#like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints
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geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)
Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.
But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!
This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards
If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!
P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.
The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.
Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.
But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.
Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!
I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !
As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.
Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.
#chattin#answered#i have mentioned it before but i did NOT romance anyone#u know why? bc i literally didnt know it existed#i maxed out ann and the game was like ‘hey. this next decision is important’#and i was like. huh. u know what. i have not looked up a guide until now. thats scary. i dont want to lose a confidant…#and learned that.#so uh. i really DID go through the game bot realizing i could date anyone. even the adults.#anyway. this was alot. and i tried to keep out alot of my other complaints#bc i have so many. but they are like. either nitpicky things or things that are issues in lots of games too#like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints#and i do like the little animations!! i like akiras little tics#and i like seeing personas do their casting animations; shiki ouji and nekomata are my faves#i distinctly remember that being a thing i wished to see more of.#bc i liked thinking of what joker would look like fighting for Real#and then i remembered him being in smash so i was like COOL. ill look at those#and then i got STRIKERS and it was exactly what I wanted#i think#the game is like.#its bad. but in ways that i wouldnt call another game bad#like back 4 blood is BAD bad. its awful. the gameplay is bad. the story was shit. and the servers shut down within a year or two of launch#risk of rain 2 is bad in the way that it continuously obscures and withholds information to the player. its tedious and frustrating#but unlike b4b i LIKE ror2 and will continue to enjoy it.#bc the gameplay loop FEELS satisfying#and ultimately thats how i feel about p5#for all of its faults; its fun. it has a gameplay loop that is consistent and fun when u get the hang of it#im playing on hard again since merciless is just me making the right instakill builds while i pick up my team over and over again#and theres still a challenge in having the endgame weapons and armor#its satisfying! and i think its satisfying bc I was given the luck of having this be my introduction into the series#maybe i would have a better opinion on the game if i came from p4. or maybe not! who knows !
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Following Team Orders - Emilia Romagna
Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Olivia Williams
Summary: Olivia Williams is Formula One royalty. Her father is a racing legend and all Liv wants is to be one of only six women in the world to have raced in the most elite racing division in the world. When she finally gets the chance, she has to not only take on a male dominated sport, but her past, her teammate and a life beyond the track that she was not ready for. She just has to follow team orders but what happens when one man challenges her on and off the racing line...
Word Count: 2.1K
Warnings: A-N-G-S-T!!! eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle (if you squint) misogamy, fluff, racing accidents, an asshole Steve Rogers (you'll see what i mean)
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Series MasterList - Main Masterlist
Steve was grabbing at bite at the track café in Emilia, minding his own business. He was scrolling on his phone with an annoying voice interrupted his peaceful morning. “Hey Rogers!”
Steve rolled his eyes but then looked up at Johnny Storm. “Storm.”
“How you feeling about the track?” Johnny popped a grape in his mouth.
“No grip but what can you expect after all the rain they have gotten here?” Steve shrugged.
“Well, hopefully…” Johnny stopped at the roar of a bike coming into the paddock. The rider parked and climbed off before pulling off their helmet and a tumble of dark curls fell out. She shook her hair and then turned.
Steve sucked in a breath. Olivia didn’t see, or if she did, she didn’t acknowledge the men around her. She confidently walked towards the Red Bull garage, unzipping her leather jacket, revealing a red crop top, showing off just a flash of skin. Dark jeans and black boots completed her outfit. Steve couldn’t look away from how effortlessly beautiful she was. Storm whistled under his breath.
“Hot damm! That girl is going to be the death of someone. Holy shit. Racer, biker, model,” Johnny licked his lips, smoking hot. “Bellissima as some of the locals would say.” (Beautiful)
Steve felt his temper grow. “Fuck off Storm. Leave her alone.”
Johnny turned to Steve with a cocky smile. “What Rogers? You interested?”
“Of course not. She’s my teammate.”
“Then she’s fair game. Excuse me.” Johnny took off in Olivia’s direction.
Steve seethed. Johnny Storm was a playboy. The love them and leave them type. Which wasn’t to say that he wasn’t either but there was something about Olivia that he wanted to protect. After her outburst, he tried to make either neutral or encouraging comments towards her. She was trying to accomplish something no woman has ever done. Win in Formula One. His feelings had to come second. She was doing her job, racing and helping him win.
But it doesn’t mean he never thought of what it would be like to have her under him, feeling her soft skin, listening to her moans as he worked over her.
“Fuck.”
The novelty of Liv being a female in F1 hadn’t wore off and she was on her fifth interview of the day with the Italian press. Being linguistically apt had its advantages as she flawlessly went through interview after interview. As the final one was wrapping up, Liv noticed a person standing in the background and she tried not to cringe. She hoped to move fast after the interview but no such luck.
“Didn’t think you were that desperate, Livie.” She didn’t acknowledge Ransom as she gathered her things. “I’m talking to you, Love Bug.”
“Don’t call me that,” she said as she finally looked up.
“What’s a matter? The old nickname gets you hot and bothered?”
“No more like it makes my skin crawl.” She slung her pack onto her back, “what do you want Hugh?”
Ransom narrowed his eyes. “Don’t call me that.” He gave her a once over before continuing. “I just wanted to know why you’re here.”
“In this room, the track, what?”
“Here, in Formula One. That desperate to come back to me?”
Liv scoffed. “You wish. I want you back like I want a rash. Excuse me.”
He grabbed her arm. “C’mon Liv. You know you miss me. You know you want to come back.”
Olivia shook her arm from his grasp. “I wouldn’t go back to you even if they paid me, Hugh.”
Fire passed in Ransom’s cold blue eyes. “At least I don’t have to treat on daddy’s name to get anywhere Olivia.”
“My father has nothing to do with me being here. I got here on talent alone.”
“With your mouth, I’m sure. See you around Love Bug.” He cackled as he walked away.
Liv’s eyes were swimming with tears. Was that what everyone was really thinking? That she was here on the coattails of her father or that she slept her way through the team? She brushed away the tears and headed to her trailer. She kept her head down, not wanting to look at anyone before she slammed into what felt like a brick wall. “Shit!” she squeaked as she headed towards the ground.
Solid arms held her before she hit the ground and she looked up to see the smug face of one Steve Rogers. He took in her red rimmed eyes and couldn’t stop himself. “What’s a matter princess? Break a nail?”
At that, Liv’s resolve broke. “Fuck you!” She pulled herself away from him.
“Whoa. Hostile much?”
Liv couldn’t stop herself. All she was seeing was red. “I am sick and tired of hearing all you fuck boy racers speak. You don’t know what I’ve had to go through to be here and I’m tired. Just leave me the fuck alone!” She began to walk quickly to the trailer.
Steve chased after her. “Liv! Liv! Stop!” He grabbed her hand to stop her. “Livie, what happened?”
Liv couldn’t even acknowledge that he had called her by her nickname. “Nothing. Leave me alone.”
“Williams, look at me.” Her eyes focused on his. “Did someone say something to you?” She shook her head. “Talk to me, tell me who made you cry?”
“Why do you care? You already wrote me off.”
It started to register that there was only one person who could have sent Olivia in this direction. It was no secret that she and Drysdale had a past. Most had assumed that they would marry eventually until suddenly it was over, and Olivia stayed away from Formula One for the last few years. It was the main reason Steve hadn’t recognized her the first time. She had really changed herself when she was with him, going blonde, dressing provocatively. “Was Drysdale here? Did he say something to you?”
“You don’t care so what does it matter? Please just let me have some dignity and let me go. Please.” The final word coming out as a whisper.
Steve’s POV
Steve let her go and she almost ran to her trailer. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. The last thing he needed was for Drysdale to fuck up his team with his shitty attitude towards Liv. He headed to the Mercedes garage, fuming. He saw his target and moved in. “Stay away from her.”
“Away from who Rogers?” Ransom smirked at the anger forming on Steve’s face.
“Olivia. Stay away from her and my team.”
“Or what?”
“Don’t tempt me Drysdale. We all know. We all saw what you did to her the last time. So I will say it one more time. Stay away from my teammate.”
“You sound very overprotective,” Ransom mocked. “You tap that Rogers? She is good. With her mouth and while she bounces…”
“Shut the fuck up!” Steve’s eyes blazed and his expression stunned Ransom to step back. “I will only say this once. I am not sleeping with her, but I will protect her because she is a part of MY team. So, stay the fuck away!” He shoved him back. “Or I will end you.”
Liv’s POV
Back in the trailer, Liv slammed the door closed and curled up into herself on the couch. How much more of this could she take? When she heard the door open, she turned away and wiped at her face.
“Bug?”
She turned to see Frank there. “Livie, what happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit, Liv. Tell me,” Frank pleaded.
She looked into the eyes of her best friend and just started to sob. Frank pulled her into his arms, running a hand over her hair and her back. He let her get it out, rocking her back and forth. When she quieted to small hiccups, he asked again. “Bug, what happened?”
“Ransom,” she whispered.
“Son of a bitch! What did he say?”
“He said I was sleeping my way into a driver’s seat. Said I was using Dad to get here. That I wanted to go back to him. Frankie, is that what people think?”
“No Bug, no, that’s not what the important people think. C’mon, you know I don’t think that and neither does Bucky or Tony or Andy. Hell, even Steve doesn’t think that. Liv, you are an amazing driver and if Drysdale doesn’t see that, then he never knew you.”
Liv clutched as Frank’s shirt as Bucky came in. “Liv?”
“She’s ok. Drysdale,” Frank simply said.
Bucky nodded. “We have practice in 30, its time to start stretching.”
“Ok,” came the muffled reply. She lifted her head. “Just give me five.” She moved into the bathroom.
Frank and Bucky let her be and headed into the garage. “That asshole broke her the last time,” Frank said.
“Let’s just make a plan not to leave her all the way alone, ok? She should have security, but I can tell that would not go well,” Bucky replied.
“You’re right it wouldn’t.” Frank chuckled. “My best friend is stubborn.”
“She is at that. Among other things.” Bucky walked away, leaving Frank confused on the statement.
“Liv, you are 0.5 second behind Drysdale for 4th with 3 laps remaining.” Bucky’s voice was steady in her ear.
“Copy.”
“You ok?” Concern was now laced in it.
“Focused, boss man. Steve ok?”
“The spin cost him, but he has 4 second over Drysdale for 3rd.”
“Copy.”
Liv has been focused on the race. Even in light rain, the track is super slippery. But it’s something Liv has practiced over and over. She can tell that Ransom is driving too cautiously and she smiles, knowing it’s her chance. They cross the starting line and now have two laps to go. She tails him but stays out of the spray. Halfway through, he slips and makes a tiny error, sliding the car and allowing Liv to slide in front of him.
“Great job Liv. One more lap.”
“Copy,” as she passes the line again. She can see Ransom in her mirrors, but he’s got no grip and he hesitate to step away from the dry line. Liv keeps it up, making no mistakes and crosses, finishing 4th.
“Great job Bug! P4.”
“Yes! Thank you, guys!” She slows and makes her way around to the pitlane to park. Bucky and Frank are waiting for her, hug and high fives all around. She sees Johnny lifting the first-place trophy with Lance Tucker in second and Steve in third. Liv does her post race stuff and when she turns to head to the garages, she bumps into someone. “I am so sorry.”
“It is fine, mademoiselle.” A young man holds her steady. “You did a fantastic job today.”
“Oh, thank you.” She flushed, taking in the man’s charmed. She quickly looked him over, dark hair, hazel eyes, goatee, he is handsome. “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. Olivia,” she offered her hand.
“Charles.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I’m the replacement for Chase Collins.”
“Oh, yes, of course. How is he?”
“Doing better. Broken leg but he’ll be ok.” He flashed her a smile.
“Your accent? French?”
“Monaco. You are an American, yes?”
“Yes, California. Well, I should go get cleaned up. Press, you know.”
“Of course, it was nice to meet you, Olivia. I hope I get to see more of you around.” He kissed her hand again and she giggled.
“Same Charles.” She let go and turned to her trailer. Not really noticing the six-foot blonde who was watching her.
Steve grinded his teeth at the Monegasque making a move on Olivia. He needed to make a move with Olivia to keep her close. He caught up to her right before she made it to her door. “You did good Williams.”
Surprise was in her eyes when she looked up at Steve. “Uh, thanks.”
“No, seriously. I watched the replay of your overtake. It was smooth. I’m impressed.”
Liv’s face softens. “Thanks Rogers.” She turned to go inside.
“Call me Steve,” he offered a smile. “Maybe we can start over.” He held out his hand.
She looked at it curiously. But took it in her own. “Liv,” she replied. “I look forward to working with you Steve.” She giggled and Steve swore it was the sweetness sound he had ever heard.
“I’m sorry for before Liv.”
“Its ok. Sorry I slapped you.”
“Its ok. Deserved.”
“Well, I have to get cleaned up. See you later?”
“Yeah, see ya.” She walked away but turned back to look at him with a smile.
Steve ran a hand over his face. He was so screwed. But he smiled.
Small steps.
Taglist:@patzammit @slutforchrisjamalevans @jennmurawski13-writes @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling
#andy's hea#andy's shenanigans#following team orders#steve rogers AU#steve rogers#steve rogers x ofc#multifandom rp#bucky barnes#ransom drysdale#andy barber#formula one#formula one au#red bull racing au#ofc Olivia Williams#chris evans fanfiction#jesus christ
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Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Four
Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2960
Warnings: Itsy bitsy amount of angst, bad language words, mentions of phone sex and masturbation
A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics
DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission
“James?”
You held your breath after you uttered the name into the phone’s speaker. Your heart galloped at the thought of actually speaking to him. You’d be lying if you had said you hadn’t imagined how his voice sounded. You pictured something deep and raspy but drawled and sweet.
In the last five days, you’d imagined many things about James. Not just the sound of his voice, but his laugh, too. Rich and soothing. And of his scent- distinctly his own or a fresh, citrusy cologne of bergamot and tangerines. You imagined his rough, calloused hands sliding over your skin in slow motion.
And how he kissed. You daydreamed about that, too. Often. You couldn’t count how many times you’d stared at his sorry excuse for a selfie. You found yourself drawn to it daily. It was only part of his face, but what you could see was ruggedly handsome. His lips looked soft and delectable. You pictured yourself nibbling on his bottom lip, deepening its color to blush pink.
A sharp sigh escaped through your nose as you waited for his reply. Maybe he hadn’t heard you the first time? “James?” you asked again. “Hello?”
No response.
You pulled the phone away from your ear to make sure you were still connected. The call-time counter ticked ominously second by second on the screen. You tucked the device back under your hair to find the call was still active.
Did he get cold feet and change his mind last minute? He hadn’t hung up yet, so you weren’t exactly sure why he was waiting. Maybe he was tongue-tied? Or hadn’t expected you to pick up?
“Did you butt-dial me, James?” you laughed, trying to dispel some of your anxiety.
You heard a muffled “ shit” and two beeps. You glanced at the phone’s screen again, and call ended flashed in bold white.
Ignoring the hang-up, you immediately re-dialed James. The line rang and rang. And rang.
You weren’t confident you were going to speak with James, the longer the rings continued. He wasn’t ready to talk to you yet, and that was okay. It had only been five days.
Five days wasn’t long enough to build a bond over stupid Would You Rather? questions or form a simmering crush on a stranger that made your stomach flip whenever he sent you a funny cat meme. Nope. Five days was much too short of time for anything.
A generic voicemail greeting clicked over and rudely beeped at you. You took a deep breath and quickly thought of a reason to be calling someone who didn’t want to talk. “Hey, James. Just calling you back. It’s (Y/N), by the way. I’m not sure if you meant to call the first time or if sneaky ninjas have accosted you and somehow did a crazy pocket dial. Y’know, because of the whole military-trained assassin athlete mchottie thing. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And no pressure! If you’re not comfortable talking on the phone, I completely understand. I’m sweating bullets just talking to your voicemail box.” You chuckled nervously. You were starting to babble.
“Anyway,” you continued. “I hope you’re well. And don’t leave me hangin’. I really wanna know if you’d rather sneeze every hour or burp when you saw a pretty girl.” You laughed again. “Goodbye, James.”
You mashed the end call button and face-planted into one of the throw pillows on your couch. You groaned loudly into the fabric, chastising yourself in your head. If he didn’t want to talk before, he most definitely wouldn’t want to now. You shook your head in disbelief. Sneaky ninjas, seriously? What. The. Fuck?
Hours later, while in the middle of a Say Yes to the Dress marathon (dammit Robyn!) and a self-induced diabetic coma of ice cream and chips, your phone vibrated. You swat at it on the coffee table with a foot, only to realize you lack the limberness or the dexterity in your toes to retrieve the phone. As a result, it tumbled to the ground as you groaned in displeasure. Cursing your luck, you bent forward to pick it up. Awakening the phone’s black screen, a text popped into view.
James Sorry
Your heart lurched for a moment. With every second that had passed since you’d left your voicemail for James, the least likely you’d felt he’d call back or even respond. Hence the pity party with Ben & Jerry and Cool Ranch Doritos.
James My so-called “friends” grabbed my phone from me and led to accidentally calling you.
Ahh, the old “invade-your-friend’s-privacy” maneuver, you thought, shaking your head.
James I didn’t want to hang up on you, but I’m not quite ready to talk yet. I like what we have.
Your heart flopped. You liked what you had, too, but a small part of you- a dumb part- wanted just a little more.
Shaking off the feeling of longing churning your insides, you thumbed over the screen to reply.
You No worries, James. We can go at whatever speed you like.
It was weird to have the guy, for once, want to take things slow. Usually, it was always you pumping the brakes in the relationship. Was this even a relationship, though? Were all the texting and personal questions leading somewhere? Or were you bound to end up friends with an interesting story to tell your other friends?
Not allowing your negative thoughts to curtail the joy of finally texting James again, you quickly punched out:
You I’m just glad you’re okay and not being held for ransom somewhere.
James It would take a whole horde of ninjas to take me down.
You giggled at the confidence contained in this one text, but talking to a girl on the phone threw him for a loop. We are definitely back in junior high, you thought.
You You sound awfully confident for a man who wouldn’t talk to a friend on the phone.
James You don’t want to talk to me.
You pinched your eyebrows together in frustration to form a crease between them. Was he serious?
You Sure, I do. I have a bet going with myself on how your voice sounds. Is it deep and masculine or high-pitched like you sucked in helium?
James Which are you betting on?
You pulled your bottom lip in by your teeth, biting softly. You smirked as you thought of the two options. The former would be nice, but the latter would be pretty damn funny.
You I mean, deep and masculine is very desirable. Listening to the low timbre of a man’s voice is very relaxing for me. But, considering the ridiculous “selfie” you sent me, I’m placing my money on high-pitched.
James What was wrong with my selfie?!
Somehow, you knew that would get him worked up.
You Well, for starters: I can only see, like, part of your face! Did a blind person teach you how to take them??
You And secondly, there clearly wasn’t enough “Blue Steel.” With cheekbones and pouty lips like yours and a chiseled jaw, I’d be blue-steeling the shit out of all my selfies!
A wave of remorse washed over you once you hit send. Had you really compared him to Zoolander? Not only had you objectified him by mentioning how aesthetically pleasing he was (let’s face it- he’s really, really, really ridiculously good looking), but you may have criticized him for his terrible selfie abilities. At that moment, as you waited for the inevitable “fuck off” text to come through, you wished for a giant sinkhole to appear under your apartment and swallow you whole. What were you thinking?
James First off, I’m a selfie amateur. My past line of work limited my contact and/or exposure to the outside world. I didn’t learn what a selfie even was until recently. Remember, I’m also a man of mystery. I’m trying to keep up appearances and can’t reveal too much.
James What is “Blue Steel”? I’m not very pop-culture savvy unless it happened before 1944.
James Did you just call me pretty??
Your cheeks flushed with the heat of a thousand suns. He called you out as you expected him to do.
You Uh...
You Are we gonna talk about the fact you said you didn’t know about pop culture after 1944?? You are a grandpa!
James Nice try with the subject change! Admit it- you think I’m pretty.
You rolled your eyes. Of course, that would be the thing he focused on out of the whole conversation.
You I have no idea what you’re talking about.
If all else fails--deny, deny, deny.
James Right. Sure about that, doll?
Your pulse spiked.
You never did like pet names before you met James, but doll had a goo-ing effect on you for some reason. Everything seemed to turn to mush whenever he mentioned the word.
You Absolutely. I have no reason to believe that if you weren’t a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie, you’d be a male model. None what-so-ever.
James Uh-huh. I’m going to pretend that you aren’t lying through your teeth and getting back to our scintillating game of Would You Rather?
James I’d burp every time I saw a pretty dame, by the way. I wouldn’t want to take my chances with sneezing in my sleep. Would you rather eat only fruits or vegetables for one year?
Several nights after the voicemail incident, you were sitting in Penelope with Robyn after work. She wanted to meet up to decide which centerpieces worked best for the reception. Scattered across the table were three samples she and Kevin had narrowed it down to. With your thumb, while playing with a corner of the hand-drawn example closest to you, a sigh escaped your nose.
Your sister’s talent mesmerized you. Each storyboard showed the intricate detail of the flowers and candles themselves and what the tables would look like next to each other with every centerpiece. You were in awe.
“These are so good, Robbie! They must have taken forever to put together,” you said, admiring a different sample on the table.
“Nah,” she replied, brushing the compliment aside. “Just an afternoon’s time last week.”
“Well, shit. I hope they’re paying you the big bucks at work.”
She quirked an eyebrow devilishly as she reached for her drink. “You know it,” she jested before taking a sip.
You laughed at her cheekiness. Robyn had always been a go-getter. One of the many attributes you loved about her. Never took no for an answer.
“Soooo,” she drawled as she set her glass down. “How have you been?”
You looked up swiftly, eyeing her suspiciously before returning your gaze to the storyboard in your hands. “I’m still alive if that’s what you’re asking.” You set the drawing down to take a drink from your glass. “Haven’t been murdered yet, but the night is still young.”
Robyn rolled her eyes at your petulance. “You know I worry about you. Are you still texting James?”
You smiled sweetly. “Each day that goes by, you act more and more like Mom. You know that?”
Robyn scoffed. “I do not!”
She could deny it all she wanted, but Robyn was turning into the spitting image of your mother. You laughed again. “You do too. Even down to the eye roll.”
She folded her arms over her chest, waiting for you to answer her question.
Two could play this game.
You wiped the corner of your mouth with your napkin unhurriedly. “If you must know, yes, James and I are still texting.”
“Has he sent any dick pics or asked for nudes?” Robyn asked earnestly.
“Yup. We engage in wildly pornographic phone sex every night.”
Robyn glanced around the restaurant with eyes wide as saucers, making sure none of the other patrons heard you. “(Y/N), I’m serious! Has he propositioned you?”
You huffed a small laugh. “Nope,” you admitted. “In fact, he’s the one that wants to take things slow. He accidentally called me the other day and hung up from jitters.” Robyn didn’t need to know the full truth.
“The jitters?” Robyn queried.
“Yeah. I even called him back, but he let it go to voicemail.”
“Then, he must be weird or ugly.”
You grimaced at her assumption. “Ew, Robbie. Don’t be gross,” you chastised. “He’s the opposite of ugly. I might even go as far as to call him handsome.”
“How? You don’t know what he looks like,” Robyn questioned.
You took a quick sip of your drink, holding up a finger. “Au, contraire mon frère. He sent me a selfie in the very beginning.”
Robyn looked at you, perplexed. “You know you just called me your brother, right?”
You waved a hand at her to dismiss her accusation. “Ma soeur just doesn’t have the same ring to it.” You pulled your phone out to offer proof.
“You can barely see his face!” she exclaimed. “What if he’s horribly disfigured on the other side? Or missing an arm?”
You shrugged. “Then, he’s missing an arm.” You got a distant look in your eyes as you recalled the last ten days of texting with James. “He’s different, Robbie. He’s smart and funny and caring. Polite. It feels like he has an old soul. He calls me doll for chrissakes!”
“Are you sure he isn’t some crusty, old man?” Robyn gagged at the thought.
“No, I don’t,” you chuckled in response. The faraway look returned after a moment. “To me, he’s just James.”
Realization dawned on Robyn’s face, lighting her up like a light bulb. “Oh, my god. You like him.”
“Well, yeah,” you acknowledged, “he’s my friend.”
“No. You like him like him.”
Your face reddened quickly with the awareness of your feelings. They weren’t real, were they? Shaking your head, you replied, ”Nothing will happen, Robbie. It’s just a crush.”
Skeptically, she agreed, “Uh-huh.”
“What?”
“I believe that as much as I welcome a cold sore on my wedding day.” She scrunched her nose at the thought of a gross, red blemish on her face for her big day.
“Fine,” you acquiesced. “If I fall head over heels, madly in love with James by your wedding day, I’ll owe you a hundred bucks.”
Robyn raised a sculpted brow in interest. “I’m listening.”
“One hundred dollars. End of negotiation,” you stated. “I don’t have a spare hundred bucks, so it will be a motivator not to fall for James. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.”
She smiled smugly, shaking her head in disbelief. “Uh-huh.”
“Will you stop saying that?” you said, throwing a piece of lettuce at her face. “You definitely sound like Mom.”
Robyn huffed in annoyance, back-handing your shoulder softly. “Shuddup! I do not!”
You chortled heartily at the mini tantrum she was throwing about becoming Mom. You’d say anything at this point to get her to forget about you and James.
In all honesty, there was no you and James. Not really. You were friends, but could you move past that?
He was hiding something.
Something big.
And it wasn’t part of the whole “man of mystery” persona, either. James was holding back.
He had a hard time giving up anything personal to you that went beyond his likes and dislikes, which led you to believe he had found it difficult to trust.
It angered you deeply without really knowing why. Something in his past had sparked the inability. You only wish you knew what.
Deep down, you could really see yourself falling for James, and that scared you to death.
Breaking you from your reverie, Robyn piped up, “You know, James is probably jerking off to your voicemail.”
“Oh, absolutely!” you retorted, both of you dissolving into a giggling fit.
After leaving Robyn with a clear choice for centerpieces, you made your way back home. After a fifty-minute subway ride, you popped into the corner bodega for some essentials for the coming week.
Sauntering up the stairs to your third-floor walk-up, you steadied your armful of groceries with each step. It had been a long week, and now with the revelation of how you felt about James clouding your mind, a glass of wine, ice cream, and a bubble bath sounded good right about now.
You could barely see over the bags and juggled them precariously. As you stepped onto your floor, you recognized the voice of your next-door neighbor down the hall. He was talking with someone, but you couldn’t tell with whom or what about.
Blindly, you called out, “Hey, Peter? Can you be a lifesaver and help a neighbor out?” You heard the scuffle of footsteps over tile rush toward you.
Sighing in relief, you relinquished two bags to the arms reaching out. “Thanks, Pete! You’re a pe-”
You stopped mid-sentence when your view was finally cleared. Your sixteen-year-old neighbor wasn’t standing before you but a tall man with chestnut hair tied in a knot. Your lips parted slightly as your eyes widened to take in the figure’s full breadth holding your groceries.
Your eyes flicked to Peter as everything came back to focus. He was adjusting your other two bags in his arms.
“Miss (Y/L/N), this is Mr. Barnes from my Stark internship. He’s a friend. He was helping me with some history homework,” Peter explained, gesturing to the hulking man standing outside your apartment door.
“Peter,” you admonished, “how many times-” Last names weren’t meant to be spoken by friends slash neighbors.
Peter winced. “Right! Sorry, (Y/N)!” he apologized. “This is Bucky.”
Recognition crossed your face at the name. Smiling, you stuck out your hand in front of you. “Bucky Barnes, it’s nice to meet you.”
Bucky shifted one of your bags in his arms to reach out his hand. He smiled softly, “ Li-likewise.”
Chapter Three | Chapter Five
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Las Vegas, Baby!
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter.
Genre: Fluff, romance
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid
Warnings: slight mention of rape and murder! Only once, no graphical description!
Summary: This is from my Model au! This is two part story. Wait for part 2. ☺️ It's just something fluffy and cute. Just a reason to write these two together!
If you have a background idea about this au, you might be aware that I have used Spencer as model instead of Lila archer and Aaron is the agent who is gone on Spencer! Team comprised of Gideon, rossi, Hotch, Morgan and Garcia at that time!
You can check all my model au musings for more information -> 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 . Please ignore the typos and grammatical mistakes, English is difficult lmao!! Hope you enjoy! ❤️
"Okay everyone, we have a few hours till we reach Vegas, so get some shut eye if you need because we will start working until we find this unsub once we touch down!" Aaron ordered the team. Everyone agreed quickly as Aaron stood up to take his corner seat where he could spread out the files again. As he started looking into the files, making notes of some of the points they had already discussed, the team including Garcia who was still on the video call were talking quietly about lighter things before parting.
"So chocolate thunder, I hope you won't have too much fun without me over there. I'm so jealous that you are in Vegas after so long and I'm not even there!"
Morgan chuckled at Garcia's frustration, "I know baby girl! It's not everyday that we get a case in a city like Vegas! When was the last time we came for a case? Do you remember?" He mused out loud.
Rossi who was just listening to their talk quietly answered, "I think it was when we were helping with that stalker case of that gorgeous kid! What was his name again, Aaron?"
Morgan bit his lips to stop a chuckle passing through as they all watched minute change in their boss's posture. His back stiffened lightly and he frowned deeply before shooting a glare to Rossi as he replied, "Spencer Reid I believe."
Before Rossi could ask something more, Garcia gushed, "Oh God yes!! How did I forget!!! He was so gorgeous and sexy and he was such a cute little rabbit!! I wish I could have had a chance to meet him, you guys were so lucky to have met him!"
Emily and JJ were the only ones at this point who seemed to be out of loop and after watching Garcia's reaction they couldn't ignore asking anymore.
"Okay, holdup Penelope, what's going on? " It was Emily who finally asked her.
"Ohhh he is this gorgeous baby model! He is pretty much famous now but at that time he was being stalked by his obsessed best friend. And BAU was involved. This was back when Gideon was still on team and our fearless leader here was Spencer's security detail! " And then Garcia's voice turned into a hushed (still a bit loud) whisper as she continued, "Bossman's photo with the model was on the front page of all fashion magazines. They created quite a buzz around as well!"
"Okay that's enough!! Everybody go to sleep or I can give you work to do right now, choose wisely!" Hotch ordered, looking pointedly at every single one of them and within a second Garcia bid goodbye, disconnecting the call quickly!
Everyone else just shared a knowing glance with each other before dispersing to their preferred seats all over the plane!
It was going to be a long case, Aaron thought!!
***†***
The team soon forgot all about this supposed model who seemed to be a somewhat touchy subject for their boss. As they reached the LVPD, they were quickly immersed in the work, giving all of their focus to the case as it should be!
It was a bad case, of course all the cases are bad, but there are always some cases who suck everything good out of them, and this was one of those! Closeted teenagers being raped and murdered and the only good thing about it all was that the LEOs were helpful instead of hindering the investigation, without their full support the case would've taken a lot longer.
They were supposed to be flying out that night but the Jet was not in a good condition and their pilot told them that they will most likely be able to fly the next night! Though they would've loved going home as soon as they can, spending a night in Vegas didn't seem like such a bad option.
The team was talking about where they should have dinner and how they should spend the night, considering they didn't have any work and it was as good as vacation! Aaron was in a separate corner talking to someone on the phone and they all just thought he was talking to Strauss, giving her idea about the case and the delay!
As he came back, the team had already decided on a few options, so Rossi put a hand on Aaron's shoulder before saying, "Aaron, we are thinking of hitting this really nice restaurant for dinner, my treat, we deserve it after this long case!"
Surprisingly Aaron shook his head, he waited for a second to choose his words carefully before explaining the reason. "I'm sorry I won't be joining you all tonight! I have dinner plans already with someone else, we will meet tomorrow at the airport when the plane is ready to takeoff! "
Everyone was quite! This was probably the first time they have heard Aaron Hotchner having plans other than work and spending time with the team! He looked cute trying to look stern so no one would ask him questions, but well Rossi was never the one to shut his mouth when Hotch needed it.
"Does it involve certain model with curly hair, bambi eyes and smile to die for?" He asked, like a little shit he was!
But tonight seemed to be a night of surprises because instead of receiving a well placed glare, all they received was a rare dimpled smile which made almost everyone pause their breathing for a second, because yeah it was that gorgeous!
"Well that's for me to know and you to never find out!" Aaron replied, still smiling, before he left them.
They just looked at each other, not really sure if that really happened, but then Morgan whistled, "He is so fucking meeting that boy!!! I knew it! Penelope is going to love this gossip!"
There was still so much about their boss that they weren't aware of!!
***†***
As soon as Aaron rang the bell, Spencer was there opening the door with huge smile! Before Aaron could even place his bags down, he was enveloped in a bear hug by none other than The Spencer Reid, model, actor and his boyfriend!
"I didn't think you'd really come! God!! You are here, you are really here!! Shit, let me see you!" Spencer pulled away, his hands immediately cupping Aaron's face, those eyes almost a bit teary and Aaron felt his heart breaking a little bit! Both of their jobs required a lot of their time and they had to travel constantly. And with the amount of work they both had, they weren't able to spend a lot of time together at all! They both travelled back and forth whenever they got the free time in their schedule, but currently Spencer was working in a movie and he had been so busy with the work that they were not able to meet for more than six months.
Spencer pulled away before taking him inside the house, inside his bedroom. And Aaron kept his bags in their designated place before going to take shower. He would have really liked to have Spencer with him in there but from the looks of it, he had already showered.
So he focused on taking a quick shower, feeling better already in the close existence of his love as the hot water started to relax his tired and aching muscles. He dried his body quickly, snapping one towel around his waist as he came out of the bathroom, drying his head with other towel.
But then it was snatched away by clever fingers and he was pushed on the bed, sitting at the end of it before that lithe body he loved so much was sitting across his lap! Spencer straddled him, before starting to dry his head with the towel he snatched earlier. Aaron hummed as he felt Spencer throwing away the towel after a few minutes before raking his long fingers through his locks. He knew how soothing it was for Aaron, and it helped in melting away those last few evidences of the tension he still had.
He wanted to kiss his boyfriend, preferably 10 minutes ago, but they had a silent agreement. If he kisses now, they won't have a dinner, and he very much wanted to have that dinner with his boyfriend, he wanted to listen to his rants, he wanted to feed him few bites, play a little game of footsie just to make his boyfriend giggle childishly and then when they are full, then he will kiss him! Small, butterfly kisses at first and then they will get heavier and then they will start touching each other and that time they won't have to stop in the middle of it for anything. Because then they'll have only one purpose, to feed the hunger their bodies felt these past few months, and relearn each other's bodies, love those spots and crooks and valleys all over again, and intertwine as one to not part again for little while.
They'll do all of that, soon, but first dinner!!
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Linked - Chapter Two
Rating: M (smut, language, mature themes, potential major character death)
Genre: Drama/Angst
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Bucky and Levi find themselves connected through tragedy, can they let go of the past to find their future????
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I have not added to this since last September, shame on me!! Reread Chapter One here and let me know if I should continue with the story.
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The voice in Bucky’s head screamed. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO! DANGER, DANGER! You don’t want to get involved with this! She doesn’t want you; YOUR WIFE KILLED HER HUSBAND... HER HUSBAND KILLED YOUR WIFE. WALK AWAY!
His mind was screaming loud enough that it wouldn’t surprise Bucky if Levi could actually hear his thoughts and he winced internally as he caught sight of her hand, clutching white-knuckle tight to her messenger bag.
Shit.
Despite his misgivings, Bucky nevertheless sat at the table the hostess indicated, pausing awkwardly as he debated holding out Levi’s chair for her. She sat quickly, however, as if expecting him to offer and not wanting it. King clamored into his own chair; reaching for a menu, asking for a chocolate milk and maintaining a rundown of the best parts of their game all at the same time and Bucky couldn’t hide a smile. He would rather rip his tongue out by the roots than admit it, especially in his present company, but King had become very precious to him in a short amount of time and he very much looked forwards to seeing the little guy. Maria had been totally against the subject of children, but Bucky had always wanted to be a dad. He needed to be careful though, he knew, for this was a minefield he wasn’t sure he would ever be either ready or able to walk through.
“What do you want, Coach? I want pizza!”
“King, keep it down.” Levi chastised gently.
“Sorry, mom.”
“It’s alright, just use your inside voice, okay?”
“Okay.”
Levi’s eyes flicked unwillingly towards him. “What do you want, Mr. Barnes?” She asked softly, sounding nervous.
Jesus, doll. You. “Call me Bucky, please. Pizza sounds good...?” Bucky offered shyly.
Pizza safely ordered (half-pepperoni, half-Hawaiian – gross, mom!), Bucky cleared his throat and asked tentatively, his heart hammering in fear. “How are you liking it here so far?”
Levi looked startled for a micro-second before answering. “It’s nice. I met Nat and Steve right away, so that made everything so much easier, I-” a loud chime interrupted her, and she flushed. “Sorry.”
Bucky watched as Levi reached down and rustled in her messenger bag, pulling out a tablet and tapping quickly at it before tucking it back inside.
“Sorry about that,” she repeated. “That was a client.”
“What do you do?” Bucky blurted, his nerves loosening his tongue. “Sorry, I-”
“No, it’s alright. I’m a graphic designer; but lately I’ve been designing a lot of book covers.”
“Like novels?”
“Yeah, just small time. First-time authors, independents, people that haven’t really made it big yet.”
“How does that work?”
Levi flushed, glancing down at her glass before answering, her fingers toyed with the condensation forming at the base, drawing small but enchanting patterns. “I’m compiling a catalogue of images and pictures of subjects; I snagged some professional editing software a while ago and can manipulate a stock image fairly realistically. Some are live models, others are no-license. The client emails me what they’re looking for, I make something up and send them a few choices; it’s fairly straightforward really.”
“Live models... like pictures of real guys, like Fabio?”
Levi giggled, a sound that arrowed straight into Bucky’s heart. “Not that famous, but a few wannabe models have let me take their picture, usually in exchange for a series of headshots. They get their portfolio; I get a few brooding pics.”
“Shirtless?” Bucky wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but the idea intrigued him.
“Yes, mostly. Why, are you volunteering?” Levi snapped her mouth shut in shock. What the fuck is gotten into you?
Now Bucky flushed, eyes flicking to Levi’s for a heartbeat; a shy grin pulling at his mouth and the sight arrowed straight into Levi’s heart. “Think I’d make it?”
Fuck, yeah. But I don’t want to share. "I think you’d do. Romance readers love a dark and handsome mystery.”
“You think I’m handsome?” Bucky teased, loving the way Levi’s face went so adorably red, her amethyst eyes widening as she realized her slip.
Finally, the universe took pity; Levi was saved from answering by the arrival of their pizza and King’s triumphant shout.
The next few minutes were spent eating, King devouring his slice with typical 5-year-old gusto.
“How do you like coaching so far?” Levi asked, wiping tomato sauce from her bottom lip, something Bucky suddenly and desperately wanted to do with his tongue.
Bucky struggled to focus on her question and not her plump lips and what they would look like wrapped around his cock.
What the fuck, dude???
“A lot actually. I didn’t expect to, honestly; I was just going to help Steve out a bit. I played soccer in high school and a bit for my university team, so I guess he figured I knew what I was doing.”
“You played for your university? You must have been good.”
Bucky flushed. “Yeah,” he hedged, unsure whether he should mention that he had already been drafted in the pros. “But I busted up my knee pretty bad and decided to get out.”
“That must have sucked.” Lev offered quietly, looking surprisingly upset at the news.
Bucky nodded, clearing his throat. “I lucked out with a good surgeon. I signed up for the military and, after a couple of tours I got out and into security. Mostly I just consult now.”
“Is that how you met Steve?”
Bucky couldn’t stop a wide smile. “Yeah, he wanted me to review and streamline the security system for his business.” He hesitated before adding, “I was always pretty mobile with that anyways, consulting all over the country, sometimes the world. I didn’t need to stay in one place, so... it made it easier when I decided to move… after-”. He broke off, Levi would know exactly what he meant without him spelling it out.
“Yes.” Came her quiet reply. “I understand... About that, did you ever-”
“No.” Bucky kept his voice gentle even as his heart raced. “Not now, please.”
Levi nodded shyly, her cheeks going pink. King had fallen silent, looking between the two adults, puzzled.
“What’s going on?” He asked, a pizza slice forgotten in his hand.
Levi sent Bucky a beseeching look. She’d not told King who Bucky was. At most, he knew that his coach’s wife had died, but he didn’t know that she’d taken his father with her.
“Nothing, buddy.” Bucky grinned in King’s direction, but Levi could see the faint tightening at the corners of his eyes. Fortunately, King, who was uncannily observant, even for a child, took Bucky’s lie at face value and happily tucked back into his pizza.
‘Sorry,’ Levi mouthed, and Bucky shook his head gently, returning quietly to his pizza.
Lev refused to let Bucky pay for full bill, insisting on half and completely crushing any thoughts that this had been anything but an entirely platonic meal.
But, whether by luck or serendipity, they found themselves again at May’s after the next game, sharing a table due to King’s enthusiastic ‘Coach! Sit with us!’ that he’d bellowed across the room.
The third time was planned, and Levi felt herself almost ashamed at how much she began to look forward to aftergame pizza with Coach Barnes.
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King ran ahead, hollering at the top of his lungs to his teammates, who shouted and yelled back. Levi followed behind, trudging really, she’d not gotten much sleep last night, and stumbled, biting back a surprised squawk, when a soccer ball connected suddenly with her temple. She staggered, clutching at her head but the ball hadn’t been flying with too much force and it had startled her more than anything else.
“Hey!” Bucky appeared like magic, the offending ball in his hands. He touched her shoulder, peering into her face with concern. “You okay?”
Lev nodded, not wanting to make a scene, she probably could have avoided being hit if she’d been more cognizant of the field, but Bucky wasn’t having it.
“Fucking Seymour. I’ll handle this.” He marched over to the nearby group of players and spoke in low, furious tones to them, starting in on their coach, obviously the maligned Seymour, when he bumbled over, trying to cover up the fact that he’d been too busy playing Candy Crush on his phone to monitor his players.
Lev continued walking, almost scurrying, picking up speed to avoid any other flying missiles and sat gratefully on her usual spot at the bleachers. Her eyes drifted to find Bucky,he was still speaking to the other coach and it was starting to look heated, but then Bucky took a visible deep breath and stepped back, obviously pulling himself away before things got out of hand. His eyes searched for her and he exhaled noticeably once he found her, moving unerringly to her side, concern evident on his handsome face.
“You okay?” He murmured, reaching up to brush where the ball had connected. His touch left goosebumps in its wake and Lev hissed at the contact, at the tingle of energy that frizzled between his fingertips and her skin. He seemed to feel it too, eyes widening slightly and pulled his hand away, not fully dropping it, gaze searching hers. “Lev?”
“I’m fine. I’m sorry, I should have been paying attention-” Levi ducked her head.
“Not your fault.” He retorted curtly. “Wayne Seymour needs to be watching his players better.” He visibly exhaled out his mounting irritation and leaned down to meet her eyes again. His brows drew together in question and he looked so startingly puppy-dog at that moment that Lev forgot how to breathe.
“James, I’m fine.”
His brows jumped slightly, nobody called him by his given name, he always corrected them and told them to call him Bucky, but hearing Lev say it made something inside him sit up and pay attention. Reluctantly, he drew away; he had to start coaching but right now he wanted nothing more than to stay beside her.
His hand, drifting without official orders, rested lightly on her knee for a beat before he pulled it away, startled by his actions. It wouldn’t do for the coach to be seen touching one of the player’s moms, but his hand suddenly ached as it was drawn away, tingling to touch her again.
“Pizza tonight?” He asked, stumbling over his words.
Lev studied him for a beat, her cheeks going adorably red. “We’ll see you there.” She replied softly.
***************************************************************
“Coach, can you come to my party?!” King asked excitedly, bouncing in his chair like it was a small trampoline.
Bucky took the empty chair at the table, mouthing a ‘Hey’ to Lev before focusing on King. “What’s that, Little Man?” He’d heard King babbling something about this during drills earlier, but he’d still been so caught up in Levi being hit that he hadn’t paid much attention.
“My birthday!”
Lev hushed King with a low shushing sound. “His sixth birthday, I’m planning a small get-together this weekend; King’s teammates, some school friends and their parents. You’re certainly invited, can you make it?”
“Of course.” He grinned down at King. “Thanks, buddy.”
“Yay!!”
“Kingston Sebastian Riel!” Levi hissed. “Tone it down.”
“Sebastian?”
“His father and I couldn’t agree. Brock wanted Kingston, I wanted Sebastian. We ‘compromised’.” She made air quotes with her fingers.
“I love that name.” Bucky smiled. That had been his name, whenever he’d indulged in picturing having children with Maria, naming his son ‘Sebastian Barnes’.
“I don’t need to use it very often; King usually knows how to behave in restaurants.” Lev replied, eyeing her son.
“Sorry, mom. Sorry, Coach.”
Lev’s serious demeanor broke and she ruffled his hair. “Inside voice, remember. I know you’re excited but we’re not the only people here, right?”
“Yes, mom.”
Bucky gazed at Lev while pretending to peruse the menu. She wasn’t like some of the other mothers out there, that let their kids get away with murder, ignored the little darlings as they ran around screaming and disturbing people, getting in screaming matches with bystanders that told her to rein in her offspring. She loved her son, that was obvious, and she loved him enough to actually parent him. That distinction mattered to Bucky, something that he probably would have argued with Maria about, had she ever agreed to having children. She had been raised to believe herself always correct, her parents always backing her, no matter if she was right or wrong in any situation, and it had chafed Bucky at times; something he found he could reflect back on now, with time, although with no less diminished guilt at remembering your dead spouse as anything but an absolute water-walking saint.
“Mom, I have to go to the bathroom.” King announced. When Lev moved to stand, he continued. “I can go myself.”
Lev looked torn, then nodded slowly. “Wash your hands.”
King nodded once then disappeared.
“What can I bring?” Bucky asked.
“Sorry, what?” Lev pulled her attention away from the direction King had gone, focusing back on Bucky.
“What can I bring to King’s party?”
“Oh,” Lev cleared her throat, thinking for a moment. “Beer? If you want to drink any, I don’t have a lot hanging around and… I’m not sure how many are coming, but maybe a chair too. The backyard is pretty big and there should be room, but you never know.”
“Any food?”
“No, thank you. I’ve got it.” Lev’s lips curled in a small smile and Bucky wasn’t surprised to feel his heart skip suddenly in his chest. This had been happening more and more around her and he was losing the strength to fight it.
“What does the Little Man want?”
“You don’t need-”
“I want to.”
Lev chewed her bottom lip before answering. “He talks a lot about some ‘Ronaldo’ guy?”
Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’ve heard him during practices. Cristiano Ronaldo, he’s a famous Portuguese soccer player. Think he’d like a jersey?”
“He’d probably never take it off. But James, seriously-”
Bucky leaned forwards suddenly, resting his hand onto of Levi’s and startling her silent. “Please. I’d like to.” A little awkwardly, he pulled his hand back, straightening slowly in his chair, cheeks heating.
“Do you have any children, James?” She asked, abruptly but not unkindly.
“No.”
“Did you ever want any?”
Bucky traced the edge of his glass, staring hard at the liquid inside. This seemed both an insanely private question to ask, but also one he didn’t mind answering, at least for her. “Yes. Maria-”
“I’m back!” King announced, as if he’d trekked to Papua New Guinea and was just now arriving home, footsore and weary from outrunning cannibals.
“Did you wash your hands?”
“Yes, mom.”
A part of Bucky was insanely grateful when the pizza arrived moments later, and he was saved from further discussion of children he’d wanted but never had the chance to have.
*****************************************************************
Lev opened the door, a slight look of panic on her face and smiled widely when she saw who it was.
“Bucky, hey! I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”
He’d thought about it; for some reason, after their last pizza ‘date’, he’d spiraled down into a dark shame, one he’d not felt since those early months immediately after Maria’s death. It must have been because of Lev’s question, harmless as it was for someone you could consider a friend, someone you shared dinner with on the semi-regular now, to ask; but it had triggered something inside him, a buried guilt, a hidden tangle of emotions he’d been too afraid to grab and study up close, but King meant too much to him to bail and, if he was being honest with himself, Levi did too.
“Sorry I’m late-”
“No, it’s fine! I’m just a little-… I haven’t had a get-together like this since before…” She broke off, cheeks going pink and Bucky knew immediately what she meant, how she felt.
“Here, let me take that-” Bucky reached for the bags of chips grasped tightly in her fingers but she pulled away.
“No, thank you, it’s fine. You’ve got your hands full too.” She said, jerking her chin at the six-pack of beer and folded lawn-chair taking up most of his hands. She paused for a moment and took a deep breath, gifting Bucky with a genuine smile. “Thank you for coming, I’m glad you’re here; and King’s going to go crazy.”
Their eyes met and held for a heartbeat and something warm flashed in Lev’s gaze, something that matched the tentative eagerness burning low in Bucky’s chest.
“C’mon in.” Levi shook herself slightly, as if breaking out of a trance and smiled a bit nervously. “I’ll be right out, just head on through the kitchen and out the back door. Everyone’s out there, you’ll see Steve and Nat right away.”
“Okay, thanks.” Bucky tried not to look as Levi sashayed in front of him, unaware of how the natural sway of her hips made adult thoughts flood his mind. Maria had not had curves like this, she’d been almost fanatical about calorie counting and restriction, resulting in a toned but unwelcomely bony body under Bucky’s caresses, but Lev was curvy, deliciously so, in all the right places. He didn’t mean to compare, but Maria had lamented to him many times about all the squats and lunges she did and how she still never achieved an ass even close to what Lev seemed to have naturally. His hands ached to touch her soft skin, trace her delicate lines and supple curves, lose himself in her feminine body.
A chorus of greetings hit him as he stepped outside and Steve launched himself at him, tearing Bucky from his musing as he prepared to collide against a brick wall, reaching Bucky in about two bounds; half-dragging him towards where he and Nat were seated, managing to yank the beer from his hands, open Bucky’s chair, push him to sit in it and slap him on the shoulder all at the same time.
A lot of the parents and kids Bucky realized he knew, mostly from soccer, and Nat and Steve introduced him to the rest. Most of the kids were screaming like banshees in a large bouncy castle set up in the corner of the yard, while others ran around holding all sorts of toy, shrieking at each other at the top of their little lungs.
Two tousled heads of hair, one chocolate brown, the other blond suddenly appeared at Bucky’s side, waving foam swords and screeching his name. It took Bucky a moment to recognize Steve’s boy, Hunter, and King, and then King was scrambling into his lap like a puppy, narrowly missing his balls.
“Coach! COACH!” He bellowed, as if Bucky were miles away across a shadowy moor and they were reduced to using only their voices for communication.
“Hey, Little Man.” Bucky leaned back from the dangerously waving weapon, thighs tensed to protect his jewels. He caught Steve’s smirk at his situation but then Hunter decided to do the same, leaping into Steve’s lap with the same reckless enthusiasm as King and Steve was suddenly too preoccupied trying to protect his own nads from destruction.
“You came to my party!”
“Yeah, buddy. I did.”
Grubby hands unexpectedly wrapped around his neck and Bucky suddenly didn’t care about anything else. Wrapping his arms around King, he basked in the little boy’s enthusiasm, the fondness for this child he’d held in his chest sharpening into something far more profound and intense.
When King finally scrambled back down and bounded away to rejoin his gang of rabble-rousers; Steve, who’d managed to detach his own son and send him on his criminal way as well, slapped his shoulder and grinned widely at him, making Bucky’s cheeks go pink.
Other parents eyed him with small smiles as well, making Bucky clear his throat self-consciously, and then Lev was back, falling into the empty chair beside Bucky with a laugh and a groan and his attention was immediately diverted, pulse beating just a little bit harder as he caught a hint of her scent; reminding him of sunshine and meadows of beautiful wildflowers.
Lev seemed more relaxed and a small, fleeting part of Bucky hoped it was because of him, but he pushed the thought away quickly. He couldn’t feed this wolf anymore; he couldn’t keep up with this idea that there was something between him and Lev. They were joined by tragedy, united by death and that was as far as it should go.
But if that was the way it was supposed to be, why was he so drawn to her? To her son? Why had he found his thoughts turning more and more to them, rushing into his mind first thing in the morning, the last scene to play in front of his eyes before he closed them at night?
Why, if this wasn’t ever supposed to be his, did he want it so badly?
Despite his turmoiled mind, there was enough going on in the backyard for him to push it aside, at least pretend it wasn’t gnawing insidiously at his brain and Bucky was surprised when he started to enjoy himself. He had avoided large crowds, big gatherings, since Maria’s death and had never truly been a social butterfly of his wife’s caliber anyway but, before he realized it, a few hours had passed and even the kids were starting to wind down.
King had looked adorable, pink-cheeked and grinning, as he sat in front of his cake, blowing out the candles with not too much spit thankfully, when his guests had finished singing. Some friend of Nat and Lev’s had made it, and had tasted surprisingly good, although the almost neon icing had taken more than a few hard sucks to completely pull the stain from your fingers.
Each present had been worth a cacophony of yells from both the birthday boy and his guests, but it had been the last one, Bucky’s gift that seemed to have the showstopper. When King had opened the gift bag and pulled out the pint-sized Ronaldo jersey, his eyes had gone huge and, when Lev had leaned over, murmuring to him who it was from, the little boy’s eyes had searched the crowd for Bucky and he’d scrambled from his chair to launch himself at him, crashing into his arms with a howl of pure excited glee.
“Thank you!” As fast as he’d landed in Bucky’s lap, King had again scrambled away, tearing off his shirt to yank on the jersey before snatching the new soccer ball from Uncle Steve and Aunty Nat and scampering away, leading a whole posse of screaming kids behind him
“Good job, man.” Steve murmured, leaning over to Bucky’s ear.
King had then bounded up to him, begging him and Uncle Steve to come play soccer with him and Hunter, and that had taken up Bucky’s attention until Lev called a game over and Bucky had finally looked around, realizing that almost everyone was gone.
“Mom. MOM?!” Hunter bellowed, running up to Nat. “Can King stay over? PLEASE?” He grabbed onto Nat’s shirt and tilted his head up, sending her an angelic look that left no doubt as to who his father was. Steve had used that same pleading puppy-dog look on Bucky last weekend when he’d begged him to help move an obnoxiously heavy fridge from his garage to the dump.
Nat glanced up at Lev, brow raised, and Lev smiled, shrugging. “If you think you can handle both little monsters tonight, go ahead.”
“Get your stuff, buddy.” Nat grinned.
“YAY!!” Both boys screamed, dashing into the house, barely avoiding a crash as they both tried to fit through the doorway into the house at the same time.
Bucky hovered, knowing he should be leaving but not able to muster the energy. He wanted to stay, even a bit longer and so far no one had zeroed in on him and demanded to know what he was still doing here. He watched with a fond smile as the boys reappeared, carrying an assortment of varied weapons and miscellany and shooting at each other with small Nerf guns.
“Did you pack any clothes?” Lev asked dryly, snagging King by the back of his shirt as he scampered by. He was still wearing the Ronaldo jersey.
“Clothes?” King asked, confused, peering up at his mother as if she’d suddenly started speaking a new language and Lev smirked. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
“Have fun today?” Nat asked Bucky innocently, stepping over to lean her back against Steve’s chest, who immediately wrapped his arms around her and dropped his chin to rest on the top of her head as he too awaited Bucky’s answer, a cat that got the canary grin on his big stupid face.
“Yeah, didn’t expect it to be so…”
“Insane?” Steve suggested.
“Loud.” Bucky finished. “I should know better, coaching half of them but still…”
“You’ll get used to it.” Nat replied, a knowing gleam in her eyes that made Bucky frown in confusion at her. Steve mumbled something in her ear, brow furrowed, and she just giggled, pressing a kiss to his chin and whispering back.
Lev reappeared, carrying a small backpack shaped like a Stegosaurus and called King to her. He skipped up, becoming serious when Lev dropped to one knee and gripped his upper arms gently, whispering earnestly and probably telling him to behave tonight. After a moment, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and the boy made a show of squirming away and wiping at his face, but the delighted grin on his face showed his true feelings.
A few minutes later, both yelling boys had been herded into the SUV and Bucky found himself standing alone beside Lev, waving as Steve and Nat backed out of the driveway and drove off with a honk.
“I should go.” Bucky mumbled, wanting to do anything but. He’d been spared any comments by Steve and Nat as they’d bundled the boys into the vehicle, but that didn’t mean he’d be safe later from any ‘observations’ they’d make of how he’d stayed later than them.
“NO,” Lev’s cheeks went pink “I mean…. stay for a bit, please. Today was so crazy we didn’t get any real chance to talk-” She trailed off uncertainly, her cheeks full on red now, matching the heat in Bucky’s face.
Twist my rubber arm, doll.
“Sure, okay.” He exhaled a little shakily, timidly, lips curving into a smile at Lev’s delighted grin.
“Go grab a seat, I’ll be right back.”
Bucky nodded, venturing into the backyard and sitting on the high-backed bench closest to the freestanding patio heater. The warm glow was comforting against the beginnings of twilight chill, while a firepit squatted nearby, ready to be lit as well.
Levi returned a few minutes later, carrying two bottles of beer and a blanket under one arm; then, after the briefest pause to peruse seating, plunked down on the same bench with Bucky and handed him a bottle.
“Here, try this.” She grinned. “An old friend of mine got me started on these oatmeal stouts; I didn’t have enough to go around.” She pulled the blanket between them. “Cold?”
Bucky gestured with his chin to the heater. “Nah, I’m good.”
Lev smiled, turning to face him and pulling her feet up to sit cross-legged. She squirmed for a moment to adjust the cushion at her back then opened the blanket to lay over her lap and settled back with a sigh.
“Thank you for staying.” She said quietly. “It’s nice to just sit down for a few minutes.”
“No problem.” Bucky mumbled, hiding his please grin behind another swallow. “This is good.” He nodded to the sweating bottle in his hand.
“I know, right?” Lev smiled, then fell silent, regarding him quietly long enough that Bucky felt the urge to start squirming in discomfort. “How are you doing?” She asked gently and Bucky knew immediately what she was referring to.
“Getting better.” He replied, his voice low. “Having work and the team to coach definitely helps. You?”
Lev nodded, then swallowed, looking suddenly uncomfortable herself. She glanced up at Bucky from under long lashes, looking surprisingly anxious. “I uh…” she cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t let you think the wrong thing about me and Brock, we…” she broke off, picking anxiously at a cuticle.
Bucky’s brow furrowed in confusion as he waited quietly.
“We weren’t like you and Maria, we weren’t… forever.” she finally continued, looking ashamed. “I was… I had divorce papers drawn up, I was ready to give them to Brock, but then he…”
Bucky stared for a moment, stunned. A thousand thoughts suddenly racing through his head. A small, secret little part of him rejoiced; Levi had been ready to leave her husband, akin to available, before his death. She’d already been looking to move on.
“I’m sorry.” He muttered, knowing his words were totally inadequate and also, not truthful.
“No, it’s fine. We weren’t working out. I… I was young and stupid and thought the college boy I fell in love with would change, grow up with me. He wasn’t a bad guy, we just…. I was hopeful and naïve, and I forgave a lot.”
Anger burned low in Bucky’s chest; what had Levi been forced to ‘forgive’?
“It’s not stupid,” he began and, at Lev’s confused brow lift, continued. “Hoping someone will grow up, most people do.”
“I’m happy he’s gone.” She whispered in a rush then clapped her hand over her mouth, mortified. “I don’t mean it like that,” her eyes were huge. “I just…. It’s extreme yes, but… I don’t have to deal with him anymore, try and work with him over custody of King or anything.”
Bucky nodded, reaching over to squeeze her knee. “I understand, it’s alright.”
Lev wiped at her cheeks. “I mean, he would have fought me on everything, just to be a dick.” Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, but thankfully Bucky’s words seemed to have mollified her guilt. He never would believe she’d truly meant she was happy Brock was dead, she wasn’t that type of person, even if a small, secret part of Bucky was.
“How’s King doing, if I can ask that?”
Lev nodded. “No, it’s fine, you can ask. He’s… surprisingly good, actually. Brock was never really in his face anyway, never really a hands-on dad, so there wasn’t much to miss.”
“He didn’t help out?”
Levi shook her head, her tears finally stopping. “No. Not when King was a baby waking up all night hungry, or teething, never. He… I don’t know, he looked at King like an accessory or something. An object to compare to his friend’s kids. He didn’t like that King couldn’t walk as fast as his friend’s boy, or that he wasn’t using full sentences as soon as his boss’ daughter. Never mind that they weren’t the same age, King was never good enough for him, he was always pushing him to do more and… sooner rather than later it would have started to mess with his head, make him think there was something wrong with him when there’s not.”
Rage burned low in Bucky’s chest, a whole new facet of hatred for Rumslow. What kind of man treated his wife and kid that way? King was an incredible little boy, smart and articulate, kind and funny. Bucky knew he’d be proud to call King his own.
“I feel so guilty.” Levi whispered, the tears returning. She dropped her head into her hands. “I don’t regret having King at all, and I will always be grateful to Brock for giving me him, but…. What was I thinking? Bringing a child into that type of environment?” She shuddered. “Right up until King was born I hoped my pregnancy would trigger something in him, some switch would flip and he’d stop being such a frat boy, start paying attention to me and my wants, and the baby he’d helped make. But he didn’t, he wouldn’t.” Her voice broke and Bucky stopped thinking about what was right and proper in this situation.
Setting down his beer he scooted towards her, drawing Levi into his arms. She clung to him with surprising desperation, burying her face in his throat and, if the timing weren’t so gloomy, he probably would have groaned at the sensation, at the shiver of delight that shot up his spine.
“Hey,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her hair and closing his eyes, indulging in a heartbeat’s length of adoring the feel of her so close to him. “Hey, stop thinking that. You’re not a bad person, you’re not a bad mom; all that shit, that’s on him; it’s not your fault. He sounds like a total asshole, who wouldn’t love King? He’s such a special little man. Shit, I would’ve-” he broke off, suddenly dangerously close to unsteady ground, that minefield he’d worried about stepping through.
Lev went still in his arms and he could feel her desire to ask him to elaborate, to explain what he’d been about to say.
Shit, I would’ve treated you and King like the treasures you are, I never would have taken you for granted that way.
Levi raised her head; eyes glittering with tears and searched his face. Bucky gazed back down at her, dangerously close to letting everything he was fighting so hard not to feel flood his eyes. Her eyes dropped to his lips for a heartbeat, then back up to his eyes and time stood still.
Fighting himself every inch of the way, Bucky slowly lowered his head, searching Lev’s gaze for permission, some hint that she either wanted this or suddenly was coming to her senses and wanted to stop; but she never wavered and, as their lips touched in a sweet and tentative way, her lids fluttered shut in relief and Bucky let his own fall closed, warmth flooding his body.
Desire raged hot and hard in Bucky, demanding more but he kept the kiss light and gentle, a shy exploration of each other’s mouths, the taste of stout still on their tongues as he slicked his along her bottom lip then plunged gently inside as she parted her mouth for him, a sweet moan rising in her throat.
Pulling back, easily one of the most difficult things Bucky had ever done, he rested his forehead to hers, fighting to calm his breathing, to control his body from all but attacking her.
Lev panted with him, fingers curling against his shirt then one tentative hand reached up to cup his face, rasping against the stubble and he leaned into her touch, letting out a low groan.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, each word burning like acid. “I shouldn’t have.”
“It’s okay.” She breathed back.
“I… we need to-” He couldn’t force the words and so he acted instead, pushing gently away from Levi and returning to his end of the bench. He shivered at the loss of her body, her heat, against him and Lev watched him for a moment, multiple emotions warring in her eyes.
Part of Bucky hoped she stayed over there, while a bigger part wanted her to close the distance again.
Finally, she relaxed her shoulders and managed a shy smile, then unfolded the blanket to its full size and offered him one side. Bucky accepted, draping the cover over his shoulders, allowing himself this substitution. They shouldn’t be crawling all over each other, kissing, but they could share this blanket, that was bashfully intimate as well and far more the speed they should be going if they did plan on seeing where this went.
Levi settled back against the bench, turning to face forwards. There was space between them now, so much that it would difficult to lean over and nudge the other with their shoulder, but close enough that, if one dared, they could hold hands under the blanket.
For a time they were silent, gazing at the emerging stars, or the muted red glow of the patio heater, listening to the sporadic sounds of life around them, the occasional vehicle, owl hoot or dog bark but then Lev exhaled slowly and spoke, her voice hesitant.
“We were interrupted at dinner, but I asked if you ever wanted children. I don’t want to pry, but-”
“No, its fine.” Lev had bared enough of her wounds tonight, it was time for him to disclose a scar or two. “I did… I do. But Maria wasn’t interested… ever. It wasn’t a big deal when we got together but… as time passed, seeing friends have babies and stuff, I started to think about it more and more. I…” He trailed off, studying his hands knotted together, fingers twisting. “I kept putting it off, really talking about it with her though. It was obvious what she felt, she’d never babysat as a teenager, she never offered to hold any of our friend’s babies, even if I was always asking, just to feel that little bundle, that tiny weight in my arms; I’d test the waters, and hint and stuff, but she would always laugh and be like ‘no way’ and I just… let it go until there was no more time.”
“She never would have?”
Bucky considered a moment. “No, I don’t think so. One of the things I always loved about Maria was her conviction, even if it was against me. No meant no to her, every time.”
Levi gazed at Bucky silently, but he kept his gaze down. He wasn’t ready to show her, she wasn’t ready to see, the emotions crashing through his eyes right now. Finally, he found the strength to say what had been nibbling at the corners of his mind for some time now, a hard truth that had come with hindsight and miserable evaluation during long, sleepless nights, something he’d never even voiced out loud before, not ever really examined up close, just knew deep down, no matter how hard it was to acknowledge verbally.
“I think…. It would have been the issue that pushed us apart eventually… if she hadn’t died.”
He heard her breath catch but was too scared to look over and squeezed his eyes shut, praying that Lev didn’t show kindness right now, some form of acceptance for his stark confession, maybe reach over to touch him, or whisper sweet words, because he was too raw, too open right now for it to do anything but agonize.
“I’m sorry.” She finally murmured, barely audible but he heard her in the silence, felt the pain all the same.
Me too.
#au bucky#au bucky barnes#au bucky barnes fanfic#au bucky barnes fanfiction#au father bucky#au bucky drama#au bucky romance#bucky and levi#bucky and lev#bucky dad#bucky family
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Quarantine time
I was tagged by @vivapolos, thank u tasmim💕
Rules: to answer these following questions and tag 5 friends
1. Flowers or chocolates?: both, hehe
2. Between day and night I prefer:
night? yeah
3. My favorite drink:
water & coffee!!
4. between sunrise and sunset I prefer:
sunsets
5. Between dogs and cats, I prefer:
i like both :( but cats
6. The vegetable I hate the most:
i eat most vegetables, but i rly dont like eggplant
7. My favorite sound:
the sound of japan trains, wind howling & gaming keyboard asmr
8. The first thing I notice about people:
their eyes and shoes they’re wearing
9. What would you prefer horror or fantasy?
i like both oop- but more to horror
10. I'd want to be stuck in a lift with? (choose opposite gender lol)
xiu/d.o/toru yamashita/yuta nakamoto
11. What city or town you'd like to live in?
japan
12. What I value most in life:
sincerity, family, adventure
13. If I could learn any skill, it'd be:
dancing, learn motion graphics/tracking, sfx editing, fashion illustration
14. Between beach and the mountains, I prefer:
mountains!
15. I'd love to get married in..:
by the time im 27..? idk man haha
16. My hidden talent
i can tell if someone being manipulative, though i rarely say anything unless it’s serious.
17. If could bring anyone back to the life, I'd bring back:
my grandmother
18. Why?
i miss her, there’s never a day where i dont think about her 🤍✨
18. Rainy day or sunny day?
both!
20. Who's the role model of your life
my parents, and many illustrators ➰
21. How I relax after a hard day:
shower, make iced coffee and doodle random things/watch shows
22. I like the way I look:
i do, hehe~
23 My most favourite facial features of my self is:
eyes, eyebrows, nose & lips~
24. My most favourite part of my body:
my shoulders
25. If I could change anything about my body:
maybe
26 . If yes what's it:
have longer legs aka be taller umu
27. If I could change something from my past:
not date the stupid boys i dated lol that was v dumb of me
28. How many piecings I've:
2 on each ear
29. I like makeup
yes!!
30. I wear makeup everyday:
nopeee
31. My skin type is:
combination skin
31. My skin tone:
fair w/ orange undertone
32. My hair colour:
dark brown
33. My height:
4′11″/150cm
34. My age:
turning 22 in 3 days hehe
35. My birthday:
8th May
36. My best friend:
she’s not on social media but i love her to bits
37. I have a pet or more:
i have 2 cats~
38. If I don't, then one pet I'd adopt:
i want a munchkin or sphinx cat 🥺
39. Video games or social media:
both!
40. I've a innocent mind/dirty mind:
a balance of both i think????
41. I've visit outside of my country:
yes! ive been to japan, china, thailand, malaysia and indonesia~
42. Someone proposed me or asked me out?
asked me out yeah
43. If yes then I liked it and accepted it / didn't liked it and rejected it:
like and accepted, but it didnt work out. & ive rejected
44. Do you follow some celebrities Fashion:
mainly japanese celebrites
45. What do you think about your fashion sense:
it’s alright, hehe
46. You found someone copying your fashion:
not really..?
47. You can do your make up properly:
everything BUT eyeliner i suck at it 🤧
48. You go or used to go to school with makeup on:
only on days with presentations or if i have plans after school
49. What colour suits you best?
white, beige, neutrals, red
50. Finally how's quarantine going?
its alright, though im actually bored i wanna go outttttt
I'd like to tag: @gyuniiverse , @soos-goddess, @pororodks @mochipcy @monbebexol & anyone else who wants to do this 💓
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Blast to the Past: What is the Appeal of Fallout
Ok so last time we covered why people are really into the Baldur’s Gate series, which sort of invented most of the CRPG genre (Ultimia is very sad right now)., Now for the other major Isometric game series, which launched one of the most influential series in Gaming history, I speak of course of Fallout.
Now I haven’t played Fallout since I was a kid because I remember the interface being extremely frustrating compared to BG (which like...that is saying something) but what people love about Fallout is primarily the story and the roleplaying. So what makes Fallout 1 so appealing
1) The post Apocalyptic genre, Fallout and Road Warrior probably define the aesthetic of that genre more than any other, and if that is your jam, then Fallout is for you, it is not just post-apocalyptic but it is deeply interested in the tropes and conventions of that genre. Now Cards on the Table this is actually a minus for me, I’m more of a fantasy man myself but diversity of genre is good so this likely makes fans of the genre very happy, especially since this game has done more for the genre to anything since Road Warrior
2) Classless system. Fallout doesn’t have classes, instead it has a very elaborate system of mechanical perks, stats, traits and skills, each of which can change a lot in how you play the game and express your character. You have a low more flexibility in building your character than the more rigid focus of Classes+stats+skills of D&D, though personally I prefer Character from Mechanics rather than Mechanical from character. However you want classless roleplaying, Fallout starts the Computer trend
3) Social as a real option. I think today people overestimate this in regards to fallout and seem to imagine that you can talk every enemy down, and that really isn’t the case, but certainly for the time Fallout was far more evolved in terms of social dynamics than Baldur’s Gate, and a social character is entirely viable. Critically you can defeat the final boss entirely through dialogue options.
4) Dialogue options are more like puzzles. Hbomerguy pointed this out in an earlier critique of Fallout 3 but I think it is worth repeating, in Fallout winning at dialogue options isn’t as simple as just finding the option with “Speechcraft 67″ written next too it. If you want to defeat The Master, you don’t just need a high Speech, you also need to have found the information necessary to change his mind (specifically that the Super Mutants are sterile), external evidence of said proof, and you also need to carefully pick the dialogue options to do so. Your high Speech and Int only open the door for you to be able to defeat him, you still need to have done your own research, asked other people questions, and brought evidence with you, which makes choosing the right option much more satisfying than just saying “you are wrong and I have 100 Speechcraft)
5) Variable play experience. This is true of all RPGS, if I play a male Dwarf Cleric in BG II and a male human wizard I am going to have different interactions but most of fights will be similar. But if you choose the “Jinxed” Trait at the start of Fallout, which basically dramatically increases everybody’s chance of Critical failure (including your enemies) the entire game is utterly different and a horrific tragicomedy of needless violence. But if you take this combined with 9 or 10 luck, then you will fail less and everybody else will fail more. It totally changes the nature of the game. If you choose the Empathy Perk, then bad dialogue options are highlighted in Red so you know not to pick them. If you choose Mysterious Stranger perk, a Clint Eastwood ripe off will sometimes show up to help you out in combat out of no where and then leave just as quickly.
6) Negative effects from stats. If you have a 3 charisma in BG, your party members will fight more, you will get worse rewards for quests, and you will get worse prices, but your dialogue options will largely remain the same. You won’t get the special bonus dialogue options open to high charisma characters, but you basically have the “default” dialogue options at all times. If you aren’t a caster, there really isn’t too much of a downside for having a low Int in BG, you are much weaker to mindflayers, as logn as you have some smarties in the party you should be fine. Not so in Fallout. If you play a low Int character, you are barely capable of speech so you have unique dialogue options and the game is totally different. Its objectively worse and kinda sucks but there is a lot of comedy gold in playing an absolute moron. Later games will pick up on this more, with New Vegas taking the cake with your own brain attempting to quit from you in protest.
(This is from fallout II but the point is the same)
7) Random Encounters. In BG, random encounters are all roughly the same, a different type of enemy shows up and attempts to murder you until you murder all of them. There are a few of those in Fallout but you also have much more inventive random encounters. just to list a few from the first game
You can find a wandering singer who will perform for you and increase your charisma by 1
A unique merchant named Duc, who if you kill, you will trigger a random encounter where his men seek revenge.
A random wounded Peasant which will give you some kind of prophecy
A Brotherhood of Steel person who will give you some information
Walk into a fight between two different factions (lots of variants of these)
Corpses which you can loot
Some travelers who can give you directions or info
And a fucking crashed Alien Spaceship which you can loot
Seriously far better random encounter design than most RPGs ever
8) Ideological conflict. This doesn't actually make Fallout better than BG, whose overall themes are more mythic than ideological but it makes it different, Fallout is effectively a story about adaptation, about society, technically and what does it mean to relate to the past. The Vault wants to effectively deny the outside world and pretend WWIII never happened, The Brotherhood of Steel is creating this weird dogmatic elitist technology cult in response to it, the Master wants humanity to evolve to a new species to solve the problem, and what will be the New California Republic wants to recreate the pre War United States. Different ideologies existing in opposition to each other is a core part of this series and Fallout starts it
9) The Aethetic. Fallout has a very unique look and feel which is so iconic that other video games keep ripping it off, and that I have been to multiple fallout themed bars in my life. This isn’t really evident in the game-play graphics which I think are objectively uglier than BG’s painted backgrounds, but more in the objects, interface, and interactions, like the claymation models you can talk to
10) Ending slides. Fallout starts the tradition of having a slideshow at the end that shows exactly how each of your actions changed the world in a different way.
12) This one doesn’t count because it didn’t really work but Purely turned based combat. Fallout uses the Action Point system rather than the semi real time/Turn based of BG. Now....this is more of a hypthoetical benefit because the turned based combat in Fallout doesn’t really work at all, so BG is just objectively better, but if it was polished it could be a radically different way of playing the game.
12) Dogmeat the Dog
There is a reason why this game is so beloved to this day, it brings a lot of very radical mechanical innovation to the table, even though it is borderline unplayable at times.
#Blast to the Past#Fallout#RPG#Role Playing Games#Super Mutant#Fallout Boy#post-apocalyptic#SPECIAL#Vault 51#vault76#Dogmeat#The Master#Vault Dweller#Jatja#Tandi#Tycho#new california republic#Vault 13#Brotherhood of Steel#radiation#Richard Moreau#Richard Grey#Children of the Cathedral#Unity#Caps#War...War never Changes
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11/11/11 Tag Game: Round... uh... 5, 6, & 7?
I got tagged by a bunch of people ( @quilloftheclouds is this how your 77 question one felt??) so here are a bunch of answers! I think this is the most I’ve ever talked about myself in my life.
Good gracious, you’re all so nice and have such good questions.
Tagged by: @surroundedbypearls, @waterfallwritings, @bigmoodword, @sundaynightnovels
Rules: answer 11 questions, tag 11 people, give them 11 new questions!
[I’ve done this enough to be able to break the tag rules. Fight me.]
44 questions and answers below the cut!
But I’ll be nice and put my questions right here:
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
When do you title your WIPs? It is the first thing you do? The last? Does it come to you during drafting?
How many inside jokes do you put in your WIP(s)?
Your WIP’s antagonist is now The Riddler. How do your OCs handle that?
Do you use sticky notes?
Laptop or desktop?
Your OC is a wrestler. What’s their hype music?
Do you own any craft books/books on writing?
What’s your favorite book cover?
How many unread books do you have sitting around right now? Which are you most excited to maybe get to eventually some time?
How committed are you to your outline(s)?
Bilbo Taggins: Literally anyone, but also @francestroublr, @sahados-shadow, @a-story-im-writing, @bethkerring, @citruschickadee, @bos-ingit
If I’ve tagged you before, you can totally ignore this. In fact, I encourage you to.
From @surroundedbypearls:
What’s your favourite genre to write in and why?
Literary fiction! It’s what I learned in university and the one that fits my themes best. Sci-fi is hard, I’m just getting into writing fantasy stuff, I can’t do thrillers, romance is hard for me, and historical is too much work.
Do you think you have a style/voice that you use more often in your writing? When did you develop that style?
If you’ve read one of my stories, you know exactly how my writing voice sounds. It doesn’t change too much. I write like I talk, but if I had a lot more gravitas and charisma. Honestly, I’ve always had that kind of style, but it really developed in high school. It’s been getting stronger since then. It’s one of the things I always got comments about from my teachers and fellow workshop writers. “Your voice is so strong!” Yep. It’s mah thang.
Do you play video games? What’s your favourite?
YES I DO. It’s hard to pick faves, but I’ve played Dragon Age: Origins too many times.
If you were going to do a WIP crossover, which OCs would be most interesting together? (If you’ve only got one WIP crossover with something else)
A crossover between H2H and AOPC? Interesting. I think Mel and Keema would get along the best, Oz would have some fightin’ words for Elder Sanga, and Gemma and Teva would be a force to be reckoned with, my god. Two stubborn nerds who believe totally different things but are also very determined to be very good at what they want to do and love their communities to a fault? Fear them.
Do you prefer to plan WIPs in a document or through handwritten notes?
I used to do it by hand but I couldn’t read it because my handwriting is terrible and I kept losing papers. I do it in docs now. Much easier to organize and incredibly legible.
Do you multiple languages exist in your WIP? If so how do you address that in the story?
H2H is set in the “real world,” so yep. It hasn’t been addressed too much yet, but I have a way for tackling languages. I’ve written multilingual-ish stories before. I never write phonetically and use hella context clues so the reader knows the gist of what was said if another character doesn’t translate.
What’s your favourite animated film that’s not Disney or Pixar?
AN AMERICAN TAIL. All of them. It’s on Netflix go watch it and marvel at the way a kids movie talks about Jewish immigration, poverty, and cultural oppression via mice. As a young Jewish child, this movie was my jam. It’s very dark, though.
Do your real-life surroundings influence your WIP’s settings?
Nope! One time I tried to write a story set in the same area where I lived and I couldn’t do it. Too weird. Sometimes I’ll write in an item I see near me, or like, a painting or poster on the wall if I need some set decoration, but that’s about it.
Which OCs would be most likely to break the fourth wall?
Oz. Lookin’ at the camera like he’s in The Office.
How do you work out your OCs’ personalities?
Hm. I look at the story I’m trying to write and make a protagonist that would have the most interesting experience in that narrative. For H2H, I wanted someone who would be loyal as heck to the people they loved while still being experimental enough to try new things and get into shenanigans. The story called for someone like that, and there she was. Mel came about my thinking of someone who would compliment other characters in the story while still being their own person. If that makes sense. I think of dynamics and interactions with the story world in relation to the theme(s).
Most of the time they just happen, though.
Do you prefer worldbuilding or character building?
Character building! As much as I like making stories about places, making characters is more fun for me, and more interesting. You should see all the DnD character sheets I have.
From @waterfallwritings:
1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?
At random. Seriously. It’s like my brain has to be running something in the background to function normally, and usually that something is whatever story I happen to be working on. Or I’ll look at a thing and go “huh.” My brain also likes to twist normal things to be a little bit different.
2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?
No idea, man. It’s like throwing spaghetti at a wall. I like to work backwards. If this is what I want to happen, what needs to happen before that to ensure that it occurs? I look at all the elements currently in the story and see if one can be manipulated to fill in the hole.
3. What motivates you to keep writing?
If I don’t, my brain gets all constipated and angry until I write something down. Like, seriously, I get grumpy and frustrated like I’m hangry or something. Aside from physical need, I love writing. I love word puzzles and feelings puzzles and figuring them out. Sometimes I think of how my stories could help someone, or make them feel something that they enjoy.
4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?
Oh, man, I’ve done it all. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, video game-ish writing, interactive storytelling, short stories, flash fiction, proposals, essays, DnD campaigns, monologues... You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I tend to stick to prose and poetry these days.
5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?
I’ve gotten into graphic design a little bit. I kind of wanna learn how to knit again. I’m not really very crafty.
6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?
Write a different scene, stare at the screen in frustration until I give up and go to sleep, meditate for a few minutes, go do something else to get my mind off of it, clean, work on a different project.
7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?
I mean, see the next question for part of my answer. How did I decide to end H2H? My friend, that’s a big ‘ole spoiler. But I decided to end it at a place where everything, and everyone, comes together.
8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?
Right at the beginning. If I don’t know where it’ll end, I have a hard time writing the arc. I work backwards: start with the idea, then think of where I want it to end up, then work back to the beginning until I know where its going, then start writing.
9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?
My reasons are pretty personal, but the least personal is that I needed some accountability and motivation. And I missed being in a good writing community.
10. What’s your favourite food?
Pasta! I’m eating spaghetti right now.
11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?
Oz would be the most tragic. Treena would be the most logical.
From @bigmoodword:
1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?
Nerdy potion woman meets cute odd stranger who helps her solve magic mysteries in their quirky small town.
2. what inspired them?
I saw a zine accepting submissions for magic stories, then an open call for queer shifter stories, and thought “what if wholesome magical lesbians?”
3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?
Gemma!
4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?
THE SONG OF ACHILLES. My God, my soul was weeping. Honestly, it still is. Doesn’t matter that I knew the story from the Iliad. Madeline Miller is a feelings wizard.
5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?
On an as-needed basis. I used to do way too much research to avoid actually writing the damn thing, so now I only do it when I actually run into a problem that can be solved by Google.
6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?
The ones that aren’t hugely emotional. Which is... unfortunate.
7. which of your ocs do you like the least?
Rude. On a personal level, Jill. I love her, but I would not be friends with her. We wouldn’t mesh at all.
8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?
Third person limited present tense! To the bane of everyone who’s ever edited my work.
9. do you write poetry?
I do! Not often, though.
10. who is your writing role model?
My freakin’ writing professor from college. He is crazy disciplined.
11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?
Hey, you know those people who say your writing is too dark? Yeah, they suck and they’re wrong. They just want kids to live up to their expectations and write happy sunshiny stories about unicorns and dinosaurs having ice cream. And you’re not depressed because you wrote that one sad poem one time and someone asked if you were depressed. What you have is called feelings and they’re very useful for a writer, nay, a human, to have.
From @sundaynightnovels:
Who is your biggest role model?
Okay, so I got crap all the time in grade school for never having a role model, and I still don’t have one. The teachers were concerned about me. But my reasoning was, “why should I want to live someone else’s life?”
Yeah. They didn’t really know what to do with that...
What are your OCs favorite foods?
Sort of answered here!
Which OC is most afraid of the dark?
Oz and Mary!
What made you want to start a writing blog/participate in the writeblr community?
Answered above!
Did you sleep with a stuffed animal as a kid? Do you still?
I did, indeed. I don’t anymore, but I have two that I shuffle around my room when they get in the way. One is a highland cow I got in Scotland (he has a plaid hat), the other is a blue whale I got at the Museum of Natural History in NY.
Do you like donuts?
I love donuts. Especially jelly filled ones. Mmm.
Do/would your OCs like donuts?
All of my OCs like donuts. I don’t think Mel has ever had a modern one, though.
What is your least favorite food?
Cauliflower?
I’m the household taste-tester, so there’s been a lot of stuff I don’t like.
( @sundaynightnovels I hate sparkling water, too, you’re not alone!)
What is your ideal writing environment?
Comfy seating, a chair with no arms (stupid elbows), alone, plenty of chosen beverage within reach, headphones.
Favorite line from your WIP?
So far, it’s this one!
Favorite quote from a book?
Oh, man. There are so many. From recent memory, here are a few:
“’Give it time,’ she replies. ‘It won’t be a story forever.’“
and
“Everyone has heard stories of women like us, and now we will make more of them.”
(both from The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy)
“When he smiled, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled like a leaf held to flame.”
and
“I lean forward and our lips land clumsily on each other. They are like the fat bodies of bees, soft and round and giddy with pollen.” (I could write a goddamn essay about the imagery in this scene.) (It is quite possibly my favorite description of a kiss ever. And the metaphor extends through the rest of the scene so artfully ugh.)
(both from The Song of Achilles)
“The thing about a story is that you dream it as you tell it, hoping that others might then dream along with you, and in this way memory and imagination and language combine to make spirits in the head.”
(from The Things They Carried)
#11/11/11 tag#about me#tag game#writer tag#oh my god so many questions#fun stuff below the cut#forgive my terrible jokes I am tired#writeblr#how I write#I guess#rec#book rec
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Good angel {Hoseok Smut}
Make sure to check my masterlist here.
Genre: Smut with plot, a sequel? I dunno yet, dom!hoseok, sub!reader, a bit of angst
Pairing: Hoseok X reader
Word count: 5.1k
Warnings: Graphic descriptions of sex, oral sex (giving), dirty talk, no aftercare, power play, praise kink, hair pulling, fingering, voyeurism.
Song reference: My medicine -The pretty reckless.
Jin Hyung
2:43 PM
Ow, come on man!
Jhope
2:44 PM
Hyung, you know it's not that easy, it's a three hours flight! I can't just drop everything and go...
Jin Hyung
2:44 PM
Okay, look, I get that it's hard but please! It took so long to finally find a date that suited everyone and to even convince them in the first place! Plus I promised that you would show up, they will be very disappointed if you don't.
Jin Hyung
2:44
And your family misses you, it's the perfect excuse to come and visit them.
Jhope
2:45 PM
Yeah, I guess... Look I can't promise I'll go, but I'll think about it.
Jin Hyung
2:46 PM
K, luv you Hobi, please come!
Hoseok rested his phone on his thighs, leaning back to take another look at the invite on his email with solemn eyes.
The computer glowed with the short and cheerful message.
"Hey Hobi, I know you moved out of the city but I was wondering if you would come to our night out reunion next weekend, get the group back together.
It's going to be on Saturday, we are meeting at Jimin's like always and we are getting fucked up on that club we used to go, like the good ol days. Please, please, please come, it won't be the same without you!"
Hoseok would be lying if he said he didn't miss his friends. The unswerving group of seven teenagers he once made part of hasn't met in years and Seokjin was right, he had to pay his family a visit at some point.
But it wasn't that easy anymore, adult life had caught up to him, work and responsibilities he didn't feel confident enough to just drop to party with his friends, as much as he would like to.
Just thinking about it made him feel weary, In all honesty, he felt lonely.
By himself in a big city, with no friends or family to lean on when bad thoughts overflowed his mind, just working to his bones, trying to make a better living, trying to keep moving.
It has been almost six years since he left the little town he came from, originally to attend university and become the performer he always dreamed to be, later, what got him to stay was much more domineering.
At some point during that time, Hoseok met a woman he was too innocent not to fall in love with.
She was reckless and fierce in ways that enticed his inner "small town" boy and being with her felt like standing at the edge of the world, looking at something so great his hands could never grasp.
It lasted three years during his second to fourth -and last year- of uni, and she taught him so many different things, from smoking weed for the first time, riding supermarket carts in the middle of the night, to murmuring soft "I love you's" after having sex on the beach, drunk out of his mind.
It ended the same way it had started, like a derailed train.
One night she was lying on his chest, it was cold outside, very cold, and she was about to fall asleep as he watched, absentmindedly, to shit shows on TV.
Things had been so stressful at the time, Hoseok was barely surviving his senior year, running on energy drinks and antiosyolitics and she effortlessly became an anchor, the only thing keeping him sane.
So, as he thought about the exams he had coming up and the work that was slowly sucking his life, Hoseok felt the icy cold sensation running through his veins, paralyzing, fixed gaze.
"Let's get married."
He pleaded that night.
She stared at him, wide-eyed and griping a piece of cover.
She was gone by the time sun rays inundated the oppressingly cold room, taking with her the candidness of the beaming boy he once was.
Two years had gone by, two full years of reasoning with himself about giving up and going back to his city, getting closer to his family again, forget all about his dream and just fall into the sad reality.
But he insists that it would be unbearable, even the loneliness and his exhausting job had to be better than going back to that life, with the same people, the single-minds and the shallow dreams.
That's why he decides to take Seokjin on his offer. He needs an excuse to go back, see just how much have changed and come back to his ridiculously small apartment, motivated to keep following his plans and not look back.
An hour later he texts Seokjin to let him know of his decision and clears his agenda, not giving a fuck about responsibilities, thinking it's about time to enjoy himself. The next week Hoseok packs a dirty old bag and leaves to the airport with nothing to lose.
Hours later he finds Seokjin waiting for him with a small sign that read "hoseokie" with bold letters and decored with many hearts.
-Okay, tell me what happened to the others. -He requests, with his heart-shaped smile adorning his face, while he searches his phone for another song to play.
-Do you want the short or the long version? -The older man asks, also smiling but with his eyes glued on the road, focused on driving.
-The long one, give me all the details so I can tease the shit out of them.
They laugh out loud, Hoseok feels his heart swelling with how much he had missed his best friend for the past six years, and how natural things still felt between them, even after everything they have been through.
-Okay, let's start with Yoongi then, he started working on his music, he also moved away and it's actually getting big, he got here last week just to hang out with us.
He went on and on about their friends, updating Hoseok on all of the things that happened and never once crossed his mind.
Namjoon fell madly in love with a girl he now lived with and said they were planning to travel the world together.
Jimin had just finished college and was opening his own dance academy, teaching and administrating it at the same time.
Taehyung never went to college, he too moved to a big city and was striking modeling gigs.
Jungkook was still in college and getting noticed for his singing and editing abilities on his growing youtube channel.
Everything looked the same, each corner being recognizable, every store holding memories of their drunken escapades, still, nostalgy sat heavy on his tong, dislocation leaving an unsettling feeling on his chest.
Seokjin left him at the doorsteps of his childhood home, wishing him good luck and saying he'd be back by ten to pick him up.
Hours later, after being washed in love by his family, Hoseok actually felt rejuvenated, like that was all he needed to regain his strength and charge his energetic personality. In a few hours, he was back to being the loud, comical person the city knew him for, and he regretted not coming back sooner.
Ten came by and Hoseok couldn't control his body, he was almost jumping on his feet with excitement to see his friends and go out, enjoy himself and get a taste of the happiness he thought he couldn't have back.
Hoseok had the tendency to forget things he did while being drunk.
He once got naked in front of a whole party in a game of truth or dare, kissed a random guy thinking he was a girl and got punched in the face shortly after, fell from a counter into a table of beer pong, breaking it in two.
He couldn't remember shit the day after, which only made him less conscious about doing shit, and the fact Jungkook actually dragged their asses to a frat party of all places, packed with strangers, only gave him the confidence to drink his soul out of his body.
But Hoseok was no longer the college kid he once was, frat parties, sorority girls, even drinking wasn't so exciting anymore.
Getting drunk became a goal other than enjoyment, the girls that approached weren't that interesting, the music was too loud, the minimal details bothered him.
Old Hoseok would've loved that party, he would be in his element for sure, but that wasn't old Hoseok, it was the Hoseok from the little, quiet apartment, the lonely nights, and the draining job.
Disappointed with himself, he takes a seat on the couch to watch others for a minute, trying to convince himself he had to quit making up excuses to justify his grumpiness and admit it was no one's fault but himself.
During that time he noticed his friends too acted differently from their college selves.
Old Namjoon would've been drunk by one AM, throwing inspirational speeches, but now he was in a corner, talking to his girlfriend and enjoying her laughter.
Yoongi and Seokjin were the quiet ones a few years back, Yoongi would've been composedly laughing at them on the couch, away from the commotion of people, and Seokjin would've been cracking dad jokes to the girls that approached him, but now they were both upstairs with girls they knew little about.
Taehyung was actually talking to the giggling group of girls hitting on him, and not being an arrogant ass like his past fuckboy self, and Jungkook, the shy bunny, the baby of the group, had his legs spread on the couch, feverously making out with his said "fuck buddy".
Nothing made fucking sense.
He laughs to himself at his observation, late night thoughts going through his head, the ones he only had when he had too much to drink and was most definitely not remembering shit the next morning.
A smile still lingers on his lips when his eyes aimlessly meet yours, locking gazes immediately, like you were opposite poles of a magnet.
He unconsciously stands up the moment you walk in through the front doors, your eyes are still glued on him, sharp and firm as if he's a prey, something you wish to put your fingers on. He watches the way your black dress hugs your every curve, thighs exposed, hips moving in the most hypnotizing way.
He blinks repeatedly, wondering if this is some sort of mirage since you stand out so much from the people around you, he can't help but wonder if you are really there or if it's just his wishful thinking, a drunken frenzy.
His shoulders drop with disappointment the moment you face away, making your way into the kitchen, leaving his sight completely.
It takes him a few seconds to get his feet moving, taking his body to the room you just walked in with excitement buddling in his chest.
That was absolutely everything he was looking for, the first time in years he felt this enthusiastic over someone, and he was most definitely not letting it go. He needed that fire, was eager to get it.
To his surprise, the room isn't packed like the rest of the house, a couple making out by the counter, a young boy spilling his guts on the sink and you, leaning against the fridge with a red cup in your hands, so full it threatened to spill, eyes meeting his immediately as if you were expecting him to follow.
-Hello. -You greet him, eyes unfazed and mysterious behind the cup and he hates how drunk he is at the moment, he hates to know he won't remember every second of you, every word you let out with the velvety tone.
-Hello. -He lets out, putting all his effort into making his voice as steady and clear as possible.
A smile quivers in your dark red lips as you can see through his frangible composure and it amuses you.
-What are we going to do? I can see why you came... -You pondered, pouting slightly and raising an eyebrow at the content of your cup. -But I just got here, and I want to dance. -He watches in astonishment as you throw your head back and empty your cup in one go.
Hissing at the burning sensation in your throat, you point him his own glass, motioning for him to do the same, and so he does, wasting no time to please you.
In a matter of minutes, you have his hand in yours, guiding him through the dance floor to find the best spot while meaningless songs play one after the other and as they finish Hoseok fills your cups again.
As he watches you move in the dimmed lights room, swinging your hips and turning your head to grin at him, it is as if your lips are bragging his bewilderment.
You are the complete opposite of her, and he wants to get high on the feeling of you.
Her eyes meant nothing but troublesome, with a cheekiness that said "I don't know what I'm doing but I'm still doing it", while yours draw him as if they held the secrets of the universe, eyes that said, "I have done this all before".
She used to laugh at things he wished she didn't, getting easily distracted, while you made him feel like the two of you were the only thing that mattered. Back pressed against his chest, hips meeting his, resting your head on his shoulder with closed eyes and synchronized movements, it felt like you were in another universe entirely.
Yet another song ends with a fading note and Hoseok glares at your mouth when you spin around and press your chest to his, his hands find your hips automatically like he had done that his whole life.
-Another drink?
You nod in agreement, but then the guitar chords take over the house and the most perfect song for the moment takes over the frat party, your hands dive to his hair, clutching the silky strains and pulling him closer.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
-No! Stay for this song...
"somebody mixed my medicine"
He presses his body against yours, the scent of smoke and cheap alcohol mixed with your perfume is intoxicating.
"Well you hurt where you sleep and you sleep where you lie
Now you're in deep and now you're gonna cry
Got a woman to your left
And a boy to your right"
Finally, it becomes unbearable and Hoseok leans in to clash your lips to his, to find out you are as eager as he is, feeling your hunger for him by the way you take control over the kiss, biting his bottom lip and pressing your nails into his neck.
"You start to sweat so
Hold me tight 'cause..."
At that moment Hoseok realizes just how much he had to drink because he is going for your neck, kissing, biting and sucking at the soft skin, not minding that you are in public, not minding the purple marks that are going to decorate your neck later. He is addicted to the way you expose your neck to his touches, hands falling to squeeze his shoulder.
"Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on"
His head spins the moment you push way, only enough to whisper in his ear.
-Let me be your medicine Hoseok...
Your pupils are dilated and you look beautiful breathless, the only thing he can focus on his blurred, drunken vision.
"Somebody mixed my medicine
Now baby it's all gone"
You guide the way out of the dance floor, pushing people out of the way to reach the stairs.
"Somebody mixed my medicine
And somebody's in my head again"
You turn around to check on him as you make your way up the stair, eyes libidinous.
"And somebody mixed my medicine again, again"
-I need you. -You stated, turning around on the last step to the second floor, taking advantage of the height difference to kiss him again, his body responds promptly, squeezing your ass firmly.
"Well I drink what you leak and I smoke what you sigh
See you cross the room with that look in your eye"
-I need you. -He mumbled eyes closed, face ethereal.
"Got a man to his left and a girl to his right
You start to sweat so
Hold me tight 'cause"
It didn't take long for you to find an empty room and once the door is shut, Hoseok lets out a sign the little self-control he had left quickly dissolved, and he pinned you to the wall, lips meeting the red marks on your neck once more.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
-Make me dirty. -Your voice sends chills down his spine, blood running down to his dick, he stares into your deep, meaningful eyes one last time before turning you around.
"I don't know what I'm on"
Warm chest meeting the cold wall, your ass deliciously pressed against his bulge, he wraps your hair around his wrist and pulls your head towards him, the pleasing pain forcing a muffled moan out of you.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
-You are driving me crazy -He growls in your ear, leaving open mouth kisses all over your neck and shoulders before letting go of your hair, one hand goes to massage your breasts and the other cups your sex, hips grinding into yours.
"Now baby it's all gone"
The way you gasp and throw one of your hands back to caress his hair and bring him closer makes his hairs stand, he realizes you are the hottest thing he has ever seen when your hips syncronize with him, dry humping on the most sinful way as the song plays faintly downstairs.
"Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
And somebody mixed my medicine again, again"
-Ah fuck! -He moans at the sight of your bodies connecting and watch your ass bounce on him, he feels the dampness of your panties only from his fingers. -I want to fuck you so good, you are so wet...
"There's a tiger in the room and a baby in the closet"
-Please do. -You beg, velvety voice dripping arousal.
"Pour another drink mom I don't even want it"
He gives you another hard suck to your neck, feeling the intense need to spread his marks all over you and blood rushes to your core, he takes your dress off, leaving you in your underwear and heels, dripping wet from his touches.
"Then I turn around and think I see someone that looks like you"
-You are so beautiful angel -He breathes to your ear, chills running down your spine as he spins you around to face him again, wasting no time in kissing you.
"Well you hurt where you sleep and you sleep where you lie
Now you're in deep and now you're gonna cry."
-So, so beautiful, my good girl -He grunts when you part, lips brushing yours. -You are so good for me, ruining your panties, asking me to turn you into the dirty girl you love to be. -Hoseok raises one of your thighs to his waist, clothed cock brushing your clit in the most delicious ways.
"Got a woman to your left
And a boy to your right"
-Let me make you feel good. -There's not a trace of shame in your voice when you reach to palm him through his pants, taking great joy from his blown wide pupils and vocal response.
"You start to sweat so
Hold me tight 'cause"
-On your knees then kitten. -He kisses you before you follow his command, dropping to your knees and pulling at his pants while he takes his shirt off, abdomen contracting and relaxing, muscles on display at eye level, your hands itch to touch him.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
When you manage to pull his pants down you feel the weight of his phone on the back pocket, ideas buddle in Hoseok's mind when he sees the device on your hands.
"I don't know what I'm on"
-Can I take a video angel? Can I record your pretty mouth around my cock? -His eyes are glowing with craving and you feel your panties getting impossibly sticky.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
-Do it. -You consent, a smile growing in your swollen lips, the desire in his eyes set your skin on fire, the alcohol you just had makes you lightheaded.
"Now baby it's all gone"
You get rid of his boxers, watching as his dick springs free, hard and glistening with precum, your mouth waters at the sight of him stroking his cock.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
His eyes roll back the second you press a kiss to his tip, groaning when you wrap your warm mouth around him and slowly lower your head, taking him inch by inch.
"Somebody's in my head again, again"
Light hits your face, you raise your eyes to see he's holding his phone, recording as you take his cock in your mouth, his groans get significantly louder and you can't help but take one of your hands to tease your clit, moaning around him.
"And somebody mixed my medicine"
Hoseok grabs your hair, controlling your movements as you swallow around him, the vibrations of your moans drive him crazy. Soon you are barely moving, just keeping your mouth open to receive him as he fucks your face with a firm grip on your hair.
"Again, again, again
Again, again, again
Again, again, again"
Each word is punctuated by his cock hitting the back of your throat. Your gag reflex kicks in and you control your breathing, tears forming and falling down the corners of your eyes, you scratch the back of his thigh with your free hand.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
-What a good girl you are, touching your pretty cunt while I fuck your face. -He caresses your hair, slowing down his trusts.
"Somebody mixed my medicine"
-Put on a show for me, won't you? Open your mouth, tongue out. -He orders and you stare straight at the camera, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out, giving a few teasing licks at the tip of his cock.
"Somebody mixed my medicine again"
-Get up, I need to fuck you right now. -He lifts you up effortlessly, caring you to bed, phone still in his hands. -Hands and knees for me, hold that ass up.
You do so, following his every command, feeling like your skin is on fire whenever he touches you.
-So good. -He leans in, bitting your left ass cheek, squeezing the flesh of the other cheek. -So beautiful, such a good kitten, you are so hot, you make me so hard.
Every praise goes straight to your core, you can't help but push your ass back, looking for his touches, aching from the lack of stimulation. He seems to read your mind, stroking your clit softly through the fabric of your panties.
-Do you like that angel? You like when I touch you like that? Say it. -His thumb makes circular movements, the knot in your stomach grows, you want nothing more than to follow his orders.
-I love it! -You are breathless, fucked out, your throat is sore from being face fucked. -Please fuck me, fuck me and make me cum on your cock. -Your cries seem to have an effect on him because he is soon pushing your panties to the side.
He takes a deep breath, hands tightening at your sides.
-Look at that pussy, soaking wet from sucking my cock. -Hoseok adjusts the angle of the phone so that he can film your clenching pussy next to his hard cock. -Let's prep you hm?
His thumb finds your clit again and the direct contact makes you see stars, muffling a moan with a pillow.
The hand immediately leaves your clit, pulling your hair so roughly you jump in place, pushing your ass against his hips.
-Don't you dare, I want to hear every fucking moan that leaves your mouth, do you understand?
-Yes!
-Are you going to behave?
-F-fuck yes -You moan this time when his fingers leave your hair to tease your entrance, stretching your walls and reaching deep inside you.
-Louder! I want the whole party to hear you! You’d probably love that, wouldn’t you? To have everyone listening as I fuck the shit out of you.
He curls his fingers to hit your G spot, earning yet another long, tortured moan.
-Please fuck me already! I need you to... -His fingers catch speed, hitting all the right spots mercilessly. -I need you to fill me up Hoseok, please, I want your cock so bad!
-Yes angel, beg for my dick, fuck yourself on my fingers, this is so fucking hot. -His fingers slow down, focusing on the movements on your clit. -Why is your bra still on? Take it off and turn over so I can see those perfect tits while I fuck you.
Soon your last piece of clothing hits the floor and you are fully exposed to him, chest rising and falling with your heavy breathing, sweat sticking your hair to your face.
The flash is still on and it only makes it the more intense, Hoseok is also shining with sweat, his muscles are firm under your fingers and his eyes are darker than they have ever been, his hair is pushed back and messy, his mouth is red and swollen just like yours probably is.
He reaches for his pants, taking a condom out of his back pocket and resting the phone, still recording, on the nightstand, quickly sliding the condom on and aligning his cock with your entrance.
His head stretches your walls and he slowly fills you up, giving you a few seconds to adjust before pounding into you in sharp, hard movements that make your legs weak.
-So full... -You mumble incoherently, your drunken breath hits his face and he can't help but lean in to kiss you, firmly pressing his lips to yours as his trusts hit deeper, you let out a scream of his name, scratching the skin of his back.
-What is it angel? Is my cock making you feel good? -He grinds his hips in a way that has the whole bed moving, he hits your cervix with every trust and you roll your eyes to the back of your head, the lewd sounds of your arousal fill the room.
Hoseok kisses you again, moaning into your lips.
-Touch yourself for me, use those fingers on your clit, make yourself cum on my cock. -Your fingers find their way to your sensitive bud, not daring to disobey him.
Your screams get louder, he only goes faster, encouraging you to be loud.
-Yes! Keep fucking me Hoseok, I'm so close to cumming! -You throw your head back, closing your eyes and applying even more force to the hand that is pressing your nails to his back.
His trusts get erratic for a moment, he is getting lost in your pleasure, letting his head down to watch where you two connect.
-Fuck ah! Cum for me baby, let me feel that tight pussy clenching around me!
You can feel your sanity crumbling at the feeling of him hitting your G spot repeatedly, filling you to the limit while you rub your clit and raise your hips to roll against his.
-Fuck fuck fuck Hoseok! -Your cries are desperate now, you open your eyes to find him staring at you from behind his soaked bangs, eyes hungry and sensual.
Your climax hits you full force, sending waves of pleasure through your body and blurring your vision.
-Good girl, good baby. -He chants under his breath, fucking you through your orgasm until your legs are quivering and crushing his hips.
A few more strikes and Hoseok is spilling into the condom, panting and shoving his face in the crook of your neck.
It takes you two a long time to recover.
Two days after the party and Hoseok is excitedly putting his bags on the trunk, getting ready to go back to his apartment and start over.
-Everything alright? Sure you are not forgetting anything? -Seokjin throws his jacket to the back seat to as Hoseok sits in the front.
-Yeah pretty sure I got everything, thanks for the ride. -He gives his hyung one of his signature heart-shaped smiles while buckling his seat belts.
-Sure thing, no need to thank me. -Jin begins to make his way to the airport when he eyes the back seats through the mirror and suddenly turns his heat to see the yellow package. -Oh, do you mind if we stop by my house? I was supposed to leave this there and ended up forgetting about it.
Hoseok's brows furrow, also looking at the package.
-No, no problem!
On their way, Hoseok's mind wonders off to the video he watched at least a thousand times through the course of two days. He can't help but think about you, about how he passed out and woke up to an empty bed, how he wished he had asked your name, how he wished he could have said goodbye.
Jin pulls at the blue house they used to play all the time when they were kids, turning to take the package.
-I thought you had moved out of your parent's? -Hoseok asks, looking at the windows and thinking about all the memories they had.
-I did, I just have to drop this here. -The older leaves the car, jumping the front steps and ringing the bell.
A few seconds later the door is open, Hoseok can't see because of Seokjin's wide shoulders.
Jin leans and Hoseok gasps when he sees that it's you that Seokjin is placing a kiss on the cheek.
Your eyes lock on him, unimpressed but as intense as the night of the party, he is completely frozen, unable to act upon his shocked state.
Jin turns away, getting back in the car while mumbling a random song.
-Who-who is she? -Is all Hoseok manages to ask, eyes not leaving you for a second as you are still watching him from the doorframe.
His friend furrows his brows, chuckling at the question.
-Has it been that long since she had that childish crush on you? That's Y/N, my baby sister, don't you remember how she used to follow you all around?
Hoseok's mouth goes dry, Jin starts the engine.
-I guess she got over you in middle school, thank god, she would never shut up about you!
"I guess she got over you"
Hoseok remembers how he crushed the white rose you once offered him.
"Get over it already, can't you see we will never be together? I don't like you!"
After breaking your heart for the first time, he watched as you cried and begged him not to treat you like that, asking him to be nice like he always was, to see you as he did the other girls, to care for you the way you did for him.
He did, god he did like you, but he could never do that, he could never be with you.
"If any of you ever hit on my sister I swear it's over, I'm never talking to any of you ever again, understood?" Said Seokjin once they all became friends, and those words burned Hoseok's mind while your tears rolled down your face and he wanted nothing more than to clean them.
Now his mind was flooding with the memories of you two days ago, the way you moved, the way you talked, how your eyes burned the sadness and the emptiness from his chest, how he felt alive for the first time in a while.
There, freaking out in silence, he stared at you, wide-eyed, until your brother, his best friend, drove away.
#Hoseok#J hope#Hoseok Smut#J hope smut#Hoseok fanfic#J hope fanfic#Jung hoseok#Hoseok scenarios#bts hoseok#bts#bangtan boys#bts smut#smut#angst#bts angst#hoseok angst#sequel#hot#kpop#kpop smut#kpop scenario#one shot
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Summary: The Spyro adventure that started it all has been rebuilt from the ground up by the studio that brought the world Skylanders. What could possibly go wrong?
Overall: The answer is everything. I cannot recommend this remaster at all. Outside the updated camera controls, every update somehow actively makes this game worse in some way. Just play the original release.
Controls: You can finally control the camera with the right stick. An option exists to let L1 and R1 rotate it as well, but that moves the useless directional rolls to L2 and R2 which means the odd ability to use flame breath with R2 is removed. I always thought it’d make more sense to have the charge on a trigger, but that’s not an option here.
Otherwise the game controls the same, just a lot worse. The jumps are oddly floaty in a way that makes it hard to get a decent glide in. I’ve missed a lot of ledges because my glides just didn’t start from the right height. The free flying segments are a nightmare. The movement is incredibly slow which means you have zero room for mistakes. I’ll get back to these when I talk about the graphics, but spending upwards of half an hour on the second one of these is ridiculous considering I breezed through these earlier this year.
Character Designs: I hate them. I know I said I was going to be more positive going forward but hate is the appropriate word. I have a strong and passionate dislike for these redesigns. Spyro is the only one I’m sort of okay with. I’d rather it be one to one with the character art from the boxes of the original games, but I don’t dislike it. It’s just passable.
Sparx looks terrible. His eyes are so far apart that he looks like he has a mental disability. I do not understand why anyone thought this looked good. I could go on endlessly about the dragons, but I will cut things short and simply say that they are all over designed. I like that there are a variety of body types and that they are much more animated in their appearances, but each one is wearing a bunch of gear which is strange when you consider Spyro is the only one who isn’t wearing any. I’m still baffled that they didn’t do something about the fact that the game is a total sausage fest. Was anyone really going to be mad that one of the 80 dragons got replaced with a female dragon?
And now for the baddies. It’s safe to say a lot of the charm was lost while adding polygons. This comes back the the graphics as well, but none of them really pop anymore. The classic shiny texture that indicates an enemy is resistant to fire is gone. This was an easy way to decide how to attack a foe, but it’s gone because repetitive textures don’t look pretty. Imagine if Portal had changed up the texture of walls you can place portals on so that it was never consistent. This failure to account for the thought process behind these sorts of things just keeps coming up again and again in this remaster. As for the new designs themselves they are sort of faithful. Certain foes like the Magic Crafters and the basic Gnorcs have a lot of issues. The additional detail of the Magic Crafters baddies makes them look less cartoony. I always thought they were wearing oversized sweaters up past their mouths. The Gnorcs just don’t pop against the rest of the grass in their levels.
I never really cared for Gnasty Gnorc as a villain, but I really don’t like the update. Particularly the introduction. The interview opening to the original game I always thought was silly, but it zooming back to show Gnasty watching a TV is strange. Mostly because it raises the question of what does it mean that a TV exists in this universe, especially considering all of the motivational posters around Gnasty’s room. I never questioned the boom microphone in the original games, but when it is all compounded with these additions they somehow broke immersion in a fantasy setting. That’s a rather impressive failing.
Graphics: Graphics over gameplay. That was clearly the design philosophy here. Otherwise I can’t possibly see how some of this got through. I’ve already mentioned the fire proof texture no longer being a thing, but let’s double back to the flight course.
I’m going to go on a brief tangent here, but I’ll come back to make my point. People who are really into music prefer to listen on vinyl records. You may think it’s a bit pretentious, but there is a reason. When you listen on a record the record is all you are listening to. It is not edited for radio. On the radio music is all loud all the time. This is because loud things stand out so you listen. The problem is when everything is loud nothing is loud because loud is what is considered normal. On a record there is no competition so music is edited so that it isn’t all loud all the time. The music can change volume to put emphasis on something.
So what does this have to do with Spyro? Well when everything is bright, nothing pops. The original game had one shade of green for the grass and a darker green for the Gnorcs. This made the Gnorcs pop against the grass. The same goes for the green gems. They popped. Here they are all about the same color so not only does it all look bland, but I’ve had to double back for gems multiple times because I couldn’t see them since they were hidden under the grass or blended into the background. Now you might say “well what about the glimmer of the gems?” and I did check, and it is there. The problem is that it is tiny and blends into the background. If I wasn’t looking for it I wouldn’t have seen it. It’s insanely small in the screen.
So how does this mess with the flight courses? Well the second and third of these are all filled with vibrant colors and crystals that are the same color as the things you’re looking for. They’re also occasionally obscured by the models environment itself. It’s a combination of bad choices and controls that made these flight segments unbearable.
Now I have no idea of these complaints are lessened by having an HDR/4K capable display/console, but that should not matter. If the game design doesn’t work across all console skews than you’ve failed at game design.
One last addition I must make is a comment on the motion blur used in this game. It’s excessive. Now I honestly don’t know what to look for when it’s in motion to spot it, but when I decided to check out all my screen shots it was clear as day. Over half if my screen shots were a blurry mess. Now while this all looks fine in motion it is very clear that they failed to take into account the ability to capture a screen shot. It’s no wonder the pause menu isn’t s paused screen with a menu overly. It’d reveal how awful the game looks when not in motion.
Skill Points: This game originally didn’t have skill points. These new ones are hit and miss. There are quite a few don’t get hit ones and a lot of random tasks, but that seems pretty on par with the other games.
Trophies:
This shouldn’t have been hard. Trophies for the newly added skill points, some for the harder to reach dragons, and some for various completion criteria. Instead they suck. You can double back to most of these, but most of these can easily be missed. Things like flaming the arrow fairies in the speedway or taking out a certain enemy class a certain way in a certain level are oddly specific. It’s just really poor design. It’s not hard, but it is certainly obtuse. If you don’t go in knowing what tasks are required to obtain the trophies, a 110% completion run could end with an incredibly small amount of trophies.
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Bump Maps
Prowl's been trying to make a holomatter avatar for his alt-mode for...
... a whiiiiiile.
It would be great if he could just take a 3D scan of his alt-mode and just load that data straight into his projector; but, unfortunately, he doesn't have his alt-mode to take a 3D scan of anymore.
He can assemble a 3D model of it—that's no problem, he did that weeks ago—but turning the model into an actual avatar is harder. He's got to put graphics on it. He's got to—cover it in texture maps, and such. The paint and the tires and all that. Artistically.
Prowl is not an artist.
He's been doing his best. He's been painstakingly peeling the texture maps off of his bot-mode avatar, finding the places that corresponds to them on his avatar, and sticking them in place. It... sort of works. But they don't quite react to light correctly—shadows will be cast sideways instead of down, reflections show up backwards—and even when he knows he's lined up the texture maps correctly they never flow from one part into the next correctly, and the parts of him that are exposed in alt-mode but covered in bot-mode don't have texture maps yet, and he's trying to copy/paste bits of the texture maps he does have over on top of sections that have similar paint, but they look awful like that, and...
And right now, his alt-mode looks like a very badly rendered prototype of a CGI car that's going into a racing game.
He's working on it again, tonight. In the berth room, so that he can have it hover several feet over the surface of the berths and scale to 200% without clipping through anything or blocking anyone's view—and occasionally slide under it to grumble at the absolutely terrible excuse for texturing on the undercarriage. He's lying on his back on a berth with a datapad in one hand, examining the texture map in the avatar program and the mess of the actual undercarriage, trying to figure out what was wrong—
"What the hell are you doing?"
Prowl sits up abruptly, bangs his head on the undercarriage, and flops back down on he berth, cursing.
In the doorway, Bonecrusher laughs. "Boss, did you do this?"
"Yeah." He's rubbing his chevron. Ow.
"It's as ugly as Blot."
Prowl doesn't know Blot, but is willing to take it on faith that he's probably pretty ugly. "Yeah. I know it is."
"You should be working downstairs. Better lighting. It'd be easier to notice the slag you've got going on with the shadows."
"You all were watching a movie." A very gory movie. "I didn't want to interrupt."
"Pfff, it sucked anyway. Why are you messin' with the undercarriage?" Bonecrusher gets on his hands and knees to crawl underneath the avatar. Prowl shuffles around so that he can watch Bonecrusher without getting off the berth. "That's one of the last details, you shouldn't even worry about it until you've got the sides people are actually gonna see looking..." Bonecrusher rolls over, looks up at the undercarriage, and falls silent.
"... I know."
"Oh. Wow."
"I know."
"Wooow. How the frag did you do that?" Bonecrusher holds up a hand, waving it next to Prowl's face. "Gimme. What program are you using? What's your stylus setting?"
Prowl sticks the datapad in Bonecrusher's hand. "What would I need a stylus for?"
"You're fingerpainting?" Bonecrusher snatches the datapad and examines the texture map Prowl was working on. "Primus 'n' Mortilus, this is a copy-paste nightmare." He holds it up at arm's length, and then pulls it back in, squinting. "You're working with a photo and moving it around to match your undercarriage?"
"Yeah, more or less."
"Where'd you get the photo? Is it your current undercarriage?"
"It's a stock photo."
Bonecrusher yelps. "It's a STOCK PHOTO? It's a stock—photo? It's STOCK?"
Prowl stares at him, wondering what the problem with that was. "Yyyes?"
"Prowl." Bonecrusher reaches up and claps a hand on Prowl's shoulder, startling him. "You're banned from working on your avatar."
"What!"
"Nuh-uh. I'm finishing it. You're forbidden."
"You can't do that. You're—I still haven't paid any of you back, for all the things you..." Prowl trails off. There's an easy solution to that. "... What do you want me to do in return for you?"
"Hm?" Bonecrusher's already got a stylus out and is completely erasing the undercarriage texture map. The avatar above re-renders every few seconds, leaving a blank gray plane where the texture was supposed to be. Bonecrusher stares up at it in naked horror. He whispers, "What did you do to the bump map."
"What's a bump map?"
"Oh my god."
Prowl tries again. "Bonecrusher. Hey."
"What?" He turns to look at Prowl.
"What do you want me to do for you? For—" he gestures up at the alt-mode avatar, "—sorting all this out."
Bonecrusher drops the datapad to his chest, and looks at Prowl thoughtfully. Finally, he says, "... I need somebody to model my avatars while I'm workin' on them. Out in natural sunlight, usin' natural body language and all. trying to work on avatars T-posing in apartment lighting don't show you how they look on an actual person."
"What's tea posing?"
"You know, that thing where when you're workin' on an avatar, it goes like..." He stretches out his arms and legs in a T shape.
"Oh. Yes, right."
"So we'll go out sometimes and find a place with good lighting and I'll work on an avatar."
"What, in public?"
"Yeah, in public!"
Prowl considers it. Well, if he's in an avatar Bonecrusher's working on, nobody will know it's him anyway. "All right, fine."
"All right." Bonecrusher picks up the datapad again and returns to work. "... And if you agree to model some avatars for me when I get that art show Buzzsaw was talkin' about, I'll throw in transformation animations between bot mode and car mode."
"Thank you." Prowl had no idea how he would have handled that. His original plan was to forget about the transformation sequences and just switch back and forth between bot and car.
"So it's a deal." Bonecrusher punches Prowl's shoulder. Apparently that's how he seals deals. "Now go get me a flashlight. I ain't gonna sort out the mess you made of this bump map if all I've got illuminating it is biolights."
"Okay." Prowl slides off the berth, scoots in a crouch around Bonecrusher's legs, and still at a crouch gets out from underneath the avatar.
He heads downstairs to get a flashlight.
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Making A Galaxy Far Far Away: An Aesthetic Photoset Tutorial
Requested by @geleixi (and varying amounts of time ago by @rockett-to-the-purple-moon, @thenameisgreed, @pizzaplanethq, and probably others who sent nice messages that I went “Oh, what a nice message this means so much I LOVE IT SO MUCH I’M TOO ANXIOUS TO ANSWER IT WRONG I’ll just do it later” and then promptly NEVER answered it.)
Brainstorming & Photo Collection
Picking a Color Palette
Choosing Images from Collection
Coloring
Textures & Effects
First off: I am not even going to remotely pretend like graphic design is a Thing I Am Better At Than Anyone Else, because that would be patently false and ridiculous, but I also get a fair number of Asks about making photosets/aesthetic posts, so here we are. I’m planning to do a separate one, maybe, for how I do the Cartoon Girls All Grown Up and Nancy Drew Dream Games series, because the “brainstorming and photo collection” part is so different that it inherently affects the rest of the process.
BUT I also feel like I don’t see a ton of tutorials that go through the brainstorming/finding images part of making aesthetics, and I tend to think of my Graphics Style(TM) as “DEEPLY Uninterested in washed-out faux sepiatone grimdark Tumblr Coloring?? + Not Good Enough At Masks To Do Negative Space Well,” which might be some people’s level of ~graphics design passion(TM)~ too, so. That’s the ride for which this ticket has been bought.
Brainstorming & Photo Collection
Obviously, the specifics of this are totally different for every aesthetic, but all of the GFFA/swworlds start from the same seed: Star Wars Aesthetic.
Star Wars itself has a very particular Lookque, imo: it’s not quite retrofuture, it’s not quite dirtpunk, it’s not quite scifi, even. There are the insanely sumptuous (and hella culturally appropriative) queens of Naboo and the ramshackle toppled AT-AT where Rey lives on Jakku and the not-even-subtle-at-all-jfc Nazi inspiration of the Empire and First Order and the straight-up millennial Tumblr witch Goffik look of the Dathomir Witches and Zabrak siths and the blue, blue water of Scarif. There “isn’t” a unifying aesthetic through Star Wars, and yet, as Gareth Edwards said, there’s a LOOK and FEEL to Star Wars: if you go a little too far to the left or right, it isn’t Star Wars anymore.*
*That said, this tutorial talks about Crait, which was invented by Rilo Jon, who went both too far left and too far right but mostly... too far-right. BA DUM BUM! Anyway.
So part of what makes Star Wars Look Like Star Wars, to me, is that it ISN’T ever Too Scifi. There’s a realism in all of Star Wars’ disparate planets -- their looks, anyway; like, talking about how Crait, in this case, makes NO ecological sense as a planet AT ALL is another post entirely. (IT MAKES NO SENSE.) It’s different from, like, Doctor Who, which I think revels in its “we can make these aliens and planets look like WHATEVER” more? Star Wars tends to be very like... “we want to use practical sets and effects.” Even for planets that only appear thus far in Clone Wars and Rebels? So it’s definitely part of the intention of SW’s Aesthetic.
ALL OF THAT TO SAY, my first step with each planet is to figure out the best way to represent it using as much real-world photography as I can and how best to channel the ~spirit of Star Wars~ in the graphic. Sometimes I fail miserably. CURSE YOU, NAR SHADAA. But most of the time it helps provide a Framework for the rest of the brainstorming and photo collection.
SO. FOR CRAIT. (For another example/totally different look and process, I wrote up a little about Haruun Kal on its post here.)
Crait has the definite benefit of appearing in one of the movies, so the first part of photo collection was to screencap TLJ. I took the caps using the 1080p digital release at a 20-frame frequency, so even once I deleted the aps that weren’t of Crait (moving the Canto Bight frames into a folder for Cantonica, of course!), I had like... 1500 images just from TLJ to start the brainstorming and collection with.
First, I trimmed down those ~1500 screencaps to 168 caps that were distinct enough from one another to give me a sense of “what happens” in the scene and, more than that, “What Crait Looks Like.” Then, because there’s additional canon material of Crait besides TLJ, I saved the unlettered images of “Star Wars: The Storms of Crait” from comic penciller Mike Mayhew’s blog @mikemayhew -- if those hadn’t been available, which they’re usually not for planets that appear in the comics (THANX MIKE MAYHEW!!!), I would have taken and cropped panels from the comic at both 100% and screen-fit/60% sizing that had utility for a graphic about planet scenery and not character.
THEN, I looked at Wookieepedia and MSW. Crait was based on the Salar de Uyuni salt flats in Bolivia, so I Google image-searched that. There weren’t actually very many images of the Salar de Uyuni salt flats that I super loved, so I ended up saving images of other salt flats as well, particularly the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah.
THEN there was the issue of the red minerals, which were entirely fictional and not part of any real-world salt flat. BUT, there IS real red sand... so I saved some images of red-sand dunes (mostly Mui Ne in Vietnam). I also went through my Star Wars Stock Folder to find images of crystal caves and mines that I’d either saved for other planets in the past, but didn’t end up using, OR just saved because there are so fucking many crystal-based planets in SW.
Each of my big graphics series has its own Stock Folder for unorganized images that just strike the right Vibe~ and might be useful someday, in addition to every planet (or cartoon girl, or US state for the Nancy Drews, etc) having its own folder for specific/organized image collection.
My Star Wars Stock Folder:
So there were already a lot of crystals, star destroyers, blasters, and bunkers that were actually in snow but whatever it was white and crystalline, to work with. I added some workable Crait-like images from the stock folder to Crait’s collection, too.
AND THEN, finally, I LOVE the vulptices, so I searched for (and found!) some of the concept art and 3D modeling images from ILM, and I put those in the folder, as well.
I also saved this, hoping I’d be able to make it work because it’s SO CUTE, but I couldn’t, but here LOOK HOW CUTE:
And then, lest I stay in the image-collection rabbithole forever, I said, “OK, that’s enough.” I ended up starting to actually MAKE the Crait graphic from a collection of 272 images:
Picking a Color Palette
Obviously, the dominant colors of Crait are red and white, so the aesthetic had to be based in red and white. My first instinct was to make a duotone aesthetic using only red, white, and black/grayscale. Something like this:
Which... I don’t hate, or even dislike. It’s definitely more in line with popular Tumblr aesthetic, uh, aesthetics. But I usually don’t like landing on that kind of coloring because it ALWAYS, ALWAYS whitewashes people of color (and jeez, it even whitewashes white people -- look at the model in the fourth frame down on the left, or Luke in the bottom-left.) The “vibrance -100 + Selective Color Red>Red + 100″ always ends up doing the above example to, in this case, Poe: turning him into a licorice man.
So then trying to correct THAT either whitewashes the FUCK out of him/people in general:
(Toning down the red)
Or introducing other colors back into the graphic as a whole:
(Upped yellow and cyan.)
So I nixed that coloring before I even started. (These examples were made after the fact purely to serve as examples.)
I went back to the drawing board, AKA the Crait image folder.
But looking at the collected images -- especially the screencaps and the panels from the Storms of Crait comic -- I was struck by how much Crait also incorporates yellow and blue. (Note that I really, really wanted to try to include Trusk Berinato and Bail Organa... but we’ll talk through why that didn’t work out.) I LOVE @droo216‘s bright, almost jewel-tone edits which I 100% know I don’t have either the patience or skill to make, but I liked the idea of trying to make Crait’s aesthetics in a primary colors + black/white scheme.
Which I actually really like! (Again, made post-facto as an example.) But again, red vibrance DiD tHe tHiNG!!! to Poe and ESPECIALLY to Finn and Bail.
So a high-vibrance look emphasizing bright colors was a no-go. Besides, going back to the source material: high-vibrance and high-energy are the opposite of what the planet of Crait is about. It’s a dying husk of a planet, being killed slowly by its own ecology as the salt in its crust dries out everything beneath it, sucking up water until everything either evolves into living crystal-dogs or goes extinct (thank u Rilo for not including dune-worms, this is the one thing you did right). Crait wouldn’t be vibrant.
But... aha! It’s also distinctly layered. I’ve done three-panel swworlds aesthetics before, so I decided to do that for Crait, too: first a mostly-white graphic like the salt crust, then white+red+yellows in the middle, and finally a dark layer of almost entirely red like the mineral mines.
Choosing Images from Collection
With the color palette and “feel” decided (dying at the surface, then growing richer and redder and angrier as the photoset moved downwards), I was able to choose images.
NEKKID PHOTOSETS SANS ANY EDITING! XXX! But for reference to see both cropping and for reference on choosing.
TOP IMAGE, MOSTLY WHITE:
L-R, TOP-BOTTOM:
I saved this image from my dash at some point and have been tossing it into planets’ folders every time there’s a white-based color scheme. It almost got used for Ilum, but at the last second wasn’t. I felt like it fit the coalescence of Rey’s Force strength here, and also the kind of “last wisps” of Luke Skywalker, well.
“Lifting rocks.”
I’m actually still not 100% whether I should have landed on a vulptex here, but dammit they were one of the only good parts of TLJ. This vulpie baby is on the salt surface, looking out at the blinding sun, so she seemed like a good fit compared to the other caps of vulptices -- the ones loping on the canyon surface at the end were all very motion-blurry.
Carrie in that gorgeous coat in homage to Harrison in Blade Runner makes me weepy, and those were some of the most beautiful shots in the movie. This one had a good balance of white and black, so it could be placed around any level “busyness” in the surrounding photos. Especially since I suckkkk at negative space.
I saved this image to the Crait folder like the day it was announced as a planet in the upcoming Episode VIII and given its first peek. I love it!
Hi, salt flats, and also Star Wars spaceships. I actually had a lot of trouble with the level of green in this image, but the ~essence of Star Wars is PEW PEW SPACE BATTLE, so.
This is an ice sculpture in real life! It reminds me of the vulptices and is cool as hell.
The Millennium Falcon! I toyed with different caps that showed it in actual battle, but the blue would have been hardest to work with in this photoset compared to the others below. Plus, now I can save a bunch of Falcon-in-flight pictures for use on planets that only appear in the novels or comics.
NECESSARY, ICONIC, PERFECT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT HAPPENED ON CRAIT.
Fine, this is a snowy mountain and not a salt flat, but I liked the striations in color and gentle variations in grayscale.
This was the palest/least Bright Blue sky of all of the Falcon screencaps from Crait.
I tried a few screencaps of Crait from TLJ, but I landed on using the full-panel image of Crait from Storms of Crait. It has the cleanest definition of the “planet from space” options we have of Crait.
This is a promo image, not a screencap. It’s a much crisper view of the ski-speeders. I love the vivid color difference.
The blue-and-yellow additions to the color scheme didn’t work out, but I did still want to include Storms of Crait. This shot had a little more blue in it than I would have liked, but it has Leia in a ski-speeder back before the salt caused them to rust out, too!
Remember when it seemed like the Crait battle’s new AT-ATs would be super cool and like, do more than stand there menacingly behind Kyle? Me, too.
POE! DAMERON! HAS! NEVER! DONE! ANYTHING! WRONG! IN! HIS! LIFE!
KYLE! HAS! ONLY! EVER! DONE! WRONG! IN! HIS! LIFE!
I tried out like five different tiny-frame-difference screencaps of the ski-speeders kicking up red minerals, and I decided that this one, with a clearly defined spray of red surrounded by white and bluish sky, suited the placement here best: there’s red in the panel to its left as the main color, but minimal red in the above- and below panels.
I wanted to include actual Connix, but she’s wearing yellow and only ever shows up surrounded in brownish-black darkness, so here, have one of my standard Fashion Rebel Officer Stand-Ins instead -- the red and white obviously played a part in picking this shot over the rest of the options from the photoshoot.
I LOVE this slightly mystical shot of a Rebel pilot slash astronaut on a rain-slicked salt flat. How perfect?!
As we get down to the bottom of this middle panel, I wanted to include more destruction and more presence of yellow and orange. This image has a good balance of “negative space” in the sky and salt flat, and then the explosion of Nodin Chavri’s ski-speeder (I think?) ties in well to...
Finn and Rose, post-collision. I wanted to include Rose, and the almost JJ Abrams-esque white starburst in the center of this cap is a good balance to the spray of red around a ski-speeder two panels above.
Luke on Crait in the Rebel Alliance...
And Luke on Crait in the Resistance.
This was a kind of “????” moment of characterization -- and general direction -- in TLJ, but Luke surrounded by red as an old man would fall right below Luke as a young man, on his first mission after the Battle of Yavin, when the three graphics were aligned.
I wanted to use the straight-up concept art of the vulptex, but the black around it was TOO black, if that makes sense? So I layered it over a darkened cap of the vulptex who leads Poe to Rey and freedom. This is one of the very rare shots that I use an edited base image.
Han and Chewie! I had to include Han and Chewie. The unlettered panels from Storms of Crait that show the mineral mines are stunning; I highly recommend heading over to Mike Mayhew’s page and taking a look. The detailing of the crystals is something I wish I could have captured better at this scale.
This is one of the red-sand dunes I saved! Crait doesn’t have any living vegetation, but the drama of the black, stormy sky and the red sand drew me in here.
Some CGI crystal caves... I saved these ages ago for use on Ilum or Dantooine, I think? (Same with what will be #11 below.) I don’t love using CGI, but I think the crags on these crystal growths suited the images from canon!Crait.
A screencap of the TIEs chasing the Falcon through the mines. This was honestly one of the most visually stunning parts of TLJ, and it’s so split-second that most people missed it AND most of the screencaps have a lot of motion-blur. I’m really pleased that this one came out so crisp, and I knew I had to use it as an “anchor image.”
Finn, full-on, in red. I’m realizing belatedly as I write up this tutorial that I showed Poe face-on and Finn face-on, but I stupidly chose to show Rey only from a distance. I AM A FOOL! A FOOL!
Aren’t these resin crystals amazing? The full-size image actually shows them surrounded by snow, by the tree-stump they’re on wouldn’t fit Crait, so I cropped in closer on this image than I did for most of the Crait set.
Another shot of the Falcon in the mines. I like the way the framing of white sunlight here echoes...
Leia’s face, a bright spot in the dark, watching out over the salt flat. :(
(See #5 above!)
And again, the homage of Carrie’s coat looking like Harrison in Blade Runner made me sad, so I THREW IN ANOTHER HAN AND CHEWIE. The mining equipment here shows more detail than in the screencaps above, too.
Coloring
Like I mentioned waaaay above, in the intro: I never use set colorings for photosets. (Except Halloween Spookstravaganza, because jeez so many of those screencaps are like 240p VHS rips and it’s just not worth putting in Effort(TM).)
That said, I think one thing that I do differently than I see in most tutorials is this first step:
I ALWAYS start Aesthetic photosets by arranging the images and then *BRINGING THE CONTRAST ALL THE WAY DOWN.* This is especially helpful on photosets that include a mix of real photography, CGI screencaps or art, and/or comics panels, but it’s also just useful in general for photosets that use images from a wide variety of places.
The reason I do this is because it helps to “smooth out” the differences in light source, color balance, etc., that are part of the raw base images. For this set, it also helps to define the variations in color between very similar shades: the craters on Crait, the wisps of clouds, etc.
In some cases, I’ll do two layers of Contrast -50. For Crait, I did a later of Contrast -50 and then a layer of Contrast -15.
Then, I Select All > Copy Merged > [Turn Off Contrast Layer View] > Paste As New Layer.
Now, the “smoothed” version is placed as a layer above the raw layer. From there, it depends on the look of the photoset what I do -- sometimes, I leave it as-is, but I almost always lower the opacity on the “smoothed” layer until the level of contrast and balance looks consistent across the whole photoset. For Crait, I ended up with the “smoothed” layer set to Lighten 100%.
Selective Color time. There are two ways I usually start this: either one color at a time -- especially for Aesthetics like Pheryon that will essentially be monochromatic -- or, in this case, I looked at the balance of the three main colors that would carry through the entire Aesthetic.
REDS
Cyan -100 (This brightens the vivacity of the red.)
Magenta +100
Yellow +100
Black +35
BLACKS
Cyan 0
Magenta 0
Yellow 0
Black +100
WHITES
Cyan 0
Magenta 0
Yellow 0
Black +100 -- This is NOT my usual setting for adjusting white, and since white is one of the main colors in the Crait Aesthetic, it might seem counterintuitive to make the white darker instead of brighter. However, this will help to make next step of color adjustments “take” on the white/whitish surfaces a lot more easily, and it will also help to balance out the bluish sky areas with the white background areas. (I’m not sure this explanation makes sense? But it’s what I did.)
Then, I Select All > Copy Merged > [Turn Off Selective Color Layer View] > Paste As New Layer > Either COLOR or HUE 100%.
“Hue” is more effective for smaller, more incremental color adjustments -- for BIG SWEEPING COLOR CHANGES, “Color” tends to work better. But it totally depends on the photoset! Try both, and see which you like better.
I feel like this is kind of the step where my process of making aesthetics stops being any different from most tutorials -- but this has been HUGELY helpful for me, a non-graphic designer-person, to be able to create a kind of “base image” that has very similar color values, brightness/contrast, and vibrance.
Sometimes this step helps to create really extreme color differences, such as in the Raydonia Aesthetic, and other times, I use it to just adjust one or two color-values so that there’s more consistency in, say, shades of yellow or shades of green, as in the Takodana Aesthetic, for which I just wanted to create a more cohesive palette of green in particular... it started out with a zillion greens, and I wanted to bring it all together into one “aesthetic.”
I think this step, and the reasoning behind it, are why SO MANY PSDs for aesthetics rely on a layer of either gray or sepiatone-ish set to Darken or Multiply as one of their key layers. But I’m just not about the grimdark life, and if I’m making an AESTHETIC OF A THING, I want the aesthetic POST to actually HAVE THAT THING’S AESTHETICS, you know?! I want to use the colors of the thing that I’m saying is meant to evoke the visuals of the thing!
Anyway. Now you have your BASE IMAGE. Often I’ll Merge All here, just for my own sanity.
Then I go in and make any other other adjustments on a “coloring” level that I think will help with the “vibe” I’m going for! For this Crait set, I definitely needed to bring the brightness up so that the white and red popped. However, bringing up the brightness also swallowed a lot of the detail in the white surfaces -- especially the planetary surface of Crait in that bottom-right space -- so I decreased the contrast again.
Brightness +70
Contrast -50
And then I go in for the macro-level adjustments of color using any mix of Selective Color, Hue/Saturation, and Color Balance that works. For Crait, that was more Selective Color, because since I had decided on my color palette, and it sadly did not include blue, I needed to start by taking out as much of the blue, cyan, and green that I could.
And I’m ngl, I told myself the WHOLE FREAKING TIME I was making this photoset that I needed NOT TO DELETE THE PSD RIGHT AWAY LIKE I USUALLY DO so that I could write up all the settings for this step.
But it was a reflex. And I deleted the PSD right away like I always do.
So suffice to say, I just futzed with the levels one at a time until the RED was brought up a little, the YELLOW was brought up a lot, and everything else was brought down and/or hue-adjusted to sliiiide into being yellow, red, or black/white.
Another Select All > Copy Merged > [Turn Off Selective Color Layer View] > Paste As New Layer > Either COLOR or HUE 100%. I think I also DUPLICATED this layer and set it to SOFT LIGHT 50% and then duplicated it again to SCREEN 50%.
I could have left it like this, but I am me and I am nothing if not Extra All The Time, so I opened up my folder of light textures (and other textures) and decided to Go To Town.
Textures & Effects
For your Aesthetic-Making Purposes, here are the three I used on the Crait set:
The first two were set to Screen 100%, and the bottom one was set to Burn 15%. I layered them in this order.
It still looked incomplete, so I decided to use this POWDR Element from Creative Market, which is actually like 5400x5400 pixels and which I’m not going to share here because I paid for it and don’t want CM to revoke my access or whatever, but it looks like this, only HUGE:
I also set this element to Burn 15% and moved it around the image until it looked the way I wanted it.
Textures and effects aren’t In on Tumblr anymore, but I really like using them -- they add, not to be cheesier than usual, texture to an aesthetic post, and I think that they can also help less-skilled graphic-makers like me to hide any myriad of imperfections in coloring, sharpening, whatever. I’m an especially big fan of this noise element (set as a pattern on Screen), so I’m going to share it here even though I didn’t use it on the Crait set:
Most of my textures have been saved over the last literally twenty years since I started making fannish graphics and photosets, largely from defunct old LiveJournals, but there also used to some great sources for them on Tumblr and still are live sources for them on DeviantArt. Just search around and you’ll find what you want! :)
In conclusion, I think it’s infinitely more fun NOT to rely on premade PSDs or standardized Settings, but I also recognize and fully respect that if I made graphics differently, I would probably get easily 5-10x more notes on each post than I do. But I make graphics the way that’s fun for me, and I just try to learn a little something from every set I make. The GFFA Planets/swworlds in particular have been something that I started, originally, because I wanted to catch up and learn about Star Wars planets that I felt like I was missing because I don’t have any fannish history with the Old EU, and I wanted to learn about them in a way that helped me feel like I was engaging with the SW source material AND making the enormity of the canon more accessible to other newish or casualish fans, like I was two years ago when I started this aesthetic series. I like making aesthetics that are genuinely inspired by the aesthetic of the thing that I’m calling it an aesthetic of, so even when it ends up just looking like rainbow barf (CURSE YOU, NAR SHADDAA!!!) I’m having fun.
THAT SAID, here’s how the time breakdown for the Crait set works out:
TOTAL TIME INCLUDING IMAGE COLLECTION AND SCREENCAPPING: Est. 20 hours.
COLORING AND ACTUAL GRAPHIC-MAKING PART: 7 hours.
WRITING UP THIS TUTORIAL: 5 hours.
So, um, if you are so inclined, here is my Ko-Fi link. I post at least two graphic sets every week, sometimes up to 25 (usually during October).
I hope this was helpful at all! I had a good time thinking about my process in-depth like this, and I would love to get tagged in any aesthetics you might try making using a similar method! :)
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COMPLETED: Mega Man Legends
Move over Sahelanthropus, I got all the walking mechs I need right here.
This game is great!
I BEAT IT!
I think it took about 8 hours (not counting a few reload/restarts here an there). While a few of the games I’ve played recently also took around the same amount of time, I kept feeling...frustrated about my progress. Mega Man Legends, on the other-hand, was a constant joy to play! I’m so blown away by how great this 1997 game is. I could gush over it all day, but Imma try to be focused...
The Story
This is where the game started off light and unimpressive, but ultimately turned out quite well. The story felt very basic: “The world needs crystal energy (refracters), and I play a ‘Digger’ that looks for them be exploring ancient ruins. But while I’m a well-meaning digger, there are ill-meaning pirates to worry about.” While the story wasn’t much, it did present the story very cinematically. The cutscenes told the story the gameplay couldn’t, but they didn’t overwhelm the player like Metal Gear Solid.
The player eventually crash-lands on an island with a city and lots of people. The player may speak with these people, even performing sidequests and developing relationships. The characters aren’t super deep, but they all have some personality and story. It helps build the charm of this world. I really appreciated it.
The antagonists are a family of pirate siblings. Tron Bonne is interesting in that she’s a bit of a brat, but has affections for Mega Man. She’s also moved by his heroism and genuineness. She finds herself emotionally conflicted between her older brother who insists on being “bad” and her feelings for Mega Man that shows there’s a better way to live. Though this is mostly used for comedic effect, it also makes her the most interesting and well-rounded character. At one point, Mega Man thinks he may have killed the pirates (including Tron) in a major battle. The heroes treat this as an unintended tragedy, and do not rejoice in their victory (I love it!), then later, Mega Man finds Tron alive is over-the-moon. She’s put off by it, but conflicted. After Mega Man defeats the trio again, the eldest brother, Tiesel, offers his honorable recognition of Mega Man’s superiority and offers to leave in peace. Tron is surprised and touched, but then it turns out to be a ploy.
It’s all pretty silly but still engaging character development.
The game’s story contains quite a bit of mystery. Why are Reaverbots activating? What’s hidden beneath the island? What’s the connection? It’s revealed that these ancient ruins (which are from a more advanced civilization) actually contain a weapon. This weapon feels that humans are over-populating and that it should purge the island as a population control effort. Mega Man finds this cruel and stops it. In the process, it’s revealed that Mega Man has a deep connection to system that wanted to purge the island. It’s hinted that he may serve some deeper purpose: maybe to act as the moral compass of unfeeling, ant-human protocol? The message I got was that humans destroyed the earth, causing a great flood and societal/technological collapse. So then machines were created to limit human influence, but their purpose is so old and outdated, it’s become an artifact itself.
There’s a fun twist here where Mega Man is captured. But the pirates realize that it’s more important to save the island than defeat Mega Man, so they release him and support his victory against the boss.
It’s still not super deep, but much deeper than I realized. And with all the various characters and personalities, it’s one of the best story experiences I’ve had in a game (though a bit goofy).
The Graphics
Are great! There’s a few issues. I think PS1 games pre-1998 had a different look and feel than post 1998 (and then again, post 2000). It feels like early game artists were still trying to figure out 3D modeling with limited hardware. So a lot of the best known tricks hadn’t been discovered yet. So MML definitely has a few Pre-1997 qualities, but it also has plenty of areas where it really looks great.
The savior is the cartoon-styled graphics. Most characters have solid-color clothes and accessories with few details. Because the art is consistent throughout, it just feels right. And then the facial animations are great. Games like Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, and Metal Gear Solid had in-game cutscenes, but the characters’ faces were unanimated. Sometimes they’d bob their heads to imply speaking--but it was all kinda goofy. MML, on the other hand, included moving mouths and changing face expressions during cutscenes. It really sold the cinematic vibe and is quite impressive for PS1 game.
So even though technical limitations really prevent this game from looking great, the art-direction and advanced facial animations keep this game looking great!
The Gameplay
1. Controls
Unfortunately, the controls kind of suck. Mega Man controls somewhat like a tank. A tank that can move side ways. While games like Mario 64 had free 3D movement with a camera that tried to keep up--MML has a camera that stays firmly facing forward that only rotates when the player rotates MM.
It’s a little off-putting. If I push “down”, MM runs toward the screen: completely facing the opposite direction of the camera. In most 3D platformers, the camera would try to rotate behind the character. Not MM. It keeps facing the same direction. When I stop moving, MM turns back to face the same direction as the camera.
I think they were trying to make shooting and combat easier. And I think their head was in the right place. But it makes the game hard to learn. Still, once you get used to it, it works ok. This is the worst part of the game, but the difficulty is well balanced that I don’t feel punished by the controls.
2. Combat
The combat isn’t super deep, but that also means it’s not overbearing. The combat feels more like Crash Bandicoot, with each enemy having an attack pattern that must be learned and subverted. But mostly, you just got to know when to shoot it. So it keeps the combat accessible while also interesting and mentally challenging. This is better than a lot of American Shooters that just have you fight a variety of projectile based enemies--run, dodge, shoot...
Adding depth to the combat is a cool customizable Buster (gun). You can collect a variety of parts that boost Attack, Range, Attack Speed, and “Reload”. Some parts affect more than 1 stat, allowing the player to try a variety of combinations to boost their effectiveness and compliment their play-style. You may also change configurations based on the boss or enemy type. It’s a simple, and fun system that adds plenty of depth to what could have been a straightforward action title.
What’s also neat about these parts: they’re often rewards for side-quests. Such quests might be rebuilding a clubhouse, participating in game shows, or finding a lost loved-one. It’s great because it provides a lot of bonus quests for the player that meaningful and rewarding both as an experience and on a material level.
The boss fights are also pretty interesting, assuming you’re properly equipped. They can be a bit challenging or confusing, but they’re quite diverse. Maybe you’re defending the town from bull-dozer bots, or engaged in air-to-air battles, there’s plenty of unique experiences. I was especially impressed with the walking-mech battle. I think there’s another boss just as tall, but this involved a very destructible city block. It reminded me of the Sahelanthropus battle of Metal Gear Solid V...or does that battle remind me of this? Either way--it was just more icing on top of a great experience.
3. Adventure/Pacing
I like to differentiate between action and action-adventure. Action, to me, is very linearity and to the point. Action adventure often asks the player to do more than fight their way to the exit, but to discover the path to the exit. Even better, they allow the player to discover much of the game--allowing for maximized freedom in progress.
Zelda Games are often the best examples of letting the player set their own pace and find their own way. Ocarina of Time is a true stand-out here. The game doesn’t tell you want to do, but pushes you in the right directions. Still, you’re not often limited to one set order of events to proceed and can do some quests in any order. Mega Man Legends does this as well.
Once you get past the first hour or so, the game really opens up. There’s people to talk to, secrets to find, and there’s rarely a rush to complete the next objective. You’re free to grind for resources and buy that gun upgrade, or just push through--relying purely on your skill to overcome challenges. But what really makes the game like this work is the “down time”.
Dark Forces 2, Mysteries of the Sith, and Jedi Outcast are fun action games--but there’s only one thing to do: fight your way to the end. Even if there’s sub-objectives to the over-all level, there’s no freedom. While several Mega Man battles take place in the town, the city is usually a place of no combat. But there’s plenty to do, secrets to find, and characters to interact with. And once a dungeon has been defeated, it’s nice to go back and look for secrets or grind. It makes the game way more diverse and I feel more in control as a player.
This is really important. Because the Star Wars games (and even Thief) are sooo straightforward and 1-dimensional, I get fatigued very quickly. And seeing as I like to beat a game before moving on, I get frustrated. I feel like these games are in the way of me finding happiness. Not a good reason to play games. But MML made me happy to play it. Even if I didn’t feel like taking on the next dungeon, I could do side quests or grind on an easier dungeon and not feel like I’ve wasted time. It all helps me succeed in the future. And that gives me joy.
Mega Man Legends is joy!
I started this game way back in 1997 or 1998, and I restarted it many times since. This was the first time I beat it, and I love it--absolutely. Likely a top 10 game for me. I hope to add this to my rotation of games to replay till the end of my days--but then again, I’m curious if Mega Man Legends 2 will outshine it??
#Zach's Game Journal#COMPLETED#Mega Man Legends#PlayStation#PS1#PS1 games#Video Games#Gaming#DuckStation#Emulation
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RoR2 Q&A 12/2/17
Since we got a million asks, I’ll collapse all the answers periodically into one giant QA so it doesn’t ruin your tumblr feed. I tried to answer every question - if yours isnt there, someone else might’ve asked the same question. Expand below to read!
Q: Are you thinking about putting out a beta version to test or are you just waiting for the game to be fully released
A: Not sure exactly how we want to do it – we HAVE to have some way of getting the game out to testers, especially for networking/matchmaking testing. It will most likely be some form of closed/limited beta, but we really haven’t though too much about it.
Q: Any ideas on what the system requirements could be? Will they be high or playable on most machines? Also will it work with integrated graphics?
A: Most likely the game will be pretty light for GPU with our graphical style, but CPU intensive. What that actually translates to won’t be until the game is closer to launch, where we start optimizing.
Q: ROR1 most loved thing me and my friends liked to do is ruining the framerate with all the items that we had. we had lots of fun crashing the game for whoever hosted the game. might this still be able to happen? I'm looking forward to the release anyway and so are my friends especialy with peer to peer now we can connect better.
A: Uhh hopefuly you won’t be able to crash the game, but the game will still scale infinitely like it did previously
Q: Could you make it so that when you use Unstable Watch and timestop, all colors in the game become inverted for the duration? And if you want to go all the way with a certain reference, have only Chef's cleavers stop in midair at the edge of a radius from an enemy, and when the timestop ends the cleavers hit at the same time.
A: No memes
Q: Super excites for risk of rain 2. Im real glad i found it in a steam summer sale, bought then and after that bought it for my ps4. Are we going to see any new characters? (Bandit will always be fav so as long as hes good im happy)
A: Yes, definitely new characters!
Q: can you make one of the new death messages be "HOST WHEN?"
A: No memes!!!!
Q: While Vita's out of the question, what about the Switch, which basically seems to have slotted itself in the 'more powerful handheld device' niche?
A: We’d obviously love to be on the switch, but that ultimately depends on A. can we optimize the game to run on the Switch, and B. do we have the technical know-how to actually get it running? Porting to consoles tends to be a much more dramatic change than people expect, even if the engine natively exports to it.
Q: Hi. I’ve been a fan of risk of rain for the past few years. I just want to ask: in risk of rain, some mechanics like heaven cracker can pierce a line of enemies and the huntress’ ability to hit and run. With the change from 2D to 3D environment, how will they work? There are many other abilities and mechanics that i also want to ask about, but these two were the first ones that i could remember immediately.
A: We’re not going to bring back any mechanics that don’t fit just for the sake of continuity – however, the Heaven Cracker I can see being actually more fun in 3D since you have to actually align yourself with the enemies. Since everyone can shoot and run in the 3D version, Huntress’ niche is sorta gone, but we have some clever ideas to make that back
Q: In DevBlog #8 you explain some of the steam integration going into Risk of Rain 2 which will make a lot of people happy but will RoR2 also be available without steam for those who prefer? For example will I be able to buy it on GOG like I did RoR1, and play LAN games without steam?
A: Right now we’re focusing on making it work via Steam P2P, but (I believe) that we haven’t done anything to explicity lock out connections via IP. You just won’t get the same Nat punchthrough benefits (I’ll have to ask Jeff, our network dude about it to make sure this is correct, but afaik I think that’s right)
Q: Would you guys happen to have an idea of when you think the game would be realeased?
A: Nope! Hopefully not too long!
Q: Hello! I loved Risk of Rain 1 and it is great to play with friends. I have two questions (technically three, I'm cheating). 1. I am assuming you're going to release it on steam, so that said will there be steam multiplayer integration? Like... Invite via steam, games are created with the help of steam peer-to-peer. It was a pain to get 4 people playing on one server without port forwarding. 2. Will there be a better way to keep track of items? 3. Can you add a menu to see what items you have?
A: Yes, steam invites and all that are the goal. I know we talked about holding TAB to expand the item menu so you could see more at once, but we haven’t actually done that yet. I know it was a bit silly for it to be uncropped and expanding off the screen.
Q: Is this still in development?
A: No we’re just pretending
Q: Are you gonna have the same soundtrack from the first game? A different soundtrack? A mix of both? (Don't get rid of the Dried Lake or Sunken Tombs songs).
A: That’ll ultimately be up to Chris, but I’m sure he’s in the same boat as us and doesn’t want to cover the same ground that we did previously.
Q: I was telling a friend how excited I was for this, and he expressed a concern I’d like to ask you guys about. He said that, being 3D, the game might end up either not as hectic as the first, or too hectic, what with the hoards coming from all around you. What’s your take on this? (I’m not actually too worried about it, but I still wanna hear your take on the matter.)
A: Currently, we’re using SFX as a tool to present not only how close an enemy is, but what state they’re in and how many there are. Since I’ve also been playing the game for like a million hours I’ve also developed the ability to recognize which enemy by the frequency of their screenshake… but that won’t be relevant to most players. We’re really hoping to avoid radars or anything like that for awareness.
Q: Just wanted to say, RoR2 is looking to be coming along fantastically. I really love that you are constantly taking things in unexpected directions-- I never expected to see the game translated to 3D but you have done it and I can imagine many hundreds of hours spent playing. Will Chris Christodoulou be working on the music this game as well?
A: Yes, he will be back!
Q: Have you considered calling the second Risk of Rain "Risk of Twain"?
A: Not until now
Q: This is kind of a question and a half. How big will the RoR2 maps be and will all the RoR1 maps return in 3D with the additions of new maps or just overall new maps?
A: Overall we’re not really looking at the previous maps for the inspiration for our new ones – we’re not making RoR 3D, but a sequel, so we don’t really want to recreate too much old stuff!
Q: Since RoR2 is moving to more dynamic network model, how will people with screwy NATs be affected? NAT Punchthrough is great and all, but if implemented incorrectly can lead to multiple users on the same NAT being unable to join servers outside of the NAT (See Rainbow Six Siege). Will users still be able to host dedicated servers like the old game? What does this mean for users buying the game through GOG/Humble Bundle? Really hope everything goes swimmingly because port forwarding sucks.
A: This is the exact reason that we will have to have some form of limited beta, because this is something that we can’t recreate in office. I honestly don’t know enough to respond accurately on what would happen in that particular situation, but thanks for the heads up
Q: Relative to the first one, will Risk of Rain 2 be a sequel, prequel, completely unrelated, or even have story at all?
A: Sequel!
Q: How were you going to implement artifacts this time around? Is it going to be based around areas that are randomly generated and you sometimes have access, or multiple spawn locations, etc.
A: Dunno, we haven’t implemented really any form of map permutations yet. The artifacts also ended up taking a much more important role in the game than we initially expected – not sure if the old way of unlocking is strange if it’s to be a core feature.
Q: (Big fan) I just had some curious questions; How many characters do you intend there to be in RoR2?, How differently do you plan on changing the previous characters?, Any hints on the final boss? pls, What is the estimated price of the game? and will their be any chance of PvP? Cannot wait, super hyped and keep up the great work :D
A: We’re aiming for 10 characters on launch. No spoilers or hints! Definitely not PvP in any official capacity since the networking structure wasn’t designed for a good PvP experience.
Q: I've got three questions : 1) Will it be called RoR2 or will you find / have you found something else ? 2) Why the hell is there one more 'o' in the tumblr URL than in the actual 'Hopoo' name ? 3) What's the average of the team's favorite meals ? thx xoxo <3
A: I think it’ll just be RoR2. The hopoo tumblr was taken on creation of this tumblr, so we had to make it hopooo instead ☹
Q: Will RoR2 reveal why the Contact Light was carrying a teleporter linked to a planet crammed with hostile lifeforms?
A: I’d like to explore what the heck is up with the humans in this game, but I sorta wish I had a better avenue that’s not just item logs and monster logs.
Q: I'm going to ask the real questions, is Sniper a man or woman? This is important because reasons.
A:
Q: Theres something that confuses me alot about risk of rain 2. It's the lore. If the characters have left the planet, why would they come back?
A: Canonically, the returning characters were never on the Contact Light to begin with (and presumably there could totally be like, a bunch of engineers and commando suits.)
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It's hilarious sometimes how games deal with monster pcs or higher than needed cards etc. My laptop is only 4 months old and the newest possible model (custom made and all that, nothing out of date by even half a year, cost me at least 4 ribs but it's my only hobby and I use my pc for work so whatever I'll earn it back in a year and half) . Funny thing is though, my (heavily modded) fallout 4 game is running horribly no matter what I do. While cyberpunk for example doesn't even heat up the cores past 60 degrees. I think Bethesda might be to blame for any pc shenanigans as well tbh.
Tbh though?? Like i looked it up after this. im obviously on an adventure tonight with this lmfao. But my graphics card is - actually let me quote - “The GeForce 9600 GT was a mid-range graphics card by NVIDIA, launched in February 2008.“ ITS A FUCKIN MIDRANGE ONE FROM 2008 JHSDFHJHJGFDS like my PC was super beefy but its like a decade old, and this graphics card is “new” as in the one that had been here for like a decade got royally fucked and an old different one was put in...... like hello. what the fuck
But honestly................ hjgfdhjgfdhjggfdHJFSDHJHJG THAT IS FUNNY AS SHIT LIKE DAMN IT SUCKS - although. no wait. yeah. i remember i stopped playing skyrim bc itd constantly crash i.......... i think youre dead right with the bethesda being to blame for Shenanigans bit LMFAOOOOO you can play cyberpunk. but we draw the line at.............................................. fallout 4...........................................................
#AN ASK#UGH so funny i cant even be mad#traitor's ramblings#PCs are fuckin great tho like d a m n theyre expensive but#they are babies. babies are expensive.#Anonymous
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02152020
I think I have achieved the workstation setup that really caters to my specific ‘workflow’.
I did have previous decent setups but I think what makes my current one stand out is that I went past not just considering how an actual peripheral will be used but instead to consider it part of my entire workflow. Like the keyboard, for example. Plenty of times before, I would pick a keyboard solely because I thought it would really feel good when I played my online games, and also when typing blog entries, etc. I never gave much thought about how it would fit the rest of the other accessories -- say, the mouse.
This time around, I tried to come up with a setup that would work well as a unit, and, at the same time, has parts that are in itself high-performing. Working from home has presented this need since I try not to mix work with pleasure. That just basically means I don’t use the work laptop for browsing personal stuff, and my personal desktop for work and development tasks as well. (I wasn’t always like this, of course. Back in the office, there was no choice but to use your office laptop for browsing. Haha!)
I was also kind of getting tired with the gaming look of the setup that I had for quite sometime. I thought I’d go for a look more aimed at productivity -- a little more professional, if I may say so. Add that to the fact that I try to always think of ways in which I could save time and space in my daily life. Among the things that had been at the back of my mind bugging me were my current desk devices and layout. The things that I had on my desk -- the gaming mouse and keyboard -- just took up too much space.
So my step 1 was to get rid of the gaming peripherals. I sold my Logitech G512 keyboard, the Razer Ergonomic Wrist Rest, and the Razer Mamba mouse. My colleague got the mechanical keyboard and wrist rest at a bargain, and a buyer from Carousell bought the mouse for a steal price also.
I went back to the Magic Keyboard that came with the iMac... but I could not make myself go back to the Magic Mouse simply because I just hated that thing. I never got the idea behind that device. It’s not ergonomic, which was toally un-Apple-like.
When I had my MacBook (before I had this desktop), I was curious what the fuzz was about this Magic Mouse so I decided to try and buy one. I thought it might make using Photoshop or Lightroom easier, etc. I was so wrong. In no fucking way did it make any of my computer use more convenient. I sold it two days later. Hahahaha! The only reason why I still have a Magic Mouse now is that it came with the iMac. I didn’t want to add for a Magic Trackpad back then since I didn’t think I wanted it -- and I still had my Razer Mamba mouse then.
This time I decided to go with the Magic Trackpad 2. I’ve seen Vuhlandes’ workstation on his vlogs and he has that same trackpad. Plus, I’ve always placed a premium on devices that offer both the options of using it wired and wireless.
When I started editing photos with the Magic Trackpad, however, the use of brushes was a pain point I encountered. Using the trackpad in performing any click-and-drag task proved to be very unintuitive and, frankly, just difficult. Any click-drag activity would require you to exert more effort, not to mention that it grants you less control than if you were using a mouse. So I looked around the internet on what tools other photographers use.
The main solution that I came up with was to use a graphic tablet. To that end, one of my brothers lent me his Wacom Bamboo Pen & Touch when I told them about the possibility of getting myself a Wacom. I tried using it immediately once he let me borrow it, and I was totally blown away. It presented too great of an ease in my photo-editing workflow, instantly turning it into a quick hassle-free moment. For the short period that I used it in Capture One, the focus was on the things I wanted to do to get the output that I wanted and less on the ‘how’ would I do those same things. The next day, when I told my brother I was sold on the idea getting myself a graphics tablet, he told me that I can have his Wacom Bamboo. Wow!
While the graphic tablet covered the difficulty encountered with photo-editing softwares’ brushes and sliders, it occupied considerable table real estate next to a keyboard. A full-time mouse is also not its primary use case (I’m guessing, of course) so for me -- a stickler to a-place-for-everything-and-every-thing-in-its-place mantra, it was not an ideal solution for casual use. There were still normal, everyday click-and-drag scenarios (e.g. moving folder items to a different window on a big display, etc.) that doesn’t exactly present the need to bring out a pen & touch tablet full-time. Those would still require a mouse.
My search for a mouse was for a couple of reasons, with one being the reason I explained above. One of the other reasons was that I wanted a heftier and a more reliable mouse to use with my day job: software development work.
The Logitech M720, the mouse that I had been using for my office-issued laptop, was becoming a little light for my taste. At the same time it was also unraveling now that I do mostly hardcore development work solely on a laptop display, without an extended monitor. It’s selection and click-drag accuracy (or lack of it) has become more pronounced with the smaller screen space. Using it in the office before where there was a monitor offset this nuisance by forcing me to just aim more precisely and click more deliberately at the target. Here, right now, there is just no way to mitigate that. It was the M720′s time to go. My Wacom-tablet donor of a brother happened to also want a mouse for his MacBook Pro so I just handed him this one.
The Logitech MX Master 3 was just the perfect choice for my mouse. It still has the multi-device capability that the M720 had -- which I had never used (I just knew it had that because of the additional buttons) --- but it was also bigger and heavier. It was also more reliable -- a conclusion I gathered from watching some couple dozen of YouTube videos and fiddling through Google’s search results of “best mouse for Mac”. So I did my usual online window-shopping for a week or so. Units of the mouse weren’t really easy to come by locally and prices were also really all over the place so I decided to go for the ones in the middle price range, eventually settling on a Facebook page that sells electronic components for robotics, and stuff. They happened to have an MX Master 3 in their inventory posted, which I found quite weird since they were selling mostly electrical circuit boards for Raspberry Pi and whatnot. I messaged them one evening and told them that I’ll order the next day and have it picked up once they confirm the order and payment.
When I finally got to use my own Logitech MX Master 3, it did not disappoint. It wasn’t over the top. I mean, you could consider the modern look to be (it really isn’t). But the performance? It didn’t hit you with a wow. It just flat out, simply delivered. It did what I wanted it to do. The setup was easy, the moving between my work laptop and my personal desktop was seamless. These days, I’m even playing Starcraft: Remastered with it. It was like a perfect marriage of all the features that I wanted in a mouse: the wired/wireless option, the multi-device support, modern design, right amount of heft, the softness of the click, the sleek charging cable, etc. It was just the right work mouse.
Now, let’s go to the keyboard.
Apple’s Magic Keyboard is no doubt an impressive piece of equipment and is very fun to use. However, using it for a long period of time will really suck since there is nothing really ergonomic about it. It’s too low and flat (both its frame and keys) that when you’re trying to type fast you would find that you are actually banging on the keys. That’s not good. I am also a deep lover of the number pad. This is also one of the reasons why I’ve always felt the need to get an external keyboard when using a laptop: I feel that a work setup is incomplete without a numpad. What I wanted now was a keyboard with a numpad that still has the compactness somehow of Apple’s keyboard. But as I was looking around what to get, I would still try and look for models that have my nice-to-have features: wired/wireless options and mechanical.
This is where I first began taking a serious look at the Keychron brand. Their Keychron K4 V2 wireless mechanical keyboard checks all those boxes that I’ve laid out. It’s a 100-key mechanical keyboard that can be used wired or wireless, and is compact. It also has the multi-device feature, which completely had me sold on it since I was just getting the hang of this particular feature on the MX Master 3 mouse. Just thinking of a one-keyboard-one-mouse setup for both my office laptop and iMac, I was already giddy with the space I’ve saved on my desk. And so in a way, when I had read up on all of the K4 V2′s features while waiting for my turn with the dentist, it was a no-brainer. When I got home that night, I ordered the keyboard online along with the Keychron wooden palm rest.
One thing that I also loved about the Keychron K4 was that its visual elements are very minimal. It doesn’t have a huge frame, and the design is pretty straightforward. It’s minimal and it’s also nostalgic. Its boxy keys takes me back to the times when I was playing alone as a make-believe hacker with the mechanical keyboard (all keyboards were mechanical back in the day) from our old computer. The K4 also has RGB lighting but it does grant you options to change the colors and lighting effects, or even turn it off completely (which I did with mine).
So now, I have a multi-device combo of an awesome mouse and an equally awesome compact keyboard for use for work and for pleasure, a trackpad for smooth scrolling and also serves as a backup cursor, and a graphic pen & tablet which I pull out from the side for a more precise and efficient creative workflow. I know, I know -- it’s really very specific to me. But so far, it works.
This entry took quite a while to finish. I started this one on the 15th, and it’s now sometime past midnight of the 20th.
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