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#its not all thats good but its edible
adharastarlight · 6 months
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Reg: excuse you, I'm very normal.
Sirius: when did that happen?
Reg: you know what, fuck you.
Sirius: see reggie, it's not normal to be so aggres-
Reg starts cursing him in multiple ancient langauges
James: *heart eyes*
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delicourse · 11 months
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lilac season
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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sibling art pt 2!!!
second ask of the day and please do not feel obliged to answer either I just think you deserve to see this
they captioned this one "in honour of og Fairy being a dog"
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The sensitive stomach of a dog girls VS the urge to eat whatever falls on the floor
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it
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whitedemon-ladydeath · 6 months
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man I thought I had made it p clear that doing something you know I'm not gonna like and then not Saying something about it was lying by omission. I'm not gonna like it either way but I'd rather still know than get accidently blindsided by it and feel like it's something being Hidden from Me and done behind my back
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be-good-to-bugs · 8 days
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one day everything is gonna be better!
#the bin#maybe after i move i can get a therapist again. thatd be good.#its weird how worried i get over a lot of things and i dont wanna do them bc of potential negative affects or judgment from others#includibg people who i dislike. but then my response to half of my stress is considering suicide#i dont attempt it much now bc im lacking most methods. i used to a whole lot. and yet i get so concerned over comparatively little things#i worry abt the negative affects of dxm which i want to tey oit so i have a waybto feel better so i dont kill myself#yknow honestly. i think any negative affects it might have are a lot better than being dead. and i get woreied abt money and my sister being#weird abt how much weed i have (which isnt even that much) but it helps me not want to die so. like. those issues are small in comparison#i get worried abt the fact i cant feel better without getting high but like. my life DOES suck. i have a lot of reasons to feel awful#and literally no support from any people. its not good if getting high is the only thing that makes me not wanna kill myself but at least it#stops me from doing that. thats better than death! itd be nice uf i had a healthier solition but i dont#not getting high doesnt make me depressed. but im always depressed from other things and i have nobody to talk to at all and i wanna die#so whatever helps is worth it. i was very much so raised in a 'if this substance stops you from wnatibg to kill yourself then you have a#severe problem and you have to stop using it immediately' which is stupid. self medicating like this isnt great but its still a valid option#if i was able to tuen of the 'i want to die' at will then id do it but i cant and any distraction is a welcome one.#idk when ill see my sister next. hopefully next week. she beeds to stop by and get her card anyway. ill probably ask to bring some groceries#and edibles by when that happens. she gets super weird abt me and weed and it sucks. but thats a her problem. sbe doenst need to get it
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headspace-hotel · 4 months
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you know how people say "cats domesticated themselves?" I find this statement irksome because as i've been studying plants and particularly weeds, a theory has slowly been forming in my head about domestication that makes a lot more sense than other theories.
Basically, I think everything domesticated itself. Or rather, domestication involves adaptation and active participation on both sides.
Evidence for this is found in studying weed and crop plants—truth be told, most weeds are or were also crops.
Amaranthus, the genus that gives us the most costly USA agricultural weeds? All edible and healthy, and several members of the genus are domesticated. They were staple crops for Mesoamerican empires.
Kudzu, the vine so aggressive in the USA it turns trees into looming kudzu monoliths? It's been bred and cultivated by humans since the Neolithic in its native range, in China it was one of the main sources of fiber for cloth for MILLENNIA to the point that the Zhou dynasty had a whole government office of kudzu affairs. Kudzu roots are edible and they can be as tall as a human and weighing over 200 pounds, you can make them into flour, make noodles out of the flour, you can process them down into a starch and use it just like potato or tapioca starch and make all sorts of sauces and confections and stuff out of it. In Japan it was used for clothes too, if you see pictures of clothes worn by a samurai that's probably kudzu! It has loads of unresearched phytochemicals that probably have medicinal use, it's good for making paper, a researcher even made a biodegradable alternative to plastic out of it
Yellow Nutsedge is a food crop, Purslane is a food crop, at least some species of morning-glories are food crops, crabgrass is a food crop, Nettles are food AND fiber, Milkweed is food and fiber too, Broadleaf Plantain is food and medicinal, Dandelion is food and medicinal AND great companion plant (they used to sell them in seed catalogues around the 1890's or so!) and have y'all ever seen queen-anne's-lace along the side of the road? THATS CARROTS. That's the wild ancestor of carrots! (ofc don't eat anything you aren't 1000% sure you can identify)
Simply put. A weed is a plant that has co-evolved with humans. And most of them are Like That because they co-evolved with us. And honestly I reckon that many plants were domesticated in the first place because they liked to grow in disturbed environments near human settlements and agricultural fields.
Now thinking about this in terms of animals...when our domestic species were first domesticated, there weren't fences, there wasn't "inside" or any controlled environment to bring animals into, and if you tried to overpower or coerce any of those species, they would 100% just kill you. It makes a lot more sense if the humans were just following herds around, and it gradually developed into protecting those herds from predators and tending to them more intentionally until we were kind of just part of the herds ourselves.
a lot of people are familiar with Biblical stories and metaphors about shepherds...it's clear those guys were basically living with sheep 24/7. They were assimilated to the sheep lifestyle.
this theory kinda suggests that we've lost the ability to domesticate new animal species to some extent because domestication has never really involved removing an animal from its natural environment. Feeding wild animals and trying to socialize them to humans isn't in line with the mutualistic nature of domestication because it's trying to change the animal to our whims, and usually decreases the fitness of the animal rather than increases it. And domestication probably takes a long long time to reach the level where an animal can be a "pet" instead of a more distant form of domestication where the association is not as close.
EXCEPT. Animals that adapt to our environment are prime candidates for domestication. This actually checks out because rats and mice are some of the most recently domesticated animals, iirc. Basically, pest animals are the most likely to be domesticated because they've already started evolving into a relationship with us. Just like weeds.
An interesting side note is how both animals and plants can de-domesticate and become "weeds/pests" again. Like "weedy rice" is becoming a problem in some crops where rice has evolved into a weed. And with animals, there's pigeons who were domesticated by us and now their habitat is cities because they co-evolved with us.
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katamarigender · 1 year
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Now that I've been in a meatcutting/sausage making place I can pretty confidently say that no they do not put random gross animal parts into ground meat. Unless you want to wreck your grinder or spend extra time cleaning it you are not putting random bones or tendons or skin in there. Ground meat is pretty much just fat and skeletal muscle.
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wibta if i keep having sex with my friends dad? nsfw warning
i (20s cismale) got invited by my friend (20s nonbinary) to try out some new edibles they made last thursday. this isnt too weird because both of us are unemployed (they get disability, i get money from unemployment, and we both live with our parents) and usually during the day their dad (50s cismale) is at work so we get the house to ourselves. well last thursday was different because i came over late in the night when their dad was home, and he offered to make me some dinner too. i get the munchies really bad so i was immediately like yes please and thank you while i fucked off to my friends room. we played some smash bros while we waited for the cookies to kick in, and when it started to hit his dad called us both out for dinner. dinner was great, and his dad is super chill — so he let us raid his alcohol cabinet. i dont think he knew either of us were stoned for the record (im naturally really quiet/dont make eye contact, my friend sounds high 24/7 naturally) so i dont think he was like trying to get anyone drunk or anything. my tolerance is pretty good but my friends is shit so it didnt take long until they were like blackout drunk and passing out on the couch, while their dad and i were both drunk too (not blackout but pretty drunk, and i was still high) and sitting on the opposite side of the couch next to eachother
important fact about me - i crossdress like femboys or whatever theyre called. i like looking really feminine and cute and confusing people. im not trans or anything like that gender is just a game and i am winning it. but i do tend to dress up in very egirl/goth gf clothes if you know what i mean, and i look pretty convincing ive been told (friend tells me i would pass for ciswoman with the makeup on). i think their dad maybe forgot that i was me (he usually sees me in boy clothes) and he started hitting on me? i didnt think i was gay or bi either until he started doing it and i got really flustered but i didnt stop him? again i was fucked up so the attention felt really nice despite it being my friends dad. but anyways he kept getting closer until he kissed me, and it felt nice so i let it keep going? which was probably super fucked up in retrospect. but anyways stuff gets hot and steamy, their dad doesnt bother lifting up my skirt, one thing leads to another and we have sex. he definitely noticed im not a girl during that (its pretty hard to miss lol) but he didnt stop so we kept going for a while
after we were done he and i passed out on the couch in a kind of awkward position, we both woke up in the morning and i think thats when he realized im me, but he didnt seem to freak out even though hes straight?? or at least i thought he was straight. but we had sex again in the morning and then when my friend woke up we all had breakfast and i went back to my friends room and we hung out more and got high again. while we were though i accidentally spilled the beans to my friend, and they FREAKED out on me and said that i was so gross for doing that, and they cant believe that it happened, stuff like that. they kicked me out of their room and their dad had to drive me home because i was shaking bad from it. but while their dad drove me home i was super pissed and mad and not thinking straight (haha) and so i tried to convince their dad to take a detour so we could fuck again. and he was like, okay sure, so we did?? but now i feel horrible for doing it knowing that it grossed my friend out so much, but i really like their dad and he seems to like me too, and i want to keep banging him :(
What are these acronyms?
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shuahaes · 8 months
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baking w/ the hip-hop unit!
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svt hhu x reader; established relationship; all fluff, sfw
HHU | VCU | PFU
warning: only food mentions, otherwise its all just fluff + unhinged wonwoo in his part !! not proofread btw !!
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CHOI SEUNGCHEOL (S.COUPS)
hes so excited to bake a cake w his baby 🥺
but this man gets so pouty so easily
he'd prob drop an egg and get pouty or accidentally spill flour on the counter
but he'd try his best to be helpful yk
trying to follow the recipe as best he can
and if u even SIGH out of slight annoyance while trying to mix the batter
he WILL be taking the beater from u and doing it for u
would also do his best to give u a massage afterwards
he says he'll take them out of the oven for u bc he doesnt want u to feel the heat from it so he does it (while wearing mitts ofc)
and then he gets pouty bc its too hot
even tho he wanted to do it 💀
definitely pouty if the cake was deformed
would def help u clean up the mess
CUDDLES AFTER 🥺
JEON WONWOO
i am a firm believer of unhinged wonwoo with his s/o
like yes he'd follow the recipe
but what if he's in a silly goofy mood
would probably say he's an expert baker because he played cooking mama every day for two weeks 💀
prob says "f**k the recipe, i'll bake like cooking mama"
but still follows the recipe bc of you
maybe heart shaped cookies (like that one picture)*
gives u a kiss after bc the cookies were so good
KIM MINGYU
this man is a klutz but also an amazing chef??
most definitely the best baker in hhu
but not without almost breaking your stand mixer
or getting batter all over the counter and some splattering on the walls 😔
cracked an egg but when he went to put the yolk in another bowl for the recipe, it exploded
dw though, your desserts turned out fine
he was pouty abt the stand mixer almost breaking (BUT ITS FINE)
but thats nothing cuddles cant solve, isn't it?
CHWE HANSOL (VERNON)
its vernon.
there is a very low chance that the dessert will end up edible
why?
because he will most definitely forget to read the recipe measurements and it might end up so sweet that it'll give you a cavity within the first bite
or it could end up as him putting too much salt instead of sugar
reason being, the poor boy couldnt tell the difference bc he missed the jars labels 😭
it may not end up edible
but its the thought that counts, right?
at least he helped his beautiful s/o 🤩
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A/N - FINALY DID THE HHU VER!! omg posting this in the daytime instead of the dead of night? im so proud of myself 🤭 a huge thank u to @kwantaro mahi <3 for helping me come with a few of the hcs, so ty mahi !!
*this photo of wonwoo that i was talking about
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Dealing with the Eel Twins.
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Jade Leech x Reader x Floyd Leech
You are pretty much stoic in anyway, hoping that you won’t get or attract any attention from others. A certain DUO decided to mess with you.
———
You may think it’s strange really, casually repeating your daily activities till the next situation of overblots. But ever since you took care of Azul’s overblot, you are greeted by the twins left and right no matter where you go.
Well I guess you can say that you caught the eels on your net.
How did it happen in the first place? You just did what you were told my Headmaster (also irresponsible) Crowley for giving you a biggest threat that would count as your next trauma, but to think that the Leech twins appear to you just to not only get your attention, but in every detail that you have and they don’t.
You had zero idea how did Azul get used to the twins and got them under control so well without going haywire.
But when you told your situation to Azul, he was surprised but he just laughs it off and tell you that you got their attention thats all.
But how can you tell?
Floyd is a squeeze addict that he can squeeze you when he is in a very good mood and wants to enjoy your touch and hugs, you do wanted to hide but you can��t since you do admit you find him cute. Plus for some reason, I think he can use his magic to act like you were very strong when you are carrying him in a squeeze hug but that is beside the point. But Floyd DOES appreciate your company when you were still there concerned when he is in a very bad mood, letting him rest his head on your shoulder while your hugging him does comfort him one at a time it never fails to make Floyd pause and realize that he enjoyed squeezing you.
Jade is pretty hard to predict, how should I say this without offending him. He IS polite but he can be chaotic at times, heck he enjoys the chaos everyone has in store so it just makes him ….a but unique. But to think that Jade falls for you is honestly interesting, there are many opportunities that it can happen and yet here you are with him. Not to mention that Jade does pay more attention to you more than the others so..thats a change? Jade would pay attention to your needs and what you need in exchange for his attention, after all who wouldn’t resist on going on a peaceful hiking with Jade just to find edible mushrooms.
But if the two combined, its an interesting story that even Azul is trying to cope with the newest chaos the twins can make.
One at the time the twins want your attention to themselves that they find fighting each other in the monstro lounge that it gave Azul new headaches. Heck he evenly witnessed the twins going crazy in the fight because your playing attention to one of the twins instead of the other.
If you can imagine yourself charming both the eels it would make things a good or bad thing escalate. After all one of the twins wants your attention more than anything even tho they can disobey Azul from one at a time.
But if you cant handle the twins being a bit too much. Please don’t hesitate to call Azul.
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sturniolojpg · 6 months
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— boyfriend! matt sturniolo
pairing: matt sturniolo × reader
warnings: sfw & nsfw!! i put a divider for ya
notes: first time doing a headcannon i normally write oneshots so sorry if its like?? all over the place?? not proof read
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♥︎. when he needs someone to talk to, you’re there & vise versa. being so close with his brothers he’s learnt the importance of communicating and it’s become a super important thing to him. he’d rather admit he’s wrong or have you admit you’re wrong than go to bed upset with each other. he hates leaving fights unresolved.
♥︎. he holds your hand in public all the time. he’s gotta be touching some part of you. whether its locking pinkies or standing right up on each other. he just loves you tewww much to be not touching you when its an option! if nobody’s around he’ll throw in an ass grab here and there but never if people are there, he’s not a fan of that kind of pda
♥︎. passenger princess ALWAYS. which annoys you at times because you do like driving but if he’s with you, he wants to take over. he likes doing stuff for you and you let him bc look at his face!!!
♥︎. you constantly catch him starring at your face. when i say this man is OBSESSED with you, i mean it. you’re his favorite person ever. most important too (according to him after a late night conversation).
“mmm before your brothers?” you teased him after the admission. obviously, you were joking. that wasn’t something you excepted or cared about. what followed was the opposite of what you thought. “that’s right princess, you're before them. never tell them that i said that."
“fucking liar,” you chuckled. he joined in the laughter, placing a soft kiss on your nose.
♥︎. quality time is his favorite. he loves to be with you, doesn’t matter if you’re doing something or not. all he cares about is that he’s with you!
he hates baking because he’s bad at it but you love it and can actually make something edible so he bakes with you all the time.
you’re also pretty good with nail art so instead of going to a professional he lets you do his, extra time to just sit and stare at your pretty face!
when he’s playing video games you’ll spend that time reading your books (a hobby he can’t quite grasp but you love it so he loves it for you) - or you’ll join him if it’s a game you know how to play. you both just like being around the other.
♥︎. dating a public figure has its faults and the biggest one for you was a portion of his fans hating you. it felt like he wasn’t allowed to fully be your boyfriend because of some weird parasocial relationship others had with him. (me fr bc thats my man idc!!!😅) he comforts you with this 24/7 though & shows you in more ways than one that he is fully yours and you’re fully his.
♥︎. your laugh is the best medicine for him. he could anxious, sad, mad, etc, and with just the mere sound of your laughter he’ll be okay again. it’s his favorite song in the soundtrack of his life. he’d listen to it all day everyday. he tries to get you to laugh 24/7 & it works because you’re down bad, you think everything he does is hilarious, intentionally or not.
♥︎. you do little try on hauls for him when you go thrifting and always give him a runway show. he loves it, you’re the most adorable girl in the world in his eyes. he loves how comfortable you are with him and that you feel okay doing things considered to be “childish” with him.
♥︎. dirty jokes never go over his head and you love it. it could be the most niche thing in the world and they’ll always land with his slutty minded ass.
♥︎. he’s a silent jealously type, if a guys flirting with you he’ll stay quiet and just get more possessive via pda. he’s confrontational when he needs to be but doesn’t want to cause a scene over what he knows deep down is nothing. he knows it’s a price to pay when you’re with a FINEEEE ass bitch.
♥︎. when you’re back home though? the man is not hesitate to start an argument with you but it ends just as fast as it started, you both can’t be mad at each other for longer than 10 minutes. he’ll also give you make up kisses allll over your face.
HORNY BELOWWW, i’m not your parent but rwc
♥︎. or makeup sex. makeup sex is always an option. it’s actually your favorite way for him to apologize & his, you. you love the mans body! god forbid! it’s like all thoughts just leave your brain when you see him naked, he could get away with anything because you’re forever a ditzy girl around him unclothed.
♥︎. bro LIVES for when you ride him. he loves titties so being able to fuck you AND have your tits bounce in his face? closest thing to heaven.
♥︎. car sex 80% of the time. you both love the thrill of possibly getting caught but still maintaining a sense of privacy. plus it’s the only time you can be as loud as you want to. (he feels a lil bad afterwards though and makes sure to clean all the seats before his brothers get in)
♥︎. he’s a sucker for you in lingerie. he buys you some online all the time to surprise you. he loves when you give him a try on haul. it typically ends with him fucking you raw!! 🤗
♥︎. he hates when you get insecure. like HATES. he thinks you’re the most perfect person to exist and will not hesitate to overstim you so you can see just how much he practically worships you.
♥︎. speaking of overstim…. one night he’d gone so far that you squirted for the first time. since then he’d do absolutely anything to get you to do it. he finds it so hot and it’s such an ego boost that you did it for the first time with him. his new favorite thing about sex became when you soak his face.
♥︎. this!! man!! loves!! giving!! head!! your pleasure is his pleasure. he does it so well and makes you feel too good, you couldn’t possibly tell him no when he asks to eat you out at the most irregular times. he knows his way around your body and its the best thing in the world for both of you.
♥︎. morning sex is just…. like a staple of your relationship. it could be soft or rough, depends on how you both feel and just how far into it y’all get. it happens almost every morning. he’s always down for it and you’re always horny! (how could you not be when you sleep next to him?!)
♥︎. he is SO good with subtly turning you on. he knows exactly what you like and exactly what he’s doing when he does certain movements and gestures with his hands. he’ll post certain photos well aware of how insane you get with certain poses. he’s arguably more of a whore than you are and that’s saying… a lot. 😛😛
♥︎. turning him on is pretty easy, especially because of how much he loves everything about you. the sheer sight of you gives him a boner. you in a tight dress that hugs all the right curves?? practically nutting in his pants
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desire-mona · 6 months
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abed headcanons because im autistic and bitches be projecting
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big fan of deep pressure, has a weighted blanket but ideally someones putting all their body weight on top of him
can drive but hates it because its FUCKING BORIIIIINNNGGG
doesn't have a very expansive music taste, when he likes a song he listens to it on loop for weeks
has received the same novelty popcorn bucket as a gift 10+ times bc his relatives have no idea what to give him and just google "gifts for movie lovers"
britta offered him an edible one (1) total time and he got so overstimulated he passed out and slept for 15 hours
has ARFID and there's a list of his safe foods on the fridge in the trobedison apartment
has very sweaty hands. like if you high five him it'll splash. troy is used to it (cuz they hold hands) but if anyone else finds out theyre like AH OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU DAMP
either loves or hates scott pilgrim vs. the world. i cant decide so neither can he.
reads the books that have movie adaptations bc dedication but doesn't have a great time
has a head jerk tic when he's cold (i have this too its very annoying)
"troy and abed in the mooooornin" vocal stim at random times
FFFFFUCKING LOVED trick or treating as a kid cuz the interactions were so cut and dry. "trick or treat" and "thank you". Perfect.
nobody is ever allowed to touch his feet. ever. under any circumstances.
lucid dreams basically every night but thinks thats just what Normal Dreaming is
got along very well with his teachers. "delight to have in class" energy
#1 sherpa hater, the most evil texture
always bites his nails bc the thought of long nails makes him wanna throw up
hate hate hates the smell of drool or saliva in general
compulsive hand washer, especially after touching a bad texture
has glasses but doesn't wear them. the feeling of anything on his face is Not Good
in the same vein, has a love hate relationship with headphones cuz they hurt his ears after a while
gets viscerally angry when someone says male gaze/ female gaze in reference to a real person. its a film term!!
has been told on many occasions that he has a "nice podcasting voice"
often pirates new movies because movie theatres are a nightmare but he will Pass Away if he hears spoilers
hhhhhhHHHHHAAAAAAATES opening gifts at parties cuz he has no idea how to react
shaves his legs bc if he feels hair against his pants he Will have a breakdown
wore the same pyjamas Every Single Night for a year as a kid
was a shorts year round kid in middle school
probably nonbinary but thats neither here nor there
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sinning-23 · 6 months
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Blowing Bubbles Blowing ZAZA
OPLA headcannons whre y/n for some reason has an ungodly amout of ouid stashed...but always offers because sharing is caring.
Warnings: uhhh some oiud, mentions of slightly nsfw topics, uhhhh yeah thats about it.
Zoro
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-Ok so.....he knows that smell, but why the hell was it coming from your room.
-He doesn't knock, just kinda cracks the door open, and there you are eyes wide like you'd been caught (technically you have) but that didn't matter.
-What DID matter was that you were smoking two blunts at once and took one out of your mouth to offer him.
-He hesitates only for a second but accepts it, closing the door behind him.
-HOT BOX HOT BOX HOT BOX
-I mean this mfs eyes are bloodshot with a satiisfies smile on his face.
-"Where did you even get this?' His voice seems slightly deeper now.
-"Stole it. Good shit tho." You sigh, the two of you laid out, staring up at the ceiling that seems to be warping before your very eyes.
-There's a silence but it's comfortable...until it's not, Zoro cutting through it
-'Do you think god stays in heaven cause he's scared of his creation?"
Sanji
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-You already tried to convince him this was better than any cancer stick he's put in his body but he's not one to dabble in that.
-"You can make it butter. Infuse it. Boom edibles." you suggest, passing him the ziplock back with a wiggle of your eyebrows.
-"C'mon chef boyardee, hook it up?"
-Ok so it was far more tempting than he thought and damn did he get carried away fast. Like...way too fast.
-THIS MF COOK A FULL MEAL...ALL OF IT INFUSED. Ohhh you're all fucked up. I mean REALLLY fucked up
-Zoro is knocked out, sleeping in the most uncomfortable position. I mean he's folded like a goddamn omelet with the hilt of his sword acting as a pillow.
-Luffys got his arms stretched out in one big puddle trying to untangle them
-Nami is doing circles around the ship looking at her compass needle, trying to figure out why 'Weast" isn't labeled
-And the two of you giggle away, opening and closing the fridge to try and catch the light go off and on inside.
-It's a gawd damn mess and technically your fault for giving THE CHEF A BAG OF WEED TO USE IRRESPONSIBLY
Luffy
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-He found it completely by accident and thought it was food.
-ATE THE NUG. HE. ATE. IT.
-"Well, I don't know why you keep a bag of lettuce in your room, but I was hungry so I ate it. I think it's gone bad by the way. so... you're welcome!"
-You freeze, turning got him in a way that's damn near comical.
-"YOU WHAT?!"
-Oooooh hes fucked up, it takes less than an hour for it to kick in and the whole time he's a mess of tangles, stretched-out libs, asking questions that make no sense to anyone but him.
-"If I like.....stretch my stomach can I eat more than usual or...would I have to stay stretched like that until it's digested?"
-Starts to panic just a pinch because he said his 'hands don't match'
-Que him flipping his hands back and forth for the next hour
Nami
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-Only smoked because you offered...and because she hasn't in a while
-Surprizingly knows some cool tricks.
-Opts to take her rolling tray out of its hiding place. Hooray for a new smoke buddy!
-She's actually really calm and relaxed when she smokes. can hold a normal conversation, she just seems a bit sleepy.
-Already prepared with food from the kitchen cause she knows she gets the munchies and already had an incident where she tried to cook while high anddd it backfired.
-Is also very creative. She keeps a sketchbook with pages of mandalas she drew under the influence. Unfortunately, it's only a talent she possesses when high as a kite.
Usopp
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-Scam or not the lady at the booth said it was a very nice vase for a unique kind of flower. The plan was to gift it to you with said flower but uhhh... he couldn't find it. That is until you spotted it in his room.
-"Yooo I didn't know you dabble uUo! I would've shared my stash sooner!"
-Whatchu talking bout Willis?
-"What? No no, the lady said this was a vase for a special kind of flower and- Ohhhhh."
-He pauses, giving a nod and clearing his throat.
-Did you just teach Usopp what a bong is and how to use it???
-He gets terrible munchies after and can't decide whether he wants something out the kitchen or to simply eat you up because you already a snack (oop girl hold on-)
-If hes not horned up he's paranoid. No inbetween. literally like, "They're in the walls!" paranoid or "I'm in your walls" just nastyyy
Shanks
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-Ouid you say? Zaza? The devil's lettuce? Oh, he will be partaking.
-Will fuck up the rotation. Not on purpose tho, it's just been a while since he'd done this.
-Was kinda a pothead in his youth. These days the closest he can get is a CBD ointment he uses for soreness in his back and shoulders.
-So when he catches you with quite literally the FATTEST joint he has ever seen in his life he can't help but join in.
-"There's no way you're smoking that by yourself." He chuckles, sitting crisscross beside you as you begin to pass t back and forth
-Please don't try to outsmoke him. You will lose and green out way before he does sweetie.
-Shotgunning, that's all I have to say.
-He gets kinda freakayyyy when he's high, so just expect wandering hands and some deep, passionate kisses.
Buggy
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-Oh you stole it from someone and he stole it for you because wtf? You're supposed to offer your Captain the shit you steal that totally a rule.
-You don't say anything when the bag goes missing but you do smell your precious green coming from your Captain's quarters.
-You knock, hearing a light cough, and then 'come in"
-THIS MF IS SMOKING ALL YOUR SHIT.!THE SHIT YOU WORKED HARD TO STEAL!
-"So you were gonna keep this little gem a secret from me? I'd laugh in your face right now but I feel like I'm gonna cough up a lung" He strains, very obviously holding back a series of coughs.
-He doesn't seem upset and passes the joint to you with a welcoming smile.
-Who tf else did you think Shanks would smoke with back in the day?
-For once he's not talkative, just enjoying the feeling of complete relaxation. It's like he turns his brain off for a moment. he needs it honestly.
-Is literally the BEST at rolling. Like every time it's a perfect, photo-worthy blunt.
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l30ra · 5 months
Text
My fav domestic chainshipping headcanons :3
they decided to not move in together right away because they both needed to return to their regular daily routines for a bit to process the trauma before making such a massive change
(they're both autistic. this is important)
(extremely scheduled x extremely unscheduled bfs)
despite that, Lawrence would visit Adam almost everyday, as Adam struggled to get out of the house more and Lawrences divorce still needed to be finalized
After visiting Adam, Lawrence realizes he has... absolutely terrible habits in his home;
Barely any furniture, unstocked kitchen, not done laundry, etc.
And the worst offender of all: the paper plates
Adam absolutely HAAAATES doing the dishes, so for as long as he's been living independently, hes always eaten off paper plates, to throw them away afterwards
or.. to not? One night after a dinner Lawrence had made, with groceries Lawrence had brought over, Adam starts tearing up the plate and just starts. Eating it.
He was eating the paper plates. Because he thought they were food safe (they aren't)
"Hey, are you going to eat that?"
"Adam, my plate is empty. What do you mean?"
"The plate dumbass.. if you aren't, give it to me, I'll have it."
"Adam... Paper plates are very.. not edible."
"They say 'food safe on the box? That means they're edible. You sound dumb lol"
Lawrence immediately makes plans to take him shopping for actual dishware, all the while going on a ramble of the potential impacts of eating such things!
he decides then also to try and set Adam up on a good schedule, because he knows he'll be away for a few weeks as he finishes moving out of his old house, and he won't be able to see him
Adam says he'll only use plates if they're fun colored or with cool designs so.. thats what they get!
they also end up getting him one of those chore chart things
lawrence insists its not because Adams a baby, its just because he will literally forget to do certain things otherwise
lawrence has a great memory and a strict routine he always follows but adam (probably due to years of smoking the good lord green) has a shit memory and struggles to follow a routine but desperately needs one
Lawrence promises if Adam gets all his stuff done while hes gone they'll go out an do something
Lawrence LOVES plants, and Adam loves taking photos of him, so he chooses a botanical garden
Lawrence loves it, obviously, and Adam takes loads of photos of him to put in the scrapbook he refuses to show Lawrence
Speaking of, he loves scrapbooking, and still takes stalker-y candid photos of Lawrence (old habits die hard, I guess), so he scrapbooks loads about Lawrence
but he keeps it shut TIGHT. he refuses to tell Lawrence, and hides the scrapbooks at the back of his closet in the spare room he converted into a photo development room
Lawrence has some idea about Adam taking photos of him, but not to that extent
Once they finally move in together, they end up getting a three bedroom apartment. One room for them to share, and then a room for Lawrences plants, and a room for Adams photography
Lawrences room is filled with shelves and shelves on shelves of propagating plants and herbs
Adam begs him to grow weed, but Lawrence always says no
Despite having a room dedicated to it, the entire house is filled with plants, including Adams photography room because some of his plants grow better in little to no light
Despite that, he absolutely NEVER goes in there without explicit permission from Adam. He respects his privacy IMMENSELY
Even then, He probably won't even go in unless Adam is there to supervise
Whenever he goes in there, he always chastises Adam about all the chemicals, telling him he really should be using a mask, be careful with that one and that one, and you really should be airing this room out
despite the divorce, Alison and Lawrence are still on good terms
They talked things over after Lawrence escaped the trap, and ended up at "Even though we still care for each other we don't love each other and thats alright because we can just carry things on platonically"
he still sees Diana as often as possible, and Diana loves Adam
"Heres my mom and my dad and my dads boyfriend!"
Adam LOVES showing up to her school events (sports, talent shows, etc) with Alison and Lawrence and bringing his super fancy cameras so he can take action shots of her because she thinks its SO COOL
Her and Adam make Lawrence take them to laser tag and amusement parks n shit
Lawrence loves that they get along, and it means so much to him that Adam gets involved so much in Dianas life
He feels bad sometimes though, because he worries Diana blames them both (Adam and Lawrence) for the divorce, no matter how healthy it was
Adam calls Lawrence dude and bro, with the occasional babe
Lawrence calls Adam dear and love
Adam always wears his heart on his sleeve around Lawrence, and although sometimes he struggles with it, Lawrence tries to do the same
Lawrences odd work hours actually work better in the couples favor, because of Adams insomnia and other sleep issues, he also keeps extremely irregular hours
Despite that, sometimes there are still days on end where they just go without seeing each other, whether it be because Lawrence was out while Adam was awake or Adam was awake in between Lawrences shift
In the meantime, they leave little post it notes for each other
yellow is Lawrences color and blue is Adams color (blue and yellow by the used... starts tearing out clumps of my hair. thats a them song.)
Adam will wait up on the couch for Lawrence to get home but sometimes he just... passes out there... so Lawrence carries him to their bed
They share a wardrobe for the most part. They do have different tastes when it comes to style but theres still some overlap in some areas
Lawrence doesn't actually have a drivers license, and he hates driving
Adam knows how to drive but doesn't have his license and thinks its too much of a hassle to get one so him and Lawrence just transit together
back to the botanical idea... Adam loves buying Lawrence flowers. But not bouquets, Lawrence hates Bouquets because they die so fast, so Adam buys him little potted flowers for him
Lawrence has an entire shelf in his green room just for the things Adam brings him
Thats all I have for now but... maybe part two if I think of anything more :3
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ceruleancattail · 11 months
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id like to ask for a fluffy nymphleech fic with this premise, if thats alright :)c ; Jade isn't allowed to use customers as test subjects but no one can stop him: which has only gotten worse because now i fully support him and play into it further whenever we feel like it.
anddd if you'd want an idea of how that looks like sometimes;
Jade cooking w mushrooms: ^^
Me, sliding the dish onto a table: "Enjoy!" ^^
student A, sweat-dropping: "... are those edible?-"
Me, stabbing a fork into a mushroom: "Only one way to find out." [shoves it into student A's mouth]
ty very much if you'll accept the request, its alright if not tho! :D
Jade with a s/o who terrorises the Mostro Lounge with him
Jade x reader
Sometimes, you do truly love your boyfriend.
The way he strikes such a regal pose in the kitchen, apron string tied securely around that slender waist of his. His hands moving with carefully practised poise. The way the lean muscles on his arms flexes ever so slightly when he slices up mushrooms, dicing them effortlessly.
Efficient in the kitchen.
Effective?
That remains to be seen.
It’s hard to call him effective when Jade cooks whatever his heart desires. Exotic mushrooms of all shapes and sizes, saluted to perfection. He’ll serve dishes so delicate, they almost look too good to eat.
Honestly, it’s in your best interest not to consume whatever he serves. Not when Jade seems rather interested in watching you eat, the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips.
You two are now the terror of the Mostro Lounge. The deadly waiter and chef, serving up new unknown horrors to poor unfortunate students.
Poor, lost souls.
It’s rather amusing to watch them twitch and writhe. Sometimes, they collapse straightaway, face blooming a wonderful shade of green. Otherwise, their arms slump to the side, their eyes widening in shock as foam builds up in their mouth, spilling from their lips.
You two share a journal. A lovely leather bound book, elegant cursive dancing through the pages. You two take care to record all effects in excruciating detail. Little sketches of the mushrooms, the most poisonous ones highlighted, little purple hearts doodled all around.
When he thumbs through the pages, Jade’s fingers trace over your letters lightly. You have wonderful handwriting, love. In fact, if he closes his eyes, he could hear your voice whispering to him, practically purring into his ears.
A wonderful sound, indeed.
Jade shudders, bringing his hand up to his mouth. Chuckling into it, a small smile tugs at his lips. A faint pink dusted onto his cheeks, a flattering shade on him.
How truly romantic.
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