#laughing at myself that THIS is probably gonna be the way i finally start making hanfu | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

f1smutwriter · 2 months

Note

Hi, I saw that you opened the orders, I wanted to order one from Charles. Do you know when his mother was out of the garage because he had already given all his passes and he got one for her in the crowd lol

I want you to write that a girl was next to you and then Pascale wanted to introduce her to Charles and he was interested in the girl. Could it also be that they have an age difference, please? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫣

I've never placed an order so I don't know if that's how you do it and if my English is very bad, I'm sorry 🥲🥲

|One big coincidence (cl16)

Summary: She gets the lucky seat next to Charles mom. Little did she know he was gonna get hooked and be his reward

Warnings: Age gap (reader 18, Charles 21), Pascale being literally Cupid, innocence kink, corruption kink, cocky Charles, A bit of a dom/sub situation, dirty talk, possessive Charles, pet names (my good girl, my little princess, petite fille), rough sex unprotected (don’t do it), creamie pie, oral (fem and male rec), fingering, praising, degrading, orgasm control, slight size kink reader being his reward

Notes: I tried my best I don’t think it’s the best. I don’t know if 18 and 21 is a good age gap because some people think it’s weird. So if you think it’s weird this one is not for you please leave. I hope you love it!

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Once I found my seat, I sit down accidentally bumping into the women next to me. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention. Are you ok” I asked her making sure to apologize since she almost fell over.

“I’m sorry my English isn’t very good” she said to me not being able to understand a word I said. I just look at her apologetic and repeated what I said it slowly. “Je suis désolé, je n’avais pas l’intention de vous croiser. Est-ce que ça va” I asked softly making sure she understands I was sorry.

She looked at me surprised thinking I wouldn’t be able to speak French. I giggled softly at her surprised expression, making her join me as well as we are both just standing in front of our seats laughing together. Once we finally stop she puts her hand on my shoulder in a reassuring way.

“No, it’s my fault I was in the way” she said with a bright smile making me smile at her softly. “Nonsense, I should have looked where I was going” I said softly to her not wanting her to blame herself.

“You are a beautiful darling girl, with a very beautiful personality” she complimented me with her bright smile making my day so much better. “Thank you very much, you are very beautiful yourself” I complimented her back making her look at me with a grateful smile.

“What are you doing here darling, here to watch driving with your boyfriend” she asked as we both sit down watching the track waiting for the race to start. ”No boyfriend, just myself. I am the only person in my family and friends to love f1” I replied to her question fixing my hat so the sun wouldn’t get in my eyes when I’m talking to her.

“I’m here because my son didn’t have enough pass to get me into the paddock so I’m stuck in the stands” she said while laughing about her son and his actions. I laughed with her then remembering I have paddock passes that costed a fortune.

“Which garage do you need to go to” I asked her hoping and praying she said Ferrari since that was the only passes I had. “Ferrari” she said with a confused face probably wondering why I was asking.

“I have an extra pass for the garage, in fact, do you want one” I offered with a smile on my face not wanting it to go to waste. “No, I couldn’t take it, you spent your money on that” she says feeling bad for taking one of the extra passes I had. I smile at her taking out my pass and hers wanting her to take it.

“Please take it, I want it to be used and in addition you have to watch it with your son” I say softly giving her the pass watching her give me a grateful smile. She takes the pass from my hands and give me a big smile. Before I know it she’s taking me with her to the paddocks. “I want you to watch it with me so that you can meet my son” she said excitedly becoming very fond of me.

As she’s taking me through crowds of people we get stopped by security. They asked to see our passes, when we show them she continued to drag me through the huge crowds. “Are you sure I don’t want to be a bother” I tell her not wanting to ruin her moment with her son. “No I want you to come want you to get to know my son” she says before taking me in the Ferrari garage.

Once we go into the garage she takes me to a group of people who were next to the mechanics. “Mon amour” she called out to one of the boys who look around my age. Once he heard her voice he looked happy to see her and went up to her crying. Once I finally realized who it was I stood there in shock. It was Charles Leclerc. The Charles Leclerc that just won the Monza Grand Prix for his team. When I see him I instantly start walking away slowly not wanting to ruin their family moment.

But then I heard her call out for me I freeze again hoping she didn’t feeing like I’m about to faint. “Darling where are you going” she says before going to me and taking me to her son who happened to be Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc.

“Charles this lovely girl gave me one of her extra passes to come see you” she says to him before leaving us to talk. I look up at him nervously trying my hardest to seem cool but my hands shaking were not helping my case. “So your the girl I keep seeing my mom with huh” he said to me looking at me like how a lion looks at its prey. Once he said that all I could do was nod, not trusting myself to talk.

“You don’t speak princess” He whispered into my ear while looking at me with pure lust in my eyes. “I- um yeah I do” I stuttered not being able to make eye contact with him. “Such a pretty girl, huh princess” he says bring his hand to my face so I can look at him in the eyes. When I wouldn’t make eye contact he got a bit frustrated wrapping his hand around my neck slightly making me gasp from the sudden touch.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you. Don’t you want to be a good girl” he growled into my ear making me freeze before looking at him with pure innocence. When he saw the innocences in my eyes all he could do was groans softly wanting to ruin my innocence and make me his.

“That look in your eyes is very dangerous petite fille. Wouldn’t want you to start something you can’t finish” he whispered in my ear his hand squeezing around my neck a bit tighter making me whimper feeling extremely out of control, not being able to think properly. Once they call his name to go to celebrate, he didn’t talk his eyes off of me and my body.

“When I come back you’re gonna be a good girl and come home with me. Gonna be my reward it’s also a thank you for giving an extra pass to my mom. Got it” he growled sternly into my ear making me shiver from such power in his voice. All I do is nod making sure he knows I understand.

“When you’re with me you speak. Do you understand” he says scarily calm making me want to obey him in an instant. “Yes I understand” is all I could say with a stuttering voice still feeling out of control like I was his doll. “That’s a good girl” he whispered to me before kissing my head before going out on the stage and celebrate his win.

After his celebration I just sit in the garage waiting patiently for him to come back. He comes back completely covered in champagne, he looks at me with a devilish smirk on his face making me thighs clench as hard as they can, feeling my panties get wet in an instant once again.

“Let’s go” he spoke in a deep voice making me get up in an instant feeling him take control of me. I was walking in front of him feeling him pressed up against me as we walk to his car, feeling his hard-on every time I take a step. He goes over to my side opening the door for me. Once I step in he goes to the driver side and he just stares at me before grabbing my hand and putting it on his hard-on.

“Feel that. You caused that so when we go to the hotel your gonna help me fix it okay” he told me making me rub it. I make a bold move and squeeze his clothed cock softly making his hips buck and him groan I pleasure. I stroke him through his pants, his hips following my strokes as he moans deeply loving my hand on him.

“C-can I see it” I pleaded with an innocent voice wanting to see all of him and feel him in my hand, and mouth. Once I asked that he followed my request taking off his belt and sliding his pants and underwear far enough where he can take his hard cock out. His shaft a nice light pink and his tip being the color of his lips or a bit darker. I just look at him in shocked him being almost around 7 to 8 inches at least.

“T-that” I stuttered a loss of words from him being huge. “It’s what princess” he said with a cocky smirk already know what I was gonna say before I said it. “That’s not gonna fit in me” I say nervously looking back and forth from him and his cock that stood proudly. Once I said that he chuckled darkly while stroking himself slowly.

“It’s okay, I’ll make it fit” he stated darkly making me lose my breath just from his words and his hand moving up and down his cock. “Go on, taste it princess I can see you clenching your pretty little legs” he grunted darkly putting his hand at the tip of his cock rubbing it softly.

Once he told me that I put my arm over the console wrapping my hand around the shaft, my hand barely being able to wrap around it. Not only was he long he was thick, the size of his forearm thick. I move my hand up and down his cock finding a good rhythm. He starts moaning and growing making my confidence grow a little making me move my hand faster, my thumb rubbing over his dark tip gently. I look up at him seeing his eyes closed in pleasure, and his thrown back moaning more and more.

Feeling bold I go over to him licking his tip softly making him buck his hips pushing his cock into my mouth forcefully. I slowly put my mouth around him running my tongue up and down his shaft earning me louder groans and moans from before. He opened his eyes looking at me suck his cock, grabbing my hair doing a makeshift pony tail guiding me up and down his thick cock.

“Sucking me so good. Like your mouth was made to suck my cock” he moaned guiding my head up and down faster, also making me take more of him. I stroke what I can’t take in my mouth making him a bit pissed. “Your gonna take all of it got. Your my cock slut so act like it” he growled pushing my head down more his cock feeling him at the back of my throat. I move up and down his cock gagging every time his tip hits the back of my throat, tears coming to my eyes and I breathe through my nose.

“Aww is the cock to big for the cock slut to suck off” he mocked me making me look up at him with innocent eyes as he basically fucks my throat making me gag everyone time his tip hits my throat. I tap his thigh asking for some air so he pulls my hair giving me a break. “We’re going to the hotel I need to fuck your pussy” he demanded before tucking his cock back into his pants making me pout slightly.

He starts driving to the hotel gripping my thigh for dear life. Once we made it he gets out quickly going to my side and opening my door and dragging me out. As we walk to the elevator his hand is wrapped around my waist almost groping my ass. We go in the elevator, the doors closing as they closed he pushed me against the wall kissing me passionately. Squeezing my ass his other hand pulling my hair so my head can go back. I gasp light as he pulls my hair hard so he can leave marks on my neck claiming me as his.

He sucked dark marks on my lick, making me hiss at the stinging sensation. He licked one spot that made me moan softly he started sucking a dark hickey on it making panties soaking wet. Once we heard the elevator ding he gets off of me dragging me to his room, taking out his key card and opening the door. We walked inside the room, he pinned me to the door kiss me roughly slipping his tongue in my mouth without a struggle. I moaned against his lips feeling his hand travel up my bare thighs. “Gonna let me touch this pretty pussy” he growled unbuttoning my shorts sliding them down my legs.

“Y-yes” I whimpered feeling him slowly stick his hand in my panties running his fingers through my wet folds. “Who made you this wet princess” he asked me not taking his eyes off of me for one second. “Who. Made. You. This. Wet” he demanded for my answer making me quiver in pleasure feeling his pointer finger circle my throbbing clit.

“You did” I squealed feeling him pinch my clit between his fingers. “That’s right I made you this wet, you belong to me” he claimed to me making me moaned when he slowly teased my tight hole. “Say it, say you belong to me” he demanded me sticking a finger in my tight wet pussy, curling it inside me with out second thought.

I cried out feeling his fingers brushed a feign spot in me effortlessly. “I’m yours” I shouted crying from the unfamiliar pleasure never feeling this good before. “Your so tight princess, is my pretty little girl a virgin” he teased me thrusting his finger in and out of my puckered hole. “N-no” I whined fucking myself on his finger. “Aww my innocent little girl isn’t so innocent huh” he said possessively not liking his another guy has seen you before him. “Did he make you feel good” he asked me slipping another finger to join his first one in me.

I moaned out tears leaving my eyes from the intense pleasure. “N-no used m-me for his p-pleasure” I stuttered shaking from his fingers abusing my g-spot making me scream in pleasure. “Did I find it princess did I find your special spot” he grinned cockily fucking it hard and hard, making it difficult to stay up. “So I’m guessing that bastard didn’t make you cum” he wondered while pounding his fingers in me. All I could do was shake my head no feeling a familiar knot in my stomach that I’m brought myself to. “Oh you’re in for a treat, I’ll make you cum so many times you’ll pass out” he grinned to me making me clench my tight walls around his two fingers.

“M’so close, please let me cum” I begged fucking myself on his finger, being on a brink of an orgasm. He chuckled at me seeing how desperate I was to cum all over his fingers. “I’m gonna count down from 10 and when I tell you to cum you cum got it” he told me as his fingers were pounding harder and harder every time I moaned. “Y-yes” I struggled to say holding in my orgasm as hard as I could.

“10…” he counted pausing before going onto the next number “9…” he brings his other hand to my clit circling it slowly making me cry out in pleasure as he counted the next number “8…” my eyes are rolled in the back of my head my hands gripping his biceps for support digging my nails into his skin. “7…” he counted purposely going slower and slower mocking me. “6… your doing so good princess. Feel you clenching that tight pussy around my fingers” he laughed at me before going to the next number. “5…” I think about other things other than his fingers abusing my sensitive pussy, I look around the room but can’t focus on anything other then this fingers hitting my g-spot over and over and over again making my thighs tremble insanely amount.

“4…” he counted going even faster making me yell in pleasure almost cumming right then and there. “3…” “2…” “1… cum for me princess wet my fingers” he whispered making me fly over the edge tears falling from my eyes, my legs almost giving out, my moans turning into screams, and my nails almost cutting his arm. He continues to fuck me through my high dragging it out. Once I came down from my high he slips his fingers out of me bring them to his mouth moaning at the taste of my juices on his fingers. “Your so sweet princess, can’t wait to taste all of it” he growled into my ear before picking me up and throwing me on the bed. He finally slides my soaking panties off of my legs and taking off my shirt from my body. “Take this off” he demanded snapping the elastic of my bra onto my skin.

I do as he says without hesitation, when I took it off throwing it in the pile of clothing I see him stripping himself of his clothes. He takes off his pants and shirt just leaving him in his underwear. I bite my lip tracing his abs and v-line with my eyes. “Like what you see petite fille” he asked cockily as he takes off his underwear giving me a view of his fully erect cock. Once we were both naked he went onto his knees in front of me and circled my already simulated clit with his tongue making me moan out and tugging his hair with forces.

“So sweet my dinner and dessert” he mumbled against my pussy sucking my clit. His tongue makes its way through my soaking folds giving him a proper taste of me. He groaned against it the vibrations being intense. “Please please please, need you inside of me” I cried out pulling his hair to take his tongue out of my pussy. “My cumslut wants my cock huh” he said before standing back up dragging his tio through my fold, slapping it against my clit making us both hiss.

He lined his tip to my quivering hole looking at me in the eyes as I gasp. He slides his thick cock into me making me gasp from the fullness. “Fuck your so tight and I’m not even halfway in” he groaned before sliding all the way in making me cry out. He lets me adjust to his size before slowly thrusting in and out. He pushes my stomach his hand making me feel all of him. He grabs my hand and put in on top of the bulge caused by his size “feel that, I’m so deep I’m in your stomach, can you feel me in your stomach my good girl” he asked before slowly thrusting faster and faster, he ends up pounding into my pussy making my mouth gap open no noises coming out. “S-s d-deep” I cried feeling him in my gut tears streaming down my cheeks as I meet his thrust.

“Your squeezing me so tight I’m not gonna last very long if you keep doing that” he told me before his hand goes between us and circles my clit making me wrap my legs around his waist and my nails drag down his bare back creating marks. “gonna cum please let me cum can’t hold it” I babbled so cock drunk that I can barley form sentences.

“Cum for me princess I’m right behind you” he said before making me cum all over his cock tighten my walls around him, which triggers his orgasm making him groan and moan in my neck. As we both come down from our highs he slowly slides out making me whimper from the entry feeling. He goes to the bathroom to get a towel to clean me up. He comes back seeing his pearly white cum dripping out of my sensitive pussy. He starts cleaning me is with his towel gently knowing how sensitive I am. I start whimpering when cleans me up. “I know baby I know” he whispered gentle before throwing the towel to the side and grabbing a pair of his boxers putting them on and a shirt for me to wear.

He grabs both of my arms and helps me sit up straight putting the shirt on me. I look up at him extremely exhausted and fucked out from the activities we just did. “Come here my love” he whispered pulling me into his chest to cuddled up with him. “Did so good love, you were such a good girl, my best girl” he whispered to me rubbing my back as I slowly fall asleep on his chest listening to his heart beat.

The next morning I wake up to him kissing my neck softly and lovingly. “Morning my dear” he whispered softly to me. “Morning” I said back groggily still feeling a bit tired. “Ordered you breakfast, didn’t know what you like so I ordered you everything” he stated softly while running my fingers through my hair lovingly “thank you” I said kissing him softly making him instantly kiss me back. “My mom is gonna be thrilled that I’m with you” he mumbled softly to me.

“With me” I asked confused not knowing he actually thought of me that way. “Yup when I said you belong to me I meant it. Not letting you go anytime soon” he confessed softly to me making me smile at his words “okay then” I said cuddling up with him more. Before we both end up falling back asleep.

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Notes: That was intense anyways I really hope you guys liked. Also please leave me some more requests I would love to write more and more. Bye everyone!!!

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kyleoreillylover · 8 months

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𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 🖤

Dominik Mysterio x Fem!Bloodline!Reader

“Let me take care of you, sweetheart.” + “Take out your anger on me. I can handle it."

Summary: Your family is pissing you off, and Dominik is more than happy to let you take your anger out on him.

A/N: Dominik brain rot is real and this is the result of it (this took so long 😭) and was inspired by the gif below. This is my first smut and probably my last, so please be nice! Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 6,016

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing, family drama.

You sighed as you rubbed your temples, closing your eyes for a moment and feeling the incoming headache about to come as the room got louder and louder with anger. You opened your eyes to see Roman and Jimmy still arguing, yelling and getting closer and closer to each other. Jey was sitting in the corner, jaw clenched as he let them get into it. Solo was standing next to you, keeping a watchful eye on them in case things got out of hand. Your eyes met, and you can tell by the look in his eye he was done with all this shit too.

Why couldn't they talk this out like men instead of acting like children? You thought, rolling your eyes. You snapped out of your thoughts when Jimmy pushed Roman into the corner, all of you quickly getting up to separate them.

"You guys need to stop this!" You shouted angrily as you and Jey held Jimmy back, Solo trying to calm Roman down but to no avail.

"No, he needs to stop being a manipulative asshole! Apologize for losing? Acting like you wouldn't have lost without our help. My help. I ain't apologizing for shit, ‘Tribal Chief'!"

"Jimmy, chill out!" Jey tried, but Roman's laugh echoed throughout the room, and Jimmy tried to get out of our grips.

"Nah, let him run his mouth. You don't see your brothers acting like this, huh? Or your sister? You know why they aren't acting like this? Because they know that I am right, they know that you disgraced everybody. You disgraced this family, your ancestors, your legacy, and me, your Tribal Chief. You need to apologize for them, but most importantly, you will apologize to me."

"I ain't apologizing for anything! You wouldn't have even been Tribal Chief if it weren't for us, uce! You were a disgrace until we helped you get to the top! So if I am gonna apologize to anyone, I'ma apologize to myself for helping you get there in the first place!" Jimmy spat out, nostrils flaring as he clenched his fists, continuing to try and break out of our grip. You felt all the patience slip out of you in that very moment and you snapped, grabbing Jimmy’s shirt and pushing against the wall.

"You all need to shut the fuck up!" You screamed, Jimmy becoming lax in your grip with a look of shock on his face, the others quiet in shock as well. Finally, they shut up.

“You need to put your ego’s in check and start acting like men instead of acting like children!” You yelled furiously, scowling at them.

"He needs to-" Jimmy began, but you gave him a glare that could kill and he shut his mouth.

"You both need to stop trying to be right and start talking to each other like grown ass people. You need to stop holding grudges and let shit go. " You hissed, letting him go and turning towards Roman.

"And you need to keep your 'Tribal Chief' ego in check and stop crapping on people just because things don't go to plan." You snapped at him.

"Uce, calm down." Jey made his way towards you, trying to quell your anger before you said something Roman would make you regret, but you gave him a look and he backed away. You couldn't care less about Roman right now, he needed to hear the truth.

"Calm down? Are you kidding me?" You scoffed in disbelief.

"Don't you see what's happening? You're giving everybody what they want. They want to see us crumble, want to see our dominance fall so they could rise and take our top spot here."

You looked at Jimmy, seeing his face turn from anger to a mixture of embarrasment and relization."You're feeding into Sami and Kevin, letting them get in your heads. Why do you think they keep digging and digging? Because they want to keep those titles, and your basically ensuring they win by engaging with their stupid bullshit!"

You turned to Roman, who was stunned silent for the first time in a while. He had rarely seen you angry, even when you were kids. You were always the moral compass for the group, keeping their moral up with your caring energy. But you thought that now they needed the hard truth instead of caring words.

"And you need to stop letting your ego cloud your morals. Just because we're family doesn't mean you get a pass to be an asshole." Roman met your challenged gaze, still silent but didn't look as angry as before. Solo stood next to him, a stunned look on his usually stone-cold face as he watched you rip everybody to shreds with a tone you usually reserved for your rivals.

"You all are out of your mind if you think I'm letting everything I worked hard for go to waste because you don't want to get along. Get it together the next time I see you, I'm getting some air." You casted everyone a look before grabbing your jacket, slipping it on and leaving the room.

You franticly sped out of the arena, needing to just breathe and feel the cool night air on your skin. The fans were long gone by this time, so you didn't need to worry about being spotted. You sat on a bench, putting your head in your hands and trying to breathe through the haze of anger you felt suffocating you and coursing through your veins.

"Trouble in paradise?" You snapped out of your daze, already knowing who it was and not bothering to pick your head back up.

"Shut up, Dominik. I'm not in the mood." You mumbled loudly enough for him to hear. You heard him laugh, not taking you seriously. "Ooh, the full name this time. What happened to Dom? Am I in trouble?"

You picked your head up, glaring at him. "I said I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone and find someone else to bother."

He stopped laughing, realizing you weren't joking. "What happened?"

"None of your concern. Are you deaf? Leave. me. alone." You made a move to stand up, but he pushed you back down gently, sitting down next to you.

"Can you not be annoying for once and actually listen to me?" You spat at him, trying to stand up again but he grabbed your waist, restraining you.

"What happened?" He repeated, seeing your eyes glazed with anger. He had never seen you this mad outside of the ring before, and it made him unnerved for it to be directed at him. You were usually playful with him, sometimes having mean banter with your character work but you both didn't mean any of it. But you were never like this.

"Family business." You finally answered him, short and clipped. You tried looking away from him but he gently grabbed your cheek.

"Look at me, mi corazon." You tried to ignore the way the pet name made your stomach tighten with butterflies and listened to him, looking deep into his eyes, distracting yourself with his brown orbs that almost made you forget about your anger. Almost.

"What did your family do?" You felt the anger rush back and you mockingly chuckled. “Jimmy and Roman keep starting arguments on literally anything instead of focusing on winning. Now everybody thinks were weak and vulnerable, even though I've done nothing but pull my weight!" You huffed out, breaking out of his grip and standing up, clenching your fists. You muttered to yourself angrily, wanting to scream, hit something, do anything to let out the frustration gnawing at you.

But Dominik stood up with you, grabbing your wrists, and yanking you back into his arms. You scowled at him, trying to pull away from him. “Let go of me!”

“Not until you breathe, mi vida.” He held your wrists in one hand and grabbed your face with the other, softly caressing your face, his heartbeat and husky smell of his cologne invading your scenes.

“Look at me, mi amor.” Dominik instructed, his brown eyes gazing into yours as you ignored the way your stomach churned everytime he spoke Spanish to you and kept trying to pull your wrists away from him. But he opted for letting go of your face, bringing your head into his chest, and you felt his hot breath near your ear as he nuzzled his head into your neck. "Cálmate, carino."

Screw him and his stupidly hot Spanish. You felt yourself melt into him, some calmness washing over you the longer you were in his arms. He let go of your wrists, and you wrapped your arms around his waist, shivering when he laid feather-light kisses onto your neck.

Dominik continued kissing your neck, loving the feeling of you in his arms and shivering under his touch. He waited for your breathing to slow down to let you go, but he wrapped an arm around your waist, not wanting you out of arms reach.

"You better now, sweetheart?" You nodded, you still felt that haze of anger but it wasn't at strong as before. "I need words, baby.”

"I'm better now, Dom." You grabbed his free hand and held it, relishing in the smile he gave you.

"I can tell now that you called me Dom." You rolled your eyes playfully at his smirk and grabbed the hand that was around your shoulder and held it, relishing in the smile he gave you.

“Do you have a ride back? Dominik asked, to which you shook your head. “I was too mad at the boys to drive with them, so I’ma just get an uber-”

“You’re riding with me.” You gave him an amused smile at his demanding tone, it was usually the other way around.

“You sure you don't need mami's permission for that?" You giggled when he yanked you closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, his forhead leaning against yours and his lips so, so close to yours.

"You know more than anyone I don't need her permission." Dom pushed his lips onto yours, kissing away your smirk and losing himself in the taste of you. God, you were addicting.

You kissed him slowly at first-as if you wanted to torture him-and he hated and loved you for it. He groaned into your mouth when you snuck a hand up to his hair, pulling it just the way you knew he liked it and kissing him even harder, your tongue slipping into his mouth. His fingers dug into your waist almost painfully as you clung to him, his touch burning your skin in the best way and you pulled his hair harder in response.

You pulled away first, the both of you panting and out of breath. You ran your fingers through his hair, smiling brightly at him when he leaned into your touch. You felt the heat creep back up looking at him, his hair slightly touseled and his muscles showing through his dark black tee. You felt the urge to kiss him again, so you did. He laughed into your lips, letting you steal another kiss before pulling away. “I meant what I said before. I'm not letting you go into a random car by yourself in the middle of the night just because you're mad at your idiot brothers."

"They are not idiots."

"They are if they decided to make you angry." You laughed, playfully nudging him, and he grinned before brushing your hair out of your face. You looked up at him through your lashes, seeing him gaze at you with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Let me take care of you, sweetheart." You bit your lip, struggling to choose between your stubbornness or giving in to what you want. As if sensing your internal conflict, Dominik caressed your face, running his thumb over your lips, making you break out of your stupor. He smirked when you instinctively parted your lips, it’d been too long yet your bodies still remembered each other.

"Please?" You couldn't refuse him, not when he was looking at you like you were the only thing he ever wanted to think of.

"Fine, but I get to have the aux." Music was the last thing on your mind, but he didn't need to know that. At least not right now.

"Deal, but only cause you have great taste."

"You're right. I do have great taste." You eyed him up and down, winking at him and giving him a smirk that made him utterly weak for you. "Lead the way. You're driving."

The drive was quiet, music playing softly in the background as you put a hand on Dom's thigh, inching higher and higher the closer you got to the hotel. His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter as he tried to get himself under control. You grinned seeing him like this, letting you be in charge. You needed to release your anger and have a stress reliever, and he was more than willing to let you use him as one. It wouldn't be the first time.

Before you knew it, you were at the hotel. You kept your hands to yourself until you went into the elevator, and as soon as its doors closed, you were all over Dominik, gripping his shirt and pushing him against the wall, giving him a searing kiss.

He welcomed it, kissing you back just as hard, moaning into your mouth when you bit his lip. He grabbed your legs and hoisted you onto his waist as if you weighed nothing. You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting yourself get dizzy in his arms, letting out a whine when he slid his tongue against your lip to draw it between his teeth. Your mind switched off, and all you could do was feel feel feel. Feel his bruising grip on your legs, his lips nibbling and biting any part of your mouth he can find, the heat growing in between your legs, his muscles flexing underneath your arms as you both turned each other into a writhing mess.

Your back hit something cold, and you pushed Dom away instinctively and opened your eyes, realizing you were in front of the hotel room. He whined at the loss of contact, his mouth moving to your neck, and you groaned and arched into him when he sucked a sensitive spot behind your ear.

"Fuck, do that again." You demanded, trying to keep your voice steady as you leaned your head on the wall, giving him more access to your neck. Dom let out an airy chuckle. You were hot when you got bossy. "Whatever you want, Mamacita." He murmured into your skin, obeying and kissing that same spot, trying to distract himself from the way your whines and whimpers were going straight to his dick long enough to get his keycard and open the room.

He brought you both into the room, setting you on the bed, hovering over you, and capturing your lips with his. Any coherent thoughts he had melted away as you deepened the kiss, distracting him with your tongue hot and probing in his mouth.

You took this opportunity to roll the both of you over and switch your positions, not breaking the kiss. You laid on top of him, gripping his shoulders for balance, and grinded your hips against his, internally smirking when Dominik threw his head back, hissing. You did that again, and again and again until he gripped your hips to stop you.

“Too much?” You asked, leaning down to kiss his neck, enjoying him writhing against you. He shook his head, but he could still see the hesitation in your eyes as you stopped kissing his neck. He snuck his hands underneath your jacket and shirt, rubbing circles onto your soft skin, feeling you relax into him.

"Don't be afraid to take your anger out on me. I can handle it." You picked your head up at those words, moving off from him and giving him a questioning look, wanting to be sure he wasn't uncomfortable. He gave you a sexy smirk that had you internally melting in response, shrugging off his shirt. You took off your own, muscled chest heaving as he eyed your bloodline jacket you threw across the room.

"You'd look better in my jacket." You rose a challenging brow, taking off your bra, smirking when Dom's head snapped down to your chest. You leaned down to his ear, sneaking your hand down to his jeans. Your boobs were pressed against his chest and hot breath against his skin making him shiver. You knew just how to drive him crazy.

"Treat me right tonight and maybe I will wear it." You nipped his skin harshly and palmed his dick at the same time. A moan ripped out of him as he arched into your hand, the last strand of composure he had slipping away from him as you continued to palm him.

"Ahh, please, please...don't stop." He pleaded, the rough material of his jeans rubbing into him deliciously and your hands already felt so good. You were making him feel like he was in heaven and you'd barely even begun.

He whined when you moved your hand away, trying to buck his hips up but you pushed his hips down, giving him a glare. "Did I tell you to move?"

"I'm sorry, mi amor-" Dom tried to mutter out as an apology, but you shook your head, cutting him off.

"I'll let it slide this time, but don't do it again. Did you forget that I'm in charge tonight, mi cielo?" He shook his head, his skin heating up and dick getting harder at your words. If speaking Spanish drove you absolutely crazy, imagine how it made him feel.

"Good. Now take off your pants." He obeyed, and you moved off him so he could sit up and pull them off. Once they were off, you moved on top of him, sitting on his chest. He gave you a pleading look, hands itching to touch you. You nodded, and his lips went to suck one of your boobs, his hands massaging your other one.

"Ahh...fuck Dom." You moaned out, the heat between your thighs only intensifying at the feeling of his warm mouth and soft lips sucking on your nipple. You tangled your fingers through his soft hair, biting your lip to contain your moans so the entirety of the hotel filled with wrestlers and your friends didn't hear you. He licked and nibbled at it making you arch your back and stifle your moans. He smirked into your skin, flicked your other nipple until it hardened, before biting and sucking his way down your chest and belly, your skin on fire from his touch.

Before his hands could travel lower, you pressed your hand against his chest. He quickly pulled away once he felt you pushing him, concerned eyes scanning your body for any injury or discomfort.

"Are you okay, Hermosa? Did I hurt you?" He asked, giving you another once over before you cupped his face to stop making him worriedly look into your eyes.

“No baby, you’d never hurt me.” You gave him a comforting look, reassuring him. He looked into your eyes for anything that said otherwise, and once he found none he let out an internal sigh of relief, letting himself lean into your touch. As much of an asshole he made himself to be on TV, he never wanted to make you uncomfortable.

You smiled when he leaned into your touch, stroking his cheek. You loved seeing this side of him he only reserved for you.

“I just thought you’d like it better like this.” You pushed him until his back hit the bed, straddling him. He groaned when you hovered over his face, his lips inches away from tasting your glistening wet pussy.

“Fuck, are you trying to kill me, mami?” Dom whined out, his voice husky with need as he gripped your thighs, trying to pull you down. You held onto the headboard before he could, stopping his attempts. “Please, let me taste you, mami.” He pleaded, giving you puppy dog eyes that you would fall for in any other circumstance. But you'll give him what he wants soon enough.

“Listen to me and I will.” You smirked at how quickly he quieted down at that, nodding at you. “This night is about me. I'm in control. Don't forget that, and maybe, I'll give you a reward. You understand, baby?”

"I understand, mi amor," Dom answered, his voice almost turning into a whine as he tried to control himself from yanking you and tasting you, he didn't want to risk a punishment from you.

"Good boy.” You cooed, the nickname and your sickly sweet tone making his cock harden even more. But he didn't have time to think about it because you were lowering yourself down, sitting on his face.

Your knees buckled and you immediately let out a moan as Dom sucked your clit harshly, hungrily eating you out and groaning into your pussy, making you moan even more.

It was like an out of body experience; you didn't register the moans coming out of you as he licked and toyed with your clit, egged on by the pretty sounds coming out of you. You grinded your face against him when he licked up and down your cunt, his tongue lapping at your folds. He gripped your thighs even tighter, and let you grip his hair and use him as you pleased.

Your moans got more high pitched and shakier as he used his mouth and strong jaw to work every inch of you, holding you tighter as you squirmed against him. He could tell you were getting closer to he flicked his tongue over your clit again and again, causing you to moan loudly and thread your fingers into the sheets. "F- fuck, oh my god, don't stop, Dom." You cried out.

"I don't plan on it, baby. " He mumbled, his words muffled under your pussy. You moaned at the vibrations of his voice that felt so good against your pussy and sent shivers straight up your spine, threatening to send you over the edge. He noticed your reaction and continued to mumble incoherently as his tongue played with your clit, making you get closer and closer to your high.

You shut your eyes when the pleasure became too much, clenching the sheets even tighter as you came with loud moans that sounded like music to Dom's ears. He helped you ride out your orgasm, licking and slurping your juices up until you were gripping his hair gently and trying to push him away.

Dominik tasted your pussy one last time before coming up to kiss you, smiling against your lips. He looked so pretty, hair matted and messy, his face red and lips soaked with your cum that you could taste as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

"Do I get my reward baby?" He asked, pulling away from the heated kiss, pupils blown out with lust. You wrapped your arms around his neck, his skin breaking out in goosebumps as your lips kissed his sensitive skin, meeting his lips again.

"Of course sweetie, as long as you promise to fuck me so hard I forget everything but you."

He gave you a devilish smile that made your lower body heat up again, and in one swift move scooped you up effortlessly and turned your positions around, smirking down at your naked form.

"I promise. And you know I don't break my promises, mi corazon." His voice dropped into a low sexy whisper, eyes never leaving you like he couldn't wait- needed- to have you right then and there. He gave you one last smirk before lowering down and kissing you with intensity, with passion, like he was trying to tell you all the ways you made him high on you, how you were like a drug that he couldn't let go even if he wanted to.

And as his hands lowered down again, and found that one spot that made your eyes roll back and his cock ache when your body arched into him as if you couldn't get enough of his fingers, he knew he definitely did not want to let you go.

------------------------------------------------------------

You stirred awake gently, shifting under the sheets and feeling warmth surrounding you. Your tired limbs ached as you groggily turned, snuggling and trying to get closer to the heat, feeling a cool breath over your skin. It wasn't until you felt a soft, familiar breath against your neck that your eyes fluttered open, seeing Dominik 's face leaned in the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

You smiled at his sleeping form that was cutely attached to you like a koala bear, like he couldn't get enough of you even while he was sleeping. You managed to move away from him just enough to get your phone from the nightstand, laughing quietly when Dom quickly pulled you back into his arms.

You snuggled back into his arms, turning on your phone and seeing the multiple missed calls and new messages you had come through from the twins, Paul and Solo, and surprisingly Rhea while your phone was silent while you and Dom were definitely the opposite. You didn't even bother opening Paul, Jimmy or Romans messages, you didn't have the energy for it.

You opened Rhea’s message first, the two of you were close but she only texted you for emergencies, so you were a bit worried.

DOM’S DOM So, did you and Dom Dom have fun last night?

You weren’t surprised. It was like she had a sixth sense for when you and Dom hooked up.

Yes, we did. I’m not even gonna ask how you know. Mami always knows sweetheart. Bit disappointed you didn’t come to my room though. I haven’t seen you in forever! I can see you later if you let me use you as a cover.. please? Can't exactly tell my brothers about Dominik, can I? You know I can’t say no to you and I can't resist seeing your cute little ass. Catch you later, princess. 🖤 Thank you! See you later babe💗

JEY<3

Yo sis, I know you still mad but I ain't asking you to talk to them, but at least let me know if you're safe or not.

You smiled at his concern, texting him back. He was one of the few in your family who didn't annoy you, aside from Solo.

Yeah, I'm good, just resting up. Just know I'm not mad at you though, just those two bozo heads. See you later <3

You then opened, and frowned, at Solo’s message.

Solo<3

So you with a guy?

There was no way he knew. You weren’t even at the same hotel?! Why and how the hell did he suspect it?

No, I was rooming with Rhea last night. Why are you asking? Just making sure you good. Roman’s kinda pissed at you. He wants to see you later. I’m good, and Roman can stay pissed for as long as he wants. I said nothing but the truth.

You shut your phone off, not wanting to think about your family acting like man children any longer.

You smiled and let out a sigh when you felt Dom trail kisses down on your neck, it was like he could read your mind. It was one the many things you loved about him; he knew what you needed before you yourself even knew. You leaned back, giving him more access to your neck, enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin. He continued kissing your skin for a few more moments before propping himself up and meeting your eyes, a soft smile on his face as he took you in.

“You sleep well, hermosa?” He asked with that husky morning voice you always wanted to wake up to as his eyes raked over your form, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your skin.

“That was the best sleep I’ve had in a while.” You admitted, giggling at the satisfied smirk that played on his lips.

"I'm glad I could tire you out." Dom teased you, smirk widening when you leaned closer to him to kiss him. Your fingers tracing a path down his chest as you slowly kissed him, savoring the taste of morning on his lips. His arms pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss as if trying to convey all the desire that had built up during the night.

Breaking the kiss, you traced your fingers lightly along the contours of his jawline, savoring the feel of his stubble beneath your touch. He relaxed into your touch, his hazel eyes gazing at you with a knowing look.

"Your idiot family still bothering you?" Dominik treaded lightly, not wanting to ruin the mood.

You rolled your eyes at the mention of them. "They aren't idiots." You gave him a pointed look when he lifted up a brow and he raised his hands up in defense. "But yes, Roman wanted to meet up with me."

"To apologize to you, right?" Dom moved away from you and sat up when he was met with silence and a guilty look. "Don't tell me your thinking of apologizing to him, mi corazon."

"I don't know, Dom," you sighed, also sitting up and running a hand across your face. "I know Jimmy will apologize to me, he loves me too much to stay mad at me. But Roman would rather drop dead than apologize. And it'll just cause tension if we act like we are in a cold war with each other."

Your heart hurt at the look Dominik was giving you, but you didn't know what else to do except reassure him. "Trust me, it's just easier this way."

"It would be easier if you just joined Judgment Day!"

You sighed and shook your head at Dominiks words. It wasn't the first time he brought it up, and it wouldn't be the last time you refused his offer either. After all those late nights hanging out after shows at Waffle House or other rendezvous activities you'd have, with the two of you cuddled up next to each other, away from the pressure of famous families and overzealous egos, when nothing else but the moon could shine a light on your innermost thoughts, was when he would gain the courage to ask you.

You always looked like you were close to considering it, but it would turn morning and all signs of even maybe accepting it would wash away and be replaced with fear and with you bringing up Roman. And he'd drop it, but he never understood why you did. He could protect you, give you the power you wanted with the Judgment Day! Why didn't you trust him? Why were you so scared of Roman?

"You know more than anyone I can't do that, Dom."

"But you can! You want to stay at the top, we can keep you there!" Dominik insisted, running a hand through his hair frustratingly. "The guys will like you, and Rhea already loves you! We won't treat you like Roman. He treats you like—"

"Like family." you finished his sentence, a hint of bitterness in your voice and a look Dominik couldn't place on your face. "And that's why I can't leave him. At least, not right now."

Dominik perked up at your last sentence, his eyes searching yours for a hint of understanding. "Not right now?" he questioned, hope flickering in his gaze.

You gave him a small smile, the look in your eyes telling more than words could. "Not right now."

And that was all the confirmation he needed. He didn't need to know anything else- he knew you'd handle it and come to him when the time was right.

His smile mirrored yours as you moved closer to him, your tone shifted from serious to teasing, wanting to change the tense mood. "But until then, don't get in trouble with my family. Solo already suspects us, I don't need him trying to beat your ass."

Dominik laughed, wrapping an arm around you, the tension between you two dissipating as he responded, "Baby don't worry, you know I can take him."

You gave him an amused smile and leaned into him. "Oh, is that why you were hiding behind Rhea last night?"

Dominik chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "I wasn't hiding behind her! I was just... checking out the best angle to hit him, y'know?"

"Mhm, whatever you say baby." You mocked him, giggling at the pout he gave you and deciding to kiss it off of him. Dominik couldn't help but smile against your lips as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving in sync with yours.

Breaking the kiss, you grinned up at him before looking up at the clock and seeing the time.

"Speaking of Rhea, I promise I would hang out with her later. So I better get out of bed before she beats me up." You barely made a move to get out of bed before Dominik whined and pulled you on top of him.

"Can't you stay here longer? She can wait." Dominik pleaded with puppy dog eyes, begging you to stay with him.

You couldn't help but smile at his puppy dog eyes and how he pulled you back onto the bed. "You're too cute, you know that?"

Dominik grinned, his arms wrapped around you as he nuzzled your neck. "So, does that mean you're staying?"

Your hands gently played with the ends of his hair, "How about this? We hop in the shower, make up for lost time, and once we're all clean and pretty, we can go grab some breakfast, and then I'll meet up with Rhea. Deal?"

Dominiks face lit up with a mischievous grin at the thought of you in the shower with him.

"Deal!" he replied enthusiastically, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. He then reluctantly let you go and climbed out of bed, extending a hand to help you up.

You accepted his hand, allowing him to pull you out of bed and lead you to the bathroom. As soon as all of your clothes were shed and the water was on, Dominik picked you up and smashed his lips onto yours, lifting you and bringing the both of you in the shower.

"Dominik... Not now." You managed to protest between kisses as the warm water cascaded over both of you. He ignored your protests in favor of the moans sputtering out of you as he trailed his lips down your neck, sucking harshly into your supple skin.

"Hermosa, I want to taste my breakfast right now." He mumbled into your skin, addicted to the blissed out expression on your face as continued kissing you, lowering himself onto his knees. He was just enamored and completely addicted to you and the hold you had on him.

And you couldn't get enough of him either, just as addicted to him as he was to you. He was just purely addictive- his personality, his charm, his aura, just him. And as you grabbed a fistful of his hair on the back of his head and guided him right where you wanted him, you knew two things.

Rhea would kill you both after this.

And 2, that you were officially a goner for Dominik. The man who many on the roster called a snake, a manipulative, a liar, a sell out. A man who burned everything he hurt to the ground.

But you wanna know what the scary part was? That you didn't even care.

Not one bit.

And if you got burned?

You would gladly get engulfed in flames if somewhere in that fire you'd get the warmth of his love.

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xsublimelimex · 8 months

Text

The Shy Little Prince -

CW: Diaper messing & breastfeeding

Disclaimer: all characters depicted in this story are consenting adults over the age of 18. If you are NOT 18 or older, click away now!

He’s doing it again. He’s standing legs spread slightly apart crouched the tiniest bit completely silent. He thinks I haven’t noticed but mommy notices everything when it comes to her little prince. Mommy knows that position means one thing and one thing only, he’s messing his diapie.

He’s so cute all red faced clutching his toy blocks squeezing down as he attempts to make his mess. This is probably his second poop in two hours and I can tell he’s embarrassed but little does he know it’s all mommy’s doing. It’s been three days and he hasn’t made a single mess which of course meant I was worried.

Instead of his usual cranapple juice I subbed it for half prune juice to help get him going and boy has it worked wonders! But I know my baby and I can tell he’s distressed which just doesn’t do.

“Sweetie come sit on mommy’s lap.” I call out to him. He looks over and shakes his head, his thumb slips into his mouth. Oh my poor baby he must be feeling even more little than usual. “Baby boy, come to mommy’s lap it’s okay.” I say as softly as I can hand outstretched toward him.

He hesitates as he slowly makes his way over. His diaper is so full he has the cutest little waddle as he approaches. The scent of his mess makes itself known but he’s my sweetie pie so it doesn’t bother me in fact it makes me so happy to know he’s finally emptied his tummy.

My poor baby was having tummy aches for the past few days and I’m just glad it’s over. He rubs at his tear filled eyes as he stops in front of me.

I pull his thumb from his mouth and his lower lip trembles as tears threaten to spill over his eyes. “Baby what has you so upset? Is it your messy diaper? Is that what has you so distraught?” I ask him softly. He looks away and nods his head.

“I’m sorry mommy, I kept messing myself. I couldn’t hold it” he sobs and covers his face with his hands. His shoulders shake with the force of his sobs and my heart just breaks.

I pull him onto my lap, messy diaper and all. I cradle his head on my shoulder and rub his back. “Sweetie please calm down. Mommy would never get upset with you messing yourself. In fact I love it because it means I’m feeding you well and that your tummy is happy.” I speak softly as I rub my thumb across his cheek.

He looks up at me with tears in his eyes and his his lips pursed in disbelief. “Really mommy? But I’m so stinky now.” He whines and I laugh.

“Well baby boy you won’t be stinky for long because mommy’s gonna clean that cute little butt right up and you’ll be in a clean new diapie in no time. So no need to get so upset right?” I boop his nose and his eyes brighten as a smile overcomes his lips. He nods and pulls at the neckline of my v neck top indicating what he needs at that moment.

“Now I think my sweet little prince needs mommy’s milkies before he can get changed, is mommy right?” I ask in a knowing tone. I pull up my top and pull my large heavy tit out of my breastfeeding bra. He looks at my leaking nipple with hungry eyes as his lips open slightly a bit of drool is already leaking out. My poor baby.

“Open wide my sweet little angel.” His lips spread wider and I slip my nipple into his mouth. He begins to suck hungrily as if it’s his last time suckling on mommy’s tits. I gasp as my pussy clenches. He squeezes my tit sucking up as much milk as he can. He closes his eyes and hums as he drinks and it’s the most pure innocent sight I’ve ever seen. His hand pulls at my other boob so I slip my top of completely and snap my bra off.

He hums in approval eliciting a laugh from me. I stroke his forehead and lean down and kiss it. I moan as his fingers find my other nipple and squeeze it, milk dribbling out. “There you go sweetie, keep suckling on mommy’s tits. Such a good little boy.” He starts whining and wiggling his butt.

His hand goes to the back of his diaper and presses down on his mess squishing it against his butt in an attempt to hold in his poopy. Poor baby needs too poop again but is too shy.

I press down hard on his lower belly and he cries out. I quickly slip my hand down to the back of his diapie pushing away his hand and feel as he pushes out a big mess. He grunts and whines around my nipple as he keeps pushing more out. His diaper getting so full to the point that it’s so pushed out you can see inside a bit. “It’s okay honey you can mess as much as you need mommy will take care of it. You look so beautiful with your forehead all scrunched like that trying to squeeze your poopy out.”

I squeeze it the back of his diaper and smush it against his booty. “Good boy I love when you make messes for mommy.”

He sighs as he pisses his diaper the warmth spreading against my belly as he goes. He closes his eyes and begins suckling even harder finally relaxed after making his mess. “Such a good little boy.” I say quietly as I stroke his hair back as he drinks.

Let me know what you guys think!!

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cultofdixon · 2 months

Text

Within Your Warmth

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Y/N finally found a place to sleep and Daryl was going to hit anybody that disturbs her • SFW • TW: Sleep Deprivation

Requested by: Anon

“You coming to the bonfire Rick has going on later?” Rosita asks Y/N while she was in the middle of her fifth task of the day, pantry restock.

“Yeah, if I’m not too exhausted”

“Well there will be alcohol. The new dude Greyson found a case of beers on his run the other day with Eugene.” Rosita hopped up on the only stool in the pantry watching her best friend work. “Even Eugene found a good scotch”

“Now that’s what I’m here for” Y/N laughs lightly finishing the canned goods and about to start putting away the new jarred stuff from Oceanside. “Do you know if Daryl is gonna be there?”

Y/N could sense the smirk on her face resulting in a groan as Rosita quickly popped off the stool bringing herself up behind her bestie.

“The Daryl Dixon? The one you’ve been crushing on since longer before I came along?”

“Yes. That Daryl Dixon”

“So…if Daryl were to come then you’d for sure come?”

“I guess—“ and with that Rosita left the pantry, leaving a confused Y/N to continue doing what she was doing before heading onto the next task.

The bonfire was happening at Alexandria. They rotate through the communities every couple days to keep the connection between their families…even if Maggie doesn’t want to step foot in Alexandria as long as he lives. Daryl was currently residing in the Sanctuary after being tasked to keep an eye on the community which felt more like a punishment and only two people understood that. Carol and Y/N. When Rosita left to find him, she half expected him to be inside yelling at someone. Instead he was working on the gardening plots with a green thumb from the Kingdom and a few Saviors that turned for good.

“Dixon” Rosita brought on her tough exterior when talking to the man in hopes that her asks would be given a positive answer. “I have to ask you something”

“If it’s about the bonfire bullshit, I’m going”

“It’s about——“ Rosita paused, relaxing her shoulders. “Wait. Seriously?”

“Rick asked, so did Aaron. You just missed them” Daryl handed the hoe off to one of the Saviors so he could get close to Rosita. “Why are you askin’?”

“It’s more so trying to get another to go tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Y/N said she’d go if you do…so does that confirm the mutual feeling that brews between the two of you?” Rosita smirks trying to get more out of the archer but he continued to have the same deadpan look from before. Her shoulders instantly slumped and the smirk faded. “Alright, loverboy…I’ll see you tonight”

“Mhm” Daryl let out a small chuckle before returning to work while Rosita headed off.

As the night came and the bonfire was starting, Daryl leaned against the picnic table holding all the goodies they brought out scanning around the intimate event in search for Y/N. Who so happened to be the last to arrive even if she lives in the vicinity.

“Where the hell have you been?” Rosita pulled Y/N aside when she was about to make small talk with someone.

“Uh. My watch shift? I just got relieved”

“What the hell?”

“What? I wasn’t gonna halt my work load for the day to doll myself up for a man who’s probably equally as tired as I am”

“Well hate to disappoint but the man is question” Rosita gently took a hold of her chin, directing her to look at Daryl while he was in the middle of a conversation with Gabriel. “Seems to have showered and dressed nicer than usual. I wonder who it’s for”

Y/N can’t deny that Daryl did indeed look extremely well put together. Did everything they used to beg him to do when they first arrived to Alexandria.

“I’m gonna go see how he’s doing” Y/N shot a smile his way which definitely caught his attention, but when she parted from Rosita to make her way over…she got stopped by Ezekiel and couldn’t just cut her friend off.

Daryl felt his small smile falter when she got pulled away not just once, but a handful of times throughout the night. He hasn’t even seen her eat or drink anything. Y/N was very popular that night and everybody wanted to talk to her, he wanted too as well but no window opened.

Until she was sat in one of the outdoor chairs by the fire, Daryl instantly took the empty one beside her and watched her tiredly look at him.

“Sorry was this—-“

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all night…” Y/N sighs, finally relaxing and keeping her attention on him. “I miss you”

The heat instantly made itself present on the tips of his ears as he tried to fight back a smile.

“Missed yea too sunshine”

The two caught up on what the other has missed regarding their community, ending with Y/N talking about how much Rick is an idiot for having Daryl watch the Sanctuary. A few share that same thought but hers had a whole other meaning.

“You staying the night here?”

“Yeah, figured they’d survive a night without me” Daryl scoffs finishing his beer as Y/N curled up slightly in her chair to get more comfortable.

“Well…I still stay at Rick and Michonne’s. No one touched your room if you’d like to stay there”

“I was actually planning on it…”

“Good” Y/N continues to hold her smile that he will always take a mental picture of. Before she could get another word, Rick quickly cut in to ask Daryl himself about any updates for the Sanctuary.

Which lead the exhaustion to finally hit Y/N after a long day.

When his conversation ended by Rick running off to catch up with Ezekiel, Daryl was going to return to his with Y/N but noticed she fell asleep in her chair. So instead of waking her, he sat with her and made sure no one disturbed her.

Daryl shooed away people, even tossed his empty beer bottle at Aaron who tried to start a conversation (thankfully he caught it)…eventually he got up from his spot and carefully picked up Y/N bridal style which led her to stir awake enough to realize what was happening.

“Oh…”

“You’re alright, imma take yea home”

“Okay, long day” Y/N mumbles resting her head against his chest closing her eyes once more.

On the way to the Grimes residence, Rosita and Michonne went up to make sure Y/N was okay but Daryl quickly gave them a look to back off gently. Nothing was wrong. Thankfully they both understood.

“Who woulda thought it took having Y/N do a lot of shit today to have this tonight” Michonne stated, taking a sip of her scotch as Rosita choked on her beer.

“You’re also trying to get them together?”

“Please. I’ve been trying since our prison days. At least she can finally rest easy tonight…it’s been hard for her with Daryl at the Sanctuary”

“I bet…” Rosita continued to watch the two walk off before leaning close to Michonne with a smirk. “What’d yea win in the bet with Carol?”

“Three night shifts for the bridge camp”

“Nice”

Once they got inside the house and upstairs to Y/N’s room, Daryl gently laid her in the bed before grabbing a blanket draping it over her carefully. What he least expected, Y/N gently took his wrist tugging him back to the bed as he caught the hint or so he thought by bringing him low enough for her to wrap his arms around him.

“Lay with me…”

“Are you su—-“

“I’ve missed you so much Daryl, I’m not letting go of you that easily”

The archer didn’t wait another moment and quickly kicked off his shoes before climbing into the bed laying on top of her. Y/N let him adjust to where his head rested comfortably on her chest letting her run her fingers through his hair.

A satisfied sigh left Daryl’s lips holding her as she held him in a way where she wasn’t going to let go easily.

And he’s thankful for that

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

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daydreaming-nerd · 3 months

Text

Implode (Azriel X Female! Reader)

Summary: You were an anomaly. 300 years ago you fell from the sky, a star personified, taking the form of a High Fae. When Rhysand found you and realized your power you became a part of his inner circle. It wasn’t until years later that you realized that his spymaster was your mate. Still the question lingered in your mind leaving you never fully satisfied, “Why am I here?” Perhaps the losing battle with Hybern would answer that.

A/N: Just thought I would take some time and get some Azriel on the masterlist! And hey look I wrote something where they don’t suck and fuck. But don’t get used to it, as a scorpio it ain’t really my style.

Warnings: Heavy angst, alludes to smut (you knew there was gonna be a lil somethin it’s Azriel for christ sake), blood, I wrote this in the middle of the night so probably grammar mistakes

Words count: 4646

(All pictures are from pinterest)

The war with Hybern was an ongoing one, and one that’s been hundreds of years in the making. So far the Night Court had yet to engage but I could feel Rhysand growing restless. Velaris was safe, but for how much longer? A few months ago he talked about taking the fight to Hybern, sooner rather than later, in order to try and protect his civilians. As his third in command I agreed with him.

I became Rhysand’s third in command several years ago after finally earning his trust. I wasn’t always part of his beloved inner circle, in fact when I fell from the sky I spent the first month on Prythian in the Hewn City dungeons. Rhys wanted to know why I had fallen into his court, but the truth was I didn’t know. The only memory I had was an image of the night sky, followed by falling, and then Azriel found me in the grass. Of course this wasn’t a good enough answer for the High Lord but after Rhysand finally realized that I was telling the truth about where I was from. We spent the next several years trying to figure out how it could be but found nothing.

Nevertheless I grew to love Velaris and the place I now called home. I loved late night drinks with Mor, decorating the townhouse with Cassian for Solstice, talking politics with Rhysand, teasing the others with Amren, but most of all I loved Azriel.

Even though Azriel was the one who found me, the bond didn’t snap into place right away. I had always had an affinity for the Illyrian, and even though I was once a non-sentient being, I knew that by all standards he was gorgeous. He seemed to have the same attraction to me as well, though we never acted on it. It wasn’t until a drunken night at Rita’s about 100 years after he found me that we realized we were mates.

The inner circle had gotten together for dinner, and dinner had turned into a couple bottles of wine and a couple turned into way too many. Azriel and I had been throwing flirty glances back and forth all night, finally having the liquid courage to do so. I ended up being the first to leave that night and of course Azriel offered to fly me home…

“There is no way you’re walking home, not in those shoes,” Azriel laughed.

“What’s the matter with my shoes?” I protest swigging the last sip of my wine.

“You’re gonna bust your ass starchild,” Cassian said using my nickname he gave me years ago.

“I most certainly am not!” I slur. I go to stand up from the booth to prove my point and nearly topple over causing the table to shift and Mor to spill some of her wine. The whole group erupted in laughter.

“Come on y/n, I’ll fly you home,” Azriel chuckled, rising from the booth.

I braced myself on his shoulder to slip the stilettos off my feet so I could hold them in my hands. The second my bare feet hit the ground I was reminded by how much larger he was than me, and in my wine drunk state my stomach bottomed out in arousal. I waved goodbye to everyone as Az led me out of the small club.

“Tonight was fun,” I smiled drunkenly, my feet touching the cold wet cobblestones just outside Rita’s. I started to wobble a bit when Azriel grabbed me by my waist and hauled me up. All I could do was look into his golden eyes as I felt his hand spread across the bare skin there from my backless dress.

I didn’t think twice before grabbing him by the collar and pulling him in for a kiss. The second I did it I realized what I had done, and I would’ve panicked if it had not been for the moan that fell from his lips as I pulled back. His other hand hit my waist pulling me closer to him making me stand on my tip toes. I felt my back hit the wall outside Rita’s as he deepened the kiss.

“God I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he groans, grip tightening on my waist.

“Then what’s keeping you from doing it again, Shadowsinger?” I smirk.

“Not a damn thing,” he smiled, connecting our lips again.

I was a mess of pure lust, because just like him, I had been dying to do this for years. Even dreaming about it on several occasions. But to have it happening was the most intense feeling I had ever known. My head was so clouded with need that I barely felt his mouth leave mine to kiss my neck. I tangled my hands in his hair pulling him closer and he reached his hands under my legs and picked me up so I wouldn’t have to strain to meet him.

He kissed a spot on my neck that was particularly sensitive, coaxing a moan from my mouth that drove him so wild he bit me. That was the moment we felt it. That mating bond snapping into place. He whipped his head back to meet my eyes, looking to see if I had felt it too.

“Oh my gods,” I breathed.

“We’re mates,” he stated though his own ragged breaths.

“Yes, mates,” I choked out, my brain still too cloudy to say anything as I searched his face for a sign of dread. Maybe he didn’t want to be mated, to me.

A smile broke his lips as he pressed his forehead to mine, “We’re mates,” he said again like he was trying to assure himself it was true.

“We are,” I giggled, happy to see that he was okay with this, that he wanted it as much as I did.

“You’re my mate,” he smiled, brushing stray hair from my face.

“Your mate,” I laughed joyously, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. I heard the door to Rita’s swing open.

“I knew it!” Mor screamed drunkenly. “I knew they were secretly dating, Cassian, you owe me 50 gold!”

“Not dating, mates.” Azriel barked proudly.

“Ha! Mor you owe me 100 gold now!” Rhysand laughed at Mor.

“That’s too bad Az I was hoping y/n could give me a ride later,” Cassian taunted earning a possessive growl from Azriel. The whole group laughed.

Needless to say Azriel flew me to the cabin in the Illyrian mountains that night and we didn’t leave for two weeks straight.

…that was years ago and since then our family has had new additions like Rhysand’s mate Feyre and her sisters. One thing hadn’t changed though, me and Azriel’s mated bliss.

I was waiting in the townhouse living room with the entire inner circle to talk about war plans. Well, most of the inner circle, Cassian and Azriel had taken a trip to inform the Illyrians that war was indeed coming and had been gone for a week.

“Thanks again for the wine, Rhys!” I smile, holding up my glass and clinking it to Mor’s.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to thank the person you stole the wine from,” he rolls his eyes.

“Maybe not, but it makes me feel less guilty about it,” I laugh while taking another swig. I sit and observe Rhys watching Feyre’s every movement, feeling warm and fuzzy from seeing him so happy.

Almost as if in response a shadow brushes down my cheek and I see Rhysand’s eyes flit up behind me with a smirk. I turn in my chair to find Azriel leaning in the doorway.

“Az!” I yell, jumping up and thrusting my wine glass into Mor’s hand. He gives me a knowing smile as I jump into his arms.

“I missed you too, my little star,” he smiled holding me close.

Cassian walked in just moments after and we joined the others in the living room. The second we were seated, and Rhysand stood to address us, it was like all the joy was sucked out of the room. We all knew how serious the topic was, and how even though we had spent many months avoiding it, it had finally come to call.

“I’ve heard reports that Hybern’s army is gathering, and it’s bigger than we expected,” Rhys stated.

“How much bigger?” Amren inquired.

“We once believed his army to be 70,000 men, now we know that it's over 100,000.” he replied grimly. My heart sank at his words.

“Well what did Devlon say?” I ask Azriel.

“He said that the Illyrians would fight, but if Hybern has an army of over 100,000 it’s still cutting it close.” Az replied.

“How close are they to being fully assembled?” Cassian asks.

A beat of silence passes and Rhys looks to Feyre, “By the end of this week they will be on Prythian soil, maybe next week if we are lucky.” he divulges.

“What if we called upon Bryaxis? The Bone Carver? The Attor? They might come to our aid.” Feyre pointed out and I didn’t miss the wince from Cassian at the mention of Bryaxis.

“That could help,” Rhysand nodded. “But there’s no telling what they’ll do once the battle starts.”

“But it’s worth a shot is it not?” Mor urged.

“We can look into it,” Rhysand nodded once more.

The rest of the night was filled with more talk of strategy and thinking of potential allies to call upon, but in the end Feyre’s suggestion was the best one. We all left the townhouse feeling more somber that night, something that rarely happened when we were all gathered together. Azriel flew us home and neither of us said anything. I thought about what Rhys had said, and how we were resorting to calling upon monsters to come to our aid. It wasn’t until after Azriel showered that he finally spoke up.

“You have no idea how good it feels to be home,” he groaned, flopping on the bed. I had slipped into one of my nightgowns and was sitting under the covers reading my book.

“I’m glad you’re home,” I smiled, running a hand through his wet hair. He plucked my bookmark for where it was beside me and placed it in my open book. A habit that he picked up years ago when he grabbed my book from out of my hand in exchange for a kiss and didn’t bookmark where I was. I had never been so furious with the man.

“Come here you,” he said, tossing my book to the side and pulling me into his chest. I giggled as he wrapped his arms around me, and breathed in. “You smell so good,” he practically groans.

“You mean I don’t smell like a sweaty Illyrian?” I chuckle, pressing a kiss to his bare chest.

“Yes, precisely,” he laughs, looking down at me with love and adoration. “Have I ever told you that you get kind of glowy at night? Like you literally have a faint glow about you.”

“Well I am a star,” I smile, pulling my hand out of the cocoon he has me in to let some starlight dance off my fingers.

“How could I ever forget,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to my brow.

A moment of silence passes and I can’t help but think about the war again, this time I don’t keep quiet about my fears.

“What do you think we’re going to do about Hybern?” I whisper.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “All we can do is hope that our allies come.”

“But even then, will it be enough?” I ask.

“It might be, but there’s no telling.” he states honestly.

“Could this really be the end of everything? Everything we’ve ever known will be ripped away from us. Velaris, our family, the two of us.” I confess.

“Hey,” he coos, taking my face in his hands, “Don’t think like that. We’re going to figure this out. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

“And who’s going to take care of you?” I ask, tears brimming my eyes.

“Rhys and Cassian,” he says. I know he feels my fear too, that he’s trying to put on a brave face for his mate. But the fact of the matter is that this is war, and not everyone is coming home. Part of me wants to interrogate further, but I know no matter how many times I ask or rephrase the question, I’m going to get the same answer. Because at the end of the day, neither of us knows what is going to happen.

So I just burrow my head into his chest and say, “Don’t you dare leave me Az.”

"Never mate, never."

That night I dream of clashing swords and soaring Illyrians. I hear war cries and screams of agony. I see blood and mud and bodies skewed across a battlefield. I smell death and decay and burnt flesh. I feel dread and despair. But then there is a blinding light, and there is peace and I hear nothing at all.

I wake the next morning from my dream and slip of out Azriel’s grasp, thankful that he was so tired from the trip from Windhaven that he doesn’t even stir. I get dressed and make my way to Rhysand’s town house. It had taken me all morning to realize what I had been shown in my dream, what it meant. I could only hope that my High Lord would understand it as I did.

I reach his office door and hesitate to knock. I don’t know why, I’ve known the man for hundreds of years. Eventually I do.

“Come in,” Rhysand beckons.

I step in and immediately wish I had kept my mental shields up, I feel Rhys probe my mind and catch a small glimpse of my thoughts. Before he can speak I cut in first.

“We need to talk to Rhys,” I say curtly.

“No y/n we aren’t having this conversation,” he dismisses me turning back to his papers.

“Rhys, I can end this war,” I argue.

“I won’t let you, not in the way you are thinking right now,” he bristles.

“Rhys, listen to me! I can take out the king and half of his army before he even lands a blow on you guys!” I inform him.

“How?” he stops and asks in a demeaning fashion.

I take a deep breath and take a step closer to him. “What do stars do when they die Rhys?” I say slowly.

A deafening silence fills the room, and I see his violet eyes fill with an understanding and realization.

“They explode,” he states.

“And they take Hybern and half of his army with them,” I reiterate, bracing my arms against his desk.

“You would die though,” he states in a way that’s more like a question.

“Yes I would die,” I confirm.

“You would do that to Azriel?” he asks, not believing what I was saying.

“No, but I would do it for him,” I say earnestly.

“Absolutely not, I won’t let Azriel lose his mate.” he says and it sounds more like an order.

I don’t flinch. I knew Rhysand would say this so I continue with my already prepared speech. “You’ll change your mind. When you realize you have more to lose than you originally thought. When you realize that your mate’s life hangs in the balance. That all you’ve gained lies in the balance. You’ll change your mind, and I’ll be ready when you do.”

“So I’m supposed to sacrifice you to save myself? Sacrifice Azriel’s mate to save my own?” he argues.

“You’re not sacrificing me. I’m choosing this. Choosing to give Azriel a chance to live. A chance at life… My final gift, to him, to all of you.” I start. “My whole life, it has never made sense as to why I’m here. Why a star fell from the sky and just happened to find Azriel. But now it does, this was the reason.” I explain.

There’s another silence in the room as Rhysand takes in all that I’ve said. My explanation for being here. Because I was right, it never did make sense that I would be a star personified. Yet here I was.

“You shouldn’t have to do this,” he says sadly, seemingly accepting that this might be the only chance he has to save Prythian.

“This is war Rhys, not a fairytale. Sacrifices must be made, for the greater good.” I say firmly.

“How are we supposed to tell Azriel this plan?” he asks, running a hand through his hair, stress evident on his face.

I know that everything I’ve told Rhys up until this point has angered and hurt him, but I have one last bandage to rip off, “We’re not going to tell him,” I deadpan.

“Y/n you know-”

“That he won’t let me do this?” I cut him off. “Yes I do. That’s why we can’t tell him. I’ve made my choice, telling him won’t change anything. But it will taint the time we have left together. Let us have this last little bit of time and then I will end this war so that you can have more.” I plead.

Rhys doesn’t say anything as he once again takes in my words. But I see the acceptance in his demeanor as he stands up and walks around his desk. He doesn’t speak, he just pulls me into his arms and hugs me. I throw my arms around him as a tear falls from my face.

“You are the bravest person I’ve ever known. I can never repay you for your sacrifice, all I can do is promise you that you will forever be honored and remembered in this court,” he says and I can feel him crying.

“But there is something you can do,” I say.

“What? I’ll do anything.” he backs away to look me in the eye.

“Don’t let my sacrifice go to waste. Make sure that Azriel lives when all this is said and done.” I beg him, a tear slipping from my eye.

The war comes quickly after that. or perhaps it just feels like it does because my life is suddenly on a timer. It isn't long until Hyberns forces gather on the shores of Prythian. We gather the Night Court's Army, the Illyrians and all the allies we can and march to meet them.

The war camp is a mess of fires, blades and soldiers of every kind. I’m practically glued to Azriel’s side, not only because I’m trying to soak up every lasting moment with him, but because he said, and I quote, “I would rather die than leave my devastatingly beautiful mate alone in a campsite full of war bound men looking for one last lay before the battlefield.”

The night before the battle Azriel made love to me in our tent, neither of us daring to say that it could be the last time we would ever get to lie with one another. Only Rhysand and I knew about the plan. It was too risky to tell anyone else, and like I had explained to Rhys before, I didn't want Azriel and I’s last days together to be tainted with constant tears. If I was going to die, I wanted us to be us.

That’s how we found ourselves here, at the front lines, our entire army behind us. Thankfully we were on top of a hill giving us somewhat of an upper hand. Bryaxis, The Bone Carver, and The Attor had in fact come to our aid, giving them the upperhand to deal with those who went unaffected by my blast. As we looked out over Hybern’s army that was a little over 400 yards away I couldn’t help but to cower into Azriel’s side. I looked to see Feyre doing the same to Rhys behind us. He made eye contact with me, and as I heard Hybern’s army in the background I knew it was time.

I stepped away from Azriel’s side and faced him. Took in every single curve of his face, and the way that his eyes caught the sun. I ran my hand down his cheek and he gave me a half smile. I prayed to whoever was listening, that I would remember his face. That wherever I went next I would have the ability to remember every moment I got to share with him in this world, and be grateful for what a gift it was.

“Whatever happens out there today,” I start to say. “I want you to know that I love you. I know I’ve said it a million times, but I could’ve said it more, should have. And I want you to know that you were the greatest gift I’ve ever known, and that if this was all the time we had, I’m grateful for every moment of it. I was lucky enough to find you in this world, I promise to find you in every other one.” I tell him, a tear going down my face as I throw my arms around his neck.

I can feel him smile into my shoulder as he says, “I love you too mate.”

I hold him tightly for the last time and open my eyes to find Rhys staring at me waiting for the signal. “Now,” I mouth to Rhys and he uses his magic to restrain Azriel. I slip one of Azriel’s daggers out his pocket, being sure to avoid Truth Teller, and I turn around and begin to walk down the hill towards Hybern’s Army.

Rhys and I had spent plenty of time coming up with the plan. I had to arrive at the battlefield without weapons, just leathers. I had never used weapons before, having always relied solely on my magic. It would’ve raised suspicion if I had brought any. We made sure our army was far enough away that with the efforts of Rhysand’s wards and the distance, the blast wouldn’t impact our own forces. I walked down to the army alone, appearing as though I am coming as an emissary to speak to them, after all I was just a tiny female, what harm could I do?

I walked with my chin held high, trying to appear as if I was a collected soldier coming to speak on behalf of my general. It was the hardest and longest walk of my life, as no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t drown out the screams of my mate behind me.

“Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Azriel screamed, his voice already horse. “RHYS LET ME GO SHE’S GOING DOWN THERE ALL BY HERSELF!”

I shudder at his words and try to keep a stiff upper lip as I get closer to Hybern’s army.

“HE’S GOING TO KILL HER, LET ME GO!” Azriel growled, a voice so deadly it could only belong to a male who’s mate was in danger.

As I get even closer I see the King of Hybern emerge from the army readying himself to receive my message.

“CASSIAN COMMAND THE ARMY TO OPEN FIRE!” Azriel pleads and I can hear him struggling against Rhys’ power.

“Cassian hold our position!” Rhysand bellows.

“Rhys what the fuck?!” Cassain shouts.

“THAT’S AN ORDER GENERAL!” Rhysand screams, sounding more like a High Lord than ever before.

I approach Hybern, dagger hidden behind me, lodged in my belt.

“PLEASE THAT’S MY MATE!”

I stand before the army.

“Have you come to surrender little one?” The King of Hybern croons, earring a laugh from his surrounding Generals and Captains.

“No, I’ve come to end you,” I muse.

I take a deep breath and pull the dagger from behind me and plunge it through my heart. The last thing I hear is Azriel’s scream before blinding white light erupts from me, and then I don’t feel anything at all.

Azriel:

The battle is easily won but at what cost? After y/n put that dagger through her heart more than half of Hybern’s army was wiped off the face of the earth. The battle was bloody but short and in the aftermath I found myself searching the field for my little star, my mate.

“Y/N!” I scream for her, voice torn.

I scan my surroundings looking for any glimpse of her, but I don’t see her, and I don’t feel her anymore either. She’s not gone, she’s not gone, she’s not gone, I keep telling myself.

“Y/N!” I scream again as I continue to look.

I keep flying until I see her. She has about a three foot blast radius around her where not even the grass is still growing, and her small form is lying there, unmoving. I slam into the ground and run toward her.

“No, no, no, no!” I curse as I fall to my knees before her. She’s covered in blood and mud from being trampled.

I take her into my arms and she’s so cold. So small and so cold.

“Baby please wake up,” I cry, brushing her hair out of her face. “Come on, you said you wouldn’t leave me!”

I sense Rhys and Cassian landing behind me and I can hear Feyre’s sobs.

“Please, please, please baby I can’t live without you,” I press my forehead to hers.

I cry and I beg for what feels like hours, but she doesn’t wake up. I reach inside me to tug at the bond, my last ditch effort to bring her back, but when I reach inside myself there’s nothing there.

At first there was nothing, just Azriel’s scream echoing in my brain and then there was silence. But now flickering in the distance I saw him, saw my mate, and I knew then and there that this was the cauldron’s last gift to me.

“Azriel,” I sang into the void like subspace.

“Y/n?” he asked, unsure of what was happening. He was wearing his pants he always wore to bed, which meant I was seeing him in his dream.

“Yes it’s me Az,” I smile, tears brimming my eyes.

“I’m just dreaming right?” he asks again.

“No,” I laugh walking over to him, grabbing him by his forearms. “It’s really me. I’m here somehow.”

“Oh my gods, I’ve missed you so much,” he breaks, voice cracking as he hugs me tight.

“How long has it been since the battle?” I ask.

“A little over a week,” he says standing back so he can look at me. “Why y/n? Why did you do it?”

I nearly broke at his words, “This was always the plan Az, we just didn’t know it till now.” I explain.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I think the universe knew that I was supposed to save you. That’s why I fell from the sky, that’s why you found me. Why the cauldron made us mates.” I tell him, tears falling from my eyes as my hand wipes away his.

“Why didn’t you tell me though?” he cries.

“Would you have let me sacrifice myself if I did?” I ask. “I wanted my last few days with you to be as normal as they could be.”

Silent tears fall from his eyes, “But what do I do without you?”

“You live Azriel,” I smile. “You were the greatest joy I ever knew Az. I did this so you could live, with Cassian and Rhys. I told you I would find you in every world, you still have things to do in your world, but I’ll find you in this one too when your time comes.”

“How do I live without you?”

“You never will, I am a star after all.”

#azriel x reader fluff #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader angst #azriel angst

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bluebeary-jay · 1 year

Text

How easy you are to need

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel notices that the peaceful life in Jackson has its consequences. he is not happy about it (based on this wonderful ask!)

Tags: TONS OF ANGST, but also FLUFF, established relationship, ahh intrusive thoughts (how much i hate them), Joel is probably ooc but i don't care anymore, also he's soft and insecure and vulnerable

Warnings: body dismorphia and lots of self-loathing on Joel's side, at one (two?) points borderline on smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hihihi, swearing, drinking (just mentioned), suggestive stuff bc apparently i can't help myself 😌

Word count: 8K ! (8028 specifically woah)

A/N: the next fic will definitely be shorter bc i really need to start caring less about the quality of my work, it takes way too long for my liking. buuut anyway as always 🎶i hope yall will like it🎶 this is my birthday gift for you guys 💕

Joel looked at himself in the mirror with furrowed brows.

He pulled in his stomach and tried to zip his pants. It still fit, but barely. He undid the zip, turned to the side and looked at his reflection again, just to make sure.

Yeah. This pair was definitely loose until a while ago.

He glanced at the door, but didn’t hear you coming, so he sighed and looked in the mirror again. Joel was never particularly muscular, but he could no longer see those thin lines which accentuated his torso before. There was also a bit of fat above the hem of his jeans, and his frame seemed somehow heavier…

Good thing his left ear was directed to the door, because he heard the moment the water in the shower stopped running, which meant you were coming back from the bathroom. Joel spared himself one last wary look and zipped up his pants before turning around to your shared bed where his shirt lay discarded.

He was putting his arms into the sleeves when you entered. A couple of light steps, and then Joel smiled when he felt your arms wrapping around his torso. He glanced over his shoulder at you.

“You took your sweet time in the shower,” he pointed out, and he could feel your smile when you pressed your face to his back.

“We finally have hot water, so I’m gonna use it every chance I get.”

“You left some for me?”

You huffed a laugh and went around him, moving his hands away and starting to button his shirt yourself.

“There would be, if you took a shower with me.”

“Next time, sweetheart,” he chuckled and leaned in to kiss your forehead softly, combing his fingers through your wet hair. He hummed. “Your hair smells nice.”

“It’s that shampoo Ellie didn’t want.” You shook your head with a smile. “I have no idea why, it’s fantastic.”

You buttoned up the last button and smoothed your palms over his chest and down, lastly resting them on his waist. Internally Joel furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if he could always feel this fold when you put your hands in that place.

“You look handsome,” you whispered, looking up at him with twinkling eyes and such a soft, love-struck expression on your face that Joel felt his throat constricting. Everything but the sight of you faded from his mind, and he joined his hands behind your back, pulling you closer into his chest and basking in this precious smile you blessed him with. “Especially with the bed hair.”

“It’s your doin’, you know,” he murmured in response, nudging your nose with his and reminiscing how you tugged and raked your nails through his hair the night before. “You gotta be careful with it, sweet girl. If you continue doin’ it, m’gonna go bald soon.”

You hummed noncommittally and leaned against his chest, standing on your tip-toes. “I’ll take it under consideration. No promises, though.”

Joel lifted his hand to the back of your neck and kissed you slowly, reveling in the soft sigh that left your lips. You rested your palm above his heart, leaning forward to the point that you would fall over if he wasn’t supporting your weight.

But Joel held you tight and close to his body, gladly steadying you as you deepened the kiss, once again tugging on his graying hair in that way he adored. He wanted to tease you about it, but his thoughts strayed to the image of his body again when you lowered your hand from his chest to his side.

“You remember that tonight is this party?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Joel gave up pondering about his physique and sighed heavily at your question, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Yeah, I remember. Regrettably.”

“I don’t want to go, either,” you whispered with guilt, as if someone would hear you both. “But Tommy really wanted us to come and… Just don’t make me go alone.”

“Hey, darlin’.” Joel took your face in his hands and looked deeply into your eyes. “I promised, didn’t I? M’not gonna leave you there on your own.” He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against them. “And mind you, I gotta make sure no one will try to seduce and steal you away from me.”

You giggled, and you were standing so close that Joel could feel your eyelashes tickling his skin. He held you close when you tried to take a step back, and your lips collided again.

“That is the one thing you don’t need to ever worry about,” you murmured quietly into the space between you two. “How could I even look at other people when I have you all to myself?”

Joel’s reflection in the mirror flashed across his mind again and a small wave of uncertainty rippled through him, but it quickly disappeared when you opened your eyes and looked at him with this raw love radiating from them. Your every word, every affectionate gesture only confirmed his conviction that you meant every word you said.

So why did he still feel so uncertain?

*****

Life in Jackson was perfect. Considering the state of the world right now, living here was like winning a lottery.

Joel had a lot to be thankful for, he was well aware of that. No longer had he any fears or sense of guilt about going to sleep and leaving you and Ellie defenseless if something were to happen. He didn’t have to count rations anymore, worrying that the kid would be forced to march all day hungry. There was now no need to keep a watchful eye for new clothes if someone’s worn off, ripped or got soaked from walking in the rain, posing a threat of you or Ellie catching a cold.

Back in Boston it wasn’t much different, though he and you had at least a bed to sleep in, as uncomfortable as it was. But there was never enough food for all those people Fedra kept there, and the winters were cold as hell, leaving at least one of you a bit sick every year.

None of those things were keeping him awake at night anymore. The only people he had to take care of – you and Ellie – were safe and comfortable. None of you had to starve or freeze, and you all didn’t have to continue walking across the country for days and days without end, struggling to survive.

Maybe that was the problem.

Joel wasn’t stupid. He knew that those luxuries he had an access to now were at the root of his problem. Before you all settled in Jackson, you were constantly on the move, fighting for your lives in one way or another, so of course he was… leaner and more fit back then. It was never something he paid attention to, though, never something he concerned himself with.

But now you three were living here, surrounded by more people than Joel could count, and he couldn’t help but… notice things about them.

Especially about all those men and women who looked at you in a different way.

Due to the nature of the party Tommy invited them to – mainly consisting of dancing and talking in the biggest bar in Jackson – Joel had a lot of time to ponder about his situation, all while nursing his drink and looking at you from across the room with his elbows resting on the table.

You were chatting with one of your friends near the counter, laughing and smiling so beautifully. No matter where Joel’s eyes strayed, they always came back to your person, as if you were the moon against the pitch black sky, reflecting some imperceptible light.

Some guy he knew by sight – Chuck? Bart? – walked up and tapped you on the shoulder, and from what Joel could tell, he was offering you a drink. He was standing way too close, though, and you took a step closer to your friend, shaking your head. Chuck – or Bart – persisted for another half a minute, but eventually shrugged and shuffled off, his movements tense.

Joel didn’t move. He knew from experience that you’d let him know if you needed his help.

As if sensing his gaze, you turned your head and sent him a radiant smile. He mirrored it, lifting his glass slightly like he was toasting you, which made you do the same before resuming the conversation with your friend.

His smile disappeared as soon as you stopped looking at him. Joel sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers, feeling a headache coming from the dull lights and loud chatter all around.

It were moments like this when it hit him just how old he was compared to you.

You were a sweet, young thing. Funny, sharp, drop-dead gorgeous… No wonder some people were seeking your attention. That guy was just one of the half a dozen he saw or heard about since you moved to Jackson.

Joel knew you were a loyal sort – God, he knew that, he knew you for so long now – but every time he saw you talking to someone else, his treacherous mind started to wonder if he wasn’t somehow keeping you chained to his person.

It was probably alcohol talking, but Lord, if he wasn’t reminded of how old he was compared to you every time he saw you next to your peers. You still had so much life ahead of you, and he was pushing sixty, for fuck’s sake. Before long he’ll be old and decrepit, unable to bring something useful to the table or help you in any way, and you’d still be as pretty as ever, trapped in a relationship with an old man.

For example, that guy – Chuck, or whomever – was way closer to your age, had handsome features, and Joel knew for a fact he was working at tree felling, so he had to be muscular, too.

Joel was once, too. Once.

He subtly ran his hand across his stomach under the jacket, his brows furrowed, and leaned back on the bench to get rid of those damned fat folds.

He sighed and downed the rest of the liquor in his glass, trying very hard not to think about it, not to put himself down like that and let those cruel thoughts fester in his mind, but no matter what, he couldn’t stop comparing himself to this guy, and also… how you looked next to him.

Shit. What if he was doing you more harm than good by continuing to stay with you?

“I could pickpocket you and you wouldn’t notice.”

Joel looked up, abruptly pulled out of his thoughts. You were standing over his table with your head tilted and still that beaming smile on your face.

“What are you thinking about, handsome?”

He opened his mouth, glanced in the direction of the bar, and closed it. There was no sign of any of the people you just talked with.

“Nothin’,” he replied, maybe a little too dryly, so he quickly changed the subject. “You havin’ fun?”

“Yeah, it’s nicer than I thought.” You looked around and then spotted the empty glass on the table in front of him. “Do you want me to bring you another one?”

“No, there’s no need,” he grumbled, but you had already put your drink down and sent him a wink.

“I'll be right back, baby.”

Joel hissed your name but you just looked over your shoulder with a smirk, swinging your hips provocatively to the music and ignoring him completely. He sighed heavily, slumping in his seat.

He needed to get his shit together. Fuck his insecurities, he didn’t want to take his frustration out on you when you were nothing but a ray of sunshine in his life, always so good and affectionate.

Joel’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when he searched for you in the crowd and noticed another man, this time one he didn’t know, swinging his arm over your shoulders while you waited at the bar. He tried to read your body language from here, but you didn’t seem particularly uncomfortable with the man’s actions. Joel furrowed his brows, a pit of uncertainty forming in his stomach again... but then you threw the man’s heavy limb off your shoulders and went back to Joel’s table as soon as you got the drink.

“Thanks, darlin’,” he murmured, taking a large gulp despite telling himself earlier that he was done drinking for today. “Were you okay back there?” He pointed his chin towards the bar.

You sat down next to him and smiled innocently. “Whatever do you mean?”

Joel knew you long enough to recognize when you were teasing him, and he smirked despite the doubts swirling in his mind.

“Was that guy givin’ you any trouble?” he asked lazily, deciding to play along.

“Would you beat the shit out of him if I said yes?” you asked with your eyebrows raised, and Joel shrugged, acting nonchalant.

“Probably.”

You giggled and bumped his shoulder with yours playfully.

“Then no. Peter’s a good guy. Just a little,” you seemed to be looking for the right word, “uhm, persistent.” When Joel sent you a dubious look, you rolled your eyes and made a face. “He’s politely hitting on me, but doesn’t get that I’m not interested. He works at the same place I do.”

“If he keeps makin’ you uncomfortable, that’s not very polite.” You squinted at him and Joel lifted his hands in fake surrender. “M’not sayin’ anythin’. You can take care of yourself, I know that.”

You hummed melodically and glanced at the bar, then back at Joel. Then back at the bar again where that Peter guy stood. Joel noticed you biting the inside of your cheek, so he gently nudged your knee with his.

“What’s on your mind, sweet girl?”

“Maybe you could help me make it clear that I’m taken?” you blurted out quickly, making him crack a smile and chuckle under his breath.

It was so very easy to forget about all the problems in the world when you were there, sitting right next to him and warming his soul and body with your mere presence.

“Come ‘ere,” he breathed and tugged you gently to sit on his lap. You faltered, but he gave your hand another light tug, and finally you let him guide you, putting one arm around his shoulders and making yourself comfortable.

Joel’s hand mindlessly went to rest on your thigh and he rubbed it comfortingly. That Peter guy, as he noted with satisfaction, was staring right back at you, eyeing the way your body was pressed flush against Joel’s with a twisted face.

Once the eyes of the both men met, Joel leaned in and kissed your neck, keeping eye contact the entire time. Peter turned away, taking a large swig from his glass.

Joel felt your muscles relaxing, and you giggled adorably next to his ear at his antics, hiding your neck between your shoulders when he nibbled at your skin lightly. Then your hand covered his, the one lying on your thigh, and stroked his skin lovingly.

Maybe Joel was keeping you chained somehow. Then again, he was but a selfish creature after all. He didn’t know if he could bring himself to ever truly let you go.

*****

The next few days – which then turned into weeks – Joel spent wondering. Mostly about what to do with his predicaments.

He had a couple of them.

The first problem was the nights. They became more difficult since he noticed… details about himself that weren’t there before, and which bothered him more and more with each day.

Joel used to love the nightfall, especially since you all settled in Jackson. In those evening hours no one bothered him, he could finally relax, spend some time alone with you, and later collapse on the bed to get a good-night sleep.

Well, not anymore.

The bedtime unexpectedly became the most stressful one for him. He was so fucking mad at himself, because laying down and having a chance to hold you in his arms was something he treasured for the longest time, but now his own insecurities stood in a way of it.

You loved cuddling and being close to him in your sleep, and Joel was never bothered by it – hell, he initiated those moments more often than not. But now he started noticing more and more how this layer of fat on his stomach moved and looked like when you draped your arm around him or snuggled closer to his chest, and it became all he could think about.

It bothered Joel so much that he started wearing a t-shirt to bed, even though he hated it with all his passion. When you asked about it, he lied that he’s cold, but in reality he was always sweaty by morning. It didn’t seem to make any difference to you, though, and you didn’t shy away from pressing your body close to his, and even slipping your hands under his shirt when you were spooning him. Some days Joel was waking up with you lying on his chest or having your arm slung across his belly, and every time it caused a lump in his throat.

He knew you didn’t mean anything bad by it – for God’s sake, you probably didn’t even have any idea that he had a problem with himself – but what once was a wonderful start of the day, now became a bitter reminder of all those things he was insecure about.

Recently he built a habit of waking up before you – he did it often before, but he always stayed in bed and waited for you to open your eyes, too – and carefully disentangling himself from your embrace. It wasn’t like it didn’t feel wonderful to be enveloped by you in this way, but once he stirred awake, lying still was a herculean task. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, his skin was itching and buzzing, he was sweating from nerves and a lot of horrible, self-depriving thoughts were flooding his mind.

So once he woke up, he’d go take a shower, trying to be a little bit louder than necessary in hopes that you’d already be awake when he gets back – so that he wouldn’t feel so guilty about not laying back down next to you.

The second of his problems was that you began to watch him more closely.

He didn’t know when it started happening, but in hindsight he realized it was just a matter of time – he was acting weird, after all, and you knew him too well not to notice anything.

A couple of times in the last few days only, Joel caught you staring at him in silence. Your eyes were solemn and your forehead sad, though you were quick to smile and act like nothing was amiss as soon as he turned your way.

You must have known something was wrong, but Joel didn’t ask about it. Honestly, with all that was happening in his own head, he didn’t want to know.

But at the same time it was as if nothing odd was happening. You were your usual self, a blessing in Joel’s life, and you still sought to be close to him and spend as much time together as possible. You still told him you loved him, surprised him with unexpected gestures of affection…

Just like today – you hugged him from behind while he was dressing up, started kissing his shoulders so tenderly and murmuring sweet nothings into his skin… In those moments Joel could almost forget about everything that was nagging him. It was easy to believe that you still liked the way he looked, that he was deserving of you, when you treated him with nothing but overwhelming love.

But the itch in the back of his mind never really disappeared. Even though he wanted it to.

Those thoughts filled his mind while you were sitting on his lap, telling him some story from work in a soft voice. You two were at Tommy’s, waiting for him to get back from helping his wife with something, and the day was so beautiful that you all went out onto the patio in front of the house to enjoy the unusually warm weather for this time of the year.

Joel’s hand was on your thigh, stroking it absentmindedly, while he nodded to whatever you were saying, but for the life of him, he could not focus.

Has your physique changed as well? Joel didn’t care about those things, of course, and in his eyes you were as breathtaking as ever – maybe even more, since so many of your worries disappeared and he got to see your smile more often. And you still felt perfect under his hands when he was holding you at night, still looked like a goddess every time he got to admire your naked body.

But even though he wouldn’t have cared either way if you gained some weight or looked any different, his body still bothered him.

You rested your head on his shoulder, and Joel fixed his attention to the wind-blown tree crowns in the distance.

Maybe he should start exercising.

Joel never liked the idea of waking up early and running down the streets in a sweat-soaked t-shirt, or going to the gym where everyone seems to stare and judge you, but it was never necessary.

With how much traveling, heavy-lifting and working he had to do, he never concerned himself with the way he looked. Hell, these things are the last on your mind when you’re fighting for your life in this god-forsaken world. But here, in Jackson, it was different. Life was good, and you were happy. And as stupid as it sounded for him, Joel wanted to look good for you.

Maybe he should ask Maria to assign him to extra patrols. He already volunteered for the morning ones, but perhaps…

“You’re quiet.”

Joel didn’t realize you stopped telling your story. He pressed his lips together and his hand on your thigh stilled.

“Sorry.”

“No need for that,” you reassured him quickly. Then you cupped his cheeks and lifted his head gently. “I don’t mean ‘now’, though, I mean… lately, in general.” Your eyes were flickering across his face, like you were hoping to read the answer from his features. “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

No. Hell no. It was bad enough that Joel himself was aware of his issue, he didn’t want to make it even more noticeable by pointing it out to you.

Which reminded him – he moved his torso away from you only a few millimeters.

“No, babygirl,” he answered. He brushed some hair behind your ear, smiling softly even though inside he despised himself for lying to you. “Everythin’s fine.”

You didn’t seem convinced and still were studying his face with concern. Joel resumed petting your thigh, wanting to put you at ease. He could worry about himself, but he didn’t need to concern you with his problems, too.

“I promise,” he added. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

That look in your eyes didn’t disappear, but you hummed and dropped your hands. It didn’t take a genius to know you didn’t believe him.

“If you say so,” you answered at last, and then covered his hand on your leg with your own. “But remember you can talk to me whenever you want. About anything.”

Jesus, your kindness was only confirming his concerns if he was the right person for you. Joel shook his head with a crooked smile.

“You’re gettin’ sappy.”

“It’s because I’m worried,” you shot back without skipping a beat, swatting at his chest with the back of your hand. “And you’re not making it any easier.”

“There’s nothin’ for you to worry about,” he repeated, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. But he failed.

You pressed your lips together and then made a move to get up from his lap without a word. Joel held onto you delicately, not letting you stand up.

“Wait, darlin’,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “Didn’t mean to say it that way. I just… feel tired. Sorry.”

Your eyes softened when you took in the regret and weariness on his face. Joel felt your fingertips on his jaw, but before you could question him further, Tommy returned from the inside of the house with a grin.

“Age is a heavy burden, eh, ol’ dog?” he teased, apparently having heard the last bit of their conversation. The younger Miller placed three bottles of beer on the table, and winked at you. “That’s just how it is for us now. Enjoy your youth while you still can, punk.”

Joel felt a sharp jab in his ribs, not unlike being stabbed. He couldn’t find it in himself to look at his brother, less alone laugh at his teasing.

Of course Tommy didn’t mean anything bad by it, but his words were just a bitter reminder of the ever-present pit of Joel’s stomach.

The weight of you on his lap suddenly felt a lot lighter, and he himself felt so, so very heavy and tired.

Old.

Joel could feel your eyes boring into his face, but a second later you turned to Tommy, taking the burden of filling the uncomfortable silence.

“It’s already started for me. Sometimes I feel like my bones want to kill me prematurely.”

“M’sure Joel won’t let that happen. He’d fight your skeleton if you said it’s botherin’ you.”

You snorted and shook your head, but your smile faltered when you turned to Joel again. He almost broke down right then and there from the guilt and tightness in his chest.

And the dark feeling inside him just grew when your eyes stayed sad and concerned for the rest of the day.

*****

It had to end.

Joel could no longer pretend everything was alright like he wasn’t dying on the inside every time you did as much as hold his hand. He felt horrible about lying, avoiding spending time together and denying you affection he knew you so loved receiving.

If he was being honest with himself, he wanted this affection, too. Undisturbed with self-doubts and guilt.

He fucking craved it.

Those last few weeks, his evenings were mostly spent away from you and the warmth of your shared home. The nights, on the other hand, when he would sneak in and quietly lay down next to you (but just a little further away), became full of intrusive thoughts and wallowing in self-loathing.

No matter what excuse he came up with, you were persistent in holding and being close to him during the night, and Joel discovered that the only way to prevent you from doing it was to come to bed after you’ve already fallen asleep.

But it was a damn torture.

The worst part was when he was coming home to the sight of you lying amongst the tangled sheets and blankets in his bed. No matter if you were drooling or a pillow has imprinted itself on your cheek, every time this sight made Joel weak in the knees. You looked like a gorgeous, priceless painting, and it pained him to disrupt your rest with his arrival.

He tried to volunteer for evening patrols, because then he’d have a real reason to come home late, but not only Maria didn’t want to pair him with anyone during those hours – she also suspended him from all patrols whatsoever. Joel was understandably furious, but the damn woman threatened to tell Tommy about it if he kept being ‘a stubborn pain in her ass’. She sent him back home, murmuring something about spending more time with you, which he tried to pretend he hadn’t heard.

Joel sighed, sitting up on the edge of the bed and hiding his face in his hand.

If Maria of all people could see that there were some problems in your and Joel’s relationship, then you had to notice, too.

Christ, he was the worst.

Joel didn’t want to push you away, of course not. He wanted to stay with you more than anything, but that desire did nothing to diminish the guilt suffocating him. For some time, he felt like the luckiest man alive, having the privilege to call you his and every day come home to you. But now with all those little things he started to notice, he felt like a fraud.

It wasn’t even about him not deserving you anymore – it was that you didn’t deserve this fucking treatment he was giving you these past few weeks.

Fuck, he had to tell you the truth. About the patrols, sneaking out, distancing himself, all of it. He couldn’t bear lying to you a day longer.

Joel stood up and pulled his sweaty t-shirt over his head. He wrinkled his nose at the smell and patted himself under his armpits and on the back, then reached for a clean one.

He’ll figure it out. He just needed some time to come up with a way to–

“Morning, handsome.”

Joel flinched and turned around quickly, not having realized you were awake, but whatever excuse he had in mind, it fell dead on his lips.

You stretched with a groan, reaching one arm high above your head and rubbing your eyes with the other hand. A sleepy smile danced on your lips when you looked back at him with sparkles in your slightly puffy eyes, and Joel didn’t have any other word to describe you than ‘ethereal’.

“What are you doing?” you asked groggily, relaxing against the pillow and looking him up and down.

“Uhmm…” he hesitated, clutching the t-shirt that was in need of washing close to his chest. His gaze was drawn to the window. “Goin’ out, actually. I’ve got some work…”

“No, you don’t,” you interrupted him and swung off the covers from his side of the bed. “Get back here.”

Joel looked at you with surprise.

“What?”

“You heard me, Miller. Get your ass back on the bed.”

He crumpled the shirt in his hands, hesitating, but his eyes softened as soon as he looked back at you and your raised eyebrows – like you were challenging him to just try and refuse you.

But how could he, when you looked so pretty lying in his bed and demanding to have him close to you? How could he ever deny you anything?

With a defeated sigh, Joel started putting the t-shirt back on, but the sound of you humming in protest stopped him. Your face was grumpy when he glanced up.

“Nah. No shirt.” You extended your hand in his direction, making a grabbing motion. “Come here.”

Joel didn’t move. “Why?”

You rolled your eyes and dramatically flopped down onto the pillows, looking up at him with an adorable pout.

“Because it’s been a long time since I got a chance to admire my handsome, sexy man,” you answered with sincerity, and then grinned. “Now come here. If you ditch your shirt, I’ll consider ditching mine.”

He still didn’t move. You were patient, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to do anything, you sent him a small, sweet smile. “If you get cold again, I promise to do something about it, love.”

Joel physically felt his heart softening at your words and at the sight of you.

With a silent sigh – and only a split second of hesitation – he took off the t-shirt and quickly laid down on his back next to you. He felt a bile rise in his throat, though he had no idea why, and it became almost choking when you shifted closer to him, putting one hand on his chest.

“You’ve deprived me of this beautiful view for too long,” you whispered, kissing the place below his collarbone, and then going up to the base of his neck. “I missed seeing you like this.”

“There’s nothin’ to miss,” Joel muttered, not moving a single muscle. He had his hands entwined on his stomach and to look in your direction was the biggest effort anyone could demand from him now. “We sleep next to each other every night, sweetheart.”

“You know what I mean,” you breathed into his neck, leaving love bites wherever your lips strayed. “You’re going out so early these days. And you work late.”

“Patrols,” Joel grunted with gritted teeth, his muscles tense and breathing ragged as your warm palm caressed his waist. “Sorry.”

“You work too hard, love.” You sat up and swung one of your legs over his lap. Joel actually shivered when you took his hands in your own and placed them on your hips. “Let me help you relax.”

Oh, fuck.

Jesus fucking Christ, Joel was sure he was going to drop dead at any second now.

“Darlin’…” he began, but you made a noise in your throat and leaned in to kiss him deeply, pressing your body to his. Joel loved when you initiated those moments between you two, and you looked so fucking hot sitting on top of him – but for the life of him, he could not relax.

“It hits me every once in a while how lucky I am to have you,” you whispered in such a sweet, adoring voice, like you didn’t hear him. You pressed your lips against his stubble again, igniting every inch of his skin with your touch. “Let me enjoy you. I love you so much, you know that?”

“I…”

I love you, too.

Lord, he loved you so much. Why was it so hard to return your affections, then? Why did he feel like the biggest crook by letting you love him?

Joel let out a shuddering sigh he didn’t know he was holding when you pressed your lips to the edge of his jaw, before capturing his mouth in a kiss. It was sweet, but heated at the same time and, without even thinking about it, he found himself wrapping his strong arms around you, bringing you closer to his chest. You smiled against his lips and murmured something he didn’t quite catch.

A groan escaped him when you bit his lower lip lightly, your soft palm going down, from his chest, to his stomach, down…

He couldn’t do it.

Joel abruptly rose to the sitting position and grabbed your wrist, his eyes sad and painful.

“I’m sorry, baby” he said with furrowed brows, gently setting you aside and off his lap, before standing up quickly. “I’m so sorry, babygirl, I love you, I promise, but I can’t… I don’t feel good today. I’m sorry.”

“Joel…” you started, but he shook his head, putting his t-shirt back on and turning away from you not to let you see the absolute wrecked expression on his face and wetness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he kept saying, feeling like he’s about to throw up from the nerves and the burning shame. He cursed himself internally, wanting to turn around, to take your face in his hands and kiss you deeply, but he… he... “I’m so…”

All strength left him in a blink of an eye and suddenly he slumped on the bed, hiding his face in his hands. Joel desperately tried to get a grip on himself, but his chest felt so tight, and all the worry, all the guilt and fear, and self-loathing came crashing down on him all at once.

“M’sorry, darlin’,” he whispered hoarsely, his lips trembling and that damn muscle in his cheek pulsing when he felt the mattress dipping and your tentative touch on his face.

“No, no, baby, it’s alright,” you started saying quietly, trying to take his cheeks in your hands, but he didn’t let you. “Oh, Joel… Come here.”

You gently pulled him into your arms, guiding his head to rest in the crook of your neck. Joel hid his face in your skin, realizing with dread that his own shoulders were shaking.

For God’s sake, he needed to stop, he needed to put himself together and not show any weakness–

But it was you. It was your warm embrace and your loving hands brushing his hair, and your quiet whispers while you held him. It was your kindness and understanding, and stubbornness coming from love. You weren’t someone he had to hide from.

So he let you in. He let you hold him.

“Joel, please. Talk to me,” you spoke up after some time, and though your tone was soft, it somehow sounded too loud in the silence of the room. “I need to know what’s going on with you, you’re worrying me.”

“Nothin’ is goin’ on,” he answered out of habit, not even moving a muscle. “I just… fuck, sorry.”

“Stop apologizing and talk to me.” Joel pursed his lips, while you massaged his back gently. “Whatever it is, we’re gonna get through it together, okay? It’s gonna be okay, love, I promise.”

He planned on telling you. He wanted to tell you and get it off his chest, but… he wasn’t ready. Not now. Not when he broke down in front of you, for fuck’s sake.

But you deserved to know. If not to help him, then at least to make you aware of what you’ve gotten yourself into. It wasn’t fair to keep you in the dark and at arm’s length because of his absurd fears.

He wetted his lips and inhaled softly, but no words came out.

You gently lifted his head and Joel immediately squeezed his eyes shut, knowing there was no way he’d be able to say anything if he looked at you.

“You can tell me, baby,” you whispered sadly, touching the side of his face. “Anything. I promise everything will be alright.”

Joel was silent for a couple of moments, before he swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm down his pounding heart.

“I don’t have any extra work,” he started very quietly, so his voice wouldn’t break. “I was lyin’ to you, and I… I’m so sorry about that. I don’t get sent on any patrols now, actually…”

He shook his head and sighed heavily, faltering. He knew that wasn’t the problem, and although lying to you was one of the things he was guilty of, it wasn’t what started all of it. And you must’ve known it, too, because you kept looking at him, not saying anything.

“The thin’ is, I… God dammit,” he murmured, turning his head away from you and hiding his face in his hands, still keeping his eyes closed. “I can’t… I don’t– I have a problem with myself,” he finally blurted out, not even caring now if you understood his muffled words. “I keep…”

Fuck, man, just say it.

“I’m… I’m not as fit as I used to be,” he murmured, not moving an inch in fear that you’ll spot the wetness on his eyelashes. “I don’t want to do you harm, darlin’, keepin’ you from… Jesus, I don’t know. From livin’ your life, happily and to the fullest.”

“Joel…” You whispered with pain in your voice. “Is this what it is about?”

Joel shook his head, letting out a shuddering breath, still as quietly as he could.

“I’m old,” he said with tiredness he didn’t know he had in himself. “And you… You’re so pretty and young, I…” He lowered his forehead onto his hand, rubbing his temple. “I would like nothin’ more than to spend the rest of my life with you, darlin’. But I’m afraid I’m not… not good for you. You could do so much better–”

“Hey. Hey, none of that.” You forced his hands away from his face by cradling it in your own palms. “There’s no one else I’d rather share my days with.”

Joel just shut his eyes tighter, trying to contain the tears that started to gather in them.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. “But in a couple of years I’ll be… God, I’ll be fuckin’ sixty, and you–”

“Do you really think I care about that?” you asked softly, brushing your thumbs under his eyes, but he shook his head, like you didn’t understand. “Joel, I love you more than anything in this world. And I know you love me.” He heard the faintest smile in your voice, and it made him feel so, so terrible with himself – that you were trying to make him feel better when you shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have been another one of your worries… “So where’s the problem? I want to be with you. Only you.”

Joel pressed his lips together and before he could stop himself, he draped his arms over his lap, like he was trying to hide the evidence of his insecurities from you, even though his torso was already covered by the t-shirt.

“You’re young and beautiful,” he repeated, still unable to find strength in himself to look you in the eye. “And I’m anythin’ but. I just don’t wanna…”

Joel didn’t know what else to say.

He didn’t want you to leave. He didn’t want to spend another night apart from you. He didn’t want to push you away.

“Just don’t want you to be unhappy,” he finally murmured.

You let out something between a short chuckle and a stifled sob, and your fingers found Joel’s, still wrapped around his stomach.

“Do I look unhappy to you?” you asked, almost in disbelief. Joel finally willed himself to glance at you, if only to see for himself – which turned out to be a mistake. Your eyes were sad and teary, but not full of hurt or distaste like he feared, and you still had this faint smile on your face. He quickly turned his head away and you must’ve realized how you looked because your hold on his fingers tightened slightly. “Not right now. In general, did I ever do something to make you think I’m not happy with you?”

“No,” he answered quietly, not even having to think about it. “But it doesn’t…”

“I told you before, how can I even look at anyone else when I have you?” you spoke up when he faltered. “You’re beautiful to me, Joel, even if you don’t believe me right now. You’re amazing and kind, you’re fucking hot, and yeah, maybe you’re stubborn at times, but I love you so much, and every day I find another reason to fall for you all over again.”

Joel met your eyes again, looking for any hesitation or deceit – but he didn’t find any. As always, you were sincere in everything you said.

He realized, with another wave of tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, how much he missed your affection that he alone deprived himself from. How much he longed for this intimacy that once came so easily to him.

“M’sorry,” he muttered at last, lifting his hand to your face and trying to ignore those damn tears spilling from behind his eyelids. “Never doubted you, babygirl, but I just didn’t know how… how to tell you.”

“It’s okay, Joel,” you nuzzled your cheek into his palm, planting a kiss on the inside of his hand. “It’s alright, c’mon here.”

Not letting go of his hand, you tugged him gently and leaned back on the pillows. With great effort he refrained from fighting you, and instead let you pull him down, laying his head on your chest.

And in an instant, everything was alright again. The moment Joel heard your heartbeat under his ear and felt your gentle hands on the nape of his neck and his back… it was like coming home. This feeling of warmth spreading across his limbs made him feel safe for the first time in weeks.

It was so long since he fully let you hold him.

Maybe that’s what he’s been missing.

“I adore you, Joel Miller,” you whispered into the top of his head, holding him close to your heart. “All of you, and just the way you are.”

Joel couldn’t help it – a small smile crept onto his lips.

“Called it,” he murmured. “You’re gettin’ sappy.”

You snorted and kissed his hairline. “I think you need it, handsome.”

“Maybe I do,” he conceded, not moving his head from your chest, and sighed tiredly. “Dammit, missed holdin’ you like this, babygirl. M’so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you countered, but he continued.

“I just didn’t know how to talk about it… How to tell you that I feel bad. About… the way I look.”

Joel felt your hands on his cheeks, and although he really didn’t want to move from the position he was in, he let you lift his head.

“I love the way you look,” you said quietly, in a tone that made Joel’s old heart flutter. “And our bodies change, there’s nothing wrong with that. If anything, I’m really happy that both of us can enjoy this kind of life.” You leaned in and nudged Joel’s nose with yours, closing your eyes. “Every change of our bodies is a sign that we’re finally safe after all we’ve been through.

“But you look gorgeous as ever, sweet girl.”

“M’glad to hear it, Mr Miller,” you teased, but then your smile turned wistful. “But you know, I was insecure about my looks, too, not sure if you noticed. My stomach and thighs, and,” you rolled your eyes, “well, my butt.”

Normally Joel would throw a playful remark, or try to make you giggle, but this time he stayed silent. He just listened to your soft voice, drinking in your features.

“It worried me for some time. But you still put your hand on my leg when I was sitting with you, and you never shied away from telling and showing me,” you stressed this word, a teasing note in your tone, “how much you like my body.”

“‘Course I do,” he murmured quietly, lifting himself on his elbows and leaning over you despite your huffs and efforts to keep him in place.

“So I thought that maybe you didn’t care about this extra weight, or even didn’t–”

The rest of your words were swallowed by Joel’s lips when he kissed you deeply and hungrily. So many strong emotions were swirling inside his chest, he didn’t know anymore what to do with himself. At first you tried to continue your train of thought, but soon gave up, erupting into giggles when Joel latched his lips onto your neck and wrapped his arms around you in an attempt to bring you in even closer.

“I didn’t care,” he was whispering into your skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses in his wake. “I don’t.”

“Then you see– Joel, stop it!” You squealed when he carried on with his assault, not giving you a second to gather your thoughts.

“M’so lucky to have you,” he whispered while peppering your face in soft kisses. “Thank you, babygirl.”

You finally managed to free your arms, and you cupped his face in your hands with a huge grin that Joel decided he wanted to see every day. Another adorable giggle escaped you when he snuggled his scratchy cheek into your palm.

“I know it will take time,” you said gently, but firmly, looking deep into his eyes. “But no matter how long it’ll take, I will make you understand how incredibly attracted I am to you.” Joel hung his head low to hide a bashful snigger, and your smile grew. “Understand?”

“Yeah, yeah. Understood, ma’am.”

“Good.” You pulled him closer to plant a slow kiss on his lips, and asked seductively: “I can start right now, if you’d want to. I don’t want my handsome man to feel insecure about any part of him.”

God, he loved you so much.

Joel hid his face in the crook of your neck again, his heart squeezing with adoration and disbelief at how it came that he’d been blessed with someone like you.

“Y’know what, sweetheart? I think it’d do me good.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x y/n #joel tlou #i will actually be taking a break because i have uni stuff to do which i REALLY neglected on behalf of this fic #i really got carried away with this one and the final scene took me so long to write omg #i really tried to approach this topic with respect and understanding and i very much hope it's alright #soft joel miller #joel miller fluff #the last of us fic

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number1mingyustan · 9 months

Text

Today, Tomorrow, and Forever ☾ ♡

husband!seungchol x fem!reader, newlyweds au

Warnings: cursing, explicit smut, unprotected sex (missionary), soft sex, oral (f.), multiple orgasms, body worship, creampie, soft!dom cheol, they are so in love

Summary: You mean everything to him and more

Word Count: 2.3k

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(a/n: school started again and i’ve been so inactive i’m sorry y’all 💔)

You feel like a teenager again. The two of you are giggly and stumbling all over yourselves, drunk off of your love and the little bit of champagne you shared earlier.

Seungchol pushes the elevator button once for the sixth floor, and when it doesn’t immediately light up he starts aggressively pressing it over and over again. You giggle, placing your hand on top of his.

“Calm down baby… there’s no need to rush,” You grin.

“I finally got you all to myself… don’t wanna waste another moment.” He says.

The elevator door is about to close and Seungchol is already plotting all the things he’s gonna do to you when you get upstairs. Matter of fact, what he’s planning to do to you right here in the elevator even.

But before he can act on any of his desires, a hand stops the elevator from closing and a woman steps inside. She’s a little breathless, making it obvious she was in a bit of a rush to get here.

Seungchol has to hold himself back from groaning out loud. He finally got a moment alone with you and it’s been ruined again.

You nudge him when you notice the way he’s blatantly rolling his eyes.

“Thank you, I thought I wasn’t going to make it,” The woman says as she fully steps into the elevator.

“Mhm. What floor?” Seungchol asks with the least bit of interest in his voice.

You nudge him again and he sighs.

“The fifth please,” the woman says with a smile. “And might I just say…. you are gorgeous. Congratulations to the two of you I’m assuming.”

She takes notice of your attire.

Seungchol is holding the bottom of your white dress with the utmost care so it doesn’t drag.

It’s your wedding day, well wedding night really now. It’s the whole reason Seungchol has been so antsy and handsy.

As much as he loves all your family and friends, the reception was meant to be over hours ago. He didn’t want it to end, considering it was still your special day, but he wanted some alone time with his beautiful wife.

Conversation started to get exhausting, hearing the constant congratulations and saying ‘thank you’ and smiling for hours on end.

He truly couldn’t have been happier, but he wanted to spend some time with his beautiful wife.

Nonetheless, today was the best day of your entire life. You can’t help but look down at the gorgeous ring decorating your finger.

“Oh! Thank you,” you smile. “Yeah… it’s our big day.”

“I wish the two of you the best.” She smiles.

“Thank you,” Seunchol smiles. “We appreciate it.”

She gives another genuine smile. “I know you probably know this, but marriage isn’t easy by any means. But just know that no matter what happens, she’s always right.” The woman jokes.

Seungchol chuckles and looks at you with a genuine look in his eyes. “I didn’t have to marry her to know that.”

The woman laughs and the elevator sings when it reaches the fifth floor. “Well this is my stop. It was nice meeting you too and I wish you the best.”

“Thank you,” you smile.

She steps out and waves before the doors shut again.

“She was sweet,” You comment.

“Mhm,” He pulls your body closer to his protectively. “But now it’s just you and me for the rest of the night.”

He starts leaving kisses along your neck. But before it can escalate, the elevator reaches the sixth floor and the door opens in front of you.

He holds the key in his pocket and begins pulling you out the elevator and toward your room for the night. He doesn’t let your dress touch the ground, even as he scrambles for the key and opens the door.

When he does, your eyes go wide at the sight before you.

The hotel room is incredible. It’s spacious and the bed is huge, decorated with rose petals and a bottle of champagne. The pillows are heart shaped and there are balloons touching the ceiling.

“Do you like it?” Seungchol asks.

You turn back at him with glossy eyes. “I love it. I can’t believe you did all this.”

“You put so much into planning the wedding… I figured I could do a little special something for you.”

You’re quick you wrap your arms around him. He nearly drops the train of your dress with how much force you use to embrace him. He holds you in his arms, rubbing your back lightly.

“I know I’ve said it a million times… but you look so beautiful.”

The love in his eyes is pure and genuine. There’s a slight glimmer every time he stares at you and he couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to.

You don't hesitate to place your lips on his. It's a sweet kiss but it escalates quickly. He holds you by the waist gently as he kisses you back. Your lips mold together perfectly as he holds you close to him.

The kiss grows passionate quickly, and he's soon lifting you up and placing you on the large bed gently. He kneels down in front of you and helps you to take off your heels. He rubs your feet soothingly, allowing his head to disappear under your dress momentarily to leave loving kisses along your legs.

He places your shoes upright on the floor before standing to his feet and leaning over to capture your lips in another kiss. Your hands undo the buttons of his tux and the white button up he has on underneath.

He stands shirtless in front of you with a grin plastered on his face. "You're so beautiful," he mumbles. He plants a kiss on your shoulder before his hands find their way to the zipper on the back of your dress. He slides it down with care and helps you step out of the dress.

He takes your wedding dress and hangs it up before returning to you on the bed. He pushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear softly. "Can I take this down?" he asks.

You look up at him with soft eyes and nod.

Carefully, he takes out all the pins holding up your hair and allows it to fall down onto your shoulders. His hand cups your cheek and he kisses you again.

He crawls on top of you without breaking the kiss. He plants his body between your thighs and runs his fingers along your exposed skin.

"Wait! I bought a new set just for tonight!" You break the kiss and sit up on the bed quickly.

He pushes you back down onto the bed gently. "Baby don't worry about it. Save it for this weekend when we go on honeymoon. Don't wanna waste another minute."

Singlehandedly, he removes his belt and tosses it onto the floor before doing the same with his pants. He begins kissing down your neck, trailing down to your collarbone and the curve of your breasts. His hand undoes the back of your bra before he tosses it and continues trailing down your body with kisses.

"Cheol..." you whine when his puckered lips reach the hem of your panties.

"Don't tell me you're being impatient now... you were ready to do an outfit change a few minutes ago," he chuckles.

"That's only because I suddenly remembered. It's what most couples do on their wedding night, no?"

He grins. "When have we ever been like most couples?" He slides your panties down and tosses them before he spreads your legs and dips his head between your thighs.

He doesn't warn you before attaching his lips to your clit and sucking on the sensitive bud. You hiss and arch your back off the bed at the sudden jolt of pleasure pulsing through your body. Your hands fly to his hair, gripping his strands tightly.

He licks a stripe between your folds before reattaching his lips to your clit and sucking. You squirm beneath him, but he doesn't mind. It actually boosts his ego, knowing he can make you squirm so much and so quickly.

"Shit," you breathe out as you tug at his hair.

He grins when he feels your arousal starting to coat his face. He's determined to make his new wife feel good and he's relentless in his movements. His tongue is everywhere, darting inside of you and latching along your clit.

You're still writhing beneath him, struggling as he pleasures you to the max.

Your husband has always been a giver.

"Cheol-ah! I'm close," you warn him.

You can feel him grin against your skin. He wraps his arms around you thighs and pins your body down. His tongue is moving quickly, heart set on making you cum on his tongue.

You're whining above him, unable to stay still even as he holds you in place. He can't help but go faster, nose nudging against your clit as his tongue laps your folds, moaning against your skin and sending vibrations coursing through your sensitive body. He's bringing you closer to the euphoric feeling he's wanted to give you since the words "I do" slipped out of your mouth earlier today.

Your back is arching off the bed when you cum and your hands press his head down against your cunt. You're grinding against his face, hips pushing against him and nearly suffocating him.

Not that he minds. If he ever were to die, he could only hope it was between your thighs like this.

Your body is completely overcome with pleasure. He doesn't stop, simply tilting his head up to watch the way your body trembles and how your chest rises and falls quickly as you come back into your senses.

He crawls back up on top of you, pushing your messy hair out of your face. His face is just a few inches away from yours, you can still the the glisten on his lips from your arousal.

"You're always so good at that.... I don't know how I got so lucky," you breathe out.

He grins. "I'm the lucky one baby."

"Cheol... want you inside of me," you look up a him with lust in your eyes, nudging your nose against his.

He's quick to pull his underwear off and toss them onto the floor. The two of you are tangled beneath the sheets in a matter of seconds. His body hovers over yours once again. He strokes his length slowly, eyes admiring and scanning over your body.

He tip teases your folds before he pushes in to fulfill your needs. He tried going in slow, but you were so wet that his length slipped all the way into you. You both breathe out at the sudden feeling.

Your walls are hot and wet and sucking him in. He holds himself up on his hands with his mouth hanging agape. It feels like your first time with him all over again.

It may be your first time together as husband and wife, but it feels foreign despite the many times you've done this. The intimacy is on an entirely new level. There is so much love and adoration radiating from both your bodies, it makes your heart feel full.

"Good?" he asks.

You nod. "Yeah."

He kisses your cheek before allowing his head to fall into the crook of your neck. He draws his hips back before thrusting back into you. His thrusts re slow, but deep. He pushes into you with full force, filling your cunt every time he moves.

He's in no rush, he simply wants to make you feel good. You feel hims groaning and moaning against your collarbone each time he bottoms out.

Your wrap your legs around his torso, pulling him closer and forcing his length deeper inside of you. Your head sinks into the pillow and your eyes fall shut.

"Ah-shit," you breathe out.

The bed shifts beneath you every time he fills you up. "Feel so good Angel," he coos. "My pretty wife."

You can only moan out in response. It feels so fucking good.

"You're taking me so well baby... really were made for me," he moans.

He begins sucking on your neck, leaving dark hickies along your skin. You really are his, his everything. His wife, wearing his ring while marked up with his love bites.

He never thought he'd see this day. He's been thinking about it since the day he met you and now he can't believe you're really his for the rest of eternity.

His love for you is pure and unlike anything you've ever experienced before. He understands you and is willing to do anything to ensure your happiness.

"I'm cumming... fuck," you warn him.

He groans against your skin, indicating that is orgasm is approaching too. He thrusts deep inside of you a few more times before you both fall apart. You cum at the same time, moaning out in unison as he fills you up and you experience another euphoric high.

He pulls out, licking his lips as he sees his cum drip out of you, mixing with your own arousal. He rolls onto the bed next to you, laying on his side so he can still look at you. His fingers move your hair out of your face again, this time playing with the strands gently.

"I love you so much," he says.

You breathe heavily. "I love you more."

"Impossible," he says before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

He pulls you closer to him, not caring how sweaty you are or how messy your hair is now. He holds you in his arms, fingers tracing over your skin lovingly.

He'll clean you up later, for sure. But right now, he just wants to lay in bed and hold his pretty wife for a little bit longer.

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#seventeen smut #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen drabbles #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen scoups #scoups #scoups smut #choi seungcheol #seungcheol smut #seungcheol x reader #kpop

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 9 months

Text

Pairing : Bangchan x F!Reader TW : unexpected pregnancy ; Chan is unknowingly (to him) an asshole ; relationship doubts ; a surprise visit from ATEEZ's Hongjoong ; a lot of angst ; and a nice little nana cliffhanger ; Word Count : 4.4k Request : Yes! By a lot of people! A/N : Back to the good stuff!! Angsty Dad Bangchan coming up!! Lets go!!!

A family of your own… It was all you had ever wanted, and surprisingly enough, Chan was fully onboard, sharing that he had similar dreams and that he wanted nothing more than to make those dreams come true with you.

That’s why, when your period didn’t come at all for two months straight, you were more than happy, and maybe a little bit nervous, to run to the nearest corner store and grab a pack-or three-of pregnancy tests just to see if that gut feeling you had was right.

It’s amazing how the validation of two pink lines can completely change the way a person feels. One second you’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub hoping to see those lines, and then you watch them appear as if like magic, and it’s like your entire world and your whole view of it changes, it becomes brighter, clearer, and you get this warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of your stomach that can only be described as the feeling of spring, everything in full bloom and the sun beating down and everything is just… Beautiful.

You were too excited, you couldn’t possibly wait for Chan to get home, so you sent him a quick text. “Call me as soon as you’re able to. I love you!” You sent it, and in less than a second your phone was vibrating atop the toilet seat. “What’s wrong? You’re alright?” He asked quickly, and you realized only now that your text was probably slightly worrisome, so you took a moment to calm him, to let him know that you were safe and that you were more than alright.

“I haven’t gotten my period in two months… You know that…” You started off, and he hummed softly to let you know that he was listening and following along. “I finally went down to the store and got myself some tests…” You continued, and you heard the lack of breathing from his end, he was waiting for you to say it, to say something. “Babe… I’m pregnant!” You practically squealed, and you heard a loud thump from his end and a muffled groaning and then someone else in the background asking if he was alright.

“You shoulda told me to stand up before you told me that! You’re serious!? I’m gonna be a dad?! Are you sure?!” The excitement that you felt was shared, you could hear it in his voice, and you could only laugh at how giddy he actually sounded. “Do you want me to come home? I can leave right now! Baby, I’m so happy! How am I supposed to keep working? I wanna come home!”

He was rambling, and it was honestly so cute that you didn’t have the heart to stop him. If there was anyone in the world that you knew would make an amazing father, it was him. You weren’t even fully pregnant yet and he already wanted to be home with you, you knew that you had someone that you could depend on throughout your pregnancy, someone that would be there with you, for you, through it all. “S’alright, babe. You don’t have to rush home now, it’s not like I’m in labor or anything. I just couldn’t wait to tell you. You can get back to work now, sorry for interrupting.”

He gasped loudly, a jumbled mess of sounds coming incoherently from his mouth before he spoke an actual sentence. “You expect me to be able to get back to work after hearing that?! Baby, I wanna come home and be with you! I wanna celebrate! The album can wait, and I know that Jisung and Bin can take care of what I have left for the day anyway. I’m comin’ home now.”

The excitement was sky high for the first two months, he’d call off work completely just to be with you for doctors appointments, he’d hold those little ultrasound images close to him as if they were the most precious pictures on the face of the earth right now. He was attached to you, and you truthfully didn’t mind it, especially since those two months had given you the brunt of all of your symptoms. He was right there with you though, telling you how amazing you were, how good you were doing, how happy he was that you were carrying his child and how he couldn’t wait to meet his little jellybean.

By the third month, it seemed like the novelty wore off, although not completely, not yet at least. He became a little distant, not entirely, but he certainly wasn’t clinging onto you as he had been before. You simply assumed that he was just keeping you in mind since you were constantly sweating, your body temperature felt like you had been sitting in the summer sun for hours, although the doc said that was quite normal actually. Maybe he just thought that you didn’t want him constantly hanging on to you as he had been, and he wouldn’t be entirely wrong in thinking that.

It wasn’t until the fourth month when you realized just how distant he had truly become. It almost seemed like he had just gotten bored of it, his initial reaction seeming more and more like a dream with each passing day. He’d give you a kiss goodbye in the morning, but the lingering touches that used to drift along your stomach were long gone, it was almost as if the bigger you got, the more he just… didn’t care. That hurt, more than you’d like to admit.

Even still, you tried to make excuses for him. He had been working so hard on the album, and now that it was finally announced to the public, he was more stressed than ever. That had you questioning though whether he truly thought of what it would be like to have a child. There was a lot of responsibility, and while you knew that you could do it yourself if needed, you didn’t want to, not when the two of you both discussed this and in the beginning, he made it seem like this was what he wanted as well.

Although Chan was acting the way he was, you were still beyond joyful, especially now that the most important scan was coming up. You’d finally be able to find out the gender of your little jellybean, and from day one, since he had found out, he said that this appointment was the one he was most excited for as well. There was something so magical about finding out the gender of the tiny little human that you were growing inside of you, and you wanted Chan to be there to share in the magic with you.

“You’re already ready, that’s great!” You chimed as you stepped out of the bedroom, dressed and ready to head out, and you saw Chan standing in the kitchen fully dressed as well sipping on a cup of coffee as he scrolled through his phone. He glanced up at you, his eyebrow arching in confusion as he looked you over, and you hoped, you silently prayed that he was just joking with you right now. “The doctors appointment is today… It’s the gender scan… I told you that.”

You tried to keep your voice as light as possible, but the slight tremor was heard by you, and you were sure that it was heard by him as well. “Ah shit… That’s today? Why would you schedule it for today? You know we have an interview today.” He was… scolding you… As if it were your fault that the appointment that you had made a month in advance had fallen on the same day of an interview that you hadn’t a single clue was going on. “You’re gonna have to catch a ride there or something, I don’t have the time to drive across town and make it back to the studio in time.”

He was choosing an interview over you… over the baby. It was shocking to say the least, and it felt like his words alone had ripped your heart straight from your chest, but what was worse was the way he was looking at you as if this was somehow all your fault. “Right… Sorry…” You mumbled, not wanting to get into an argument with him right now solely because you didn’t want to smudge your makeup with the tears that you knew he’d cause.

“It’s fine I guess… Just… Think a little more, yeah?” He gave you a meek smile as he walked past you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before rushing to the door. “I’ll probably be a little late coming home today. The guys all want to go out and celebrate the upcoming release so… I’ll probably just stay at the dorms tonight.” It almost seemed like he was doing it on purpose, creating this unimaginably large space between himself and you… Or maybe it was himself and the baby, although you weren’t sure why. What you did know though, was that it wasn’t fair, not to you, and surely not to the baby.

Being with Chan had gave you contact to some other big stars in the business, and most people would assume that you were happy about it solely because of their status, but you saw in people their best attributes, their soft sides, the sides of them that they hid from the cameras, the sides of them that made them more than just idols. One of those people happened to be Hongjoong, who had been the first person to come over and personally congratulate you and Chan when you told him you were pregnant. These past two months he had even become more invested in your pregnancy than Chan was. That’s why he was the first person you called.

“Am I bothering you? You’re not busy… Are you?” Were the first words out of your mouth as soon as he had picked up his phone. You were sitting on the edge of the couch, watching the time tick down, getting closer to your appointment, and you hated riding in a strangers car, it made you feel uncomfortable, and Chan knew that. You hated that he would willingly put you in the position to do something like that.

Hongjoongs soft chuckle came through your speaker, and you could hear the other guys in the background talking, but it seemed to grow distant as if he were going somewhere quieter to talk to you. “You’re never a bother, honey.” He cooed out the pet name, one that Chan had said on multiple occasions that he hated, but old habits die hard, and you knew that Hongjoong meant nothing by it. “What’s up? Are you having another craving? I can get you whatever you need.”

God, you wished it were that simple, but you scoffed, shaking your head as if he could see it. “No… I have a doctors appointment, and I need to get there but… Chan had an interview with the guys today and he needed to be there for it. I just need a ride…” Your voice trembled as you said the words, and for some reason, you felt ashamed having to ask another man for help when your boyfriend, the father of your child, was fully capable of getting you to your appointment and just chose not to.

“Is he gonna meet you there?” He quizzed, but you couldn’t bring yourself to verbally answer his question, at least, not with words, so you let out a dejected sigh that gave him all the answers he needed. “Alright, let me just get my shoes on and I’ll come pick you up. We’ll make it there in time. Do you want me to stay in there with you? We can go get something to eat when it’s done.” He knew that you wouldn’t turn down food, so you agreed to his offer, a smile slowly returning to your face as you finally relaxed against the couch cushions.

“You’re a lifesaver, Joongie. Thank you so much.” You chirped, and you heard him laugh again, the sound of it almost contagious. You weren’t sure what you would have done if he wasn’t able to, but then again, Hongjoong would come help you at the drop of a dime simply because he cared about you. Chan saw it differently, but then again, if it weren’t for Hongjoong, you wouldn’t be making it to your appointment today, so in your eyes, he had no right to be jealous or upset about it.

“A girl!” Hongjoong exclaimed, his eyes brightening as a wide smile spread across his face. Not even Chan had gotten this excited during the last two visits, it was a nice change of pace, and a very welcomed change of atmosphere. “That’s so exciting, honey. I’m so happy!” He continued, grabbing your hand and giving it a light squeeze.

The nurse who had been wiping the gel off your stomach confusedly looked between you and Hongjoong, clearly wondering why Chan wasn’t there, and why this new man seemed more happy about the gender reveal than the actual father would have been, but you didn’t have the time to go into details about how your entire dream seemed to be spiraling, so you focused your attention on Hongjoong entirely. “Are we celebrating at my favorite restaurant?” You teasingly asked, and when his mouth fell open, you were about to backtrack and let him know you were joking, until his head fervently nodded.

“Of course! Where else would I take you to celebrate, huh? My honeys deserve the best!” He looked at the nurse who only seemed more and more confused the more he spoke, but he didn’t seem to mind it, giving her a warm smile. “Is she done? I don’t want her to be hungry… Did you eat this morning?” He glanced down at you and you shook your head which had him looking back up at the nurse for the answer to his first question.

Once the nurse gave you the okay that you were done and printed out the ultrasound pictures, Hongjoong grabbed your purse and helped lead you out of the office, his hand wrapped around your waist almost protectively as you rode down the elevator to get to the first floor. “Thank you for coming with me… It’s so embarrassing to be in there alone sometimes and… Seeing all the other couples kind of makes me sad.” You always felt like you could be so open with him, he was so understanding, and he always listened to everything that you had to say. It was nice to have someone like that in your life, someone unbiased that wouldn’t always take the side of Chan, and while you loved the other guys, they would always lean more towards their leader.

“If you ever need someone to go with you, if Bangchan can’t make it, you can always call me. Remember that, honey. I’m always here for you.” He reassured you, his hand moving from your waist to your lower back as he led you out of the elevator. “You think I can have one of the pictures though? It’s so neat to actually see her, I wanna show all of the guys.” You nodded your head, climbing into the passenger seat and fishing the row of pictures out of your purse to look through them again. “Looks like she has your nose…” Hongjoong mused as he leaned over the console to look at the pictures with you before playfully tapping the tip of your nose. “She’s gonna be adorable, just like you.”

He always gave you a warm feeling, but you attributed that to his friendliness and how kind he was, but now, sitting next to him in the car after sharing such an important moment with him, looking him in the eyes… You didn’t know if that feeling stopped there… And you felt guilty for that. Maybe it was just because you were upset with Chan and your mind was trying to find some other source of happiness… It felt wrong though. “Thanks… Joongie.” You murmured, dropping your gaze down to your lap as you fumbled with the edge of the blouse you were wearing. You couldn’t let your mind continue with those thoughts… It wouldn’t be right… Chan was your boyfriend, and you were sure that Hongjoong was simply being kind to you. That’s all it was…

“You keep ordering more stuff for her when you know she’ll just grow out of it by the second month.” Chan grumbled when he heard the knock on the door, his annoyance with your online baby shopping becoming more and more evident with each package that came in. It’s not like you were spending his money though, you were still working for the time being, at least while you could. “You’re wasting your money.” He continued as you grabbed your phone to see which package could have possibly been delivered today.

The door knocked again, and now you both were confused because, even if it was a package delivery, they would have only knocked once to let you know that the package was delivered and then went about their day. That, and the fact that you hadn’t gotten any notifications or updates that anything you had ordered was out for delivery. “Well it’s not for me, maybe it’s a new piece of equipment for your studio.” You said, refusing to get up off the couch considering the fact that it took you almost 15 minutes to get comfortable now that you were getting bigger.

He rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up off the couch, mumbling something under his breath about not being able to enjoy a day off. “Look, whatever you’re selling, we’re not interes…ted…-” He trailed off as the door was opened and an excited Hongjoong stood there holding a pastel pink bag with even more pink tissue paper sticking out of the top. “What are you doing here?” Chan asked, looking down at the bag and then back up at Hongjoong who was still wearing the biggest and brightest smile, looking past Chan to spot you.

“I came to see my honey.” Hongjoong stated as if it were a known fact that he was going to drop by, but neither you or Chan knew he was coming, but for you, it was a welcome surprise. “Can I come in?” He asked, and before Chan could say no, you were getting up off the couch to go meet him at the door instead. “You’re getting so big… In the most beautiful way, honey.” He cooed, looking you over with heart eyes and pink tinged cheeks.

“Thank you, Joongie…” You whispered, feeling shy under his gaze, but Chans glare had tension filling the air. “Who’s the present for?” You asked, trying to change the subject, and Hongjoong took that as his queue to come inside, going straight past Chan and wrapping his arm around your waist to lead you to the couch.

The door was slammed shut, and Chans presence alone, even if you couldn’t see him standing behind the couch, you could just feel him there. He was hovering, and you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him in waves. “I was at the store and I walked past this outfit, I just thought it would look adorable on little honey pot.” He placed the bag down the floor in front of you and reached out to press his hand against your stomach, chuckling lightly when he felt the baby kick against his palm. “She still hasn’t settled down since you texted me, has she? Don’t worry though, I brought what you said you were craving, maybe that’ll settle her down.”

You heard Chan huff behind you, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth causing you and Hongjoong both to turn around and look at him. “Oh, don’t let me distract you. Just wondering why you’re buying clothes for my daughter and food for my pregnant girlfriend when I’m literally right here.” His tone was sharp when he said it, and while you had understood the hint, it either went right over Hongjoongs head or he just decided to ignore it.

“Well I already said why I bought the outfit.” Hongjoong said casually, leaning back on the couch and draping his arm over your shoulder, glancing over his own to keep his eyes on Chan. “And Y/N sent me a text earlier saying that she was kind of uncomfortable because the baby can't seem to sit still, so I thought that I’d bring her her favorite snack. I don’t see anything wrong with that…” He turned to look at you. “Do you?”

The air felt so thick, you could barely breathe, but truthfully, you didn’t see a problem with Hongjoong helping you out, so you shook your head no. “I really appreciate you coming over and bringing me these things. Thank you, Joong. It means a lot.” You gave him a warm smile, and he leaned in to press a quick peck to your temple.

It was a shock to you, but what was more shocking, what had you practically jumping out of your seat was the sound of Chans hands slapping against the back cushion of the couch. “I need to talk to my girlfriend and you-” He pointed to Hongjoong, not even caring at the moment just how rude the gesture was. “You need to leave.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a demand, and for the first time since Hongjoong had been there, it seemed like he was finally getting the hint.

That didn’t stop him from grabbing your hands and looking at you with his dark, almost black eyes, that looked at you so softly right now, with so much concern. “Are you going to be okay?” He asked, ignoring Chan completely at this point, his thumb brushing over your knuckles to try to keep your attention on him. You quickly nodded your head, and while he didn’t believe it, he couldn’t really do much either. “Text me if you need me, you know I’m always here for you, honey.”

Chan didn’t have to lead him to the door, Hongjoong went there himself, and you really wished that you could have gone with him because now you were the direct target of Chans anger, his eyes like daggers staring right through you. “You wanna tell me why some other guy is buying clothing for my child? Why he’s going out and getting my girlfriends snacks? I’ve been here all fucking day and you haven’t said shit to me! I could have gotten the food for you!”

It was jealousy, that’s all it was, and it was so hypocritically funny that you couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh for fucks sake, Chan. You haven’t spent a fucking dime on her! You don’t give a shit about me or the baby. Don’t pretend to start now just because your ego is bruised.” You snapped back, and you watched as he shook his head, his eyes narrowing even more now.

“Is she even mine?! Why should I spend any of my money on her!? You’ve got Hongjoong out here acting like he’s the one who fucking knocked you up!” You blinked a few times, letting his words fully process in your head. He was not only accusing you of cheating on him, but accusing another guy of fathering his baby. Surely it must be guilt, knowing that you were right, but that didn’t make you any less pissed off.

“Do you ever think he’s acting that way because he feels bad?” You asked, and Chans face scrunched up as he let out a scoff. “No. I’m being serious right now, Christopher.” He was shaking his head, his body already turning to walk away, and that was the icing on the cake, the final straw. “He’s doing what you refuse to do! I never asked him to do that, he just did because you’ve been blowing off doctors appointments, you… you treat her like a mistake and a burden and she’s not even here yet! You don’t even acknowledge the fact that I’m pregnant anymore unless it’s something that you have a problem with! I needed some kind of fucking emotional support while I go through this, and you sure as hell haven’t been supportive at all! He was there when I needed him… When you decided that your job is more important than the child that you created.”

He stopped in the middle of the room, you could see how tense he was, his back muscles stiff under the tight black shirt that he was wearing. “Then why don’t you just go be with him since he’s better than me anyway?” He posed. You could hear how heavily he was breathing, you could see it in the way his shoulders rose and fell quickly. He was furious, although you weren’t sure who with at this point.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll text him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” And maybe it was the heat of the moment making you say it, but deep down, you knew you didn’t mean it. Chan was the father of your daughter, he was the love of your life, and even after months of him blowing you off, the future that you imagined with your daughter still had him in it. You wanted to spend your life with him.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t. So just text him. Just fucking go.” He said flatly, storming off into the shared bedroom and slamming the door behind him. The last thing you wanted to do was go into the bedroom and try to talk to him, you didn’t even want to go in there to get your clothes, so you got up and walked out the front door, running right into Hongjoong who had been standing outside and listening to everything.

Chan watched through the blinds in the bedroom, watching as Hongjoong led you to his car, helping you in before gently closing the door behind you and then climbing in. He watched and he waited for you to climb back out, but then the car started backing up… And then it pulled off. He had just forced you into the arms of the very person that he was terrified would take you away… All because he was jealous, and he had gotten so distracted with work… He had fucked everything up. The future that he had built with you in his dreams, that he imagined and drew out… It was all thrown out the window and he had been the one to throw it.

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fairyofshampgyu · 1 year

Text

Missed you

genre: smut, fluff

Summary: beomgyu sends you a very inappropriate video of himself whilst you’re at work.

Pairing: beomgyu x gn reader (afab tho when it comes to smut)

Warnings: smut, sub! beomgyu, dom! reader, bratty beomgyu, use of vibrator, edging, overstimulation, dacryphilia, beomgyu is a brat

Word count: 2.2k

You made yourself some breakfast, ready to leave for work any second when you feel a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“Wow I’m surprised you’re even awake right now.” You chuckle and turn your head around to look at beomgyu who had his eyes closed as he hugged you, lashes kissing his cheek and fluffy hair all messy with his puffy face from just waking up. Sleepy beomgyu is the cutest.

“Just come back to bed with mee…please. Call in sick or something.” He says in his (extremely attractive) deep morning voice.

“Gyu, you know I want to but I can’t. I have to go to work.”

“Pleaseee. Want to stay in with you.” He opens his eyes now, sulking at you slightly.

“I can’t, baby.”

“Fuck, you look so good in that suit too.” His eyes travel down to your work clothes. And he starts placing soft little kisses on your neck as he still hugged you. You know if he does it any longer you’d give in.

“I can’t. Gotta go now, beomgyu. Bye.” You give him a quick peck on the lips turning to quickly get to the door but he takes your hand, whining at you.

“Excuse me where’s my proper kiss?! And what the fuck is a ‘beomgyu’ I’m literally your baby or your love or beomie, gyu, honey, darling? Where is the love?!” He pouts, crossing his arms at you.

“I’m gonna be late…” You mumble but go back to beomgyu, giving him a ‘proper’ kiss that was more loveable enough for him. “I’m gonna go now. I love you, gyu.”

“Make sure you come back quick!”

The universe was being impossibly cruel to Beomgyu today.

On the one day he has free, where he finally doesn’t have a busy schedule and doesn’t have to go to work, preparing for a comeback or performance, tour, etc, where he just wanted to spend his day with you, you just so happened to not have a free day and having to go to work. Plans ruined.

It didn’t help at all that Beomgyu was so fucking horny right now, mind consumed by not so cute thoughts of you and you weren’t even here and wouldn’t even be back until late. What should he do? Should he just jerk off?

An idea suddenly struck him, a cryptic grin appearing on his face as he thought about it. It’d be so fun to rile you up and see what you’d do when you came home.

He set up his phone and began to fuck himself, pumping his dick up and down and playing with his nipples since he knows you like it, making sure to moan your name and never looking away from the camera. Once he came, he stopped the recording and sent the video to you immediately, chuckling.

You were finally on your well deserved lunch break, grabbing some coffee and heading back to your desk, checking your phone’s notifications.

You had a message from beomgyu:

Beoms🧸🎸: I miss you…☹️

With an attachment but you couldn’t view it since it was your notifications. You smile. You’re guessing it’s probably just a picture of him making an over dramatic sad face since he sends you pictures of himself pretty much every day. You found his silly selfies so endearing.

“Is that your boyfriend? Aw he’s so sweet! Wish my girlfriend would send me messages like that every day. She hasn’t even messaged me at all today. Not even a good morning text.” Your friend Yunjin peeks at your phone and sulks.

You laugh, “He was trying to convince me to not come in today, saying I should call in sick.”

“Honestly you should have listened to him. One more day here and I’m gonna off myself.”

“So true.” You groan, remembering the workload you had to do after this break and knowing you still weren’t even half way through finishing for the day yet.

“Couple of us are going to that cafe across the street for lunch right now. You coming?” Yunjin asks.

“Yeah I’ll be there in a second.”

So she walks out to meet up with your other colleagues.

You click on Beomgyu’s message and seeing the attachment was a video. You wonder what it could be of.

Well, you definitely weren’t expecting that.

Your eyes go wide, the loud volume you’re met with and the video making you jump in your seat; an obscene recording of your boyfriend fucking himself. You cautiously glance around, thanking god everyone had already gone to lunch. Anybody could have seen this! Imagine what would have happened! That’s probably what he wanted anyway, you thought. He can be such a whore sometimes.

You could tell he was just putting up a show for you to make you extra crazy for him from the way he was moaning excessively and loudly over nothing, overdramatising and exaggerating his expressions and whining out your name saying he ‘needs you so bad’ and never losing eye contact with the camera. You can see the stupid smirk on his face after he cums and stops the video.

What a little shit.

You send him a text back.

Y/n: just wait and see what happens when I get back home.

You opened the door to your place immediately, barging into your bedroom where you saw beomgyu sitting on the bed, watching a show.

“You came back earlier.” He states, pausing what he was watching.

You take your blazer off and start unbuttoning your shirt, moving towards him.

“What are you doing y/n?” Beomgyu looked at you, playing dumb and trying to feign innocence. But he wasn’t very good at conveying it.

“Don’t play dumb with me, baby. What the fuck were you doing sending me that?”

“I just sent you a message saying I missed you.” He looks up at you, faux puppy eyes and a grin trying not to etch onto his face.

“Yeah, and after that message?”

“Ohhh. That. That was just a little…present.” He tries to stifle his laugh, attempting to maintain nonchalant.

“Fucking yourself while I’m not there? And sending it to me in my workplace? Where anybody could have seen? That’s not you being very good.”

“So? What are you gonna do about it?” He has a shit eating grin on his face now.

“Take your clothes off.”

“No. You do it for me.” He lays back, slightly smirking.

“You’re gonna be even more of a fucking brat today are you? I’m not gonna do it for you, if you don’t then you’re just gonna get nothing. So either take off your clothes yourself or I’m leaving.”

There’s a stare off between you both as he decides whether he should push you further or not and he narrows his eyes at you, but he decides against it, complying in the end and taking off his shirt and pants. You’re not that patient today. He still makes a scene about it though, huffing and rolling his eyes as he takes it off annoyingly slow.

“Such a fucking slutty brat sending me that aren’t you?” You sneer at him and he moans as you begin to palm him. “Trying to rile me up? You’ll regret it so much after I’m done with you.” He moans even more.

You take his dick into your hand, starting to jerk him off whilst sucking hickeys into his neck. Just a few minutes later of pumping his dick and he’s already going to cum, but you abruptly stop and then get your vibrator to put it on him. Then you just watch as he writhes under it, whining in protest.

“Y/nnn please-ah- want you to touch me instead please.”

“You’re so dumb, baby. Do you really think you’re gonna get anything you want?”

He looks so pretty like that. Vibrator on his dick, looking at you pitifully as all you do is watch him. You turn the settings up higher and he throws his head back, shutting his eyes. You put it even higher and to the highest setting until his whole body is shaking at it, looking like he’s vibrating too and he’s none stop moaning. And then when he’s just about to orgasm again, you turn it completely off.

He snaps his head at you and gasps, completely stunned as if he forgot that he was being a brat just a few moments before and that this isn’t something you would totally do. This is going to be so fun.

You lose count of how many times you do this, putting the vibrator to the highest setting until he’s about to cum and then completely switching it off and starting again. You’re getting a bit bored now honestly but you want to see beomgyu properly break and he hasn’t yet. He can be stubborn sometimes.

This fucking sucks for beomgyu. All he wanted was you and for you to come back and fuck him. But you weren’t even touching him, not even letting him cum! And you’d do it again and again and again and again. He couldn’t really take it anymore. This isn’t what he wanted, he just wanted you! He was so frustrated by now, he just wanted to let it all out and cry about it. And after you don’t even let him cum again for the nth time, his bottom lip wobbles and he can’t contain his crying anymore.

“Y/n please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, please fuck me.” He’s hiding his face and wailing into his arm. “I’ll be good for you. I promise. I’m sorry, I just…i just missed you. We haven’t been able to spend time together in so long and we haven’t fucked either. I missed you. I’m sorry. Please, fuck me y/n. I’ll be good.” He’s reduced to just a blubbering mess and he gazes up at you looking like a kicked puppy, pleading with his eyes. He looks so pretty like that, his pretty, long eyelashes clumped together with the tears, eyes and nose cutely pink from the crying and his pretty sparkling eyes. “Please…please…” You shush him, taking his face in your palm and wiping his tears.

You’re so weak for him it’s annoying. You’re not even sure if they’re just crocodile tears to get you to do what he wants. You wouldn’t be surprised. He knows You’re weak for him too.

It is true though, what with both of you having busy schedules and work, you haven’t really had the time properly to spend together or fuck each other. It’s been a tiring couple of weeks.

You want it just as bad too. So you straddle him, cupping his face and kissing him, slowly sinking down on his dick, he whimpers and says numerous thank yous. Gasping with his mouth hanging open in a perfect ‘o’ shape with his back arching as you immediately start to ride him at a fast pace, not bothering to start slow and build it up.

“You feel so good-ah-ahh!” He moans at the feeling of your walls finally around his dick. His body bouncing aggressively on the bed beneath you as just use him like a sex toy.

Beomgyu is so unbelievably loud and responsive whenever you fuck him. You love it, but it makes for awkward situations at times. Although, he doesn’t care who hears him at all. In fact, he wants everyone to know he’s being fucked good by you.

“Ahh! Can’t hold it-fuck-need to cum please”

You finally decide to let him and he cries out, eyes rolling backwards and squirting his cum inside you, staying limp for a bit but you don’t stop, fucking him ruthlessly, the lewd and sticky sounds its making echoing around your bedroom.

“Y-y/n-ah- too much, too sensitive…” Beomgyu sniffles, whimpering and gasping at the overstimulation.

“What? you were begging to be fucked and to cum but now you can’t take it, huh?”

He’s about to whine and complain but you take two of your fingers, stuffing them in his mouth to shut him up and he sucks on them instead, gazing up at you with teary eyes and his pretty wet lips.

“So slutty, baby. It’s so sexy.” You say and he muffles somewhat of a coherent thank you.

You bounce on his dick mercilessly, riding him faster and faster and faster to get yourself to cum too, only caring about your high. Beomgyu has his eyes rolling back again as he shakes underneath you, feeling like he could possibly pass out from how you were bouncing on him with absolutely no regard, too fucked out at this point and still sensitive from finally being able to cum a few moments before. And before you know it, he’s cumming unannounced once again, just as fast with a muffled scream, your fingers still in his mouth, sight making you come undone, also cumming around him.

His head rests on yours, panting with sweat glistening his body and his disarrayed bangs slightly damp, whole body flushed and pink. He is so fucked out right now. So beautiful.

You lift his chin to connect your lips with his, kissing him so much.

“I love you.” He pants.

You smile, “I’m so in love with you. You don’t understand.”

“Really? how much?” He giggles.

“Like this much” you widen your arms out, making the space between them big

He throws his head back with his famous windshield wiping laugh, “I don’t think that’s enough I’m gonna be honest.” Beomgyu jokes.

“Well, that’s how far my arms go. You can find someone else with longer arms.” You shrug your shoulders.

“I like your arms just fine actually.” He takes your own arms, wrapping them around his waist and snuggling into you.

Please actually reblog and comment if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated tysm !<3🙏💕😊 It’s discouraging when fics have such little reblogs 👎😭

#beomgyu smut #beomgyu x reader #txt smut #sub!beomgyu #sub!idol #dom!reader #choi beomgyu smut #sub beomgyu #sub! txt #txt reactions #txt scenarios #txt x reader #kpop smut

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luvyeni · 1 year

Note

Hellow. I was wondering if you can write this silly thing in my mind, Jay with a Chubby girlfriend, he's experienced and basically all the college girls recognize him as a sex God until he met her, she's virgin and insecure, like it actually took Jay a long time to gain her trust because she was thinking that it was impossible someone so popular and handsome like him liked some like her.

Here's my plot: all the girls have been talking about her and how fat and ugly she's making her even more insecure to the point that she push away Jay when he touched her like he usually does even just holding hands, especially when he holds her waist. But he's so in love with her that he just adores every single inch of her, reassuring her that no one is as beautiful as her, so he just kiss every inch of her making her first time so special and full of love and tears because I'm a cry insecure baby

Sorry for the long ask, literally i dreamed about this 🥺

FOREVER AND ALWAYS; PARK JEONGSEONG

pairings. boyfriend!jeongseong x fem!reader

wc. 1.9k

warnings. talks of weight, fatshaming, insecurities, oral (f. reader), unprotected sex, overstimulation, reader cries.

i hope it's like you dreamed💓! the bullying kind of made me sad since im a big girly myself, so i didn't add too much.

after finding out people have been saying horrible things about you, he's determined to show you how much he loves you.

—

"she's so shameless, if i was that fat i wouldn't wear such things." you frowned, looking down at the message wishing jay would hurry up. "yeah, jay is such a cute guy, he could get anyone he wants, i don't understand why he would date someone like her."

"it's probably a joke, it has to be."

you could hear them laughing at you , and they knew you could hear them. they knew because it was something you heard on a daily occurrence by people just like them.

"baby." jay ran over to you, kissing your cheek, noticing how you moved your face, but deciding to ignore it. "hey jay." the girls giggled flirtatiously. "hi." he turned back to smiling.

"my class got held up, im sorry, you ready to go home?" he went to grab your hand, something he always did when you'd walked back to your shared apartment near campus, so you could imagine his surprise when you brushed it away. "yeah, let's go."

jay was confused, it's been a while since you avoided his affection. when you started dated, jay had a reputation , that forbid you to trust him , being really standoffish , jay was much more experienced than you , actually you had no experience due to your insecurities. jay was aware of this , so he actually took the time to get to know you , and form a relationship with you , a year later and he didn't even care that you haven't had sex , he just wants to be around you all the time.

"let's stop and get some food to take home." he pointed to your favorite store. "i'm not hungry." jay was serious when it came to food though. "well then put in the fridge and eat it later, let's just get it now." he held the door open, letting you walk in.

"do you want the regular?" he stood behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist, kissing you lovingly. you felt eyes on you, and the chuckles, pushing his arm away. "get whatever jay." you went to go wait by the door, you didn't mean to sound so rude, but you really just wanted to go home.

jay couldn't even ask you what was wrong because he was next in line, and you had already put your headphone on, spaced out.

you walked the rest of the way in silence, headphones on as you finally made it to your apartment, taking your shoes off , making your way to your room, undressing out of your day clothes.

"wait, are we just not gonna talk about it." jay followed behind. "what are you talking about?" you searched through the drawer in your underwear and a tank top, looking for a pair of sweats.

"you've been acting weird the entire walk home, you've avoided my affection multiple times, you keep looking around to see if people are looking, what is it? what's wrong." you turned to him. "why are you still here?" he took a step back. "what."

"you can have anybody you want, there are girls lining up to have sex with you, they do it right in front of me so know, why are you here? what do you want from me? am i just a joke that you're stringing along for a laugh with your friends?" jay was stunned, even on your worst days, you've never snapped at him, and he could tell you didn't mean it either cause of the widening of your eyes.

"im so sorry, i didn't mean it." he was silent, just pulling you into a hug. "i'm sorry." he rubbed up and down your back. "it's okay." he whispered. "i know you didn't mean it." he could feel your shoulders shaking as you sniffled into his neck, your tears warm. "they're so mean." jay finally got what was bothering you , and he was pissed. how dare they make you feel like this, after everything he's done to make you feel secure, how dare they treat you like this.

"listen to me, there is no one as beautiful as you are, you understand me?" he looked at you with a serious face. "i don't want anyone else but you, and i will spend as long as i need to, to prove it to you love." he held your cheek in his hand, wiping the tears. "i love you okay?" you sniffled, nodding. "i love you too."

he kissed the apples of your cheeks. "my fools made my pretty baby feel bad about herself, they'll pay for this i swear." he kissed your lips. "my baby doesn't see how beautiful she is, but i do, she is the most beautiful person in the whole world." he kissed your neck. "i just love her so much." he said in between kissed. "j..jay." he shushed you. "let me show you baby just how beautiful i think you are." he backed you up against the bed, pushing you down softly.

"so so pretty." he climbed on top of you, continuing his assault on your neck. "j..jay, feels so good." you moaned. "yeah? does it?" he kissed down to your chest. "im gonna make you feel so good princess." his hand came up to grope your tits. "been waiting so long to feel these in my hand baby, so soft." you're back arched off the bed at the sensation. "so sensitive."

"t..they're too big." he lifted your shirt off your body, going back to squeezing them. "they're fucking perfect baby, i can't wait to fuck them, paint them with my cum." he licked a nipple. "jay f..fuck." you sighed, as he licked and sucked on your nipples, showing them each the same amount of love and affection, before he continued down to your tummy.

"your pretty tummy, love to touch. " his kisses were hot on your stomach. "made me feel really bad earlier, my pretty baby wouldn't let me touch her pretty tummy like i always do, it's my favorite thing, but she denied me." he was getting dangerously close to your underwear. "m..m'sorry." he gave your stomach one more kiss. "i know baby, you're gonna repay me by letting me eat your pretty pussy aren't you?" his words made your hips involuntarily buck up.

"y..yes." he slowly slid your panties down your legs, kissing up your legs, until he was face to face with your heat. "s.stop staring." you tried to close your legs, but he held them open. "sorry love, i can't help it, you're so pretty, everything about you is so pretty." he kissed the inside of your thighs. "i really want you to sit on my face." you whined, he looked up at you. "not right now." he nodded. "okay princess we don't have to, it's all about you." he gave your thighs a few more kisses, you could feel his breathing on your heat.

"jay please." you mewled trying to move your hips. "do something." he kissed your thighs one more time, before giving your cunt a surprise lick. "jay." your hands gripped the bedsheet. "taste so good baby." he gave your cunt a few kitten licks before eating you out like a starved man.

you've never felt something like this, the way he would switch between long stripes up your wet cunt, to little kitten licks, it had your head spinning. one particular lick had you grabbing his hair, grinding your cunt against his face. he moaned right into your heat, allowing you to use him to get yourself off.

"jay i feel- shit it feels so good." he could feel you gripping his hair a little harder, you about to cum. "go a head and cum pretty girl." you felt something build up in your abdomen, then snap. "im cumming!" jay continued licking your mess, riding out your high, until he felt your hips jerk from overstimulation. "j..jay."

"okay princess im done." he gave your clit one more kiss, before coming up, his lips glossed from your essence and spit. "you taste so good, i couldn't help it." his hand came down to his crotch, palming his hard on. "jay- we don't have to do anything right now, i just wanted to show you how much i love you."

you ignored him, replacing his hand with yours, rubbing him. "i want to, i'm ready." he groaned, hips bucking into your touch. "fuck- fine princess, i'll be gentle i swear." you trusted jay, you knew he wouldn't harm you. "i know you will." he climbed off of you, getting rid of all his clothes.

you never seen a cock before beside the videos, but his was probably the prettiest you've ever seen, he wasn't intimidatingly big; thick enough to make you feel good, veins decorated the sides all the way up to his dark red tip that had precum bubbling at the top, it made your mouth water.

"princess why are you staring so much?" he smirked, his thumb coming up to rub your clit. "p..pretty." he chuckled. "thank you love." he teased your hole with a finger. "so wet princess." he slowly slid his finger in. "gotta stretch you out a bit pretty, so it won't hurt as much." he slowly fingered you before pulling out.

"you ready beautiful?" you nodded. "please put it in jay." he bent down, kissing your lips, distracting you as he slowly pushed himself inside your hole. "j..jay." you moaned in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "i know love, i know." he slowly bottomed out inside you, letting out a low moan as you successfully took him hole. "pretty girl, you took all of me."

you were so tight, the way you clenched around him so tightly he knew he wasn't gonna last long, it had been a year since he had sex with anyone, forced to use his hand. "fuck baby, if i don't move now, im gonna cum just from your pretty pussing clenching around me." you moaned. "y..you can move." he pulled out, pushing himself inside you all at once this time. "f..fuck jay!" he began to thrust himself in and out of you.

"shit! princess you're so tight, so fucking wet."

his eyes were glued to your tits, the way they bounced along with every thrust. "so pretty baby, you're so fucking pretty— shit- i hate when you talk bad about yourself." you were a moaning mess. "you're so beautiful, you mean so much to me, you understand me." you nodded, but jay wanted to hear you.

"i said do *thrust* you *thrust* under *thrust* stand *thrust* me?" you felt the build up in your abdomen. "i..i understand." he kissed your lips. "i love you so much, don't forget that." you couldn't understand why, but you started to cry. "i..i love you too." he kissed your cheeks. "j..jay i'm gonna cum." he reached in between your bodies rubbing your clit. "cum for me pretty, go a head." you were a crying fucked out mess as you came on his cock. "shit!" he pulled out, fisting his cock before spilling all over your abused twitching hole.

you were still crying, overwhelmed by everything, jay pulled you into a hug, not caring about the sweat, or the smell of sex in the air, he only cared about you. "it's okay love, im right here." he rocked your body. "let it out."

he let you get yourself together before he helped you clean up, bringing you back to the bed. "don't go." he smiled, caressing your face. "i'll be right back." he said exiting the room. he returned back with the food you bought. "let's just eat in here tonight, i'll clean everything else later." you smiled as your boyfriend set everything up. "what is it?" he laughed. "i just love you so much." he kissed your lips, pulling away smiling.

"i told you, i'll always be here for you, i love you too, forever and always."

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen imagines #jay x reader #jay hard thoughts #jay hard hours #jay smut

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teacheesee · 10 months

Text

pierced (zoro x reader)

zoro gives you your third ear piercings

mention of needles, no other warnings, fluff ⭐️

“I’ll only hurt if you aren’t nervous, and by the looks of you, you won’t feel a thing,” Zoro stated, muttering the last bit under his breath.

“I’m only nervous because it's you and we’re not someplace professional,” you replied.

“Don’t be such a baby, I’ve done all three of mine myself and they turned out perfectly fine.” He wet a cloth with some rubbing alcohol and pressed it to your ear, the coolness making you pull in a sharp breath.

If it was just your first or even second ear piercings, you might not have been so nervous, but the third one up was a little daunting, but you trusted Zoro, so it would probably be fine. After cleaning your ears, he handed you a pen and a hand mirror and gave you time to choose where the piercing should go.

He watched as your tongue peaked out as you focused on your ears, admiring the vision in his head of you wearing more jewelry to frame your features. You turned back to him after giving the dots you drew a once over.

“What are you smiling about,” you asked. His ears turned red as he turned away, back to where the needle and earrings sat.

“Nothing, hurry up, you’re taking forever.” You smiled and set the mirror down. He started showing you what he was gonna use. Ice, for numbing, a needle that looked way too big in your opinion, and an eraser.

“What’s the eraser for?”

“For the needle when it goes though.” He brought the stud over, handing it to you while he situated the needle and held it near your ear.

“I’m gonna count to three, and while I do that, take a really deep breath for me, okay?” His eyes met yours and you tried to slow your nervous heartbeat down. It was gonna be okay, it was Zoro after all. Without the thought of the impending piercing, the heat of his hand pressing against your cheek and his face so close to yours would’ve been distraction enough.

“Okay, ready?” he asked. You tucked your hair behind your ears and prepared for the sting. “Yeah.”

“One,” you began to breathe in as he continued,“two--”

“You jerk!” you winced as he pierced you before the count was over, handing him the stud. He quickly put it in your ear.

“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” he chuckled, handing you the other stud.

“It wasn’t but only because you caught me off guard with that ‘one, two, three’ shit.” He laughed at your mock frustration.

“At least you know I can’t pull the same stunt twice, you’d be prepared for it,” he leaned to line the needle up.

“Whatever, let’s get this one over with.”

“So bossy,” he muttered, rolling his eyes, “I’m gonna count to three again, you ready?” You nodded and took a deep breath.

“One, two,” your face contorted in anticipation, but before he reached the final count, you felt a swift kiss pressed onto the corner of your mouth. Before you could react, he pushed the needle through and tacked onto the eraser. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips as he carefully set your earring in.

“You play dirty!” A smile crossed his face as he started wiping your new piercings with a cleaner.

“I had to give you some kind of distraction, didn’t I, I bet you didn’t even feel a thing.” You smiled and picked up the mirror to admire your new set.

“It looks so good!” You were too busy admiring his handiwork to notice him digging through the supplies he brought.

“I know you’ll have to wait until it heals up,” he fished out a small box from his bag and pressed it into your palm, “but I bought these for you.” He turned away, a little embarrassed at the sentiment. You opened the box, and poured its contents into your hands. He had bought you three earrings to match his own.

“Zoro,” you sighed, “thank you.” You looked at his face, still bashfully turned away, his red ears giving him away like they always do. Bringing your hand up to cup his jaw and turn him to face you, you pushed his cheeks together.

“Now who’s being a baby?”

A/N extremely self indulgent, wrote this the day before i got my third ear piercings. those mfrs hurt so bad but it’s gonna be so worth it to match with zoro. bye! •.*

#one piece zoro #zoro imagine #zoro x y/n #zoro x sanji #zoro x reader #zoro x luffy #zoro smut #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro headcanons #op zoro #roanoa zoro #zoro x you #zoro #roronoa zoro #zoro fluff #ronoroa zoro #one piece #one piece luffy #vinsmoke sanji

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waitimcomingtoo · 6 months

Text

SLUT!

chapter four: they took the crown but it’s all all right

series masterlist

In the morning, Peter was the first to wake up. He was wondering why he hadn’t heard the sound of Neds ten different alarms going off until he opened his eyes. He saw the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling and remembered he was in your dorm. He sat up and little and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes just as you were waking up. You sat up and scrunched your nose in disgust.

“We smell like the locker room at a public pool.” You said, making Peter laugh through his yawn.

“Yeah. We probably should’ve showered the chlorine off before going to bed.”

“Yes. We should have. But it was nice to wake up to some company nonetheless.” You smiled sleepily and leaned in to kiss him.

“Sorry. Morning breath.” He said once you pulled away.

“It’s okay. It was worth it.” You laughed before getting out of your bed. Peter watched you move around your room as you collected some things with a sleepy smile on his face. He could not believe he had just woken up in a girls bed after falling asleep beside her. He’d never been this close with a girl so to know you trusted him enough to be around him in your pajamas and messy hair meant a lot to him. He’d finally found someone he connected with and he was so glad it was you.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna shower really quick. You stay here.” You said and kissed him one last time before leaving. You came back shortly with wet hair hanging around your face.

“What time is your first class?” Peter asked as he stood up from the bed.

“10. You?”

“I don’t have anything until 1.” He replied.

“Do you want to meet up after class?” You asked and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Always.” Peter scoffed playfully. You grinned and pecked his lips one last time before leaving your dorm room together. You left the building and heading towards Peters dorm so that he could shower before class. As soon as you left your dorm lobby, you saw Brad Davis on his way to an early morning practice. He looked between you and Peter and faked a loud laugh.

“Oh, no way.” Brad laughed obnoxiously. “What do we have here?”

“God damn it.” You groaned. “Why are you everywhere? How small is this stupid campus?”

“Wow, Y/n. Can’t say I’m surprised to see you on a walk of shame.” Brad said and looked you up and down judgmentally.

“It’s not a walk of shame. I’m literally just walking out of my own dorm.” You pointed out.

“Yeah. With this guy. What happened? You ran through all the athletes so you had to start banging the nerds?” Brad asked and gestured to Peter.

“What did you just say to her?” Peter snapped as he stepped between you and Brad. You raised your eyebrows in surprise at the sight of your sweet, innocent Peter raising his voice at someone. Even Brad was intimidated by Peters tone and took a step back.

“What did she tell you? That she’ll sleep with you if you do her homework? That’s her move, you know. That’s what she does with every guy. So don’t go thinking you’re special.” Brad said with less confidence this time.

“Brad, you have no place calling me a slut. You have ten times the amount of bodies I do. And aren’t you the one responsible for giving half the rowing team the clap?” You asked him, making his eyes darken. He stepped up to you and you felt anxiety build up in the pit of your stomach.

“You better watch it, skank. At least I don’t whore myself out to any guy-“

“That’s enough.” Peter cut Brad off as he stepped between the two of you.

“Dude, who do you think you are? Don’t touch me.” Brad laughed in Peters face and tried to push past him to get to you.

“No, you’re not gonna get near her. I don’t like the way you talk to and about my girlfriend. So back up.” Peter said as he gently but firmly pushed Brad back a little. Brad looked furious at first until he processed what Peter had said. He looked at you and realized you and Peter were holding hands, making his face crumble.

“Girlfriend? Is this guy serious? You’re not actually dating, are you?” Brad asked you and sounded genuinely hurt.

“We are. We started off as friends and fell for each other. You’d know a little something about falling for a friend, wouldn’t you? Only in this case, I liked him back.” You replied. Brad narrowed his eyes at you and Peter could tell that really hurt him to hear. Instead of Brad retaliating with more insults, he just shrugged.

“Whatever.” He scoffed and bumped your shoulder as he walked away.

“And you wonder why I didn’t want you.” You called after him.

“SLUT!” Brad loudly shouted in response. People turned their heads to look not at the guy shouting in the morning, but at the girl he was shouting at. You felt hot tears of embarrassment well in your eyes and pulled Peter by the hand until you were in the boys dorm lobby. You sat down and put your face in your hands and rubbed them uo and down. Peter sat beside you and put his hand on your back to comfort you. You wiped your face off the stray tears that had fallen and laughed sadly.

“Do you know how many times I’ve been called that word? I don’t know why it still hurts me. I should be used to it by now.”

“Well, it’s like getting punched in the face. No matter how many times it happens, it’s always gonna hurt.” Peter replied, making you laugh more genuinely this time.

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience. Have you been punched in the face many times?” You asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Peter answered, making you laugh once again. Peter once again demonstrated his way of easing the pain of the words they threw at you.

“Why does Brad hate you so much?” Peter asked once you were calmed down. You sighed and looked at Peter, knowing it was time he heard the full story.

“Brad and I used to be friends. He was my first friend at college, actually. We had the same schedule freshman year so I saw him everyday. Then we started hanging out on weekends. That’s when you know you’ve crossed over from college friends to actual friends.“

“Really? I can’t imagine you being friends with a guy like that.”

“Believe it or not, he used to be a really good friend.”

“Seriously? Brad was?” Peter scoffed in disbelief.

“I know. I wouldn’t believe it either. But he wasn’t always like the way he is now.”

“Well what happened between you guys to make him act like that?”

“It happened over time. Brad had a huge crush on me freshman year. I didn’t know that until much later. He used to he really nice and funny but once he joined the basketball team, it was game over. He was still friendly to me over text but when his teammates were around, he was someone else.” You began but then stopped. You were picking at your nails again and Peter could tell you were remembering something you didn’t want to remember.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Peter said softly and put his hand over yours.

“I do, though.” You told him. “It’s my story. And if I don’t tell you, someone else will. And it will be all wrong. I need to tell you exactly what happened.”

“So tell me.” Peter said kindly, making you sigh again.

“I went to one of Brad’s games one night because he invited me. It was at some point in the middle of the basketball season and he hadn’t been playing very well lately. I knew it was really stressing him out so I went to cheer for him. I thought it would make him feel better, you know? Anyway, we were talking on a court after the game and his teammates came up to us. They asked if I was his girlfriend and started to tease us, which I pretty much expected. But then one of them asked me if I hadn’t “put out” in a while and that’s why Brad was so distracted during the games.”

“What? Who said that to you?” Peter asked as his nose scrunched in disdain.

“Some senior.” You shrugged. “He’s graduated now. I don’t even remember his name.”

“Yes you do.” Peter could tell.

“Jackson.” You admitted and gave Peter a sheepish smile.

“Always a J name.” Peter grumbled and slapped his hand on the table. You laughed softly but your smile slowly faded as you remembered that day.

“I was 17. That guy was like 22. Everyone laughed. I was mortified.” You said quietly.

“Of course you were. Who wouldn’t be? What kind of weirdo would say that to a 17 year old girl they had just met? And what did Brad say?”

“He said, “yeah, look what you’re doing to my game”, and smacked my ass.” You recalled. Peters eyebrows went up and he looked over his shoulder out the window to see Brad. He was laughing with some guys out in the middle of campus, putting a feeling of rage inside Peter. Brad got to walk around campus and laugh with his friends while you had to walk fast to avoid getting harassed. He felt angry that Brad had put his hands on you. He felt angry that no one stood up for you. He felt angry that you were innocent in the situation but you had been the one that became an outcast because of it.

“What happened after that?” Peter asked as he turned back to you. He could tell from the look in your eyes that you were still in that moment, still in the gym when it all went down.

“After that, he laughed. Then they all laughed. At me. Brad was looking at me and I knew he instantly regretted it, but he didn’t say anything so I didn’t say anything either. But I didn’t even know what to say. I was totally frozen. I wanted to stick up for myself but they were all older and I was alone in the gym with them. I was worried if I fired back, they’d make me pay for it.”

“I’m sorry you ever had to feel that way.” Peter frowned as he eyebrows knit together. He’d been bullied plenty of times himself, but he never had to worry about sexual violence in the way you did.

“Brad was different after that. I forgave him and we didn’t talk about it because I didn’t know any better at the time. But then he started to be like that all the time. He would make fun of me in front of them to get a laugh and then shoot me a text later saying he hoped I didn’t “take offense” to it. He wouldn’t defend me if his friends made a comment about my body or my appearance and eventually, he started doing the same.”

“That seems more like the Brad I know.” Peter mumbled and thought back to his high school days of watching Brad tease the girls on the cheerleading team with jokes that made them deeply uncomfortable.

“Trust me. He’s way worse than whatever you saw in high school. It’s like there’s no rules in college. There’s no principle to report to so people like Brad can get away with way more. He and his friends get to say whatever they want to me and nobody stops them.”

“I’ve seen it. It’s frustrating for me to watch so I can’t even imagine how it feels for you to be the one experiencing it.”

“It feels terrible. And hopeless. And overwhelming. All things he never has to feel.”

“What was he talking that day about when he called you a homie hopper?” Peter wondered.

“Ah, yes. He does love to throw that term around. He’s been throwing that at me for three years now. That’s where I get my reputation.” You smiled tightly. “Towards the end of freshman year, Brad asked me out. I said no, obviously, and he got mad when I rejected him. I guess he thought that despite the way he treated me and what he let our friendship become, I’d still be interested in him? I don’t know. But he got so mad at me because I guess he felt embarrassed. I wounded his manhood or whatever.”

“God forbid.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“I know, right? So to get back at me, he told his friends we hooked up but that I couldn’t get him off. Then his friends naturally started telling people I was bad in bed. And when people asked how they knew that, they’d say they had slept with me too and that it was a horrible experience. Gwen’s boyfriend, the one I told you about, is Harry. He told her that I slept with him, which never even happened, and now she hates me. She told my team and they spread it even more. So suddenly, I was 18 and my whole school thought I had slept my way through the basketball team and left them all dissatisfied. Meanwhile, I’d never even had my first kiss. But once a rumor like that gets around, no one cares about the truth. The truth wasn’t nearly as interesting. And it just gave way to all other kinds of rumors. People said I had all these diseases and stole all these boyfriends. They would whisper about me behind my back and eventually they started saying things to my face. Boys hated me. Girls hated me. No one wanted to be my friend. I couldn’t walk to class without someone yelling “slut” at me. It replaced my name my whole sophmore year. I’ve been a total pariah ever since. It’s not as bad now but my reputation stuck. I’ll always be the campus slut.”

Peter felt his heart sink when he heard the very words Ned had used to describe you the first time Peter talked about you. He knew it was bad, but he didn’t know it was that bad. He reached forward to wipe your tears and you smiled softly at him.

“Why didn’t you tell everyone that those boys were lying?” Peter wondered.

“You don’t think I tried? I tried to clear my name but women aren’t exactly known for being believed in situations like this. Or, any situation, actually. Me being a slut was the far more interesting story. So that’s what everyone chose to believe. I can’t shake this reputation until I graduate. They’ll always call me a slut.” You shrugged at your accepted fate.

“I’d never call you that.” Peter assured you as he put his hands on top of yours. You smiled and put your hand on top of Peters

“I know you wouldn’t.” You nodded. “Being with you makes me feel brand new. You’re the first guy who’s ever liked me for me, not because of what you think you can get from me. You make it all easier to bear. All the names they call me fade to nothing when I look at you.”

Peter put his hand on your cheek and brought your face closer to his so he could look into your eyes.

“None of them deserve you. They never did.” He said very seriously.

“They don’t.” You agreed. “But I think you do.”

Your conversation was interrupted by the laughter of some boys nearby. You looked over and saw a mixture of some of Brads friends and other boys who you had never actually spoken to but still liked to throw insults at you whenever they got the chance. They were looking at you and Peter and laughed amongst themselves. Instead of getting upset, you turned to Peter and leaned in to kiss him to show them that you didn’t care anymore. Peter pulled back slightly before your lips could touch and you felt your heart sink.

“You don’t want to be seen with me?” You asked quietly.

“It’s not that. It’s not that at all.” Peter quickly assured you. “I just don’t want to make things any worse for you by being seen with me. If those boys see us, won’t they call you a slut?”

Your eyes flicked back to the guys, who were all still staring with amused faces. Being seen with a boy would definitely fuel their war towards you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore.

“They might.” You agreed. “But you know what? It might be worth it for once.”

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