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riddikulus-writings · 3 years

Text

Take A Nap

A/N: So yeah. I have a long, in depth fic for these two that's chock full of secrets and fluff and Actual Backstory but for some reason all I can write is smut. This is part two to Escapades and takes place just after the police van rolled down that hill. Also, can someone let me know if that link I tried doesn’t work? I’m still new to writing on this blue hellsite

Word Count: 1734

Pairing: Rick Flag x Female Reader [Codename Nyx, after the Greek Goddess]

Warnings: Still not really any plot, sorry guys. The plot for this is hidden elsewhere. Vaginal fingering. Semi-public sex. Dirty talk. Rick still won't shut up but he really should, though, people are trying to sleep. Choking. Uh, nothing makes sense, really? Movie innacuracies due to the fact this is now a bigger vehicle than the hippie van they were cruising around in, but the same concept still applies.

Apparently, the van was on fire. One by one they stepped from the wreckage, walking out into the road, weapons in hand. Nyx wished she could’ve taken a picture, because she was positive they probably looked pretty cool.

Disoriented. Possibly concust. But cool.

And suddenly, rolling to a stop, was the small dusty van they'd rode to town in. Abner was in the open slider door, waving them in. DuBois puffed out his chest, "Alright. To Jotunheim."

"Not yet," Rick stopped him, "There's something else we need to do first."

"Stop standing like you have an American Flag waving behind you and get in the fucking mini bus, Flag."

Nyx's voice shook him out of his reverie; he was the last one outside. He jogged to catch the bus before it began moving faster, piling in the door and sliding it shut behind him. His eyes immediately found Nyx, seated in the very back. Rick beelined for her through the others and took up the space on her right. Peacemaker called to him from a seat up, "So, where are we going, now?"

"The Mayor's mansion in town," Rick told him, "We need to get Harley."

"Oh, I miss her," Nyx mused quietly.

Oh yeah. Rick cringed to himself, remembering the three missions he, Nyx and Harley had been on before he’d requested to Waller that Harley be benched more often than not. The first had gone by fine, minimal issues. The second was better. No deaths, no infighting amongst the Squad. Nyx had loosened up around other people by then and banter even happened. And the third--

Ain’t it normally the gal makin’ heart eyes at the guy and not the other way around, Ricky?

He’d shaken his head and given Harley a stern glare for assuming things. Harley had simply given him her smuggest million dollar grin and continued about her own business and not his.

“Suicide Squad to Mr. Flag,” a hand was waving in his eyes, slowly coming into focus. It was Nyx’s hand, but Cleo’s heavily accented voice, “What’s the plan?”

Rick cleared his throat, looking among his teammates, “Peacemaker high up, across the street. Sniper for any possible danger. Cleo,” he pointed at her, “Abner and, uh… Sebastian… are around back. Take out any guards back there. DuBois scales the wall to the top, Nyx and I keep watch.”

“Question,” Nyx raised her hand up, “Why can’t we just walk in the front door?”

"That would give us away," Peacemaker told her blatantly, "Instant capture. Dumb idea."

"You're a dumb idea," she retorted, "Actually, a bad idea was bringing you along."

Whoa. Everyone's eyebrows shot up, "Nyx, what the fuck? No infighting. Knock it off," Rick's voice was low but firm with authority.

"He's-- he's got bad vibes about him," Nyx's words slurred, "I-I just don't like him."

"No one does," DuBois told her, patting the very quiet Peacemaker on the shoulder, "Everyone try to get some rest before we get to town. It's going to be a while."

The rest of the team hunkered down in their seats, leaning against their respective windows or leaning forward with their heads against the seat ahead of them. Cleo snuggled into Nanaue's side, and Peacemaker went as far as laying completely flat on his back, his thick splayed legs hanging in the aisle.

Rick reached over and tugged Nyx across the bench seat they were seated on, sliding her into his side, "What’s up between you and Peacemaker?" His voice was quiet, muffled against the hair at her temple.

She ducked away from him a little, tucking her head under his chin, "I've been with him a bit longer than you have. I just… can't explain it but I don't like him. He makes me uneasy."

Rick's thumb started rubbing circles in her hip, "So many trust issues."

"I have my reasonings," she yawned up at him, "Secret reasonings."

"Oh, I'm sure you do," he whispered, grabbing her chin with his free hand so he could look her in the eye. The dim moonlight through the window made her eyes seem almost black, "Extra secret reasonings, huh?"

Nyx leaned closer, staring at his mouth instead of his eyes, "Top secret."

Rick hummed in agreement and closed the gap, sealing his mouth over hers. He wasted no time dipping his tongue into her mouth, drinking in her moans before they could get too loud. He gently pushed on her, laying her down across the length of the seat. Rick followed her down, nestling himself between her legs. Nyx planted a foot on the seat beside Rick’s thigh as he hitched the other into the crook of his elbow, “Gonna be quiet?” he asked quietly, lightly peppering kisses down her neck. Sucking on her now-exposed collarbone.

She whined, a breathless whisper as she nodded desperately, trying to grind her hips against something. Rick moved back up, his free hand moving around her neck, “Quiet.”

He slowly lowered her leg, her boot softly hitting the floor. Rick sent a sidelong glance through the rest of the dark bus, and so far no one had moved from their previous positions. Thank God for that. What a sight they’d wake up to; Nyx spread over the only bench seat here, Rick looming over her, a hand around her throat. They’d either think he was trying to kill her, or get very uncomfortable very fast and ask him to stop.

Which, he wasn’t about to do whether someone woke up or not.

He turned his attention back to the panting woman beneath him, raising an eyebrow at the grin spread over her face. The more pressure he applied to her throat, the wider her lips spread. His right hand worked at the buttons of her black pants, “Filthy little thing,” he muttered, “There’s other people on this bus.” Rick snaked his hand down the front of her pants, stroking down her dripping sex, “All for me?”

“That is you,” she panted out, grabbing the back of his head to pull him down for another searing kiss. When he scooped his cum back up with two fingers and pushed them inside, Nyx bit his bottom lip so hard he was sure she’d drawn blood. He leaned into it, pushing his tongue on her mouth again as he worked his fingers and scissored her open.

“Quiet,” he admonished, again, pressing his free hand against her throat once more. He pinned her to the seat, squeezing his hand as tight as he’d let himself, “Gonna wake everyone up,” he breathed out, his nose brushing against hers.

Again, Nyx’s grin grew, her pearly teeth glowing in the shards of moonlight passing through the windows, “Good.”

Rick almost growled but couldn’t without fear of waking someone up. Instead he buried his face in her shoulder, “Fuckin’ filthy little thing,” he repeated, curling his fingers against that certain spongy spot he’d found that made her grind hard into the palm of his hand, “Gonna be a good girl and keep me in there?” She whined out a high pitched yes but otherwise stayed breathless, quiet pants crawling up her throat and Rick wanted nothing more than to shove his cock in her open mouth. He pulled up from her neck, almost sneering with the strain of trying to stay quiet as he worked his thumb up to the peak of her cunt, “Want you to cum all over my hand, sweetheart. Gonna do that for me? See if you can stay quiet.”

“Bastard,” was the whimper he got.

“That’s not very nice,” he told her, pressing his thumb hard on her clit. Her arm suddenly flew up to cover her face, Nyx burying her face in the crook of her elbow as Rick buried a third finger deep in her cunt, his thumb rubbing fast circles. He moved his hand from her throat, sliding it instead to her hip to hold her down as she bucked into his hand, “C’mon, almost there. I got you,” he muttered.

Her hips stuttered, low whines coming muffled by her elbow. She was choking his fingers and he had to remove one so he could keep them moving, working her through her orgasm. Rick’s hand got soaked suddenly and she went limp, her only movement coming from her chest that moved with rapid breaths, “Bitch.”

Rick tugged her arm from her face as he slid his hand from her pants, “What’s the matter, Nyx?”

“I--” she panted out, “hate being-- quiet.”

He flashed her a bright grin and tugged her pants back into place, giving her stomach a gentle pat, “You didn’t have to,” a quick peck on the lips, “But it would’ve been a bit awkward for the others. Especially when I wouldn’t stop.” Another whimper, and he raised an eyebrow at her, but simply stuck his fingers in his mouth.

“I’m going to sleep,” she whispered, dropping her hand off the side of the seat. Her knuckles brushed the floor. The other arm folded behind her head.

“I sure fuckin’ hope so,” DuBois grumbled from somewhere up front. “You two are disgusting.”

"No one told you to listen," Rick shot back, his whisper loud enough for DuBois to hear over Nyx's stifled giggles. Rick was grinning, though; thankfully Bloodsport couldn't see it.

"Someone needs to nap," Nyx murmured, a small smirk plastered over her mouth, "He sounds cranky."

“You ain't laying down there,” Rick suddenly tugged her back up to snuggle into his side, his arm draped over her shoulders as he scooted them both to the end of the seat, “Leanin’ or layin’?”

“Lay,” she yawned.

He turned and pressed his back to the window, head lolling to the side to lean on the seat. After some shuffling, she was between his legs, back to his chest. HIs arms wrapped around her, one leg from each of them on the seat and the other leg on the floor. They looked like they had the same boots on. Nyx nuzzled her head into his shoulder, “Y’smell nice…”

“I smell like jungle and sweat,” he chuckled, his laugh vibrating through her, “And blood. Go to sleep.”

And they both dozed off like that, just as they had several times before on Nyx’s couch. Their breathing evened, Nyx drooling a little onto Rick’s bicep. Rick shifted in his sleep and snugged her closer to his chest.

#Rick Flag #Rick Flag x reader #Rick Flag x female reader #rick flag smut #the suicide squad #Rick Flag The Suicide Squad #dc #dceu #suicide squad fan fiction #suicide squad fanfiction #rick flag imagine #rick flag one shot #dceu fan fiction

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crushing-on-nico-di-angelo · 3 years

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This is kind of a random question but...

Do you know why people hate Rick Riordan?

I just have no information, and I’ve seen a lot of stuff lately talking about how he’s problematic.

hi!! yes, I've seen things about this as well. I can list the reasons I've seen. I don't agree with all the points made, but its just what I've seen and I think it may answer your question. I also recommend going through the tag #rr crit, as it will give you a lot more and detailed information regarding him (beware: there are quite a few buzzwords. I recommend taking the facts and forming your own conclusions). I also think it's important to note that many people don't hate him, but they acknowledge that since he's a cishet white man there's things he didn't handle well and he needs to listen to critisicm.

Completely mishandled Piper's native American heritage. From the feather in her hair, to her dad being from a reservation that doesn't exist in Oklahoma, to having kaleidoscope eyes (some say that it suggests brown eyes aren't beautiful enough for aphrodite, more on this in the next bullet), to being a kleptomaniac, her character is, ignorantly or purposefully, chock full of stereotypes. having a cornucopia being her weapon. when Rick was told that this isn't good he became defensive and didn't listen to any critisicm

not giving female characters chances to be young, or not have a boyfriend or be unconventionally attractive. if they do get to not have a boyfriend, they're thrown into the Hunters of Artemis. their eyes are anything but brown (I do disagree with the eye thing but it's important to note), suggesting that having brown eyes should be considered less than. Sadie got a 1000 year old boyfriend when she was 14. 13 year old Hazel had a 16 year old boyfriend-- that could be a seventh grader and a junior or a freshman and sophomore depending on how you look at it (and I LOVE frazel, don't get me wrong. the age gap is just,,). in fact, the only female non-hunter without a significant other I can name is Meg, and she's 12.

Sadie Kane and the fanart he boosts of her. he frequently shows her looking completely white, despite saying she "stood out in class for being mixed." It honestly wouldn't surprise me if a white girl were cast to play her in the Netflix movies.

treatment of characters with invisible disabilities. this can range from the coment of "You anemic loser" targeted at Octavian (as someone with an iron deficiency, I don't see anything wrong with it, but cmon. kids can see that, rick. you can't control anemia) to Clovis' chronic fatigue being treated as a joke. invisible disabilities are hard and just as painful as physical ones. it doesn't help if you treat them like that.

too much misogyny to list all of it, but we can start with young girls being expected to be, and acting, more mature than they are; the strong female characters portraying the "I'm not like other girls" trope; the entire way Hera was treated.

The way Nico's outing was handled (this is one I especially disagree with, and this post said it best, thanks ghost). A violent outing by the God of love taking place before Nico was ready, according to some, was not what younger gay people needed to see. he should have had a loving environment and, at the very least, it should have been from his own point of view and not Jason's.

anti-acne and fat phobia: Apollo having a deep hatred towards his acne and Frank's glow up including severe weight loss (not being a cuddly teddybear anymore, getting taller) isn't the best thing for kids who have acne or are fat to see.

Samirah al-Abbas: "reversing the stereotype (Rick's words)" of an arranged marriage by having her be in love with a distant cousin is... not reversing the stereotype at all actually. it just falls into it. Having her take off her hijab around floor 19 because they feel like family is also not great, because, to my understanding as a non-hijabi and non-muslim, that is not how being hijabi works. similar to the piper situation, when Rick was told that this isn't good he became defensive and didn't listen to any critisicm

ANTISEMITISM, ANTISEMETISM, ANTISEMITISM. this is one of the ones I agree with the most. Having Hades' children be Nazis, having a plot point revolve around one of the most traumatic events in world history, ignoring the fact of generational trauma and ignoring the fact that It Didn't Matter That It Took Place In World War Three, it could have not had any correlation to the death of over six million Jewish people. it legitimizes evilsurrounding Hades and death, and -- well, this one makes me so mad, I can't explain all of it so here is a post explaining more in depth

Slavery issues: similar to the holocaust, Rick Riordan made one of the most terrible issues in American History into a fight between demigods. this lowers the legitimacy of the issue, makes it seem fictional, makes Camp Jupiter seem terrible and awful, except it doesn't. because camp Jupiter isn't terrible. but the confederacy was. if children, especially white children, learn about the confederacy through camp Jupiter, it makes it seem way less bad than it was.

again, I don't agree with all of this, it's just reasoning as to why. in my eyes, Rick Riordan is a man who has grown in his telling of his stories. he started with a canonical all white, all straight, all cis cast. he has now a series featuring a latino genderfluid queer person. This Post said it better than I ever could.

I know that it's impact over intent in so many situations. and this isn't to say I disagree with all, or even most of his critisim. I just think that he has good intent, and I hate him for absolutely none of it.

I am gay, I am Latino, and I am trans. that is all I can speak on, and I think his rep for that was great. I hope this answered your question, dear anon. again, I encourage you to do your own research and form your own opinions. I only touched on a few issues that Rick has had and there's a lot more to be talked about. I would say to keep in mind his intent and his growth. thank you for the ask, thank you for directing it to me that made me feel happy lol. ily I hope you have a good day

if anyone else has anything to add, by all means please do!!

#rr crit #ask #anon ask #you can click that tag dear anon!!#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #piper mclean #nico di angelo #samirah al abbas #long post #rick riordan criticism

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percabeth4life · 3 years

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I am new to the fandom, i have already spoiled myself on HOO and the other series, i know he has messed up the original characters (Percy and Annabeth) badly, how badly exactly?

And what are your thoughts on HOO? (I just discovered your blog).

And how would you have written it?

Have a nice day!

Welcome to the fandom!

So to start, characterization in HOO. You’re specifically asking about Percy and Annabeth, though I would argue Grover also got screwed over we just don’t get to see him to really see it :(

Percy and Annabeth in HOO get messed up first with how their relationship is portrayed. They become rather centered on the relationship, very in their own bubble, and that just doesn’t fit how we see them in prior books. How they feel for each other didn’t change, just the name of the relationship and some of their boundaries.

On top of that Percy suddenly has some large interest in being in charge of the group, when in PJO he only takes charge when told to. Also he’s much more... confrontational with his allies. I didn’t mind parts of it, but other parts were out of character for him (like the constant conflict with Jason based on who should be in charge).

Annabeth was suddenly very friendly. Like, made friends with everyone in the group very easily which is not how she worked in earlier books. Annabeth also didn’t show half of the emotional struggles she did in PJO. She has issues from how she grew up, and those were shown pretty well in PJO, but HOO just kinda... imagined her all better from them. It was frustrating.

Overall it wasn’t a horrible overhaul of their characters, but it was clearly different in how it portrayed them, and not for the better.

As to my thoughts on HOO, I’m not a fan lol.

Book 1 didn’t introduce us well to the stakes, and frankly it brought up a lot of character points that could’ve been interesting and then the rest of the books just didn’t run with it. And how Drew was treated? And Piper acting with the other kids and being considered right for it? And just in general how the plot opened up and the implications things had that just weren’t explored or elaborated on? The Gods locking Olympus? Ugh.

Book 2 was my favorite, and I still had issues with it (the portrayal of the Amazons was just... no). Overall it was cool and I liked seeing clever Percy but I don’t get how everyone then went “Percy is so dumb lol” after because he’s clearly wickedly smart there, just also ignorant to the customs and you know, lacking his memory.

Book 3 had characterizations all screwed up, Annabeth and Piper have inside jokes and stuff? Annabeth would not get along with Piper like that based on their characterizations. Also the characterization of the Roman characters are just dropped. Plus the love triangle that went no where? Also how Rick treated Minerva, like buddy just because worship practices were different does not mean that the Romans just tossed everything that made Athena powerful. Minerva is a Goddess and highly respected, She’s just a different Goddess than Athena. Also it makes more sense for Minerva to have thought children than Athena but go off.

Book 4 was half interesting with Tartarus (though I feel he could’ve made Tartarus even darker, even more painful, we didn’t really get the emotional impact) but the land stuff was like... confusing. Giving Hazel sorcery could’ve been done in a much more interesting way that didn’t have... off vibes. The Kerkopes only served to give Leo a way back to Ogygia later which was dumb. The way that Rick completely forgot that Nico had his memories wiped in the Lethe and just had him know stuff about Italy (plus like, changed info on him, he’s supposed to be 13 not 14 and Hazel is supposed to be 14 not 13). The Triptolemus and Frank plot was idiotic and insulting, congrats his character arc was getting buff. And Nico getting outed like that? That was horrible. Also they literally go sightseeing when the world is ending but you know. Why was Ogygia there at all? Why did Leo need this girl suddenly into him? Jason’s “I’m not actually Roman I’m Greek” plot was dumb and inaccurate to his character, give us flashbacks to his time with the Romans because we still don’t know how much he remembers. The fact that it was so important for him to decide he’s Greek is 1. not how it works and 2. dumb how it was important for them to actually reach their destination. The fight scene in the Necromanteion also dismissed a bunch of other factors but whatever.

Book 5 is just... why. Why was there the Jason completely dismissing Percy saying he felt like dying. Why was there the opening shit? Why was the whole plot of the book finding a way to cheat death? Why was the big fight scene literally like a chapter? Why did Leo act so completely idiotically at the end? Why did Rick need everyone to be in a relationship? It sucked.

Overall I think you can understand that I did not like the books and while Book 4 has the most detailed complaints, Book 5 is dead to me.

How I would’ve written it is a long answer but I’ll try to keep it short... because that matters at this point lmao.

First off, if he wanted the Gods out of the picture then he should’ve removed them entirely. They should not have had a hand in things. The Primordials should’ve been involved in the conflict more openly (especially Uranus). There are loads of Titans to involve too! On both sides! Tartarus was not the only place to put them. The Romans culture was dumb so that would need to be fixed, and I can’t decide if I’d keep the Athena Parthenos or just kick it entirely. I’m actually rewriting HOO as part of my story ATLOP so I have a full plot line planned lol, but I don’t want to spoil it.

Thanks for stopping by anon and once again, welcome to the fandom <3

#hoo #pjo #percy jackson #jason grace #frank zhang #pjo analysis #pjo meta #hoo meta #leo valdez #Piper McLean #percabeth #annabeth chase #Hazel Levesque #anon asks #life answers #thanks for stopping by!

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androgynousblackbox · 3 years

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have you seen the latest RaM episode? I was hoping to see if you had any thoughts about it! I really liked the exploration and the going off the gotdamb rails with the decoys. Also that scene with rick just. dick out and making morty peek at his ass for No actual reason sndhs

Don't forget the fact that his family didn't questioned for a single second that it should be MORTY the one to look into Rick's ass, like there was never anyone else but Morty who should be do it. It was gross, sure, but also such a... "guys would be guys" moment but not in the violent/toxic way but on the silly and unnecesary way, you know? Like Morty called it "punishment" and, sure, nobody wants to be farted into their face, but I can see Rick pulling a similar move on just any friend he feels like pranking to and, on a way, that was kinda wholesome. Okay, so I am going to pour my thoughts about this and the other episode as I usually do here so bear with me: -The fact that Summer IMMEDIATELY picked on what could go wrong about the whole decoy thing, and Rick has to aknowledge that Summer was smarter than this on this regard. This to me is talking again about how Summer IS actually smarter, emotional and socially wise (meaning with interelationships at least), that she could tell that if one Rick thinking he is not a decoy was going to make decoys then of course other Ricks would have the same idea. But Rick never saw this coming because he was only thinking of the decoys as instruments to be used and disposed, even as he was giving them actual personalities and filled their memories with real ones. He never considered they could go on to make their own because, well, they are not This Rick and this Rick is the smartest man in the universe, the guy that unironically think himself to be god, so OBVOUSLY think only HE would be capable of pulling that off. -The fact the immediately after a Rick wins while proclaiming himself "not a man, I am god!" only to be killed by what is essentially JUST A TOY, some little creature that was MEANT to be killed but got pissed when nobody did it. A literal "god" got eliminated for something fucking mundane that didn't even had to do with the main conflict. He doesn't even understand WHY this little dude just killed him, he died with uncertainty, and if that isn't the most human experience ever then I don't know. -With this episode and the first one, I HOPE this season is going to be about desconstructing Rick thinking himself above anything else. I said this before, but I don't trust fans who truly believe Rick is entitled to do anything he wants and be shitty with everyone because he is smart. It seems to be like these two episode literally adressed that kind of attitude by putting Rick on situations where not even he can get out of and revealing he is, in fact, still just a flawed human being. A major criticism that many people have levered against the show is that yes, we know Rick is sad and miserable, but the show still goes out of it's way to keep making him win on anything he wants (most of the time at least) and thus is signaling to the audience the idea that he is always right, that he should be always right, because he has the power to do anything he wants. The very first episode start with Rick about to fucking die with all his regrets ("I am a silly man, a silly old man") and then he is saved BY MORTY. If it wasn't because of Morty being there that would be it, they both would be gone. -The previous season was already descontructing Rick as the patriarch of the house and show how nobody "needs him" on the same way they needed him on the first season. The only character you could argue still gives a fuck about Rick's approval/recognition is Summer, but even then Summer was never submissive and passive like Season One Morty was to Rick, instantly believing anything he said. Plus, we all know that Rick COULD take Summer on all his adventures and she would never complain about it because she doesn't give a fuck about school anyway. But he still insist on taking Morty instead, despite his protests, because he just likes Morty better than Summer and he does not take well with Morty not relying on him. I don't fucking buy the whole "cancelling brain waves" excuse anymore because, come on, there is a million ways in which Rick could circunvent that problem if he wanted to

but he just prefers keep Morty around. -On the first episode Rick literally says "let me deus ex machina out of here". Deus ex machina literally means the hand of god because in ancient greek mythology many plays would have an element of a literal hand coming from the sky to take the characters out of any problem they are in. And it didn't worked! He needed Mr Nimbus to save them. Because he is not fucking god, and the show is finally showing us concrete evidence of this, while Rick is still the only one with this delusion on his head and this delusion is part of his downfall. The whole second episode is nothing else but Rick's ego fucking him in the ass, literally killing him over and over again. -Beth was GREAT rejoicing on Rick's existential crisis and she fucking deserved that moment, I am glad they gave it to her. -The way so many of the decoys decided to react to knowing they were decoys was so amazing. Like yeah, a majority of them decided to be all "oh no, there can only be one", but many other just off themselves because they couldn't handle not being The Original, insisting to the last moment that they MUST be the original because, well, that is what they think, and then other decoys were just ready to accept death because they had accepted there was no other way. -The only wish of Summer to be on the ocean was... so wholesome? Like it made for a beautiful scene in general, but then they dying hand by hand and just happy to be together, Rick apoligizing to Morty because they couldn't make his wish come true, such a good moment. -The fact that all those Ricks made decoys purely out of a sincere desire to protect his family, it's just great. It was still selfish to basically create life with the only purpose of it being destroyed, but it was motivated as another security measure to protect others, not just himself. -The skin wearing Rick on the swamps talking about "a Rick must provide for his family". Ricks CARE about their family so much. -The puppet Smits were so cute, I loved their voices. -THE MUPPET SMITHS. Even if it was nothing but a costume, it was cute and I want them on Pocket Mortys. -This scene is a Call Me By Your Name reference and nobody tells me otherwise:

As I explained on a server: 1. Italian. The movie happens on Italy. 2. Pool. Many crucial scenes include a pool. 3. Age difference. If they just wanted to imply Morty was flirting they could have used just an older teenager, they didn't need a literal hunk that kinda looks like the older character on the movie. 4. THERE IS FUCKING PEACHES ON THE FOREFRONT. If anyone saw Call me by your name, they know they literally fucked a peach at some point and then the love interest EATS IT ANYWAY. And what does it look like the guy Morty is with is eating? PEACHES. 5. Parents are watching and don't give a fuck. 6. I have decided. -Regardless if it's a reference or not, though, is still pretty fucking gay. -I have seen some fans theorizing that the Smith family we see in the end with Space Beth was our own, and at first I thought so too because they are with Space Beth but then I was... wait a minute, ALL Beth decoys knew there was a Space Beth. They went out of their way to show us this by always having Beth being the one who insisted that no decoy had to die, because she knew what was to feel like a copy. When Rick decided to make another family exactly as his own, he also made HIMSELF expendable and interchangeable. We don't need thirty Smith families, the show only needs one and it doesn't matter which one is it as long is one we can recognize. Why couldn't that have been another decoy family that just so happened to want to do a space trip while all the bullshit was happening? I don't think they are ever going to confirm if this was our original Smith family or don't, just like they won't confirm which Beth is the clone, but I personally think it would be fucking hilarious if they were a decoy and Our Rick just died thinking he was a decoy. -Also the way that Space Beth was just casually putting an arm around Morty made me so happy. Considering that Beth is also the mother who prefered to save Summer over Morty when their lives were in danger, I really like the idea that Space Beth sees how much Morty has grown and is proud of him for becoming a badass himself without Rick's help. That is just my headcanon though, but wouldn't be nice to have SOMEONE appreciate Morty? -Finally, but not less important... Rick knew Morty uses a yosemite shirt in order to cum. This man literally knew about the masturbatory habits of his grandson. Rick went as far on his desire to protect his family he used that knowledge for the decoys. He also told Morty to not fuck his double, which is a nice little reference to Morty literally doing that on the comics but also a subtle way to tell us that Morty is definitely Not Straight because, yeah, I am fucking counting selfcest as a form of queerness because regardless of everything else, that is still two identifying male characters fucking. We only need Beth showing attraction to some female character and the entire Smith family would be officially pan/bi.

#rick and morty spoilers #andro is talking

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walkerwords · 3 years

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“The Savior Sessions” Part 26 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Sickness is spreading in Alexandria, the reader searches for their lost love, and Negan meets the silent enemy.

Word Count: 4433

Warning: Swearing, Mentions of Blood

Song I Wrote To: “In This Shirt” by The Irrepressibles

Note: I am getting really excited about the final few parts of this! However, we have a bit to go! All official dialog is property of AMC and Skybound.

-----

Negan really hated Beta and he hadn’t said more than three words since they crossed paths.

After crossing into the Whisperer’s territory, Beta had fallen upon Negan quickly, disarming and blindfolding him. Negan wasn’t sure if the giant man was going to kill him, so he kept talking in hopes that the Beta would take him to the Alpha to decide his fate.

“Look, man, I have spent the last eight fuckin’ years locked up by your enemy,” Negan said. “I want them dead as much as you do, hell, probably even more. Their old leader fucked me up good once upon a time ago and I haven’t been in a very forgiving mindset since. You take me to your Alpha and I will spill every goddamn secret I know about those fuckers and beyond.”

“Too much noise,” Beta snarled at him.

“Right, you people are all about the whole vow of silence thing,” Negan said in a mock whisper. “I get it, it’s freaky as shit, but I get it.”

“I should just slit your throat and be done with it,” said Beta.

“Been there, done that,” Negan said. “It didn’t stick.” Even behind the blindfold Negan figured Beta was reaching for the knives on his belt. He wouldn’t blame him if he did want to kill him.

Negan had only been back in “I am Negan” mode for all of twelve hours and he had already started to hate himself for it. However, he had a job to do and this was the first step in doing so.

“The Alpha will decide your fate,” Beta said as the Whisperers who had hold of Negan pushed him forward.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Negan said. Beta whirled on him, ripping down the blindfold and Negan cringed at the sight of the man in the mask. Beta then shoved the cloth into Negan’s mouth tightly.

“Stop talking,” Beta ordered. Negan glared back at him and it was then that he could see what you must have seen as Beta stood above you with his hand on your throat. The thought of that, the thought of that monster’s hand on the person he loved, kept Negan on his feet and walking forward. He knew that you wanted to kill Beta, but Negan was starting to think that if you didn’t do it soon, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

Beta dragged him through the woods and when they came across the main camp, Negan relaxed further, slipped on a cocky smile, and started to plan.

-------

You and Carol were walking through the woods, both of you scanning for your respective targets.

You knew that she was looking for the horde and you didn’t care. All you wanted was to find Negan and if walking aimlessly around offered you some sort of clue, then you were going to do it. Daryl had tried to accompany her that morning, but you had stepped in and offered to go instead. Daryl was clearly worried about her, but you knew that she didn’t want comfort, she just wanted to work and find Alpha.

You were more than willing to give that to her.

That morning as you were getting ready to head out, you had stumbled across one of your emergency packs. You had begun to stash them around the house in case you had to leave suddenly with Negan. All three were accounted for which told you that he hadn’t even bothered to find one before he left. This only proved your theory that something was wrong and that he didn’t just leave.

On top of everything else, Aaron was now in contact with one of Alpha’s people. They called her Gamma and you didn’t like that he was speaking to her. If you had it your way, Gamma would be bleeding at your feet and not playing “frenemy”.

“I can see your wheels turning,” Carol said as you walked beside her. Your sword was swinging on your hip as her bow was level in her hand.

“I don’t think they’ve stopped since the world ended,” you said with a sigh. Carol nodded in agreement. “Can we be honest with each other, Peletier?” you asked.

“Always,” Carol said, snorting as you used her last name, something you always did when you first met her.

“I think we both know that we’re out here for different reasons,” you said.

“You always were the smart one,” Carol said. She then stopped walking and turned to you. “Are you going to tell me to back down?”

“I won’t tell you to stop hunting Alpha as long as you don’t stop me from taking out Beta.”

“He’s in your crosshairs, huh?” she said, continuing to walk.

“I don’t know why he’s gotten under my skin, Carol. I do know that that motherfucker is going to die by my hand even if I have to bite his damn jugular out.”

“Okay, Rick,” Carol said with a knowing look.

“Michonne told you that story too?”

“I think everyone’s heard it,” Carol said.

“I miss him so much,” you sighed as you climbed over a fallen tree.

“What do you think he’d do if he was here?” Carol asked.

“I think he would have shot Alpha the second she showed up at Hilltop.”

“I agree,” Carol said. “I feel like we’re running around with our heads cut off without him in this war.”

“Maybe we can learn something from the past. We won the last war, I don’t know why this one would be any different.”

“Negan wasn't evil,” Carol said. This stunned you for a moment and Carol caught onto it. “Surprised to hear me defend him?”

“A bit,” you admitted.

“You remember my husband?”

“Ed?” you asked. “How could I forget?” Carol’s dead husband was an abusive asshole that deserved what he got. You remembered how Shane was ready to throttle him and you were willing to help. Lori was the one to calm the both of you down before you murdered him. However, you knew that Shane had always been right about him.

“My husband didn’t care about me or our daughter. Ed was a horrible human being who preyed on the weak. Alpha is the same way. She doesn’t care who she hurts and she is willing to kill women, children, and anyone to get what she wants. Negan...he had a code. I don’t know if that makes up for all the things he did, but in my book, he’s a better person than Ed or Alpha.”

“I wish more people shared those thoughts,” you said.

“I can tell that you love him,” she said. “I can see it on your face and in your eyes. He’s...I guess he’s your sanctuary.”

“Is it wrong that I feel guilty for that?”

“For loving him?” she asked and you nodded. “No, (Y/N), it’s not wrong. I also want you to know that it's okay, no matter who it is.”

“Ezekiel said the same thing,” you said. Carol smiled at that. You didn’t know exactly what had happened between her and the King, but you knew they weren’t speaking as much and you figured they weren’t even together at all.

It wasn’t odd when parents broke up after the death of a child. You had seen it enough when you were a teacher. Carol was strong, but you did worry about Ezekiel.

“What’s your opinion on him, Carol?” you asked after a moment.

“On Negan?” she asked and you nodded. “Well, I am never going to forgive him for Glenn or Abraham, but I see that he’s changed. I know that he cared about Carl, and in his own way, respected Rick. I also know that he would never lay his hand on a child or a woman and if it came down to it, he would die for Judith. I think that regardless of what he’s done, at least we know he knows how to be a good man even if he hasn’t always been one.”

Nodding, you tried to keep your emotions in check, but the tears came quickly. You hunched over, feeling a loss and Carol grabbed you into her arms.

“I have no doubt he will come home to you,” she whispered. “Do not lose faith, my friend.”

“I need him,” you choked out.

“I know, honey,” Carol said. “I know.”

—————-

You broke off from Carol not that long after her words of comfort.

Needing to be alone, you began the trek towards Hilltop. You weren’t exactly sure what you were looking for, but perhaps if you saw it you would know. Carol had mentioned that she wasn’t just looking for Alpha, but the horde as well. Daryl had seen it when Alpha had taken him to the cliff edge. The Whisperers had the largest weapon you could ever imagine and if they decided to use it, you weren’t sure many would survive.

However, you had your own weapon. That is if you could find him. Thinking back to the first day that you had spoken to Negan in his cell, Michonne had said that Alexandria could use him. Not just for a mental punching bag, but because he had run a community unchallenged for years. The Sanctuary, while it was a symbol of hate for Alexandria and the others, it was still proof that some people were born to be in power. Negan was the best shot you had at getting into Beta’s head. The only problem was that Negan may not want to help, not when he had come so far to become a better man.

“And now I’m the one wanting to make him relive that past life,” you muttered as you moved through the trees.

“Talking to yourself? Never a good sign,” a voice said. You recognized it immediately, turning towards the young woman who stepped around a tree. Enid leaned against the trunk, her knife on her hip and a large button-up around her shoulders. You recognized it as one of Alden’s shirts.

“I think a little insanity is healthy,” you offered, causing Enid to smile a bit. “How are you?” you asked.

“I’m getting there,” she admitted. You hadn’t spoken to her much since the fair. Here and there you would check-in, but you had been caught in Negan for months. That guilty feeling returned. “What are you doing out here?” she asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” you said.

“I needed to get out before Alden wrapped me in plastic wrap.”

“He’s become a helicopter boyfriend?” you guessed, continuing to walk. Enid fell into step next to you.

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” she grumbled.

“Alden is just worried about you,” you said. “Rosita and Gabriel are doing the same with Siddiq.”

“Is he doing okay?”

“He’s been distracted with his daughter and I think that’s helping. Rosita says that he isn’t sleeping though,” you said.

“Neither am I,” Enid said. “I can’t get the look of Tara’s face out of my head. Seeing her die and then what they did with her body…” You reached out and took her hand in yours.

“I am so sorry you had to see that,” you said.

“I’ve seen people die before, but that… that wasn’t human, (Y/N),” Enid said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without the nightmares.”

“I wish I could do something to help you,” you said.

“You are, you’re talking to me and you’re still looking for the Whisperers,” she said. “That’s why you’re out here, right?” You paused, trying not to fully lie.

“Right,” you said, but Enid could see right through it.

“Or are you looking for Negan?”

“Can’t I do both?” you asked. Enid shrugged. Negan was a rough subject with Enid. He had killed Glenn who had become like a father to Enid in some ways. He had taken care of her when she didn’t think anyone wanted her around. When he was taken away from her, Enid had taken over as caretaker for Maggie and you knew that Negan wasn’t winning any popularity contests with the young woman.

“How do you know he’s actually changed?” Enid asked, surprising you.

“Everyone keeps asking me that,” you said with a sigh. “I don’t think it’s something I can just explain. It’s something you have to see.”

“Why do you think he’s changed?” Enid asked.

“Because he had to and because he wanted to,” you said without a second of hesitation. “Negan wasn’t always who we met all those years ago.”

“I wonder what changed.”

“His wife died and the world ended,” you said. “Some people are built for this kind of world, others have to adapt and change with it in order to survive.”

“So, you’re saying that the end of the world turned him into a killer?”

“It’s turned us all into killers, Enid,” you reminded her. Enid was quiet for a moment before she continued.

“Alden once told me a story about him,” she began. “Alden wasn’t always with Negan, he usually just stayed at the outposts, but one day Negan went to visit. They all went out in search of people or supplies and they found a small family. It was a husband, his wife, and their two teenagers. Twins, I think. Alden thought that Negan was going to recruit the man to be a Savior and take care of the teens and the wife.”

“Did he?” you asked. Enid shook her head.

“Alden said that Negan...switched when he noticed something. It wasn’t until he got closer that he saw what Negan did. The wife was covered in bruises, the kids too. These weren’t the normal ones you would get from running from Walkers either.”

“He was beating them,” you concluded.

“Negan gave the man one chance to admit what he had done. I guess the husband drew a gun on his family, threatening to kill them. Negan ordered Alden and some other Saviors to grab the kids and keep them safe as he dealt with the parents. The wife began to beg Negan for help and that’s when Negan tackled the husband, knocking him out cold.”

“Did he kill him?”

“He didn’t have to,” Enid said. “The son of a bitch had gotten bit and was going to turn and then turn his family. Some sort of sick ‘together forever’ type thing. Negan got the family into the Sanctuary and kept them safe. The mom died about a year later from a respiratory infection.”

“And the twins?”

“Alden doesn’t know. They were around fifteen or so. Maybe they left, maybe Negan got them set up somewhere else, I don’t know. I just know their names: Adam and Olivia. I like to think they made it and they’re out there somewhere.”

“Why did Alden tell you this?”

“I think he was trying to convince me that not everything the Saviors did was bad,” she said. “I think he’s still worried that I see him as an enemy, but I never did. At least not since he helped us win the war.”

“I wish I could say the same about my own Savior,” you sighed.

“Can’t you?” she asked.

“Enid, we both know that Negan and Alden are two very different people with very different situations,” you said.

“True, but that doesn’t mean Negan hasn’t done his fair share of good. Daryl told me about Judith, all the times he’s saved her. Maybe he’s not lost after all.”

“You sound like Carl,” you complimented. Enid gave you a small smile at that.

“I know that he would be completely on board with you and Negan,” she said. “I also know that he would be by your side right now looking for him.”

“Negan wouldn’t have left if Carl was still here,” you said.

“Why are you so sure that he left?”

“Are you suggesting somebody kidnapped my boyfriend?” you asked, raising your brows.

“Stranger things have happened,” she offered.

“Your wisdom is very… Greene,” you said.

“Well, Maggie did help me see this world differently. I think we could all use a little Rhee/Greene wisdom right now.”

“If you find some,” you said. “Pass it along alright?”

“You got it,” Enid said. Bumping her shoulder with your own, you took a deep breath.

“I can’t imagine what she would think about me right now, En,” you said. “I can’t imagine the betrayal she would feel.”

“(Y/N), listen to me,” Enid said. “We spend too much time thinking about what others would think instead of just being in the moment with the people around us. I lost my best friends to Alpha and I lost a piece of myself, but I still have Alden. I still have that person who loves me unconditionally. I think that is more important right now.”

“I can’t stop the guilt,” you whispered.

“(Y/N), you’ve lost too much to feel guilty for loving someone,” she said. Enid then continued on, letting you absorb her words. The sheer fact that Enid was saying these things to you made you even more confused. It began to make you wonder if your friends were actually coming around to the idea of Negan being a part of the community or if they were just worried for your sanity.

If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know which was worse.

--------

When you returned to Alexandria, you found that Siddiq and Dante were being overwhelmed.

“What’s going on?” you asked as you walked into Rosita’s house.

“I don’t know,” Siddiq said, “it looks like some kind of bug is going around.”

“Are you feelin’ okay, Doc?” you asked, reaching to feel his forehead, but he swatted your hand away.

“I’m fine, but Ro is on bed rest for the time being. I’ve been trying to get her to sleep, but Coco is keepin’ her up as usual.”

“I will talk to her,” you said. “Go check on the rest of your patients before Dante passes out from exhaustion.”

“Will do,” he said.

“Hey, where’s Daryl? I didn’t see him when I came in,” you said.

“I think he went out after Carol,” Siddiq said. With a roll of your eyes, you nodded. Of course, he did.

As Siddiq went to go check on the others, you headed into Rosita’s room. “Alright, Ma’am, gimme the kid, I need baby time,” you said, reaching for the little girl. Rosita handed her to you without a question, sinking back into her pillows.

She did look pale and tired and you knew that she knew she should be resting. However, she was trying to be supermom. You respected that, but you also needed your friend to sleep. Sitting down in the armchair by the bed, you held Coco close to your chest, gently rubbing her back.

“Find him?” Rosita asked.

“Not yet,” you whispered, resting your eyes. “I did run into Enid, though.”

“Is she doing any better than Siddiq?” she asked.

“Not really,” you said. “She’s having nightmares.”

“So is he,” Rosita sighed. “I’m worried about him.”

“I know, I am too,” you said. Siddiq was always the voice of reason. He reminded you a lot of Herschel. It was no wonder that Carl saw the kindness in him as soon as he met him.

“(Y/N), about Negan,” Rosita began, but you shook your head.

“I can’t right now,” you said. “People have been giving their opinion on him since we got home from the fair and even more so now that he’s gone. I just need to sit here and hold your girl so you can get better. Please.”

“Okay,” Rosita whispered, curling into her side so she always had eyes on Coco.

“Rest, mama,” you said. “You need it and I got her.”

“Thanks,” Rosita whispered as her eyes fell closed.

“Any time, Ro,” you said as he pressed a kiss to Coco’s forehead and settled into the chair, propping your feet up on the bed. It didn’t take long for you to relax and for the little Espinosa to fall asleep. As you set there, you focused on the small breaths of the baby and wished for a miracle.

---------

From gravedigger to pig hunter, Negan was not having a good day.

He was especially missing you and following the skins around all day was starting to give him a headache. The only thing that was keeping him going was a trinket that was tucked into his pocket. It was something he had taken from your house the last time he had been there. It was a small marble that you kept on the mantle of your fireplace. You had told him that you had found it the first time you visited the Kingdom. It was black and white which reminded him of you and him.

He wondered if you had even noticed it was missing. Though, he figured that you were beyond pissed right now and a missing marble wouldn’t exactly mean much. Rubbing his thumb over the smooth token, he continued to follow the asshole in front of him.

He and Beta were butting heads at every chance they got. He knew that the bastard didn’t like him, but he didn’t really give a shit. He wasn’t there to make friends with him. He just wanted the damn Alpha. However, that was proving to be a bit of a problem.

Beta was testing him and he hated every second of it. Beta, however, seemed to be enjoying himself as he tortured, tested, and talked down to Negan. The latter had been around assholes his entire life and while Beta was a dick, when it came to being scary, he didn’t even touch Rick Grimes. Although, at least Rick would actually talk to him.

“I just don’t see the point in all of this,” Negan said as Beta led him through the dark woods. Beta just continued to ignore him. Negan had been playing Whisperer custodian all day and he was tired of it. Now, Beta had him wandering through the dark for some reason and Negan was already annoyed.

“Clearly,” Negan continued, “we are not jivin'. And, you know, to be honest with you, I totally understand the position you're in. You gotta be, like, the tough guy and keep everybody in line. I mean, hell, you know, I had guys just like you to keep my shit tight. Alright, maybe not just like you.”

Beta’s jaw clenched, but Negan went on. “Uh, hell, if I had some monster your size, things would've turned out different. For one, I wouldn’t be lacking as much Vitamin D.” Beta didn’t get the joke. “Look, whether you like me or not, I will be joinin' this team, so maybe we should find a way to get along, you know, and stop pissin' on each other's boots.”

“You will never be one of us,” Beta sneered, getting into Negan’s face. “You’re too loud, too weak, too full of ego.”

“Some people like my damn ego,” Negan offered.

“You are a waste, and Alpha will see it.”

“So, cards on the table, then? Cool. I dig that. See, I'm not here for you. I am here for Alpha. So, you go ahead, and you throw your little tests at me and you scowl and throw me on the ground like a five-and-dime Frankenstein. I don't give a shit,” Negan shot back. “See, big man, I ain't goin' anywhere.” Beta stopped walking and properly faced his antagonizer.

“Finally, something we can both agree on. You won't be going anywhere,” Beta said as the growls of Walkers echoed around them. The Dead stumbled towards them and Negan, who was weaponless, only got more pissed.

“Wait a minute. Did you just make a Goddamn joke? I would be impressed if I wasn't so pissed off right now,” he said. Beta then shoved him back towards the Walkers as he faded into the shadows, leaving Negan to the Dead. With a grunt, Negan turned to face his rotting enemies. “Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.”

------

Negan was covered in blood and the smell of rotting flesh, but he was alive.

And he was pissed.

Negan had fought for years. He knew how to kill in all sorts of ways and he knew how to kill Walkers. However, being thrown into that small herd with nothing but his bare fists had nearly killed him. The only thing that kept him going was you.

He thought back to the training sessions, you, Lydia, and he had done in the living room of your home. The hand-to-hand and weapons training was important, but then there was what Lydia had brought to the table. The number one thing that her mother had taught her was how to improvise in a dire situation. Anything could be a weapon and only you were the one capable of getting yourself away from death.

Negan had ducked and pushed his way through the Walkers, dodging their teeth and hands the best he could. When he spotted the fallen branch on the ground, he had laughed and picked it up. It wasn’t Lucille, but it would do. As he faced down the Walkers in front of him, he grinned.

“Lydia, give me strength,” he whispered as he swung.

Now, as every Walker was in pieces and he was drenched in blood, he strutted back into camp. Just as Beta was explaining to Alpha that Negan was dead, he made his appearance.

“I'm ready for my Goddamn skin suit!” he announced as he walked between Whisperers, the branch on his shoulder. “You best bring that extra-long tape measure on account of my humongous balls.” He spotted Alpha immediately. She was looking at him with curiosity and as much as he hated to admit it, Lydia had had that same look when she first met him.

Approaching the Alpha, he dropped the makeshift weapon and dropped to his knee in front of her. Alpha looked at him as if he was prey, but he didn’t back down.

“Hi, I'm Negan,” he said with a cocky grin. “We haven't formally met, but I sure as hell know who you are. And whether my reputation precedes me or not, I'm all in.” Alpha reached out and pulled a piece of flesh off his shoulder. “Whatever you want, whatever I got, it's yours.”

Alpha leaned forward then and placed a finger on her lips. “Shh,” she said and Negan just grinned back, knowing he had cast the line, all she had to do was bite.

TAGS: @lucillethings @cameronsails @stark-dreams @amaroho @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @waspyyy @yespleasejayhalstead @hoemadegrace @writingdeadangel @huffledor-able541 @pulplorrd @felicisimor

#the walking dead #twd #twd imagines #negan x you #negan x reader #negan x y/n #twd fanfic #walkerwords #savior sessions #the walking dead fanfiction #Negan

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aislingyngaio-games · 3 years

Text

The Tifareth Balance

I think this goes all the way back to the gnostic tree, and how everything has to be brought into balance to achieve Final Heaven.

Introduction: Where the Characters Begin in FF7

At the beginning of the story, Aerith was treated all her life as special by certain individuals - Turks, Shinra/Hojo, Elmyra, Zack. This gave her a very young Queen Victoria levels of self-importance and obstinence, very self-centered world view if you will, and that's why in OG she's always asking Cloud what he thinks about her etc (which actually implies she's rather confused that she isn't already the center of his world somehow) during dialogue options. This is also I believe partially why she seems to sense Ifalna, Elmyra’s husband, and Zack enter the Lifestream, yet seems inured when two reactors, a plate, and the related mass loss of life occurred. Surely she should have been overwhelmed by the sheer number of souls passing back into the Lifestream, yet she seems perfectly deaf to this mass upheaveal and more concerned about her own earthly affairs as she meets Cloud? Sounds oddly cold for a steward of the planet who could hear its cries, however faintly. There’s no Obiwan-Alderaan moment for her at all. Her starting point is that she misses the forest for the trees.

Meanwhile, we have Tifa, who though in her youth was the center of a circle of friends, we learn during the Lifestream that none of them actually understood her, esp obvious during her grief over her mother's death. For an introvert, this is actually a deeply socially draining experience, and since then, given how one by one her social circle deserted her and the village for job opportunities, she is left to believe she's simply a cog in the Grand Scheme. She's always had to suppress her own self and think of others before her. It doesn't matter that she probably wants to leave the village that's been emptied of her peers - she's the chief's daughter so she must stay. It doesn't matter that she disagreed over the reactor bombings, for the Greater Good Avalanche must do something to save the Planet, so she had to acquiesant against her own wishes. It was she who worried and grieved most for the two reactor bombings and the plate fall and its associated loss of life, even though she still had Cloud with her, and realistically couldn’t actually hear the cries of the Planet. Her starting point is that she misses the trees for the forest.

In other words, at the beginning of the story, Aerith is too selfish and Tifa is too selfless. And as author Rick Riordan once wrote, "The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation. Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed." (Athena, The Titan's Curse)

Aerith’s Character Arc in FF7

Over the course of the story, we see Aerith, even while leveraging her position and her blood against Shinra's encroachment, was equally afraid of her own powers. She ignored and hid herself away from the problems of Gaia, hiding under the protection of Elmyra for as long as she could. She disregards opinions and feelings of others like when she totally misjudged how to handle Barret's raw emotions over Corel at the Gold Saucer. She was not at all oblivious to Tifa's feelings yet still attempted to monopolize Cloud's attentions in front of her. This behaviour can be traced back to her need to stand firm against the Turks’/Shinra’s persuasions, though when used on regular people like the team, it is very offputting, abrasive, thoughtless and likely was what actually alienated her peers from her growing up. Ultimately, she made the fatal mistake of believing she knows what's best for the group in merrily skipping off alone into the Forbidden City (I mean, sure, we all know Cloud was unstable from the Jenova manipulation but there were 7 other sane party members who could have been consulted and split up before she skipped off unprotected?), and ultimately her fatal flaw of arrogance and selfishness caused her death. Not because she meant to die, knowing it will protect the planet, because she'd always intended to return to the team ("She talked about the future more than the rest of us"), but she died anyway because her arrogance and selfishness were her fatal flaw.

I think it is only in death, though unaddressed explicitly by the game story itself (which of course remains on the living party members, and therefore is the story of life, and how life still moves on after death), that she truly grasped the littleness of who she is. That ultimately, back in the Lifestream with all the other Cetras, she was finally able to understand that in the end, she was just another Cetra in the great battle against Jenova. Sure, she was the Cetra who summoned Holy, but it was actually doing more harm than good by itself. It was only with the collective power and force of the Lifestream, of all who were born of the Planet and all who returned to the Planet, that Meteor was able to aid Aerith (Holy) in pushing back Meteor. In accepting her ordinariness among the Cetra is when Aerith truly becomes the mother of Gaia, even if nobody other than the FF7 team will ever remember her name. Her legacy lives on in Gaia, along with the legacy every other Cetra died to preserve.

Aerith's character arc is to temper her selfishnes with selflessness, to care for the welfare of all instead of the welfare of a few individuals, and to recognise that she is but a small part in the greater plan, that it is ok to not be special. Her special blood didn't stop her from dying, nor was she alone the only saviour of the Planet. In the end, I believe that Aerith's journey in FF7 is her journey to understand that no matter how special she seems to be, in the end, the Planet will still live on without her too, with Nanaki as the probable successor to her decimated race's role as the new steward of the Planet.

Tifa’s Character Arc in FF7

As for Tifa, her character arc is the complete opposite: to temper her selflessness with selfishness. How odd a concept for a protagonist! Except it goes right back to the balance necessary to achieve Final Heaven ("The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation"). Tifa is shy, she is reserved, she always puts the needs and wants of others above her own, even if she disagrees. She didn't challenge Barret when she disagrees with his methods. She didn't challenge Aerith even when her own feelings were hurt, yet still she was kind in the face of such unkindness (intentional or not). She suppressed her own feelings for Cloud and tries only to behave like a friend to him even though she feels more. And most damning in her character arc, she didn't challenge Cloud over the knowledge that "I waited... but Cloud never came." It was the only piece of the Nibelheim incident she could recall clearly, but because she was too insecure in her own memories (though the rest of the Incident could be chalked up to the trauma caused by her almost dying by Masamune, Cloud's alleged absence at Nibelheim wasn't, because she had pinned her hopes on his arrival and her disappointment was palpable) she allowed what she knew to be false to stand in between them for the sake of Cloud's mental stability.

I have posited in another post that Tifa is not only the heroine of FF7 but the co-protagonist as well, or at the very least the deuteragonist. It is very telling that 10 minutes after Aerith's death, the team went snowboarding, whereas when Cloud and Tifa were both broken emotionally by Sephiroth and had their joint Heroic BSoD moment, the game experienced a timeskip. How odd that the permanent physical death of a valued party member didn't stop the game dead but the death of Cloud and Tifa's trusts in their own memories did? Yet it is important to mention as too many times already Tifa has simply been dismissed as unimportant, as simply the crutch, the guide to Cloud's story and nothing more. This could not be further from the truth. Tifa's story does not simply inform Cloud's. Tifa's story is ENTWINED with Cloud's. Even as their stories run parallel to each other's, crossing the same events, their arcs are both independent AND interdependent on each other's. Tifa is not simply a plot device or the narrator or whatever one calls Tifa in an attempt to dismiss her role in the bigger FF7 story. (And I mention this because even some Tifa fans forget this in their desire to whitewash Tifa's culpability in the Northern Crater affair, which is actually a key turning point in Tifa's hero's journey)

Someday perhaps I will write a full breakdown of Tifa’s hero’s journey (because it’s honestly frustrating to see claims – even from Tifa fans – of Tifa needing a character arc of her own when it’s always been in FF7 all along if only players will take off their protagonist/Cloud-tinted glasses) in greater detail, but for the sake of the discussion of her arc in the context of the gnostic tree and the role of balance within oneself, I will simply say this: that it is only in the death of her trust in herself, and in seeing the emotional death of the one she holds most dear (Cloud’s mental stability shattering at the Northern Crater), that she learns she cannot simply stand passively by even in the face of what she knows to be wrong, just to protect someone else’s feelings and wants. She learns that even inaction has consequences. That she has to be brave enough, assertive enough, just selfish enough to place her own needs and desires, her own thoughts and beliefs, on an equal importance to the rest of the party, even the Planet’s. That just because the world is ending, it doesn’t make her personal struggles any less important than the world’s problems, it doesn’t mean the problem can be ignored or that it will simply go away, or even that it’s unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

She erred, she fell, she “died”. And she learned, she grasped the second chance with both hands, and at Mideel, she stood firm and said, “This is where I want to be. Being with Cloud. Caring for him.” It wasn’t revenge she pursued any longer, or high-minded abstract ideals like saving the Planet. She still would help save the Planet if she could, but for once in her life, she put her foot down and make clear her own priorities – to be by the side of the one she love above all else. And she could make this decision without jeopardizing the Planet because of her ordinariness. She wasn’t imbued with special powers or special bloodlines or special keepsakes and her absence will most likely not affect the Planet’s safety or lack thereof. Even in her absence, we are sent on story missions that still ended in failure – heck, even after Cloud and Tifa rejoined, the Huge Materia space mission still failed anyway, because the point is... just because one wants to save the Planet doesn’t mean one can (after all, summoning Holy didn’t work either, at least not at first).

This is also paralleled with Tifa’s caring of Cloud: there was literally no guarantee that Cloud will ever recover from his Mako poisoning – he could be a vegetable forever, and yet this is still Tifa’s choice. This isn’t just about Cloud, but about Tifa asserting her desire to be with Cloud even in the face of both world destruction and his permanent vegetative state. This is who Tifa wants to be, who Tifa chooses to be. This isn’t something being pushed onto her as part of some “greater good” that she should ignore her own wants and needs for. (And to all those who deride Tifa as being weak for making her choices all for one man, remember that feminism isn’t about a “strong independent woman who need no man”, it’s about having the right to choose who we wish to be without being forced by any societal expectations of us. “Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all." — Erik Erikson. If anything, Tifa choosing to stay by Cloud’s side is the very definition of feminism – it’s not about what we do, rather, that we have a right to choose without being shamed for what we choose to do)

Yet in the Lifestream is when she truly finds herself together with Cloud. She learns that, though she believed she is too ordinary to be special to anyone (remember, though she was the center of her group of friends in her youth, none of them really looked back when the time came for them, or at least she thought none did more than mere talk anyway), she was actually the reason for Cloud’s entire journey, that he reciprocated special feelings for her, that he always intended to return for her. She learned that, just as Cloud’s impetus was her reason for taking up martial arts (one of the few acts of “rebellion”/assertiveness in her youth where she was probably pressured to stay in the village either due to her father’s position or her gender), she was the reason for Cloud’s desire to be a hero too. Tifa was special in her ordinariness. She meant enough to someone who meant enough to her.

Tifa’s arc is to recognise that though she won’t ever be important to the Planet as an individual, she was important enough to the one that mattered most. It is not wrong or “selfish” to find individual love and prioritise it equal to the needs of the Planet. And in the end, it was this revelation and resolution of both her and Cloud’s mutual feelings for each other that gave Cloud the strength he’d previously only accessed from despair five years ago, the strength to defeat Sephiroth. And it was only with Sephiroth’s defeat that Holy was unleashed, and only when the Lifestream joined its chorus that the Planet was ultimately saved. In the end, it was the importance Tifa “selfishly” placed on her own wants and needs that saved Cloud, and by saving him, the Planet as well. If she’d been told that Cloud’s predicament, a single individual, was nothing in the face of the end of the world, if she hadn’t been just that little bit selfish in the face of her extreme selflessness, it might have simply brought them nothing but destruction.

Conclusion

In this sense, I believe that Aerith and Tifa were indeed developed to be two halves of the same whole. They started off as two extremes in terms of personality – Aerith was self-centered, assertive and intransigent, while Tifa was selfless, passive and insecure. Yet these are only negative traits when taken to extreme, and by meeting each other, by learning from each other, tempering and moderating each other’s behaviour, by Aerith learning to be more considerate, more humble and more persuadable (because my god, was Aerith utterly brattish and unbearable in Remake before she met Tifa), by Tifa learning to be more assertive, more confident, to take pride in herself, the two halves of a whole bring each other to balance and become better versions of themselves for it.

"The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation. Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed."

P.S. tagging @enigmaphenomenon as it was your twitter thread that inspired this post. A lot of the thoughts in this impulsive post probably definitely needs a hell lot more refining by more critical minds but I hope this is a good starting point for discussion.

#final fantasy 7 #Aerith Gainsborough #tifa lockhart #gnostic symbolism #cloti

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twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years

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Deer Theory - Tractor Add On

Okay, I’ve wanted to post this for a while and am just now getting around to it. This is actually something I owe to @frangipanilove for figuring out. She has a whole theory about the Finlandia song and flags and tons of stuff. But I’m just taking one of the things she said that REALLY gave me a lightbulb moment concerning the deer symbol.

First off, let’s recap the deer theme. I’ve always believed that dead deer = live person, and live deer = dead person. The deer carcass Daryl saw in Them represented that Beth lived. We can trace this pattern back to Carl in S2. The deer died, and while it was touch and go for a while, Carl lived.

On the flip side, in 4x14, The Grove, Mica and Lizzie both died, but the deer lived. We specifically see Carol staring at the live deer after she kills Lizzie. This is the deer that she tried to get Mica to shoot, but Mica refused. The idea, I think, is that if Carol could have toughened Mica up enough to shoot the deer, maybe she could have defended herself against Lizzie. But Mica was too sweet and innocent, and therefore had no chance against a homicidal maniac, right?

Some things I’ve struggled with about the deer theory: Carl’s death. There is what looks like a deer underneath him when he gets bitten. The deer is dead, which means Carl SHOULD live, but obviously he didn’t. So, I didn’t so much doubt my theory so much as struggle with how to interpret that particular instance. I figured there was an explanation, but I didn’t know what it was.

Well, @frangipanilove has finally given one to me. In order to explain, I need to briefly switch gears for a minute.

I want you to remember 7x05, Go Getters. In this episode, the Saviors push a green gremlin into Hilltop with music blaring from it. They do it so walkers will go in and get the Hilltoppers. Maggie and Sasha jump into action, and Maggie ultimately crushes the Gremlin with a huge, green and yellow tractor.

So, we automatically saw tons of Beth symbols here. Green gremlin. Which is pretty much a music box on wheels. There was even a metal flip-off finger on it. And for various reasons, it could represent Beth (the music box) being left or trapped in a car.

The thing I struggled with was how to interpret Maggie crushing it with the tractor. If the Gremlin represents Beth, it’s almost like Maggie killed Beth. And I truly don’t think that’s what the writers are going for here. But, much like the deer at Carl’s death, I simply struggled with how to interpret it.

Well, @frangipanilove pointed out that this tractor is probably meant to be a John Deere tractor. No, we don’t see that logo anywhere, but that may be because of legal/copyright issues. If TWD didn’t have permission to use the logo, they’d get sued for doing so. But the colors are right and many TWD sites list it as a John Deere tractor because that’s so obviously what it’s meant to be.

So…tractor = deer. This tractor is a representation of the deer symbol, and the two are probably synonymous.

Why is this important? Well, Maggie used the tractor (deer) to eliminate the threat. She crushed the Gremlin. And what was the threat? Walkers. The music was drawing them.

This was my massive lightbulb moment. Because it put me in mind of 7x12, where Rick falls from the carnival ride, Michonne assumes he’s dead, but he escapes. Why/how did he escape?

Because of the deer.

The walkers munched on the deer, which allowed Rick to escape.

In fact, as I write this, it makes me think of the Glenn/Nicholas situation in S6. Both Glenn and Nicholas fell into the walker horde, but the walkers munched on Nicholas, allowing Glenn to escape.

And heaven knows there were RIDICULOUS amounts of Beth symbolism around Glenn. It was a template for what happened to her. So was Rick’s in 7x12.

Another example of this, that doesn’t actually involve a deer, but rather a horse, was with Buttons in 5b. The walkers ate Buttons, rather than focusing on Daryl and Aaron.

Now, I think the whole Buttons situation can be interpreted on about twelve different levels. This is only one of them. But it does make me wonder if horse and deer are somewhat synonymous.

We’ve seen horses show up to save people multiple times. In 9x05, the white horse allowed Rick to lead the horde away from the communities, saving his people, much like Maggie used the tractor to save Hilltop in 7x05. Morgan found a white horse in 6x16 and used it to save Carol’s life after she was shot by taking her to Hilltop.

But I digress.

So, what does this whole deer = how people are saved from walkers thing mean? Where Beth is concerned, I think it means there will be a deer involved somewhere that allowed her to live. Wherever they left her (probably in a car), how she got away probably has to do with a deer, which distracted the walkers, and allowed her to escape. Just like with Rick.

We’ve always wondered how, exactly, Beth would escape the horde. If she was in the car/trunk and got out, but was surrounded by walkers, how does she get away?

And it doesn’t really matter. That question doesn’t keep me awake at night or anything. Because it’s whatever the writers came up with, right? Maybe someone saved her. Maybe she climbed a tree. Crawled under the car (like in the Daryl/Aaron/wolf trap situation).

But I’ll bet there’s a deer involved somewhere, such that the walkers turned to eat the deer, allowing her to escape. That would line up with Rick in 7x12, and also with situation in 7x05 with tractor = deer being the thing that knocked out the danger (coming walkers) and saved everyone.

And THAT means that the deer Daryl saw in 5x12 has much deeper symbolic value than we ever realized. He saw a dead guy near the carcass of the deer, with what looks like bullet wounds to the forehead. This guy is dead, and the deer is dead, but that means that somewhere else in Atlanta, a deer was actually saving Beth.

How about Carl’s death? What does this mean for him?

Well, the deer was already dead when he and Siddiq arrived on the scene. If it had been alive, it probably would have distracted the walkers and Carl wouldn’t have died. He and Siddiq probably wouldn’t have even needed to fight the walkers at all. The walkers would have been occupied and they could have just walked right past them (much like Aaron and Daryl did in 5b when the walkers turned on Buttons).

The idea is, the thing that would have saved Carl was already dead. (A very Shakespearean/Hamlet theme: the only thing that could have saved you already being long-dead, which means you have no hope of triumphing over the situation.)

Okay, I know this is very thematic and cerebral. Sorry about that. But this is the first thing I’ve found that makes the deer at Carl’s death make TOTAL sense to me.

It doesn’t really change any of our Beth/TD theories except to say that I think a deer will be involved somewhere in Beth’s escape.

Of course, it’s always possible that for her, the deer could be symbolic rather than literal, but I kind of doubt it. It was literal for Rick and Carl and in most of these other situations. Not so much in Go Getters, but if the tractor and the deer (and possibly the horse) are all synonymous symbols anyway, then it hardly matters. Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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shimmershae · 3 years

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Some, okay a lot, of pre-mid season (tri? season) finale thoughts. As if you actually asked for them, lol.

And no, I haven’t actually watched the last episode yet. I’ve been putting it off all morning. For reasons. Reasons that I felt the inexplicable need to put on paper, er, screen.

If you care at all to read the purging of my fatigued TWD fangirl mind, please look beneath the cut. Fair warning. It’s long so pull up a chair maybe, lol.

I’ll admit it. The spoilers indicating a significant lack of Carol/Melissa content has dampened much of my enthusiasm and there wasn’t all that much to start with.

Let me tell you why--

The season, so far, has been woefully unbalanced in favor of the Reaper storyline and the Maggie/Negan conflict (which ties back to the Reaper storyline by the flimsiest of strings) and I’m just not invested.

Why?

Well, it’s multifold.

#1 reason why? Having a third of the last season ever of TWD devoted to going inside “the lions’ den” of villains I have no emotional connection to or curiosity about is a big fat fail.

You might say “but there’s the Daryl double agent” aspect and I say “so fucking what” because it was so poorly conceived and has felt like such a WTF set of fraying puppet strings for this plot Angela was apparently jonesing to tell from the GO, damn the torpedoes she had to know where inevitably coming her way.

Seriously. I had talked myself into accepting that which I could not change, citing Daryl’s emotional brokenness after Rick. Convincing myself he’d lost his anchor to goodness and hope and fulfillment in his years of self-imposed exile from Carol and what was left of his family and to a certain extent? I can still by that explanation. But really. It’s the Leah of it all.

Let me attempt to explain.

To do that, maybe I should detail how I’ve always perceived Daryl.

Daryl, IMHO, began this journey with us and the rest of Team Family with a figurative fortress erected around his true, core self.

He was prickly. Defensive to any overtures of kindness because he inherently did not trust them. Loathe to form any real connection to anyone other than Merle, his blood.

Daryl balked at the possibility of emotional connection and flinched in learned fear from physical touch.

He did not recognize or accept affection or respect at face value because it was something rarely shown to him before.

Anybody else remember that childhood abuse book from Consumed? You know. One of those first times the showrunners/writers dumped a character nugget in our laps and left it to us to do all the backstory in our own imaginations so they didn’t have to enrich their own characters beyond the scratch and sniff, wham bam this is who they are work?

Anyway. We were left to extrapolate from that what most of us h ad already suspected--that Daryl’s formative years were already a living hell before the ZA ever happened.

So he was standoffish. He didn’t form emotional connections lightly and physical intimacy was something light years out of his comfort zone.

Until Carol.

Daryl’s defenses started to crumble from the very start with Carol because she piqued his interest. He looked at her, watched her withstand Ed’s abuse, and recognized something of himself.

Against his will, Daryl started to care and when Carol lost the one good thing that had come out of her miserable life with Ed--Sophia--Daryl’s core identity started to be revealed to us and probably? To himself after burying it so deep for so long.

Long story short? Daryl connected with Carol pretty quickly on a base level through the trauma of Sophia’s loss.

The real connection, the emotional work it too to peel all those protective layers away took more like--like planting a flower from seed and tending it to help it survive and flourish.

Simply said? The work was put in and Daryl bloomed with Carol’s (and Team Family’s) care. They all put in varying degrees of work but Carol planted the seed of his “belonging.”

And the thing about Daryl? Once he bloomed? He grew strong. He stretched toward the sun.

He and Carol essentially bloomed and fought their way toward the sunlight together.

And little by little, Daryl learned to accept the kindness, trust, and love he always deserved.

From that newly confident man emerged a Daryl not so fearful of forming connections and none have ever been more powerful than his connection to Carol.

I’ll spare ya’ll the paragraphs of how Daryl and Carol gravitated toward each other like magnets no matter the means of separation.

I’ll just spell it out like this: their bond supersedes all others, even Daryl’s bond with Rick. And with Daryl only accepting affection from those he trusts implicitly, Carol and Daryl have been the only potential “romantic” pairing that has ever fully made sense for his established character.

At least the character before Angela launched the grenade of Leah into the mix.

Leah was a fail from the start.

And you know what? I’m thinking that was largely intended (for various reasons) but I still think they could have shown Daryl as receptive to having a “romantic” relationship to those willfully blind to the possibility that he’s actually been in a “romantic” relationship with Carol since Season 2. Never mind that Carol and Daryl haven’t (yet) crossed certain physical boundaries yet. Emotionally? They are already there even if neither is able to admit it out loud with the actual words yet. But I digress. The people that never wanted to “see” Carol and Daryl as “romantic” because they couldn’t fathom Daryl as seeing Carol in that light had already deemed that Daryl just didn’t feel that way about her, that maybe he didn’t feel that way about anybody (if they couldn’t have their way and have him feel that way about their preferred choice for him, they preferred him alone), and Angela wanted to show them differently. To show them the light.

That said, if Angela was so hellbent on doing Leah? There were a multitude of better ways.

Here. I’ll give you one of them.

Daryl isolates himself from his family after Rick’s “death” same as he did in Angela’s version.

Carol’s been being pulled more and more to the Kingdom because Henry’s needing a mother figure is like catnip to her hurting natural-born, hurting Mama’s heart. So Daryl’s anchor to the man he’d matured into, the one with all these earned emotional attachments, is reeled back in, little by little, leaving him unmoored.

Dog literally runs into him just as before. It hardly makes sense given how young and floppy and uncoordinated puppies are and thus vulnerable to danger, but this is the least of things we need to worry about suspending disbelief for right? ;)

Dog and Daryl continue to have these run ins until Daryl decides to retrace the puppy’s clumsy trail and viola! He finds Leah’s cabin and Leah inside. She levels the same shotgun at him, they have a standoff, until---

Leah suddenly lowers the gun and incredulously says Daryl’s name.

That’s right. One simple change and Daryl and Leah have an undefined past already.

Daryl doesn’t completely let his guard down because he’s Daryl, but he relaxes enough that we see he doesn’t immediately regard Leah as dangerious to his own well-being.

From that point on, instead of tying Daryl up and threatening him, we could have been told the story of how they knew each other from before.

My version goes a little something like this--

Daryl met Leah through Merle. Merle, in turn, met Leah through the military before he got discharged. He and Leah had an ongoing “I scratch your itch if you scratch mine” thing and Leah? Well, she always had a bit of a soft spot/interest in Daryl that Daryl never really returned.

The thing is, though? With losing the chosen brother that filled the hole left behind by his lost blood brother Merle and losing Carol to her chasing after a chance of a new family (because she feels Daryl’s out of her reach too, our too blind and stupidly, silently in love idiots)? Daryl finds himself embracing the shared memories however minimal of that brief past and his grief and loneliness leave him receptive to Leah’s eventual advances in ways he never was before.

We’re still given hints of their unfolding relationship and we still don’t like it, but it makes more sense for Daryl to cling to the past when he feels he’s lost his future.

Leah still gives her ultimatum (there’s a reason she gravitated toward Merle in perhaps his most toxic state, she’s more than a little fucked up too) and it’s not as much of a hard sell that Daryl might be pulled in Leah’s direction when he feels Carol is all but lost to him.

Hell. They could have even explicitly discussed Carol. But wait! Angela would have never allowed that because she doesn’t want to shatter all the crackship dreams in one fell swoop.

But the story from that point on could have continued just as it has and probably I still wouldn’t have liked it but I could have at least bought it somewhat and understood it.

Obviously, it didn’t.

I don’t buy the Leah of it all. Angela built that “relationship” with monopoly money and it shows.

Because I don’t buy Leah period. I don’t buy Daryl giving even giving a shit about trying to or feeling like there’s a snowball’s chance to redeem her so I’m not engaged whatsoever with this Daryl double agent story and him even givign her crumbs about his real family.

That part rings false.

So that’s a big problem right there and we haven’t even gotten to the other part I don’t buy.

You know what else I don’t buy?

#2?

Why the hell are the Reapers so bloodthirsty for Maggie’s departure from this mortal coil?

Without giving better reasoning than they’re just cray-cray, the entire faceplants and considering it’s taken up about 70% of 11A’s focus? I’m pissed.

Because, IMHO, they should go big or go home on this to give it any entertainment value because it’s all stale, recycled air if not.

Maggie’s been established as a much darker character this season. Which led me to believer the Reapers probably had a legit beef against her, but it seems Angela is reluctant to go all that way down the rabbit hole and doesn’t want to commit to what could be a more entertaining and potentially fascinating story than just Maggie’s in the right, the Reapers are just evil.

Maggie is right about Negan, IMHO, but she’s also wrong in not listening to him when what he’s saying reeks of simple common sense. Ignoring sage advice makes her seem more like an angry toddler stamping her feet in defiance than the leader they are so bound and determined to tell us she is.

You know what? The window for me to give more than the half a fuck I’m giving right now as they beat this dead horse to dust closed when Maggie decided letting Negan rot in the ASZ jail cell was enough and spared him when she finally had her best chance to end him once and for all.

Maybe if they stopped having the same damn conversation and they didn’t take up 20% of the screen time left after the boring Reapers/Leah shit, I would be less resentful but I’m not and again, I’ll tell you why.

BECAUSE. We are in the last season of the OG TWD ever and this show has chosen to waste screen time on stories nobody cares about to the exclusion of the ones we’re yearning for more of.

Like ASZ. We’ve barely seen more than an hour of the eight hours devoted to Carol, Aaron, Rosita, Lydia, Judith, Kelly, Jerry and Co. in total. Especially since they’ve been trying to establish the Commonwealth on the side, too.

I mean, I never really expected to dig the Commonwealth so my expectations for it were lower than low so they’ve been exceeded at a miniscule level. But I expected and hoped for ASZ and those characters we’ve cared the most about to receive much more emphasis and the fact that they haven’t in this last season so far has been the biggest FAIL.

And okay. Selfishly, I want more Carol. She’s like salt. She makes almost everything go down better.

But really. Give me more of all the characters we actually care about, please. The Reapers and the offshoots from that story wheel aren’t it. I love Daryl but I hate this retread story for him. Leah is a weak point that pressed upon? Makes this weak ass arc collapse. Maggie and Negan are giving us nothing new. They are the definition of the word STALEMATE and that’s not what you want or need on the finale season of a show.

Yes, I have enjoyed the majority of the episodes overall, but that was because the moments I loved I weighted more than the ones I didn’t and know they have the most impact on the show down the road.

Probably 11A will fare better when all is said and done and the show can be binged but standalone? It’s been an overall disappointment and that saddens me more than I can say.

Anyway. I’m going to stop rambling now and try to psyche myself up for episode 8. I’ll be back with thoughts on it later, maybe.

Sorry for the word vomit, but I felt maybe I could in someway give voice to some of the feelings floating around out there and let you know that you are not alone.

Until later, lovelies.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #Shae's thinky thoughts #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

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weapon13whitefang · 3 years

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Here’s why I, personally, don’t think the Daryl Spoiler is as big of a fucking deal as people are making it out to be.

So it’s all over the fandom by now, Imma just say shit now. If you don’t wanna know, don’t read anymore okay? Sorry not sorry at this point.

For those that don’t know what I’m talking about and want to know, here’s the scoop – This is all told in flashback due to Dog leading Daryl and Carol to a Cabin Daryl recognizes. In the flashback, after the bridge explosion that “killed” Rick, Daryl seems to still be off wandering the woods and searching the water for Rick’s body (As we knew he was). We don’t know his state of mind or how he’s acting but if this isn’t long after Rick’s “Death” then he’s most likely still in mourning.

Well then Daryl runs into a woman named Leah, which we see a glimpse of this woman in one of the trailers (Which, honestly, is so quick and brief and for a second I thought it was Magna funny enough but annyywayyy), and at first she’s very stand-offish and up in arms against Daryl (understandable, most of the survivors that don’t know each other tend to be hostile/guarded against each other). She seems to realize Daryl isn’t a threat and the two part ways.

We’re give moments of time that show Daryl and Leah keep running into each other as he’s searching for Rick and Leah is doing whatever she is doing. We aren’t specified on how these constant run-ins are played out. We don’t know if Daryl talks to her or she confronts him a lot. We don’t know. We just know that time goes by and that they’ve formed a relationship with each other. We don’t get any specifics, again, besides she’s cooking for him at his camp, they’re snuggles up watching stars together, and apparently there’s a hint that they’re noodling with one another because the. we see Daryl and Leah under a blanket together in front of a fire and she snuggles him closer to her… And we get Dog as a Puppy… Which, does that mean Daryl and Leah found dog together? Or was Dog Leah’s dog and she left him to Daryl? Or what?... Oh well, Puppy Dog! Also… They don’t SHOW Daryl having sex. It’s implied, sure, but anything can look sexually implied with the right lighting and angle. So if they did bump uglies, I don’t know for certain until I get to SEE the episode.

Well, anyway, we then go from snuggles by the fire and puppies to back at the cabin with Leah telling Daryl that he needs to start choosing what he wants because she thinks he’s all over the place… Now, to be fair, it’s kind of always been that Daryl gets dragged all over the place. He’s torn between his loyalty to Rick and finding him, his loyalty to those in Alexandria, and now apparently his whatever relationship with Leah. Well if Daryl says anything to this, I don’t know the spoiler doesn’t say. But he apparently leaves and goes back to his search for Rick’s body before he’s back at the camp. Which leads to a meetup with Carol, who comes by his camp to bring him stuff but also to tell him she isn’t going to be able to visit him anymore because Ezekiel and Henry need her at the Kingdom (which explains a little to why Daryl seemed surprised to see her later on when she and Henry go looking for him). This news seems to settle things for Daryl and he wanders back to the cabin for Leah… But Leah isn’t there. But her shit is still around, so Daryl believes she’ll be back. So he leaves her, basically, a little love note. “I belong here with you. Come find me.” But it’s implied she chose to just leave him, even knowing the routes he takes to look for Rick and how to get to his camp.

So… that’s the big booharah that has everyone shitting themselves and freaking the fuck out… Over what? This is a flashback. FLASHBACK. Something that happened during the missing years of the time jump… This implies Daryl has been out in the woods for YEARS looking for Rick, first of all (Which OMG my fucking heart. Knew this but the confirmation makes my heart want to cry for their brotherly love U3U ). But this whole mess has shown me that… A lot of people would rather have Daryl alone and miserable in the woods than find any form of comfort in someone. He’s lonely for fuck sake! He’s lonely, his best friend said she won’t be coming around anymore, his brother-friend is “Dead”, and he’s not happy back at Alexandria without being able to put Rick to rest but doesn’t wanna be far from them in case they need him… He’s just a lonely guy. And, I’m sorry, but this belief that Daryl needs to be alone for six/seven years… That’s just cruel.

But here’s what is making me laugh. This is OBVIOUSLY a show of character develop for Daryl. About why he is more comfortable with opening up to someone like Connie (this isn’t a ship call out, this is an observation). That Daryl can be open to having a romantic interest when, up until now, he’s been the lone wolf character just floating around everyone. No real settlement to a character (no matter what you all think or wanna say, Daryl was never in-canon called out as being with any character in a romantic way. Can still say the same for Leah to). This was an opening for Daryl to not be alone anymore, because Carol wasn’t gonna be coming around anymore and no one else came out to help him/stay with him. So I don’t blame him for reaching for someone he connected to, even if only briefly. If Daryl is comfortable with you/cares for you in any capacity, he will reach out for you. And whether we like it or not, he got comfortable with Leah. He let her snuggle him, guys. That’s a big sign he was okay with her. Sexy time aside, whatever. He was something with her and she to him and then she was just outty-3000. Which is really sad for him... Someone else he was close to stopped coming around. Like, Damn. Daryl can’t catch a break. Also, let it be noted, he didn’t go chasing her down. He could’ve easily tracked Leah down to stay with her/let her know in person he’s picking her... He didn’t. That tells me a lot. That should tell you all a lot!

Third thing is… This happened IN THE PAST. This means that the Daryl we see that Carol and Henry finds and up until now is still the same Daryl we’ve been seeing. This doesn’t change his narrative. It just adds more layers to him. It shows more growth, That’s great after all those seasons of Daryl having no lines or actions or any growth. It’s downright beautiful to me!

Nothing has changed for Daryl. He’s still the same as he was… Well right now he’s very angry and hurt and fighting with Carol, but he’s in a raw state right now. Remembering something like that then having a recent heart wrenching event be brought back up – the Connie trapped thing – has made Daryl’s hackles rise and he’s lashing out. We know that’s what Daryl does. He bites hard and digs into what makes you upset. Like when he threw the stuff about Beth cutting her wrist at her. He said that to specifically hurt her. Just as he threw the “No… That’s on You. That’s on you because you never know when to stop”. He held back on biting her head off back when the event happened. Which shows a lot of growth from Daryl and a lot of maturity. But he’s raw and upset so he’s digging at her.

This won’t end their friendship. Friends and couples fight all the time. This doesn’t mean they’re finished with each other. For the Carylers out there hissing a fit, these two are raw and broken characters and sometimes two similar characters hurt each other cause they know how to. But that doesn’t mean they hate each other. And I believe Daryl when he said “I aint ever gonna hate you”. He’s just angry and Carol is defensive and that’s not a good combo for anyone together...

For you Bethylers, so what if he fucked someone else? It’s not like Daryl was an actual virgin. Norman said he liked the idea of playing Daryl LIKE a virgin. But I always took that as emotionally. He’s an emotional virgin learning to experience and grow and shy about his feelings and understanding them…. He’s MERLE DIXON’S little brother. He followed Merle around. You think Daryl didn’t fuck around when he and Merle were running around? Look at Season 1 Daryl. That boy was a rough around wild man. Aint no way he never fucked before. Or at least got a blow job. I’m not saying he couldn’t be, but I don’t see Merle letting his brother move about with him without getting fucked/not letting his brother come off as gay (To put it in Merle’s colorful term). Not the way those characters were before S3. Nah.

For the Donnie fans, this just explains why he’s been so easy to open to Connie. He’s had practice letting someone in and being comfortable with the idea of it again. Connie also makes it easy on him by being her adorable and understanding self. Without Daryl’s growth into a previous emotional/physical relationship, I don’t see them connecting as quickly as they did.

I really do not see why this has everyone in a frantic state, Maybe I just look at things differently? Or I just don’t care that much about who Daryl ends up with forever. As long as he’s in a good headspace and happy… Let Daryl Fuck! Let him develop away from the Alexandrian’s and everyone else. Let him develop at all, Jesus…

#the walking dead #the walking dead spoilers #daryl dixon #beth greene #twd carol #queen carol #twd connie #twd leah #twd spoilers #the Daryl Dixon incident

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years

Text

A Place To Call Home: TJ’s Talk

Summary: TJ’s father, Rick, comes into town to have a talk with his son, Jensen and the reader after TJ’s revelation that he still isn’t getting along with his dad. Rick has a very different idea of parenting than Jensen though and things bewteen the Hanovers and Ackles get heated fast...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 8,200ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N: This part takes place after the Dark Roads timestamp. Enjoy!

______

“Babe, relax,” you said, rubbing TJ’s shoulders in your kitchen. He let out a deep breath and you caught your dad raising an eyebrow from his seat at the counter. “You boys are just gonna talk.”

“I want you to stay,” said TJ. You glanced over to your dad and he shrugged.

“I’m fine with that. Just be prepared for things to get a little rough,” said your dad.

“Nothing’s gonna be worse than the time I…” you trailed off, both of them looking at you. You waved them off and went over to the fridge to get a drink.

“Something from foster care?” asked TJ. You paused with the door open, nodding your head once and grabbing a beer. You popped the tab open and took a long drink, both of them still watching you. “Something I don’t know about?”

“It doesn’t matter. I can handle rough is all I was trying to say,” you said, hopping up to sit on the counter. TJ went back to pacing around the island, your dad cocking his head at you. “This is about, TJ, not me.”

“Okay, little miss defensive,” he said.

“Dad. It’s nothing you don’t already know.”

“We’re talking about this later,” he said. You rolled your eyes as the three of you heard a car door out front. A few moments later, the doorbell rang and TJ left to answer it.

“Hey, Rick. How was the drive?” asked your dad, getting up when TJ’s dad walked in the kitchen with him.

“Not bad. Still not quite sure what this guy weekend or whatever is all about. How’re you doing from the accident?” he asked.

“Oh it was three months ago. Y/N and I are all good,” said your dad. You forced a smile and Rick returned it, TJ rolling his eyes behind his father’s back. “The accident is kind of what got this weekend together actually.”

“Why’s Y/N here if it’s supposed to be guys?” asked Rick.

“TJ asked me to be here,” you said, jumping off the counter. “Would you like a drink?”

“I’ll take an old fashioned,” he said.

“How about a beer?” you said, taking one out of the fridge. You walked it over and he scowled. “Rick. Take the beer.”

“I asked for an old fashioned.”

“See that thing over there? That’s a kitchen. You want one, make it yourself,” you said. You plopped the beer down on the counter and took a seat on the couch, Rick looking at TJ.

“What exactly is her problem? It your time of the month?”

“Rick,” said your dad. “Let’s just have everybody take a seat and start over, hm?”

“She offered a drink, not me,” he said as he sat on the other side of the wrap around couch. TJ looked ready to pop already and you gave him a look, watching him calm down after a minute. He took the beer for himself and found some whiskey for his dad, carrying it over before he took a seat next to you. “Was that so hard?”

“Rick, maybe let’s cool it. The kids aren’t too happy with you and frankly, neither am I,” said your dad as he sat down nearby. Rick blinked slowly and held up a hand.

“What the Hell did I do? Are they still upset over the spanking thing? That was months ago.”

“You ever lay a hand on our children, I’ll kick your ass,” you said with a smile. “But no, that’s not what this is about.”

“TJ, you hang around with the little rich bitch and her pretty douchebag fake dad that you know there was something going on there and this is what you turn into. I told you this girl would be the worst thing in the world for you,” said his dad.

“I don’t even know where to begin with that sentence,” said your dad, getting to his feet. Rick popped up and you quickly jumped between the two of them.

“Dad. Sit down,” you said. He glared at Rick and you shoved him back to the couch. “You had a high grade concussion. You got cleared to drive a week ago. Sit your ass down.”

“She wear the pants for all you boys? Or just the ones you play around with,” said Rick. You balked and turned your attention on him, already feeling both your dad and TJ up behind you.

“I’d be very careful about what you say next, Rick, because I feel like punches are about to be thrown and I’d really like to avoid that. I think we all would. Now I know we’ve never really gotten along but you made your son and I love him. He is my best friend and he fixes broken things in me. So I’m going to give you a chance to sit down and talk. All of us are. These two men behind me are my safe place. I was a mess before either of them, Rick. Don’t confuse love with-”

“He’s not a toy for you to play with when you get bored,” said Rick. “He-”

“Sit down!” shouted TJ. You jumped back into your dad, both of you taking a seat. Rick slowly sat, watching his son. “You’re unbelievable. The way you talk to my wife. To my father-in-law, the guy I think of as my actual dad. You’re disgusting. I’m done. Get out of my life.”

“TJ,” you said as he stood and headed straight for the front door. You heard the car going outside and he drove off, leaving you standing there sighing.

“What did I do?” asked Rick.

“You called his wife a bitch for starters,” said your dad, throwing a pillow at him. “You treat her like a maid to beckon on you. I’ve seen it a million times. Oh, let’s not forget about the implying I sleep with my daughter because that’s not fifty kinds of fucked up. Then you make him feel like piece of shit that-”

“This is your fault,” said Rick as he stood up and stood in front of where your dad sat. “You weird hollywood guys are all emotional or whatever and I get that that’s your thing but he is a man and he needs to learn to not be so sensitive. Ever since he met-”

“You are a fucking asshole,” you laughed. “Like, it’s amazing how big an asshole you are.”

“I never liked him mixing up with you,” he said as you walked back over and tried to keep your dad seated. “He was supposed to be a police officer. He was supposed-”

“He likes architecture,” you grit out, clenching your fists. “You’re supposed to not be a dick but we don’t all get what we want, hm?”

“Watch yourself,” he said, grabbing your arm. “You spoiled rotten brat. You-”

“Let go of her or I’m going to join her in the ass kicking,” said your dad, grabbing Rick’s arm. He unclamped his arm and you saw him think about throwing a punch before you stepped between them again.

“All your son wants is for you to love him. He doesn’t want to be afraid of you anymore and hurting us isn’t going to get you anywhere,” you said. He stared at you blankly and sat down, your dad easing down when you took a seat beside him.

“What do you mean my son is afraid of me?”

“She means...TJ’s never felt like he could talk to you about anything of importance, anything he knows you would disapprove of, like his architecture. A month ago, it hit TJ that we both almost died and it upset him. What upset us was that he was afraid that if we really had died, you would be angry with him for crying over the loss,” said your dad. His dad sat back in his seat, suddenly leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Your wife dying, that’s…” he said, glancing at you. You turned your chin up and he sighed to himself as he rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s different. I get crying for that.”

“What about me?” asked your dad. “I love him. He loves me. If I died, is he allowed to cry for that?”

“I should have said crying at a death is different,” said Rick.

“When’s the last time you cried, Rick,” you said. He stared at you and you shrugged. “When?”

“How about you first.”

“Easy. Three months ago. I watched my father slowly die in front of me while suffering from an array of injuries and second stage hypothermia. Oh yes, I forgot about the part where I had to shove my hand in his open wound to keep him alive all while putting him in excruciating pain. That was different than the time I was ten and I watched strapped in the backseat as my mom died from a punctured lung and my dad bled out from a piece of metal impaling his skull. Oh, then the car caught on fire and I had to crawl out past them with a severe head injury. That’s just the tip of my shit storm of a life. You want to talk about what’s tough and what’s manly? Take a walk in my life for a while. Feelings are meant to be felt, no matter what’s between your legs. Until you’ve experienced pain, real pain, don’t you dare insinuate when and when not it’s appropriate to cry you pathetic little man.”

He was frozen solid, just staring at you. Your dad shifted beside you and sat up, resting his arms on his knees.

“She’s got a bigger set than you could ever realize. Trust me, Rick. You don’t want to piss this one off.”

“You’re talking about physical pain,” he said when he finally could speak again. You rolled your eyes and slumped down into the couch, your dad chuckling. “What?”

“No, she’s not. Physical pain hurts but it goes away. Shit like watching someone you love die like that? That leaves marks. Her entire foster upbringing? It leaves marks. You can’t seem them but they’re there. Your son makes her forget they exist. He makes that ache less inside of her. He makes it less for me. I don’t worry as much as I would if he weren’t with her. I have a close relationship with my daughter, Rick. I’m fortunate to have one so close. But we fought for it. She didn’t want me and now, now she’ll stand up to an asshole because you called her dad names. TJ just wants to see a glimmer of what we have with you. He wants to know you love him that much.”

“Of course I love him.”

“When’s the last time you gave him a hug?” you asked. He shrugged and you threw up your hands.

“I’ll give him more hugs then,” he said, your dad shaking his head.

“If it’s not genuine, he’ll know. I’m not saying you have to get to the point Y/N and I am at. But you need to show your son that if he needs to feel things, he can do that in front of you. I know it’s not how you were raised. It’s not really how I was raised either. But somehow, our generation figured out that it’s okay for boys to cry and that guys should be gentlemen and best friends and lovers and protectors. You did something right with that boy. Do something right for yourself or I promise, I promise, he will never forgive you for how you treated us here today,” said your dad as he got up. “I need another beer.”

“Same,” you groaned.

“You really raise your son to talk about his feelings?” asked Rick.

“Seems to be working out so far,” said your dad. “Case and point, he’s starting to discover things about his body. We had a very open conversation about it. I talk to my daughters about puberty. I talk to this one about lots of shit. If your kids feel like they can talk to you, they’ll talk to you.”

“I do talk to my son,” he said. You dad sighed as he got out another beer for himself and you. He handed yours over the back of the couch before he leaned over the back of it.

“When’s the last time your son asked a question about marriage, kids, love, intimacy-”

“Guys don’t talk about that shit without their girl around and you know it.”

“What a sad little life you live, Rick,” said your dad, taking a sip. “I love gushing to my buddies about my wife and bragging about my kids. Last week between football and cars, we talked about how much we love our partners. You ever done that? You ever even sat down with your wife and tell her how you feel about her and not do it because you want sex?”

“I love my wife and my son. Don’t tell me I don’t.”

“I didn’t say you don’t. I’m saying, don’t assume they can read your mind. Your son wants to know that he can talk to you and you’ll respect him, no matter the conversation. That’s all,” said your dad.

“I do. Obviously I should be talking to him and not the two of you,” he said. He stood up and you sighed, Rick shooting you a look. “Just because you’ve had crap, doesn’t give you an excuse to be a stuck up bitch.”

“Rick, I think it’s a good idea if you headed back to your hotel. Maybe TJ will want to talk to you, maybe not but right now, we‘re done,” you said. He slammed the door on the way out, your dad fuming on the couch still. “Cool it.”

“Don’t talk to me like a child,” he said. He started to head for the front door but you jumped in front of him, the sound of a car taking off in the background. “He deserves to get his ass kicked.”

“Do you think I’ve never been called a bitch before? Never been accused of...you know,” you said, your dad shaking his head. “The second you adopted me the internet-”

“I told you not to read internet comments,” he said.

“This isn’t about us. It’s about TJ. We barely ever have to see Rick. TJ can decide on his own what he wants his relationship with his father to be,” you said. You wandered back into the family room to grab your beer before you went into the kitchen. He followed you and you took a deep breath. “What?”

“I told you not to read internet comments.”

“You told me to get in the damn car and I didn’t listen then. Guess what. I was right,” you said, scowling at him. “You don’t know everything.”

“You almost died,” he said, his jaw clenched. “You had stage two hypothermia while you were in shock and-”

“Big fucking deal. I wasn’t gushing blood out of my stomach.”

“You were as injured as I was. You-”

“Funny. I seem to have been given the all clear by doctors months ago.”

“Don’t start this shit again,” he said.

“Don’t start your shit again,” you said. “I made a choice. Fucking live with it.”

“I can’t!” he shouted. You stared at him and he shut his eyes. He plopped down onto the floor and you sat beside him, taking hold of his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t...I don’t mean like that.”

“I know, dad,” you said, rubbing his hand.

“I can’t protect you from an accident. I can’t protect you from your asshole father-in-law,” he said. He crossed his legs and you bumped your shoulder into his before resting your head on it.

“You could totally kick his ass,” you said. He chuckled and nodded, resting his head on top of yours. “You gonna be this grumpy when you’re like, old and need real help?”

“Probably,” he laughed. “I know, kiddo. I know. I don’t like feeling weak is all.”

“This guy, like this really old guy, told me something once,” you said, already halfway to getting an noogie. “Needing help isn’t weakness. It just means you need help.”

“Rick just really pushed my buttons,” he said. “He is so not like TJ.”

“His dad worked a lot. I’m pretty sure his mom raised him for the most part,” you said.

“You think he’s jealous of me?”

“Yes,” you said. “But he doesn’t get to be rude to you just because you get along with his son better.”

“You reminded me of when they almost took you away that day, the way you stood up to the social worker. You protected yourself. You protected us. I forget you’ve always been this way,” he said.

“I lost one set of parents. I’m not losing another,” you said. He ruffled your hair and you leaned back against the cabinets, your dad doing the same. “Why doesn’t he like me? Rick.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s concerned because of who we are that his son would lose anonymity or be subjected to some stereotypical Hollywood bullshit. I don’t know. He’s always talked down to you. Mom and I kept our mouths shut because you asked us to but that’s not gonna cut it anymore, Y/N.”

“I don’t want any more fighting is all,” you said.

“You’re not mad at me for setting this up?”

“Dad, you wanted to help TJ. I’ll never be mad at you for wanting to do that. It makes me really happy actually,” you said.

“He’s alright,” he said with a smile. “You want to go try and find him?”

“I know where he is,” you said. He cocked his head and you got up, helping him to his feet. “He’s at the gym. He goes there to work out when he gets pissed or stressed. He’ll be home when he’s ready. I’ll give him a few hours before I go looking.”

“Well, you want to go have dinner with the kiddos?” he asked.

“Allie and Colin are sleeping over a friend’s tonight,” you said.

“I know. Come on. No use in sitting in this house overthinking everything,” he said. “Mom made veggie lasagna again.”

“Gross. Burgers?” you asked.

“Burgers,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m sure the crew would love to get some one on one time with big sis.”

“Hey, Y/N,” asked JJ as you finished making up four sundaes for you and your siblings after dinner. You hummed as you got them on a tray to bring up to the TV room. She walked around the island, standing next to you. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you said with a smile.

“You’re really not,” she said.

“I’m fine,” you said.

“You’re really not,” said another voice. You spun around, catching TJ walk in from the front door. “JJ was worried so she texted me and that made me cool right off.”

“You text him?” you asked.

“He’s kinda been like my brother since forever, doofus,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Give us a minute, JJ,” asked TJ. He handed her the tray of sundaes and she headed up to the TV room, TJ resting his hands on your hips and his forehead against yours. “I’m so incredibly sorry for the way my father treated you and Jensen today. I...I don’t understand him. He’s been calling and texting, saying he wants to talk but-”

“Then let’s talk,” you said.

“Y/N.”

“TJ. Your dad loves you. He just…” you trailed off as you spotted your dad slip in from the back porch.

“Let’s give Rick another shot,” he said.

“Really?” asked TJ.

“Yeah,” you said. “I have an inkling of what’s going on if you guys are willing to let me talk to Rick on my own for a bit.”

“I’m not thrilled with the idea but alright,” said your dad.

“Y/N, I don’t know. He was-“

“TJ. I know the difference between a good and bad dad. Trust me?” you asked.

“One hour,” he said.

“That’s all I need.”

“Thanks for meeting me,” you said half an hour later. Rick nodded as he stepped inside the empty finished house.

“You and your old man gonna bury me out in the back of this place?” he asked.

“Nah. We’d do that at the brewery,” you said with a smile. “I was wondering what you thought of this house.”

“It’s a great house. Are you thinking of buying it?”

“Rick. This is an example. I know it’s a great house. What makes it great to you?” you asked.

“Kid,” he sighed.

“Entertain me for calling me a bitch and a slut,” you said.

“I didn’t call you a slut.”

“You heavily implied that I’ve slept with-“

“I know what I said. I was out of line,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s a start. Now tell me what makes this house great to you?” you asked.

“I don’t know. It’s big.”

“What else?”

“The kitchen is nice.”

“What’s nice about the kitchen?”

“The beams are nice,” he said. “The windows are a good size.”

“What else?”

“Why are we doing this?” he asked.

“Because your son designed this house from scratch. It’s assessed at 3.2 million dollars. TJ doesn’t know this yet but his manager submitted this home to Architectural Digest for consideration on a story. He also doesn’t know that he not only got a story, he got the cover. He’s the youngest at his firm to ever do that. He has incredible talent.”

“He built this?” he asked.

“He designed each room and the home and then worked with an engineer to have the home built. It wasn’t for a client. It was his first original house he did. It sold for 4 million. His idea did that. It is hard to sell a house for that much when it’s not for a buyer already. Rick, your son is extremely talented and that’s just his job. It’s a fraction of who he is.”

“I get that his job is harder than I give him credit for,” he said. “I worked my ass off, twelve hour days, for years. He makes more money in a year than I do in four. That’s just him. That’s not counting what you make which I’m sure is right up there. It’s like you kids got handed everything and-”

“Rick. TJ worked his ass off in school and college and at his job to get to where he is. He wasn’t handed that. You sacrificed things I’m sure for him but that’s our jobs as parents. I’ve been working at the brewery since I was a teenager. You want to know my first job? I cleaned up the tables, the outdoor area, the bathrooms. I did the garbage and helped keep the brewing room clean. My parents have money but they didn’t just hand me a business. I moved up through it and that is why I have the job I do now. I don’t even own it. They do and you know how my dad got money to build it? Twelve hour days, working his ass off for years.”

“He acts.”

“Yeah. He also made jack shit his first two years of his show. He earned more the more responsibility got put on him. Him doing his job employed so many people and he had that pressure on him constantly. He barely got to breathe just like I’m sure you did. He’s not what you think he is and neither am I. We didn’t ask to talk for a fight. All of us love Thomas and we want to know that if something horrible happened, he could fall apart and you will be there with no judgement. It’s all we wanted.”

Rick took a deep breath and wandered around the house for a moment before he went over to the patio door. You walked out with him, watching him lean against the railing for a moment before sitting down on the step out there. You took one beside him, Rick rubbing his hand over his mouth.

“Why is it so hard to talk about this? It’s just me here,” you said.

“Because you don’t…” he said, closing his eyes. “Guys don’t talk about feelings and crap.”

“Yes they do. The ones that don’t are scared of being open which is understandable. But I’m not telling anyone. I have a lot of secrets. I can keep more.”

“Your parents died. I get it,” he said.

“TJ doesn’t talk about his grandparents much. Your parents,” you said.

“They died when he was a baby. Lung cancer and a heart attack,” he said.

“Your dad ever hit you with a belt?” you asked. “Spanking?”

“Yeah, cause that’s how it was done back then.”

“He ever beat you with it?”

“Excuse me?”

“There’s a difference between a hit and a beat. Something about you feels like you really didn’t care for your parents.”

“Yeah, they were assholes. I was actually happy when my dad died so there,” he said.

“One of my foster parents had a kind of stressful job. They were fosters for the benefits. You know, they got money for us that was supposed to go to stuff for us but it was always for them. He used to come home in a bad mood a lot. He took turns beating on our backs. I was about twelve. One night he went too far. I was black and blue and it started bleeding. Blood got on the sheets so he got even more upset. He took me down to the basement and wailed on my back until I passed out. I missed a week of school while I recovered. I still have a thin little line on my back from it. Looks like a birthmark. TJ knows about that night. It’s why he got so angry with you over you and Allie.”

“I hit him a few times with one,” he said. “Thomas. I shouldn’t...it was different when I was a kid.”

“Yeah, it was. But you’re not happy your dad died unless he used to do some fucked up shit to you.”

He turned his head and you shrugged.

“I had plenty of bad foster dads, Rick. I can understand and I get that you don’t talk about stuff because it’s easier. You don’t have to talk at all. Just listen to your son.”

“What’s the worst thing that one of them ever did?” he asked.

“Don’t try to compare my shitty childhood to yours. It’s not a competition.”

“What’s the best thing one ever did then?”

“I ran away the night I turned 17 because I thought I was fucking up their perfect family. He found me, brought me home and warmed me up. I kept pushing them away so he took me outside and we talked. Told me adults have feelings and that if I left again, he would come after me again and bring me home to my family. I hated Jensen when I first met him, Rick. Hated everything about him. That night I realized, on our own, it wasn’t bullshit. He cared and there was nothing I could ever do to make him not. Don’t judge us for having a close relationship. It wasn’t always that way and I needed it to get to where I am today.”

“What do you want me to do?” he asked quietly. You furrowed your brow and he stared blankly at you. “What do you want me to do, Y/N? I doubt my son even wants to speak to me again.”

“Tell him about yourself.”

“He knows me.”

“Does he know that your parents weren’t all that great?”

“No. I could never tell him that,” he said. “I’m his father.”

“It’s not pity. It’s understanding. It explains some of your behavior earlier today.”

“I can’t.”

“Are you afraid he’ll judge you? Think you’re weak?”

“Yes. Yes,” he said, shooting you a hard look. “All I have is being the tough guy.”

“No. It’s all you’ve let yourself be. TJ helps my father, who is the grumpiest man in the world when he’s hurt, he’s helped him get around ever since the accident. He’s driven him to doctors appointments. They went to therapy together. I know you’re jealous of them and my dad never intended to make you feel that way. It’s always...it means a lot to me to see him love the man I love. If you want to be pissed at anyone for it, be pissed at me.”

“Jensen was right. You are tougher than you look,” he said. He rested his hands in his lap, staring down to the patio area. “I really don’t want to tell my son.”

“You hurt him today. It is not an easy fix. You need to be vulnerable and hope he does not hurt you back. That’s what a family is. You do it enough, you realize you never had to be afraid of them hurting you in the first place.”

“Why aren’t you livid with me?”

“I understand wanting to keep it all inside. I was that way until the actor guy forced it out of me and I’m really glad he did. I won’t be angry at someone who is willing to try. I know it’s not easy, I’ve been there. But you gotta try.”

“Jensen want to kick my ass still?”

“He’ll let it go for TJ. I think we both want an apology though.”

“Understood. Before you send TJ over here, can I ask you a question?”

“What?”

“Do you think I have a chance with him?”

“Your son is one of the kindest human beings I’ve ever known. He is good down to his soul. If you mean it, you have a chance,” you said.

“Hey kid,” he said as you stood up. “I never disliked you because you were bad for him. I didn’t like you because it was obvious how much more he liked your family.”

“You can be part of the family too, Rick. No one ever said you couldn’t be.”

He nodded and you turned to head back inside.

“There’s a cooler with drinks in the kitchen. I’ll send TJ so you two can talk.”

“How do you know he’ll come?”

“Because I’m gonna ask him to. Oh and give him a hug. He likes hugs.”

“Thanks, kid.”

“How you think it’s going?” asked your dad late that night as you lay in bed with him and your mom.

“Good. I hope,” you said. “Why is your bed comfier than mine?”

“Cause it’s your parents bed. Parents beds always feel better,” said your mom.

“Valid point,” you said, trying to go back to watching your movie.

“Jensen, you have something you want to tell Y/N, didn’t you?” she said.

“Nope,” he said.

“Dad. Come on. Gimmie that tea,” you said making grabby hands. Your mom laughed and you giggled but he barely cracked. “Is it serious?”

“Tell her Jay or I will. You said you would,” she said.

“Dad?” you asked. He sat up and smiled.

“Mom and I talked a bit after the accident and we decided that we’d like to put you as our power of attorney along with each other. In an emergency, you can make a decision for us if you can’t reach mom or you can’t reach me. The way it is now, only if we’re both incapable would you be it but...you made the right call before. We know you would never do anything but make the choice you think should be made so we want to do that now that you’re a little older,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. You sat up and used part of his weighted blanket on yourself. “I told Rick a little about what happened in foster care. One of the bad things.”

“You feeling okay?” asked your mom.

“Yeah. Earlier you said you wanted to talk, dad, about the rough thing.”

“You made it sound like something that wasn’t in your file.”

“Cause it’s not. I know the roughest thing I’ve ever done,” you said. “You do too. You were there.”

He nodded and smiled to himself before you curled up against your mom. You felt him behind you and she moved to hold onto the both of you as best as possible.

“Dad says he yelled at you pretty bad on that road,” she said. You hummed and she bumped the top of your head. “Did that scare you?”

“I didn’t like him yelling at me but no, I haven’t been scared of dad in an incredibly long time,” you said. “Your husband can be kind of an idiot is all.”

“I heard that,” he mumbled, a small rumble in his chest though where he tried to hide his laugh.

“The both of you can be idiots but you’re mine,” she said, kissing your forehead. “Dad was a bit worried you got upset with him earlier.”

“Dad,” you said, turning your head back.

“Thanks for that, De,” he said, closing his eyes. “You’re having a long day. I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

“We’re good,” you said. “I just hope it goes okay with TJ.”

“Us too,” said your mom.

“Well how come I didn’t know we were having a sleepover?” said TJ from the doorway. You sat up and got out of bed, TJ smiling. “We’ll be back.”

“How’d it go?” you asked, taking a seat on the couch with him. He took your hand and tilted his head at you.

“We’re gonna talk more, do a weekly phone call. He’s gonna cut back at work and spend more time with my mom or so he says,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. He wants to be a happier person he said cause he’s actually a very unhappy person apparently,” he said. You scooted closer and gave him a hug, TJ pulling you into his lap. “He told me a lot of stuff Y/N. I understand him a bit better. He still owes you and Jensen an apology but it’d mean a lot if you guys gave him a second chance. I’m still mad at him but it’s a start.”

“Of course, honey,” you said. “Your dad doesn’t have to be like mine. I just need to know that you have support from him if you ever need it.”

“I know I will. He told me I’m lucky to have you. He said it’s very apparent to him now just how much you love me.”

“A part of me has loved you since I was eighteen years old, Thomas. You were a normal boy and I wanted you to be with a normal girl and not one who got nightmares and had a history like mine. It’s why I was always trying to set you up with someone else and that night when I was alone and you came over...I finally admitted I wanted you for me. I wanted my best friend to be mine and maybe you wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t normal. You’d already put up with me for two years at that point.”

“I wanted you for me the whole time. I just thought she’s not into me, she keeps trying to set me up with her friends,” he said with a big smile. “Then she held my hand when I was walking her back to her car one night. She said she was scared. But we were the only ones around. So I thought maybe she changed her mind, maybe there’s something more. Maybe she fell too. But I was a chicken shit that night and didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything for months. Until she texted me one night and wanted to talk cause she was home alone and I knew she was scared. I wasn’t being an idiot twice. The look of relief on your face when I showed up at that front door over there was...it’s how I feel when I see you every day. Loved and special and yours. I didn’t want to be with a normal girl. I wanted to be with you and you wanted me too and it worked. I’m more than the luckiest guy on the planet. I get you and Allie and Colin and these crazy people that are our family. If I have to have a dad that was a bit crappy for part of that, I will pay that price for it.”

“I’m a sucker for boys that talk about love,” you said. You gave him a big kiss, TJ chuckling as he returned it. He hugged you tight and you bumped noses, giggling quietly to yourselves. “Babe. If your dad is jealous of the time you spend with mine-”

“That’s his problem. He is more than welcome to come visit more. They don’t live that far away. I’m not changing my relationship with Jensen. Tomorrow, he’s going to apologize to you both he said and we can all go from there.”

“Okay,” you said, kissing his nose. “You want to go home or hang here?”

“We can stay here,” he said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I still feel kind of bad about what happened today. Your parents are pretty good at making me feel better. Not that you aren’t. I-”

“I know babe,” you said. “Let’s go on up to the TV room, see if we can get them out of that comfy bed.”

“Hey,” said your dad as you walked out of his room. “TJ, you got a sec?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Let’s go take a walk,” said your dad. “I won’t keep him long, just around the block.”

“Alright. Be safe.”

Jensen’s POV

“What are we doing?” asked TJ when we got to the end of the driveway.

“Taking a walk,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. He took a deep breath but followed as we headed down the street. “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Kiddo.”

“I feel shitty,” he said. I nodded and we walked quietly until we got to the end of the driveway of a home for sale. I walked over to the front porch and took a seat, TJ slowly coming over on his own.

“Seems to be a lot of that going around today,” I said. TJ kept his head down and I bumped his arm. “Why did you lie to Y/N?”

“What?”

“You got in a pretty big fight with your dad tonight. Maybe you didn’t lie but you left that part out.”

“How-“

“Cause I know you and I know I saw you force that smile on your face for her.”

“Y/N had a shitty childhood, worse than him, and you don’t see her being an asshole,” he said. “He wants me to spend less time with you and more with him.”

“What do you want?” I asked, planting my hands behind me and leaning back.

“I told him I wouldn’t do that and he didn’t like that,” said TJ. He shrugged and started to pick at a weed in the pavers, ripping it apart in his hands.

“Are you gonna have your talks?” he asked. He lifted his head up and I smiled. “We were listening at the door. Sue us.”

“Yeah. But he thinks our relationship would improve if I spent less time with you.”

“TJ, I’m not your dad,” I said. He nodded and glanced down. “I’m not Y/N’s dad either. I didn’t make her. I’ve known her a year and a half longer than you is all.”

“But you’re her dad.”

“Yeah. I’m your dad too. Who you come from and your blood is important but it’s not the only thing. It doesn’t have to be anything. I want you to have a relationship with your dad. I’d love for you to have a great one with him. If you want to spend less time with me, I’ll do it. I won’t like it, but I’ll do it.”

“I think he’ll always be jealous, no matter what. Not unless I cut you off or started to really distance myself from you. I love him but I don’t understand why he’d ask me to do something like that.”

“He’s probably afraid of losing you.”

“I don’t understand him,” said TJ. I sat up and he fiddled with his hands. “I just don’t get why he’d ask me that. You’re willing to let me go, something that would hurt you, if I wanted it. All he does is ask me to do things that hurt people.”

“TJ-”

“No. Fuck him. If he’s gonna act like that then fuck him. Stay the fuck away from my family. If he had hit Allie, I swear to God, I could have killed him. That’s my fucking daughter,” he said. He ran his hands through his hair and I rubbed his back, TJ taking a few deep breaths. “Do you ever stop being terrified of something hurting them?”

“No,” I said. “It changes though and the problems change. If they wind up with someone good, you worry a smidge less knowing someone else loves them as much as you do. TJ, you’ll never be your father. I see you with Allie and Colin. You don’t treat them differently because one’s a girl and one’s a boy. If you keep loving them the way you do, they’ll turn out just fine.”

“You’re gonna tell me to give him a real chance, aren’t you.”

“TJ, start small. Try the weekly phone calls, see how it goes. It’s not gonna be overnight. Don’t worry about me or Y/N or the rest of us. Just try talking to your dad first,” I said.

“He’s gonna come by our house in the morning and apologize to you and Y/N he said. I don’t know how genuine it’ll be.”

“Give him more credit than that.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. I bumped his shoulder and he sighed before I threw my arm over it. “My dad barely hugged me.”

“Yeah, but I like cuddles,” I said, getting a laugh out of him. I wrapped my arms around him and he took a shaky breath. “If you need a hug and Y/N or the kids aren’t around, come find me, alright?”

“Okay,” he said. He rested his chin on my shoulder and turned his head away.

“Thomas. Look at me,” I said. He turned it towards me and I smiled. “I love you kiddo.”

“I love you too,” he said, turning away.

“Try that again,” I said. “What’d I tell you before about being embarrassed?”

“I love you too,” he said, a little bashful looking but he kept his head up that time.

“That’s my dork,” I said. He rolled his eyes and I stood up. He got up to his feet and glanced down again. “TJ, we’re beyond the shy stage. What is it?”

“Your parents did a really good job with you is all,” he said.

“They were okay,” I chuckled. “De changed me too. My friends did. My kids did. You did.”

“I did?”

“Of course you did. I got a buddy to help protect someone very important to me. But he didn’t just do it for her. He did it for her brother and sisters, did it for her mom. He even did it for her father because he ended up caring about all of them too at some point. We love you. You love us. It’ll work out, TJ. It takes time is all,” I said.

“Thanks,” he said, giving me a smile as we watched a police cruiser pull into the driveway. He glanced at me and I shrugged. Two officers got out and turned on their flashlights, hitting us both in the face.

“What are you gentlemen up to this evening?” asked the first officer.

“My son-in-law and I were taking a walk and needed to have a sort of big conversation so we took a seat on the front porch here. No one lives here so-”

“How do you know no one lives there?” asked the second officer.

“I live just down the street there and my son-in-law is just around the corner from me. We’ve seen the house vacant for some time,” I said. The officers shared a look and I saw TJ glancing over at me. “Is there a problem?”

“We received a report of two men at this residence who were trespassing and possibly looking to attempt robbery. If we can see some ID’s and confirm your residence’s, you two can be on your way,” said the first officer.

“I don’t have my wallet,” said TJ.

“Neither do I,” I said. “We just went on a walk. Literally my house is-”

“Hands behind your back, gentlemen,” said the second officer. Fuck. I sighed but nodded, TJ, swallowing. “Now.”

“It’s fine,” I said, turning around and feeling my hands get tugged together behind me. “I’ll call the lawyer and they’ll settle-”

“Jensen Ross Ackles and Thomas James Hanover. What are you two doing at the Maxwell’s old place?” I heard behind us. I spun around and saw Mrs. Hendrickson in her pajamas at the end of the driveway across the street.

“Mrs. Hendrickson. Mind telling these officers we live here?” I asked, holding up my hands.

Five minutes later they were gone and we were walking back home, TJ checking over his shoulder as the police cruiser drove off.

“Let’s not tell the girls about that. They’ll worry,” I said.

“Agreed. At least our response time in the neighborhood is good,” he said.

“Yeah, you got a point there. You feel any better? I know we got interrupted back there,” I said.

“I’m okay. I think I’ll grab Y/N and we’ll head home.”

“Alright,” I said. “You’re always welcome to stay.”

When we walked inside though, there was a round of laughs from the kitchen, TJ smiling to himself.

“Maybe we’ll stay the night.”

“What do you need right now?” I asked.

“Lay in bed saying nothing with her,” he said.

“Go home then. There’s plenty of other nights you can stay over. Let her take care of you.”

“You sure?”

“It’s not about me tonight. It’s about you. Now grab your girl and go home before I drag you there myself,” I said. He nodded and I ruffled his hair. “Tomorrow’s a new day. It’ll get better. Just try for me, TJ.”

“I will, Jensen. Promise.”

_____

A/N: Read the Adoption Day timestamp here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen x daughter!reader #rpf #au #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #reader insert #fanfiction #jensen x

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jason-pipers · 3 years

Text

the jason/piper breakup and jason’s subsequent death

it is a long and angry post so you have been warned

I’m really sick of seeing Jason Grace/Piper McLean slander in their own tag, and I’m really, really sick of seeing people justify their breakup/his death as good writing.

As I’ve been studying literature and text for the past four years at Uni- I can say with absolute confidence that The Burning Maze utilizing Jason and Piper was horrible. Like a bag of shit mixed together then smeared on paper and published kind of horrible. Actually, you don’t even really need a degree to be able to point out the very basic absurdity of them appearing in TBM. So even though I have a paper due on a completely unrelated topic and a lot of homework, I naturally decided this was a much better thing to write about:

Maybe in another world, Rick’s ghostwriters will be better at writing his books. The reason why the Jason/Piper breakup was extremely confusing and done very poorly in the sense of their character arcs was that there was no buildup to the breakup. In fact, I think these two got together off-screen and broke up off-screen. Yet, I’m sure Riordan sat at his desk thinking “now why don’t people just like Jason and Piper?? I give them so much!” Actually, you gave them nothing. It’s also considerably easy to disguise their breakup as logical when it isn’t. Now, people will argue that the basic foundation of the relationship was poorly made because of Hera’s meddling and that’s why they broke up. This is a lazy way to think about it because it’s obvious you don’t care about the characters so you should just say that and go. Hera’s meddling (putting false memories of Jason in Piper’s head and wiping Jason’s brain) really only gave Piper a vague notion of Jason (based on real attributes the Mist pulls) and also gave PERCY and Jason multiple relationships after the switcheroo. But Piper actually meets Jason and then has a subsequent breakdown that maybe he’s not her boyfriend. However, once she gets to know the real Jason (very accurate to the one she knew in her memories because Aphrodite said she could sense real possibilities hinting at their romance), she is still developing romantic feelings for him. It’s implied that the reason why Piper is falling so fast is because the memories she has of Jason are based on the real Jason. It’s easy to establish that Piper has real romantic feelings for Jason, not the made up Jason because the majority of TLH is them getting to know each other. If she felt like there was some confusion on her part about developing feelings for him because of Hera switching Percy and Jason- why did it not come up EVER? The months where Jason and Piper started dating. How about that long ass quest on the Argo? It could have been a valid plot line but it never came up. If it had come up near the end of the series or maybe even if it was a small subplot in the series, it would make the breakup logical, at least narratively. But no, we end Blood of Olympus with Jason and Piper coming full circle with the moment in the stars. Flash forward three years later to TBM where everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about Piper and Jason are thrown into the trash. They’re broken up due to the false memories and overall I guess it’s implied Piper doesn’t have feelings for him anymore or something? Or the trauma of being in something like that prophecy was a lot for her to handle and she needed some time to figure things out? Yeah of course! Just like when she will go through another trauma (Jason dying for her) and start dating someone new right after. This would be so much easier to read and digest if these things are shown- in their own series and maybe not as a side thing to Apollo’s series. Reading it in TOA was completely out of left field. I know SO MANY PEOPLE were like that makes so much sense! Good for you Piper! But I was like girl, who are you? I feel like I have not spent any time with you and none of what you’re saying is connecting to anything you were like before. Which leads me to believe people just did not like Piper in HOO but just say that and go. HOO Piper is not TBM/TOA Piper. RR doesn’t know how to characterize his own goddamn characters. Furthermore, everything in canon up until TBM implies and directly states that Jason and Piper are endgame. It’s not to say they didn’t have problems that were resolved or that the way they got together was conventional. There was not even a smidge bit of reluctance to admit they were canon endgame- I think RR even had Cupid involved. There was no prediction or even hint of what would happen in TBM in HOO, which is a very big narrative problem. Jason, always isolated by loved ones and quite frankly always shouldering way more than a human can handle dies exactly the way he suffers. There is no growth or even a small lovely moment where we can see Jason.

This brings me to the most unnecessary death I’ve ever read in my life. I know RR’s ego hurt from the complaints about Jason/Piper/Frank/Hazel/Leo (basically a non-Percabeth character) being underdeveloped. I know his ego was fucked when he “killed” Leo but didn’t really kill Leo so everyone was like what the fuck. I know he wanted to prove he is a good writer but like any other bad writer, he decided to jump the shark. And I know he wanted Jason and Piper to be more likable but the fandom really wanted a Leo-esque character. The breakup really happened because he wanted to demonstrate to critics that he could live with couples not being endgame and knew Jasiper was relatively unpopular compared to Percabeth/Caleo/etc. He wasn’t thinking in terms of ‘does this fit what I’ve created’ but in terms of ‘people might be like oh shit this is violent and they’re finally gone!’. I don’t know what idiotic thought process made him reach the point of killing one of them but he obviously got there. See, there is no difference between Jason or Piper dying in TBM. It could’ve easily been Piper who was impaled by Caligula and reminded Apollo “what it’s like to be human”. They were made *that* insignificant in TBM. Pretty much fucking interchangeable. IN DEATH. It also could’ve been anybody else in the world. It could’ve been that cheerleader from The Battle of the Labyrinth. It could’ve been Piper’s dad. It could have been Sally Jackson. Not a single part of Jason’s death was really related to Jason or his growth. Jason was the main/lead from HOO and if he was destined to die (which he wasn’t because RR doesn’t think anything through anymore), he should have died in his own series. That would make his sacrifice more compelling and important, but dying in TOA is just a big fuck you to his character. I think the only equivalent I can think of is if HOO had solely been Jason’s series but RR pulled up Percy to simply kill him and then just kept writing. What the fuck does TOA have anything to do with Jason or Piper? Or even Leo? I usually love when characters make cameo appearances to remind us of the past we loved them in. Kind of like when Lynda Carter appeared as Asteria in WW1984. Conversely, involving them in the plot and then using them as a plot device for the main character- AKA USING YOUR MAIN CHARACTER AS A PLOT DEVICE FOR ANOTHER MAIN CHARACTER IN A SEPARATE SERIES- is not only dumb but it truly makes everything else you’ve written for the first main character devoid of any real significance. Jason was never a fully fleshed-out character, the way he deserved to be written, because RR couldn’t world build as well as he thought and that ‘every single character gets a POV’ didn’t do the legendary thing he thought it did. However, anything that mattered about Jason was pretty much killed in TBM because he was easily killed by a villain that was not even remotely interested in Jason or aware of his existence. What does FUCK does Caligula mean to Jason? Nothing. Did the final battle create a full circle for Jason other than the line “remember?” which is not really related to his amnesia- no. His character arc was about an identity crisis- being pushed and pulled in two directions. Jason barely means anything to Apollo so RR using Jason as a convenient kill to send home a message is also shitty for Apollo. Lead hero characters can die- they sometimes just have to. Marissa Cooper’s death in the OC narratively makes sense due to the nature of the character being a damsel in distress from the very beginning- a foil to her counterpart, Ryan Atwood. But in this case, RR knew he had to shock people to keep getting $$$. I never got the impression RR cared about Jason or Piper, especially since he was incredibly disrespectful and lazy when writing about Piper. (For that- I can link really detailed posts explaining his racism). The truth is Riordan cannot live without putting his characters in relationships- Frazel, Caleo, Tyson/Ella (?), Hedge/Mellie- but he wanted to prove that he could which is why Jasiper broke up.

Piper’s girlfriend in TON- I didn’t read TON for the reasons above and I don’t think I’ll ever read a Riordan book again: I did find out that Piper gets a GF in TON which at first I thought was incredibly neat but then later became angry when I learned it was only months after Jason’s death? I have always wanted Piper to explore her sexuality but RR has this case of never giving important things the development it deserves. He’s incredibly messy and inconsistent when he creates lgbtqia+ characters, usually only including them so he can get credit for including them. He’s never actually explored Piper’s sexuality fully in the series, but he threw her in yet another relationship we didn’t get to read about right after she was almost beaten to death and then witnessed the murder of her ex-boyfriend. If you think that is representation, please rethink that. We don’t get to hear her talk about anything at all, except maybe mentioning the girl’s name. A subtle hint. Just representation is not good representation and it is right that we demand better representation. Don’t settle for less. For fuck’s sake, Riverdale is only really good at queerbaiting but they get so much praise. (Do they? At this point I can’t tell). If we wanted to explore Piper’s sexuality, it could have been done while she was with Jason or even broken up with him in her own series- why didn’t RR explore the nature of being lgbtqia+ in an Indigenous family? He had the chance to demonstrate an awareness of intersectionality through Piper but he fucked up. He had so much to write about. So, people who are yelling happily about that Piper appearance in TON-???

This was long and frustrating to write. But I had feelings.

#jason grace #Piper McLean #percy jackson #pjo #jasiper #jasper #jiper #toa #trials of apollo #Heroes of Olympus

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incarnateirony · 3 years

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So here we are, The Great Supernatural Rewatch, 01.01 Pilot. If unfamiliar with this rewatch, please check my Objectives and Bracketing post [x], and then my Methodology Notes [x]; Also, reminder that I’m not the only person doing this, though each in their own ways. My Objectives and Methodology are my own.

I’m trying to get a little ahead of the official Jan 3 start date, since I know I will... inevitably fall behind, and this episode was ripe for the initial pick-through for the inevitability of a thousand call backs.

That said, with level 1. SYNCHRONIC: As it reads, unto itself, as best divorced from future knowledge of the story, it’s difficult to do much actual “meta” as much as review and commentary since literally it’s all character and story introductions. There’s some to be had, but beyond things like lighting, the Level 1 viewing tier is not going to lend towards much beyond basic archetypes, and a lot of mythology breakdown. This post will be heaving Level 2 weighted as a result. Most tier-1 posting is going to be an early build of key words, phrases and signs to assemble throughout the season watching (and tap back on later for tier 2 by tagging.)

Also a few unannounced side projects; I’m about to start a “Combat Counter” and “Marksmanship Counter”, to see how Sam and Dean handle both in physical battles/scraps over time compared to each other, and who has the better overall aim in the long term.

Some things saved in this post will seem random and arbitrary, but are potential flags I intend to keep, mostly for later level 2, DIACHRONIC study.

Now to get to the meat:

STUDY: REWATCH/REVIEW STAGE

Allow me to lead with: this episode even unto itself is a fine spectacle of just how much the genre shifted over time. I am a huge fan of David Nutter’s directing; many would know him from, say, Game of Thrones. He didn’t stay long--just Pilot and Wendigo--before moving on. But some of his touches stayed with the show for a few years. The entire ambiance is a giant testiment to survival-horror, a grimness to it, even if the CW itself could never truly capitalize on it. The mood and ambiance was successfully played on. The entire episode is rife with cloudy lighting beaming between bars and through windows, bold silhouette shots, and more that gives an air of mystery even after some characters are established. Dynamic shots are plenty.

Your early reading here isn’t going to tell you much you don’t already know, but is for filing, review, and even reminder/refresher purposes. As the season unfolds, there’s going to be more to interconnect, obviously. If you would like to read more observations on actual parallels, scroll to the DIACHRONIC STUDY header. If I’ve taken a screenshot, even in Synchronic, it’s because it’s a flag I do expect to come back up in diachronic study later and need to catalogue for future parallels and address.

So, imagining it’s 2005, we’re watching Supernatural for the first time. We’re in a very different world, Both in the show, and in the real world. A standard, haunting discord rattles the minds of the audience as a tree moves like a hand towards the window of a suburban home.

We see a classic, nuclear family in this standard home, saying their charming goodnights to an infant. But within moments, we’re told in every classic way that everything is wrong. The infant’s mobile turns on its own accord; the clock stops.

It’s 8:12pm when the world goes haywire. The decorative moon in the room flickers, growing dim. The mother wakes to the sound of a distressed infant on the baby monitor. She rises from bed in her gown.

This is a point I’m left to negotiate cursed knowledge: to all visual cues, the mother’s attire appears to be white. The audience perceived it as white. But we know it, and Jess’ gown later, was actually pink; the film stock failed to capture it. Both short term and much louder in the long term, these two colors can deliver two very different meanings. But for us, a viewer consuming a digital medium with no knowledge beyond what they published, I’m left to decide that the text seems to determine her in a white gown.

The wife sees a stark silhouette, asking if the child was hungry, assuming it was her husband that quieted her. She turns away, tapping on a flickering light over an old marriage portrait that one can only assume was a previous family generation. She descends the stairs.

Here she finds her husband is sleeping. Panic takes her, bringing her to the room. Quickly, chaos erupts. As does she, once seen bleeding down onto the hand of the father from above the crib. We see her, sunken eyes, already dying, screaming without a sound. Silent. Unable to make a noise.

The camera details the desperation of the father rushing his infant to his older child. “Take your brother outside as fast as you can, don’t look back. Now Dean, GO.”

I’m unclear what John thinks he’s going to achieve running back in for Mary as fire takes the home. But soon, he finds young Dean, 4, outside, holding an infant, “I've got you Sammy.” John erupts out of the house as the windows begin to blow, sweeping in to carry Dean, who carries Sam.

As the fire department arrives, the first cords of a song we would later come to recognize as Americana haunt through otherwise chilling music that climbs actively to punch out through our first cold open.

The Winchesters are our first cold open.

We find ourselves in modern day with the rick of a rock cord, and a young woman in a white nurse outfit adjusting her earings while framed by an image of John and Mary--the mother and father--in a picture frame. Though she calls for Sam, we see nothing of Dean--not even a picture. The image on the counter tells of a life Sam(my) was too young to even know, but perhaps is in his blonde-haired woman who teases him about halloween while standing in front of a mirror.

Sam is clearly in his young prime, celebrating his LSAT with a 174 score much to his chagrin with friends dressed up in all styles of wardrobe. Behind Sam a neon black cat sign may just jinx his future in warm but dull lighting; ghostly drapes hide behind Jess in a blue, sharper light.

Sam’s friends perceive he must be the Golden Boy of the family. Jess is proud of him. “What would I do without you?” “Crash and burn.”

Night onsets. Dim lighting feels dusty despite the otherwise hopeful environment. Heavy creaking, groaning, footsteps; Sam rises on instinct, spying an open door and catching haunting noises--sounds. An intruder. And one fateful fight. The choreography spares little.

In actual combat, the intruder--quickly identified as Dean--comes out on top. (Combat ticker: Sam vs Dean: Dean 1) Easy there, tiger. As Dean haunts, revealing his roguish personality quickly, he’s then gotten the better of (this is not going to be considered a combat ticker, it’s not actual combat, but aftermath).

Sam challenges why Dean broke in, but Dean knew Sam would have never picked up without him. They’re interrupted from their silhouetting by the light flicking on, and Dean further displays his roguish charm, enjoying her smurfs, not dreaming of her getting dressed; but soon, it’s down to business--Dean says it’s private family matters. Sam, a unit in the doorframe with Jess, says it can be said in front of her. Until the fateful line: “Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days.” The camera zooms on Sam’s set jaw to tell the audience how much weight is in that line as the audio itself drags a raw cord of suspense.

The dizzying stairs are a descent into a world Sam seems to have left behind, with the audience viewing from below. Quickly, we’re introduced to ideas: the Poltergeist in Amherst, the Devil’s Gate in Clifton, “always missing and always fine.” Sam’s bitterness is thick: rather than telling him not to be afraid of the dark, “dad gave me a .45″, though Dean challenges what he should have done. They soon stand in a cage of sharply lit bars, arguing if this was what their mother would have wanted--to be raised like warriors.

Dean challenges if Sam would want a normal apple pie life; Sam slaps back: not normal, safe. “And that’s why you ran away.”--But John told him to stay gone. Regardless, Dean doesn’t want to do it alone. Sam asks what he was hunting, and why Dean wasn’t there; Dean was working a voodoo thing in New Orleans.

Dean reveals Jericho, California--10 men over to years on the same 5 mile stretch of road.

The “Ran it through A Goldwave” is a funny side comment but I’m not gonna get into why beyond LOL “through a goldwave”, that’s-- whatever. But we hear, in EVP, “I can never go home.”

The average viewer, at this point, isn’t going to be deeply instructing the story parallels--and in the scheme of it, Sam’s fear of going home barely scratches the meta surface. We do know John has been missing for three weeks. And find out Sam has a Monday deadline for his entry to lawschool, “whole future on a plate.” Jess worries over disappearing with his family, reminding of the deadline, but he promises to be back in time.

A sharp cut to JERICHO, CALIFORNIA. The driver shares similar concerns to Sam, “if I miss it, dad’s gonna have my ass,” he tells his girlfriend on the phone. A woman in white appears down the road as the car clock fries at 10:17, asking to be taken home. “Take me home?” “She lives at the end of breckenridge road.” “A girl like you shouldn’t really be alone out here.” She hikes her skirt. “I’m with you. Do you think I’m pretty? Will you come home with me?” hell yeah.

They arrive at a dillapidated home. “I can never go home.” No one even lives here. He steps out, turns around, and she’s gone. An eerie handprint appears on the window.

He decides to leave, clearly feeling the offsettling vibes, but isn’t alone. She steams with animosity in the backseat.

He looks into his mirror.

And wipes out.

After a violent death, we cut back to our boys and another exposition: credit card scams (jesus, could sam have yelled it any louder?), breakfast in a gas station bag, you gotta update your casette tape collection--why? because for one, they’re casette tapes. Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica--it’s the greatest hits of mullet rock. “House rules Sammy, Driver picks the music, rider shuts his cakehole.” “Sammy is a chubby 12 year old.” “What, can’t hear you.”

ENTER, JERICHO

Internal impala shots galore will end up being a major vibe of our next few years. A spunky guitar theme plays that we will eventually come to know. Dean pulls out a cigar box full of fake badges ranging from FBI to Bureau of Tobacco from the glove box, quickly showing us how deep this path goes for them already.

The cops review the mystery: no fingerprints, spotless; we find out that the victim was dating the cop’s daughter, who was posting missing flyers downtown. The boys introduce themselves as federal agents, are challenged for being too young, and Dean sasses his way through, “that’s very kind of you.” -- while gathering basic intel, we quickly find Dean’s tongue getting ahead of him, calling their lack of ability to find a connection beyond them all being male victims, calling it crack police work. The brothers’ dual personas exit the crime scene with a cuff upside the head from Sam to Dean, a bickering match, and Dean leaving a Mulder and Scully crack on the cops.

They quickly find Amy, the girlfriend, and lie to claim that were Troy’s relatives and had heard about her, and move to a diner to talk about events.

No major unusual things to warrant events; Sam compliments her necklace. She jokes that Troy got it for her to freak out her parents for “devil stuff”, but Sam quickly educates her on the pentagram meaning the opposite, a symbol of protection.

But there are weird rumors in town--people talk. In-sync, “what do they talk about”; a local legend. She tells them of a girl murdered on centennial where anyone who picks her up disapears forever. The brothers quickly move on to a library with a clunky monitor, fully dating us; not just the lack of good cell phones and wifi, but the equipment and the appearance of the search engine alone. Right, we’re watching this in 2005.

The brothers slapfight again, but Sam shows that even away from the life he never lost his prowess. He asks, “Angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?” and searches for suicide. 1981, 24 years prior. “Our babies were gone and Constance couldn’t bear it.”

So they go to see where Constance took the swan dive.

The brothers begin to fight.

SAM Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday—

DEAN turns around.

DEAN Monday. Right. The interview.

SAM Yeah.

DEAN Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?

SAM Maybe. Why not?

DEAN Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?

SAM steps closer.

SAM No, and she's not ever going to know.

DEAN Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.

DEAN turns around and keeps walking. SAM follows.

SAM And who's that?

DEAN You're one of us.

SAM hurries to get in front of DEAN.

SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.

DEAN You have a responsibility to—

SAM To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.

DEAN grabs SAM by the collar and shoves him up against the railing of the bridge. A long pause.

DEAN Don't talk about her like that.

They’re interrupted as Constance appears, diving off the cliff, and immediately taking control of the Impala.

“Dude, who’s driving your car?” Dean holds up his keys.

They flee, over the bridge, and share another movement. One more fake card later, they find themselves in John’s room, room 10, in a motel. Sam remarks that the place is covered in Salt, and Cat’s Eye Shells. The entire room is covered in case work and lore.

I’ll break down the lore of these in a later mythos reblog, though the Asmodeus one really catches my eye for reasons outside of this episode.

Sam finds a photo-- a distinctly different family than the one on his college dresser. There, it’s John and Mary as an ideal image that framed Jessica. Here, it’s the life he walked away from. But while Dean heads out, he’s spotted by police, and their old coded dialect pops out, “Five Oh, take off.” Federal marshalls confront him: They’re looking for his partner (cue Wincest fans trying to make meta that’s about to be shot down one scene later, in the distance), fake US Marshalls, fake credit cards, is there anything about you that’s Real. My boobs.

Just putting a flag in the name Sheriff Pierce, we’ll figure out if that’s ever valid to anything later. But he tells Dean of the trouble he’s in with a room full of missing people and devil worship, for Dean to snap back he was 3 when they went missing. But they knew he had more than one partner. An older man. John’s journal is thrown out (Wincest meta dies a terrible death beyond previous scene)

Again, I’ll translate the FUTHARK in a follow up post, this is already taking a lot of time as it is.

Meanwhile, Sam is investigating the leads they and John both found. Previously spoken intents to burn her has him ask about her being buried at an old plot by Breckenridge at their old place.

SAM And why did you move?

JOSEPH I'm not gonna live in the house where my children died.

SAM stops walking. JOSEPH stops too.

SAM Mr. Welch, did you ever marry again?

JOSEPH No way. Constance, she was the love of my life. Prettiest woman I ever known.

SAM So you had a happy marriage?

JOSEPH hesitates.

Putting a flag in this for later.

But Sam decides to call the man out.

SAM A woman in white. Or sometimes weeping woman?

JOSEPH just looks.

SAM It's a ghost story. Well, it's more of a phenomenon, really.

SAM starts back toward JOSEPH.

SAM Um, they're spirits. They've been sighted for hundreds of years, dozens of places, in Hawaii, Mexico, lately in Arizona, Indiana. All these are different women.

SAM stops in front of JOSEPH.

SAM You understand. But all share the same story.

JOSEPH Boy, I don't care much for nonsense.

JOSEPH walks away. SAM follows.

SAM See, when they were alive, their husbands were unfaithful to them.

JOSEPH stops.

SAM And these women, basically suffering from temporary insanity, murdered their children.

JOSEPH turns around.

SAM Then once they realized what they had done, they took their own lives. So now their spirits are cursed, walking back roads, waterways. And if they find an unfaithful man, they kill him. And that man is never seen again.

JOSEPH You think...you think that has something to do with...Constance? You smartass!

SAM You tell me.

JOSEPH I mean, maybe...maybe I made some mistakes. But no matter what I did, Constance, she never would have killed her own children. Now, you get the hell out of here! And you don't come back!

Sam is flushed out, and makes a fake 911 call to break Dean out, pointing out that the husband had been unfaithful. More dramatic silhouette shots really capture the early spirit of the piece, with Dean using a phone booth in lieu of other options. Hell, Dean was able to find a phone booth, let that take you back. They determine that John left Jericho, and establish his ex-marine habits with the coordinates, 35-111 that Dean had lied through to the cop. But while on the phone, the woman in white appears in front of Sam on the road, non-crashing.

She controls the car again, and forces him to drive to a broken home, repeating, “I can never go home.” Sam recognizes: “You’re scared to go home.” And that’s when the creepy ghost rapey vibes start, mounting him, demanding he hold her, she’s cold. “You can’t kill me, I’m not unfaithful.” He argues. You will be. Just hold me.

As she goes to rip out his heart, she flickers with the beat of his.

Dean breaks into the scene, unloading 12 shots into the ghost with iron bullets to disrupt her manifestation, giving Sam time to sit up and say, “I’m taking you home.”, where he drives through the house. Dean helps Sam out of the car, only to be telekinetically pinned by a dresser to be disabled.

The lights flicker again. Children manifest, water runs down the stairs, looking eerily like the light could be the Winchester’s old home

Here, she falls when reunited with her children. Sam clarifies--she could never go home, she was too afraid to face her kids (while not viable for the synchronic study, for my own sanity I’m going to note this season, Home will be all but mandatory to touch back here.) Dean says Sam found her weak spot.

They drive down the road with a blown headlight, Sam using an old map and ruler to locate the coordinates. But it’s realized Sam isn’t going with Dean to blackwater ridge, colorado 600 miles away. His interview was in ten hours. Dean declares, “I’ll take you home.”

There’s banter over meeting up later, and being a good team, but Sam goes inside and calls for Jess. “You home?” He finds a plate full of cookies with a note “missed you, love you” and relaxes in bed with the distant sound of a running shower.

And of course.

And so it began.

SYNCHRONIC STUDY: IN-EPISODE PARALLELS

In a first episode, there’s only so much to address. While we may question how much the Woman in White being in White may have been intentional with Jess and Mary, who wore pink (a diachronic full text body note later), in the initial review, it’s worth mentioning for the reasons in part 1 I’ve decided to air towards white in the final text product. Resultingly, the tie between Constance->Mary->Jess seems tangible. But it isn’t really so simple.

“Home.” Home is a huge keyword.

"I can never go home." within the episode unto itself, Sam is struggling to well, get back home. And frankly, returning home is the key of it. (hears distant uppity Wincest stans) The difference here is, this isn't a direct parallel, of course, as much as a general ambient mood that will haunt is forward through the show, even if current viewers just watching episode 1 don't recognize it yet. Sam going home kills Jess, essentially; or at least witnesses her death. At the same time, Sam fears returning to the hunter life, or more doesn't think he can because John told him not to come back. But now that Jess is dead, well, Sam can never go home to the life he was building. He has no choice but TO go back to the other home--the hunter life. Even if he’s certain it’s not what Mary would have wanted for them.

DIACHRONIC STUDY: IN-SEASON PARALLELS, LOOKING FORWARD

There’s no way I’ll have them all in mind, these are just what are flagging me along the way.

1.09 Home As the “Home” rewatch is not that far away, I’m going to save this as a placeholder with general notes about “Mary apologizing to Sam,” even if frankly, she should have to Dean too. But even if, at the time, the exact details of the deal may or may not have been established or hashed out by the authors--we’re not picking at arguing if the authors intended it or not here. Here, Mary apologizes for her deal. Here, Mary apologizes--for drowning her children. For magnetizing this poltergeist to this place that she demands let her sons go, where she forces the spook to let go of Sam. She couldn’t really go home in the truest sense until that passed. (I’ll have deeper chain-link connections on this looking-forward once actually at the episode.

DIACHRONIC STUDY: IN-ERA PARALLELS, LOOKING FORWARD

They’re here, but not pinging me at 1 AM beyond vagueblogging about Lucifer showing up as Jess to haunt Sam and the inevitable time travel episodes about Mary, so placeholder for later updates.

DIACHRONIC STUDY: BEYOND-ERA PARALLELS, LOOKING FORWARD

Obviously compare to above-dropped screenshots.

11.04: Mistakes were made.

Listen, Dean’s grimace seat has been in discussion lately, don’t blame me for thinking of Joseph’s mistakes right after the season as Dean-mirror Pastor Joseph. Funny how Sam’s get shown and Dean’s don’t.

11.23/12.01: Mary’s return in the (white or pink, I’m rolling with white as-above) gown, and all extending details.

12.22: Mary's dreamspace.

12.23: Dean, Castiel's death, Sam removing Dean

15.01: Woman In White, We've got work to do

I feel like the Woman in White is the most interesting of these that hasn’t been as talked to death as, say, the 12.23 elements with the Destiel parallel. After all, the Woman in White largely focused on Sam. It was his fear of home. It was him being faithful to Jess (and being unfaithful can be more than sex, really; after all, he made a promise to come back.) But in season 15, it’s Dean that the ghost of the jilted lover approaches, shortly after Dean nearly killed Jack in his pain. Was Dean the weeping woman? Or was Castiel? Who held the animosity in the back seat?

Or is this a shared path? As Dean puts the Equalizer away under the Cigar Box, he has his own haunting issues in the mirror.

Those will be addressed more deeply when we get to that episode in like half a year. But for now, I’m just putting a pin in it. With a side scribble of “Cas got his Secrets/Mary, Sam got his serial killer and clowns and Dean got... the woman in white with Belphegor.”

15.02: Road Closed

15.03: If one insists Mary and Jess’ dress are pink, Rowena’s dress upon wedding and unbirthing to death (and queendom)

15.04: I still think about Jess (shortly before Eileen’s return.)

15.13: If one insists Mary and Jess’ dress are pink, atop the eventually-addressed meaning of lighting (death and transformation) vs the Empress symbolism (fertility, rebirth), Castiel in pink light.

15.15: If one insists Mary and Jess’ dress are pink. Amara’s trenchcoat.

15.20: Beyond the obvious quotes, and the (IMO failed) attempt at nostalgia, there’s honestly very little callback to the original episode.

That’s it on first glance, I’m sure more will rattle out as we go forward. Well, mostly. Keys to the Legacy from Mint Condition is flagging me alongside control mechanisms like Castiel losing control of his vessel. But those are thoughts to put pins in for now and develop later.

COMBAT COUNTER:

DEAN VICTORIES: 1 (sam vs Dean)

MARKSMANSHIP COUNTER:

DEAN SHOTS: 12 shots, 12 hits.

(hits for any individual will be considered accurate even if targets teleport/flicker out as long as it should have hit the body)

The mythology pasted all around John’s Room is worth a second trip, but off the top of my head I see the Bell Witch and Asmodeus from the Lesser Key of Solomon (near the motel door).

I’ll reblog later to add commentary on that.

47 notes · View notes

walkerwords · 3 years

Text

“The Savior Sessions” Part 24 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: When a disaster hits Hilltop, Michonne rides out to help, leaving Carol, Daryl, and the reader back at Alexandria to handle things. When an act of compassion leads to an accidental death, how will the people of Alexandria view their prisoner? What happens when Negan’s fate is up for debate?

Word Count: 5354

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “As The World Caves In” by Matt Maltese

Note: I think we all know were this one is going.

—————

For once, the silence of the night was comforting.

“What is this?” Negan whispered in the dark of his cell. His finger looped through the chain around your neck, feeling the shell casing you had attached to it.

You had needed him that night, slipping into his cell after everyone had gone to bed. Negan hadn’t even hesitated to pull you into his arms on his cot, wrapping his long arms around your waist and down your sides. He hadn’t waited any time to press his lips against yours as his hands explored your body that was pressed up against him.

Your hands had moved on their own accord, pulling him towards you to fill that need that was almost an addiction. Now, as you lay beneath the blanket with the cool night air filtering through the small window, Negan looked down at you with love in his eyes.

Your hand found his and played with the makeshift pendant as well. “Daryl found it,” you whispered back. “It’s one of mine from the war,” you explained.

“Where did he find it?” Negan asked, furrowing his brow as his fingers caressed the brass beveling.

“The Sanctuary,” you said, letting your eyes close as his hand moved from your necklace to your neck. “I guess I made my mark there more than I thought.”

“You definitely made an impression,” Negan said as he leaned down and pressed his lips against your pulse point, letting his teeth graze against the sensitive skin of your neck, but you had caught a double-meaning in his words.

“What do you mean?” you asked, pushing him back.

“What?” Negan asked, looking at you with heavy eyes.

“Why did you say that like you knew me before all of...this?” you asked. “Did I miss our introduction or something?” Negan was silent for a moment before he nodded.

“I... I knew who you were the whole time my people were fighting yours,” he admitted. “I noticed you that first night in the clearin’. You were so...resilient even though you were out of it for most of it. I could tell by the way you responded to everything that you weren’t someone to fuck with. Then, I began to notice you later when I would visit Alexandria and then Jadis mentioned something.”

“Jadis?” you asked, confused.

“She knew you, right?”

“Briefly,” you said. You had been with Rick when the group had met the eccentric and odd woman. You didn’t think you had left that much of an impression on her. “I didn’t know her that well.”

“Well, she knew you,” Negan confirmed. “When she grabbed me after Rick tried to take me out, she told me that you were going to be the one to kill me if she didn’t do it. Not Rick, you.”

“I don’t understand,” you said.

“Jadis saw something in you, I guess,” he said, his hand reaching down to rub at your hip.

“She saw a killer.”

“I don’t know, but it didn’t matter because I had already had you in my sights. When you first came to see me in this cell, I pretended like I didn’t know who you were, but the truth is, I’ve always known.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Call me old fashioned, but I wanted to get to know you the regular way. You seemed to want to talk to me like I was just another man and not the killer you met all those years ago,” he said. “I didn’t want you to think I was judging you for what you had done in the past.”

“You wanted to know me and not the sniper,” you realized.

“Is that so terrible?” he asked. Looking up at him, you began to think about everything that had happened since you had begun to speak to him. Even further back, you looked at the war and how he had been before his time spent in isolation. There was a part of you that didn’t understand what it all meant, but there was a small bit that did. Perhaps he didn’t change that much, but instead, the man who lay in bed with you had always been there underneath the mask he wore.

It only took someone to love him to peel that layer away.

“No,” you answered, “it’s not terrible at all.” Negan gave you a soft smile and then you were pulling him down to you, kissing him firmly as he maneuvered himself to wrap your leg around his waist and together you fell into pure bliss.

------

It was early the next day when you ran into Michonne who was saddling up with Judith at her side.

“What’s this?” you asked, reaching down to rest your hands on Judith’s shoulder. The young girl looked up at you with a toothy grin that you returned.

“A tree went down in Hilltop,” Michonne explained. “Ezekiel called me this morning. The wall is down and Walkers are moving in fast.”

“Is anyone hurt?” you asked, your concern growing.

“A few, but nothing too major,” Michonne said. “The biggest problem is that Alpha’s herd is attacking now that they’re vulnerable and they need help. I’m taking some fighters with me to help, Judith too.”

“What do you need me to do?” you asked.

“Keep an eye on things here,” said Michonne. “Alpha’s Walkers are still showing up and tensions are very heavy right now with Lydia. I’m worried something may happen if people don’t keep calm.”

“I got it, don’t worry,” you said. Michonne then reached out and grabbed your shoulder.

“I know you do,” she said. “I hope you know that I will always trust your judgment, no matter what.” You paused at that and realized that you had actually needed to hear it. Especially from Michonne.

“Thanks, Michonne,” you said. “Tell Enid and the others I said hello, okay?”

“I will,” Michonne said and then you kneeled down to see Judith.

“Take care of your mom, okay? Don’t let her work herself too hard, okay little miss?” Judith smiled at you and offered you her pinky. You hooked it with your own and then pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her tight.

“I’ll take care of her if you take care of him,” Judith whispered in your ear. You pulled back and gave her a wink. She took that as a yes and then you lifted her up into the makeshift carriage.

“I told Daryl that we’ll be available through the radio at Barrington,” Michonne said.

“I’ll keep an ear out,” you promised and then you waved as Michonne led the caravan out, heading off to help your friends in need.

With a sigh, you went in search of Daryl who you knew was either sulking in his room or playing with Dog. Spotting RJ running after the canine, you jogged over to join in on the fun and hopefully get some relief from all the thoughts in your head.

————

Lydia was alone when Negan found her.

On laundry duty for the day, he slipped through the many clotheslines and discovered the teenager who was digging in the dirt. “Hey, you,” he said, smiling down at her.

Lydia looked up at him with a small smile of her own, one that was always either reserved for him, you, or Daryl. “Hi,” she said.

“Why are you hiding out here?” Negan asked, sitting into his hip.

“Who says I’m hiding?” she challenged.

“Me,” he said, kneeling down to her. “What’s going on?”

“Gage and his friends are still being…”

“Assholes?” Negan offered and she nodded. “Shit, kiddo, you can’t let them get to you.”

“Easier said than done,” Lydia said with a sigh.

“You need to tell (Y/N), they’ll shut that down,” he said, but Lydia was shaking her head. “This whole not wanting to cause trouble shit gotta stop, Lydia. (Y/N) doesn’t like disorder and they sure as shit don’t like it when someone they care about is being treated like this.”

“I don’t want to start anything,” she said.

“It’s already started. It started the day these people met the skins,” Negan said and then took a pause before continuing. “You might not know this, but there are plenty of people around here that have been on the ‘wrong side’,” he explained.

“Like who?”

“Well, for one, me, as you well know,” he said. “Then there was Tara, the woman who used to run Hilltop. She wasn’t always on the winning side and yet these people loved her so much. Then there are people like Laura who once worked for me or even Gabriel who I believe turned on Alexandria for a short bit before joining in on the campfire sing-a-long.” Lydia looked at him in confusion at that last one. “Point is, kid, is that these people are some of the most frustratingly forgiving fuckers I have ever met.”

“They haven’t forgiven you,” Lydia said.

“Well, I’m special,” he said with a wink that caused Lydia to laugh. “Seriously, though, you should tell them.”

“Tell ‘em what?” Daryl’s voice came from behind Negan. You were just behind him, trying to keep up. Once Daryl saw Negan approaching Lydia, there wasn’t much you could do to stop him.

“Daryl,” you warned, trying to get in between him and Negan.

“Lydia’s let’s go,” Daryl snapped and Negan sighed, knowing where this was going.

“I’m good,” Lydia argued.

“Now,” Daryl snapped and with a sigh, she got to her feet and stormed away. You tried to stop her with a hand on her arm, but she shrugged you off. You then glared at Daryl who didn’t back down from you.

“She is just trying to fit it,” Negan interjected and you began shaking your head behind Daryl’s back that clearly said don’t antagonize him.

“Well, she ain’t gonna do that if she hangs out with you, is she?” Daryl said.

“Daryl, stop it,” you said, pushing him back.

“Nah, (Y/N),” he said. “I don’t care what’s goin’ on here,” he said gesturing between the two of you, “but I don’t need people associatin’ her with him.”

“That’s not up to you,” you said sternly, keeping yourself between Negan and Daryl. “Lydia lives with me, she’s bonded with Negan. Whether you like it or not, that interaction is gonna happen.” Daryl went to say something else before he huffed and walked away, not giving Negan a second glance.

“(Y/N)…” Negan began.

“Don’t,” you said, keeping your back to him.

“Daryl is too important to you. Don’t piss him off,” Negan said. You finally turned to face him and crossed your arms.

“Daryl and I have been at worse crossroads. Besides, he’s more pissed at Carol right now than you or me. I’ll talk to him,” you promised.

“Just…” Negan trailed off, reaching for you and you let him take your face in his hands. “Don’t push him away. There’s too much history.”

“I won’t,” you promised and he nodded before kissing you quickly. You ran your hand through his hair before following after Daryl and Lydia, eager to diffuse the tension. “Daryl, listen to me,” you said as you caught up to them. Lydia was fuming at him.

“We were just talking,” Lydia was saying as she stalked away from him.

“He ain't your friend,” Daryl argued.

“He gets me, okay? Besides they’re always together!” Lydia said gesturing to you. You went to argue, but couldn’t find the words.

“Just stay away from him, alright?” Daryl said. When Lydia went to retort, she froze looking over both of your shoulders. “What?” he asked and then turned just as you did.

Rage immediately entered your chest. Painted on the door of Michonne’s house were the words, “Silence the Whisperers”. You had no doubt that a similar message would be waiting for you at home as well.

----------

Lydia wasn’t speaking to you or Daryl as the day wore on.

You kept an eye on her wherever she was, as did Laura and Gabriel when they had her in their sights. You were trying to give the girl space, but you were at a crossroads with her just as you were with Daryl. There was too much tension across the communities. You hadn’t heard from Oceanside in a while, but Hilltop was in trouble. Michonne knew how to handle it, but you had that itch to ride out as well.

However, you knew that leaving now would only give Lydia’s bullies an opportunity to gang up on her further. This was starting to feel as if you were back in the early days of Alexandria when nobody trusted anyone. It was as if you were walking on eggshells, just waiting for the cracks to come.

It was nighttime by the time you dragged yourself home. You had been trying to help Siddiq with Coco while Rosita slept. Dante took over the infirmary for the night so the new father had some time off and you were more than willing to help out with the little one. Besides, it did keep your mind busy.

Walking into your house, you pulled your sword off your hip. “Lydia?” you called, running a hand through your hair. When there was no answer, you paused in the living room. “Lydia!” you called again, but your house remained silent. “Shit,” you swore.

Grabbing your gear, you headed back out into the night, in search of the teen. Nobody was out at this time of night, everyone preferring to stay in the warmth of their homes. Jogging towards Michonne’s house where you knew Daryl was living, the entire building was silent. That is, except for Carol who sat on the stoop, staring into the night.

For the first time in a long time, you couldn’t get a read on the woman. You had been with her since the beginning, watching as she grew from fragile and timid to brave and daunting. Carol was everything that you had wanted to be, especially since she still held onto that caring nature that had made you love her immediately.

However, now you were seeing the other side of Carol that was never all that comforting. When she needed it, the lone wolf side of her came out and it always started with simmering anger. You couldn’t imagine what she was feeling after what Alpha had done to her child, but there was a predatory look in the woman’s eyes that sent chills down your spine. You began to wonder if Alpha had seen it yet and if she had, was she scared?

Carol didn’t even seem to notice you as you passed her and headed towards the cell. However, that door was open as well. Negan must have been just finishing up his work for the day, you figured. You didn’t know what time it was, but all this silence was making you worried.

Just as you were about to head down another street, you noticed Daryl coming out of the house, a frown on his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he noticed your stressed expression.

“Is she with you?” you asked as he approached.

“Hmm?”

“Lydia? She wasn’t at home, is she with you?”

“I thought she was with you,” he said with narrowed eyes. You were about to speak when a shout of alarm caught your attention. You and Daryl looked at each other before you took off in the direction of the commotion.

Shouts of pain and the sound of crying came from the laundry area. When you arrived, you were struck by what you saw. Lydia was on the ground and her arms and legs were wrapped around Negan who kneeled over her protectively.

“Negan killed her!” a voice rang out and you turned to where everyone was looking and that's when you saw the body. A woman, someone you recognized as one of Ozzy’s people. She was a part of the highwaymen and now her blood was staining the ground.

“What happened?” you whispered as you faced Negan, but he wasn’t moving from Lydia’s side as his eyes bore into yours.

“He didn’t do anything! No, it wasn't... He didn't do anything!” Lydia cried from the ground, choking on her sobs.

“Get him out of here!” Daryl yelled and when you tried to stop him, he pushed you back, grabbing you by your arm. “I’m trying to diffuse the tension.” Guards rushed at Negan to pull him off of Lydia, but she was resisting, clinging to Negan’s boots.

Eventually, Negan managed to untangle her from his legs and walked willingly from the scene. You were frozen as Daryl took Negan’s spot, trying to soothe her. “He didn’t do anything,” she cried.

“I know, I know,” Daryl whispered to her as he stroked her hair. Lydia’s eyes found yours and you wanted to go to her, but there were too many thoughts going on your head. For months you had been saying that you would choose others over Negan, but now? Now you weren’t sure what the hell you were going to do. “(Y/N),” Daryl said, getting your attention, “get her to Siddiq.”

Nodding, you knelt down and helped Lydia to her feet. She leaned heavily on you as you began to take her towards the infirmary. Behind you, you could hear Daryl’s deep voice barking out orders for the others to disperse, and then you watched as Gabriel began walking towards the meeting hall. It was time for the council to convene.

-------

“Hold that right there,” Siddiq said as he pressed a towel to Lydia’s face. “Easy, now,” he soothed.

You stood next to her, waiting for Daryl to arrive. Lydia looked so small as she curled in on herself on the exam table. With her hair stuck to her neck with sweat and dirt brushed on her clothes, she looked as she did when you had first met her. That image of a frightened girl was burned in your mind as Michonne leveled her sword at her head. Now, that look on Lydia’s face had returned.

“Are you okay?” Siddiq asked you as he wrung out another towel. You nodded, not trusting your voice right now. Feeling a tear roll down your cheek, you flicked it away before Lydia could notice. The last thing she needed was you breaking down as well.

Siddiq went to say something else when Daryl entered the room, his eyes finding Lydia immediately.

“Hey,” he said softly, nodding to Siddiq who left the three of you alone. You and Daryl took a spot on either side of the teen, trying to get her to look at either of you. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” Daryl tried, but she was still quiet. “Lydia?”

“He was so sweaty,” Lydia whispered. “Never liked deodorant. Said it... it made his armpits itchy. So, I got used to it. Sometimes he smelled like garlic and onions.” Daryl looked at you in concern, but you just lightly shrugged. “I miss him,” she finished.

“Who?” you asked.

“My dad,” Lydia said as her voice cracked. “My dad would have protected me.” Your heart felt heavy at that statement and you couldn’t handle seeing her in pain.

“Tell me what happened,” Daryl said. Lydia finally looked up at him and with steel resolve, told the truth.

“Negan saved my life. I would be dead without him,” she said and then reached out and grabbed your hand, her grip like a vice. Lydia looked at you with tears rimming her eyes. “I’m sorry I went out without telling you,” she said, but you were already shaking your head.

“It’s not your fault, Lydia,” you told her, and then she was leaning into your arms, reaching for Daryl as she did so. You and Daryl held onto her as you both tried to wrap your head around what the hell you were going to do.

-----

“Yer stayin’ outside,” Daryl said as you began walking towards the cell.

“Daryl, come on,” you said in a hastened whisper, but he wasn’t up for negotiating. He stopped just before the cell and raised a finger to you.

“Outside,” he whispered so the current inmate couldn’t hear him. “Ya can listen all ya want, but I gotta hear his side without you there. Alright?” You knew he was right.

“Fine,” you responded and then Daryl was jogging down the steps and into the jail. You sat just outside, close enough to hear both of them. You were just hoping that Daryl was going to be able to keep his head.

“How’s the kid?” Negan asked as Daryl approached the bars.

“She’s banged up, but she’s gonna be alright. You know, the people out there are talkin' about puttin' you down, sayin' Rick ain't around to save you no more, maybe they should have done it a long time ago,” Daryl said and you had to fight to stay in your spot.

“If you came here looking for a confession... just keep walking,” Negan said and you could hear him sit up on the cot as the springs groaned. “It was an accident. And for the record, screw her. She was a goddamn asshole beating on a kid. World's better off. But you already know that, don't you?” he said and then sighed.

“You came down here to look me in the eye because you don't know what to do with me,” Negan continued. “Shit, all that time you spent fantasizing about my death, all that time you actually tried to kill me, and now look at you. You're not so sure.”

“Shut up,” you whispered under your breath. Antagonizing Daryl right now was not a smart play. Daryl, however, wasn’t in the mood to be screwed with.

“You listen to me real close. You and I ain't never been in a room before, not toe to toe. And there ain't nobody to save you right now,” Daryl threatened and Negan was silent for a moment before answering.

“Isn’t there?” Negan challenged. “Because from where I’m standing, Daryl. I don’t think your bestie would be too happy if I got the noose.”

“Don’t,” Daryl said.

“Don’t what? Tell the truth? Cause if I’m being damn honest and we both sure as shit know that I always am, (Y/N) seems to be the only thing keeping you from usin’ that fancy bow of yours on me. Isn’t that right?”

“I ain’t here to talk about them,” Daryl said.

“Good cause they got nothin’ to do with what happened tonight,” Negan said. “Hell, the only person that mattered was that scared girl.”

“Why help her? Why help Lydia? You ain’t no hero.”

"No, I'm not. I'm a sucker. See, I started believing in your way of life, your moral code. Hell, you even gave me a little taste of freedom, just so you could yank it away when I actually did the right thing. You gotta admit, that is pretty messed up. And we both know I appreciate some messed-up shit. So, now it’s up to you, what are you gonna do about it, Daryl?”

“You’re gonna get a chance to tell your side,” Daryl said as he walked from the room.

“Who’s the sucker now,” Negan said as he lay back down on the cot. Daryl locked up behind him and then he was pulling you up by your arm and dragging you away from the cell.

“Daryl,” you said, pulling away from him. He didn’t stop until he was far enough away from the cell.

“What’s his angle?” Daryl asked.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you asked, your brows raised. “He saves a goddamn kid and you think there’s an angle?”

“With him, there always is,” Daryl argued.

“Maybe with the old Negan, but what does he have to gain by doing it now?”

“You!” Daryl shot back.

“I’m already his, he has nothing to prove to me! Why don’t you get that?”

“I’m trying!” Daryl shouted back. You stopped and looked at him, really looked, and what you saw made you take a step back.

“You were never okay with any of this,” you realized. “All that bullshit in the barn was just that.”

“I just need time,” Daryl said. “You can’t expect me to be all goddamn accepting of you and him.”

“I never asked you to be accepting! As you said then, I’m a grown-ass adult, I don’t need my family’s permission. You told me to not keep any more fucking secrets from you and I haven’t. What else do you want me to do?” you were fuming as you yelled at him. Daryl just shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t know.” Scoffing, you turned to head towards the meeting hall.

“Well, let me know when you figure it out.”

-------

Nobody told you to leave as you sat in on the council meeting.

Regardless of your relationship with Negan, with Michonne away, you were now in charge of security and this did concern you. Gabriel was talking with Gage and Alfred as you leaned against the wall by the fire, trying to get a read on them.

“Lydia lured you there?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah,” Gage said, nodding his head vigorously. “You saw what she did with the squirrel. She's psycho.” Confused, you glanced at Aaron who leaned back to whisper to you.

“Lydia brought a squirrel to lunch and ate it raw next to them,” Aaron whispered to you and you sighed deeply.

“Of course she did,” you swore, returning to your position.

“And Negan was with her,” Alfred added quickly. The problem was, you didn’t know if that part was a lie. You had no idea where Negan was before you found him protecting Lydia.

“If you thought Lydia was crazy, why'd you agree to meet her back there in the dark?” Gabriel inquired. Alfred stuttered, but Gage was ready with an answer. As always.

“Hey, we're the ones who were attacked here!” Gage shouted.

“But she's the one laying in the infirmary,”

“And our friend is in a grave.” You had heard enough and it seemed that Gabriel had as well. He dismissed them with a wave of his hand and they left quickly. As Gage left, he locked eyes with you and you stared him down. He practically sprinted after Alfred at your look.

Once it was just the leaders again, Aaron began. “I get why people might think Negan's been redeemed. I've... I've wondered it myself,” he said. “He saved my life when I was blinded. Whether that was for personal gain or not, he still did it.” Aaron then looked at you before continuing. “I’ve also seen... and heard things that have led me to believe he actually feels remorse for what he’s done.”

“We’re not here to look at his moral compass, Aaron,” Gabriel reminded him.

“Maybe we need to,” he argued. “However, with everything that he’s done, maybe something is broken in him.” You slumped into a seat across from the main table, rubbing at your temples.

“Yes, but killing him now over this undermines the civilization that we have built,” Siddiq added.

“This civilization was formed on blood, Siddiq,” Laura reminded him.

“That doesn’t mean it has to stay that way,” the doctor countered. “I know how we all feel about him and I do mean all of us,” Siddiq said, looking at you, “but that doesn’t mean we become executioners.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you added and Aaron knew you were talking about Gregory.

“That was different,” Gabriel said, knowing where your head was at as well.

“Not really,” you said.

“Look, the council wasn't made for this, deciding on a man's life in the dead of night because people are carrying pitchforks and torches,” Gabriel said, rubbing at his brow.

Suddenly, Daryl came into the room. He glanced at you quickly before turning his attention on the council.

"If you can't make a decision, the people out there are gonna make one for you,” he said and everyone knew he was right.

“What'd Michonne say?” Gabriel asked.

“She wants me to be her vote. Lydia said Negan saved her, so he saved her. I'm a ‘no’,” Daryl said and you weren’t even surprised that she relegated her vote to Daryl. You weren’t getting a vote this time when it came to Negan’s fate.

“So we're tied,” Aaron said. “Gabriel, where do you stand?”

Everyone looked to the Father who just stood from his seat. “I'm gonna take the night to clear my head and consider my vote,” Gabriel said, grabbing his hat. “I suggest you all do the same.”

As you got up to leave, Daryl got in your path.

“Move,” you said, not wanting to do this right now.

“I’m sorry,” he said, making you pause. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” you agreed. “I am not going to apologize for loving him, Daryl.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I guess I hadn’t realized you were actually that serious about him.”

“I am,” you said, crossing your arms, “and I don’t have to justify my feelings to you or anyone.” Daryl nodded, dropping his head. You weren’t in the mood to play best friend right now. He didn’t need to be comforted after he had yelled at you in the street.

“Are we gonna be okay?” he asked, looking up at you through his hair.

“I’ll get over it,” you said.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said.

“I know,” you said and then changed the subject. “What did Michonne actually say?” Daryl sighed as he leaned against the main table.

“She thinks that Alpha won’t attack if we have Lydia with us,” he said. “She wants us to make sure that Lydia stays.”

“Great, more pressure to put on her,” you said.

“I don’t think that’s what Michonne meant,” Daryl said.

“Doesn’t matter. She’s been through enough already. We can’t put that on her now. Especially not after tonight.”

“I know,” he said. You were quiet for a moment before nodding and turning to leave. “(Y/N),” he said, stopping you, “you can’t go and see him.”

“Daryl...”

“This isn’t about what I think about him. When Gabe talks to him, he can’t have your opinions goin’ on inside his head. Just... just give ‘em the night.” You paused in the doorway and then turned back.

“Fine, but I’m not going far.”

-------

You had ended up sleeping at the Grimes house with Lydia by your side. She didn’t want to be too far from you or Daryl and so a compromise was made.

Waking up in the morning, the sun was streaming in through the windows of the house, illuminating the sleeping teen on the couch next to you. You hadn’t slept that well, worried about what Gabriel was going to decide.

While he and Negan had formed some sort of bond, Gabriel was always thinking about the bigger picture. You were only hoping that he was including Negan in all of that.

Just as you were about to wake Lydia, a loud banging echoed throughout the house. Lydia was startled awake as Daryl came walking into the room half-asleep.

Getting up, you joined him at the front door. “What?” Daryl growled as he pulled open the door to see a very distraught Gabriel.

“He’s gone,” Gabriel said trying to catch his breath. Gabriel then spotted you behind Daryl and he just shook his head. “Negan’s gone.”

“(Y/N),” Daryl said, looking back at you, but his words weren’t resonating. Nothing was. “(Y/N)!” Finally looking at him, you just began shaking your head.

“No,” you gasped. “He’s not, he wouldn’t...”

“The keys were stolen,” Gabriel said. “Someone let him out and based on the look on your face, it wasn’t you.”

“Of course it wasn’t,” Daryl said as he moved forward to grab you by the shoulders. “Look at me,” he said.

“I... I can’t,” you said and then he was pulling you into his arms, trying to keep you on your feet. “Not again.”

#The walking dead #twd imagines #negan imagines #the savior sessions #walkerwords #negan x reader #negan x you #negan x gn reader #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #negan #daryl dixon

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 3 years

Text

hello hello hello! and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural.

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12. I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round. HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance, and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad). Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation. **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?) We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily]

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY

How do you know all that?

DEAN

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY

John Winchester.

DEAN

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME. Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”). The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas. I HATE it here in super hell. Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt. This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines). We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand. That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment? In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment. This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John. That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean. Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument. That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN. We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried. The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone. The part that helped Amara. The part that loves Cas. And that’s why Amara brought her back.

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth -

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean.

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok? Ok. You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people. Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks.

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY

And you took it?

GREGORY

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that. Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing. You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.

#spn #spn meta #spn analysis #spn recaps #season 12x01 #season 12 #supernatural #destiel #dean cas #spn fandom #toni bevell #sorry this is long af #but not really sorry bc its mainly due to the additional pics of Toni bevell #and you need her in your life #myspnmeta

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shimmershae · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol. You’re welcome.

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel. I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay. Here we go.

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie. She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her. She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season. That said? Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes. I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story? These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard. Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela? Hmm?

Oh goodie. They’re opening at Meridian. Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later? Call it Shae’s choice, lol.

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship. In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl. Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em. Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders.

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people. If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.

Ooohhhh. Who took the first stab at Wells? Maggie? Negan? Father G? I swear. I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field. Sorry. If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time. Interesting. Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt. With brick. Wood. Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature. Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.

Okay then. Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol. Tell me. Please. Anybody. How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian? Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian. But hey. Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.

All the babies huddled together giving me feels. Sorry. I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time. It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.

Aww. Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair? Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair. Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene. What can I say? I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.

Oh snap. The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5? Good times. We still had most of Team Family with us then. They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together. I miss them.

Carol and Lydia holding each other. These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw. Stop wasting your breath.

“She did. My enemy.” I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope? Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under. Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still. I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.

Alright. So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl? Man? You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates. Trust me on this.

So. Three teams, huh? Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future. Choose your fighters, lol. Seriously, though. Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?

Listen. Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus? Absolutely. You bet your sweet asses. But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol. What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond. No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us. I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie. Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.

Virgil volunteering to help. Okay. Damn. I’m honestly starting to like the guy.

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels. I mean, granted. It was a blink and you miss it scene. We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up. Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl. My heart.

Gracie and Aaron are sweet. And honestly? I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond. I mean no disrespect, but I really do.

“Why am I keeping you around?” Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog. Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat. I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living. Oh, that’s impressive.” The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol. Like if this had been Carol, yeah. But Maggie? Nope. They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls? Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith. It’s sweet.

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it. But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also? It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself. Like she’s still a kid. Wants don’t always line up with feelings. Anyway. Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return. Not just Michonne. I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well. Plot point, lol.

Seriously, though. I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season. I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will. All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.

Where are Negan and Elijah though? Ouch. There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.

Ready the what now?

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire! Barbara, is it? That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita. More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.

“Let’s stay away from the windows.” I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that. Still a badass moment though.

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel. At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.” Listen, Leah. Chick. You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other. It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.

WTF are they calling that thing? Sorry. I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him. That’s care for somebody he used to know. There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many. How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust? Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much? Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car? I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal. What else is new on this show, lol?

I care for Maggie. Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man. She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for. But are too far gone, so. We’ll make allowances.

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here. She’s always been on her own side.

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower. Taking Deaver down! Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.

Here comes that woman scorned part. I can feel it.

“Pope is dead. Dixon murdered him. He’s with the enemy.”

Please, Angela. I’m begging you. Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up. You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit. Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory. You just know they’re tired AF.

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger! Oh and Gracie. Angela?! A word.

Listen. Carol’s already done that fireworks trick. That Reaper dude owes her royalties. Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.

Angela has a point. It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress. Just saying.

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally? I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other. There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.” Straight from Angela’s mouth.

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.” Yeah, he did. That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol. Fight me.

Overall impression of the episode?

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore. There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ. I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna. Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon. If we can return to Team Family? The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world? You’ve got me. If not? Well. You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.

Anyway. The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual. The episode could have used a lot more of those.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

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