I will never understand the fanfic impulse to take characters with thee most coo coo bananas codependent/nuanced/toxic/insane relationship and turn them into love interests #1 and #2 in a generic romance novel. like what is even the point anymore

Hey there, I truly admire your openness about your anxiety, and I was wondering if you could offer any tips or techniques that have helped you, especially in the context of being active on this platform. Love your work!

tw: anxiety

hi anon! thank you so much, that's really nice of you. i deffo think i could be more open about it, but it's nice that I've been able to be open enough for you to reach out. i'm sorry it took me a day or two to get back to you, i just wanted to make sure i thought up/over things so i was being as helpful as possible! it's important for me to stress that my situation and my anxiety isn't going to be like everyone else's, and how i cope with it isn't like the "go to". but here are some things that help me (i am not claiming that any of these i came up):

creating a rainy day folder: bad days are a thing for everyone, but i know what things put me in a "stormier" frame of mind, and what i'm critical about. so, when things make me smile (comments, nice reblogs, tags, inbox, dms) i screenshot them and pop them in this folder. and when i need an extra boost (or some proof to fire back at my brain that it's wrong) i spend a bit of time in there. as it's me, it's highly organised HA! but, it deffo helps having the folder, and its reminded me, at times, why i love what i do here.

celebrate with cake: i'm a high-functioning person, who has super low self-esteem. for a good portion of my life (an embarrassingly large portion, honestly) good accomplishments were not celebrated. so, now i make a point to celebrate certain things with food (or books, if I'm reading a lot). one thing I've learnt with my anxiety is that it's easy to get into a cycle, and one way of breaking this is to stop and take the time to realise the milestones I've accomplished or how far I've come. just the other day, i took a walk to the shop and grabbed myself a chocolate bar. a year ago, i wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that by myself. and it's important to recognise those achievements when you've had a hard time. i also recommend everyone gets themselves cake when they finish a series (it's the rules, i swear).

learn about yourself: i'm going to be brutally honest and hope this doesn't bite me on the arse, but there are a lot of times i don't really like myself? i don't see the value i offer, i feel like i let people down, etc etc. it used to be worse, and one of the ways that helped me go from every day i didn't like myself to occasionally disliked myself, is by educating myself on me. I've spent a lot of time making myself small to fit in, I've done things others are into so i fit in to the point i wasn't sure who i was. so, when i had a menty-b (the name i call it), i sat with myself and learnt what i liked. music. movies. clothing. passions. hobbies. i have always written, but i wasn't necessarily writing things i loved. so, i changed it. i dated myself (a term lots of people use). i told my husband i was going to spend Friday nights with myself, and i did something i wanted to do. on my own. and in time, that helped with my anxious feelings and my fears about being online. because i spend a lot of time worrying about what people think, but by dating myself i could learn nice things about me - and that way, had things i could tell myself i knew were true: that i'm actually very nice, kind and really funny. it might not making pressing 'post" easier, but i can hold my chin a little higher?

set yourself a goal of happiness: we're all motivated by different things. sometimes, we make a mental goal to ourselves and it becomes blurred and distorted in numbers. but, if your anxiety (like mine) likes to have a thing to measure itself against, choose something that isn't numbers based, but happiness based. did someone tell you this month that your writing/art/gifs made their day? did something you say make them feel better? it's hard, it really is, and i know there will be people reading this and scoffing, but truthfully, one person telling me something i wrote made their day is all a jo really fucking wants. because i'm going to write regardless, it's a choice i make to share it. so, while i gave examples above, that isn't my current goal, but it was a goal i had, and as long as i try to remind myself of that it helps.

which leads me into, try to stay away from the numbers game which i know is hard. but it does nothing for an anxious mind. like, it's a fickle thing. moods change. don't base your worth on a number, you matter far more than it.

accept it's a part of you: this one is more about me, but since you're asking me i thought this is probably allowed. i have a long-term anxiety disorder - which took a long time to get diagnosed - and i have some other little... things that come with that. and for a long time, i felt broken. but, i was reading a self-help book (because your girl loves reading books about brains) and i realised that i have anxiety. it is already part of me. so i need to work with it. anxiety isn\t nice, it's not kind and it's really annoying. but it also makes me empathetic, it makes me care about the work i do (both here and in my day to day life), or makes me compassionate. whether you have it short term or long term, sometimes it's better to accept it's there, acknowledge it, but DON'T FEED IT. have the worries, and then halt them, tell them no. I've found fighting it before I've got the strength doesn't help me. but, waking up, knowing it's there, nodding at it helps keep it in check. this might not make any sense, but, you know.

and finally, the one i'm still working on is: i cannot fix everything and this is fun, so i need to ensure it stays that way for me. which i know isn't really a tip. but it's a good thing to remember. i am one person, it is not on me to check on every single person. it isn't on me to read every single thing. i don't have to engage with things i don't agree with, i don't have to say all my opinions. i can change fandoms. i can not post for a day/week/month. and all i have to do, if i want to, is offer my absolute best. that's it. it's hard. and it's tough to swallow. but sometimes, a jo just needs to be jo.

i am not sure if my rambling has been helpful, but i thought i could list these: plot your fic, find a buddy to talk about things with, surround yourself with good people. but I've said all of these. but the above are things i can do by myself. they are things i can control. and with anxiety, we're all just looking for the things we can manage, and so i based the list in that way. thank you for coming to my jo-talk, i'm going to go hide from being so vulnerable.

Reminder: What Peaches allegedly went through is horrible, if true, but that does not excuse him from what he did to Rosa. As an autistic person, his and Lio’s actions remind me of downright horrible bullies I’ve dealt with (I am not a victim of bullying, at least in the traditional sense, but it’s a long story.) and it’s deplorable the way they treated her.

Peaches has called people the r slur, and another derogatory term for an autistic person based on the word aspergers (I have my own issues with the term itself anyway) and clearly enjoyed what he did to Rosa. In some of the audio recordings he released, he did show remorse for what he did to Rosa, however, he went into those conversations with Lio with the intent of recording and publicising it to throw Lio under the bus. I was only vaguely aware of the Rosa call before, and Lio had given me weird vibes, but I always excuses his behaviour with “oh, well, they’re predators, who cares if he’s mean to predators?” But nope, turns out he just treats everyone like shit. And that’s the thing with these moral grandstanding people. They channel their anger into self-proclaimed righteousness to avoid being seen as the unhinged mf they are. Nah. Fuck ableists. Fuck this shit.

Deplorable behaviour. To think it took 3 hours for anyone to say anything. Everyone who was in that call should be ashamed of themselves, even if they were silent. You’re an enabler.

I hate these internet vigilantes. I actually give a shit about these topics, so here are some resources about topics I care deeply about.

Fuck ableists. Bye.

Here’s the video of these grown adults bullying a mentally handicapped woman for not having a job and needing a carer for three hours. Oh, and she’s not the predator in this case, she just didn’t ban the predator, and likely didn’t even KNOW there was one in the server, might’ve not even had permissions to kick them! I run a server, and unless someone is a very obvious troll, I don’t just let my mods ban who they want, most servers don’t. Seriously. This video is repulsive. Check tags.

Video #1 - Lio tries to act scary

Video #2 - Cowards in a VC harass a neurodivergent woman for 4 hours

Video #3 - A video of a cute dog unrelated to this ableist nonsense

Edit: btw the rosa call isn’t the only fucked up call these two participated in, but that wasn’t what my post was about so I didn’t mention it. u can google shit bou it. Might wanna look int2 the Jibz and Robert situations respectively. :) Senate sure be a lovely bunch of people, ay? Oh, yeah, recently found out ‘ay’ is pronounced ‘I’ and not ae. Unrelated. Also talking about shit like this just pisses me off. Really fucking much.

Edit 2: I said I was “vaguely aware” of the rosa call before. Turns out I was pissed about it 8 months ago and completely forgot, cuz I liked two comments from back then on the original call (not the 4 hours one) criticising it. Btw, the comment section there is full of ableists. Have fun reading that.

Edit 3: LioConvoy released his video. While I haven’t finished it, I have mixed thoughts on it (like I’m skeptical of some things but generally the screenshots don’t make Peaches look good regardless) I just got to one part, and can I just say how fucking funny it is for Peaches to have a genuine fit over not getting imposter in among us? That’s all I wanted to say.

welp I’ve caught your sisters attention and I’ve apparently got my own tags now, yay..

idk how tf I got on your sisters radar, nor do I understand what she’s talking about in particular with her post. (I post i only saw bc an anon sent me an archive link btw, I’ve had her blocked for months)

https://web.archive.org/web/20240122022451/https://www.tumblr.com/pleasetiemyshoe/%20740178068838203392/oh-someone-wants-attention

I’ve never come after sunny, yeah we used to interact but that was a while ago, unfollowed him before you and him fell out. (Not for any particular reason, i just stopped enjoying his content) To the best of my knowledge I've never even talked about sunny after we stopped interacting and I don’t remember saying anything bad about him ever?

I have Courtney blocked, i definitely didn’t want her attention as she implied. Or the attention of any of the gossip blogs for that matter bc, to the best of my knowledge, I have them all blocked.

The “honey” and “sweet lamb” shit, along with her graphically saying I’m a waste of my fathers orgasm, makes me super fucking uncomfortable. on top of sounding really condescending she also sounds like my ex who raped me. Bc he was also a condescending asswipe and talked like a “poorly written high school bully” (to use a previous anons words)

she claims I think rape is “just a spat” even tho I am open on my blog about being a multiple time rape survivor (including but not limited to me being raped last year by my ex) and also I’ve never said that “rape is just a spat”, like WTF obviously that’s not what rape is. Idk how tf she came to the conclusion that I thought it was.

she also said I’m supporting two rapists? I’m guessing one of the ppl she’s referring to is you (bc she claims you raped her in multiple posts) but who tf is the second one?? I’m so confused.

and of corse the post has no screenshots of me saying or doing any of these things, she just spat out my url so others could see. So I have nothing to go off of here like- genuinely idk what I did to piss her off other then not publicly hate you.

idk why I’m coming to you about this but I genuinely could use some kinda support here bc she’s honestly freaking me out. My anxiety disorder can’t take this shit. I’ve been harassed before online, I was groomed as a kid and teen and was doxxed as a teen and more, but never have I ever got the attention of someone as obsessed as her before, so I’m terrified of what she might try to pull. The way she talks reminds me of my ex and that’s definitely not helping the panicking at all. I’ve seen how unhinged she behaves when it comes to you and I’m honestly scared rn of wtf this woman is gonna do. I have no idea what she’s talking about and I genuinely don’t know what I did to catch her attention. I think I’m just trying to vent out my panic attack so sorry if this is annoying to you but I honestly don’t know what to do bc I already have your gossip blogs blocked and that didn’t help so I’m kinda up shits creek atm. Like- WTF DID I DO TO GET HER ATTENTION? I’m confused. I like your posts sometimes and occasionally comment under them? Was that all it took?? Jfc I’m so confused. Idk what to do, any advice? Kind words? Idfk I’m just panicking I’m sorry I’m a bother I know this ask is fucking long but I’m super freaking out here and don’t know what to do or who else to turn to

Courtney is nothing. She can't hurt you outside of sending a mob to harass you. She's not a survivor of anything she claims to be a survivor of, she's a perpetrator of them.

The fact that you've gotten Courtney this tilted isn't even surprising because she's ALWAYS tilted.

The lucky thing is that she's also a coward. She's threatening my life for months and hasn't made good on any of them.

Block her, block anyone she sends your way, and just put her out of your mind.

You're gonna be okay, Golden. You're a lovely person who I've always liked seeing in my notifications.

All Bets Are Off: Chapter 8

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x OC!Penny’s Niece

Warnings: Swearing, I guess? 

Word Count: 2700

A/N: It wouldn't be a Top Gun story without some flying scenes, IMHO, but I also slipped some nice Penny/Eliza bonding in there for your mind.

(Also I don't know anything about fighter jets or flying, so don't expect accuracy in that department 😉)

Masterlist | Tag List | Request

*

Eliza was walking on air when she got to the Hard Deck that afternoon. “Well, good afternoon, Aunt Penny!” She was whistling Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears, and Penny didn’t miss her mood.

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” Penny grinned at Eliza, “It wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with a certain handsome fighter pilot, would it?”

Eliza shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear, “It might.”

“Whatever happened to all of this being just a ‘strategic move’ and just for the wedding, hmm? You’re awfully giddy for someone who doesn’t like him that way.”

Eliza frowned. “Do you want to hear about it or not?”

Penny laughed and clapped her hands excitedly. “Tell me, tell me!”

“Well, we hung out pretty much all day yesterday, and when he walked me out to my car, I was  a little drunk and I don’t know what I was thinking, but I just kissed him on the cheek for no reason.” Penny gasped. “I’m not done yet!”

“What did he do?”

“Right then, he just stopped and looked like I had slapped him in the face.” Penny chuckled and Eliza held up her hand, “But then, I woke up this morning to a sweet good morning text from him.”

Penny’s jaw dropped and she clapped her hands again, “Can I see it?”

Eliza handed Penny her phone proudly. “I’m sold, I don’t know about you.” 

“What did Phoenix say?”

“I haven’t even told Phoenix yet!” Eliza gasped. Hurriedly, she took a screenshot and sent it to Phoenix with a message saying:

“So look what I woke up to…”

Seconds later, Phoenix had emphasized the message and replied:

“I can hear the wedding bells already!”

Eliza flushed, “She’s planning the wedding.”

Penny replied, “I’m making a toast, without a doubt.” She stopped stocking the bar with glasses. “What do you really think about Rooster?”

“The more I get to know him, the more I like him. He’s kind of perfect.” Eliza shrugged, moving bottles of beer into a fridge. “But it does feel like he’s holding back for some reason.”

“Could it be possible that he just wants to take things slow?”

Eliza looked out the window at the beach outside, sighing. “I guess so, but it’s more like he’s catching himself than holding himself back, do you know what I mean?”

Penny nodded, “Well, it may comfort you to hear that Maverick told me that they’ve got some kind of big top-secret mission they’re training for right now. It’s entirely possible that he’s just distracted and waiting to wrap that up.”

“That does actually make me feel a little better.” Eliza walked over and gave her aunt a hug, “I’m so glad I came down here to live with you.”

“Me too, Elle.” Penny smirked at her, “I always told your mom she should have let you come spend the summer out here, then you could have already had your hands on Rooster by now!”

Eliza laughed, “Need I remind you that he is ten years older than me? If I’d ‘gotten my hands on him’ in high school, he would have been arrested.”

“I guess so, but I’ve always thought you two would get along.” Penny shrugged. “Something about the way you both relate to people, like you see their true self right away. Not to mention, you’ve got such similar backgrounds, I think you two could understand each other in a way that other people couldn’t.” She paused. “Especially Grady.”

“Yeah, well Grady didn’t understand much of anything about me in retrospect.”

“What kept you with him for so long?”

Eliza sighed, “The further I get from it, the less I understand it, but he just had a way of keeping me reliant on him. Grady is many things, but unintelligent is not one of them, and I think he just figured out the areas where I was weak and made sure I thought he was the only one who could help me.” She scoffed, tossing the rag she had been using to wipe down a sink onto the bar angrily. “I’m just frustrated that I let him isolate me the way he did, because if he hadn’t managed to do that, we probably would have broken up before we graduated. I knew better, even at that time, but I didn’t trust myself enough to listen to myself.”

“It takes a long time to get to the point where you can trust yourself like that. When I was in my early twenties, I was the same way! I wouldn’t stand up for myself, even when I wanted to, but once I learned how, I knew I could never go back.” Penny said, smiling sadly.

“I’m just trying to have grace for myself with it all, you know?” Eliza picked her rag back up and went back to cleaning. “It’ll never be helpful for me to be mad at my younger self for not utilizing skills she hadn’t developed yet.” Penny stopped what she was doing and looked at Eliza, eyebrows raised slightly. “Therapy, man.” Eliza shook her head and laughed.

“No, I was impressed! It would have taken me years to reach that level of peace when I was your age.” Penny looked at Eliza hard, “Do you feel ready for another relationship?”

Eliza stopped what she was doing and stared out the window again, thinking hard about her response. “I think so. I mean, there are definitely still wounds to be healed, but if I wait until I’m ‘all better’ to get back out there, I’ll probably always be waiting.” She sighed, “I do have to say, I did not plan on actually getting excited about and really into the first guy I met after Grady.”

“You may technically be missing out on dating around, but I personally think Rooster would be more fun.”

“Geez, Penny! Do I need to be worried about you?” Eliza laughed.

Penny rolled her eyes. “I’ve got more than enough on my plate, I’ll live vicariously through you, thank you very much!”

“It’s not like you don’t have your own relationship to live through.” Eliza winked.

“‘Relationship?’” Penny smirked.

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

“What are you going to do when you see him tonight?” Penny asked.

“I don’t really know, because things have definitely moved up a level, but we haven’t really had any conversations about, well, anything like that.” Eliza narrowed her eyes, looking thoughtful. “I guess I’m just going to act normal and see what he does.”

Penny threw up her hands sarcastically, “Where’s the fun in that?”

Eliza laughed, “I’m just trying not to embarrass myself!”

Penny rolled her eyes, “Whatever.”

On base, the pilots were assembled for another update on their mission. Admiral Bates was standing at the lectern with an even more sour expression than normal. “Uh oh.” Hangman said as he sat down across the aisle from Phoenix and Bob. “You don’t look like you’re about to tell us that the enemy cells decided to close up shop.”

Bates glowered at him. “Do I seem like I’m in the mood for jokes, lieutenant?”

Hangman cleared his throat, “No, sir.”

“Then I trust I can count on you to keep your quips to yourself then?” Hangman nodded wordlessly. “Good, because I am not about to tell you that the enemy cells decided to close up shop.” He took a deep breath, “What I am about to tell you is that our timeline is getting moved up, significantly.”

Rooster ran his fingers through his hair, feeling defeated. Just once, could we have a simple, cut and dry mission? He thought. “How much?”

Bates hesitated, and Rooster’s heart sank even lower. “We now have ten days until we fly out for the mission.”

There was immediate uproar among the pilots. “Ten days?” Fritz called from the back row, “You can’t be serious!”

“Yeah.” Phoenix added, “We’ve never actually successfully flown the mission!”

Bates pursed his lips, “You’ve pulled off similar things before.”

“Oh, so because we somehow managed to beat the odds once, we have to do it every mission now?” Hangman looked furious, and Rooster felt the same.

“This isn’t fair to us. We don’t even have a chance to succeed at this!” Rooster stood up. “You’re asking us to do the impossible and likely die trying.”

“Take a seat, lieutenant.” Bates boomed. “I have more to say.” He waited until the pilots calmed down before continuing, “Yes, your timeline has been moved up, but the Air Force is now providing you additional air support. They will be launching a wave of fighters in between the second and third flights that we’re launching to lay down covering fire and help us take out any additional ground forces that we may encounter.”

Rooster felt better for a moment, but then thought about his last attempt at flying the course. He’d barely made it two thirds of the way down when he’d been shot down, and even if he hadn’t been shot down, he still would have run out of time to reach the target before it was too well defended for him to infiltrate. It won’t matter if we have multiple flights if they see us all coming and have time to organize themselves.

“We have also assigned everyone’s roles.” Bates continued, and Rooster noticed Hangman sit up in his chair. “For the first flight, we’ll have Rooster as our bomber and Hangman as our gunner.”

Hangman turned around and grinned at Rooster, and Rooster’s heart sank again. Hangman was not known for being the best at being a teamplayer. “I got you.” Hangman mouthed to Rooster.

“Our second flight will be Fritz as the bomber and Phoenix and Bob as the gunners, and the third flight will be Fanboy as the gunner and Coyote as the bomber.” Coyote and Fanboy high fived, and Rooster wondered how they could be celebrating right now. “Our reserve teams will be Halo and Omaha, and Hardvard and Yale.” Bates looked out at the young pilots, wondering for what felt like the hundredth time if he was sending them to an early grave, but steeled himself and went on, “Let’s get to practicing.”

Rooster felt the familiar rush of adrenaline as he took off with Hangman not far behind him. Admiral Bates came over the radio, “Alright boys, you’re six minutes to target. No pressure but if you don’t nail this, your teammates may all die. Stay focused, you have the skills to accomplish this mission.”

Rooster swallowed hard, switched his radio to where only he and Hangman could hear each other and said, “This is not the time for you to be showing off, got it?”

Hangman’s laugh crackled through the radio. “I’m not a show off, Rooster! Besides, haven’t I proven that I have your back when it counts?”

Rooster scoffed and turned his focus back to the mission course. “We’re coming up on those first few anti-aircraft missiles, go up!” Rooster angled the nose of his plane sharply upwards, climbing to avoid the missiles’ range, with Hangman following suit. 

They flew through the silent clouds, and for just a moment Rooster felt a glimpse of peace, but he was quickly interrupted by Hangman on the comms, “Down we go!” He called, and the two dove back down low, avoiding another set of missiles.

“You’re five seconds behind time right now, lieutenants.” Bates said. “Pick it up, we can’t send the next flight until you’re closer to the target.”

Rooster groaned and pushed on his throttle, picking up speed. “If I go much faster than this, it’s going to be hard to avoid the missiles.”

“I’m not having any problems!” Hangman quipped, and Rooster fumed.

“Three seconds behind now, keep going.” Rooster and Hangman were now hurtled over the course, narrowly avoiding the radar on the “missiles” that were scattered along their flight path. “Two seconds behind.”

“Come on!” Rooster growled, pushing even harder on his throttle

“Alright, gentlemen, you’ve caught up and are on time to target, sending the second flight in thirty seconds.”

Rooster could hear Hangman whooping over their comms. How is he enjoying this? Rooster thought angrily, ignoring the rush of excitement in his gut.

“Flight one, you’re now two minutes from the target; flight two, take-off in ten, nine, eight…” Bates counted down the second flight and soon, Fritz, Phoenix, and Bob joined the airwaves.

“T-minus four minutes to target.” Bob said, sounding nervous already.

Bates replied, “Keep your speed up, you have fewer missiles to avoid than anyone else, so you shouldn’t have a problem making it to target on time.”

“Why do they get the easy course and we get the hard one?” Hangman whined.

“Shut up, Hangman.” Rooster’s nerves were fried.

“Flight one, you will be on target in sixty seconds, Hangman, arm your weapons system now.” Bates sounded tense as well.

“Roger, roger!” Hangman called back, still sounding like he was having the time of his life.

Rooster began laying down suppressing fire as they approached the giant circle of rocks that was their target, and Hangman was counting down, “Payload drops in three, two, one!” Hangman fired two missiles towards the target, both of them missing narrowly.

“Miss!” Bates yelled, “Get out of there! Flight two, you are going to be flying into enemy defense in two minutes and thirty seconds. Air Force flight taking off in one minute.”

Hangman was swearing angrily over the radio, and Rooster’s arms were already hurting from the number of push ups he was going to have to do as soon as he landed. “I could have sworn I had it!” Hangman said.

“Yeah, well obviously not.” Rooster replied. “Maybe next time, take it a little bit more seriously?”

“Shut up, Rooster.”

“Flight two, you’re thirty seconds to target and one second behind time, pick it up!” Bates was still running the mission.

“I’m hit!” Fritz cried, alarms audible in the background.

“Is it critical?” Bates asked.

Fritz paused, “What?”

“Are your engines or missile launching systems damaged?” 

“Well, no, but–”

“Then you keep going, flight two. Ten seconds to target.” Bates’ voice was ice cold.

“Launching missiles now.” Fritz said somberly.

“You got one hit and one miss.” Bates said, a hint of relief in his voice. “Air Force flight taking off now, they’ll hit targets A and B. Flight three, two minutes to launch.”

“Eat shit, Hangman!” Phoenix whooped.

“Yeah, yeah.” Hangman muttered, “Landing now.”

Hangman and Rooster landed at base, and hurried into mission command, where Bates’ second in command, Captain Leah “Racer” Kane, was waiting with a smirk on her face. “Two hundred and fifty a piece, gentlemen. Get to it!”

After what felt like hours, Rooster had finally finished his pushups and was collapsing into a chair in the hangar for debriefing. Hangman was noticeably more serious, and Rooster smiled to himself. 

Bates walked in and cleared his throat, silencing the pilots’ quiet chatter. “That was not terrible, but you have to do better.” He looked at Hangman and Rooster, “For some of you, the mission was a complete failure, but thanks to the efforts of the rest of the team, you ended up damaging two camps and destroying one.”

Phoenix whooped quietly, high fiving Bob and Fritz. “You’re welcome.” She said to Hangman, smiling smugly.

Hangman rolled his eyes. “What’s to stop us from coming back and hitting them again while they’re down?”

“Because then we would need two teams like you, and it has been difficult enough getting this few of you to come close to accomplishing this.” Bates replied, “Not to mention the training and transportation costs, and potential casualties that would be associated with it.” He frowned at them, “But, it won’t matter, because you’re going to take them all out on the first try. Right?”

The pilots nodded, murmuring their assent. “What’s the plan if we never complete the mission before it’s time to go?” Coyote asked.

Bates’ glare intensified, “That won’t be a problem, because you’re going to complete the mission.” He clapped his hands together, “Take thirty minutes, and then reassemble back here to run the mission again.”

*

Thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it! 💙💙

*

Taglist

To be added, like this post!

@thegirlwhowishesonstars

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@burningcoffeecupp

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@the-untamed-soul

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@jayla1234

@madison--xoxo

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@spidey-d00d

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

War Rages On: part 2 (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Words: 3234

A/N: Still don’t know where I’m going with this story but I’m really having fun writing this and I hope you’ll like it! Don’t forget to tell me if you want to be tag for the next parts :)

Previously: part 1

Steve had found Bucky deep in the forest of Wakanda. Escorted by the kind T’Challa, he led him to the man they called the White Wolf. He had found his redemption away from mankind. Surrounded by trees and animals, Y/N and him had lived a simple life inside their cottage up until that moment. Before this, Steve had no intention to bring them back. He had planned to come visit the couple but most importantly to let them have their happy ending, to keep them from monsters that had tried so many times to tore them apart. He couldn’t imagine two people more deserving of peace than them. The King of Wakanda had outdone himself to make sure this was achievable.

“Do you remember the last time you saw her ?” Steve asked him.

Bucky sat on a rock near a river, hastily ruffling his hair.

“She left a couple days ago” He recounted. “She had a message from Stark on the burner phone you gave her”

“What did it say ?”

“Need your help asap - Romanoff compromised. An address was attached”

He got worried when he saw Steve dropping his head and rubbing his eyes in frustration. He had known him long enough to guess something was bothering him.

“Buck’, Tony didn’t send anything.” The Soldier confessed.

“What do you mean ?”

The familiar sensation of anxiety started to form in the pit of his stomach despite the lack of information. He knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear.

“I don’t know what happened, but somebody pretending to be him wrote that message”

“That’s impossible” He shook his head, refusing to believe him.

“Buck’ ..”

“She left, Steve. She left to go help him” He vehemently cut him. He stood up and started pacing. His friend could see his whole demeanor slowly shifting. “If she’s not with Stark, then where is she ?!”

“I don’t know” The Captain replied. Admitting it to his friend was almost too painful.

“Have you talk to the others ? Do they know anything ?”

He was looking more and more like a madman. His body had already understood what his mind failed to grasp.

“She send Sam an SOS”

“What ?” He said it in a whisper, instantaneously freezing on the spot.

“Bucky, I’m sorry but she’s missing”

“She can’t be” He felt the panic beginning to creep into his chest.

He turned back to look at his friend.

“That’s not … She said she’d be back” He explained, as if it would make perfect sense that she couldn’t be gone, as if that promise had been enough to keep her safe “.. She … She always comes back to me”

He dropped on the floor, the captain barely had enough time to catch him. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow. He felt it hit him like a hurricane. There was a logical explanation, but the only one he could think of was worst than any nightmare.

“Steve if it’s …” He suddenly sounded alarmed.

“It might not be” The Captain answered. He didn’t know which one of them he was trying to convince the most.

“Who else ?”

His friend stayed silent. His mind couldn’t wrapped around the fact that this could be happening, that they were potentially facing another threat.

“They’re still after me” The Sergeant muttered. “It’d make sense”

“Even if it’s Hydra, we’ll still find her” Steve promised.

“What if it’s too late ?” Bucky dared to think about that possibility, his eyes drifting into space.

“It’s not”

The soldier put a comforting hand on the Sergeant’s shoulder. When he glanced up at him, he saw the reassurance he so desperately needed. He knew this look by heart, he had seen it so many time on Steve’s face growing up. He had that same determination every time he went on to fight someone twice his size, the confidence and fierceness that had built Captain America.

“C’mon, get up.” He ordered with force. “We’re gonna find her”

He silently followed him, his mind running a mile an hour. He couldn’t remember a time he had felt so vulnerable. The mere thought of her somewhere with Hydra was enough to reopen his deepest wounds. He knew what they were capable of, he had lived through the endless torture for years and to picture a fraction of it being done on her was too much.

Steve had taken him to a jet. After several hours of flight, they had landed in a location he didn’t recognize. The place looked like headquarters, abandoned in the middle of nowhere. They were surrounded by large trees. When they walked out of the plane, Bucky recognized the distinct sent of mint and pine mixed together. He glanced around, trying to find a clue as to where they were, but all he could see was the woods. No other indication.

“What is this place ?” He asked Steve as they walk inside the building.

Before his friend could answer he heard another voice speaking, the sound resonating on the walls.

“Secure location not far from Warsaw, outside of the radars”

Bucky didn’t hide his surprise when he found himself face to face with Tony Stark. The billionaire saw him tense, his body instinctively going into defense mode.

“At ease, soldier” He sighed. “We’re not here to fight”

Still he didn’t ushered a word and looked back and forth between the two men in front of him.  After what had happened between them before he found shelter in Wakanda, he wasn’t sure how to behave around Stark.

“Have you find anything ?” Steve inquired, folding his hands behind his back.

“Sam checked the address you sent me” Stark started to explain. “We were about to take a look at the security footage”

He guided the soldiers to a room that seemed like it had been restored at the last minute. There was a violent contrast between the dust on the floor, the half broken chairs and the high-tech computers Tony had most likely installed. It definitely looked like a hideout. He first noticed Natasha Romanoff leaning on the large table at the center of the room. She was studying a file. Next to her was Sam Wilson, scrolling on a tablet he was holding with intense concentration.

Steve greeted both of them with a simple nod and Bucky noticed the side looks he was being given but chose to not acknowledge them. Stark started to type on his computer and the enormous screen he had placed on one of the wall turned itself on.  

“Here’s what we know so far” Tony told them.

Bucky recognized a screenshot of the message sent to Y/N on the burner phone, the very same one he was carrying in his pocket.

“I was not able to trace the id or the location”

As he spoke, Stark watched the Sergeant from the corner of his eyes taking a sit on a half torn armchair.

“But whomever send this was pretending to be me”

“How were they able to get her number ? Only you and I are supposed to have that information” Steve interrogated.

“I’m getting there, Captain.” Tony answered. “Somebody infiltrated my system and discreetly hijacked it to get into classified data”

The Sergeant suddenly raised his head and with a flick of the fingers, Stark projected details of his firewall system on the screen.

“They left a trail. Sloppy work if you ask me”

“Get to the point, Tony” Natasha reminded him.

The man rolled his eyes before continuing his explanations.

“They searched through every files I have on Barnes. What they were looking for exactly? I don’t know, but I have a vague idea”

“My location” Bucky whispered.

“Bingo. They were after you, and when they realized I was smart enough not to put any compromising informations, they moved to plan B”

“What’s plan B ?” Sam severely asked.

“If you can’t find the Winter Soldier, then let him find you.” Stark directly offered the hypothesis.

“They’re using Y/N as leverage” Steve finally understood.

“Exactly”

Bucky rubbed his eyes in frustration. This was looking more and more like Hydra’s modus operandi.

“Who is they ?” Romanoff questioned.

“I might have an answer to that” Sam replied, waving his tablet. “I found something on the security footage”

A video without sound started playing and instantly Bucky stood up. His eyes traveling from one corner of the screen to the other, he was closely studying every movement. Whomever was doing this had smartly brought the woman in the middle of the city and away from any camera that could incriminate them.

“Y/N is waiting in the corner of the street, then this man approaches her. She takes a step back, probably figured out something was wrong.” The Falcon explained. “All we can see is her reaching for her phone behind her back, which we know now was to send an SOS”

“Any identification on the guy ?” Natasha inquired.

“No. He stayed hidden from the cameras. He knew exactly where they were”

“Why didn’t she attack ?” Tony pondered. “She could have taken him easily”

“Busy street” Bucky answered mechanically. “If you want somebody to comply, lure them in the middle of a crowd. One move and someone else die. Works all the time”

“Of course you’d know about that” The billionaire muttered under his breath.

Steve hadn’t talk yet. His eyes were glued to the screen. Something wasn’t adding up and he didn’t know what. He watched the video playing four times, his hands on his hips, deep in concentration.

“Rewind it” He ordered Sam.

The man didn’t question the request and did as he was told. Shape after shape the Captain analyzed every detail until the information he was missing was right in front of him.

“Stop there”

The video froze and they stared at the frame, trying to figure out what he was seeing.

“What is it, Steve ?” The Russian spy inquired.

“Can you zoom in ?” He asked, ignoring the first question.

Tony took the tablet in his hand and started to play with it.

“What am I looking for ?”

“His neck” He simply said. “He has a tattoo”

His friend raised an eyebrow in surprise, but got to work. Typing on his keyboard, he cut the video’s frame, zoomed in and used a program to polish the picture and create a clear image of the ink on the man’s body.

As soon as Bucky saw it, he felt a cold shiver running down his spine. What he feared the most had only been theoretical until then, there was still a slight hope he was wrong, a one percent chance he was holding onto that he wasn’t living his worst nightmare. And all that came crashing down when he recognized the pattern of a skull he knew by heart.

“No..No, no, no, no” He kept repeating, pacing around the room, panic striking in his veins. “This is not happening, this is not…”

The Captain stopped him in his track, putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Buck’ ..”

“They have her, Steve. They have Y/N” He was terrified, and his friend could clearly hear it in his voice.

The others were following their interaction, not yet understanding what was happening. Steve raised his head, still holding his brother emotionally breaking apart, and looked at them with an alarmed expression that did nothing to ease their worry.

“We had our suspicion on who might have pulled up something like this » He told them. « Frankly, I was hoping we were wrong”

“Who is it ?” Romanoff demanded.

“…Hydra” Bucky murmured, his head low and his human hand shaking.

They all tensed in the room and the silence that followed was frightening.

“Are you sure ?” The Falcon asked.

Steve stared at the projecting image on the wall, pursing his lips.

“Yes, Sam. It’s them” He answered with a heavy voice filled with concern.

Bucky felt the tears on his cheeks before he realized he was crying. His breathing had become unsteady and he was slowly faltering. He quickly excused himself and left the building. He needed the air.

He was trying so hard not to panic but he seemed paralyzed. There was suddenly a menacing aura around him, holding him in a tightening grip. He could feel his temperature rising, a clear sign of his anxiety, his fear. It was a living force creeping over him like a hungry beast, fed by the agonizing possibility he might lose her. He started to take shaky small breath, like Y/N had taught him every time he had a panic attack, but without her to guide him, it was useless. His pulse was beating in his ears, blocking all the other sounds, and he was sweating. There was a lump in his throat, an emotion so large it was aching to be released. He wanted to scream, to punch something, to beg for mercy. Alas, he closed his eyes, trying to focus his senses on one thing only, find her.

And just as the thought crossed his mind, he felt the tiny device he had in his pocket vibrate. He took his phone out, but nothing was displayed on the screen. Then he realized it wasn’t the right one. Fishing in his pants, he found was he was looking for and grabbed the burner phone. One message. When he opened it, the color quickly drained from his face.

« She won’t stay alive for long, unless you come home. Not Romania, not Brooklyn, your real home. No Avenger. You know the consequences of disobedience »

Attached to it was a photo. His heart stopped and his metal fist clenched the phone so hard he accidentally broke it when he saw the picture of the woman he loved, arms chained on a ceiling, body dangling in the air and covered in blood. He absently stared at his hands, thinking back to their time in Wakanda, in peace, away from the world. Just the two of them. What a difference a couple of days could make. He knew what he wanted to do. There was not an ounce of hesitation in him, only the desire to make sure she would make it out of there alive.

So engrossed in his own thoughts, he didn’t hear someone creeping in behind him. Natasha silently stood next to him. Was it out of pity or emotional support, he couldn’t tell. She observed him for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows like she was trying to read him, before she turned back to look at the sky.

“You know where she is”

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

“What makes you say that ?”

“Two fossils from the 1930’s with the same instinct of preservation and the same tendencies to make stupid decisions based on emotions. Not exactly hard to put two and two together. You and Steve have a lot in common”

He pursed his lips.

“Are you gonna tell them ?” He asked, looking back at the abandoned building.

“Still debating.” She admitted. “You’re not really stupid, Barnes. You know you can’t take them all by yourself”

“That wasn’t my intention”

“Then what’s your plan ?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to, she could see it in his whole demeanor. It was in the way he stood up straight, in the way he was clenching his jaw, in the way his eyes held so much determination and purpose.

“You don’t intend on coming back, do you ?”

“I can’t let them kill her” He explained.

“A suicide mission is by far the most stupid idea you could come up with”

“It’s the only one I’ve got” He replied, resigned.

He turned to look at her. The calmness he was displaying was enough to know he had made up his mind and honestly, it frightened her.

“I don’t think you know how much she means to me, Natasha. I don’t deserve her love, I really don’t, but somehow she saw something worth fighting for in me. She saw all the cracks, all the flaws and all the mistakes I’ve made and she didn’t run. She stood by my side and fought for me. She’s my sanity. She’s all the good that’s left in me. She’s the name I whisper when I’m scared my memories are fading. I can’t take the risk to lose her because if that happens, I’ll lose myself and there will be no come back this time”

The lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything more and he gulped, trying to make the feeling of anxiety subside.

“Whatever it takes, and whatever I’ll have to do, I swear she will get out of there alive” He nodded to no one in particular, a silent and simple sign he would not change his mind.

“At what cost ? What are we suppose to tell her when you won’t be here anymore ?”

“That I fought for her the same way she did for me”

His response shut her up. His voice held so much serenity and resolve she knew it would be useless to argue. She understood where he was coming from, just like she understood the sacrifice he was ready to make.

“There’s a version of this where we win, Barnes. Keep that in mind. It doesn’t have to end in pain or worse. Fight with everything you’ve got and don’t stop until both of you are safe”

He sadly smiled.

“You’ve definitely spent too much time with Steve”

She rolled her eyes before turning to stand in front of him. She hesitated a moment, words on the tip of her tongue.

“I’m sorry this is happening” She gloomily confessed. “But you know why they want you, right ?”

“The Winter Soldier” He replied, closing his eyes. “They want him back”

“Just so we’re clear here, Bucky, and just in case, you have to be aware that the moment you’ll get there, they will torture you to get him back. Your mind is already damaged, you won’t hold long”

“I just need to hold long enough to get her out of there” He vehemently assured her, gritting his teeth.

“Your plan is to walk out with her” She reminded him, insisting on the words.

He glanced down at her and judging by the look in his eyes, she knew what he was about to ask her before he even spoke.

“If it comes to the worse, if I become … him again …” He started.

“I know” She cut him. He didn’t need to say the word, she knew thinking about it was already more than enough pain for him.

She stood there, watched him get into the jet him and Steve had taken to get there, and did nothing. It was useless to try to convince him to stay, he was too stubborn to listen. And she knew this was his best shot at getting back the woman he loved alive. She was aware Hydra would not spare the lovers and she prayed they were ready for the fight that was ahead of them. The Avengers would find them eventually, hopefully before it was too late. She turned around when she saw the jet flying in the air and walked silently back inside the building. She would keep that conversation and the promise she had made a secret, and hope whatever Bucky had planned, it would be enough to prevent the worse from happening.

Tag list: @briannareneea985​ - @bangtanxberm​  - @kissmyoops - @steve-is-daddy​

I have some slightly controversial take about Sam Wilson fandom here, so maybe don’t reblog this post... Comment if you want, but I really don’t want to start arguing with anyone. I just need to vent and will probably delete the whole rant later.

So...

I know that Sam’s fans complain a lot about the treatment he gets in the fandom... I still do that from time to time and I probably will continue doing it in the future. But I’m starting to feel very, very tired with the people who act like their love for Sam can only be expressed through:

1) criticizing other people’s content,

2) hatered/dislike for Bucky or Sambucky,

3) complaining about other people in the fandom.

It’s so weird. We criticize the people who make Bucky-centric content with barely any mention of Sam and tag it with his name, because it’s annoying, but at the same time there is quite a big number of fans, whose posts in Sam Wilson tag are basically:

“omg he never gets recognition”, “MCU fandom hates Sam”, “Everything is about Bucky, where is Sam?!” “some of you only like sam when he’s with bucky :/”

And... sure. There’s a lot of truth to these statements. But saying that over and over again won’t fix the problem, especially if you yourself don’t do ANYTHING to remedy the situation. You’re flooding the tag too... Just in a different way. A few months ago I had this habit that I liked to follow people who wrote posts like these. Because I had this assumption that: if you complain about Sam being treated badly you probably love him a lot, so we should get along. I love him too!

But I realized that a lot of those people literally complain for the sake of complaining and than don’t even try to post Sam-centric content on their own. Why not??? You don’t have to be an amazing creator to make a good post. It’s not just about realistic fanart and 30k words fanfic with a complicated plot. You might write some weird HCs about Sam instead. Or a joke. Incorrect quotes. Ideas for fics you’ll never finish, but might inspire other people. Doodles that took 2 minutes of drawing. Edited photos. Favourite screenshots. Prompts. Learn to make poor-quality gifs of Sam’s cool fightigh style. Write a short scene analysis. Or ask other people how they analyse some scenes to start a discussion. Link some edits from YouTube.

And if you cannot think of a single thing to make on your own? Well. You can always promote art made by other people. Go through the tag and reblog things you loved. Find a good blog and search throught their archives to find older content. You can compile a post with fic recommendations so other people read what you enjoyed and see how good the content about Sam might be. Or recommend your favourite creators in general. Send encouraging asks to artists who you love so they feel motivated.

--- ----- ---

But these people do none of that. I can scroll throught their blog for 10 minutes and everything about Sam Wilson I see is complaining that people like Bucky more. Or that Sambucky is popular. (As if all the best Sambucky stories aren’t just fans expressing their love towards Sam through Bucky’s eyes...) I’m not trying to say that you have to be a creator to criticize the fandom, but it’s weird when you only yell at others for not posting enough about Sam when you didn’t post anything about him either unless it’s complaining. Kind of ironic...

Also! If you don’t promote other people’s content they get discoraged from posting. It’s a fact. I have probably over 80 different half-made and finished drawings with Sam Wilson on my tablet, but I have zero incentive to post any of them, because every attempt in the past ended with these posts getting 4 notes. Or 10 at best. So why bother? I can look at them alone. And I don’t remember these people who complained about the lack of Sam content supporting my Sam-centric art with nice comments.

You cannot expect the fandom to mass-produce content for you if you don’t encourage it. I got no feedback, so now I just sort of... write or draw for myself, because I enjoy it and have no incentive to publish any of that when no one’s interested. Instead I just make writing prompts or analysis of tfatws, because there’s a bigger chance I’ll have an interesting disussion with other fans in the comments or I’ll inspire other creators to make more art by posting that. I enjoy both of those things very much, but one evokes a reaction I want and the other just... doesn’t. (It’s not even about validation... even if it’s nice to get compliments. It’s just: “when other people are clearly not interested, why make the art public at all?”.)

--- ----- ---

Like I said. I’m not going to call out any specific person here. But there were a few people who harshly criticized me in asks or in private messages for “pretending to love Sam” just because I like Sambucky too. But if you scroll through my blog you’ll find that at least 95% of the posts are about Sam. And if you scroll through theirs it’s 3 posts - all of them about fandom not loving Sam enough. (I just checked.)

But I guess I’m a “disgrace to the fandom”, because I acknowledge that Sam might have a love interest while you said you hate Bucky, so... Apparently your love for Sam Wilson is more real if you despise more popular characters he interacts with. ...Be honest with yourselves. Some of you just like to whine and complain, but prefer to disguise it behind love for Sam, so it sounds justified.

And yes. There should be more content that is only about Sam. Or about Sam’s non-romantic relationships. Sure. But if my two choices are: “get a Sambucky fic about Bucky loving Sam very much” or “get a post where someone cries about Sam not being loved enough for the 10th time”... then pardon me for preferring the first option.

If any of you spent half the energy you waste on complaining on making a single post about your supposed love for Sam the tag would be much more full of good content. But it seems like making actual content requires more effort and talent, so you just stay there whining that other people don’t provide you with what you want and demand. And give zero encouragement and promotion to those who do the work.

So continue doing that if you wish. But I won’t waste all my energy on making my weekly “this fandom fucking sucks” post. I prefer promoting cool art other users made (now or years ago) and creating my own posts that might not be always 100% about only Sam... but are still focused on him. Because I like this fictional little guy. I’m not going to let this weird purity tests ruin my enjoyment. If the pretty drawing of Sam has Bucky on the other side of the canvas I still have a cool drawing of Sam to admire. So it’s a win for me.

--- ----- ---

[Reminder: please don’t reblog this. I really just need to vent. Comments are okay, I can discuss this. I just don’t want some peope to see that and go yell at me all over again. I was already harassed for allowing Bucky or Steve on my mostly Sam-Wilson-centric blog...]

[Also... if you think this is hypocritical of me to complain about complaining... Maybe. I don’t think it’s comparable here, but whatever.]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

Goodbye Love (t.h.)

Summary: Tom doesn’t realize how much being shipped with another woman hurts you, until you leave.

AN: i did a concept like this with a ben hardy imagine so I thought I’d do it with Tom. This is old and is one of the 41 drafts i have saved but too scared to post lol SO i hope you enjoy (using hailey bieber as a face claim cause i felt weird having a faceless photo of someone on a red carpet) xx

Ever since Tom had finished filming Spider-Man: Far From Home, the tomdaya shippers have been in full swing.

Shipping them ten times as hard as they did the first time. It was easy to ignore but now it was getting hard. Especially when Tom isn’t doing anything to make it stop.

His fans found an interview of him, being asked if he found his Liz Allen in real life and when he answered yes, the video was edited to show videos and pictures of him and Zendaya. Even though in that interview he was talking about you.

Currently in Atlanta, you sat on the bed you shared with Tom, Tessa laying close to you, almost as if she knew that you were upset. You were waiting for Tom to come home, though you were a nervous wreck. How were you supposed to tell him how you felt and that you were going home for a little bit?

“Love, I’m home!” Tom called from the living room. You didn’t move and neither did Tessa. Which was odd because she always left to go greet Tom when he got home.

He entered the room and saw you two on the bed. “There are my girls.” He greeted with a smile on his face. He walked over and tried to kiss your lips but you moved your head so his lips landed on your cheek instead.

Tom looked at you for a moment, a curious look falling on his face. “What’s wrong?” He asked. Tom knew you inside and out and he could tell something was wrong with you.

You didn’t look up at him, just handed him your phone with the screenshots and screen recordings, of people praising him and Zendaya’s nonexistent relationship and degrading you and your real one.

“Two years, Tom. I’ve been going through this for two years.” You finally spoke. “At first, I ignored it. Knowing I could put up with it for a few months while the movie was out and you were doing press. Then it just kept getting worse. Seeing people call me terrible names and wanting you to break up with me and wanting me to-” You started but stopping yourself, the more intense comments being worse than most. “Y/N-“ He tried to speak. “And you know what the worst part is? You haven’t done a single thing to end it.” You cut him off.

You still hadn’t looked at him when you got off the bed and grabbed the two bags you packed.

Tom watched you place them on the bed and his heart started to beat faster and his eyes widened. “W-What are you doing?” He asked. “I think, I should go back to LA for a little bit and just let you think things through. Is letting your fans have some fun with the idea of tomdaya worth losing me?” You replied.

“Y/N, please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me.” Tom begged, tears welling up in his eyes. “We’re just taking a break, Tom. But if you decide that I’m not worth it, that’s going to be it.” You told him. You picked up the bags and headed towards the door when Tom grabbed your wrist. “Please don’t leave.” Tom whispered.

You looked at him for a moment before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I have too.” You whispered back. Tom reluctantly let go of your wrist as you opened the door.

Tessa got down off the bed and began to follow you out the bedroom door. The dog began to cry softly as you headed towards the front door of the airbnb. “Goodbye, love.” You said to Tom before exiting the house.

Tom watched you leave, the tears falling freely at that point. He didn’t know it had gotten so bad for you. He’s ignored the shipping a million times knowing it was you he loved but he never knew you were second guessing everything about your relationship and yourself.

He ran his hands through his hair out of frustration before retreating back to the bedroom.

***

It had been three weeks. Three weeks since he had seen you. Of course he’d seen the photos of you in LA. Just because you’re going through something emotionally, doesn’t mean your career stops.

You had been doing a bunch of press for the TV season you had just wrapped before you went to Atlanta with Tom. It was the best idea you could think of to get your mind off of Tom.

He wasn’t having such luck. Everything reminded him of you and he wasn’t the same knowing that your relationship was in the balance. And everyone around him noticed.

“Tom, what’s going on?” Zendaya asked him one day. “Y/N didn’t leave for work, she left because of the fans shipping you and I. She couldn’t take it anymore.” Tom answered. “What do you mean?” She asked. “I’m supposed to be her boyfriend and you’re supposed to be her friend and yet we let thousands of people ship us together, without even thinking of how that could make Y/N feel.” Tom ranted.

Zendaya had never thought of that before. She didn’t realize just how cruel the fans were until she checked while she was talking to Tom.

“Oh yeah. This is, uh, very bad.” Zendaya said. Tom looked at her phone and noticed that there were new comments.

‘Y/N is so beneath Tom. Zendaya is a queen’

‘Y/N should just kill herself.’

‘Y/N’s show is gonna flop and then tom will see how much better zendaya is’

‘tomdaya is better.’

Tom’s stomach twisted seeing all the negative comments about his girlfriend and one wanting her to end her life. If they were really his fans, they’d support him 100%. “How could they be so cruel?” Tom asked. “I don’t know but maybe we do need to say something.” Zendaya replied.

“I need to get her to come back.” He muttered. “You setting your fans straight will do that.” Zendaya told him. Tom nodded his head before taking out his phone and posting an old picture of you at the Infinity War premiere.

@tomholland2013: i am going to be blunt and i’ve never done this before so bear with me. but the constant shipping of Zendaya and I, had gotten out of hand. I am in a happy and loving relationship with the woman in this photo. You don’t have to like it but you have to respect it. Y/N is the love of my life and seeing her being brought down my total strangers, breaks my heart. No fan of mine brings her down. And that���s that. @y/f/n_y/l/n

You got the notification that Tom had tagged you in a photo. Swiping your phone, you read the caption carefully. “He finally did it.” You said to yourself. But why now, two weeks later?

That conversation wasn’t one to have over the phone so you had your agent get you the next flight to Atlanta.

“Are you sure you want to leave half way through press?” She asked you. “I have too. Everyone will understand, they know how much Tom means to me.” You answered. “Okay. Your flight lands at 9:45 and pack an umbrella. There’s supposed to be a huge storm when you land.” She told you. You gave her a gracious smile before getting in your Uber.

***

Tom sat on the couch, quietly watching whatever soccer game was on, only wishing you were there next to him. You hated watched soccer with him because of how competitive he got but whenever he asked, you watched with him. 

He was knocked out of his reminiscing by the sound of his phone vibrating. Seeing it was Harrison, he sighed but picked it up. “Hello?” He answered. “Are you still sulking?” Harrison asked his best friend. “What do you think?” Tom retorted. “You have to stop that, Tom. She’ll come back when she’s ready.” Harrison told him. 

Tom sighed, knowing well that Harrison could hear. “Look, you saw the comments. They’re terrible. Telling her to kill herself so that you and Zendaya can finally be together. You don’t get over something like that over a few nights.” He added. “I know, but I just wish I could make it better. It’s been three weeks.” Tom said. “I know but you did all you can do. It’s all up to her now.” Harrison said. 

Tom knew his best friend was right. He knew you needed time to yourself, to make sure you were fully ready to come back to him. “But, if it’s any consolation, I had a surprise sent to your doorstep.” Harrison added. “What?” Tom questioned. “And you might wanna hurry up and bring it inside before it gets absolutely soaked.” He said. 

With furrowed eyebrows Tom got off the couch with his phone still pressed to his ear. “What are you on about?” Tom asked him. “Just do it.” Harrison ordered. Tom rolled his eyes and walked towards the door. He opened it up to reveal a soaking wet you. 

“Hi, love.” You greeted him, the sound of the rain nearly drowning out your voice. “Y/N, w-wha- you’re here.” Tom stammered. “Yes, I am now can you please let me inside before I get pneumonia?” You asked with a small laugh. 

Tom didn’t let you inside but instead hung up the phone and walked outside to pull you into him. He didn’t care if you were soaked from the rain or the fact that he was also getting wet as well. The only thing that mattered to him was you. 

“Tom, you’re going to get sick.” You told him, breaking the silence. “I don’t care. That’s the last thing I care about. I just need to hold you.” He replied.

You let go and looked up at him for a moment. “Y/N, I was a mess without you. You are everything to me and not having you here was hell.” Tom told you. “I love you, I am so in love with you. And I’m so sorry.” He added.

You didn’t say anything at first but wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down closer to you, to place a deep kiss on his lips.

Pulling apart, he rested his forehead on yours. “Let’s get inside before you catch a cold.” You told him, pushing him inside the house.

Tessa barked and ran to you and a large smile made it’s way to your face. “Tess! I missed you!” You greeted the dog, crouching down to her level. Tom smiled at the sight, feeling as if everything was back to normal.

“Y/N,” Tom started, causing you to turn to face him. He offered you his hand, which you took, to help you up from your crouched position. “I will never make you feel unimportant again. I am so sorry.” He said. You gave him a warm smile before kissing him gently.

“I know. It’s okay.” You replied. “I love you, Y/N. With everything I have.” He told you. “And I love you.” You said, the two of you plus Tessa cuddling on the couch for the night. 

beautiful- b.boeser

requested [] yes [x] no

brock boeser x plus-size reader

a/n: y’all I really love this it was very self endlugent and yeah, please show it some love 🥺

You smiled, seeing a notification come up in your phone.

@bboeser tagged you in a photo

You opened up Instagram in record speed, a grin overcoming your face at the picture, you and Easton passed out on the couch, coolie and milo curled up at your feet.

“aunt y/n holding down the fort, uncle Brock just gets to watch”

You laughed to yourself at the caption, liking the photo and taking a screenshot of it. You heard the dogs jumping around downstairs, you were about to lock your phone and head downstairs to greet Brock, when you caught a glimpse of a comment. You read it, once, twice, three times, shocked that people who didn’t even know you could just be so cruel. They pointed out how chubby you looked, and how your shirt was tugged into the small roll in your stomach, it took a long time for you to become so confident, you loved yourself, and you knew Brock loved you and that’s all that mattered. But, we all know, when people point out your flaws it’s hard to not hyperfixate on them. Of course you hadn’t looked your best in the picture, you were babysitting Easton, and ended up falling asleep on the couch with him on top of you, your head tilted down to rest on top of his, which of course, made the fullness under your chin more noticeable. You suddenly found yourself chewing on your lip as you refreshed the page, scrolling through the hundred more comments, if you were being truthful, only a fraction of them were rude, most of them were sweet, but it felt like all you could see were the bad ones.

You scrolled through them, moving into the bathroom, you stood in front of the mirror, you were in a pair of leggings and a sports bra, having just been out back playing with the dogs, in the privacy of your and Brock’s yard, but suddenly you felt like you had a million pairs of eyes on you. You read a comment, pointing out the way you had the roll in your stomach, especially towards the sides, you looked in the mirror, eyes instantly falling on the spot, adorned with stretch marks. Your weight had always gone up and down, especially when you were just a young teenager, and now you were littered with stretch marks that would never go away. Not usually something that bothered you, all that you ever worried about was your health, and you were healthy, despite what people were trying to say in the comments, automatically assuming because you were full figured, that you did have a little bit of a stomach, that your thighs were nowhere near having a gap, that your arms had just a little bit of extra weight on them, that you were unhealthy. God how you hated that assumption, it was so rude to assume anyone who wasn’t the typical skinny was unhealthy. Your eyes trained on the marks on your stomach once again, your fingers delicately running over the darker lines, something Brock would do when you laid together on the couch, normally something that made you feel good. Every time he would do the subtle gesture, it made you feel good, feminine, cared for, but in this moment the thought of him ever seeing them again, made your heart jump in your chest. Surely, after reading these, he couldn’t think of you the same again. “Baby?” Brock called, his feet flopping against the stairs, you sucked in a sharp breath, meeting your eyes in the mirror and seeing the so prominent redness in them from the tears welling up. You quickly splashed some water on your face, wiping it off with a towel in an attempt to get rid of some redness, you heard him starting his way down the hallway, and you rushed to grab a shirt, even though it was unlawfully hot outside today, hence the reason you were only in the lightweight leggings and bra. You quickly tugged the material over your head, grimacing when you realized it was one of Brock’s shirts, that just didn’t fit your curves properly, I mean yeah it fit, technically, but it tugged tightly in all the wrong places.

It sat taught on your stomach, showing everything you were trying to hide, but loose in your chest where you weren’t as full as people would think you should be, you were about to tug it back off when you heard him push the door open. “There you are, you didn’t answer me and I got worried.” He sighed softly, walking up behind you, arms going around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Sorry, I spaced out.” You laughed softly, hoping your voice didn’t give you away. He hummed in acknowledgment but you could feel his eyes studying the side of your face, suddenly your thoughts wandered to how horrible your side profile must be, so you tilted your head back to meet his eyes. “I missed you, beautiful.” He mumbled, leaning to press a soft kiss to your lips. You knew he could tell something was bothering you, but you also knew that he could tell you were desperately trying to hide it, he knew how to react when you were like this, he would wait and ask you later, give you a chance to process your own emotions first. “I missed you.” You whispered once he pulled away, you shuffled out of his grip, “I’m going to shower.” You added, disappearing into the bathroom, unknowingly giving him an idea of what could be bothering you, because you shut and locked the door, something neither of you have done for as long as you could remember. He stared at the door for a minute, a small frown on his face as his mind wandered with all the possibilities, you hadn’t seemed upset with him, so he was almost certain he hadn’t unknowingly done something. So that left his other option, someone had said something, he knew people were cruel, and he knew it was part of his life being in the spotlight, but he hated that he had drug you down in it with him. But all he wanted to do was show off the amazing girl that he was so lucky to call his, and the fact that he couldn’t do that without being respected, that really bothered him, because you deserved to be bragged about, you deserved to be filling more of his social media than you were. It was rare that he posted things with you, simply because he knew how it could bother you, but his heart swelled with so much pride when he got the picture of you and his nephew, it only reminded him how much he wanted that with your own kids one day.

He hadn’t realized how long he was standing there thinking about it until he heard the water shut off, and he scrambled to get out of there, not wanting you to know he’d been standing there the whole time. He rushed out of the room, doing his best to stay quiet as you unlocked the bathroom door. You stepped out, towel wrapped tightly around your body, you did a quick once over, looking for him before you stepped out, you went and grabbed some clean lounge clothes, not planning on leaving the house today, but you made sure the ones you grabbed fit you properly. Once you were satisfied enough with your appearance, you trudged down the stairs, coolie rushing over to jump at you while milo slept in his bed. You laughed stopping to pet him, when you looked up you spotted Brock rummaging around in the kitchen, he undoubtedly had to be hungry, just coming back from playing golf with some friends. You were hungry, waiting for him to come home to eat, but now you cringed a little at the thought, not in the way where you wanted to not eat, but your stomach was still in knots from reading those comments. “Hi, baby.” You spoke up, walking past him, opening the fridge and pulling out a water. “Hi.” Brock responded, looking over at you with a grin, you couldn’t help but smile back, his smile was so contagious. “Why are you so smiley?” You teased softly, stepping over towards his outstretched arms, he all but yanked you into him, your chin resting on his chest so you could look up at him. “Mhm, ‘cause I get to spend the rest of the day at home with my girl.” He mumbled, lips ghosting over your forehead, you let your eyes flutter shut for a moment. But it didn’t last long when his finger tips dipped underneath your shirt, his fingers running over your skin soothingly, “don’t do that.” He whispered when you tried to shimmy away from him. “What?” You gasped, feeling like you’d been caught red handed.

“The picture I posted, I know people are just so fucking rude, but you can’t listen to them baby, because none of what they say is true.” He spoke sternly, but softly, one hand staying on your waist, the other coming up to cup your cheek. “But it is true, the way my stomach rolls in on the side, and how chubby my face is, and my thighs rub together and-“ “stop it, you’re beautiful, inside and out.” He cut you off, his brows knit together slightly. “Baby girl, I love you, and everything you just said that you didn’t like.” He continued, watching as your breathing hitched momentarily, “I love it when you know I’m having a bad day and you make me lay my head in your lap, or when we’re going on long drives and I just grab your leg and rub it while you go to sleep. I love squeezing your beautiful face to make you give me a kiss when you’re being goofy,” he paused to do just that, a hand on either side of your face, squeezing together and making your lips fall into a soft pout that he kissed. “And I love grabbing you just like this,” his hands went back to your sides, gripping you snuggly, “so I can hold you close and not let you go.” He concluded, “no, you’re not supposed to cry, baby.” He pouted softly when you looked at him with big watery eyes. “I love you.” You whispered hiding your face in his neck, “I love you too, so much.” He laughed softly, feeling your tears fall on his skin. “Please don’t cry anymore.” He nudged your head with his own, “they’re happy tears.” You sniffled, pulling back to look at him. “How’d I get so lucky?” You wondered aloud, “I should be asking the same thing.”

taglist: @jmaybanks​ @softstarkey​ @literarycharleton​ @mtkachuk​ @wtfkie​

My Content & Boundaries

[No need to be alarmed! Nothing has happened to prompt this, I just figured it was about time that I pin a post like this.]

Welcome to my kink blog! This post is here to introduce myself, disclose what type of content that I may reblog or post here (including trigger warnings) and state my boundaries concerning who I want and don’t want interacting with me or my blog.

Intro:

Hi! I’m pudgecuddles! I’ve been here in the community as a lurker since 2018, and finally got around to making this sideblog about 2 years ago under the handle “prettypudgy”. I changed my username slightly after some twitter douchecanoes took screenshots of my content and made threads mocking it.

I am 24 years old and identify as female. Please use she/her pronouns when referring to me. I won’t be mad at all though if you use they/them or he/him, but I’ll probably just gently let you know what I prefer  :)

I am aromantic/asexual, meaning that I do not experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or expression. I still experience aesthetic attraction, and of course enjoy the concept of weight gain as a kink.

Although I am participating in them, I am not looking for RP partners at the moment!

My Content and the Content I Reblog:

Although I do like fluffy and mild WG content (ya’ll who make that type of content are amazing and beautiful and deserve all the love and reblogs in the world), I do enjoy darker and less popular tropes/kinks as well. Up until recently the majority of the stuff I’ve reblogged has been cute and moderate, but I have been working on my own stories and RPs which happen to be on the more intense/darker side.

My content going forward may include topics such as:

Extreme Weight Gain Immobility Mind Break Pet/Pig Play BDSM Humiliation Manipulation Feminization Dub-Con Watersports Eproctophilia Slob Abusive Relationships (it’s not something I enjoy writing, but I may reblog it)

I will always tag specific topics and tropes that may not be for everyone such as immobility or fart kink stuff. And definitely triggering content such as dub-con or degradation. For example, I will tag it as “Immobility”, “cw Immobility” and “tw Immobility”, in case someone has only one tag blacklisted.

Please keep yourself safe! This community is supposed to be a comfortable, creative area where users can curate a homepage of content that matches thier tastes and respects their boundaries. I will not be offended at all if you decide to block me or my written/rendered content. All I ask is if you’re already an acquaintance or mutual of mine that you let me know before you do  :)  You don’t even need to tell me why, I just don’t want to wonder if I made you mad or were ignoring me on purpose.

Zero hard feelings, seriously! The block button is there to protect you!

Boundaries:

Please do not hit on me, or unexpectedly discus sexual topics without me knowing your age and instigating it. It is different if I already know you and am comfortable speaking with you like that.

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow that drawing is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Thank you so much! ^_^  What do you think about the shape of his hands?

Minors: If you do not have your age, (or at least an 18+ only, or “I am an adult!”) in your bio, I will either ask you for your age or choose not to interact directly with you. This is not a punishment or a personal vendetta. I just do not feel comfortable interacting directly with minors when it comes to NSFW kink content. I am okay with reblogging your content, as supporting those in the community that are still young and exploring their identities in a safe and distant way is very important to me. I am so happy for you that you have found a welcoming and protective space to safely explore your sexuality and discuss your favorite groups. It’s what I wish I had when I was younger.

But I ask that you don’t attempt to private message me or participate in conversations that are sexual in nature.

Bigotry: Do not interact with me, my blog or my content if you do not support all LGBTQ+ identities. This includes but is not limited to: Transgender folk, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Polysexuals, Omnisexuals, Asexuals, Aromantics and Non-Binary/Agender peeps. TERFs, exclusionists and Battleaxe Bisexuals are not welcome and will be insta-blocked. Same with those that participate in “discourse” on these topics.

If you do not believe that Black Lives Matter or support Donald Trump or any conservative party, politician or policy, please unfollow and block me. They have killed thousands of people and actively lobby against minorities.

This is the only time that I will be political on this blog. I am infinitely more outspoken/advocating on my main, but this sideblog is supposed to be a stress-free, kinky escape from the horrors of reality. I go on my main to reblog petitions, I go on here to reblog erotica.

This does not mean that I do not care, or that I am not an ally or that I enable racists or transphobes. It just means that I recognize that sometimes people get burnt out from constantly being reminded of the policies that harm them, or acts of violence against their race. I want this blog to be an escape, for both myself and my followers.

Hate/Trolling: Hateful or negative comments on me or my friend’s content will get your account blocked. This ranges from “ew” to telling them to kill themselves. This behavior is not tolerable anywhere, and the more extreme comments will be reported to Tumblr staff. Comments saying our content is disgusting will automatically tell me you think it’s hot and are in denial. How very sad. I will dedicate my grossest story to you specifically.

Inter-Community Drama: Mob behavior, brigading, witch hunting, call out posts (vague or by name), vitriolic hate and bullying of any type is something that makes me extremely uncomfortable due to having experienced cyberbullying in the past. Making people deactivate, continuing to attack them after apologies and other related behavior will get you blocked no matter the quality of your content, your standing in the community or our relationship history.

I cannot deal with seeing that behavior and it scares me continuing to interact with those that I learn can so easily turn on their friends like that.

That’s All Folks!

Powdered Sugar

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Boston didn’t come without repercussions. 

Warnings:  A bit angsty, but Bucky is all love sick if that helps. 

A/N:   It’s a shorter chapter but it’s still important and it sets up where our slightly dumb couple is headed. I tried to grab everyone who asked for a tag recently if I missed you please let me know and I’ll add you. This is the fourth part of my series Sugary Sweet. Make sure you catch up! 

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!***

It felt good to be home. Every time Bucky’s left New York and came back, it made him realize how much this city really was home. Now you were part of that. You were home. It had been five days since you left Bucky to fend for himself in Boston. On the morning of your flight, he got up before the sun was and drove you to the airport. He kissed you for fifteen minutes in front of the airport security check-in and nearly made you late for your flight; he couldn't help it. He hated being away from you, and knowing it would be days before he could hold you again, he might have gone a little overboard — Bucky wanted to make sure you wouldn’t forget about him before he made it back to Brooklyn and to you. 

Steve handed over three folded bills to the cashier behind the counter and took two paper cups of coffee, passing one to Bucky. It was their first day back in the office since closing the deal with Carol, and Bucky was having trouble focusing on his job for the first time in his life. He desperately wanted to ditch work and spend the rest of the day in bed with you, but he had a company to run, and he had to be a grown-up. 

As Steve reminded him, all damn day. 

“So, what’s going on with you and Y/n? You both were... different in Boston.” 

“I don’t know Stevie. That last night…” Bucky shook his head and stared at the white plastic lid over his coffee, he couldn’t explain it — there were no words to describe how he felt about you and what happened this past week only made things more confusing. 

“It was different. She said I was her stupid, and things were just different from how they usually are. The way we were with each other... I dunno, man.” 

Steve was quiet for a long beat before he looked at Bucky with a small grimace he asked, “You’re excited because she called you stupid? I call you stupid all the time.” 

“No, it wasn’t like that—” 

“Sam constantly calls you dumb. All the time. I have to separate you two—”  

“Steve!’ Bucky groaned and shoved Steve away from him. He was not in the mood. He was already grumpy because he wouldn't get to see you until the Stark Gala, and now Steve was pissing him off with the dumb questions. 

“She said my stupid. It’s the ‘my’ part I was talkin’ about, dumbass. She called me hers, and it wasn’t the first time, either.” 

“What else did she say?” Steve urged with a wide grin. 

Bucky felt his cheeks pink, and his ears were burning. He cleared his throat and grumbled through a forced cough. “Uh, she called me her… fella.” 

Steve chuckled and bumped Bucky’s shoulder with his. If Sam were there, he probably would have teased him over the pet name, but Steve didn’t. He liked seeing Bucky this happy, and Steve knew it was all thanks to you. He wasn’t about to cheapen Bucky’s feelings by teasing him over a silly name.

“You’re in deep, aren’t you?” Steve asked, already knowing the answer, and Bucky grinned and told him honestly, “Yeah, I think I am, Stevie.” 

Bucky fished his phone out of his pocket, with all this talk, and he realized he hadn’t heard from you yet today. This was a sign. Boston was the push he needed. He needed to stop this nonsense, and tell you what he wanted, tell you where he wanted your relationship to go. He was going to tell you what’s on his heart at the Stark Gala — he was done playing around. You had to know he was all in, but if you wanted to keep things the way they were, he could be okay with that. He will stick around for as long as you’ll have him because he was already in love with you. 

It was going to hurt when you leave him no matter what, you should at least know how he felt when you do walk away. 

You arrived home nearly six days ago, and from the moment you stepped through the door, you refused to talk about the trip or Bucky. There wasn’t a moment of that trip you wanted to relive — even the good parts, it would only make the bad parts more painful. Pretending as if the terrible, awful, wonderful week never happened was the only way you could clean up the mess you made of your heart.

Of course, it would be easier to forget if your roommate minded her own business, and she wouldn’t let it go. 

Every time Natasha asked you a question about Boston or Bucky, you evaded. You would change the subject back to her or offer to buy dinner, and Clint would change the topic for you — the pizza or Chinese debate always bought you an hour. Natasha would only put up with that for so long, though. There was no way you could keep that up forever, and you knew that, but you couldn’t get the words out even if you wanted to. 

It hurt. You needed distance between you and the damage that was done — if you were going to find a way to repair it. 

This morning, you sat at the counter spoon hanging loosely from your hand, spinning your cereal as you stared at your phone in your other hand. You had been like this since you opened Instagram, sitting and gawking at your phone. You couldn’t eat. All you could do was stare. Not after you saw what Sam posted. Most of his additions were of the boys and usually picking on Bucky, but the latest picture was what caught your attention. It looked like it was their last night in Boston, and Carol was smushed between the men. 

Against your better judgment, your thumb took on a life of its own and clicked her profile. Carol had reposted Sam’s original image, but there was another photo that made a green monster stir in your chest. The look of their attire said it was towards the end of the night, jackets had been shed, and hair was let down— it was only her and Bucky this time.

Bucky had been caught mid-laugh, glowing smirk and little eye crinkles in captured in Mayfair or whatever the hell filter she deemed was best to highlight your boyfriend— Bucky. He was not your boyfriend. Carol's arm was linked in Bucky's, and she was gazing at him adoringly, but it was the caption that had your hackles raised. 

Can you believe no one has snatched this man up?  He’s more than just a pretty face, let me tell you. Sweet like you wouldn’t believe and knows how to negotiate. Can’t wait to start working with this stud. 

“Why don’t you snatch him up?” 

You jumped at the sound of Natasha’s voice coming from over your shoulder and dropped your phone to the counter, narrowly missing your bowl of milk. You hated it when she did that. 

“Seriously?” You whined loudly. “I told you not sneak up on me!” 

“Sorry. I said your name three times, but you were busy staring at your phone like it was going to turn into something. So, did you snatch him up?” 

You shook your head, letting her know you didn’t want to talk about it, but you had to say something. It had been days since it all went down, and she would find out eventually. It was better she found out now before Bucky tired of you and found someone else. You slid off the stool to drop your bowl in the sink. Your cheerios were soggy anyway. 

“No, I didn’t, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Y/n, what happened--”

“He doesn’t want to be snatched up, okay? Least of all by me.”

Natasha watched you dump your breakfast in the trash and pour your glass of orange juice down the sink. You avoided her eyes, but she could still see the hurt filling them, as you explained everything that happened in Boston and everything you heard that night. None of it made any sense. Bucky told her how he felt, the whole truth, and no one lies to Natasha. 

“Y/n, I know that’s not true.” Natasha pointed to where you were standing and told you what happened that morning he invited you to Boston. “He stood right there, looked me in the eye, and said you meant something to him. He said he was going to tell you in Boston how much you meant to him and that he wanted more than this game you two are playing." 

"Well, he lied!” You shouted, falling back against the counter from the blowback of the admission. “Of course, he lied. You’re my best friend. You probably would have killed him and hid the body before I got out of the shower. He’s not going to tell you the truth because he knew you would tell me.”

“And why do you think he told them the truth?”

“Steve is his best friend and his business partner. They all served together, Steve, Sam, and Bucky. They are brothers, and he’s known Sharon for over a decade before she ever married Steve. There is no way he lied to them, and even if he did lie to them, it doesn’t make him any better. It only means he’s embarrassed to with me, so he lied to the people closest to him.” 

Natasha wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. He lied to someone, and no matter who caught the lie and who heard the truth, none of it was good.

“You need to talk to him. Tell him what you heard and let him explain himself. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding. If it turns out he is a total dick, you can use the moves I taught you freshmen year and give him a broken arm as a parting gift.”

A single kiss dropped to your cheek, and she left you alone to find your way through the tangled web of dark thoughts spinning around your head. Natasha was right — like always. You needed to talk to him about the trip, but first… You grabbed your phone from where it fell on the counter and pulled up your messages. Your stupid fingers were at it again. A quick screenshot of Carol’s post, you dropped into the textbox and typed furiously before your brain could gain control over your fingers. 

You: Looks like you had fun. Did you finally get snatched up? 

That sounded awful and jealous and childish. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to be with you, your phone mocks. 

You watched three bubbles pop up right away as if he was already sending you something or at the very least, had his phone in his hand, and guilt swam up your throat, choking you. He was probably working, and you were sending him childish messages fueled by jealousy.  

Fella❤: I had more fun when you were with me. I got snatched up months ago. Sorry to say.  A sweet girl stole me away. Made me her fella, didn't you hear? 

You hated how he could say things that meant so much to you and mean so little to him, and you really hated how much you didn’t hate it at all. 

You: Did she? Really? 

Fella ❤: Really and truly. She did. I was hoping she would be my date to the Stark Modern Art Charity Gala this weekend. I was about to ask her when I got your message. I haven't seen her in days, and I'm itchin' to have her on my arm again. 

Of course, on his arm for show and nothing more. 

You: That can be arranged. I don't have a dress, though. I don’t want to embarrass you.

Fella ❤: You could wear a garbage bag and be beautiful, and you could never embarrass me. BUT if you insist on getting dressed up. I think I have something in mind. I'll send it over. 

Fella ❤: What has you thinking I could ever be embarrassed by you? 

You ignored the question and hoped your answer would keep him distracted so you could have that conversation in person.

You: Okay, I’ll be your girl for the night. 

Fella ❤: I hope after the gala it will be more than just one night, sweet girl. 

Ordinarily, Bucky’s flirting and little sexual innuendos would make your toes curl, and those stupid butterflies in your stomach flutter — maybe even laugh if it was silly enough, but it didn’t. It left you feeling empty and… wanting. Which only made your choice easier. Of course, you were going to go wherever he wanted you to go because truthfully, five days was far too long without him. You missed him. You missed so much your chest ached, and the only thing that could ease the hurt was seeing him. 

If being Bucky’s sugar baby was the only way you could have him, then you were going to take what he could give until he was done with you because you were not ready to lose him just yet.

The Corpse Bride - A Sapphic Rewriting (2/2)

I cannot believe this is the only decent screenshot where both the ladies are present!

Anyway, here is the second and last part of my sapphic rewriting of Tim Burton’s The Corpse Bride: it turned out a bit longer than I first thought but I hope you enjoy it!

If you do, please consider reblogging and/or spreading the word: it’s so hard being a writer on tumblr... 🙏

I also remind you the amazing fanart by @may12324​ (here & here) and the AO3 Sapphic Emily/Victoria fanfics.

Tagging @gay-fandom-menace​ for the last update!

________________________

As days passed, Emily went above and beyond to show her spouse the hidden beauty of the Land of the Dead and she eventually succeeded. Victoria looked less frightened of the residents living in the shadows and even accepted to attend the welcome party in her honour, where she apologised to the general for stealing his saber. It was almost as if she...forgot where she was or no longer cared about the oddity of the place, Emily noticed, looking her laughing at one of Bonejangles' mots d'esprit. She also realised that she enjoyed the time spent with her more than she could have foreseen. Victoria was always shy and almost regal in her poise but there were moments when Emily would say something funny and she would laugh, a hearty gracious laughter, covering her mouth with a hand. Or when she sighted contently petting a purring Miles. One day, returning from a walk up the hill, they found the pub deserted and decided to head inside. Emily produced herself in her best bartender impression that made her spouse giggle, and ventured behind the counter to fix herself a drink while her companion took a seat on a stool. "How many days have passed since I came here? It's so hard to have a perception of time down here..."

Emily turned, taking a sip of red wine. Victoria looked suddenly lost in her own thoughts. "I don't know, sweetheart...a week maybe? Why?" "Oh nothing" Victoria laughed weakly, shaking her head. "I was just wondering where Victor is now. If he's alright" "Who's Victor? Your brother?" the corpse bride asked, excited at the idea of learning more about her family. "Oh no! He's my fiancé...even if it sounds a bit weird calling him so, after meeting him the other day for the first time. I was looking for him in the woods when I stumbled into you" An unknown feeling spread a sudden cold inside Emily. She didn't know why but she felt suddenly less cheerful after that revelation. She heard herself asking Victoria to tell her more about him and that's how she learnt he was from a fish merchants family, the Van Dort - or the nouveaux riches as the Everglot called them with evident displeasure for their non-aristocratic roots-; his dark eyes and shy manners, his endearing clumsiness. He was also a formidable pianist, she added. "I can play the piano too! What music do you like?" Emily exclaimed, without thinking and taking Victoria's hands in hers. She guided her towards the instrument on the opposite side of the room and they both take a seat on the old dusty bench. Victoria giggled and threw her a curious look. "Something dreamy and nostalgic?" Emily asked, starting to play a solemn tune that caught her spouse's attention. Then, after a while and with a sudden yet gracious key change, she added, flashing a conspiratorial smile. "...or maybe something a bit more lively and cheerful?" When she started singing a popular ballad, Victoria gaped in surprise. Now she truly understood why her undead bride's fame was renewed for miles when she was alive: not only her features still bore traces of a rare beauty that surely won the hearts of hundreds suitors but also she had the voice of an angel. Her fingertips ran over the keyboard with confidence while her voice enchanted her with its supreme harmony. An angel of music, Victoria thought, contemplating her. Out of the blue, just before the grand finale, Emily's skeleton hand parted from the rest of her body and performed a joyous trill on the keyboard before running up Victoria's arm and shoulder. She was used to it going its own way from time to time but it kind of embarrassed her that it happened in front of her spouse. She giggled nervously. "Pardon my enthusiasm" To her great surprise, the Everglot girl wasn't horrified by what happened. She gave the hand an amused look and took her in her own. Then, she turned towards Emily and helped her placing it back at the end of her arm. The bride was about to mutter a thank you when she spoke. "I like your enthusiasm" When Emily met her gaze there was a new shade of red on the girl's cheeks and a bashful smile on her lips. The cold feeling that troubled her immediately vanished, replaced by a warmth that she hadn't felt since joining the Land of the Dead. Maybe in her whole life. Too soon Victoria diverted her dark eyes. "Why don't we play a duet?" Emily suggested. If possible, Miss Everglot blushed even more. "I don't play the piano" "Oh" Emily was genuinely surprised. "I'm sorry, I just thought-" "No, it's fine! It's just..." Victoria took a deep sigh. "Mother says music is improper for a young lady. Too passionate...so she never let me lay a finger on our piano" "Am I being...improper? My most sincere apologies, your ladyship" Victoria turned to see Emily offering a teasing smile. The grim mood caused by the mention of Mother instantly melted away and she found herself laughing. "Oh no, you played splendidly! It was truly lovely, Emily" Victoria said, serious again. "It's just Mother, she...well, I suppose you can say she never approves of anything" Emily nodded understandingly. A shadow crossed her face. "Do you think she would have approved of me? The two girls shared a long grim look, leaving the answer they both knew in their heart lingering in the air, unspoken. "You're lucky you'll never have to meet her" Victoria sighed, losing herself in her own thoughts and memories again. "The day I...found you and disappeared she came finding me before the rehearsals of the wedding. She only wanted to check if my corset was laced properly. And she made fun of my being a little nervous. She told me that it was nonsense because marriage is just a partnership, a little tit-for-tat" After a moment, she continued. "Since I was a child I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it?" The smile on her lips was so pained that Emily felt the irresistible urge to place a hand over hers. The sudden gesture surprised Victoria who blinked her bid dark eyes. "I am just the same" the bride whispered, softly. "And I can teach you how to play the piano, if you like? So that we can play duets, what do you say?" Victoria considered for a moment then the doleful look in her eyes left room to a tiny little sparkle and she nodded enthusiastically, like a little girl. Content, Emily scooted closer so that shoulders brushed against each other and gently placed her hands over hers. Now she felt it too, the sparkle that brightened Victoria's face. "Loosen up yours shoulder and press whatever button you like. That's it! Now another, and that black one too...see how they combine together?" The impromptu lesson kept going until someone cleared his throat. Emily turned to see an ancient skeleton standing on the threshold soon followed by Miles. "Elder Gutknecht, what a lovely surprise! And welcome back, Miles: enjoyed your galavanting?" She stood and guided Victoria towards the newcomer. "Dear Elder, have you met my wife?" the bride asked with cheerful pride. "This is Victoria of the Land of the Living. Victoria, this is Elder Gutknecht, the most ancient spirit in our midst and resident Sage: ask him anything, he knows it!" Victoria gave the skeleton a gracious curtsy. "Enchanted, Elder Gutknecht" "Ah, so this is the lucky one, huh, Emily?" the old Sage inquired, jostling a heavy-looking tome in his arms. "Delighted to make your acquaintance Miss-" "Victoria, Victoria Everglot" "Miss Victoria Everglot!" he flashed an unreadable smile before addressing the corpse bride. "I was wondering if I could have a word with you, Emily" "Sure, speak away" "In private, actually...if you don't mind" Emily looked a bit surprised but obliged. She placed one hand on her spouse's shoulder before taking her leave. "Keep familiarising yourself with the instrument, my darling. I'll be back before you know it. And Miles, be a good boy: do not jump on the keyboard!" That being said, after one last quick smile to both, she followed the Elder down in the cellar. She couldn't possibly understand what he wanted to discuss with her but she knew you never question a Sage. So she stood there, patiently waiting for he to talk. When they were alone, she perceived a sense of unease in the air. When he finally resolved himself to speak, Elder Gutknecht's face looked troubled. "I am afraid I am a messenger of grim news, my dear girl" "What grim news? I don't understand, Elder" Emily exclaimed, lost and a little anxious. The old skeleton took a deep sigh and continued. It seemed as if words costed him a great effort. "According to the vows you shared, your union is valid..." he briefly consulted the ancient tome in his hands. "'until death do you apart', isn't it?" "Yes, so what, Elder?" He closed the book and gave her a sad look. "Death has already parted you, dear Emily" It took a moment to the bride to process the meaning of his words: her mind resisted, refused to acknowledge it. She heard the words he said after while her heart ached in her chest: she was dead, Miss Everglot was living. The only way to make this marriage valid was asking Victoria to drink the "Wine of Ages", a poisoned goblet, so that she could join her in death. "No...no...there must be other ways!" Emily exclaimed, begged, walking frantically up and down. When the Elder grimly confirmed that no, sadly there was no other way, she stopped and gave him a long heartbroken look. "I could never ask her that...to give up her life for me. I...would never ask her that" she whispered, her voice cracking. Tears welled her eyes as she felt like she had lost Victoria for good. She turned and gave the Elder her shoulders, covering her face in a desperate attempt to protect her sorrow from his eyes. She had lost her love once again. "I'm sorry, may I interrupt?" She immediately followed the voice: Victoria was standing on the threshold, politely clearing her throat. She threw quick glances at both of them as a gaping Elder gestured to join them. "I'm sorry, I was just passing by and I overheard your conversation..." Emily felt another pang of sadness making her bones ache: what must Victoria think of her now? She must feel so betrayed and outraged... "Victoria, I am so incredibly sorry, please believe me I didn't know anything about this" she said, rushing to her side and placing a trembling hand on her cheek. She felt her knees getting far too weak when the Everglot girl looked at her with her big dark eyes. "But just know that I...I release you from those vows, I would never ask you-" To her surprise, she interrupted her. "I do believe you, Emily" she smiled weakly, taking her skeletal hand into hers. "And I appreciate what you said to the Elder here" The bride gave her a painful smile, caressing her cheek. "It's the least I could do after causing all this trouble, darl-" "But I'll do it" Emily froze. "What?" "I'll do it" Victoria repeated. "I'll drink the Wine of Ages and join you in death. I only have one last favour to ask" Her eyes wandered between the Elder and her spouse. "Can I go back...Upstairs before the wedding and the ritual?" The permission was given and she and Emily went back to the woods where they first met. It wasn't night yet but the moon already shone bright in the sky. Emily was mesmerised: she took a few steps and contemplate the big almost full moon for a while. "I've spent so long in the darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is." she said at last, turning towards Victoria. She outstretched her arms and when the girl took her hands into hers, she guided her into a gracious slow dance around the woods. The Everglot girl had never seen someone dancing like her: it came so easy to her, as if every step, every move, every spin wasn't just sheer perfection but a second skin to her. She laughed softly when the bride ended the dance with a curtesy, rising her hand to her lips. "One day you'll have me to share some of your dancing teaching with me" "Anytime, sweetheart" "I'll go say my goodbyes now if you-" "Mais biensure, go ahead! I will wait for you here, in this gorgeous moonlight" Victoria flashed her a quick smile and was about to take her leave when Emily gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Victoria, just know that if you ever change your mind about the ritual, I...you can always say no, and I will never judge you or...seek vengeance because of that, you understand?" Victoria nodded, her slightly childish way of nodding. "I'll be back before you know it!" And she disappeared into the woods, headed towards the city. Emily's eyes followed her until she lost sight of her and sat on a fallen tree trunk, sighing contently. But there was no quiet time for her: her right eye started itching until it popped out into her lap to reveal...petty Waggot. "I've heard this already!" the creature muttered angrily. "And i know a lie when I hear it!" Emily rolled her left eye and retrieved the other. "Hello to you too, Waggot! I suggest you to calm down and relax: as much as I appreciate your concern, she will be back" "But of course" he signed, sardonic. "Oh hush you! If you have nothing nice to say, keep quiet and let me enjoy the moonlight for once" Waggot certainly knew how to be exasperating and he was certainly wrong, Emily thought. So she waited and waited until the unpleasant feeling of a deja bu started tormenting her from a corner of her mind. What if petty Waggot was right this time? Troubled and with a growing concern gnawing her, she headed towards the edge of the forest, looking for Victoria. She didn't have to search for long but the scene she found made her hide behind a tree. The girl was standing not far away, on the bridge by the river, but...she wasn't alone. She was hugging a boy around her age with dark hair and eyes that Emily immediately recognised as Victor. When the two parted and kept chatting, the bride rested her back against a tree to avoid getting caught. Emily didn't know what to think, what to make of it. The sudden violent pang of jealousy was soon replaced by a sense of emptiness and pain. What a fool she had been to think someone like Victoria could reciprocate her feelings for her...'Little Miss Living' as Waggot called her. How could she compared to Victor who was still breathing and had a beating heart in his chest just like Victoria? If she touched a burning candle, she would feel no pain, just like if you would cut her with a knife. She wouldn't burn nor bleed like them. Yet, even if her heart wasn't pumping blood in her veins, she could distinctly feel it aching and breaking at the sight of that embrace. With an excruciating urge of crying, she took another look from her hiding spot. This time she made out some words of their conversation. "Do you remember everything?" her spouse was saying. "Find Hildegarde, she knows what to do and-" "And meet you at the church, got it" "Excellent! And Victor..." she took his hand into hers. "You have no idea how important this is for me" "But are you sure? I mean, if you-" "I am, Victor. As I've never been before" Then, she looked over her shoulder and spotted Emily in the woods. Emily wanted to hide but the girl smiled and waved at her. To her surprise even the boy did so, looking terrified, his hand shaking. "I must go now but we have a deal, right? See you, Victor!" With one last hug to an astonished Victor, the Everglot girl joined Emily again and wrapped her arm around hers and walked back to the centre of the woods. She couldn't help but notice that the corpse bride was awfully quiet all the way down. The wedding was set for the following night. The announcement spread a contagious wave of excitement among the residents of the Land of the Dead: everyone wanted to contribute to the brides' special day. It had been long since they last attended a joyful event. So Bonejangles, self-elected best man for the ceremony, took the stage to rehearse his speech, the maitre head gave instructions to the imperturbable bartender while tailors ran up and downs the streets offering to fix the brides' dresses and bakers argued over how to bake the most decadent wedding cake. When time came, an overjoyed crowd marched towards the church, Elder Gutknecht walking upfront with the brides in tow. Needless to say, it was enough to make the old arrogant pastor ran away in his nightgown. Once inside, they took their seat, chatting excitedly. Emily threw Victoria a smile and noticed that her spouse looked nervous now, constantly checking over her shoulders. Her hear ached again. Everyone only went quiet when the Elder asked for silence. "Dearly beloved... and departed..." he started, rather proud of his role of officiant when the doors opened again and he rolled his eyes at the late guests. Emily turned, followed by the rest of the crowd, to see a boy and an old lady with tired, glassy eyes standing - and looking around trying and failing to suppress a shudder - at the end of the aisle. The boy was holding a pile of boxes that for a moment hid his face but no mistake: it was Victor. His eyes found the brides and he offered the best smile he could manage in the general surprise. "Sorry for the interruption, we-we are probably a bit late but we...we brought the dress" Emily, who was bracing herself for the last of another betrayal, couldn't believe her hears. She looked back at Victoria lost, confused. The girl only smiled, her jaw finally relaxing. She wasn't nervous because Victor was late to stop the ceremony and 'save her' but because...Victor was late with her dress? "I'm sorry I kept this from you, Emily...I hope you don't mind if I asked Victor and my maid to join us and bring me the wedding dress Ma ordered. They are the closest I have in this world to friends and the dress was already there so I thought..." she blushed imperceptibly, shrugging. "I thought that I'll only marry once, better do it properly, if you don't mind waiting a little longer" "Of course, dear" Emily whispered, touched, taking her hands into hers. As a lively chatting started again, Victoria headed to the adjacent room with the old lady, who pushed Victor out as soon as she grabbed the last box, eliciting a general round of laughter. Emily threw a sympathetic look to Victor, who was adjusting his tie in a desperate attempt to compose himself. He cleared his throat and asked who was the maid of honor. "Best man here, buddy!" Bonejangles waved from the first row. The Van Dort boy smiled quickly at Emily and approached him. He picked a wedding ring out of his pocket and handed it to him. He was about to leave when the skeleton grabbed his arm and pulled him into a half-hug, inviting to assist to the ceremony with all of them. Victoria's friends were their friends too, he said and the crowd murmured in approval. After what seemed like an eternity to Emily's sentimental heart, the doors of the adjacent room opened and the old woman appeared first, headed towards one the bench after an awkward curtsy. Then...she appeared, and it almost seemed to the corpse bride that her heart started beating again. It wasn't possible but the sight in front of her brought her an happiness so vivid she couldn't help but feel...alive again. The dress Mrs Everglot picked was quite simple and a bit old-fashioned, with little to no decors and high collar. It didn't enhance the beauty of her daughter but Emily thought that Victoria's grace needed no enhancement : she was a vision, walking solemnly back to the altar, a shy smile on her lips and a bouquet of violets in her hands. While the ceremony started at last and they began sharing their vows, Emily thought back at all the moments they shared together. The comforting warmth of Victoria's living body against hers when she fell asleep on her shoulders and the dimples on her cheeks when she laughed at a joke. The somber look in her eyes when she told her about her unhappy life with her family and the urgency she felt of holding her in her arms back then. Or their non-duet at the piano, their dance in the moonlight... So when time come and Victoria held and goblet of Wine of Ages and recited "Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine" She stopped her before she could bring the poison to her lips. "No" she cut her short. "But Emily..." Now Victoria was the one lost in the plot. Emily placed the goblet back on the altar and gave her a sad smile filled. "I was a girl like you once. Then life was taken from me. I love you, Victoria, and I will never do the same to you. I will never take your life. We only live once and you...deserve to live yours to the fullest" Out of the blue, the church doors slammed open again and a man the Everglot girl recognised as the mysterious man attending the rehearsals of her wedding as if he owned the whole place walked in. He looked straight at her with a charming yet vaguely menacing grin. He profused himself in a speech about how relieved he was to find her at last, she was sent to look for her by her family, devastated by her sudden disappearance. When he was close enough, he gallantly offered her a hand, asking to follow him. His courtesy didn't last long though: when Victoria, shocked by his complete disregard for the surroundings, refused, he grabbed her arm and made to pull her away. Murmurs raised from the audience and Victor raised to his feet. "Leave me! You have no right to come her and force me to follow you" Victoria protested, dropping her bouquet. "As a matter of fact, I do have, darling" he smirked, an ominous wolfish grin. "I humbly asked for your hand in marriage if I managed to find the lost girl, and guess what Mom and Dad said after that disastrous engagement? So that makes you my fiancée, dear Victoria" My fiancée...my fiancée... The world echoed in Emily's mind until a sudden memory hit her. The foggy night, the oak tree, the menacing gleam of the rapier. "Let her go now, you monster" she shouted, cold fury simmering in her bones. "Mind your business" he hissed back, pulling Victoria's arm again but Emily took hold of his own in a steely grip. "I say let her go now and get out" He met her gaze with his face distorted in anger. He didn't recognise her at first but when he did, his face tensed up in fear and horror as he back-pedalled, setting the Everglot girl free. "It can't be..." "My thoughts precisely...when you left me to die and ran away with my gold" Emily now advanced threateningly in his direction as a loud gasp resound through the curch. Fury and panic ruled his moves as he promptly unsheathed his rapier and thrusted it into the bride's ribcage only to find out that he had no luck this time. An ominous smile crossed her face as she dropped her own bouquet and exclaimed: "General? Your saber" "With great pleasure, Emily" Nobody knew whether the bride was skilled in sword fighting but the duel that followed was not for the faint of heart. Emily's stabs were raw, unrefined but her thirst for vengeance made up for it; also her previous knowledge of Lord Barkis came in handy as he wasn't to be trusted with a sword. He fought as a scoundrel now that he dropped the mask and scoundrels of his sort, with no honour nor empathy, never fight fairly. Panic and turmoil erupted among the guests. Suddenly, Victoria's voice resounded over the clashing of the swords. "Victor, run, go find the guards and expose Lord Barkis! And you, down there lock the doors!" The boy looked confused for a moment but recovered soon and sprinted away into the night while the bartender and another skeleton locked the doors behind him . Lord Barkis didn't even notice him, blocking another hit. "Expose me? And for what, milady?" he laughed, an hideous humourless laughter. "I am inclined to believe the guards will consider the accusations seriously once they find you armed on a crime scene" the Evetglot girl explained, quietly. "What crime scene? I am the one being attacked here!" "Get out, you monster, I said!" Emily roared. Then, a sudden collective gasp from the attending guests, drove the attention back to the other side of the aisle. Even the fighting stopped. Victoria was standing by the altar, steely determination in her gaze and the goblet in her right hand. Her gaze found the corpse bride again and she lifted her left hand. "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for" she continued, raising the goblet. "I will be your wine." Emily cried out an impotent "no!" as the girl drowned the poisoned goblet in one huge gulp, wincing afterwards. The corpse bride dropped the saber, and held her dress as she ran as quickly as her feet could take her to the altar. Stubbornly, Victoris grabbed a candle and raise it but her hands started shaking, just like her voice. "With this candle, I will light ...your way...in...darkness." The candlestick fell to the marble ground just as Emily rushed to held her trembling figure and prevent her to fall too. Victoria was awfully pale and abandoned herself into her arms like a dead weight, unable to sustain herself anymore. Her breathing was feeble, a pained whisper when she continued. "With this...ring, I...ask you...to be...mine." Emily desperatly called her name but her eyes lost her usual gleam and the body in her arms became too cold and still for a living. The Wine of Ages truly was deadly. Overwhelmed by the heartbreak, Emily cradled the lifeless body tenderly while tears rimmed her face. Foolish, foolish Victoria. Her despair was met by a respectful silence, to honour her loss. Or so she thought until someone cleared their throat and offered placed a hand over her shoulder. "Emily, I think this is when the officiant says 'You may now kiss the bride'" a familiar voice said. Not just a familiar voice. Her voice. Emily opened her eyes and turned her head. Victoria - or her corpse - was standing at her side, smiling encouragely. Emily stood without hesitation as if drawn to her by an irresistible force. When they faced each other, she reached for her hands. "I thought I lost you" Victoria raised cold fingertips to her cheek. "You never will, my love" When they lips touched, a light so bright emanated from their embracing bodies, swallowing them completely till they disappeared into a shower of butterflies. What follows is matter of legends and stories told by the fireplace. After the wedding, the guards stormed into the now empty church only to find the corpse of Miss Everglot in a wedding dress and Lord Barkis on the verge on insanity. He claimed he was innocent but he sounded rather hysterical. According to the local chronicles, his arrest lead to an investigation that uncovered a series of murders of local wealthy heiresses in the villages he stopped by. Sentenced guilty and not sane in his head, he ended his days in an asylum, without a penny and forgotten by the world. As for the other characters of the story... Apparently, that eventful night the curse of the corpse bride was broken as she found the true love who set her free. Victor Van Dort left the village is search of better fortune as a pianist. The dawn of his departure, a pair of butterflies, a blue and a lilac one, graciously waltzed inside his room, flying around him; he likes to think they were the brides saying adieu and wishing him a bright new life. The woods are now less ominous: kids play by the river again and nobody fears venturing there, even after dark. However, some claims that the forest is still somehow haunted. The baker's son swears that if you go by the oak tree during full moon, you would see two female spirits dancing a waltz in the moonlight. They are not spooky: on the contrary, quite a joy for the eyes. And one of them looks just like Miss Victoria Everglot.

for the prompts, can I get “I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what do do.” with luke, pretty please?? tomorrow or next week is fine

Hi Shelbi! Thanks so much for this request, hope you enjoy this lil blurb xo

(and by lil I mean 1.6k words but I got carried away as per usual. anyway, enjoy some soft Luke weekend away in a cabin-based friends to lovers!)

(This is a fem reader insert blurb)

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

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This weekend trip away to the lake with your close friend group had been in the works for months. The date had finally arrived, and all week your group chat had been buzzing with notifications from people  talking about the fun supplies they’d bought, or screenshots of the excellent weather forecast, or memes about bears (that, to be honest, made you a little nervous).

Luke had offered you a carpool spot in his car, along with Michael and Crystal, which you gladly accepted. Originally the idea of camping in tents had been floated, but you were definitely thankful when instead Crystal found an incredible cabin on Air BnB that had more than enough room for all of you, plus private lake access and heaps of nature trails and other activities nearby.

When you showed up at Luke’s, overnight bag in tow, you suddenly felt super nervous. These were all your best friends that you’d known for years, and it definitely wasn’t your first trip away together as a group, but lately things between you and Luke had been… different, somehow.

He’d always been a great friend to you, making sure you had a ride home after a night out, or buying your favourite snacks whenever he hosted an event at his house, or inviting you on walks with Petunia because he remembered you had a dog similar to her growing up and it helped with your homesickness. But lately, you found yourself thinking of him more often than not. In those moments where you’d slip into a daydream about your future, and envisaged travelling the world, or walking down the aisle, or settling down into a house with little ones of your own one day, the only person you could see by your side in those daydreams was Luke. But then reality would set in, and you’d have to remind yourself that he’d never really shown any interest in you beyond friendship, so you couldn’t get your hopes up too high.

Michael and Crystal were already there when you arrived, so you helped pack the remaining supplies into Luke’s car and got on the road as soon as you could. The lake was about a four hour drive away and you’d agreed to share the driving, so you all rotated through various seats in the car. For the final hour of the journey, sunset had passed and you were driving through darkness as you made your way through the wooded area leading towards the lake. Michael had offered to drive the final shift, and Luke sat next to him in the front passenger seat, leaving you and Crystal in the back. You’d both assured the boys that you’d keep them company, and you wouldn’t dare fall asleep, but the steady rhythm of the car quickly lulled you into sleep.

You couldn’t have been out for more than 20 minutes or so when you silently stirred and blinked furiously to try and wake yourself up more quickly. You were about to make a joke to Luke and Michael about definitely not falling asleep, when your ears picked up on them having a murmured conversation amongst themselves up the front.

“I’m so in love with her, Mike. I don’t know what to do.” Luke sounded exasperated, and you saw him run a hand through his mop of curls – a clear sign he was feeling anxious.

“Mate, I’m telling you, there is a solid 95% chance that the feeling is mutual. I see the way her face lit up when you offered her a lift to the cabin, or when you invite her on walks with Petunia, or when you have her favourite snacks at your house parties. I would bet a solid amount that she’s in the exact same boat as you.” Michael was trying to be patient and kind, but you could tell from his tone that he was a little amused by Luke’s predicament.

You froze when you realised they were talking about you. No. Surely not? Luke… Luke didn’t have feelings for you, did he? He couldn’t be IN LOVE with you? Plain, boring old you? Was this a dream? It has to be a dream. You pinched yourself, hard, and let out a small gasp at the pain before you could realise what you’d done. Luke’s head whipped around to the back seat, and you made eye contact.

“H-hey, sweetheart. How long have you been awake?” He asked, his tone wobbly and unsure.

“Oh, literally just woke up a second ago. Must’ve moved around in my sleep and bumped my elbow too hard, that’s why I gasped. Sorry if I gave you a fright!” You were desperately trying to sound as normal as possible.

Luke’s face visibly relaxed, and you knew you’d sold the lie well enough. Your heart was still pounding over what he said, but in this car right now was not the time to address it. You could see Michael eyeing you curiously in the rear-view mirror, almost like he didn’t believe a word of your elbow bump story, but you just flashed him a smile and focused your gaze out the window, even though you could barely see a thing in the darkness of night.

When you arrived at the cabin, the others in the group had beaten you there, and already started claiming bedrooms and stocking the kitchen, and they’d even used the outdoor grill for dinner which gave the area a delicious aroma. Stepping out of the car, you gave your arms a nice big stretch and took a deep breath in and out. You’d lived in a more rural area growing up, and being near the trees and the water really made you feel more at home.

Before you could protest, Luke was carrying your bag inside as well as his own, and you scurried along to claim a bedroom before they were all gone. You settled for a small bedroom that was more like a nook just off the kitchen, but it had a nice big window that you thought would give wonderful sunrise views of the lake when you woke up the next day, so its size and the single bed didn’t bother you.

After a welcome night cap and a brief discussion of plans for tomorrow (Calum offered to cook breakfast, Ashton was coordinating yoga down on the lake’s shore, Crystal and Sierra had mapped out some easy hikes, and Michael and Luke had organised boat hire and tubing), you all adjourned to your own rooms for some sleep. You’d been tossing and turning for what felt like hours, replaying Luke’s words that you overhead in the car in your head, when you heard someone step into the kitchen and open the fridge. You’d left your bedroom door slightly ajar because it was kind of warm in the cabin, so you were able to crawl up the bed and squint out into the kitchen to see who was on the hunt for a midnight snack. Even without your glasses on, you could tell the blurry, broad-shouldered, white-singlet clad kitchen intruder was Luke from a mile away.

You didn’t want to startle him, but you weren’t sure how many other chances you’d get this weekend to talk to him entirely alone. You pulled a sweater over your head, located your glasses and slowly shuffled over to the doorway.

“Hey, kitchen intruder. What’s on for midnight snack?” Your voice was soft, but Luke still jumped a mile and clutched at his chest, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you. To be fair, hearing the fridge open metres away from me unexpectedly was a bit of a heart stopper too, pal.” You teased, crossing across the kitchen to lean up against the counter next to where Luke was making a nutella sandwich.

“I guess that makes us even then, sweetheart.” Luke shot you a wink, and you felt your heart leap in your chest.

“Gonna make one for me too, or what?” You said, making grabby hands at Luke’s sandwich.

“Well considering you asked SO nicely…” Luke stuck his tongue out at you, but pulled out more slices of bread onto the cutting board and started making you a sandwich anyway.

You paused for a moment, and took Luke in. Even in the middle of the night, after a long and tiring drive, he still looked so damn good. And he was making you a chocolate-y snack. What a dream. A dream, that if you just took a little leap of faith, could maybe be part of your reality.

“Hey, Luke?” You half-whispered, almost not wanting him to hear you. His head perked up immediately, sparkling blue eyes meeting yours with a curious look.

“Yeah?” He half-whispered back.

“I know what you should do.” You spoke louder and more purposefully this time, the adrenaline taking over as you angled your body towards Luke’s.

“About what?” Luke countered, not moving an inch as you got a little closer.

“About the girl you’re in love with.”

Luke froze, dropping the butter knife covered in nutella onto the kitchen counter with a loud clang. He swallowed audibly, before fixing you with a look that you couldn’t quite read.

“Oh yeah? What should I do, do you reckon?” The mystery stare was gone, and the familiar mischievous glint you loved to see in Luke’s eyes replaced it, as he moved in and closed the gap between you, bringing you chest to chest.

“I think you should tell her. Mike gives good advice, there’s a pretty good chance she feels the same.” You could feel yourself smiling uncontrollably, as you glanced up and realised how close Luke’s face was to yours.

“I guess I’ll take my chances, then.”

Before you could respond, Luke cupped your face with both hands and kissed you, hard. You felt like your skin was on fire, and your heart was about to burst out of your chest, but kissing Luke also felt like coming home and finding everything you’d ever hoped and waited for.

The nutella sandwiches could wait. You had some making up for lost time to do first.

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hi how are u : )

quick writing q, how did you come up with original characters? are they star wars characters or just like general?

i feel like i have ideas but like. struggle to make them into people. if that makes sense.

hiya!!! i’m good, hope you’re doing well!!! (and thank you for asking this question because,,,you should know i geeked out temporarily because someone’s asking me about original characters??? whooo boy!!!) 

also...things got lengthy (again), so i added all this under the cut!

okay, so i have like one (1) star wars original character named eiko, who i introduced in time, wondrous time. introducing eiko took a while and it was a lot of me being super anxious and kind of lowkey scared because...star wars fans tend to be a little protective, and sometimes original characters aren’t that well-liked, especially because of that fear of “mary sue”-ness and etc. 

so in the case of a star wars original character and to avoid the problems specific to and inherent to all the problems we run into with original characters in fanfic writing, i just kind of. make sure that she’s actually got some traits that! people can mostly relate to! 

so for instance, eiko’s just a very anxious kid who wants to be a good padawan, but: 

how do you be a good padawan anyways when there were already so many amazing jedi who walked the path  before you?

how do you handle those expectations? 

are you harder on yourself because of it? probably. 

do you glow when given compliments? absolutely.

and i guess when making a star wars original character, or an original character in any pre-established fandom, then you really want to make sure that if they’re connected to a canon character in some way, the canon character gets a storyline of their own. 

the canon character and the original character can rely on each other from time to time, but i think it would be kinda boring if the original character just followed around canon characters and never figured things out for themselves. 

basically: we want your original character to have some independence away from the canon characters.

how do they act when they’re alone? 

what do they do in their free time? those are things to think about when you’re trying to better grasp an original character in a pre-existing fandom.

but in terms of writing original original characters, i have this thing where like. i just take a singular personality trait that (usually) i have and dial it up to 100000. because, as one of my own friends likes to say, we contain multitudes. there are so many lives and so many different facets of you that are sometimes fighting for the spotlight--and sometimes, i like to give those different facets a little bit more of a voice in original characters. 

because really, chances are, those little bits of you that are still hiding around the corners? those traits are sometimes more exemplified in other people. so, like, if that was confusing (which i know it was), a quick example: 

i will be the first to admit that sometimes, i can be an incredibly rude person. (idk how much of a surprise that is to people. i hope it’s a bit of a surprise, because i don’t like to be rude.) 

and of course, there are tons of very, very, very rude people in real life. the reason why i’m not rude 24/7 is because there’s a part of me that dials it down a quick notch. but there are people out there who don’t have that dial, and they’re able to exist relatively freely just being the rude people they are. 

so that’s kinda where i start in making my characters feel a little more real/also a little more diverse in character! 

because as one of my creative writing instructors once told me, writers tend to be a quiet bunch. and i think anything we write--including characters--tend to reflect huge parts of ourselves, so imagine if we just had a cast of quiet characters who twiddled their thumbs all the time. that’s not a good story, and those aren’t always very dynamic characters. so have fun! take one singular trait that you find intriguing about yourself or in in others and say to yourself, “okay, but what if i dialed it up?” see where it gets you!

but i guess if we want to talk more about how to make characters feel like more real people, then i guess it goes down to the age-old question all writers need to ask when looking at their characters: 

what does your character want?

think about it. anything your character wants is what is ultimately going to drive them forward to do what they’re going to do. act the way they’re going to act, say what they’re going to say. 

there’s a story that i wrote a while back about a girl who’s the daughter of an assassin. she wants to be a lawyer, while her mom wants her to follow the family business and become an assassin as well. 

so how does the mom act? the mom does everything in her power to get her daughter to be excited about being an assassin--lets her in on interrogation rooms, takes her to a shooting range, gets increasingly frustrated and turns up the denial denial denial mode every time her daughter talks about the possibility of law school. 

the daughter? the daughter does everything in her power to make sure her mom knows that she doesn’t want to be an assassin. she deliberately lounges around during the interrogation, she misses all the targets on the shooting range on purpose, etc. 

so, in essence: your characters have to want something first. as soon as they want something, the rest will slowly come to place. even if you’ve never been an assassin or the relative of one, you still probably relate to at least the feeling of wanting something badly, and all people know that feeling too! it’s real, and it’s human to want something. 

combine that want with, idk, the type of background you have for your characters (and there’s a ton of different resources on developing that specifically), and soon, you’ll find yourself writing/communicating/tearing your hair out with a much more fleshed-out character.

and, if you’ve done all these and you still want to know a little more about your character, another thing to flesh out original characters/stories: 

1. write fanfic of them. no, seriously, do it. sometimes you can’t really write your big story/novel/whatever right away, but you have a very specific scene or you want to reimagine them in a different setting and just play around with them. that’s okay! what are they like in a modern day high school au? in a coffeeshop au? play around with it, and see what’s consistent (do they meet the same people in the same manner over and over again? do they like to listen to one specific kind of music? do they still talk funny? do they still wear x?) 

2. make playlists! like...music is personally one of my big inspirations, so this is where i usually throw in some good old playlists. more times than not, i’m able to write with my original characters with my original character’s specific playlist playing in the background. (and it’s wonderful! i have one character playlist that’s almost solely musical/disney music because she’s a very innocent kind of gal, while another playlist is very heavy punk/rock because that’s Just How She Is.)

3. write incorrect quotes! you know the ones i’m talking about--there are so many incorrect quote blogs on tumblr. i have a separate, private sideblog here on tumblr that’s completely dedicated to writing incorrect quotes of my original characters. i sometimes post screenshots of them here too, although i haven’t done that in a while. but incorrect quotes are fun, and they might give you a good idea of the kind of characters/archetypes you want them to fit into! 

(and, because i can’t resist, here’s an example from my own original characters:) 

galen: andrea, i need you to swear to me--

andrea: shit

galen: 

galen: i meant swear like promise, andrea //

rosalind: crushes are the worst 

dae: yeah, whenever i’m near one, i just start acting nervous 

rosalind: you’re always nervous 

dae: ...don’t think too hard 

myung, tired: bold of you to assume rosalind thinks

4. alternatively, make a whole private side blog dedicated to your original characters and reblog/tag the posts that remind you of them. like, you know the “[x] characters as tumblr posts”? yeah. i do that a lot. so, just because i really can’t resist, some more examples: 

“Bro, We Are Rivals . Its Ok To Pin ME Up Against A Wall . Im Ur Nemesis . I Hate You . ... Bro, We Are Kissing Now . . No Dont Stop Bro .. Bro ... // @gayarsonist 

oh so you’re just going to wear a black turtleneck?? like some kind of slut?? // @allergic-alien 

and sometimes, i’ll use that blog to also reblog poetry that resonates with my original characters/gifsets of actors/actresses that i would fancast as my original characters. (like,,,did i look at ewan mcgregor in mortdecai and gratuitously tag him as a villain character in one of my wips? yeah. yeah, i did. it’s fun writing that villain character now, though. :)) 

and those are all the tips that i have!!! i hope that helps!!! have fun writing, friend!!