#like i'm not the one recommending it she is
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corporate retreat part 1 / 4
I went into a fugue state and wrote nine thousand words about an overworked corporate drone being brainwashed for their own good.
tw: brainwashing, conditioning, dehumanization, drugging, humiliation, hypnosis, restraints, corporate culture, weight insecurity mentioned, a little kinky
"Welcome to the Brainwashing Department! You must be today's test subject. We're happy to have you!"
Quinn stared in disbelief at the receptionist's guileless and strangely familiar smile. "You're awfully cheerful about this, aren't you?"
"Well, I love my job," he said without the slightest trace of malevolence. "As I'm sure you know, the Brainwashing Department is critically important to the organization. Without us, we wouldn't have sleeper agents, puppet politicians, memory erasure... and it's interesting work, too. No two subjects are the same." He glanced at Quinn's badge and then at their face. "Say, I recognize you. You're from IT, aren't you? You're the one who always unlocks my laptop when I forget my password!"
Oh, shit, that's where they remembered this guy. Quinn wasn't sure what they found more mortifying: the fact that they'd been recognized, or the idea of letting a guy who obviously didn't know how to work a laptop be in charge of human minds. Maybe he'd been a test subject, and it affected his brain... although considering what Quinn had signed up for, that wasn't at all comforting.
"Yeah, I'm from IT," said Quinn. "Can we get started? I'd prefer to get this over with."
The receptionist laughed. "You seem like you could use a vacation. Good thing you're here. No better vacation than a vacation from your thoughts, right?" He pushed a button on his phone. "Dr. Moon, your test subject has arrived."
Quinn played with their phone and tried not to look like an anxious wreck as they waited for the doctor. This was such an awful idea, but they didn't have much of a choice.
---
"You used to be my favorite minion. I hate to see your potential go down the drain, and I'd really, really hate to have to put you on a performance improvement plan," their boss had said. "You know, just because we're in the business of underground supervillainy doesn't mean we don't value our employees' mental health. You should take a vacation, recharge yourself."
"I'm out of PTO," said Quinn.
Their boss leaned over her desk with a frightening look in her eye. "Have you happened to see the fliers the Brainwashing Department has been posting?"
Oh, they didn't like where this was headed. "The ones looking for compliant test subjects? The ones promising a $5000 bonus and a month of PTO?"
"Exactly! Doesn't that solve your problem?"
"The month of PTO is just the month you spend as their brainwashed test subject."
"Details," she said with a handwave. "You get PTO and a chance to relax --"
"-- by being drugged and hypnotized out of my skull --"
"--and you'll come back refreshed and ready to work."
"Presumably because you'll get them to brainwash me to be a better employee."
"See, everyone wins!" she said. "I highly recommend that you volunteer."
And that was that. Quinn certainly didn't have the clout to argue, especially when they were at risk of being at the bottom of the stack ranking. You didn't want to get stack ranked in this organization. It usually involved poison in your cafeteria rations.
---
"Quinn? You're a volunteer for brainwashing testing, right?"
Quinn looked up to see a middle-aged woman wearing the aquamarine jumpsuit of the higher-status employees, along with a lab coat and a pair of enormous round glasses. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail and she had a strangely warm smile given her profession.
"I'm Quinn, and yeah."
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Dr. Moon," she said, holding out her hand for a shake, and her hands felt warm as well. "Thank you for volunteering. It's critically important that we have adequate testing subjects for refining our process, before we have to use the techniques on important targets. So many employees are frightened of our department, even though our work is really quite pleasant. You don't have anything to worry about, though. I promise that your mind is good hands here."
"Good to know," they said. "Hopefully I can give you some good data." It really wasn't the competency of the Brainwashing Department that worried them -- they'd seen their results firsthand. If anything, they were perhaps a little too competent.
"I'm sure your data will be invaluable. Now, if you could follow me..." She turned and swiped her keycard at the double doors next to the reception desk, ushering Quinn inside.
They stood in a short, sterile, and blindingly white hallway with several doors on each side and another large set of double glass doors at the end. "Those doors lead to the primary brainwashing floor," Dr. Moon said, gesturing to the end of the hallway. "But first, I'm going to have you go into one of our prep rooms."
She slid her keycard on one of the side doors, which opened up to a small room with some lockers, a shower, and a bench. "Put your uniform and any personal effects -- except your glasses and anything medically necessary -- in the locker. Then, take a shower using the provided soap and dress in the clothes you find in the locker. Make sure you clip your identification tag to the gown, so we don't lose you."
"Wouldn't want that to happen."
"When you're done, just press the button and I'll be back to guide you to the next phase," she said. "Take your time. We're in no hurry."
Quinn shut the door behind them. They stripped off their sneakers, a pair of socks adorned with little green alien heads, and the gray jumpsuit that marked their middling status in the organization. The hot water felt great as they stepped into the shower, and the soap was pleasantly scented with lavender. It would've been relaxing if the shower hadn't given them a chance to be alone with their own thoughts.
Were they really going through with this? They could've told their boss no, but that would've just ended badly. The terms of the test subject agreement guaranteed that the process would be reversed at the end, but it wasn't like they trusted that. They knew what the Brainwashing Department was capable of. They could wipe any memories they didn't want them to have, they could implant suggestions of being more loyal and eager to work, they could humiliate them in so many ways, they could simply leave them brainwashed permanently...
Quinn sighed. This was absolutely going to suck, but there was no use worrying. It wasn't like they were going to turn back now.
The provided outfit was a soft blue cotton hospital gown and padded socks. They were quite comfortable, but made Quinn feel entirely too exposed and vulnerable without their familiar jumpsuit. The badge they clipped to the gown had their name, picture, subject number, and a series of codes designating the brainwashing procedures they were going to undergo. Quinn didn't know enough about the department's work to know what the codes meant.
They pressed the button.
A few minutes later, Dr. Moon entered the room. "I hope you had a nice shower. Let's get you into the other room to do a few necessary checks."
The next room was a bit like a doctor's office. "I'll need you to stand on that scale, please," said Quinn.
"Is that really necessary?" They fucking hated this part of the doctor's visit.
"It's not for judgement or shaming, really! We just need accurate weight to make sure the medication dosage is correct. It's for your own safety. You don't even need to look."
Somehow, even the idea of being weighed for brainwashing drugs was preferable to being shamed again. They didn't look as they stood on the scale, and Dr. Moon made no comment.
"Now, if you'll sit on the table for a minute, please," she said. "Let me just check your breathing... your eyes and ears..."
Quinn sat as still as they could as Dr. Moon pressed a stethoscope to their chest and shined a light in their eyes, but they couldn't keep their knee from bouncing.
"Any vision or hearing problems, other than your need for glasses?"
"No."
"Any disabilities we should be aware of? Here in the Brainwashing Department, we pride ourselves on our commitment to diversity. We'll adjust our procedures to accommodate any disability, mental or physical, to ensure that everyone can safely and easily fall under our control."
"Uh. Not that I know of." Quinn most certainly was not going to spill their mental health difficulties to this woman. She'd probably have access to all of Quinn's secrets soon enough... ugh, they'd rather not think about that.
"All right, then. If you're ready, I can lead you to the brainwashing floor and we can get started on your procedure."
"I'm not sure I can be any more ready than I am right now, so..."
"I know it must seem nerve-wracking, but trust me, once we get started you won't be worried at all."
"That doesn't especially ease my worries."
They followed Dr. Moon through the double doors and into the main brainwashing floor. Here, thirty of the organization's brainwashing devices were arranged in neat rows, big plush reclining chairs with restraints and screens and medical tools. They were all currently occupied by people of all ages and types undergoing procedures. Most of the people were half-asleep and watching hypnotic screens, mouthing words under their breath, hooked up to gas tanks and IV lines containing the drug cocktails that made them docile and malleable. Some were being induced, surrounded by staff monitoring their vitals as they went under. Others had a staff member drilling commands into their minds. One woman at the back was thrashing and fighting as the department staff wrangled her into restraints and into a mask.
Quinn had long been desensitized to the brainwashing floor. After all, when you worked for an organization like this one, morals flew out the window with your first paycheck. The work they did was necessary to keep the organization going, and honestly less messy and more humane than some of the other departments. Quinn had had to come here plenty of times to help troubleshoot problems with the machines, and had swiftly learned to tune out the droning hypnotic inductions and sounds of quiet struggle.
But it certainly hit differently now that Quinn knew they were destined for one of the devices. They couldn't help but imagine themselves in a chair, watching a hypnotic screen with a dazed smile and glassy eyes. The idea made their skin crawl with the fear they'd been shoving aside until now. They hated the idea of not being in control, and especially the idea of other people seeing them helpless and vulnerable. But that fate was now inevitable. They weren't kidding themselves about their ability to resist. Dr. Moon would probably turn them into a drooling, tranced-out mess by lunchtime.
At least they'd get some good sleep for a change. Chemically-induced sleep with a side of mind warping, sure, but sleep nonetheless.
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Misogyny is so commonized in fandoms now a days and it's a big problem. A female can do something wrong and she'll be hated on, or called a pick me if she's outgoing or shy. Meanwhile, a man, who's committed several crimes, has done many wrong things, is seen as the innocent boy, he could do no wrong, he was just feeling silly.
Let me provide examples.
Danganronpa, Sayaka, a character from the first game/anime, is commonly hated for what she did. People often calling her a snake, a pick me, etc. Meanwhile, male characters who have done significantly worse things, Byakuya, Kokichi, Nagito are worshipped.
Hazbin Hotel, many people overlook the canon sapphic ship, for the not yet canon (yes I know husker dust will be canon later, I'm really excited to see their relationship progress) gay ships. Sexualizing a canon asexual character, shipping a lesbian character with a man, calling chaggie boring in comparisons to Husker dust, Radioapple or Vox and Alastor. As a lesbian, who is tired of all the Sapphic erasure, I can say wholeheartedly Chaggie is far from boring. I'm happy we got some representation that is not overly sexualized or watered down to just gal pals being gal pals.
Honkai Star Rail, I'm comparing 2 characters who have done something wrong for this. Sparkle, the mask that is controlling the body of a girl, once said racist remarks to Adventurine, causing people to hate on her. Meanwhile the girl, the body, the puppet, had no control, what the mask did was wrong, yes. But here's where the problem comes in. Dr Ratio, a male, who is loved by the fandom, also said racist things to Adventurine. If you want proof I recommend looking it up on tik tok, I can't remember the creators name but they made an amazing slide show about it. What I'm saying is it's wild how they hate on a girl who has no control over herself, but worships the ground that a male walks on, who has control over what he does and chose to say racist things.
Other examples are hating a female villain, but worshipping the male one. Everyone is all for women's rights until it comes to media, you're allowed to like characters but don't do incoherently sexist things like bringing the men up and bringing the women down for the simplest of things.
That is all thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
#misogyny in fandoms#misogny#honkai star rail#danganronpa#hazbin hotel#chaggie#radioapple#radiodust#huskerdust#make it make sense#women and men are equal#stereotypes#ranting#asexual#lesbian#wlw
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13 books tag game, tagged by @amemoryofwot
1) Last book I read:
Starter Villain by John Scalzi, in an effort to 1) get back on my Hugo nominee completionist bullshit and 2) give him a second go, since I was deeply unimpressed by the first one a few years ago. It was...you know the thing about how badly-written books can help you learn more about writing than well-written ones? That!
2) A book I recommend:
I am metaphorically grabbing everybody I know by the collar and telling them to read Some Desperate Glory, unless the subject matter isn't for them which is fair, but it's so good.
3) A book that I couldn’t put down:
I distinctly remember finishing Gideon the Ninth at like 11pm because I couldn't wait until morning, which must be seen in the context of me being asleep by 10pm every night of my life I get a choice in the matter.
4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)
I went through a solid decade of reading Hogfather every Christmas and I've probably got a few more left in me.
5) A book on my TBR
I've got Mary Beard's latest book, Emperor of Rome, on reserve at the library.
6) A book I’ve put down
Tried The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart last year because it was blurbed well and I was in a fantasy mood, and got like...twenty pages in. It didn't leave enough of an impression for me to remember exactly why, just a general 'I don't care about these characters' vibe.
7) A book on my wish list
Kate Elliott is being very kind about progress updates in her newsletter and I want her to have the time she needs...but I am also chewing at the bit for Lady Chaos.
8) A favourite book from childhood
I was SO into Redwall as a kid. First fanfic I ever wrote.
9) A book you would give a friend
This is hard because I always want to rec specific books to specific people, I sincerely believe there's no generic book which is good for everybody. Um, maybe All Systems Red since Murderbot seems to resonate with a wide audience?
10) The most books you own by a single author
(Physical books only) An ACTUAL single author? Anne McCaffrey for sure. An alleged single author? I own 36 Trixie Belden Mysteries books.
11) A nonfiction book you own
Storm over Mono, which is a really interesting account of the fight to save Lake Mono in California, a scientifically interesting and historically and ecologically unique place.
12) what are you currently reading
Technically between books but I'm about to start The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles by Malka Older. I liked the first one fine but it didn't grab me grab me, so we'll see how it goes.
13) what are you planning on reading next?
My mostly-science book club is going retro and reading Surely You're Joking, Mr Feynman which I have been putting off because I have Heard Things about Richard Feynman...but also I gotta gird my loins and get onto it.
I have not been around Tumblr enough lately to think of who to tag but with 100% sincerity, if you see this and it starts the wheels turning in your head about books you've read lately and so on, you're it!
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I Hate My Coworker (Chapter 3)
Pairing: Modern Au! Barista! Kit Thantalos x Barista! Reader
Warnings: Swearing, Tension
Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2 , Chapter 4
Song Recommendation: Hatred (A Duet) - Kinks
You were absolutely mad at yourself.
Not because you have just made it with that Thantalos girl but you also liked it.
And now you cant stop thinking about it.
"I wanted a bagel with cheese, this one doesn't have any ın it. " annoyed customer complained.
"Sorry. I'll get you a cheese bagel." You took the tray from the customer with a tight lipped smile. You took the bagel and put it into the microwave.
It has been five minutes since you both leave the toilet.
"Where is the toilet?" The same woman asked.
Toilet. Where you and Kit did it. You did it with someone for the first time and it was with Kit and it was in a f*cking toi-
"It's upstairs. It will be on your left. " Kit explained.
"Your friend is really a ditz." She had a mocking smile.
"Hey! You can't talk to her like that! " She said furiously. The woman ignored her comment as she went upstairs. You felt Kit breathing through her nostrils as you came into the real world.
"Don't do that. " You still felt mortified.
"Do what? " She raised her brows.
"Talk back for me."
Kit's face furrowed as she grasp your words.
She looked like a kicked puppy and you regretted what you have just said.
Joseph came downstairs with lots of dishes to be washed.
"Here you go, ladies." He sighed then looked at you both with a raised brow.
"What's this? "
"What? " Kit raised her head.
"It's like you argued again but you don't want to tear each other's throats this time."
You rolled your eyes with a chuckle.
He waited for you to say something but when he couldn't get anything from both of you he said "Well, I'll get to work then. " He said as he left.
Kit was thinking of something as she placed the dishes in front of the sink. You both started to do the dishes as there were no new customers in the shop.
"I'm sorry I talked back for you."
"It's okay. I might have overreacted."
She chuckled.
You looked at her. "What? "
"What were you thinking about when you zoned out and before? "
You blushed at her question. "Nothing."
"Nothing my *ss." She leaned into your ear and whispered. "I've just f*cked you stupid, didn't I? " She said cockily.
You looked around to make sure no one is looking and then you kicked her right boob with your elbow and she backed away with pain. She almost dropped the plate in her hands. She had good reflexes. You saw her almost dropping things only to catch it again. She even catched a mug you almost have dropped.
You giggled hard as you cleaned the mug in your hands.
You saw her clenching her jaw.
You bit your lip and tried not to laugh to not get attention from customers.
"What the fuck, Y/N!" Kit asked angrily.
"You kinda deserved it... with your comment I've never asked for. " You snapped back.
"This is harassment you know. I can report it. "
"Oh yeah, what about the emotional harassment I am dealing for a month. "
She looked at you like you said the world is flat. "You are the one who started it. "
You sighed. She was right.
You turned to her. You wanted to tell her you hated her mother and her company for taking away your favorite place in the world, your memories of your parents which is slowly fading away. You wrote them in detail of course. Every memory in detail in your journal. You kept the photos of you three too but it never compared to being there. Exactly where your parents are.
It wasn't her fault. She probably even didn't know about the parks but you couldn't help but thought of those things when you looked at her.
You didn't know what to tell her.
"I just... I don't like your mom. " You managed to say it and then the door opened and a new customer approached towards your direction.
Kit's mouth dropped in confusion.
You took the order of the customer and started working on their order.
You felt her eyes on you the whole time.
~~~
The day finally ended so right now Kit and you were both free. Joseph let you go earlier. He wanted to stay for some arrangements.
You never spoke after your confession about Kit's mom.
You grabbed your backpack as you left the shop but you felt someone pulling you to the left. You grabbed you pepper spray to temporarily blind whoever that is.
The person grabbed your wrist and twist it to the side before you can use the spray.
It was Kit.
Your mouth hanged open.
Her smile met her eyes. "You gotta be faster than that."
You freed you wrist from her hands with an annoyed look. You put the spray back into your pocket and crossed your arms.
"What is your problem? "
Kit looked at the floor than to you before changing her posture and making herself taller than you.
She cleared her throat. "I have a question. "
"Go on." You were confused.
"You mentioned you don't like my mum. Why?"
Your hurt was visible on your face.
"It's a long story. "
"I have time. "
"It's getting late. "
"Y/N...Please."
You rolled your eyes.
"Fine but I can't be late to home. My grandma would go nuts. So either you come with me or you'll have to wait."
Kit's face lightened up.
"Okay... but will your grandma be okay with me being at your house? "
"Don't worry about that. "
You knew she would be delighted.
@lmaoo-spiderman
#ruby cruz#hazel callahan#hazel callahan x reader#bottoms movie#bottoms 2023#sapphic#bottoms hazel#lgbtq#wlw#kit thantalos x reader#kit tanthalos#hazel bottoms#ruby cruz bottoms#ruby cruz willow#ruby cruz x reader#sapphic fanfic#wlw fanfic#lgbtq fanfiction#queer fanfiction
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Squid's Trigun Fanfic Recs
Hey, so I'm done with self promos so its time appreciate a bunch of you guys in line with @trigunfanfic appreciation week! A lot of this is gonna be straight up vashmeryl, heads up. Although we all know what I'm about, so I guess have fun! :3
Gonna start with one of my best friends and also my beta, @eomma-jpeg. You may know her from her millynai epic, In the Meadow. But right now she's working on a vashmeryl college au fic called What a Shame! By far one of my favorite writers!
She also wrote a companion millywood oneshot for Sea Foam as well called Refuge from the Storm that I want to get printed for myself.
@scoundrels-in-love is another prolific writer I usually look forward to! Man, they sort of write a little bit of everything in regards to ship and canon. I mostly know them for mashwood, but my all time favorite fics of theirs is If this is communication, I disconnect. its everything I could ever want from a post max vashmeryl fic. Absolute gold!!
Okay, here's the thing. I am a slut for vashmeryl, but @ladymaliwan's writing is so good to convince me to branch out. Their stryfewood fics are to die for and imaginative and thank you for sharing so much of your snippets with me!!! They mean the world to meee ;3;
Next up is @eezybree's Bluebells. Man, ngl, Sav you give me a lot of writer's envy with this fic. AHHHH it's so fucking goooooood. I know I'm a chapter or two behind but man they get emotions across so well and that fluff is to die for. Comletely wonderful post max vashmeryl
Another one I am woefully behind on. But I remember way back last year when @faindri was still doing a lot of the concept art for EBS. I'm not usually one for aus but who can resist a space opera? And the amount of detail and worldbuilding in this fic is astonishing and actually super inspiring!
Okay I feel like @wandererriha's Get Help series is criminally underrated. Again, usually not a fan of aus, but this modern au is charming as all hell and I find myself coming back to it whenever I feel down.
Also shoutout to the folks who I have no idea have a tumblr account or not or just plain too scared to say hi too but also highly recommend Birds do it, bees do it, plants can do it by RambleFox, Condensed Trigun by SugarPill, Horticulture Blues by dweeblet, The End by ginger_mosaic, Reporter's Notes by @museqmeg, No Reason by @eilwen, this is our body (come out of the bath) by @spacebeyonce, and Arcaronar by JackelJamboree. All of these are on AO3!
Also on ff.net, I recommend looking at Their Life by cmr2014. It's a super short post 98 vashmeryl oneshot that makes me super giggly when I read it!
My FINAL rec is After the Fall by Girl.Interpreted, also on ff.net. If any of you have known me for a while, you'll know that this fic has some sentimental value to me personally. To start, its an unfinished post 98 vashmeryl fic with a healthy does of adventure and A LOT of trimax references. Way baaaack about a decade ago, I had just trimax for the first time after rediscovery of trigun, which was first introduced to me as a kid by my weird, weird dad. And man was I craving more trigun. So I went on ff.net for the first time ever at like one in the morning and this was the fic that got me into fanfcition just as concept and a hobby. I wouldn't be writing fic until early college, but man this story STUCK with me in ways I couldn't begin to imagine. But the writing and the story and just everything... AHHHHHHHH Anyways go read After the Fall!!!! I doubt it will ever be finished, but I can dream
But literally, GO READ ALL OF THESE FICS! GO ENJOY THEM!!!!!!! IM BEGGING YOU!!!
Happy Trigun Fanfic Appreciation Week!!!!
#trigun#trigun fanfiction#trigun fanfic#trimax#tristamp#vashmeryl#millynai#stryfewood#trigunfanficappreciation
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Ｋｎｅｅ Ｓｏｃｋｓ ＫＮＪ
Pairing - Tutor! Dark! Kim Namjoon x AFAB! Reader
Synopsis-Based off Parasite, your korean teacher leaves to go on a work study trip, and leaves you with his best friend to be a replacement teacher. Part 2 of the movies series.
Featuring - Brandon Perea (Angel From Nope)
Word Count - Around 3k
Tags and Warnings - age-gap, manipulation, murder, fingering, tutor/student relationship
Authors Note - As you can probably tell, the stories are majority very loosely based on the stories with me throwing my own twists into it all. Also Joon is a conglomerate of all the Parks (the poor family) into one character! Enjoy:3
A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality. This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!
“So you want me to basically be your substitute?”
Namjoon eyed his friend as he ate from the bowl of ramen in front of him. One of his old high school friends, Brandon, stopped by his apartment out of the blue. And of course, Namjoon was embarrassed, the place looked like a dump.
Which is exactly what it was.
A dump.
“Yeah, listen I know you're smart. And I know you need the pay.” Brandon said taking a bite out of his ramen. He used his chopstick to point at Namjoon. “Also I trust you man.”
Namjoon groaned out leaning back into his couch. “Trust me? With what? Don't tell me you got roped into something fucked up.”Namjoon complained. Brandon had that look in his eyes, Namjoon could tell when he was being shifty.
“So maybe I've kind of got something going with the girl, she's sweet, super sheltered, like the perfect girl,” Brandon says leaning back long with Namjoon. “I plan on asking her out when I'm back okay? I just need you to be so you man. All scholarly and shit.”
Namjoon thought about it for a minute. “How's the pay?”
“Around 500 a session. Trust me her family has the money to blow. They want the best and they trust me to have good recommendations. Also, the mom is a bit of an airhead anyway.”
“Fine, you're lucky I need to make rent.”
📖
You sat in your room bored out of your mind. Your mother told you that Brandon had found someone to continue your studies while he was away. You knew your mom was probably annoying the poor man downstairs. She had a habit of talking too much.
Curiosity got the better of you as you found yourself heading downstairs to your lavish mansion kitchen. You sat on the stairs, peering through the railing.
Your new tutor was handsome, slightly built with a buzz cut. He reminded you of men you see in movies, rich CEOs who would fall for their secretaries. Or even a dangerous boxer who has a soft spot for the ballerina.
Lost in your trance, your mom spotted you. “Oh! Sweetheart come down, Mr. Kim here would like to meet you.” You curse under your breath as you stand up and walk the rest of the way downstairs. Almost tripping as your socks slipped on the hardwood floor. You catch yourself walking over to the side of the island.
Mr. Kim looked at you for a moment before smiling. “Please call me Namjoon, Mr. Kim makes me sound old.” He said extending a hand. You take it and give him a slightly firm handshake.
“She'll call you Mr.Kim, respect always remember sweetheart?” Your mom cooed passing you a bowl of pomegranate seeds. You nod towards her as she smiles. “Okay now go study, Mr. Kim is a very smart man by the sound of it. If you need anything call me upstairs.”
You were already walking upstairs with Namjoon following close behind. You led him into your bedroom and sat down at your desk. You pull out the notebook that you and Brandon used. “Sorry if my mom was annoying you, she's ditzy like that.” You mumbled going to the practice test you were doing before Brandon left last session.
Snap!
You jump at Namjoons snapping right in front of your face. “I want you to focus. From what you're mother is telling me she wants you to pass with Korean as a foreign Language for college next semester correct?” You nod at Namjoon. You focus back in on the practice test.
It was a particular problem you stared at, and it was something you couldn't figure out. You were about to circle A but you were stopped by Namjoon grabbing your wrist. “Are you certain that's the answer?” He asks leaning next to you. You shake your head, no, your breathing rising in speed as his hand holds your own in place. “Then why are you answering it?”
“Because it's the next question?” You say your voice peeking as you finish the statement. It comes out like a question and more so it comes out as you being rude to him. You shake your head looking up at him. “Sorry… I mean… it's true I just didn't want you to take it as me being rude to you.”
“Focus.” He reprimands. “Look at the question and think again.” Namjoon let's go of your wrist and you reconsider the answer. It's D. The answer is D. You circle it and look back at Namjoon expecting a response. You're welcomed with a warm smile. “Very good.”
His hand digs into the bowl of pomegranate seeds and he pops one into your mouth. You blush as you feel the tips of his fingers touch your lips and the action in general. Not even Brandon did something that bold. “T-Thank you Namjoon.”
He gives you a warm smile, showing his dimples, something you just caught. “Good, now continue answering the rest of the questions, you don't want to do bad you're first day with me do you?”
📖
Once Namjoon got his pay and started his trek home he realized something. Brandon was right, you pretty much were the perfect girl. Just from one lesson, he realized he enjoyed teaching you something he's become so familiar with.
While he was lost in thought Brandon called him and Namjoon picked it up. “Hey, how was your first class?” Namjoon didn't want to tell him that he was secretly fond of the girl that Brandon liked and that he felt something for her as well so he chose to be as bland as possible.
“It was good. We just kind of reviewed what you guys already went over before.” Namjoon said crossing the street and walking into his apartment complex. He checked the mail seeing that he had nothing.
No one usually contacted him unless it was some bill.
“That's good, is she ok? I know I kind of left on short notice.” Brandon said into the phone. Namjoon hated that he felt indifferent towards Brandon's concerns. It wasn't really like him to see his friends whining about nothing in particular. “God I must've hurt her so bad.”
“I mean if she's hurt she didn't say anything about it, I mean I guess she was nervous,” Namjoon said entering his apartment. “I mean it's nothing bad for her to not be upset. Maybe she'll ask about you later?” God, he hated giving Brandon hope.
But Brandon took it as is. “Thanks, man, I really appreciate you doing this for me. Call you later.” And before Namjoon could even wish him goodbye the phone hung up in his face.
He let out a sigh before pouring a bowl of cereal. He wished you were there for him. You wouldn't have him eating this, you'd probably want him to eat better. Namjoon caught himself thinking in that way and he caught himself. He knew this would end badly. There is no other way it could go.
📖
Namjoon had taught you for about a month now, and you couldn't stop thinking about him. Even now as he sits next to you while you study what he taught you today, you couldn't help but fantasize about him.
You sat with your head down reading over the pages in your notebook. You poked your lip out, hoping he would notice you. It was fruitless of an attempt but you at least had to try.
“Namjoon, have you ever been in love?”
He looks up at you cocking a brow. “What does this have to do with Korean?” You look away at his question, keeping your eyes glued to the notebook. Namjoon takes his thumb and tilts your eyes to look into his own. “Look up here, Answer the question.”
Your eyes look away. “It was a dumb question, I shouldn't have asked it.”
“But you did. Why?”
You let out a sigh before responding. “Well, I was just wondering if you had, you don't have to answer it, I know it's off-topic.” You blabber on, Namjoon letting your head drop.
“Well, yeah of course. I'm 29, and I of course have had a few relationships. But they always just don't get it you know?” Namjoon rests his head in his hand, elbow resting on your desk. “They didn't want to change for the sake of our relationship. I guess I just have a bad taste in women huh?” He ended with a chuckle.
“Yeah, I mean what do you like in women…? I can probably be a good judge of character for you.” You add playing it off as being nice towards him. Maybe if he told you what he liked, you could change to fit his standards. Namjoon seemed to be a perfect man, and maybe you being almost 20 could be perfect in his eyes if you did.
He turned to look at you. “Well, I like my women of course pretty. Smart, shy, well… I mean that's too much already.” He said throwing his hand up to brush it off coyly. You put a hand on his thigh, looking into his eyes as to encourage him.
“Tell me, I want to know.”
“Well, I don't think it matters really. Unless you think that you're right for me.” Namjoon said leaning down to get closer to you. “Are you baby? Are you the right person for me?”
You nodded getting closer, your lips ghosting over his own. Namjoon does the final push, connecting your lips together. His hand goes to your hair, tangling his hand into it. His tongue brushed over your teeth, pushing into your mouth. You were messy, clunky, and unsure of what you were doing. As he pulled away, his chest rose and fell. “Do you think you love me?” He finally asks. “Is that why you asked me if I had ever been in love?”
“Mhmm, you're just so… amazing and wise… I've looked at you since you showed up in the kitchen…”
“Good, I think that you're amazing, and I want to see where this goes, I think you're the right person… the one I've been looking for,” Namjoon said before connecting your lips again.
📖
From that day on, every time you had a class with Namjoon, it was really spent cuddling and enjoying your time with the older man. Laying in bed, you two would usually talk about life, normally letting Namjoon talk and praise you. Maybe it was due to the fact you usually went along with whatever he wanted to do.
Like now.
You dug your nails into his arm, his hand dug into your panties, fingering you. He quieted your moans with his lips, you sitting in front of him, toes curling as they hang off your bed. “Joon…” You whine into his mouth, trying to be as quiet as possible. “It f-feels so good…”
His fingers curled, blunt nails hitting at your walls. “Yeah? Doesn't it feel good to be loved?” He said placing kisses down your neck, sucking a hickey to join new and faded ones. He usually couldn't keep his hands off of you, no matter what, usually liking for his hands to dig into your thighs, thumbs brushing over the top of your knee-high socks. But now he wanted to give you pleasure, something he called a gift since you two were together.
You nodded as you feel your cunt gush around his thick fingers. “Please let me cum… I need it, sir.” You moan quietly into his mouth. Namjoon only liked to be called sir when messing around. He told you that it made him feel empowered and that you being there made him feel so much better than usual. You saw nothing wrong with that of course, isn't that the role of a lover?
“Do it for me, baby, all over my fingers.” And you do, as soon as he says that, you throw your head back on his shoulder. You collapse onto him, Namjoon adjusting it to where you laid on him in bed. He stuck his fingers into his mouth, sucking off your juices. You couldn't help but blush. “You taste amazing, like always.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Are you still going to be able to make it to my party? I know my parents invited you and stuff.” You ask, hand playing with your boyfriend's cheek. Of course, coming from a rich family meant you'd have large parties for your birthday. It's not like you wanted them but, they also told you they invited your tutor who just so happened to be your boyfriend.
Namjoon swatted at your fingers, chuckling a bit. “Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. We just won't pretend to be a thing.” He says. You nod in agreement, knowing your parent's reaction would most likely ruin the party in general.
“Yeah… okay! We should have around 30 minutes left, and I really just want to nap.” You say closing your eyes and laying down your head. Namjoons hand stroked at your head soothing you to fall asleep.
📖
The day had come for your party, and Namjoon couldn't have been more excited. He put on a brand new suit, one he brought with the money he made from his newfound job. As he arrives at the home, he spots that people have already shown up and that it's an outside party at that. Namjoon walked towards the backyard patio, your father setting up a backdrop for pictures.
“Mr, Kim, just the man I wanted to see,” Your father behind raising up to hug the man. “I'm glad you made it, hey can you head inside to grab the champagne buckets? They should be in the cellar in the basement.”
Namjoon nodded. “Yes, of course, I'll be back.” Namjoon makes his way to the back door seeing a table of women who blew kisses at them. He smiled before going inside, taking his phone out to send you a quick text.
Namjoon: Just arrived! Ur dad is already putting me to work lol
Baby🤍: Oh goddd I'll get on him about it.
Baby🤍 Still getting ready though, so just work for him a bit until I finish. Luv uuuu!!!
Namjoon chuckled at your texts as he made his way into the kitchen.
“So when were you going to tell me you started fucking her?” Namjoon put his phone down to look up, seeing no one other than Brandon. He stood at the kitchen island leaning on it, a drink in hand.
“Oh, your back? I thought you'd be gone longer.” Namjoon commented before turning to head to the basement. He wasn't going to deal with Brandon and ruin his girlfriend's day.
That thought was before Brandon shoved Namjoon into a wall. Brandon held Namjoons shirt. “Don't play dumb with me, I went to see her. I was gonna gift her a letter and she said she already had a boyfriend. And I know the only dude she would see constantly was you. How could you? I asked you to do one thing and you couldn't even do that?!” Brandon said, getting in Namjoons face. He whinced, Brandon's forearm resting on Namjoons neck pushing down. There was no way he was going to die this way, not from Brandon's rage.
Namjoon pushed him off, then shoved him down the basement stairs. Namjoon stood there as he watched Brandon fall, head hitting the wood. He waited until the last thud, Namjoon slowly walking downstairs to see what he had just done. Once he reaches the bottom, Namjoon smiles, the sick sight of Brandon writhing on the ground groaning. A puddle of blood formed around him, the impact from hitting the concrete probably giving him a concussion.
The bottom of Namjoons shoes clicked as he made his way to the cellar. He took the metal branding tool used to mark the barrels. The sound of metal shrieked as he dragged it towards Brandon's beat-up corpse. “I'm sorry I have to do this, but you're in my way now. And we can't have that now can we?” Namjoon taunted raising the iron. Brandon's eyes opened slightly as he saw the iron come down on him.
Namjoon felt tears pour down his cheeks as he began to beat Brandon in.He coughed up blood, and Namjoon didn't stop beating Brandon until he was certain he was dead. Once he came to that conclusion he dropped the iron. "Why did you make me do that huh?!" Namjoon yelled at no one. "You ruin everything, god, im happy you're fucking gone."
Namjoon claimed himself wiping his eyes of tears. He got up and grabbed the champagne buckets. He looked back before heading out of the basement, locking the door. He lets out a sigh before leaving, not looking back. He had bigger plans now, and Brandon wasn't in them.
He couldn't be in them.
Namjoons eyes trailed over your form, stopping at your socks as you laughed with your family. Outside the patio, you see Namjoon carrying the ice buckets and wave him over. He smiles at you before signing and returning to his girlfriend who he plans to keep forever.
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Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]
🔞 Minors DNI 🔞
A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.
CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.
Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1
Chapter 11 - Trial and Error
You try something new, and Kid makes a big mistake.
WC: ~8k
Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth
You stared awkwardly at the wide range of brightly coloured vibrators and dildos on display in the store. You had no fucking clue what you were looking at or what you were supposed to pick out. Heat had somewhat temporarily abandoned you to peruse the porn selection, and you looked over your shoulder for him anxiously, wondering if you should just give up and go bug him for help.
“Doing okay darlin’?” an older woman with bright pink hair approached you. She had a nametag, indicating she worked here, but otherwise wore casual looking clothing. The smile on her face was gentle and soothing, you felt immediately more comfortable with her there.
“Yeah um.. I think I need some help,” you admitted, “I'm not really sure what I'm looking for”
“Of course baby,” the woman cooed, “we've got all the features written out under the price tags, do any of them sound interesting? I could show ya how they work on your hand if you'd like”
“I um… I can't read,” you told her anxiously, feeling defeated. A room full of dildos and porn, and this was what made you embarrassed. She didn't seem like the kind of woman who would taunt you about it though.
“Oh that's no problem sweetheart!” The woman said, “I'm happy to help. What sort of things do you like? Clitoral stimulation? Penetration? Nipple play?”
“She's still figuring things out,” Heat told the woman, appearing like a saviour beside you, a handful of porn mags in hand, “she only just got out of a bad situation recently so she's not had much opportunity to learn what she enjoys”
“You the boyfriend?” the woman asked curiously.
“Uh, just a friend helping her figure herself out,” Heat answered with a nervous laugh, “she likes clit stimulation, and she recently discovered she likes receiving oral, so I'm thinking one of those suction toys that simulate it might work good for her, but something for her to explore penetration on her own wouldn't go amiss either. Give your what you'd consider an exploration starter kit, money isn't a issue”
“Very good, I have just the toys!” she picked up a small, purple dildo, tapered at the end and with a very slight bulge to the top. The overall shape was smooth and elegant, wide enough to be pleasurable but slimmer than the average penis, something ideal for a virgin to experiment with. Of course, you had been penetrated before, but there was no need to worry this woman with the horrific details of your past sexual encounters. She held down the button on the end and it started to vibrate, and she held it gently against the back of your hand so you could feel it. Your eyes widened as the woman clicked the button a few more times, making the vibrations more intense, before handing it to you for you to explore the settings on your own. You had the sudden realisation that your vibrating abilities thanks to your devil fruit were maybe far more useful than you'd initially thought, but it wouldn't hurt to have something to replicate the ideal levels. You didn't want to accidentally overdo it and hurt yourself after all.
“This one is what I recommend for newbies,” she explained, “its cable rechargeable, waterproof, easy to clean, and has 15 different settings ranging from gentle vibrations to more intense pulsing. It's ideal for both clitoral stimulation and penetration”
You handed the toy back to the woman who turned it off and returned it to its display holder, before selecting another toy. “Now, in terms of suction toys, you can't beat this model. It has ten power settings, waterproof, cable rechargeable, near silent, and the slim profile makes it ideal for using in tandem with penetrative sex. Paired with a good lubricant it offers orgasms that will truly blow you away with very little effort on your part”
“She'll take both,” Heat answered for you.
“Very good, now I'm assuming she also requires cleaning supplies and lubricants?” The woman asked.
“Yeah, get her whatever you recommend,” Heat said, “and these too, please” he continued, holding out the magazines for the woman.
“Very good, I'll get everything collected and rung up for you at the counter, let me know if you need my help with anything else” the woman smiled, taking the mags from Heat and collecting several boxes from the shelves under the displays, before walking away to collect a few other things. She met you at the counter and began to scan and bag the items. “Your friend must care about you a lot, this is quite the kind gesture” she noted to you as she scanned the last item and slid it into a discreet, unmarked bag.
“She deserves it, after the shit she's been through,” Heat told her. The woman smiled sadly in response, and you got the sense that maybe she had an inclination of what you'd been through. Given you still looked pretty boney even after a few weeks of eating well, it was probably clear that you'd been abused quite badly, you still had the clear physical appearance of someone who had been starved for a long time.
Heat paid for the items with a generous tip and thanked her for her help, leading your excited but nervous self out of the store before you could burn a hole with your eyes into the massive dragon themed dildo you'd been staring at curiously that stood proudly on display behind the counter.
Heat followed you back to your room at the inn after running errands together, still carrying your shopping bag like the gentleman he was. The two of you had already left most of what he'd bought with a couple of henchmen to be taken back to the ship. It was late afternoon now, soon the others would be gathering at a nearby pub that Killer had picked out for dinner. Kid wasn't a fan of fancy restaurants, but pubs had a much more casual atmosphere, more suited to his tastes.
“You gonna try out your new stuff?” Heat smirked as he pulled your things out of the paper bag that hid the adult store items, leaving just his mags inside to bring back to his own room later.
“I was gonna have a shower, actually,” you replied, sliding off your shoes and pulling your toiletries from your duffle bag, “did you want to join me?” you added with a coy smile on your face. There'd been dirty thoughts in your head all day since Heat had explained oral to you, and the trip to the adult store certainly hadn't helped the situation.
Heat squinted at you, trying to decide if you were serious. Sure you'd fooled around plenty, but you'd never been below the belt with him, he'd been holding off till he felt like you were ready. He wanted you to learn how you liked to be pleased before you focused on anyone else. To be fair though, you had slept with Delilah last night, so maybe you were ready to experiment on other people. And if pleasing others was what made you feel good, who was he to deny you? Lord knew he got off making you feel good.
“What's that face for?” You mused, already half undressed and on your way to the door of the attached bathroom, mask discarded and seastone in hand.
“Are you sure you're ready for that?” Heat asked you with genuine concern.
“Yeah, I'm sure,” you smiled, tugging on his hand to pull him to the bathroom, “to be honest I really liked pleasing Delilah last night, I wanna please you too”
“You don't have to do that,” he said softly, while you tugged at the lacing on his corset to loosen it.
“But I want to,” you purred. Your genuine smile made his heart flutter and his dick twitch. Fuck you were hard to say no to.
You finished undressing and turned the shower on, adjusting the temperature before stepping in. You stood under the stream for a moment, letting the warm water wash over you, before giving him an almost tender, inviting glance. He sighed in defeat and finished undressing, sliding in behind you. It was a reasonably sized shower, big enough to fit Heat's large frame beside you, but small enough that you were forced to stand somewhat close. You let out a contented sigh as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his front and pressing kisses along your collarbone. You twisted in his arms to face him, pulling him down with arms around his neck so you could kiss him, he was so goddamn tall.
The water spilled over you both as you smoothed your tongue against his, and you pressed hard against his front, rubbing your soft abdomen against his growing erection. You could feel the cool metal of the piercings on the underside pressing against your skin. Out of curiosity you pulled away from the kiss, wanting to see better, and he gave you space to look, proud of his size and not at all uncomfortable with your staring.
“You can touch it, if you want,” he told you reassuringly. Your eyes flicked to his quickly before returning to his dick, a hesitant hand coming up and running along the underside, admiring the weight of it, before wrapping your fingers as much as you could around the base and stroking it gently. The skin there was surprisingly smooth, like velvet in your palm, and you ran your hand carefully over the piercings, scared you might hurt him. His hand wrapped around yours as he groaned at the first feeling of your warm touch on him, and he encouraged you to squeeze a little firmer, guiding your hand to stroke up and down near the base the way he liked. He let go as you got the gist of it, your eyes shifting between watching yourself stroke him, and his face as he groaned quietly and supported himself against the wall behind you.
“That's it- hnng- good girl,” Heat groaned, “just like that”
The pleasurable sounds he was making made arousal pool between your legs and you found yourself rubbing your thighs together to get friction. You only had one free hand, since you needed the other for your seastone, and unfortunately for you it was currently in use.
“Heat, can you hold my seastone against me?” You asked, holding it out for him. He nodded and took it from you, careful to make sure it stayed against your skin as he slid the small pebble up your arm, resting it against your shoulder. You held his hand to your shoulder as you started to kneel, his eyes growing wide in surprise.
“Yin, you don't have to do that, just your hand is enough,” he told you.
“But I want to,” you said, squatting in front of him, still pumping him while your other newly freed hand ran over his thigh. Your mouth was centimetres away from his tip now, and you looked up at him with eyes that were dark with lust. “I want to taste you so fucking bad,” you purred, running your nose against the side of his cock. He grunted and gave in immediately to your dirty words.
“Fuck, okay,” he moaned, “just- don't push yourself too far. If you don't like it we can stop, I won't be angry”
You smiled at your victory and gave him an experimental kitten lick against the side you'd been nuzzling, before making more kitten licks all over. Precum started to leak from the tip as he watched you, and you observed it curiously before lapping it up and humming contently. You weren't sure what you were supposed to do, so you just kept swirling your tongue around the head, looking up at him with innocent eyes as he grunted.
“Put it in your mouth baby, suck on it,” he purred, sensing your were in need of some guidance and petting the top of your head, “just watch out for your teeth”
You hesitantly did as you were instructed, sucking him into your mouth maybe a little too harshly. His hips bucked forward and forced himself further in, making you gag a little in surprise. “Fuck, sorry baby,” he pulled away from you, “you just felt so fucking good”
To his surprise, you weren't at all fazed, instead unbelievably turned on by the idea of him being deeper inside you. After all, you'd only ever had his fingers. It felt dirty having him in your mouth, and you suddenly wanted him to fill you. You ran your tongue back over the head of his cock before swallowing him again, concentrating on suppressing the need to gag as you took him as far as you could down your throat, nestling your nose against his pubes and looking up at him with doe eyes. His eyes were wide as you paused with him deep down your throat, your eyes watering a little but determined to keep him inside you as you swallowed around him.
“Fuck, Yin,” he groaned, “fuck”
You let him go, keeping your hand on the base of his dick and stroking more as you caught your breath. “Did I do good? Should I do it again?” You cooed, looking up at him for praise.
“Yes baby, you're being such a good girl for me,” he cooed. It was becoming quite apparent to him that you had a praise kink, even if you didn't realise it so he made sure to play into it. “You're doing so good, make it go in and out of your mouth baby”
You took him back in your mouth and bobbed your head back and forth, rubbing your tongue against the piercings on the underside as you moved. You were determined to please him, practically suckling on him as you moved. He was leaning against the wall holding on for dear life while you went down on him, trying to keep it together enough to keep the seastone pressed to your shoulder. One of your hands returned to his shaft, stroking him at a pace to match your mouth, while the other slid between your legs, where your pussy was spread wide open as you squatted in front of him. You felt so in control and knowing that it was you making him moan was making you unbearably horny, so you fingered yourself furiously. He could hear the lewd sounds of your fingers pumping in and out of you, and it made him lose control, the coil in his stomach ready to spring at any second.
“Fuck, Yin, I'm gonna-” he pulled out with the intention of cumming on the shower floor, so you wouldn't be surprised by it in your mouth, but he'd reacted too late and instead spurted hot white threads of cum over your face, forcing you to close one eye. “Sorry, fuck, sorry Yin”
You wiped the cum off your eye and looked at the sticky substance on your hand, before licking it off curiously. You found yourself liking the salty taste, aroused by the fact that it had come out of him, and that you had made it come out, so you wiped the rest from your face, pushing it into your mouth and licking it off your fingers, humming contently while he looked down at you with astonishment. On top of the praise kink, he was starting to think you had a thing for fluids, especially considering how you'd spoken about your time with Delilah, having gotten the more graphic details over lunch. When there was nothing on your face, you grabbed him again, forcing his over sensitive cock back into your mouth to milk him clean of anything left.
“Hnng- fuck- Yin,” he panted hard as he pressed his head against the cool tile wall, the water from the still running shower trickling down his back. You kissed your way up his chest as you stood, and nipped at his neck, humming contently at how utterly lewd and powerful you felt. You took the seastone from his weak hand and tilted his chin down towards you, forcing him to look at you, overcome with that feeling of power and desire.
“Heat, get on your fucking knees,” you growled.
His cock twitched back to life at your sudden confidence, and he dropped down in front of you immediately, draping your knee over his shoulder and immediately diving between your legs like a man starved. He’d wanted to do this for so long, having only ever tasted you off his fingers, wanting so badly to drink from the source. You pulled his hair tight as you leaned back against the shower wall, forcing his head to stay between your legs while he ate you out with fervour. You were slick with arousal and he moaned into you, holding your hips tight as he slid his thick tongue inside you and pumped you with it. You weren't the only one who enjoyed going down on a hot, wet pussy. He felt so fucking good inside you and you rolled your hips in time, letting him fuck you with his greedy tongue while his thumb worked away at your clit, till you felt your muscles tighten and you came suddenly with a shout on his face. Heat lapped up your release with a groan, both of your eyes closed in bliss as he worked you through the heavy orgasm.
Finally sated you let his hair go, and he carefully slid your leg off his shoulder, standing back up and pulling you close. You hugged each other tight while you came down from your high, and sighed contently at how warm and safe you felt with your naked body pressed against his under the running water. You leaned up on your tip toes and kissed him tenderly, tasting yourself on his lips, and pushing stray hair out of his face as you lowered yourself back into the hug.
“You're so incredible,” Heat mumbled into your shoulder, his face buried in the crook of your neck.
“Thank you, Heat, for letting me try that,” you purred happily, “it was fun,” you giggled.
“Any fucking time,” he laughed, “I don't think I'm gonna even bother to go find a woman tonight anymore, that was too fucking good”
You giggled again, filled with pride, and nuzzled into him, “me neither, I was going to go see Delilah again but, do you think maybe you'd want to stay with me tonight instead, Heat?” you looked up at him with warm, adoring eyes as he stood properly upright, his hands still on the small of your back, “this is nice, just being close to you”
“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, “I'll stay, but we have to go to dinner first. We can hang out after”
“That sounds good,” you mumbled, half asleep between his warm body and the warm water.
“Are we gonna actually wash while we're in here?” Heat laughed.
“Mmm… nah,” you replied, pressing your face in to his chest, “let's just stay like this”
“Okay sweetheart, that's fine by me,” he cooed, running a hand through your pretty purple hair.
The next day passed with not much of note. Heat woke up in your bed after more fooling around, and you helped him with the last of his errands before wandering aimlessly around the town together. There wasn't much to do if you weren't into winter sports, so you just hung out and got high in your inn room, while Heat happily let you explore his body further. You both decided to head back to the bar that night though, meeting up with the other commanders who already had women slung over their laps. Delilah seemed excited to see you again, and happily followed your back to your room once more, this time taking full advantage of your devil fruit, as well as your new toys and newfound confidence. She left as you were waking the next morning, promising to see you later at the bar.
It was evening again, and the men were all taking full advantage of their last night on shore, the bar now filled with Kid Pirates all hoping to get laid one last time before setting sail tomorrow morning. You were one of the last to arrive, having decided to take an afternoon nap which had accidentally gone a little long, and grabbing a quick bite in the restaurant next door to the inn before heading to the brothel where you knew the others would be. Delilah was already in the booth, and you were surprised to see her fawning over Kid. You didn't feel a pang of jealousy though, you knew Delilah was a working woman who had already sacrificed two nights of potential income to sleep with you, and considering how late you were she probably thought you weren't coming at all, so she'd no doubt decided to make some cash with a paying customer instead.
“Yin!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw you, “I thought I wasn't going to have the pleasure of your company tonight!”
The booth was full, so you decided to just slide on to Heat's currently empty lap, who graciously wrapped his arms around your waist and indicated to a passing waitress to bring another drink.
“Yeah sorry, nap ran long,” you yawned, “did I miss anything?”
“Delilah was just telling me about your fun little vibrating trick,” Kid laughed, “sounds like the two of you had fun last night. Our sweet Delilah missed you the other night, but I took real good care of her for you”
You were unphased by Kid's attempt at teasing, thinking that you would at least have some inclination to be jealous or petty about Kid stealing ‘your’ woman. Unfortunately for him, you couldn't care less, especially not when you'd spent that time with Heat instead, so it's not like you were missing out. Kid scowled at the lack of reaction, more interested in the drink the waitress had just dropped off for you, and picked up his own drink with a heavy frown.
“I didn't know you and the blue haired one were an item,” Delilah noted, observing the casual way you sat on Heat's lap, “kind of him to let you play with me”
“Well, they do say sharing is caring,” you winked at Kid who almost choked on his drink, “Heat and I are just friends though”
“Friends with significant benefits,” Wire laughed.
“They're very good benefits,” you smirked. Heat started to go pink behind you and cleared his throat.
Delilah gave Kid a knowing look before sliding closer to you, pulling your thigh so it rested on her lap instead of Heat's. It left your legs spread wide open under the table as Delilah's hand ran up your inner thigh teasingly. “Maybe you'd like to join our little party with the captain then?”
You froze and Heat could feel your muscles tensing, you were definitely uncomfortable at the suggestion. “Yin doesn't fuck around with the captain,” Killer interrupted before Heat could come to your defense. He felt sorry for you, looking just as scared as you had when Kid had pinned you to the table, and he had no doubt you were remembering that exact moment.
‘Oh? How come?” Delilah purred, still determined to sway you into a threesome.
“None of your business,” Killer snapped. You gave him a look that, even with most of your face obscured by your mask, still read as a silent thank you. His protectiveness was unexpected, but welcomed.
Delilah let the topic go, sensing there was something she was missing here, and slid back over to Kid. “Well, maybe I'll just come say hello later,” she added, “after your captain is done with me”
“If you can walk by the time I'm done with you,” Kid smirked. Killer groaned at the cocky remark and rolled his eyes under the mask.
You felt strange, suddenly feeling like a burden, and slipped off Heat's lap to stand. Once again you were being dropped for someone who would do more, it made you feel insecure and insignificant. “I think maybe I'll head to bed actually,” you said. There was a hint of sadness in your voice that the other commanders didn't miss, “I think maybe that nap wasn't quite enough, I'll see you guys tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, Delilah”
You walked away without another word, not really entirely sure in yourself why you were leaving. You just knew you felt like you didn't really belong here anymore, despite Killer's kind defence of you, and maybe you'd feel more comfortable spending the night alone for once.
It was late when a knock came on your door. You groaned and dragged yourself out of bed. You hadn't really been asleep anyway, just laying in bed, thinking. You were surprised to find a very drunk Delilah leaning against the frame when you opened the door. She was half naked, her hair in disarray, the smell of sex and alcohol strong on her. She pushed her way into the room, closing the door behind her. You didn't try to stop her, welcoming the distraction.
It wasn't long before you were both falling asleep, naked and spent, after several rounds of messy fucking and some special use of your devil fruit. Or at least, that's how it looked at a glance. As soon as she heard the soft sounds of your snoring, Delilah gave up her masquerade and slipped out of the bed, hastily throwing on her clothes and grabbing your mask from the side table before leaving. She stopped at the door, throwing you one last guilty look, before quietly sliding out and heading back to Kid's room.
Not getting a rise out of you earlier had pissed him off, and a pissed off Kid, combined with alcohol, was never a good mix. He'd had a curiosity about your mask since you came on board, but Killer had always berated him for even thinking about touching it. But Killer wasn't here right now, and Kid was pissed off, so he'd paid Delilah handsomely to get the mask for him. She felt awful about it, but a berri was a berri - she had bills to pay, and she’d probably never see you again anyway. He probably could have gotten it himself, but Killer would have drowned him if he'd found out he'd gone to your room and scared you. At least this way you got a few orgasms out of the arrangement, he praised himself for being so kind.
Nothing seemed amiss when you woke up, stretching and yawning, wiping the sleep from your eyes. You flopped back down, not quite ready yet to open your eyes. With a groan you reached your hand over to the side table, dropping your seastone in favour of your mask. It clattered against the wooden floor as you missed the unfamiliar table, so used to the size and position of your table back on the ship. No worries, you'd just pick it up in a minute. You kept your eyes closed as you reached for your mask, it was easier to avoid being overwhelmed that way. It was a bad habit, really, letting go of the seastone before grabbing the mask, but if you did it this way you only needed one hand, and you were lazy. You found the surface with your hand, patting around blindly for it, and finding the surface empty. Maybe you knocked it down in your sleep? Not a problem, it was made of a metal shell, so you'd be able to make it out on the floor if you opened your eyes.
You could see far too much when you opened them, the wooden walls and furniture of the room becoming basically invisible as you saw right through them, save for the occasional pipe or wire or nail. You could see people in the other rooms, all Kid Pirates and a handful of working women, since the rest of the inn's residents had fled when the crew checked in. It was hard to tell who was who, just warm bodies scattered in a void of space, broken up by the occasional metal from a door handle, or weapon, or the small personal safes that each room featured. Most of them seemed to be doing something akin to packing, some of them still horizontal, sleeping you assumed. A few were a few interacting with other bodies, no doubt getting in last minute romps before they set off.
You shook your head and tried to focus, you knew from experience that you only had a few minutes before you became overwhelmed, it was important you found your mask before then. You set your sights on where the floor of your room should have been, and scowled when you found no sign of your mask. You looked around where you estimated the boundaries of your room to be, finding only your dagger and sword, and the metal inner workings of the toys Heat had bought you the other day. Your shoulders twitched as the buzzing noise around you started to creep in, becoming louder as you grew disoriented and your focus began to falter. Your last hope was the seastone, you would be able to see it if you looked, since it nullified your ability. Seastone created something of a void in your vision whenever you looked at it without your mask, not so much a physical object, more just a complete lack of anything.
You underestimated where the edge of the bed was and fell, landing face first on the hard floor. You raised yourself up on your hands, beginning to lose your hold on reality. You could see the seastone, but it seemed like it was under the bed. You felt for the edge of the bedframe and tried your best to reach under, but the bed was too low and your arm was too short, flapping around uselessly under the bed as your shoulder drove painfully into the bedframe. Panic was setting in as you felt yourself starting to slip away, so you turned desperately to where you had seen your katana, hoping you could slide it under the bed to free the stone.
You were crawling towards it on your hands and knees, twitching, when it finally became all too much. You curled into a ball and whimpered, you couldn't even make out your own voice over the deafening sound of everything, so you had no idea if you'd be able to yell for help. Would it be loud enough for anyone to hear? Would you even be saying anything coherent? You couldn't tell, and your heart rate was spiking as you began to hyperventilate, the twitching becoming more frequent as you became hyper aware of every molecule of air vibrating around you.
You pushed yourself up onto your knees and desperately looked around, too far gone to know what you were looking for or what you needed. That was when you spotted it. Your mask.
Or at least, what looked like parts of your mask. And in front of it, the unmistakable metal-armed body of Eustass Kid. An inhuman growl escaped you as you realised that he had your mask, and he was disassembling it. A bloodlust sparked in you, those feral instincts that had long since laid dormant taking over as your mind singled in on one goal - kill Kid. Kill Kid, kill Kid, KILL KID.
You rushed towards him, smashing into and bouncing off a wall you hadn't seen, or had forgotten existed, and you roared at it like it had personally offended you. You pressed your hand to it, vibrating the wood till the molecules broke apart and it scattered into dust, leaving a hole in the wall for you to pass through. You continued this way on a direct route to Kid - charging forward, crashing into a wall, destroying it, continuing. You passed through a room and a body approached you. You didn't recognise them, seeing only their blood and their organs and their bones, and went on the attack, in defence against someone you had no way of knowing was harmless. In your fury you liquified their insides, not even bothering to watch their lifeless body fall as you continued on your war path. It had been one of the henchmen, and the woman he had been with screamed, running panicked for her life. You did not hear it.
The body you were zeroing in on perked its head in the direction of the scream, about to stand, when you came barreling through the wall. Your eyes were lifeless and empty and you were breathing like a rabid animal, twitching like you were covered in fire ants as you approached Kid. He stood to defend himself, immediately realising he’d fucked up, and you charged, jumping at him and sinking your teeth deep into his neck till you tasted blood. You could have killed him quickly the same way you had the henchman, but you wanted to make his pain last longer, you didn't want to make it a quick kill. You wanted to feel him bleed out, feel his hot blood pooling while he cried out, hear and see his heart take its last weak pump. You coated your body in armament haki, making yourself a bullet proof leech as he fruitlessly punched and clawed at you, falling to the ground in his struggle.
Killer had been finishing the last of his packing when he heard the scream. Shrill, terrified, the sound of a woman who thought their life was in genuine danger. He could only assume a henchman had gone too far, and tutted as he left his room, preparing to scold whoever had made the poor woman scream. He caught the tail end of her as she raced down the hall, mostly naked, disappearing down a stairwell. Retracing to the open door she had come from, he cleared his throat in preparation for yelling, but stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed the hole in the wall. It was a perfect circle, a large pile of wood dust sitting under it, like someone had painstakingly sanded away at the wall layer by layer. He stepped through the hole and immediately regretted not bringing his weapons when he found the body of a henchman, lifeless on the floor, a pink goo and dark blood dripping from every orifice. His open eyelids revealed empty holes where his eyes should have been, a pool of liquid dripping from them instead. He almost gagged under the mask, it was a gruesome sight even for him.
He was about to investigate closer when Kid began to shout nearby, and his head snapped in the direction of the yelling to find two more perfect holes, Kid falling to the ground in a struggle on the other side of them. Killer ran, ready to destroy whoever or whatever had dared to attack his captain, weapons be damned he'd use his bare fists if he had to.
He panicked when what he found was you, your unmistakable purple hair swinging back and forth as Kid tried to roll to get you off him, revealing your teeth deep in his neck as he moved. He was smacking you with his metal arm, and you were entirely unphased, covered in the metal shimmer of strong armament haki. A quick glance around the room to look for a weapon or something he could use to subdue you and he spotted your mask, dismantled on the desk of the large room. He growled under his own mask in anger as he put two and two together.
He leaned over the two of you and grabbed your face, sticking his fingers in the corners of your mouth to force your teeth out of Kid's bleeding neck, like you were a wild dog. You made a feral sound that made a shiver run down his spine as he attempted to pry open your jaw, but with more force than he would like he was able to loosen your bite enough to pull you away. Moving on pure instinct he ripped off his mask, jamming it on your head to muzzle you before pressing you to the floor, using his entire weight to pin you down. You roared and fought back, but after a few moments you began to settle, your armament haki dissipating and the feral growls turning to small sad whimpers as you calmed.
“Kid what the fuck did you do,” Killer growled, turning his uncovered face to look at Kid, who was trying his best to stop the bleeding on his neck with a discarded shirt. The unbridled rage was clear on Killer's face, his piercing blue eyes told Kid he was ready to kill him. A sight he hadn't seen since they were kids, it shook him to his core. “I told you, I fucking told you NOT TO FUCKING TOUCH HER MASK”
“BUT SHE PISSED ME OFF!” Kid snapped back, “I just wanted to have a look! She had her seastone! It was fine!”
“Evidently Kid, it was not fucking fine. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Killer snapped, “put it back together, NOW. I'm fucking serious Kid, I will fucking kill you myself if she doesn't do it first, there is nothing stopping her right now from liquifying both of us at any second”
“Fuck, okay, okay, I'm doing it,” Kid grumbled, immediately putting his devil fruit in to action to manipulate the mask pieces while he continued to hold the shirt to his neck. “Why is she calm now? Shouldn't she still be rabid?”
“She told me my mask is a blind spot for her, so I thought it might dull her senses,” he explained, “she gets like that because she's overwhelmed, so I was hoping blocking most shit out would help.”
You'd stopped fighting him entirely, and he wondered if it was okay to let you go now. He lifted himself off you slowly and you stayed where you were, but reached for him blindly. He figured you were probably terrified, so he stayed sitting cross legged on the floor next to you, and pulled you into his lap protectively, letting you burrow into him and use him as an anchor. The mask made it tricky, and you whimpered as you bumped awkwardly into his chest, but you managed to wrap yourself around him anyway, sitting in his lap facing him, with your legs and arms wrapped firmly around him while you made sad little sniffles. He did his best to comfort you, keeping you held tight against him and stroking your back. It was weird seeing you in his mask, he'd never let anyone wear it, but it'd been the first thing he'd thought of to sedate you. He didn't like however that there was currently a massive hole in the wall behind them where anyone could walk in at any time and see his unmasked face.
Kid stood over the two of you and cleared his throat, interrupting Killer who was apparently lost in his thoughts, idly rocking you back and forth. Kid was holding your mask out for him to take. “You good, Kil?”
“Yeah it's just.. weird to see someone in my mask..” he replied, taking your own mask from him. He sighed and removed his mask from you, quickly putting it back over his own head before putting yours on you. The second you felt the familiar pressure sliding on you grabbed it like a lifering, pulling it in to place and quickly switching it on.
When you finally opened your eyes you yelped, seeing Killer's mask so close to you, then looking down and realising you were in his lap. Not just in his lap, but effectively straddling him, your legs wrapped tight around his waist. You scrambled backwards out of it, backing up against the side of Kid's bed. “SORRY, SORRY!” you squeaked out as a visible blush spread down your face and neck.
“It's fine,” Killer assured you, hiding his own blush as he realised just how close you'd been, feeling the distinct absence of your weight and warmth. “Are you okay?”
You looked between Killer and Kid, who had a trail of blood down his chest as he held pressure on his neck, then you looked around and realised this was most definitely not your room.
“What- what happened?” You whispered, “did I- did I go feral?”
“You tried to take a fucking chunk out of me,” Kid growled. Killer shot him a dangerous look. It didn't matter that he had a mask back on, Kid knew the look well anyway. He quickly shut his mouth.
“Kid took your mask,” Killer explained, “and he's really fucking sorry, aren't you Kid?”
“I just wanted a look…” Kid replied like a scorned child.
“Kid,” Killer snapped.
“OKAY, FUCK, I'm sorry Yin, I didn't know you would actually go feral,” he mumbled, “what happened to your seastone?”
You scowled at him, doing your best to not just snap and kill him right then and there out of principle, “it fell on the floor when I was switching to my mask, which would usually be fine, if someone hadn't fucking taken it”
“I said I'm sorry okay!” He yelled.
“I don't fucking care what you say, you're fucking lucky I don't kill you right fucking now,” you spat, standing up and rushing at him, an accusatory finger poking him in the chest, “what the fuck is wrong with you Kid? Killer warned you what would happen, are you fucking stupid? I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!”
Killer was standing behind you now, resting a calming hand on your shoulder, pulling you gently away from Kid, “That's enough, one life lost is enough for today”
You snapped your head towards Killer, “one life lost? Did I fucking kill someone? Oh my god tell me it wasn't Heat please”
“Heat is fine, I assume,” Killer assured you, “it was just a henchman. No big deal”
You let out a heavy sigh and looked at Kid with an apologetic expression, “Sorry, Captain”
“This ones on me,” Kid sighed. You took a few steps closer and gave him a hesitant look before delicately pulling his hand that held the shirt away from his neck to inspect it.
“Fuck,” you whispered, standing on your tippy toes to be able to see properly, “the bleeding looks like its stopped but you should probably see Mohawk about this, I went pretty deep. Sorry Kid. I've always did tend to go for the jugular when I'm feral, doesn't help that its one of the only things I can see”
“Don't worry about it,” he mumbled, “lesson learned, I won't touch your precious mask again”
You sighed again and took a few steps back, apologising again before turning to leave. That's when you spotted the series of perfectly circular holes that led directly to your room and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Well, that's new,” you sighed, walking through the holes back to your room, stopping to glance at the dead henchman on your way. You didn't even know his name, so you exhaled in relief, no love lost.
Killer gave Kid one more warning glance before following you back through the holes to check on you, not fully convinced that you were fine.
“You okay?” He asked as he stood in the eave of the last hole, watching you hurriedly pack your things. He couldn't help but notice the new toys as you shoved them unceremoniously into your duffle bag, but he tried his best to shake the dirty thoughts they brought up.
“I'm fucking peachy, Kil,” you muttered, before taking your katana and using it to retrieve your seastone from under the bed. “Stupid fucking rock,” you mumbled as you threw it in your duffle bag. You zipped the bag shut and paused, looking at it sadly as you stood beside the dresser it sat on. “I nearly killed him, I tasted his fucking blood, Kil. I can still taste it.” You shook your head with a frown and opened your duffle again, retrieving your toothbrush and toothpaste and making a beeline for the bathroom. You left the door open, so as not to be rude to Killer.
“Its not on you, this is his fuck up,” Killer told you. You turned back to him as you brushed your teeth and softened, seeing his mask and suddenly realising what he'd done for you.
“Your mask…” you said softly, lowering your brush.
“You said it blocks shit, I thought it might help,” he said nonchalantly, scratching the back of his neck.
“It was good thinking,” you told him, spitting your mouth full of toothpaste and rinsing your mouth and brush. You returned the brush and paste to your duffle, staring at the bag with a small blush, “It smells like you in there. It reminded me of the blanket you put over me during the storm. You have a calming scent”
His breath stuttered as you stood properly and looked directly at him, and there was a pregnant silence as you stared at each other. Your eyes couldn't meet because of the masks, but he felt like you were looking right into his soul. His heart skipped as you closed the distance between you and gently took one of his hands in your own.
“Thank you Kil,” you said softly, finally breaking the silence. Your voice was sweet and sincere, “that must have been hard for you to do, I won't forget what you did for me”
“It's nothing,” he mumbled, glad for the mask that was hiding his bright red cheeks, “I did it to protect Kid”
“Yeah, I know,” you sighed, staring forlorn at his hand as you ran your thumb over the scarred back of it, “but thank you anyway”
“Right,” he cleared his throat, pulling his hand away, “I need to finish packing…”
“Yeah, of course,” you replied, taking a few awkward steps back, “I'll uh.. I'll see you on the ship?”
“Yeah, sure,” he mumbled and quickly fled back to his own room.
[NEXT CHAPTER] - link soon
#one piece fanfiction#one piece smut#killer one piece#killer x reader#massacre soldier killer#heat one piece#heat x reader#kid pirates
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Okay so for some unknowable reason I fell into watching a let's play series of a horror game, and now I'll definitely be jumping at shadows for the foreseeable future until the spell wears off. I'm not good with horror. I knew this, and yet I felt compelled to watch it—
But enough about me, let's kinda vomit out the AU brain mulch that has formed in my head in an incoherent manner.
This has to do with Hilmes, Ranna/Ashaya, and the Haunted Temple™ that will be featuring in the fic.
I would highly recommend you check out the link first to get some context on what the everloving fuck I'm talking about because this thing ain't coherent, baby!
Also, some stuff might contradict each other, I'm still trying to suss out what works and what doesn't, this is basically unfiltered brain soup.
Folk tale added to the Temple, it's deep in the woods, “don't go into the woods, don't go into the ruins, it'll eat you up” is a cautionary tale everyone knows about.
Wonky time mechanics. You wander into the Temple, you've only been there for a hour you swear but you come back out months later.
Folk tale as a foreshadowing device: a royal princess was said to have been snatched up by a bandit in this region— some say she was kidnapped, others say she fell in love with this bandit. Who knows, really? Is the tale even true?
The above folk legend as a foreshadowing device for Ashaya being 1) a secret princess, 2) joining the clan though I guess it's not much of a foreshadowing since they'll most likely be gone w Farangis in the same chapter the myth is mentioned [because the clan got mistaken for bandits and got killed in the first chapter, remember?], 3) falling in love with Alfarīd aka a bandit.
The tale could also be an “explanation” for a princess that actually went missing— a young woman who wandered into the temple for some reason (unclear) finds out something so terrible that she can't bear to face the world outside again.
(it's about Kaykhusraw's betrayal)
I'm still not sure whether I'll actually keep the princess part. It could be a neat bit of foreshadowing for Hilmes discovering smth, maybe he sees an imprint of her, but I feel there's no way to communicate her journey effectively in the story since nobody actually knows what happened to her
Still though, I like the idea of Parsian royal women having worldbuilding and perhaps even plot relevance. I don't think the family tree thing from the novel extras (iirc??) even provided female members of the royal line. Tanaka, I swear.
It'll be forever before we actually get to that point but I'm actually worried about writing Hilmes' (terrible terrible) time in the haunted temple turning into a side quest problem if you know what I mean? An arc/event so divorced from the rest of the plot and world that screeches the pacing to a grinding halt. I mean, the temple tumble is necessary to his character growth, but it really has the potential to become... tedious to read.
For the record, I'm worried about Alfarīd and Ashaya's scenes having this same problem too, since they break off from the rest of the cast to have an adventure together. But at least having them have a plot progression that ties into other plot threads is easier than doing the same with Hilmes because they're not trapped in an isolated location.
Wait, info about the bells can actually be revealed here, and not have the clan remember throughout? Or if they did remember the bells existing then the locations of where the bells had vanished to could be received from the temple.
They'll need to decode it first, though.
Okay, I'm not sure what to do with the Rukhnabad. I was originally gonna have Hilmes not pull it out and cause problems but I... kinda need the damn thing for the plot. Maybe he gets Shooketh™ from whatever he learned in the temple that it compromises his ability to be chill about the looming threat and he yoinks it out of desperation—
(or maybe Ashaya can be the one to take it, as a twist, though what would their reasoning for doing so be?)
SYMBOLISM SYMBOLISM SYMBOLISM
Okay, so, death.
Sherine (Ashaya's original name before they changed it upon joining the clan) is dead. She died when she disappeared into the woods.
The clan has a death-and-rebirth thing going on. Someone joins the clan, they either choose to keep their name or not, but the self they were before they joined is gone, dead to the world, essentially. They could not belong in the living world, hence why they joined the “dead”. Folks who had complicated relationships with the parents who gave them their name, their old families, their old selves, those people typically discard their names (as Ashaya, Kashi, Kazai, etc did) while those who had a positive relationship with their families but lost them in a traumatic way would keep their names (as Farangis and Gieve would). I know I've talked about this before but I can't remember if I put it in a post or in a comment.
Y'know the changeling thing? The died-but-came-back-wrong thing? The same principle, it's not literal, mind you, it's a metaphorical, symbolic thing.
So, a secret royal child goes into or near this place and is reborn as someone else (Ashaya)
Only years later, another secret royal goes into this place, gets trapped in it, and is reborn anew (Hilmes)
Words are not wording rn but you get the idea, right?
Also, mentioned somewhere that the temple holds onto things of the past, aka if you have a belonging on your person that represents something from the past that you cling onto, bye-bye item, you're not getting that back.
Aka, the temple snatched Hilmes' mask because it's a representation of his fixation w the past and everything that's tied to it aka his trauma his identity his sense of self etc etc
Hilmes can't get out bc he built his everything around his past, ergo, his whole person is a figment of the past
Like recognizes like, hence why he's trapped until he's forced to build a new identity that doesn't revolve around his, well, everything
Ashaya probably didn't get trapped bc, well, kid's not fixated to the past they just wanted out (from their shitty family situation)
Bloodstains, screams, inexplicable items vanishing and manifesting, hallucinations/visions that were probably actual memories of the past, Hilmes is not gonna have a fun time
The temple's haunted but in like, an intangible way, so to speak? No literal spooky ghosts floating about, they're fused to the building so the building itself is a haunting, you get what I mean?
Maybe there is one tangible ghost Hilmes can actually see. Maybe two, if I end up keeping the royal lady.
Okay, maybe I won't keep the royal lady.
But something could guide him through this whole ordeal and lead him to whatever truth bombs it wants to reveal.
Could his parentage be revealed here? Unlikely, the temple's hauntedness is it basically reliving the past over and over, not much space for... hm.
Maybe Kaykhusraw's journals could appear inside— no, no, probably too far-fetched.
So many specifics I need to nail down.
#arslan senki#the heroic legend of arslan#heroic legend of arslan#wolfpack au#winds of wolfsong#hilmes#ranna (oc)#ashaya (oc)#gods I need to sort out her tag#AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Sweet Child of Mine (3,782 Words)
A follow on from my fic 'You are Not Alone.' I would recommend reading that one first but it's not essential! Basically, Omega has returned from the Rebellion after the war and is pregnant.
Back by popular demand is Ba'buir Hunter! I had no idea how popular he would be but I'm here for it!
As always, the link to my AO3 page is here and the link to my masterlist on Tumblr is here!
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Hunter awoke about an hour after he’d drifted into a light sleep, confused for a moment as to what had woken him up.
It became pretty clear when he heard a slow intake of breath followed by a gradual shuffle of someone in pain moving back and forth… who could be up at this time? Wrecker would be making more noise if this was him, and Crosshair hated pacing. It drove the man insane, so there was no way that it was him. That, of course, left one member of the household. Clambering out of bed, Hunter padded down the stairs of their home and into the living room.
The sight in front of him made his heart drop into his stomach.
There, in her pyjamas, was Omega; she was braced against the back of the sofa, her hands gripping it tightly as she breathed in slowly through her nose and then out through her mouth. Her bump had dropped a few days ago, indicating that she was nearing the end of her pregnancy.
Hunter frowned. She was in pain, he could practically see it radiating off of her.
“You struggling to sleep, ‘Mega?” he asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt her thoughts. The woman simply nodded, a scowl on her face that told her buir everything he needed to know. His kid was in pain… a lot of pain. He stepped forward, coming up behind her and gently rubbing circles on her lower back in the way the nurse had suggested. The affect was almost immediate, with her becoming a little more relaxed.
“I think…” she trailed off, loosening her grip on the sofa and sanding to face her buir. “That these are contractions.”
Hunter didn’t know how to react, his mouth opening and closing a little like a fish. “Oh,” he eventually managed to stammer out, making Omega laugh. “How far apart?” he asked when his brain eventually kicked back into gear. She muttered her response and he breathed a sigh of relief. There was no need to panic yet. Even if his little girl’s face was contorted with pain and exhaustion. Hunter, deciding to try and hide his panic, offered the support he knew how to give.
“Want some help with that pacing?”
When Crosshair came down in the early morning for a glass of water, he froze before entering the kitchen; Omega was stood, hands braced on Hunter’s shoulders and her face buried in his chest as she took deep breaths. The ex-sergeant held her up by the arms, whispering quiet support in her ear as she worked her way through another contraction. Hunter glanced up at his brother, having spotted him and they had a silent conversation.
Need me here?
Not yet. It’s not time.
Crosshair nodded his head in a ‘if you need me, get me,’ gesture and Hunter nodded with a grateful smile on his face. He then went back to soothing his daughter.
“That was an impressive one,” Omega wheezed out as it passed; she went a little limp, glad that her buir was there to catch her and support her weight. They wondered over to the couch, Hunter carefully guiding her into a seated position. The exhaustion was beginning to catch up with the young woman and he could see her eyes drooping as her head began to nod.
“Get some sleep if you can, ad’ika,” he whispered, also taking a seat on the sofa. She curled into him, forcing him to put an arm around her and hold her close… not that he minded.
Omega slowly nodded off, her face still washed over with a pained expression. She was really struggling, Hunter thought to himself as he rested his head against the back of the couch. A small nap wouldn’t hurt, he mused as he let himself drift back into a light sleep.
He was woken up by the sound of heavy breathing and a low and drawn out groan.
Jerking awake, the first thing he was aware of was Omega, hunched forward and groaning as a contraction washed over her. The next thing he knew was that Crosshair was crouched in front of her, holding her hands and whispering meditation breathing techniques that she had taught him. The final thing he became aware of as he drifted into consciousness was the huge wet patch on the couch.
“Waters broke a minute ago,” Crosshair responded to his thoughts, and Hunter nodded. He gave himself a second to absorb the information before shifting on the couch to sit up properly.
“Time to go get comfy?” he asked, Omega nodding with her face scrunched up.
“Feels like I can’t walk…” she stammered out through heavy breathing.
Hunter and Crosshair glanced at each other; none of their family had considered that Omega would struggle to get up the stairs whilst in labour… it was time for an impromptu plan B.
Standing up, Hunter encouraged his kid onto her feet, supporting her in the same way he had earlier in the night. Crosshair seemed to understand what he was going for because he quickly left the room and returned with a plastic bin bag and a bed sheet.
The ex-sniper made quick work of covering the wet patch with the bag and then placing a bed sheet over the couch cushions.
Omega slowly changed out of her wet pyjama trousers before she sat down heavily, leaning back on the couch.
“This is so much worse than I thought,” she ground out, making Hunter chuckle nervously as he perched next to her. She scowled at him, though it quickly turned into a whimper as another contraction hit. Distantly, Hunter heard Crosshair tapping a stopwatch to time it. She gripped Hunter’s hand once more and gritted her teeth, a determined look on her face.
“How far apart now?” the young woman asked her brother once the wave had passed. Crosshair checked the timer and grimaced.
“About five minutes,” he replied, glancing up at his sister. She nodded, reaching for her comm device.
“Time to call Lyana and AZI. Things are beginning to move along.”
——
It was not Lyana or AZI who had arrived at the house ten minutes later, but a medical droid. Upon arriving, the droid had said that both Lyanna and AZI were attending an emergency on the other side of Pabu. It then insisted on seeing Omega on her own.
“The patient will be examined and then we will discuss who is in the room for delivery,” it had stated in a monotonous voice. “Unless the father of the baby is here, of course.”
Crosshair had nearly needed holding back at the mention of ‘the father.’ Luckily, Hunter and Wrecker had caught him by the arms and gently pulled him back. The three ex-soldiers had miserably trudged upstairs and waited for news…
… the waiting, along with hearing Omega’s pained cries, was unbearable.
“Who knew having a baby hurt so much,” commented Wrecker, who was clutching Lula close and squeezing her every time he heard his little sister. Crosshair had pulled out a cigarette and lit it; Hunter didn’t even have the presence of mind to scold him. If there was a time to have a sneaky smoke, now was it. They were in Crosshair’s room anyway. It’s not like he was going to stink out Hunter’s room with smoke.
Out of the three of them, for once, Hunter looked the most calm. He was sat, concentrating on the sounds coming from downstairs. He heard the medical droid offering an injected pain killer, to which Omega said no and called it a ‘kriffing idiot.’
After an hour or so of sitting in a torturous cycle, Hunter heard a different tone to Omega’s voice. She was flagging and it was beginning to become clear.
“Is there nothing I can take orally?” he heard her ask the droid in a quiet voice. There was a pause as the droid considered this.
“An oral pain killer would not take affect in time,” it replied eventually. “You are sure you do not want me to…”
The droid did not get to finish it’s sentence as Omega let out a pained groan once more. That was when Hunter heard her say something. It was a quiet whimper, practically a whisper but it was loud enough for him to hear it.
“I just want my buir.”
Hunter wasted no time sprinting down the stairs and into the room; there, Omega lay on the couch looking sweaty and tear stained. The medical droid appeared by his side and if it could have glared, Hunter had a feeling it would be right now.
“I thought I said no to others in here,” it scolded lightly, but the ex-sergeant was having none of it.
“And I’m asking you to leave,” he snapped. “Omega’s asked for my help. I’m not going to leave her.”
He glared at the droid for a moment before it decided that it was losing this battle and began to make it’s way out of the room, grumbling about unruly patients. As it left, Hunter hollered after it, “And fetch Lyana and AZI if they’re back!”
His attentions were on Omega the second the droid was gone; she looked dazed and pained and it hurt him that there was nothing he could do to help her. He opted instead to find a cool, damp cloth and place it on her forehead. She smiled at him, her hand going to find his.
“Thank you,” she said with a huff. “That droid was beginning to wind me up.” Hunter let out a small laugh as his kid. “Beginning to?” he asked. “He was winding me up the minute he arrived.”
The pair snorted with laughter before Hunter gently kissed her forehead.
“How you feeling, ad’ika?” he asked, smoothing back some of her hair and fixing it in place with her usually bandanna.
“Sore, restless, tired,” Omega glanced down at her baby bump. “I just want this part to be over now.”
Her buir nodded, crouching down next to the couch and picking up one of her hands. He stroked his thumb over her knuckles in small, soothing circles. Seconds later she was gripping his hand and groaning as another contraction washed over her. He wrapped an arm around his daughter’s shoulders, muttering support to her as she worked her way through the pain. As it faded and she went limp in his arms she frowned.
“That one felt different,” she started, making Hunter raise an eyebrow. “And it feels a little bit like I… like I need the ‘fresher.”
Hunter didn’t begin to get time to think about what that meant before Lyana and AZI burst into the room.
“Omega!” AZI floated around in his usual panic before Lyana sent him a look.
“Hey,” Omega replied before her face crumpled once more. Hunter felt helpless as he watched her grapple with the pain. “This one feels the same,” she said more to her buir as she took steadying breaths.
Lyanna wasted no time getting to work; Hunter couldn’t quite believe that the little girl he’d met all those years ago had become a doctor. He pulled up a stool, sitting next to the couch and gripping Omega’s hand in an attempt to help her relax a little.
“I reckon you’re ready to push, ‘Mega.” Lyana’s voice was calm and soothing, everything that the young clone needed to hear. She nodded, a brave look on her face despite the raised heartbeat Hunter could hear. She glanced up at her buir, letting her mask fall for a split second. She was terrified.
Hunter moved closer to his daughter, holding her close and kissing the top of her head.
“Not long now, ad’ika,” he reassured. “Not long now.”
——
An hour.
That’s how long Omega had pushed for… an hour. She had sobbed hysterically after about forty minutes, declaring that she couldn’t do it anymore. Lyana had stepped in at that point, scolding her best friend for giving up.
“You’ve been through worse than this, Omega. You are not going to give up.”
The words of the young doctor had worked, and twenty minutes later the sounds of a wailing baby could be heard. A little girl with a small tuft of blonde hair.
More tears were shed, by Omega, by Hunter, and by Lyana. The baby was quickly taken care of thanks to AZI, and placed in the waiting arms of her mother.
“She’s perfect,” Omega had sniffled as she stoked a gentle finger against the baby’s cheek. Hunter… Hunter had gone into shock a little. He stared down at the baby, his eyes filled with happy tears for his daughter and granddaughter. He nodded mutely, not trusting himself to say anything without snivelling like a child. The pair sat together, watching this new life now asleep contentedly against her mother’s chest.
“She can probably hear your heartbeat,” Hunter muttered, having read something about babies using the heartbeat of their mothers to soothe themselves. He could relate to that, especially in the months after Tantiss.
Omega had wanted to get herself sorted out a little before seeing the rest of her family, so Lyana and AZI helped her hobble to the kitchen to change and get cleaned up; the bathroom was upstairs, and Omega had barked out a laugh when AZI had asked if she could manage the stairs.
That left Hunter, still sat on the stool next to the couch, awkwardly cradling his newborn baby bu’ad. He smiled tearfully as he watched her sleep, tuning into her heartbeat.
“Hello,” he whispered, not wanting to wake the child. In that moment, part of him ached; it ached with a regret that he hadn’t been able to hold Omega like this when she was this age, that he had missed all of the new and exciting things that this baby was going to experience… he guessed he would just have to take solace in the fact that this baby would never know the pain that Omega had at such a young age. She would never feel alone and neglected, never feel as though no one loved her, never spend nights crying herself to sleep over her trauma that she had experienced har too young.
Yes, Hunter could take solace in that.
A shuffle from the doorway caught his attention and he glanced up only to see Omega moving back into the room, clinging to Lyana’s arm whilst AZI hovered ahead. She smiled at the sight in front of her, her buir cradling his sleeping granddaughter. Moving slowly, she started to make her way back to the couch, breathing heavily and gritting her teeth. This was hard! When did walking become difficult?!
Hunter wasted no time standing and carefully passing the baby to AZI, who wanted to run some checks. He moved to Omega’s other arm and helped her back onto the couch. The young clone heaved a sigh of relief as she settled before looking over at where AZI was checking over the baby. Her buir wasted no time, moving to sit next to her on the couch.
“You okay, ‘Mega?” he asked, a touch of concern in his voice. She nodded in response, a tired smile on her face. “Can I get you anything, kid?” He kept pressing, offering her a drink and some food (which she readily accepted) and an extra cushion to help her sit up. She laughed fondly at his words, leaning her head against his shoulder. Hunter froze, stopping his nervous ramble and relaxing. He rested his cheek against the to of her head, smiling contentedly.
“I thought grandparents were supposed to fuss over the baby, not the mother,” his daughter joked tiredly. Hunter let out a small huff of laughter before looking down at his little girl.
“I’ve got to make sure my baby’s okay first,” he replied, his voice croaking.
Omega’s eyes filled with tears (again). “You never knew me when I was that little,” she commented, a touch of sadness in her voice. “I wish you had.” Hunter let out a shaky breath.
“I wish I had too, ad’ika,” he replied. “Doesn’t stop you from being my baby, though. You’ll always be my little girl.”
The woman looked up at her buir, smiling a wide smile, but before anything else could be said, AZI floated over carrying the swaddled baby carefully. She was handed to Omega, who couldn’t contain the grin (or her tears) as she held her.
“Can you go and get the others?” she asked, glancing up at Hunter after a short while. He nodded at stood, leaving the room to summon his brothers.
Minutes later, Wrecker’s loud footsteps could be heard as he, Hunter and Crosshair made their way downstairs. The ex-sergeant entered the room first, smiling at Omega before moving to sit down in an arm chair; he’d already spent a lot of time with his granddaughter, it was only fair that he took a back seat for Crosshair and Wrecker.
Wrecker had cried. So had Crosshair, though he’d been better at hiding it (or so he thought). Both had been a little scared to hold the baby, for different reasons. Wrecker had cradled her like she was going to break; it reminded Hunter of the first time Wrecker had hugged Omega. The tiny baby looked even smaller in the arms of the large clone, and it was with trembling hands that he eventually gently handed her back to her mother.
Crosshair… Crosshair had been shaking from the moment he’d been asked if he wanted to hold her. Hunter stepped forward, putting a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“What if I drop her?” he asked, gesturing to his non-existent right hand. His brother simply guided him to a seat and showed him how to position his arms before carefully taking the little girl off of Omega. Once the baby was settled in Crosshair’s arms it was like no one else in the room existed. He stared, wide eyed, down at her; for a moment Hunter thought his brother was panicking, but then a small smile broke out on the ex-sniper’s face. It was the smile that he had only reserved for Omega when he had re-joined their squad. Omega smiled knowingly; just as she had all those years ago, her daughter had captured Crosshair’s heart and had it wrapped around her little finger.
“What’s her name?” he croaked out eventually. All eyes turned to Omega, who was watching her family with a tired look on her face. She glanced around the room, her eyes settling on the tiny baby.
“Her name is Mina.”
——
The little family had spent the rest of the day (the baby had been born at eleven in the morning) in their living room, talking quietly and taking it in turns to hold Mina.
Omega had slept for quite a lot of that time, resting her head on the shoulder of whichever family member she was sat next to at that time. When the evening rolled around, Wrecker had helped her up the stairs and to her own room, where the baby’s cot had also been set up. Hunter carried Mina up to bed; Crosshair had admitted that he didn’t want to try moving with her until he was more confident. The ex-sergeant turned ba’buir hadn’t minded at all, his smile soft as he held his granddaughter close. When he arrived at Omega’s room, the door was cracked open to let him know that it was okay for him to enter.
Omega was already in bed, clearly having been tucked in by Wrecker as she was propped up against her pillows carefully.
“Can I kiss her goodnight?” she asked in a small voice, which made Hunter frown. He perched on the edge of the bed and handed Mina over. “She’s your daughter, ad’ika,” he reminded gently. “You don’t need to ask permission to hold her.” Omega laughed a little at that.
“Oh yeah,” she said as she pressed a gentle kiss against Mina’s forehead. Hunter glanced around the room to try and give the pair a little bit of privacy, tears springing to his eyes as he heard her whisper a soft “Goodnight, Mina. I love you, ik’aad.”
When he turned back, Omega was watching her buir with an amused look on her face.
“You can’t hide from me,” she laughed. “I know you’re a sentimental old man, even if you tried to hide it from me when I was younger.” Hunter plastered a false look of offence on his face, making his daughter laugh more. He took Mina from Omega, gently placing her down in the cot in the way that Lyana had shown the family earlier that day. He moved back to where his own little girl was resting, her eyes beginning to droop; she watched her daughter, a small smile on her face.
“How can you have only just met someone and love them so much it hurts?” she mused, glancing up at Hunter. Her buir grinned and perched on the edge of her bed once more.
“I…” he started, not really sure how to proceed. “I don’t really know, but that’s exactly what it was like when I met you.”
Omega’s eyes widened as she realised for the first time that the way she was feeling was exactly how Hunter must have felt.
“Just you wait until she starts dating,” the ex-sergeant went on to joke, only for Omega to send him a cold, deadpan look that made him laugh more. His daughter shuffled further under her blankets, her eyes drooping again as she settled down for the night. “I don’t think I want her to call me buir…” she mused sleepily, capturing Hunter’s attention. “That’s you. I might stick with mom…” All her buir could do was nod; there was no point in responding as his ad’ika slipped into a light sleep.
Hunter hadn’t tucked her in in a long time, but he wouldn’t pass up on the opportunity tonight. He stooped and pressed a kiss to her temple before reaching over and turning off the bedside lamp.
“Goodnight, ad’ika,” he whispered before heading towards the bedroom door.
“Goodnight, ba’buir,” came the tired, yet teasing tone of his daughter. Like he needed help feeling old. He chuckled lightly and closed the bedroom door before heading to his own room.
He was a ba’buir… Hunter hadn’t thought that it was possible for his heart to feel more full when Omega had come tumbling into it, but here he was. His heart ached in the best way and he couldn’t help but smile as he dozed off that night.
#the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb tech#tbb echo#tbb crosshair#sw tbb spoilers#sw tbb fanfic#tbb fanfiction#tbb fic#tbb#tbb season 3#hurt/comfort#emotional#pregnancy#unplanned pregnancy#good parent hunter#space dad hunter#hunter is omega’s dad#good brother crosshair#good brother wrecker
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hey GT!
this is a somewhat silly question, but as i admire your writing a lot, i thought id give it a shot.
i’ve relatively new to dramione and ao3 and writing fics in general, so i wanted to ask your experience with gaining audience, and how long this process took for you. popularity is definitely subjective, but my question is defining ao3 popularity as a dedicated readership that regularly engages with content. what is your experience with this? do you think you would write fanfics even without an audience?
Ah, yes! My experience with building a readership is as follows:
Write whatever the hell you want, and make it as weird as possible.
Try to do it good.
Get insanely lucky.
Popularity is usually an accident. It comes from random collisions of audience and art at the right place at the right time, or from someone cross-posting on a thread that happens to get a lot of views, or from someone recomending your fic to their audience. Popular creators surf the changeable waves of random networks of influence. In general, consistency helps; posting regularly tells people when to look for your work, which reminds them to return to it; the more you post, the more people see, and the more likely they are to recommend one of your pieces to others; but these are just tips, not rules. The most effective way to get people to pay attention is to write good stuff, and do it often. This is a horrible thing to say, because it seems to imply that if you don't have people paying attention, you're not writing good stuff. That's absolutely not the case. If A -> B =/= if B -> A. Writing good stuff won't make you popular automatically, but like, nothing will. What makes you popular is accidents. And consistency makes it more likely that an accident will happen to you.
When I started writing, I was fully confident that I might just have like two or three people who were really into this weird concept I'd come up with (Gryffindor Draco is not the most popular trope in the fandom, and I knew that going in!). Sometimes I glance at the stats — usually on accident, when I'm posting a new chapter — but what I really care about are people in the comments, who not only donate their time to reading my (fucking ginormous) work, but donate more of it by sitting down and typing out something kind and intelligent for the benefit of me and other readers. The fact that anyone does that, literally anyone at all, is a reason enough to keep on.
But would I keep writing fanfics without an audience? Absolutely, yeah — and I do! There are a lot of fanfics on my Drive that I haven't published, either because they're in some way unfinished/unpolished/not up to standard, or because I just don't really want to share them with anybody. Those fics have an audience of 1, and that 1 is Future Me, who gets to forget about them, come back, and find (to her delight) that an author who shares her exact preferences and style has written a fic about something she finds fascinating. That person is your first and most important reader.
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OK. Right. I've sorted my panel photos, which I'll start posting tomorrow (I won't bombard you with them all at once!), so I can get my thoughts straight about yesterday. This is going to be long; sorry! I'll divide it into two parts so that those who want to skip my wittering and just see the pics can.
I hadn't actually thought I'd ever go to a con again; my last one had been back in 2009 and they've got a hell of a lot bigger since then, which sort of puts me off as I don’t really like crowds, and living as I do right down on the south coast they're usually too far away. However, when back at the end of January an ad popped up out of the blue on my Facebook feed informing me that Paul would be appearing at Portsmouth Comic Con (less than ten miles from me) my heart skipped a beat and I started wondering whether I'd be able to go. Of course, there was nothing stopping me but I wasn't keen to go on my own, and I knew my DW-and-anything-else-related-to-scifi-fantasy-etc-hating sister would never agree.
When not long later I saw Sylvester was going to be there as well I mentioned it to my friend P (with whom I’ve attended cons in the past), lamenting that I had no one to go with and not really expecting her to suggest that she try to come down from Manchester so we could go together but to my surprise she did and so the tickets were duly booked. Fast forward to about three weeks ago, unfortunately, and things started to go - literally in this case - off the rails thanks to a driver's strike and then engineering work that meant no trains into Portsmouth for the 11th and 12th and P very reluctantly having to drop out because she wouldn't be able to get down here and back in time for work on Monday. Still wanting to go but not really wanting to do it alone I had no choice but to ask sis to come with me, which she very gamely did and I owe her. Big Time. It’s really not her thing and I know she didn't enjoy it at all. She works in town and made me stand on the outside in the queue in case she saw anyone she knew!
I had been worried about how I was going to react as I do suffer from anxiety and I've not been amongst crowds since before Covid, but much to my surprise I was completely relaxed, even when talking to the guests; I'm obviously long past my 'OMG it's Paul!' phase (thank goodness!) and instead it was a case of 'Oh, yeah, there he is, and Sylv and Sophie (a later addition, and one I'd been hoping for) too.' I don't know whether it's because they're so familiar or I just got used to actors popping in when I worked in a shop near a theatre, but it was easy and I'm so glad! The reflexology session I had in Thursday might have helped keep me calm, too; if you’re feeling tense I recommend it!
I had only previously visited the Guildhall for concerts (sis knows it better as she's had to do presentations to the city council in the past) so it was rather odd to be in there during the day. I have to say that I think they could have put aside more room for the guests as it was difficult to work out who was queuing to see who (ho ho). It was very warm and the setup also made taking photos a bit awkward with people having to dance round each other a bit. We went to see Paul first (of course), and when he clocked me in my NotD cosplay he leaned back, smiled and announced 'It's like lookin' in a mirror!' I honestly can't remember exactly what I said in response to that! Probably nothing that coherent! He asked if I'd made it myself, which gave me a neat opportunity to present the gift I'd made for him: an Eighth Doctor bear and Mr Bush bear.
I think i've wanted to make bears for Paul ever since I put together the first one nearly three years ago, but I never thought I'd get a chance so when I knew I'd be going to the con I started planning. I was originally just going to do the Doctor, and make a Seven bear for Sylvester, but as they were coming to Portsmouth I decided to do Bush as well since I can’t imagine Paul gets a lot of Hornblower-related gifts. Of course, when it was confirmed that Sophie would be there I had to make an Ace bear too and here they all are before I packed them up yesterday morning, sitting on the bags i'd also run up to put them in (not pictured, my terrible embroidery name tags to help me tell who was who):
I'll do some more detailed posts so you can see them properly another day, but I was so pleased with they way they turned out that it was really hard to give them up! At least I knew they'd be going to good homes!
When I gave Paul the bag he just looked at me in surprise and went 'Is that for me? Can I open it now?' and there was a smile on his face as soon as he saw what was inside. 'That's my career! Doctor Who and Hornblower!' He absolutely loved them, couldn't believe I'd made them and told me 'I have a room where I keep all the gifts I've been given, and these are going to take pride of place.' I couldn't wish for more than that! Well, maybe a photo of him with them but it was busy and I didn't like to ask and possibly hold things up. I hope he's found the alternative Dark Eyes outfit that I added for Eight bear as I had some fabric leftover from my jacket; the sonic for that one took a bit of ingenuity!
He asked about my costume again while we were getting into position (for want of a better term) for a photo and commented that so many people are paying someone to make their cosplays now and spending a hundreds of pounds, something I'd guess he finds quite astonishing given the incredulous look on his face when he said it. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that he likes to see what different fans have come up with; there are a lot of people who seem to be patronising Steven Ricks since Paul got his remade costume last year, which I can understand because the man is a brilliant tailor, but sometimes it must be a bit like seeing clones.
Jen took the photo and we were about to leave it there but then this strangely confident person I found inside me asked Paul a question:
‘Can I be cheeky?’
‘Sure.’
‘Can I give you a hug?’
‘Of course!’
Well, if you don’t ask, you don’t get! (says the woman who hates asking for things in shops) He gives very good hugs. 🥰
I did manage to let him go (it wasn’t easy!) and he thanked me again for the bears before we moved on to see Sophie, which involved going round to join another queue in the same small space. Confusing? Yep!
I don't know who here has met Sophie Aldred but you should because she is so, so lovely. Ace has always been one of my favourite companions and I was so pleased when I saw she would be coming. I'd already started an Ace bear with the intention of giving it to Sylvester with his, but of course that got changed and Sophie was smitten. She looked really closely at it, remarking on the little details - 'Oh, it's even got the plait. And a rucksack and baseball bat!' - and sat it proudly on the corner of her table, where I assume it stayed for some of the day. Apparently it's the best Ace bear she's ever seen - you can't get a better accolade than that! (My head was swelling somewhat by this point, by the way. I don't like to blow my own trumpet but I don't often get so many compliments, and never in such a short space of time, so i hope you can forgive me for including them.)
Last but not least, of course, there was Sylvester, which meant another queue in the same space, which was just daft as because their tables were next to each other you didn't know whether people were waiting for him or for Paul. I'm sure that could have been organised much better than it was. In the same section there were also two chaps who had somethng to do with Star Wars who weren't getting much attention at all which was a bit awkward. They haven't gone back today and I can't blame really them.
I've wanted to meet Sylv for years and he didn’t disappoint. He liked the fabric the bag was made from because its starry night pattern was similar to his waistcoat, which admittedly was why i bought it in the first place. When he got it open and saw what was inside he said 'Oh! I'm a little bear! That’s lovely!’ and when I said I'd made one for Sophie too leaned round trying to see it on Sophie's table. I half wish I'd made a set of both for each of them now but that might have been overkill, and I would have needed a rucksack of my own to transport them all; my bag was full to bursting as it was. Maybe if I see them again I’ll give Sophie a Doctor bear and Sylvester an Ace. As it stands I am so, so pleased that all three of them liked something I'd made so much, and Sylvester and Sophie were both also taken with the cartoons of the Seventh Doctor and Ace that I asked them to sign.
Phew! If you've reached the end of this, well done! I know I have tendency to ramble on and I commend your stamina! I'll put the photos in a separate post but I was one happy camper, especially as just afterwards i got another compliment on my costume and was asked to pose in the TARDIS! We didn't stay the whole day as it was hot, I'd pretty much seen what I wanted to (the Doctor Who 'exhibition' was just a few monster replicas, most of which weren't that good, unlike the really impressive experience they had last year for the 60th and which I would have loved to see. And there were no daleks! My ambition to hug a dalek sadly remains unfulfilled *sniff*) sis had developed a headache, but I'm very glad I went. 😀
#long post#my rambles#paul mcgann#sophie aldred#sylvester mccoy#portsmouth comic con#my bears#doctor who bears#doctor who
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Vergil finds a new hobby
Hobbies were a luxury, an indulgence Vergil could scarcely afford throughout his stormy existence. He was accustomed to a life of constant movement and perpetual fight for survival, each step a calculation to outmanoeuvre the demons relentlessly pursuing him. Now, however, his circumstances had drastically changed and he had to figure out how to stop and truly live. It was a strange concept, but with his brother's office as a place of sanctuary he could always return to and an abundance of free time to spare, he had to embrace just living.
Not quite sure what to make of it, he fell back on his old habit of reading. Yet, according to the members of Devil May Cry, his ‘obsession’ with books hardly qualified as a hobby; more seen as a chore or a sinister ploy to seek out power. Though some tried to encourage him to explore new hobbies, their suggestions often fell flat and failed to pique his interest.
Of all people, it was Nico who managed to recommend a compelling diversion—a DVD of a vintage painting show titled 'The Joy of Painting'. Its familiar appearance drew him in, like staring at nostalgic pieces of a bygone era he could scarcely recall from a lifetime ago. She told him to give it a shot since ‘it was all the rage back in its hay day for a reason’. Glimpsing through fragments of the show, it appeared to be a worthy time investment where his attention to detail would surely pay off.
On a day when Dante was out terrorising some unfortunate ice cream parlour for its special deal on strawberry sundaes, Vergil seized the opportunity to relax uninterrupted. After setting up the canvas and the paints, he followed Nico's instructions to play the show on the DVD player—apparently a technological upgrade to the VHS players he vaguely remembers. It felt somewhat humiliating to follow instructions that seemed to be written for a child to comprehend:
press the tiny button next to the rectangle;
place the circular thing inside the pocket that slides out;
wait till the devices figures out its head from its ass;
on the remote, use the buttons with triangles pointing up and down to select an episode on screen;
oh yeah, that sideways triangle in the middle there is the select button;
It wasn't far off from describing an infant's toy where different shapes are passed through their respective holes. ‘That's right, the square goes into the square shaped hole. Yeah! You got it!’
Perhaps, there was still hope for him as he successfully followed the instructional cookie trail, simple enough for a four-year-old to navigate, and managed to play the show on the old TV. Settling comfortably in his seat, he paid close attention to the screen. The hosts' serene attitude and passion was contagious, and the painting process itself proved to be rather soothing. Although Vergil wasn't exactly a skilled artisan, the show catered well to artists of all levels. It was something he could improve upon and, as odd as it was, he now had all the time to spare for it.
“I'm gonna wash the brush and we’ll just blend that out. As you know, we wash our brushes with odourless paint thinner and we have a lot of fun.” The host dipped the brush into a bucket on the side. “Just shake off the excess,” he lightly shook the brush, following up with a practised motion of rhythmically smacking it against the leg of the easel stand. Almost chuckling, the host said one of his signature phrases, “And beat the devil out of it.”
Vergil looked down at his brush... menacingly.
#dmc#devil may cry#RIP paintbrush#it met a swift end to its short lived life#never to be seen again#that was a lot of build up for a dad joke#why wouldn't Vergil chill out to an episode of ‘Joy of painting’#writing this was an absolute joy#Vergil may be confused but he's got the spirit#confused but motivated#me writing about technological incompetence of a character#also me: still trying to figure out how this website works dangit#nah I'm gonna one up myself#while writing this I forgot the word ‘rectangle’#so I legit looked up ‘what’s the name for square that ain't square’ and ‘name for long square’#STOP THE TAGS
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Hey Nora
I've been thinking about creating a phan blog (after almost 10 years of lurking) but cannot come up with a cool username for the life of me. Any ideas? Thx
honestly i'm probably the wrong person to ask cause i chose my username at 16 and all i did was go down a list of words starting with p cause i wanted (written) alliteration and then i was like... ok pseudophan is very funny cause its like Fake Fan/Fake Phannie/Not A Phannie/But Like I Am Obviously/He He Clever/Whatever
no but i feel like my brain is still stuck in the 2014 era of urls. like i want to recommend you [adjective][phan/dan/phil/howell/lester/etc] shit. but that's probably not the vibe anymore. you could go the classic route of just some random thing they've said at some point i guess?
although! actually. one thing about urls. if you want your url to be memorable i do recommend choosing something very specific. like doing smth like one of their names with a couple of letters changed is cool cause it looks like you've got an almost "canon" url, but it doesn't make you very memorable to people. "dqnhowell" looks cool but most people won't remember it as You. but you might not even want that so that's not necessarily an issue, just something you might want to think about
i'd offer you one of my saved urls but tumblr made me delete most of them a couple of years ago so all i've got now are phannibal, vday and interactiveintroverts. if anyone wants phannibal you can have it but i'm keeping the other two, vday cause its just way too funny to me and the ii one cause lola gave it to me cause she didn't want to hoard it herself and it doesn't rly feel like it's my url to give out. i feel like i should use it for something important one day though like that's kind of a ridiculous url to just let sit there
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today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 3: sketch 1
ed note from the future: this got long. its going mostly under a readmore for everyone's sake. and i didnt even finish sketching, just trying to explain what is going through my mind while trying to sketch. look, if i write down my process in exhausting detail people will realize im completely insane. this is a net benefit to anyone trying to interact with me in the future who thinks i can be reasoned with. community service. thank you for allowing me to post this shit lol
hmmm. giving up on the first few panels for right now. here's what i'm thinking about as i sketch this:
too many of my panels were talking heads or constantly relied on one point perspective. i have been trying to work against this for a while with mixed results. sometimes the result is so bad i have to scrap what i did and start over but sometimes it's "good enough for TV"* and i hit publish on it. no risks, no reward after all. can't get better if you don't try.
in this first panel, i have two people having a back and forth conversation through a weird magic hole in the floor/wall. maxine is laying on a couch with hole right above her head. homestar runner will demonstrate what i mean:
however, there are logistical problems with maxine that homestar runner doesnt have. maxine's right shoulder is dislocated, so she can't lay on that side, or any side that would put pressure on the joint. im realizing i don't actually know what position would be most comfortable in her situation or how she would instinctually arrange her body to avoid pain. i start looking up videos from physical therapists on how they recommend patients sleep for some ideas.
also i start looking up what women look like sleeping on couches. how does the human body fold up. because this isn't it.
anyway, this was my first effort with the first panels.
for reference, the last page ends like this:
the top left of the sketch would have been the hopi clown back on the shelf with the "camera" tilting above it to reveal maxine. while this keeps the relevant object from the previous page in frame as a piece of connective tissue between updates....i'm struggling to fit the second character in. the one talking from the hole. maybe there's still hope for this? it's not terrible. initially i nuked it but maybe i can make this work.
fuck! she needs a pillow or two to make this work. this video is right, that DOES look naturally comfortable compared to the standard fetal position that would pull the affected shoulder inward. i didn't draw any pillows into the stupid establishing shot of the office bc its not the kind of couch you are expected to sleep on!!! this is a man's business office!!! i thought i was so smart!!
basically every couch comes with decorative pillows though, and the shot of the room didn't include the wall the "camera" was up against. my 2-point perspective failure might have paid off here lol. if i can establish that the second character is talking through the hole, he can use his rayman hands to reach across the room and get the pillow for her. it can be part of his personal campaign to show maxine he means her no immediate harm. the pillows were just out of frame. lurking. ok let's try it again. uhhhh after i eat some lunch
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*my friend kelly had an anecdote from working in animation that im going to retell badly from memory. her boss would take the work she labored over to meet by deadline and would laugh at it, saying "ah, its terrible! but good enough for TV". and while extremely mean, he had a salient point: it never has to be perfect. it just needs to be good enough to be seen. sometimes i seriously think about this anecdote when im dissatisfied with my own art. it's bad. but it's good enough for tv.
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i have no idea why my french teacher kept on saying I look sad today in class, I was just tired 🧍🏽♀️
#bro kept on asking if i'm sad like HuH#i mean yeah cause i'm not passing this class but other than that i'm just tired man#like bro asked like 3-4 times in class today it just started to feel weird cause i swear people were just looking at me weird tryna see what#he was seeing#like ?????#anyway#the summer camp job i did last year that i didn't have a fun time in the second session#anyway people keep on asking be about the job#like i'll smile and nod and encourage them to apply but i'm just tired of people asking me about it#like it's just these people coming up to me only to talk about the job#like i mean yeah people only talk to me when they want something ig#rip#but the girl in my class is going to be the head person in charge of the camp this year#idk why tf people are asking me about it when she's right there#like i'm not the one recommending it she is#stop asking me#and i can't even talk about my experience cause yeah i had an amazing time working there#it's just in the second half of it there was so much miscommunication from the people in charge it got so annoying#like i didn't not have a fun time cause of this girl because she didn't even do her job properly#but it's hard to explain cause we all had different experieces working there#zhgsdslagsdklbj
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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