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s1utspeare · 3 years

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@staidwaters asked for Li Cu and “selcouth” (in reference to this post; send me a prompt!), and since someone ELSE requested selcouth for a character I gave you an extra word lmao. THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE PROMPT!!! I LOVE U!

Also I will put these in a whole collection on ao3 at some point lol.

selcouth—unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet wonderful hiraeth—a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home with maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

There’s a time, when he returns, when he realizes he doesn’t know where home is.

Objectively, of course, he knows where he lives. He knows that there’s an apartment with his father in it and his bed and clothes and things are there, but that’s different. It never quite was a home, but it really isn’t anymore, because it’s just… it’s so small. He’s spent weeks with the stars as his ceiling, even more looking at the same four walls of his room in the Wang compound, so an apartment with beat-up furniture and storage closet that was never used for storing things isn’t that much different from any other apartment he could be in.

He tries going to Su Wan’s first. Part of him wants to because he missed Su Wan, but it’s mostly because he didn’t know for weeks if his best friend was dead or alive, so when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a short, sharp gasp, all he has to do is listen, and he can hear Su Wan breathing next to him in the bed. Also, Su Wan will cuddle him whether Li Cu wants him to or not, so that’s nice.

It doesn’t last, though, because every morning he has to go downstairs and say hi to Su Wan’s parents, and Su Wan’s parents tolerate him, but they don’t really like him, and they really don’t like him now, after he filled their garage with packages and dragged Su Wan off into the desert. Also, sometimes he doesn’t want to be cuddled because that’s like arms pinning him to the ground and it takes all his willpower not to punch a sleeping Su Wan in the face, but to instead lie stiff as a board until morning.

So he packs up his stuff and moves to Hao-ge’s, which is different, but not exactly better. Hao-ge is dealing with his own grief, his own loss, and Li Cu feels in the way of all that fury and rage. He knows, logically, that Hao-ge doesn’t blame him anymore, but he can still see Hao-ge’s face, streaked with tears, his fist pulled back, his voice strangled with anger and pain. Li Cu’s leg throbs.

He stays for three days, just to be polite. He watches their shop while Hao-ge goes out of town to visit some relatives, to figure out what they’re going to do with his grandmother’s things. He knows Hao-ge is probably going to sell the store. It’s not just because he doesn’t want to run it; he honestly can’t, financially. Hao-ge’s not ready to let it go, quite yet, so when he gets back, Li Cu lets him have the space back, to trace over and memorize the corners of his home before he has to leave, makes a mental note to bring Su Wan over to help him pack, to keep him distracted. He didn’t sleep well at Hao-ge’s anyway, especially when he was gone. It was too quiet then.

He can’t couch surf, after that. All the rest of his friends are dead.

He uses some of the stupid money that Wu Xie paid him at the very beginning—and it’s really not even enough, Wu Xie should be putting him through college—to rent a hotel room for a couple nights. That’s nice at first. He has his own space, a big shower, cable tv. But he doesn’t know it, his body can’t relax in an unfamiliar room with big, wide windows and only one lock. He spends two sleepless nights lying on his back, on his side, on his stomach, pacing the carpet. He gives up after night two, when everything’s hazy and dull in the back of his head, and checks out.

He spends the afternoon wandering around the city, toeing past the restaurants and coffee shops and arcades that he used to hang out in, the soccer fields and schools and parks he passed every day. There’s the manhole cover that broke and the city’s never gotten around to fix it, so there are perpetual orange cones around it in a cult-like circle—no, no, don’t think about cults, cones can’t have cults, it’s just a circle, Li Cu, come on—and there’s the statue of a dog near the center of the park near his house and he likes dogs, even more when they’re—not attacking him, they didn’t attack him, the dust of Wu Xie’s grandfather is ground into your bloodstream—and there’s the library that he and Shen Qiong used to go to for story time when they were really young—and now she’s young forever, a bullet in her brain between her eyes she died angry with you she died alone she died at the hands of her family—and eventually he’s on the soccer field and he’s lying flat on his back in the grass but there’s too much light and he can’t see the stars.

He can’t see the stars.

He can’t fall asleep if he can’t see the stars. If he can’t see the stars maybe he’s underground again, maybe—

“Kid, you can’t sleep there.”

He lifts his head, wearily. It aches, heavy on his neck. It got dark at some point, except not right now, because there’s a police officer shining his flashlight into his eyes, and he squints into it.

“Come on,” the officer says, “Go home.”

Li Cu laughs and flops back onto the grass. The police officer mutters something that sounds like a swear word under his breath and comes through the gate, marching over to Li Cu and hauling him, albeit gently, off of the turf.

“You been drinking?” the officer asks. Li Cu shakes his head. “Can’t smell any on you.” The man scoffs. “Jeez, kid, no offense, but you look terrible.”

Li Cu just blinks at him. He’s really tired, actually.

The officer sighs. “Come on, I’ll drive you home. You got an ID?”

Li Cu remembers that his ID is in his wallet which is in the pocket of his backpack and he knows it’s there because he had to use it to pay for the hotel.

He hands the entire thing to the officer, who sorts through it, glancing at Li Cu every so often in concern, and clicking his tongue contentedly when he finds what he’s looking for.

“Alright,” he says, “Let’s get you home.”

Li Cu’s glad this officer knows where his home is, because Li Cu has no idea.

Never mind. Li Cu is pretty sure this isn’t his house.

The police officer rings the doorbell, and unfamiliar chime. A loud, deep voice inside says, “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming!” and then the door is flying open, and a large man with wild hair is staring down at them.

Li Cu frowns because he has no idea who this guy is.

The guy seems to know him, though, because he rolls his eyes, turns back into the house and shouts, “TIANZHEN!”

Li Cu winces, cause his head kind of hurts now, and that was not helpful.

The man turns back to look at them. “What did he do?”

“Uh,” the officer says, because he’s shorter than Li Cu, actually, so he must be feeling very intimidated by this large man, “He was sleeping on the soccer field at the high school.”

The door man snorts. “Of course he was.” He folds his arms, leaning against the doorframe, looks Li Cu over. “Yeah, you look like a mess, Ya Li.”

“Wha?” Li Cu says, because that’s weird, that this strange giant man with large arms is calling him Ya Li.

“That’s what Xiao Wan called you, right?” the man asks. “Su Wan? Your best friend?”

Li Cu gapes. “How do you know Su Wan?” He backs up a step. “Is someone stalking me again?”

The police officer looks very alarmed at that. “Again?”

“He’s joking,” the Person-Who-Calls-Him-Ya-Li says, “No one’s stalking him. His friends came to me for help a while back, but he wasn’t with them.”

The police officer does not seem convinced, but at that moment, a familiar face appears in the doorway behind the Person-Who-Calls-Him-Ya-Li.

“Wu Xie?” Li Cu asks.

Wu Xie looks just as surprised as Li Cu is. “What did he do?”

“Nothing,” the officer says, “He was trying to sleep on the soccer field. Which is actually illegal. So I brought him home.” He frowns. “This is his home, right?”

“I don’t know,” Li Cu says.

“Yes,” Wu Xie says quickly. “Yes, you brought him to the right place. Sorry, he’s been a little out of it lately. Stress at school, you know. Not sleeping very well.”

“How’d you know that?” Li Cu asks in surprise, because as far as he can remember, he hasn’t seen Wu Xie since before the Wang compound. There’s a fuzzy memory of an apology, of being carried, but after he’d been thrown out the window, he woke up on a train.

He glares at the windows to the side of the house. He does not trust them.

Wu Xie gathers him by the shoulders and pulls him through the doorway. “Thank you, officer. I’ll make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”

“Okay…” the police officer says. “Um. Get some rest, kid.”

“Mmm hmm,” Li Cu mumbles, even though he knows that probably won’t happen, and Wu Xie shuts the door.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asks. “You’re supposed to be at home.”

“I dunno where it is,” Li Cu says. He yawns, widely. How long has it been since he slept? He has no idea.

“You don’t know where your house is?” Wu Xie says slowly, like he’s trying to figure something out. He’ll be able to do it. Wu Xie has a Big Brain.

“My house is where my house is,” Li Cu says vaguely. “I dunno where’s home.”

Wu Xie goes silent for a moment. “I see.”

Li Cu blinks himself into less of a stupor, figures out where his hands went (they were on the end of his arms). “I’ll go back there, I guess. Sorry.”

“No, no, wait,” Wu Xie says, which is funny, because Li Cu hasn’t moved. “It’s late. You’re… really tired. We have a couch.”

“Good for you,” Li Cu congratulates him.

Wu Xie closes his eyes for a second, gritting his teeth. “The couch is for you.”

“You’re giving me a couch?”

“Oh my god,” Wu Xie says.

The Person-Who-Calls-Him-Ya-Li laughs. “You sure chose a good one, Tianzhen.”

“Shut up, Pangzi,” Wu Xie mutters, because apparently he is this Tianzhen person.

“Make him take a nap for an hour,” Pangzi says, wandering off down the hall. “Then dinner’ll be ready.”

“We had dinner earlier,” Wu Xie calls after him.

Pangzi stops, looks at Wu Xie pointedly. “Nope. Dinner. In an hour. So the kid can join us.”

“Oh,” Wu Xie says. “Oh, right. Yeah. Dinner.”

Li Cu might puzzle through this if he were more awake, but he’s really not. “What?”

Wu Xie sighs at him. Li Cu should really stop making him do that. “Alright,” he says, “Come with me.”

Li Cu dutifully follows Wu Xie down the hallway, because he’s followed Wu Xie into worse places.

They come out into a wide-open room, full of books and random vases and boxes of papers and bits and bobs. Sure enough, there’s a couch there, and Wu Xie steers Li Cu over to it, pushing against his shoulders gently to make him sit. The couch is pretty soft, a well-worn type of feel to it, like someone has sat here every day for years and years and filled it full of memories.

“I’m not going to ask if you need to be hom—back at your place, because I really doubt it,” Wu Xie tells him. His voice is coming from below Li Cu’s ears, so Li Cu looks down to see Wu Xie pulling off one of his boots, so Li Cu flops over his knees to pull of the other one, but his fingers get tangled in the laces, and he gives up and lets Wu Xie do it.

Wu Xie sighs at him. He takes Li Cu’s backpack and puts it next to the coffee table, where Li Cu can see it. He appreciates that. It’s good to know where things are. If you know where your things are, you can’t lose them. If you know where snakes are, they can’t bite you. If you know where Wu Xie is, you don’t have to miss him.

“Lie down,” Wu Xie says softly, and the couch really is comfortable, so Li Cu tentatively pulls his legs up and sets his head down and gazes at the lamp next to an armchair.

Wu Xie drags the throw blanket from the back of the couch and settles it around Li Cu’s body, which might be a little overkill, because Li Cu isn’t going to be here that long, he’s just going to rest for a moment, and then he’ll leave. Then he’ll get out of Wu Xie’s way. He’ll go back. Just a few minutes.

Wu Xie straightens up, grunting a little bit, and Li Cu almost says, don’t go, but he bites his tongue. He can’t ask that much of Wu Xie. Wu Xie’s already giving him a couch.

But then, Wu Xie doesn’t leave. He goes over to the armchair, picks up the notebook lying tent-style over its arm, flips through it. Someone’s glasses are on the end table, and that someone turns out to be Wu Xie, because they go on his nose as he takes in whatever the journal says, chewing the inside of his cheek absently and tapping a pattern out on his knee.

Li Cu blinks, slowly. Wu Xie is warm and marvelous, he thinks. He’s fading into a soft glow, backlit by a warm light that reminds Li Cu of something, something good, something he thought he lost, but maybe not. Maybe not.

He falls asleep and dreams he’s home.

#alsdighalskdfj i made myself sad #writing #my writing #fic #dmbj #li cu #wu xie #pangzi #there's a cop in here and he's nice ig but fuck the police #just putting that out there #anyway #prompt fill #ask tag #dad!xie rights #the lost tomb #tomb of the sea #sha hai

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tiaragqueen · 4 years

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Aegis

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Adult! Shouto Todoroki x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,2k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Manipulation, possessiveness, mention of kidnapping

[Edited]

***

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but I'll be there for you.” - I’ll Be There For You [The Rembrandts]

It was just a joke, honestly.

During the peaceful silence with Shōto, who liked to visit your apartment from time to time, you’d playfully wished someone would just ‘kidnap you already’. You didn’t really think about the implication of your desire since you tended to speak nonsense when stressed out, anyway. All you wished for was a break from your growing paperwork, someone to pamper you and ease the pressure like a lover would. You might not necessarily yearn for a relationship, but the idea of someone being utterly devoted to you was nice.

And that was what Shōto thought, too. But his way of showing it was… startling, to say the least.

The first thing you saw after you opened your eyes was a plain white ceiling with a pendant light, its bulb dark. Next, you felt the fluffiness pressed against your head. A pillow, you concluded as you groped the said thing, but it was strangely wider than your old one, and comfier too. Then, you noticed how the room had more space and there was a LED TV in front of the queen size bed you were occupying. All of it just screamed ‘wealth’ throughout, and you didn’t know whether you should scream for help or relish the luxury. Perhaps, you could even pretend you owned every belonging despite your poor finance. A little imagination never hurt anyone, no?

A door to your left suddenly opened, snapping you back to reality. Shōto sauntered inside wearing nothing but a towel to cover his lower part, bicolored hair tousled. Your face blanched as you gawked at him, the realization that you’d been sleeping on his room – on his freaking bed – finally settled in. Although you knew that you were just jumping to conclusions, who else was richer anyway? Who else was born from a famous and wealthy family?

“S-Shōto, what–? What am I doing here? Why am I here?! Did I – oh God!” You screeched and pulled your hair in frustration. “I didn’t sleep with you, did I?! Tell me we didn’t. Please!”

He stopped searching for his clothes and turned to face you, wondering the reason why you seemed alarmed around him. Why did it matter if you both slept together? Didn’t you say you loved him? “Technically, yes–”

“What?!”

“But we didn’t have sex.” he continued before you could break down, and the effect of that sentence was powerful enough to elicit an audible sigh of relief from you. Slumping on the white mattress, you clutched your chest to regulate the violent heartbeats.

Cocking his head, Shōto drawled. “We can try if you want.”

“No!” you shouted quickly, hiding your blooming visage with both hands. For as long as you could remember, Shōto never once referred sex, not even a joke. He always looked impassive whenever those raunchy scenes appeared on the TV, or make out. Then again, it was his default face, anyway. Nevertheless, you liked and respected his cute obliviousness and ability to handle erotic things without constantly insinuating them like other males.

However, you tended to forget that he was an adult now, not the awkward teenager you’d first met in high school.

“Why not? We’re lovers, after all.”

You slowly raised your head and blinked dumbly. “What…?”

“Isn’t that why you prayed for someone to kidnap you? So they could take care of you?” he inquired innocently. “I admit, I’m still rather dense to people’s feelings, but your wish has opened my eyes to see beyond the obvious. I felt guilty for being ignorant of your sufferings, so I made it up by moving you to my house. Or, should I say, our house.”

You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but no words managed to leave. On one hand, you were glad that you didn’t have to live in your horrible apartment anymore. But, on the other hand, this was too sudden. Living with your best friend? Wait, no, lover. Did he assume that title after you made your silly wish? But it was just a joke, and besides, you never mentioned dating anyway.

“If something isn’t up to your liking, tell me and we can change it immediately. I want you to be more comfortable here.” Shōto smiled guilelessly, much to your disbelief.

“Shōto, no…” His tender mien morphed into confusion when you shook your head. “I didn’t… I didn’t think about anything when I said that, okay? It was just… it was just bullshit on my part because I was stressed out and–”

“Exactly.” Shōto cut you off and clasped your hands, a gleam of affection flecked his bicolored eyes. “I don’t want you to become more stressed out than necessary, so I decided to remove you from such an environment. After all, as my girlfriend, you deserve only the best in life.”

His reason didn’t make sense to you, but the sincerity behind it was enough to hinder you from speaking once again.

“B-but… what about my job? I need money to live, too.” you finally whispered after a moment of doubtful silence.

Sighing, Shōto patted your crown and smiled. “There’s no need for you to worry about that anymore. I’ve already dealt with it.”

“And what exactly do you mean by ‘dealt with it’?”

“I told your boss you quit.”

Time seemed to slow as your brain processed another bombshell he dropped on you in less than an hour. Once it sunk in, it felt as if the only piece of freedom you had now after moving to his house finally slipped through your fingers and shattered like glass. It wasn’t your favorite job in the world, but the result – your hard work and payment, regardless of how small it was – brought a sense of security and gratification. You hated having to rely on someone financially, because what if they descend to poverty tomorrow?

“You… you can’t do that! My job might be shitty, but it’s everything to me, just like heroism to you!”

“If you hated your job, then why did you devote so much time to it? I thought people would rather avoid such work, or do it poorly.”

“Y-yeah, well, that’s because…” you stammered, trying to elude his piercing gaze. “That’s because for some people… love the feelings it gives. You know, like, personal satisfaction of being paid after working so hard.”

“But your salary sometimes isn’t enough to cover you daily, is it? Especially the rent that seems to rise every month.”

“I-I know that already!” you huffed, scowling. “It’s just… I’m not ready, Shōto. It’s all too sudden for me to comprehend.”

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” he murmured, squeezing your shoulders reassuringly. “If it’s money you’re concerned about, rest assured, I’ll bring it to you every day. I may even save some if it’ll be any consolation to you. Your boss clearly didn’t appreciate your hard work, because if he did, he would’ve promoted you or gave you rewards. But he didn’t, and you were still stuck in the same position as years ago.”

Shōto leaned forward and kissed your forehead. “Don’t worry too much, okay? Just enjoy your new life now. All I’m asking is your obedience, that’s all. If you listen to my words, then everything will be okay.”

You stared at him for a moment before sighing in defeat, acknowledging the futility of arguing with him any further. There was something about him that made his logic sounded… infallible, even if you couldn’t fathom it.

Suppressing the triumph that twitched the corner of his lips, Shōto tousled your hair and stood up.

“Now, go take a shower. There’s a place I want us to visit today.”

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kidmachinate · 3 years

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Stimulate Yourself First!

Now that I have your attention, let’s bring something a little different to this space. Finances. We’re gonna get financially naked here so if finances intimate you, here’s your warning. That said, this is not meant to flex by any means. We all know people who make more or less than us and this barrier needs to come down. Should that be why we don’t talk about this stuff enough? I don’t think so. Let’s generate some value here, shall we?

Before I start this, understand that timing was on my side with this one. I happened to line up a new job, a delayed stimulus check being sent out to me, and my last collection of money for unemployment around the same time. Due to this, there was a lot coming in at once. That is part of what we struggle with however. We’ve got all this money...LET’S SPEND IT! You could. I can’t make your life choices for you...but hear me out and take a look here. No doubt what they want you to do is that whatever isn’t being spent on bills, gets thrown back towards Amazon, or Walmart, or whoever else wants your money. No doubt by now, you’ve figured out where my $1400 stimulus check went. NOT to them. Straight to savings. That’s debatably a bad place too but better than back into the system.that isn’t helping the common man or woman. See 2020.

$1400 just put away without a second thought. I was excited given my current job pays $18/hr to have just over the same amount coming in at the same time...but I didn’t take into account the taxman and paying into social security/medicaid, which is about 15% of that so...whoops. Can’t plan for it all, eh? So less than $1400 to work with. No big deal. From here, we’re paying bills for the month. None of this is for rent. We’re talking lights, internet, etc. We have a little over $1200 to do this with. Roughly $500 is going into past expenses put on credit cards and bills already previously paid with said cards. Credit Cards aren’t as scary as some want you to think but that’s perhaps for another time. This is where we start diving into wants. We’re going big though. My couch due to pets and negligence to an absurd degree has put it in not the best of shape. The couch which will now also be a recliner is $600. Then, gotta get a delivery person. With said $600, I should be getting help with $200 of that from one of two people that were ultimately responsible for the couch in its current state. This means only $400 + delivery which will be around $125 or so. I think we will stop here for the sake of this post.

In this example, let’s do some basic math. Really. Basic. Because I’m terrible at it.

$1400 Stimulus + $500 Bills = $1900 of money we don’t even touch. We paid ourselves first and were responsible in paying bills. Next paycheck, another $1000 will go towards rent. Yay responsibility!

$525 on wants = This is what was decided on for splurging. Long overdue and a good chance to afford it instead of putting it on credit.

Amounts not spoken for, they stay in checking for whatever comes up. Gotta have funds on hand. To this, we are adding roughly another $500 from our last payment through unemployment before going back to work and making a part of this aforementioned money. There’s still a lot to plan for and a bunch of it will not doubt be spent. On what however and for what purpose? We all have to make choices like this.Those choices can become real difficult depending on budget. Some random guy on Tumblr maybe isn’t your first consideration for financial advice and by all means, I am not claiming I am one. I am not. However, since we are not taught what we need to know in school to get ahead financially and/or build wealth, we’ve gotta make our own rules. A combination of consumed content from people that know more than I do about this stuff online and personal values keeps me in check. I’m also in a unique position of knowing what it has been like to live safely between lower and middle class much of my life, so I can empathize with making less, while taking my chances with greater wealth to help plan for the future.

If you get value from this, amazing. I’m just a regular human trying to get by like the rest of you. My biggest advantages vs people in my age group is the lack of debt ever carried for very long, specifically no student debt, and actually having a savings. Average millennial? Not trying to live that life. Life is stressful enough. While much should be done “with a purpose” as my father used to say, that applies to so much here in the finance space as much as it would for something like what clothes we chose to wear.

I’d encourage you, for as intimidating as it is, to at least think about making a plan to get ahead. When you simply come face to face with your own spending habits, only then, and over time, probably through many years of learning, can you go towards a less stressful life and one lived based on your values. Not how cool you look in a Instagram pic having a daily five to six dollar coffee at Starbucks.

If you enjoyed this in any capacity, message me somewhere. Here or wherever else. Maybe I’ll come up with more. Otherwise, there’s hope no matter how desperate. We can’t live on handouts, especially if they just suddenly stop happening. Time to plan for that.

#stimulus #covidー19 #budgeting #finances #payyourselffirst #creative writing #savingstips

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twit-moonstar · 4 years

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as long as we’re together - brian may x writer!reader

N/A: This is purely a self-indulgent fic I wrote mainly for myself, but I though it be nice to share and see what happens. First half of it it’s just y/n having a crisis, tho, and the second part is like domestic fluff. hope u enjoy! comments, reblogs and likes are greatly apreciated <3

As if being an adult wasn’t difficult enough, you had the dream of becoming a published author and, before starting to try to write, you hadn’t thought about the bohemian lifestyle you would have to face and embrace.

Your parents had pushed you—well, forced seemed a more appropriate word—to study Law, but after a few months after starting you dropped it. It wasn’t what you wanted, you were constantly stressed and unhappy by the prospect of the future that waited for you once you graduated.

Abandoning your career, though, meant the extra help your parents offered was snatched away from your hands. Rent wasn’t extremely expensive—you shared a little apartment with Brian and you only paid half of it—, but you still had to buy food and other necessary things.

Without your parent’s income, you had found work as a waitress at a restaurant and started to send your short stories to some newspapers and magazines to get a little extra money.

You had been suffering from a hard writer’s block lately, though.

Rereading for the second time the paragraph that you had already written five times, you ripped off the paper and made it a bun, throwing it on the floor. A new blank sheet confronted you and you decided to throw away your notebook and pencil with fury.

You were at the edge of tears. Not even that glass of cheap wine you swallowed half an hour ago had helped you to take off the feeling of utter desperation and defeat. If anything, it had only made you feel worse.

The words your father spate at you once or twice came to your mind. ‘All writers are just a bunch of alcoholics’. He had never appreciated your art, no one on your family did actually.

They wouldn’t probably support you until they had a properly published book of yours in their hands since your short stories on newspapers did not seem to impress them.

People have the impression that anyone can write but the truth is very few can manage to write words in a way that has any meaning something. Of course, you were starting to doubt you had that kind of talent.

You check the clock on the wall. 1 a.m. Fear starts to creep from your chest to your throat where it left a lump to settle on your head at this hour, usually, if you’re not sleeping.

These quiet moments at night are where you feel the most that you will never make it, that all your dreams are not more than a little dumb girl’s dream. The letter you received today just seems to fuel that thought.

It’s like running behind a car, you think. You can never be fast enough to reach it, no matter how fast you run.

You look at the notebook on the floor, just a few steps ahead of where you are sitting. You need to write something and send it to the newspaper tomorrow but nothing you wrote was good enough. You needed the money. You couldn’t allow Brian to pay again for your part, he was as short of money as you; especially now that his band was spending their money in their first album.

"What are you doing?" Brian asks with his arms crossed and his head resting against the wall, one of his curls falling over his eyes, but he doesn’t bother in push it away.

You don’t dare to look at him in the eyes, so instead, you keep your eyes down. "Just writing," you mutter.

He enters the living room, sitting next to you on the sofa. "Something is bothering you, isn’t it, my love?" Brian takes a lock of your hair and puts it behind your ear, then cupping your cheek.

You lean into his soothing touch with a heavy sigh that comes from the deepest of your chest.

"I- I just -" you sobbed and Brian hugged you immediately upon realizing it, his arms drawing you to his chest and one of his hands caressing your back in circles, comfortably. He shushed softly, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, but you couldn’t hear more than your sobs drowned against his shirt.

Your eyes land on the ripped envelope on the table. You could recite the words on the letter inside by memory by how much you’ve stared at it.

“What’s wrong?”

I’m a fucking fraud, that’s what’s wrong. What if I’m not good at writing? What if this isn’t what I was meant to be? If I’m not a writer, then who am I? But you can’t bring yourself to say that, the lump on your throat doesn’t allow you, so you just pull away and after taking the letter, you hand it to him. He starts to read with a careful expression. You recite it internally.

‘Dear Y/N Y/L/N Thank you very much for allowing us to consider your novel, which we have looked at with interest. However, I regret that we have reluctantly concluded that we could not publish it with commercial success…’

Did I waste all these years?

“This is bullshit.”

You don’t expect to hear him curse so angrily, but his brows are furrowed and his usually soft hazel eyes are sparkling with fury.

“You’re extremely talented and your book is amazing! You spent years working on it!”

“Yeah.”

“I think it would be a fucking commercial success,” he states but you bite your inferior lip to avoid the tears from spilling. The editorial doesn’t think that way and seems like the rest of the others who received your novel didn’t either.

At least you got a response. Most people don’t even get that.

“It’s the only response I’ve got, Bri. I don’t think I’ll ever get published,” you whisper and he throws the letter to the floor and kneels in front of you, wiping away your tears.

“Whatever. I’ve got to keep working,” you reply dryly, cleaning your face with your hands and picking up the notebook and the pen. Brian stares at you.

“No, you’re tired. I’ll prepare you a bath and then you can go to bed,” he states, taking away the notebook from your hands and you whine.

“Brian! I have to do this!” You say furiously, but he doesn’t even flinch to your elevated tone of voice. You, on the other hand, close your eyes with regret and breath deeply.

“Bri, I’m busy. Let me alone.”

You hate yourself for asking him that because you don’t mean it. Being alone is the exact opposite of what you need, but you decide the money is far more important than your emotional state at the moment.

You could always cry later.

“No. I know well enough to know what you’re trying to do. You’re overworking yourself while you drown on your self-pity.”

“I’m not doing that,” you say but the quickness on your reply gives you away.

“Please, take a bath,” he asks, taking your hand.

You shrug. “I guess I could drown in the tub.”

He laughs with little amusement and leaves to return for you after ten minutes. You would be lying if you said the hot water didn’t look appealing. Brian helps you to take off your clothes and you sit on the tub.

“Please tell me you didn’t use my oils and scents.”

“Uh, I did.”

“That was the last I had! I was saving them for a special occasion!”

“Drowning seems special enough,” he says with a shrug.

“Very funny.”

“What were you trying to write, anyway?”

“A story for the newspaper.”

“Why have you been selling your stories for cents? You know they have much worth than that,” he asks. He reaches for the shampoo, putting a bit on his hands and starting to wash your hair. You close your eyes and let him do it. Brian’s hands always find a way to relax.

“I need the money,” you reply.

“What for?”

“Rent and food.”

“Y/N, you know I can take care of it,” he says, almost reproaching you.

You feel a little uneasy before the idea of Brian paying for you, you didn’t like to ask money borrowed and less if you knew that he would be too gentlemanly to accept your money later, even if he needed it.

“We’re not a married couple in the thirties, Bri. I can’t ask you to pay for me. I don’t even know where did you get the money from last rent. I didn’t cover my part.”

“You don’t need to ask for anything, love.”

“Still, I don’t want you to do that”

“I know you just said we’re not a married couple but as long as we’re together, I’ll support you when you need me, y'know?”

Your eyes teared once again and you smiled as you tried to prevent crying again. How were you blessed with such a kind and considerate man like Brian? You were such a mess, lately, but he never backed off from being a firm yet gentle shoulder to cry on.

“Thanks. I promise I’ll repay you,” you say.

“You don’t have to. C’mmon, let’s get you out of the tube before you start to get too wrinkled,” he replies, helping you to stand out. As Brian leaves you to dry yourself, he gets you some comfortable clothes. Once you were dressed, you both lied on the bed, you on Brian’s arms.

“Tell me about your day,” you said and you felt him smile against your hair.

“We tried recording a new song today, I’m not quite sure if the name is good, though,” he commented, running his hand through your hair. You closed your eyes and let him ramble about the problems they had with today’s recording.

“You’re falling asleep already?” he asked in a whisper.

“No, I’m listening,” you mumbled but you felt yourself drifting away more and more.

“That’s okay, my love. Sleep.”

“I love you,” you mumbled.

“Love you too,” he replied and you finally fell asleep.

#brian may x reader #brian may x you #brian may x y/n #brian may fanfic #brian may fanfiction #brian may headcanon #brian may x female reader #brian may x male reader

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

Note

Hi there. I've been scrolling through your "school stuff" tag but thought I'd ask directly - how did you find the transition to actually moving outside of the U.S. for your PhD? I'm looking at something similar and I'm wondering about your experience with the logistics (finding somewhere to live, visa, etc!). Thanks in advance, and congrats on being a doctor!

Oh lord. Why would you do that to yourself? I feel like that tag is mostly just intense kvetching, bogglingly obscure nitpicking complaints, and existential despair, and/or yelling at various institutions and/or people who could not do their god damn jobs. If you have read that and still actually want my advice, I salute you. I’m presuming you’re asking in regard to the UK, since it’s the only experience I can speak on, so hopefully that’s applicable?

In my case, I studied in the UK for a year as an undergraduate, at Oxford, so I was already familiar with the process (at least somewhat) when it came time to do it again for the PhD. Upfront, we must acknowledge the ugly deformed rabid elephant in the room that is Brexit, and the idiotic reform of UK immigration policy currently ongoing. Long story short, they seem to think they can function without low-skilled migration, that the domestic UK workforce will just happily lark off to do the jobs that working-class EU migrants have been doing, that this won’t totally bomb-crater the NHS, that they can run a country by basically only allowing in PhDs in STEM making over £30,000 a year, etc… so yes, this is a complete joke of an immigration policy and it’s what happens when you elect floppy haired xenophobic douchewads and their nightmare party as prime minister! ANYWAY, they’re introducing a points-based system from 2021, which may not affect you for an application under Tier 4, but UK immigration policy is going to have a lot of very stupid reforms and you’ll want to keep on top of those. If you have an offer in hand from a UK university, it is made somewhat easier, but you’ll still need to budget for processing costs, an NHS subsidy paid in for every year you will be there (something like $300/year), and a trip to a UK visa office to have your fingerprints and biometric information taken. If you don’t live near one, that will be travel expenses and so forth. You then have a temporary visa issued for first entry into the country, and a Biometric Residence Permit which you pick up at your university.

That, at least, was the process the last time I applied for a student visa, and it may all have changed by the time you do it. As noted, there are a lot of upfront visa costs, so you’ll want to be aware of those. You need a number of supporting documents, including offer of study, proof of income or ability to financially support yourself (since most Tier 4 visas either don’t let you work or only work a limited number of hours), proof of English proficiency (as a native English speaker/person from an English-speaking country, you won’t need this), and so on. You can’t start the process before you have the offer, but you’ll want to start it as soon as possible afterward, because it can take several months, and obviously needs to be done before you can travel. You will also want to open a UK bank account as soon as you arrive, which can be done once you have your residential address and a certificate from the student services office at your university verifying that you are in fact a student there. It’s pretty difficult to pay out of non-UK accounts, at least for monthly/recurring transactions, and there are international fees. You will also want a UK phone. I still have my UK phone/phone number despite my current hiatus in America, since most carriers offer free or low-cost roaming in Europe (though subject to change with EU trade negotiations), which is nice. I pay only a little extra to have Global Roaming in North America, so I can still use my phone as if I’m in the UK. If you’re planning to be traveling, this is a nice perk to have.

As far as finding programs goes, I’m sure I don’t need to give you advice on what you’re interested in and where you’re looking. Obviously, universities in the UK are grouped as “Oxford and Cambridge” and “everyone else,” though there are also rankings within those. I have been at both of these; Oxford as an undergrad, and then I did my PhD at a large public university in the North that ranks within the top 10 in the UK. The North will be much lower, living-cost wise (actually, if you can swing it, just… don’t do it in London, the cost of living in London is out of control. Of course, if the program you really have your heart set on is in London, then go for it, but just be aware of what you’re getting into). It’s also a rule of thumb that you don’t go anywhere for a PhD unless they’re paying you. Don’t self-fund a PhD, it’s just too expensive, and any decent university will give you some kind of financial stipend. I had a scholarship that covered three years of full tuition at international rate, which was good, though I had to take out some living-cost loans. So if you’re trying to decide between two programs that have both accepted you, a situation I was also lucky enough to be in, it sounds crass, but: take the money. One university had already offered me the tuition/scholarship, while the other had accepted me but wasn’t sure about funding. So I took the one that paid the scholarship. You need every penny you can get. You will be comically, absurdly, unbelievably broke as a graduate student. I was looking back on it like “wow I really lived for four years on BUTTFUCK NOTHING.” It is not for the faint of heart; you will have financial stress along with academic pressure, and while I was lucky enough to have generous friends and family contributing to my living costs, I still barely scraped through. It is something you should be aware of.

I don’t know if you’ve studied in the UK system before (I’m assuming not), but the structure for a PhD is much less determined than in the American system. It will also vary from university to university, so it’s worth establishing contact with a potential faculty supervisor to ask questions and refine your project proposal. I made contact with my eventual supervisor at my PhD university before I actually applied there; I gave him my (much too broad and pretty unrefined) project proposal and what I was interested in, and he helped me tailor it into something that could be done in a feasible time frame and which would make use of his expertise and contribute to the field. Whatever you’re thinking about pitching as a thesis topic, you probably need to make it more specific. I don’t know what field you’re in; I’m a humanities/history person, obviously, so the rule always seems to be WRITE MORE, INFIDEL. But the point is, the UK system has much less structured time, and basically relies on you to have the self-motivation to go out and conduct the research and write it up, and if you’re someone more used to rigid requirements and classes and so forth, you might find it a little hands-off. If you’re like me and can just be set loose in your field of interest and do your own thing, you’ll like it. I feel like anyone who is serious enough about their subject to want to do a PhD has to be primarily self-motivating, but some people function better with clear guidelines, and those are not always forthcoming. I can’t count the number of times I wished my supervisors would just TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO, but they usually highlighted something and had me work to figure out how exactly to fix it. They weren’t negligent or uncaring or unsupportive, and the project became much better as a result, but yes, it’s on you to do, and it can again be frustrating.

As far as living, I didn’t try to rent a flat from afar, sight unseen, in my first year. I just registered for postgraduate campus housing, and lived with four predictably horribly messy roommates (why???!) before I managed to escape and rent a private flat for the next three years. You will need a guarantor with a UK address (i.e. not your parents in America) to sign on the lease agreement, especially if you fall below a certain income threshold, and go through the usual background checking and approval. If you want to have the place to yourself, it will be, as noted, much cheaper to find something you can afford in the North and not-London in general, though southern England and the London commuter belt will all be expensive. If you’re okay living with roommates, or you make friends during your program, it might work to room together and share costs, but I am a pathological introvert and don’t like people, so I lived by myself.

Anyway. Right now, I am in the second round of applications for a Big Deal UK postdoctoral award, which would be for three years starting this fall if I got it, at another high-ranking large public university in the south of England. (So yes, everything that I just said about how much it costs to live in London/London suburbs is me playing myself). I would be applying for a Tier 2 visa (i.e. the permanent/settlement track/full-time work visa) if I got this, which would be another barrel of laughs and different requirements from a Tier 4. That is definitely unhatched chickens which we can’t count yet, as this is a highly competitive/prestigious award and there is absolutely no guarantee that I would get it, but it would mean that I would go through the international moving/visa application process for a third time, so I would once again become too unfortunately familiar with whatever bullshittery is happening now. Le sigh.

I don’t know if any of that is helpful; hopefully so. Let me know if you have more questions, and good luck.

#school stuff #anonymous #ask

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hockeyandstuff91 · 5 years

Text

Fate And The Saint - Part 3

Word count: 5,477

Players: Brock Boeser, mentions of the Canucks team

Other people: mentions of Brooke’s ex, coworkers, her boss

Warnings: Cussing, mentions of cheating, CREEPY ASS boss interaction, smut at the end of the chapter

Authors Note: Yay I finally finished this!!!! There will be a part 3.5 just so you all know, so don’t kill me for the cliffhanger I’m sorry!!! lmao <3 I just didn’t want the chapter to be any longer than it already was lol PLEASE let me know what you think! I love feedback and its the reason why I keep writing <3 Love you guys!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.5

(Brooke’s POV)

My eyes fluttered open, the sun streaming in through the curtains. I made a mental note that I would have to get some blackout curtains soon, because while I love the sun, I liked to be the one in charge of when I woke up, not the light. I started to move a bit but froze as I felt arms around me, pulling me closer to whoever was the owner of them. I looked over my shoulder and sighed with relief, remembering where I was.

The memory of last night came back to me and I smiled a bit. I didn't think that Brock would of stayed the whole night in here, I thought he had just come in to comfort me, but apparently we had both fallen asleep here. It wasn't like it was the first time that we had slept in the same bed, I mean we just did that for the last half of the trip anyways. However the only other time that we had ever actually cuddled while asleep was when we went camping with a group of friends and it was a little too cold that night, and someone forgot to pack a blanket.

I gently pushed the blanket off me, looking down and gently grabbing Brock's arm and trying to move it just enough so that I could sneak out of his grip. I was about halfway off the bed when I felt movement. Freezing my movement again I looked over my shoulder, Brock was laying on his back now, but still sound asleep. I finished getting off the bed as gently as I could, before walking out of the room. I made my way down the hall to the other spare bedroom to look through the box labeled 'bathroom' and grabbed out a towel and all of my shower stuff.

I made my way to the bathroom that was across the hall from my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I didn't even want to look in the mirror, figuring I probably looked horrible from crying all night. I pulled open the shower door and turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up before discarding my clothes onto the floor and stepping in.

I was almost done with my shower when I heard my phone alarm going off in the other room. "Fuck," I groaned, forgetting that I had forgotten to turn that off before coming in here. I knew that was going to wake Brock, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

I heard the noise stop after a few moments and sighed. Not long after there was movement in the hallway, I figured that Brock got up, which was good because I totally forgot to bring a change of clothes into the bathroom with me.

Of course I did

Turning off the water, I reached up and squeezed as much water out of my hair as I could before stepping out and grabbing the towel. I wrapped it around myself and opened the door. I looked down the hallway, not seeing anyone so I tried my best to quickly make my way across the hall into my room unseen.

I opened the door, jumping a bit when I saw Brock was still on my bed, focused on his phone. I didn't remember seeing that he had his phone in here when I left, so that noise I had heard in the hallway must of been him going to get it from his room, but why did he come back to lay on my bed?

"Uh.. morning," I said as I awkwardly stood in the door.

"Hey," Brock smiled. "How you feeling?" he asked, sitting up on the bed and leaning against the headboard.

"Uh... kind of exposed at the moment."

Brock laughed and covered his eyes with his hands. "I wont look I promise."

"Brock!" I laughed and shook my head.

"You act like we didn't just share a room for the last half week," he said, peeking through his fingers.

I rolled my eyes and made my way into the room. "Don't you dare look!" I said as I started to look through the pile of clothes that I had been too lazy to hang up in the closet.

"I wont I wont. So.. we are gonna be gone for a while just so you know. We have away games until the 5th."

"That's only a week and a half. I'll be fine, I have work to go to. I'm sure that'll keep me busy."

"Brookie..." Brock sighed, clearly hesitating on whatever it was he wanted to say.

I pulled on an old oversized t shirt over the towel, and a pair of panties before I dropped the towel onto the floor. I looked back at Brock and laughed, seeing that he still had his hands over his eyes but also was looking up at the ceiling.

"Brock I'm covered enough now," I chuckled as I sat on the floor, sorting the clothes into different piles.

Brock moved to the end of the bed, just watching me. I figured he would finish his thought, but apparently not without me bringing it back up.

"Brock what did you start to say?"

"I uh.. I forgot."

"That's bullshit," I laughed, tossing one of my sweatshirts at him, to keep in its own pile.

"Okay you're right. I uh.. I know you don't overly enjoy your job-"

"Its fine Brock. It's not that bad-"

"You complain about it all the time," Brock chuckled.

"Listen.. That's just because.. okay its not like my first choice or anything, but I have to have money somehow, especially if I'm going to be dealing with rent on my own soon."

"Brooke-" Brock now moved to be sitting on the floor next to me. "I want you to stay here-"

"Brock no I can't."

"Yes you can. Please. Its so quiet here now that Troy moved out to go be with his girlfriend."

"Have another one of the guys move in then. What about Petey?"

"He's already got his own place. Come on, please?" he tried his best to give me puppy dog eyes, which was not fair because he knew that worked on me.

"I'll think about."

"Good enough for now. Also please, don't work at a job you hate. Quit. You don't have to worry about money here."

"Brock I refuse to take your money!" I said throwing a pair of jeans at him.

"Brooke-"

"Listen," I started, turning my body to face Brock. "I love and appreciate that you want to do this for me, I already said I would think about staying here okay? But I can't just take your money Brock, you work hard for that. Plus I sometimes like to go out and shop for silly things and I only feel okay doing that with my money, not yours," I laughed, motioning to the 5 plants I had already put around the room last night, making sure they had enough light.

"Plants are nice for the house though-"

I turned back and stared at him in the eyes. "Brock," I laughed. "Listen I'll make you a deal so you'll shut up about it," I said as Brock opened his mouth to say something. I leaned forward and put my hand over his mouth to keep him from talking.

"The deal is, if I get stressed out, or it becomes too much I will quit okay? Until then I will be going to work. Okay?"

Brock nodded his head, my hand still covering his mouth.

"Thank you," I said.

Brock smiled behind my hand and then I felt him lick my palm. "Gross!" I laughed and pulled my hand back, wiping my hand on my shirt.

"I'm gonna go make food and feed Coolie," Brock said and got off the floor, making his out out of the room.

I smiled and nodded, watching him walk out of the room before I let out a breath, covering my face with my hands. I sat like that for a moment before taking a breath and looking around the room. Might as well spend today making this place like home..

I thought going back to work was going to help keep my mind off of everything that had happened while I was away on the trip, but of course the girls in the office had to ask me every detail. It wasn't like they wanted to bring up the incident or anything, but they were jealous that I was in a tropical place when it snowed for the first time this year.

It had been 3 days since I came back but yet there was always someone who would corner me in the lunchroom wanting to talk about my trip, how warm it was. Some asking me about places I went to, they wanted to make a list in the chance they got to take a vacation and go.

Thankfully they had their own work to get back to and lunch break was finally over so I could go back to my desk and continue answering calls for our boss.

I never imagined myself being a secretary, it was for sure not on the list of jobs I wanted to do, but it paid well and the boss was easy to deal with, well until recently at least.. He had found out that his wife had been cheating on his and was now trying to take half the business from him so he was a little less excited about being here.

The phone rang, pulling me away from an email I was typing up. I reached forward and grabbed the phone off the receiver and held it to my ear.

"Thank you for calling Mr. Johnson's office, this is his secretary Brooke speaking, may I ask who is calling?"

"This is his attorney, Mack."

"Thank you Mack, please hold," I said as I pushed the hold button. I hit a few more buttons, ringing Mr. Johnson's office.

"Hey Brooke, have a call for me?"

"Yes Mr. Johnson, your attorney, Mack, is on the line."

"Brooke we talked about this, please call me Bryson. Go ahead and put him through. Also please take messages for me for the next half hour or so. I'll ring you when I'm done with this call."

"Okay," I responded, hanging up and putting the call on hold through to his office.

I shook my head and went back to the email I had been typing up. Bryson had always been overly flirty with the girls that worked here for him. He wasn't a lot older than the rest of us, 35 was young in this line of work. He had inherited everything he had from his dad who had passed away unexpectedly 5 years ago. Owning an auction house was a lot of work, having to find antiques worth of selling to high paying clients, organizing live auctions, it was a lot. Bryson had even tried to get me to talk Brock into asking the higher ups for the Canucks to donate some signed jerseys for one of the auctions they had going on, but I refused to mix work and my personal life. He at the time wasn't very happy but seemed to understand thankfully.

There was never any times where he had been inappropriate with me, but now that he was getting divorced he had been laying it on thick with some of the other girls who were single in the office.

I finally finished the email and was moving onto the next one when the phone started ringing again. I glanced over at the receiver and saw that it wasn't a phone call this time, it was Bryson phoning me back.

I picked up the phone and held it to my ear "Hello?"

"Hey Brooke, I'm all set with that call now. Do you have any on hold for me?"

"Nope, no one else has called yet."

"Alright. When you're done with whatever email you are doing would you please see me in my office?"

"Yeah I'll be right in, I just finished the one I was working on."

"Perfect," he said and hung up the call.

That was weird, he usually didn't call me to his office unless he needed me to file something for him or print off a catalog for the next auction, and I knew we didn't have an auction for another week, and there were no new clients to file.

I stood up from my desk and walked down the hall, knocking twice on his office door before opening it and stepping inside.

"Close the door behind you," Bryson said without even looking up from his desk.

My eyebrows furrowed as I gently closed the door and took a step forward.

"You can take a seat. Don't worry you aren't in trouble or anything," He smiled at me.

I nodded and pulled one of the chairs that was in front of his desk away and sat in it. I crossed my legs, resting my hands on my knee.

"How was your trip?" he asked, putting the pen he was holding down on his desk.

"It was fine.." I wasn't exactly sure why he would call me into his office to ask me about my trip, it wasn't like we were friends, we never saw each other outside of this building and he had never taken interest in anything that I did in my spare time unless he thought the business would benefit from it.

He stood up from his desk and walked over to a bar top along the wall where he had a station to make coffee or tea. He poured himself a cup and offered to make me tea, but I declined.

"So I heard about what happened.." he started, walking behind me.

"What do you mean?"

"When you were on vacation.. I overheard one of the girls talking about how you saw Brad cheating on you? What a loser.. My wife did the same to me," he said, resting his hand on my shoulder.

I tried my best to pull away from him without also insulting him. Now I knew why he wanted me in here. I was going to be the next girl he tried to take out. There were a number of times when I saw the girls from down the hall go in and out of his office when they never had before, some were in there a while, some were only in there a few minutes. I took a deep breath through my nose and held it for a moment, calming myself.

"It's fine. He was a loser anyways."

"Yeah.. he didn't deserve you," he said, now rubbing his hand back and forth on my back.

"Mr. Johnson-"

"Brooke I told you, Bryson. Mr. Johnson was my dad, it makes me feel old, which I am not."

"Bryson.. Why did you call me in here?"

"Well Brooke to be completely honest things are changing around here a bit.. Now that I am getting divorced I get to do whatever I want. I have offered some of the girls a pay raise around here.. since you probably are moving out of the house you have with Brad you might need it to find an apartment in this city."

"Yeah? And what exactly does it take to get this pay raise?" I asked through my teeth, already knowing the answer.

"Well.. You are very pretty and being my secretary.."

"Bryson if you are insinuating what I think you are, I'm all set. I just got out of one shitting relationship, I would rather not become someones sex toy while at work."

"It would be nothing like that at all, I would just call you in every once and a while, like I do with the other girls. Easy extra $500 a week. Hows that sound?"

"Nope," I said standing up and stepping away from him.

"None of the other girls have said no to me," he said, turning to face me.

"Good for them. I'm sure they will enjoy the fuck money. Me on the other hand, I don't want to be apart of that. Especially if you get caught doing this, pretty sure its illegal."

"Well I do own you girls so I don't think I have to worry about that."

"Excuse me?"

"Where else are you going to work for this kind of pay? If you say no to this there's no way in hell you are going to be able to live on your own in this city. I don't pay you enough anymore."

"What do you mean anymore?"

"Well to be able to accommodate my girls I had to cut pay else where. Meaning everyone else who says no. Since you are the first, you will be one of the ones being cut starting next month."

"Wow you are a fucking dick. You know what? Brock was right. I don't need to work in a shitty place like this. I quit. Good luck with whatever it is you have going on here. You'll be shut down soon enough I'm sure," I said and quickly left his office, slamming the door behind me.

I rushed down the hall, grabbing all the things from my desk that I owned and shoving them into my bag. I walked down the hallway, not even saying goodbye to the girls. I was never truly friends with any of them anyways so I wasn't really going to miss this place at all, especially not after what I found out was going on here.

I all but ran out to my car, jumping in and pulling out of the parking lot as fast as I could. I couldn't get away from this place any faster. I had to go back to Brock's and shower I felt so disgusting. I sniffled, not even realizing I had been crying. These last few weeks had just been so much, Brock and my job were the only two constant things I had in my life, and now one of them was gone and Brock wouldn't be home for three days.

I hit the speaker button on my steering wheel, siri came up asking who I wanted to call.

"Call Brock."

I listened to the phone ring for a few moments before I heard it stop and a soft rustling noise before I heard Brock's voice.

"Hey, whats up? I thought you would be at work right now."

"I was," I sniffled again.

"Brooke whats wrong?" Brock's voice turned serious immediately.

"I just had to quit my job."

"What happened?"

"My boss tried to get me to sleep with him for more money in my paycheck."

"What?! He's lucky that I'm not home right now I would-"

"Brock," I cleared my throat. "I just.. I'll just have to find somewhere else."

"Brookie," Brock's voice was softer now. "You don't have to, but please take some time off to rest for a while at least?"

"Yeah.. I think that might be a good idea maybe.."

"After everything lately? Yeah it would be."

"Okay.. Well I'll be home in a little bit.. um.. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah I'll call you after the game is over tonight. You going to be watching?"

"Of course I am," I laughed softly. "I never miss a game you know that."

"I know," I could hear the smile in Brock's voice.

"Good luck tonight," I said.

"Thanks. Talk to you soon," he said before we both hung up.

The last three days had been.. well they had been kind of a lot. I had cried about the situation at work, and I of course was still torn up about my ex. One of the girls from work called me to ask what had happened, and then mentioned that Brad had stopped by looking for me. She said he looked extremely pissed off, yelling something about his house was basically empty and he had finally just got back home from the vacation after being stranded there for an extra week.

I couldn't bring myself to care, its what he deserved. But the fact that he had come looking for me scared me a bit if I was going to be honest. I knew I was safe here, you had to have a code to even get anywhere near this place, but still I didn't want him looking for me.

I glanced at the clock, Brock would be home in a few hours. I had been mostly just spending my time hanging out with Coolie, taking him on a couple hikes, and catching up on some shows I had been meaning to watch.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed out the bottle of wine that I had bought earlier today. It wasn't exactly my plan to get drunk, but I was for sure feeling it a little while later. I was just relaxing on the couch watching my favorite show of all time, Charmed, when I heard Brock come in.

"I'm home!" He called out.

I smiled at him when he came into the living room, leaving his stuff by the doorway. "Hey!" I said, turning so that I was facing him.

"Oh I see you have been relaxing already," Brock smiled, nodding to my glass of wine.

"Yeah.. I'm not drunk though."

"No I can tell, you get a lot more giggly when you are," he chuckled and joined me on the couch.

It had been a few hours since he had gotten home. The team had the next couple days off to relax so he had decided he wanted to stay up late with me and watch my show. I found that to be kind of interesting since he never really watched it with me before, but I appreciated the company.

"ooh the best scene is coming up," I laughed, already knowing what was about to happen. I had watched this show so many times since I was 4 years old, half of the episodes I knew all the lines. Brock and I focused on the TV as the scene started to play.

(Here is the link to the scene of the TV Brock and Brooke are currently watching, the scene is written out below in itallics, but you can see the full thing on youtube here. If you haven't ever watched charmed, watch this its so good xxxxx)

"Wait! You, Leo, last night, dish." Phoebe said as her and Prue stopped Piper before she could get out the door.

"Mmm well... it was nice, it was- well it was wonderful. We just had a few problems," Piper started.

"Problems?" Phoebe asked.

"What problems?" Prue jumped in.

"Well its been a while since you know.. I..." Piper made a face to her sisters indicated that she was talking about sex without saying it out loud. "and I was a little nervous and.. I kinda kept... Freezing him."

Phoebe laughed while Prue gasped. "Piper you didn't!"

"I didn't mean to... the first time."

"ok so um, um, at what point in the process exactly did you.. freeze him?" Prue asks.

Piper just smiles and laughs a bit.

"Hello!" Phoebe exclaims.

"I gotta go!" Piper says pushing by her sisters to get to the door.

Both Brock and I were laughing at the scene. It had always been one of my favorites in the show it never failed to make laugh.

"Man I wish I could freeze people.." I mumbled under my breath, once we stopped laughing.

"What?!" Brock laughed.

"Oh you heard that?" I hid my face and laughed. "Maybe being with Brad would of been more enjoyable if I had Pipers powers lets just put it that way."

"Wait-" Brock set his glass down and looked at me. "Are you telling me that-"

"Brock! Don't ask me that its too weird," I said putting my glass down and turning a bit so I couldn't see his face even though I could still feel his leg pressed against mine.

"Brooke come on we are best friends, we talk about everything."

I sighed and closed my eyes, nodding.

"He never..."

I smiled, now Brock was having a hard time with this conversation. "He never what Brock?"

Brock cleared his throat after a moment. "He never... helped you finish?"

"Uh.. once, when we first got together, other then that no he didn't care."

"Wow I just continue to hate him even more somehow."

"I know Brock," I sighed.

"I would never do that," Brock mumbled.

I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "What?" I asked looking over at him. If I hadn't had some drinks I for sure wouldn't of said anything, but liquid courage apparently had kicked in a little.

"I said I would never do that," Brock said looking over to me, a different look in his eyes that I've never seen. Darker, almost.. hungry.

"Well.. lucky to all your girlfriends then," I said, turning my attention back to the TV.

I felt the couch shift a bit, but I didn't look away from the TV. It was a few moments later before I could feel that Brock was closer to me, his hand resting on my thigh.

"When.. when was the last time someone, besides yourself, made you cum?"

My eyes went wide and my breathing stopped as my face flushed. I all of a sudden felt extremely hot. "uh.."

I could feel Brock's hand slowly rubbing up and down my thigh, getting high up on my leg.

"If you have to think about it that long it must of been a while ago."

I took a shaky breath and nodded, still watching the TV. I had liked Brock for a long time, but I pushed those feelings down many many years ago because we were best friends and nothing really ever happened between us. Now that it seemed like something might be happening I wasn't sure what to do.

"Well that's not fair to you," he said softly.

I shrugged and stood up. "Umm.. you want some more wine?" I asked walking towards the kitchen, not even letting him answer.

I could hear Brock sigh behind me. I leaned against the counter and covered my face. I wanted so badly to just let go and be with Brock, but I also really didn't want our friendship to be ruined because of one night.

"Fuck," I sighed and pushed myself off the counter after standing there a bit too long. I grabbed the bottle of wine and brought it with me.

Brock now was taking up pretty much the whole couch. He had moved the pillows around so they were behind his back as he leaned against the armrest of the couch, his legs stretched out. I set the bottle down on the table and sat on the last cusion that wasn't being taken up by his legs.

Brock pouted. "Come cuddle with me," he almost whined as he gave me puppy dog eyes.

I sighed and crawled over to him. Brock pulled me over and turned me so that I was sitting between his legs, my back resting against his chest.

"This is so much more comfortable than before," he smiled and rested back against the pillows.

I nodded and moved around a bit before I got comfortable and turned my head to watch the TV. This episode was almost over at this point, but I had it set up so the next would play on its own.

After what had just happened a few minutes ago I figured Brock would say something about it when I came back, but he seemed to be focused on the show and let it go. It wasn't long before I felt his hand on my thigh again but, like last time, I just tried to keep my focus on the show.

The episode had finally gotten to the part where the girls were going to fight whatever demon or warlock was in this episode, so I was super focused on what was happening that I didn't even notice that Brock's hand was now on my hip, pushing his thumb into the waist band of my leggings.

I did however notice when his whole hand ended up in my leggings and inside my panties. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could his finger was dipping in between my lips, collecting the wetness that was there as he moved his finger up to my clit and started to rub me in slow circles.

"Brock-"

"Shh let me do this for you," he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

"You don't have to," I managed to get out, trying to hold back my moans.

"I want to."

"Why?"

"Because you're my best friend and you deserve to feel good. Especially after these last few weeks," he said as he pressed his lips to my neck. I blushed and smiled. I could feel my stomach fill with butterflies, bitting my bottom lip. I had dreamed of something like this happening a long time ago before I had tried to supress my feelings for Brock, but now I could tell that I hadn’t done a very good job with it. I could feel him reach further down as I felt him tease the tip of his finger around my entrance before pushing his finger inside of me.

I gasped and leaned back against him more, my eyes closing as I felt him pump his finger in and out of me.

"Let go Brooke. It's okay its just me," he said as he pushed another finger inside of me and picked up the pace a little.

I bit my bottom lip, arching my back a bit, but still not making any noise. I wanted to let go like he was telling me to, but I was still scared this was going to ruin our relationship.

"Here lets get these off," Brock said, pulling his hand out of my leggings. I whined a bit in protest, but lifted my hips as he started to pull my leggings and panties off all at once.

Once I was settled again and half my clothes were now laying on the floor next to the couch, he reached back down and pushed his fingers back inside of me. "There that's a lot better," he said as his lips pressed back against my neck, placing gentle kisses there as he fingered me fast.

I moaned softly for the first time and I could feel him smile against my skin.

"There you go, let go. Moan as loud as you want no one can hear but me," he mumbled against my skin, his other hand rubbing gently up and down my thigh.

"Oh god Brock," I moaned, leaning back against him. I reached my hand up behind me, grabbing onto a handful of his hair as I turned my head, opening my eyes to look up at him.

"Does that feel good baby?" He smirked down at me.

My stomach flipped as I heard him call me baby. I nodded, moaning again as I felt him start to rub my clit with his other hand.

"You going to cum for me?"

I nodded again, not trusting my voice as I felt him match the speed of him fingering me, with how fast he was rubbing my clit. I could feel him getting hard against my lower back and I bit my lip.

Brock leaned down and pressed his lips to mine just as I started to crash over the edge, my pussy clenching around his fingers as I came all over his hand, my legs shaking.

Brock swallowed my moans as I rode my orgasm on his fingers, my hips moving on their own as I tried to get more friction somehow.

Brock pulled back from the kiss, smiling down at me. He pulled his fingers out of me gently, bringing his hand up and licking his fingers clean. My eyes went wide, not sure how to process what was happening, or if maybe this was just a dream.

"Mmm," Brock smiled and pulled his fingers from his mouth with a very obscene popping noise. "Lets go to your room," he said, getting up from the couch.

"Wh-why?" I stammered out.

"I'm not done with you yet," he smirked at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet.

"But you already made me cum.."

"Once yeah," he winked at me before leading me down the hall. "I told you Brooke, you deserve to feel good, and be taken care of for once. No one had shown you that yet, so I'm going to."

#fate and the saint #brock boeser #fate and the saint part 3 #nhl fanfic #first person #mine #my series #canucks #<3 #3-30-19 #smut

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nicosroom · 5 years

Text

My Money Snapshot

[Inspired by Corporette]

Location: Ohio, small college town

Age: 29

Occupation: PhD candidate (English)/half-time instructor

Income: $16,000 before deductions

Net worth: $588 (I’m crying)

Current Debt: $12,844

Living situation: Renting with a roommate

Money Philosophy:

I grew up in the “working poor” category. My parents are divorced and my father never contributed much financially. Mom made around $21,000 per year at work and she cleaned houses “under the table” to supplement that. Somehow, we never went hungry, what we ate was relatively fresh and healthy, and she managed to put two of us through Catholic schools for a total of 14 years. I know now that mom is still paying some of those loans and credit card debts and that part of her strategy included not contributing more than the 3% that her employer matched in her 401k. Every time I complain about the financial stress I feel at my salary level, I have to remind myself how comparatively unstressful my financial life is.

I’ve always been poor and I always knew that graduate school/academia is not a lucrative career. I tell myself that if I can make things work at this pay grade, then I’m ready for just about anything. My main strategy is to have a budget, stay in the budget, and save every bit that I can.

Monthly budget

$1000-1100 for the necessities each month. Monthly spending on eating out, entertainment, shopping and other categories varies widely. I also won’t lie... dating someone who makes 4x more money than me helps... I’m fairly frugal on all of these fronts: I buy most of my clothes second hand and I tend to shop seasonally. Spikes in spending occur around the winter holidays when I’m buying gifts and when I am doing traveling. And I also have totally weak, impulsive moments - like the $3 soap sales at Bath & Body works, or that time I spent $110 on bras and underwear on a whim. Anyway:

Rent: $272.50/month

Other living expenses: $130-170/month (electric, internet, phone, renter’s insurance - lower in summer, higher in winter)

Transportation: $332/month (gas, insurance, car payment)

Healthcare: $162/month (health+dental insurance, no vision coverage)

Groceries: $120-150/month ($30/week)

Debt Picture

Student loan: $2000

Car loan: $10,488

I’m a career student & my motto for all the years I’ve been in school has been “follow the money.” I went to college on very hefty scholarships and I only had to take out the $2000 loan to cover housing costs during my first year. For the subsequent three years, I was an RA, so I never had to take loans again. I applied to graduate programs based on the research fit, and when I got my offers, money weighed heavily in the decision. I would have loved to live in Boston as a wee 22-year old, but I wasn’t about to take out loans for a year’s worth of tuition and the living expenses. And to get a PhD while living in Minneapolis, my very favorite city in the US? It would have been such a dream, but for the quite steep difference in stipends and the significant disparity in cost of living compared with Ohio. My only regret on this front is that I haven’t started paying back my tiny student loan. I’ve been able to defer it since I’m in graduate school, which was a great idea when I was a master’s student who didn’t know the first thing about budgeting. But if I had just paid $25/month from the start of grad school the balance would be $0 about the same time I graduate from this PhD program this August. Instead, I’ll be scrambling to pay off the whole balance before my 6 month grace period ends.

The car loan is less than a year old. I finally broke down and bought a new (by which I mean used) car last summer after really pushing it with the car my parents had bought me in high school. Repairing that car put me into credit card debt more than once and I was getting so stressed about it. It was time. I have a very good credit score, so I qualified for a nice loan rate with my credit union, and to get a better rate I got my mom to co-sign my loan. It’s a popular rental fleet model so there were tons of them on the market, but average miles were high - so when I saw one that was two years old with only a years worth of miles on it at $1000 less than the average price for that make, model, and year, I jumped on it. My payments are $231/month on the 5-year plan. Currently, I’m paying that minimum, but I plan to escalate my payments as my income goes up (I’m on the academic job market now, pray for me). I folded this car payment into my existing budget by giving up solo-living and finding a roommate. When I had my own apartment, very spacious with a huge kitchen and tons of windows/natural light, I was paying about $585 for monthly rent. I hate living with people, but I hated the idea of being trapped in this college town without a car even more - one of my other mantras is “you can do anything for a year.”

A note on credit cards: I love them. I’m one of those responsible people that charges everything and pays the balance like clockwork every month. This is the only way to make sure you’re actually taking advantage of the cash back/reward perks! Currently, I’m using Capital One’s Venture card and stockpiling airline miles for travel (it has a 40,000 mile sign-on bonus). If you’re good for it, I also recommend one card with a great balance transfer program. For me, when I get into an emergency situation, it makes me feel like I have options. It’s been about 4 years since I’ve had to use my balance transfer card to cover costs ($1400 in car repairs, summer 2015), but at my level, I can’t afford to not have back up plans.

Savings and Investments

$5,517 Cash

$7,861 Roth IRA + employer mandated retirement account

Retirement: The biggest financial mistake I've made in grad school is that I did not opt into the retirement account offered by the university when I started my M.A. in 2012. When they ask me that “what I wish I had known before I went to grad school” question, this is near the top of the list. I did, eventually, open a Roth IRA and slowly I started to build something. This year, when my graduate funding dried up and they made me a “half-time instructor” the retirement account for public school teachers was mandatory and the contributions are high: 14% of every pay check (annoying, yes, but on the flipside, there is an equally high employer match). While I’m contributing to this, I’ve paused my contributions to the IRA. I’ll roll this money over, either into the IRA or into another state/employer retirement fund when I move on from here.

Personal savings: I strive for a minimum of $100 per month and frequently do a little more, but each month is different and I consider it a win if I break even. Through most of grad school, I’ve taken on “second jobs” to bolster what I can save (and boost my resume). Both jobs have been through the university, so they limit me to five hours a week. When I max them out, this can be an extra $200-250 each month.

I took up a new savings challenge this academic year to build on my “play money” savings account (a high yield savings account which my bank labels a “goal setter” account). The challenge involves tallying the “total savings” printed on my receipts each month (i.e. when the grocery store is like “you saved $6″ because of sales and coupons). So, At the end of the month, I put that running total into my goal setter account. Sometimes the total savings are like $26, but others its as much as $171. It’s an interesting challenge because it encourages me to do tedious things, like scroll through all the digital coupons on the grocery store app; but at the same time, I know that the higher that number is usually coincides with a lot of shopping which encourages some self-regulation.

I initially set my goal at $2500 when I opened the goal setter account in 2014. When I had to dip into the account in April 2018 to pay $930 in car repairs, I finally set plans in motion to buy my car. Since I bought used, I only put 10% down on the car (just over $1200). When I sold my old car for $1000, I put that money right back into the account to start saving for new things...

What I’m saving for now:

travel: to celebrate finally finishing this PhD, I’m hoping to pull off a trip to Europe. Later this year, I’m also turning 30 around the same time that one of my regular professional conferences is meeting in Hawaii. If I can do one or both in the next year, that’d be grand. (As I mentioned, I'm saving up airline miles with my credit card program, too!)

a multicooker: think InstantPot...but more expensive because my dreams all revolve around small appliances that match my stand mixer.

What I do to be frugal...

I’ve been frugal my whole life, but a couple of major habits I’ve formed include:

Meal planning and home cooking (read my guide to meal prep here). The money part of that means planning what I eat around maximizing the ingredients I have to buy. I plan meals that use the same ingredients so I’m not spending on an entire bunch of celery and then throwing out 75% of it. Routinization also helps, so my grocery lists stay about the same week to week and the bill relatively predictable - for example, I eat avocado egg salad almost every day for lunch. I know, avocados are not cheap, but I also believe in spending on the things that nourish you––literally and “spiritually.” Roxane Gay once said that she never bought avocados or blueberries when she was a “poor grad student.” Once she started making money, she realized she would buy them because she could afford them, but she also threw them out all the time because she didn’t plan her meals right to actually eat them. The point is, buy the foods that you like/feel good about and build habits around them. It’s not wasted money. That said, I won’t pay more than $1.25 for an avocado!

Second hand clothes shopping, especially for my business casual (it’s amazing what people donate to the Goodwill, barely worn!)

#money #money snapshot #avocados #debt #savings #gradblr #gradschool #personal finance

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meeks-writing · 5 years

Text

Sometimes Love is not Enough [Throwing Lemons]

Chapter 7: Butterfly Effect

Eijirou never had been on the market at the side of the city. But he loved it the moment they arrived. The bustling noises, all these people, the different scents. His hearts beat fast in excitement. It was hard to concentrate on things when there were a billion things happening at once. Merchants yelled for customers to look at their goods or that their prizes were the best, people strolled around, laughing, some fighting, birds singing in delight of the sunrise, the soft wind gliding through already yellow leaves, it was so perfect Eijirou had to stop and stare for a while.

Til a strong hand cupped his forearm pulling him along. “Fuck, god. Don’t act like a four-year-old! We have things to do! This isn’t a shitty date where we just stroll around. We are here for work!”

“Wait. Does that mean I get paid for this?” Eijirou said with a huge ass smile. Normally Katsuki would hate it but somehow he felt less agitated. After the strange moment in the car. He had almost suspected to have broken him. Not that he cared anyway. But somehow… this sunshine smile seemed worth to not break it. At least not willingly.

“If you ask like that, no!” Of course, he would pay him! But the stupid question didn’t deserve a decent answer. Katsuki couldn’t believe that this kind of attitude was what was popular among the customers. He actually was kind of useful.

The redhead laughed. “Oh, C’mon man. Don’t be like that! I am totally short on money. And my landlord is already eyeing me!”

“Tch!” Katsuki replied. “I bet you are just too dumb to handle your money. Throw it out for utter nonsense instead of paying your rent or buy food.”

“No! I only spend my money on the most important things!”

“What’s more important than fucking food and shelter?”

The look on Kirishima’s face is that of utter disbelief. As if the answer were obvious. “Happiness of course!”

The angry blond snorted! “Didn’t know you could buy happiness, now.”

“Of course not like that. But in some ways, you can. Everyone wishes for something and gaining that grants you happiness.”

“So, you actually spend all your money for junk your fickle mind might want in that instant!”

“No! No, I spent it on gifts! I love to make other people smile. That’s my happiness. Knowing that I have a positive impact on other people’s lives.”

“Gosh. Being a helplessly naive idealist with a helper complex isn’t enough for you. You have to be a fucking altruist, too! Who the hell are you? Santa Clause?” he looked him up and down. “Well… with all that petty red you could fucking be!”

“Thanks, man!”

“That’s not a motherfucking compliment, dipshit!”

Eijirou laughed. “Aw, come on, man. I know you like me.”

As an answer, he received only a choked snort while Katsuki stopped walking. “How the god fucking hell did I ever gave you the shitty impression that I may in any way ever could possible like you?”

“You nursed me and made up a reason to check on me without the busy surrounding of the restaurant.”

“Fuck you! I didn’t! Stop imagining things!” A pause. “Did you at least go to the hospital?”

“Oh…”

“Oh, what?!”

“I totally forgot that! It’s not really hurting anymore. So I forgot to look after the wound at all.”

A frustrated groan escaped Bakugou’s throat. “How stupid can one person be?”

The blond stomped away directly to one of the booths. Not looking back to Eijirou at all. “Hey old man. Whaddaya have for me today?”

“Good morning Katsuki. I see you’re in a good mood today.” the man replied. He was a man in his forties, Eijirou guessed. He liked the easy smile on the older man’s lips. And it seemed that he knew Bakugou quit well since Katsuki seemed to be his given name. Thank goodness he didn’t have to ask. “I have all of the usual. My eggplants are very well grown this season. May want to try something new?”

“‘Course!” Bakugou snapped and Eijirou had to smile while stopping next to the blond who looked at some eggplants like a jeweler would look at a diamond trying to find some flaws. This concentrated expression while the world had died down around him, was incredibly cute. Eijirou felt the urge to draw it. But that wasn’t the time so he let himself be distracted from all the colors of fresh vegetables. His stomach growled angrily. Why hadn’t he took his wallet with him? Well, most likely that was empty anyway. Sometimes it was like his money just vanished into thin air. So nothing for him. But still, the apples looked so very tempting…

“The kid had complained about you only ever come to see me and not him. Guess he misses you. The whole squad does.”

While trying not to look like it, Eijirou listened closely. So Bakugou actually had a squad. He smiled to himself. Yes, he really could imagine an angry blond teenage boy pulling everyone’s attention to himself because of his intense aura.

“I don’t care. If dunceface of the other idiots want something they better approach me themselves. I have no time for fucking around. I at least am working!”

The old man laughed, seemed to have awaited an answer like that. “Come on. Just a little text now and then won’t kill you. Of course their missing their friend.”

“Too bad we’re no friends. Finally got rid of that losers. Not gonna make shit for them to come back.” Another laugh of the salesman. He didn’t seem hurt on his poor kid’s behalf. “I see. You already found a new follower.” He glanced at Eijirou who tensed up under the gaze, not knowing what to do with the sudden attention. “Denki will be offended if he’ll hear of that. Can’t promise he won’t storm the restaurant with the rest of the squad tonight.”

“Gosh! I’ll kick his stupid ass if he’s going to dare!”

“I know.” And he really seemed to do. And with that, he dropped the subject. “Do you need some squash, too?”

Katsuki grunted in approval. Choosing all of his vegetables from there on with the same very serious way. Even though it was cute and all, it really took some time and the redhead was starting to get bored just waiting there. He maybe should have taken his books along to learn some more. Or at least anything to draw. “Will you be done anytime soon?” he asked trying not to sound like an impatient child. “Or can I get a look around here?” Despite he had no money with him he wanted to at least look at the many booths and the goods they offered.

“Tchk! Make yourself useful and pack the vegetables up. I’m not paying you for standing around, dipshit.” He pushed a folded box to Eijirou. So he took it immediately, unfolding it and following the orders of his boss, yawning.

His mind started to wander, making him sleepy once more. How should he be able to manage work later? He needed at least 3 hours of sleep for his brain to function in any mathematical way. Why had he agreed to this? Why was Bakugou even doing this ridiculous stressful thing? When he always went to the same vendor every time then why not letting that man deliver the vegetables?

A laugh from the booth owner startled him out of his daze. Bakugou looking at him like he wanted to stab him. Eijirou sighed. How much of that did he say aloud this time? Being sleep deprived almost did this to him.

“I actually thought about starting a delivery service instead of the market. But I can’t lose my favorite customer.” He smiled fondly at the blond. Strange man. His mom would be on the warpath with anyone who has spoken about Eijirou as Bakugou had about this man’s son. But maybe, he didn’t want to start a fight with a regular customer.

“I don’t get it. Why lose him as a customer when Bakugou didn’t have to get out of bed at godforsaken hours when he’s just working till the night.”

He heard the crackling of little explosions besides him. Knowing that this may wasn’t the best way to have put it.

“I just mean if you stopped first at the restaurant he can do this very important selection thing there not having to drive the poor food around more than needed.”

Both men, old and young looked at him dumbfounded as if he was an alien. Eijirou yawned. “Just saying. Not that’s any of my business.” He felt kind of exposed and wished he had more control. Especially when Bakugou just right now growled deeply. A very predator sound. “Apologizing for the first smart thing he said for as long as I know him.” the blond spat even though it sounded more as if he were mumbling to himself expect that he was not silent enough for that… maybe for Bakugou’s voice, it was. Eijirou liked it.

“Never apologize for all the bullshit he blabbers all day, going on my nerves and shit. Can you believe him?”

The older man laughed. He looked at the boys with fondness Kirishima didn’t understand. “Have mercy on the guy he looks like sleep didn’t knock on his door tonight.” “Pff! As if I care! Not my problem that guy is so stupid!”

“Easy Katsuki. You may hurt him. I don’t think he is used to your way of communicating, yet.”

A single snarl was the only answer the old man was regarded with. Eijirou watched the scene baffled. It really seemed that the blond had gone softer around the edges with this man. So maybe he really was just like this… even with people, he did like. How relieving! Probably that was why the old man not reacted to Bakugou insulting his son because he knew how to read between the lines. Oh, Ejirou wanted to do that too! It was definitely a manly thing to let a fellow not go out of his way. Even more so because it seemed like explaining himself was something that didn’t come easily to the blond. On the other hand, Eijirou had always been good with people so it should be easier for him to learn the way Bakugou Katsuki worked. He had wanted to for some time. Now he was pumped.

Just you watch Bakugou Katsuki! I will make you comfortable around me!

This time he actually managed to not blurt out his thoughts. He probably would have been dead otherwise. He watched Bakugou paying and lifted the box. Oof. It really was heavy. He had to harden his shoulder muscles a bit for it to be more comfortable. Out of the corner of his eyes, he observed Bakugou. Somehow he doubted he wouldn’t have been able to do this on his own. Yeah, he had a somewhat slender shape. But Eijirou had a feeling the carrying was not for what he was here actually. It made him feel light as a feather. They worked together for less than a month and Bakugou didn’t seem to be a man that made friends easily. The fact that he denied that he had any was proof enough for that fact. So his goal was set. Not would he win the other over as friend no, he would even make him admit aloud. They would be great as friends. An unstoppable team.

“God, what are you grinning about this time? Saw a butterfly or what?”

A laugh. “No. But if you see a cool one, you have to tell me!”

“I won’t cause something like a cool butterfly doesn’t exist!”

“Of course there is! Never heard that a flap of butterfly wings can cause a storm?! If that isn’t badass. Looking all tiny and cute and then move the forces of nature!”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “That theory doesn’t have anything to do with butterflies in general. The butterfly is only a metaphor… And no I won’t explain useless shit like that to you when you can’t even keep the important stuff in your cheese holed brain.”

“Naw… but I am curious!”

A sigh. “Fine! If you pass your damn exams, I’ll explain. And now get in the fucking car!”

Eijirou blinked and looked at the car Bakugou had mentioned, that somehow had come out of nowhere. He hadn’t realized that they already arrived at the parking lot.

So he gave the box to Bakugou who already reached for it, to put it into the trunk while the redhead got into the car, the same seat as before, waiting for the blond to follow. The clock of the parking lot showed him that it was already 8 am. It had taken him quite some time. Hadn’t felt like that. His head was kind of fuzzy and his lids were heavy. Maybe he should use the ride to make a little nap.

While his body relaxed his mind wandered. The words of the blond repeating into his head. Could this somehow mean, that Bakugou cared if he actually passed the exam? That he tried to motivate him in some strange way. Despite what he had said before. His heart started beating faster at these thoughts. It was like a curtain had raised just now revealing some small well-hidden truth. He wasn’t sure he was right. He needed to confirm it.

Bakugou shut the trunk which made Eijirou startle a little and open the eyes which he hadn’t know he had closed. Soon Bakugou sat down on the driver's seat and tossing something at Eijirou. He almost failed to catch it. It was an apple.

“This one is stained. Can’t use shit like that. So eat it or throw it away. Don’t care.”

“Sure? I mean the shop owner would replace it for sure!”

The blond already started the engine not looking at his companion once. “Don’t bother. Need to get to the restaurant.” He growled his eyes fixed on the street slightly more than needed.

Eijirou looked at the really delicious looking apple. It was almost perfect. Only one little wound in the size of a thumbnail looking quite new. He tried his best not to grin madly about this. Here it was. His proof. This guy was actually a nice person.

He sank his teeth in the bright red apple. “Hm, so delicious! Thanks, boss!”

The angry blond only growled. But the redhead didn’t bother to ask for more.

The apple really had a perfect rich taste. He had to think of his mom, thinking of her coming over and seeing how poorly he was doing. “Bakugou-san?” The blond flinched being addressed like that. “You were good at school, right?”

“What do you want fuckface? Don’t give me the small talk shit!”

“Would you mind… helping me with my studies?”

“Why should I?”

“I work for free every second Saturday for the dinnertime!”

Bakugou made a sound something between a hum or a growl. He seemed to think about it. “No, you stay after your evening shifts. You help clean up and do the register. I’ll tutor you in lunch-break. So no lunch shifts for you anymore!”

Eijirou was baffled. He hadn’t expected that the blond would do it. The conditions were very convenient for Bakugou he wouldn’t gain much more of it than he already had. But maybe that was Bakugou’s way of taking the help Eijirou had offered him and that was enough. That made sense, didn’t it? At least he couldn’t think of any other reason that would make sense.

A soft smile on his lips his eyes felt close and he fell asleep being softly rocked by the car. He felt so relaxed and wasn’t even bothered by their fight from the morning. His mom had always said that fighting and making up was what made people close. Once she had told him that she had fallen in love with his father like this. But she wouldn’t tell any more. She almost never spoke about his father. And he never asked. she was still hurting too much. Eijirou could understand. His heart throbbed too.

#throwinglemons #kiribaku #bakushima #bnha

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distant-rose · 6 years

Text

It Was Always You

Notes: I am a woman of my word and may the record reflect that. I promised @forestiyari a gift if she completed some productive tasks and that gift is this little one-shot here. I’ve taken some cues from the wonderful @katie-dub and started a policy of positive enforcement. Which is why she’ll get a ficlet too if she ever finishes her fic. It’s sappy but I know that Amy loves fuckstruck!Killian and cop AUs and this kinda has those elements. This is more bounty hunter!Emma and detective!Killian. I apologize for the Killian focus on this, Amy, but I love him as much as you love Emma. Forgive me. A special thank to @welllpthisishappening for always being my cheerleader. I am nothing without your support. Summary: Four words completely change Emma Swan’s frienship with her favorite police detective Killian Jones when she drops off one of her skips on Valentine’s Day. Rating: T Word Count: 2,300+

As a bounty hunter in a big city, Emma has her choice of police districts to drop scum off at, but she has a preference for District D-14. This preference was born of a variety of reasons but mainly because it was close to her apartment and the fact its employees could actually brew a decent pot of coffee. It had absolutely nothing to do with the detectives who worked there, despite popular belief.

“Brought us another winner, eh Swan?” Detective Killian Jones asked as she unceremoniously pushed her perp onto his desk. He didn’t blink at the action, merely leaning back in his chair and chewed on the end of his pen as he regarded her. The perp in question let out a groan and glared at her. She ignored him in favor of giving the detective a smirk.

“Thought you would enjoy a Valentine’s Day gift.”

He eyed the tight red dress she wore with a tiny smirk of his own. “And what a gift it is. You look quite ravishing in red.”

“I meant the perp, Casanova,” she retorted with a roll of her eyes. Her words were stern but lacked heat. Detective Jones loved to flirt, but he was relatively harmless. He always backed off when she asked.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the thought, but I prefer my gifts to be, well, less criminally inclined. What did this guy do?”

“Oh you know, my favorite - credit card fraud, insurance fraud and hasn’t paid child support in two years. He’s quite the catch.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw as she listed off the perp’s less than stellar rap sheet. She had known Jones and his partner Nolan for three years and he always got this look whenever she brought in deadbeat dads. He seemed to have an intense hatred for them that Emma could only assume came stemmed from something personal.

“Right,” he sighed before he stood and yanked the man up by his collar. “Let me get Lover Boy here processed then I’ll get you the necessary paperwork, so you can finally pay your rent.”

“Actually rent is paid for this month. This guy is paying off my water bill.”

“I’ll make haste then. I would hate to deprive a lady of her hot water. It will only take a few moments. Make yourself at home,” he replied, nodding his head towards his swivel chair.

“Don’t mind if I do. New chair? Looks comfy.” She sat down in the chair in question, leaning back and grinning up at him.

“Only the best Ikea has to offer.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “You bought this yourself?”

“You really think BPD would spend money on the care and comfort of its detectives?” He snorted. “Come on, Swan, you know how it is. We had to pool the money ourselves for that bloody coffee machine you’re so fond of.”

“I know. I pitched.”

“Did you now?” He seemed surprised by this. She couldn’t imagine why. She was here all the time.

She shrugged, allowing herself to melt into the soft leather of the chair.

“I use it more than anyone else here, so I felt it was best that I threw in a few dollars.”

“You do seem to exist purely on coffee and poptarts, love.”

“Not true. I also feed on the tears of scumbags. They have great nutritional value.”

Detective Jones laughed at this. “Mercenary.”

“Bail bonds, actually. Get it right, Jones.”

“Can you please stop with the flirting and get on with the processing? I would like to be out of these cuffs now,” the perp gritted out through clenched teeth.

They both blinked, suddenly remembering Emma’s purpose for being at the station in the first place.

“Right,” Detective Jones said gruffly, pushing the man forward. “I’ll be back in a bit.” 

“I’ll be here,” she responded, picking up the stress ball on his desk and playing with it absently. She made a valiant effort not to watch his ass as he walked away with her perp. Jones had a swagger in his step that screamed confidence and Emma would be a liar if she said she didn’t enjoy it.

As the minutes ticked by, she finally noticed that Detective Nolan wasn’t present. She frowned. It wasn’t like him to not be on shift, especially during the week. Normally he made the wait more bearable by talking to her as he did his paperwork. She liked him a lot. He was like the big brother she never asked for and was always willing to lend an ear whenever she needed to vent about something, including his partner.

Along with her increasing boredom, she was beginning to regret wearing the thin jacket she had chosen to go along with her honey trap outfit. It looked great on her but didn’t do much against the bitter cold of Bostonian winter weather, even when she was indoors. Perhaps Jones wasn’t being glib when he said that BPD didn’t care much for the care and comfort of its officers. It was practically frigid.

She leaned back more in the chair, glancing up towards the ceiling. The back of her head made contact with Jones’s leather jacket - the same jacket that he had been offering and she had been refusing to use for the past three years. What she had seen as a symbol of Jones’s attempts of chivalry was suddenly a temptation.

He wouldn’t mind. That was the first thing that popped in her head. In fact, she was pretty sure he would like it. Perhaps too much. She bit her lip, mulling over what was more important getting warm or her pride.

She glanced around the station. No one was paying attention to her. It clenched her decision. She would wear the jacket, if only for a few moments to stave off the cold, then she would put it back and Jones would be none the wiser.

The smell of tobacco, rum and aftershave wafted up to her nose as she pulled the leather over her shoulders. She was shocked at how it seemed to swallow her person, especially since Jones wasn’t that tall. Unable to resist, she pulled the collar of the jacket to her nose and took a quick sniff.

“That’s a good look on you, love.”

She froze. Blood warmed her cheeks and a sense of mortification took hold. Taking advantage of the sliver of courage she still had, she glanced up at him, expecting to a teasing smirk or a flirty joke.

Jones wasn’t smirking. Or even smiling for that matter. He was looking at her like he had never seen her before; eyes watching her intently and shoulders tensed. She didn’t know exactly how to handle it.

Immediately, she pulled at the sleeves. His eyes widened when he realized what she was doing, and he stepped forward, raising a hand.

“Don’t.”

She paused, looking back up at him.

“Don’t,” he repeated. “Leave it on. It looks like you need it more than I do. Please.”

“You sure? It’s fucking cold in here.”

He shrugged, dropping the processing documents in front of her and casually dropping back in Nolan’s chair. His eyes never lost their intensity, still focused on her. She was almost ashamed at the fact it made her squirm a bit in her seat.

“The cold doesn’t bother me,” he said after a moment. “I’m kinda used it.”

“Good for you, Elsa.”

He smiled at her response and the strange feeling in her chest lightened at the sight of it. Some of the odd tension that between them lifted alongside his lips, which she was grateful for.

“Where’s Nolan?” She asked, trying to further expel the weird energy between them.

“Ah. He’s out with the lovely Miss Mary Margaret. No doubt romancing her with a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates and a very expensive meal at an overpriced restaurant.”

“Sucks that he took time off while you’re stuck here.”

“Actually, I wasn’t supposed to be on rotation. I volunteered to take this shift. My mate Will, or Detective Scarlet as you know him, was supposed to be working but I took it from him, so he could finally perform that half-baked proposal he’s been putting off for weeks.”

Emma’s jaw dropped.

“You seriously volunteered to work the Valentine’s Day shift? For real?”

“Of course,” he replied, giving her an odd look. “It’s not like I have someone to share it with.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. I mean, look at you. There has to be at least a dozen women who would want to lock you down,” she responded, gesturing towards him.

Jones tilted back in his seat, letting out the most boisterous laugh she had ever heard. When he glanced back at her, his amusement was still quite evident on his face.

“Did you just insinuate I’m attractive, Swan?”

“Oh please, cut the bullshit. You know you are.”

“You’re right. I’m quite devilishly handsome, aren’t I?” His eyes twinkled with mischief as he spoke.

“Don’t push it,” she snorted. “But seriously, there has to be someone you’re remotely interested in.”

He sobered at bit at her comment, the tension in his shoulders returning.

“Oh, I am.”

“And?”

“She’s turned me down. Multiple times.”

“She tell you why?”

“No, actually. I just assume she’s not interested, which is fine. She deserves much better than the likes of me,” he replied with a self-deprecating smile.

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. She deserves the best.”

As he spoke, an odd emotion wormed itself into her chest and she was surprised with how uncomfortable she was about Jones being hung up on some unknown woman. It wasn’t like he was hers.

“Well, I think you’re pretty great. And maybe you should ask her again,” she responded with a tight smile.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Maybe, she’ll realize that she made a mistake.”

Jones regarded her intently for a moment, picking up the rubber band ball on Nolan’s desk and started toying with it in his palm. It was a nervous habit of his that she had long since picked up.

“Do you like Italian?”

She couldn’t hold back her surprise at the change in subject. She didn’t know where he was going with this, but she decided to humor him. “Yeah. Who doesn’t?”

“There’s a really nice Italian place three blocks from here. A bit on the expensive side but worth it. Family owned. Would you like to go to dinner with me?”

Her jaw dropped at the question. She stared at him for a long moment, trying to find words but failing.

“I’m sorry? What?”

“You. Me. Good Italian. Tonight.”

“I’m so confused right now. We were just talking about how you’re hung up on some woman and how you should ask her out again and now you’re asking me out. I don’t understand.”

“Don’t you know, Swan?” he asking, eyes softening alongside his voice. “It was always you.”

All air seemed to rush out of her lungs as he spoke. The stress ball fell from her fingers with a faint thud but she barely acknowledged it. Not once in their entire conversation had she suspected the woman he was so hung on to be her. She always knew he found her attractive and enjoyed talking to her but never had she realized that his feelings had beyond simple flirtation and friendship.

It was true in the past that she had turned him down. He had frequently asked her to go for drinks with him after his shift, but he had always taken her rejection with an air of nonchalance, as if it had meant nothing.

Obviously that wasn’t the case if this declaration was as sincere as it seemed. Emma was a suspicious creature by nature, something her ex had left her with alongside her son. Immediately she began reviewing all of her interactions with Jones in her mind. Little things that she had always seen as signs of loyal friendship now seemed major. He had offered to look after Henry when she went to New York. He had encouraged her to get her degree in Criminal Justice when she had all but written off going back to school as too expensive. He had walked her through filing her restraining order against Neal. He had done all of this with asking for anything in return.

“I’ve gone and scared you, haven’t I?”

“I…” She couldn’t find the words. She couldn’t believe she had been so blind.

Jones was watching her intently, lips pulled into a tight frown. She had never seen him look so nervous. He placed the rubber band ball back down on Nolan’s desk.

“Right…” He looked away, tugging on his ear. “Look, Swan, I wasn’t proposing…I’m not even asking for you to return my feelings. I was just hoping to have dinner with someone I have come to care about. Look, just forget I said anything. I don’t want to make this awkward and ruin the dynamic that we’ve made. I value your friendship and I would do anything to keep it, I just” - “Yes.”

He blinked at her, obviously not comprehending what she had said. “What?”

“Yes,” she repeated. “I’ll go to dinner with you. At the excellently expensive family Italian place. And we can talk. As long as there’s cannolis. There’s cannolis, right?”

He stared at her again for a few moments. Slowly, a blinding smile spread across his lips and if her breath hadn’t been stolen by his words, it would have been taken by his smile.

“Yes, love, there’s cannolis.”

“Excellent.” She leaned back in his chair, regarding him with a small smirk. “I also have another condition.”

“Anything.”

“I get to keep the jacket.”

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fic #cs fanfic #my fic #my shit #it was always you

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financiallymint · 6 years

Text

I asked 42 students about Personal Finance. Here’s what they said + Resource Pack

Personal Finance is a subject which is not talked about enough in college; students graduate unprepared and are hit with money issues they didn’t even see coming (I actually have to pay back my education???). And that’s simply because we don’t have financial education in the curriculum.

So I went on Tumblr and asked 42 students what exact areas of personal finance do they wish they knew more about. Although some answers won’t surprise you, the general trend might. That’s why I ask you not to read each answer (although feel free to do so), but to skim the page noticing the words in bold.

I asked these 42 awesome students this exact question:

What do you, as a college student, wish you knew more about in terms of money and finance?

…here are their answers:

Alice Young: Whenever I have any doubts on money for example taxes etc and have tried asking my bank, their attitude has often been that I’m just a student and I never seem to get a full answer to a question I ask. I am clueless about most things on the finance side, I guess we aren’t told much about it at university and I always think I’ll learn things as and when I need to, really.

Adult Talk: I definitely would say that I wish I knew more about credit cards before coming in to college because I had to spend hours doing research before I applied for a credit card. I didn’t know anything about the interest rate, when you were charged for interest, how much you started with, etc. because my mom never had a credit card. What I wish I knew more about now would be student loans because I’ve never taken out one and if I need to in the future I’ll have to speak to a financial adviser and do research again.

Ampersand-study: I’d really like to learn more about taxes, it’s ridiculous how little is said about them at school. And maybe finances related to work? Stuff like different key terms, budgeting, different types of bank accounts, a bit of student finance…

Seachellstudies: I wish I knew more about banks, credit cards and paying for stuff more. Every time I want to purchase something I have trouble because im very unfamiliar with these financial stuff

Crispacademic: I wish I knew more about ways to make money without working corporate and as a full time student. Does taking paid surveys pay off? Should i think about opening a mini business? What are ways i can earn some side money without killing myself with stress?

Stuuuuuuddyyy: TAXES, I have no idea how they operate. And I’m pretty sure my previous employer was doing me out of money for this exact reason.

Studysydney: So for me, I wish I knew more about how a student loan will impact me financially in the future, for example will it affect me getting a mortgage? A car? I’m worried how a large debt may prevent me from having these things. I also worry about how I can budget and how much I will need to survive at university.

Triana-studies: For me personally, it would definitely be how credit works and credit cards. Students aren’t taught about the basics of finance unless they start taking a course on it and we college students are smack in the middle of it all, what with getting our first debut and credit cards and taking student loans. But i would love to see more info on credit as it is so important for young people to start establishing credit as soon as they can and it smart ways.

Istudiously: So i would say what I wish I knew more about (although i have learned by doing haha) is like paying bills and writing checks and like opening a bank account and all that stuff, we never learned about stuff like this in school :/

Neuroticmedblr: I honestly wish I knew more about the different types of student loans and repayment options back in undergrad lol. Good luck with your mega post!

Optomstudies: I guess basic accounting? Like making sure accounts check out and double entry?

Samstudygram: budgeting: going from being completely dependent on my parents’ funds to being pretty much financially independent was like a shock. i realized that i had no idea whatsoever how to decide how much i should be spending on groceries, toiletries, clothes, etc. and i learned the hard way that trying to figure out your personal finances once you’re already on your own is tough. figure out how much money you have (as well as your income if you’re going to have a job or be getting financial support from your family) and figure out how much you will allow yourself to spend on groceries, toiletries, gas, discretionary things (like clothes and eating out), as well as how much you need to be saving.

Sweaters-tea-studying: But still I try my best to save where I can and I wish I knew more methods of saving money and financial tips from people, and for school to really educate younger students how to manage money wisely. My parents had always dealt with managing the money so as a college student, fresh out of home, I do find myself spending money a little bit overboard sometimes. I struggle to use money in a stable way and in a wise way without kind of yoyo-ing around, spending it on shopping and then skipping meals to make up for it.

whenstudyblooms: I think that being frugal is important but it’s very easy to forget about saving money. Especially when hs students are preparing for college; not only do they have to prep academically but also financially. I’m not an expert with the financial aspect, so I would like to know the best way to balance money between spending on different things when I get into college.

notebooks-are-my-bestfriend: and to answer your question, I would say the hardest part is budgeting. In the UK, the student loan comes through according to the universities semester/term and once the loan is deposited in the bank account, it is so easy to spend it on stuff you don’t need. So, I would say that hardest part financially is budgeting and not knowing what to do with big sums of money.

studying-minerva: Taxes, Credit Cards, Managing savings, and how to get the most out of your budget.

warmhealer: I guess I would say taxes? I think that’s something that is never explained in an accessible way.

merostudies: I don’t know enough about taxes (specifically, what is the limit one can make and still get all of their taxes returned; also, how tf do you fill out Turbo Tax). My student loans have been fairly straightforward, but my parents figured that out and explained it to me and we didn’t have to take out much so it’s been fine. For credit cards, I’ve also been good. So I guess mostly taxes are the confusing part to me, but overall I can’t say I have a lot of experience in anything since my parents were a huge help.

biologee: i think that what i struggled with the most was with having to take out a loan. i didn’t feel as if i’d been prepared for this since i knew nothing about the different types of loans and which one was better for what i wanted and the lifestyle i was looking for. i remember feeling super overwhelmed when i first started researching, and i wished somebody would have told me beforehand what to look for or even what most of the words i was reading meant. the other thing was preparing an actual budget after receiving my loan. i was living by myself for the first time so i had to factor in rent, food, water and energy, everything! so balancing that with how much money i could spend on my studies and on myself was a bit rough for me in the beginning (and sometimes still).

badasstudies: I wish there was more open information and education in schools about funding and how to approach it because it’s scary.

bokuto-studying: Good evening! I’m from Belarus and I would be interested to know about taxesin other countries

futuredentist: I’d probably say that I wish i knew more about all the bursaries available from universities to help with financial difficulty etc. A lot of the time, students aren’t aware of the financial help available to them and they end up struggling a lot.

studyingbackthen: I wish I’d known more about how UK student loans affect your financial future. Students with loans are finding that they can’t get mortgages and the like despite assurances that student loans wouldn’t affect this. It wouldn’t have altered my decision to go to uni but students need to be made aware of the reality of £50k of debt and have the chance to seek other sources of financial support through college.

Sapphire-studies: to have a student budget planner which lets you know everything you may possibly have to pay for so its less unknown what your costs will be when you start. let you know you’ll need to put down a deposit when you start renting somewhere, and that you may have to account for formals and buying presents and other little things you forget about and add up to a lot.

studyelement: Mainly I wish there was a one-credit course, or some sort of seminar explaining exactly how your student loans work, and what will happen after college. At the moment, students are taking out large loans and not realizing the consequences or how to prepare to pay these loans once they leave college.

Isabella-study: I think students should know more about term deposits.

Nightlystudying: What I struggle most with is probably taxes, medical costs and insurance costs (as well as food heh). I especially wish I would have known more about all the different kinds of insurances and which ones I really need!

Universtudy: I definitely would choose how to make investments (RRSPs, etc.) because it’s a big part of planning for the future, but you need certain skills to invest wisely and not everyone has those skills, so it’s hard to learn and plan for!

Overworker: anything to do with taxes would be useful-how to pay, which ones you need to pay etc. But also stuff about investing/saving, what’s the safest way to invest or keep money if you’re trying to save, what’s risky place to keep your money.

lillastudies: I really wish that there was some basic education about how student loans work and how you will be paying them back, not to mention how to take advantage of them in the best/most efficient way… because when you’re new to student loans, the whole process can be super confusing and way more stressful than it has tonne!! Also, some sort of education around credit cards and how they work would be great too, because it’s not necessarily common knowledge…

rowanstudysspace: I wish I knew more about student bank accounts and student overdraft actually. Also general stuff about loans, but I guess it’s different for everyone from different countries?

sophocused: I’m most worried I’ll be clueless about taxes when the time comes though

koko-studies: I guess learning about taxes a little bit more can be useful. I think it will be particularly useful for students in Canada because one of my friends studies there and she has to calculate her taxes. I think students should know how to manage their loans.

danceractorplumber: I noticed that people usually don’t know about available scholarships and financial help programs. This probably falls under student loans, but in my country college is free, so idk. But as an art student – I need to know how to ask different organisations and foundations for funds for my projects. You know, how to write an application, ask professors for recommendations and whom to ask, for how much. It can be very complicated.

study-by-heart: I think the most interesting thing about finance and beeing a student is, how to set up a decent budget for yourself and to develop some strategies in order to save some coins.

motivatemycollegelife: How can I save money? What are the things that I buy but are unnecessary? How can I control my income without wasting it?

quaintstudies: i think i would love to know more about investements & stocks, and how to plan my savings for the long run

just-refuse-to-be-stopped: I wish I knew how damaged my credit score would become. I never realized it would affect my day to day life this much in the near future. But also to try to give when you’re been given. Don’t let that initial fear of seeing the numbers make you question. It only matters if you’re happy with what you’re working towards.

wanderluststudyblr: It would be nice if people told us about Taxes – what, how, why, credit cardsin regards to HOW EXACTLY do they work (and how to not be broke and not get in trouble w/the bank), and about Student Loans!! Loans are something like, “alright, I know it’s a THING, but HOW do they work?”, like, how long they usually take to pay off (it depends on the money, yeah, but we have little to no conversations about them!), how much interest can pile up, how long you should pay them off in – to save money and stuff. I think student loans are the thing that really isn’t talked about – and I know little to nothing about.

thefashionableintrovert: I think what I wish I had known more about is budgeting for a side-hustle or job and creating invoices and clear payment plans as an entrepreneur for clients/customers. For example if I do graphic design for a small business how will I go about charging? Per-Project or per hour.

studydriven: Honestly everything! I know next to nothing about finance except that college is expensive and taxes are a thing. I should probably take an online finance course or something before I leave home haha.

S-u-u-n-y-blr: I wish I knew more about taxes. I still don’t know how to properly file them and have my dad do them. I was taught how to balance a checkbook in high school but not how to do taxes!

Do you know how many times the word ‘taxes’ appears? 18 times. And ‘student loans’? Or ‘budgeting’? I haven’t counted but I know it’s a lot.

It genuinely pains me to see how badly the schools educate us on money, one of the biggest factors of our lives. We work for money, we spend our money, we live on our money. And yet most of us have no idea how to manage it!

If you’re a college student, understanding the importance of being financially literate will help you manage your debt, save and earn money and learn how to reach financial freedom, in other words be able to do what you enjoy. And it all starts with financial education.

The real question then becomes: how do I financially educate myself? Well, fret not, as I have pitched in and created this MEGA Personal Finance Resource Pack for college students wanting answers to all their finance questions. It’s a huge compilation of content ranging from understanding taxes (about time) to inspiring student debt success stories.

All you have to do: enter your email below and voila, you have THE guide to starting your financial education, aka your path to freedom. (Oh and the Resource Pack has resources for both UK and US students :))

Some of the students I asked also pitched in with some advice they’d give to fellow students going through college. I thought it would be great to share here:

Adult Talk: A piece of financial advice I’d like to give: apply for all the scholarships and the FAFSA as soon as you can. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough to cover my expenses but I did. It’s super important that you apply for anything you can and as soon as you can.

Triana-studies: A small way for an example would be to make your big purchases for school, like all of your text books, with a credit card. You use those expenses from school to slowly build some good credit.

Samstudygram:

if you don’t start building your credit early, you’ll have a hard time later on because of a low credit score. so start sooner rather than later and just get a card from your bank with a relatively low max. try and stay below 20% of it’s max and treat it as a debit card (only spend what you KNOW you have. don’t start accumulating debt because you have to pay it eventually). this will help you get a jump start on your credit score.

paying for college: student loans, scholarships, fafsa, it’s all a lot to take in. if you can, figure it out before your first bill comes in. ask a parent or a school counselor to help run you through everything because there’s a LOT.

know how your college will want payments. some colleges split the cost of tuition up over the whole semester so you owe about $2,000 per month, while others want all $10,000 (or however much tuition is) all in august. also find out if your college can set up a payment plan to help slow things down for you if you need to.

the sooner you start saving, the better. not just for college, but for living. the first time i was on my own and went grocery shopping, when i saw my total on the register i bursted into tears. i knew food was expensive but not this expensive. if you start saving now, you’ll be able to have money for necessities and maybe even the occasional chipotle. also save for emergencies. once i figured out my budgeting i felt confident in my finances. for once i wasn’t scared to look at my bank account. and then i went out to my car and discovered two parking tickets; and THEY AINT CHEAP. saving money could help you out if you get sick, get a flat tire, get a ticket, if your computer breaks, etc. because IT WILL HAPPEN. so do what you can to be ready.

scholarships: they can be hard to get. but don’t worry; as you get farther through university there will be more and more scholarship opportunities (and they’ll give you more and more money). if you don’t get any scholarships your first year, don’t worry. it’s not the end of the world. because as long as you keep applying and keep your gpa you qualify for more and more as you get older.

community college: there’s NO SHAME in starting out at a community college (or even going there for your whole degree). while the education quality may not be up to par with ivy league schools, a credit is a credit and community college can give you a credit for WAY cheaper than a state university.

don’t stress it. college is expensive. everyone knows that. It sucks that it is, but it’s just our reality. but YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT. there’s scholarships, fafsa, work study, etc. that can all help you out. don’t let financial fears scare you away from getting an education.

As a college student myself, I also get the frustrations of not understanding the financial world. All I know for the moment is we have to keep learning and keep exploring. And then money will stop becoming an issue, it will become an interest, a hobby even.

Read more like this over at Financially Mint

#taxes #student finance #college students #financial diy mentality

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cosmicsynthetics · 6 years

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Heyo to all my followers or anybody else who’s here! It’s still kinda crazy to think that I’ve been freelancing for about 9 months now. I wasn’t sure how jumping right into self-employment would go, but for all the financial difficulty, it’s proven to be very rewarding and is something I’ve wanted to do since I was very, very young. I know that awhile ago, I already advertised my Patreon, but I’d like to say some things and pass it around again. I’m going to add a READ MORE, but I’d appreciate it if you took a look - it’s very important to me. It’s relevant to whether or not I’ll be able to keep producing content.

This year’s been (and likely will continue to be for some time) a crazy one in terms of money, health, and immigration matters. Here’s a list of things that have already happened or will happen that @altamaranempire (Jess) and I are dealing with that have kept our backs against the wall this year:

My old laptop totally died, which required me to buy a new one.

Jess’ old harddrive died, which required us to buy a new one and pay for installation (her laptop is a macbook). This same computer is currently having other technical issues that will need fixing. Right now, you literally have to open up the back, unplug the battery, reset the SMC, and unplug the powercord a couple of times every time you want to boot it.

I still need to pay for data recovery to get my old art back from the dead computer. There’s way too much on there for me to afford permanently loosing, so this is an eventuality.

The breaks on my old car finally went, which cost me both tow and a new (used) vehicle. This used vehicle now needs its own repairs done.

I needed to set up a new car insurance policy because my father no longer wanted me on his (I paid for my portion and always did so on time. He said I was too old to be on it, but I suspect he just didn’t like the confusion of me having to make a separate payment from him). This made insurance more expensive for me.

I took out a renter’s insurance policy for Jess and I to insure our computers and the basics, because this apartment is and has always been prone to problems with water damage, mold, and crappy insulation. It’s the cheapest place we can afford ($790 a month not including electricity/heating), and we do not have the savings for a house yet.

Jess had to get some medical tests done and also got very sick for a bit near the beginning of this year shortly after everything else above. She is not yet able to qualify for medicaid because of her immigration status, so this collectively cost us a bit.

Jess and I still need to go through the final steps to get her PERMANENT residency card (her current is a 2 year conditional). That will cost in the ballpark of $600 NOT counting biometrics if they want those again. This also doesn’t count the second “immigration interview”, which was horrendous last time and involved a lot of uncomfortable interrogation regarding our sexuality in relevance to the legitimacy of our marriage. I really hope they waive that this time, especially during this presidency, because I think it was much more cruel than warranted.

I’m trying to sort out some health things on my end. I’m getting tested for sleep apnea soon and I’ve lost a lot of weight which SHOULD be good but I’m keeping an eye on it considering how little I exercise and how I wasn’t all that overweight to begin with. I’ve been put on birth control pills as well to help stop my lifelong issues with near-debilitating dysmenorrhea, and even then I’m probably going to have to bounce between some different kinds. I think the current one I’m trying is literally causing hair loss and huge spikes in anxiety that I’ve never dealt with before. Think wanting to cry at least once on most days.

Simply put, since January, our savings took a huge hit and it’s been one hell of a job recovering that money, let alone staying on top of all our utility bills and rent while keeping ourselves in good shape. We already live off of 50 cent tinned veggies, powdered milk, big boxes of bulk ramen noodles for all sorts of cooking purposes, discount bread, etc. Everything we buy has to be less than a dollar or otherwise very, very worth the money. This has put me in a tough position. Though Jess will probably continue doing her commissions and art no matter what as the one with medically diagnosed anxiety and autistic spectrum disorder, if we have to buckle down too hard for art to handle, I’ll be the first one going back into a low wage, long hour job. I do not want to go back to that kind of environment unless there’s literally no other way. I didn’t realize how stressed, overtired, and generally miserable I was until getting out of that 3 year cycle of grinding retail work to pursue art. Honestly, I’ve found this more fulfilling than anything else I’ve done with myself, and I want to keep doing it. Please understand that if I need to return to “regular” work, you will be seeing very little of me. There will be very few or no slinks - there will be no other adopts - there will be no commissions - there will be very little or no “for fun” art involving my worldbuilds - and that is the last thing I want to happen. Both my art and my audience mean so, so much to me, so that’s why I’m making this post and putting all this info out there. If you want or need MORE information on all this, contact me or @altamaranempire and we’ll be happy to fill you in and provide details, receipts, etc. I promise this is not a trawl for $$$cashcashmoney$$$; I just wanna be able to do a job that makes me happy and makes YOU GUYS happy. SO, YOU WANT TO HELP? THEN YOU CAN:

Reblog this post and/or my commission info and Jess’ commission info! Reaching out to as many people as possible is essential to keeping a business alive - even tiny ones like ours.

Reblog art of mine and/or Jess’! I know you guys are out there faveing, but I see very few reblogs. They really do make a big difference, so if you really like something, sharing it would mean the world to me!

Commission art from us! As usual, our commissions are always open, but this is becoming make-or-break, especially for me. Feel free to poke us on tumblr or any of our other accounts.

Become a patron on my Patreon! Having a monthly assurance of some sort of income, however small, takes some of the stress off. You might get a little something for it too! I may expand my Patreon a bit with more interesting rewards/Patreon specific content updates if everything works out and I manage to make some more $$$.

Donate to my Ko-fi! Don’t worry if it’s tiny - any amount will help us. Remember, $3 is SIX CANS of veggies for us!! A few days of food if necessary.

✒ My COMMISSIONS are always OPEN! ✒ ▶ Check out my Tumblr commission page OR my DA exclusives commission page for more information! Message me anytime with your questions or requests. ▶ I’ve also got a Patreon! If you enjoy my content, please consider becoming a patron. Every dollar counts. ▶ Lastly, here’s my Ko-fi if you feel like making a donation. Thank you! <3

#Notice #Important #Patreon #very important #signal boost #commission info #commission #commissions #cscommission #cscommissions #signalboost #Any and all help of any kind is appreciated!#I love you guys and I want to have a chance to put out more art #more worldbuild #more story #and I'm not going to be able to do that without your support

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taimatrolls · 6 years

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Hey everyone, hate to do this but I’m in deep trouble:

Isn’t Christmas just the best time of the year to be broke?

So some week ago I learned that I have more or less 800$ of taxes (6500SEK) that I need to somehow pay by 26:th December or it will be sent to Kronofogden, which basically means I’ll be marked for years to come in a register and things like getting loans or an apartment will turn nearly impossible.

How did this dumbass get into this trouble you ask?

Well, I first got the notice about taxes way back in August, you know, when I had a job. A good job I enjoyed. Then I got fired suddenly with just two-three days notice when I thought I’d have a job for an entire year. Deep dive into stress over other bills like rent and food and desperately trying to get a new job while depression comes creeping, I honestly forgot about the taxes because it wasn’t due til November. I thought I had paid it. I hadn’t. Long story short.

And the money I do have is stuck in hell (another account w/ savings I can’t touch without paperwork and I’m working on getting that sent off but I need to wait for them to send me the papers first, then fill in and send them back, through snail mail............. And after that there’s a waiting time and I just don’t think it’ll make it to my account in time. It’s ridiculous and I want to scream.)

Well jeez Taima, that’s fucked up but why are you telling us this?

Listen, I know there is no way I can expect to make this much money in such a short time just with commissions and adopts, but I would like to do as much as I can on my own since I’d like to avoid crawling to my parents about this... Or at least, I don’t want to crawl with the full sum to them, if I could just get it down a little bit that would be amazing.

Especially as I have commissions just waiting to be done too. I’m way over my head. But I have to do what I can. Expect me to reblog a bunch of commission-things soon and opening up additional slots.

[Regular Commission Info] [”Cutie-style” Commission Info] [Custom Adoptables] [Adopt Calendar] [Animal Portraits] [Design Cleanout] [Adopt Batches] [Paypal.me]

Commissions will be worked on as soon as I’m back home from Christmas-celebrations with my family Dec 27.

#taimatalk #money crisis //#help #me: putting off doing this forever #I hate having to ask for help I'm so sorry #drags hands down my face

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anyu-blue · 3 years

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🥀

Tevellon(aka Tevie): omg Meek! You have so much in your account!!! Why are you so worried??? 😂😂😂 Why can't you buy the ($800) package for yourself for your birthday, omg? 😂😂😂

Me:

....

$1,755, yeah?

Let's see...

$860- rent

$300- cellphone bill

$300- Power Bill

$56- Water bill

$75- internet bill

$75- cat care bill

$40- collection agency bill (from bumping a car 2 or 3 years ago)

$10- homeowners insurance.

...

Normally I have a $65 bill for student loans too, but luckily they're still furloughed for the moment. So...

That leaves me with $39 left over.

Tevellon: O-oh haha 😅

Me: I CAN'T afford the gift I wanted... Or any of them, really.

Tevellon: But the stimulus-!

Me: I checked to see why mine has been delayed... There's nothing- system can't find me. So it possible I won't be getting it- and look what happened at the capital today. Think the delays are going to stop?

Tevellon: But-

Me: And besides, I've been told I'm losing my hours soon- the co-worker I'm covering for is feeling better. IF I get anything I need to be prepared to save it for bills for the month I'll be scrambling to find something/work.

Tevellon: ... I forgot rent needed to pull... But I get paid this Friday! You can-

Me: No. I appreciate your offer, but you know I have my reasons. Bills. Nothing more.

Tevellon: Meek-

Me: We've been through this. Enough. I'm done talking to you.

~~~~

Tevie has recently (as in at the beginning of December) also decided she's done paying for groceries for everyone (I don't blame her, I wouldn't want to pay for my new diet of vitamins and expensive/better food either. $100 a week adds up) and has been having a ball with her stimulus buying Valentine's day gifts for everyone besides me (I'm too picky, don't like Valentine's day, and have a low key anger when she spends so MUCH money so easily near me that it's put her off I feel)...

W0lf.exe, our younger sister, already has plans to spend any extra she makes/gets on continuing to upgrade her computer.

And they wonder why I bristle all the time when buying shit comes up. Or why I get so nervous when MY funds are low.

Tevie cannot fathom not buying stupid stuffed animals and marked up food and shit Evey God damned week either- which is where all her damn money goes I feel. Gods.. HOW many new Elsa dolls has she gotten in the last month? And TY stuffies? She brought home 4 in the last two days!!! These things are NOT cheap!! And she has DOZENS sitting on boxes in her room- recently bought a 8 cubbie bookshelf shelf to put up JUST for those stuffies she has so many!! She already has one filled to overflowing with books, one with DVDs, and one spilling over with figurines. Her video games are stacked under her tv because she's go no place for them on any other shelf!!

She has $200 in her account right now. Someone who makes over 11/hr (it's more than that but idk how much higher. I THINK she's up to $13/hr but we'll go with $11/hr) and gets at LEAST 3 hours of overtime a week (time and a half) means she gets oooh... 1,602 a month after taxes with those figures?

Her bills and groceries (which I've highballed/added together at the maximum they ever are) come out to $1,105 a month.... Sooo... $297 from regular pay AND the $600 she JUST got.. just.. GONE. SPENT. NOTHING to show for it. (And a reminder that she definitely makes more than I added up here so she's actually spent more than that too.. yeah)

I get it. I do. I've got the problem too of Oo! Has moneys! Buy the things before you'll never be able to again! ... It's why I was even LOOKING at a birthday gift for myself. A high quality long lasting investment at that... But I can settle for something under $10 for myself/as a gift for someone else at the end of the month if I can afford it. I've done it for long enough. Literally every other penny goes to food and bills. That $10 at the end of the month for something extra is designed to help me keep my sanity.. SOMETHING to look forward to. I don't work much due to my struggles, so I don't have much to play with or save.

I'm glad they're happy on some level too because I do get it... And it's their money to do exactly what it is they please with. They spent more than enough time working for it.

But it still PISSES ME OFF that neither of my sisters ACTUALLY pay attention and just spend spend spend all their money away so long as they have enough for bills (which they wait until their last paycheck of the month to have together-- do you KNOW how BAD that is?! Especially if something happens and you can't or don't work as much as I'd needed?!)

...

There's many reasons everyone thinks I'm the eldest. I do carry my stress less gracefully than my siblings, but I also have the knowledge and the haunt of it truly weighing on me. Luckily my sisters don't... Even if it leads to their doom or stress in the end, because they haven't experienced it yet... They're happy now. On top of the world.

I've told them my feelings and why I think what they do is in bad taste, more or less. I've offered my money management AND economical cooking services to both who have complained they never have anything saved up, always are buying expensive food at work, and don't know how to get what they want as well as save (it's possible, believe me!).. Tevie even asked for help once! I told her just to bring me what she wanted help with and I'd break it down for her as best I could.... Well she never did. And now refuses to because I 'need to just focus on [me] and not worry about anybody else.'

Bitch... YOU AND YOUR SPENDING PROBLEMS DO NOT HELP WITH MY STRESS AND ISSUES I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.

It's whatever.. just on my mind today. Not technically my problem.. but I'm mad that promised help and safety nets are actually non-existent.

We're CLEARLY FINE. Please don't fret. We're fine. We'll always be 'fine' thanks to someone else willing to help when things are dire at the very least...

It's just... If we ALL were as damned careful as I am (I know I HAVE to be because of my issues- issues they don't have).. and heck even willing to share as has been promised (I DO share whatever I can, but at the moment I'm HEAVILY considering retracting my sharing because.. well... Food is expensive.. and now I'm not getting help to pay for it on top of it all.. and don't want to starve because I'm allergic to what my sisters like to whim buy... So...)... We'd be GREAT even..

But they're not. They don't want to be or have personal reasons to be very careful.

So here we are.

...

I don't want to admit this because it looks bad.. but I feel it's important to.

In my stress I've regressed into not using my lights the last few weeks. Tevie talking with me and being so.. ignorant of costs has only made me wish to be MORE careful.

I've got old candles and lighters and stuff, my phone on battery saver for moving around, and two (maybe 3 if I can find the other one) old dollar store push button lights when I'm too tired to deal with fire or waste my phone's battery... Turned down my little basement heater too. I'd turn it off entirely, but I know that would probably kick our forced air heating system up even just a little bit. Also being more careful with my water consumption. Small baths and rinses rather than regular showers, plus being careful when flushing is needed... Just to try and see if I can help our bills be a tiny fraction lower.

This was something I did as a kid and teenager when my mother would yell and scream about the bills. And when her Ex would berate us for leaving a light on in a room for a second while we went to grab something or something. The light thing only stopped when I got yelled at for being in the bathroom in the dark too much which meant people walked in on me a lot. Don't have to worry about that here because I've got my own.

If that stimulus doesn't come through for me either and my hours drop, I feel I'll probably sell my PS4 if I feel I need to. It wasn't something I actually wanted at all- just something Lon wanted me to have- and not a single person has used it since the end of October so... It's not really important at all. I'm tempted to sell my computer because it's worth at least $1,000 (custom build, all new parts from my ex), but I know I'll get kicked in the teeth for that one because I do use it and have such a nice desk for it. So PS4 and VR it is if it comes down to it.

I know how crazy and awful I sound. I do. I know. Especially Because we ARE fine right now... But this is where I'm at again mentally. And I have to deal with it on my own because everyone else gets sick of it and my stubbornly refusing nice things when my funds start to or threaten to dwindle. (I'd rather have $800 in the bank than a new gadget, Tevie 😠 take the hint!!)

I know we're 'fine'. I know Tevie gets mad at me when I start selling things instead of asking her to spend her money on my bills... But... Honestly.. with the trauma I have gone through and can't seem to stop going through, it's my defense. It's what I've got.

Tevie is EXACTLY as guilty as everyone else in our lives for being super DUPER pissed when asked for help. When her livelihood is threatened. So I don't WANT to bother even if I need to.

If someone doesn't want to spend their money on something or someone... They're going to get pissy and maybe, just maybe.. hold it over your damn head. It's why I feel so stuck all the time... Hyper independence and all that...

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #I'm just regressing into old habits born kf trauma #don't worry about it #I'm aware if it #but I'm the one not stopping myself so seriously don't worry about it #text post #read more #long text tw #long text post #money #money tw #venting #just me being crazy

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unheathyseoulfood · 7 years

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Aphrodisiac pt 2

Originally posted by melanielovesgaysempai

Description : You finally meet with the man who’s in love with the taste of your blood. Needless to say he wasn’t what you’d expected.

Pairing : Jin x reader

Word Count : 2,356

a/n : It took a long ass time, the writer’s block was real. But here’s part 2. Special thanks to @themansdemsuga for the much needed assistance.

part one

“… a mutual agreement between two parties, a human and a vampire, in which the human donor supplies the vampire with a fresh supply of blood for consumption on a regular basis, which may differ with each individual based on the personal preferences of the vampire and the health and willingness of the donor. There are two main ways in which this blood supply may be given. The first is when the donor comes to the clinic and has his or her blood extracted by a nurse, after which it is bagged and delivered to the vampire. This is the method that is preferred by most donors, and is recommended,in the early stages of the contract. However, as time progresses and the donor and vampire become familiar with each other and develop a relationship, they may switch to the second and more, intimate, method which involves the vampire drinking directly from the body of the donor, which in most if not all cases will trigger a strong, if not overwhelming, sexual desire within ….”

You averted your eyes, effectively preventing yourself from reading the rest of the article you had found in the midst of one of many searches you had conducted in the week since you’d spoken to Dr. Choi. It still seemed a little weird that someone wanted to pay money ( a lot of it from what you’d read) to drink your blood, as if it was some fine wine or some shit like that. It made you… curious? Intrigued maybe. It’s probably what lead you to giving the clinic permission to give Mr. Kim, as you’d discovered his name was, your number so that he could contact you to discuss this whole thing. You had so many questions. There were things that the articles didn’t explain or clarify on.

Despite how skeptical you were, you needed the money that he would give you. You had searched and still hadn’t found a job. All the places within a 3 mile radius that hired students had either hired enough persons already or weren’t accepting applications. If this didn’t work out you were screwed. You’d exhausted all of your emergency savings and you were already paying off a loan from the bank. Even if you managed to somehow miraculously get a job, you doubted that the pay would allow you to keep paying for your tuition, the loan and the rent for the apartment. Even though it was in the more, run down, side of town and it wasn’t necessarily the safest place, (you were reminded of the fact every night when the sound of sirens were almost constant), it was still a roof over your head.

Once again, you seriously contemplated dropping out after this semester finished, since you already paid for it. You grunted and rolled over, pressing your face into your pillow at the thought. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes out of sheer frustration, you bit into the flesh of your bottom lip in an attempt to hold them in but they still spilled over, and you were just too tired to even try holding them back after that. You’d always been a stress crier… and an ugly one at that.

Sadly, your little pity session was cut short by the annoying sound of your ring tone.

“Hello?”. You winced at the sound of your voice as it came out rough and thick, breaking a little at the end.

“Y/N?”, the unfamiliar voice at the other end of the line questioned.

“Yes”

“Hello, my name is Kim Seokjin.” You shot up in the bed at that, your swollen eyes widening as much as they could.

“Oh,” you stuttered, clearing your throat in an attempt to sound less depressing.”Hello Mr. KIm”

“I was calling to see if we could discuss things, but it seems I may have caught you at a bad time”

“No! No it’s nothing really. It’s nothing for you to concern yourself with.”

He was silent for a second like he was considering your words before he sighed.

“Y/N I know you’re new to this whole contract business, so I don’t blame you for not being familiar with how it works. So I’m going to tell you. If you are serious about agreeing to this, the moment you sign that contract, I become responsible for your well being. It’s my job to make sure you’re at your best, be it emotionally, physically or mentally. So if you have a problem, it automatically becomes my problem as well. Regardless of what it is”

You dug your teeth into your bottom lip. As if you weren’t enough of an emotional train wreck without him saying this.

“So with that being said, would you like to meet with me for coffee today? We could talk about everything. How does that sound?". It took a while for your mind to process the question. His voice had a strangely calming effect over you. All the anxiety you had felt had melted away, leaving your mind blissfully numb.

“It sounds good. Where should we meet?”. You listened as he called the name of a shop you knew well and thankfully, one that was on your regular bus route so you wouldn’t have to walk too far.

Even after he hung up you sat staring at the phone for about 5 minutes. For some reason he had you feeling abnormally giddy inside. Staring at your reflection in the mirror across from you it dawned on you that you were meeting him in an hour and your really did look like shit. Your eyes were bloodshot and your face was swollen, your hair was on tangled mess of stubborn curls. You hadn’t been planning on leaving your house for the rest of the week so you decided to just leave it. Now the decision was coming back to bite you in the ass.

Miraculously, you’d made it there 5 minutes early. It had taken 20 minutes, lots of water,conditioner, baby oil and 2 wide toothed combs but you’d made your hair look appropriate enough to leave the house. You didn’t have any makeup so you’d washed your face, slapped on some moisturizer and hoped for the best.

You sat there waiting anxiously, pulling at the stray stings on the hem of your blouse. You had no idea what he looked like. Two men had walked in already and all 2 walked past you, and you just felt like they weren’t him.

The minute the clock on the wall struck 3:30 the chimes above the door tinkled as it opened again. You looked up, your mouth going dry instantly. The first thing you saw were legs, long and lean until they met strong, slightly muscular thighs hugged by a pair of slim fitting black jeans. Your eyes trailer higher, skimming over the black turtle neck that hugged his slender torso and broad shoulders. By the time you’d made it to his face it was like the entire cafe had gone dead silent behind him. Or maybe you’d just gone deaf as your mind tried to take in his intricate features. His pale skin contrasted with the bright pink of his plump lips and the delicate pink that dusted his cheeks. A gasp got stuck in your throat as his eyes locked on to yours, crinkling bit at the sides as he smiled discreetly and glided towards...you?

“Y/n?”

You blinked up at him, finally registering that he was standing in front of you with an elegant palm outstretched for you to shake. You cleared your throat, awkwardly stuttering out a greeting as you slid your small hand into his larger one.

You inwardly cursed yourself. You hadn’t even met him for a full minute and he probably already thought you were a nitwit. When he sat down you wiled yourself not to gawk at him, opting for observing the grooves in the table before you. He was good looking enough from a far, but up close he was breath taking.

“You know you will have to look at me at one point or another”

You tore your eyes away from the table to look at him, your timid gaze meeting his unwavering one. His head was tilted slightly and he was giving you a soft smile that had your heart pounding harder than it already was. It felt like you were on the verge of going into cardiac arrest. A nervous chuckle spilling past your lips.

“Sorry, I guess I’m just really nervous”

“I can hear that. Your heart sound’s like you’re about to go into cardiac arrest. You have no reason to be nervous.” You held back a snort at his words.

“If the roles were switched right now you’re telling me you wouldn’t be nervous? Not even a little?”.

“Got me there. I hope that once we discuss it you wont be as skeptical about...”

“I’m not skeptical. I want to do it”. The words came tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them and you were this close to just throwing yourself out into the oncoming traffic. The smile on his face faltered. Shit... he probably thinks you’re desperate. Well you are, but he doesn’t have to know.

You gnawed on your lip in the awkward silence followed your outburst. It maybe lasted for a minute but to you it felt like an hour. He was the first to break it, with a heavy sigh as he clasped his hands on the table, leaning forward.

“Y/N,I don’t think you understand the full extent of what you’re getting yourself involved in. It’s not just something you can just agree to. I’m aware that this is your first time doing this and walking into this blind is like walking out into the middle of the freeway during rush hour and waiting for a car to run you over.”.

“ I know that Mr.Kim but...” you trailed off as you felt your voice wavering. You really weren’t in the mood for anymore crying. Even more so to breakdown in public and especially in front of him.

Your breath hitched as his hand reached across to encompass yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Even if I knew everything about this and I had my doubts I’d still agree. Because I have no choice. If I don’t agree to this I literally have nowhere else to turn that doesn’t involve me getting arrested. I have no money and no parents. I’ve lost my job and it’s become harder and harder to keep myself afloat. I used the last of my savings to pay for my tuition and I don’t know where the next dime is coming from. My only other option is to drop out of school. I don’t want to do that and the only way I can keep myself going is by agreeing to whatever terms and conditions are on this contract regardless of how I feel about them. That’s just how it has to be.”

Somewhere in the middle of this the tears had started again and you couldn’t even be bothered with trying to stop or wiping them away. You just closed your eyes and let them flow freely.

After a while you felt him dabbing at your face with a napkin. You were sure you looked like some preschooler, face swollen and tear streaked with snot running from your nose. But you were too tired to even try preserving whatever semblance of pride you had left.

“You probably think I’m pathetic right now,” you stated, hating the way your voice came out small and broken.

“I don’t think you’re pathetic. Not in the slightest.”. You perked up at that,realising he was telling the truth when your eyes met his.

‘Y-you dont?”

“Not in the slightest. I think you’re exhausted, Mentally, physically and emotionally. And it’s time you had someone to worry about you for a change. I’d like to be that person. But I can’t let you to agree to anything unless we talk about it and change anything that makes you uncomfortable and then we’ll take it from there.”

You probably shouldn’t have but before you could even process what you were doing you were reaching across the table and hugging him. His entire body stiffened up and his breath stuttered to a halt. You pulled back immediately apologies tumbling from your lips. You felt even worse when you saw how tightly his fists and jaws were clenched.

When he opened his eyes you were stuck between wanting to run or stare. They were a deep crimson colour that faded back to a soft brown after he blinked a few times.

“I apologize if I’ve frightened you. that doesn’t usually happen. It’s just that your scent was a bit overwhelming. I’m not used to it just as yet so for now don’t get too close to me ok?”

You swallowed thickly, calming down a bit as you nodded, filing the information away. You realised that he was right, there were a lot of things you didn’t know about vampires and would be really dumb to just dive in.

You were going to apologize again but you were cut short by the embarrassingly loud grumbling of your stomach. You really just wished the ground would swallow you up.

“When last did you eat something,” Seokjin queried, his brows furrowing. God, if that sinkhole didn’t open didn’t up soon you’d start digging one yourself.

“Maybe, possibly ... last night”

“What did you eat?”

“... ramen”

He gasped like you’d told him that you’d committed some crime, before he rose up from his seat and indicated for you to get up.

“That’s unacceptable. Come with me”

“Wait where are we going?” you asked, cursing your feet as you stumbled a bit as you followed him outside into the cool evening air.

“I’m taking you to dinner. I can't have you thinking ramen is a full meal forever.”

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