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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

only you and me

w/c: 6.7k

warnings: angst, mentions of weed, and some swearing

summary: whenever peter tries to tell you how he feels, harry gets in the way

a/n: ahhhh hi my loves! my mini writing break is over :,) life has been just a mess for me and i’ve been way more critical than usual about my work but i’m doing a little better and ready to get back into everything! this helped me a lot so i’m excited to share it with y’all <3 it’s also my first time writing harry osborn so lmk how i did lmaooofwfjj but yeah pls enjoy

“dude, she’s right there! just tell her!” ned whisper yells to peter, elbowing him for emphasis. they’re hidden behind a wall to watch you at your locker. you’re grabbing books while betty rants to you and mj rolls her eyes. “not now. she looks... busy,” peter gulps, gaze trailing down your body. he always finds excuses to put off telling you how he feels.

or rather, excuses find him. something comes up every time he gets the courage to do it. he has no idea why he’s so scared because he’s pretty sure you like him back. pretty sure. there are a few reasons why you might not. also, plenty why you might. you stay up late texting most nights, and you’ve even flirted a couple of times. it never fails to make peter blush. he trips over his words whenever he tries to flirt back.

he’s had feelings for you since the first time you two hung out alone. none of your other friends could make it, but you happily took him up on his offer to come over. you grinned through his whole apartment tour, asked about may and what she does. when peter showed you his room, you even complimented his movie posters, much to his surprise.

“really? you don’t think they’re, like, dorky?”

“no, peter. your interests aren’t dorky. everyone likes what they like.”

and, he liked you. he knew it from that point on. you’d know it too if the universe wouldn’t keep stopping him from saying that.

“she’s so...” peter pauses for a second. him and ned watch you pull betty in by her shoulders as if you’re going to kiss her. she dodges you, mj pushing her back, all three of you giggling about it before you grab betty’s hands and give her words of encouragement. “cool,” peter finishes, turning back to ned. “i mean, how she puts herself out there like that.”

“what’s stopping you from doing the same thing?” ned points out with a knowing smile that peter returns. you make it look so easy. whenever you’re comfortable around people, you can let go of any doubts you have. you stop worrying about what they might think and instead do what you want. it’s inspiring to peter, and heart warming getting to be one of the people you’re fully you with.

he wishes he could apply your wisdom himself.

peter shakes his head, staring down at the floor. “oh, you know. anxiety, fear of rejection. that fun stuff.” “so, yourself,” ned concludes, clapping peter’s backpack so hard it makes him stumble forward. betty and mj wave goodbye to you before heading to their first class. you’re still getting your things together at your locker. this is peter’s moment.

“come on, dude! y/n’s not busy anymore. you got this.” ned keeps his hand on peter’s back, adding on, “it’s been a year already.” “half a year,” peter corrects him in a mumble. he’s liked you for a really long time. “ok, i’m going. wish me luck.” he takes a deep breath and focuses in on you. “aw, dude. you don’t need it.” ned gives him one last pat on the back. “good luck, though.” “thanks, man. see you in trig.”

right as peter starts heading over, harry comes up behind you and covers your eyes. you squeal, jumping up and turning to him, laughing as you playfully hit at his chest. he brings you into a hug where your face is buried in his sweater and probably inhaling his super strong, super expensive cologne.

that’s what’s stopping peter, harry freaking osborn. his own friend.

peter quickly loses the tiny bit of confidence ned gave him. he figures it might be better to hold off on his confession and get an early start to class. unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. harry has already spotted him and calls him over.

“hey, pete! come give us some love, eh?” harry beams, an arm slung around your shoulders and you smiling up at him. you direct your smile to peter when he slumps his way to your locker. his lips pull into a barely noticeable frown. you notice. “there’s my guy. why so down, sunshine?” harry offers his fist for a fist bump. peter gives it to him, eyes staying on you.

harry osborn. where to begin with such a specimen? he’s the perfect combination of everything you’d want in a guy. he gets good grades, he’s a star player on on the basketball team, nice to everyone and makes you laugh, popular yet fits right into your small group.

he was friends with you before the popular thing. what kicked it off was him making varsity basketball while only being a sophomore. yep, he’s unreal. since then, he’s been balancing his cool life and also hanging with “the nerds,” as he likes to call you. he got his own feelings for you along the way. peter can tell.

he’ll give you rides home, compliment how you look, basically act like your boyfriend without really being it. it absolutely infuriates peter because he doesn’t compare to harry in the slightest. if he were you and had the choice between himself or harry, he would pick harry.

it’s been a factor in why he hasn’t come clean about how he feels yet. he’s not trying to create a love triangle that he doesn’t stand a chance surviving in.

“for real, peter. you good?” you ask him, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “fine,” peter lies and musters up a smile. “i’m just tired. didn’t sleep too good last night.” you’re only more concerned now. this has been happening to him a lot lately. you search for his eyes. “again?”

“aw, man. you need something for it?” harry punches peter’s shoulder and lowers his voice. “i know this kid who-“ “harry, stop.” your words are serious, tone lighthearted. you throw your head back on his arm. “do you really know a kid?” “i’m not telling you,” he says in an overly happy voice, you humming the same way. peter feels like he’s third wheeling.

“i was telling pete.” harry looks at him expectantly, peter’s mouth dropping open while he thinks of what to say. harry likes to mess around. this is a different level, though. “no thanks. i- i shouldn’t. i’m-“ “relax, i don’t know a kid,” harry chuckles and points at peter. “your face right now.” it’s completely flushed. you knock into harry’s side.

“ok, well literally no one laughed. you’re scaring him,” you tell harry sternly. peter tugs tight on one of his backpack straps. he doesn’t feel like he’s third wheeling you two now. he feels like your kid. he’ll never let ned mettle in his love life ever again if this is where it gets him. “he knows i’m kidding, y/n/n. right?” harry checks with peter. you make a face at him that says you aren’t convinced.

he switches his arm from you to peter, drawing him into his side. “look, pete. i’m sorry. the only kid i know who’s selling is chocolates for his band trip.” you’re satisfied with that, grinning at both of them. peter forces a laugh and nods. “no worries, man. i gotta get to class.” “good boy,” harry lets him go. “bye, pete. we’ll see you at lunch,” you remind him. he gives you a tight lipped smile. “see you, y/n/n.”

you and harry continue practically spooning each other as soon as peter is out of sight.

what the hell is going on?

peter is back to being grumpy, plopping down in his seat next to ned. their teacher has the lesson plan pulled up on the smart board. ned looks from it to peter, almost jumping in his seat. “oh, you’re back already? how’d it go?” “it didn’t go,” peter huffs, copying down the aim. he’s only doing it so he doesn’t have to look ned in the eyes while telling him he bailed. again.

“you didn’t do it?” ned repeats, peter writing something about pi and a unit circle in his notebook. he bites the inside of his cheek. “you have to do it at some point,” ned sighs out and picks up his pencil. even he’s getting tired of this, and ned never gets tired of a good friends to lovers moment. “i think she likes harry,” peter says under his breath. “huh?” ned gasps.

peter doesn’t feel like explaining the extremely awkward moment he just finished living. although, it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion. “y/n. he came over, and they kept hugging and whatever.” “they always do that,” ned almost scoffs, their trigonometry teacher moving to stand in front of the class. “yeah, but he had his arm around her the whole time we-“

the bell rings and cuts their conversation short. peter struggles to label the unit circle they learn about when his mind is filled to its capacity with images of you and harry all over each other. it’s not daydreaming. this is a nightmare. maybe, he actually will be having sleep problems.

peter’s morning is relatively decent after that. he gets to do an experiment with mj in chemistry, and she lets him take the lead for once. spanish is easy, health is okay, then he has a free period, then it’s lunch. things can only go downhill from here.

he thinks about hiding in the library until it’s over, but it’s the thought of harry eating your face that gets him to drag himself to the cafeteria.

flash is at the head of your table talking to harry when peter gets there. great, now he can’t eat his soggy chicken fingers in peace. “sounds dope. let’s go on the-“ flash stops saying what he was saying and nods at peter. “penis parker, you’re late.” peter takes his seat on your left, harry on your right. you glance over at him to make sure he’s okay. he acts like he doesn’t care, peeling open his milk carton.

“just text me later, man. get outta here,” harry dismisses flash, the two of them doing a bro handshake before he leaves. he’s well aware of his and peter’s history. he keeps them separate for the obvious reasons. peter appreciates it because saying no to flash is nearly impossible. he shouldn’t be so mad at harry, should he? he’s a good friend.

harry’s arm snakes around your waist and brings you closer to him. never mind.

“who’s up for sushi later?” he asks the table, everyone agreeing and saying how awesome that sounds. everyone except peter. you tap his shoulder with a small smile. “what about you, peter? you coming?” he realizes you’re all waiting for him to respond and puts down his milk. “uh, i can’t. homework,” he lamely answers.

“dude, we have homework, too. just do it a little later,” ned suggests, betty laying her head on his shoulder. you share a look with her, your eyes wide and a grin on your lips. that must have been what you were talking about this morning. she asked for boy advice. ned advice. why can’t this crap work out for peter?

“i really can’t. sorry, guys,” peter half heartedly apologizes.

he misses the disappointment that crosses your features because he’s pouting at his lunch again.

“homework, huh?” mj tests him, squinting as she takes a sip of apple juice. harry nudges peter’s side with two fingers. “you still mad about the sleeping thing?” “sleeping thing? what sleeping thing?” betty wonders while ned rests his head against hers. a quiet laugh slips out of you as you lean in to tell her.

“peter said he couldn’t sleep last night, so harry offered him...” you mime rolling a joint. “i said no,” peter clarifies, rolling his eyes at the inevitable teasing he’s about to get. none of you have even smoked besides harry. you’re being annoying about it. “of course you did,” mj sighs and kicks her feet up on the table. “unrelated to what y/n just said... harry, i have insomnia.”

everyone bursts into laughter at that, betty shoving her side and you pulling harry by his torso as he pretends to go into his backpack. peter wants nothing to do with any of this. he usually enjoys joking around with the group, even if it’s at his expense because it’s from a place of love.

today feels like you’re straight up making fun of him. harry might as well invite flash to join in.

“alright, alright, alright. enough of the weed talk,” harry decides, you removing your arms from him and grabbing your coffee. “you’re such a bad influence.” your voice drips with sarcasm. you bend the straw and take a sip while scooting closer to peter. “you really can’t come later? i feel like i’ve barely seen you today.” that’s on harry. “i wish i could, y/n/n,” peter exhales. “i’ll text you later, okay?”

you don’t get to answer because mj tugs on your arm, distracting you from peter. she explains how she has to do an art project on what it means to be a woman and needs help brainstorming ideas. you’re full of them, offering up an interesting perspective for her to use. peter smiles to himself as he listens in. you find a new way to impress him every day.

he should tell you that.

“hey, y/n?” “listen to her! you’re seriously my idol,” betty gushes, so loudly you don’t hear peter. not a single thing has gone in his favor at this table. he gives up.

peter locks himself in his room when he gets home from his overall terrible day. he does homework like he said he would, only taking a break for dinner, giving one word replies to may’s questions about school. he’d much rather be having sushi with you. he would’ve gone if the others didn’t.

after dinner, it’s back to grumbling and scribbling down answers. there’s a knock at peter’s door around ten o’clock, which he assumes is may saying goodnight. “i’ll be done in a few minutes, may! love you.” “it’s y/n,” you reply, the smile clear in your voice. his eyes go comically wide. that’s the last thing he expected to hear. “oh. uh, come in.”

you’re holding a small takeout bag, shutting the door behind you and walking over to his desk. you meet his twinkling eyes in the dim light that hits off his walls. from his open window, you faintly hear cars as they rush by and honk their horns in the distance, accompanied by a fresh breeze. it’s cozy, safe. it’s peter.

“hey. what’re you doing here?” peter questions, leaving his pencil in his binder and shutting it. you shake around the plastic bag. “i saved you a roll.” he bites back a smile, getting up from his chair. “may let me in. she was really chill about it,” you continue and hold out the sushi for him. “it’s a california roll. i wasn’t sure what you wanted, and everyone likes those.”

peter lets his smile spread out and takes the bag from you. “thanks, y/n/n. i was honestly hoping one of you would have leftovers.” you laugh softly, peter setting the bag down on his desk. he scratches the back of his neck. “did you guys have fun?” “yeah. i missed you, though.” you clasp your hands behind your back. “everyone did.”

“i feel bad i didn’t go. just... things felt off today,” peter admits the real reason he stayed home, you letting out a breath. “it was harry, wasn’t it? god, he was being so weird.” your arms drop back to your sides. “there’s a difference between playing around and actually upsetting people.” by people, you mean peter. no one else seemed too bothered by him. “i’m sorry, peter. i tried to make him stop.”

“no, you don’t have to apologize,” peter assures you sweetly, grabbing one of your hands. “it’s not your fault, okay? he probably didn’t realize what he was doing. the jokes landed.” he’s referring to ned, mj, and betty finding harry’s comments hilarious. you lace your fingers with peter’s and frown. “this isn’t like him. maybe he’s stressed about a game.” your gaze drifts off to the side, what you see getting you to perk up.

“is that new?” you ask peter, leading him by his hand over to a poster he put up recently. it’s for 13 going on 30. you showed it to him a couple of weeks ago, and he clearly liked it a lot. any movie that makes it to peter’s wall is a special one. “mhm. i got it literally right after you went home the night we watched,” he chuckles and looks over at you while you study the poster.

you turn to face peter again, keeping your hand tight in his. “were you gonna tell me something earlier? at lunch?” he’s confused for a second, then he remembers your ideas for mj’s art project. the fact that you cared enough to bring it up after all these hours makes his stomach do summersaults in the best way. he shrugs and gives you a smile.

“the stuff you were saying about femininity and how there are so many ways to define it,” peter starts, you grinning back at him, at how he took an interest in what you were saying. “you’re so smart, y/n. you make me wanna be better.” a light pink dusts his cheeks. “peter, you’re a feminist?” you coo, joking but genuinely wondering at the same time. he squeezes your hand. “duh.”

“i thought so,” you nod, taking in the rest of what he said. “you think i’m smart? i trust you because you’re way smarter.” peter pffts in response. “i’m only good at, like, physics. you’re good at things that really matter. smart in that way.” you’re feeling your own face get hot. you swing yours and peter’s hands back and forth. “why are you the nicest person ever?”

the answer to that, may, peeks her head into the room. “hey, kids. it’s getting late.” she notices your intertwined hands and shoots peter a smirk. “i thought you were a cool aunt,” he teases, you sadly letting go of him. “she is. thanks for having me over so late,” you tell may on your way to the door. “oh, stop it. you can come over any time.” she puts a hand on your arm. “thank you so much,” you murmur back.

you walk backwards to the doorway, may leaving you two to say your goodbyes. “wanna hang out only you and me? on friday maybe?” that should make up for everything earlier. “yeah, of course. friday is perfect,” peter agrees and bounces on his feet as excitement takes over him. “thanks again for the sushi.”

“no problem. goodnight.” it’s taking every last bit of power in you to not freak out. “night. text me when you get home.” he presses his tongue into his cheek. you slowly pull the door shut. “ok, i will. bye!” it closes, leaving peter skipping across his room to his bed on one side and you doing a little happy dance on the other.

the next day at school, everything is back to normal. honestly, better than normal. your hangout with peter is tomorrow, and he’s planning on telling he likes you then. he already talked it over with ned. he’s relieved it’s finally happening, especially since him and betty have their own thing. she’ll be taking up most of his free time from here.

your group is spending lunch outside today, lounging across a picnic table, surrounded by trees and the shining sun in a bright blue sky. mj sits on the table and has her feet on the bench, which would usually bug peter to no end. he doesn’t mind this time because it takes up enough room that harry has to sit with ned and betty instead of you. you lean into peter’s side and stab a piece of lettuce from your salad.

“it’s so nice out,” betty sighs, ripping off half her cookie and giving it to ned. “we should ditch.” “oh my god, you sound like harry,” you groan between bites of salad. peter lets out a breathy laugh, you looping your arm through his. he grins down at where you’re linked. harry crosses his own arms over his chest. “she wishes.” betty only nods because her mouth is full of m&m’s.

“nah, seriously. i’d take us out somewhere, but i have practice after school.” he speaks quieter than he normally does, less confident. your theory about him having basketball drama was right. “what did we tell you? talk about the sports shit with your sports friends,” mj complains, sitting back on her hands. she glances at harry over her shoulder and catches ned mouthing you can’t say that.

sitting criss cross, she spins around to face harry, unenthusiastically saying, “what i meant was, you sound upset. what’s wrong?” harry gets into it right away, like he’s been waiting for someone to ask. “coach says there might be a scout at the next game. it’s a really good opportunity even though i don’t have to worry about... college yet.” the word makes him cringe.

“oh, damn. that’s a big deal. scary,” mj snorts, turning back to you and peter. her behavior makes ned internally face palm. “that’s awesome, dude. you’re gonna play amazing like always.” he gives harry a high five, who smiles nervously in response. he’s never nervous. “thanks, bro. you guys wanna come and watch?” he’s never invited you to one of his games before either.

this isn’t a group of friends that likes to spend their weekends in bleachers while angry teens shout around them.

“definitely. we’ll be there to support you, harry,” betty answers for everyone, ned pecking her cheek in satisfaction. mj cusses to herself before replying. “if i absolutely must, sure.” only you and peter haven’t said anything yet. he’s been chewing his lower lip, and you your salad. harry looks between you two hopefully. it’s more so at you, which peter doesn’t like.

“y/n? pete? it would help a lot, i’m serious.” he taps his fingers on the table until one of you speaks up. you’re the one who does. “i’ll go. this is pretty huge, right? congrats.” you reach across the table and squeeze his shoulder while simultaneously tightening your arm around peter’s. he takes that as a cue. “i’ll go, too. happy for you, man.”

though peter isn’t currently in the best place with harry, he should show his support by showing up. it can’t be too bad since the rest of you will be there.

a loud, long chuckle leaves harry as he hops up from his bench and comes to yours and peter’s. he bends over and wraps both of you in a hug from behind at the same time. his arms are around each of your shoulders, holding you so close his cheeks are squished against either of your heads. you giggle at that, peter finding himself laughing along and reaching back to ruffle harry’s hair.

staying mad at him is one of the world’s greatest challenges.

“you’re saints, both of you. my angels.” he kisses the back of your head, then lays one right on peter’s cheek, leaving him blushing red and grinning. “what about the rest of us? i never go to shit like this,” mj huffs and seems genuinely offended. harry wiggles his eyebrows. “you want a kiss?” his offer gets her flustered, which she can’t manage to hide. that’s a first.

“shut up. i’m just saying... never mind.” mj glares at you and peter, ned and betty making kissing noises behind her. “someone change the subject.” peter steps in. “when’s the game, harry?” he asks, harry snapping and waving his finger. “tomorrow! cancel your plans, kiddos.” “like we had any,” betty retorts.

some of you did. that was going to be peter’s hangout with you.

ned smiles sympathetically at peter before betty is getting his attention. you‘re unfazed and rambling to harry how proud you are of him.

did last night mean nothing? was it an empty gesture? were you only doing it out of guilt? peter must have read your visit wrong. he’s been wrong the whole time he’s liked you. you don’t like him back, you pity him. harry is who you’re really interested in.

may always says he should trust his instincts.

peter pulls his arm from yours suddenly, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders. you’re taken back because it’s so out of no where. you stop talking to harry so you can figure out his deal. “where are you going?” “bell’s gonna ring,” peter mumbles and picks up his lunch tray. he heads to the garbage can without another word or goodbye to anyone.

“i’m gonna go check on him,” you tell harry, already getting up from the bench. “you do that,” he acknowledges and calls mj’s name again.

peter tosses his mostly untouched food in the trash, seeing you make your way over from the corner of his eye. he tries to speed walk inside so he doesn’t have to talk to you. you’re too quick, cornering him between the door and brick wall.

“we still have ten minutes,” you state, worry flashing across your face. he’s avoiding you. well, attempting to. “what’s wrong?” peter gulps before saying anything. “my next class is on the other side of the-“ “no,” you cut him off. “what’s really wrong?”

he doesn’t feel like having this discussion. it’s bad enough he came to the realization his feelings are one sided. must he break that down for you so soon?

you toy with your sleeve while you speak because peter doesn’t. “i thought you and harry were fine again. i mean, he kissed you.” peter clenches his jaw so hard he can imagine the sound of it cracking. “it’s not about harry.” “what, then? what the fuck happened?” your sleeves are now balled in your fists. you hate it when peter does this angsty routine.

he keeps his voice low and calm so he doesn’t come off as jealous or hurt. he’s both of those things. “the game is tomorrow. friday. when we were supposed to hang out.” you meet peter’s eyes with nothing but remorse in yours. “i... i forgot,” is all you have to say.

you feel awful. he’s had a tough couple of days, and you fell through on your promise to cheer him up.

“clearly,” peter remarks, voice sharp. the way you’re looking at him makes him think he won’t like what’s coming. “peter, we have to go,” you almost whine. “i’m really sorry, i am, but this is a big night for harry. he needs us there.” peter stays silent. you’re twisting the knife deeper into him with every word. “i wouldn’t be cancelling if this wasn’t important.”

now you’re cancelling?

you reach for peter’s hand, but he shoves it into his pocket. that stings for you and him. “please, peter. we’ll hang out at the game, i swear.” this is the last chance you’ve got, so you pile it on. “harry won’t even be there, technically. he’ll... he’ll be on the court.” peter hadn’t thought about that. he lets himself unclench, starting to see the appeal. you add one more thing to lighten the mood and persuade him.

“i’ll buy you popcorn, all you can eat.” it’s that easy. cracking a smile, peter accepts. he’ll deal with his unresolved, unreciprocated feelings after he stuffs his face, courtesy of you. “you better. i’m gonna need it for this long ass game.” your face lights up, grabbing his wrist in both hands.

“so, you’ll come?” “i’ll be there,” he confirms. you throw your arms around his neck. he laughs into the hug and holds you by your middle. “i promise this’ll be the first and last game we ever go to,” you say and mean it. harry is lucky you’re even suffering through this a first time. “thank god,” peter exhales, resting his chin on your head.

that interaction leaves peter confused as hell. you’re crushing his mind and soul one minute, then hugging him the next. you were making him feel so special lasts night, and treating harry the same way today. it’s so jumbled that he isn’t sure if he’s in the friend zone or something more zone.

there are a ton of mixed signals coming his way, and he sucks at reading people as is.

he can’t take another second of this. he’d rather you come out and say you like harry already because it’s torture. knowing you don’t want him in that way would at least eliminate the possibility of anything happening between you two, and allow him to stop driving himself insane.

he’d be able to stop taking it out on harry, too.

the hold you have on peter, that you’re oblivious to, rules his every thought and decision. he’s constantly analyzing what you say to him, debating whether or not your affection is simply platonic. it’s been half a year of this madness, the night of harry’s game blurring every line so much more.

your group arrives a bit early to find seats and hype harry up before he plays. peter gets there after all of you because he’s not exactly in a rush to watch sweaty guys be aggressive. there’s only one upside, which is spending the night with you... and everyone else.

he steps into the gym that’s filling up fast with family members, friends, and the college scout harry was talking about. midtown has a different feeling to it at night. the smell of pencils is oddly stronger, and it’s a lot less intimidating.

cheerleaders are huddled in a circle while the team supervisor has them run their chants. the “leading official,” who peter thought was called a referee, takes his place off to the side. coaches give their players last minute instructions, players fool around with each other, a lot is going on.

peter scans the room for you, and grins a toothy grin when you catch his eyes. you’re sitting by yourself in one of the middle bleachers, only a bag of skinny pop in your lap. you return the smile once you spot him and wave him over.

“i don’t know why, but i thought they’d have an actual concession stand,” you explain the lack of fresh, buttery popcorn as peter takes a seat next to you. he catches the prepackaged bag you toss him. “it’s just a snack table.” “works either way,” peter hums and pokes the bag. “i’m not sure skinny pop is all i can eat, though.” “it’s good!” you defend the snack you chose for him.

“i’m kidding! you’re right, it’s kind of addicting.” he puts it by his feet for now and gives you a half smile. “you’re welcome,” you deadpan in a playful tone. “thanks.” he narrows his eyes. “where’s everyone else?” “right,” you twist around and gesture to the bleacher above you. mj is gloomily seated near the back. ned and betty are a few behind you.

“i told them to find their own seats so we can sit together, alone.” you look over at peter and move ever so slightly closer. “welcome to our friday hangout. just the two of us.” “aw, you didn’t have to do that,” peter laughs out, his knee bumping yours. “but, i’m happy you did.” he goes to put an arm around you, then harry comes racing up the stairs.

just the two of you didn’t last so long.

“y/n, i’m freaking out,” harry announces, zooming through your row to get over to you. he stops once he’s standing in front of peter and shakes him by his shoulder. “hey, pete. you made it.” “yup,” peter replies, pressing his lips together. you wince at his reaction, then quirk an eyebrow at harry. “you’re freaking out? why?”

harry sits down between you and peter, blissfully unaware of the moment he interrupted.

“i found the scout. he’s fucking terrifying as fuck. this super ripped guy, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else,” he talks quietly, like the man will hear him. “he’s not the only one,” peter says to himself, kicking around his bag of popcorn to pass time. you ignore him and grimace.

“shit. wait, how do you know it’s him? did they tell you?” you’re not sure how these things go. harry casually shrugs a shoulder. “dude has a clipboard. seems legit to me.” he gives you a cocky smile. “he’s also in the row before mj. that’s how i noticed. um...” his back now facing peter, he whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle.

peter’s face scrunches up as the spark of anger the past few days have lit reignites itself.

when harry pulls away, you motion for him to come closer with your index finger, cupping your hand around his ear and speaking into it.

nope, no more. peter is entirely about to explode. you cancelled your plans so you can force him to watch basketball, you sweet talk him so he’ll let it go, and you’re running right back to harry after all of that? what the hell does that mean?

peter stands up from his seat. “y/n, we need to talk,” he demands, you moving away from harry to respond. “ok, gimme a minute. we’re-“ “no, we need to talk now.” you don’t have time to refute because he’s taking your arm and dragging you away. harry squints at you in utter confusion.

“um, have a good game! we’ll talk later,” you call back to him, walking with peter even though you have no idea what his issue is and aren’t a fan of how he’s acting.

he releases you once you’re in the hallway. you make a point of harshly yanking your arm back, a scowl painting your lips. “jesus, peter. i was having a conversation.” “do you like harry?” peter blurts out. you’re so shocked at his abruptness that you don’t give him much to work with, only, “what?” “do you like harry?” he asks you again, this time less accusing and more curious.

“do i like...” you’re too aware of the seemingly hundreds of people surrounding you to answer comfortably. “can we talk about this somewhere else?” “sure,” peter nods, letting you lead the way since he did to get out here. you two go down the hall and choose the first room you see, which happens to be the custodian’s closet. it’s thankfully unlocked.

things were tense between you and peter on the way over, and it’s physically mirrored when you step into the room, air thick and smelling of lemon cleaning supplies. you tug on the string hanging down to turn on the light. it casts a faded glow, leaving you in mostly darkness. you sort of like it. this feels more intimate, which is fitting for what you’re both about to say.

neither one of you knows where to begin. peter’s question is ringing in the back of your mind, and you could touch on that, but there’s more to it than a simple yes or no. you don’t have to worry about it because peter gets his words out first.

“i think harry likes you, and i think you like him back,” peter restarts, already sounding deflated by what he came up with. “he doesn’t, and i don’t.” you take a step towards him. “he likes mj.” it’s peter’s turn to be shocked. the hint of a smile sets on your lips. “that’s what we were talking about. harry asked if he should take her to dinner after the game, and i said yes.”

this is going better than he expected.

“mj is the one who likes him, not me,” you reiterate and watch some life enter peter again, a tiny bit. he’s coming around, and he wants to believe you. his trust issues don’t. “but, you’re so... touchy with each other. the hugging the other day?” he mentions. you tilt your head to the side in amusement. “friends can’t hug?”

to be fair, you hugged peter yesterday. that’s a point rightfully shut down.

“he calls you pretty,” peter tries, raising both eyebrows. you have to laugh at this one. “you call may pretty.”

obviously, peter’s analysis skills could use some serious improvements. it sounds like he had the right idea, wrong person. your relationship with harry is platonic. hell, he’s crushing on a whole different person. this actually opens up the possibility of you liking peter in the romantic way, of him being in the something more zone. he had it backwards.

in case peter isn’t convinced yet, and because you really want to, you use one more trick to prove to him you don’t like harry.

“do me and harry do this?” your lips speak for you, colliding with peter’s unexpectedly yet easily. he feels like he’s floating, like he’s in some sort of magical wonderland until it hits him that this is real, and he should probably kiss you back. he does so softly and tangles his fingers in your locks. his hand supports the back of your head as the kiss goes on.

you push forward so your bodies are almost fused together, the closest you can be while you hold his jaw. peter breaks the kiss for a short breather, going back in without more than a moment passing. this one is feverish, his free arm looping around your lower back, hand resting on the small of it. you let out a giggle against his swollen lips and stroke your thumb over his jawline.

he’s been waiting to do this for the longest time, but he doesn’t have to tell you that. it shows in how eager he was to reciprocate, his shyness blossoming into passion. you feel yourself melting under his touch, the kiss eventually becoming a series of short pecks. peter gives you the final one. his pink lips form a grin when you pull apart. your hands stay on each other, not in a rush to go anywhere.

“woah, i like you so much,” peter laughs out. the words roll off his tongue naturally. “you know i like you,” you drawl, smiling at him, a full body smile while you caress his skin. he winds both arms around you and dips his head down to steal another kiss. you’re loving what’s happening. however, you don’t feel like making out while dirty brooms stare at you. you should take this back home.

“wanna get out of here? i do,” you suggest, voice muffled from his lips. they detach from yours and brush your cheek gently. peter makes a funny face. “hm, i thought we had to come. harry needs us,” he says what you did yesterday, earning a groan back. “you’re joking.” “i’m not. what kind of friends would we be, ditching him like that?”

he’s going to end you one day.

“yeah, no. i have no idea how basketball works, and i’d like to keep it that way,” peter drops the act, pressing his fingers into your sides. “i’ve been so mean to harry. i was...” “a dick?” you finish for him. it’s more of a statement than a question. to soften the blow, you rub his cheek with the tips of your fingers. “yup. he’s gonna think i hate him or something if we don’t stay.” his formerly smiley face is frowning.

“harry of all people will understand after we tell him our reasons,” you reassure him, nudging under his chin with your nose. “besides, he has other things to worry about. mj, the scout. it’s fine.” peter considers it, ultimately giving in to you like he always does, resting his forehead on yours. “i guess so. less distractions for him, yeah.” “exactly. that’s what i wanna hear.”

having his approval, you unwind yourself from him and head to the door. his fingers wrap around your wrist gently. “what about my popcorn?” a giggle escapes your lips. “you’re still on that?” “you said all i can eat!” his voice comes out high pitched, adorably high pitched.

“fine. i might have those bags you put in the microwave.” you smile when his fingers lock with yours, peter kissing the side of your head.

“even better. let’s go home.”

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine

606 notes · View notes

ilyuqi · 2 years

Text

I posted 3,682 times in 2021

3443 posts created (94%)

239 posts reblogged (6%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 493 tags in 2021

#ask - 418 posts

#yeah - 16 posts

#fei - 11 posts

#sorry - 11 posts

#idk - 8 posts

#i like this post - 7 posts

#:( - 7 posts

#yknow? - 6 posts

#mcyt - 5 posts

#sarcasm - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#idk how the law works but if drm puts a significant large amount of people at risk for a bad event in his name wont there be consequences??

My Top Posts in 2021

Bro they literally try so hard to be so ‘pc’ and not assume sexualities so instead they project everyone as being straight while trying to fight for the removal of straight as the norm. Bitch you are just perpetuating it!! It is ok to read the signs of an obvious gay instead of assuming he’s straight. Doesn’t matter anyway tho cause deep down they all know he’s fucking gay theyre just trying to deny the fact that they’re as much of a truther as all the people they publicly denounce.

when will people realize that sexuality is apart of identity and if you're a cc putting your identity and persona out there people are gonna ask you about your sexuality or make up one in their heads for you?? it's the same in the real world, that's how it WORKS. GAH. ASSUMING SEXUALITIES ISN'T WEIRD!!!!! STOP MAKING IT WEIRD!!! ITS LITERALLY HOW THE WORLD IS IRL!!!

44 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 21:46:25 GMT

the same dream solos saying we are extremely hateful as if they don’t get mad and pissed at anyone praising george for anything other than his face.

when ppl made fun of a gnfer for saying george was smart for have finishing his a levels in 4 subjects and people were like "LOLLL YOU THINK HIM FINISHING CHEMISTRY IS SMART? FUCKING LOSER" and then british ppl were like "ermmm nobody here finishes 4 a levels thats actually a very difficult feat" and the dream solos went silent. also dream solos tweet shit like this:

LIKE BROTHER I CANT BREATHEEEE. just accept george is the whole package! he's smart, pretty, did an incredibly difficult major at a prestigious college and graduated, a social butterfly, wilbur's boyfriend.. the list goes on and on! gnf is perfect

45 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 03:46:49 GMT

53 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 20:48:03 GMT

anyone else think it's funny dream spent 11 months on a speedrun controversey but wouldn't even dedicate more than 2 hours of his time clarifying his political beliefs for poc stans

53 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 19:52:15 GMT

a longish rebuttal to the recent “callout” post made

to begin this, i do need to say i’m sort of an outsider to mcytblr, i’ve only been here for a few months and due to that, do not have many friends within the critblr space. most of my friends have moved on from tumblr, so in my head, i am very much just a little solo blog that isn’t really connected to any active groups on tumblr. so when i saw a callout post for tumblr blogs i respect, i was interested to see what was up and was really surprised to find the most pointless callout of my life and it’s angered me so much that i’m now writing an entire rebuttal, mostly out of spite. so let’s begin with why this post and it’s contents are inherently useless.

post link: https://mctruth.tumblr.com/post/665607342113603584/some-things-we-think-ebblrtruthblr-should-know

1. the very existence of the post

the very existence of this post is inherently problematic as it calls out people for breaking boundaries of certain ccs, but is also then addressed to ebblr/truthblr, a sublr dedicated to truthing ccs and ebblr, which specifically pertains to ranboo and tubbo. shipping and truthing directly go against ranboo and tubbo’s boundaries, and ebblr/truthblr do them in a very public way. i’m not saying this is a bad thing, but it must be addressed that when you yourself are apart of an inherently problematic community, calling out problematic behaviour must be done in an incredibly nuanced way, as you come off as completely dumb if you criticize people for doing the exact same as you. you don’t get to be a murderer and then say, “well that person murdered WAY worse that i did, i’m better.” that’s not how it works! with this post, mctruth has essentially done the exact same and i’m about to get into the content of the post and how it doesn’t work, but basically, if you’re basically doing the same thing as the people you call out, it’s impossible to take your post as credible or worth taking seriously.

2. the nature of the post

the nature of the post is that it was created using both public screenshots off of mcytblr blogs and private conversations in a discord server, i’m going to get into why i believe public screenshots are obsolete, but private discord conversations in a callout post essentially prove that this callout was unnecessary. private conversations do nothing to anyone, not until they’re brought out to light and do what? stir the pot? cause stress to the people apart of the conversation? now if someone active and close within the server and the mcytblr blogs mentioned was the one exposing them for behaviour they felt hurt by, then that’s an entirely different circumstance. but you are an outsider, just leaking discord screenshots to upstand a moral code you yourself are unable to hold up. the nature of the post is that it was unnecessary and created solely to cause uproar. there was no real reason to make this post, especially considering most of the content within it is stupid as well. and now.. to get into the content itself.

3. the content of the post

the content of the post is rendered stupid by the fact that 1) most of this stuff isn’t even wrong and 2) private conversations weren’t hurting anyone in the first place. so i’m going to go through the carrd, point by point and refute each of them. (mctruth.carrd.co)

a. let’s talk about jason

let’s talk about jason is probably the funniest and dumbest part of the callout thread. most of these posts and “callouts” are already public. there was no reason to include them in an expose, when in fact jason was already open with his thoughts on kf. it screams “we need to make sure we get jason good” and trying to find any wrongdoing he’s done and including it, even though jason has done.. essentially nothing new? did jason himself leak information found on kf? did he leak phone numbers, addresses, ect ect on his blog? to my knowledge, no. kf, as sad as it is, is incredibly mainstream within the mcyt community, twitter or tumblr wise. jason is not the catalyst to people joining kf, acting as if jason’s thoughts on kf are the holy grail and people are about to kill themselves to follow jason in every thought and opinion he’s ever had is so dumb. you said it yourself, he understands the negative effect! he’s not the first person to talk about kf, and definitely won’t be the last, but atleast he’s portraying it for what it is. what i’m trying to say is, people talk about kf. it’s not an obscure website, and most everyone knows about it. acting like jason talking about it is the end of the world and the reason people join kf is stupid, and not thought out at all. youll find this theme throughout the callout post, the makers being more interested in exposing every wrongdoing jason has ever done, instead of actually thinking about the nature of his posts, and desperate to just paint and target him as a bad person for things basically everyone else does.

b. ableism

so to begin, most of the people saying the r slur or these remarks are definitely nd. so. unsure what we were trying to accomplish there. “crippletwt” is a twitter account that got sent into the discord and people responded to it, and noted the fact their @ was kind of funny, since you literally don’t provide any context at all for that bit. the biggest part however is the idea that these people were making fun of systems, and since they are not systems, they don’t get to do this and are ableist. acting like the only people who can talk about systems are systems themselves is incredibly harmful as it keeps from important conversations from happening about did and systems. when we pretend like a 14 year old self diagnosing themselves with did and calling them a psychotic is okay, we actively harm people who have actual did and systems. it’s okay to call them out! being skeptical of people on the internet extensively self diagnosing themselves with certain mental health conditions is not a bad thing, and honestly should be encouraged considering there is a certain amount of notoriety someone gains in spaces like tumblr/tiktok from having said mental health condition. i’ve always been open with my thoughts on alters and systems and did within the mcyt community and my overarching opinion is that.. most of these actual children are faking it. it’s so hard to get a diagnosis already because did is such a specific condition, but when you have literal children on the internet narrating their 300+ alters on their cookie run account.. it’s okay to be doubtful. it’s okay to not let false renditions of did/systems become the norm and ruin the already very limited knowledge people have about did in the outside world. having an opinion on someone faking a mental health condition is not ableism. (also i’m fairly sure there’s someone in the server who is an actual system so umm idk what to say like. you don’t need to be a white knight brother)

c. queerphobia

so again, public posts which is like. ugh. he was already open about this opinion there’s no reason to expose him for it!!! people who follow his blog were already aware about this so like.. who was this for? (spoiler, the makers just want to paint jason as the worst possible person on the planet for .. their own reasons. this isn’t “for ebblr” or some noble bullshit, this is for themselves) but even then.. jason isn’t saying anything radical or new. telling people that femme presenting nblm don’t get a pass to be homophobic to mlm isn’t.. a radical take? spoiler alert, homophobia is homophobia regardless of who it’s coming from, even if you ARE apart of that community? like what? what is so controversial about this take that.. seems pretty normal . the doki doki literature meme is just that, a doki doki literature meme created maybe back in 2018 and was a cornerstone of the internet. when someone says “can’t believe people weren’t here for this” it doesn’t mean anything malicious, it literally means i can’t believe people weren’t on the internet for this. i think you guys genuinely misinterpreted this and again, just displays your incompetency and blatant disregard into doing research about the things you chose to put here. and to mention again, i wouldn’t have to be explaining this IF YOU HADNT LEAKED PRIVATE CONVOS THAT WEREN’T HURTING ANYONE. the final part is the criticism of microlabels.. and to that i say… here’s this twitter post that i pretty much agree with wholeheartedly. criticizing microlabels isnt a bad thing, having opinions in private spaces isnt a bad thing and acting like it is is like.. just so dumb?

d. rp server

THIS IS SO FUNNY i genuinely dont understand what needed to be exposed about this, jokes with friends about ccs in private that aren’t hurting anyone don’t need to be brought up like?? “ranboo you can’t touch a woman until marriage” is the funniest shit in the world. LET PEOPLE LAUGH.

e. ranboo neg

this is probably the entire reason i made this post and why i was so angry in the first place, nobody is required to like your streamer, especially when they’re in a private space voicing all their opinions. NOT ALL OPINIONS ABOUT PUBLIC FIGURES NEED TO BE CONSTRUCTIVE. no i’m not saying that you’re allowed to be mean to ccs just because they’re ccs, but you don’t.. have to have a positive opinion about them at all times and joking around in a server with a bunch of friends, FAR from where it’s hurting ranboo or any cc is.. completely fine? when did we start acting like ccs didn’t know this would happen? when you put yourself out there on the internet, you are willingly subjecting to yourself to criticism that may not even make sense to you, but it’s what happens. the only thing that came out of this is that you took perfectly normal things to say in a private server about a public figure, that wasn’t going to hurt ANYONE out into the open where now it may possibly be viewed and actually hurt a cc. are you insane? what was this going to do for anyone? PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO TALK BADLY ABOUT YOUR CC AND NOT BE KILLED FOR IT. stop acting like having opinions is a bad thing, especially when they can’t hurt anyone in the first place.

so yeah, essentially this callout post is the dumbest thing i think i’ve ever read, and makes no actual points to why these people are “bad” and moreso comes off as a targeted attack masquerading as a moral act, and it’s just so hard to read through. this is the internet, literally none of this matters. what i’m saying doesn’t matter and neither does what you say matter. go have some fun. go live an actual life where you aren’t so hung up on every little thing someone you don’t like says and just.. HAVE FUN. jesus. Idk. if you want to talk to me about any of this, youre free to, but this is my main opinion and stance on this. callout posts are dumb, but man this one took it to a whole new level.

56 notes • Posted 2021-10-21 16:44:09 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #obsessed that my longest post is the one about dteamblr 3 callout

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floraisann · 4 years

Text

ateez reaction: you’re addicted to animal crossing: new horizons

➣ requested? ✓

➣ genre: fluff, humor

➣ masterlist

sorry that some of these are kinda dry 😔 i am try

❅♩♬♩❅――

❥ kim hongjoong:

lets you do your thing tbh

you’ll probably just be vibing in the living room with the switch hooked up to the tv and everything’s great when hongjoong just,,,, moves his work over without saying anything

you’re just ???? and he’s just :)))) the “just another tuesday” grin, you know?

after long enough if you ask him why he moved, he just says he “likes the soundtrack” like bro we do be bopping to the animal crossing ost out here in this quarantine joint

watches you play, only making comments when a villager says something REALLY cursed

really likes marshal— he’s funny

not the type to hate villagers either except chops, fuck chops

once yunho shows him how the custom qr code outfit designs work you’re about to have the most stylish lil mayor that ever roamed the earth

probably also borrows your switch to make your town jingle

overall is just confused by the game dynamic, but likes the music and how happy it’s making you :)

you’re gonna have to put the switch down on your own honey, he’s too caught up in bopping to the music while doing his own work to realize you’ve been playing for eight hours

❥ park seonghwa

has the game too, probably bought it for you so you could build “couple islands” and be THAT cute gamer couple

still probably nags you for gaming too hard if too many hours pass and you’re ignoring basic needs to like,,,, get lolly on your island or something of the sort

but lolly’s cute give him 5 mins to fall in love w god cat

sends you cute in-game love letters when you’re headass six feet away from each other in real time

but it’s ok they’re cute and he likes making you blush

brings his pretty flowers to your island he also steals yours but that’s okay

dumbfounded by your blatant aggression towards certain villagers

offers to “trade” villagers with you to make you happy and marshal scares him please take marshal from him

yes he’ll bring you cute snacks as if you were studying

overall happy that you found something you enjoy together, but will make you take frequent breaks so you don’t put off whatever you actually have to do too much

❥ jeong yunho

didn’t get the hype at first. bought the game since he thought it had to be super fun if you were ignoring him for hours at a time to go bug catching LMFAO

yet when he downloads it there’s a catch

mr epic gamer, unlike you, has the luck of a god and generates an actual island paradise and probably gets a ton of shooting star fragments too 😔✊🏻

you’re the one stealing from his island, but it’s okay he loves you 💕

and he doesn’t quite understand the game yet

gives you star fragments because you can’t get any and he doesn’t want you all sad because you can’t make a wand!!

has all the cute villagers, but if any try to move will give them to you

pays off your tom nook debt because with his luck it probably takes him less than an hour to get filthy rich in game

also figures out the qr code outfits early on. yes he’ll try to make you one, yes he’ll make himself match

overall, he gets the game because of you but does it better because it’s yunho why wouldn’t he xoxo

still makes sure you’re doing what you need to before you go off to work on your island for six hours; the type to offer game rewards he magically obtains as a prize for you after you finish your daily work

oh to be jeong yunho

❥ kang yeosang

the president of the epic gamer club

probably persuaded you to buy it with him so he could rob your island of all your goods

makes you both reset the game until your islands both have good items but are different

so he can steal your fruit :D

“y/n, you— no, restart. you can’t have peach trees, i already have peach trees!”

“dates” where you guys lie on his bed with your consoles, literally just exploring each other’s islands

y’all practically end up sharing two islands. that’s how much you play together

invites you to go raid the other members’ islands

cursed humor carries into the game; like he’ll send you crackhead mail when you least expect it and the content WILL be something that’s only funny because it’s Yeosang

“you make me so incredibly happy, y/n. almost as happy as when tom nook first handed me my nookphone. almost”

celebrates with you when you’re both rid of the ugly villagers

overall impartial to your obsession, rather he’s glad he has someone to steal from share with

still will make you take breaks with him. he loves that you’ve got a pretty island but you need to take care of yourself sweetie

if you don’t listen he will randomly come on your island to beat you up with a shovel xoxo yeosang luvs u 😘

❥ choi san

would not mind the game at all if it weren’t making you IGNORE HIS NEED FOR CUDDLES >:(

tbh san would probably whine about being attention starved for an eternity 15 mins until he realizes his whining isn’t working, and he has no choice but to cuddle up to you while letting you do your thing

by that i mean he’s backseat gamer all the way, no i do not accept criticism

he’d probably just plop down next to you and cuddle into your side or lay on top of you— just positioning himself in some way that he can see your gameplay

the type to cling to you while you play while bothering you until you accept his game opinions as fact

can and will make you kick out the villagers he thinks are ugly

“i just want you to kick that smelly limberg out, is that really too much to ask?”

probably spent 10 minutes absolutely losing his shit over the animal crossing language

“WHY ARE THEY TALKING IN KEYBOARD SMASH?”

takes the next half hour to learn how to speak it

so next time you play too long and ignore him, will shut off your switch then lay down on you and scream acnh villager language gibberish in your EAR

"you didn’t have a problem with that voice three hours ago when you were talking to that cat rosie!!” :(

if you really ignore him and never stop playing NOTHING is stopping him from being dramatic and saying smth like “y/n, i can’t take this anymore! choose, me or him!”

“him” is tom nook

why the fuck would you pick tom nook

❥ song mingi

knows the game is popular but wasn’t bothered to try playing

so when he sees you, curled up on the couch in the same position he saw you two hours ago just with one less family sized bag of chips, he quietly sighs to himself and sits next to you

“is the game really that interesting?”

when you nod, he ends up like san and kind of chills with you, backseat gaming mode

except he isn’t yelling at you to kick out the ugly villagers, he can already see you trying on your own

gets shocked when the first tarantula appears and you get bitten

occasionally gives input on what he thinks you can do to have a better island

makes you go on an island tour so he can see what you headass just spent the last week making

actually is impressed by how much work you put into your virtual island

congrats! you’ve unlocked an achievement! : gaming livestream date for song mingi

will decide for himself who the cutest villager is then act cute and ask if he looks like them. it’s probably gonna be kid cat. tell him he does. please, Tell Him he looks like kid cat

basically i don’t think he’d be that put off by you getting addicted to the game because!!! acnl is the most relaxing game ever he likes to watch you while he unwinds after a long day

if you play too long though he won’t really say much, just sit by you pouting like :(((( “lov me”

pls love him, the big babie 🥺

❥ jeong wooyoung

another member that probably has the game, but isn’t as obsessed as you

will beg you for shooting star fragments if you get any though. please get this man a wand

does not get WHY you’re trying so hard on your island layout. literally only wants one villager, his island can go to shit so long as he has that one villager

that one villager is probably gonna be molly or something

another member who learns how to imitate animal crossing speak, except his voice is already in the correct pitch

makes fun of you complaining about a villager you hate but it all comes back to bite him in the ass once moose shows up on his island and he gets it

you guys are having a competition to see who can get sprinkle on your island first

spoiler alert: he wins, he stole her from seonghwa

(he steals a lot from seonghwa)

overall happy with the fact that you guys have a game to play together

but if you grind too hard on your own and ignore him for hours at a time can and will invade your island to steal your fruit and trample your flowers. AND send you spam mail

sorry

❥ choi jongho

doesn’t care for the game, and he’s mostly chill too so he’ll probably just vibe in the other room while you play, waiting for you to finish so he can do something with you

comes out a few hours later when you’re (still) lying on the couch, angrily button mashing while muttering curses to yourself

he’s really confused tbh, he’s seen yeosang play, he knows you don’t gotta go that hard to be a successful mayor, so he HAS to ask what the fuck you’re so mad about

“i’m TRYING to catch a blittering at the moment, but i keep getting these stupid carps!!! i have a debt to pay off, god!!”

becomes infinitely more amused with the game after that point

he thinks its so funny how someone could get heated while playing through probably the most relaxing game ever

watches you fish; he enjoys the puns and seeing you get frustrated when you keep catching those goddamn carps

probably takes the switch from you at one point to try his hand at it and catches a koi fish in his first five minutes

“i guess you just suck at fishing, y/n”

overall pretty unbothered by your love for the game until you start ignoring him

then he will threaten your in-game apples, saying he’s .2s away from stealing one of his members’ switches just to brawl with your trees

and we all know who’s gonna win between jongho and apples

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons #ateez scenarios #ateez writing #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez humor #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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realllllfangirllllll · 5 years

Text

More Than Friends ||

Chp. 35

Masterlist

CEO!Jaehyun AU x Reader

College Student!Jaemin AU x Reader

Summary: After a complicated relationship with the infamous CEO, you want nothing more than to live your life as a normal college student; however, Mr. CEO just can’t let you go.

{ Previous / Next }

Slowly tearing your eyelids open, you found yourself wrapped up in Mark’s bed. A bead of sweat began to roll down the side of your face. The heat aggravated you, so you flung the bedsheets off you. The first thing your mind went to was your phone. You found your bag on the bedside table and dug desperately for your device.

A numerous amount of notifications flooded your screen when you turned it on. You saw all the texts your friends sent filled with concern, but you couldn’t help but scroll through the many hate comments on your social media. A wave of online news mentioned you and Jaehyun, most of them containing harsh and negative criticism.

Your eyes began to water, suddenly, a stream of tears fell down your face. Sadness and insecurity took over you, feeling helpless as a heavy flood of tears soaked your skin.

Gold digger

Slut

Whore

These words repetitively hit your eyes and shot at your heart. You didn’t understand why everyone hated the two of you together. The more comments you read, the more useless you felt.

You did this to Jaehyun. You turned a perfectly fine man into a scandalous bachelor and crushed his life.

The dizzy feeling started to come back to you and you felt like you were surrounded by mirrors in a bathroom all over again. You thought to yourself: No, I can’t do this anymore. I’ve ruined everyone I love. My parents, my ex-boyfriend, and now Jaehyun.

More tears fell down your face as you read the texts Jaehyun sent. You battled with your emotions and logic, and finally, you took the courage to officially end both of your pain. Typing your final words to Jaehyun, you pressed the send button.

I won’t let anyone get hurt because of me anymore. Just like the others, it’s only right to let Jaehyun go as well. I’m certain. But why does my heart feel this way?

You shook your head, ignoring the aching of your heart. Gently moving your limbs, you tried to touch the slippers lying on the hard floor beside you. The bed creaked and almost immediately, Mark zoomed pass the door and offered you his help.

“Watch out little girl. You just fainted, stop trying to move so much,” he warned you with concern.

You smiled weakly as you stood up.

As soon as Mark made eye contact with you, he knew something was wrong. He asked with worry, “Y/n what happened? Did you cry??”

Turning away from Mark, you wiped your tear-stained face. You told him softly with exhaustion evident in your voice, “It’s nothing...”

Mark walked you to the living room couch and sighed as he went to grab a glass of water for you. The room was dead silent, the only noise was the water hitting the bottom of the glass cup. You turned towards the kitchen and stared at Mark, waiting for him to say something. Handing you the glass, he hesitantly said, “Jaehyun and Jaemin found the culprit, and the reporters bombarded Jaehyun,” he let out a huff of exhaustion and continued, “including the chairman of Starship.”

His final words sent a sharp dagger towards your heart. Guilt started to eat you out alive. You chewed at your bottom lip and mumbled towards the floor, “I really did ruin everything for him...”

Mark caught your words and glared at you, “Are you serious right now, y/n?” He started angrily lecturing you, “After all that you went through, you’re still thinking about others? Don’t you see that none of this was your fault?? You need to start thinking about what’s good for yourself, how great of a person you are, and how you do not deserve to be put on the spot like that.” He shook his head and chuckled a bit to himself, “Shit if liking each other is a scandal, then more than 80% of the world is scandalous. Society is dumb, and you need to understand that your relationship did nothing to harm him or you. If anything, the relationship made both of you a better version of yourselves.”

He sat down next to you and grabbed your shoulder, “Listen here dummy, I don’t want to ever see you cry like this. Seeing you in this wrecked up state kills me too.” He then looked down at his feet, softly saying, “So just know whatever I do is because I want you to be happy, ok?”

Completely ignoring Mark’s question, you asked him, “Who was the culprit?”

He scoffed, “Did you even hear anything that I just said?”

You asked him again, this time with more seriousness, “Who. Did. This.”

Taken aback by your reaction, he replied, “That rich chick, Emily Ahn.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Are you serious...what is wrong with her?”

Mark looked at you with confusion, “You know her?”

Laughing, you replied, “Oh yeah. She made out with Jaehyun and then poisoned me.”

He looked at you as if you were crazy, “Wait and you’re still alive, how? And you’re so calm about this, why?”

“Becaus-” Suddenly the door opened and you both turned around to see who the guest was.

When you saw the familiar, wavy brown haired boy, you looked at Mark with shock.

“Oh my god, y/n. You scared the shit outta me. Are you ok?” Your brother dropped his luggage and ran in the direction of the couch, enveloping you into a tight hug.

“I-I’m fine... Why are you here? Weren’t you in LA?” You asked him, startled by his sudden appearance.

Mark confessed guiltily, “I was worried about you and Xiaojun was freaking out on the other end, so I had to tell him. Sorry...”

Your brother replied sarcastically as he unwrapped his arms around you, “As if I’m going to stay there when the media is bashing on my baby sis.”

Mark sighed and told Xiaojun, “Hyung, she just woke up. Just give her a break before we dive into the haters' situation.”

Your brother’s eyes softened when he looked at you, “Do me a favor sis and don’t look at your phone, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes, “Dejun, really? You don’t have to baby me, I get haters from my photography job all the time. Plus, you guys are a bit too late.” You waved your phone in the air and sighed, “I’ve seen everything there is to see.”

He sighed and gently placed a hand on your arm, “Are you ok sis..”

Mark tried his best to cover for you, knowing your brother gets too overprotective of you. He stood up and assured Xiaojun, “Please, do you actually believe your sister is that weak? She’s the strongest person I know, those haters don’t affect her. You got nothing to worry about.”

Even though you noticed Mark sounding a bit off, you gave him a small smile. You were grateful to have Mark on your side. He may be blunt at times, but no matter what, he always supports you and lifts you up at your lowest points. It’s been hard finding someone other than your brother to be there for you, especially since he’s always moving all over the world.

However, Xiaojun wasn’t dumb. He knew his little sister all too well. He also had Soyeon fill him in on everything that he missed. He knew that his sister acted tough and cold-hearted, but in fact, she is actually the kindest, most soft-hearted person in the world.

It might have seemed that he had always carried out his duty as an older brother, but supporting himself and you, his little sister, at the young age of 6 was nearly impossible. He wouldn’t have made it out sane if you hadn’t shown such consideration to his mistakes and personality.

Your brother was a person who likes to constantly move around. Never had he stayed put in one place, ever. Despite his tendencies, you followed him and supported him in everything he did. That’s how you discovered your passion for photography. You wanted to document every place you’ve been to and every memory you shared with him.

Xiaojun sighed as he thought of all the torment you been through. Yet, you still stay strong for him. He didn’t deserve you and he knew that, but it was his god-given gift that he could make sure you lived a life without worries. He got up and told you, “Let’s go sis. We’re getting far away from here.”

You chuckled a bit, missing your adventurous brother, “Ok, where to?”

He pulled you up and pushed you towards the front door, “First, we are revisiting our special place. Then, we are going to your house to get your belongings and passport.”

Stopping to turn towards Mark, he shouted, “Bye lil bro! I’ll keep you updated!”

Mark let a chuckle of relief, “Have fun, you two.”

~~~

You felt a wave of relief wash over you after leaving the playground that you’ve both often visited as children. Catching up with Xiaojun and his adventures made you realize why your brother does what he does. At times, you wished you could live like him. Whenever he felt upset or unhappy with himself, he’d look for self-improvement and content by visiting other countries and meeting new people. It was his way of coping with the abandonment of your parents.

But you were different. You always longed for stability. Yes, you wanted to live independently and free from commitments, but the longer you got to know Jaehyun, the longer you realized that stability can be offered even through the horrors of commitment. He made you realize that maybe your parents were just lost. They couldn’t offer you stability because they didn’t understand it themselves.

You felt stable with Jaehyun. You felt like everything bad in the world would disappear as long as you’re with him. However, you were afraid he wouldn’t feel the same way, especially after last night’s debacle.

Water started to fill the brim of your eyes as you closed your suitcase and headed to leave your apartment. You made Xiaojun wait in the car and hurriedly left, afraid you might bump into Lucas.

Your heart felt heavier and heavier as you got closer to the airport terminals. A part of you wanted to stay and run back to Jaehyun, but the memories of the ballroom and the media made you walk faster towards the gates. You told yourself that you can start over if you just follow Xiaojun. You can meet new people and start a new life where it doesn’t involve ruining the career of the man you love.

———

• This was rather short but still angsty. This isn’t soft hours, it’s sad hours *cue the evil cackling* •

• Stream BOOM 💥 •

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johannesviii · 4 years

Text

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2004

15 to 16 years old. A chaotic year for sure, but with a high quality soundtrack. So here’s a top ten list in which, as usual for that decade, several painful cuts had to be made.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

To provide the usual personal context, that year, being that-weirdo-in-the-back-of-the-class suddenly became great when OTHER people were also considered weirdos-in-the-back-of-the-class, and together, with a guy who kept falling asleep in class because he had insomnia, another guy who had elocution problems, and a girl who arrived directly from Cameroun in the middle of winter and was kinda depressed, we formed some sort of losers club and suddenly things weren’t so bad anymore. Unfortunately I completely lost contact with these people after highschool and that’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.

And then in September I once again ended in a completely different class in Terminale (equivalent of Senior Year in the US unless I’m mistaken) and made another great friend. So while life at home was still pretty bad, at least it was much better at school.

At this point my parents also stopped checking what kind of singles I was buying, which means that instead of this madness from 2003 where I had to hide some purchases with other ones...

...I only bought this in 2004 and the rest were actual albums.

Also, I found some old tapes and oh my goodness look at the label on this one. Late 2002/early 2003 at its finest right there. Kyo written with a typo, next to Eminem, next to Mylène Farmer. Love it.

With all of that out of the way, here’s a list of honorable mentions first. A very, very long list.

Yeah (Usher feat Lil Jon & Ludacris) - Thank goodness I thought this song was pretty cool, otherwise I’d have been miserable while listening to the radio in 2004.

Milkshake (Kelis) - Ooooooh daaaaangerously close to the So Bad It’s Good category.

Let’s Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas) - Don’t have anything to say, it’s a lot of fun.

Dragosta Din Tei (O-Zone) - This took like four more years to chart in the US but we heard it all summer here. And it wasn’t unpleasant at all to be honest?

Heaven (remix) (DJ Sammy) - Hang on, wasn’t this on the 2002 honorable mentions? Yeah but it took two years to chart here so it was elligible for 2004 as well.

Turn Me On (Kevin Lyttle) - A quality earworm that somehow isn’t annoying? Sign me up.

Call On Me (Eric Prydz) - Hey, look, another repetitive dance track in my collection of repetitive dance tracks!

What You Waiting For? (Gwen Stefani) - I think this is the only Gwen Stefani song that never made me turn the radio off after a minute. Pretty good.

It’s My Life (No Doubt) - Love the original. This version, not so much.

Parce Qu’on Vient de Loin (Corneille) - Favorite artist of my best friend that year. That song was so moving and well-written. Never got tired of it but never actively listened to it either. If I had better taste it would probably make the list.

The Reason (Hoobastank) - I thought this was ok and pretty nice if a bit bland, and didn’t deserve the success nor the hatred it got. However, thanks to the rock journal I was buying at the time which was like “hey, please listen to the album itself, it’s great!”, I followed that advice, listened to the album at the cd store and bought it instantly. If you dislike this song, please listen to the rest of the album, I swear you’ll enjoy it. Here’s the first track, Same Direction, to get a general idea!

Don’t Tell Me (Avril Lavigne) - Her second album was very good, wasn’t it? What happened to her in recent years?

Je Saigne Encore (Kyo) - This was the last cut (HA, get it? cut?? ok sorry that was terrible) from the list. While I loved it back in the day and while I’m willing to ignore how cringy some stuff I loved as a teenager can be now, I'm not willing to ignore how this is basically a song about a white boy being dumped for the first time and hurting himself because he can’t deal with the mere concept of jealousy. And I’m like “holy shit calm down dude and please drop that knife”.

And now, the actual list.

10 - Hey Ya! (Outkast)

US: #8 / FR: #41

Who’s surprised. Come on. Everyone loved it. I even bought the single! And to think I almost considered leaving it out of the top 10 to put friggin Kyo on it, of all things. The indignity. But yeah, I genuinely loved this. The only thing I can say against it is that it’s a bit too exhausting to be listened to on a loop.

9 - 100 Years (Five For Fighting)

US: #77 / FR: Not on the list

I only heard this a couple of times that year and never paid much attention.

Then I heard it again in 2018 right in the middle of a very, very bad year, after losing my grandfather, and it absolutely destroyed me.

It’s very, very good.

8 - Face à la Mer (Passy & Calogero)

US: Not on the list / FR: #11

Very overplayed that year. A delight every single time it was on the radio, though. Don’t have anything else to say about it.

7 - Modern Times (J-Five)

US: Not on the list / FR: #26

A hiphop song sampling a scene from Modern Times with Charlie Chaplin. It peaked at number 1 here! Not kidding! I bought the single after hearing it exactly once. It’s fantastic and I’m really sad time buried it like it did. If you’ve forgotten about it or simply never heard it before, please give it a listen, it needs more love.

6 - Hit My Heart (Benassi Bros)

US: Not on the list / FR: #74

Remember last time when I said I was a major sucker for Benassi Bros? Well this isn’t an exception. That is a killer drop right there. It looks great and dark and glittery all at once and, by the way, the sunny and summer-y music video completely contradicted how the song looked like in my ears, haha.

5 - My Happy Ending (Avril Lavigne)

US: #54 / FR: Not on the list

I’m not entirely sure what went wrong and when in Avril Lavigne’s career the shift happened, but a couple of years after that song her music got a lot less interesting. I may have enjoyed her first album Let Go a lot, but this song might just be her best one ever.

The sudden shift from “YOU WERE everything” to “HE WAS everything” near the end, in particular, is great writing. Love that.

4 - Left Outside Alone (Anastacia)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

Usually, voices, good or bad, have zero impact on me except when they border on unlistenable, or when they are physically painful to hear/look at. The guy from Muse for example has a voice that looks like the equivalent of a flashlight in the dark and it hurts, and I’m like dude. Can you please tune that down a little bit. Please.

This lady’s voice right there is fascinating though. Her voice is green and dark and it’s such a strange, rare voice I’m charmed whenever I hear it, and in this song in particular. This was on SO MANY of my tapes it’s not even funny. And the chorus is fantastic and a joy to sing along with even if you don’t have a good voice yourself.

3 - Orchestra (The Servant)

US: Not on the list / FR: #97

So we were on vacation, and they were giving away free cds at one stop. And I put the one I got in my portable cd player, and wasn’t that excited by the first tracks.

And then the fifth one started. And I was instantly captivated.

You already know I absolutely adored Placebo at the time (sadly, Protect Me isn’t elligible here either), and that guy from The Servant had a similar voice and the song was roughly in the same ballpark, and the lyrics were so, so weird.

There's an orchestra in me, Playing endlessly I even hear it now They play in the devil's key, An endless symphony I even hear it now And I listen to the music, Beautiful music Yes I listen to the music, Beautiful music

And, again, I’m terrible at describing sounds but the colors are so disquieting and there’s an unpleasant vibe except the song itself isn’t unpleasant? It’s so damn weird. And that band never struck gold again after that.

I still don’t know what happened or how all of this works. It’s a mystery. A very beautiful and curious mystery. This would have had a good shot at winning the #1 spot if it hadn’t been for [shakes fist] these other guys.

2 - Breaking the Habit (Linkin Park)

US: #79 / FR: #89

Only #2? Does... does that mean Linkin Park isn’t going to top my lists three years in a row? Holy shit, dodged a bullet there.

Should I really repeat my whole speech about Meteora. Should I really. Come on. It starts with the sound of a closing door, then broken glass, and then guitars explode in your face. The first line of the album is “sometimes I need to remember just to breathe”! Somewhere I Belong is one of my favorite songs from the band! I was trying to match the flow of Faint even if my English was still extremely shaky and my accent terrible!

And then there’s Breaking the Habit, which sounds almost pleasant compared to the levels of aggression displayed by the other songs. But it’s weirdly tense and stressful for that exact reason, because this relative calm sounds like a menace.

It works even better out of the context of the album, where it sounded a tad more aggressive than the average pop song, but still tense and stressful. And the music video is fantastic. I had it on a giant poster. I know I’ve kept it folded somewhere. If I only knew where it was, I’d show it to you. Covering up the (bright pink) walls in my room back then was a lot of work.

Edit: Nevermind. Found it:

Gotta say one thing though. At least they aren’t #1 for the third year in a row. What’s left of my dignity has been saved.

1 - Enjoy the Silence 2004 (Depeche Mode, Mike Shinoda remix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #89

Waiiiit a second. This was remixed by Mike Shinoda, wasn’t it. Mike Shinoda. From Linkin Park.

I guess Linkin Park IS topping my lists three years in a row in the end sdfghjhgfdfghjkjhg end me

But yeah. So. Enjoy the Silence tops a second list of mine, then. 14 years after the first one. I’m not gonna repeat what I’ve already said about that song. It simply got a brand new coat of paint, but still, even if it’s basically street art painted over a framed painting, what a masterpiece. Was genuinely gawking the first time I heard it on the radio.

And then Depeche Mode released one of their best albums ever the very next year, and it was the album of the year for me, and I became a big fan. So yeah, thanks for introducing me to their music, Mike Shinoda.

Bonus: I noticed my trusty old radio/cd player was in the background of a pic my brother took around that time! I miss that radio. It was pearl-colored and I had added stickers of birds and insects on it. So everytime I say “on the radio” in these posts, just picture this round little thing which was at the center of my universe back then.

Next up: Not the best song of the decade but pretty close

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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myspacetaeyong · 5 years

Text

A hope in spring

Character: Donghae/OC

Genre: Romance, comedy

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2783

Summary: After a lunch that didn’t go as expected, Donghae invites you to his dance practice. This time, things must go better.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Final

Today was the day you would finally date Donghae. Coincidentally, it was also the day you were supposed to meet him, Hyukjae, and Heechul at the dance studio – actually, just Donghae and Hyukjae. You agreed with Heechul that you’d go there together. And Heechul agreed to help you out with Donghae. So, today you both had missions; you wouldn’t lose your shit around Donghae’s dancing, and Heechul would help create the perfect environment for the confession.

You were just about to leave when your phone buzzed. It was a message from Donghae, followed by another from Heechul. You opened the first one.

“Hyukjae’s going to be a bit late :( So don’t hurry, ok? ^^”

Should I reply? I already read the message… He’ll know I read it. Must get advice from Heechul. You opened the message from the second sender.

“Guess what your love just texted me? The monkey’s gonna be late, which mean, I’m gonna be late. Shoot your shot, sunshine.”

“he messaged me too

I read the messag

what do I do?

do I repl?”

“I think that’s what most people would do, yes.”

“what do I say?????????

HE etold me `don hurry ok? ^^’”

“Tell him that you got his message, and leave anyway. When you get there act like you accidentally arrived early.”

“thank uuuuu ure my life saver”

“You owe me. Now text the man.”

Time to message Donghae.

“Okay ^^. Do you know how long he’ll be?” Is that too much? Will he think I’m desperate?

“Hopefully not too long :( I’m going to get lonely otherwise. And we need to practise.

But don’t worry!” He replied too quickly.

“I’ll see you, then. Do you need anything?” My heart, maybe?

“A support banner for me and Hyukjae? ^^

I’m joking.

Your presence is enough.” sjkdksjdkdjskldjadjadjkla

Time to go. If you hurry, you can get there in about 15 minutes. The dance studio is in this new, fancy building belonging to one of the biggest entertainment companies in the region. However, Donghae… and Hyukjae, were just choreographers. Had they been idols, they would’ve been critically-acclaimed, international artists. Naturally, such power had to be contained. That didn’t stop them from being too popular on social media. You heard from Heechul, who heard from either of them, that Donghae got asked for selfies and autographs when he went out sometimes. And you were pretty sure they had a fancafe.

It was nice outside. Not too warm, and not too cold. There was a gentle breeze that blew the petals to the ground. It resembled snow, but it smelled a lot better. Maybe you could grab some coffees for the boys, a token of appreciation for allowing you to see them dance up-close. You’d seen the videos they uploaded, but this would be different.

What kind of coffee do they like? You wondered, approaching the coffee shop. Americano, maybe?

Your train of thought was interrupted by the cashier. ‘Hello! What would you like to order?’

‘Uh… Three Americanos… and… that pink frappe special thingy? In medium?’

‘Sure. Three medium Americanos, and a medium Spring Frappe. Will that be all?’

‘Yes, yes. Thanks.’

Soon after you had your drinks. Maybe they all wanted a frappe? Should I have asked? Too late, I guess.

When you arrived in front of the company building you realised you missed one thing – you didn’t know what floor, what room, or how exactly to enter the place. You went to the front desk.

‘Hi…’ you gave the secretary a small smile. She didn’t return it.

‘Hello, do you have business here?’

‘Yeah, I’m supposed to see Donghae.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes…’

‘You’re the third person to try that today. Please leave the building or you will be escorted outside.’

‘But it’s true!’ you retorted. ‘I know him.’

She glared at you, and pointed at the door. So much for impressing Donghae. Guess you’ll have to call him. Ughhhhhh.

You went outside and called Donghae. It didn’t go through the third ring. He picked up.

‘Hey! What’s up?’ He was cheerful.

‘Hey… I got a bit of an issue. They won’t let me in the building?’

‘Oh, crap. I totally forgot to leave the name at the front desk.’

‘No, don’t worry about it.’

‘I’m really sorry, I’ll get you right now.’ He was worried. He felt bad. For me…

A few minutes later you saw Donghae running down a corridor, and stopping to speak with the lady at the front desk. He looked a bit… angry. He leaned over the desk, picked up a post it note, and wrote something on it. Then, he stuck it to her monitor. He turned to you, and sprinted.

‘Did you wait long?’ he smiled at you. At. You.

‘No, it’s quite nice out here actually.’ You raised the bag. ‘I got some coffee.’

‘Oh, wow. That’s super nice. Is this mine?’ he pointed to your pink frappe.

‘Yeah.’ You half smiled.

‘I’ve wanted to try this for days! Man, you completely read my mind.’

You would exchange all the coffee in the world for the smile he just gave you.

‘I guess I did, huh.’

‘Totally! Let me show you around.’ He paused. ‘Oh, let me carry these, ’ and took the coffee bag from your hand.

He put his soft hand on your back, and guided you to the lift. He took the first sip of his drink, and paused. ‘This tastes like heaven. Wanna try?’

‘Sure.’ He tilted the drink towards you.

‘What do you think?’ It was incredible. You had to get one for yourself later. A big one.

‘It’s pretty good.’

‘Have you noticed how you always use words like “a little, a bit, pretty” before describing something? It’s cute.’ He scrunched his nose before the last part.

Who knew he was so observant? And most of all, he thought you did something cute! Win.

‘I didn’t.’

‘You do, man! Freaking cute.’ Man? Does he… think of me as his bro? Is this… a bromance? The lift dinged. ‘Oh, we’re here. Come.’

Donghae motioned for you to follow him. ‘They moved to a new building, and the practice rooms are so nice. They put these laptops and screens, and you can cover the mirrors now. And they’re much bigger than before! And! We have a sort of lounge area in this practice room. Which means, you… can sit down! Isn’t it great?’

It was really cute when he got excited. Everything he did was cute, but this was extra cute.

‘Yeah! Fantastic!’

‘It’s nice that you get me.’

Donghae opened the door. ‘After you.’ He’s a gentleman too.

‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’ He smiled again. ‘So, that’s the couches. You can sit there. Or, you can sit on the floor if you want. But your butt will get sore after a while.’

‘I think the couches are just peachy.’

‘”Just peachy.” That’s cute.’ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

You sat where Donghae showed you, and he placed the rest of the drinks near your feet. He sat down in front of you; he crossed his legs, and leant back.

‘Isn’t this exciting? You’re going to see me dance for the first time!’ he tilted his head to the side. ‘I’m a little nervous too.’

‘Oh, is it because of me?’

He closed his eyes and laughed. ‘You’re a… different audience.’ He leaned forward. ‘But, tell me honestly, have you seen videos of me dance?’

‘I mean… I follow you on Instagram and stuff… I watch them sometimes.’

‘That’s funny, you see.’ Donghae smirked. ‘Because I noticed something.’

‘What’s that?’

‘You liked every single one of my posts on Instagram. And you watch all my stories too.’

‘Huh… would you look at that…’ You looked away. Donghae noticed, as he did with every other thing, it seemed. He got up on his feet. He got closer, and grabbed your chin. Gently.

‘Why won’t you look at me?’ he whispered.

‘Donghaeeeeeee! I’m her-‘ yelled Hyukjae. ‘Why didn’t you answer? I messaged you like-’

Heechul pushed him aside to see exactly what he had interrupted. Then he slapped the back of Hyukjae’s neck.

‘Ouch. Don’t you think that was unnecessary?’

‘Don’t push it, or I’ll make you unnecessary.’

Donghae rushed away from you. ‘You’re here!’ He looked down and grabbed the bag. ‘Look, someone got us coffee!’

‘Oh, sweet! I love Americano.’ Hyukjae took a sip. ‘Aah, so refreshing! Thank you!’

‘Don’t you feel more American now?’ asked Donghae.

Hyukjae laughed. ‘I feel like Bruno Mars, man’

‘I’ve been told I sing like him.’

‘Who lied to you?’ Heechul said. He then looked at you, disappointed. He grabbed his coffee from Donghae, and sprawled next to you on the couch. ‘Why don’t you guys start?’

‘I just got here, let me stretch.’ said Hyukjae.

‘Yeah, stretching is important. When we’re done, you’ll get the best show ever.’

The guys started stretching, so Heechul turned to you.

‘What happened before I got here?’

‘He told me that he knows I stalk his social media,’ you whispered.

‘We all know that.’

‘What?’

‘Literally everyone knows that you crush Donghae and stalk his Instagram, his Facebook, his Twitter-‘

‘Okay, okay.’

‘You think he knows you have notifications for his posts?’ Heechul raised his eyebrows at you.

‘Oh god… I hope not.’

‘I’m gonna ask later, don’t worry. That’s why Dr. Love is here.’

‘Please don’t call yourself that.’

‘You hate it because it’s true.’

You gave him a disgusted look, and Hyukjae caught that.

‘Funny, that’s exactly how I look at Heechul too.’

‘Listen here, you little-‘ Heechul was about to get up, but you grabbed his arm. ‘I’m not done with you!’ he threatened.

‘Get back to your story.’

‘I got shy and looked away and he grabbed my face and said “Why won’t you look at me?”’

‘He did what?!’

Donghae and Hyukjae turned to the two of you.

‘Don’t you have some stretching to do?’ said Heechul.

‘I mean, if someone hurt-‘ Donghae started.

‘No one hurt anyone. Just my brain cells.’

‘So it was one of us then?’ asked Hyukjae.

‘Careful, monkey man. I might start liking you.’ Heechul smiled back at Hyukjae.

‘Take me on a date somewhere nice. I’ll wear that T-shirt I borrowed.’

Donghae laughed at the exchanged. He loved it when his friends got along. He looked at you and smiled. Your heart melted.

Heechul waved his hand in front of your eyes. ‘Ground control to Major Tom.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Stop gazing lovingly in the eyes of your man.’

‘But smiled at me.’

‘He smiles at everyone.’ He shook his head. ‘At least you admit to staring.’

‘I don’t stare.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Is Hyukjae in on this?’

‘Slushie, if Donghae had more than one brain cell he’d know it too.’

‘Yeah, I get that. But is he in on /the mission/?’

‘He might be,’ answered Heechul, as he slurped his watered down coffee.

Donghae ran to you. He held out his phone, with Instagram running.

‘We’re going to start dancing, do you think you can livestream it?’ He gave you the cutest smile. His eyes were twinkling too.

‘Sure thing!’ Sure thing? God.

‘Film horizontally, people need to see our moves.’ yelled Hyukjae.

‘Okay!’ you yelled back.

‘I believe in you.’ said Donghae. He put his hand on your right shoulder, and ran back.

‘You too!’

‘”Enjoy your meal.” “Thanks, you too.”’ said Heechul to you.

‘I thought you came to help me.’

‘I will, but I can’t do much when they’re dancing.’ he whispered. ‘They invited us to watch them work.’

‘Fair point.’

You looked back at the screen and Donghae already had 10k people watching. It was incredible how many fans he had, for someone who wasn’t an idol. You weren’t the only one who liked Donghae, as you’d noticed time and time again in the comment section. Shaking off invasive thoughts, you turned your attention back to the guys, and made sure to keep the camera steady.

After finishing the dance routine, Donghae ran to you. He took his phone back and turned the camera to the front.

‘What did you all think? Was it good? We worked really hard to give you a good performance.’

‘Stan D&H! Don’t forget to stream.’ added Hyukjae.

‘I hoped you really enjoyed this! We have to go now!’

Donghae and Hyukjae quickly finished their goodbyes, and decided to take a short break. While Donghae was downing his frappe, Hyukjae offered you his hand. Naturally, you were confused.

‘Come on, I won’t bite.’

‘You’ve bitten me before.’ noted Donghae.

‘I’m just offering a dance.’

Donghae pouted. ‘You never offer me any.’

‘What are you talking about? We dance together all the time!’

‘We never slow dance!’

Hyukjae’s eyes doubled in size. ‘I wasn’t going to slow dance.’

‘Still, you never slow danced with me.’

‘We can slow dance if you really want.’ Hyukjae said, and raised his eyebrows.

Donghae smiled upon hearing that. ‘I do.’

Heechul looked at Donghae. Then, he looked at Hyukjae. Finally, he turned to you. Things were not going the way he wanted.

‘Are you going to do that now? Because, if we’re interrupting, we’ll just go’ asked Heechul.

‘Oh, we won’t slow dance now! But we wanted to show you the main dance.’ exclaimed Donghae.

‘So you’re just going to kick us out to dance with Hyukjae, is that it?’

‘I think “kicking out” sounds a bit harsh, don’t you?’ added Hyukjae.

‘But that is what you’re doing.’

‘We need to teach the kids the dance. It’s not like that, you know we love you.’

‘Yeah, we really love you!’ said Donghae.

‘Okay, okay. We’re leaving.’

‘You guys were great!’ you said.

‘Thanks, you’re great too!’ said Hyukjae.

He gave you a quick hug, while Donghae waved cutely.

‘Maybe we’ll host you again?’

‘You call this hosting, monkey man?’ asked Heechul.

‘I’ll up my MCing skills by next time.’

‘Yoo Jaesuk has nothing on you, Hyukkie.’ confessed Donghae.

‘We’re out!’ announced Heechul, as he waved his hand behind him, never looking back.

Before you left the building, you noticed the lady at the front desk glare. Heechul walked with you half the way home, as he suddenly decided he needed a haircut.

‘I’m gonna look even more beautiful, slushie.’

‘Didn’t know it was possible.’

‘Just you wait. I’ll talk to you later, okay? We’ll figure this whole Donghae situation out.’

‘You really think there’s something I can do?’

‘Worst case scenario he doesn’t like you.’

‘Thanks, I feel so much better.’

‘I’m not a motivational speaker, alright? I gotta run now.’

Later that day, you decided to message Donghae, and thank him for inviting you to rehearsal. You opened the app, and clicked on his name. Then you stared. You didn’t want to bother Heechul or your best friend yet. You could talk to him on your own this time. It would be fine.

“dear donghae,” No. Can’t write that. You deleted that.

“hey, are you done with rehearsal yet?” Does that sound too curious? You deleted that too.

“just messaging you to let you know that im thankful for inviting me to see you dance” Jesus. No. No. No. You quickly tried to delete that, but you accidentally clicked on the Call button. Well, shit. Before you could click End, Donghae picked up.

‘Hey! I wasn’t expecting you to call me. What’s good?’ said Donghae. He didn’t sound bothered by the phone call, which was good.

‘I didn’t mean to, sorry!’ You, on the other hand, sounded way too panicky.

‘It’s okay, don’t worry. It happens to me all the time. Sometimes I call and don’t even realise. Once time I butt dialled Hyukkie when I was on the toilet, and I wasn’t-‘

‘That’s fine! I don’t need to know! I have to go now, bye!’ you blurted, and ended the call.

I’ll just leave a message explaining, then hope I’ll forget this.

“I wanted to say thanks for inviting me to rehearsal. Sorry for calling.” Sent.

Donghae is typing… Already?

“It’s fine! I hope you enjoyed it. ^^”

“Yeah! I’m your biggest fan.” What did I just type.

“I think I might’ve seen taller. :D” Eye roll. “But, who do you think danced better, me or hyukkie?”

“you!!!” Did I reply too quickly?

“Heh, maybe you are my biggest fan. <3” HEART. HE. ADDED. A. HEART.

Your conversation with Donghae ended there. You went to sleep, hoping to dream sweet dreams of sweet Donghae. Little did you know that when you’d wake up, a spring frappe delivery from a certain someone would be waiting for you. One thing was certain, today was not the day you would finally date Donghae.

#donghae scenarios #donghae x reader #donghae x you #super junior scenario #donghae fluff #donghae oneshot #donghae fanfic #super junior fanfic #kpop fanfic #c;oc #r;pg #c;donghae #fluff

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thatyorkshireguy-blog · 5 years

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Familia & Regrets

According to my countdown i’ve had on my phone since July.....I have 11 days and 15hrs until I land in Chile (HOLY SH*T). Since my last blog post I’ve had to do so many goodbyes already and I have still many to get through! The closest family are the people I have seen recently.

(Fran came over in September to ‘face’ my mum )

I never thought i’d have any regrets because when you do have them, generally it’s too late to do anything about them. However over the years I’ve absolutely sucked ass at being a family member to my own blood. Never went to see my mum as much as I should, or the rest of the family as much as I should. I mean....i’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for Facebook, i’d forget half the birthdays in my life.

I don’t mean I have ever intentionally hurt them or would never do anything to bring them harm.... I love them. I’ve just never had that ‘MUST SEE THEM’ connection, or must pick up the phone every few days. My grandma & grandad came to watch pretty much every football game I played but when I hit my early 20′s ..... and when I stopped playing football as much, I stopped seeing them.

Perhaps too selfishly engrossed in my own world or more obsessed with other people. I can’t put my finger on it. My single biggest regret is not spending time with the people who helped make and shape me into the guy I am today. We see each other at Christmas, perhaps on a birthday or a special occasion, but very rarely have I visited them simply from ‘I miss you’ point of view. When I sat there with my mum, brother and his wife the other day, It just hit me like a tonne of bricks that I felt like i’d missed about 10 years of life without them.

When I went to see my mum she presented me with a bag with two gifts wrapped in Christmas paper..... “Merry Christmas Son..” she said.

This was the first Christmas In 35 years I am without my mum...my brother....my family. She genuinely looked so sad and this is where things flipped in my head and started to feel what she might be feeling..... I was her baby boy and I was going far away and she couldn’t do anything to stop me......just give me her well wishes. I could feel what she was feeling and this just made me break down. My mum is genuinely scared that when I get on that plane, she will never see her baby boy again!

However, the biggest emotional hit was to come. I’d missed a present in the bag, like the moment was set for 300% drama increase. My mum and my bro told me to reach into the bag again and open something I had missed. I opened the wrapping and there it was, a family album.

Every single page that turned was like an emotional punch in the face, memories coming back.... moments i’d forgot existed and moments i didn’t even realise happen or even captured. I previously had perhaps 1 or 2 personal photos of my dad but now I had many. It was incredible....amazing but it also made me feel a little angry and sorry that i’d not given more to these people when i’d given so much to other people in my life.

My Mum (Julie) & Dad (Dick)

These two as a couple were amazing. Always full of banter and constantly taking the pi** out of each other. I remember just being in awe of them when I was a kid because of how much they showed love to each other.

My dad was a painter & decorator & my mum worked at the primary school I attended.

Back when my mum was just 15, she had a horrendous accident where she was kicked in the head by a horse. She was in a coma....

What she had to suffer with for the next 10 years wasn’t pleasant. Unfortunately from the accident half her face was smashed up and she lost an eye and received some lasting effects in other areas. My mum had no sense of taste or smell. The poor woman also spent the years where most ladies are starting to really experience life, with people staring at her, calling her names and having to feel normal like everyone else.

What my mum probably doesn’t realise is how inspirational she really is, and only wish i’d shown her this more.

Can you imagine after this accident what she would least like to do as a career or hobby? HORSE RIDING right?

Well the crazy lady not only continued her love for horses despite the accident, she went onto be a fully qualified horse riding instructor for several years. I’ve grown up spending my times on farms with these powerful beasts who need to be respected but WOW was my mum both brave and just incredible for achieving what she did given the circumstance.

Unfortunately when my dad died......so did a huge part of my mum and I think this is the biggest reason I’ve distanced myself. My mum was depressed and in a way, probably still is. You never truly realise how much you miss or love something until it’s gone. I just struggled to cope with that sadness and be there for her how she probably needed.

My dad....well this guy was my hero. He was a proper man’s man who had a temper and didn’t hold back when dealing with things.

His friends called him Dick (His name was Frederick) - which as you can imagine going through school with a dad called ‘Dick’ was ....erm......fun.

Even better when people used to say “So.....Julie loves Dick??? Your mum loves Dick” Ok ........it’s funny!

Dicky boy was quite old in terms of going into fatherhood and was older than all the other dads, but he did his utmost to make sure I was looked after and entertained. He was my biggest fan and also my biggest critic. A Coventry FC football fan, and a lover of Pamela Anderson’s boobs on Baywatch! That was a proper Father & Son bonding programme hahahaha.

My dad always gave me and my bro two pieces of advice.....

1. Never date or marry a woman with horses - your life is done

2. Never date a woman with big boobs. You’ll have the endless struggle of both staring at them yourself and to watch the rest of the world look at them too.

Sage advice Father, but myself and my brother have chosen to ignore at least one of them.

I miss that man every single day and I only wish he could be alive to meet Fran and make my mum happy all over again.

Finally, i’ll get onto my brother, Shaun.

We are so very different in so many ways but at the same time so similar! Right now is the closest we have ever been, which again is a little sad given the time I’ve chosen to move away.

(Blurry drunken fun with Shaun last year)

When we became teenagers, it was clear that we didn’t get on that well. Because we have different interests and different personalities we clashed and it led to fighting over friends and time spent in local pubs (We lived in a tiny village where friends were few)

As I got into my 20′s I started to need my bro more and lean on him more when I needed advice or help. Like me.. he had quite a few relationships and experiences in his 20′s but then he met someone who turned his life around.

Shaun became a husband and a father figure to four young children. He might not have his own kids but he has played such a big part in making sure all four have turned out amazing. They all look up to him and have the most incredible bond. Shaun, if you read this..... you really should be proud of who you are and the guy you’ve become. Some blood fathers can’t do anything for their kids or won’t even see their kids, yet you’ve devoted time, money and most of all unconditional love to children that aren’t yours. You’re an incredible guy.

(Here’s my bro’s wedding and his clan from a few years back)

I am so very lucky to have this family around me and I deeply regret not doing more for them, but in turn I hope I can be just like them in what they’ve achieved in family life....and make them proud on my travels & in life.

Cheers to my family, and cheers to yours.

#chile #blogging #travelling #familia #regrets #myjourney #travelblog #adventure #family #southamerica #Doncaster #lifestyle #travelblogging #lol #vintage #follow #history #blogger #blog

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nairdde32 · 6 years

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He Just “Come at be Broed” You! A Guide to the Human Monk

I said I was going to do one of these for every character so here we go. As usual if you’re new to dnd, I would highly recommend watching “How to Play Dungeons and Dragons 5e – Intro” by Don’t Stop Thinking on YouTube. I will try and use as little jargon as possible so people who are new to D&D can figure it out. This week it’s everyone’s favorite disaster, Beauregard, the Human Monk.

Race: Variant Human

Technically (technically) there are two kinds of humans in dnd. There’s the normal boring human that gets absolutely nothing and nobody plays, and then there’s variant human. Variant humans get a feat! Why is that important you may ask? Well you see, in older editions of dnd, feats weren’t all that great. They were more like little level up bonuses. You needed a lot of them before they actually started making a difference. But in Fifth Edition D&D, Feats were drastically reduced. There are far less of them, and you get far fewer (to the point where they’re optional in the players handbook) as you have to sacrifice ability score increases to get them. But, they’re incredibly powerful now, some to the point of game breaking (anybody remember grog’s great weapon master shenanigans?). Because of how strong they are, being able to get a free one at 1st level is pretty fantastic.

The Deets

Ability score increase. +1 to two ability scores of your choice. While many will scoff, the fact that you can choose where to put them means that humans can be literally anything. Half-Elves have it better but still.

Skills. Free proficiency in one skill of your choice. Pretty good, but Half-Elves still have it better.

Feat. You get a free feat, so long as you meet the prereqs. If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of us salty Half-Elf players in the distance OH HEY THERE XGTE.

Class: Monk

The monk is a rather versatile class that focuses on big damage. They forgo any sort of armor in favor of mobility, and have a wide variety of abilities that make them good in almost any situation. They also have really high ac.

The feetsies.

Hit Points. You get a d8. This seems paltry, especially for someone who’s supposed to be a front line fighter. But hp doesn’t matter when you have a sky high ac and you can dodge like Neo.

Proficiencies. You get nothing. Ok that’s not quite fair, you do get a tool. Or an instrument, but like, don’t? Bards? Exist? That’s what they want you to think.

Unarmored Defense (1). Remember how I was talking about that big AC? Well this is how. With 20/20 in Dex/Wis your ac is 20. That’s the same as a fool in full plate & a shield! And you can run on walls, so that’s pretty cool.

Martial Arts (1). Congratulations, you are now (insert anime martial artist of your choice here). Your punches git gud, and only get better. The damage even applies to the weapons you’re proficient in!

Ki (2). This is your magic. You get “Ki Points” equal to your level, used to fuel various abilities. It doesn’t do a whole lot at first (besides turning you into Neo, and making you Star Platinum, ok maybe it does do a whole lot) but there are a few nifty tricks you can do later.

Unarmored Movement (2/9). Become sanic. And later, become hardcore parkour! A lot of people forget you can run on walls/water at 9th level.

Monastic Tradition (3). You can now choose to become one of the following: Kenshiro, Ezio Auditore, Aang, Jackie Chan, Ahsoka Tano, SSGSS Ultra Instinct Kaio Ken x20 Goku, Edgy or (if you have the Tal’dorei Campaign Guide) a Librarian. Beauregard has chosen to become a librarian.

Deflect Missiles (3). You can now catch arrows. Need I say more?

Ability Score Improvement (4/8/12/16/19). You get five, same as everyone else sans fighter and rogue. Standard rules apply, moving on.

Slow Fall (4). You can reduce falling damage by a decent amount. Useful for when the wizard didn’t prepare feather fall, or you don’t have wings.

Extra Attack (5). You now attack twice. If you’re using a weapon (which you should be unless you’re Goku), it now become twice as good.

Stunning Strike (5). Stun on demand. For those of you who don’t get how powerful this is, if you’re stunned you auto fail dex saves. Disintegrate requires a dex save.

Ki-Empowered Strikes (6). Your unarmed attacks are now magical. Useful for the levels when you’re starting to encounter bigger foes that are immune to normal attacks.

Evasion (7). One wordy explanation later, you are now immune to fireball. Identical to the rogue feature, and NO you don’t have to actively use it. This isn’t uncanny dodge.

Stillness of Mind (7). You can use your action to not be scared. Alright then.

Purity of Body (10). Complete immunity to poison and disease? Yeah that’s good.

Tongue of the Sun and Moon (13). You understand everything and everything understands you. Who needs language when you’re a literal universal translator!

Diamond Soul (14). You have proficiency in all saving throws. All. Saving throws. And you can reroll failed saves so long as you have the Ki. Hooooooooooo BOY. That’s good.

Timeless Body (15). This walking disaster doesn’t need food or water and basically is immune to old age. How? Just become a Monk 15.

Empty Body (18). “Non-concentration invisibility for one minute plus resistance to most damage that doesn’t go away when you attack can be yours, for the low low price of just FOUR Ki points! Call now and we’ll throw in the ability to astral project!”

Perfect Self (20). Roll initiative, acquire Ki. Getting back Ki points when you need them but don’t have them is pretty good.

The base monk class is a sold chassis for some pretty fun and creative subclasses (but everyone goes Open Hand because memes). It has everything a damage focused martial character could need and just a little bit more.

Subclass: Way of the Cobalt Soul

A brand new subclass appearing in the Tal’dorei Campaign Guide, the Way of the Cobalt Soul is based on the Monks of the Cobalt Reserve. Joking aside, it is a rather powerful subclass, especially in a campaign where there’s significant homebrew. Which is Critical Role in case you couldn’t catch my meaning. The good stuff:

Mystical Erudition (3). Get more languages and spend Ki points to get advantage on knowlage checks. “But Beau already gets every language!” No, she can understand all languages. Learning a language means you can read it too. Which is really important when your DM writes everything in celestial.

Extract Aspects (3). When you hit someone with multiple attacks you can spend ki to learn several key pieces of info. Really, really good when your DM homebrews everything.

Extort Truth (6). You get a mini Zone of Truth at the cost of ki. Still requires you to land multiple attacks, though.

Mind of Mercury (6). You have more reactions each round based on your intelligence. They require Ki points though, so if you’re not careful you’ll exhaust yourself before you know it.

Preternatural Counter (11). If an attack misses you, you get to attack back. Synergizes nicely with other monk abilities.

Debilitating Barrage. For the low low price of three Ki, you can give something disadvantage on attacks until the end of the next round, and you can select a type of damage that they’re then vulnerable to. If you have a rogue in the party who uses a certain damage type (like piercing) that’s pretty good.

I never knew librarians were this badass. Huh. Remember kids, make sure to turn your library books in on time.

#Beauregard #critical role #critical role spoilers #Human Monk #Way of the Cobalt Soul

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the-last-magpie · 7 years

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“Lincopia, you’ve got mail” A Ghost Fanfiction

So: this is a very light kind of fanfiction. It is based on the daily life of the members of the church (ghouls, sisters, brothers, papas, clergy), and it is set at the beginning of era III (yeah I know, sounds nostalgic but I had a lot of this stuff on my mind for months). This is meant to be humorous (with some romance in the future).

Why “You’ve got mail”?

Because this is a fic about the members of the church talking to each other about their sheningans and daily life through messages, WhatsApp or something. There are also some pieces of actual writing here and there, but I have to add, English is not my mothertongue, so I apologize for any mistake, of any kind. I hope to entertain you.

First Chapter.

Enjoy!

- 11.02 am

It wasn't his fault, and that was a concept well punctuated by the calmness of his stride, even if a little stompier than the usual, because, well, being in his actual position made him nervous after all. He already knew it: there was no one left in the chapel. He was late for sure, and the ceremony had gone without him, he, practically an ambassador for their image, and the new pope was around, and Sister Imperator too, probably left scolding at the air since, again, he had not been there.

Special sighed. There he was, hand on the big handle, heavy door ajar.

Just silence and emptiness.

"Uhh... This sucks".

- 1.17 pm

Message from Mist:

Special. Ceremony was great. You'd have loved that. The guy talks more than you do. You'll get along well. He won't skin you alive, don't worry. Probably just make you feel like he could though.

Message from Cat boy:

Very funny. I wasn't fooling around, I had stuff to do, a flight to take. The new Papa was informed. I'll go knock on his door later. But anyways, what did you mean by that? The skinned alive bit?

Message from Mist:

It's okay. He is ok. Well, I mean. He's not his brother.

Message from Cat boy:

Enlightening. Look, can we talk on WhatsApp? Who uses messages nowadays? Just install it. It's useful.

Message from Mist:

We have very different jobs kitty. I don't need WhatsApp. Also weren't you going to knock on a door? What, you need a push?

Message from Cat boy

Thank you very much Mist. On my way.

PS: DO NOT CALL ME THAT.

Message from Mist:

Love you. ♥

PS: bring the lube.

Message from Cat boy:

...what?

- 5.38 pm

When Special walked out the office, he stood still two steps away from the closed door, very quiet, very collected. Looking into space. He looked down at his hands, now full. There were his new robes. Very much practical indeed, and he had already seen them some weeks ago when he himself helped the sewing department, launching some ideas. The mask, that was Omega’s idea.

He looked away, sensing the calmness of the twilight, when people retired from the greenhouses and the fields, the various offices, the library, and showering or maybe simply taking a rest before dinner. He listened to that, the silence, recalling the previous minutes. The man was… he had no idea. Mist had been right. He was not his brother. He seemed cheerful, not so talkative as stated, very stern sometimes, but always with a light, imperceptible smirk at the corner of his lips. He had tried to make him uncomfortable, Special was sure of that. Didn’t even mentioned the fact that he had missed the ceremony for his election. The pope had stared at him, looking him in the eye, with that mix of unknown intentions behind his mismatched ones, and then went straight to business.

So he sighed. Alpha would keep doing interviews, of course. Maybe one, or two every century, by the sound of it. Omega was in charge of a lot of things, and always moving around departments because he was that charismatic. So sure, he would help Special.

But Special was now officially in charge of everything connected to the public. He would be the first in line at concerts, at promotional events, radio interviews, normal interviews, every interview. He would talk to companies, bands touring with them, some lesser members of the clergy (because the big pieces were for Papa, of course) and simply do everything that connected with the core of their engine. He started counting the number of plane he’d have to meet closely from that moment on.

He started walking towards the dormitory, very determined to just fall face deep in the mattress and woke up the next century.

- 7.22 pm

WhatsApp Chat Group: Feel Ya Sista

Lumia: Guuuuurls

Maery: what?

Lumia: Are you done with the dinner? WE HUNGRY HERE, you know.

Ambrosia: oi, let us work. you’re not the only ones that do things in here, YOU KNOW.

Lumia: I plow the soil from which your damn food comes from. Chop chop.

Mitra: SHUT UP LUIAMN

Lumia: ??

Ambrosia: do you grow cheese from that soil? ham? entire cows? last time I checked, those grew from the truck of the dairy we actually buy from.

Valeriana: Also, let us work. Cirice told us Papa himself is going to dine with us in the hall tonight. We are pretty under the gun rn.

Lumia: NO WAY.

Maery: eh

Lumia: Wtf is the world going to end, this is a first

Era: my life is going to end.

Lumia: You alright?

Era: No. This morning I noticed a mistake I made on Papa’s alb. Every time he flapped that sleeve a year of life left me. The moment he’s gonna notice he gonna suck my very soul out of me.

Mitra: overreacting

Lumia: What mistake? I saw none

Era: I sewed too tight in a place.

Maery: c’mon

Era: AND THE MITRE TOO. The patch is too much on the right. HE GONNA KILL ME.

Mitra: OVERREACTING

Ambrosia: he’s nice, stop worrying

Era: HE HAS THE SAME BLOOD OF THAT MUSSOLINI IN HIM. HE’S A TICKING BOMB, I TELL YOU.

Valeriana: Girl, you talked to him for 30 seconds.

Era: Is there some wine left yes? Because I need it.

Maery: yeah

Ambrosia: i’m turning off my phone. work. see you all at 8.

Era: Don’t leave me…

Lumia: I’m still here

Lumia: Nope, nevermind, I actually have to go to the toilette

Era: Can’t you bring your phone in there?

Lumia: I use it for music

Maery: era stop, or i’ll send scary omega to your chamber

Era: …that isn’t exactly a threat. I fyou know what I mean…

Valeriana: Lmao.

Rita: uuhhhmmm

Rita: girls

Maery: yeah?

Rita: talking about subtext…

Maery: yeah?

Rita: …is it okay if I say I wanna bang him?

Valeriana: Bang WHO.

Lumia: Omega?

Rita: nope

Ambrosia: RITA NO

Lumia: Werent’ you turning off your phone?

Ambrosia: RITA NO

Ambrosia: NO

Ambrosia: wait AT LEAST a week. Ffs.

Maery: also ew

Rita: ok.

Maery: imam send you scary imperator to your chamber

Era: THAT INDEED IS A THREAT.

Ambrosia: ENDING ALL TRANSMISSIONS, NOW. SEE YOU AT 8. BEHAVE, OK? Y’ALL HEATHENS.

Maery: yes ma’am

Lumia: Toilette

Era: dying

Rita: ok.

Rita: …

Rita: …a week is a lot

Ambrosia: RITA NO

- 8.29 pm

Alpha: Dude, where are you?

- 8.37 pm

Alpha: Seriously.

- 8.43 pm

Alpha: OMEGA the new Papa is here with us. Where the fuck are you?

- 0.31 am

Omega: Bro, I was busy. I am always busy. What’s the matter. Special missed his ceremony, I missed dinner, so the real loss here is that I’m hungry as fuck.

Alpha: What was so important?

Omega: Fucking haunted trees? You know, those who started slapping people with their branches last week? One of them lifted a root and was trying to actually take a step.

Alpha: Are you high?

Omega: I wish I was.

Alpha: SERIOUSLY.

Omega: Look, this place is a mess. We are not just some campy satanists, we attract some attentions.

Alpha: So what, local flora is pissed off because we worship the big bad guy?

Omega: Most likely someone enchanted things. But it’s okay now. I had to work with that nerd of Brother Euthanasia, just because Imperator couldn’t make a bad impression on our CEO.

Alpha: That would explain why she was so edgy all dinner.

Omega: And when exactly she is not.

Alpha: Whatever.

Omega: Besides, was he pissed?

Alpha: He didn’t even notice.

Omega: So what.

Alpha: MAYBE he just looked not pissed.

Omega: Tomorrow I’m gonna buy him flowers and take a knee okay? Or maybe next time I’ll invite fucking trees at our table so we can go all Isengard with that.

Alpha: Dude, chill. Or eat. You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.

Omega: FUNNY.

Alpha: Yeah. Take a rest, you big idiot. Tomorrow we have to do things.

Omega: And don’t I know that.

Alpha: Take a rest. Love you.

Omega: …gay.

Omega: …Love you too.

(All original characters belong to the band Ghost.

OCs are mine.

Feedback and critics [corrections too if needed] are always appreciated!)

#the band ghost #ghost band #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus ii #nameless ghouls #fanfiction #sisters of sin #brothers of sin #clergy #ocs #humor #probably some romance in the future #and maybe some actual plot #but very light for now #but the format will be the same #papa emeritus i #and maybe some papa zero

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warmau · 7 years

Text

{Special}College!AU x K.A.R.D

no one asked for this,,,,but i love them,,,,support don’t recall + ohnana!!!!

J.Seph

major: poetry

sports: swim team

really wanted to join the poetry club,,,but he got to shy to show up to the first meeting and jiwoo was trying to drag him into the room but he was like noOOOOOooo

for a literal poetry major,,,,,,,,he never has the nerve to share any of his stuff out loud. there was a poetry slam night on campus and everyone was like you should enter!!!!! but he like,,,,,couldn’t and in the end somin went up and read his work and it was BEAUTIFUL and everyone was like “you have such talent!!!” and she was like um,,,,,,,i didn’t write this it was - but when she tried to point him out it turned out he just fled and somin’s like dammit i thought jiwoo and matthew would keep him put

as shy as he is,,,,he still has a really nice aesthetic going on. very simple, casual but still fashionable and people always ask to take pictures of his outfit and face and he’s like ,,,,um,,,,,,,why,,,,,,,,,and they’re like “do you have instagram???” and he’s like yes but i don’t really use it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

everyone thinks he’s hot but he’s oblivious to it basically

all his poems are about ,,,,, like ,,,,,,,,,, love,,,,,,and nature,,,,,,and like,,,,,,,crying in nature because you’re in love

he’s actually super emotional and deep but no one ever gets to know him because he’s really shy and tries not to talk much

even the members of his swim team are like “bro, you should tell us like your hobbies or your ideal type” and j.seph is like “,,,,,,,,,breathing is nice,,,,,”

and you had one class with j.seph on prose poetry,,,,,and even though he never shared out loud in class you had to do a group critic and ever since you read his poetry,,,,,,you had basically Fallen in Love

with his style, his flow, his choice of words,,,his voice in his poems is so strong and beautiful that you felt like you were looking at a painting and not words on a paper

and you’d begged him to submit something to the campus art journal but he had declined and it had left you heartbroken

but you didn’t give up,,,,even after your classes if you’d see him you’d be like !!!! hi i was wondering if you changed your mind-

but he’d just shake his head shyly and tell you that really, he couldn’t publish his work in the journal

and for a while you’d try to bug him when you saw him but you didn’t overdo it

and at some point you had to give up because you didn’t want to come off creepy, even though you really at least wanted others to read and feel what you felt with his poems

and at some point you end up sharing a study table with somin and you know her as one of j.seph’s only friends and you’re like “hi,,,,this is going to sound weird but is j.seph,,,,,,,,,,not an open person?”

and she looks up from drawing and she’s like hmm what do you mean

and you tell her about the experience you had with his poetry and suddenly she seems really interested and she sets down her pencil and she’s like wait here!!!!

and about twenty minutes later she comes back holding a notebook and she’s like “ive had this for a long time, but it’s a poem i read by j.seph at a poetry slam a while ago. it’s the only poem i have of his but!!!! you could maybe publish it??? i really want him to be recognized by more people as a poet!!”

and you thank her and get all excited as you leave the building because omg the editor of the journal is going to LOVE it but then you try to read the poem,,,,,,,,,but you can’t bring yourself to do it,,,,,

like the words are right there waiting but you feel horrible because,,,,,you didn’t get j.seph’s consent. and it feels like you’re stealing from him

so you decide that you can’t publish it, instead you search the campus for him so you can return it

and you find him sitting on the steps outside of lecture hall and he’s writing aimlessly in his notebook and you’re like “um excuse me-”

and once he sees you he’s already like ‘im sorry, but i-” and you’re like i don’t want to bother you, but your friend gave me this ,,,,,,it’s yours though so im returning it. i didn’t read it by the way,,,,,

and when he takes the paper cautiously, opening it up he’s a bit shocked and he’s like “,,,,,,,it’s my poem” and you’re like yes and he’s like “wouldn’t you want to read this - you’re always asking me to show you my writing” and you shrug and you’re like “im asking you because poets should want to show off their writing. i have no right just looking at without your permission.”

and with that you bow your head in a goodbye but as you turn you suddenly feel his hand wrap around your wrist to stop you and you look over your shoulder

and j.seph is like “,,,,,,,,,,,,if you want,,,,,ill let you read this one.”

and your eyes light up and you take a seat beside him in such a hurry that you don’t notice that your so close your knees are brushing and you begin to read muttering the words to yourself

and j.seph is feeling a bit hot under the collar because you’re close and also reading,,,,,his work

and it’s a bit much for someone kind of closed off like him but when you look up all you can tell him is that you’re speechless. again. like when you first read his stuff

and j.seph’s ears turn red and he’s like AH don’t,,,,say that

but you point to a line and you’re like i love this!

and that’s how you end up spending like two hours sitting there talking about this one poem and somehow j.seph can feel your sincerity and that’s all it takes for him to open up to you

and before either of you knows he’s showing you more of his work

and only when you realize it’s getting dark out do you get up

and j.seph is like shyly,,,,,,,,like “i don’t know about publishing these in the journal,,,,,,but id love to show you more of my,,,,,,,,poems,,,,,”

and you clap your hands and you’re like yes!!! please do!!! and your smile makes j.seph’s heart beat

and your first date is basically at a cafe sharing some sweets and you gushing over his work and j.seph getting even more shy

but also loving the feeling of,,,,,,having someone admire his poems

dating college!j.seph: staying inside all day at a library or study room and working silently on your separate projects but secretly holding hands under the table, delicate kisses where he holds you like you’re made of glass, book shopping dates, getting teased to death by matthew till both you and j.seph are flushed red, matching couple tees, sharing a drink and j.seph still getting worked up about a public indirect kiss LOL

BM (Matthew)

major: health law

sports: has tried all of them and has gotten bored of all of them so he just knows a bunch of athletes and is friends with them. like him and jackson from the fencing team and amber from the women’s basketball team,,,,,,but also jae from the schools band LOL

got into law and it was a shocker for like eVERYone because isn’t he just,,,,,,,the jock stereotype who should major in something like nutrition or physical education

but nOPE matthew is seriously passionate about law, especially health law that has to deal with reproductive rights and drug safety. like he seriously just doesn’t understand why people are so hellbent on having control of other peoples bodies or making a certain medication highly addictive just to freakin suck money out of people LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD

and everytime they have to study cases for papers or tests he literally seathes with anger and asks the teacher 30243 questions that usually just come down to “matthew, the law let them.” and matthew is like not to sound like a law-anti but the Law IS Stupid. All Governments are Shit

everyone in the class:

the teacher:

matthew who is now standing on the table with the crumpled case in his hand: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ill just sit down now

but his passion is a good thing because law can get boring and dense, but he’s so amped up about it because he needs to know what’s the best way to help people not get wrapped up in trouble,,,,and be able to keep their damn human rights

he also works nights at a popular bar off-campus and his friends are always there (the boss loves it because the $$$$$ comes piling in. also matthew is,,,,,,,,Hot,,,,,,,,there are many people just there to appreciate his looks so hey even more $$$$$$)

but matthew also gives out free drinks like his life depends on it and dabs everytime a customer compliments him like what friendly giant tbh

also let’s all take a moment to hold hands and think of matthew in a cute bartender outfit ok moving on

when he has time he works out at the campus gym but it’s always at super super late like 3-4 am when he gets off work

and you also happen to work out at weird times because thanks college for draining you with studying and the only time you have that’s free is the middle of the night

and you notice matthew, it’s hard not to as he’s standing over six feet, and you think “oh someone else is suffering with me”

but halfway through your run on the treadmill you make a very big mistake,,,,,,you look over and see matthew doing push-ups with one hand, and then switching without getting up to the other hand,,,,,,and the way he looks

cut-off sleeveless tank, loose basketball shorts and sweat running down a chiseled jawline you damn near trip over your own feet

because okay,,,,,,,,he’s hot,,,,,,,,

and you’re like no no focus on the work out but it’s impossible,,,,,,,because when you look back you see him lifting weights, his back big and wide, the muscles strong in his arms and you’re damn near drooling honestly

and this goes on for like two weeks because everytime you show up to work out,,,,it’s like 3:19 am and it’s just you two and matthew smiles and greets you and then starts working out and you can’t not watch,,,,,,,,,it’s like addicting

and at one point you’re like whatever and as you see matthew finishing up you drop your jump-rope and you’re like “hey can i ask you something?” and he turns around with his usual smile, wiping the sweat from his neck and he’s like “sure!” and you’re like “let’s make out, if you want, like right now”

and matthew’s eyes go wide only for a second because he drops the towel from his neck and smirks and is like “i thought you’d never ask”

and that is how you end up making you in the empty campus gym and matthew is as good as a kisser as he looks,,,,,and he’s good at other things Which I Will Leave Up to You to Imagine

and as you’re leaving,,,,,,the sun rising slowly on the campus you’re like “um,,,,,,,see you again soon?” and matthew is like “you know it!”

and you two make out every time you see each other which is like 3 times a week at the gym and it’s great and it’s fun

but also you talk,,,,,,,and matthew is hilarious and not afriad to embarrass himself and oh shit this is going from a hookup to a crush

and you’re super scared about telling him,,,,,because he’s so,,,,,popular what if he already has someone else,,,,,someone better in mind

and you don’t want to ruin the great thing you have going (great thing being physical only) and you’re like telling yourself to not ruin it

until you’re sitting in matthew’s lap and suddenly he pulls back from your kiss, arms slipping from under your shirt and he’s like “listen ive been thinking, we never meet up outside the gym and i wanna introduce you to my friends-”

and you’re like wait hold up he’s talking like we’re,,,,,in a relationship

and matthew can see the confusion on your face and his smile drops and he’s like “unless,,,,,,,,,being something serious is uncomfortable for you?” but you shake your head so much you’re scared you might crack your neck but you’re like “no!!! i do want to be something serious, i was just surprised i thought you’d ,,,,,,,,only thought of this as something on the side”

and matthew grins and he’s like “no way, i don’t make out with just anyone. also you’ve seen my - well,,,,,,,,you’ve seen big matthew and that’s nothing something many people can say”

and you’re like oh my god did you just call- whatever, yes id love to ,,,,, meet your friends and do some stuff??? together??? like dates??? and you and him are grinning like idiots in love hehe

dating college!matthew: long snapchat stories of you guys being a cute couple and trying out new resturants or going to the amusment park and buying matching headbands, wearing his big clothes, couple work outs, matthew always using your legs as his personal pillow, wild parties where you both get tipsy and spend an hour debating who grinds better and making a very embarrassed j.seph the judge, being silly dorks that are super touchy and pda is at an all time HIGH, couple rings

Jiwoo

major: neuroscience/pre-med

sports: women’s lacrosse

she is FIERCE and nothing scares her. not the other lacrosse teams she has to face. not the judgmental looks people give her when she says she wants to become a neurosurgeon. not the way people snicker and point out her bold sense of fashion

she’s her own person and she makes it known, because she’s a hardworker and she’s going to get into the top med school in korea just freaking watch her

and she’s gonna do it wearing fishnets, a motorcycle jacket, and heavy army boots like who said all girls have to dress a certain way??? and yes that’s a tattoo on her upper-arm like what are you gonna do about it????

matthew is always like holding jiwoo back from getting into fights at the bar he works at because if some guy as much as whispers something nasty/disrespectful/just plain gross under his breath about her or any girl in the vicinity she’s up and ready to throw hands

and matthew literally just wraps his arm around her torso while she’s kicking and going “let me GO” and he’s like “ow ow ow you’re so strong ow ow but thank god you’re short OW DID YOU JUST BITE MY ARM”

but she really studies super hard and she knows her stuff and the teachers love her,,,,,because she’s always the first to be done with her work and she really genuinely wants to be a surgeon to help people

,,,,,,even though some of them are like “why,,,,,do you dress,,,,,,,so,,,,,” and she’s like “because i like it. what does that have to do with cognitive brain disorders? why does my appearance have anything to do with my passion and talent?” and the teachers are like ok ,,,true,,,,,,

you really look up to her because she’s so outspoken. also she makes even the scariest older classmates grovel at the knees like for instance pre-med ken made the mistake of cracking a joke about jiwoo’s resting poker face and she was like “coming from you who can’t even keep still in his seat for more than three seconds like some kind of over-energized rabbit, i don’t see whats so funny?” and ken was like i got it i Will Shut Up Now

and you see her a lot hanging around the computer lab of the library, probably to work on her labs and stuff and you don’t think she even notices you

because she’s always bickering with matthew or laughing with somin but,,,,,,,one day when you peek over you end up making eye contact

and you hide right away behind your hair because oh no she saw,,,you

but it’s too late and you can hear her boots marching across the floor and you feel the tap on your shoulder

and jiwoo literally spins around your computer chair and is like “heY,,,,,do you want to say something to me? you always stare at me funny? is there a problem”

and you’re like UH,,,,,,,turning redder by the second and matthew is already sighing across the room and getting up to get jiwoo but you just mumble out that no,,,,,no problem,,,,,,,you just think she’s really pretty

and the whole room turns to look at you two because oh god,,,,,,you just called jeon jiwoo pretty??????? no one has ever had the guts to approach her let alone,,,,compliment her

and you’re like This is The Day I Die but jiwoo,,,,,just clams up and she opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out and she’s like uh uh uh,,,,,,,,,,wh,,,what did you say?

and you’re like “im sorry please don’t be mad i think you’re really pretty and cool so i can’t stop looking at you but it’s nothing mean or hateful please omg,,,,”

and jiwoo puts her finger to your lips and you’re like oh no im dead but is?????? is she blushing and she gets up suddenly and she’s like “let’s,,,,step out.”

and you follow her out of the computer lab down to a bench outside on campus and you’re shaking with nervousness but jiwoo won’t look at you and she’s just like,,,,,,,,,,,

“ok,,,,,listen i have never been confessed to so this is weird but,,,,,is it true,,,,,,” and you’re like ??????? what and she’s like tucking her hair behind her ear trying to seem uninterested and she’s like “that you think im pretty?”

and you’re like “yes of course, i’ve thought it since i first saw you,,,,i think you were giving an underclassman his lunch back when someone stole it from him??? i thought you were so cool and so cute-”

jiwoo: “cute?”

you: “y,,yeah cute, pretty, beautiful,,,,,,,you’re all of that to me.” and this time you’re 100% sure she’s blushing

and suddenly jiwoo is like “are you free tonight?” and you’re like um yes why and she’s like there’s going to be a party at the bar matthew works out,,,,,,,do you wanna come ,,,,,,,,,,with me?

and you’re SPEECHLESS because is this HAPPENING RN and jiwoo is like “give me your phone. im gonna give you my number.”

and that night you meet up with jiwoo and the j.sep + somin outside of the bar and jiwoo is like “stay close, ok?” and you’re like holy,,,my heart is beating so fast

and you’re kinda shy but jiwoo is like “let loose, c’mon!!” and as you’re dancing together she grabs your shoulders and pulls herself closer to you and you’re like ghldjsfgfdf and she’s like “try to look a little happier - you said im pretty right, and now im dancing with you, isn’t it amazing?”

and you’re honestly starstruck you’re like “yes, im so happy. i feel blessed”

and jiwoo playfully pushes your arm but she feels this warmth in her chest because,,,,,,being so special to someone feels so nice,,,,,,

dating college!jiwoo: quizzing her on hard science terms you can’t pronounce, letting her try out makeup on you, laying upside down off the couch and watching horror movies together, pda making jiwoo shyer than usual, having jiwoo tell matthew that if he even DARES to make a move - she will shave all that hair off his head

Somin

major: interior design

sports: no time, she spends all of her free hours at her internship with a famous seoul furniture designer and she comes back to her dorm only to pass out on her bed, jiwoo always finds her without a blanket

originally was interested in fashion design, but people aren’t her strongest suit so she became more interested in making pretty things,,,,,,,,that didn’t have to be modeled on someone but instead,,,,,inside a house

finds fabric magazines more thrilling than gossip magazines

gives off a very mannered, but friendly field. she’s called a ‘goddess’ by underclassmen in the major because when she works she looks so pretty and concentrated and the way she handles cloth and drawing ,,,,,, it’s so like gentle

keeps two sketchbooks: one that’s tidy and clean for class and the other that’s a mess for her own ideas

likes working in soft pastels,,,,,,,,,,bright patterns annoy her. so when matthew shows up in his hawaiian print button downs she’s literally like Go. Change

her internship is really hard because she’s an assistant to this designer who thinks they’re a prodigy or something and is always making somin run around and do needless tasks and jiwoo is always like somin. i want to fight your boss

you’re also an intern,,,,but not to the designer but to their marketing team and so you always feel terrible seeing somin being nagged at or asked to go buy coffee for like the tenth time

and you think she’s really sweet,,,,and patient to never ever snap or say something mean behind the designers back

but you also worry because when finals come around you can see somin is skipping meals as she’s losing weight and keeps coming in with bags under her eyes

and you end up seeing her kind of stumble on her way to the kitchen in the designers studio and at first you brush it off that she’s just sleepy but you can’t just leave it at that

so you go to the kitchen to see if she’s ok and you see her???? laying on the floor????? passed out

and you panic, falling to your knees and getting her head in your lap and you’re like “somin??? somin???”

and you pull her up into your arms and stand up and you can hear her kind of coming too and you like get her over to a chair

and get a cup of water and some snacks and you’re like “somin, let’s drink this ok?” and very gently you get the cup to her lips

and she’s already like conscious but she looks so so so weak and you unwrap the snack and encourage her to take small bites

and when she’s done,,,,with a bit of energy restored she shyly tries to hide and she’s like “im sorry you had to see me like this”

and you’re like “somin,,,,,,,,,you should ask for a day off. it’s finals, i know how hard it is but you can’t torture yourself to this point.”

and somin nods but you know she’s not going to listen to you

but before you get up to leave, she thanks you and you’re like feeling your heart break because someone who does so much deserves a break,,,,,

but since she doesn’t want to take one you start to take it upon yourself to make sure she’s eating at the internship and you always give her fruits or candy and you’re like eat this on your way back to campus!!!!

and when finals are over,,,,you’re happy for you but also somin

and one day she comes over to hand you lunchbox she’s made herself and she’s like !!!!!! for helping me,,,,,,all this time

and you guys eat together for the first time and it’s kinda like an impromptu date and you even get her number

and you learn about somin’s passion for designing homes and you think she looks so cute getting excited talking about it

and when you walk together to campus one night,,,,,you feel her take her finger and lock it around hers and you both are giggling,,,,but it’s so cute

dating college!somin: having to remind her to take her sketchbooks because she always forgets where she puts them if she takes them out of her bag, forehead kisses while she’s working, sitting up until really late with tea and just talking about what makes you happy, bubble baths together on off days, having jiwoo get super protective over you two, somin always plays with your hair, you find out she secretly really likes to dance and you guys have a dance off in her dorm that matthew and j.seph walk in on,,,,,,,,,and then join it becomes a competition, telling her she’s doing her best and you know she is and that’s enough <3

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survivorbermuda-blog · 6 years

Text

TIM’S RITES OF PASSAGE PART 2

14th: Sean- R.I.P Sean. I'm sorry that I ended up voting you out but that was only because what I was telling you was being leaked. You are a really cool person and personally I liked you a bunch and wanted to work with you but its just that our goals and ideas didn't align. You were with your people and I was with mine and I think we were after eachothers allies. Before you left you said I was going to get played but I'm not banjo getting strung along or flute. I hope that there's no hard feelings and I hope to see that you're doing good.

13th: Aj- I finally finished watching Survivor Maryland All stars! I'm not sure of you care or not lol but it was really good and I enjoyed it. I'm glad that we found something in common that we could talk about, even if it was just for a little bit. I genuinely loved how unfiltered you were and how you would and could say anything that was on your mind and I respect that. I apologize for voting you out but I hope you understand that I had to in order to get where I am today. See you soon, well hopefully not too soon but one round after soon lol.

12th: Kage- Kage you had an incredible social game and you were phenomenal. Not to mention that you had an idol in your back pocket? Now that's real power. I want to explain if you allow, why I voted you out. You were essentially in the position that I wanted to place myself in which was right in the middle of things safe and sound. If no idols were played that round that I'm sure that I would be where you are and you would be here. I hope that you're doing ok and still as goofy as ever multiple shirt icon lol.

11th: Matt- Matt MOTHERFRICKIN Summers. Boi have you done an amazing job gamewise. You've gotten eliminated and cameback, found an idol and played it, and bounced back with a majority. That's extremely impressive. I really enjoyed playing the game with you and socializing a bunch with you and I still look forward to playing Fallout 76 with you! Im holding that to you lol. After Tee left I had to find someone else to love with all of my heart and it turned out to be you and Lily. Summers I wholeheartedly think that you're a kind soul and a wholesome and pure person and it sucks that I had to vote you out but I had to seperate my personal feelings from my game and flip on you because I knew I was at the bottom over there right along with Mak. I hope you can forgive me if I caused you any grief. I'm gonna close this out with some words from the heart: "In the chill of Fall and the warmth of Spring. And even in icey Winter. I'm always burning up inside because regardless of the season, its always Summer with Matt Summers in my heart". PS: So theres this game called Dead by Daylight that I LOVE and its free if you have Ps plus so download it so we can play after the game lol.

10th: Nick- Nick I just want to start off by saying believe it or not... your vote was the most difficult one that I've ever had to do. Not because we were oh so close or the best allies ever in this game, but because you came here to play the game and you stopped at absolutely nothing to do that. You were able to think critically and even attempt to work me, not one of your biggest fans at that time, all for the sake of the game and great gameplay. That following round after Matt left I talked and talked with you and I genuinely and from the bottom of my heart enjoyed it and it was in that moment I knew that I wanted to play the rest of the game with you. I had put aside all of our past differences and focused on who you were and how you thought and I found myself in that. Duncan, however was adamnt about sending you home and once again I had to seperate my personal feelings from my game and vote for you because Owen had immunity and I knew that you were in fact a threat. The only thing that allowed me to do that was when you told everyone the round before something along the lines of.. "Lets do this even if its for one round". I hope that you can see me for the player I am and acknowledge that our past differences had nothing to do with your voting out and I wasn't bitter. I do think that you're a good guy Nick and I hope that all you deal is a deck full of hearts ♡(get it because you're a poker dealer) and you land that gal you've been talking to. I respect and appreciate you mijo.

9th: Mak- Maksym!! Ah good ole Maksy boy! I'm very proud of you for returning to the game and making it so far. Although I only got to know you a little bit for the time you were here Im sure that you're a great young person with a bright future.

8th: Rodrigo- Before you left you told me "Fuck you and your little friend" and Im so sorry that you feel that way about me and I hope you don't hate me. I know that leaving the game after working so hard has to hurt severely badly. In reality I didn't even vote against you. But you know who did? The very same person who you were trying to save.. Owen. Who voted for you twice! As well as Duncan. I actually voted out RJ because I didn't want to flip on you even though you were trying to protect Owen. Besides that fact, I did enjoy talking to you while you were on vacation and out enjoying yourself and I felt like we connected over boys and videogames and stuff. I hope that I can see you again one day and forge a brand new great relationship thats unrelated to the game.

7th: RJ- Firstly RJ I am so sorry that you went home. I had no idea that you were going to go the round you had went out. But what I truly want to apologize for is not giving you a valif reason as to why I had voted for you on Rodrigos round. The truth of that matter is that I only voted you so that I could maintain the trust that I had formed with Christian and Jake and stay loyal to them but that would only happen at the cost of losing your trust and respect but I hope you understand that I only did that because the trust of two people seemed greater than the trust of one, who at that time was loyal to his allies down to a fault. Besides all of that, I look forward to buying something from Thread and helping out their cause as well as indirectly supporting you lol. I hope that everything is all good between us and that I can somehow fix what went wrong. Thank you for playing as wellas you did and being as great as you are.

6th: Jake- JAKE BROOOOO I had literally no idea that you were going home and I was PISSED as HELL that you left. I genuinely wantedthe 4 of us to be at the end together but Duncan went and fucked all of that up. I'm so sorry for not seeing that coming and stopping it. I really do appreciate you and your game though Jake. You were one of THE most loyal individuals this game has and you showed that time and time again you were trustworthy. I'm aware that sometimes I failed to do that and play as respectfully as you did but in the end I was loyal to you 10000% percent. Even though I was blindsided with RJ gone I still trusted you and knew that you wouldn't turn on me. All bitterness was absent from me but yk who (Duncan) took it upon himself to be SELFISH and maybe bitter and take you out. And in that moment even I, Tim, was blindsided. Not only was my game blindsided by who I thought was my closest ally but also my heart. Once you left I couldn't even see a path towards the end anymore and I felt completely lost and ready to get voted out but I knew that I had to keep fighting. Fighting for myself, fighting for you, fighting for all the little kids at your camp and fighting because.. fighting was all you ever did in the game, and boy were you quite the fighter and underdog. I hope that I can see you again Jake and play another game in the future with you maybe. I love you bro and I miss you in the game and at camp :'-).

5th: Lily- LILY you are one of my absolute favorite people that I've met in this game. Even though my game wasnt the most truthful and trustworthy, everything I ever told you was genuine. Every time I told you that I loved you was real. Every meme, from the heart. Even the cute Final 2 image I made still makes me smile inside today :-). I LOVED getting to know you and talking to you every day at the first part of merge and after Tee left you and Matt were like my absolute favvvvvvvorite people to talk to because you both were so welcoming and warm and just genuinely kind and inviting. I want you to know Lily that although we weren't able to hold up our final 2 and make it a reality, every single thing I said in that last moment and every second of me talking to you and wanting to make a move was real. I would never waste your time like that and make you hurt even more than what was already to come and anyone who would is disgusting and sick. I wished that we could have made something shake but I hope that you forgive me for playing with deciet and untruthfully. You're one of the last people I wanted to hurt and I'm sorry if I ever did and I understand if you never forgive me. I hope to talk to you after the game and still attend your wedding as Olaf if I'm still invited lol.

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youregonnasurvivethis · 7 years

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As of recently I've realised I need to change. I've been told by friends that i'm annoying and need to shut up. I've had other people say they heard my friends talking about me saying I'm too whingy and 'have it easy' that I shouldn't complain. This was in front of an entire class, despite not being there it's completely humiliating. It makes me feel awful. I shouldn't listen to others negativity but maybe I need to change. I don't know how.

Well, Anon, the thing about changing is that it could be for better or worse. The question is: are you ok with with you are right now? If comments like those didn't exist in your life, would you think your personality is good? If you're comfortable, that's all that matters. Part of growing up is realising that you need to change for the better BECAUSE you want it, not because it would be someone else's definition of "better". And the people that can't understand that have no room in your life. There's plenty of people out there who would be perfectly fine with who you are, flaws and all. If you're not ok with who you are and some of those criticisms ring true, then take a step back and realize what you want to change. Do you agree with what they say? If you feel like, for example, you're too whiny as they say, take a moment to think if this is true or not. Be honest with yourself. Then work towards a way to fix this. Same examples if you're too whiny as they say, maybe think about the things you "whine" about. Are you complaining about the weather or the news all the time? Or is it a major health issue or mental health related? Again, are you ok with how you deliver your complains in a conversation or not? Put yourself in someone else's shoes the next time you're in a conversation with someone. Think about how your words are delivered, pretend you just met you. What would you think about yourself? What would you change about yourself? What do you like or dislike about yourself? Hey, we all have a right to complain about our issues. It's not a competition to see who has the better right to complain or who has it worse! Personally, when I say, let's say, that I'm tried and someone comes around and tells me they've been up for 28 hours a day and had to chop down a tree with their bare hands and therefore they're more tired than me, I say Good for you, bro but I'm still tired nonetheless. Just because someone else COULD be more tired than me doesn't make ME less tired or doesn't make my point less valid. In my world, I'm the most tired! Hope that made sense. By the way, the fact that these people call you out publicly behind your back (you weren't present when they were criticizing you so..) is a horrible thing to do and that is never ok to do. There's way to deliver a critique or a comment without being rude or offensive. It's disrespectful. My personal recommendation would be to talk to them about how this makes you feel. I can tell it's upsetting to hear comments like theirs, and rightfully so, so they should be aware of how this affect you. If they care, they'll stop or change their ways (they, too, can change!). If they don't then perhaps it's time to move on to greener pastures. So Anon, if YOU want to change, go ahead. Make sure that you know what you want to change about you and why. Only you can figure that out. If you want to change because someone else is displeased with the way you present yourself but you're perfectly fine with who you are, then that's the wrong reason to change. Best of luck!

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gendermesenpai-blog · 6 years

Text

3:18pm

I just listened to 59 minutes and 51 seconds of the Kanye/Charlamagne interview while I was going through my key database and updating my contact information across my various accounts to include my new mailing address.

I feel like there is no proper way to react to Ye at this point - if you say he is full of shit and talking out his ass, you’re pretty much just a hater, you turned your back on Ye because that’s apparently considered the correct thing to do now that he’s out here wearing MAGA hats and talking about how slavery for 400 years was a choice. And the truth is that a lot of what he has been saying since he came back to public life in recent weeks makes a lot of sense, so if you refuse to acknowledge that and say no, it’s all bullshit, he’s lost his mind and reached a point of unquestionable irrelevance, the “end of Kanye” as people are calling it, you’re really just exemplifying the closed mindedness that Ye is criticizing.

Hold up, what? Is this real life? Am I serious? I don’t even know.

Because if you say he’s a genius and he’s making all the right moves right now, you sound like you just smoked PCP out of a 3 inch section of garden hose.

But I mean I just listened to the guy talk for an hour and only said “yo shut up Ye that’s stupid” one time. And I don’t even remember what it was now, because I can only really remember the stuff he said that was smart.

OK I am done talking about Kanye now.

Last night I performed my first show ever. First time performing my own music. I feel like I butchered it completely. It is really weird when you’re up there. Even if there’s only like 10 or 15 people. It feels way different than you imagine it would. But I fucked up a lot of lines. I had to restart one of the songs and still fucked up on the same part. I was much drunker than I had meant to be. I had been drinking since 3 and went on at 11 or something. And I had been smoking since at least 8. Idk, literally no one said a bad word about it. All of my friends and some complete strangers were saying how great I did. But no one can convince me that it was good. I feel terrible and cringy about it. Sick to my stomach in a way. But I still want to do it again? Is that stupid? I’m stupid.

There is video of it but the guy who is supposed to send it to me is slacking hard as shit. His fucking phone, holy shit - I tried for like an hour last night to get it to send the videos to me on like 3 different apps, Mega, Messenger, Youtube, none of them would upload the fucking videos. So he has to plug it into his computer and transfer them. He said like everyone else that I did really good, that I had fucked up a bunch of lines, but because none of them knew any of my songs they wouldn’t have known that from the way I performed it? I don’t know. I don’t see how anyone could’ve not noticed.

A funny detail he told me was that, like, ok my ex roommates and their weird Chicago friends were there the whole time, and apparently their plan was to fuck with me by clapping obnoxiously after all my songs, but because everyone was enjoying it so much and being so loud anyway, they couldn’t do it. I really, like, I keep going over moments in my head that I can remember where I like mumbled certain lines, or delivered lines at the wrong part of the verse and the adlibs were mismatched, or when I completely blanked and was just letting the beat play out. At one point I just shouted out my own beat. Hahaha. I was like “listen to this beat” lol and just waited for the next transition

I can’t even decide if I’m glad I went through with it. I guess time will tell how this affects my relationship with people. Specifically this one vet messenger we have on our squad who everyone looks up to seems very enamored with me right now. He made a big speech about how I’m an asset, and I’m part of the elite group or whatever, the privileged group of elites, and like, how I’m Baltimore now, and even if I leave, no matter where I go, I’ll always be Baltimore.

It’s so weird, I had basically just planned on being here for a while and just kind of surviving or whatever and then taking off and never contacting these people again, and I accidentally made everyone love me and respect me and want to have long-lasting relationships with me and shit. Well, not everyone obviously. But yeah it’s weird as hell. The big group picture we took at like 3 am last night when everyone was plastered drunk and coked out is pretty funny, I think I actually might pass as a girl in it.

No one has said a word about the changes, not my face or my tits. I think they still haven’t noticed. One guy asked maybe a week or 2 weeks ago if I shave my legs and I used a couple of the lines I had prepared. We were alone, I think I had shaved the previous day and so the hair was coming back in as spots and were visible enough in the light that he noticed them. I said “why are you interested or something?” and he laughed then I said “Nah, you know that episode of Always Sunny where Frank shaves off all the hair on his body, like even his eyebrows and he’s like ‘I jussst wanntttoobeee purrreeeee’... [pause] it’s basically like that.” I think that was it, he was smiling the whole time though, I don’t think he thought anything of it really. And actually, the way he asked me was “do you shave your legs for speed?” so he kind of gave me an out at the beginning. I probably made it weirder by saying that. But they’re jokey lines and I prepared them to be jokey and he laughed and smiled so I think it worked.

I’m still not wearing a bra. I think I want to start if just to project them because when they get hit it hurts a lot. Even when I’m just taking my bag on and off. And then I always try to go in for these bro-ey handshakes with dudes and they bump their fist into my tit and it hurts a lot. Happened like 3 times last night. I have to like stop doing that handshake or somehow learn to prevent them from making contact with my tit.

When I first started treatment I felt weird about the tits. They weren’t a huuge part of my dysphoria, and they started coming in really immediately, or they felt like they did. So it was like, all of a sudden I had these lil titty knots that I didn’t know what to do with. I felt kind of conflicted and strange, almost in a body horror kind of way. When I was younger I was chubby and had “man boobs” or whatever and I always hated them because of how people made fun of me. But now, it’s been like 4 months or whatever, I keep having these weird days or moments where I think the progress is slowing down or reversing or something, I check in the mirror and my tits look smaller, or my facial hair makes my face look worse or whatever, and I start thinking about how if my tits disappeared now I would be hella distressed, like I would be like noooo, come back lol. Even though I wasn’t even sure if I wanted them before. Now I’m like... yo.. tits are great. lol. They’re so sensitive!! It’s a blessing and a curse maybe.

Godddd I keep thinking about the show and being like “what the fuck did I dooooo”

It would help if I had the video, I need to review it to see how bad it really was, otherwise all I have is my shit warped memory that’s probably all exaggerated.

What else. I moved into a new house. It’s lit. Cheap as fuck, roommates are cool as hell. Haven’t unpacked my shit yet. No furniture to speak of. Ima get a desk and a chair soon, maybe a dresser. Buncha hangers for the closet. Posters. I need money fuck. I have to get my next dose like within the next 2 days. I only have 2 doses of spiro left. I might deal with it today actually, I smoked some pot and I’m feeling good so maybe when 5 rolls around I’ll go do a little Uber work. Currently sitting on a hot $0.42 in my bank. I do have like $6 in cash on me but that’s food money for tomorrow in case I end up just falling asleep today/tonight like has been happening. It’s almost like a mild case of narcolepsy except it only affects me when I’m laying in my bed. But since I don’t have a chair in this room yet, this is my only place to sit or be comfortable in my room. And I still have that tailbone thing. Fucking 4 weeks to heal just because I bumped my saddle on my ass. Fuck’s sake, what is that? Universe, what is you doing?

Oh, I upgraded my bike a shitload. Maaaad new parts. Like $450 worth of parts. Feels pretty dreamy. Pretty sexy. Although I am having some trouble adjusting to the 48t up from 46t on my previous chainring. I can still ride it and all that, but I do feel considerably slower than I did on the 46t chainring. Maybe it will end up making me stronger again? I don’t see how anything could make me weaker at this point lol. And I am pretty fast on flats! I just mean climbing, like heading north from downtown which is like basically one giant hill. I’m always out of breath on those climbs now. I’ve been trying to do big powerful breaths instead of constantly panting though, if I’m going to have to breathe different, I might as well try out some different stuff and see what works. Panting like a dog at all times is not sexy.

The 170mm cranks and the new ratio have made my pedals/cleats work a bit differently. I am popping out more again. I reeeally need to buy some Time pedals. In the meantime I will replace my cleats. Once they start getting worn down they are practically useless for skidding which is what I need them for, like, to stay alive, because I don’t really use my brake anymore. I am actually probably going to go brakeless after I get my Time pedals. Now that I can ride fixed, and I’ve been doing it for a while, I understand that brakeless isn’t really as edgy and difficult as people think it is. You can ride brakeless and just be fucking slow as shit all day and never get anywhere but look cool as fuck doing it. You can ride brakeless and go fast as hell, but not even skid, because you just know your city and the lights and intersections well enough to slow yourself down at the right time via reverse pressure. With clipless pedals, this is a piece of cake, really. Anyone who learns fixed on straps probably has more trouble with this sort of thing. But on clipless, it’s easy as shit to me, I do it without even thinking. I know how to control my bike well enough to not use the brake that’s on it. And that’s the point where I feel safe enough to try going brakeless. Bare in mind, I won’t be riding the same exact way - I will be extremely careful at first and ease into it with more comfort in time. I will not take unnecessary risks. The city that I work in, and the company and clients I work for, affords me the ability to ride hard only when absolutely necessary. So for the most part I will be able to practice brakeless control without flying around subjecting myself to dangerous situations constantly and without exception. Of course I will eventually probably do that, but I’m giving it time. Like when I took my back brake off after I was beginning to learn to skid. I could’ve taken it off much earlier, but I took it off when I was ready, and it’s worked out well for me so far.

I think I need to write some new songs.

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hub-pub-bub · 6 years

Photo

Man, something is just off about this dude.

Uh-oh. Eleven Signs You May Have Hired a UX Hack

by Colin Eagan

"What data informed your design decision to wear that scarf?"

Oh, hey client. Look I get it. Being a client is hard. You didn't learn how to prepare for this in client school. You have to make hiring decisions to supplement your team's digital expertise, and it's difficult to know who's good or bad. Even for design roles. Especially for design roles. As opposed to other areas of your business, it's just more difficult to know what you're getting for your money. So you hired this guy (headshot above) on a short-term consulting basis. I mean, I guess he's ok. He's from a big name agency. He seems to understand Millennials, or whatever. But something is just off.

Well, you've heard it said here before that UX (User Experience) is like playing bass guitar: easy to do poorly, and really hard to do well. Here are some signs he may be selling you UX snake oil.

1. He asks you if you "like" the new design direction.

He's so polite! But this is the wrong question. You don't need to like the design. The design needs to further a set of principles that we agree will add value for our users and achieve our business objectives. Liking it has nothing to do with it. Here are some alternative questions that I just this moment pulled out of my butt, any of which would be a significantly better way to phrase this:

BETTER QUESTIONS THAN WHAT THIS GUY ASKED

Do you agree with my prioritization of elements on this page?

Does this design achieve our "mission critical" business and user goals?

Does the design "speak for itself?" Is it intuitive enough to the un-aided user?

Does the design include the appropriate redundancies?

Will this design hold up under our list of failure scenarios?

Does the design meet our established accessibility standards?

How can we make this design better?

But he didn't ask you any of that. This guy really seems to think he's an artist or something. He needs to read Mike Monteiro's Dear Design Student. After all, an artist is just a designer without a job.

After all, an artist is just a designer without a job.

2. He doesn't immediately ask about your customer service team.

I can't believe we have to say this: customer service teams are the best freakin' source of user information! They are the un-sung heroes dealing with your users on a daily basis. They get to hear what everyone hates about your current website, mobile app, web app, etc. And yet they are always taken for granted. This guy didn't bother to ask about them because, a) it didn't even cross his mind, or b) he thinks it's somehow beneath his job as "designer." Ew, call centers. They probably have florescent lights, and crumbs. Design is something to be handed down from on high by a 20-something wearing leather elbow pads.

Ew, call centers. They probably have florescent lights, and crumbs.

3. He gets really defensive about his work.

A good UX person makes his or her money in the design process, not the design delivery. This means working iteratively with the team to scrap what doesn't work and improve, quickly. But this guy is already getting super defensive about this comp he's showing us, and we're only five minutes into this friggin' meeting. UX people should absolutely push back on clients to help make the work better -- that's what we're getting paid for -- but it's a warning sign if every discussion turns into an ego feud. This guy kept telling us at lunch how he only reads real Americana like O'Connor and Faulkner, but I guess he missed the advice to "kill your darlings."

A good UX person makes his or her money in the design process, not the design delivery.

4. He legitimately seems to think that he's designing for someone just like him.

Wait, what? This dude's world-view is somewhat myopic. He keeps talking about how this will look killer on retina devices, but we know from the research that most of our users are older generation who may still use flip phones. (Is that embarrassing to admit?) We could see if this guy's boss has a broader perspective, but he's actually just like this guy, only ten years in the future. Probably too much to ask given that only 3% of creative directors are female, despite the fact that 73% of consumer purchasing decisions are made by women, $20 trillion of the world’s annual spending. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for that disparity that we just don't understand because we're not creatives. Humm.

5. He wears a scarf to business meetings that are clearly taking place indoors.

Just throwing this one out there since we're all thinking it. What data informed your design decision to wear that scarf? Yes, it's October, but it's still 80 degrees outside. And furthermore, this conference room is definitely located on the interior of the building. Now, I can much better understand my female co-worker's decision to wear a scarf, as she is legitimately always freezing, since, among all the other shit women still have to deal with in the workplace, air conditioning standards are based on male metabolism. But this guy has no freaking excuse. God, he is just the worst.

This conference room is definitely located on the interior of the building.

6. He tells you his design is good because it is really "clean."

Oh boy here we go. Nope, that's not a thing. The layout may be better with more white-space and fewer words and visuals, but it's not a good design just because you think it looks better. Removing content for the sake of your design aesthetic is a terrible principle.

This guy really needs to review all the research coming out on content density. It confirms what the rest of us have been thinking for years now, that the move toward large-format, poster-style layouts has come at a cost, namely less information delivered to the end-user per second invested. You know this from all those websites that drive you nuts when you have to scroll for thirteen minutes to find half as many words. Oh shit, this guy designed those sites too, didn't he. Well that just figures.

7. He keeps using words like "cultural zeitgeist" or some garbage.

Oh really, this design of yours with three boxes and a stock photo taps into the Millennial cultural zeitgeist? What the actual f*ck, dude. We're designing websites and applications here, not 19th century German philosophical treatises. Who do you think you are anyway, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel? Well do you know the one thing he was bad at? Designing websites. He didn't even have an iPhone. Yes, we understand that any good UX strategy must take into account the larger brand vision and where it fits into culture and the universe. Vision is important. But the reality is the rest of us have to spend the next four to six months actually building this thing. So let's please focus at least a little bit on tangible goals, not impressive sounding phrases.

Who do you think you are anyway, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel?

8. He complains the design would have been better if you had just let him use Photoshop / InVision / etc.

Would it have? You will deliver the design in whichever format the client tells you to deliver the design. Do you have any idea how much shit I've had to design in PowerPoint? While it's convenient to pretend everyone lives in an all-Mac, pixel perfect universe, the reality is 90% of US corporations still run on Windows (48% of them on [gasp] Windows 7!) It is your job as a consultant to ensure that your work can live on once you pass it over to the business team. That's not to say you should let technology limit you. By all means, concept in the tool you're most comfortable with or is most appropriate to the design challenge. But when you get ready to hand it off, it had better be a file the client can, you know, open.

Do you have any idea how much shit I've had to design in PowerPoint?

9. He says "I'm not a writer."

Well, that's decidedly not encouraging. We're not claiming that everyone needs to be a professional copywriter for a living, but designers should be able to write and writers should be able to design, or at the absolute least have a healthy appreciation for it. Even if it's something as basic as writing an email to help clarify a design choice, designers need to be able to write. Please don't say "I'm an art director so I let someone else worry about the content." We live in a content-first world, bro. You need to start taking yourself seriously as a writer. Research, write blog posts, whatever. It will make your designs better. Steve Jobs himself said that the future of design lives at the intersection of liberal arts and technology. Oh, you have his biography on your bedside table? No shit.

We live in a content-first world, bro.

10. He spends more time talking than listening.

He likes to talk, that's for sure. Actually he won't stop talking. But he really hasn't asked you all that many clarifying questions, nor does he really seem to care about your ideas. Granted, he looks in the general direction of your mouth while you're speaking, which is nice, but then he just says what he was going to say anyway. We understand that his time is super-valuable and all, but it would be nice if he at least made a small effort to treat his clients differently than, you know, his Tinder dates.

11. He tells you that you really need to be more like Snapchat, Facebook or Google.

No, you don't. This is not the best use of your time. Your homepage should not just be a single search box because Google does it and everyone loves Google. That small, prolific handful of tech companies is entirely in a separate category. While you should absolutely consider tactical matters related to these sites (e.g. SEO strategy for Google, social strategy for Facebook), and perhaps broader research on the effects these sites have on user expectations overall, it's a sign of design immaturity if someone is lecturing you on how sweet Pinterest is. You're much better served learning from leaders in your industry who have already taken lumps designing for your specific audience.

I'm sure some of those sites are really "clean" as well.

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Colin Eagan is Principal for Experience Design at ICF Olson in Washington, D.C., where he consults for clients including Liberty Mutual, Lowe's, AAA, Department of the Interior (DOI) and Depart of Energy (DOE). He is a frequent contributor to UX conferences and publications, including UXPA International, IA Summit, A List Apart, Ad Age, and The UX Booth. He credits any career success thus far to not going to law school.

-------------------------

Citations / Further Reading: Inspiration for this article provided by Mr. Autumn Man, Terrible Creative Directors, and real life.

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theworstbob · 7 years

Text

yellin’ at songs, week twenty-five

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 30 June 2007 and 1 July 2017

30 June 2007

87) "Teenagers," My Chemical Romance

Y'know, I find Welcome to the Black Parade mostly disagreeable, but heck if this song ain't a bright spot, insofar as a song about bringing concealed weaponry of some kind to school is a "bright spot." (Hey, I dunno, if you have to add a disclaimer to the video saying "violence isn't the answer," you should consider a different song for the single? Just a thought, don't wanna backseat record executive, here, but that seems bad.) Like, apart from the "under your shirt" line, it's kind of a perfect angsty vibe, not Linkin Parky fml angst, more angsty in that eternally adolescent sense of "all adults are robots and I will never conform," it channels that really well, and it has a dope guitar solo. I don't think I've mentioned a guitar solo being fun, and I can't tell if that's because I don't typically care about guitar solos or this is the first memorable guitar solo we've gotten, but either way, best guitar solo of the project so far. I am spending a lot of time on this song because I'm like 60% sure it's gonna be the only song I like this week. (spoilers: it isn’t!)

93) "Imagine," Jack Johnson

You know what's another thing about "Teenagers?" Like, even before I ever listened to Welcome to the Black Parade, I could draw a line from "Welcome to the Black Parade" to "Teenagers." I could make sense of how "Teenagers" would fit in a narrative that began with "Welcome to the Black Parade," how that kid would become angry and sullen and start scaring adults. I wish more singles had some sort of thematic throughline, like I don't necessarily mean Future should write a rock opera, I mean that I should be able to get the sense that like "Shape of You" and "Castle on the Hill" are from the same album. But maybe I'm just projecting, maybe I'm stuck in MUSIC WAS BETTER IN 2007 mode when, as seen here, it clearly fucking wasn't.

94) "Shawty," Piles ft./T-Pain

wait hold up is that the "shawty, yeah-e-yeah, yeah" from the start of "i'm on the boat." did t-pain start all his features with "shawty yeah-e-yeah yeah" and i'm just noticing it now, or did t-pain reuse a run. anyway, piles is the goat: grossest of all time. he drops bars that would make yachty wince. like, this is just the first verse: "i pointed at the donk & told her this s'posed to be yours/showed her a couple stacks and told her i'd let her blow it" what body part is the donk in this context. if piles calls his dick 'the donk' i might throw up, especially since he believes being able to suck on it is a wonderful privilege. "i taught her how to talk to me while she take pipe" well, communication is key to any healthy relationship, i'm glad piles understands its importance "i gotta train her, now she suck me with ice" oh okay that's cool, yeah no, women need to be trained to give pleasure, i get it, totally, chill attitude that was the first verse. piles is the worst. i can't believe we squandered this hook and the "bust it baby, pt. 2" hook on this gross gross boy. oh hey second verse "member she used to run from me, now she like pain" cool. coooooooooooooooooooooooool. what a song!

no updates to the 2007 top 20 week but we’re gonna publish the top 20 because i didn’t last week and you may have forgotten 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) i still enjoy all 20 of these songs. alright, 2017, low bar for ya. maybe you wanna clear it?

1 July 2017

16) "2U," David Guetta by ft./Justin Bieber

There's something I really don’t like about Justin Bieber saying "Watch me speak from my heart when it comes to you," and then having that line immediately followed by an EDM drop. Like is the drop supposed to be a substitute for words? Is the drop supposed to communicate what's in Justin Bieber's heart? Because all I hear from the drop is "what a nifty drop I am!" But this feels less like a criticism than it does like pedantry. It's OK. David Guetta is a proven programmer of pop music, and this is another solid song that he has made that I wouldn't have been able to pin to David Guetta if I listened to this blind.

70) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott

Worth pointing out that the first autocomplete result for love galore is "love galore travis scott," which is cool. I'm also gonna cop to having this album in my library but letting it sit because there's so much else I have to get to and this wasn't a priority. This song doesn't move the album higher in my queue, but it does have me excited to get to it. This is a dope song, this portrait of an awful relationship neither party much wants to be in, but are staying together because they love each other, whatever that means. SZA regrets hooking up with Travis Scott, Travis Scott admits he was only looking for ass and titties, they both operate independently of one another, but there's love, so there's that. And then the end, when that extremely pleasant bass line disappears, there's that single note on the keyboard and SZA going "woah," then that beat switch into SZA saying "I came here to have sex with you, and if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here," that's just so cool, like this song is complex and intricate and it does the thing "4 AM" did last week where the music occasionally goes out of tone and it does that thing to great effect. SZA's dope. I'm excited for whatever time I get to spend with her in the future. ...OK. OK, fine, I'll fucking leave this nice dark place and go to countrydudetopia.

79) "Do I Make You Wanna," by Billy Currington

Time for a YAS REWIND, because remember last week when we talked about how many people have made it from the 2007 Hot 100 to the 2017? THIS IS RELEVANT TO THAT, because Billy Currington just became the 29th member of the Decade Dance Party! We will share the full list later in this post, because there are only 10 songs this week and most of them blow so I'ma give you some other #content this week, but it's worth noting right here that 9 of the 29 members of Decade Dance Party are country dudes. You drive down enough dirt roads, you're gonna get stuck in the mud at some point. This is a song in which Billy Currington asks his girlfriend if he makes her feel complete and safe, which is either incredibly arrogant or pathetically needy.

89) "Escapate Conmigo," by Wisin ft./Ozuna

HELL YEAH LATIN POP. Gosh, the renewal of Latin pop as a thing we listen to has been one of the best things about doing this silly thing. Like, all the Latin pop is my second favorite thing about YAS, just ahead of Kendrick week but, let's be real, a million miles behind Ashley Tisdale's cover of "Kiss the Girl." This is such a nice song. The beat bounces nicely, Wisin's flow is like "what if Lin-Manuel Miranda rapped in Spanish and was also good" (like maybe it's been a while since I heard that dude rap, but they sound so very alike), and it has one of the best mis-translated lyrics of the year with "My supergirl/The one whose smiles steal me/Tremendous wolf." Tremendous wolf. I adore that.

93) "What Ifs," by Kane Brown ft./Lauren Alaina

I see you, dude. First off, this dude's voice is incredible. Like, after listening to dude after dude either whispering softly over EDM or bleating twangily over the country beat, hearing this dude belt was An Experience. I wish the production would calm down a little bit, like this dude and Lauren Alaina could have made this song an epic ballad on their own, but nah, gotta have the electronic drums spoil a perfectly good opening guitar line, gotta have the standard pop/country things choke the life out of what could've been some cool moments. This dude's a lot like that Luke Combs fella from a few months back, not stylistically or anything, just in the sense that I bet he's cooler than he is on this song, and I trust he's not just some bro country yutz, but I'm not in any rush to check out what else he's got, despite how appealing the song title "Used to Love You Sober" is.

95) "It's a Vibe," by 2 Chainz ft./Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz & Jhene Aiko

This was also OK! As stated, this song was a vibe, and gosh darn, if it didn't do much more than vibe, though. A fun way to kill three minutes, a less than fun thing to listen to if you're charging yourself with the task of coming up with some unique point to make about it for to generate likes and the whatnot. S'a'ight, y'know? I'm supposed to write, what, 100 words about something thats'a'ight? I mean, I don't have to, no one ever asked me to and they clearly don't want me to, but like. It's a vibe! It's another one. Fuck it, I don't, sigh, just give me the country dudes and let's get out of this actually-pretty-decent week.

100) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne

OK. OK! OK, hell yeah, no, I'm sorry for calling you country dudes, 'cuz hot damn, this was great. Like, Chris Stapleton gets a lot of hype for making classic country music, but he only makes the sad slow acoustic country music, and like Johnny Cash had "Folsom Prison Blues" and "A Boy Named Sue," y'know? Not to compare this song to those, but this is uptempo classic country, this is classic country with got damn STOMP, and it's dope as hell.

Two new songs in the Top 20 for 2017! 20) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne (7.1) 19) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 18) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 17) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 16) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) I bumped “Selfish” this week. I have no idea how that happened. 2017′s slowly becoming stacked, and/or I’m an idiot.

Who won the week?

2017. Like? 2017.

2017: 13 2007: 12

Yooge opportunity for 2017 to widen this gap, too, so I’m stoked for a solid two weeks of Chainsmokers songs and memes. Anyway, THE IMPORTANT THING.

The Decade Dance Club

30 people have made or been featured on songs that charted in the years 2007 and 2017. They are: 1) Daddy Yankee (”Impacto,” “Shaky Shaky”) 2) Dierks Bentley (”Free & Easy,” “Black”) 3) Luke Bryan (”All My Friends Say,” “Fast”) 4) Gucci Mane (”Freaky Gurl,” “Make Love”) 5) Jason Aldean (”Johnny Cash,” “Any Ol’ Barstool”) 6) Lil Wayne (”Sweetest Girl” (feat), “Running Back” (feat)) 7) Missy Elliott (”Let it Go” (feat), “I’m Better”) 8) Maroon 5 (”Makes Me Wonder,” “Cold”) 9) Nick Jonas (”Year 3000″ (w/jobros), “Bom Bidi Bom”) 10) DJ Khaled (”We Takin Over,” “Shining”) 11) Beyonce (”Get Me Bodied,” “Shining”) 12) Jay-Z (”Blue Magic,” “Shining”) 13) Linkin Park (”What I’ve Done,” “Heavy”) 14) Rihanna (”Umbrella,” “Selfish” (feat)) 15) Josh Turner (”Me & God,” “Hometown Girl”) 16) Rick Ross (“We Takin Over” (feat), “Trap Trap Trap”) 17) Faith Hill (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 18) Tim McGraw (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 19) Miranda Lambert (”Famous in a Small Town,” “Tin Man”) 20) Enrique Iglesias (”Dimelo,” “Subeme la Radio”) 21) Flo Rida (”Low,” “Cake”) 22) Kenny Chesney (”Beer in Mexico,” “Bar at the End of the World”) 23) Paramore (”Misery Business,” “Hard Times”) 24) Miley Cyrus (”Nobody’s Perfect,” “Malibu”) 25) Blake Shelton (”Don’t Make Me,” “Every Time I Hear That Song”) 26) Shakira (”Beautiful Liar,” “Me Enamore”) 27) Rascal Flatts (”Stand,” “Yours if You Want It”) 28) Trey Songz (”Can’t Help But Wait,” “Nobody Else But You”) 29) Billy Currington (”Good Directions,” “Do I Make You Wanna”) 30) Wisin (”Sexi Movimento,” “Escapate Conmigo”)

Shout out to Wisin for making the list, too! So that’s 30, out of hundreds, who have had a career on the pop charts that spanned a decade. Specifically, the last ten years, there’s a few folks who’ve charted in 2017 that didn’t chart in 2007 despite being things back then, such as Darius Rucker, Eminem, John Legend, Mariah Carey, and Pharrell Williams. There’s also some folks who hit in 2008 that have hit in 2017, your Katy Perries and Ladies Antebellum, that cannot make this list because, hey, it’s kind of a dumb list. But music is dumb, and this list should illustrate how hard it is to last in the music business (unless you’re a dude who makes country music), which is why it’s vitally important we spend hours and hours dissecting Lil’ Yachty lyrics.

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