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#like the show ended but in my heart i truly believe they will show up again just to say they are gay
teenidlegirl · 3 days
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꣑୧ ݁.﹒𝓖𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐁𝐘𝐄 .ᐟ
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ઇ ˚ ݂ ֹ ꒰ miguel o’hara 𝓍 fem!reader ꒱ ! ۟ ׅ ♡
˒ ♡ ៸៸𓂃  𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚  ˖ ׁ ⁩ .ᐟ  you never wanted your love to end but you will never be his again. time to say goodbye to the past, to the memories that will always be kept safe in your broken heart.
˒ ♡ ៸៸𓂃  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕  ˖ ׁ ⁩ .ᐟ  angst, established relationship, breakup, relationship negligence, no happy ending
( ꯭♡︎ ) ˖ ࣪ . love note ˒˒ heavily based on “goodbye” by marina, one of my favs of hers. i was feeling sad so i wrote this. ngl i did get a bit emotional writing this. also, first time writing pure angst.
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in the beginning, it was all perfect. you found the perfect partner to spend your life with. miguel was a miracle, the light you were seeking for. you were his too, as if you were meant for each other. you truly believed that; believed in love. every minute spent with him was precious, savoring it. he treated you so well, like a man worshipping his queen. such a real gentleman. everything he did always took your breath away, making your heart flutter even if it was the smallest thing. no matter what, even if he got home late, he always made time for you.
but, unfortunately, that changed.
as time went on, three years into the relationship, the rose petals began falling apart one by one in a slow fashion. those late nights of him coming home became a repetitive affair. you would stay up just to see him, not caring if you were losing sleep. once he showed up, a simple kiss on the forehead and a muttered “miss you” were his way of acknowledging you before heading to the bathroom to shower then head straight to bed, not even waiting for you.
this tedious thing continued on. by the time you wake up, empty sheets were beside you. everyday has been spent with loneliness. you knew miguel was a hardworking, dedicated man. he worked at alchemax, a time-consuming job. he was considered one of the best employees so it was expected of him to busy most of the time. but you didn’t think it would lead to him coming home so late. part of you felt selfish because you know how much he loved his job and how important it was. however, you can’t help but miss your boyfriend. even if it was for a few minutes just hugging each other would be enough.
but the petals continued to fall.
the late nights were so tedious to the point you gave up and went straight to bed. miguel would come home so damn late, walking in the door at 4:00 in morning. you stopped leaving leftovers for him since the food you made were untouched and left cold. he was so fucking busy that he started canceling dates, especially last minute. at first, you understood due to his job. but he kept doing it to the point that you got so sick of it. your boyfriend was barely around anymore. you felt so lonely. some nights, tears ran down your face as you softly cried to yourself.
that’s when you realized the spark died.
the relationship was falling apart, crashing down like a paper plane. miguel was neglecting you, neglecting the relationship you built together. it seemed like he was dating his job more than his girlfriend. that’s what pissed you off. you couldn’t take it anymore.
as much as you didn’t want your love to end, you didn’t want to live in this place of isolation and negligence. you had to end it all.
     ━━━━━━━━ ִ  ۫   ꒰ ♡ ꒱  ۫   ݂ ━━━━━━━━
nervously fiddling with your hands, heart pounding in your chest, you sit at the dining table waiting for miguel to come home. he texted that he got off early, for the first time. that was your green light to tell him it’s over, despite how much you don’t want to. the anxiety flowing through your body makes you a bit nauseous. part of you is afraid of his reaction. but honestly, would he care much since he’s been a neglectful asshole? you just have to wait and see.
the sound of door unlocking makes your heart stop for a moment. with anxious eyes, you watch your boyfriend enter the apartment.
“hola, mi alma.”
the nickname and soft smile on his face hurts you. that’s the first time in two months since he smiled at you, actually happy to see and acknowledge you.
he must’ve notice your anxious expression the way his brows furrowed a bit. “what’s wrong—“
“sit down, miguel.”
tension fills in the room.
with a confused expression, miguel obeys and sits across from you. “¿que pasa, mi amor? did something happen? did someone say something to you? did they hurt you? if they hurt you, i’ll—“
“you hurt me, miguel.”
those mahogany eyes went wide. “wh-what?” he sounds in pure disbelief.
“you’re the who hurt me.” audible pain in your voice, making him flinch. “these past two fucking months have been so shitty. i’ve never felt so miserable.”
miguel was about to say something but you continue on, not giving him the fucking chance.
“i-i feel so fucking alone in this relationship. i’m not even sure if this is a relationship anymore.” you scoff. “because you’ve been neglecting it, neglecting me.”
his stomach drops. oh he fucked up.
“it feels like a one-sided relationship, one-sided love. i’m the only one who’s making an effort, and i’m fucking tired of it, miguel!” you voice raises a bit.
“mi amor, i—“ he chokes. “i-i’m sorry. i didn’t—“
“look,” you cut him off again. “i understand how important your job is. believe me, i tried my best. but you completely forgot there’s more than just your job!” a thin layer of tears begin forming in your eyes. “you come home late and i don’t see you! i wake up and you’re gone! you cancel dates all the time or never show up!” you’re practically shouting.
the tears in your eyes makes his heart crack, making his own swell in tears as well.
“i miss you, miguel! i miss you all the fucking time! i tried to be understanding but i’m fed up!” you cried, a few tears trailing down your flushed cheek.
a single tear drop from his eye falls down his face. his heart breaks at your sad yet truthful words. miguel knew his was way too focused on work. but fuck he didn’t realized how it affected you to the point of making you cry. and he hates it when you cry, especially if it’s him that you made.
“mi amor, i-i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry for making you feel like this. i was so invested with work, i didn’t realized-“
“exactly, you didn’t realized because you were dating your job than your girlfriend.”
that sentence hurts him, because it’s the truth. oh he really fucked up big time.
“i-i…” he struggles to find the right words.
“it’s over, miguel.”
now that shatters his heart completely.
“w-wait, mi amor. please—“ miguel panics, reaching out to you but you back away. his heart breaks more.
you shake your head, tears continuously falling down your cheeks. “it’s over, miguel. i can’t be the only one putting effort into this relationship. i don’t wanna be lonely and ignored anymore.”
now he’s the one crying. “pl-please, mi alma. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. please don’t leave me. i promise to do better, to be better. please, just give me a chance. i need you, i can’t live without you. just please, mi alma. don’t leave me.”
“you’re the one who left me, miguel.”
miguel though his heart couldn’t break even more. he doesn’t want to lose you. he needs you, you’re his anchor, his sole reason to continue on, his reason to work so hard for. but that’s the exact reason why he’s losing you, was too invested in his work that he completely neglected you, the love of his life. pushed your needs and love away. now he has to suffer the consequences. to suffer the one fear he was deeply afraid of: losing you. especially by his own actions.
“i never wanted our love to end.” you flash him a sad smile, tears blurring your vision.
a night of tears, regret and sorrow. after the whole shitshow, you left. you packed all of your stuff because you knew this was your last time in this apartment. you weren’t going to stay any longer. despite how times miguel begged you not to go, even got down on his knees and cried out endless sorrys, you grabbed your bag and left.
miguel cried the entire night.
     ━━━━━━━━ ִ  ۫   ꒰ ♡ ꒱  ۫   ݂ ━━━━━━━━
it’s been eights months since the breakup. the tearful nights dimmed down but heart still broken. the aftermath is worse than the breakup. broken hearts are quick to burn but slow to heal. you’re not sure how long it will take for yours to heal.
you haven’t seen or spoken to miguel since. it’s ideal of course. after the breakup, you deleted his number and anything associated with him. before you did, he messaged you about giving him a chance to talk, to express his regret but you didn’t allow that. you were smarter than that. despite how much you still love him, you can’t let him in again. you can’t go through tears again, it would break you even more.
you truly never wanted your love to end. it was perfect from the start but not everything has a happy ending. that’s how life is. but your love is safe inside your memories, stored away in the back.
in the end, you will never be his again.
he had to say goodbye to the girl that he lost.
as you take one final look at pictures of you and miguel that were taken during your relationship before deleting them, you tell yourself one thing.
goodbye, my friend.
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© teenidlegirl. don’t steal, plagiarize, or translate my work. ♡
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dcllzai · 2 days
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Chuuya's Birthday!!
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Nakahara Chuuya x gn!reader. SFW. Fluff / It's Chuuya's birthday! time to set in stone all of today's wonderful gifts to give him the best day ever!! It's a last-minute birthday gift it's almost 12am when I post this...so sorry it is short :(
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As Chuuya's birthday approached, you started planning a special romantic date for him. From picking out a perfect venue to planning the activities and even considering a special surprise at the end...everything had been planned out and you were so eager to show your love to your fiancé. It was Chuuya's birthday and the day was finally here. You woke up early in the morning feeling more excited than ever. You could hardly believe the day was here and you were filled with the butterflies of excitement and anticipation as you got out of bed and went to start your day. You make a quick breakfast and prepare for the date ahead.
You took your time getting ready, taking extra care to look your best for your fiancé on his birthday. You went all out with making sure that you were dressed nicely and did your hair and makeup well. You also took extra care with picking out accessories to complement your outfit, wanting to make sure you look perfect for him. Once you were done getting ready, you went to wait at the door for Chuuya to arrive. Your heart was pounding and you couldn't wait to see him. The wait felt like an eternity, but finally, the doorbell rang and you sprang up to answer it.  Chuuya was standing, wearing his nicest suit and looking absolutely breathtaking. Your breath caught in your throat as you took in his handsome appearance, and you were completely floored by how great he looked. Chuuya smiled and took in your own beautiful appearance, and he was stunned by just how gorgeous you looked. It was like this was the first time that he'd truly seen you as the stunning woman that you were.
You both exchanged smiles and your heart skipped a beat as you took in the sight of his handsome face. Both of you were filled with the sweetest feelings of love and adoration as you looked into each other's eyes and couldn't help but feel completely charmed by one another. You both stood there for a moment, reveling in the loveliness between you two. You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered "Happy birthday, my love". He smiled and kissed your hand in response as you both continued standing there, soaking in the moment. Finally, you reached into your pocket and pulled out a small wrapped gift for him. A hat matching his current but wrapped in purple and blue flowers...the same flowers he had gotten you when he proposed... "You really love spoiling me on my birthday don't cha' doll?"
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vaedis · 2 days
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my goodbye’s to The Bad Batch.
Tech,
your mind is beautiful, and your heart is just as radiant. your selflessness is inspiring, and your drive for knowledge makes me want to know more. some may say that you are stuck up, but i see how much you truly love your family. you may process things differently than others, but you are worthy of the exact same love. i wish i could see your mind process more, i hope that you’re happy. may there be infinite knowledge where you are. you deserve the very best. i love you.
Wrecker,
you inspire me to be strong enough to be gentle. you have a beautiful soul, you make me laugh, and you are worthy of every delicious meal. you have protected your family well, and you have managed to do it with a smile on your face. i’m so proud of you for holding them together. i hope that wherever you end up, it is filled with laughter, full plates, and more excitement than you can wrap your head around. i love you.
Crosshair,
you are so worthy of love, never doubt yourself or your abilities. even if things aren’t necessarily the way they used to be, you are still worthy of love. i see the ways that you care for your family, and you are anything but a cold sniper. i am so proud of you for overcoming everything, even the things you don’t speak about, despite how difficult that may have been for you. i hope that you find rest, i hope that you heal, and i hope that you are happy. you deserve the best, Cross. i love you.
Omega,
you are such a light to your family. never doubt that, and never forget it. your brothers love you so so much, you have given them purpose. you changed them; you have done the best thing that anyone could have done for them. never forget how much you matter. you are so intelligent, beautiful, strategical, and you show so many positive traits of your brothers. there is such a wonderful purpose for you in this huge galaxy. never stop exploring, sweet girl. i love you.
Echo,
you have seen and overcome so much, and you have done an incredible job by remaining kind despite it all. you have always been a good soldier, and i hope that you never forget that. your wisdom, strength, and courage are inspiring. you are worthy of so many gentle and kind things. you work to make things right, and that is such an honorable trait to possess. anyone would be lucky to have you in their corner. i love your heart. i hope that you find the peace that you deserve, you are a good man. you deserve a happy ending. i love you.
Hunter,
you have been a good Sergeant; any team would be lucky to have you at the head. you have led your squad well, and i am so proud of you. never forget how loved you are. never forget how much they love you, and look up to you, and care about you. even when you think that the pressure is alone on your shoulders, you are never alone. the bad things were never your fault. you have grown into an honorable man, putting your family above it all. you have learned so much and come so far, and i am so grateful to have seen you change throughout the journey. you deserve peace, rest, and happiness. i hope that you are happy, wherever you are. i love you.
Clone Force 99 / The Bad Batch,
i love you all so much. i can’t believe that i’m saying goodbye to you all. you have made me feel so seen, you have made me feel like i’m not alone. the way that you love each other is so special; never forget to love each other above it all. look after your family, and honor those who have fallen. you have all been good soldiers, and even better men (and girl). i salute you, and i love you all. may the force be with you.
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tippenfunkaport · 1 day
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Momaport and I watched more She-Ra. We have now watched up through Princess Prom.
Some highlights and lowlights (because she didn't like these episodes as much as the last ones we watched)...
"Catra puts on a cocky attitude but she's just a scared kid." So true.
"Why does Castaspella have Goofy ears?" Truly a thing I ask myself constantly.
She has become a walking cliche because she can never remember Glimmer's name and calls her something different every time. She spent her entire discussion of Princess Prom calling her "Crystal" which pains me deeply.
She also keeps forgetting Mermista and calls her "fish one" which is just really funny.
Because of her complete inability to remember anyone's name ever, the whole Light Spinner is Shadow Weaver reveal was a legitimate plot twist to her which amused me.
She is a Glimbow truther, was on ship team day one even without my influence despite not liking Glimmer and not knowing what "shipping" meant, mostly because she loves Bow. I was given a passionate speech about how obvious it was that Glimmer and Bow love each other and only you, Tumblr, can appreciate the irony of someone else giving ME that speech and not the other way around. I mentioned that a lot of people claim they "came out of nowhere" and she was absolutely indignant and refused to believe that was a thing.
Relatedly, she doesn't believe Bow had a crush on Sea Hawk, she said he was "just fangirling." (She knows he's bi, that's just her read on that episode.)
Long impassioned speech about what a horrific childhood Catra and Adora had and how it's no wonder Adora is a stressed disaster.
She started talking about Princess Prom totally on Bow's side and mad at Glimmer and by the end of her speech somehow talked herself onto Glimmer's (oh, excuse me "Crystal's") side and was annoyed at Bow which was just funny to witness happen in real time.
"Entrapta reminds me of that one character... you know? The science lady? With the glasses?" I never found out what she meant by this. For all I know it means Entrapta reminds my mom of Entrapta.
"I don't understand why people these days are so obsessed with shipping, Why can't you just watch the show and enjoy the nice friendships?" (Mom is judging us)
She likes Catra and Adora a lot individually, but there is some naysaying about them becoming a couple, we'll see if she comes around. (She has never watched before, but knows most of the endgame ships just bc of hearing the kids and I talk about it.)
She's mad at me for showing it to her grandkids, because it's too violent and she doesn't approve. (I've been cancelled.)
*me explaining that Entrapta is autistic and people read Adora as ADHD* "Does everyone have to be something these days?" (alas, mom is still a cranky old person who wants us to get off her lawn but honestly she's far less cantankerous than I thought she might be about this show so I'll let it slide)
After Princess Prom, she said, "It's cute but I don't understand why you're all so obsessed with it. To me it's exactly like every other cartoon I've ever watched." which is an ARROW directly to my HEART but we'll see if she comes around once the plot really gets going. She generally doesn't like animation and is a straight boomer lady so I figured we'd have an uphill climb but STILL. Pain. We're going to keep watching it either way though because she said she likes hanging out with me and we're having fun. (I am a delight)
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crimsonhydrangeavn · 3 days
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I got a question for Garrett, what would happen if MC decided pamper him
Like complimenting him daily
Telling him to rest and spend time
Reminding him he's enough and that perfection isn't always the answer and that MC fell in love because who he truly is and not the one he shows outside of Saint Anne
Instead of going out to dinner, making home cooked meals and etc.
And also help him get the proper help he really needs. That poor baby needs a hug ;-;
Oh my, this is literally the sweetest ask ever! Just the thought of you taking the time to try and heal Garret warms my heart! So much so I'll can't help but share a few little spoilers about his past. I'll make sure to mark them so you don't accidentally spoil yourself if you don't want to!
Honestly, I think Garret's initial reaction would be to happily accept the compliments, home cooked meals, and quality time chalking it up as what a "healthy" relationship should look like. That being said, he would absolutely spoil you and reciprocate all of those sweet and loving gestures.
When it comes to the positive affirmations and being told that he doesn't need to be perfect... well it'll take some time for him to fully believe your words.
At first he'd think your just being kind and saying what expected of wonderful life partner. However, once it sunk in that you were being genuine and you actually meant it... He'd have a really difficult time accepting it.
SPOILER STARTS BELOW
Garret was raised to be his parent's golden only child. That being said, nothing he did was ever enough for his parents. Straight A's? Why not straight A+'s? You won first place in a race? Why aren't you competing in the nationals? What's that? You won a national competition? Why didn't you beat the previous record? Oh you did? Well you need to focus on other extracurriculars if you want to get into the same Ivy league school your father went to. Nothing he did was ever enough for them, however he was far better than his classmates when it came to nearly everything. Grades, athletics, extracurriculars, looks, body, social acumen, etc. All of the girls in his private school wanted to be with him and all of the guys wanted to be him.
However he never saw any of them to be worthy of his time, not until you came along that is...
END SPOILER
The thought of someone like you, the object of ALL of his affections, believing that he's worthy? That he doesn't have to run several miles a day and practically starve himself to maintain his model-esque figure? That he doesn't have to spoil you in riches beyond your wildest dreams?
It'll be a lot for him to understand and accept. However, once he finally believes your sincerity, the poor guy cling onto you and will break down into heart-wrenching sobs.
Finally, finally someone accepts him. Not for the perfect mask he's been trained to wear from a young age, but actually loves and accepts him for who he is on the inside.
And it's not just anyone. It's you. The one he adores, the one he's been completely and hopelessly devoted to since he first saw you, the only one that truly matters.
He would be a completely wreck, but with your patience and kind words he might actually have a shot at healing himself and actual redemption.
Of course, that'll all depend on your actions in and outside of game. ; )
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sneak-a-cat · 1 year
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The wlw characters i ship always have about 0 chances of becoming canon and i was all fine and good and accepting of this (fanfiction exists i could survive) until like 3 of them fucking became canon, so now i am staring at my other ships expecting them to do this same, like no bestie, my guy, those were the outliers, those were not the beginning of the gay revolution you so desperately want, i would go feral if they do and i am going feral as they do not, this is my villain origin story
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ghostfacd · 4 months
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SHE WAS LIKE A SHOT OF EPRESSO
pairing. tom blyth x actress!fem!reader (mentions of other actors x fem!reader platonically)
summary. in which you are the epitome of sunshine and radiance within your co stars OR all the times your co stars have talked interviewers’ ears off about you
installment of this au | read for context!
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Time 1: Tom Blyth
“How’s Y/N as a cast mate?”
That question shouldn’t make Tom Blyth smile that wide — but he does — because he’s so utterly and unconditionally inlove with you.
“Oh gosh, I wouldn’t even know where to start,” Tom begins. “As her boyfriend, I think I’m being pretty biased when I say this, but Y/N Avocot as a cast mate has honestly been the best experience of my life. There has not been a day where she doesn’t make me laugh so hard that my ribs start hurting, and there hasn’t been a day where she hasn’t made me smile.” He pauses for a moment, pondering the next words to say.
“Y/N’s just that type of person, you know? She’s like the warm sunlight that engulfs you every morning you open your curtains, she’s like that newly brewed coffee that helps hydrate and bring you back to life. She’s everything.” And he says this in such a loving manner that the interviewer practically awes, the cameraman zooming the camera to show Tom’s dilated pupil.
“Your pupils are dilated!” The interviewer mentions, laughing as she points towards his eyes.
“Oxytocin is a warm hormone that’s released when you talk about someone you love,” Tom shrugs. “All my friends say my pupils dilate when I’m near Y/N, that’s just the effect she has on people.”
“Well there it is folks! Tom Blyth is truly inlove with Y/N Avocot!”
Time 2: Sean Kaufman and Lola Tung
It was an interview discussing the new season of The Summer I Turned Pretty, and it consisted of Sean and Lola who’s schedules were the only ones that were open that day.
“Guys! We’re so happy to have you today,” the interviewer starts.
“Why thank you,” Lola smiles brightly into the camera, smoothing out her dress.
“So obviously, this season is very important to the plot, it contains so much new exciting storylines including Sean’s character, Steven Conklin, and Y/N’s character, Ella!”
“Yes,” Sean laughs, his eyes crinkling. “It was very fun filming the scenes with Y/N, she’s like that little rush of happiness that you just wanna keep inside a jar.”
“Actually!” Lola speaks up, crossing one leg over the other as she leans forward to the interviewer. “Now that Sean’s mentioning it, Y/N really is a rush of happiness. God, everyday on set, I always think ‘I’m gonna probably have to say my lines over a thousand times and be tired by the time I’m done’ but Y/N comes right in, and she’s always making funny faces behind the director which just fills my heart with joy and it’s those little moments that make acting really worth it you know? Like even though I’m dying re filming the same scene over and over again — I know that Y/N’s always going to cheer me up by the end of it.”
“Wow,” the interviewer laughs. “I haven’t even asked you guys about Y/N yet but she seems to be very loved by the crew.”
“Oh yeah,” Sean nods. “Everyone filming loves her. I mean, how could you not?”
And the interviewer thinks the same question, because after interviewing Tom Blyth, she really believes that you really cannot not love Y/N Avocot.
Time 3: Timothee Chalamet
“Timo!” The interviewer greets Timothee excitedly, moving the chair so he could sit.
“Jacob! My favorite interviewer,” and maybe Timothee’s lying, because he’s seen about a million interviewers by now, but it makes Jacob smile, not so much hating his job anymore.
“Your new movie, Miracles in Love, can you tell me more about that?”
“Yes,” Timothee takes a deep breath. “It’s about a boy and girl in their early twenties figuring out what they wanna be in life. My character, Louie Marcel, falls inlove with my co star — Y/N’s character — Maeve Jones after they bump into each other at the bar and talk about how depressing their lives are. It’s pretty funny, y’know. How easy it was to film with Y/N, in fact, it came all naturally.” Timothee pauses, a small smile playing on his lips.
“When you say naturally, what exactly do you mean by that?”
“Oh you know Jacob,” Timothee grins. “It’s easy to fall inlove with Y/N Avocot. She’s a remarkable actress, and everything that I filmed with her feels so real that it feels like I’m really Louie and I’m really falling inlove with a girl named Maeve at the local bar near my university.”
“Oh wow,” Jacob, the interviewer, can’t help but gush at Timothee’s endearing statement. “You must be very good friends.”
“Us? Of course!” He laughs as if it was one of the funniest statements on earth. “I’m really good friends with her boyfriend too, Tom. They’re honestly the sweetest couple, don’t know if I’m inlove with him or her. Maybe both,” he jokes.
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bellyapologist oh to be yn avocot and be so loved by her cast mates that they’re smiling each time they talk about her
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user1 literally like how do you not cry when you’re being called a literal rush of happiness
user2 lola and sean being so excited to talk about her even though the interviewer didn’t start the interview yet 😭
user3 shows that yn is rly a good person
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timotheesgf YN AVOCOT LET ME BE YOU PLEASEEEE LOOK AT HOW TIMOTHEE TALKS ABT HER GOD LIFE IS NOT FAIR
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user4 “it’s easy to fall inlove with yn avocot” FUCKKKKK
user5 “everything I filmed with her feels so real” oh tom and kylie are punching the air rn
user9 she must’ve saved a planet in her past life cause..
user10 same energy as “she was like a shot of espresso” 😭😭😭😔😔😔
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shijas · 1 year
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🥂!
#delete later#ranting softly in my tags again please ignore this post aha#sometimes i wonder how the people in my direct family see me! and maybe it’s cuz this holiday season i’ve been extra introspective#but i often feel vvv lonely ! which is like so silly because i don’t doubt they love me and i have what i always say are really good friends#to keep positive energy in the universe ! but there’s always this pressure when i’m around people ! how much of the real me can i be! what#is the limit before i become intolerable you know ? and it’s like if i can’t even been intolerable with the people who i would willingly#take the brunt of their own intolerability ? who will i ever allow myself to be myself around#and yeah idk i feel like to them i’m such an tough person? like i’m argumentative and whiny and childish but those are the earliest ways i#learnt not only how to defend myself but be myself in a sense#when i was younger my mum used to say i’m too soft hearted and kind#and i ended up in friendships and situations where that led to me being the only one hurting#and ultimately feeling lonely#but idk if they realise for all of these things at the end of the day i may show a bit my discontent towards their actions towards me#but i always give up! i always just go with whatever they decide to the point that i don’t really know how to voice my own opinions in#certain things since i’m so used to deferring#like i have gotten so used to accepting that ultimately the issue always lays with me and i have to change#because that’s what they want of me#and now i’m an adult who feels lonely by herself because she doesn’t know how to be herself around people she loves#who truly believes that no one loves the real her#facets of me are truly loveable ! and i think ik pretty well where my limits of toleration are but i live in fear#that one day everyone will have had enough#and more than that i like being lonely it feels safe most of the time ! if no one knows you how can they truly hurt you#but then why am i always hurt and why do i desepertaely sometimes feel the weight of the loneliness#anyway! what a bunch of probably incompressible babbling#happy new year i grit my teeth and lived so that’s how i shall continue
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snowsinterlude · 4 months
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stuffed.
(coriolanus snow x f. reader)
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summary: what better way to show your affection towards one than trapping them by your side forever? well, if there was one, president snow didn't knew about it.
c.w: forced breeding, baby trapping, president snow, cnc, slapping, forced creampie, possessiveness, stockholm syndrome at the end, fem. reader, reader is (was) a opera singer
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singing like there was no tomorrow was something you did quite often, being a opera singer to the capitol was the best thing that could've happened to you before. especially since you were from the districts.
so now, knowing the president is your fan (something you didn't expected, not even in a thousand years), you were singing your heart out at his parties. every bouquet of white roses he gave you always hid something. pearls, diamonds, earrings of white colored jews. he seemed to like white very much- even though his suit was always the red ones.
then, there was money.
the motive for him to give so many things was revealed when he was pinning you on the wall, the posca he drank seemed to have took control over his brain. somehow, you didn't mind it. maybe because the idea of being the president's favorite girl was something quite appealing- something your stupid self seemed to like very much.
feeling so desired, feeling so loved was something adorable, lovely. especially when he woupd promise you so many things.
you didn't believe any of them. you always made sure to be on the pill, always made sure to put a condom on his dick, always made sure to tell him to pull out when you didn't had a condom.
he was tired of it. he wanted you to be pregnant for him, wanted to see your belly showing through your clothes and the fantasies you used when performing. he wanted you closed on his room with your legs open and your pussy wet- he wanted to kill all of those who were thirsting over you, over the way your corset hugged your body so nicely and made your boobs bounce.
with that in his mind, you noticed just how rude he was tonight.
"i want you to be my wife," he said, midfucking. he would always say things like that while pounding inside you. it was crystal clear to you that he didn’t really wanted it, or so you thought, because his intention ever since he saw you was to fuck his babies into you and make you bear all of them.
"c-cory, let's talk about it later- oh, fuck!" you moaned, fucking yourself on him as his dick entered you so nicely, hitting all the right spots. as always.
you recieved a slap on your ass, accompanied by a thick, strong grab. "not later," he pounded inside you, hand on your waist, grabbing you so tightly you felt like you'd simply die at his touch. maybe it was a good thing. "now. 'wanna talk about it now."
you mewled as he thrusted inside your cunt again, his dick hitting all the right spots, from your cervix to your sweet g spot. "n-no, later, mm, truly."
he slapped your clit. it was getting rough now. you could notice from how hard he bit your nipple, it's not that you don't like it- it's just because you weren't ready for it.
"i'm serious, dove. i want you to be my wife." you didn't listen, too caught up in the pleasure, in the painful bites on your nipple, on the angry soft slaps on your swollen clit.
"s-stop it, you know i can't- i'm a performer, i-"
"i don't fucking care," he grunted, his nails buried into your skin "you're mine. from the moment i layed my eyes on you you were mine." he said, looking at your mewling melted state. "you're so wet, so tight on me, and yet you claim you don't want to be my wife?"
he laughed, as if telling a joke to himself, as if that was the biggest joke on the world. each two thrusts made you squirm, you already came some minutes ago. there were two condoms filled to the brim with his seed by your side on the bed of his guest room.
trying your best not to cum again, he took himself out of you, taking the condom of your side into his hands. he hated the texture. if it depended on him he would fuck you raw everytime. and yet there he was, obediently following your rules just to fuck you senseless.
"w-wait, what are you doing? stop. stop it! ah, fuck!" you squirmed at the hot feeling of his cum entering you, being poured inside of you, it felt so good you couldn't help but want more, for your own surprise. "p-president snow-"
"now is president? until some seconds ago it was coryo." he said, fingering his own cum inside you, making sure nothing would spill.
"p-please stop, i can't be pregnant-"
"you can." he stuffed you with it again, spilled all the cum of he other condom inside you "you will. i'll make sure of that"
taking the condom out of his dick again, the blonde introduced his dick into you again, smiling at the sight and the feeling of your wet cunt.
"fuck- look at you. so wet and still trying to say you don't want it." he smiled, nibbling on your nipple.
"n-no- i dont want to be pregnant, i can't- i have to sing!" you moaned, your hips meeting his with every thrust. you bucked your hips on him, did your best not to like it, but you couldn't lie to yourself, it was wonderful.
"if you don't want this then why are you fucking yourself on me?" his answer was a long moan you gave him, your nails scratching his back, burying themselves deep inside him. "god, you're a whore."
"p-pills. i-i need to find my pills!" you squirmed, your cunt tightening around him so deliciously god that you had to bite your bottom lip as to not let anything out- not to let him know you liked it, from his dick inside you to his cum stuffed into you.
"you wont find them," he smiled. "threw them away"
"oh fuck- pull out, p-pull out!!" you squirmed, but it was too leste already, you were cumming on his dick and he was laughing at you while pinching your clit.
"you said you didn't want that"
"i-i don't. i can't, i sing. my entire life revolves around singing"
"not anymore" he came inside you, dick throbbing into your cunt as you squirmed. "just for nome months, you'll be a caged bird."
the idea he pictured to you was terrible. a wife, always in white, drained out from taking care of two babies. even if the feeling of his cum inside you was terribly good, the thought of being a mother was your worse nightmare.
he proposed to you again the next night. and of course you had to accept. being a single mother is never good to a girl who were originally from the districts. a lot of the capitol's people were running their mouth already, saying you seduced him, manipulated him, or whatever it was.
it was the contrary.
but of course they wouldn't know that, not with your wings clipped together for you to not sing your way out.
not with your round belly showing up. not with the two babies on his arm and his. both looked like you both. your nose, his eyes. his mouth, your hair. you loved them.
maybe it wasn't so bad.
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eelhound · 5 months
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"I think Homer outwits most writers who have written on the War [fantasy archetype], by not taking sides.
The Trojan war is not and you cannot make it be the War of Good vs. Evil. It’s just a war, a wasteful, useless, needless, stupid, protracted, cruel mess full of individual acts of courage, cowardice, nobility, betrayal, limb-hacking-off, and disembowelment. Homer was a Greek and might have been partial to the Greek side, but he had a sense of justice or balance that seems characteristically Greek — maybe his people learned a good deal of it from him? His impartiality is far from dispassionate; the story is a torrent of passionate actions, generous, despicable, magnificent, trivial. But it is unprejudiced. It isn’t Satan vs. Angels. It isn’t Holy Warriors vs. Infidels. It isn’t hobbits vs. orcs. It’s just people vs. people.
Of course you can take sides, and almost everybody does. I try not to, but it’s no use; I just like the Trojans better than the Greeks. But Homer truly doesn’t take sides, and so he permits the story to be tragic. By tragedy, mind and soul are grieved, enlarged, and exalted.
Whether war itself can rise to tragedy, can enlarge and exalt the soul, I leave to those who have been more immediately part of a war than I have. I think some believe that it can, and might say that the opportunity for heroism and tragedy justifies war. I don’t know; all I know is what a poem about a war can do. In any case, war is something human beings do and show no signs of stopping doing, and so it may be less important to condemn it or to justify it than to be able to perceive it as tragic.
But once you take sides, you have lost that ability.
Is it our dominant religion that makes us want war to be between the good guys and the bad guys?
In the War of Good vs. Evil there can be divine or supernal justice but not human tragedy. It is by definition, technically, comic (as in The Divine Comedy): the good guys win. It has a happy ending. If the bad guys beat the good guys, unhappy ending, that’s mere reversal, flip side of the same coin. The author is not impartial. Dystopia is not tragedy.
Milton, a Christian, had to take sides, and couldn’t avoid comedy. He could approach tragedy only by making Evil, in the person of Lucifer, grand, heroic, and even sympathetic — which is faking it. He faked it very well.
Maybe it’s not only Christian habits of thought but the difficulty we all have in growing up that makes us insist justice must favor the good.
After all, 'Let the best man win' doesn’t mean the good man will win. It means, 'This will be a fair fight, no prejudice, no interference — so the best fighter will win it.' If the treacherous bully fairly defeats the nice guy, the treacherous bully is declared champion. This is justice. But it’s the kind of justice that children can’t bear. They rage against it. It’s not fair!
But if children never learn to bear it, they can’t go on to learn that a victory or a defeat in battle, or in any competition other than a purely moral one (whatever that might be), has nothing to do with who is morally better.
Might does not make right — right?
Therefore right does not make might. Right?
But we want it to. 'My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure.'
If we insist that in the real world the ultimate victor must be the good guy, we’ve sacrificed right to might. (That’s what History does after most wars, when it applauds the victors for their superior virtue as well as their superior firepower.) If we falsify the terms of the competition, handicapping it, so that the good guys may lose the battle but always win the war, we’ve left the real world, we’re in fantasy land — wishful thinking country.
Homer didn’t do wishful thinking.
Homer’s Achilles is a disobedient officer, a sulky, self-pitying teenager who gets his nose out of joint and won’t fight for his own side. A sign that Achilles might grow up someday, if given time, is his love for his friend Patroclus. But his big snit is over a girl he was given to rape but has to give back to his superior officer, which to me rather dims the love story. To me Achilles is not a good guy. But he is a good warrior, a great fighter — even better than the Trojan prime warrior, Hector. Hector is a good guy on any terms — kind husband, kind father, responsible on all counts — a mensch. But right does not make might. Achilles kills him.
The famous Helen plays a quite small part in The Iliad. Because I know that she’ll come through the whole war with not a hair in her blond blow-dry out of place, I see her as opportunistic, immoral, emotionally about as deep as a cookie sheet. But if I believed that the good guys win, that the reward goes to the virtuous, I’d have to see her as an innocent beauty wronged by Fate and saved by the Greeks.
And people do see her that way. Homer lets us each make our own Helen; and so she is immortal.
I don’t know if such nobility of mind (in the sense of the impartial 'noble' gases) is possible to a modern writer of fantasy. Since we have worked so hard to separate History from Fiction, our fantasies are dire warnings, or mere nightmares, or else they are wish fulfillments."
- Ursula K. Le Guin, from No Time to Spare, 2013.
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totalswag · 27 days
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worthy of love — RAFE CAMERON
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authors note something short and cute for you guys. also, rafe deserves to be treated with the love that he desires. he just wants to be understood yall.
paring mean!rafe x soft!reader
summary soft!reader wants to show mean!rafe that he's worthy of love but he pushes reader away until one day he finally knows what love truly feel like.
warnings neglect, feeling unworthy of love, ward being a shitty father, and a lovely happy ending.
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Rafe Cameron believed he would never be capable of love in his life.
Raised in a family where love was a rare commodity, Rafe grew up believing that affection, vulnerability was a weakness that should be avoided at all costs. But little did he know that someone was about to turn his life upside down and teach him the true meaning of love.
You.
His father, Ward Cameron, is part of the reason Rafe is the way he is. Ward tells him to man up rather than express his feelings and be vulnerable. Overall, his father has never treated him with the proper care compared to his two younger sisters. This sent Rafe into a downward spiral, leading to a darker path in his life. Rafe held his guard up.
You entered his world like a breath of fresh air, bringing with you a warmth and tenderness he had never felt before. Rafe first rejected your presence, pushing you away with his harsh remarks and cold demeanor. But you saw through his strong facade, understanding the agony and vulnerability that lay underneath the surface.
"Why do you treat me like this? I’m not someone that deserves to be loved." 
Rafe was initially perplexed as to why, of all the people on the island, someone as kind and gentle as you would want to be with him. 
One of the many things Rafe would tell you when you tried to show him that he’s capable of being loved by someone, he would shut you out immediately when you tried showing him.
People said you were crazy for pursuing Rafe Cameron. His reputation in Kildare is immense. You just chose to ignore what other people had to say because you felt Rafe deserved love.
The first time you heard those words come out of his mouth, your heart broke into a million pieces. Behind all of the roughness, coldness, and unpredictable behavior, he is someone who wants to be loved.
Rafe continued to push you away for the longest time, hoping you would get the hint. Finally, giving in after protracted arguments. For far too long, he had kept his guard up to protect himself. He did not want to feel weak for expressing himself. Rafe noticed how long you stayed by his side.
You gradually began to break down the walls Rafe had placed around his heart. You showed patience and understanding by refusing to give up on him, even when he tried to push you away. Rafe became increasingly drawn to you as time passed, yearning for the love and acceptance that had always escaped him.
Rafe started to trust again as your relationship deepened. He progressively exposed a gentler, softer side of himself, something he had never seen before. He realized there are individuals out there, like you, who care passionately and will be by his side through thick and thin.
All he ever wanted was to feel fully understood and seen. You came into his life when he was in the deepest pain and saved him. You showed he’s worthy of love, compassion, gratitude, and vulnerability are truly like, and there is nothing wrong with it. He transformed into a very different person than anyone could have predicted.
"You're the most amazing person I've ever laid eyes on, baby," Rafe said with a lovely smile on his lips, sliding the front strand of your hair behind your ear as you moved your body closer to his and closed your eyes.
“I love you so much rafey” kissing his bare shoulder a few times.
“And I love you more,”
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my taglist!
✰ if you would like to be added to my taglist and be notified whenever i post please let me know in the comments or in my ask box. if there's a line across your name that means i couldn't find your account.
@chenslucy @winterrrnight @rosezza @solanathascientst @runningfrom2am @brooklynscherry-z @johannelis2302nely
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animeshotsh · 3 months
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Thats MY kid | Dad!Lucifer x Kid!Reader x "Uncle"Alastor |
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Summary: Alastor wants to take you out for some time with him!
Warnings: SFW | Probably OOC | Uncle!Alastor | Slight!YandereAlastor | Cursing | Canon violence | Canon hell |
Alastor tried to convince himself he was doing this to piss Lucifer off. No, he did not have any type of attachment to you, he did not see you as his own kid (even if you totally ignored his half request to be called dad when not being around Lucifer). And no, he was not hurt by that.
Right?
Yeah well no. You had touched his heart somehow and now Alastor was down bad, he swears you must have some type of demonic magic (and not just you being you and being amazing) because no one (only his mother) made him feel so much love in his life or after life.
"Uncle?" Your voice called him making Alastor look at you with his signature simile. "Why was dad angry when you showed up?"
~☆~☆~☆~
Earlier that day.
"ABSOLUTLY NO. GET OUT FROM MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW" Lucifer screamed at the radio Demon who just stared back.
"My my, I never had you for the possesive type of dad, with how much freedom you have give Charlie"
"Dont bring my daugther into this" Lucifer said almost breaking a pen. "We both know you want to take (Y/N) out just to get to me. And im not letting you create fake hopes for that kid. That kid is mine Alastor, maybe not by blood but its mine. And I promised I would protect them, for anything and anyone. You can piss me off however you want but dont bring (Y/N) into this".
Well fuck, Lucifer did care for you.
Also, fuck you Lucifer. You did not know how he felt (hell, not even Alastor knew how he felt towards you). After meeting you at the hotel, seeing you interact with the others and also play with his shadows, something started to form inside the old killer. And it got worse when you ran to him asking him how the radio worked, his insides making flips as he explained you.
He also did almost break when you were saying goodbye and hugged his legs. If that was any other Demon they would have ended dead on the spot. But it was you, and it felt right.
"Listen" Alastor started smile still on his face but his tone serious "Im not that low to bring (Y/N) into our....fights. You May not believe me but I care for that kid, if I did not for sure I would not have give him one of my shadows to protect them"
"Wait-you did what-"
"The point is" Alastor interrumped static forming "I dont plan on giving they fake hope, and thats all I Will say"
Silence passed for seconds that felt like hours, finally Lucifer nodded.
"Alright, i will let you take them for today, BUT anything and I mean anything happens to them, you will no longer be here" Lucifer said his tone for once being truly the one from a king of hell.
Alastor just nodded, taking his cane being ready to be out with you for the day.
"Oh and Alastor, I dont trust you. But i want (Y/N) to get here what they missed in life, so dont fuck this up"
~☆~☆~☆~
"Nothing your silly head must worry about!" Alastor assured you. However your face did show you were not buying what he said.
"Smile my Dear!! You know you are never fully dressed without one!!" Alastor tried again, stopping to take your hand and make you spin. Your laught coming out quickly making him relax.
"There it is!" He exclaimed then continue to walk besides you. Right now you two were in the cannibals town. For other demons and sinners this part was even more dangerous than the regular hell. But for Alastor it was like his home, demos in here knew him and liked him, and that extended to you as well. A few had waved and smiled, fresh blood showing. But Alastor had made sure you did not see any dead body, or parts of one.
"Now I have a suprise for you!, I have a friend who owns a restaurant and she accepted to take us in"
"...as food or clients?" You asked joking making the radio Demon smirk, radio laughts in the background.
"Well, since she is my friend, we are clients of coruse" Alastor responded getting a nod from you. "Of course you wont be eating anything...special, regular food I promise"
~☆~☆~☆~
When you two entered the restaurant you found it to be empy....aside from some workers who came quickly to guide Alastor and you to a private room with a big table.
There, on one of the chairs a very pale Demon with deep black eyes stood. Noticing Alastor she got on her feet coming closer.
"Alastor, its so good to see you again" she beamed at the radio Demon stopping a few inches away.
"And who may this little creature be?"
Jokes, Rosie knew who you were. He had to listen to Alastor talk about how unfair it was that you had decided to call Lucifer dad and not him.
Being by Alastor side gave you confidence so you took some small steps closer to her.
"Im (Y/N), im Alastor newphew" You stated proudly making Rosie smile showing her sharp teet.
"Thats wonderfull, now please sit I have prepared the best for both of you" Rosie exclaimed calling over the workers who appear to help the three of you settle down.
"For you my friend, I got you the finist meat from this side of hell" A plate with fresh flesh was presented making Alastor almost growl at it. "And for you little one a bird told me you loved chocolate" a big space on the table was now occupied with the biggest and most extravagant chocolate cake you have ever seen.
"I-its that all for me?" You asked not believing it. Getting a nodd from Rosie "and I cant eat all of it?" Again a nodd.
You almost cried when the first slice was put in front of you. No one ever got you cake in the living world.
"Oh and to help you not chocke with that, Alastor I have some.." Rosie paused looking for the right words seeing how you were now devouring the cake "a very special drink" she finally said, a bottle with red liquid appear. And for you, I prepared a mix of appel juice and strawberry" she said getting the most pure look from you.
"Thank you Miss"
"Oh, just call me Rosie" she responded.
~☆~☆~☆~
Turns out you ate most of the cake and now the sugar had gave you too much energy. Rosie had asked her workers to play with you some game of tag, without biting.
And hell, you were fast. Outrunning the old demons and even letting chairs fall to prevent them from coming closer.
Rosie used this moment to dig as much information about you from Alastor as she could find.
"So, Lucifer just decided to take them in? What a strange guy" she said sipping her own drink. "And now you are taking care of them?"
Alastor nodded "yes, you must see Lucifer's face when I show up and (Y/N) calls me uncle, he its so angry"
"But you truly care for them" Rosie stated. "You would never have asked me to prepare something that does not come from sinners or demons knowing where you are. You also made me order the town to keep the body display low to protect them"
Rosie could read Alastor as an Open book.
"Uncleeeee" your call alerted the overlords, seeing you running towards them with the biggest smile on your face. "The other said they are too tired to keep running after me, does this mean I won?"
"Well centraly!! I knew no one would be able to catch you. You are my relative after all"
You nodded and smiled going back to your chair to drink more juice. "This is amazing. Thanks a lot Mi-Rosie!"
"Aww, arent you the cutest" Rosie beamed her hands squishing your cheecks.
~☆~☆~☆
After the food and some more talking Alastor decided it was time for you to go back with Lucifer (and no, it was not because he had got at least 666 messages from him).
Rosie had told you to come whenever you wanted that no one would hurt you in her town.
~☆~☆~☆
"I had a great time Uncle!" You told Alastor as the big castle started to show in the distance.
"Well im glad Dear! Dont forget to tune the radio for my program tonight" Alastor said petting your head.
"I wont! Dad hates it but I love it, specially that music you use...ummmm jazz?"
Alastor started to think that just kindapp you and made you his kid instead would be for the best.
"(y/n)!!" A very distinct voice screamed
"DAD!!"
But he would not want to hurt your feelings so, seeing you from time to time would have to do.
He waited for the exchange to end, Lucifer asking you what have you done and also making sure you were not hurt. After that he nodded to himself.
"Alright, now go inside, Xin has prepared you a bath"
You nodded but turned towards Alastor going for his legs again to hug him.
"Thank you uncle!! No one ever took me to a restaurant or got me cake. Lets meet again soon" you smiled up to him showing pointy teet.
Before he could respond you were running inside the castle with a very worried maid behind you.
~☆~☆~☆~
"Well..looks like you did not ruin this" Lucifer stated seeing you run off.
"I told you I would not" Alastor responded offended. "(Y/N) has potential to grow up to be a powerfull sinner (no you did not) of course im going to look over them"
Lucifer just shoot Alastor a knowing smile then turned around to enter his home.
"Thanks for not breaking his heart" he finally said then the doors closed behind him leaving Alastor alone.
Of course he could not bring himself to do that, even if he wanted to. You were his newphew. His. Not someone else.
And no one breaks the things he loves.
Not even himself.
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spidernuggets · 3 months
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stole this thought from my friend 🫶
Jason loves taking showers with you. And not only for the times when he takes the opportunity to bend you over as you lean against the wall.
But he loves the bare skin to skin contact. He loves to remember what you feel like, and he likes to remember your touch. He likes the way you trace his scars that he believes tainted his body while you smeared body wash all over him. You always scolded him that the 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash weren't as effective as advertised.
But you don't see his body as tarnished or ruined. His scars became a part of him. Just another feature that you love. He liked the way his back was turned. The suds quickly slid down the waves of his muscles. The way your index finger traced along the large, healed gash along his shoulder that stopped at where his spine was located.
He shuddered, and his heart raced when you placed a kiss on it. Like you did with every other scar.
This was your ritual.
You'd wait for him to come home to you, and when he did, he'd stench of gunpowder and iron. So you'd strip away his suit, he can finally breathe, his adrenaline dying down, and you drag him along into the shower.
In some nights where he had some extra energy, the late night showers would end with the water being lukewarm and mixed with both of your milky slicks.
But during most nights like these, he absorbs your soft affection, letting your hands roam and explore his body, loosening up the knots in his upper back, massaging his shoulders.
And when he turns back around to face you, his body towering over you as he blocks the water's path down to you, his arm reaches for your sides, hands following down the shape of your figure. His fingers smooth over the water that makes your skin glisten under the artificial light, calloused palms against your smooth hips, gently squeezing them, pulling you closer.
He rests his chapped lips against your forhead, whispering, 'I love you's as you say it back, the sounds of splashing water muffling your confessions.
You always loved showering with Jason right when he gets home. And it isn't only because you get to see him naked under 5 minutes after he comes through your fire escape. But also because you discover new features around him, sometimes in areas where you wouldn't particularly see when he's fully clothes.
There would be a new wound that you wrapped in waterproof bandages before stepping into the shower. But you'd make a mental note to give the new permanently damaged skin as much love, care and devotion as the rest of Jason's body.
You loved showering with Jason because it was an opportunity for you to appreciate him, his body, and the flaws that come with it. It was an opportunity for you to show your endless love for Jason because you know that he needs the constant reminder that someone truly loves him. And to prove the horrible voices that gnaw the back of his head, telling him that he's not good enough that they're wrong.
Because Jason is more than enough. Because you love him as much as he loves you.
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lex-the-flex · 1 month
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Drinking the Water of Life
Paul Atreides x reader
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He didn't want this. He never wanted this to happen. So why now? And why did it have to you?
From the moment Paul Atreides claimed his Fremen name, he prayed this wouldn't have to happen. But it did. While his mind was clear and open, yours remained foggy and closed off. If it was up to him, he would've kept you there, with your limited visions of the future.
But he loved you with all his heart.
And he couldn't see you suffer any longer without him. Paul chose you to rule at his side, after all.
Returning to your place in the shared communal room, Paul offers you a small smile before returning to his meal.
"How are you? I haven't seen you all day." He whispered so only you could hear.
"I'm alright. The water extractors are holding up. You should've seen all the packs I had to carry. Stilgar was impressed that I could carry thirty pounds for three straight miles." You explain.
Finally being able to relax at Paul's side, you notice how his blue within blue eyes look at you. While he's proud of you, something else lingers behind his orbs.
"Paul, what is it?" You ask.
Setting down his bowl, he takes your hands in his with a gentle grasp. Calmly stroking his fingers over your knuckles, he leans closer, his lips inches from your ear.
"I need you to travel South with me. Just the two of us, on a private mission before the others make the journey. I need you by my side, Y/N." He explains.
Calmly nodding your head, you instantly knew what he meant: you had to drink the Water of Life. The others knew it too, spreading rumors that stung like needles into your back. How you weren't worthy of loving Paul, the Muad'dib. Even the other Fremen began to question your loyalty.
As you were an outsider like Paul and his mother, Jessica, you remained faithful to House Atreides as it was one of the final commands given to you by Duke Leto himself. But now you had to truly prove yourself, you had to show everyone why Paul chose you above any other Fremen girl in your sietch.
"Okay, Paul. I will follow your hand until the very end. I will follow Muad'dib, my Usul, with an open heart." You declare as he pulls you in for a loving embrace.
*****
Guiding you further into the Southern temple, Paul never lets go of your hand. The beautiful sanctuary pulls you in with its calming circular architecture and stillness. Leading you to the main chamber, Paul is welcomed by another Fremen fundamentalist showing him the utmost respect.
Discovering a pool of water, you wander over to it before noticing the presence of a small sandworm swimming in the cloudy liquid. Scrunching your brows at the rapidly moving creature, Paul places his hand on your shoulder.
"It's time, Y/N."
Joining Paul and the Fremen member, she holds a jar containing a bright blue liquid that appears even sharper than the blue within blue eyes themselves. Feeling your breath catch in the back of your throat, you begin to panic, even taking a step away from Paul.
Placing a hand over your chest, your bare fingertips try to find solace in the sand covered stillsuit, and your own heartbeat echoes against your eardrums.
"It's alright. It's alright, Y/N. I'm here." Paul advises, leaning his forehead against yours.
Holding the nape of your neck in his hands, his dark curls tickle the edge of your face.
"I... I don't know if I can do this, Paul. I can't fail you." You say as your lip begins to quiver.
"You can. I believe in you. House Atreides believes you. You can do this, Y/N, just as your Usul before you." Paul replies, stroking your cheek.
Calming your breathing, you quietly nod before Paul, coming to your decision.
Laying down in between the stone pools, the Fremen offers you the glass bottle, lowering the top of the spout into your open mouth. Drinking the cold liquid, you swallow the water, and it enters your system. Taking your hand in his, Paul rubs your knuckles whilst your body goes numb.
Convulsing on the stone, every inch of your body writhes in pain, from the temples on your head, to your very reproductive system. A terrifying scream releases from your damp lips as the visions of the future, past, and present dance along the thin skin of your eyelids. Then, as soon as they appear, the prophecies of the future disappear within seconds.
You were cold, numb, in between the land of the living and the dead.
Offering the bottle to Paul, tears begin to fall on his face, and he mixes the salty drops with the freshwater.
Pressing the water to your lips, Paul bends down and kisses you lips, allowing you to return to him once more.
Feeling his lips leave your own, your eyes open, and you are awake. Your mind was open and Paul took you into his lap, studying your new set of eyes with all the love he could give you.
taglist ~
@dreamliners
@visionsofsweettea
@xplore-the-unknwn
@kaleidoscope1967eyes
@shions-new-blog-of-stuff
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hoeforhao · 9 months
Text
🏷 Kidult ▪︎ Choi Seungcheol Fic ▪︎
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↷ pairing: dad!seungcheol × fem!reader (feat!jeonghan)
↷ genre: heavy angst, fluff towards the end, mentions of childhood trauma, sort of arranged marriage? cheol and reader have a daughter together, lots of dad seungcheol content!!!
↷ summary: can trying to relive the childhood you never got to experience, through your daughter be the reason of your husband's irk?
↷ part: 1/4 pt.2, pt.3, pt.4
↷ w.c: 2.5k
↷ author's note: part 1 is here finally!! will try to post part 2 by the end of this week, and part 3 will be a bonus smut which will be published on cheol's birthday♡
If you want to be added to this fic's taglist, drop a comment under this post ; my ask box is open too♡
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Motherhood was truly a blissful chapter of every woman's life. Seeing your child growing up in your arms, her little legs stomping through the grass to join her playmates, often tumbling down on her way, her father going completely nuts over the itty bitty scratches on his princess,made you feel a joy not even billion dollars could buy.
But that's definitely not something you believed in before getting married to seungcheol or even when you announced to all of your family, that you were about to birth a small little version of your husband and their son.
While his child swelled in your belly, his ignorance and indifference towards you, swelled in your heart. Although it would be downright selfish to say that seungcheol didn't take care of you during your pregnancy, but you surely weren't that naive to not understand it was all for the wellbeing of his daughter.
Well some people unlike others are just destined to go through life like a soldier, bound to only their duty without the luxury of enjoying worldly pleasures - that's what you've been telling yourself since your childhood, all throughout your marriage but now...now it's different.
As selfish as it may sound, your daughter Hana's childhood now gave you a newfound hope of reliving those years of your life that you never got to cherish....being as carefree and jolly like a two year old, sleeping every night with a teddy tucked under your arms without any thoughts about how to deal with this cruel world.
You were so consumed in your thoughts that you failed to notice the cinnamon pie set in the oven being slightly overcooked along its edges.
"Shit shit shit you cannot mess this up y/n!!! Cheol and Hana are crazy over your cinnamon pie and the last thing you wanna do is disappoint your daughter and his father" you mentally cuss at yourself while taking out the pie pot from the oven as quick as possible....mildly burning your fingers in the attempt.
A thud of the main door shitts your concentration from your burned fingers to your hall, which is now being adorned by Hana's giggles upon seeing her father.
"Dada is home princess! What has my girl been doing all day without her daddy huh" seungcheol literally throws his coat on the couch before hopping towards his beloved daughter, taking her up in his arms in one quick lift and peppering the little ball's mochi cheeks with kisses.
"I played a lot with momma today daddy, and you know you know we even threw a birthday party for Bella hehe" Hana started blabbering out her entire day's routine to her father, sitting on his lap, her head resting on his chest,as seungcheol kept on playing with his daughter's silken locks.
"That's why my cupcake is all dolled up right now huh, I see" seungcheol's arms wrap around Hana's waist tightly while patting her hair. "Do I look like a princess dwaddy?"
"When does my Hana doesn't look like a princess, baby! You're royalty, my little highness" you were watching such a dreamy cinematic sequence of a perfect loving family being played out infront of you, from behind the kitchen counter....the catch being you were just a part of this trio only for a show to others.
"Daddy daddy can we go to the park tomorrow pwease" your daughter surely knew that her puppy eyes was cheol's biggest weakness and that's what she used everytime to make her father tend to all the tantrums.
"Anything for my babygirl. But first you've to stop looking at me with those eyes or dadda's heart will burst from cuteness babie" hana's adorable beads were now paired with her dad's dimples making your heart swell at the view. Two of your cutest dumplings.
"Come on now enough talking you two! Who wants to have the first bite of the pie?" you break off your glare from the duo and bring out the piping hot plate of freshly baked crust from the kitchen and set it on the table before them.
"Me me me" "No me" "No daddy me. Won't you let your princess have the first bite" one pout from Hana and seungcheol melts into a puddle, stuffing her small cheeks with the first bite of the pie by himself. "Next time dadda will win for sure!!!" a small hmph leaves your 27 year old husband's lips.
"So when are we going out tomorrow?" you press your lips into a smile like an excited puppy, putting a halt to the father daughter's playtime...your eyes glistening up at the thought of the beautiful day ahead.
"We'll leave after breakfast" seungcheol's stern voice echoes around the hall, awaring you of the void of emotions he has dug out only for you, his wife and the mother of his child.
"Oh okay! Come on Hana it's bedtime bub." you swing her up into your arms, marking your steps towards her bedroom. "No mowmmy I wanna play more with daddy please"
"No baby. We gotta wake up early tomorrow for the park right? There you can play with dad all throughout the day. Okay love?" you plant a goodnight kiss to your daughter's temples before tucking her into her soft Cinderella sheets.
"My cute round munchkin" one last loving glance at Hana and you put off the lights of her room to let her drift into the happiest dream ever, without any tension of the cruelties of the outside world.
Changing into a soft satin robe and tying your hair up into a bun, you finally settle yourself under the duvet of your shared bedroom with seungcheol, your back facing him, wishing ever passing moment, that at least once he wraps you around his arms. But you know better, that he never will.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ・・・・☆・・・・
"YAH CHOI HANA WALK SLOW!" screaming at
that poodle of sunshine waddling away in utter haste, you try to match her pace, literally all breathless and panting.
After a fruitless attempt to follow your spawn of Satan going absolutely haywire about being in a park with her daddy, you curve up your back, sweating like a pig looking for some air ; a pair of cold petite hands lands on the crook of your neck.
"Who the fuc - oh my god Mr notepad ass what are you doing here!!" your face instantly harbors the biggest smile upon seeing your childhood bestfriend after literally months.
"Come on girl, you meet the heartthrob of the town, and this is how you greet him? Girls swoon over m - ah ouch y/n lord my future gen " hearing jeonghan blabber 'bout being a hot cake was downright torture for you, when the man literally had no cake to offer!!!
"Yeah yeah sure that's why you used to ask me to find you a girl, pheww!!" a big smug visible clear in your eyes.
"sigh Is this how you welcome your bestfriend after almost an year??!!" han knew that him giving you those angel eyes will make your composure melt in a matter of seconds and that's exactly what happened.
"Oh come on! I was joking! You know I love you, you little bunny" you instantly wrap your arms around han's waist tightly, while pouting like a puppy yourself, as he returns the gesture in a blink.
"Except the cake part tho, hehe!" a slight pinch lands on his butt as you free yourself from him to walk to the ride's counter, hand in hand. Your heart was fluttering like a flock of doves, because you could let your true self take control only when with jeonghan, from laughing like a five year old, being a naughty tease to smiling wide like the sun. Why so? Because apparently seeing you letting your inner child out in the open, irked your 'husband'.
"Oh the main question! Why are you here? That too at a theme park!!!" shooting an interrogative glare towards jeonghan you march away through the crowd like a happy squirrel.
"I'm here with Nabi, and my little bunbun Byul. She literally manipulated me into taking her to this park. ME! THE YOON JEONGHAN BEING MANIPULATED. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT! I guess she learnt it from her dad only" jeonghan blurted out almost an entire verse within seconds, and you felt nothing but sheer joy being reunited with the only who who cherished your presence, after so long.
"There they are" you look over the thick mass to see Seungcheol and Hana standing by the ride, her little pinky entwined with her father's dainty yet strong digits, while pulling onto jeonghan's arms to run towards your family.
Cheol's face turns slightly dark watching you beaming with joy being arm tied with another man, that was not him. He knew jeonghan was your bestfriend from the time your wedding bells rang but....there was this feeling in his heart against Han, that he could never justify.
"Hey Seungcheol. How you've been? Grown quite buff huh!" Jeonghan playfully slaps Cheol's muscles, earning a sort of irritated groan and a tight smile from him.
"Looks like someone's jealous!" you lean your body over jeonghan's shoulder, whispering into his ears which lands you into being tickled by him like crazy, in public.
"Okay okay I'm sorry, s-stop!" Han's devilish hands finally leaves your body, as yout chest heaves up and down, breathless from laughing an entire year's worth.
"Umm hmm" cheol clears his throat as he tries to break off the *not so desirable scene rolling out infront of him* "we should get Hana going on the ride now, she's growing quite impatient"
"Omg yes so sorry baby mom got distracted" you take Hana from her father's grip. "Cheol cheol let us get on the ride too na? Pls!!! Pls!!" pulling onto your husband's biceps, being in a trance of happiness and forgetting that he's Choi Seungcheol and not your buddy, Jeonghan -
"Stop behaving like a kid y/n! You're twenty seven and a mother to a two year old! Fuckin act like one" each and every word that left cheol's lips carved out a new wound in your heart. Though he's right anyways....you don't deserve to fool around like a happy child....you never did....
"I'll call Nabi and Byul too. Both of them can enjoy their visit that way then" jeonghan steps in to somewhat chase away the cloud that was near to pouring down over the four of you "and Byul is herself quite fond of her bestfriend Hana anyways. They would love this set up" Han's lips curl up into a forced smile as he walks off to fetch his own family.
"I i'm sorry" you let go off Hana's tiny fingers, as soon as jeonghan leaves,leading her to the ride's entrance. "Hold on tightly to the bars, okay? Mom will be right here" your soft sweaty hands cup her cheeks before she turns around to go get seated on her most awaited part of the day.
Seungcheol's face is painted with guilt and regret, as he watches over his small family - while her daughter is glaring brighter than the sun with soulful joy, his wife is standing all gloomy beside the long sheep haired guy he have always envied.
"Mommy the ride was amazing. You know Byul was scared hehe. She was holding onto my arms" your daughter waddles down the metal stairs, her bestfriend following soon after, both of their faces all sweaty and glinting from the little adventure.
"N-no i was not, i i just tried to k-keep Hana safe" the two year old blurts out, trying to protect her pride, while her dad scoops her up into his arms, drying off her face with his shirt.
"Yes you're my strong and brave bun, I know that baby" jeonghan places open mouth kisses on his daughter's face, shifting her to her mother's arms gently, placing a gentle kiss on his wife's forehead in the process.
Such a beautiful family. A word that would never fit your own -
"I - I'm taking the girls to have some ice cream" seungcheol breaks the silence that has now creeped up onto your face. "Wanna j-join us, y/n?" no matter how much he tries to act cool or indifferent, the words he threw at your merry face just few minutes back, refuses to leave his mind, engulfing his form in severe shame and agony.
"No I would like to stay back. You three go ahead" the change in your tone was clear enough for even a stranger to notice....and jeonghan has known you for twenty whole years.
"Nabi you accompany the girls and seungcheol. We two will be waiting for y'all by the carousel" surprising right? How jeonghan was the one having your back and not your husband!!!
"Seungcheol was being an absolute dick back there you know. A very annoying, lumpy and dumbass dick " han's hands curl up against your shoulder as he pulls your head to rest on his nape, while both of you were seated on a bench shining under the dreamiest luminaire.
"Hmm" you hum into his skin, warm salty drops slowly making their way down his silk shirt "or maybe he was actually right"
Pulling yourself up from Han's embrace, you focus your eyes onto your lap, while fidgeting with your fingers, when you feel a warm pair of hands cupping your cheek, fingers pushing off any drop of water that dared to pass by your supple skin.
"Just because someone doesn't appreciate your presence in their life and treat you as nothing but a person their daughter calls 'mom', doesn't mean that you are allowed to downgrade yourself" his hands traveling down your face to now engulf your palms into his, "You have every right to be yourself y/n. I know how you've been fighting all your life, how you never had anything what people call carefree childhood these days....don't let anyone murder the soulful kid within you. Understood, Ms Thumper Paws" jeonghan settles his speech with a finishing pinch on your dumpling cheeks.
"Aye aye sir! Noted!!" you finally flash him with the smile he has been trying to bring out since 'someone' decided to slash it.
To both of your oblivion, seungcheol was watching his wife, his partner being all giggly like a beaming ray of sunshine, her bunny teeth making its way out for the world to see, but-
not in his arms, not on his jokes, instead because of her bestfriend....the person he has always been jealous of, for making you smile so wide and bringing out the adorable kid in you!!!something only he wishes to do you for you.....
all this while the caramel ice cream he brought for you melting away in his hands, as he takes in the sight before him with gritted teeth and hurt eyes
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walpu · 30 days
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walp
hear me out on this
Aventurine's bodyguard (reader), but they are used as leverage against Aven during the 2.1 Trailblaze Quest, if Aven tries to leave the Dreamscape or reveals anything of Sunday's scheme, Sunday murders Reader and makes it seem like a freak accident 😀😀
Sunday when I catch you Sunday
I liked this request the moment I saw it so I rushed to do it as soon as I got enough time to work on it 😭
you being used against Aventurine as his weak spot during the 2.1 trailblaze quest
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notes - gn!reader, 2.1 spoilers, angst but nothing bad happens to you, hopeful at the end, sunday is most likely ooc since it's written before 2.2, no beta
Sunday doesn't make a direct threat. It's a very subtle hint, a small warning. Yet it's obvious enough for Aventurine to understand the meaning behind Sunday's words immediately. How can he not when it concerns you?
There's a visible anger on his face when he glares at Sunday.
"You wouldn't dare, you wing-headed bastard. Do you think the IPC is stupid enough to believe that the death of my personal bodyguard tgat accompany me everywhere is a coincidence? Do you think I'll let it slide?!"
Oh, he's seething. Such raw emotions, such obvious worry, such obvious fear. Sunday knew he would get him good but that? Truly intriguing.
But how can he not feel that way? How can he play it cool, cover his fear and shield himself with short on-line answers?
This time he can't hide how much his hands are shaking.
Sunday is quick to remind Aventurine that in his current pitiful state, 17 hours to live and all, he hardly can do anything.
He also graciously reminds Aven that nothing will happen to you as long as he does his part.
Aventurine is such a mess after that conversation. Ratio tries to calm him down a bit by rationalizing the situation. Surely Sunday is bluffing. The Family, no matter how questionable they seem, are not murderers. Plus, surely Aventurine knows his own bodyguard well enough to know that you're not easy to kill. Many has tried and yet here you are, still alive and well.
But how can Aventurine just brush it off when it's you who may be in danger?
That what he was afraid of the whole time. That he'll lose you like he has lost everyone else. That your blood will be on his hands.
He asks Ratio to look after you and to escort you to safety if something happens. The promise doesn't calm him down but Ratio is a reliable and smart person. So he chooses to trust him, no matter how hard it is. After all, Aven doesn't have much choice.
When the two of you reunite, you can immediately see that he's shaken. He tries to hide his pitiful state from you, not wanting you to know that his time is running out. He wants to warn you instead, to tell you that you may be in danger. But he knows you won't take it seriously and instead would insist on taking care of him and protecting him.
He comes up with some lies (aeons, he hates lying to you of all people) and asks you to start your own investigation. To go back to the real world and to team up with Topaz and Jade.
It takes some time to convince you but eventually you reluctantly agree. He sees how much you hate leaving him like this and it's both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.
Aven is an even bigger mess now than he was in the game. He tries to tell himself that you're okay, that Ratio will accompany you to the real world and Topaz will look after you once you're there.
But how can he be sure? How? His "future" self asks him this mockingly, pointing out that you're smart, that you'll immediately understand that he has deliberately sent you away to keep you from something.
No matter how msny times he tells this "future self" to shut up, he knows he's right. So he can only pray that he'll be able to deal with the Family before you get yourself in danger.
Image you showing up during the final act just to see him threatening to detonate the Stellaron. Him trying to continue the "show" despite the ache in his heart. You, knowing he's bluffing but being unable to stop this insanity.
After the events of 2.1, he seeks you out as soon as he returns to the real world. He needs to know that you're alive, that you're safe. Even if you're angry with him now, even if you may not forgive him (of course you will he's just insecure like that), he needs to know you're fine.
So imagine his relief when you (safe, unarmed, alive) embrace him and hold him tightly, so overwhelmingly happy he's back.
image his reaction to finding out that you're alive and well and sunday has presumably kicked the bucket 💀
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