Kill Your Laziness : Mastering Productivity - Motivational Speech Video

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this important scene between koito, tsurumi, and tsukishima at goryokaku (chapter 295) was greatly changed in golden kamuy volume 30. the volume version is above. i decided to translate and then analyze it.

EH scans translated the magazine version of the manga as it was being released, so they haven't done this version, to my knowledge. and VIZ hasn't gotten this far in their official translation yet. so neither of my main sources have done it! that's why i'm translating these pages. i don't know if anyone else has translated this. if someone has, then you can look at their translation AND mine and compare them if you want. (and you can send me a link to their version.)

i want to show you the magazine version for comparison. this is the translation by EH scans:

you'll notice that the page count increased by two for the volume version. you'll also notice that the first and last pages haven't changed at all; i only included them for context because that's the whole scene.

while reading the raw manga, i had intended to check on one of the lines in this scene to see what it said in japanese and compare the translation. the line in question was the one where tsurumi talks about entrusting things to splendid koito. but that line is completely obliterated in the volume version, and i can't find the raw magazine version of this particular chapter, so i'll forget about that forever i guess. it doesn't matter because it's not canon anymore.

now, because i love koito and tsukishima so much, i went to the trouble of typesetting these pages with my own translation. so i'll include them here for your reading pleasure, and THEN i'll go ahead with the inevitable overanalysis in terms of translation and plot significance.

(i typeset it clumsily and also committed the vile typesetting sin of not using an all-caps font. but paint 3d didn't have any all-caps fonts, okay?? i'm very lazy! i'm not gonna go download a font just for this. also i didn't really need to do the first and last pages here because nothing changed and EH scans translated it just fine, but for the sake of completionism, i did them anyway.)

so that's my translation, and you can just read that and walk away if you want. but i'll write a lot more anyway.

line by line translation notes

in order of speech bubble, by page. a slash / indicates a split in a compound speech bubble. a double slash // indicates two separate speech bubbles in one entry. transliterations are rough and not based on any real standard of romaji.

PAGE 1

raw: 月寒あんぱんのひとがついた甘い嘘… transliteration: tsukisappu anpan no hito ga tsuita amai uso… EH scans translation: The tsukisappu anpan person ended up telling sweet lies... my translation: The sweet lies that the Tsukisappu anpan person told... notes: it's a sentence fragment. it makes you think there's going to be a second part to the sentence, but there's not. because there's not, to avoid confusing the reader, EH scans turned it into a full sentence. that's fair. my translation is more literal, so i didn't turn it into a full sentence, but it doesn't sound as good... i guess i didn't need to retranslate this one if it doesn't sound any better... let's move along.

PAGE 2

raw: あなたは嘘をつきすぎて / 嘘で試した人間の「愛」しか本物と思えないのでは? transliteration: anata ha uso wo tsukisugite / uso de tameshita ningen no [ai] shika honmono to omoenai no de ha? my translation: Haven't you lied so much / that you can only believe someone's [love] is real after you've tested them with lies? notes: "love" here is "ai" 愛. it's the same love that tsurumi talks about with his judo teacher when he talks about inspiring love among his soldiers so they will actually kill instead of pretending to kill. it is not "koi" 恋 romantic love, but it is love in the broadest sense.

raw: 鯉登少尉! transliteration: koito shoui! my translation: Second Lieutenant Koito! notes: no translation notes, but tsukishima's face did get slightly altered, and the speech bubble has wavery edges now, and dramatic motion lines were added. it's an emotional exclamation!!!

PAGE 3

raw: 中央から見ればここにいる者たちは全員 / 政権転覆を図る反乱分子です transliteration: chuuou kara mireba koko ni iru monotachi ha zen'in / seiken tenpuku wo hakaru hanran bunshi desu my translation: From Central's point of view, all of the people here / are insurgents plotting to overthrow the government. notes: seiken "political administration," tenpuku "overturn/overthrow," hakaru "to plan, to plot, to strive for," hanran "insurrection, rebellion," bunshi "member(s), element(s)." this isn't the first time we've heard the phrase "hanran bunshi." in chapter 78 (volume 8), shortly after tsukishima kicks him and then yells at him for killing maeyama, ogata uses the phrase to describe tsurumi's men. i think a fair translation of "hanran bunshi" would be "rebel faction."

raw: 勝てば官軍負ければ賊軍 / この戦でなにも得られなければ transliteration: kateba kangun makereba zokugun / kono ikusa de nanimo erarenakereba my translation: If you win, you're in the right. If you lose, you're in the wrong. / If we gain nothing from this battle… notes: the first line must be an existing saying, because when i searched zokugun on jisho.org, it brought up that first sentence word for word as one of its example sentences. so i made that the translation, word for word... you know, cos it's an existing saying... plus it's nice and concise...

raw: 我々は軍の裏切り者として裁かれる transliteration: wareware ha gun no uragirimono toshite sabakareru my translation: …we will be judged as traitors to the military.

raw: 私たち親子がここまで来たのは / 自分たちの選択ですからどうなっても受け入れます transliteration: watashitachi oyako ga koko made kita no ha / jibuntachi no sentaku desukara dounattemo ukeiremasu EH scans translation: The fact that my father and I have come this far… / That was the choice we ourselves made, so I can accept whatever comes of it. my translation: My father and I have come this far by choice. / Whatever happens, we will accept it. notes: i learned the word sentaku 選択, meaning "choice, option." it is different from sentaku 洗濯, meaning "laundry." also it seems that this line was not changed in the volume version; it was only moved around. that's why there's an EH scans translation for this entry. i would say their translation is slightly more accurate, but i'm happy with the concise way i phrased it.

raw: だがもしもの時は部下たちを中央から守るために… / 私はあなたを… transliteration: daga moshimo no toki ha bukatachi wo chuuou kara mamoru tame ni… / watashi ha anata wo… my translation: But if circumstance demands it, in order to protect my subordinates from Central… / I will … notes: "moshimo no toki" refers to unexpected circumstances. moshimo = what if, toki = time, so it's a "what if time." you could translate it as "if anything happens," and i was about to, but i had already used the word "happens" in the last speech bubble and i didn't want it to echo. so i took a liberty and made it sound cooler. as for the second half of the speech bubble, the literal translation is "i will ... you" and the verb is left unsaid. you can imagine the verb implied would be either "stop" or "kill." this is the pain of translation from SOV word order to SVO word order. also, there were very similar lines in the EH scans version, but because they didn't match precisely and i haven't seen the raws they were translating from, i couldn't be sure that the lines were exactly the same. so i didn't include EH scans's translation in this entry.

raw: 負けるつもりはない // すべて手に入れる transliteration: makeru tsumori ha nai // subete te ni haireru my translation: I do not intend to lose. // We will obtain everything we seek. notes: note that this is 100% different from the previous version where tsurumi tells koito to kill him. he just flat-out doesn't say that anymore. the first speech bubble is easy to translate. the second one isn't, or rather, it's hard to make it sound good? subete = everything, te ni haireru = to obtain. i took a minor liberty by making it a "we" pronoun because i think tsurumi would emphasize that his goals are for everyone's sake, not just his own. and i added "we seek" for clarity. also it sounds cooler.

PAGE 4

on this page, i changed the order of the contents of the speech bubbles to make it more of a cohesive sentence in english.

raw: 「私のちからになって助けてくれ」と // まっすぐにアタイを見てそげん言ってくいやっちょったら / そいでもついて行ったとに transliteration: [watashi no chikara ni natte tasukete kure] to // massugu ni atai wo mite sogen itte kuiyacchottara / soidemo tsuite itta toni my translation: All you had to do was look me in the eye and say, // [Stand with me and lend me your aid,] / and I would have followed you. notes: most prominent note is that koito lapses completely into satsuma dialect for the parts of the line that aren't in brackets. it isn't played as a joke this time; he is not speaking rapidly. tsurumi was able to understand him speaking like this when they first met, and he can understand him now. he says the bracketed part as what he wishes tsurumi would have said to him, and then he says the rest in dialect. "chikara ni naru" = "to be helpful, to be dependable, to stand by (someone)." if taken literally, "chikara ni naru" would mean "become my strength." but to my understanding, it does not have nearly the same intense connotations as the phrase "become my strength" does in english. i think. so that's the part i translated as "stand with me." then, "tasukete kure" means "help me, save me, assist me, support me." gotta figure out which verb makes the most sense in context. it's in the context of joining his team in a military sense, so it implies in the long term, and i think a phrase with a similar feeling that implies a longer term than "help" would be "lend me your aid." so that's how i arrived at "Stand with me and lend me your aid." this is a super important line; i'll write more about its significance down below. one more translation note: he says "massugu ni" (straightforward, frank, honest) with the verb "miru" (look at). so he's saying to "look at me straightforwardly." i phrased it as "look me in the eye" because that's what you do when you're looking at someone straightforwardly. honesty is the important implication (in contrast to sweet lies).

PAGE 5

raw: いくぞ月島 transliteration: ikuzo tsukishima EH scans translation: Let's go, Tsukishima. my translation: Let's go, Tsukishima. notes: could've also phrased it like, "We're leaving, Tsukishima." i have a feeling this line just slipped out of koito's mouth without any thoughts attached to it.

PAGE 6

raw: 月島? // 私の味方はもうお前だけになってしまったな? transliteration: tsukishima? // watashi no mikata ha mou omae dake ni natte shimatta na? EH scans translation: Tsukishima? // It seems you're the only ally I have left, doesn't it? my translation: Tsukishima? // Now you're the only ally I have left, aren't you? notes: tsurumi's use of "shimatta" carries the implication that this is how things have "ended up." a very literal translation could be, "my allies have now ended up becoming only you, huh?" but of course that doesn't sound natural, so it must be finagled. anyway, probably EH scans' version is better than mine. i just wanted to shed a little light on how you can translate the same sentence different ways and both can be right because japanese grammar is so different that there is no single direct counterpart.

plot analysis notes

i think it goes without saying that the changes to this scene are pretty significant in terms of the plot. some reasons are as follows:

when tsukishima calls out to koito in distress (page 2, second panel), it comes after a different line in this version. in the old version, he interrupts a line about koito and his father having come this far. there's not much significance to that except that he was maybe trying to stop koito from saying too much. but in this version, tsukishima cries out after koito's line about testing people with sweet lies. koito has come out and said too much right away. tsukishima is more upset this time because confronting tsurumi about sweet lies would reveal that tsukishima had talked to koito and given away the fact that the kidnapping was a ruse. tsukishima is distressed because he doesn't want tsurumi to think that he is turning on him as well.

new lines show that koito does understand the nature of tsurumi's rebellion against central. honestly it was kind of up in the air before this, given koito's earnest nature and the fact that his high-ranking father would have had to be in on it too. but now we know for sure that he understands. it's easy to look down on koito because he's so naive and emotional, but he's not stupid.

by changing this scene, noda-sensei makes the most of this confrontation, which is koito's last chance to have a calm conversation with tsurumi. (the only confrontation they have after this is when koito yells up at tsurumi on top of the train and tells him to set tsukishima free. but the subject matter is completely different at that time, and the tension is much higher, so that would be no time to bring up sweet lies again.) in terms of wrapping up the unresolved conflict of the kidnapping incident, it's gotta be this scene or nothing. in the altered scene, koito can now say what he wants to say to tsurumi about the kidnapping, make it clear he knows it was a lie, and gauge how tsurumi responds.

tsurumi no longer taunts koito (saying "kill me" when they both know he won't; implying that he would trust koito to carry on his plans because he's just that splendid when they both know he can't). those lines are tossed in the garbage and don't exist anymore. what he now says is short and simple, and it avoids the heart of the matter completely; he ignores 95% of what koito said and only focuses on one aspect (what might happen if they fail). koito hears this bad-faith response and understands that tsurumi will not voluntarily come clean about his lies. that's why he says his emotional next line and leaves it at that.

the line "Stand with me and lend me your aid" (「私のちからになって助けてくれ」) is a very important addition to this scene!!! the reason is that it is the line that koito says to tsukishima in the final chapter! (i haven't gotten there in the raw manga yet, but i've seen it A Lot in japanese fanart, so i recognized it right away.) that later line becomes a callback to this moment! i had no idea! if you had read the magazine version only (and i think we english language readers are all in the same boat in that respect), then you wouldn't have had the full context of that line in the final chapter. it is more satisfying and makes much more sense this way. and this line carries so much weight in both scenes. koito wishes that tsurumi would have earnestly asked for his help instead of tricking him with sweet lies. then, in the final chapter, koito earnestly asks tsukishima to join him by using that same line! it's a complete rejection of tsurumi's "sweet lies" modus operandi! there doesn't need to be any pretense between the two of them! they can just rely on each other honestly and with their whole hearts! (note: EH scans translated that line in the final chapter as, "Lend me your strength. I require your aid." that's good. i like mine better. maybe someone else could translate it even better. i really don't think VIZ will, though.)

tsukishima has an emotional reaction when koito says that. we get a whole new big panel of his face, so that's our cue to think about how tsukishima must feel at that moment. he looks surprised and thoughtful. i think he is impressed by koito's resolve and frankness and the way he made himself vulnerable in that moment by speaking his mind (in his native dialect). he must also be thinking about how this means that the whole kidnapping scheme was a waste of time and caused pain (and cost lives) for no reason. and he's probably thinking about how nice it would have been if tsurumi had said something like that to him instead of trapping him with sweet lies as well. it's a moment where tsukishima is struck by how koito is honest and honorable, and it stands in stark contrast to tsurumi (especially considering the monster that tsurumi has become). this moment helps us better understand why tsukishima sticks with koito at the end of the story.

the following was clear in the other version too, but when koito says it's time to go, tsukishima is clearly turning to follow him (he turns 180 degrees right in front of us). that's notable. first of all, i don't think koito said that and expected tsukishima to follow him in a "you better choose me or him right now!" kind of way. i think it slipped out. tsukishima has become a staple in his life, and he expects him to be at his side at all times, so he tried to walk away with him out of habit without considering what it would look like to tsurumi. on a similar note, i don't think tsukishima was about to follow koito in a "now we're turning our backs on tsurumi forever" kind of way. it was a kind of subconscious movement; he found himself turning to follow the person he really wanted to follow. and there are motion lines showing that he stops moving when tsurumi calls out to him. if tsurumi hadn't stopped him, i wonder how far he would have gotten before catching himself and thinking about how it would look to tsurumi if he followed koito out of the building.

it seems that that after this scene, koito isn't exactly working toward tsurumi's goals anymore. in the last panel of the last page here, he notices tsukishima isn't following him. that's probably when he thinks about the implications of trying to take tsukishima with him, so he goes off by himself. the next time we see him, he confronts fleeing shiraishi and fights nagakura on the bridge. but why is he doing that? maybe because he thinks tsurumi getting the land deed would be better for japan than if team hijikata kept it. it can't be blind allegiance to tsurumi at this point, right? and then a little later (after jumping in the moat), koito sees tsukishima riding away with tsurumi on horseback, so he follows them and ends up at the train. why does koito board the train and fight hijikata? is it still in pursuit of tsurumi's goals? or is it to protect his subordinates on the train, especially tsukishima? it has to be the latter, right? he doesn't do anything explicitly rebellious, but his allegiance to tsurumi is basically gone at that point, and that's why he is able to confront tsurumi in tsukishima's defense on the back of the train car. so in essence, the scene in this post was the final turning point in the relationship between koito and tsurumi. his goal has become "protecting his subordinates (especially tsukishima) from being sacrified by tsurumi."

in conclusion, i kinda wish noda-sensei wouldn't make sweeping changes to art AND dialogue in very important scenes... but i think this change was pretty good.

EDIT: i found out that piduai also translated these pages, and they ended up with a very similar translation to mine for that one important line! yeahh! i've discovered the MVP piduai! i encourage you to compare the translations.

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @dragonsongmakhali and @thefreelanceangel (thanks! I get around to tagged things eventually, lmao)

This isn't in any particular order, they're just in whatever order they came to mind! I'll also note that I've never really understood the concept of 'being in a fandom'? I just...like the thing? So I guess this is more like "A handful of my all time favorite characters, many of whom went on to inspire me to write similar OCs whether I realized it at the time or not." Anyways, I wax verbose on this, so...buckle up, and thanks ahead of time if you decide to read it all!

I'll go through my recent notifications to tag some folks who've interacted lately (also thanks, I've been very ill and out of it for what feels like months now...) @ashenbun, @the-sycophant, @eorzeanflowers, @iron-sparrow, @briar-ffxiv, @merlwybs-wife, @sundered-souls, @superbolided, @ahollowgrave

1. Harley Quinn, Batman

What's not to love? She's quirky, she's (incredibly) smart, she's bi, and she's just one of many female characters I love for being flawed, but better for it! She's dealing with mental illness, and feels like only this one person understands her - and having been wrapped around a narcissist's finger before? I get it. You don't realize they're a piece of shit until...one day you do, or one day your friends get through to you that this is unhealthy, and you're not really yourself around this person. I love that she gets to be her own character these days, and live her own life, and do what she wants to do (when she figures that out) - I actually love that she works more and more with the Batfam in recent material because...she was never a villain. She's always been chaotic neutral! She changed who she was for the Joker, and was always miserable and mistreated no matter how hard she tried to be exactly who and what he wanted (a mewling servant) - and more often than not, even when she did what she thought he wanted, he still punished and humiliated her (like when she almost killed Batman). Bruce has LONG been on Harley's side, and long tried to talk some sense into her...but I think they'd been 'at odds' for too long for his words to get through to her, and it took the initial mutual compassion (and eventual love) shared between her and Pamela for someone's 'get the fuck out' speech to finally sink in. And now she's a fully realized character/woman with her own goals, her own personality, her own style... and if people don't like that she can do crime AND do good stuff alongside the Batfam? They can fuck off - at least, I imagine she'd say that, tbh. It's her choice - she never wanted what the Joker wanted. She just wanted him to notice her. Now she can act on her whims, and live in the moment and live up to her fullest potential! (Plus, while I'm not Jewish, I love that she is! At least in most iterations that I've seen.)

I think 'hurt people hurt people' is another good tagline for her - because the instant she's shown real compassion...be it from Bruce-outside-the-suit, or Poison Ivy? You can see her heart. You can see the sweet, and loving person she is under all the performing...or 'masking', you might say. The tragic clown doesn't need your laughter... they need your compassion. They need you to listen.

2. Mackayla Lane, The Fever Series (I've read this series at least 6 times, and recommend you read it, too!)

Mackayla is a self-centered, pink-loving, girly-girl who doesn't think heavy thoughts - she likes to sunbathe, paint her nails, and enjoy lazy southern days by the pool, when she's not working part time as a bartender. Until her sister is murdered on a trip abroad, and in her fervor to find out what happened - and why it feels like nothing is being done about it - she picks up and goes to Ireland in search of clues her own damn self...and finds out about this whole hidden legacy of the Sidhe, Sidhe-Seers, and why/how she and her sister are tied into this world. It's such an emotional journey! She evolves into someone different a few times throughout this journey of grief, self-discovery, and...eventually, love. She learns to be more introspective, to be more aware of those around her, to look deeper in herself for strength, so as to never be a damsel in distress again - she fights furiously for a sister we never get to see alive. (and I love a good story about a character central to the plot who is dead before the story even begins, tbh.) She goes from someone I'd roll my eyes at, to someone I'd look up to, instead. She learns to be fierce, but not to lose her compassion in doing so. She learns to fight for not just herself, but others. She suffers, and it breaks her for a time - but she comes out of it stronger for it. She doesn't let it hold her down, anymore - she can't afford to, doesn't want to...she wants to fight back.

I love character development, and she's got it in spades...and that's not even touching on all the OTHER amazing characters around her in this series. Also, if you like a spicy slow-burn, this is it. 'Begrudging allies to lovers' is how I'd term it, I suppose. (I still long for a high production value show of this series...especially bc it would appeal to all kinds of people - it even goes post-apocalyptic later on! But not for the usual reasons.)

3. Margo Hanson, The Magicians (The show, not the books, for once)

Feminist icon without being 'cringe' about it - and has a line I love, later on, about how her father told her she could be anything she wanted...until she wanted to be those things. Suddenly, the world wanted her to pick - you can't be strong AND womanly; 'you can't have both,' they told her. And she said 'Fuck You', and did it anyways. She is impossibly strong, but even she feels deeply on the inside. She rarely, if ever, lets it show how heavy the weight of the world is...she just shoulders on, and does the things no one else will do. She stands up for what's right, and now and then she fucks things up, too...because she's only human. But she's never apologetic about who she is. She lives out loud, owns her body, owns her opinions, and the rest of the world better get the fuck out of her way, because she's got a witty one-liner...and a gun.

He's an alcoholic/addict, he's a wet rag, and he's basically the world's best occultist... whether you love him or hate him. (I love bisexuals getting the spotlight in media, so it's nice that he's that, too!) He's a rat bastard who's just trying to get by in a world that's chewed him up and spit him out time and time again - he drinks the pain away, he chases death, and...despite his best efforts, he lives. Because anytime he actually comes close to death, he realizes that it's all worth fighting for, actually - even if he always falls off the path again. Notably, neither he nor Harley Quinn were really supposed to be longstanding characters...and now they're both fully fleshed out people, and a couple of my favorites! I like that he's complex, mentally ill, and still tries to do what's right, most of the time. But the world pushes his hand, and something's got to give, and unfortunately it's usually the people around him who end up paying the price...which doesn't mean that he doesn't carry that guilt for the rest of his life, mind you. But the world itself was saved! ...though he'll never not regret the harm it causes the few people he lets close, and how it then causes so many others to avoid him like the plague, as they assume he's just a shit who will sacrifice his friends at the drop of a hat. He's the reluctant savior. The...anti-hero? I'm not even sure that's right, because he does want to do good. He just... does some fucked up things to achieve that good, because there's often genuinely no other way - and no one else has the fortitude or the know-how to do it but him. So he'll carry that load, so others don't have to. He'll smoke it away, drink it away...anything he has to, to quiet the guilt, and shame of saving the world from the shadows...never being thanked for it, because he doesn't fly around in spandex, or drive a fancy animal-themed car.

4. John Constantine, Hellblazer/DC Comics (An anti-hero I love, a rare bi-disaster MAN in media, and my favorite occultist/wizardy person in fiction, I think...besides Margo.)

Also, his Hellblazer comics are very politically left leaning and he shits on Tories and racists and homophobia, etc. He might hide his pain in ways that make him seem like a piece of shit, but at heart he knows what's right, and that his fellow man deserves better. (Also, it's implied that he slept with/dated King Shark...you go, king.)

5. Dracula, Bram Stoker's Dracula and Castlevania (first the game, then the show) I was obsessed with the book even as a kid, and when I saw the most iconic scene in a video game ever, I was in love with his Castlevania counterpart, too.

Not much else to add to this one - I just think he's cool! I love vampires! I love Mina, as well, for all the strength she shows in the face of almost-certain-doom...but I love a good villain, and Dracula is the perfect villain. Also, it turns out the whole book might just have been one big, gay metaphor from a man in the closet! That's pretty cool to find out, after all these years. I do love the backstory from the film of him being SO IN LOVE with his wife that he cursed God and just...became a vampire. Because 'I fought in your crusades and you let the woman I love kill herself? Fuck you, I'm just never going to die. Now I'll kill all your beloved humans!' Castlevania's backstory is similar enough that I enjoy both iterations of it - a man driven to madness by love, and loss...and in Castlevania, it's not even his FAULT he keeps getting summoned back, which is where this scene below even comes from, which kinda cracks me up. He specifically points out what pieces of shit humans are...they say they hate him, but it's humans who always summon him back to do THEIR dirty work.

6. Taimi, Guild Wars 2

When you first meet her, she's a bobble headed child prodigy, even among the incredibly intelligent race of Asura, with big hair and an even bigger pink bow on her head - who has a terminal illness, and a physical disability from it that makes it hard for her to walk...but it never stops her. Not even once. Commander might be a badass, but they'd be nothing without Taimi's vast intelligence saving the world time and again - and you almost have to watch her die! She loses her favorite mech, which is both a walking apparatus and her best friend, and goes on to lose her best friend/love interest...and the pain never breaks her. She's a literal child, a teen/young adult by current story - and the endurance and compassion and strength she shows are just...making me emotional to even write about. And while she's still alive in story at present (and they've aged her up over time!)... we discussed with her not that long ago in story how she is dying - and she feels the pressure to get as much done as she can before that day. But one day, she won't be with us anymore...and despite all the people that Commander has lost? I'll never be ready to lose my little rat-daughter.

Go play Guild Wars 2.

7. Jaina, World of Warcraft

You meet her as a young woman, in Warcraft - an idealist who believes in peace, and stands against the open, and blatant racism against the Orcs, and the Horde. She strives for this peace so hard that she allows her own father to be executed - and for years, she stands with the Horde, and speaks on their behalf and fights for peace...until those same people go out of their way to not just screw her over, but almost kill one of the only family members she has who accepts her, and steal an ancient artifact that could basically just wipe out the Alliance much like the bomb that was used to wipe out the whole city she was in charge of. She suffers from the guilt of not trying harder to help Arthas. She suffers so...so much guilt, for so many things. She isn't perfect, and she has acted out of hurt, and rage at times - but she grows, and learns, and becomes this whole person comprised of beautiful flaws and complexities. I know what it's like to have your friends betray you, and want to burn it all down. I know what it's like, to need years to come to terms with that hurt. I know the pain of years and years of guilt and self-loathing and 'what-if's'. Jaina has become an amazing woman who has helped people, hurt people, and learned both difficult, and beautiful lessons along the way, to become an ultimately better person who still believes in the rights of all people...just with less of that youthful naivete that got her so hurt and blindsided.

8. Ahsoka, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I put off watching Clone Wars, and thought I wouldn't like how they worked Ahsoka in...and boy was I ever wrong. Finally, at long last, there's a female character who is given as thorough a Jedi treatment as Luke, or Anakin...if not better! I love analyzing the 'family lineage' of which Jedi mentors which, and it's a bit funny how Qui-Gon was a rule-breaker paired with Obi-Wan-the-rule-lover...and then he ended up with a padawan even more about going against the grain, because Qui-Gon was supposed to have 'raised' Anakin, himself - then Anakin ends up with a Padawan in an attempt to teach him about how to move on from loss...because all padawans grow up and move on with their lives, one day - but he ended up with someone just as hard-headed and outspoken and out-going as him, and he got a taste of what it was like to be his master! All that said, Ahsoka grows and develops and learns hard lessons, and...grows up as a child soldier in a war the Jedi never should have been a part of, anyways - and (spoilers) when she goes on to be wrongfully accused of a crime by the Jedi Council...they try to walk it back later by saying 'oh this was clearly a test by the Force and you've passed, hooray promotion'. Ahsoka is having none of it. It's hypocrisy. It's a lie. They can't put their own pride aside, and admit that they were wrong! And why would she want to be a part of an organization like that? That's not a promotion at all. Now she'd be just like them, and that leaves a sour taste in her mouth. (Not to mention other hypocritical things she notices throughout the series.) She goes on to learn to live in balance - not all emotions are bad. It's not about complete eradication of emotion, but learning which ones to cultivate, and which ones to set aside and think on. She learns what the elder (extremist) Jedi will not - balance. She becomes better than all those who came before...even Yoda, who is in her Jedi-family-lineage; he admits that the Jedi are blinded by their arrogance, but he's among them! I love everything about her story...so far, at least. I've got yet more catching up to do with Rebels and the Ahsoka show.

9. Asajj Ventress, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Honestly, I like her for a lot of the reasons I like Ahsoka - they're like two sides of a coin, and I think she even says this to Ahsoka later in the series. But Asajj suffered immensely early in life, and lost two father figures (even if one of them was her kidnapper) - to include a Jedi Knight who was briefly her Master, before he was slain in battle. She was picked up by Count Dooku, and had her pain and hate stoked like a fire...and in time he betrayed her, as well. And still...she went on to be resilient, strong, smart, and a master in her own fields of stealth and assassination. She learned hard lessons, and learned to think for herself - she learned that she didn't need any of those men who had come before, in her life...she only needed herself. Her own wits. Her own strength. Her own intelligence. Much like Ahsoka, she broke away from what others tried to mold her into, and became her own woman... whether people liked who she became, or not.

She's a badass. Watch Clone Wars. Read her books.

10. Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Does this one need a reason? She's an imperfect badass, too! She's a lot like Mac, mentioned earlier - she's girly, but not always. Sometimes it concerns her what people might think of that - being feminine, but strong - but she learns to embrace her strength and ferocity and role in the supernatural world... although not without bucking against the system just like Ahsoka and Ventress do - she makes it her own. She plays by her rules, not the Council's, not her Watcher's...and when she does so selfishly, and screws up, she learns a hard lesson about the wisdom and input of your friends and family, and considering how your choices affect those around you. She decides she will not be a dog on a leash for the Council (maybe she was some inspiration for Ahsoka...) - she's here to do two things: look fly, and kick monster ass. Oh yeah - and empower other young women to do the same.

Honorable mentions for Spike (from Buffy), Lucifer (from the self-titled show), Aurene (GW2), Eliot Waugh (The Magicians), Catra (SPOP)

You'll no doubt note that pretty much all the women on the list are people who suffered immensely/were wronged and eventually grew stronger for that, and overcame both the situation and their own flaws...I love a bitch who can overcome both her own flaws, and the world itself being against her!

after the games

this was inspired by @reecehaswritten ! I saw it and immediately thought of like a million possibilities 

this will be a series, just focused on the hermits (and empires members) coming back to their respective servers after the life games and the lingering effects they might have (the tag for this will be ‘after the games fic’)

also if speech is in [ ] it’s still chat, I just got lazy lol

[grian joined the game]

[goodtimewithscar joined the game]

for the first few seconds, nothing seems different. the base is the same, the surroundings are the same, everything is as it should be. then, grian takes a step forwards and sees the echo of a shrieker. but he doesn’t hear it.

he frowns and whistles to test. well, he thinks he whistles, because he can’t hear it at all. now he’s starting to panic.

grian looks up and sees mumbo outside his base. he takes a running start and flies over to him, almost slamming into the hillside as he screeches to a halt.

mumbo says something, but grian has no idea what it is.

“mumbo, I can’t hear anything.” he’s pretty sure mumbo at least could hear it because his expression morphs to one of surprise and mild concern. “I don’t know what happened, but I literally can’t hear anything.”

mumbo frowns for a second, then his eyes widen and he pulls out his communicator.

<mumbo> you can’t hear anything? like at all?

“no. god I can’t even hear myself talk. I don’t like this.” grian pulls at his sleeves.

<mumbo> did something happen in double life that might have caused it?

grian racks his brains. the red alliance, the hunt for scott, the skulk sensor trap, the ancient city exploration and-

his eyes widen. he was killed by a warden’s shriek.

he pulls out his own communicator, disliking how he can’t even hear his own voice.

<grian> a warden killed me with it’s sonic scream thing

<grian> that’s gotta be it

mumbo frowns.

<mumbo> does it carry over to different servers?

<grian> apparently so

<goodtimewithscar> wait grian can you also not hear well? I can barely hear a thing

<grian> I can’t hear anything <grian> I think the warden made me deaf

<xisuma> hang on, what’s going on? <xisuma> do you guys want to meet at spawn? we can try figure this out

mumbo looks at him and grian nods. it seems like the best option right now, why not?

it’s honestly a relief to see scar looking physically okay again— no cuts or bandages. xisuma looks pretty concerned though, which is never reassuring.

<xisuma> okay, so why do you think this happened?

grian sighs. it freaks him out slightly that he can’t hear it.

<grian> in double life, i got permakilled by the warden’s sonic shriek and woke up here, deaf

scar says something, nodding. he turns to grian and gestures between them, and turns back to xisuma.

<grian> okay I have no idea what you just said

<mumbo> you and him were soulbound so he got the effects but slightly less, which is why he’s only partially deaf <mumbo> but didn’t you say that the damage would be equal?

<grian> oh right <grian> yeah, so the hearts of damage you take is equal, but the physical effects on your body is weaker than the actual wounds

scar makes an ‘oh’ shape with his mouth and nods.

<goodtimewithscar> that makes more sense actually

grian grins despite it all.

<grian> we all look really antisocial right now <grian> just texting each other <grian> this is like a boomer nightmare

and, jeez it’s weird seeing people laugh without hearing it. it’s like someone put the  world on mute.

<xisuma> okay, so we might be able to make hearing aids or something like that for you guys, but i’m not sure how that would work with minecraft mechanics

<mumbo> I can try

grian looks up at him, and mumbo smiles back.

<mumbo> I still don’t fully understand why you play these life games <mumbo> I mean last time you both came back looking like walking dead extras

scar grins. [it was fun though]

grian rolls his eyes. [if you go parading around with another animal each time we’re partnered, i’m leaving you for bigb]

scar laughs. [ah, you wouldn’t] [you love me too much]

mumbo raises an eyebrow. [I feel like I missed something]

grian feels his face flush. [oh nononono you missed nothing]

scar twirls on the spot, his lips moving in what grian thinks is a song.

[oh, i’m sure it’s ‘nothing at all’] mumbo grins.

grian shoots scar a glare. [yes, it is nothing]

scar gives him a sheepish smile.

[okay, so i’ll talk to doc and zed about the hearing aids and see if you guys can work together to figure them out] xisuma looks slightly awkward.

mumbo nods. [sounds good]

[i’ll see you guys later] xisuma equips his elytra, waves, and rockets off.

mumbo whispers to you & goodtimewithscar: so are you guys dating or

“no!” grian exclaims, so taken aback he forgets to use the communicator.

he may not be able to lip read, but grian is pretty sure scar had the same reaction. in any case, his face is as pink as grian’s and he feels as surprised as scar looks.

grian grabs his comm and types aggressively, [we are NOT dating]

he scowls at mumbo, who’s laughing.

[^^] scar types. [what he said]

[now, i’m going to take advantage of this and go work on my farms] grian sticks his tongue out at mumbo and flies off, back to his base.

(mumbo would later find him fast asleep, leaning against his kelp farm and using his wings as a blanket. he’d move grian to his actual bed and make a note to tell him off for not resting after the life games.)

inserting seven black (oc) in the mcu and making her end up with bucky bc i can (vague details bc im lazy)

picrew | part 1

inspired by this beauty (i may or may not have borrowed stolen the natasha friendship (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡) ooh im greedy as hell in this one

✧ Endgame

— she'd be with the rest of the avengers & there'd be a scene where natasha & her tried cheering up as she dyed her hair (my coping mechanism fr)

natasha: let's cut yours short

seven: what?! no way

natasha: why not?

seven: ... bucky liked it long

— she & natasha finds clint in japan who killed as ronin

— she'd come on the time heist with bruce to get the time stone

— a scene of her breaking down crying when clint came back without natasha

— seven notifies yelena about nat and they have their own memorial for her, yelena leaves to be "alone"

— she cuts her hair short for nat and change her uniform as she no longer works for any organization

— included in the "she's got help" scene

— she would be beside bucky and wanda in tony's funeral, holding bucky's hand while wanda leaned on her shoulder

— she will be there when steve goes back in time and comes back as an old man

— there will be a small clip of bucky and seven comforting each other as both lost their best friends

✧ The Falcon and The Winter Soldier

— she & bucky are suddenly in a complicated relationship bc he still cant forgive himself for hurting her in CA:TWS

— she gives bucky his space but she'd've gone to find him again bc the dora milaje informed her that bucky freed zemo and asked if she knew where bucky was

— bucky makes her leave after zemo escapes

— she'll be helping in new york against the flag smashers

— karli gets her and that's when bucky realized he cant bare to lose seven

— bucky saves seven and they watch sam give his speech as captain america

— seven will be in the final ep in sam's hometown with bucky

✧ Bucky

— this is where imma be greedy as a bitch bc bucky will have his own one shots (yk those agent of shields marvel once did? yea)

— bucky and seven's relationship goes even deeper as she helps him truly rediscover himself and the world

— just lil episodes of bucky and seven being domestic bc im delusional

✧ Hawkeye

— seven will see ronin on the news and she'd go after him and think clint was ronin again

— clint and her would find kate bishop and help her from the jumpsuit mafia

— clint will send her to his house to protect his family "take james barnes, will ya?"

— clint calls her the night yelena first comes out clint: someone hired a black widow after me seven: WHAT?! clint: i think it's yelena seven: WHO?! clint: she's blaming me for nat's death...

—she helps in the christmas eve fight and try to get in between yelena and clint

—she stays silent when clint explains everything to yelena

— bucky and seven left the bartons and instead spent time with yelena cause she doesn't want her to be alone anymore.

Final Days of Dian Fossey

The poachers....the gorillas were vaccinated and illegal animals in that forest.....the poachers had to protect the paradise and remove passified predators...

Im from Wisconsin and I recommend that people notice social views of how to make small cow land...as well as treat cows like an agricultural animal so Texas especially if Hindus aren't allowed very large plantations with huge bull edifices stalks me like no other

They have iron deficiencies and their Asian parents just drop them off around me to fix so it's you have to feed her beef

She got called a mental her mother found incest so taboo she probably was over bearing rude lazy and an awful lady to her because of gay phobia

The schizophrenogenic mother appears to be dian fosseys emblem of achievement rude in speech inhospitable short curt won't talk much

Tries to speak beautifully in situations requiring humour and competence awful lady

So Aggie hurst she appears to have murdered the adherents the native peoples told her she could work with.....

Like trungpa rinpoche

Carissa accidentally killed a dog.....so she had to start looking very English....I have severe allergies to dog and I don't view them as native here in bad ways....instead of new and modern....

Racoons....rakunks you don't really have to do anything and there is not poop piles around

And dog like gorilla is something the most raped problems often confess having to playmate with and Carissa had a tribal complex to save the women

She wanted to be queer that way sad to see it gone

Its probably important because the pygmies were so offended by her assumption they let other enemies of her work kill homosexuals of aids....they gave digit to tourists

Uhm constructivism to create the American strength all sorts of appendages can be enlarged and african American women were thought to be the most raped so

She had sex with the gorillas.....took a long time to execute her for hating people

Billy the kidd killed.....pat Garrett finally killed Billy the kidd and his hiding house 100 miles away from anything

Americans though do have really advanced educations and most animal rights activists are noticed having too many problems with disorganized thinking....its that the states knew she couldn't function normally before she went and wouldn't prevent it

They could better fund mental health care and instead inspire programs to run away from little brother don't put that there

Rise of communist China they could get rid of private mentalism for allied triage spaces so people better learn employment in an immersive environ and instead it's torture or torture so

Chicago culture....the Irish figured out underground and how missing bereaved people could understand job instead of their missing culture so it's that simple she could have at any time been deflated as some bartender gang

That's me about pb the peace program there claimed it was our migrant leaders instead of Gwen Moore.....so it's im sorry but these first 20th century environmental emancipations like coka cola still provide better breeding for women because it treats bug bites not these creepy buy his farm.now oat programs

Its Gwen Moore that actually protects his forest

They weren't expediting the homelesses social security issues and getting especially the old into a boarding house that's not how those types of you were bad situations go

I would i would feed all the hungry starving students and not care if land wasn't ranch anymore

Ruth mas with people like Carissa....Carissa digit....

It took like full opening and removal of all 1970s history then a Russian like Carissa could finally go to Ruth mas

Vaccine students you don't like or identify with your teachers though in comparison to indigenous women...

You wanted to drink cheap beer with me and Lauren didn't you

Centuries - READER X AZRIEL -

Thank you everyone who sent me inspiration ideas for this, I was really struggling for some reason.

Prompt - Hi! I was wondering if I could request an azriel x reader where azriel and reader have been together for centuries but azriel finds his mate and is torn between them? You can end it however you like.

____________-

You eyed the line of red across your throat, willing it to go away before the next practice session. You’d been beaten, badly. And by a new Valkyrie no less. Well, Valkyrie in training. The scrawny female had managed to get you on your back within three moves and the wooden sword to your throat in one more.

You could have died of embarrassment.

Nesta had reassured you though, giving you a pep talk after. How many more cheer up speeches could you handle before it became too much? How many years of the same course running and failed attempts at ribbon cutting could you take? You wanted to scream. But Azriel was sleeping, peacefully for once. His shadows lurked lazily around him while he rested. You smiled at the peace on his face. It was rare to see such a thing.

You gathered your bag, gave Az a soft peck on the head before taking off from the balcony.

+

Nesta did not pair you with the newcomer - Neath. Gwyn had been shouting at her from across the ring for picking up a sword before stretching. You tried to hide your smile at that, feeling a bit better about your loss the previous day.

“Fighting stances ladies!” Emrie’s dark voice called over the chatter. Everyone got to their respective spots and began the intro stretches.

+

“I can help train you, if you’d like.” He soothed, rubbing your back gently. “You’re already busy-” Your voice caught around the lump in your throat. You sniffed, trying to pull yourself together. It didnt work. You sobbed into his chest, and let him pull you down into the bed. His wings wrapped around you, encompassing you in a darkness that put you to sleep quickly.

Azriel took it slow the next morning, leaving you a note on the bedside.

“I’m never too busy for you. I’ll meet you at the ring tonight.”

His lazy scrawl warmed your heart. You stretched and slowly got out of bed. You were still sore from yesterday’s session. You didn’t know if you were cut out to be a Valkyrie. You contemplated having Rhys send a message to Nesta that you wouldn’t be there today, but that would mean admitting your failures to more than just Az. You were sure he already knew, but speaking it to him was different than him dutifully ignoring the failure that lived in his house.

+

The seedy bar was a nightmare for Azriel’s clean boots. Spilled ale and who the hell knows what else. He tried not to cringe. The informant was bulky, with a voice that carried too much for a regular meeting place like an alley or street. And he was drunk. He offered ale to the shadowsinger several times, and each time it made Az more and more irritated.

But he left with success, and feeling like he needed to bathe.

Night was approaching quickly when he returned to Velaris. Rhys was waiting in his usual chair overlooking the city from his office in the house of wind. He spun a ball of dark power in his hand, forming it as if it were clay.

“There has been an uptake in recruitment in Spring. No one knows why, only that Tamlin has ordered it.” He briefed.

Rhys hummed his understanding, and the darkness melted from his hand. “If he’s building his army back, he’d better be damn careful about it.” He sighed. “Keep an eye on it. I want him to know we’re watching, too.”

Azriel turned to leave, assuming he’d been dismissed. Rhys stopped him with a word though. “Dont get caught though. Feyre would skin me alive if I had to kill Tamlin to get you back.”

“Thanks for letting me know you’d still kill for me, brother.” Azriel laughed darkly.

“Always will.”

+

You finished the warm up stretches right as Azriel landed. “You’re late.” you tisked, letting him wrap you into a hug anyway. The full moon caressed his cheekbones lovingly, painting him in a deep blue. “Let’s get to work.” He groaned, pulling away from you. “We could work out a different way…” You made a kissy face at him. He shoved the practice sword to your chest with a laugh.

+

He had you begging for a break by the end of the relentless training. “Tomorrow?”

“I dont know if I’ll be able to.” You panted.

“I know you, you’ll be able to.” He helped you up from the dusty floor of the ring and made sure you got to bed safely.

+

He inspected your split lip at lunch the next day. Neath had boldly chosen you as her sparring partner in demonstration. Nesta was on edge, ready to insist on someone else if you’d given her so much as a hint of discomfort. But you had too much pride, and paid for it. She’d spun her sword around and the blunt end of it caught you in the lip, hitting your teeth.

Nesta, Gwyn and Emrie dismissed the rest of the class for the day. Emrie took Neath aside firmly, giving her what looked to be threats of violence more than scolding. Buit the scrawny Illyrian showed no fear for the Valkyrie before her.

Nesta and Gwyn babied you until you insisted you were alright. And you were, your bruised confidence however….

Bruised was underselling it. Decimated, would be better.

You landed without much grace, and let your wings drag behind you, not caring that they stung in protest. It was a welcome distraction from the pain of crude humiliation. You numbly walked to the bathroom, ran the shower water for a few seconds until it was scolding, and started sobbing.

+

Azriel found you sitting on the bathroom floor and immediately knew something was wrong. He didn’t ask a single question until he’d helped you into bed and gotten you a snack first though. Then you let it out, trying to hold back the tears as you expressed your failures to him. How you’d been bested by a newcomer, how you felt unworthy of living in such a nice place, how you felty you didn’t deserve him.

He listened, and when you were done he only shook his head. “I love you. No matter what. And Rhys, Feyre...everyone else loves you too. Nesta wouldn’t have insisted on you training if she thought this would happen. I’m sorry honey. I can talk to them-”

“No. I dont want to cause more… issues. I think Nes is dealing with it anyway, Emrie looked to be too.” You half smiled at the painful memory of her scolding the illyrian earlier.

You knew he wanted to protest, but seeing your eyes struggling to stay open, he let you fall asleep in his arms instead. He pressed soft kisses to your hair, until you were in a deep sleep, breathing rhythmically. Then, he headed to Cas and Nesta’s room.

+

“No training this morning. Emrie and Gwyn have had something come up, and I dont want to handle that many Females alone.” Nesta said around her breakfast. She’d summoned a plate and extra food for you, thanking the house for its gifts. But your stomach didn’t feel like it could take it. You sipped at the tea, not wanting to be rude. You knew your eyes were swollen, and were grateful when she didn’t ask. She already knew, anyway.

“Sorting books today, then?” You asked, hoping your voice didnt sound too hoarse. Judging by her reaction, it was noticeable.

She gave you a small smile though, “No, actually.” She said with a devilish grin. Your heart sank. Nerves gripped your stomach. What the hell else was there to do? You prayed to the mother that she didn’t insist on personal training with her. Not that you didn’t like her, but.. She was different somehow. Harder, more...more of everything really. “We’re having a spa day.” She pulled three small flowers from her jacket pocket and handed you one. “Elain is coming too, I hope that’s alright.”

You stared at the small note, ‘A relaxing day, well deserved.’

Well deserved was damn right. “That’s perfect.” You breathed, the first genuine smile in days coming to your lips.

+

Az was waiting for you when you got home. His loungewear showed off his sculpted body perfectly in the golden setting sun. He set down the book he’d been thumbing through and wrapped you in a hug, taking a deep breath of your scent.

“And what did you do today?” He smiled broadly.

“Nes insisted.” You blushed, pushing back your styled hair. IT had been nice, not having to worry about training or money or where the hell you were. You’d nearly fallen asleep in the mud bath.

“I was thinking…” He began, taking your empty dinner plate. “If you wanted...I could train with you at night. If you don’t want to with Nesta anymore.” He said, not mentioning the title you’d never live up to. Valkyrie. You cringed at the thought of it.

“Maybe…. I dont see how it could hurt if its just us.” You shrugged, at least he wasn’t pressing it. He beamed though, and you knew even the prospect of you going was enough for him.

+

It took you a week. A week of confidence building and lip healing to get back in the ring with Az. Well, by yourself at first. You warmed up slowly, nervously. But by the time he arrived, you were centered in the ring. Ready, prepared for whatever may come from this.. Test training.

He instructed you not as your lover, but as a professional who knew what they were doing. He corrected your posture and showed you examples without the normal ways he’d play with you or crack jokes together. You realized you’d never seen him like this. So….diligently focused on what he was doing. And it was inspiring hearing his encouraging words even when you messed up for the third time in a row.

He even followed your stretches, letting you show him examples of what you practiced in class at the beginning and end of every session.

“I like this one for last. It flexes your-” You stopped. Your cheeks heated at the sight of Neath and her sword on the edge of the wooded path leading up to the ring. Az saw the look on your face, and turned in an instant, bracing for anything.

Azriel didn’t move after that though, didnt say a word. Then, Neath dropped her sword.Your heart stopped. Acid churned in your stomach as Azriel clutched at his chest. Everything moved in slow motion. You shook his frozen shoulders, and he fell to his knees with a sickening thud.

You turned to the Illyrian female, nearly snarling. “What did you do?” You spat, gesturing to Az. He was still frozen to that spot. Her eyes didn’t leave him though. You stalked forward, ready to rip her to shreds if Az was even slightly hurt. Her mouth gaped, but no words came.

Azriel’s shuddering gasp made you turn, and he was backing up, wings flaring. You held a hand up, as if to calm a wild animal. How ridiculous it was didn’t phase you. He was yours. And you were trying to calm him down as if he’d seen a ghost. His words made your stomach sink to a new low, burning deep inside you with strain and worry. “I’m sorry-” He choked out, voice hoarse. He took one last glance between you and Neath, then took off with force you’d never seen.

You turned on Neath, and were ready to throttle her. “He’s-” She got out as you placed your hands on her arms. Ready to shake her out of her stupor. “H-he’s” She tried again. But her pale face remained stuck in the shock of whatever she’d done. Whatever Azriel had seen scared him. Perhaps you should be running from her too.

“What?!” You demanded, squeezing her arms. Her eyes finally darted to yours, welling with tears as she hurt you more than she’d ever done in practice. “He’s my mate.”

+

The vomiting didn’t last long, considering how little you’d ate. You didn’t remember flying back to your room, or how you’d gotten yourself to the bathroom without injuring yourself with the blindness caused by tears.

You sobbed for what felt like days, an eternity. It was a lifetime of tears coming out at once. More pain and sadness than any creature should face. You wondered at one point how much one person could even cry.

Then, the cold numbness of sleep took you. You laid on the cold stone floor and let it smother every aching thought.

+

You scented him before you heard his light footsteps outside the door. He leaned against it, his body exhausted from the flight, from the fighting he’d done just to burn off the rage he felt towards himself. Rhys wasn’t enough. He knew that he’d hold back with him. So he flew to the spring court, where he knew he could find good fighters willing to die for a chance at bringing Tamlin one of Rhys’ Inner Circle.

They failed.

The sound of his voice cracked something more in you, and somehow more tears welled out. You were sure you wouldn’t look normal for a few days after all the swelling from crying so much. You held back the sobs, letting them burn inside you instead.

All you wanted was his voice, the feeling of him around you. Of those shadows sweeping over your back comfortingly. But he wasn’t yours. Not really. Not in the way that mattered. You cursed every damned god and religion you could think of, even the cauldron itself. As if it would change anything. It did make you feel slightly better though.

He started with muttered curses at himself. Then he began a series of apologies. You could hear the hurt, the weakness in his voice In the way he struggled to find the right words at times. You didnt care if he heard you sobbing anymore.

-“I dont love her, not the way I love you. I dont know why… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I-” He sucked in a deep breath and tried to hold back the wavering in his voice. “Please… I know I mean-” He growled in frustration at himself. The sound tore into you. “I know you’re hurt...more than I am but if you’d give me a chance… I’m not going to be with her. I love you. I’ve loved you for what you are since we met. I’ve chosen you, over and over again. Some cruel trick of the Cauldron dosent’t change that.”

Your heart surged at the plain honesty in his voice. At the raw fear and truth that he laid bare. Tears streamed down your face even more than before. Somehow this new razing of your heart was worse than seeing that look they shared in the ring.

“I’m sorry. If you want me to go… just- I dont know, knock or something.” He concluded with a deep breath. He rested his forehead against the door, waiting for something. For anything. He knew you were inside, he could feel it in his very being that you were in there, distressed -because of him- and all he wanted to do was make it right. He waited to hear the dreaded knock. The nail in the coffin of the century long relationship.

There was a soft click, he nearly mistook it for the knock. But the knob turned, and you cracked the door. The red splotches on your face nearly made him fall to his knees. He fought for words, but no amount of words were enough, and he knew it. Your lip quivered.

Without a word to each other, you knew.

You knew he’d choose you. And you’d choose him over anything. Over anyone that would ever be. He was built for you, as you him. And you belonged no matter what a bond insisted on. You shared a bond deeper than any instinct could challenge. You’d chosen each other. You weren’t fated to find each other, and that was what made choosing each other even more special.

You gripped his back fiercely, letting the sobs wrack your body. He held back somehow until you landed in bed together, where you sobbed and grieved together. Where you kissed each other, and wiped each other’s faces over and over. And eventually among the mess of blankets and sheets, you passed out together. Hands locked together tightly. Never letting go.

Golden Kamuy - Kikuta deserved better - 273-276

As I catch up on things, I’m gonna hit the highlights that really stuck with me.  Ogata is able to escape from Vasily using the tactics he observed from the showdown in Barato with Hijikata cutting through random row houses.  He’s seriously gotten into Vasily’s head as he hesitated to snipe aggressively after killing the wrong guy with Ogata’s cloak.

The only worthwhile thing from this continued and seriously a no longer interesting plot point, is getting to see Ogata wiggle under a fence like a cat.

So, I approve of this at least.  My own cat scores this as an 8/10 in cat wiggling.  Minus 2 points for not enough emotion from Ogata’s face.

Thankfully, Asirpa was able to escape with Sofia after Tsukishima gunned down Ariko.  It seemed to me that Koito froze/hesitated during that situation.  Tsukishima had no problem brutally shooting Ariko at point blank while Koito literally just hung back and watched. 

Asirpa is in a state of extreme shock. She just interrogated by Tsurumi to give up the code, watched Ariko be shot and now sees Boutarou’s corpse in the bottle-mobile.  Our girl needs years of therapy - she’s reaching the same level as our male cast members at this rate.

At least she breaks down in tears as Sugimoto tries to console her.  The artwork for this part of the page is excellent, it really does capture the melting of her mind and how she’s realizing how deadly the gold is.

It ties directly back to her argument with Kikuta before all this shit went down.  I’m always giving Sugimoto crap for being a moron, but it seems that he did make the right action by reaching out to allow her to hug his arm.  There is that soft look as he gazes down at her and just lets her be emotional.  It is clear that his presence is a comfort to her as she takes her time before returning to a more lucid mental state.  This is shown by how she opens her eyes and looks up before declaring that they need to meet up with Hijikata since she’s figured out how to crack the code.

Meanwhile, Kikuta rushed Ariko to a clinic to save his life.  Being the father figure/older brother he is, he tells him that it isn’t his time to die; he never made that makiri yet! And to my relief, Ariko wakes up!  Noda didn’t go for the lazy writing of killing of the minor Ainu character, something I was afraid of.

If his father saved him, it means his makiri was where he was shot in the chest under his uniform.  There is a lovely transition about a makiri in a fictional museum that was made by him, implying that he returned home and did make the makiri and likely resolved some of his identity issues, though it was still likely a tough life for him.  Ariko apologies for not being able to work as a spy for Central and really it isn’t like he’d be able to do so anyways.  But he did verbally point out he’s now politically on the side of someone like Asirpa to fight for their culture and right to exist in spite of colonial powers. The middle panel of Kikuta bidding him farewell just gives me the feels.  It is so clear that Kikuta knows he’s toast.  He saw Tsukishima shoot Ariko and Tsukishima likely watched him as he tried to save the man.

The fact that he said a casual line about going to an onsen.  Ugh, death flag for sure right there.  It seems Ariko knows that as he looks forlorn.  Kikuta is that sort of suave man who is going to look cool even though he’s doomed; he’s that awesome.

The action returns to Tsurumi at the church having solved the code.  With Tsukishima gone off to try to kill Ariko, Koito has remained behind.  All of a sudden Koito reverts to his extreme Satsuma accent when addressing Tsurumi in the absence of Tsukishima.  I think he didn’t even realize it at first, just like how after they escaped the fight with Boutarou, Koito spoke normally to Tsurumi without realizing it.

It is clear it took him a moment to realize he was speaking ‘Koito’ as Tsurumi is unable to respond to him and he then panics.  Koito is more than willing to chase after Tsukishima and support him, but Tsurumi instead recalls him.

At first he consoles himself that everything is okay. 

He is trying very hard to convince himself that everything that they witnessed through the keyhole was all an act to get the key!  Yes, it isn’t that Tsurumi doesn’t have some sort of awesome goal and this isn’t about how the death of his wife and daughter left him unhinged!

But the other random members of the 27th then comment on how strongly Nikaido reeks of beer . . . and Koito then thinks about how he and Tsukishima were hiding in the room at the church when Tsurumi ‘checked’ that he was alone.  And then it hits him - they were also played as a part of the ‘Tsurumi theatre’.  Unlike Tsukishima who has whole-heartily given himself over to Tsurumi, it is clear that Koito can’t.

That monologue sounded too good to be true.  He weakly says Tsukishima’s name into the rain as he then thinks ‘No . . .’  The rain is really fitting in this scene, I think it really is a stand in for Koito’s own disappointment and tears in this entire crazy quest for the gold.  Is he worried about his ‘older’ brother figure?  Himself?  Both of them?

He continues to try to rationalize the performance that Tsurumi gave them - even if Tsurumi lied to them, it wasn’t all a lie.  Oh Koito.  I want to give you a hug and pull you away as your little bon-bon-ness has won me over.  Most of that speech wasn’t for Koito, it was for Tsukishima.  Speaking about helping Japan is what Koito would like to hear but we can tell he doubts that as well.  Hence, his waffling.

But then he realizes that as Tsukishima has given so much - all of Tsurumi’s words, even if they were ‘sweet lies’ as he he referred to them on Karafuto, it was just perfect for Tsukishima.  However, Koito has broken the spell that Tsurumi held over him.  The final page of the chapter of Koito looking at the illuminated Tsurumi and shutting the door on him.  It is the exact opposite of when Tsurumi rescued Koito from the kidnappers when in his youth. I now find myself wondering how this relates to the tiger curse.  It is clear that the curse for Tsukishima will not end well.  After he shot Ariko, his eyes regained their sparkle!  Not good, not good at all!  However, have I misinterpreted it for Koito that by becoming disillusioned with Tsurumi he will be cursed to be miserable through him gaining independence from his hero worship of Tsurumi?  The idea that ignorance is bliss, and now Koito is well in the know.  The fact that when he and Tsukishima were sort of on the same page was when he could speak to Tsurumi but now that he’s on a different path from Tsukishima he’s tripped up again.

Chapter 274 finally allows Asirpa to determine the fake skins after what she witnessed with Boutarou in the brewery and thinking about Ainu garments that she figured out that Edogai likely went above and beyond with his fakes.  Thanks money counterfeiting guy from the fake Ainu village for the inspiration.  It is a lot of pages that tie together other plot points nicely but really doesn’t do anything for me as a reader personally.

The most important point is that as Sugimoto falls asleep while Asirpa and Hijikata work with the skins is that we get another flashback - one that links him to Kikuta!

and even more importantly - Hanazawa Yuusaku!  Chapter 275 starts out with an homage to the classic movie ‘Singing in the Rain’.  As soon as I saw Sugimoto spinning on a lamp post, it was obvious.  Yes, small town boy in the big city - causing trouble.  He gets in some sort of brawl with random guys from the army and is ‘rescued’ by Kikuta, who immediately realizes that he’s hungry and decides to treat him to some lunch.

It shows that Sugimoto has a short fuse and is an impulsive youngster.  Really, he is lucky that he didn’t do more stupid shit to get him in trouble.  We can also clearly see that Kikuta is a member of the 1st Division, the Tokyo based one that Sugimoto eventually enlists with.

Kikuta decides that he wants Sugimoto to impersonate Hanazawa Yuusaku and to go on a marriage interview for him.  This is because Hanazawa Hiro, the now identified wife of Hanazawa, is pulling the strings in the background to prevent Yuusaku from becoming a flag bearer.

This then makes us wonder why these two parents have such contrasting expectations for their only son.  It makes me think back to my theory that Yuusaku was a pretty poor solider and lacked any skill or potential.  Long ago, Tsurumi told Nikaido that Ogata is the ‘true heir’ of Hanazawa inheriting his military and [some] leadership skills as he stood on the watch tower in Barato ordering the random gangsters how to fight effectively.  Yuusaku is a disappointment for Hanazawa - he can only save face by having his son become such a symbolic part of the army.

I laughed at the next page where Kikuta confirms that Hiro is colluding with the young heiress to steal Yuusaku’s virginity and thus preventing him from becoming a flag bearer.  I love the posture of the terrified Yuusaku!

However, Hiro’s plan has been found out by Hanazawa and he consulted with the leader of the 1st Division to assist him with resolving this unpatriotic and embarrassing issue.  Recall that Ogata was born as a result of Hanazawa being posted to Tokyo - this implies that he likely became good friends with the leader of the 1st Division during this time.

To prevent anyone from identifying Sugimoto, he’s the perfect substitute for Yuusaku and changes into Kikuta’s uniform.  He’s one of those guys who just has that look.  Sugimoto immediately thinks that since he’s been treated well by Kikuta, joining the military might be a good way to find security - in food.  However, we get a link of the cap to Kikuta and what appears to be his dying younger brother.

Kikuta looks so sad, like there is something unfortunate with Sugimoto’s statement of food.  We don’t get to see his expression, indicating he’s likely hiding his emotions from Sugimoto and instead tells Sugimoto he’s going to have to train him in food etiquette.

He’s presented with some Western cuisine, something that may blow his cover and something that Kikuta didn’t expect as he watches from a tree outside.  But again, due to his extreme luck, he’s able to use nervousness as an excuse and it gives him time to state his family his super traditional so they wouldn’t have eaten food like this.  When he’s removed the cap, Kaneko Kaeko is smitten with his handsome face. He can use his excuse as a way to have an out for not knowing how to eat that tasty ebi fry (why to I hear ‘ebi fry’ in Nyanko-sensei’s voice?).

As she explains the fancy places she’s dined at, Sugimoto thinks about how he was living off of cat food.  Cue another reason why he just hates on Ogata, since he was stealing food from Ogata’s people! 

The rest of the dinner goes well, and Kikuta checks in with him.  Meanwhile, our wealthy heiress is completely smitten with him!

As Sugimoto mulls over the idea of a somewhat arranged marriage as a negative he spills the beans about Toraji and Umeko.  And Kikuta isn’t having any of his bullshit.  I love how Kikuta points out how selfish and downright stupid Sugimoto is being in all of this.  Kikuta gives Sugimoto good advice - which he’s clearly still never followed.

He makes it clear that he’s got to give up on that hometown and move on.  Which will be completely ignored as Toraji will end up in the 1st Division with Sugimoto in the trenches.  I’m now wondering how Toraji and Sugimoto reconnected.  Hrrrmmmmm?  Is this something that Sugimoto encouraged and that’s why he has all of these unresolved emotions about Toraji’s death in the war?

The chapter reveals to us that Tsukishima’s love ended up marrying the cousin of Kaeko, making Tsukishima’s acceptance of her ‘death’ even more heartbreaking as he thought that Tsurumi had lied to him about her fate.  [weeps bitterly]. 

As Kikuta and Sugimoto discuss what appears to be Yuusaku’s lack of a free will, he’s told not to meddle in others concerns.  What does Sugimoto do? The man just can’t keep to himself and he goes and finds Yuusaku to confront him.  He wants to know if Yuusaku wants to be a flag bearer even though it is a death sentence.  How does that conversation go? Just how we’d expect with all of the information we know about Yuusaku.

I love how he’s like it isn’t to meet my father’s expectations!  It is because understand my father’s convictions and fight for my country.  Okay, you keep telling yourself that Yuusaku, but it still sounds like you are doing this for your father, you know tomay-to, tomah-to.  Sugimoto mulls over what Yuusaku would choose if given the choice.  I just sigh as we know enough about Yuusaku’s backstory that the man only does what his father says - with great conviction. All of our Ogata flashbacks have made this so clear, Yuusaku is a doomed man from the moment he entered the army.  Maybe even a doomed man from his birth even.  Perhaps, he’s acutely aware of this, but based on how freakkin’ awkward he’s with Ogata and his older brother actions, I continue to think he’s not the brightest bulb in the pack and can only be used as a patriotic pawn.

Yuusaku then becomes suspicious of Sugimoto’s line of inquiry and realizes that he’s got Kikuta’s cap.

Not sure how to respond, he runs away and we learn that Kikuta’s younger brother died of illness during the first Sino-Japanese war.   That same war that killed Koito’s older brother and that Tsurumi and Tsukishima fought in as well. With the statement of illness, I know what most likely killed Kikuta’s younger brother - malnutrition - specifically beri beri.  As the Japanese military rapidly modernized using European models, they ran into an issue with many soldiers and sailors dying of some sort of mysterious illness and it wasn’t something that impacted the Westerners at all.  Most of this has to do with the ability to eat white rice which was much more processed.  It made it more expensive, but was nutritionally bad for men who came from lower incomes or poverty.  Remember how stoked Asirpa was when she ate white rice all the way back at the herring fishery?  If anyone has read “House of Five Leaves” by Natsume Ono, you’d know the protagonist is a poor ronin and he falls ill due to beri beri.  The solution was to return to the countryside/hometown to eat a more diverse diet.  For a more detailed explanation of how bad this was for the Japanese military check out the video by Linfamy on youtube here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzIBpFDRr5g

The video even highlights the fierce (and counterproductive) competition between the Army and Navy which has already been well defined through Koito’s backstory. The chapter ends with Sugimoto dropping the cap and the polite man who picks it up for him is Tsurumi with Ogata, Usami and Tsukishima in Tokyo. The plot thickens . . . somehow Sugimoto got mixed up in the business of the 27th and apparently Tokyo isn’t a vast city that you can get lost in and everyone knows everyone.  Like how I was on flight to Saskatoon and the man next to me started up a conversation how he was from Burlington and went to Guelph and my friend who I was going to visit was also from Burlington and went to Guelph it is a small world kinda moment and in agriculture.  I digress though.  Things are starting to pull back together but I’m still not 100% on with this plot direction/story arc.

{+18} – Cherry Blossom & Tangerines – Trafalgar Law x Y/n – Part 2

Modern AU. Living in Seoul, Sk. Trip to Jeju Do (Island). Everybody is alive. No spoilers. Female reader. No physical descriptions. Everybody is +18, canon ages. Chopper is human.

Tw: anxiety, fear of flying. No further tw warnings. Mostly SFW. Nami x Vivi & and some ZoSan.

A/N: The AU is inspired on Jeju Island, SK. I've made some research on cute places from there, such as touristic attractions and coffee shops. Even though, it may not be 100% accurate, so keep in mind is mostly inspired♥

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31059467

Word Count: 4K

» List of parts: {P1} {P2} {P3} {P4} {P5} {P6}«

Chapter 2. “Law?!...” I said surprised. “Y/n-ya?...” he asked, also surprised, but before I could say anything else, Luffy came running through the aisle and hugged Law, and I came to the conclusion that he was, indeed, Zoro and Luffy’s friend.

I moved my stuff out of the way, and after he got rid of Luffy, Law helped me to put my backpack on the overhead locker and then sat next to me.

I remained silent for a little bit, waiting perhaps for him to talk, but he didn’t. The flight attendant announced the takeoff was about to happen, so we fasten our seatbelts as the plane started moving. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and I could see how he seemed a little bit nervous. I thought it was my imagination, but when the plane gathered a little more speed through the runway, he began to breathe faster.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and I had to ask, “Law, are you ok? Are you feeling bad?”. He directed his gaze at me with blushing cheeks, and after a few seconds, he said “Y-Yes. I just tend to get a little nervous during the take off, but I’m… ok”. Poor thing, he was trying to cover his heavy breathing… “Don’t worry, it's completely normal, would you like me to hold your hand? You can squeeze it as much as you can”, I said kindly, keeping my cool just for him to see how it wasn’t a big deal, and nothing to get embarrassed of. I placed my hand, palm up, over the armrest that separated our seats and waited for him to hold it. He doubted a little bit, but he finally did it, first softly, still ashamed, but then firmly. “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon, try to focus on your breathing”, I guided him, with a calm speech, and looking directly into his deep grey eyes, smiling kindly. He slowly calmed his respiratory frequency, and a few minutes after the plane was already flying at cruise level, he sweetly let go of my hand. Our palms were a little sweaty, but I couldn’t care less.

“T-Th- Thanks…” He said, looking at the floor. “Don’t worry, you saved me three times the other day, now I owe you only two” I said, winking an eye at him. Law smiled a little, but kept looking at the floor. I was about to point out the fact that he was Zoro’s friend when Nami peaked through our seat backs saying “Oi Torao, you finally decided to come with us!! You normally don’t go anywhere, I’m glad you separated from your books for good!... Oh, and you two must know each other, right Y/n?” she said pointing at us, “Both of you study at the same U and are becoming doctors soon”. Vivi who was next to Nami began to giggle covering his mouth. Suddenly I realized that both of my friends already knew who Law was, and began to suspect that for some reason they wanted to perhaps pair us up.

“I know him from other circumstances”, I said smirking at them, but with an underhand expression of “I’m gonna kill both of you for not telling me”. Law smiled at them, but didn’t say much, and the girls returned to their seats.

“So, your surname must be Trafalgar, right? I thought you were a Donquixote…”, I asked him. “Yeah, is a long story…”, he said with no emotion at all, and I realized it wasn’t a good topic, so I changed the curse of the conversation. “Oh, you were the one who was complemented by Dr. Marco? You are amazing, doc!”.

“Uhum, but I’m not that good. Dr. Phoenix is just an amazing teacher”, he replied. “Indeed, he is”, I said. The small talk came to an end when the flight attendant offered us something to drink. I opted for a glass of plain water, and so did Law. He then grabbed a manga from his little bag, and began to read. “Maybe he doesn’t wanna talk to me…” I thought, put my air pods on and turned on the music. Some minutes after I regretted not having any sleep last night, as my eyes were trying to close...

The voice of the captain announced over the speakers that we will be arriving on Jeju Island in a few minutes. I was being lazy to open my eyes, as I felt extremely comfy sleeping in that position… until I realized I had my head - and almost the right side of my body - over Law’s shoulder. “Oh my… I’m sorry!” I said gaining composure and sitting properly on my spot. Law gave me a smile with kind eyes, and said “Don’t worry, I was asleep too, I used your head as a pillow, I didn’t want to wake you up, though”. Behind us a few laughs from the girls were heard, and I asked, confused, “You… what?. But the landing was already happening and the cabin crew asked us to prepare, so I decided to shut my mouth. I gazed at Law to see if he needed any help with the landing, but he didn’t seem as scared as he was with the taking off.

We all descended the plane, waited for our luggage and headed to the car rental picking point. I’ve booked three cars, so we distributed perfectly on each one. Franky picked the blue Hyundai Venue. Usopp, Chopper and Brook went with him. Law chose a yellow Hyundai Sonata, of course he would, he looks so cool… Zoro, Sanji, and of course Luffy followed him. I chose the white Tucson, for me and the girls.

We left the airport and drove through the streets of Jeju, admiring the beauty of the cherry blossom trees and the yellow flowers on the side of the road. Law’s car was behind us, and sometimes I spied through the rear mirror, just to see his face fully concentrated on the road.

I asked Nami to put the GPS for me, because our Airbnb was a little bit remote from the center and I was afraid of getting lost. The girls and I sang the whole drive to the songs the radio was playing.

We finally reached the house. It was just as the photos, a white two-story house, big enough for all of us. The beach was next to our patio, the typical style of grey rocks of Jeju Do garnished the entrance and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore with a few seagulls squawking made the whole atmosphere unique.

I gave the entrance code to Robin and she opened the door. Luffy entered first running excited and went directly to the garden to see the beach. We followed him, pretty excited too. Inside, the house had a minimalistic style, everything was white and the floor and furniture was made of light wood.

There were four rooms, so the guys distributed in two of them, Robin and I went to another and we let Nami and Vivi have a room for them. We took turns to use the shower and got ready to explore the island right away.

Sanji suggested that we should go first to Dongmun traditional market to buy fresh ingredients for him to cook for us. He became a professional chef a few years ago and works with his father Zeff, on his well-known restaurant, “The Baratie”. His cooking skills are heavenly, and he loves to cook for us, so we agreed immediately.

We arrived after a 10 minute drive, the market was extremely busy, the food stalls offered a variety of typical korean dishes, kimbap, tteokbokki, tteokgalbi and fresh and canned ingredients, such as typical fishes from the island and the famous kimchi.

Luffy, as always, drove by the smell of the delicious food, ran desperately inside and tasted every single sample the sellers offered to him. Nami, Vivi and I, decided to try the famed tangerines of the island. Nami, who is an expert on tangerines, would give us the final verdict on if they are good as people say. The juicy mandarin slices we tried were exquisite, the sweetness mixed with a little bit of tartness made us want to buy bags of them.

I saw Law approaching us, he had separated from Zoro’s group who were trying the variety of Sojus. I called him with a big smile and some tangerine slices on my hands, “Law!! Come here, you should try this!”. He came closer also with a little grin. I stood on tiptoes and said, “Open your mouth!” and without any shame I offered him a big juicy slice of mandarin. He opened his mouth surprised, but accepted the fruit and while taking it, his lips softly touched the point of my fingers. It felt almost as if he was kissing them, or for a moment I wished it was the case… A little drop of juice ran from his mouth through the commissure of his lips, so I immediately rubbed my thumb over it to clean it. He fixed his eyes on mine, and for a few seconds it seemed as if the rest of the world stopped existing around us. He swallowed up the fruit and thanked me still without taking his gaze off me. The moment broke when the old lady at the tangerine selling stall asked us if we wanted a box or a bag for the fruits. I turned to her, and saw Nami and Vivi looking at the lady wanting her to shut her mouth. My cheeks thanked the interruption, though, because they couldn’t get any more flushed.

“A box would be great, thanks!” I told the seller. Law carried the box himself, and we reunited with the rest of the group.

Sanji had already gathered everything he needed, Zoro had bought his alcohol provision for the next few days, Luffy had his face completely stuffed with some meat, Franky had a cola on his hands, Brook a milkshake, Robin a bag of tangerine tea, Chopper of course some candy cotton on both of his hands and Usopp was eating some type of ramyon. We left the market and headed to our temporary house to leave the provisions and decide the plans for the afternoon and night.

“I want to go to Bomnal Cafe, I heard they serve delicious pastries! Can we go there?” suggested Chopper. “We can go there for the afternoon, and then have a picnic with a bonfire at the beach for the night. What do you think, guys?”, I proposed. “BONFIRE! BONFIRE! Sanji, you could also make some barbecue!!” screamed Luffy, excited, and everyone agreed that it would be a great idea.

Some of us headed to the coffee shop, while Sanji, Zoro, Law, Usopp and Franky stayed at home to prepare everything for the night.

The little coffee shop had a minimalistic, all white and grey, and maybe a little vintage atmosphere. We ordered a few pastries, puddings and lattes that tasted exquisite. We sat by a big window that let us admire the beauty of a little garden with cherry trees and a little pond with some fishies swimming peacefully. We were making stories for Instagram, taking photos, having fun. “Oi, Y/n, pose for me!” said Nami and took a photo of me with her iPhone. I didn’t have time to pose properly, so it was a pretty casual photo of me drinking a matcha latte. Brook insisted on me posting it, because he said it was cute. Chopper and the girls agreed with him, so I uploaded it to my Instagram.

Suddenly, a new notification popped up on my screen, “@DrHeartSteeler liked and commented on your photo”. “Hey guys, do you know who is @DrHeart…” I was asking them while opening the notification and realized it was no other than Law. “@DrHeartSteeler > Beautiful… place. Can you bring me one of those when you come back home?”. I hadn’t had the chance to say anything else when my friends began to make a fuss about the comment. “WHEN YOU COME BACK HOME?, Torao what the fuck?” said Nami laughing out loud. Chopper who was a little innocent, started asking why everyone was laughing, and it only fanned up the flames that were blushing my cheeks. “Yohoho… I guess you have to bring him “home” a matcha latte, Y/n, he probably misses you already…” mocked me Brook. Robin, who is the most mature of all of us, simply laughed and looked at me with kind eyes.

“Stop it guys, he is just asking for a latte…” I said, fanning my face with my hand. “Oh, yes, of course. He wasn’t even following your account. Before we left home, he asked Vivi for your user, right babe?…” said Nami and Vivi nodded with her mouth full of chocolate cake. I didn’t want to show the excitement I was feeling on my insides, so I simply replied that he probably wanted to follow me because he was already following everybody in the group. We decided to come back before the sun set, so we could see it on the beach and after buying Law his tea, and some pastries for the guys we left the pretty tea room and drove home.

“Guys, we are home! we brought you some pastries!!” I said, while carrying the papers bags, and Law’s latte on the other hand. Everyone came running to me and grabbed the bags, while Law, who was sitting on the couch reading, looked at me above his manga, as if he was waiting for me to say something. I tried to act cool, so I said “And oh, uhm, Law your matcha Latte. I hope it’s the right size for you”. He smiled at me, left the book on the armchair and stood up. He walked towards me slowly, I didn’t know if he was trying to be sexy or it was just how he was… Because he certainly was, only using black with yellow spots, swim shorts and a yellow open shirt, that let me admire his tattooed chest and abs.

“Thanks, Y/n-ya. When I saw your picture, I craved for…” he made a little pause, and continued while grabbing the plastic cup, “some matcha latte”. Well, now I crave... you… I thought. I gave him a look from head to toe, and said smirking “It’s nothing, now I only owe you only one favor, so, you tell me if you need something more”. “Mh... I’ll keep it in mind”, he said with his low sexy voice and a little side smirk. I smiled at him and went upstairs.

I threw myself on the bed and sighed loudly. My heart was racing, my lower parts were feeling funny and the sexual tension I’ve just experienced was too much to handle for me. “How hot he is, damn it”, I expressed out loud covering my eyes. “Who is hot, Y/n?” asked Zoro, who apparently was entering my bedroom to ask me something. I almost had a heart attack, but calmed myself down and asked him what he needed. He told me that we were getting ready to go to the beach to prepare the picnic and watch the sunset and if I could bring some blankets. I told him ok and he left my room laughing.

“I came here to rest, and I’m getting more stressed than during finals”, I thought, annoyed, while gathering for a few blankets and pillows to bring to the beach. I headed downstairs. Everybody has already left the house and I could see them walking towards the beach from our patio. I was about to leave and closed the door trying not to throw the blankets I had in my hand, when someone scared the hell out of me. “Oi, you almost let me locked in..., let me help you with that”, said Law who was still inside. “God… Law, you scared me… what are you doing? I thought I was alone…”. “Sanji forgot the salt shaker, I returned to bring it to him”, he calmly answered. “Oh, I see… Well let’s go” I said, still breathing fast from getting scared, and handed him a few blankets to help me carry them.

The chilly sea breeze kissed our cheeks, and the sound of the beach began to fill my ears. I was wearing a long silky dress that danced with the wind, as well as my hair. The sun was going down, everything was golden. Oranges, violets, reds, were the colours that tinted the clouds above the sea. Law was walking right by my side, and both were admiring the beauty of the evening lights that bathed the cliffs. I decided to stop, and take a picture with my analog camera, and as I did, Law kept walking a few steps more until he realized I had stopped. He turned around and looked at me, just when I pressed the shutter. “I’m sorry, I… didn’t know…” Law excused himself for appearing in the photo, but I wasn’t mad at all. I gave him a smile and told him, “It’s ok, you are part of the trip, I’ll give you a copy when I develop the film if you want”. “Thanks…”, he said, and we kept on walking admiring the beauty of the sun setting.

We finally arrived at where everybody else was. Law gave the salt to Sanji and helped him with the barbecue. I started to set up the blankets with the girls and told Brook to play some music with his guitar. The boys had already put up the bonfire and some torchlights that lit up our night.

The night was lovely, it was a little cold, but a few beers after I was dancing with the girls barefoot on the sand to “A lovely night” from the movie Lalaland. Suddenly, Robin said to me “Hey, Y/n… it seems that Torao-kun can’t take his eyes off from you tonight”. “Huh?” I told Robin, confused. She pointed to where the boys were cooking and I turned my face to them. Law was indeed looking at me, with a beer in his hand. I smiled gazing at him over my shoulder, and he did too. I turned back at the girls and kept on dancing covering my mouth, giggling a little. Vivi, Nami and Robin also giggled and gave me a complicit smile.

“Dinner is ready, everybody! “announced Sanji and we gathered all around the grill to receive the plates that surprisingly Zoro helped Sanji to serve. I guess alcohol and food made them somehow get along, at least for a few hours. I wonder when they are going to stop the fighting and begin the kissing… fufufu…

The brochettes were heavenly, we ate them sitting around the bonfire while singing “Binks no Sake”, one of Brooks classics. He is the musician of the group, and even started his professional career a few years ago as “Soul King”. He is such a talented guy.

As the night passed Law and I sometimes interlocked eyes, or exchanged little smiles. I took some more photos during the picnic and we kept on dancing until 3 am, when we decided to raise camps and head to our beds.

I was exhausted, yet, the idea of stalking Law on Instagram was on my head and didn’t let me sleep. I covered myself completely with the sheets and searched for his user on my phone. He has no more than 5 photos posted. One of them was with Luffy and Zoro, after training, another one of him and Rosinante -he called him “Cora-san” on the image caption, how cute - when he was a little boy. The rest of the photos were with some friends dressed up as pirates for Halloween and in the comment section they called themselves the “Heart pirates”, ha-ha funny.

I suspired whenever I zoomed the photos over his eyes. I was starting to like this man, way too much... I tossed and turned in bed trying to fall asleep, but I simply couldn’t, so I thought drinking some tea would help me. I went downstairs, trying not to wake anybody up and got to the kitchen. From the big glass door that looked at the beach I saw how the moonlight lit up the waves crashing on the cliffs and the whole kitchen. The scenery and the chamomile tea were slowly fading away the image of Law’s eyes, until I felt someone placing a hand over my shoulder. I slightly gazed at it, and it only took me a few seconds to know it was the tattooed hand of the guy who was keeping me awake. He was wearing black shorts, and a loose white shirt. His hair was more disheveled than ever. What is it with this guy that looks so good no matter what he looks?...

“I see I’m not the only one who can’t sleep”, Law whispered. “Yeah, I’m exhausted but somehow I can’t fall asleep… I guess it must be the bed, I don’t know. Do you want some tea?”, I offered him. “Yes, that would be great”, he accepted.

I was turning on the electric kettle when we heard some noises coming from the living room. I looked at Law and both of us peaked through the kitchen entrance to see what was going on…

“Shitty cook… we shouldn’t….”, “What? are you afraid, idiot Marimo?”. Sanji and Zoro seemed a little drunk and were somehow hugging and walking at the same time. At first I thought they were trying to help each other to go upstairs, so I started walking towards them to help. I couldn’t walk any further because immediately Law grabbed me by my waist, and pulled me back into the kitchen covering my mouth. “Shh… just wait”, he whispered into my ear and let go of me. What I saw next was something we’ve all been waiting for. Finally, Zoro and Sanji accepted how much they loved each other, and went upstairs kissing as two teenagers in love.

I opened my mouth and looked at Law with a surprised expression, that soon turned into a happy face. I started making little jumps in my place. “I knew it!!” I said and Law giggled almost without making any sound. With the excitement I didn’t notice how near we were from each other, until Law softly caressed my face with one of his soft hands. He, of course had the hands of a surgeon, long fingers, soft skin, perfectly cut nails. “Why don’t we do the same as them?” he asked me, and I gasped and stood still in front of him. He slowly approached his face to mine until the point of our noses were almost touching. I got lost into his grey eyes, my mouth was ready to receive his lips. The sweet torture of the moments before a first kiss, I wished I could make it last as much as I could, but at the same time, I wanted him to kiss me, passionately, now, right now.

My eyes probably showed how desperately I was for him to kiss me, that he smirked and finally planted his luscious lips against mine. He explored my mouth with his tongue, with no modesty at all, and as we were passionately kissing he lifted me up and sited me over the kitchen counter.

Without stopping the kissing, I open my legs to allow him to come further and as he did, he slid a hand to my sex…

Part 3

PT1

Nakshatrasakshatras or Lunar Mansions and Their Wishes

Nakshatras provide an effective mind to find auspicious times for every imaginable human activity. They’re also useful for avoiding actions on a day when results are likely to be frustrated. To find that date when the cosmic vibrations will be just perfect for you to make that big career move, buy a car or plant your garden, you need a panchangam —an astrological calendar—calculated for your region.

The Moon’s nakshatra is the same all over the world at the same moment, but the human conventions of time zones and the International Date Line make the calendars produced in one place inapplicable to another. Panchangam in hand, you can proceed to research dates according to the following recommendations.

 In general, activities will bear more productive fruit if the Moon is waxing, that is, moving in the brightest phase toward full moon day according to the best astrologer in Delhi. A terse summary of the nature and tendencies of persons born when the moon is located in each of the 27 lunar mansions.

 1. Ashvini (Beta Arietis): Passionate, impulsive, attractive, and intelligent, people whose birth Moon is in Ashvini can also be headstrong and extravagant. They enjoy travel, are often s, killed workers and may have healing abilities. The Ashvins are Vedic gods of light, healing and inspiration.

 2. Bharani (41 Arietis): Bharani folk are usually healthy, happy, skillful, and conscientious. They also tend to be somewhat impatient and self-indulgent, and find it hard to forgive. Setbacks can shift their priorities from material preoccupation to spiritual transcendence.

 3. Krittika (Alcyone 2-Pleiades): Krittika types are fiery, full of creative energy, highly ambitious, dedicated to divine service, self-motivated, and “think big.” They stand out in a crowd and can become quite famous. They’re prone to eating too much.

 4. Rohini (Aldebaran): Rohini gives a loving, truthful disposition, serenity, a sense of responsibility, and a love of the arts, beauty, and culture. If the Moon is afflicted, they may be prone to stubbornness, anger, selfishness, and fault-finding.

 5. Mrigashira (Lambda Orionis): Gentle, sensitive, highly perceptive, drawn to romance, music and the arts, Mrigashiras prefer a quiet, comfortable life, can be very hardworking and are frequently drawn to spiritual life. Some are haunted by self-doubt or egoity.

6. Ardra (Betelguese 7): Full of vitality, good athletes, Ardra’s live life with enthusiasm and intensity. Sympathetic and helpful, they’re often drawn to the study of esoteric laws. If the Moon is afflicted, they can be cruel, lashing out at others unfairly at times.

 7. Punarvasu (Pollux 11): Good-natured, generous emotionally, prudent financially, content to live a relaxed, uncluttered life, self-disciplined, yet playful. They need to guard against complacency and watch their health. They make good friends.

 8. Pushya (Delta Cancri): They are stable, easy-going personalities, prosperous, well educated, popular, virtuous, nice looking, forthright, intelligent, and wise. Can be overly rigid, selfish, and arrogant. Productive and caring people who make good teachers.

 9. Ashlesha (Epsilon Hydrae): Self-reliant, excellent communicators, capable of great concentration and penetrating insight. Their candor can turn to tactlessness, and they may manipulate the truth to protect themselves. Don’t humiliate them; they will never forget it.

 10. Magha (Alpha Leonis): Regal, ambitious, pleasure-loving, physically strong, they easily rise to leadership positions, honor tradition, and pursue noteworthy projects. They enjoy being served more than serving, and they can fall prey to a voracious desire for sex.

 11. Purva Phalguni (Delta Leonis): Magnanimous, loyal, delightful conversationalists, earthy, attractive. They get their way without intimidating others. Often they are wanderers, drawn to the arts, and enjoy life to the full. The body is usually healthy, but the mind is so active and creative, they tend to leap before looking.

 12. Uttara Phalguni (Beta Leonis): Likeable, generally well-to-do, earning substantial salaries through their exceptional intelligence. Make wonderful friends, and are always ready to help their companions. Success, courage, and love of adventure may appear, but romantic escapades may lead to trouble.

13. Hasta (Delta Corvi): Hard-working, industrious, and exceptionally resourceful, they make fine artisans, specialists, business people, and teachers, but are not often leaders. May display intelligence, a sharp wit and healing ability, also a lack of patience, and a determined effort to manipulate others for their ends.

 14. Chitra (Spica 16): Charming and stylishly dressed, drawn to anything new or out of the ordinary. Magnets to the opposite sex, often artistically gifted, surround themselves with beautiful things. May at times become self-indulgent. These are intelligent, honest, efficient, substantial people.

 15. Svati (Arcturus 17): Independent, generally quiet, nice people who control themselves in public. They are helpful, pleasant conversationalists and rarely hold grudges. Like travel and strongly attracted to religion or philosophy. Sometimes they experience chronic discontent.

 16. Vishakha (Alpha 2 Libra): Purposeful, forceful, commanding in appearance. An excellent public speaker who enjoys making money. Courage, ambition, and one-pointedness carry them quickly to their goals. They revel in turmoil and enjoy a good argument.

 17. Anuradha (Delta Scorpio): Well-to-do, they dislike austere lifestyles, but have a deeply spiritual nature. They value family and friends, enjoy organizing projects and managing people. The less mature are prone to jealousy and depression.

 18. Jyeshtha (Antares 18): Deeply passionate, able leaders, renowned for their adherence to virtue—and their testy temperaments! Generally cheerful, but quite irascible when provoked, they gladly fight to defend the helpless.

 19. Mula (Lambda Scorpii): Set in their ways, clever, soft, and happy disposition, but somewhat suspicious of other people’s motivations. They tend to find their way to money, or money finds its way to them.

20. Purvashadha (Delta Sagittarii): Patient, independent-minded, convincing in speech, proud, lucky in love, outgoing people who will stick with their friends. Value their own opinions over others.

 21. Uttarashadha (Pi Sagittarii): Popular, idealistic, influential, stable, introspective, and ethical. Good both at starting projects and completing them. Drawn to work that uplifts others. The less mature may be lazy, easily distracted, or stressed out.

 22. Shravana (Altair 20): Intelligent, well-educated, and prosperous. A degree of fame usually comes their way. They love to learn, make good teachers and enjoy traveling. Often drawn to religious life, or a life of service, but they may become rigid or fanatical.

 23. Dhanishtha (Alpha Delphini): Courageous, generous, often prosperous, upbeat, ambitious, and with a universal outlook. They bring people together for a worthy cause. Not easily fooled, they carefully analyze any proposition put to them. Can be aggressive, rash, or overly conservative.

 24. Satabhishak (Lambda Aquarii): Blunt but honest, disinclined to conform, almost always get their way. Drawn to fields requiring penetrating insight such as science or philosophy. Can become a mindless workaholic, private, hiding their real thoughts. Most devoted to the service of humanity, whether recognized or not.

 25. Purva Prostapada (Beta Pegasi): Fine speakers, good business skills, can make money and hang onto it. Generally fairly serious people, yet may act impetuously or have a hard time sticking to a decision. The less mature can be phobic, cynical, or may strike out vindictively at others.

 26. Uttara Prostapada (Gamma Pegasi): Well-balanced and ethical people, kindly, self-sacrificing, supportive, very convincing in discussions. They sincerely enjoy family life and like to help others. When conflicts or competition arise, they are likely to hold the winning hand. Young souls can be lazy, irresponsible, and envious.

27. Revati (Zeta Piscium): Healthy, intelligent, with a sweet disposition, and artistically gifted, they love people, wish harm to no one, and nourish those in need. While they don’t seek much for themselves, wealth and joy are often spontaneously bestowed on them. The less mature may display an inferiority complex, a servile nature, or fall prey to continual disappointments these are concerned by the famous astrologer in Delhi.

ALRIGHT-

SO

I've had this list of headcannons just sitting in my notes app of my phone and I wanna put it somewhere so 👀

(These are heavily inspired by what I could gather from the skele boys in @bonelyheartsclub! I just threw in a few of my own.)

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Sans

- Does a LOT of stargazing and has quite a few space-themed knicknacks and clothes in his room. He's got a telescope too!

- Dad jokes. Any time is prime dad joke time. He's never let an opportunity slip past him.

- He's an absolute prank master. You're considered lucky if you happen to avoid the ones he's planted around the house like bombs waiting to go off.

- He's cryptic as fuck. Always giving half-true answers to every question. Occasionally he may slip up and give you a brutally honest response, but that's only with the people he trusts most, and he finds being open to be very difficult.

- He's constantly referencing memes and vine quotes from days of yore. He practically has a database of every meme ever in his head, and he doesnt let it go to waste.

- Cuddling with him is basically a one way ticket to nap-town, and you constantly find yourself waking up to him smooshed against you on the couch after dozing off. For being a skeleton, he is a surprisingly comfortable snuggler.

-----------*

Papyrus

-So much baking and cooking. It's his favorite past time, and the kitchen never smells the same when he's done making whatever he's making in there (it's 12 times out of 10 pasta) And while his cooking may be sub-par, you never say no when he asks you to try his latest dish.

- He's always up to go shopping with you. It never matters where. Malls are his favorite, especially the big grand ones with fountains and huge windows. He makes it a point to bring spare cash because you KNOW he's going to ride the mini marry-go-round even if he can barely fit in the seats.

- You two love to binge watch cooking channels. Always discussing which foods would be the most fun to make, writing down recipies, and having a hell of a time trying to pause the show at the right points to get all the information down.

- Papyrus is notorious for game nights. He's always pulling out boards and cards that you've never heard of before and never starts a game until he's absolutely certain you know the rules. Winning of course, is always his prime goal when it comes to games, but if he senses you're on a particularly rough losing streak, he MAY slip up. Occasionally. Just enough so you can win a game or two. Or five.

-----------*

Blue

- Hyper as all hell. You give him a reasonable dose of sugar or caffeine and he could power an entire city for a few hours without breaking a sweat.

- If he had been in high school, Blue would have been a theater kid. He's always humming a tune from a Broadway show or Disney movie, and he's got a pretty good collection of songs on his brother's Spotify playlist.

- This guy will blast Steven Universe music at full volume he has no shame.

- If you are ever driving somewhere with him, an aux cord is a MUST. Singing in the car is a very frequent thing with you two, and you'll only get out after the song is over.

- He likes cryptids! Mothman is his favorite and he firmly believes he exists somewhere.

- He's your workout buddy. If he manages to drag you to the gym with him, that is.

- Blue hates seeing you down in the dumps, and is always trying to cheer you up with his quirky puns and jokes to get you smiling again.

- He'd be the best motivational poster ever. Whenever he picks up that you're going through a rough spot and falling behind on self-care, he knows just what to say to put the spark back in you again.

-----------*

Stretch

- Radiates goblin energy.

- A goddamn meme lord.

- He's made two or three widely known viral videos and nobody knows it was him.

- You need someone to go to an anime convention with? Stretch is your guy. He's god awful at planning stuff out, but he'll make sure you both have a good time, no matter what happens.

- He's really big into nerd culture, and he DMs for a dungeons and dragons game every week.

- He'll occasionally smoke, but he doesnt have lungs, so he does it more for shits and giggles than anything else.

- As lazy as he seems, he is very reliable. If he knows it's something important to you, he'll get it done. Chores though, he's a lot more iffy with.

- He really likes bees.

-----------*

Red

- Talks big talk, but he's actually a huge softie.

- He's basically a big pillow with sharp teeth that can curse.

- A nervous wreck.

- His brother shops at Hot Topic. He shops at Spencer's. Very convenient.

- He's a pretty big flirt and throws out little compliments and things to butter you up from time to time.

- If you take Red into a Dave and Busters he will win the most expensive prize at the booth in about 2 hours. (He knows how to cheat at every single game)

- He's a competitive gamer, and has a pretty impressive following on Twitch.

- He can go from loud and brash to quiet and insecure in a matter of moments, depending on the situation.

- He loves to bake, although it's something he will never be caught dead doing.

- Comfort is not his strong suit, but he will defend you without a second thought.

- He can be a little clingy and will text you now and again to ask what you're up to, just to ease his mind.

-----------*

Boss

- Professionalism is his game.

- The walking embodiment of Hot Topic.

- He loves to listen to rock and screamo music. He's also got a thing for Disney villain songs.

- You need some punk biker or vampiric goth fashion advice? Boss got ya.

- Skellator Man.

- Out of all the skeletons, Boss has the biggest ego.

- He hates admitting he's wrong. He would rather DIE than admit he's fucked up something.

- "I am not nice-"

- He could kill a man with his high heels.

- If it's got spikes he'll probably wear it.

- Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsu

- Did I mention he's a cold blooded tsundere.

-----------*

Nox

- Small angery man.

- He listens to a lot of classic and instrumental music. He finds it very sophisticated.

- Wakes up obscenely early in the morning. Always followed by a cup of the most bitter coffee on the planet.

- Comes up with the best insults. He could roast someone so hard that they'd dissolve into a pile of soot. He could glare at you and you'd cease to exist. He's that good.

- WILL step on you without remorse.

- Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis.

- Very rarely has spare time for himself. He's always keeping busy doing something.

- Loves dark, dry humor. A child falling off a swing will have him laughing for a good five minutes.

- Has a stone cold poker face.

- He might have a softer side to him. You may never know because of the walls he's built up around him.

-----------*

Rus

- He absolutely adores animals. He volunteers at the local animal shelter and plans on adopting every single dog there.

- Rus has a massive sweet tooth. Donuts are his favorite, and you can easily bribe him with anything sugar coated.

- A road trip master. You put him in a camper and he knows exactly where he's going and what he's doing.

- "Going off grid, fuck yeah- I pull out my credit cards and shred 'em."

- Hiking, camping and geocaching are some of his favorite things to do. He loves to explore the wilderness and it's like he has a built-in compass for finding his way.

- His ideal date is going to a Wal-Mart and causing absolute chaos by riding bikes around and tossing all of the inflatable balls from their displays.

- Cryptidcore energy.

- Rus loves watching Buzzfeed Unsolved and ghost huntings. He's a big fan of Supernatural and Stranger Things, too.

- Stutters and slurs his words a lot. He's got some speech impediments from the gold canines in his mouth.

- A bit lacking when it comes to social skills, but he can be extremely caring and sweet.

-----------*

Ash

- Very soft-spoken and awkward. He doesn't get much social interaction and is still figuring some things out.

- He's very self-aware of the wound in his head. Whenever he has to leave the house he wears some sort of hat to cover it up.

- Practically lives in his garden. He understands plants more than he does human beings, and he spends time daily tending to whatever he's growing.

- Him and his brother are both vegetarians, and the smell or sight of meat makes them both feel sick to themselves.

- Has trouble sleeping due to his reoccurring nightmares. He will often sit in his garden late at night to help calm himself.

- Radiates soft energy. He would absolutely give the best hugs out of all the skeletons.

- Very touch-starved. Physical affection is something he rarely recieves, and he probably lingers with touches a lot longer than he should.

- Unintentionally makes God-teir jokes without realizing it.

----------*

Poplar

- Very well-educated in a lot of things. He really likes stocking up on useless factoids and making up his own just to mess with people.

- He answers Jeopardy questions with concerning accuracy.

- He enjoys going out to eat, and he's always up to try fancy foods.

- He likes photography and reading. He is well into the Harry Potter series.

- Poplar is prepared for anything at any time. A lot of stuff doesnt phase him at all, and it's difficult to catch him off-guard.

- He's willing to try anything new, once.

- Always willing to help out with schoolwork if he thinks you're seriously struggling with it.

- He's always carrying around small planners and notebooks to write in so he can keep track of things.

Jon/Dany #14 “I like the way your hand fits in mine”. You’re writing is amazing and you are a gift to this fandom!!!

I haven’t forgotten you. I promise. Inspired by the song “Hands Down” by Dashboard Confessional. This got smutty but I make no apologies!

*** He walked her along the path back to her place. She couldn’t contain her smile if she tried. She’d been dating Jon Snow for around three months. He’d been a complete gentleman the entire time, much to her chagrin. There had been silly dinners, fancy dinners, even a work function in which she got to see him in a sleek black tux. There were Sunday brunches, Saturday work out sessions, and lazy evenings spent in front of their tellys. And three occasions where they almost slept together but it was ruined by one reason or another.

The first such event had been after the black tie dinner for his law firm winning an award. He’d been adorable when he’d asked her to go. He barely looked at her, but once the words flew out of his mouth, he hadn’t stopped. She was quick to agree and put his worries out of his misery. The night had been filled with boring speeches, a lot of alcohol (open bar, after all), and groping in the back of the cab. But once they’d gone into his apartment, he seemed to sober up and told her that he wouldn’t do this considering the situation. She knew she should have stopped at her third screwdriver. If she had, her hands could have been in his pants. Or better yet, his in hers. Instead, he’d given her a change of clothes and they’d fallen asleep on the sofa together.  The second time had been after one of their telly dates at her place. Things were getting hot and heavy on the sofa. Their shirts had actually been cast across the room. The ringing of her phone hadn’t stopped them as he’d flipped her to her back and was sucking his way down to the open fly of her jeans. But the pounding on her door had certainly ceased their activities. She had put her finger to her lips to tell him to be quiet until a voice called out. “I know you’re on a date, but Doreah just threw me out and I have no where else to go,” Irri cried from the other side of the door. He placed a kiss on her nose before he stood and retrieved their shirts. She’d let Irri inside and kissed Jon goodnight. The third time had been the most frustrating as it had been their own fucking fault. Dany had everything at her place. Condoms, lube, sexy lingerie. But they hadn’t been at her place. They were at Jon’s. She’d gone there after a long day in which her co-worker Ramsay asked if he could smell her chair when she got up (Jon wanted his address so he could kick his ass), she’d spilled soy sauce down her white button down (which was why she was wearing a King’s Landing Dragons t-shirt under her blazer), her heel broke as she’d been walking to her car, and her mother had called to tell her brother was going back into rehab for the eighth time. She’d called Jon on her way home and he’d convinced her to come to his, he already had wine for her. She’d gone and cuddled into his arms and surprisingly only had a glass as she’d paced the room over and over, laying out her shit day for him. She’d even settled on the floor and gave his beautiful dog, Ghost, pets. It had started off as him helping her from the floor, a soft kiss which had morphed into deeper kisses, clothing removed kisses. Stumbling into his bedroom, tripping over each other. The horrifying discovery had been made after they were both naked and sweaty on the bed. His condoms hadn’t been used by him, but by his sister and her boyfriend who had house sat for him. He swore he’d kill her. They got off, for sure, a few times for her due to his persistence to make it up to her, but it wasn’t the same. And now, as they walked back to her place, a stupid stuffed wolf tucked beneath her arm he’d won for her at the fair. He’d told her that even if she ran out, he had an entire sleeve in his pocket, planned to turn their phones off and keep them off once they locked themselves inside her apartment. She dutifully agreed, even handing over her phone to him as they got closer. Once inside, things picked up quickly (and literally) as he lifted her from her feet and walked her back to her bedroom, nearly tripping over her cat, Drogon, who’d hissed at him. They stripped out of their clothes quickly, both feeling as if the universe was keeping them from actually fucking. She had almost uttered the words ‘forget the foreplay’ but Jon’s lips between her thighs stopped any words from protesting. He was so fucking good at that, so attentive, appearing to know just by the flex of her hips where he needed him to touch her.  Once she got off, though, she was down to business. They were pressing their luck, she knew. It would only be a few moments before aliens would surely come and take one of them up into their ship and do experiments on them and ruin everything. She’d reached into her bedside table and grabbed a foil, opened it, pushed him to his back to roll it over him. His hands her squeezing her flesh, his lips letting out frustrated groans, and his eyes were boring holes into her. When she finally climbed atop him and seated him inside, she’d stilled as did he, both of them stopping to look at one another.  And suddenly, she was nervous.  She took a shaky breath as she stared into his fathomless black eyes. His fingers laced with hers and she realized he felt it, too. She started moving, the frantic pace they’d had when they came in was gone. She rolled her hips slow, growing used to the feeling of him inside her. Finally. FINALLY, her body screamed. She found that watching his eyes was too much. The way he looked at her almost hurt it was so intense. She concentrated on her hands on his chest and the feel of his skimming over her skin, squeezing, plucking, pinching. Holding. His knees bent and he was thrusting with her and it was better.  She found herself rolled to her back and groaned as he slipped out of her with the movement, but then was back, filling her again. She notched her knees against his sides and he began taking her harder and faster than she had been. Looking up at him nearly undid her. Dark hair wild from her fingers carding through it, already plump lips kiss stained, but his eyes. What was it Doreah had once said? Love comes in at the eyes. It hit her, then, all at once. Her climaxed rocked through her followed by the heady knowledge that she loved him. She loved him. She loved Jon. A few moments later, he collapsed on top of her, burrowing his face against her throat. She wanted to touch all of him. Remind herself that he was real, this was real, how she felt was real.  He rolled off of her and she stretched out on the bed and watched as he sat on the edge, then stood and walked to her bathroom. She curled on her side and waited for him to come back. She felt the bed sink beside her and his fingers tracing her face. She reached for his hand and held it between hers without opening her eyes. “I like the way your hand fits mine,” he whispered. She opened her eyes to look at him and smiled. The affection she felt in her heart was reflected back in his eyes. “I like the way you fit with me.”  He raised an eyebrow and she laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Not like that, you perv. Well, not only like that. You’re staying the night, aren’t you?” He nodded and settled down beside her. “Staying as long as you’ll have me.” She moved into his arms that he wrapped around her. Forever, she thought. I’ll have you forever.

Peace and Unity

If it’s possible to write Dark!Charles and crack at the same time, I think that’s what I’ve done.

"All right, that is enough of that," Charles said exasperatedly as Erik turned the missiles back toward the ships. "I'm done coddling your neuroses, Erik."

He touched a hand to his temple, and the missiles tumbled from Erik's control into the water. Erik looked at the missiles, looked at his outstretched hand, looked at Charles.

"Sit down," Charles said, "before you hurt anyone else."

Erik sat down, hard and graceless, in the sand.

"But," he said. "But the helmet—"

"It slowed me down for a few minutes, I admit," Charles said. "But it's a bit hilarious that Shaw thought it would stop me for good. Brainwaves don't only come out the back of your head. Honestly!"

Erik probed at his exposed face, frowning.

Moira came running out of the crashed plane, where she had been trying to contact her CIA superiors. "Erik, put down those—Oh. You stopped him." She lowered her gun.

"Yes, thankfully, since you certainly wouldn't have been any use at it," Charles said. "A gun, Moira, really? You were going to fire a gun at a mutant who controls metal? How do you think that would have gone? Wherever that bullet ended up, it certainly wouldn't have been in Erik!"

Moira blushed and holstered the gun.

"You sit down, too," Charles said, "while I get this figured out." He waved a hand at Moira, who dropped onto her butt in the sand, face blank.

"Charles…" Raven was approaching cautiously, the boys hanging back behind her. "Are you all right? You're acting… a little strange."

"Oh, I act like this all the time, you just don't remember it later," Charles said absently. "And Moira doesn't mind. She thinks she has a crush on me. She actually finds me quite irritating, which wouldn't serve our purposes at all, so I had to fix that. Ah ah ah!" He turned and pointed at Erik, who was trying to get to his feet. "You stay put! There, now you can't feel your legs. That ought to keep you still for a bit."

"I don't… remember it later?" Raven repeated, shaken. "But Charles, you promised you would never use your powers on me…"

"Yes, I did," Charles said brightly, raising a hand to his temple, "and of course I never shall. You believe that, wholeheartedly. You all do."

Raven and the boys all nodded woodenly.

"Excellent. Now, you." He went to stand in front of Erik, whose eyes had gone very, very wide. "I think I've been more than patient with you, Erik. You've been through a great deal, and I really enjoyed trying to help you with that. It's been such a long time since I had a real challenge to work with. Raven stopped having truly independent ideas years ago. But unfortunately you've just proven that you can't be trusted not to kill people on a whim."

"I'm beginning to wonder why that matters to you," Hank said from behind Raven, his voice heavy with dawning dread.

"Sometimes I wonder too," Charles said in tones of exasperation. "People really are so stupid, so much of the time. But they're beautiful, too. You're all so beautiful." He beamed at them all, and they smiled back tentatively, instinctively reacting to the wave of affection and approval hitting their minds. "I can't help it, Hank, I do love people! They're so complicated, so interesting, so entertaining. If I had no people to love and take care of, what would I even do with myself? Not to mention, who would take care of me? I have needs, you know. And I can't cook at all." He looked them all over for a moment, thoughtfully—all of them, Shaw's defeated minions included. "Yes, every one of you has such potential. I do believe I'll keep you." He smiled with great satisfaction.

Then he pointed, and Shaw's minions walked, blank-faced, to stand next to Erik.

"Right," Charles said. "This whole kill-the-humans mindset has got to go. I think the simplest solution is to say today has been a turning point for you all, an epiphany. Violence is not the way. Brotherhood for all, that is the only answer." He touched a hand to his temple and closed his eyes for a very long minute, face scrunched in concentration. Moira, Raven, and the boys looked at each other uneasily.

When Charles opened his eyes, Shaw's minions were looking around and smiling as if the world were somehow new and beautiful. Erik, getting slowly to his feet, looked like he might be waking up from a bad dream—his face lighter, his shoulders sagging with relief. Absently, he took off the helmet and dropped it in the sand.

"Charles," he said breathlessly, opening his arms, "I'm so sorry—I don't know what I was doing—I don't know why I thought—"

"Shh, it's all right, darling, all is forgiven," Charles said, falling into his embrace. "So long as you never do it again."

"Never!"

"Excellent." He kissed Erik for a lazy, luxurious moment. "You are so good at that. All right, everyone, gather up! Azazel's going to get us out of here."

"But Charles," Raven said shakily.

"Ah, right." Another fingertip to his temple. "You all remember me talking Erik down with a rousing and inspirational speech about peace and unity, powerful enough to bring Angel, Riptide and Azazel over to our side. Raven, your confidence in my promise remains undying. Moira, don't forget you're in love with me—though you may end up forgetting a good many other things, very soon. Never mind that for now. Come along, everyone hold hands. Let's go home!"

"Yes, Charles," they all replied in perfect unison, and disappeared from the beach.

Really need people to understand that there is a difference between your diagnosis being stigmatized (what usually happens with mental illness) and your diagnosis resulting in you being subjected to ableism (disability) because those two things are a bit different and the distinction is important.

I want to start by saying that I am in no way attempting to minimize the struggles that mentally ill people face. I am mentally ill and have depression, anxiety, and ADHD as well as a physical disability, Cerebral Palsy. The line between the struggles of people with mental illnesses and the struggles of disabled people is thin but there is still a line. I just want to highlight some of the ways that disabled people are especially discriminated against in a world built and run by abled people and how that can be different from how mental ill people experience alienation or stigmatization. These differences are also why I think that comparing a mental illness to a disability can be problematic. I am, however, also aware that there is overlap and that some diagnoses can be considered to have a foot in both arenas, this is in no way meant to be a hard and fast rule. I also don't claim to speak for the entire disabled community but a lot of the things under the ableism list are things that I've experienced myself which is the place that this post is coming from. I want people to realize that ableism is more than stigmatization and that it is engrained in the world that we live in.

Stigmatization comes from people misunderstanding your illness and how seriously it can impact you and your life. I would consider stigmatization to be things like:

People using your diagnosis as an insult or joke, further stigmatizing it. Ex: When ppl say things like "I'm so ocd" or "I'm so bipolar"

People ignoring your symptoms or attributing your symptoms to your character. For example, instead of recognizing the symptoms of your illness like executive dysfunction, someone might just call you lazy.

General lack of understanding or sympathy towards mentally ill people

Lack of accurate representations of mental illnesses in media. Most of the time the character with the mental illness is made to be the villain or antagonist. Once again, very stigmatizing and gross.

Also, for both mentally ill and disabled people it can sometimes be difficult or expensive to get the right medications you need.

Examples of everyday ableism and systematic ableism that's ingrained in our society which particularly affects disabled people include:

Someone using derogatory language to belittle and degrade your existence as a person. It positions you as less than. Can often be a targetted, direct attack at a disabled person. Ex: the r slur, words like "cripple", and using "deaf", "blind", or "disabled" as insults.

Mocking the way someone walks, moves, speaks, or exists as a disabled person.

No one taking you seriously because you are disabled/being subjected to infantilization. People assuming that you can't do anything for yourself.

Able-bodied people assuming the needs of a disabled person without asking them. Often this comes from a place of trying to be helpful but make sure you always ask what you can do to accommodate someone before assuming what they might need help with because it can be infantilizing

Example: I've had a lot of people assume that I need help putting on a jacket or getting my shoes on so they automatically start helping me with it and they basically end up treating me like a child because they assume that I can't do something.

People touching you or your equipment or mobility aids without your consent. Mobility aids can be like extensions of our body so do not touch them without our permission. This urge to violate a disabled person's space comes from the subconscious assumption that disabled people don't have their own autonomy.

Example: many times when I was a full-time wheelchair user people would come up behind me and just start pushing my wheelchair without asking or saying anything. Their intention was to help me get where I was going but it was very jarring to suddenly start being pushed without asking.

Being denied a job because you are disabled.

Job applications including physical ability requirements for non-physical or desk jobs to discourage disabled people from applying. Ex: "must be able to lift [x amount] of pounds"

Being denied the accommodations you need to be able to function in a school/work/home/other environment.

Lack of captions or audio descriptions

Being expected to work and move at the same pace as your peers all of the time.

Constantly feeling the need to "prove" yourself to the abled majority.

The idea that being abled is the ideal and that you need to do everything in your power to try to be as close to abled as possible. The idea that you shouldn't be comfortable with your disability. The notion that being disabled cannot be a whole or fulfilling identity.

A good example of this that people don't often think about are the viral videos that are like "Sally worked for months so that she could [struggle] to walk down the aisle at her wedding! Isn't that sweet?" Or the videos of kids feeling pressured to walk across the stage at graduation. These videos imply that struggling to perform ability is somehow better than being comfortably disabled.

The idea that disabled people can't be desirable, attractive, or sexy. The idea that they don't make good romantic partners.

Using disabled people as inspiration porn. This happens a lot with viral videos of disabled people where the comments amount to "if they can live with a disability, then you have no reason to complain about your life!" Disabled people do not exist to inspire you.

Also another personal example but one time in gym class I did more push ups than a girl who was able-bodied so she got all defensive and said "well if she can do that many then I'm gonna do more!" Like girl.... anyways...

Having to jump through a million hoops to get disability benefits. Or being denied disability benefits for arbitrary reasons.

Also once you get disability benefits it's barely anything. Also when you're on benefits you're not allowed to save up money and if you get married you lose benefits. I could make a whole other post about how disabled people are expected to live off of nothing but...

MOBILITY AIDS ARE SO EXPENSIVE HOLY SHIT

The world was built by and for able-bodied people. Architectural/environmental ableism occurs when there are no ramps, no accessible bathroom stalls, no elevators, no disability parking spaces, and/or no space for wheelchairs/mobility aids in public places.

This also happens a lot with public transportation. When I tried using the metro with my friends in DC, I had to have a security guard help me get down the escalator because there wasn't an elevator nearby. Right before I got on it, I saw a man force his wheelchair onto the escalator.

A smaller example but it can be as small as there not being a sidewalk ramp. One time I couldn't even cross the street because there was no sidewalk ramp and I was in a wheelchair. Once again, the world was built by able-bodied people.

Eco-ableism. It's when disabled people aren't considered when it comes to environmental activism. The best example of this is the straw debacle that happened last year. Every abled person and their mama wanted to complete ban plastic straws without acknowledging that a lot of disabled people need to use blendable, flexible plastic straws.

Another example that I've witnessed myself has been with automatic doors. I've had to tear down signs at my university that were put on automatic doors that said "save a polar bear, use the other door". Stop blaming disabled people's survival for environmental issues and blame big corporations.

Almost a complete lack of disability representation in media. Disabled kids don't have many people who they can look up to. I know I didn't have any.

The ableism that comes from abled parents of a disabled child.

For years I was told inaccurate information about my disability by able-bodied people, including my mother. It was only when I started researching my disability myself that I actually began to understand it.

Related to the previous point, lack of information or knowledge about certain disabilities

People assuming that just because someone is in a wheelchair that they can't move their legs or walk. This feeds into the idea that disabled people are "faking" their disability. The idea that someone is "faking" can lead people to be attacked or have people tell them that they don't "deserve" things like benefits or parking spaces.

People who straight up pretend they don't see us. I've had so many people try to cut me in line over the years just because they didn't think I would say anything or wanted to pretend they didn't see me.

I have friends who have delayed speech as part of their disability. If you know someone who has delayed speech or a stutter, don't fucking cut them off or try to finish their sentences for them. It's super rude and disrespectful.

DON'T FUCKING SAY THE R WORD. DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT EVEN IF YOU ARE DISABLED! THE R WORD IS SO ABLEIST AND STIGMATIZING STOP SAYING IT! DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR WRITING EITHER!

Lastly, about half of people killed by police have some sort of disability or mental illness. Disability is intersectional and it's important when talking about things like the BLM movement, women's rights, lgbtq+ rights, etc.

Hope this helped you learn something about ableism and how prevalent it is!

Walk in the woods

Summary: Richie and Eddie take a walk in the woods 

A/n: this is mostly just fluff, let me know what you think!

warnings: a sex joke Richie’s makes 

A twig snaps under Richie’s boot, the only audible sound in the otherwise eerily silent woods. Eddie’s been trailing him for a while now, yet he manages to avoid any crunch or chomp that could possibly disturb the peace.  

The sun burns merciless on Richie’s back, sweat dripping down his body in a disgusting amount and turning his shirt soggy and clam. He tries to slow his breathing down to a respectable speed for the distance they’ve persevered, but he rasps and splutters despite his attempts. A chuckle rises from behind him, followed by a hand to steer Richie up the small hill next on their obstacle course.

‘Come on old man, out of breath already?’ Eddie asks, the smirk on his face clear from the tone of his voice.

‘No,’ Richie lies, pushing through the muscle cramps that tingle up his legs and gaining momentum thanks to Eddie’s encouragement.

Once he sets foot on the even platform of the hill, he cries out victoriously at the picknick bench that looks highly attractive to Richie’s body and mind alike.

Eddie shoves him a bit further up. ‘Dude, at least take one more step so I can rest too.’

Richie laughs, facing Eddie and surrendering his hands, a teeth showing smile plastered on his face and bending down to fit his lips against Eddie’s softer once.

The kiss is slow, languid and everything Richie and Eddie’s personality is not, and Richie loses his mind every single time they do this. The second their lips attach Richie’s entire being still, in a way it never is and Richie assumed it could never be. His colleagues say it’s their honeymoon faze, but Richie disagrees. He’s waited for Eddie for so long, he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop being this grateful to have him.

He pokes his tongue out slightly, fishing to take the kiss a step further, but Eddie intercepts and detaches. In a way, it’s a good thing, if the tongue makes an appearance, they’re occupied for a long time.

‘You reek’, Eddie complains, scrunching his nose up like a toddler, the edges of his limps trembling in effort of not smiling.

‘You smell like sunscreen’, Richie hits back, his hand pinching Eddie’s left cheek. ‘It’s cute.’

‘It’s not cute’, Eddie says in his best rendition of Richie failing horribly, while slapping Richie hand away. ‘It’s to be safe. Sunscreen can prevent Basel cell carcinoma A.K.A cancer from forming, and that’s something I would like to avoid.’

Richie laughs heartily, relenting on the cheek pinching and sliding his hands down Eddie’s arms to link their hands together.

‘Break time?’ Richie pleads leading them to the bench so he can catch his breath. The kissing hasn’t done him any good, and if he has to walk another ten minutes he might pass out.

‘Fine, lazy ass. Five minutes, then we leave.’

Richie cheers with his arm held up, walking towards the seat with more vigor than he walked the entire way here.

‘Eds, I’m hurt. We can’t all be living work out machines.’ Richie argues, praying for a light breeze to blow and cool him down.

‘I sport once a week Rich. Don’t overreact.’

‘Me? Never. I’ll leave that up to your mom.’

He catches the goody bag Eddie dragged with him a tad before it hits his face, guffawing. In the bag are two plastic water bottles, and an apple, brought along with the sole purpose if either of them pass out, the glucose will amp the blood sugar, according to Eddie.

Richie tosses a water bottle to Eddie and takes one out for himself, slurping three fourth down in one gulp.

‘Richie’, Eddie warns, ‘If you drink it all you won’t have any left for later’, so Richie conserves the rest for a future time. Tilting his head towards the sun, Richie squeezes his eyes shut and fidgets with his fingers on the table, tapping out a song stuck in his head for the past few days.

The walk is Eddie’s idea of quality time, a sort of date to explore they neighborhood they moved into, and Richie jumped on the opportunity to see Eddie in a small short, without considering that he himself had to hike as well.

‘My face is melting off’, Richie complains, burying his head between his arms to hide in the shade, miscalculating how hot it would be.

‘It is hot,’ Eddie agrees, observing Richie and his struggles with an affectionate pat on the arms. The sunscreen is applied in such a think layer that Richie can scent it from a far away distance, but it honestly adds to Eddie’s charm.

The sunscreen gives him a blast from the past, Richie and Eddie in the quarry in the middle of summer attacking each other with sunscreen sprays, because Eddie’s smart and knew Richie would never apply it if he didn’t trick him into it.

‘hey’, Eddie says out of nowhere, ‘I love you’, Eddie confides, his posture open and accepting of touch, not bothered in the slightest by the sweat soaked man in front of him, which proves his love to him more than any words ever could.  

Richie gazes up at Eddie with love struck eyes behind his thick, coke bottled glasses, littered with finger prints and dust particles that by Eddie’s standpoint make it impossible to see through. It may be the glasses, but Eddie swears tears are forming before Richie blinks them away.

‘Oh Eds, I love my spaghetti too.’

‘And the moment is broken’, Eddie deadpans, scanning the woods for any sign of anyone else hiking the trail.

‘We’re all alone Eds. What do you say, you wanna christen this place to be ours? Like those couples in the wrong turn movies do? Right before they’re killed off by hillbilly’s.’

‘Shut the fuck up Richie. Are you trying to inspire Pennywise to kill us in another way?’ Dramatically, Richie flings himself across the table his long spider limbs seizing Eddie around his shoulder and head and swaying them back and forth.

‘Why how dare you accuse me of something so vile? that's a load of old codswallop, Knackered or not, I will defend your honor my good fellow.’ Richie says in a British accent that is very much improved from the days when he used it as a child, but sounds very chocked now.  

‘Alright, I believe you, now get off of me.’ Eddie swats him away, sinking back in his seat. It’s a sneer he should have refrained from making, Richie is still pretty agitated about what happened in the sewer now more than two years ago.

Eddie’s guilt swallows him whole, his concern growing stronger and stronger each passing moment Richie is without speech. He keeps his head down and stares at the floor, seemingly processing Eddie’s words, but then his head tilts up and he smirks .

Eddie is too late to see why the smirk is there, and he gets blasted in the face with a stream of water, part of it in his mouth, and part dripping down his hair. Richie laughs hysterically, too loud for the tranquil space they’re in.

‘Basterd,’ Eddie swears, diving in for his own bottle and streaming his, way fuller, water all over his boyfriend and his clothes.

‘Hey, no fair, all my water is gone.’

Eddie flips him the bird roughly, continuing to hose Richie down with a large beam on his face. When his water bottle empties, Eddie tosses it back in his carry-on, tired but satisfied with how the walk has gone.

‘You ready to go again old man?’ Eddie only process his words when they’ve already left him, and by then it’s too late.

‘I’m always ready to go again with you Eddie Spagheddie.’

‘Don’t fucking call me that. Let’s go.’

Richie nods, chuckling, stretching to prepare and hissing as his bones crack. He smiles angelic, Eddie whipping around to stare at him at the sound. ‘Nothing happened.’

Eddie rolls his eyes but doesn’t comment anything, a small favor he’ll be sure to cash in later.

‘You know Eds, I really like his.’ Richie slots their hands together, swinging their hands wildly in between them.  

‘Oh so you’re saying you wanna do this again?’

‘I wouldn’t push it Eds.’

mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily 

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm 

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :( 

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More 

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt 

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus 

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo 

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head] 

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn 

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal 

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable 

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god, 

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT 

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god. 

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent 

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe 

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light). 

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result. 

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes. 

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience 

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself 

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next 

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!