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bakubunny · 5 months

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😁 Alphabet for Bakugo or Kirishima, then. Your choice as I can't choose between them myself. 😋 Lol. Thank you for doing this! (I love these things)

nsfw alphabet: katsuki

enjoy! tw: f!reader, bodily fluids other than cum

aftercare -> he’s quiet and cuddly. also unexpectedly sappy and romantic in his own grumpy way. dom!kats follows your aftercare routine to a T and doesn’t deviate unless you ask.

body part -> even i can’t deny that katsuki is an ass man, no question about it (tho i kinda wish it wasn’t true). he’ll use your ass as a pillow any chance he gets. on himself, probably his shoulders or his hair.

cum -> i’m with @callm3senpaii on this one, he cums a lot. he also leaks a lot. he eats clean so it doesn’t taste terrible. he likes to see his cum on and in you.

dirty secret -> yes, he’s possessive as hell, but he’s okay sharing with friends… as long as he fucks you last, and gets to show everyone that he fucks you better than all of them.

experience -> either he’s very experienced because he’s hot and had a fuckboy era in his early 20s (or maybe just a long term partner), or he’s absolutely clueless because he’s been so focused on his career that he didn’t really get into a relationship. no in between.

favorite position -> doggy or modified doggy. anything where you’re bent over and he can fuck you like a ragdoll. special mention to missionary & holding you up to fuck you against a wall bc he’s more intimate than you’d think.

goofy -> he’s very serious in bed. there’s no question.

hair -> he’s cute and blonde all over. 🥺 katsuki likes to keep everything neat or shaved for comfort, but he’ll let his cute lil happy trail & a lil bit of a bush grow if he knows it turns you on.

intimacy -> he’s surprisingly intimate and romantic - at least when he loves the person he’s fucking. he’s almost too intense sometimes. his eyes bore into yours as if you’re the only person that matters, the only other person in existence, and he needs you to know it.

jack off -> he’s the type to fuck a fleshlight like he’s on top of you. he’ll let you watch if you ask nicely and play with yourself for him.

kink -> i actually don’t think he has a lot of kinks. if i had to pick, i’d say anal play/sex (giving) and rimming (giving and receiving) to start bc see above. also probably receiving praise.

location -> literally anywhere but beds/couches are nice. why do you think the couch in his office at the agency is way bigger and comfier than it needs to be?

motivation -> he won’t admit it, but he likes massages (especially his neck and hands) and when you run your hands over his body. loves it when you run your hands through his hair, kiss his neck. and frankly, just looking at you is enough to drive him crazy.

no -> cnc. he’ll rough you up as much as you could ever want, make you a snotty, drooling, fucked out mess, maybe even degrade or humiliate you if he knows without a doubt it’s consensual. but the second there’s any kind of resistance or fear in your eyes, he’s done. it scares the shit out of him to think you’d ever fear him, even if it’s all play.

oral -> katsuki prefers giving. he’ll let you suck his dick as much as you want, though. enjoys it more than he lets on; it makes him feel vulnerable to feel so much at once, so he’d rather give and hear you fall apart.

pace -> it’s katsuki. he’s fast and rough, but not because he means to be. he underestimates his strength and his natural inclination is to rush. slow and sensual is something he has to learn, and he eventually comes to crave it more and more the older he gets.

quickie -> he enjoys them a lot, but his dick size gets in the way. he finds ways to make it work, assuming you’re willing.

risk -> yes, he’ll experiment to a point. he’s not quite as “try anything” as say, kiri, but he’ll try most things.

stamina -> katsuki can last long enough usually, but he goes multiple rounds per session. i’m gonna say 2-4 before he’s done but i might say more if it didn’t seem too unrealistic. his refractory time is a few minutes to almost nonexistent; increases as he gets older.

toys -> he has silicone sleeves for himself and maybe a couple of small backdoor things but he’s also got a high powered wand and might get toys specifically for his s/o that he keeps separate.

unfair -> i eluded to this yesterday; at least in his 20s, i see him as being impatient and having a difficult time slowing down enough to do much teasing, let alone edging. the older he gets though, the more he enjoys it and the easier it is. dilf!bkg can keep teasing for a while - until you’re begging. but i think ultimately he’s probably more into overstim than teasing.

volume -> probably not as loud/vocal as you’d expect given how loud he is in general. he’ll groan some and whatnot but he’s more focused on other things. he talks some as well and likes to hear you respond (or rather your inability to).

wild card -> see below the cut if you so wish. this one’s gonna be truly gross and maybe a little controversial, sorry fam. cw: mention of bodily fluids. bonus hc: he’ll kiss your feet unprompted assuming they’re clean when your ankles are on his shoulders.

x ray -> i’ve gone into specific detail about what’s in his pants before, so i won’t dwell on it much. but katsuki is a fairly big guy - everywhere. including his dick. he’s not so big that it wouldn’t be believable if you’d overheard it or smth, but big enough that he’s gotten turned down because of it.

yearning -> damn near insatiable, at least in his 20s. he could go multiple rounds once or twice a day.

zzz -> it depends. sometimes he’s out like a light, other times, he’ll have more energy after than he did before.

wild card -> he would try piss play at least once or twice if you asked. has probably wondered what it would be like to get peed on, but has spent more time thinking about pissing on his partner… specifically face and tits. and surprisingly, his interest in it doesn’t stem from humiliation or degradation. it’s just a really intimate and vulnerable thing to engage in and that’s the part that interests him.

#bnha smut #mha smut #ask games #n.sfw alphabet #bakugou smut #bakugo smut #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #x reader #f!reader #bnha #mha #bakubunny #bakugo katuski #bakugou katsuki #aged up characters

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mastersoftheair · 2 months

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ok, so my own final (and very, very fresh) thoughts, bc i wanted to wait until i'd watched everything to make a sweeping opinion of the whole series, and it's quite opinionated. and long. probably too long. i write essays for fun (everyone point and laugh):

my personal (and very, very fresh) ranking of the hbo war shows (not including gen kill bc that's a different war, sorry) goes- band of brothers > masters of the air > the pacific (it's the same for my title score rankings. that hasn't changed yet)

my main points of contention with MotA are 1) the nine episodes, 2) the length of the episodes, and 3) certain editing choices. nine episodes, compared to the classic ten, isn't Nearly enough time to showcase all that they wanna showcase (especially when the episodes are as short as they are, once you get past the recap and "next on" parts). and they wanna showcase A Lot! there so much going on! i'd ask them to pace themselves, but they literally Can't!

i mean, the editing choices are a Whole Thing! practically gives me whiplash sometimes lol. i feel like the weaker episodes still have parts that are Really good, but like. Individually. they don't work together as a stronger whole, which is to the episode's detriment. rather than jumping around (as the show often did), they could've benefited a lot from focusing on the One Story instead of squeezing three more stories into there (i say that, but i think the 4-5-6 episode run (all with multiple stories per episode) did this very well while Still being very good episodes, so it's not like it Can't be done, it just didn't work for 7, 8 and (partly) 9). granted, i suspect a chunk of the weird editing can be blamed on, well, there being only nine (and not all that long) episodes and no one wanting to cough up enough money for a tenth. ugh! i'm blaming both hbo And appletv for this (and covid19 ig). it's just One More Episode, how much could it cost?? and on the subject of episodes, why no episode titles? you used to love episode titles! i could've brainstormed episode titles for them For Free!!

when it comes to the characters, the rankings remain the same: BoB > MotA > TP. it's not totally fair tho, since BoB followed the exact same (and large-ish) group of guys from beginning to end, so you're Gonna know who they all are and get attached. this wasn't the case (for me!) when watching TP, since, unlike BoB, they jump around from group to group. i never felt like i got to know them all that well, outside of the main characters. i think MotA almost hits that sweet spot, especially knowing they had those two main things going against it: large cast And jumping from group to group. there's a case to be made for bias here (i Was the blog blogging about everything MotA for like. years.), but i still think they found a good enough balance of fleshing out the main characters while Also helping the audience get to know about a bunch of minor characters, of which there are a shitton (and their personalities, motivations, backgrounds, quirks).

there's also the representation of women. actual angel renée lemaire is and will always be a cut above the rest (bastogne is just That Good, argue with the wall). she's written so well that it almost makes me forget about how a bunch of women are portrayed in carentan. i have...issues with how women are portrayed in TP (even tho i love lena), so there's that. MotA falls in the middle (again) bc there's Way more women on-screen, but the writing can be questionable. balanced (as all things should be?) captain l'sandra wing-westgate is a character of all time, but episode 7 birthed the craziest discourse known to man (the hbo war fandom), but it wasn't all that unwarranted. manon and michou were sooo cool, but we didn't see nearly enough of them (another victim of the 'editing too many stories into one episode' problem. why not a whole resistance episode? or at least as the only b-plot?). paulina was interesting, but fulfilled one of those 'attractive foreign woman gives sage advice during/after sex' tropes (there's probably a tvtropes page for that idk). so many red cross girls, but none of the in-depth payoff :/ epic highs (multiple women!!) + epic lows (writing women??) = pretty tolerable. not great, not terrible. it was aight. i trust the fandom to build on this tho.

narrative is the big one tho. it's the whole "doing so much with so little" thing they've got going on (i'm ignoring their big budget here lol, could've been bigger). rather than having one main story with many connecting side stories (like BoB), it does the TP thing where there's many semi-connecting side stories set in the same general area. it helps that there's crosby's narration (i enjoy narration, sue me!), and he helps everything connect, sorta. but there's still other side stories that have Nothing to do with him (sandra's side gigs (revealing what she did takes away the mystery of what she Might be doing), the tuskegee airmen, quinn and bailey's eurotrip). would it have helped if there were two narrators (say, someone like rosie)? idk. gonna sit with that one. if there's a through-line, it's not super obvious like in the other two shows. which is insanely funny to me bc i literally like TP less, but that show's got an Extremely tight through-line all the way down. i can't lie and say it doesn't!

back to budget- i've seen people criticize this show for being called "masters of the air" when there's not much of "the air". ig that's fair, but there's the money issue, again. also, it'd get very repetitive if they were always in "the air". there was enough confusion about identifying who was who with the masks on, so imagine if that was Every Episode. out of All the issues the show has, this is the least issue-y. again, that's just my opinion, and it could change.

another budget thing (i think??)- idk enough about costuming and hair for period pieces so i can't comment on that with my 0 background in it, all i Can say is that i knoooooow people were clowning on marjorie cleven's hair in episode 1 (and i could see why, no such thing as 1940s beach waves). but from what i could understand- that actress' addition was a last-minute thing (bc i had No idea who the hell she was and i already found someone cast for marjorie all the way back in 2021). maybe there's something to say about the quality of rush jobs, but i really do think it was the most last-minute thing bc it came out of Nowhere, and timeline-wise, it looks like that bit was done long after everything else had been filmed. outside looking in, it seems something probably went wrong/didn't work out with who or what they already had and there wasn't enough wiggle room (time and money) to fix it. this isn't me being an apologist (lol), but i feel like a theorist at a big board bc nothing adds up! and i wanna know what happened! i'm just speculating! speculating on this blog is All i did for like Years lmaooo.

this is more of a side thing, but some of the lines in MotA feel really on-the-nose, almost corny. and that was Gonna be a knock against it, but there's some equally Extremely on-the-nose lines in both BoB and TP (Especially in BoB), so if i give MotA shit for it, i'd have to give all three shows shit for it lol. none of them are free of cheese.

another silly aside- no peaches, no main gingers, no main eugenes! we can't have 'em all, but c'mon!

there Is some good tho lol. one thing that MotA really has going for it, that i think the other shows have less of, is- and GOD it feels so weird to call this "world-building" when it's actual goddamn history, but- it's got world-building. maybe that isn't the best word for it. but i like how much Bigger ww2 feels in this show. BoB is one stop, then the next stop, then the next stop, which is, admittedly, good from a narrative-perspective (easy to follow), but not as good when you want a scale of how devastating the war is (in fairness, it was filmed in 2000). even TP feels pretty "enclosed" in a way. there's island-hopping, yeah, but all the damn islands look the same (not including australia lol). it's a theatre of the war we otherwise don't really get to see, but there still isn't all that much to see. it's water and sand and rock and dirt. which is the point, but Whatever! would've been cool if we saw sledge and co. in china, but moving on. MotA's able to really show the scale of it, both in the air and on the ground (that scene in germany during episode 6 was both harrowing and fantastic, also the inclusion of the actual children forced to fight nearer to the war's end in the finale). idk i just liked how it was able to zoom in and zoom out (and in and out again) in a way that the other shows weren't.

another thing it's got that the other shows don't is Really driving home how young everyone is (not "child soldier" young, but damn young). the cast is full of baby faces (rip babyface). a lot of ww2 shows/movies don't bother casting to reflect this, but i think overlooking that takes away from the overall impact. you browse through some old newspaper articles or photos of soldiers during ww2 enough and you're gonna Regularly get hit with the face of someone who looks like they could've sat in the desk next to you during a high school lit class. a lot of those b&w grinning faces look like kids bc they pretty much were (more so if they lied about their age). you don't really get that in BoB or TP (it's Crazy when the real life pics of the soldiers portrayed in those shows look younger than the actors).

i'm mixed about the tuskegee airmen. what we have, i love (thank you, dee rees). unfortunately, my biggest irk is that it leaves me wanting more of them, which i won't ever get. speaking as a black person (not speaking for All black people, just how i personally feel about it), having them included feels like a catch-22. if they weren't included in any capacity (all while knowing there were whole tuskegee airmen in stalag iii with the white main characters), there'd be a problem. however, including them (all while having these time constraints and not enough focus on them) leads to the feeling of having them "tokenized" (which i can see). there's no world where there'd be 50/50 split (even a 70/30 split) bc, at that point, just give them a show of their own. but there'd still be a general annoyance that big budget ww2 shows are only ever white. on the other hand, hanks and spielberg and orloff and miller and all the directors (except dee rees) are white, and how good of a story about black people are you really gonna get from the perspective of nonblack people? that in mind, i personally don't feel put-off by having the three tuskegee airmen in the posters/trailers/promos, bc i just Know there'd be a whole nother problem if they weren't included in them at all despite being in the show for however long (it'd be even worse if they made their pictures smaller). like i don't work in advertising, but i don't know if a "sweet spot" even exists for something like this. people would be pissed off no matter what imo (i'm also speaking with a bias here bc i had to browse through sooooo many comments written by white guys whining and crying and pissing and shitting themselves once they learned that the tuskegee airmen were gonna be in the show in Any capacity, so i'm just cool knowing they're in shambles rn (and josiah cross- he played richard macon- always goes Wild seeing his face in the promos, and his joy is pretty contagious).

i give it somewhere like a 7.5-8/10. 3.75 stars out of 5. not perfect, subject to change, gotta marinate, but i'm overall happy with it! MotA's best episodes are better than many other individual hbo war episodes. should i be grading it using the overall sum of its parts, not just the different parts? idk, i'm not being paid to grade lol.

#i feel like i'm knocking the pacific too much in this even when i like the pacific. i just like it much less #i've talked my sister's ear off enough about it (she adores the pacific the way i do band of brothers)#and like i've got plenty of issues with band of brothers but it just does it for me. idk. i'm complicated by avril lavigne #this is an essay. my GOD is this an essay #but better to vomit it all out now so i can look over it later and see how my opinion changes over time. i want to archive my fresh thought #masters of the air #hbo war #masters of the air spoilers #mota spoilers #band of brothers #the pacific #for once i'm not spam-tagging those. i talk about them a decent amount in here. sorry for the people who don't go here tho #long post

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probably-not-a-rutabaga · 25 days

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I thought up multiple questions, as a rambling enabler

1. Why does Mikey wear a cloak to keep him warm while the others dont? Is it just because the kraang care for his health the most, because they don't want their key to die? Does Mikey feel bad about it?

2. The chains on Mikey's wrists look like ones of his own creation. Did the kraang force him to chain himself up? Is he able to break the chains?

3. Did the turtles always live under the control of kraang, or were they found by kraang later?

4. We know Leo acts cold to keep his brothers safe, but do the other brothers do anything like this? Sacrificing something they want for the safety of their brothers?

5. When did Donnie get his "battle shell"? Was it his own choice? Also, why do the kraang value him so lowly if he can pilot the technodrome, something a kraang can do?

6. Last one, any ideas for other characters in the au? Splinter, April, Draxum?

I think this au rocks, if you couldn't tell :)

1. it's somewhat because he's the most physically weak and with his overuse of mystic powers, the most likely to actually struggle with the cold of the prison dimension

(also because i wanted to give his design something flowy)

2. the chains are more symbolic than anything. yes, he could get rid of them, but if the kraang tell him to chain himself to the ground while practicing his mystic energy, he's not going to mess around and see what happens if he ignores them

3. they were found by the kraang early on. mikey's use of mystic energy was quite disruptive in the void of the prison dimension

4. uhhh,, ig raph is the most prone to taking hits/punishments for his bros, if that counts??? the kraang allow it,, mostly because they know raph can take it-

and honestly !!! seeing raph get hurt for something he didn't even do is almost a more effective form of punishment

5. donnie made it when he realized that part of the reason he wasn't valuable was because of how "fragile" he is.

the kraang value him so lowly because he's just,, kinda,,,, useless to them???? he can't fight very well, his mystic powers just create weapons/tech they're literally surrounded by, and he's more defiant than the others??? somewhat????

they teach him how to control the technodrome as a back up, essentially. killing him would take away the only skill he does have, which is being important to his brothers. it's much easier to control the other three when they all know how unimportant donnie is :3

6. i do have some ideas !!! just know that splinter hasn't forgotten the turtles or anything. he mourns the loss of those silly, helpless little guys,, who's demise he inadvertently caused <3

#rutabaga answers #tmnt #prison dimension au #prison dimension turtles

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romanarose · 4 months

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Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

#romana personal posts #cw suicide #cw self harm #cw csa #cw sa

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tender-rosiey · 2 years

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𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐖 | gojo x f!reader

| pt 2 | - | pt 3 | — [SERIES MASTERLIST]

ᴀ/ɴ: by popular demand, a part two has been delivered and I am thinking of making a part three, but who knows; it does depend on y’all in the end <3 I had fun with this honestly 👁🫦👁

safe to say, after your last interaction with gojo: the two of you didn’t talk. you were happy with that, so happy. you were finally freed from the shackles of that suffocating marriage, and you thank god that you didn’t go through with the ceremony.

your hand felt a lot lighter too. now, there was nothing holding you back from thriving and making the most out of everything. consequently, after multiple successful missions, the higher-ups have decided to assign you a mission that was rather high in level.

you had faith in yourself, considering the information provided about the curse. you were also told that you will be with multiple other sorcerers so things can go smoother. you didn’t object, considering how even if paired up with someone: it would never be gojo.

you were in kyoto, and with him being in tokyo, it was quite impossible. not to mention, that almost everyone knows the past you two have had.

the mission was going rather comfortably, and easily. the curse’s traces have been found and your group had followed it and found it. now, what’s left is to exorcise it. should be easy, right? you did read that its abilities can be nullified by yours and that overpowering it was guaranteed.

wrong, so wrong. those fuckers mixed up papers and now you were facing a curse that quite literally is your natural enemy. you were a nice person, never liking to cause people harm; however, considering your situation, no one would blame you for cursing those geezers to the moon and back.

holding onto the hope of help coming before you were dealt with was rather naïve in your line of work, though you only wish it will actually happen. as you run to take cover, you hear a loud gruesome screech and sounds of smashing and breaking. after that, your ears are met with nothing but silence.

“I never thought that you would be able to deal damage to that, since you are pretty weak and it’s your natural enemy and all, you know.”

of all people, the person you dreaded the most, someone whose voice became like chalk being dragged roughly across a board to you, and someone you have obviously come to hate.

“are you done with your inner monologue?” he rubs his neck, and cracks it, “egoistical people are so tiring, ugh.”

you mumble, “tell yourself that.”

“I heard that.”

“good, now out of my sight,” you stand up, completely forgetting why you were taking cover; you had rather—noticeable injuries. gojo eyed your figure up and down.

he takes a hold of your wrist, “you can’t move like that,” you quirk your eyebrow at him, and walk a few steps proving him wrong. “y/n, you know what I mean,” he sighs. for some reason, he can’t handle when you, out of everyone else who has given him attitude, do so.

he couldn’t blame you though, after his realization he stopped, neither of you were to blame for the engagement or planned marriage. both of you didn’t want it, yet he went on with being an asshole and hurt and disrespected you.

“leave me alone, gojo; i am sure someone else will come and help me like a gentleman,” you say leaning onto a wall.

the man in question just ruffles his hair, “well, too bad, sweetheart. I am the only person and gentleman you will be seeing for quite sometime,” he announces while leaning on the wall opposite to yours.

you slowly lift your head up, tilting to the side, “what do you mean?”

a grin makes into gojo’s face and he takes a few steps towards you before leaning down, “they told you that you were going to be partnered with someone for the upcoming 2 months, right?”

you refused to believe it, no way, absolutely no way, “OVER MY FUCKING DEAD BODY!”

“woah, calm down, sugar; it wasn’t my choice either,” he proclaimed, “its their way of saying: both of you should start getting along.”

you take a sharp breath in before letting it out, “with all the respect I can nitpick,”

“rude.”

“shut up; gojo, I can’t physically nor mentally work with you,” you conclude.

silence engulfs the atmosphere for a moment, “I figured as much, still hate me?”

“very much so.”

“lovely.”

he puts his hand on his chin, to emphasize that he is in his “thinking” state, which never ends well. “so how about—“

“no.”

“sweetie, didn’t anyone teach you to not interrupt someone when they are talking?” he asks and you only roll your eyes, letting him continue, “how about you let me make everything up to you now? for the two coming months, I will prove to you that I am worth your trust, sounds good?”

“suggestion denied.”

he huffs, “thought so,” a pout settles onto his glossy lips, wait glossy? moving on, he speaks again, with a rather more serious tone, “I know I was an asshole, a bitch, and frankly an awful man.”

“still could be, but okay.”

“can you just listen to me until the end?” he retorts and resumes “I want to make up for everything I have done; if I can’t make you at least like me as friend then I don’t want to be someone your unfiltered hatred is direct to.”

you wait a moment, in case he wants to say something, but when met with silence, you answer “why now? and do you think that money will just make all what happened disappear?”

he places his hand on your shoulder, “I am not trying to win you over by money or gifts; I never thought of you like that. I know you are more than I used to give you credit for. you are weak, but you try.”

you punch him in the stomach, and you find that his infinity isn’t on, but he doesn’t as much as flinch, “y/n, I don’t want to be the person that your eyes burn with hatred when they see them. if I can’t be someone who you can care about then let it be neutral.”

you cross your arms, “you didn’t answer my question: why now?”

he takes a deep breath, “I thought about everything that happened between us; I know you think that I never paid attention to you, but I did. to the point, I though I was going crazy. before you interrupt, yes I was seeing other women, but for some reason you still weren’t out of my mind.”

“liar,” you sneer, “you told me that I was the last thing on your mind. you always voiced it out too. stop lying, haven’t you done enough already?”

he sighs, hand making its way to your waist; he knows he is risking it, but his heart has decided for a while before his mind did: he wanted you. he hugs you, his touch barely there, “let me try at least; try waiting for me a bit. I swear that I will make it worth it.”

maybe yes, his mind was distracted, but at the end, the person who he kept thinking about in his dreams was you.

before you could protest and drop kick him like a child, he continues, “I know; I have been awful to you.” he pulls back and loudly says with his hand on his forehead, dramatic antics coming back “would you please grace me with your forgiveness and give me a chance to fix things, oh dear gorgeous y/n?”

his other hand is extended to you, you were contemplating whether to bite it or not, but you were thinking, maybe it won’t hurt to see what he will do. if no progress can be seen with him, then at least you would be spoiled, and who would say no that?

the moment your hand makes contact with his, he beams, before kissing it gently and running off like a child in a sugar rush, “wait when it strikes 4pm tomorrow! we have a long day!”

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-2 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @bakugossanity @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @fiona782 @kisakitwister

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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kerubimcrepin · 4 months

Text

Episode 9: The Legendary Unikron

The post where I finally make the naming format of this blog more sane

This is the same place as the one, where in the episode "Heads for no Tails" it will be revealed that Kerubim obtained the legendary, life-draining Heads for no Tails restraint while pissdrunk. Y'know. The one meant for an Ondine created by Djaul to trick the dragon Aguabrial into creating a Dofus.

Yeah, I will not think too much about the fact that it is flipped. To me, they're The Same Place. I guess he's been drinking here for decades. Kind of cute.

And yeah I guess it means the Ondine named Ondine, from the episode Like a Snapper in the Water is literally just named "Siren the Siren". I guess her mermaid parents weren't very creative. I'll mention this when I liveblog that episode too, but I would feel bad, if I didn't mention this here too.

We will talk about my feelings on Kerubim leaving the legendary demon-killing life-draining shackles somewhere Joris, in his shelf-climbing corridor-running wisdom, could reach, later.

We'll get there when we get there.

Glad to know there's a reason Kerubim and Joris live in a bad neighborhood. And that reason is that Kerubim wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else.

Love his scary and off-putting behaviours.

Okay, rant incoming:

Firstly, this is a customary french drink bowl, to stop any wondering from the non-french aware readers. It's normal for French people to drink coffee, milk, and tea from a bowl, soup-style, in the morning and in the evening. So this part is normal.

Now onto more sillywhacky part of this: What the fuck is Joris doing here, exactly?

As we can see, his Bowl of Liquid is steaming even before he starts pouring the chocolate milk into it. Is he adding chocolate milk to hot milk? Is he adding chocolate milk to cocoa or hot chocolate? (I will fight people who don't differentiate between them, they're two different things, you heathens.)

Is he, mayhaps, adding it... to tea?

We will never know, yet the question is haunting.

Interestingly, it seems that one of Simone's jobs around the house is polishing swords. Also, her being here so late means that, quite predictably, she is a live-in maid.

(You can see that like, 50% of this blog is me paying to random details that could only be useful in like, extremely faithful fanfiction, and 50% getting whacky with this show's storytelling.)

I love Simone so, so much. Truly, she is Joris's cooler aunt.

No comment besides this image.

Joking. I do have a comment, actually. Imagine me putting on a tinfoil hat here, btw.

I think it's kinda telling that Joris's main fear, the one that re-occurs a multiple times during the show, and always, without fail, makes him break down in tears, is Kerubim dying.

The facts that are important to keep in mind are: They've been living together alone for Joris's entire life, Joris knows he's adopted, and Kerubim himself is an orphan, which he doesn't really hide.

Which leads to multiple conclusions, which all coexist:

1. Joris is a kid who's very aware of the mortality of parents/guardians, and that, above everything else, that he is lucky to have a home and a semblance of family. That if Kerubim wasn't there, he may not have had that.

Which is uh... a pretty stressful thing for a kid his age to know, I suppose!

Especially considering the fact that Kerubim is an old man riddled with back pains, and for 7 years had such a level of post-lou-divorce post-battle-with-julith depression that he could not figure out how to get them into a clean, non-shitty non-hazardous home.

And now that their home IS clean, still can't make it non-hazardous.

2. Joris and Kerubim are much closer than most parents and children, because they literally have no other relatives, and Kerubim has pushed away most people who would consider him a friend in the past. Only relying on one another isn't the best or healthiest idea, but what choice do they have?

You can't just show up at home, be like "i would be dead, if it wasn't for you giving me water, my jojo <3" and not expect to inflict some eldritch horror levels of psychic damage onto your son.

Especially considering the fact, that he KNOWS, from your own shitty stories, that when you're gone, and it IS a when, because you're an old man who's constantly complaining about his health, he's going to be fending for himself all alone.

It's pretty obvious, then, why Joris would put Kerubim on a very high pedestal and, as will be shown later, prioritize the man's feelings over his own. Kerubim is his best friend, his role model, provider, guardian, AND the only one family member he has.

Besides depending on him, Joris knows papycha is a very, very lonely and sad person, — and who is he, not to try and make the life of the one person, who's most important to him, better?

If Kerubim isn't always happy, both in general and with Joris, then that's the worst thing ever, and if Kerubim isn't amazing, all-capable, and Not Going To Die Within The Next Couple Of Years Due To Being Old As Fuck, then their life is Over.

So Joris has to put in a lot of work.

This analysis isn't even picking apart the nitty-gritty of Kerubim being an orphan and having abandonment issues, or the way those things make him latch onto Joris the same way Joris latches onto him — as if this child is his Only Hope and Savior, Who Won't Leave Him Like All The Others.

And how that might lead to him REALLY liking Joris idealizing and putting him on a pedestal, despite the guilt he might feel knowing that that's kind of a... not-good parenting tactic.

...Man this post isn't even a rewatch liveblog anymore, it's just an analysis post, innit? 💀

#ep9 #wakfu #dofus #krosmoz #ro liveblogs dofus #joris jurgen #kerubim crepin

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burst-of-iridescent · 9 months

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I sent you the last question. and although I'm not going to argue, there are some points I should clarify.

«that you ship kat.aang.»

You're wrong, I don't ship kataang. I agree that this is a good ending to the show if the creators wanted a romantic ending, because kataang is a story, supported by multiple references and symbolism, about two children, two survivors of the genocide who fought for victory shoulder to shoulder and now go forward together as partners to build a new and better world. this is a very beautiful ending, embodying all the main themes of the show. But I am not an active shiper and would quite agree to an ending in which kataang would not be canonically confirmed.

«what a pity that they didn't end the show with a beautiful, strong, intimate friendship that provided the perfect foundation for a romance to develop.»

Yes, just like the show ended with Zuko's beautiful, strong, intimate friendship with Sokka, Toph and Aang. Zuko and Katara ended the show as friends, but there was never anything in their relationship that Zuko didn't have with Sokka, Toph, or Aang. With Aang, in fact, Zuko has much more parallels, symbolism and friendly interaction (apparently, on this basis it should be assumed that zukaang was robbed).

«it is usually good to provide this little thing called evidence when carrying out analysis.»

it would be my plesure:

"Your sister. She hates me! And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me."

"Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice."

These are quotes from the show. it would be great if you revisit the show itself from time to time, if you undertake to talk about how poorly the writers understand the characters.

«their choices are made for them by writers whose job is to make those choices make sense within the scope of their own narrative arcs, and fit the themes and messages of the show.»

which is what we are talking about. Kataang developed literally from the first episode, we saw how Katara's feelings for Aang were born and developed.

s1 ep 14 Katara first starts thinking about Aang as a potential partner.

s2 ep 2 Katara first offers to kiss Aang, is offended when he refuses and then blushes when she later remembers the kiss.

S3 ep2 Katara is jealous and offended when she sees other girls flirting with Aang, and then rejoices when he invites her to dance and looks at him with loving eyes during the dance.

S3 ep10 Katara blushes when Aang kisses her and anxiously watches as he flies away to fight the firelord.

S3 ep17 The whole episode very clearly mocks the idea of zutara. We see how the propaganda of the fire nation mock Katara rasistic way as a brown girl, overly sexualizing her, showing zutara in his performance and forcing «katara» to say that Aang is like a brother to her.

S3 ep21 Katara initiates her and Aang's kiss. It is important that kataang happens on her terms and it is she who initiates the beginning of their relationship.

You'll just have to throw these pieces out of the show and ignore the feelings and aspects of Katara's personality to claim that it didn't happen. when I say that kataang and maiko are canon, i dont mean at all "bryke and ehaz wanted to make them canonical and did." I mean, "it logically follows from the characters, from the symbolism and themes of the show." The development of the characters is important, not what the writers wanted.

I'm not going to continue this conversation, it would just be cool if you didn't literally throw whole pieces out of the show and ignore the character of Katara to prove that your ship is something more than just a fanon.

sweetie, there is not a thing you’ve shown me in any of our discussions (and i use that term generously, given that all you’ve done is refuse to engage with my arguments, continue spewing the most egregious misinterpretations, and generally be walking proof of what happens when you don’t pay attention in english class) so far that could convince me that you’re worth giving any more of my attention to.

if you are actually interested, i have addressed all of your “points” and more here — but of course, you never came to me looking for a good-faith, intellectual debate in the first place, given that you didn’t even have the guts to stand by your own arguments without hiding behind anon.

i hope someday you’re able to find joy in something other than bothering strangers on the internet just because they like two different fictional people kissing than you do.

have a good day 🥰

#zutara #anti kataang #any further messages in my inbox will be deleted without being read 💗#just letting you know since you seem somewhat concerningly obsessed with me

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castleaudios · 1 year

Note

Cole got bored at work and loves your characters questions, go! lol 1. Does Ms Liz know diner lingo? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diner_lingo) I love it so much and she seems like a perfect fit to use it. 2. Can Exscaleibur (I probably butchered his name spelling, I'm sorry) actually visit the library, or does he look too draconic (Rose called him a drake as well as a bearded dragon so wasn't sure which he is, if not both) to be seen by the non magical community? If the latter, could he wear/get a collar enchanted to act like the library wards do, and make him seem like a regular lizard to normies? I could see Beth helping with that for a challenge lol 3. We know Celine collected items. What is her favorite/weirdest item she collected? (Sorry if you already answered this, I tried checking but didn't find it) 4. What's the biggest work pet peeve for any of these lovelies: Beth (Tailor), Simon (Butcher), Abby (Uber), Rose (Librarian), Ranger (Ranger), Chloe (Spa Worker) 5. Your choice of characters - favorite pizza topping(s)? Or if you want more specific, which heathens (said lovingly, as my partner is one) put pineapple on pizza? lol

Hope you're having a great day, and thank you so much for indulging all of us! My partner has heard me ramble about your audios and characters many a time, and while they are not personally someone who enjoys ASMR RPs, they do enjoy hearing about yours! ^_^

Cole! Always enjoy answering your queries!

1- Miss Liza does know diner lingo!

2- Exscaleibur is quite literally a plain bearded dragon, nothing magical about him so he can visit the library whenever! Rose just doesn't bring him all too often in case she gets too busy to look after him, but Dear helps out with babysitting!

3- She's since moved them to an archive at a museum as an anonymous donor, but she used to have a filing cabinet full of newspaper clippings and magazines of historical discoveries that turned out to be completely wrong. She found so much joy in the discoveries of the world and how them being incorrect changed history.

4- Beth: Whenever people sit in on a person's fitting just to nitpick their body and make judgmental comments. She's tossed out multiple spouses, parents, and "friends" in her time at the shop.

Rose: Dog-earing the pages in books

Abby: People who leave their food in the back of her seat, she keeps her car so nice! It's just rude.

Simon: When people think they can return unused meat that they bought.... Yes, it happens.

Chloe: When people think they can get extra services and more expensive items if they dangle a nice tip in her face.

Ranger: Mysterious families who randomly move in and takeover an abandoned country club. And poachers.

5- Ohhh!! Heathens include: Me :) But also Ro, Chloe, Knight, Claire, and Isla.

#castlereplies #coleblackblood

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just-a-carrot · 21 days

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Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

oh gosh what a question ldkjfadl

hmmmm

putting this under a cut because it got long and rambly lakdfa

for me personally i don't think i've ever made that many "right" choices when it comes to how i handle my online presence in game dev, it was mostly just me doing what seemed like the right thing to do at the time. it's also changed a lot all throughout my time as a dev

tho i guess the main thing is that i did create a whole new game dev online identity, so to speak, when i first got into game dev. this wasn't really due to any purposeful thought put into it though and was more just because 1) i didn't really have much online identity anyway at the time and 2) in the beginning i was trying to be more "professional" LOL

when i released easter, i did it without any presence at all. i had no accounts or anything. i literally just finished the game and threw it up on itch and gamejolt using the new studio name i had come up with based on an inside work joke. it wasn't until i started to get a few people talking about the game or linking to it/making vids that i was like hmmm i should have a twitter maybe LOL so like a week later i made a twitter. but i barely posted on it, it was just responding to other people. a year later when i released the 2.0 update i also made a few posts. then thought i might start using it more so started posting just a few random updates of new stuff i was trying out/working on (this was when i made my first couple of posts about early OW stuff)

but then when i shifted out of game dev again for a while, i abandoned it

it wasn't until august of 2021 that i began actively using my account again to post production updates for work on ow. but back then i was a lot more "emotionless" for lack of a better word. like i approached it in a more no-nonsense way than i do today. i also never got that much response from it either, usually lucky to get like 2 or 3 likes on stuff 🤣 over the course of that first year or so though i would change a lot in how i handled my online stuff, acting much more like myself, interacting a lot more with people, and getting increasingly more unhinged(???) LOL perhaps because i'd begun to see that being "super professional" when i'm just a little random person making a game all by myself there's no reason to be so stiff (and it's just much more fun and genuine to not be afraid to be myself and be a bit silly). over this time was also when i'd shift away from using my studio name and just taking the "carrot" identity. because i realized i didn't like people thinking about me as an impersonal studio and wanted to just be me, carrot, interacting with people, making games, and getting unhinged about my chars and stories

is this the right way to do it???? i have no idea. but perhaps since i never have any aspirations of grandeur and don't plan to be any kind of business, it's fine for me. and while it's true that i don't like to post, reblog, interact with, content unrelated to my games or other VN stuff, that's mostly because i don't want to annoy people who i know only follow me for game stuff (i worry about annoying people a lot, actually, it might be one of the core foundations for how i handle myself online LMAO). i don't have any other presence online though. once i started my game dev stuff, carrot became me, and it's all that's out there. so it's not like i need to "separate" anything. but also i'm not a very avid user of social media in general so it's not like i have an active desire to have different accounts so i can tweet about or comment on other stuff lakdjfasd i'm an old socially anxious duck who gets mentally exhausted just scrolling my feed. i don't need to spend any more time online than i already do with my game dev stuff hahaha. i do know some other devs though for instance that have private accounts on twitter just for their friends and more personal thoughts. so that's always an option too

as for what you should do in your own situation with your own online presence, i'm not really sure, as it all comes down to what you want. for me, since i didn't have much presence anyway, and because i wanted my game dev stuff to be its own thing, it made sense for me to create a new presence just for game dev (that eventually evolved into my entire self LKDJFAS). so it's hard for me to say what would be the best course of action if you already have an online presence that forms a core part of your identity that you don't want to lose. it also depends on what you want to eventually do with your games and if you see yourself really wanting to pursue it actively and make it a big part of your life. most devs that i know do have "game dev" presences for lack of a better word, where if you go to their accounts, it's just for game dev. or they create studios and studio accounts. i think no matter what you decide to do, even if you keep the name the same, it would probably be best to at least keep your game dev stuff separate, because people could potentially be put off from following an account for games but then their feed gets filled with a lot of non-game stuff from you that they don't care about

no matter what you decide to do though, i recommend being yourself no matter what. whether you keep with your same identity or craft a new game dev only one, still do what feels right for you on that account and be yourself and have fun with it!! game dev can already be such an isolating and hard experience, so creating a space where you can be silly and have fun with other devs and fun with your chars and ideas can really help so much to give you motivation and just enjoy your time creating games!!!

(sorry if this was a complete ramble that didn't even still fully answer the question; i can only speak from my own personal experiences that i went through after all and i don't really have any good or professional answers since i also have no idea what i'm doing most of the time 🤣)

#ask: other #ask: game dev

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year2000electronics · 6 months

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Hi, just being curious, what do you think is the greatest difficulty you’ve faced carrying out the storyline in your ask blogs (aside from potential burnout)?

Is there any time where the asks were not going towards the direction where you’d want them to go, and how did you steer the story back on track?

Do you have any techniques giving out clues or keeping the pace of the ask blog?

[sorry these are a lot. Of questions. It’s just, it’s amazing how you are able to run multiple successful askblogs, and I’m curious how you did it]

OOOH THESE ARE SOME INTERESTING QUESTIONS! really pickin at my old noggin here...

id say probably the most difficult part is like... ok through my tenure ive obviously had some physically taxing moments, moments of people being way too mean, people being way too NICE, people complaining that every single member of a giant ensemble cast doesnt get the exact same amount of screentime etc etc, but id honestly say the hardest part is just. making the medium Work. when i run an ask blog like this, im basically asking people to drive the story forward with no promise of whether their choices even like. Matter. if youre not tethered enough to your asks, it can feel like youre just asking people to put a coin in the slot and letting the story play for another page. you have to play this balancing act of wanting to tell the story you want to tell while also needing peoples' help to get there. thats why an engaging story and endearing characters are so important. i wound up telling people here on my main that y2k would end with a good ending specifically because i got people concerned i genuinely would end it with a Bad End, but still even knowing that people would tune in. so its like. i always have to make sure its Engaging enough. for people to be willing to play this game with me at all. the hardest part of fishing is getting the fish to bite yk.

2. YES ALL THE TIME LOLLLL a lot of the time i will end up either picking an ask from before the topic came up and answer that one, or plant my own decoy ask. basically jingling keys at people HJSSKHASGK. but sometimes even that doesnt work! benrey in y2k has a very touchy complex about his helmet specifically because I DIDNT HAVE SPRITES WITH HIS HAIR. and i thought that his hair was kinda boring compared to what people were probably expecting (its very short and simple i draw his hair like bootleg barney) so i ended up having to answer that little thread by having an explosion and then presenting my own resolution (gordon calm him down :)) i like to think ive gotten better at key jingling though haha. usually the two types of key jingling topics i find work best are either little plot teases or a 'now back to what we were doing' ask, but if you dont want things to advance quite yet, i usually use questions that will elaborate on a character trait or introduce a new character fact

3. dont be me. /j ok actually the thing about this specific medium is like. people will send me asks guessing my twists WAAAAY early on but the thing is i can just. choose not to answer them. hehe. id personally pay attention to how often people are guessing your twists though because like. its BOUND to happen if you lay out clues some people will pick up on them. if theres not a lot of people guessing, then you can lean more into the big sting reveals of like 'NOOOOBODY EXPECTED THIS' but when a lot of people have guessed the twist, i usually make sure to present it in a way that doesnt imply that there was nobody on the right trail or that people got bamboozled. as for the clues themselves. well im about to figure that out myself again! i have some clues i need to lay in bmfe!! dont get discouraged if people pick up on what you thought was really subtle, cos like. literal day 1 of episode 3 someone literally made a powerpoint saying 'LEADING LIGHT IS BACK' and i was like ok i was just on my first crumb DAMN. as for pacing, it doesnt matter if you get the blog done in one month or one year- what does matter is PLANNING. if you know what your goal is, what your landmarks and checkpoints are, youll be able to stagger stuff successfully no matter the length. some of the best-recieved parts of y2kvr were parts i went into the session going 'this is my goal for today' for. the goals dont even have to big, it could even be something as small as like 'get from place a to place b'

SORRY THIS GOT LONG but ty for the question! reflecting on my process is interesting :]

#mothra answers

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bookishfeylin · 1 year

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I would LOVE to hear your opinions on Calanmai, actually. To me, the scene was so frustrating mainly because Feyre is told multiple times to simply not go outside, and people always use that as an excuse for her… going outside because they didn’t tell her a reason why so it’s just chalked up as her having natural “human curiosity”. But then she gets into trouble, and after she’s saved that boundary is reestablished, but… she still decides to leave and it’s no longer her “human curiosity” driving her, but her jealousy??? That Tamlin will be having sex with other people under no control of his own??? So she goes out to find Tamlin in hopes that… what? Something would happen??? Hello? Like, I think it was Lucien that explains to her that since Tamlin is attracted to her he’d try and seek her out or something, but that doesn’t stop her. Which, huh? Tamlin doesn’t want her going out to avoid this specific situation, and yet she completely disregards that.

As for Tamlin, I always saw Calanmai as sexual assault for the person participating in it, especially since we find out that Tamlin doesn’t even want to do it??? Hello??? Not to mention that this magic is not the same as being drunk, it’s literally a possession by some “entity” that quite literally forces you to seek out and have sex with the next thing that moves. Hello??? He literally… has no choice at all. Which was honestly disgusting to read because it doesn’t come under any questioning within text. But at the same time during the bite we see him garner some type of self control and tells her to leave… so he can control himself to some degree??? He just wanted to teach her some sort of lesson??? Like tf dude? Hello? Management? I’d like to file a complaint.

When I first read this scene as a young teen not understanding the world, I always blamed Feyre because she was told multiple times not to leave, but she still… fucking left. Especially in hopes that something would happen, and when something did happen she blamed him, as if she wasn’t warned. But I’m older and less stupid now, and I just blame the author now for even WRITING this scene, cause it’s EVERYONE getting assaulted under no scrutiny or critique in the text on why Calanmai is assault for Tamlin, and WHY the fuck she would write Feyre as “wanting” Tamlin in that moment of her assault (I’m noticing this pattern with Feyre for some reason, why does this woman keep writing Feyre as “wanting” her assaulter in the moment in which she is/was getting assaulted???).

The only thing I liked about this scene is that Tamlin was rightfully called out for his behavior. Feyre made no excuses for him, and he had to apologize. Loved that. Even Lucien gives him flack for it which is more than anyone has ever given Dark Daddy Rhys. Curious to hear your thoughts.

Oh nonny, you have opened the flood gates, because boy do I have FEELINGS about the Calanmai scene.

To start with, I've always had mixed feelings about it, mainly due to what you already said, but then I read this post by @longsightmythyth and it complicated things even more for me.

I feel like, to analyze the Calanmai scene, we need to be mindful of multiple things:

1- what the text explicitly says about Calanmai

2- Tamlin and Feyre's reactions during and after the Calanmai scene

3- that this scene, regardless of how we feel about it, was intended by Sarah to be a red flag

So first, let's review what is established about Calanmai per canon.

“We do this by conducting the Great Rite. Each of the seven High Lords of Prythian performs this every year, since their magic comes from the earth and returns to it at the end—it’s a give-and-take.”

“Tonight, Tam will allow … great and terrible magic to enter his body,” Lucien said, staring at the distant fires. “The magic will seize control of his mind, his body, his soul, and turn him into the Hunter. It will fill him with his sole purpose: to find the Maiden. From their coupling, magic will be released and spread to the earth, where it will regenerate life for the year to come.” My face became hot, and I fought the urge to fidget. “Tonight, Tam won’t be the faerie you know,” Lucien said. “He won’t even know his name. The magic will consume everything in him but that one basic command—and need.”

“You’re lucky I found you when I did, though,” he said. “Because he would have smelled you, and claimed you, but it wouldn’t have been Tamlin who brought you into that cave.”

It made me sick—the thought of Tamlin forcing me, that magic could strip away any sense of self, of right or wrong.

These are all from ACOTAR, chapter 21.

To recap: all seven High Lords are SUPPOSED to do Calanmai (but Sarah promptly forgets this piece of worldbuilding when ACOMAF rolls around <insert angry rant about retcons here>). The magic enters and takes control of the High Lord's body, apparently overpowering the Lord's consciousness and forcing the Lord to have sex with someone it's the rapey vibes for meeeeeeeee to generate enough magic to rejuvenate the land, because, as I discussed in this post, we are told that High Lord isn't just a title--it involves a deep, psychic connection to the court itself, which is why Feyre's title as High Lady is an empty title. Calanmai involves possession by a foreign entity, as you said. This brings up all kinds of ethical questions about consent, because... what if the High Lord doesn't want to do it? Being possessed and forced to have sex is WILDLY violating at the BEST of times. This is also why it bothers me when, in ACOWAR, Tamlin is vilified for not wanting to do Calanmai. It's still wrong that Lucien had to do it and was raped by Ianthe, mind you, but should Tamlin have been forced to have sex he didn't want to have? Should he? Calanmai is very icky all around, and for a series claiming to be about abuse and SA and mental health and whatnot, it's downright disgusting.

At any rate... so Calanami consists of a High Lord being possessed and made to have sex with someone. Prior to Calanmai occurring, and knowing that, whilst controlled by magic, he would likely have sex with her, Tamlin specifically tells Feyre he does not want to interact with her during Calanmai and he tells her to stay away from him.

“And I’m not invited to your ceremony?” “No. You’re not.” He clenched and loosened his fingers, again and again, as if trying to keep the claws contained. (ACOTAR Chapter 19)

“Just do it.” His canines began to lengthen. My heart leaped into a gallop. “Don’t come out until morning.” ... He lifted a hand as if to touch my arm. But he lowered it before his fingers could graze the fabric of my tunic. “Stay in your chamber, Feyre.” “But I—” “Please.” (ACOTAR Chapter 20)

So Tamlin DOES NOT CONSENT TO NOR DOES HE WANT the infamous Calanmai scene to occur, contrary to popular belief. Although he's too embarrassed to explicitly state what occurs on Calanmai (given he's starting to grow feelings for Feyre at this point in the book), he still sets a clear boundary with Feyre that he asks her not to cross. Meanwhile, prior to the Calanmai scene, Feyre is upset that she's not invited to the ceremony, before ultimately going anyway. Because screw boundaries, I guess. Feyre is found by Rhysand+Lucien, given full details about Calanmai in chapter 21, and then heads back to her room.

Right after the ceremony is over, Feyre, jealous that Tamlin had sex with someone else, leaves her room again to get food. This time, the violation of Tamlin's boundary--stay away from me until morning--is UNINTENTIONAL, because although she is jealous, she doesn't leave for the express purpose of finding Tamlin and joining in on the fun like she did originally. She just wants a cookie. And then the Calanmai scene actually happens. The real question, of who's "at fault" for Calanmai, and whether or not it counts as a red flag, truly depends on whether or not Tamlin was possessed at the time. Tumblr won't allow me to copy and paste the whole thing into this post (or a separate one, for that matter) so I recommend opening ACOTAR Chapter 21 and rereading the entire scene in its entirety, because there were a few lines from this scene that I thought were important:

"His voice was not entirely of this world."

"He reeked of magic. When I looked into his eyes, remnants of power flickered there. No kindness, none of the wry humor and gentle reprimands. The Tamlin I knew was gone."

"Still riding the magic, he was half-wild."

Based on these lines of text, and Tamlin's instructions to remain in her room until morning, specifically, and not until after the ceremony, it seems that it takes the magic several hours to fully leave its host's body, and that Tamlin was still possessed somewhat when this scene occurred. So I disagree with you slightly, anon--Tamlin isn't biting Feyre to teach her a lesson or be spiteful. If I am reading this scene correctly, it appears that Tamlin is attempting to wrestle back control of his body from the magic, and that he only succeeds in doing so at the end of the scene, which is when he pulls away. Aside from the very end, it seems safe to say that Tamlin is still possessed at this point in time. (Hence, Feyre's narration saying "the Tamlin I knew was gone.") Afterwards, Tamlin is upset because he did not consent to that occurring whilst he was possessed, nor did he want that to occur.

“I bit her,” Tamlin said, not pausing as he cut his steak. “We ran into each other in the hall after the Rite.” I straightened in my chair. “She seems to have a death wish,” he went on, cutting his meat. The claws stayed retracted but pushed against the skin above his knuckles. My throat closed up. Oh, he was mad—furious at my foolishness for leaving my room—but somehow managed to keep his anger on a tight, tight leash. “So, if Feyre can’t be bothered to listen to orders, then I can’t be held accountable for the consequences.” ... “While I might not have been myself, Lucien and I both told you to stay in your room,” Tamlin said, so calmly that I wanted to rip out my hair (ACOTAR Chapter 22)

That being said, I still think this is a very rude thing to say, boundaries crossed or not, and I'm glad he apologized. @longsightmyth, who wrote the Calanmai post I mentioned earlier, argues that this scene is correctly interpreted as Feyre taking advantage of Tamlin, given the text is clear he's still possessed during the scene ("the Tamlin I knew was gone"), and given his lack of consent, along with taking steps to keep Feyre away from him. I respectfully disagree, though. To me, this scene reads like them BOTH being taken advantage of. While we can argue about the stupidity of Feyre leaving her room all day, Feyre clearly did not want to get bitten and was quite upset about it later on, and Tamlin did not want Feyre to interact with him, revoked his consent for her doing so, and took steps to keep her away from him. They're both being taken advantage of here--but not by each other, by magic. This whole scene is quite literally the fault of the magic possessing Tamlin.

And for this reason, I can't say I view this scene as a red flag or an indictment of Tamlin's character. Tamlin has other red flags, as I elaborated on in this and this post, but now that I've spent several days thinking everything over so that I could answer you, anon, I don't think Calanmai counts as one of those red flags. While it's clear this is Sarah attempting to parallel a drunk man sexually assaulting a woman, this isn't that--it's straight up possession, being forced by an outside entity to act a certain way. And there's no real world parallel for possession, regardless of what Sarah thinks.

That, too, explains why I think this series fails to properly discuss abuse as a theme. It is very hard to apply real-world morals about red flags and abuse to a fantasy series where your magic explodes out of you when you get emotional and when the magic possesses you once a year and makes you have sex. You just... can't.

At any rate, I hope this answer was satisfying, nonny! And I'm sorry this took so long for me to answer. I hope the length of my response made up for it :)

#ask #anon #acotar #calanmai #ig thats a tag now #acotar analysis #acotar quotes #tamlin #feyre archeron #it's the perpetuation of rape culture for meeeee

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masonscig · 1 year

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what didnt you like about m’s route? to me this book’s plot was weaker than the other ones but i still really enjoyed a and m’s romances

so, disclaimer, please! do not take any of my opinions are yours being wrong! if i say i don't like something, you're not wrong for finding personal enjoyment in it! i'm being so genuine when i say i hope you had a great experience playing b3 <3

these are fresh out the oven of my mushy fucking brain bc i spent a long time reading it yesterday and passed out for 11 hrs after pushing end book

another disclaimer, i didn't read all the routes (still haven't)! it'll take me a while to get through it, so this is solely m opinions + opinions on the general plot

so, some of it is personal opinions because i have an idea for how i want my oc's relationship with mason to go, and some of it is how i feel about the route and how some parts don't quite fit m's route that well (imo). i've discussed this in depth with a few m-loving friends of mine and we agreed on some aspects that i'll lay out below:

firstly, i think that some of the romantic moments don't flow with the story – they feel out of place because the plot is so heavy (kidnapping! trafficking! it's a fucking lot)! the options to have sex are so jarring because isn't the mc traumatized? from both book 1 and 2, and the current situation they're in with kidnappings that have terrorized the community? the mc still hasn't had time to unpack a lot of their feelings and resolve issues that have just Been There For Multiple Books Now.

the romance should've taken a backseat overall imo, because both mc and m are dealing with so many heavy feelings. and the romance is there! like, a big theme with m is physicality without emotionality and the mc being the first time they've thought about more. both mc and m should've been afforded the time and the opportunity to work it out on their own AND together! there's so much they could've worked through and discussed! like... having discussions and healing is romantic relationship development yk?

a huge issue too for me is the very very very very VERY jarring and out of left field moment from m a the auction where m makes a very out of place sex joke. m would absolutely never ever ever respond that way. you're telling me m has spent the entire book internally battling feelings they don't understand, and freaking out over the mere idea of the mc being taken away from them, and their worst fear is coming true, bc the mc is literally trapped – and? they're going to make a crude sex joke? this is the ro that was quite literally, chapters before, freaking out when the ceiling fell on the mc and no questions asked, sensory nightmare be damed, stood inside the shower and platonically held onto the mc so that they could wash off? and you're telling me he's going to make a joke? it's so out of character it hurts.

i'm a huge fan of hurt/comfort, but the sex scene at the end is so misplaced – you'd think that this would've been the book where mc just. doesn't get the chance to sleep with m because they're having so many complicated feelings – and they're terrified of losing mc! it would've been so much more true to m's character that way i think. i really truly feel like this book, m has grown so much already that even if they can't recognize what their feelings exactly are, they can recognize that stepping back is a good choice for both m and the detective.

tonally, a lot of the romance is just off – i know that romance can be lighthearted (we've seen it in canon), but book 3 is just not! so many things are happening, and lots of those things are difficult for mc to process emotionally – especially the guilt that mc can feel over "being the reason kids are being kidnapped". i feel like a lot of what m-lovers enjoy about their route is the non-forced romantic aspects. there's so much that m does that makes my heart flutter without them being intentional about it – and i feel like in some places this book was lacking a lot of that unintentional stuff i've loved. and the intentional stuff... at times felt very out of place.

and also, i think that a lot of what i envision for sofía and mason just doesn't quite mesh as well as i'd want it to! i thought i had a few more points here, but honestly my brain is still mush and this is a long response and i think my brain is forcing me to tap out LMAO (these aren't all my thoughts, just a few i've been mulling over and discussing w friends today) maybe if you ask me again later i'll flesh that out more

it's less about what m does tbh for me it's more about the developmental moments feeling more forced, and way less organic than the ones in book 1 and 2 – and early book 3! for the record, there's so much i love about m's route – i just think some of it could've been better.

#asks #again – don't let my opinions sway you and i don't dislike m's route – just aspects of it #i very much loved the antique shop date. and the shower scene. and the research scene (FAV)#and a lot of m's introspection or conversations w/ ub about the det. was great too!#overall i did like it!#don't snipe me for this ask !!!! my anon will stay on and i WILL block you if you're mean to me #and i will make fun of you privately to my friends <3 #twc book 3 #twc book 3 spoilers #twc spoilers

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widowshill · 6 months

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2, 7, 11 !! multimuse meme

20 QUESTIONS FOR MULTI-MUSE BLOGS.

2. which muse is most likely to go to jail?

eleanor, nathan, and vicki have all been to jail, with mostly good reason. in normal circumstances, nathan and eleanor are great at avoiding actually going; eleanor actually went quite a long time without any legal repercussions whatsoever for being a pirate trade boss lmao. vicki on the other hand has been multiple times and hanged repeatedly ( not really her fault ) for the same crime, so she's the somewhat surprising choice for the most likely to return, because the girl just can't seem to help incriminating herself for witchcraft. </3 if it weren't for the collins name & his sister and her lawyers protecting him, it'd definitely be roger, because the man can't stop being suspicious around the police and talking to them / bothering them for literally no reason. but alas. he is safe ! to the woe of every collinsport pedestrian.

7. which muse would you most like to meet irl?

elizabeth. i would kiss the ground she walks on what a woman. let me join her harem of admirers that would commit crimes for her.

11. which muses are cat people? which are dog people?

cat: elizabeth, lena, gore

dog: vicki, josette, nathan, eleanor

roger is sort of in-between, he's more cat-like himself, but I think he would prefer a dog because of their faultless fidelity /obedience / attention, which he craves but rarely deserves. he'd be happy with either though.

#feels like that pool meme on this blog.#there's liz rog and vic. and then josette and nathan. and then everyone else on the bottom of the pool. :/ sorry guys #you know i think roger might have actually spent a night at the station. but that doesn't count rlly.#forevermuses #➤ meme responses. ┊ boo !#➤ answered. ┊ collinsport 4099.

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ltcolonelcarter · 1 year

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Fanfic Writer asks:

1) Who is your favorite character to write for and is this the character you find easiest to write for?

7) How do you edit your fics? What do you look for in your edits?

14) What is something you wrote in a fic that you are hoping readers picked up on but you don't know if they did? And/or, what is something that you were excited that readers did pick up on?

16) Do you have a method for getting characters to sound/feel in character?

20) What is your favorite thing about writing fanfic? What about writing in general?

Sending 💋💋💋

send me a fanfic ask

come here IMMEDIATELY and let me love you

I've answered 1 & 7 over hereeeee. technically done 14 already but i have a bonus just because it's you

but also for 7. the true answer is "with spite and impatience", because i truly TRULY hate some parts of editing. i usually have to take a LOT of breaks and go over it in a new context/with fresh eyes.

16. UGH does banging my head against my word processor until the Vibe is right count? that's what it feels like, sometimes.

depends on the character, to be honest. sometimes it's about identifying helpful word choices/patterns of speech that will indicate/remind you of the character without much effort (see hank: "fuckin' androids"; you probably read that in his voice), or about signposting typical behaviours that allow you to "see" them very easily (see: sixty and smirking; the action is tangible). for others it's about feeling who they are as a person. working with OCs is very different to canonical characters, naturally. quite often I'll try and use a scene/"in" point that's similar to a canon one so give me a guide for speech/behaviour, and build naturally from there. like slipping into an accent, I guess. hard to describe. after the initial writing, it's editing word choice to death until i can HEAR and SEE them properly. and a lot of yelling in betweeeeeeen

20. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ASHFJHKAJSHJA oh my GOD. i lvoe the technical challenge. I love SEEING a world or a scene or a person or a place so vividly and having to find the right words to communicate it to someone else. I love that moment when someone reads something you wrote and tells you EXACTLY what you meant to convey but in their own words, as if you transplanted the idea from your mind right into theirs.

I love figuring out new characters, who they are, and how I want them to grow. I love putting them in Situations and watching them try and fail and succeed to feel and manage their emotions. I love making them REACT to each other. I love taking the smallest part of an idea and building it into something bigger. i fucking love hiding details and small ideas inside a larger fic, whether others find them or not. I love that moment in planning when the small details line up with the big ones, where the theme unintentionally (or otherwise) parallels itself. I love analysing my own planning and writing to DEATH so I can fit as much as possible into it.

i love the escapism. I love feeling everything vicariously. i just really, really fucking love writing, okay.

bonus:

14. I've technically done this one, but I try and hide multiple bits and pieces in fics, so I have another oneeeeee, this one's in a question of time again, but it's less to do with the fic itself and it's what I did with the chapter titles (hidden under the cut for 😏 length):

so I started with just like... a small set of physics jokes, to sort of play into the "accident of physics" time loop thing. it works nicely! it matches my vibeeee and I love it. a quick breakdown of the physics, without much science bc who has the time, really:

path divergence comes from path difference, which describes the distance 2 waves travel to get to the same point. thematically relevant for connor and sixty, whose paths are very different but related. will have relevance for the finale.

parallax is a type of error that crops up because of an observer's line of sight. put your thumb up in front of you face, an arm's length away. close one eye. now swap eyes. see how your thumb looks like it's shifted sideways? that's parallax. something something same thing from different perspectives and it's relevance to connor and sixty

supersymmetry is just me poking fun at physics and physicists. do you believe in a symmetrical universe? SHOULD we have matching sets of particles? I sure as shit don't know. the relevance of this is that in supersymmetry, every particle we know about would have an analogue. they always come in pairs.

interferometry is a method of measuring Stuff based on the interference pattern of two waves. again, sixty and connor as interfering with each other, and the wave pattern giving us something to think about. also just bc, depending on perspective... connor and sixty are literally just interfering in one another's business.

here's where we get interesting.

I wanted a slow slide in theme from physics (time loop! interesting cosmic accident!) to technology. interferometry marks the tipping point bc it's a measurement technique - based in science, sure, but it's tech. onwards:

logic error - there is a fault in the structure of the program. it probably won't crash, but it also won't work correctly. eheheheh. this is where we start getting FUN.

fragmentation - an experimental chapter, for sure, but I knew from the get-go I wanted something achronological for Funsies and also for the technical challenge, bc I'm an idiot. I wrote the chapter in fragments, so the name (and reference to data, especially memory data, being fragmented and saved/accessed in random order) seemed to fall out naturally.

random access memory is volatile, temporary, and easily lost, and doesn't that just feel appropriate for sixty, at this, his tipping point? i'm hoping there's a dimension added to this with [redacted] in ch 8; we'll see. regardless, I wanted that strong vibe of if you die, you lose this, for sixty in this chapter. he's in a race against being reset.

and no, I'm not telling you the title for chapter 8, except to say: it follows the theme, it references the time loop specifically, and I've had it planned since I wrote and published chapter 2. I'm laughing evilly.

#ask meme #cerberusdreams #KISSING YOUR ENTIRE FACE #these ones sent me a little manic actually.#need a minute after talking about loving writing #I LOVE IT SO MUCH #asks #fic stuff

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crownedspectre · 10 months

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SO Mortis has gone on record multiple times saying this game does not have any one meaning...I know one popular fan theory is that Hugo is very ill and the switch is meant to signify the choice to be taken off of life support and accept death.

To be quite honest, I've never truly cared for this reading of the game and ones similar to it. Not to say they are bad by any means!! I just find the explanations given to be too literal for my tastes, it ignores the significance of the player within the story, and what would Judge's choice mean in that instance? If you are terminally ill, you can not choose to simply not die. You can choose to endure suffering sure but...The Judge is shown to be a sympathetic character, while the Batter is firmly framed as an antagonist in the latter half of the story. I don't think the choice to be taken off life support when you're chronically ill is bad or evil. If anything The Judge's choice seems crueler to me with that reading in mind! My interpretation of the game is within the same spirit, but the stakes are a little less dire than death. To me, this game is about escapism. Toxic escapism...and the choice to either give up and retreat inward or stay present even when it feels like "nothing is left". I have a few key points to support this reading.

1. “Vincit Qui Se Vincit”

This is what Zacharie says right before you fight The Queen. The full saying translates to “He who prevails over himself is twice victorious” It means that “a person who overcomes his weaknesses or failings, who is able to control his emotions and actions, wins life's most important battle.” I think Zacharie is talking to You here, the player. He is urging you to look inward…to question what Batter represents to you. Thus far, even though you and the Batter have moved as one, there has always been a disconnect due to your limited scope as a being outside the realm of the game, and it’s only grown as you’ve progressed. I am no longer a God, but a passenger at the whims of a narrative, one that has begun to sicken me. This now feels more like Batter's mission than mine, and Zacharie foreshadows that the only way to truly win is to get a handle on this rogue part of ourselves. (This will make more sense when I explain what I feel The Batter is meant to represent, but keep it in mind for now.)

2. Sucre's Dialogue

The short conversation before you fight Sucre is really illuminating to me. The first line especially.

"Ignoring why things are so frightening" is the entire purpose of an escapist fantasy. The goal is to endure a painful reality as little as possible. In fact, this has been a theme throughout the entire game, particularly prevalent among the elsen who are more than once seen avoiding aspects of their reality that cause them to feel what they consider to be, unpleasant emotions. (Death in this world is also synonymous with an escape from pain.)

3. Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

The Judy Garland version of this song famously features in The Wizard of Oz and it's sung by Dorothy, who is tired of the mundanity of her average farm life and is hoping to somehow be able to get away from it all...

"Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh, why can't I?"

I think Hugo is implied to have had a rough upbringing for sure, and I do feel a large part of the game is suggested to take place in his head, although I tend to favor a reading that's even MORE abstract and just say that Hugo himself represents a child's imagination and innocence. The world of OFF to me represents a child's perception of the outside world before it has been disillusioned. It was bright, colorful, and safe, but then ~something~ happened that changed that. Life happened. Suddenly, the rose-tinted glasses start cracking. That's when the neurosis sets in, the guardians start losing their grip, the spectres arrive to throw everything into chaos...and then eventually comes The Batter, who to me, symbolizes a complete rejection and subsequent destruction of a world that once brought you comfort. When you have been mistreated, your hatred and apathy DO feel righteous. At his core he is nihilism personified...and once he destroys your inner child the only thing that's left is to give up on everything. This is what Zacharie was trying to open your eyes to, and that is why The Judge's ending is so profound to me.

The Batter's decision is immediately appealing. Sunk Cost fallacy. We’ve already made it this far…the world is a shell of what it once was. Why keep going when there is nothing left in sight to fight for? But The Judge argues that simply existing is better than turning your back on it all. Why? Sugar says it best in her dialogue, “Think of something beautiful really hard, and maybe you will see it tomorrow.” As long as we push forward, we can have hope. And hope is what I felt, watching the end credits after completing The Judge's ending and seeing him walk through the barren landscape alone. Hope, that one day something new could take its place.

This reading to me equalizes both end-game decisions in my mind. I don’t think either one is “wrong” necessarily, just different reactions to trauma that you could have.

And what about You? The player? Well.

It is impossible for me to ignore that we are a character in this story too, we are addressed by name!! and when you take the obvious religious themes to their logical conclusion, you are likened the most to a god. That's why I believe that the world of OFF is meant to be....yours.

You're the one who's hurting. Hugo is YOUR sick inner child. It's why you're the one who's overseeing the destruction of everything through Batter. You want this just as much as it is his nature to provide it as a self-destructive Part of you!

(Him talking about himself here ^ )

It's also the reason why you're the only one who can stop him at the end and The Judge couldn't do it without you (even though he has a move that can kill batter in like 3 hits when you play as him.) The choice to kill off parts of yourself that no longer serve you is the only one that you can make.

SO BASICALLY, TLDR...

The zones are different sectors of your own inner landscape and Batter is a self-destructive part of your brain that earnestly masquerades as a protector since he believes the best way to protect you from a painful reality is to cut you off from it.

Hugo isn't immediately accessible until you destroy everything else because he is your heavily repressed inner child. Once he's gone however, you can make the final decision to retreat inward and disconnect from the outside world completely. Making the decision to not pull the lever means that even though life has been painful to you, you opt to continue to stay present in the hope that things will get better someday...somewhere over the rainbow.

When I pulled that lever in the last moments, I didn't grieve for Hugo, I grieved for myself. It felt deeply personal to me the first time I played OFF 8 years ago, and it still did on my latest playthrough.

I do believe this game and its messages are important however you chose to interpret them, although I figured this post was in order because this is the "canon" I operate from and what I will depict in my art and posts.

#theorum #I do have thoughts about how stuff I didn't explicitly mention here fits into this interpretation too but this is like. the gist of it

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