Top Ten Posts of 2023

I decided, why not? ^^

I'm limiting this to fics/analysis/headcanon/etc posts I made during the year and skipping over anything that isn't my actual creative work. That said, if you're curious, my actual top post was this funky screenshot from episode 2.

10. Everyone's just fine with Donnie modding the moon buggy? (362 notes)

It occurred to me that despite being MASSIVE nerds for the Jupiter Jim franchise, the bros seemed awfully chill with Donnie taking an actual on-set moon buggy and modding the hell out of it.

A few people argued with me in the notes that the Turtle Tank is so cool no one could possibly be mad about it and I do think that's fair. The Turtle Tank is easily my favorite thing Donnie made in the show.

9. Splinter and Leo talk post movie (443 notes)

And then his dad walks in and says, “I would like to talk to Blue, please. Alone.” And suddenly Leo doesn’t feel so good anymore.

This is the most recent tumblr fic I've done (I think lol), so seeing it make it this high felt pretty good. I love Splinter and his boys... they make me emotional.

8. A headcanon about the Disaster Twins (445 notes)

I have a headcanon that the twins are lowkey always trying to get each other to laugh.

This is still true.

7. A showcase of Donnie's injuries in End Game (462 notes)

So everyone talks about Donnie getting his shell shredded by the Shredder in Many Unhappy Returns but I feel like it’s underappreciated that that happened to him coming off of getting his ass beat in End Game like

One of the first posts I made when I made this blog haha. Poor Donnie |'D

6. Donnie records everything (617 notes)

broke: Donnie listening to what happened in the prison dimension woke: Donnie showing Raph Leo’s big damn hero speech since he wasn’t there the first time

The main reason why this has so many notes is because @roseverdict wrote a great fic down in the notes that you should all go read.

5. Leo asks Donnie a favor (829 notes)

“You might as well tell me what you need,” he says, turning to his computer and pulling up his list. “I’ll assess it and prioritize.” “No, no, that’s okay. It’s nothing,” Leo insists. “Nardo.” Donnie levels his best stare at him. “What is it?”

I love writing the Disaster Twins being soft and you guys love it when I write it too.

4. Present Donnie and Future Donnie have a little disagreement (CAS AU fic) (1,242 notes)

“What was I supposed to do, tie him to a chair?” “Yes!?” says Mini-him like he’s stupid, which warrants a scoff.

Shoutout to @skcirthinq who doodled a comic version of their conversation.

3. Casey Jr. and Uncle Tello troll Present Donnie (CAS AU fic) (1,701 notes)

Casey Jr, says Uncle Tello’s voice. Uncle Tello? Do you want to see something really funny?

This is my actual fic with the most notes! I'm glad you all enjoyed this silly little take on what was actually an incredibly intense moment in Cass's original comic.

2. Mikey contacts the Hamato ancestors (2,054 notes)

future Mikey: *trying to contact the spirits of the Hamato for advice and guidance in the apocalypse* Donnie’s spirit: Hello, you are now communing with Donatello.

I can't believe you guys gave over 2K notes to the stupidest joke I've ever made. Shoutout to @nonymous06 for this artist's rendition.

and finally, drum roll please.....

My top post of 2023:

1. A very silly idea for a separated AU (4,283 notes)

non-angsty ROTTMNT separated AU where the boys meet online and bond over their shared love of Jupiter Jim and skateboarding and Lou Jitsu. Then one day they agree to meet irl for the first time at a con and decide to dress as turtle aliens.

This post spawned an adorable fanart by @thatsmutbean , this hilarious fanart by @onionninjasstuff , and an entire fanfic called new phone who dis by @rbtlvr

This has been an incredible year! My love for ROTTMNT has not diminished in the slightest and I still have lots of ideas, so I hope you guys stick with me for 2024. Thanks again! Happy New Year!!

can you tell us about when you fell in love with fawful? :)

Yep. In fact, I'll write a whole mini essay for you so I can add it to the FAQ section of my website coming up shortly LMAO (SINCE I NEED TO FULLY ANSWER THIS QUESTION FOR THERE ANYWAY, RIGHT???) CLICK UNDER THE READ MORE TO SEE IT BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST THING I'VE EVER POSTED HERE, LMAO.

To preface, I have been a fan of the M&L games going back to the early-mid 2000s when I was a kid. I had no involvement with fandom or anything of the sort back then but I used to hop on my mom's bulky computer and look up fanart and other related content as early as 2004/5 and as a result, ended up captivated by the characters long before I knew who they actually were. (As a result of this, I have the names and art styles of various old M&L fandom creators permanently ingrained in my head and often wonder where they are today since a good deal of them vanished..!) It wasn't until 2006 that I got my first handheld console (DS Lite) and of course, what did I do? Immediately begged my mom to order me a used GBA copy of Superstar Saga. 

When I finally had the game in my hands it was like coming home to a colorful world that I'd been captivated by for so long but never gotten the chance to actually explore until now. The characters felt like old friends and the Beanbean Kingdom as a location felt familiar and comforting to me. (As a side note, Popple quickly became my favorite. Shocker, right?)

I used to sketch various beans in my notebooks as well as on printer paper we had lying around the house. Long story short, I finished Superstar Saga and then a few years later in 2010 I picked up Bowser’s Inside Story and THAT’S WHEN THINGS SHIFTED–

BIS brought Fawful and his personality to life in a way that captivated my imagination like nothing else had prior. He quickly overtook Popple as my favorite character from then on forward… and that’s where it ends! Or.. is it?

Nah, that’s where it gets funky. Life got a little chaotic after that and not only did I stop playing video games altogether for many years, but I also almost completely gave up on art - the one thing I was most passionate about above all and thought I would make a career out of someday. A series of depressing events caused me to lose all hope and motivation for anything I created and the spark I’d kept inside of me for so long all but died out as a result.

We’re going to timeskip again, this time to late 2019. I’d just moved away from home permanently for the first time and had been getting settled in and no matter what I did to make my new apartment a cozy place it always felt like something was missing. My mind would keep wandering to the fact that I never made art anymore despite it having been such a key part of my life when I was younger. I so desperately wanted to change this and over the next few months the frustration only kept growing until on January 1st, 2020, I sat down in the living room with a pencil and paper in my hand and shut my eyes tightly before saying under my breath:

“I do not care what it is, I don’t care how it comes. Just please… PLEASE send me something to bring my art back. Anything… anything at all. I don’t care what I draw, I just want to be drawing again.” And with that, I placed the lead onto the paper and began to sketch…

And from there… a familiar face appeared!

(Now I could ramble to you about how much I do NOT like this drawing and how off model it is from how Fawful actually looks… but I’ll forgive myself since I hadn’t touched the M&L games in over a decade at this point and had forgotten most of Fawful’s character. And yet?? Here he was.)

How else can I explain it except that in that moment it felt like the pencil in my hand had suddenly become one of these:

A joy that I hadn’t felt in SO long suddenly filled my entire being and without wasting another second, I immediately went online and ordered both Superstar Saga and Bowser’s Inside Story to replay again. In the time waiting for the games to arrive I had started drawing daily again - sketching out various old characters of mine with dozens of doodles of the bean man stacked in between them all.

There he was… always smiling, always happy to see me, and oftentimes with his arms outstretched as if to give an encouraging hug. When the games arrived I worked through them quicker than I ever had prior - finishing up Superstar Saga in less than a week and subsequently moving onto Bowser’s Inside Story with a LOT of excitement built up for it. 

It was my first day playing and I was having the time of my life! The way Fawful looked in his little grey cloak with that enormous, charming grin of his as he bamboozled Bowser into eating the Vaccuum Shroom had me giggling with joy while words repeated in my brain over and over of: “I need to draw this later, I NEED to draw this later!!!” I WAS EXCITED ABOUT ART AGAIN… AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. I was practically hopping in my seat from the happiness I felt in my heart and chest every time Fawful appeared at this point!

This was how it felt until the moment I arrived at the Fawful Theatre and watched as he began dancing on the stage floor. THIS time.. something different came over me. If you’ve felt it before, then you’ll know what I mean when I say that it was like my entire body turned warm all at once, like some sort of flame had been lit inside. I’d never felt it for anything or anyone prior to then, and that's partly why it hit me as hard as it did. I was practically sweating.

Heck, I was so absorbed in my feelings that I had forgotten there was anyone else in the room with me! That is.. Until my roommate at the time spoke up: 

Her: Are you alright? Me: Uhhh… yeah, why? Her: You’re red as a beet. Are you sure you’re okay?

By this time I had realized what was really going on so I reassured her I was fine, grabbed my 3DS, and ran to my room to finish the playthrough on my own so I wouldn’t embarrass myself any further, hahaha.

In the days, weeks, and months following that moment I became dedicated to drawing the best art of Fawful I could possibly create! What started as a challenge to myself to ‘give back’ to the person who’d given me back the ability to create again turned into someone I genuinely could not stop drawing for how much fun I was having doing it. The desire to make better and better art in order to honor him drove me to improve at a speed I never had prior, and soon thereafter I created Jolligig as a way for me to be in this colorful world with him and to express the deepening affection I was feeling for him with every day that passed by.

By some miracle, my prayer had been answered and here it was in the form of a grinning lima bean.

[End of Part 1. Interested in the rest? Yes… there’s more, I’m sorry. Please let me know in the comments. This took a while to write so I thought splitting it up would be best if folks are interested, LOL.]

Sleepover With The Octavinelle Boys !

. . . Content Desc ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)ﾉ

THIS FANART LEFT MY BRAIN NUMB WITH THE AMOUNT OF IDEAS I GOT OH MY GATO, sooo~ I decided to work on this small little post as I have something that I'm currently working on <3 . . . LOADING . . . °:⋆ having a sleepover at octavinelle dorm with azul, jade, & floyd ! . ु this is a . . . same as the last fic, just a funky old vibe!! *˚⁺‧͙ TW + info : no trigger warnings ;; this time ill be taking quite a different style to writing, since i usually write oneshot's this is my first time trying out bulleted notes!! so.. sorry if things get a little too descriptive at times, writing shorter fics isn't my strong suit but, i hope you enjoy ~ WORD COUNT : 845

You were just leaving one of your classes just as you always do when Azul walked up to you from behind and tapped your shoulder

"Good afternoon Yuu! Mind if I pull you aside for something?" At first you'd be quite concerned, as close as you are with Azul quite a chaotic situation could ensue if he feels he'd need to tell you whatever he had to say in private. But reluctantly you follow

To your shock though, Azul doesn't have some crazy monumental thing to tell you, rather, he asks if you would like to spend the night over in Octavinelle?! You are pleasantly shocked by this request, but without hesitating you accept, excited to see what the night will bring.

"Splendid! I'm just as excited as you are. We'll have everything prepared for you, I bet Jade and Floyd will be quite excited hearing this news. If you'd like I could send someone over to get you if you aren't very pleased with leaving out in the evening".

You kindly reject his offer, assuring him that you could probably make it there on your own. Now that the plans were set, you both part ways and the day continues as usual. Before you even realize, all of your classes for the day have ended and it has reached the time for you to begin getting ready. Hurriedly you fill your backpack and begin the trip. Proceeding through the hall of mirrors, you end up in the same "underwater oasis" (as you'd like to call it) that you oh so fondly know of.

Reaching the dorms, you walk inside with little of a second passing before a few eyes turn to you. First some of the other octavinelle students, then your good friends Azul, Jade, and Floyd. After being welcomed in you are shown a free spare room to use and well.. this is where the fun will begin.

There would be stacks of different board games to try, probably gotten from the board game club. All of them were lined up along the table, some of which were being played already by the other students.

Whether it's Monopoly, Uno, Trouble, you name it, either Azul would sit there for an abnormally funny amount of time to think of a single simple move to play just to end up losing or being brought farther from winning with Jade's antics (and strangely good luck with these games?) Floyd would completely go off track from the basic rules of the game and try to play with "his own set of rules" just to end up in a playful argument on how that's not how it works. In the end he still got his way though and would even end up winning.

Accompanied with the board games were a few fun consoles to try. You had all signed your death wishes choosing to play Mario Party... the true ruiner of bonds, and the only catalyst for more yelling and "I HATE YOU." being yelled out for the night. It was so hectic, even some of the other students chose to join in at times, which would only make it even funner.

At some point Floyd almost threw the whole damn controller over the game, much to you and others humor. Others including Jade and anybody else awake at that time were watching from the sidelines, eating snacks and joking around about the war crimes being plotted over literal Mario Kart.

Everyone couldn't help but break out into a huge laugh at the end of every game, talking about the things that happened. You're enjoying yourself to no end. Once it seemed though that the large amount of excitement playing the games was calming down. Everyone sat around eating snacks and talking about whatever, which almost became soothing for some. Time passed, and just as it did midnight came and went by about an hour or two. Almost everyone had decided to get up and head to bed, It was just you Azul and the twins once again.

You talk about how much fun you've had that night, and how you'd absolutely love to do this again. "Well of course you have to come again Yuu, I still need to rematch you in Wii Sports~! You won too many times!" Floyd would say with a grin on his face satisfied with the amount of activities done for the night. You could sure as hell tell though that rematch in question was going to be a real doozy.

You've all just about reached the limits of how low your energy could go, "It seems to be getting quite late, shall we go to sleep everyone? It looks like you all are struggling quite a bit to even keep your eyes open!" Jade would tease as he gets up expecting you all to probably say "oh my god yes im exhausted.", which you all do. Returning to where you would all be sleeping, your fun filled night came to an end surely to be continued by more in the future.

Apologies for the looooong questions.

3,4, 31, and 68.

Hope you have a good day!

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fi

sit down

turn on computer

open outline document (if a one-shot fic skip to point 5)

look over current chapter section

open writing doc

stare at the blank document

weep

smash fingers on keyboard

don't look at the words

once done do not look at it (this is hard and sometimes I break it)

come back later and use read aloud to help me edit it by listening for anything funky

send chapter to friends to read

gnaw my keyboard

post chapter after approval

stare at notifications/email for internet readers approval for serotonin/dopamine hit

repeat process until I feel normal

Also random tip that helps me write the actual chapter is; writing sprints, there's a discord bot that really helps with this or you can set a timer. And also listening to an audiobook while I write I find helps inspire me to write better and just to write more. I think it's like urge to write a fic after reading a really good fic but instead, I'm listening to Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White and all the body horror/gore in that while I tiptap some fluff. I also have a youtube list of free audiobooks, and I'll post them if you guys want.

putting the rest under a readmore so this post doesn't get too long <3

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Literally anywhere.

Anywhere.

It strikes when it strikes (unfortunately)

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Most of the time, Plot. Plot is usually a big motivator to get me to write fic.

I find that good plots are sort of versatile. Like I could very easily take a similar plot of SI and put it towards Ghost. Baker!Reader gets employed at the ministry. Papa and her start getting close, and closed-off man eventually opens up to sweet lady.

Also while I'll know the Love interest for who I'm writing, cause I mainly write x Reader fic, the Reader is something I don't really consider. I try to be careful not to describe red cheeks, or hair texture in fics for example (though I have done it still), though sometimes it does slip through, cause I want you to imagine an idealized version of yourself. It's like a meme now that like when Y/N says this we go "I'd never say that" but maybe you would in Runeterra. Cringe is dead, make your idealized self in a self-insert or in Reader fics, because that's self-love baby. You are deserving of love and you should always recognize that.

I was always really happy in SI when it got fanart to see all the different versions of reader, with darker skin, or blonde hair before I finalized my own version with @designfailure56 in Ros, though anyone can draw SI Reader however they want. I still really prefer the blank slate approach where I have no idea how they look like, all I know is how they sort of feel and think.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Slide into friends DMs, or look for prompt lists on tumblr. Sometimes I just need to start writing a little request fic or going over headcanons with friends before I can go on to write the larger fic. It helps me get into the zone for it.

Get to Know Your Fic Writer Asks

[THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION HAS BEEN DECLASSIFIED.]

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

🂡 Ace 🂱 23 🃁 ⚧They/Them, He/Him⚧🃑

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Please read before you follow!

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

I mainly post about:

Spy vs Spy

Spy x Spy

My Spy-persona, or Spysona as you will

Character Tags: Black spy, White Spy, Grey Spy

Fanart, headcanons, and ramblings about these silly little blorbos abound.

General Content Warning: Cartoon violence and antics, usually slapstick but may also feature blood and angst. Mild cartoonish gore may appear rarely, but nothing too graphic or realistic. All public accounts are SFW, but will occasionally be suggestive to a small extent.

If you need me to tag anything with specific content warnings, please send me an ask to let me know and I will list what to filter here!

I will occasionally post about things which are off-topic, as my accounts are semi-personal. Resources regarding current events and issues are sometimes reblogged as well.

▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭

⌧ Basic DNI criteria applies. Racism, sexism, misogyny, antisemitism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. are not welcome. Bigots, nazi/genocide apologists, pro-forced-birth/anti-abortion, pedo/zoo/necro, proship/anti-antis, and the like will be blocked. I'd prefer if NSFW-heavy accounts do not interact with my SFW accounts. If you fetishize marginalized peoples or are into rape, incest, and/or ageplay, do not interact with me. I block very generously.

If you're here to defend someone I've aired my grievences about in the past, go away. Some actions of theirs are inexcuseable and I want nothing to do with them. Please leave me alone about either circumstance.

I will not list my own specific personal triggers here due to the chance of that knowledge falling into the wrong hands.

I have every right to protect my internet safety, privacy, and mental health. This is non-negotiable. ⌧

▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭

FAQ:

May I share your SvS fanart?

Absolutely! I cannot control what you do, but I'd appreciate being credited if you happen to share. I would prefer you to ask first, but won't have a problem unless you do something egregious with it or if I am uncomfortable with where it is being shared.

Is there anywhere I can purchase something with any of your fanart printed on?

Unfortunately, no. Not only might that cause legal issues, but it wouldn't feel right for me personally to do so. Full answer can be read here.

Do you take commission?

Not under these accounts, sorry. If you have any ideas you'd like to send my way, please do so! However, I cannot guarantee I will respond to every ask.

Why did you make the spies gay and trans?

Because I'm gay, trans, and can do what I want. In all seriousness though, I've made a couple of posts about these headcanons at the very start of my blog, but I could've gone a lot more in-depth.

Why haven't you been active for [insert amount of time here]?

I tend to take breaks from social media due to stress and other mental health issues. I'm also autistic and have a chronic health condition, so there's always a chance I might not have the spoons to be active on here, make fanart, or immediately respond to direct messages. Other than that, I do have a personal and professional life completely separate from my SvS fan accounts.

Is there anywhere else I can find you?

Other than this blog, you can find me on twitter. (Or my private Twitter, but I must warn that it is exclusively 18+.)

As mentioned before, I keep this completely separate from the rest of my life and work, so I will not disclose any of that information. Please don't ask if I'm [insert artist's online handle here] or ask any artist if they're Ace Dueling-Jesters. If any user claims to be me (other than, obviously me on my blog, public twitter, or private twitter), do not trust them. If something ever happens to all of my known accounts, my boyfriend will confirm any new, genuine accounts of mine.

What's up with those funky red glasses?

They're therapeutic lenses! I draw them slightly different from how mine are irl to protect my privacy.

What is your gender/sexual orientation?

I'm bigender, or more specifically, a transmasculine nonbinary person. Please refrain from asking which body parts I do or don't have. I'm gay and Trans4Trans, but also somewhere on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. It's complicated. I'm in a closed, committed, and very loving relationship.

Why are your posts so long-winded?

It's the autism, babey! *finger guns*

Why the Dream SMP’s way of storytelling is IMPOSSIBLE to recreate in any other medium.

This has been in the back of my mind for the longest time. I think I finally got it.

People have talked about this before, and they’ve put forward some good points, and good for them – most of them are correct. It’s the way the ccs interact with each other, it’s how plot is mixed in with banter, that’s all good! I wanna put more out there.

So you know how you open a book to read, you start a new show, you sit down to watch a movie – that’s all produced by some sort of company, someone who made it specifically for you to enjoy. You expect a certain dramatic flair to it, certain cinematic choices, certain ways of writing, certain camera angles, certain reactions to things. That’s just ingrained expectations of things now.

The DSMP? Doesn’t have that.

The low expectations work very much in its favor. It’s a Minecraft role-playing server with a bunch of famous youtubers/streamers, who are all good friends and have great dynamics with each other. So when you expect “just another Minecraft video” but in stream form, or you watch the videos because there are certain people in them, you don’t expect to be dropped into extreme lore and sensitive topics, realistic situations proposed in game form, a combination of serious stuff and just fun times with friends goofing around – and you’re pleasantly surprised.

We, the fandom, are used to it a bit more now. How excellently they manage to make a serious story in such a “ridiculous” medium, how much it affects us all and gets our creative juices flowing. But even the ccs can’t predict some of the things that happen. And that’s fun.

The whole election ending the way it has? That was on us. And it made some of the most angsty content there has been in the DSMP. People still theorize about the arc and make connections to now – that’s pog!

Fundy being adopted by Eret – that sparked the whole “Fundy just wants a dad – let’s get him some love” thing that made FundyWasTaken and other Fundy+someone ships happen. I see a different person paired with Fundy every week, and somehow, I agree with all of them. I really got into Fundy because of that stream where Eret “slept through the adoption” and Fundy confronted his real dad and spent time with his granddad. That little stream gave us more insight into Fundy’s whole character (Nevermind Fundy showing off his acting skills – you go you funky little fox), but also justifies some of his actions now. DryWaters? Wanting to kill Technoblade? Fucked up reasons, but we still love him.

Phil being broken out of house arrest ahead of time – still made a great stream and Phil agreeing with Techno’s want for revenge – that made us all very happy. The SBI!!! The AE! And that’s also a thing!

That even if we do know or have predicted what’s going to happen, begged it out of the ccs basically, it is still incredibly fun to watch. Where some books/shows/movies fall short and reveal too much and end up being “too predictable”, they’re not fun anymore. I read this somewhere before, that sometimes holding back EVERYTHING from the reader, and relying on shock value to make a good story is just bad. Whereas if you progress the story naturally and let the reader make some predictions of their own and then they end up being right – that’s a lot of serotonin right there. It’s the re-readability that makes it slightly better the second time.

The DSMP takes this concept and fucking yeets with it. Letting fans engage in the story, letting them theorize and then be right, even acknowledging the fanart that was made, just engaging with the community that their roleplay created – that makes it so much more fun. I bet that even if the whole script was revealed to the fandom we would still watch every plot stream. Even if we knew vaguely what happens in the stream, we would tune in and enjoy every second of it. Because the ccs are just that good, we love them that much, we love this plot that much.

Oh and the unpredictability helps too. Tommy in exile was the vague concept of a lot of the streams – it’s taken that and ran with it in a lot of different directions. All quite enjoyable.

Having said all of that… The fact that this type of telling a story is impossible to recreate in any other medium is… kinda saddening? It is incredibly unique, and I’d say has things that not a lot of the people that produce mainstream media would even consider. “Just friends hanging out” – how would that make the script progress? “Engagement with the fandom, even considering their wishes for the characters” – but we’re telling a story here!

The only thing I can think of that would come close to the vibe, would be just a bunch of writer friends coming together, thinking up a universe and general plot, and then each deciding to write a few of their own characters in that universe. When one author focuses on their main characters, the side ones can feel left in the dust, or not fleshed out. The DSMP is just “every character can write their own story”, which takes a lot of the strain from the “main writers”. But the general thing of “just friends hanging out” would be taken away from it. We’re being serious here, why would we change the tone so quick?

With all of that in mind… I kinda wanna make some predictions? And I don’t know if they’re correct, but it’s fun to theorize. See?

1. L’manburg will die.

And not just because Techno has 54 withers. The country is cursed – it definitely is. There is little sentimental value that can be felt for a few flimsy stilts built on top of a crater. It might go out in a blaze of glory, with the withers (Is history repeating itself an interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?), but it might just be forgotten. Yeah there have been some angsty headcanons about how “no one cares about L’manburg anymore, save for two people” and it just gets abandoned, but how about it just becoming irrelevant?

This all comes back to Dream, it always does! His want, need for the server to be “one happy family again”, it just means one thing. He wants the server to return to the peaceful anarchy that it was before L’manburg. No rulers, no factions, no nothing.

That’s never going to happen.

Try as he might, Dream cannot affect that change that L’manburg did to the server. The introduction of a faction, one that can exist without the interference of a higher power – why do you think so many factions have sprouted up since? And it’s not even serious factions a lot of the time, it’s just a few friends deciding to build their bases on a plot of land that they claim is a nation now. L’manburg has changed the mindset of these people, now an alliance with somebody is a political move. An alliance doesn’t exist if it doesn’t have a faction, and that faction can remain neutral for only so long.

Basically, L’manburg introduced the factions mod into the server.

And the fact that every faction now has enough relevance to hold weight in a war also means that every nation on the server is doomed to follow the downfall of L’manburg. Eventually, they will get into a fight they can’t win, go up against the wrong people, anger someone they shouldn’t have. All factions will either be destroyed, or lose relevance, until their creators, residents and such just… move on.

(And really you can go into meta and talk about real governments and compare them, but it’s far more simple than that. The server isn’t built for peace, it isn’t meant to be a relaxing place where you can just vibe, it may have been made for a few friends to play Minecraft together, but it has turned into An Author’s Curse. The curse that follows any kind of story being told – the fact that peace is boring. People watched the first streams of the DSMP because they liked the ccs, and that’s valid. But how many more people tuned in to watch the war streams because there was PLOT and there was CHAOS and there WASN’T CALM PEACE ANYMORE – that’s the curse of every writer. That you can write about someone just living their life drama-free, you can make interesting peace with characters or circumstances, but it’s always leading to one inevitable conclusion – war, drama, because people read that. And at this point, it’s just a predictable outcome. No matter how much you say that you are retired, that you’re done with violence (Technoblade), something will happen that will prove to you that you believed in people too much. No matter how “neutral” you may be in the matter, no matter how much you claim that you have no allegiance (Philza), you will be forced to pick one, because out of all the bad things, you pick the least worst one, the most appealing to you, the one that can benefit your want of revenge.

And I can go on, but this is far too deep for one simple reason – The Author’s Curse is so prevalent here because THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO STAKES. It’s a video game – you die? You respawn. Something gets destroyed? You can just rebuild. Sure, you’ll want to kill the person who did wrong to you, but whatever they did wrong can just be replaced, remade, recreated. So why not have wars? Why not cause massive amounts of destruction “for the plot”?

It’s literally a playground. How all authors have their little playground with their characters that they meticulously plan out, the DSMP is that playground for all of these people.

And it’s fun! Sure! I like it! I’m just really skeptical whenever someone in character says that they “just want peace”, “are retired”, “swear off violence”, “are building just a little city for themselves”. Because you can do that, nothing wrong. But eventually, no matter how much you distance yourself from all of the chaos happening, all of the wars, you will return.

Because it is just much more fun.

It’s the curse. A cursed cycle.

And everyone is in it.)

2. The prison.

I don’t have anything on the prison because I don’t have anything on the book. Yeah I’ve done a whole post where I overanalyze what it could be, but it doesn’t make it any clearer. Whatever it is, it’s made out to be a huge plot point, something that can only be revealed when the prison is finished.

Cursed. The prison’s reason for being constructed is the book, but the book is only relevant when the prison is finished. We can only wait, and theorize, as we do.

(My only theory is that the book is information about another op on the server. Or at least something related to op or creative mode. Dream only fears one thing on this server, and that’s Technoblade, so if his one fear is the most skilled player on the server, what else could give him existential fear?)

3. The SBI.

Again, I don’t have anything! Yeah the reunion seems to be going smoothly, one member at a time, but there is already conflict in their beliefs among each other. And all that’s happened is a vague “maybe one day we’ll strike”.

Is history repeating itself an interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?

Is L’manburg’s destruction AGAIN really necessary to hammer home the idea that no one likes that place anymore?

I don’t know. Whatever happens, no one’s in the right. No one’s in the wrong either. They’re all not good people and that’s that on that.

4. The Clingy Duo.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

That’s all.

(Okay seriously? All of these arcs are connected. You know what happens when everything seems to be connected to one another?

A giant, dramatic final showdown between the two opposing sides.

Cause it’s just Chaos vs L’manburg. Those are the sides. People that want L’manburg to exist and people that want it gone. There are no other sides, there isn’t someone who’s like “Well maybe it can exist if we do this and this” cause no one wants to put in anymore effort into this cursed country. The only people were the clingy duo and now they’re separated and everyone is just leaving and Tommy is on the Chaos side like at this point he doesn’t care about L’manburg he just cares about Tubbo but he has to convince Tubbo to leave L’manburg but will Tubbo be convinced but will Tommy even consider leaving L’manburg and breaking free from its curse AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Goddamit.)

5. The Egg?

Dunno shit about it. Like the prison – it seems important, but we’re just not being given enough information. Is it a coincidence that the moment Dream commissioned the prison the Egg popped up? Or are the two directly related?

I don’t know. But as long as someone is finding ways to fight the Egg, that’s fantastic. Bad juju indeed.

6. Oh the Butcher Army want to kill Dream!

Hah.

Okay I’ve seen people make the case that the Army is just a bunch of people with trauma repeating the cycle of ab*se that they went through and yes.

Just yes.

And the fact that no one is actually looking at it that way and no one is there to like.. help them or even help them understand that what they are doing is just irrational, even though their reason for doing it and the result they hope to achieve is YES and the only thing that a lot of the people of the server who want peace should try to go for as well, they cannot stand up to Dream on their own. They just can’t, they will get punted into exile. They need allies, and they need powerful ones, people that have also been wronged by Dream and want him gone.

But the cycle continues, and no one knows where it ends.

(Okay but from a writing perspective? Getting rid of Dream is the end goal. It is the be all end all of all conflict, well… most of it, at least most that’s related to the supposed “good side”, or “the side that’s been most victimized”. But from the same perspective, that side is just… no longer. It has proven that is just as bad, if not worse than the final boss. I have to agree that Techno has to pay for his crimes, even though I like him a lot, but Techno did in fact cause insane damage. Yeah L’manburg rebuilt, yeah Wilbur probably caused more – still he isn’t completely free.

But that’s a discussion on morality more than laws.

L’manburg is doomed to die. Dream is doomed to be fought, and probably won against (simply because he has won far too many times already, you know how everyone seems to hate OP characters…). But the Butcher Army is doomed to fail against Dream. So how does that work?

Welp.

Is history repeating itself and interesting enough plot point to recycle a whole arc?

The answer is no.

I’ve repeated that question three times now, and the answer to it is no. No it is not. L’manburg can be destroyed again, and it can be rebuilt again, but the sentimentality that people feel for it will not remain. The cycle of history ends somewhere, and it’s not too far a fetch that it ends here.

So what happens when Technoblade, Philza and Tommy roll up to L’manburg with withers and a destruction wish, only to be met with a bunch of traumatized children with axes and a death wish?

Well, I’ll spare the details, but from a purely writing standpoint…

The two sides team up.

Think about it – The Butcher Army doesn’t care about Technoblade anymore. They’ve seen that Dream is the one pulling the strings, they know that even if they do care about trying to eliminate Technoblade again, they have to get rid of his strongest ally – Dream. But through their anger, they’ve lost their fear. You should fear Dream, he’s a fuckin op. Techno is correct in not wanting to go against him.

But after Tommy? After seeing the Butcher Army at their lowest, screeching about Dream being the villain?

Will Techno finally go past his thinking of “government is evil, always government is source of problem” and realize that Dream has the most evil government in mind for his rule?

I’m still kinda sad that Techno isn’t making the conclusions he should about Dream. But he’s starting to – and really, the SBI-Butcher Army team up is the most logical thing that could happen.

Watch me be completely wrong or miss something and I’ve got ALL of it wrong. I would love that.)

(Also it’s very funny to me that Dream is literally simping for Techno while he’s just here like “Listen bud I would stab you on sight if you didn’t have creative mode”. Dream KNOWS that Techno can and will kill him given the opportunity. Techno knows that that opportunity may never arise.

It’s a weird type of stalemate, to be sure. But goddamn is it interesting.)

Anyway... if you read through all of this... I could bake you a cookie? Thank you! I like to ramble.

I posted 157 times in 2021

85 posts created (54%)

72 posts reblogged (46%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 239 tags in 2021

#tma - 52 posts

#the magnus archives - 39 posts

#the magnus pod - 38 posts

#the magnus archive fanart - 30 posts

#jonathan sims - 27 posts

#martin blackwood - 14 posts

#tma jon - 14 posts

#jonmartin - 10 posts

#elias bouchard - 8 posts

#tma martin - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 101 characters

#like in a sense that someone is always watching you and you gotta do some funky shits to please them?

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Some dumbass stuff I did

Original post is here please check it out

345 notes • Posted 2021-12-02 09:18:02 GMT

#4

Peter shopping for his bf's new vessel

There is something very funny calling them "boyfriends" instead of "husbands"

D'know why it's hilarious as hell to me

400 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 04:59:02 GMT

#3

I wanted to draw "unhinged" Jon...for some reason (*cough* ep 142 *cough*) so I did

He's just hungry let him have some people to torture

421 notes • Posted 2021-11-06 17:54:49 GMT

#2

Jon clothing/hairstyle reference (chronological order) for myself

Tried to give him some cute outfit for s4 since-to my knowledge-Basira choosed it and I do believe in Basira

467 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 02:01:05 GMT

#1

Wanted to practice both Martin and "semi-chibi" style so here you are

I tried giving S5 Martin some beard as a joke and...let's say I unironically loved it so now he has that sorta-mullet and some facial hair

TMA S5...feels like an apocalypse rom-com and I'm enjoying it

506 notes • Posted 2021-11-11 07:59:39 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

Been in tumblr for less than 3 months but it was fun nonetheless

I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊

Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3

Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂

Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.

Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓

Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.

So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)

(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)

I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)

Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)

So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr

aswhoa there big ol spirit phone post whoaaaaa. (I WAS ORIGINALLY DOING ALL OF THE ALBUMS BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG SO I’LL DO INDIVIDUAL POSTS FOR THE ALBUMS) (NOT INCLUDING MASHUPS SORRY :[)

alright lets go sorry if theres spelling mistakes i am tired and my keyboard hates me ;[ spirit phone - ok so VERY COOL the first half i feel is supernatural and the second half is more like.... a comment on capitalism?? yeah,, idk either thats what most people say lol. thanks neil!! lifetime achievement award (ebiccc). very long (ab 6 minutes) BUT the length is worth it!! the lyrics are jammin not to mention the instrumental!! the singing is very chefs kiss let alone the effects on the singing!! very cool song. touch tone telephone!! (ttt) so ttt is VERY jammin but its a little overrated. I GET WHY, but it is definitely not the best song made by lemon demon. well i guess thats mostly up to interpretation, but its not the best. the message is cool!!! conspiracy theorist going fucking batshit crazy?? hell yeah!!  cabinet man (😳) how the fuc did this man get in cabinet???? hfgbrfj.. ANYWAYS the beep boop instrumental is one of THE BEST on the album next to the very epic instrumental of as your father i expressly forbid it. anyways, the lyrics and beat are v nice v satisfying!! i love singing this song like, only third to as your father and soft fuzzy man!! singing is hard :[ no eyed girl (where are her eyes???) neil is a monster/alien fucker and you cannot change my mind. no eyed girl is one of my favorite songs!! i mean all of the lemon demon songs are one of my favorite songs but... um,, ANYWAYS. imagine being some guy who just like, made the world get destroyed bc you were horny over an alien. when he died (holy fuck what is up with this dude) the amount of mysteries that are brought up in thius song is AMAZING. when i listen to lemon demon on alexa the only albums i have access to are nature tapes and spirit phone (because i use spotify and not apple music) and i hear this all the time!! its ALWAYS a good time very bangin very jammin 20/10 sweet bod (aha 😳 what do you mean im eating a dead body) neil?? are you sure it isnt sexual??? super synthy and cool!! the funk never ends!!! funky town!! never go down!! (im sorry) the idea of drinking dead bodies to cure cancer though not very cash money. wowie zowie capitalism!! the lyrics make me uncomfortable if im listening to it with someone else BUT if im alone i will  scream sing this song eighth wonder!! (goofy mongoose ends humanity) i heard like in the commentary that neil was proud of this song and honestly, i dont blame him. VERY jammin. i keep saying jammin but i dont have synonyms. i havent read that news article about gef but i should sometime!! the way the song just is is just mwah  ancient aliens!! (caveman go aaaaa) i dont have much to say about this one because it isnt my favorite. NOT because it doesnt jam hard but its just not as good as other ones. man i am mostly just praising neil. this is fun to sing!! instrumental is VERY cool bery epic,,, soft fuzzy man (hhhottie 😳) this is my FAVORITEEEEE i can say SO much about this song on how it JAMS. the little beep boop after the first part is GREAT I LOVE IT. the chorus lives rent free in my brain. singing this is the best source of serotonin !!! ahhh the lyrics and the message!! very cool!! i love that neil made this song as a comment on dudes who think being mysterious is cool (yucfky ew) one lyric taken out of context makes me feel weird but like idk i just link it with something not great (once you go hazy you’ll understand i’m your soft fuzzy man sounds like he roofied someone) BUT i can ignore that because that wasnt the intention of the lyric!! very ebic songgg. as your father i expressly forbid it!! (neils my dad???) whoa,, neil scrEAM,,,, honestly i cant stop thinking of neil’s daughter while listening to this (sorry) but umm THE INSTRUMENTAL IS THE B EST!! the little beeop boop>?>?? YES i love it sorry about like not being able to get ideas across my brain is old computer stalling noise rn i earn my life (he damn earned it) this is my moms favorite!! (yeah she likes it too surprisingly!!) this song is really nice,, verry cool little instrumental bits!! awesome!! singing it is a 10/10 experience!!! reaganomics!! (baby, baby. YEAHHHHHH)  whoa!!! ronald reagan?? and he wants to take you for a ride?? anyways, whoa!! instrumental!! i can tell that neil puts a lot of effort into his songs because ALL of the main tracks are bangers.  man-made object (shit i caught insomnia from looking at the moon😔) SO big ol giant tower towering over everything!!! i kinda have a bad experience with this song because when i drew fanart for it my friend misconstrued the tie i drew with... a sexual organ. (hes fucked up) does NOT mean the song is bad but i get reminded of that whenever i listen to it. very COOL SONG!! YES!! build that giant skyscraper girl you go spiral of ants (im im caught in the spiral of ants girl) whoa last song... ON THE MAIN TRACK AHAHA!! just kidding i cant do the bonus tracks. ANYWAYS whoa!! a tornado of ants? count me in! the lyrics are very epic!! and fun to sing except for the AND WE BECAME A HURRICANE because its a high note and i suck at high notes 😔i did it once but i cant anymore 😔😔this sounds very nice i love it!!  if you read this all the way,, fucking,,,, thANKS because this is hella long im sorry i hope you liked my opinions bye!! <3 i’ll be doing more album stuff in the future (possibly even tonight because i have nothing to do with my life.

Tag at least 5 people you love and give a few words on why!

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Since there was so much BS in the fandom today, time to share some love! :)

- @zeta-jane is an absolute godsend of a friend. They are sassy, funny, talkative, energetic and so full of amazing ideas!!! Zeta is always there for me when I need someone to lean on. They’re such a kind friend and they will not hesitate, baitch to fight people who hurt me- probably because they know I’d do the same for them! They’re such good company both online and IRL, and I am blessed to have met them! I am even more blessed to be writing City of Dust and Shadows with them, which has become the longest fic either of us has ever written! We may or may not surpass it with our future collabs, however ;) They are just the coolest person ever and they deserve all the love in the world. I adore them so much!!! TUT 

- @mikayu-chan is such a got damn SWEETHEART. They are trying to see the positive side of things, especially after so much fandom drama in the past, and I’m so so proud of them for trying their hardest to live their best life. They have it way too hard and I want to give them a big ole hug and many days of fun!!! They always make me laugh and we have a great time on calls! I’m glad that we see eye-to-eye on so many things and that we continue to teach each other new things all the time!! They are really an irreplaceable friend and such a joy to talk with, to write with, and to laugh with. I love you Chan

- @crazyloststar deserves the entire world and more!!!! oMg I cannot express how much I love Alex!!!!! Alex is just a big bundle of happiness and fun and she makes me so so so so so so so happy. I love calling with her and talking, I love writing with her and everything else!! We always have so much fun, I swear I can’t talk to her without laughing my ass off at least once XD we’re always DJDJDHDHDHDJD’ing at each other because we just can’t find the right words to express how hard we’re agreeing with each other/laughing omfg. I adore her and I cant WAIT to cosplay KimiYoi and RyuuTenn with her hopefully at next year’s Yaoi Con WOOT WOOT :D!!!!

- @yuudefensesquad is sUCH A GOOD BEAN who deals with SO MUCH and she just needs a big ole hug and lots of Yuuchan i stg. Caydence is such a funny funky lil nugget and I protecc her with my life okay. Her art? Flawless. Her shitposts? FUCKIN HILARIOUS. Her meta? Super engaging and intriguing! Her bravery? ABOVE US ALL LOL. She is just awesome and I’m glad I forcefully adopted her into my lil family of mikayuu nerds bc it just wouldn’t be the same without her. Caydence ily never stop being you. A lot of shit challenges her irl and everywhere else, but she still keeps her head up and man I really respect her.

- @mikaisatop is MY FRICKIN RIGHT HAND MAN. My SOULMATE. SARAHHH I ADORE YOU. You might be busy rn but I love you so much girl ;__; even though she’s busy I always bother her bc I want her to know I wouldn’t ever forget about her!! I’m so happy we got to collab so much and will continue doing so!! Winter’s Waltz is so much fun to write and I’m so happy she is writing it with me anyways despite such a busy schedule. If it weren’t for Sarah we wouldn’t have so much good MikaYuu content and I applaud her for it!!

- @6lilystrings9 IS JUST THE BOMB DOT FUCKIN COM. Lily and I didn’t super duper connect until more recently but omg talking with her is just a freakin BLAST. We always get so hype with each other, even over each other’s fandoms that we aren’t even in!!! Something about the energy in her pulls out the energy in me and we just get GOING lmao. She is so very talented and amazing and a fascinating person all around! I’m so glad we got to hang a bit at KatsuCon in 2017 but I hope we can do that again in the future! I miss her all the time!

- @weirdfairytales is the MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. Anna is just the biggest definition of a meme I can think of and I LOVE her for it. I’m so glad that we met way back when MikaYuuHell Skype existed and that she thought of the masterpiece that is Cherry Boy one wild night. I’m so glad we continued to be great friends and talk about so many things. I love when our messages get super long cause we just have so many things to say XD Cosplaying Victuuri with her at Katsu was so lit, and I can’t express how much I love her Victuuri fic too!!!

- @hannaadi88 is such. a. sweetheart. I can’t say it enough. Hanna does so much and gets so little I stfg yall need to APPRECIATE HER MORE. Her writing is STUNNING and the projects she makes for this fandom are just outstanding!!! From gift exchanges (I SAID ONS REMIX BEFORE IM SORRY i was wrong XD) to 365 Days of Mika and Yuu, she has put in so much for us constantly! She has also granted us with the lovely fic Scented, and not to mention one of my favorite fics of ALL TIME, Eye of Horus- the Ancient Egypt take on Unwritten!!! And she named it that without knowing my first tattoo is literally the eye of horus! XD I was shook lmfao and I still am. Meeting Hanna was amazing and the day I spent with her and @ihavetobenkyou (who is also a-freaking-MAZING and a big bundle of goodness!!!!!!) is one I’ll never forget. She’s so chill and just gives off this ‘wise’ aura idk why but I just look up to Hanna so much. No matter what she writes I will always support her and you all should too!!!

- @just-another-dream-about-yuu is ONE OF MY FAVORITE HUMANS TO EVER HUMAN. Julia omfg I cannot express how much I love you. TwT Julia is not only one of the most talented artists I have ever seen, but she is so sweet and fun and so full of energy and excitement!! She’s super busy with adulting so she’s not around in the fandom a whole lot but I always make sure to include her bc I won’t let her leave XD JULIA YOU CANNOT ESCAPE…. lmfao I will always drag you back… I won’t ever forget the day I got a twitter notification that someone drew me Unwritten fanart and the croaking sound I made was insane LMAO my friend who was with me was like WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED XD I was so excited!!! I still adore every piece of fanart she’s given me and I always will. Thank you, Julia, for bringing my imagination to life so many times, for showing me what you saw when you read my writing. It means more than I can say.

- @coleglend is the most underappreciated person in this fandom I swear. Or, who was in this fandom- Cole is off doing other things besides OnS, but regardless, she is so very amazing and beyond talented. I can’t even express how beautiful her art is and the emotions each piece sparks in me. Even her new Marvel artworks are just breathtaking and I truly admire them!!! I don’t know anyone who can make such detailed, visually engaging art- everything she creates belongs in a museum I swear. I want to print them and frame them for my walls!!! I look at her art all the time!!! Now that I’ve established how gorgeous her art is, talk about Cole as a person! She’s so sweet and kind and I love seeing her little posts on Instagram and such, even though I can’t understand most of them, I like seeing that she’s with friends and having a good time.

- @linnpuzzle is one of the coolest most amazing people in this fandom!!! Her art is STUNNING and as she knows, I will drop everything to commission her and buy her merch because I just am addicted to her gorgeous art!!! I am so honored to have some of her art as part of my collection of OnS things and I am forever going to treasure the commissions I’ve purchased from her!! Besides being a great artist, I love talking with Linn, too! I’m so glad we have things in common outside of MikaYuu, like Voltron and Kyo Kara Maoh :D Linn is truly too good for this world and she deserves everything okokok.

- @zilleniose-chu is truly an ICON of this fandom. We don’t talk alot outside of business stuff lolol but they are just freakin amazing!!! I adore their art so much- I always have, ever since I first saw their page!!- and I LOVE their AU’s and headcanons!! They are full of such great ideas and humor and they can share those ideas through really stunning and captivating artwork

- @absolute-exclusivity IS AN AMAZIN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING BEAN OH MY GOODNESS i cANT TELL YOU ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE LYSIA. AAAAAAAAHHHH THIS GIRL IS GONNA SPEND MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME OUT IN LONDON LESSGO GIRL!!! I’m so excited you have NO IDEA. Lysia is so so so energetic and cute and overall such an amazing friend!! She’s so caring and always willing to listen even when things are busy for her!! She’s full of hilarious, tragic, and heart-pounding ideas and AU’s. We always get lit together talking about fics and headcanons and I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. I can’t wait to meet her and I can’t wait to collab with her and Zeta soon, too!!

- @rindartist is absolutely one of my favorite artists of ALL TIME no doubt about it. Rin is so amazing, always making so many beautiful artworks of MikaYuu, and now of other lovely series aswelll! I may not be into GBF but her art of it is just lovely and I suggest everyone to commission Rin if they have the means!!

- @p0isonpez is someone I’ve only seen from afar but I absolutely love her art and posts!! I am so happy to see someone new in the fandom sharing such lovely things and interacting with the rest of us!! you seem so friendly and kind and I hope we can talk more sometime! :D

- @temesasu is such a sweetheart!! We’re just starting to talk a little more, but I am soso happy!! They are such an amazing cosplayer and their ONS cosplayers bring such a big smile to my face. They are beautiful and able to make themselves look like so many different characters!!! They are so talented with makeup, I am in awe!! :D And they are so kind and fun to talk to, and I hope we talk more! Thank you for sharing your cosplays with us, you are amazing! Don’t stop!

- @seraph-star is such a good precious person who makes endless good content!! Omg, their edits are just so awesome!! they always have me bouncing my head along, or completely enraptured and breathless, or laughing!! They are so good at evoking different emotions through video editing and as a very casual video editor myself, I am so impressed with their work!! I also love their memes and art and everything else that they share!!!

- @angeru-artist is a precious PRECIOUS ANGEL who deserves the entire world!!!! Omg, Angeru makes such amazing art, with such expressive characters and cute little attributes!!! I love it when I see their art and I’m so glad that we share a few fandoms together rather than just one. Angeru is really bighearted and she goes through way too much hard times, and I wish I could just take her away to somewhere better!!! One day my friend we will forget about the world and just have fun!!

- @maqui-chan iS ONE OF THE BEST ARTISTS I’VE EVER KNOWN OMFG. her art is iconic and unforgettable!!!! Maqui’s art has always been one of my favorites of all time and I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve commissioned her LOL!! I JUST LOVE HER ART SO MUCH OKAY!?? ITS SO GOOD GO LOOK AT ALL OF HER GLORIOUS CREATIONS! she is so talented and she can create anything, from angst to smut to humor, leave it to Maqui to create amazing things!! And omg Maqui ignited the fire in all of our ShuuNaru hearts amiright!??? GOD her art inspired me so much to the point to where I wrote a ShuuNaru fic and it was so much fun!!! Maqui, thank you for drawing so many awesome things and creating so much for the fandom!! Even if you’ve mostly fallen out of it, your creations are always going to be treasured by me and many other people- you’ve impacted people way more than you know! Thank you for always making me laugh on twitter aswell XD you’re amazing and ily!!! 

OK OK I;M OUT OF STEAM I’VE BEEN TYPING THIS FOREVER OK i could go ON AND ON about even MORE people in this fandom but that would take me literal ages LMAO

TO EVERYONE ELSE, WHO I DIDN’T MENTION BC MY BRAIN IS JUMBLED AND I AM EXHAUSTED: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. DONT STOP CREATING. THE FANDOM IS A FLAMING GARBAGE HEAP SOMETIMES LIKE IT WAS TODAY. But DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU from having a good time, doing what you love, and creating things that you are proud to share!!! And if your heart leads you elsewhere, to a different brand new fandom, I hope you always remember the people you inspired with your work!! I hope you forget the bad memories and always treasure the good ones. I hope that we can be friends and/or that I can continue supporting you no matter where we all end up in the years to come. And if you decide to support me too, I give you my biggest, most heartfelt thanks.

No matter how ridiculous this fandom can get and how much stupid discourse can dampen the mood and disappoint me, I will never let it stop me from loving MikaYuu and OnS and what I do. I will never let it stop me from writing all that my crazy little heart wants. I will continue to write until my passion dies, and when that day comes I will probably cry as I say goodbye and resort to watching from the sidelines as everyone else carries on. I will never forget the fun I had here. These past 3 years have been so impactful already, and I know the future ones will continue to be- with the old friends, with the new friends, and with friends to be made!!

Let’s spread love more often rather than hate. I encourage anyone who feels inclined to make posts (maybe not as long as mine if you dont want XDD) talking about your favorite creators and friends in the fandom, too! Or, if that seems too corny to you, just continue to draw, write, edit, and cosplay! Continue to make people laugh and smile and cry and swoon! Continue to support creators by leaving comments and kudos, by liking and reblogging, by following and commissioning, and sharing and crediting their work wherever you can! Continue to make a difference!

I love you all so much!

.Hack//GU - 35 Hours in Update

For some reason, steam thinks I am 35 hours into this game but the game save file thinks I’m 25 hours into the game. I didn’t realize the discrepancy until I made a bunch of posts so I’m just going to go with what steam says. 

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a GU update and thinking about it there’s a lot I haven’t discussed. That being said, nothing has happened plot-wise since my last post. This is a nothing game. Nothing happens. 

Notes:

-I’ve been checking the pixiv art for this game and HOO BOY it is steamy. Haseo is one of those versatile characters that you can ship with anyone and people do. I’ve seen him shipped with Atoli, Shino, Ovan, Matsu, Sakaki, Tsukasa, Kite, Tri-Edge etc. etc. and imo...all the ships kind of work? This isn’t really a good thing. They mostly work because Haseo doesn’t have much of a personality/character and that’s why you can just conjure up chemistry between him and anyone else from your imagination. It’s good for some hot fanart but bad from a critical standpoint. 

-I really like the lucky animals and the noises they make <3 

-Getting pretty sick of seeing the same 4 dungeons over and over again. At least it will be exciting when more servers become available?

-So the implication with the fight between Alkaid and Haseo is that Haseo is losing control right?? I want more context for how avatars work. Skeith was obviously a bad, evil thing in SIGN but now he’s just a weapon but also...maybe evil? I feel like Pi, Kuhn and Yata were just like “Yeah...this is just a thing that some of us have.” .Hack always takes 20 years to explain basic concepts so I guess I’ll just have to be patient.

-I think there was a threesome joke with Kuhn?? I don’t know why but I felt scandalized by that lol 

-I still find Sakaki kinda hot lol. Not sure what his evil scheme is yet, only that he has one. 

-I’m really anticipating seeing game!Tri-Edge at this point more than anything else. Mostly, I want to hear what he sounds like cuz according to all the fanart I’ve been looking at he makes noises in the games :0 Also, I just want to know what he is and see him interact with Haseo more. 

New Character Impressions:

-I forgot to talk about my impression of Gabi in the last post. I think he’s fun but find his lolrandom humor kind of annoying. I like that him being the leader of Kestrel is unexpected and makes Kestrel less than a straight-up antagonistic guild and more of a morally grey group. I feel like they’re more trolls than anything. Anyway, it’s nice to have more beast characters. 

-Antares has a funky design that’s hard to make out. I’m not really sure what they were going for with him...some kind of Tengu? He almost looks like an Okami character. I’m personally not a huge fan of the traditional, Japanese aesthetic so I’m a bit biased against him. Also, he’s basically just Jiraiya from Naruto. His character seems really random to me? Like, he’s supposed to be a mentor to Haseo but Haseo already has like 5 mentors (Ovan, Shino, Yata, Kuhn, Pi). Why is everyone so obsessed with this boy!? 

 -Sirius hasn’t done much yet but I really like him. He’s like this snobby elitist but he’s also really elegant and refined? According to the .Hack wikia he’s supposed to have the head of a jackal but I totally thought he was a gazelle or something?? wtf...

-I was super pumped for Alkaid based on her design and from what I read in the Alcor manga a long time ago. Whenever I play a game with dating aspects I pick out my partner before I start the game based on first impressions. This choice can change but I like to go in with an idea of who I’m aiming for. Alkaid looks super badass and I love her design (hair, outfit, face, weapon are all on point). I was very ready to ship her and Haseo. Now...I’m not so sure. Her dub voice is pretty bad...she sounds like a 10 year old boy. I know they do that a lot with tomboy characters but it doesn’t always work as well in English as it does in Japanese. I hope I can get past it but for now I find her voice very distracting.

-Zelkova! I like him. He cute. The concept for his character is cool too, he’s like this naive figure head kid who is unaware of the corruption of his own guild. I wanna protect him. 

So for my senior year I took AP studio art.  Kind of.  I took it for a month or so but quickly realized it wasn’t really what I wanted, so they kept me in the classroom but I took a class that’s requirements my teacher and I made up together.  But the school year before I was pretty set on taking AP art, partly because I had taken every other art class available and also because I really like the idea of being in some kind of elite class I guess(don’t judge me im desperate to feel good about myself lol)

But the school year before, because I was so set on it(and I was actually going to take it that school year but I decided it just didn’t fit in my schedule) I looked at the little pamphlet that you get about it and I was like okay what do I have to do to qualify for this or whatever.  And the pamphlet told me that I needed teacher approval and it either said I needed to show a portfolio or i assumed it did, and I’m pretty damn sure it was the former.  So I threw together what little finished looking art I had, which I quickly realized was not a lot, and stuff on my phone that was digital art.  I put it something nice looking and I put the art on my phone in a folder so I wouldn’t be spending a lot of time scrolling through picture for it.  So I had my art teacher look at it towards gaining approval to get into the class right.  So my art teacher was looking through it all, and probably about halfway through he told me that I didn’t actually need to show him this stuff, nobody has to like go through The Format or anything, if you want to get in you just can. Which Nobody Told Me.  the critique goes on, he flips through it all and then he asks me something along the lines of “do these look finished to you?”  and i’m like “yeah, I guess.”  and we talk about that for awhile and we basically get to the idea that really I need to add more stuff to the backgrounds or even have a background at all or add more detail and i tell him how i love detail but I always worry that if I put too much detail it’ll become too much and he kind of talks me out of that by showing me some famous artists with really lots of detail in their work

but somewhere in that conversation over the stuff i was showing him, he told me that my art “looks like your average high school fantasy art”

and just later in the day and the next couple days like

that made me really upset man

Because i really enjoyed what i was drawing at that time and the simpleness of that and I felt like I was getting closer to something repeatable and enjoyable

and all of sudden somebody tells you that’s bad

like he said it in a “that’s kind of bad, you should move away from that, move above that” kind of way

and after those couple of weeks I kind of forgot about it, but in the recent weeks I was just really looking at some of the cheaply framed art of mine on the walls, some of which was in that portfolio

and like im thinking, I was so happy and having so much fun when I was making those, when did i stop drawing cool looking but kind of generic fantasy characters and then i was like Oh.

And don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff I’m doing now, I think my character design and overall art skills have gotten a lot better since taking “AP art”(cause it technically wasn’t actually AP for me), but I kind of miss just having fun rather than worrying about Oh my god is this original enough, does it have enough detail, is there a background, how about complex lighting.

Like I had been doing a 30 days of monsters challenge or something when I made those

AND I WAS SUPER STRESSED though, cause like I felt like there was no way for me to make a piece every day and i also didn’t have enough water colour paper for it lol, but also because I knew there was absolutely no one to care if I didn’t finish it.  Which is really discouraging.  It’s both freeing to know that Literally No One Cares, but also super depressing to know that Literally No One Cares cause then like what is the point?

Like even if I enjoyed painting something and I really like it and then I post it and it doesn’t even get a -single- note, like I’m not kidding most of my art gets zero notes except for me reblogging it in hopes of somebody seeing it, then it kind of feels like making it was for nothing.  Especially since most of the time the art of mine that people do seem to like, usually in person, is art that I don’t really like, and then they don’t like the art that I think was actually really really good.

It’s annoying I guess.

But they also all had this cool funkiness to them that I kind of miss, and I don’t seem to anymore.  Like one of them has this big weird shape behind it that has super thick black lines on it.  I like that a lot.  But at the same time I guess I’m also trying to be sophisticated.  I guess.. I guess I’m trying to be an adult and have Adult art  !Not like sexual stuff!  but like stuff that seems more immaculate I guess. But then at the same time I’m trying to find a colouring style that’s repeatable and easy enough to make comics with, or work quickly with.

I.  I feel so slow.  I feel like I am So Slow.  Like everyone around me can make finished looking art in one day, and it takes me three days if im working on it constantly and I actually finish it and im not having like a Really Good Art Day.  And it just kind of beats all the want to make art of me when everything looks bad and everything takes to long to make finished.

And I both want to draw fanart and also know that fanart is honestly the only way i can ever get noticed on any website or thing ever. But I also feel like I such at drawing fanart.  I should draw fanart. A ton.  And just like not care how it looks or something I guess.  But at the same time if all anybody follows me for is fanart and then I just start drawing my regular stuff i know people will like get mad??? and like then it feels like i’ve tricked them into following me

but also I never draw consistently.  Like I don’t post art for months at a time.  I used to post more on my instagram but then my phone got fucked up and I can’t do that again until I have a new phone. BUT ALSO the stuff i posted on my instagram was traditional sketches and stuff because that’s what I would do inbetween classes and now that I don’t have class anymore i don’t really do a lot of traditional art.  Anything I do these days is digital.  But I spend wayy more time scrolling tumblr than I do making anything these days.  Hopefully I’ll be working on some doll customs soon but I can’t start on that until I order stuff and I can’t order stuff yet cause I have to do it through my mom because I still don’t have a bank account because we didn’t get me one before I turned 18 so now I can’t do anything really?  I can’t take commissions because I don’t have a bank account to link to my paypal, I can’t sell anything on etsy because 1. mail system and shipping in general is scary aND 1. PAYPAL with bank account thing again.  I can’t get paid from my online job until I have a bank account for them to put it in yet eitHER.

I just spend all day watching TV and scrolling tumblr in 80-100 degree weather everyday.

That’s all I do.

Everyday.

And I have pretty much zero friends.

I mean, it’s kind of what I expected out of life, but still.

Still horribly mentally ill and multiple fronts with no therapist.

Plants are still dying.

I’d go outside and do pok/em/on go but phone = broke so.

yeah, im trying to write stuff too, and ya know actually make some comics but art = hard so it doesn’t get very far.  Maybe make something with a friend?? but i don’t know if that’s gonna fall through or not cause like it would involve both art and writing and we all know how Slow i am at that stuff.