đżđžđČđŹđźđ¶đȘđČđ” - Mathew Barzal x Reader
Summary: what started as an accidentall voicemial to your ex boyfriend ended up becoming routine and maybe even more
TW: none that i can think of
Word count: 3.9k
A/N: completely made up game schedule btw
Masterlist
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âHey, itâs Mat.â His voice echoed through the phone, so familiar yet strangely distant now. Youâd heard him speak in interviews, but this was different. He was addressing you, or at least the voicemail version of you. âI canât answer right now, so you know what to do.â
You didnât know what to do. Calling your ex-boyfriend, the one you had broken up with months ago, wasnât something you had exactly planned. Yet, when the acceptance email for the program you had worked tirelessly for arrived, the one he had witnessed you pour your heart into, he was the person you wanted to share it with. So thatâs what you were doing, trying no to overthink it before nerves got the best of you.
âMat, hi. This is so randomâH-how are you?â Thank God he didnât answer, you were a stuttering mess leaving a voicemail imagine if it had been him on the other end instead. âI got in! Into the program I mean. I donât know why, but I wanted to tell you. You helped me so much beforeââ you cut yourself again. It didnât feel right to mention the break up like that, but what could you say? Before I broke up with you? Before I stumbled out of your apartment leaving you behind without an explanation?
âFuck it. I canât do this.â You pulled your phone away from your ear and touched the red dot.
Thatâs it. He didnât need to know, he probably wouldnât even care. Who would want their ex to call to tell them they were doing great? That maybe after all the breakup was worth it because they had gotten into the program they had neglected their relationship for? Too long, right?
A second later, realization struck like lightning â you had ended the call before deleting the voicemail. It had been sent.
âOh no, no, no!â you exclaimed, eyes widening in horror. There was no turning back. Mat would undoubtedly hear you stumbling over your words. Why couldnât you have just left well enough alone? The last thing he needed was you barging back into his life with a pathetic voicemail about something he likely moved on from. âHe probably already despises me after how everything unfolded, and now thisâ you thought.
You were wrong, because no longer than 5 minutes after everything had gone down your phone was buzzing in your hand, Matâs contact bright in the center as he now waited for you to pick up for a change.
âMat.â you picked up.
âHey. You called me?â He sounded confused, for very obvious reasons. Nevertheless it was nice to hear his voice now directed at you.
âYeah, right. I left you a voicemail.â You rolled your eyes. At least you sounded less nervous than earlier on the voicemail, but it was not less embarrassing.
Matâs voice came through, cool and collected. âOh, sorry, I didnât check. I just saw the missed call and, you know.â
âSure, sure.â you replied, trying to sound half as calm as he seemed to be with the whole situation.
âDo you want me to hear it or âŠâ his offer hovered in the air.
âNo! I mean, I can tell you.â You cringed at the thought of him hearing your rambling voicemail. âSo, I called because I just got the mail. I got into the program!â
âShut up! Thatâs great! Congratulations!â Matâs excitement burst through the line. Your heart melted a little. After everything that had happened he sounded genuinely happy for you.
âThank you, Maty.â
Matâs tone softened. âYou deserve it, after all the hard work you put into it. I knew youâd get it.â
You chuckled, the tension easing. âI know, I know. You told me like a million times. I was just insecure.â
For a second you let yourself imagine this was under other circumstances. You were still together and he was calling you right after practice or from another city in one of his roadies. Heâd come back home eventually and hug you so tight you wouldnât be able to breath, probably lift you up and spin you around a little. You wouldnât be able to stop laughing and-
âI know âŠâ Matâs response brought you back to reality. The reality in which he wouldnât knock on your door with his arms wide open.
His tone carried an easy understanding. He definitely knew about your insecurities. They played a huge role on why your relationship was the way it was right now: nonexistent.
âSo thatâs what the voicemail said?â He broke the silence.
âYeah, basically. But you know, all giddy and stuff. Really embarrassing.â
Matâs laughter grew louder, and you could practically see him shaking his head. âOh, really? Well, now I have to hear it.â
âNo, no, no.â you protested, your embarrassment deepening. âSeriously, donât Barzal. I know where you live.â
But Mat insisted, his curiosity piqued. âCome on! Embrace the cringe. It canât be that bad.â
He ended the call before you could object anymore, only to call you back a minute later. Matâs laughter erupted again as soon as you picked up, and you couldnât help but join in, the shared humor dissipating the lingering awkwardness. If you closed your eyes you could almost picture him with that scrunched up nose as he laughed.
âThe âfuck it, i canât do thisâ was the best part by far.â
-
The familiar buzz of the MSG postgame show filled the cozy confines of your living room as Matâs name flashed brightly on your phone, catching you off guard. Shannon and Hickey were in full praise mode, replaying Matâs epic goal on loop, and there he was, the main attraction, waiting on the other end of the line for you to pick up.
You fumbled for your phone, a grin tugging at the corners of your lips as you swiped to answer. âHey, I didnât expect your call.â you remarked, the commentatorâs voices still ringing in your ears.
âBad timing?â Matâs voice crackled through the phone, a hint of breathlessness underscoring his words â probably still riding the adrenaline high from the ice.
âNo, no. Itâs just that a second ago you were on my screen falling all over the ice.â you teased, imagining his less-than-graceful moments on the rink.
âI donât fall that much!â he argued, sounding mildly offended.
âYou do, but you also score, so itâs forgiven. Congrats on your almost hatty, by the way.â You chuckled, knowing how much he loathed falling a goal short. Always so hard on himself.Â
Mat scoffed, clearly annoyed at missing the mark. âSo, you watched tonight?â
âObviously, I watch every game I can catch.â you replied, the excitement of the game still coursing through your veins. The thrill of watching Mat succeed, even from a distance, even after all that happened, was undeniable.
âYou should come, you know. Iâm sure the girls would love to see you.â Mat suggested, his voice tinged with a hint of longing.
âI donât know, Mat. Itâs not my place anymore.â you hesitated, letting the uncertainty hang in the air. You had to change the subject before your mind started spiraling. âAnyway, why did you call?â
âOh, right. I listened to your voicemail again!â
âSo you called to tell me you havenât actually deleted it like you promised?â
âI heard it right before the game and got 2 goals and 2 assists. I think itâll become my new pregame ritual, honestly.â Mat admitted, his voice softer now, laced with a hint of nostalgia. Why had he chosen to hear it? Thatâs something he would save for himself for now. The shared memories of your past flitted between you, unspoken but palpable.
âReally? Want me to send embarrassing voicemails before every game?â
âIâd love it. Yes, please.â Mat replied with a laugh, the warmth of his laughter washing over you like a comforting embrace. The playful banter held a certain intimacy, a bridge between past flames and the uncharted territory of what lay ahead.
The banter flowed seamlessly, a blend of shared history and the current moment. The familiarity was comforting, but the unspoken complexities of your past lingered in the air, a delicate tension.
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NYI vs. TBL - November 5th
âHey, Barzy. I donât know if you were joking or not but hereâs your pregame embarrassing voicemail as solicited. You werenât serious, right? Well fuck it, enjoy it or ignore me whatever.â
NYI vs. CGY - November 7th
âJust walked past that coffee shop where we had our third or fourth date I think. Remember how you choked over your latte when I lied and said I loved the Rangers?â
NYI vs. SEA - November 9th
âHey, you wonât believe who I just saw. That guy that lives in the building across the street, the one that has your face tattooed on his left arm. He asked about you, told me to wish you good luck. So good luck from him ⊠and from me. Good luck tonight.â
NYI vs. VAN - November 11th
âHi! Your sister told me your family is going tonight, so send them a kiss from me, ok? ⊠I-I keep in touch with her, I donât know if you knew that or like maybe I shouldâve told you? Are you ok with that? Iâm sorry I just assumed you would be. Anyway, good luck! Say hi from me! Or donât if you donât want to-â
NYI vs. NYR - November 16th
âDude. Rangers tonight. Donât mess it up. May have bet on you guys with a guy from work, I donât wanna have to pay for his lunch tomorrow. Please. Good luck, 13.â
NYI vs. PIT - November 18th
âShit, shit, shit. Hope you can hear this before the game. Iâm still getting used to the programâs schedule and all of that, Iâm kind of a mess right now. Anyway, good luck!â
NYI vs. DET - November 20th
âMaty, hi! I know this is kind of dumb because I saw you like 10 minutes ago and Iâm in the building but still thought I should leave the voicemail just in case. (Come on!) Ok I have to go, Sydney has a tone of gossip to catch me up on. Good luck!â
NYI vs. DAL - November 23th
âHello Mr Barzal, I wonât be able to watch tonight, but still good luck! Even if you donât win, I hope you score a goal, make an assist. That 8 game point streak you have going on is insane. I think Iâll start charging you for this if they are working so well.Good luck Barzy!â
NYI vs. STL - November 26th
âHey! First of all, good luck! Second, I left my scarf at the Leeâs last night. Itâs red, I was wearing it when you picked me up. Grace said Anders would give it to you tonight. Maybe we can meet for coffee tomorrow so you can give it back? Anyway, good luck!â
NYI vs. CHI - November 28th
â13, hello! I donât have anything funny to tell you today so just good luck! Love you- shit, sorry. Habit I guess. Bye.â
NYI vs. NYR - November 30th
âYou have zero new voicemails. To record a new personal greeting press one-â
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You tried everything to get your mind off it, but it wasnât working. The cup of tea was now cold in your hand and you couldnât even pretend to care what was going on in the movie you had playing on your tv. The game had ended an hour ago but it was on replay in your mind.
It was silly to think it was your fault. You couldnât influence the score of the match, the 5-1 loss against the Rangers wasnât on you. However the outcome wouldâve been different if their starplayer hadnât been taking stupid penalties, losing the puck, causing turnovers. That could be on you partially.
The bell ringing caught you by surprise, almost dropping the cold tea. You got up to answer, even though you had a feeling you knew who was waiting by your buildingâs door.
âHello?â
âItâs me.â The familiar voice needed no introduction.
âMat? What are you doing here?âÂ
âBuzz me in.â he requests, and you could practically hear the determination in his tone. With a resigned sigh, you pressed the buzzer, knowing full well he wouldnât leave until he got what he came for.
A few moments later, a knock sounded at the door, and you found yourself face to face with him. Determination was bright in his eyes, your heart started racing.
âWhatâs going on?â He rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed by your attempt at pretending not to know why heâs there.
âYou didnât leave a voicemail.â Mat strided in without waiting for an invitation, and the unspoken tension was palpable.
âRight, that. I guess I forgot. Sorry.â you lied, trying to sound convincing but knowing thereâs no use, heâd know. You closed the door behind him almost instinctively, as if shutting out the forthcoming emotional storm thatâs about to break in your apartment.
âYouâve been sending me a voicemail before every single game for the past month.â he remarked, his gaze keenly picking up on your avoidance. Frustration started to take over. He already had been in this position before, begging you for explanations and all you did was look away. âPlease, donât shut me out. Not again.â
âI got confused, okay? Why are we doing this? Iâm your ex-girlfriend, I broke up with you, Mat. And now Iâm going to your games and sending you voicemails every game? What even is this?â
At some point you started walking all over the living room, the distress was clear. Mat was better at hiding it, he stood still by the door like he had been since he walked in, but you could see his hands fidgeting. Neither of you had a clear head to take on what was about to come, chaos was inevitable.
âI donât know, but I thought you liked this. I thought it was like an inside joke, our own thing.â
âIt was that. But youâre not supposed to have that with your ex.â you said, trying to emphasize the last word for him, as if a reminder of your status would help the situation in any way.Â
âWeâre friends?â He furrowed his brows, and, had it not been for the situation you were in, you wouldâve laughed at the way even he sounded so unsure of what he was saying.
âMat, come on. Itâs confusing, I know I was getting confused. It started with the voicemails, which was already something, but then weâre talking every day, Iâm going to your games again and teamâs gatherings, weâre hanging out again. I said âI love youâ on my last one!â You finally looked at him, baring it all. There was only one solution in your mind and it had to be taken no matter the pain it would undoubtedly cost you. âI think itâs better if we stop.â
There was a moment of silence, he looked at you as if trying to read through the wall you were hiding behind. Trying to decipher if it was you speaking or your insecurities had taken over again. Most importantly, trying to figure out if this time he had what it took to get to you before he lost you.
âI donât want it to stop.â he said, determination clear in his voice. In a second he closed the gap between you. The proximity caught you off guard, you couldnât remember the last time you were this close. âTell me you donât feel anything.â It sounded almost like a beg, but he didnât care.
âWe broke up.â you insisted, trying to sound all resolute.
âYou broke up with me.â he corrected you, his gaze holding steady, slicing through your defenses.
âWe werenât working, Mat! We could barely see each other, and when we did, we were too tired or stressed. We fought a lot. We broke up.â It sounded almost childish the way you stubbornly persisted on it, like you needed to reassure yourself more than him how things had played out last time.
âCouples fight sometimes; itâs normal. I was stressed about the playoffs, and you were stressed about getting into the program. It was a bad moment, yes, but thatâs over.â
âOther problems are gonna come up.â
âWe can face them together, we fight and make up. Thatâs it, thatâs how couples work.â
You paused for a second, it made no sense to keep on repeating yourself. It seemed like he had a solution for every obstacle you presented. He had come here for answers, it was time to give them to him even if you were answering older already forgotten questions.
âI was scared, Mat. I was scared and insecure, and it felt like I was ruining it all.â Tears start rolling down your face and thereâs nothing he wants more than to hug you, keep you close to his chest, push the pain away; but he knows he shouldnât. Youâre finally letting down your guard, telling him what heâs been dying to hear for months; he has to give you space to be vulnerable. âI thought it was better to break things up before they got really nasty.â your voice wobbled.
âI get it, I really do. But you couldâve told me and I shouldâve been more present, not left you alone to deal with our problems. We couldâve tried to make it work. â He looked deep into your eyes, his own reflecting a mix of understanding and unwavering love. âI know I loved you more than enough to work through it.â
âIâm so sorry. Iâm sorry about how I ended things, and Iâm sorry about the voicemail and all the mess Iâve caused.â You tried to walk away from him, the proximity being too much, but he caught your arm making you face him once again.
Tears started streaming down his face as you tried to grapple with the weight of your own decisions. He looked you in the eyes, the determination from earlier is still there, even behind the tears those glossy eyes told you he wasnât gonna leave in silence like last time. This time he had to leave it all out, even if he ended up hurt in the process.
âWhen you first called me I was too nervous to answer so I let it go to voicemail. I think even then I knew it wasnât over for me, I knew hearing your voice would bring it all back.â You winced, acutely aware of the emotional turmoil youâve caused. What you didnât know was he wasnât worried about pain coming back; what worried him was all the love he had for you and had pushed away after the break up coming back and once again not having where to put it.
âBut then I wanted to hear you, the real you, not the voicemail, so I called you. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to hear you, like my heart was beating again after months of numbness. And you were telling me this great news, when you got that acceptance letter you wanted to tell me.â he continued, and you released a heavy breath, a half-smile forming on your face. He was right, the first person you wanted to share your triumph with was him, you hadnât thought much about it back then but no it was so clear.
âI replayed your voicemail before the game that first time because I wanted to hear your voice. I didnât realize how much I missed it until I heard you over the phone earlier that day, and all I wanted was to hear you again talking to me.â he confessed, a mixture of vulnerability and longing in his words. âAt first I thought maybe I was making it up, you know? Maybe it was just my unresolved feelings, maybe there was nothing going on. But you called me first and then you kept on sending the voicemails. Things were going back to the way they were before. It felt like I was me again, like we were us again.â
Mat smiled thinking how everyone could notice; his friends, his teammates, his family, everyone could see the old Mat was back. He told them off, too afraid to consider you were all he was missing because he knew he didnât have you back, not yet.
His hand gently cupped your face, sending a shiver down your spine. Closing your eyes, you leaned into his touch. You missed it, there was no denying it anymore. You missed it all too muchâhis touch, his voice, his energy, his very presence. Him.
âYou said âI love youâ on the last voicemail. I replayed it like 20 times at least, just to hear those three words. From you, to me.â The weight of those three words hung in the air between the two of you after so long, it was electrifying. Your heart raced; he was about to say it, and you yearned to hear it.
âI love you.â he declared, and there was no ambiguity this time. It wasnât a recall of your words; this time, it was his confession to you.
âMatyâŠâ was all you managed to say; his nickname laden with tenderness and echoes of old fears that still lingered.
âI want this. I want you even if I can only see you two times a week and even if half that time you are studying or working or stressing over both. I want to be there with you. I want to fight and make up. I want all of it, the messy and ugly included.â
âI love you.â you finally whispered.
It was over. He loved you, you loved him, and there was nothing left to say.
In that breath-holding moment, he leaned down, his lips finally touching yours. Itâs not just a kiss; itâs a wild ride through forgiveness, longing, and the silent agreement to dive back into the messy and the beautiful, hand in hand. He was smiling into the kiss, so were you. The taste of salt from their tears lingered, mingling with the sweetness of the moment. The kiss spoke of second chances and the magic of beginnings, a promise to rewrite the story that had once unraveled.
You pulled away, breathless and teary-eyed, yet a radiant joy painted across your faces. You laughed, a melody of relief and newfound hope. One of his hands was on your back as the other traveled from your face to the back of your head, pulling you against his chest. Your arms hugged his torso tight.
âI love you.â he mumbled against your head before placing a kiss on top.
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NYI vs. MTL - December 1st
âHey! Good luck tonight babe-â
âI donât think it counts if Iâm literally next to you when you record it.â
âShush. Whoâs the voicemail expert here? Me. Anyway, as I was saying before you interrupted me: good luck tonight, I love you.â
âI love you too.â
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soooooo itâs here! hope you like it! like and reblogs are always appreciated!
it felt so good to write again and to share it too, hope i have more time this year to write more stuff
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