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#ketterdam’s most dangerous <3

kasagia · 1 year

Text

I'll be back for you

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The Moon Summoner ran away with Alina from the Little Palace with the help of Kaz Brekker's crows. The group successfully escaped from Darkling's hands, but that doesn't mean he will forget about his Y/N. He's going to chase her until she is in his arms again. However, Mr. Brekker did not let his childhood friend disappear without a trace from his life again. He will protect her. For all costs. After all, she was his newest investment. Warning(s): Darkling, Kaz fights haphephobia (but not as severe for him ), reader argues with Baghra, reader has internal moral conflict, curses, fights, and their red aftermath, I used a quote from TVD and The Invisible Life of Addie Laurie because… they fit and I love them veeery much It's my first one-shot for both Darkling and Kaz, so please be gentle (I'm very nervous and excited at the same time to publish it) <3 Word count: 14k (too long, someone should take me away from the keyboard in the middle of this)

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 (end) ~•♤♤♤•~

Every night since you escaped with Alina and Genya with the help of your childhood friend Kaz and his crows from Ravka, you've been haunted by nightmares. No. Not the usual horrible flashbacks of your past in Ketterdam or the Little Palace.

HE visited you.

The Darkling. The Black Heretic. The man who promised to keep your heart safe and broke it in two along with your trust.

Genya has a right to warn you about powerful men. But you, the lost girl kidnapped by slave hunters from Ketterdam, the girl who has nothing to lose and was happy enough to somehow end up in the general's tent and find out about being one of the most powerful Grisha, didn't want to listen to her.

You foolishly believed that you, of all people, were able to charm the most dangerous man in all Ravka with your beauty, character and mind.

You believed that sweet words, longing glances and tender moments between you were real, that they meant something.

But it was all just a game. A game that brought him your affection and blind trust. And Kirigan, Darkling, or Alexander played in it like mastermind.

You should have listened to Genya. At least those damn dark eyes wouldn't haunt you every time you closed yours.

With the taste in men you have, you should have predicted that the first guy you hooked up with would be a psychopath. Fate could only be a little bit more favorable to you and not connect you to the hundreds-year-old black heretic who created the fold.

You've always had a weakness for villains and gray characters.

Your first teenage crush only proved it.

Because who else but you would fall in love with a bastard boy from the barrel who started his criminal career with the Dregs, who couldn't stand the touch of other people, and who wanted nothing more in his life than revenge on Pekka Rollins?

If I survive this shit, I really should find someone normal to be with.

You thought before you somehow managed to fall asleep for the first time in a month, hoping that your bond with the Darkling would weaken for those few hours when you tried to find peace.

~•♤♤♤•~

It was pure darkness around you. Not that one when all the lights went out and it's only you and your bed. No. They felt too familiar for you to confuse them with anything else. Those were his shadows.

He must have been near, playing with you as he always had.

You carefully took one step forward. The shadows parted in front of you, so you could see the ground. You bent down to your boot and pulled out a dagger, hiding it behind the sleeve of your blouse. You had to be ready for anything. Even if it meant fighting the shadow lord himself in your own subconscious. You sighed, stepping uncertainly into the darkness.

Your eyes quickly adjusted to the place around you, allowing you to move faster along the path. You recognized this bloody spot. The path in the woods you raced down when he took you for your first ride. Then he dragged you to HIS fountain, telling you nonsense about how it's only here among other Grishas that you discover your true self. He was already weaving his manipulative web around you, and you fell into it like an oblivious fly.

The snap of a twig stopped you. You looked around, not seeing anything at all except for the fountain in the distance. You flinched as his shadows gently pushed you forward.

"I'm not going to play another of your games, General!" you screamed as you spun around, walking forward. If he was already disturbing you, at least he might have had the honor to step out of the shadows.

"Call me Aleksander…"

You shivered as you felt his soft whisper against your neck. You spun, summoning your light and shooting into the space behind you. Unfortunately, it didn't encounter any Black Heretics on its way.

You huffed angrily, continuing your walk until you reached the fountain.

It was different than when he brought you here last time. The engravings have changed. They no longer told the story of the Black Heretic who created the fold. They were of you and Aleksander. Slowly falling in love.

"The union of darkness and his light." you felt your body tremble as the fabric of his kefta brushed your hand.

"I would never have taken you for such a sentimental fool." you turned to face him, taking a step back to increase the distance between you. With a very smug smirk, you noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes. Good. At least the son of a bitch suffers as much as you do. "Especially not after what Baghra had told me."

"My mother has the amazingly irritating gift of ruining my plans. She also doesn't like the people I care about much."

"Hmm… what a pity. Maybe if you weren't planning to use us as weapons in your plans, I'd care more. Also, don't try to tell me that there are people in this world who are more important to you than yourself. We both know I'm not going to fall for it again."

"I understand your resentment." you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief as you turned your gaze back to the fountain. "What's so funny?" you relished every irritated word directed at you. Maybe you couldn't seriously hurt him physically, but at least you could be a pain in his ass.

"I just forgot how easy it is for you to choose words that both tell the truth and work in your favor. Please, continue. I didn't truly laugh for a very long time."

"You're making a mistake." he stood next to you, grabbing your arm to turn you toward him.

You yanked your arm out of his grip as soon as your powers met in that familiar dance of dark and light. You both sighed, stunned by the sudden combination of your powers coursing through your veins. You opened your eyes, which you closed in the flow of the moment, meeting his tender, longing gaze. The man reached out to cup your cheek, but you pulled away from him before your skin had a chance to touch again.

"Funny. That's what I heard from your mother before she made me realize what shit I got into."

"One conversation with my mother, and you're ready to give it all up? Just because she was faster than me? Because she revealed a truth about me that she had no right to? What if I wanted to tell you right after I dealt with the group that wanted to attack you and Miss Starkov?" the grudge in his eyes only fueled your anger. He had no right to resent you for running away from him at the earliest opportunity when he had been hiding this important piece of his past for so long.

"What does it matter, general? None of it was real anyway." you growled, turning your back on him again so as not to reveal your hidden emotions to him. You didn't want him to know that you still cared. Indifference was a worse punishment for him than your wrath.

"So c'mon. Prove your point. Turn around, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you didn't feel anything towards me for even the slightest moment."

You wanted. You really did. To look directly into his soul-black eyes and say that he meant as much to you as the dust under your shoes. However, you both knew very well that it would be just a poor lie. And you both knew each other well enough to know when the other was lying.

"Just because my foolish heart longs for something, it doesn't mean I'll give in to its stupid desires. Wasn't you the one who told me that wanting makes us weak?"

"You should know I've changed my mind by now." the sound of leaves crunching under his boots was the only warning you got before you felt his presence behind you. "You. You are changing my mind."

"Don't tell me I have any influence over you. It's a poor play. You can do better, Kirigan."

"You and I may change the world, Y/N…" you flinched as you heard the exact same words he said here so many months ago. You turned to face him when you felt the coldness of one of his shadows wrapping around your leg. You pointed your dagger at the man standing only one, little step away from you. He didn't seem affected at all as you pointed the dagger at him. He didn't even look at it. His eyes were only on yours. "You may not see it now, too blinded by your righteous, but not entirely fair, anger at me, but deep down, you know that we are destined for greater things than others. You, me, and Alina together can be the strongest creatures in the world."

"You know very well that we never wanted to live like this. Neither of us."

"Do you? Alina maybe doesn't want to be the Saint, but you, Y/N?" you took a step back and another as the black heretic approached you with his every word. He stood in front of you, letting the dagger you were holding in your trembling hands touch his chest. He smiled almost mockingly, seeing that your weapon against him was exactly the same one he gave you on your birthday, provoking your anger again. To spite him, you summoned wispy beams of white light that began to radiate from your hand to chase away his shadows.

"You don't know what I want." you growled, pressing the dagger harder against his heart to remind him that you were in control here. He could sneak into your dreams, but at night you were the most powerful Grisha in this bloody world. And even he had to reckon with your power.

"Yet I still see a desire in your eyes." you shifted your gaze to him, watching him silently and with hostility as his face was illuminated only by your powers. You were disgusted to find that, despite his betrayal, he was still equally handsome to you. "Not only for me but also for my power. You, my little moonlight, you want to be just like me. Strong, powerful, and ageless." he raised his hand deftly, dodging your dagger, and, under your watchful gaze, brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek as he did so. He took a step towards you, causing you to press the blade against his neck as he got close enough to whisper in your ear. "You can run as far as you want, but you don't run from the truth that's inside you. And when you finally understand what you really want, I'll be there for you, waiting with open arms for my saint moon."

"Have fun waiting for this day, Morozova." you whispered, not giving in to his piercing gaze.

"I am a very patient man, after a thousand years on this earth, you will be too, Y/L/N."

"I'm not you, Aleksander. I don't wanna live forever, and I'm not gonna. I won't see the only people I truly love and care about die before me. Even eternity and unimaginable power are not worth it."

"They're still people you love and who can share this fate with you. Who will live long enough to be with you forever." one of his shadows began to wrap around your hand, forcing you to remove the dagger from his neck.

He leaned closer to you and rested his forehead against yours. You sighed, shivering as the scent of his familiar perfume enveloped you after so many weeks apart. You were tempted to give in to him again. And that dark desire in your heart terrified you more than the capabilities of the Black Heretic caressing your cheek.

"This isn't love. It was just a game. We were just playing a game. The same one you created a long time ago to earn my trust. But I'm no longer that naive girl who is desperate for somebody's attention and love. You made me stronger, crueler, ruthless. And believe me, general, I'll repay you for all you have done."

"You don't believe that. You can't have believed my mother that I am your villain so easily." in other circumstances, where your heart wasn't beating for his, you'd probably laugh at the desperation in his voice. But now that every fiber of you longed for the man before you, there was only one thing you could do.

"Then tell me, Aleksander..." you leaned in to him, rubbing his nose with yours as he closed his eyes and waited for your lips to finally touch after weeks of craving your slightest touch. "Why was I so tempted to do this?" you dug into his tempting mouth, giving you both what you needed.

In your head, you explained this crime against your friends as wanting to do what was originally intended to be your primary goal. The gentle prolongation of your longing, amazing, desperate kiss before you plunged the dagger into his side without the slightest hesitation wasn't your fault at all. Aleksander moaned into your lips, pulling away from you as he felt blood trickle down his side.

"Leave me alone, or I will make myself your villain." you whispered into his mouth before you somehow managed to get yourself out of your "dream".

~•♤♤♤•~

"Y/N?" Alina's soft whisper wakes you up. You opened your eyes, feeling how your chest was burning for fresh air and your heart beating faster than it should. The woman was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

In the corner of your eye, you can see Nina standing in the doorway of the room Kaz graciously assigned to you after you arrived in Ketterdam. You can swear on saints that Inej was looking through your window before she went - probably going to tell Kaz about your fourth nightmare this week.

And it was only Tuesday.

You felt attacked from all sides. If not Inej through the window, then the madmen through the door or in your dreams.

"What are you doing here? It's well after midnight." you asked her, gratefully accepting a towel from Nina to wipe the sweat from your face. Alina and Genya lived far from the club, in motels on opposite sides of the city.

"Just in case someone betrays us. At least one of you will save yourself if the Darkling comes to these parts."

Brekker's brilliant and preventive mind had already terrified you before you stepped off the boat onto the familiar land of Ketterdam. The fact that he thought through and arranged your accommodation before anyone could ask him was either another display of his otherworldly mind or a blatant act of arrogance and overconfidence in his strength against the Darkling. But you knew Kaz too well to assume that he underestimated the power of the Black Heretic even for a moment.

"Nice to see you too. Kaz sent for me."

"Since when does the sun summoner do all the Dreg king's orders?" you asked, making Nina laugh.

"Since the moon summoner is constantly skipping her bedtime. You have to sleep. You can't always be on Jesper's special energetic drinks." she scolded you like a little child, to which you snorted indignantly.

"I will take a gorgeous, lovely, very long nap right after we kill Kirigan. Before then, nobody can make me do that. And tell Kaz I remembered him as braver the last time we saw each other on your way back to the motel."

"We are just worried about you, Y/N. You slept the whole night only once since we left."

"Don't tell me you're surprised. If you were me, you would do the same."

"Maybe. But we both know you're stronger than me. I know you can beat him, and even if you can't do this alone, which I doubt…" she wrapped her hand around yours, making you look into her eyes again. "You must know I will always be by your side, like you by mine. It's you and me against the darkness, Y/N."

"You know, you've spent way too much time on that boat with your toughts. You sound like an old uncle giving good advice or something."

"Speaking of advice, if I were you, I wouldn't insult the only person who can wake you up from… this." Nina waved her hand in a circle, pointing to the miserable state you were in.

"You should see Kirigan. I stabbed him." you replied with a self-satisfied smirk, watching the heartrender gasp in shock and Alina shake her head in disapproval.

"What have I told you about starting unnecessary arguments with him and maiming him?"

"That this is a good way to vent my anger and frustration?" you asked innocently with a huge smile.

Alina drew breath to argue with you, but a knock on the door distracted her. You glanced at Jesper, peering into your room, and wrinkled your nose at the light-burnt sheets you and Alina had left.

"The boss wants you, moon girl."

"Not only him." you murmured, pulling the remnants of the quilt from yourself. You took your clothes out of the closet and turned to the people in the room with your hands on your hips. "Are you leaving or staying for the show?" Alina mumbled a silent apology, blushing in embarrassment as she left, along with a laughing Jesper and an amused Nina.

You sighed as you stood in front of the mirror and brushed away the sweaty hair that was stuck to your face. Thanks to Inej and Kirigan, it looks like you'll have a long conversation with Kaz about your safety again. Your friend was sometimes a bigger pain in the ass than you—an achievement that wasn't granted by you to just anyone.

"I just fucking hope you're writhing in pain right now." you muttered to yourself, not believing for a moment in the sincerity of what you just said.

~•♤♤♤•~

"You wanted me." you entered the Dirtyhands' office without knocking, taking a place of honor on one of the two comfortable armchairs in the room. Kaz didn't look up from his papers, but the slight crease of irritation on his forehead told you he had noticed your presence. You were surprised that, after years of separation, you could still read him easily. "It's rude to ignore your guest."

"It's rude to come in without knocking." he replied to your provocation, tracing something he had just written. You snorted in amusement, seeing that you managed to distract him.

"Well, I didn't come here for no reason. You sent Jes for me."

"Jes?" a diminutive you used for his sharpshooter, has earned the man's attention. He gave you a questioning look, throwing the papers on his desk.

"What? Can't I make a friend other than you?"

"I'm your boss." he hummed, getting his cane up from his desk and walking to his dresser. You rolled your eyes as you watched the man's back. The son of a bitch knew perfectly well that you hated it when he didn't look at you during a conversation.

"Sure, if it helps you sleep, tell yourself what you want, Brekker."

"You live at my club, sleep here, eat with my crows, and waste my time taking some useless gossip from downstairs." he enumerated, turning over his things and searching persistently for something.

"And I'd been doing this for four years before you became Mr. Scary Dirtyhands from the Barrel. You just proved my point, Kazzle. We are friends."

You got up from your chair and stood next to him. You glanced at the contents of his drawer and frowned, noticing something familiar. You reached for a small silver box with his REAL initials on it, but the man slammed the drawer shut before you could get your hands on the find. You snorted indignantly as you noticed the smug smirk on his face as he nearly clipped your fingers for your meddling.

Kaz Brekker was sentimental enough to keep the ashtray you gave him.

You involuntarily remembered what you told him when you handed it to him.

"I know you don't smoke and don't celebrate your birthday, but I think that's a pretty nice metaphor and the closure you need."

"What? An old ashtray from the market? Which you probably swept from under the noses of some heavy smokers."

"No, genius, in case you haven't noticed, it has a special engraving. Read it."

"For K.R., let him rest in peace. What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can consider it what you want. A keepsake of your former self, a lost life you might have had, an urn for the ashes of your former self... we both know you're not the same man you used to be. And you have every right to be, Kaz. It's just... I think you deserve something commemorating your old self. The boy who stole half-rotten apples with me to survive. Now you are someone else—someone stronger, wiser, cunninger... but know that I will never forget Kaz, who was my only light when I was at my worst."

"That's pretty sentimental for you. Also, calling me light is not quite an appropriate metaphor." he replied coolly, returning to his book.

You nodded to him, saying goodbye. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stroke a silver object for a moment and put it in his pants pocket. You smiled. Apparently, you weren't the only sentimental fool in Ketterdam.

"Then, as my friend, you won't mind telling me about that strange connection between you and the Darkling that keeps you from sleeping without threatening to set my club on fire with your dazzling moonlight?" he asked, snapping you out of your flashback.

"No, because, as my friend, you won't be nosy, and out of politeness, you won't ask."

"I anticipated this reaction. That's why I got this." a velvet ring box magically appeared in his hands.

"Are you going to propose to me? Oh, Kazzie, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! You don't have to kneel, sweetheart. We can call Jes, and he'll do it for you. It's a perfect opportunity for him to practice before asking Wylan."

"Can you be serious for just one moment, please?" he asked, blushing slightly and trying to give you one of his famous menacing looks.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, you could have foreseen in that plan of yours that I would never waste such an opportunity."

"Just open it." he sighed, tossing you the box. Too curious to find out what was inside, you decided to leave the poor boy alone and refrained from commenting further. You widened your eyes as you saw the real ring. "What? No enthusiastic and loud: "Yes, Kazzie, I'll marry you!", so my crows can tease me about it too? To be honest, I'm disappointed, Y/N."

"Well, I could have been joking about it when I didn't have a ridiculously beautiful ring in front of me. Sorry that I'm a little confused, Kaz."

"It's good you like it, but I'd rather know if it works as it should. Put it on your finger."

"As romantic as always." you murmured, trying on a silver ring with an opal and small diamonds around the stone. You raised your hand and, by using your power, increased the light reflected by the moon that was still in the sky so it could illuminate your new jewelry. "It's beautiful, but I have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to do."

"Protect you." you glanced back at Kaz, only to discover that he had been staring at you the entire time. The white sparkles in his eyes caused by your light captivated you more than the shining diamonds. You shook your head, remembering what happened the last time you gave in to your stupid crush.

"Protect me?"

"I've been doing some research with Alina and Nina about the bond between you and him, the amplifiers… we believe this will weaken the bond between you enough for you to sleep peacefully. He will not enter your mind uninvited." he said, spitting out the words about the Darkling like he was a plague. But you were more interested in something quite different from his open dislike of the Black Heretic.

"Why? Why are you getting through all of it for me? It's not your war to fight. You have no interest in it."

"I have. Since I got you out of the Little Palace, you've been my investment. And I protect everything I invest in and what's worth my time. No matter what."

"You do realize I won't bring you any profit? Alina would be a better choice than me." you questioned his choice. Kaz turned to the window, as if looking for Inej, whose arrival would interrupt this uncomfortable conversation.

Unfortunately for him, the saints had no watch over him. And one of them was waiting for him to gather his thoughts and answer her question. He had to do this without betraying the emotions that had been bubbling up inside him since he had first seen her at one of the Dreg's raids. He was lost the second he saw her and completely fated to love her after their first conversation.

But she couldn't know it.

She couldn't know that his heart was gone with her and that it took him ages to find himself after she disappeared. He promised himself to keep her away from him. To make sure he wouldn't fall for her beauty, mind, eyes, smile, and laugh like he had done as a child. But the second he saw her again, he knew that his heart was hers. Hers to keep, hold, break, play.

But she couldn't know it.... At least not now. Not when he had just snatched her from the Darkling's grasp.

Not when he wasn't ready to love her the way she should be loved.

"That's for me to evaluate and for you to make sure I won't regret this. Besides, I only invest in one-of-a-kind. I don't need more narcissistic saints to go into my office like it was their own." he said after a long silence, without taking his eyes off the window.

He was afraid that his eyes would betray the truth hidden in his stupid heart. He was grateful to all above that she wasn't a heartrender and couldn't feel his treacherous heart beating madly every time he looked at her. He just had to make sure Nina didn't reveal his little secret. He didn't know that the woman had been blackmailed into a similar case by the moon summoner.

"So I'm pretty lucky. I would die if I had to sleep on those inconvenient motel beds."

"Considering how much sleep you actually get, you're unlikely to notice a difference." you gasped, feigning indignation at the mischievous, amused tone of his voice.

"You're a cruel bastard, Kaz Brekker." he finally turned to you with a small smirk on his face. You giggled, only widening his smile.

"Go and check your ring. I hope you won't be threatened by any ugly faces."

"Yes, boss." you saluted, walking towards the door. You opened it and were about to leave when an idea popped into your head. You leaned against the door frame, looking at the man taking his place at the desk. "Kazzie?" you asked sweetly, biting your lip to keep from laughing too soon. The Bastard of the Barrel gave you a questioning look, fearing the familiar tone of your voice and the question coming. "As your fiancée, am I going to get half of your club?"

"Over my dead, cold body." he replied without a second of hesitation, perfectly prepared for such a provocation from your side.

"You know, you need to work on sharing if you plan to be husband material in the future. I feel sorry for your future spouse, unless it'll be your job."

"Go to sleep before I put you in bed myself."

"You should know better than to scare me with a good time, sweetheart!" you shouted back, leaving and pushing your way through the crowd of a few shocked Dregs who had probably heard the part about the fiancée and whom Kaz called to his office as soon as he saw them.

And as soon as he is done with them, Kaz will rip your legs out of your pretty ass. Even Alina and Nina will not be able to help you.

~•♤♤♤•~

The ring worked great. From that night on, you slept like a baby every day. The Darkling's face appeared only occasionally in your nightmares (both bloody ones and… more pleasant ones). But it wasn't REALLY him. Just a messed-up version of your sick imagination.

In the meantime, you trained with Alina and Nina (the woman needed the presence of other Grishas in Brekker's gang; besides, she was an amazing friend, and she also made wonderful waffles); you developed your powers; and you two gossiped with Genya, as she changed your looks every week so that no one would accidentally recognize you (by the way, you learned that David was heading this way to reunite with the love of his life).

You became close to Jes (you had the honor of being trained with HIS PISTOLS) and Inej, whose comforting company was invaluable (as well as the rooftop stealth lessons. Kaz cursed her after the first time you scared him by climbing through his office window and giving you a barrier. Of course you had your mind, and you didn't listen to him. Your unexpected visits to his office only became more frequent.)

So you could say that everything was on its way back to normality.

But it wasn't. Because one fine day, when the crows, Kaz, you, Alina, and Genya were eating breakfast at his club, someone showed up at your door.

Someone you didn't want to see more than the Darkling himself.

"What the fuck is she doing here, if I may culturally ask?" Alina gave you an apologetic look as Baghra walked casually into the crows' kitchen like she belonged here. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kaz taking any sharp metal objects from the table that you might have used to attack the woman.

You and Baghra had a rough relationship. Due to the fact that you and Aleksander were something, the woman did not look at you very favorably. You had no intention of fawning over a woman who wanted to kill her own son, either. Maybe your feelings for the Darkling were... unclear, but you wouldn't wish anyone, not even your worst enemy, a mother who was willing to stand against her own child, to spurn him instead of doing... anything to help him out of his darkness. It was not in line with your moral views. But no one here seemed to care since they invited the mother of Satan to your table.

"It's nice to see you too, Y/N."

"I don't even have enough respect for you to lie to you and admit that seeing you didn't ruin my day. I will ask one last time..." you got up from the table, shielding Kaz and the crows as you summoned your power. "What are you doing here?"

"My son is looking for you all over the world, do you think I won't try to get to you first before he does?"

"Oh, you've already shown how much you care about outdoing Kirigan in reaching us. I'm asking you, what do you want from us?"

"I came here for you. Because of you, child." you stiffened slightly, wondering what else the old woman had to say. But you would die before admitting that Baghra's help would be invaluable to your little band of rebels. Your pride was both your greatest strength and weakness.

"Well, excuse me, but I have more important things to do than listen to some old lady's ravings. I haven't finished my breakfast yet, and I'm far too sober for another conversation about how everyone wants to use me as a weapon."

"Every day I'm less surprised by how you ended up with my son. You two are a perfect match for each other." she snapped, annoyed at your indifferent attitude.

"I'd suggest you get to the point. You were the one who wanted to meet with us. As our moon summoner mentioned, we don't have to listen to you. And trust me, I have absolutely no intention of stopping her when she wants to kick you out of my club." Kaz stood next to you, measuring the woman with a watchful gaze.

You were proud that he believed in your and Alina's powers and wasn't afraid to provoke the shadow summoner in your presence. You cast a fleeting glance at him, watching as Baghra gave him an appraising look.

"Mr. Breaker. It would be better for you and your club if work with the summoners of the sun and moon ended in Ravka. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"I never make ill-considered decisions, and certainly not out of fear." he replied with his poker, business face.

"This is only a trait of the greatest winners or greatest losers."

"You don't have to worry about him. Mr. Brekker is always on the winning team." you answered for him, having had enough of this woman. Unfortunately, it looked like she wouldn't be leaving you so soon.

"Turn that light out, girl, before the Grishas swarm here. I won't hurt your boyfriend and his friends." you frowned as you heard Jes coughing in the background, trying not to laugh. With a wave of your hand, the white light around you vanished. You watched in displeasure as a smirk began to form on Baghra's lips.

"He is/I am not my/her boyfriend." together with Kaz, you both uttered these words as Baghra pushed past you. This caused you to turn to one another and exchange equally awkward, perplexed looks.

"Whatever, just get your lovebird butts over here." she murmured as she unfolded the map on the table and took a few items out of her bag. You snorted at seeing a small wooden statue of Aleksander.

It was going to be a long and tiring morning.

~•♤♤♤•~

"We have to hurry before your boy gets here. Good thing he is walking with the cane, at least it keeps him from sneaking up on us." Baghra growled at you. She'd only been here a week, and she'd already ruled everyone. You were no longer surprised at where Aleksander inherited his incredible self-confidence and arrogance.

"For the love of God, I'm telling you for the last time, KAZ IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. Besides, if I were you, I wouldn't underestimate him. You could actually learn from him. You'll need a cane soon, too."

"Can you two just stop arguing for once and focus on the task at hand?" the sun summoner lingered, following you to the basement of the Crow Club.

"I'm sorry, Alina, that I'd rather banter with that witch than figure out how to seduce her son, lull his guard down, pluck the antlers of a wonderful steg out of his hand, and break the link between us once and for all."

"Start by undoing a few buttons on your blouse and letting your hair down; that should be enough for him to lose his mind." she advised you, making you and Alina shudder, both equally abashed.

"Seriously?" you asked mockingly, giving her a disgusted look. Nevertheless, you followed the woman's suggestion. "What is the next step? Shall I wear some nice underwear?"

"Not necessarily, but it would be nice to take off that ring. I doubt Aleksander would appreciate that someone other than himself gave you such gaudy jewelry." you snorted, taking off the only thing keeping the Darkling from crossing the walls of your mind.

You bypassed Baghra's outstretched hand and handed the ring to Alina. The older woman snorted indignantly at what you stuck your tongue out at. She didn't expect you to trust her with anything, even something as small as Kaz's ring, right?

"Done. What's next?"

"You need to make a connection. Every time he thinks of you or you think of him, you seek each other out and make a link. Imagine his face, voice, and silhouette; recall some memory associated with him; do anything to have him in front of your eyes. It should work and take you to where he is now. Just like when you two were getting into each other's dreams before Mr. Brekker gave you this ring."

"I did not seek him of my own free will. It just happened." you defended yourself, not wanting anyone to think you were looking for the Darkling like a lost puppy.

"You know him. He will continue to invade your thoughts and your life to convince you of the error of your ways and choices. This ring can work now, but what happens when you two get stronger in the future? It will stop working. You will be condemned to endure his pervasive presence. In the morning, afternoon, nights, and midnights. He won't let you go. Never. You cannot extract the stag from your own body. So you must find a way to block him permanently. Not by some magic ring."

You sighed, realizing she was right. You will be free of him only when any bond between you is gone. The only thing you were afraid of was that it existed between you and the Darkling long before you killed the stag...

Darkness and its light. Moon and shadow. Destined to be together. United at the end of the day.

"And what if I fail and he chokes me, stabs me, or just uses the cut on me?"

"We will observe the energy around you. If we see too many shadows or your light, we'll pull you out."

"All right. Let's get this over with." you sat down, leaning against the wall of the Crow Club basement, praying to all of Inej's mighty saints that your plan would work.

You closed your eyes, remembering the moment before your big performance at the winter fete.

You had to pretend that you didn't know Kaz, and then you had no idea what he was doing here wearing one of the soldiers uniforms. He promised to explain everything to you, but then Aleksander came.

"I'll take her from here." he said to Kaz, letting him know that he was no longer needed.

But he has not left you. Aleksander ignored him, examining your kefta carefully. It was beautiful. Genya decorated it with silver threads and embroidered stars and moons in different phases. However, the fact that probably delighted him the most was its black (but actually dark navy blue) color. But he didn't care about the true color of your kefta as long as it looked black to any other observer.

A clear signal that you were his moon.

"I have something for you." he whispered as he leaned closer to you so that your noses were practically touching. He pulled something shiny out of his sleeve. He held the silver chain up to your eye level so you could see the pendant. Moon with a star. You shifted your gaze from the shiny object to those mesmerizing black eyes staring at you in pure adoration. "I know you're practically festooned with these symbols, but I wanted you to know..." he interrupted, brushing your hair over one shoulder so he could place the necklace over your neck. He planted a quick, tender kiss on your nape as he clicked the silver jewelry. "That you're not just a Saint Y/N, summoner of the moon. You're mine moonlight in the worst darkness of mine. My hope and peace. The only light I let through my shadows."

You grabbed the pendant, noticing your initials carved into the back of the moon.

"It's beautiful." you turned in his arms to whisper in his ear, making him shiver as you kissed his earlobe. "Aleksander..."

~•♤♤♤•~

You opened your eyes.

A dim light illuminated Kirigan's war room.

You did it. Now all you had to do was seduce him. Piece of cake.

You let yourself watch him flick through some papers, wrinkling his nose and occasionally running a hand through his hair. The exact same one with the stag antler still stuck in it. You shook your head, remembering your task. You had to outsmart him. And in such a wise way that it didn't cross his mind that you might have bad intentions towards him.

"Aleksander." you whispered as you stepped out of the shadows. The man either really didn't notice you or he was a brilliant actor, judging by the pure shock that painted his face the moment he turned to meet your gaze. "You seem surprised to see me."

"I am." his mask of indifference and self-confidence quickly fell back into place. "But perhaps I shouldn't be. I should have known you'd prove to be an apt pupil. Not many can learn that trick." he placed the papers on the desk and leaned against it. "But after our last meeting, I had the impression that you didn't want to see me again. What changed your mind to seek me out?"

"I hate to say this, but I realized you were right."

"How so?" he began to watch you with interest, too curious to know what you were going to say to repay you for stabbing him last time. The fact that he didn't pounce on you with his shadows the moment he saw you gave you an odd sense of confidence. Maybe you could have made it.

"I was meant for more. And you were the first person to see me as I truly am. First to help me realize what I'm meant for. First to tech me how to use my power and how to see it as something more incredible than terrifying. First to see, I was more than a scared little girl. That I was powerful Grisha and I can do anything I want." with every word you said and every step you took towards him, you could see his mask crack open, revealing his true emotions. However, there was still a shadow of uncertainty and suspicion in his eyes. You had to remove it if you wanted to win this battle.

"Was I? And what about Alina? Or your helpful friends that take you away from Little Palace?" you hoped you didn't show that his words affected you. You were afraid that somehow he might have discovered a little help from Kaz and his crows.

"They… they don't understand the power growing within me. I thought that Alina might share my feelings, but … it seems to me that we understand our possibilities completely differently when it comes to our powers. And my friends… I think they're more afraid of what I can do than admire it as… as you did."

"That's not their fault. I did try to warn you. Tried to explain that with so much power that flows in our veins, usually comes fear from the side of our loved ones."

"I know. I think I'm starting to finally understand that now." you took one slow step towards him, feeling his watchful gaze on you. "There are no others like us, and they never will be. We are connected by our powers. Alina can live without us, but you and me… you and me are destined to work together and to stand by our sides. There is no darkness without light, but it's the moon that brings it into the night and that lives among the shadows, working with them… Like calls to like, right, Aleksander?"

In his eyes, you could see how much he wanted to believe you, how much he wanted the words you said to be true... but you knew that Aleksander lived too long to believe only empty words. He needed conclusive proof that you were on his side and that you were only his moon. And you had to convince him somehow.

"As I delighted as I am that you found your way to me, what do you want?"

"That thing that binds us. I think you fear it more than you actually care to admit."

"I fear everything there is to fear; it makes me strong. I understand things about power that you've had years yet to learn, moonlight."

"Well, as you said, with a good teacher, I'm a very apt pupil. But I think we both know… that it's not all about power, though, is it?" you walked the distance between you two and stood chest-to-chest with him. "What about the other bond we share? That one I was avoiding for too long." you slowly cup his cheek, making him close his eyes at the touch of your soft skin. You tenderly stroked one of his black scars on his cheek, which made the Black Heretic sighe in relief. "I want you, Aleksander." he opened his eyes, looking at you in disbelief when he tried to seek any sight of lies on your face. "And being in your presence terrifies me as much as making me feel… like I finally belonged somewhere. Like I was made by saints to be next to you. It felt... right in some crazy way."

"Love is for madmen, Y/N. And I've already told you…" you shivered as his cold fingertips touched the hot skin of your neck. His fingers went to the silver necklace—your only sin against your friends. He took the pendant in his hands and kissed it, not taking his eyes off yours. "You're my moonlight. Nothing has changed, and I doubt it ever will... for both of us."

You pulled him by the hair to connect your lips in a long-awaited kiss, too annoyed with how long you had to work him out. (Or too scared that his words are true.) You moaned as he bit your lips, and in one sweeping motion, he scooped you up off the floor and sat you on his desk.

He pulled away from you, dropping his kefta on the floor, and went back to kissing you as if you were the only one that mattered in this world. But the next amplifier's whereabouts map you laid on as he kissed your soul out of you was a glaring reminder that you could never have truly had him.

You would never be his first choice.

"Forgive me for stabbing you, then." you whispered into his mouth as you broke apart for a moment to catch your breath. He pressed into you more fervently than before, caressing your waist tenderly.

"I will have kissed these tempting, sweet lips, even if it means I'll get stabbed by you, every time I do it."

That was good to know, you thought, throwing your arms around his shoulders and slowly pulling out the dagger from your sleeve as he continued to kiss you greedily, like he wanted to sate himself with you while he still had you in his arms.

"Your words, not mine." you murmured, catching his mouth with yours while driving the dagger into his hand. He snarled, breaking away from you and trying in vain to yank the metal out of your hand. You tried to pry the last stag's bone out of him.

But suddenly, just as you were about to do it, you find yourself back in the basement of the Crows Club.

You were breathing fast, frantically looking around the room. Kaz was kneeling a step away from you and watching you worriedly as you tried to calm down.

From the cane that was on your leg and his firm grip on your arm, you figured out pretty quickly why you suddenly came back. You yanked your arm from his hand in your anger, forgetting his phobia of touch and how much of an achievement it was for him to hold your arm.

"What the hell, Brekker?! I had him! I could end this right there! UGH! Why did you let him break our connection?!" you screamed in frustration, looking resentfully at Alina and Baghra.

"You nearly blew yourself out with your power, and they couldn't bring you back."

"I had it under control, Kaz!"

"Oh, really?" he asked mockingly, struggling to his feet with the help of his cane and walking over to you with equal anger painted in his eyes. "Because it didn't look good from my point of view. You could have blown up the whole club..."

"Of course you would only care about your stupid, fucking club! Forgive me, Dirtyhands. Next time I'm going to save the damn world from the Darkling, I'll pick up a place other than one of your fucking bases!" you yelled at him, pushing past a shocked Alina and Baghra.

"Y/N, come back here!" he shouted after you. The distinctive sound of his cane told you he was following you.

"I'm not your fucking property, Brekker! I can go anywhere I want!" you screamed, running as fast and far for him as you could, thanking everyone above that Brekker wasn't able to catch up with you. You needed a moment to yourself. And you only knew one place in all of Ketterdam where you could be truly alone.

~•♤♤♤•~

For a long time, you hated harbour. It was a reminder of your weakness—a reminder of a girl who got kidnapped by slave hunters. Then you met Aleksander and became one of the strongest Grisha. From then harbour was for you to remind you of the birth of Saint Y/N. Moon summoner. It was funny for you to see how easy it is to get on the ship and go anywhere you want. Be anyone you want. But you don't have this choice anymore. Not until your past stops chasing you whenever you close your eyes.

"I knew you'd be here." Kaz's voice below you made you shiver, but you didn't grace him with your gaze. "You'd be too merciful to me by choosing an easily accessible spot, wouldn't you?" he grumbled as he clambered next to you on the crates of goods. He sighed as he managed to climb up. He tossed his cane, catching it spectacularly and resting it against the crate beneath you. He leaned forward, staring out at the harbour with you, when the wind blew his hair, messing up his always perfectly styled hairdo.

"Nobody made you follow me around, Kazzle." you murmured, casting a fleeting glance at him, grinning mischievously at how tired he was of climbing crates. Someone here was in bad shape. Brekker must sit with these plans and papers for too long.

"I did." you turned your head to meet his piercing gaze. "I already told you. I take care of my investments."

"Maybe you're making a mistake."

"I'm never mistaken. I know when and how much to invest in something valuable."

"But what if I'm a lost cause? What if you're wrong this time? Why do you think I'm done with the Darkling? Me and him have so much in common... what if I become like him? Are you not afraid? That one day, in my naiveté, I'd decide Kirigan was worth a second chance and betray you? That one day I'll stop controlling my power and that I'll hurt you? How can you sit here so calmly and..."

"Because I know you better than myself. I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you."

You swallowed, looking down in embarrassment. You didn't deserve this.

"I get caught up in it sometimes. That I return with memories to the Little Palace. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent all this. How could I reason with him, what could I do to dissuade him from his plans. How to behave, what to say out loud, and what to keep to yourself. And I'm furious with Baghra that, being his mother, she didn't fight for him to the end; she gave up before we could do ANYTHING for him together. And I curse myself every time I feel guilty, knowing that I left him utterly alone. So tell me, Kaz, knowing now all these doubts growing within me, do you still believe in me?"

The killing silence told you everything you wanted to know.

"Come on. Go right ahead, Kazzie. Call me a fool, an idiot who wants to believe that everyone deserves someone close, someone they can trust. Who stupidly believes in giving people a second chance." you said, afraid to look up to see the revulsion in the eyes of the only person you could always count on.

Kaz said your name, but you ignored him completely, feeling tears slowly welling up in your eyes. Suddenly you felt the cold steel crow's head of his cane under your chin. Brekker forced you to look into his eyes. And you thanked all the saints for the tenderness that was still present in them.

"You know, I don't think that about you. You are a Grisha. The moon summoner. The only beacon of hope in the darkness. I think that in your job description lies faith even in the most deprived, lost, and broken souls."

"I didn't know that poetic side of you, Brekker."

"I've changed since the last time you saw me."

"Really?" you asked, nodding at his gloves and cane. He caught your eye, gripping the crow's head tighter. "Hey. You have every right to do that, Kaz, okay? I was kidding, and I didn't know it was still a sensitive subject. I'm sorry. Apart from that, I can name more. For example, you still have a stick in your ass when it comes to pranks. It was too easy to get on your nerves with Jes." you said, trying to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

"Looking now at you, it's better for humanity that you haven't become a saint. Saints, protect some wretch who would have asked you for help." you smiled at him, glad he understood your intentions.

"Now, I feel hurt, Kazzie. Wouldn't you pray to me if they hung my holy image up here somewhere?" you asked, offended, putting your hand over your heart.

He knew he would spend hours, days, and weeks praying to her, only to see her face again and hear the voice of the Saint of his heart...

"No. No saint has ever watched over me. It wouldn't make sense to pray to you either. Especially since I knew you personally before you became a mighty Grisha."

"Well, I'm no saint yet, but since I'm your newest investment, I guess that means I'm supposed to serve you in some way. And since I'm not going to be your errand dog or spy crow, I guess a good compromise would be if I became your bodyguard. Then you can't say that there's no saint watching over you."

"I don't need a guardian angel."

"It's good then that I'm far from being an angel." you stared at each other, the wind blowing your hair, as you enjoyed the understanding between you and the unspoken acknowledgment of your closeness.

Kaz Brekker could not have a weakness. This city would use it against him very quickly. But he felt that perhaps his weakness could be powerful enough to be his greatest asset instead of his darkest burden. Maybe he didn't have to worry about her that much.

"Ketterdam was boring without you. It was also harder to work without your… skills." he said uncertainly, averting his gaze from your piercing, mesmerizing eyes.

"Is that your way to tell me you missed me?" you were teasing him and pushing his cane. He almost fell over when you broke his only support. You almost couldn't prevent yourself from laughing.

"We could have gained much more kruge if you had been here."

"I didn't want to leave." you whispered, involuntarily remembering the day they kidnapped you.

"I know." he leaned towards you, forcing you to look into his eyes. "You don't have to worry about them. I made sure they were six feet deep underground before you even set foot in Ketterdam." your heart warmed at the thought that he was chasing them for you.

He made sure you were 100% safe and comfortable before he brought you back home. Home. You didn't think you'd find him among the crows, thieves, and the Dreg Club. You didn't think you'd feel this way about him—one of the men whose lifestyle was far from normal and safe.

"You're getting soft in your old age, Brekker." you replied with a half smile, holding back unwanted tears. You weren't that weak girl anymore. You were Grisha. And thanks to the man sitting next to you, you were (almost) free. You grabbed his cane, right next to the crow's head, where Kaz's hands were. His gaze flicked to where your hands were so close together. He turned his head to meet your watery eyes. "Thank you, Kaz. For everything. It means a lot to me. Even if it was foolish to break into the Darkling's palace and kidnap us like sacks of potatoes."

"It was the perfect plan! Nobody noticed us." he was indignant, immediately defending his action.

"Yeah, but what I and Alina get hit with every time Jesper and you steer that wooden cart over rocks is ours. You could really choose a path that wasn't made of stones."

"Next time, it's up to you to make a plan to escape the 500-year-old shadow summoner. We'll see how you do." he snorted, offended, but didn't move an inch. Contrary. His hand moved closer to yours, wrapping precariously around yours on his cane.

"Less than a week back in Ketterdam, and you're already letting me into your plans? Aww, I love you too, Kazzie."

He would give all the kruge of this world to hear those words from you for the rest of his life... and it surprised him that he wasn't afraid to admit it to himself at all.

"And I almost forgot how annoying you can be."

"Don't worry. I have all the time in the world to shrink your inflated ego and remind you of that, boss." Kaz held his breath. He stared at you searchingly, trying to find in your face the answer to whatever question he was asking in his head. You unknowingly scooted closer to each other so that your shoulders rested against each other.

You were much closer to each other before. Kaz (on his good days) even felt comfortable hugging you for a while. After years apart, you thought it would take ages for him to get used to your presence again and the brief touch without going underwater with Jordi.

But you were here. Holding hands, leaning against each other, and staring into each other's eyes.

You shivered as you felt his breath against your cheek when he leaned a little closer to you, testing his border.

"You're shining." he whispered softly, hypnotized, afraid to break the silence between you.

"What?"

"Your eyes are shining." his trembling hand took your cheek as you were watching him speechless. Even in your wildest dreams, you wouldn't suppose he would hold you like that. He truly changed. He beat Pekka, and now the King of Ketterdam was fighting with his demons. You were so proud of him and also sad that you weren't with him at the beginning of his road to healing. "And the light is coming out of your skin. You're shining like a star for lost souls."

"You're not lost... not anymore." you whispered, your voice trembling, fully understanding what he had left unsaid.

"I was. But now the moonlight is lighting up Ketterdam's darkness again."

"Kaz... I..." you held your breath, staring at him in anticipation. You didn't know what for. All you knew was that taking your eyes off him for even a second was an unforgivable crime.

Your noses were almost touching, your lips were the closest you've known each other. And Kaz was as calm as if he'd never had a haphephobia. As if the situation with Jordi never happened. You were afraid his waters would finally rise, interrupting your moment, but as soon as your foreheads touched, all the logical thoughts in your head went to hell. It was just you and him.

And you would still enjoy that closeness if the sound of breaking glass and Jesper's curses hadn't driven you apart.

"Here you are! How the hell did you get in there?! Get down! We're leaving in half an hour!" Jesper shouted to you from below and disappeared as quickly as he appeared. You cleared your throat, realized what Jes said after a long moment.

"We are leaving?" you asked, surprised. Bastard didn't say a word about going anywhere.

"Yes. I'll explain everything to you on the ship." he gave you a brush-off as he began his downward journey.

"On the ship? Kaz, what have you planned?!" you shouted angry as you followed him.

~•♤♤♤•~

"This is the dumbest plan ever made, and believe me, I've been to more than one of his idiotic ideas." you said, pointing at the offended Kaz.

Your great friends (and Baghra) have decided to sneak into the Darkling's palace, steal his maps and war plans, and set the Little Palace on fire.

You started to doubt their good sanity... or sobriety.

"Sooner or later, we have to sneak in there. Aleksander has stolen from me all the books and records of our ancestors; he is in possession of immense power, and we can not allow him to make use of it." you clenched your fists, almost ready to pounce on the woman for revealing the Darkling's true name.

"Who is Aleksander?" you ignored Kaz's question, nervously twirling the ring he gave you on your finger.

"Was he able to steal something from YOU? And you let him do it? How surprised I am."

"What are you implying?"

"I implying that we are in some huge coach driven by your men, leaving Ketterdam on your initiative and entering the lion's mouth because you said so. In my place, you'd be suspicious too."

"The odds of me betraying you are as high as the odds that you will."

"And why is that?" you hissed, furious at how easily she got on your nerves.

"Aleksander has a knack for manipulating people. A few sweet words, and even your boyfriend won't be able to count on your devotion anymore."

"Watch your mouth. I'm not her boyfriend." Kaz growled, tensing up next to you, thereby stopping your quarrel. Baghra shrugged, continuing her quiet conversation with Alina. In your mind, you were planning the old lady's slow death until someone's hand grabbed yours in a strong grip.

You turned your head towards Kaz. He stared blankly out the window, completely ignoring your gaze. Instead, he started drawing circles on your palm, trying to calm you down somehow. You turned your head in the opposite direction, smiling to yourself at the tender gesture. Unbeknownst to you, Kaz had the same smirk as yours on his face.

The rest of the trip to the city was uneventful. As planned, Alina and you stayed in Baghra's secret stash while the rest went off to play heroes. Your job was to distract the Darkling, and Alina was supposed to watch over you.

You'd agree to their plan if your role wasn't just to stand by while others risked their lives trying to get the information you all needed.

But you decided not to argue with the others about it this time. After all, they couldn't control you once you got into the palace. You might as well have snooped around, looked for what you needed, and done most of the work for them. Closing your eyes and getting ready to connect with the Darkling, you only hoped that your little disobedience would go unnoticed.

~•♤♤♤•~

You just finished searching Kirigan's study, war room, and bedroom. You were on your way to the last room - the library, when you bumped into the one person you wanted to avoid.

You were paralysed as soon as you saw him walking down the hall. You hoped he wouldn't look in your direction, but the general (alert as always) glanced at you briefly before disappearing from your view. You had the faintest hope that he would think you were a vision, but all of it vanished when you felt a hand gently wrap around your neck and pin you against the wall.

"You either have too much free time or you enjoy haunting me at random times, little moon." you didn't answer, too scared that the moment he touched you, all your power took on a life of its own, merging with his shadows, as it usually does when your skins meet for the first time after a long separation. You were defenceless. Kirigan frowned, watching you with growing interest. "Speechless? Not any irritating responses? Do you fear me, Y/N?" his taunts brought you to your senses, forcing you to calm down immediately. You couldn't wait for Alina to be rescued. You had to fight him yourself.

"That's what you want, isn't it? To have everyone and everything under control, too scared to say or do anything against you."

"Fear is a powerful ally and also loyal."

"Not as loyal and lasting as love, trust, respect." you tried to break free from his grip, but all attempts to remove his hand from your neck proved futile. You were lucky that instead of tightening the grip and cutting off your air, he just wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you closer so that your faces were mere millimetres apart. "We could have had it, Aleksander. All of it. All you had to do was set me free and make me your equal."

"You'll come to feel it towards me someday. For now… even though I truly want to, I have no time for you, moonlight. Your friends are waiting for me. But don't get the wrong impression…" he leaned towards you, stroking your cheek tenderly as he whispered in your ear. "I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me."

You shivered as he kissed your temple, making this terrifying promise to you. At some point, his shadows enveloped you completely and sent you back to the room where you and Alina were hiding.

And after one look at the sun summoner, you both knew what you had to do.

~•♤♤♤•~

You couldn't remember the last time you ran so fast in your entire life. It must have been back in your Ketterdam days, doing some little errands for the Dregs.

But this time, you weren't running to save your life. You ran to save Kaz Brekker's ass, who was the only one (not counting Inej, who was already hidden somewhere with Alina, waiting for you in harbour) who didn't return from his mission. As you expected, everything went to hell without you, and if you and Alina hadn't arrived, half of the crows (including Baghra) would have been captured by Aleksander's grishas. You wouldn't feel sorry for the old woman, but Alina insisted on saving her.

Jes, Wylan, Nina and Baghra searched other parts of the Little Palace, trying to burn everything in their path. You could still make it. If only Brekker hadn't gotten lost in the meantime. You knew you should go with him. You've always been a team player, and pairing you with Alina for this mission and leaving you behind was their worst idea.

You promised yourself that the next time you'd strap that risky idiot to your hip.

That's why you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw him at the end of the corridor. But instead of running up to him and yelling at him for his thoughtlessness, you hid in the shadows as he backed away slowly. Someone had to catch him. You caught his eye for a moment, glad he noticed you and started to head your way. Thanks to this, you could assassinate his attacker and try to escape from the palace.

Piece of cake. If he wasn't talking to a fucking Darkling.

"I know you kidnapped my moon summoner. Now you're going to tell me where you stashed her." you cursed internally, feeling yourself start to panic. You guys were officially screwed.

"We didn't take her. She fled on her own." you marvelled at how Kaz could still keep his composure with an angry Darkling a few feet in front of him. Sometimes you forget how mentally strong he was.

"I don't doubt in it… where is she? I won't ask you again."

"I don't know. I don't own her… but it's pretty clear she wasn't interested in being a captive anymore."

Aleksander got even angrier at the little insinuation that Kaz took better care of you, that he didn't treat you like an asset, unlike the general. You cursed Dirtyhands for wanting to mock and taunt the Darkling, even though you could see that he wasn't so confident around him.

"I heard about you. And your crows. It would be a shame if something happened to such a talented group." the Darkling summoned some of his shadows, causing Kaz to back away and reach for the light grenade that you and Wylan had prepared. "It's good for you that you have the decency to show signs of fear."

"I'm afraid of what I must."

"And yet you are not so defenceless." Kaz raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Don't make a fool of yourself, Mr. Brekker. I can feel my moon's power everywhere. Especially when it's imbedded so much into one small object."

You tensed, remembering that you had given Kaz the necklace before he left for the Little Palace. A necklace whose pendant you poured so much moonlight into that no shadows could surround him while wearing it or only holding it.

Defence against the Darkling. Specially prepared for situations like this. However, handing it to him, you hoped the two would never meet, growling at each other like two rabid dogs.

"Y/N must have strong feelings for you to give you some of her power. And you for her. Putting your people and yourself at risk, your profit, your club. In the name of what, Mr. Brekker?"

"If you did thorough research on me, you'd know that all of Ketterdam knows I don't need a reason to do things."

"You'll never fully appreciate what she really is. But that's alright. Because I do." Aleksander let Dirtyhands' insult pass over his ears, trying to annoy him that much, so he let his guard down. You knew very well that method, just like you knew that Kaz wasn't foolish to fall for it.

"You've right. I'll never use her as a weapon or treat her like a saint. That's not what she wants. You may understand her powers, but you have no idea who she really is. What's in her mind. What are her dreams and desires. All you care about is her power, which I don't give a damn if she has or not. You see her only as a moon summoner. Not Y/N. You don't know the woman she was before Grisha's thing. You will never know how amazing and indescribable she was before Ravka. This is part of her that only I was allowed to see. You can't change the fact that I know her better than you."

"You're forgetting one important fact. You are a child, and she is Grisha. Y/N may take years to forgive me… but I can wait. Take away my shadows, and I still have something you don't. Time. Meanwhile, you will grow old. Your hair will grey, but she will remain ageless. Like me. Not mention your little inconvenience. Do you think you'll be able to touch her for more than a few minutes before your body grows old? That you'll be able to give her the life she deserves? We both know that one day, maybe a year from now, maybe fifty, she will realise that she has only one equal. There are no others like us, and there never will be. Even you can't change that, Mr. Brekker." he gave him a hostile look, laughing mockingly as he noticed that Kaz continued to back up with each step the Darkling took towards him until he did not stand in front of your hiding place. "Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. Time will do it for me." he summoned more of his shadows, wanting to scare him with his power. You three knew very well that with your necklace around his neck, no cut would kill him."You should have stayed in Ketterdam, Mr. Brekker."

At this point, you both decided to step in. Kaz threw his grenade, and you summoned your power, blinding the two of them. You grabbed Kaz's arm, and you both ran (as fast as his leg would allow). You stopped only a few corridors and stairs further, at the crossroads where you were all supposed to meet. Along the way, you avoided several fires that the tidemakers were busy with.

"What are you doing here?!" he growled furiously at you as you finally stopped, only making you more angry at his recklessness and attitude. He attacked and insulted the most powerful grisha. An 18-year-old with a cane and no powers.

"What am I doing here?! You tell me, what are you doing! You made him mad for no reason! You think now that he knows your identities, he'll let you go so easily? He will hunt you as long as he lives, just like me and Alina! Congratulations, Brekker!"

"I knew the risk." he replied angrily, looking around all four corridors.

"No, you didn't. You'd know a flimsy toy like that one, fucking grenade wouldn't be enough for him with all the amplifiers he's got."

"Well, I guess your little gift was strong enough to protect me. Which brings me to the question… why am I the only one blessed with this power from you?" he asked as he walked over to you, standing a few inches in front of you. You were both panting with quick anger, rage, and adrenaline, which was slowly draining from your systems.

"It's not your business, Brekker." you growled into his face and took a step, trying to avoid him, but his firm grip on your elbow stopped you.

You turned to face him, ready to yank your arm out of his grip and scream at him to fuck off, but all thoughts flew out of your head as soon as you looked into his mesmerising eyes, which were looking at you with concern and… love.

"It is my business." he leaned closer to you, just enough for you to feel his warmth and his scent, and far enough away not to touch you any more than he already did. "You... you're my most important business. And if something happens to you, if he catches you again..." he sighed, shaking his head, trying to find the right words as he licked his annoyed lips, unconsciously drawing your gaze to them and making you hold your breath for a moment, wanting something as forbidden and holy as kissing them. "I don't know how to... express my feelings. I don't know if I even understand them well enough. All I know is that I would rather die than see you enslaved and sorrowful... and it pains me to know that I'm too weak to protect you. That I'll always be too weak FOR YOU."

"You are literally everything but weak. In my eyes, you're the strongest person I know, Kaz. One of the very few to whom I would entrust my life in the blink of an eye."

"And yet I'm not enough for Grisha's love."

"How could you not be enough for something you already have?" Kaz's head snapped up as he watched you, befuddled in complete silence. You hesitantly reached for his hand, giving him enough time to pull away. He did not do. "And because I love you, I cannot be selfish with you. I cannot risk your life just because I have loved you since we were stupid teenagers." he squeezed your hand, too overwhelmed by his emotions to say anything. Fortunately, you understood him without any words.

Slowly, as if time had slowed down just for you two, he leaned towards you, resting his forehead against yours. You stood like that for a moment, enjoying the other's presence, forgetting that the palace was burning around you and probably 100 Grishas were chasing you.

"I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us." you promised him, whispering with your eyes still closed. "And for that to happen, I have to stay here. I have to make sure he doesn't go after you, that he will be distracted by me instead of planning your death.." you were about to extricate yourself from his grip, but the man only pulled you closer to him, not wanting to let you go.

"Please, don't. Stay with me. You're not a saint or a hero. You said it yourself. More than I could count."

"Kaz…" you took the ring off and put it on his little finger. "Keep it for me until I'm back. As a promise that whatever is going to happen next… I will be back for you." testing your luck, you placed a quick, tender kiss on his finger, feeling him tremble under your lips.

Before you got a chance to change your mind, you ran in the opposite direction, following the voice of the fighting Grishas.

You didn't turn around. You didn't steal a second glance at him, even though you knew he was watching you until you were out of sight. You knew the moment you looked into his eyes again, you'd change your mind.

You had to be strong.

For both of you. For your common future.

~•♤♤♤•~

When you regained consciousness, you weren't surprised that your hands had been handcuffed, so you couldn't use your powers. You were surprised to be greeted by the familiar sheets of Aleksander's comfortable bed.

And the Darkling himself was lying right next to you with his face towards you.

His eyes were closed, giving you a good look at the darker shadows under his eyes than before. Without knowing why, they disturbed you more than those lazily hovering around the bed. For a moment, you listened to his measured, calm breathing, which would probably confuse anyone else and give the illusory belief that the man next to you is sleeping. But you knew him much better than to fall for such a simple trick.

"I know how you breathe when you're sleeping, Aleksander."

"Maybe I was trying to fall asleep."

"Wearing a kefta? Doubtful." he opened one eye, staring at you silently. You felt your heart start beating faster from the nerves. You had no idea why you were here. Or at least you didn't want to admit it to yourself, so you decided to play the fool. "Are the dungeons undergoing some kind of refurbishment, or are they so full that you haven't found another place for me?"

He stared at you silently, deep in thought. He took his time to answer, playing with the strands of your hair that had escaped your bun from an earlier fight.

"It didn't seem like the right place for you" he finally whispered, making you even more suspicious.

"And where is my right place? After I stabbed you in the back so many times? In your bed? In your arms? As a weapon for your use? Where do you see me, Aleksander?"

"By my side. I've always seen you by my side." he answered at once, without a trace of hesitation in his voice. His shadow circled the room, caressing you from time to time. You didn't know if he was planning to let your guard down or if he had completely lost his mind.

"I don't understand. You should be mad at me. Why don't you hate me? Why are you still looking at me like... like you really have feelings for me? This is another one of your games, right? You want me to go completely crazy this time, don't you?"

"No, my little saint moon." he whispered, undaunted by your anger, gently cupping your chin so you had to look him in the eye. "All I ever wanted was someone equal to me. Why should I get mad at you when all you're doing is trying to find your way to me?"

"I don't…"

"Then why did you let them catch you? Don't try to lie to me, Y/N. I was there. I saw with my own eyes how you backed away from running away at the last moment. Why?"

"You know why." you whispered in a shaky voice. You closed your eyes, trying to protect yourself from the Black Heretic's penetrating gaze and show him the tears beginning to form in your eyes. "I have a million reasons why I should give you up, why I should hate you more than anyone else, but the truth is… my heart wants what it wants. And I don't think I can resist this anymore." you couldn't control your tears, but from the tender touch of his hand as he wiped them from your cheek and the clank of the handcuffs opening, you figured they were necessary for him to believe you.

"You have no idea how long…"

"No." you cut him off before he could say anything more." I have one question for you. Answer it right, and I'll forget about the last few months. Answer it right, and I promise you that you will never have to be alone again, that I'll always be by your side, along with your shadows and everything else that you truly are. That I will accept my destiny as being your moon. I won't let anyone scare me away from you ever again. I just… I need you to be completely honest with me. This one time." you cursed yourself at how weak your voice sounded when he grabbed your hand, kissing tenderly the places where the handcuffs were marked. "You don't have to tell me your whole plan; I just want to know… are all of these lies, battles, wars, deaths… just to keep the Grishas safe? You have no other intention behind this than to give our people home, where they don't have to be afraid of people who hate us and our powers?"

"I swear to you, my little moonstone, there is no other reason. I'm not a maniac drunk on power, as everybody tells you. I just want our people to be safe; I want to give them a world where we can explore the abilities of our power without fear of getting killed for being extraordinary. I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust."

"Good." you nodded, cupping his cheek as you pulled him closer to you, so your lips caught each other again.

And maybe it was naive to think he bought your story about being completely devoted to him; maybe it was just another one of his games; maybe this time he really believed your words. Or maybe he was tired of pretending you didn't feel that strange attraction every time you were together.

You did not know. And you didn't want to know.

You gave into that burning desire every time you were near him, explaining to yourself that you had to earn his trust.

But there was much more to this one kiss than just lust.

It was a promise to you.

You will break his heart and make him hate you. You will drive him mad, drive him away, and then he will cast you out. Aleksander will come to think of you not as his lover but as his greatest enemy. Alina, Baghra and you gonna end the circle of unnecessary deaths.

And then you will finally be free...

Or at least... you will kill you both while trying to hate him as you should from the beginning.

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happyyyandcrazyyy · 2 years

Text

three taps (kaz brekker x reader)

summary: kaz taps three times. it’s his way to say i love you, i care.

the three times it took jesper to realize that three taps were something more than a meaningless habit.

warnings: violence, blood, implied se*ual as*ault (not detailed at all and very brief)

a/n: did i write this in less than a day? yes. did the inspiration come to me at six am? also yes. what about your other 50 wip, anna? did you write anything for them? nope.

hope you enjoyed reading this one as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

i. tap, tap, tap

Jesper had seen him do it more times than he could count. It was Kaz’s thing. Three taps, index finger hitting a wooden table, thumb brushing against a map or cane harshly meeting the floor. Most times they were fast taps, like a subconscious action, coming and going before anyone could give it any mind. Other times, however, they were slower, more emphasized, as if trying to make a point. Jesper was used to the taps, as he imagined (Y/N) and Inej also were. The sound came prior to every heist, prior to pronouncing the words of luck (no mourners, no funerals).

It was Kaz’s habit, something he probably did without even realizing, and Jesper couldn’t help but find it oddly comforting, a routine that somehow eased his nerves. (The world could be going to war, Ketterdam could be crashing down in flames, and Kaz would still tap three times. There was a sense of safety in that.)

It wasn’t until Jesper had a closer look that he realized the action was perhaps not as meaningless as he believed.

ii. cane meets ground three times: come back to me, i’m here

(Y/N) had known Kaz the longest out of all of them. Jesper hadn’t known the Slat without her, he hadn’t known Kaz without her. She’d always been there, a person in which the Dregs often found solace and always obtained an ear to listen without judgment. (Y/N) was a walking contradiction, soft around the edges yet powerful enough to bring the toughest people to their knees. She was everything Kaz wasn’t, maybe that was the reason they complimented each other as well as they did.

In a place where kindness was rewarded with death (Y/N) was unusually good-natured. Stray kids in the Barrel knew to find her if they were ever in urgent need of food or shelter. To outsiders she might’ve looked frail, her kindness might’ve made her seem weak, but the people of the underworld knew better than to be fooled by her selfless actions and innocent appearance. (Y/N) had an innate talent for causing people’s demise and there wasn’t a line she wasn’t willing to cross. The gentleness in her eyes would immediately harden at the sight of any threat, like molten lava hitting cold air. People who double-crossed her didn’t live to tell the tale.

Jesper wasn’t quite sure how Kaz and (Y/N) had met. From the whispers he’d heard around the Slat he figured it hadn’t been a pleasant experience. (Y/N) didn’t really discuss her life before joining the Dregs, not even when some of them would gather around to drink and curse the ghosts of the past.

Only once had Jesper gathered enough courage to break past the personal boundaries she’d clearly set and ask.

(And he’d only done it because he’d been almost drunk and really really curious.)

Kaz had been there, quietly observing as he often did, when the words had fallen out of Jesper’s mouth. He’d frozen in place, even when the question hadn’t been directed towards him, jaw tightening. Jesper had noticed Kaz’s instinctive response— because he might’ve been careless and drunk but he was also keenly observant —and that had him sobering up enough to know he was treading in dangerous territory.

No one had ever asked her directly, he’d realized at that moment as he held his breath and awaited a response. Many gossiped and guessed but no one had ever walked up to her and asked her about her past.

The softness hadn’t left (Y/N)’s face, but it was evident that the question had taken her by surprise because she’d frozen mid-action for a split second and something in her features broke. For the first time since he’d known her, Jesper saw the exhaustion and affliction in her eyes. The glint had disappeared as soon as it’d come, (Y/N) had regained her composure lightning fast, and Jesper had wondered if it’d ever been there at all.

She’d looked behind his shoulder at Kaz and they’d shared a look, one that Jesper couldn’t quite decipher. Something must’ve been telepathically said because the grip that Kaz had on his cane had lessened. His eyes, however, didn’t lose the murderous glint in them. Whatever he was remembering had fury roaring through his mind.

(It was only then that Jesper had understood that Kaz hadn’t been angered by his question but rather by the memories that had resurfaced. It must’ve been really serious because the only other time Jesper had ever seen that look in Kaz’s eyes Inej had been hurt and a guy had lost his eye.)

“I was a slave, Jes.”

Jesper did not know what he’d been expecting but that certainly hadn’t been it. As (Y/N) had pronounced the words a shadow crossed her face. It was the way she’d looked away from him, in discomfort and embarrassment, that had realization striking him like lighting. The weight of her words had settled in and Jesper understood, somewhat suddenly, what type of slave she’d been; the type to be used and discarded for the pleasure of rich men, sold and bought as if worth nothing more than an object. The burns and scars on her chest had suddenly made sense.

“It was a long time ago,” she’d added, eyes slightly glazed over, like she was physically there but mentally elsewhere. “And those men,” her eyes had flickered to Kaz before settling back on him, “they’re dead.”

More than dead if Kaz had something to do with it, Jesper had imagined.

Jesper had no way of knowing of the images flashing through her mind (pain, blood, and filthy hands. moans, tears, and screams) but he had recognized the unfocused gaze and the shaking fists by her side as her body’s response to reliving the trauma.

Jesper had never wished he could take back his words more than at that precise moment.

He’d opened his mouth to say something, anything to make the haunted look on her face dissipate, to lessen the burned he just had realized she carried, but Kaz had beaten him to it.

Tap, tap, tap.

Gently, he’d poked the floor with the ferrule of the cane. The metal had hit the ground heavily, the thud resonating. Kaz’s eyes, Jesper had noticed, remained trained solely on (Y/N), eyebrows furrowed in something that might’ve been concern.

The sound had somehow snapped through the haze of memories and had managed to bring her back to them. (Y/N) had blinked the stupor away, once again in a surprisingly fast manner, before offering Jesper a smile that had every word dying at the back of his throat.

It was small and unbelievably sad, but genuine. It was enough for him to know that she didn’t resent him for asking.

“It was a long time ago,” she’d repeated, almost to herself. Then, she’d tapped the table three times, softly. Jesper wouldn’t have noticed the action if he hadn’t been hyperaware of his surroundings.

At the moment it’d seemed like a coincidence, like (Y/N) had mimicked Kaz’s habit to anchor herself back, but as Jesper laid awake later that night he’d realized it hadn’t been just that.

She’d turned to briefly look at Kaz after doing it. If Jesper had been soberer maybe he would’ve realized that Kaz had said something and (Y/N) had responded.

iii. foot meets floor three times: i’m worried, be safe

Getting shot at was always a nuisance, so it was a true inconvenience that (Y/N) appeared to be a bullet magnet.

Really, the girl had more bullet wounds than Jesper could count. (There were two on her left shoulder, close enough to overlap, and one on her right one. There was one on her upper thigh— which Jesper had never seen but Inej said was almost unnoticeable —and the graze on her left side). Despite her bad luck Jesper reckoned (Y/N) had some sort of Saint looking over her because, somehow, the bullets always missed any important organ.

(“I’m saving you for getting hit,” she’d once joked as Inej changed the bandage on her shoulder. “So, really, you all should be thanking me rather than worrying.”

Jesper would never admit it, but sometimes he thought about her words in a serious manner. Sometimes, as he gambled and his mind slipped away, he believed that (Y/N) somehow deflected the bullets off them and ended up unwillingly pulling them towards her.

It was insane and improbable, Jesper knew that, but he still believed it.)

None of her injuries, however, had ever been as bad as the one she’d suffered two months ago. It’d been a close-range shot and the bullet hadn’t pierced cleanly through the skin but rather had settled inside. It’d missed any major artery, by some sort of miracle, but the wound had gotten infected which had resulted in (Y/N) running a high fever for almost a week.

Kaz hadn’t said a word but Jesper knew he’d been restless, especially during the worst days of the infection when (Y/N) dying was more likely than not. Jesper had seen him pacing back and forth outside of (Y/N)’s room, cane tapping thrice against the wooden floor, never going in but peaking through the door whenever Nina or Inej left. It was odd to see their unshakable leader looking somewhat distraught. Maybe that was why he seemed so on edge now. It was (Y/N)’s first heist after the injury.

Jesper would lie if he said that he wasn’t worried. With her luck, she might end up getting shot tonight, again. He kept on looking at her from the corner of his eye, half expecting her to start bleeding out like she’d done all those months back.

(The image of blood slipping past her lips and her wide eyes was burned in the back of Jesper’s mind. He could still feel the blood soaking his shirt as he’d held her together with his bare hands.)

But (Y/N) remained excitedly rocking on her heels, twirling the gun in her hand the way Jesper had taught her. She caught his eye and winked.

She’ll be alright, Jesper reassured himself.

“Let’s go over it one more time.”

Kaz’s voice broke through the silence of the night, low enough to not startle the birds that slept in the trees above but loud enough for all of them to give him their attention.

Jesper stifled a groan. They’d been over this at least three times before. (Y/N) noticed his dramatized grimace and chuckled, nudging him with her elbow.

“Inej…”

The Wraith slipped out of the shadows, “I’ll enter through the back to the control room and disable the alarm. As soon as it’s done I’ll signal you.”

She nodded towards Jesper.

“Distraction as soon as I receive the sign,” Jesper continued.

Kaz assented. “The alarm deactivation will give us a ten-minute window for the theft,” he said it as if he hadn’t been reminding them of the small span of time they had ever since he’d devised the plan. “So the distraction has to last at least seven minutes.”

Jesper knew that, it gave enough time for (Y/N) to slip in and out without raising much suspicion.

He whistled and offered a self-satisfying smirk, “I’ve got it.”

Kaz stared at him for a second, as if trying to pick his mind apart with the power of his eyes, before turning to the girl by Jesper’s side.

“(Y/N)…”

She met his eyes with a grin. “I’m off the moment Jes begins to work his magic. Go in through the second window, safe is on the second floor, third room to the left.”

“And you’re looking for?”

“Pink star diamond, 60 carats,” she responded with ease. “And if something else catches my eye-”

“No,” Kaz cut her off, tone firm and resolute. Both Jesper and Inej snapped their gaze towards their leader, it wasn’t often that he limited just how much they could steal. “In and out.”

From the corner of his eye Jesper saw the smile fall off (Y/N)’s face, arms coming to cross defensively over her chest.

“But what if-”

“In and out,” Kaz repeated, always inflexible once he made up his mind. He jutted his jaw as if daring her to argue. Jesper half expected her to do so, after all (Y/N) was never afraid of disagreeing and questioning him— she was one of the few who could do it without much repercussion —but she didn’t.

If Jesper hadn’t been looking closely he would’ve missed it, the way (Y/N) eyes trailed down to Kaz’s feet, only for a second.

Tap, tap, tap.

The point of his boot tapping against the muddy floor, his eyes not once leaving (Y/N)’s.

Her face softened instantly, shoulders deflating. She tapped her index finger against her bicep thrice in return before uncrossing her arms.

She relented with a sigh, “In and out, okay.”

As they wished each other good luck (no mourners, no funerals) Kaz did it again and this time Jesper was waiting for it, the tap of the leader’s cane against the leaves.

Tap, tap, tap.

Comfort swept over him.

Everything went as smoothly as it can go when one is robbing a millionaire.

iv. finger meets wood three times: i’m sorry, i love you

Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason, Jesper had heard that saying being whispered more times than he could recall and he could vouch for it. It was, perhaps, what made Kaz so formidable. There was no knowing when he would strike because there was no why, and without a why one couldn’t forestall his actions.

Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason, but they’d given him one the moment they’d taken (Y/N). Their death sentence had been signed the moment they’d laid a hand on her.

As Jesper watched (Y/N) in silent concern he finally understood why people feared when they whispered that saying.

(Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason.)

“Find her,” Kaz had instructed Inej and Nina as soon as they’d arrived at their destination. The girls had disappeared into the night, focused on the rescue mission.

The hand with which Kaz gripped his cane had been shaking with anger all night.

The truth was he’d been seething ever since some rouge Dime Lions had taken what was his. (They’d been rouges, Kaz was certain. Pekka Rollins had sworn to him, after a few broken fingers, that he’d never ordered them to take his girl.) Everyone in the Slat had been on edge for the last three days, expecting their leader to snap at them at any moment, but Kaz had managed to keep a tight rein on his emotions.

The control had slipped from Kaz’s fingers the moment he caught a glimpse of a man on the deck of the rusty old boat, laughter-filled voice talking about how he’d made a mess of the Bastard’s bitch. The tremors in Kaz’s hands had come to a sudden stop. Before Jesper had the opportunity to even blink Kaz had fired his gun, hitting the blond straight in the forehead.

(For someone who favored his cane over every other existing weapon, Kaz had a deadly aim. Jesper would never say it out loud, but he reckoned Kaz’s ability might come close to rivaling his own.)

“I’ll deal with them.”

Jesper had known what that meant; come with me, cover my back, but let me make them suffer.

Kaz Brekker was only one man but the murderous wrath in his eyes had let Jesper know that Kaz had no intention of leaving any of them alive. He was going to make them pay, he was going to destroy them.

Brick by brick.

It’d been carnage after that. Jesper had watched, in some sort of horrified awe, how Kaz had taken down every single one of the men. He’d shot some of them too, but it’d been mainly just Kaz. There’d been screams and the smell of blood had tainted the air.

Then there’d been nothing but silence and a pained whimper.

(It was in moments like these that Jesper was struck with the realization that he knew nothing about Kaz Brekker. Because, if anyone had ever asked him about Kaz’s anger prior to what he’d witnessed that night, Jesper would’ve answered that Kaz’s anger was hot and sharp and acid, a searing rage that couldn’t be controlled once unleashed. Kaz’s anger knew no boundaries and crossed all limits, he would’ve said, it burned fiercely as it destroyed everything in its path. But that night Jesper had seen another side to Kaz’s rage. His eyes had looked downright homicidal, dangerously violent. They’d contrasted the lack of emotions in his features. His anger wasn’t fueled by emotion—not anymore, it’d gone past that —but rather by the innate need to protect what was his. It wasn’t loud or visible, but rather quiet and lethal. Cold anger that Jesper had found even more terrifying.)

“I know you planned all of this,” Kaz had walked closer to the man who laid on the ground, hands gripping a bullet wound in his kneecap and whimpers falling from his lips. “You thought taking my girl would make me falter, didn’t you?” The man had tried to scramble but Kaz had only tsked before swinging his cane against the man’s injured leg. He’d let out a pained moan, tears dripping down his cheeks. “You just made me angry.”

“Please, I’m begging you…”

“Oh, you should beg.” The heel of the cane had come down on the knees again, the snapping sound indicating a broken bone and the wail letting Jesper know just how bad the pain must’ve been. “I would shoot you in the face, but that would be too merciful of me.” He’d used the head of the cane, the prideful crow, to lift the man’s chin. “If (Y/N) was here she’d tell me to be gentle,” a shadow had crossed Kaz’s face, terrifying enough to make a chill run down Jesper’s back, “too bad for you she isn’t here.”

The head of the cane had been swung back and it came in contact with the man’s jaw. Blood had trickled down the man’s chin, a scream leaving his mouth.

“You took something of mine, you hurt something of mine, and for that, I’ll make sure you suffer.”

Kaz had used his cane after that and no more words were spoken.

Now, as Jesper watched (Y/N) flinch away from Nina, he wondered what would’ve happened if Kaz had seen her state before killing all those men. Maybe it’d been a blessing for them that he hadn’t.

Jesper had never seen (Y/N) so worn down. She sat by the stairs, knees to her chest, holding herself close. It was a strategic position, a place where she could watch all of them and no one could sneak from behind (part of Jesper’s heart had shattered when he’d come to that realization.) She’d only spent three days with the Lions but that’d been enough to cause cracks in the impenetrable wall she’d spent the last years building, past trauma slipping through. So far she hadn’t let anyone close to her, not even Inej who was her closest friend and who’d spoken in gentle whispers about treating her injuries. Her face was a mess, the beauty not gone but tainted with purples and blues. One of her eyes still bled. Under her nails and across her fingers there was dry blood but her arms held no injuries. Jesper just knew she’d given one hell of a fight. He wondered if this was what she’d looked like when Kaz had found her all those years ago, he wondered if maybe it’d been worse. He didn’t ponder long because the pain it caused in his chest was unbearable.

Her eyes snapped towards the door before it was slammed open. Jesper turned around just in time to see Kaz walk in.

(He’d changed and showered after arriving at the Slat. Jesper somehow knew he’d done that before seeing (Y/N) to prevent the blood— that’d covered his clothes and face —from triggering any unwanted memory.

It was (Y/N)’s first time seeing him after she’d been taken. Jesper knew that Kaz was their last hope of bringing her back to them.)

Jesper saw the moment Kaz’s unwavering gaze met (Y/N)’s face and he could tell, without a doubt, that anger was consuming him once again. His jaw clenched at the sight of bruises, and his hand clenched itself by his side.

He looked ready to burn the city to ashes in retribution.

Somehow, Kaz managed to control the rage. The frigid anger in Kaz’s eyes, the one that had frightened Jesper to the core, melted as he crouched in front of her.

“Are you with me?”

She blinked once, twice, thrice. Then, she nodded, and Jesper couldn’t help the sigh of relief that left his lips. She was here, broken and damaged, but here with them. That was enough.

Kaz’s gloved hand reached forward, stopping inches away from her face, ghosting over her bruised cheek. Careful not to touch any skin, he moved some of the hair out of (Y/N)’s face before fisting his hand and returning it to his side.

Jesper looked away, something about the act felt more intimate than it looked. Nosy as he was, he listened in.

“They touched me,” the voice was weak and shaky and so unlike the (Y/N) that Jesper knew.

A sharp intake of breath. “I made them pay for that.”

“Did they suffer?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” It was barely a whisper but the words were surprisingly firm.

Jesper couldn’t see but he heard the taps. Three times. Kaz’s finger against the wooden railing of the stairs.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Jesper frowned, unbelievably confused by the words the girl had just uttered.

Tap, tap, tap.

Gentle and genuine, “I love you, too.”

Everything clicked at that precise moment, the confusion faded away. Jesper was left dizzy with the realization that Kaz’s taps meant absolutely everything. They were his way of telling them he cared. No one knew, no one understood the action, and maybe that was why Kaz kept on doing it.

But now Jesper did, now he understood.

From that day on he found himself twirling his guns thrice before going out and causing mayhem.

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myhairpintrigger · 1 year

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anon i am so sorry… my post got deleted somehow so i had to repost 🤨 anyways this is terrible because i wrote it at 3 am but at least it’s proofread!

warnings: SMUT (18+ only!)

word count: 2.6k

Oblivious (aleksander morozova x AFAB!reader)

Aleksander had always had a soft spot for the good things in the world. The beautiful things.

You were both.

From the moment he met you, he knew you were.

The two of you had met when you arrived in Os Alta after running away from Ketterdam. Being a known Healer had been getting dangerous, and the wrong crowds often sought your services out.

The first time he’d met you personally was a spectacle, really. You’d been brought in to heal a deep cut on the back of Vasily Lantsov’s head because he had slipped drunkenly down the stairs. Aleksander was almost always present when his Grisha were needed in The Grand Palace, and he stood back and watched as you healed Vasily with ease. It hadn’t even been a moment later before the young prince started to flirt with you.

You awkwardly took a step away from him, which he in turn took one towards you. You had laughed nervously and before you could take another step back, he had grabbed onto your kefta and tried to pull you towards him. You jumped backwards quickly and the kefta came loose from his fingers and you fell backwards, catching yourself at an odd angle on your elbows.

Aleksander was quick to come help you up and he bid Vasily goodbye sharply before he whisked you out of the room and back to the Little Palace. You hadn’t spoken a word, in fact, you trembled under the hand that The General had laid on your upper back to guide you. He noticed your trembling after a moment and the second you two had reached the solace of the Little Palace, you turned to him and clasped your hands together nervously.

Keep reading

“Oh, General, I am so terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to make a scene in front of the prince, I just was nervous and-“

He cut you off by holding a hand up and he gave you a gentle smile.

“Everyone knows Vasily doesn’t know personal boundaries. It was not your fault, y/n.” He responded and you instantly calmed down, relieved to not be in trouble with the most powerful Grisha in Ravka.

Since then, Aleksander had been curious of the clumsy, nervous little Healer that had been brought to him, and he made a point to get to know you better.

After a year of being at The Little Palace, you and The General had gotten very close, and you considered him to be your best friend.

He however, considered you to be more. He hadn’t found himself so taken with a single person for nearly four hundred years, and the worst part was you didn’t even seem to realize it.

He tried to make it known to you, but he wasn’t quite sure how at first, so he’d do little things. For example, one night after you’d been caught in the rain out riding with him, he came to your quarters and swaddled your shivering form in his warmest cloak. Or another time when he took you on a walk out to the forest and he’d plucked flowers from the ground and tucked them in your hair.

Eventually it grew into more. He’d shower you with compliments often. He became much touchier with you, embracing you for long periods of time, giving you little cheek and forehead kisses when he greeted you or bid you goodbye.

He’d even revealed his name to you one night while the two of you laid in his bed. You liked coming to his room late at night, and he’d entertain you by messing with his shadows above your head. You’d watch them intently as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world while he watched you with the same passion.

But you still didn’t seem to get it.

It had been about two weeks since you’d seen Aleksander, and he had just returned from a little trip to the frontlines to check up on everything and bring more troops to the Second Army. When he arrived at the Palace, you excitedly greeted him on his horse and he wrapped both arms around you, almost tackling you to the ground.

“Take me with you next time! I about died of boredom here. I can’t keep mending David’s paper cuts, it’s so mundane.” You complained playfully.

“Take you with me? And have you distract me? Keep dreaming, pretty.” He commented and you sighed dramatically and fell backwards, knowing he’d catch you.

He did, of course and he pulled you up straight again and then grabbed your hand, leading you towards the Little Palace.

“Perhaps you’d like to accompany me to dinner with the King this evening?” He asked slowly and looked down at you.

You glanced up at him with your eyebrow raised and you shook your head, “I’m not saying no. But is that the kind of thing you do with friends? I mean, I feel like it’s an opportunity wasted on me. You could take David or Genya. The King likes them more, anyway.” You stated.

He nearly rolled his eyes. Friends. How oblivious could one person be?

“Perhaps. But I wanted you to come. Because you are important to me, and there’s no one else I’d rather spend my time with, truth be told.” He explained and pushed open the door to the palace. You both walked inside hand in hand and you glanced up at Aleksander with a bright smile.

“I’ll go then. If I’m that important, how could I miss it?”

You had no idea.

The dinner had gone well. Aleksander convinced you eagerly to wear a black kefta that matched his own, and then upon seeing you in it, his heart utterly melted. It was hard to keep his focus on anything other than you at dinner, and that was for certain.

The walk back to The Little Palace was a quiet one. You had your head leaned against his arm while the two of you walked and he glanced down at you with a small smile.

“Would you care to join me back in my chambers for a little while?” He asked and you looked up at him.

Your eyes pierced his own and the urge to kiss you right there in the hall was inexplicable. He had to tear his eyes away from yours while he walked you the rest of the way to his room. Once inside, he closed the doors behind both of you and he turned to you.

“Did you have an enjoyable night?” He asked softly and you walked around his war table, dragging your finger along the edge.

“Mhm. It was nice, thank you, Aleksander.” You said sweetly and looked back at him over your shoulder.

Your eyes caught his once again and you gave him a soft smile, “You look nice.” You commented and then turned your attention back to the war table. You touched the model of The Fold in front of you and you let out a giggle.

“Considering how much time you spend hovering over this, I’d expect a more lifelike model.” You teased and twisted a bit of your hair around your finger.

“Well. That’s the best we did.” He teased back and approached you, sending a tendril of shadow through the air to tap your nose. You scrunched your nose up cutely and reached up to run your fingers through the cold shadow wisps in front of your face.

“I love it when you do that. Your shadows are so… lovely.” You hummed, and with that, he sent more little tendrils of shadow your way, loving the way you giggled, stared at them in awe, and reached out to touch them as if they were fragile.

You had never been one to shy away from his shadows. Perhaps you were one of the only ones like that, too. He kept his eyes on you while you dragged your finger through the shadowy air before you, and he suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take the aching feeling in his chest when he looked at you, the burning desire to have you as his own, the indisputable and undeniable fact that he was in love with you.

He found himself moving forward at alarming speed and he grabbed your face in his hands desperately. He stared down at you wildly and the gaze you returned was bewildered and confused.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, your voice so little and nervous.

He shook his head and he pulled your face closer to his so that he could kiss between your eyes.

“No. But I need you to listen to me.” He said eagerly and you gave him a little nod, allowing him to continue.

“Y/n. You are one of the most oblivious people I’ve met in my life. How much more obvious can I be?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Aleksander.” You replied nervously and your eyes raked his face.

“I am in love with you, for the love of the Saints, y/n. I am so in love with you, it brings me to my knees. For months now, I have only fallen harder and harder for you, and you just don’t seem to even notice. You sleep in my bed, I hold your hand, I’m glued to your side whenever I’m here, I take you to events, I show you off when you wear black… I don’t understand how you don’t get it! I am in love with you, so painstakingly in love.”

You blinked a few times up at him and then you let out a mirthful little giggle.

“Oh, oh my. Aleksander, why didn’t you say something sooner?” You asked and raised your eyebrows up at him.

Your reaction clearly wasn’t the one he was expecting and he stared down at you with wide eyes, his hands still holding your face gently.

“You should have just told me, because then I would’ve told you that I’m so, so in love with you.” You said with another little laugh.

Aleksander didn’t even have time to feel relieved and elated about your reply before you were standing on your toes and dragging him down to you by his shirt to plant a warm kiss on his lips.

Your kiss now wasn’t like any of the times he’d ever imagined kissing you. It was so much better. He kissed you back with a sweetness that was almost tangible between your lips and your hands found his neatly combed hair.

He broke the kiss breathlessly and he stared down at you in the dim light of his bedroom. You bit down on your bottom lip as you looked up at him and he shook his head.

“You’re intoxicating.” Was all he said before he dove back down and kissed you again, this time backing you up against the table before he lifted you up onto it. He stood with your legs on either side of his thighs and he placed a sloppy kiss on either corner of your lips before he kissed down your chin and up along your jawline.

You let out a breathy moan when his lips brushed across the spot just between your ear and jaw, and he closed his eyes tightly. He sucked on the skin over that spot and pulled back once he was satisfied with the blossom of broken capillaries just underneath your skin, creating a mark that would stay for the next few coming days. You reached up and pushed his kefta off of his shoulders as he began to kiss down the side of your neck sloppily and you shivered.

“Aleksander.” You whispered and he pulled back slowly to look down at you questioningly.

You glanced up into his eyes and then you let out a little whine.

“Take off your shirt please.” You said softly, your cheeks heating up.

He let out a little chuckle at your request but he didn’t argue as he took off his layers of tops. While he was undressing himself, you rid yourself of your own kefta and you slipped down off of the table and turned around in front of him to show him the buttons of your dress.

“I’ll need help with this too.” You said shyly and he wasted absolutely no time, moving in and unbuttoning your dress as quickly as he could. When he pushed it off of your shoulders, he brought his hands around to rest on your bare torso, drawing your back up against his chest tightly.

Your dress hung loosely at your waist and you wiggled a bit against him to get the skirts to fall to the floor. You stepped out of them and then you took his hands and brought them up to your lips. You placed slow kisses on each of his fingertips and he let out a long sigh, your lips feeling like the softest silks in the world to him.

He gently pulled one hand away from your grip while you kissed the other and he reached down to gently slip his fingers down into your underwear. He rested his chin down against your shoulder and he very slowly dragged his middle finger in two little circles around your clit. You gasped against his fingertips and you froze, your body moving backwards against his even more.

He repeated the same motion a few more times before you grabbed his wrist and shook your head.

“Oh, please don’t tease me. Please.” You whispered and he let out a little chuckle. Normally he’d be more inclined to make you beg for him, but he’d save that for another day.

He spun you around and reached behind you carelessly and swept all the models of landmarks and such off of his war table and he hoisted you back up onto it.

He quickly reached up and pulled your underwear down until they were around your knees and you could easily kick them off, and he pushed your legs apart, standing in between them. You leaned back against the table on your elbows and looked up at him, letting out a needy whine.

“Aleksander, please.” You breathed and he brought his hand up to your cunt.

He looked up into your eyes for a while before he inched his fingers upwards through your folds, gathering your slick on his fingertips. You leaned your head backwards and let out a little sigh of relief and he took this as encouragement to press his thumb down against your clit. You let out a little mewl at the new contact and he had never heard such a pretty sound before. He started slowly, his thumb gently circling your clit.

“Look at you, being such a good, patient little thing.” He murmured appreciatively. He glanced down at his hand on your core and he continued to move his thumb against your sensitive bundle of nerves.

After a moment of this, he brought his free hand up and he pushed your legs open further before he traced his pointer finger around your entrance. You wiggled your hips down closer to his hand, feeling utterly empty and Aleksander only clicked his tongue and murmured something about having patience up at you.

A few agonizing moments went by of him running his finger along your entrance, when without warning, he pushed it inside of you. You clenched around his finger and you let out a little moan, waiting for him to move again. He steadily continued the movement over your clit as he curled the finger inside of you up a few times and you raised your hips off of the table.

“Oh, please. More.” You begged and lifted your head to stare down at him. He simply gave you a wink before he pulled his finger out of you. You didn’t even have time to be disappointed before he was plunging two fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out of you steadily. You moaned again, this time much more breathlessly and he quickened his pace on your clit along with his fingers inside of you. Within moments, he had you gasping and whining, chasing a release that was so close.

You sat and pleaded quietly with him to go faster and when he finally obliged, you snapped. You let out a sharp gasp and then moaned loudly. He didn’t even need your moans to know you were cumming, because you tightened impossibly around his fingers and he hummed.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Good job.” He murmured and continued to fuck you with his fingers through your orgasm. When you’d finally calmed yourself, he slowly pulled his fingers out of you and brought them up to your lips.

You opened your eyes to see his fingers in front of your face and you opened your mouth obediently and took them inside.

“Good, taste yourself, angel.” He breathed and then pulled his fingers away from your mouth only to put them in his own. He licked them clean before he gently grabbed you by the thighs and held your legs on either side of his hips and lifted you off of the table.

The hardness in his pants brushed up against your newly sensitive core and you gasped, earning yet another chuckle from Aleksander. He carried you into his bedroom and then gently tossed you down on his bed. He stood over you as you stared up at him with eyes glazed over with need and he kicked his boots off and yanked his pants off along with his underwear.

He looked down at you and stroked himself a few times before he leaned over your body and brushed the tip of his cock against your entrance a few times.

“If I knew this is how it would end, I would’ve confessed my love for you sooner.” He teased with a breathy laugh.

You smiled blissfully up at the man above you and you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck. You pulled him down for a slow kiss, and he slipped himself inside of you, earning a gasp. You distractedly stopped kissing him and he pulled away from your lips slightly as he slowly slid himself into you fully. Once you’d taken all of him, he stayed still for a moment, giving you time to adjust.

You tossed your head back and then you tapped the back of his neck, “Aleksander, I do adore you, but I need you to move.”

He did as you asked and he slowly pulled out before plunging himself back inside of you, a lewd, wet sound echoing off of the walls.

He let out a low groan and he closed his eyes, leaning his head down so that his forehead touched yours.

“You feel so good, my love. Taking me so well.” He grunted and easily found an initially slow pace that the both of you enjoyed.

You pressed your fingertips into his shoulder blades and you let out a few soft moans in the form of his name. You pressed your lips to his ear and you let out a whimper against it.

“Faster, please.” You whispered and he had no choice but to increase the pace of which his cock was pumping in and out of you at, just to earn a few more sweet moans from you.

It wasn’t long before all that was audible in the room was the sound of skin slapping together and your high pitched moans, mixing with his low praises. Your second climax approached you quickly, and Aleksander deduced this by the way you were clenching around his cock. He grabbed onto one of your legs tightly and hoisted it up around his waist and he thrust in particularly sharply, and he hit a spot deep inside of you that had you screaming his name and digging your nails into his back.

“Come on, my love. Cum for me. You’ve done so well, let me reward you.” He whispered and you dragged your nails down his back, whimpering and moaning simultaneously.

He continued with his sharp thrusts up into you, hitting that spot within you each time, and after just a few more quick strokes, you tightened your leg around his waist and threw your head back as your second orgasm of the night washed over your entire body in waves. You clung to him shakily as he continued to fuck you, chasing his own high. It wasn’t long after you had came that he finished as well, releasing inside of you. He stayed still over you for a few moments while you panted and slowly calmed down, and finally he pulled out of you and rolled onto his back, pulling you on top of him.

“Have you really been hinting at being in love with me for months now?” You asked after moments of post-coital silence.

Aleksander rolled his eyes and snorted, pulling you tightly down against his chest.

“I have. And I was just about to give up.”

“Nah. You could never give up on me.” You said with a little giggle and Aleksander smiled and placed a few kisses against your cheek.

“Oh, milaya. I know.”

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x you #grishaverse #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #the darkling x reader #the darkling #the darkling imagine #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine

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bookishdream · 1 year

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wooden swords

Hi, long time no see :<<. But here I come, after a break, hopefully with some new ideas and a fresh head for sure!

Synopsis: just Kaz being a little annoying bitch, enjoy! CW: none <3

“You’re making it too easy for me, y/n” the infamous bastard of the barrel remarked, when yet again your wooden sword met his. You were out of breath, your lungs felt like they were on fire and every little movement tighten your muscles to an unbearable degree. “Live up to my expectations, love”

“I don’t think your ego fits in this hideous hat of yours anymore, Brekker” you took a step back, preparing yourself for the next hit. Your feet firmly planted on the ground, back straightened and every single muscle tensed. You lift the weapon again, concentrating and trying to foresee his next move.

You had been training with Kaz, Dirtyhands Brekker for quite some time. Your first encounter was a rough one, to say at least. You had been brought up in Novyziem and after your parents had thrown you out, with only the clothes on your back, you’d thought that Ketterdam would be a marvelous idea to start all over again. Little did you know that it was a place the devil himself was scared to visit. Or on the contrary, lived in, you still weren’t sure whether Kaz was The Devil.

When the ship you’d been on finally finished his journey, you’d been more than frightened. Immediately, you’d felt shivers, your anxiety had risen and you’d been off to look for a shelter. After the most tiring wandering, you had noticed a nice clothed gentleman, his attire black, as had been his awful hat. The only sound that could’ve been heard was a systematical clicking of his cane, which also looked quite expensive. Your eyes sharpened, the gears in your mind working quickly, thinking about the most efficient way to obtain some cash, the gentleman looked as an easy target.

You’d followed him for what felt like every single damn street and nook of Ketterdam, when eventually you’d got close enough to slip your palm into his pocket and–

“What are you doing, exactly?” the rough material of his glove had connected with your thin wrist, with only one move he could’ve snapped it in half, leaving you with only one good hand. He didn’t look old, nor did he look young. His expression dark and steady, making you shiver. “Do you think of me that low to assume I wasn’t aware of you following me?”

“Honestly, I found you as stupid as any other merchant in this city” you’d tried to keep a calm face and a steady voice, but your breath had been coming out sharply, betraying your calm demeanour. “Your hat is what makes you look foolish”

His eyes had glowed dangerously at your remark, and you wished you hadn’t spoken a word. Then he smirked. “You have potential, let’s go.” started walking, leaving you alone in the middle of a dark alley. A dark shape had run in front of your feet, making you squeak, and you quickly had caught up with the mysterious boy. But it was a long time ago, almost a year had passed since Kaz Brekker had let you stay with the Dregs.

“Y/n, please, we all know that my hats make you swoon” he smirked, paring his sword with yours. Again. You cursed, pushing harder, which came out as fruitless, since Kaz hit your weapon, making you hiss out of pain and let it fall. “I thought I told you not to play with sharp objects”

“It’s not sharp, you–“ your words cut short, as you felt the tip of his sword on your throat. You swallowed and looked him in the eyes.

“Do not use this language, young lady.”

“We’re the same age.”

“I’m two months older.” his smirk was still on his face, making you really tempted to wipe it off, the sword still unmoving. “Hence, my word is the last word”

He let the sword fall on the ground with a small thud, putting his fallen hat back on his head. Kaz turned around, taking a few steps ahead. You, on the other hand, lifted the sword from the dirty street and aimed it at his back, jabbing him in his very expensive and pricey coat. “Never turn your back, unless your opponent is dead. That was the first thing you taught me.” It was your turn to smile, just a little.

Kaz showed you his profile, his cheekbones were highlighted by the warm glow of the street lamps. A little smile was playing in the corners of his lips. “Good job, y/n. Now let’s go and drink, it’s freezing”

#kaz brekker imagine #kaz soc #soc kaz #kaz brekker x reader #kaz my beloved #six of crows #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone

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alexzalben · 1 year

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Shadow and Bone Season 2 premieres March 16, 2023 on Netflix

First look images, followed by quotes from Eric Heisserer, Daegan Fryklind, and Leigh Bardugo, as well as a synopsis and more info on Season 2, which I cannot frickin' wait for.

Eric Heisserer and Daegan Fryklind (Co-Showrunners / Executive Producers / Writers) & Leigh Bardugo (Author / Executive Producer) on what fans can expect this season:

HEISSERER: The most wonderful thing about Season Two is that we get to advance the story of these characters that we'd left in precarious positions at the end of Season One. There's a lot of potential for them this season. They have to face the consequences for their actions, and then they get to meet new people along the way. The Grishaverse also expands in this season, both in mythology and in characters. In doing so, we expand the world, we go to new locations, we visit Novyi Zem and Shu Han, and those are all integral to the narrative.

FRYKLIND: We've also really dug into more of the mythology this season in terms of the amplifiers, but also the creator of the amplifiers, Morozova, who he was, what his backstory is, and how he ties into this world. We go out and we go deeper.

BARDUGO: I think the readers now trust our writers the way that I do. This season I was able to step back and put the show more firmly in their hands. I think when we approached Season One, a lot of people were like, "It's impossible. It can't be done. Why would you bring SHADOW AND BONE and SIX OF CROWS together?" And I think now, we have that trust. And I think it's going to be very, very exciting for them to see the way that trust pays off in Season Two. Every part of the Grishaverse is coming into play. We are going to get to see some incredible new characters. We're going to see characters interacting with each other, questing with each other, fighting and laughing with each other, who we never got to see together in the books. And I think that's a unique thing about this show. Readers are not only going to be surprised by the way that these storylines crash into each other, they're never going to know where the next move is coming from—and that actually was a pleasure for me because I got to be surprised by my own stories.

ABOUT THE SERIES

Co-Showrunners / Executive Producers / Writers: Eric Heisserer (Chronology) and Daegan Fryklind

Author and Executive Producer: Leigh Bardugo

Executive Producers: Shawn Levy, Josh Barry, Dan Levine, and Dan Cohen for 21 Laps Entertainment, Pouya Shahbazian (Loom Studios) and Shelley Meals

Directors: Bola Ogun (Episodes 1 & 2), Laura Belsey (Episodes 3 & 4), Karen Gaviola (Episodes 5 & 6) and Mairzee Almas (Episodes 7 & 8)

Season 2 Format: 8 x 1 Hour Episodes

Cast: Jessie Mei Li (Alina Starkov), Archie Renaux (Malyen Oretsev), Freddy Carter (Kaz Brekker), Amita Suman (Inej Ghafa), Kit Young (Jesper Fahey), Danielle Galligan (Nina Zenik), Daisy Head (Genya Safin), Calahan Skogman (Matthias Helvar), Lewis Tan (Tolya Yul-Bataar), Anna Leong Brophy (Tamar Kir-Bataar), Jack Wolfe (Wylan Hendriks), Patrick Gibson (Nikolai Lantsov) and Ben Barnes (General Kirigan)

Synopsis: Alina Starkov is on the run. A beacon of hope to some and a suspected traitor to others, she's determined to bring down the Shadow Fold and save Ravka from ruin. But General Kirigan has returned to finish what he started. Backed by a terrifying new army of seemingly indestructible shadow monsters and fearsome new Grisha recruits, Kirigan is more dangerous than ever. To stand a fighting chance against him, Alina and Mal rally their own powerful new allies and begin a continent-spanning journey to find two mythical creatures that will amplify her powers. Back in Ketterdam, the Crows must forge new alliances as they contend with old rivals and even older grudges that threaten not only their place in the Barrel, but their very lives. When a chance at a deadly heist comes their way, the Crows will once again find themselves on a collision course with the legendary Sun Summoner. Based on Leigh Bardugo's worldwide bestselling Grishaverse novels, SHADOW AND BONE returns for a second season of new friendships, new romance, bigger battles, epic adventures — and a shocking family secret that could shatter everything.

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simpingcorner · 1 year

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Daughter of the Shadows ch. 3

Word Count: ~1.8k Warnings: mild violence (stabbing, mentions of gunshots, physical fighting), blood, alcohol, gambling,mention ofblood loss, mentio of attempted SA,not proofread, let me know if I forgot something.

Author's Note: Third chapter to my Grishaverse fanfic. Pretty much just a filler chapter. Sorry if it sucks. New chapter every Sunday and Wednesday. A reminder this is insipred by my SoC DR so it’ll follow both the books and the show plotlines, there will be changes to the canon characters and their storylines, it’s also a Kaz Brekker x OC. | English isn’t my first language so please bear with me and tell me if there’s something wrong. I hope you like it.

all rights to leigh bardugo, i only owny liith and her backstory (other ocs will be introduced later)

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6

CHAPTER 3

JESPER

Jesper wouldn't have known how to explain his arrival at the table, one moment he was guarding the south door, the next he was sitting at the table, surrounded by pigeons from Novyi Zem and Shu Han, "Jesper." Kaz's voice brought the boy back to reality, "Shouldn't you be guarding the door? " the boss’ hard face showed no emotion, Jesper had never seen emotions on Kaz's face, he had never seen him smiling, scared; his face, his voice, his eyes showed impassivity, never had he seen an expression other than the one he was wearing at that moment. "Right away, boss." He said before getting up from the table and heading for the door.

The line of tourists waiting to enter the Club stretched for a little over a block, it was no surprise the increase in customers during the autumn months, yet Jesper kept wondering how people like that, with enough money to cross the Fold or afford the best rooms in the best hotels of Ketterdam, could walk so calmly through the streets, not noticing the children and teens stealing their watches, wallets, jewellery, tie clips or whatever item could help them survive for at least another day.

It must be nice to have the security of eating and sleeping in a warm place.

The boy thought to himself, remembering the first months he had spent on the streets of the Barrel after dropping out of university, his father would not have been proud of him for being a gambler, whose only goal is to win enough to repay his debts. Debts his father was never supposed to know about.

The autumn night was humid and way too hot, the torpid air of the Barrel was now the only air Jesper could breathe, vaguely remembering the fresh air of his father's farm in Novyi Zem, a farm, a country, a life he had decided to abandon and forget, he had decided to start a new life at Ketterdam University, but that too, like everything Jesper started, had lasted little more than a few months. "When can we get in? We have been waiting since before the sun went down." Said the irritated voice of one of the tourists. "When you can come in I will let you in." Jesper replied as he went back to staring at the children running among the tourists, his hands steady on the handles of the guns, ready if needed, busy playing with them in such a way as to prevent accidents, his gaze shifted from the children to the tourists to the rooftops, he knew Lilith and Specht were busy with a job for Kaz and he knew they would have to return shortly.

Jesper knew that he would never have to contradict Kaz if he wanted to stay at the Slat, he knew Lilith was able to protect herself if needed, he knew she was probably one of the most dangerous and notorious people in the city, and maybe that was why part of him was agitated, although Lilith had never needed help part of him felt that she too had limits, that she too would need help sooner or later. The lights of the streetlamps flickered in the warm wind of the night, the voices of the Club's customers combined with the screams of the workers in the Pleasure District attracting new customers were now a constant in the boy's life, no matter what time it was Ketterdam was always alive, always awake, always brightly lit. "Oi Jesper, how is it today? How are the cards?" Specht asked him throwing his hat and mask into the room next to the door, "Same as always, lucky if you're rich." the Zemeni man replied shifting his gaze to his colleague, "In the next life I'll born grisha, those are the ones who enjoy life." said Specht laughing at Jesper before walking through the door, "Where's Lilith?" shouted Jesper to his colleague before he disappeared, "I think she's at Kaz's, she had to explain some things to him, she left me before dinner was over." replied Specht before disappearing into the crowd of the Club.

Something in Jesper's stomach twisted, he knew she wouldn't be coming through the front door, in his four years at Slat with her he had never seen her use the doors except to kick cheaters out or during guard shifts, which he had noticed were far inferior compared to the rest of the Crows, yet part of him felt that something was wrong, that something was going to happen.

He noticed her before she could even notice him, her blonde hair stood out among the dark colours of the clothes and the streets, the thirteen year old girl was making her way through the bodies of tourists lined up to enter. "Branwen." Jesper shouted at the blonde, her pitch black eyes met Jesper's, a worried and frightened expression on the little girl's face, "What happened?" the Zemeni asked as he knelt in front of her and squeezed her shoulder, "It's Lilith. We were talking and when I left I noticed three men approaching her." "Where?" she asked trying to keep her composure, "Around the corner two blocks from here." replied Branwen, "Okay, can you tell Big Bolliger if he can cover me while I go see what's going on with Lilith?" Jesper ran towards the alley before the blonde could answer.

It wasn't the worst thing he had ever seen or the worst situation Lilith had been in and yet Jesper froze for a second at the scene in front of him, three men were pinning the girl down, their hands were trying to travel over her body, the veil of the costume was on the ground, broken, a symbol of innocence lost. Jesper pulled the trigger without noticing the action he had just performed, one of the three men fell to the ground groaning, the boy's gaze stopped on Lilith, but her eyes travelled from his hand to the man in front of him, the second man fell groaning, her hands were trying to stop the loss of blood, but the wound left by the girl's dagger would not heal. Jesper sprinted towards Lilith, catching her in time to prevent her from falling. Her body laid motionless in Jesper's arms, blood oozed from her side, the cut on her right forearm had reopened during the fight, her closed eyes and almost non-existent breathing forced Jesper to run through the streets, making space for himself by shouting and pushing tourists and workers, Big Bolliger noticed Lilith unconscious in his arms before he even noticed Jesper shouting and trying to get into the Crows Club, the line of people waiting to enter protested at the sight of the scene, "I've been here for three hours." "I've been waiting my turn since before the sun went down," were some of the comments Jesper could hear before turning towards the pigeons, "And she’s dying. If you want I'll shoot you too so you can come in," the boy replied before entering the club.

Inej was the first to notice Jesper, she stood beside him studying the girl's wounds, her gaze and expression impassive, by now used to such scenes, "Take her to her room, I'll go get Kaz." "No.... Don’t… Call him..." said Lilith between sighs, before losing consciousness again. Jesper and Inej knew not to go against the girl's wishes, but they needed Kaz to heal her, he was the only one who could find a healer and hire him before the worst happened, "Lil, we have to, he's the only one who can help you." Jesper's voice was gentle and concerned, "Milana... Work... At the Orchid..." Lilith's laboured breathing grew quicker and more erratic as Jesper propped her up on the mattress. "Specht send someone for Milana, Rotty get me some bandages or something to stop the bleeding, Anika go back to the counter and don't say anything." Ordered Inej to the rest of the Dregs around her, Jesper was kneeling beside the brunette, one hand clasped in his while with the other he stroked her hair, something that would have ensured his death at any other time, "Don't try to abandon me. We need to call Kaz, you need help," he told Inej, "No....I don't.... Need.... Of anyone..." said Lilith breathing heavily, "We all need someone." retorted Jesper with a half smile, Lilith tried to return it before losing consciousness again.

The Zemeni walked the streets of Ketterdam insulting himself for having, once again, lost what little savings he had left, the night was giving way to the warm spring sun, his chocolate-coloured face glistened from sweat under the dim light of the street lamps and the spring sun, his hands rested on the handles of his pistols, his gaze studied the pleasure district around him, his brain finally making up its mind to accept yet another night spent on the streets. "I can help you." The sudden voice startled him, he turned in search of the owner of the voice, but found himself alone in the alley, "I can help your father." the voice added, but still no one else besides him could be seen, leaving him to wonder if he was, in fact, imagining. Why would anyone help me? How could anyone know about my father? I don't need anyone. He thought as he continued walking in the shadows of the alley.

"We all need someone." Said the voice as if reading his mind. "Why would you want to help me?" He finally asked as the shadows seemed to retreat, giving way to the light of dawn. "Because I need you as much as you need me." His eyes finally saw the owner of the voice, a young girl, her curly brown hair trying to break free from the two braids at the nape of her neck, a white scar on her right cheek gave her already intimidating image, an even more frightening aura, her brown eyes were dark, studying him, a story behind them, pain, loss and revenge were the only things that could be seen in them. Two daggers carved from bones in her hands, ready to attack. Jesper looked at her, it felt like looking in a mirror, the purple bags under the girl's eyes were the same as his own, the quivering now part of him could be seen in the girl's hands. "Why do you need me?" He asked suddenly, "Because you have skills I don't and I bet you'd rather sleep on a real bed instead of the streets of the Pleasure District." Her voice was firm, affecting, too adult for the girl. "I guess sleeping on a real bed wouldn't be too bad." Said the boy with a smile, his hands left the grips of the guns, before reaching forward, the girl copied the action, her hand hidden by a leather glove squeezed the boy's, "I'm..." "Jesper Fahey." the girl interrupted him before turning on her heels and walking towards the Crow Club.

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merlinxmagic · 1 year

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My thoughts on the s2 soundtrack

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE GRISHAVERSE BOOKS BELOW!!

1. On the run: definitely alina mal in some dramatic chase scene in ep 1

2. Market chase: Mal (and possibly alina) running in the village in the sneak peak we got in september

3. Tolya and Tamar: Alina and Mal meet Tolya and Tamar

4. Wylan: No explanation needed but AHHHHHH. says a lot that he’s the only character with the track as simply their name. superior king

5. Come Sail Away: Dramatic moment on Nikolai’s ship, where they first set sail or smth

6. Brother: Jordie flashback (SO SOON THO, assuming the soundtrack is in order).

7. Arriving at the Island: Nikolai’s ship docks at an island where they look for the sea whip, I haven’t read S&S in a hot minute so don’t count me on this one

8. Crows ambushed: :( Probably involves Pekka

9. Return of the Useless Grunt: No idea who this is... definitely something to do with Ketterdam and the Dregs tho

10. I’m Here for the Killers: Kaz related I’m guessing, perhaps him talking to the crows and reminding what they’re here for, inducing a ruthless mindset

11. Matthias fights: Hellgate scene ay

12. The Night We Met: Christina Strain posted this on twitter with an explosion emoji so I think we’re safe to assume it’s for wesper!! so we ARE getting tannery scene?? I’m so confused haha

13. Become the Blade: It’s mal doofuses

14. Jesper’s Past: AHHHHHH

15. Hope is Dangerous: Inej, a darker moment for her character this season (perhaps the way she is ‘tested’ that Amita referred to in an interview a long time ago?). Or maybe this is the scene in the trailer where she is fighting the Shu warrior?

16. Shu Han: Party arrives in Shu Han I’m guessing, the crows are involved too I bet since they seem to be in Shu Han in the trailer

17. The Disciple: Something to do with s&b, possibly the apparat? I need to reread that series before s2

18. I Can’t Lose You: Malina (perhaps alludes to Darkling’s remark “Are you prepared to sacrifice that which is most precious to you?”)

19. Deserve Her: Kanej or Malina, could be Helnik but I have no idea where they’re going with Nina and Matthias and if they will even meet other than in Matthias’s dreams

20. Chased: Not sure, either crows or Mal and Alina again

21. Battle at the Moat: Was this where Wylan was with Kaz and he was throwing a bomb at Tamar? I was never sure if Tamar was actually part of that scene or if they were different ones. Either of those shots are definitely involved her though

22. Stronger Than An Emerald: I’m guessing this is related to Pekka (Emerald Palace), and definitely is true since Kaz ended up refurbishing the place and renaming it The Silver Six (adorable btw). But if so, does that mean the crows have now returned to Ketterdam? Or has Pekka Rollins joined them in Shu Han? Or did they never go to Shu Han in the first place?

23. We Can Do This: Perhaps the scene with Kaz, Jesper, Wylan, Tolya, Tamar, Nikolai, and Adrik where they are watching the nichevoya and about to attack?

24. Final Goodbye: Crows part with s&b crew, or maybe the darkling and alina. Or if they reach the end of r&r and mal is about to sacrifice himself for alina?

25. Let Me Be Your Monster: Darkling, move on

26. Loss ad Sacrifice: Never mind, THIS is probably where mal sacrifices himself?? Or maybe Genya and the nichevoya?

27. Hope for the Future: Ending theme, perhaps ties in with the Inej track

28. How Will You Have Me: this is going to be the best scene in the show.

29: Rise And Fall: idk man probably s&b related

Notes:

- this season is going to be INSANE. i’m really excited and scared because I’ve been waited for this for two years and... wow.

- no Nikolai track? Maybe ‘come sail away’ is for him?

- hyped for march 10 when i will be able to listen to them and analyze all of these further!

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daughter-of-melpomene · 3 months

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Drop me a faceclaim & fandom ask game: Joey Batey + Grishaverse, please??

@dancingsunflowers-ocs ✨💛✨

Ooooh, love this one! Thanks so much, Alexandra!! <3

NAME: Dominik Krushner.

LOVE INTERESTS: Jesper Fahey + Wylan Van Eck.

SUMMARY: Dominik was something of an outlier in a place as dark and gritty as Ketterdam. A singer by trade, who did his best to get by by taking objectively shitty pay to perform at the many less-than-reputable establishments in the city, he certainly wasn’t much like the other people who called the place home, most of whom had given up and allowed themselves to become hardened and bitter as a result - Dominik was bright and almost stubbornly optimistic, always with a smile on his face and a new little tune to trill out whenever somebody snapped at him or tried to bring down his mood. It tended to annoy those around him, and had certainly lead to a decent share of beatings from people who simply couldn’t take his incessant smiling anymore - which is why he’s more than a little bit surprised when Kaz Brekker, a dangerous man who is said to have even less tolerance for cheerfulness than most, hires him to sing at his club. And though Dominik might try to rein his positivity in at first, not wanting to lose the best-paying job he’s ever had, it gets increasingly hard when he meets two very lovely members of Kaz’s crew and finds himself falling in love.

OTHER INFO:

Yeah, I may have just sort of transported Jaskier into the Grishaverse and gave him a new name (or at least what I know of Jaskier since I’ve never seen the show), but the Grishaverse needs someone like him, I think.

Most of the Crows definitely pretend not to like him very much when he first starts singing at the Crow Club (except for Jesper and Nina, because, well, of course), but they all definitely come around to him with time.

He’s actually really insecure about his personality because he’s been told by most of the people around him that he’s “too much” or annoying his whole life (poor boy), but Jesper and Wylan definitely work overtime to boost his self-esteem, and it definitely helps once Kaz makes him the Crow Club’s resident entertainment and he’s around people who make him feel better about himself a whole lot more.

He definitely never becomes a proper member of the Crows, but Kaz does start to bring him on a mission here and there after Jesper whines about making him feel left out, to act as a distraction while the rest of the team works (and he’s actually pretty good at it!).

He and Jesper and Wylan are the absolute best throuple ever. They also have an unfortunate tendency of getting into heated PDA sessions in public, and making both Kaz and Inej want to kill them as a result. (Which they don’t. But they both consider it.)

send me a fandom + a faceclaim and i'll create an oc!!

#asks about my ocs

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not-a-big-slay · 2 years

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Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x reader

summary: betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: none really...

A/N: hey yall, im back with my shit! im so sorry that this came out late, but i was very busy, like very busy, so i apologize. also wanted to clarify that i havent read the king of scars duology, so i dont really know the story line in that one. i went with Nina burying Matthias in Fjerda and then coming back home. if its too far from the og plot, feel free to comment or dm me and explain it briefly :)) also any constructive critisism is welcome. if you wanna get updated, say so in the comments. enjoy :))

part: 2/?

previous part: part 1

next part: part 3

masterlist

Nina knew exactly when she stepped into the Barrel. It's like there was an invisible line around it. Surroundings suddenly go quiet, the fresh smell of the sea changes into a stink of dry blood and smoke and fear rises up. It seems like everyone is looking at her, thinking about how to rob her or something worse. In Fjerda, no one spared a glance on her. The atmosphere is different in The Barrel, it seemed like a country on it's own.

It's been a while since the last time she walked these streets. Nothing has changed except her. She pulled her coat closer. She felt the same way she felt on her first day here. Scared and helpless. No one cared about anyone if it doesn't bring them profit. Nina was actually convinced people here just hated everyone. The only thing different from her first time was that behind this fear was a feeling of nostalgia, even happiness. She was excited see old Ketterdam as a new woman.

And first thing she would do was to visit the most dangerous person she knew.

A hot air hit her as she opened the door to the Crow Club. A familiar walls welcomed her back. A sound of laughter filled her ears and she smiled as all the fear dissapeared.

Well hello

Nina knew Kaz would be one of two places. The Slat or The Crow Club. She knew they wouldn't probably let her just walk in the home of the Dregs even though she is still one of them. So the latter was her clear choice. And she also wanted to surprise him, so there was an advantage.

She looked for a familiar faces while making her way to the office that used to belong to Per Haskell. Nina liked to think about their heist. She used to have nightmares about it, especially about Matthias, but now that she properly buried him on his home grounds, she felt comfort. The heist was succesful in many ways and she thought about those.

She opened the office door only a bit, however she still saw his back turned on the door. Nina congratulated herself for choosing this location first. It would be annoying to leave this place and go to The Slat. Quietly as possible, she entered the room and closed behind her. Kaz didn't seem alarmed. He was sitting on a chair, facing the wall across from the door, reading something. Could be a book Nina sarcastically thought. She breathed in air to say something.

,,Hello, Nina.''

Nina changed her mind about speaking and letted out a sigh as she watched him stand up and turn to her. She looked at him for the first time in what felt like a decade.His face gained another wrinkle and a new scar on his cheek, his eyes even more filled with greed. But overall, he was the same boy she have met 3 years ago. His face not showing any emotion, his hair still falling into his view and his lips probably still haven't turned up. She actually used to think he lacked the side of lip muscles and couldn't actually smile, but only talk.

,,You ruined your surprise, did you know that?" she stated, sitting on the other chair opposite of him. Her hands grabbed the sides of her coat and riped it open. It was hot inside. He sat back down, now facing her. Nina noticed the moment he faced her, but now, she confirmed it. His hands were bare.

No gloves.

,,How did you enjoy Fjerda?" he asked. Nina knew that small talk wasn't his thing, but she also didn't know how to start a conversation. ,,It was nice. How are you enjoying the five million kruge?" she smirked, taking her coat off. She imagined what he'd done with it. ,,Has Inej visited?"

He studied her for a moment. She felt uncomfortable as his eyes ran down her whole being. He found her eyes after his examination and said: ,,No, she hasn't yet. I bought her a boat, so she can hunt slavers and I'd be dissapointed if she's not doing exactly that."

Kaz said it simply, yet Nina was staring at him with a half-open mouth. This was neither of the ways she imagined. A strand of her hair brought her back and she closed her mouth. Kaz still didn't show any type of emotion. He looked bored almost.

,,I don't think you came here to visit me, Nina. What business?"

This I missed she thought, lightly smiling. She came back into her character. ,,I bring you some information." she leaned forward, placing her elbows onto the table. He slightly frowned. He was interested. Nina continued: ,,Without Inej here I think you might wanna know about a new visitor in The Barrel."

Kaz raised his eyebrows and she knew what that meant. There were many new visitors in The Barrel everyday, so why would this concern him?

,,I know what you're thinking, but she's not just some tourist who wandered off of Geldrenner Hotel, because she wanted to explore. She's here on some business." Nina leaned back in the chair as if she just said the combination to the most guarded safe in the world. She never meant to give Y/N up, but a newbie having so called business in The Barrel didn't sound like a friendly visit. It might be nothing, however one can't be too sure. In her interest, she thought, it should be nothing.

Kaz shifted his gaze from her, onto the table and then on the wall behind her, thinking. Nina didn't care what he will do with this information. She actually wanted to just visit him, but couldn't give him the pleasure of being liked. She really looked forward to visit them all, knowing Jesper and Wylan would welcome her warmly. Inej not being here was something she expected, but was quite sad nonetheless. She missed her the most.

Kaz looked back at her after a moment and nodded: ,,Thank you." Nina nodded back. It was all she would get from him, so she got up and took her coat from the back of the chair. Before she reached for the doorhandle, Kaz spoke again: ,,They're in Van Eck's mansion."

Nina turned back at him. He was already busy with some papers, not looking at her at all. Of course he knew she would visit them. She smiled, turning to face the door again and reached for the handle. In moments, she was outside and didn't spare a breath. Her feet walked the way to the mansion. It was getting late and with a bit of luck, Wylan would let her sleep over. With a bit more luck, she could even surprise them.

She crossed the East Stave and looked around, catching a familiar figure far from her. Maybe he wont care she thought, smiling as Y/n dissapeared from her view.

She better wish he wont.

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traumatised-confused-individual · 2 years

Text

Lies

An: I've been wanting to write a kanej fic just because i love love love the angst they deliver. Enjoy and also checkout my masterlist if you'd like to make requests<3

She watched him carefully, secretly in his room. He put his cane to the side and removed his gloves. Though most, almost all thought he hid nightmares behind them, Inej was the only one who knew his secret. He observed himself in the mirror, giving himself a long look. He searched for answers in his own eyes. He'd never rely on saints, never believed in any except for maybe Inej and he'd hoped she would have answers but he could never ask her for any.

"You don't need to hide." He knew she was there even when he couldn't tell if she was. It was his way of knowing she'd protect him, be there when he needed her. She'd look upon him as no saint ever did.

"I'm not hiding." The suli girl, climbed down. Her feet making no sound, not even of a whisper.

"Then you were waiting for the right time to say what you want to say." He doesn't look at her, he moves through his room.

"There is never a right time to say anything to you Kaz." She sighed

"Stop beating around the bush and say it." He said harshly then he had intended to. He cared for Inej, maybe even felt love for her. He's scared as any man would be. It wouldn't hurt to tell her but it brings risks and dangers. Something he doesn't want to put Inej through, though she's had her fair share it would be different if it was caused by him.

"Whatever business.." she began, she'd been used to his harsh words and blockade of feelings towards anything "you're starting with pekka rollins, I wish you wouldn't do it."

He finally turned to her, locking his eyes with her dark brown ones. His eyes lingering on every part of her face, studying her.

"You're the only one who knows the truth then why stop me." He said. Reminding her about the time he'd opened up to her.

She wanted to tell him why but would it really make a difference. Would he even care for her words as she did for his?

"He's dangerous." She said instead

"So am I." He says almost irritated.

"Kaz for once just listen to me." Inej pleaded.

"You are an investment Inej. Do not tell me what to do. If you can't be a part of it then leave."

He let his anger strike again, immediately regretting the words that came out of his mouth. He didn't understand why he would do this. He cared for her and yet he hurt her more than his enemies ever could. She stood there for a minute, letting his words fill her up. The reminder that she meant nothing to him. Even if she did it wouldn't matter because Kaz couldnt be anyone's. He belonged to himself. Then she was gone, her silence filled his room as he called out her name. Her feet made no sound against the rain either, no-one could see or feel her.

"Inej." He said one last time in a tiny whisper, hoping she'd come back in and listen to him. But when she didn't he knew what he had done.

He was out on the streets now looking for her. This time he had to set it right, tell her he didn't mean it. Tell her she was more than just an investment. Tell her she could have him, she could have him without armour just as she had wanted. But could he give himself to her?

"Inej!" He yelled once, twice, again in the empty streets of Ketterdam. She could hear him even though she was distant but she didn't want to be near him.

"Inej...I need you." He said softly, stopping in the middle of the dark alley. His clothes wet from the pouring rain.

"Why?" She stood infront of him, her brown skin shining from the little light that fell above it. He didnt look at her, not because he didn't want to but because he couldn't.

"Why Kaz? Aren't I just an investment?" She searched for answers, hopeless answers.

"No." He said eagerly, his eyes finding hers. "I mean.. you are but you're also not."

She sighed her eyes falling to her feet. "You're not making any sense Kaz. Why do you need me?" She asked one last time after it she promised to leave.

"Because..because.." he fell silent, a thousand words coming to him, yet none of them wanting to come out. She shook her head and turned. She walked slowly so that Kaz could tell he was losing her.

"Wait! Wait Inej.. just wait." He walked to her, leaving little distance between them.

"I can't tell you why. I can't tell you why I need you. I know why I do but its hard to tell you. No saint has ever cared for me the way you did. No-one has ever loved me as much after....You wanted me without armour, you told me. I couldn't give that to you, I still can't but I want to. Giving myself to you has it's risks and I can't be the one who hurts you. I can't be the one who hurts you Inej."

He breathes as if he just discared a bag filled with his burdens. He forces himself to look at her. Her brown eyes are already searching for his and when they find them they feel relief.

"Say something." He almost whispered.

"You don't need to protect me Kaz, I've been protecting myself all my life. I've lost my family, my home. You gave me a family, a home. But you can't have me and I can't have you, if you can't put your fears aside. If you can't trust me without your armour."

He understands what she wants. He doesn't understand why he can't give it to her.

"I trust you." He steps closer "I trust you with or without armour my Inej."

He leans in, his lips brushing over hers, finally giving in. She tastes of coffee and mint. Her lips feel soft against his. Inej wanted to beleive him, wanted to know he wouldn't swerve from his words. Did he really trust her? She gives in, wanting to know how it would feel when kaz did finally kiss her. His hand feels rough against her cheek, but it's warm and that helps since their soaking in the rain. He lets go and so does she, both still close to each other.

"Let's go home." He said smiling a little at her.

"Lets go home." She returned, walking with him.

Well this is it. All the kanej i could deliver today. I hope you like it. Check out my materlist if you want to make requests ly<3.

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thebestbookrecommendations · 2 years

Text

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

(Six of Crows #2)

Kaz Brekker and his crew of deadly outcasts have just pulled off a heist so daring even they didn't think they'd survive. But instead of divvying up a fat reward, they're right back to fighting for their lives. Double-crossed and badly weakened, the crew is low on resources, allies, and hope. As powerful forces from around the world descend on Ketterdam to root out the secrets of the dangerous drug known as jurda parem, old rivals and new enemies emerge to challenge Kaz's cunning and test the team's fragile loyalties. A war will be waged on the city's dark and twisting streets - a battle for revenge and redemption that will decide the fate of the Grisha world.

Read if You Like:

Fantasy/High Fantasy

Urban Fantasy

Magic

Romance

Adventure

LGBTQ Characters

Strong Female Characters

Ensemble Cast

World Building

Recommended if You Enjoy:

Leigh Bardugo (Ninth House, Six of Crows)

Stephanie Garber (Caraval)

4/5

First Book in Series:

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dracowars · 2 years

Note

hi again, could I request a Kaz brekker and reader fic where shes the complete opposite of him and is generally a really touchy person and they both like each other.. she thinks he likes inej while he thinks she likes Jesper (they're really close friends) and Kaz gets sorta insecure seeing her hugging jesper when shes excited and she comforts him+ confession? Again, its sorta specific but this ideas just been in the back of my head for so long!!💞

step by step | kaz brekker

pairing: kaz x reader

word count: 2,2k

summary: where kaz hates when y/n touches everyone when he can’t touch her

a/n: with this request i officially announce that from now on i will take requests for kaz brekker! <3

warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of blood

universe: grishaverse

The indescribable fear makes it extremely difficult for you to breathe, making it almost impossible for you to control your thoughts lest they become completely submerged in dark abysses. You sit there tense, in the middle of the Crow Club, surrounded by the most disgusting creatures Ketterdam has to offer. But your gaze is fixed on the open door, revealing the nocturnal streets of Ketterdam, which appear even more gloomy in the dark than during the day. You keep catching yourself looking at the clock on the wall, but it seems like time is not moving forward at all.

They have been gone far too long. Something must have happened.

You were not thrilled at all when Kaz shared his doomed plan with you this morning: break into one of the best-protected houses in town. And, if that would not already be difficult enough, he did not want Inej or you with him, which made the plan all the more dangerous. This time all he wanted was Jesper by his side, and once Kaz Brekker has his mind set on something, he will do so, whatever the cost.

That is why you are sitting here right now, completely terrified and anxious, waiting for them to return soon. If they take any longer, you will go look for them. You can even see the concern on Inej’s face, but of course she tries to not let it show. She trusts them and so do you, but you just cannot ignore the fact that they have been out for way too long by now.

At first you do not even notice when a shadow steps into the large doorframe, blocking the wind from roaring through the club’s warm interior. It takes a moment for your eyes to focus and your heart leaps as you recognize them.

They are back and it looks like they are not injured.

Immediately, you jump up from your chair and run towards them, not really caring that you bump into some guests on the way. Your heart throbs as you get closer to the two standing there as if nothing had happened: Jesper with his charming smile on his face as if he would like to take part in the next game right away and Kaz with that blank expression that nobody really knows how to define.

However, Inej is faster than you and is already in front of them before you reach them as well. You see them looking at each other – Kaz and Inej – and you know that their looks speak louder than a thousand words, at the same time digging a dagger into your aching heart. Trying not to show this, you quickly fall into Jesper’s arms, who – of course, as always – expected it and catches you with a chuckle before telling you all about how their mission went. While Jesper tells you everything, you do not even notice the burning gaze on you.

In fact, they succeeded, and Kaz is seen as even more unbeatable from now on.

“You should have seen me! It was a piece of cake, they did not stand a chance”, Jesper boasts happily, proud of himself and his abilities, before lovingly throwing his arm around Inej, taking her into his headlock. “Maybe we could have needed you out there though. Kaz was having a bit of trouble with that one lock-”

“Everything went according to plan, like I said”, Kaz interrupts him, no emotion in his voice, making you look at him properly for the first time since they arrived. However, you would not have expected that your eyes would meet his directly. For a moment, it feels as if time has come to a complete halt – not that it went by faster before, but at least it did not stop like it does right now. There is a look in his eyes you cannot quite read and as quickly as this little moment between the two of you came, it is gone again as he averts his gaze, a coldness crossing his features.

“You have to tell me about everything in detail. I want to know what you did!”, you tell Jesper, whose grin only widens at your words, making it much easier for you to quickly forget this brief meaningless moment with Kaz. Jesper wraps the arm, that is not already around Inej, around you and tilts his head slightly to whisper something in your ear. His words make you laugh out loud, Jesper tagging along immediately.

“Jesper, I need to talk to you”, Kaz’s implacable voice suddenly speaks up behind you as you three have just turned away to stroll to an empty table in the back. With you at his side, Jesper turns back to him, all happiness drained from his face, now taken over by utter frustration. Silently you look at Kaz and catch him looking at you for the split of a second, your heartbeat increasing right away. However, this only lasts until you see Inej smile at him, and his features relax for a moment.

You have to do something about your feelings real quick or they will kill you one day.

“Inej, I also have an important task for you. Please come to my office later”, Kaz mentions in passing and does not even look at you again. Somehow you cannot shake the feeling that something is not right at all. Kaz’s behavior is always unique, but today it is different than usual, somehow weird.

════════════

“Kaz? Can I come in?”, you ask cautiously after gently knocking on the door. It is always better to stick to his rules, even when you are sure he is alone right now – you do not want him to keep up this weird behavior from today, and not knocking would probably make it worse. Jesper went to gambling straight away after his conversation with Kaz and Inej passed you just a few minutes earlier, presumably on her way to fulfill whatever Kaz instructed her to do for him now.

For a few seconds, there is complete silence on the other side of the door before he finally answers you, inviting you in.

Slowly, you open the door to reveal his somewhat very messy office today, which is usually not like him at all. You carefully walk in and let the door slam shut behind you, but not even then does he look up from his desk, too immersed in whatever he is looking at there. He does not seem to care about your presence at all, which stabs your heart a couple of times. You honestly do not know what you expected when coming here, but certainly not this kind of dismissive behavior.

Usually, his office is his safe place, a place where he can act freely and where he opens up from time to time. You have stood here several times and watched him let his emotions run free, behind closed doors of course. But he is behaving weirdly different now, as well as the whole day already.

After he still does not make a move to look at you after a few minutes, you finally gather all your courage and step closer to his desk.

“What is going on?”, you ask quietly, somewhat afraid of what his reaction to such a simple question might be. He is Kaz Brekker after all, you never know how he will react.

“Nothing. What should be going on?”, he replies with disinterest, coldly, still not taking his eyes off the paper in front of him.

“I just wanted to ask if everything really went well today. You seemed a bit.. different”, you honestly admit your concerns and stare at him spellbound, waiting for any reaction. Eventually, this awaited reaction consists of him abruptly stopping whatever he was doing there, leaning back in his chair and resting his hand on the head of his cane, which was previously propped up against the table. As he looks directly at you, he raises an eyebrow questioningly.

“I already told you everything went according to plan”, Kaz replies dryly, no sign of any emotion neither in his expression nor in his voice. “If you do not mind, I would like to continue working now.”

At his words you stare at him in bewilderment. First, he has been acting weird towards you the whole day, then he completely ignores you when you approach him, and now he just sends you off, just like that? Disappointment washes over your features immediately, your heart painfully beating against your chest. You knew Kaz Brekker could be cold but did not know how freezing cold he could actually be.

“I-I-”, you stutter out when the words in your head do not want to form a comprehensible sentence at first. “I would like to help. Let me help Inej or Jesper with whatever you have asked them-”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“There is no reason why you should help them. It is unnecessary.”

“Oh, because I am so useless, you mean”, you let out in a huff, followed by a humorless chuckle, shaking your head in disappointment when his eyes grow bigger for the split of a second.

“That is not what I-”

“Then why do you never let me take part in the missions?! So, all of a sudden, I have become too bad for the Dregs or what? As soon as I try to do something with Jesper, you immediately stop us – or should I say – me. If it were completely up to you, I probably would not even be allowed to hug him anymore”, you yell at him angrily, unable to control your emotions any longer. However, these only become more frantic when he does not react to your words. Kaz sits there, motionless, unphased, just staring at you in silence.

“If this continues, I do not know if I want to be part of this whole thing anymore. I honestly do not understand what your problem is, Kaz”, you add, lowering your voice at the end, not having the strength to argue with him. You would lose anyway. When Kaz Brekker wants something, he gets it.

“You are my problem”, his harsh voice suddenly speaks up behind you after you have already turned to leave, unable to bear his presence any longer. Abruptly, you stop at his statement and blink away your tears before turning to face him.

“Yes, I know. You did not exactly make it difficult for me to notice-”

“Because you are buzzing around in my head every day, hourly, no, every second, not letting me rest. You rob me of my sleep and do not give me a damn free minute because my head cannot seem to think of anything else but you, Y/N!”, Kaz bursts out and suddenly shows a side of himself that you have never experienced before. He appears vulnerable and hurt. “And then when I see you and have to watch you treat everyone so warmly and lovingly, like you wish you could hug the whole world, I cannot fucking take it, okay?! I cannot stand not being able to touch you”, he adds annoyed, his hand so close to touching your cheek after standing up in his emotional outburst, now being only a few meters in front of you.

You stand there, perplexed and speechless, his face hovering a little above you, not daring to move. If you moved your hand just a tiny bit, a tiny little bit, you would feel his skin against yours, but you do not. His words have attacked you out of nowhere, stunning you entirely.

“I hate to see how you treat Jesper. How you are not afraid to touch him. Sometimes I envy him for that”, Kaz whispers to himself when you do not say anything, his hand clenched into a fist now as he realizes he cannot touch you, that he cannot get over his inner demons, and finally pulls his hand away completely.

“You do not have to touch me to show your affection, Kaz”, you finally reply with caution, afraid of using the wrong words and scaring him off. You do not want him to shut you out again. “I suffer too. Every time you come back from a heist, bruised, bleeding and totally out of your mind, I would give anything to hug you and show you that there is someone out there who is here for you, who protects you like you always protected us, who will always be here, waiting for you to return. It hurts, but I am willing to work on it. For us”, you explain hopefully and give him a tender smile, which he apparently did not expect because he suddenly takes a small step back.

“We can start with very small steps, Kaz”, you whisper to him gently, reaching behind him for one of his gloves that he had previously placed on the table. With all the care you can muster, he allows you to touch his hand, your skin separated only by the cold leather of his black glove. Looking deep into each other’s eyes, in which you suddenly discover so much hope and love, you quietly add: “I love you and we can do it, together. Step by step.”

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allegra-writes · 3 years

Note

hi i was just wondering if you are taking requests for kaz. if yes can i'd like to request a kaz x fem!reader, where kaz gets jealous. you can do whatever you want with the story, it might end in confessions or confrontation anything you like, if you want, if not feel free to ignore. have a lovely day <3

Oh, boy. Oh, dear. You really shouldn't tell me that I can do whatever I want with the story cuz, chances are, I'm gonna make it smutty. Sorry if that wasn't what you wanted but I really can't help myself 😔

This story might contain elements from the books, but is still 28 year old show!Kaz.

"Untouchable"

Kaz Brekker x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Enough UST to burn Ketterdam to the ground.

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME COFFEE

The lips moving insistently against yours were warm and soft, the hands exploring your body, skillful. Their owner, Misha, a handsome, polite ravkan guy that had dreamy eyes and smelled nice, clean, which was more than you could say of a lot of the men in the Barrel. There was absolutely no reason for the little voice in the back of your head screaming wrong, claiming for you to push him away, so you squashed it down, and continued to kiss back.

As Misha's hand moved from your hip to your thigh, another, louder part of your brain wondered if Kaz could see you in Misha's embrace, from the other side of the club. You wished with perverse intent that he did.

You were being petty and immature, you knew that, but the Wraith was back visiting. The Wraith with her lovely face and big doe eyes and inky black hair and gorgeous amber skin, goldened by the ocean sun… the Wraith that Kaz called Inej and had once been his favourite spy and slept in his room and moved like shadows, silent like a vampire and even more deadly, while you were just a common, useless sun summoner, like the thousands that had awaken a couple years ago, when Alina Starkov had sacrificed her powers and her life to get rid of the fold. And not even a good one, at that, you were honesty pretty bad at calling the light, but you were great at bending it, and that's what had gotten you a place in the Dregs, making yourself and the others invisible so you could get in and out unnoticed at every heist.

That was what made you such a valuable asset for the gang. Granted, not as much as the Wraith had been back in the day, but valuable nonetheless. That was why Kaz liked to keep you so close, why he was so protective of you, always checking on you first, making sure you had backup constantly and always demanded the healer tend to you before anyone else including himself. Making sure your room was dry and warm with as much sunlight as you needed, keeping you plied with Shu teas and zemeni chocolate as if you were still living at the little palace...

It hurt a little to realize that was all there was to it: Kaz keeping his star player safe and happy, instead of… well, what you actually wanted it to mean. But hope was a dangerous thing, it clouded judgements, the best illusions were the most convincing and none more convincing than those we tell ourselves, Kaz himself had taught you that. Better to get rid of it forever.

So you let yourself sink further into the heat of the kiss, relishing the comfort of human contact after being touch starved for so long. Admittedly, Misha might not have been your first option, but you couldn't be lonely any longer. Ketterdam was just too cold, too harsh, too cruel, you needed to take the warmth where you could.

… Except, Misha's warmth had just disappeared, teared off and away from you in an instant. You blinked, disoriented. And then you had to blink again, cause what you were seeing didn't make any sense.

When you opened your eyes again, Kaz was still standing in front of you, perfect features contorted in barely restrained fury, one hand leaning heavily on his cane, the other twisted in Misha's blond locks, keeping him up and away from you.

"Kaz… what the hell?"

"B-boss, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Shut up" He hissed to the terrified boy, eyes never leaving yours, "You, in my office, now"

You nodded, numbly, and he finally let go of the blond boy, who fell to the floor in a heap, not daring to stand up until you and Kaz had disappeared up the stairs.

The sound of the lock clicking shut behind you was deafening in the small soundproof room. You expected Kaz to step away from you once he closed the door, or at least to step aside, instead he stayed right were he was, crowding you against the wall, close enough for the pupils of his eyes to become unfocused when you tried to fix your gaze on them.

It was disconcerting, he wasn't one for physical closeness. But he seemed as surprised and helpless as you, rooted in place by a strange force, pulled toward each other like gravity, close enough to touch.

Light years away.

"Give me one good reason" He rasped, "for me not to cut every single one of Misha's fingers right now"

That sobered you up.

"What? Kaz, are you serious? You have absolutely no reason to hurt him!"

"Don't I?" His voice was soft, dangerous, "What exactly makes you think he can put his hands on you and get to keep them?"

You rolled your eyes at your boss' intensity.

"Listen, Kaz, I know you protect your investments, but I promise you, Mish was not going to hurt me"

"If I thought he was going to hurt you, he wouldn't be still breathing"

"Then what-"

"HE DOESN'T GET TO TOUCH YOU" He bellowed, making you flinch. Inhaling, he collected himself before adding, more calmly, "No one does"

Your heart skipped a beat, faltering only to start galloping with a vengance. Hope was a very dangerous thing indeed…

"Why?"

"Y/N-"

"No. Tell me, Kaz, why can't Misha touch me?"

He sighed, all the fury, all the fire gone, something very close to defeat in his eyes as he asked,

"Do you want him to?"

You had never seen Kaz like that, you doubted anyone ever had. He wasn't dirtyhands in that moment, he wasn't the feared demon of the barrel. He looked young, vulnerable.

Honest.

And honesty was rare in Ketterdam, even rarer inside Kaz Brekker's office. You figured the least you could do was show him honesty in return.

"The one I want touching me isn't interested in that sort of thing" You tried for a nonchalant shrug but we're quite sure you fell short, the catch in your voice probably giving away how personal you took it, even tho you tried not to: You knew Kaz wasn't one for skin on skin contact in general, not just with you. You had seen it in the way he always hesitated for a fraction of a second before shaking hands to seal a deal, in the careful way he angled his body as to not bump into anyone in the crowded streets of the harbor, in the way he always held himself just a little further away from anyone than what was natural.

He squinted, giving you a look you knew and hated, it was the look he gave you whenever you couldn't guess where his plans were going, the one that suggested he thought you were being particularly daft.

"You think I don't want to touch you?"

There was no point in denying it, or pretend it wasn't him you were talking about, you knew he would see right through your bullshit. So you said nothing, bracing yourself for the brutal rejection no doubt was coming, for dirtyhands to murder the fragile dove of hope you were nurturing, cradling inside your chest, once and for all.

What he said instead caught you completely off guard.

"How?"

"Kaz?"

"You said you want me to touch you, how would you have me touching you?" He explained. You searched for the catch, the joke, the trick. You found none inside his blown pupils. "Bare handed, skin on skin? Or maybe-"

"No" You cut him short. The image didn't feel right, there was something just too raw, too exposed, about Kaz' pale hands stripped off their defences. "I… I want you just the way you are, Kaz," You confessed, and you were the one stripped defenceless, "armour and all"

Your eyes zeroed on his throat as he swallowed hard, a new determination straightening his back.

"Stay very, very still…"

Every single one of your muscles froze, locking into place, lids falling shut as you waited for his next move with bated breath. You could feel him, hovering over you, his warmth bathing every inch of your body through the few inches separating you. You splayed your hands on the cold wall behind you, trying to ground yourself, to not to get swept into his current, cause you felt you could disappear completely, mind, body and soul consumed by him. You wondered, not for the first time, if there wasn't some truth in the rumours that there was something inhuman, something demonic in him.

His breath was hot against your face, and you could almost feel his lips where they lingered above yours, barely a hair away. Your own parted involuntarily and you heard his quivering exhale.

You breathed him in.

Feeling more than hearing the growl that reverberated deep in his chest, you sank further into the wall, not trusting your legs to hold you up. No, not when his breaths were moving lower, caressing your jaw, your neck, the hollow of your throat, sending shivers down your spine, making every little hair on your body stand on end.

"K-kaz…"

"Don't move. Don't you dare to move."

You wouldn't, you couldn't.

You were rooted to the spot, like a willow as the hurricane crashed over it, as Kaz continued his exploration, nose buried into your hair as he greedily, hungrily Inhaled your scent.

There was a moment of panic as you felt him retreat, but it was short lived, as the cool night breeze suddenly hit your chest, indicating he had flicked undone the ribbon of your peasant blouse, baring you to his gluttonous stare. You hissed as he blew hot air on your nipples, first one, then the other, until they pebbled before his eyes, as you scratched the wall, leaving nail marks on his fine wallpaper.

The loss of his heat disoriented you, creaking of the floorboard letting you know he had taken a step back, the new distance a gelid ocean as cold and insurmountable as the Fjerdan sea. You took a moment to collect yourself, wondering if that was even possible when you had been undone brick by brick, in typical Brekker fashion, only to be built up and remade at his liking.

No one had ever owned you like Kaz Brekker had just done, without even touching you.

When you finally opened your eyes, he was already watching you, icy blues on fire as he took you in.

You looked thoroughly debauched, eyes alight with desire, cheeks flushed, half naked, fine layer of sweat covering the generous amount of skin on display.

But he looked just as wrecked as you, breathing just as hard, his usually impeccably styled hair falling over his eyes.

"As of this moment, you are completely off limits for every single dreg and crow out there" He declared, voice as demolished as you felt. You almost snorted, he might as well had declared you off limits for the whole of Ketterdam. "No one can touch you. Ever.

Not Jesper with his high fives, not Wylan with his hugs. No one. Or they will have me to answer to"

You nodded, because what was there to say? You were his, completely and irrevocably, and everybody knew Kaz Brekker didn't share.

"Come here" He said, eyes softening, deft fingers closing your top and tying the lace back together into a neat and delicate little bow far prettier than the ones you made.

Neither one of you said another word as you turned around and left, feeling Kaz' gaze still on you as a physical caress.

On jelly legs, you made your way back to the club, deciding to face the curious looks they would no doubt be sending your way head on. Better to get used to it, you thought. By dawn, you were sure the word would have spread beyond the club walls, to the Razor Gulls, and the Black Tips and what was left of the dime lions all the way through the fifth harbor.

By dawn, the entire city would have know your name: Y/N, the Untouchable.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x reader smut #kaz brekker fluff #six of crows #shadow and bone #netflix #freddy carter

2K notes · View notes

sumsebien · 3 years

Text

shadow and bone masterlist

Welcome to my S&B masterlist! 🥰

🏷 here is my taglist and the show/ people I write for

*: nsfw

the darkling:

how i won the war *: part 1; part 2 ; part 3

summary: general kirigan’s plans backfire. sun summoner!y/n finds herself torn between love and country, truth and deception

preview:

The mythical stag with antlers that curled into a majestic crown, a folklore came true from the bones of Sankt Ilya in Chains. Morozova’s stag whose powers could augment Grisha powers. His power and her power.

Y/N didn’t think it was true, naturally, having been raised to believe it to be no more than bedtime stories. “But the stag has never been found,” she said, playing with his hands, mindlessly tracing the lines in his palms.

General Kirigan closed his fingers around hers, running his thumb along the back of her hand. She shifted her neck, twisting around to meet his dark cool gaze. “Until now.”

kaz brekker:

you are done for (1.8k)

summary: kaz is convinced that you were in grave danger when actually, it was just your birthday.

preview:

Kaz wasn’t scheming. He was worried. It was way past the eighth bell, even Jesper was here and you were nowhere to be found. Where the hell could you be? What could be holding you up at 8 on a Wednesday night? Apart from being kidnapped, tortured and murdered? asked the little voice in his head. Nothing.

i don't want to be alone (1.2k)

summary: kaz is sick

preview:

He did not look fine, by the way. His hair was floppy from constantly running his hand through, the bags under his eyes were more permanent than most days and his nose was red. He was sniffling as well but was doing so as discreetly as one could. He didn’t look like the formidable crime lord he usually was but rather a tired, burnt out boy desperately in need of a break.

matthias helvar:

-> blurbs:

in the wake (dad!matthias)

nikolai lantsov:

-> one shots:

a dare for a truth (3.5k)

summary: a night in Ketterdam promises Nikolai a tattoo and maybe something more.

preview:

Finally, shots down. Nikolai decided to take his chance. “Tell me something real about you.”

“Ah, you’d have to pay me for that.”

Nikolai did not hesitate to pull out a couple of kruge from his pocket. She laughed when she saw that. “I am not a wishing well. I don’t take coins.” She had her elbow against the counter, turning to face him. “How about you play my games and I tell you? A dare for a truth.”

you bring me home (1.1k)

summary: nikolai is overworked and you are worried

preview:

He gave a weak nod and you pulled him into your arms. His skin was cool to the touch, melting into your warmth. He leaned against you like ice on a balmy summer’s day, his hands shaking gently as they fell around your waist.

“I’m so tired,” he confessed, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

run away with me * (5k)

summary: Y/N had been Nikolai's for forever. Until she wasn't.

preview: You could make sweet promises to love, to hold and to cherish Vasily before the arbor, the priest and the saints. Never once faltering. But you would never really believe it.

scars and all (1k)

summary: Post R&R, Nikolai doesn’t like his hands very much but Y/N does.

preview:

“Nikolai,” you said quietly, disguising a sigh which Nikolai could still catch. “Why are you wearing them to bed?”

“I always go to bed naked. Might be fun to change things up for a bit,” Nikolai joked with a wink and a wobbly smile, retrieving his hand from you.

Most of the time, no matter how terrible the joke was, you would at least still offer him a pitiful smile or a short laugh. But this time, you held onto the grim silence.

“Please just answer me.”

loving you is the antidote (2.7k)

summary: once upon a ball, friends with benefits become something more or... less?

preview:

“You will eventually have to marry, Nikolai. That’s all I’m saying.”

“No, I don’t. I can do whatever I want,” Nikolai said, jabbing a finger to his chest. “And I will.”

You smiled. “An illusion is all it is. We both know you know better than that, moi tsar,” you said, walking away.

Nikolai didn’t stop you this time. He just stared because that was all he could do. For the first time, he didn’t have a clever comeback, no witty remarks. The only thing left on his tongue was a bitter aftertaste of a love he could never have.

“I will see you later?” he croaked, calling after you like a needy little boy afraid of sleeping in the dark.

“Maybe.”

exes don't have to be enemies (1.6k)

summary: exes to friends with a bit of zoyalai but make everything healthy

preview:

“Y/N,” you blinked at his voice. Nikolai was now right in front of you, holding your hand. “You have me. I don’t know what you think you have to do. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I do.”

He sighed, “Alright. Where are you planning to go?”

“Novyi Zem.”

“Novyi Zem? What are you going to do there? Live your cottage life as a jurda farmer in nowheresville? That’s not who you are.”

-> blurbs

“heavy is the head that wears the crown”

hey, hazel eyes

heartrender husbands (fedyor + ivan)

being besties with the heartrender husbands headcanons

#aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova fanfiction #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x yn #the darkling imagine #the darkling fanfiction #the darkling x reader #the darkling x yn #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan fanfiction #general kirigan x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x yn #sumsebien masterlist

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corpsebasil · 3 years

Text

Easily Replaced | part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

Kaz Rietveld didn't need a reason.

You knew this, of course, as you always had, but it was most clear the day you, Jordie, and Kaz stepped foot into Ketterdam. The two brothers were, as long as you’d known them, ambitious. Ketterdam would fuel that ambition.

"For you, Sankta." Jordie Rietveld laughed, and covered your eyes with his hands.

He was thirteen—much too old for you, as you were only eight, and though you were teased back in southern Kerch for hanging around with him so much Jordie was something like a brother to you. Your own parents were gone—your mother a woman who died too young and your father a mystery.

"I thought you were getting me food." Kaz scoffed, plucking the wrapped omelette out of your hands before you even had a moment to see it.

"Kaz!" You shrieked as you tore out of Jordie's grasp, lunging for the food, but Kaz simply laughed in return, looping his arm around your shoulders and tugging you along, sharing the omelette between them.

The omelette stands in Ketterdam were Kaz and your favorites.

"(Y/N), wait." Jordie called and you paused, turning to glance over at him. His expression was wide and happy—the happiest he'd been in a long time, since he and Kaz's father had died. "Welcome home." He said, and you smiled.

"WAIT!" You yelped, lurching into sitting position so fast your head spun.

He was there, you thought, still blinking away the image of Jordie from behind your eyes.

Your heart raced and your eyes stung as you stood, scanning the streets several stories below you. You’d fallen asleep on the window pane after sneaking into your room at the Slat—if Kaz wanted you gone that night, you’d be gone by morning just to spite him. If only so you had more time to snoop around.

You weren’t expecting the dreams again.

You wiped your hands over your face and sighed, blinking away the remnants of sleep and forcing Jordie to the back of your mind. Jordie Rietveld would always stay in the very back of your mind, in the dregs; you’d think about him only during your last breath, and wouldn't let yourself do it one moment before then.

You crept out of your room and glanced around its interior once more, hefting your satchel over your shoulder. You’d miss this place—you’d miss Ketterdam, but if leaving helped keep certain memories at bay and kept a certain someone from bashing your head in it was worth the risk.

Your feet were silent when you finally dropped to the streets outside and ran, taking back-ally's and fire-escapes and rooftops as you traveled across Ketterdam on a route few knew. Your mask was pulled up and your hood rippled behind you, your shape merely a black speck against the moonless sky.

When you reached the Crow Club you ducked the guards and snuck through a window at the top. If there was anything to be known about the heist for one million kruge the Dregs had been murmuring about, Kaz would know about it. And if you were anything you were vengeful, and you’d get that prize to earn your freedom or you’d die trying.

"The Orchid isn't Dime Lions turf." Kaz's rock salt voice reached you and you paused, one foot sinking into the plush carpet of your old friend's office.

"Well, it's a new acquisition." Another voice purred, and your blood ran cold.

You knew that voice.

That voice had haunted you for years.

"You heard it here first." The voice continued, and you dropped into a crouch, tugging your hood over your head as you crept towards the office.

Your heart dropped into your stomach.

Kaz was being held on his knees by a nondescript man with a sneer on his face while Pekka, Pekka Rollins, clutched Kaz's cane like he owned it. Your stomach rolled as you took in Pekka's face and you barely stopped yourself from gagging.

It was him.

It was the man who killed Jordie.

"Now, I know you saw Dreesen," Pekka continued, oblivious to the assassin hardly ten feet away who was contemplating his inevitable death. "You got the jump on whatever job he has. I don't know the details...obviously, just that you have a little travel hazard ahead of you. So. Here's the deal: you can do nothing—walk away from it. I'll tell Dreesen I'm taking over for you." He paused, a cruel smile on his face. "Then we're even."

"Not even close—" Kaz began, and you tensed. You knew the man holding him, touching him, was causing him agony.

You had to stop it. You had decided long ago that Pekka Rollins' death would be slow. You could make it last for hours—could make blades sing until he was nothing left but a scrap on a table, but something fast might have to do.

"The other option is..." Pekka began, leaning forward to press the beak of Kaz's cane against his jugular, and you lunged. "I'll cave your head in with your own—"

"Let go of him." You snarled and, quick as an asp, had one of your many blades nestled dangerously against Pekka's throat.

Kaz let out a sharp breath and tensed as the man holding him pulled out a gun, pressing it to his temple to balance the odds.

"Sankta Riipka," Pekka mused, seemingly unaffected by the knife against his neck. "it's nice to finally make your aqu—"

"Shut up, pig." You spat and dug the blade in deeper, your eyes snapping up to the man next to Kaz. You felt steel against your head and froze—

—you’d forgotten about the other member of Pekka's trio.

"By the time you kill me," Pekka began, oozing calm that made to your blood boil, "my friend here will shoot your friend. And then you." He made to twist in his chair and you tightened your grip, stilling him. You knew you were drawing blood. "You ought to make the wise decision here, Riipka."

"Let him go." You repeated, heart pounding violently, refusing to look at Kaz even as you felt the gun against the back of your head push harder. "Let him go or I swear on all Saints I'll slit your throat right here."

The room was quiet for several beats before the man holding Kaz shoved him, knocking your friend—was he your friend?—to the floor. You made no move to remove the knife—your chest was tight and your breathing uneven. Jordie's face was flashing behind your eyes and this moment, this moment, killing Pekka, was what you had been waiting for.

You could do it.

Why couldn't you do it?

You could—

"Stop." Kaz breathed and you froze, meeting his stare. His face was serious but his eyes—they were filled with pain. "Just stop."

"You should listen to Mr. Brekker." Pekka crooned and your gritted your teeth, biting back a snarl as you removed the knife and swung, knocking the gun out of the man behind you’s hands.

He threw his arms up and froze but Pekka simply laughed, eyeing you like you were a monkey at a circus. You felt small and, for the first time in a long time, like you were eight years old again, sweating with a burning illness and being sheltered by a widow who had no kids of her own.

You felt like you were eight years old, managing to survive the plague and stumbling down to the docks, half-drunk with a barely broken fever and finding Kaz laying drenched in sea-water on a dock, screaming at you in agony.

It was Pekka's fault.

It was all his—

"No one has to die today, Riipka," Pekka smirked at whatever he saw in your eyes and brushed past, chuckling to his accomplices as they left the office and slammed the door behind them.

The room was silent for several moments before you turned, watching Kaz as he stared at the floor, making no move to stand.

"Let me help you—" you began, reaching out to offer a gloved hand but he jolted, deer-in-headlight-eyes flashing to yours.

"Don't touch me." He snapped, face flushing, and the knot in your throat threatened to burst.

He pushed himself awkwardly to his feet and scrambled for his cane, one hand absently on his leg as he winced. It was terrible to watch—he was strong all the time, and so serious but this...

...this was him broken. And you weren’t sure if you could handle seeing it.

"I should've killed him," you started over, hands trembling as you resisted the urge to reach out to him. You didn't know if you wanted to help or if you just wanted, needed, his touch. "I should've—"

"You should've been gone by now." He swallowed roughly as his cane hit the floor with a thud, eyes snapping back to yours. "I had it handled. We all could've died tonight because of—"

"Don't you dare blame me for—"

"Well if you had just left when I asked—"

"I'm not leaving you!" You shrieked, yanking off your mask and hood so that you could breathe better. "You can boss me around and yell at me and treat me like Jordie was my fault all you want but—"

"I don't think that," he interrupted, his face stricken as he stared at you. "Saints, (Y/N)." You were silent for a moment, both breathing heavily, before he shook his head and turned away. "If you're not going to leave me alone, at least leave the Club. I can't—" he paused, sighing exasperatedly. "I can't deal with this tonight."

Without waiting for a reply he strode out the door and shut it, locking it behind him so you’d have to leave out the window. You waited for several moments until you were sure he was gone, strode over to the spare couch around the corner and screamed into the pillow until your throat hurt.

@iamnoobmaster69 @emil7y @balmasedas @euphoniumpets @subjecta13-thefangirl @itisroe @thefandomplace @ambrosia-v-black @i-padfoot-things @kaitlyn2907

hiii sorry I know this one was kinda angsty but it’s gonna spice up soon HA

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #wattpad #shadow and bone #six of crows #angst #Ketterdam #kanej #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #freddy carter #Jordie Rietveld

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