#it's not a clue people. straight writers are just that self-centered! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ask-de-writer · 4 years

Text

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 16 of 83 : World of Sea

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 16 of 83

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

written 2007

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

//////////////

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

New to the story? Read from the beginning. PART 1 is here

///////////////////////

A few days later, Barad laid aside the three ephemerids that Kurti had used to calculate their position. She sketched their position lightly on the chart. Barad marked boldly over her mark. Kurti had done the entire sighting and calculation on her own, with Barad watching closely, and taking his own observations separately.

“That was excellent, Kurti. I need you to prepare for an entertainment this evening.”

She listened in dread as he explained what he wanted of her.

I must have failed at something. Why else would he do this to me? “Sir,” she asked in a small voice, “I had thought that I was pleasing you. What did I do wrong?”

He looked at her in genuine puzzlement. “You have pleased me, Kurti. Nobody has ever pleased me as much. This is not a punishment. It is a matter of fairness. Morgu won a night with Chena fair and square. She died before he could claim his prize.

“I am only giving Morgu and Selked a fair chance at the prize again. You can also be of help to me in two other ways.” At once, she perked up and listened closely. “By doing this, I am tying two of my best men tighter to me. Besides, you can listen to what they have to say for clues to their true feelings and anything else that they may mention that I can profit from.”

“I think that I see. I was afraid that you were punishing me, I admit. So, this isn’t about anything that I’ve done, is it?”

“No, Kurti, it isn’t. If I ever seek to punish you, I will be direct and you will know what you are being punished for. That is my way.”

“So, by doing this, if one of them wins me, I will be serving you.”

“True, now fix up this cabin and get yourself ready for dinner. You will dine at the officer’s table with me tonight.”

Surprise must have shown on her face because he laughed out loud. “You should see yourself! I kept the other cabin girls locked up because it was necessary. They would have talked without thinking and betrayed my secrets. Even when there was nowhere to go, they kept trying to escape. You are so different from them that you deserve better treatment. Besides, there are a few officers who are getting too full of their place on this ship. You will be the perfect foil for that as well.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. “First Officer Timms is probably the only one that won’t be furious at you. Shall I dress demure or risque?”

“I hadn’t thought of that!” Barad had the delighted grin of a small boy getting away with a goodie that was not his. “Let’s not push them too far at once. Dress just a little on the risque side of good taste. I leave it to you.”

Dinner aboard the Grandalor was rarely a cause for interest or any but the most vicious of gossip. Tonight, some had noticed that an extra place had been set at the officer’s table.

“What’s that about? Any idea?”

“Not even. I asked the mess-boys about it and they don’t have any clue. Just say it’s Capt’n’s orders.”

“Gonna set up some new officer maybe?”

“Here he comes! Maybe now we’ll know …”

Captain Barad strode imperiously into the dingily lit mess. Nobody had seated themselves yet, not being so foolish.

The Captain’s imposingly solid bulk was dressed as though for a formal occasion. He was wearing snug dark trousers tucked into flared topped ankle boots of dark dyed, pebble-scaled Wing Ray. A white sash-belt set off and complemented a loose shirt of brown satin with moving black highlights. He stepped aside from the entryway and Kurti stepped into the room beside him, casually taking his arm.

She was dressed in a snugly fitting blouse of the same satin as Barad’s shirt, also throwing dark highlights. A narrow belt of white, matching Barad’s, contrasted with her snug dark pants and dark slippers of polished, glittering, small scaled Lesser Dragon hide. They made a striking couple and both knew it.

With inner amusement but a straight face, Captain Barad thought, there’s two officers — — four men and — — five women of the crew that have made an obvious effort to dress up. Setting an example does appear to be working. Look at them all stare! I think that they’re in shock, I really do! He led Kurti to the chair next to his on the left, pulled it out and seated her as though she were a lady of consequence. He seated himself, and the rest of the crew finally sat on their benches.

The officers looked on in barely concealed anger and confusion at the cabin-girl who was usurping a place at their privileged table. Kurti smiled back at them like a Wolf Eel seeing lunch swimming by. The rest of the crew looked on with varying degrees of amusement and puzzlement.

Kurti was one of their own but they had written her off. A cabin-girl was as good as dead. Everyone knew that. Barad’s cabin-girls had never lasted long, once chosen. None were ever seen again before this. Now there she was at the officer’s table, on the Captain’s left hand, a place of high favor. What was going on?

Gossip began to rage like a fire in the rigging. It was well known among the crew that Barad was always quick to criticize poor work, nearly as quick to say a good word for work done well, and to ignore almost entirely work that was merely adequate. The principal guess was that Kurti was doing — whatever her work was — extremely well.

Dinner itself was unremarkable. Just the usual fish-cakes, seaweed salad and water. Kurti smiled inside as she watched it being served by a confused Jaret. He was a galley worker that she knew. They had never gotten along. When the meal was done, she left on the Captain’s arm.

They stopped by the sick-bay to see if Tanlin was any better. An empty bunk greeted them. Doctor Corin apologetically proffered a tallow-slate.

“I am sorry, Sir. She slipped away last night. I have prepared her particulars and other papers for the Log. When you have done, I will sign the papers and entries.”

The Captain wrinkled his brow in thought and looked about the small sick-bay, at the eight curtained bunks, arrayed in a row of four, two deep, the Doctor’s desk with it’s tall apothecary cabinet and the examination / operating table, centered in the only clear space in the room.

“Thank you, Doctor Corin,” said Barad quietly. He took the tallow-slate.

Kurti looked sadly at the bunk where the cousin that she had never got the chance to meet had lingered four and a half Wohans. She spoke softly, “We appreciate all that you have done, Doctor Corin. We visited her early last night. When did she die?”

“I found her gone at the second drum of the third night watch,” he answered her. Turning to the Captain he added, “I put her body in the corpse locker until you should order her funeral or embalming for transport back to her fleet.”

“Who knows of her death?” asked Barad, suddenly intense, struck by a thought.

“Only we three.”

“For now, keep it that way. Curtain her bunk and let none see that she is gone,” he ordered.

“Not even my assistant?” queried Doctor Corin.

“Especially not Mikka,” said Barad decisively. “Give her other work that keeps her out of the sickbay for now.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Barad and Kurti initialed the sick-bay casual visit list and left. They were sobered by Tanlin’s passing but they had never truly known her. The two had other and more pressing things to think about. By the time that they had got to Barad’s cabin door, they were feeling once again the effects of their prank at dinner.

Once in his cabin, she laughed and the Captain chimed in.

“Did you see their faces?” he hooted.

“Which ones?” she replied, delighted by the response that she’d seen. “The officers or the crew? The ones that I used to know just about fell off their benches! That was even better than the officers for me. After you chose me, they wrote me off and wouldn’t even talk to me when they did have the chance.”

Barad looked at her, seeing her anew, yet again. “You have changed, Kurti. I was sure that going before the whole crew like that would at least embarrass you. You show no sign of it. May I ask why?”

She sobered and considered carefully before answering. “Truly, Sir, it is survival. Your cabin-girls have a short life usually, and an unpleasant one, if rumor be true at all.

“From what I have seen, they did not even try to please you. That was their job. You have always had a short way with people who don’t do their jobs. Most folks have some point where they will say something like, I would rather die than — whatever.

“I’ve decided to live. That means doing my job as well as possible. With what has passed between us, I could not marry to get off the ship now. You would never feel safe, and rightly so. One slip of a tongue and we both would be convicted of violating the Marriage Laws. Command me if necessary or just tell me what is needed and give me the chance to do what you want as well as I can. For however long I live, Sir, I am yours.”

Barad beamed. “I was right. You think deeply. This goes far beyond the present task. You have clearly told me why I can trust you, in terms of your own self interest.

“Now, I have that game of Three Dragons to play tonight. You are the stakes. I leave the whole set-up and refreshments to you.” He pulled her to him and kissed her. She responded with the appearance of enthusiasm. Then he released her and playfully patted her behind. “Get to it.”

As she was about to leave, Barad impulsively handed her a six-inch dagger of Strong Skin fang, honed to a razor edge. Startled, she was about to refuse it when he spoke. “Kurti, There are only two people on this ship that I trust enough to allow them to be armed in my presence. One is Selked, whom I’ve known from childhood, and the other is you. Carry this to defend yourself, if any of the crew should get ideas.”

TO BE CONTINUED

<==PREVIOUS NEXT==>

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

#SEA DRAGON’S GIFT #Part 16 of 83 #World of Sea #Written by De Writer

8 notes · View notes

catsitta · 4 years

Text

Handle With Care - Post Mortem

When I first started writing Handle with Care, it was going to be 100 chapters long and there were a few key differences in the plot. These changes occurred generally slowly as I gained a better understanding of my world and characters, while some shifted dramatically due to my feeling they were thematically inappropriate for the story I wanted to tell. So with the conclusion of the main fic and its various continuations, I decided to detail a little more in how I approached a 100 word daily drabble fic, and why certain events occurred or why certain characters played certain roles. This post is mostly for the folks out there who like all the nitpicky background information that goes around in the author’s head while writing.

100 WORDS A DAY

In choosing to write 100 words a day, I gave myself both a goal and a challenge. 100 words is often little more than a paragraph. Maybe two. I often found myself writing on my commute into work or during lunch on my phone, because while 1000 might feel overwhelming, 100 is not. Right? Yet some days I found just enough time to type up 100 words between work and other commitments (October was interesting, since I did Inktober and well as Promptober, on top of my usual working schedule). But the most challenging part was not writing 100 words. Writing 100 words was easy. Writing ONLY 100 words was where things became tricky.

In my original intentions for this fic, scenes were not supposed to span over multiple chapters. Each drabble was to be a self contained snapshot of time. But as the story became more emotionally centered, I shifted away from that idea and focused more on making each drabble exist as a chapter. Chapters can have cliffhangers. But they need to communicate a thought. An idea. A feeling. With 100 words a day, my objective became: Progress the story in a meaningful way or communicate some important information to the audience. With 100 words, there was often little room for getting lost in details.

Now one my ask again, why 100?

100 is the number of words in the definition of a drabble. 100, again, is an easy minimum to reach. But when you are used to writing 2-3k word chapters, flexibility is minimal and you have to decide what needs to be said, and what you were saying to fill space. And I found it a wonderful learning experience and valuable exercise as a writer. I’ve attempted to start drabble fics in the past, but rarely did they ever get past a couple chapters before I would get frustrated by the limitations. Because let’s be honest. Writing a 25,000 word story, 100 words at a time, is a test of one’s patience as much as anything else.

THE STORY

Handle with Care was originally supposed to be pure romantic comedy with just a splash of darker undertones in the background for color. But as much as I love fluffy comedies, as I wrote, there were conflicts that I didn’t feel should be glossed over. As some of my long term readers and commenters will know, I’m terribly fond of bitter with my sweet. Angst with my fluff. The bad things in life make the good all the brighter. And conflict drives a story forward.

So what changed?

There were many different variations on how Sans ended up raising Papyrus alone. Some took our overbearing science dad, Gaster, and outright cast him in the role of a villain as opposed to a mid story antagonist. Straight into, why aren’t you in jail, territory. Others barely featured Gaster at all, as he was disconnected from Sans after his son didn’t end up pursuing a ‘productive’ career in the sciences. There were even a couple considered drafts where Papyrus and Edge did have another parent and the reason Sans was distrusting and cagey was because of a broken Soulbond. (And for those of you who were Web/Sans theorists, well, there was a version where you weren’t wrong! Sans started an affair off with Web after the LOADs began as a sort of ‘regain control of his life’ thing.)

What may interest folks is that the story was originally not supposed to end with a wedding and a house in the planning. The happy ending was going to be less sugar and more height of the moment drama. Around the time Frisk intimidates Red into silence, she was going to instead start him on the path to discovering answers. No confessions from Sans. No journals. Instead Red goes on the hunt for clues and gets fragments of the story from different people, especially Gaster and Frisk. It was all quite emotional, but the pacing felt off, and I felt it would be more rewarding if Sans grew as a character and he was the one to confess all his secrets.

Another altered thread was Red being only Web’s son. Early, early on, Red was the product of Web and some other monster. I even considered that monster having died in birth with Edge. But I scrapped that quickly, and decided that instead, Edge was Pap’s twin, and that the grim mood Web was in, was because of what he saw as well as what he remembered from past timelines. He almost watched his friend and coworker dust in his arms. Properly traumatic, eh?

There is a completely cut scene that I may write in the spin off that goes more into detail about Red’s similarities to Gaster, and Sans’ to Web, and how people often choose partners that are like their parental figures. You may ask. Wait. What do you mean? Well, Webdings didn’t smoke. He drank. Red, despite having dabbled with the stuff, is never shown to drink recreationally or get drunk in the fic, for more reasons than being underage to do so. However, it is very lightly implied that Sans’ coping method of choice is alcohol, though Red quickly quashes this habit after the drunkenness incident. Now, who else smokes? Gaster. Sans doesn’t like that Red smokes (for obvious reasons it reminds him of his father and Red does try to quit in the fic, though ends up falling back on it when stressed.) There are other similarities if you look close. It’s one of the reasons that Gaster and Red don’t get along. They’re both strong personalities, and can be pretty quick to pass judgement on someone.

THE CHARACTERS

As many folks picked up on, Handle with Care, has multiple meanings. It is a moving pun based on the CAUTION: FRAGILE | Handle with Care, labels on the sides of some boxes. It is also one of the main themes of the fic itself. Everyone in the story is a person with their own pasts and pains, which makes them fragile in different ways. And some of them even represent different types of relationships and people we encounter in our lives.

Red - Our protagonist. He’s a young man picking up the pieces of his life after his father’s apparent suicide, left to raise his baby brother when he was only sixteen. He’s the child of an alcoholic and forced to take on an adult role too young. As a result, he has a few unhealthy coping mechanisms, struggles with his temper and his sense of self worth. But he’s the one that got out. That put his life on the straight-and-narrow.

Sans - The love interest. Grew up young from the sheer expectations in his life. He was never without, but when the LOADs happened, he cracked under a lifetime’s worth of pressure. He broke down. Stopped trusting anyone, including himself. And very likely only kept himself from Falling because of Papyrus. Much of his struggles is based on the single mothers who would say that their child is what saved them or got them through those darkest time by just existing. He is also the individual who was groomed for success that ended up with absoluting no proper coping skills because of his rigid upbringing.

Papyrus - The optimist. He stays positive through everything. Everything and everyone can do better, and he sees the best in all situations. But he also has a responsible streak with an urge to organize everything (clean/cook/no desserts before dinner). His relationship with Sans could have very well ended up problematic, with Paps taking on a parental role for his parent early on in his life.

Edge - The pessimist. Edge is the other side of the coin from Papyrus. While his world view is often just as rigid, he is emotional. While it is implied he was always a fussy baby, he’s very sensitive to change, and shows that children are capable of picking up on things that the adults in their lives try to hide. His abandonment issues run deep, and will cause him to lash out until he is older and learns better self control and comes to terms with his father’s death. It is not uncommon for children of single parent homes to become resentful, if not at their present parent, but at the one that is gone. It is difficult for Edge to separate his father’s death, and Red’s fights with Sans, away from himself, and his self-centric view of the world.

Gaster - The (sympathetic?) antagonist. There are points where you love to hate him, and other times, you have to step back. He’s the authoritarian parent that dictated most of his child’s life up until that child literally vanished and became a hermit for a while. It isn’t through callousness or unkindness that he acts this way, but in what he believes is the opposite. He struggles with emotions, especially showing them, an example of how often older generations, especially males, often don’t/can’t/won’t show emotional vulnerability. He wants the best for Sans and those he cares about, even if he often fails to show it properly.

Web - The dead dad. Red’s relationship with Web is complicated. He remembers when Web was a brilliant man, even if not the most fatherly of fathers. But he also laid witness to his fall from grace as well, his drinking habit the most evident. His role is ambiguous much of the story, though he’s left behind hole. His death is the catalyst to a number of the story’s events, and Red’s struggle with him in death is to show the complicated feelings people may have when they lose a loved one who may have not been the best person. Sans’ relationship with him was more to highlight how far he’d actually fallen in the end from where he used to be.

Toriel - The mother. She is a maternal presence in many character’s lives. Her mothering is revealed to be related to her inability to conceive a child. Infertility is a common problem for women. She goes on to foster, babysit and even adopt after Asriel is born. She also an example of the powerful bonds we form with others and how sometimes families are found. Toriel was as much of a mother to Sans as she was Asriel.

The Fallen Humans - The catalyst. If Frisk didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be a story. After all, she was the child that climbed the mountain, starting the events of Undertale. Frisk and Chara both are implied to have troubled pasts, which lead them to being vulnerable to that idea of absolute power corrupts absolutely. The meddle. They are often selfish and don’t consider the consequences of their actions, and when they do, there is a sense of it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters when you can manipulate reality itself. But where Frisk possess a sense of guilt for what happened with Sans, Chara does not, and even outright tells Red that he is willing to do anything to accomplish his goals (even if that means hurting everyone else). Kris is a ‘dreamer’, and while he has more control over tweaking the events that play out, he is far less calloused by RESETS and LOADS. He just wants to be close to his brother Asriel, as well as help his ‘siblings’ find a sense of belonging.

Undyne - The Protagonist’s parallel. A child of divorce, which for monsters often leads to trauma and death, she is left to be raised by Gerson. She’s angry, resentful and prone to get in fights. Red often compares her to Edge, but can also empathise deeply with her troubles. At fourteen she is old enough to understand the reality of the situation, but also young enough to be deeply affected by the changes. Given the rarity of divorce, it is implied that her home life was unstable before the events of the story. Red tries to help her as he never got help himself.

Asriel - The miracle child. Mostly a background character. Asriel’s main connections are to Kris and the Dreemurs. He was the child that a couple struggling with fertility finally conceived. His being born, however, resulted Gaster creating Red for Webdings.

Asgore - The powerful person. Gaster and Toriel both have names that are impactful in the community, but Asgore is the founder of Dreemur Medical and Biotech. He was the King of Monsters. Despite his passive role, he influences many of the character’s choices and actions but simply EXISTING as a person of importance. Gaster tries to literally create viable monster cloning/fertility enhancement methods for him which lead to Sans and Red being born. His inviting Web to work with determination led to the creation of the Machine.

Gerson - The substitute parent. His main role in the story is as a family friend of Undyne’s and in the end, her new parental figure. She resents him and he takes care of her. He cannot replace what she’s lost, but he tries to provide her a future. A hard role to fill in a child’s life.

Grillby - The old friend. Grillby plays are far more subtle part. He’s survived a broken Soulbond, he’s friends with Sans, and through every up-and-down, he’s remained open to Sans when he comes back around. Sometimes as children we form friendships with adults that are just as strong as those we form with our peers. This is true for Sans.

There are a few more characters that show up mostly for color and world building but don’t play a significant part in pushing the themes of the story.

CONCLUSION

Would I do this again? Yes. I am planning on continuing the 100 word trend in the Pre-Sequel This Way Up. It may be truer to the spirit of drabbles since we will have a lot more ground to cover since it will be telling Sans’ history. We’ll get to learn more about Gaster, Webdings, the Dreemurs, Grillby and the Fallen Humans. And for those of you who want to know more about the HwC boys as they are? Moving Day will fill in the blanks. And I also promised a sequel. Bubblewrap Blues will take place significantly in the future and center around a certain aptly named skeleton and the edgy boy that likes to get coffee in his cafe.

I’m pleased with how the story turned out.

I never expected the reaction and the feedback. To those of you who commented and kudosed. Thank you. And to those who quite literally followed me from the start, reading and commenting near every day if not every day? You’re extra amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much.

#Handle with care #Undertale #fanfic #post mortem #kustard #textpost #babybones #daily drabble #100 word drabbles #personal challenge #finished #finished fanfic

15 notes · View notes

eisforeidolon · 4 years

Text

Episode: Atomic Monsters

I watched this at least a week ago, but just didn't get around to rewriting my notes into a post 'til now. I did actually find this the best episode so far, but lets be real, that's such a low bar to clear at this point it says basically nothing.

The opening sequence is really fun! I found the whole thing genuinely enjoyable, both the action itself and that it included exactly the kind of return cameo I can actually get behind. No retcons or resurrections that make death somehow even cheaper or ruin the original finish to the character's story! Not even to mention that, instead of existing just for the sheer fanservice of it? A sequence like this is actively improved by giving us a familiar face we have investment in to keep it from being all just random unfamiliar cannon fodder getting offed.

Unfortunately, this isn't the rousing endorsement it could be when we know that both expanding to a big action sequence and bringing Benny back for it were actually Jensen's ideas. Not even to mention that the thing which really works best in the episode? It's the dream sequence that's not actually connected to anything else and doesn't have to worry about continuity to work. This is my surprised face.

I enjoyed the exchange between Sam and Dean in the kitchen. The meat man conversation over the bacon was rather silly, but in a fun way. I've seen some people reading things into it (it's insulting Dean doesn't know the slang, Sam is randomly vegetarian now) that I didn't really see there. I did appreciate how Sam was weirdly jumpy and had trouble meeting Dean's eyes after the creepy alternate world dream. I thought it worked really well for both slice-of-life and Sam’s reaction.

In terms of the Winchester's case, well, for the most part it could have been worse. I don't honestly believe even if I hadn't been spoiled that I wouldn't have immediately suspected the parents from their introductory exchange about how Billy playing in the big game was more important than a cheerleader's death. I think it was supposed to be a retroactive subtle clue, but it was more of a clue-by-four. So the “mystery” of tracking down the monster was pretty lost on me. I did like that the one girl having braces was a clue! But I also thought the scene with her rehearsing her speech on a live mic in an empty auditorium was weird and contrived. I straight out cannot forgive that a girl was literally abducted from the school campus and NOBODY checked the security footage near her car fucking IMMEDIATELY well before Sam & Dean. C'mon. Then, of course, a couple random middle-aged suburbanite humans get the drop on Sam and Dean, because Dabbernatural really just loves to make them incompetent so plots happen.

Then the big reveal and blah blah blah, kid accidentally ate his girlfriend. WHAT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO??? Um, maybe try not being scumbags? Idiotic scumbags at that, abducting a second girl from their son's own school instead of somebody that wouldn't be missed or even, hey, maybe encouraging him to try harder not to eat people. Don't try to sell me on this pseudo hallmark 'but they just love him so much' bullshit. At least the kid has more self-awareness and conscience than his fuckwad parents.

Then we get to the infuriating character assassination part of the programme. Having Sam and Dean say that they'd do the same thing as the dad for Jack their “son”? Fuck you very much, show. I could maybe, maybe, see Sam or Dean kidnapping and draining the life out of an innocent to save the other at their most desperate worst. Though I think the only time they even really get close to that kind of an actively, knowingly evil choice is with Doc Benton. Not only do I not buy for a second that they would do that for the totally-really-their-actual-child-for-reasons albatross Dabbernatural has shoehorned into their lives? Struggling to do the right thing even when it hurts used to actually mean something – it was always a very important qualifier that while Sam or Dean might make that choice, the other would not let them. So having them both agree this kind of straight up villainy would be a-okay for oh-so-totally-loveable-no-really-woobie-blob Jack ...

Like carelessly assassinating every human in the BMoL headquarters, it fundamentally fails to understand what it is that keeps Sam and Dean from being the monsters. Hint: it's not just that the show centers around them. “We do the ugly thing so that people can live happy” - these moronic hacks seem to be actually trying to parallel Sam and Dean saving innocent victims and the world to human monsters that were going to selfishly help their son eat his way through the entire goddamn cheerleading squad. Am I getting this wrong somehow? Is there some other, less appalling, reading here that I'm missing? This whole scene honestly made me nauseous.

They talkity-talk on for a while longer, but it's really not much better. Sam declaring that God was totally done with them was the writers putting those words in his mouth based on nothing. At it’s very best, it was Sam’s bad habit of convincing himself conclusions he’s come to are true because he wants them to be. So them both just deciding to believe it's true after Chuck has admitted to orchestrating their entire lives … I'm not sure if we should conclude the Winchesters have brain damage or if that's just the writers. Especially when the underlying reason for it is nothing more compelling than , “Watch the Winchesters see-saw on the angst fulcrum completely at random! Yay!” If this was actually well written, there would be some precipitating reason for Sam to suddenly be the one being all fatalistic while Dean is accepting. Instead, the writers just slap some coin-flipped angst angst angst on the page and meander on in a supposedly forward direction.

So then there's the other half of the episode, the Becky storyline. Am I the only one a little disturbed that Becky's first reaction to seeing Chuck was to look scared and try to run away? Like, they're exes and all, sure, but she doesn't know any of the god stuff yet – I think the only thing she even says about their breakup is that Chuck dumped her. Is that reaction supposed to be yet another bit of “new canon” showing how Chuck was just that terrible all along? But then she does let him in, so maybe we're just supposed to take it as Becky still having a tendency towards dramatics? I honestly don't know, but it was weird to me.

I do genuinely love that they had Becky go to therapy and realize just how absolutely fucked up what she'd done was and ultimately sort herself out to become someone who seems to be a well-balanced adult. A well balanced adult that didn't have to give up being a fan for that! Seriously, kudos to the writers for this, because 7.08 is such a loathsome episode that otherwise ruins Becky as a character. Though I do have to nitpick a bit – while I get that they wanted to put SPN merch in Becky's home as a callout to her still being a superfan? In the show's universe, Chuck's books were never that popular, so I'm having some suspension of disbelief issues that there would be Funkos for them. We could pretend they were customs, but she's got at least one Impala, so even that doesn't quite work. I'm not entirely sure who “people only want them sitting around doing laundry anyway” is a dig at, but I'm giving it the side eye.

I also am not entirely sure what to make of Chuck's whole no one needs me I kinda hate me I'm all lost and don't know what to doooooo shtick. Is this a game he's playing? Is he really that wishy-washy? Did some of Dabb's sad internal monologue as showrunner somehow end up in a script by accident?

He goes on like that and laments he's lost the Winchester's trust and had words with them or whatever, and then he zaps Becky and her family away at the end. Like, if he cared enough about Becky to care about her opinion, why does he turn on her, too, just like that? I guess we're supposed to see it as him having found his mojo in her space and vanishing her because taking over her space that's working for him currently is his latest whim. I suppose they're intending to show Chuck as just being that capricious and flighty, but I don't know that it works for me. The way they've been writing him he's acting so randomly and impulsively that it's kind of unbelievable he can even sit still at a keyboard long enough to write another Sam and Dean installment. Again, I definitely find it unbelievable that the Chuck they're giving us now would be capable of playing the long game that he would have had to for him to be actively behind everything. Until he suddenly got impatient and lazy and popped up in the cemetery at the end of the last finale ... for reasons … and is now just … like that … because.

Not to mention that his powers are, big shock, just as arbitrary as everyone else's in the current show. He can't actually see what is happening to Sam and Dean because of the bullet sapping his power or whatever, but we're supposed to be worried about the ominous ending he's writing for them because … he's got those god powers to make it happen, I guess? Uh...

I will grant that the ominous bobbing of Sam and Dean Funkos' heads to Chuck's furious typing was a wonderfully foreboding shot to end on.

#negativity for ts #long post #anti dabb #anti jack kline #writer incompetence #spn season 15 #spn 15x04

13 notes · View notes

mobius-prime · 4 years

Text

174. Sonic the Hedgehog #106

Crouching Hedgehog, Hidden Dragon (臣人豪猪臧龍)

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Josh & Aimee Ray

Yes, there are actually Chinese characters included with the title of this issue. They were a real bitch to actually get copy-and-paste-able text for, since all I had to work off of was a slightly blurry scanned image of the title page, but my girlfriend helped me figure it out. I went ahead and ran the characters through Google Translate, and they came out to "Chén rén háozhū zāng lóng," which, when translated into English, apparently means "porcupine zanglong." Now, I'm well aware that Google Translate is unreliable at the best of times when translating Asian languages into English, but I have a feeling that it was trying to make sense out of nonsense, and that the artists/writers for this issue just kind of… found some cool-looking Chinese characters and slapped them in there to give it a more "exotic" feel. Anyone who can actually read Chinese, please feel free to correct me on this one, because I'm woefully ignorant. But why use Chinese characters in the first place? Well, let's move into the story to find out…

The Freedom Fighters have set out in their airship to Station Square on a diplomatic mission. However, their ship is buffeted by strange winds that nearly blow them off course and cause them to crash. When they land safely, Sally reminds them all to be on their best behavior, and they're met by a news crew to welcome their arrival.

When Sally and the others make their way into the city, they're met not by the mayor, but by the city's new president and his chiefs of staff, with whom they quickly sit down to a meeting. Sally explains her wish for the city to take in the Overlander refugees from Robotropolis, and when the mayor balks when he hears how many people he'd have to make room for - about seventy families - Sonic becomes outraged that he isn't immediately taking them in because it's the right thing to do.

That night, Sonic mopes a bit on the balcony of the hotel, still upset about the president's reaction, as well as concerned that despite Sally finally being a part of the team again, she doesn't seem very pleased about it. He's distracted by his friends calling him to go play at the arcade, but while he leaves, we see a strange snaky figure floating against a backdrop of stars behind him…

In his own office, the president is watching various footage of Sonic defeating the enemies of Station Square in the past - Chaos, Silver Sonic, and Shadow - and begins to wonder to himself if he should make a more permanent ally out of Sonic, despite his brash attitude. He doesn't have long to decide, as chaos suddenly erupts on the streets, flames chasing after fleeing citizens. The president considers calling for Sonic's aid, but true to his nature, Sonic is already there, staring down the source of the commotion - a massive Chinese dragon. Sally and Antoine rush to the president while Tails, Rotor, and Bunnie hurry to Sonic's aid, but they're not quite fast enough to help.

In his office, the president tries to insist to Sally that this is a bad place for refugees as there are now dragons attacking the city, but Sonic walks in, draped in a blanket and flanked by his friends, offering the president a deal - if he runs the dragon out of town and saves the city again, then they'll take in the refugees. The president finds this to be a fair deal, and accepts.

Now, instead of another character file, we find ourselves looking at another map - this time of Station Square itself!

I know that text is obnoxiously small to read, so I'll summarize it myself. Considering that Station Square in the comic is vastly different from its counterpart in the games, a lot of effort was certainly put into explaining exactly how it functions. Apparently, along with its supply of Chaos Emeralds, the city also runs off solar power collected from the top of the mountain it's buried underneath. It's surrounded by complex holographic projectors that simulate a sky and surrounding landscape, with the weather control systems maintaining a consistent 70°F or 21°C and simulating various weather conditions. All it needs to stay self-sufficient is contained within the enormous cavern, including all its farms. We already know the general history of the city, but this page includes the fact that the original founders sought shelter down here while fleeing from a catastrophe on the surface that is supposedly unknown, but is heavily implied to be one of the past Days of Fury, this one occurring five hundred years ago.

However, perhaps most interesting are the various technical statistics given for the city. Of course, they're all given in metrons, but that's no problem for us and our conversion formulas! There's a whopping 13.7 km, or 8.6 miles, from the surface of the city streets to the top of the cavern, which is again much higher than the peak of Mt. Everest. That's an enormous cavern! That is much, much deeper than the deepest known cave on Earth, but it's still somewhat plausible given that our planet's crust goes much deeper than that. And the file doesn't stop at height. Assuming the city is arranged in a vaguely square shape (we're never told or shown otherwise, and frankly that's the easiest way to calculate area, so that's what we're working with), the city's area is around 14,390.4 square km, or 5,625 square miles! That's a good bit bigger than the entire state of Connecticut, and around the same size as the country of Montenegro in Europe, for just one city! If it existed in the real world, it would be the largest city in the world by land area by a long shot. However, we have to assume that not all of it is dense metropolis. I'm going to go ahead and assume that this area measurement includes all the farms and emptier, less populated space that we see surrounding the actual city, meaning that the metropolis is likely more of a third or so that size going by the picture, making the actual city around the size of Atlanta, Georgia, which is the fourth-largest city in the world going by area. That's impressive!

As for the city's population, the file comes right out and tells us the exact number of individuals living there: 23,856,427 people. This kind of makes the president's worries about taking in a few hundred people seem a little silly, as there's surely more than enough room for everyone, as well as enough kind people within to offer help getting everyone settled in, but I digress. If Station Square existed in real life, that would make it the second largest city in the world, barely beating out Delhi, India, but still vastly outstripped by Tokyo, Japan. Now, I'm not an expert on calculating population density, as I know that it's very different depending on whether you're only counting the distinct urban center of the city, or the metropolitan area which includes the surrounding, less-dense areas, but I'm not entirely sure how to calculate such a thing accurately. All I know is that if we calculate the population density straight from our initial area (before I adjusted it), we get a density of 1,658 people per square km, or 4,241 people per square mile. That's a population density similar to that of Melbourne, Australia, and is actually fairly low compared to most real-world big cities. Just as a fun exercise, however, let's say that two-thirds of the city's population lives in the urban center, while the rest lives in the outlying farmland and suburbs. In that case, the city proper would end up with a density of 3,312 people per square kilometer, or 8,474 people per square mile, which, though almost twice as high, is still much less dense than the vast majority of large world cities. This would also give the outlying areas a density of 829 per square km, or 2,721 per square mile, which is comparable to the average density of modern American suburbs. I'm satisfied with these numbers! Unlike the disaster that was the file on the Floating Island, everything about this file actually makes sense and checks out with reality. And in the end, wasn't that what we all really wanted - for our Sonic the Hedgehog comics to be realistic?

Reunification (Part 1)

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Dawn Best Colors: Josh Ray

We're finally back to the Green Knuckles saga, and right away we're being thrown a curveball. On the streets of a cold, empty Echidnaopolis, a flash of light disturbs the peace, and reveals a figure materializing inside of it - that of a young echidna woman whom we've never seen before. From her dialogue, it appears she's traveled back in time, and is on the lookout for clues that will let her know exactly when she's arrived. The only other ones within the city are various Dark Legionnaires on patrol, though they and the woman never cross paths and the Legionnaires grow bored of the lack of activity. As they report in to Dimitri, Lien-Da approaches her boss' room to give a report of her own.

Gee, I don't know, Dimitri, what could Knuckles possible be doing? He certainly wouldn't be trying to reverse the effects of the Quantum Beam just as you suggested doing just a few issues ago, would he? Of course, that's exactly what he's doing. The young woman, wandering the streets, actually seems to know that everyone from the city is in another zone currently, but that's about to change, as suddenly strong winds begin to blow her away. She's shocked, and is blown around until the winds cease, at which point she's offered a helping hand.

Remington… kill Knuckles? I can't believe that for a second! Remington's been nothing but a bro ever since we first met him. What's going on here? Who is this girl, and what's the deal with Remington…?

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 106 #writer: karl bollers #writer: ken penders #pencils: ron lim #pencils: dawn best #colors: joshua d ray #colors: aimee r ray

2 notes · View notes

aroworlds · 6 years

Text

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Nate

Our next aro-spec creator is Nate, better known on Tumblr as @astriiformes!

Nate is an asexual, aromantic, neurodivergent and mentally ill trans guy/person continuing the tradition of aro-spec creators demonstrating an impressive diversity of talent. He writes, cosplays, creates filk music and produces visual art--and that’s when he’s not playing D&D and attending conventions!

You can find him on Twitter as planar_ranger and on 8tracks as azhdarchidaen. He’s also found on AO3 as azhdarchidaen, with a prolific selection of works for the Gravity Falls, Doctor Who, Critical Role and Pacific Rim fandoms! If you have a dollar or two you’re wanting to invest in worthy aro-spec talent, please take a look at Nate’s Ko-Fi!

With us Nate talks about expressing emotions through creativity, the intersection of aromanticism and perfectionism, the importance of storytelling as self-expression and his passion for D&D as a way of giving voice to his aromantic experience. His love for fandom, creativity and storytelling shines through every word, so please let’s give him all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

While I didn’t know the word “aromantic” until I was 15 or 16, and took a while to embrace it even then, when I look back on my childhood I can definitely see some of the earliest signs. Perhaps the most prominent was my mild disappointment at age 12 or 13 in discovering the Star Wars EU novels only to learn that Luke Skywalker, one of my most pervasively favorite characters since I first watched the movies and likely my earliest aro headcanon, ended up getting married! I ended up writing what was technically my first fanfiction after that discovery, an alternate take on the post-Return of the Jedi universe in which he didn’t.

But I didn’t really start to realize I was aro, or even know it was an identity at all, until two things happened. First, I joined an LGBTQA+ group on a writer’s forum I used to frequent and started to not only learn the vocabulary but also that identifying as something other than straight or cis was even allowed. Second, I entered what was essentially the closest thing to a romantic relationship I’ve ever experienced. By some measures it probably was one, but there really wasn’t much romance involved – because I wasn’t pushing it (for reasons that are now obvious to me), and the guy I was sort-of-dating was pretty respectful of my boundaries and was probably waiting for me to make some of those moves before trying himself. The relationship eventually broke off several months after he moved to Europe. He messaged me to say he felt bad about the fact that our long-distance “relationship” was probably holding me back from finding someone I could be happier with, and he would be more comfortable breaking it off. The fact that I felt no real sadness over that was a fairly big bit of evidence for my aromanticism, second only to the fact that I had actually become more comfortable with our situation when he moved across the Atlantic Ocean.

Clues like those eventually lead me to adopt the label and really begin to understand myself, I think around age 16 or 17. I went through a slow process of accepting all my queer identities one-by-one and kind of see them all as pretty interconnected. The aro one was in the middle.

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I really like making things. For all the frustration I experience trying to write something I’m happy with, or panicked near all-nighters trying to finish props before a convention, I really am at my happiest when I have projects to engage in. I take a lot of pride in my identity as a content creator as a result, though it also means I can set discouragingly high standards for myself. That being said, there’s nothing that makes me happier that someone enjoying something I put time and effort into and being able to go “I made this.”

Writing was definitely my earliest outlet (I did draw things when I was younger, but I didn’t show my art to anyone until this time last year). I was posting fics (under a different username, fortunately; I don’t want my early teenage writing unearthed ten years later) on ff.net by early high school, a narrative I’m sure I share with plenty of other creators. I’ve done more interesting things with my writing since migrating over to AO3 though, and I continue to feel like my writing is growing (even if, sometimes, I worry it’s going too slowly).

Getting into cosplay was something I picked up only a year or so later, though again, comparing my current work to those first few attempts feels almost silly. My first cosplay was a patched-together Eighth Doctor mostly made out of thrift store finds that looked only debatably like the real deal. Since then, I’ve gotten better at sewing my own things and have realized one of my true strengths lies in elaborate props. My two most recent cosplays were Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls, with a fully-illustrated and screen-accurate copy of the third journal, complete with blacklight effects, and Taako, from The Adventure Zone, with an Umbra Staff that I had re-covered in fabric and had fully-functional LED “stars” built into it, stars I could make twinkle via a secret remote. I’m attempting two characters that are even more ambitious for conventions this year, but we’ll have to see how that actually goes…

My filk contributions aren’t massive, but the community aspect (and that it connected me to someone who is now one of my closest friends, who made me go from enjoying the genre to contributing to it) and some of the things I’ve done as a result of it make me feel it has a place as part of my creative identity. You haven’t lived until you’ve performed decades-old songs about space travel with your friends, in cosplay, in a crowded convention center! (Okay, a debatable statement. But a truly wild experience.) It’s also been a good outlet for me in some ways, because music is a powerful way to get across emotions. I play viola and piano, and have for years, so I knew that to some degree before I started writing my own lyrics to things. But personalizing songs by making them be about things you have really strong feelings for is another level entirely.

And then, art. Like I said, I never really shared it with anyone (or drew much at all) until about a year ago. Part of that was due to wanting to try my hand at digital art but not really having an understanding of what programs to use or how to get started with it, and part of it was the inertia of feeling like “if I’m not good at something immediately, I shouldn’t try at all!” The thing that really got the ball rolling for me is the long D&D campaign I’m currently in. When I was excited about other stories, chances were someone else had drawn art of it that I could enjoy and reblog. That’s not really the case with one you’re telling with only 5-6 other people. I had a sort of epiphany moment a couple months into the campaign, as the story really started picking up, that if I wanted to see the kind of art I appreciate for this new story I was falling in love with, I would probably have to do it myself. I’m still not incredibly happy with my work, since I’m surrounded by friends who are incredible artists and my style is fairly simplistic and oddly stylized, but I have gotten to a point where I draw fairly regularly, and generally put up what I create on our shared campaign blog. The same D&D game has wrenched over 15k words of original writing from me, which is pretty astonishing. Most of that isn’t anywhere to be found on Tumblr just yet, though – it’s largely still-top secret character backstory.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

The most obvious way is that I write fics about characters being aromantic and dealing with their aromanticism. All headcanons, unfortunately (I’m yet to find a canon aro in anything I love that I didn’t help create myself), but there are several stories on my AO3 about characters from Pacific Rim, Star Wars or Gravity Falls realizing they’re aromantic. And the fics that don’t deal with that are still all gen – I’m too romance-repulsed to write anything else, and I feel the world needs a lot more genfic anyways.

One other way, though I feel a bit silly calling it “art”, is that I am intentionally playing an aromantic character of my own creation in my current D&D campaign. I’ve been playing for several years now, and did have another character back in high school who I also imagined as aromantic. (Partially because of an awkward flirting mishap – an enemy tried to get my character off her guard with romance and it all backfired because she didn’t know how to respond. All my own fault – I don’t even know how to roleplay that!) But none of the campaigns I’ve played in until this one were particularly intent on exploring characters and their feelings all that deeply, or really making them a part of the story.

With my current character, it’s become incredibly validating to view him as aromantic and asexual, like myself. It’s that same impulse that got me started doing more art – if the fiction I like isn’t going to provide me with aromantic characters, I’ll have to make one myself! And it’s slowly leading to some very interesting explorations of aro identity and the normalising of it in our world. We’ve established that identifying that way isn’t particularly unusual for elves and talked about what that means for worldbuilding. Do they hold platonic relationships in the same regard as romantic ones? Is there a special kind of relationship that signifies that? What if we put friendship under the banner of the goddess of romantic love too? Though at the same time, I’m exploring some of the same feelings I experience with him – he’s a particularly lonely person, who worries about people actually wanting to stay with him, both of which are prominent features of my own aromantic experience.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

Like many of us, I do worry that my genfics will be less enjoyed or circulated as a result of choosing not to include ships. And whenever I post a fic about a character actually being aro, I definitely get that little stab of “Someone is going to have a problem with this” fear.

I also feel that my experience with aromanticism has shaped a lot of my perfectionistic tendencies. Because I worry so much about trying to remain important in my allo friends’ lives, and because I think of so much of my identity as associated with creativity, I tend to get really wrapped up in my work needing to seem amazing somehow, to make people think I’m worth their time. It’s a silly thing to get preoccupied over, but it has had an impact on me. In some ways wanting my work to be really good is not a bad thing – it encourages me to do my very best whenever I can – but the motivation is really all wrong.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

I’m honestly pretty disconnected from them. I might be less-inclined to be if this website wasn’t suddenly experiencing such backlash against a-spec identities, but as is I’m almost afraid to engage with anything that might make me a target. Which is really unfortunate. That being said, whenever I do make any aro content and I see it circulated to other aromantic people, I get a lot of joy from it. The comments on my multiple aromantic-focused fics are some of my favorite ones I’ve ever received. If I can channel my experiences into something that elicits that kind of a reaction from our community, I consider my work well done.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

When I’m able to talk to other aromantic people about headcanons (or even some of my very understanding allo friends who absorb them from me, too), pretty well! Unfortunately, that’s a pretty tiny fraction of my fandom experience. Even some of my interests where you’d think I wouldn’t run into problems have been difficult at times. I once had someone dressed as a character often (non-canonically) shipped with the one I was cosplaying, and they assumed that I would be interested in hearing that they shipped our character. Instead, they just made me very uncomfortable, particularly with the way they chose to do so.

In general, the expectation that as a member of fandom, producing fandom works, I will be interested in creating and consuming romantic content is hard to deal with. I’ve had people ask me to put ships in my fics, the aforementioned convention incident, and been heckled over having aromantic headcanons at all. That being said, aromantic headcanons were how I met at least a few of my good friends. Finding each other may be hard, but since we all feel so isolated I think that finding other aro creators inhabiting the same or similar spaces can lead to pretty quick bonding, or at least an appreciation of each others’ works. I do like that.

I’ve also, as I have mentioned a couple times now, realized the worth of telling my own stories, particularly if I have other people to share them with who will respond positively. Right now, most of my D&D group is not aro, but they are a group that respects my and my character’s identities, and being able to tell an aro narrative that means a lot to me and get a positive response is a breath of fresh air. I count them as fellow content creators and they’ve really encouraged the story I want to tell. I hope that someday the inspiration I’ve gained from that will lead me to publishing my own original fiction (with aro characters, of course), but it’s been due to this small start that I’ve decided that’s something I could realistically pursue.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

Comments on my fics are one of the biggest things that keep me writing, so they’ll always be a boon to me. Even old ones. It makes me happy to see people still reading and enjoying them. Same goes for reblogs of any of my stuff – art, writing, filk, cosplay photos, anything else I might post. The biggest thing that keeps me wanting to create and share more creative works is knowing that other people are enjoying them, so if you do enjoy them, any way you can let me know that is wonderful.

I do hope that in some point in the future I’ll have original fiction available and a science writing blog (I consider non-fiction to be creative expression, as long as you’re putting your spark into it!), but neither exists quite yet. If you follow me on either of my main platforms though, those might pop up someday. Seeing either be circulated when the time comes would be massive. I also intend to, perhaps in the much nearer future, start publishing D&D content (likely homebrew 5e subclasses, but who knows) on the DMsGuild, starting with a pay-what-you-want model for downloading my content. If that goes up and I make something you’re interested in, and you want to pay something for it at all, I would be massively grateful.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

I’ve been working on a Critical Role Modern AU story since January or so that places heavy emphasis on the platonic relationships in the show (Percy and Keyleth’s is particularly dear to me, so they’re likely to get a fair bit of the spotlight) that’s my most current fandom fic.

I’m also tackling two ambitious cosplays at the moment, though the timeframe is making me wonder if I’ll actually pull either off. Especially given what I need to get done. One involves sewing pseudo-historical menswear, and I’m going to have to learn how to make armor for the other one. If I can figure it all out though, I’m really excited about them both!

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

Hopefully the next chapter of the CR fic, if I get hit with the inspiration (and motivation) to work on it soon. I also have another aromantic Luke Skywalker fic I really want to get down on paper at some point, though thus far it’s proven a little elusive.

My two big cosplay projects are Percy de Rolo (from Critical Role), which I intend to take to a local convention, and Erwyn, my own D&D character. I hope to do a photoshoot with the rest of the players as their own characters sometime late this summer.

As for art, I fully intend to keep drawing major or touching moments from my ongoing campaign, likely with much more frequency than any of the things above. It may not be as engaging for people to interact with as my fandom-focused projects are, but I still really do love sharing it.

31 notes · View notes

taz-writes · 6 years

Text

WIP questions tag

i got tagged by @eff-writes and I haven’t actually participated in a tag game in like 10 years, so here we go!

1. What is the working title of your book?

Book 1 is called The Beginning. Boring, I know... The series as a whole is called Feilan! It used to be The Feilan Chronicles but then I decided that was stupid.

(book 2 is The Queen of Feilan, book 3 is Storm and Shadow, book 4 is Liaea. 2 and 4 are literally perfect but 3 is Bad and needs replacing when I finish the manuscript.)

2. Where did the idea for your book come from?

It’s based on a recess game I used to play with friends in elementary school. You know how basically everyone was involved in that stupid Boys Versus Girls war in first and/or second grade? I was the leader of my school’s stupid Boys Versus Girls war, it was centered around “Fairyland,” and my friends and I all had these overly complicated self insert characters that we LARPed as during recess. Over the years, the boys vs girls thing faded away, but we kept playing fairies and developing the ~lore.~ When I got to sixth grade, I decided to write it all down for posterity, and that’s when the first concept of Feilan came into being. I wrote the first legitimate draft in 9th grade, after spending a few years developing the characters and world into something that could exist without relying on bad self insert Mary Sue logic.

There were a couple specific scenarios that we always wound up playing, and those are what the books’ core plots are about. Book 1 is the game we played at my house in the woods, usually searching for treasure. Book 2 is the ice skating rink game where we rescue Violet from the Frozen Isles, fused with the swimming pool game where we turn into mermaids. Book 3 is the one we played at my friend Emily’s house, where we built couch fort “prisons” and tried to escape without making enough noise to bother her dad. If we knocked too much stuff over, he’d come up and lecture us for interrupting his Warcraft game, so avoiding him became part of the LARP. Just typing this is bringing up vivid flashback-style memories.

3. What genre is your current work in progress?

High/heroic fantasy, with a drop of genre de/reconstruction added in for fun :)

4. Choose the actors for your movie rendition.

Lucy Liu has to play Lilac Ravenhart. I don’t care about anything else but she has to be Lilac, it’s perfect.

Honestly, if I got a movie, I’d want Sayara to be played by a total unknown because I feel like it fits her place in the story. She wants to be known as Sayara, the actor should want to be known as Sayara and not as whatever their last major role was. Plus I can’t think of any actresses who are short and buff enough.

5. Give a one-sentence synopsis of your book.

An ambitious illegitimate princess stumbles into a civil war and somehow manages to make herself a ~new legendary hero~, much to everyone else’s chagrin.

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agent?

I’m not sure yet! It would be awesome to have an agent and be published with a legit publishing house, but self-publishing is faster and easier. Considering that I’ll be trying to market a debut novel with niche appeal and no romantic subplot to speak of, which also has three sequels.... self-pub seems more likely right now.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft?

The first first draft? I plugged that baby out in six months back in high school, because I didn’t have anything else to do with my life. It added up to over 150,000 words, so that was no small feat. It’s taken progressively longer to finish every new draft since.

8. What other books would you compare your story to?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (frantic googling sounds)

Honestly, I have no clue. I’ve read lots of books with similar concepts or characters, but I’ve never read another book that was enough like mine for me to want to make a comparison. I’ve taken some inspo from Game of Thrones, but deep worldbuilding lore and too many characters isn’t enough similarity to make a good comparison. Most of the fantasy I’ve read lately has been in a very different vein from what I write, because I’m trying to push my boundaries.

9. Who or what inspired you to write the book?

I got into this a little with the “where’d the idea come from” question! But mostly, my inspiration was spite.

The reason for making this particular recess game into a novel was, simply, that I couldn’t find a single book in YA fantasy that gave me what I wanted out of a story. I wanted strong female leads, who didn’t fall in love or have a LI, who saved the world without being questioned because of their gender or being outshone at the final hour by random boys. Do yall know how rare books like that were (and are) in YA fantasy? Full respect to paranormal romance writers, but your genre was the bane of my existence in high school, because the library would always label it as fantasy, and they always stocked twice as much of it as they did the actual fucking fantasy. Poor little naive Taz would pick up book after book about cool monsters and seemingly-intriguing plots, only for it to devolve into Edgy Boy Love Triangles. I didn’t care about the sexy demon/angel/whateverthefuck boys! I wanted to know how the girl who was supposedly the protagonist was gonna save the world!

Also, I was really into fairies, but the only YA-ish author I could find who wrote about them was Holly Black. Who is a talented writer and I envy and respect her success, but that just wasn’t the kind of story I wanted to read, yknow? She’s too edgy, and the love interests are... that.

I’d sat on “the fairy story” for years at that point, but this powerful rage was the kicker to actually get me started. I was bitter and salty and figured that if nobody would give me what I wanted then I’d just have to make it myself. I already had this source material that was funny and weird and deep and (as far as I could tell) totally unique, so I took it and ran with it! My friends gave me a lot of inspiration, because a few of them still remembered the fairy game, and they wanted to know when their characters would show up. So I’d send them chapters as I finished them, and we’d all get excited about stupid inside jokes and goofy names.

10. What else about your book might pique a reader’s interest?

I think the deconstructive elements are the core appeal in Feilan. I have a lot of the trappings of standard high fantasy--the lost princess, the return of the evil, the big war, the chosen one--but they’re used with the intent of picking them apart to see what makes them tick. None of the elements listed are played entirely straight.

The main cast is made up of mostly royalty, and their positions have Actual Responsibilities that motivate the plot and their character development instead of just being set dressing.

Female friendships and relationships are really important to the story, no boys will ever appear to derail character arcs at any point.

One of the main characters (Violet) is a trans girl and I know people appreciate queer content

(most of the main characters are actually under the queer umbrella but it doesn’t really come up in canon since i have a lot of plot to deal with)

Sayara is a relatively unconventional character type (especially for a female protagonist), she’s ambitious and mostly confident in herself, and her conflict comes from the way other people treat her more than how she treats other people. She’s not forced to learn “humility,” she’s not forced to give up on what she wants. Instead she learns how to handle responsibility and move past naivety to realistic optimism, and how to achieve her goals without hurting other people by it. I feel like that’s a theme that should be way more common in YA fiction than it is right now. teenage girls are right about things sometimes!

i have Deep Worldbuilding(tm)

The magic system has categories and you can sort yourself. because we all know what’s really important here.

I’m not going to tag anyone new in this, because I’m tired and I don’t have the energy, but if you want to pass on the challenge then feel free to say I tagged you! :)

#taz talks #tag game #feilan #i spent like a half hour fondly reminiscing on the fairyland LARPs halfway through this #what a time that was #i used to bring my friends over to my house and we'd carve swords in the basement out of scrap wood #and give them super dramatic names #mine were nightshade and maximinimum #ngl though maximinimum has a certain ring to it #and then we'd go out back and hit vines with the swords and get really excited if we successfully cut something #sometimes we colored on the swords with magic markers #i still want to know why we spontaneously decided we hated emily's dad lmao #it's not like warcraft was the problem #emily also played warcraft #and we did get really loud and obnoxious #but oh well #The Characters In This Story Bear No Deliberate Resemblance To Any People Real Or Imagined #except amalie and melalina. amalie and melalina are valid and i got permission.#oh also the recess game thing is why there are so few male characters #all the heroes are girls because it started as girls vs boys #and then when i developed the villains i replaced a lot of boring 2D male characters with more interesting complicated women #leaving behind just the handful of men who remain

3 notes · View notes

ronaldsmcrae86 · 3 years

Text

How to Write a Bio Like a Superhero (Don’t Do These 6 Things)

Writing a good bio is hard.

You have to knock ’em dead with two or three dazzling sentences that show you’re a likable, credible, and accomplished expert.

When readers read your bio (aka byline), they must believe you’re the answer to their prayers — a superhero who will swoop in and solve the big problem keeping them awake at night.

(And if you’re a freelance writer, your short professional bio should make a potential client want to hire you on the spot.)

No pressure, right?

Here’s the good news:

Learning how to write a compelling bio that dazzles readers doesn’t require feats of strength or the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

And, best of all, it’s a process that works whether you’re doing a professional bio, an author bio, or a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram bio.

Let’s dive in.

But first, we’ll look at a few short bio examples that make readers run for the exits…

The 6 Common Bio Blunders That Make You Look Like an Amateur (And What to Do Instead)

1. Making It All About You

I’m Jill — a free-spirit with a passion for quilting, bird watching, Tai Chi, and calligraphy.”

Thanks for sharing, Jill. But do I really care? Nah.

It’s confusing, I know. “Bio” is short for biography, which suggests it should be all about you. But the main purpose of your author bio is to show your audience how you can help them solve their problem with the professional skills you bring to the table.

So, it’s not about you, Jill. It’s about them.

What to Do Instead:

In this post on sensory words, using almost the same number of words as Jill, Kevin gives us just enough information about himself to tell us what he does and how he helps his audience.

As the Editor in Chief at Smart Blogger, Kevin J. Duncan helps readers learn the ropes of blogging, hone their writing skills, and find their unique voice so they can stand out from the crowd.

It’s clear, precise, and focused on the outcome, not on Kevin. He uses phrases like “hone their writing skills,” and “stand out from the crowd,” which directly target the deep-rooted desires of aspiring writers. He speaks their language.

Here’s another tip: It’s usually best to write in the third person, as Kevin does in the above bio example. It’s more professional.

2. Writing a Condensed Resume, or a Laundry List of Accomplishments

John Brown is a qualified personal trainer with a sports medicine degree from Fremont College, as well as professional certifications from the American College of Sports Medicine and the National Strength and Conditioning Association.

Your professional biography is not a dumping ground for your career path, job titles, and qualifications. It’s a tiny elevator pitch that’s selling you as a credible solver of your reader’s problems.

So don’t list every degree you have or talk about your first job out of school. Readers don’t really care. They only care whether or not you have the solutions they are looking for.

What to Do Instead:

Your bio should only include details about yourself that directly relate to your intended audience’s problem.

Think about your career, education, and skill set, and then carefully select the most pertinent facts that are going to impress the audience you are writing for. Like this:

Jessi Rita Hoffman is a book editor who helps authors get their books out of their heads and into print. A former publishing house editor-in-chief, she has edited books for Donald Trump and bestselling/award-winning authors. Visit her blog for writers here.

Jessi tells us the most important thing about herself (that she is a book editor), and what she can do for her audience (get their books into print), while establishing her credibility (“best-selling,” “editor-in-chief”).

Everything she mentions is designed to appeal to the audience she’s trying to reach.

3. Sharing Irrelevant Details or Stuff You Think Your Audience Should Care About

Joe Brown is a content and affiliate marketer with a passion for snowboarding. When he’s not at his computer, you can find him at his nearest half-pipe, or maybe on Twitter @joeb, where he likes to tweet about his pet python. Alternatively, try his email at [email protected], and he’ll probably shoot you back a list of his favorite origami folds.

This sample bio is from someone whose expertise is content and affiliate marketing, although he hides it well.

Much like your degrees and career path, your audience doesn’t care about your hobbies, passions, and personal details either, unless they directly impact the problem they’re trying to solve.

What to Do Instead:

As mentioned earlier, only share the details that your audience will find relevant.

If you’re mad keen on knitting and you’re writing for an arts and crafts blog, then go ahead and mention your passion. It’s relevant. But don’t tell them about your cat, unless Fluffy can knit too.

4. Trying to Cram Too Much In

Okay, so you’ve managed to include only relevant details about yourself, so you’re safe. Right?

Not if you included too many of them.

Like this one from Jo. She’s had an impressive career with many accomplishments, but her bio feels endless:

Jo Smith is a personal finance blogger with 20 years of experience in accounting, international banking, and financial planning. She started as a trainee bank teller in Little Rock, Arkansas, before completing her accounting degree and climbing the corporate ladder at Citibank. More recently, Jo decided to follow her dreams and leave the safety net of her six-figure salary to start her own coaching business.

This is way too much information.

Writing your own bio can be hard. Sometimes you’re too close to the subject matter to realize what’s important and what can be left out. But your bio isn’t the place to share your entire life story and every single accomplishment, and it certainly shouldn’t have an endless word count. You need to be picky.

What to Do Instead:

With some careful pruning, the real gems hidden away in Jo’s personal biography can be given center stage:

Jo Smith is a personal finance blogger and coach with 20 years of experience in the high-powered world of international banking and accountancy. Jo is on a mission to help everyday families build sustainable wealth, stop stressing about their financial security, and start living the life they’ve always wanted.

Go through your bio word by word and ask yourself, “Does this bit of information make any difference to my audience?”

If the answer is no, take it out, and limit your bio to two or three sentences.

5. Being Overly Formal (a.k.a. Boring)

Joe Jones is an accomplished marketing consultant who specializes in the field of physician practices. He works with medical centers and practitioners to maximize their online real estate, garner new market segments, and engender business growth.

If you’re anything like me, you had to read this bio more than once to get a sense of what Joe does. It’s way too formal. Most people will just glaze over this.

What to Do Instead:

Instead of using stilted words and phrases like “maximize their online real estate” and “engender business growth”, Joe missed a great opportunity to showcase his personal brand and make himself stand out from the crowd.

Perhaps he could have started with something like:

“Joe Jones is an expert marketer who can take your medical practice from queasy to fighting fit…”

Do you see how that might grab a few more eyeballs, cut through the noise, and make an impact with his target audience of doctors?

6. Being Vague (or Overly Woo-Woo)

Cecile is a life coach and devoted mom. She loves day breaks and giving things a go. She is passionate about her fellow humans and wants to be their inspiration for growth, as they find their way through the dark to their true self.

Hands up, whoever doesn’t have a clue what this person is talking about. What does she do? How does she help solve my problem? Why should I be interested in her?

You need to avoid ambiguous phrases like “inspiration for growth” and “find their way through the dark.” These phrases might have a nice ring to them, but they mean very little to your reader. They’re too open to interpretation.

What to Do Instead:

You don’t have time to beat around the bush in your bio. Get straight to the point. Like this:

Cecile is a qualified self-development coach who is passionate about helping professional women develop the skills and self-assurance they need to take control of their working lives. Download her free guide, How to Quit Your Dead-End Job Without Risking Your Income, and open the door to your dream career today.

In two sentences, Cecile tells me everything I need to know about what she does and how she can help me. No fluff, no messing about, and a juicy opt-in bribe to seal the deal.

How to Write a Bio That Begs to be Clicked

Introduce Yourself with a Bang

Call Out Your Audience and Say How You Help Them

Offer an Irresistible Reason to Click

So now you can see where you might’ve gone wrong with your bio after you started your blog, and you’re dying to write a new version of it. But how do you ensure your next bio won’t commit the same blunders?

Easy. Just follow this simple three-step process to write a professional bio that your ideal readers can’t resist clicking.

1. Introduce Yourself with a Bang

This is where you tell the audience who you are and what makes you different (while avoiding the common blunders we’ve just discussed). You need to spark their interest and curiosity and get them to say, “Tell me more.”

Let’s start with this example from a blogger in the personal development niche.

Sue Smith is a self-help writer and coach with a degree in psychology…

This tells me what Sue does, but it’s rather dull and same-y in a sea full of personal development blogs. For a first sentence, it’s too bland. There’s nothing here to set her apart or pique our interest.

Let’s give it a twist:

Self-help writer, Sue Smith, is part social scientist, part agony aunt, who…

That sounds a bit more interesting. Sue manages to appeal to her audience on different levels by sounding educated, professional, and personable at the same time. Describing herself as an “agony aunt” downplays the more clinical “social scientist.”

I’m curious to know more, and it certainly makes her distinctive.

But there’s another angle Sue could take:

Sue Smith is a certified psychologist who specializes in beating social anxiety.

Now, this one is more similar to the first example, but the difference is that it adds more credibility — “certified psychologist” sounds much more credible than “has a degree in,” which suggests she’s fresh out of college — but it also sets her apart more.

She has a specialty, which gives her ideas on the topic more weight than others. If you suffer from social anxiety, you’d want to listen to the expert on it, right?

Compare also:

Sue Smith’s books on beating social anxiety have won her international acclaim. She has been featured as an expert on Psychology Today, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and Good Morning America.

This version goes even further in establishing Sue’s credibility. Not only has she published multiple books on the topic of social anxiety, but she’s even been featured on some well-known media channels, adding social proof to her expertise.

We’ve talked before about not delivering a laundry list of accomplishments, but if you have specific accomplishments that make you stand out, those are worth including.

Here’s an excellent bio example that both offers a point of interest and adds credibility:

Jessica’s outside-the-box approach to business plan writing has helped her clients collectively raise almost $50 million in financing to start and grow new businesses. Sign up for her 5-part business plan training series for FREE here so you can get your business plan done and get your money sooner.

Jessica doesn’t just say she’ll help you write a business plan, she mentions she has an “outside-the-box approach,” which immediately makes you curious what that approach is. Then she steps it up even more by mentioning her approach has collectively raised $50 million in financing. That’s nothing to sneeze at and creates instant credibility.

It’s an excellent bio that will absolutely pique her audience’s interest.

2. Call Out Your Audience and Say How You Help Them

Remember, this isn’t about you, it’s about what you can do for your audience. So you need to define who they are and what problem of theirs (their key fear or desire) you can solve.

You should aim for both a logical and emotional connection. It’s tough, but do-able.

Let’s take Kim, a blogger in the parenting niche:

Kim’s passion in writing is to inspire other parents to not just “hang in there” or “make it through” but to thrive. She does this through blogging at kimbiasottotoday.wordpress.com and speaking engagements.

By using language most parents will relate to and zeroing in on their fears, Kim makes a strong emotional connection. At the same time, there’s no mistaking the practical (logical) solution Kim offers.

Note: Of course, Kim’s bio would be even further improved if she had a call to action that linked to an incentive rather than her homepage. More on that in the next step!

Here’s another example:

Jessica Blanchard, registered dietitian and Ayurvedic practitioner, helps busy people re-energize with super simple food, yoga, and wellness strategies that work. Grab your free 7-Day Plan and learn to eat, move, and live better in ten minutes a day.

Jessica clarifies immediately who she helps (busy people) and how she helps them (by re-energizing them through food, yoga, and wellness strategies).

You must be absolutely clear about this. If readers can’t identify themselves in your bio and see you have the solution they’re looking for, they will move on.

3. Offer an Irresistible Reason to Click

You’ve told your audience who you are, what you do, and how you can help them. You’ve impressed them with your credentials and sparked their curiosity.

They’re ready to move to second base, but they need that last push. An irresistible reason to click through to your site and sign up. You need to offer an incentive.

Take a look at this bio:

Henneke Duistermaat is an irreverent copywriter and business writing coach. She’s on a mission to stamp out gobbledygook and to make boring business blogs sparkle. Get her free 16-Part Snackable Writing Course For Busy People and learn how to enchant your readers and win more business.

Boom! In 46 carefully curated words, Henneke tells us who she is, what she does, how she can help, and then gives us a gold-plated reason for parting with our email address.

Her free report is 16 parts, but it’s “snackable,” which makes it sound very easy to digest. And it’s for “busy people,” which shows Henneke understands her audience. She promises results and cleverly relates this back to her own blog, Enchanting Marketing.

Unfortunately, we can’t all steal Henneke’s bio, but we can use it as a fine example of how to write our own.

Ready to Write Your Best Bio Ever?

Writing a bio like a superhero is simple, but it’s not easy, so give your bio the time it requires. You should brainstorm several options for each of the steps.

Whether they’re concluding an article you’ve written or they’re inside your Instagram bio (or Twitter bio, Facebook bio, LinkedIn profile, or, heck, any other social media profile), a great bio is hard to craft. But, they are also one of the most effective pieces of marketing you can create when you get it right.

You now know how to write a bio your audience will love. They’ll want to know more and they won’t be able to resist your free offer.

They’ll see you as a credible, personable problem-solver. Their problem-solver.

And they’ll click through to your personal website, ready and willing to hand over their email address to their new blogging superhero.

You.

Note: For a handy visual reminder of the six bio blunders you can download or share on your own website, check out the image below:

Embed This Infographic On Your Site:

<!—– Copy and Paste This Code Into Your Post —-><a href=”https://smartblogger.com/how-to-write-a-bio/”><img src=”https://smartblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/6-common-blunders-v3.png” alt=”The 6 Common Bio Blunders That Make You Look Like an Amateur (And What to Do Instead)” width=”700px” class=”noa3lazy”/></a> <a href=”https://smartblogger.com/how-to-write-a-bio/”>The 6 Common Bio Blunders That Make You Look Like an Amateur (And What to Do Instead) from SmartBlogger.com</a>

The post How to Write a Bio Like a Superhero (Don’t Do These 6 Things) appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/how-to-write-a-bio/

0 notes

junker-town · 3 years

Text

Secret Base Hall of Fame: Casey Fossum

Photo by Andy Lyons /Getty Images

One day fifteen years ago, this man ruined me.

“Eephus” is a stupid-looking name for a stupid-looking pitch. Only a few players across Major League Baseball history have regularly thrown it, and Casey Fossum is one of them.

Many of the greatest pitchers of all time have found success mostly by changing speeds. If you can throw 95 miles per hour one minute and 77 the next, you make it tough for the batter to lock in and time it right. This only really works if you can make it look like either one might be coming out of your hand. You can’t tip off the batter. Your delivery needs to look the same.

If you wanted to right now, you could give yourself an oversimplified demonstration of how high of an art this is. Wad up a paper ball or something. Throw it as hard as you can, paying close attention to how your arm and your body moves when you throw it. Now mimic that same throwing motion, but only throw it half as hard. You’ll then have some iota of how difficult this is to do with a baseball from 60 feet away.

But the eephus? That only hits the mitt at 55, 50, even 45 miles per hour. Here is what Fossum’s looked like.

Some GIFs make a sound, and this one sounds like a slide whistle. It’s cartoonish in appearance, and it can work if it’s deployed smartly — in one newspaper report, teammates noted that he only threw about three eephus pitches per game. Deploy it too often, and they’ll catch on to you. You have to keep it a weird, sad surprise, like a cigarette butt in a load of laundry.

I don’t know why the 25 or so notable eephus pitchers in baseball history picked up that pitch, but greatness is not the common denominator. Casey Fossum was not at all a great pitcher by Major League Baseball standards; in fact, among pitchers to make at least 100 starts, Fossum finished with one of the worst ERAs of all time. But you will not hear me denigrate his abilities for two reasons: first, he was, of course good enough to stick around and make those 100-plus starts in the first place.

And second, the video game version of Casey Fossum inflicted upon me a great and terrible humiliation. One that made me swear off baseball video games forever. To this day, I have not returned.

It’s 2006, I’m 23 years old, and we’re in my apartment. This story is about Casey Fossum and not me, so I’ll only pull the curtain back a little.

If you look to the left of the TV, you’ll see a weight bench. I have a friend who likes to drive around and pick up random junk that people have left on the curb. One day he stopped by unannounced, back when people just did that, with the weight bench in the back of his truck. “You want this? I’ve already got one.” Sure.

We lugged it up to my place, and it wasn’t until a couple days later that I tried to use it, stood up, took a close look at it, and realized that it was a child-sized weight bench. This possibility never occurred to me because I didn’t realize such a thing existed. Was I mistaken here? Another friend stopped by. “No, yeah, dude, this thing is for kids. It’s gotta be.” I’m too lazy to try to sell, it, and I’m certainly not going to pay a junk hauler to drive it away, because I don’t have the kind of money you need to do … anything, really. So it’s sat there for a year. It doesn’t do anything and it isn’t going anywhere. Takes one to know one, pal.

If we can direct our attention back to the right, I’m firing up Major League Baseball 2K6 on my Xbox. I don’t know why! I don’t even like playing this game! I felt, and still feel, that realistic baseball video games are a bad idea. They should either be oversimplified like the R.B.I. Baseball series, or off-the-wall lunacy like Mario Superstar Baseball. The art of getting good wood on the ball can’t possibly be simulated by a single button-press, but that’s what this game has stuck you with, so batting really feels more like bet-placing than anything.

I’m in the lobby of this game I suck at and don’t enjoy, waiting for an online match. This is only gonna piss me off, because even by 2006 standards, my internet connection is terrible. I’ve lost Yahoo! Chess matches due to lag, that’s how bad it is. I get matched up, and as the loading screen appears, I hear some kid’s voice crackle through the mic. He probably isn’t older than 12.

Online gaming with kids is a pretty weird experience that we all just kind of have to get used to. You’ve been robbed of your superior social standing. You’re not any more dignified than they are. This is not a friendly game of Mario Kart with your youngest sibling, and you can’t laugh it off as a friendly match that’s all in fun. That’s not why people play online games. We play to win, not to have fun. Who took the time to upload a custom avi? Who carefully monitors their rating? Who patiently waited in the lobby for five minutes to find a ranked match? You did, dummy, just like they did. You’re taking this equally seriously and you cannot even try to pretend otherwise.

I’m beginning to think I might collect my first-ever win when I see that he’s chosen the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, one of the worst teams in baseball. The only real draw for selecting this team lies in Scott Kazmir, their young ace with a high-90s fastball and a terrific slider. I’m further amused when this kid doesn’t even start him.

He starts Casey Fossum.

At this time, I have no idea Fossum has an eephus pitch, or what an eephus even is. Unlike the real-life Fossum, the kid throws this thing so often that his fastball is actually the off-speed pitch. It goes something like eephus, fastball, eephus, eephus, fastball, eephus. When he strikes out the side in the first inning, all I can really do is laugh. I’ve never seen a pitch that looked like that. It moves like the clay pigeons in Duck Hunt. But it’s fine, I’ll figure it out.

He strikes out the side in the second as well. I just cannot figure this guy out. The eephus is such a strange pitch that even when I guess correctly that an eephus is coming, I still miss somehow. I can’t even make contact. Worst of all, I can’t even work the count, because the vast majority of his pitches are landing over the plate.

Around batter number five, I hear him over the mic:

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

This will continue throughout the rest of the game. He doesn’t stop.

Heading into the third inning, I talk myself through a strategy: listen, if he’s going to keep throwing the eephus, just assume he’s throwing one every single time. If I’m late on a fastball, I’m late. Just hit the eephus. If I time it right, I could hit that thing 500 feet.

He then strikes me out on three straight fastballs, all of which I am comically late on. I immediately abandon this strategy.

What, lil’ bitch

Lil’ stupid-ass bitch

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

I don’t have a mic, and thank God for that.

Beyond completely destroying the opponent’s sense of timing — a thing already compromised by the lag — there’s another special utility to the eephus as deployed against you in an online game. It makes you look like a total idiot. You’re finished with your swing before the ball is even halfway to the plate. If you bet the other way and guess wrong, you don’t even begin to swing until the ball’s basically in the mitt. Video Game Fossum doesn’t even have to fool you with pitch placement. Every ball goes over the plate. He’s attacking your your ability to time, sense, react. He’s directly attacking your intellect.

Nothing will tilt an online gamer quite like being obviously and repeatedly outsmarted and made to look like a dummy. Someone will find out you’re susceptible to one particular parlor trick and beat you to death with it. There’s the phase in which you recognize what’s being done, how it’s happening, and what you need to do to counteract it. What comes after is the phase in which you realize that there’s nothing you can do. Your opponent has run this playbook a hundred times against a hundred clueless marks. You’re next on this merry-go-round, and you’re here to lose.

Hey lil’ bitch

What’s up lil’ bitch

What lil’ bitch

What what lil’ bitch

It’s the fourth inning. 12 up, 12 down, all strikeouts. This is a perfectly-targeted attack on my ego.

I think I’m smart. I think I’m an excellent tactician when it comes to video games, my abilities forged in the fires of Madden ‘93, Perfect Dark, and Rainbow Six, but also informed by the dark arts of weird old DOS strategy games. Games like Warlords and Nobunaga’s Ambition that required mastery of troops and economies to conduct campaigns of great conquest. Games this kid is too young to have a clue about.

I also think I know a lot about baseball. I watch it constantly. Even in 2006, I’m poring through Baseball-Reference every day. I want to write for a living someday, and if it can ever somehow happen, it feels like baseball is my ticket in. I’m a professional baseball writer in training. I should know what an eephus pitch is.

I think I’m a pretty laid-back guy. I don’t get angry easily. I’m really easygoing. I get along well with people. At the tech-support call center I work at, my supervisor notes in my reviews that I’m very good at de-escalating, which is to say that when mad people call me, I’m good at helping them feel more understood and less mad.

All these things mean a lot to me. They’re the basis of my ego. Hey, look at that guy. You know, he doesn’t have his shit together at all and is actually kind of a doofus, but hey, he’s a smart guy who knows stuff and is good with people. That’s something.

All those pillars are shaking. I’m a shiftless bum who can’t hit a 55-MPH pitch to save my life because I don’t know anything about baseball, and on top of that, I’m being absolutely driven up the wall by a Video Game Casey Fossum and some random 12-year-old who’s outsmarting me every chance he gets.

He is way better than me at everything I thought I was good at. My self-esteem is being annihilated.

Lil’ old bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

Lil’ old bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

One thing that to this day makes me an absolute loser is that I take online gaming etiquette very seriously. I never abandon a match, no matter how badly I’m getting destroyed. Someone can say incredibly cutting things to me and I’ll say “Thanks!” and pretend I’m not mad, that this doesn’t matter to me. Kill ‘em with kindness, you know? I’m above this. I’m better than this.

When you’re 23 years old and nothing feels like it’s breaking the right way, if it’s even breaking any way at all, it’s a lot more difficult to feel that way. But I try, I really do. I refuse to abandon the match. I am determined to solve this puzzle. This can only last for so long. Even if I can’t win this game, I can at least light him up a little bit, proving to both of us that, yes, I figured him out.

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

Lil’ old bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

Imagine the experience of losing 50 consecutive rounds of rock-paper-scissors, and you might have a sense of what this is like. I’ve fouled off a handful of pitches, but I haven’t put a single ball into play. This kid is a genius, but it’s not really about that anymore, it’s about how fundamentally bad at this I am. Can I at least be okay at a video game? We’ve settled that I’m a stupid baby who doesn’t know anything and gets mad at things that don’t matter. Can I have this, at least? No.

I hope this kid thinks I’m someone his age. I hope it never occurs to him that he’s thoroughly embarrassing a grown man so badly that he’ll write about it a decade and a half later.

And I’d like Casey Fossum to know that for one day, on two televisions, he was a god.

Having surrendered every other claim I thought I had, my sense of honor is the last thing to go. Somewhere around the seventh inning, I disconnect. I don’t have time to navigate through the menus. I have run out of oxygen. I unplug the console from the wall. It was a tornado, for all that kid knows. I never play an online baseball game again.

0 notes

marvelandponder · 7 years

Photo

Rainbow Power, Y’all

Happy (belated) Pride month, everybody! I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of how I wanted to talk about gay ponies. Mostly because I literally never shut up about it so writing a opinion-based Should MLP Have a Gay Couple? editorial would be kind of self-explanatory. Kind of really self-explanatory.

Plus, we already have one. Lyra and Bon Bon might have to chant “best friends” a hundred times before they can make goo-goo eyes at each other, but that body language and even just the way they talk to each other in is pretty telling.

Damn, that’s pretty gay.

Oh and also this happened last year on the official Facebook apparently:

God, I love this show. Taking into account the fact that the other two are married couples, this is a Valentines Day promotion, and that making someone’s heart “gallop” can’t really be misconstrued as platonic, I seriously love this.

So, I mean, I can’t exactly stop you from interpreting them as platonic, but I would consider them canon and I’m even glad for the subtlety. Not all depictions need to state the obvious, so long as it is obvious.

I think with these two the intention was to make it ambiguous enough for parents to decide if they want to explain the concept. Kids aren’t stupid, but I think the demographic won’t pick up on the context clues that this could be a romantic relationship when they’ve been primed with the words “best friends” a number of times.

So, at that point, it’s up to the parents who watch the show with their kids to decide (if they haven’t already) if this is how and when they’d like to explain the concept of a same-sex relationship, with this as a visual aide. If Lyra and Bon Bon end up being baby’s first gay relationship, so to speak, that’s awesome.

So, if I’m so satisfied with those two, why write this? Why push for more in an already accepting climate, especially when an effort has already been made? Isn’t that greedy? Or exploitative? Has my shipping brain finally lead me down the road to delusion?

I hear you answering yes to that last one, but I’m just gonna ignore that.

As to the question, it comes down to the word choice. I’m not asking if it should be done---it’s already been done. I’m not asking if Hasbro would allow it, because whether or not they’d show a lot of support, they have shown some.

I’m asking how it could be done with the intention of explaining why it would or wouldn’t add something of value.

Because the landscape of children’s television is changing rapidly. From the time Friendship is Magic started in 2010 until good ol’ 2017, the number of kids’ shows that have incorporated LGBT+ characters and couples has only grown exponentially from before.

On top of that, I’m a little biased in my perception, but I’m not the only one whose noticed that this year’s pride month has been the most visibly celebrated yet. For better or worse, the amount of companies trying to support the LGBT+ community during pride has only grown.

This year’s Amazon Pride float was Rainbow Dash and MLP themed in Dublin. Don’t know if Amazon got Hasbro’s permission to use their character in a parade, but they gave her a horn because unicorns apparently are gay (just as a rule) and now she’s an alicorn.

By the way, they totally messed up those flags. If it had said My Little Pride, they could’ve been selling thousands of them. To me. Wasted potential, I tell you.

And again my bias showing: I can’t speak for other regions, but where I live all public schools, from elementary to universities and colleges, have rainbow pride flags flying.

All the schools I’ve gone to growing up are now flying pride flags for a full month.

That’s... I can’t tell you how heartwarming it is to see. And my elementary school services kindergarten kids all the way up to grade 8---some children as young as 5-6 years old are now growing up with that being a natural part of their environment throughout their entire childhood.

When we were growing up and I think in a lot of places around the world still, there was a question of when it should be taught to kids and whether the concept alone was age appropriate, but little by little, that’s just not the case anymore.

From their shows and media to even some of their schools, more and more kids are learning about this in a natural way from a young age, to the point that it is just love and it is just who these people are to them. And for once I mean it when I say I think that’s beautiful.

But things evolve like this at different rates in different places, so we’re not perfect yet, and the push for more is out of a desire to see the progress continue and for more groups than the ones that are typically represented.

Would I be heartbroken if this was as gay as MLP ever got? Nah (besides, through the power of denial, all my ships are already canon!). But at this point the question is starting to become why not? instead of just why? so even if this remains a hypothetical discussion, I think it’s still an important one.

I’m going to forever cherish the subtlety of those Lyra and Bon Bon scenes, but it’s the first pride month that I’ve been out and I feel like celebrating. Let’s get gay.

Love in Friendship is Magic

Right off the bat, I think it’s important to establish that we’re not trying to change the show fundamentally. It’s about friendship, and while other relationships are shown to be deep and fulfilling as well (family and even romantic), the show’s focus on how meaningful friendship is great.

But here’s my thing with the “this show is about friendship!” argument. It’s not like we don’t already have other types of relationships. Several episodes have been dedicated to developing purely familial relationships.

And even beyond the platonic, Spike has (had?) a crush that factored into the plot of a few episodes, Big Mac now seems to have an on-going relationship, and there are a few prominent married couples. This stuff exists largely in the background, comparatively, but it’s not like romance doesn’t have a place in the show. It just doesn’t surpass the focus on friendship.

So, yeah, just because they have a romance doesn’t mean it has to take over the show, nor should it.

If we were going to go the route of canonizing an LGBT+ couple, that would still be something to take into account.

It doesn’t mean that main characters can’t have a romance necessarily, just that they should work in a friendship lesson along with it.

If Starlight and Trixie were dating for instance (she said, as if it was a random example instead of her ship), a story would probably mostly center around their friends helping them through relationship troubles or preparing for adorable dates. Or, on the flip side, their friends learning the lesson of when not to interfere.

Or, now that Starlight’s cutie mark is on the map (indicating that other ponies can be called if necessary), perhaps a couple could be called to solve a friendship problem instead of two friends.

Basically, so long as there’s still some element of friendship, the writers can introduce a new kind of relationship and develop it in tandem with the friendships already present.

Or, as there is in The Perfect Pear (without giving spoilers beyond what the summary said, for those waiting for the US release), we could just have an episode with a bigger focus on a romance.

Notice how all these scenarios aren’t dependent on the idea that this romance be queer. I’m a bit torn on this issue, because I can see both sides, but I think I usually lean towards the idea that because there ideally doesn’t need to be a difference between straight romances and gay romances, there doesn’t need to be a story reason for them to be gay.

Like I said, I do see the appeal of stories that require the couple and/or characters to be queer, but there’s pros and cons to either side.

We don’t necessarily need to see a story dealing with homophobia in Equestria, in part because that contrasts so much with the Equestria we already know. It’s too loving. It took 4 seasons to address Scootaloo’s disability not because no one noticed, but because everyone accepted her for who she was (aside from DT and SS). It’s not like homophobia or hatred can’t exist in this world, but it’s just not widespread.

A really good reason to include romance in general and even “different kinds of love” so to speak is to give Cadence more screen-time and development.

I’d love to see the Princess of Love guiding her subjects! She could even help a character come out, which would be both a reason to have an LGBT+ character and/or romance in the show, but also make the concept relatable to young kids---a story about accepting who you are and what you love makes sense to them.

I think there’s definitely potential to take this in interesting places, develop pre-established characters and relationships, and all without stealing the focus from friendship too much.

Who Wins the Dreaded Shipping Wars

On the right, Ashleigh Ball posting a fanmade picture of an AppleDash wedding for World Pride Day. On the left, IDW comic writer Jeremy Whitley arguing for FlutterDash... either way, I’m down for this.

Fan expectation is a funny thing.

We both crave for the show to address what we’ve long speculated on, and dread it.

In the case of the Apple family’s parents, there’s been countless emotional fan-theories, stories, and ideas, and yet The Perfect Pear remains one of the most anticipated episodes (for those who have yet to watch it).

With Slice of Life, we were surprised to find some headcanons confirmed and celebrated, but also some destroyed by canon.

I think when it comes to confirming LGBT+ characters and relationships, it’s really no different. We all have different ideas about who these characters are, and those of us who ship have ideas about who they might like.

So, yeah, even if we went down the road of confirming minor characters as LGBT+, if we already know them, it would likely step on a few toes. But honestly I’d rather step on those toes than introduce a new character for the sole purpose of them being gay. Sorta boils them down to just one purpose/one “trait.”

And in the end, as much as it sucks to have your ship sunk or your headcanons burst into flames, 1. If we never wanted the show to establish new things about these characters, why continue watching? and 2. My friends, I’ve been a shipper for a long time and I can say from experience: a ship doesn’t sink even when canon contradicts you. Denial and imagination are a fan’s most awesome tools.

Oh and would you look at that, my transition is here.

Love in EQG

Just as a sidenote, because of what I ship, I’ve said before that I think the Equestria Girls franchise would actually be a perfect place to include LGBT+ relationships because the series already has a heavier focus on romance than the show.

If you’re going to have these high school drama romance subplots, which is a staple of the series now, might as well go ahead and make it gay! *Cough* Sciset still makes the most sense from a storytelling perspective *cough*

Queerer than Ever Before

I wanted to include a section like this because it’s something we’re still working on in animation as a whole: representing more than just gay and lesbian relationships.

I’m happy to report bisexuals and in and out of relationships are also now getting more love, but that’s about where the buck stops. Steven Universe has the closest thing to trans and bigender or androgynous representation, which is mostly not literal. As in, they have fusions of two different characters, and characters like Garnet who feel better in a different form, but as of yet there’s no straight up trans or non-cis-gendered characters.

BMO from Adventure Time could certainly count as gender-fluid, though, so it’s not all bad news bears.

Pansexuality and asexuality have yet to be represented in children’s animation (in adult animation, Rick Sanchez of Rick and Morty is canonically pansexual, though!) aside from Spongebob being confirmed to be asexual off-screen by the show’s creator “because he’s a sponge.”

We’re largely still figuring out how these people and more groups I haven’t even mentioned ideally should be represented, but trying is still the first step.

For example, Big Mac’s not trans, but while I reaaaally didn’t love that his cross-dressing was a joke in Brotherhooves Social, I can also appreciate the fact that everyone around him was aware he was originally a stallion but let him compete in the Sisterhooves Social anyway, a trans issue we’re still debating in reality.

So, the comedy of the episode is kinda transphobic (not because Big Mac is trans, he’s not in canon, but because the comedy comes from him being in drag), but once again Equestria itself proves to be a really accepting, tolerant place.

And I think it can be hard to know how to represent these voices well (there’s also the fact that MLP theoretically could hire on a guest writer, as they do now every season, if they wanted to specifically have someone who’s non-cisgendered tackle a story of that nature), but hey, why not be the first to try? Wouldn’t it suit the show’s loving nature to be inclusive?

LGBT+ in Equestria

More and more these days it’s becoming the norm to include more ways to love others and oneself in kids cartoons. You could argue not every show needs to have LGBT+ inclusion, which I can agree with, but by the same token and especially for shows with an expansive world, no serialized ongoing plot to adhere to, and focus on love and acceptance already, the show doesn’t need to be entirely straight, either.

Ask why not, instead of just why.

There are ways to make romance relevant to the target audience without teaching them they need it to be happy, and there are ways of explaining these concepts to them without forcing a political stance. For kids, it’s simple. Love is love, and you are who you are. That’s really all there is to it.

I’d be over the moon if the show ever had the chance to represent more than they already have. In the same way I wanted to Applejack’s parents to be dead, I’d ideally want to see how MLP specifically would deal with this hard topic with its usual kindness, gentleness, and love. As in the former case, I think it has the potential to be something wonderful.

In the end, though, I of course can’t say if we will ever see more, or exactly would or should it would be handled.

I suppose we can only hope to follow Lyra and Bon Bon’s example.

Other MLP stuff? Oh yeah, I’ve done that! I’ve got more editorials like this one over here, and episode reviews over here. But because plain old links aren’t pretty, have the last three things I’ve done with purty pictures:

Dr. Wolf Theory Reading, Parental Glidenace Review, and Celestia/Daybreaker Editorial

Year of the Pony

Visuals in this Post Wouldn’t Be Possible Without...

Pinkie Pie Vector by MPNoir Flag Vector by JayBugJimmies Lyra and Bon Bon Poster by BronybyException

Art from talented artists, what could be better? Hit up those links and check out their awesome galleries!

The Real Agenda Here is My Shipping Agenda

67 notes · View notes

squiirby · 6 years

Text

you know i’ve really been thinking about...how Kuron and Shiro kinda like, just became one person when Allura transferred his spirit from the Black Lion. from what i’ve read in the interviews, the writers really are treating them as the same person now, which i’m kinda neutral on. like, okay, i wasn’t a huge fan of how they entirely shelved Kuron, because i really wanted clone angst and Shiro adopting him as a brother, you know? that would have been amazing.

but the thing is, i’m not really...upset with how it is now.

i mean, think about it: all Kuron ever wanted was to be Shiro. over and over seasons 3-6 show us, constantly, how Kuron firmly believes he is, was, and will continue to be the Black Paladin we love so much. the dnd episode is one of the most prominent, but definitely not only, clues we have to how much Kuron believed he was Shiro. and whenever he felt like that might not be the case, he was threatened, he reacted poorly and lashed out because it scared him and set off all kinds of alarms. Shiro is no stranger to mental agony, not even a clone with his memories, not to mention Kuron had plenty of unfavorable moments himself.

that was something i noticed when rewatching the other Kuron-centered episodes after seeing s6- you can practically see how threatened he feels, how confused he is, i mean, he straight up tells Lance he doesn’t feel “like himself” and it’s obviously affecting him very poorly. but he apologizes for it afterward, he realizes what he did wrong and consciously acknowledges that there is something just not right.

which, of course, leads to the discovery of him being a clone.

but there’s so much talk about if really taking Kuron’s body for Shiro was the right thing to do, and honestly my first thought is: I genuinely think it’s better for Kuron this way. why? because Kuron, as a clone with every single one of Shiro’s memories down to the letter, truly believed he was Shiro, right up until the end. and him merging, or i like the term “fusing” for this actually, with his original self, the person he wanted to be, is like...not a bad thing for him, I think.

Kuron maintained an essence, and a personality, which we know wasn’t exactly like Shiro’s but the poor boy was giving it his best damn shot. and Haggar can’t just create Kuron a soul- Kuron’s soul was Shiro’s, in the most loose sense of the word. they were, in the end, practically the same person, but not. his memories, his past, everything that made Shiro Shiro was there.

So Kuron’s dying essence being fused with Shiro’s is...actually kind of okay, in my eyes. to me, i don’t really see it as loosing one or the other. they’re one and the same, they’re happy as them. I don’t honestly think either Shiro or Kuron really know now they were ever separate- it’s a fusion of two souls practically meant to be together. as mentioned in interviews, Shiro has Kuron’s memories, and he knows they weren’t his, but will that bother him? probably not, since i bet my last nickel and a fish stick that Shiro and Kuron are just...the same person now. simply put, a fusion of two people in the most perfect sense of the word.

even so, i seriously love the idea of them sharing headspace and being total dorks.

so if s7 doesn’t really mention anything directly about “Kuron”, i won’t exactly be upset. Shiro is Shiro, Kuron is Kuron, they’re one and the same now, happily existing together. Shiro has Kuron’s memories, he knows they aren’t his, but they are, too. they’re Kuron’s memories, but they’re the same person now, so they can just...heal slowly, together.

and i guess Kuron really did get to be a paladin, if you look at it like that.

11 notes · View notes

aroworlds · 6 years

Text

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Shell

Our next aro-spec creator is Shell, already known to the aro-spec community as @arosnowflake and the author of the awesome short story Seducing Trouble!

Shell is an autistic, ADHD, non-binary aro-ace person who writes short stories, original fiction, fanfiction and essays. You can find eir fanworks on AO3 under the username spitecentral, writing for the Voltron: Legendary Defender, Fullmetal Alchemist, DC Universe, Batman and Batgirl fandoms, and we’ll hope ey posts more pieces from eir original Coffeeshop Project!

With us Shell talks about how ey writes romance as an aro-ace, depicting relationships in fiction, the impact of amatonormativity on creativity and eir alienation from current aro-spec community conversations. Eir words bound with enthusiasm on authentic creativity and the growth of the aro-spec community, so please let’s give em all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I never thought I was anything other than straight, although I did start noticing that I was different from other people when I was as young as twelve (for example, I remember being asked to pick the handsomest guy in a boy band, but to me, they all looked the same). However, I simply put this down to my autism, and since I was already desensitized to differences with peers, I pretty much ignored it. That is, until I repeatedly saw the word ‘asexual’ used online, and I began to wonder what it was, so I googled it. After reading the first paragraph on the Wikipedia page, I basically slammed my computer shut and did my very best to convince myself that no, I was overreacting, and also straight; after all, I was already autistic and ADHD, so any more diversity would be implausible.

Past me was so naive.

Anyway, I came to terms with being asexual at sixteen, and openly started identifying with it without adding ‘I think’ when I was seventeen. When I learned about the SAM, I initially dismissed the idea of being aro because I had a couple of crushes when I was a kid. However, after learning more about aromanticism and after some conversations with aromantic people, I decided to adopt the label since it really fit me. I mean, I was like nine when I had those crushes, and I don’t feel like they counted. I’m fairly sure now that I was just having them because it seemed like the Thing To Do, and, even then, all of my fantasies involved a more platonic ‘best friends forever but with shared pets’ lifestyle than a romantic thing. So while I may or may not have had crushes before, I don’t think I ever will again, and I don’t want to either, so I’ve adopted the aromantic label. I know it sounds weird, but oh well!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I don’t remember exactly why or when I began to write. I know it happened when I was around twelve, but that’s kind of it? It’s not really a spectacular story. As for how I began to create the things I do now, that’s slightly more interesting. Really, everything centers around one thing: spite. No one writes autistic characters, and no one writes stories with no romantic plotlines, so I guess I’ll have to do it myself! That’s my literal thought process behind my writing at any given moment, honestly. Even when I’m not writing about autism or other marginalized identities, I write obscure and sometimes absurdist fantasy with magic types or settings that I haven’t seen used before, because I find writing that fascinating, or because I’m annoyed that no one else has used that particular idea. I’m fairly sure that was the reason I began writing originally, too: I had stories I wanted to read, and no one was writing them, so I guess I’ll have to do it.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Well, first and foremost, I never focus on romantic relationships. Even when they appear in the story, they are not the focus. I’m so sick and tired of reading romantic plotlines, and I am not planning on ever contributing to that trend, thank you very much. So platonic relationships, worldbuilding or character development are often central to the story, instead of romance.

Second, I have this habit of interpreting tropes differently than allos because of my aromanticism. Name soulmates, for example. I know they aren’t a very popular trope in the aro community, but I love them. However, I have a different definition of them than most: I’ve always interpreted a ‘soulmate’ as someone who changes your life (for better or for worse), not your ‘other half’ or whatever nonsense we’re on today. I didn’t even realize that wasn’t a widespread thing until I heard aros complain about soulmate tropes! Stuff like that happens on a fairly regular basis, so I think my aromanticism definitely affects how I write certain settings/tropes, too.

Third, if I do write romance, I feel like I do it in a different way than allo creators. First, I suck at it. Badly. I used to try and write it in the same way that I always heard about it, bold and dramatic and mushy, and my mom (my loyal proofreader when I was a kid), always looked at me awkwardly and was like, ‘No, that’s not how it’s done.’ Since I don’t experience it, I honest to god don’t get why people insist that it’s the best or most important feeling in the world. The way characters in fiction always put their friendships or anything else on hold when that person walks by just … baffles me. I can’t write romance that way. I just can’t.

Instead, I tend to write romance in a much quieter way. If two of my characters are in an established relationship (and it’s always established because I still can’t write ‘coming together’ stories for the life of me), they are casual and comfortable with each other. In any relationship I write, platonic or romantic, I find open communication and trust to be very important. I kind of give all my relationships that same base, and then I add little flavours that I think are unique to that type of relationship. For romance, this is soft love and PDA. PDA is usually quick kisses on the cheek, holding hands, etc. The love is the type of thing where they fondly smile whenever the other does anything, really. I think that more subtle way of writing romance works decently, although I have gotten a lot of people telling me that I often also write friendships as romance, which is weird because I don’t think I do? I add a louder sort of love to friends, generally, and when they do have a quiet moment, it’s usually more serious rather than fond, and I think that’s different. But maybe I do write friendships as romance but I haven’t noticed it? Or maybe it’s amatonormativity making people read it like that?

I don’t know. I have no clue what I’m doing. Save me.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

I can only talk about what I face as a fanfic writer, as I don’t really post my original works because I lack the platform for them. (I sometimes post stuff when there are events going on over on larger blogs than lil’ old me, but that doesn’t happen consistently enough to really be talked about.)

As a fanfic writer, well. I’m sure you’ve all heard it before: no one reads gen fic. Although I tend to have a pretty high kudos-to-hits ratio, that means nothing if you get less than 100 hits. In my case especially, as I tend to write for niche audiences, usually picking unpopular characters or friendships to write for, or writing specifically about autistic experiences. Not having the added hook of romance really hurts me in my exposure. Almost always when a story becomes kind of popular (as in it has 40+ kudos), it’s because it’s been recommended by someone with a bigger platform than me, or when I write about popular characters.

(There’s other reasons my stories don’t get popular, of course, like not knowing how to self-advertise and the fact that I have the charisma of a rock, but that’s not what this section is about.)

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

Not at all, honestly? I said before I talked to some aromantic people, but that was mostly by anon asks, and the few I did actually message, well, I remade my blog so now I don’t have any contact. On top of that, the aro community (to my knowledge) doesn’t really have a central tag? Like, the autistic community has the #actuallyautistic tag, but I think the closest we have is #safeforaro, which (to my understanding) is more a reaction to discourse than anything else.

Aside from that, the aro community is really small, and mostly focused on making younger aros accept their identity. While that’s great, as someone who already has accepted their identity, it distances me a bit. And the few blogs that don’t focus on this, while absolutely lovely, are always so … sad? A large part of the aro community is depressed and bitter, worrying about losing their friends, worrying about their future. While that’s absolutely valid, I’d already moved on from that when I was younger, when I accepted the fact that because I was autistic, I would have trouble connecting and staying connected to people. It’s disheartening, sure, but I’ve accepted it and moved past it, so seeing the aro community still hung up on it saddens me. I can’t really give advice because, well, their worries are legit and they just need to come to terms with it at their own pace, and I’m bad at comforting without advice, so I’m just kind of stuck listening to it. It drains me a lot, so I distance myself.

I feel like we, as a community, can do a lot to dismantle amatonormativity, but since we still haven’t figured out what it is exactly, and we’re still grieving over the way we’re impacted by it, we’re not getting anything done. I’m bad at connecting with communities when I don’t know how to contribute to them, so I don’t really interact with it. And outside of the internet, there seems to be no aro community at all (or at least I haven’t found it), so I feel very isolated.

Wow that got real dark real fast. Sorry for being such a downer, but I did feel like it needed to be said.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

…speaking of being a downer.

It’s well known that fandom isn’t a safe space for aro/ace people. It’s a very ship-centric place, to the point where it’s almost impossible to escape romance, and I hate it. I’m here because I like expanding on stories and characters and playing with established narratives, not because I want to see two people kiss. Because my wants and needs are different from most of the fandom, I tend to be isolated and unpopular, and while that’s mostly fine with me (it creates less drama), I really wish I had people to talk to.

As for being an original writer, I’ve already mentioned that I don’t post my work because I don’t have a platform. Now, granted, it’s rather difficult to create a platform as a writer, especially if you’re not that social and don’t know how to market yourself (hi), but I feel like being aro also helps to distance me. Romance is a rather large hook to any work of fiction in the publishing industry, to the point where some publishers will demand a romance subplot in your book. I write obscure things that I myself enjoy, and as a result, my stories aren’t very marketable. I doubt that I’ll ever get published, simply because I’m, well, weird.

I totally understand the publisher’s perspective of not wanting to pick up books or stories that simply won’t sell (and experience has told me that my stories will indeed never be popular), but it still saddens me. I could probably learn to write more popular stories, but I don’t want to do that, since writing for me really is about expressing myself (though I’m not judging anyone who writes popular stuff for money; we all need to eat).

So, to summarize, I’m not marketable or interesting either as a writer or as a fandom member to either communities, which isolates me, which sucks, but it also enables me to really stop giving a shit. Sounds weird, but once I figured out that I’m not gonna get published or be popular, I really felt free to do whatever I want. Because ultimately the only person that really likes my writing is me, I’ll make myself happy first and foremost. While this sounds kind of depressing, it’s actually motivated me to keep writing, and it stops me from getting too depressed or anxious when a story I post only gets a dozen or so kudos/notes, so I think that’s a positive thing. Because ultimately, to me, the most important thing about writing isn’t the community, it’s having fun and creating something new, and as long as I can do that, I’ll be happy.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

The obvious answer is read my stories and reblog/leave kudos/comment, which is also true for every other writer, but I feel like that’s ignoring the underlying reason romance-free stuff just doesn’t get popular. The reason my stuff is unpopular isn’t because of the aro community, but because of the alloro people being more numerous and not caring.

Instead, I’m going to say that I would be helped if the aro community started focusing more on what it means to be aro, expanding on the meaning of amatonormativity, and spreading the word to allo communities. Amatonormativity is something that hurts all of us, especially fellow LGBT+ members, and I think that once more people start to realize what it is and how it’s harmful, they would try to examine their own biases and help us dismantle it. That way, gen stories will get more popular in fandom spaces, and stories without a focus on romance will have more chance of thriving in the publishing industry. It’s not a foolproof plan, and maybe I’m just too optimistic about my fellow humans, but it’s worth a shot and better than doing nothing.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

I have several current projects! My ADHD always makes me bounce dozens of ideas around in my head and start even more works, but very few of them ever get finished. However! One story I’m fairly sure I’m getting finished is an original piece about a universe in which everyone needs to buy a heart on a necklace in order to feel love. It’s an old story that I’m reworking to contain less aromisia, since I was still rather ignorant when I wrote the first draft, but I think it has a lot of potential to examine love in its entirety, and I’m super excited about it!

The only thing I don’t like about it is the incredibly melodramatic writing style I’m using; unfortunately, my writing always seems to be needlessly dramatic and I cry every time I read it because I just hate it so much. Since this is a fairly serious piece, it’s even worse than usual. I’m toying with the idea of starting a humorous and light piece to offset it, probably about an aromantic witch and her familiar who con people into buying fake love potions.

And of course, my Coffeeshop Project is always ongoing!

The Coffeeshop Project is a project I started when I badly needed to de-stress. It’s been my go-to comfort project ever since, meaning that I try not to put pressure on myself over the quality of it, and that I don’t do any research specifically for the project (although I often incorporate research that I did for other things).

The Coffeeshop Project is a series of stand-alone short stories in the same universe centred around the shenanigans of the crew of Café Nowhere, a café with a supernatural clientele. (I’m afraid I have a soft spot for supernatural shops.)

The story I wrote for the aro prompt on this blog was actually part of it! It was set a couple of years prior to the current ‘canon’, and introduces Ethan, who is now 22 and is infamous for taking down an intergalactic smuggling ring. There are more crew members, but listing them would take forever, so if anyone is interested, feel free to just ask!

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

I have several ideas about forthcoming works that may or may not get written, including the above, a role reversal AU for Fullmetal Alchemist (for which I have to research a lot about blindness, and since I hate research but don’t want to compromise on an accurate betrayal of disability, that might never get finished – I’m sorry y’all, but I’m doing this for free and only have so many spoons), an in-progress work for Batman about magic that I just cannot seem to pace correctly, a fic with a respectful portrayal of an autistic Black Manta as a passive-aggressive middle finger to DC comics, an analysis of FMA and/or Harry Potter from an aromantic perspective, etc. But with my ADHD and my gazillion ideas it’s always a 50/50 chance that something actually gets finished, so I don’t like to promise anything.

25 notes · View notes

eisforeidolon · 7 years

Text

Episode: First Blood

I did actually enjoy the episode. I just hated that pretty much every plot development required turning your brain off, starting from last week where they got caught for no good reason in the first place. If the writers had put half as much effort into making the setup make sense as they did in executing it, this episode would have been brilliant. As it was, it was enjoyable in the particulars but blatantly flawed.

In the recap at the beginning, they list the two of them dying in a shootout with police, but having their records, somehow they don't make particular note of Sam and Dean supposedly dying in that helicopter explosion in Colorado or Dean's body being found after Saint Louis? Well, of course they don't, because then maybe they'd be a little more freakin' suspicious about these guys being pros at faking their deaths! Including leaving convincing bodies behind!

I also simply don't believe that sitting in a cell for a couple months is worse than the decades either Winchester spent in hell. Maybe if they were having flashbacks or something, I could see it being such an untenable situation they had to get out right now rather than giving their allies time to find them. As it stands? Nah. Not even as hyperbole, it just plain Does. Not. Make. ANY. Sense. Also, if they're gonna give in and pray for help, why go to Billie first over Castiel? I cannot remember if Cas has been able to find them without them giving some kind of reference to activity near them since the rib scribbles to hide their location from angels, but regardless? Even if that were still in play as a blockage, the first plan should have been to ask for the interrogator guys' names and have Cas track them down with his supposedly restored mojo. Just that simple, and no deals involving death required. I mean even if you're going by either one being worried about the other, even if you're going to buy isolation somehow never being tried in hell at all? This is the absolute last resort step, not the thing you try first after barely six weeks! I’m not saying it was fun or enjoyable or even not awful, but seriously, worse than decades in hell? Seriously? Give them some other reason they needed to get out right away that’d actually make a vague stab at being believable.

Yet the episode did have some great dialogue. The agent guy turning the conversation about not actually knowing back around on the other. Mary and Cas both trying to blame each other for not being there for Sam and Dean because they're frustrated and upset and then eventually apologizing to each other and working together. Crowley both already having talked to his contacts, and being absolutely 100% sure the Winchesters will find their way out just fine without him doing anything - as well as not being willing to do anything because they're more frenemies than straight up allies. Dean telling the agents they have no clue what they're up against and being proved emphatically right. Sam's quip about how they're the guys that save the world. Cas' speech about how the world needs all the Winchesters it can get and how dumb they are to keep making these self-sacrificing deals.

Although I have a bit of a caveat about the last one, as considering Cas was the one to let Lucifer have his body last season, it seems a wee bit questionable for him to be talking about other people's dumbass sacrificial choices. Coupled with his story about trying to do a hunt and failing by giving up, it seems to tie into that arc about his personal self worth issues. Which, well, it was ridiculous the show invented that but never really went anywhere with it, then seemed to handwave it all off via that idiotic conversation in the car with Dean last season. So maybe it's good it's back - then again, I have little faith in it actually being executed in any better way going forward, so maybe not. I mean, he talks about learning from the Winchesters, but makes one effort at a single hunt and then just gives up? Won’t even consider trying again with backup? Well of course that failed if his powers weren't able to solve it for him, Sam and Dean don't solve every case with their first effort either. And less flatteringly, it leaves less question why he and Mary managed to do fuckall to save the Winchesters until they saved themselves if that’s all the effort he has to spare for his convictions. If he’d just agreed to go back with Mary it would have made a whole hell of a lot more sense, because Cas shouldn’t have amazing powers of investigation from nowhere, but just giving up?

There were a lot of great story moments, though. Mary and Cas being shown lonely and alone in the darkened bunker in turn. The montages of the Winchesters in their cells, really bringing the monotony and despair of their situation home. Mr. Ketch showing why they haven't been having any luck with American hunters. All the secret detention center people being so perplexed that Sam and Dean suddenly dropped dead the same day for no reason. Everything about the action of the hunt through the woods for the Winchesters and their obvious trap that the soldiers fell right into. Especially that, because there's nothing I love more in this show than it allowing the guys to actually be as supremely competent as they have trained to be and are. All the family reunion hugs. Mary being willing to sacrifice herself for her sons, and Castiel refusing to let her.

Despite the flimsiness of the premise, there were also some decent carryovers from previous episodes and ones obviously planted towards going forward. Billie's earlier suggestion they should just contact her any time if they're willing to reconsider dying has a clear purpose now. The BMOL having entirely different standards about who should be killed being a running theme that's going to eventually have to come in direct conflict with the Winchester's feelings on the subject (although how they expect an entire facility of government agents getting killed off will not going to cause just as many issues I do not understand). Mary being so impressed after Castiel contacts the BMOL with their resources and sucked in by their spiel about getting rid of all the monsters (am I the only one that felt weird Serenity echoes in that speech Mr. Ketch gave?), which will obviously have repercussions moving forward.

Still want to know why, after all this time, now is the time the BMOL really want to make good with American hunters, but glad we're finally progressing that storyline instead of more angel stuff. Although, of course, the episode does raise the question of if there will be consequences for killing Billie, so angel stuff is hardly likely to go away. Also, alas Billie, I was hoping she’d have a longer or grander role, but c’est Supernatural.

#spn spoilers #spn season 12 #spn 12x09

4 notes · View notes

writtenbyhappynerds · 4 years

Text

FF102: Unit 6, Formatting and Text [part 2]

Welcome back to another week of Fanfiction 102! In Fanfiction 101, we talked about formatting and text. We brought up grammar, how to format paragraphs, and how to tag and use verbs to describe speaking and movement. These are common mistakes that we felt were important to point out. Now in the second part of Formatting and Text, we’ll discuss POVs, ways of writing characters, scene structure, and as we teased last week [Y/N] [L/N].

POV tags to me are understandable. I used to do them too, and they’re something that people grow out of with time and experience. You will find that so long as you make your character’s voices distinct and recognizable, the reader will be able to pick up via context clues who is speaking. We know that Annabeth Chase has a very different inner monologue compared to Percy Jackson, and we the readers are able to pick up on those context clues of who is speaking without needing a tagged POV. A technical note: if you are going to change the POV of the story it’s best to save it for a new chapter entirely. You want your reader to stay immersed at the moment, and what is happening right there in that very instant. By changing the POV you’re asking them to pull out of that immersion and enter another. This isn’t always a seamless switch. Rick Riordan handled seven protagonists, and he did so by giving each chapter a header with whose POV we were viewing. There’s nothing wrong with that, but notice that he never switches it up on us mid-chapter. He lets that character finish their thought, and then moves on to the next. An additional note: Do not start your story with *POV (Insert OC’s name here)*. We can assume that the story is going to start with the main character’s perspective. We don’t need you to tell us that.

I personally used to shoehorn a POV change in the middle of the scene because I wasn’t sure how the scene would end and I thought using a different character’s perspective would carry me through the moment. It doesn’t, I just made myself believe that it did. There are many reasons that specific scenes can succeed or fail, and sometimes the worst writer’s block will come because you can’t figure out how a scene is supposed to go. Or, the scene finishes, and now the story is so open-ended you don’t know what to do next. We’ll talk about endings later, for now, let’s focus on why scenes fail.

If you are struggling with scenes, it may be because they are aimless or pointless. Your writing should be exciting to you; you are the first audience member. You’re the first critic. If you find your own scenes boring and pointless, the audience will find them boring and pointless too. A simple way to get around this problem is to sit back and ask yourself what the goal of the scene is. What is the endgame of this moment? If you can figure out what needs to happen by the end of a specific moment or interaction, you can work your way back and get there. Or, if all else fails, go back to your characters and use them to generate a purpose or tension. In any moment of any book, you can go to it and answer the question: What does this character want? Your own characters should be able to answer that question too, and you can generate tension or motivation with this question:

Maybe one character wants information another is refusing to give. This back-and-forth can generate tension.

Maybe two characters are fighting to a goal that they don’t know doesn’t exist. This goal creates motivation.

Maybe one character is looking for individuality, and they believe their current actions will help them achieve that.

If you can’t figure out what should happen next or why something doesn’t feel right, go back to your characters and look at what they want. Look at the endgame of that moment, and go from there. I mentioned in the last unit I need to stare at my work until I hate it. I mean that. I sit at my computer and re-read my work until I can find what doesn’t feel right. Then I make the necessary adjustments. If that still doesn’t work, it might just be that the scene is unnecessary filler. If there’s no point in the scene and no purpose to the scene, cut it out.

Before you start your story, you should pick the point of view you want to write from and stick with it. You can of course change your mind, but if you change your mind halfway through, you have the responsibility to go back and adjust what you’ve already written to match. Which gets annoying. I’ve been there. Try out different points of view. Find what feels comfortable, and once you do stick with it. It’s also your responsibility to establish that point of view quickly in your story, and we’re going to review the three types of POVs in writing:

First off, we have first-person. First-person is one of the more limited POVs. It uses “I, my, me,” language, and stays with one character for the duration of the work. The reader only ever sees or experiences the story from the point of view of this character. Rick Riordan’s The Lightning Thief was first-person, and we knew it from the first line: “Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood.” First-person lets you hear the inner monologue of a character. You can know what the character is thinking, they can have an inner commentary that is very nice, and the reader can live vicariously through this one person.

Next, we have second-person. This is where I’m going to @ a community. If you write [Y/N] [L/N] content, one it is so exhausting to type that and I don’t know how you do it, and two, WRITE IN SECOND PERSON. Second person uses “You, your, yours, etc.” It was literally made for self-insert fic, yet self-insert fic writers don’t use it. On top of that the additional tags that have been created over time, including [e/c], [h/c], [h/l], and [f/c]. That is exhausting. I am exhausted just typing it out. You can word a narrative around using those words, and you rip the reader straight out of the immersion in a genre that is meant to be the most immersive! Self-inserts should be written in second person, but they are usually just first-person or third-person stories starring an OC that has no name. It would be better for you, and you would suck the reader in more if you just picked a name and an OC. On top of that, these self-insert fanfictions sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time describing the reader when that is not necessary in the slightest. In the Great Gatsby, Daisy’s appearance was never described. We never know exactly what she looks like, but Fitzgerald uses the joy on her face, the curl of her lip, things that every girl has, and makes them appear beautiful to those who want her and to the audience. You do not need to describe the reader for the audience to believe that they are beautiful. You need to describe the reactions of others. I will give you an example: the following is a scene with the same premise. Steve Rogers is about to pick you up to go dancing. The first paragraph is in second person, the second paragraph is in [Y/N] [L/N].

*******

It took a week before he said yes, and you weren’t going to waste it. You reached back, contorting your arms so you could wiggle the zipper of your dress up unaided. From behind you a gentle hand overtook yours and closed the gap.

“What do you think?” You said, turning and letting the skirt float. He smiled down at you, his hands coming up to brush back your hair.

“Beautiful,” Steve said, his lips curled and his teeth flashed and he pulled your face to his. You had to stand on tiptoes to kiss him and when you did his lips were stained red with your lipstick. “Are you sure about this?” You pulled away, grabbing the last part of your outfit.

“I’m a good dancer. I promise! You haven’t seen anything yet.” He took your necklace, and you turned to let him put it on you.

“I’ve seen you in our kitchen at 2 am.” With a roll of your eyes, you swatted him. “I’m just saying!”

“I’m just saying you haven’t seen anything yet. Prepare to have your mind blown. Your socks obliterated. They won’t even be knocked off; they're going to turn to ash. That's how good I am.” He laughed, looking at your reflection in the mirror. His hands found their home around your waist and he pulled you to him. You loved it when he did that. You felt safe. Protected.

“I… what if I can’t match you?” With a frown, you turned to face him. “I, I haven’t been dancing ever. And I just, I want to make sure it’s perfect and I don’t want to step on your toes and-” with a smile, you make your way over to the record player. Your fingers trail over the vinyl, picking one of your favorites. When you turn back to face him, there’s sweet music playing.

“Come here.” He joins you in the center of your bedroom. “It’s been a while since I’ve had to lead, but you put your hands here, and here, and then you always start with your left…” The world was golden. Bright and syrupy and blissful. You never made it out of the house, but you and Steve did go dancing that night. Just the two of you.

****

*****

“What do you think?” You said, turning and letting the [f/c] skirt float. He smiled down at you, his hands coming up to brush back your [h/c] hair.

“Beautiful,” Steve said, his lips curled and his teeth flashed and he pulled your face to his. You had to stand on tiptoes to kiss him and when you did his lips were stained red with your lipstick. “[Y/N], are you sure about this?” You pulled away, grabbing the last part of your outfit.

“I’m a good dancer. I promise! You haven’t seen anything yet.” He took your necklace, and you turned to let him put it on you.

“I’ve seen you in our kitchen at 2 am.” With a roll of your [e/c] eyes, you swatted him. “I��m just saying!”

“I… what if I can’t match you?” With a frown, you turned to face him. “[Y/N]. I haven’t been dancing ever. And I just, I want to make sure it’s perfect and I don’t want to step on your toes and-” with a smile, you make your way over to the record player. Your fingers trail over the vinyl, picking one of your favorites. When you turn back to face him, there’s sweet music playing.

****

One is more immersive than the other. One has a more professional approach than the other. Writing in second person is uncommon but not invaluable, and if you can wean yourself off of [Y/N] [L/N] you will master an invaluable skill that will make you stand out as a writer versus relying on what has succeeded for others in the past. If all else fails and you can’t figure it out, just pick a name. Any name. Readers often project themselves onto the main character- that’s how you get characters with basic or generic descriptions: brown hair, brown eyes, etc. they’re trying to fill a demographic. Twilight did this, as did the Hunger Games, Divergent, and Beautiful Creatures. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s totally okay to just pick a name.

The final POV in writing is third person. This is where you have a narrator talking over the story and describing events. A third-person limited narrator only sticks to one character’s thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Harry Potter is written in a third-person limited POV. We only see what Harry is thinking at any given point, and we follow him through the story in third person. Third-person omniscient is a narrator that can describe the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of every character in the story. That isn’t just being able to tell the reader exactly what a person is thinking, it’s describing their feelings and reactions. It is making a statement or inference about a character in a way the main character typically wouldn’t. They are subjective narrators that let the readers draw conclusions based on their descriptions. In my opinion, a third-person omniscient story is the most difficult POV to write because it becomes more difficult to let your readers figure out things for themselves. Part of writing is letting your audience draw conclusions and make inferences on their own, and what other characters are thinking or the methods behind their actions are a big part of that. It can work, and Beartown employs an omniscient narrator, but I have found that most fanfiction follows a third-person limited or first-person POV.

In Fanfiction 101 we talked about the tropes that bore us. The ones that need to get left behind. The Editor got to talk about how much she hates twins. I recently found out that she hates clones too. However, not all tropes are terrible. Next week we’ll be talking about, “that gud emotional shit.” as it is written in my notes, and why some tropes work well and why they get used again and again.

1 note · View note

claudeleonca · 5 years

Text

How to Write a Bio Like a Superhero (Easy 3-Part Process)

Writing a bio is hard.

You have to knock ’em dead with two or three dazzling sentences that show you’re a likable, credible, and accomplished expert.

When readers read your bio, they must believe you’re the answer to their prayers — a superhero who will swoop in and solve the big problem keeping them awake at night.

No pressure, right?

Here’s the good news:

Learning how to write a bio that dazzles readers doesn’t require feats of strength or the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

No, all you have to do is keep reading. Because in this post, I’m going to show you a simple three-step process for writing a bio readers will adore. But first, we’ll look at a few short bio examples that make readers run for the exits.

Let’s dive in.

The 6 Common Bio Blunders That Make You Look Like an Amateur (And What to Do Instead)

#1: Making It All About You

I’m Jill — a free-spirit with a passion for quilting, bird watching, Tai Chi, and calligraphy.”

Thanks for sharing, Jill. But do I really care? Nah.

So, it’s not about you, Jill. It’s about them.

What to Do Instead:

In this post on sensory words, using almost the same number of words as Jill, Kevin gives us just enough information about himself to tell us what he does and how he helps his audience.

As the Editor in Chief at Smart Blogger, Kevin J. Duncan helps readers learn the ropes of blogging, hone their writing skills, and find their unique voice so they can stand out from the crowd.

Here’s another tip: It’s usually best to write in the third person, as Kevin does in the above bio example. It’s more professional.

#2: Writing a Condensed Resume, or a Laundry List of Accomplishments

Your bio is not a dumping ground for your career path and qualifications. It’s a tiny elevator pitch that’s selling you as a credible solver of your reader’s problems.

So don’t list every degree you have or talk about your first job out of school. Readers don’t really care. They only care whether or not you have the solutions they are looking for.

What to Do Instead:

Your bio should only include details about yourself that directly relate to your audience’s problem.

Think about your career, education, and skills, and then carefully select the most pertinent facts that are going to impress the audience you are writing for. Like this:

Everything she mentions is designed to appeal to the audience she’s trying to reach.

#3: Sharing Irrelevant Details or Stuff You Think Your Audience Should Care About

This sample bio is from someone whose expertise is content and affiliate marketing, although he hides it well.

Much like your degrees and career path, your audience doesn’t care about your hobbies, passions, and personal philosophies either, unless they directly impact the problem they’re trying to solve.

What to Do Instead:

As mentioned earlier, only share the details that your audience will find relevant.

#4: Trying to Cram Too Much In

Okay, so you’ve managed to include only relevant details about yourself, so you’re safe. Right?

Not if you included too many of them.

Like this one from Jo. She’s had an impressive career, but her bio feels endless:

This is way too much information.

What to Do Instead:

With some careful pruning, the real gems hidden away in Jo’s bio can be given center stage:

Go through your bio word by word and ask yourself, “Does this bit of information make any difference to my audience?”

If the answer is no, take it out, and limit your bio to two or three sentences.

#5: Being Overly Formal (a.k.a. Boring)

If you’re anything like me, you had to read this bio more than once to get a sense of what Joe does. It’s way too formal. Most people will just glaze over this.

What to Do Instead:

Instead of using stilted words and phrases like “maximize their online real estate” and “engender business growth” Joe missed a great opportunity to make himself stand out from the crowd by creating a point of interest.

Perhaps he could have started with something like:

“Joe Jones is an expert marketer who can take your medical practice from queasy to fighting fit…”

Do you see how that might grab a few more eyeballs, cut through the noise, and make an impact with his target audience of doctors?

#6. Being Vague (or Overly Woo-Woo)

Hands up, whoever doesn’t have a clue what this person is talking about. What does she do? How does she help solve my problem? Why should I be interested in her?

What to Do Instead:

You don’t have time to beat around the bush in your bio. Get straight to the point. Like this:

In two sentences, Cecile tells me everything I need to know about what she does and how she can help me. No fluff, no messing about, and a juicy opt-in bribe to seal the deal.

The 3-Step Process to Writing a Click-Worthy Author Bio

Easy. Just follow this simple three-step process to write a bio that your ideal readers can’t resist clicking.

Step #1: Introduce Yourself with a Bang

Let’s start with this example from a blogger in the personal development niche.

Sue Smith is a self-help writer and coach with a degree in psychology…

This tells me what Sue does, but it’s rather dull and same-y in a sea full of personal development blogs. There’s nothing here to set her apart or pique our interest.

Let’s give it a twist:

Self-help writer, Sue Smith, is part social scientist, part agony aunt, who…

I’m curious to know more, and it certainly makes her distinctive.

But there’s another angle Sue could take:

Sue Smith is a certified psychologist who specializes in beating social anxiety.

She has a specialty, which gives her ideas on the topic more weight than others. If you suffer from social anxiety, you’d want to listen to the expert on it, right?

Compare also:

Sue Smith’s books on beating social anxiety have won her international acclaim. She has been featured as an expert on Psychology Today, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and Good Morning America.

We’ve talked before about not delivering a laundry list of accomplishments, but if you have specific accomplishments that make you stand out, those are worth including.

Here’s an excellent bio example that both offers a point of interest and adds credibility:

It’s an excellent bio that will absolutely pique her audience’s interest.

Step #2: Call Out Your Audience and Say How You Help Them

Remember, this isn’t about you, it’s about what you can do for your audience. So you need to define who they are and what problem of theirs (their key fear or desire) you can solve.

You should aim for both a logical and emotional connection. It’s tough, but do-able.

Let’s take Kim, a blogger in the parenting niche:

Note: Of course, Kim’s bio would be even further improved if she linked to an incentive rather than her homepage. More on that in the next step!

Here’s another example:

Jessica clarifies immediately who she helps (busy people) and how she helps them (by re-energizing them through food, yoga, and wellness strategies).

You must be absolutely clear about this. If readers can’t identify themselves in your bio and see you have the solution they’re looking for, they will move on.

Step 3: Offer an Irresistible Reason to Click

You’ve told your audience who you are, what you do, and how you can help them. You’ve impressed them with your credentials and sparked their curiosity.

They’re ready to move to second base, but they need that last push. An irresistible reason to click through to your site and sign up. You need to offer an incentive.

Take a look at this bio:

Boom! In 46 carefully curated words, Henneke tells us who she is, what she does, how she can help, and then gives us a gold-plated reason for parting with our email address.

Unfortunately, we can’t all steal Henneke’s bio, but we can use it as a fine example of how to write our own.

Ready to Write Your Best Bio Ever?

Writing a bio like a superhero is simple, but it’s not easy, so give your bio the time it requires. You should brainstorm several options for each of the steps.

Bios are hard to craft, but they are also one of the most effective pieces of marketing you can create when you get it right.

You now know how to write a bio your audience will love. They’ll want to know more and they won’t be able to resist your free offer.

They’ll see you as a credible, personable problem-solver. Their problem-solver.

And they’ll click through to your site, ready and willing to hand over their email address to their new blogging superhero.

You.

About the Author: Mel Wicks is a seasoned copywriter and marketing strategist who helps bloggers and entrepreneurs put the “OMG! Where do I sign up?” into everything they write. Download her exclusive Fill-in-the-Gaps Cheat Sheet for an Instant Click-Worthy Author Bio.

Note: For a handy visual reminder of the six bio blunders you can download or share on your own website, check out the image below:

Embed This Infographic On Your Site:

<!—– Copy and Paste This Code Into Your Post —-><a href=”https://smartblogger.com/how-to-write-a-bio/”><img src=”https://smartblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/6-common-blunders-v3.png” alt=”The 6 Common Bio Blunders That Make You Look Like an Amateur (And What to Do Instead)” width=”700 px” class=”noa3lazy”/></a> <a href=”https://smartblogger.com/how-to-write-a-bio/”>The 6 Common Bio Blunders That Make You Look Like an Amateur (And What to Do Instead) from SmartBlogger.com</a>

The post How to Write a Bio Like a Superhero (Easy 3-Part Process) appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/how-to-write-a-bio/

0 notes