Behind the Scenes of The Star Beast - Part Three

Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s Star Beast Set Visit in DWM 597:

Meanwhile on set, Catherine Tate is struggling to carry a stack of cardboard boxes through the market. To be fair, it’s a lofty stack. Her vision is impaired. She cannot see. “I think this is the reason I don’t drive,” she says. “I’ve got no brain for spacial awareness. How do I look?” “Amazing,” says Yasmin Finney (known as Yaz), who plays Donna’s daughter, Rose. “This is certainly a moment,” she adds. “Yes, it is, thank you,” says Catherine, dropping the boxes. None of this is in the script. “How can I make it look like I know what I’m doing?” Here’s what’s scripted: “Hold on. Hold on! Let me help,” says the Doctor, running over. He takes the top box and sees who it is – oh no! “Thank you very much,” says Donna. Very calmly, the Doctor puts the box back. “Oi! Do you mind?!” she says. “If you’re finished playing games, mister.”

Despite “the incredible scope” – Rachel’s words [Rachel Talalay, director] – of this Camden shoot, it’s characterful moments like this one, the Doctor and Donna meeting again after all these years, that make The Star Beast’s hearts beat. “Actors of this calibre don’t lose sight of that,” says Rachel, “and neither must I. Russell has written it so brilliantly – I adore Russell – so I have to make sure these moments work. They’re the emotional core of this episode, and this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the Doctor and Donna, back together! Setting eyes on each other again…” “Would I keep hold of the box?” wonders David. “I suppose I’ve got to be polite somehow.” “I think it’s that or he runs away,” agrees Rachel. “Yeah, sure. No, absolutely.” “Still looking good,” Yaz whispers to Catherine, encouragingly, as the boxes are re-stacked. “I know,” Catherine whispers back, “I’m feeling damn fine. I think it’s the shoes.” She has a question for Rachel: “When I say, ‘This stuff’s not mine, it’s hers. Oh, where’s she gone? Rose! ROSE!’, am I looking at him” – this is David – “or at the boxes, or looking around for Yaz?” “Well…” replies Rachel (this is the director’s lot: fielding dozens of question every minute), “I think you’d be looking at David, but what feels more natural? And when you do the very loud ‘ROSE!’, is that working for you both?” “It’s working for me,” says David. “It’s quite weird, she’s shouting it in my face –” “Donna’s in her own world, isn’t she?” says Catherine. “I like that.” “I like that too,” says David. So does Rachel. “I totally trust you guys’ instincts.” “Oh, I wouldn’t do that,” says Catherine, with a chortle.

A huge THANK YOU to everyone who posted set photos

I’ll post additional parts in the coming months with the  #whoBtsBeast tag. The full episode list is [ here ]

It was so cheesy and campy and ridiculous and I can't wait for more...

The Three Exes of Eddie Munson

Part ten

Series masterlist

“Of course I still love you,” you blurted out without thinking.

You were a doctor, trained to keep a straight face yet you found yourself crumbling at Eddie’s feet in a heart beat.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, stepping closer to you.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “But you hurt me, Eddie. And I don’t know if I like who you are right now.”

“I’m better now. That shit they say about me in the tabloids isn’t true. I mean it used to be but I’m really really doing better now. You can even ask my manager.”

“I want to believe you. I really do.”

“Then tell me what you need me to do because I am so tired of pretending that my heart doesn’t belong to you. Like I don’t wake up and immediately think about you. Like every song I write isn’t for you,” he said, grabbing your hands.

“How is this supposed to work? I’m here and you’re in California…”

“Then I’ll come back here,” Eddie said immediately.

You let out a laugh. “You see how this town reacted about everything.”

“No, the people who live here and know us didn’t care. It was the fans that did. It might be crazy at first but it’ll die down. It always does,” Eddie told you.

You chewed on your lip. “But a fan showed up to my job and I’m on leave. What if that happens again? They got legal involved and everything.”

“Baby, I have lawyers and publicists like you wouldn’t believe. I can fix that with a snap of my fingers. Sounds like the hospital needs better security to protect its doctors,” he raised his brows at you, alluding to what his legal team was about to do.

You thought for a moment, running the possibility through your mind.

This could real hurt or it could be great.

You glanced towards the front door to see Steve watching you and Eddie as you held hands. He gave you a small smile.

-

Six months later the world had forgotten about the three exes of Eddie Munson.

There was an uproar at first, fans going crazy but then things calmed down like Eddie said they would.

Eddie retired from preforming, choosing to produce music in the background instead.

You went back to work at the hospital after some strong persuasion from Eddie’s legal team.

As for you and Eddie’s relationship, things were good. There was a lot of trust building at first but now you felt like you could breathe again and you were enjoying your time with him by your side again.

Donna got out of jail. She was loose somewhere in the world. You were worried all of the time for you and Eddie’s safety but you knew you would feel better someday in the future when things were even more settled.

“There’s my favorite doctor,” Eddie cooed as you walked through the front door.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. And my favorite ex,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your lips before you could protest.

You pinched his arm as he cackled.

Some things never change.

I love RTD's writing, and it was his era that made me fall in love with the show as a kid. When it was announced he was coming back, my reaction was nothing short of ecstasy.

When the rumours began to swirl that we'd be getting a Tennant-centric special with the Doctor regenerating BACK into him, I was very much "please no", but also thinking "surely, RTD wouldn't actually do this. There's NO WAY he'd actually do this".

Then Ncuti Gatwa was announced, amazing, wonderful. He'll be fantastic, no doubt about it.

Then we got the Tennant and Tate 60th announcement. At that point, the cracks began to show. Yes, my favourite companion and one of my favourite Doctors. I was excited, but I was waiting for more. We've already seen David Tennant's Doctor and Donna Noble written by Russell T Davies, and it was great. But for an anniversary special, the things that bring different eras of the show together in celebration of its history... pretty underwhelming.

Then the thing I was dreading most, the Doctor regenerating back into Tennant - something that had been the refuge of obsessives making badly edited fan videos from 2010 onwards - actually happened. And not only that, but he regenerated straight out of Whittaker's outfit into a Tennant-esque one. Ostensibly because RTD didn't want the image of Tennant in Whittaker's outfit to be used to whip up anti-drag or transphobic hate. Despite the fact that 1) Whittaker went out of her way to make her outfit gender neutral, so that all fans would be able to dress up as her Doctor and feel included and 2) surely it's more important to broadcast the message that anyone of any gender can wear any clothes they want, and there's nothing wrong with it?

The initial Tennant/Tate announcement was in May 2022. My initial dissatisfaction was met with responses like "The episodes are ages away, just wait and see". We're fifteen months on, and no further returning characters have been announced. As far as we know, these specials will still be primarily focused on Tennant, Tate and Donna's supporting cast (that said, the one thing in all this I'm happy about is seeing Bernard Cribbins again).

Of course, that doesn't mean there's been no announcements about the episodes at all. Segun Akinola's decided to leave, so we're getting a new composer. That's exciting, I wonder who it'll be? Oh, brilliant, it's Murray Gold. Again. In RTD's own words, "is anyone surprised?". Surprised? No. But fair to say my enthusiasm went from very low to absolute zero.

Gold is great as what he does, but we just had Akinola, an incredibly skilled composer who poured his heart and soul into the show, but was never given a chance by a chunk of the fandom because he tried something different to Gold or just because they didn't like the Chibnall era as a whole. So RTD could've brought in some new talent, with a completely fresh take, but instead chose to bring back yet another person from his era, who did 10 seasons on the show, and the one person the fandom needs to move the fuck on from the most.

So that's a special meant to celebrate 60 years of the show, but specifically focused on one era of it? Coincidentally, the era of the guy writing it?

And for those who dismiss any criticism of this being RTD centric with "But Beep the Meep/The Toymaker!!!", ask yourselves this: If Chibnall stayed on and did the 60th as nothing but a Thirteen and Yaz story, but with Beep/Toymaker, or if Moffat come back and done the same with his characters, would there be anything other than across the board outrage? Classic villains do not an anniversary special make, since we've had them in every season since the revival.

I'm sure the episodes will be genuinely good, and I'll certainly be watching. Any DW is better than no DW, but of all the things they could've done for an anniversary special, this is practically an insult to the show's history.

I'll be patiently waiting for Ncuti Gatwa's era, which looks genuinely new and exciting.

Rant over.

the most heartbreaking moments of the episode were showing how STRONG the doctor and donna's friendship was and is

the doctor's immediate grief and fear seeing donna and getting dragged into her family's life. immediately terrified that he would be the reason for her death. but he misses her so so much. "she's my best friend. I absolutely love her" something the doctor has NEVER been able to say about people before so easily. with thirteen and yaz, she struggled to even admit that there were feelings and she could never voice them. all the years of pent up regret about rose and donna and every companion that's come before and after. the doctor does NOT love easily, especially ten. but now we have fourteen! who has his old face and he doesn't know why but donna is there!! and it's so unexpected and all those years apart falling in love with others and never being able to express it and suddenly he so easily puts his heart on his sleeve. because he loves donna noble soooo much and he's had so many years to regret not being open

and oh, donna. when she talks to her mom early into the episode and says that there's something missing. she had something wonderful and it's gone. the line that really broke me was when she said she turns to look at her side and she KNOWS there used to be something there but she can't remember it. the doctor gave her a winning lottery ticket and she gives it all away! because the part of her that knows something is missing knows that it was kind, and she was kind, and that it was something he would do. saving people. later in the episode the doctor hands her his sonic and she reaches out in turn to grab it like it's ingrained in her, a reflex. and she has a look on her face like she starts to realize that this is what was missing at her side. WHO was missing. and all of this builds up and when she sees the doctor running towards danger, she runs after without a second thought

she was at his side. he was at hers. the doctor, after not seeing her for hundreds of years, remembers exactly how she likes her coffee. remembers every moment with her, good and bad. remembers the pain of losing her. but when donna wants to help, even if it kills her, he does it. he can't be the one who kills her but he missed that donna so much, so she remembers, and the doctor donna saves the world again. because donna is his best friend and she thinks she's nothing and he needed her to remember everything she's done and how much she means to him and the universe. how important she is. even if she dies

my heart BROKE when the doctor thought donna was dead and when pushed against a wall with the threat of death looming over him, he says "do what you want" because how could he go on living having killed his best friend in the entire universe? the doctor with his heart on his sleeve for the first time dealing with this immense loss. HE SAID HE LOVES HER!! AND IT TOOK HIM BY SURPRISE TO HEAR IT SAID AND NOW SHE'S DEAD. but she's not dead and she's so so alive and losing her killed him once and it won't happen again

donna can live and she has a family and where she once was going to travel with the doctor until the day she died, she can't anymore. but she still needs him in her life! her second shadow needs to stop by for a cup of tea and dinner parties because they can both live now! and I so so so hope that we get to see the doctor love donna openly in the next two episodes and open up to her, to let her in where the doctor never could with companions before because the doctor was always so so afraid that if people knew the doctor loved them, they would be ripped away

Short Nocturn in Gotham prompt

I have an idea, and no brain space for it so here ya go. If anyone makes a story off this, please tag me!

This is a dp x dc crossover. And Anger Management because I’m obsessed with Jazz x Jason.

Jazz lives in Gotham, and works as a psychologist for Arkham. Things are going as normal as can be expected for Gotham and an Amity Parker. She’s only dealt with a few muggings and kept her head down because she’s Liminal! and doesn’t want to get the attention of a certain group of vigilantes.

What if Nocturn came to Gotham? (I don’t remember much of the episode so hopefully this tracks)

I would personally start it out trying to trick the reader. (Sorry, It’s fun!) A cute chapter or 2, where Jazz and Jason are together. So normal. Super accepting of each other. With so much fluff it hurts. But slowly, as the story goes on, more and more things seem off. Like déjà vu, like she’s done this before?? (Kind of similar to the vibe of that one Doctor Who episode where Donna Noble gets saved to the Library database. I can’t remember if it’s a 2 part episode? I think it’s called Silence in the Library??? I don’t know, and I’m not looking it up. If you see River Song’s first episode with David Tennant’s Doctor then you’ve got the right one. I think.) Jazz just slowly sees inconsistencies, and brushes them off at first. Hey, she deserves a chance to be happy, okay?! But as time goes on, there are just too many to ignore. She has a nagging feeling something’s not right and briefly wonders if it’s a ghost. But the only one that makes sense is Nocturn and he can’t be in Gotham right? Right??!

When she discovers Jason’s Red Hood, the revelation almost shocks her awake (total mistake on Nocturn’s part. He thought the vigilante thing would keep her asleep or deepen her sleep since it’s kinda normal for her with her brother). She does some quick thinking as she feels herself waking up, and yep, it’s definitely Nocturn, and decides she needs help stopping him. Makes a plan. Not a great one, but hey, it was last second. Literally.

Meanwhile Jason POV shows he’s struggling with believing it too. Thinks she’s too good to be true. (I don’t know anything about the DC universe. I’m going off of the fic Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante by @gilbirda Go check it out, it’s amazing!) And when she discovers he’s Red Hood, she does something ghostly (prolly eyes or strong stuff) and he’s like holy crap she’s a meta, and before he’s had a chance to process anything she says something like “Come find me when you wake up.” (gives me Edge of Tomorrow: Live. Die. Repeat. vibes which just feels fitting here) and shoots him in the chest right before shooting herself (non lethal bullets cause what if you can die in your dream?) and that shocks him awake.

She wakes up at her desk in Arkham to find out that all of Gotham is asleep. Thankfully this includes the villains. (But not for long!)

Does she call Danny or try to deal with it herself?

Is Danny the Ghost King?

Does Jason actually go or does Jazz have to find him?

She’s definitely questioning whether what she had with Jason was real. He does the same with her. Personally, I would keep Batman asleep for a lot of it but that’s because I know nothing about him aside from Wayne Family Adventures (which I’ve been told doesn’t count), the classic old show I watch when I’m sick, and a few episodes from Batman: The Brave and The Bold. Also Young Justice, but that was years ago. Before season 3.

If they have nightmares:

Would Jason’s nightmare be the Joker killing him?

Maybe Jazz’s nightmare is about Dan trying to kill her? Or coming back?

And that’s all I got. Maybe I’ll try to write something eventually, but right now my heart is heavy and my brain is fog. So if you have any ideas, go for it and tag me! I would love to know how you would change/finish it!

Anonymous: Hello! I was wondering if I could request something along the lines of student! Reader and professor! Donna having a one night stand (they both agree that they shouldn't really continue a relationship (despite them both wanting to)) and then later Donna announces that she's pregnant. The reader kinda thinks nothing of it until Donna looks them in the eyes after she is done with the announcement. Then after everyone leaves reader goes up to her and asks if the baby is theirs, Donna starts to break down because she didn't know how to tell them and that she felt guilty about it. Then reader comforts Donna and basically tells her 'i want this' (also sorry if this is like way too much or like out of your comfort zone)

This is a really good prompt. I’ve already written something where Donna is Y/N’s art professor, read that here! But, I left it pretty open-ended so I’m just going to add onto that. Reader, as usual, is gender neutral. Let’s get into it!

The date you had gone on with Donna with was… Magical. She is so sophisticated, but also very sweet. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted. That night was also quite… Steamy. You couldn’t help your attraction to her. You made the first move and gave her a quick kiss.

Donna kissed you back.

Your chemistry was undeniable.

The next morning, however, you could tell Donna was upset. You leaned over to kiss her in bed. As you got a better look at her face, you discover that she had been crying.

“Y/N… I can’t do this. You’re my student.” She says sadly. Honestly, she knows she is really just pushing you away because she’s scared. She likes you and could see herself falling for you… She’s never felt like this before.

Your heart is… Crushed. You’re already catching feelings. You beg her to change her mind, but she just tearfully asks you to leave.

Seeing Donna now is too painful. Even just catching a glimpse of her from across the quad is excruciating. You want her and it sucks that you can’t have her. You thought about transferring out of her class, but it’s too late in the semester. You decide to keep things as brief as possible in your art class with her. No pleasantries, no smiles… You also sit in the very back of the classroom now. You know that if you open yourself up at all to her, you’re just going to pathetically ask her to take you back and make a fool of yourself.

You need to just fucking graduate and get out of this school. You’re in the first half of your senior year, so you only have one more semester and you are done. You can do this. You just have to wait it out.

Unfortunately, by the time class registration rolls around… You still need a humanities course to graduate and the only available class is with… Donna. Fuck. This is gonna hurt.

Meanwhile, Donna is dealing with her own problems. In addition to being heartbroken about you, there’s been a completely earth-shattering revelation that’s come up. Not long after you two had spent the night together, Donna begins feeling incredibly exhausted… She’s sluggish and sick almost all the time. It’s all she can do to get up in the morning and spend time with Angie before she leaves for work. Finally, Donna decides to see her doctor and the diagnosis is… Life-changing. She’s pregnant. With your baby… She should have realized her symptoms sooner. She was pretty much always sick when she was pregnant with Angie.

She hates how happy she becomes when she thinks about having your baby. It… Tickles her, actually. She really does love you (Made a lot more apparent by your time apart from each other). But, she feels guilty. She doesn’t want to tie you down with a baby if that’s not what you want. You’re just about to graduate. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Initially, Donna decides that she won’t tell you. After all, what are the chances of you two bumping into each other on campus? But… Then she discovers that you’re taking another one of her classes. You either enjoy getting in her head… Or this is just a necessary evil for you to graduate. She can’t tell which reason she would hate the most. After agonizing over what to do, Donna comes to realize that she can’t possibly teach you three days a week without telling you that she’s having your baby.

——————————————————————————

After winter break, you are nervous. You saunter into your first class back with Donna and decide to sit in the back, as has become routine. You’re relieved she’s not here yet. It would be torment to be alone with her knowing how lovesick you are. More students flood in and you find out that you have some friends who are taking this course as well. You happily chat with them and goof off a bit before class starts. You’re thankful for the distraction.

Finally, class starts. It’s uncomfortable for you both, but it (Eventually) ends. Donna highlights the syllabus and points out notable dates. However, before she dismisses her students, she informs them that she will be taking maternity leave later in the semester and that a substitute will take over at that time. She gives you a pointed stare as she announces this.

Your eyes go wide in panic.

Donna can see the terror on your face. She knows first-hand how startling such a realization can be. She almost starts laughing sympathetically at your understandable reaction, but she chooses to keep a more neutral expression.

You wait for everyone else to file out of the room before you go up to her. Your knees are weak as you approach her. What if it is yours? That would… Be pretty great. You don’t want to make assumptions, though. Maybe she met somebody. Dammit. That thought makes your blood boil. You couldn’t take it if that’s the case.

As you get closer to Donna, you find that just being near her is making you feel better. It’s like you’ve been stranded in a desert with no food or water and happened upon an oasis. You’ve missed her greatly. As you take in the sight of Donna… You can see that her cheeks bear a healthy glow. Her hair is so shiny right now, too. Everything about her is radiant. Motherly… This suits her. Your eyes can’t help but look down at her tummy. Now that you’re focusing on it, you can see a small bump. Fuck… This is definitely for real.

Donna bites her lower lip and clasps her hands nervously which draws you out of your staring. What will you say? She braces herself for screaming and yelling.

After keeping your walls up for so long… You wrap your arms around her. Whether or not this baby is yours… You can’t imagine your life without her. You’re praying she will reconsider a relationship with you.

Donna gasps at your affection. She buries her face in your shoulder, feeling safe. She’s never felt more secure, truthfully.

You pull back and look her in the eyes. “Donna…” You say and brush a lock of her hair back.

Donna can see the unspoken question on your face. She nods wordlessly at you, hoping you won’t be upset.

At Donna’s confirmation, your face breaks into a wide grin. “You’re… Having my baby?” You ask quietly. Hoping you understood correctly.

Donna can’t help but giggle at how excited you look. “Yes, Y/N.” She says. “But, I don’t expect you to-”

You immediately hold her closer. “A baby?! Wow!” You exclaim as your brain processes this news.

You are so joyful. Donna… Wasn’t expecting this. Do you… Want this? With her?

You carefully bring Donna in for a kiss. What a great gift she’s given you. “Please, Donna. I… Love you. I want to be in this baby’s life… I want you more than anything.” You plead.

Tears well up in Donna’s eyes. Your request is so pure. You truly love her and want to take this huge leap of faith with her. She kisses you once again. “Y/N… Cara mia. Are you sure?” She asks you, placing your hand on her stomach. “This is… A big decision.” She tells you.

You rub her tummy and smile back at her. “This is what I want. I love you, Donna. I need you.” You answer. Life without Donna is simply not an option. You will do anything in your power to be with her.

Donna gives you a breathtaking smile before adopting a mischievous smirk. “I hope you understand that your grades will be affected by my ever-changing moods and cravings.” She jokes. “That’s your own fault.” She teases.

You laugh. “Well, I hope I might be able to sway your decisions with lots of food runs. I’ll get you anything you crave, Professor.” You tell her with a wink.

Donna giggles back. “I just might have to take that into consideration.” She says with a smile. “In fact, you could get some extra credit right now if you take me to lunch.” She says, quirking an eyebrow.

“Fuck yeah! I’m down!” You cheer.

Donna tuts playfully at you. “Y/N, watch your language in front of our little one.” She scolds and cradles her stomach.

Your heart flutters at hearing Donna say “Our little one”. You and Donna did this together. It feels… Perfect.

Note: That was a fun prompt to write! I hope you enjoyed!

Masterlist

out of sight, out of mind

written for @doctordonnaweek day 5: memory/change

also on ao3

On Messaline, the Doctor had told Jenny that being a Time Lord was a sum of knowledge, a code, a shared history, a shared suffering. Before Jenny had died, he had begun planning how best to share his memories and that knowledge. Jenny would know the history of Gallifrey and their people. That dream had shattered like glass when that gunshot rang out. 

Since then, he has given up on hoping for anything more. He is the last. The Doctor walks alone and the last memories of Gallifrey and Time Lords would fade into history with his death. He is fine with that, really, he has accepted it. So why is he so traitorously hopeful when Donna pops up from behind that console in the Crucible spouting technological jargon that only a Time Lord would know and ideas that only a Time Lord could begin to conceive of? 

A two-way biological metacrisis. A human being with a Time Lord consciousness. It is brilliant, and of course it would be Donna at the heart of it all. For as long as they have been traveling together, the Doctor has known there was something special about Donna. In a universe as vast as the one they lived in, the Doctor had somehow met Donna twice. He had told her there was something binding them. Donna hadn’t believed him. 

But now… now she is so much more than Donna Noble, the temp from Chiswick. Now she is Donna Noble, the most important woman in all of creation. She is the DoctorDonna, like the Ood had foretold. The Doctor is so proud. 

The Doctor is so afraid.

Humans weren’t meant to hold a Time Lord conscious. The Doctor, however indirectly, would kill Donna if he didn’t act. All 900 plus years of his knowledge and memories would fry Donna's synapses like an egg in a hot pan. She would die, and it would be slow, and it would be painful. 

That she had held up this long was a miracle in and of itself. 

Without Donna, they would’ve all died to the Daleks. With Donna, the Doctor feels like his hearts are being shredded. He leans against a coral support and watches as Donna pilots the TARDIS. Round and round the console she goes, flipping a lever here, spinning a dial there, so much like him, and yet so different. 

It would be like this, the Doctor mused. The universe would give him no breaks. Just when he had someone else, an equal to share his world with, to share his life with, all of it, no secrets, no lies, it would be taken from him. Donna could’ve traveled with him forever, and maybe it wouldn’t have been his forever, but it would’ve been her forever. It could’ve been enough.

But he wouldn’t let Donna end up like Jenny. Donna will live, no matter what.

“I thought we could try the planet Felspoon,” Donna says. “Just because. What a good name, Felspoon. Apparently, it's got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move. Can you imagine?”

Instead of answering, the Doctor asks, “And how do you know that?” 

Donna grins at him. “Because it's in your head. And if it's in your head, it's in mine.” She turns away from him and continues to fiddle with the TARDIS console. 

“And how does that feel?” The Doctor wonders, briefly, just how deep Donna has dug into his memories in the short time she’s had them. There hadn’t been much time on the Crucible, but now, with everyone dropped off and safe in their respective places, she has had nothing but time. 

“Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene!” Donna exclaims. “Great big universe, packed into my brain.” She turns back to him. “You know you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hot-binding the fragment links and superseding the binary, binary, binary,” Donna's smile fades and her face goes blank. “Binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary-” she gasps and shakes her head, breaking off the loop.

The Doctor straightens and pushes off the coral support. He knew it was coming. That knowledge doesn’t make seeing his best friend in distress because of him hurt less. 

“I'm fine,” Donna says, and then she changes the subject. “Nah, never mind Felspoon. You know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin. I bet he's great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that? Shall we go and see Charlie Chaplin? Shall we? Charlie Chaplin?” She picks up a phone on the console and holds it up like she’s speaking into it. Donna puts the phone back into the cradle and continues her rambling. “Charlie Chester. Charlie Brown. No, he's fiction. Friction, fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton-" Donna cuts herself off with a gasp again. This time, she folds in on herself, panting. 

Donna is holding her head. She hasn’t straightened from where she’s bent over the console. It must be getting unbearable, the Doctor thinks, as he steps closer. Sometimes his mind, all those memories, all that history and knowledge, gets to be too much even for him, so for Donna the pressure must be nearing excruciating levels. “Do you know what’s happening?” he asks, softly. He knows the answer before she speaks. If it was in his head, it’s in hers. 

“Yeah,” Donna confirms. She straightens up but she won’t look at him. 

“There's never been a human-Time Lord metacrisis before.” Now Donna turns to look at him. “And you know why.” The Doctor finds pieces of himself reflected in her eyes, sees all of his sadness and his guilt lining Donna's face. Does he look like that when he gets lost too deep in his mind? In the darkness that haunts Donna’s eyes, the Untempered Schism flashes, briefly, and he knows time is running short. The Doctor does not wish Donna to see the Schism, even in a memory. 

“Because there can’t be,” Donna whispers. She sniffs and pushes herself away from the console. With her back to him, she walks around the console, flipping more levers as she does. “I want to stay,” she says and she’s back to avoiding his gaze.

He leans on the console next to her, getting close so she can’t ignore him. “Look at me,” he pleads. “Donna, look at me.” 

She hesitates, like she’s fighting it, before she turns to him. “I was gonna be with you, forever.” There are tears building on her bottom lashes, but they do not fall. 

“I know,” the Doctor whispers. 

Donna takes a deep breath. “The rest of my life, traveling in the TARDIS. The DoctorDonna,” she smiles bitterly. 

He continues watching her, but does not speak. There is only one way to save Donna at this point. To save her life, the Doctor has to take all her memories of him. All the ones she experienced herself, and all the ones that were leaking from the consciousness - his consciousness - that was embedded in her mind. 

Something in his eyes must give his plan away, because Donna gasps. Fear and desperation flicker across her face. “No. Oh my god. I can't go back. Don't make me go back,” she pleads. She's backing away from him. 

The Doctor straightens and places his hands on her shoulders. He hates this, hates that Donna is afraid of him, hates that he’s having to hurt yet another person he cares about. 

“Doctor, please, please don't make me go back,” she begs. 

“Donna,” he says and he still hasn’t let go of her shoulders. He knows that if he does she could run and if she runs, she will die. “Oh, Donna Noble. I am so sorry.” And he is. If there was anything else he could do to keep her safe and have her retain her memories, he would. He would have loved to have Donna by his side for so many more adventures. He would’ve let Donna travel with him for as long as she wanted or until she couldn’t anymore. “But we had the best of times,” he says.

They had helped each other become better versions of themselves. Once the Doctor removed all the memories of himself and their adventures, he knew he would be restoring the Donna Noble that he had first met. The Donna who felt useless and trapped in her life as she jumped from temp job to temp job. The Donna who projected being shallow and vain in order to hide the soft heart of gold inside. 

He could only hope that the Donna he had come to know - the one who would sacrifice herself for someone she barely knew, the one who was so kind and so selfless, the one who had finally realized just how special she was - would come back eventually. The world deserved someone like that. 

Donna closes her eyes and the tears finally fall.

“Goodbye,” the Doctor says, softly. Donna is protesting and pleading the entire time as he raises his hands to her face. He puts two fingers on either side of her temples, and he dives into her memories. Her mind is awash in shades of gray and the sadness that echoes burrows down to his bones. The Time Lord consciousness is there too, in the distance, burning bright golden and devouring everything in its path. There are so many memories to clean up and he has to be quick about it. If left alone for even another minute, Donna will burn. 

He takes what he can, pulls those memories into himself and stores them somewhere safe in the back of his mind. What he can’t remove, those memories that are too intrinsically intertwined with the core of Donna Noble, he hides behind a wall, a mental block he builds in Donna's subconscious. It’s not perfect, it’s rushed and if prodded too heavily might crumble, but it will keep her alive. He starts to withdraw, but pauses as he considers something else. 

Just in case, he adds a protective measure to that wall. If it comes under too much stress, a shockwave will be unleashed that will knock Donna unconscious and give the mental block a chance to restore itself. He leaves Donna's mind as gently as he can. In reality, only a few seconds have passed. Donna protests one more time before she collapses forward into his arms. He closes his eyes as he holds her and rests his chin on her head. 

The Doctor lowers them both gently to the floor. He takes a moment to pull Donna’s memories to the forefront of his mind. He skims through them gently and sees himself through her eyes. All sharp angles and fast words and yes, he determines, he does look like that when he gets lost in his mind. Those observations don’t shock him - Donna had never been quiet about her opinion of him, but what does surprise him is the fond exasperation, the love that is infused in and attached to all of Donna’s memories of him. 

From the amount of times they bickered, the Doctor had not expected Donna to feel this way. She had obviously liked him well enough, considering the fact that she stuck around, but this…this love is not fiery, it is not passionate. It’s not a romantic love, no – this love is soft and warm. It is security, it is trust, it is home. 

He can’t stand to see anymore, can’t stand the way that warmth wraps around his hearts and chokes them. He puts all of Donna’s memories into a box, locks it up, and hides it away in the dark part of his mind. With a steadying breath, the Doctor opens his eyes, sets Donna down gently, and begins the process of getting her home. 

The clouds are dark and thick when the TARDIS lands outside Donna's home. He carries her as far as he can before he collapses on the doorstep. He knocks once and hears a clatter as someone hurries to the door. It's Wilf who opens the door, and it’s Wilf who helps him carry Donna up the stairs to her room. The Doctor takes a moment to stand and look at her, to burn this image of her asleep and at peace into his memory before he heads back downstairs.

The Doctor settles heavily onto their couch and begins to explain what happened, to stress how important it is that Donna never remembers him. “For the rest of her life,” he tells them, “you can’t mention me or any of it.” 

Sylvia and Wilf agree. “All those wonderful things she did…” Wilf begins.

“I know,” the Doctor replies. “But that version of Donna is dead.” 

There is a pause as Wilf and Sylvia consider what he’s told them. “She was better with you,” Wilf says, and the Doctor inclines his head in agreement. 

He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “I just want you to know there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand million light years away,” he trails off, lost in memory for a moment. He snaps himself out of it and focuses back on Wilf and Sylvia. “They will never forget her, while she can never remember. And for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.”

“She still is,” Sylvia protests. “She's my daughter.” 

And the Doctor can’t help the flash of irritation that Sylvia's words spark. Donna loves her mother, and Sylvia loves Donna, but Sylvia has never been particularly easy on Donna. At least not, when the Doctor was around. “Then maybe you should tell her that once in a while,” he snaps. 

Sylvia is regarding him with an expression the Doctor does not recognize. “You love her,” she finally says. The revelation startles Wilf, who looks quickly between the Doctor and Sylvia. 

The Doctor remembers the feeling that was woven into the fabric of Donna’s memories. “Donna is my best friend,” he says, and he knows it isn’t really an answer. “But she’s more than that she’s -” he cuts himself off and presses his lips into a thin line as he mentally flips through all the languages he knows to try and find a suitable description for what Donna was to him. Best friend worked, but it wasn’t enough. When he can’t find a suitable word, he scrubs his face with his hands and looks back up at Sylvia. “I would do it all again,” he says instead. “If it was between me or Donna, I would choose Donna, every time.” 

Before Sylvia or Wilf can respond, they’re interrupted by Donna opening the door to the sitting room. The Doctor leans back and does not look at her. She complains about being left to sleep in her clothes, before she glances at him. “Donna,” she introduces herself, but she’s already more focused on her mobile. 

The Doctor stands, forces a smile and offers his hand. “John Smith,” he says, and Donna shakes his hand, briefly, before leaving the room. The Doctor takes this as his cue to leave. Even though he’s not supposed to, he can’t help but stop in the kitchen on the way out. With Rose, he didn’t get a proper goodbye. Donna might not remember him, but he wasn’t going to repeat that mistake. “Donna?” he calls. She turns to him but she is clearly more focused on her phone call. “I was just going.” 

“Yeah, see you,” Donna replies and then she turns away to continue her conversation without a backwards glance. 

Just like that, Donna slips quietly out of the Doctor’s life, a sharp contrast to how quickly and loudly she had wormed her way into it. 

It’s raining when the Doctor opens the door to leave. Wilf is right behind him. “This will happen for a while as your atmosphere settles,” the Doctor says. “But it will pass, everything does.” He takes a deep breath and turns back to Wilf. “Well, bye then, Wilfred,” he says as he steps out into the pouring rain. 

“Doctor?” Wilf calls, and the Doctor pauses and turns back to him. “I'll watch out for you, sir.” 

And the Doctor is so tired he can’t even bring himself to protest the use of the word sir. “You can’t ever tell her,” he repeats. 

“I know,” Wilfred says. “But every night, Doctor, when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky, and think of you.”

“Thank you,” he tells Wilf, and he means it. After all, the Doctor supposes that’s better than he really deserved to ask for, not after what happened to Donna and Martha and Rose. Everything he touched seemed to crumble under his fingers. Three times in a row, he had lost his friend, his companion, and the only connecting link was him. He had told Donna that he didn’t need anyone, when they had first met, and Donna had protested that he did. 

Now, the Doctor wasn’t sure he could stand to try again. He turns and heads back to the TARDIS, pulls the door closed behind him, and sets off for the next world. In her memory, he will do what Donna had told him and he will keep going. 

It’s all he can do. 

please tell me all about in the blood (no pressure, i am genuinely interested though!!!!!!)

AHHAHHAHHHHHAAAA YES OKAY THANK YOU ELI

OKAYYYY SO in the blood, doctor who extended universe book, i think it takes place pretty soon after the Silence in the Library arc cos that's mentioned quite a bit, and Donna's husband Lee (who was, i may add, i think going to be canonically trans but they weren't sure how to show that in a split second without it being confusing but he's trans in my heart) from the simulation is on Donna's mind a fair bit so my guess is it's pretty soon after that ANYWAYS, fairly standard doctor who plot, big problem with technology and people on earth and of course it's because Aliens. specifically its that internet trolls are dying and ofc The Internet gets worked up about that, but as more and more people start venting their anger online everyone gets more and more angry and they become hysterical and sometimes die. which obviously is a big problem they have to solve, i won't give away the plot but its fairly average dr who stuff.

BUT. OHH BOY THE CHARACTERSSSSSSSASASSaSSASaSAS i mean i love ten & donna anyways but they are written SO WELL like SOOOO WELL it's SPOT ON and it's so perfect because they do the same things they always do - the doctor is fully prepared to die (well. very painfully regenerate) just as he always does and uhhh actually maybe it's better if i take pictures there was a lot of frantic margin scribbling & underlining hehee

uhm. spoilers below. and very long post

my handwriting is nigh-on-illegible here i know but it says 'she remembers the Arachna-things [one google search later - Racnoss] from the Runaway Bride she knows he has killed people & that people get killed around him but... [long pause here as i thought of what to write. how do you justify that? greater good?] yeah i can imagine it really is easier to not think about it'.

this is just such an interetsing thing that they couldn't have shown in the show right, you can't show 'she didn't even really like to think about it' visually with the same impact. but like.... yeah. she saw him kill all the racnoss & still travels with him. moral grey areas flawed characters but.... the companions must do some serious mental gymnastics NOT TO MENTIOn the Doctor coping mechanisms or lack thereof.

^^but then there's this!! the hope!! he really can't stand people dying even when he is surrounded by it!! he has to hope!!!

^^ platonic doctordonna moment!!!!! i love them so much heheeee but also Lee.... oughhhhh

^^ SUCH A DOCTOR MOMENT he HAS to carry on for the sake of THE WORLD even when it means Donna is at risk

^^handwriting id - 'see THAT is such a Doctor moment - just like ' 'yeah i knew for ages', lied the Doctor' - he doesn't tell people things b/c he doesn't want to upset them & he hopes that if he doesn't mention it it wont happen. if you see your own grave you have to be buried there etc. & it's maddening for everyone but also kinda tragic'

the doctor was hiding that what Donna thought was going to fix the problem wasnt going to work b/c then she's get upset & angry, which spacey stuff blah blah is whats currently killing people - but Ten (teh Doctor in general) does this A Lot, not saying everything he knows because he thinks it's going to upset/panic/hurt people/

^^ THIS!! he needs his best friend!!! without saying anything & over the phone, Donna can tell!! ajsnjansh i just love them so muchhhh

^^ (they were back in london in present day) the Doctor feels guilty about pulling Donna from her normal, safe life, even though like she wanted to he probably couldn't have said no to that if he tried - and putting her in mortal space danger - but also completely removed from her normal life. she doesn't live like Clara, who fits weeks of time travel in time to show up to work, she's missing out on Normal Life. she's not at home. Sylvia knows she wont be staying for dinner.

sorry a lot of this is kinda depressing BUT i promise you there are joyous bits too! the Doctor is canonically a Kate Bush fangirl!!! and donna has to stop him drinking coffee cos he'e hyperactive enough as it is lol. and -

hehe

Can you explain the new doctor who stuff to someone who has never watched doctor who before?

Ooh I can try?

Background:

The Doctor is a Time Lord, a powerful time-traveling alien. There are other Time Lords but they're not usually around and when they are it's not good. He travels the universe, and time, in the TARDIS, which looks like an old-fashioned British police call box on the outside but is massive on the inside. The Doctor is also kind of bad at controlling where it ends up. Every time the Doctor dies, he regenerates, but keeps all his memories. This happens every time the character is recast. The Doctor's gender is not fixed, the previous regeneration was a woman, but he's mostly been portrayed and written about as a man over the years so I'm using he/him for simplicity. David Tennant is one of my most beloved portrayals of the Doctor since the show was revived in 2005 and he returned for three specials to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the show. In-universe, the Doctor regenerated into the same body he'd had a couple regenerations ago, and he does not yet know why (we'll probably find out in the last special).

The Doctor also travels with friends, called companions. One of the most beloved companions of the revived show is Donna Noble, a loud, abrasive, middle class woman who has trouble holding down temp jobs, and turns out to kind, compassionate, and brilliant. Her relationship with the Doctor is completely platonic. Companions have to be written off the show eventually, and it's often in heart-wrenching ways. Donna was involved in some scifi mumboj-umbo called the metacrisis, which basically gave her a special connection to the Doctor and some Time Lord powers (mostly intelligence). Because her body is human, the power was killing her, so in order to save her life the Doctor wiped her memory of him and all their adventures. Donna met and married a wonderful man and had a child, but the Doctor could never see her again, because if she remembered him she would die. However, Donna also came back to celebrate the 60th anniversary. These specials are were created by Russell T Davies, the writer who revived Doctor Who in 2005 and ran the show until he left at the same time David Tennant did. He's now coming back to run the show again. He has a distinct style that a lot of fans really respond to, although the other two show runners who have been in charge in the meantime have fans as well.

The new Doctor Who stuff:

About 15 years after wiping Donna's memory, the Doctor regenerated back into David Tennant and the TARDIS immediately landed on a street, where he ran into Donna, who fortunately did not immediately recognize him. Donna called for Rose, which freaked him out because Rose was the name of the first companion in the revived Doctor Who, the Doctor's love interest, who was permanently trapped in a parallel universe. Donna knew about this and even met Rose during a big finale. It turns out the Rose Donna was calling for was her daughter. Rose is also trans and chose the name Rose for herself, and Donna got very protective against some transphobic bullies.

There was an alien threat in London (again) and in the course of investigating, the Doctor wound up at Donna's house, where Rose was harboring a deceptively adorable alien called the Meep. In order to save the entire city of London from the adorable but evil Meep, the Doctor was forced to restore Donna's memory so they could use their combined abilities. They succeeded, but Donna passed out, however she quickly recovered. It turns out that when she had a child, some of the Time Lord power stuff got passed down, so it's now shared between her and her daughter. Rose's choice of name as well as some of her hobbies were influenced by subconscious memories of TARDIS adventures. There's a whole little bit about how the Doctor is male (David Tennant's Doctor), female (Donna), and "neither and more," (Rose, who is a nonbinary trans girl). It's incredibly silly and campy and very fun and the whole episode is just very pro-trans which is nice. In the end, Donna and Rose are able to let the Time Lord power go and retain their memories. Donna is not planning to return to traveling with the Doctor, as she now has a family, but she gets in the TARDIS for "one last trip" and spills coffee on the controls, making the TARDIS go haywire and ultimately getting the Doctor and Donna stranded on a spaceship at the edge of the universe.

In the second special they had a very creepy adventure on the spaceship featuring "not things" taking their shape. They finally made it back to Earth at the end, only to find humanity going violently insane, setting up the plot of the third special, which we will see soon! They also got to see Donna's grandfather, Wilf, who was himself a beloved companion. Wilf's actor, Bernard Cribbins, died recently, but he filmed this scene before he died, so fans were really overjoyed and emotional to see him one last time.

The second special also had a scene at the beginning featuring Isaac Newton, who was played by a brown actor, and later had Donna and the Doctor agreeing he was hot and a line confirming the Doctor is not straight. There's been subtext about the Doctor being queer for a very long time, he was kissed by a canonically omnisexual male companion, and the previous Doctor, who was a woman, had ship tease with her female companion, but this line was a bit more direct and overt about a male Doctor liking men than most of what's been included before. These two things, along with the pro-trans stuff in the first special, have the right throwing a tantrum about Doctor Who going "woke" which is just kind of hilarious.

At the end of the last special the Doctor is regenerating into his newest form, played by Ncuti Gatwa. Davies is staying to run the show, but Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor and his companion will be new.

tl;dr: beloved actors and show runner return for specials that have been really good, well-written, good mix of practical and computer effects, and fun pro-trans stuff in the first special, so Doctor Who fans are happy.

tagged by @goldheartedchaoticdisaster thank you bestie ❤❤❤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

183,074

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The short answer is basically "whichever one I'm feeling".

the longer answer is: Arata the Legend, the MCU (specifically my own OC content and Eternals), Good Omens, The Old Guard, The Wicked + The Divine, A Discovery of Witches/All Souls Trilogy, Doctor Who, Ted Lasso (in theory, so far) and like... other stuff I can't think of right now that I haven't published but still write for, and other stuff I have written fics for but wouldnt say I "write" for the fandom.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Okay

Rotten Work

Ethereal

First Word

everybody wants someone (i want to be somebody)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or I try to - I try to respond to every comment people leave, even if it's only a heart emoji or a 'thank you'. Because I want to show them I see them and appreciate them!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Toss up between "no home sweet and no sweet home" with Joan having to run away from an abusive household in the middle of the night to a life of just constant running and loneliness she's not emotionally prepared for after having a relatively normal life and "my heart is a stone, my body is not my own" with Yataka dealing with years of blackmail, sexual assault and noncon suddenly being exposed to everyone by one of his abusers and just refusing to talk about it at all and rejecting the (admittedly flawed) attempt at comfort shown to him (points for being a fic I wanted to end with comfort and instead became my first hurt/no comfort).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's hard to choose but I'm gonna say probably First Word (link above) because. I mean how does it get better than Human!Ten, Donna and Jenny being a little family together and Jenny's first word being Donna's name and Ten being absolutely in love with his girls-

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh I did like, back when I was 13. My ATLA OC fic got cyberbullied by some dude on tumblr, who copy&pasted whole chapters of my fic and then would go through the chapter and add shitty comments.

The only good thing about that situation was that he even added a whole post to express his confusion that all the comments on my fic were positive. everyone else was loving it. and then he apparently needed to ruin me and left his own comment telling me he was reviewing my fic. which of course led to a shock and some hurt feelings but uh, seeing him annoyed at everyone else liking the fic helped lmao now I can look back on it with amusement like what was going on with that guy that he felt the need to harass a 13 year old.

I also got another comment on the same fic accusing me of plagiarizing their fic and OC because both my oc and hers could bend 2 elements and had sort of similar names and when I went to read her fic it was so completely different from my own I had to LAUGH.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've attempted it a few times but I really don't know what I'm doing with it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've never written a whole crossover - I admit I did start an au fic where all different studio ghibli characters were in the story of Anastasia the movie, but it did not get super far before I stopped.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

luckily no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if anyone ever asked I wouldn't say no!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh my god.... I mean as hard as it is to choose it's gotta be TenDonna. like platonically, romantically, a secret third thing, they are amazing together and I love them so much.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I try to never say I'll never finish a fic, but there's one for certain I don't think I'll ever finish, Prince Mononoke - a role swap au of Princess Mononoke. I was writing it for years and had my grandma proofread every chapter before publishing. I put it on hiatus for years, but then she died, and it didn't feel right to keep going.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel I write dialogue really well. I try my best to hit the right voice for every character and I think I do a good job at it. And honestly it's hard for me to not write dialogue like half the time I'm like can you guys shut up already and progress the plot with actions instead-

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not as poetic as I'd like to be, I guess. Like. some writers are just fucking masters with words and I feel like I'm stammering. I'm also not super confident in writing romance - like, pining, or friendly relationship with a splash of romance for fun? I've got that. Actual romantic relationships? Not so much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I do, I use google translate and hope for the best, but usually I don't. Ethereal has a lot of Canadian French in it because Marianne is from Quebec, but I use my sister (a French Immersion student) as my translator.

I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Like, use the best translator website you can find and hope for the best.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

If we want to get really technical it was for The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, before I even knew fanfic was a thing. If we want to be specific to published fic, it was Avatar the Last Airbender.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

UGHHHH HOW DO I CHOOSE

honestly I have no way to choose. So I'm simply not going to lol

tagging: @dani-luminae @sighonaraa @altschmerzes @jamietarttsnorthernattitude @fallenangelontheceiling @vinatintasupernovita @strangelock221b @mousedetective @linguini17 and like, anyone who wants to do this!!!! it's fun :)

Your thoughts about Wild Blue Yonder are so interesting! I also wondered whether Donna could see the memories but was choosing not to.

After watching a few (okay, many) times more, I don’t think she is. To me, the line about it being like a furnace conjured images of something bright and hot, something she couldn’t keep her eyes on, something every instinct in her tells her to look away from. (Part of me wonders if this isn’t part of the metacrisis. The doctor told the master “did you really think i would leave my best friend without a defense?” when her memories could have been triggered - is that barrier still up despite her having let go of the energy? idk)

But I love the idea that she could know, and chooses, in some ways, not to. Out of respect for his privacy, worry over what she’d find, wanting to give him the chance to tell her himself.

These specials have given us so many little details to play with and speculate about and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Yeah, I think the scene could be read both (or multiple) ways. And as the episode stated, a human brain can do/hold two (or more) possibilities at one time. So I like the idea of Donna choosing to respect the Doctor's privacy, even if it's an unconscious choice, an instinctive one, one she makes partially for her own preservation and partially for the health of their newly reinstated relationship. This is what you get when you put actors like Tennant and Tate together tho. This is what you get with good writing, good characterisation. You get texture, possibility, richness, intrigue, subtlety, mystery. Because yeah, these two are both as silly and goofy and ridiculous as each other. They're fun and funny and endlessly entertaining. But they are also sensitive, mature, thoughtful, unique actors. They can play the biggest comedy then turn around and break your heart with a single, silent look. Having them back for the specials has been SUCH. A. GIFT. Especially since returning to old ground (as is the nostalgic fashion in these bleak end times) does not always go well. But RTD has given these two some great material and then just put them on a big stage (literally, in the case of Wild Blue Yonder) and let them make their particular brand of magic. And as you say, I think we will be rewatching these specials, revisiting the funny and poignant moments they've provided and discussing them for weeks/months/years to come. If I'm honest, I don't feel like I've quite caught up with everything that has happened. You could say it's like looking into a furnace. It's been bright and fast and funny and moving and surprising and everything it needed to be. And I'm still processing so much, including (but not limited to):

They're back! (Donna & the Doctor! In the TARDIS!)

Donna remembers everything (and didn't die!!)

Donna & Rose giving regeneration realness

The LOOKS (of angst and love and more!!)

The kisses (hand! & head!!)

The hugs (they missed e/o SO much!)

"Earth Girl" (I didn't know how much I needed that until they gave it to me)

The continually incredible work of Catherine Tate's hair

They've given us so much, after such a long wait, and this weekend they're gonna give us MORE. And then they're gonna take it all away again and I'm really not ready at all.

I'm slamming into your ask box for Fourteen headcanons for the ask meme!

Headcanon A:  realistic

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own

A: Fourteen works alongside UNIT, but mostly in the Black Archives. It keeps them out of trouble, and allows for them to be useful with documentation of the artifacts down then, and eventually leads to becoming the Curator one day. They work alongside the Curator, who happily enjoys the company.

B: Seriously, I want Fourteen to get their ear pierced again. Also, their sense of fashion is terrible when it's not their tartan suit or something in blue and brown, they can't seem to color coordinate and will find any excuse to wear their ratty old converse. Rose often does their nails for them and vice versa and they always pick out the gaudiest colors for each other because it's funny.

C: They don't handle the first few months very well. Because they're not running away from their problems anymore, everything starts closing in and it leads to a really nasty night of panic attacks and completely shutting down. Donna stays with them the whole time, letting them cry and vent and question everything. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't yell or anything like that. She talks to them or lets them drop so many things on her because she knows that this is a good start, this is something they need to do. They can't bottle it up forever. She lets Fifteen know later, as I'd like to think they keep in contact, and he tells her that his younger self needed that, it's gonna be a rough time, but it will get better.

D: Honestly? I want a bonkers accident like the coffee on the console to happen again, sending Fourteen, Donna, and Rose into Pete's World. I want Fourteen to run into Tentoo and Rose Tyler and see how they're doing, and I want the happy couple to know that the Doctor is, in a sense, in a good place now, even if there are two Doctors running about. Also, I just want a really fun adventure with two Doctors, two Roses, and one annoyed Donna. :D

STAR BEAST SPOILERS.

.

.

Hello. All my thoughts about the star beast. As bullet points. Might be long enough to be considered an essay.

. The scene where the Doctor takes the boxes from Donna, notices who she is and just puts them back again was brilliant. Ever the king of running away from a problem at first instinct.

. I expected more of a reaction to Roses name, but that was probably just my fangirl heart, and it WAS pretty funny that he touches down in London and is just assailed with her name twice. The poor guy. Shellshocked.

.The mother/daughter relationship between Rose and Donna is so touching, they sell it so well, so much better than I expected. Donna declaring she will always protect her daughter against those transphobic kids was incredibly sweet, and very believable coming from her.

.Catherine Tate was just as good an actor as she was back in season 4, and balances typical Donna brevity with some genuinely great acting in the more serious moments.

.Haven't even mentioned the MEEP! my baby. As my mum pointed out, it's still cute even when it's evil. Plushie when, BBC? I think if I was there I would simply HELP it destroy London, if it would let me have one little stroke of it's fur.

.That being said, the casualty number in that episode would still be VERY high. Think of all the cars that were swallowed up in the crack and then just sealed again- so many people would have died with no way to even recover their bodies! Good lord.

.I'm not 100 percent sold on the acting of David Tennant as 14 yet: its too much going between the personality of 10 and trying to be the other doctors as well. I have two more episodes to get used to it, though.

.I LOVE YOU SHAUN TEMPLE! He didn't get too much of a look-in but he was pretty funny when he did have lines.

.I have such a love/hate relationship with Sylvia Noble. It's really complicated. She reminds me a lot of my grandma. . I'm super critical of how she acted towards donna in season 4, and donna snidely calling her out in this episode when she's talking about motherhood re:rose is like, wah. But I do respect that Sylvia really does love donna, and I admire the lengths she goes to to protect her.

.I'm really conflicted on the new TARDIS interior. It's not as bad as I'd imagined it had the possibility to be, and it's SO much better than 13s. But it's hardly the homey vibes of 11 or even 12 (with the bookcases.) It looks like a really fun place I'd like to hang out in, fiddling with the RGB lighting and running up and down the ramps. But I'd like to see how they sell it as a place people are actually LIVING in. Assuming ruby Sunday is going to spend time living in there as the next companion.

.The doctors delight at seeing it though is, well, delightful. As someone on twitter said, he really did get the zoomies. Hey though, wouldn't it be cool (not that they have the set for it anymore though, I assume) if the TARDIS turned into the old season 4 TARDIS at some point? Even if it's just a small CGI mirage scene.

.Where is Osgood? Don't get me wrong, the new UNIT lady was pretty interesting. But please don't tell me they've written Osgood away. I still hold out hope to see her when they bring Kate in. Maybe they'll be hanging out together then.

.My dad didn't like this episode, and my mum suspects is was-her words- "he must have thought it was too woke." Possibly. Probably. His loss. Curious though, because he's a genuine fan of the chibnall era. But in hindsight it makes sense. He didn't like the sappy bits and prefers the adventure bits, and I guess the chibnall era had cool CGI and monsters but no character development worth a damn.

.Speaking of sappy bits, the moment where donna and the doctor communicate with each other from between a glass door where they've been separated from each other IS NOT LOST ON ME. you can't put a glass door in front of this doctor. Oh no. You'll give me flashbacks. Anyway, that moment was great. 14 holding Donna when she's dead is great. Rose bringing everyone back and saving the day was a LITTLE hard to follow, and I personally thought it was a weak point of the episode just because of how sudden it was, but whatever, it was still good.

. The pacing of the whole episode really was a bit fast but that's not really a valid complaint, I know that, because they could only fit so much into 50 odd minutes and they had to tell a whole story. I know most doctor who episodes tell whole stories in LESS minutes, but I should give this one some grace because we had to establish the characters and set up the bond between donna and the doctor and the character of Rose as well as have an antagonist storyline. The pacing of the next two episodes might be better.

.On the whole I REALLY like Rose Noble and I feel like there's a lot left unsaid about her that I'm hoping the next few episodes will address. We skipped over the metacrisis thing very fast, right? Her plushies are dead cute and I personally would buy one if I knew her but I can't help wondering if the market for odd little plushies like that is very high.

.TENTOO MENTION WHEN? come on. You can mention the metacrisis but nothing about tentoo I guess? Holding out hope for even a SMALL mention.

.Okay, finally, maybe, the scene at the end with Donna and the Doctor in the TARDIS is great. "It killed me, it really killed me" fresh off the regeneration and he's already so vulnerable and I really love that. And he knows it, too: "I really loved her- do I say things like that?" He's so happy to be reunited with her and that's really all I could ask for. The TARDIS made them a coffee machine because it knows they have soooo much drama to catch up on.

.was lying about the finally. If I was Sylvia Noble and my daughter was donna noble and she won the triple roll-over lottery and gave it to charity I would be VERY pissed. Donna confronting the doctor about it was SO her and it gets me that she made a point of how kind he was. Like. Yeah. He's soft. Yeah. Give her another lottery ticket my man please her fucking house is gone now too

. the wilf mentions break me, especially with the doctor being so earnest about how much he loved him, and I hope we get to see him.

. There's still two episodes they can play song for ten in I still believe

.AND I convinced my mother to rewatch season 4 with me. She was like "you've just rewatched it without me!" Mum. Do not doubt my uber autism. There is nothing I want to do more than watch it a third time in three months over in your company. Please.

......:3 catch me next week for the wild blue yonder review

The Star Beast

Am I excited for the 60th? Eh... I'm just glad to have Doctor Who to watch after a year of nothing.

Why in the world were my Disney+ subtitles set to Chinese?

Donna my girl. You are the only reason for me to be excited. This whole post has a lot of salt throughout.

Also, I don't know how I feel about the exposition to the camera thing. Twelve did it better. Interesting opening sequence. And I think I have said I like the retro logo. Ok Rachel Talalay directed. That's promising. Those robots in the background felt cyberman-esque. Ughhhhh I have so many thoughts about the choice to have Donna name her daughter Rose. Ugh. I like that the running gag of Donna not seeing the chaos for random mundane reasons continues. Glad she's still roasting him. Ok if this is supposed to be a NEW Doctor, I don't like him saying Allons-y. Please. New catchphrase. The same face doesn't have to mean the same personality. Plus I don't know French but isn't saying "Let's - Allons-y!" redundant? Ok shoutout to Nerys that's fun. Shaun's a good man. I'm very glad we get to see more of him now since he was a bit of a non-character in End of Time. OH GOOD UNIT IS REALLY BACK PROPERLY. Wait do I remember seeing pictures of Kate in promos... I was about to ask why the ship was right side up if it crashed. Ok. It landed. God I've forgotten Donna's mom's name but I'm really glad to see she listened to the Doctor and shows Donna appreciation now. I was just about to ask how long it'd been. Because End of Time aired in 2009/10 but the whole timeline of the RTD era was messed up. So does that mean that Journey's End was technically 2008? God let me not try to make sense of this right now. God I hate this Meep thing with a passion. I hate its eyes. So much. Ah. Nightmare fuel. I don't like the sonic reverting back to be so similar to Nine/Ten's either. It would have been funner if he was using Thirteen's. Plus he should have been in Thirteen's outfit but I've already complained about that for a year. Cowards. "Off you pop" I wonder if that's a reference to Clara in the 50th. What is that the Time Vortex or something? Does Rose crochet these toys? Love that. (For the record I got nothing against Rose at all I'm just mad she was named Rose for pure fan pandering purposes.) Ok now I see why it was hiding in toys in the promo. Sylvia you are totally right to be angry at the Doctor this time around. "Oh wow he's so cute" no, it's nightmare fuel. GOOD JOB SYLVIA. He deserves that slap. Oh poor Shaun. He's such a good man though. Sees the chaos, sees a literal monster, and decides to compliment his mother-in-law's cooking. Good job. "I loved that man." Aw. Me too. "He's not dead." "You idiot." Love it. Kate came in to help take care of Wilf? Oh. Ohhh. My heart. "You've got two hearts? So do I." "You've got what." Oh Donna. Hmm so the hypnotized soldiers are not on the same side as the Wrath... I don't know how I feel about this sonic force field thing but ok. Resonating concrete. I'll accept that reference because it's about Nine. "Or we've got things very, very wrong." Yep I agree that Meep is probably evil and as nightmarish as the Meep looks. A living sun. I'll accept that reference because it's about Martha. Please RTD, reference something OTHER than your era though for this 60th anniversary of the whole show. SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS A NIGHTMARE CREATURE. "With your weird child." Ah so Beep the Meep is a transphobe too. SEE. SEEEEEE. I WAS RIGHT TO HATE THIS THING. "I'm just passing by" Ok I always liked that line. God I hate this thing. SHE SAID THE DOCTOR. Ok these random Winter Soldier trigger words would have meant more had they actually be put into the show at some point prior to this. Because I have absolutely no memory of any of this besides the repeated "binary binary binary." Donna Noble is descending. Fixing up all the burning caverns like that is nonsense. OK ROSE. OK.

Ok no wait now I'm mad again. At first when the show was in promotions the assumption was that Donna named Rose subconsciously. Because we weren't sure if Yasmin was playing a trans character or not. Then when this episode started I was like "Ok so Rose picked the name Rose by random when she transitioned and it's a coincidence. Fine I'll accept that." but didn't actually put it in the post. And now NO. SHE HAS SOME OF THE METACRISIS IN HER. SO SHE NAMED HERSELF AFTER ROSE. I'm mad all over again. Just let it go RTD2!

Ok the Keep Out on the shed might be a reference to Twelve's sign on his Tardis. Fine. Fine. I'll take that. Glad they didn't zoom in on the Adipose before that. that would have been too obvious. Because the toy is just straight up an Adipose. Also happy 10th birthday to Owen the Adipose plushie I crocheted around this same time. "We're binary." "She's not." "Because the Doctor's male" "And female" "And neither. And more." Ok ok confirmation of the Doctor being non-binary ok. This has been a rollercoaster of me being angry and me being happy. "My father would be impressed, I have no higher compliment" That is VERY true there is not a higher compliment than that. Oh is the episode going to be dedicated to Bernard... Oh and we're getting that Toymaker dude later right? And Rose makes toys. Ok I see why this random Old Who villain is relevant to this story. "Shame you're not a woman anymore, cause she would have understood." True. So they can just... let the time lord energy go... sure I guess? OK THE SIGN BY THE ROBOT THINGS SAYS CYBERDOG. I DIDN'T SEE THAT BEFORE. THEY WERE MEANT TO LOOK LIKE CYBERMEN. I do like Ten being insulted by Shaun saying "But not him." since I do somewhat headcanon Ten as being a bit in love with Donna.

Ok at this point I realized that Tumblr had stopped autosaving this draft around when we saw the Adipose. So let's see if I can even post this last half.

I don't mind this Tardis design. Kind of like One's mixed with Eleven's. Ok the set itself is actually impressive. I like it. Oh Donna. Ew I do not like the breathy Doctor Who theme nope.

No dedication to Bernard at the end. Did we already get something dedicated to him? Or maybe they'll just dedicate the episode he's actually in.

As an episode, it was cute and fun. I think RTD2 needs to take some of his own advice and let it go, specifically the Rose thing.

As a 60th anniversary special... Ok I was glad this episode wasn't just purely RTD era callbacks every other moment. But still, it's an anniversary special. Give me more about all 60 years. Or at least the very least more about the Moffat and Chibnall eras. I guess we'll have to see since all 3 episodes are supposed to be anniversary specials. But for the episode airing closest to the anniversary, I'm disappointed that it didn't feel like an anniversary episode.

Edit: I went to check the cast and at the time it had a 9.2 on IMDB and was above Blink as highest rated episode. It's now down to 8.2 which is more reasonable. But god I'm annoyed at the way some fans have just eaten up all this pandering.

Fannish Year Review - 2023

1. Your main fandom of the year: probably still the x files but I have branched out more into other fandom this year like good omens and star trek

2. Have u watched a film this year?? 😅 I know I have but I'm not a big film watcher. I did really enjoy Ali G Indahouse but idk if that's bc I watched it last week and can still remember it. EDIT: Oh no wait! I watched the kinsman again this year and that's probably my fave

3. Your favorite book this year: lmao have I even finished a book this year? 😂I know I have but nothing life changing I don't think. My least favourite book is Thomas Payne's Understanding English Grammar

4. Your favorite album or song this year: oh lord help me I discovered do I wanna know by the Arctic monkeys for the first time this year, and actually that whole album is so profound to me.

5. Your favorite tv shows this year: was the last of us this year? Seems so long ago. But that was my fave show, for how brilliant it was and also the memories of watching it with my friend and the fun we had bonding over it

6. Your favorite tumblr community this year: I've only dipped my toes in to the waters of star trek and doctor who, but everyone I've interacted with has been very warm and welcoming

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year: Manchester United? Does that count? Started watching bc my flatmate is a supporter and i actually quite like it.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: the arguments I've seen in the good omens fandom and hating on Aziraphale etc.

9. Your tv/movie boyfriend and/or girlfriend of the year: Mulder, always mulder like lord help me. But also recently the huntsman from once upon a time bc Jamie Dornans accent is 🔥🔥😌

10. Your biggest squee moment of the year: oh definitely seeing the doctor and Donna together again for the 60th-- no wait!! Seeing Bernard Cribbins again from beyond the grave, he has my heart ❤️🥺 and also to a lesser extent the return of Dan and Phil games

Sorry if you guys have already been tagged but tagging @baronessblixen @agent-troi @freckleslikestars @kira-nerys-rocks @bi-files @capybaraonabicycle @randomfoggytiger @trans-gale