#killed my storage but that's alright
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guess who saw mitski today🫶
#mitski#killed my storage but that's alright#DUDE SHE PLAYED I BET ON LOSING DOGS#I WAS LOSING MY SHIT#the i don't smoke performance was fire
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He's My Man (Part 1)
Summary: The reader receives an anonymous text from a new client needing an off the books patch job. However he's annoyingly good looking and the last thing you need is some ex-special ops guy hanging around. Unfortunately for you, Russell Shaw isn't the kind of guy to walk away when he knows something's wrong...
Masterlist
Pairing: Russell Shaw x reader
Word Count: 2,000ish
Warnings: language, gun shot injury
A/N: Contains minor spoilers for Tracker 1x12. Please enjoy the start of this new series! I'm not sure how long it will go but thanks for coming on this ride with me!
__________
Your ears perked up on Saturday morning when your phone buzzed on the coffee table before you. Not your everyday one but your one for work. You swiped it open, pursing your lips when you saw it was from an unknown number.
Need a patch job on a quilt. Doug recommended you as a good seamstress in the area.
Alright, well at least this guy knew one of your clients. Doug wasn’t a regular but you’d seen him once or twice over the years which meant the person on the other end wasn’t a cop most likely.
I can fit you in. More complicated the patch, the more it’ll cost.
Not an issue.
You hummed and stood up, grabbing your coffee mug along the way.
129 Edwards Ave in twenty minutes. Use the red back door.
You took a long sip and went over to the kitchen, tossing the rest down the sink, leaving the mug to be cleaned later.
You just hoped this job wasn’t as bad as the last one.
Eighteen minutes later you heard the back door open and then silence, a moment’s hesitation as your new client entered what looked like a storage area. You flipped a light switch, illuminating the small enter sign over the doorway to the room you were prepping in. A few moments later there were heavy boots against the cement ground as he entered, turning to tile, your head lifting.
A man in his forties, a quite handsome one at that, gave the small operating room a cursory glance before settling on you, determining you were the only one there. Meanwhile your gaze shot to his injured left arm, a gunshot from the looks of it. You only spotted one bloody bullet hole and figured that was the worst of it from the way he cradled his forearm.
“You the seamstress?” he asked quietly, scanning the counter full of medical equipment and metal table in the center of the room.
“Take a seat,” you said, patting the table. You went to a sink and washed up, making sure to keep him in view at all times. He winced and struggled to get the coat off, finally managing and revealing a quick patch job had been done. After drying your hands, you snapped on some gloves, the man’s coat and overshirt now on the table behind him.
“Russell Shaw by the way,” he said.
“Y/N,” you said, carefully taking his forearm in one hand, the top of his muscular bicep in the other. You turned his arm slightly, Russell wincing again. “Looks like a through and through. We’ll do a quick x-ray to make sure there’s no shrapnel and then we’ll get you stitched up and I’ll send you home with some supplies and instructions to care for it. This your only injury?”
“Yeah. Doug said you were good.”
“I am,” you said, offering him a brief smile, he returned. “Do you have any PTSD? Going to come at me if I I need to use a scalpel?”
“No,” he chuckled. “I’m good with all that.”
You hummed, guiding him to lay back. Three minutes later you were pushing your x-ray machine aside and taking the lead vest away, Russell sitting upright.
“Can I ask a question?”
“You can ask, don’t mean I’ll answer, sweetie,” you said back, hanging up the vest and going to your laptop on the counter.
“How does one get into this line of work?” he asked.
“Asks the man that’s ex-special ops and does private contract gigs, not to mention killed probably three people minimum tonight.” You glanced over to him, Russell tilting his head. “I know who Doug is and what he does. Makes sense you do it too. You have blood under your fingernails and given the splatter patterns on your jeans, you had multiple different angled shots so multiple bodies you hit.”
“...And you don’t report that sort of thing?” he asked cautiously. You determined his x-ray looked good and washed up again, putting on more new gloves. By the time you were standing before him again, he looked nervous.
“On occasion. But only the monsters. You, you don’t strike me as a monster, Russell,” you said, wiping some antiseptic over his entry and exit wounds. He flinched but only slightly at the quick burn. A moment later you were giving him something to numb the area.
“Someone took Doug. Someone bad. They would have come back if I hadn’t done what needed to be done.” You wiped sterile gauze over his wound and then flushed it, Russell watching your graceful movements with interest.
“Like I said, not a monster.” You hummed as you worked, Russell fixated on you carefully cleaning and then pulling the skin back together, tying it up neatly. You wiped away the evidence of his blood and wrapped his bicep in thick gauze, taping it down so he could still get movement without worrying about it coming off.
You chucked your gloves in the trash and nodded back to the door behind you.
“There’s a shower in there and some brushes. Turn it on low, scrub yourself clean, under your nails too. Use the blue soap. When you’re done, throw everything away in the bin, including your bloody clothes. You leave your boots, anything you want to keep out here with me. There’s men’s sweats and some shirts on the shelf. By the time you’re done, your boots and other items will have no trace of wherever you’ve been. Got it?”
“I do like a woman that takes charge.” He smirked, sliding off the table and dropping slowly to kneel to unlace his shoes, still looking up at you. “Full service deal you got going here.”
“Yes it is and here’s a friendly reminder for my new client. You come anywhere near me with your dick out, I’ll make you regret being alive. Understand, sweetie?” you said, patting his cheek. “Off you go.”
“God damn, I love you,” he muttered under his breath. You rolled your eyes but smirked when your back was to him. Ten minutes later the room was clean and Russell exited the bathroom with damp, slicked back hair wearing a plain white t-shirt, black hanes sweat pants and white socks. You nodded to where his shoes sat on the end of the counter, Russell taking a seat in the chair nearby as he slipped them on.
After he checked he had his phone, keys and wallet, he raised himself to his feet, pulling out his wallet.
“What do I owe you?”
“A thousand.” To your surprise, he didn’t flinch at that number. But like most of your clients, he didn’t have the cash on him, at least not that much. Russell smirked as he glanced back in the bathroom.
“Smart woman. You keep the evidence as ransom until your clients pay up. You won’t destroy that until after I pay, will you.”
“Not until we get to know each other better do I do that sort of thing without payment. Seeing as you’re new and a friend of Doug’s, I’ll give you to the end of next week to pull it together. I offer payment plan options and other alternative forms of care if shit ever really hit the fan for you.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” he said, putting down five hundred dollar bills. “I can bring the other half back here later today. Just need to run to an ATM.”
“Text me when you got the rest. I’ll send you a place to meet,” you said, nodding towards the door. He gave you a small salute and shook his head with a smile.
Forty minutes later you were sitting at a table in the cafe three blocks over, happily sipping on your coffee while working your way through a cheese danish. You spotted Russell when he came in. He gave you a quick, adorably awkward wave and ordered himself a drink. A few minutes later he was sitting down across from you, a small cup and what appeared to be a banana muffin in hand.
“You’re a coffee snob aren’t you. This place is pricey,” he teased, his brow furrowing when he had a drink from his styrofoam cup. “Shit. That’s fucking good.”
“Beats whatever motel crap I’m sure you’re used to,” you said, his gaze hardening for a split second. “Sorry. I always tail my first time clients to make sure they aren’t…you know who. You know the Elkwood Lodge on route 8 is cleaner and cheaper than what you’re paying for now.”
“How would you know that?” he asked. You shrugged and simply grinned, taking another bite of danish. He licked his lips, pointing at the yet to be touched danish beside you. “Was that one for me?”
“God no. I fucking love danishes and these are incredible,” you said, finishing off the first and biting into the other.
“You are something else,” he said, smirking when he slid a white envelope across the table. You tucked it into your jacket pocket, Russell picking at his own muffin. “You ain’t going to check it’s all there?”
“You’re a smart man, Russell. I think you know not to screw me over.” He looked you up and down, earning a pointed response. “Keep that gutter mind to yourself.”
“If I’m in the gutter, you’re right there with me,” he said, absently rubbing his injured arm. “And uh, if it gets infected or I think it is, I should reach out?”
“Absolutely. That ain’t a normal injury you’re used to. Don’t play tough guy, tough guy.” He nodded, his body twisting ever so slightly towards a standing position. “Nope. Stay for at least five minutes, then you can go.”
“You really like telling me what to do, don’t you,” he grinned.
“Russell.” Hss grin was wide before he took a long drag of coffee, humming as it went down.
“What if I want to stay more than five minutes?” You paused mid-chew of your danish. “Come on, one conversation won’t kill you.”
“I don’t get involved with clients.”
“Alright. I respect that but this ain’t my end goal. I’m going to have a normal life someday. I make a pretty mean homebrew. Going to get some land, open up a brewery, have some food, make it a little family place everybody can enjoy. So that’s my goal. I sure as hell know working as a seamstress ain’t your end goal either. So again, what’s the harm in one conversation?”
You bit your bottom lip, Russell’s expression changing, ever so slightly.
“Jesus, Y/N,” he muttered. “What-“
“Shut up,” you mumbled. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Your fucking face did. You don’t want to be a seamstress, do you? Can you not get out of your line of work?” You glanced out the window, even the wonderful flavors of the pastry doing nothing to help the unease in your gut. “I can help you.”
“I don’t need your help,” you snapped. You sighed, rubbing your temple. “Sorry. I…I’m just crabby because I didn’t have my morning coffee until just now.”
“Nice try.” You glared at him, his green eyes remarkably gentle. “I don’t leave my friends behind. Now either you tell me what’s going on or I’m going to poke around myself and I guarantee that’s going to be a lot more dangerous and you’ll just have to patch me up even more. What do you say?”
You stared at him and stared at him and stared at him for what felt like forever. Then you took out the envelope and handed it back to him, along with the five hundred in your purse.
“Go buy me two more cheese danishes and a large caramel frappe to go. Then take me to your motel room. This is a long fucking story.”
__________
A/N: Read Part 2 here!
#Russell Shaw x reader#Russell Shaw#Russell Shaw Fanfiction#Tracker Fanfiction#Tracker#Russell Shaw x you#Russell Shaw series
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I have an idea for a tangerine x fem!reader, i was thinking a Mr and Mrs smith idea. So reader is married to tan and is also a contact killer/assassin but he doesn’t know this until he finds her on the train holding the briefcase
Then yanno the usual sexual tension and witty remarks 🤩
Thank youuuu
Unexpected
THE MR AND MRS SMITH REFRENVE IS EVEN MORE FUNNY WHEN YOU KNOW THAT BRAD PITT PLAYED JOHN LMFAOO
Tangerine tried his best to keep his job away from you, it was hard but he did it.
You also tried to keep your job away from him, you both usually called and sometimes maybe on a weekend if you both weren’t busy.
You both lived busy lives, sure. But you still found time for each other, and still loved each other very much.
So it was very, extremely unexpected to see each other on the train.
You and your partner Ladybug walked around.
You noticed someone, and recognized him. As you guys were about to leave the train, A familiar face stopped you.
You both quickly ran onto the train.
“That’s my husbands brother!” You whispered.
“What? He shot me, like.. twice!” He whisper yelled back, and you both quickly ran away.
“So, let me get this straight, your husbands brother is just coincidentally on this train, and he’s also a contract killer. What the fuck does your husband do?”
“He said he just works in an office job!”
“So uh, you can’t really like freak out or anything because this is just a guess, but I’m pretty sure that he and his brother were the two who did that one Bolivia job.”
“You mean the one where they wiped out the white deaths crew?”
“Yeah..”
“Oh my god. I’ve been lied to my whole marriage.”
“Technically you’ve been lying too. Y’Know it would really help to process this-“
“Shut up!” You said, and pushed ladybug aside as you saw your husband walking towards you both.
“Right, right, sorry.” He said as you both hid.
“He doesn’t know. Holy shit. Holy shit. I’m about to be divorced.”
“No you won’t. Just talk it out-“ he hid in a storage area. You flicked him off and hid against a wall, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
He walked in, and he immediately saw you. It wasn’t exactly subtle.
He said your name, confused. You opened your eyes.
“Ta-da…” you said.
“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“Work trip.”
“Me too.”
You both stared in silence as his phone rang. He answered it, still looking at you. You couldn’t hear what the other guy was saying.
After he hung up, he put his phone back in his pocket.
“I’m glad to see you, I haven’t seen you in a few days. But… seriously, what are you doing here?” He cleared his throat after a while.
“Like you said, work trip.”
He narrowed his eyes, and ladybug swore he could cut the tension with a knife. He felt as if he was watching some weird romantic action movie.
“Right, well, you should probably get off next stop. Lotta traffic after next stop…” he said.
You sighed and looked at ladybug for a second then back to him.
“I know you’re an assassin.” You said.
“Love, that is ridiculous-“ he said, way too quickly.
“Before you say anything- I am too. And I’m sorry for lying.”
“I’m not-“
“Seriously? You’re still lying?”
He felt guilty now.
“Fine. Yeah. I’m sorry for lying too.”
“So… you did the Bolivia job?”
“Yeah.”
You sighed, maybe he wouldn’t notice ladybug in the back.
“Well, uh, just- be careful, alright? We’ll talk when we get home.” You said.
“Yeah… you here for the case?” He asked.
“No. I came here to kill the wolf.” You lied.
“Alright.” He sighed, and fixed his mustache in the mirror, still not noticing ladybug.
“Love you.” He said, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and leaving.
“Love you too.”
Ladybug groaned and moved. He stood in front of you now.
“Well, now we’re fucked.”
“Yup.”
“Y’Know, there was a lotta sexual tension there. It was so weird-“
“Shut it.”
“Yup, yup, sorry.”
#bullet train#tangerine x reader#aaron taylor johnson#bullet train x reader#tangerine#tangerine bullet train#aaron taylor johnson x reader
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Shoutout to @lesbioniclepod for reminding me about Whenua's kraata collection
It's really hard to imagine the other Turaga both knowing about and being okay with Whenua maintaining a collection of live Kraata that size. And yet, apparently the others contributed to the collection by catching Kraata in secret over the years and then presumably giving them to Whenua to be put in storage.
And I'd find it hard to buy that the Turaga would think that literally all the Kraata had to be stored in stasis and that killing them was not an acceptable option. Especially since none of them expressed objections to killing Visorak back in the day.
So, my guess is that the other Turaga let Whenua keep a collection of them in stasis so that they could be studied and better understood....
...but his siblings may not have been aware of the exact size of Whenua's collection.
I can imagine him telling the others that they ought to have at least one of each kind of kraata preserved in stasis. This seems fairly reasonable to the others. By kinds, he means kinds of power, right? How many types are there? Eight? Ten? Not more than a dozen, surely.
When he insists that nobody kill any kraata until he's had a chance to look at them and make sure he hasn't already got one of them, they begrudgingly accept that. Alright, they think. But this one's insect control, didn't you already have one of those that Matau caught for you a few years back? At which point Whenua admits that when he says "One of each kind", he's referring not just to breed, but also developmental stage. Alright, they think, he's the expert.
None of the others particularly want a lecture on all the gory details of how Kraata develop, which is of course what they'll get if they try to argue with Whenua. An evil slug wouldn't have that many stages in its life cycle anyway, would it? Two or three maximum, surely.
So the others are thinking Whenua has maybe two or three dozen Kraata stashed away somewhere safe. It wouldn't be good if they were released, but they could handle it if they had to.
Whenua, meanwhile is starting to think he should start a backup collection in case something happens to these specimens. He hasn't lied to his siblings... he said at the beginning that they should have at least one of each kind, and they agreed! So a few backups would be allowed. Maybe three or four of each should be sufficient. Or... five? Hmmm.... he doesn't really trust the number five. Six. Everyone likes the number six!
Anyway.
That's how we ended up here...
#Look there's a fine line between 'eccentric collector' and 'obsessive hoarder' and Whenua crossed that line a loooong time ago#bionicle#whenua
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Lost in Ikea. || John Price x Reader
For @glitterypirateduck's “O, Captain!” writing challenge! I used prompts:
4. Lost in an IKEA
41. Price and Reader run into each other (literally)
48. A character tries to hide that they are crying or upset
Rating: E
Words: 1.3K
cw: period/menstruation + symptoms, feelings of inaddequacy?.
Tags: afab!reader (bc menstruation), you/your pronouns but no Y/N, crying, hurt/comfort, strangers.
Summary: Reader is just having a bad day and John is a kind stranger.
a/n: I just needed a little hurt/comfort for the soul. This isn't too serious. Also the 'lost' part of Ikea is more emotional than physical. ALSO ALSO, OFC I HAD TO DO THIS PROMPT, my screen name is literally Ikea.
Should you have gone to Ikea while on your period, when you’re in pain and light-headed and in a mood to kill a man? No.
Here’s the thing, you wanted a specific little bear plush they sell there (DJUNGELSKOG). And a meal from the restaurant. And maybe a new lamp. And a new set of bed covers and pillows. And honestly, you could use a little trolley for your craft supplies. And since you’re there you might as well no longer postpone buying that shelf you need-
You walked around the store for over two hours just looking at everything and, steadily, filling up your card with more than you expected. Little knick-knacks, a new set of cups for the kitchen, a picture frame, etc. etc.
You took your time, moved at your own pace, slowly observing all the room displays… Maybe got lost at one point, but that’s neither here nor there.
Once you found a storage trolley you liked, as well as a shelf, you advanced through the warehouse, pushing your large cart along.
The trolley came first. It was small and light enough and after checking that the box said White, you found yourself perfectly able to drag it onto the large metal warehouse platform cart.
But then the shelf- you crouched down and tried to get a grip on the box and pull, but the bitch was heavy. You huffed and struggled, but it wouldn’t budge. It probably didn’t help that both your womb and your lower back were throwing a rager of cramps and all your muscles were sore.
Maybe you shouldn’t have come on your period. Another weekend, any other weekend, and you’ve been strong enough to get the box with the disassembled shelf off its perch… But you wanted to do it today!
You wanted to feel like you got something done. You wanted the sense of accomplishment… You wanted to feel like you persevered through the pain!
You had the whole day planned out: You got out of bed, you showered, you had proper food and a desert, you cleaned your house, you went outside, and you finally completed something you had been putting off!
You couldn’t leave without the last one! You had to get it out! You wanted to take the stupid shelf home with you!!!!
Tears start pooling in your eyes, your lip beginning to tremble. You’ll blame it on the hormones and the frustration.
Stomping your feet, you walk down the aisle, abandoning your cart and turn the corner intent on pushing the box out from the other side-
Then you smack into a person and it knocks you so off balance (you were already sort of light-headed either way) that you drop onto the linoleum floor.
If the day wasn’t already bad enough and you weren’t already crying, taking a hard seat on the floor in front of a stranger only made you feel that much worse.
“Christ, you alright?” A man’s concerned voice comes from above you. You wince and close your eyes hard, trying to conceal the tears in them.
“Y-Yeah. Sorry. I was in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention.” You murmur and turn to the side, using the floor and the industrial shelf next to you to pull yourself up to your feet.
“No, I’m sorry, I was walking fast too.” He replies. “I wasn’t fast enough to catch you. Might be getting old. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be.” His tone sounds playful, like he’s trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, haha.” You try to laugh it off. You still haven’t properly glanced at him and he can tell that you’re trying to conceal your redened eyes as you look off to the side.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Didn’t hurt you, did I?” He checks, his voice a lot more gentle.
God, you feel pathetic. Crying in front of a stranger in the middle of an IKEA warehouse.
“I’m fine… Just… having a bad day.” You reply and for a moment you finally look over at him.
Great. On top of making a fool of yourself in front of a stranger who happens to be super kind, said stranger is also older and hot, definitely a dilf. Great, just great. You really should’ve stayed at home today.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” He replies softly as he peers at you with bright blue eyes under thick brown eyebrows.
“It’s fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to make this whole thing awkward. I’m sorry.” You turn to return to your things. Fuck the damn shelf, you’re going home and never coming to this IKEA again.
“Wait. Hey!” He says as he calls after you. Turning to look at him, your face twists into an upset, embarrassed look.
“You don’t have to apologise for having a bad day or having a cry, it’s alright.” The man says as he approaches you again when you’re already at your cart.
As he speaks, you notice there’s no pity in his tone, or some sort of cringe-riddled sentiment of awkwardness that comes to normal people when a stranger suddenly overshares. He’s just… kind.
Your face softens a bit more and you quickly turn to look away. Instead, your eyes find the stupid box with the shelf you want, still on the industrial shelves, and you start crying more.
“I just want that bloody shelf and it’s… it’s too heavy and I can’t get it into the cart and- I can’t believe I’m crying over this!” You complain and gesture vaguely to the space in front of you as you find yourself sniffling.
“Alright. Hey, it’s alright.” He assures you and gives you a friendly tap on the back, on your shoulder, over your hoodie. “How about I get it for you?” He asks.
You find yourself looking up at him. “I don’t wanna bother you.”
“Not at all!” He says with a friendly smile and a nod. “I’m plenty strong and I’m already here! Plus, imagine me walking away now after offering?” He jokes.
You can’t help the chuckle the escapes you amidst your broken sobs. “Would’ve been proper rude.”
“Of course it would. And my mum raised me right.” He adds playfully, causing another chuckle to rise out of you. “That’s the smile I wanted.” He cheers.
John moves forward and crouches, helping to slide the heavy box off the shelf with a mighty grip of his big hands, sliding it onto the bottom of the metal cart with the rest of your shopping. “There it is.”
“Thank you…” You murmur as you seek for tissues in your pockets, grabbing one to dab away your tears.
“It’s alright.” He assures you again. “And, for the record, there’s no shame in crying. If you would’ve asked me 3 days ago what I was doing, I’d tell you I was having a good sob in my car after going to the supermarket because I was so tired and overwhelmed.” He admits and chuckles.
“You?” You ask, not quite sure if he was being sincere.
“Oh, yeah. I cry all the time, me.” He tells you and winks one of those blue eyes at you, making you chuckle again.
“Well, thank you, erm…” You trail off, realizing you don’t know his name.
“John.” He says while reaching a hand forward for you to shake. You return the introduction with your own name.
“You think you’ve got this? Or are you gonna need help getting it into the car?” He gestures at your entire cart.
“Oh, shite, you’re right… Need to get this into the car…” You groan and facepalm yourself.
“Tell you what-” John says as he looks at you. “You wait for me while I get the rest of my things-” He takes a list of paper with scribbled reference numbers on it from his pocket. “And we’ll go through checkout together, and I’ll help load this up into your car?”
His offer is so sweet and sincere and kind, you find your eyes clouding with tears again. Then, you nod eagerly and dab away the tears with your crumpled up tissue again.
[ O, Captain! Masterlist ] || [ My Masterlist ]
#ikea writes 💚#ocaptainchallenge#cod x reader#cod fanfic#masterlist#captain john price#john price#john price x reader#call of duty#cod fandom#captain price#captain john price x reader#captain price mw2#price mw2#price
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favourites - platonic!crowley x reader
gender non-specific, reader is a uni student, crowley is a father figure, implied platonic!aziraphale x reader
a/n: back from my hiatus to post this. it's been sitting in my drafts for a while. hope you like it!! <3
word count: 767
You thought it'd be nice to surprise Aziraphale and Crowley and come home during the break. However, you hadn't imagined they'd be in the middle of another… unearthly situation.
Turns out the two of them have been harbouring the Archangel Gabriel, whom you had only met once. And whom the last you heard of was when he tried to kill Aziraphale.
But, love thy neighbour, you suppose.
On your way home, you thought it peculiar that the streets were wet despite the forecast predicting no rain. However, the weather is known for its unpredictability, so you shrugged it off.
When you arrived at the bookshop, you were met with a grumpy-looking Crowley who, to your credit, did look surprised to see you. He explained that Aziraphale, against his own wishes, had taken the Bentley to Edinburgh. And he ignored your comment about how he never lets you drive his car.
So, you stayed at the bookshop with Crowley. You caught a glimpse of your room upstairs. Your bed, your desk, even the chair Aziraphale insisted on having so he could read to you was still there, despite you telling him that you were too old for bedtime stories. Everything was in the exact same place you left it.
Except now, Aziraphale's copious amounts of books have taken up storage like stalagmites in a cave. And there was a strange, large man occupying your space. You decide to take refuge downstairs.
To pass the time, Crowley tells you about Job as you look through the book that Aziraphale had left out. He tells you about God's plan to test the faith of their favourite human, how he had free reign to ruin Job's life but ultimately didn't.
Crowley was always nice, you thought.
After hearing the story, you say, "It's a bit overly righteous."
"Well, we are talking about God," Crowley replies.
"Yeah, I know, but there must have been a better way." You try to think of an analogy. "What if I said, 'Oh Crowley, you're my favourite dad, but maybe you only like me because you have to'. And then I crash your car and set your plants on fire and… punch Aziraphale in the face to see if you'll still like me afterwards."
Crowley stares at you with subtle incredulity. You sense that he's about to say something judgemental.
But instead, he asks, "I'm your favourite?"
"What?" you reply.
"You just said I'm your favourite."
"…I was just trying to make a point."
"Oh, so Aziraphale's your favourite?"
"Who said I had a favourite?"
"Come on, everyone has a favourite parent."
"Well, I don't."
Crowley stares at you even more, waiting for you to break. But you seem successful in holding your ground.
"Alright, whatever," he gives in. "And I do like you, by the way. Not just because I have to."
"Hah, I knew it," you give him a big smile.
"Just don't crash my car or do any of what you just said."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
He smirks back and continues, "I agree with you about the whole Job situation, too. So does Aziraphale. That was the first day the two of us were truly on the same side."
"Our side," you say.
"Exactly," Crowley nods, "Though we hadn't realised it at the time."
You watch as Crowley smiles to himself. It reminds you of the nights in your room when Aziraphale would abandon whatever book he had picked and tell you a story of him and Crowley instead.
You find yourself smiling too.
But a crash from upstairs ruins the moment. It's Gabriel, or rather, Jim.
You sigh and ask, "Did Aziraphale have to give him my room?"
"No, but I suppose he wanted Gabriel to be comfortable for whatever reason," Crowley shrugs.
"What if he's touching my stuff or something?"
"He probably is. Might be breaking a few of your things, too."
You cringe at the thought. "Would it really hurt you to try and make me feel better?"
"What, you want me to lie to you?" Crowley asks.
"You are a demon, aren't you?"
"Retired, technically."
Unable to think of something to respond with, you turn your sights to the street through the window, wondering when you'll see the Bentley return.
"Hey," Crowley grabs your attention again, "This will all be over before you know it. Then I'll let you and Aziraphale drag me to whatever dreaded place you both wish."
You aren't sure how true that is. Or how much trouble Jim will really be for them.
But for now, you just smile. "Sounds like a deal."
#good omens#good omens x reader#crowley#crowley x reader#ineffable husbands#ineffable husbands x reader#aziraphale#aziracrow#edit: realised that gif of crowley is actually aziraphale oops 🤭
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Miguel's Secret
Miles and Gwen venture into a large storage room in the spider society, finding secrets long hidden from the rest of the society by Miguel.
Enjoy!
"We shouldn't be back here. I already made a bad first impression with Miguel back there and now he's gonna want to actually kill me. Who knows? Maybe he'll throw a chair at me next time instead of food-"
"Shh" Gwen silenced him, before glancing around and shining her phone light on the various boxes that had been discarded in the room.
Her light settled on the end of the room, where a curtain had been hung from the ceiling and drawn closed, as if to hide something. She started walking towards it, only for Miles to catch a grip of her wrist.
"Miles, let go" She huffed in annoyance at her friend's protectiveness.
"What if it's something you really don't want to see?" He said, looking concerned.
"It won't be. It'll probably just be some more boxes. I wanna check though." She replied. Miles' eyes flickered between the white curtain sheet and Gwen before he sighed deeply and let go of her. He remained close behind her as she advanced to the curtains.
Gwen took a deep breath, held it, then pulled the curtain back, revealing a woman lying down on an examination table. Upon further inspection, the two realised she wasn't a human but a very realistic-looking robot, judging by the red ring on the side of her head.
Miles let out a profanity while Gwen gasped in freight. "Okay, not a dead body but still just as creepy" He whispered.
Gwen stepped closer to the robot, pressing the red ring which changed to blue, and the robot woke up...
(Switch to first person)
My eyes gently opened at the sound of voices. Two young voices, one male, one female. Both sounded scared. I slowly moved my head in their direction. I looked between the two teens, not recognising their faces. I gently sat up, after not moving in so long, I felt stiff. By now, the teenagers were less scared and more defensive.
"And who are you supposed to be?" The boy asked.
I gave him a kind and gentle smile. "I am Y/n. And you?"
"Miles"
"Gwen" The girl added.
I got off the table and looked around the dark area. "Where...where am I?"
Gwen and Miles looked at each other to exchange looks only they understood. Gwen answered me.
"You're in the Spider Society's basement, or should I say the storage room"
I grew sad. Where was I locked inside the storage room. And then the last moments of my last encounter of seeing light came back to me. I could still remember every detail of his face, my creator, Miguel O'Hara. "Miguel..." I whispered to myself, but Gwen and Miles heard me.
"You know Miguel?" Gwen asked.
"Why, of course. I was his Ai after all" I smiled sadly.
"A second Ai of Miguel's?" Miles tilted his head.
"I was Miguel's first Ai assistant, just before he made Lyla. The only reason he never mentions me is because I had a defect. Or, at least, that's what he called it. Miguel had programmed me to do a number of things, which involved making him breakfast and helping him with his work. He had made me a physical body, which looked so human sometimes it even tricked him. I would end up having to remind him I wasn't a real person." I sighed and looked down at my hands as I continued.
"My defect seemed to be a certain emotion. The first time I had ever displayed it, was the last because Miguel immediately stopped me and told me to sit down in the examination chair so he could check everything was alright. He told me to close my eyes and now I'm here. It seems he had shut me down for a while. Ever since I've been shut down, I've been searching for a reason as to why he would shut me down but-"
"He thought you fell in love with him" Gwen stated.
I looked up at her surprised. "What?" I whispered.
"You loved him, didn't you?" Gwen pressed.
"Gwen, I don't think you should be nailing her with questions like this" Miles said, looking worried.
"No, we need to know"
"We really don't"
"You love him" Gwen ignored Miles, stepping closer to me causing me to step back.
"I.."
"Gwen, stop it"
"Your hesitation just confirms it. You fell in love and he killed you for it" Gwen stated.
"Gwen!" Miles scolded, not believing she had just said that.
I looked down solemnly. "Death is never our own decision" I said.
"You poor AI" Gwen sighed, turning to Miles. "Does Miguel know she's awake?"
"Let's hope not."
Part Two
#femalereader#xreader#marvelxreader#miguel o'hara x reader#atsv miguel#atsv#miles morales#gwen stacy#into the spider verse#spider gwen#lyla spiderverse#short
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Welp, ep7 didn't kill me! ... the depression post ep might- (Theories/Rambles)
Anyways! Ep7 oh boy, it was full of surprises even for me. The animation, the intense battle scenes, everything about it was AMAZING! Of course, that's just my opinion :3 (feel free to yeet it into the stratosphere)
Get ready for word diarrhea and some shaky and loose thoughts on the ending and what may happen next. Fair warning, my theories are pretty wacky, so somethings may sound way out there. XD
Spoilers duh, oh and gore warning? Kinda?
I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅
This puzzled me a bit, but the more I thought about it, I suppose the more it makes sense (give me a hot minute, I'm slow ok 😅).
The lockers act as a storage container for the solver drones. But what about the image from ep6? It seemed like they had free reign over the office and could come and go. Even as far as a sentinel cuddling up to Nori. But that's the thing. Later we see that Nori and Yeva were the only ones that have been the MOST successful with the absolute solver experimentation. The others, were either corrupted or were unaffected.
That means, in the time that the patches were given to the drones experimented on, was the time that they were allowed to be in the office. But as the patches and experimentation progressed, they were moved down for more security.
Soooo V. What are my thoughts on her and her whereabouts? The shot of the hall with the sentinels did not make it into the ep. Sure, it is probably fairly easy for them to get that shot. Especially if they kept the rig of the hall, throw around some sentinel bodies, and make the light go out. But this lack of V is what's making me still believe she's out there. Delusional, I know. But we don't get to see her eldrich form. This is the Absolute Solver that has been chilling in the labs, and simply recreates the hologram of all the drones it was ever a part of.
If V does not return by ep8, then I will lay her to rest properly. Until then, I'm marking her as MIA. She may be out there, she may not.
Alright, so the crucifix is also recounted as "failsafe USB (606b)" or at least that's how I see it, given the crucifix is just one fancy usb.
Now, the other time we did see the 606 was in the beginning of ep5.
wdOS_606 is basically the code that kills the drone and its core. So, effectively, that crucifix works as a kill code for the absolute solver. The timeline of events probably happened like this: Nori was showing signs of the Absolute Solver progressing much faster than any other drone the teams have worked with. One time, Nori went Absolute Solver crazy, the placement of the image that is also seen in ep6 suggests that this was the first or one of the first times Nori went rogue. The teams then decided to contain her better and suspended her by the chains, all the while waiting for the failsafe USB to be completed. At least, that was the plan. "Don't all die and almost let it out again lol. We're pretty mad but mostly scared about that." subtitle backs it up.
Now this.
This entire sequence seems rather interesting. Absolute Solver, at its best, understands emotions on logical level. Its more like a math equation for it. As in: Bad things happen = changed and more subdued personalities. But with N, I suppose it found it rather interesting to watch him. Despite all of the bad experiences he may have had, he remained his happy self. The solver even went as far as quoting him.
That type of innocence, despite the horrors he has seen and committed, most likely amused the solver. So it allowed the team to retain those personalities and traits- also knowing that it could easily get rid of them if it really wanted to.
Uzi's administration rights still hold up. It seems that in this moment, the solver attempted to completely corrupt N and have him as a mindless drone that followed orders. Buuuut Uzi's admin rights denied that, saving him from becoming the solver's puppet and being what he was back on Earth during the massacre of humans.
Eating is often referred to in this episode. Seems that I was somewhat right in regards to the Absolute Solver being the core of Copper-9 now. It has grown rather large, and taken possession of the entire planet. To maintain that, it needs sustenance. Be it in form of biological and mechanical life, or the planet itself.
So J destroyed the only means of getting off the planet, and the possibility of saving themselves or the planets for the gang- of course there's still the pod that J is using, but that will not be given up without a fight.
The issue here I have is... to whom did J give her loyalty to? Couple theories:
To Tessa- J has NO idea this is not Tessa, and is following her old boss just like in the days of the manor.
To Absolute Solver- J knows this is not Tessa, but still is loyal to it.
Issue: If number 1 is correct, then why follow through the plan with destroying the pod? It seems that was the case all along when Tessa told J to "mind her ship." Furthermore confusing to me is her comment.
Tessa: Her (Cyn) last known act was siccing you lot on other human exo-planets.
N: But why?
J: That's what we're trying to figure out, bozo.
J's line can be taken both ways. As 1- J is actually trying to figure out why Cyn is acting up. As for 2- this was simply a cover up for the whole plot.
It seems here that the drones that were previously worked on simply stayed in their lockers and their corrupted form. But that was something that made me wonder. The drones were all corrupted with the Absolute Solver to some degree. They were all given patches of the solver- some had effect and others didn't. But that still means that there were a lot of drones that had their cores corrupted and look like Heart. Here's the question.
Why didn't they simply leave? Nori's corrupted core is fully sentient, despite being possessed by the solver the most. Of course, there is the possibility that whatever Nori created in the cathedral simply took those cores and dragged them into the center. Further growing itself. Ah, well I kind of answered my own question there.
So the largest number I could count was 129 on this list. Meaning, there were at least 129 drones experimented on. Seems to follow the crazy theory I had of the Absolute Solver taking control of the core. 129 minus 2 (Nori and Yeva) cores will definitely make a great impact/engrave itself into the planet in such a way and thus manifest the corridors of flesh and hands that go all to the way to Cabin Fevers camp ground.
It also seems that the Absolute Solver, instead of being injected straight into the drones, was done in patches. Now, my knowledge in computer language and science is non-existent, but it does make me wonder. Yeva has 2.1.8 patch, while Nori was still "in progress." This either implies:
Nori had a newer patch and this was the one that caused her to go so berserk they had to restrain her in the cathedral.
Nori did not have a new patch, the one that Yeva has was the latest one and Nori simply was not faring well in the transition.
Something I noticed/finally grasped on my 3rd watch through:
Who the hell is "they?" Well, my tired brain finally decided to kick in and work. "They" were the scientists. So the crucifix was something that the humans only now figured out how to make. The kill code that would put the Absolute Solver down. That was why the Solver was on Copper-9. It needed that crucifix, so it could get rid of it. "They kept cutting my feed." Most likely referred to when the hosts would become possessed by the solver. Just as seen with Nori, the second they went crazy, it was a quick shut down, thus cutting the feed for the Absolute Solver as it tried to figure out what they were doing.
So, just as many have theorized, Nori did cause the core collapse, but not in the way that I expected it. It's rather funny that instead of this being like a full Absolute Solver possession that caused this on purpose, was simply one bad event after another. And I love the show for this. Despite having the route that the Absolute Solver could have just imploded the planet on purpose and on its own (by possessing a host), it was instead a sequence of events that is similar to humans and their downfall. Nothing orchestrated, but just a compiling effect that created one huge problematic black hole.
So this page does give some insight. The Absolute Solver sent DDs to wipe out the other solver hosts. (I'll touch on this in a different post) And the DDs were either referred to as "pets" by the Absolute Solver (which is more likely, as it called Uzi a "puppet") or a term that Nori coined. "Puppet hosts with nerfed ___ the entity-ensures control" The nerfed ___ is most likely their cores/thought process. As in, Administration CYN is what nerfed their abilities to remember anything regarding their past, and used that to control the DDs.
This was something I couldn't kind of settle with. Events wise, it can be assumed this is all happening at the same time. Just as Uzi is getting through the mine shafts and picking up the lantern, Tessa is blowing up the computer and nomming on Doll, and N is being dragged through corpse walls and being saved by Heart.
It was Doll- Although, the more I looked at this thought, the less likely this became. Doll's was intact when she came to warn Uzi, and stayed there until Tessa entity ate it towards the end of the episode. We have yet to see an instance where a core entered the Absolute Solver form and returned back to the core form without taking any damage. Specifically in J's case, the solver form was blown up and only then returned to the core form. Nothing was in the mine shafts that could have possibly injured it enough to go back to the core form and sneak back into Doll's body.
Tessa...uhh whatever the fack she is- Based off of Doll's getting attacked scene, the entity seems to have a rather quick ability in switching forms. So I wouldn't put past it that the entity attacked Doll, saw that another part of the Absolute Solver was trying to chase N down, and just went along with the rest of the solver to hunt him down.
On my first watch through, I was worried that N would go crazy from breaking rule 1 of robotics: Not to injure humans. Granted, in the first watch through, everything went so fast that I barely had any time to grasp anything. After the second watch through, it becomes quite clear and apparent. The Absolute Solver took the rules of robotics out of the DDs. I mean, how else were they supposed to attack and kill the humans back on Earth. Furthermore, Tessa was not a human. So even if N did still have the rules of robotics programmed into him, they might not have set off. Why the "might not?" Because of the sentinel. Perhaps because the sentinels were created by humans, their ai is much simpler, but when that dingo bit Tessa, it had an aneurysm. It detected blood, and thus, the ai deduced that the sentinel just injured a human and decided to alt f4 itself. Would the same happen with N? I'm not quite sure. Given that the solver programmed the DDs, it could be either instance: Take the rules out completely or enhance the rules so that blood isn't what triggers the rule breaking.
This is something that made me wonder. Did the DD trio go to any other exo-planets previously? I took this scene in two ways:
This has happened before. The solver knows that N will continue to forgive the Absolute Solver because something similar has happened before. As in, the solver is out to kill a planet, it does that, but in return sacrifices any DDs that might have been there to get rid of the potential solver hosts. The backups are booted and sent to a new planet.
This is the first time this happened, but the solver has previous experiences. Just as the solver had made N forget about his time in the mansion and the bloodbath of killing humans, it can do the same thing. Kill N, and make his backup version forget this ever happened.
This one single frame made me wonder a bit too hard. The little nulls I assumed to be miniature and contained blackholes. But then when N dove under one... there was collision? A black hole, as far as I understand (which isn't very much ;w;), is something that cannot be touched. It warps time and space, so how are you supposed to be able to touch it? But I'm quite sure my tired brain is just thinking too much about simple details.
For some odd reason, I always thought that the solver wings were more flesh, and thus couldn't take too much damage. Proven wrong again! Uzi withstood N's firing and her wings came out undamaged.
Main question for me: Why would the Absolute Solver eat the core? Specifically in drone form/possessing a host. If it was the hole that's in the cathedral, I can understand that somewhat better. But what does a solver drone gain from eating another corrupted core?
Perhaps acts as a power boost? Whatever the corrupted core can do, the powers are transfered uhh... somehow?
Simply sustenance, and a way to get rid of Heart, you're thinking too deep into this Ginkgo (more likely option) Plus, backed up by Tessa entity eating Doll's core and being unaffected. Perhaps it just remains in the body as a source of energy.
IC-0n IS THAT YOU?! XD But in all seriousness, this scene was intense. The animation, the music and sound effects, the lines, everything was executed perfectly and created the monstrosity that may or may not haunt my nightmare tonight :3
My first thought was, "OH YOU! YOU FINALLY SHOWED UP! ...... GO AWAY!" This entity... uh I'm not quite sure what to call it yet, has been teased all the way back to the poster. And I would like to bring back something I said a bit while back. "What if the double x'ed character is someone we already know... but is dead? A character that is confirmed/somewhat confirmed to be dead can return back to life, and their body forced to move by the absolute solver." (I will be delving deeper into debunking this in another post.) Welp, that does it. I had the idea, just didn't know who the fack it was. XD So we get a drone, wearing Tessa's skin.
In hindsight, there was a big fat foreshadowing that I took for granted. This thing.
The drone body is a WD, and clear as day 1001 written on the core. What does it mean? Ah well, I'm actually not too sure. Going with the 002, 048, 029, etc. numbers, I can only assume 1001 is something the Absolute Solver made and gave it that number, possibly suggesting that there is more of these monstrosities out there.
So. Another "sacrifice." Why the quotation marks? Well... the first "sacrifice" was V and I'm still calling her MIA. Ginkgo, its clearly shown Uzi is most likely not gonna make it out of this one- shhhhhhhh, there is no war in Ba Sing Se. I will call Uzi MIA as well.
She's dead. The core was charging up behind her, much like it did when Nori's null hand fell, and when IC-0n- I MEAN- Tessa? The entity, jumped in. Uzi might just be the thing that sets the next core collapse- even the planet collapse- off. What Uzi is seeing, is just something that the Absolute Solver might have conjured up as her last memories before the imminent shut down.
She isn't dead. You see, this entire shot has me puzzled (nothing new lol). Your evidence for this one Ginkgo? Two images.
These scenes might not be much, but I will try to grasp at air here. It's unclear where Heart goes to. I mean there are two routes, one of which sounds more likely. First, she's going into the core because it connects to the entirety of the mine shafts and the core. Second, she's gonna use a door off to the side to go to the mine shafts and the same place that N gets dragged through. Why am I using these as poor evidence? Well, we've had 2 characters enter dark spaces full fo solver flesh and still make it out. Ginkgo, Uzi is literally falling in that scene, there is nothing to stop her fall. Yeah I know, like I said, I'm grasping at air with this one. Buuuut, the mind scape theories sound more fun, promise! ^w^
First off, where the HELL could this possibly be?
A memory/mind scape the Absolute Solver created: This has to be Copper-9, based off of the two iconic moons to the top right. A memory, because this could be either the first core collapse, or Uzi viewing the destruction of Copper-9 from another solver entity's point of view. Mind scape as in this is where the solver drone minds go to. Every solver drone that has been consumed by the large Absolute Solver in the cathedral, had their own personalities and thoughts. To keep them all from clashing and acting out, perhaps the solver takes the hive-mind plane and creates spaces that the solver drones can warp through.
The "ascension" plane: Ginkgo, that's it, to the hospital you go chop chop. /j Anyways, why am I even bringing something like this up? Well, Uzi's mural says this.
There are two routes here: succumb to be the host of eternal entity, or ascend. Ascend to... where? And how? Here is where the more intense crack theories enter (or at least for me). This space is the hive-mind of the solver, yes, but this is where Uzi's internal battle against the Absolute Solver will happen. We all know that the last mural will be of N fighting off the Absolute Solver (most likely). But what if he had outside (inside technically?) help. While N may hold out against the solver, he may need help to finally break through and finish it off. Who would be a better candidate than Uzi? She has now, for better or worse, become part of the large amalgamation that sits in the core. Perhaps with the strongest hosts in the hive-mind: Uzi, Nori, Yeva (maybe, I'm not quite settled on her yet), and Cyn, they will all be able to stop the solver for good on Copper-9. This process is the ascension. Instead of succumbing to the Absolute Solver within the hive-mind scape, she will fight once again. This time around, coming out victorious and ascending to uhh... I'm not quite sure yet? Robo-heaven? Returning back into her corporal body? Becoming the next Absolute Solver but with less need to rule the world? (Ah, well she might still actually rule the world just for the fun of it XD) Honestly, it's far too late for me to be thinking any more. I might add on to this later on.
Is it a rather optimistic take on the ending? Perhaps, but I need a little optimism right about now. ;w;
Want more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts! ;w;
#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones uzi#murder drones nuzi#murder drones theory#glitch productions#murder drones ep 7#murder drones episode 7#murder drones spoilers#murder drones tessa#murder drones yeva#murder drones nori#murder drones doll#murder drones absolute solver#murder drones j#murder drones v#uzi doorman#serial designation n#md uzi doorman#md uzi#murder drones serial designation n#md serial designation n#serial designation j#serial designation v#uzi x n#nuzi#bluginkgo's rambles/theories#md n#md theory
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Heartbeat
This header is from this post i havent stopped staring at by @/askmatthias (pls check him out omg omg omg it so good pls you gotta look at it gives me life actively)
In honor of Matthias coming home (in five days) and me begging for his s tier skin -hands you a fic- bby pls come home i need you in need you
Rated Explicit | Warning: vampirism
The clashing of swords drew his attention innocently, when it was quiet he did not know the scene would change to see you putting back on your shirt and the Lord of the Desaulnier manor fixing his hair.
“Your lamb is here.” The man is shirtless and holding a foil-fencing sword in each hand. Matthias never directly interacted with the mysterious noble but almost everyone says he is a cold standoff individual, Aesop though never spoke ill of him.
“At least pretend to be a gracious host, Joseph!” Snapping at him while he puts the foil-fencing swords back on the sword racks. The click of the vampire lord's tongue is loud. He is intimidating, beautiful as a woman but graceful as a man, Matthias stares then stops the second the other notices.
“Be sure to do what we talked about, (Name).” His hand is on your lower back and his lips are on your shoulder as he pulls back your shirt. It is personal, and though you are intimate with most of those who live in this manor, what he sees is some more to it.
From what you told him about vampires by nature are creatures who bend to the whims of desire, a beast that hungers endlessly. Some can control it while others become enslaved by it.
“Yes, monsieur.” You turn your head as he places two more kisses before slipping away. “Good night.” It is strange hearing you speak with a much more gentle tone. You are gentle, especially with Emil, Andrew, and Aesop. You can be kind, you can be firm, and you adjust to the needs of the individual.
“Evening.” Lord Desaulnier says before turning around and heading towards the door the puppeteer stands in front of.
Matthias moves aside not wishing to touch him unintentionally, his eye glancing and catching the cold glance of piercing red eyes. That made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
The door is closed behind him and now you are alone with the vampire fledgling.
“Don't mind him,” Speaking up when alone with the new arrival, “He is the same way with Emil too.” Emil is the man who is always lingering in your shadow. One might say shy but Matthias believes he is cautious. The only man to sleep in your room, and honestly sleep there.
“I see.” His gaze is elsewhere as you finish dressing, “Training this late?”
“Joseph needed to clear his mind for a bit,” You turn around now once more wearing your shirt, “You're up late. Can't sleep?”
Matthias shakes his head, “... I got hungry.” Though he ate a few hours ago, his gut still ached for more.
“Alright,” Taking his hand, “Let's go to your room.”
“Wait, why my room?” He was going to head to the kitchen.
“To feed, unless you want to bite me here?” Titling your head to the side slightly curiously.
“No,” Clearing his throat, “No, I mean… Are you sure?” It has been some time since he fed on you, he still fears he may hurt you.
“Of course. You need a direct source before you can solely use the blood vials and blood wine.”
You learned during your time with Joseph that there are ways to satisfy the beast of hunger. Solid foods like red meats from animals help maintain and hold weight. Bloodwine to calm the body. Blood vials to store and immediately drink if one is not feeding on enough blood— However, blood in storage can clot over time.
Direct blood drinking though has its uses but rarely is anyone willing like you, and rarely do most vampires know how to drink enough without killing anyone.
"Come on, the sooner you feed the less likely you will hurt me.”
The puppet named Louis is in another room locked in a case. This is done by Matthias Czernin's specifications, yet, he still checks the locks on the door. The door is across from his room and sandwiched between Edgar's room and Frederick's room. Both are pure-blood vampires who were given invitations by Joseph.
Matthias rarely sees his neighbors, thankfully. You did that purposely so he does not feel like he must interact with everyone immediately.
You wish he would personalize his room… A bed, a workbench for his puppeteering equipment, and a wardrobe. Nothing more.
“(Name).” Having you sit on the bed with your back to him, “Can you… May you lower your shirt?”
You lower it until it rests on your forearms, and you lean your head to the side exposing your neck. His hands are restless, unsure of what to do. “Hold my shoulders to keep me steady.” He holds you, gentle at first but he grips harder when his fangs latch onto your neck.
The sting from fangs piercing skin is not something you can grow used to, it hurts a tad less but the pain is still there. But the pain never lingers as pain turns to pleasure, your body swaying as he drinks from you. You know your limits and the more he feeds the closer you are to reaching it.
“Matthias,” A groan from him as his arms wrapped around you keeping you in place, “Matthias, enough.” You might have to stop him and your hand reaches behind you to touch his face.
This makes him stop feeding, his mouth off your skin, tongue licking the residue of blood seeping out of the bitemark.
“You did good.” Praising him as you turn around when his arms let go of you, “Feeling better?”
A nod, he looks away, “You should put your shirt back on.” If he can blush then he has enough blood in his system.
“It's just my chest.” Teasing him, “You have seen me naked before.”
Once! By mistake because Naib Subedar and Norton are too daring for their own good!
“Do you not want to look at me?”
“I do.” A desperate tone, “But…”
“But?”
“More.” He tries to find the words, “I would want more.” His hands on his lap gripping the fabric of his pants.
You fully turn and take his hand placing it on your chest, the center where he can feel your steady heartbeat. You push forward against it until you are close enough to smell your blood on his lips.
“(Name).” Do not tease him, please do not be cruel.
“Matthias.”
The bed creaks with movement, the shared uneven breathing, the moans and groans of pleasure. The room for the first time seems more lively than it has in months.
You move your hips, rocking them forward and back, grinding slowly on his lap. There is no rush, you want him to experience this slow and steady for right now. You hold onto his back, his hands holding your thighs from underneath. His mouth meshed with yours, the puppeteer cannot get enough of kissing you.
He is not the best kisser as he has no experience in this but he learns along the way by copying your movements. Everywhere you touch it is like his body cannot help yearning for more, the voices for once are silent, and gazing up at you is like looking upon a god.
You would never take such a compliment, you never believe yourself above others whether physically or mentally. Everyone is an equal and you give only what others give you.
He wishes you would not. Wish you had met him first… Saved him. Though he knows it took a lot to get you to this current gentle state. The violence he heard Aesop was the first, he spoke only once about the large photograph of you in one of the rooms in the manor. The you who knew only blood and steel, a far cry to the person he has in bed with him.
When you both are exhausted, laying on the bed covered in the thin coat of sweat with his cum inside of you and you cum on his all over his now cock. His hand is on his chest, there is no heartbeat but he swears he can feel it racing. His eyes close as you pet his messy hair, his head on your chest with his ear above your racing heart.
You speak to him, asking him if he is okay or if he needs anything.
“You,” Clinging to you, “Can you stay?” Emil is probably going to be in a bad mood tomorrow when he wakes up to you not beside him. For some reason that makes Matthias happy.
“Yes, I can.” Smiling sheepishly, “As long as you want.”
#idv#reader insert#identity v x reader#idv x reader#identity v#identity v x you#matthias czernin#matthais czernin x you#matthias czernin x reader#puppeteer x you#puppeteer x reader#identity v puppeteer#idv matthias
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“Couple of Chaos” : A Kim Namjoon/RM Commissioned Request: Plus Size Reader, Messy Reader
Kim Namjoon x Reader, Plus Size Reader, Messy Reader, Established Relationship
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Prompt: Namjoonie and his partner who is just as much of a mess as him. A darling. A lovely person. Love of his life. But just as much of a chaotic mess as he is, lol.
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“Life is the messy bits.” - Lisa Friedman
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Headcanons: How Namjoon and Reader deal with the both of them being messy as hell.
First and freaking foremost, you’re both disasters
just full on
You’re both equally chaotic
one as bad as the other
and yet ya’ll will get on each other’s nerves so bad with messes
like…. ya’ll both do it and yet when it’s the other person it’s somehow terrible
hypocrites, the both of yuns
that being said, in a way, ya’ll kinda complete each other
Namjoon is a perpetual passport loser right?
And I’ve lost count of how many times he’s lost his air pods
Well, cue…. you
His personal storage locker… or purse. Whichever you want to refer to it
If you carry a purse, just snatch his shit from him and keep up with it so this man can actually board a plane
If you don’t carry a purse but wear a bra, stick it in the boulder holder
If you don’t do either, put it in your pocket for him
If you don’t have pockets then you have bigger problems to worry about that Namjoon-ah and his lack of ability to keep up with his shit
Now, assuming that you do have these things, you do this so often that Namjoon just knows you have them.
Needs chapstick? If you’re in a relatively private company, he just goes into your pocketeses for it
Passport? Ok, so Namjoon is smart as fuck. We get it. However, he do be having some primo himbo energy at times.
Picture this: Airport. Namjoonie lost passport. “Oh, wait a second. I know where it is!” Just turns and sticks his hand in your bra and deep sea dives in the titties until he has found what he’s looking for. Assuming that you have titties. If you don't, well again- homeboy is just deep sea diving in whatever area you're currently keeping his belongings.
meanwhile, the eyes of everyone around him have been scarred and you’ve just been violated in front of the entire airport
he realizes this in about 3 seconds and all he can do is give you that cute dimpled smile
of course he’s forgiven. It’s Joonie. If you don’t forgive him then I’ll be along directly to deliver an ass whoopin'. Let's not play with sweet Namu's precious feelings. He's an angel and a perfectly wonderful person. Fuck with him and you fuck with me. And I have raged stored from the age of three. I am now in my 30s. I have it and I will use it.
so yeah
and going back to ya’ll getting on each other’s nerves
doom piles
There. I said it.
Ya’ll both got doom piles and junk drawers and whole ass closets just full of random crap
and you nearly kill each other over it on a regular basis
“Jagiyaaaaaaaaaaa! Come on! There is a full on mountain of stuff here and you can’t even close this drawer.”
“Namjoon, would you like to discuss the entire guest bedroom full of figurines? Or perhaps, the closet full of books? Or maybe, just maybe, you would like to explain to me why there is an drawer in our bedroom full of baby things when neither one of us has any plans of having children anytime soon?”
“....” *Joon bites lip and narrows eyes
“....” *you lift a brow*
“Alright, jagi. My mistake. You hungry?”
“Yes, I’m starving.”
“Wonderful.” he smirks. “Where would you like to eat?”
Your head slowly turns around.
You narrow your eyes at his smug ass face.
“How fucking dare you, Kim Namjoon?”
And he has the audacity to smirk at you because he knows he bested you cause you can’t decided where to eat to save your life.
Jokes on him though because you just needed a project. It was sorting through your doom piles but now that he’s pissed you off it quickly changed to annoying the ever living hell out of him.
Lowkey though, jokes actually on you because Joon loves it when your fiesty and sometimes purposefully does this shit just to rile you up.
You also know this about him though. Which is why you left the junk drawer open and also why you got sassy.
He likes that you’re a mess and you love that about him too.
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"This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed"
- This is the Stuff, Francesca Battistelli
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Members Reaction to the Deities of Destruction and Disaster:
Seokjin: (A/N: omfg Seokjin you did not have to be so aggressively attractive. And that goes for you too, Namjoon)
Long suffering sigh. The hyung energy is strong here. It’s part frustration and part pure bewilderment as to why, how and what even is he going to do with the both of you. That being said, Seokjinnie thinks the two of you are super cute together. You definitely get scolded but also, he cracks easily because come on. Look at ya’ll. Thanks God every day that Namjoon uses you as his purse though. He is so tired of standing around in an airport, lol.
Yoongi: (A/N: Cue the dreamy sigh. Just look at them. Look at the smiles. Look at the damn ARMS!)
I’m gonna be so for real with you right now. He does not give a shit about the mess. I mean, don’t get his things in a mess but if you roll up in a 2003 lifted Tacoma, open the door and a bunch of shit falls out… I mean, maybe he might give you a little bit of a lecture but honestly? That’s ya’ll’s problem, lol. But also stop losing ya’ll fucking airpods, the both of you. If a bra works then do that because he will not be loaning you another pair ever again. And he refuses to talk about why.
Hoseok: (A/N: Mother of God. I have the fattest crush on Hoseok. Also peep that cute little Kookie. And how DARE you attack me like this, Namjoon?!)
Never in the history of ever was anyone annoyed more by this than Hoseok, lol. However, he doesn’t bitch. Oddly enough, he never complains about it. He never bitches. He never lectures. He does, however, come over to hang out and help the both of you clean your mess. Hoseok is great for body doubling if you have ADHD. However, if you have an issue with him doing the cleaning it might be an issue. It makes him itch and he needs to scratch it.
Jimin: (A/N: It's unspeakable how much handsomeness is in this gif.)
An actual ANGEL for body doubling if you have ADHD and you’re trying to handle the depression hoarder situation in your bedroom. Super respectful and understanding. He just enjoys spending time with his loved ones so he would gladly come help if you want it or just keep the both of you company. Because clearly body doubling does not with you and Joon together. You just make it a bigger mess. Acknowledging this: Jimin finds this chaos hilarious and doesn’t do anything to stop. Ya’ll are wild and unkempt and honestly? Jiminie is here for it.
Side note: I am particularly attached to Jimin in this gif. Look how beautiful. Look how handsome. I swear, that man is dangerous. We are all very, very, very lucky that he's such a sweetheart because don't act like if he asked you for a kidney that you wouldn't immediately start looking for something to carve with . And if that happened to be a spoon, we'd all just accept our fate. Don't lie.
Extra Sidenote: Namjoon be looking extra delectable. *chef's kiss*
Taehyung: (A/N: First of all, damn Namjoon. Those arms. Sweet lord. I'm looking, Joonie. Respectfully, of course..... but I do be lookin. Second, does Taehyung not look like the most precious creature in all the land?)
A precious darling. He does not give a shit about the mess. He just loves his hyung. He loves his hyung’s love. Ya’ll are special to him and that’s how you are. He thinks it is part of ya’ll’s charm and your charm as a couple. Ya’ll are a messy couple but not in the having your dirty laundry out for everyone to see way. In a “aw, Jiminie, look at them. They are such tragic disasters but they’re disasters together.” kind of way. He will find a way to make it romantic no matter what.
Jungkook: (A/N: Just Jungkook out here living his best y/n life, honestly, lol. )
Ok, so here’s the thing, lol. Jungkookie has had his own issues with messes here and there. Also, let's be honest.... he's got the fattest crush on Namjoon, lol. His crush on Namjoon may even rival the crush I have on Hoseok. Like, I kinda doubt it because there ain't much I wouldn't do for that man but still. Jungkook loves him's Namjoonie. He loves all that Namjoon-ah is associated with. He's his biggest fan, lol. With you, it is honestly the same. Like... his hyung is in love? Who is this person that has captured the heart of the most magnificent Namjoonie? If you managed to do that and Namjoon is happy.... honestly Jungkook adores you. Regardless of the hopeless fucking messes that the both of you clearly are. He and Taehyung share this but in addition to this, Jungkookie will literally help you with anything you need. He just wants to hang out with you both so he'll do like his Jimin hyung and either just chill while you sort or he'll help you. Or just hang out in the chaos and not solve anything, lol. He just loves his hyung and he loves his hyung's love as well. It's as simple as that.
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A/N: Thank you so much for reading my content and thank you so much to @alisoncdariel for commissioning this piece! I hope you enjoy it!
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flames of desire chapter 9: care to dance~
Alastor x (f! bunny reader)
your POV:
walking out of my room I head to the table taking a seat, Charlie and Alastor have something they want to announce, as Charlie runs downstairs Alastor comes out of the kitchen holding a plate of Beignets and hands them out to everyone, I heard of them but never tried one. "alright everybody I'm so sorry to wake you all up early but me and Al had an idea!" "I and Charlie decided that-" "We decided that we should throw a party here at the hotel to gain some patrons and you all are invited!!!" "you gotta be fucken with me..." husk grumbles "I could~" Leaning over the table Angel strokes husks chest as Husk pushes him off "Go fuck yourself" "That sounds wonderful hun," vaggie says trying to calm Charlie down. "A party?" "yes, a partyyy!!" "Charlie would like-" "I would like for" Cutting Charlie off Alastor stuffs a Beignet in Charlie's mouth "As I was saying Charlie would like for you all to help clean the lobby and decorate" "cleannnn!!!!! I love cleaning...." niffty giggled creepily. Charlie nods as she finishes the Beignet "well dress up and dance and celebrate!!!!" "that doesn't sound too bad" "Yes yes yes, we have a lot to work on so let's get started"
everyone stood up to gather cleaning supplies, and we spent the whole day cleaning. nifty ran around dusting and killing bugs, husk cleaned the drinking glasses while Angel went to buy food and more alcohol. Charlie and Vaggie went upstairs to the old storage room and grabbed whatever leftover decorations, and Alastor summoned these weird shadowy minions to fix the place up and move the furniture around to create a dance floor.
Once Angel came back we set up the food table, restocked the drinks, and wiped everything down one last time before dragging all the girls upstairs to Angel's room to get ready. "Let go husk my, dear friend, we need to get you in tip-top shape, you're our bartender after all!" "Whatever..."
At Angels Room Charlie, vaggie, niffty, and I had our dresses laid out. Charlie and vaggie picked black and white themed dresses to match. Angel picked a hot pink maxi dress that sparkled with an off-the-shoulder neckline, Niffty picked a little light pink cocktail dress with white lace around the bottom, and lastly, I had decided on a black red short flowy dress.
Alastors POV:
as I watched the ladies run upstairs I took Husker up to my room to get him ready. "you don't have anything to wear do you?" "No, does it look like I give a shit what I wear!" "Hmm, fear not my friend I know just what to put you in" With a mischievous smile I snap my fingers causing a line of green smoke to twirl around Husk, changing him into a Black and white suit with yellow cuffs and a yellow bow tie. "is this some kind of joke..." "doesn't it bring you back to old times~" I chuckle as husk leaves the room with a groan. another snap of my fingers and I change into my best condition red suit and black slacks topped with my brand new dress shoes. combing my hair and tying my black bow tie, I finish and head downstairs seeing the girls already in the lobby talking and giggling.
your POV:
listening to Charlie talk, I turned my attention to Alastor walking down, he had the same suit but somehow looked even better, Charlie rushed over to open the doors for people to join the party as vaggie turned on the music, with time the place was filled with demons, the bar was packed and the food table was swarmed.
sitting at the bar I grab a glass of Champaign talking to Angel "So uh you and smiles?" "what about us," I say trying to hide a grin "Oh come on ya guys have been extra close, he looks at everyone like he wants to tear them to shreds! but not you~" "And your point is" "I think dark and creepy likes ya" I shake my head and chuckle "Your nosey" "Hey I'm just sayin', you guys look good together" Seeing Alastor walk over I sit up a bit "speak of the devil~" angel winks at me and leaves the bar.
"well my dear you look wonderful as always" "You look extra nice as well" "Always have to look my best!" holding his hand out he offers it to me "Care to dance mon cher~" "Setting my glass down I take his hand, he pulls me to the dance floor, slow music playing as vaggie, Charlie and other demons began to dance. he holds my waist as I hold his shoulder and together we sway. "have you been enjoying yourself?" "yes, and you" "If I'm quite honest I'm only here to see you, my dear" As he twirls me I smile "Taking a liking to me?" "oh more than just a liking, you are quite the thief I'll have you know" "Well I suppose it's only fair since you have stolen from me as well~" "Have I now?" "you have" "How about a deal then" "a deal?" "yes a deal, you may keep what prized possession you have stolen from me as long as I get to court you~" "We have a deal" and with one last twirl the deal is sealed with a kiss...
The song ends and Charlie walks to the front of the room for an announcement, vaggie hands her a microphone as demons gather around, "I just want to thank everyone for coming out here and giving redemption a chance, and I want to thank my friends soooo much-" Charlie's eyes begin to water and vaggie takes the microphone "alright hun I think its time to go-" "I love you guys so much!!!" Charlie runs over and gives us all a hug, to my surprise Alastor doesn't protest, giving her a simple pat on the head as she wipes her tears. "we love you too Charlie!" "Now let's celebrate! I think it is time to bust out the big drinks" "Angellll don't get ahead of yourself!" "nah loosen up vagina" vaggie scowls as Angel drags all of us to the bar, husk serves all of us drinks.
I wanted to make this longer so badly but I had severe writer's block, man I need request to refresh myself, it took me the whole day to finish this but I hope you all still love this chapter and wait for some upcoming spice ;) have a good day/ night love you all!!!
-squerlly
@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz
for more content and chapters click this masterlist
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I’m Detective Archibald Shitpope. There’s only one thing I care about more than solving crimes: inexpensive Toyota hatchbacks.
The big boss upstairs has been tired of my incessant browsing of Craigslist at work for a long time. I get results, though, and no one else in the precinct comes close.
So when a murder case came across my desk, I did what I always do. Press F5 and see if anything under $2500 has been posted.
It took a long time to load. The precinct has shitty copper T3 back haul, and it’s always being wasted on stuff like crime scene streaming and live tracking of serial killers. That’s when I took a look at the case. And it shocked me. The murder occurred at the docks. The docks? That’s where JDM cars come from.
In dick school, they tell you that every murder has means, motive, and opportunity. There’s something else, at least for me. Toyotas. I carry a vintage トヨタ shift knob in my pocket, a sort of good luck charm. And, in contravention of department policy, my investigating car is a hammered-to-shit 2002 Celica GT (non-S) with bad ball joints, enough mileage that the digital odometer flickers in disbelief when I turn it on, and a case of sassy diff syndrome.
When I got to the scene, it was what I’d been dealing with for most of my career. A murder. I didn’t need the uniformed dipshits with their unreliable, smoggy domestic V8 squad cars to tell me that.
“It’s a classic locked room murder, boss,” said my assistant Soichiro when I finally arrived. He was born in Yonkers and legally changed his name after his hero, Soichiro Yamada, the guy who invented the cooled EGR system. “The keys are still in the vic’s pockets, so it's a mystery how someone got in there and killed him.” He walked me to a Toyota Corolla II “Windy.”
At once I knew the secret. “Soichiro, you fucked up again,” I spat with some measure of fatherly disappointment. This turbocharged, nearly-top-trim 1987 Corolla II sported the rare and desirable Panasonic parcel shelf speakers. That meant it also held the remote unlock feature, hugely uncommon for the Showa era, so much so that it would never be documented outside of the sales brochure, and certainly not in the inefficient and barbaric English literature for same.
“Turn ‘em out, Soichiro,” I ordered, pointing at his pockets, and he knew he had no choice but to comply. On the table before us lay the evidence of his treachery. One Carrozzeria branded remote lock/unlock remote, and - worse - the keys to a 1988 CR-X. He’d been on the take this whole time.
Later, the aforementioned uniformed dipshits would find something even worse on a search of a storage unit registered to my "partner," Soichiro. Four single-slammer D16 ZC engines, all matching serial numbers to the cars that went missing after the big tea house shootout in Chinatown. I’d been off that week, trying to find a replacement lift actuator, and Soichiro had filled in.
I don’t carry a sidearm. I don’t need to. I simply waited until Soichiro took flight, fleeing across the parking lot of the warehouse, and hit him with my car. Bent the upper radiator support, which the department bodyshop took care of since it was "in the line of duty." Fixed the headlight tabs, too. That probably cost Uncle Taxpayer a few cents.
I got a lot of heat for it later, from the chief, but the mayor overruled him, gave me a medal for valour. She was alright. Had a late model Tercel back home, I knew. Coupe, though, had a trunk. Politics is about compromise.
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What's one of the weirdest things someone has asked your help on? You must get a lot!
Weirdest, hmm. Well, I've mentioned it before but my specialty when I was in active field work was first-contact investigations. I'd get a lot of folks, both in our community and outside of it, who needed help and this was their first brush with the Office or any kind of extranormal authority.
I guess a really weird one that comes to mind is in....god, ‘02, I think. I was a Junior agent, just starting out in my own. Still pretty young. We had reports of someone going missing in Graceful, Georgia. I often did operations in the South there, being from Virginia (it's still the South!) so I was sent. I met up with the local Special Smiles teacher, the closest thing to an Office liaison in the area. She said one of her teachers had gone missing, and due to her closeness to the extranormal, we were called.
After a few days of the normal routine - checking UFO flight patterns, cryptid migration changes, coordinating with the local lycanthrope packs, I came up empty. Until I got a tip that someone had heard crying down in a sewer system. Should I have called for backup? Probably! But I was naive and headstrong. And thank god I had my sunglasses.
Turns out it wasn't just a sewer - as I shined my light around, I realized this connected to a series of tunnels, probably from Prohibition, or worse. I saw the Mother's Hand logo down there....hopefully it was as old as the rest of it. I think it eventually led into some old buildings in downtown. But I did hear the crying.
My first thought was, of course, an ectoplasmic entity. I approached cautiously, and saw a figure, stark grey. I froze, but it didn't move. I got closer and realized it was a statue....but not just any statue. This was one wearing modern clothing, impossibly detailed. A woman, an older woman. I knew what I was dealing with immediately, and put on my sunglasses.
I followed the crying further, and my hunch was correct. I saw a small boy curled up in an old storage room, behind some barrels. I called to him and he saw me. "Go away!" he said. His mane of snakes hissed at me, and he kept his face hidden. Luckily my sunglasses were enough to protect me from the glances he couldn't help himself from making.
I stayed in that dirty old bootlegger basement for hours. A few hours of me just...talking. Trying to get him comfortable. He did start talking after a while. Said his name was Alex. The woman in the next room, she was the teacher I was looking for. It was an accident, poor kid. He didn't have control of the petrification yet. He'd already killed two dogs and a person and he was scared out of his mind. He was going to be in trouble, be arrested, and he'd rather just starve in that basement.
After a lot of convincing, he let me wrap my jacket around his head. It took a little for backup to get there, so...well, I took him to McDonalds. I mean we went in the drive-through while he kept the jacket over his head, anyway. Eventually I handed him over to Office Extranormal Child Services. He gave me a hug before he left. He was a minor, so for privacy reasons I never learned what his story was. Gorgons are uncommon even in their homeland - no idea how an orphan ended up in Georgia, of all places.
I hope he's alright.
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The Cop I Own part 2
Officer De Luca settled nicely into the role I gave him. Every night after work, he quietly slips through the back and stands patiently at my side until I address him. I always have the guy begin the night by scrubbing the dishes I've tossed in the sink during the day.
It's always nice to see the sink empty again, once he's toweled them off and carefully put them away. He knows where they go better than I do at this point. The cop has been routinely cleaning and organizing my kitchen for me.
"So how was ur day, De Luca?" I call as he scrubs stale food from my plate.
"It was actually pretty long, sir," he sighed, "I was on traffic duty today. It always kills my feet to stand for so long."
I come up behind and give his full rear a smack. He frowns but knows he's supposed to accept it when I touch him.
"Well, I like seeing you on your feet," I sing in his ear, "You aren't trying to say you want to relax, are you?"
"Of course not, sir," he replies tersely, splashing the dish into the soapy water.
"Good. Go ahead and take the trash out when your done."
"Yes, sir."
I watched while my policeman carried the trash to the curb, nodding a polite hello to my neighbor across the street. Officer De Luca had caught stares from just about everybody in our edition.
Suddenly having a cop around piqued everyone's interest. I caught a few of them staring in confusion as he did all the housework while I watched from the porch. I imagine they think we are just a strange gay couple. They probably assume I nag at my partner to do the chores the minute he gets home. I guess their assumptions aren't that far off.
Ultimately, they only gossip about our arrangement. I'm sure they honestly appreciate the presence of having my policeman around. He's kind of like the ultimate guard dog.
"Alright, De Luca," I say as he gets back in the house, "Go ahead and clean the house from top to bottom. I'm calling it a night."
I watched him get started with the windows.
This was at least the third time he'd wiped them down this week. I've never lived in a house with such routine cleaning, but I've come to expect certain things from him the second I wake up. If my shower doesn't have that lingering smell of cleaning chemicals or the floor isn't shining with polish, officer De Luca has to redo it before reporting in at the police station.
He'd already been an hour late once before when he forgot to have my clothes ironed and laid out for the day.
It kind of takes him a long time at night to get all these things done. I have no idea how late he stays up, but he always downs a few cups of coffee before hopping in his cruiser.
I don't feel guilty about the long hours. I made him sell his house a couple weeks ago and invited him to sleep in my basement. I'd only allowed him to keep the necessities when he moved in. He carried all his weight sets down and hung his uniforms in the storage closet.
I had him sell the clothes he didn't need for work. I like seeing my cop in uniform, so that's the only thing he really wears anymore.
Laying in my bed, I can here the distant hum of a vacuum, lulling me to sleep. I already couldn't wait for him to gently wake me up with breakfast in bed...
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I'm Better
Five x Wife F.Reader (Superspeed)
H.C
Summary: To say she was like him was incorrect, she was better. She was smarter and she was definitely faster. Meeting at the commission was only the first step that led it all to blossom into some form of chaotic love- but not listening to his wife -as usual- proved he's dumb as hell.
Powers: Superspeed
Genre: Fluff
Requested by: @whoreofscience
To say Y/N was an easy person to get along with was an overstatement. She was extremely smart- a genius some would say- but was extremely stubborn. Oh, and she had certain powers that made AJ from the commission pull her out.
Therefore, the girl who ended up in an orphanage after her parents had died in a car crash was approached by a weird fish on top of a man's body that appeared in her room. Naturally like any other child in an orphanage, she decided to run away, but unlike any other child, she ran back at him with a bat. All done in under a minute.
It was safe to say that he had to put up a fight before trying to explain to her how she was special and he was here to take her away from this place;
"Then adopt me like a normal parent you bowl head."
"My, my, such a tone for a young lady."
"I'm still holding a bat freak, and I ain't afraid to kill a fish."
"I know, but you should know that no one would give a little girl under the care of a fish."
"Hmmm..."
"You have a gift Miss Y/N, and I can polish it for you."
"What do I get in return?"
"A place to call home."
"Do I look like a sap to you?"
"Alright, what would you like?"
"Books. Unlimited access to knowledge."
"I think we'll get along really well."
That was how at the age of 7, she became his student. He would train her to fight, test her limits- pushing her to the edge. In return, he'd let her choose where ever and whatever to obtain if it categorized as "knowledge". At the age of 10, she had asked him to let her visit the Library of Alexandria.
"But child, that was burnt, you know you can not take anything from that place."
"I won't, give me a week and I'll read through the whole place. Super speed remember."
"I'll think about it."
"I'll do the endurance test."
"A week in Alexandria it is."
By 21 she was officially the top member of the commission, smarter than everyone else, stronger than everyone else, and way faster than everyone else. That is word of a new recruit began to spread, a gifted young man brought in by the Handler herself- Y/N knew this was nothing more than a competition between her and AJ, neither of them had any sentiments towards the people they had brought in. Yet, she felt the urge to go and check out how special this a** really was.
To say their first encounter was ideal would be an...overstatement. The first time he laid eyes on her he felt the world stop, literally. She was the most beautiful creature he had seen, yet he felt the urge to smack that (mind you, metaphorically) smug expression off her pretty little face as she zipped past him- invading his safe zone.
He had been hiding in the storage room, he didn't have any cases that day, but as usual, the Hander was UP HIS A**. Hence, he chose to work on the math in a place where the horrendous would never come. He was glad he was alone, the twenty-one-year-old could finally get some work done- that is a gush of find almost flipped him off his seat, sending his papers flying. Sitting straight, confused af, he looked around the room, there were no windows here and the weather was nothing but sunny a while ago. Before he could stand up he heard a,
"The working is wrong."
Then another blast of wind swirled his swivel chair, at an unimaginable speed, forcing him to blind a meter away- his footing weak as the spins messed with his balance.
"Ah, spatial manipulation I see...neat little trick" someone whispered in his ear, as a reflex his arm swung in the direction, only to hit nothing.
He heard a chuckle, head whipping in its direction as he glared at her with eyes filled with rage, ready to kill.
"I'm Y/N"
"I don't care, leave before I swat you like a fly, roadrunner."
"Ouch." She feigned hurt only to run around him spinning him for a second before he blinked away, forcing her to stop, utterly confused as she looked around the empty room. She was about to leave when she was pushed forward to the ground. Her face was about to hit the ground, eyes clenched shut as she braced for the impact, only it never came. Opening her eyes she saw that she was no longer in the storage room but outside in the garden. Squinting at the sun she huffed, muttering a "Sneaky little bastard".
Naturally, like any sane person who was trying to avoid a conflict, she did the exact opposite. Swooshing back into the storage room, zipping past everyone, papers flying, skirts being pulled down by screaming women, she slammed open the door, only to find him sitting in the same place where she had initially found him.
"Hey, you little-"
"I'd love to entertain a brat like you, but I'm currently busy."
"You can't find the mistake, can you?"
"I'll kill ya if ya ain't gone by the next 10 seconds."
"PFFFT"
That was how the two met, the day their paths crossed, the day Five realized how much he hated knowing someone was as smart as him- if not smarter. He had no issues with her, other than the fact that she would not stop irritating him. Any moment of peace that he got was when he was on a mission, at the commission she'd be everywhere, it was like her sole purpose was to piss him off.
Whenever he'd make his coffee, setting the mug on the table of the office kitchenette, his mug would be stolen every time he'd go to get a spoon. Every damn morning. If he would be walking down the hallway, she'd zip past him, almost knocking him off his feet, laughing when he'd hear her curse at her- often threatening to kill her. On one particular occasion, he was in the library looking for a few books, as soon as his hand would reach out for a specific book, a gust of wind would come out of nowhere and the book would no longer be in its place, he'd look down the aisle and see her holding the book, "Oh? You wanted this? Well, first come first serve, I guess". If anyone would ask Five about her he'd usually respond with a 'To hell with the Roadrunner, gonna use a mallet on her one day.'
He never did though, he'd claim to be irritated, but he'd entertain her little games almost every day. He wasn't sure why, but the sight of her having powers made him feel a little less lonely, not that he appreciated her torment. In all honesty, he was just studying her, to beat the enemy one must first know the enemy- not saying that she was a threat, but according to the Handler, everyone who worked directly under AJ was the enemy.
She had suggested that Five should give the girl a taste of her own medicine, to some extent he agreed, and he sure as hell was going to, Five Hargreeves lost to no one, but his plan to blink her to the center of the Earth was put on pause after a specific event.
He had come into his office late at night, his mission had been boring and extremely long- he was mostly tired, wanting to go home and cry himself to sleep as usual. But the sight of her in his office made him sigh in frustration, he was in no mood for games tonight;
"Why are you in my office?"
"I needed help"
"Listen race car, I'd love to help you out but I'm busy"
"No, Five seriously, I need your help."
"And?" He asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "why exactly should I help the commission's brat?"
"Well...because..." She glared at him before huffing, "Whatever you're too stupid to help out anyway" and zooms past him.
And for once at least for a moment, he felt like he won, it was nice to see her all angry and frustrated. Whistling he walked down the empty corridor only to stop at the office where they had all the briefcases, grunting in frustration before opening the glass door;
"What the hell are you doing?"
"None of your business blinker."
"Nice one"
"Shut up, I'm too busy to insult you right now"
Leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, tilting his head,
"Busy committing a felony?"
"Busy trying to collect material for research"
"That research being?"
"Hey, what's your last name?'
"What?"
"Last name? Do you not have one?"
"It's Hargreeves. Why?"
"No reason"
She hopped off the shell and looked at him, patting the briefcase, running past him in a flash after having the final say as usual;
"I don't discuss business with whistleblowers."
"What?' utterly confused he turned around to look at her blurry image, oh, so she had heard him whistling, stupid chipmunk.
It was safe to say the next day Five was called in by the handler to answer a few questions as to why he had checked out a briefcase in the middle of the night to go to a random city.
"I what?"
"It's checked out under your name -Five Hargreeves, now dear, we don't use the bag for personal errands."
"...I am aware."
"So you did not use it?"
"No, but I'll sort it out."
With that he had gone to find the little maze rat, blinking into her office. There was an urge to yell at her, but the sight of her sitting on the floor surrounded by books and a mess was something he did not expect to see.
"Care to explain"
"I couldn't do it."
"Do what?'
"One was unethical and stupid, would've messed up the timeline" she groaned and kicked a book before standing up and going to a chalkboard, reading the numbers, "And the suitcase was useless because I need a stronger energy source for the calculations to be accurate- this junk is like only 20% of the real deal"
"The real deal being?"
"Your powers."
He scanned the room, the calculations, and the work was much similar to his, he was actually amazed by the fact that someone else in the world had the same, he was about to compliment her until he saw a date on the board, next to coordinates- no way in hell was she,
"Were you going to do what I think you were?"
"You mean to stop the car crash, then yes. I was but when I arrived last night a few hours before it I realized how stupid I was being- but that's not really why I took the briefcase."
"Then why did you?'
"If I tell you, you'll tell on me.'
"I won't."
"And I should trust a blinker light?'
"Lisen speedy Gonzalez" he blinked in front of her, glaring down at her, who was glaring back up at him, "I would like to leave with a mess I created FOR MYSELF- I do NOT want to be dragged by a roadrunner knock off."
"A WHAT?"
That was it, a conversation that could have flown smoothly was then converted into a horrible battle, between the two across the commission. He would blink to a different place every time she'd shoot, and she'd speed off when he'd blink behind her to stab her.
"STAY STILL"
"WAS GONNA SAY THE SAME THING TO YOU"
Whenever one had the upper hand the other would slip away, to say they were injured would be an understatement. Je broke her arm when she was running away, instantly blinking beside her, grabbing her, and blinking her into a wall- the impact was bad enough to emit a crack from her bone and a small yelp from her. In return however she was about to break his nose, for when he blinked away thinking he'd won, he turned around only to be smacked in the face by a bat she conveniently found.
It was safe to say the horror only ended when the two were bloody and out of juice. Panting as they stood at opposite sides of the handler's office, glaring at each other.
"WhaT's the matter? OUT OF GAS?'
"FUNNY was gonna ask you that, you desert rat"
"I HATE YOU FREAK"
"THE feelings mutual"
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING@?"
"HE/SHE STARTED IT."
As a result, the two were partnered up indefinitely, as a punishment, much to both's displeasure.
Nonetheless, after a whole year of bickering during missions, taking each other's kill, they slightly got the hang of it. Often one would distract while the other would kill, and vice versa. This 50/50 deal was the only way the two could complete missions without one feeling useless, while the other did all the work.
Somewhere down the line, Five realized how she was like him, she was impulsive and impatient (more than he was), but she was smart and calculative. She would never rush in like a fool, she'd wait, she'd observe then go in for the kill. Kind of like a tiger. Mind you he had no other interest in her, after missions their ride back to the motel would be filled with silence.
Until two years in of their partnership, they were coming back from a mission, the date was the same date she had written on the board that he had read- minus the year- and out of pure habit he asked,
"Mind telling me what you were trying to do with the briefcase?"
"Needed to know how it works"
"Why?"
"Feeling nosy today, aren't we?"
"Perhaps."
"Tell you what, I'll answer if you answer too."
"Fair enough-"
"How did you end up in the Commission Five? they don't just bring in anyone."
"Didn't I ask first?"
"Did you? Hadn't noticed."
"Alright, ya cheater- I time traveled my way to the apocalypse at thirteen, lived alone till 21 until the Handler recruited me."
"So, that's like...8 years alone."
"Wasn't alone, I had Delores."
"Oh..." No, she was not jealous at all
"Your turn."
"I needed the power source so I could configure this, I was going to dissect the case, then I looked at the watch and I guess...I kinda let my feelings take over for a while" She pointed to the wristwatch she was wearing, it was a man's wristwatch, an old faded one.
"If it makes you feel any better, my mom sold me to a rich billionaire who created a band of traumatized heroes."
"I'm...not sure that's supposed to make me feel better- psycho."
"Psycho, I'm not the one who let a fish bowl adopt me."
"HEY! I DID THAT FOR MY OWN REASoNS."
"Which were?"
"For my thirst for knowledge"
Giving her a side glance he parked the car, "That all?"
"And food that didn't taste like garbage. Not that you'd know what that's like, you were bought by a billionaire-"
"And we're done for the day."
"HAHA"
That conversation was probably the start of something new because, after a month of asking each other such questions, there was a weird bond formed between the two, one that neither wanted to address. But she'd notice how he'd casually brush his hand against hers while walking, or the time his chest was pressed against her back when he reached to the top shelf to grab a mug for her.
Not like he had it any easier. His ears would pick up each groan that would leave her lips when she'd be frustrated, murdering the paper with the tip of her pen. How her laughter would make the room a bit brighter, even if it was after insulting him- this was confirmed when she insulted his tie, laughed at him, and ran out of the bar, he could see how all eyes were on her.
Naturally, neither wanted to act upon such trivial feelings, both having different goals in mind. He had to go and stop the apocalypse, and she wanted her watch to travel like the briefcase so she could ditch the commission and travel across time at her own pace and will.
By thirty the two were nowhere near their required answers, frustrated and exhausted, Five threw another ball of paper at the wall. They were done with the mission, which was why he thought working on her wristwatch issue would be easier than his own work- now don't get him wrong, he wasn't doing this because he liked her or anything, he just thought it was easier to figure out and she was just dumb. So when the door swung open and she rushed in with a crate of whiskey he wanted to ask her if she was in her senses.
"Tonight we drink"
"And what is the occasion"
"I was adopted by a fish bowl."
"Ah, I see."
He'd kill for a drink right now, which is why he gave in to her request.
Unfortunately, drunk Y/N and drunk Five were not the best combination, turns out the a**hole within both surfaces and things go downhill really fast after that;
"Wait...this is..work MInE" she slapped the paper on the table, turning to glare at the...two Fives before her.
"Yeah- was doin' it for ya dumbass."
"DUmB? mY Ass is anything but DUMB you sociopath."
"Ohh, the pretty girl finally got somethin' right..." he groaned, he was about to take another swig of the bottle when his world turned blurry, hair tossing around with the speed at which he felt the soft mattress. Blinking away the blur he glared up at her, "This counts as harassment."
"So does staring at my butt."
"Tis' nice to stare at." With that he grabbed her collar and pulled her down, their lips only an inch away, "I win" he smirked before flipping them over, hovering above her, amused by her petrified expressions. He knew she didn't doubt him, nor was she afraid of him, but the thought of him winning against her was going to torment her for years.
Before she could come up with a snarky response he kissed her, making sure to have her squirming beneath him but blinked away when she began to respond.
"WHAT THE F*** FIVE" hissing she sat up, watching him scribbling on the paper, completely lost in thought.
"Shut up, I think I found the solution"
"By KissING mE?"
"Yeah. Imagine what other questions could be answered if we fu-"
"NOPE" she zoomed out of the room.
It was safe to say that the next morning, both parties woke up hungover like anything.
"CloSE thE SUN" she hissed, burying her face into something warm and soft, sighing in contentment until that something pulled her closer and as a reflex, she kicked it off the bed.
"MOTHER FU- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
"ME? WHY ARE YOU IN MY BED!"
"YOU'RE IN MY BED"
"Oh...Well, why am I in your bed?"
"The hell do I know, last I remember was you trying to touch me without my consent."
"What?" she spat out, sitting up to realize she was in fact in his bed, the room was littered with several bottles and for some ungodly reason, she was wearing his shirt, while he was dressed in his old man pajamas. As guilt was about to hit her and she was about to apologize, the words stopped right at the tip of her tongue, "I- WAIT YOU KISSED ME FIRST"
Nodding in return he walked over to the table, flipping pages to find the one in which he wrote the solution, pulling it out with a grin, "Solved your equation by the way-"
It was snatched out of his hand faster than light could travel, as her eyes scanned over each number.
"A thank you would be nice."
"Five...."
"What?"
"5318008 is not the answer"
"What do you mean??" he snatched it back from her, frowning and wondering why he wrote those numbers because last night he did this he made a discovery.
"My friend, turn the paper upside down and read the numbers."
Following her request, he squinted at the answer before groaning in frustration.
"Guess you were thinking with your d*** and not your brain last night."
"Shut up."
After that night, the two were a bit more open with each other, after she had made him swear never to work on her equations again- no need for more of her body parts to be written down in numbers. Although he agreed reluctantly, he had to admit that he had begun to show her a more, soft side, one that he didn't even know he had- it wasn't his fault though, she'd just end up doing things to him, kissing his cheek when he'd get her coffee, holding his hand while walking around the road during a mission, snuggling closer to him.
There was another realization between the two, a more sad concept that the two had discovered, the lack of attention and love had left them clinging to each other. Which is why, as soon as that hit her- she began to block him out again. She had simply refused to show any kind of affection, she'd say it was nothing, but he wasn't a fool, nor was she. It began from demanding they sleep on separate beds, to having breakfast either before he did or after he did, the rides back from missions became silent again, and every time he'd ask she'd just brush him off. It got worse when he finally asked;
"Y/N, what are we? You've been avoiding me for a while now if I've done something to offend you... I mean I know I've been busy but so have you and-
"Friends with benefits, how about that?"
"No."
"Five, I'll become a liability to you and you for me and I don't want that okay!"
"Listen to me Y/N, it's okay to be afraid-"
"I AM NOT AFRAID"
"YES, YOU ARE" He slammed the brakes, turning to look at her, "Stop.Running.Away."
"Make me." With that she ran out of the car, faster than she had expected, which she only realized when she stopped under a random tree, completely dry. It had been raining cats and dogs, yet, even after running across an entire field, she was dry as ever- 'Note to self: emotions affect speed' She was about to run away further when a flash of blue stopped her, gripping her wrist.
"Five, stop I-" pausing when her eyes met the hurt in his forest green orbs, swirling with untold feelings.
"Please, Y/N, I- you're not the only one who's out of their comfort zone," he whispered, hoping to God she'd stay and not pull away again. Honestly, he'd usually catch up to her when she'd run, but tonight, her blur of a frame was too fast for him to blink to, he hadn't even realised she was gone till after a solid minute.
"Five...I can't- I don't want to feel that way again..."
"You don't have to feel alone, grieve for your parents but don't suffer alone- suffer with me."
"...was that supposed to be romantic because."
"Oh for the love of God, you just love ruining the moment."
"Why? were you going to propose to me or something-"
"I was."
She was about to call off his bluff but he let go of her wrist and blinked away before she could, leaving her standing in the rain.
"...FIVE YOU BETTER BLINK BACK- HE's MAKING ME RUN TO HIM, I SHOULD'VE SHOT HIM IN THE FACE LONG AGO"
Either way, when she reached the car, he was standing outside, rain dripping off the tips of his raven locks as he smirked at her. A very unusual proposal because before he could get down on one knee for her, she punched him in the face, earning an 'I regret nothing, woman.'
Hence, the secretly betrothed couple continued to live their lives in the commission until they had figured out the solution- well Five had, but she still said something was off.
"Five, I think the decimal is wrong."
"Woman. How long have we been married for?"
She looked at her husband, sitting there in all his grace with a fedora over his balding head and that mustache she had tried to shave off many times at night but he'd always blink away.
"Around 28 years"
"And if I ask you, in exchange for those lovely 28 years to trust me, to have the slightest OUNCE OF FAITH IN ME" he growled, pressing the tip of his index finger and thumb together, "This much trust would do wonders, darlin'.
"You realize your fingers are touching-"
"I AM AWARE THANK YOU."
So the two stood at the portal staring at it. She wasn't supposed to use the portal though, she told him she'd use the watch with th3 same equation, even though he had insisted they go through the portal.
"I'm using the watch Five."
"What if it doesn't work"
"Please we worked on it together, we're like basically a genius duo."
"I'm serious, love."
"Then...then I'll wait for you to come and get me."
With that she grabbed him by the collar, quickly kissed him, and pushed him into the portal, watching it fade as she sighed. By the heavens she hoped for her watch to work, if not, her plan B was to make sure he can stop the apocalypse and she'd end anything or anyone from the Commission within a blink of an eye.
Taking a deep breath she remembered what he had told her to do;
*3 months ago*
"Count till 3, then press the button alright?"
"You realize I'm not an idiot-"
"But you're reckless and...I care about you."
"Sheesh, a married old man blushing as he tells his wife he cares-"
"Okay goodnight " he turned around in bed, turning off the lamp as she laughed, running to his side to turn it on then back in the sheets before he could react.
*Now*
She did as he had told her, counted till three, and pressed the button.
"Shit" he hissed looking around at his siblings before entering the kitchen. They watched him make one sandwich right after the other:
"Exactly how hungry are you?" Allison asked only for him to snub her,
"It's not for me. Now, what's the date, exact date?'
"24"
"Of what?"
"March."
"So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?" Luther finally stepped in, "It's been 17 years."
"It's been a lot longer than that."
"Where'd you go?"
"The future. It's shit, by the way." he paused before thinking about Y/N who was still not there, "She should've been here by now."
"How long were you there?"
"Forty-five years. Give or take."
"So what are you saying? That you're 58?"
"No, my consciousness is 58." he sighed, irritated by how long this was taking, "apparently, my are now 13 again- shit, she'll kill me" he sighed as he heard something outside.
"Who is she?" Diego asked, staring at the psycho.
"She's my-"
"FIVE YOU SON OF A B****"
A blur zoomed into the room and Five was slammed into the wall, falling to the ground, coughing in pain.
Everyone standing in battle stance now (minus Klaus, who was covering Vanya) stared at the back of a little girl visibly shaking in anger as he hissed, "THE DECIMAL"
He stood up slowly, pointing at the woman- girl- feeling accused, "Why WOULD YOU DO THAT-"
"OUNCE OF TRUST MY ASS"
"I don't think it's appropriate for me to comment on it anymore, considering we're kids-"
"Who is this Five?" Luther asked, pulling back Diego who looked ready to kill, there was no need to murder a child.
"This is Y/N Hargreeves-"
She runs out of the room before he can finish his statement, sighing he continues, "She's my wife, and she has powers like us."
"Aw~ you married, never thought anyone would marry you-"
"Klaus, I'll kill you."
She zooms back in, scaring the shit out of everyone except for Five, he knew what she was doing, this was a stupid power move, much similar to his blinking around, everyone to intimidate them. Placing two paper cups of coffee she looks at Five:
"Conclusion, the sugar and caffeine rush increases the speed by 94.32 % unless more than three donuts are consumed with a mug of coffee. Adverse effects would be the excelled heart rate and the after-effects of the rush, possibly leading to one or two of the following;
1)Instant fainting
2)Vomiting
3)Urge to use the washroom
4)Heart attack
Five grabs a cup and watches her go, enjoying how everyone else is freaking out, he'd be lying if he were to say it didn't turn him on when she'd do that- well he wouldn't say that now because they were thirteen- again.
She zoomed out again, speeding in back to the kitchen, this time in someone's uniform, stopping by Luther she poked his arm before humming to herself, then taking a knife from Diego's hand and throwing it at Klaus' feet, watching him squeak and yell "HEY,"
"Super strength, Target Manipulation, powers related to voice also categorized as manipulation, and let me guess, you don't know what your powers are?" She stared at the siblings before chugging down her coffee.
"You forgot about her." Alison taunted only for her to shake her head,
"No, I didn't, she's normal- hence, only permanent factor, unchanging at least for now."
Throwing the paper cup away somewhere Five stood up, looking around, "Well, then, if you're done with your payback for me placing the wrong decimal, shall we go?"
"I'm not done with you."
"Of course not." He grabs her hand and blinks them away, leaving everyone sitting in the kitchen in silence.
"What the f***"
"Hey...did anyone notice how he just married a female Five?"
"I feel harassed."
It was safe to say it took a while for the siblings to get used to her, at times she was worse than Five, probably because she was always eating something sweet, even though he'd tell her multiple times not to.
"STOP"
"Stop what?"
"Didn't I say no more sweets?"
"You also said to trust you, how'd that work out for us."
"Let.it.go."
"Can you two please stop arguing, as a single dad I am highly offended at my upbringing"
"Five, please I'll just run in and get the records instead."
The siblings noticed how chaotic the couple was, they never really took no for an answer, and each was always trynna one up the other, but one thing was clear, as Deigo said after he placed a drunk in his bed, next to a drunk asleep Y/N that Luther had gently placed on the bed.
"Damn...if I got a woman, I'd get one like that one."
"One that ends up drunk?'
"No, Luther, you idiot, one that goes to hell and back for me."
Luther looked at them asleep, she was hugging his arm, face pressed against it, they looked, peaceful.
"I guess you're right."
But when the two fought, they were ready to slit each other's throat, this was something the siblings witnessed. It was when he blinked them back to the mansion, letting her hand go accidentally, which led her to fall, landing on her wrist, shattering the wristwatch. Let's just say when Deigo and Allison reached home, they found the place to be a mess, Pogo running to them and telling them about the fight. They ran to the main room to find Five blinking around the place,
"I SAID I'M SORRY"
"I DONT WANT YOU SORRY YOU A**, GIVE ME HIS WATCH BACK, I WANT MY DAD'S WATCH BACK" she was screaming at him, running around throwing things at him, barely missing him each time.
The fight only stopped when her emotions got the best of her, f*** teenage hormones and the caffeine wore off, she crashed into a wall, falling to her knees as she sobbed loudly, rubbing her eyes furiously. Five had blinked in front of her, sighing as he got down to his knees, hugging her close, whispering how sorry he was, how he'd fix it for her (even though he knew she was perfectly capable of doing it herself).
Luther and Allison believed that the couple was more destructive than lovely, though Klaus disagreed, as he said,
"Five like a challenge, that sociopath would eat up and spit out any weak s/o, no, he deserves someone who teaches him how love is soft like a chicken's butt but as strong as Diego's skull."
When they were about to time travel again, with an unconscious Vanya she looked at him, mouthing "63" then they teleported, only problem, as they were split up and she had ended up with Klaus.
Five on the other hand almost lost his mind when he realized another apocalypse was on its way after he met with Hazel. As soon as he was at Elliot's he saw a photo of her and he felt a bit better, knowing she was still there and safe.
Cue, her rushing into the place, pushing everyone out of the way to stop and foot away from Five, smiling at him like an idiot, "Hey there, lover."
"Wait, are you two a thing?" Lila asked from the couch to which Y/N glanced at her and then made a face;
"Who got little miss teapot on board?"
It got worse when they went to see the Handler, the fact that Lila was working for the Handler had Y/N laughing like an idiot;
"Boy, she has a thing for collecting psychos"
"Darlin' you ain't any different from us."
But when they were told to kill the board, that's when things got messy,
"Oh and Y/N dear, I want you to bring me back AJ, not Five. It has to be you."
So, yes, she did stare at the man who had saved her from that hell hole, watching him beg for his life, but before she could swing the bat, Five grabbed her hand and blinked her to the garden, much like he had done the first time they had met.
"FIVE" zooming back inside she found him putting the fish in a bag of water, 'Let's go."
When they didn't show up on time, let's just say Y/N didn't take it lightly.
"ARE YOU ALL THIS STUPID BY CHOICE? YOU CAN'T MEET A SIMPLE DEADLINE? 6 TRAUMATISED KIDS WHO WENT THROUGH HELL, YET YOH CAN'T GRASP THE CONCEPT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS MATTER OS?"
"Easy Y/N" he placed a hand on her shoulder as Allison,
"For your information Y/N, we have important things to do as well-
"NO, YOU DO NOT. YOU HAD ONE JOB, LAY LOW, BUT DID YOU? ALL OF YOU MESSED WITH THE TIMELINE? DIDN'T YOU? AND WHAT'S WORSE IS I HANDED MY FATHER TO A DEATH SENTENCE FOR YOU PEOPLE AND I...." she stopped talking as it hit her, she really had given AJ to the Handler, he really was dead now.
"Y/N" he whispered trying to calm her down before she swat his hand away, "No, I'm done Five. You said you wouldn't let it happen again, I just lost my family.." Her voice cracked as she whispered, "again". Before he could console her she ran away, leaving everyone a bit too guilty as Five blinked outside to see where she had run off to, though he failed.
This is why he decided to go with plan- F, which stood for F***
"Luther, I need ya to be my spotter."
"Your spotter?"
"Yeah."
Cue them meeting the elderly couple, Y/N stared at Luther then at little Five. "What the f***"
"Hey, there lover, where's your husband."
"He went to pee, so shall I kill you before he arrives or after?"
"Actually, doll I'd like to have a word with myself" he gave her a weird grin.
(눈‸눈) "Let me guess, you got the decimal wrong"
"Ounce of trust, love."
"Who is this?" Older Five asks glaring at Luther and Five.
"Our secret love child."
Cue the paradox psychosis hitting the psychos as Luther walked beside an older Y/N. She was much calmer than the Y/N they had seen.
"Tell me, boy, do I die in the future?"
"What- no, no, Ma'am nothing like that...hah..its..uh complicated."
"I see, does he" *points at kid Five yelling at a man about how he wished he could pull off those shorts, "Still love me?"
"Well, I wouldn't call it love I mean...you guys are..weird? But I guess it is love according to Klaus"
"Well, that's- EEE" She squeaked, hands going to her butt as kid Five marched past her, "Stop flirting with my spotter".
"FIVE YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO AN ADULT - OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY DID HE JUST SLAP YOUR -"
So, when the Fives actually break out fighting, Y/N just stands there, casually watching them as she checks the time on her watch. Luther loses his mind as he tries to stop them,
"Y/N STOP THEM"
"No, I'm good, plus the loop has to complete itself."
Hence when older Five is thrown in the portal, the younger one turned to look at Luther and Y/N, groaning at the sight of the wrecked suitcase. At this point he felt like it was all pointless, even this didn't work out and-
"Five?"
"What?"
"Why am I mad at you?'
"How the hell did you know that"
"Would've been here otherwise."
"Well dear lover, much like now, I proved to be useless to you, got you stuck in a child's body, trapped in time, followed by an apocalypse and broke your dad's watch- true husband material."
Luther watched the exchange quietly, he had never seen Five so...distraught- no, he looked disappointed in himself. That's a first. And like the softie, he was expecting her to show his psychotic brother some form of kindness- or so he thought;
"Man, you f***ed up, huh?"
"Thank you Mrs.Hargreeves, I wasn't aware of that."
"Well, time to go then- oh wait" she reached for her pocket, taking out a small diary, "Here, also, Five don't beat yourself up, you just learn TO LISTEN TO YOUR SMART WIFE".
As she disappeared with the blue flash Luther stood there, utterly confused about the chaotic exchange, only to realize that Five was actually smiling to himself, staring at the diary.
"So uh, what now?"
"Oh we're screwed, Luther."
After their horrible supper with their father, Five comes back with little to no information, only to go to the rooftop of the building. Leaving all his siblings in Eliot's living room. Opening the door he saw her sitting by the edge, legs dangling off as she looked at the cars below.
"Hey" he muttered, sitting next to her.
"Hey."
"Feeling better yet?"
"I can't control my hormones, which means I can't control my emotions, which means I cant comtrol my speed- Five, I've lost control of everything. I'm not supposed to lose control of anything I-"
"I slapped older you's a***"
"....what the actual f***"
"You were getting too comfortable with Luther"
"SO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BEING A PERVERTED OLD MAN?'
"Perhaps it does, who cares, she's my wife, not yours."
"That makes no sense."
"Well, does anything? I got you this by the way." He showed her the diary, smiling when she took it from him and kissed his cheek.
Nonetheless, nothing had gone according to plan, and now they were called terrorists, they were cornered at Sissy's farm and before Five could blink, his wife had pushed him out of the way of being shot, falling to the ground, coughing up blood.
"NO"
He winced at the pain in his abdomen, glaring at the Handler who only smiled wickedly at him,
"To think I gave you a second chance Five, and you ruin it for her-" she turned the nose of her gun to Y/N who was barely holding on to the string of life, but her eyes burnt with pure hatred as she glared at the woman.
"I enjoyed killing your dad" with that she shot her a few more times, the bangs echoing around the barn along with Five's scream. His trembling hand reached to touch the hand of his wife that lay limp beside him, hollow eyes staring at him.
"You take something from me Five."
"I'll take away everything you love-"
She gasped, turning around to see that she had been shot.
Then it hit him, seconds matter, much like their father had told him. And as he went back in time, blinking to grab her gun before she could shoot and watching her die, he called it off before throwing his weapon down. Y/N taking the other man's gun from him and throwing it somewhere in a blink of an eye
So they sat there with a suitcase, saying their final goodbyes, while Five and Y/N sat on the porch, staring at the mess.
"Damn..." She muttered, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry" he 2hispered to her, "I almost let you die."
"But then you fixed everything, you always do, that's why I trust you."
"You do?"
"Yes, this much," she said pressing the tip of her index finger and thumb, much like he did back in 63, forcing him to let out a chuckle.
Things were going to get better, they were going to go back to 2019, and everything was going to be okay. Or so she thought because as they stood facing the sparrow academy she groaned internally.
She ended up punching the raven-haired lady in the face, knowing Five was out of his trance, he was kissing the air;
"That better have been me."
"Trust me, my tongue was down your throat"
"I take it back, I don't trust you."
"Kinda late for that now, isn't it love."
"All because of a bloody decimal and male ego."
"Fair point- but, we've got other things to worry about my little roadrunner."
"I swear I'm retiring after this."
"*WE* are retiring after this babe."
💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
A/N: I might have liked this idea a BIT TOO MUCH. @whoreofscience , I hope you like it!
TUA Taglist: @imaginesfire , @placidpluto , @achingwoundforaheart , @esmaada , @samyourneighbor , @xuenihao , @whoreofscience , @navs-bhat , @yuuki4646 , @simpformoonkight , @crowleysqueenofhell ,@anapotatowriter thank you, you lovely people for choosing to be part of my taglist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚)
#five hargreeves#five x reader#five hargreaves x reader#five x y/n#five x you#ben hargreeves#diego hargreeves#tua x reader#klaus hargreeves#vanya#allison hargreeves#tua five#tua fandom#the umbrella academy spoilers#five fluff#fluff#angst#five#superspeed#speed#fem reader#wife reader
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Hey sorry to disturb you but can you write about reader trying to delete genshin because they couldn't download the update but for some reason they couldn't? The self awares are desperately trying to stop that. I wanna see the chaos and angst 😈
HEY GUYS LOOK
🎉MY FİRST ASK!!!🎉
İ feel even happier than a certain bard in wine festival--
İ was gonna send it earlier but i felt lasy to open my computer and draw ;;
Also im sorry if somethings don't make sense i used translator for some parts cus english isn't my main
More under the cut!
Reader deleting genshin
You took a frustrated sigh, another error, you wondered how many you've gotten in the past hour.
For some reason, your favorite games update is taking a bit long, crashing midway or giving an error that causes the download to restart again.
İnternet isn't giving much answers to you either. You tried almost everything you could try, to opening more storage space to deleting your game photo file, and at this point, you were growing desperate.
İnside the game, your characters were worried. You certainly took your time, they knew it was profably not too much of an issue and you were just busy. But for those who grow anxious EVERYTİME that you grow late, like Zhongli, Jean and Ninguang, it was a diffrent story...
Why are you late? İs everything alright in your world? Are you abandoning them? Did they do something not to your liking? Were their damage low? Will you log in faster if they do better?
Not knowing what you think or what happens in your world is killing them, they need to see you, HEAR you, so then maybe... Maybe you'll see them as well.
What took you so long? They need you...
When Buer was born, the first thing she could feel is how grass felt on her knees as she sat down, how flowers smelled like a dream and how vibrant everything was! She seemed to know everything, remember everyone and understand everything at that moment. While knowing nothing at the same time! How curious she was at everything she saw and felt!
But at the base of it all, she knew where all of this was created, she knew you.
She could only feel gratefull to you for creating such a wonderfull world, the world where countless travelers and artists fell in love. After all of the feelings she felt about you and your world, how could she say no when the Archons asked her about what they can do to meet you.
She wants to show people how perfect you are!
"Might as well delete it. Maybe that will fix all my problems?"
This was the first thing they heard you say. All of the Archons froze in their places.
Delete? What do you mean? Why would you.. no.. how could you?!
First person to finaly stop the dead silence in the area was the god of freedom, Barbatos.
"Delete it? Are they talking about... No that can't be! They love us! They said so themselves!"
"Barbatos-"
"They won't do it! İ KNOW they won't! They're talking about another world! Or, or..."
"what is.... İs that... Paimon? The travelers friend?" Buer looked at the big canvas (Or perhaps a window to another world). What is the meaning of this?
"Barbatos are you seeing what im seeing..?" Spoke up the god of contracts. Pointing out a big picture with some words on it, and on the picture there was...
God of justice looked around, and saw a triangle looking white thing fly across the artwork that is displayed infront of them.
Their thoughts were cut short by the sudden feeling of emptiness and screams they can feel from their followers.
Buer fell to her knees with a scream, it sting, it hurt to breath, the very feeling of the things she hold near being tore apart broke her heart and her core.
She felt the trees get reduce to nothing, something big and dark swallowed everything,
She saw her people, her first followers, trying to protect their nations with everything they got,
General Mahamatra moving people away from the empty, dark spaces to 'safety', Dancer Nilou helped him with controlling a huge crowd,
Forest ranger Tighnari's situation was worse, he tried to stop the hatred from spreading even from plants,
the academia has just Heard of all of this but the unforgiving wrath of the creator was too fast, Buer felt their followers' bones get crushed with force and skins get stretched in impossible ways. She died with her followers, countless times, but all she could do was watch as you took away the world she fell in love with..
"why are you angry? Why are we the ones that are suffering from it? Do you hate us that much...." Was all of the questions that she wont have the time to get them answered.
The second to grow affected was morax, before reaching out to help his friend he instead fell to the ground, he was... Crying.. he could hear and feel his peoples painfull cries and prayers for him. And yet he couldnt move, couldnt breath, what is this power? İs this what it feels like to suffer from his gods wrath?
He worshiped you the longest, she knew about your presence the longest so... Why?
He saw xiao, trying to keep the void from reaching wangshu Inn, by nearby monsters, weapons, ANYTHİNG to stop it from reaching the öne place he could call home. Some of The things he threw didnt got deleted and stayed in that position, but some were stuck mid air.
He saw liyue, as ninguang tried to stop the void by sacraficing the jade Chamber again, it got deleted and everything was destroyer before even reaching to the ground, including people.
"How could you do such a thing? Were we not enough? Even so, we didnt deserve it, no, They... They didnt deserve it. Please hear our prayers, they dont deserve to die your Grace, not like this... Please not like this"
Beelzebub tried to run away, to her own people, but was stoped by the god of natlan, what is the point? İt is in ruins now, it cannot be saved.
Her knees gave up as the harsh truth hit her, she promised her people a dream, a dream that their nation will reach eternity, live longer than gods and all the nations combined.
She saw yae just sitting near the shrine and enjoying tea, perhaps she didnt knew, but she doubted that she would do anything if she even did.
Kujou sara and sangonomia kokomi joined their powers to make sure the losses were minimum, but before they could even begin the plan...
She lost everything once again, what did morax say about you? How kind and forgiving you are? İf it were the case, why would you take everything from her for the 5th time?
"....i have failed.... Them..."
Before all of the gods got to the ground with a burning feeling accross their chest and their body, the god of justice turned to the painting of you and put her head on the ground,
"Your highness please, please forgive us and our followers for our sins, if the fault is ours we will pay it with our blood, but please... Don't take your anger from us, your followers, please dont destroy the world please PLEASE WE BEG OF YOU-"
"İt is futile...." Buer managed to speak, pain worsening by the second "they... c- cant hear us without.... Without the aid of our own world..."
"They're praying to us.. to THEM! We have t-to do something!!" Barbatos screamed, he was always there for his nation when they realy need it, he won't let it be the first time he wasn't!
He can feel the Tevat strugling to breath as all plantlife and elements are being corrupted.
He looked up from where he is, at your painting, you helped his people once, made them live another day, he was eternaly gratefull to you for it.
But why? Why are you taking back what you once gave without even thinking? İs this all a game to you? Do they even matter to you?
He listened to his followers last thoughts, they too were asking the same.
"All of them gave up their freedom for you, for you to explore this world to your hearts content. What made you so cruel to them?" Jean asked while trying to protect the last citizen of Mondstadt, despite her invisible limbs she kept on fighting nothingness, even if that meant angering you further.
They screamed untill their throaths bled, trying to get your attention in anyway possible, but you weren't paying them any mind. You were busy looking at another painting.
Untill they.. stoped.
.
.
.
.
.
As the deletion bar almost filled up, all of their pain seemed to vanish. Asking themselves;
Why... Why were they here?
They wanted to protect someone? Some... People? But how?
As far as they can remember, its always been them alone.
They were sad and angry but why? They cant even remember anymore.
As the last archon stood there to look at you, they could only say nonsense that theyre not even sure what it means;
"i hate you, creator"
-------------------------------------------
.
.
.
.
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Quick scetch of the currently known archons being traumatised BC of us ;; (i always delete my game and re install BC of the update oop-)
Mfs trying to confort you about it but was too stuned to speak
#genshin sagau#i honestly feel bad for my characters now#sagau#sagau brainrot#sagau x reader#self aware genshin#genshin x you#genshin isekai#genshin impact sagau#sagau cult au#genshin x reader#genshin impact venti#genshin ei#genshin nahida#genshin zhongli
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