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insanitybl00m · 1 month

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Tales From Underneath The Wisteria Tree Chapter 12 - Nightmares and Flowers

Phil took a deep breath. “So Missa…”

“What is it querido?” The sweetness of his voice. The sweetness Phil didn’t deserve. He was a terrible person for lying to Missa. A lie by omission.

He paused, and faltered before letting out a deep sigh and finally coming clean. Finally removing the weight off his chest. “I’m a fae. I didn’t mean to—“

Missa took a step back. His face was one of pure disgust. “Get the hell away from me.”

“Missa I—“

“Don’t say my name, I never should have told you it.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—l

“I Said. Get Out.” Missa yelled.

Phil ripped off the emerald necklace and left it on the table. He left, tears falling down his face. Hiccuping sobs were uncontrollably taking over.

He was alone again. All the hope he had was squashed. You’d think after hundreds of years Phil would be used to the aching pain of loneliness but the black void was eating at his heart.

But there he was.

Crying.

Alone.

Desperate.

So why was the breeze still warm? Why didn’t it blow cold? Why didn’t it sting his tear stained cheeks? That’s what he deserved. He was a terrible person. He was a liar. He deserved all of the pain he was feeling because he hurt Missa.

Then the breeze rubbed away his tears and quietly whispered:

“What’s wrong querido?”

Phil blinked his eyes open. Missa? Missa was mad at him. Missa wanted him to leave and never come back. Missa told him to get out.

“You had a nightmare Philza, you woke me up because you were crying. What happened?” Missa continued to wipe away the tears that refused to stop falling.

“I thought it was real—“ he buried his face in Missa’s chest.

“The nightmare?” Phil nodded.

“Oh querido I’m sorry.” Missa rubbed his hands up and down Phil’s back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’ve been hiding something from you and I told you and you freaked out. You told me to leave and never come back.”

“Do you want to tell me? I promise nothing could make me leave.”

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.” Phil murmured.

“Oh querido,” Missa whispered before he kissed the top of Phil’s head. “I’m not trying to make false promises. I genuinely cannot think of a single thing to make me hate you.”

Phil was still sobbing into his chest.

“You don’t have to tell me but I just want to be here, is that ok?”

“Don’t leave.”

“I won’t.”

“I can’t tell you…”

“That’s okay, you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Right now I’ll just hold you, is that good?” Missa felt Phil move against his chest, pulling himself even closer to Missa. “Do you want me to just talk? I always find someone just talking to me to be soothing. It helps me ground myself in reality, you know, to confirm that the nightmare wasn’t real.”

“That would be nice.”

“Well, most of my stories are about my son so I hope you don’t mind stories of him as a kid.”

“How did you know he was a changeling?”

“Well that’s a funny story, are you sure you want me to share it right now? We’re both tired, you might fall asleep.”

“I won’t.”

“Ok amor, I’ll remind you of that tomorrow.” Missa laughed as Phil made a little ‘hmph’ noise.

He thought up how to best explain the moment he first met Chayanne. As he continued to run his hands up and down Phil’s back he started to smooth out the little feathers that trailed from his wings onto his shoulder blades.

“Well my son was about three when I found him. He was in a little bush and he had blueberry juice all over his face. It looked a little like blood so I rushed over to see if he was hurt.”

“Like juice was just spread across his face?”

“To be fair I was far away and it was red. But when I noticed it was just juice I cleaned up his face. He looked at me with these baby eyes and clung to my leg when I tried to stand up. I wasn’t planning on leaving him, I just tried to see if I could get him help. So instead I picked him up and I noticed he had a tail.”

“Tallulah has a cow tail like a huldra, she just wraps it around her waist when she’s around humans.”

“My son doesn’t have wings like her, is that normal?”

“Normal enough, most changelings have wings but roughly ten percent of them don’t.”

“Oh thank the stars, I didn’t even think that it could be a problem before right now. Anyway, my son had these bright purple eyes, like mine. And I just kind of knew he was mine, or at least meant for me. He was my gift from the stars.”

“We’re going to get him back.”

“I know. I’m not going to just stand around and wait though, today we’re going to the pixie fields.”

“In a bit though, you need more rest. I’m sorry I woke you up with my silly nightmare.”

“It’s not silly. Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go back to sleep amor, we can probably get a few more hours of sleep before Tallulah wakes up.”

“Good point.” Missa felt Phil pull himself out of his arms.

“Where are you going mi querido?”

“I hate sleeping on my back, my wings feel trapped. I need to adjust.”

“Oh. You’ve slept on your back the past few nights, I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine, just something else I never told you…” Phil murmured.

“Ok but I need hugs from you to help me sleep, how else am I supposed to help you if you’ve had a nightmare?”

“Uh—“

“I know!” Missa got up and shifted the pillows before laying back down. “Rest your head here,” he gestured to his shoulder.

“And lay on you?”

“Mhm! Cuddles and you’re comfy.”

Missa kept him safe, Missa instantly took care of him when he expressed discomfort. So why the hell was he still so scared of Missa’s reaction to him being a fae.

Still, Missa’s suggestion to help him sleep better worked. He was laying on Missa and as soon as he managed to stretch out his wings he fell asleep.

Missa didn’t sleep. He told Phil to sleep and he had every intention to do the same but he couldn’t help but stare at Phil.

His golden hair was just faintly visible in the darkness. The rise and fall of his chest pressed gently against Missa’s. His warm breath floated across Missa’s collarbone.

He was calm, he was at peace. Phil’s wings were spread out across the bed, soft pillows of feathers. He ran his hands through them.

“Mhm… comfy…”

“Is that good mi amor?”

“Love.” Was that an answer? Was Phil translating the nickname? Was Phil saying he loved him?

“Keep sleeping, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Missa felt a small kiss placed on his shoulder before Phil drifted back off. He smiled down at his angel. His feathers were soft and he clung to the sweet sounds Phil made despite him still being asleep.

He clung to his husband who was humming again. “What time is it?” He murmured.

“Awake time.”

“Are you sure? I thought it was cuddle time.”

Phil could practically hear Missa’s smile.

“You’re extra clingy when you wake up, huh, last night you even called me love.”

“I what?”

“You woke up briefly after I started brushing out your wings, you said love and fell back asleep.”

Phil reached up and kissed Missa. When Missa started laughing, Phil started trailing kisses down his neck.

Missa ran his hands through the feathers of Phil’s wings and he moved off of Missa’s chest.

“You’re warm, why’d you leave?” Missa asked as he tried to chase after Phil.

“I wanted to look at you pretty boy.”

They heard shuffling from the other side of the room. “Apa is Papa awake?” A bleary voice asked.

“I am.” Phil scooped Tallulah up from her bed and placed her next to Missa before he sat next to Missa on his other side.

“Hola mi niña, how did you sleep?”

“Bueno!”

“We’re going to a flower field today, are you excited?”

“Flowers? Really Apa?” Phil let the two of them talk about their plans as he took a little nap on his husband.

“Ok querido it’s time for you to wake up.”

“Papa! Papa!” Tallulah bounced out of Missa’s arms and started shaking Phil.

“Huh, what?” He muttered, only moving slightly, still resting his head on Missa’s shoulder.

“Apa Missa isn’t a pillow!”

“He’s my pillow Tallulah, so technically you’re wrong.”

“Papa! People can’t be pillows! Pillows need to be soft.” Missa laughed and ran his hand through Phil’s hair.

“Cmon querido.”

“Apa Missa will give you kisses if you wake up Papa.”

Philza shot upright. “I’m awake.”

“Good, you can do the fancy braid for me and then Apa will give you kisses.”

“That wasn’t the deal.” Phil pouted, trying to worm his way back to laying down on Missa’s shoulder.

“I want the fancy braid with the ribbons!”

“How about this,” Missa cut in. “I’ll give you one kiss before I go shower, and while I’m showering you braid Tallulah's hair. When I get back I’ll give you more kisses.”

“More.”

“One. You get one.”

“Papa, you are going to get more later!”

“But I want Missa to stay here with us.”

“I’m going to shower, I’ll give you a kiss now or you can wait until after you braid Tallulah’s hair.”

“Yes! You’re the best Apa! See Papa, Apa knows how to make you do things.”

“I’m just tired, why are you two being so mean?”

Missa laughed and leaned over to kiss Phil. “I’m not being mean, I’m just making sure our daughter gets her hair braided.” Phil stole another quick kiss.

“Apa go shower before Papa distracts you.”

“Yes Lullah.” Missa kissed her forehead and headed off to shower.

“See Papa, he loves you.”

“He what?”

“He loves you! Nobody would put up with you if they didn’t love you.” She teased.

“We like each other, I wouldn’t say—“

“You two love each other and you’re idiots if you think otherwise.”

He ignored the slight insult. “I love him but—“

“Then tell him Papa! Tell him you’re in love with him.”

“It’s too soon.”

“It’s been like ten moons, that’s forever in human terms.”

“Tallulah no, he thinks it’s been ten days.”

“What do you mean Papa? It’s been ten moons since you met him.”

“Well yes but he’s bonded to me, he’s started to perceive time differently.” Phil weaved in the ribbon and continued the braid.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s my beloved Tallulah, you remember what that means right?”

“He’s a human you chose to be my other dad.”

“Sort of, I chose him but for our clan we have to have a mutual claim on the other. He has to agree to be my beloved.”

“But he already is your beloved.”

“Not officially, the bond isn’t sealed yet.”

“Then he isn’t your beloved. He’s purely human.”

Phil sighed, the magic was weird even for him. “He’s started to become my beloved. Magic-wise. I’ve bonded with him but he hasn’t bonded with me.”

“I think kissing should be classified as bonding.”

“Humans can be tricked into accidental bonding if there isn’t more than one bonding ritual. When the bonding ritual was only the exchange of names humans often trapped themselves with a fae for life on accident. But because I started the bonding process he’s started to be affected by it.”

“How?”

“Well, the obvious part is that he’s perceiving time differently. He’s adjusting to the effects of immortality, at least from you know, natural causes. He’s still vulnerable to death but it’s a lot harder to kill a fae than it is to kill a fae’s beloved.”

“So Apa Missa will live forever like us.”

“Unless something bad happens but yes.”

“What else?”

“He’s going to need to eat more, the only food that will make him feel full for longer is fae food.”

“Oh because human food doesn't last as long because he’s thinking it’s a day when really it’s a moon.”

“Exactly, and sometimes other things can happen but they’re rarer.”

“Like what?” The water turned off, Missa would be out of the bathroom soon.

“I’ll explain later, your braid is done, I even braided in some purple ribbons.”

“Thank you Papa! Apa can give you more kisses after all.”

Missa changed into the spider silk clothes, just in case.

“I’m not going to ask Missa for kisses, Tallulah.” Missa heard. He smiled at the sweet scene and opened the door.

“Ok, Tallulah, is your braid good?”

“Papa did a good job!”

“Perfect.” He walked over and sat down next to Phil. He started braiding Phil’s hair. His hair was glowing but the small strands that kept blowing in his face were covering his emerald eyes.

“I thought I got kisses.” Phil complained.

“You will. I’m braiding your hair to keep it out of your face as well, besides I thought you told Tallulah that you weren't going to ask me for kisses.”

“I never did, she wanted me to knock on the door and ask for kisses. I waited. Because I can be patient for maybe… two minutes.”

“Wait a little longer and you’ll have a pretty braid and then I’ll give you kisses.”

Tallulah laughed and pulled sweet food out of her bag. “Papa, you can have food while you wait.” She handed over a sweet roll, it was slightly squished from being in a bag for three days but it still smelled delicious.

“Fine.” He took the roll and started eating it while Missa continued to braid his hair.

“All done amor!” Phil turned around and pulled Missa into a kiss.

“Stars above, that scared me, give me a little warning first cuervito.”

“Warning.” He said before pulling Missa back into a kiss. Phil melted into Missa’s arms.

“Ok, ok enough.” Missa finally said with a laugh. Phil smiled at the shining star in front of him.

“It’s flower field time! C'mon Apa!”

Missa got up and picked up their little girl. “It’s flower field time!” Philza grabbed the bags and left the money on the counter as they left the inn.

“I want to see all the flowers!”

“We’ll get there niña, it’s still a little bit away.”

“How long?”

“Maybe an hour.” Phil said.

“That’s so long Papa, why can’t it go faster?”

“Because we have to walk Tallulah.”

“Well walking is boring when you two are just holding hands and staring at the sky.”

“Hey we’re cloud-gazing you little shit.” Phil said, scooping her up and tickling her.

“Stop- papa— stop.” She said between laughs.

“We’ll be there soon Tallulah, you want to look at the clouds with us? You can sit on my shoulders.” Missa offered.

“Really? Yes!” She climbed over, swinging her legs over Missa’s shoulders and nearly kicking him in the face.

“That one looks like a crown!”

“Find one that looks like a flower niña.”

“Ooh! Up there, a sunflower!”

The three of them continued walking, looking at the sky until the flower field was visible on the horizon.

“Apa! Look, the flowers!” She started shaking around on Missa’s shoulders and he lost his balance.

“Tallulah calm down you nearly made your Apa fall.” Phil said after steading Missa.

“Apa let me down!” She said, nearly squealing at the sight of the rainbow of colors in front of her.

When she was set in the ground she pulled off her boots and ran towards the flowers. Poppies sprung from each step.

“She’s powerful.” Missa said, taking back Phil’s hand since he no longer had to make sure Tallulah was steady on top of his shoulders.

“One of the most powerful changelings I’ve seen, she needs to control her emotions though or else she could really hurt someone.”

“Well controlling her emotions isn’t the healthiest, she just needs to learn to manage them. If you control your emotions then you aren’t allowing yourself to feel things and you can’t bottle everything up.”

“I know but she could really hurt someone, she could grow flowers with sleeping pollen or vines with sharp thorns without even meaning to.”

“Well she’ll learn to control it. And we’re looking for pixie dust right?”

“Oh yeah, here.” Phil reached into his bag and pulled out a small hourglass attached to a string. “There's a little swinging latch that you can open and put the pixie dust inside and once you have enough you close the latch and tip it over. When the dust falls to the bottom of the hourglass a pixie should be trapped at the bottom.”

“We’re specifically looking for the black pixie dust right?”

“Yeah, it should be towards the forest areas, anywhere where there is shade, the underdark pixies can only come out in the shade.”

“And can you help me find the pixie dust?”

“No, the pixie dust needs to be gathered by a singular person. Besides I really don’t want Tallulah to run into a dark pixie. Their bite is venomous and it can kill fae.”

“So you’ll watch Tallulah and I’ll gather the pixie dust.”

Phil reached back into his bag. “Eat this if you get hungry, it should be enough to keep you safe.”

“Ok, where will you be? Where should I meet you when I’m done talking to the pixie?”

Phil looked at his feet. Silence. He fidgeted with the emerald necklace. “Try to meet us here, but we’ll find you if you aren’t here by sundown. I’ll come find you.”

“The woods are towards the east right? So you and Tallulah will stay here while I go East.”

“Yeah, and if anything goes wrong I will burn down the fucking earth to find you.” Phil whispered as he clutched Missa’s hand.

Missa laughed. “Thank you amor, I don’t think that will be necessary though.”

“I know but please be cautious Wisteria.” Phil was serious, the words were laced with care and concern.

“I will querido.” Missa was pulled into a hug, Phil’s wings wrapped around him. Phil pulled him into a soft kiss before he pulled away and with a small wave headed towards the edge of the flower field.

The forest! He had been walking for what felt like ages, Phil and Tallulah couldn’t even be seen on the horizon that’s how long he walked for.

The black pixie dust.

A few grains here, then there.

But there was a lot resting on a stone covered in black rose petals. Well that wasn’t ominous at all. But he needed the pixie dust, getting immortality from a pixie would be hard enough; and this was just laying right in front of him.

He dropped them into the hourglass which glowed a faint blue before the latch locked itself.

“What the hell?” Missa murmured. He flipped it over like Phil said to. Grains of dust rushed to fill the empty space and before long the last one fell.

A large crack echoed in Missa’s ears. A pixie was banging against the glass of the hourglass. “LET ME OUT YOU MOTHER FUCKER!”

“Who are you?”

“Like I’m giving—“ the small man made eye contact with Missa. “Holy shit you’re hot.”

“Thank you?”

“You want my name? I’d love to give it to you!”

“That was a quick change of heart.”

“Well I’d do anything for you baby.”

“I’m not your baby. Don’t call me that.” Missa said, pulling his bangs out of his face.

“Hmm, do you like magic? You summoned me for a reason right? I can show you some cool magic but you’re going to have to let me out of this glass cage.” The pixie grinned showing off sharp teeth.

“I summoned you to get immortality for my boss.”

“Oh. Well I can’t do that from inside my cage.” He kicked at the glass and yelped. “Ow! What did you spell this with? It’s got traces of fae magic—are you fae?”

“No? Why would I need immortality if I was fae?”

“I don’t know, you could be indebted to a human, you know, you’d need help from me.”

“Well I’m just human.”

“Can you let me out already? I’ll take you somewhere where I can get immortality for you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise that I will get immortality for you.”

“Deal.” Missa unlatched the hourglass opening and the pixie jumped out and landed on the ominous looking rock.

He shifted form until he was larger, although he was still much shorter than Missa, he was a pixie after all and they were known for being tiny. His eyes turned black then a harsh red then to a deep brown with dark slits for pupils.

He had yellow duck wings, making him look almost like a young changeling. You would never be able to tell him apart from one without the noticeable bags he had under his eyes. They highlighted the slight differences that made him look much older than a child changeling.

“Much better, now let’s go!” He snapped and Missa fell to the ground. His vision blackened as a pit opened up in front of him.

#qsmp #pissa nation #pissa #qsmp pissa #pissa au #TFUTWT AU #insanitybl00m

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ashalsdream · 8 months

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Ok… so this is gonna be random because tbh, I’m not thinking about anything at the minute except for this. And I’ll be honest, not the best at ship hc, so I hope this works?

1. Phil’s feathers would fall out every once in a while. When this happened the first time, Forever picked up one of his feathers off the ground and they started talking about Phil’s wings. Now Forever keeps the feather and just uses it as like a good luck charm

2. When Forever was passed out from the drug antidote and was carried out and put on the bench, Phil wrapped his wing around him, simply making sure that he didn’t get cold throughout the night. Phil refused to leave his side for the rest of the night. So they slept until the next day and they moved Forever to the hospital.

3. Phil has become protective over Forever, he always has been, but especially much more since the drug ark. So if he’s around and there’s even the slightest hint of noise, Phil will outstretch one of his wings behind Forever, even if he knows he can protect himself.

4. When Phil disappeared, and when Forever woke up, Forever instantly became worried as Phil didn’t come to see him, and he could remember his voice, what he said, while he slept. He laughed the entire time with Phil, it game him something to try and think about. It became all the more prominent as an entire murder of crows flocked the Favela and even at the presidential office. They were relatively silent, and if one did speak, they would instantly be shut up by the others. Back to my point, Forever searched everywhere for Phil, even trying to talk to the crows. They looked almost sick so he didn’t push it. When Forever noticed Phil was back, he knew something was off as he sounded exhausted, even if he had been sleeping the entire time. So Forever practically became as vigilant around Phil and he was around Forever.

Honestly, I don’t know what there is to say on my end. I’ve never really looked into hc for duos, specifically ships. And Philever isn’t my top ship so it makes it all the harder (Deathduo is my first). But I hope I did this right? Never done anything like this so I hope you get my point.

YYESSS I ADORE THESE!! also totally get the ship thing, i personally see phil and missa as queer platonic partners because they have the same vibes as me and my qpp when we play minecraft LMAO

as someone who owns a bird, feathers get EVERYWHERE bro they are all over the place. Forever keeps the longest one on a necklace but every so often when Phil loses another, he keeps them all in a small jar (something that I do with my bird, its very cute)

I can absolutely see them becoming more attached to each other after the drug/disappearance arc like Forever even goes to Etoiles to ask him about it and he doesn't speak to Etoiles often he just knows they're close. It becomes more worrying when they both realise neither have heard from Phil.

I love the idea that Forever has his own crow that follows him around, they keep an eye on him and make sure he's safe so that if he's not, Phil can get there quickly. Phil doesn't want to lose him again whether thats to the drugs or to kidnapping, he refuses to lose Forever.

I also love the idea that their relationship happened because Phil refused to admit he had feelings UNTIL Forever "gave up" and started flirting and spending time with other people and Phil was like "No wait- wait no,,, come back"

#qsmp #philever #sugarduo #mcyt #asks #glith0

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cosmic-d1ce · 7 months

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Okay I read as much tag as I could find and I'm just curious... BBH and fml au? I don't really specific questions, but like... there was a reference to him trying to help? or phil going to him specifically? I think? I read a lot of posts. IDK something. Invitation to ramble.

Bbh is overall one of the most sympathetic towards Phil, even when almost everyone else loses trust in him

Bbh is a very nice person so he doesn't want to just... leave Phil alone

But he loves the eggs. More than anything, in fact. So, when everyone is believing that Phil is the reason Tallulah lost her first life, he's a bit iffy

But he's still very nice and does go to help Phil if he thinks he needs it. Like when Wilbur came back and wanted to kill him for letting Quackity have Tallulah

Bbh does also have a crush on Forever which causes a few issues sometimes. It's incredibly one-sided and Forever doesn't even notice but it's a thing

Phil finds out about this at the Cellbit/Roier wedding, where Bbh confesses to Phil that he's jealous because Forever just proposed to Phil. Phil does not take too kindly to this and he isn't very fond of Bbh after this

obviously bbh doesn't know what is actually going on between Phil and Forever but that doesn't mean Phil is any happier about what he said. He has more than a few bitter moments where he wishes Bbh was in his place

Bbh is one of the few people Forever actually lets Phil hang out with tho so he cant be too mad at him or he'll lose one of his last threads of hope

Forever actually trusts Bbh a lot and Phil sees him very often. Forever and Bbh both want the eggs safe more than anything and most of their time together is spent talking about the eggs and ways to better protect them. They built NINHO together after Bobby's near-death experience (he doesnt die in FML) and both have stasis chambers for all the eggs in their houses in case NINHO somehow fails.

Bbh will tell Phil how Chayanne and Tallulah are doing as well. With Phil essentially out of the picture and Missa and Wil being so busy, Bbh ends up taking care of them a lot and Phil always likes to know how his kids are doing without him

I think my favourite thing that Bbh does in the AU is bear witness to Cellbit's mental breakdown when he realises that his best friend is a violent maniac and he can't stop it

Bbh just has to sit there and watch Cellbit yell and scream and cry about something he can't talk about. But

"If i told someone itd all be fixed!!"

"then tell me...?"

"NO."

Bbh is pretty much just a witness to the chaos that is unfolding. He's also very bitter and jealous that Forever is the president. More than he is in canon. Everyday he wakes up and thinks "god i wish forever didnt win the election i hate him and his stupid wife (phil)"

He's very chill tho he doesn't have anything against Phil like Fit or Wilbur do and when Phil does get helped, he is one of the most helpful and caring people.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh #forever my love au #philever #forphil #qsmp au

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thecoddaughter · 5 months

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QSMP Characters as The Fray's Discography (Part 3)

This is the last part, but this definitely got me back in the mood to do these cause they are "easy" fixation project that keeps the character analysis juices flowing. As always, album linked below <3

SCARS AND STORIES

Heartbeat - Bagi & Tina

“You gotta love somebody, love them all the same. I'm singing, oh, I feel your heartbeat. I know the memories rushing into mind. I want to kiss your scars tonight. I'm laying here, 'cause you've gotta try, you've gotta let me in.”

The Fighter - The Purg 2 Gang

“The fighter wrapped his gloves. The fighter said I know I know I know. Just this one last time. ‘I swear you'll still be mine’ but he can't promise much.”

“Maybe we were meant to be lonely, lonely. Maybe we were meant to be on our own.”

“But lovers don't always win. He never even saw the swing. She calls out his name, calls his name.”

Turn Me On - unsure

Run For Your Life - Richas & Bobby [I am broken again]

“We're sisters with nothing between. If one of us falls, the other will soon be following. Both of you fell the same day. You don't know why one of you never woke up?”

“Oh, you don't have to go it alone, go it alone. Run for your life my love, run and don't give up.”

The Wind - Foolish

“Oh my God, think I'm lost at sea. The silent waves are my company and I lost the land between the sky it seems.”

“And I see the empire, falling to her knees. And I lost the land between, her and me.”

“You, left me on the shoreline. You will stand and bare but you, I'll find you waiting”

1961 - Dapper, Ramón, & Leo

“Two brothers, 1961. On a road ninety miles too long. Someone don't want us together.”

“Third brother, 1989. Got through it, opened up the line. Stand tall, I'll follow you this time. We're all just waiting on a sign.”

“We're broken, we're battered. We're torn up and we're shattered. We turn back on each other, the moment that it mattered.”

I Can Barely Say - Vegetta, Missa, and Wil

“I wanna return but all you would do is turn to leave. If I can't find my way home, will you take hold of me?”

“Has it been too long since I went away. 'Cause I'm trying to find the words but I can barely say. I used to be the son waiting silently but they barely noticed me.”

Munich - unsure

Here We Are - Baghera

“Twenty years ago I found a window. Got away from here far as I could go. Good bye hello to all the madness.”

48 to Go - unsure

Rainy Zurich - Agent 18 (sings this song when daydreaming about Foolish)

“She’s in a town that holds a lonely road, And the night is falling. There’s a road that follows to a home, And the sky is heavy. In the home she’s in a lonely room, With music playing, Can she hear my heart coming through, On the door between.”

Be Still - Phil or Bad to the kids

“When darkness comes upon you and colors you with fear and shame, be still and know that I'm with you and I will say your name. If terror falls upon your bed and sleep no longer comes, remember all the words I said.”

#qsmp #qsmp as songs #qsmp character analysis

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crows-father · 11 months

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Phil makes his way outside, sitting himself down on the edge of the wall. His talons hang off freely, the overcloak he always wore thrown lamely off to the side and his wings outstretched but limply hanging around him. Feathers scraping the concrete as he plucks and threads his fingers through them. It doesn't hurt. Not really. But it does make his wings look ugly, unfortunately.

He breathes out, guilt clogging up. Over Chayanne. Of course, Chayanne's thought pattern branches Phil's mind out to Tallulah. Then, the guilt from leaving without talking to Missa.

But he can't. If he faced the other, he was almost positive the building tears might pour in geysers. Phil managed to push it down now, aside from the few tears he shed making his way out, pressing the emotion down until the tears dried into nothing but an intense, pounding pressure.

His wings twitch. More than anything, he wishes he could push off and fly around. Just for a little while. Just until everything hurt a little less.

But when his feet brace the wall and he shoves himself off, wind snapping at clothes and messy, knotted hair alike, he doesn't go up. No matter how hard his wings beat, he can't.

So he plummets, then he glides. It's all he can do, working his wings our of muscle memory to ensure the tears don't return. While he turns those words over in his mind.

God. He wishes he could say coming to this island was a mistake, but he can't stomach the idea of not ever meeting that kid. His son.

His.... son....

The days pass. Phil smiles when Missa asks where he went, and he pulls the coat tighter over himself. His sword is back into its spot, no longer covered in the thick monster blood, and the night as passed again without an hour of sleep.

All he can do is apologize softly, and all is well. They're both ignoring their own fight. Phil, for the sake of Chayanne, ignores theirs as well.

All is well.

Tallulah isn't talking much, lately, either. She avoids looking at Chayanne, only coming out of her newfound shell when it's only Phil in the room. She shows him her new music, her art, the (admittedly confusing) stories she's been writing. He just smiles and ruffles her hair, braiding it in the mornings and before bed. In return, she spends her time pretending she can't see the bags under his eyes.

All is well.

Missa doesn't seem to notice too much is wrong as Phil tentatively returning to hovering over Chayanne. He doesn't want the kid leaving or doing too much labor, especially as he develops the cough directly after. Phil feared it may be another illness, but so far it seemed alright.

Exhausted, it's one night when he remembers the event going on. With a heaved sigh, he mentions it blankly, startling when both kids jump on the chance to get him out of the house. Tallulah insists on helping with his hair, Chayanne confirming it was a good idea.

Phil decided to go, in the end. Just for the night. Exhaustion bogging every step, misery in his joints, he goes.

He might as well try to have fun, for a little while.

(Somehow, seeing the others with each other makes him want to claw his hair out. So he takes another drink. Asks for something harder, stronger, and only then does he start to feel a little better, leaning on Quackity on the way out.)

(What a hellhole of an island, honestly. No matter how much he loved the people on it.)

#yaoiverse #straightverse #community chat #my dearest beloved son (chayanne)#government assigned husband (missa)#musical delight (tallulah)#speed dating event #chayanne sick fic

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bewwy · 5 months

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I'll post a fic Wip here

Sumarry: Phil is haunted by a ghost long dead.

It was a warm sunny day, the kids were rough housenig in the flowers, Tallulah throwing a handfull of dirt at Chayanne, and he jumping on her as revenge.

It was a good day.

The wind ruffling the leaves, and mixing with the laughter of his kids, Phil closed his eyes to enjoy the sun.

But doing so, brought back the memories of the previous morning. It wouldn't leave his mind, the purple crystals shinning in the darkness of the main room, guiding him trough his home. In to the aquarium waters.

It sends a shiver trough his spine, and Philza shakes himself off, rising from the ground and walking to his children, black spots dancing across his vision and the chill holding steady against the sun.

The kids notice him aproach, and Phil tries to smile away the unconfortable feeling, their squeels of laughter and joy acting as a sword, cuting away the memories.

"You little shits enjoying yourselfs?" Both

covered head to toe with mud smile proudly. "I'll need to make you new clothes! Cuse those rags are gonna be sprouting weeds at this point."

"Stop with the drama papa" Tallulah rolls her eyes after the sign.

"We reuse resycle and Rihanna in this house" Signed Chayanne

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Phil weezes out a laugh. "Alright, bath time you too! Go home and get washed, I'll meet you there with some new clothes."

The kids pick themselves up, with Tallulah trowing herself in to his pants, leaving a stain shapped tallulah in it.

"Tallulah! Oh my god. Now I'll need a new pair as well! Uhg.." Philza complains lightly. "Come on both of you! Get going!"

And the kids do, Tallulah warps first, and Chayanne gives a wide grin as he teleports away trough the purple particles.

Fuck...

Fuck him.

It's actually pathetic, the simple color of the particles, brings back all the bad fellings with it. Really, it's quite impressive.

Philza closes his eyes again, trying to take a deep breth and center himself, he sees his kids, just a warp away, and hears laughter. It's not - it's not his kids laughter though.

It's mocking, amused even, as if finding the actions of a stranger perplexing, but comedic. It's so close too, it sounds like it's inside of his ears, and yet so far away, muffled by a indiscribable distance.

He opens his eyes. It's coming closer.

Phil looks across the field and sees nothing, only the overturned dirt and scattered flowers, some unfortuned crushed petals in the ground by his feet, it's pink, but the edges are burnt due to the direct sunlight.

As he looks at the crushed flowers, purple particles appears at the cornner of his eye.

How long has Phil been standing there? Is it Chayanne? Wondering why he hasn't come back yet? But he did say he was gonna do something first, didn't he?

He turns around.

There is no one there, but the laughter seems closer, less muffled.

He needs to go, Phil will let them borrow one of his shirts, but he needs his kids back. Now.

He grabs his warp stone, holds tightly in his hand, and thinks of home. Phil & Missa. Phil & Missa. Phil & Missa. Phil & Missa.

Why isn't he porting?

#bewwy wips

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skelltan · 1 year

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Indie Promotion Round Up - Edition 1 Part 3 - NWA USA

This is a continuation from my last post. Check it out here!

Well, that only leaves one more show for this week. Back to the NWA for NWA USA, season 5, episode 1. NWA takes a cue from MLW and gives us no time to process that Kyle Davis is again here, this time with the United States Tag Team champions. Yeah, as I mentioned before, the NWA has midcard tag belts.

Anyways, The Fixers are the champs. FTR were called The Fixers in NXT, but this isn’t them – I hope they’re a fraction as good as FTR. This team is made up of Jay Bradley, who’s had appearances in WWE, IMPACT and ROH in the past, but was just a jobber. Instead, he mostly spent his time in OVW (both the WWE and IMPACT owned incarnations) and IWA Mid South. His partner is Wrecking Ball Legursky, who’s mostly worked North East Wrestling.

They’re gonna face The Country Gentlemen. Wrecking Ball does a joke calling out country musicians, not The Country Gentlemen, but I didn’t know that’s what he was doing, so. Probably the worst promo I’ve seen in this set of shows so far, I have negative interest in these guys.

The intro to USA has a more solemn acoustic guitar song, for some reason. But then there’s another intro right after with more generic electric guitars? It’s a bit confounding. We have the same commentary team.

The Country Gentlemen come to the ring. They’re cowboys. They’ve done even less than their opponents in their careers in terms of working notable promotions. I won’t bother naming the Country Gentlemen, but Jay Bradley is in the ring first for The Fixers. He lands a cheap shot and tags out. The two attack Gentleman A. Legursky picks up Jay as if he’s going to slam him, but stops for some reason.

They keep the attack on Gentleman A. Jay tags back in. Apparently they’re working the neck of Gentleman A. Another tag, more attacks, another tag, more attacks. I will admit I’m not calling all the moves, but they really are just wailing on Gentleman A, basically. Nothing too notable has been omitted from my summary.

The Fixers do tag team based offence where Jay shoves Gentleman A’s face into Wrecking Ball’s ass. I’m not even being snide, that’s legitimately their tactic, on some Rikishi stuff. Anyways, hot tag to Gentleman B. He hits a power slam for the first cover, a two count. He then tags in Gentleman A. Gentleman A attacks Jay in the corner, but Gentleman B comes in to tell him that’s not cool.

Are you kidding me? No one knows who these two are. Why are we working a dissension storyline with a team we’ll probably never see again? Plus, he didn’t really do anything worse than The Fixers were doing to him earlier.

Anyways, The Fixers take advantage of their quarrel and hits Gentleman A for the win. That was a stupid match. It was boring, and then The Fixers only won because The Gentlemen argued, so that doesn’t really make them look all that strong. I don’t really want to see these guys again anytime soon.

After a merch ad like the one from Powerrr, we get a women’s match with no introductions. Missa Kate vs Madi. Madi was known as Madi Wrenkowski on AEW – no idea why she got rid of the last name – and was mostly on Dark, but has been on NWA more recently. Misa has also had a couple of Dark matches.

Apparently these two were a tag team, and at Hard Times lost a match for the Women’s tag titles. They both jockey for an early pin, but get back up to their feet to exchange holds. Misa gets a rollup for a two. Madi then gets her on a submission on the mat where they do more reversals. Madi gets a 1 count on two different occasions.

They get up and Madi hits Misa. Misa then takes her to the mat to clobber her some. Misa then takes control, sending Madi to the corner, but Madi gets the power, getting Misa into the corner. Madi attacks her some more for a two count.

Madi goes for a pin, but the ref notices she has her feet on the ropes. Madi guys for a big boot, the Reality Check, which I guess is her finisher, but Misa hits her finisher, the Kick Filet (a roundhouse) for the win. It was alright, better than the first match, but nothing amazing. I haven’t written off either of these women, but I’m not clamouring for more. They have a handshake and hug after the match, but Madi feigns an attack on Misa, but ultimately doesn’t.

May Valentine is backstage with the Thrillbilly, Silas Mason. He gets to face Cyon for the national title. He fits the NWA brand, since he looks like he comes from the territory days. He’s apparently managed by Pollo Del Mar, a manager who does drag who’s appearing for the likes of GCW and Hoodslam. This guy must be a heel, because he says he wouldn’t bring her to a stinkhole city like this. He also wants to know what nation Cyon is from. Is he racist? Maybe.

Another ad for Austin Idol’s school. After that, here comes Homicide. He’s a legend on the indies and was mostly in TNA and ROH for stints. I’ve seen a bit of him, but not a lot. He’s here facing Jace Valor. Jace is another Wildcat guy.

Homicide lost the Junior Heavyweight title at Hard Times. Homicide takes him to the corner, but is called off. He does it again, biting him this time. They go to the outside. Homicide wants to attack him with the ring bell, but the ref says no. He then slams Jace on the table, though and then tries throwing a chair at him.

Homicide does more biting. Jace runs the ropes a bit and hits a dropkick. He goes to the top rope and hits a sort of crossbody for a one count. Homicide is back in control and does some more biting. They go to the outside again, where Homicide hits a scoop and a slam. Homicide gets him back in the ring, smothering him in the ring apron and loses via DQ.

Homicide keeps raging and yelling. The audio keeps cutting out, so I guess MLW can swear, but NWA can’t. Probably due to the extra networks they’re on. They ARE both on youtube, but they also have deals with other streaming services.

The highlight of the episode comes when Homicide steals a fan’s jacket, so Joe tells us, “Well, it is cold here”. I didn’t mention it, but NWA has clickbaity titles – the episode of Powerrr I watched was called “We have a new world champ”. Alright, that’s true. This episode of USA was subtitled “He took us off the air”. When Homicide was causing a ruckus, the screen flashed as if he damaged the cameras, so I was expecting it to hard cut off, even if it was in kayfabe, but it didn’t, so that was a letdown.

Another main event, another angle set up. I don’t tally how often main events are used to set up angles, but I noticed that pattern here as I paid attention to writing down the events of these three shows. But if WWE or AEW or any other promotion I’ve seen do it, they sure don’t do it to this level.

For example, on the most recent episode of AEW Dynamite, Claudio came out to stop Jericho from attacking someone. But that was after Jericho had a decent sized, decent quality match with Tomohiro Ishii. All of these just use the main event for an angle.

I get it, they don’t have 2 hours like AEW Dynamite does, they don’t even have a total hour for any of these shows, and to be fair to MLW, that was one episode as opposed to the two here of NWA, but both these companies could learn to not just use their main event as an angle and give us a bit more action.

Though, as I mentioned, MLW’s was less egregious. I have nothing more to say about this episode of USA, so I guess it’s time for the final verdicts. The best overall show was MLW. As I said, the opening match was great and the segments were pretty good. It had its flaws, but I do want to see more. The worst was the episode of NWA USA. I didn’t really like anything and it felt like any random old indie show. The best performer would probably go to La Estrella, the worst going to The Fixers.

I’m not going to lie, MLW was better than I thought, and NWA was worse. I thought the NWA would be funny bad, but it was just average at best, and genuinely bad with no ironic enjoyment at worst. If I do make this a series, I’m not paying a lot of attention to the NWA. I wouldn’t mind either recapping their PPVs or their weekly shows with much less detail, but the thought of doing both doesn’t appeal to me at all – so if you have any suggestions, let me know.

I would try and find another promotion to replace my coverage of NWA, but I don’t really want to watch IMPACT as I’m not a fan, nor larger promotions because that’s a larger undertaking with people already working on it. On the other end, I don’t want to cover an indie promotion with a weekly show like OVW or Reality of Wrestling, as while I’m sure there are some talented wrestlers there, unless I’m sure it’ll be an entertaining watch, I don’t really want to sit through a bunch of wrestlers on a smaller stage still honing their craft – that’s why I don’t want to keep up with NWA!

I was considering covering notable indie promotions instead like Warrior Wrestling, House of Glory, GCW or Prestiege, but while they do have some storylines, I feel due to not having weekly TV, I wouldn’t be as interested in covering them.

If you have any suggestions for a replacement for NWA, let me know – hell, maybe I’ll cover an older defunct promotion, like Smokey Mountain Wrestling, or HUSTLE. Until then, I’ll try to be back in a week with MLW coverage if nothing else – I might just focus on getting up to date on the most recent episode while I work out what supplementary content to check out. See you next time!

#nwa #nwa usa #mlw #mlw fusion #aew #aew dynamite #wrestling #pro wrestling #indie wrestling #nwa powerrr #wwe #my reviews

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factorialsotherfandoms · 5 months

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TW: Unreality, major character injury, poor medical technique (and IC they know they're not getting it quite right too), panic attacks, brief vomitting

Maybe a bit long for tumblr, but eh, you'll live, and I'll upload it eventually.

Theoretically safe in his room, FitMC is awoken by the sound of his warpstone activating. He sits, and reaches for a knife, and feels Pac sleepily grasp for him as he disturbs the man's sleep.

"Pac," he keeps his voice as quiet as possible. "Let go. Someone's here."

Pac does not wake as cleanly as Fit, but still grips the knife passed to him, hiding it under the blanket and still pretending to be asleep.

Whomever came takes a while to find them, but eventually there is a knock on his bedroom door; Fit grips his sword, wishes he'd realised he had time to dress and put armour on, and calls "come in!"

Two small figures run into the room, and he tucks the sword away - keeps it close, just in case these are imposters again, but tucks it away.

"Tallulah?" Pac has noticed them too, sitting up as soon as he does and opening his arms. "Chayanne? What's wrong?"

Tallulah runs over and hides in Pac's arms before pulling out a sign; Chayanne gets straight onto writing his. Neither child has their hat or their backpack, and there's the slight glow of a potion over both of them.

'/Something's wrong with dad/' Chayanne writes, then pulls out another sign.

'/Papa says the house is on fire. It's not/' Tallulah writes.

Right. Fuck. Another message? After the last one... Fit's genuinely concerned. He believes well enough that the messages are real, but he worries about the doubt they cast into Philza's mind - and also what something like that contacting his friend could possibly mean.

'/He said find you/' Chayanne's second sign reads. '/Will you help him?/'

'/He was scared/' Tallulah adds. '/Tios, papa is so scared/'

Fit and Pac share a look. Pac nods, and Fit wishes he were telepathic and so could send his roommate an apology for the disturbed night.

"Why don't I go help him out?" Fit offers. "I'll go look after him and have a chat. Pac can look after you two."

"A sleepover!" Pac's grin at them both is strained, but Fit doubts the children notice. "Let's go to my home and eat all the chocolate, yes? Chayanne, do you want to make a cake for your papa?"

Fewer people know of Ilha Chume Labs than Fit's hole in the ground, and even if he means Chume Labs proper the warren of labs will keep them safe.

The kids are still hesitant to agree; Fit smiles at them too, and nods, "your little secret. I know Phil says no snacks after bedtime, but he left you in my care and I say you can."

It doesn't really win them over; Chayanne puts down another sign '/you promise to help dad?/'

Fit makes eye contact with the boy, deadly serious, "everything I can. I promise."

'/you leave first/'

Fit doesn't know if Philza trusts Pac with his children, but Fit trusts him, and honestly they're the least of his concerns. The old crow thinking himself trapped in a burning house - why the hell didn't he leave with the kids - is far more of his worry. Is it the Ender King again? Or some other fucked up entity contacting him in the most bullshit way possible?

"Alright," he says, and grabs his warpstone and a shirt. "Be good for Pac, okay?"

"They're sweet," Pac promises. "They'll be good."

Fit knows that’s a lie, but Pac wrangles Richas well enough, so surely he can manage Philza's kids.

He trusts his faith, and worries for a friend, and warps away.

---

Phil and Missa is quiet, and still, and just as calm as it always is. The moonlight reflects on the glass, and it looks nothing like a house that two children might have fled from. Nothing at all seems wrong, but nothing ever does seem wrong; Fit knows better than to take it at face value.

He’s already opened the hatch before he remembers just how jumpy his friend is, and calls out a loud “oi, Phil!”

He’s already in the main room by the time he hears a reply, glancing between the three options as he fails to choose one.

“Kitchen,” Philza’s voice is quiet, broken, strained as though speaking on an over-strained throat. “Be-” a cough “be careful!”

Careful of what? Tallulah said he thought the house was on fire, so… It’s a waste of resources, but Fit splashes himself with a fire resistance potion anyway. Just so he can tell Philza he’s safe, and not have to lie about any follow up questions.

Depends how bad the vision is, really.

Because Fit is pretty sure they are visions, not hallucinations. It’s just the after-effects on his old friend’s mental health are worse for it.

The kitchen is the door to the left. When Fit steps in, he makes a show of checking it. Everything is normal - down to and including the pot on the stove - except for Philza himself. Still in his pyjamas, stood with his back to the wall. He looked like he was reading something, but glances over his shoulder as soon as he hears Fit approach.

There’s nothing in his hands, not that Fit can see, but they still hover like they’re holding up a book.

His eyes are shot wide open, so wide it goes past terror to border on head injury. His breathing, too, is fucked - Fit can see him panting - but that’s a panic attack for you.

“You good?” Fit asks someone who very, very obviously isn’t. “I was worried, so I asked Pac to watch the kids. Chayanne and Tallulah said something was wrong…?”

It looks like Philza is about to reply, but then he starts coughing. Fit gives him a moment, but it keeps going. His body shudders, gasping for air between coughs as he slumps against the wall.

It’s fucking terrifying; Fit runs forwards before he knows what to say, only stopping himself once Philza manages to catch his breath, and Fit remembers what a fucking terrible idea it is to charge someone whose brain is trapped outside reality.

So he slows to a stop, and brings up his hands.

“Easy, easy,” Fit drops his voice lower, trying to project calm he absolutely does not feel. “What can you see, Phil? Because whoever’s talking to you, they’re not talking to me.”

“Not- ah- not talking?” Philza takes a deep, sharp breath - gasping again. His voice is shaking, distant, so quiet Fit has to strain to hear it even over the silence. “Fire. It’s- It’s fucking… hell in here. Lava. Netherrack. Soul- Soul sand. The whole- whole lot, Fit, the whole damned lot.”

The Nether? Shit. Nobody likes the Nether, so no wonder Phil is panicking so hard he’s choking himself. Fit eases himself forward a little more, trying not to scare his friend more than he’s already terrified.

“What else?” he asks.

It’s not exactly grounding when Philza is seeing another reality, but it’s the only thing Fit knows how to try.

“Book, blackstone, blaze rod, quartress.”

That train of words is said much more clearly, more certainly, but still sounding called from a much greater distance than is between them. Fit can hear the panicked tears threatening to spill over with every word, and his heart fucking breaks.

Gentle, gentle, do his best to help. Fit’s not a gentle person by nature, but if his friends need him he’s going to try.

“Hey, hey look at me,” he orders, trying to be kind but knowing he’s a bit sharper than usual. What can he do to break the tension? Flirt? Flirting always goes down a treat. “See this sexy bald head of mine? I’m not going to let any Ender King hurt you /or/ your kids.”

Fit isn’t exactly sure how he could stop anything with such a name, but he’d certainly try.

Then Philza says something. It’s so quiet and broken up he can barely hear it, his breathing growing faster and more desperate as he does.

It takes Fit a moment to parse the words - “not him. Blaze Em-press. His enemy.”

What?

“That’s why she set your house on fire? Pissed he got you first?”

It’s the only sense he can make of the enemy of someone Philza is so fucking terrified of making him think he and his house are burning.

“A friend,” Philza says, and begins coughing again. “She’s- a… friend. But’s she’s- … Also the Nether… You know? I-I think- Fuck, my head hurts.”

No bet.

Philza coughs again, spit hitting the floor. At first Fit thinks nothing of it, then he notices the discolouration - not black, not fully black, but slightly speckled with it.

Shit. The coughing isn’t because he panicked himself into not breathing right. The vision… The vision isn’t a hallucination, and it isn’t just a vision, because whatever Philza’s brain can do it can’t fucking fake smoke in his lungs.

Smoke that as far as Fit can tell /does not exist/.

“Not really,” he answers, shaky himself now but needing to reply to the ‘you know’. He has friends, yeah, but if they set his house on fire and tried to kill him by smoke inhalation they wouldn’t be soon. “Let’s get you out of here, and grab some water.”

And once Philza is away from the smoke, get him to Pac and hope the engineer has fucked around in the lab enough to know what to do, because this is far beyond Fit’s abilities to treat.

Philza doens’t reply; Fit closes the rest of the distance. He kneels down infront of his friend, touching his shoulder and trying to assess his condition - no burns on his face, at least. From what Fit remembers, burns on your face mean you’re extremely fucked.

The touch at least seems to break Philza’s trance a little; he reaches out and touches Fit’s shoulders too, using them to lever himself up. Having realised his friend is legitimately and physically hurt, Fit keeps his hands near.

Just in case.

“I’m sorry,” it seems hard for Philza to breathe, and harder still for him to talk. “I must look… I’m sorry.”

He’s back to himself a little, then, but it’s still awful words he says.

“You’re scared,” Fit says, and he’s terrified too - he’s just forcing his breaths steady, his heart calm, and accepting the fact he’ll have nightmares about this day for months. “It’s fucking scary, just thinking about the idea. Entities from elsewhere lasering shit into your brain? Making you think your house is on fire? No thanks.”

Philza laughs, and it’s blissfully familiar for a second.

Then the coughing starts again.

Philza borderline collapses, his body unable to take the force of the coughs. Fit grabs him, keeping him from the floor. He helps him bend a bit better and rubs at his back. That’s what you do to help someone stop coughing, right? Rub their back?

Fuck, he’s so out of his depth right now.

“Easy, easy,” he tries. “Let’s just get out of here. We can talk outside.”

Under Fit’s guidance, Philza manages to walk. It’s slow going, and Fit has at least half of his weight, but he manages. It’s not far to outside, at least; the bunker is big for a bunker, but it’s still no labyrinth.

And then Philze drops from his hold.

“Fuck!”

Fit doesn’t even know what happens. One moment they’re walking, the next Philza is on - in - the floor. He has no way to comprehend it, his entire mind fucking straining to compute seeing both the wooden floor and Philza /inside/ it at once.

And Philza is screaming in agony. Agony, agony, fuck Fit doesn’t think he’s ever heard him scream like that before.

He doesn’t - he doesn’t know what to do.

So he grabs Philza and yanks him up. The floor gives him up easily, and Fit scroops him into his arms.

There’s burns, there’s so many burns - every bit of Philza that was below the floorline - thank fuck not his chest or his head, the survalist managing to catch himself like so many times before - is burnt. His hands, his feet, lower arms, most of his legs…

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Fit tries to reassure.

He doesn’t worry about taking it slowly or about stopping the injuries getting knocked - what Philza needs is out, and away, and he knows Pac has shit for burns they’ve just got to get there.

But first, cold water. Chume Labs is huge, and Chayanne’s paddling pool is a quicker walk.

And every step of the way, Philza screams and sobs and chokes on his throat.

He keeps up the promises of it’ll be okay, trying desperately to soothe at least one of the three. He carries Philza outside. It’s not glamorous or comfortable, but they get there. They get there, they fucking get there.

Fit as good as dumps Philza in the paddling pool, making sure the burns are covered by water. There’s a shudder in the screams, and the sobs start winning; with one hand he rubs Philza’s back, still awkwardly promising his presence, while with the other he grabs his communicator.

/You whisper to pactw: Where are you?/

The reply isn’t immediate. He considers texting the injuries, but… maybe best to assess them first. Let Pac know exactly what they’re dealing with, and also make sure Philza is okay with the Brazilian’s help.

Speaking of… Philza has mostly stopped choking.

But he isn’t doing much of anything else.

“Phil?” he asks, keeping his voice low and simple. “Can you hear me, Phil?”

Philza moves up a little, like he’s straightening to answer. He opens his mouth and- and then leans sideways, over some of the nearby flowers.

Fit can only support his back and watch in terror as Philza vomits into the bushes, flecks of sticky black smoke clinging to that too.

He can feel his own hands shaking as he supports his friend, keeping him from getting vomit on his injuries or in the water, and trying to comfort him all the same. It’s horrible, it’s terrifying, but there’s not exactly much he can do.

Hopefully it’s just panic nausea. He hopes to Hausmaster it’s just panic nausea.

After only a little bit the vomit ends, Philza leaning back and being caught against Philza’s chest.

“... Fit?” his voice is even weaker than before.

“Right here, big boy,” Fit tries to keep his reply lighter than his horror. “You with me?”

There’s a shuddering breath, followed by a nod.

Philza could probably do with a potion, but the only one he has is in Fit’s pocket. He didn’t grab his bag or anything before heading over, and he’s regretting it now. But to access it…

“Okay, fuck,” he breathes, clearing his mind with the swearing. “If I let go for a second, can you keep yourself above water?”

There’s a hesitant nod - Fit slowly lets go as Philza adjusts, making sure he is steady before digging through his pockets. The potion is… Somewhere. It won’t fix everything, not for shit this bad, but it’ll help with the shock and any infection risk and take the edge off the pain. Maybe heal some of his throat on the way down, too.

He finds it, and puts it to Philza’s lips. It doesn’t take much effort to convince him to drink, pink liquid going easily down.

When he opens his eyes, Philza looks a little more present, and Fit sighs in relief.

“What happened?” his voice is still quiet and scratched, but more solid than when they first got to the pool.

“Fuck if I know,” and honestly, it’s true. Fit can guess and such, but half of the reason he believes in magic crap so easily is because it constantly happens and he has no idea how to parse it, so may as well just take it at face value. “The lava burns are real, though. There was nothing there, it was like watching… I don’t fucking know, you glitch into the floor? Then you screamed, and there’s lava burns.”

He watches Philza examine his burns. With a worried hand he stops him from taking them from the water, massaging his shoulder with a thumb he can only hope is comforting.

It’s comforting for Fit, at least.

“Can I message Pac about this?” he asks, because fuck he’s out of his depth, and Pac and Mike have dealt with enough lab accidents to know some weird medical areas.

Philza quirks something like an attempted smile, “assumed you’d already told him, mate.”

“Not about this,” Fit hasn’t, either; only asking where Pac is since he left. “But… Look, I can stop the burns killing you, but I can’t treat them properly, and I’m pretty sure your lungs are fucked.”

Confusion crawls across Philza’s face. Fit watches in concern as he raises a hand to his lips, it coming away with some of the discoloured, sticky mucus.

He sees the terror in Philza’s eyes as he glances up to meet them.

“Can we not scare the kids?”

Fit takes that as permission. He opens his comms, to find Pac has already replied.

/pactw whispers to you: at Chume Labs

pactw whispers to you: got Chayanne and Tallulah asleep in Mike’s room

pactw whispers to you: how’s Philza?

you whisper to pactw: not good. You got anything for lava burns and smoke inhalation?/

“Pac says they’re already asleep,” Fit promises, and keeps any wondering about how that happened to himself. “They’re going to notice, but we can just tell them in the morning.”

But at least by then the burns will be covered up and their dad might have his head back.

Philza nods, and Fit returns to his comms.

/pactw whispers to you: the fire was real?

you whisper to pactw: real enough to hurt him, not real enough for me to see

you whisper to pactw: it’s freaking me out, but i know what burns look like

you whisper to pactw: and vomiting up smoke ash/

He looks up from the comms to find Philza’s eyes closed. For a moment his heart stops; “don’t sleep just yet.”

Philza gestures at him in reply, and he isn’t sure what it is, but it’s a sign of life at least.

Something approximating fuck off, he’s sure. Fit turns back to his comms, but keeps a closer eye on his friend.

/pactw whispers to you: bring him here

pactw whispers to you: i’m not a doctor but we have some supplies

pactw whispers to you: will get it set up

pactw whispers to you: or would the order be better?

you whisper to pactw: will ask/

“Okay,” he looks at Philza more critically, assessing the damage for himself. “Pac’s got stuff at Chume Labs, and luckily for us that’s also where he took Chayanne and Tallulah. He can either meet us there, or at the Order.”

“Kids,” Philza immediately replies, and Fit is not the slightest bit surprised.

/you whisper to pactw: we’ll come to you/

“Right,” he glances over Pac’s confirmation, and shuts his communicator away. “Do you think you can manage your warpstone?”

Fit really, really hopes that Philza pulling it out means yes, because he’s not sure how to get him anywhere otherwise.

So he pulls out his own, and warps over there.

---

When he arrives Chume Labs, Philza is half-collapsed against the waystone, and dripping wet. Neither is unexpected; Fit scoops him back up, and carries him to the turtle. There’s worryingly little reaction, but his eyes are open and blinking normally, and he winces properly when he coughs.

Managing the turtle while carrying someone is a bit awkward, but Fit manages. Just like he usually does. As it makes its way across, Fit texts Pac to let them know they’re there. He expects a message back saying which floor to go to, but instead Pac meets them at the elevator.

“Fit?” he asks first, then. “Phil? Are you okay?”

Philza manages to mumble something which sounds mostly like a hello; the look Fit and Pac share is worried. Fit sits them both down while Pac sets the floor, and the mechanism crawls to life.

“Here, I bought splash potions,” Pac shows them first to Fit, before throwing them on Philza.

Fit gets splashed as well, the tingle running along his skin. Philza’s body relaxes somewhat, his breathing steadying a little.

“Thank you, Pac,” Fit says. “I didn’t have my bag.”

“Did you have anything?” Pac asks, hands trembling as he visually checks them both over.

“Gave him a basic potion just before I messaged you,” Fit replies. “Otherwise… Got him in cold water, but I didn’t know what else.”

Pac nods, shifting between his feet, “we need a real hospital.”

“We need a real doctor,” Fit points out.

Pac can do nothing but agree to that. He’s about to say something else, when the lift arrives.

There’s a bed with some equipment set up on one side, but Pac leads Fit and Philza over to a chair instead. It’s just like the ones Pac constantly leaves around, except red this time. A whole pile of equipment is beside it, and it faces an open door.

One which shows Chayanne, Tallulah, and Richas safely asleep in a little pile.

Fit places Philza on the chair, only able to stand and watch as Pac fits an oxygen mask to his face.

“He should really have,” Pac gestures a bit, frowning as he pulls the elastics properly. “I forget the word. But nobody knows how to do it, so…”

“That bad?” Fit asks.

“There’s not much to do. Makes it really scary,” Pac frowns, hands twitching a little as he pulls them away. “Can you help me? With the burns.”

“Of course. What do you need, Pac?”

Something useful to do is better than any other option. Fit is handed potions and ointments and dressings, and told the order to apply them in. While Pac works on Philza’s legs - the more extensive of the burns, with more of them deeper in what can only have been lava - Fit takes one of his arms.

He’s treated burns before, even extensive ones. Not usually with this many things, but he knows what he’s doing.

When the first of the potions is applied, Philza visibly flinches. His eyes, still wide, flicker between both of them, and then to the door - relaxing noticeably when he spies his sleeping children.

“Sorry it stings,” Pac smiles at Philza, and Fit can see how shaky it is.

“It’s fine, mate,” Philza’s voice is a bit drifty, but the surprise of the treatment seems to have drawn him back. All the way to full sentences, too. “Just means I still have feeling.”

… Fit might understand that sentiment, but he’s not exactly thrilled about it.

“Only you, Phil,” and his voice is more affectionate than he means it to be.

Philza turns and glares at him, and Fit swallows a laugh at how ridiculous he looks.

“You have said that before,” Pac points out, though it takes Fit a moment to realise it’s directed at him. “It /is/ true. Still hurts, though.”

Philza adjusts his position slightly, and Fit concludes that it must be the potions actually working that keeps him so present when he was spaced out so badly before. “Don’t worry, I’ve survived worse.”

Fit thinks of his friend knee-deep in lava, without the right protections, miles from home and alone in the Nether, living in a world where a single death means you’re gone forever.

He shudders, and hates it, and it really is not helping his fear.

“You know that’s not actually reassuring, right?” he tries to joke.

He needs to leave this ointment for a little bit. Fit shifts from working on the right arm to the left.

Philza shrugs in reply, but his throat catches. Pac is already bolting up to help and Fit reaching to support his back by the end of the stuttered breath. Philza manages to avoid the coughing fit, though, taking a few deep breaths of the oxygen and settling his lungs.

Once he has, he says whatever he meant to say. He keeps his voice quiet, and the hoarseness is still apparent, but at least Philza manages to avoid the breaking this time. “I do appreciate the help, guys, but I have fallen in lava and been fine before. Didn’t even have bandages then.”

That statement only serves to make the imagined scenarios worse. Fit tries to glare at his friend, only to soften when he sees just how exhausted the man looks.

He can’t win against his friends. He never has been able to.

“I get it,” Pac replies for him, deft fingers now bandaging Philza’s legs. “We didn’t either. But… It will heal better. Faster, cleaner, less infection risk.”

Fit nods along to Pac’s words, and uses the time to gather himself. Philza’s at least chatting, now; it’s easier to suppress the terror.

“Don’t you want us to care about you, Phil?” Fit reaches over with one hand, squeezing his shoulder like he always does when trying to give comfort. The idea of it actually hurts, now he’s vocalising it. “Are you saying you won’t let us worry? Don’t want us to care?”

They see Philza try to reply. This time, the stuttered breaths do turn into a coughing fit. He pulls the mask up to spit out the mucus, but holds it close, still trying to use that air. It doesn’t stop with one cough, or with two; Pac reaches up from his feet, resting Philza’s head against one shoulder as he loops arms around his back. Fit leans down, rubbing circles and hoping they help.

It keeps going and going, and Fit sees his own terror reflected in Pac’s eyes. He’s about to resort to screaming for Cucurucho when the coughs finally cease, Philza’s body weak and trembling from the exertion.

Gently they ease him back into the chair. Fit fixes the mask back into place, while Pac clearly frets about something in his mind.

Even Philza seems to notice that, his eyes shifting to watch Pac.

It breaks the seal.

“How, ah, bird are you?” Pac clearly doesn’t know if that’s a polite thing to ask, and, honestly, Fit has no idea either. He can only shrug in reply to the unspoken question. “I don’t know crows, but…”

Philza takes another moment or two, chest heaving but at a much slower pace than before, “not sure, sorry, I just live like this.”

The reason why Pac asks suddenly clicks - canaries in a coal mine, but all birds are more vulnerable to smoke than humans. Their respiratory systems just being weaker to it.

At least Fit can reassure that one.

“We’ve run through a fire together before,” he says, skimming over the terror of that event too in his mind. “If he took the smoke worse than me, it wasn’t enough to notice.”

Pac may as well collapse in a heap on the floor for all the relief in his eyes - he doesn’t, but it seems a close-born thing. “Still… you really need a hospital.”

It’s muttered, it’s quiet, it’s been said before, but it’s unfortunately very true.

Fit can see the laugh growing on Philza’s face, and also how he struggles to hold it in.

“Welcome to the island, Pac,” Philza manages to say instead. “You read an out of date medical textbook ten years ago, and it makes you about the best we’ve got.”

“It was a biochemistry book,” Pac corrects, and it either explains a lot or nothing at all. “And some websites. I’ve practiced on Mike, though. We both set many things on fire.”

Philza cannot escape an amused snort this time, but it clearly messes with him enough to fuck his breathing once again. Fit keeps an eye on it as he finishes treating his arms, and sees Pac doing the same with his legs.

They drop the topic to work, using each other as a support they might not even really have.

Once the bandages are all in place and Philza seems to be doing better… Well there’s a goat in the room, isn’t there? Because someone set Philza on fire, using lava Fit couldn’t even see.

“Phil…” he isn’t sure how to phrase it but it needs to be said. “I have some idea, but… what did you see?”

“Not a lot,” Philza answers willingly enough, though he twitches as he does. Fit places a hand over the back of his neck, and hopes it’s reassuring. “Kinda like the other two. The bunker was on fire, there was a trail to a book and some items and pictures. Used fire res, but I only had the one… Ran out about when you arrived.”

That gives them a timescale for just how long, at least - fire res offers some smoke protection, so… But then, perhaps he was breathing it in before he awoke or used the potion, too.

“And the book?” he asks, because it’s always the books that seem to scare his friend the most - it was the book Fit couldn’t see he was reading and rereading when he arrived, that probably stopped him leaving before the fire res ran out.

“What do you want me to say?” despite his weak voice, it’s clear Philza is frustrated by the whole thing. “It’s the Blaze Empress, but what does it matter?”

“Is she liable to kidnap you?” Fit asks first, because after the Ender King talk he /needs/ to know if this is another threat or not. “I know you were worried about…”

He glances at Pac, and realises he will actually have to explain that later. Now Pac’s been here and seen this and is kinda involved all over again.

“I don’t know, Fit,” Philza doesn’t seem as scared this time - still terrified, but more burnt out, more exhausted, more likely to give in than run. “In my dreams of her realm… lava is… people. And the quartress has a bee farm. In the /Nether/. It’s not… It can’t be… There’s no sense here.”

Fit and Pac share a look, and Pac agrees to take on the burden of speaking.

“You burnt from the lava,” he hesitantly offers. “I don’t think… you can hallucinate that?”

Yeah, no, Fit’s seen a lot of cases of mind over matter, and none of them result in that sort of happening.

They watch Philza struggle for a time. Pac starts putting the leftover bandages away, constantly glancing back to check on their shared friend. Philza’s lips move, and reassass, grimace and frown and just… don’t seem to know what to do.

The building distress is obvious, though.

Fit’s about to try soothe him again when Philza opens his mouth again. This time, it’s not just weak - they can hear genuine vulnerability, and the first hints of terrified sobs.

“If she’s real, the war is real. She… She can reshape reality, but the Ender King can steal it. /Has/ stolen it,” Philza stops for air, tears trying to streak down his face. “Entire swathes just… gone. In the blink of an eye. He did it to her… the quartress… hangs in a void… I- I can’t- They’re fighting over me now, Fit, they fought over the world and now they’re fighting over me and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s… There’s not going to be a world /left/, Fit, not if they fight again! If… If they come, if they take me… Don’t try to stop them, don’t come after me - /please/, Just…”

Philza glances at his children. The sobs break his speech, but it’s so obvious what he means.

“Oh Phil…” Pac whispers, barely audible.

“Of course,” Fit promises - at least to looking after Chayanne and Tallulah. He’ll never promise to never try rescue a friend, not if he sees the option.

The sobs continue, and there’s nothing either of them can really do.

“I-” Philza breaks through them to try to talk, turning desperate eyes on Fit. “I’m scared- I- don’t… I-”

Fit lets the air entirely out of his lungs, and leans over to hug his friend. It’s awkward and it’s difficult, but they manage all the same. He hopes its comforting - Philza presses hard against his chest - because it’s all he can do.

Pac scrambles up onto the arm of the chair, then hesitantly leans over. He presses his weight to Philza’s back, and wraps his arms around his front.

Together they hold him as he sobs, hoping it’ll be soothing enough to avoid another coughing fit.

It isn’t.

This one isn’t as bad as the last, but it’s still terrifying. Fit does his best to soothe in tongue clicks, while Pac rubs his back and begs him to breathe.

Sobs bubble harder into the coughs, eventually winning back over.

“You need to calm down,” Fit says - not because crying is terrible, but because it’s causing his friend to choke. “Please, Phil, you need to calm down.”

Philza doesn’t. He keeps crying and crying and crying, shaking and terrified and seeming so small where he’s trying to curl in the chair.

There’s no chance to ask him about it, either; the tears have to end eventually, but they only cease as he drifts off to sleep.

Fit gives him a moment, checking that, and turns to Pac.

“He cried himself out,” he whispers. “Do we need to wake him up?”

Pac hesitates, clearly trying to remember. Eventually he shakes his head, “put him on the bed. We just…keep an eye on him.”

“Alright. Can you get the oxygen?”

It’s easy enough to move him to the bed, far easier than carrying Philza to the pool in the first instance. Pac moves various bits of equipment around them, clearing the path and making sure the tube on the mask doesn’t tug, the last one being to pull down the sheets.

Philza is very definitely asleep by the time he’s laying on them. Pac sets up a little more stuff, pushing fluids into his veins and tracing his heartbeat just in case, but there’s only so much he knows how to do. Roier knows more - did more for Forever - but Roier is missing, and Pac’s knowledge is from scientific testing, not medical.

Once Pac is done fiddling, Fit tucks the blankets around his friend. He’s led to a pair of chairs positioned to watch both Philza and the children, and collapse into them.

“Well, fuck,” Fit says, because he really has no other words for the situation.

“Will he be okay?” Pac replies, glance flittering between Fit, Philza, and the sleeping children.

“You’re the closer to an expert than me.” Fit drapes an arm over his eyes, trying to hide from the very bright lighting.

“The burns were a lot, but didn’t have time to get very bad. His breathing is worrying but it’s, ah, improving. I want to do more, Fit, but I don’t know what to do,” Pac shuffles in his chair. “I am not trained for this. But… I meant… in his brain. Will he be okay in his brain?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it,” Fit frowns. “The shit he sees is definitely real, but it’s not the same real so he’s still going to be left doubting it all. And Philza does /not/ handle doubt.”

“The same real?” Fit peaks out under his arm, and sees confusion writ on Pac’s face.

“Yeah,” he frowns himself. “The lava? I couldn’t see it, even as it was burning him. Hell I was standing on the same floor he tried to walk on. It was a brainfuck - he fell through the floor into the lava, but it was still there.”

“Like BadBoy’s ghost blocks?”

“Not really,” Fit, still not sure what he saw, struggles to explain. “Or, kinda? But like the ghost block could also have lava inside it. The lava and the floorboards were in the same place, just you sink in lava.”

Pac pulls a long series of faces, clearly struggling with the concept. After a bit, he clicks, “more like… hiding cables for storage?”

“Maybe?” Fit doesn’t really know a lot about that. “Whatever it was, it was terrifying. And the beings contacting him? Being powerful enough to do /that/? He asked me not to intervene if he gets kidnapped, but I don’t even know if I could!”

Pac scoots a little closer, leaning over the arm of the chair to rest on Fit’s shoulder. Fit reaches up, entangling a hand into his hair. “You’d try.”

“Damn right I would,” because of course Fit would. They might all be as good as powerless here, their actions having even less meaning than in the Wasteland, but he’s still going to /try. Good friends are hard to come by, and he’s not going to let some extra-dimensional fuckery steal one of his away.

Not if he has a choice, anyway.

“It’s just…” Fuck, Fit has to tell Pac, doesn’t he? “Does the name the Ender King mean anything to you?”

Fit watches Pac think very hard about the question, focus and concentration mixing into one. After a few minutes he looks back at Fit, “like… Enderman? But a king?”

“I guess?” Fit shrugs a bit. “Phil did say he’d have no idea if he were here - there’s no marks of him, but he mostly exists in another realm.”

“No, then,” Pac shakes his head a little. “Just… that. Phil said something?”

“Yeah, few weeks back,” Fit pulls a face. “With the egg shoes? It was when he called me off that day.”

Pac nods, “the shoes were cute.”

“They were,” Fit smiles a bit at the happier memory. “But Phil… Chayanne and Tallulah were with him, and I swear its only that that stopped him having a panic attack. He’d had that other message - the one you were there for? That scared him, but the second one /terrified/ him. Was promising Chayanne and Tallulah he’d always get back to him, to behave if he was kidnapped, laugh-sobbing when Chayanne promised to kill whatever scared him, the works.”

“And it was the Ender King? He mentioned it today, too.”

“Yeah…” Fit trails off, unsure what else to say.

There’s quiet for a moment, before Pac speaks up again, “how did Phil, er, how does Phil know them?”

Fit takes a deep breath, trying both to remember and work it out. “He /says/ it’s from his dreams. He dreams of living in another world, really consistently, really vividly, and these… entities are its rulers. He doesn’t remember all of them, though, it’s still just a dream.“

“Memories, maybe?” Pac asks. “Does he have amnesia too?”

“Maybe?” Fit frowns. “He remembers shit with me well enough, but I don’t remember enough about the rest to compare. Could be the Feds just stole part of them.”

“Which means we all might have all-powerful supervillians after us,” Pac’s eyes are a bit wide.

“And who would even be after you?” Fit laughs, already knowing who is after him.

“I am an international criminal wanted in five countries,” Pac mocks some offence. “Entire governments want me dead!”

They can both only hold it for a moment before descending into giggles. It takes a few moments to recover, their foreheads pressed together.

“The Blaze Empress sounds… fiery,” Pac muses, once he has recovered. “And Endermen hate water. Maybe he should make an underwater safe zone? Just in case.”

“We can suggest it once he’s feeling better,” Fit promises. “Knowing Phil, he’s already got one hidden away somewhere, he just hasn’t thought of it.”

Pac might be the least paranoid of the three of them, but that really is not saying much. Fit can already see the calculations running, and so gently pokes his nose. There’s a jolt of surprise, and a soft smile. “Fit?”

“Thanks for your help,” Fit says, trying his best to be genuine. “Sorry about the night… We can talk more in the morning, and rearrange to another time?”

“Philza is important,” Pac shrugs. “We can adjust.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’ve done the same for Mike,” Pac’s voice is a bit soft.

There’s not much Fit can say to that. Instead he just moves on.

“Do you want to sleep first, or shall I?”

Pac glances at Philza, then the time, “you sleep first? There’s more likely to be problems earlier.”

“Alright,” Fit doesn’t want to leave either of them, but they all need sleep. “Wake me in a few hours, okay?”

Pac nods, and shoos him off.

There’s too much to talk about in the morning - Fit already knows they never will finish the conversation, not even if Philza is stolen from their watch and tormented by gods from another realm.

It’s fine, though, it’ll be fine.

He lays awake, failing to think of a solution, listening to Pac watch low-volume Brazilian romance films until his own dreams steal him away.

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp fit #qsmp pac #qsmp philza #hurt/comfort #nobody is having a good time here #I hate the ending but it'll serve #it was the only way I could make them stop talking #and I really needed them to it was getting ungodly long #fun fact - this is my current longest qsmp piece #and it was supposed to just be an alt PoV on the much shorter Philza PoV of the same stuff #prompt: hallucinations

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arhvste · 4 years

Text

next stop iwa-chan!

“i traded a thousands nights, for just one with you, i been catching feelings over you and i hope you catch them too, i been going crazy over you and i hope you’re crazy too”

CHAPTER CONTINUES UNDER THE CUT

the boy was good in the kitchen to y/n’s surprise as he helped expertly cut vegetables and help cook them off while y/n boiled the noodles and fried the meat.

even though it was something that should've been a normal thing to do, both y/n and iwaizumi couldn't help but feel butterflies inside at the thought of doing something domestic together in the comfort of one of their own homes. the idea of what it would be like to be married even entered iwaizumi’s head for a brief 5 minutes before he shook it off and reminded himself that they were taking things slow.

y/n on the other hand knew that iwaizumi had wanted to take things slow because of a previous bad relationship. she didn't know the ins and outs of what had happened and she didn't want to pressure him to tell her, but she too was beginning to struggle with suppressing her feelings. she would tell herself it was nothing more than a crush but she knew she’d be lying. she genuinely liked the boy and she was in deep, not that she’d ever admit it out loud though.

40 minutes later and the cooking was done as the two admired their work.

y/n laughed as she brought the crockery over to the dining table.

“this was a team effort, if it tastes bad that's all on you.”

they sat down and said their thanks before beginning to eat.

iwaizumi was warm on the inside. eating something they had made together only made his heart pick up the pace a little.

he stopped to glance at the girl in front of him who looked as if she was enjoying her meal.

he’d called her pretty before just as a general compliment as form of teasing but she really was beautiful. the fact that he began to like her even before he had a clue of what she looked like fuelled his fondness of her.

it wasn't even just her appearance that had him hooked, y/n wasn't like any other girl he’d met before. he was an attractive guy, he knew this, he had girls approach him in the past but none of them really took his interest and iwaizumi found himself having to consciously speak politely to them. it wasn't like that with y/n though. she could take his banter and give it back just as quick, she wasn't judgemental and didn't push him to talk to her about things he didn't want to.

“i know you said you wanted something pretty to look at but now you’re just straight up staring.”

iwaizumi snapped out of his gaze and locked eyes with a smirking y/n.

“can’t help it when you look the way you do.”

y/n let out an airy laugh as she began to clear up the table and leave everything in the kitchen as they finished, iwaizumi following behind carrying other pieces to bring back to the kitchen.

“we can just chat on the couch or something, i don't know what’s on tv right now, netflix won't work cause the wi fi’s down.”

“so no netflix and chill then?”

y/n turned to the boy and gave him a serious look.

“best behaviour remember?”

“yes ma’am.”

the two sat on the spacious couch and relaxed into the soft furniture.

a casual conversation picked up between the two and they found themselves laughing and chatting carelessly as the hours drained away. time would fly past whenever the pair were together, both of them secretly wishing the hours were longer.

it was now 11:48pm and the atmosphere was nowhere near empty between the two. without even realising, they’d inched closer and closer as they spoke until y/n found her knees touching iwaizumi’s. she smiled as she noticed. she naturally gravitated towards his personality and now it seemed she naturally gravitated towards him physically too.

“what are you smiling about?”

“you.”

“me?”

“yeah you. you make me smile.”

iwaizumi blushed slightly at the girl’s blunt words.

even though they hadn't even known each other for even a month, iwaizumi felt like he knew the girl, like he’d been with her for years, she was so easy to be around and let his guard drop a little.

“hey thanks.”

y/n raised an eyebrow and looked up.

“for what?”

iwaizumi sighed quietly and took y/n’s hands into his own.

“for being patient. i know i said i wanted to take things slow but you really do make me happy. my last relationship was... difficult. it didn't end well and it was toxic from the start i should've seen it coming. you make me want to give relationships a second chance.”

the girl gently squeezed iwaizumi’s hands as he looked into her pretty eyes.

“again, i won't ask you what happened, i’ll let you tell me in your own time, but for what its worth, i will never make things difficult for you.”

to this, iwaizumi laughed.

“it’s a little late for that y/n.”

“how?”

the boy looked away before edging towards y/n a little closer.

“because, all these emotions you make me feel, they’re almost foreign to me, it’s difficult for me to understand them.”

so that was it.

“if i’m the one making it difficult, then let me help make things easier.”

y/n pulled herself into iwaizumi’s lap and cupped his face while staring into his wide eyes softly. she ghosted her fingers over his cheek bones and hummed in satisfaction at his defined features. Iwaizumi’s hands hand snaked around her waist securing her in her position.

y/n sighed lightly before leaning in and grazing her lips over iwaizumi’s tickling his slightly. sick of holding back iwaizumi couldn't take the anticipation any longer. swiftly removing one arm from around her waist, he cupped one hand on y/n’s cheek and pulled her down on to him pressing a firm and desperate kiss to her. she gasped in surprise and iwaizumi took this opportunity to deepen the kiss with nothing but a need for y/n to feel the emotions he had been holding back from her.

y/n moved her hands and wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss turned lazy but still full of emotion. a soft, pure love was translated through the kiss as y/n began to pull away to catch her breath only to press soft and delicate butterfly kisses to the boys face.

“did that make things any easier?”

“i was trying to be on my best behaviour and you ruined it.”

y/n hummed as she pressed one last kiss to him before resting her head into his chest.

“you’re glad i did really.”

iwaizumi wrapped his arms around y/n pulling her closer into him.

“that did make things a little easier though.”

y/n looked up and smiled.

“good. sometimes i’m not sure if i’m always getting what i’m feeling across to you properly, that seemed like a good way to do it.”

“if that’s your way of telling me your emotions i may have to act even more insensitive.”

the girl laughed and playfully slapped the boy’s arm before cuddling back into his broad chest.

“minus 2 y/n points.”

“i like you. and not even just a little bit anymore.”

yeah, the two wanted to take things slow but maybe bokuto and the other’s were right. if it was meant to be then things just couldn't be forced to slow down. y/n and iwaizumi had crossed paths in such a spontaneous way, neither could even think to prepare for what emotions would flood when they had started to get involved with one another.

“i won't ask you to be my girlfriend, not just yet, there's still things i want to learn about you, for you to learn about me, but believe when i say i want to be serious about you, i want to try with you, i want you. just give me a bit more time but i promise some day soon, you’ll be my girl but i want to be the best i can for you and right now i’m still figuring things out. i want you when i’m happy with myself.”

y/n couldn't help but let the glowing smile on her face break out.

“a little selfish aren't we?”

“yeah i am, only for you though.”

y/n loosely wrapped her arms around iwaizumi’s neck before looking into his sincere and genuine eyes.

“well, when you’re happy with yourself and have things figured out, i’m yours for the taking, until then, let’s figure this all out together at our own pace. it’s clear neither of us want to force things to go at a slow pace but naturally i agree it’s best we learn a little more about each other before making anything official. i like you and i know you like me, we have all the time in the world to stick a label with commitments on us so i don't mind taking things as they come.”

iwaizumi let out a sigh of relief as he pulled y/n into his chest as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“you know, maybe i am glad shittykawa decided to bother you at the train station that day.”

“yeah? i’m glad too.”

enough had been said between the pair. they weren't ready for an actual relationship just yet, but iwaizumi felt excited about the idea of eventually getting to call y/n his officially. all he had to do was get rid of his insecurities and doubts from his last relationship so he could be the best version of himself for the girl who makes him want to do that. he had spent hours wondering if y/n felt the same unexplainable emotions as he did and tonight he knew he could rest easy knowing that she was in just as deep as him.

he was catching feelings over her and he’d hoped she’d caught them too.

whatever stars had heard his wishes, he said a silent thanks as the two drifted off to sleep there on y/n’s couch limbs tangled together.

this was only the start, but both of them slept with a few butterflies in their stomachs as they dreamt about what was yet to come, pulled in close together as they slept under the clear twinkling stars above the skylight in y/n’s apartment.

next stop iwa-chan!

iwaizumi haijime x reader

masterlist

an - both y/n and iwa are in deep

akaashi’s playgroup || two pretty setters and co

part 17 - admit it

part 18 - i hope u catch them too

part 19 - whatever we are

PLEASE SEND AN ASK TO BE ADDED TO TAGLIST

taglist : @crushingonsuga @bloody-bella @totorosleaff @kageyamasbabygorl @cuddlyroger @hidden-otaku-stuff @vanilla-beanzz @macchiatoast @kac-chowsballs @anime-read-write-repeat @missalienqueen @bbkiyoomi @toaster-stick @nerdynstoned @otaku-fangirlse @the-third-wall @nekomateammanager @bokutoichigo @killlerqween @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @doggonudez @iwaizluv @angrylittlezizi @softmultistan @lifesciencesbois @itsmattsunshinehere @haikyus1mp @bringmelily @valrubiii @saturnfarie @oyaoyaoya-chan @ack-aashi @weebymaria @introvertatitsfinest @rd-crew @strawberryyymiaa @a-fucking-simp @chokomoko @iwachanswh0re @maybesoph @leviathans-watching @loser-keiji

#iwaizumi haijime #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi smau #haikyuu smau #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #next stop iwa chan

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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yridenergyridenergy · 4 years

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Hello there! If you have some time to spare; I would be very interested in hearing your opinion in each album of Dir en grey so far.. or what they make you feel like etc etc.. If you got the time ;)

The Insulated World

If you try karaoke with this album, you quickly notice that the MAJORITY of the lines are structured long and you always run out of breath. Like you are spent and out of oxygen or life after each. It's tasking on the abdos, painful no matter whether the song is constituted of screaming or is a 'ballad'. Whether it is by screaming the end to expulse the last bit of breath or transitioning from one sentence to the other for as long as there is still air in your lungs, Kyo orchestrated these lyrics in a manner that demonstrates his meaning, which will bring him to the brink of death and that he wishes to use all ounces of his existence to transmit. "Until my very last breath". With this album, it helped that I worked on posting the lyrics and stuff to incorporate them into my understanding from the start. So, there is no escaping that this is the "I hate myself" album. But this loop of ending the last song the same way as the beginning of the first song – I scream therefore I live – is genius. Globally, the tone isn't one void of hope.

Another particularity with this album, I think, is the "spitting" going on. The 'dare' sounding like 'zare' in Ningen wo Kaburu for instance isn't just a Kyoto accent: you can hear the lack of restraint, the raw and unfiltered loathing that can't warrant one second spared to collect the saliva properly in the mouth. But it's not screamed as much, everything has been very reflected.

Musically, I have found myself detecting melodies that are extremely familiar to ARCHE and Dum Spiro Spero ever since their release. That was usually on the first couple of listening sessions though, so I would have difficulty pointing them out now, but it feels like the raw sound is not as unique as it used to be. Perhaps just the band thinking about giving themselves a break on stage by thinking about how difficult things could be to play and keep in mind if they want to move around or interact with the fans.

THE MARROW OF A BONE

Some sorrow, but an orgy of frustration. No care for how long, just short bursts of anger stringed one after the other. That being said, there are some interesting guitar melodies among everything using that dirty, somber tuning, even though Shinya's track does not demonstrate his independent streak. Overall, listening to this album, I develop a vision of dwindling, swirling pieces of flesh exposing a head that exploded open out of sheer intellectual anger? Perhaps because of the majorly English lyrics which, coming from a Japanese, means that there was more effort put into them to reach a wider range of recipients. There was too much contained but not just in the heart – like the person tried to contain it and reason with those feelings, however it became overbearing and transcended all restraints of the mind.

UROBOROS

Before even realizing that that was the intended world view featured in the ultra deluxe release whatever, from the first few songs I was really imagining a desolated landscape. A very somber one. Throughout the album, it feels like you navigate from one area to the other in this world, encountering deserts but also destroyed cities and even living beings, like demons. And yet, at the end there is a twist of hope, it seems. Overall, UROBOROS sounds so sophisticated, the melodies are starting to be elegant while dirty and low. But, I hadn't noticed before, you can discern some melodies following the lyrics very closely like in all of the rest of the music produced in the world. Still, this album really has Shinya shining with his truly unique, genius drumming. If you don't know what I am talking about, watch him or an amateur drummer playing GLASS SKIN. To finish, is it just me or does this album's guitar riffs sound very "piratey"? In addition to the dry, post-catastrophic land, there is some personality in the guitars that my mind associates to pirates for some reason... Well, UROBOROS is very beautiful and goodness, I love Tue Madsen's mixing.

VULGAR

This album is ominous but exudes confidence. There is something daring about the individuality of the songs that is fully assumed and goes in your face. The music is more repetitive than in most Dir en grey albums, but the heavy riffs are catchy and there is a plurality of sounds regardless. With this album, I get reminded that Kyo's voice is rather unique in the Japanese music scene for not being as low as the average singer. I love the UGHs throughout the album. It's very lyrics-heavy, each song is an individual story for sure.

Six Ugly

Again, the music can be repetitive but there are some very good beats and sound experimentation. In general, this mini-album gives me the sense of a renegade teen expressing madness both as frustration but also as some delusion. It's slightly on the crazy side hah. The way it ends is representative: a scream followed shortly by a laugh.

GAUZE

As much as I was approaching this album now with some resentment due to those people on Twitter who hold it as the sole album worth mentioning in all of Dir en grey's history, damn this was a very, very solid debut album (MISSA tends to be overlooked hah). It feels like a train, both as a continuous, relentless ride but also a train hitting you head on. The music can get very repetitive at times, but there are such good riffs too. The tone of the singing throughout most of the album is "revendicateur" (no real equivalence in English), respectful but very powerful regardless. There are already very interesting experimentations with the voice at this early stage.

MISSA

How did Shinya even go from such standard, non-varied drumming skills to his genius and unique performance of these days... Still, much better than a lot of other stuff I hear on today's radio or from the past, and especially from ANY other visual kei/J-rock band of that era. I listened to Aoi Tsuki all the time before hah. There is something insolent about the sound of the guitars in this album. The repetitiveness and the lyrics that are dragged on make this a more contemplative work.

(As far as semi-albums go... Do you consider The Unraveling one? AH don't get me started on this one, my love is absolute! 改-KAI- is just remixes though...)

Kisou

Like I am witnessing a very particular ceremony. There is demonic mixed with frustration and sadness. There are some highly powerful atmospheres in the songs on this album, like Bottom of the death valley, Gyakujou Tannou Keloid Milk and Karasu. It's vicious, it keeps me transfixed. The transitional tunes (shinsou) are so nice to have, they really transport you from one mood to another.

Withering to death.

Ah this is when I discovered Dir en grey. THE FINAL had been enough to trigger the rest of this past decade+. This whole album grips my heart and elevates it, deepening the trend of exuding all that's inside. And hey, having watched these songs live a few times, they definitely have that 'dancey' vibe. There is a remarkable trace of maturity in this album from all members and every song is very unique. Ending with Kodou too... All in all, a very relatable work, like everything that followed.

ARCHE

Du Shinya génial tout craché. This album wholly demonstrates Shinya's talent, the rolling and so diverse drums. Overall throughout this album, the bass and drum tracks are very, very appreciable. And the guitars pave some amazing, fantasist sonorities. ARCHE, to me, is desolation but, primordially, HOPE. It feels like the sadness is acknowledged but the energy of this album possesses me, courses through my veins and what unfolds is an encouragement to take control and turn your gaze forward. When a closed one passed away, "What now?" from Chain Repulsion and other segments of the songs on this album surfaced in my mind. When the dearest soul in my life passed away, in the end, this album is what I turned to in order to assimilate the situation, pour it out and still leave with a sliver of hope.

My initial thoughts about ARCHE when it came out was that the songs were universes that were cut short prior to being fully fleshed out. Almost a "coït interrompu". Now, I deeply appreciate them as they are, but indeed each tune is a world of its own, so immensely unique. There is something very stubborn about some of the songs too, like "I won't let you ignore what happened, I'll make sure of that". Seize the reins.

Dum Spiro Spero

I get the image of one horribly gigantic and tenebrous snake sliding across the ground, fangs bared but discrete, prowling. There is something difficult to seize about these songs, like they are up there on a pedestal trying to lure me in with fantasy golden linings... Otherwise, I am quite biased by a review I had read, which described this album as the opening of the gates of hell, letting loose all that it had imprisoned. I really agree with this depiction. The sounds on this album are very bewitching, it's as if there was magic involved and many of the songs sport twists and turns, as though to pull the listener into various tunnels up and down in something that you are not too sure you want to partake in.

MACABRE

Honestly I am relieved when I remember that this came right after GAUZE, not Kisou. Macabre's content is definitely very raw and overall, the sounds are very constant. It feels like a storyteller album, where things are expressed and you are entranced, but as far as relating to the stories being told... Weird things are going on sometimes hah. What is sure is that, no matter the range of emotions, they are powerful. There is little restraint to this intensity and madness. What it starts, it ends. And this album gave us the likes of Wake, a fist in and of itself.

And yet, throughout these two decades, there is an unmistakable constant of five men producing unique rhythms that aren't bound by even one another and yet come together as one to form a plethora of the most genuine expressions of pain, sadness, anger and, still, hope. Which is why I say that my favourite album is all of them.

I would be very interested in reading other fans’ impressions of each album too, and curious to know if anybody agrees with my thoughts on them. Let’s open a discussion!

#thanks for the trip #anon #ask #albums #opinion #Dir en grey #京 #Kyo #Die #Shinya #Toshiya #Kaoru #薫

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cutiecrates · 5 years

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Cutie Reviews: NMNL May 19

I know it’s only been a week since I did the previous NMNL, but I had been hoping to have this done a few days ago. But I just wasn’t really in a hurry to use the items like I usually do. The box wasn’t the problem though, I just lost a little momentum again. But I’m feeling better again and I’m ready to do this!

“May’s box is all about embracing your natural beauty! Whether you want to do that by taking care of your skin or enhancing your features wih a little makeup, we’ve included the perfect products for you because we want you to feel beautiful this month!“

Prize

For winning the contest this month, first prize could win a set of the Missa Time Revolution Vitality Set of curated products, while runner-ups got a Missa dual blending eyeshadow in Rose Crown.

Glam Gift

Meanwhile, the glam gift includes a whole set of Etude House goods :D I love Etude House, and I was very excited to recognize the Missing U lotion, it’s the exact one I have. I meant to buy the whole set, but I kinda forgot to get the others...

I’ve also been planning on buying the soft drink lip products because of how cute they are, so I found that to be kinda funny too.

Meanwhile, the months horoscope is What cocktail should you try? with mine, Libra, being a Mai Tai. I’ve heard of it, but I never tried it. I’d love to try a strawberry daiquiri though, or maybe a Cosmopolitan- I’m only into fruity, colorful drinks.

Okay, well with that let’s get started!

Patting Panda Tool

Our first item is a unique beauty tool meant to emulate an important part of the Japanese skin care routine. This is basically applying a lotion product by gently patting the skin until its absorbed in the skin, so this adorable panda wand will help with that. I assume you can also use it with other various skin products.

All you do is apply a cotton pad or paper or tissue or something, then apply a lotion (from the images I assume liquid works better, or something thin and runny), then you tap it against the skin about 30 times. I think you can do more than that though because I noticed mine was fine after that, so I think I was closer to 50 or 60 when I noticed mine was dirty and thinned out/no longer usable.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I mean, in all honesty it’s probably more work just putting this thing together than it is actually applying/patting the product on yourself. BUT, it’s nice if you don’t want it all over your hands or touch your face, and I can’t say it doesn’t work. I used it and noticed that the product seemed to absorb quicker and my skin felt really nice. I also love pandas, so it’s pretty cute in that regard; and it was actually fun to use.

The only thing I dislike is that the loop piece won’t stay on unless you have something for it to connect to on the head piece, the cotton pad/tissue/paper. So until I decide where to put it, I’ll be leaving it in the box, which takes up a lot of space if you ask me...

Speed Off Brush Cleaning Sheets

Our next item is for cleaning makeup brushes, with each wipe infused with Alkaline electrolyte water to remove built up dirt, sebum, oil, foundation, and whatever else might be on the brushes. There is 12 in a set, and let me tell you, I used 3 of them cleaning all of my brushes.

That is because in all honesty, I actually was never told about the importance of cleaning your makeup brushes. I would clean them as I used them, but I never gave them a real, wet cleaning. Not cleaning your makeup tools can lead to bacteria that can lead to acne and other skin conditions- that never happened to me as of yet, but that isn’t to say it never wouldn’t have.

They have a scent, but I’m not sure what it is. It isn’t really a pleasant scent like flowers or fruit, but it’s not bad either, it’s really light.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

To be fair you probably could have got the same effect just wetting the brushes and cleaning them manually, but this saves you effort; it’s like the opposite of the panda, but like the Panda, I actually really liked these. Not only did they make everything look brand new and tidy again, but it also did an awesome job removing the built up mascara on my favorite eyelash curler I really need to throw away but won’t because it’s my favorite.

As I said above, I did go through 3 of them, but rest assure that I used each one to its fullest and they were covered. But to be fair, one of my palettes got smeared with another makeup and I had a hard time removing it, and my foundation brush was loaded with product <3< it’s seen a lot...

Fragrance Body Sheets

By Fiancee (a brand we’ve seen before but not recently~) we have these fun looking body wipes in a grapefruit scent. They have a cooling menthol effect and will keep one moisturized and refreshed whether it be in the morning while getting ready or while outside enjoying the weather.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I love these! I’ve always ♥ grapefruit scents or anything citrus-based because to me they’re very refreshing and great pick-me-ups on those lazy mornings you can’t wake up fast enough. They smell amazing and the scent is long-lasting!

The only reason I marked them down is because you’re told not to use these on your face or clothing... I mostly use wipes for my face, and if necessary my clothes too, like if I spilled something while I’m out. I don’t know why they can’t be used on these 2 places, but I don’t plan to test my luck either and I really hope I remember not to use them on my face <3<

I assume it’ll burn...

Japanese Bath Powder & Fluffy Cleansing Pad

First up is an item I’ve had before, but it’s been so long I don’t remember if I had it in this specific version. These are adorable bath powders based on the daruma doll, lucky cat, or a dog, each with their own beneficial ingredients; like the daruma I have contains Japanese snake gourd plant extract, the cat has orange blossom oil, and the dog contains chrysanthemum extract.

As you can see I got the daruma doll, and he smells really good. I can’t tell if its cranberry or lychee or what, but it smells good and has a pretty matching color. I did use it, but because I didn’t feel like taking a bath I soaked my feet in again, but because there’s so much powder I only used a portion of it. The rest will be saved for a bath... or more feet soaks cause lately that’s what I’m into.

Since I’m pretty sure I already had this one, or one exactly like it. I’m not going to rate it, I’ll just say that my feet/skin felt no difference after I used it. All it really did was color the water (no staining btw) and release a strong, pleasant scent.

-----

Our next item is a cleansing facial pad, available in 2 colors/designs, and I was very happy I got the pink one~ But they’re both cute colors. Like the panda, this is another product by Beauty World.

These are for exfoliating and cleansing the skin while removing makeup, instead of using a cotton pad or wipes that might strip the skin of beneficial nutrients. They also brighten the skin.

I decided not to rate this one either, but only because I didn’t really have much to say about it. It feels really soft and fluffy like the name implies, and it does its job.

Berrisom Horror Mask

Our next item is another Berrisom mask, this time part of their Horror line. We could either get a skeleton version made from Black Rice, which focuses on clearing up dry skin and improving the elasticity and moisturization, or the Pierrot/clown version, made from green tea and bamboo water to deeply moisturize and prevent wrinkles.

In knowing that, either one would have worked for me... but I don’t remember i I mentioned this before or not (I probably did), I’m terrified of skeletons DX I know it’s silly, but I’ve always been; the only exception is that I think skull designs are cute, and cutesy skeletons I can endure, I used to love the Skelanimal series.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It smells good, it has that Target scent I mention some times. I really like it, but I did not like the skull design on this mask DX it was scary. For me to use this, I had put it on and hurried up and put one of my other masks on top of it because I could see myself wearing it.

Again, I know its weird but it’s what I had to do okay.

Its quality was great though, plenty moist and it stuck very good. It was very soothing, and my face felt really nice after I used it~

Oh My Lash Mascara

Our next item is by Etude House, the Oh My Lash Mascara available in 2 formats; either #3 which focuses on volume or #4 for curling. I got 3, which you can kinda see in the pic on both the tube and lid.

This is a basic black mascara. There’s a little bit of a scent but it doesn’t smell like typical mascara.

Rating: ♥ ♥

I was really disappointed with last months Kira Kira Crate metallic pink let-down, so this one, which wasn’t nearly as cute didn’t give discourage me. As soon as I smoothly pulled out the wand and observed the bristles, I had high hopes this one would be pretty good.

But despite how good it looks, it’s a typical mascara. It’s not the worst and I can see a difference, but my lashes insta-clumped and stuck together. That usually doesn’t happen until like my third or fourth swipe (if I really have to do that many that is...). This won’t be in my top 3 mascara anytime soon.

Lip Tint Jam

Our last item is by Canmake. This lip tint jam is available in No.4 Expresso Jam, but don’t let the name fool you, it has a scent but its not a delicious one. This specific product features a jam-like jelly texture that easily spreads on the lips for a smooth, semi-matte finish. It comes in a brownish-orange shade... A shade I can’t say I was ever considering for myself.

Rating: ♥ ♥

The product isn’t bad, I kind of like how it feels on my lips. It went on smoothly as promised, but I did have to apply it a couple times to evenly spread out, because each time i brought my lips together it seemed to pull it away from certain spots. I wasn’t crazy about the color, but after dabbing it, it left a lighter, but still-noticeable tint on my lips that I approve of a lot more.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 3.5 out of 5. I liked the items, but I felt like some of them were lacking in quality.

Theme: 1.5 out of 5. Honestly, I think only a couple items really enhance ones natural beauty. I never really consider makeup to be Natural, but if you do I’d bump it up to a 2.

Total Rank: 6 out of 10. The products are fine and they do work,but in comparison to the past two that I really liked, I felt like this one didn’t measure up. It had a handful of nice qualities too though, so I can’t say it was a bad box, it’s just my personal opinion that it could have been better.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Body Sheets - Besides the fun, colorful packaging, these smell deliciously wonderful! I’ll be bringing these with me and using them on those sleepy mornings for sure.

2. Patting Panda - It’s so sweet, I can’t help but smile looking at it~

3. Japanese Bath Powder - Smells and looks really pretty. I didn’t feel any different but it was still a pleasant experience.

4. Berrisom Face Mask - the prior ones weren’t too impressive but they smelled good, and this one smelled good too- plus the quality actually impressed me. These ones would be fun to use at a slumber party or friendly get-together.

5. Speed Off Cleaner - I love its pink and black color scheme on the packaging x3 I was also very impressed by these. I wish we got more, but I can see why we didn’t, since you don’t need to clean your makeup tools all the time. They could end up drying up before you use them all DX

6. Lip Tint Jam - Felt nice but it left my lips uneven and patchy until like the 3rd application. I didn’t like the color until I wiped off a portion of it after a few minutes. The bottle is really cute though and I think it’ll be a nice shade for fall/autumn.

7. Cleansing Pad - The packaging is really cute but the sponge itself is plain; the polar bear face isn’t really even on it, which disappointed me a bit. It feels really nice on the skin though, so I think I’ll still use it. When I remember that is...

8. Oh My Lash Mascara - I think this was the biggest disappointment in the box. It worked but I wasn’t impressed by it. It’s also pretty plain, which is so not the image of Etude House I get.

#cutie reviews #nmnl #nomakenolife #fiancee #canmake #etude house #berrisom

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