#ok personal rant incoming sjhjdk sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

corpseprince · 2 years

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extremely annoying how i have a hyperspecific set of standards in my head that i not only need to match but also surpass before i consider myself "worthy" of certain friendships/relationships . best (worst) kind of self sabotage

#ok personal rant incoming sjhjdk sorry #like i NEED to be smart enough perceptive enough etc !!#i need 2 understand all that they could possibly say as well as offer the most insightful and valuable opinion possible at any given moment #when in all likelihood the person themselves is not cataloguing a list of my most big brained qualities in order to like me #whY am i setting MYSELF portions for something that doesnt require studying so much as courage and inherent interest (ONE of which i have)#and this isnt even how EYE view other ppl so . why do i feel the need to do it to myself #gripping sink staring into mirror repeating friendship is not a test friendship is not a test friendship is not a test. neurotypical moment #just realized the way i approach friendship is extremely similar to the way i approach the act of creating art .. as something aspirational #when the only way to ''get good'' so to speak is to actually DO it #reflections

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