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letsperaltiago · 4 years

Text

one single thread of gold tied me to you

From the very first time Jake mentions her name, Karen sees a thread of gold tying him to Amy. In other words: a series of small moments in which Jake is talking to Karen about Amy.

Jake talking to Karen about Amy throughout their relationship

Read here or on AO3

The new girl

“Anything exciting happening at work?”

“Nah,” Jake halts, pausing to think between bites of the dinner Karen has prepared for the two of them. Because he’s the only child (and the fact that he’s a huge momma’s boy) he tries to stop by Karen’s once a week. Either for a quick chat and a coffee or longer. If the latter includes dinner, which it often does, then it’s always a huge plus. Tonight’s visit is one of the longer ones, much needed, and of course dinner is a must.

“Or,” he takes back his prior dismissal. “Like, this new girl joined the squad last week, so that’s… exciting, I guess?”

Karen’s head perks up letting her son know that she’s indeed listening.

“Well that’s always a good thing. What’s her name?”

By then Jake is already busy chewing on another bite of her mom’s baked potatoes - a personal favorite of his. Then again any food his mom makes is his favorite.

“Amy Santiago. She seems cool enough, I guess. Then again she just arrived so I guess I’ll have to see.”

Although the world, more specifically Jake, isn’t aware of it yet, the spinning of his and Amy’s golden thread commences its journey here. Karen smiles to herself as this, she realises, is the perfect opportunity for her to pick a bit on her son who’s never shy of teasing her. Lovingly, of course.

“Maybe she’s cool enough to date?”

The statement immediately interrupts his before eager chewing, a press on his entire body’s pause button, and earns Karen a deadpan expression as answer to her so-called proposition.

“Mom, please.”

There’s small smile on his face as he knows his mom is out to pester him. “Charles already went all Cupid on us when she arrived, so the last thing she needs is me hitting on her. Plus,” he’s back to being chewing on a mix of potatoes and meat, “I don’t even know her.”

“Well that’s just a matter of time, honey.”

Having nothing else to add he figures a shrug must be answer enough.

“Anyways,” he looks back up from his plate to his mother. “How’s Carla?”

Rivalling close friends

For her son’s birthday Karen has invited the squad over to her place for a celebratory dinner. At this point, since they’re good at dropping by if they’re ever in her neighbourhood or nearby for work, she’s familiar with most of the people Jake spends 95% of his time with - this with an exception of Amy and Holt.

They’re setting the table while Jake gives her one last quick rundown of the 99th precinct’s squad, so Karen is sure of who the different people are.

“… And Amy, besides Holt, is the last one to have joined the squad. She’s that super neat, kinda annoying one, I’ve told you about. You know, the one who tells me that I can’t eat in her car, and constantly corrects my grammar.”

“I thought you liked her?” He can’t see tell, since he’s busy setting the table, but Karen frowns finding it unlikely that her son suddenly has something against a colleague he most of the time spoke so highly of.

“I do, mom and that’s what’s so annoying. She’s the worst and best of all worlds...” He pauses in the middle of putting down a plate giving himself some time to turn over his thoughts. “… I mean, she probably is my best friend at this point, besides Charles, yanno? But please don’t tell him I said that. His little heart can’t take it.”

“Because of jealousy or because he’s dying to see you and Amy together?”

“Both,” Jake chuckles shaking his head in disbelief of the fact that he puts up with this situation daily.

Karen knows Jake’s “brother from another mother”, how the little man had introduced himself the first time she met him, very well and can’t hold back a chuckle at the very vivid mental picture of a both jealous but also over the moon Charles.

“Your secret is safe with me.”

It brings an even wider smile to his face upon seeing his mother pretending to lock her lips and throw away an invisible key. Okay, maybe his mom is his best friend, but Amy and Charles are a close second.

Sadly Amy has fallen sick and never makes it to the birthday dinner, but upon arrival Rosa hands him a pretty gift bag with a tiny card and impeccable handwriting that says: Happy birthday, Pineapples ;) Inside the bag he finds the limited edition Die Hard 2: Die Harder-poster that had smashed his heart to pieces when someone had outbidded him for it on eBay. Little had he known it was Amy, sitting just a few feet away by her desk opposite of him, who’d outdone his bid with a sly smirk on her face. A smile which she could hide behind the big computer screen.

The smile on his face is impossible to hide and he immediately sends her a text:

‘ur gift made me die hard!!! guess ur not so bad after all ;) all kidding aside thank u so much and get well soon <3’

Later that night after everyone has left, he’s helping his mom cleaning the kitchen. Suddenly she hands over a homemade doggy bag with leftovers from the dinner.

“Don’t you think sweet, sick Amy deserves this after the gift she gave you?”

Her smirk doesn’t go unnoticed.

Jake of course agrees and later, on his way home, he drops it off at Amy’s place. It being late and not wanting to wake her up, he leaves it on her doorstep and sends her a text for her to see whenever she wakes up:

‘the bag on ur doorstep is not a bomb but a care package from mother peralta. hope ur feeling better but if u dont can i have your desk at work?’

A few days later Karen texts him a picture of a beautiful thank you card with the infamous, neatly Santiago style-written message thanking her for the thoughtful gesture. Jake smiles to himself and replies with a simple: ‘shes a good 1’

Unconsciously developing feelings

He never explicitly tells her. Still, Karen has her suspicions and they only grow every time her son mentions Amy’s name. Sooner rather than later it becomes very clear to her: her son would go to great lengths for his partner - even though he isn’t ready to acknowledge it yet.

“Mom, there’s no way I’m losing my car to her. I’m gonna take her on a date and she’s going to hate it and i’m going to love it- I mean… love her misery,” he corrects himself.

Karen is leaning against the doorframe to his still unaltered childhood bedroom, where Jake is currently rummaging through boxes containing a mix of childhood memories, dust and worthless nick-nack.

“You don’t happen to still have those old pictures of me and Jenny Gildenhorn, do you? I want to find an exact replica of Jenny’s hideous blue dress to torture Amy with.”

Knowing of Jake’s repressed, yet to be realised feelings, because a mother does know best, Karen rolls her eyes. He doesn’t notice. Probably because he has his head buried under his bed looking for more boxes and childhood treasures. Telling him to look for acknowledgement of his feelings for Amy while he’s down there is almost too tempting, but Karen manages to bite her lip. Hopefully he’ll see it himself one day… Or just keep talking the way he already does about her, even when complaining; it’s always with some kind of admiration. Karen sees the little twinkles in his eyes whenever the raven haired detective is brought up in a conversation.

To Amy’s sheer luck, Karen of course has loads of childhood pictures stored in a box in the garage and she gets to sit by knowingly as Jake searches multiple internet websites for the most horrible, blue, 80s dress possible. “Oh, mom… She’s going to hate this so much. Amazing.”

She doesn’t say anything but smiles knowingly as her son sits on her couch, laptop in his lap, a boyish smile telling her that he is up to no good as he plans the (best) worst date for his “just a good friend”.

Pining

Everything seems harder at the moment. At least harder than what he’d like, Jake thinks to himself as he lies in bed, feeling tipsy from the few beers he had a Shaw’s. He knows he should just sleep but for some reason he can’t. Instead he tortures himself by staring at the ceiling which is definitely spinning - just a tiny bit though, he tries to convince himself.

He’s just come back from being undercover, and although it was kind of fun and definitely exciting in more ways than one, deep down inside he can’t deny that a tiny part of him had hoped Amy by now would give them a chance. It’s not that he’d expected her to break up with Teddy for him - it was her life to control after all. Not his. Although there was no shame in dreaming; dreaming that she’d welcome him back to the 9-9 with a slow motion run and kiss that would blow them both away, telling him that Teddy and his pilsners were out of the picture and that they belonged together; all this time they’d been destined to belong to no one else but each other.

Alas this wasn’t the case and he returned from the mafia to a:

“I’m still with Teddy.”

The short sentence plays over and over in his head like a broken record he can’t turn off. The worst soundtrack of his life - without a doubt. Suddenly his phones rings, interrupting his spiralling thoughts.

“Hi, Mom,” he mumbles not hiding the fact that he’s exhausted, physically as well as mentally, and tipsy.

“Hi, honey. How did your first day back go?”

“It was... fine. Good to see everyone.”

Good to see Amy, Karen thinks before she does a double take when she picks up on her son’s voice clearly representing a moody side of him she, or anyone, rarely gets to see.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing, It’s-” he starts out not wanting to get into it, because feelings are messy and he always ends up being the hurt one anyways… But on the other hand, he thinks, his mom will figure out either way - if she hasn’t already. Perhaps his lack of soberness also takes part in his sudden honesty.

“Amy,” he sighs.

“Is everything all right with her?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I just-” he pauses. “She’s with this guy and-”

“You wish she wasn’t?” Karen beats him to it and finishes the sentence for him.

“Yeah or- I don’t know. I want her to be happy but...” he sounds utterly defeated to a point that hints at teary, she can tell even though she can’t see him. In that moment Karen wants nothing more than hug her little boy. “I really like her, mom.”

His voice never breaks entirely but it’s a fine line he’s walking throughout the entire conversation. Everything pours out of him; he’s a book of sentimental secrets opening up about his Achilles’ heel for the first time and all his mother can do is listen as he describes his favorite parts of Amy (which is pretty much everything): everything from the way her dark ponytail swings back and forth with purpose when she walks to a crime scene to how, when they’re out drinking with the squad, she always get him a beer whenever she gets up to get herself one.

It’s almost as if the spinning of the golden thread, still unknown to the world, between him and Amy is slowly choking him.

“I want her to be happy, mom… I just-” he almost dozes off before finishing the sentence but fights through it and it’s all at once incredibly endearing and heartbreaking to Karen who’s still listening from her end of the line.

“... I just wish she would be happy with me instead.”

New couple

It’s truly unbelievable. Jake can’t believe he’s about call his mom to tell her: tell her that he’s with Amy now.

It’s been a month now; a month of him being with Amy and being so very happy he still can’t believe he’s been spending all this time not feeling like this. However, not wanting to rush things or put any pressure on either of them, simply enjoying being together, no one else but the squad knows about them.

Them. Him and Amy. A thing.

Just thinking about him and Amy that way, it almost makes him dizzy of pure disbelief. There had been so much buildup, such a long history of back and forth, bad timing, but all that aside now here they were. Amy Santiago was his girlfriend. Maybe that is the thought that causes his heart to take on a way too quick beating pattern and the hand holding his phone to become clammy. Now is the time though and he doesn’t hesitate to hit his mom’s contact. It rings. Jake can clearly hear his heart thump loudly against his ribcage. Should he be this nervous?

One time.

Two times.

Thre-

“Hi, honey,” his mom’s warm chipper voice interrupts the monotone ringing instantly making his lips spread into a small smile and heart take a break from the irrational thumping.

“Hey, mom,” he starts pacing around his apartment in attempt of diverting all the energy and emotions rushing through him, unconsciously bringing him everywhere from his bed to his kitchen.

“So it’s actually been a little while now… And I haven’t said anything since I didn’t want to rush anything but,” he cuts the sentence in two with a deep breath. “So, like… Amy and I are dating... together... her and I,” he starts rambling and wow he really should’ve written this down first. Karen doesn’t let it go on for too long though too excited to not say anything.

“Honey, I’m so so happy for you two! And it was about time that you finally told me!”

Jake’s pacing stops on the spot.

“What do you mean “finally”?”

“Oh, Jake... Sometimes I think you forget that mothers know everything. Plus you’re not very good at hiding… bruises,” she clears her throat, emphasizing what she’s really saying while imagining her son blush on his end of the line. “Also you’ve been visiting less and less, which means someone else has to take up your time.Someone who is even cooler than your very own mom, someone who makes you this gitty and nervous to talk about… It had to be her you were calling about.”

The smile in her voice is clear as day, but Jake is still baffled trying to come up with an explanation or the very least a decent answer. There is none, he quickly abandons the plan and instead lets out a happy huff.

“She’s really cool, mom. So cool. The last month has been like… the best. I don’t know how else to describe it. She’s the best.”

Compared to the defeated and heartbroken man she spoke to all those months ago, after his return from being undercover, this is a whole new version of her son that she’s longed to see. Karen can’t physically see him but can still clearly tell he’s flipped the page and is taking on a better chapter of his life.

Early relationship

It’s another night at his mom’s. Although the motivation behind the visit is a tiny bit different than usual this time. Sure, they’re gonna talk and have a nice dinner prepared by Karen as per usual, although tonight the mother has to nurse a whiny Jake who’s missing his dear but very out of town for the week-girlfriend. And the experience feels… mixed.

“Dinner is ready!”

No response.

She looks up from where she’s just carefully put down a sizzling pan to see her son back against the one arm of her armchair with his legs svung over the other. Physically he might be close but mentally he’s so far away, clearly more focused on whatever is going on on his phone’s screen.

“Jake,” she tries again but rather than giving his mother a reply Jake start typing as if nothing or noone was within miles of him. Karen can’t help but feel like she’s raising a teenager all over again, a teenager with the attention span of a goldfish, although this time her son is actually in his late 30s, lives by himself and has a girlfriend. So little yet so much has changed about him.

“Jacob,” she tries with her more more stern voice. She knows what he’s doing, texting Amy, and even though it’s cute he needs to snap out of it. At least for long enough to eat. He finally reacts and looks in her direction. Realization hits him which immediately prompts him to push himself out of the seat.

“If you stop eating you won’t even be alive to see her when she comes back.”

He deserves to be teased, he figures.

“I’m sorry. It was a text from Amy and I just wanted to reply right away. I just really miss her, I guess... and this is the closest we’ll get to talking today since she’s busy with her family, so...”

He leaves his phone behind on the coffee table, implicitly letting his mother know she’s got his (somewhat) full attention from now on.

“It’s so weird. We’ve only been together for like...” he counts in his head. “... 5 months now, but I already can’t stand being away from her for too long. Am I insane?” he drops down into his usual seat by the dinner table, almost in defeat but Karen is quick to rescue him in his moment of overdramatic despair.

“No you’re not, I assure you.”

Karen grabs his hand to stroke it comfortingly. She knows her son didn’t mean to be rude, didn’t mean to ignore her and she loves how much he’s opened up about his emotions since getting together with Amy.

“It’s a good sign that you care so much, but just remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder and it’ll feel even better when she comes back… and until then you can let your old mom entertain you.”

They share a chuckle because they both know what that means.

“Did you get ice cream?” he asks.

“Strawberry, chocolate chip and cookie dough… and to top it off: Die Hard is ready to play the second we’re done eating and doing the dishes.”

It’s a little tradition of theirs: their shared comfort snack plus movie-combo.

“You know me so well,” Jake smiles almost forgetting about missing Amy.

If not for the rest of the week then at least for a couple of hours.

Going steady

This week is a a lot different from the usual. While it’s not every single week they actually manage to see each other or even get the time to talk, Karen knows for sure that she won’t hear from her son for at least a couple of days. Jake is away on a cruise with Amy, and so besides the few pictures he’s texted her of them eating shrimp in bed (she wonders how he talked Amy into that) and a huge seagull stealing some of Amy’s fries, Karen doesn’t expect a whole lot of her son’s attention that week.

Which is why she is extremely surprised when her phone rings, her son’s picture and name displayed on her phone, in the middle of the night. Yes, the element of surprise is of course due to the fact that she knows he’s busy being away with Amy, but also much due the time at which he calls.

01:21

A mother’s undeniable fear and worry for her child never goes away, no matter how old said child is, and it now creeps in making her fear that the worst has happened. What could possibly lead him to call this late? She frantically grabs her phone from her night stand.

“Jake, it’s in the middle of the night. Is everything okay?” She doesn’t mean to come off as accusing but she’s definitely trying to get to the bottom of the mystery right away.

“I love her.”

It falls from his lips, very out of nowhere, and it’s hard to tell within what context it is to be interpreted. Interlacing with his voice is the sound of crashing waves and a strong breeze making Karen wonder where her son finds himself.

“Honey, what do you mean? Where are you?”

Maybe she should’ve understood right away, it was obvious, but not only was she sleeping just seconds ago but the background noise on his end of the line only makes the whole scene way more confusing than it already is.

He breathes, out of breath almost as if he’s been running. “I’m outside. On the deck. And I love her, mom.”

“The deck?”

“No,” he pauses catching his breath. “Amy. I told her… Or she told me first and then I told her back. Nothing has ever felt more right.”

That makes way more sense, Karen thinks although still quite unsure of exactly why he’s calling her. All that aside her heart is flooded with happiness, when she realises her son is not out of breath from running or crying, but rather all the emotions he must be feeling.

“Aw, Jake. I’m so happy for you. I know how much she means to you.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah… You’ve changed so much throughout your relationship with Amy and it’s only for the better. You were already wonderful, you’re my son after all, but she brings out so much more good in you. This was only a matter of time. I think you’ve loved her for longer than you think.”

Another silence allows the crashing waves and whistling night wind to make an appearance. Following words almost fall off his lips in a tremble but Karen can tell it’s because he’s moved and is trying to collect himself, his emotions and thoughts. This is a big step for him - she knows.

“I have. And I don’t think I wanna stop again.”

Their talk lasts a few more minutes; just long enough for Jake to explain that he couldn’t sleep, too excited about the fact that he loved Amy Santiago and, even better, she loved him! Instead of staying in bed, restless and thus risking waking up Amy, he’d carefully disentangled himself from his girlfriend’s grip and decided to go for a night stroll. Next thing he knew he was calling his mom’s number.

“I should probably go, mom. I don’t want Amy to wake up alone.”

They say their goodbyes and when Karen finally gets to meet his daughter-in-law a few weeks later, at Jake’s chaotic birthday dinner, she is even more sure: their golden thread is so very strong.

Moving in together

The first time Karen visits Jake and Amy’s apartment (the words still make his stomach twist and turn with excitement every time he says it or even thinks it), Amy is out getting groceries for the dinner they’ll all be preparing together.

Jake proudly gives his mom a full apartment tour explaining where he’s added his Peralta-touch to the household while still praising his girlfriend’s taste in interior design. She has to laugh at the huge Die Hard poster discreetly hung on the inside of their closet door. Framed pictures of the couple together hung and standing around the apartment only makes Karen’s heart melt even more.

“How are you guys liking living together so far?”

They’re in the kitchen, Jake is preparing them both a cup of coffee.

“I mean, we already took constant turns crashing at the other’s place so it doesn’t feel that brand new, but still…” he pauses to smile and pours his mother a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee before continuing. “This is so much better. We share a home now. She is officially my home now, yanno?”

“I’m proud of you, Jakey,” Karen playfully ruffles her son’s curly hair, something she rarely gets to do but still immensely enjoys every time. It reminds her of when he was still a little kid and hits her with just how far he’s become. She’s not just proud: she’s so proud.

“Plus, now I get to annoy her 24/7, which is great,” he laughs and Karen playfully pinches his ear.

“Be nice to her, Jacob,” she’s chuckling too.

“I am! Our relationship is practically built on a foundation of pestering and messing with each other. Trust me; she loves it.”

Prison

“Amy… I miss her so much.”

As if the fact that her son has been wrongly accused and is facing 15 years in prison isn’t agonizing enough, Karen also has to suffer the pain it causes her to hear her son cry out to her over the very rare phone calls they get these days.

“When I say I’m afraid of never getting out of here-” he heaves between fallen, sobbed words; sobbed words which Karen knows he tries to subdue in order to not show the other inmates weakness. But it’s hard; impossible. “It’s mostly because I’m afraid of not seeing her again. Every time she visits-,” a sniffle “I’m always afraid that it’s the last time I see her. And all I wanna do is kiss her and hold her, but i just- I can’t. I miss her so so much, mom.”

Karen’s heart breaks alongside her son’s, even hours and miles between them, tears rolling down her red cheeks. She knows she has to be strong for him, and that it’s harder for him than for herself. Denying the ache and fear in every cell of her body is impossible though… But she has to keep her head up for him.

“It’ll be okay, honey,” Karen forces herself to stop crying when she speaks and will instead let the tears fall freely whenever he can’t hear it. “The squad is doing everything they can to get you out.”

“I know... “ he takes a deep breath and Karen can tell he’s trying to collect himself for good this time. “H-how is she?”

For a split second Karen considers lying, not telling him that she’s spent multiple nights consoling a crying Amy and even sleeping over at their place when the young woman was too tired to take care of herself. She considers telling him she’s fine, but she knows it’s pointless: Jake and Amy are two open books who tell each other everything. Just like Amy knows Jake has never been more afraid and seeks hope in every second he gets to be with or even just talk to her, Jake knows Amy is struggling though she’s a trooper and tries to fight through it as seamlessly as possible.

“I visited her on Wednesday and…” Karen bites her lip but eventually a sigh escapes her. “You know how she feels... It’s hard for both of you. But she’s strong, honey and she manages. And on the days where she can’t, I’m there with her. I promise.”

Silence.

He’s holding back tears again.

“I love you both, mom. So so much. You two are what is going to get me through this.”

“I love you too, Jacob.”

Their golden thread might be strained, but now is time for it to show its strength.

Engaged

He can’t put it into words, at least not properly, because how does one describe how it feels to be the happiest man alive? How does one describe such a wide, complex, incredible range of emotions? It’s impossible.

Instead he settles for a text.

It’s truly comical but also very much them: a picture of Amy in the evidence locker, still partially crying although of course also smiling as she shows off the shiny ring on her finger. It’s followed by the message:

‘MOM, I’M MARRYING HER!!!’

Later that night, tipsy after celebrating at Shaw’s, Jake and Amy facetime Karen. It’s safe to say that she gets a good laugh at 3-drink Amy showing off her new, favorite bling while Jake is all over her, placing small kisses to various parts of her face.

“Okay, you two... I’m going to hang up before this goes beyond a PG-rating. Once again congratulations. I love you both and can’t wait to see you soon.”

Married

Bomb threats, ruined cakes and a lost veil are just a few of the things that go horribly wrong on Jake and Amy’s wedding day.

Now, a few weeks later, all these tiny disasters seem to be long forgotten, almost as if they’d never happened.

“... But in the end we’re married and that’s all that matters,” Jake finishes telling his mother the tale of their chaotic but incredibly beautiful and unique wedding which was followed by a PG-rated version of their trip to Mexico.

The three of them are taking up the space of Karen’s living room as they chat and drink their usual coffee. Jake’s arm is slung around his new wife’s shoulders, fingers interlaced with a happiness and peace that warms the mother’s heart. Compared to the anxiety and sadness they all experienced during Jake’s time in Florida and then later on in prison, this moment in time is a major contrast. It’s a moment which Karen at times had feared she’d never be able to witness ever again. Yet here they were, the three of them together in the same room and Jake looked happier than ever. He was married to the love of his life, showing off a warm glow that he could thank both happiness and the Mexican sun for.

“I’m so happy for you two. It was always meant to be this way.”

Karen beams just as much as the married couple, feeding off the pure bliss they display in each other’s company. Amy perks up at the comment growing curious.

“Always?” she questions with a smile.

“The second he told me that the new girl was “pretty cool”, I knew something was meant to happen.”

Jake feels blood rushing to his cheeks even though said new girl is now his wife.

“Aw, babe,” Amy turns to him flashing a teasing grin. Every opportunity to tease must be put to good use. “I can’t believe you’ve been into me for so long. How embarrassing for you.”

“Hey!” He whines and it’s clear to see that he’s trying to fight the blush and embarrassment alas it’s already way too late. ”Be nice to your husband, Mrs. Peralta.”

“Not my fault that you’re so into me, Mr. Peralta.”

There’s a short pause in the conversation where Jake realises there’s no way out unless he uses her own teasing ways against her.

“I’m a lucky man… I guess,” he counters playfully and it earns him a just as playful slap to the shoulder.

“You guess?”

Amy is quick to pull away although doesn’t allow their fingers to untangle while she sends him a mock-pout.

“Be nice, Jake.”

Karen loves her son but will also, at any given time, take Amy’s side before his. Jake came to learn this the second he introduced the two women and they started gossiping about him. He would care to mind if it wasn’t for the fact that there was nothing better than his two favorite women getting along so well.

“I’m joking, babe,” he loses no time and before Amy can add anything he’s pulled her back into the nook of his arm, adding a kiss the top of her head - just for good measure (and because he’s crazy about her). “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

Their golden thread has tied an everlasting knot.

Trying

Jake and Amy trying for a baby had been such a joyous announcement, and Karen will never forget the proud look on her son’s face the day he told her. Although tonight, said proud and happy expression is long gone, forgotten and dissolved by the many months of planning, trying and holding on to their hope.

Jake is once again, as so many times before, on his mother’s sand-colored couch with warm coffee in hand but this time with a look of despair painted across his pale face. While she’s been getting cookies in the kitchen he’s fallen into deep thought and doesn’t say anything for a while. Even after she comes back and sits down across from him. The silence might be needed, Karen thinks and, of course, respects it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t shake her to the core when the next thing he says seems to question every ounce of happiness he’s ever lived.

“What if all along I’ve been the wrong choice? A bad choice.”

His eyes doesn’t budge from the same spot, an old coffee stain on the couch, he’s been staring emptily at for the past minutes. Even as he speaks.

“What if she was supposed to be with someone else. Someone who can give her the family she wants… the family she deserves.”

It doesn’t even sound like a question at this point but rather a horrible fact he states in a moment of frustration and agony, and it ignites a fury within the mother because she knows it’s his anxiety and fear of abandonment speaking. She knows that their love is way bigger than that.

Things are far from easy right now. On the other hand Karen hasn’t witnessed them fight and overcome every obstacle imaginable, everything from a stupid mattress to being sent away to both Florida and prison, only to come to this. This isn’t the tip of the thread. A golden thread isn’t spun without reason. It’s spun for the fated.

“Has Amy ever made a bad choice?” she asks.

For the first time in a long time Jake actually looks at his mom. He pauses but she knows he doesn’t have to think. Karen knows that in his eyes Amy can do no wrong.

“No… I just-”

“Okay, so do you honestly think that her wanting and fighting for a baby with you is a bad choice? Even if it doesn’t come easy.”

There’s another silence, longer this time, which hopefully means that something resonates inside his head even though Karen knows it’s a dark and confusing place right now.

“No, I guess…”

“No, don’t say “you guess”. You know, Jake Peralta. You love Amy and she loves you. I know it seems like life keeps on throwing you curveballs and I wish it wasn’t so, but trust me when I say that it’s not because it’s a wrong or bad choice. You being with Amy is the best, most right doing I’ve ever witnessed, and I’m so proud of it. Stop doubting yourself. Your love is too good for that. You’re too good for that, honey.”

Her voice had started out a bit rough, just to make sure to get her point across, but by her the last sentence it has grown soft like butter and Jake can’t help but fall into his mother’s arms. He knows she’s right and it’s in moments like these that, moments where he wants to give up, he’s glad to have her to fight off his demons.

“I just want to give her everything she deserves, mom,” he mumbles into her shoulder, still holding on for dear life; so closely that Karen swears she can feel his heart breaking against her chest. “And I know I’ve been hesitant about it in the past, but now I just-”

Karen feels him let go of her and straighten his back. His eyes are shiny and there’s so much hope but also hurt in them.

“... I really want to be a dad. I really do. And then I wanna do it right.”

Karen knows what he’s hinting at and the sentiment is so valid even though she’s back together with Roger and their father-son relationship has grown stronger.

“You will be, honey. One way or another,” she whispers and reaches out to stroke his cheek. “And you will be the best. I promise you.”

Pregnant

Mother knows best, Jake can’t help but think on the magical evening Amy tells him the best thing he’s ever heard: she’s pregnant. The world seems to flourish around him like never before.

Of course the first person he wants to tell is his mom, but him and Amy quickly agree on keeping the amazing news to themselves, or at least until their baby has hit the safety that the 12-week mark comes along with.

Until then Jake and Amy plan on how to break the news to Karen (and Roger, of course) and Jake almost can’t believe it when the day finally arrives. Their 12-week check was just yesterday, and to everyone’s relief and joy their baby is growing as they should and thriving in their mother’s womb. They both shed a tear and ask for an extra set of ultrasound pictures to give to the future grandparents - both on his and Amy’s side.

During dinner with Karen and Roger the following day, Jake is on the verge of bursting, yelling out the news the very second his parents arrive. Although a humbling squeeze of the hand from his wife keeps him in check until dessert. Here the hand squeeze feels different and Jake knows now is the time.

“By the way,” Jake gets up and heads to the kitchen to get another tub of ice cream. “We have a little extra surprise for dessert…”

Roger and Karen frown in unison as both of them are yet to finish what’s already in their respective bowls. Jake ignores it and comes back with a tub of…

“Lime ice cream?” Roger asks, clearly confused by the very specific flavour.

“I didn’t even know that was a thing,” Karen chuckles, always being the one to lighten the mood.

“Well,” Jake smiles with content as he sits back down. “I promise you: you don’t wanna skip this part. It’s the best.”

And so of course Karen is quickly hands on, pulls off the lid and is ready to dig in with her spoon but halts the second she gets to take a good look at the bucket’s content: a small piece of paper. Neither her or Roger understand a thing, and being too preoccupied by their confusion they fail to notice the wide grins on the other couple’s faces.

Karen takes the leap and digs out the picture quickly noticing something scribbled onto it with neat handwriting - Amy’s, of course.

Hi, grandma and grandpa. I’m now 12 weeks old and the size of a lime! I can’t wait to meet you <3

Karen feels her heart skip a bit, maybe even stop entirely for multiple seconds and looks to Jake and Amy for some kind of approval or… she’s not even sure of what. All she’s sure of is that she’s on the brim of exploding. Her son nods biting down on his bottom lip in excitement, and when she flips the piece of paper she’s met by the most wonderful picture she’s ever seen: their future grandchild, tiny as can be, in black and white, and completely perfect.

Karen tears her eyes away from her grandchild to look at her son to be met by his almost trembling voice and shiny eyes.

“Good thing my mom was right when she told me that I would be a dad some day.”

Jake’s eyes are so sincere with tears threatening to spill as he holds his mother’s gaze talking directly to her, and it’s safe to say there’s waterfall’s worth of happy tears that evening.

Welcoming mac

The day Mac is born Jake feels as if his heart is suddenly beating and living outside of his chest in the shape of his son. There’s so much love even before their son officially arrives, but nothing can possibly top the feeling of holding him in his arms feeling the infant’s hand wraps around Jake’s thumb. Love is shooting through the roof and up to the moon. Never before has Jake felt so much love for someone’s he’s just met before and it’s scary in the best way.

He’s sitting in an armchair by Amy’s hospital bed, his wife fast asleep after the most exhausting hours of her life, when the door to their room pops open. He doesn’t even bother looking up at first as he’s too busy gazing lovingly at the bundle of love in his arms.

“Oh my goodness.”

Jake head perks up immediately recognizing the sound of his mother’s voice. By now she’s closing the door behind her, quietly.

“Hi, mom. Come say hi.”

Karen can hear his smittenness in his voice and sits down on a smaller chair next to him to better see her brand new grandson. It’s immediately clear as day that the newest Peralta is the perfect mix of both parents. Chubby cheeks, dark hair, full lips and a nose she’s gonna want to kiss over and over again.

“Meet McClane. Mac for short,” Jake informs her stroking his son’s chubby cheek.

“It’s perfect,” Karen clucks and follows suit stroking Mac’s other cheek. “He’s beautiful, honey. You must be so proud. I know I am.”

For various obvious reasons Jake has always struggled with acknowledging pride - even when he’s clearly felt it, he’s found it difficult to say it out loud or fully believe it. Today is different though and he wants to scream it from the rooftops: he’s so freaking proud of his beautiful baby son and his incredible wife.

He smiles fondly as he nods in agreement.

“I really am, mom. Proud of myself but especially of Amy. I’ll explain it further later but I Amy went into labor at the precinct, I was out helping with the blackout and almost missed the birth. I just barely got there before Mac was born and Amy managed everything like a pro. I can’t believe I’ve made a human with her. She’s the best… I’m so lucky.”

Jake looks at Karen sensing that she’s going to speak.

“I can’t imagine any other person for you than her, and together you’ve formed a beautiful little family, honey. One to be very proud of, so don’t forget to give in to that feeling, okay?”

Karen hand travels from sleeping Mac’s cheek to her son’s curly hair, on a mission to stroke it like she always would when he was a child and it prompts Jake to lean his head onto her shoulder. From his new vantage point he looks back at Mac, then Amy.

They’re his whole world, his two ends meeting and Karen can only sit by to admire the scene before her. Never has Karen felt more sure of the fact that there was always one single thread of gold tying Jake to Amy.

(And Mac).

#peraltiago #baby peraltiago #mac #fanfic #fanfiction #perlatiago fanfic #oneshot #pining #fluff #angst #happy ending #jake and amy #peralta #santiago #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #brooklyn nine-nine #taylor swift #kinda hahha

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mrsbhandari · 4 years

Text

Shutter - pt 6

a/n: THIS SHIT TOOK SO DAMN LONG AND IM SORRY ive just been dealing with people moving and going out to do stuff and having little motivation to actually write so im VERY sorry that this took years. also, this chapter is way more nsfw than my other chaps so it is of course inspired by @lxdy-starfury‘s absolutely BEAUTIFUL nsfw art so plsssssss check that out because she’s incredible. also this is the last part of this main series, who knows, if people ask or I feel like it ill write more in this au for this pairing. well see!! for now im happy to completely finish it

also I know that my masterlist is fucky rn, im looking for the time to fix it, so if you want to see a specific fic or even all my fics for a specific pairing or book, don’t hesitate to message me or send me an ask!! im happy to point yall in the right direction, and when its not a request, I usually get to asks pretty quickly so yeah!!

words: 3.7k

warnings: unwanted advances, nsfw at the endddd

tagging: @lxdy-starfury, @huntress1024, @anotherbeingsworld, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @chaotic-ramsay-queen, @brycemaloliver

Tyril was letting his PhD go to waste. He was letting it all go to waste because his brain was pouring out of his ears as his eyes took in the purely magnificent sight of Naexi in that skin tight purple dress, hugging every curve just right and accentuating her breasts with a low V neckline. The way the fabric moved with her every step was captivating, drawing his attention to every little piece of her body, tantalizingly revealed and taunting him.

“You’re going to catch flies, Tyril.” She was fumbling with her clutch, checking to make sure that her phone fit inside and then turning around to grab something else. This new angle gave him a perfect view of her backside, filling out the dress as if it was made for her. In all honesty, his sharp tuxedo had caught her eye as well, but the large field of crimson spread across his cheeks and nose was a reminder of how much better she was at holding her feelings about Tyril in. Tyril, however, could barely keep his hands to himself in her room, in the living room, in the kitchen, and on the drive over to the gala.

“Of course you own a stupidly expensive car.” Naexi ran her hands over the smooth leather seats and the crisp finish of the wood on the dashboard. The car was clean, making her feel like if she continued to touch anything, her fingerprints would forever ruin the surfaces.

“It’s a nice car.” His hand was on her thigh, covered by the fabric of the dress but no doubt covered in faded love bites meticulously placed by Tyril. She only hummed her response, briefly distracted by the way his thumb was rubbing circles on her inner thigh, spindly fingers inching toward her core as if it was magnetized. His inability to draw his hand away suggested that he was most definitely not thinking about the car. She only hummed, insistent on keeping any gratification he was giving her to herself; it only encouraged him to drag his fingers over the apex of her thighs, her core only separated from his fingertips by two flimsy pieces of fabric.

“You better not crash it,” she teased, still stoic. Quickly, Tyril figured out that continuing his current path was only going to hurt him in the long run, so he ran a finger back down to her knee as they arrived at the large hall his father had booked for the gala. He knew that this night was already going to be one of schmoozing and torture, but he still barely looked forward to it since he knew Naexi would be at his side.

“Hey, elf boy!” a voice called to his left as he gave his keys to the valet with a hefty tip. Naexi turned and was met with a man a few inches shorter than her with wavy brown hair and a smile that betrayed that he was up to no good.

“I told you not to call me that, you rogue,” Tyril grumbled, begrudgingly clasping hands with the man and patting his back as he was pulled into a hug.

“You can’t just say that people think you’re an elf in an interview and then expect not to be called elf boy,” he reasoned, sending a wink Naexi’s way. “I’m Mal Volari, and you’re gorgeous.” He gently took her hand in his and pressed his lips to the back of it, never breaking eye contact.

“Mal…” Tyril cautioned, palm spreading protectively over his girlfriend’s side.

“Don’t worry, Ty.” She tamely ran her fingers through the hair that fell so gracefully over his ears, hiding the blush that had started to touch the barely pointed tops of them. Mal smiled knowingly. “I’m Naexi, Tyril’s date.”

“I’ve heard much about you.” They began walking into the gala, all gold finishing and sparkling diamonds adorning the necks and hands of New York’s elite, and Naexi couldn’t help but feel completely out of place. Mal rambled on at her side, so she took advantage of his distraction to whisper to Tyril, who already looked bored.

“This is weird.”

“Indeed,” he murmured, his deep baritone accompanying the words quite nicely. Already, people were beginning to stare as they made the rounds, hopping from rich group to rich group. Mal had abandoned them to camp at the open bar.

“Why do people look at me like that?”

“I apologize, it’s my fault. I’ve not had a date to one of these things in quite some time.” They had sat at one of the tables, a glass of champagne in each of their hands as they took a break from socializing.

“Ah, yes; the elusive bachelor Tyril Starfury.” She threw her hand out in the air to indicate a headline. He smiled.

“I don’t know how I ever got through one of these things without you.”

“Mal never helped? Or Imtura?”

“Imtura always takes her job as security seriously and Mal enjoys the expensive champagne my father orders.” Tyril nodded his head at where his friend was gesturing wildly, no doubt telling a story of his travels to a handsome man with a starry look in his eyes. “As well as the company these events attract.”

“Will I get to meet your father?” The question threw Tyril off his balance, but he quickly recovered.

“Well, he usually finds me along with my sister so--”

“Big brother!” Two pale arms wrapped around Tyril’s shoulders and squeezed, holding him close. His eyes lit up as the woman behind him kissed his cheek. “Staying as asocial as always, I see.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Not for your company, no.” The woman’s eyes flicked to Naexi’s, as piercing as her brother’s but leagues warmer. “You’re Naexi? I’ve seen your work. You’re very good.”

She smiled as she responded. “Really? That means so much, thank you. You must be Adrina.” She stuck her hand out, but exclaimed a small “oh!” when Adrina pulled her up from the chair to give her a hug.

“Everyone’s here for my father, so I’m allowed to break stuffy old etiquette.” Her laugh was light and airy, like a sweet breeze on a summer day. A man with Tyril’s pale skin and dark hair appeared behind her, posture straight and face neutral. Tyril stood quickly, taking his place in front of his father and next to Naexi.

“Hello, Father.”

“Tyril! I’m glad to see that you found a date in time.” His tone was one of pride that barely hid the small element of surprise.

“Yes, this is Naexi.” The feeling of Tyril’s warm grip on her waist was already enough to make her knees buckle, but she forced herself to stay upright to shake his father’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you. Your gala is truly beautiful.”

“What else do we ever expect from the famed Valir Starfury?” a smooth voice sounded from her right, and her head quickly swiveled to see who it belonged to. The man’s smile was friendly and inviting, but upon closer inspection, the feeling never reached his eyes. His mop of curly hair was perfectly styled to make him look boyish, but with the way Tyril’s grip tightened ever-so-slightly, Naexi knew something was off.

“Aerin.”

“Tyril, is that how you greet an old friend?” Aerin laughed, sloshing his champagne in its glass. He turned a predatory gaze on her. “It’s been a while since you’ve had a date, Ty.” The man next to her stood completely still, his eyes narrowed. “Who was the last...Kaya?”

“And your point?” Tyril’s response was sharp enough to make Adrina take the smallest step toward him. Aerin continued to stare at Naexi while addressing Tyril.

“You sure know how to pick them, hm? You have a keen eye for beauty.” Aerin winked, but it made Naexi’s heart flutter and skin crawl. She shifted in her heels, ignoring the pain in her feet. There was palpable tension in the air between the five of them, suffocating and humid. Naexi racked her brain to find some way to cut it.

“I have to use the restroom.” The statement came off far louder than she intended, but it still did the trick. Aerin blinked, taken aback by her exclamation, and Adrina surged forward to take hold of her wrist, pulling her away from her brother and through the crowd of high rollers.

“I’ll take you!” Adrina said, hoping that the men would get the hint. As soon as they were out of earshot, she let out a sigh. “Thank goodness you got us out of that one. I’ve never been more grateful for girl code.”

“Who was that? He was charming but…”

“Sleazy? Yeah, you’re not the only one. That’s Aerin Valleros, heir to WhiteTower Corporations. He acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but he’s been in more scandals than I can count.” Adrina visibly shuddered. “He’s creepy.”

“Didn’t he assault his brother or something?” Naexi asked, remembering the name popping up in one of the numerous headlines Nia sent her a while back.

“Yup, they fought over who was going to take over the company. Beat him so bad that his brother stepped down.”

“Holy shit.” They had reached a wall next to the opening for the bathroom, so they stood outside and leaned against it to talk. “Everyone here is insane.”

“Yeah, I feel kind of bad for leaving Tyril with him.”

“What’s their beef?” Adrina sent a wide-eyed glance to Naexi.

“People really say that?” She let out a delighted laugh. “I love that! Anyway, Tyril used to be engaged to this girl Kaya, but she cheated on him with Aerin and they planned to take over the Starfury company together.” She grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing tray and took a long sip. “But then her assistant leaked information to the press and she disappeared.”

“Do you guys live in a Lifetime movie?”

“Pretty much,” Adrina sighed, seemingly searching for someone in the crowd in front of them.

“Did you come here with a date?” Adrina hummed her answer and Naexi gently nudged her bare arm. “Go find them. I’ll be fine here.”

“You sure?”

“Go on!” Naexi waved her hands to shoo her off and leaned back against the wall to sip her champagne. Just as she was about to go find Tyril, a sultry voice and a large hand on her forearm held her in place.

“Hello.” Aerin was polite, but kept his hand on her. She felt goosebumps rise along the back of her neck and Adrina’s explanation of who he was repeated in her mind.

“Hi.”

“I apologize for the uncomfortable situation earlier. I’m afraid Tyril and I aren’t on the best of terms.” He seemed genuinely concerned, and for the briefest second, Naexi felt her guard fall.

“Should I be the one you’re apologizing to?” Her champagne barely stayed in her glass as he slammed his hand onto the wall behind her, bringing his face close to hers and smirking when she backed up to the hard surface. No one around her seemed to notice.

“You’re quick. It’s attractive. Do you think I’m attractive?”

“Trapping a woman because you can’t get her to come to you isn’t attractive,” Naexi drawled, keeping her gaze locked on his. He was simmering and dangerous; one wrong move could make him boil over, but she figured that he had more to lose than a random photographer here as a plus-one.

“What does Tyril have that I don’t?” At this, his breath cascaded over her face, and she didn’t know what he had been drinking all night, but it certainly wasn’t the expensive, barely alcoholic bubbles that were being passed around.

“Better alcohol tolerance, for one.” She winced as he laughed.

“Funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke.” Before she could speak again, Aerin gave a yelp as his tuxedo was yanked back, making him stumble into Tyril, who caught him easily.

“It’s time for you to leave, Aerin.” People were finally beginning to stare as Tyril walked Aerin out, who was mumbling about his kingdom. Naexi followed, easily hailing a taxi and pushing the drunk man into the back seat with a purposeful shove. The night was cold, and she turned to walk back inside when she felt a tug on her wrist. Looking back, she saw Tyril with his cold, slender fingers against her skin. “I don’t want to go back in.”

“Wanna head to your place?”

“Desperately,” he breathed, pulling her close to him and handing his ticket and a tip to the valet. His hand was wrapped around her waist exactly how it had been for the entire night, but this time felt different. His hands were always cold, but his touch was burning with a promise, which he kept as soon as they shut the door to his apartment.

His kisses were always encompassing, as if he captured every atom of her being between the seam of his lips, his teeth grazing every thought in her mind and his fingers brushing her soul. His movements were deliberate as he walked her backwards to his bedroom, slipping her dress off and letting it pool on the floor next to the sleek coffee table. She was more hurried, eagerly tugging his jacket off and tossing it in the hallway. Finally, they reached his room, vast and cold but slowly thawing. A well-placed kiss to his now-exposed collarbone had him gasping.

“Please…” he breathed, falling back onto the bed by himself as she stayed standing above him. She looked down on him, studying the way his chest rose and fell so quickly and the way his lips were ever-so-slightly parted, caught in the guarantee of pleasure that was soon to come. He gazed at her as if she was the only person left for him in the world.

He made her believe it.

“Tell me what you want, Tyril.” His words seemed to get caught in his throat as she, bare and only clad in a thin pair of black panties, got onto her knees on the bed and straddled him, already moving to unbutton his fancy shirt and pants. She could feel him hardening beneath her and gave an experimental grind, pulling out a low moan from his chest. His hands were loosely placed on her hips, but they traveled down to stroke her thighs.

“Please,” he repeated, sitting up to shrug off his shirt and unintentionally hitting his forehead on her collarbone.

“What, baby?” she asked, picking his head up and tilting his face to look up at her above him. His eyes were nearly shut and his lips were swollen, and she gave him a small simper. “Use your words.”

“I…” he trailed off, struggling to voice it. “I want you to suck my cock, Naexi.” She pressed a kiss to his lips and climbed off him, pulling him up to stand and kneeling in front of him. His hands immediately found her hair, tangling in the long locks as she pulled his pants down and fished his cock out of his fancy boxers. He opened his mouth to say something, but all thought left his mind as she wrapped her lips around his head and sucked, flicking her tongue around the tip. “Ah!” he yelped, eyes rolling back as his hand tightened in her hair. She briefly took her mouth away and settled for just her lips against him, and he whined in displeasure. “P-please--ooh--don’t tease me…” She took him in deeper until he teased the back of her throat, and he risked a glance down at her.

Naexi was looking directly into his eyes, studying his reaction and flicking her tongue accordingly. The sight of her green eyes brimming with tears as she took him was nearly enough to make him come, and she sensed it in the slight scratch of his fingernails against her scalp.

“You take my cock so well, Naexi,” he breathed, and she moaned around him. Letting out a shaky breath, he tapped once against her head. “I’m so close.” Instead of pulling away, she pushed his cock further down her throat and ran her tongue along a prominent vein along the underside of his shaft, pushing him over the edge. He let out a long groan as she swallowed him down, running her hands up and down his sides to both soothe him and keep him from stumbling. She stood and gave him a bright smile, raising herself to her tiptoes (even though she didn’t need to) and pressing her lips to his. He eagerly returned the favor, pulling away only to allow his lips to burn a path down her throat. He reached her collarbone, but stopped suddenly with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Everything okay?” Naexi asked, searching his face in concern.

“You--” Tyril started, but stopped, pursing his lips in disapproval. “You smell like him.”

“Aerin?” Her head was cocked, but her eyes widened when his own darkened.

His voice was low and made her heart race. “Don’t say his name.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, casting her eyes downward and fiddling with her hands. Sighing, he nuzzled the crook of her neck, placing kisses and small bites on the flesh he found there.

“No, it’s my fault. I should’ve been more careful with him. He sees a beautiful woman and loses all ability to think.” His hands flew to her hips to pull her closer to him when she gasped at his teeth on her skin. “The fact that you’re mine only made him crazier.”

“Yours?” She reached under his chin to bring his face up to hers, glancing down at his lips and then back up at his eyes.

“I’m--I meant you were my date, not mine, you’re not property--I just meant--” he stammered, taking a step back before realizing that the bed was close behind him. He lost his balance, falling back against the bed with a loud cry and frowning when Naexi snorted, barely containing her laughter at him. Instead of tugging him back up, she climbed on top of him again, letting her hair fall into his face as she looked down at how pretty his own locks were splayed out against the bed.

“Don’t worry, Ty, I like it.”

“You do?”

“I like being yours…” She pressed a kiss to the right side of his neck. “...and only yours…” She switched to his left. “No one else’s.” She placed a final kiss to his lips, one that he prolonged as he followed her when she tried to break it. “So greedy.”

“I can’t help it,” he breathed, giving a small squeeze to her hips. “I hated watching him put his hands on you.”

“Then how about you put your hands on me?” He smirked as she yelped at his quick movement to flip them over, pinning her to the bed by her wrists. Tyril immediately released her and ran his fingertips down her arms and stopped at her breasts, electing to switch to his mouth. With his left hand, he kneaded her flesh in his palm and took her right nipple in between his lips, flicking his tongue to mirror her movements from when she deepthroated him. His right hand continued downward until his index finger was circling her clit and entering her easily with the help of her own arousal. “Yes!” she gasped, back arching to push her body even closer to his. His finger pumped in and out of her, curling every so often and making him smile as she moaned louder and louder the closer she got to climax. He rushed the process by adding his middle finger and curling, hitting her sweet spot inside while rubbing her clit with his thumb.

“Come on, Naexi, let go for me.” She responded with a wail as she came, hands clutching the sheets and legs shaking. He continued to move his fingers even after she recovered, but leaned down to whisper softly in her ear.

“Would you like more?”

“Fuck, Tyril, yes. Just fuck me,” she begged, eyes barely able to stay open to look at his grin. He raised to his knees on the bed and looked down at her for a brief moment before entering her, admiring the way her skin shone with sweat and the way her flesh was blemished with the marks he had placed there. Naexi, in all her glory, was his.

“All mine,” he whispered before thrusting and gasping at how perfectly her heat enveloped him. He buried himself inside her, allowing her a few seconds to get used to his size. Finally, the legs she instinctively wrapped around him squeezed his waist, getting him to pull out of her again before slamming back in with a loud moan.

“Tyril!” she screamed, thankful for the lack of neighbors in his penthouse apartment. “Faster, please!” she pleaded, green locking with blue as she met him thrust for thrust, clenching around his cock and grabbing the wrists that connected to the hands clutching her waist. He picked up his pace, moaning all the while, and felt his stomach already coiling, a tell-tale sign of how close he was. She let out a small cry as he hit her sensitive spot and brought his thumb down to rub around her clit, unexpectedly throwing her over the edge. “Don’t stop, Tyril!” He heeded her instruction, and at the feeling of her juices coating his cock, followed her to his own peak, releasing himself inside her. Her eyes blinked slowly, as if finally coming back to her senses minutes after he pulled out and retrieved a warm washcloth to clean her up. Sitting up, she followed him to the bathroom, rubbing at his shoulders as he began to draw a bath.

“Did you...enjoy the gala?” he asked awkwardly, frowning when she laughed.

“After that mind-blowing sex, that’s what you’re going to say.” She poked his cheek and then kissed the small, red spot. “You’re too adorable.”

“...It was mind-blowing?”

“You’re turning into Mal.” His eyes bulged and he exaggerated a shudder.

“Oh no.”

“But yes, it was mind-blowing.” Her lips found his easily, but she pulled away again when she felt a smile against them. “What are you smiling at?”

“I’m just happy that now I can have mind-blowing sex with you all the time now.”

“How romantic.”

#choices tyril #tyril starfury #tyril #tyril x mc #choices #blades of light and shadow #choices blades #blades au #blades #n*fw #fanfic

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another-sonic-blog · 4 years

Text

Stages: Amy’s Day

Stages: Intimate Friends Pt. 4: Amy’s Day (Chapter 17)

Synopsis so far: After Maria left Shadow, Amy finally came to the realization that she has stronger feelings than she expected for the black and red one. However, Shadow doesn’t seem to have the same feelings for her. After sharing an intimate moment together, Shadow is afraid that Amy might leave him as well. He avoids her but after almost losing Mia (a young hedgehog girl that reminds Shadow of the old Amy) in a mission, he has come to the realization that he can’t imagine his life without his best friend, Amy.

What would happen to the couple? Let’s find out.

2k 400

Previous: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/190952362000/stages-shadows-day

Amy was at her new job. She was accepted as a sewer assistant, the pay was better than on her previous job. However, it was way more exhausting.

Her hands had stitches in them and even when she was wearing her globes she could she red coming out from her open wounds.

Amy kept using her sewing machine, she was fixing an old G.U.N. jacket. A black wolf had come by and dropped it. She couldn't avoid it, her mind went directly towards Shadow.

It has been three weeks since they have talked. No text messages, no meetings, nothing.

Amy had tried. She had gone to G.U.N. headquarters but Shadow denied to see her, saying that 'he was too busy at the moment.' She texted him, but no answer.

She even saw him on the street from her way back home and waved at him.

But he only pretended not to see her and walked the other way.

She stopped trying after that and focused on her new job.

Amy paid attention to the old black jacket. It wasn't like the other G.U.N jackets she had seen before. This one looked old, the leather was worn and it was bigger in the shoulder area. This jacket wasn't made for Mobians but humans. Nowadays, it was strange to see humans around, but there were some. Most of them were for here for political reasons.

Main example, G.U.N's top Commander.

Amy's mind began to drift towards Shadow again. What was he doing? Was he alright? Was he eating well?

Amy sighed, maybe it was better this way.

She wanted to stop loving him, and maybe the best way to do that is to have a break.

A lot was going around outside. Music, people laughing and parade carts going by the Main Street of Central City.

Of course, there were a lot of people. Princess Sally of Acorn Kingdom was here for the Star Festival.

Amy really admired her. The Princess led a revolution when she was only 15 and has led her kingdom to greatness since then. Even Sonic had admitted to having a crush on the young princess a long time ago, although he had only met her once.

Amy really wished she could see her. However, her job was tying her down. Not like she minds too much.

Ms. Lucy, her boss was kind. She had arthritis and due to it, she stopped sewing. She could only design clothes and Amy will make them. Ms. Lucy was an old grey rabbit, blue eyes and small. Really adorable. She owned the sewing store that focused on clothing reparations but the shop was also known for her clothing designs.

Amy looked outside the store's window, hoping that someone way or another she could be able to see beyond the people who were blocking her sight.

She paid attention to the jacket again as she finished giving the final touches.

A beautiful jacket indeed.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Amy stood up quickly from her seat. She recognized that sound anywhere. Gunshots.

People began to panic. It was only three shots and that was all it took. Ms. Lucy wasn't in the shop for the day and Amy had the responsibility to look after it.

Amy put all of her things away. Dresses, sewing machines, treats, and everything at a high cost.

BOOM!

For a moment, Amy had forgotten where she was. She opened her eyes and it was all dust and falling boulders. Amy could the outside of the shop now. Half of the store was completely destroyed. The bomb was a strong one and Amy flew to the wall, her back impacting on it. The moment she fell down, she had passed out.

She was lucky, she didn't break anything but she definitely had wounds and scratches. Amy had dust all over her and her clothes were teared up but she didn't care at the moment. She slowly stood up, her right ankle failing her.

She had probably sprained it.

Amy cough up multiple times before finally being able to get out to Main Street.

She got to work. Amy tried to help as much as she could. People were still panicking. They were running and kids were crying. She helped them find their mothers. Amy used her hammer to destroyed some boulders to free people that were trapped in the buildings that were bombed.

She coughs up again, this time stronger and louder. Her lungs could only take so much.

After making sure that there weren't more people in trouble, she went back to the sewing shop.

She entered the half-destroyed building and looked for the client's clothes that they left for repair. Amy looked behind the counter, the clothes were dirty and some of them were torn apart.

Ah, more work.

Amy grabbed as many garments as she could. She was about to walk out when suddenly, boulders fell from the top of the building. Although she wasn't as hurt as she expected to be. She was trapped. Rocks surrender her and normally she would be able to use her strength to move them. However, she was extremely weak now. She was wounded and it was a tight space and Amy began to panic.

She was getting out of breath, she felt her muscles tense and she couldn't see anything.

Everything was dark.

And she began to scream.

"Is this how I am going to die?"

She thought, and she begged for help until her last breath.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Amy slowly opened her eyes. She recognized the smell.

Hospital smell.

It was dark outside and Amy looked to her right side. An oxygen tank next to her and a small standing screen showing her heartbeats.

Oh, Chaos, how much is this going to cost?

"Finally awake sleepy head?"

Amy turned her left and there was her hero.

Sonic the Hedgehog.

"You saved me?" She asked, giving him a weak smile.

"Of course, who else?" Sonic smiled, he was seating on a chair next to Amy's bed. Amy immediately knew that there was something that Sonic was hiding from her. He was holding his hands, fingers intertwined and he tapped his right foot impatiently.

"Just tell me what it is already," said Amy.

Sonic hesitated, he knew Amy was strong. However, he also knew that what he was about to tell Amy was something that might break her.

But it will be worse if she finds out in another way.

"To start ... no one was in the building, so there were no casualties." Sonic added, "I am so sorry Amy ..."

Sonic made a pause, still doubting himself. Amy at watching that there was no reaction coming from him, spoke up.

"What happened? You are scaring me just tell me."

"The Resistance ...There was a fire ... and it burned down."

Sonic thought Amy had taken the news very well. However, he should have known better than to keep an eye on her the moment she asked him to bring her a glass of water.

When he came back with it, she was gone.

And now, he was running to the Resistance's HQ. He got there fast and was surprised to see how quickly Amy got there as well.

There was nothing left of the Resistance. Only ashes, black dark ashes.

And the pink one in the middle of them.

Sonic was never a big fan of the Resistance. However, he appreciated and admired every member who was or is a part of it. Only a few things reminded. a few furniture and walls that luckily reminded.

He kept the details for himself. He didn't want to tell Amy that this wasn't an accident. Amy was always precautions and something like 'leaving the stove on' type of accident didn't exist for her.

Someone did this. Someone who was able to get inside the Resistance without the alarms going on. A smart person who fooled the few agents that were inside and one way or another made them get out of the building.

Did Amy had enemies? And if she did ... why attack now?

Sonic walked up to her. No word could describe his feelings at the moment. His heartaches and it was difficult for him to breathe. Sonic bent down as he touched Amy's shoulder but she immediately shrugs him off.

Sonic tried again.

"It's not safe here ... we should -"

Amy turned her head and looked at him. She was still covered in dust from the bombing, her hair a mess, her eyes red from crying.

Strong winds were coming from all sides making the ashes revolve around them.

"Stop pretending that you care ... just leave."

Hurt, pain, disappointment, anger, sorrow, regret. So many feelings but one overtook Sonic.

Helplessness.

"Amy ... I do care."

"YOU FUCKING LEFT ME! YOU AND TAILS, KNUCKLES AND CREAM! EVERYONE WANTED TO ME TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, TO GIVE UP ON IT! YOU MUST BE HAPPY THAT IT'S FINALLY GONE!" Amy turned her whole body as she pointed at Sonic with her finger. Accusing him as if all of this was his fault. Tears rolled down her eyes, remembering how every one of her friends left.

Sonic quickly grabbed her hand. Letting his feelings show, just for a moment.

"YES! I FUCKING AM, AMY! I HATE THIS PLACE SO MUCH BECAUSE IT REMINDED ME OF THE PEOPLE I COULDN'T SAVE! OF THE PEOPLE WHO DEPENDED ON ME AND I FAILED! IT'S FUCKING TORTURE FOR ME!"

They stood quiet for a few seconds, green eyes intensely looking at each other. Amy was so entranced in her world that she had forgotten how much Sonic and her friends had gone through.

Sonic was tortured for six months but she was sure that that didn't compare to the deaths he caused due to his absence.

Of course, Amy will never think like that ... but Sonic will think the worse of himself.

The Resistance was a place of many good memories and ... terrible ones. Members of the Resistance died there, and must of them had a big appreciation for Sonic. He was there for each of them but it wasn't enough.

And for each one of them ... Sonic blamed himself and more.

"Don't you think ... don't you think it tortures me too? That's why I want the Resistance so much." Amy whispered as her voice broke. " ... Because that way their memory will keep on. It's the only way to prove ... that they didn't die in vain."

Sonic expression softens, he knew that perfectly well and her feelings were valid. He grabbed her hand softly this time, caressing it.

"They died so people could have a better future ... If you are happy, they didn't die in vain."

Sonic saw Amy's face turn into grief. She cried disconsolately and Sonic hugged her, giving her comfort.

"It's time to move on ..." He whispered.

A few minutes passed, and Sonic watched Amy let out her feelings.

He knew that it wasn't the right moment. But his heart was telling him otherwise. He didn't need a response, he just needed to put it out, so his heart and soul can be at ease.

"I love you."

Sonic said and it came out almost like a whisper.

However, Amy heart every single letter of it.

"You don't have to say anything. I can wait. But I just wanted to let you know." said Sonic.

Sonic still held her tight, afraid that if he lets go, she would lose her.

But he knew that he had lost her a long time ago.

"I know that you like Shadow ... love him even." Sonic felt Amy tense up by that but he moved her away just a little to be able to make eye contact.

"Sonic, I-" Amy began but he interrupted her.

"You don't have to say anything. The way you look at him ... It was the same way you used to look at me." Sonic added with a sour smile. "It hurts actually, hehe."

"I am sorry ... believe me, I don't want to love him." Amy held his face with her hands as if pleading for forgiveness. "I want my heart to stop but I can't. I would do anything ... anything to love you again."

"Then ... use me."

Amy gulped, as she slowly puts her hands away from his face but Sonic was quick to grab her left hand and place it back on his cheek, missing her touch.

"I don't care if you use me to forget Shadow," said Sonic. "I messed up a lot with you ... and if you give me the honor to be with you ... I will try my best every day to make you fall in love with me again."

There were many things Amy was unsure of. But there was one thing she knew for sure.

Sonic was here now ... and Shadow wasn't.

"Even if it hurts you?" Amy asked.

"Yes," Sonic responded.

"Even if I decide to keep on loving him?"

"Yes."

"Even if I can't love you anymore?"

"Even if you can't love me anymore. Even if you decide to be with someone else." Sonic softly kissed her hand and looked at her in the eyes. "Because I know that I am not worthy of you ... I'll be happy as long as you are happy."

The moonlight shone in Amy's green emerald eyes and Sonic got lost in them again. Her crying made her nose and cheeks have a red tint, making her almost look ethereal.

She was a fallen angel in Sonic's eyes. With all of her imperfections, with all of her quirks ... Sonic loved each one of them.

"If you do that much then ..." Amy took a deep breath and sighed. "I promise that I will try my best to love again."

Sonic smiled, his heart was warm. That was more than what he could ask for.

And in the ashes of destruction, a new love was blooming.

Sonic gave her a small kiss on her forehead, letting his feelings be known.

"And I promise to keep on loving you no matter what."

A/N: It's 3:21 AM. Sonic and Amy are together now, how will Shadow react to the news? Who is this villain? We will find out next year. Goodbye.

Next: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/611417758901714944/stages-what-is-it

#shadamy fanfiction #shadamy #shadamy au #shadowxamy #shadow x amy #shadow and amy #shadow the hedgehog #Amy Rose #amyrose #sonic fanfiction #sonic fanfic #shadow #sonic

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 5 years

Text

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Iceland to Eurovision with a plan to end capitalism... with cakes!

youtube

Meanwhile, in Iceland...

Iceland’s a peaceful nation, innit? So calm, so serene, they wouldn’t even want to squish a fly and would rather wish it a nice day if they were personified as a whole. Except that they’re actually not quite and firstly reacted rather massively negatively on the news of Israel going up for to host Eurovision 2019, even with 23,000 Icelanders signing a petition calling on the Icelandic national broadcaster to boycott the contest, and even the big Söngvakeppnin 2017 darling Daði Freyr signed it. I admire their courage but broadcasters are broadcasters and if they take proverbial decisions and later are fine with everything, I don’t see why wouldn’t try participating anyways, and THEN withdraw if there are issues with something, like last minute call from EBU to get their shit together with funding or a faulty national final contract...

Well, fuck your protests, RÚV said, and went ahead with another Söngvakeppnin edition in the works.

And boy I assume the protest was large af if only 10 entries ended up being chosen for the final cut... what was Iceland gonna do? Have 4 finalists in total? Well no, someone was gonna get a wildcard to round up the finalists in the end.

But enough about that. Out of all of those 10 acts, full of mostly okay songs, we saw a clear win for the ones and only - it's the anti-capitalist award winning techno BDSM bondage unicorn soft boy couple goals kids loving sprinkles and rainbows performance art project group Hatari that went and enjoyed their time in Tel Aviv already, with their kick-ass song, "Hatrið mun sigra".

And oh boy was it an exciting pick for Iceland. Do you remember their last year's entry? Well, this year Iceland decided to shit all over their love and peace mindset by presenting us with series of bold statements like "Life is meaningless!", "Happiness comes to an end!", "Europe will crumble!"... right after the year they were all about the choice we could make to help and to heal in different ways. Feels though as if we should have swapped the entries because with "Hatrið mun sigra"'s events coming to life, "Our Choice" sounds like an aftermath because with happiness ending, so are people's stabilities, and too many would indeed be dying in vain. And how the world is starting to learn all over again about the acceptance of one another, and all that. It truly is Ari in the streets and Hatari in the sheets. ;)

Let's take a minute to appreciate the entry itself though. It opens up with eerie buzzes, off-measure beat and a warning "huh!" shout, that leads us all into this beautiful musical kingdom. Its instrumental is badass. It's one hypnotic techno tune that could easily be used in a car commercial. Or a catwalk. Or a glorious boss fight in an 8 bit game. What makes it more unique is the vocal balance - Hatari's core force are the two cousins Matthías and Klemens, who created the band and recruited their friends to help them on tours I suppose, and now the friends are here with them in Tel Aviv. The thing that makes it somewhat eyebrow raising, despite being a damn fine techno piece, is the instant screaming of the lyrics in the verses (courtesy of Matthías) and the light angel-esque vocal sound that's kinda reminiscent of Sigur Rós's Jónsi (courtesy of Klemens). Yin-yang if you will. A subtle balance of the two, and even the Icelandic meme mother Morges pointed it out that if it were only Matthías's growls on the song or Klemens's falsetto, it would sound too much and people would be bored by it.

Other than this song being perfectly composed (even with including a god damn keychange) and making me wanna dance, there's an image tying it all together. I did say it earlier that one part of Hatari's many descriptions is BDSM and bondage. And this definitely is there on their imagery, especially on the Icelandic NF. The boxes, the choreography, the color red, the backgrounds... everything on here is life. The way Matthías gets one of the Hatari dancers by the neck at the very end of their NF performance is just... unexplainably flawless. Go watch it here.

Some might say that this whole thing is more reminiscent of AWS from last year, but this isn't quite true. AWS were simple boys with nothing much in mind for Eurovision other than to make a "typical metal show". Hatari are here with a proper message to dismantle capitalism. AWS were just fun, Hatari are both fun and condescending. AWS didn't really have all that buzz going on for themselves in the odds, Hatari are still sitting in bookies top 10 as of now. AWS didn't prepare anything shocking for the audiences other than playing really loud and the scream breakdown only coming in on the bridge of the song. Hatari is full on onto you with everything - the costumes, the words, and so on, and the screaming is already on with them verses. And Hatari have way more chances to be memorable than AWS by being completely outstanding in everything. We love bondage kings singing in Icelandic (the language's 2nd appearance in Eurovision from an Icelandic song in this decade, first time it happened in 2013). We truly do. (And so do I still love the AWS boys, don't mind me.)

So as a whole I'd like to say that I really, REALLY adore this. It's expressive, it's divisive, it's brave, it doesn't care if you hate it, it's there and it's divine. I didn't really piece my thoughts well together on this, but I will forever find a lot of nice things to say on it, after all this time, always. ♡ The whole team and the whole marketing from Iceland Music News is perfect. The song is perfect. The composition is perfect. The chorus and the chorus lyrics are love. The performance... could use some good camerawork, but still. I'm crying at how much this is beautiful. Iceland's alternative scene is banging and them finally submitting something from one of its many outskirts among all of those pop songs is a victory on its own. Love, love, love Hatari. I bow down to these great people for existing and ending up on Eurovision.

Now tell me, how are you not going to love a band that was noticed by Icethony Landtano himself? ★

And how are you not going to love a band that loves children? And cakes? If you don’t, then shame on you, really. ;p

Approval factor: no. ....... way I’m not going to approve this ;) I want more epic Iceland after that, too.

Follow-up factor: Actually, that's the best possible way of approval I've ever seen. It's a complete 180 of an entry jump that it's impossible to believe the angel Ari came before Hatari. Good job, Iceland! Keep going that good way!

Qualification factor: Well, this is a case of all or nothing, where an entry is so loudly and proudly different that you don't know exactly where is it gonna place. If AWS had some sort of struggles to qualify (they were 4 fucking points over Romania last year), so would have Hatari, but only if the televote doesn't give them enough love against the jury's hatred. But for now I'd remain extremely and utterly positive over the boys. =) The final will hear of that song about the dystopia, the power and powerlessness, the hope and hopelessness, and that if we don't remember to love, the hatred will prevail and the capitalism will overwhelm the world. (so I secretly hope for them to win too haha)

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Honestly, thank you RÚV for making Söngvakeppnin 2019 happen despite the petition. I love it how a band with the most shocking atmosphere won - kinda embodies the feeling of most of this nation's about what's going in Israel and Palstine. But no more on that. I'll not discuss that anymore. It's highlights time:

• At this point, who needs NF highlights if Hatari are highlights themselves. ♥ I love a token unphased contestant - the one that minds one's own business by not being overly happy - in fact, most of the things that occured to Hatari are, in their own words, "according to plan"! So they're all like, "yeah we entered and thanks to us being here, we're definitely winning this, and will definitely win Eurovision after winning that". Them drinking SodaDream in their tracksuits and not giving a single fuck about the surroundings, especially after being announced as qualifiers to the NF final, was an absolute #mood. They even were amazing on a show named 12stig (where Icelandic NF participants are talking about what will they do in the NF, what will they do if they make it to Tel Aviv after winning, etc.), with Matthías basically serving as the spokesperson for Klemens's piece of mind, and then them both doing a hand gesture,.. Communicating through one's whispers being voiced by a mastermind. Sounds like a horror movie concept.

• And no, I didn't love Hatari only - there was this one joyful great love pop song bearer finalist Tara Mobee whose song I liked. Other favourite acts include this indie blues number by a Faroese madame Kristina Skoubo, a silly pop/dance perfection by Daníel Óliver and a country-ish flavoured folk-ish pop song by Ívar Daníels. Granted they're too tame in comparison to Hatari, but they could have been other great alternatives for Eurovision! Unlike the two returning artists that competed... Hera Björk being one of them... she signed the petition against Iceland in 2019 Eurovision FFS! and yet she's here with her mind changed??

• Ari Ólafsson returning for a both winner reprise AND an epic and unexpected take on "Grande amore", one of the beloved Italian entries. Can't believe that actually became a thing but... here you go I suppose? Flawless vocals. If anyone deserves to repeat their ESC stint from Iceland, it's Ari.

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• Other highlights of the final night were Yohanna reprising her 2nd placer smash hit "Is It True?" 10 years later and even doing an Icelandic "Shallow" cover with the hosts �� and even Selma from Jerusalem 1999 fame came on the show too, but only in the green room!

• That one time I saw Friðrik Ómar (one of the two returning artist potential contestants) wearing a Freddie Mercury shirt ❤

• This honest to God mess of a performance and honest to God mess of a song. The song was a football anthem from 00s ripoff, the guy looked like Lil Pump and sounded annoying ("BLÆ BLÆ BLÆ"), the girls were salvageable, the chorus is cute and the performance? "So how many colors and dancers do you want?" "Yes." I hated it but 'twas fun I s'pose.

• I loved laughing at certain things of Söngvakeppnin, like the random insert of all the other contestants into ads and a lot of times I had to see the recap of all the (super)finalists. That's the only non-musical highlight I have aside from postcards, sorry Eleni. ❤ Your repeat performance of "Fuego"/"Tómame" from the Spanish NF and your trashbag dresses were still sleek tho.

Think that's all I'm gonna talk about. For now I would just love to end this by saying that Hatari might be scary, but children indeed love them (a lot of Hatari support posters in the NF were held by children, some of them teens even had bondage masks lol. Besides, 2 of the main members (if you count the band’s drummer Einar alongside the main members list) have kids on their own so it's understandable). Hatari might be impudent, but it attracts some people who love crazy in Eurovision. Hatari might be too political, but they're here in Tel Aviv to raise awareness, not to outright fucking protest - they know their goddamn limits, okay?? So for now, I'd just like to wish everyone involved in Iceland's entry the best in their life and to know that they contributed to one of the best things that happened to Eurovision. Only the eternal glory to the Icelandic lords and saviours. HATRED CAN AND WILL PREVAIL, END OF.

Oh and cakes!

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #iceland 2019 #hatari #hatrið mun sigra #iceland

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carmineclock · 5 years

Text

> A few days before, on Christmas~

Trace 12:47 AM

> Grabs Fin sometime during the holidays and pulls him aside. "So, when do we wanna do it?"

Fin 12:51 AM

" Do you have the rings ?"

Trace 1:02 AM

"Yep." > Pull two boxes out of the pocket and hand Fin one.

Fin 1:04 AM

"Then we can do this today why not?. I got a fine whiskey saved up for something special we can drink that or do you want champagne?." >Open the box and well...cry a little bit "Its really going to happen hu?"

Trace 1:10 AM

> Grin. You're nervous too, alright. "You're not gonna back out, are you?"

Fin 1:13 AM

"Of course not. Today of all days i'm feeling sort of brave" >smile at your lovely shark and hug him "How are you feeling though. You are the one who knows her the best. Are you ready?"

Trace 1:27 AM

> Take a deep breath and then smile. "Yes. I think. I'm sure. Do we want to do it when everyone is getting together or later when we're alone?"

Fin 1:33 AM

"Just because i get a bit of stage frights lets do this alone for now. We can get down to celebrate with the rest later"

Trace 1:36 AM

"Alright." > You stand there and shift a little, nervous and excited, then give Fin a kiss. "I can't wait."

Fin 1:45 AM

"Wait shouldn't we change into something better?"

Trace 1:47 AM

> ... "Better than this?" > I mean. You got a few other suits in your wardrobe.

Fin 1:50 AM

"You can always do better. Let's get changed. Besides wouldn't you want to wear something olive?"

Trace 1:50 AM

"I suppose. Will you do me the honor of dressing me?"

Fin 1:52 AM

"Of course, lets fix your suit first then i will get changed. Let's do this quick before somebody sees us"

Trace 1:53 AM

"Okay." > Time to get fancy.

Fin 1:55 AM

>And fancy it is, of course that Fin has bought already shirts and coats that would fit a olive aesthetic in case they decided to be all gay with Nepeta. >Fix up your boyfriend first. "So what are we going to say ?"

Trace 1:59 AM

> You're very feeling fancy. And maybe a bit uncomfortable because these aren't your usual clothes that you're so used to. Or it's just the nerves. "That we got a gift for her?"

Fin 2:00 AM

"Sounds good. Do you think you cand o the talking? your knees look weak tonight" >laugh

Trace 2:02 AM

"I can definitely do the talking. Just not the standing maybe."

> Grin and kiss him. "Managed to do it with you too."

Fin 2:07 AM

"and you almost die." >Finish tying his tie good one nice color pap pap. "Alright let me change and we can go...oof. I wish i was more prepared i feel like crying everytime, good thing i dont wear make up" >Fan yourself to stop from crying again

Trace 2:19 AM

> Cackles and kiss his cheek. "Save the tears for when we ask her, she'll love it."

Fin 2:25 AM

"I can't ! i feel like you've opened a shower on my eyes god damn" >undress at the speed of light this needs to happen soon or you will continue to cry until you are dry as a raisin "Are we missing anything? we got the rings, we look awesome. Where should we do this ?"

Trace 2:27 AM

"Her room, inbetween all the cats? Or, on the roof like our moment?""

Fin 2:28 AM

"I mean roof wins dramatic points. but the room has something cute about it. i will let you decide" >change your clothes meanwhile

Trace 2:29 AM

"Dammit, Fin."

Fin 2:32 AM

"Dammit indeed... I mean i would pick the roof because i love dramatically awesome things. But how can we call her there without raising any suspicion of you know...something big happening?"

Trace 2:34 AM

"Does it really matter if we raise suspicion if the big moment is coming right after?"

Fin 2:36 AM

"I mean whats the point of doing it with a bang if the bang was suspected to happen ?. Maybe we can tell her to go first cuz we gonna have a drinking party, tell her its about celebrating maybe our ashen stuff? so its not only us 3?. Hmmmmmmmm or we could just go with that and hope shes tired enough not to care why. I'm sorry i tend to get all twisted about these things...i..i want it to be perfect"

Trace 2:37 AM

"Shhh." > Kiss him. "It'll be perfect, no matter if she expects something or not. I don't think she'll expect that to happen though."

Fin 2:40 AM

>fix your hair nervously "I'm really trying not to peek on the trails right now. Ok lets just go before i die"

Trace 2:43 AM

> Help him fix his hair a little. It's tempting to just ruffle and mess it up again, but the two of you are already nervous. "Your idea isn't bad though. We should invite Clover anyway."

Fin 2:58 AM

"Later , once we got her yes. I kinda want to have this moment for us only. Is that too selfish of me to ask ?"

Trace 3:06 AM

"Not at all. That's fine."

Fin 3:08 AM

>sigh ok everything is fine "shall we then?"

Trace 3:17 AM

"We shall." > Up you go. > On the way there you send Nepeta a message. 03: Hey, come join us on the roof 03: It's a wonderful night today.

Fin 3:18 AM

05: got some nice whiskey too lets party kitty

05: let that partitty out

>walk in circles while craddling the bottle

Trace 3:19 AM

03: Already on it

Fin 3:24 AM

>jump jump jump "Oh boy oh boy here we go its happening"

Trace 3:26 AM

> Cackle. "If you don't want her to suspect anything, you're doing a very bad job at it. Come sit down with me."

Fin 3:27 AM

"right right" >join your nerd

Nepeta 3:29 AM

:33 < theres titties and booze? im in!!! be right there! > Right now you are mainly suspecting something kinky. Its always something kinky with them, yes? > You are ready for that in either event and quickly make your way up to the roof. Kitties here! "Is this where the hot shark party is at?"

Fin 3:45 AM

(so 35nep?)

Trace 3:57 AM

"Hot sharks and a party. Can confirm!" > Wave her over to where the two of you are sitting. Actually, you move over a little so she can fit between you.

Fin 3:59 AM

>pat the space between the two of you and wave nepeta welcome with the bottle in hand. "We saved you a nice spot !"

Nepeta 4:05 AM

> Fuck yeah, shark party! You flop down between them, giving each of them a little smooch on the cheek. "So! What are we celebrating, sharksomes?"

Trace 4:08 AM

"Oh you know. Christmas. Being together and all."

Fin 4:10 AM

"Also my amazing ass of course that's always worth celebrating"

Nepeta 4:39 AM

"Oh, so it's the ass kind of party" > Yeah, totally a kink thing. Definitely.

Trace 4:40 AM

"It's always an ass kind of party. But we got another gift for you first."

Fin 4:45 AM

>sweat sweat sweat "y-yes! a good gift!"

Nepeta 4:51 AM

"Oh? Is it... a dick purrhaps?" > Eyebrow waggle.

Trace 4:52 AM

"Better." > Grin and try not to look too nervously.(edited)

Fin 4:55 AM

>Look at trace like now? or do you want to say something first, come on telepathy WORK "Oh much much better"

Nepeta 5:04 AM

"Two dicks!" > The most sparkly anime eyes. Could it be? Trace dick night?

Trace 5:08 AM

> Crack up. "No. Yes. I mean. But no." > Take her hand. And stare at it nervously. "We were gonna ask. Would you- Do you want to marry us?" > You pull the little box out of your pocket, waiting for Fin to do the same.

Fin 5:11 AM

>when Trace moves to grab her hand you do the same and start shaking, you almost drop your box "We feel like it's the logic step for us. We both love you to death and we want to be with you forever" >Oh no you are crying AGAIN "Would you take us as the trashiest most sexiest husbands in all Midnight City?"

Trace 5:12 AM

> The two of you show her a pair of matching rings, obviously meant to go together, and obviously meant for her.

December 30, 2018

Nepeta 2:25 AM

> Oh. You did NOT expect that, not at all. They are both already married after all, to each other! And you are a troll...do you even DO marriage? Well, it's not like you were raised on Alternia anyways, but still. Is it legal to marry two people? Does it matter if it's legal to marry two people, when nothing about your lives is anways? > There's a lot of thoughts running through your mind as you cover your mouth with your hands to muffle the shocked gasp. Are you crying? Oh god, you are totally crying. > You honestly never thought anyone would ask you that. Despite your obsession with romance, you never even dreamt of it. And yet... "Y-Yes! Oh my god, yes. Of course... You fuckers. I didn't expect... Fuck. Of course I want to." > You are crying, but you can't stop laughing either. Damn it, you really do love these assholes.

Trace 2:35 AM

> For a terrible second you have to wait out the shock and realization. Waiting for that answer, and then it finally comes.. Aw. Gosh, she's so adorable. You immediately pull her into a hug and kiss her very wet face with a wide toothy grin. "Your fuckers now."

Fin 4:31 AM

>you have been holding your breath for what I felt as an eternity until you hear that sweet yes and you finally let yourself take a deep breath "I swear you won't regret it . I will do my best to make you both so happy"

Nepeta 7:42 AM

> You reply to Trace's kiss with a very wet kiss of your own, but on the lips. That's what you do with your fiancé, right? Not like you really give a damn. "You were already my fuckers. Only difference is that now I'll be officially stuck with you." > Fin gets his very own wet smooch as well. "God damn it. I never thought...Shit. You guys are so gay."

Trace 2:38 AM

> The kiss just slightly catches you off-guard, but you can't say you mind. Not the first of these kisses you shared, and something tells you it won't be the last. "You already knew we are." > You laugh happily and release her to let her hug and kiss Fin too. This gives you the chance to realize your face got a little wet too and wipe away your own happy tears.

#logs

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stories-in-the-stars · 5 years

Text

The Fallen and the Wandering

Make sure to check the reblogs for links to Ao3!

~*~

Chapter 6

As Shiro had told them, any prior disqualifications were waived, a testament to the Bureau’s desperation. He was, he admitted, surprised to see them going their separate ways, but both Lance and Keith assured them that they had given this much thought, and were certain that they wanted to press forward on the paths they had chosen.

By the time the weekend had passed, there was no turning back. Lance had been accepted to join the solar task force easily, which Pidge was more than delighted about. Sniffing out conspiracies was not so stressful with a friend by your side. Meanwhile, Keith had to wait until the middle of the week to hear back about the prospect of replacer training. It had been just as Shiro assured him, however, and by the end of the week, both he and Lance had started training for their new jobs. But where Lance simply had to go through processing (read: tedious, boring paperwork) to get his security clearance and access badge, Keith had to go through formal training, which, on the first day, consisted only of going over some of the special tools a replacer uses in the course of their work, including an altitude mask and what looked, quite literally, like a sewing kit. Keith was bored out of his mind by the end of the day, and yet somehow drained completely.

“How is replacer training so far?” Lance texted him nearly an hour after he got home.

“Boring,” Keith replied.

“Come on, it’s got to be better than signing your name a thousand and one times promising that you won’t tell anyone about what goes on in the solar task force (I can promise you that Pidge broke almost every promise but like, one or two—she still hasn’t told us if they hoard the good coffee or not. I think she’s hoarding it for herself now),” Lance told him.

“We didn’t even do any flying, we just went over the proper wear and care of the altitude masks, and then we barely got started on the replacement kits,” Keith explained. “It looks like a sewing kit.”

“Yeah, Allura said as much when she started replacer training,” Lance said.

“Any chance of me being her partner? She seems nice.” Keith deliberated on the word he used to describe Allura. He definitely didn’t dislike her, but he didn’t know her all that well either. All he had were bits and pieces that Lance illuminated for him, but he didn’t have an entire picture. Still, he’d prefer her over someone he didn’t know at all.

“Sorry, man, she’s taken ;)” came Lance’s reply.

Keith should’ve seen it coming. He was in the middle of typing out an annoyed response when another message arrived. “But seriously, Romelle is pretty cool too, you’ll probably get to meet her sooner or later.”

“Romelle?”

“Allura’s partner? Keep up, Keith.”

Keith chuckled good-naturedly, and they continued to chat idly for at least another hour or so, about their days, about what they were excited about in their new positions—they hardly touched upon the topic of Terrell or what she was up to. Too often had they already gone in circles regarding her; it was nice to talk as though things were normal, if only for a while. He only noticed the time when he had to stifle a yawn, practically falling asleep stretched out along the couch. He told Lance it was time for him to be getting to bed, and once again Lance teased him for being an old man that had to go to bed early. Keith smiled at that, and replied that if Lance was tired from staying up too late he’d better not complain about it to Keith tomorrow. Lance assured him that of all the people he could complain to, Keith was at the top of his list.

He had just settled into bed, already nodding off, when his phone buzzed with yet another message, and he considered, briefly, ignoring it until morning. After all, he was already so comfortable, and to move would break the spell of peak comfort that had settled over him so deeply as to set into his very bones. Yet even as he was thinking of how very much he did not want to move, he reached for his phone all the same.

“Good night, Keith :)”

Keith turned his face into his pillow, smiling wide. He quickly returned the sentiment (minus the smiley face), and put his phone screen down, determined that he should get at least some sleep that night. And sleep he did, dreaming of light and warmth so tender that it could melt even the most steadfast of icy shells.

The next week was nothing but tedious training, testing and retesting to make sure he could properly wear his altitude mask and work in it—if they could, Keith had no doubt his trainers would have him living in his altitude mask. He quickly tired of how loud his own breath sounded in his ears, but no doubt he would have to get used to it. Once his new supervisors were certain that Keith would be able to breathe while he worked, it was finally, finally time to fly.

As a trainee, Keith would not be partnered off, but rather he would shadow a pair of replacers, watch them at first to see how the replacement process was done (he could read about it all day, he was told—and he had—but actually seeing how it was done was crucial). It was stupendously aggravating to Keith—he just wanted to get to doing his actual job!—but he was a bit less ruffled when he found who he would be shadowing.

“Keith!” Allura called brightly. “I only just found out you’d be the trainee shadowing us today! Are you excited?”

Keith, for all that he’d been running on an undercurrent of excitement ever since he’d found out he was finally going to be a replacer, found that he couldn’t quite match Allura’s enthusiasm and was as such taken aback by her energy. It almost reminded him of Lance.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” he finally offered, which seemed to satisfy Allura.

“Oh, let me introduce you to my partner,” she tittered, gesturing to a young woman whose hair was as golden as Allura’s was silver. She turned towards Allura’s voice, and, noticing Keith, regarded him as well. “Romelle, Keith—Keith, Romelle.”

Romelle was just finishing pinning back her hair in a braided crown. “Nice to meet you Keith. You were Lance’s partner as a searcher, right? Heard a lot about you.”

“Hopefully nothing too horrible,” Keith said.

“Oh, on the contrary—“ Romelle started, before being shushed by Allura.

Before Keith could inquire, Allura turned their focus onto work. “So! Keith! I know you and Lance had to spend quite a bit of time in the analyst’s department making the maps we use here for our work, so I have no doubt you’re more than familiar with how to read them?”

“I could read them in my sleep at this point,” Keith deadpanned.

“Good, then we don’t have to teach you that, that’s always the most difficult part, but just to make sure,” Allura said, handing the map she held to Keith. “You’ll lead the way today.”

Keith blinked, again taken aback. “Really?”

Allura raised an eyebrow at him. “Unless you don’t think you can…?”

Keith grabbed the map she was holding out. “Let’s go.”

As it turned out, reading a map by itself and actually using it to find his way were two completely different things. To find one’s way in a sky with so few stars was a hard thing indeed, and more than once Keith found himself going the wrong way, only to be gently turned around by Allura, though he could hardly hear her through his altitude mask. He could swear he could hear Romelle laughing at him, though perhaps he was imagining it through the fierce winds that whipped insistently so high up (for the first time in so long he found himself shivering of cold, but he bit his tongue before breathing so much as a word of complaint).

Due to Keith’s less than expert navigating skills, it was a while before they carefully replaced their first star. It was not entirely unlike sewing a button onto cloth, only the star had no holes through which to thread the needle. Romelle fished out a star from her pocket, eyeing it carefully to ensure it was the right one, and then held it against the dark canvas of night as Allura threaded the needle with a thread that shined just as the star did.

“This is no ordinary thread,” Allura explained as she prodded the star with her needle. “When humans were first looking for ways to restore the world to what it had once been, they of course turned to wishes. Naturally a wish didn’t solve all our problems, nor did multiple wishes—but they did give us the tools we need. The stars that were wished upon unspooled, becoming the thread we use now.”

“It means that, no matter what, there will be less stars in the sky when all is said and done,” Romelle added. “But so long as we get the important ones back in the sky, it should be fine.”

“The important ones being those we can see with our naked eyes, from the ground,” Allura continued, weaving her needle expertly in and out of the night. Keith watched carefully, his attention rapt. He found himself wondering what was on the other side of the night. “Plenty of people, sailors, travellers of all kinds, used the stars to navigate at night.”

Keith nodded. “Polaris in the northern hemisphere, and the southern cross in the south.”

“That’s right, those were the primary guide stars,” Allura said, tying off the shining thread and snipping it close to the knot. “Most of the stars—all but one I think—of the southern cross have been found, and a couple stars of ursa minor have been found, but not Polaris. It’s concerning, given that Polaris has always been a dimmer star, there’s talk that someone’s made a wish on it already…”

Allura chattered like that for the majority of the day, Romelle interjecting eagerly from time to time. Keith, all the while, was content to merely listen as Allura managed to explain the job of a replacer and all the accompanying responsibilities as though they were all part of some delightful story. Though she mirrored Lance in so many of her mannerisms, it seemed so often that she was his exact opposite. When Lance told a story, he often got so excited he would trip and stumble over his own words, gesturing wildly with his hands and animating the story. Allura’s words rolled like silver off her tongue, smooth as though practiced, and never interfering with the task at hand, no matter how dedicated to her story she became.

By the time their shift was over, they had only managed to replace about half of the stars allotted to them for that day, thanks to Keith constantly getting turned around and around in the dark of the high sky. Allura assured him that it was no problem at all, really, even as Romelle reminded them both that there was pressure to get more stars in the sky faster. It grated at Keith beyond all belief, that he had kept messing up, but Allura had not lost her patience a single time (or at the very least, she hadn’t shown it). She seemed to have confidence that he’d do better the next day, and told him that as soon as he could get around without getting lost, he could start trying to replace stars himself.

Normally he would’ve been excited at the prospect of replacing stars sooner rather than later, but the frustrations of the day had him feeling a little discouraged. He found himself thinking that he might even drop a star on his first attempt to replace one.

So taken was he by these defeated thoughts that he didn’t notice Lance, who was impossible to miss on any other occasion, until Lance threw an arm around him, knocking him clear out of his head.

“Hey! I heard you’re training with Allura and Romelle! How’s that going?” Lance asked enthusiastically.

“Oh, uh…” Keith started lamely. “It’s… going.”

“Really? Cause I heard you got lost, like, several times,” Lance said in a teasing tone.

“Allura told you?!” Keith demanded, slipping out from under Lance’s arm.

Lance looked genuinely surprised. “She—I was joking.”

Keith promptly deflated. “Oh.”

“So you actually did get lost?” Lance asked in a bit of a softer tone, as they began to walk.

“Yeah,” Keith sighed deeply, shoulders slumping. “I can read the map, but using it to get around in the sky is completely different. Allura had me lead the way the whole time, even after the first few times she had to turn me around.”

“She’s like that,” Lance said with a sage nod. “She’s of the mind that success doesn’t come without failure, and a lot of it.”

Keith tutted. “I guess it makes sense…”

“Don’t worry,” Lance said, slinging his arm around Keith again. “It just means she has faith in you. It’s when she doesn’t let you do anything that you have to worry.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Keith replied. “How’re you doing?”

“Right! So, now that I’m all processed and stuff, what they do is they divide us into teams,” Lance started, all the heralds of a rant making themselves known to Keith almost immediately.

Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately, Keith couldn’t decide), they arrived just outside Keith’s apartment building. They stopped for a brief moment, for Lance had just been telling Keith how things were going, and it seemed like he had an awful lot to say, and Keith was actually interested in listening. He knew Lance didn’t like the cold, so of course there was only one reasonable thing to do.

“Want to come up for a bit?” He asked Lance.

Lance gave him a smile that lit up his face. “Sure!”

When they reached his apartment, Lance settled in easily, remembering the near two months he’d lived there. Keith, on instinct, turned up the heat for him, though he knew that he’d be sweating sooner rather than later. It wasn’t like Lance was staying the night, so he could push through it.

“You don’t have to turn up the heat for me,” Lance said, lounging easily on the couch. “If you have something hot to drink though, I won’t say no.”

Keith didn’t turn the heat back down. “It’s fine, and anyways I don’t like hot drinks, so I don’t have any.”

“You don’t like hot drinks?! Not even hot chocolate?!” Lance exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Nope, too sweet for me,” Keith said.

Lance rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Figures. Anyways, so the solar task force, right?”

Lance then spent the next hour telling Keith every intricate detail of the interior of the solar task force (they did indeed hoard the good coffee, not that it really mattered to Lance apparently, since he, apparently, found coffee too bitter. Pidge, on the other hand, was thrilled and even more glad that she didn’t have to share it with Lance). According to Lance, the task force, especially as it grew, was divided into very small teams, and their day to day work was not so very different from that of searching, only, as Lance put it, far more boring.

It was up to more senior members to do formal investigations of any leads, but from their results were areas that required thorough searching. As of right now, investigators pointed them towards literal nests of snatchers, which had gotten Lance into trouble more times than he could count, and it had barely been a week since he had properly started.

“They have you guys going after snatchers?” Keith asked incredulously. Pidge had said they were looking for Terrell, but for them to be dealing directly with snatchers…

“We haven’t found Terrell. Flashy as her power is, she knows how to keep a low profile,” Lance huffed.

“So, wait, they have you guys searching in small teams, dealing directly with snatchers—“ Keith started.

“We have a couple of keepers on each team, transferred and given proper clearance and all,” Lance interrupted.

“Still,” Keith protested. “What do they expect you to if you ever actually find Terrell? She’s way more dangerous when she’s cornered.”

He remembered vividly Terrell’s final burst of power at the Bureau, the one that allowed not only her, but all of her lackeys as well, time enough to escape. He shuddered to think what she might do if she was found in a place she thought herself safe. As of yet, she seemed to have no upper limit. The Bureau was being reckless, foolhardy—it was one thing for an individual to run in headfirst without foresight or plan, but for an organization to order it’s people, knowingly, to do so…

“It’s a bad way to run things, yeah,” Lance agreed. “But now I know what Pidge was talking about.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s something the higher ups aren’t telling us. They’re being way too flippant when it comes to Terrell. It should be the keepers job to actually find and detain Terrell, and then hand her over to the solar task force for questioning about the whereabouts of the sun… But they have us going after her directly and they won’t tell us why,” Lance mused.

“So what will you do?” Keith asked.

“Hard to say. I mean, what do you do against someone that has lightning powers? Can she be electrocuted, or is she immune? I could probably make sure I’m wearing rubber-soled boots, but otherwise…” Lance shrugged. “Guess I just have to be quick.”

Keith thought to how Pidge had held her own against Terrell, if only for a short time. She had been quick, but she was small, able to get within Terrell’s reach and stay there. Lance, so long as he was just as fast, could probably do well with his reach, but even so…

“Don’t worry your pretty little head over me,” Lance added with a crooked grin. “I know she’s dangerous, just as well as you do, but she can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Right,” Keith sighed. “You’re right.”

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear that, could you maybe repeat that, maybe write it down so—“

“You heard me, now quit it!” Keith laughed, shoving Lance by his shoulder.

“Nope! Nuh-uh, I went temporarily deaf—!” Lance insisted, shoving Keith back.

Soon enough they were play-fighting with great energy, smacking and shoving and soon enough trying to claim victory by pinning the other down. Several times they both kicked out with their legs and accidentally whacked the coffee table, which Keith was sure would result in a brilliant array of bruises later on. Neither of them refused to yield. Once or twice Keith thought he had the upper hand, until Lance neatly twisted out of his grasp and threatened to win this little scuffle.

Eventually, Lance tired first, and Keith managed to pin him against the couch, both of them panting and laughing breathlessly. Even in defeat Lance was resist, trying to escape just one more time, but Keith had him well and pinned.

“Come on, give it up, I win,” Keith insisted as Lance continued to struggle.

“No—you—haven’t!” Lance gasped.

And the next thing Keith knew, his world was spinning far too fast, and when it stopped he was securely between Lance and the couch, with Lance looking far too pleased with himself as he held Keith down by his wrists.

“So, what were you saying about winning?” Lance asked.

“Shut up!” Keith snorted.

Then Lance lowered his tone, speaking softly, “Still think I can’t handle Terrell?”

Keith blinked, taken aback. “I—I never thought you couldn’t.”

“But you were worried.”

“Of course I was, I—Lance, fighting Terrell is different from pinning someone down on a couch!” Keith protested.

“I know,” Lance said, his voice still level. “But I also don’t need you worrying about me when you don’t need to be.”

“Who says I need to? Can’t I just worry about you because I don’t want you to get hurt?” Keith asked, his voice almost pleading.

“I guess I can’t stop you, but I don’t want you to,” Lance replied, slumping down on top of Keith.

Keith, tired from their scuffle, did nothing to stop him. It was like having a warm, weighted blanket on top of him, something he would normally hate, but which Lance made seem reasonably cozy. Lance regarded him with those deep blue eyes, his expression almost searching. It was very nearly uncomfortable, if only because whatever Lance was searching for, Keith was certain he’d be able to find it.

“Why shouldn’t I worry?” Keith inquired.

“I just said, I don’t want you to,” Lance retorted.

Keith rolled his eyes. “I know, but why?”

“Well, would you want people worrying about you?”

“I… That’s not the same, I’m not going directly into danger on a daily basis,” Keith protested.

“That’s not what I was asking, Keith,” Lance said, idly brushing a strand of hair out of Keith’s face. “I’m asking… if you were in my place, heading into danger without anything more than a whisper to go off… would you want people wasting their energy worrying about you, when in reality they might not need to worry at all?”

“It’s not a waste of energy,” Keith said assuredly. “It’s not a waste of my energy to worry about you.”

Lance’s eyes widened at that, and then he smiled, so softly and with such warmth as to set Keith’s heart to melting. They stayed like that for a while, though all playfulness had subsided and they were simply talking. Lance couldn’t seem to keep his fingers out of Keith’s hair, but when Keith mentioned it, Lance insisted that he was thinking of all the ways to cut away his stupid mullet.

After a few moments, Lance shuffled, his expression suddenly confused. He patted at Keith’s chest, and Keith quickly realized that the glass vial that contained his wish was probably jamming uncomfortably at Lance. He pulled it out, the dim light casting stark shadows on Lance’s inquiring face.

“Why haven’t you wished for anything yet?” he asked.

“Nothing worth wishing for,” Keith answered simply.

“Really?”

Keith reached to gently set the little flask on the coffee table. “Yeah. I mean, most things I want are things that I can get on my own.”

“Never took you to be the patient type,” Lance teased gently.

“No, I’m not really,” Keith laughed. “But I was worse when I was younger. Thanks to Shiro I’m a bit better, and I’m thankful I haven’t blown my wish on something that never needed wishing for in the first place.”

Lance hummed thoughtfully, his eyes drooping slightly.

“Have you made a wish for anything?” Keith asked suddenly.

He expected Lance to answer immediately with something whimsical, or perhaps something small but with personal meaning to Lance. There was no telling, when it came to Lance.

The actual answer, however, was something Keith could’ve never guessed.

“I can’t make wishes,” Lance admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.

Keith could only stare. “What?”

Looking away, Lance continued, “I’ve tried. When I was a kid, I’d try making wishes on stars I’d find while playing, and kids are supposed to be great wishmakers, you know? But no matter what the wish, whether it was small or big or realistic or not… None of my wishes ever came true.”

“Oh… Lance, I—“

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Lance assured him. “I’m happy with where I’m at in life, and I got here without wishes, so I guess I didn’t need any after all.”

Lance then started to tell Keith of all the things he’d tried wishing for as a child, some things so completely ridiculous as to set Keith to giggling uncontrollably, other things being so thoughtful and kind that Keith could only smile. Once all his stories had been exhausted, Lance asked if there had been anything Keith had almost wished for, or if there were things he would wish for if they were not made impossible by the cardinal rules of wish making. Keith admitted some things that were more personal, things that he normally would’ve kept as close to him as he did his star. In the dim light of his apartment, with Lance so close and looking as though he was hanging onto every word that Keith spoke, they fell too easily from his mouth, and Keith found he didn’t mind at all. Not with Lance.

Keith couldn’t say when it happened, or how, exactly, but the next thing he knew, he was aware that he was dreaming. From the dark of his sleep, as always, there came light. First small and flickering, as stars were wont to be. Then, so far it could hardly be considered to be twice as big as the other stars, came another light. It was not so much different from a star—in fact, as far as Keith was concerned, it was a star, only a little closer than the others. And yet… it was different. Keith felt it on his skin, as it’s warmth touched him, seeped in and made itself welcome within him. Unthinkingly, he reached for it, wanting to hold it close, but then withdrew. Too close, he knew, and it would burn, it would be too much. Certainly it was strong enough to keep him close, of that Keith would never doubt. But what if it chose to leave? Would Keith be strong enough to convince it to stay, without grabbing and holding it tight?

Before he could even come close to answering the questions he was asking, the light, without warning engulfed him—but it did not burn. It was almost overwhelming, certainly, as it had been before, but it was softer, somehow, enveloping Keith as though it were conscious of him, as though he were something precious.

And then Lance was there.

“Well,” Lance said, blinking and looking around. “This is new.”

Keith awoke with a start. Lance was still lying on top of him, cozy as could be and snoring lightly. He had no idea what time it was, but surely they hadn’t been sleeping for that long… Lance’s phone rang loudly—it was what had woken Keith in the first place. Then, Keith’s phone was ringing too. Suddenly he didn’t want to check the time. He had a very bad feeling that he wouldn’t like what he found at all.

Indeed, when he finally mustered up the willpower to look at his phone, he all but tossed Lance off of him, startling Lance into sudden wakefulness. He was, at first, very cross to have been awoken in such a manner, not yet realizing what exactly the problem was. He thought they’d only dozed for an hour or so. Keith urged him to check his phone, while he himself shoved his shoes on, knowing that today was going to be several kinds of awful. Lance practically screamed and moved as quickly as Keith to put his shoes on.

And that was how the two of them ended up sprinting to the Bureau, an hour late for work and wearing the same clothes as they had the day before. They wished each other luck with their respective supervisors before parting ways. Keith, for all that he wasn’t looking forward to hearing the impression that this was making on his new supervisor, couldn’t help but be glad this hadn’t happened while they were still searchers—Shiro would’ve had a field day with this (after, of course, having their heads for being so egregiously late).

Keith’s new supervisor was less than thrilled to find Keith late, but felt that wasting time on lectures was pointless. A stern, “Don’t let it happen again,” and Keith was on his way. Allura and Romelle, on the other hand, had plenty of time to lecture him, and enough cause to do so, given that they’d had to wait for him this whole time, wasting precious time they needed to replace stars. For the first half of their shift, Allura was so cross as to make Keith trail behind them and watch, not even letting him guide them as she had the day before.

Given that he had nothing to do but follow, Keith took the time to marvel at the scenery so far below him. It was completely different, looking down from this height. Where once he could make out particular buildings and distinct features, now only he could see a brilliant tapestry of lights dotting the pitch black earth. Were it not for pictures he’d seen before, Keith might’ve wondered if this was what the night sky had been like before the fall. Regardless, it was a pretty picture all the same, and Keith almost wished he had a camera.

Around midday, they paused, and Allura turned to him, “I hope you don’t make a habit of this.”

“I won’t!” Keith insisted. “Ask Shiro, I’m never late, I’m either here or I’m not!”

“So then why were you late today?” Romelle inquired.

“I—uh…” Keith stammered, glancing at Allura. Exactly how did he say that a human being had fallen asleep on top of him and they’d both been so comfortable that they’d both slept through both of their alarms? Especially when that human being happened to be her boyfriend? “I—overslept.”

“And you’ve never overslept before?” Romelle pressed.

“It happens to everyone eventually!” Keith snapped. “It won’t happen again!”

“Alright, alright…” Romelle grumbled. “I was only wondering…”

“I know it happens,” Allura said. “It’s happened to me before, it’s just that we’re under a lot of pressure now to get these stars in the sky in a hurry—I won’t begrudge you for it this time, and I’m sorry for being a little cross, but—well, you understand, don’t you?”

Keith nodded. “I understand.”

“Wonderful. Then it’s time for you to lead the way again,” Allura told him enthusiastically, holding out the map for him to take.

To his credit (or perhaps it was only because he had only started leading the way halfway through the day), Keith only took them in the wrong direction twice. Thanks to Allura and Romelle taking the lead for the first half, they were very nearly caught up with their daily quota, which left Keith feeling a little less disheartened than he had the day before.

“Don’t be late again!” Romelle teased as she took Allura’s hand and walked with her out of the replacer’s department at the end of the day.

Keith gave her an exasperated wave as he rolled his eyes. He had a feeling he’d run into Lance again today, and he was determined that what happened yesterday should not happen again today, regardless of how much he’d actually enjoyed it. When he left the replacer’s department, however, the first person he encountered was not Lance, but Shiro. And Keith did not like the look on his face at all.

“So,” Shiro drawled, face carefully composed with a small smile. “I heard you were late today.”

“How do you even know that? Who do you have following me?” Keith demanded, looking around as though he might actually find someone clinging to the ceiling just above him.

Shiro laughed, but cryptically provided, “I just know these things. You know who else was late?”

“I’m not answering that,” Keith huffed, walking away. Shiro, of course, had no problem with following.

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, of course,” Shiro continued.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Keith insisted.

“I mean, you’ve never been late before, but I’m sure it was just a matter of chance that had you running in late at the same time as Lance—“

“Shiro, seriously?!” Keith exclaimed as they exited the building.

“What?” Shiro asked, the picture of innocence.

“What do you even think happened? And why do you keep insisting that there’s something going on between us?” Keith demanded, more than a little irritated now.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to guess if you’d just tell me,” Shiro pointed out, the teasing completely absent from his voice.

Keith sighed. “He stayed the night and we both overslept. There. Happy?”

“Don’t know yet,” Shiro said. “Are you?”

“What kind of question is that Shiro?” Keith asked, at this point just tired.

“Keith,” he started in a much more serious tone. “You and Lance definitely had some issues starting out, but I feel like—I don’t know, I’ve just never seen you like this with anyone. Sue me for thinking you might like him.”

Keith’s face grew hot at that. “Of course I like him, but not in the way you’re implying.”

“Oh?”

“And even if I did—which I don’t,” Keith continued pointedly. “He’s dating Allura, how many times do I have to remind you?”

“And how many times do I have to ask you what makes you so sure they’re dating?” Shiro retorted as they skirted the ever growing patch of ice on the sidewalk. Keith absently thought that someone really needed to shovel some salt onto it.

“I’m telling you, if you saw them, you’d know. Allura and Lance are dating,” Keith insisted. He was about to give empirical evidence (which really wasn’t empirical at all, just inferences made from really obvious observations), when a startled yelp from behind them caught his attention.

Of course, who else should it be but Lance, lying very defeated on the ground? Keith shot Shiro a glance that hopefully communicated that he better keep his mouth shut, and went to offer a helping hand, or at the very least make sure he was okay.

“Hey, you okay?” Keith asked, wondering just how much, if any, of the conversation Lance had heard. Hopefully none of it. Keith pleaded to the stars above and around that he didn’t hear any of it.

“Maybe a bruised ego, and butt, but otherwise I’m good,” Lance assured him, taking the hand that was offered.

It wasn’t until Lance was upright that Keith noticed that he seemed… droopy? There was no other word for it—Lance, normally so bright and easy-going, was unusually quiet and slouched.

“Bad day at work?” Keith asked. Up ahead, Shiro said he’d be going on home, and Keith bid him farewell, thankful that Shiro had decided to not tease him in front of Lance.

Lance shrugged. “It wasn’t so bad—I got chewed out for being late, but otherwise it was pretty chill. We raided an abandoned snatcher hideout and found a few handfuls of stars, but no sun to speak of so far.”

His explanation was short and bland, so uncharacteristic of Lance that Keith couldn’t help but feel as though there was more going on. The question was, how far should he push? Certainly he and Lance were doing a lot better than they had before, but this easy friendship between them was still relatively new. Keith didn’t want to ruin it by doing or saying the wrong thing. And Lance didn’t like to feel babied… perhaps it was better to not ask.

“So… I, uh, overheard you and Shiro talking, just now,” Lance started abruptly, making Keith wish desperately to sink into the ground.

He quickly banished the thought from his mind, acutely aware of the star pressed against his chest—knowing the fickle nature of wishes, he could very well end up falling through the sidewalk and all the way to the other side of the world. While it would certainly give him an escape, Keith was certain he didn’t want to be trapped in a disaster situation like that. What a way to spend his one wish.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Keith mumbled quickly. “I don’t normally gossip, but Shiro seems to think there’s something going on between us even though there’s not, and anyways you and Allura—“

“We’re not dating,” Lance interrupted.

“You’re—“ Keith stuttered, face blazing hot once more. “I’m—I am so sorry—“

Lance grinned, almost seeming like his normal self again. “Don’t worry about it, most people think we’re dating at first, but I’m impressed you’ve thought so for so long, especially now that you’ve met Romelle…”

“What does Romelle have to do with it?” Keith asked.

“Oh my stars,” Lance laughed. “That—I thought it would be obvious—“

“If it were obvious, I wouldn’t be asking,” Keith huffed.

“They’re dating, you dork,” Lance wheezed in the midst of his fit of laughter.

“Oh.”

Okay, so Keith had thought them to be very friendly—it wasn’t his fault that he’d thought that Allura was dating Lance. If he’d known that that wasn’t the case, maybe he would’ve put two and two together, but one misconception led to another. Still, two misunderstandings in one? Keith was feeling mortified at the moment. And then there was that little voice that sounded too much like Shiro whispering in his ear that this (probably) meant that Lance was single, but Keith ignored it just as he did the real Shiro. Even if Keith liked Lance in that way—which he didn’t, he continuously insisted—a relationship needed a two way connection to work. Keith was certain of two things: Firstly, that there was no way Lance was interested in Keith like that, and secondly, a romantic relationship between them would more than likely not work.

Meanwhile, Lance had finally managed to quell his laughter, and said to Keith, “You’re incredible, you know that?”

If Keith had to work to squash the fluttering in his chest at that, he hoped it didn’t show. “Whatever,” he said, turning to walk home, wondering idly if Lance would follow.

“Oh, and Keith,” Lance added, walking up beside Keith. “About last night…”

Keith held his breath. The entire day his thoughts had revolved, not only around the fact that it had most certainly caused him to oversleep and be late to work for the first time ever, but how nice it had been. Keith had never thought himself much one for cuddling, but maybe, if it were like that, then maybe one day, with the right person…

“If you want—that is, if it makes you feel more comfortable, we can pretend it never happened,” Lance said.

It was like a physical punch to the gut, and though Lance hadn’t laid a hand on him, Keith felt winded all the same. But it was fine, it was perfectly fine, Keith assured himself, and he assured Lance just the same. It wasn’t that he was necessarily uncomfortable with what had happened—he just didn’t want to really talk about it with other people, which he supposed, indicated some level of discomfort, but at the very least, he must’ve been thinking that, between himself and Lance, at least…

But it was a done deal then, and the mind lingers on that which it can’t have. When Keith arrived in his apartment, quite alone, he couldn’t help but feel that it was very empty, and perhaps for once a bit too cold for his tastes. He absently stretched out on the couch, suddenly with far too much time to think. Try as he might, he couldn’t help but remember the sensation of Lance resting gently on top of him, how he’d awoken with his arms wrapped around him. If he thought about it hard enough, Keith realized, he could almost feel the ghost of the memory, not yet dimmed by time. Rather than make him drowsy, however, it kept him wide awake and wondering… wondering if perhaps it was time to stop living in denial.

For Keith, for all that he had looked at several people and guessed the wrong sort of relationships between them all, was not so oblivious as to be unaware of his own nature. It was painfully obvious to him, as it clearly was to Shiro. That didn’t mean he had to like it, of course. Not like there was anything for it, of course, and Keith ultimately decided that living in denial, at least for a little while longer, wouldn’t hurt anyone, least of all himself.

The next few weeks passed easily, and Keith mastered not only the art of navigating the near starless skies, but also that of replenishing them with stars once more. He had not, as he feared, dropped a star on his very first attempt to replace it, but he was horribly conscious of the possibility the entire time. Afterwards, he had asked Allura and Romelle if they’d ever dropped any stars, and they immediately were tripping over themselves to tell stories of the time the other had dropped stars—it wasn’t all that uncommon among replacers, but damned if it wasn’t annoying.

Dropped stars aside (for Keith eventually did drop one, and made a mad dive for it that was at once comical and impressive, according to Romelle), Keith completed his training and became an officially certified replacer, much to his delight. Lance, upon hearing this, insisted that they go out to celebrate. Keith wasn’t so sure, but before he could say he would rather just go home and bask in the warm glow of his accomplishment, Lance had already texted Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Romelle, and Shiro, all who were eager to congratulate Keith properly. There was nothing for it, and Keith found that, despite the fervent buzzing he felt under his skin with everyone gathered together that made him restless and fidgety, he immensely enjoyed himself.

Lance, meanwhile, had run into his first spot of real trouble, but had managed to get away without a scratch—or a bruise, he later assured Keith. Privately, he told Keith that Pidge had been digging a little deeper, and found that, rather than being immediately dismissed from the Bureau for the murder of the three snatchers (for one in self-defense was already grounds for a lengthy probation), she had been transferred to a planetary task force. Both Lance and Keith found this immensely strange—what was more, Pidge had yet to find exactly which specific task force it had been. It was as though the whole story was scattered into bits and pieces, so that even if one piece were to be discovered accidentally, no one, except for someone who knew of all the places to look, would have the whole story.

It was more than suspicious, at the very least. Keith cynically wondered if perhaps the Bureau, as a whole, ought not to be trusted, but Lance was more optimistic. Perhaps, he suggested, Terrell was just that dangerous. Keith would only agree that it was likely a combination of both.

At least twice Keith had gotten sick from working in higher altitudes, and ended up missing a total of an entire week over the course of the next month or so. Each time, Lance had taken the time to visit him, though he had not much to offer but his company—Keith found that that was more than enough, and often felt much better after a visit from Lance. Slowly, but surely, he was starting to think that maybe it was time to stop living in denial, but then, if he actually went and acknowledged, even if only to himself, how he was feeling, what was he supposed to do then? Keith had no idea.

As an officially certified replacer, Keith was soon to be assigned a proper partner, which he was dreading if he was entirely honest. He had been lucky so far, first with Lance, and then with Allura and Romelle. Lance assured him that if the two of them could get along, Keith could make it work with anyone. As it was, there were an odd number of replacers in the department, and Keith was the most newly certified—he would have to wait for someone else to finish their training before getting a proper partner. In the meantime, he stayed with Allura and Romelle, which, since Keith was now proficient with all replacer tasks, meant that they could work faster, and were thus assigned a slightly larger quota to meet.

One day brought a comet sailing serenely overhead, dusting the entire area with snow. Keith met Lance along his way to work (which seemed to be happening more frequently lately, Keith couldn’t help but notice, though he didn’t mind), and Lance, upon seeing Keith, immediately stifled a laugh.

“What?” Keith asked.

“You’ve got snow in your hair,” Lance pointed out.

Keith reached up to pat the top of his head—he’d forgotten his hat, apparently. No wonder he was feeling the chill more acutely today. He shrugged; there wasn’t much he could do about it until they got to the Bureau. When they got there, however, he’d completely forgotten about it. Lance, on the other hand, immediately ran a hand through Keith’s hair, brushing the snow out of it and making Keith feel quite certain that he didn’t need a hat after all.

“Here,” Lance said, yanking off his own hat and jamming it on Keith’s head before he could so much as say a word of protest.

“What? Lance, no, you’re going to freeze,” Keith said, about the remove the hat, when Lance grabbed his hand to stop him.

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” Lance assured him.

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Keith accused, but lowered his hand all the same. “You know I don’t get as cold as easily as you.”

“Yeah, but I know you get sick a lot more easily than I do,” Lance pointed out.

“Are you saying you’re tired of visiting me?” Keith teased.

“I’m saying I’m tired of seeing you miserable,” Lance said, his hand having gone from holding back Keith’s hand to brushing a few strands of hair out of Keith’s face in so tender a motion Keith could almost fool himself into thinking there was something more than friendship there.

“Oh,” Keith breathed. “Well, thank you.”

“No problem,” Lance said with a grin. “Have fun stitching stars in the sky!”

“Don’t get too roughed up by snatchers today,” Keith called after him, as Lance made to go his own way.

Lance twirled around, shooting Keith a cheeky, troublemaking smile. “No promises.”

He walked into the replacer’s department feeling as though he was already flying, and didn’t even notice at first when Allura looked at him with a strange expression. He did notice eventually, of course, because she didn’t greet him as pleasantly as she normally would. By now he knew that usually meant she was in a bad mood, but she didn’t look at all angry or upset—merely curious.

“What?” Keith inquired of her searching gaze.

“That’s Lance’s hat,” she stated.

Romelle did a double take at that, and added, “Oh, you’re right, it is. Keith, did you know that’s Lance’s hat?”

“Yes, I know,” Keith huffed, as he absently performed his routine checks on his altitude mask. “He let me borrow it because I forgot mine.”

He glanced at Allura again when she didn’t immediately reply, and found her looking quite incredulous. “You’re joking,” she said.

“No, I’m not,” Keith assured her.

Allura and Romelle glanced at each other. They did that often, Keith had noticed, as though talking in a language of looks that only they understood. It was confusing at best, and infuriating at worst. Today it fell somewhere in the middle, at mildly irritating, given they seemed to be acting as though they knew something that Keith didn’t.

“Sorry,” Allura apologized. “Only, Lance has never even let me borrow so much as a scarf if he has to be out in the cold, and he’s known me longer than anyone. Even when we were dating—“

“You guys used to date?” Keith asked, exasperated because, really, just how out of the loop was he and how long was that going to last?

“Yes, for a little while in high school, but ultimately we wanted different things in life,” Allura quickly explained. “But seriously, he just gave it to you? Just like that?”

Keith nodded, and again Allura and Romelle looked at each other, this time with very poorly hidden smiles.

“He just knows that I get sick easily!” Keith protested, though against what he wasn’t yet entirely sure. He had his suspicions though. “He doesn’t want me getting sick again.”

“Awfully sweet of him,” Romelle commented with a nod.

“Very much so,” Allura agreed, mirroring Romelle’s nod.

Keith rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get to work.”

They did indeed get to work, but not before Allura and Romelle insisted on taking a slight detour, lengthwise along the comet that was passing far overhead. It would give the searchers a lot of grief, but replacers would be free of the snow, working well above the comet. Allura and Romelle dove in and out of the tail of the comet, coming out crusted with ice but laughing as though it weren’t an inconvenience at all. Keith had never thought to fly near a comet, and even then they didn’t pass by very frequently. He tentatively ran a hand through it, marvelling at the shower of glittering snow that resulted. He was just about to dive in after Romelle and Allura, just to see what the inside of a comet was like, when someone who wasn’t Romelle or Allura popped out just in front of him, nearly knocking Keith off his broom.

“Keith!” an all too familiar voice called out.

Lance circled around to fly beside Keith, and Keith noticed that several more people, all Bureau workers, were playing in and around the comet. This, then, must be the team Lance had been working with. Lance’s hair was well frosted with ice and snow, which Keith didn’t hesitate to brush out for him. He didn’t fail to notice just how red with cold Lance’s ears and cheeks were.

“You sure you don’t want your hat back?” Keith called over the whipping wind and the whooping of everyone diving in and out of the comet tail.

“I’m sure!” Lance replied. “Have you gone in the tail yet?”

Keith shook his head, and Lance asked if Keith had ever gone inside a comet before, to which Keith still answered no. Appalled, Lance urged Keith to follow him in, and follow him he did, straight down into the tail of the comet. If he hadn’t been so bundled up, Keith was certain that the prickling of ice would be incredibly painful. As it was, it all thumped harmlessly against his outer layers, and Keith was able to appreciate the beauty of the interior of the comet. It had a light all its own, though before the fall, Keith was certain, comets reflected the light of the sun just like anything else. Nearby, Lance practically danced in the air, inching ever closer to the body of the comet. He seemed to be reaching, but for what Keith couldn’t tell, until he’d grabbed hold of whatever it was, whirled around and hurled it right at Keith.

Keith liked to think that if he hadn’t been caught unawares he would’ve been able to dodge the snowball, but Lance had hit him dead center—Keith was certain that it hadn’t just been luck. Naturally, having been so attacked, Keith had no choice but to follow suit and retaliate. It was a bit more difficult than it looked, as the winds became exponentially stronger the closer he got to the body of the comet, but he managed to grab a fistful of snow and throw it in Lance’s direction. He wasn’t nearly as good a shot as Lance, but he did manage to catch him on the shoulder.

They ducked in and out of the tail, intermittently pelting each other with snowballs and very nearly convincing everyone else to start doing the same. Alas, they were on the clock, and they had work to do. Keith fixed his altitude mask securely to his face, and waved at Lance as he careened upwards, while Lance and his team sailed down, their investigations apparently taking them along the coast.

If Keith hadn’t already been flying, he might’ve thought he felt lighter than air.

The stars they had to replace that day took them out over the ocean, not so far that they couldn’t see the coast, but far enough that, were it not for the comet trailing almost directly underneath them, they would hardly be able to distinguish sky from sea. Save for the comet becoming an impromptu playground for the workers, it was shaping up to be another ordinary day for Keith.

Until it wasn’t.

Romelle had noticed first that something was off, being the odd one out this time as Allura held a star for Keith to stitch into place. She called out to them as soon as Keith had snipped the celestial thread, pointing out that snow was drifting all the way up to them. It wasn’t falling—rather, it was being blown all the way up from the comet, and then drifting idly back down. Below them, the comet did not so much resemble a comet anymore, looking more like a puffed up cloud of cosmic dust. Some sort of disturbance in the air currents? None of them knew if a storm was nearby, but all three doubted it—given their rarity, it was highly unlikely that a storm could approach without them knowing well in advance.

Still, it wasn’t directly affecting them just yet, so, curious as they were, they had to ignore it and get back to work. For the next star, Romelle held while Allura stitched, leaving Keith at his leisure to keep an eye on the icy storm. He’d never seen anything like it, and it didn’t sit well with him. Something in his gut told him something was afoot, but as there was nothing to suggest that something sinister was underway, there wasn’t much he could do about it.

They were just about to move on to the next star, when a distinct and dread inducing rumble rolled through the air. Allura and Romelle glanced nervously at each other, then at Keith. At present, Keith was torn—he wanted more than anything to go after her, to demand the answers that no one at the Bureau seemed keen on sharing. At the same time, he was all too conscious of the promise he’d made Lance, and while he wasn’t alone, he was certain Lance wouldn’t thank him from dragging his best friend and her girlfriend into this mess.

A crack of lightning dashed through the cloud of ice and snow.

“We need to go,” Keith finally decided. “Page some keepers, but keep your distance, as long as we’re not spotted we should be—“

The instructions were lost as an arc of lightning split the air far too close to Keith. He must’ve dropped a few hundred feet in his disorientation, for when his vision cleared he was much closer to the storm than he’d been before. His ears were ringing—if Allura and Romelle were calling for him, he couldn’t hear. He looked around, and found them darting down to regroup with him, but just before they could, another bolt of lightning shot out at them, intent on keeping them separate.

Keith waved at the other two in what he hoped was a semi-coherent manner, indicating that they should make it around the storm and regroup then. Allura and Romelle seemed to understand, and began veering wide around the storm, only to be corralled by more lightning. Keith scowled. What exactly did Terrell want from them? Keith found his patience dwindling all too quickly.

With Allura and Romelle too far to stop him, Keith dove headfirst into the storm cloud, earlier cautions be damned. The comet winds, which earlier had been strong but predictable, were now out of control, tossing Keith every which way. It was nearly impossible for him to stay on course, and were he not so impossibly stubborn, he might’ve immediately flown back out and approached from a different angle. Indeed, even now, with the ice and snow practically blinding him, Keith was considering flying out.

“Hey! There you are!” A condescending voice called out, somehow clear through the howling winds. “It’s about time I’ve found you!”

Keith looked around, unable to see Terrell through the storm. “What do you want?!”

One moment she was nowhere to be found, and the next moment Terrell was upon him, fist sparking dangerously. Her face was obscured by a heavy scarf and goggles, but Keith got the sense she was smirking wickedly.

“For you to stay out of my way!” she shouted, swinging her fist straight at Keith’s face.

Keith’s hair stood up on end as he managed to roll out of the way. He barely had time to recover before Terrell was on him again, fast and deadly as ever. Keith let himself drop through the storm, and tried to shoot up towards Terrell to knock her off balance, but a fierce gale swept him to the side, so that he flew up just behind her. The wind hardly seemed to affect her—she sliced through it easily in her pursuit of Keith.

Keith knew he wouldn’t be able to keep dodging her. She was wicked fast and not as affected as he was by the storm swirling around them. He had to buy himself some time, either to escape and page some keepers, or for keepers to arrive, if Allura or Romelle had paged them already.

“What were you trying to do at the Bureau?!” he tried as he narrowly dodged another streak of lightning.

“As if you don’t know!” she spat, growing increasingly impatient with him. “Will you stay still for a second?!”

“If I knew I wouldn’t be asking!” Keith insisted, desperate for even a few seconds to breathe.

Finally--thankfully--Terrell paused. “You really don’t know?”

“Know what?” Keith huffed. Around them, the shrieking winds calmed slightly.

Only a second later, the winds swelled again, and electricity crackled all around them, setting all of Keith’s nerves alight.

“It doesn’t matter!” Terrell shrieked as she charged at him again.

Keith could hardly keep his grip on his broom, it seemed like Terrell would actually blast him out of the sky. Keith braced himself, wind and lightning roaring in his ears. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the impending impact—but none came. Instead Terrell shouted again, sounding even more frustrated than before. Keith opened his eyes. Allura and Romelle had entered the fray, having apparently saved Keith from a certain doom.

“Exactly how many of you has the Bureau found already?!” Terrell demanded.

Keith snarled, quite done with these cryptic questions. “What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Quit playing dumb!” She screamed, whipping lightning haphazardly all around her.

Romelle, Allura, and Keith scrambled to avoid it. This wasn’t at all productive. There was no way they were taking her down, not mid-air anyways. Trying to wait for backup was far too risky, especially as Terrell became increasingly agitated. Like a cornered animal, she was becoming more ferocious, less predictable, and at that she’d never been predictable in the first place. This was a battle they couldn’t win.

“Romelle, Allura! We have to go!” Keith finally decided.

But try as they might, Terrell was intent that they shouldn’t leave now that they’d entered. Or at least, if they did leave, it shouldn’t be alive. Keith hoped a squad of keepers arrived soon.

Backup did indeed arrive, but not in the form of keepers, but rather the team from the solar task force that they’d encountered earlier, the one Lance was a part of. Sure enough, Lance came up from below, slicing through the winds as speedily as if he were apart of them, sending Terrell careening through the air.

Terrell was surrounded.

Several people were shouting, but Terrell didn’t pay them any heed. The tumbling winds reached a fever pitch. Keith found himself very nearly sliding right off his broom. They either had to subdue her, and get her to the ground, or get out of here, and the longer they lingered in the storm, the more Keith felt like it should be the latter.

Terrell charged again, this time towards Romelle. Allura intervened, crashing into Terrell’s side and nearly sending them both plummeting to the ocean below. Thunder crashed so loudly Keith couldn’t hear anything else. There were spots in his vision—the lightning was a constant now, caging them all in. Keith thought he saw Lance shouting at him, but he couldn’t hear. It looked as though he was suggesting they charge her all at once—risky, but perhaps their best shot at taking her down.

Only before they could do anything, the lightning around them was drawn towards Terrell, threatening and snapping around her fist. Too late Keith realized what was happening, the danger that Allura was in. Allura herself was trying to right herself amidst the wind after her brief tussle with Terrell, hardly aware of the danger she was in. Terrell drew her fist back, ready to strike.

Keith darted towards her, thinking that even if he couldn’t prevent her from striking, he could at least knock her aim off. But there was no way he was reaching her in time. He felt himself screaming at Allura to get out of the way. Realization lit up her eyes as Terrell shot her fist forward, but by then it was too late. Lightning split through the air, blinding and overwhelming all of Keith’s senses.

When his vision cleared, time, it seemed, had slowed to a near standstill. Suspended in the air, fresh from the impact of the lightning, was not Allura, but Lance. Distantly Keith thought he must’ve put himself in the way of the attack, because of course he would, for his dearest friend, for anyone he cared about. In the fading light of the lightning, Keith could clearly see the stunned expression on Lance’s face. He felt himself shouting, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. But it didn’t matter, not as time seemed to remember itself and resume it’s normal course.

For then, Lance began to fall.

#klance #voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #fanfic #fan fiction #the fallen and the wandering #chapter 6 #creesh.txt #yeehaw

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01/17/2018 DAB Transcript

Genesis 35:1-36:43, Matthew 12:1-21, Psalms 15:1-5, Proverbs 3:21-26

Today is the 17th day of January. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. It is my pleasure, and a true honor to be here with you today. And I say that because, if you didn't show up, what would be the point. I could just read this to myself, silently. So, I’m thankful and grateful that we have this time together to take the next step forward as we move our way further into the month of January, but further into the year in the Bible that we’re spending. So, we’re reading from the New Living Translation this week. And today we’ll read Genesis chapter 35 and chapter 36.

Commentary:

Okay. So, Jesus has himself in a bit of hot water with the Pharisees. And it's kind of unfolding exactly like Jesus was telling His disciples when He sent them out. Jesus is going out into the countryside and doing good, doing God's work, announcing the kingdom, and even demonstrating the effects of the kingdom. But in the process of doing all of that He’s also, in some ways, breaking with tradition. And He's also being suspected of blasphemy, which is a capital offense. They think He's doing this because He's announcing that He can forgive sins. But He's breaking with other traditions as well. And in today's reading we see that He's breaking tradition with the Sabbath. So, His disciples were walking through a field and they're getting some grain and there eating the grain and this is work. This is what the religious establishment has decided is work. And, so, they’re breaking the Sabbath. And Jesus defends this by simply opening the Scriptures to them. But then He's put in a situation where He may heal on the Sabbath and this has also been determined to be work. And, so He does heal this man's hand after He opens the Scriptures again and shows, like, He's showing them why He's doing what He's doing. He’s reinterpreting the tradition that they have been bound to. He's bringing light and life and health and healing, and all that's happening is that they're getting mad because He did it on the Sabbath. And Jesus declares Himself Lord over the Sabbath. And they decide then, in response, to try to figure out a way to kill Him, which invites us to consider our response when God begins to move counterintuitively in our lives, in a way that breaks with our tradition, in a way that we may not understand. Do we go back to the box and say oh well, God can't or would not be involved in that, because that does, that just works against my little tidy box of understanding? When we think about it in those terms, we understand just how much like the Pharisees we can become. But why do we do that? I mean, why do we protect the box? It's because we don't want to get it wrong, like we’re actually coming from a good place. We don't want to get it wrong. And, so, the question becomes, well, what does a person look like who's getting it right? What does that look like?

Thankfully, we have the writings of the ancient King David in Psalm chapter 15 today, where we get that definition. Who may worship in Your sanctuary, Lord? Who may enter Your presence on Your holy hill? Right? What does the person who is getting this right look like? We have an answer. Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts. Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends. Those who despise flagrant sinners in honor of the faithful followers of the Lord and keep their promises, even when it hurts. Those who lend money without charging interest. Right? In other words, those who don't take advantage. And those who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent. Such people will stand firm forever.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You into this. We can see clearly that You will shake us up and disrupt us in whatever way that You want to in Your word and cause us to think more deeply about things that we had set in concrete. And, so, that's disruptive in and of itself because it makes us ask questions that we weren't anticipating. And this is good. And we invite You into all of it. We invite You to churn inside of us, bringing up things inside of us, reframing what we think that we know, because we can't know You by knowing about You and we can't know You by following recipes or traditions. We can only know You by knowing You. And we see in the Psalms what that looks like. So, we invite you into these things. Come, Holy Spirit, draw us ever closer in relationship to You. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

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I've been mentioning for a couple of days now, looking forward to February 7th. That is three weeks from today. And I'll be speaking in Bakersfield California at New Life Church and I hope you can come, especially if you're in the area. So, this will be on a Wednesday night. And you can get all the details at dailyaudiobible.com in the Events section - websites, phone numbers, times, maps, all that kind of stuff. So, check that out. Hope to see you there.

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Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi. This is Gloria in New York. It is January 12th, Friday. And…I’m actually…I just heard a message, I don’t think you left your name, but I really appreciated the message. A thick British accent, very nice, about being backed in a corner and just God just wanting us to trust Him to get us out. And thank you for that prayer and that message. I am going back to Nevada on Monday. My mom has gotten worse. I wanted to give everyone an update because I know that there are people who are praying and I ask you to continue to pray. The reason I want to keep updating on the situations - my brother, my brother, my husband, and that pending divorce. Everything is so in limbo. Like everything, everything is in limbo. I wanted to give the update because I feel like when something breaks that we can rejoice together, like when you guys call up and give praise reports. It’s just…it’s so nice. It’s interesting when you’re listening to the podcast, it’s like you’re, oh, that was good, and then, awe, you know, you’re just...we’re going through all of our motions together as a family, everybody out there across the world. But anyway, I feel like, you know, it’s so bad right now. Tying this altogether, the message that you left, young lady, it was, yeah, I don’t know what I’m going do, I’m still so lost in all this legal stuff with my mom and she’s really not doing well. I’ve got a trust God with everything. But I feel like something…just…something has to break on some end soon, because I can’t break. So, yeah, just please continue to pray for us, for my family. Thank you. God bless you all.

All is well. I am Daniel and I share this prayer with all of my brothers and sisters listening. Father, we praise You and thank You for our Daily Audio Bible family and all those You bring onto our paths that You have already made best for us. All according to Your purpose. Father, thank You for making each one of us a masterpiece, one-of-a-kind by Your hand. Father, You have us at the right place at the right time according to Your perfect will, not our will, in Your timetable, Father, not our timetable. You are the living word and we give praise to You living inside of us. In all ways, we seek You this moment. Thank You Father that You said we are vessels, a vessel of gold used in Your highest purpose. Praise You for shaping making and molding us into the example of whose we are, a child of the most high God and You are our Father. We pray to the everlasting God. Father, You said, we have made in Your image. You said to us in Your word, I am that I am. We are blessed indeed. Father, You said, I shall lend to not borrow, that all things work together for good to those who love You for those who are called according to Your purpose, and that the wonders shall not cease, and that You will not, will not, will not fail us. Father we thank You for this day and all the long days You have promised according to Your perfect will. We are fully armored moving forward on the path You have made best for us, overflowing with the promise of Your word, more than enough abundant good, more than we can think and imagine already on our path, moving forward Father preparing us to reach that point You have in place on our paths, lifting us higher, fulfilling our purpose, reaching the destiny You framed our lives in, while we choose Your perfect will, not our will, glorifying Your name and furthering Your kingdom. In Jesus name. Amen.

Hi my Daily Audio Bible family. It’s God’s Girl in East Texas. I was listening to the January 13th podcast and a lady called in requesting prayer for her son who committed suicide on December 10th. And I just thought, oh my gosh, you know, there’s just so much pain in this life and our God, our God is there with us. I was married to a minister at one time and he nearly strangled me to death and he used to beat me a lot and then get in the pulpit and preach. I’m not telling you that for pity, but if I could write a book my book would be entitled ‘No Fear.’ And God has brought me oh mighty long way. I’m the lady with the son who’s had 7 brain surgeries. Why do these things happen? You know, God has the answers. All we can do is pray. And that’s what I do for each of you. My heart goes out to you ma’am, the lady whose son took his life. And I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, but Jesus does. And when we’re going through these things…we seem…we feel so isolated and alone, but were not. It’s just that lie of the enemy trying to make us feel like nobody cares. And Eunice, Eunice, are you’re listening to me honey, I am praying for you, I rebuke cancer in the name of Jesus. I love my Daily Audio Bible family. The Lord bless each and every one of you, and remember that Jesus is as close as the mention of His name. Take care and happy new year guys. Okay. I love you. Bye-bye.

Hi. My name is Sherry. I’m from Colorado. There’s so much going on in my mind and in my life right now. I am on a 10 day fast and it seems like the devil is just purely attacking everything, my thoughts. I work a job as a social worker that has been challenging. I am into the 24th year of my career and it is so difficult to display love and to let my life shine as a child of God, because it seems like I’m just daily, being attacked daily, when I walk into that door until sometimes I just feel like I don’t even want to go. And I pray to God all the time, in March 2019 to please release me from his job, because I can’t do it anymore. It is affected by health and each time I get up I’m thinking of how much I don’t want to go to that job. So I just ask for prayer and guidance. I ask for clarity during my fast. This is my first time I’ve done a 10 day fast. So, it is a struggle, but I know that God is able and I know that I am able to get through this with his help. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep. And, so, I know when you can sleep it’s time to talk to God. Daily Audio Bible this is my first time calling and I feel such relief. I listen to the prayers all the time. I have made a commitment that this time, the third time, I will try and listen to the whole thing. I often fall behind and miss out all the way to Revelation, but I’m determined this year. Love you all. Bye.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is John calling from Bethlehem Pennsylvania. It is the 13th of January, and I just got through listening to this day’s program. I wanted to call in to say hi to Vicki, who called in and left a prayer request for her family, Vicki, over the tragic death of your son, who took his life back on December 10th. Family let’s pray together for Vicki. Father God, we ask You to provide comfort and strength and healing during this time of excruciating pain and grief for Vicki and her family, Father God. Lord God we ask You to have mercy on her sons soul, who took his life Father God. These are things that we just can’t get our arms around Father and we just can understand but we have complete faith and we have complete trust in You. We trust You father God. In everything that we do we ask you to bring strength and courage and peace to Vicki and her family and all those impacted by this tragedy, Father God. We ask you to bring this community together in love around Vicki, so that she knows that this family is there for her in her time of need and that we will be there for her as we continue. Father God, help her to grow in faith and to be strong in this and to keep looking at You Jesus. We ask this in your mighty and precious name. Amen.

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kendrixtermina · 7 years

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Rluai is the most common for INFPs, just saying.

I think I’ve already said everything that there is to be said on the topic, but I will adress this one ask because I believe it touches on a topic that I’ve only covered in passing on this blog so far.

BIg five vs. MBTI and possible correlations.

There is not actually that much data that correlates which results where commonly received by the same people (some forums and tumblr’s own eilamona have attempted surveys though these would be biased by tumblr’s distribution not being RL’s and the usual trappings of self-reporting)

Also, with the Big 5 having 2x2x2x2x2 = 32 categories and thus few people in every category, you would need huge sample sizes and methodical proceeding to get significant correlations. “The most” could mean anything from one percent point more than the others or “over half”; a simple tally is no statement about distribution, and even a strong distribution spike is not equivalency.

See, for example, how ISTJs correlate with enneagram. There is actually a clear distinct tedency with 90% of ISTJs being one of 3 types, but each of those (1, 6 and 5) accounts for roughly a third of those 90% so it would be idiotic to say that say, being a 6 means you must be ISTJ. What about non 6 ISTJs? What about 6s who are ISFJ?

So even if most RULAIs are INFPs, all that tells you is that tells you is that if you’re both, you’re in the majority. But to tell the probability that a RULAI is INFP or a given INFP is RULAI, you would need to know either how many of all total RULAIs are INFPs, or how many INFPs are not RULAIs.

I’m pretty sure I met some INFPs who were distinctly “E” (mostly 4w3s and/or soc-blinds) or “C” (chiefly 9w1s) for example, though I’d be surprised to find one who claims to be SCxxN.

It’s called “Bayes’s theorem” and one of the many examples why the world would be much better if basic logic and probability theory were taught in schools.

What more, much of what is out there on the correlating of mbti and big 5 is people trying to find some sort of equivalency between the systems, often based on a very dichotomous (and therefore, shallow) understanding of mbti that disregards the differences between them as independent metrics. See also “16 personaliies.org” and their attempt to add the neurotism metric (-A/T) which really just mucked up their test.

Often this is supposed top validate mbti by tying it to the much renowned and supposedly so stable big 5 system - but big 5′s supposed stability and consistency comes from being a much simpler, shallower system: It really is just a ranking of specific traits or the lack thereof on a dichotomous scale. You either are orderly and reliable (”conscientious”) or you aren’t. You can get assigned a percentage to represent stronger or weaker tendencies.

Big 5 asks you “are you X?” You tell it “yes/no/maybe” and then it gives you a profile saying you are indeeed “Yes/no/maybe” on the X scale, and that for each trait. That can be useful for some applications, like correlating those traits with lifestyle choices or opinions or screening people for very demanding jobs, but it is virtually useless for the purposes most typology is used for - such as self-development or communication.

It ranks you on a scale, but it does not really tell you anything you didn’t know before. It simply discribes, but doesn’t postulate any internal logic or structure - It doesn’t have explanatory or predictive power. It doesn’t elucidate your inner workings, does not tell you how to get along better with a given type. It simply measures wether you are good at five things (socializing, keeping calm, being organized, making others like you, keeping an open mind) or not. There’s no advantage to being “Egocentric”, “Unstructured” or “Non-Curious.”

Big 5 measures 5 independent metrics and the combination thereof, so “RULEI” (RUxEI supposedly most common for INTP) is would not be that different from RULAI, after all that’s 4 or 5 matching! The difference is simply that the person goes a little further in not needlessly pissing people off, especially if the preference toward “A” is only weak one.

Meanwhile, consider INFJ vs INFP. One letter apart. Sure there are many similarities but also many fundamental differences because it’s not just one letter: It means your valued functions are completely opposite. They will share traits common to all introverts, feelers and intuitives, but differ completely where functon-specific communication and reasoning differences are concerned.

You could label yourself as “INFx” because you’re unsure about your actual type but you can’t actually be “in-between” because unlike Big 5, MBTI is not a combination of 5 scales, but a discreet classificator.

The MBTI and all tests based on it as well as sister/branch theories like socionics are built upon the idea of the Jungian Functions, diffent distinct types of reasoning and information processing that CG Jung believed to have identified in the human mind. The system comes with the base axiom that you can have one of 8 dominant functions, and that’s it, and you’ve got to at least humor that idea for a while to assin yourself a MBTI type, and each function comes with a set of both likely (present often) and fixed (present always) traits that will be shared between the great majority of that functions. - which is what gives mbti more predictive and explanatory power.

Someone being “Unstructured” just tells you they’re not a great organizer; Someone being a Perceiver implies a great deal about their way of thinking and decision making, be it neutral good or bad, and if you knew if they’re SP or NP you could infer even more, not always hard predictions but certainly probalities.

Just from the definitations that both the 5 traits and the functions have by definition it figures that some combinations are more frquent than others (for the same reason that, say, an ISFJ core 8 sounds pretty unlikely) but that does not a hard equivalency make, especially since big 5 allows for twice as many possibilities.

The idea that you can just convert mbti letters to Big 5 letters as if the letters were all there were is fallacious.

Indeed

Some things do correlations:

R/S with I/E for obvious reasons/ pretty much by design. Intro vs extroversion is one of the most obvious differences in human personalities and hence where any metric to sort those would start.

But this is where it stops/ where things get weird or interesting depending on your PoV.

L/C shows a very weak correlation but is almost evenly split among T/F.

A/E shows some correlaton of A with F and E with T correlating with the stereotype of how Feelers are “generally nicer” but it’s not a hard

The oddest result is that intuitives are almost always Inquisitive but Sensors can be both and are evenly split overall with individual types having their own preferences. This isn’t just split among Si/Se lines as some stereotypes might suggest, ESTPs for example are very commonly Non-curious, but again, not always.

These traits also veer into what we might call morals so they would pose. If people were predisposed toward their morals and could not be convinced, if the were “hardwired” so to speak the whole idea of morality would be pointless, for with what authority would you “blame” someone for being close minded or a jerkif they’re just following their programing?, but it is equally pointless morality as a blackbox even though we are comming closer and closer to understanding the brain.

There’s also this tendency of treating anything we can detect as “organic” and everything we cannot as “mental”, a Soul Of The Gaps if you will (analoous to God Of The Gaps) but we know all mental processes are in the brain somehow, (because it can be destroyed by specific brain injuries, for example) so would explaining it all mean putting it all outside a person’s responsibility?

Hidden in there is the false assumpton that the biologically explicable is “permanent” and thats true of some parts but the strenght of nerve connections can be as temporary as the state of a computer.

Adding the problem that people do no sufficiently differentiate between facts and their interpretation. A fact is what is real regardless of what we think about it or wether we even know it. An interpretation is what a human think is ~means~ which matters only to humans.

Fact: The earth goes around the sun

Interpretation A: See humans? you are not special.

Interpretation B: See humans’ You’re not that bad. We get to participate in the “Dance of the stars”

(AThe latter was actually written by a humanist writer of Kopernikus’ own time. if the earth goes round the sun, it is not “down” (where hell is) or “up” (where god is) as many geocentric worldviews implied. “Up or down” becomes utterly meaningless with heliocentrism. )

Fact: The brains of Liberals and Conservatives show differences in scans

Interpretation A: The people are Conservatives or Liberals because of inborn characteristics

From this you could then derive corollary a) All politics is meaningless bullshit if we do not really “chose” it or c) Some politics is wrong, so some people (the ones you agree with) are better than others

Interpretation B: Peoples show differences because they are conservatives or liberals - the brain regions is how their opinion is “stored” and the media bubbles “train” them for characteristic reactions

Interpretation C: Some people are more suceptible to certan kinds of propaganda, we [correct opinion] must phrase our message so it reaches those who are easily misled so they don’t end up voting againt their interest. [Your opinion] is, after all, the best for everyone.

Of course interpretations can become invalid if they don’t account for additional facts. If they scanned children and they had those characteristics before they even know what politics is, B goes out the window - Meanwhile if you scanned people before and after their opinions changed and the corresponing brain regions changed, too, B might increase in likelihood

Another complicated factor is that people are more likely to see something as a neutral/preferential rather than a moral issue if they think it’s inborn.

A common anti-homophobia argument is “But it’s inborn!” which is used because it seems to convince a lot of people even though it has nothing to do with homosexual acts themselves. If we could all choose wether to screw men, women, enbies or no one at all, wouldn’t it still not be anyone else’s business if it harms no one?

by contrast, Once upon a time “orderliness/discipline” was regarded as a moral thing, hence the very word “concientiousness” but now we don’t as much and there are cultural differences (some midwestern americans see foul language as a “moral failing” (”Good christians don’t swear”) rather than simply inappropiate or rude. )

Plenty to discuss here.

But basically, Big 5 and mbti are not equivalent and work by different principles indeed attempts to treat mbti like big 5 have probably resulted in a lot of the less reliable tests out there.

#mbti #big 5 #typology

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carstairsdaily · 7 years

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Lord of Shadows Review & Analysis! SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

On another note about spoilers, I get that seeking out spoilers as well as snippets, are a product of waiting so long for the next book… but I don’t know that I will treat them the same way going into QOAAD because I almost felt, while reading, that I had read 35% of the book already! I can’t promise that I won’t seek out spoilers or snippets, but I do hope that less are released over the next two years (I know that sounds ridiculous, but I would prefer a surprise!) With Regards to Individual Characters: • Emma: a feminist badass, growing into being the best shadowhunter of her time but not there yet. Her sarcasm and skill has improved since LM, and I literally laughed out loud during her POV’s and while reading her quotes. The scene with her and Diego and the fire ants= pure gold. Her scene with Manuel and calling out the cohort for being fascists= pure gold. • Julian: a sweetheart and I want to cry thinking about how much he has been through. I know “Dark Julian” has been referenced several times throughout the fandom but I really didn’t see too much of a change until- actually- the steamy scene with Emma where he demands that she calls him only Julian. Very sexy, very dark too. • Cristina: deserves better and I am dying for more of her POV’s. I am always amazed by her class and maturity. • Diego: not perfect. I am mad at him. • Kit: surprisingly likeable. I am so glad they included POV’s with him and Jace!! • Livia: underrated as hell, so sweet, so caring, so selfless, her charm and sarcasm= gold. • Ty: I AM SO GLAD WE ARE FINALLY STARTING TO SEE T Y B L A C K T H O R N AND HIS TRUE SELF-A M E N. • Dru- her crush on Jaime is fitting for a first crush and I’m glad he gave her the confidence to speak up. I want to hug her literally all the time. • Tavvy- irrelevant but cute. SHIPS: • I surprisingly loved Mark and Emma’s dynamic. Their relationship reminded me of a mundane high school sweetheart kind of relationship, because you can tell they absolutely care about each other, I just don’t see them as anything more than a bromance. I will however agree with the sentiment, "maybe in another life" because maybe, in another series, in another world, they would have been perfect for each other. • Kieran/Mark/Cristina: I find it significant that no choices were made in terms of canon relationships, which I interpret as a canon friendship because if any of them were going to be romantically involved, a decision would be made by now. I enjoy the friendship they have, I surprisingly forgave Kieran, but I do not expect any of the Blackthorns or Emma to forgive him also. His actions in QOAAD will definitely define how I feel about him going forward. • JEMMA: You all know I am 100% a Jemma shipper, but this time around I was glad that their relationship did not overshadow the rest of the book. I liked how private their relationship was, which is a funny word to use because people become more privy to it in LOS and because it was extremely private in LM, but the fact that they were literally in a different part of their country on their own made me all happy. • I am also glad that I got the B&N copy with the extra scene, which I waited to read because it is right after the ending of the book and I did not want to read anything after finishing LOS, lol. • Kitty: No canon romantic relationship yet, still very cute scenes… Ill talk about this in theories. • Kit/Livia: I am glad that Livvy’s first kiss was Kit, and not some random boy who won’t treasure the memory or look back and think “oh she was sweet, it’s a shame what happened to her”. Kit will always treasure the fact that he was Livia’s first kiss, and will cherish the friendship he had with her. It was platonic, but still special. I know people on tumblr were upset with this but I hope by the end of the book they understood. PROFOUND THINGS IN LOS • Lets talk about the fact that Emma Carstairs literally doesn’t cry….. but she cried over Julian literally 400 times in Lord of Shadows. If that doesn’t show you how much she literally loves that boy idk what will. • CLARY SHIPS JEMMA. During their conversation Clary literally says “who I pictured you with [not Mark or Cameron] doesn’t make sense….” This goes back to my question to CC about whether or not Simon knows about Jules and Emma, since he noticed something off during the parabatai ceremony. She responded “he knows something, he just doesn’t know what he knows”. I think the same applies to Clary, maybe she has even had premonitions about it, and that is so so significant. #jemmaisendgame • Kit and Livia and Ty’s friendship: so sweet and pure and is literally the reason why Kit decides to stay. How will Ty and Kit function without their third musketeer? • DRU & JAIME: Thank you Jaime for giving Dru the confidence to confront her family over her role as a Shadowhunter… but the witchlight you left behind that literally portals to another dimension: WTF? WHO IS ASH????? That scene is messed up because it is so short and therefore, subconsciously everyone looks over it because of how chaotic everything else is. I can’t help but feel like this is going to play a MASSIVE role in QOAAD. • Diana & Gwyn: Thank you CC for trans representation and a beautiful story. The fact that Gwyn accepts her wholeheartedly made my chest ache, and I hope that no one will use it against her please please please. • Jules & Emma’s Decision to tell the Inquisitor: Not sure why they did this tbh, but now that Robert is dead, what are their options??? Did he mark it down somewhere? Will they become so irrational that they consider the Seelie Queen’s offer? Livia’s Death • Months ago I received an anon message from someone about Livvy, which literally said that they felt something was going to happen to her and I completely dismissed it…. Thinking we haven’t seen enough of her storyline yet and it was too soon. I AM SO SORRY, and it’s literally all I have been thinking about for days. • Livia was so so selfless, down to her core, the last moments of her life were spent trying to save the people she loves. • I discussed with a mutual that the fact that Annabel did it was both cruel and also extremely fitting. • When you think about it, Livvy was the 21st century version of Annabel. From their appearance, which was remarkably similar, to the way that they treated outsiders taking refuge in their family (Livvy with Kit, Annabel with Malcolm) down to their deaths, both innocents killed trying to protect the ones they love. • The fact that the Mortal Sword shattered to me symbolized the end of the truth and trust within the Clave. • The amount of guilt that each character will carry following these deaths is heartbreaking… • i sincerely hope her death is not tossed to the side, discussed for 150 pages then only mentioned 4-5 times after that because she deserved better, the entire Blackthorn family did, and peace was completely ripped away from them Which brings me to my first theory: I believe there was a reason that Jessamine was introduced to TDA, not only to highlight Kit’s Herondale-ness, but also as a foreshadowing of another character who is not at peace, feels that there is unfinished business, and a group of people needing to be protected: Livia. Because it was made clear in the book that necromancy and raising the dead is forbidden, and because QOAAD takes place a week later, Livvy’s chances of being raised are very very very slim. I sincerely believe that she will come back, but not to life. It would be fitting of her to come back as a ghost (not at first but definitely later in the story) and for her to protect her family, and give Kit and Ty the OK to do whatever they want to do (whether its be a couple or become parabatai, or go to the Scholomance) More theories: • Though I predict a dark Julian, I do not predict a dark/irredeemable Julian, who digs himself into such a big hole that he can’t climb out of it. Remember he has two anchors: his family, and Emma… • The Rosales brothers, especially with their plans to overthrow the Cohort and fool Zara are going to play a massive role in QOAAD. • I think that Jemma are going to have to confide in Jem and Tessa, and they will end up helping Jules and Emma with the parabatai curse. I am also sure they will play a big role in the next book. • Unpopular Opinion: I do not think Clary will die. I know she thinks she will, but CC did say QOAAD is lighter (in regards to themes) than LOS, and I just do not think it would be a lighter book if Clary, a significant character, dies. I think she will become close to death, and people will become concerned, then she will tell Jace of her fears and say yes to his proposal. However, I could very well be wrong!! •i do predict the Cohort being in power for a short amount of time….. because they represent members of our society, I do not think they will be shut down so easily because that’s not realistic. Despite this, hope and love always win. I trust that this will remain true in the next book. • I do predict the end of the Cold Peace, it was never ever a good idea and no one likes it. • I predict that Drusilla will be a hero, now that her older sister has passed away and she has finally decided to step up as a Shadowhunter, I do not doubt that the role she plays will be significant, it just seems to be a reasonable underdog story. • Kitty: parabatai or lovers? An important decision, because Kit does reference his thoughts about being parabatai with Ty, and Ty finally says yes to being parabatai with Livvy. I think it’s a possible “that’s what Livvy would have wanted” trope, but I could also be wrong and think its about as equal of a chance of them becoming lovers. • Who will the new head of the LA Institute be? I sincerely doubt it will go to someone the Blackthorns do not know or trust. They have had so much taken from them, the Institute does not deserve to go next. Possibly Cristina? Will Jules or Emma be of age? Jem or Tessa following the end of the Cold Peace? We have to see! • ASH… I am just frustrated that we do not know more about him… I don’t even have a theory I just needed an excuse to talk about him again. Questions and Theories from my mutuals!!!!! • Anonymous: Its 3 am and I am literally just crying on my bed because of the book. >> Relatable!! I cried hours after I finished because I was so sad. The ending really got me! • Anonymous: Do you think Jaime and Dru are endgame? She is 13 and hes like 17 but he thinks she’s 16. Idk, they seem to have a nice friendship but not a romantic relationship in my opinion.. >> Agreed! I honestly think CC included this first crush idea as a way of introducing Dru’s further character development, not necessarily to introduce them as a couple… But also think about Cecily and Gabriel!!! They were about the same ages at the time, even though that was a different time period… anything is possible, but I do not ship them romantically! • VirginaNewman: I loved LOS, however I was indeed disappointed that Helen + Aline make a debut in the LAST chapter! >> I definitely thought Helen and Aline would play a larger role in LOS, they were barely mentioned, barely had any scenes… I was disappointed by their small role too, but I am interested to see how hard they fight to stay in the next book. Ps- the scene where Aline basically tells Zara to shut her fucking mouth is GOLD. • Betweenshadesoftessagray- Since Robert’s dead, its going to be a race to get that spot, with probably Zara’s father trying to become Inquisior. And since Robert was the one who could help Emma and Julian with the exile thing, they really don’t know what to do with it. I think the powers will continue to grow, and since I think the main battle of QOAAd is going to be a battle where the warlocks and nephilim cannot use their runes/warlock magic, maybe their parabatai magic will still work and that’s how they win. I have already stated that I think there is going to be a battle in QOAAD without being able to use rune magic and the warlocks not being able to use their magic, but this didn’t fit in my other ask I just realized something that made my theory more solid: in the beginning, Zara says she went to Hungary because they were claiming their weapons were not working and she said it was incompetence, so the blight is already spreading not only in Idris but everywhere else. >> This is such a well thought out theory and I wish I could give a formal response but I definitely need to go back, reread, and analyze this… I didn’t even realize the significance of Shadowhunters and warlocks including Magnus losing their powers!! Wow! Is this because of the Black Volume? I definitely think Emma and Julian’s parabatai/love powers will play a huge role in QOAAD and maybe even save the day during this second Dark War. Maybe that’s how they will become heros, their bond will be broken as a reward or something and everyone can live happier ever after? AHH! • Share your theories and thoughts in the comments below or inbox me (not on Anon so I can respond privately!!!)

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