#ive said what i wanted to say on just about everywhere so there wasnt much to discuss but im still open to talk about this if you want to!!
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Hear me out, Steve trying to win over mama Henderson. A blurb of Steve being a major kiss ass in every way possible. He earns quite a few brownie points and learns way too much neighborhood gossip. Just imagine bug coming home to Steve and her mom gossiping on the couch tews in his lap.
steve: i must make everyone like me
hes so real for that
enjoy !
"so, how do we really feel about jonathan?" steve has tews in his lap, so hes careful not to startle the young kitten as he leans in close to mrs henderson to whisper about the boy who has a bean bag dedicated to him in her daughters room.
claudia rests a hand against her chest and sighs deeply. she looks around, as if scared someone will overhear, before she leans over to whisper. "can i be honest?"
"always, mrs. henderson."
"i adore that boy. why, i even had a whole wedding planned for him and my y/n, but... well, youre just so handsome!"
steve gasps and places a hand over his chest as well, deeply happy with how this conversation is turning out. "mrs. henderson, youre a beautiful woman with wonderful children. this, well, its an honor that you think so highly of me."
claudia giggles, and steve winks at her. it's quiet for a few seconds as the two of them enjoy the smile on their faces. tews is purring steves lap and youre not home yet from picking dustin up from jonathans. he hadnt meant to be alone with your mom, claudia insisted he come in when he arrived and shoved a kitten into his arms and now hes here.
gossiping about jonathan byers as claudia henderson gushes over steve.
tews lets out a yawn and stretches lazily on top of steves lap. claudia watches fondly and coos at her cat. "i havent seen tews this comfortable around a stranger!"
"animals like me," steve shrugs. "plus, i think shes just happy i cleaned her litter box."
"i told you that there wasnt any need-"
"i wanted to help, mrs. henderson." steve reassures her for the millionth time. in this instance, he can see how much you resemble your mother. both of you too kind to ask for help.
claudia tauts at steve and shakes her head. she knows what hes doing, she saw jonathan do it for the five years he spent his childhood within her home.
claudia henderson knows what a boy looks like when hes in love with her daughter.
steve goes back to gently petting tews' head and claudia sighs. she knows she shouldnt intervene, but youre her baby girl and steve seems like such a wonderful boy.
the mother smiles softly at the teen sitting across from her. "jonathan is a lovely boy, ive watched him grow up and bring my y/n back to life after everything that happened when she was young, but i havent seen my daughter glow quite as much as she does when shes around you."
claudias eyes never stray from steve. he doesnt look up at her, but she knows hes heard what shes said by the way his breath catches, ever so slightly. she doesnt want to push him, but she can sense that hes a hurt boy who has been drawn in by your endless kindness. taking a breath, she says, "im happy my daughter has you, steve."
steves breath catches again and he coughs, trying to clear his throat of the shock he feels at your mothers words. in his startle, tews jumps out of his lap and returns to claudia, sending him a disgruntled glare as she settles herself into the womans lap.
"yeah, well." steve coughs again, eyes looking everywhere but at claudia. "im happy i have y/n, too."
claudia claps her hands, satisfied with his response. "good! now, dusty tells me your family is rich?"
a loud and unexpected laugh escapes steves mouth and his head spins at his bizarre the situation is. claudia snickers, pleased with herself, and steve once again sees so much of you in the woman. "dusty would be correct."
"even better!"
neither are sure how much time passes, but eventually their conversation transitions from a weird heart to heart to gossip about the neighborhood. before you arrive home, steve learns about the creepy neighbor down the street named dave, about the couple next door who just had a baby named penelope, and about the dog a few blocks down that once chased you when you were younger.
"the dog chased her halfway across hawkins! i swear, its why that girl now likes that insane hobby of hers." claudia huffs, stroking tews' head once more.
"she likes to run?" steve asks, amazed that he still has so much to learn about you.
"who likes to run?" you ask, stepping through the front door with dustin behind you. when you see steve sitting on your couch across from your mother, your shoulders drop. "oh, no. is my mom telling you more embarrassing stories about me?"
dustins shoulder knocks against yours as he walks inside. "did my mom tell you about the time y/n peed the bed last year?"
steves eyes widen and you jump on top of your brother, strangling him. "shut up!"
you wack at your brothers head and manage to bring him to his knees as you wrestle on the ground. dustin screeches and tries to claw you off of him, but youre still slightly bigger (though he keeps growing more and more every day). its a tangle of limbs and screams.
claudia and steve watch from the couch, both of them smiling fondly at the sight of the two siblings strangling one another.
"precious kids, mrs. henderson." the teen winks again at claudia, and she laughs.
#ask#anon#m speaks#come home blurb#m's writing#set in between seasons 2 and 3 !#bug is a mix of her mother and father#her fathers kindness and anger#and her mothers wit and emotional intelligence#thats my girl !!
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okay bit of a ramble incoming but. me and writing, we havent had the best relationship lately, mostly because ive been dealing with imposter syndrome a lot, and writer spaces dont seem to be as welcome as they used to be to me. but for the past months ive been trying to get into a more healthy mindset about writing. its just difficult because many of the author communities im apart of dont seem to agree with said mindset.
so. heres a thing that happened. theres this book series, a ya romantasy, that kind of went viral on booktube/booktok for being mostly shitty. i've watched a couple of reviews of it, most of them negative, can generally agree with most criticisms of the book, and it is, in my mind, ticked off as a "bad book". dont be like that author, dont do what she does, dont write like this, everyone will hate your book.
me and my father were sitting in the garden, next to eachother, me writing and him listening to an audiobook. he tells me about how good it is and how much he likes it. theres dragons, its so cool, its such an interesting world, he's at book two now and cant wait for the third one to be released. to my surprise, its the exact book that booktubers everywhere talk shit about. now ive seen people on the internet that liked the book, but theyre just some guys on the web and i dont know them and their opinion doesnt mean much. but my dad? i know him. i know his tastes. and he likes it.
and i think that made me realise something. i still dont like that book, but someone, a person whose taste and opinions i (usually) value, does. he doesnt care about the plot holes that others see, he doesnt know about the discourse surrounding certain tropes, he likes it because its fantasy, and theres dragons, and theres magic, the fact that theres a disabled protagonist is cool to him, and THERES DRAGONS! and so many other people also like it. for whatever reason.
its a "bad book", apparently, thats what most people call it, but to some its a good book. and if someone just constantly keeps finding issues with a book, then it wasnt for them in the first place wasnt it? critiques and negative reviews and rants are still valid and, i'd say, needed. but in the end, they dont matter much. the book isnt offensive or "problematic" or anything but it really is just kinda bad and people still like it and it really is fine.
my writing is gonna be bad to someone. my writing style is convoluted and kind of silly and just. bad. okay. and there are people that still like it. that doesnt mean i dont want to improve and get better as a writer, i do. for the people that like my stuff, for myself, i will get better, but like. its fine. im fine. someone will like what i write. there will be bad parts of my writing that some people will hate, and some will ignore, and thats the fact for every book and every kind of art.
ill be fine. ill just keep writing and things will be fine.
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So like, what's the best thing your crush could have said while still turning you down? I'm flattered doesn't seem so bad to me
-with a smiley face and that she appreciates me saying that
and we are missing the bigger picture here. she led me on (attested to by many of my friends who knew about this) and was calling me pet names like "bae, babe, mi amor," and saying "i love you" (out of nowhere and like we do not hang out outside of work so like we are barely friends outside of being coworkers) and shit like that and just looking at me the way friends do not look at each other and just making me feel like she was kinda interested in me as well. she gets jealous whenever i talk about how someone else is attractive, especially men (im bi), said that im a catch, "a hottie in a hot bod" and literally follows me around everywhere i go. starts touching me more frequently as soon as she figured out that my love language is physical touch, started saying cute shit as soon as i told her it's right above words of affirmation. and mind you, she was not like that at all when i first met her or like that with anyone else, she was usually pretty quiet and kept to herself and doesnt share anything about herself outside of work.
but all of that can be pushed aside. i am not forcing/expecting and will never force/expect anyone to like me, especially after being on the receiving end of "confessions" and hearing them say "but why doesnt she like me???? im tall, fit, go to the gym, and do good in school" what made it bad was that she would tease me incessantly to the point of making me feel like shit, and think that im joking around all the time, that im pouting or whatever when i tell her point blank that im mad/sad/upset/that she's being mean, and that just because i smile at her (which she would literally wheedle out of me) or hug her (bc for some reason i would feel bad sometimes about being upset with her??? when it's my emotions??) i forgive her, when that is not the case. she would say im sorry sometimes, when she's seen that im pissed or she's hit a nerve, but in this weird voice and tone that implies that she's sorry that im mad/upset (bc when i am i am not as affectionate and "cute" or whatever, and my default mood at work is cheerful/friendly and she wants it back??) not of what she said. and there was a time i think where ive explained to her exactly why i wasnt my usual self too and she just... brushes it off?
so my mood/emotions would be literally up and down up and down like a damn roller coaster whenever we work together with her stupid teasing and pet names and "i love you so much's" and touching/loving words, and i would be so confused and sad over what was going on, and cry on the days that were bad. i obv didnt tell her why it affected me so much, bc that involved my crush on her, but just to a normal coworker/friend i feel like you should realize when's the time to stop, especially when i have flat out told you that im mad/sad/upset/that you're being mean or whatever. you know?
and there was no way that she didnt notice that i am not as affectionate and touchy and complimentary and stuff with my other coworkers compared to her.
and so in the response to my confession after that sentence of "im flattered" and that she appreciates me saying that ive fucking had a crush on her for a year and a half and had felt awful at work that day (a bad day in which i had originally planned to confess in-person), she asked me to tell her about what happened specifically that made me feel bad "so that (she) can move forward."
so yeah, in reply to your question anon, i think i was just hoping for a little bit of empathy.
#she also hadnt specifically said she doesnt like me that way which i personally feel like was needed for me to move on#she just... said im flattered#with a damn smiley face?? like she enjoyed the attention#but whatever lol im over it and its petty to hate someone over this#i just want to let out my feelings and move on now#wenz can talk#anon ask#and also for those ts fans out there too she’d absolutely trashed on her before i got SO pissed and she backed off
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what if i went off about some of my favorite songs ever
kyuuyaku hankagai - hiiragi magnetite: everyone knows i love this. i just love everything about it. we really get both sides of the picture story wise with it- both the fact the world is literally, physically getting destroyed, and all of the mental torment the characters are dealing with. it still has that magu series weird wording but it gets everything across that it needs to. the instrumental is just as heavy as the scenario with added dramatics in parts that really make it for me. all the long notes to simulate screaming. the seamless addition of both the nami no ne no & rute furute woa motifs (& a possible 3rd? theres still parts in here i cant figure out yet) makes me so emotional. if u have no idea about the series its still a solid song. 10000/10 i cannot fully express my love for this song in words i just need it on repeat full volume for weeks on end.
ai wo - null: impossible for me to explain why i love this so much without oversharing. i keep telling myself not to rank this song so high but ive never felt so seen before. null's lyrics are both poetic & still hit every raw emotion where it hurts. the whole being left alone ur whole life & wishing it wasnt that way, that everything wasnt so empty, that someone could love u the way u need & never got. i want everyone to hear this song and i also want to gatekeep it. it became so important to me in such a short time & itll be hard to ever rival it
arikitari heroes - 150suzu: im not immune to nostalgia. shuuenpro is executed entirely different to aru sekai series & i have to judge from entirely different criteria & that said i really always loved how this one sort of summarized the series in a way that highlighted all the strife in it & made it subjective rather than an objective summary. the chorus is so high its like theyre crying out which fits entirely. i still have the video embedded in my mind & its been a hot minute since ive watched it. my teenage self thought it was so deep & even with a different perspective now i cant entirely discount those feelings. anyway i still really love it i could still listen to it for weeks on end if i wasnt busy keeping up with other things. i do not say it lightly when i say this is the song i have listened to the most in my entire life i used to spend Months straight listening to it. beloved.
tachiiri kinshi - mafumafu: i was sooooooo normal about this in high school (lying). its still high on my list of breakdown songs. like damn its been 8 years and it still holds up the same. between this & ai wo that just gives away 90% of my problems. imagine solving isolation by letting people in cant be me. anyway i was obsessed with drawing the girl from the video for a while idk how many doodles i still have left but she was Everywhere on my school work. normal person behavior.
jishou mushoku - nekobolo: song that has pulled the most weight in keeping me alive. where would i be without it. sometimes the mood is so bad this is still the only thing i can listen to some days.
rokuchounen to ichiya monogatari - kemu: the real reason i fell down the voca rabbit hole. still adore the song & find it hugely nostalgic, but there was a reason i connected with it when i was younger & being able to recognize how fucked up that was makes it also a painful reminder id rather bury. song fucks tho love how every rhythm game its in will destroy u trying to play it.
konmei no aji - savasti: regardless of the real meaning of the song this will always be a dissociation song to me not in the sense it makes me dissociate but rather in the spaceyness & disconnect it reminds me of the feeling but in a safer way to deal with it. personally i prefer rire's cover
taishou x - yurry canon: u will appreciate this song now right now its so under appreciated for a yurry canon song. god the fucking "i'm still living the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. as it is i will never be you. theres no reason in living, but just the same theres no point in dying is there?" [punching a wall] i like it a normal amount
kaiko no kanmuri - dopam!ne: god this song fucks so hard and yet its still edgy. i dont even really know how to explain what i feel with this one beyond i love it. its a kind of waiting for the right time to strike for revenge kinda song? idk its my absolute fave dopam!ne song i love a lot of his songs but this one just really does it for me
haru no sekibaku - inaba kumori: kutabireta atashi ga dame dattan da ne. yeah. the overall mood of this song hits just right all too often. sorry lag train this is the defining inabakumori song to me.
hyperlexia - yamaji: the space in this one also gives me a sense of vague dissociation. i just really love the whole reading between the lines not going to fall for lies anymore mood its got going on. a misguided sense of personal revolution that probably wont end in anything meaningful but i particularly like the song.
#this is far from extensive but it is relatively in order#i started this for fun & then ended up like ohhh the problems are obvious regardless of how much i say#dont worry about it im the cool fun well adjusted mutual theres no problems to speak of its fine#could also add harumakigohans saikai#if i was doing more than one per artist theres would be quite a few mafumafu songs for sure#but this is enough for now#debated adding jyokyo's wakatteruko-san but i absolutely dont have it in me to admit some things publicly#regarding my relationship with that song#thinking too much & shutting down now byebye
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wait what happened with twenty one pilots?
when george floyd was killed and the blm marches were happening everywhere during covid people were asking them to use their platform and speak out on the issue. they were posting but ignoring the situation and they had millions of followers and couldve done something to raise money.
instead tyler posted a picture of him in platform shoes saying “since everyones asking me to use my platform” or something like that. he was mocking the people asking him to post about blm. then he went on a whole spiel about mental health and at the time he said that he doesnt regret it and shit.
later he apologized and i’ll be honest, it didnt seem like a fake teary youtuber apology video but it pissed me off that he apologized on a livestream that only their fans were watching. no one who stopped supporting them and was hurt by that tweet would have seen that apology. he should have done it more publicly on twitter. and he never did anything to redeem himself he just was like “black lives matter. okay anyways…”
one time he randomly tweeted “black lives matter” a few months after that tweet and someone quoted it and said “they must have a new album coming soon” and sure enough they announced their album a few weeks later.
not excusing his behavior, but i think tyler grew up in a very christian conservative house and the things he was taught followed him into his adulthood. i remember when they legalized gay marriage in 2015 they didnt post anything about it until people were yelling at them and asking why theyre not saying anything. then they posted a vague thing where he said “i think any day love rules over hate is a good day” or something like that. the first time he ever acknowledged pride was in 2020 where he just tweeted a happy pride tweet. josh wasn’t like that. he had liked a lot of pride tweets from their fans and never, at least as far as i know, shown any signs of racism but he did like tylers tweet so he apparently didnt see a problem with it.
i loved them so much so this really hurt me. i remember where i was when i saw the tweet and i remember thinking “please tell me im interpreting this wrong” but i wasnt. i can never stop loving their music but ive stopped following them the way i used to. it helps that i genuinely hated their last album. i only listened to it once and was surprised that i hated it but kinda glad because i didnt want to support them but fuck ill always love vessel and regional at best and self titled so much. one of my best concert experiences to this day was the blurryface tour. i was in the pit just a few feet away from tyler during trees. i miss loving them the way i used to. it was fun.
#twenty one pilots#is it risky tagging them? i dont want a bunch of white people trying to tell me that wasnt racist#i guess we’ll find out#eden answers
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soo its been a while...
hey guys.
firstly i would like to apologize for leaving without saying much! a lot happened that ill get into later but im ok! well as ok as everyone else on this website （ ´∀｀）(do people still use those idk...) it was wrong of me to leave yall for so long without a little explaination but i just couldnt find one to give. i would like to thank you all for the kind words and the continued checking up on me even long after i stopped responding. you all were always so kind to me.
ok ig to the reason i left. my mom tried to kill herself. it was my dads birthday and coming up to their wedding anniversary and ig it just got too much for her. ive spent the last year and a half helping her back on her feet. i got a job to help pay for things and we have moved into a smaller house closer to school. for a while when she was in the hospital i stayed with ##### shes really nice and her family had a spare room from when her sister went to uni! it was so nice to stay in their house! they treated me like the world wasnt falling apart without ignore that it totally was! they understand things in a way i dont think ill ever. they are also so kind to my mom and every week we have dinner together! im glad my mom is doing better but ill also always look back at that time in their house with joy. ##### said she loved living with me and it was like a "peak into our future" (we're going to go to the same university! and get the same jobs! and get married together! and everything! we made a vow!). i want to be with her forever. my mom back on her feet she goes to therapy once a week and says shes never do anything like that to me again. i love her so much. i dont want her to ever die. if i could create one thing as a scientist itd be to make mothers everywhere immortal!! and happy!! we're all doing much better! im so excited for the future!
for things on here i did see taylor live and she was AMAZTASTIC i got sooo many photos ill post them all in a seperate post!! ill get back to doing my dairy/blog thing weekly but the oc story thing i have is probably dead now... sorry i just dont have any ideas or motivation for them anymore but that doesnt mean im dont creating!! i have soo many more ocs i want to introduce to you! as well as so many fandoms i want to get into and so many old fandoms i want to catch up with (ive been watching supernatural what did we all think of that final 👀)! ive missed you all soooo much!! im excited to be back and to hear about everything i missed out on!
sorry for the messy post ig tumblr is not like riding a bike haha!
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june 12th
hi
i wanted to start writing because i feel like itll help me in some way, ive never really said anything i think or feel. i never really say anything at all.
if for some reason someone who isnt me reads this im sorry. itll be a lot of word vomit and just generally unpleasant so maybe dont read all of it lol. im going to try and not use lol beacuse i do that to lighten the mood.
anyway.
yesterday before i went to work i had this really strange feeling. it was this weird sense of nothingness and everything? i feel like thats how people feel before they die. like a weird calmness. i felt comfortable and okay with everything. so i felt nothing really when i googled if hanging yourself hurts, i have a rope and everything but i just wanted to make sure i wouldnt feel any more pain. in my head i thought it would be kinda like a slap to the face if i wanted to kill myself because of the pain and then the last thing i feel is pain ha.
anyway. i got really annoyed when all the results were for the suicide helpline. numbers to call, resources, texting lines everything. i just wanted to know. but then i gave up. as usual.
all day yesterday i was just planning on when id do it. i wanted to pick a good day. i remembered that i have to clean my apartment first, make sure my cat is fed, but then my friends birthday is coming up and i wanted to wish them a happy birthday, and i had plans to hang out with my friend, and then after that i had plans to hang out with another of my friends. i realized maybe im too busy to die and i really didn't want to disappoint anyone. so i just gave up on that thought. (i did see my friends i was supposed to see yesterday, and this guy bought my food and drinks which has never happened before which was really nice)
idk how i got here honestly. ive tried suicide before but obviously im writing so that didnt work. but before was different. i just went for it. i didnt think about it. i didnt plan anything i just went 1,2,3 go. i mean, i know how i got here. myself. if i wasnt such a fucking people pleaser maybe I'd have enough balls to be in a better place.
my ex and i officially broke up last week, and thats kinda where it all started. i know it sounds stereotypical but i dont want to die because of the breakup but because of the feelings that came after it. i really wanted to break up. it was my idea in the beginning. but it took him forever to just say “yeah i dont have any feelings so this is it”. it was like my ego took a flip. ive actually have never had someone say that to me. that sounds really uppity i know. but its true. in my head i thought “after all i did for you thats how you end it?”. and i really ruined my life for this guy. i quit my old job i did hate it tho, moved away from my friends and family, he got into an accident so i used all my money to take care of him and had to take off work, drove him everywhere bc he couldnt drive, etc. and what did i get in return? he cheated on me twice, treated me like shit, slammed a door in my face so hard it broke my glasses, tried to hit me. the relationship was so bad all im left with is alcoholism and an eating disorder. so honestly, good riddance.
he left me in a really, really bad place. i have to figure out where to live now since he just up and left. i dont have enough money to live on my own anymore. tbh i dont even want to write about it since it stresses me out so much. so i wont. ive just been drinking and going out to distract myself. not from him but like i said, the feelings that came after it. i want revenge, i want peace, i want him to apologize, i want him to never do this to anyone, and i just want to die. i dont have people to talk to about this stuff, i do but, i dont want to seem like an angry ex. i just want people to see the hurt that ive been through. i just want someone to tell me its going to be okay. that what i feel is normal. that people go through this all the time. i just want comfort.
im sure if i actually told anyone about this theyd be like “but you have me!! you have your family!! you have people who care about you!!”. and yeah i do. but when youre so far down a hole, you dont see the light at the top, just darkness. and probably dirt lol.
i cried for the first time today. since all of this happened i havent cried at all. my chest has been hurting so much since ive been holding it in. but the reason i started crying was kinda dumb. one of my old friends found me and reached out. he wanted to see how i was doing and what ive been up to. what was i supposed to say? “hey ive been horrible! just planning my suicide and and stuff ya know” but of course i couldnt say that so i just said ive been good. we caught up for a bit and thats when he said hes getting over a breakup that messed him up. so i took the bait and said yeah me too. he just said if you ever want to talk you can always call or text. so i just said thank you it means a lot and that things can only get better i guess. and idk why but thats when i started crying. he said
“theres so much good to come”
its so dumb but i felt like those words were just a giant warm blanket. especially with the head space that im in. obviously i could hear that from anyone. but hearing it from someone i haven't talked to in like 4 years meant so much more.
there are so many people who care about me. ive just been stuck dealing with my ex and only caring about what he had to think or feel. he never really cared about me like these people do. theyre concerned about me. they tell me to eat, they tell me theyre worried about my drinking, they dont want me to be out alone, they want to make sure im okay.
so fuck my ex. fuck him and anyone who thinks hes a good person. hes such a manipulative piece of shit. no one really knows what ive been through. no one knows how hes left me. no one knows about the cheating. no one knows about the abuse. they know nothing. im sure hes talked about me. im sure hes told them how i have a hard time showing feelings. im sure hes told them.. i dont even know. hes probably pulled something out of his ass. and they probably feel so bad for him. i hope they do. and i hope one day they feel just as stupid as i do.
i just had to get my anger out.
but my friend is right i think. maybe there is good to come. ive decided to stick around to find out.
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eggshell.
my letter to khalil.
i havent spoken to you in months. my choice. i didn't trust you. you reminded me too much of a pain that healed a bit too deep. you wasnt the one that hurt me. you were wonderful. fun even. but i was wearing black shades, and i couldnt even see my own hand. but i remembered your laugh. i laugh like you now. i was scared of how easy it felt to fuck you, but how hard it was to say how my day was.
i left you on read in august.
today is december 14th.
you texted me tonight.
you called.
you're with to someone else.
but you thought of me, and told me all the things you liked about me and how sad he was when i didn't see you for you. you noticed even the little things. but i saw you for my past. it was a blurb. and it's haunting me tonight. bc its true. i get in my own way. we couldve been happy together. it wouldve been cool. but it got treacherous to live outside of my delicate eggshell. one step and the shell will shake, and i dont want that, do i? a fragile shell is better than no shell and all exposure.
i was so innocent. he took advantage of me. not you, wonderful boy. the one who locked me in the eggshell, and took my place in the sunlight. ive been trying to come out of it, but he stalks me like a wolf, making sure his prey never leaves. that part is true. ask my friends. ive been stalked bc i loved him. ive been spied on. ive been lied to and on. hes made the campus i live on vietnam. i cant escape him. no matter how hard i try. and im sorry. mostly sorry to myself, but im sorry i hurt you, too. even if it wasnt that deep because you told me you found somebody new that you like, maybe want to be with. i wish i was you. i wish i could leave my egg shell.
if there was a worldwide telegram i could send to you and all the masses, it would say this:
"i want you all to know how im trying. he was my everything. he was a reflection of my freedom. me smashing my toes in the mud. i was 18. swaying through tall waves of grass and light. the love that felt like the one picture of two souls colliding. it was a diaster. i left him at 20. i only knew him for two years for a lifetime of forgetting and moving on.
im still picking up the pieces. every inch of this city i lay my head on for 6 more months has pieces of his curls everywhere. every inch of me reminds me of us. even though all my bodyhas changed. ive changed. ive had some falls. my scars have healed. ive gotten so much healither. but i still get tired and exhausted. life has turned and the world has too. he took my friends. my friends love him more than me. hes all they talked about. so i cut them off. a lot for them actually. im almost alone now. i realized the people that i thought were there for me never were. so i couldnt trust khalil. because it has been brought to my attention that i cant trust myself. so pls know i am trying. it might be a while. but i wont stop fighting to leave this eggshell. im going to keep trying. he suffocates my mouth and neck like soot blowing in a pipe. i keep telling myself itll be okay. but i said that when we broke up. he stalked me, and the soot tracked on my shoe. so i stopped going there. i cried myself to sleep, "itll all be over once he graduates." he got his friends to do his bidding. as i try not to recoil to the unblock button, the world i see before me is crumbling. choking. boiling. burning. it creates more than a scab.
i want to text him.
but i dont love him.
i want to text him to leave me alone. i want him to know that i see him. and iknow he cant be the only one who feels that tension between us when we swiftly walk past. i know im not the only one, if i was, it would just be my tears and healing beside me, and not another memory of him traumatizing me. i would tell him that i saw what he commented. i would tell him i know what he did. i woudl tell him to give me bakc my tote bag because i know he has it. i would tell him to take down my art, because my – your friend told me its still there. i would tell him i know you miss me, because they showed me a picture and you traced over my strokes. i know you miss me, because had your friends try to corner me.
and its not a good thing. i would tell them if he misses me that much, he needs to heal. i would tell him to leave me alone. i would tell him to stop stealing my joy. God and i are begging you to leave me alone. im begging God to tell me that im not crazy. i want to be free. i want to love. i want to stop blaming myself for your war and its aftermath. of course i still care about him. but i want to care about myself more.
the thought of texting him brings so many ideas to my mind. all of them are subjectively terrorist-like to myself and all ive went through. what if texts back? what if he shared it? what if that conversation is not ours, but ours and his pack of wolves? what if they eat me? what if they get me? what if this was their plan? all of the attacks were stragetic to get me back to him? even if it was to curse his existence to his face: its what he wanted. because at the end of the day, he hurt me because he was hurt too.
but what if he changed? what if hes just confused? could we sit in his car, a coffee shop alone. two chairs, two seats, however you put it. sitting. talking. could humanity be like that
as i wrote this letter to u khalil, i remember that you chose to be human for a second, and take a chance. not for the sake of gaining a romantic connection, but just to see what happened. if i was okay. was it something he did. how bad was it> because khalil, you want to love again. and you know, you tok your shot. it was peaceful. we laghed. we talked about our summer together. and i wonder what that looks like for me. but i started to talk about him. thats how you know it was not you. and while it is me, it is someone elses knife inside me, the pinned you when you embraced me. and im sorry. i hope you love her. i hope you hold her tight. thank you.
take care,
from,
melas.
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i told someone about my sort of SA situation for the first time ever and he said it wasnt assault bc i didnt say no. it was right after he told me about a (much worse and much more traumatic) CSA situation that happened to him, and i dont hold it against him at all. (hes also from overseas and doesnt have all this messaging abt vagaries of consent blasted to him from everywhere.) but its strange because i’ve never felt anything about it before, even when ive tried. I couldnt tell if it was because it wasnt actually assault or because i preemptively numb myself or i just didnt really care either way. and now that hes said that … ive felt kind of terrible on and off. and i dont know if its because discussing it made me feel bad, or because i wanted pity and to martyr myself for this inconsequential stupid moment because i dont really have many excuses or traumas to explain how shitty my behavior and my life is, and he denied me that.
ive long thought that what i really want is just some kind of excuse for being the way i am because i feel so much shame for being worthless. the “SA” wouldnt have been much of an excuse anyways because it happened so long after everything else in my life imploded — just me suffering the natural consequence of my downward spiral
im still stuck, and too cowardly and lazy to either improve my situation or to just end it. floating along day by day like im on opium … disconnected from reality and creating an internal simulation of contentment
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WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE FIC SO FAR!??!?!
my phone TURNED OFF BEFORE I COULD GIVE MY FULL REVIEW OMFG
Anyways 🤡 thank you for sending me this!!!! Heres (most of) my thoughts (from before they were deleted 😐):
I really really loved the intro and how mikes pov and wills paralleled each other with waking up and thinking ab each other….wills all like 😊☺️🎨and mike is just 🥺🤡😞 and being a mess. Also the magic hour??? I didnt even know that was a thing so im def gonna utilize that for my next painting
I also really loved how the author made the hopper/byers feel like a family…sometimes fics rush through that same thing with how some fics rush through an explanation if they are canon compliant so this was a really nice change of pace!!! And the NARRATING i loved the descriptions holy jsndnxnx
Also i have to mention, will making mike a painting of himself as batman IMMEDIATELY hooked me in bc 1) i love batman 2) IM LITERALLY WRITING A FIC WHERE MIKE LOVES BATMAN (its a modern au) and i havent run into any other mike loving batman content so im HERE for it
Also EL TRAVELING THE WORLD??? GOOD FOR HER i now want a sequel fic that follows her going to italy and scotland I NEED IT I NEED IT TO LIVE
Also in general i just really liked how the author showed wills acceptance of his feelings and mike just Going Through It with the pining
“Will the Wise, Will the Wanted” HAND ME BANGING ON MY WALL AND SCREECHING LIKE IVE NEVER SCREECHED BEFORE. I cannot take this level of heart
The entire couch sequence. THE ENTIRE COUCH SEQUENCE. I wanna hold hands with somebody like that >:( michael wheeler YOURE paying for my therapy (and your own you rat boy) also i just really want that couch. Like i would buy that couch if i could
THE ENZOS SCENE??? T H E EN Z O S S C E EN E ??????? !!!!!!!! First of all that poor waitress i hate the restaurant industry (i worked in it) and BYLER OMFG I JUST I CANT I HUH UGH HUH??? Will just SLIDING INTO THE BOOTH LIKE THAT i thought mike was gonna istantly die. Instantly combust. Also she really did pull a heartstopper “im not homophobic im an ally” moment i love her for that
The family recipe/date night sequence. Thats it thats the post. What else can i say to elaborate further ON HOW FREAKING GOOD THAT CHAPTER WAS? i will elaborate anyway so my beating heart can speak.
1) the family recipe thing WAS SO CUTE and so domestic and for what??? So it could kill me ?? I love domestic scenes where they havent become established yet…thats my heroin
mike getting ABSOLUTELY SCHLAMMERED ON WINE ENDEDDDD MMEEEEE like he was just throwing them back as if he wasnt a lightweight.
Also mike was cooking for 4 hrs straight????? Please that just ugh i sir here this is yours now ❤️
“Michael wheeler? A chef?” WILL SAYING HE HASNT EVER SEEN MIKE WITH A FRYING PAN ANDNDNDJNDNDN
“but something about a starlit bike ride to the Wheeler residence never failed to make Will feel like a little kid again in the best possible way.” TGIS WRITING IS SHDNNDND ITS KILLING ME ITS SO GOOD
Also ??? Mikes date plan was actually out of this world. Wine, lasagna, star wars???? I may be aro but thats my kind of party !!
Picture this. I am sitting at the kitchen counter. I am drinking my cup of coffee from a quaint little owl mug that a friend bought me from cracker barrel. I read this: “Mike sighs. “Look Will, I’m sorry okay? I fucked up, but I sincerely just wish you’d tell me what I said so that I can begin to make sense of it all because here I am thinking you’ve been mad at me for burning lasagna and the next thing I know, you’re flirting with that knockoff Hercules fucker right in front of me!” I now have spit coffee EVERYWHERE and its all over my phone and shirt. I need 10 mins to clean up. This is my life.
And the miscommunication???? Thats my wine, thats my meal, thats what i eat up right there. I will now be thinking about this fic for the rest of the week🤡 thank you so so much for sending me the link to this!!!!! Im literally gonna add it to my list of fics i wanna bind for myself
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second part of my therapy:
3. Here im gonna count everytime she left me for a guy, everytime that i thirdwheeled, everytime that i had to lie to her mom and everytime she made me feel like i didnt belong in a place or situation just because she wanted the attention of a male.
- like i understand that getting rid of your daddy issues is hard as fuck, but these situations were a pain in the ass sometimes, and she still does this nowadays, she never learned that shit made me uncomfortable.
4. following point 3, and one of the things that got em mad at her lately is when she fucked with our friend right in front on me, while being full aware that i was completely awake.
-dude, out of respect, like i know that she feels that we are in debt because i fucked my ex in her moms bed, but fuck it, ive done enough for the friendship to pay for that one time and ok, she did it once, i got mad at both of them they promised that they were never going to do that again and i said it was fine, then a week later... they did it again, the diference, this time, they did it in the same bed where i was laying, they knew i was awake and that made me feel really bad, anxious and disgusted, i cant explain why, it just felt wrong.
-they never said sorry about that and tried to invite for another sleepover after that and i declined.
5. when she asked me to kiss her ex so she could kiss with the guy i was flirting with
-so, we were in a “party” her ex, his best friend, her and me, so the other dude started flirting with me and i felt good because i havent met someone in a while after all the madness that was going on with my ex at that time, so i flirted back and we were making steps, so, when we were about to kiss, she came and pulled me apart and told me if i could please kiss her ex so she could be with the other guy, because she was cause she fought with the boy she liked (the same dude she said i was fucking uo the relationship with) so i accepted, she dated this new dude for a week and the left him for the same boy she originally liked.
-so i was mad, cause i liked him i could have dated him and idk have something nice for once, but she decided that nope, masculine approval was more important than how i felt or what i wanted.
-recently she denied the situation and said that never happened.
6. of course, i have to mention the fact that she was taling with my ex behind my back about my mental health and told him that i was faking my suicide attemps for attention.
- he blocked fucking everywhere and stopped answering my calls and when i told her that i felt bad because i didnt knew what ive done this time and why was he acting that way and she said that it was for the best, like she didnt knew the shit she made.
-then, whe i confronted her she said that she didnt wanted to do that and that she didnt have an intention with telling him that i was faking, and that she knows that i dont fake.
-and that hurt more, because she wasnt even able to give me a reason to cause so much pain and hate between him and me
7. everytime she defended the boys when they made me feel bad, like sometimes she would be on my side obviously, but she is always so severe when i fuck up and so chill when they do.
-like, they could made cry and she would literally say, its okay, youre sensitive.
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Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2
Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!
Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Yandere Todoroki Clan:
It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.
When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.
Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.
You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.
Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.
Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go".
Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.
Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.
Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.
You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.
Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.
Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.
Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.
Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want."
If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.
That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.
Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done?
Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.
You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”
With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.
And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.
And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.
You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.
A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.
Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."
Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.
There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".
Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.
"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.
That he failed to save his daughter, again.
I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.
Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.
And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.
#yandere endeavor#platonic enji todoroki#yandere enji todoroki#yandere dabi#yandere shouto#yandere shoto todoroki#yandere todoroki#yandere todoroki family#yandere todoroki clan#yandere rei todoroki#yandere natsuo todoroki#yandere fuyumi todoroki#enji todoroki x reader#yandere touya todoroki#yandere bnha#bnha headcanons#yandere mha#bnha imagines#yandere dabi x reader#touya todoroki
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silent cries || kim seungmin
a series: reasons why skz broke the relationship off
lower caps intended ! taglist open for this series ! permanent taglist open as well !
word count : 764
warnings: might contain profanities
genre : angst
a/n: ik ive been mia for a while ,, ive been really stressed due to exams but i really wanted to give yall some content so here is my attempt to revive this series that has been put on hold for a really long time. i hope u enjoy it !
when he chooses your bestfriend over you
[series masterlist ] [masterlist]
you played with the hemline of you skirt. it was SO awkward. this was supposed to be a picnic planned for you and seungmin only, but somehow he insisted for your bestfriend, yena to come as well. why ? you had no clue either. “here babe.” he said as he passed you a strawberry shortcake, not forgetting to hand one to yena too. you gave him a weak smile as you placed the plate on the ground, opting to take a sip from the coffee he had ordered. it tasted bitter.
“ so yena, how’s your progress on mr kim’s project ?” seungmin asked, taking a bite into the cake. “the same, nothing. i swear to god mr kim can kiss my ass. he made the work so hard, ugh ! “ seungmin chuckled at her reaction. all you could do was sit in silence. it didnt help much that you didnt arent in mr kim’s class. “you know, if you really needed help, we could do it together right ?” yena’s face brightened up immediately as she forced a smile with her mouth full of cake “really ?! youre such a god sent seung ! i literally love you so much-“ the words had slipped unintentionally. yena’s eyes widened in horror “ NO WAIT Y/N I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY-“ you gave her an awkward chuckle, assuring her that it was fine.
you caught yourself staring into blank space as they continued their long rant about how horrible mr kim was as a lecturer. poking at the strawberry cake infront of you, you were bored to your death. what kind of date is this ? you thought. and thats when it all clicked. it wasnt supposed to be a date with you, but her. he was just obligated to bring you with him because you were his girlfriend. come to think of it, you were always the one who initiated things, whenever HE initiates something, yena would somehow have a part to play in it.
did he only agreed to date you for his own benefits ? did he ever truly love you ? all those “i love you” exchanged, did he ever mean any of it ? you were drowning in your thoughts until someone called your name, snapping you out of it. “y/n ! stop playing with your food… its getting everywhere. why didnt you eat it ? its your favourite…” that sentence confirmed your suspicions, your worst fear. “no.” “no …? i-im lost…”
you were unsure what happened but something inside you snapped. “ no. im done. im done with this hangout. im sitting here like a fool, watching you flirt with her ?! “ seungmin stared at you, offended. “excuse me ?! i set this up for you ! i just thought you would appreciate it if i like your BEST FRIEND come with. unless youre saying you wish she wasnt here.” a scoff youve been holding in left your mouth. “ dont put words in my mouth. but at this point, if this keeps up, i wont mind admitting to that. considering how IM ALLERGIC TO STRAWBERRIES and her FAVOURITE cake is STRAWBERRY shortcake. and lets not forget how you got me an expresso knowing damn well i only drink mocha and SHE only drinks expresso. “
“you dont seem to mind it at all. “ you were dumbfounded. how could he say such things ? “ i didnt want to say anything because i wanted to see how far things would go… but its gone far enough. “ tears threaten to spill from your eyers. “you dont love me anymore do you ?“ you mustve looked pathetic in their eyes. “i know that i-i just need to hear it from you in order to move on. “ he looked you dead in the eye. “ i dont love you anymore. i love yena.” you didnt expect the second part at all. it hit you so hard you couldnt hold it together anymore. “y/n im so sorr-“ yena said as she attempted to hold onto your arm. funny how the hands that once brought you comfort was now seen as disgusting by you. “dont touch me !” yena looked away guiltily. “lets break up y/n. im sorry things turned out this way. “ seungmin said as he handed you a tissue. at least he wasnt THAT heartless. “i always knew you loved her. even more than you loved me. have a good life. the both of you.” and with that, you walked out forever, never looking back.
perm taglist: @soobin-chois @aksemy @ja4hyvn
all works here are strictly mine. please do not translate or steal them without permission. © kyyuri
all works here are strictly mine. please do not translate or steal them without permission. © kyyuri
#straykids imagines#straykids#stray kids#stray kids scenarios#stray kids angst#skz seungmin#straykids seungmin#skz fanfic#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz angst#skz#seungmin angst#seungmin imagines#seungmin#kim seungmin#skz stay#stay skz#skz fluff#straykids fluff#seungmin fluff#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#felix lee
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For the ask game, 🎥 and 💎
ok there are WAY too many to list them all bc the show has so many good moments but i gotta say one of my all time favorites has gotta be the scene in the last mabelcorn right after dipper reads fords thoughts, like the lighting the background how TENSE it was. fords dialogue was purposely ambiguous so the viewer is just as unsure as dipper is (if i remember correctly jason ritter said he wasnt even sure if it was bill or not when he saw the episode) and it really gives a sudden sense of fear of like Oh Shit Is Ford A Villain???? i also LOVE the background from that scene like if you zoom in theres so many little details its incredible. really really good i think
ok ive seen like every piece of behind the scenes content (speaking of which i should rewatch the commentaries) so there are so many facts in my brain but one that idk how many people know and is really a testament to how good the writers of the show were is that yknow how bill is everywhere in the show from the beginning? and the zodiac is in the title sequence since the first episode? well FUN FACT they didnt even know if bill was gonna be a character yet. they just liked the symbol and wanted to put it places. the show got a 7 episode headstart, so they were working on a lot of the early episodes around the same time (which is how they were able to put blendin in the background) and they basically just took symbols from those episodes and made the zodiac. as you probably know everyone was immediately making theories about bill and the zodiac and being like Whats this guys deal? so when the time came for bill to be introduced, everyone went bonkers over him and the crew realized in season 2 that rather than their original plan to have a different final villain, it would make much more sense and have a much better payoff to have the character that is already in the heads of all the characters and all the fans!!! i just think thats really cool :D
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photographer!ni-ki
pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader
genre: fluff, comedy
description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you
for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!
———
“y/n!”
you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am
it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..
you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes
“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands
right
u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki
shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!
WELP
u dont even have a choice anymore
u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms
shes so soft and fluffy
though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house
you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction
so
the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house
and it was actually a really pretty park...
there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches
and a nice open field of greenery
it basically looked like a park out of a movie
so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there
but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people
you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash
let the walking begin!!!!
it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold
you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her
whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was
it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake
you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery
until u caught sight of a boy
u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder
he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot
he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it
it was a beautiful sight honestly
there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes
u understood why he’d take pictures of it
you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki
basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again
OH BOY U WERE WRONG
the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park
you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner
the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below
this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos
and you noticed the same boy again
this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands
his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken
‘oh its him again’ u thought
and that was it
LOL
u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki
so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again
you wanted to take suki on a quick walk
but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought
suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone
it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park
the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already
it was super pretty and the weather was nice
after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around
and u saw Him again
wow
why do u keep seeing him !?!?!
his back was faced towards u like always
and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny
but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore
you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing
and he
turned
around
for the first time EVER!!!!
its like he sensed someone staring at him
but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand
the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera
it was a larger black one
definitely more expensive
Awe good for him!!!!!
and then u glanced up to see his face
and u made EYE CONTACT
u looked away so fast
because
He was SO CUTE.............
u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him
‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’
hopefully he didnt notice
*nervously sweats*
u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki
eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home
U were still kind of thinking about that boy....
so u were like
i need to go back
and u did Lol
u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki
it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful
perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos
*evil laugh*
u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((
the one time u go there for HIM
u settled down under a tree
suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too
you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing
playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky
it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink
U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki
you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u
and
let me tell u what Happened..
u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like
‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head
and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right
idk bc u felt like it
AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????
THE BOY
LIKE 20 FEET AWAY
STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD
AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE
and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!
as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down
he like
Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that
he was embarrassed
ur cheeks were turning so red
BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE
was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um
he cleared that up BECAUSE
He started walking over to u
he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse
and a gray sweater with a black coat over it
HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK
ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{
n he just Plop
he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree
suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???
u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly
he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck
“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it
u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️
“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”
u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer
“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him
u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke
“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket
WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...
“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u
“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him
he grinned and pet her before looking up at you
“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute
“y/n” you smiled
“suki seems to like you” u laughed
“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”
“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki
u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too
“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him
his eyes light up when u say that
“yeah!”
AWE HES SO EXCITED
he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons
“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh
“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”
he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device
“woah” you let out a gasp
he showed u the picture he took of you first
How does a picture look better than real life...
you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it
“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says
“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped
“thanks”
“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture
“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin
SMOOTH.....
he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed
you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go
“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up
suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up
“i had fun too” you smile
“would you like me to walk you to your car?”
A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!
“oh yeah, thanks”
you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you
you reached your car and thanked him
“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”
“thank you..”
ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face
he is just the cutest thing ever
you definitely need to see him again
#IM SO BAD AT ENDINGS#BUT#HAPPY BIRTHDAY NI-KI#BELATED BIRTHDAY#SORRY IM LATE#I LOVE U#enhypen#enhypen niki#enhypen imagine#enhypen imagines#niki imagines#enhypen scenario#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#niki x reader#enhypen reactions#enhypen requests#enhypen blurbs#enhypen drabbles#kpop#kpop imagine#enhypen headcanons
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
#wonder egg priority#wonder egg spoilers#ai ohto#rika kawai#momoe sawaki#wonder egg priority neiru#i forgot neirus name#anime review#wonder egg ai#lgbtq anime
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