If you run your community based on your inner cop, you will never have any true friends, just people you’re waiting to watch fuck up (or supposedly fuck up even if there’s no proof) & accuse them of whatever fits your narrative.

Had a dream last night that this old man told me jesus never died on the cross, that he was cursed to live forever among the poorest and most down-trodden people in the world, and nobody would believe his true identity. The man claimed that 50 years ago someone falsely accused jesus of sexual assault and he was forced to register as a sex offender.

Full disclosure: I'm not christian. I have never has any interest in joining the church and i still dont. But my country is full of people who are, and a great many of them use it to justify their shitty beliefs and behaviors and like. Isn't there a bible quote like "whatever you do to the lowest person you also do to me"? Like. Do you think anyone would still give a shit about jesus if he was a homeless man convicted of a crime he didn't commit?

it’s me, hi. i’m the problem, it’s me.

Okay so I've been wanting to tell you that you're literally my favourite twst artist 😭🩷

So my question is, how do you manage to come up with these funny comics? CUZ I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

(P.s: Lovin' the art style ✨)

oh geeze, thanks! 💚💚💚 I'm really glad people enjoy my stupid sense of humor; mostly I just draw things to make myself laugh, and if it makes other people laugh too, then bonus points! usually it's just one joke or mental image that gets stuck in my head (every time I saw Fellow spin his cane, all I could think about was him go-go-gadgeting away on it...) and in my quest to justify it, it picks up other jokes and bits along the way and usually doesn't even end up as the main focus anymore. entire narrative arcs have spun out just so I could use a single bad pun in a throwaway line. this is a terrible way to explain it but I'm not sure how else to put it into words!

and sometimes it's just "weird things my sister has said that I make fun of her for"

one thing about ik is that she will always reach out

MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.

(Part 2)

thinking about mating press with beefy!bucky. all that weight on top of you, knowing for certain he’s about to breed you?? ughhh

Oh God yes, the thought of this makes me fucking purr 🤤

Just the thought of his thick, slightly curved cock sliding as deep inside as you can take. The feeling of his tip rubbing against your cervix before he withdraws, pulling almost entirely out of you before he glides back in again.

"Good girl, 'm so proud of you. Cum nice and hard for me, I've got you. You're safe." He holds you so close, letting you sob your pleasure against his neck while he works you through another orgasm. It's tender and romantic and loving and you're beyond aware that this man makes you insanely wet.

Your thighs are still trembling as you come down from your high. Each thrust now feels like it's almost too much but with the way Bucky's groaning, he might not be able to keep it up for much longer.

"Fuck, you feel like Heaven. This pretty little pussy was made for me. Made to be mine." His thrusts are punishing but it's an addictive feeling. "I'm going to fill you. I'm not going to pull out. Going to give you a baby."

You're almost surprised how badly you want that but it's very hard to find the words to tell him; not when his thrusts are beginning to stutter and his high seems to get closer and closer.

"I'm going to fuck a baby into you." His hand holds your chin, making sure he can see your eyes. The evidence of pleasure written all over his face might've been enough to convince you that you could handle another orgasm but you'll still not quite sure that's a good idea.

Within a few more seconds, his cock is throbbing inside you, shooting stripes of hot, thick cum right against your cervix. He looks entirely content with his decision, pressing as deep as he can so you can feel him pulse and twitch.

There's not much you need to say to each other for a few seconds. Instead, it's nice to just listen to you both trying to catch your breath while your partner floods your waiting, fluttering sex with his cum.

thinking about Caleb "been a fugitive in the streets for 3 years" widogast giving tips about being on the run to essek "public figure member of one of the most powerful dens all his life" thelyss like "schatz pls you need to look a little more rugged than that if you're trying to go unnoticed everyone and their mother will stop and look to the most handsome man they've ever seen" "darling everyone on the assembly and dynasty knows how you do your hair perfectly you NEED to use him a little bit messier than that" "yes I know you pride yourself on your perfect posture but if you could hunch down just one bit so not everyone in that village knows you come from nobility..."

confidence is when your friends suddenly ignore you but you don't bat an eyelid and instead become the mysterious pretty girl with the high grades and the pink books

Something about the specific kinds of disagreements and contradictory headcanons that I see popping up over and over again between GO fans who identify strongly with Crowley vs those who identify strongly with Aziraphale

...and, idk, life imitating art imitating life?

Sometimes I have a man..... living in my brain...... who is so so beautiful................

For some weird reason, I've always been fascinated by how wildly different Sampo operates in the Underground vs the Overworld.

Sampo is present in both places and even in official sources, he's not really counted as one side or the other- now that the theory has been confirmed in-game, he's generally just lumped in with the Masked Fools.

But there really is a big difference!

Probably the most obvious and well known instance of Sampo's...business practices *cough burglary and fraud COUGH* in the Overworld is from the Belobog Museum event. In it, you don't find out Sampo is the main culprit until near the end, because Pela has to set up a sting just to catch him in the act. And that sting is necessary all because the initial suspect they arrested, Norbert, had pretty much no idea of his partner's identity. Sampo wouldn't even speak to him face-to-face.

And whereas Sampo is normally very pleasant and friendly with the trailblazer...when he thinks he's talking to Norbert here, he straight up says that they are NOT friends. Like he really shuts that shit DOWN.

There's also an Overworld NPC, Chavez, who heads the "Dark Blue Scam Support Group." And he. Really really really does not like Sampo fjkdasjklfdj

Chavez clearly wants Sampo caught, and has literally no positive feelings about him. So. Why call it the Dark Blue Scam? Why not just out him by name? Chavez obviously doesn't give a single shit about Sampo's dignity or privacy. But he never once refers to him as "Sampo," and even the pamphlets he passes out make no mention of it. No one in the entire support group seems to know how to identify him or how to refer to him except by his hair color. If the trailblazer says his name, Chavez reacts as though he's never heard it before.

(I've seen people say this means Sampo Koski is an alias and not his real name? But Ray pointed this out, and honestly I agree; even the Fools call him Sampo, after all. I think it's just that Chavez never knew Sampo's name in the first place, and given his immense distrust, immediately assumes it's an alias.)

And then there's his characters stories, where he proceeds to pull off a heist in the Overworld while in disguise as Brughel Poisson the entire time. Literally his own stories don't mention Sampo's name even once.

So anyway, all this shows that when he's up in the Overworld working cons, Sampo is incredibly slippery and secretive about his identity. The only people who seem to know him are Pela, Serval, and Gepard. He doesn't get close to anyone else, and is even surprisingly unfriendly. Nobody knows his name. No one knows his face. He has zero qualms about backstabbing or double-crossing, and even plans for it in some cases.

Meanwhile, down in the Underground, I'm pretty sure literally the worst thing we hear of him doing is scalping tickets in front of the Fight Club. Which isn't even illegal in a lot of places (although it's certainly a dick move).

In Hook's companion quest, a vagrant miner steals Fersman's equipment and tries to sell it to Sampo. Even before the trailblazer and Hook jump in and out the vagrant as a thief, Sampo hesitates to buy it because it sounds like stolen goods, which he doesn't want any part of.

Even knowing that a geomarrow detector is rare and incredibly valuable in the mines, Sampo makes no attempt to double-cross Hook or profit off of her loss, and even tells her who to go to to get it fixed.

And my favorite example of Sampo in the Underground is the Survival Wisdom adventure mission. In it, Sampo starts up a business with Peak, another miner. And like. In wild contrast to all the cons he pulls above ground, Sampo is actually super nice and helpful here.

Just the same as with Hook's quest, Sampo talks to Peak face-to-face, with no disguises or barriers. When the trailblazer finds them, they're just in the Great Mine, no secretive meeting places. Peak knows Sampo, is familiar with him, and calls him by name. It's not even a con! There's nothing illegal going on; it really is just a business partnership. Peak is more than happy with their deal, he's even pretty enthusiastic about it, because thanks to Sampo he can now make enough money to get by while also accommodating his chronic fatigue.

The only person Sampo lies to in this whole ordeal is the trailblazer, who he manipulates into getting Peak's mining equipment back from the vagrants that stole it in the first place. And when it's done, he rewards them with a legit treasure map.

So when he's working in the Underground, Sampo is MUCH more upright and lawful. Part of this is probably to do with his "business" model- Sampo only takes advantage of the wealthy, and poverty runs rampant in the Underground. When he charges Peak an extra 30% (the same percentage he charges Norbert as a consultation fee in the museum heists- Sampo seems to go by percentage instead of a flat rate, which means his prices are more fair for lower incomes) for carelessly losing their supply, Peak literally starts counting out pocket change.

Dude's working for pennies and good will down there dknsmdmd

And you can twist this into a Robin Hood thing if you want- Sampo IS technically working to feed orphans and heal the sick. He says himself he's more than happy to make up the shortfall between the greedy and the marginalized- I mean he says it in the shadiest way possible, but I doubt the people benefiting from his work really care that he's a slimeball if it means they can survive another day. Even the two heists he pulls in his character stories are literally just him stealing absurd amounts of food.

Personally though I think it is solely because of Natasha, and Sampo is hilariously well-behaved specifically for her, because she keeps him on a short leash JSKZJMSMSKS

i do still (occasionally) (also when keith mentions it) think about how noone really interacted with phrygian much outside of their humanoid shape much (room, place, objects etc), and when they did it usually went with a general sense of that being so strange / weird / kind of offputting. and of course part of it is that it's jokes from the cast & saying things like 'i don't want to party inside of you' are just kind of funny, i guess*, and on the other hand (watsonian) i can buy it from the characters who were raised with/under anti-branched propaganda, HOWEVER

Get over it!! Get over it!!!!! Skill‼️ Issue‼️

When did Astarion catch feelings?

This is a question I've been mulling over for a while and I have some thoughts. (Disclaimer: These are my own musings and are in no way a definitive answer. People can choose the answer that best fits them.) I was mulling over the scene with Astarion in Act 2 where he explains his initial intentions in seducing Tav/Durge and how his "nice simple plan" fell apart when he fell for the main character. Then I thought "Well... when exactly did things change for him?" It's not so obvious to differentiate his manipulations from his genuine feelings by that point. Then, I remembered his second proposition. The one that cuts to black. I started ruminating over why he asked for a second time and what his motivations might have been. After all, I'm not sure that he needed to sleep with Tav/Durge again for his purposes. He could have held out and dangled sex over them like piece of string to tease a cat with. He didn't have to put out. Baring in mind this is a man who hasn't slept with a lover more than once in over 200 years. I think he did it instinctively, but it was during this second experience that he realised it felt different both times. He even says during the conversation in Act 2 that yes, it felt different with Tav/Durge and that was part of the issue. The issue being that he'd done what he'd always done before... manipulated the player into having sex with him. He'd betrayed them and he'd done it because it was easy. I can just imagine the little seedlings of doubt sprouting after the first time, only to fully blossom after the second. I can imagine Astarion laying on his back after the encounter, staring up at the sky and thinking "Shit." It did feel different this time because this time he feels guilt. Guilt was probably a feeling he compartmentalized and gave up on a long time ago. Probably right after the time he was tortured and locked away for a year after letting a victim escape. And then him finally coming to the conclusion he feels guilty because he genuinely cares for Tav/Durge. The act of sex with them wasn't triggering because of the sex, but because he'd manipulated them into it. He'd not propositioned them with good intentions and that hits him like a stake to the heart because if anyone deserved sincerity, it was them. All this to say, I like to think Astarion realised his true feelings for the player during their second sexual encounter, but it takes him a while to come to terms with he fact that his first instinct was the manipulate this wonderful person he adores so much.

Last piece ❤️💙

There are still leftovers of the Calendar as well as some A5 prints with calendar pieces 💞

linktr.ee/Mezzy (or check my Tumblr for links)