I saw a post asking if younger people these days just... Didn't do the crazy ass shit people around 40 and up did and like.

Well I am pretty sure you all do.

But it made me think about my own ridiculousness of youth. It all felt very normal and natural but my shenanigans included learning cartomancy and then reading other people's plays during games of gin rummy. For kicks.

It only sounds silly because i tell it that way. If i told it as it occured it would sound like a natural evolution from someone who jaut finds fortune telling techniques kinda neat and was interested in psychology.

I had a dream about this scenario last night and I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this. Aaron’s fiancé is currently in law school but she mostly has done everything online. Recently she’s had to start attending classes and her teacher has been making her extremely uncomfortable. He got access to her phone number and texts her all hours of the night. Leaves notes on her assignments asking her to dinner etc. she doesn’t want to worry Aaron cause he has so much on his plate anyway so she ask Morgan to go have a talk with the teacher to scare him off. But it turns into more of an obsession and Aaron has to get involved.

holy shit you literally had a full on movie going on in that dream and it's literal perfection cw; creepy guy yuck

it starts out with lingering stares. the prof's gaze would remain on you far too long, even after you finished speaking if you were to talk aloud, and another student was adding their input. you brush it off, tell yourself you're probably overreacting, but without fail, there's always that sickening feeling pooling in your stomach.

at first, you're seated in the front - you've always been that kind of student - better access to the board, quick to ask questions, etc., just very involved in class. but as you're seated in the front, you catch him staring at your legs, he moves closer to you during the lecture, not so subtly glancing at your chest, calls on you even if your hand isn't raised.

the more uncomfortable you get, you talk less, rarely participate, you choose to sit in the back, and that's when he starts leaving notes on your assignments - telling you how attractive you are, how you're the most extraordinary student he's had, asking you to coffee or dinner. you try your hardest to ignore it, telling yourself you just need to get through the semester. you even went to your academic advisor to see if you could potentially drop the class, but it's a needed credit. and at this point, you're already a bit into the semester, so you might as well finish it off. not only is it all incredibly disgusting, it's disheartening too. you were so looking forward to attending in-person classes after being strictly online, and now you wish you would've stuck to that.

aaron, of course, is quick to notice a change too. you don't talk about the class over dinner like you used to, ask for his expertise when it comes to difficult assignments. you're quick to change the subject if it's brought up - you honestly avoid the topic altogether. aaron knows something's going on, he provides his support in different ways to show he's there for you - making you your coffee in the morning, packing you a lunch, leaving a note with it. (omg imagine the professor finding aaron's note to you - it accidentally slipped out of your bag and he's just outraged 🫢)

when you go to morgan, shock and disgust covers his face and he starts rattling off questions - how long has this been going on, have you reported him, have you told aaron?!?!?!!? and when you tell him no, tears are just rolling down your cheeks - and it's actually the first you've cried over this whole situation, you've been holding up a strong front until now. :(( derek pulls you into a tight hug, tells you he'll do what he can, and also strongly encourages you to tell aaron. he's all, "he's your man, he'll want to know" 🥺

and ohhh when aaron finds out - furious is an understatement. you tell him the whole story from the beginning, you show him the notes that the prof has left you, and he's immediately in protective mode. and despite how upset he is, he's still so gentle and he feels so bad you've been going through this, alone at that :(((( his voice is all soft as he brushes your tears away, "sweetheart 🥺 you could've told me" and pulls you safely into his arms. you explain how you figured you'd just suck it up, didn't want to bother him, and aaron just gently shushes you, tells you okay, he understands, but please never hesitate to come to him if there's something going on :(

aaron then tells you that he's going to put a stop to this, he'll make sure of it. he calls the school, sends a Very Scary and Very FBI letter. and that prof gets fired yay!!!! and actaully, he does have a criminal record of stalking and being a creep. but with that new free time 🫢 that only means he has more time to look into you ...

With Good Intentions (Chapter One) (Updated) ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Masterlist A03

"Hell is full of good meanings, but heaven is full of good works."

➥pairings: MC & Everyone ➥content warnings: not beta-read. We cook our stories like Solomon. Hurt/comfort with some humor. Using alcohol and food as coping mechanisms. Curse language. Mild violence. Mentions of suicide. Panic attacks. The brothers are kinda assholes in this story. And so is MC. Also, Diavolo is kind of suspect and so is Barbatos. ➥summary: after the events of Chapter 16, the brothers and Diavolo are forced to deal with the inevitable fallback of their actions towards MC, all while attempting to help them through their growing existential breakdown Or... what would happen if the MC didn't "serve as a bridge" for the brothers after lesson 16? How would their relationships change? And how would the brothers navigate their emotions without the MC's help? A/N: holy shit guys, when I say this story took forever, it took FOREVER. I had this idea in my head since early 2022, but due to some personal issues, it never came to light until now. I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know how you feel about it in the notes. As always, take care.

Before all else, you were just your average, regular, no-name human. A statement in which you were fine, just perfectly fine, with admitting to.

You liked decorative mugs with cute animals on them. You were consistently outraged by the rising cost of food. You gave unwarranted opinions on topics that you knew little to nothing about. More importantly, you were wonderfully oblivious to your stake in the status quo, pursuing life as you pleased, unbound by fate or duty. On a flying rock in the middle of nowhere filled with billions of people, there shouldn’t be anything special about you. Until it was.

You sat there, peering out from yourself into a world that wasn’t quite yours. At loved ones that only mimicked those you’d left behind. You would’ve objected to all of this, the food, the drinks, the general merriment, if only you weren’t so tired, being dragged along without qualm into the common room to indulge in this nonsense. The celebration had only started, yet it felt as if you were trapped in time, watching the same scene for eons.

With great fanfare your death and all ones committed or attempted thereafter, were made completely inconsequential, the existential implications of one’s life being erased with the snap of a finger rendered irrelevant at the pop of a cork and the fizz of white champagne. One of the brothers spoke to you. Honestly, it was hard to tell which one. Everything was too bright, too loud. Some nonsense about wanting a muffin or other. You’d replied, yet were unsure of your words, as no part of you, not even your voice, felt like it belonged in this space.

Right, well, sure watching your mangled corpse be tossed down the stairs like a leaking bag of garbage to be disposed of might be traumatizing for the next person…no, forget trying to rationalize it. This was definitely traumatizing.

And this feeling. It was like dying all over again, slowly with each breath, but there was no urgency, no threat to twist and break your neck, no end to this "pseudo-death." It was your body who turned against you, a painful ache that gnawed itself from the depths of your stomach and came ripping, screaming, up, up, until the only thing that held it back was the clenching of your eyes. You sat with it. Struggled with it. Wondered if anyone noticed. But when you finally opened your eyes again, the same scene remained: a family—nearly ripped apart from centuries of pain, anger and regret—were laughing like it never happened. And you—still wallowing in what only lasted a few moments—were losing it.

You tried to steady your breaths. Tried enjoying the warmness of your tea. Distracted yourself with cookies, and cupcakes, and stories of failed schemes and embarrassing “childhood” photos. Maybe with time, you would learn to accept what seemingly couldn't be changed. Like with Belphegor, who nuzzled himself into the crook of your arm, dawning a face that made you realize, though with slight disgust, why it was easy to baby him. In time, you’d look back at this day, laughing away fear for awkwardness. In time, you’d find a way to raise your hand without clenching it into a fist to stroke the top of his head. But that time would only come once you allowed yourself to accept it all. This shitty prize, whether you wanted it or not, was yours. You were their family now, forever. Always in sight. Always fretted over. Always followed. The beginning, middle, and unforeseen end to the lives of the seven strongest rulers of hell. What good would it do to run ruin such splendor with your finite problems? For now, you should be happy. For now, you should be grateful. For now, you should breathe, relax, and just—

“Hahaha. There must have been so many things you’ve all wanted to do for Lilith over the years.”

“I’m not Lilith you insensitive asshole.”

The silence wasn’t sudden, because at first, it was hard to believe you’d said it. Like a misheard lyric in a song, everyone’s mind halted, replayed, then with clarity, lost it. Mammon and Leviathan gasped. Satan dropped his fork. Asmodeus covered his mouth. Belphegor winced. And Beelzebub, who never stopped eating, stopped eating. Even the flames from the fireplace seemed to dim slightly as if all the collective oxygen of this now incredibly warm, incredibly small room was sucked in and held. And as you stood there, fists clenched and teeth so tight they could crack brick, did you realize…

Oh.

Shit.

I could’ve sworn I said that to myself.

You waited, expecting a certain demon’s voice to rumble up from the quiet and reprimand you, yet Lucifer, like the rest of his brothers, did not speak, his mouth tight and twisted in not quite anger, not quite shock. Instead, he turned, with all the caution of a startled dog, towards Diavolo.

“I believe there’s been some miscommunication on my part,” Diavolo spoke. For a man that was just insulted to his face, he remained a bit too relaxed. “It was not my intention to offend you.”

"That's not the point!" You yelled again.

So what was the point? At the very back of your mind, beyond all the anger and anxiety, a thought struggled to form. It might’ve been inadvertent, yet your comment wasn't exactly misdirected. You didn't care being compared to Lilith, yet it wasn't what upset you. No, it was more complicated than that. Diavolo was unmoved, the shadows from the fireplace deepening the lines of his face, the mass of his body appearing larger in the dimness.

In the corner of your vision, a hand reached for you. "Hey, cool it, will ya?" Mammon urged, placing it upon your shoulder. "Everyone here knows you ain't Lilith."

You shook your head, hoping it would rearrange your scattered thoughts. "It's not about her."

"Eh? Whad'ya mean it's not about her? Didn't you just--"

"I know, I know!" You stamped down your foot. "It's before. Before the past. There were all of you. And Diavolo said...he said I had to come here, so I did and Barbatos took me to the door and...he took me to the door and..."

And there, like all fools who learned too late, did it dawn on you.

“Did you plan for Belphegor to kill me?” you asked.

Diavolo blinked. “Pardon?”

“Did. You. Plan. For. Belphegor. To. Kill. Me?” You pulled yourself from Mammon and stepped forward. “When you made me go to the past to check who let Belphegor out of the attic. Did you,” you gulped back a sob, “did you know I’d be in danger?”

Diavolo paused, and you envisioned the winding gears struggling behind his eyes. “I understand that the last few hours have been hectic for you," he said," perhaps it better if we continue this at another time?"

“I asked you a question.” Your voice rumbled, unsteady by the weight of your chest.

"And I heard it. Unfortunately," his smile was slight, "I feel no need to answer it."

"No need?" You weren’t sure whether to laugh or grab the nearest object and beat him with it. "Am I not worth an answer? The person you dragged down here and had killed isn't worth an answer?"

"I'm sorry, but I will no longer discuss this matter here." It wasn't long ago when Diavolo told you he could never lie, yet it seemed withholding the truth was another thing. You quickened your mouth to speak, yet Barbatos was far quicker.

“I believe the Young Master has spoken," Barbatos said, stepping into your view. “Regardless of what offense you believe occurred, I must ask that you refrain from continuing this outburst.”

“Or what?" You jabbed your finger into Barbatos's chest. "Will you tie me up in vines and drag me down to the dungeons?”

"Nothing of the sort," he said, brushing your hand away. "Yet your behavior is unbecoming, and furthermore, lacking in respect."

"Respect?" Your laugh was pained. "What do any of you know about respect? You think because you’re royalty you can just say and do what you want?” You swept your arm across the entire room. “You think you all can just say and do what you want and afterward just…fucking eat cake like it never happened? Huh?”

Some part of you expected them to act, to do anything other than sit there with those insipid looks on their faces. In some, like Satan, you could see the very bubbles of reflection beginning to float to the surface of their consciousness, eyes sharpened and red with stinging hindsight. Yet there were others like Leviathan, head tilted toward the ground as if contemplating burrowing himself beneath it. It only made you want to fill the room with your voice. Until it rang the walls of the House of Lamentation. Until it echoed out into the night. Until the entire Devildom could hear you screaming, “Say something you selfish bastards.”

“Oi, that’s enough,” Mammon called to you. “Let’s just calm down before we get ourselves into something we can’t get out of, yeah?”

“Mammon’s right,” Asmodeus said, yet not before peering toward Lucifer. “Just…forget about the party, ok? Go relax in your room.”

"With all due respect, that isn't your decision to make, Asmodeus." Barbatos turned to Diavolo. "Young Master?"

Everyone looked to Diavolo, his face pensive. It was insulting, really. That after all was said and done, now was the time that he considered your well-being. "I believe it best," Diavolo spoke, "that you listen to Mammon and Asmodeus."

You scoffed, face wet and heated. You'd gone a bit past the point of common sense. If this ended in your punishment, then so be it. Until then, you would not move. Not until you got your answer. Not until he and Barbatos admitted what they did. Not until--

"Enough of this, please." Lucifer was not the type to plead, something you, and everyone else for that matter, responded with various expressions of disbelief. "This was supposed to be..." he clutched his breaths as if catching himself from slipping into someone less than his title suggested. “Let’s not continue this further.”

It was the softest you've ever heard him speak, and the most tired he ever looked. The brother's confirmation of Lucifer’s words hung in the air, and with it, your bravado. You never expected them to get it. After all, how could beings that would never know the brush of death or time understand your feelings in this moment? Though you also never expected them to just…do nothing, either. It hurt you, in ways too tired to yell further.

You turned, silent, and moved. Into the halls and towards your room door, tossing it open before slamming it shut and locking yourself inside. Not that it ever kept anyone out. A great heaviness sat upon your shoulders, and you carried it towards your bed, allowing gravity to do the rest as you plopped face-first into your sheets.

Maybe I could suffocate myself in my sleep if I stayed this way? A grim thought. And, unlikely.

For a while, the only sounds were your own heartbeat and shallow breaths. Your room wasn’t far from the common room, so you supposed the shock from before hadn’t died yet.

Finally, with a voice carrying all the weight of a vagrant, Lucifer spoke, “Pardon me for stating the obvious but, I believe it best...that we all call it a night."

And no one, not even Satan, called him out on it.

only a hundred words i'm afraid x( but i really really love this passage and would love to get your commentary on it :D hope your holiday is off to a good start!

And amongst that, the three of them always meet for lunch every Friday at Kitty’s Café. The Captain makes sure to maintain his façade of careful neutrality when listening to Pat’s stories, not reacting to them with any more or less emotion than a good friend would. It’s a tough line to walk, but he manages it. 

It’s often not just a Pat thing. For example, it is important to him that he doesn’t let any of his friends know how humorous he finds them, except for the eponymous Kitty of Kitty’s Café, and that’s only sometimes, in his moments of weakness. 

Okay so! I know this is a short bit so I'm not going word for word or anything but I've somehow still got a lot of thoughts about it! apologies for what is definitely the most rambling and incoherent response i've ever achieved 😅😅

I think the thing here is that, in the same way that in the Ghosts Archive book the Captain reveals he thinks he has bad posture - this Captain thinks that he must have a very expressive face - it is something he realised as a teenager and tried his best to get rid of going into adulthood. And honestly, yeah he's right, people can tell when he's annoyed or bored quite easily - teachers would call him out on it in class, which is how he realises. It's not a problem as he grows up until he gets closer friends (ghosts gang whoop whoop) and Pat.

I feel like at some point in the past, the early days of their friendship, Pat told a story and the Captain let out an uncharacteristic 'my god, that's outrageous!' and it was so surprising to everyone that he saw them all exchange confused looks - he took it to be a negative thing, whereas they were all just like, 'woah hey, this guy can be expressive??'. I know I didn't mention the other ghosts in this fic but they are there and all friends - I'd hoped mentioning Kitty was enough to show that haha. Anyway later in the bathroom mirror at home and he imagines then studies his own face and thinks 'oh god, i look ridiculously enamoured, everyone must know'. and it's at that point that he knows he's gotta try harder to hide it (at this point Pat is still married and he doesn't want anyone's pity about being in love with a married man, and then Pat is getting divorced and he doesn't want anyone's judgement for being in love with a soon to be divorced man, it's all very complicated, and there's never a good time to admit anything to anyone).

and then whenever he puts on his neutral listening face, he's sitting there nodding and thinking 'i am getting a good grade in friend' etc until it becomes second nature to him after so many years.

it's also like. if he reacts to everyone with the same level of emotion (or lackthereof) then he can never be accused of favouring anyone. but also, they can all definitely see through him. they see the little smiles he does, they see how careful he is around Pat, they might not fully understand why, but they share looks and in the early years they talk about it behind his back (not in a bad way, just in a slightly concerned way) until they forget a bit too and becomes normal for them all.

And along with the being-in-love-with-Pat bit, you've also got that kind, fatherly side to Cap - which we also see when they're hanging out with Joanie's children over Christmas but yeah - that he doesn't want to show to his friends because he thinks it makes him vulnerable. man's not really got a father figure to speak of, so...

Not to be cringe but I actually based this small passage (and all the thoughts and feelings behind it) on specific people in my family and how we all interact - my mum, uncle and granny. they just. idk how to explain it. but the bit about not letting his friends know how funny he finds them is basically what i can only assume is going through my family's heads too. it feels like it's always a competition to be the funniest person in the room, but it can't be loud, outrageous humour. it's like a quiet, dry, clever wit and you've won the family gathering if you get a sensible chuckle out of everyone else who is otherwise pretending they don't find you funny. this makes it sound like i don't like them - they are the better side of the family and i love them so much. but yeah, i often base a lot of the Captain's family dynamics on my own because i think it fits well with his character in a modern au.

I also think in this fic (and all of my fics to be honest) the Captain spends a lot of time trying to make Pat laugh in a similar sort of way (a bit like he does in the show, a bit like my family does) and then quietly (proudly) smiling a little to himself, but only after checking that other people are laughing too so that he can pass it off as laughing at his own joke.

And then, obviously you've got Pat's perspective which is that they're best friends and they're very close and he's met his family and they love him and they have weekly lunches (with Humphrey but still) but the Captain always seems tense in a way he's always had to explain as anxiety or autism or something he can't understand and may never. Ironically the only times he doesn't seem that way are when they're alone together, because the Captain is thinking less about how he's being perceived, and he's able to relax and be more himself.

crikey that was a lot of words and i don't think that any of it actually makes sense haha! i hope that you got something from it though and if you want me to explain anything else more then i can definitely try!!

also my holiday was BRILLIANT thank you for asking!!

Fandom Saturday, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles

For many years, this was my favorite anime of all time. It was created by Clamp and uses a lot of the characters from Cardcaptor Sakura. It also shares Mokona, which I didn't realize was actually from Magic Knight Rayearth until @tuulikannel brought it up and I watched the slideshow with the opening. (Fucking brilliant!)

Tsubasa is a tale of a princess with a special power. A man who desires this power sets things into motion to obtain it for himself. Syaoran, whom I absolutely adore - he is in my man harem and such a squish, is in love with Princess Sakura and when her power is awakened, her memories in the form of feathers disappear into other worlds and dimensions across the universe. If I had known about fanfiction at this point, I can't tell you how many stories I had of them visiting other anime and stories already in existence to collect said feathers. I'd visit Bleach, I'd visit Shinzo, I'd visit Vampire Diaries and Percy Jackson and Star Ocean and Chrono Cross and Final Fantasy VII and whatever else I happened to be into at the time. (Definitely not Higurashi. I'm okay not being in that world. 😅) I'd spend so many hours just daydreaming, which is why it was my favorite.

Honestly, it probably spawned my love of isekais. Well, I'd already come up with the basis of Krystar which is also an isekai, so it just strongly reaffirmed it, I guess.

And on top of that, it's just so tragic. It's one of the few animes I watched because I actually started the manga first. And it took me a while to collect the manga, so I finished the anime in the meantime, hated where it left off like, right in the middle of everything without touching any of the cool parts of the story, and then finished the manga. I guess they didn't have enough funding? But the fans were so outraged by this, Clamp made 2 OVAs of the biggest moments in the manga to satisfy them.

Anyway, here's a funny story about me for you, inspired by Tsubasa. My husband, whom I refer to as Deo online for future reference, took me out on our second first date (story for another day) and called ahead to get a giant cookie prepared. He checked on it at the mall without my noticing and the lady said "I hope you like how the feather came out, but what's a Fakura?". Phones weren't that good in 2009. 😆 So she had to fix it to say "Sakura" and it was a feather with the words "You are my Sakura" surrounding it, because I always wanted to be the princess that Syaoran did everything in his power to save, even at the cost of what was most precious to him.

Which is why Syaoran is in my very selective man harem. To put it into perspective, Karma is on the honorable mention list and Nagisa didn't even make it onto a list, and anyone that knows me knows I love these two. And I know I say man harem, but it's really more of a Celeste situation from Danganronpa where I want a huge mansion with these dudes in it and unlike for Celeste, they don't need to be vampires or to cater to my every need, I just want them there. Forever. With me.

Anyway, off topic.

I love Syaoran. And Tsubasa has shaped a lot of my creativity drives. It taught me to think in different ways and to be aware of different cultures (like Thera!) and to consider the motivations people can have. For love, for hunger, for fear. And sure, Assassination Classroom may view Irina and Karasuma as Mommy and Daddy, but the original Mommy and Daddy to me was always Fai and Kurogane (who surprisingly looks a lot like Karasuma now that I think about it.) And the anime is filled with quirks and good feels and discovery and learning and growing and found family. It's just so beautiful…

AND THE MUSIC!!! I totally forgot to mention the music. *Facepalm. Maaya Sakamoto and Yuki Kajiura have such beautiful voices and so many of the songs in the anime were left on repeat for years in my music library and even though it's been over a decade, I still frequently listen to them to this day. Aikoi, I talk to the rain, Dream Scape, You are my love, Kaze no Machi e, Loop, so many.

I feel like it deserved a much bigger fandom than it had. Like Bleach or Full Metal Alchemist. It's truly a work of art to me and it just blows my mind that they couldn't finish the anime because they lacked funding and fans. It just deserves so much.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. This one I feel really was more of a ramble than usual. Highly recommend. It wasn't my first anime, but in many ways, it did so much more for me than Sailor Moon did, and I don't say that lightly. I mean, I wouldn't even consider Tuxedo Mask for my man harem. He doesn't even deserve to be on a wait list. Helios was better than him in my opinion. I wouldn't even consider Helios either though. Seiya was close, and the genderbending made him more interesting, but he didn't make it in either.

I feel like I need to make a post of who's in my man harem now…

Anyway, thanks for reading. Love you all! *kiss

I will never give up on you

Summary:

Now that things are back to normal, Mobius begins to wonder if he is the right person for Loki and is willing to let him go so he can be happy. Loki will prove to Mobius that he too can lean on Loki.

🌈 Happy Pride month ! 🌈

To celebrate, 1 day, 1 story.

Be ready for smiles, laugh, fluff, tooth rotthing fluff, positive vibes and a lot of love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32223349

2170 words - Rating G

"Oh my! Did you see Loki at the briefing this morning?!"

"He had that adorable smile again!"

"You mean the smile that would light up the whole room if it was night?"

"Yes!!!"

Mobius couldn't help but smile as he heard the gossip of the latest recruits.

After all it was not uncommon for people, girls or boys, to rave about his lover who really had the figure of a god.

Sometimes it made Mobius conscious of his own appearance and he wondered what could attract Loki to him, while the TVA was full of female or male specimens much more attractive than himself.

He continued on his way, with a slightly less energetic step when Miss Minutes' small, knowing voice called out, "That smile is not for you!"

The group of girls cried out, "What?!!! Then who is it for!"

"That's not for me to say." She replied in a mysterious tone. Then she continued clapping her little white-gloved hands, ending the discussion. "Come on, the class on time travel paradoxes is about to start!"

Mobius, continuing on his way to his office, thought about what Miss Minutes had just said.

There were few of them who knew about the relationship between Loki and him. Miss Minutes, Casey and Sylvie.

It wasn't that they had made it a secret.

Honestly if Mobius listened to himself, he'd be shouting it to the world.

But he couldn't help but wonder.

They hadn't really discussed their relationship yet, and Mobius was afraid to broach the subject. He was afraid that now that they were living a fairly normal life, as normal as it could be considering the circumstances, Loki would realize that he could do much better than a plain looking, not-so-young agent.

The circumstances of their meeting had been particular, he had been what the god had needed and now he wondered what he could bring him.

Before Loki, the life of Mobius had been the TVA, he had had some affairs, with Revonna for example, but nothing serious.

Then there was Loki, who had made his way into Mobius' heart very quickly.

In the next hallway, as he turned towards the door of his office, he saw the object of his thoughts surrounded by a small group of people. They were talking animatedly.

Suddenly Loki began to smile. The same smile that he had whenever he saw Mobius, the one the girls were talking about before.

But this time the smile wasn't directed at him.

Mobius' throat tightened. Maybe it was time to free Loki and let him fly away.

So he spent the day avoiding him. Every time Loki came near or wanted to talk to him, Mobius found an excuse to leave or found a way to slip away.

When Casey had picked him up for their daily lunch in the cafeteria, he had declined.

His actions did not go unnoticed by the object of his affection.

Loki sensed that something was wrong.

These last times, he had the impression that they got closer and Mobius was not averse to dispense signs of affection that Loki returned him well.

Loki wondered what he had done. Because if something went wrong, it was surely his fault. He had a gift for ruining his relationships with people. However, for once, Loki didn't want to give up until he had tried everything. Because he had changed, or rather he was who he was supposed to be and not who other people had decided was destined to be and he owed that to Mobius.

It was time for them to have a serious discussion about their relationship and it would happen now. He walked with a determined step towards Mobius' office, entered and closed the door gently behind him.

Mobius, standing in front of the window, had not heard him enter.

Loki approached him gently, embraced him from behind, put his chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

"I finally caught my runaway boyfriend..."

He knew he was taking a risk by putting a label on something they hadn't defined yet, and he didn't miss the way Mobius froze when Loki said the word boyfriend.

He simply tightened his arms around Mobius.

"Hey..." murmured Mobius. He couldn't help but lean his head against Loki's on his shoulder.

Once again the god had baffled him, and he didn't know what to address first, the fact that Loki had noticed him avoiding him or the way he had called him. Boyfriend...

He turned in Loki's arms and looked up to meet Loki's gaze.

"I..." he paused, unable to sort out his thoughts at the way Loki looked at him. He could see tenderness and devotion, and something more that he couldn't define.

Loki smiled and said softly, "It's rare that you have trouble finding your words."

Mobius muttered, "Not everyone can be talkie talkie like you."

Loki took on a falsely outraged look, "Hey I thought you liked that!"

"I do."

Actually, it wasn't the only thing he liked.

His expression tightened and Loki noticed the change in his countenance. He ran his fingertips gently over Mobius' face and asked softly, "Hey, tell me what's wrong? I'm not blind, you know, I've seen how you've been avoiding me all day. Is it something I did or didn't do? Tell me Mobius, because if I don't know, I can't change anything. And what's between us is too precious to me to ruin in any way. And I-"

Mobius interrupted him by putting a finger over his mouth.He had been appalled as Loki spoke to him, because he realized that he who prided himself on being clear-headed and able to read people, had been wrong about everything, and that his fear of facing things head-on had made Loki insecure and worse, made him feel guilty when there was no reason to.

He had been appalled as Loki spoke to him, because he realized that he who prided himself on being clear-headed and able to read people had been wrong about everything, and that his fear of facing things head-on had made Loki insecure and worse, made him feel guilty when there was no reason to.

From the beginning, they had been honest and sincere with each other. Loki had not hesitated to bare his heart more than once, showing unwavering trust in Mobius and at the first obstacle Mobius was not able to show him the same trust?

He had to stop acting like an idiot. As humiliating as it might be, it was up to him to bare his heart, to expose his fears and insecurities.

"Stop Loki.This isn't you, I promise you, you didn't do anything wrong."

Not daring to look him in the eye, he told him everything, the conversation he had witnessed in the morning, which had triggered this path of thoughts, leading to his doubts and fears.

"And now I feel like such an idiot for reacting that way instead of facing the problem head on. For being jealous like a teenager."

Loki lifted his chin with his hand and Mobius saw that he was looking at him with the same fond eyes as before as he shook his head.

"I don't know where to start, but the first thing I want you to know is that just because when we first met, I was the one who needed you, doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. I'm certainly not going to judge you for a moment of doubt. Honestly, that you were jealous of this group of people, I don't know if that's flattering or ridiculous or a little of both. But I want to reassure you of one thing. Do you know why I was smiling like that? It's because they were talking about you, that when they finished their training they wanted to become an agent like you. I was just smiling because I was proud of my boyfriend.And by the way, about the label, honestly I don't care, I called you boyfriend before because that's what came to my mind spontaneously, the most important thing is what's here." said Loki pointing at Mobius' chest.

"That's just it." intervened Mobius, "I think my doubts come mainly from the fact that I don't know what's here." in turn he pointed to Loki's chest. "We never talked about what was between us. And you know me, as much as I like a little chaos, I like to know where I'm going. It probably makes me an annoyingly serious person, but that's just the way I am."

It was Loki's turn to put a finger to Mobius' lips to shut him up.

"I don't see it that way, we complement each other, and that's fine. Mobius, you know I often talk to say nothing and not so long ago, while we were on Lamentis with Sylvie, I tried to define love, a little drunk I found a ridiculous metaphor about a dagger. When all I would have had to do was to draw inspiration from reality. I know perfectly well what I would answer now if she asked me again to define love. I would tell her love is someone who is not afraid to put you in front of your failures so that you realize that you are better than what you are, it is someone who sees the good in you and better who sees the good that you are being able to do, love is being confidently able to fall asleep in the presence of someone you trust, love is wanting the person you love to believe in you, love is knowing that if you fall down you will be helped up, it is wanting his face to be the first one you see in the morning and the last one at night. "

He wiped a tear that spilled from Mobius' eye with his thumb before continuing, "Mobius, I don't need a metaphor to describe love since I have you."

He then leaned towards Mobius, closing the little distance that still separated them and placed his lips on his and set about proving his words in the most beautiful way possible.

When they separated to catch their breath, Loki pressed Mobius' head against his chest, tightening his arms around him as Mobius tied his arms around Loki's waist.Loki simply rested his chin on Mobius' head and they stayed like that for a long time, embracing each other in front of the window, in a comforting silence.

Mobius felt Loki's heart beating fast and strong against his ear and realized how much courage it took to open his heart like that, without waiting for Mobius' answer.

No! He didn't have to hide anymore. Loki had shown courage in facing their relationship head on and he was going to do the same!

He pushed himself back, forcing Loki to loosen his grip and took his hand. He looked into Loki's eyes and with a pounding heart said, "You know I knew you before we met, I had watched your life story several times, and it was during those viewings that I fell in love with you. Don't make round eyes like that. Once you take off the shell, when you see past the mischief and missteps, it's so easy to love you. When you first came here, you showed all the qualities I saw in you and made me fall in love with you all over again, and now that you've broken free of your chains, I fall in love with you every day."

Loki grinned a little shakily before saying, "You realize that makes us the biggest sappy idiots in this world."

"No witnesses, no proof." Mobius pulled his lover's head toward him to wipe away his cheeky smile with a kiss that left them both panting.

"How about we continue this at home."

They walked out of the office, Mobius locked the door, and when he turned around, Loki was holding out his hand. He grasped it, and with intertwined fingers they walked towards their home.

Suddenly, they found themselves face to face with two of the girls Mobius had heard talking that morning.

They stopped, and he saw their eyes fixed on their locked hands. The girls started walking past them and they heard them giggling and whispering behind them.

They looked at each other, smiling.

"Do you realize that tomorrow the whole of the TVA staff will know about this?" asked Loki.

"That's fine with me, I won't need to show that you're mine."

"That's a shame, I'd like to see you possessive. Maybe I should smile more often for others than you." replied Loki with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow.

Mobius growled, "Loki..."

Only the god's mischievous laughter answered him. They continued on their way home, bickering lovingly under the watchful eyes of two witnesses who couldn't wait until the next day to spread the news: Agent Mobius was responsible for Agent Loki's radiant smile.

Epilogue here : X

_______

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

The whole series here : Together, For all time, Always

Goldenflower And Sasha Switch Kits AU

so uh

apparently my draft posted and I wasn't aware of it, despite it being saved as a draft????

so

let's

try this again

with this au

and pretend nothing happened

Tadpole, Hawk, Moth

Tadpolekit, Mothkit, and Hawkkit are born to Goldenflower and Tigerstar. [Tadpole is an almost black tabby, Mothkit is almost identical to her mother, and Hawkkit looks how Bramblestar does in canon]

They are still in the nursery when their father is exiled. The kits are notably hurt by him leaving.

When whispers about the kits start, Tadpolekit is quick to fight and kick and protect his siblings from any rumors, causing quite a ruckus. He's also close to his uncle, Snowkit, especially once cats start to realize the white tom is deaf.

Mothkit is clearly hurt the most by what's going on, feeling lost on why everything was happening. She sticks closer and closer to her brothers, though the words against her aren't as harsh as with Tadpolekit and Hawkkit.

Hawkkit is harder to read, as he acts like nothing is wrong and nothing happened, instead choosing to pretend everything is fine, though he slowly is less and less connected to his brother and sister as a result.

When Snowkit is grabbed by the hawk, Tadpolekit tries to save him. He doesn't, but he slows the hawk down enough for a warrior to snag the bird and save Snowkit. Tadpolekit and Speckletail become very protective of Snowkit as a result.

They grow and become Hawkpaw, Tadpolepaw, Mothpaw, and Snowpaw - their mentors, respectively, being Firestar, Brightheart, Cinderpelt, and Brackenfur [with help from Speckletail]

Not long after they're apprentices, though, Mothpaw and Hawkpaw go missing and cannot be found. The Clan panics until the next gathering, where it's revealed Hawkpaw and Mothpaw were in ShadowClan.

Mothpaw isn't happy there, but she was pressured by Hawkpaw to go. It turns out, too, that Tadpolepaw knew about this, but didn't leave with them as he wanted nothing to do with his father. Mothpaw is now Littlecloud's apprentice and Hawkpaw is being mentored by Blackfoot.

Hawkpaw also makes a scene at the gathering, saying how ThunderClan chased them out because they kept judging them on their kin, and specifically says its Firestar's fault

The rest of the gathering isn't that pleasant

Time goes and when Tigerstar is killed, Tadpolepaw finds himself unable to feel sorry for his father and this angers Hawkpaw beyond belief.

Tadpolepaw asks Mothpaw to come back and Hawkpaw stops her from leaving, saying that Tadpolepaw abandoned them, too

Tadpolepaw is outraged that his brother feels this way, feeling more about this than he did his father's death, which only proves to piss off Hawkpaw more

Mothpaw apologizes to Tadpolepaw, stating she needs to be there for Hawkpaw.

He tells her she doesn't, but still watches as his sister leaves with their brother.

The battle against BloodClan happens about the same way, with all the apprentices - including medicine cat apprentice Mothpaw - coming together to kill Bone. Hawkpaw also attempts to ight Scourge, but ends up having half of his face ripped to shreds. He spends many days in the medicine cat den, seething.

As warriors they become Tadpolefrost, Snowheart, and Hawkclaw Mothpaw eventually earns the full medicine cat name Mothwhisper

Bramble, Tawny

Bramble and Tawny are born to Sasha after she returns to the forest. Sasha is weak and tired, but does her best to care for her two kits. [Bramble is a brown and cream tabby and Tawny is a seal point cat - both of them are massive kits, too, which was stressful for a lone molly giving birth]

Sasha eventually starts getting sick, but is afraid to turn to ShadowClan for help.

She eventually grows too weak and drags herself and her kits towards the Clans. She is taken in by RiverClan, but they are unable to save her in time and she passes away a few days later.

Bramble and Tawny, who are still young, are named Bramblekit and Tawnykit, and given to the queens, who all take turns taking care of the kits.

Tawny was eventually apprenticed to Leopardstar and Bramble was apprenticed to Blackclaw [it should also be noted that around this time is when Leafkit and Squirrelkit are born in ThunderClan]

Featherpaw and Stormpaw, who are young apprentices at this time, are curious about these new kits and are glad to have potential friends.

The two brother and sister duos become fast friends and teach each other everything they need to know.

However, Featherpaw feels a tinge of worry every time she looks at Bramblepaw, especially as he gets older. She brushes this off, but it doesn't stop the worried thoughts.

Tawnypaw and Featherpaw also get really close, even after Featherpaw becomes Feathertail, and the two are best friends. Tawnypaw also actively defends Feathertail while she works through her trauma and gives her her space when she needs it.

Bramblepaw had a harder time making friends, secluding himself for a bit as he felt a strange tugging at his dreams every time he closed his eyes. He did eventually become friends with Feathertail, Stormfur, and Dawnflower later on in his apprentice training.

Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw earn the warrior names Tawnyfang and Bramblefur

Where Their Stories Intertwine

The chosen cats for the journey are Feathertail, Crowpaw, Tadpolefrost, and Mothwhisper Stormfur and Tawnyfang refuse to let Feathertail go alone and Tadpolefrost gets joined by his apprentice, Squirrelpaw, whom he can be frustrated with, but he still thinks highly of her as he can't deny that her spunky attitude is refreshing.

Tawnyfang and Feathertail at this point are mates and openly so as they are rather affectionate

Things go as they do in canon, though with the new cast of characters and with new interactions. I have few memories of the journey itself, honestly, and will need to reread TNP once more fdksh

When they reach the lake, Mothwhisper pulls Tadpolefrost to the side and tells him that Hawkclaw is getting worse and she's worried about what he may do in the future.

Tadpolefrost wants to brush this off, but something deep down feels a familiar dread.

Back in ShadowClan, Hawkclaw is currently mentoring Smokepaw, becoming a model warrior and someone Blackstar clearly trusts, though there is the bias with the two being a former mentor and apprentice. Bramblefur finds himself jealous of the ShadowClan warrior, as he seems to be the star of that Clan, but he doesn't speak about his envy.

During a gathering, Bramblefur notices the ThunderClan medicine cat apprentice, Leafpaw, watching him. After the gathering, he confronts the apprentice, who apologizes and admits she didn't know she was staring. She admits he reminds her of someone, but before he can press for answers, she ends up being called away.

Returning to the journeying cats as they start their return, they come across the Tribe. When Feathertail almost sacrifices herself, Tawnyfang gets in the way. She doesn't die killing Sharptooth, but she is badly injured. Feathertail and Stormfur stay behind with her, leaving Tadpolefrost, Squirrelpaw, and Mothwhisper to return to the Clans.

Bramblefur and Leafpaw work together to save cats who are taken by twolegs, Bramblefur getting them out and Leafpaw treating them for their injuries.

and I'm not sure how I want things to go past here

But Tadpole is the one to kill Hawk, who almost became leader as he was actively trying to kill Blackstar after Russetfur's "mysterious" death

Tadpole did try reasoning with his brother, but after he realized there was no hope, he killed him

I don't even know which of the Tiger kids I want to have trained in the Dark Forest jakffds

And to get some side notes out

Squirrelflight doesn't have a planned mate, but she doesn't get with Ashfur

I'm not sure if I'd go with LeafCrow or LeafBramble [as they are close in this AU, but idk if they'd become mates], but one of those two toms is the father of The Three. Also, before anyone complains, there's only a 6 moon age gap between Bramble and Leaf and they wouldn't have feelings for each other until they're both older. Though, I can't imagine they'd run away together and split mutually because they can't manage to keep meeting when they're a whole lake apart.

Squilf still lies for her sister and raises Holly, Jay, and Lion as her own

If Tadpole ever has his own kits, he names one Hawkkit after his brother, though I don't know who he'd be in a relationship with [maybe he gets with Daisy instead of Spiderleg?]

While in the Tribe, Tawny and Feather find a Tribe tom willing to help them and they become the proud mothers of Stonekit/Stonesplash, Silverkit/Silverfeather, and Ravenkit/Ravenstep Stone is a brown and gray tabby trans intersex tolly [uses he/him] Silver is a pale gray and white tom and Raven is a black tabby molly

Stonesplash ends up the RiverClan medicine cat and has to be partially tried by the other medicine cats after Mudfur passes away. He tries to convince Leopardstar to let Willowpaw train with him, but is denied for a while. He eventually wins and Willowshine, as a warrior apprentice, trains to be a medicine cat. It's not until moons later that it turns out the two had been flirting since they were apprentices.

[Interview] 2PM's Taecyeon 1st Look Magazine

In "Vincenzo", going back and forth as the foolish intern lawyer and the cold-blooded sociopath, Ok Taecyeon has added tension. Another side of him begins.

Q: It has been approximately one year since your last acting piece and you're back with the drama <VINCENZO>. Did you watch the first episode?

T: Of course, I really enjoyed watching it. Actually, I don't know much about the part without my appearance until I watched it on TV. So, it's like something new to me. Watching the first episode, I realized I am in a project that's much bigger than I thought.

Q: What's your reaction?

T: Overall, it was fun. However, there were many scenes with the comical elements came out stronger than I thought. As this is the work from scriptwriter, Park Jae-Beom, I expected some comical elements to some extent but most of them, I didn't even think about it.

Q: Like you said, scriptwriter Park Jae-Beom is someone who will address the social issues in a comical way. What's it like to work with him?

T: While I was reading the script, I thought the writer has something he wanted to say. He wanted to bring out social criticism through his piece of work. Actually, the black comedy genre needs to be more comical so that it won't be too heavily weighted. It's not easy. The scriptwriter managed to solve this without placing too much weight on this. Personally, I am very impress.

Q: At the drama press conference, Director Kim Hee Won told us that she worked very hard on each character to the extent that it took her 6 months to do casting. Why do you think Ok Taecyeon became Jang Jun Woo?

T: I think the biggest reason is my good health. From Director Kim's perspective, bright and healthy image matches with Junwoo's character. She said I should be able to explore and express this character well.

Q: Actually, I thought Jang Junwoo would be very different to the Ok Taecyeon that we know for a long time.

T: When I first received the script, I thought, "Should I be doing this?" because Jang Junwoo and I have a lot in common. The very first scene for Junwoo is riding an electric scooter, which made me feel if someone is hiding a camera to film my real life. I like to ride it all the time (laugh). However, as the story unfolds, it is more than just Junwoo's foolish out look. I'm going to show a different side of me, so I am paying a lot of attention in my acting.

Q: With a different side, what would that be?

T: I think Jang Junwoo is someone with many sides and shadings. It's character that goes back and forth between cold and hot bath. I keep thinking, "Can I express it like this?" I am thinking into each and single details. Personally, I have never acted like this before, so I'm expressing it in various different ways under the directions from the director. Viewers will be able to see this, I wonder how they will accept it.

Q: Personally, I think your "Tikitaka" with senior lawyer played by Jeon Yeo Bin was impressive. I'm looking forward to see the chemistry between you two. (T/N: "Tikitaka" means "the situation whereby someone does something and the other supports with efficient responses")

T: Actually I tried to get to know each other better. She's an actress who receives well and so, we are in sync when say our script lines.

Q: Jang Junwoo is an intern who just took his first step into the society. What was Ok Taecyeon like when he first started? Let's talk about the old days.

T: When I first started working... It was already 15 years ago (laugh). Back then, to me, everything was fun. The very first time I earned my own money was when I did some modelling. At that time, I didn't have a manager, so I took the bus with heavy stage makeup. I also went to practice just like that. However, everything was really fun. At that time, my parents were in the US and I came back to Korea alone. One of the fun things is to tell them each and everything I did for work.

Q: <VINCENZO> will be meeting global viewers via Netflix. Will the global viewers be able to relate to the story?

T: For sure, I don't think there's anything you can relate to it. This is because it is a black comedy where they are pointing out the current problems in Korean society. However, if you look at it at a wider scope, the definition of a dark hero is the same in any society. Viewers with their conventional thoughts and curiosity will have questions as to why things are not resolved by the law. I think this is where <VINCENZO> will attract the global viewers.

Q: You have been an actor for more than 10 years. When was the first time, you are convinced about this?

T: I think it was at the time when I was filming the drama <WONDERFUL DAYS>. One day after shooting a scene, the writer praised me for doing well. While I was filming, I thought, "Am I doing it okay?". I didn't know I would get a good compliment. After the filming, I was able to feel the relief of my nervousness, which I have never felt before. For the first time, I thought, "Is this the charm of acting?"

Q: When you first dream of becoming an actor to now, is there any difference?

T: Well, I think we should use the expression "When I first started" rather than "When I first dreamed" about it. I think I really started not knowing what was really going on. With the thought that I am working with nice people, every time I go to work, I will think about how I can contribute to make it interesting and fun in the filming. I thought about how I can express more. I think it's about time for me to think about how to make my characters look new.

Q: Actually, there is no right or wrong answer for acting. Sometimes, there are different opinions but what kind of choices do you have to make?

T: Personally, I will analyze the characters and prepare a lot of things. Sometimes, I will approach the director. Times like that, I will follow the director's instructions. Of course, there are also times when I have my own thoughts. However, no matter how I act, it doesn't mean much if it gets edited out later. I came across an actor who doesn't look at his acting at all on the monitor. If he sees his own acting, he would be forcing his acting without realizing it. So when he the director says it's okay, he is okay with it, too. After hearing that, I thought that was right too.

Q: What attracts you when you look at a piece of work?

T: Personally, I think how the story flows is important. Next is, what can I show with this character? I will look into it.

Q: What's the joy living as an actor?

T: While you get to play different characters every time, you can also break down people's prejudice. I think this is the part with the most fun. So I think it's important to take on new challenges with something new. I am always thinking how to keep people's attentions and to what extend people can take when I do something outrageous.

Q: If so, what does actor Ok Taecyeon want to show with his acting?

T: Honestly, instead of showing a completely different side of me, I am trying to focus on what I already have and I'll increase all aspects little by little. I was watching my acting to look for the character's flow and what the character is missing all at once. I'm trying to do that (laugh).

Q: By the way, at the end of last year, 2PM announced their group comeback at a live. How's the preparation going?

T: We're preparing but I'm not sure if we can make a comeback this year (laugh). We are planning but there are situations overlapping so we need to organize that.

Q: Since 2016, it's been 5 years since your last group album. Personally, anything you want to show us?

T: As all our members are composing songs, we all have different ideas. Like what music to use as our title song? We cannot make a start unless we find our direction. Actually, once the title song is decided, it will progress from then on, but members haven't come to a decision yet. Recently, our first round of gathering failed (laugh).

Q: Define Ok Taecyeon in a few words. What words are appropriate?

T: A lot of people said the words "healthy" or "vitamin C" (laugh). Personally, I like all of them. However, if I put them all together, I hope I can become the "Happy Virus." Doesn't matter where I go, I want to give happiness to many people. As a singer who is acting, if you watch me act and you can feel the comfort and happiness from my heart that would be great.

Q: I think you have achieved this. Everyone in the site here today is happy. Thanks to Taecyeon.

T: Really? Then, that's all. What. Hahaha...

Trans @JLML718

Finally watched Rhod Gilbert's Growing Pains S01E05 with Richard. The show has 3 guests who talk about their teenage years and try to outembarrass each other. I honestly thought Richard would be a winner by default but he was up against two really strong opponents who had some outrageous stories to tell. Still, I couldn't help but write down a few gems.

(on failing to provide a teenage photo) My parents documented my existence up until about 3 and then they went "I think we've got the idea now".

(on after school activity) It was a building site and I went round collecting lead and I would melt the lead to make figures. And you know, people say lead is poisonous and it's bad for brain development and it can lead to developmental problems, that you might be odd or isolated. I didn't find that. I felt it was my choice not to associate with others. It was my choice not to be able to start conversations, and my temper tantrums and rages were my choice. I fainted because I wanted to faint.

(on nicknames) In order to have a nickname I feel people need to know your original name. I was often just 'you'.

(on body hair) - Have you ever "manscaped"? - I have no man to scape.

There were other great parts like his hobby of collecting newspaper clippings of bussinessmen. Such a fun show overall.

GIARDINO BLU

A / N: before I started everything I wanted to warn you that I don't speak English very well, forgive me if the story sucks

Things bloom

In unexpected moments

"But I know

This can't go on forever

I have to let you go

But I want you so much "

15th century: March 21st Italy

POV Author

It was a scorching summer day in a quiet northern Italian city in which it was not well known except for the fact that it was surrounded by fine grains of areas that covered the streets, mountains and houses, its residents were mostly humble people who lived their lives calmly, and without a lot of worries just having to stay in the same village day by day, there lived a man he was not a high class nobleman who lavished wealth and money wherever he went he was a simple homeless person nor a he was certainly not the most humble person in terms of money but he had an inherent and pure beauty that was easily hidden by his "rags" and dirt

An orphan since his birth with the disappearance or death of his parents he doesn't even know without knowing the world trapped walking in circles he steals to survive not that he really had much choice

ー hey little thief come back here with this

But an escape really was getting difficult to escape almost the whole city knew his face and knew him very well that was what they called him "little thief" even though he knew his name Naruto Uzumaki this time was a simple bakery that had the displeasure of being in touch with the blond but it wasn't his fault after all in this village street people only have one end to starve or steal to survive what would you choose?

He ran for a while until the lord of the bakery got tired of running after him giving up on leaving him with bubbling anger in his eyes Naruto took advantage of it and started eating the piece of bread with such speed that he realized where he was only after savoring "his "food in a lost forest was all he needed. The forest was full of trees it was even surprising compared to the hot climate of the village that no water was so dry wasting nature would appreciate everything since it was his first time there in his 21 years but the desperation to leave and go to the place who called it home was bigger

He walked on confusing trails up and down up there and without even knowing if he was close to leaving that place, it didn't make sense to sigh loudly with tiredness "My back is killing me and my legs are stuck in a stream" I thought with every step I took I didn't know little where he was going had left by the city gates they said that the forest was haunted they had already seen monsters there that they had tails and fierce looks stories to prevent their children from leaving home or disobeying their parents "If you don't behave I will leave you in the forest "but the most" scary "" The Monster of the Castle "the monster of the castle say he was the son of a lord who was the fruit of a love that could not even exist he was born with a few lines on his face that was thing for an ox to sleep Naruto always thought of the orphanage where he lived always told him these stories he didn’t understand yes he knew that there was indeed a man who lived in a huge old castle like the grains of sand in the city is that he was in fact the son, not of a lord, but of nothing but nothing less, the Duke of Florence, the youngest son in which he was sent is expelled for his appearance to this castle, the residents who saw him said that they said he it was ugly disgusting it’s even horrendous the blond with beautiful eyes blue sky didn’t understand didn’t understand why they didn’t even really know the man

Surprised sighs mixed with euphoria came out of his mouth as he witnessed a huge castle in front of him, it looked like it was made up of unanswered questions, he was in fact lost, but now what he was going to do to face the monster or remain lost without even being good at it. forest

He did the obvious right back to the forest not five minutes after turning around he started trying to climb the huge walls several and several attempts most fail well all until he finally managed to get over the huge walls "My God what a hell wall "

His surprise was such a huge garden composed of the most diverse and beautiful flowers ever seen, each one more beautiful than the other yellow red white pink and many more flowers never seen was right in front of him his eyes shone but he never observed everything with the greatest fascination the most beautiful thing he has witnessed in all these years but at the back of him he saw a man with short medium-length reddish hair is a thin physique watering is cultivating these flowers he seemed so serene cultivating his flowers he was so beautiful indeed there were thousands of lines and some black dots marking his face it only made him more beautiful Naruto barely noticed the hours seconds transformed into minutes gardem gave way to hours when he realized the man had already entered his castle is left his jrdim there lit only by the dim light of the moon

Naruto looked at those beautiful flowers

"Only a few will not hurt anyone"

He thought with a careful leap he looked like a cat just on the tip of his feet he was admiring for a while or a lot he lost his hours touching the flowers with delicacy they were so soft then after a few minutes he tore some flowers with care, right, carefully wrapped them in his little cloth when coming back to the forest it seemed that going back to his village was much easier maybe because of his wandering mind that only thought about the day he saw "The monster of the castle" that of a monster only had names he didn't look like a monster people really invent each thing he went to his little hiding place it was nothing too much to tell the truth just a bed is a table it could be worse was sleeping on his straw bed because we don't have any improvised money not soon after putting the flowers in a glass of water I could hardly sleep that's a thousand because just to throw himself in bed if he sleeps there like a cannonball the truth was that he only thought about the garden and the castle he wanted so much to talk to the man when you saw earlier your hunger took away everything when you fell asleep due to tiredness your thoughts were gone for an instant

Naruto POV

Italy June 22

Waking up with the hot sun hitting me in the face again was an ass every day the mana thing didn’t make a day that this village doesn’t get a miserable heat and honestly I didn’t want to wake up I looked to the side lazily but the sleep soon passed me I got up hurriedly and went to the flowers I took them in my hand shock

ー It wasn't a dream, I walk so exhausted I'm even daydreaming it can only be that

My belly is asking for urgent food I give a loud sigh but one day

ー Sometimes I just wanted to be rich

With the flowers I went walking through the streets, vast streets of the city simple houses mostly humble surrounded me small markets but a common day for everyone as always people looked at me unwanted this is what I am but I couldn't blame them in the end one a thief who steals them almost daily would be funny if it weren't tragic an old woman approached me with a smile on her face different from most people around me, how strange people usually ignore me or pretend I'm not even here or even stop to curse me I looked at him suspiciously "not a good thing"

ー What beautiful flowers my young man how much they cost

She spoke with a gentle smile I raised an eyebrow what the hell is she talking about I dared to ask

ー What?

She looked at me confused we both looked at each other in confusion it was even funny the scene two idiots not understanding anything they were talking about we were on different pages it would never work

ー You are not selling your flowers

I looked at the makeshift bouquet in my hands. Sell ​​? Flowers ? Money….

ー Ehhh yes ... I am selling it I mean they are mine… .. lady

Trying to sound as good as possible as someone who really knows what he is doing as well as I thought it sucked the old woman laughed outrageously she took some coins and handed it to me I took it firmly let her decide not to give it to me anymore

ー Well I want these roses here

She pointed it out and gave it to me quickly and right after its withdrawal I still didn't understand anything in one hand flowers in the other money

ー Money….

A whirlwind of thoughts prowled my head. I could sell flowers to get what to eat and live, maybe get out of this crappy village and thus be able to live, but these flowers are not even mine, how can I sell them?

I approached a guy who sold Shikamaru muffins I think he looked at me ugly with a mixture of tiredness he looked like he hadn't slept in ages with his black hair the Nara family one of the families but humble is respected at the same time I remembered I had assaulted him last week he just doesn't get me because of the laziness that has to be moved a putz muscle it had to be him my stomach rumbled loudly I apparently gave a boring smile and my discomfort didn't show

ー Will try to rob me again Naruto

He said suspiciously but soon after yawned his eyes slowly closed I scratched my head

ー Not this time… .I mean I'll pay myself Naruto Uzumaki I'll pay

I said hurriedly I handed him the money anyway he still looked at me suspiciously not believing in a word my look at him was judging me looking into my soul

ー HMM ... you didn't steal it from anyone is it

I looked at you offended

ー OF COURSE NO! I managed with my own money I… .. am selling flowers

I showed him the flowers with a proud look they were fascinated with them I was feeling so good that everything in me screamed "you are too convinced for someone who won 10 silvers"

ー Didn't know you grew flowers

I don't cultivate!

ー I will change of life

Said firmly

ー As long as you stop stealing my cookies I don't care little thief

ー I have a name Shikamaru

He just looked at me and gave a lazy smile I gave a smile too I left that tent and left as quickly as possible pretending dementia listening to Shikamaru's laugh behind this Shikamaru invents everything

Somewhere else

Gaara POV

Another day in this huge castle alone with my beautiful garden one of the only things that doesn't keep me lonely in this scum of life I let out loud sighs staring at the wall in disbelief how long it will last how long

I hear the door slam that made my thoughts change a little bit. Who is it that I hurry up sitting on the bed looking for my mask?

ー Master you should have been getting up ...

I sighed loud relief stamped across my entire being my right arm and the only person besides me who lives in that stupid castle came through the door with a coffee tray in addition to my cook's right arm and basically mine does everything I feel that without him I would go to freak out

Lee Rock Lee you don't need so much formality is your day off you shouldn't be doing anything but fun like I don't know dating you are young

ー The 70 year old man talks more fun than cooking is helping you in your impossible Giardino

ー Lee formality the formality reminds

He gives a small laugh Lee always manages to get laughs and smiles from me

ー yes yes you don't think you should go out a bit but Gaara meeting new people a boy or girl who knows

ー Who would want to know me or my father wants to see me my brothers for them I hardly exist because I have to be so horrendous

I said throwing myself on the bed again running my hands over the marks on my face

ー You have to stop calling yourself that not everyone cares about how you look, besides that you are very beautiful I'm sure you just didn't find the right person and your brothers love you I know NOW go take a shower to eat for the love o sunny day perfect for farming don't you think

He put the tray on top of the table, which was always full of books about flowers. I loved creating flowers and taking care of them. My mother liked it. I felt sorry for not having met him. Lee left quickly. I was already preparing for monotonous days. to the bathroom

Somewhere else

POV Author

The young Uzumaki sold "his" flowers surprisingly they made successes who saw fell in love with his old "friend" Sakura Haruno appeared all euphoric as always a woman from high society nor was it known why loads of water she was in that peaceful village

ㅡ NARUTO UZUMAKI WHO YOU STOLE THIS TIME

she said already giving him slaps and sermons as always

ㅡ AINN Sakura-Chan how long I thought until you had already fled this city

I teased her, she rolled her eyes and gave me another shit making me bewildered it hurt so much it looks like I'm going to pass out sure there will be a cock

ㅡ SHUT UP THE MOUTH BAKA You know why I'm here I need to see my lady

She smiled smugly but with a look of malice I wanted to laugh but I am respectful

ㅡ first stop screaming the scandalous it's me second came to see Hinata again

her look fell I gave a look of I KNOW YOU

ㅡ Know that the Hyuuga are enemies of the Haruno

ㅡ nonsense nobody will stop our love now give me one of these wonderful flowers

I gave her the rest of the flowers with rest I say a flower she gave me the money and I quickly denied it

ㅡ Go right before I change my mind I don't deny money

She ran quickly with the flower she knows me well the flower in her hand she swayed with the speed of her steps more obvious without first giving me another punch mommy I just don't fight with her because I don't want to be beaten to death

Watching the sunset I didn't know where I was going the streets are still busy as if the joy of the city really started I could just go away and wait one day I had money for at least tomorrow but I followed the forest when I entered it all it looked so scary but also so comforting in a short time unlike yesterday the moon was bright i didn't know where i was going i was going back to that place to that garden for that man AI Naruto your idiot is going crazy

Upon seeing the castle even with the huge trees I could clearly see flashing flames and attractive drugs

I tried school again the walls were easier than the last time when I jumped I could see those beauties this beautiful Giardino I approached without wanting to steal know how much closer I saw a body A BODY was the red-haired man I got closer her every time but my heart was beating the more I got close until I saw him sleeping he was so serene in the middle of several sunflowers

ㅡ Who are you… ..

I ran my hand over his face my fingers were delighted by his lines his shadow on his face his little dots the man opened his eyes eyes sea green beautiful as the owner grandma tell you he looked bewildered but when he noticed our approach he quickly got up and walked away

ㅡ Who are you…. why are you here

Do you think Chuck made Sam and Eileen like each other? Are you sure? Because that is not exactly the truth. They had a legitimate attraction since s11, when they met. Chuck just manipulated the situation, using a spell and helping her to reach the bunker. He didn't need to do anything else. Chuck knew that the two of them together in the bunker would undoubtedly result in a romance. Because their attraction is real. Their feelings are real. Chuck didn't manipulated it.

*sighs heavily and then looks into the endless depths of your sunglasses and wonders why we’re still doing this three months on*

If you see it that way, more power to you, honestly. I wish I could. 

but also, and perhaps most importantly:

The fact that I am incapable of seeing it that way has no bearing on whether or not *you* see it that way.

Seriously. You are free to carry on with that cheerful and unproblematic view of events. Please feel free to continue to enjoy the ship as you see fit. You do not need the permission of randos typing on the internet to enjoy the show in whatever way pleases you best.

Here’s where I’m personally hitting a wall with it that nothing in canon has enabled *me personally* to climb over. To me, this isn’t something I can personally engage in a debate over, because everyone attempting to debate me on this point insists that the only satisfactory resolution to a conversation here is my unconditional acceptance of Sam and Eileen’s relationship as incontestably pure and free from the stain of Chuck’s influence. And I’m gonna put this next bit in its own paragraph, because I really, really need people to understand this, because it’s not about *you* it’s about *me*:

Because of experiences in my own life, I am incapable of seeing it that way.

Please reread that last sentence, and really, really think about what I’m telling you here. And then reconsider this campaign to convince me that I’m somehow wrong here. If I’m wrong, if canon is headed toward a Sam and Eileen happy endgame scenario, that will play out on screen in a way that I won’t be able to deny, with both of them making choices out of their own free will, untainted by Chuck’s control going forward.

If you can truly see them as already romantic, then please consider yourself lucky. Understand that some of us do not have that luxury.

As to your other points, I have never said that Chuck “made Sam and Eileen like each other.” Of course Sam and Eileen liked each other before. That’s literally what I said in the post I made about this *yesterday*:

On the surface, it’s different because Sam and Eileen actually LIKED each other before, years in the past before her untimely death.

You can read that whole (long) post here, because pulling statements out of context doesn’t serve anyone:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/190972379710/mad-as-a-box-of-frogs-mittensmorgul-i-just

But canon has also informed us that despite having LIKED each other when they met in 11.11, Eileen did not become a major part of Sam’s life until we saw her again in 12.17. That’s fanon. The assumption that when we did see her again, that she and Sam had been carrying on a year-long relationship offscreen. We WANTED it to be true, because how many times has Sam had someone in his life like that? But canon has told us that despite that initial chemistry, they had not had that sort of relationship. Between 11.11 and 12.17, Sam never once mentioned her. And within a few episodes of 11.11, watching in real time, most of us accepted the fact that she was-- as a hunter and a legacy MoL-- a potential future ally, but like every other one-off episode hunter, not someone who had become central to Sam’s story. The vast majority of us... accepted that and moved on.

There was a LOT of excitement over the potential for her return in 12.17, but with the power of hindsight, and s15 literally doubling down on the fact by literally making Eileen’s return a direct manipulation by Chuck for this exact purpose, when she died in 12.21 for Sam’s pain, we took our outrage at that ending for her and began writing fix-it fic, headcanoning that she couldn’t really be dead, and inventing a mythical romance between her and Sam filling in that entire year between the two times they’d actually interacted in canon. Because we were ANGRY. Rightfully so.

But canon has told us again that this did not happen. That wasn’t real.

Did they like each other? OF COURSE THEY DID!

Did they have the potential to have become a romantic couple? It really seemed possible back in 12.17, yes.

Did it actually happen that way? Canon says it did not. Sam himself repeatedly said it did not. That their relationship wasn’t like that. The fact that Eileen felt she had to leave after the events of 15.09 confirms it did not. If she knew for a fact that her feelings for Sam were real, if they’d established a romantic relationship before she died in 12.21 and therefore already had a solid foundation for their feelings for one another, she wouldn’t have felt conflicted about staying.

Look at it this way, and try to understand why--in addition to everything else I’ve written about s15, about Chuck’s manipulation, about the specific story he wants to unfold, about all the rest of what canon has been working through this season regarding Fate and Free Will and Chuck’s Will controlling the events of the story, how Chuck not only had Eileen stashed in Hell for two and a half years but then brought her back and arranged it so she was literally the only soul to escape hell to also escape Belphegor’s containment spell AND Rowena’s death spell, only to show up at the exact right moment after Chuck’s previous “lessons” to Sam and Dean had brought Sam to his lowest moment of hopelessness and tormented him with horrific visions only to give him a moment of reprieve, and then orchestrated the entirety of 15.06 specifically to give Sam yet another false sense of hope before ultimately breaking him in 15.09-- I can’t ignore these facts, or convince myself that they somehow don’t apply, or can be overlooked for the convenience of insisting that there aren’t any seriously complicating factors in this singular case.

Again, if you’re able to do that, seriously, please, consider yourself lucky. And maybe try to understand how the phrasing of your message feels like it’s doubling down on the gaslighting. 

I don’t know how many times I need to reiterate that I have zero objections to Sam and Eileen together as an endgame couple, but I can’t see them as already having established a romantic relationship. They literally had one kiss, and in context it was a “goodbye, but please know that I actually do like you, that part was real” on Sam’s part.

I mean... Dean canonically gave Jo a similar kiss in 5.10 right before she died. I don’t really see Sam and Eileen’s kiss any differently. I can’t. Because of ^^^ all of that. Dean and Jo’s kiss wasn’t the acknowledgement that they’d been carrying on a romance up to that point. It didn’t prove a canon romantic pairing here. It was a “if only this had happened differently, maybe we could’ve had a chance.” The difference here is that Eileen... is no longer dead. They do have a potential chance in the future, and I have never denied that. I have no idea what you believe you need to convince me of here, but until canon actually has Sam and Eileen express their desires and intents to pursue a romantic relationship in a way that isn’t inextricably tied to Chuck’s plot manipulations, I’m gonna stand on what I’ve already said. Please stop trying to convince me that Chuck’s manipulation isn’t very, very real. Because in my personal experience here, the manipulation is very, very real. Waaaaayyyyyyy too real for comfort.

And that is EXACTLY all the truth I need.

okay I know it seems like I'm shitposting here and I am, but... I'm also not.

as a trans person I'm finding the online world increasingly stressful to navigate (the real world continues to be exactly as stressful as it always was, but online was MEANT to be better). it feels like everywhere I look there's outrage and violence and the only stories people seem interested in telling about people like me are full of violence of the variety that specifically happens because they're trans (so none of this "well everyone in this book suffers").

and like. I would get it, if they were trans authors. I have written books like that myself, as an act of catharsis, as an act of processing all the bullshit fuckery of this world. I have read books by trans authors that explore transphobia and left me sobbing and hollowed out and yet still felt like a reclamation and an act of validation because ultimately they were about a trans character facing down violence and surviving, not being narratively punished for the act of daring to be trans in a story that didn't want them.

and sometimes, you know, the differences are subtle. there's no checklist: this is okay to write, this isn't, cis people can say x but not y. but there's just something underlying about those stories where you can TELL if the person who wrote them is writing as an act of personal catharsis, digging deep into their own fears and experiences, or if they're doing it as a tearjerker/because they think that's genuinely what all trans narratives are like. and after a while you start to believe that it is, because that fucks you up, never getting to see stories where you just exist. or even just getting to see stories where the violence you face isn't for character development, it's a shitty obstacle that you move past. I'm not even asking for happy stories at this point. I just don't want the crux and turning point of my life to be how others choose to degrade me.

and if it's not shitty ya fiction it's terfs in academia unwilling to find a modicum of human decency, writing letters about how outraged they are about the idea of *gasp* using somebody's correct pronouns. and it's replies on twitter to people who call this out, telling us we're delusional and wrong. and it's queer discourse and exclusionists and everyone who ever makes you doubt if you're even allowed to have community and support. and it's ex-friends where you're never sure why they cut you off but you think it's something to do with your relationship to queerness vs theirs and you know you're better off without someone who thinks you're not "queer" enough when every goddamn day of your life is a battle bc you don't adequately perform gender to anyone's standards, but you still kinda miss them and you wish there was a way you could fix this.

and then you go out into the real world and it's a two year wait for an initial appointment at the GIC and god knows how many years after that before surgery is on the table, and it's being asked why you're in one set of public toilets even while you know you'd never pass well enough to use the other, and it's your family continuing to call you by gendered terms and the wrong pronouns (and being GRATEFUL for that because at least they didn't kick you out or yell at you and you learn to be happy with such small crumbs when you see your friends starving), and it's being terrified every time you go somewhere new because you don't know whether to come out or not, and it's taking off your pronoun pin when you take the bus home, and it's lying on forms you can't fill in honestly and being given a title that isn't yours and answering to the wrong name and endless bureaucratic violence

and I'm just

so goddamn TIRED

and it feels like every time I'm online a weight just settles heavier on my chest, the world screaming at me to stop existing like this. all I want is to exist. all I want is to feel safe. but I'm never safe, because I don't adequately Do Gender the way you want me to do gender. I can be mistaken for a boy and then for a girl, five minutes apart in the same outfit and context, and I have no idea what "gender signals" I'm giving out to give people that impression, so I don't even know what I'd have to do to consistently appear as one thing or another. I can't hide! I can't be anything other than visibly queer! and I want to CELEBRATE that because that's always what I wanted, to be difficult to put in a box, yet these days all I can think about is how dangerous it is, how easily it could be used against me

the world is so much better than it was five years ago. the world is exactly as bad as it was five years ago. the world is more aware of people like me and that means there are more people who know enough about me to hate me.

I am so tired of being afraid.

I am so tired of murdering myself a little every day to avoid it all. of that endless self-violence of swallowing pronouns and names and corrections, of taking off my badges or walking a different route, of deciding CONSTANTLY "this isn't worth the fight we'd have about it", because I know that it doesn't matter what I say, it's never going to change the attitudes of the people around me: it will only make me unsafe.

I'm so tired.

and so, at this point, I just want to lie down in a bog and let it have me. because there's no discourse in the bog. no terfs in the bog. just a stubborn fuck you refusal to disappear: you want my body gone, but my body will STILL BE HERE. my self will still be here. I refuse to decompose under your hatred, to shed my skin and let my bones crumble away until I become what you want me to become. years after your bigotry loses its power, I'll have stuck around. wrinkled, maybe, and tougher than before, but this bog body ain't rotting.

fuck terfs. bog mummies say TRANS RIGHTS

Always Look After You - Oneshot

(Freddie Mercury X Fem!Reader)

After an incident goes down with a pervy fan, the paparazzi do their best to attack you; Freddie doesn't take kindly to it (gifs not mine)

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Ppl being turds, verbal sexual harassment, unwanted touching, Freddie getting angry

*Can be read as OG Freddie, or BoRap Freddie. Reader is a member of the band

It was worse than all of you had thought; without fail, just like everything else the band did, word got out about an incident---a bad incident. Last week after a gig at the Rainbow Theater, things got messy between you and a male fan. Usually when exiting a venue, Queen would just beeline for the limo, climb in and drive off.

But that night had gone extremely well concerning a great show and a positive turnout so all of you agreed to show a bit more appreciation towards the adoring audience. Once exiting the place, the band branched out to the roped off areas where the people were cheering over the fact that Queen was only feet away from them. It was going nicely too; countless autographs were signed as well as fun, friendly conversations with them. Just like each member, you also had those rabid fans who loved you completely for your talent and good looks.

Being a humble girl, kind comments often made you blush a bit, but nevertheless, concert after concert, the work on those electric violin solos of yours were gaining more and more attention every time. About twenty minutes in, you found yourself kind of floating amongst the crowd, smiling obliviously at all the positive attention for you and the boys, but it wasn't long before a man had caught your attention. He waved a bit, calling your name happily. So you naturally gravitated towards him and said a hello.

"Hello sir." You smiled.

"Hi (Y/N), wow it's great to meet you."

He had been nervously holding out an autograph book, which you kindly took and began to write your signature.

"Oh thanks, you too. Did you enjoy the show tonight?"

"Sure did, it was the best! And your violin skills are getting better all the time."

What a sweet guy.

"I appreciate that but honestly I think it was John who stole the show tonight."

He leaned in closer

"Well, between me and you, you're always the one to steal the show."

"Aww, well just make sure Freddie doesn't hear you say that." Both of you chuckled at the thought of Freddie getting jealous.

Afterwards, you handed him his pen and book back, intending to walk around a bit more but was suddenly stopped by his grip on your wrist. Okay, okay, no big deal, right? He probably just wanted to say one more thing and had to get your attention.

"Was there something else?" You asked, getting a bit uncomfortable.

His whole disposition seemed to evolve right in front of you and It was a little scary actually; his initially kind eyes almost went from cheery to maybe a bit dark, dare you say, hungry? His voice morphed too as it slightly purred, making your body freeze since you'd never had to deal with something like this before.

"How do you feel about getting out of here with me? I know a great club around here that's even 'clothing optional'. Judging by the way you move up there in those tight clothes, you're probably dying to let that gorgeous skin breathe."

Holy crap, this could not be happening. By this point he was even caressing your forearm, creating even more fearful adrenaline inside you; his grip had gotten tighter too. This may have been inappropriate, but the last thing you wanted was for everyone around you to see this esteemed band member 'attack' a fan; not at least without attempt possibly everything before going into defense mode. Why try fight when you could try flight, correct? Trying to maintain your composure, you stopped trying to pull away for a minute.

"U-uh, well, sorry sir, but I have a boyfriend."

You tried to get away again, but his fingers locked around you harder, and slowly pulled you closer.

"You what?! Who is it?!" His voice getting rather grating.

"That's not your business!"

"Is it one of them? You one of their whores?" He asked, nodding towards Freddie, Roger, John and Brian, who at the moment were totally unaware of what was happening just yards away. One of them you were seeing, but a whole you were not. At the time, you and Freddie had become an item only a few weeks ago, and chose to wait before announcing, just to make sure it was going anywhere for real. Only the other boys of Queen knew of this arrangement.

"Let go!" You shrieked, dropping all concern over the fact you were surrounded by fans, enough was enough! When you tried to get away again, he yanked you to his side, trying to cop a kiss. But before he could even pin your arm down to your waist, you immediately used it clock him on the side of his face over and over until he let go, and for good measure, kicked your boot to his crotch, and you kicked hard too.

The commotion was still very chaotic and people all over were panicking since your scream had been a kind of blind curveball to those minding their own business. The boys caught on to the madness erupting around them and saw you jumping back from where you were. All they knew was that it seemed you were in potential danger, and without having to exchange glances or words, all four of them corralled around you protectively, begging to know what happened.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?" John said, rubbing your shoulders.

You were still a little shaken.

"Y-yeah, I think so."

Brian and Roger quickly hugged you, trying to calm your obviously panicked vibe. But Freddie on the other hand, he marched right in front of you, with fear in his eyes.

"(Y/N) Darling, what happened? Are you hurt? Tell me!" He pleaded, cupping your face .

"That guy on the ground there; he...he grabbed me and he wanted me to go to a club with him. I tried to get away, but he wouldn't let go, so I hit him."

"He grabbed you?!" Rogee yelled.

"Did he hurt you?" Freddie repeated.

You held your arm up, showing them the slightly bloody nail scratches this perv left. It didn't hurt that much, but it left you scared for sure. No one had ever put their hands on you like that before. All of them gasped a bit at the minor injury. One of their own had been hurt, and that was not a light issue in the slightest. Especially not to Freddie, your very protective boyfriend. When he gawked at the wound, the shock from this began to turn to rage as he slowly turned and saw the culprit still trying to stand and recover from the nasty kick you gave him. The punches you landed may hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain that the lead singer was about to inflict.

In the most unsubtle way, Freddie screamed and ran for the perv and tried to practically maul him right there, but the rest of the guys held him back; they didn't like you getting hurt either, but the last thing they needed was more physical violence going down right now.

"YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

One week later:

While you and the boys agreed to try to put that awful memory behind you, Freddie was still seething over the fact he didn't get to kick that guy's ass before being restrained. The press seemed to be quite hung up on it too, but the headlines didn't rule in your favorite at all. In fact, the victim in the scenario according to everyone else was that 'Poor man who just wanted to meet his favorite band'. No one knows how he did it, but in just seven short days, he had spread his version of the story all over the place and made it sound like it was you, the crazy hormonal female that went ape after he asked for an autograph.

Pictures in all the papers consisted of shots of you punching and throwing him to the ground in addition to Freddie lunging like a panther and screaming like a madman. Well he was mad--no, pissed that someone put his hands on you and for the most part, got away with it. The assault didn't stop there either. Queen was being sued all because you chose to defend yourself and it was an outrage.

To make things worse, a conference had been scheduled to talk about the new clothing line you and Freddie had collaborated on making, but with this under your belt, there's no way everyone there was gonna want to hear about yours and his original clothes. As you all anxiously stood in your green room, the pacing tension only seemed to increase. Freddie noticed your nervous self sitting depressed on the couch, and held you close to him, his lips lovingly pressed against your head.

He knew how scared you were and that you felt as if your career with Queen would be over. You didn't have to say it, but with him knowing you so well, he already figured you had considered leaving them so that the paparazzi would leave them alone.

"Don't even think about it." He wasn't about to lose contact with his love all because of some preposterous rumors.

"But Fred-"

"No 'buts' Darling; you're apart of the family and of my heart, so if you think for one second I'm going to allow these parasites to scare you away, then I'm ashamed."

The rest of them completely agreed. They loved you, and were more than willing to go through all the bad press. Thick and thin, Queen was going to stay together whether people liked it or not. As you looked up at the rest of them for reassurance, Brian tenderly smiled and put his hand out for you to grab. With your hand, you stretched out took it, feeling Roger and John hug you from left and right. The loyalty was astounding as most bands would have asked the elephant in the room to make itself scarce, but no, not with them. You sniffled out a thank you and felt your boyfriend complete the embracing circle; just then, Miami came out but quickly took a step back to let you all finish your moment.

"Miami?" Fred asked.

"They're uh, they're ready for you all."

Freddie nodded, motioning for everyone to follow him out there. As you all walked past Miami, he gently put his hand on your shoulder. The quiet gentleman was just as angry about this incident. Just like the boys were like his sons, you were like a daughter to him, and to see his daughter upset broke his heart.

"I'm terribly sorry this happened, (Y/N). Had I been there, me and Freddie would have both torn him apart."

"Thanks Jim."

The next thirty seconds of you walking out in front of all those reporters seemed to go into slo mo. The flashing camera, the judgemental expressions, the overlapping voices...be strong. All five band members cautiously sat, awaiting the inevitable. Brian calmly spoke up first and asked if anyone had any questions, and like it was a trigger word, the hurricane of one question on top of another, all from different voices made you shudder. Freddie sensed the fear, and carefully massaged your hand under the desk where no one could see.

For a while, the questions were surprisingly relevant to the clothing line. It seemed as if many of the journalists were also apprehensive about asking of a sensitive topic, which really helped you relax a bit. The calm coming over you also helped the guys to ease up as well.

"Who's idea was it to start the clothing line? (Y/N)s or Freddie's?"

"Well mine of course, my dear." Freddie boasted. "(Y/N) is very smart, but I'm still the brains of the operation."

You playfully shook your head, making the reporters laugh.

"(Y/N), which articles of clothing would you say is your strong point in designing?"

"Hmm. I think it'd have to be stylish shirts, along with accessories like scarves and hats, I've always got so many ideas for them."

"Has there been a lot of arguments over which designs should be kept and scrapped?"

"Oh it's no different than the boys arguing over music. But, before I can beat any sense into them, our manager, Miami holds me back." You chuckled.

"You mean just like how you beat that gentleman outside the theater last week?"

That question came out of nowhere so fast, it made you blank and stutter for a moment. Maybe using the word beat wasn't a good idea; you swear you didn't mean for all of this to start.

"I-I'm sorry?" You coyly asked.

"At the Rainbow Theater. You physically assaulted a fan after he asked for an autograph, is that true?"

"No, it isn't." And it begins...

"We have photographic evidence of you hitting him."

"I only hit him because---"

"Do you plan on taking any anger management classes?"

"I don't have any anger issues."

"He had a black eye and a cracked jaw along with severe damage to his privates."

"But he--"

"Did your parents used to beat you as a child?"

"M-my parents never put their hands on me."

"SHE'S LYING." A voice called from the crowd. It came out so loudly that everyone shut up immediately. When everyone in the room peered to the back, that same piece of crap who put his hands on you walked out of nowhere. His black eye was still dark as a shadow and his walk was definitely a bit crippled. Wow did you really hit him that hard? The boys all tensed and nearly growled at the scum before them.

"This whore is doing her best to hide her real self. All I wanted was an autograph, but then like a psycho, she wailed on me like a dog on raw meat."

"Liar!" Brian shouted

"Stop trying to defend your plaything, May. She's a monster and deserves punishment, I deserve compensation! Tell me (Y/N), who do you plan on attacking next? Another woman? a child maybe?"

Your chest began to unevenly breathe as your heart pounded; a panic attack was definitely coming on, and Freddie could feel the sweat forming on the palm he was rubbing. You wanted more than anything to tell them the real story, but all your thoughts were racing way too fast. Before you knew it, the cameras all began to flash in unison again and the constant questions poured while the accuser kept pointing and calling you every possible derogatory word. Freddie glanced at you and saw no difference between your fear or a deer staring into headlights. He felt your palm go limp as you began to dissociate and he couldn't stay calm anymore.

The king of Queen sprang to his feet and bellowed as loudly as possible.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Once again, it went quiet and all attention went to him. John saw how frightened you were and gently led you back to the green room.

"Do you all want the real story? I'll give you the real story! We were all there. This sorry excuse of a man put his hands on one of my bandmates. She showed clear as day that she didn't want to be touched, and then he gripped her and tried to force himself on her. She acted upon self defense, and what he got was even less than he deserved. This pissflap deserves to go to prison and be made into every convict's girlfriend!"

Fred reached into his pocket, pulling out a polaroid photo.

"This photo...contains proof of the damage he inflicted on her. He grabbed her so tightly against her will that it left scratches and made her bleed! This man is no victim, he's a roach beneath my shoe...a roach that I'll make sure he wished was still hiding under the fridge he crawled out of!"

The journalists were writing everything down, transfixed on this side of the story they'd never heard. Was this true? Was Freddie trying to cover his friend's crime? Roger saw the doubt on everyone's faces and when your aggressor scoffed, he

the drummer snatched the photo from Freddie and handed it to Miami, whispering something in his ear. The manager nodded and kindly gave it to a photographer. The Polaroid began to get passed around, tension growing and judging faces now pointing to this man. They could tell the arm in the photo was definitely yours because you'd been wearing your signature zodiac bracelet; something you never went without.

"Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a girl to check on." Freddie announced.

As the band headed back, the journalists had already begun swarming the culprit. It seemed their work was done.

You were still shaking on the couch, and that loving boyfriend of yours wrapped his jacket around your shoulders.

"Let's go home." He whispered.

Without any fight, your feet stood with his and walked out with him, only upon going outside, he moved his jacket from your shoulders, to covering your head. He didn't want anyone in the press to see you upset, nor want you to see that idiot in the window. The limo was already waiting, and once you two piled in, he told the driver to return to Garden Lodge.

Freddie was still holding you tight, rubbing your back.

He kissed your head.

"I want this to be over, Freddie."

"It's alright my Love. I showed them the picture and told the whole story. I don't think it's quite over yet, but I think most will know you're innocent."

Your heart lightened at that. It was truly a relief knowing that your honor meant everything to him.

"Now what?" You sniffled.

"We go home. We get into our pajamas. And we binge watch all the comedies we can find, because I want to see you smile."

And just as he promised, you and Freddie spent the rest of the day cuddling on the couch with you, under a pile of blankets and of course, his cats.

THE END

Thanks for reading! Find more from me on the Masterlist

Fearghal & Kaitlin

Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]

I like a pic. It's been four days and nothing and I'm not comfortable reaching out bc I think that if a guy is interested he would make it known. He seemed that way but the night we saw each other I was nervous and self conscious and maybe he felt (saw) that energy. I feel really regretful about it And I think maybe that's why he isn't interested. I wanted to go to the bathroom but I was too nervous to and I didn't check in the mirror to see what I looked like. I know this may sound silly but

It doesn’t sound silly at all. I was actually in a really similar situation, where I went out with this guy who asked me out and who seemed really into me. We were so compatible and it was one of the easier and most natural dates I’ve ever had. And prior to that date we were texting a lot and he was saying how he thinks I’m so funny and interesting and beautiful. And now I’m getting the picture that he is just in it for sex and was just saying those things.

I hate to say it because it seems like such a bleak picture, but men lie. Guys tell you what they think you want to hear and aren’t actually sincere about it. Also, I was talking to this other man for months. We would call eachother every day and talk all the time. And then he’d just drop off the face of the earth for a week or so an use the excuse that he sabotages relationships, and doesn’t know how to be consistent blah blah.

I think the thing to really realize and come to terms with is that there are so many factors that make you compatible. And I’ve met guys who I’ve really liked and hit it off with, but it just wasn’t the right time for me or we were looking for different things. Sometimes it’s just them. Especially guys under the age of 25 are so rarely interested in something real. And even if they are they don’t know how to go about it for whatever reason.

I honestly wouldn’t overthink it or worry that it’s something you did. Even if I were to meet a great guy right now I wouldn’t start a relationship because I’m moving in a few months and will need to focus on my studies and work. So it’s not that I don’t meet some good people it’s just that I’m mentally closed off from the possibility of a relationship developing to a certain point. 

And finally, just because you had a great date and like him doesn’t mean you’re compatible or would have a good relationship. Sometimes it takes time to really find those things out. And I was thinking about that today with regards to the guy I went out with who I was really taken by. When you get to know someone through text or through a few hangouts, you don’t actually have a sense of that person- what they like, what their lifestyle is like, how loyal they’d be etc. 

It’s really easy to build up in your head this sort of fantasy story. We have one positive experience with a person and get hooked on that feeling. We want to prolong the positive sensation so we dwell more on that feeling and project it into the future. And that becomes dangerous when we use those fantasies to inform out expectations. because happiness is reality - expectation. 

It is normal and fun to envision things with the people you like. But as a woman living in this era and given what dating is, I would caution letting those fantasies seep into your expectations. I don’t generally trust men until after the 4th date. And that’s only if I have a genuine good feeling about their intentions. 

A while ago I was seeing this guy who acted like he wanted to be exclusive. And he’d tell me how he wanted to go away with me on a weekend trip and he was talking about all of these beaches he wanted to check out together etc. And he was so into me, much more than I explicitly was with him- and then one night after we had a date I told him that I want him to initiate our next hangout because I’m getting sick of texting first. And since I said that I have literally not heard from him… Not that I care because I wasn’t invested in him at all. But that’s the thing, guys can and do deliberately say things they think you want to hear to get what they want in the moment. 

I honestly could give you so many more countless examples of men I’ve dated or who have asked me out who have just blatantly lied to me and deceived me. Not to say all men are bad, but I just find guys in their early 20s to be deceptive and manipulative. So as much as it’s easy to say don’t take it to heart or don’t worry about it- if this guy can’t take the time to send you a few messages then he’s probably not interested and definitely not worth your time. There is no point in pursuing someone who can’t keep those simple promises, and who is inconsistent. Don’t make time for people like that in your life. 

I know it sucks to feel lied to, or to feel rejected, or whatnot. But like I said, there are so many reasons why someone doesn’t continue to show interest. And I truly believe that so much of it has to do with where that person is and what kind of lifestyle they want to pursue. And once you decide on that, people can do a damn good job of shutting out possibility or ignoring what could potentially be a good thing. 

(Disclaimer: I’m sure there are women who are just as deceptive and manipulative- having not dated women I cannot speak to this but if there are men who read this and feel outraged or have similar experience with women, please share your stories or leave me a message. Also not saying all men are terrible [quite the opposite I happen to deeply value men], but given my biased sample I haven’t found too many 20 somethings who are all that transparent and loyal.)

Insomnia

For as annoying as he was in most every way, Evergreen would admit, Elfman was a rather good listener.

This, of course, stemmed from the fact that he grew up with two sisters, both an elder and younger one, which made it a necessity for him to form such an ability. Boy, was it some ability. It was almost a skill all in itself.

He was able to handle her most tedious of stories. There were even times that she felt sorry for him, honestly. It was just…no guy had ever listened to her before. Not like that.

Elfman would sit there with her, after she got home from a training session with her teammates, and would listen to her rant about how Bickslow was just a big jerk and Freed never took her seriously. Or how all she wanted was Laxus' approval, but he never gave it.

Then there were the times that she argued with someone up at the guild, like Erza or someone. He'd have to hear about that for a good three days.

But he'd only sit there, on the couch, making the appropriate grunts of agreement or disapproval when he was supposed to, showing his outrage at the exact moments she wanted him to, and never, ever tried to interrupt her with an easy fix to whatever it was she was harping on.

He might be a big weeper, talk too much about being a man, and definitely offended her on accident half the time, but there would never be an easier person to talk to than Elfman Strauss.

Maybe that's why she eventually found impossible to just shut up around him. When they were alone, laying around her apartment, suddenly all the things she kept to herself just came spilling out. It wasn't even on purpose anymore. She wasn't testing the water or venting. It was actually not possible to keep her trap shut around the big oaf.

That alone was what led her into the…incident one night.

He was sleeping over and was mostly asleep while she only laid there next to him, trying hard join him in slumber, but it was eluding her for some reason. Which meant that he wasn't allowed to sleep because, well, that just wouldn't be fair.

"Elf?"

She got a slight grunt out of him. Shifting closer to the man as he was sleeping on his back, she rested a hand on his chest.

"You awake?"

Another grunt.

Laying her head against his chest then, she took to stroking his chest. Anything to keep him up.

"I can't sleep," she said after a moment. That one didn't get a grunt. Frowning, she repeated his name until he stirred a little.

"Yeah?" he whispered. "What's up?"

"I can't fall asleep," she told him softly. "So-"

"Ever-"

"It's not fair that you can if I can't."

"What sorta sense does that make?"

"Plenty."

Groaning slightly, he peeked open his eyes. "Did you wanna…do something? Like talk or something?"

"There's not really anything to talk about," she told him with a sigh. She should have just stopped there, looking back at it. But still, it was very true that she just could not keep from telling that man things. "Except…I just can't sleep. I keep dreaming about my parents and I-"

She stopped herself right there, trying to suck back in the words. But life doesn't work that way.

"Your parents, huh?" Elfman mumbled sleepily, his hand coming up then to cradle her head. She felt so small against him sometimes, almost tiny. It was…nice.

"Yeah," she whispered, swallowing. "It's stupid. Never mind."

"Mmmm." His eyes were shut and she knew he was trying hard to stay away. "My parents died. Long time ago now. Worked to the bone too."

"Yeah, I know."

"Mira hates to talk about it and Lisanna's memory's fuzzy," he added softly. "But I remember them."

"I remember mine too."

Why was she talking? Seriously, why? Maybe he had some sort of underlying power that made her tell the truth?

It'd make sense, because he was the only person that she felt the need to bare it all for, figuratively. And, well, literally too, fine, but he wasn't so special in that category.

"You never talk about them," he mumbled. "Are they…gone?"

"I dunno."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, Elfman. That's what I mean."

"Oh."

"They… My mother left my father," she said slowly, closing her own eyes as she snuggled close to him. It was rare for her to be the affectionate one, so he knew she must be hurting. "When I was a baby. And I… I don't know what happened to my father."

"Did he leave you?"

"No," she sighed. "I left him."

"I thought that you've been with Fairy Tail since you were-"

"A child, yes."

"Then-"

"I ran away," she told him. She really wanted to stop talking. She didn't tell people these kinds of things. Because they didn't matter. At all. They were in the past. Dead. So far back that they only haunted her in her darkest moments.

"That had to have been scary," he said, peeking an eye open to look down at her. She didn't want to look at him though and kept hers closed. Besides, she had her glasses off. "Ever."

"You would know," she grumbled, trying to find a way back to her true self, to stop being so soft around him. She hated being soft. "You ran away too. Or were ran out, I guess."

"I had Mira to protect me," he reasoned. "She was quite the man."

"I bet."

"How old were you when you-"

"Young."

"Then see? We didn't leave until I was…eleven or so, I guess," he said. "I was already a man by then!"

"I never, once, thought of you as a man when we were children. Ever."

"Well, you were wrong."

"Elfman-"

"I just meant that you had to have been in a real bad spot," he said then, letting his hand fall so that he was no loner holding her. Ever didn't know why he did this and frowned at it, opening her eyes once more. "To know that young that you needed to get out of there."

"Yeah, well." She shifted then, so that she was on the bed, and not on him, snuggling up under his arm, to make him hold her. He accommodated this because, as previously stated, the times were rare that he got these honors. "He probably would have found me, if I didn't find Fairy Tail first."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Well, yeah," she said. "I was just alone and then… I saw it. The sign. Fairy Tail. And you know that I just…"

"You're the best fairy there is, Ever."

She didn't hate the smile that found its way onto her lips then. She just didn't enjoy it.

"But he was definitely looking for me," she took to insisting then."

"Okay."

"He was, Elfman. He had to be. He loved me. He just didn't…know how to take care of a little girl. That was all."

"I believe you."

"There's nothing to believe! It's the truth."

"I know."

"He loved me," she whispered, closing her eyes again as Elfman rolled onto his side, taking to stroking the back of her head gently. "Loves me, I mean. I know that he does. We're... It was just too hard for him. I mean, you couldn't raise a child alone, could you?"

"No," he whispered. "I couldn't."

"And I was always being bad," she kept up. "I was always trying to turn people to stone. Even when I didn't mean to, I would end up doing it. What was he supposed to do, Elfman? I couldn't go around doing that."

"I know."

"I was… I was the one that was wrong," she said softly. "Not him. And I shouldn't have left. Who was going to take care of him? I was…so selfish. It wasn't fair. I just left him all alone. He could hardly get up to go to work in the morning unless I forced him. And then all the time that he probably wasted on me, trying to find me. He probably still looks for me now. I know he does. He has to. Because…I was all he had. He said so. He meant it."

Elfman made a soft sound then, not a grunt or a sigh. Just a noise. To let her know that he was still awake and could still hear her.

"I can still remember him, the night I left," she said, turning to lay on her side as well and bury her face in his chest. It was so broad that it was easy to lose herself in it. "He was… He'd been drinking the whole… It was so late. And he had…soiled himself. He wanted me to run him a bath. I just wanted to go to sleep, Elfman. That's all. But he'd done so much for me, so he expected me to help him. I should have helped him. He was calling my name. My…real name."

"Your real-"

"'Evelyn', he called. 'Evie,' he yelled. But I didn't care. I was upset. And I just…I wanted to sleep." She didn't realize that she was sniffling or that there were tears, but she was and there were. She couldn't stop them even if she tried. She didn't. "But that made him so angry. And… He was going to hurt me. I just knew it."

"Did you…turn him into a statue or-"

"No," she sighed. "I never would do that. I just…ran. And ran. And ran. And when I got tired of running, I was so far from home that… I was in a forest. And I fell asleep, under a tree. And then I woke up and ran some more. And then I would sleep. And then I would run. Until I got here.

"I mean, I ran into problems. A…lot of problems. Not to mention, it took awhile. I came from far away. But then again, didn't we all?"

He only bowed his head though, resting his face in her brown tangles. "Do you ever want to…find out? About him?"

"No." Her voice was shaky then, something that she hated. "I… I don't ever want to see him again."

"Then you won't," Elfman decided then and there. She usually hated when he did that, decided something for the two of them, when she was clearly the one that was in charge of any and every situation she was involved in. "Ever, Ever."

He usually snickered when he did that, said that, but that time he was just so serious, so much like himself. She knew how others teased him or thought that he was all bombastic, but she saw through all of that. He was more than just talk. He was…the strongest man she knew.

Other than Laxus. That was just a given. But to her, Laxus wasn't a man. No, he was a god.

"So don't think about it anymore," Elfman whispered against the top of her head. "What I say goes, huh?"

"Yeah," she whispered, not opening her eyes then. The tears had stopped and she was just…tired. Ha. Funny how that works.

When she shifted away from him, back over to her side of their too tiny bed (they hardly had sides), he only stayed how he was, watching her.

"You feel better?"

"Mmmm."

Gently, he patted her head. "I love you, Ever."

He liked to say that a lot and, honestly, she liked to hear it. But she wouldn't say it back to him. Not typically.

Still, Elfman was forever the optimist and gave her a chance to return his feelings. And she did. Just not verbally.

"I gotta meet Lisanna in the morning for training," Elfman sighed as he shifted to lay on his other side, giving her his back. "So are you okay now? You asleep finally?"

She didn't want to talk to him anymore, which Elfman took as a good thing. Honestly, she was just glad he hadn't started crying or anything along with her. He must have been too tired because usually, a story like that could send him into hysterics for hours.

It was only once he was snoring once more that she let out a slight sigh, curling up to his back, as if for warmth.

"I love you too, Elf," she whispered because, well, like she said, it was just too hard to keep things from him. Even when he wasn't dying to know something, it somehow found its way crawling out of her mouth. And the things that he did want to know? Those came out when he was fast asleep.

Then, because she was still her, she only pressed a kiss to his back before bowing her head and trying to actually drift off once more. Not before whispering one last thing.

"You big idiot."

And with that, she fell asleep.