask, trying for some reassurance

“Of course!”

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frxggie · 3 years

Text

babysitting with bakugou!

Hi! My friend and @txdoroki requested this :D

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“Tch. What do you mean you got saddled with babysitting duty? We were supposed to hang out today.” an annoyed Bakugou snapped at you from over the phone.

“I’m sorry! Izuku was supposed to be babysitting her but something came up for him. Can’t you just help me or something? We don’t have to cancel.”

“Fine. Same time we agreed on?”

“Yeah. See you soon.”

You hung up on him and shook your head. Your boyfriend had never liked kids. You were annoyed that you had been roped into babysitting Eri but how could you say no? Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock at your dorm room door. You opened it to fins Aizawa and Eri standing there.

“Hi Y/n. Are you ready to babysit Eri?” he said, poking his head into your dorm to make sure that it was appropriate for Eri.

“Yeah! Come in.” you said, motioning them in.

Aizawa put a bag down on your bed.

“Everything Eri needs is gonna be in here. Be careful with her. If anything happens to her I won’t hesitate to expel you.”

“Yes sir.” you said, knowing full well he meant every word of what he just said.

“Any questions?” he asked.

“Yeah, is it alright if Katsuki comes over?”

“I don’t care as long as no one gets hurt.”

“Okay. Thank you!”

“Mhm. Bye.” And with that, he promptly left you and Eri alone in your dorm.

“Hi Y/n!” Eri smiled at you brightly.

“Hi Eri! What do you want to do first?”

“W-Well, I actually need some help with my homework. Can you help me with my homework?”

“Ye-”

You were cut off by the door opening and Bakugou walking in with his usual angry demeanor. But he was also holding 3 candy apples and had a large bad slung over his shoulder.

“Sorry I’m late. I had to run to the store to get these.” he said, handing one to Eri and one to you.

Eri gasped excitedly. “Thank you Bakugou!”

“Mhm.” he said, trying to hide a smile.

“Now how about that homework, Eri?” you said with a smile.

“Homework? Tch- that’s boring- I brought fun stuff.. kids like this stuff right?”

He pulled paints, paper, board games, building blocks, Uno cards, and playdough. Your floor was littered with kids toys, but Eri looked stoked.

I guess that homework can wait..

Eri took a small bite of her candy apple and pointed at the building blocks.

“Can we build towers with those?” she asked excitedly

“Yeah!” you said excitedly.

Bakugou took a massive bite of his candy apple, made a face at the sweetness of it, and picked up a block, getting that smile he got when he was feeling competitive.

“Let’s see who can make the tallest one- I’m gonna win for sure!” he said

“No fair Mister Bakugou, you’re the tallest!” Eri said, crossing her arms.

“Eri, we can team up and beat him- we won’t let him win!” you said, making the same competitive smile back at Bakugou- it was ON!

You cleared a space in the middle of your dorm and began to build a sturdy foundation for your tower, teaching Eri the secret to always beating Bakugou - be careful and observant- two things he never was in contests.

You looked over to see Bakugou, in his usual reckless manner, piling blocks carelessly on top of each other- his would surely fall soon!

You and Eri’s tower was getting tall- to the point where you couldn’t reach the top anymore. You lifted Eri onto your shoulders and began handing blocks up to her.

Pretty soon- all the blocks were gone- used up on you guys’ towers. The three of you all stood back to admire your work- you and Eri’s stacked neatly and Bakugou’s messy and wobbling. But you and Eri had won, fair and square.

“DANGIT! HOW DID A 7 YEAR OLD BEAT ME?” Explosions lit his hands and he punched through both towers.

Eri laughed, knowing this behavior was normal.

“You guys rigged it.. obviously.” he grumped.

“Oh c’mon Katsuki.. you know it’s just because we’re better than you at building towers.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” he picked up the pack of Uno cards. “I’ll win at this!”

You shuffled and dealt the cards. Bakugou, having a TERRIBLE poker face, scowled down at his cards. He had obviously gotten a bad deck.

After half an hour, Bakugou yelling at anyone who would change the color to something he didnt have or gave him any cards, and you and Eri giggling at how bad Bakugou lost, Eri placed her last card down.

“NO! SHE BEAT ME AGAIN?? YOU RIGGED THE DECK, Y/N!!”

“No I didn’t! You’re just bad at Uno.” you giggled.

“Shut up Y/n!” he said, crossing his arms.

“Oh Katsuki~ don’t be like that!” you said, giving him your best puppy dog eyes and kissing him on the cheek.

He blushed and looked away.

“FINE! H-How about we see who can make the best painting!”

Eri looked excited.

“I like to paint!! I always paint flowers for Dad!”

“Awesome! So who can make the best flowers!” you said with a smile.

You helped Eri get all the colors she needed and you all sat around the table, making your paintings.

An hour of intense painting, you all held up your paintings. Bakugou’s was BY FAR the ugliest. Your was the prettiest one.

Bakugou, seeing that he clearly lost- scowled.

“YOU TRACED SOMETHING!” he yelled, explosions lighting his hands.

“DID NOT!” you laughed.

Eri laughed too. “How would Miss Y/n have traced something! You’re silly Mister Bakugou!”

Bakugou smirked, showing his competitive smile again.

“I know what I can win at- PAINT FIGHT!”

He flung paint at you, getting red paint all in your hair.

“OH! YOU’RE ON!” You yelled, laughing.

“FUN!” yelled Eri, flinging blue paint at bakugou.

The three of you were dumping paint all over each other, laughing and screaming as the slimy colors would hit you.

“W-What the HELL is going on in here?” yelled a stern voice from behind you.

The three of you froze and slowly turned around to find Aizawa standing there with his arms crossed.

“Uh- painting...?” you said nervously.

“God dammit. Go get the cleaning supplies from the hall closet. I’ll be back in an hour and this better be clean. Come on Eri...” he sighed, pulling Eri out the door with him as she struggled to pull her backpack on.

He closed the door behind him and you and Bakugou paused before looking at each other, and then fell over in a fit of laughter.

After you two stopped laughing and stood up, you shared a long kiss, mixing all the paint colors on your faces.

Yeah, he’s my soulmate..

You two happily went to the hall closet and began cleaning up your mess.

No, neither of you were ever allowed to watch Eri unsupervised again.

#bakugou fluff #bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #eri #mha eri #b.favs

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nagito-kissmaeda · 3 years

Text

A Lapse In Judgement - Part 5

CHAPTER ONE: A Dangrous Present CHAPTER TWO: A Past Forgotten CHAPTER THREE: A Foreshadowing CHAPTER FOUR: One Possible Conclusion CHAPTER FIVE: Untethered

Komaeda Nagito x Ultimate Empath!Reader

Summary: Just a normal day at Hope's Peak Contains: she/her pronouns, gitches, blood and gore, rejection Read on AO3

“So. Are you doing it today?” Koizumi asks, giving you a knowing smirk from her desk. It is a good ten minutes into lunchtime and the afternoon sun is cascading in through the open window. It’s a beautiful day, and you would usually be outside if you didnt have more important matters to attend to.

You are halfway through sealing a very fancy envelope with a collection of decorative stickers, but you still manage to shoot Koizumi a glare. Pointedly staring at her left cheekbone instead of into her eyes.

She laughs, “hey, no need to get all feisty with me. I’ve just seen you toiling away at that letter for over a week now, I’m glad you’ve finally finished it.”

You hum, peeling a sunflower shaped sticker from a sticker sheet and affixing it over the back flap of the envelope, “I had a lot of things to say, and I’m not a very good writer.”

“You sure as hell aren’t!” Another voice scoffs from behind you, and you turn to see Saionji sitting on her desk, swinging her feet back and forth. She clears her throat, “An except: my cheeks burn, my stomach twists! ” Her interpretation of your work is offensively overacted, she clutches her chest and bats her eyes, “ When your eyes lock with mine my heart flutters, when your lips form the syllables of my name I-“

Koizumi throws a pencil at her, you are eternally grateful.

“You memorised it?” You hiss, clutching the envelope protectively

“Yeah, duh.” Saionji rolls her eyes, “I read it over your shoulder like three days ago, it was so funny I had to write it down.” She smirks, “I already showed it to a buncha people.”

“Ugh, what the hell , Saionji?” You exclaim, pressing more stickers to the front of the envelope as angrily as someone can manage, “it’s very personal!”

Koizumi sighs, “yeah Hiyoko. That was pretty insensitive of you.”

You hear the beginnings of some classic Saionji fake tears, but force yourself to ignore it. Popping the cap off of a sharpie and inking a name on the front of your envelope. You try to write as neatly as possible, but it’s hard when your hands are shaking.

“So. Who’s it for?” Saionji asks, over her crying fit already. She leans in to take a peak and you hide the name with your forearm, glaring at her again, “What are you so embarrassed about? Is it someone gross?!”

You don’t answer, your glare grows deeper, but Saionji ignores it.

“Oh yuck! Is it Souda? Is it Hanamura?????”

Koizumi clicks her tongue, but a playful smile tugs at her lips, “yeah if it’s Hanamura we might have to disown you.”

“It’s not Hanamura.” You mutter, resting your chin on the palm of your hand, “just stop trying to guess. It’s only making me more nervous.”

Sitting up from her desk, Koizumi comes over and rubs your arm encouragingly, “hey, I’m sure whoever it is will say yes. You’re great, and your talent is really cool.”

You avert your eyes, “my talent isn’t cool, everyone thinks I’m weird.”

“Yeah, iunno, Koizumi-chan.” Saionji says, “I get shivers up my spine whenever she looks at me with her creepy eyes.”

You gesture weakly in Saionji’s direction, “see? People don’t like having their emotions read, it’s invasive and gross.”

“Hey.” Koizumi starts, giving you a soft smile, “look at me.”

Your gaze is intently focussed on her right eyebrow when you say, “I am looking at you.”

She laughs, “ No , look at me.” She points to her eyes, “right here.”

You swallow. Since starting high school you made a valiant effort to avoid using your talent, people always thought you were weird and creepy, it was hard to make friends, “Come on.” She says, placing her hand over yours, “You can trust me.” you take a shaky breath, and meet her eyes.

Protectiveness, warmth, friendship

You feel yourself soften a little, and Koizumi smiles, “okay. You get it now? We’re your friends. Hiyoko and I are going down to the cafeteria, you stay up here and do whatever you need to.” She stands upright and heads to the door, Saionji falling into step beside her, “let us know how it goes.”

Saionji sticks her tongue out, but does follow it up with a quick, “good luck!” before following Koizumi out of the classroom.

Now that you are alone, your heart starts to race. The envelope feels heavy and almost frightening in your hands. This crush of yours has lasted almost a year now, and this is going to be your first attempt to actually do something about it, you’ve never done anything like this before in your life.

You take a deep breath, and pull yourself up from your desk. Knees wobbling as you head over to the desk of Nagito Komaeda, and slip the envelope inside. Saionji would have teased you relentlessly if she knew it was him the love letter was for, but people think you are weird, and people think he is weird. Being the two weird kids in class meant that you spent a lot of time together, group projects that no one wanted to chance his luck with, or that no one wanted to spend multiple classes avoiding your line of sight during. He liked your talent, he trusted you to be respectful and careful of his feelings. Also his hair looked soft.

The letter asked him to meet the sender around the back of the gym after last period. It did not mention you by name. Until then, you were just going to spend the rest of your day completely normally. So you gave Komaeda’s desk one final look and headed back out of the classroom to go meet Koizumi in the cafeteria.

“Oh! Hey!”

You look down the hallway and see Hajime Hinata jogging up to you. You don’t know him particularly well, he sits at the front of the class at the desk by the window. The front row has five desks, the others only have four, Hinata’s desk is out of line with the rest of them. Like it was an afterthought.

“Hello.” You reply, keeping your gaze focussed on his nose instead of his eyes, “How are you?”

He gives you an awkward smile and rubs the back of his neck with a hand. You notice that his uniform looks weird on him, but you can’t place why. It fits, but it looks like it is moving and shifting on his body in ways that are unnatural, you don’t point it out, “I left my lunch in my desk. I’m coming back to get it.”

“Ah.” You say, “do you want me to wait for you?”

Before he has time to answer, you see a familiar figure coming down the hall and you instinctively grab Hinata by the wrist and tug him down to hide behind a row of lockers. You are too distracted, and don’t notice that Hinata’s uniform is black now instead of brown.

“What are you doing?!” Hinata hisses. You cup a hand over his mouth and hold completely still as Komaeda walks past the two of you and into the classroom. You notice that his vest is stained with what looks like gravy, luck related incident, you assume.

Once Komaeda isn’t visible anymore, you let go of Hinata and scramble over to the doorway. Peering around the corner as subtly as you can. He’s taken off his blazer and hung it over the back of his chair, and is in the middle of working his vest up over his head.

Hinata comes up behind you, peering around the corner as well, “What is Komaeda doing?”

“I think he has a spare vest in his desk.” You whisper, “you need to be quiet.”

Your heart is racing in your chest, and your fingers tighten around the doorframe. Komaeda lifts the top of his desk, and his brow furrows when he sees the letter. Gently picking it up and turning it around in his hand. At one point he looks around the room and you have to duck behind the door to make sure he doesn’t notice you. You can barely breathe.

“Wait. What did he just grab?” Hinata asks you, as the two of you lean back out. You don’t reply.

“Oh my god…” Hinata hisses playfully, “someone left a love letter in Komaeda’s desk?”

You’re still focussed on Komaeda’s long fingers as they slowly tear open the envelope, you see your sunflower sticker fluttering down to the ground. Biting your lip, hands shaking, trying to gauge any response.

“Oh my god!” Hinata hisses much less playfully, “ you left a love letter in Komaeda’s desk?!”

“Shh!!” You say, motioning for Hinata to zip it, “I’m watching.”

Komaeda’s eyes are wide as he starts reading, you can see his hands are trembling. Something you’ve written halfway down the page shocks him, he has to go back and read it again to confirm he understood it properly.

“Hmm...that was probably the bit I wrote about how nice his hands are.” You whine nervously, “oh god , I’ve made myself seem like a creep haven’t I?” You whisper, turning back to look at Hinata.

“Komaeda is not the sort to get creeped out.” Hinata mumbles, “I didn’t even know you liked him.”

Your other hand wraps around the doorframe as you lean out a little more, trying to get a better view of Komaeda’s face, “that’s the point of a secret.”

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell him. You know your talent would answer the question for you if you used it right?”

You huff, “I don’t want to use it. I want to be normal .”

“Ļ̴͕̳̮̏̊̌͝͠ͅi̷͕͋̇̿̈́͐̉̈̒̆͂̆͘̚͜͝k̵̨̹͍̩͂̎͑̔̏͂́̽͛͋̓͝e̶̦̣͎͕̦͈͉͖͆́̈́̈́̋̓̊̕ ̵̛̛̛̟̩̺͉͛̄̉̈́͗̃m̷̢̢͖͇̣̞̱̮̱͕̥͂̌ĕ̷̺̝?̶̡̞̬̲͕̜̩̪̫̥̙̦̮͇̉̈̈́͘̚͝”

You freeze, so does Komaeda. The whole school comes to a standstill, “what do you mean, like you?”

When you turn to look at Hinata again, he is gone. You blink your eyes, maybe he just ran off? Either way, your attention was brought back into the classroom by a gentle gasp.

Komaeda has a hand clapped over his mouth, chest heaving as he finishes reading the letter.

Your heart is racing, your knees are starting to hurt from crouching around the corner. You wonder if he knows that it was you

It was you

It wa̷̢̨̖̪̥̹̤̼̭͚͈͑͆͑͆͐̈̆̂̒̍̿́͝͝s you

It was you

It waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaā̵̡̪̦̰͚̭̩̼͎̪͈͋͛͗̃̕͜͝͝ͅạ̵̭͎̥̱͎̹̭̺̰͎̈́͐̒̕a̴̹̜̟̺̞̓͆͒͗͝ä̵̟̼̟̥͎͔̯̯̜́̌̈́̿a̵̹͖͍̙͇̘͍͕͙̅̅͊̌̈́̒̃ạ̴̢̗͉̘̰͉̺̹͍͛͐̆̊͐͘͘͝ͅä̶̡̮͔̹̩̪́̊͒̉̉̕̕͠ă̶̻̓̍̌̚ḁ̵̢̢̢̧̞̱̥̠͕͚̉̋a̴̠͇̻͉̘̐̿͆̄̀̈̀̅̋̅a̷̢̰̙̦̮̘̲̓͝ͅͅa̷̝͖̜̋̈͛̈́̐͌̾̓̃͘s̷̰̻̼̲͓̮̺͌̑̓̃͒̋̏͆̐͌̌̐ ̵̧̙̹̬̞̦̝̓͗͊͌͠ỹ̷̯̯̃́̃̎͋̈́̏̎o̸̩͉͍̗̯̠̙̬̱̩͔̾̅̊̂̾̿̍̌̓̌͘͝u̶̻̳̪̪̻͕̜͜

“Are you alright?” Sensei Yukizome asks.

You blink. Your eyes feel heavy, your brain feels like static. You’re back in class, sitting at your desk. The rest of 77-B has gone quiet, they’re all watching you intently, “I’m...fine.”

Yukizome cocks her head to the side, brows pulled tight with confusion, “Your head hit the desk pretty hard. Are you sure Tsumiki-san doesnt need to have a look at you?”

Not matter how many times you blink, the world never seems to fully come back into focus. You feel sick to your stomach, “What are we doing again?”

“You’re meant to be writing outlines for your practical exams. Descriptions of your strengths and weaknesses, that sort of thing.” She is starting to look very concerned.

You swallow and look down at your page. It’s completely blank, you haven't written anything this whole time, “I havent started…”

When you look over towards the window, your eyes lock on Hinata. He is wearing a white shirt with a green tie. His uniform is completely gone

(Why ạ̴̢̗͉̘̰͉̺̹͍͛͐̆̊͐͘͘͝ͅre there five desks in the front ro̸̩͉͍̗̯̠̙̬̱̩͔̾̅̊̂̾̿̍̌̓̌͘͝w? Why does our clạ̴̢̗͉̘̰͉̺̹͍͛͐̆̊͐͘͘͝ͅss have an odd number of students when no other do̸̩͉͍̗̯̠̙̬̱̩͔̾̅̊̂̾̿̍̌̓̌͘͝es?)

Your head is pounding, and you can feel a distant tether to someone you cannot see or hear. Aching like a phantom limb. You stand up.

“Something is definitely wrong” Yukizome says, backpeddling from your desk when you suddenly shoot up, “Do you want someone to take you to the sick bay?”

You shake your head, “I’m just going to stand by the window for a second. I’m just feeling a little dizzy.”

She nods slowly, “Alright, but if you don't start feeling better, let me know and i'll call your parents, okay?”

“Sure…”

As you walk over to the window, something makes you glance at Hinata’s paper. Something unspooling the memories in the back of your mind whispers, s̵o̵m̴e̶t̵h̵i̴n̸g̸ ̸i̷s̶ ̵n̴o̸t̸ ̵r̷i̵g̴h̸t̵.̵

Hinata’s paper, which should be a detailed explanation of his talent. Is incomprehensible. A series of jumbled letters and numbers blurring and shifting on the page, like trying to read a book in a dream. Dread seeps inside you, and it becomes a full tidal wave when you look up at the window, and see Hinata is now standing outside. You whirl around and see only the empty space where an extra fifth desk once was, the Hinata inside the classroom is gone.

Ḧ̷̢͓̰̤́̍ḭ̵͎̋̈́̒n̸̩͎͋͐̃̊̑a̸̧͉̻̩͙͗̔̓̚ț̵͎̫͑̈́ḁ̴̛̫̞̫̒ ̴̡͇͙̄̒͛̋w̷̡̮͈̍a̴̧̘͙͌s̷͍̫̫͑̊ ̴̭͎͙̆͑̀͑ņ̷̩̈̌e̸̢̡̧͕͍͆̋̋͊̈v̷̳̼̎̌͐͘ȩ̸̙̱̮͆̂r̸͙̭͔͊̂̈́͘ ̴̧̗̣̠͚̉̏̈́͝͝ẗ̵͍̪́h̵̢̤̏̉ȩ̸̩͔r̴̮͐ē̵̘̰̼̕

Heaving a shaky breath you turn back to the window. You freeze. Eyes locked on the figure lurking down by the tree in the garden, he stands completely still, staring up at you with red eyes that you can feel nothing behind. A maw of darkness chews on you from all sides as your stomach tightens. You’re going to throw up.

The person. (Hinata?) his eyes don’t turn from yours.

nothing nothing nothing nothing

N̸̡̬͕͓̪̝̙̙͙̊͑̎̎̔̎̒͋́͑͜ͅǫ̶̛̗̺̖͊͊͝t̶̼̩̣͔͎̭̜̦͓̂͌͌̓̎͐͆́͜͝ͅḫ̵̢̞̙̯̳͍̼̜̥̰̝̉̈́̀͊͆͐̌͘i̸̡̤͌̓̔̐̂̈́̔̆̇̇̎͌̇ň̴̝̬͔̞̓̔́͛̋́̐̓̾̾͘̕͠ġ̴̢̲̩̼̠͓̗̭̯͍̱̔̈́ ̷̡̳͕͓̗̳͍̣̯̘͚͓̼̠̉̎ń̴͙͚̯̪̤̼̳̹̮̓͛̅̍́̔͒̐̑̏͜͝ó̶̢̪̋͐͋̋͑͐̃̐̀̃͝ͅt̶̢͉̺͕͉̥̽̈́͝h̴̨̨̟̣͇͙̖̉̀i̴̠̲͊͗̌͊̚͘͝ͅn̷̹͒͌͂̕ͅg̷̨͓͔͓͔̹̜̻̙̺͆̽̂͐ ̶̧̛̦̯͍͆͂̈̇̂̇̿͑̐̋n̸̨̧̧͇̼̖̗̗̦͑͆̈́̐̅̓͒̽͂̃̕͝o̴̧̳͎͕̟͒͗̈́̅͑̓́͛͝ẗ̷̨̧̛͍̬͕̫̬̻̰͓̳͗h̷͈̹̻̰̪͍͖͎̿̈́̀͌͌̊̕͜i̵̧̛̫̊̒̈͑̆̈́͘n̷̯̱̓͊̀ģ̶̧̫͇̦̰͕͈̖͓̃͘ ̵̢̨̡̪̪̯͈̾͆̿̃ͅn̵̢̞͚̠̩̦͙͈̰̻̱̩͗͜͜ơ̷̡̲̯̇̽̐t̵͚͓́̓̈́̊̏͌͑̐̋͐̅̈́͘h̶̢̗͈̖͉̪͚͔̏̽̈́i̴̡͍̜͇̗̬̩̺͎͈̐͐n̶̛͕̪̂̽̌̒̃̾̿͌̽g̴̗̲̰͈̜̳̮͙͓̼͍̒̅̂̐͗͋͛͗͜

and just before you bend forward and hurl all over your shoes. His eyes blink once . Bored.

There are stories being told behind your closed eyelids. Stories of death and pain. Your eyes are fluttering and spinning but they wont open, you can't open them. Your talent makes you sick, it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-

“Ah, good. You’re awake”

Komaeda is sitting in a plastic chair to your right. You are covered from your feet to your collarbones in an itchy blanket. The room smells like hand sanitizer.

“Oh.” You whisper, “I’m in the sick bay?”

“Yes. You lost consciousness by the window.” He laughs nervously, “I carried you over. I figured that studying for the practical exam isn't really something I need to worry about. It’s all going to come down to my luck anyway.”

You nod slowly. Still trying to slot the pieces together in your head. What made you pass out again? Dehydration?

The world is swirling, Komaeda reaches a hand out as if to steady you. His face is little more than a blur and you try to grab his hand as a way to ground yourself as the bed below you feels intangible, “Hey…” He whispers, “are you…”

You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing yourself to focus only on the sound of your breathing. When you open your eyes again, Komaeda is still there, but everything else is gone.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his hair is longer and more unruly, the bags under his eyes are deep and purple. The sky behind his head is a shock of red and smoke, “Your hands are shaking.”

When your eyes snap down to where your hands are gripping his. Bile crawls up your throat, your breath is coming quick and sharp. This doesn't make sense, why is this happening? Your head spins and twists and your heart is beating a rapid tattoo in your chest. The hand that should be gripping Komaeda’s, is instead gripping the limp wrist of a woman's hand, a sickening mixture of purple and black blotting its once pale flesh, red fingernails resting on your wrist. Your other hand is gripping a needle and thread, shaking as you are halfway through tugging a length of fishing line through the bleeding stump of Komaeda’s left forearm.

You shriek and scramble backwards, head colliding with what is once again the wall of the school infirmary. Komaeda pulls his hand back, it is his hand again.

“Ah, sorry. I shouldn't have tried to touch you.” He laughs goodnaturedly, “Even someone who confesses their love to me is too disgusted by my filth. I should have known better.” he smiles, “This is why i must decline your affections, you see, for me to dirty you with my touch. It would be a waste.”

You want to comfort him, to pull him into your arms and tell him that his touch does the opposite of disgusting you, but you can't bring yourself to do it. The sound of your heart beating in your ears is thunderous, you can still smell the rotting flesh of the dead woman's hand, still feel the sting of smoke in your eyes.

S̵̟̥̒̕͝o̵̧̯̔͛m̸̢̛͙̈́̋͛͜e̵̛̲͍̰̿̆͜ţ̶̰͐̈͆ͅh̴̟͐̕ḯ̶͓̤̏͝n̶͔͈̼̙͆̑͂̉g̵̩̖̔͊̊ ̸̢͚̆̐ͅi̶̻̋̔̕͝s̶̢̍̚ ̷̧͚̀͌ẁ̵̛̭̬̘̕͝r̶͎̖͈̋̓o̴̯̹̒̈͗̚n̴͙̲̂̽͘g̸͖͍̽̈́ ̷̫̘̠̾̊w̸͎̻̾i̷̳̮̫͊̏̇t̵̛͇̚h̴̤͙͆͗̍ ̷̨͚̹͇̃y̸̲̦̓̉́o̸͚͋̓͊͝ủ̶̹͖̈́.̵͖̔̔͋͘

Then. A realisation.

“Wait. Confess their love to you?”

“The note you left.” His head cocks to the side, “Did you forget? You had written so many kind things about me, I can't even believe half of them.” He sighs and his eyes attempt to meet yours. You stare at his shoulder instead, “I would not want you to waste your affections on me. You can do infinitely better.”

“Are you...rejecting me?”

Komaeda gives you a sad smile. The walls of the sick bay flicker and turn to static behind his head, “Please don’t misunderstand. You are wonderful, that you even confessed to me at all is...outstanding, you have so much to give and you shouldn't waste your love on someone who

is ğ̸̰̫͍̰̥̌̊̌̃͊̾͘͝͠͠o̴̰̊i̷̩͙͖͓͒͐̽̑́̈́̑͝ͅn̷̢̡̼̼̩̘̪͍̼̻̖̙̓̆̂̄̒͊g̸̛̤̼̲͐̏̌͐͊̽͗̀̄̐̓ ̶͎͑͒̋̐͗͂͘͝t̶̨̢͔̝̥̼̤̥̜͎̗͋̑̽̏̍̈͂̎̏͊̚ͅǫ̷̧̻̗̭̜̟̜͎̪̠̭͙͊̈́͛̊̔͘ ̷̳̇̿̀̑̂̂̉̄̓͘͜͝͠d̶̟͎̯͆̏̓̾̿̎̾́͗̓͒͘͠i̴͚̥͕̫͉͇̳̤̍̂͜ͅễ̴̡̛͇̭̤͎̙̙͓̟̞̖̘̓̎͆̀̋̐̕ ̴̥̜̦̬̩̟̪̼̮͔͆͋̋͋̉͜͠ḑ̸̙̙͍͑̅͋̽ỉ̶̛͈͓͚̻͋̅̒e̸̢̧̤̦͚̖̩͗͆͌̾́͂̃̉̊̐̾́͝͝ͅ ̸̧̜̬̲͚̽ͅd̸̛̛̲͊́̔̆̈́̍́̊͊͗̚̕ḯ̶̢̡̗͕̳̭͇̗̫̤͎̮͖̝̃̔̈́̈́̕͘͘͜e̴̪̥̲̖͓̬̹̗̙̽͗̍͑̋̏̆̄̑̆̿̕̚͘͝ ̵͓͓̦̽͒̐́̀̎̇͠d̴̡͋̍̅̽̍̌̄̏͑̈́̃͗̚͘i̴͖̠͈̾̀͂̄̕͘͘͝ę̶̞͐̑̍͒̎̽͗̿̑̇̅͘͝ ̴̪̝̬̂͌̎͗̚d̴̡̛̘͖̊̈́̾͊̌̆͂͛̐̓̏͝i̵̡̩͈̮͇͉͎̯̍̓͌ͅe̸̖͎̥̦̞̺̗͚̍ͅ ̵͍̬̳̞̰͖͍͕̫̥̝̑̋̂͝d̷͇̭͎̯̻͈̜̝̜̗̗͂̋͌͊̀͘ĩ̷̮̰̂̌́͂͗̐̅̕͘̚͝ȩ̸̢̰͓͎̪̤̦̼̣̭̲̫͔͐̍̀͗̈́̾̈̚̕̕ ̷͉͔͈͔͙̖̟̣͙̭͊̅̐̓̈́͛̇̓̾͑̈́́d̶͓̲͍͉̱͕̼̰̥͖͍̥̱͓̂́͑͛͗̈̈̎̍͊̇̿͋̔͠i̵̡͎̠͑̏̈́̿̇̚͝ę̴͇̬͈̫͈͚͓̰̥̝̣̫̑͆͋͑͛̈́͐̓̕̚͜ͅ ̵͉͈̿̈́͛͌̈́͆̓̒d̷͇́̇̂͛i̸̳͎̳̲̙̎͐̐̾͊̔́̈́̉͂̈̕ȇ̸̟̰͂̈́̂̚͜ ̴̝̣͓͕̤͚͕͈͍̻̐̈́̀͆͒͗̋̽͋͠d̸̡̼͈̘̮̪͉̭̯͎͍̪͚̋͛͛̃̀̔̌ͅi̷͚̖̥̫̲͉̩̒͂̓̈́̓̚ẻ̵̡̨̹̞̮̗̦̄͑͐̑̔͆̚ ̷̜̰̖̦̓̽̏͂̓̈́̊͘͠d̸̛̜̞̫͎͕͙͈͋͌̋͌̓i̴̟̱̲͉̟͔̇̑̅̔̃̽̑̑͑͐è̴͍̱̫̱̮͌̆͗̿͆̽̃̋ͅ”

His mouth is still moving like he is speaking real words. But all you can hear is that one word repeated over and over and over. Your heart is racing, you have no idea what is happening. Komaeda is just talking like nothing is wrong, the world is turning to glass out of the corner of your eyes. Breaking and reforming again behind your eyelids.

Komaeda disappears, like he was just erased from existence and you suddenly realise that you are crying. One of the tears catches on your finger, and shimmers in ways that are unnatural. What is happening to you?

There’s a creaking noise on the other side of the room and you scramble backwards on the sick bed as the boy who looks like Hinata comes in through the door. He makes no move to approach you, he stands stiffly by the doorway and watches .

You wipe the tears from your face with the back of your hand, “who are you?! What have you done with Hinata?”

“I have done nothing to Hinata. His fracturing was yours and yours alone.” He says. His voice is familiar. It digs its claws deep inside of you.

“His... fracturing? ” A sob hiccups in your throat, “What are you talking about?”

The boy doesn’t answer.

“Can you please leave me alone? ” You sniffle, wiping away more tears, “I’m having a hard enough day as it is.”

“If it brings you comfort, you will ask Komaeda many more times.” The strange boy says, staring off into the middle distance, “he will say yes on the sixth.”

“Wha- He will…?” You whisper, “How do you know?”

His eyes turn to you and you get a crawling feeling under your skin, like he is looking straight through you, “This world is fabricated, but much of it is based in reality.”

“I...what?” You blink up at him, confused, “fabricated? What are you talking about?”

“A defense mechanism. All in your mind.”

You laugh nervously, “this isn’t a very funny joke…”

“I do not joke.” He continues staring, you refuse to meet his eyes, “use your talent. If you are too afraid to believe me.”

You swallow, “I...I can’t .”

“No. You won’t ” he sighs, disappointed, “a waste of potential, predictable. Boring.”

“Fine. If this world isn’t real, how are you here?” You say, “I doubt I would create someone just to ruin my own illusion.”

“I am not from here. I have been sent to help.” His eyes are empty, his expression unchanging, “Your world is crumbling, and you need to leave it.”

“Nothing is crumbling . What is wrong with you?”

“Your denial is wasting our time. Your mind is trying to make assurances where it should not, trying to put together the pieces of three different puzzles all at once and they just don’t fit.” He takes a few steps forward, eyes still boring into you, “This ideal world you have created is not sustainable, cherry picking the good parts of three separate lives does not result in stability. If you don’t leave here, the walls will collapse around you, and you will die in the rubble.” He reaches a hand out to you, “come with me. We’ll untangle the mess of your memories, then tell me how you feel about staying.”

You are hesitant when you take his hand. The moment feels significant, like a leap into the void. You are surprised at how warm his hand is, for some reason you had expected it to be cold. He doesn't lead you anywhere like you were anticipating, instead he presses his other hand on top of yours and closes his eyes.

The smell hits you like a wall. People always say that scent has a strong connection to memory and a fondness you have never known breathes life into your lungs. It smells like autumn, bitter winds and pumpkin spice. Sandalwood, a hint of cinnamon apple and…

“Komaeda?”

His eyes turn to you, his face tight with nervousness.

“Are you okay?”

He giggles nervously, the sound echoing in the empty classroom, “Oh, me? I’m fine! My concern is what will happen to you if someone walks in and sees us like this.”

When Komaeda says like this , he means sitting together on the windowsill. Not exactly scandalous, but his own perpetual self-loathing has morphed it into something downright sinful.

There’s a brisk wind dancing through the autumn leaves outside the window. Red and orange trapezing through the sky. Komaeda has a thick green scarf wrapped around his neck and his nose is turning pink in the cold. He looks adorable.

Your mouth pulls into a firm line and you clutch your hands together in your lap, “You know i'm not trying to hide you from anyone, right?”

“And that is very kind of you. I’m sure no one would judge you poorly for hiding our relationship.” He smiles warmly, “I am human garbage, after all.”

“Komaeda, I want to tell people.” You say, rotating in place to face him more directly, “You think i confessed my feelings for you six times as a joke?”

“I did consider that at first, but the more i think about it…” He averts his eyes, cheeks turning a little pink, “It does seem like your feelings are...genuine. No matter how misguided.”

You huff and leap up from the windowsill, facing Komaeda with your hands on your hips, “You want proof that i'm not ashamed of you? Fine. I’ll do it!”

“Huh?” Komaeda breathes, “You’ll do what ?”

It is with great purpose that you cross the room over to the blackboard. Grabbing a stick of chalk and writing in big looping letters, Nagito Komaeda and I are DATING , underneath you sign it with your name. You are not about to let this be misconstrued. Komaeda is more important to you than the opinions of your classmates, you are willing to let Saionji tease you for months to come if it means he understands just how much you care. You gesture at the blackboard, “Do you get it now?”

He’s just staring at you, one hand cupped over his mouth, eyes glimmering with the beginnings of tears, and something much warmer underneath, “But...but class is going to start again in 10 minutes and everyone will-”

You cut him off, walking back over to the windowsill and cupping his face in both of your hands. Brushing an errant tear away with your thumb, you smile, “I know . That’s kind of the point.”

He gives you a watery smile, reaching his hand up to interlock his fingers with yours where they rest on your cheek. He is shaking, but it's a good kind of nervous, you can feel it behind his eyes, “I don’t deserve you…”

You laugh and press your lips to his tear stained cheek, “Yes you do.”

Then, almost as quickly as it began. The memory fades, behind Komaeda’s head you watch the sun set and rise over and over, faster and faster. Yellow, orange, blue and then purple keeps crossing Komaeda’s face like someone is tipping over a bucket of paint. He’s still smiling up at you, a hopeful expression frozen in time and you realise with horror that you can no longer feel his skin under your hands.

“No…” you whisper, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair only to find it intangible. A sob cuts loose from your throat.

“A good memory.” A voice says from behind you. That boy who looks like Hinata is standing in the doorway. His hair seems longer and darker, the tips are kissing his jawline. You’d almost forgotten he existed, “I decided it best to start simple. Your mind would not have handled something more intense.”

The sun is still rotating outside the window, light cascading through the classroom and then fading into darkness every few seconds. Like a subway train passing by a station.

“Is this the future?” You ask, voice wavering.

“No. It is the past.” He doesn't give you the time to ask anymore questions, though he can tell that you want to, “The next memory will be difficult. I will not ask if you are ready, because you will not be.”

#this took so long lol #i think three more chapters to go?#next one is gonna be EFFED UP #komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda nagito #danganronpa fanfiction #danganronpa x reader #nagito komaeda

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tylerwritez · 3 years

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Have you ever been in love? Its Tuesday, October 12th and I'm in love. Hes so cute and he makes me laugh all the time with how stupid and cute he is I really like him and I like spending time with him. His last name has got "blue" in it but his eyes are green and they're the prettiest goddamn eyes I've ever seen, like a light greenish colour, hard to describe. I like looking at his face and listening to him call me a nerd. He makes me feel like I love him! Like happy nervousness fluttering inside me but also i know I'm safe with him. His voice, his stupid jokes, everything about him I love. I cant exactly tell him all this though,,, I've already boosted up his ego enough 😅 but fuck it, it's TRUE, I feel like I love him. I hung out with him today and I went home smiling to myself thinking about him. Even though we didnt do any sex stuff really, I still really like to spend time with him, and it hasn't happened yet but like I know I wont regret anything I do with him because I'm pretty much 100 percent sure that I love him and trust him... I love to hug him just,,,, just hug him. I love to kiss his stupid pretty face and look into his eyes and when he touches me I get this rush. This all sounds so cringe but I really really love him and I'm getting emotional over it like I feel like I'm gonna cry from how much I like him oh shit I AM crying fuck okay... but yeah I love him and maybe I'm not the absolute best at showing him that but it's true, it's there, I love him.... and I'm pretty sure he likes me back at least, I mean hes nice to everyone but a little teasingly mean to me (seemingly specifically???) Which kinda feels special lol idk that's cheesy though, also when I told him I liked him he said he had a crush on me too... look, I dont know. Maybe I cant insult him well or beat him in Mortal Kombat or Super Smash Bros or pick up my vape from the floor without falling over off his bed and fucking up my glasses but WHATEVER!!! it doesnt matter to me. He IS better than me, literally in every way. Maybe my insults arent on par with his, my jokes arent either, my musical ability isnt either, my looks aren't either, my strength isnt either... but let it be that way. I dont mind. We're always trying to one up each other and he always wins but it doesnt even matter that much to me anymore if he wins. Let him win. He's meant to. I love him. Jesus. It's really quite the fucking feeling to have. I just wanna hold onto him and kiss him and tell him I love him, show him I love him because I do. It's such a strong feeling. Its lighting my heart ablaze. Everything he does I admire. Even when hes just being stupid (so pretty much always) I love him. Fuck, I wish he knew. I wish he really knew that I when I said "I love you" I fuckin meant it.

I swear to god,,, I hope he doesnt think I'm too much for this. Like, I know he wanted something chill and I hope he doesnt find it weird that I actually like him. I WASNT SUPPSOED TO EVEN LIKE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE IT JUST HAPPENED!!! IT ALL JUST FUCKING HAPPENED AND I FELL IN LOVE AND I HAVE THIS HUGE FUCKING CRUSH ON HIM!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Also did I mention hes really hot? Yeah I proabably did already but fuck it hes super hot and I'm into him!!! And I just.,..,,., I'm literally going insane over him yall dont even understand.

Or do you? Have you ever been in love?

I think now I have.

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prissypickle · 3 years

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Ill be talking about my growth over the year. There will be sensitive topics but I want to share what I have overcome.

The past 12 months have been so hard to deal with. But Ive overcome so many challenges

. May 18th I had a major attempt. I was in the pcu for 2 days. I wrote my parents a letter saying that Im going to the hospital to get some help. The last time i ever attempted like this was in 2014. My parents didn’t realize how much I was struggling despite telling them daily.

I was admitted into the psych unit a 3rd time. Those 7-10 days is where you grow so much. The people surrounding you at the hospital is one of the most comforting things. The paitents, (most) staff they are always there for you when it feels like no one else is. Ive been there twice since 2019. Recently ive been considering going back (for a psych eval) due to how the past 5 months have been one event after another

. I was supposed to get out of the psych unit on Saturday but I voluntarily checked myself out as we thought my bearded dragon was going to pass. My mom told the staff not to tell me unless they really thought it was over for him (sloppy writing rn Im crying over how I thought I was gonna lose him) rafiki is my rock. He knows how to calm me down. The staff allowed me to have my phone for 2 hours while I called 20 different vets to find a place to Euthinize Rafiki as that was pretty much the only reason my mom told me. I called for 2 hours and there was only one place that would do it. It was an inhome euthanasia. And I have that numbered stored in my phone. God forbid I need to use it. Its there

. I took him to the vet and we decided that if the antibiotics that we were giving him wasn’t working we would euthanize him. But it worked and my boy is happy and alive.

Things started to get bad again when my sisters boyfriend moved in. I began disociating and maladaptive daydreaming to the extreme.

I relapsed.

But I got back up. Then come January and I decided to open up my shop. @delicate.littlespace.shop its one of the best thing I could have done. I had severe struggles. Etsy started taking me down for copyright infringement because I was selling deco popsocket. They took the whole They took my whole account down because of the popsocket deal. That fucked me up a lot. I was able to get it back once I showed etsy that what i was selling isnt really a popsocket. I just buy it in bulk. I got my account back. But one night I was on Facebook and someone took my photos and put it on a child protective services group. It was the most painful thing ever as it could’ve showed my location full name etc. but they crossed off all my info. Still extremely upsetting. Ontop of my etsy issues. Someone started a roumor saying I support minors in kink so on and they told all my promoters and one left and blocked me without me able to defend my side. So im watching out here and there to make sure roumors aren’t going around about me.

A series of events happened that day. My etsy account got suspended, posted in a cps group, crisis line hung up on me not once but TWICE there were more but that was the main 3. I took 2 days off work. Then the series of events get worse. I dislocated my shoulder. It took 3 months for me to get to see a ortho who just spent 5 minutes with me and told me to go to pt. I was waitlisted on pt. I went and saw a second opinion for my shoulder. Same things. Pt.

I reinjured it severely the other day as I lifted up something that I shouldnt have and I popped my shoulder put of place. I went to urgent care the next day and found out my shoulder was re dislocated, fractured, and deformed. January to April I was in a sling. Then I was out and them on my 2nd I injured it. I was supposed to start PT finally on the 13th but my referrl never went through so I dont know what to do anymore about pt. Im just thinking how this may be a sign that pt isnt gonna help.

With my worsened injury I cant do basic needs. Washing hair, chores, cook, I can barely pull up my pants. Its horrible. I dont wish this on anyone. So Ive been struggling with major hygiene and didnt wash my hair for 2 weeks. Today I finally got it washed and it felt so good. I nearly released the other day but I was able to stop and think. Hey a year ago it would be different. Ive overcome so many things this past year. My life has been 10000years too many. Im just proud of how far I have come and Im finally safely coping. I still have a whole bunch ahead of me but Im finally going in the right direction.

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xsarcasticwriterx · 3 years

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Childhood friends-part 2

Summary: Negan and y/n spend the day together talking of their history which makes things become complicated for y/n along with the toll of her friends demise.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of verbal and physical abuse, signs of depression

Notes: jesus sorry this is kinda meh and sorry it took so long to get out I procrastinate a lot and life's been chaotic anyways I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Waking up in negans arms felt strange for y/n. She was laying curled up next to him their legs tangled together and y/n head on negans chest. She didn't want to move but at the same time she felt wrong not doing so.

After a few minutes of this internal battle going on in her head she eventually decided to move. Slowly moving away she slid off the bed and into the guest bathroom. throwing water on her face she recapped the events of the day before. Negan had broken her promise and made her feel a sense of fear she had pushed away for so long. She more so didn't understand how negan was so casual with arguments with the history they both had memories of.

Pulling herself out of the bathroom y/n was greeted with negan sitting up in the bed on his phone. “wont Lucille wonder why your in here?” y/n asked confused why he was so casual and calm. “You mean the same fucking Lucille who practically pushed you onto me? She stayed at her moms house last night after the fucking fight anyways.” negan replied with a semi annoyed tone. sighing, y/n walked over and sat next to negan on the bed.

“negan.....we both know why i hate yelling.....how are you so calm around it.” y/n had to know. if someone even raised their voice at her shed feel her heart drop. “I know what he fucking did to me....to us and it took me a while but i eventually fucking realized if someone's yelling at me it's not the same way he did it. It's not to fucking make me feel like some small ass child but as a way of showing their upset.” negan said gulping. He never liked talking of his father. neither did y/n her memories with him made her feel like a piece of shit. she nodded slightly. “Hey wanna go get some breakfast?” negan asked her. “yea of course” y/n replied.

Negan left to get changed leaving y/n alone. she changed into a simple tshirt and jeans. Putting on her tennis shoes. she fixed her hair and walked downstairs. she sat on the couch and waited for negan. The house was so silent. she hated when Lucille and negan fought it always felt so tense and awkward.

a few minuets later negan came down stairs. He smiled at y/n and grabbed his leather jacket. y/n followed after as they walked outside. Negan got into his car y/n following after. Negan put on Led zeppelin as they headed to the diner they usually ate at. So often in fact that the owners and them were on a first name basis. They had spent practically their whole life there. pulling up to the small place with big red glowing lights they got out the car.

y/n wasn't sure if it was the events of last night or the new of Lucille or a mix of both but something about being at the diner just made everything feel so surreal like reality wasn't actually real. they walking into the diner and suddenly y/n felt like she was 15 again. walking to their usual table the chefs immediately got to work. “shit feels weird as hell being here” negan said. “Very. i don’t get why not like we weren't here only last week.” y/n replied. “Things have all changed in a week made us feel....” negan drifted off. Something y/n had only seen happen at most 10 times. negan was never one to not have the words for something. Though she knew he had the words he just didn't want to say them. “Small” y/n finished for negan. He nodded.

Negan wasn't one for being silent. Hell all through school teachers constantly harped on him for his obnoxiously loud and social behavior. When negan was silent y/n knew it was serious. Between the fight and Lucille's diagnosis everything has felt like a huge 180. Like the world would never be the same again. They had both known Lucille they're entire high school and adult lives they went through life together. They grew up together and now shed be gone. They wanted to hope of course everyone wants to hope that someone they love and care for won't pass but they knew the inevitable. Lucille's resulted weren't looking up and in the end they all knew what's going to happen. They sat in silence which was unusual to say the least.

“here you two. seem like you could use something a little more than your usual.” mark, their usual waiter,said. “Thanks” negan said. Mark nodded and walked off. Negan and y/n looked to see what he brought. seemed like their usual shakes. negan took a sip and his eyes widened. confused, y/n took a sip too. Feeling the taste of not only the strawberry shake but the taste of liquor filling her mouth she pulled away. “ah...you know Jim is going to ask what's up if its this bad” y/n said. negan sighed “i know....only other time they gave us this was the first time we came here after our fucking major fight” negan said.

That was probably the worst day of y/n’s life. Negans dad had banned him from seeing her but she didn't know that. they ended up having a huge fight when she got tired of being ignored. When negan yelled back about his father y/n felt her heart shatter. That same night they ended up here but didn't speak. Jim knew and told mark to give us something extra. Mark was their age and he didn't know that meant an extra desert or something so instead he added some liquor that was stored there. Jim came and placed two burgers and fries on the table and then pulled a chair to the edge of the table and sat down. “alright what is it. Yall fighting again?” he asked. “no it's not that” y/n said. “Lucille fucking has cancer” negan said and immediately sighed and placed his head into his hands. “shit...” Jim said. “i'm so sorry you two....” jim said. He poured more of the alcohol into their drinks. “think you need that.” jim said. “look I can't begin to imagine the pain you two are going through but i can say i have never met two people who care for someone so much and she cares for you two a lot too. She's lived a great life and now you two just need to spend as much time as you can with her”

They knew jim was right but there was a pain in seeing lucille. So many memories which only lead to pain because they could no longer create anymore memories. It felt like the end of a book. Jim stood up and walked off. they ate in silence only a few words spoken of small talk. once they were done negan started to place down a bill. “on the house” Jim said through the serving hatch. negan put the money back into his pocket. once back in the car negan placed his head on the steering wheel. “What the fuck do I do?” he asked mostly to the world. “Honestly....I have no clue....Think just do what jim said y'know. take what time we have and use it as much as we can.” she replied. negan nodded. “I’m glad your here. I’ll never fucking know why you stayed after all the shit.” negan sighed. y/n reached for his hand” “because its shit we went through together. Just as we will deal with this together” she replied. she knew he didnt mean in general. He was speaking of the night that changed their relationship forever. The night she and him lost their virginity to each other. That wasn't something that needed to be talked about though not then.

Negan started up the car and drove to a secluded forest the place they went after negan had explained his situation at home getting worse. parking on the hill they got out. Sitting on the edge of the cliff looking down at the water. “I really am sorry. For everything. All the times I snapped at you, for bringing you to my house even after my dad was getting worse, for ignoring you and being too much of a fucking pussy to stand up to that asshole, and for messing with your feelings....for sleeping with you and then just leaving...” negan said. He was clearly drunk he never was sentimental and the smell of alcohol was prominent on his breath. He looked over at her and saw her face. “I mean it I may be tipsy but i know what i'm saying and its all true” he said. “thank you” she replied. She didn't know what to say.

She was never mad at negan for all that even when it happened only when he ignored her did she truly get pissed. Everything else is just a thing. She never blamed him. When his father beat her she never blamed negan. When negan ignored her she never blamed him she was mad but never blamed him. She always blamed his father. Even when they slept together she never blamed him because it was mutual. She never blamed negan so him apologizing was odd and left her confused.

They spent most the day at the cliff just thinking and being together. Negans phone rang pulling him away. “Hey” he said into his phone. “oh yea of course” he said “yep ok” he said and hung up. “um she wants to talk so...I guess i'll drop you off at your house” he said. They got back into the car and drove to her house. “I’ll see you monday” negan said. “Hey...it'll be ok negan. we’ll do this together” y/n said getting out the car. He smiled and nodded. For the first time today he smiled. She walked inside and flopped onto the couch. This was taking more of a toll on her than she originally anticipated.

#negan x reader #negan fanfiction #the walking dead negan #The Walking Dead #Jeffrey Dean Morgan

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pbandjesse · 3 years

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Welp I feel really depressed tonight. I had a horrible time at work and I just feel so low. I may put in my two weeks if the next couple days dont improve. Cause wow. I am just not having fun right now.

It was another night of not great sleep. I woke up and tried to feel alright but it was hard. I had like an hour and a half this morning to do what I wanted. So I got washed and dressed and felt cute. James said I looked like an angel. And that felt nice at least.

I had breakfast and played a little animal crossing. Finished making the other train station on the opposite side of the island. I still need to fix up the camp grounds a bit but I still had a fun time working on what I did.

I got myself together and left at a better time so I wasnt as early. I walked over to the site and hoped for a good day.

But it was kind of a mess. We had two new boys who were sweet to me but didnt mesh great with some of the others and it lead to a huge fight. And then they insisted on playing dodge ball which I was not a fan of but they still did. I had a substitute because Travis wasnt in. Which upset me only because I had told him I might not be in because I wasnt feeling great and then he didnt come in and also didnt say anything to me. So that kind of hurt my feelings. But at least the sub was nice.

We did watch a movie today and I played chess with one of the little boys. We only had a half a board though so I modified it to make it work and he picked up on it fast. We also did some water color painting and it was fun.

But there was a lot of trouble in that middle part of the day and I just felt so defeated.

I couldnt wait for the end of the day to come. I did some more drawings for the kids to color for our garden. I tried to just clean up the room and make sure all the kids we had left were picked up. I tried to check in with parents as they picked up their kids. About changes in schedule and their classwork they need to do. So I could be better prepared for the staff meeting tonight.

We finished up the day around 530 and I headed home. James finished up soon after I got back and went to pick us up burger king. And then I had my staff meeting.

Which honestly just made me feel worse. I just felt like all the negatives were against me. I was called an "aid" and not a teacher. Which whatever but if thats the case why am I putting in so much effort. But then I was told we dont put in enough effort and we've gotten lazy. But the truth is I am burnt out. I dont think I can do this anymore and I just feel like Im falling apart. We have one on one meeting next week and I might just have to say that Im not going to be able to keep this up after spring break and honestly that might be pushing it because I am just. Miserable. It sucks. Its not what I wanted at all. I just feel so unhappy and I hate it.

I had DND to look forward too. And the couple hours we all hung out was actually really fun. It was just nice hearing from everyone what they think about their character and how we all met and came together. I was very tired though and it made it so I got a little confused a few times. But James will fill me in. My laptop started dying in the last 20 minutes so I went to sit with James so I could still be a part of the game. And got a couple spells in. It was a good time.

But I still feel really down. And I really dont know what Im going to do. I hope I can actually sleep tonight. I hope you all can too. Have a good day tomorrow.

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sweetiejunie · 4 years

Text

Cupid’s Arrow

Summary: all it took was a few shots and a phone call

Genre: fluff / angst

Yeonjun x reader (ft. Best friend! Kai)

Warning: swearing • drinking, pls drink responsibly 🍻

=====================================

An arrow is said to be shaped as a concave quadrilateral. Unlike a knife, it makes it harder to be removed once you’ve been hit. It causes you to bleed out. Putting an end to the misery and inevitably, your life.

That’s exactly how yeonjun felt when he first saw you. You had shot cupid’s arrow at his heart and no matter how hard he tried there was no way for him to remove it. A perfectly crafted arrow that ensured it hit its target, him. The only difference in this case was that there was no end to his suffering or pain. Whenever he saw you talking or laughing with his other members, that arrow only got deeper making his heart twist and hurt more.

He had met you through Kai. You were in the same class and one day Kai had invited you to their dorm to work on an assignment you had. And ever since, the boys had been inviting you over more and more often.

The moment yeonjun laid an eye on you, he was gone. The way you shyly smiled and greeted them just made his heart race. You were probably the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

He’s never been brave enough to tell you how he’d fallen victim to one of your fatal arrows, he just couldn’t. In his mind you were the huntress and he was your prey. And a huntress never gets hit by their own arrows, do they. There’s no way you fell for him.

To him, you were some untouchable prize he couldn’t even dream of achieving, the one with the bow and an impenetrable heart. Little did he know, your heart had been hit. And by who? The answer would really surprise him.

It’s been a year since he’s been hit, but the arrow still stuck with him, as painful as it’s ever been. A year of all the pent-up frustration, jealously and love. Throughout that time, he’s tried multiple times to tell you how he felt, and every time he backed out at the last minute, in fears of rejection. He was about to explode and on that one faithful day he finally did. All it took was a couple shots and a phone call.

Yeonjun had tried and attempted many times to get over you. Whenever he failed to confess, he immediately wanted to give up on you in general. He assumed being friends with you enough for him but time and time again he proved himself wrong.

He always drank when he felt the pain, drinking just enough to help numb his heart. A feeling he’s gotten accustomed to.

Today, the stinging in his chest was worse than ever. He had overheard your plans with Kai to go to a some new ice cream parlor. How he wanted Kai to say no and for you to have asked him instead.

Thats how he ended up here, at McClaren’s bar, the only person spending time with him was a little birdie called jack daniel, someone he considered a close friend by this point. He took a shot, cringing as the alcohol slide down his throat, burning, but no pain could compare to what his heart was going through.

Earlier that day he saw you entering the practice room as their practise was coming to an end. In his heart he hoped you were there looking for him but instead you greeted him and the other boys and turned to Kai. He knows you and Kai were best friends, but it still hurt how he wasn’t your number one choice and probably would never be.

He remembered how you had showed Kai a picture of the parlor, the way your face lit up as you talked about how excited you were to try it. He took another shot.

He remembered how you waited for Kai to end practice. He wished you had been waiting for him instead, taking another shot.

The way you and Kai left the building together, laughing and chatting about god knows what. With each shot he took, he felt his frustration build. But that didnt last long. A wave of sadness crashed on him and he realised there was no way he could stay mad at you, no matter how drunk and/or sober he was. He just cared and loved you too much.

As the alcohol started to take effect, yeonjun felt his negative thoughts, along with his sobriety, fade away. All his thoughts, except one, you. In a way he was glad all he could think about was you, but he despised the jealousy and pain that came with it.

“Why can’t she just realise how i felt about her? I’ve been trying so fucking hard to make it obvious, why is she so ignorant?” He rambled, to no one in particular.

There was no one close enough to hear him, hell, it was too early for anyone to be at a bar, but he still continued mumbling to himself. He was depressed, or maybe it was anger? He didn’t know anymore, all his emotions were numb, creating a mess in his mind. A few more shots through his soliloquy and suddenly everything went black.

——————————————————————————

“What! You jumped on a glass coffee table?!” Kai exclaimed, bursting into a fit of laughter as you told him the story of how you wanted to test a glass table by jumping on it, breaking it in the process, obviously.

“Hey! Its not my fault it broke okay!”

“Yeah, right. The table came out of no where and got in your way right?”

“Exactly!” You said sarcastically, folding your arm in a defensive manner, “you get me. But there’s something you need to know about me Kai-”

“That you like glass coffee tables?” He intrupted with another round of laughs.

“No. It’s that I’m just really dumb,” you reponded, and with that, the entire street was filled with your laughters. Thankfully, the street was practically empty at that hour.

It was nearly 11pm as you and Kai made your way back home. The past few hours you spent with your best friend had been fun. After getting ice cream, you headed to the nearby park to walk off the calories. However, you both somehow ended up at the playground playing on the swings, with Kai pushing you, of course. You had fun, but eventually the sun had to call it a day and so did you.

It was a beautiful night, stars filled the sky and the moon hung brightly beside them. You’ve always loved stargazing and one day you hoped to be able to lie in the grass, stargazing with your favourite person.

“So... you planning to confess anytime soon?”

You chocked at Kai’s sudden question, “what?”

“Oh, dont pretend. You know who I’m talking about and i know you’re thinking of him right now.”

Blushing at how obvious you were being, you replied, “no way, he doesn’t like me. Ill just be digging my own grave.”

As if on cue, you felt your phone ring in your back pocket.

“Hold on Kai,” you paused, retrieving your phone.

‘Yeonjun 🥴💓’ you heart fluttered as the screen lit up, revealing the caller. ‘That’s weird, why would he be calling me?’ You thought.

No doubt, Kai saw the name and was now teasing you about it. Kai was the only person you trusted enough to tell about your crush on yeonjun, you didnt know him long at the time, but something about him just drew you in. You hit Kai’s arm and answered the phone, signalling Kai to be quiet.

“Hey yeonjun! What’s up?”

Kai blew a kiss in your direction and you responded by rolling your eyes and shaking your head.

You heard someone at the other end of the line but the voice that replied didn’t belong to the blue haired boy you knew.

“Um hi, is this y/n?”

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Oh hi, um so your friend here passed out and he’s been mubbling your name a lot, so i figured you were the person i should call,” the stranger said, letting out a dry laugh at the awkwardness of the call.

“What? Is he okay? Where is he?” You asked, panic overtaking you.

“Yes, he seems fine, he just had a bit too much to drink. He’s at McClaren’s.”

“Alright, thank you! I’ll go pick him up now!” With that, you hung up.

You turned to face Kai, who was looking at you with the face of confusion, “come on we have to pick up yeonjun, he’s at the bar.”

——————————————————————————

You hailed a taxi and you both jumped in. Your mind flooded with worry as you wondered what could have made yeonjun drink so much. He was fine when you were at the practice room earlier, did you miss something when you left?

The moment you arrived, you rushed into the bar, leaving Kai to pay for the ride. When you stepped in, a mixture of alcohol and smoke filled your senses but you couldn’t care less. Your main goal was ensuring yeonjun was alright.

Your eyes scanned the scene until they fell upon the boy slumbering at bar counter. An open bottle of whiskey rested infront of him. He must have had at least five to six shots. Your eyes soften at this realisation and you made your way over to him. Seeing his sleeping face, you couldn’t help but give a small smile. He just looked so... breathtaking.

Gently nudging him, you tried waking him up. “Yeonjun, wake up, we need to get you home.”

“Y/n?” He said groggily, lifting his head as he slowly woke up, smell of alcohol in his breath.

“Hey, yeah it’s me.”

“You’re not y/n, she’s out with Kai. There’s no way she cared about me enough to come here.”

Hearing this left you at a loss for words. You didn’t care about him enough? It hurt your soul knowing that’s what he thought. The only thing you cared about was him. More than anything.

“It’s been a year and she hasn’t even noticed how much i love her. I love her to point it hurts me so fucking badly. I love her more than Kai ever will. But she always asks him to hang out instead of me. I wish i was her first choice, not him,” he continued, laying his head back down on his arms.

His sudden confession left you speechless. ‘Did he mean it? Or was it just the alcohol talking.’ A million thoughts ran through your head until Kai intrupted them by coming in to look for you.

“There you are, what’s taking so long? Let’s get him and go. Help me get him up,” Kai said, not wanting to stay in the bar any longer than required. After making sure yeonjun had all his belongings, Kai slung Yeonjun’s arm over his shoulders and lead him out of the bar and into the taxi.

Throughout the entire journey back, yeonjun slept peacefully in the back seat and you didn’t mutter a single sentence, his words still on your mind.

Being your best friend, of course Kai noticed something was wrong but he didn’t want to say anything since yeonjun was around, and who knows what he will remember when he sobers up.

After reaching the dorm, you thanked the taxi driver and got out. You opened the dorm door for Kai as he dragged the drunked inside and threw him on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh from all the exercise he’d just done.

Kai followed you into the kitchen as you prepared an aspirin and water for yeonjun when he woke up the next day.

“Okay, what’s wrong? You didn’t say a single thing the entire ride back. What happened before i found you in the bar? And don’t lie to me,” he said, using his arm to lean against the door frame, blocking the exit, preventing you from leaving till he gets a satisfactory answer.

You hesitated, “i... yeonjun... he confessed before you came in. But I’m sure that was just the alcohol talking. He also said he’s hurt by how you’re always my first choice and how I didn’t care enough about him.” You let out an awkward laugh, the glass of water making it obvious how badly your hand was shaking.

Kai’s eyes widened in shock, “that’s great, isn’t it? You like him and, revelation tonight, he likes you. You could ask him again tomorrow if you want. I doubt he’ll remember any of it.”

There was silence as you tried to process everything that happened tonight.

“You should stay here tonight, it’s really late, you can borrow some of my clothes. I’ll take care of him for a while, alright?” Kai continued, taking the glass of water out of your hands.

——————————————————————————

The next morning 8am

Yeonjun woke up, head pounding, throat dry. He couldn’t remember a single thing that happened the previous night. He remembered being angry, then sad, then... nothing. He didn’t even remember how or who got him home.

The dorm was quiet, the other boys hadn’t woken up yet. It was quite early, earlier than yeonjun was used to waking up. Sitting up, he noticed the water and aspirin sitting on the coffee table.

‘Who left this here?’ He wondered, knowing his members definitely wouldn’t do that. They would have been kicking and swearing at him for making them carry him home.

Along with the pill, he downed the glass of water and stood up. He wobbled a bit, legs still asleep but eventually regained his balance and made his way to the kitchen. He heard footsteps approaching him, but he figured it was just one of the boys.

“Oh yeonjun you’re awake, how are you feeling?”

He spun around on his heels, surprised to hear your voice, a voice he would recognise before he even saw your face.

“Y/n- good- good morning,” he stuttered after getting the air knocked out of his lungs. You looked adorable, hair messy, wearing an oversized tshirt that belonged to... Kai. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

“I didn’t know you stayed over. Massive headache, but I’ll get over it.”

“Drink a lot of water okay. Why did you drink so much yesterday?” You asked as you made your way to pour yourself a glass of water.

“Oh... i just... didn’t know my own limit i guess.”

Lies.

You let out a ‘hm’ in reponse. “Well, you said some funny stuff last night. Do u remember any of it?” You looked to the ground, not daring to make eye contact with him.

He shook his head.

A dry laugh escaped you lips as you contemplated if you should continue. “Well, i guess you... kind of confessed to me...” you trailed off as you felt a blush creep up to your cheeks.

Yeonjun’s mouth hung open as he looked for the right words to say. Millions of things running through his mind. Should he lie or should he just admit to it? I guess there was no point hiding his crush now, was there?

“Shit... I’m sorry if i made you feel awkward,” he looked down, hand scratching the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and continued, “I’ve liked you for almost a year now. I know you don’t see me that way and I’ve been trying to get over you for a while now, but i just can’t. Since the day i saw you, there’s been an arrow in my heart. I’m sorry.”

You dont see him that way? Gosh, he couldn’t be anymore wrong and it broke your heart. Without thinking, your arms were around him, engulfing him in a hug.

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever think i don’t care about you, because i do. I care about you more than anyone, because... i like you too... so much, since the day i met you.”

“Oh, thank god,” he let out in a breath, hugging you back, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “You wouldn’t belive how many times I’ve tried telling you and how many times i imagined you would say that.”

You stayed like this for a while, both too happy to say anything.

“You know, there’s a new cafe that opened recently. Would you want to go with me?” You asked, looking up at him, breaking the silence.

“Of course i would,” he replied, resting his forehead against yours. He was grinning like a cheshire, he had gotten his wish.

“Maybe i should have got drunk a long time ago,” he joked, making you giggle.

Just like that, yeonjun felt the arrow in his heart disappear. The once permanent scare was now gone, and he was happier than ever. All it took was a few shots and phone call.

=====================================

So this was a bit longer than i usually write. But i really enjoyed writing this, and hope you enjoy reading it!

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