#just realized the way i approach friendship is extremely similar to the way i approach the act of creating art .. as something aspirational | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

directdogman · 1 year

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Can we get Karen facts? Since we had the Randy and Oliver ones??? Gotta continue the lgbt train and I don’t see nearly enough Karen Love™

I wasn't gonna do a third one tonight but JUST because it's Karen... okay.

Karen has a secret love of truly absurdist comedy. This is the 1/3 of Oliver's sense of humour that Karen finds amusing.

Karen is naturally gifted when it comes to visualizing detailed scenes and tracking consistently details. She is also able to distort things freely in ways akin to insane mathematical filters/shaders and print the result.

Karen's keen and automatic visualization of things makes Karen exceptionally good at catching people out on lies. If people tell Karen a story, she pictures it so vividly that she will realize if details conflict or if the timeline doesn't work and will point the discrepancies out. So, it's very difficult to become close to Karen if you aren't honest.

Karen's inability to read people, ironically, makes it exceedingly difficult for even the most experienced of liars to fool her, even with a complex strategy that would fool most people. Because Karen can't read subtle emotive queues, she relies on her ability to crosscheck information in her head in order to verify that she's understanding the speaker's intent 100% clearly... This means that Karen puts what's said to her under a level of scrutiny that most don't, which reveals plot-holes inevitably. This makes Karen exceedingly powerful during high stakes situations.

Here's some more cross relationships/comparisons:

Oliver: Something relevant I didn't mention was Oliver + Karen's shared gift to visualize. The only thing is, Oliver's gift is more mechanical (3d, being able to imagine how a lot of small complex pieces exactly connect together) while Karen's is more liquid (in that she can wildly distort images with filters in her head) because her renders use... ink. Ironically, that difference in them means they approach problems differently, and while working on projects simultaneously, can bring both approaches to the table. This is why Karen was so so easily able to smuggle Gingi + Norm into Oliver's scare shack and pass it off as a routine delivery, because the two DO collaborate and have a strong working relationship.

Norm: Karen and Norm's first encounter wasn't the best first impression and while the two care about the other, neither will outright admit it to the other and pretend to have a slightly more casual friendship than they actually do. Karen's severity cut Norm the first time they made contact because he had no idea what to expect, but Norm knows not to slip up when speaking to Karen now. Both Norm and Karen are very protective of their friends, so both realize the value in having another keen eye watching out for Gingi, Oliver, Randy or Bigfoot wandering into traffic.

Interestingly, Karen trusts Norm's sense of responsibility and in an active emergency, he's the first person she'd contact of her friends. Only time will tell if the two will become more outspoken of their mutual respect/care for the other.

Mayor Mingus: The two don't share an active friendship because their core values don't overlap, and because Karen is too good at detecting wrongdoing (a trait that Mingus already struggles with in Norm), but Karen and Mingus share enough similarities in personality that if Mingus continued changing positively, a friendship could theoretically develop, one could argue.

One trait that these two actually share is that they cannot stand eating with other people. Other people's eating noises is a NO-NO for either of them. In both cases, if either of the two can sit comfortably while you eat something nearby, it's an extreme positive indicator.

They both also are peculiar about very small details that most would find unimportant or trivial. Both are also VERY fussy when it comes to what is and isn't added to their food and would scowl at the suggestion to scrape unwanted topics off a burger. You don't understand, the INGREDIENTS TOUCH OTHER INGREDIENTS.

Okay, that's Karen's lil facts post over 'n' done with. alright, enjoy the

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mbti-notes · 1 year

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Hello MBTI-Notes. How can I start new relationships without expecting them to grow deeper and longer? I have this problem where whenever I meet someone with similar tastes and interests as mine, I find myself imagining a friendship/romance and expecting to be a priority in that person's life, which is a bad thing because it makes me needy and desperate for attention.

1) Expectations: The expectations are just the symptom, not the root of the matter. Problematic expectations come out of the deeper issue of living in fantasy or having a distorted view of reality. No matter how hard you try to adjust your thinking, you cannot achieve realistic expectations as long as you refuse to see reality (unhealthy Ni).

Why do people choose to live in fantasy? Usually it's because they prefer it to the "harshness" of reality. In other words, they can't handle negativity and/or unpredictability, so they retreat into their own version of reality where there's no negativity and they control everything.

According to the psychology of habitual behavior, you won't be able to stop any kind of bad habit as long as you are:

unwilling to give up the gains/benefits that you derive from it and,

willfully ignoring the negative consequences that arise from it.

An easy example to understand is addiction. It's hard to break an addiction because the "high" you obtain is a chance to experience pleasure and mentally escape from life's intractable problems. This gain/benefit is too compelling for addicts to give up, even in the face of self-destruction.

In the same vein, are you willing to give up the gains/benefits of your "addiction" to living in fantasy? Firstly, you have to be aware of what they are, so list them. Secondly, you have to finally realize that those "gains" or "benefits" are actually false and harming you and not worth chasing. Thirdly and most importantly, you have to place more value on the real gains/benefits of breaking the habit and replacing it with a better one.

Reflect: What do you have to gain by being more realistic in your approach to relationships? Do you really want those gains (more than the gains of fantasy)? Are you willing to work for those gains?

2) Neediness: Another aspect of your question is desperate/needy behavior. This might be an indication that there's something off about your approach to relationships. We all need love. The need for love comes from a positive and constructive place of building a meaningful life. Neediness, however, is different, because it comes from a negative and self-sabotaging place such as: insecurity, self-loathing, emptiness, vanity, greed, etc. You'll have to do some self-reflection to see what's really at the bottom of your neediness. It sounds like you have a desire to "merge" yourself with someone, which is a dangerous way of thinking if it means lack of boundaries and losing yourself in the process (unhealthy Fe).

In some cases, neediness can be ameliorated by nurturing independence. Do you suffer from extreme beliefs that relationships are everything or the answer to all your problems etc? Do you suffer from obsessiveness, often fixating on a person, wanting them to be everything and give you everything you want? You need to correct these kinds of faulty beliefs because they make your worldview too small, narrow, and distorted.

There are lots of things in life that are important and require your attention outside of relationships. Be a more well-rounded person by giving enough attention to every aspect of life that is important for your personal growth, rather than devoting everything to relationships. Be more flexible and open-minded so that you can see and experience all the many different kinds of relationships out there, rather than limiting yourself to just one person or one singular purpose. This will help you put relationships in the right perspective, in terms of assigning them a healthier role in your life.

In the process of making these macro level adjustments to your life, the growth you undergo will naturally make you into a more attractive and capable candidate for relationships. Wouldn't it be nice to be sought out instead of the one always seeking?

3) Education: Another thing you can do is learn about your attachment style and understand how it influences your current approach to relationships. What lessons have you learned about how to conduct relationships? Were they good lessons to learn?

The fact is most of us learn about relationships from the adults we had most contact with as children. If they were not good role models and inadvertently passed down unhealthy relationship behavior to you, then an important part of your personal growth should involve correcting those unhealthy patterns and learning healthier ones. Things like communication skills, conflict resolution skills, boundary setting, and emotional intelligence are all important things to learn and improve on if you hope to be more socially competent.

#infj #infj relationships #expectations #fantasizing #neediness #independence #attachment style #relationships #ask

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scramble-crossing · 9 months

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your writing has like totally reframed minamimoto as a character for me, its so cool. like of COURSE this central idea of social interconnectedness and the worth of it to someone with other priorities would be explored in echoes throughout the cast, like the story is asking Has asked sho the same question its asking neku. which i guess is also just. what a foil is lol.

its just wild tho, like down to the interest in art, theyre so similar that its like hes a version of this story of isolation that went differently !! i could totally see his backstory as showing him go thru life+the reapers game as Almost realizing people are worth it, swerving away from that conclusion into self-reverence, and there NEO shows him approaching it again, as if to illustrate the idea that there is no point at which it is 'too late' for someone to re-evaluate the world and how they look at it.

(and the idea that he does this, while still not having an entry fee of i think, his ability to relate w others?? could be such a cool examination of the idea of empathy, and how its different from compassion/kindness/caring for people)

anyway thank you!!!! bc of u i have a richer understanding of my favorite game now :)))

;-; Oh jeeze...that's so kind of you to say!! I'm so happy you enjoy my silly little shoposting :] Spreading Sho Narrative Propaganda is my ultimate goal and so I'm absolutely thrilled to hear that whatever the heck I've been doing on this blog for the last year and a half has actually impacted someone's view on Sho as a character.

"like of COURSE this central idea of social interconnectedness and the worth of it to someone with other priorities would be explored in echoes throughout the cast, like the story is asking Has asked sho the same question its asking neku"

^^^Yes!!! Exactly!! Part of why Sho is so fascinating to me is because he is the only main character in the series who has not yet answered this question for himself (Because Joshua has. He, at some point, chose to forsake closeness and actual relation to humanity in favour of his position as Composer, and however much he may regret it or wish that things were different, he still, for reasons we don't quite understand, holds onto it (Perhaps out of obligation? Perhaps there is no easy exist strategy for a being of his status and composition). In any case I think NEO makes it clear that his story has concluded, however miserable a conclusion that may be).

I mentioned this before, but it's the fact that we have already seen the worst-case scenario in Joshua, the lowest that Neku could have possible gone had he made different choices, that makes me hope for a redemption arc for Sho.

"...as if to illustrate the idea that there is no point at which it is 'too late' for someone to re-evaluate the world and how they look at it."

I cannot overstate how much I love this. It does fit so well with the themes of the series to show a character grapple with the fact that a worldview he's held for so long is extremely toxic and damaging to both himself and others in a messier and more complex way, and farther into adulthood, too, than the majority of our cast. While this is more into the realm of headcanon, I do think that there is a part of Sho that only clings to his ambitions to become the Composer because at this point he has invested too much in the pursuit, and to abandon it would be to admit that everything he's lost or discarded, his friendship with the Wicked Twisters, the prime years of his youth, his life, not just once, but twice, because had he joined the Twisters there's a chance he could have shared in their second chance...it would all be for nothing.

"Is this what you're searching for?"

"Are you scared to know the truth?"

I would kill for a threequel that explores Sho's journey as his resolve begins to waver and he realizes that overcoming the Composer was never possible, and maybe wasn't ever what would make him feel...happy? Complete? Nothing about the cold and lonely darkness of the Room of Reckoning could ever fill whatever emptiness was inside of him that made him dedicate himself so fiercely to this goal in the first place. And despite the years that have slipped by him with failure after failure after failure, he can still start again, and make something new of himself.

Joshua, Neku, and Sho are three sides of a very strange coin. One failed to connect with others and rationalized this lapse to himself by digging in his heels with his severely individualistic mentality, shrugging off his personal responsibility to make efforts to empathize with or understand the perspective of other people by insisting that it just isn't possible. Neku is the same. Or at least, he was. But then he made the choice to try anyways, and discovered that even if we cannot always see eye-to-eye, we challenge ourselves and make ourselves into wiser, kinder, better people by reaching out to others and, if only for a little while, making their world a part of our own.

Sho exists somewhere in the middle, sharing and maintaining many of the same beliefs ("All the world needs is me" / "All that matters is MY beauty!"), while also growing in a way that seems to have him challenging some of his own preconceived notions on the worth of other people, even if it's with baby steps. There is so much potential to parallel his arc with both Neku's and Joshua's in a very interesting way while still letting him carry his own unique message, and I do genuinely believe that if Square wanted, they could make something incredible out of a game with a narrative focused predominantly on him, and his answer to the series' greatest question.

...And maybe how he came to have to ask it in the first place?

I'm gonna shamelessly plug my fic Loner Phase here because it's all about exploring Sho's potential backstory and how it led to him becoming the person we see him as at the start of the first game. I started writing it faaaaairly recently and quickly distracted myself with writing a fic for the twewy bang (no regrets though. Crazy stressed about the time limit because I'm obviously a bit of a slow writer and tend to bite off waaaay more than I can chew, but I'm working on it. It'll be fine.) so there's only one chapter so far, but chapter two...it's coming. It's getting there. <- said with my head in my hands

I'm rambling but genuinely your comment made my day :] This is my first time being active in a fanbase and I feel so grateful for all the kind and creative people I've encountered here. You guys are the best 💖

#making joshua's little uehehehe all day after reading this #I am forever insane about sho and it makes me happy to know that people actually like reading my thoughts on him #it gives me a burst of motivation!! I am gonna kill that bang fic time limit be damned I am gonna COMMIT #shoposting #ask #minamimoto

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thebreakfastgenie · 2 years

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Same anon again and I feel like I need to clarify something further as well as I think you might be making some assumptions about me (which is fine, by the way, as you don't know anything about me except my last anon -- I just wanted to clear a few things up). I am also an LGBT person, specifically a bisexual trans person who has been read socially as a gay man, a gay woman and a straight woman at different times in my life as well as being correctly identified by people with more information. I know this means I do not have the same experience of existing as a gay person but I hope you can see how this gives me a perspective on it. Additionally, I know very well the "just don't hit on me" vibes as unfortunately I grew up in the same/similar era and those were more or less the exact words my high school best friend said to me when I came out. That kind of thing has always stuck with me even though I'm aware that now society has shifted in some ways. To this day I still get that in e.g. the workplace. And I think possibly the fact this experience has led me down the path a little of being very protective of LGBT interpretations of certain characters while being very protective of the platonic friendships of some others. To use more examples from bygone eras, though I grant you that I can't think of many examples specifically from the 1970s off the top of my head, I think about perceptions of male friendship in Lord of the Rings (the books, not the films) vs the relationships of the leads in Rebel Without A Cause. Or to look at more recent works, the way "fandom" approached Good Omens (the book) in the 1990s versus the way that "fandom" approaches Good Omens (the miniseries) now.

Hi again! I want to clarify that I was not making assumptions about you or your experiences. I was speaking about my own experiences, without intending to imply anything about the experiences of anyone else. Honestly, I probably subconsciously assumed you had some connection to the LGBT community, just based on the demographics here and your interest in this subject, but I didn't consciously think about it. I do sometimes highlight the way my sexual orientation affected my opinions because I think it's sort of the opposite of what's common here and I like to remind people that gay people are not a monolith and our experiences of consuming media while gay can lead to opposite conclusions. I have noticed that my interests vis-a-vis fandom, shipping, and gay shipping specifically have shifted as I've gained a clearer understanding of my sexuality and become more comfortable and secure in it. A semi-related example: I became much more interested in M/F ships after I realized I was gay; a lot of people report the opposite. For me, I think once I accepted I wasn't interested in a relationship with a man, I stopped trying to force myself to see those relationships as something I should understand or aspire to, and instead became able to enjoy them as relating to characters who are unlike me and trying to feel those experiences, which is an aspect of media I really enjoy. I like Hawkeye/Margaret and I probably wouldn't have ten or twelve years ago.

And hey, I have the same experience, just probably not with the exact same ships! To give an example, I'm fairly invested in the gay Spock interpretation (and this is one of very, very few gay headcanons I have). I'm fairly protective of it and this is definitely wrapped up in getting invested in Star Trek and spirk around the same time I was realizing I was not bisexual, but a lesbian. To give another M*A*S*H example, obviously I dislike hunnihawk, but I aggressively dislike any interpretation of Hawkeye and Tommy Gillis as former boyfriends, even though I headcanon them as gay and bi respectively I am just extremely protective of the platonic childhood best friends dynamic, especially because Tommy dies, and I have, as established, kind of a thing about dead childhood best friends. In addition to that projection, "best friends who both grew up queer" is also an experience that rings true.

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thetomcruiseblr · 8 months

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This really made me realize that even after 31 years, I was such a baby to humanity.

To be honest, I'm sure this type of thing happens all the time - in fandom and in real life. It just has never happened to me. If I have ever gone from a fandom or have drifted away from friends, it was always a natural thing - a lack of interest, no longer having things in common, etc.. I could never ever have fathomed something like this happening. I have as much enthusiasm for Roosmav as my former friends have - and probably even more in common with them now than I ever did, as I have admitted to being able to find the appeal in everything - but I am just unable to do anything about it.

Another difference is that I have never been in a fandom where there was only one place to participate meaningfully in it. I know that something similar happened in the main Top Gun fandom, but there are enough IceMavs, Hangster, etc. to sustain content and conversation elsewhere.

There is nowhere else for Roosmav.

I don't think the people on there can even fathom this because they wake up and are able to see it everyday, their headcanons, etc.. I know many people on the server use it more as a friendship thing than even for Roosmav. I did once, too. I did spend the most time in the TC and chat channels (like I said, I really did believe I had made friends for life). Roosmav was the thing that we had in common, but I had viewed it as much as a friendship community as anyone else there.

But I see absolutely nothing now. I am completely blind.

The only positive is that I have discovered in isolation that I have probably always been a Rooster-fucker at heart. I did start out trying to do it because I felt horrible for me being the anti-bottom!Bradley person while I was on there - and I always did have a lot of latent fascination in it, which was why I read all those fics despite me having been so irrationally frightened of bottom!Bradley content (like I've said - actual mental illness) - but it turns out that it's likely the most natural thing for me. I do find Rooster more attractive than Maverick now, and I would personally like to rail the guy who I find more attractive (I will have Maverick do it for me because I have historically been a Roosmav). I really don't have a difference in the way I approach fandom than any of them, but I get that it's a me issue and not a content issue.

I keep talking because I still have an extremely difficult time processing it, even eight months later. It really felt like an unexpected death of a loved one for me - the abrupt loss of an entire community and my ability to ever participate in Roosmav - and it will always be difficult to come to terms with.

#R00smav

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urcharactersclasspect · 1 year

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what are some power dynamics that you think could happen beetween a Page of Heart, Sylph of Blood and Witch of Light?

also so sorry if this is not something you do .x.

I can easily see the Witch of Light and Page of Heart being inseparable best friends. Since I've actually seen that and its a pretty common friendship. Well, Depending on the general mental state of the witch.

And, well, Blood players are blood players. They'd probably be friends with them both regardless even if the two wanted to push each-other off a cliff one day. Which might sound like an extreme, but lets be honest with ourselves, once you cross someone with a Witch class they don't always go for the reasonable response regardless of Aspect attached.

Although, I personally don't think its very easy for Heart players and Light players to exactly get along very often. Its a bit of a rarity but it does and can happen, just very rough to get more of an explanation for in a deeper manner.

This is, on some level, because of how Light players typically are outwards about being themselves and don’t often have to really struggle with figuring things out on their own or simply being themselves naturally; probably in even more ways than they might think at first as they are self aware, and Heart players tend to struggle with truly being themselves without a MASSIVE amounts of internal and external conflict with themselves, with others, with the influence of outside forces, etc. Heart aspect is all about that identity crisis, and when they inverse its all about that indecision and the Mind Vs Emotions and a lot more complex stuff going on there. While the individual Light player might have something similar, its not quite in the same intense manner as a Heart player nor will it ever be in the exact same context of identity as a Heart player will have to deal with. This can cause certain personalities that are typically attributed between the two aspects to have a lot of friction against each-other. Kind of in a way, it depends on the Attachment style of the person/characters in question.

The heart aspect is all about the “self”. And Light is about having knowledge. When a Heart player is sitting with a lot of thoughts on if who they really are really is that, but a Light player who might have a cockier or more confident personality and seems to have it more figured out. That can definitely lead to mixed results. Pages are also, naturally insecure and have a difficult time getting their shit together to get to where they need to. Page of Heart is a decent class and can become a vital person to peoples self realizations, They just need to figure shit out to become useful on their teams for that purpose; They can help both the Sylph of Blood and Witch of Light find out more about their inner deeper selves over time. They could possibly grow with eachother very gracefully as a friendship. Or crash and burn horrifically and lead to a lot issues within a session at any given point.

With this in mind, it becomes more about the dynamics of the Heart and Light. As the blood player easily can befriend them both and possibly be a mediator or someone who gives both (often times unwanted) advice, and might be pushy about it or go the slightly wrong way about it but mean well too. The Witch might have complaints about what the Blood player is doing, but will know, to some degree, that the Sylph is correct. and The page might accidentally be super insightful on an emotional level with why things are proceeding the way they are, based on maybe Witch’s stubbornness on being wrong - the sylph’s tendency to smother others, or maybe even the pages naivety getting in the way.

Imagine how a witch of light and a page of heart might clash based on these factors. How would the Page decide to help the Witch? Would the Sylph be in between, take a “least destructive side” approach inside the chaos?

A Witch of Light would be domineering and try to do “whats best”, the sylph will push for a positive relationship for all three and a solution to the issues, and the Page might try and fail to prove they are emotionally smart enough to make theior own choices and take offense to both their attitudes - or maybe just the witch’s and have a tolerance for the Sylph’s.

#witch of light #page of heart #sylph of blood #incoherent rambles #classpects #Classpect Analysis

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tired-teacher-blog · 2 years

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Main Bnha Three with a Scarlet Witch S/O please?

Sure thing sweets I hope you enjoy it.

Title : Mha boys with a Scarlet Witch S/O

Characters : Katsuki/ Shouto/ Izuku

Genre : mostly fluffy/ a little angsty/ headcanons

Y/n's Quirk : Warping, teleportation, telekinesis, flight

Weakness : using your powers for extended periods of time without rest affects your mental status.

Note : Please keep in mind that Scarlet Witch is from a different universe which means that in order for y/n to possess similar powers, some changes need to be done to keep things as natural as possible. This is why I picked some of the original Witch's powers which can go together harmoniously without seeming like you have more than one quirk, and at the same time to reserve the originality of your character.

Masterlist

Second part with Dabi, Shinsou and Aizawa

Bakugo :

Possessing a quirk like yours made it hard for you to make friends growing up, the kids were intimidated and sometimes even scared of you. And you've made your peace with being alone most of the time, until you met Katsuki.

He approached you first -but not in a flirty manner- he was just admiring your quirk since he found it unique, and you were happy to have found someone to talk to.

He found you interesting and liked watching you using your quirk, and soon enough you two became joined at the hip.

It wasn't long before you two realized that your feelings were much greater than those of a friendship.

After you two became a couple, Katsuki was just the proudest guy to have someone as strong and as cool as you are in his life and by his side.

He would comfortably and happily admit that you are the only person who can easily kick his ass.

Your quirk allows you to understand and sense how people feel, and you use that whenever Katsuki has a hard time expressing himself to you or to others.

You have to be partnered up with him during missions because he feels like you two are capable of winning any fight if you're together.

Sometimes you get weak and emotionally drained after using your quirk for a long duration, and whenever something like that occurs, Katsuki is there for you.

He would leave the fight in the capable hands of his comrades and rushes to your side. The first thing he does is taking you away from the scene and to a more peaceful one.

He would allow you to cry or scream or even hit him, depending on how you're feeling at the moment. And once you've calmed down you'd apologize immediately and profusely, and his response is always the same, he smiles and kisses your tears away, reminding you that he will forever be by your side.

Shouto :

You two worked at the same agency for a while before you could even have the guts to approach one another. And even when that happened, it was because you were paired up in a mission.

Both of you are introverts, which is why it was a little awkward between you two at the beginning. You tried your hardest to come out of your shells and it was fun to watch you two struggle with regular small talks as opposed to your savagery during a fight.

You two are extremely powerful in your own unique way: his quirk is eye-catching and flashy, whereas yours is much more understated and subtle, which is why you two work perfectly together.

What started as comradery soon turned into something else, and your quirks were no longer the only thing you liked about each other.

Working side by side as a couple hasn't got so many differences from doing so as mere colleagues. That being said, there was one thing that actually changed in Shouto's behavior. He became a lot more concerned about your safety.

Having worked together for a while, he is familiar with how the unrestrained use of your quirk can affect your psyche, which is why he forces you to retreat as soon as he notices a change in your behavior.

Even so, there are times when he's a little too late to take notice of your state, in which case you find yourself swept up your feet and carried away to a safer place.

And it goes both ways, you use your quirk to ease his mind whenever things get rough especially with his family.

You understand when he needs your help because he walks up to you, takes your hands in his and places your palms on his cheeks, all the while looking deeply into your eyes. And it's like looking at a cute little puppy.

And you are greatly thankful that your quirk is able to ease your beloved's troubled mind, the way he's able to ease yours.

Izuku :

He was fascinated by you the moment you two were assigned to the same mission.

He approached you afterwards, bombarding you with questions about your quirk and about the way you use it.

He told you that the type of quirk you two have is somewhat the same, as he possesses One For All which is a stockpile of numerous quirks, and you possess multiple powers yourself.

Seeing him speaking enthusiastically made your heart flutter. He was probably the first person to not only speak to you casually, but also admire your powers.

You learned that -he too- was kind of a loner growing up. And when people avoided you because they were scared of your quirk, they avoided him because he was quirkless before receiving One For All.

Growing up, everyone around you constantly insisted that the powers you have are perfect for a villain. And at some point you believed it yourself, but Izuku helped you restore your confidence after years of self doubt caused by your quirk.

You became his shadow ever since then, and he found it cute how you kept following him around everywhere he goes.

You were the first to declare your love to him, but it took you a while to actually gather up your courage and stutter your confession. Thankfully, he too had the same feelings for you and was ecstatic hearing you shyly talk about your love for him. That day was the day you shared your first kiss, and that is something you will never forget.

You are always there for one another, during missions and whatnot. Both of your quirks can leave you overburden and mentally exhausted, and it's up to the other person to stabilize the one in need.

You are each other's number one fan, and each other's favorite person, so you make sure to remind the other of that.

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amnesia-yourself · 3 years

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It starts on a game night unlike any other, because this time, in what Kara is narrating to the bored audience of three as the plot twist of the century, Lena is losing.

Lena, Kara realized very early on in their friendship, is extremely serious about game night. She will not play Monopoly unless everyone promises not to tap out out of boredom. The vein in her forehead will throb when paired with Brainy for charades. She will dust off her yoga mat the day before to stretch her muscles for twister.

All this is to say that Lena hates, hates, losing. If there is one thing that she hates even more, it’s losing in front of an audience- and not just any audience, but Nia, Sam, and Winn, who will tease her mercilessly for it.

Alex is rapidly draining Lena’s money from the plethora of traintracks which Lena, by some ill stroke of luck, keeps landing on over and over again, having to pay 200 dollars each time, and she wastes no energy trying to hide her smug delight, her evil cackling rivalling Lex’s. Lena’s all huffy and annoyed despite her best attempts to hide it when she finally succumbs into bankruptcy.

“Aw, it’s okay baby.” Kara throws an arm around Lena’s shoulder to pull her in for a sidehug, but Lena doesn’t melt into it- instead she stiffens, aiming a deeply unsettling glare at Kara.

“Do not call me that.”

Sam is now openly laughing at Lena’s lousy sportsmanship and Winn is doing some sort of jig with a wicked grin. Kara, for her part, can not for the life of her remember whether she’s called Lena baby before now.

A part of her is sure that she has, and that Lena had taken it well- lit up, even, and gone soft in that play-reluctant way of hers that Kara loves. But the other part, the forgetful one, the one that had been daydreaming of scenarios similar to this one for years before Lena and her recently started dating, isn’t so sure.

No petnames, noted, she thinks, and soon forgets about it.

Lena’s bruised ego is soothed by her subsequent wins in pictionary and hungry hippo, and she ends up eagerly staying over. They have a wonderful night, and a wonderful morning. It’s a flurry of heartbearts and all those feelings that people attribute to the honeymoon phase but which Kara thinks will probably be for forever, because she’s been getting the same butterflies since the day she met Lena all those years ago.

So it’s really odd when, sometime during Lena’s stay, her mood shifts.

It’s not the first time it’s happened. Usually if she’s bothered by something serious she tries to hide it and act like nothing’s wrong, but when it’s something silly, like starting the day with a bad cup of coffee, or Andrea missing one of their weekly lunches, it renders her heavy footed, frowny, silently begging for Kara to ask what is wrong and fix it with a hug or a forehead kiss.

Kara is bemused and half worried that Lena’s heavy steps would break that one rickety floorboard in her kitchen. She approaches Lena from behind and molds herself to her back.

Lena melts, her grip on the tea box easing. Kara’s heart starts fluttering rapidly the way it’s been doing each time they’re physically close. “Tell me what’s wrong,” she says.

Lena’s grip tightens around the tea bag like she’s gathering the strength to send her away. Kara sneaks her hand under her shirt, warm hand splaying over her tummy. She kisses the back of her neck, nuzzling the skin. “Tell me. Please?”

Lena turns around and kisses her. Kara doesn’t so much allow herself to be distracted by it as she is swept into it. Lena tastes like the tea she was replenishing, feels like heaven, and before Kara knows it she has Lena perched on the counter and is pressing herself as closely as she can between her legs, sucking the last hint of sweetness straight off Lena’s tongue.

Her brain catches up and she pulls back, fingers gently weaving through Lena’s hair to stop her from following. It takes a few more kisses and soft touches to coax the answer out of Lena, and when it finally comes it’s so sweet- Kara will never forget the shy drag of Lena’s nose along her cheek where she chose to hide her face, or the agonizing preciousness of having to urge the words out of her, or the way she made Kara’s heart flip-flop in her chest in a display that would’ve been the highlight of the Olympics.

“What did you say?” Kara asks, and Lena whines at having to repeat herself.

“You stopped calling me baby.”

Kara knew it. She knew Lena loved it when she called her that, but the vehemence with which Lena reacted to it on game night confused her.

“I thought you hated it?”

Lena’s nail scratches down Kara’s shoulder, slipping under her collar. “Not when we’re alone.”

Kara grins. She loves having like Lena like this- more bossy, more affectionate, more playful, more everything that Kara loves about her. It’s as if she’s finally getting to see the full scope of Lena Luthor. She knows that it’s harder for Lena to show her good side than it is her bad, and she is honored, so honored.

“Just for me?” she asks, teasing, and Lena huffs, her expression souring.

One baby is all it takes to fix it. Kara adds an I love you for extra measures.

#y’all i couldnt figure out how to add the continue reading thing exqueeze me #its a thinking abt grumpy girls who’re just trying to get ur affection typa day #like stop i will fall in love with u #& so Baby Lena Luthor strikes again #supercorp #supercorp fic #mine

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jillianallen14 · 3 years

Text

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit: Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside: Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know: AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations: First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol.

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves: The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans: The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one.

The Ren shat’var Trilogy: A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction: Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman: Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas: While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After: Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny.

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home): In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities: Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock.

A Habitual Affection: Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one.

Atlas: Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

#spirk #spock #kirk #james t kirk #spock/kirk #kirk/spock #star trek #star trek tos #star trek aos #space husbands #spirk fanfic recs #spirk fanfic

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writingssummit · 3 years

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Hi I just read you’re tsukishima story and it was so cute omg but I have an idea

Let’s say y/n has a huge crush on tsukishima since they were children right. But tsukishima never rlly liked y/n in that way. So he would always like be kinda aggressive but like not in the physical way, like he would be cold to her whenever y/n would constantly say something abt them dating. In reality he did like her but he didn’t realize it. Then suddenly a new guy shows up, he’s like really handsome and he’s in a small band, he plays the bass. Y/n actually listens to that band and she was so excited so the two of them click really easy, that’s when she starts being distant with tsukishima and stops the talks abt them dating, tsukishima starts to miss everything y/n would say to him and he wanted to get y/n back, but when he tries he sees y/n and the guy sharing a peck 😔‼️ sorry if this was longgggg ugh

a/n: ahhh! I’m glad you thought so, haha! don’t worry about the length, specifics are always welcome! <3 this is a really good idea! i think it ended up on the longer side, but yk, more content is good? i also ended up naming him, so it’s easier to refer to him. i keep holding on to highschool settings i’m sorry LMAO- i haven’t finished season 4 and i’m not reading the manga yet :( but anyways, here’s a bit of angst/unrequited love to balance out my recent fluff posts !

asks/requests: open !

word count: 2.6k

warnings?: some angst/unrequited love

worth a try.

- TSUKISHIMA KEI -

growing up with tsukishima had been a whirlwind of experiences. ever since you had moved and transferred to his school the last year of primary school, you’d been drawn to him. the tall, blonde kid with glasses. you found his pride in volleyball admirable, and you even found him to be so much cooler than you ever would be.

you originally didn’t know anybody when you first moved, but you fit right in with both tsukishima and his own friend. it was a strange combination, but it worked somehow. while tsukishima was rude, and yamaguchi timid, you were loud and energetic. you were lively. you challenged him just for the fun of it, you poked and prodded, just having fun being around him.

you were his self-declared best friend.

looking back on it, you probably always had feelings for tsukishima. back in those days when you tried to get into volleyball yourself. wanting to be like him, you tried your best, but you weren’t all that good. he would make fun of you for it, but you weren’t bothered by settling for being supportive of him and your freckled friend. You were just as passionate as they were about it.

you were even there when that passion jaded. watched as he stared at his brother from across the game.

it was when you started junior high, that you came to the conclusion that you were in love with your friend. but unlike most people, you did nothing to hide it. why would you? you were always open, always honest and straight to the point. you just weren’t one to hide that.

“go out with me, tsukki!” you poked his side with a cheeky grin, your eyes bright. your friend wasted no time in rejecting you.

“no.”

“aw, you sure?”

“i would never date somebody so stupidly annoying.” you shook off the blatant insult, laughing instead with your hand on your neck. a small thing you picked up from your other friend. yamaguchi.

“you’ll come around one day!”

“i doubt that.”

it went on like that all throughout your remaining years until high school. a constant back and forth that became a schedule at that point.

it was decided that tsukishima would be going to karasuno, as would yamaguchi. and so would you. you would go where they go, you’d never thought about leaving them both. you’d stay with them as long as possible, holding on to their friendship like it was your lifeline..

and holding onto tsukishima even more so.

you were there with them on the first day, when they joined volleyball club. that first practice match against aoba johsai.

you weren’t always watching their practices, since you had your own club duties to attend to of course. but you always made sure to stop by the clubroom while the boys were getting ready, just to say hi to everyone and to a certain someone.

“hey, hey!” you poked your head from around the door, waving a hand. the team greeted you cheerfully enough, minus tsukishima. who looked annoyed to no end.

“tsukki, wanna go grab something to eat after your practice? i know a really great spot!”

he didn’t even look at you, only giving you the middle finger.

you laughed, shrugging. “worth a try.”

the first time the team had witnessed your very forward approach to asking the extremely salty and crude boy out, they were surprised. the way he turned you down so effortlessly too, threw them off. the added shock of anybody even liking him was the cherry on top.

“is this normal?” sugawara asked, a chuckle falling from his lips. asahi was beside him, sweatdropping at the sight of your affectionate display, and tsukishima’s obvious lack of reciprocation.

yamaguchi smiled awkwardly, nodding. “well- yeah, actually. It’s been happening for years.”

“i’d kill to have somebody all over me like that! lucky bastard!” tanaka held his fist up dramatically, as if clenching his heart in it. he even had a tear in the corner of his eye.

“well then, i’ll be on my way! good practice, everyone!” you chirped, finally leaving them.

“l/n’s got some serious determination.” tanaka whistled.

“misplaced determination. they won’t shut up about dating, it’s annoying.” tsukishima didn’t sound as impressed as his loud senpai was.

yamaguchi tilted his head to the side. “really? i would’ve thought tha-”

“shut up.”

a small laugh. “sorry, tsukki.”

it would forever continue, it seemed like. you never thought you’d give it up, you always knew that you liked tsukishima. your heart would pound, your stomach would feel fluttery. but even though you’ve been with him since you were children, it didn’t seem like he’d grown to feel the same. it would get you down sometimes, his mean and harsh words whenever you’d bring it up. either casually, or intentionally.

you couldn’t help being so hopelessly whipped!

you were walking down the sidewalk with yamaguchi and tsukishima, humming along to a new song that had been dropped recently. you were so into it, strumming your fingers like you were the one playing in the recording. tsukishima watched you with critical eyes, but yamaguchi watched as if this was entertaining.

“new song, l/n?” yamaguchi asked you, and you paused the music. you nodded right away, grinning.

“yeah! there’s this kind of new band I found a bit ago, i think around the time you guys met nekoma for that first practice match? their music is so cool!” you could go on and on about them, to be honest. they may be small, and very underground, but you liked them anyways.

“wahh, they sound cool- right, tsukki?” yamaguchi and you both looked behind at him, faces expecting the same sentiment.

he only scoffed.

you roll your eyes playfully, sidling up to him for the first time today. “you want to go get some ice cream, tsukki?” you wished, hoped for him to just say yes for once. your heart was begging at this point.

“get out of my face, l/n.” he said coldly.

with a defeated sigh, you walked a few steps quicker, before unpausing the music. the humming resumed, and yamaguchi glanced back and forth between you both with a weary expression.

“you could try to be a bit nicer, tsukki-”

“they can’t take a damn hint, it’s not my job to be nice about it.” He said stubbornly.

yamaguchi sighed himself, nodding along. there wasn’t a point in continuing the topic; he always shut it down whenever yamaguchi brought it up. he’s never been so aggressive about something before.

interhigh had come, taking up your friend’s time with it. you were upset that they’d be so busy now, but with the new tournament coming, came a new student.

he was friendly, and cheerful, and honestly probably one of the most charming people you’ve ever met in your life. he even looked familiar to you, like you’ve seen him somewhere before. you couldn’t figure it out, so you just opted to the conclusion you must have just passed him down the street at some point. or some strange case of deja vu? either way, he was in your class now.

you were just coming back from the bathroom, your earbuds plugged into your ears like they usually were nowadays.

“l/n, please take your earbuds out, it’s class time.” iour teacher scolded you gently, and you pouted a little. It was just getting to a good part-

you had tugged on them a little too hard, and instead of just getting them out of your ears, they came out of the headphone jack completely.

you were embarrassed as your new favorite band’s music started blasting out of the phone’s speakers, and you hurried to turn it off. You were blushing, laughing at yourself as you went to go sit back down.

ahh, dang! everyone heard that! you were just laughing at yourself in your head now.

there was a tap on your desk, and you turned your face towards the hand. it was the new kid, and his face looked bright.

“you listen to my band’s music?” he whispered to you, his face beaming, and you gasped quietly.

“is this you?” you pointed at your pocket, where your phone rested. he nodded.

“that’s so- wow, i go to school with one of the people in my favo-”

“l/n, do you have something to say about the lecture?”

you shook your head violently, holding back a huge grin. “n-no, miss!” your teacher sighed, and continued past the interruption.

the looks you both shared didn’t go unnoticed by tsukishima.

everyday now, you were hanging around the new kid. you had come to learn his name, which was ishiwaka teruo. you both had hit it off instantly, it was like you guys had known each other forever, and not just a few weeks. it was almost like some crazy twist of fate, or luck. you guys were both alike in a lot of ways, held similar passions, too.

“see you, ishi!” you waved a hand, grinning as he waved a goodbye back. you guys didn’t take the same way home, so he ended up leaving the opposite direction, while you walked with tsukishima and yamaguchi. you were humming again, one of ishiwaka’s band’s songs.

“you seem pretty happy, l/n.” yamaguchi chuckled, watching as you danced a little.

“oh yeah, you bet! ishi actually invited me to sit in for one of his practices, isn’t that so cool? he plays the bass, and he even offered to teach me a few chords. i don’t really mess with instruments, but-”

“can you shut up about him? all you do is just yap on and on about this guy, hanging out with him isn’t enough for you? what’s so special anyways?” his tone was harsh, and condescending. “if you’re just going to talk about him all the time, i’m not walking with you guys anymore.” your eyes widened as soon as you heard what tsukishima had just said. your heart was pounding, like it had been caught in the act of something terrible. you even felt slightly ashamed.

“wow, nice, tsukki. sorry for being excited about something.” you muttered, clutching your bag straps tight. what did you expect at this point? he didn’t like you as much as you thought, if he was so ready to just leave you behind. yamaguchi sensed the tension between you both, which made him uncomfortable.

you were all quiet for the rest of the way home.

interhigh came and went, the loss against aoba johsai stung the volleyball team, leaving their spirits broken, and cracked. you hadn’t been to the game that day, busy with a certain band member. and your missing presence hadn’t been looked over.

“where were you?” tsukishima had confronted you in the hallways, while you were walking with ishiwaka to the water fountain. it was break, which meant he could freely talk to you now.

you looked away from him, a nervous air around you that wasn’t like you at all.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t make it, tsukki- i heard that you guys lost, and i’m really sorry i couldn’t have been there!” your words were careful and slow, like you were thinking on how to say the right thing to him.

the blonde closed his eyes, and looked off to the side. he didn’t look pleased in the slightest. “were you with your precious band member? like some kind of groupie.”

ishiwaka raised an eyebrow, and you just shook your head. tsukishima was really doing this right now? you said sorry, what else were you supposed to say?

“you know what, yeah. i was with him. it’s not like..it’s not like i have to be around you or yamaguchi every second of the day, okay?” you sighed. “look, i’ll make it to your next practice, and skip my club activities. is that fine?”

he hesitated, before giving you a curt nod. you smiled in relief. “great! i’ll see you then. now, about that specific measure-”

you had left him behind, and tsukishima had been hit with a realization.

you hadn’t mentioned going on a date at all. not today, not even within the past few weeks. was something wrong with you? he’d gotten so used to that, but now even that wasn’t a constant.

it was like you were slipping away from him, day by day.

and he realized that he didn’t like that.

as the days went on, thoughts about this ran rampant through his mind. it was maddening, he was trying to focus on school, and now, as he was walking to the clubroom, volleyball. he was scarily silent, and yamaguchi caught onto it right away.

“tsukki?” he asked quietly, not wanting to push. but he wanted to know. ever since tsukishima had come back from break that day, he’d been acting strange. he was even saltier, if that was possible.

“am i not enough for l/n?” he spit out the question, like it was a disease.

taken aback, the freckled boy could only blink. the two stopped walking, looking right at each other now. “what?”

tsukishima barked out a laugh, running a hand over his face in frustration. “you heard me, yamaguchi.”

yamaguchi’s jaw dropped. “do you miss them?” was he for real? was this jealousy actually coming from tsukishima?

“hell if i know.” he muttered. but he knew the answer, and that’s what upset him.

“i knew it. tsukki, why did it have to be now, though?” he shook his head in disbelief. at the utter obliviousness of this boy. yamaguchi knew himself that there was something there in tsukishima, something resembling feelings for you. but of course it was when you were no longer always around that he saw it.

“what?”

“l/n isn’t a puppy anymore, they’re not following after you. if you haven’t noticed, they’ve given up. you need to do this yourself, and fix it.” yamaguchi stated. he wouldn’t be lying if he said that he’d been frustrated with the back and forth between you both, it was so obvious to him, but apparently not obvious to tsukishima. or you, for that matter.

“i know that.” he muttered. he would have to confront you about this. was he stupid? why didn’t he get this before?

“then do something about it.”

tsukishima was quiet.

it was decided by him that he’d catch you outside of practice, since you said you’d be coming to watch. it was a quick, and impulsive decision from him, but he needed this to be figured out. his head was at it’s most unclear, and that was affecting him.

you were affecting him.

he looked around the outside of the gym, trying to see if he could spot you coming. it took a minute, before he saw a figure off to the side. it was you, he could tell by that bag anywhere. he stepped out, only to be met with the full picture.

you were with ishiwaka, and you were kissing him.

tsukishima hurried back into the gym with a stone-cold expression. oh. so this is where he stood now.

no longer at the top of your list, no longer important.

you walked into the gym, beaming. it angered tsukishima, more than he should have been. he yanked your arm, and held you by them with a vice grip. you looked up at your friend with nervous, maybe even scared eyes. you hadn’t seen tsukishima like this before.

“what is he to you?”

you blinked. “wh-what?”

“who is he to you? that little bass player.” his eyes were searching yours, for anything, anything that he could hold on to. you didn’t respond, only looking away from his intense stare.

your eyes didn’t hold that same look that they used to whenever you looked at him.

he had his answer. and he didn’t like it. so he let go of you, maybe for real this time. things had changed so much, right under his nose. and he had let it happen.

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader angst #tsukishima x reader angst

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years

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Family member anon, here I go.

S/o visiting with Ron and they friend bob for chaotic day, only some peoples have a ability to break the fourth wall including Ron and bob but Ron s/o have the ability to escape this game to visit irl. During totality not stealing bob and bossip place during Ron talking about want to escape this “game” Ron s/o felt bad and didn’t know Ron feels, after Ron song is over s/o decided to bring Ron with them. Before Ron hit by a car ron s/o teleport with Ron to escape this “game” and saved Ron from a random car, Ron is happy with s/o and finally in peace until returning the “game” to invite bob for a relaxed time

Ohh I love this! Ik Ron's dialogue at that part is all jokes but I can make angst out of that :)

..........

"So lemme get this straight-"

"I'm totally straight, haha."

"Would you be serious for ONCE in your life?!!"

"Bob, be nice."

"...fine. Anyways, you got fourth-wall powers like us?"

"Yeah, and then some." You shrugged at the white blob, smiling.

It was true. You were among the few individuals who were self-aware of the fact they're in a popular rhythm game called Friday Night Funkin', especially the mod universe. But you hailed from the outside world, where it was only seen as a game and nothing more.

Despite this barrier you've made a lot of friendships, and found love in the folderhead, of all people.

When you realized him and Bob infiltrated a mod called "VS Bob and Bosip" and turned it into a "Bob's Takeover" update, you decided to visit them.

You've met the stars of the original mod before the update, learning they were also self-aware as they tried getting to The End of Minecraft and ended up in this game instead.

After mentioning them, Bob had a plan to rap battle the pair, joking about wanting to earn the rightful title of "Bob". And he wanted Ron to accompany him for unknown reasons, but you didn't mind. You figured they moved past their rivalry from Bob's own mod.

So you hung out at a different section of the park, finding some other people to sing with.

One of those ended up being Keith and Cherry, but you still referred to them as "Boyfriend" and "Girlfriend" often. They didn't possess the level of self-awareness that you did, but Keith wanted to challenge you and you happily obliged.

It was an easy battle for the most part, but the moment you finished, Cherry noticed two figures rapidly approaching:

Bob but in a yellow shirt with the word "Gloopie" on it and a blue wig, and Ron wearing attire similar to Bosip's, a spiky yellow wig included.

As they recognized who you were with, they began acting unusually out-of-character, with Bob spewing violent threats to Keith and forcing him into another rap battle. Ron looked traumatized, as though he didn't get a choice to put on this outfit.

You wondered what was wrong until he finally broke down when Bob finished singing.

"You know me, right? I'm Ron. I was featured in the mod "Literally Every FNF Mod Ever"...VS Bob? You gotta remember that, right?!" His hands shook as he stared at the blue-haired singer, who seemed clueless.

"Ron?" You were worried, assuming he was having some sort of existential crisis. "You okay?"

"I was murdered..and stabbed. My body was used for satisfaction by Bob..and....I-I was tortured for years on end." He stammered over his words as he turned to you with tears in his eyes.

Unfortunately your suspicion was correct. According to Ron, he truly did die in that mod, only to be revived by real-world forces and used as a "puppet" for likes and fame. The fact he couldn't live a normal life with you and was trapped in this stupid game felt like an eternal punishment for him.

You had no idea he felt this way all along, or how he came to be self-aware on such an extreme level.

Had you known sooner....you felt so guilty.

"I can't do this..I CAN'T!! GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING TORTURE!!" Ron pulled at his wig, which to stuck to him like real hair. "[Y/n]..I-I can't take this..GET ME OUT OF HERE!!" He grabbed your shoulders, panicking and sobbing. "I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!!"

"Ron, Ron...it'll be okay." You hugged him closely. "I overheard Bob and Bosip say they had to sing to get out of this game. How about we try that, hm?"

Sniffling, he nodded and muttered an "okay", perking up as he spun around to face Keith. He seemed wildly concerned about both Ron's odd speech and sudden mood swings, but forced a smile upon seeing that he was about to be challenged.

"Rap battle?"

"Okay."

As bizarre as Ron's song was, it was quite catchy and amusing to say the least. Though even with all his craziness, he remained no match for Keith.

"Unfair! I didn't have a 4th-wall break meltdown for nothing!" Ron threw his microphone to the ground in defeat as the music stopped.

"You did your best, though." You tried staying optimistic, but Bob just snickered and Keith just rolled his eyes and left with his girlfriend.

A few moments later Ron stormed out into the middle of the street in a fit of anger, and your eyes widened as you saw a car speeding down the road.

"LOOK OUT!!"

"Huh?"

You decided to use your powers and take his hand, teleporting you both out of the game seconds before the car could hit either of you, leaving a Bob-disguised Bob all alone.

"..where the fuck did they-"

...........

"Oof..where are we?"

"Uh...my room." Helping Ron stand up, you smiled and pointed to your computer. "See? Your icon on the mod's main menu is blank. You're outta there finally."

He stared at the screen for a second, perplexed by what just happened. But then he looked all around your room as the realization finally hit him.

He was in your world. Actual reality.

Finally free.

"FREEDOM AT LAST!!!" He spun around and embraced you, his smile stretching to the edges of his head. "This is so pog, oh my god oh my god."

You chuckled and hugged him as well, relieved that you were able to save his life and bring him to your world. After hearing what he's been through, you knew he needed this.

"So now that we're outta there..can I ask what's with the whole Bosip getup?"

"Oh..right." He blushed as he stepped back and looked towards a nearby mirror. "I thought it would make me look cool and distract me from the agony of my own self-awareness. Sorry if I scared ya back there."

"Don't worry, I understand. You look cool in any outfit." You chuckled, before another thought occured to you. "By the way, Ron?"

"Ye?"

"After Bob calms down maybe we can...go back in the game and fetch him so he can get a taste of the real world, too."

"..........."

"....you can do that?? We should probably find Little Man, while we're at it."

"I don't think he's as self-aware as his dad yet-"

"Oh don't worry. He's 27 so he knows."

".......wait he's almost THIRTY?!!"

#clanask #family member anon #fnf x reader #friday night funkin x reader #fnf ron x reader #ron x reader

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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Hey! I hope you're well. I started watching AOT and realized that levihan was a ship. And after reading the manga Ive come to the conclusion that they were more than friends if not just friends. Mostly because I saw Levi act with Isabella, a friend and a sister of sorts even Farlan. But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more. He was a different Levi with her. All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her? And when was the moment he fell for her or decided to befriend her that way that yes I will tease this person from now on. At first I thought its because of how they met maybe but their first meeting was so sweet. Hange seemed impressed by him and he even thanked her for her compliments. I didnt think their interaction would lead to something like this. So what are your thoughts because I wonder alot on this. Over what would have attracted Levi to hange. My sister also watched it and she theorizes that its Levi who liked her and Hange was too much in love with titans to notice. Also can someone pls tell me why Levi looks at her that way in aot 4 when hange meets the kids with him and says if they dont understand us we'll meet them and teach them. Like. What happened?

Anon,

This is such an interesting ask. Apologies for taking my sweet time with this. I’m currently a mess rn, (as if I’m not everyday but I try).

All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her?

Okay this is actually an easy question to answer and I’m pretty sure this has been touched upon already in multiple children’s and young adult books.

There are certain people when faced with attraction or first love who tend to clam up while still inexperienced. Attraction for people who aren't used to it tends to feel like frustration or a certain need to get someone’s attention and because of that, some people release it as unnecessary sass or hostility towards someone.

I mean it’s been mentioned countless times before that the opposite of love isn’t hate. It's apathy. Love and hate aren’t so different from each other because whether you love or hate someone, that person takes up brain space, that person has power over their haters and their lovers.

That’s why I think, if this is the first time Levi particularly felt attracted to someone, to Hange, maybe he would end up manifesting those types of emotions like he did in the initial parts of the story. He wouldn’t know if it’s attraction yet, he wouldn’t even think it was this need to make friends with her.

Maybe he ended up letting it out as just some sort of whack way because it was his first time feeling that way for someone and the only important thing is he did get her attention and he did get to talk to her.

I wrote about this in my fic Passion Project.

What are your thoughts because I wonder alot on this. Over what would have attracted Levi to hange.

There are multiple reasons why Levi would be attracted to Hange.

She was the first person in the underground to approach him, Isabel and Farlan and actually treat them like people

They ended up working closely together. They’re stationed nearby and this is a convenient place for a friendship to bloom, maybe even a romance with the right circumstances.

Hange is extremely laid back, I honestly think that even if their personalities did clash, she ended up pulling Levi out of his shell somehow by challenging his own values.

The fact that they are forced to work closely with each other while being complete opposites with a different sets off values gave them a good setting to build something. At the same time they have a similar set of fundamental beliefs and paired with clashing personalities actually gives them a really good grounds for a romance to develop because they each constantly have someone challenging their values and beliefs in all fronts but at the same time, when they dig deep enough, they realize they're not so different.

Number four is pretty much my favorite way to explore Levihan romances and is one of the reasons I prefer it more than other pairings. I prefer seeing relationships where people are forced to work together and change, adjust and grow in the process of getting to know each other since their beliefs and their personalities are constantly challenged.

And why did Levi stare at Hange like that when she suggested they go to Marley? ;)

Well, they were the only vets left, they are forced to work more closely together. They only have each other. I’m 99% sure their relationship has developed at that time. Romantically or Platonically? That’s up to the reader but either way, I think their relationship experienced substantial growth during that time.

#levihan #meta

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the-ghost-king · 3 years

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love seeing ur tags on my posts it means i get to think 🥰🥰 anyway mostly agree but at least to me nico’s constant need to prove himself is a sign of feeling like he’s not worth other people’s time and effort and he has to MAKE himself worth it. he does all he can in the hopes that people will notice him and tell him that he’s good enough because he relies on the approval of people he loves. he thinks love is something conditional for him and that he always has to be earning it because he doesn’t have enough worth to have it just granted to him. again this is more my own interpretation of his character and possibly a bit of projection

(Post)

I will not fail to acknowledge that I might also be projecting somewhat onto Nico, what is media but self reflection? I think there's a couple ways you can see Nico that are canonically "correct"

What I personally think happened with Nico is that he was aware he was worth more than the treatment he was receiving, but because so much rejection occurred he eventually just assumed he was the problem. There's things on this I would rewrite now but it holds up okay in what I'm about to try and explain.

The thing about being rejected is that the first time you argue it's the other person. And the second time you'll argue it's still them. If you're still arguing it's other people the third time, maybe but it's thin ice... But eventually you just have to accept that you're at fault.

I think this is something that really describes Nico. He is never able to nestle himself in the comfort of sameness after a certain point. He is not given authority in his own story in the beginning, he is thrust into solitude, he is told he is a monster already and if not then he has no choice but to become one.

And he takes this blame upon himself, believing that it's him who has to prove himself. He doesn't acknowledge that maybe other people have their own biases against him, he says "I have to prove them wrong," and then does his best.

It's important to note that Nico is definitely grappling with Childhood Emotional Neglect, he's in a broken situation- and he recognizes that nobody wants him around, and that he's just more stress for an already stressed group of people, so he just backs down and starts to figure stuff out for himself. We see him accept some help and friendship from The Stolls in TTC but eventually he stops doing this at some point.

His leave from camp and time with Minos is when he is used:

you unknowingly wear your heart on your sleeve and people will see this and take advantage of your trusting nature and unconditional love and they’ll never really love you they’ll just see you as an easy tool to be manipulated and used how they see fit and you won’t recognize that this is a bad thing because you don’t believe you’re worth anything more than this

This is something I would say is very true about this time period of Nico's life. Minos emotionally exploits Nico, emotional neglect and abuse (possibly physical abuse, who knows) are defining characteristics of their interactions. Nico talks about how Minos will just randomly leave him for extremely long periods with no assistance, and about how when he's around he's always telling Nico to try harder, to do better, do more. Note the time he tells Nico "you have no power over me", he's definitely holding things over Nico's head. I don't think it's wrong to assume comfort is a part of that, Nico is alone all the time at this point, and I'm sure he's starved for touch, and support, and connection- and he will take whatever he can get whether or not it is good or right.

At first he doesn't do anything against this, and it might be because he was so starved for attention that he was willing to endure abuse to receive somewhat a consistent form of it. I also think there's some evidence that points to the idea Nico was getting something from Minos, training and similar stuff, it's possible he was willing to form and upkeep a toxic relationship with him in order to gain experience.

However, I do disagree with "and you won’t recognize that this is a bad thing because you don’t believe you’re worth anything more than this" because Nico does realize eventually that his situation isn't sustainable and that he has to do something- so he takes his narrative back into his own hands:

“Minos laughed. "You have no power over me. I am the god of spirits! The ghost king!" "No." Nico drew his sword. "I am.” (X)

So Nico, if he ever thought he was worth the treatment of being used for someone elses personal gain, he definitely overcomes some of it here, if not all of it. Nico is manipulated and used for Minos's personal gain, but he recognizes that it's not sustainable and makes a stand for himself. And this is the first time in the series where Nico truly is able to take control of his own narrative, everything before this moment is Nico being forced, or Nico with something looming over him, Nico crowning himself is him claiming his story.

So let's consider Hades in all of this, I don't think Hades manipulated Nico to the extent Minos did- but nonetheless, he did manipulate and abuse him, and this hurt Nico more than when Minos did it. Again, in the situation with Hades this is also true, "you unknowingly wear your heart on your sleeve and people will see this and take advantage of your trusting nature and unconditional love and they’ll never really love you they’ll just see you as an easy tool to be manipulated and used how they see fit and you won’t recognize that this is a bad thing". By the time Nico and Hades truly start interacting, we see that Nico's heart hasn't been fully removed from his sleeve, but it may have been lightened.

Here's the thing about the way Nico approached Hades, it's not naïve to trust family. The text in multiple places implies that Hades was around for at least a handful of years when Nico was a kid, it's not unlikely that Nico may have taken naps on his shoulder, held his hand to cross the street, maybe called him "Papa", "Dad", or "Tata" (Italian, English, old Greek). It makes sense that Nico goes to him, what doesn't make sense to Nico at first is that Hades would manipulate him. Unlike many of the other demigods, Nico knows he was a choice, and that at some point he was something wanted, so he expects some level of okay treatment from Hades. Hades loved his mother, and Hades if not wanting of Nico would have wanted Maria's wishes fulfilled, and Nico probably remembers Hades treating him warmly- or at least not harshly. The way Nico went to Hades makes sense, he wasn't expecting open arms surely, but he also wasn't expecting abuse.

Hades emotionally exploits Nico by using information about Maria, what would a little boy want more than the safety of his mother? He's so starved for human contact, who ever held him more than his mother? Who ever loved him more than her? Once Nico delivers Percy to Hades, his father crushes him, not only by harming Percy but by exploiting Nico's trust through Nico's mother- one of the things he's most desperate for.

We see Nico's heart come off his sleeve at this point, maybe not fully, but enough to where a stranger couldn't recognize it at first glance, and in a way where he has the means to hide it from most.

Except we don't see much of this, because the series is narrated by Percy- and Nico can't hide his heart from Percy.

Almost everything Nico does, everything he tries to do, is for Percy. Nico is so desperate for contact that he is pliant, but in Percy's hands Nico actually wants that contact, he's not interested in imitations of love or substitutes- he's looking for the real thing.

And Mr. Oblivious does-Annabeth-like-me Jackson isn't in any headspace to realize that a boy might like him, let alone Nico. This concern that Nico will join Luke, isn't entirely because Percy is misreading signals, but it's definitely part of it. Nico likes Percy so much that at one point he is willing to go to Tartarus if not entirely for him, then partially for him.

If Percy had realized, and rejected Nico- maybe he would have joined Luke, or at least he definitely would have been more likely to. The perception of Nico we get in PJO from Percy is unreliable, because Percy looks at Nico through the lenses of a concerned older brother, and Percy feels guilty in some way for the situation Nico is in. This gives not only a skewed, but slightly falsified narrative of who Nico is.

The original post of mine I linked, although yes, I would like to rewrite aspects of it now it holds up in the sense that Nico is always trying to prove himself, and this is a bit different than being a puppet. Nico is so starved that it is present in everything, @/arabnico gets it right:

nico’s longing is just so raw it consumes him whole and he cannot hide it at all because it reflects in absolutely everything he does and is nico’s just the means of the way for them and he settles for being it because he doesn’t think he can be much better or even deserves to it is sometting so twisted because nico has this innate utalitarian desire to be useful and to do something and to do the right thing but in the game of things he’s reduced to that puppet in the hands of fate and deities millennia older than him that see a wounded wandering soul doomed to be forever alone by a destiny so cruel it keeps him on his knees

Nico, in PJO especially, has little control over his own narrative. His mother is killed in punishment for his father's "wrongs", Nico is forced to endure this. Bianca grows tired of caring for Nico and leaves him behind, this is not Nico's fault but Nico is forced to endure the consequences of her actions. Bianca's fate is decided on a quest Nico isn't even able to go on, he is forced to endure the results. Nico then breaks the cycle, declaring himself The Ghost King, and dethroning Minos. Nico is forced to endure Hades's manipulation only because he did not see it coming, this wasn't an aspect in which Nico didn't have his narrative (he had already taken ownership of his narrative) but a blind spot in his rational.

The place where we vary is why Nico behaves this way, we can agree that it's because he's starving for human connection- but you believe it's because he has no confidence he is willing to submit himself, while I see his submission as an act of desperation.

Personally, I think to argue that Nico is like this as a result of lack of confidence does a disservice to his narrative (obviously it's fine to view him however you wish, and I wish you all the fun in doing so!). To boil this down to starvation and lack of confidence removes some level of Nico's autonomy in his own life, but also strips him of one of his strongest characteristics- those qualities of him which are like Orpheus.

Nico willing to go to the ends of the earth for love is not a weakness but a strength, his ability to carry on beyond the point in which he needs a rest is not a weakness but a sign of strength. His ability to go to the ends of the earth to right wrongs, and to show his love:

"... Cupid struck, slapping Nico sideways into a granite pedestal. Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work- a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you- especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards."

Cupid is explaining Nico's idea of love in this scene, we see Jason say he prefers Piper's idea of love- but Nico only knows love in the way cupid describes, working desperately for a few moments with Bianca, working just to hear any scrap of information about his mother, always trying to prove himself to Percy- to overcome the way he feels about Percy (and boys in general).

Nico has only known love as something you walk to the ends of the Earth for, but he never stops fighting to be loved and acknowledged. Lesser men would give up and lay down, accept they are unworthy, but Nico keeps pushing to be acknowledged and accepted- to be recognized and loved without having to walk to the end of the Earth, but Nico knows he has to walk to that edge and face it before unconditional love will come to him.

To imply that Nico seeks love the way he does because he's unconfident in his ability to receive love ignores the idea that he's had his life forced into this position because of the fates. It loses acknowledgment to the strength it takes to pick yourself up and walk to the end of the Earth time and time again, because if he was unconfident then he would eventually lay down and accept he shouldn't be loved ever again.

I don't think confidence doesn't play into this at all though, it definitely has some impact on Nico, he does view himself as inherently less (he is overly self sacrificial- think Tartarus :/), and he does try to remove himself from others:

You yourself said: you blame yourself for the way people have hurt you, taken advantage of you, and abandoned you. they exploit your love and your naïveté time and time again. you tell yourself, surely, there must be something wrong with you. because—you are convinced—that people are good. “if they hurt me, it is because i am flawed. it is because i am weak. people will always hurt me—even people i love. it’s an inevitable truth for me.” (X)

And this connects to what I said: "The thing about being rejected is that the first time you argue it's the other person. And the second time you'll argue it's still them. If you're still arguing it's other people the third time, maybe but it's thin ice... But eventually you just have to accept that you're at fault."

I do think there's a reason Nico makes himself so "utilitarian", because he hasn't been handed unconditional love since Bianca. But again we disagree on the why, I see Nico's behavior in his utilitarian example of love as caring, the way more people should be in love. Too many people see love as something given without restraint, and yeah, love should be unconditional but in order for love to be unconditional you have to do the work to lay good foundation. To be utilitarian in loving is not an act of weakness, or a symbol of lack of confidence, it is a showcase of more care in love than most have to offer. We care for things, and place value on them determined by how much love and care goes into those things.

I also don't see Nico's self blaming for what happened as flawed, it's logical in his situation, and a common result of CEN. This self blame shows care and kindness, and this coincides with Nico's arcs, "If I am bad, how do I improve? If I have no choice but to be evil, how do I still be good?". Nico is always fighting not to be recognized for good or bad, but to be recognized for what he is.

Trust is not naivety either, the only reason Nico is regarded as naïve is because of the extreme circumstances of his life. People shouldn't have to expect abuse from people who are supposed to love them, people should have to accept abuse in order to receive love. If Nico's life had turned out different, his naivety wouldn't be viewed as a weakness but a strength- a kindness.

We're not actually viewing Nico all that different, there's this space where his character blurs together, and it becomes an individual duty to determine at what point a flaw becomes a strength, and a strength a flaw. Nico's stubbornness is a flaw if we're thinking about grudges, but it's a strength in his work ethic. Nico's ability to stand on his own is a strength in terms of questing, but it's a flaw when it prevents him from experiencing love in fullness.

#asks #gayleafpool #idk the ending of this is shit but idk how to close ends so hopefully you understand anyhow #also i don't want this to come off as there's a right and wrong way to view something because that's not true #i was just trying to elaborate further on why i view nico a certain way #i can definitely see why you view him how you do #i think we're both definitely projecting a bit because we're both right in a flawed wya #*way #but what is the human mind but flawed?#uhh to tag or not to tag?#i'll tag #nico di angelo #pjo #long post

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deusluxuria · 3 years

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Headcanon: Jotaro Kujo: Hey Jupiter

(Warning: Stone Ocean spoilers, long-ass long post, serious as hell, eating disorder mention, smoking mention, child abuse implied, parent death)

(HC: Jotaro's wife's name: Kelly -- because i hate calling her just 'jotaro's wife' lol)

Jotaro & Kelly got along so well that people were shocked when they got divorced.

They seemed so comfortable with each other, were constantly joking around, and were excellent parents. All that despite both of them having previously thought they'd never find anyone who understood and respected them. They were both misfits.

They separated for Jolyne's sake, and they didn't get over the divorce for quite a while. It was extremely sad. Though, people who didn't know them very well made all kinds of horrible assumptions about why they got divorced. Which made it so much more painful.

Jolyne and her dad were close when Jolyne was a child. Jotaro had been looking forward to being a father one day, ever since he was a teenager. He had felt that was his purpose. He was prepared to be fully committed.

And when Jolyne came along, she was everything; the most important thing in the world. Jotaro finally understood everything his mother had felt for him and everything she'd endured for his sake. How emotional she would always get over every little thing Jotaro did.

But, eventually, Jotaro's gradually increasing distance from his family left Jolyne so hurt and angry that she never wanted any contact with him and she felt she could never forgive him. She felt she had lost her father long before he was actually separated from the family. She mourned the emotional loss of him.

Jotaro had made the mistake, from the very beginning, of constantly lying to Kelly and Jolyne, and being cagey about why he sometimes had to disappear -- he hadn't told them about Stands and how unavoidably dangerous it was to have one.

But no attacks or dangerous incidents had happened between the death of Dio, until the appearance of Kira Yoshikage.

So Jotaro never quite found out what he was in for, until after he had already gotten married and had Jolyne.

Kelly would ask him what was going on and where he kept running off to. Jotaro continued to reply, "I can't tell you."

Kelly knew Jotaro as well as she could, and was completely sure it wasn't something like an affair, or anything immoral like an involvement with the mafia. Not that it made her feel any better that it wasn't anything like that.

During Jolyne's preteen years (after she had gotten arrested at fourteen, and Jotaro couldn't be there), one day, Kelly and Jotaro mutually decided they couldn't go on like that and have that kind of tension in the house, especially with no one except Jotaro knowing what was going on.

Kelly had reminded him several times during their marriage, "I hate it when you don't talk to me."

Jotaro agreed that he wasn't going to put her and their daughter through that anymore.

Jotaro and Kelly remained friends, but not without an unbearable stretch of finding it too painful to spend time with each other. When they did hang out again, before saying goodbye, they would hug for a while in a manner as if they'd die if they let go. So many things reminded them of each other. If they had left something at one another's homes, they'd cling to that object.

Kelly had been the first person Jotaro had slept with who hadn't made him uncomfortable. (Before he met her, it took him a few awful experiences to learn that, to him, sex without love was a nightmare.) And she was the first to be open to understanding his approach to intimacy in general.

She was one of the few people who hadn't judged him as cold or emotionless because of the way he looked. She didn't make hasty assumptions.

And Jotaro had already been so tired of the closed-minded way people usually treated him. He believed that, if things didn't work out with Kelly and him, he'd finally give up at letting people in.

When they were together, Jotaro had done most of the housework, being the one who relies on a daily routine and who has the strongest need for things to be in order. But once he was on his own again, he had trouble finding a reason to keep his living space up to standard or to cook anything or pay attention to a schedule.

Shortly after the divorce, Holly died.

Kelly had already warned Jotaro that, of the two of them, he would suffer the most from their separation. Because he didn't connect with people very well. But he would've never expected himself to fall nearly as hard as he did, even if his mom hadn't died.

People at work who usually never even gave him a "how's your day going," started asking him if he was okay.

His meltdowns became different & more frequent from the ones he usually had (i.e. from Autistic sensory-overload). He would blurt out disturbingly honest things, only to regret it so badly later that he'd shut himself in the nearest isolated place and start sobbing.

He'd struggled with an eating disorder since he was a kid, but he had mostly survived it with his mom's cooking as the only thing he could always eat and keep down. As a teenager, smoking was added as another coping mechanism.

But, the emotional hell he was going through because of his separation from his family caused a particularly bad relapse. And Holly wasn't there to save him anymore. He lost an appalling amount of weight.

Holly's funeral was a nightmare, mostly at the fault of Jotaro's dad, who made a spectacle of it. Inviting his celebrity friends and turning it into a selfish exploitation that required his security guards to be in attendance.

Jotaro secretly established a small, quiet area behind the building for everyone else. Jolyne and Kelly were there.

Jotaro left many times just to sit in his car and smoke with trembling hands -- he had successfully quit smoking back when he and Kelly had decided to have a child (causing a heightened number of eating disorder relapses), but had skyrocketed to a pack a day after his mom died.

Something broke in him that day. He could feel it. Like a canyon suddenly formed in his soul.

The last time he went back to the funeral, he went inside the building, walked up to his dad, and started waling on him. People screamed. Jotaro got a few punches into his dad's face before Kelly stopped him, holding onto him from behind and leading him away.

Jotaro had told her a few things about his father before. But not everything.

Abdul was the only person Jotaro had told. And after that conversation, Mohammed was silent for a while, and then said, "If you ever need anything, anything at all, I'm a phone call away."

After Mohammed had died, Jotaro not only couldn't muster the energy to explain the situation to anyone else, but he didn't know anyone else he trusted that deeply. Mohammed had experienced similar trauma, and knew that depth of hopelessness. He was not only the other parent that Jotaro had always needed, but he had some of Holly's likeness, with his open heart and boundless compassion.

And there was Kakyoin as well. The only friend he'd ever had that he actually felt close to. The only friend he could say "I love you" to without it feeling strange. They'd had their misunderstandings and their peeves about each other, but they were absolutely best friends.

He never connected with people at quite that level again. His friends in Egypt had been more than family. Soulmates, in a sense. Though Jotaro did find love and friendship afterwards, something about it still felt trite in comparison.

Jotaro never really recovered from his crisis with his divorce and with Holly's death. A few months after Holly died, Jotaro got a gastrostomy tube for eating disorder recovery and got the color back in his face. He at least looked like he was doing better. And he had found at least some meaning again in his cherishing of Josuke, another family member he would die for in a heartbeat.

But the depth of his loneliness; the realization of just how alone he was, awakened a suffocating dread that gnawed at him.

(Title: "Hey Jupiter" is a soul-crushing breakup song by Tori Amos)

#this b/c i never ever finish fanfiction jfc #stone ocean #jotaro kujo #jolyne kujo #jolyne cujoh #jotaro's wife #headcanon #autistic!jotaro #holly kujo #stardust crusaders #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #demipan!jotaro

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ravenadottir · 3 years

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What do you think Kassam’s route would have been like if he had been one of the og boys, and how would his character have developed

my guy, i think i had a braingasm the moment i saw this ask! this is such a cool galaxy brain question, i can’t even...

‘cause i think so much about the possibility of kassam as an og, it’s actually ridiculous!! but in order to put him on day 1, i would have to put one of the boys in casa amor, and i’m choosing gary. that’s because lottie is gonna take interest in kassam right away. let me organize these thoughts in order of happenings in the villa...

♪ when mc steps outside, he’s lowkey interested, but he keeps his hands behind his back, only giving her a nod, accompanied by a smirk, when she says hi.

♪ “if any of you fancy me, please step forward.” kassam would be discreetly stepping forward, shooting her a neutral look, since he doesn’t want to come across as desperate, but a wink is also happening.

♪ “why did you step forward, kassam?” “i think we’re gonna hit it off, and you seem like a real sound girl.” bobby would say something like “ha! get it, because he’s a dj!” and laugh, but the prickly boy wouldn’t even look at him, focusing on mc.

♪ if mc chose to couple up with him, he would stand by her side, whispering his conversation, slightly analyzing the other boys.

♪ when lottie struts out, not gonna lie, he’s gonna think she’s attractive, but maybe a little intimidating. i do believe if she stole him (which i very much want to do here, since it’s an o.g kassam route), he’ll be standing next to her, but glancing at mc’s direction.

♪ the truth or dare challenge would probably be the opportunity to send him the picture, but if mc decided to kiss her partner i think that would “scare” kassam a bit. just because i don’t think he’s into p.d.a.

♪ he would have a lot of trouble relating/talking to anyone, because he automatically hates rocco, and for sure has some issues with how much rocco and bobby talk. which leads me to believe he would be closer to noah and ibrahim. (IT’S SO FREAKY TO THINK ABOUT THAT!!).

♪ priya is still gonna steal mc’s partner, which is not a big deal because she’s more interested in kassam than anyone else.

♪ kassam having more time in the villa means he’s also gonna open up to mc, eventually, and i think that’s what i wanted the most in casa amor. something to make us understand why he’s been closed up and extremely on edge at all times, like having the ear tick, the nerves, the quietness, if there’s anything to be talked about, mc would be person he would go to.

♪ music is probably what helps him relax, and right now he’s deprived of that, in every instance, so if the game wanted me to pay gems to bang some pots and do the glasses’ rim trick with him, i would a hundred percent be paying for that!

♪ bobby being musical himself would definitely blossom a connection between them. something that would make him a little fonder of cake boy. “i was wrong to judge you so fast, i guess.” and this could’ve been the “rap gang” throwback to season 1, having kassam doing beats, bobby doing the harmony, probably ibrahim rapping nonsense along with mc, and getting weird lines out of it! i would pay gems every time, i don’t care how much that would cost!

♪ as the recoupling approaches, kassam says he wants to couple up with us, but because bobby and he weren’t so close, the pastry chef has no idea of the dj’s intentions, proceeding to pick us.

♪ bobby’s choice forces kassam to choose between marisol and hannah, and going for the law student would be the obvious pick. but so much more awkward than gary’s was, because kassam wouldn’t try to hide the fact that he’s into someone else.

♪ marisol and kassam would be a friendship couple from the get go, because they have nothing in common, and that would probably make marisol realize her attraction towards rocco earlier.

♪ i do believe kassam would’ve been a cheeky sort, not the type that gary is, but definitely sneaking around to steal a kiss or two. “i don’t know what’s happening to me. i wouldn’t usually do this...” he smiles, almost not noticing it. “... but i feel close to you... it’s weird...”

“wow, kassam, thanks...”

“no, no i don’t mean like that... i’m just not used to it. you’re not the weird part of all this.”

“and what is?”

“me...” he proceeds to laugh uncomfortably.

♪ twitter bingo would have a fact about him, possibly a secret kiss, but it’s not revealed who he had it with.

♪ mr. love island. his “swimsuit” portion would be similar to lucas’, flexing his arms once he gets out of the pool, direct advice from noah, rahim and bobby. his talent would definitely include music in, possibly doing those beatbox tricks with two or three layers of sound... maybe even the low bass voice, which it’s honestly... SO FUCKING HOT. it would be a tough competition. between ibrahim doing the rubik’s cube trick shirtless, and kassam doing this... i don’t think noah or bobby would stand a chance!

♪ roccosol is still happening, and kassam is baffled by how much lottie is lying through her teeth, and shouting about the matter, since she was already talking to him behind rocco’s back. remember the welcome party for lucas and henrik? which would also mean kassam doesn’t take much heat from food/drinks, and that’s funny to me, for some reason!

♪ i do think instead of rahim, kassam would’ve been voted as “least dateable/leaving the show with a girlfriend. not endangered like lucas/henrik/rocco, but definitely voted. mc having the opportunity of the firepit conversation would end up in a kiss, and the angst is just taken on a new level!

♪ the date with him, before the recoupling on day 9, would be the chance we have to get to know him better, maybe having him tell us an embarrassing story about a gig he had. and if it was an ex’s story, even better! we don’t have that from him.

♪ hideaway scene, after the girls’ choice, would have him slightly less confident than he usually is. “i’m really excited to be here with you, i just don’t know exactly what to do.”

“i mean, if you don’t know, i don’t think i can get a biology book here.”

he would probably chuck a pillow in your direction and laugh at your joke. “i’m just nervous, i guess... i’m not used to feeling nervous around girls.”

♪ now! here’s the tricky part of the whole villa plotline in his route. operation nope. if mc went with it, he would end things, loudly and clearly, because he cannot stand betrayal, much less coming from the girl he spent so many days chasing. and he would probably advise MC to tell hope about it before it happened. kassam should be the type that breaks up with you and don’t want you back, later. i would definitely program him to act like that!

♪ drama to him is pointless, especially if it involves other people. he doesn’t see why people are being so out there about things, and definitely doesn’t understand why his girl has to be the one to solve everything. “i understand they’re upset but it’s not your job to fix it.”

♪ chelsea coming in, along with jakub, would irritate him to the extreme. the bomb she drops about him and lottie would have everyone riled up. YES, I WANT KASSAM TO KISS LOTTIE. they were coupled up before and he thinks she’s hot, besides the fact he was insecure about mc being picked by bobby. similar plot line to gary’s, except he might say something like “i had to know if there was anything there.” i really want him to explain himself here, but with short words: “we were coupled up just an hour before the recoupling. i wanted to make sure there was nothing there.”

“and...?” mc asks, staring at him.

he glances at lottie, shrugging. “there isn’t.”

♪ as revenge, mc would go on the date with jakub, resulting in kassam being apprehensive when it comes to talk about his feelings to her. and very angry and jealous, because that’s just who he is!

♪ the news about the recoupling arrive the night priya and hope are having that big fight, and yes, the bathroom scene happens with kassam, but he’s one of the boys that say the line “i want this to mean something to you”.

♪ disaster recoupling gets you both angry, and kassam would, for the first time, raise his voice, questioning jakub and the boy who steals mc. no, he wouldn’t be like the others and only question jakub or no one. at that point, everything is working against him, and just two days after mc finds out about the secret kiss, this is throwing him into a spiral of stress.

♪ casa amor gets everyone pissed off, and everything stays the same, except you get gary instead of kassam, and he’s interested in lottie and mc. (maybe the unicorn route wouldn’t happen). but casa days would’ve been way more interesting because now marisol and lottie are interested in the same guy! and in some cases, mc as well lol NOW, THAT WOULD’VE MADE CASA INTERESTING!

♪ cheeky the way gary is, he’s probably trying to stick with one girl by suggesting a kiss, sharing the bed and etc, but if mc is not interested in him, lottie would probably be torn about bringing him back or not, and marisol would get confused between gary and graham, proceeding to focus on fish boy, later.

♪ coming back from casa amor, kassam is single, and you get bean bags conversation, only with him he says how anxious he was for mc to come back. “i’m just... really glad you’re here. i...” he stammers a bit. “i missed you.”

“did you miss lottie too?” mc would raise her brows, slightly irritated.

“no, of course not! i missed...” realizing she’s being prickly, just like him, he continues. “har, har... very funny.”

“i didn’t think it was funny finding out you kissed her.”

“i wouldn’t think that either... i’m sorry i didn’t tell you.”

♪ the route is pretty much the same from there, except for a couple of moments:

one: the conversation we have with gary, by the pool, is held by kassam, and he talks about anxiety, and how that affected his relationships in the past. he didn’t know how much he missed out because he was too afraid of taking the leap, and he’s glad he’s in a better place now. also, talking about therapy and mental illness in the same tone gary did, with body issues.

two: he would make a comment of how excited he is to write songs about mc, and how much he has been thinking of his journey and the album he’s gonna dedicate to his time there.

♪ asking mc to be his girlfriend would go a little differently, since he’s not the blob of characterization he normally becomes in the game.

♪ he would continue to be prickly, and sarcastic, but his journey would’ve taught him how to trust people more, and the improbable friendships he developed there would go to show just how much he’s opening up, and how it can only get better from there.

♪ his speech, at the prom, would include his friends, mentioning them as the support system he had in there, just like one of the girls do with mc. “my journey wouldn’t have been the same if it wasn’t for you lads. and despite the bad advice i got, i guess everything worked out in the end.”

i really think kassam deserved a spot in the og’s line up, mostly because of how different he is from the other boys. he would probably have a brief friendship with lucas if the physiotherapist stayed, too.

hope this is what you were looking for. thank you so much for this ask!

#litg kassam #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue #alternative routes

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